After the horrific murder of Briana Ghey, it was shocking and sad to see the media downplay, try to cover up, or even defend the murderers.
Trans lives matter. I’m going to blaze this post because we need to stand in solidarity with the Trans Community, to make sure that what happed to Brianna Ghey never happens again.
For those unaware of what's happening in Missouri: The Attorney General, Andrew Bailey, has enacted an "emergency regulation" placing limitations on gender affirming health care for trans youth and adults requiring 15 one hour therapy sessions over 18 months for puberty blockers, 3 years for hormone therapy, and up to in some cases 9 years of documented therapy for trans gender individuals to receive hormone replacement therapy and other gender affirming treatments. In addition doctors are required to screen trans patients for autism and depression, if diagnosed with either they can be refused gender affirming care. Andrew Bailey enacted this emergency order under the Missouri Merchandising Protections Act, far over reaching the legal scope of the act, due to a claim that a St. Louis transgender clinic was prescribing "experimental drugs to kids without parental consent." These claims are untrue and are currently under investigation. Andrew Bailey's website now has a tip line to report trans affirming health clinics for “reports of questionable gender transition interventions.”
This is what trans genocide looks like in Missouri.
If you would like to fill Adrew Bailey's tip line with complaints about his actions the website is as follows.
You're never going to see this. I know. I felt the need to write this for you anyway.
Maybe my input isn't needed because I'm cis, but I hope you and everyone else who sees this knows in spite of my gender identity and the privilege I have as a cis male that I'm aware that I have, I mean every word that I say. I never wanted to be privileged. I don't want to be privileged. I'm so incredibly sorry that I'm privileged. I know it's not right. I know it's not fair. If my input isn't needed, so be it. But I'm going to share it anyway.
My sorrow and rage and pain has not at all subsided since February 20, when I learned of your death. You've been in the back of my mind ever since. The grief and anger hasn't gone away. What your friends said about you and your family as well, shows that you were such a wonderful person. I wonder if you had social media. I would've loved to be your friend if you had Tumblr.
I find myself enjoying sunny weather and thinking "Nex would've liked this". I look at my friends' pet cats and think about Zeus. When listening to rock I wonder if you liked the song I listen to.
You were mistreated by your peers in life, because of your laugh, which I'm sure was wonderful, and the way you dressed. Being yourself cost you your life. And now even in death people refuse to respect you. Transphobes running rampant, calling you your deadname, someone here on Tumblr celebrating your death, labeled as filth. And now? Now your cause of death has been labeled as suicide. Even though absolutely none of it makes sense, and nothing adds up. It just doesn't make sense. And even if somehow you did commit suicide, the day before you did you were physically assaulted by your peers for getting fed up with being mocked. You were bullied before that too. Bullied relentlessly and mercilessly just for being you. The blood is still on their hands.
I'm utterly disgusted by the medical examiner, the state of Oklahoma, the transphobes, even myself sometimes for being so privileged because of my gender identity. I shouldn't be privileged for being cis. We should all be accepted and treated fairly and with care and love and respect. If only things were that ideal..
I'm crying now even as I write this. I so desperately wish that everything was different. That you weren't killed. That you could continue to hang out with your friends and be a kid. Making new recipes. Playing with Zeus. Playing your favorite songs. Making music, if you liked doing that.
Recently my faith and belief in God has been tested. But if there's an afterlife, a Heaven up there, I hope you're having fun and enjoying yourself up there. When I die and reach Heaven, I'll be sure to visit you.
On the other hand, if there's not a Heaven, I hope you're enjoying your eternal rest. Whatever being dead is like without an afterlife, I hope you're ok.
But until then I'm going to try my damndest to ensure your memory stays alive. Posting about you on social media and reblogging posts about you like wildfire so people never forget. I'm not going to let anyone forget you, Nex. I promise you. Me and all of the other people grieving here on Tumblr will continue to say your name, whether our shouts fall on deaf ears or not. We're never going to be silenced.
I raise my cup to you, Nex. You will be avenged. Justice will be served.
I didn't know you and I never will. You never knew me and you never will. But all the same, even if we're eternally strangers, I love you, Nex Benedict. I'm sorry the school failed you, I'm sorry the ambulance failed you, I'm sorry Oklahoma failed you, I'm sorry the world failed you. And perhaps I failed you somehow. And I'm so unbelievably sorry if I did. But I hope keeping your memory alive, and saying your name, and seeking justice can make up for it.