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#but man so many shows write children like they dont understand anything ever and never try to
kennythetrampvamp · 2 years
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Cardamon, as a character, truly expresses the childhood desire to both be respected and be treated like a kid
He wants people to listen to him and value his opinion, but he also wants people to care about the fact that he is a kid who needs help and shouldn't be doing any of this.
I remember feeling that way as a kid.
I think cardamon is the most well written child character I've ever seen.
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matthewtkachuk · 3 years
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love in all its forms - rafe cameron
you love rafe cameron and he loves you too. sometimes it’s better shown than told
pairing: rafe cameron x reader
warnings: allusion to sex, light angst (duh its me), no dialogue (is that a warning? idk)
words: 1k
a/n: this has been in my drafts for ages, finally finished her up this morning. this is probably the last thing i write for obx for a while, hoping s2 will bring some more motivation
Rafe Cameron has never been big on ‘I love you’s. He loves to hear it from you - your cracked sleep-laden voice first thing in the morning, a breathless whimper when he’s inside of you, rushed and casually as you peck his lips and leave the house, softly in his ear before you fall asleep in his arms, a quick text throughout the day. There is no sweeter sound that falls from your lips than those three syllables, except maybe for your soft sighs and moans.
Growing up, he never heard the words. A dead mother and an absentee father who didn’t have the time to ensure his emotional needs were met. It worsened as he got older, saddled with responsibilities and expectations he couldn’t keep up with, his father’s absenteeism grew into cold malice, the lack of love became an intentional absence. Ward Cameron only loved two of his children, and neither of them were his only son.
And so Rafe finds the words difficult to say. He means them, oh God does he mean them. He loves you like he’s never loved anything before. When he looks at you he sees an unbridled future, the two of you against the world, surviving and thriving, despite obstacle after obstacle. He sees marriage and a white picket fence and a dog and two and a half children that he will love the way he never was loved. He sees possibilities and hope and everything he ever dreamed of. He sees love in its purest form.
While he can’t say the words back when you utter them, he shows you in so many other ways. A vase of calla lilies brought home on a random Tuesday ‘just because’ and ‘they made me think of you’. Makeshift candle lit dinners when he knows you’ve had a bad day. Always vacuuming the living room carpet before you even have a chance to ask, because he knows it is your least favorite cleaning duty. Grabbing you a blue gatorade and your favorite snack when fueling up on a road trip even though you said you didn’t want anything. Gentle lovemaking, held hands and foreheads pressed together, intermingling breaths and soft kisses on bare skin. 
You treated him so good, he isn’t sure he deserves it. He knows he can be an asshole, and his temper needs work, and he can be overly possessive which you hate. He often says the wrong thing, can snap at you when you don’t deserve it. He sometimes forgets important things like your anniversary or dinner with one of your parents, and you don’t like it when he blows you off to go golfing with the boys. But you love him, flaws and all, and you will always forgive him. 
You knew love. Growing up, your parents had always told you they loved you and each other. with words, with actions, with gifts. Every morning you would witness the blissful domestic form of love, as your parents moved around the kitchen, movements a decades long choreography of your mother making coffee as your father made eggs. Stolen kisses and slight squeezes. A kiss atop your head and to your mother’s cheek before your father left for work and your mother was left to get you off to school. Dancing in the kitchen and family vacations and quiet Tuesdays. Father/daughter dances and dates and your mother pulling you out of school early one Friday a month to take you to get your nails done and a late lunch at your favorite restaurant. Consequently, you grew up very loved. 
However you also knew love could hurt. As a teenager, you had watched as your parents’ love for each other couldn’t combat their issues with each other. As your mother sought love in a man ten years her junior and as your father blamed himself, that his love hadn’t been enough for her. You knew that despite love’s best intentions it could very quickly turn to resentment, hate and impatience. You had witnessed the death of love, seen love in its most desperate and despicable form.
Despite this you had fallen deeply and quickly in love with Rafe Cameron. From the moment you had met freshman year at some stupid social your roommate had dragged you to, you knew he was it for you. He was dressed like a douchebag, blue henley and backwards baseball cap with your university team written across it, a red solo cup full of jungle juice grasped in one hand, the other hand flicking through his phone. Ordinarily he was exactly the type of guy that you would avoid but there was something about the look in his eye, or maybe it was the small smirk that graced his lips when he caught you staring for a minute too long. Whatever it was, it possessed you to cross the makeshift dancefloor, place your hand in his and drag him to dance with you; all without even knowing his name yet. He’d let you guide him and hadn’t stopped following you like a lovesick puppy since. 
At first it bothered you that he couldn’t say the words. You had an idea in your head of what the perfect progression of a relationship was, and when you had said the words first and he had been unable to reciprocate, you had stormed out of his apartment in a mix of embarrassment and sadness that your feelings were not shared. As he explained the next day, that wasn’t quite the truth, that he had never been comfortable with the words but that didn’t mean that he didn’t mean them too. 
As your relationship progressed, you began to see the ways he told you he loved you without having to physically speak the words. Picking you up at the bar after a few too many without any judgement. Taking on your least favorite household chores so you wouldn’t have to. You realized that love was more than three words, eight letters. It was every action, every conscious choice where he picked you every time. 
Your love wasn’t perfect. It was selfish and petty at times, it wasn’t always fair. But it was beautiful too, understanding and compassion and light. It was a combination of all you were and all that he was, and in all of its forms it was yours.
taglist babies (im so sorry if u dont care abt this anymore, i just copy pasted from my last fic lov u ) @velyssaraptor @danicarosaline @copper-boom @x-lulu @prejudic3 @rekrappeter @downbytheouterbanks @ilovejjmaybank @bricksatanakinswindow @jellyfishbeansontoast @rudyypankow @im-a-stranger-thing @alexa-playafricabytoto @hoodpankow @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @sortagaysortahigh @socialwriter @bloodyheavcn @anxietyandtacos @diverrdown @starkeyseguin​  @dmonchld​@rafej-cambanks @stfukie @obxmermaid
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spidermanifested · 3 years
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remember when i said in my post about how bido is unappreciated that id talk about why greed/bido is a good and important ship but thats a whole other post. well This is that post
the first and most important reason that greed/bido is a good ship is very simple and that reason is Bido Was In Love With Greed The Whole Time And Nobody Noticed?????? how come nobody noticed. i mean SOME people noticed but nowhere NEAR enough people noticed
when greed compliments bido for successfully proving that alphonse is just a soul bound to a suit of armor, he blushes and acts very flustered and happy. unfortunately this scene is not animated in either show (bido talking to greed is changed to be over the phone in 03, and in brotherhood the scene just gets skipped, HOWEVER theres a single shot of bidos face in one of greeds flashbacks that shows him blushing and looking directly at the camera. ie at greed)
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also in the manga his first thought when the military shut down the nest was to worry about whether greed SPECIFICALLY was okay (i used this page in my other post as well but its important)
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and in brotherhood he was shown to have actually followed greed through the sewers during his fight with bradley but could only watch from his hiding place as greed was defeated and taken away; remembering this is what gives him the determination to hitch a ride to central to look for him
did i mention he went all the way to central to find him!!! clinging to a MILITARY TRUCK no less. as a very obvious chimera if he had been found by any of those soldiers it would have been horrible for him and every other time we ever saw bido faced with danger he ran away from it. but he was brave For Greed. he went into the labyrinth under central For Greed, and didnt try to escape until he was convinced greed wasnt there. and when it turned out he WAS there (and had lost his memory and had been trying to kill him) he immediately dropped his guard and walked closer to him because that was greed and he trusted him despite everything that had just happened. in the manga he grabs onto greeds coat as he dies and it is just about the saddest thing ive ever seen in my whole life
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and then of course greed starts physically shaking because what he just did was so awful his body knows he fucked up before his mind even remembers Why it was fucked up and he cradles bidos body in his arms and screams. unfortunately if we are to acknowledge bido as the gay icon he was, we also must acknowledge that he was buried
(by all rights bido SHOULD have survived. where is the fanfiction where he survives fullmetal alchemist fandom or are you too busy writing the same royai-gets-married-and-has-babies fic over and over again. actually never mind i greatly prefer that to all the pedophilia. but thats another Other post, that unlike this incredibly niche topic some other people have almost definitely made before me)
the thing about grido is you could make a huge tragic thing about it being unrequited and frankly thats Fair, greed does not seem one to settle down in a relationship and bido likely has a lot of self worth issues that would prevent him from confessing his feelings. but you cannot deny that greed cared about him. he praises him, he pats him on the head (!!)
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he COMPLETELY breaks down after he realizes he killed him. bido was so important to greed, as were the rest of the chimeras of course but i think theres a valid argument to be made that bido in particular was special to him. theyve got a few things in common actually that i find interesting:
both like to just chill on roofs??? when greed is in lings body he sometimes just hangs out on top of a roof. bido does this too
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they could have hung out on roofs together.......maybe thats why greed likes to be up there. because he hung out with bido on roofs a lot. please consider this possibility
both of them are accidentally rude to children. the same children in fact
greed is like 200 and looks 30 while bido is middle-aged and people think he is a baby for some reason?????
okay this is just straight up a headcanon and has no actual basis in the text or subtext of fma but I Think Bido Is Trans and was cast out by his family in his youth and greed would understand that experience!!!! having left his own terrible family because they wanted him to be someone he wasnt
and then there are the differences:
greed is very outgoing and bido is mostly pretty anxious, though he has outbursts of confidence; that might be because greed being nice to him has built up his self-esteem (the way he calls himself cool/awesome when he escapes from the elrics, directly followed by greed complimenting his skills, really makes me think this is the case)
one is tall and lean........the other...is short and fat....... i know its cliche but let me have this
bido overthinks things. greed is a jock. with their powers combined they can do things at a mostly reasonable pace (as long as bido doesnt just go along with whatever greed wants which is probably most of the time what happens)
bido is outwardly inhuman and weird-looking but is incredibly caring and hard-working and loyal and sweet. greed is the sexiest motherfucker alive but hes literally the personification of a deadly sin and at his core he is technically just a rock made of pain. but below these layers both of them want the exact same thing which is to care about others and be cared for in return
also you know that post about how ships between immortal people and super young adults (or worse, teenagers) are OUT and instead we should have stories about immortal people dating 40-something accountants. bido is the 40-something accountant. except not an accountant. you know what im getting at though hes an Established Adult 
and bido DESERVES it, he deserves to be loved by the person he cares about more than anything, he has been through so much and gotten nothing but pain and he needs something good for a change!!! and greed DESERVES someone who will love him with all his heart and make him feel wanted no matter what. just, listen to me okay, they would make each other so happy
so!!! there are MANY reasons this ship is interesting and a million different ways you could go about exploring it and there is just NONE of it out there. for some reason the chimera that gets shipped the most with greed is dolcetto (though ive seen martel as well) and i think that is probably because they are more attractive to people (and also id wager more than a few dollars people simply see a dogman and his boss and go wild for the petplay angle). like you dont see any greed/roa either and thats very telling since roa appears with the other two almost every time and nothing about him is different except hes older and not as. pretty i guess???? in my humble onion hes hotter than either dolcetto or martel but thats neither here nor there
the important thing about bidos relationship to greed is that he might not have been transmuted with an animal with a strong sense of loyalty, but he didnt NEED to be, to be loyal to greed. he loved him entirely because he was human. and in the end he did the most for him out of any of the chimeras. unfortunately it was via dying but through the power of imagination we can collectively ignore that and pretend both he and greed survived, and greed went back to his original sexy, sexy body, and they made out on a roof for several consecutive hours. thats how im coping at least. thank you so much for listening to my unhinged rambling about lizard man who dies of fullmetal alchemist (gay edition)
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muriellive · 3 years
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If you, my dear reader, are Russian-speaking, then it will probably be easier for you to read this creation on the site "mangalib" or listen to this video:
youtube
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A forgotten village on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Clover - Ankvar, the inhabitants of this village were completely killed during the invasion attempt of the warring kingdom of Diamond. Among its ruins, slowly moving his feet, a tall man of about twenty, wrapped in all black, was waddling about. On his head was a large-brimmed hat with a silvery pattern on the tips, and his face was covered with a torn dark blue mask.
Elbe (and that is what he was called) was looking for a certain magical beast, which, according to rumors, has been raging in the eastern lands of the kingdom for quite some time. Who and why asked him about it is not known, but the man was never interested in the reasons and motives of his customers. "There is money, and okay" - so he thought. Yes, exactly, Elbe was a hunter ... a bounty hunter.
The order this time was very strange: "I have not ordered animals yet ..." - he thought.
But, let's forget about this hunter for a minute and go a little further south ...
Faber is a city on the outskirts, standing at the intersection of trade routes. A young (in fact, not very much, 32 years old is too much) knight magician, straightening a grayish cape with a deer patch, happily blurted out:
- Eh, it was a wonderful day today! - Novakhrono, again running away from his duties, walked around the evening town.
- Look, this is Mr. Julius! Captain of the Gray Deer! - joyful children's voices were heard behind the knight. Responding to their exclamations, the blond turned around, putting on a wide smile on his face, which, it would seem, could banish all sadness and sadness with its one appearance.
- Yeah, kids! Also strive to become knight magicians?
To his rather unintelligent question, the children happily chorus answered "Yeah!"
- Knight mages are cool! - shouted the red-haired boy.
- Cool, huh? - Julius said thoughtfully.
- Yes exactly! When I become a knight-magician, I will be able to fight and attack dangerous opponents with my magic. - the boy rejoiced.
“W-well, this is…” Novachrono tried to explain that the duties of the Knights-Mages are completely different from a simple battle.
“How stupid…” came a high, childish voice, in which, however, there was a certain alarm. The future king of magicians stretched out his neck a little to make out the owner of light brown, tattered hair. Before his eyes appeared a tiny little inch, wrapped in a long scarf and looking towards the children with sad, frightened eyes.
- What ?! - the red-haired boy looked at the girl with an inflated and angry expression on his face. - Nobody asked you, ragamuffin!
- Well, well, don't. - Julius tried to settle the situation. However, here no one even listened to him: everyone sharply turned their gazes to the trembling little girl.
Unfortunately, this attitude was not unusual for her. Yes, it is understandable - the Clovers did not like foreigners, but for a four-year-old child it was very difficult to withstand such pressure.
- I w-wanted ... - the baby began quietly. - …to tell…
- What? - asked Novachrono.
- Knights-magicians, after all, first of all, assistants and only then warriors, right?
It seems to be a simple phrase, but what effect it had on Julius! At that moment, he thought: "really, the mouth of a baby speaks the truth!"
- Shut up, stranger, they didn't give you your word! - the redhead got angry, offended that he was interrupted. To which he immediately received a slap in the face from his mother, and then a reprimand. The woman, quietly apologizing for the bad behavior of her unlucky son, hastened to disperse the kids to their homes.
The captain of the "Gray Deer" shook his head and was about to leave, when he suddenly felt that his clothes were being pulled. He turned around and saw the thumb again. Now, when she stood a little closer, one could make out her, to put it mildly, "unkempt" clothes, disheveled hair and a filthy nose.
- What do you need?
The girl creased the hem of her cloak a little, and then wiggled her hand, indicating that Julius should bend down. Novachrono looked at the baby in bewilderment, but did not object. She began to whisper, barely audible:
- Could you see me off?
The captain of the Gray Deer was even more surprised!
- To carry out? What for?
- Oh, you do not be angry, knight-magician. - answered for the girl standing next to the old woman. - A girl and her brother came here to us, but he is all at work: where he rushes - do not understand! This animal has also been running around here ever since they arrived here ... - the elderly woman crossed herself at last and bowed and left.
"Animal?" - thought to himself the future King of Magicians. "They haven't reported this to the main headquarters ... I suppose we ought to stay here a little longer."
With these thoughts, Novakhrono took the girl by the arm and led her home ...
...
Well, have you already forgotten about him? And he had already managed to get to the village of Faber! Elbe walked a little loosely along the streets, between the wooden-stone buildings only 2-3 floors high. He could not find any signs of an attack: he could not find any scratches, no destruction or breakdowns, which means, most likely, the animal does not come to the village itself. “Perhaps he is whipping up the inhabitants on the outskirts,” Elbe flashed through his head.
- But you have a big village. - the hunter heard someone approaching him!
Without thinking twice, he ducked around the corner and listened. On the road to the outskirts of the village, there were two: a child and an adult man. Elbe recognized the captain of the Gray Deer at once, but he did not care about the girl at all. But this is only for now ...
“What is the strongest among the captains of the orders of the Knight Mages doing here? The task? Really, he also hunts the beast? " - the thug was nervous.
- Well, where is your brother? - asked the magician in a gray cape. - What is his profession?
- A? I dont know…
After these words, Julius became wary. Looks like he was a little worried about the girl.
- How long has he left?
- Hmm ... - she thoughtful ... - About two months already gone.
Novachrono's eyes widened in surprise: he looked at the baby with fear in his heart, realizing that there could be thousands more like her in their kingdom! And she walked with a light gait, full of hopes for the return of her brother ...
Having brought Natsuhi, and that was the name of the girl, to her house, which was half ruined, the man did not leave the village, as he had previously planned, but, on the contrary, decided to stay at a local hotel for a short while. Still, it's not a joke: who knows how many more people may suffer ...
Novachrono woke up not so early: at about nine in the morning, and then, not because he wanted to, but from a sudden noise outside. Without thinking twice, he dressed and with a quick and swift step went to the exit, where an unmeasurable number of fans had already gathered to gawk. Pushing aside the passers-by, Julius hurried into the depths of what was happening, where in the middle of the gazing lay a twenty-year-old boy, dressed in black clothes and with a mask on his face. Elb was badly wounded in the chest. Around him, in a barely noticeable whirlwind, swirled dark roc, particles similar to small birds that make up all the magic in this world. But what's strange is that usually they have only one color - white, the captain of the knights-magicians has never seen any other colors before in his life! Of course, the people around him didn't share the same excitement as he did, because they had too little mana to see these particles.
"Black ... from where?" Julius asked. - "It just can't be!"
“E...ars” Elba's whisper was barely audible, but Novachrono could still make out his words. - That girl ... - after hearing the "Gray Deer" fell into a stupor. The young man passed out and vryatli can wake up soon, but one thing was clear ...!
“N-Natsuhi…” The knight-magician decided to visit the girl in view of recent events. - Why did you and your brother leave your home country?
- A? I don’t know… ”She handed the man a saucer of cookies. He accepted and put it on the table, continuing to listen. - Aniki simply said that it became dangerous there, but why, I still did not understand ... - the baby puffed out her cheeks, lowered her eyes to the floor and raised her hand to her chin, thinking.
- Well, I'll go ... - the girl smiled, taking the rocker standing in the corner, and headed for the door.
- Wait a minute! Julius stopped her. - I will go with you. H-help, otherwise it's hard.
- Yes, not so ... - the fair-haired woman was a little surprised.
- No, no, you're a girl, and girls can't carry heavy things!
"You can't leave her alone ..."
...
- Here! See, I can do it myself! - The girl deftly lifted a bucket of water from the well, "hugging" it with her little hands ...
- Yeah ... - Julius clapped his hands. He tried not to show it, but it was clear that the captain was nervous when the little girl laughs so merrily and carefree, not suspecting anything ...
“Do I need to report this? Or is it better to deal with it quietly? " - the magician reflected. Deciding to write a report, Julius first called his confidant, Marcus, to keep order in the village and paid special attention to protecting Natsuhi. He suspected that it was for her that the mysterious beast was hunting.
...
Elb had been in the hospital for about two weeks. I did not even think to regain consciousness! While he was passed out, images kept popping up in his head: as if a tape had been inserted, but there were clearly gaps in it. But he clearly remembered that very night - the battle was clearly not an easy one ... Ears, more like a cat's, gray eyes and a distorted semi-human silhouette. The hunter has never met such a monster ...
Soryy for such an abrupt narration)
Night. Quiet and calm, starry. However, Novakhrono was in no hurry to surrender to the sweet embrace of Morpheus. He was sitting at a table in a huge luxurious hall, crowned with columns of the Doric order and pondering over the latest events, which had managed to stir up his imagination so well: on the one hand, he was interested to look at a new, hitherto unseen type of magic, on the other, “why exactly Natsuhi? "
This question still haunted him. "What's so special about her?"
Then a white flat image suddenly appeared over his head, which, in bright streams of light, scattered from the middle to the edges, disappearing. It was the magic of Marcus, although he himself, for some reason, was not visible. Usually his communication magic will display an accurate image of himself in a second, but this time it was different, which made Julius tense up! The window slightly trembled and blinked, and then disappeared altogether, after a barely intelligible sound of words came from there. The blond immediately stood up in amazement and, commanding the black-haired boy to get ready and call for reinforcements, instantly went to Cob (Cob Portaport is a spatial magician shown in chapter 113 of the manga and in episode 73 of the anime. He seemed to help Finral with training), so that he could transfer him to the village.
Meanwhile, in the settlement itself, something crazy was happening everywhere: Elb, standing on the main street and holding a barrel of oil in his hands, spilling its contents and setting it on fire! The people around fell into a panic and, shouting and begging for help, ran madly to the outskirts of the village.
- Ha ha! Right! Run, save your pitiful lives!
The fire was arranged by him in order to drive the residents out of this village before the beast, which was already raging in full force in the center, killed everyone. But now a dark silhouette has already burst into the local church! The long, long hair that hid his face hung in strands dirty and slightly scorched from fire. Bright gray eyes darting from side to side and curved limbs with claws. All wounds that would not have inflicted on him instantly healed!
"And how to fight such a monster ?!"
Elb threw the keg at the monster and threw a lighted match. The oil flared up sharply and the fire covered the entire body of the evil spirits, from which it began to wriggle in agony with piercing screams. But even the flame was not able to defeat the monster! It burned, but did not die! The body of this chkdisha completely recovered, even no burns remained.
"This is clearly not a regeneration," Elbe wondered.
Distraught with rage, the monster attacked the hunter, causing both of them to fly a rather long distance. Elb, before landing instantly, purely on reflexes, pulled a small dagger from the sleeve of his uniform and tried to get rid of the attacker by striking a blow. Surprisingly, it worked: when it fell, the monster recoiled from the young man back. Grasping the wound inflicted in the neck, it screamed pitifully!
"Here it is!" - thought the hunter, - "Weak point".
He was already preparing to strike a second blow, crushing! How suddenly I felt that all sounds suddenly disappeared! The flame that had recently destroyed the village went out ... there was a deathly silence. The beast writhed and groaned in pain. Elb just for a second looked away from her to look around, but, concentrating on his goal, he attacked and then the monster suddenly disappeared, and instead of him ...
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...
The hunter tried to hit him again with his metal magic, but a steel shield appeared in the stranger's hand in a strange way. Or rather, not quite a shield, rather just a mass of steel. The stranger passed his right hand through the air, quickly sketching some symbols. Suddenly the ground cracked and water burst out from under it in violent streams. It's just that a huge amount of water filled the whole area. Then it felt like the skin was colitis. A bright flash of lightning rippled across the water surface and instantly struck Elb ...
After what time a detachment of "Gray Deer" arrived at the scene of recent events, but neither the monster, nor the fire, nor that strange stranger in the silly mask was gone. And only the wounded bounty hunter lay, unable to get up, in the middle of the empty street, remembering the words: "Save me, brother" ...
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faemytho · 4 years
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I’m not really in the hazbin hotel fandom ((I love the show don’t get me wrong I’m just not in the fandom)) but I kinda wanna see what you mean? Also I figure you’re still okay with people shipping him just either the fact that people ignore that canonical he is aroace sex repulsed or use it as a “oh we just have to fix him” trope (which fuck that trope)
Same asker that admitted to not really being in the hazbin hotel fandom but liking the show- thought it over and i actually don’t know how you could do Alstser (can’t spell bare with me) without having him as aroace sex repulsed without having him look barely anything like the original- maybe apart from that fic you made a while back
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okay so, in regards to this post i made earlier about aroace romantic/sex repulsed alastor, that was a headcanon. (i said, and i quote, its canon bc i said so, but in reality ive fooled u all it was just a headcanon i even said so in the tags)
my headcanons aside, alastor IS canonically ace, as referenced by this tweet below (and hey, canon bi character!!! we love that!!)
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there is also a footnote on the HH wiki that says alastor is aromantic as well, but the footnote links to a four hour stream video, and i do not actually have the patience to comb through it to see if that's true or not (or if it even came from the mouth of vivzie)
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uh, yeah. here's the link to the stream, in case anyone wanted it/was curious.
canonicities aside, lets get one thing out of the way:
i am all for ignoring canon, using fandom to do whatever you want, ect ect, all power to the fans and whatnot, do what you want and be free because its fiction
which means, yes, i am 1000% okay with people shipping alastor with whoever they want! with angel, with charlie, with husk, with vaggie, with nifty, ect ect ect, i don't care, ship what you want, be free, live your best life.
my problem, though, is this: literally nobody in this fandom knows how to write an ace character. and when they do write him as "ace", its OFFENSIVE.
i cannot COUNT the amount of alastor fics ive read where he's supposedly written as asexual (and its usually even tagged in the fic tags, "asexual character"), then ends up sexually attracted to his given partner for that fic, and when they actually go to do the deed, alastor is infantilized to, well, hell and back. and by that, i mean a few things.
he either:
doesn't understand his sudden sexual attraction and/or sexual feelings
doesn't understand what's going on during the sex scene
doesn't know the proper terms for body parts and sexual processes
is HIGHLY feminized and is categorized as "submissive" while the partner becomes the "dominant" and continues on with the sex scene
not only is that fourth one misogynistic and homophobic (an entire other can of worms about how feminine sub/masculine dom in homosexual relationships enforces toxic heteronormativity, aka, the idea that one must "be the girl" and one must "be the man"), but all four of these together are aphobic when you realize, "hey, alastor is an ace character".
off my point a little bit, but ANY relationship (gay, straight, and/or otherwise) should not be using sub/dom as a model to follow - sub/dom is a BDSM kink thing; it should NOT be the normalized sex model for ANY relationship.
there's nothing wrong with kink! but doing BDSM wrong can severely hurt/mentally damage either partner if done incorrectly. normalizing it means that so many young people don't actually understand what sub/dom actually means, and even less the consequences if done wrong.
but back to my point: asexual people get infantilized. and we get infantilized often, because people think "oh, you're not interested in sex/you've never had sex, so you must not 1) know anything about it, 2) know anything about the real world and how nitty gritty it is to survive out here"
basically, ace people get treated like children. a lot.
here is a fantastic article that explains the rampant infantilization of both aro and ace people, and why it is aphobic to do that.
i highly recommend you all read the article, because it is fantastically well written and concise. here's my favorite paragraph:
"Society conditions us to believe that a lack of romantic or sexual attraction is a transitory period. This viewpoint assumes an inevitable progression from a nonsexual to sexual state of being that marks entry into adulthood. Similarly, engaging in romantic relationships is recognized as a milestone of maturity. This stereotyping results in the infantilization of all aromantic and asexual spectra people, especially those who are entirely romance and/or sex-averse. It also incorrectly characterizes asexual people as sex-negative, even though personal sex-aversion and general sex positivity are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, the idea of “being ready” to progress from friendships to romantic and sexual relations undermines the value of platonic relationships, which are integral to our community."
i'm going to move on to one more point, because i know if i don't, i'll get SO many alastor allo-pologist authors whining and screaming about how ace people can have sex too
and yes, here's the thing: asexual people can have sex, can want to have sex, can be sex positive... but that doesn't change the fact that to be not-asexual (or allosexual, if you'd like to use proper terms), you have to be sexually attracted or experience sexual attraction - WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AS HAVING A LIBIDO, AND ITS NOT SOMETHING ACE PEOPLE CAN DO/HAVE.
what ace people can have:
a libido
sex
sexual arousal
sex drive
kinks
a partner they're not necessarily sexually attracted to, but trust to have sex with them anyways
what ace people can't have (unless they're not actually ace and are instead allosexual):
sexual attraction to someone
wanting to have sex with a specific person because of this attraction (a partner, celebrity, people they find explicitly attractive)
still confused? don't be!
here's a post where i better explain the difference between sexual attraction vs sexual drive and what that means for ace people
to close this out, im going to attempt to summarize why im so pissed about this.
alastor is canonically asexual.
he may be sex negative, sex neutral, or sex positive; we don't know, but this is fandom and we're allowed to headcanon him however we wish - we can even headcanon him as not asexual!
which is great, yea, but when the ace character is the fan favorite...
people constantly and consistently write alastor as "ace".
which would be GREAT! if they ever did it correctly.
here's what i see most often. instead of headcanoning him as not asexual, they've heard something about how ace people can have sex anyways!
so for woke points, they slap their alastor ship/sex fics with the "asexual character" tag, and write alastor in one of two ways
uwu baby "ive never said a bad word in my life and i dont understand how the world works" asexual
allosexual, but call him ace anyways
both of those are aphobic. i have yet to come across ONE fic where alastor's asexuality (negative, neutral, or positive) is written, and labeled, CORRECTLY.
you know, it actually hurts MORE when he's written as "ace (actually allo)" than it does if people just headcanon him as not asexual.
alastor is a successful serial killer. he has spent decades in hell.
ALASTOR IS A SUCCESSFUL SERIAL KILLER. HE HAS SPENT DECADES IN HELL.
and you cowards are going to write him as inexperienced, ""innocent"", sexually uneducated?? i think the fuck NOT.
NOT ONLY THAT.
alastor lived through the roaring 20s. the flapper movement. the harlem renaissance. AND the sexual revolution of the 1920s. HE LIVED THROUGH ALL OF THAT. and you're going to act like he doesn't know what sex is?? we even KNOW he lived through all that because he says it himself, "i havent been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929", and 1929 was the end of all those movements and the beginning of the great depression - and then alastor died in 1933 after living a successful serial killer life in louisiana.
tell me again, why wouldn't alastor know what sex is or how it works? and if you can't, THEN STOP WRITING HIM LIKE THAT.
please please PLEASE educate yourself before you write an asexual character. ESPECIALLY if you're going to write them with a libido, and actually ACTING on that libido.
thank you.
sincerely, an exhausted sex positive asexual.
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onthepageoftears · 4 years
Text
Kill Your Darlings Ch. 8 (Jaskier x Assassin!Reader) || Witcher
A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry this is late, I had a lot of schoolwork to do this week :/ Also, I’m almost at 1k followers! Thank you all for following and reading and everything I really appreciate y’all 💜💜💜
maybe i’ll do a little imagine giveaway or something??? lemme know what you think ;)
Your comments and feedback are always encouraged and mean a lot to me!
Summary: There’s more to people than the sins they have committed.
Warnings: mentions of killing/kidnapping, intense staring, I dont think there’s anything else lol
Word Count: 2,339
Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!
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The sun had reached the top of the sky and was already on its way down by the time you came across the village. You counted approximately eleven times that Jaskier had asked Geralt to get on his horse — Roach — but to no avail. Now, the three of you were on foot with Geralt guiding Roach in front of you and through the village.
To say you were more relaxed was a bit of an overstatement.
Getting out of the city allowed your shoulders to lessen their tension, and you didn’t even mind that your hood was a bit further back than usual. But whenever you went into these villages, you were alone. You could walk around with barely a worry, the people around you not sparing you a glance. But now, with a witcher and a flashy bard, all eyes were on you.
By the time you made it to the small, smelly tavern, your ears were somewhat used to the whispers.
Geralt walked right up to the counter, where an older man was wiping down the surface with what looked like an already dirty cloth. The tavern had a few people littered around it, but it was still quite early.
“Got any rooms?” You peeked through the space between Geralt and Jaskier to peer at the man. He was frowning already — not a good sign.
“Barely. And definitely not…” He passed his eyes over all of you. “Three.”
“No, we only need one.”
That changed the man’s face. His eyebrows shot up, then quickly back down, a confused expression soon wafted away with a shrug.
“Fine by me. How much coin you got?”
This time, Jaskier answered. “How much do you need?”
“You bunch look like trouble.” He tilted his chin up. “So…double.”
“Double—“
“We’ll take it.” You shoved your way to the front, grabbing a bit of Jaskier’s arm in a pinch. He winced, turning to you with a hurt expression, but reached into his coin pouch nonetheless.
After he paid the tavern owner, he went to put his coin purse away, but you tightened your grip. “Actually, we were going to get some food as well.”
“We were?”
You ignored him and spoke through a synthetic smile. “Been traveling for quite a while. Food could do us some good.”
Despite his bitter tone, the man seemed to lower his guard at your change in tactics. “Could do us all some good, I reckon.”
“What’ve you got?” Geralt asked.
“Again, not much. But if you’re paying, we’ve got enough.”
You all turned to Jaskier, who still held his relatively hefty coin pouch. He looked back at you, and at the sight of your quirked eyebrow, he groaned.
“Fine, fine.” Again, he slammed the coin on the table, muttering as he put it away. “We’ll have that brought to our room, thank you.”
You flinched just as the man let out a cold laugh. “To your room.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his face back to a scowl. “What am I, your servant? Does this look like those fancy places you pay to shine your bloody shoes as you step into a warm bath?”
You stepped forward again, this time in front of Jaskier. The man’s scowl turned to you, barely lessening his glare.
“Sir, excuse my…partner. He isn’t right in the head after our trip here. Probably the lack of food—“ You leaned forward and placed a hand to the side of your mouth to block Jaskier’s view, “Which lead to a lack of manners.” When the man let out a dry laugh, you stepped back. “We’ll be fine at a table.”
“Sure you will.” And with that, the man shook his head and walked into the back room.
How these two ever survived on the road was a mystery to you. You assumed they had experience in small villages like this, especially because they traveled together often. How those trips went, you didn’t want to know. This was already toeing the line of being a disaster, and it had just begun.
Geralt took a seat at the counter, barely looking at the two of you. “I’ll wait here for the food.”
Fair enough. You practically dragged Jaskier with you to an empty table, not that they were hard to find. It was a weird time between the usual lunch and dinner rush hours, so not many people were accompanying you at the tavern. Either way, the village was quite small and you doubted it would be crowded in the first place.
You sat down across from Jaskier, keeping an eye on the main door. Even though the coast seemed clear now, you didn’t want to take any chances. But of course, Jaskier was there to distract you.
He was staring at you again, but this time with a small smile. It was infuriating.
You couldn’t help the sharpness of your voice, “What.”
“You know, maybe after all of this assassin stuff, you should be an actress.”
You couldn’t hold back a snort. But in an instant, your smile faltered. Rauf said something similar to you the night you got this assignment. The night where all you wanted to do was kill the man in front of you. And now…well, you were far from that.
You settled on a shrug.
Surely Jaskier knew something was on your mind; by now, he was used to the way you tensed up whenever you actually felt comfortable, how whenever the slightest amount of genuine emotion peeked out you immediately shut it down. So, naturally, he decided to push you further.
“Why do you kill, anyway?”
Your eyes snapped back to him. You supposed a question like this was coming, as it usually did. But something about him asking it was surprising. Like maybe…he was better than that.
You shook your head at the thought. Better than what? Every other person who didn’t understand the life you lead? It wasn’t uncommon, and it shouldn’t have disappointed you in the slightest.
But it did. 
“Why do you ask?”
“Well,” he placed his palms flat on the table. “I know you said you kill people who are…monsters. But…why?”
You reached for the knife on your wrist, dragging a finger along its sheath. “I was taught every person has a monster inside of them, waiting to snap. Some people never do. Others...kill their wives and sell their children. Or other variants.”
“Yes, I understand that.” You looked back up at him, where he was staring at you intently. “But why.”
His eyes were focused on you, and only you. It made you straighten your posture, roll back your shoulders. You knew why. Of course you knew why. And your first instinct was to just tell him. What’s a sad back story if it doesn’t get told? But your second instinct, the one Rauf’s voice controlled, was telling you to keep your mouth shut.
This time, you listened. “I don’t know.”
“Hm,” Jaskier sat back in his chair, continuing to look you over with his infuriatingly casual curiosity. “How strange.”
“What?”
“From what I understand, when you look at people, you see…sin. Monsters. But I see…stories.” His eyes shifted just past your head, focusing on something behind you. He jutted his chin out. “Him. What do you see when you look at him?”
You sighed, but twisted in your seat to look behind you. You assumed he was talking about the man in the back of the tavern, sitting alone. The man’s eyes were stuck to his glass, which held barely any liquid. He had what you assumed was the rest of his coin laid out on the table — definitely not enough to pay for more alcohol.
You turned back to Jaskier. ”I see a sad old man.”
“Right, but—” He looked past you again, this time taking in the old man’s features himself. Then, he turned back to you. “Look at his hands. Those are a poet’s hands — worn from hours of writing of longing and heartbreak. I would know.”
You snorted, but decided to let him continue.
“He was a poet, a good one at that. One who was just gaining popularity from the masses. He was striving— until he lost his muse. A terrible accident, I suppose. Perhaps in a shipwreck—“
You snorted again. “Or a bandit attack.”
He practically jumped up in his seat. “Now you’re getting it!” You couldn’t help the twitch of a smile as he leaned forward. “Maybe in his life he stole some things — a quill for his poetry, a ring for his love — but that was just one small part of his life.”
You considered the bard. His eyes were sparkling once again, and he smiled back at you with sincerity.
“Surely you don’t think every crime is inexcusable.”
“Of course not. But sometimes the…otherwise seen as, monstrous things we do…are just one chapter in our books.”
Just then, a plate of food was slammed on the table between you two — Geralt settled in the spot next to Jaskier, barely realizing the conversation he just interrupted.
But seemingly, so did Jaskier. His attention was now on the food in front of him. “That’s what 50 coin got us?”
Geralt nodded. “Looks like it.”
Jaskier only mumbled his curses, resorting to eating the food even though he was vexed as he did so. It didn’t take long for the three of you to finish it all, though you had soon found that your appetite was gone. Perhaps it was what Julian had said to you — though, you would hate to admit it, he often surprised you; where you expected him to be like everyone else, he changed his tune and left you…virtually speechless. You didn’t know if you hated it or enjoyed it, but either way, it made you uncomfortable.
You were all ready to retire to the room, but none of you verbalized it. At that point, you were just sitting there and staring at each other, almost daring the others to get up first. In your defense, you just didn’t want to have to spend another day holed up in a room, though you knew you had no other choice.
That was before the man came into the tavern.
He was distraught, to say the least. His eyes were sunken in, the bags under them showing he hadn’t gotten sleep in…maybe days. He was holding a small stack of parchments with a shaky hand, the desperation seeping off of him like the stench of alcohol.
It was a mistake to look at him long enough that he caught your eye. You turned away, knowing it was probably too late.
“Excuse me.” He was standing at the edge of your table, his features more prominent now that he was up close. He was looking at you with his pleading eyes, and you couldn’t help but look away.
Jaskier waved him off. “We don’t have any spare coin, good sir.”
“No, I…that’s not what I need.” You looked back up in time to see he was looking at Geralt. “You have two swords. Are you…a witcher?”
“Why yes, yes he is!” Jaskier perked up; his bright smile was unsettling for once in this atmosphere — it was the direct opposite of whatever this man was feeling.
“Oh, thank the gods. I need your assistance.”
“Sorry, can’t help you.”
You frowned. Geralt turning down a job didn’t seem normal. To be fair, you barely knew him, but still. You guessed he declined because of Jaskier’s situation, but then again, this man was clearly in a hardship.
Your own voice surprised yourself. “What’s the problem?”
The man turned to you again, relief filling his features. He reached into his pile and pulled out a single parchment, placing it on the table in front of you.
“It’s my daughter. She’s missing.”
Your eyes narrowed at the sketch in front of you. It was the same one you saw at Novigrad on the notice board. The young girl made of charcoal looked back at you with a sad expression.
You had to tear your eyes away. “I saw this poster in Novigrad. Are you from the city?”
The man shook his head. “No. I live in a small cabin just outside of the village, near the river. I’m a fisherman. My brother lives closer to the city — I had him hang up some posters there.”
He wasn’t from the city, meaning he was practically harmless. Well, you didn’t know of his past, but at least you knew he probably wasn’t an assassin.
You shifted in your seat. “How long has she been missing?”
“Around three days.” He must have noticed the tension around your table; his voice was at the brink of begging for help. “Please, I’ve tried everything. I...I don’t have much, but I can pay you.”
You bit your lip. It took everything within you to not jump on this assignment. If it had been three days, the young girl was either being held captive…or she was dead. But her father was desperate, like any good father would be. Even finding out what happened to her would be better than letting him suffer at the end of each day, not knowing why his daughter was gone.
“I think we can help you.” Your head shot up at the sound of Jaskier’s voice. Jaskier. Of the three of you, he was not the one you expected to want to help someone else. But when you shifted your gaze to him, he was already looking at you. He winked, then turned to Geralt. “Right, Geralt?”
The witcher grunted and grabbed the parchment that was laid in front of you. You and Jaskier shared a glance before turning back to him, waiting to see his response.
He looked up at the father, whose hands were holding the rest of his parchments with a nervous grip. “Where was the last place you saw her?”
———————————————————————————————————
Let me know your thoughts! :)
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escapekissed · 4 years
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Lucky do you have any favorite pieces of media from the psychological horror genre? Feels like its a genre that matches ur interests very well 👉🏽👈🏽
there are a couple that really speak to me!
first is rule of rose, which is a game that is incredibly formative to me. in a time where i was looking for representation as a young gay person and REALLY into looking up wiki pages for horror games, rule of rose showed me the symbolic trauma of puberty and toxic ‘love’ between girl children and the violence of patriarchal figures that i was looking for. it showed such cruelty but also such strength in its main character, and the symbolism? exquisite.... it also just has such a creepy atmosphere and the fact that the game is near impossible to play along with its shitty graphics for the enemies makes it so. peculiar and creepy in a very special way to me.
catherine is another atlus game near and dear to my heart, tho i dont  think i’m ever going to be playing full body for that exact reason. it’s a game basically about eugenics and misogyny, about gods&devils thinking of women as only reproductive objects and the men in their lives that ‘waste their reproductive time’ being tortured and killed for it, taking away a woman’s choice. i always thought it would be so interesting to do trans and lesbian takes on this game, and i have never really? stopped thinking about how this game is so thrilling in its themes of entitlement and stopping people’s freedom to love as they wish. this is also one of the only horror games in which the ‘human element’ actually interests me. so many horror games give u terrible people and i dont give a FUCK ABOUT THEM. but the way this game shows u just snippets of his life as a ‘break’ from the excruciatingly scary (to me, because time limits scare me LOL), stressful as hell puzzles. and u get to figure out the mystery of what is going on in people who would otherwise be boring to you, but in this game are shrouded in just enough mystery that ur actually interested in their boring day-to-day lives. its so satisfying just to drink with ur buds. its like really great gameplay to me tbh. i also just love katherine and catherine and they frusturate me so much and that’s exactly what they’re supposed to do which i LOVE. extremely effective atmosphere setting and worldbuilding, basically.
the lighthouse is my favorite horror movie tbh because it does suspense so well. the movie is literally themed around suspense, the suspense of not getting sexual satisfaction to completion, of being touch starved and lonely and repressed, of being able to hold ur boss but never kiss him, of being fed lobster but it tastes flavorless and bland and u can smell ur boss’s farts the whole time while he prattles on with disturbing sailor’s tales and barks out orders until he’s lulled into his drink. i honestly love this movie. and the acting is brilliant and unhinged
there’s a few indie games i really like that have been either formative to me or i just??? really like their vibe and i can basically tell from them i would like every game in the ‘genre.’
pocket mirror to me is like, this beautiful game about your own inner toxicity and escaping from yourself. i love indie 64-bit games like this, the background art is so beautiful, and while i’ve never played all the way through it because it scares me too much---i love ib and all the games in the ‘ib’ genre LOL.
doki doki literature club i know is a very strange game to like, but i enjoy it for letting the women be actual characters with their own thoughts and feelings. the pychological horror movie ‘i’m thinking of ending things’ is the exact opposite of this game.'i’m thinking of ending things’ is a backwards approach to feminist horror in my opinion. it’s from a male’s perspective of his hallucinations of a girl that once didn’t give him a second glance and his violence towards her in these fantasies. it takes itself painfully seriously. it pretends to deconstruct something that the director helped soldify (the manic pixie dream girl trope) in the public eye. doki doki literature club on the other hand, the passive character who ‘things happen to’ is the man. the active roles all go to the women in the game and what they do to themselves in order to be loved by not just a man, but the player, and in doing so they often become the all-knowing god of their own prison. like tell me that’s not the dopest thing u’ve ever heard of!
twilight zone is a big one for me but 5 episodes in particular have shaped how i view horror forever. ‘to serve man’---where the greatest, scariest thing in the world is not being able to understand the language another person is actually using and for them to manipulate u using ur own, actually wishing u harm as they placate you with your own interpretations. the episode where a rich man’s last will and testament is for his vain, selfish relatives to wear a mask until midnight that reveals symbolically how ugly they are to him. they bicker all night with petty squabbles, and then at midnight he reveals the mask has permeanantly shaped their faces to reveal who they really are and the abuse he suffered under them. the cornfield episode still scares the shit out of me as someone with an entitled younger brother whose entitlement and anger is often enabled by those around us, and i’ve always thought that it was such a good show of like, how patriarchy enables little boy’s violence. the episode ‘all the time in the world’ where an abused man with a shitty life is finally the last man on earth and he can do anything he’d like to do and all he wants to do is read but then he breaks his glasses. and finally! the episode where toys in a box come to life and bemoan their fate as they realize they will be trapped there forever in clothes and identities they do not recognize. these episodes always scare the shit out of me LOL.
besides that i really like. low-budget passion project indie games. the first that comes to mind is ‘the path’ which is about a family of four sisters of various ages all inspired by little red riding hood who stray from the path and are hunted by the woodsman. and then the game that YOU my dear myers! showed me! that haunts me to this day. basically a tape talks to you about the areas of a house and then starts to talk about the house as a living creature. and the living creature is hungry, without you inside it. the living creature is tired of being alone, it’s tired of being abandoned, it’s tired, and it’s eyes are empty with no one in the windows, and it’s mind is blank with no one in the bedroom, and it’s hangry there’s no one in its basement to feast on, to torment as it has been tormented by disuse.
last but not least, i really enjoy the book ‘sharp objects.’ which is not technically a horror novel. but it is about a serial killer, and about women and abuse and it has some of the best writing ever. so i highly recommend it AND the miniseries (watch the miniseries first then read the book bc the miniseries is like. directed better? but the novel is written and characterized better. it’s also very short u can finish it in like a day and a half).
honorable mentions for horror In General (not necessarily psychological horror) are: 1) the birdcage. i honestly consider this movie entirely unsettling. robin williams failing to portray a man that is actually attracted to nathan lane, which could be because they have simply been married so long but also is just awful to me in general bc it makes me feel like even our outwardly gay but still more masc gay men can’t love and be attracted to femme camp gays even when they’re married to them. the fact that both these men that could be so in love, that were so in love at one time, you can at the very least imagine, are told by their only son that they need to go back in the closet to impress some old ass republicans, giving the message that no matter how succesful you are in the gay community, no matter how bright and wonderful a presence you are, no matter how loving you are, no matter how much you love, no matter how interwoven you are in lgbt-ness, the straight people you love most will still try to change you to impress the wold. horrifying.
2) coraline. its children’s horror but that’s still horror baby! i think lately about how much the movie talks about mothers and birth. coraline calls whybie ‘why born’ and i just think about how much she thinks about creating a new life with a new mother, and how going through that small door into a long tube... it’s like crawling into a new womb and being reborn to a new mother that loves you. and that’s horrific from a feminist perspective in and of itself---that your child would feel so unloved and unimportant to you that she would literally... rather die in this life, technically, rather be ‘unborn’ to you and born anew to someone, someone just like you but better, someone just like you but what SHE wants a mother to be, feminine and skirted and smiling. and then there’s the fact that coraline only gives this up when she realizes her other mother basically wants to change her more to suit her liking in ways that would cause her pain, at which point she realizes this whole fantasy is a lie, not real, something meant to entice her and control her and make her ‘perfect’---the same way she wants her mother & father to be ‘perfect’ in a way that causes her to act out and hurt them. it’s psychological horror that’s technically not psychological horror in the best way, something you can really dig your teeth into, something that has so many layers to it. and the animation! gorgeous!
3) finally i have recently watched annihilation. and it kind of changed my life a little bit.... so often we’re used to viewing monsters as either 1) malicious or 2) romantic/sad/sexy. but the monster in this movie is literally a metaphor for cervical cancer. 
to me, the monsters and the corpses and all the beautiful scenery in this movie, in every color u can think of, a muted rainbow of flowers and nature at its best and most bizarre and sprawling. i often say that monsters are beautiful, but tbh, i feel like... somehow i always mean that in a way that is near-fetishitic, somehow self-depcrating way, where i want to consider what other people think is ‘ugly’ is ‘beautiful to me’ because what i am also ugly to other people as a monster to the cishet white patriarchy. there are things i consider beautiful, certainly, purely beautiful. but when i talk about monsters being beautiful, it is in the way the sublime is beautiful. it scares me, it haunts me, i love it, i want to possess it as part of me, a totem to carry in my back pocket to make the strength in my own ugliness stronger.
when i saw the monster in this movie (SPOILERS) i was immediately unnerved at this bad cgi abomination that bloomed from the most beautiul cgi cancer death cosmos imaginable. it scared me and i had to sleep with a light on for 2 days after LOL. but i was also moved by its gentleness. by the fact that the cervical cancer alien, when it tried to hurt you, wasn’t trying to hurt you at all. it was simply copying your movements. in the movie, it says that the creature wants nothing. it was simply copying. it was simply changing. it’s a prism of nature---and it corrupts yes, and it can hurt people and things and turn them into scary but still terribly unique and beautiful things that also kill---but the movie says that it wants nothing. it simply exists. it’s a part of nature, same as us, a part of the same universe and cosmos, despite being alien to us and stange and hurting us sometimes in ways that it doesn’t understand.
i don’t know. if i quite believe the movie when it says that, though. because i think if you copy someone, like a child would, you are trying to understand them. you are trying to understand yourself. you are trying to form yourself in another’s image when you have none, and you are failing at that, and hurting people and creating monsters in the process, but you are trying as best as you can to be whole and beautiful and sane like the lovely creatures you’ve met on this earth, or this body. to be part of something great and beautiful. to be part of another world.
maybe it doesn’t want anything. but do WE want anything as children, when we copy adults? why did the bear and the alligator try to eat our heroes if they were not hungry? did the bear and the alligator not WANT to eat? i think everything wants to live, and everything wants to grow, and if it can learn to live better and grow better it Will learn even if that is not its explicit intention. does the alien have feelings? does nature? do we have to personify things to understand them? no. does personifying things make us understand them less? no, yes, sometimes. we ask animals and nature to copy us, follow us, so that we can understand them better. the relationship in between----from the hurt, from the pain, from the droughts and the food shortages and the hurricanes and the fireworks---forms from our kindness and understanding. that our crops are useful, and the man-made mutation of our crops and the help of the ran and the sun is also useful. that our animals may not love us, but they need us, and we love them for putting their paw on our thighs to be pet, for following us into the bathroom even when we just wanted a moment alone.
regardless of its intentions, the alien, cancer, every creature, every human, they simply want to grow. in copying others---in trying to touch, to change, to understand, and be close---we learn to live in the same body, learn to live in the same world. the togetherness--the new sight the prism brings---it’s beautiful. it is beautiful to copy, however poorly. it is beautiful to try. we all shape others to our own standards---we sometimes forget we too, were made in own own perception of others’ image.
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theangrypokemaniac · 4 years
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its fine if you dont like alola but can you not make incest jokes?
I'm not joking. I'm serious.
Alola, or, as I prefer, La Boca del Infierno, ain't all sunshine and smiles as it pretends. Beneath that plastic exterior lies true darkness.
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What am I meant to think when I see this?
There's swimming pools bigger than the gene pools down their way!
Although described as 'twins', it's really triplets, but Lana suffers a prematurely ageing growth abnormality.
Children I expect to bear a similarity to their parents, but the moms 'n' dads ain't meant to look like each other!
Everyone here has blue barnets and Inside-Out Eye, where the pupil's the white and the white's the pupil.
Sight defects are notorious in the 'close-knit' communities.
Each insists on hair decoration, but it's almost part of their heads, which you can call bad animation or deformity resulting from too much intermarriage.
Momma's 'thing' just resembles lumps.
It's them space ticks at it again.
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Even the hedgehog is round in this house, which may imply he's an illegitimate offspring of one of 'em.
What about inbreeding suggests practitioners won't stoop to even greater infamy?
Stufful's dad never arrived did he?
Funny that, and a bachelor like Oakie-Dokie residing nearby knew nothing about it.
All that bathing in Cuprenol does terrible things to a man.
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Ever wondered what'd go down in the marriage of Tweedledum and Tweedledee? Well here you are, yer deviant.
A pair of pudding-faced, gormless Cabbage Patch Dolls, each with snouts, black button eyes and glandular issues, and they don't share DNA even when they do?
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Oh yes, Lusamine met a total stranger also possessing her lime pies and effusive mane of unruly, ice-blonde slats.
Total coincidence there.
He came to Alola, he says. On a prison ship.
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It's just one head in triplicate!
Oversized an' all: sure sign of genetic tomfoolery.
Dot Nose, Bridge Nose, Fish Eye: bloody serious case we have on our hands.
Now you understand why she failed to remarry: no other brothers cuts yer options ter nil.
Incest is of course, relative.
Whatever dæmon they worship, some are more pious about it than their fellow perverts.
The more dedicated the believer, the greater insistence on keeping things running in the family.
They'll show off their interwoven connections to the neighbours in a smug game of one-upmanship.
The more lapsed follower will tolerate copulation with distant kin.
These sinners are naturally despised and forced into menial labour, whereas the fanatics just so happen to be rolling in wealth.
Consider:
• Lana's family get by on a fisherman's salary, apparently.
Yeah, yeah, as if the state doesn't have to subsidise their medical bills.
• Sophocles don't go hungry, he has a lab, a giant hamster wheel, a portable hologram in a Pikachu, and he's so rich he not only had the roof fixed, but can move down the road in the meantime.
Oi! The rest of us get by putting a bucket under the leak!
• Lillie has every material possession possible, but no spine or company.
Oh the irony that top sickos should be so resistant to the lure of family obligation.
Hey, yer didn't say that earlier!
• Lusamine is fawned upon for her pwehshush research to the extent she can abandon her children, turning her daughter into a nervous wreck and her son a moody, absent drifter, and it's up to them to understand her work comes first.
• Mohn (by name and nature) fannied about with worm holes until he got sucked off by another dimension.
What did yer think would happen?
Yet on his return, is he knocked on his arse as he deserves?
No, because of incest privileges. The in-group take care of their own, and worse.
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Mallow's mater and pater both share hair, thick brows and close-together peepers of murky green.
The contrast in noses suggests something lesser than siblings, but then again other differing aspects are forgivable.
She is of a lighter pallor, being dead, and wanting an open coffin, had a shave beforehand, which is a frightening nod to morality.
Woman, are you ashamed of our love?
Well Abe went along with it, thus is also culpable of this grotesque bristle denial.
Being unclean, he's gotta cook the dinner.
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And this lot milk the cows.
On the surface, Kiawe's old 'uns aren't identical. You might think some heretical decency has finally sneaked in under the oppressive Alola regime, but it ain't that simple.
These people pray to a volcano as if an earthbound deity, so are nutters.
One aspect you must remember:
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Ol' Granpappy the Island Kakuna, i.e. a dried-up chrysalis.
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'Cause Pappy got Momma's tufts...
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And Dadda's humourless mouth, oblong head, straight-line nose, rectangular eyes and pin pupils.
Well that's not how it's s'posed to go!
I'm thinking Granpappy, as one of them there Kakunas, is in a position of power high enough that he's able to wilfully flaut the laws he imposes on others, like how popes had kids in the Good Old Days and no one took a blind bit o' notice.
He's a rebel I tells yer.
He don't play by the rules.
No sister-wife for him.
Not when he's got a sexy cousin a-waitin'.
A little bit of new blood's crept in, disgracefully so, that's why the whole lot's punished by living near an active volcano.
Surrender 'em to the flames!
Kiawe makes such a big deal about Pappy, and sod the other three grandparents.
Except he only had two!
What is the explanation?
1. Bone-idle writing team.
Character design is foundational stuff. If yer can't even be arsed to do that properly, nothing you do is worthwhile.
I mean, come on, repeating the same model that blatantly?
Halfwits so limited in imagination shouldn't be working in any creative industries.
I blame modern diets.
A whole generation's grown up timid and risk averse because they were taught to fear E. numbers as kids.
I make it a rule to suspect any sod unaware of the joy of a blue tongue.
They've never lived, man!
Where did you think it'll end when dangerous, pretend edibles like houmous, avocados and quinoa replace the wholesome, nourishing fare of biscuits, cake and crisps?
Stop toying with the fundamental principles of the universe!
The mess of the modern era screams systematic abuse of too much kale and not enough sugar.
2. Incest
Alola is extremely insular.
It's implied to be a tourist destination, but no amount of degenerate outside influence appears to have diluted the weird customs it still upholds.
They didn't even think of starting a League until Ash turned up with all his wild exoticism, and why's that?
A. Inbreeding has destroyed their capability for innovation.
B. Many thousands of years ago, Alola got well annoyed its dirty habits weren't exactly catching on as it strove to spread the Satanic message.
Thoroughly confounded in its plans for world conquest, Alola shut itself off in a purification ritual, which is why later developments popular  elsewhere, such as replacing beasts of burden with machines, never caught on.
3. Alola isn't Hawaii, it's a combination of Australia, a penal colony, and Crete, where lived the lepers.
Specifically it's a dumping ground for all the regions' sex offenders to keep their own societies clean.
Of course, the guilty took their nearest and dearest along too, since they were on the receiving end, and loved it.
This explains the large amount of foreign Pokémon, since the owners are also from abroad.
Now I think 'anging's too good for 'em, but these wet-willy countries insist on storing up trouble for themselves, for if cinema has taught us anything, it is that mutants will always escape.
Nature finds a way, however abominable.
Since so many on Tumblr simply love Alola, they aren't about to admit the slightest weakness in the creators' abilities.
Therefore, incest is the acceptable answer to all and sundry.
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blookmallow · 4 years
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uhHH well i finished rusty lake roots... there are still many things i do not understand but wow that sure was. a lot 
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oh. ohhhh i was right 
albert did get into voodoo
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i mean really if you have enough blood to write a sentence with it i think thats more of a “there is blood” scenario but i guess that’s just semantics really 
anyway uhhHHh that happened,
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oH god what the fuck ok apparently mary’s dead now too
i dont know what killed her other than like, old age, maybe. shock?? could’ve been a heart attack if she. saw what albert did to his brother and ida 
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:( 
the kid with the glasses Was emma’s son and she Did commit suicide in her grief when he went missing 
still dont know where he came from in the first place but nevermind 
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what the hell kind of egg is that (the second thing. the first thing is a potato) 
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oh
it’s. it’s that kind of egg, isn’t it. 
is that what that looks like???? i was under the impression human “eggs” are like, microscopic, like you can’t visually see individual sperm cells and i couldn’t really find a clear answer trying to look this up and got kinda freaked out about it anyway (pregnancy/uterus functions fuck me up sdfgggh) but 
APPARENTLY, AFTER MURDERING HER (AND HIS BROTHER) ALBERT HAS DECIDED TO HARVEST IDA’S EGGS FROM HER BODY AND CREATE HIS OWN FETUS SOMEHOW HIMSELF 
I DONT THINK THATS HOW THAT WORKS BUT UH. ALBERT???? WE NEED TO TALK 
god fucking damn it i liked him so much and wanted to understand him and i still think it’s heavily implied he was abused and/or bullied by his siblings and he’s definitely mentally unwell and definitely had some kind of rivalry going on with samuel, definite “wants what he has” situation but 
i guess “murdered his brother and his wife, apparently harvested eggs from her corpse to Make A Child With Her after she rejected him” is uuhhhh not really redeemable is it :’   ) god 
or im not sure if she actually rejected him or if he ever made any advances on her in the first place but. definite “she belonged to me/should have been Mine” possessive behavior ramped up to 11 
i still think he needed Help and maybe wouldn’t have turned out like this if he got help and had support from his family but my god what a. series of events that was  
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also this guy keeps showing up everywhere. i dont know what he is but i like him even though he may be some kind of shadow of impending doom or a personification of death 
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BIG fan of the implication here that i may in fact have been a ghost the whole time, subtly influencing the events of my own family destruction in an effort to sacrifice them all to resurrect myself 
is that what all this is. did all this happen because william was haunting everybody trying to get the pieces to revive himself. was this man willing to destroy his entire family line for the chance to live again 
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oh FUCK THE KID’S STILL ALIVE 
HE DIDN’T DIE IN THE WELL HE’S JUST BEEN LIVING DOWN THERE THIS WHOLE TIME. OK
how did nobody hear him calling for help or anything... 
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guess what
i fucking killed the hand again 
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apparently albert also knows about this??? and never told anyone??? fucking why??????? he doesn’t seem to be Using the dude for anything, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to keep him down here unless it’s just some fucked up revenge thing on his sister 
also i dont think it was albert’s hand that i stabbed Again bc he’s not bleeding when he shows up but 
is he the one who has been keeping him alive?? why. what purpose is served in keeping him alive if he’s not using him for anything. if hes just trying to get back at his sister why not just kill the guy or leave him to starve down here. Albert What The Fuck Are You Doing 
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hey buddy!!!!! its u!!!!
i was wrong it seems like mr. crow is not a voodoo curse victim but is actually probably the first vanderboom brother. the not william one. i forgot his name :’) and i still definitely think william’s going to become mr. owl
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i found this picture later (it was shown before but i didnt remember) (also has. puzzle stuff on it but anyway) its definitely the same suit thats it isnt it 
i dont want to go searching for the pic of the other brother and the one of mr owl bc ill probably just find spoilers if i do that but Hm. hmm.
is this how the revival ritual works. do u become a bird. is that why everyone else at the hotel was animals too
that would mean the brothers have already done the ritual once though and would’ve needed a bunch of sacrifices to do it before so maybe not 
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albert’s bizarre science experiment child seems to be living at the house now, which i was gonna say “how the fuck did he explain this to his family how is she just Here Now” but then i realized i think she and albert might be the only ones left now 
ida and samuel are dead, emma is dead, mary and james are dead, leonard isn’t dead but i think he might be... out fighting the war at this point 
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also that dog is still here and i didnt previously question why the cup was called “cup with liquid” and not “water” and i really, really wish i didnt know the answer to that mystery 
try to guess how this dog provided liquid. the answer is not blood 
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rose helped frank get out of the well, not sure if she knew why he was down there in the first place or that he’s her cousin, and. well 
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:( 
sorry things had to be this way, bud
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digs up my entire family’s remains to make one hell frankenstein skeleton
sure 
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o fuck i did it i got all the things
i like how some of these are like “gouge out an eyeball” and then there’s like “cut off some hair” 
some of this family suffered more than others for this ritual, shall we say
theres probably Reasons for each of the parts though like, frank’s hair grew super long from his years in the well, so while the removal of a lock of hair itself wasn’t really a Sacrifice/suffering on his end its symbolic of what he went through
william’s the one being revived so it makes sense to use his heart
eyes could be... Too Late To See The Truth about albert or something, ida was a fortune teller so, Inner Sight or w/e, also a pair of eyes taken from a couple
emma died from her grief so we have her tears
james... died from drinking the elixir? so indirectly his tongue could symbolize that?? i guess???
rose means red, she was born through murder, she got her bio mother’s red hair, we have her blood 
albert could be seen as a mastermind behind a lot of these events, and a lot of this was caused by the mental illness he never got help for, so we have his brain
leonard lost his foot in the war
the only one i cant figure out is mary’s teeth, i have no idea what that one could mean unless she Did die of old age and “teeth falling out” is meant to symbolize that
theres.... three teeth and she had three children? i have no idea 
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anyway DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL 
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hm. unpleasant 
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the other brother Confirmed to be mr. crow but its still possible mr. owl is Not in fact william but he could be talking about future william when he Becomes mr. owl, maybe 
this is such a mess ok so william was reborn as a baby, the grandchildren looked like they were consumed by the roots but we see rose holding the baby so at least she’s still alive (and probably the boys too if she is) 
and this process also created the seed which planted the tree so... william’s death and subsequent rebirth also created the family tree?? i guess?? so his family was brought to ruin one by one possibly through him influencing events from beyond the grave, all to revive him, which started the family in the first place, and there’s definitely a lot of... “all time is one/timelines can be altered” not direct Time Travel but just sort of. time as a nonlinear web that the original vanderboom brothers seem able to transcend 
hm! hm. theres still. so much i dont understand but i have at least one more game left im not sure if the other things in the bundle are related to rusty lake or just other things by the same developers 
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Rant about ur fav superhero ready go
Okay so like I have a lot of favorite superheroes loool but thank you so so much for this Alyssa I adore you I CRI
Before we start I believe it is my civic duty to inform you that when Animated BatmanTM (aka. superior batman) walks in the batsuit the cape falls around him and he just kinda shuffles across the floor and it’s the cutest thing my eyes ever done did seen
okay so Imma pick batman cuz i was recently reading a batman comic. I feel like sometimes batman gets flack and like yeah no one is perfect but a lot of times it’s because batman is written incorrectly. But thankfully whatever version of him I don’t like I get to write off lol because superhero canon is so weird. 
I wanna do a full analysis of batman some time but I think what originally drew me to the character is that he’s like the emo dude dressed like a bat, something that I feel is normally reserved for villains? Like the darkness-coded character was the good guy. That was so cool to me. He’s an amazing detective, he is incredibly smart and resilient, and he helps people not just as Batman but also Bruce Wayne. 
What sticks out to me about Bruce is that not only does he have his strict no-kill rule (COUGH COUGH BATMAN V SUPERMAN U GOT THAT WRONG) but he also is the type of guy that genuinely cares and will try to save even villains. And like not just save them from falling, like he will try to help them get back on their feet and stop following a life of crime. 
He has like a huge heckin family because he adopted so many kids but not only is that adorable because he’s the orphan who lost his family who finds them a family but he also makes a new family for himself. He trains the robins and tries to be there for them so that they never feel the same way he did, which is kinda his whole mission.
Everyone makes jokes about his parents dying, but the thing is as an eight y.o. kid that would be extremely traumatizing, no wonder he’s so messed up. You see your parents gunned down for no reason, and then you’re all alone in the ally. Not knowing if the dude is gonna come after you next, and you cant do anything, the two people you’ve always believed would protect you from anything are dead, and you saw it happen. 
Bruce runs away from home, from his past, from Gotham. He doesn’t want to be found. But he chooses to come back. Because he doesn’t want anyone to go through what he did- he fights for those scared lonely kids left on the street alone. Side note, I also love how sweet Bruce is to kids, like here’s this big hulking shadow of a man dressed like a BAT and he’ll kneel down and try to calm some poor kid down and distract them from what they’re going through, or write that he likes some kid’s drawings of him. 
Also, Bruce is heckin dramatic . Like SO DRAMATIC I love it. He makes everything bat themed because he understands branding. He fights silently but then he will make these really dumb snarky jokes and I love him for it. Also he some how always gets the upper hand on other people, like he’s so freaking smart. Like he can genuinely freak people out and outsmarts em. And I love how he’ll appear out of nowhere and scare the crap out of people lol. Also, the dude just has PRESENCE. And if you hurt someone he’s comin for your butt.
He’s also really really bad at communicating and getting across his emotions, like he’d rather jump out a window than confess he cares about someone. Like. Which is bad cuz sometimes his kids need to hear that, but I also think that they kinda know. Bruce will literally go to the ends of the UNIVERSE for the people he cares about, and I honestly think he’s a really emotional guy he just has no clue how to express his emotions. Like he comes off super grumpy but idk. I think it’s kinda funny.  
And like always, he’s always a hoe for self sacrifice. Like Bruce. Stop. I know you have a death wish. But maybe don’t be so gun-ho about it. 
 I just love the concept of Batman. Just this dude. Runnin’ round the city. Chasing baddies. Ordered coffee where you work last week at 2am. Gave you a crazy big tip. He has like 50 children, and a really sick car. Oh also there’s this Bruce Wayne dude that is a rich orphan who also has coincidentally 50 kids, and he’s like such a himbo but you love him and sometimes he really pulls out some sick burns???
 I feel I’m missing so much but thank you for the ask, this was so much fun. Love you Alyssa <3
(included are. some short clips of why I love Bats. You will notice none of them are from the Dark Knight trilogy, and while I am grateful to those movies for getting me into batman, they do not do him justice. At all.)
Batman and Ace
(if you want them. just batman best moments on youtube itll pop up) (there’s literally so many)
ALSO THERES THIS ONE TIME THAT WONDER WOMAN TRIES TO SAVE THIS TOWN FROM LIKE A FALLING PILLAR OR SMTHN I DONT REMEMBER AND SHE LIKE GETS CRUSHED UNDER IT STOPPING IT AND BATS IS THE FIRST TO RUN OUT AND HES LIKE TRYING TO DIG AND PULL HER OUT like this dude is the weakest one of the justice league yet he’s always trying to help and somehow he always manages to keep up AND HES LIKE FRANTIC and Supes tells him they can’t get her out and he looks so freaking upset but then she lifts up the pillar thing and reveals herself to be okay and everyones so happy and she’s like :))))) “YOURE VILLAGE IS SAVED” and goes and stands by the other heroes. and . when she does. she looks down and sees Bats’ muddy gloves and smiles and he like quick hides them under his cape I just-
The Justice League animated show made me a WonderBat shipper okay and it’s never gonna go away 
okay I’m finally done thank you for the ask ILY
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likeaflowingwind · 4 years
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[An Unimportant List of Unimportant Person]
Writing Challenge #3 - Way(s) to Win My Heart
Had so many [dead]lines this past two weeks, i didn't have time to update my page, which is actually fine since i don’t have any readers except my bestie (shout out to Vq! Luvya!). Can we continue this stuff, even if I have already failed the challenge? Yea we should. I still want to do it anyway. Who made the challenge? Me. Who decide whether we should stop or keep going? Me.
So-
Way(s) to Win My Heart.
No one's gonna read this I guess, but FYI, these are the things that (probably) make me think and be sure that "this person is something, guess i can finally give the most essential thing in my live : my heart. my world. everything.". (p.s : those are the only thing left, if you expect more, find someone else.)
1. I'll be jump over you, without even thinking about it twice or a hundred times, if you have the same music taste with me. Don't worry. I enjoy almost all genres of music, from rock, pop, ballad, indie, 90s 80s, sobat ambyar, dangdut, k-pop, j-pop, anything (even Nissa Sabyan's). As long as my ear can "accept" the melody, everything can possibly be my favorite. So, recommend me any good music! I'd like to listen to your playlist :)
2. I like "act" more than "words". The guy who doesn't usually talk much, but rather do it right away. Those who dont necessarily say "i love you" in front of my eyes, but rather shows me that he cares, that I meant a lot for his live. And, you know, since I have the so-called "existensial crisis" (which often makes me think I dont belong for anyone, my live will never be important for any people in this world), I'll be glad if he shows me how to make me feel, at least, more confident about my presence. "My happiness depends on your smile." will be the most beautiful grace i have ever received, if i had one.
3. A strong believer who NEVER EVER EVER think that he is the perfect version of human being and everyone is just a sinner. The man who, at one hand, patiently shows me which way to go, but on the other hand is also respect my decision if I think "this one's not right in my heart". If I need time to figure out the truth, I'd be glad if he can give me space and freedom to think.
4. BE MINE IF YOU LOVE CATS! No, but seriously. I met someone, once, who really loves cat. His eyes sparks joy every time he meets random stray cats out there, and believe me, it was... beautiful.
Also, some of my friend will send me some cute cat's pictures when I said "im tired.", "im angry.", or (the very usual one) "im sad." I really appreciate that, for sure.
5. Some people might be happy if someone said "you look gorgeous today!" or "your smile is beautiful!" or "i love your hair!". Instead of those compliments, I'd be more -on the top of the world kinda feeling- if someone said, "You look happier."
In my age, trust me, it's soooooo damn hard just to be happy. I could laugh on jokes without even remember anything about it on the other night. I'd smile everytime my cats give me their cute habit, but when they fall asleep, I'd be back to my 'usual feeling'. Weird, isnt it? I dont know how to win my heart over this. You want to try?
6. I usually attracted (EASILY) to the person who is more knowledgeable than good-looking. Being knowledgeable doesnt mean you have to know everything, any ideas, any theories, any kind of jokes, arts or even political things, in this world. I'd like to see someone's point of view over something and have this meaningful discussion that give me insights and inspirations. I've met someone with this criteria, once. I fell for him a few seconds after he opened his mouth, talking about his college stuff, which made me think "i should be as good as him, someday." Unfortunately, it didnt work cause we have a different nationality and belief. ANYWAY. I needed approximately 6 months to move on, and now, everything is fine. 
7. When someone shows his/her love to kids, I don’t know, it is just.. adorable, beautiful, cute, and cool at the same time. Honestly, i dont really like kids. I love my little brother and that’s all. Some kids are just noisy and full of excitement, which, not really my personal preference lol since i hate noises (it makes my head get dizzy). BUT if you like children, and the most importantly you care them with all your heart, you know how to make them happy, I’d be thinking about being your partner of life forever! I swear.
8. My world will probably be different from anyone else’s. You will never know whats going on inside my head. I wont ever force someone to agree with everything that comes from my perspective, instead, i want him to understand that this is me and these are my thoughts. To win my heart, you have to bare with me and every random things come up from my mind. 
9. ... (akan di update setiap menemukan ide) wkwk
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mafiamamaj · 5 years
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Here's an Endgame fix-it I would love but don't have the patience to write.
So, Steve goes back in time. Everybody's all pissed because its so out of character, and why is Peggy worth more than Tony or Bucky, all that. But, hear me out.
Steve goes back and the first thing he does is find Peggy and Howard. Convince them its really him, somehow get them to believe the time travel nonsense, all that. They play it up like he survived the crash and found his way home because it's only been like, a week, if that, since the Valkryie went down.
Steve gets Howard and Peggy to help him look for Bucky. He has a vague idea of where he should be at this point, but no solid details, so it takes a little while. This derails any interest Howard had in the Manhattan Project, especially since Steve is Very Vocal about his hatred of the idea.
(Now, I dont have the knowledge to even begin to theorize what would have happened in a reality where Steve Rogers was around to Loudly and Publicly as Captain America declare his disapproval of something as huge and significant as the Manhattan Project. For the sake of my brain, we are going to say that they met a lot more resistance than they otherwise would have, but it still happened because the American Government is awful.)
They find Bucky within a few years of Steve's crash and survival. Obviously he's still all kinds of fucked up because of torture, experimentation, cryo, etc. But 5-6 years is a whole he'll of a lot different than 70+. Shield still gets built, honestly Steve couldn't imagine it with any other name, but Bucky's return reveals that Hydra is still around and that Operation Paperclip was a bad idea (Zola). So they clean house early. Peggy becomes Director because Howard is to busy with his tech, and Steve and Bucky both said no. They do work for the newly built Shield though, running ops and hunting Hydra. They also might as well be married. Its still illegal for the time, so they're careful, but all the people who matter to them know and none of them care that the Captain and his Sargeant are doing the horizontal mambo.
Steve was friends with Tony, even if it didn't work out that well. And for all their differences, well earned and understandable, Tony and Howard had a lot more in common than Tony would ever want to admit. So Steve learns from the mistakes he made with Tony, and keeps Howard from turning into the monster he was in Tony's memories.
He mother hen's Howard into drinking less, drags him out to socialize more(Bucky is a huge help with that), calls him out when he's being a dick, and puts him in his place when his ego, or his head, gets too big for his britches.
Howard gets Steve to actually sell his art, builds him neat gadgets and armor, teases him to no end about Bucky, and is consistently endangering both of their lives on his never ending quest to get Steve drunk. (Bucky might have more sense than both of them, but he's also an adrenaline junkie with a hard-on for mechanical anything, so he is no help whatsoever and Peggy constantly despaired that the fate of the world lies with these overgrown children.)
When Howard marries Maria, Steve stands up for him at the wedding. The first time Howard made Maria cry because he ignored her/forgot something important/said something mean without meaning too, Steve beat him over the head and gave him a Captain America lecture, made Howard bake an apology cake himself, then dragged Howard back to Stark manner to apologize. The second time it happened, Bucky showed up in whatever place Howard had fallen asleep, dressed in full combat gear, cussed him out in Russian and threatened to shoot him. The third and last time it happened, Peggy showed up in Howard's lab, had him tied up before he even new she was there, and calmly informed him of exactly how she would torture him into a slow and agonizing death, as well as how exactly, she would get away with it.
Howard still forgot things, and could be careless with his time, but they never let him get bad, never let him forget how much he Did Not deserve Maria. And when Tony was born they were there for him. Steve refused to let Howard ignore his son, dragged him (figuratively) the first time Howard showed any sign of jealousy towards Tony. It wasn't perfect, nothing could be. But this Tony would grow up with a bumbling inventor of a father who was only forgetful and easily distracted, rather than an alcholic with a mean streak. He would have a mother who wasn't afraid of her husband and would love him even if she didn't always understand him.
He would have a godfather, his Uncle Steve, who would teach him to fight, to stand up for what was right no matter what, who would play games with him, paint with him, love him.
He would have his Uncle Bucky, who would share his interest in all things mechanical, would listen to music with him, take apart and build machines with him, teach him dirty jokes and play pranks on his Dad or Uncle Steve, who would listen to all of his ideas and tell him he could do anything.
He would have his godmother, Aunt Peggy, who would teach him how to play the game that is high society, would teach him how to charm the socks (rather pants) off of anyone, male, female, or otherwise, who would help him when emotions got to difficult, or people didn't make sense the way he thought they should.
Steve would find the others too. Phil did alright on his own, but everyone else...
Shield would be looking for the Red Room from the start. Maybe they find Natasha as a child, or a teenager, but they would find her, because Steve would want to save her after all the times she saved him. She would get placed with a loving family, probably a shield agent and their spouse. She would have therapy, but even a couple of years with the Red Room would mess her up. She would eventually end up an agent herself, still the Black Widow, just a little less damaged. A hero because she wants to be, knows what it means to be saved by one, rather than a way to repent and repay the lives that she took.
They would find Clint probably around the time Barney and Trickshot turned on him, before he had a chance to start on his mercenary career. Therapy, maybe a shield agent foster parent for a year or two depending on his age. They would make no secret about recruiting him, but he would jump at it. Nat would probably already be there, and nothing would stop that friendship. Coulson is probably a few years ahead of them, though not many, and if there is anyone who could reign in Hawkeye, even a slightly less damaged version, it would be Phil Coulson.
Tony meets Bruce. Howard takes Steve's admittedly limited knowledge of Bruce's past and tracks down the kid. Creates a scholarship to get him to a private school and away from his dad. They meet at a Stark expo in their early teens and immediately hit it off. Bruce is one of the only people who can keep up with Tony's genius. When Tony ends up at MIT (sometime between the ages of 14-16) Bruce ends up at Harvard. They share an apartment, because the dorms would have been a disastrous idea. Steve and Bucky live with them because they might be super geniuses but you can't send two teenagers to live alone in another city Howard! Especially not when they have access to dangerous and/or explosive chemicals/tech!
Likely, Howard will still die at some point, probably from all the liquor. Fury will probably still end up as Shield's director because neither Steve or Bucky will want the responsibility. Tony will take over SI, but will still eventually hire Pepper, and eventually promote her, because running a company is never going to be his thing.
Bruce will probably still end up at Culver with Betty, if only because he's actually halfway decent at the whole teacher thing, and the Hulk incident will likely still happen one way or another. Having Steve Rogers alive would not stop men like Ross from wanting the serum. Instead of disappearing for years on end, He'll end up in Tony's tower in NYC. Tony will likely still be kidnapped, though he probably would not have the Obadiah Stane factor involved, and would still end up as Iron Man.
They would "find" the Steve still frozen and thaw him out around that time. Play it off like they found someone for Old Steve to pass the mantle onto. Give Young Steve a new identity, and a family in Old Steve and Bucky.
Young Steve would make friends with Tony, would have time to grieve his lost world without an alien invasion. Would move into the tower and mother hen Tony the way Old Steve used to do to Howard. Tony would not have all the Cap resentment he did in the original timeline, so he would get to know Young Steve as just Steve. Would be able to see him as an entirely seperate person from his godfather, because they are two separate people. Young Steve and Tony would fall in love.
Even if they weren't running it Old Steve and Bucky would still have a hand in Shiled. Would keep an eye on Natasha and Clint. They would have likely met Tony, Bruce, and Young Steve. So when the Chitauri roll in, the only one that wouldn't already be a part of the group is Thor and he fits in seamlessly. Coulson might still get hurt, but Fury wouldn't have to fake his death, because the Avengers would have been a team years before they were needed.
And when the time came to face Thanos again, they would do it as a united front, and they would win. Because together, they are unstoppable.
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pizzarollpatrol · 5 years
Text
Fic Rec List #4 2/3/2019
First rec list of 2019! As always, thank to all these beautiful writers for sharing. 40 fics on this list this time. If a link doesn't work, please let me know! I’ll be happy to fix it.  
You Don't Have to be Alone by @thottybarnes
Summary: In which Bucky Barnes, a soldier who lost his arm on a peacekeeping mission overseas in Syria is having issues adjusting to being a disabled man in modern times. You, Barnes’ best friend since childhood, take it upon yourself to help him the best you can. Bucky x Reader. —— Oh my god I loved this so much. I just really love your writing.
Safe House by @thottybarnes 
Summary: When a mission goes south, you make it a personal mission to make your boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, see the light at the end of the tunnel by taking him to your safe house. Bucky x Reader.
Peppermint Shake by @thottybarnes
Summary: In which Reader happens to buy a peppermint milkshake with a cherry and two straws while on a date with her best guy. 40s!Bucky x Reader—— I love this one so much, its so sweet and endearing. 
Hero for Hire by @delicatelyherdreams
Summary: Tired of constantly being sat on the sidelines for missions, Bucky Barnes deciders that he’s going to do his own hero work and office his services to the public as a freelance “hero for hire.” he expects to be asked to rescue cats from threes or help little old ladies cross the street, but he doesn’t expect to get tangled up in your life. He definitely doesn’t expect to fall for you either. But, when you’re a hero for hire, you’ve gotta see the mission through. Bucky x reader. Completed series.—— holy fuck. Y’all, if you only read one fic from this list, read this one!!! Oh my god it is such a ride. I loved this fic with my whole ass heart and I got so freaking invested. 
Touch me Tenderly by @delicatelyherdreams
Summary: You’ve never seen his skin, never seen his scars. He’s scared to show them, but maybe all he needs is to feel your tender touch. Bucky x reader.
Day Off by @softlybarnes​
Summary: Bucky really wants to take a nap with the reader, but she just wants to read.Bucky x reader. —— Holy crap. This is literally the softest thing I’ve ever read. This is my actual dream, I absolutely loved this and I desperately want this in life. I love how clingy he is and I love how despite how he’s touching her, its still just innocent, grounding touch. I love this fic with my whole ass heart, definitely one of my favorites. 
Sad by @softlybarnes
Summary: The reader, who has struggled with depression all her life, slips back into that deep sadness. Bucky is worried and tries his best to help. Bucky x reader. —— I was crying almost the entire time i read this, it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking
Sugar by @softlybarnes
Summary: Bucky survives the war and comes home just a little bit changed. His girl loves him anyway, and she knows exactly how to show it. Bucky x Reader. Smut. —— YOOOOOOOOO. Dude I just love your writing so much, you don’t understand the happiness I feel every time i read one of your fics. I loved this one so much. I love the way to talk to each other and how they carry their relationship.
Casual by @writing-parker
Summary: The reader has been seeing Steve for more than a year now, stuck somewhere between friends with benefits and an actual relationship. He wants to commit to you, but he cant let himself. You overhear a conversation you wish you hadn’t-learning much more about the way Steve feels about you than you ever wanted. Steve Rogers x reader. —— My heart BROKE. Even tho know you see how Steve feels about the reader from his thoughts, I still couldn’t help but hate him. God, this was so good. 
Give Him Back by @soopranatural
Summary: The Hulk is not an idiot, he knows when he is needed and he knows when he is not. Bruce Banner x Enhanced!Reader. —— Oh my god. ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. This is the first Bruce fic I’ve ever read and I feel in love. I love how you characterized Hulk and it was so sweet. This fic definitely left me wanting more Bruce and Hulk fics.
Firefighter!Bucky Drabble by @hootyhoobuckaroo
Summary: If firefighter!Bucky rescued you from a fire, realistically you wouldn’t even know it was him. Bucky x Reader.—— AHHHHHH I never even considered Firefighter!Bucky until now and I can’t stop thinking about it. I loved this sooooo much. 
Eggnog by @buckyforbreakfast
Summary: Bucky as a little too much and gets creative with the gingerbread men. Bucky x Reader. —— I know, I know, Christmas passed already but holy crap. I was not about to leave this fic out of the list. Its so cute, I could not contain myself.
Baby by @paradisaicsam
Summary: Different situations in which reader makes Peter flustered by calling him baby. Peter Parker x Reader. —— Oh i loved this one so so much. Its so sweet and endearing.
A Restless Night by @221bshrlocked
Summary: “My room is haunted, so I have to sleep in yours.” Steve x reader. Smut.
Things Change by @fvckingavengers
Summary: After completing a rough mission, Bucky and the reader retreat to her family’s vacation home as a safe house. Bucky x reader. 
Effortless by @supernovasandcoronas
Summary: “I’ll be right back” kisses: A puts their hands on B’s shoulders from behind them, where they are sat on the couch. He leads down around, while B turns his head a little, accepting the quick peck. Sam Wilson x reader.
Fresh Eyes by @supernovasandcoronas
Summary: You’re a pharmacist in one of the busiest pharmacies in Brooklyn. When some of the Avengers start picking up their medications from your pharmacy, you know life is about to get infinitely more interesting. Sam Wilson x Poc!Reader
Oxytocin by @supernovasandcoronas
Summary: Touches that may or not lead to something more. Bucky x reader.
Gentle by @invisibleanonymousmonsters
Summary: Y/N has never seen Bucky be anything but gentle and loving. It’s hard for her to believe her boyfriend was ever the world’s deadliest and most lethal assassin. Bucky x reader. —— Oh god, I loved this with my whole ass heart. 
Swipe Right by @avengerscompound
Summary: Sam Wilson signs Steve up for Tinder. When the woman he Super Likes during Sam’s tutorial messages him, Steve goes from unwilling dating app user to developing feelings. Steve  Rogers x Reader. Completed series.
Breakfast in Bed by @avengerscompound
Summary: Children really do change things They also have terrible timing. Steve x reader.
Dead Serious by @puppy-barnes
Summary: When you accidentally kill a man after a night with friends, you call your boyfriend Bucky to come save the day. Bucky x Reader. —— God, I loved this so much. Its so original and hysterical and I’ve read this so many times. 
Polaroids by @spidey-holland67
Summary: May gets Peter a camera for his birthday, ever since then he cant stop taking pictures of you. He always kept them in a box in his room, but one day some one finally finds them. Peter Paker x Stark!Reader. Smut
Sharing by @elivanah
Summary: Steve’s girlfriend finds out that Steve and his best friend used to share their women. Steve x reader x Bucky. Smut.  —— If this aint the hottest shit I’ve read in a while. 
What Feels Right by @waywardmoeyy
Summary: Castiel makes a move on the reader. Castiel x reader. 
Adrenaline Fix by @jaamesbbarnes
Summary: When you need to spice up your life and Bucky in intendedly provides the spice but also the comfort. Bucky x Reader. —— AHHHH IM SO SOFT YOU DONT EVEN KNOW. 
Lil Bit Floozy by @piscesbarnes
Summary: Bucky’s more prone to be responsive when you’re a soft drunken mess. Bucky x reader
Snowed In by @beckzorz
Summary: You’re all set for a vacation in the woods. A cozy cabin, a fireplace, solitude… Then a tall stranger falls through your front door. What’s a girl to do? Bucky x reader. —— Hannukah fic!!
Starshine by @a-splash-of-stucky
Summary: The starts feature in some important moments throughout your life. 40s!Steve Rogers x reader —— Absolutely loved this and shed a few tears by the end. 
Unusual Request by @a-splash-of-stucky
Summary: In which you dress up as a schoolgirl and have a threesome with Nat and Steve. Steve x Natasha x Reader. Smut.
How Long Will I Love You by @a-splash-of-stucky
Summary: Nothing Lasts forever, except, perhaps, your love for him. Artist!Steve Rogers x Artist!Reader. —— Just break my heart into billions of pieces i guess.
The Quest for Love by @sgtjbuccky
Summary: (Modern-Day!AU) Work has always been a priority for Bucky, leaving things like love long forgotten, and for him it’s no problem, but for Sam and Steve it is the biggest problem to grace this earth. Fed up with Bucky and his constant protests and avoidance of love, they set him up on a series of dates to find the girl of his dreams with the help of the magical spirit of December. Only for Bucky to realize love isn’t always found where one goes looking for it, but may be close by. Bucky x reader. Completed series. —— Ohhhhhhhh my goddddddddd.  The love i have for this series is unreal. I love their banter and playfulness and how easy going their whole relationship us. Its so fun and sweet and endearing. 
Say It by @sgtjbuccky
Summary: In where you loved Bucky unconditionally, enough to sacrifice your life for his happiness, now Bucky tries to save you. Bucky x reader. Completed series. —— Bruhhhhhhhhh, this is such a good ass series. Unrequited love, sacrifice and soooo much pain. Love this fic with my whole ass heart.
Already Yours by @sgtjbuccky
Summary: Bucky hasn’t had the best of luck trying to charm you, but when confidence finally washes over him, he makes his move only to realize is ain’t as smooth as he used to be, but that may not be a bad thing at all. Based on prompt: “You keep licking your lips and giving me that look, you don’t even know me, yet I’m already yours”. 40s!Bucky x reader.
The Three Times Steve Caught You by @bucky-plums-barnes
Summary: Bucky is back from the war, you have time to make up for. Sometimes it’s interrupted. 40s!Bucky x reader. 
Woman Like a Drug by @writingcroissant
Summary: Bucky thinks naughty thoughts and you’re not ready to reveal a secret. Bucky x reader
Out of Touch by @buckitybarnes
Summary: “I think i requested this one before but i really want this fic! Bucky always to goes to hang with the reader when he wakes up with nightmares because he thinks she’s always still up. In reality, reader make FRIDAY wake her up when Bucky gets up at night so she can comfort him and Steve finds out.” Bucky x reader. —— This tore my heart to bits.
I Just Want Attention by @buckysforeverprincess
Summary: You begin to have doubts about your relationship with Steve as he starts to pull away from you. Steve x reader. —— Oh fuck, whatever I had left of a heart was destroyed. 
Kinkmas - Day Eight by @beardandbooty
Summary: Subby rope bunny Bucky. Bucky x reader. Smut. —— Technically this is more of an headcanon/drabble (???) than a fic but It was too good to not put it on the list. Also, i love the term rope bunny, and Bucky’s last line in this fic.
Headcanon by @prettyyoungtragedy
Summary: Ask: “Being one of the best assassins ever known, Bucky lord to use his skills and stealth to get handsy with you whenever he can. He can almost have you on the verge of coming on the couch while everyone is in the same room watching movies and they never notice.” Bucky x reader. Smut. —— Also a headcanon, but I loved this a little too much. 
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unicornofdanger · 5 years
Text
The Girl from the South
Author’s Note: I’m going to make this two parts because I had an idea for it but then it completely changed once I started writing. I am very happy with how this turned out and I can’t wait to start the second part. I have always loved writing for Game of Thrones even if I’m not caught up with the show. I have 12 or 13 one shots that I’m working on that should be posted in the next couple of weeks. I hope that you guys like this.
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Masterlist & Prompt Lists
Game of Thrones Prompt List
Requested by @lxdyred
Robb Stark x Reader
14. “This isn’t going to be a war. It’s going to be a massacre.”
33. “I’m with him. For better or for worse.” “It’ll probably be worse.” “I knew that the day I met him.”
57. “Turn the pain into power, darling.”
58. “I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore.”
59. “Yes, I’m a bitch, but not yours.”
Word Count: 2,952
Warnings: Language, Mention of War
It was a chilly day at Winterfell. The cold wind found ways to seep through every crap and send shivers down peoples' spines. Y/n was bundled up in her furs as she walked down the corridor. She hadn’t been there long, only being married to the oldest Stark boy for a few months. She had just been in the North long enough to not enjoy the cold. Many people had told her that she would get used to the weather, but they were all from cold parts of Westeros as well.
Y/n was from southern Dorne, which was warner compared to its counterpart. It was probably all around better than it’s counterpart if Y/n were to give her honest opinion. Dorne had beautiful buildings, castles that towered over its many cities. When Y/n thought of Dorne she thought of color. She thought of the many different flowers that bloomed in the spring and how they were present throughout the summer. Thinking of Donre was thinking of warmth, of color, of the sun touch bare skin.
The North didn’t conjure such thought. It was cold and dark. It brought about weather that no one enjoyed, yet they stayed there. The North was a horrible place to live, people were able to find joy in it somehow. But Y/n wasn't sure that she would have moved there if it wasn’t for her parents. The North was cold and the people weren’t as welcoming to newcomers. They wanted to keep their traditions and beliefs intact and they thought that people from other parts of Westeros were a threat to that. That those people didn’t understand the history behind what they did.
Whether Y/n enjoyed her time in Winterfell didn’t matter, she couldn’t go back home. Catelyn, Robb’s mother, had made it clear from day one that she was to stay at Winterfell and do her “duty”. Y/n hoped that she didn’t mean just bear children because she did not want that to be her only job in life.
“Y/n!” Sansa called from down the hall. Y/n turned to see the oldest Stark girl approach her, needlepoint in hand. Y/n was glad that she was able to get out of that boring task. Her sisters used to force her to do it with them, gossiping about other girls their age the whole time. “I finally finished the fox,” she told her sister-in-law when she was close enough.
Sansa handed the piece of cloth over, Y/n took it from the girl, running her fingers over the little orange and red fox. In the center of the fabric was an orange and red fox that was surrounded by purple and pink flowers and grass. “It’s beautiful,” she stated, handing it back.
“I thought you would like it,” she beamed. “I had trouble and messed up a couple of times on the stitching, but I finally got it.”
Y/n nodded as the two walked down the hall, side by side. Sansa was one of the only members of the Stark family who treated her with more than respect. She treated her like a friend. Like a sister. Robb’s parents acknowledged that Y/n deserved to be treated well, but they never went out of their way to be friendly and welcoming to her. She would have thought that Catelyn would have since she was married off to Lord Stark years before. She was the only one who would know how Y/n felt. The youngest Stark boys didn’t really pay her much mind as they were busy with their studies or playing around when they were away from their mother. Arya... she was indifferent. She spent much of her time with Y/n, but only because she wanted to escape her mother’s grasp and Catelyn thought that Y/n would try and make Arya act like the lady she was supposed to be. Y/n never cared what Arya didn’t in her presence as long as it made the girl happy. And for Jon Snow, Robb’s bastard brother, the two never spent much time together. He was always keeping himself busy with whatever there was to do.
“What gave you the idea for the fox,” Y/n asked Sansa as they turned a corner, passing a couple of servants.
“Well,” she started, fiddling with the cloth. “Arya doesn’t care much for needlework, but you do. And... well, I thought that you would appreciate having a reminder of your home, your family. They are more important than anything else in life.”
Y/n nodded. Her family had been her life for so long, the day she left them was the worst day of her life. She had to say goodbye to her older brothers and noisy sisters. She missed sitting around the table at their estate, arguing over whatever her brothers brought up. She missed how friendly they were. They were warm and welcoming and everything that Winterfell was not. She missed their laughter and the competitive sword fights that her brothers would get in. She missed being around them. Turning a corner and seeing them there.
Sansa was right, Y/n did appreciate the little fox. It was the symbol of her house. It was the symbol of what her family stood for and no marriage, no union, would change the fact that Y/n was a Y/l/n. No distance, no weather, no man, no king, no nothing could change the fact that she was born a Y/l/n and she would die one as well.
At that moment, she understood why people of the North were wary of those from the rest of Westeros. Everyone held different customs and traditions. In Winterfell, the men of the Stark family executed those that deserved to lose their heads. That was one of there traditions. In Y/n’s family, women were trained alongside the men to maim and kill. They were taught to be more than just pretty objects that men used whenever they pleased. And that was their tradition. Because of that, because of her upbringing, her family’s tradition, people weren’t too fond of house Y/l/n. Many agreed that women should be treated with respect, but few agreed that they should be treated with the same respect as men. So, when Y/n first arrived at Winterfell, she always told people that what they believed of her upbringing was a myth. A lie made up to ruin her family’s reputation. It made it a little easier to adjust. Only a little.
“That’s very thoughtful of you, Sansa. And that little fox-” Y/n pointed to the cloth. “- shows just how talented you are.”
Later that night, everyone was gathered in the dining hall for dinner. Y/n was seated next to Robb, who was talking to Bran about he needed to work on his archery. The poor boy hadn’t been able to catch a break as Arya would always come in a shoot his target before he could. Y/n believed that he was simply nervous. Eyes were always on him, watching his every move. The poor boy only wanted to impress his family, yet there stares prevented him from it.
Robb turned to his wife, tired of fighting with Bran about his stance. “How was your day, darling?”
Y/n took a sip of wine before answering. She wished that he would learn to ask other questions as that was the only one he ever seemed to ask her for the three months they’d known each other. “My day was well. Sansa made it better by showing me the needlepoint that she completed. She’s a very talented girl.”
Sansa blushed, trying not to look up from her food.
“Yes, my sister is very talented with a needle,” he noted, getting a glare from Arya who was not talented or interested in needlepoint. Something that members of her family liked to point out.
Y/n returned to her food when a servant appeared at her side, handing her a folded piece of paper. She took the paper, thanking them before they ran off to fill empty wine glasses. No one seemed to care too much about the paper that was in her hands as everyone seemed to have turned the attention to some lord who was going to be visiting in a few weeks time. Y/n unfolded the note, reading what a was written in a foreign tongue. It was her mother’s first language as her family moved to Westeros when she was only a child. She grew up speaking it and that was often the language that her family used to communicate with as few knew it.
“That son of a bitch,” Y/n muttered under her breath as she stood from the table. The Stark family could only watch as she stormed out of the dining hall, unaware of what she had finished reading.
Walking out into the courtyard, Y/n saw a man leaned up against one of the wooden beams. The sun had set a few hours before, the only light being that of the torches that lined the courtyard. Y/n stood in the archway that lead out to the courtyard, observing the man. He looked nothing like any man in Winterfell with his tan skin and light hair, both weathered from the sun.
“And there is my lovely sister,” the man said, turning from the beam. In two steps her was by her side, trying to wrap her in a hug.
Y/n fought him off, to pissed off with him to want any affection. “What the hell is this?” she asked, waving the note in his face. “You can’t be fucking decent and talk to me in front of them!”
Her brother only laughed, his y/e/c shining under the torch lights. “Is that all you care about?” He walked around her, circling her like prey. “What they think of you? Are you ashamed of where you come from, Y/n? Who your family is?”
Y/n shook her head. Y/b/n was doing what he always did. He found delight in ruffling people’s feathers. In pissing them off, hoping that they would swing at him. He had a way of getting into fights and justifying that it wasn’t his fault. And Y/n hated him for it as she was often his target. “Why are you here?”
He clicked his tongue, stopping in front of her. “You didn’t answer my questions.”
Y/n rolled her eyes. She loved her brothers, all of them, but sometimes they had a way of making her hate them. “You want to know how I feel?” Her brother nodded. “Okay, well these people,” she pointed to the doors, “are who I am forced to live with, dine with, and be around until I die! The rest of my life will be lived here! I care what they think because it affects how I am treated, how I am respected!” As her voice grew louder and she grew angrier, her husband and his father and brother peeked their heads out of one of the doors leading to the courtyard, concerned since she hadn’t returned to her food. “I am not ashamed of my family, Y/b/n! I am not ashamed of where I come from or how I was raised, how we were raised! I am only ashamed of how others look at us, thinking that we are the enemy! How they treat us, thinking they know everything about us when they never care to even share a word with us!”
Her brother sighed, growing impatient with her. “Are you done?”
Y/n wrapped herself in her arms, cursing herself for not bring some layers with her. The wind from earlier had stopped but that hadn’t kept it from being cold out. Y/n had a feeling that the ground would be frozen, covered in a thin layer of frost, in the morning. “Only,” she paused, poking her brother in the shoulder, “if you tell me what the hell this is about.”
Y/b/n shoved his hands in his pockets and muttered to himself about how cold Winterfell was. Neither of them were used to the weather, but at least he didn’t have to live with it for the rest of his life. “The note explains it all,” was all he said.
Setting her jaw, Y/n glared up at him. How her brothers could be so difficult! It wasn’t just one, it was all of them. Y/b/n simply learned it from the others. “No. It. Doesn’t.”
Robb moved where he stood, walking over to be by his wife’s side. He was bundled up in furs, smart enough to grab them before he came out. “What’s going on here?”
Y/n glanced at him, not in the mood to answer his question. Behind him she could see his father and Jon standing outside the door, ready to jump into to the mess if necessary. They wouldn’t have to, Y/n didn’t intend to hurt her brother. Not yet, anyway. When her brother didn’t answer, Y/n did for him. “Fine. Maybe it does. I just don’t know what you bastards think you're going to accomplish with this,” she gestured to the note. “This isn’t going to go over well for anyone and I hope to the fucking gods that you did not come here to ask me to be a part of this.”
“And what if I did?”
Robb looked between the two siblings, confusion written on his face. He wasn’t sure if stepping in would solve the problem as Y/n looked like she was about to murder someone. She was showing him a side of her that he had never witnessed before and he was entirely sure how to handle that.
“You stupid bastards!,” Y/n yelled turning away from her brother. She couldn’t stand one more minute of the cold northern air or the stupid southern man. “This- whatever the fuck you want to call it- this isn’t going to be a war. It’s going to be a massacre. And I don’t want to be involved! I don’t want to watch thousands of people die for no fucking reason!”
Y/b/n rubbed the back of his neck as Robb and he watched her walk across the courtyard towards Eddard and Jon.
In their mother tongue, her brother yelled at her as she grew closer to the men. “It’s always you that has to go and be a fucking bitch! You know that! You seem to forget that we have no choice in this ‘massacre’ as our allies across the damn waters are waging this war!”
Y/n stopped dead in her tracks. Her family always found a way to force her into situations that she didn’t want to be in. Her father made arrangements with Lord Stark to have her marry there oldest child. That left her stuck in a land where she could easily freeze to death. And now this! Yes, it was customary to help one's allies in times of war, but at what cost. This fell onto Y/n’s mother’s family. If they had kept to themselves and learned that greed never got men far, then they would think twice about joining some war. They would think twice before dragging their whole family in it.
“I love it when someone insults me,” she muttered to herself. “That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore. Even if it is family”
Turning on her heel, she looked her brother dead in the eyes. I’m well aware that you have no choice,” she seethed in a language that the men around her could understand. “I’m also well aware that you have the choice to take a different stance on this. Because if you are doing this because that tyrant of a man thinks it’s right than you are not my brother! None of you are!”
Her brother was taken back, opening his mouth to say something but he didn’t know what could match her words. She was right. There were other options that still pleased their allies. But those options often went overlooked. And he had expected her to help, that’s what she always did. Her father raised her to be his right hand. To be able to take care of herself and lead armies.
“And, yes, I am a bitch, but not yours. So, don’t you ever come here and expect anything of me. Don’t expect my help, my respect, or my loyalty. I may have been born a Y/l/n name but I am no longer one. Not here, anyway. Not in the North. Not in Winterfell.” With that she swiftly left the courtyard, moving passed Eddard and Jon.
With the door shut behind her, Robb looked towards his brother-in-law who could do nothing but shake his head. Robb wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew that he had just seen part of his wife that she never intended him to see.
For Y/n’s brother, he knew that she would change her mind. She always did. When their grandfather came calling for help, the family was forced to do whatever the man pleased as he always told them that they owed him everything. Y/n would remember that and she would come to the family’s aid. She was right in the fact that there was more than one option on the table and that all should be considered. Y/b/n turned from the Stark men and walked out of the courtyard.
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Madness | Chpt. 5
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Requests are Open
Chapter Title: “Thunder in the Rain”
Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character
Word Count: 7,968
Warnings: angst (I mean, when is it not angsty?), new character alert, also some kissing :*
Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”
A/N: Y’all are my favorite people in the universe. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc. I love you all so much! Also, please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning.
Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)
As I walked away from him, a part of me hoped to hear some kind of regret in his voice or anything at all, even. Instead, I heard nothing. He was silent. Maybe I had to do what everyone had been telling me to do all along: let him go. In my heart, I knew what would have been best for me. I knew that I would have been safer and filled with less grief if I let him go and went to Midgard to be with the Avengers and her. I knew that she would undoubtedly fill the void in my heart that Loki left there, as she had been the one to fill it ever since he fell. Still, I felt responsible for him as well as the Nine Realms. I saw the damage he had done to the world we knew as our second home. His suit was black (the absence of light), gold (what had once been my favorite color), and green (his favorite color-the color of my eyes). He attacked the part of Midgard we had last been to together. It was a night of laughter and happiness for both of us and a memory that was now clouded with pain and darkness. He still used the daggers I had given to him before he left for a battle with Thor-a battle Thor talked the Allfather into keeping me out of, as I was still recovering from the last one.
A piece of me wondered if he had a reason. Maybe he truly didn’t care for me anymore, maybe he lied to me all those years, but for what? What did he have to gain from an orphan girl? He was a God, and I was just another Asgardian. There was nothing extraordinary about me. If he wanted to manipulate someone for so long, why wouldn’t he choose someone with more power? I had to believe that it was more than that. I had to believe that there was something else that I just wasn’t seeing clearly. He was still in there. The man I knew was still holding on and fighting back this new version of himself. I didn’t know what happened or what made him turn on me so quickly, but I had a few theories of my own. Perhaps he found out about my secret from Odin that day, but I still didn’t even know how Odin would know in the first place. Maybe he fell out of love with me quicker than I had ever anticipated he could. I didn’t understand, but it wasn’t for me to try to figure out in the middle of the night when I was still sick from the ale that evening.
I made my way up to the training grounds, casting the illusion just long enough to make it past the guards. Once my eyes were dried, I dropped the illusion, finally visible again. I lifted a dulled sword from the rack and walked over to one of the training dummies before taking out every ounce of anger, frustration, and pain on it. I didn’t need to build my skills with the sword anymore. However, I knew to practice regularly to stay nimble. Tonight, however, was simply to hit the dummy as hard as possible to make my muscles sore. I just wanted to make myself tired enough that I could fall asleep for the rest of my life, and if I couldn’t achieve that, I at least wanted to be tired enough that when I laid down in bed, I could fall asleep immediately. I didn’t want to think of his harsh words or the way he glared at me like it was my fault he fell in the first place. I didn’t want to think of the mistakes I had made or the grief I felt over the loss of a man who meant so much to me.
Listening to the loud crack as my sword hit the dummy over and over again helped drown out the sorrow in my heart and the voices in my head that were even more cruel than Loki could ever even hope to be. As I growled, I thought of every moment in my life that I felt anger, every moment I felt alone, every moment I felt weak. I thought of the night he told me he hated me, the fall, when I saw him on Midgard, when I left her, when Tony Stark shed a tear for me, when she cried. There were so many moments, but they all came rushing back as the wall I had built up to keep them away finally broke down and crumbled into nothing. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack and opened my eyes to see that my last swing of the sword had been too successful, as the blade lay broken on the ground.
“For a woman as peaceful as yourself, you sure like breaking swords when you’re angry,” Thor’s voice rang out from behind me.
I whipped around, surprised by his presence. I hadn’t heard him coming, and I certainly didn’t feel him because of my clouded thoughts. As soon as I looked at him, my mind quieted once more. He was a peaceful soul with eyes as deep as the oceans. He leaned against one of the pillars with his arms crossed over his chest. His robes cascaded over his broad shoulders, and he wore a slight grin upon his lips. I shook my head, dropping the handle of the sword, which would be of no more use, “I apologize if I woke you,” I murmured, attempting to walk past him. I was in no mood for speaking as my frustration had not been washed away completely.
He caught my arm before I could pass him, and as my chest continued to heave, he spoke, “you did not wake me, Lady Eva. I figured that after you visited Loki, you would come here,” he said, hinting at the fact that he already knew what I had been up to that night. My mouth gaped open as I searched for any possible explanation other than the one he proposed. Before I could lie, he continued, “my brother has been playing tricks on me since we were children. Do you not think I can tell? Plus, I’ve known you since we were children, and I knew you would go down to see him at some point,” he shrugged.
“I had to. You can be mad, you can tell the Allfather, you can do whatever you need to do, and I won’t be upset. All I ask is that you continue fighting for him the way I have,” I said, straightening my shoulders, “I will accept whatever punishment my King sees fit.”
“Your King will never know,” Thor replied in a hushed but stern voice, “I will not be speaking a word of this to my father. You did what needed to be done, something he doesn’t believe is worth the time or energy. You’ve looked out for my brother since we were kids, and I would’ve been ignorant to believe that you would just stop because of what happened on Midgard. You still see the good in him, and I admire that because I still love him just as much as you do,” he added, “how was he?”
I stepped back over to him, and he released my arm from his grasp. I motioned around the training grounds, “well, I’m out here, so it didn’t go as well as I had anticipated. He’s still hurting, and it continues to break my heart every time I see him. I can feel his pain just as I could before, but it’s amplified.I just don’t know if I can keep doing this to myself, Thor. I don’t know if I can keep trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. It would kill me to abandon him like this. His mind is chaos. He needs a moment of clarity, of peace, but...maybe I can’t give that to him,” I answered the best way I could.
“Who better to show him that moment of clarity than you?” he asked, gazing down at me with eyes that shined like the sun on my darkest day. While every other love I felt paled in comparison to that which I shared with Loki, Thor brought something else into my life, something more beautiful than life itself. He reminded me that life was not about power or status, it was about living. He had a love for all living things that matched my own, and I loved him all the more for it. Thor never pushed me away, “you have done so much for him, Eva. You may not think you’ve done enough, but you’ve done more than everyone else put together. You have sacrificed more than anyone else. All I know is that you need to take fate into your own hands sometimes. Maybe you find that you don’t want to wait for cooperation from Loki or the Allfather. All I know is that you have allowed others to control your destiny for too long, and it’s time for you to take your control back,” he added, “and if you need to talk or cry or scream, you know that I’m always here.”
My eyes filled up with tears, and I pushed them back, having cried more than enough over the situation. It felt like I couldn’t stop since the fall. It was that moment that I made the promise to myself: I would be weak no longer. I would weep over my situation no longer. I could mourn for the man Loki once was or give him no other option other than to accept my help. As my chest continued to heave due to the unchecked frustration, I grabbed the back of Thor’s neck and attacked his lips with my own. It was the only thing that felt right. It only lasted for a second before the shock forced him away from me, and he held me at a short distance. He cleared his throat, color filling his cheeks, “why did-what are you...we can’t do this when you’re still a bit drunk, Eva. I don’t know if this is you or the ale from earlier, but...you aren’t in the right state of mind for this right now,” he noted, chuckling to lighten the mood.
“Does that really matter anymore?” I asked, closing the space between us once more, and he allowed me, “I want this. Do you want this?” I asked, gazing up into his eyes.
He sighed, “you know I do, and you know I’ve wanted this for a long time. There’s a reason I haven’t done anything since we were young, though, Eva. You belong with Loki, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I love both of you too much to ruin what you have,” he whispered, his arm snaking around my waist, telling a very different story than the one spilling from his lips.
“What do you think you would be ruining? The rubble of our love? Do you think you can shatter heart we shared anymore? Could you kill a flower that was already dead?” I asked, realizing that, while I loved Loki more than life itself, he loved me no longer, “I will love your brother until the day I die, but he has hurt me so much, I think I deserve a moment of happiness. I deserve to remember the sweetness of love, which is something I have forgotten the taste of for so long. Remind me...please,” I begged, grasping onto his robes in a desperate attempt to let him know that I would not hold anything against him.
He searched my eyes for any hesitation that could have been lingering there, but he found none. He found only loneliness and grief. Perhaps he felt sorry for me, or perhaps he was giving into urges that had lain dormant since our childhood. Either way, he kissed me. I threw my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist, grunting lightly when he pressed me against the pillar he had been leaning on only moments ago. His lips were smoother than I had remembered them, and I could feel the areas he bit when he was nervous. As his left hand grasped my thigh, offering me an extra level of support aside from the pillar, his right hand steadied my face as he kissed me with more passion than I’d ever anticipated.
To my disapproval, his lips departed from mine, and he began to sprinkle kisses along my jaw and down to my neck, a place Loki always loved. As I squeezed my eyes shut, I forced the thought of him from my mind and focused on Thor. When he grazed his teeth against my neck, I arched my body into his, feeling a shiver run through me. As I arched into him, his arms wrapped around my body, squeezing me against him hard enough for me to feel every muscle and every crease even through the clothes. For the first time in such a long time, I felt small in someone’s arms. Aaldir, Hjalmar, and Loki always made me feel that way, like I never needed to worry when they were around. However, she had the opposite effect on me. I was the one to make her feel small, the one to protect her. Ever since her, I had not felt like the small one until now.
With one arm still draped over his shoulder, balancing myself, I grabbed his face with my other hand and turned his head so that he was looking into my eyes. I saw joy and desire and so much anticipation. I pressed my lips to his once more before pulling away and trailing kisses along his defined jaw and down to his neck. His hold on me tightened as I ran my lips along a sensitive spot. As I kissed him, he walked us down the hallway toward his chambers. He opened the doors with his back and shut them with his foot. When we were finally in the comfort of his room, he peeled me off of him and pushed me down onto the bed. I chewed on my bottom lip and laughed as his eyes scanned over my body.
Before I could react or speak, he joined me on the bed, nestling his body between my legs and proceeding to kiss me once more. As soon as I felt his warmth, Loki’s face flashed behind my closed eyes. I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, but it was like he could feel my hesitance. He pulled away from the kisses and pushed himself off of me in an attempt to figure out where he had gone wrong. I shook my head, trying to collect myself, but I was failing miserably. The promise I made to myself such a short time ago was already being broken as I began to cry, “I’m sorry, Thor. I’m sorry,” I broke down, hiding my face in my hands. I felt so much guilt in that moment, so much anger at myself for being so stupid as to believe that I could just replace the love I received from Loki.
As soon as I began to cry, Thor crawled over to me and wrapped me up in his strong arms, “I know that you don’t want to hear this right now, but as your friend, I need to say it,” he stated as my body quivered and trembled in the arms of the man I wished I was meant to be with. If I was destined to be with Thor, my life would have been so much easier because he would have loved me from the very beginning until the very end. I wouldn’t have felt this pain. Maybe I was just cursed, though. Maybe it was my fault that Loki was hurt the way he was. Maybe I was at the center of his pain. Before my mind could continue down the darkened trail any further, Thor spoke, “I love you, Eva. I have loved you since before I can remember, and I’ve never stopped loving you. For a long time, I wished that you chose me instead of Loki. I wished that you would find happiness with me, but I always knew that you two were meant for each other. Even though it kills me to say it, you and I don’t belong together. You belong with Loki. You always have. And I can’t let my love for you ruin your relationship anymore than it already has,” he said, grief clear in his deep voice.
I shook my head, wiping my tears away as I found the strength to gaze up at him, “you didn’t ruin our relationship, Thor. You had nothing to do with this,” I murmured.
He sighed, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
*Thor’s POV*
I had been more surprised that she stayed after I told her the story of that day, more surprised than I was that she didn’t try to hit me. Instead, we shed tears together, and I sat with her until she fell asleep. After I told her what happened and apologized profusely, she lessened my guilt by being adamant about how it wasn’t my fault. Still, I could see the pain the truth brought her. She was heartbroken, and she went to sleep that way. A piece of me wished I had kept it from her, but it had been two years of her questioning why Loki turned his back on her, and I knew the truth.
Unable to sleep, I found myself with Heimdall in the Bifrost. Though even looking at the Bifrost brought Eva a sense of misery, she spent much time in the very spot I was standing, and I knew that it was because the her fear and sadness over that fateful day paled in comparison to love she had for the Midgardians and...her. She asked about them often, and Heimdall would always fill her in on the health and well-being of each of them. She was always the most concerned about Tony, the two of them having a special connection that I could not understand. Steve also held a special place in her heart, which I could understand much more. He was a soldier and always put the needs of everyone else above his own. He didn’t like to fight, but he did so that others could know peace. Eva did the same.
As I stood next to Heimdall, staring out at the stars, I felt his gaze shift over to me for a fraction of a second, “you told her,” he noted, clearly having cast his gaze upon us when he felt her distress. The two of them were connected the same way her and I were connected. It paled in comparison to Loki’s connection to her, but we could feel when something wasn’t quite right.
I nodded my head, “I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t keep it from her any longer. She deserved to know the truth,” I insisted, feeling guilty that I brought her to an even deeper level of grief but feeling hopeful that it would help her see the truth, that she had done nothing wrong, “she’s become far more destructive since Hjalmar’s death, and I sensed that she was spiraling. She’s lost so much. She blames herself for Hjalmar’s death, and she blames herself for Aaldir’s sorrow. She blames herself for Loki’s turn and believed it to have been her fault, like she could’ve stopped him from wreaking havoc on Midgard. She had every right to know the truth,” I added
“You are not wrong,” he stated, gazing back out at the stars, “she sacrificed so much for Loki, but I fear that she will now try even harder to free him, even if it means committing treason. She has no reason to show the Allfather anymore respect, for she now knows that he played a pivotal role in pushing your brother over the edge,” he added, and I gazed over at his solemn expression. He lowered his grief-stricken eyes, “I fear for her safety if she tries to disobey the orders of the King.”
“You have my word that I will do everything in my power to keep her from doing anything reckless, but she has never listened to me the way she listened to Hjalmar,” I said, thinking of one of my dearest friends, “how is he?” I asked, hoping for some words of comfort about Hjalmar’s new home in Valhalla.
Heimdall sighed, “I...cannot see him,” he confessed, hesitant to speak the words to me. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused as to how the gatekeeper and the guardian of the Nine Realms could lose track of someone. Before I could ask any questions, he turned his haunting gaze upon me, “I have searched for him, hoping to regale Eva with some stories of him when she came; however, I have not found him. I have searched every realm, every planet, every moon. I have searched the entirety of Valhalla, and I even looked for him in the Realm of the Dead. Still, I have found nothing,” he said, turning back to the stars, “I suggest keeping this between us for the time being. There is no need to put her through anymore pain right now,” he stated, strongly.
I nodded my head, “but what if she comes to you and asks about him?”
He frowned, the mere thought of it bringing a sour taste to his mouth, “then I will be forced to break the heart of a princess.”
*1 week later*
After another night spent watching over Eva and getting barely any sleep, I found myself standing beside my father, the man who was the cause of so much of her grief. She knew it now. She knew what he had done, and while I was surprised that she didn’t hate me for the role I had to play in Loki’s downfall, I was unsure of how generous she would be with my father. The two of us watched her as she practically danced around the training grounds with Sif and Ephinea. She hated fighting, but there was a side of her that came out when she fought that I had never seen before. She was skilled in battle the way no other man or woman could ever even hope to be. She blocked the attacks from each of the goddesses, and the two of them pulled no punches. Sif and Ephinea never went easy on Eva, so for Eva to hold her own against the Goddess of War and the Goddess of Strength, respectively, said so much about her skills.
As gracefully as she blocked what would have been a “finishing blow” from Ephinea, she began to take the offensive, swinging the dulled swords and moving like the ocean. I had gotten the chance to see her on the battlefield so many times throughout my life, and it always left me in awe. She had a plethora of her own weapons, many of which Aaldir had crafted for her or helped in the crafting process. He had given her two short swords that she used on occasion, and he also gave her the greatsword she used most of the time. Loki had gifted her a set of daggers, which were delicately crafted but stronger than anyone could anticipate due to their beauty. She danced around Sif and Ephinea, fighting both of them and successfully knocking them down and finishing them. After her success, she helped them back up onto their feet before starting again. I glanced over at my father, “she has grown far more skilled in the art of battle than even you could have anticipated,” I smiled, gesturing to her.
He nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips underneath his beard, “if this is how you plan to sway my mind on the matters she has brought up time and again, it will not work,” he reminded me.
I shrugged my shoulders, “it wasn’t my intention, but it would’ve been nice,” I stated, gazing upon the girl who was so strong but so broken, “she has a point, you know...about Loki,” I murmured, wanting my words to be between us. I watched as his eyebrows raised in shock, which was understandable as I had always been fairly quiet on the matter, never explicitly taking anyone’s side, “I don’t believe you to be delusional, which is why I think you know-as well as she does-that Loki doesn’t belong in the dungeons. He is far more dangerous around people who think like him. His mind was corrupted far more after he fell. Even if we could get him back to the way he was before, when he was only trying to take over the throne, instead of killing hundreds of innocent people on Midgard, it would be better than leaving him down there,” I explained, hoping that he would listen to me with an open heart and open mind, unlike when he listened to Eva make the same case about Loki.
He gazed over at me, the icy blue eye as solemn as ever, “so, you are proposing the same thing? I release Loki into Eva’s care, knowing that he is a weakness for her? Knowing that she could never do what needed to be done if it came to it?” he asked, “I simply implore you to think through every scenario,” he added, sensing that he had offended me.
I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing that he was not completely sincere, “no, you are asking me to doubt her. You are asking me to trust her less, but you don’t know her the way I do. You didn’t see her on Midgard the way I saw her. You have no idea what she has done-the sacrifices she has made-for the good of the Nine Realms, for the good of Asgard. You don’t see what she has given up, but I have,” I growled under my breath, angry that he would try to plant the seed of doubt in my mind.
He shook his head, “I do not wish for you to doubt her, but I do wish for you to look at this from a place of objectivity. If you did, you would have the same doubts I do,” he replied, a voice as calm as the breeze that morning.
“I can look at this objectively, and that’s why I believe she could take on this task. While we cannot go back and rewrite the past, she can turn the tides in our favor. If she were somehow able to turn Loki back to our side, think of what our strength could be with an ally like him! We would be much stronger with him as our ally than with him as our enemy,” I exclaimed, gesturing out at her, “look at her, Father! Truly see her for what she is! She’s no goddess, but she possesses the same skills as one. I don’t think this is coincidence. I truly believe that she is meant to be much more than another Asgardian woman.”
“You have much to learn about her, my son,” he frowned, trying to force a smile and failing. I watched as the look in his eye became distant, like he was revisiting a memory that brought him pain. He tried to push it away, but it lingered there.
I shook my head, “I know all there is to know about her. I know her better than I know myself most of the time,” I chuckled, gazing out at the woman I was in love with. For a long time, I fancied Ephinea and Sif. The two women were stronger than anyone gave them credit for, but I couldn’t talk to them the same way I could talk to Eva. Eva was just...special. I knew every little thing about her, even though I was sure my brother knew far more, things I couldn’t even imagine. I glanced back up at my father, “there’s nothing I don’t know,” I assured him, thinking of the many secrets she had hidden from him, secrets he would never even know.
“There is so much you don’t know about her, so much that you need to know,” he said, a sad smile spreading across his lips as he gazed out at her once more before stepping away from the railing and turning to face down the hallway, “walk with me and learn,” he motioned, and I obeyed, falling in step with him and casting one final glance back at Eva. Once we were far enough away from the prying eyes and ears of everyone else, he began speaking, slowing his pace, “before you or I, before my father and his father before him, Asgard was created. Where once there had been nothing, we received a land of beauty, peace, and salvation. This was the place where the Asgardians could call home, a place that was more beautiful and rich with life than any other, and we took it all for granted,” he explained.
“The land began to dry up. Where there had once been lush forests and beautiful mountains in the distance, it was barren. The Asgardians who lived her long ago took from the world but never thought to give back. They built this city upon her natural beauty, hiding the plentiful gifts she bore to them. The creeks and streams began to dry up. People believed that it was the world’s way of grieving. She had always provided for them, always gave more of herself than they could possibly take, but they did not rejoice as their ancestors once did. They took the gift of life for granted, and they took this realm for granted. They did not thank the world for her blessings, and they did not live their lives the way we were meant to,” he continued.
“The drought of the world continued. Food was more difficult to come by, and we were running out of fresh water. We began sending people to various realms to acquire what we needed and bring it back here. We had already stripped our world of all she had to offer, and we were doing the same with as many others as possible. Life was dwindling, and we were unsure about the future of Asgard,” he said before letting out a long sigh. When I cast my eyes over to his face, I saw that he was reliving a memory that haunted him, and a sadness came over him that I hadn’t seen before, “I had an older brother growing up, a man I’ve never spoken about, a man no one speaks of anymore,” he confessed.
I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering how it could be that an entire piece of Asgard’s history was lost to me, “I forbid his name to be spoken, and there are not many who remember him, not the way I do,” he frowned, “Cul was older, stronger, and much more capable than I was. He believed himself to be the rightful King of Asgard, and when my father-your grandfather-died, Cul took the throne for himself. My father had groomed me to take his place after he died, but my brothers and I allowed Cul to rule because of his promise to keep us as his close advisors, a promise he broke shortly after his coronation. He picked from a group of his loyal followers to be his advisors. It wasn’t until he took the throne that we saw just how twisted he was, how his desire to rule festered into a madness we had never seen before.”
As we walked into the throne room, he stopped and stared up at the golden throne for a long moment, “he ordered that we strip the other planets of their resources, and if we were met with hesitation, we were to take the resources by force. He wanted to make it clear that no one would stand in his way. A part of me wants to believe that he had good intentions, that he wanted to show the Nine Realms that Asgard was still a powerful seat. However, the more he took from other planets, the faster ours was dying, so my brothers and I did what needed to be done. We stopped him,” he said, frowning at the memory. I could tell that it brought him so much pain even recalling it, so I couldn’t imagine the pain he went through when he lived it so long ago, “there was a bloodbath in this throne room. My younger brothers fell that day along with so many others, and it came down to just Cul and I. He had sent his followers away to spare their lives because he knew I wouldn’t kill him, that I would spare his life because of the ancient rules, rules he never followed but rules I couldn’t break,” he explained, glancing back over at me.
I furrowed my eyebrows, “but you broke them on that day?” I guessed, hoping it to be true.
He shook his head, a few strands of white hair falling out of place, “I couldn’t, and it wasn’t because of the ancient rules. I couldn’t kill him because he was my brother, he wasn’t the King of Asgard, not to me. I couldn’t kill him because I could still remember running around the palace with him and getting in trouble for fooling around for too long when I should have been studying battle techniques. Instead, I banished him to the Realm of Death, hoping that Death would be able to do to him what I could not bring myself to do. It was where he belonged. He delivered so many souls to Death that day alone that he deserved to face them all once more,” he said, glancing back over at the throne and narrowing his eyes, “but if I could go back with the knowledge I have now, I would have killed him when I had the chance because-”
Before he could explain his reasoning, a booming voice caused the entirety of Asgard to quake beneath our feet. It was the first time in my life I saw pure fear in my father’s eyes, “Odin!”
*Eva’s POV*
I stood in the courtyard that overlooked the Rainbow Bridge. Thor and Odin stood side-by-side in front of Sif, Ephinea, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, and I. Behind us were members of Odin’s kingsguard. While I had not wished to even wake up at all that week-let alone see the Allfather-I stood there out of the love I had for Asgard and my willingness to protect the people from any intruder, including the one that stood before us with his battleaxe strapped to his back. He stood the same height as Hjalmar once did, only slightly taller than the God of Thunder himself. The man before us all held himself like a King with his shoulder straightened and his head held high. He looked massive, like he was a force to be reckoned with. I had never met him, but he looked so oddly familiar to me, like a face I had seen only once before.
Dark brown hair that matched his short beard fell in waves nearly as long as mine, but he pulled the strands from his face and fastened them behind his head to see clearly. Even from our distance, I could see myself clearly in his piercing green eyes. Those eyes were filled with so much anger, so much hatred, but they were still so beautiful and pure...a green that matched the colors of spring. My breath hitched in my throat, and it felt like I was going to suffocate. I knew those eyes. I knew them from somewhere, and when he spoke, I began trembling with unchecked fear, “I am Ezra, son of Cul, and I have been sent here by my father, Cul, son of Bor, the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard. I have been instructed to deliver a message to the usurper, your false king,” he spat out, grimacing at Odin. I was shocked by his words, unsure whether or not they were truthful. I had never heard of Odin having any brothers aside from Vili and Ve, and neither of them had any children of their own. It was clear by the looks on the faces of my comrades that I was not the only one who was confused by his claims.
Even if he did, Odin was our King, and for an outsider to show up in Asgard and insult the throne, it was unacceptable. While I was angry at Odin for justifiable reasons, I did not hate him, and I would still fight to protect Asgard and her people. As I made a motion to step forward, Ephinea put out her hand to hold me back. When I tried to pass her still, she grabbed my arm, making her movements as small and unnoticeable as possible to keep from gaining the attention of the the outsider. She gave my wrist a gentle squeeze, trying to remind me without words that this wasn’t the right time. The small motions still pulled the attention of Ezra, and he glanced over at me in particular. His green eyes scanned over my body, and he smirked, “you’re just itching to kill me, aren’t you?” he asked before glancing back at Odin, “I see why you keep some of your best warriors chained up in the dungeons-like your son. It must be terrifying to have this one roaming around,” he said, gesturing to me.
A fury erupted in my chest as he mentioned Loki. I gritted my teeth, my chest continuing to rise and fall at an alarming rate. Still, I remained silent, not wishing to escalate the situation. Odin spoke up, “did you come here to discuss the population of Asgard’s dungeons, or do you have another motive?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. He was pulling a page out of Loki’s book, smiling in the face of danger. It was one of the things that made me love Loki even more, and it made me see Odin as so much more than I had been willing to in the past. In that moment, he became so much more three-dimensional than ever before. While he had forsaken Loki in the past and made his own mistakes, there was a piece of him that still loved the young trickster. When I saw him find his confidence the way Loki did, it made me think of the impact Loki’s actions must’ve had on the Allfather. While I wished to speak with Odin about it, I knew that this was neither the time nor the place for such discussions.
Ezra cast one more glance over at me with a smirk that made me sick to my stomach, but he turned his attention back to Odin when I grimaced at him, “my father sent me with his demands. In his exile, he has been building allegiances with many people within the Nine Realms and beyond, and I can assure you that none of them are particularly fond of Asgard. They would be willing and able to tear Asgard apart at my father’s command, but he is willing to go about this peacefully,” Ezra stated in a menacing tone.
“And what does Cul want in return for his promise of peace?” Odin inquired.
Ezra chuckled, stepping forward, “he wants the throne back, the throne you stole from him,” he growled, pointing a finger at the Allfather, “he demands you hand over the throne of Asgard, and in return, you will be exiled to the Realm of Death just like you did to him. As I see it, you have two options: you can surrender and meet his demands, which will lead to a peaceful life for your people; or, you can resist, which will lead to our return and the subsequent bloodbath that will take place. Either way, we will take the throne of Asgard, but your decision could save thousands,” Ezra said, offering Odin the ultimatum as if he was in any position to do that. He came to Asgard with no supporters behind him and threatened a King with the entire Asgardian army at his disposal.
Odin smiled at the man in front of him, and I saw the condescending undertones, causing me to smile as well. While I harbored some ill will toward him upon recent news, I could not bring myself to hate him or declare that he was a poor king. He held himself with strength and dignity, which was something that would not work in the strangers favor, “you forget the third option,” he smirked, and Ezra cocked his head, clenching his fists, “it’s where I let your armies come, and I defeat Cul just like I did all those years ago. I had no problem doing it then, and I won’t fail now. You do not look for peace, but I pity you if you try to fight us. We know much about what must be sacrificed to maintain peace, and I do not wish for a war. However, I will do what needs to be done should your father attempt to wage a war against Asgard and her allies,” he explained, “so, you can tell my brother that his proposition was met with resistance.”
Ezra chuckled, stepping even closer to Odin. As soon as he was too close, the entire army behind us drew their weapons, but Odin raised a hand, wishing to entertain the boy for even longer. I listened to the warriors lower their weapons, but they did not put them back in the sheathe. I glanced down at Thor’s hands that were balled up in fists. Ezra leaned in close to Odin and spoke, “well, I came here for your surrender, and I’m not about to leave empty-handed,” he murmured before stepping away from the two of them and pointing at me. Once more, his eyes trailed along every piece of my body before locking eyes with me, “I’ll take that one,” he dictated, closing the space between the two of us.
Before he could stand directly in front of me, Ephinea stepped between the two of us, “try to take her, and I will rip you in half with my bare hands,” she threatened, rage clear in her voice. She had always been like an older sister to me, so it didn’t surprise me that she would react like that to someone who was threatening my safety.
Ezra glanced over at her but then back at me, “call off your dog, pet,” he instructed, cocking his head to the side with a smile filled with false admiration.
I scowled at the nickname he decided to give me, and I felt a chill run down my spine at the thought that I could be traded off to ensure peace, even if that peace would be short-lived. Odin’s stunned silence was not helping ease my troubled thoughts, but I had to act with strength and grace just as I always tried to, just as my father taught me all my life. I raised my hand and rested it upon Ephinea’s shoulder as I stepped out from behind her. She gazed over at me, horrified and flustered because of my actions. She had no idea what I was planning to do or why I was planning to do it, but I offered her a short glance that I hoped would set her mind at ease. When I stepped between her and Ezra, he didn’t break eye contact with me. He smirked, one of his eyes twitching ever so slightly as he narrowed them at me.
He searched my eyes-for what, I didn’t know-and when he didn’t find what he was looking for, he grabbed my chin and brought his face impossibly closer to mine, “tell me, what is it you want, pet? Do you wish for acceptance? Strength? Power? A real family? A place where you belong?” he asked, “I’m sorry to break your heart, but you won’t find any of that here, not with the current ruler. And, what about Loki? I’m sure you want him back, too, don’t you?” he asked, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. How did Ezra know about Loki? How did he know about my deepest desires? As I stared up at him with wide eyes, terrified that he was able to pick me apart so easily. He raised his eyebrows, sympathy crossing over his face, “you have so much to learn, beautiful, and if you cooperate, we’ll give you the answers you seek and the opportunity to live out the rest of your life with Loki,” he murmured before grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling me even closer to him, “but should you fail, I will find your girl on Midgard and tear her apart in front of you just for fun!” he growled, my heart twisting and shattering into a million pieces before he pushed me down onto the ground.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Thor’s loud voice boomed, almost like thunder itself. I could barely think of anything aside from Ezra’s threat. I was paralyzed with fear at the very idea that enemies of Asgard knew about her, that they could use her against me. Thor spoke as I tried to collect myself, “you are sorely mistaken if you think we’ll just hand her over to you. Now, we have entertained this madness for long enough. If you try to take her, you will not live to see another sunrise,” Thor promised, glancing down at me and nodding his head. I knew that I would have nothing to fear with Thor by my side. Even if Odin, for some reason, wanted to send me away, Thor would betray his father just to keep me safe.
Ezra chuckled again, laughing in the face of the God of Thunder, “I haven’t seen a sunrise in nearly 300 years,” he confessed, and a piece of my heart broke for him. I couldn’t help but see small pieces of Loki in him, the anger, the pain, the hate. I had nothing to compare Ezra to, though. I knew the man Loki used to be, so I knew that pieces of him were still alive. Still, everyone could be saved, and that included the enemies of Asgard. Ezra continued, “no matter! I’m used to taking what I want by any means necessary, and I don’t lose,” he said before unsheathing his axe in one swift motion and swinging it down toward Thor.
In the split second it took Ezra to begin the attack, I jumped up to my feet and drew Hellbreaker, one of the many swords my father had helped forge for me. Right before his blade could graze my prince, I stepped in front of it, catching the handle of his battleaxe with the blade of my sword and stopping him from hurting Thor. His eyes widened in clear astonishment. I was sure someone like him didn’t anticipate anything extraordinary, especially not from the person he nicknamed “pet” only moments prior. I pushed him away from the Thor and I, “you don’t lose?” I asked, grinning up at the intruder, “well, neither do I!”
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hcneymilkks · 5 years
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Bestfriend! Kim Sunggyu (INFINITE)
- mKAY so like ppl are probs like why this sir and LET ME TELL YOU SMTH...Kim Sunggyu is literally so handsome and lmao I would love him as a BFF but I know already that I will be given lectures and scolded at ahaha
- also because I miss INFINITE a lot
- trust me y’all will like this or else I’m throwing y’all into the gutter.
- wow my first drabble of 2019 what a great start to life
- ^^ jk i skipped out on studying to write this mr sunggyu wouldn’t like this.
- ANYWAYS
- o right, it’s based on this random dialogue prompt I found on Instagram: 
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Don’t care. Shut up.”
- this sounds like me and one of my guy friends who I call a grandpa....honestly grandpa Gyu is ikonic so that’s why we use him MKAY
- ANYWAYS
- bff’s with Infinite YeS please
- Golden Child too girl ya living the dream
- younger sister of Sungyeol and Daeyeol so of course music was in your blood
- ofc you were debating on becoming a trainee but then you were like “psh I don’t even do school work it’s too much effort.”
- so you instead support your annoying brothers on the sidelines...sometimes backstage on music shows where you see your favs
- the many times you come into Woollim entertainment w/ or w/o your brothers has been many times to the point that the staff knows who you are.
- heck may as well add in the CEO
- “yo idiots I brought food for you and mom is asking how you guys are.”
- ^^ what nice of a sibling you are.
- then again they call you names too so it’s natural
- chubs is their favorite one after watching Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo
- anyways skip skip to the good tea
- meaning this is where bff Sunggyu comes in
- so like Sungyeol’s group always practices in the same practice room and Daeyeol’s is the one beside it
- and like of course you have seen Seungyeol’s groupmates on t.v but not in real life..yet
- and what do ya do?
- yo bitchass here’s your food i brought extra for-OHMYGOD YOU’RE NOT SEUNGYEOL SKSKSK”
- “um....excuse but who u?”
- tryna remember who is who in ur brain.
- “mkay so my leader is Sunggyu, hes the oldest so we call him Grandpa Gyu. he looks small and has small eyes.” - award of the year goes to Seungyeol tryna describe his leader in the “NICEST” way possible to his confused sister
- “AH! YOU’RE GRANDPA GYU!” you pointing at him.
- cue dramatic silence and hysteric laughing
- “excuse?”
- “SHIT I MEAN UH HELLO SUNGGYU OPPA THIS IS FOOD FOR SUNGYEOL OPPA AND ALL OF YOU UYS IF YOU WANT SOME AND UH...BYE!”
- cringes at thyself and mentally scolds them for calling the well-respected leader Grandpa Gyu
- but that’s the start of a beautiful friendship
- on the other hand:
- “No I’m serious who’s that?”
- “It’s my sister Y/N. I guess she didn’t receive my text that I didn’t need her to bring food for me.”
- “Why did she call me Grandpa Gyu?” *cue little mouse leader Sunggyu angry mode*
- “uh...YEET!”
- another skip skip
- you come back again after apologizing profusely to Sunggyu in which he responds with;
- “Oh it’s no problem it has been dealt with already.”
- despite the nine? ten? year age gap y’all hit it off pretty well.
- “Y/N whatthehell I know how to send a text.”
- “Then tell me why it’s still in the unsent mode.”
- “...oh.”
- you teach him the new trends and in return you gain wisdom
- o man here’s a example
- “Y/N wat is a maymay?” -Christian Yu I kennat 
- “huh?”
- “it’s spelled m-e-m-e.”
- “t-that’s a meme.” laughing so hard your stomach hurts.
- you ain’t ready for the wisdom part yet so it coming soon
- NICKNAMES ARE A YES
- “you’re old. I’m calling you a grandpa.”
- “what why?” although he small, he fight....But Sungyu wouldn’t hurt you
- “You’re literally legal everywhere...you passed the age limit like fifty years ago.”
- “Y/N i’m not one-hundred...not even close.”
- “still, you old and I’m still a child.”
- “I am not a grandpa you child. I run faster.” 
- You look at him. “Not with those short legs I see. And only I can call myself a child”
- cue Sunggyu fighting the urge not to strangle you then and there. “I don’t care I’m calling you child.”
- here’s the wisdom part at: (texting version)
- GYU: Y/N, wehn u turn lgeal dont dirnk k
- GYU: is ad for u 
- GYU: no dnrinking k
- GYU: u git no job. git eddicted ot it. si bad
- GYU: on do
- translation: Y/N, when you turn legal don’t drink okay. its bad for you. no drinking okay. you get no job. get addicted to it. is bad. no do.
- Y/N: Grandpa, are you drunk?
- GYU: on
- GYU: no*
- needless to say, when you reminded Sunggyu that you already passed the legal drinking age, he nodded and said “I know.” 
- Seeing drunk Sunggyu would be so funny
- other than drunk texts, y’all have so many blackmail photos/vids of each other it’s impossible to still have space on your phone
- although you are close with the other Infinite members, Sunggyu is the person you go to advice for.
- “So if a guy likes you how do they show it?”
- “Y/N ask your brothers this...not me. Anyone else but me.”
- “No I asked both Sungyeol and Daeyeol once and they literally said chubs, he probs was looking at the window.
- ^^ cue Sunggyu scolding both Sungyeol and Daeyeol for saying something like that. 
- Even if Sunggyu is sometimes harsh, he still loves you a lot and has officially (probably) adopted you as his own child adding on to the other six children he has to watch 
- I ain’t letting Hoya go I’m sorry
- He honestly would protect you forever and would risk his life for you 
- he be the older brother you never had
- JK you love Sungyeol and Daeyeol a lot but they be too much at times
- Oh, homework help
- “And then they did it like this but I don’t understand how we got this number to this number.”
- “Wait hold on this wasn’t how I was taught.” - Rip getting Sunggyu to help ya
- So instead of him helping you it goes like this:
- “Shut up.”
- “Y/N I said nothing I literally just breathed.”
“ Don’t care. Shut up. I need to concentrate. You’re no help”
- “If you show me how they did it-”
- “Sunggyu I just showed you.”
- Y/N that is not the way I learned it.”
- “well grandpa your way is ancient now, math is always changing.”
- “HOWTF CAN MATH ALWAYS BE CHANGING.”
- Heated arguments like this would turn into...laughter.
- Yup, there may be serious times but mostly, your guys’ friendship is filled with smiles and laughter and great memories you never want to let go.
- uh...I guess we can end here because i have run out of ideas mkay bye
-SKSKS WAIT i THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING
- BONUS CONTENT:
- “who’s ur bias in INFINITE?”
- “Dongwoo”
- “wat why? Y/N I thought we were tight? You were supposed to be my ride or die.” 
- “grandpa Gyu please don’t say those words ever again that’s not trending right now.”
-okay im done now bye
© highlyflora 2019
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