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#misgendering
drmajalis · 2 months
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Brb going to wotc to get this card printed and included in every pre-con
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Let's just say I had a bad experience at mtg today.
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Bigots denying a woman her womanhood aren't actually granting her the status of "man" esp with all its attendant privileges.
Degendering is a form of dehumanization. The goal of misgendering/degendering a woman is generally to treat her as a disposable object, unworthy of even the conditional and dubious "protection" that women are supposedly due under patriarchy.
If they actually saw her as a man she wouldn't be targeted in these ways, and "man/manly/male" would never be spat at her like an insult.
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An unfortunate, reoccurring phenomenon I've experienced increasingly is people pestering me about my gender and/or hinting that they're a trans ally (assuming they aren't trans themselves) and goading me into coming out, and then getting extremely uncomfortable when I come out as a trans man. I'm genuinely shocked by the amount of times in the past few months alone I've come out and explained that I'm ftm, a binary trans man who uses he/him, and have been asked "Okay, so can I use they/them?" Or, "why don't you use they/them?"
I am not a passing trans man - not for lack of trying, but due to things that I simply cannot control, hide, or remedy right now. I have been told I look more androgynous than masculine, which is a significant part of why my pronouns are questioned, yes, even by other trans people. It makes people uncomfortable, because my identity doesn't align with their perception of me.
But even if I wasn't doing my fucking best to pass, even if I didn't bind, or if I chose wore dresses and skirts, my pronouns should be respected. You don't get to "compromise" or decline to use someone's pronouns because their presentation doesn't align with the image in your head. You can't just refer to any trans person by they/them pronouns because it makes you more comfortable.
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transfaguette · 10 months
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ppl are like “yeah society hates when women do unwomenly things” and youre like “yeah like being a man” and theyre like “well no actually theyre ok with that :)”
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fakeboy-breeder · 4 months
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fakeboy who gets hired at a ren faire thinking he’ll be a knight or a jester, but he’s actually been cast as a prostitute for the fully-functional, period accurate brothel, where he’ll be playing the role of “unwilling naive girl forced into prostitution out of desperation”. and she won’t even have to act!
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nyxisart · 5 months
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At leats my back passes!
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0w0tsuki · 3 months
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God damn "dude/man/guy is gender neutral actually" discourse is really a sign y'all are fucking hopeless. Because the bar is quite literally on the FUCKING FLOOR.
You know the stereotypical "performative cis liberal ally"? The one who upon acknowledging they've been corrected about an accidental misgendering, turns it into an entire god damn show of apologizing and telling you how HARD they're working to gender you correctly. Yeah if you're someone who defends the use of dude and man as gender neutral terms guess what? Even with making every apology a grand display at least they're fucking apologizing and putting forth an effort to show you that they're putting your interests in mind.
Which is more than can be said of you.
Imagine if they were told they accidentally deadnamed you. And instead of the usual acting like they just accidentally hit their own fucking child they went "Actually I think [DEADNAME] is pretty androgynous and could be used for anyone of any gender! I'm not going to use it now that you have corrected me! But I just wanted you to know I didn't see myself as explicitly misgendering you when I used [DEADNAME]"
We are asking for the BARE MINIMUM amount of effort! Literally all you have to do is if your going to insist that "Using gender neutral terms when referring to somebody even when their actual gender is readily available information is actually the correct way to gender somebody online" that at the VERY LEAST use actual gender neutral terms instead of dude/guy/man. You don't even give up your use of it in your everyday life. You're only being asked to think about this in spaces where trans women are common such as online queer spaces.
That is how little trans women not being misgendered left and right in places that sell themself as safe for her matters to you. It matters so little that you can't even be asked to not do the barest minimum to not contribute to an environment where anyone who wants to misgender a trans woman with no repercussions can just Dude her knowing full well that she will view it as misgendering and fall back on "oh I was just being gender neutral. YoU sHoUdN't AuToMaTiClY aSsUmInG pEoPlE's GeNdErS!!" Which is a common enough occurrence that we have to have this fucking discourse.
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The bar is on the floor and y'all are digging holes just to not have to face the smallest of inconveniences. Performative allies are fucking lapping you. You should be embarrassed.
Do better
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transmasc-advice-blog · 4 months
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ways to correct people who misgender you
for me correcting people is really hard bc i have really bad social anxiety so i made a list of ways to correct people that might be easier. (sent this to our-transmasculine-experience but i thought i’d post this here too)
my teacher misgendered me so i wrote my pronouns next to my name on a worksheet. not only did he start gendering me correctly, he also felt bad so he went easy on me for a bit (didn’t grade as harshly and called on me before other people) NOT THAT MAKING PEOPLE FEEL BAD IS GOOD
you can have a friend gender you correctly in front of the misgenderer MANY times (it takes a lot of times lol) works better if they know you and friend are close
text them
have a friend tell them
pronoun pin (didn’t work that well for me, but it did get a few people to start gendering me correctly so give it a go if you want :)
not necessarily towards the person but mention your gender like “ugh being non binary is so hard sometimes” or like “i got that tboy swag” bc that may get them thinking and they may ask you your pronouns
you can put your pronouns in your email signature
say something along the lines of “and then brenda said ‘oh yeah [your name] is so cool [your correct pronoun] said my jacket made me look pretty’” so like say your pronouns… for yourself, yk? so for me it would be “and then brenda said ‘oh yeah Vince is so cool he said my jacket made me look pretty’” idk if that makes sense
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Love when they “soften” the blow of misgendering
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one-time-i-dreamt · 5 months
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I accidentally misgendered a friend in a post and the panic scramble to get my phone to fix it woke me up. I actually went to check for the post before I realized it had been a dream.
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resdayn · 6 months
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character/historical figure: lives openly as a man his whole life, uses he/him pronouns exclusively, passes as a man even with family, close friends, and partners, refuses to go by other pronouns under any circumstance
everyone, inevitably on seeing his anatomy: wow, i love her!! what a female icon!!! she is so cute!!!
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little-tunny · 1 year
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I’ll accept any pronouns but when people are like 100% just trying to be rude to me its just like ohh no my ears...my eyes...they do not perceive anything around me...sorry i cannot hear u.....
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ftmfakeboi · 16 days
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Definitely a different vibe after I shaved, but I don't hate it as much as I was worried I would...I think it's cute actually!
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bloompawz · 9 days
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Tumblr is still actively endorsing transphobia on this website. Reblog the fuck out of this.
Tumblr got back to me about a report for once... Just to tell me that the blatant transphobia I reported "does not violate community guidelines."
These are the posts which Tumblr staff decided should be kept on the platform, with screenshots.
Also, I apologize in advance for censoring the usernames of the transphobes in the screenshots. Tumblr does absolutely nothing to protect its trans users, so I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up getting in trouble instead, just for including their usernames. I will mention, however, that every transphobe had transphobic dogwhistles in their usernames and/or bio. Transphobes are not difficult to spot. Staff are just apathetic at best, and actively transphobic at worst.
Exhibit A: A post in which someone repeatedly and explicitly misgenders trans women, fearmongers about "trans ideology," uses transphobic dogwhistles, and denies the existence of transmisogyny. This isn't even the full post; it was an incredibly long transphobic tangent. The comments were full of transphobes as well. None of them were banned. Tumblr staff think this is okay.
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Exhibit B: A post in which someone delights in the idea of a trans person hurting themselves by "ripping at their surgery scars," with additional ableist undertones. Not a hypothetical trans person either; a real individual trans person. She was not banned.
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Exhibit C: A post in which a self-proclaimed TERF refers to consensual gender affirming surgeries as "forced surgeries" and frames trans people as "Nazis and fascists" just for trying to become comfortable in our own bodies. She did this in direct response to trans people celebrating their own surgeries. She was not banned.
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Exhibit D: A post in which someone says "transgenderism is erasing women" and blames the existence of misgendering and degendering on trans people, as if we aren't also hurt by those things frequently. She also said that trans women are "not women" in comments on her own post. She was not banned.
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Exhibit E: A post in which someone engages in a blatant form of Holocaust denial, by saying trans transgender and queer people "were not targeted" (while simultaneously casting doubt on the validity of those identities themselves by putting them in scare quotes). Trans persecution and book burnings are a well documented aspect of the Holocaust. This post was also reblogged by other transphobes. None of them were banned.
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@staff care to explain why you think these posts are okay? Would you like to tell us how and why these "don't violate community guidelines"? Did you learn nothing from the lawsuit that happened because of transphobia among staff? After everything that has happened, why is there still nothing being done about the rampant transphobia on this website?
Just curious.
Also, in case I get banned or this post gets deleted, here's an archived version of my post. Keep it tucked away somewhere.
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abracazabka · 8 months
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In sophomore Spanish, there was a trans guy in our class. I want to tell a story about him.
The teacher just really seemed to target him. She always deadnamed him, always referred to him with feminine language, always, always used him as an example during lessons so as to misgender him. It was awful, but. But.
Nobody in class fell for that shit.
We all referred to him correctly in Spanish, even the kids who did not give a shit about learning the language. It was aggressive allyship in that classroom and it pissed off my transphobic teacher to no end.
If paired with him, we wrote masculine words on our work. We all did. She couldn't mark down all of us. And God knows I was a nerd, so if she marked me down, I would have made a scene.
I was willing to make a scene for him, and so was just about everyone else in the class, despite him not being great friends with anyone, or even talking very much. It didn't matter; it was the principle of the thing, it was his human rights.
We all told her to fuck off without using said words, despite the clear power she had over us. So, the moral of the story for students, especially high school students, is:
Protect your peers. There are more of you than there are of your asshole educator. Trans folks don't need to be your friends for you to stand up for them, quietly or loudly.
Teenagers/students tend to follow the leader; so be a leader, and don't take shit from adults/instructors who would use their power over you to disrespect you, and to degrade you. Don't let them do that to your peers.
You can have an army of sixteen year old allies from all walks of life if you (within reason and safely) take a stand. Don't lose hope, and don't lose agency.
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liberaljane · 1 year
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Anti-Trans Legislation Kills
[Digital illustration of a Black trans women wearing a dress made of words describing anti-trans legislation. Bills included are, “gender-affirming care bans, insurance coverage bans, drag bans, misgendering, uneducated medical professionals, youth sports bans, book bans, dead naming, stigma, and workplace discrimination.’ Text reads, ‘anti-trans legislation kills.’]
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