ack it feels like i smoked way too much and then ate a bowl of coffee grounds. salt hasn’t helped so it isn’t pots/neurologic issues. i need to sleep but i fucking can’t. it’s been days of feeling fucked in the head and i’ve been actively avoiding all risky activities and behaviors since i noticed shit getting weird. fuck fuck fuck i have to make it through the next semester and keep my merit scholarship. at least i’ve done a months worth of late work in the past five days
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Reminder that bipolar mania, BPD euphroia and ADHD hyperactivity are not all the same thing, and you shouldn't be calling euphoria and hyperactivity "mania". And if you aren't diagnosed with some kind of bipolar disorder and are geniuenly experiencing mania, you need to speak to a professional (if possible of course).
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God I love when I’m euphoric ☺️☺️☺️☺️
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Wallahi I have borderline personality disorder 🤞
I think I'm going to ask my mom to start going to therapy again cuz I'm losing people. I literally feel so fucking empty but the next minute I'm fine then I want to manipulate people cuz I'm a baddie.
I literally don't feel like an actual person or that anyone truly loves me.
I feel like such a fucking burden, I literally want to unalive myself.
I've been so fucking depressed fir the past two weeks. I starting talking to my sister again after a month of ignoring her because she fucking triggered me and I started sh again, although I keep my distance from her.
I'm ignoring my mom and I don't know why.
I FUCKING HATE MY DAD SO FUCKING MUCH BUT I KEEP ON TRYING TO KEEP HIM IN MY LIFE ONLY TO GET DISAPPOINTED OVER AND OVER AND HE'S PROBABLY ENJOYING HIS NEW FAMILY AND FUCK HIM FOR BEING THE WORST FATHER BUT I ALSO MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. I WISH I COULD HUG HIM AGAIN.
I know I shouldn't but I literally compare myself to everyone else and all my friends went to university and are living amazing lives and going out while I stay in bed all day watching tiktoks and get acne.
I HATE THIS SHIT
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me when i realize that the media i consume during bad times that makes me feel seen and understood is also making me wrongly believe that refusing to let anyone in is a reasonable coping skill, fueling my self-hatred, and worsening my ability to be vulnerable with the people i care about:
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me crying after self sabotaging knowing damn well I brought this upon myself
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upon reflection Cassie from Euphoria is that totally BPD coded.
the impulsivity, the reliance on boys for her identity, the constant worry about how shes perceived by those she values; she's got it all.
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