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like-it-or-not-i-am-alive · 3 months

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Tw: menstruation, vent post, parents.

Thinking about how when I was a teen, I had really painful menses. At times, it was so bad that my legs felt like they were tingling, and standing was difficult. I was sent home from school on a number of occasions due to vomiting during my menstruation.

Overall, a really shitty time.

Not only was I frequently told I was being over dramatic, that I just needed to "walk around," eventually restricted from going home or seeing the school nurse... But I was told because I'm trans, it shouldn't be an issue.

My mother told me on a multitude of occasions, "If you're a boy, then you shouldn't be having these issues, huh?"

"Boys don't have these problems."

I hold so much bitterness over the fact that no one ever took me to the doctor for my painful menstruation. My mother told me years later that she didn't believe cramps actually happened during menstruation because she had never had them before. She only began to believe people get cramps when she had some herself, years after I was now missing menses all together.

Sometimes, that bitterness of feeling pain that no one believed me for, out weighs being invalidated. Other times, like now, I see the whole picture and feel so much anger.

The same adults who told me my pain was a lie, told me I was just trying to get attention, or get out of school, are the same ones who told the doctors, "She has a really high pain tolerance, we just know something is wrong when she complains about the head aches!"

Why is it that no one took me to the doctor? Why is it no one believed me when I never complained about pain before? The years of perfect school attendance suddenly questioned when I couldn't stand up from the desk. Was it all for nothing?

Why is it that the people I was supposed to trust the most were the ones who never listened?

Maliciously never listened.

I was punished for having a body that I didn't ask for and feeling a way I couldn't control.

I'm allowed to struggle with my anatomy, trans or not. I'm allowed to feel pain.

To be told I wasn't allowed to express the physical pain I was dealing with because I am transgender is heinous. They laughed when they would say it. I don't care if they thought it was funny. It was a mockery, and they knew it.

I should have been given some support. I should have been given at the VERY LEAST a supportive pat on the back.

I could have dealt with the pain on my own if they had just given me the space to do it. Without the shame and mockery.

Just before my menses went away, they started to believe me. I guess because it had been years at that point.

Even though the only change was that they would let me go lay down rather than be forced to socialize or do their activities. It really made a difference. Sure, it was painful, I was sick and couldn't eat. But it was a million times better than being made to continue as usual and burden everyone with my inability to function.

It still irks me.

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oro-junestar · 3 months

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why do people gatekeep queer identies?? like,, isn't the whole point of the queer community that we're sick of being told who we are and aren't allowed to be?? stop shunning queer people for being queer in ways you don't like

#this one goes out to all my #he/they lesbians #enby and tmasc lesbians #xenogenders #nonbinary #trans besties who don't medically transition #trans besties who hardly transition at all #autigender #bisexuals pansexuals omnisexuals and polysexuals (pls stop fighting u are ALL valid)#aroace #aroace who are also gay lesbian bi etc #and INFINTELY more queer identities who are continuously bullied just for being themselves #queers can we stop shunning other queers please it's not cool #anyway more tags #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #transgender #trans

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shmaroace · 6 months

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i don’t need anyone’s permission to exist!!

#‘you’re so valid :)’ im valid by simply being alive i didn’t need a reminder that a lot of other people don’t see me as really human #aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #asexual #acespec #aroace #aspec #trans

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yurious-george · 25 days

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saw a post claiming mizu was a canonical trans man when mizu has 3 genders: man, woman, and unlovable monster, and unlovable monster always wins. like yeeeeessss mizu intentionally presents male for the freedom it affords him but was canonically 'happiest' as a woman. saying simply 'he's a trans man' is pretty reductive for a character who hates themselves so much they have no solid identity outside of 'monster,' and whose amorphous gender identity is a central aspect of the show

#esp. since i vaguely remember mizu being described by the creators as #'a woman who needs to present as a man due to the intense misogyny of her/his/their time' (feel free to fact check me here)#she's both the ronin and the bride! get realllllllllll #blue eye samurai #lake from infinity train is better 'trans man' rep and he doesn't even use those pronouns in the show #this is my honest opinion. trans masc mizu is as valid as butch mizu.#this is cassandra

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wackachewbacca · 11 months

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A gentle reminder for all critters

Everyone and I mean every single person in the group Vox Machina is QUEER. No one is straight!

Vax’ildan is practically the poster child for bisexual disaster for this whole party. He’s flirted with: Gilmore, Percy, both of the Briarwoods in the incident that earned him the said title bisexual disaster, and Keyleth who became his partner.

Vex’ahlia is probably also bisexual based on encounters with Keyleth and possibly also Zahra.

Keyleth is demi and possibly also bisexual/pansexual based on her encounters with Vex’ahlia.

Percy is bisexual/pansexual. He’s been kissed by both Vex’ahlia and Vax’ildan, and been flirted with by Taryon Darrington which he didn’t mind and the two of them became friends afterwards.

Scanlan is pansexual. He’s been with multiple genders according to campaign and the show. He also flirts with Percy at one point under the effects of a charm effect which could only happen if you were attracted to the gender of the person.

Pike is bisexual/pansexual. According to campaign, she has spent time with women.

Grog probably also falls somewhere under demiromantic or possibly aromantic. He’s not really into romance altogether, but he enjoys sex with people of the opposite gender from him.

Taryon is gay. He has had a prior relationship to a man and confessed to being in love with Percy. He does not care for romantic or sexual relationships with women.

I know it’s been some time since we’ve seen them all during their romantic relationships but they are all queer. And just because most of them ended up in relationships with people of the opposite gender from them does not make them being queer less valid. They are in queer relationships and denying it and saying they’re straight is erasure of the identities each member belongs to.

#and this is not to exclude the many headcanons from the fandom especially ones such as both of the twins are trans #you are all so valid and I hope you get god sleep at night #and the vexleth shippers as well you guys were looking toward the future #this is not to call anyone out I think we all need the reminder #I think it’s been so long for some of us that we don’t think or remember them being very queer #critical role #cr spoilers #vox machina spoilers #vox machina #vaxildan #vexahlia #keyleth #percy de rolo #scanlan shorthalt #pike trickfoot #grog strongjaw #taryon darrington

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man-squared · 1 year

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Shoutout to the men lovers who never make their men feel like trash for just being men. The men lovers who abandon essentialism and love their men for their masculinity and femininity and all expressions and multitudes of gender.

Shout out to the men lovers who make us feel seen and loved, who make us feel like we can be loved not despite being men but because we are men.

Y'all are helping, and we see and love you so much. Thank you for breaking down the gender and sex essentialism that you may have learned through society.

#validation #positivity #attraction #dedicated to my gf who is a bisexual who has never once made me feel bad about being a man or trans + always does their best to affirm that #these lovely ppl are part of the fight to end the cisheteropatriarchy. idk how u can push essentialism abt men + do anything to fight it #man² #relationships

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user-name-h3re · 3 months

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i'm posting these mediocre sketches before school kicks my ass again

#camp camp #camp camp fanart #cc preston #god im so pissed my computer never lasts long enoug for me to finish at least ONE drawing #and i dont even have time to go fix it because of exams #cc nikki #cc nurf #AAND i cant download episodes anymore so now i feel like a huge failure #cc gwen #save me cc episode 3 season 5 #cc neil #cc ered #my art #i think preston and nikki would bond over nikki's new found femininity #since they most likely didn't get along very well before because of their differences #nikki could teach him how to fight idk #this episode validated my trans ered headcanon and my camp counselor ered headcanon #tough being right all the time #i really like that ered and nurf are both trying to become better people #i know they wont treat nurf's quote on quote growth seriously but im so happy to see so much focus on ered #i genuinly never thought this would ever happen im over the moon #ered<3333

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zerosuitsammie · 1 year

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For those unaware of what's happening in Missouri: The Attorney General, Andrew Bailey, has enacted an "emergency regulation" placing limitations on gender affirming health care for trans youth and adults requiring 15 one hour therapy sessions over 18 months for puberty blockers, 3 years for hormone therapy, and up to in some cases 9 years of documented therapy for trans gender individuals to receive hormone replacement therapy and other gender affirming treatments. In addition doctors are required to screen trans patients for autism and depression, if diagnosed with either they can be refused gender affirming care. Andrew Bailey enacted this emergency order under the Missouri Merchandising Protections Act, far over reaching the legal scope of the act, due to a claim that a St. Louis transgender clinic was prescribing "experimental drugs to kids without parental consent." These claims are untrue and are currently under investigation. Andrew Bailey's website now has a tip line to report trans affirming health clinics for “reports of questionable gender transition interventions.”

This is what trans genocide looks like in Missouri.

If you would like to fill Adrew Bailey's tip line with complaints about his actions the website is as follows.

#trigger warning: transphobia #trans rights #Missouri #andrew bailey #trans genocide #trans lives are human lives #trans lives matter #trans lives are valid #trans people are human beings

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thepoisonroom · 2 months

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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

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ozymandiaskingoftrash · 12 days

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I love you ao3 writers, but ya'll who write fix it smut that gives Nick Valentine some sort of genital modification so he can "finally have sex," are cowards. Nick's story is a queer story. Nick's arc is finding joy and empowerment in the bodymind he has, coming to terms with his humanity, and that he's not inferior to the original Nick. And you’re missing the opportunity to showcase the eroticism of non penetrative sex. Or kink? Toys? So many options.

#nonsexual relationships are also completely valid and incredibly queer ftr #nick valentine doesn’t need to have or desire sex to be human #this post is just specifically directed at smut writers #also can we talk about Nick as a trans story???#the whiplash that comes from your bodymind being different and perceived differently than you conceptualize yourself???#also obviously those that want/need gender confirmation surgeries are completely valid #im just criticizing the idea that Nick's body needs to ALWAYS be fixed for him to be happy #or that his lack of functioning genitals makes him less of a man #fallout 4 #nick valentine #fallout

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rollercoasterwords · 1 year

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yeah u can put "i hate jkr" and "fuck terfs" in ur tumblr bio but. can u listen + reflect when a trans woman criticizes hp fandom without immediately getting defensive.....

#if a trans woman says 'my firsthand experience with hp fandom is that it's transmisogynistic'#in what world is the correct response to get angry at her and demand that she reassure u that not EVERYONE is transmisogynistic in fandom..#like either a) u have not been transmisogynistic in which case...just keep scrolling #or b) u have been transmisogynistic in which case. u should take such posts as an opportunity 2 reflect on ur own behavior #and whether or not a or b applies to u is a personal evaluation for u 2 make privately #but EVEN if u feel the post does not in any way apply 2 u. it's still good 2 reflect!!! we are all participating in a fandom #that is tied inherently 2 a virulent transmisogynist #the least we can do is be vigilant in our personal circles + spaces abt transmisogyny.....#also personally. i think trans women can say whatever they want about hp lmao #especially on their own personal tumblr blogs that u can very easily just block if it's so upsetting 2 u....#anyway. valid critiques and criticisms of hp fandom exist + part of being in this fandom in 2023 is accepting that imho #txt

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def-not-kaz-brekker · 7 months

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HEY QUEER PEOPLE HOW ARE YALL DOIN ON THIS FINE DAY

I love y’all so much remember to drink water and to take care of yourselves my loves

EDIT: I’m sorry I forgot the option multiple of these if you want I can make another poll

#i love the lgbtqia+ community #I love being part of it and I love all of you #be gay do crime my loves #lgbtqia+#queer #trans #asexual #lesbian #nonbinary #gay #bisexual #intersex #aromantic #you’re all so valid my homies

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theblockedtomb · 9 days

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if you make posts about, e.g., trans men being seen as the worst of both men and women, denied the right to speak on either experience, and tag it as transandrophobia or something similar, you are making it very clear that when trans women talk about their experiences you either do not listen or do not care. Trans women also experience these things. It's not because you're a trans man. It's because you're trans. I know you're trans because you're a man but that's not the point, the point is all trans people are treated like this. Unless they either go stealth or gain high levels of social acceptance. Guess which subgroup of trans people that's easier for.

#Stop trying to act like there's institutional prejudice against men for god's sake #It's transphobia and misogyny esp oppositional sexism #I know there's a lot of discourse about transmisogyny but like. You don't need to coin a unique term for your experiences with transphobia #For them to be valid and worthy of discussion. You can just acknowledge that trans men are treated badly for being trans #I'm not interested in arguments either I don't care what the fucking imperialism defender said ABT it

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deimosatellite · 20 days

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its so wild seeing transphobes try and make up reasons why vivian ttyd isnt trans theyre like ''nintendo is obviously making a joke about crossdressing or w/e" when like. if you play the game you meet vivian in the middle of an out of body experience and shes the kindest and sweetest person ever and as you see her sisters be rude as hell to her youre SUPPOSED to go hey thats not okay?? like its so obvious that her sisters are in the wrong on how they treat her like. none of yall have played the gd game huh 9Y8UPSDFJ

#annie rambles #transphobe when they see a canonically trans women portrayed in a positive light: hmmm this is obviously nintendo being ANTI woke #anyways #tw transphobia #paper mario ttyd #pmttyd #tldr i hope i make sense on this but the narrative literally frames that vivians gender identity is valid and supposed to be respected #so when transphobes go ''bbbbbut nintendo is just being anti woke like w link crossdressing!!" like you are actiely ignoring the writing

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benveydraws · 9 months

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i can't love you in this skin

#twittering birds never fly #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #suggestive #<- jic #interpret this as you will #there's A Lot about gender and yashiro's relationship with gender and heteronormativity especially in relation to doumeki #he asks him what type of Women he likes. they only watch m/f stuff together. “i wonder if he's gentle with women”.#the anger and disappointment when he realizes that doumeki is actually attracted to him #unless he's remembering something that happened he only fantasises about doumeki with a woman and not with himself #(same was with kageyama iirc)#except for that kiss in the elevator but that's a whole other conversation. and even then there was a woman present #he even tells kamiya that doumeki is basically straight and he's just a rare exception #yashiro's is so so desperate to push doumeki towards a “normal” life #aka not in yakuza. not with him. in a normal (straight) relationship #just. a lot of self hatred and internalized homophobia #all that being said. i think regardless of the author's intent reading yashiro as a closeted trans person is also valid #the “i could never afford myself to reflect on this and i also don't care enough about living to even bother atp” type of closet #would it contradict some of the things yashiro says? sure. but he contradicts himself all the time #am i projecting as someone who will live and die in the closet? sure #i think it's interesting that the only person who genuinely asks him about gender is ryuzaki #in the same conversation where he asks him about falling in love #and yashiro's response is basically “it wouldn't change much” and “i'm fine with what i have”. are you tho #there's a lot i can say about yashiro and aoi and yashiro and ryuzaki's girlfriend but i can't articulate it well rn so whatever #the way dumeki's lie about dating a woman affects yashiro is also interesting regardless of which interpretation you go with #which is also why i'm using post time-skip for the art. the topic keeps popping up #but yeah uh. take it as you will i just have a lot of feelings about. This #art tag

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v-tired-queer · 3 months

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When I was younger I thought I wanted to be That Girl with long dark hair, bold red lips, and lashes for days who wore all black and could do anything in a killer pair of heels, but actually it turns out that I just really, really wanna kiss women like that

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