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mayfieldss · 2 years

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god ur writings are just everything. would you be willing to write a ben hargreeves x reader where the apocalypse is happening (shocking truly ik) and bens only concern is making sure that he and the reader both survive it together? with the ben of your choosing!

AN: I love this request so much! I chose Umbrella!Ben bc he's the loml, I hope you don't mind. I also didn't know if you wanted him to be alive or not so this is Ghost!Ben with a twist.

Promises - Ben Hargreeves

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual references, angst, fluff.

Ben had always loved you; he couldn't remember a time when you hadn't held residence in his mind. Klaus had introduced the two of you—sadly after Bens passing—and somehow, under some miracle, you had been able to see and talk to him. Perhaps that was why Klaus had brought you together in the first place. Maybe he had known all along.

You'd bonded with Klaus as well, mainly for the purpose of pulling pranks on Ben—pranks of which never worked, considering the ghost boy always knew what you were up to.

Your bond with Ben, however, was something different. He was head over heels for you, and not only because you were the only other person besides Klaus that could see him. He found himself enjoying your company more than he had anyone else's, indulging in your laughs and smiles, as if they were a delicacy.

When Five announced the apocalypse, there was no laughing, or happiness of any kind. As one would expect when the world was ending, deep depressions settled over everyone that knew of what was to become of the world. You'd gone home as soon as Five let the news loose, wanting some space to clear your head away from the umbrella academy heroes. Ben had followed you, leaving Klaus unattended, not that he would listen to Ben's warnings if he stayed.

"Look, Y/N" Ben appeared by your side as you collapsed onto your couch, head in your hands. "We're gonna make it out of this". Ben wasn't sure of his statement but spoke it anyway needing something comforting to say to you.

"You can't be sure of that Ben" Your head still sat in your hands and Ben wanted desperately for you to look at him. Then he could see your face, scan all your features so he would remember every detail of you no matter what happened.

After a moment he brought himself to speak, "I won't let anything happen to you, okay?".

You turned to him then, lifting your head from your hands but not in the way Ben had hoped. You were hopelessly upset, and Ben could tell well before you spoke. "But you're dead Ben, and I'm no hero. I'm just human, normal, average. I can't save us".

You seemed to notice where you'd gone wrong as soon as the words left your lips, having brought up the death of Ben in a conversation that was meant to be built on reassurance. "Ben I'm so sorry, that came out wrong-" Ben stopped you, smiling the despite the harsh truth. "It's okay".

You shook your head, placing your face in your hands once again "No, it's not, that was mean. I'm sorry".

Being a ghost was difficult, specifically when Ben wanted to reassure you. "Look Y/N, it's just the apocalypse, it's not like it's the end of the world".

You laughed at that, and Ben loved the sound. If he could, he would listen to it on repeat, put it on a record and never stop the turntable.

"Technically it is the end of the world" You were looking at him, the smile that he loved threatening to spill, though your eyes were brimmed with tears. Death was inevitable, you just didn't think it would come for you this soon.

"You promise we'll be okay?" Your question was a commitment impossible to keep but Ben nodded, wanting more than anything to put his arm around you.

"Yeah, I promise".

A few days passed and you had pulled yourself together enough to think about things other than your impending demise for a few minutes, before of course falling into a pit of sadness, anger, and frustration once again. Ben's promise did nothing to ease your mind, and you knew it never would. There was no saving you, or anyone. Maybe being okay meant being with him in the afterlife. You sure as hell found yourself heading there.

"You're thinking about death again, aren't you?" The voice of Klaus interrupted your thoughts, cheerful despite it all.

"Of course I am Klaus, it’s my future and it awaits me". You sent him a venomous smile, though you wanted to stop yourself from doing so. Klaus had done nothing wrong, but you couldn't stop your harsh comments, having turned into a pessimist over the last few days.

"Hey, it’s time to be happy! Five has a plan" He drew out the name of his brother, as if mention of the grumpy being would ease your mind.

"What is this plan exactly Klaus?"

"Well, I wasn't really listening, but I'm sure Five could tell you if you go talk to him" Klaus claps his hands together and you roll your eyes. As if it was easy to talk to Five. As you weren't one of his superpowered siblings, the boy wouldn't even lend you a glance.

"You know what Klaus? When the world is in fact not at its end, I'll be happy, but for now I wish to sit and bathe in everything I'm about to lose. My life for example" You stand as you speak, Klaus moving to take your spot on the loveseat in your living room. He'd always loved the spot and makes himself comfortable quickly.

It's then you see Ben standing in the doorway, arms folded like usual.

"Quite an impressive stance you have there Benerino, is there someone you're trying to impress?" Klaus teases Ben with a grin, having known about his crush on you since it started.

"He hasn't got anyone to impress" You wave the comment off, though you smile at Ben as you move past him to the kitchen.

"Ohh, I'm sure you are well worth impressing Y/N" Klaus continues and Ben hisses at him before moving into the kitchen after you. His brother could drive him into the grave if he wasn't already dead.

"Y/N, I know you're sick of hearing this but it's gonna be okay"

"Oh yeah, because Five's got a plan, right?" You spin to face him, though it's not anger in your eyes, it's fear.

It makes Ben ache, the thought that you are deathly afraid of, well, death. He doesn't want you to die either, knowing you have so much more to do with your life, a thousand things that he couldn't do with his own. He also knows there is a chance he won't see you again, even if you join the afterlife. To him that's too much to risk.

It's then that—if it wasn't already before—making sure you both survive the end of the world becomes Ben's top priority. He knows it's not a realistic hope to have that the both of you will survive, but Ben doesn't care. He wants you to live so he can haunt you forever.

The way Ben goes about this is through Klaus.

"Go, tell him what I said!".

Klaus looks at him with something of a frown, though, it's difficult to tell. "You go and tell him Ben, don't bully me into doing your ghostly dirty work".

Ben groans loudly, only for the ears of Klaus to hear. "That's exactly the point Klaus, I can't talk to him, I'm dead. But I can talk to you and you," Ben gestures toward the short yet old man just a few feet away, "can talk to him".

Klaus considers this, placing a finger to his lips in thought. Then he glances to Five who was currently, scolding Luther for "being a useless lump of clay". Klaus shakes his head "Nope, not talking to teenage grandpa".

He struts away then, as if he can escape Ben's pestering, instantly being followed by said boy. "Klaus, I'm begging you".

Klaus keeps walking, not sparing a glance to his brother "I only like begging in the bedroom little bro, and from people who are not you".

"Okay ew," Ben stops in his tracks at the words but continues to speak despite Klaus blocking his ears like a child. "Klaus, I want to save Y/N, and I know you do too".

Klaus pauses then, turns still with his hands covering his ears "You're so in love with them, aren't you?". Ben goes to respond, deny the statement, or perhaps confirm it, but he doesn't even have the chance to think about it before Klaus continues. "I mean, I knew you liked them, a lot, but you my brother, have caught the lovebug".

"The lovebug?" Ben folds his arms, defensive. He knows what Klaus says is true, always has been. He admitted such a fact to himself long ago, but his stubbornness sticks like a glue in not admitting it aloud.

"Ben, Ben, Ben. You are in love". Klaus comes over then, smug smile on his lips and arms extended in a hug like fashion, though, he would go straight through his brother if he tried.

Ben decides upon not saying a thing, a simple eye roll coming as his only response to the tease. This only fires up Klaus more, the man jumping up and down on the balls of his feet. "I think you should tell them".

"What?".

"I, your brother, think that you Ben Hargreeves should admit your feelings for Y/N" There's a pause and Klaus leans in closer "Before it's too late".

Ben thought over Klaus's words carefully and decided upon one thing. He would tell you how he felt, but not because it was the end of the world, and not before it was too late. He was getting the both of you out of this apocalypse in one piece, even if it cost him everything. There would be no 'too late'.

Currently Ben stood in your living room, trying to convince himself that his feelings were worth sharing, that above everything they were better than a goodbye, that they wouldn't push you away. It was too late to back out now, and if he did Klaus would most likely throw him under the bus later, spilling the beans like he always did with every secret he held.

It was then that you entered your house, jumping at the sight of Ben, pacing within your place like an anxious puppy.

"Jesus Ben!" You held a hand to your chest, backpack gripped in the other as you kicked the door closed. "What are you doing here?".

Ben froze for a second at the sight of you, the best person he'd ever known, whether he'd been alive in his time of knowing you or not. He ran over the words he was to say in his head. "I wanted to tell you something". It wasn't how he'd intended to start the conversation, but it would have to do.

"What'd you want to tell me?" You have your back to Ben now, placing your backpack on the kitchen bench and pulling out various food items. Ben counts two boxes of microwave rice risotto and a block of cheese before he loses focus. Ben can't bring himself to confess when he doesn't know if you're truly listening. If he's going to do this, he wants your full attention, and by the looks of it he's going to have to take it.

He moves quickly taking your hand just before you can grab anything else from your bag of wonders, and it's then that you turn to him, eyes sinking into his. You hold a frown, creases in your brows that Ben wants to smooth out with the pad of his thumb.

"I want to tell you something important-"

Ben is cut off as your gaze shifts from his eyes to his hand, still holding your own. "Ben," Your voice is full of confusion, "you're touching me".

It's then that the feeling of your skin on his registers in his mind, and his mind seems to blur with the contact, something he hadn't felt in so long.

"Is this what you wanted to tell me?" Your voice is quiet, still staring down at that of the skin on skin contact. Ben's staring at it too, your hands intertwined, and somehow a laugh escapes him.

"No, what I wanted to tell you was different. So different".

You manage to pull your eyes away from your hands, though, it had been hard, to look at Ben's face, scanning him for answers. Answers that he didn't have, that was, if you were looking for something to explain the contact.

"What were you going to tell me?" You’re looking into his eyes now, and he can tell that you want to reach out, see if your hand won't just go straight through him, but you don't.

Ben is quiet for a moment, afraid that if he lets go of your hand now, he will never be able to hold it again. Then he finds it in himself to speak. "I wanted to tell you how much I care about you" Ben stops closing his eyes tightly as he wills the right words to come to mind. As much as he hates to admit it, he's thinking of what Klaus would do. When he opens them again, you're looking at him with deep concern. "Ben?". The way you say his name drives him crazy, somehow pushing him forward, giving him the strength to confess.

"I care about you, in more than a friend way". He can't bring himself to say that four letter word. He wants to tell you that after you both survive this. After the two of you make it out alive, flipping off the end of the world with grins on your faces.

When the words leave his lips, you stare at him with something he can't understand, he feels you squeeze his hand and then you let go, and Ben's heart sinks at never being able to touch you again. And then you hug him. You hug him, bringing him close to you, arms around his neck and smiling into his shoulder. Ben is stunned at first, head spinning at having you this close, before he wraps his arms around you, trying to push back tears of relief.

It takes a long time for the both of you to pull away, and when you do Ben makes sure to keep his hand intertwined with yours. He doesn't want your touch to disappear just yet.

"I always keep my promises". His voice is soft, quiet, and you find yourself moving in closer, though you can hear him just fine. You say nothing, and you don't need to say anything. "I promised you that we would make it out of this, that we would survive whatever the fuck this apocalypse is. I'm keeping that promise, okay?".

All you do is nod, but there are tears in your eyes and you're smiling. Really smiling. Ben allows himself to do the same, and somehow that makes everything better. He knows that you'll survive this, together.

AN: another Disney channel ending to add to the books!

GENERAL TAGLIST: @heliads @candywh0r3 @caplanreads

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY TAGLIST: @thelaststraw3

BEN HARGREEVES TAGLIST: ??

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karlyboyyy · 1 year

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It's Been Three Days

Summary: What I'd like to imagine took place in the days following the events of episode 10 - lots of Kazuki sadness, Rei trying his best, hugs and tears, and talking about feelings. Because we haven't really seen much bonding between the two of them in the show! Fic tags: KazuRei, Angst/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Comfort Wordcount: 5.5k Also on AO3! << It's my first ever post on there :D

-----------------------------

It’s such an odd thing to realize just how quickly you get accustomed to the orchestra of background noises that fill your home on a daily basis. The video game jingle that plays on a loop and gradually speeds up when the player is nearing the end of the race. The soft *ka-tak ka-tak ka-tak* of a kitchen knife chopping vegetables on a wooden cutting board. The rhythmic humming of the washer and dryer, constantly running to keep up with the laundry that seemingly never ends. The half-broken toy that plays that awfully annoying song from that popular children’s television series and doesn’t have an off button. The sweet laughter of a young girl who loves spending the day with her papas...

It’s been three days. Three days since that bittersweet family outing and that final ride on the Ferris wheel. Three days without that familiar orchestra of noises. And man, is that silence deafening.

Rei assumed he’d be able to adjust to the quiet atmosphere pretty easily. “I’m used to this, after all”, he thought, having lived in lonely solitude for years before Kazuki came barreling into his life. But even after Kazuki made himself at home in Rei’s apartment, the two of them hardly spent any actual time together, unless it was related to their work. Kazuki would sometimes attempt to start a conversation as he cooked dinner while Rei played his video games in the living room. But he was lucky if he got more than a few words and the occasional “hm” out of Rei, who would normally have his headset on and couldn’t be bothered to pay much attention to his surroundings. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. The two of them got along well enough to consider each other friends, and they each trusted one another completely. In their line of work, trusting your partner was essential. So, they were work partners and roommates. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course, that all changed after Kazuki brought Miri home…

The morning after that ride on the Ferris wheel, Rei woke up before Kazuki. This was odd because Rei could count on one hand the number of times he’s been awake before Kazuki. But that day, he didn’t think too deeply about it. He knew that Kazuki was hurting and figured that leaving him alone to work through his emotions was probably the best thing to do. Besides, Rei had no idea how to comfort Kazuki in this situation and feared that he’d only make things worse if he did or said the wrong thing. So he made himself a bowl of cereal, sat down in front of the tv, and turned on some random program, leaving Kazuki to sleep in a little later.

The show Rei had landed on happened to be one he was familiar with, having watched it with Miri every Saturday morning. “Heh. I should record this for her to watch later.” As he grabbed the remote to set up the recording, the reality of the situation came crashing back toward him like a tidal wave. How could he forget so easily? Miri was gone. Knots began to form in Rei’s stomach and he could feel the onset of a migraine. After deciding to turn off the tv, he tossed the remote onto the couch cushion farthest away from him, pushed his barely eaten bowl of cereal toward the middle of the table, and abruptly plopped his whole body down onto the couch. Lying there, staring at the blank tv screen, he thought to himself, “this… sucks,” before drifting back to sleep. When he awoke several hours later, he noticed that no lights had been turned on, no food was cooking, no laundry was being done… there was nothing but silence. Kazuki hadn’t left his room.

The next morning was pretty much the same. Rei awoke to a quiet house, and the door leading to Kazuki’s bedroom remained closed. “Is he actually in his room, or did he go somewhere without telling me?” Rei wondered. “But if that’s the case, he would’ve left a note like last time… right?” Rei checked the front entry area and saw that Kazuki’s shoes and coat were still there in the exact same spot they’d been left the day before last. “Still home…” Once again, Rei made a bowl of cereal for himself but decided to eat at the dining table this time, hoping to avoid a repeat of the tv incident from the day before. After finishing his meal, he booted up his game console but quickly removed the Morio Kart disc that was inside and replaced it with one of his old shooter games. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn’t played these types of games since Miri started living with them, fearing that the blood and violence would be too much for her to witness. “But I guess Miri did have actual first-hand experience with not one, but two gun fights. Hell, she probably would’ve thought this game looked fun. Maybe I should’ve played it with her…”

Around lunch time, the silence in the room was broken by the sound of Kazuki’s bedroom door finally being opened. Rei whipped his head around so quickly he could have sworn he felt something in his neck pop. But it wasn’t quick enough, as Kazuki had already shut himself in the bathroom. Rei felt like a creep as he stared at the door handle, waiting for it to turn and for Kazuki to emerge from the bathroom. When he finally did, Rei’s voice cracked as he called out, “H-hey. You hungry? I can order a pizza.” Kazuki paused for a moment, but didn’t look up, his gaze locked downward. “No thanks. I’m good.” Before Rei could say anything back, Kazuki was already back in his bedroom closing the door behind him. Rei spent the rest of the afternoon and evening alone. One would think that having a day alone to yourself in a quiet home would be relaxing, especially when your daily routine was typically consumed by chaos. But that was a far cry from this reality. For Rei, the silence weighed on him like he was being pulled further and further under water. It was suffocating, to say the least. He also began to feel incredibly anxious, because he knew that he wanted to comfort Kazuki in some way, but had no idea how to go about it. “I feel totally worthless…”

It was now day three, and Rei had had enough. “I can’t go back to how things were before… I just can’t.” He decided to try his hand at tackling some of the chores around the house. He thought that it would be really pathetic of him to expect Kazuki to continue taking care of everything for him now that Miri was gone. Sure, he’d always done so in the past, but things were different now. Rei realized that Kazuki was only ever truly happy when he had a family to take care of. But now that there was no longer a “family” here, Rei knew deep down that there was a very good possibility of Kazuki leaving. Would it be next month? Next week? Tomorrow? The uncertainty frightened Rei, but he refused to become the same useless mess he’d once been. Well… he had enough determination in this very moment to at least do a load of freaking laundry. Baby steps were better than no steps, right?

So Rei started off his cleaning crusade by sorting through the pile of clothes on his bedroom floor and picking up any stray articles from the living room on his way to the washer. After tossing everything in and latching the door shut, he stood there for a moment staring at all the buttons and knobs. “Why are there so many??” Kazuki had, on several occasions, shown Rei how to operate the machine, pointing out the various features and wash cycles, and showing him exactly how to measure out the soap. But did Rei remember any of that? Absolutely not. But he figured he couldn’t screw it up too much as long as he stuck with the “regular” cycle and only used a little bit of soap. Once everything was set, he hesitantly reached for the Start button and gently pressed it in. The machine came alive with that familiar sloshing sound that he’d so desperately missed these last few days. He relaxed his shoulders, let out a sigh of relief, and smiled to himself. “Nice.”

Suddenly, the soft clack of a door being opened echoed from down the hall. Rei peeked his head around the corner to see if he could catch a glimpse of Kazuki. But alas, he had just missed him yet again. Rei then heard the shower turning on and thought that he really would be a creep if he were to stare at the bathroom door waiting for Kazuki to come back out, like he did yesterday. So instead, he headed toward the living room to start picking up all of his garbage.

**********

Kazuki felt numb.

It’s been three days, and yet that feeling refused to subside. Kazuki struggled to pinpoint exactly what emotion he was feeling about this whole situation. Was he mad? Maybe a little. But when it came down to it, he knew that both Kyu-chan and Misaki were right. Allowing a five-year-old child live with two hitmen was dangerous, and he couldn’t come up with a valid justification to argue otherwise. At least, not one that wouldn’t make him sound like a selfish asshole. Was he sad? Sure. But again, he knew that Miri was safer this way. So how could he truly be sad about the fact that she was safe? He couldn’t. In fact, if he were being rational about the whole thing, he thought he should actually feel quite relieved. “Yeah right… I’m too greedy for that,” he thought. So he wasn’t mad, or sad, or relieved. He was just… numb.

Kazuki knew that it was pathetic of him to hole up inside his bedroom, but he couldn’t help himself. Coming home that night to the sight of toys strewn across the living room floor, child-sized dishes piled in the sink, the basket of pink flowery clothes that needed to be washed… all of it was just so overwhelming. Kazuki couldn’t bring himself to look at any of it, so he ended up going straight to bed that night. Over the next couple of days, he only came out to use the toilet or to grab a quick snack so that he wouldn’t make himself sick. But otherwise, he stayed in bed staring off into space. He felt sort of bad for ignoring Rei, but he knew that Rei struggled with expressing his empathy. Because of that, Kazuki was afraid that he’d end up snapping at Rei for no real reason or accidentally saying something hurtful that he didn’t really mean, knowing damn well that Rei wouldn’t know how to react and would most likely take it personally. So in order to avoid that tension all together, Kazuki chose to avoid Rei for the time being. “I hope he’s at least eating something other than cereal…”

By day three, Kazuki was starting to get sore from lying in bed for so long. “I should probably shower.” On his way to the bathroom, Kazuki could have sworn he heard the washer running. “But there’s no way… I’m not even sure Rei knows how to use the damn thing, even though I’ve shown him a million times.” Kazuki let out a soft chuckle as he turned the knob in the shower all the way to the right. There was a brief squeaking noise before the water started raining down from the shower head, and steam began to gradually build up in the enclosed space. Kazuki started to undress, removing the wrinkled clothes that he’d been wearing for three days straight. He glanced at the reflection of his naked body in the mirror, flinching at the sight. It was obvious that he hadn’t eaten a proper meal nor had he gotten any decent sleep in these last few days. He had dark circles under his puffy eyes, his hair was a greasy mess, and his face looked pale and ashen like a ghost. He was honestly quite grossed out by the state he was in, and felt sort of relieved that Rei hadn’t seen him earlier. After stepping into the shower and under the hot water, Kazuki felt his muscles immediately relax. He stood there unmoving for god knows how long, just letting the water pour over the top of his head and down his face.

Out of nowhere, Kazuki heard what sounded like a gentle knock, followed by silence. He wasn’t sure if he was hearing things or not, so he waited for a moment to see if another knock would come. Instead, he heard the *click* of the door being opened. “…Kazuki? Are you okay? You’ve been in here for a while…” Rei was so quiet that Kazuki could barely hear him over the running water. He pulled back the shower curtain slightly and poked his head out, ready to teasingly chastise Rei for coming into the bathroom while someone was in the shower. But the sight before him almost sent him into a fit of laughter. Rei had his head peeking around the door into the bathroom, but his eyes were tightly shut, scrunching his face. Kazuki thought it was actually quite adorable. “Yeah. I’ll be out in just a few minutes, alright?” he said, with a slight smile on his face that Rei couldn’t see. “Ah, okay then,” Rei said, as he quickly shut the door. Pffft! Kazuki didn’t realize in that moment, but that numb feeling was finally starting to ease, if ever so slightly.

**********

Kazuki walked out of the bathroom to find Rei vacuuming. Rei. Vacuuming. WHAT?! Kazuki was so stunned he nearly dropped the towel that he was rubbing his hair with. He stood there in awe, taking a look around the entire room. Not only was Rei vacuuming, but it looked like he did the dishes and picked up around house as well. “Ha! Maybe I really did hear the washer running this morning!” Rei hadn’t heard the bathroom door open, so when he finally noticed Kazuki standing next to the couch staring at him, he flinched and scrambled to find the power button on the vacuum. “H-hey! You’re out! You hungry? I’ve made something to eat if you’d like some.” Although he still spoke in his low, nearly monotone voice, Rei appeared to be a bit more flustered than Kazuki had ever remembered seeing him before. “Oh yeah? What’d’ya make?” Kazuki was impressed. Rei cleaned and cooked?? “Um… it’s just porridge. I found an easy recipe online. You haven’t eaten these past few days, so I thought maybe your stomach was upset. I figured porridge would be easiest to eat.” Rei felt a little embarrassed to be offering his measly porridge to a guy who practically lives in the kitchen. And let’s be honest, Kazuki doesn’t exactly hold any punches when it comes to critiquing food, so Rei’s worry was justified. Kazuki could tell Rei was nervous, and again had to hold back his laughter. “Why is he being so cute right now? It’s hilarious, but I can’t tease him too much or else he’d probably curl up in a ball and shut down.” Kazuki pulled out a chair at the dining table, sat down, and looked up at Rei with a grin. “I’d love some. Please and thank you!”

And so the two of them sat at the table, quietly eating the porridge that Rei made. Rei cleared his throat, having already decided that he’d had enough of the eerie silence that had been suffocating him over the past three days. “Hey… do you wanna hang out today? Like, together? We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to. It’s just been really… boring.” Although Rei was definitely trying his best to communicate more with Kazuki, he wasn’t exactly ready to say that he felt lonely and anxious by himself. So he decided to play it off as boredom. Kazuki glanced up at Rei, and to his surprise, Rei was looking right back at him, their eyes locked together. “…Sure. Is there something in particular you wanna do?” Rei hesitated for a moment. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting Kazuki to say yes, and hadn’t really thought this far ahead. “Um… well, we can watch some movies. I guess? Oh but first, we should dry your hair. It’s still wet, and you’ll catch a cold. I’ll dry it for you, if you want.”

“Okay… who the hell is this person and what have they done with Rei?! It’s like the onigiri incident all over again…”

“Ah-haha, it’s okay. It’ll dry on its own. And it’s warm enough in here that I won’t get sick.” Kazuki was truly beside himself. He knew that Rei had started to step up more to take care of Miri. But he couldn’t think of any time before when Rei had offered to take care of him.

“Dude, just let me dry it. I used to do it all the time for Mi- uh… I mean. Well it’s not like you haven’t done the same for me before, so just shut up and let me do it, okay?” Rei scratched his head, annoyed with himself for almost bringing up Miri. He told himself just this morning that he would avoid saying her name in front of Kazuki at all costs, not wanting to upset him. But Kazuki wasn’t upset and could see how frustrated Rei looked. “Okay then. You can dry my hair.”

Rei sat on the couch, his legs far enough apart for Kazuki to sit on the floor between his feet. Kazuki held his knees close to his chest, his chin resting on top of them. The loud whirring of the hair dryer filled the air around them, as Rei ran his fingers through Kazuki’s soft hair. “Fluffy…” Rei absolutely kept that thought to himself, and could feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“I can’t even remember the last time someone’s dried my hair. Maybe when Yuzuko and I first started dating?” Kazuki thought back on the memories of all those years ago and smiled. “But man, this does feel nice. And he’s being so gentle, it almost tickles. And this warmth… I could fall asleep.” A few moments later, the loud whirring ceased and Kazuki jolted in place, having truly almost fallen asleep. “All done,” Rei said in a soft voice. “Aw man, already? That was so relaxing!” Although Kazuki was only teasing, the words were true, nonetheless. “Um… I can brush your hair now, if you’d like? I don’t mind.” Although his words were nonchalant, Rei looked almost excited. And who was Kazuki to say no to that? “Okay.” Rei got up to find a hairbrush and returned in a flash to continue playing with Kazuki’s hair.

After a while, Kazuki was the first to break the silence. “Ya know, I really thought the three of us would be together forever.” He let out a soft chuckle before continuing. “How silly is that?” Rei paused for a moment, surprised by the topic of conversation. He didn’t think Kazuki was ready to talk about this yet. Before Kazuki could notice that his hands had stopped moving, Rei started running the brush through Kazuki’s hair once more.

“Like, I actually thought, ‘Hey! This is my second chance! I can build a life with these two, and we can be a real family. We can be happy.’ Why did I get my hopes up? I should’ve known this would all end eventually. I mean come on. Look at us. Two hitmen raising a child together? That’s some shit straight out of a manga. It could never actually work in the long run.” Kazuki closed his eyes and held his hand over his face, gently rubbing the furrowed skin between his eyebrows.

Rei was thankful that he was sitting behind Kazuki, and that Kazuki was unable to see his face in that moment. Because he could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and could only imagine what sort of twisted expression his face was in.

“Hey, Kazuki?”

“Hm?”

“Are you… going to leave?”

“Leave? What do ya mean? Where’m I going?” Kazuki realized he sounded slightly exasperated and hoped that Rei didn’t pick up on it.

“I know… I know that you want a family. And now that Miri… now that it’s just the two of us, we aren’t really a family anymore, are we? So are you going to leave now?”

Kazuki could hear the slight hitch in Rei’s voice, and quickly turned around to face him. Rei’s eyebrows were contorted and his cheeks were flushed red. And his bottom lip trembled.

Kazuki panicked. “What?? What are you talking about? Why would I leave?”

“Because it’s not safe for you either! The organization… they’ve already made it very clear.”

“But that was just about Miri, right? It was about our work getting sloppy, yeah? But she’s safe with Misaki now. And we’ll just go back to how things used to be.” As much as it pained him to admit, Kazuki knew that the words coming out of his mouth were true.

“No! It wasn’t just about Miri… it’s more than that.” Rei paused and closed his eyes for a moment, attempting to level his breathing. He then looked directly at Kazuki with glistening eyes and spoke more softly. “Don’t you get it? I’m a Suwa. I’m expected to continue the Suwa family line, and to take over the family business. But I…” Rei closed his eyes again and shook his head. “I don’t want to! I don’t want to…” Rei could feel the hot tears welling up in his eyes and failed to keep them from breaking through.

“Then what do you want?” Kazuki said in a soft, low voice. He could tell that Rei was terrified and could feel the adrenaline coursing through his own veins, causing his hands to shake. The only word he could think of to describe this feeling was protective. It was almost as if he was prepared to single-handedly take down anyone and everyone who had caused the man in front of him to break down in tears. Because anyone who was able to cause this normally emotionless man this much pain… deserved to suffer.

“I just… I just want our family back. But I know that’s not possible right now, and it may never be possible again, no matter how much I miss Miri. And god, I miss her so much… But above all, I want her to be safe. So I know that she needs to stay with Misaki. And I also know that you’d be safer, too, if you left… if you got as far away from me as possible. But Kazuki… I can’t. I can’t lose you, too.” By now, Rei was no longer able to hold back the flood of tears rolling down his cheeks, and his breaths were coming in short, shallow bursts.

In the blink of an eye, Kazuki had gotten up, positioned himself next to Rei on the couch, and pulled him into his arms, holding him close to his chest. Kazuki’s left hand cradled the back of Rei’s head, while his right hand gently stroked the space between his shoulder blades.

“Rei. Listen to me. I’m not leaving you. I will never leave you. You hear me? We ARE a family. Even if it’s just you and me. We can still be a family. Alright? So stop crying. Please, stop crying.” Kazuki tried with all his might to comfort Rei, but could feel that he himself was on the verge of breaking down.

“But… you deserve a real family, Kazuki. You deserve to be with someone you love. You deserve to be a papa. Because you’re such a good papa…” Rei buried his face in the crook of Kazuki’s neck, attempting to stifle the constant sniffling. He desperately grasped at Kazuki’s shirt, pulling it back so much that it was nearly choking Kazuki. But Kazuki didn’t say anything nor did he stop Rei.

“Rei, you deserve those things, too. You also deserve to be with someone you love. You deserve happiness.”

“But I AM with someone…!” Rei let the sentence trail off, surprised by the words that he’d nearly blurted out, and paused to catch his breath. “I was happy with our family. And I’m happy with you. I’d never known that feeling before, until I met you. And having Miri with us… made it so much more obvious. So I know I’m being selfish by asking you to stay with me. But I don’t want to give up any more of my happiness. I don’t want to go back to how things were before. I can’t go back. So Kazuki, please… I’ll try harder, I promise. I’ll clean more and I’ll learn how to cook and I won’t complain as much. And I’ll protect you. I’ll do anything to protect you. So please…” At this point Rei was sobbing so much that he began to ramble and his words were somewhat difficult to understand. But Kazuki continued to hold Rei in a tight embrace, gently stroking his hair to try and calm him down.

“Hey shhhh, I already said I’m staying, didn’t I? So try to calm down, okay? I’m not going anywhere. And hey, you did so good today with the chores! I was so impressed. And your porridge was delicious. Make it for me again sometime, will ya?”

Rei nodded, his face still pressed against Kazuki’s collar bone. “Yeah, okay.”

Kazuki slowly pulled away from Rei, holding both of his hands in his own between the two of them. “Have you calmed down a bit?” Rei nodded without saying anything. The tears finally stopped, but his face looked a mess. Kazuki reached his right hand up to gently rub Rei’s cheek. “Good. Ya know, I must say… you’ve been acting awfully cute today. I’m not used to it,” Kazuki said, letting out a small sigh of relief mixed with a faint laugh.

“Shut up!” Although he had meant to sound forceful with his words, Rei instead sounded like a whiny teenage girl, which made him feel even more embarrassed and caused a fresh wave of blood to rush back up to his cheeks. He then realized that his face probably looked absolutely ridiculous after his meltdown and attempted to wipe his eyes and turn his head away so that he was no longer facing Kazuki.

But Kazuki only found this to be even more endearing, and immediately guided Rei’s face back to where he could see it more clearly. He then positioned his hand so that he cupped Rei’s chin in his palm, with his cheeks squished between Kazuki’s thumb and four fingers. “Heheh fish lips.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the sight and at the fact that Rei was even letting him mess with his face like this in the first place. Truly, he was not used to this side of Rei. But he was enjoying himself.

Kazuki’s laughter eventually trailed off, but he kept Rei’s face cupped in his hand, lightly squeezing his cheeks. Then the expression on his face softened as he continued to stare at Rei’s puckered mouth. After what was probably only thirty seconds, but felt like hours, Kazuki locked eyes with Rei. “Hw-hwat?” Rei stuttered, unable to enunciate due to the squished cheeks. He wondered how long Kazuki was going to hold his face like this and why he just kept staring. If he was being honest, he was starting to feel a bit uneasy. Rei had never really had anyone look at his face for this long or this closely before. He felt almost naked.

“Rei. Have you ever kissed anyone?” Kazuki maintained eye contact after asking the question, so he was able to see the exact moment the pupils in Rei’s deep blue eyes constricted to half their size.

“HUH??! What kind of question is that??” Rei flailed, yanking his face away and batting Kazuki’s hand down. “Seriously, what the hell??”, he thought to himself.

“Aww, come on. I’m just curious! You’re acting so adorable today, and I wondered if anyone else has ever seen you like this.” Kazuki already knew that Rei had probably never been in a real relationship before, so the words he spoke were only a joke. Still, he found himself slightly annoyed at the thought of someone else experiencing this side of Rei, but decided to keep that thought to himself.

“Why should I even tell you?” Rei continued to swat Kazuki away, but Kazuki was relentless.

“Hehe so I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

“Ugh! Why do you even care??”

Quicker than Rei could stop him, Kazuki grabbed Rei’s face again, this time sandwiched between both of his hands. “Because. I do care. I care about you. And if we’re going to be a family, I want to know everything about you.”

Rei stopped resisting, and just stared back at Kazuki. “He looks so serious now…”

Kazuki’s gaze lowered slightly, and Rei realized just where he was looking. His mouth. Rei then noticed that Kazuki was slowly leaning closer toward him. “He’s not… ACTUALLY going to kiss me, is he?!” Rei didn’t know how to react, so all he could think to do was close his eyes and brace for impact.

Kazuki paused in his tracks and smiled to himself. Rei had his eyes tightly shut, reminding him of earlier that day in the bathroom. “He’s so funny.” Kazuki continued leaning in, closing his eyes and gently kissing Rei on the forehead.

Rei’s eyes shot open in surprise. A forehead kiss was NOT what he was anticipating, and he felt a little ashamed for expecting something different. But that feeling of shame melted away the moment he met Kazuki’s gaze once more and saw the slight shade of pink on the apples of his cheeks as he smiled a goofy grin. Rei couldn’t help but smile back and let out a soft, breathy laugh.

Kazuki carefully pulled his hands away from Rei’s face and stretched out his arms, taking a deep breath and letting out a loud sigh. “Haaaaahhh! So. Should we watch a movie now? Was there one you wanted to watch?” Kazuki leaned back into the couch, but not before pulling Rei to his side and wrapping his arm around him, his hand on Rei’s bicep. In this position, Rei was able to rest his head on Kazuki’s chest just under his arm, but he wasn’t sure where to put his hands. One arm was stuck behind Kazuki against the back cushion, so he didn’t really have a choice there. But the other was left out in front, hovering over Kazuki’s lower stomach. Rei hesitated for a moment, but finally thought, “Screw it,” and set his arm down so that it lay across Kazuki’s waist. After receiving no complaint from Kazuki about where his hand fell, Rei tightened his grip on Kazuki’s side ever so slightly and nestled even further into place. “He’s warm,” he thought. “This is nice…”

“Any movie is fine. Whatever you wanna watch.” Rei honestly didn’t care about the movie. He was just happy to be spending time with Kazuki. Happy to be pulled out of the suffocating silence.

“Hey, Rei?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for avoiding you these last couple of days. It was nothing against you. So I hope you didn’t get too lonely.”

“…I was lonely. But it’s okay. I understood what you were feeling.”

“I might get like that again… I mean, I’m feeling a little better now. But it comes in waves. Ya know?”

“Yeah… I get it.”

“Then will you cuddle with me to make me feel better?” Kazuki said playfully.

“Yes.”

Kazuki only said that to tease Rei, so he wasn’t expecting him to respond so quickly or so matter-of-factly. But he found that Rei’s response made him insanely giddy. Kazuki tightened his hold on Rei, pulling him in even closer. “Good. That makes me happy.”

“…” Rei didn’t know how to respond, but knew that he, too, felt happy in that moment.

It’s been three days. And there was no telling how many more it would take before things finally started to feel normal again. Or maybe things would never feel normal again. Maybe there was a hell storm coming their way that they weren’t at all prepared for. These were all possibilities that they had to consider. But as they sat there embracing each other’s warmth, Kazuki and Rei both knew that they’d be okay, as long as they were together. If one was suffering, the other would be there to help pick up the pieces. If one was happy, the other would be there to celebrate in their joy. After all, isn’t that just what a family is?

#I did it guys #I wrote an actual fic! Woo!#kazurei #kazuki x rei #kurusu kazuki #suwa rei #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #buddy daddies #buddy daddies fanfic #ao3 fanfic #angst with comfort #emotional hurt/comfort #I hope I'm using these fic tags correctly lmaooo

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years

Note

Sick

"I can’t stand living here. When do I get to go home?”

“Chase, listen..I know you don’t wanna be here, just as much as I don’t want you to be here. But you’ll have to cooperate with us-”

“How much longer do I need to “cooperate”, huh?! I’ve been as obedient as a goddamn dog ever since I got here.” The father at the opposite end of the table scowled at you, glaring at the IRIS logo on your lab coat. Clearly, he wasn’t in the mood to talk to yet another scientist. But it’s not like he had any choice in the matter.

He could always stay silent, though it wouldn’t make you leave him alone. You were too damn determined to talk to him.

“I do literally everything you ask of me..and it’s never enough! When will I know what’s really going on?!” He continued to rant.

Despite his increasingly aggressive attitude, you had to remain calm and remind him of the camera stationed nearby. Its light glowed an eerie red, indicating its detection of heightened negative emotion.

"I understand your confusion, but please do not shout.” You gently urged. “If the camera detects too much negativity, we’ll have to cut this conversation short. And I'd hate to leave without telling you anything important."

“I don’t give a shit about--!! Wait..what did you wanna tell me? Something I don’t already know?” Calming down only slightly, Chase blinked in bewilderment.

This was certainly a turn of events. Usually he just repeated the same old shit to the other scientists; telling them what they likely already knew. But you were different--you wanted to tell him something important instead.

“A lot of it’s confidential, but I’m able to tell you this much about why we need you here..” Pausing, you opened the folder beside you, gazing at the files contained within it. “A few years back, you’ve openly admitted to a YouTube audience about your depression and your friend’s coma. You would say both are..terrible occurrences that have impacted you significantly, no?”

“Well..I mean, sure. But how did you-”

"We’ve had a WTCHR camera installed in the recording studio for the past five years. It picks up all visual and audio stimuli. And due to unusual activity on the computer itself, our systems were able to tap into it as well.”

“What the hell..” You could barely hear Chase muttering under his breath. “So IRIS was stalking me this whole time?”

“..it was for safety, Chase. Believe me, I know you value your privacy. But given the paranormal circumstances leading up to your friend’s coma-”

“Jack.”

“Pardon?”

“His name..is Jack.” He spoke through gritted teeth, hands balling themselves into fists. “All along you knew something was wrong. Everyone I ever talked to before this thought I lost my fucking mind. They thought I was crazy! But you guys knew, and did nothing. You all just watched as this happened to us!! As he tormented us!! YOU’RE SICK, YOU KNOW THAT?!!”

The slamming of fists made you tense, although your gaze quickly flickered to the guard stationed near the door. He seemed ready to sedate Chase at a moment’s notice, but then again he was always on-edge...or just annoyed it was getting close to his lunch break.

Looking back at your patient, it broke your heart a little to see him start to cry. Clearly, all of this had taken such a heavy toll on him--you couldn’t blame the poor guy who used to have a loving family and a decent career..all gone up in smoke.

He had his snark with the other scientists and guards, though this seemed to be his breaking point.

If you were held captive for months in a facility studying paranormal sciences with little to no answers on what was going on..you’d eventually crack, too.

"Doctor..I just want to understand..” Chase clutched at his cap, eyes closed and cheeks streaked with tears. “Is it him? Is it because I’ve made contact with him?!”

“Yes.” You sighed softly, leaning over the table to rest your arms, opting for a more casual posture. “We believe the events you spoke of are connected to this singular entity. We’ve been tracking him since 2016, but he’s tried sabotaging our systems so..it’s difficult to know his next move. Even IRIS doesn’t fully understand what he is or what he wants.”

“Wow, that’s reassuring..” He remarked sarcastically, sniffling as he opened his eyes. “All you need to know is that he’s some weird...virus demon who wants to hurt people and take over my life. I don’t know why he chose me, but..h-he’ll do anything to get his way. Even if it means killing everyone here.”

“Are you threatening us?” The guard’s voice suddenly boomed, startling you slightly--and especially Chase. You scowled at him for speaking without permission and intentionally aggravating the father, but the latter seemed more frightened than angered.

“No, I’m..I’m telling you the truth! I’m trying to warn you guys! He could be watching us right now!!” His increasing paranoia was captured by the camera, its red light brightening once more.

“Chase, even if he is..you’re much safer in this facility than in your own home." You attempted to defuse the situation. "We’ll be here to intervene should he try anything. He's not gonna hurt you. You have my word."

That didn’t do much to calm him down, as he just looked back at you with a scoff, although he did lean back in his chair. He then removed his hat to rub the side of his head, groaning in pain. “God, I got a fuckin’ headache...this is a lot to take in..”

“I’ll send a nurse to deliver Tylenol. But I think we can stop here for today. I’ll let you rest and give you time to process all of this.” Closing the file, you stood up and glanced at him with a twinge of pity. “I promise we’ll get you out of here soon. See you next time, Chase.”

Eventually he decided to climb into his bed, turning away from the camera’s light and staring at the wall.

“Yeah..see ya.” With a huff, he took the tennis ball on the table and held it in his hands, nails digging into the shedding lime green fabric.

He heard your footsteps, along with the guard’s as you both exited his cell, once again leaving him alone with his thoughts.

As much as he despised being here against his will, you were a genuinely nice scientist who actually gave him clarity on some things. You spoke in a way that made sense--without all the technical jargon that your colleagues spewed (and somehow expected him to understand).

He only hopes you can keep him at bay.

#soooo new x reader concept dropped!!!#my days of writing scp scientist!readers have prepped me for this #also whatever iris stuff i write prior to the project vid dropping is pure speculation #clanask #jse x reader #septic egos x reader #chase brody x reader #jse iris #scientist reader #platonic #one word prompt #chase brody #writers of jack

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determinedwriter · 7 months

Text

Whumptober 2023 Day 9: Polaroid

Peter and I clean out my room together after Dad becomes a little too frustrated with my mess. After telling Peter about my overwhelming task, he offered to come over and help. I gladly accepted.

“Shoebox under the bed? Looks like a pretty good place for secrets.” He teases, opening the box.

“Quit it.” I reply, grabbing the box from him. “I don’t even know what’s in here.”

He takes a photo out of it. “Whoa, that looks so much like you. Is that…you?”

Peter points to the baby in the photo and I take a closer look. “Yeah…Yeah, that’s…me and my mom.”

His eyes widen slightly. “You never talk about your mom. What’s she like? If…if you don’t mind me asking.”

I slowly nod. “She was…God, she was a beautiful person. Her name was Ivy. She’s the one who raised me until…until she was killed. When I was nine. And that’s when I met my dad. It’s kind of…a long story. But she’s gone now.”

Peter frowns. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

“It’s okay,” I tell him. “You didn’t know. And honestly…if I stop talking about her, I’m afraid I’ll forget about her. But if I start talking, I might not stop.”

He gives me a sympathetic look, hand moving towards mine as if to ask permission to hold it. I allow him to do so, Peter squeezing my hand gently. “Ro…you can talk to me about anything. You know that, yeah?”

I nod. “Yeah, I know. I just…I don’t want to scare you away.”

“You could never do that. There’s nothing I won’t understand.” He says. “I’m an orphan, Ro. I get what it’s like to lose that. At least a little. I was young, but I do miss them.”

“Is it too hard for you to talk about my mom because of that? I guess I’m pretty lucky to have my dad.” I reply softly.

I sit down on my bed and he sits beside me, still holding the Polaroid picture in his hand. “Tell me about her. Anything you wanna say.”

I take a deep breath. “She was amazing, Peter. I…I wish she was here. If she still was, I’d probably be in the middle of nowhere where I grew up. My mom and her parents before her…they had to go on the run from HYDRA. It’s a long story. Then my mom met my dad and…she gave birth alone. My grandparents both got killed before I was born. And my mom never told my dad I existed. She was terrified. But then…HYDRA caught up with her. And she was killed. In front of me. She was shot and…”

Closing my eyes and letting some tears fall, I feel Peter rub my back. “It’s okay. Take your time.”

“She was shot and I ran. She gave me a letter right before she died…with my dad’s address on it. And that Polaroid was inside. And the rest is history. If I was stronger, maybe she’d still be here. I couldn’t s-save her.” I explain.

Leaning onto Peter’s shoulder, I apologize for my tears. “I’m sorry. Thank you for being here. That really means the world to me. Can I ask…what happened to your parents?”

“Plane crash.” He says. “Nothing anyone could do about it. I was six. I…I understand your fear of forgetting. It’s been ten years and I…I don’t remember their voices. That’s when Aunt May lost her sister and had to take in her nephew all at the same time. She’s been through a lot just to give me a home.”

I slowly nod. “I’m sorry, Peter. I know Aunt May must be glad that she’s been able to give you a place to live. And after losing her sister, I’m sure you were a comfort.”

Peter wraps his arm around me. “For the record…you were nine. You couldn’t have saved your mom. That’s not your fault.”

“Thanks…I just wish you could have known her. That my dad could remember more about her. He met her and they…well, made me. And then he never saw her again.” I explain. “I miss her so much.”

“You look a lot like her. Same eyes.” He comments.

I grin sadly. “Thanks. It’s hard for me to feel connected to her anymore, so…it’s good to hear I have a piece of her forever.”

There’s a knock at my bedroom door. “On a scale from one to ten, how clean is your room right now?” Dad asks.

I look around, seeing that our efforts were paused by me and Peter talking about the photo he found. “Umm, zero?”

He opens the door. “You invited a friend. I should’ve known you’d get distracted.”

Dad glances at the photo in Peter’s hand, playful and slightly annoyed facade dropping. “I forgot you still had that. You okay?”

I nod. “Yeah, we bonded over our shared dead parent trauma.”

He puts his hand up for a high five. “Welcome to the dead parent club, kids.”

Peter suppresses a laugh but doesn’t leave my dad hanging and high-fives him. “Uh, thanks, Mr. Stark.”

“No problem, kid,” Dad replies. “Get to cleaning or I’ll sell your gaming laptop.”

“I’ll sell your soul, old man.” I tease.

“Can’t sell something I don’t have.” He counters.

“Damn it,” I mumble.

I love the people in my life. I can’t lose them. I really, really can’t lose these two. I don’t know what I’d do without them around.

I don’t know if I’d survive.

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monako-jinn-stories · 2 years

Text

Crosshair X Fem!Reader FanFic

It Started With a Vacation

Main Master List

Story Master List

Chapter Twenty Two (18+)

Chapter Twenty Two (PG)

Chapter Twenty Four

Chapter Twenty Three

When you woke up the next morning, your bed was empty beside you. The bedroom door was open and you could hear someone in the kitchen. Pushing the covers away, you sighed as you got up to go join Crosshair.

When you saw him, there was something different about the way he was standing. It was almost similar to how he was when you first met, as if he was guarding himself. Not physically guarding, but keeping his thoughts and emotions from being expressed. You hated to see him like that, especially after how far you’d come together. Just last night you were talking about having a family, and you didn’t want to let him slip back to his old ways.

Walking up to him, you noticed how he only slightly turned his head when he heard you, and didn’t acknowledge you more than that. His shoulders even seemed to get more taught, so you hesitated. Did he not want to be around you now? Did you do or say something wrong last night?

“Goodmorning,” you said quietly, deciding to speak before acting. He let out a huff, still not looking at you.

“I don’t see what’s so good about it,” he responded. You dropped your shoulders slightly, folding your arms over your chest. You moved up to him then, pressing your cheek against his back. He tensed under you before moving, and you watched as he grabbed a plate and filled it. He silently took it over to your table and set it down, finally turning to you.

“There’s your breakfast.”

“Crosshair-”

“Are you going to eat it or should I let you make yourself something?”

“Don’t be like this,” you whispered, letting your hurt show in your eyes. His own remained void of emotion, almost cold, as he looked back at you. After a minute, he sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. You just continued to stand there, watching him, waiting to see what he would do next.

When he let his hand fall, your mouth dropped slightly as what you swore was a tear rolled out of the corner of his eye. He turned away from you, gripping the back of the chair. You didn’t know what to do, not knowing if he wanted your comfort or not. Deciding to take it slow, you stepped closer and rested your hand on his shoulder. When he didn’t tense this time, you let it slowly move towards his cheek. You moved as well, going to his side. When your palm was flat against his cheek, something small and wet rolled onto it.

“It’s going to be okay,” you whispered, reaching to rest your other hand on his other cheek. When you did, he reached up and squeezed it. It wasn’t hard, but it was desperate. Like he needed to feel your touch. Like he couldn’t let go.

“How do you know?” he responded, still not opening his eyes.

“Because, I’m not going to be in any danger-”

“What about me?” he asked, finally looking at you. “You’ll be gone for five standard months, all of which I will still be going on missions. What if something happens to me? What if I end up in danger?” You froze then, looking back at him. You hadn’t even really considered the possibility of him getting hurt. With the Batch’s track record of crazy missions and skill, you never thought that something like that would be a possibility for him, but it was. And it hit you like a force choke.

“You won’t,” you responded, but even you didn’t sound convinced. “You can’t. It-it won’t happen.”

“But what if it does?” he said, “what if we don’t get to see each other again? I just…I don’t want to be away from you. I just want to be able to live by your side without having to worry about us losing one another.”

“We won’t,” you said, squeezing his hand back. “We’ll always be by each other’s side. If not physically, then emotionally.” He blinked once, twice, holding in the tears that wanted to spill. He’d never been vulnerable like this with you before, and you were scared to do something to make him build his walls back up. But that fear subsided when he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. His other hand came up to gently hold your cheek, thumb rubbing mindlessly against it.

“I don’t want to be a soldier anymore,” he said. “Not if it means I can’t be happy with you. I-I’ll ditch the GAR if you want me to, if it would mean we could be safer together.”

“Ditching the GAR wouldn’t help,” you sighed. “In the eyes of the Republic, you’d still just be a clone, no, even worse. You’d be a clone deserter. If they caught you…”

“Is the risk not worth it though?” he asked, pulling back to look in your eyes. Your own tears began to build, and you shook your head.

“No, not even close. Crosshair, they’d put you in prison, or kill you if they found you. If you ditched, we’d get a few months together in secret followed by you spending a lifetime in prison. Imagine that versus, if you stay, it would, at most, be a few more years of war followed by the rest of our lives together…that doesn’t even begin to compare.” He sighed, pressing his forehead back against yours. You slipped your hands around to wrap around him now, holding him close. He returned the gesture, seemingly trying to push you as close as possible.

“Only five and a half standard months?”

“Yes.”

“No more than that?”

“Well…maybe a few weeks more.” His arms tightened around you slightly, and you felt a small nod.

“And then we’ll be together again?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” he said. He pulled back and looked at you briefly before leaning down and connecting your lips in a kiss. You could feel his lips trembling slightly, and you wished you could provide him assurance that everything would be fine.

“And you’ll tell me about this secret project when it’s safe?” he asked, stepping back from you. You licked your lips and let your eyes flick away from him briefly before returning them to his gaze. He was expectant, waiting for more confirmation, but you suddenly had a different thought.

“I’ll tell you now, if you want to know. I-I know it’ll be a lot-”

“Don’t,” he said, shaking his head. “If it’s going to put us in danger, then I don’t want to risk it.”

“But-”

“No,” he said firmly. “If it’s that important, then I’ll wait.” You just nodded, pursing your lips. You didn’t even know what you wanted anymore. You wanted to tell him, you wanted him to know, but he was right. The danger part loomed over you. The kind of punishment he might face, and what might happen to your baby if the wrong people find out, were things you didn’t want to think of. Your hand rested on your stomach as you thought, and a gentle hand came to rest on your back.

“Sit, eat. You’re hungry,” he said, motioning to your hand. You opened your mouth to correct him but stopped and just nodded. While you sat and ate, Crosshair made himself a plate of breakfast before joining you. When you had both finished, you cleaned the dishes together before going to change. After changing, you packed your bags while Crosshair leaned against your wall and watched. He chewed mindlessly on a toothpick, and you wouldn’t have been surprised if it was just a bunch of splinters by the time he was done.

When you were satisfied everything you needed was ready, you stood up and looked at Crosshair. He pushed off of the wall and walked over to you, silently taking a few bags.

“Cross, I don’t need-”

“I’m a gentleman,” he said before adding a smirk, “and I’m your boyfriend. Even if you don’t need help, I’m going to offer it. Besides, how would it make me look if I just let you carry six bags down to the hangar yourself?”

“I was just going to use the force,” you laughed with a shrug.

“Well now you don’t need to,” he responded. He moved a bag so that his hand was free, and he took your hand. He brought it up and kissed the top of it before leading you out of your bedroom and out of your main door. Once in the hall, he still kept ahold your hand. He didn’t care who saw you, he was going to feel your warmth for as long as possible before he had to say goodbye. In the elevator, he leaned over and gave you a few kisses scattered around your face before finally on your lips. You just giggled slightly, enjoying his playfulness over his upset. When the doors slid open, however, he merely gave you a small smile before leading you out.

There weren’t many people in the hangar, but a certain group of men caught your attention. You were surprised to see them, but definitely happy. The boys of Jawa Squad stood at your royal transport, waving towards you.

“How did they know I was leaving now?” you thought aloud, and Crosshair rubbed his thumb over your hand.

“I might have pinged your commander,” he replied, and you stopped and looked at him with a raised brow.

“Say that again.”

“What?”

“Say that again,” you repeated.

“I pinged your commander?”

“You? You pinged my commander? Sans? The guy you don’t like?”

“I don’t dislike him,” he defended, “I just don’t like how flirty he is with you. Besides, I know how much they mean to you, and I knew you’d want to say goodbye before you left.” You smiled before stepping closer and kissing him, not caring about being out in the open.

“Thank you, Crosshair,” you said after separating. He gave you a small smile before shrugging.

“I also pinged the Batch, but Tech said the ship was being worked on and he didn’t want to leave it in the hands of ‘Coruscant mechanics’.”

“The mechanics here are perfectly fine,” you said with a huff. Crosshair just chuckled, rolling his eyes as he spoke.

“Well, you know Tech. He loves that ship. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he cares more about that ship than his squadmates.”

“I wouldn’t blame him if he did,” you joked. Crosshair just gave a huff before nodding towards your troopers. You turned and looked at them, and they were waving you over now.

“I’ll take your bags on board,” Crosshair said, “that way you can have a few minutes with them.”

“You know you can be around them too.”

“I know, but I assumed you’d want to say have a few moments with them. Especially with everything recently.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you said. “I still feel awful leaving them so soon after Bomber.”

“Hey, they’ll understand. You can’t help stuff like this,” he assured you. “Being a queen and a jedi can’t be easy.”

“No, it’s definitely not,” you agreed, although that wasn’t why you were leaving.

“Here, give me the rest of your bags. When I come back out, I’ll tell you goodbye, okay?”

“Okay,” you sighed, handing him the bags before going to your men. They smiled widely as you approached, and you could tell Sans already had a comment to make.

“Here she is, boys,” he said, holding his arms out towards you. “The future mother of our perfect little nephew.”

“Or niece,” Hex stated.

“No, it’s definitely going to be a boy,” Sans countered.

“There’s an equally likely chance that it’s a girl or a boy.”

“Wait, isn’t there like a certain position or direction you face during conception for which gender it’s going to be?” Steele asked, looking at Aid.

“Why would I know? I’m a field medic, not a baby doctor.”

“That theory’s not even true,” Tie said with an eye roll. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter,” Sans said. “Except it needs to be a boy so I can win the bet.”

“You made a bet on my child?” you asked, raising a brow.

“Hey, it was Steele’s idea. He and I are on team boy, and Hex and Tie are on team girl. Aid didn’t want to be involved in the bet, but he’s holding onto the credits until they’re born and then he’ll give the winners the prize.”

“Or maybe I’ll just keep it,” Aid joked, causing everyone to turn and glare at him. “I’m joking! Calm down!” He threw his hands up defensively before shaking his head, rolling his eyes as the others looked at you again.

“So, are we allowed to come visit you?” Steele asked.

“I think it would be best not to,” you said. “As much as I’d love it if you did, I told Crosshair that he and the Batch can’t visit, so I don’t think I should let you guys visit either.”

“That’s fair,” Hex said, “but we’re going to holocall every night.”

“Of course,” you said with a laugh. “As long as me and Crosshair aren’t already having one.”

“He can learn to share,” Sans said, and the sound of someone huffing behind him caused him to jump slightly. Crosshair walked around him to stand by your side, slipping his arm around your waist.

“I’ll share her,” he began, “but just not in the ways that you might want.”

“As long as we can still talk to her and see her,” Sans said.

“Yes, I would never separate you. I’m not controlling.��

“You’re just protective,” you said, looking up at him with a smile.

“Territorial would be a better word,” Sans muttered. Crosshair just rolled his eyes at the comment before looking down at you. His tiny smile returned as he spoke to you.

“Should I give you another minute to say goodbye?”

“Yeah. Why don’t you wait on the ship and I’ll come find you?” He nodded, kissing your forehead before walking back onto the ship.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” you said, letting your shoulders drop. Jawa Squad instantly surrounded you, holding you in a group hug.

“We’ll miss you too, y/n,” Hex said.

“We’ll try not to forget you,” Steele joked.

“Don’t have too much fun on Dohbar without us,” Tie said.

“And take as much time to rest and heal as you need. We wouldn’t want you injuring yourself when you come back,” Aid added.

“Check in with us often, mesh’la,” Sans said. They each individually hugged you, and you gave them each cheek kisses before separating. They waited outside the ship as you went in, wanting to wave you off.

When you found Crosshair, he was leaning against the control panel. You slowly walked up to him and instantly fell into his arms. You fought the tears that tried to escape, wanting to be strong for him. But his own sniffle let you know that it’s okay to be weak, that you’re both hurting from this.

“Five and a half standard months,” he whispered. “That’s only thirty seven and a half standard weeks. A hundred and eighty seven and a quarter standard days.”

“Have you calculated exactly how many seconds that is?” you joked, and his hold on you tightened.

“Maybe. Maybe I want to count them down, keep track until I get to be with you again.”

“Maybe you’ll drive yourself insane doing that.”

“I’ll go insane if I don’t have something to distract me from being away from you.”

“I’m sure you and the Batch will have plenty of missions,” you said. “And you can even see what kind of crazy things Sans leads the 17th into.”

“Something tells me he’ll be a good leader while you’re gone,” Crosshair stated. “Especially if he’s got the rest of Jawa Squad helping.”

“Oh? Where’s this coming from?” you question, pulling back to look at him. His eyes are slightly red, and tear streaks mark his cheeks. You gently wipe them away, kissing his nose before he speaks.

“I told you, I don’t dislike him, I just don’t like his flirtiness. I know he’s smart and a good leader, I’ve seen him in action.”

“He’ll tone it down, don’t worry,” you assured him. “Maybe the time apart will help him realize that there’s only one man for me in this galaxy.”

“Oh, really?” Crosshair teased. “And who might that be?”

“Well, he’s tall…”

“Mhmm.”

“Handsome…”

“Mmm.”

“Snarky.”

“Hmph.”

“And an excellent sniper.”

“Sounds familiar,” Crosshair said, his eyes sparkling down at you. You let your grin grow before you pressed your lips to his. The kiss was deep, passionate, and full of love. It was filled with the love of every kiss you would miss out on until your return. It felt like your entire hearts were poured into it, and neither of you wanted to separate. You wanted to be frozen in this moment, to never have to suffer the separation you were about to go through. You just wanted the war to end, to live happily together, like you were made to.

“I love you, my Princess Cyar’ika,” Crosshair mumbled against your lips.

“I love you too, my snarky sniper.” When you separated, you wiped each other's tears with soft laughs, finding humor in the shared instinct. Crosshair let out another long breath before you walked with him to the boarding ramp. You watched him join your troopers, and waved as the ramp closed. Sitting in your pilot’s seat, you waved as you started the ship. You didn’t stop waving until you could no longer see them, after you’d flown out of the hangar and into the atmosphere. Something inside felt like it was straining as you left, but it wasn’t a bad strain. It felt like when you worked a muscle, slowly building up resistance. It felt like after rest and healing, this strain would turn into something much stronger.

As soon as your ship was no longer able to be seen, Crosshair turned, meeting the gaze of your men. A few briefly looked between each other, but Sans kept his gaze with the sniper.

“If you have time, you’re more than welcome to stay around for a bit. Maybe grab some drinks with us at 79s tonight,” he offered, but Crosshair shook his head.

“I think I can safely assume the rest of the Batch will be anxious to head off as soon as possible.”

“That’s understandable,” Sans said with a nod. He seemed to pause, thinking over something in his mind. He wanted to say something to Crosshair about everything, to assure him that it would be okay, but he also didn’t want to reveal that he knew more. He could assume Crosshair wouldn’t take it well if he knew Sans was allowed to know what you were doing but he wasn’t. He also didn’t want to risk a slip up, because breaking your trust is the last thing he wanted to do.

“I trust that-no,” he said, shaking his head, “I know that she’s thought this all over. That she made the best and safest decision she could. Whatever it is she’s doing, I trust, and I know you trust, that when she talks about it, it’ll make sense.”

“You’re right,” Crosshair said with a sigh, “but that doesn’t make it easier.”

“I didn’t think it would, but I wanted to try.”

“Thank you,” Crosshair said.

“No need to thank me-”

“No, not just for this,” Crosshair began, “thank you for…everything you’ve done for her. I know I’m not exactly the nicest to you, and I don’t appreciate your flirtations with her, but you care about her. You love her. You and the rest of Jawa Squad, the rest of the 17th. But you, specifically, I know have looked out for her as if she was walking the thinnest line. I know you always make sure she’s safe, no matter what. You love her enough that you would put her before yourself, and you’d do anything for her, so…thank you.” Sans didn’t know what to say, Crosshair’s words surprised him more than he was expecting. Everything he had said was true, but the quiet, sneering sniper never seemed like the one to say this much. Especially not to someone he wasn’t a big fan of. In a way, he felt honored to hear this from the other man. Not many people could say Crosshair thanked them.

“Oh,” he finally spoke. “Well, you’re welcome.”

“I know you don’t do it for me,” Crosshair said with a slightly amused huff, “but I still appreciate it.”

“Like you said,” Sans began, “I’d do anything for her.” Crosshair nodded, something resonating in his mind. Before he knew what he was doing, his hand was extending to your commander. With only a fraction of a second’s hesitation, Sans reached forward and clasped the other man’s hand in his. They shook once, nodding to each other, before letting go. A silent agreement formed between the two during that moment. One where Sans agreed to keep protecting you, and Crosshair agreed to treat you right.

Crosshair stepped back then, briefly looking and nodding at the others, before he turned and began to leave the hangar. No one called after him or said goodbye, but he didn’t mind. He almost preferred it that way. He wasn’t usually one for words, but with you, it was different. He felt like he could talk for hours about anything, and you’d listen. And he’d listen to you as well, because he loved the sound of your voice.

It didn’t take long for Crosshair to reach the barracks and the Marauder within the hangar. As he approached it, the ramp extended down. He huffed to himself, finding his brothers’ need for privacy a bit excessive. He quickly climbed it, long strides quickly taking him up and then through the door. Once inside, he instinctively pressed the button to bring the ramp back up. Once he did, Tech began to start up the ship.

“Hey, Cross,” Hunter said when Crosshair moved away from the door, “how was your night with y/n?”

“Fine,” Crosshair replied simply while heading to his bunk. Something in the way he responded seemed off to Hunter. He knew Crosshair wasn’t always the most open person, and short answers were common, but he usually was different after being with you. He often came back with a hint of a small smile, or some story he immediately wanted to share, but he was quiet this time. Too quiet. He watched Crosshair for a second, hesitating before asking his next question.

“Is everything alright between you and her?” he asked cautiously. Crosshair seemed to freeze briefly, but quickly resumed his actions.

“Everything’s fine,” Crosshair responded a bit more shortly. He placed a toothpick in his mouth, a telltale sign that something was off. Hunter exchanged a glance with Tech as he joined the rest of them before he spoke again.

“Cross, you know you can talk to us,” he said as he sat on his bunk across the space. “We may not know y/n like you do, but we still know her. And we know you.” Crosshair only glanced up briefly before sighing and laying back on his bunk. He took a minute to gather his thoughts, to think of what he wanted to say and how to say it.

“Something feels…off,” he finally said.

“How so?” Tech questioned.

“She’s going to Dohbar,” he replied.

“And? That’s where she’s from,” Wrecker commented.

“It’s different this time.”

“Is she doing something that she doesn’t normally do?” Hunter asked, but Crosshair shook his head.

“That’s the thing. I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me what she’s doing.”

“That is indeed strange,” Tech said.

“Yeah, it’s like she’s keeping secrets,” Wrecker added.

“Now wait, we know y/n,” Hunter countered. “She wouldn’t keep secrets unless there was a reason. What did she exactly say?”

“She said it was dangerous for me to know, but then told me that it’s probably not going to be dangerous for her. I just…I’m worried and I want answers. Real answers.” He sighed, pushing himself up and swinging his legs over to rest his feet on the ground. He bent forward and put his head in his hands, letting out a deep breath.

“Well, do you trust her?” Hunter asked. Crosshair hesitated, looking up to meet his brother’s gaze. He looked at the others as well, and they were waiting for his answer. He did trust you, but he didn’t know if he trusted whatever you were doing. Looking at the floor, he thought about his answer. What if he didn’t really trust you? What would that mean?

“I do trust her,” he began, “I just don’t know if I trust the secrecy. It’s not normal. And the separation is going to be for so long, I don’t know what it’s going to do to us.”

“How long is she going to be there?” Wrecker asked.

“Five and a half standard months, possibly a bit more or less.”

“That’s quite a while. Whatever she’s doing must be serious,” Tech commented.

“Yeah, but she wouldn’t keep it from you unless it was actually dangerous. She loves you and trusts you, so if she’s not telling you something, it’s for good reasons.”

“I suppose so,” Crosshair responded. “I just don’t get why I can’t even visit her, even just briefly.”

“You could always surprise visit her,” Wrecker suggested. “Stay somewhere in the city and go to the palace as a tourist or something. Pretend like you don’t know her and spend some alone time with her.”

“No, she trusts me to respect her, so I will. I’ll just have to settle for holocalls.”

“Don’t worry, Cross,” Hunter said, getting up and walking over to him, “we’ll make sure the time flies by quickly, and that it won’t feel like five and a half months.”

“Great,” he replied with an eye roll, “does that mean we’re going to some dangerous planet where our memory is going to get clouded again?” They began to head to the cockpit, preparing to finally leave Coruscant.

“No, we will not be returning to that planet,” Tech answered, “but we will be going somewhere dangerous. I suspect we will have lots of opportunities to use explosives as well.”

“Aw, hells yeah!” Wrecker cheered, holding his hand up for Hunter to high-five. The smaller man laughed as he did so before taking his seat.

“Just let us know if you guys ever do anything…private on holocalls. We’ll make sure to give you extra privacy.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Crosshair snarked back. “Besides, I wouldn’t do that on the ship anyway. I’d get a private room somewhere.”

“What if we’re in the middle of space?” Wrecker teased.

“I’m done talking about this,” Crosshair grumbled, adjusting his toothpick in his mouth. “How long until we get there, Tech?”

“Only 3 hours,” he responded, sitting back in his chair.

“Good. Long enough for a nap.”

“You that tired from last night?”

“Enough.” The others just snickered while Crosshair rolled his eyes before closing them, folding his arms over his chest and trying to settle his mind to get some rest. He hoped that he’d be able to sleep better, more restless nights wouldn’t be good for sniping, or any sort of fighting he would be expected to do. These missions required equal effort from everyone, and if he slacked off, there was no telling how damaging the consequences would be.

When you arrived on Dohbar, the first thing you noticed was the Jedi starfighter sitting in the hangar. You smiled and shook your head, both amused and thankful for Codo’s involvement in this. He truly wanted to make sure you were okay and comfortable, that you weren’t alone. Of course, you had Ahni and Kwol, but he also knew you needed someone to fill the parental role.

You left your bags on the ship, deciding to bring them down later. Nothing you brought was very important, most of it just being clothes or books, which you had plenty of here. When you stepped off, you were immediately greeted by two eager twins.

“Aunty y/n! Grandpa Codo told us you were going to stay here for a while!” Tayah cheered as she wrapped around your leg.

“Yeah! He said you had something important to do that would take a while,” Ringo added.

“You’ll still have time for us though, won’t you?” Tayah asked, looking up at you with pleading eyes. You giggled at them before bending down, wrapping them in a big hug.

“Of course I will. Do you not know what I’m here for?”

“No, momma and poppa wouldn’t tell us. They said it was up to you if you wanted us to know.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what,” you said, looking at them both. “I’ll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret. No one outside the palace can know. Only us, your parents, and Codo. So, can you keep a secret?”

“Yes!” they both answered together. You giggled again, and motioned them to lean in.

“Aunty y/n is pregnant.” Tayah’s eyes lit up at your words, but Ringo made a face.

“Yay!”

“Ew.”

You laughed at their reactions, both of them drastically different.

“She’s having a baby,” Tayah said, turning to Ringo. “That’s not gross.”

“Yes it is. Babies are gross. And they stink.”

“You’re gross and you stink!” The two started arguing and so you stepped between them to keep them from fighting. You looked down at both with a small look of warning, they knew you’d tell their parents if they didn’t behave.

“Now remember, no one outside the palace can know, okay?”

“Yes aunty y/n,” they said, and you smiled at them. You stood up and nodded towards the doors, and they eagerly ran over. You followed them inside where Codo, Ahni, and Kwol were waiting to greet you.

“Enjoy your flight here?” Kwol asked, and you nodded.

“About as much as I normally do.”

“Are you excited?” Ahni questioned, but you shook your head.

“I’m going to be cooped up in the palace for months doing nothing but political things. I think I might lose my mind after the first two weeks.”

“It’s not that bad,” Kwol countered. “You did it before.”

“Before I wasn’t used to being in battle almost constantly. Now, I’d much rather be on the battlefield than in a meeting about the state of our planet.”

“Well, our people need you as well. You are the one who inherited the throne.”

“We both did. You became the second in command under the king, and when he was killed, you automatically became king.”

“Well I wasn’t born with the future title of king,” he countered.

“Nor was I born with the future title of queen. If my father hadn’t brought me here, I never would have become queen. I wouldn’t be here right now, having this child,” you retorted, hand subconsciously moving to your stomach.

“None of us would be,” Ahni said. “I doubt anyone else would have broken the tradition and let Kwol marry me instead, and Codo would never have come here. The twins wouldn’t have been born if it wasn’t for me and Kwol’s love.”

“That’s true,” Kwol agreed. “I’m glad the galaxy brought us together, I think my life would be miserable without everyone.”

“I don’t think it would be miserable,” you countered, “just different. I would still be a Jedi, and I would likely still know Codo. I just wouldn’t know either of you.”

“Yeah, that sounds absolutely miserable. A life without me? Come on, I’m like the best person you know,” Kwol said. You snorted in amusement at that, rolling your eyes.

“The best at getting on my nerves.”

“You love me, don’t deny it.”

“Oh I’m not denying it, I’m just reluctantly agreeing.” You turned to Codo then, raising a brow in question. “And why exactly are you here? Not that I don’t want you around, but I also wasn’t aware you were coming.”

“To help you settle in, of course, my child,” he said with a smile. “This is a very big change, and I want to make sure my ad’ika is comfortable.”

“Well, I appreciate it,” you smiled back. “Stay for as long as you wish.”

“I would stay here the entire time, if possible, but unfortunately the Council won’t allow that. I should be here for the first week, but then I’ll have to rely on visits.”

“Anything is enough, even just holocalls.”

“Speaking of holocalls,” Kwol said, “I have a meeting with some of the city board members, would you care to join us?”

“Do I have the option to say no?”

“Well, technically yes, but I’d just sit in the same room as you and make you listen anyway.”

“Then sure, I’ll sit in,” you said with a sigh. You had hoped for a little bit of time before getting thrown into everything, but unfortunately, you weren’t granted that wish today.

“Great! It’s in five minutes, I’ll be in the normal meeting room.”

“Seriously? That’s all the time I get to prepare? I might as well just walk with you,” you said with an eye roll.

“Even better,” he said with a grin, and you sighed as he started to walk away. You gave Codo a look and he just chuckled.

“Have fun,” he said, starting to head down the hall. Ahni shrugged to you before taking the kids and heading outside. You just let out a groan before turning to join Kwol, not happy about already having to sit through a meeting.

“Ah, Queen Monako, what a lovely surprise,” the board leader said when the holocall began. “King Barren hadn’t informed us that you would be joining.”

“I didn’t know I was either until he told me five minutes ago,” you grumbled, shooting Kwol a glare.

“Well, I’m glad you could join. We have some very important things to discuss. King Barren?”

“We seem to be running a little low on funds at the moment, and there are two major organizations that are taking up more than we can spare. We need to decide which one to cut funds for, and how long we’ll be doing so.”

“Which two are you referring to?” you asked.

“The military and schooling,” he replied. “The military includes the military academy, which is the main reason this is even being debated. If it didn’t, then we would have chosen to cut funds for it.” You bit the inside of your cheek, both options were very important. The military and academy ensured that, with your membership in the Republic, you’d be protected in any case of an attack. Though Dohbar hadn’t seen battle since King and Queen Monako were killed, you always wanted to be prepared.

“King Barren says that it is a necessity to keep funding for our military and academy, that the planet's safety and protection is a priority. But schooling for our children and young citizens should also be a priority,” the board leader explained.

“What would happen if we cut funds to the schooling system?” you asked, and the board leader gave a slightly shocked look before speaking.

“Forgive me for my words and attitude, but you can’t be seriously considering cutting schooling funds.”

“I need to know the consequences of each before I can make my decision,” you countered. “So please, tell me what would happen.”

“The schools would have to end most, if not all, sports, clubs, and group activities,” he explained. “We wouldn’t have the money to maintain stadiums, equipment, and large group transportation.”

“And if we cut funds to the military?” you asked, looking at Kwol.

“Our weapons wouldn’t be able to be upgraded to keep up with new technology. The academy wouldn’t be able to train properly. They’d have to resort to imitations of blasters and canons, we wouldn’t be able to supply ammo for real training.”

“But the academy isn’t as important as regular schooling! We have enough soldiers if something were to happen. We can afford to lose the academy training for a couple years, but we can’t lose regular schooling!”

“Every year, every month, countless numbers of soldiers retire, and countless numbers join or graduate from the academy. It’s a steady flow, and without funding, it will break. I’m sure your school plays are not nearly as important as our planet’s safety.”

“It’s not just the plays, it’s all the events. All group activities. Things that bring people together, create unity and friendships!”

“The military is the one thing we can rely on in emergencies. If we get attacked, I don’t think a local sports event would save us.”

“Enough,” you said, interrupting their argument. “Both are very vital to our planet. Are we sure there aren't any other options of things we can cut funding to? Things that aren’t nearly as important and would add up to the cost to keep funding to both the military and the schools?”

“No, we can’t stand to lose anything else. It would take too much to bring in enough money,” Kwol said, shaking his head.

“What if we only cut half of the funds to both?”

“Then we’d lose more than necessary.” You brought your hand up to your forehead, leaning into it as you thought. This wasn’t simple, and you had to make sure you made the right choice. Cutting military funds in the middle of a war was far from smart, but the children still needed school.

“When does this need to be decided?”

“Today. This is our third and final meeting about it,” the board leader said. You glared at Kwol then, and he looked away.

“You brought me in during the last meeting and didn't mention anything about this sooner?”

“I’m sorry, but you were busy and everything with…well, the situation. I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“And this isn’t overwhelming me now?”

“Look, a decision must be made. I’ll give you two a few minutes to discuss,” the board leader says before leaving the holocall.

“Both are terrible ideas.”

“But we’re in the middle of a war. Keeping funds to the military is the best option.”

“But Dohbar isn’t even directly involved. The only thing that connects us to the war is being a part of the Republic.”

“Yes, but that makes us a target.”

“No one has made a threat to the planet in years. Our military can survive with losing a few members.”

“You can’t be serious! The schools don’t need to have all the extra things!”

“Yes they do, Kwol. Do you remember when we were in school? How everyone had at least one thing they were a part of? How that helped us to connect with people and find ourselves?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“No, Kwol. The schools need the money. But don’t worry, I have another solution.” You turned to the holocall, the board leader returning. He looked anxious as he sat, and you briefly glanced at Kwol before speaking.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” you began, “we’re going to keep funding for the schools the same, and reduce the funds for the military. However, funds for the academy will remain the same.”

“But how-”

“We will cut funds for the nature preservation,” you cut the board leader off. “Our wildlife will survive without it, but we must be extra responsible. We will also cut funds for off planet travel. Off world vacations aren’t important enough, and if people have business, they can take royal transports instead of casual travel ships. Would that be enough?”

“Yes, but are you sure about this?” Kwol asked. “People might be upset about the off world travel.”

“It’s the best decision we can make. The academy is too important, and so is the schooling. We can afford to fall back on weaponry. Besides, technology doesn’t improve that fast. I doubt we’ll fall behind, if only a little.”

“I agree, this is the best decision,” the board leader said. “Thank you, Queen Monako. Unfortunately, I must begin the funding cuts and transfers. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.” The holocall ends, and you lean back in your chair.

“I’ll enjoy it if I don’t have any other official business to do,” you mumbled to yourself. Kwol heard you, however, and let out a small chuckle.“Oh, y/n,” he said, standing from his seat and looking down at you. “I’ll let you have a fifteen minute break, but there is so much more to do.” You just groaned in response, bringing your hands up to cover your face. Kwol leaves the room, letting you have your fifteen minutes of peace before dragging you into more royal duties.

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nyruratchet · 1 year

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The Edge of No Tomorrow

I’m struggling. I don’t get this world I’m in and feel like I’m living someone else’s story. People I love are passing away left and right; leaving me here feeling more alone day by day. I’m working at a company that doesn’t care about it employees. Shocker, a capitalistic US company that cares more about profit that the life of their workers.

I honestly don’t want to be here anymore. Everytime I get home, I get comforted initially at being away from people and lessening my anxiety. But once the loneliness sets in, I’m on the verge of tears. Why can’t I find someone to love. Why does every guy I express interest in, run for the hills. Clingy? No. Shallow? No. Walled up. Sort of, but I have no trouble letting someone in. I just don’t get it.

Then to top that lonely boy sundae off, I have…well HAD a “friend” throw me a way like trash. Like I wasn’t even worth his time. Actually, there is no ‘like’ involved. He literally said he’s not invested in a friendship with me and has no time for the fuckery. But when asked to explain or have a conversation about whatever brought him to this conclusion, N just dismissed me and said we can be “cordial” when we have to be in each other’s presence. I’m sorry, but when someone disrespects me, I’m not being cordial. I remove myself from the situation completely. And that’s where my mind keeps going. I need to remove myself from everything completely. I WANT to remove myself. I don’t really care about tomorrow anymore. In fact, the prospect of having to go through one more tomorrow feeling like this is nightmare; what on earth is there to look forward to? The struggle to make ends meet? The struggle to do music like I love? The struggle to find fulfillment in the mundane wretched existence I’m currently in? Doesn’t make sense.

My dear friend who’s in prison can even find something the brighten to prospects of each of his days. But I can’t. I’ve been thrown away so many times and discarded, it is hard for me to imagine anyone missing me when I’m gone. And if there is someone, they wont miss me very long. My Grammy would. My mommy, daddy and court court will. But besides them, I’m not important to anyone. In fact, the only 2 reasons I’m even still alive is because it would break my Grammy’s heart and cuz I haven’t found the perfect way for me to do it yet. I need it painless and quick. In my sleep would be great.

Would you miss me? I don’t really know who I’m asking because I know no one will read this unless I post and share on social media like I’m pushing drugs. I don’t even know why I bother putting anything out there. I do music and a music video, a handful of friends support and buy them. Seriously, I could count the sales on one hand. Streaming? HAH, that’s all money as well. Gotta put money in to get anything out. I been trying for years to just get a foot in the door. I use to make CDs and cassette tapes to send to A&R at record labels. "That’s not the way it’s done anymore.” I would hear them say. Or, “development deals aren’t a thing anymore.” Well FUCK ME then.

That brings me to the other issue: fucking. Sex is my drug. Not proud of it but also, there could be worse addictions. I mean, there could be better ones too. This one requires me to be dependent on the acceptance of someone else; the desire of someone else; the mind of someone else. So if I can find someone to fuck or fuck me, great. But come on, there’s no consistency there. So, many times I find myself in a dry spell, needing my drug with no fix in sight. No how pathetic is it for an addict to not even be able to FIND his drug of choice. I’m not saying pay for it, FIND it. Cuz this drug is free, for those who can find/get it. But as I have already stated, guys don’t like me. And if they do, they have a hurtful way of expressing that attraction/affection. It has gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a cute guy without wanting to cry. Because when he looks at me me, I know he doesn’t see a desirable being. And when I do find someone who has feelings for me, they are taken already. So, can those feelings even be trusted? Nope. They already told someone else the same things they’re telling me. I’m just some new catch. Someone to make them feel like they still got “IT” (whatever ‘it’ is”). Recently, there was a guy I connected with on Grindr. He was so interested in me, and he was beautiful. I just KNEW he was fake. But he gave me his number. Then came the cat and mouse chase. He was never available. Then a couple weeks went buy and he was “in a relationship”. Yeah, he had no time for ME. I was brokenhearted. So again, I figured, he was just faking and wanted attention. Well, a year went by. I walk to up to work, and there he is. I knew exactly when I saw his face. Long story short, he told me he was still in a relationship but had no issue fooling around with me in a bathroom before dropping me off to my hotel like a cheap peace of ass. Then after saying all the right things, I get a text the next day. ‘Yeah, we can’t hang like I said. I feel bad for what I did. Sorry for leading you on…’ blah blah blah. Fell for it. And the sad part is, I’d do it again. No guys who look like that, are successful like that, or say things like that have ever thought I was in their league. So, to know he was a real person and he actually was interested in me a year ago; but GOD hated me so much he sent him another boy right before I could meet him, broke my heart and spirit even more. He could have been the love of my life. And just like that, fate said I wasn’t allowed it. I wasn’t worthy of it and apparently am still not.

I just keep trying to make SENSE of my existence and I can't do it. Could I continue going on this lonely path for years holding on to the notion that my time is coming? NO. I won't make it. I have wanted to be in love since I was little. I have wanted a singing career since I was little. Who's life am I living? I DID THE WORK. Went to college; went on auditions; did the residency training; moved to New York; worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over my head...I just, don't know what I did wrong. At least, not one major thing I did. I have tons of regrets in hindsight, but who hasn't made mistakes right?

I should just end it here. But I type all of this to say that I see not future for me. I'm standing at the edge of no tomorrow.

#feelings #mental health

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geistlysworld · 2 years

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Anytime someone recommends me a show, book or film I need to remember days like this. I used to think I was "too mature" for cartoons, I'm a self-entitled narcissist basically. I've now watched Over The Garden Wall, Avatar The Last Airbender and Gravity Falls all because I found myself feeling very emotionally vulnerable and needed something to comfort me but damn all of these shows are 10/10. I first watched Over the Garden Wall when I spent all night tossing and turning. I got up at 5am and went downstairs to sleep on the sofa for a change of scenery. Instead I put on the TV and streamed OtGW, binging it before anyone else in the house got up. I guess I forgot how good cartoons could get, or took this one as an exception, because I then fell back into my own routine.

Five years later, I just finished Gravity Falls after two friends said I would love it and... Well I finished it with tears in my eyes. As someone who has gone on record with the toxic masculinity of "I'm not a crier" the show moved me. As someone who grew up without American cartoons besides seeing them at friends' houses, I now wish I had programmes like these in my formative years and was able to be apart of the fandoms as it was airing. Thanks cartoons for showing me my immaturity, that great stories can be told no matter the target audience or medium. I've heard that Gravity Falls requires multiple watches, so I guess I know what I'll be doing next summer. In the meantime I've been told Steven Universe, She-Rah and Dragon Prince are worth a watch...

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theheadgirl · 2 years

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31 Days of Fear, hosted by @hp-fearfest

Day 10: Agony (read on AO3 here)

CW: torture, imprisonment

"Crucio!"

Percy screams again, though his voice is long gone at this point. He has no idea how long he’s been trapped down here, strapped to a chair, spelled blind, arms tied behind him. He hasn't felt his fingers in days. He only knows he still has fingers because he can feel the pressure of his nails digging into the meat of his palms whenever his hands involuntarily clench into fists every time he gets hit with the Cruciatus Curse.

Like now, for instance.

The spell drops, and though the pain is gone, his muscles still tense and twitch like they can fight off the next round.

"Are you ready to talk yet?" the voice asks, casual, like they’re at a cafe over coffee. "Or are we going for the record?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Percy says, or tries to. His voice sounds like it's had holes punched through it. He shakes his head, repeating himself. "I don't know, I don't know."

"Fine. Let's try again." How can he sound so cool, so composed? Percy supposes it's easier when you get to leave, get to have lunch or take a shower. He’s learned that begging or pleading won't have an effect, so he tenses himself instead, even though it won't help.

It doesn't. He gave up any pretense of pride or dignity long ago, although some part of him still recoils when he feels hot tears burning down his cheeks, when he hears the ragged sobs escaping. He hates his unknown assailant for doing this to him, and he hates himself for being here.

The spell drops, and for a moment, the only sound is Percy, dry heaving, choking on his own sobs.

"He's lying," another voice says. Percy’s shoulders jerk up in surprise, which sends a fresh wave of pain up his back and spine. "Aren't you?"

He's right there. Percy can feel the other man’s breath hot against his cheek, and he wants to retch.

"When you say you don't know," the second voice continues. "You think you're protecting your pathetic little life, your friends. But while you're here, dying, your family is celebrating. Your brother is getting married, I hear. No one misses you. No one is coming for you."

It huffs out of him, the little whine, and he swallows it back. All the same, Percy can’t miss the satisfied chuckle of the newcomer, and it makes him sick.

It's not true. It's not true. It can't be true. He’s going to be okay. They’re going to get him out of here.

"I don't know what you want to know," Percy whispers. He almost wishes they'd use the Cruciatus Curse again.

"Here's the thing, Weasley." A hand lands heavily on Percy’s shoulder, and squeezes. He can't stop the ragged howl that tears from him as agony races down his arm and back, spiderwebbing through his whole body. "My mate is inclined to believe you. He thinks you don't know, that you've got your head so far up the Minister’s arse that you wouldn't know a mole if you saw one."

Percy didn't think he had any tears left, but he can feel them on his cheeks as the pain keeps lancing through him, pulsing out in waves from the tight grip on his shoulder. "But I know you. You're smart. You're quiet." The man’s grip tightens. Percy retches, but there's nothing left in his stomach to bring up, so he’s coughing on bile. "You know who we're looking for." Breath suddenly ghosts across his ear, his cheek, warm and unsettlingly minty.

He brushed his teeth before he came down here.

Percy can’t put his finger on why, out of everything, that is so upsetting. Maybe because it's been ages since he’s been able to brush his teeth, or take a shower, or do anything besides sit here in an increasingly filthy suit.

Or maybe it's a reminder that he's a man, just like Percy, and he still has to brush his teeth before he comes to torture someone.

"And I'm going to get that knowledge out of you, one way or another." The hand vanishes from his shoulder, and he nearly cries again from the relief.

His words sink in. "What?"

"What are you up to, Yaxley?" the first man asks, but he doesn't sound concerned, just mildly annoyed that someone else barged in on his torture time.

"Just a quicker way to get what we want, since the traditional methods aren't working."

The energy of the room shifts, and Percy catches the scent of ozone, the prelude to a spell. He thinks of Audrey, of Oliver, his family. He closes his eyes and tenses his muscles. It won’t help. It never helps. But it’s all he can do.

#hpfearfest2022 #31daysoffearfest #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #percy weasley #cw: torture #cw: imprisonment

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boogisstuff · 2 years

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Izuku has always known he was going to be a hero. It was all he ever wanted, to save people with a smile.

He had a great quirk for it too! The ability to enter an unbreakable from, with super strength, able to move in absolute silence, wings, and so fast you'd think he was teleporting!

If only he didn't turn to stone whenever someone looked at him.

*Izuku has a weeping angel quirk. When he turns into his angel form, he has super strength, unbelievable speed, wings, and his skin becomes a near unbreakable stone-textured substance.

It's made of pure energy, and thus takes a lot of energy to create. That's where the parasitic part of his quirk comes in; by touching someone he can steal their energy to fuel his abilities. Because his angel form is made of energy, he can even travel through cameras! The biggest downside, however, is he can not move when being watched. (Because watching a particle affects its movement or whatever.) He also can't leave his angel form when being watched either.

: readmore:

*Discovered the "drain" aspect of his quirk when he instinctively touches and drains someone after overusing his quirk.

*Being small children, he drains more than he needs and more than his victim could take.

*They're sent to the hospital in urgent condition.

"I told you it was a fucking assignation quirk! And you're going to let him around other children?"

°°°

"Sensi, what does ass-gin-a, assnigaton, assassination mean?"

The adults stilled. Ito-sensi turned to him slowly when it became apparent no one else was going to answer him.

"Midoriya-chan." Bending down to his level, she smiled at him, but it looked funny. Like she was just moving her lips up, not actually smelling. It set his edgy nerves on overdrive.

"When you're.. a statue, can you hear what goes on around you?"

He nodded. "It sounds funny though. It's hard to see too."

He still didn't see how that answered his question.

Ito-sensi opened her mouth again, but another voice beat her to the punch.

"An assassin is someone who gets paid to hurt a certain someone," Ryuu-Sensi spat.

"Hey, Midoriya is kind of scary looking."

He wasn't wrong. At first glance the statue looked like a cherubim that merely resemble their classmate, with wings. And clothes. But as you got closer, looked, actually looked(because honestly who admires those kind of statues besides old people) you started to notice little, uneasy details.

Pointy teeth, fangs their teacher called them, peeking out a nervous smile.

Claws- half hidden, frozen mid-fiddling.

Eyes that seemed to pull you in, stare into your soul. He never could look into them for too long.

"Fucking whatever, just don't take your eyes off him."

Stupid Deku, thinking he was better then him.

Training Camp Ark

"Koata," he whispered, tearing up. He turned to Momo. "The little boy- he's alone but I know where he is."

The familiar feeling of his Weeping form crawled throughout his body. "Close your-"

"Wait!" The vice president pulled something out her arm. A voice recorder.

She held down a button.

"Close your eyes."

Then another.

"Run."

"Are you ok?"

"Help!"

Finished, she held the recorder out to him, still turned away. "Is there anything else you want to say?"

Half transformed his voice came out warped, garbled, and barley more than a loud whisper, but it was enough.

"I will save you."

•••

For the second time that night Koata's secret place was invaded. The man in the mask and cloak didn't have katsudon.

He wanted to run, but the hulking figure blocked the path. Not that it would hasve mattered- he was literally frozen in fear.

All he could do was watch as the villain raised his fist.

Koata knew who it was before he mentioned how he slaughtered his parents. He knew before he took off his mask.

The katsudon the green boy had brought for him had long since gone cold, untouched, from the cool mountain breeze that cut through his clothes.

It's smell wafted in his nose, not unlike family dinners with his family.

Cold and alone.

"Mom… Dad…"

Muscular's fist came down.

At least he'd get to see them again.

The blow was jaring, stone cold under his hands when he landed. Unsurprisingly it hurt. Surprisingly he was not dead. Or injured, save some blooming bruises.

Most surprisingly a stone angle was curled around him. Wings covering the child, his head tucked to the stone chest. Arms holding him just to tight. Finger holding down a button on a voice recorder.

"Close your eyes."

He recognized the boy's face from before, albeit a little off, but that wasn't his voice.

"Close your eyes."

With a laugh, Muscular stomped down on the beautifully carved stone wings and Koata listened to the woman's voice.

"Close your eyes."

The stone didn't crack, the voice kept repeating. Then his cage of stone and safety was gone. Muscular screamed.

"I' will save you."

•••

Izuku let go of Koata as soon as Muscular blinked. Or was it winked. Did it count if he only has one eye?

Whatever.

He didn't want to let go of the boy, but there were flaws in his (human? Statue?) shield. Once Muscular stopped playing around, he wouldn't be able to stop him from exploiting those gaps.

So he struck the first chance he got.

He could move meters in a literal blink, the villain was only a few feet away.

Muscle strands started to wind up his legs the moment he landed on the villains muscular shoulders. That was fine, it'd take 2 seconds to catch him. This would be over in an instant.

His hand clamped around the one good eye, acadentaly digging his talons into the sides of Muscler's face.

What a tragedy.

He felt the murders shoulders rise as he inhaled, preparation to scream. Breathing from his chest, not stomach. That was good, better for the body.

It took longer than he hoped to drain the villain's energy. He didn't want to go to fast as to kill him, and he had more energy than he expected.

One and a half seconds. But man, did he feel sooo much better.

Between that and the lamp he had after training, he wasn't starving anymore, but if he broke out of his form he could tell he'd be done.

"Are you hurt?"

Yamomo's voice carried out from the recorder, deep and slow. At least to him. In his Angel form everything was always so slow.

He'd retrieved the recorder from where he'd left it with Koata, playing his final message, before Muscular's body hit the ground.

As much as it pained him to have to stay still, he had to make sure Koata was ok before he moved him.

Slower than Cementos's lectures, the boy managed to tell him no, instinctively trying look at his savur.

That won't do.

Izuku was perched behind him, so he wasn't stone. Yet. With the utmost care and patience he gently held the back of the child's head, turning him back to face forward.

"Close your eyes."

He scooped up the smaller boy-hey he's not the smallest this time- carefully bracing his head in the crook of his neck. Whiplash could be a bitch.

They were back at the camp before the dust settled.

===

He landed in the superhero pose, which honestly was horrible on the knees, but great for breaking him out of his shell.

#i backed out of time-draining because I'm a coward #and hadn't met eri yet #my hero academia #tears of stone au #fanfiction

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jakeyuni · 2 years

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devil’s advocate | p. jongseong

“i’m the devil’s advocate, you don’t know the half of it.”

SYNOPSIS › park jongseong was known to be incredibly fucking insatiable … you just wish that someone could have found the chance to tell you that park jongseong was also a fucking menace. your menace, nonetheless.

PAIRINGS › jay x fem!reader

TROPE › strangers + best friends —> lovers

GENRES › fluff, angst, suggestive

WARNINGS › profanity, mentions of rumors & self doubt, LOTS of flirting, pet names, making out, mutual pining

WORD COUNT › 4.5k+

PLAYLIST › devil’s advocate — the neighbourhood, anti-romantic — txt, double take — dhruv, lost — frank ocean

AUTHOR’S NOTE › yay to the release of this fic !! i love love how it turned out & i hope it makes you melt and gush while reading, just as much as i did while writing it :)

park jongseong was known to be incredibly fucking insatiable. - as said by many of the girls at your school, of course. you, on the other hand? didn’t find him so intriguing. sure, he was the son of your school district’s ceo; he also had the looks, mannerisms, and grades to go with his entire image. other than that, you never understood what people found so enticing about him.

you just wish that someone could have found the chance to tell you that park jongseong was also a fucking menace.

you didn’t know what to think of him when you heard that he was a huge fuckboy that used girls like they were toys; how he was all ‘daddy’s money’ and was mooching off his wealth for his own advantage. explanatorily adding to why people assumed that’s why he had such a clean record - because whenever he got into ‘trouble’ he would always have an upper hand and was able to have his slate wiped clean just by the snap of his father’s fingers.

the unfortunate part is that you had to find this piece of knowledge on your own. being paired up with jay to work on your literature final was something you definitely weren’t looking forward to. but you also couldn’t say you didn’t expect something like this to happen sooner or later.

you didn’t know if it was karma for being so invested in the drama and eating it up just because of how stressful school was. still, you figured that the least you could do is put up with jay until the final was over. plus, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about whether or not jay and his personality lived up to his rumors.

having exchanged numbers with jay to map out your working schedule and locations gone by smoothly, you thought he was a normal guy. suddenly you felt bad for being so invested in all the talk that revolved around him. regardless, you found yourself shaking off your guilty sentiments.

a week after exchanging numbers and discussing, you both planned to meet up at your house at 6pm on a friday after school. the time might have not been ideal but you wanted to get started as soon as possible. the reason being that other than you being studious and serious when it came to projects and your education in general, as was jay - which you’d find out later on.

so, here you were. jay sitting idly beside you in your bed with both of your laptops laid out on top of your laps and piles of books from shakespeare, aristotle, and other philosophers as such scattered across the expanse of your bed. two hours in, and you were exhausted. you barely talked to jay during this time as you didn’t know what to say, plus the both of you were so invested in completing the first part of your final you’d planned to finish today - efficiently, that talking never crossed either of your minds.

you were just glad there wasn’t any awkwardness lingering in the air. that was until you found yourself staring at jay. not really knowing why, but it was like your eyes had a mind of their own. you figured it was the exhaustion taking over you. nevertheless, you didn’t tear your eyes away from his figure.

okay, so maybe. just maybe, you kind of understood why everyone was so smitten over this boy.

it could be his half sleeve of tattoos on his left forearm, you thought. eyes wandering over the expanse of his broad chest all the way down to his buff arms and veiny hands.

or the way his one cheek slightly lift upwards to subconsciously form a smirk. it could even be the pouty face he makes when he’s deep in concentration. maybe it’s because of the way his walk is so elegant and prideful it screams ‘rich.’ or perhaps it’s his cat-like eyes and how his soft hair tousles in his palms when he extends his hand to push it back every now and then. and -

“what’re you staring at, doll?”

shit.

god. you hated him. you ignored his nonchalant use of the word over text for your own insanity: “yeah, sounds good doll,” or “whatever works for you, babe.” you hated how he so easily managed to slip such intimate pet names from his lips as if they held no meaning. most of all, you hated how you practically internally melted at the choice of his words. you couldn’t take it anymore.

so maybe park jongseong was insatiable. and you hated yourself for it, more than you claimed to dislike him. because in reality, you really just resented the effect he had on you. it was so effortless and you’d never seen someone pull off flirting (if you could even call it that), quite the way jay did.

even then, maybe him being so attractive tied into all the shit talk that surrounded his name. you didn’t think much of anything anyone told you at the time and deciphered that they were just sick and twisted rumors. but jay’s flirtatious ways only further indulged your curious state. and now you were starting to question your choice of giving him the benefit of the doubt. if he wasn’t’ such a fuckboy then why was he referring to you as ‘doll’ and ‘babe’ so easily? maybe it was better for you to play it safe after all. you didn’t want to get into something you could never live up to.

“i’m not staring at you, jay. just waiting to see if you’re done with your part yet. i’m hungry.” you say in a mono-toned voice, staring at your screen trying to avoid his gaze.

“m’kay well, i’m done now. wanna order some food? it’s on me.” he responds, shifting closer to you, his head dipped slightly so he could get a better look at your face under all the hair that covered your side profile.

you almost wince at the proximity. “yeah.” you say. “but i can pay, don’t worry about it.” your breath slightly hitches and you mentally slapped yourself. keep it together. “i’ll order us some takeout, is that okay with you?“

“yup.” he responds, eyes never leaving your figure. you pull out your phone and go on the app. jay tells you his order and you add yours but before you can press ‘order,’ jay grabs your phone out of your hands.

“hey! give that back, what’re you doing?” you ask surprised and confused.

“you’re not paying. i’m adding my credit card and charging it to pay.” before you can oppose his offer, he’d already pressed ‘order.’

your heart panged at his generosity. you don’t know why but you felt guilty. jay could sense your hesitance by the way your face contorted. “hey, it’s alright really. it’s the least i could do. you offered for us to work at your house first anyway.”

at this, you nod. but your thoughts never stop spiraling. you had to get some answers, and the silence while waiting for your food to arrive was deafening. not knowing anything about who the real jay was because of the seemingly infinite and different things everyone was saying about him was killing you.

with your sudden surge of confidence, you shift and turn your body so you're facing jay completely. “do you know what people say about you?” his face turns from a curious one to a taken-aback one, eyebrows furrowing at your bluntness. your voice falters a bit before continuing. “i-i’m sorry i didn’t mean for it to come out that way. it’s just that i’ve heard so many things about you and almost all of them have been negative.” you lick your lips before continuing. “what’s bugging me the most, is that it seems to me that people have it all wrong about you and you don’t appear to be the type of boy they describe as. sure, that doesn’t explain why you call me pet names and address me like i’m your girlfriend but-”

“yeah i know.” he says chuckling. your eyes widen at his humorous mood change. you thought he’d be upset. “i know they talk shit about me and how they think i’m a drug dealer, or that i’m in a gang, beat people up, and more. new rumors and shit about me is spread every week. there’s nothing i can do about it though, it’s not like caring will change their views of me. so i just ignore it.”

to say you were in awe of his intellectuality and how strong-minded he was an understatement. it’s so fucked up. the way people believe others so easily. all for a couple of entertaining minutes of gossip. never paying any kind to how detrimental lies could be to someone.

“gosh. i’m sorry jay. really, i feel bad for assuming and believing all this shit. i know you’re not-“

“shh it’s okay, truly. i just appreciate being friends with someone who gets my point of view, y’know?”

jay notices the way your head snaps upward and how your eyes suddenly meet his upon him calling you his friend. while your eyes focus on his to sense any ounce of fake sincerity, all you see is his smirk and genuine fondness blooming over his face.

and with the ring of your door bell signaling the arrival of your food, you realize that this project was definitely going to mark the beginning of a blossoming friendship.

you’d never guessed working on a project with jay would lead you to sitting where you were now: in your local favorite café spot with jay that you always went to. so how’d you go from pretty much being skeptical of jay’s every movement to being his best friend? let me lay it out for you.

jay and you aced your final project and the presentation combined. you remember the way he sent a knowingly not-so-discreet victory-rooted wink at you when you looked at him across the classroom just as your teacher announced some of her favorite presentations. you guys came in at first place, obviously.

the following week jay would insist the both of you study together for the rest of your finals. to which of course, you obliged. you two would visit the same café almost every day of the week. spending hours learning more about the other.

from all those café dates you came to know that jay, unbeknownst to you prior, was quite the fashionista. there was never a day he looked even mildly ‘bad.’ it was just simply a word that didn’t associate with jay, even if he was wearing a simple black hoodie and grey sweatpants. and to his delight, he never failed to notice your lingering stares at him whenever you thought he wasn’t looking. but he definitely did notice. and though you may look away every time jay teased you for blushing and trying to pry answers out of you, you were hoping he had noticed your stares. just because that’s how you were. not one to say much, but always leaving hints of your growing feelings for jay here and there.

you also came to learn that besides jay being a flirt and teasing you constantly, he was a sweetheart. always asking you if you’d eaten, carrying your books for you, scolding you when you’d procrastinate, paying for all of your food together and never insisting otherwise, helping you with your god awful math homework, always driving you home, etc.

but most memorably, jay lending you his baggy hoodies and sweatpants when you would spontaneously sleep over at his place after going on a late night drive together in his car; his r&b playlist blasting through the speakers as he placed his hand on your thigh so naturally it made you jump the first time he did it (not before asking you if it was okay, of course).

your guess was that the smooth beats and the way you were constantly staring at his defined and gorgeous side profile gave him the confidence he needed to also look fondly at you before making his move.

but anyways, back to the café you were at right now.

“god, i’m so glad finals are over.” jay says as he stretches his limbs and does that oh so attractive arms behind the shoulders thing while yawning a bit.

“mm, me too. i just, cant believe we became friends because of a fucking english project out of everything. isn’t that kind of insane. like what if we’d never become friends?”

jay hums at your affirmation. “i mean … honestly? i don’t even know where i’d be right now. this is gonna sound cheesy — but i’m so grateful for you y/n. i guess i’d just still be admiring you from afar.” he spits out the last sentence rather quickly.

you raise a brow at his response. “what do you mean by that jay … ? ‘admiring you from afar?’”

“uhm nothing! just that i’ve always found you really pretty and …” jay’s train of thought was disrupted by your words.

“pretty? you think i’m pretty jay?”

“yeah, amongst other things. gosh you’re so oblivious, honestly y/n, you really think i flirt with every girl i come across. thought you wouldn’t ever give into the rumors.” jay scoffs at the sound of you gulping.

“that’s not what i meant, but no jay. you don’t understand,” you seethe. “you can’t just call me ‘doll’ and ‘darling’ and not expect me to be confused when i know for a fact that i’m not the first girl to be called any of those before.” your voice comes out a bit broken as you frustratedly run your hands through your locks.

“oh. i’m sorry i didn’t think the rumors would affect you the way they do, even if they are false. i should've reassured you. i guess i shouldn’t have expected you to know that i like you.” jay’s head drops at the confession and you’re barely able to make out what he said.

“i’m sorry, what was that?”

“you’re serious right .. please don’t make me repeat myself y/n.”

“jay, i am fucking serious, i don’t even know what you said or if i heard you correctly because i swear for a second i thought you sai-”

“i like you y/n!” jay blurts out a bit too loud. subsequently looking around and meeting questionable gazes from other regulars in the café. he grows more embarrassed by the second. it’s rare that the park jongseong becomes embarrassed and blushes because of a girl. which he can’t even recall the last time someone made him feel so loved and gave him butterflies at every given moment. it was now or never.

his feelings become more clear to him by the second as he regains his confidence and grabs your hands. your mouth is agape and pupils are blown wide open as you stare at jay in disbelief.

“you … like me? like — like-like me? because like i don’t even know jay … do you hear yourself right now?” you pause to collect yourself and break eye contact. you literally pinch yourself in an effort to make sure that — yes! this was in fact real. and park jongseong, the school heartthrob. the boy of your absolute dreams. which is ironic because you actively swore you hated him upon first meet, just fucking confessed to you.

jay becomes a bit upset at the doubtfulness lacing your voice. “of course i like you y/n. how could i not?” if only you could see yourself from his eyes. your beauty, your acts of service, along with the awkwardness and dorky habits that emitted from your personality. all things that he admired about you and everything that made him realize why he was so smitten for you to begin with.

“i don’t know, i guess i’m just not used to getting this kind of attention. i’m also sort of self-conscious because i mean .. i never really pegged myself as the type of girl you’d come to like?” you sigh at your admission. hesitantly making eye contact with jay again as you look at him.

“please y/n. please believe me when i say you’re the most perfect girl i’ve ever met. everything about you makes me want to leave my past behind. to ignore all the shitty things that are said about me. especially when i have you by my side. makes me want to become a better person and spend every waking moment being the best possible version of myself. all because of you. all for you.”

you smile at his response and bite your lip, shyly nodding before going: “fuck it. i like you too jay. i like you so, so much that it’s’ concerning how much i find myself unable to stop thinking about you. i cant hide the way i feel any longer. i was going to confess sooner or later anyway.”

jay lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding at the sound of your confession. going to pull your hands closer to his and intertwine his fingers with your own as he caresses the side of your hand with his thumb. “gosh, y/n. i thought i was going to be left hanging by the girl of my dreams!” jay exclaims. dramatically grabbing at his chest to amplify the impact of your words.

you almost snort at his god-awful - but endearing, foolishness; opting to giggle instead. “‘girl of my dreams,’ geez jay we just confessed to each other. save the cheesiness for later, yeah?”

“hey! it’s never too soon to be cheesy.” you hum at his words. deciding to get up from your side of the booth and sit beside jay in his own booth as he slides further in, his back hitting the wall.

jay welcomes you with open arms. one arm slinging around your shoulder while the other wraps around your waist snuggly. you melt into jay’s touch as you play with his hand that’s dangling from the side of your shoulder. your head resting on his chest.

not a care in the world for the heavy eyes on the both of you or the stares of admiration from the regulars in the café. “i cant believe i finally got the chance to confess and do this” — jay motions to the position you both were currently in, — “with my girlfriend, nonetheless.”

you blush at jay’s use of the word girlfriend, turning around to press a quick peck to his lips, then turning back to lay your head on his chest. jay clearly satisfied but surprised, in turn, begins peppering flutters of kisses all over your face from behind. all while unbeknownst to him, your skin flushes like never before.

“me neither, boyfriend.”

“jay this better be good, because why in the literal hell are you calling me at three in the morning? you ask while attempting to rub the sleepiness out of your eyes. a yawn escaping your mouth, making jay chuckle from the other end of the line at your cuteness.

“i’m sorry! it’s a surprise ~.” he purposely drags out the ending of the word in hopes of convincing you to join him on his late night rendezvous and escaping a scolding from you later on. “be ready in 20. i’ll be waiting outside!” before you get a chance to respond, jay hangs up.

jay arrives to your place in his mercedes. and you think that maybe it’s the luxury of his car and the memories it brings back of your late night drives together. or the sudden rush of adrenaline that makes you excited for what’s to come. or perhaps it’s the man standing beside the car itself that makes your heart pang faster. jay’s dressed similarly to you. sweatpants and a black t-shirt hugging his muscled torso and arms. hair a bit messy but prettier than ever. you gulp at the sight.

likewise, jay mutters a quiet ‘oh fuck’ under his breath at the sight of you in all your sweatpants and hoodie (which is his by the way) glory. you don’t notice his staring until you come to him face to face and have to wave your hand in front of his face to check if he’s okay.

“you good, jay?” your eyes narrowing in confusion.

“mhm, just peachy,” he responds. rushing to open the car door for you. you don’t say anything at his promptness. but the way his voice cracks a bit gives you all the information you need to know about what he was thinking.

the ride to the unsaid location was calming for the most part, aside from your constant nagging to jay about where you were going. but he never budged. settling on moving his hand on your thigh to shut you up. a smirk forming upon his face as he looked at you every now and then. only for you to move your attention from his face to the scenery outside the window due to the tension. the stars gleaming brightly under the moonlight.

you cooed at the destination that jay had brought you to. a beautiful hill top that provided the prettiest view of the city beneath you. giving you the perfect sight from the highest peak of all the buildings and signs. all glimmering — despite the lack of light in the night. as jay opens the car door for you, you immediately jump into his arms and loop your arms around his neck, going to kiss him without a word said. despite your reluctance to separate, jay rubs your back and pulls away. “save more of that for later, mkay? i have something to show you right now.”

“fineeee.” you whine. jay intertwines your hands together before opening the trunk and taking out a basket with a blanket, sheets to lay on the grass, a speaker, along with your favorite snacks. he remembered what i like, you thought.

jay asks you to stand where you are while he assembles your little picnic set up; laying the sheets onto the grass and putting the speaker to the side. getting up, he wraps his arms around your waist from behind and leads you to the setup. sitting first with the blanket wrapped around his figure, he opens half of it so that you can sit in his lap. when you oblige, he wraps the blanket around the both of you before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“this is so .. perfect jay. i cant believe you did this for me.” jay caresses your neck mindlessly.

“of course, my love. i wanted to do something special for you. for our first date.”

“first date?” you reply.

“yes. well, i couldn’t let my baby think that our first date was when we confessed to each other at the cafe! no, that’s just our special place. our place that we’ll always go to no matter what.”

you swore you could cry at jay’s sincerity. the way his voice was always as sweet and gentle as honey when he spoke to you. the way everything about him radiated pure fondness for you. “gosh i am so in love with you, park jongseong. you know that, right?” you look up at him with gleaming eyes, a bit watery due to how admired you felt right in this moment.

“and i, my y/n, love you more than anything — more than anyone. you make me whole.”

“and you, make me complete. i love you too, park.”

“so much for not being cheesy y/n.”

“hey! you’re ruining the moment, i thought we were being cute, loser.” you say rolling your eyes.

“well, you’re always cute to me y/n.” jay states, one hand going to run through his hair.

“just shut up and kiss me already. can’t take your ass flirting anymore.” you spit out with a fake pout forging your lips.

“oh that, i’ll do.”

jay’s eyes flicker down to your lips as he cups your jaw. you move your body completely on top of jay’s lap and straddle him. languidly closing the distance between you two, hands finding themselves around his neck. jay kisses you so softly at first. taking his time to savor this moment of intimacy. your taste, your ragged breaths, and the expanse of your figure under the moonlight — making you look like an absolute ethereal angel whenever his eyes fluttered open to scan over your needy self.

but all that changed the moment you let out a slight whimper. jay thought you sounded so pretty and desperate, all for him. taking this opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. you tilted your head at his action to kiss him deeply. jay groans at this, and you smile into the kiss at the sound of him being pure putty under your touch. you begin moving your hands up at down his broad chest as his lower themselves down your back.

let’s just say that jay dropped you off right after sunrise so no one would suspect your absence. your clothes all messy and wrinkled more than they already were before you left, but you didn’t mind. jay pulls you in for one last kiss before making sure you enter your home safely.

and as you push your back against the front door to process all that had just happened with your head tilting upwards and eyes closed, you couldn’t help but think about how fucking lucky you were. how life is just as crazy and uncalled for as you’d ever imagined it to be.

so yeah, park jongseong was in fact a menace. a menace that never ceased his risky or impulsive actions, flirty words, endearing habits, and his nerdy rants. but at the very least, all of that was reserved just for you: his one and only love.

park jongseong, was your devil’s advocate. but in the best way possible. one that encouraged you to see a new and reborn side of yourself. you brought out the best in each other, with the perfect amount of balance.

and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

permanent tag list (send in an ask to be added!) : @giyyuzz

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maplerin99821 · 2 years

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Omg-

Let's say it's Lucifer's bday and the brothers weren't sure what to do-

Until mammon comes and gives them a perfect birthday plan that 100% will make Lucifer have the best bday ever.

So after they finished everything and successfully surprised Lucifer he asked how did they come up with the idea and all say that it was mammon's idea and he planned it all

Then Lucifer's smile drops and he goes "what are you..." And all of them were confused then Diavolo says "You 6 realize that...mammon is dead..right?"

And ofc they didn't believe him and one of them points at a wall while saying"what do you mean he's right the.." then they realized mammon wasn't there:,)

Yeah that wasn't mammon ghost or something it was just their brains lying to them that he was there but he wasn't;-;

trigger warning // death

NOOO THE TWIST 😭😭😭😭 KSJAJH I can imagine Lucifer's heartbreaking into pieces 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 BUT JUST IMAGINE KJHDJKHA I have this thought that whenever a demon dies (or even an angel), they would get reincarnated into a human in ANOTHER world or timeline, that means there's a possibility that they won't be able to look for then in the human world because they got reincarnated into another universe. (To make it angsty, ofc)

(I truly believe that there's a bunch of different universes out there with different people and even different timelines and such. I and my classmates would give all sorts of possibilities 'cause imagine having an alternate universe is cool.) BUT LET'S GET BACK, IMAGINE that Mammon's soul is ready to be reincarnated into another universe, but decided to leave a parting gift for his brothers. SO yes, ghost Mammon is possible for this au. The younger brothers would probably think that it's weird at first because they know Mammon is gone, that their big loving brother is never going to come back— But Satan interrupted their thoughts and said that maybe, just maybe this is the result of their coping. Mammon wanted to cry because it's hurting him, but he has to do this, and since it's almost Lucifer's birthday— that can be Mammon's last parting gift. Helping the brothers with everything, making the atmosphere a little bit brighter because Mammon doesn't want Lucifer to celebrate his bday with a gloomy atmosphere. After that, Mammon would probably leave memorable gifts for his younger brothers since this will be the last time he's seeing them.

I'm making myself cry just by thinking how Mammon's gonna leave a teddy bear gift to Lucifer with all the encouraging voice records inside 'cause he knows his big brother needs some emotional support.

BUT DANG THAT ENDING THO KSDJKSHSA and Diavolo pointing it out since Luci's too heartbroken to say it. 😭😭😭 Then Lucifer's probably going to think that Mammon doesn't want this kind of party, so he brightens up the atmosphere by saying how Mammon's partying right now. So they all did, they celebrated it with smiles and laughter but their hearts are still heavy.

AND imagine where the younger brothers are so exhausted so they slept earlier than usual, so Lucifer's left alone with his thoughts— then he saw Mammon.

"You're late to the party, how unusual of you." Lucifer scolded with the lack of his strict tone; Mammon simply giggled as he made his way through the confetti and sat beside his big brother.

"Happy birthday, did ya miss me?" Mammon asked.

"Depends, are you still a trouble maker?" Lucifer replied. They talked like nothing ever happened; they talk like old times, and Lucifer's too afraid that this is going to end soon, so he overshares.

"Big brothers are supposed to be proud when seeing their baby brothers go." Mammon smiled; Lucifer said nothing, but his tears said everything.

"I'm simply not ready, Mammon. But I'll guide you on your journey, that's what big brothers are for, yes?" It's all Lucifer had to say after a minute of silence, and his baby brother laughed.

"I'm not used to seeing you go all, sentimental and stuff. Where's the strict Lucifer I know?! Did he run away?" It was satire, Lucifer knows that, so he replied with a joke. "He's probably working his ass off in his office."

Another laugh was let out, and now they're both laughing.

"I'll visit you in your dreams, now you're never gonna get rid of me!" His baby brother had said, and Lucifer noticed the fading glow on his legs. His baby bro is going to go now, and Lucifer couldn't do anything.

"Make sure to stop gambling in the other world, and make sure to be smart when handling money—" Lucifer's rant could go on forever. Mammon only rolled his eyes as he replied with a "Yes," in every order.

Lucifer wasn't the type of guy to say an emotional goodbye speech, so he simply stated the simple farewell he could muster.

"Be happy there." I love you

Then, Mammon's gone for good.

#thank you for this #omg #AAAA #im making myself cry #Thanks for putting this in my ask box #obey me angst #obey me mammon #mammon angst #sorry if there's any grammar mistakes

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mrs-bartowski · 3 years

Text

Brace for impact y'all cuz my brain is being Extra Rude this fine Sunday. OKAY, so...

What with Lena's new unemployment status, obviously we have all these hcs about her being unable to afford the penthouse and moving in with Kara.

Then of course we have all the accompanying hcs about Lena's time in the apartment between now and when Kara gets back (blanket sniffing, inability to sleep in Kara's bed, ready-to-pack corner of belongings so as to not alter Kara's home, and all those other super fun things that make me wanna cry).

I see all of those (and love them) and I raise you one: the Mxy tapes.

So, we see right after Mxy leaves when Kara picks up "The One Where Lena Decided To Work With Lex" which is what, in combination with her realization that telling Lena the truth always has "huge" consequences, motivates her to make that super OOC decision to absolve herself entirely of her guilt and tell Lena she'll treat her like a villain if she works with Lex, yes?

Now, what if that wasn't the only tape Mxy left behind? What if he left a recording of each of those alternate timelines because, after seeing Kara twist what she learned to fit her frustration over Lena's continued cold shoulder and hearing what she said to Lena, Mxy decided she might want to watch them again at some point to remember the real takeaway: she's fighting for the relationship that saves the world...

Kara found the tapes stacked on the coffee table when she got home, with a note that said "You found the magic. Now don't lose it." She wanted to get angry, but instead she just put the tapes in a box on the shelf under the TV and tried to forget about them.

----------

Lena's hand shakes slightly as she slides the key into the lock, feeling the ghost of Alex’s hand rest gently on her shoulder as it had when she’d pressed the cold metal into her palm a few hours earlier with a silent offer and an encouraging nod. The door swings open slowly, and Lena is hit by a sudden wave of cold. Not temperature, but energy. It’s too quiet - no NSYNC on the speaker or Bachelorette on the TV. It’s too empty - no smell of fresh (slightly burnt) bread or yarn strewn all over the counter from Kara’s various crochet projects. It’s too...Kara-less.

Lena shakes off the feeling and slides her bag off her shoulder in the corner by the bookcase, careful not to knock Kara’s favorite cinnamon candle off the stool beside her, as she tells Alexa to play Nina Simone. She zips open her bag to pull out her favorite copy of Mrs. Dalloway and finds it missing. Realizing she must have left it in her desk drawer at LexCorp, Lena makes a mental note to send Brainy in after it tomorrow with the promise that he can change all of Lex’s passwords one more time before they leave the game for good.

Lena stares at the blank TV screen for a moment, dreading the thought of watching anything in this room without Kara’s head on her shoulder or in her lap. So, she crouches to look at the shelves of the TV stand, hoping to find at least one of the books she’d gotten Kara for her birthday last year wedged between the latest issues of CatCo Magazine and the recipe books Alex had gotten her in the hopes of spending less money on pot stickers every week.

She’s just zeroed in on The Color Purple when she notices a box she doesn’t recognize laying across the tops of the books on the other shelf. She reaches for it on instinct, then hesitates. She hasn’t touched anything of Kara’s since their falling out, and what if Kara’s “what’s mine is yours” rule no longer applies to her now? She considers leaving it alone and waiting for Kara to get back and explain, sliding The Color Purple toward her without taking her eyes off the box, before her curiosity gets the better of her and she caves, tossing the book onto the coffee table.

She opens the lid and starts at the sight of VHS tapes. Hasn't she taught Kara better than this? They'd converted all her old tapes to DVDs months into their friendship ("Kara, these things deteriorate so easily and the picture quality becomes awful, don't you want something that will last?"). She picks up the first tape and reads the label on the side: "The One Where Lena Doesn't Make It Back In Time." Her brows furrow as she stares, unblinking, at the title - demanding answers she knows only one person can give her.

She glances around, but doesn't see a VHS player anywhere, so she sets the tape on the floor beside her and picks up the next one. "The One Where Lena Can't Save Sam Or Herself." Lena shoves down her growing horror and discards the tape, hoping the next one will be less ominous. She picks it up and chokes back a sob as she reads: "The One Where There Are No Survivors."

Lena can't wait for answers anymore, so she gathers the tapes back into the box, grabs her purse and Kara's key, and heads to the closest library. Lena finds the old CRT sitting on a rolling cart in the back corner of the library, tucked between the stacks of kids' books. She pulls the first tape out of the box and slides it carefully into the slot.

30 minutes later, with tears and too-cheap eyeliner streaming down her face, Lena picks up the last tape. "The One Where Lena Was Never Your Friend." And here she'd thought things couldn't get worse. Lena takes a deep breath as she inserts the tape.

At the sight of the ruin that meets Kara and Mxy, Lena stifles the urge to laugh. Of course this is what a world without her best friend looks like. This exactly how it feels now, and she's only been gone a few weeks.

Lena's breath catches as she hears herself ask "who's Kara?," the mere thought of a world where the reporter had never believed in her, never cared enough to love her, almost too much to bear. Her hand drifts absent-mindedly to her chest as she watches herself reveal a kryptonite heart, and for a moment she can hear the sounds of her own screams as her mother's experiments rob her of the last of her humanity.

She presses her hand closer to her heart, sure that it's stopped beating at the sight of Kara on the ground, in pain at her hands but still refusing to fight her. Feels it shatter when her worst self says exactly the same words she'd said to Kara in the Fortress when asked why she had pretended to be Kara's friend for so long.

And she thinks it might kill her, this agony that's filling her body like acid. She wonders for a moment if this is what kryptonite feels like to Kara. Because it sure feels like her skin is getting seared off her bones and there are nails in her blood and it sure seems like she won't survive watching herself kill her best friend as she lies helpless and desperate on the floor.

And when Mxy pulls them out, Lena's breath returns full force until she's hyperventilating because Kara is gone and she doesn't know how long it will be until they get her back; and she was terrified of what she'd become when she lost Jack but she survived because of Kara; and if this is what losing Kara without ever having her in the first place looks like, Lena has never been more afraid than she is as she realizes what will happen to the world if she doesn't get Kara back. What she'll do to the world if it dares to take Kara from her.

So, when she gathers the tapes and goes to return them to the box and finds a note at the bottom that says "You found the magic. Now don't lose it," Lena promises herself that, for as long as she lives, she will do everything in her power to keep the magic that is Kara Danvers in her life.

----------

Alex knocks on the apartment door three days later and finds it unlocked. She pushes the door open and her hand drifts to her gun, but relaxes as she sees Lena's sleeping form curled up on the couch. Alex approaches a box she knows the contents of all too well and finds it open and empty on the table before she notices the VCR player and tapes strewn across the floor. She smiles softly as she recalls the image of Kara in the exact same position months earlier. And, as she carefully plucks the handwritten note from Lena's clutched fist, she smiles at the knowledge that, once Kara returns, no force in the world will be able to keep them apart again.

UPDATE: Ask and ye shall receive

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

#supergirl #supercorp #supercorp headcanon #lena luthor #kara danvers #alex danvers #this got so much more elaborate than I planned #but oh well #have fun suffering with me

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sugawaraxo · 4 years

Text

sex tape

warnings: smut ofc

characters: yu nishinoya, ryu tanaka, tetsoru kuroo, koutarou bokuto

request: Hc of asking your man to make a sex tape with you? With Nishinoya, Tanaka, Kuroo, and Bokuto please! 🖤

a/n: i really like bokuto’s, his was fun to write lol

nishinoya

- with nishinoya traveling all the time because of volleyball, it gets extremely hard not to miss him a lot when he’s gone

- especially when you’re craving his touch

- most times you’re able to satisfy yourself decently well, but sometimes it’s just not enough

- and porn does absolutely nothing to help you because watching other people fuck just isn’t the same as watching as nishinoya fucks you

- so you get an idea that sparks both yours and nishinoya’s attention

- he’s very excited

“babe, can i ask you something?” you say while you massage noya’s scalp, his head resting in your lap comfortably as you two lay on the couch.

“hm?” he hums, teetering on the verge of sleep at the gentle feeling of your touch.

“what if we made a sex tape?” you question and noya’s head shoots up to look at you, eyes wide with interest.

“is this a joke? like some sort of prank? please tell me it’s not a prank.” he begs and you laugh at his response.

“no, it’s not a prank. i was just thinking about it and sometimes, when you’re away, i get really needy and it’s hard to get the kind of pleasure i’m looking for without you here. so maybe if we make a little sex tape, i can have something to watch and help when you’re away.” you explain. nishinoya stares at you blankly, his brain slowly processing each word you just said. the thought of you getting all needy when he’s not here and touching yourself while watching a video of him fucking you was more than enough to make him and his mini noya very excited.

“is that even a question? i’m so down, can we do it right now?” he asks eagerly causing you to laugh at him again.

“i mean, i don’t see why not.” you shrug.

nishinoya props himself up so that he’s hovering above you and he kisses you deeply. your lips always work together so perfectly, synchronizing in a nice steady rhythm. his hands are traveling all over your body in an attempt to get you as aroused as he already is, and it works without a doubt. noya continues kissing you and lightly grazing your sides with his fingers or rubbing small circles on your inner thighs until he earns a moan from you that makes him grin.

“i know how i want to start the sex tape.” he says confidently.

“how?”

“grab your phone and start recording.” is his only response. you grab your phone from beside you on the couch and open the camera app, pressing record and waiting for noya’s next move. he slides down your body and effortlessly discards your shorts, tossing them off to the side somewhere. he looks down in between your legs then up at you, you watching him through the screen of your phone. he gives the camera a small smirk before pressing a kiss on the lower part of your tummy, trailing more soft kisses all over your thighs, hips, and waist. he then lightly moves his lips over your core which was only being covered by the thin lace of your underwear. you begin to grow a bit impatient at nishinoya’s teasing, writhing under his gentle yet alluring kisses.

“noya, please.” you whine softly and he looks up at you for a quick second before pulling your panties down and tossing them somewhere unknown. he wastes no time pressing his mouth against your warm folds, licking circles around your clit repetitively. you to let out an airy gasp of his name and he continues to work his mouth around your clit for awhile, progressively sucking and licking more and more aggressively, just so he could selfishly earn more moans from you that make his dick painstakingly hard. and as if his tongue relentlessly moving around your clit wasn’t enough, he sticks two fingers inside of you and curls them upward to hit your spot.

“holy shit noya.” you moan, reaching your free hand down to grip onto his hair lightly while trying to maintain a steady grip on your phone with the other. he looks up at you and you nearly cum at the sight. his eyes are blown with lust and his face is flushed a pretty shade of pink. you just know this part of the video is going to constantly be on replay when it’s finished. you absentmindedly start jutting your hips against noya’s tongue, a thing you do when you’re about to unravel.

you giving him the clear sign that you’re about to cum is noya’s cue to stop, so he removes his fingers from your soaking hole and wipes his mouth clean as he sits up between your legs. you whimper a little at the cum denial, but you know exactly why he did it.

“wanna see you cum with me inside you.” he mumbles, confirming your guess.

“me too.” you respond and he smiles down at you softly which makes your heart jump. he pulls his pants down along with his boxers revealing his member. his tip is dripping with precum and you feel your pussy clench as you look at it. nishinoya takes his shirt off before saying, “yours too” and you remove yours aswell. he looks at your now fully nude body and sighs,

“how’d i get so fucking lucky?” he coos and for the second time, your hearts jumps and you can’t help but smile at his words. he presses himself at your entrance, teasing it slowly and you adjust the camera angle so that you can get more of noya’s face and body in it because that’ll come in handy later. he slides into you at a teasingly slow pace, drawing out the loud moan that’s leaving your lips. once he’s all the way in, he looks at the camera and winks before pulling out and thrusting back into you, hitting your spot perfectly. you planned on rolling your eyes at his cockiness, but your eyes end up squeezing shut at the sudden excess of pleasure.

“that feel good?” noya asks, already knowing the answer but still wanting to fuel his ego. you can’t even answer in actual words as he continues to thrust into you deeply, so you just nod and moan in response. he grins in satisfaction and thrusts into you a bit harder, not letting up on wanting to milk you of every moan you could possibly utter. he wants this video to be really nice for you since he feels guilty about being away for so long sometimes. he wants to make you feel so good so that every time you look back at this, you remember how amazing he can make you feel. he reaches down to play with your nipples a bit, making you squirm in pleasure. you use your free hand to start playing with your throbbing clit, not being able to hold back the lewd noises building in your throat. you’re a moaning mess beneath him, shaking and struggling to keep the camera steady as you get closer to your orgasm.

“here, let me take it.” noya says, grabbing the phone from you as he notices you struggling. he focuses it down on you, watching himself go in and out of you on the screen and he lets out a groan.

“noya, i’m so close.” you whimper, your chest heaving heavily as you start rubbing your clit more aggressively.

“good girl, cum for me.” nishinoya coos, making his thrusts sharper and deeper against your g-spot.

a few more thrusts and you’re arching your back off the couch and practically screaming nishinoya’s name. he smirks as you tremble beneath him, the sight completely destroying him aswell. he pulls out of you and cums all over your stomach, grunting and panting while he reaches his peak.

he wipes his mess up with his fingers then places them at your mouth, you sucking all of his faintly salty remnants off obediently and his cock twitches. after getting that all on camera, noya stops the recording and collapses next to you.

“that felt so good.” you sigh before placing a kiss on his cheek.

“it really did.” he replies, returning a kiss on your forehead. “now you can watch it whenever you want. and you better send me that video, i need it too.” he continues, handing you back your phone. you laugh at his statement and give him a quick peck before sending him the video.

you guys definitely watch it that night and go for another round.

tanaka

- he would be the one to bring it up actually

- tanaka just enjoys taking lewd photos of you in general

- he’ll come up behind you as you look at yourself in the mirror after getting ready and take a handful of your boob before snapping a pic

- or he’ll have you sit on his lap, facing towards him so he can take a mirror pic of him grabbing your ass like that

- he doesn’t post them or anything, but just likes looking at them every once in awhile

- he did print out the ass grabbing one and put it on the dash board of his car though

- it makes him feel a sense of security that he’s the only one you’ll pose in pictures like that for

- and he’s always had the desire to film you guys while having sex, to have a permanent memory of the encounter

- which is no surprise to you

tanaka is balls deep in your mouth, fucking your face at a slow yet rough tempo while muttering all sorts of nonsense as he does so. he’s leaning against the edge of the kitchen counter and you’re resting on your knees in front him, pleasing him the way he loves the most. your eyes are shut tightly as you try your best not to choke on tanaka’s length, them beginning to brim with tears a bit at the feeling of him continuously thrusting into the back of your throat. you open your eyes so that the tears would fall and you could wipe them away. but when you open them, you’re met with tanaka’s phone camera facing down at you and him looking at you with a shy smile.

“is this ok?” he asks, motioning to his phone.

“mhmm.” you hum, your mouth too full to talk.

you think it’s kind of hot being recorded actually. knowing that tanaka will go back and watch this vid countless times the same way you always catch him looking at the nsfw pictures that you two take every so often. it also gives you the motivation to be a little extra with your sucking. you wanna make tanaka weak with moans so whenever he goes back to watch the video, he’s reminded of just how crazy he is for your lips around his dick.

you hollow your cheeks a bit more, moving your wet mouth down his shaft at a teasing pace, maintaining eye contact with him in the process. he throws his head back and lets out a deep groan as your nose touches his abdomen, you completely taking tanaka’s length down your throat.

“holy fuck y/n.” tanaka pants and you smirk, now circling the tip of his dick with your tongue. you suck the tip gently, remembering to slide your tongue over the slit occasionally which causes tanaka to grip your hair roughly as he moans your name. he watches you through his phone screen, basking in the fact that he knows this will be his favorite video on the planet.

“i’m not gonna last very long if you keep this up.” he sighs breathlessly, looking down at you through hooded eyes. it’s taking every bit of his strength not to just release in your mouth right then, because you look so destroyed on his cock. there’s saliva and precum on your swollen lips and rolling down your chin in thin clear strands, your face is stained with the tears that spilled from your eyes whenever you took tanaka’s full length down your throat, and your hair is a little messy from tanaka instinctively gripping it whenever he feels his tip hit the back of your throat. it’s definitely a sight to see, a sight that has tanaka teetering on his edge. you’re about to try deepthroating him again, but he pulls you off by your hair and gestures for you to stand up.

“bend over the counter.” he grunts.

you get up and rest your stomach on the edge of the cold counter, bending over for him. he lifts one of your legs, placing it on the counter while you maintain balance with the other still planted on the floor. now your cunt is fully exposed to him and both of you shiver, you at the feeling and him at the view. tanaka makes sure he has a decent camera angle before thrusting into you. no teasing, no gimmicks, just straight to it. your body lurches forward a bit, tanaka is not taking it easy on you today and you don’t mind at all. his eyes are glued to your ass on his phone screen, watching it bounce every time he thrusts into you.

“fuck.” he moans, the grip that his free hand has on your hip growing a bit tighter. you’re whimpering with each thrust, each and every one of them hitting that spot that makes you feel dizzy. if anyone were to speak to you right now, anything you tried to say would sound like a bunch of babbling. that’s the power tanaka’s cock has over you, and he absolutely loves it.

“you ok down there baby?” he asks but you can hear the smirk he’s carrying in his tone. you say nothing, just continue to let your sweet, loud moans bounce off the walls of the kitchen. tanaka pulls you up so that your leg is still lifted on the counter, but your back is pressed flush against his body. he switches to the selfie camera and sets the phone down, resting it against a vase on the countertop so that both of you are in view.

“i want you to cum like this, ok?” he says and you nod eagerly in return. he begins thrusting into you again, placing tender kisses on the sides of your neck while his hands roam all over your body. you watch him on the phone screen, he looks just as fucked out as you do which makes you pulse around him. you move your hand down to your clit, knowing that neither of you would last much longer. tanaka slows the speed of his thrusts, but increases the precision as he aims directly for your special spot.

“oh my god ryu, i’m gonna- fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.” you moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder and he looses it, just as well as you do.

he pulls out of you and cums all over your backside, some dripping onto the floor as you use the counter to stable yourself from your weakening legs. he kisses your shoulder before reaching down to grab his phone and stop the recording. then he grabs your hips and turns you towards him and plants a gentle kiss on your lips.

“that was insanely hot.” he says as he uses the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“you’re telling me.” you sigh, still shaking slightly from your orgasm. he cleans up the mess he made on the floor with a paper towel, then makes his way back over to you and picks you up bridal style.

“well let’s go shower and maybe we can record another one while we’re in there.” tanaka smirks and you shake your head as you laugh.

i guess that’s what happens when you have a boyfriend with high stamina.

kuroo

- like tanaka, kuroo would initiate it

- kuroo loves to take pictures and videos of you to show you off

- like he’s definitely one of those boyfriend’s whose instagram has more pictures of their partner than themselves

- he just thinks you’re so cute and wants the whole world to know you’re his

- but he doesn’t want them to know what you guys do behind closed doors

- so those pics and videos stay private, for his and your eyes only

- but he definitely loves taking them while you guys are in the heat of the moment

- is 100% the type to fuck you while watching your own sex tape

“kuroo, i’m kinda in the mood to ride you.” you say bluntly to your boyfriend who is sitting across from you on the couch. he pulls his phone away from his line of vision so he could look at you, searching for any signs of a joke in your expression. but you’re dead serious.

“i mean, what am i supposed to say to that? no?” he smirks that infamous smirk of his and you have to force yourself not to roll your eyes.

“just wanted to give you a heads up is all.” you say, climbing your way over to him and straddling his lap. he lays his phone on his chest and his hands instinctively find their way to your thighs, rubbing the smooth skin gently.

“hm, go for it. i’m all yours.” he grins then lifts his arms above his head as if permitting you access to his body. you smile down at him amusedly, desire eating away at you as you process his appearance. he’s shirtless, so his muscular build is on full display for you to inherently drool over. he’s wearing a pair of shorts made of the same material sweatpants are made out of, the fabric loosely resting on his hips dangerously low now that you’re sitting there and unintentionally pulling them down a bit. he catches your wandering eyes and chuckles at you.

“you know you can look and touch, right kitten?” he teases and you allow yourself to roll your eyes at him this time.

“sheesh, can i not just admire my hot boyfriend?” you huff jokingly before rubbing your hands up his chest and down his torso tenderly. you don’t fail to miss the slight blush raising over the bridge of kuroo’s nose which makes you smile.

“only if you let me admire you back.” he says, tugging at the hem of your shirt as a signal for you to take it off. you do, bringing the piece of clothing over your head slowly, quite literally feeling kuroo’s gaze burning through you the entire time. once your top half is just as naked as kuroo’s, he starts massaging your boobs lightly and you let out a sigh at his touch. he moves his hands down your sides and over your thighs, letting them rest there again while rubbing his thumbs over your now tingling skin.

“can’t wait to watch you fuck yourself on my cock.” he groans as he scans over your entire body with eager eyes and a flush of heat runs through your body.

“yeah?” you question, beginning to roll your hips over his clothed shaft. his breath hitches and he picks up his phone that’s still laying on his chest.

“mhm, i’m gonna record it. so put on a show for me.” he grins and you feel a surge of arousal flow through you. you pull off the only piece of clothing you have left which is a simple pair of underwear, and pull down kuroo’s bottoms just enough so that you can get what you need. you grind your damp cunt against kuroo’s now hardening member in an attempt to get him fully erect. it works with ease, him getting hard for you in just a matter of seconds as he watches you desperately rock your hips against him.

you reach down beneath your body, grabbing his length and giving it a couple strokes before placing his tip at your center sinking down on him and feeling every inch stretch and fill you up perfectly. you let out a shaky breath and kuroo holds back a moan by biting his lip harshly. you begin to set a steady pace for yourself, lifting your hips up and letting them fall back down slowly enough for you to get used to kuroo’s above average size. you sturdy yourself by placing your hands on his chest, now picking up the pace of your movements.

“you’re so hot.” kuroo groans as he reaches down to grab your ass before giving it a harsh spank. you wince at the pain, but also moan at the pleasure from him massaging the cheek afterwards. you lift yourself a bit higher off of his length and sink back down quickly, causing you and kuroo to moan in unison. you continue this, lifting your body all the way up to his tip and then crashing back down to take all of him inside of you, making you both just a jumble of moans and pants.

“fuck, turn around. i wanna see that ass.” kuroo smirks and you follow his order. your now facing away from him, reverse cowgirl style, while he teases your hole with his tip. he has a firm grasp on his dick as he rubs it against your glistening folds, admiring the view in front of him.

“you ready?” he asks.

“mhm.” you hum. you move your hips around, eagerly waiting to feel him fill you up again. he chuckles at you before pushing himself into you, thrusting a couple times before letting you take the lead again. you start bouncing your hips up and down his shaft and kuroo nearly passes out. watching you ride him with your ass on full display for him is testing his strength, but he pushes through. he grabs onto your ass tightly and guides your hips to move at a bit of a slower pace.

“jesus, fuck.” kuroo moans, his grip on his phone faltering a bit as he begins to feel overwhelmed with pleasure. he tightens his grasp on the phone and starts fucking into you, matching the movements of your hips.

“yes kuroo, just like that.” you sigh, throwing your head back at the sensation.

“touch yourself, i want you to cum first.” kuroo breathes and you do as told. you rub your clit as you continue to grind on kuroo’s cock, meeting his thrusts halfway.

“mm, kuroo-” is all you manage to get out before you’re trembling and moaning, your core pulsating as you orgasm.

“fuck.” kuroo pants as he pulls out of you, giving himself a few tugs before spurting warm cum all over your ass. you two sit like that for a few seconds, letting yourselves regain stability. once you feel as though you can move again, you turn around and lay on kuroo’s chest. he’s still recording so he flips the camera to face you guys, lifts your chin, and presses your lips together lovingly.

“probably the hottest one we’ve recorded yet.” kuroo says after ending recording.

“yeah?” you laugh at his enthusiastic expression.

“mhmm, because you’re the star of it.” he smiles.

bokuto

- he comes home from practice and finds you waiting on the bed naked with your already recording camera set up on the side table

- babie is FLUSTERED

- like he just stands in the doorway, mouth gaped open, as if he’s too scared to walk in

- he’s seen you naked numerous times but you still take his breath away every time

- he’s so adorable

- finally snaps out of his trance and joins you on the bed

bokuto removes his shoes and climbs into bed with you. the contrast between him being fully clothed and you being completely naked makes both of you blush a bit.

“what’s all this about?” he asks with a quirked eyebrow, scanning your entire body which makes you tense under his stare.

“umm well, i was thinking about it and i thought it’d be really hot if we made a sex tape.” you explain.

“you wanna make a sex tape?” he questions.

“i mean yeah. it’ll be nice to have something to look back-”

“say less.” he cuts you off and practically tears off his shirt. you giggle at his excitement, already knowing that he was probably going to react this way. within the next few seconds, you aren’t the only naked one anymore and your eyes trail down bokuto’s body. just like how you never fail to amaze him, he never fails to amaze you. the way his toned muscles flex whenever he moves makes all your heat rush to your core.

“the view’s nice huh?” he teases and flexes his biceps a bit.

“shut up.” you laugh, “but yes, it is.”

bokuto grins at your compliment, then cups your face in his hands and captures your lips with his passionately. your lips mesh together effortlessly, as if you guys were made to kiss each other. bokuto deepens the kiss by swiping your bottom lip with his tongue, alerting you that he’s about to insert it into your mouth. he does just that and you let out a breathy moan that shoots right down to his dick. he hardens at your noises, kissing you deeper just to earn more. you could honestly kiss bokuto for hours. the way he always makes you feel like you’re the most fragile and precious thing he’s ever touched when he kisses you makes you feel overwhelmingly loved. though today’s makeout session is unfortunately cut short when bokuto pulls away and flips you over onto your stomach as if you weigh nothing. you let out a gasp, a little startled by the sudden force.

“sorry babe, i just really need to be inside you right now.” he admits and you laugh a little. you prop yourself up onto your elbows and knees, preparing for bokuto to insert himself into you.

“mm, look at that. all pretty and perched up for me.” he groans, rubbing your exposed cunt with two fingers. you tense at his light yet arousing touch, desperately wanting him to do more. as if he read your mind, he inserts those fingers inside of you at an antagonizing pace. you move your hips back in an attempt to speed up the friction but instead he pulls his fingers out and rests his hand on your ass.

“be” he spanks one cheek, “patient.” he finishes as he spanks the other. you whine at the stinging yet pleasurable pain and bokuto smiles sadistically while entering his fingers back inside you at a much faster rate. you moan as you watch yourself on your phone screen. you intentionally set it up using the selfie camera so that you could watch as bokuto fucked you senseless on the screen, and boy are you glad you did that. the smug look on his face while he fingerfucks you and thrusts into his own hand makes you clench around his fingers, craving something a bit bigger than the two digits.

“please just fuck me kou, i need it.” you moan. bokuto tries to pretend he’s not flustered by your words but is clearly taken aback. he could be the dominant one all he wants, but it’ll never change the fact that he goes completely weak when you beg for him.

“yeah? you want me to fuck you?” he grins, pulling his fingers out and replacing them with the tip of his painfully hard member.

“mhmm, please kou.” you hum, knowing that begging gets you anything you want with him. this instance just further proves that statement because he begins pushing into you at the same antagonizing speed he moved his fingers at. but you can’t complain since it helps a lot with getting used to his size, because he most definitely does not have the smallest tool in the shed. he continues slowly pushing his way in until his lower abdomen is pressed against your ass, his cock buried deep within your tight hole.

“fuck, you feel so good.” he moans. you glance at your phone to see what he looks like and his head is thrown back, eyes shut tightly and mouth open slightly. your body tingles at the sight, pleasure is written all over his expression and you love it. he pulls out of you and thrusts back into you with brute force. his favorite thing to do ever since he learned that it makes you scream. he pulls out of you exceptionally slowly, waits a short second, and then slam back into you relentlessly. your toes curl at his his little trick and you bury your face into a pillow in an attempt to muffle your loud moans of his name and plenty other profanities. he does this a few more times, smirking at the way you’re completely falling apart beneath him, then takes a break and fucks you at a more steady pace. though he’s no longer pounding into your sweet spot, his tip is still brushing against it and your head goes fuzzy with pleasure.

“you fuck me so good kotaro.” you moan into the pillow, gripping the sheets around you tightly.

“only the best for my pretty girl.” he smiles “here, turn over. wanna see your face.”

you flip over onto your back, now looking up at bokuto who’s smiling down at you lovingly.

“beautiful, so beautiful.” he coos, rubbing his thumb over your cheek softly. your heart drops into your stomach. you know you probably look a hot mess right now. makeup ruined from you shoving your face into a pillow, face flushed from the immense pleasure, and hair a bit messy from it all. but he still thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in existence and your heart almost can’t take it.

“can’t wait to make you cum.” he finishes and without any warning, he grinds his hips into you smoothly yet assertively. he has a tight grip on your hips as he rocks into them and you are just about losing it beneath him. you’re gripping onto his biceps, surely leaving bruises that’ll form by tomorrow. but he doesn’t mind whatsoever. he loves seeing you all fucked out as he pounds into you, sputtering all sorts of moans and lewd words here and there with each thrust. he can tell you won’t be able to hold on for much longer, so he brings his thumb to your clit and rubs small and quick circles on it. he matches the tempo of his thrusts and watches you turn into a blabbering mess at his touch.

“fuck kou, jesus christ. i can’t-you’re gonna make me-oh my god-i’m gonna-“

you’re grip on his arms gets a bit tighter as you succumb to your forceful orgasm. your eyes roll back, your back arches off the bed, and you swear your vision goes dark for a few seconds. bokuto can almost never get a full thrust in after seeing you cum and this is no exception to that. as soon as he sees you come undone, he pulls out of you and releases all over your stomach with a rich moan of your name.

“i came so hard i went blind there for a second.” you admit and bokuto busts out laughing.

“shit sorry. not really though.” he shrugs, collapsing next to you.

“hush. i’m just glad we got that all on camera. i’ll definitely be watching that soon. speaking of, can you hand me my phone?”

bokuto reaches over to grab your phone of the nightstand and you stop recording.

“twenty minutes of gold content.” you say as you look at the length of the video.

“wanna make it twenty more?”

“say less.” you reply smugly.

6K notes · View notes

teenyweenynightghost · 3 years

Note

14, 17, 20, 24, 28 and 45 - for Victoria de Angelis the Princess of Måneskin

14. I don’t want to be alone.

17. Here, lay down in my lap.

24. Why would you care? Because I love you! *soulmate silence*

28. You look so comfy, and cuddle-able

45. Let’s just stay in bed.

X Vic

A/n: challenge of the year: CAN TEENY CONNECT THESE ALL INTO A FIC (idk haven’t started yet). Oh and btw babe, I just left out 20 because I had another prompt with it <3

Future a/n: allow me to explain myself. So I was very bored and when my mind doesn’t do something it gets ✨bad tm✨, which is why this “blurb” ended up being 5K words long

A HUGE thank you to @idyllicbutterfly for encouraging me on. You were an angel❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug @immrbrightsideeee @shehaddreamstoo @tiaamberxx @victoriadeangeliswifey @bidet-and-legolas @makapaka11 @electra-phoebe @makeavvish @perfectlyunbiasedobservation @cucciolafaerie @theimpossiblehologramtree @unitersmoonshine @deeavjbes @selenophiliaxx @oro-e-diamanti @l0standn0tf0und @iosonoarina @que--sera--sera @filthforfriends

“You know what? Just get the fuck out of here! All you do is fuck shit up, ever since you’ve decided to follow Damiano around like a hopless touch-starved child!” Vic yelled, not being able to contain her rage anymore.

Y/n got on her nerves, to say the least. Every fucking time she would try to do something with the band, just the four of them, of course she had to tag along as well, and Damiano never commented. Why would he? She was his cousin, after all. Vic, however, would have gladly pushed her off a cliff.

She had the most annoying voice, always so angelic and smooth, as If she had no negative emotions. She always spoke her mind, which pissed Vic off in equal measures. She just seemed like an overall goody-two shoes who was sent there to be a huge pain in the ass for Vic.

Tonight was, of course, no exception. They were all gathered around the dining table, eating pasta and discussing about the work they had done. It had been an important day after all. A few producers from England had come to check out their music, and they were all tense, yet excited. The recording had gone amazing, they managed to get in a few snippets from their new songs too and everyone was pleasantly surprised. It had been a perfect day.

Until Y/n came. Just her presence pissed Vic off, which made the whole atmosphere incredibly tense. Y/n accidentally spilling a glass of water was the fire their argument needed.

“Yeah, of course, I’m the touch-starved child! Says the girl who walks around naked all day!” Y/n shouted back, feeling her eyes get filled with tears. Arguments were never her forte.

“Do you see anyone touching me? Besides, why would I need someone else to do it when I’m oh so good at doing it my damn self?” Vic retorted, a devilish grin on her face. She knew how flustered Y/n got when conversations turned sexual, and there was nothing better than taking advantage of it.

“Yeah there you go with your masturbation jokes again. So mature.” She answered, rolling her eyes.

“More mature than blushing at any mentions of it.”

“THAT’S ENOUGH! Both of you! We’re all fucking sick of you two getting into fights every single day! Today was perfect and you just had to fucking ruin it!” Ethan interrupted both girls, his strong voice overpowering theirs.

“It’s not my fault she’s a clumsy idiot who gets on my nerves every fucking time!”

“Well It’s not mine either that she’s a stuck up bitch who’s blunt as fuck!”

“I’m surprised you know the word!”

Damiano exhaled loudly, being just as fed up with the arguing as Ethan. He looked at the other guys, signaling with his head towards the pool and they all got up simultaneously to leave.

“Well, I guess that leaves the two of us, huh angel?” Vic spoke, her honeyed voice echoed by the large room.

“You’re such a fucking bitch.” Y/n muttered, rolling her eyes in disgust.

“If you are going to insult me, at least be clever about it. You see, that’s one of the fucking things I can’t stand about you. You’re just so fucking basic all the time. There’s nothing unique about you, you’re just like everybody else because you’re absolutely terrified of what people think about you.” She kept on saying, her voice growing more dangerous as she got closer to Y/n.

Vic could see how much her words affected her, and oh how it fed her ego. Y/n’s eyes were already red, awfully close to spilling all the tears carefully stashed in her dark eyes. Her breath was ragged, also hinting at how close she was from crying. Y/n’s hair always seemed to cascade perfectly down her wide shoulders, the fake blue tint making her skin look even colder. She was fake in practically every aspect. That was Vic’s favorite thought- there was no way someone could ever be that perfect.

“That’s fucking low, you asshole.” Y/n murmured, her voice as weak as she felt.

“Oh sweetheart, you’d moan my name if you’d truly let me go low.” Victoria snickered.

“I really fucking doubt that. I don’t really think a person like you could be talented in bed.”

“Oh well now I’m interested. Would you happen to have any particular reasoning behind that thought?” She responded, quite interested in what Y/n could possibly answer.

“Considering how carelessly you insult me, you’d be too ignorant to even realize whether your partner would be having a good time or not.”

Victoria cackled, rolling her head back in amusement. Y/n’s voice seemed so pathetic to her, how shaky and fragile it was.

“Aww, I’m insulting you, puppy? Am I hurting your sweet little feelings?” She mused, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Y/n was completely frozen at the contect.. Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. Why would Victoria even bother touching her when she couldn’t even stand her presence in the same room?

“What the fuck do you want, Victoria?” Y/n mumbled, not daring to move away from her hand, which was now on the nape of her head.

“Well, darling, since you’re a huge pain in my ass, it would seem that calming you down would be a common interest. Even if fucking you is the way to achieve that.”

Y/n gasped and pulled away quickly, turning around so fast her sight had to catch up. She hurried to the counter and picked up her keys, shoved them in her purse and went to get her coat. Fuck- where was it?

“Looking for this?” Vic asked from behind. Her voice had somehow calmed down, but it was probably in Y/n’s head.

She turned around slowly, hoping her redness would at least settle down even for a fraction of a second. Y/n frowned when she noticed that the coat was on the coffee table, with Vic nowhere in sight.

Y/n scoffed as she walked towards the table. “Of course she didn’t mean it.”

***

“Vic, I need you to do us a favor.” Thomas approached the blonde, a bowl of fruit in his hands. “Here’s an offering, to put you in a good mood.”

Vic raised her eyebrow at the boy, already suspicious of what they were about to ask.

“What do you want, Thomas?”

He looked around, sharing not so discreet glances with Ethan and Damiano, before focusing his attention back on her.

“So, we got a call from Y/n. She um- she is having a rough day, and we wanted to go pick up a few things for her when she gets back. That does, however, mean you will be left with her, so we need you to at least try and not make it worse.”

Vic smirked. They were fucked, and mostly, Y/n was most definitely going to punch Vic.

“Taking care of our sweet little princess? Oh it’s gonna be my pleasure.”

“Vic, seriously, don’t fuck around with this.” Damiano intervened, sending Vic what seemed like a death glare. Not quite so scary to the girl, who was known for killing people with her glares.

“You must have forgotten my own problems with panic attacks, and that, assuming she will have one. Regardless, she won’t even feel my presence. I promise.”

All three sighed in relief, getting ready to head out the door and muttering their thanks to the blonde.

***

Y/n had drived in the alleyway, parking her car right in front of the garaje. She knew the feeling that already sunk into her stomach. Letting her head flop onto the wheel, she inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times. She needed a distraction before it would be too late.

“Damiano?” She asked while opening the door, praying he would be right there, hands open wide for her to relax in. Of course, considering her luck, he wasn’t.

“Amazing.” She whispered, as she fell against the door, slamming it shut with a loud thud.

It took a few seconds for her senses to recognize the new environment, a familiar scent managing to throw her off completely. She knew the smell all too well. Warm milk with a teaspoon of honey mixed in and her mother’s cinnamon apples. It even smelled like roasted pecans.

She took her boots off carefully, still trying to figure out who had cooked all those things, especially since Damiano was away.

“Hello?” She asked again, peeking through the archway and seeing the kitchen just as empty as the rest of the house.

Confusion clouded her mind as she walked further in, taking a look at the pot on the stove. It was filled with apples, just as she had smelled, and right next to it was a mug of honey milk. Not waiting a second more, she grabbed a plate and filled it with the desert, jumping on the counter and beginning to eat them.

The problem with all the silence was that it allowed her mind to think whatever it wished. The childhood meal hadn’t made it better either. Her mother passed a few years ago. That’s when Damiano’s family took her in and cared for her. That’s also how she grew so close to him, why she followed him around. He was like a brother to her, always looking out for her and making sure she was as happy as she could be.

Her heart skipped a beat, and the coils in her stomach grew tighter, almost cutting off her breath. She began panicking, desperate to cling to the smallest bit of sanity she had left.

That’s when Victoria walked into the kitchen, widening her eyes at Y/n.

“Oh shit, you’re home. I’ll just grab some snacks and go-“

“Wait no, please. Just… I don’t wanna be alone.” Y/n begged, looking at Vic with a desperation she could easily recognize. For a split second, the panic they were both familiar with connected them.

“Alright. Do you want me to hold you or just distract you?” The blonde asked carefully, feeling as if she was stepping on glass. She was really trying to keep the promise she had made to Damiano.

Y/n eyed Vic up and down for a second. She was wearing a fluffy robe, no doubt naked underneath, but the thought of her warm, soft skin touching her own swam around in Y/n’s mind.

“I’m not gonna lie. You look really comfy, and cuddle-able.” She chuckled, quickly swiping a tear off her face.

Vic nodded, replicating Y/n’s soft smile, and walked over to her, slowly grasping Y/n into her embrace.The girl closed her eyes, relaxing against Vic’s touch and leaning her head on the blonde’s shoulder. She smelled slightly of cinnamon and honey. Y/n knew it was just because of the scent that filled the kitchen. She couldn’t have known or remembered her childhood food.

“Hey, Y/n, calm down. Just try and match your breath to mine. Don’t focus on anything else.”

Her words were surprisingly soothing. Or at least, they did a good job at relaxing her. Y/n focused on doing exactly what Vic had instructed. She felt the blonde’s chest rise and fall slowly, a pattern she knew quite well. Inhale 4 seconds, hold 7 and exhale 8. The soft fabric of the robe brushed against her cheek and Vic’s blonde hair tickled her neck. She could feel her hands rubbing small circles on her back, leaving a warm trail in their wake. Everything about her was meant to calm her down. It was a small, sunny island in an ocean full of storms.

“How do you feel?” Vic’s voice softly interrupted her, making her jolt slightly.

“Hey, look at me.” The blonde’s voice immediately led her back to the relaxed state she was in. “Wanna go upstairs? I’ll hold you till you fall asleep.”

Y/n nodded gently, her lids almost closed. She hadn’t realized just how exhausted she was until now. Maybe it was the stress.

Vic gracefully helped her off the counter, and held her hand as she started walking towards her room.

“You can lay down, I’ll go get you your pajamas.”

“Actually I-… nevermind. Yeah, that’s okay.”

Vic halted in her steps, turning around towards Y/n. “No, tell me.”

“No, it’s fine, the pj’s are ok.”

Vic puffed, walking back towards Y/n. She nuzzled the girl’s head against her, running her fingers through her hair. “Would you prefer sleeping without clothes?”

Y/n nodded her head against her, a peachy blush appearing on her cheeks. Vic chuckled and pulled away, not missing the disappointed look on Y/n’s face at the loss of contact, and went to the bathroom. She quickly found what she needed, a few makeup remover wipes, and went back to the bed.

“I’ll just take off your makeup. Here, lay down in my lap.”

Vic’s soft hands led her down, resting on her thighs, and began wiping her face gently. Y/n basked in the feeling of being cared for, and let Vic wipe away all the things on her face, along with all her worries.

She opened her eyes when she felt Vic bend over her to leave the wipes on the nightstand. She pushed Y/n off, climbing in the middle of the bed and taking her robe off. Her assumptions had been correct, Vic was indeed wearing nothing underneath.

The blonde opened her arms, calling Y/n over. Closing her eyes, she cuddled into Vic and tried to focus on her breathing again. There were, however, a few more distractions.

If Y/n had thought the robe was soft, Vic’s skin was on a whole other level. It pressed softly to her own, warming Y/n up as if she were a cup of hot chocolate on a winter day. Her arms were wrapped around her neck, keeping her head safe and hidden between her limbs. A leg was nonchalantly wrapped around her torso, making her feel as welcome in her arms as show would have in her childhood home, many years ago.

“You wanna take yours off too? I’m sure office attire isn’t all that comfy.” She chuckled softly, the warm breath hitting Y/n’s exposed neck and the vibrations sending tingles throughout her body.

Y/n made a bit of distance between her and Vic’s body, and reached up to her shirt, beginning to unbutton it. The blonde’s hands began working on her trousers, looking at her briefly for consent, before pulling them off and throwing them away.

“You can stay with the bra on if you’re more comfortable like that. Or I could get you a shirt.”

“No, it’s fine. Sleeping in a bra would suck anyway.”

Vic smiled fondly as she pulled Y/n back in, easily unclasping her bra and sliding it off. Y/n could feel a blush creeping on her body. Never had she thought she would end up in a bed naked, with none other than Victoria.

She must have noticed Y/n was slightly nervous, because her hands were instantly cupping her cheek, focusing her attention on the blonde.

“Relax, sweetheart. I promise tomorrow will be a better day.” She whispered, pulling her in.

Y/n felt like she transcended into paradise when their bodies made contact. Feeling Vic directly on her body was without a doubt the most amazing sensation she had felt yet. It was even warmer, better than any wool scarf or comforter. Her skin felt like silk, as if she would leave kisses on every single inch of her body, as soft as butterflies.

The blonde smiled, feeling how Y/n melted in her hands, and brought her even closer. The coconut scent of Y/n’s shampoo enveloped her like a magical wave of calm. Her hair was even softer than it looked, and she loved nothing more than to comb her hands through it. It was long, reaching her waist and it always accentuated Y/n’s features perfectly.

Neither of the girls knew how much time had passed. Vic had felt Y/n drift off to sleep. It was rewarding feeling her so relaxed, knowing how close she had been to a panic attack hours ago. No matter how much she hated Y/n, she felt like there was an unspoken bond between them.

It would, however, disappear again in the morning. That's what Vic told herself. There was no use getting used to feeling Y/n’s frail body against her own. It would most definitely be the first and last time she would ever experience this. In the morning, they would go back to hating each other.

Those thoughts were enough to build up Vic’s walls again. Everyone had them. Especially her, since she was in the music industry at such a young age, she had her inner self carefully guarded. Perhaps it was a mistake, letting Y/n in. Even for a night.

Vic tried to roll the girl over, getting off the bed as quietly as possible. Right as she was about to stand up, a warm hand grabbed her wrist, making her turn around.

“Please, Vic, just stay. Let’s just stay in bed.”

Her jaw clenched. An internal battle, as always, plagued her soul. If she stayed, she knew how disappointed she would be in the morning. If she left, she would have lost the feeling she yearned for since Y/n stepped into her life.

But who was truly strong enough to walk away from someone like Y/n?

A few moments later, they were both clung to each other, holding on as if they were each other’s only oasis. They drifted to sleep, entangled and unsure of where their bodies began and where they were just touching the other.

***

“Thomas, if you don’t shut the fuck up I will shove this bag of chips up yo bootyhole.” Damiano muttered, embodying a southern accent.

“Why in the holy fucks did you say it like that?” Thomas’s strained voice answered, barely holding in his laughter.

“Because he is dramatic. Now both of you, zip it.” Ethan whispered, not sure if there was anyone awake in the house.

Their trip had ended up taking longer than expected. The original plan was to go to Y/n’s home, get a blanket she used when she was younger, buy snacks and ice cream and then come back and cuddle all night.

Of course, there were a few bumps on the road. The trip to her house should have taken about an hour. Their car, however, decided it would be just so comical to break down halfway there. Between the angry and over-gestured insults thrown at one another, they waited for someone to come help them. Eventually, a kind woman stopped behind them and fixed it. That was one problem out of the way.

When they got to Y/n’s house, they realized no one had gotten the key.

“Thomas, give me the key.” Damiano asked, extending his hand out to the guitarist.

“Me? You gave it to Ethan!”

“Excuse me? Wasn’t it Damiano who had it in the first place?”

Italian arguing ensued. They eventually decided upon propelling Ethan into the second floor window, as he was the lightest and most “built like Santa’s dick”, as Thomas lovingly called him.

Three bruises and a fallen cat later, Ethan managed to climb into Y/n’s room. Grabbing the blanket quickly, he took a photo of the princess stickers on her walls to use as blackmail for later and jumped back out.

“Good, so our last stop is the gas station. Ethan, your wallet please.” Damiano exclaimed happily, looking at Ethan through the mirror of the car. Thomas muttered a slow uh-oh, as Ethan’s face paled, doing the wallet patting all over his body.

“Dear Ethan, tell me you did not lose your wallet or so help me god i will shave your hair off.”

“And I will cut off that Damiano David Dick if you touch my hair.”

Another half an hour later, they were back at Y/n’s house. Ethan climbed into her room again, got the wallet which had fallen out of his pocket when he took out his phone, and they were all on their way back to the gas station.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

The atmosphere in the car was tense. Damiano was at the wheel, staring angrily at every passing car, Ethan next to him, his arms crossed and a judgy look on his face. Thomas was in the back, looking like a lost puppy whose parents had gotten into a fight.

“Okay, well at least we have the blanket.” Thomas whispered as they all took their shoes off, entering the house.

“Yeah, the one fucking thing we could have dealt without.” Ethan’s retort came, making Damiano snort.

“Wait, why does it smell like cinnamon apples?”

“Because someone fucking cooked some?”

“Shut up, both of you.” Ethan was quick to interrupt them, fulfilling his role as a mother-hen. He walked towards the kitchen, examining the pots.

“I think it was Vic. Y/n doesn’t add that much sugar.” Damiano commented, licking the sauce off his finger.

“Why would Vic bake this? She doesn’t even like cinnamon.”

“Do you think that maybe she did it to help Y/n?” Thomas asked, hope building up in his chest. “Even better! Do you think they’re sleeping upstairs cuddled up like they do in movies after years of fighting?”

“Be quiet you romantic fool. They most likely are, considering that the sexual tension between them is enough to choke us all.” Ethan commented, a knowing smile spreading on his lips.

“If CO2 emissions won’t choke us to death their tension will and you may quote me on that.” Muttered Damiano, as he beckoned for the others to follow him up the stairs.

Slowly making their way to the bedroom, anticipation grew inside each one of them- all for different reasons. Damiano wanted his best friend and cousin to finally get along, Ethan wanted to get rid of the arguments and Thomas wanted someone to ship.

Ethan was the one who opened the door, slowly turning the doorknob to avoid any creaks. He almost had to cover Thomas’s mouth when they all saw the two girls cuddled up together. Their hearts melted in the moment, but Ethan and Damiano had to drag the guitarist away before he would go and kiss them both on the forehead.

Walking back downstairs, they pushed him outside, where he could finally start celebrating.

“I KNEW IT! I WAS RIGHT! I KNEW THEY WERE IN LOVE!”

“Thomas, just because they were cuddling doesn’t mean they are in love.” Ethan shut him down, taking a seat on a beach chair.

“Suck my balls, Ethan. Let me be enthusiastic for once.”

The drummer scoffed, leaning back on the chair and inhaling deeply. What a night.

“Alright, I’ll leave you two to it. It is way past midnight and I am tired. I didn’t even get to drink my tea.” Damiano mumbled as he walked away, shoulders slumped and eyelids droopy.

“Buh bye grandpa.”

Ethan chuckled, but he soon followed Damiano inside too. Thomas stayed out for a few more moments, thanking the stars, before heading to bed as well. The events of the following morning would have required a clear head. Who knew what kind of fight Vic and Y/n could get into. If they did, that is.

***

Soft skin touched hers, warming her body up in a delicious way. Vic’s eyes opened slowly as she took in her surroundings. Long, dark hair cascading down her shoulders- fuck. Y/n’s long hair. She had cuddled Y/n all night long.

She was suddenly fully awake, looking around desperately to make sure it wasn’t just a dream. The worst thing that could happen was if she’d wake up and see how panicked Vic was. What would she say? I've been in love with you for years but hid it and instead bullied you like a 12 year old boy?

She rolled away from the girl, almost jumping off the bead and throwing her robe on. She was out the room in a second and heading towards the kitchen, towards a safe space. She would need a coffee for this. Maybe a spiked one.

Y/n woke up a few minutes after Vic. There wasn’t the same reassuring presence that had kept her calm throughout the night. She was cold and sore, looking around for- Vic. Oh she had been with Vic that night. And worst of all… she had left.

“Morning.” Y/n muttered, walking down the stairs. Damiano and Thomas were on the couch, both greeting her.

The smell of pancakes reached Y/n, calling her over to the kitchen where she found Ethan shirtless, making breakfast.

“Oh, buongiorno amore. How did you sleep?”

Y/n blushed, remembering last night. She had seen Vic completely naked, and had been touching every single inch of her body. But she left. Vic left her. Y/n knew she regretted it. She always backed down from things like these.

The new perspective she had of the night made her recoil at her own touch. It was as if the grazes she considered as a cure last night became a bitter potion in her body.

“I fell asleep quickly. I still feel like shit though.”

“Well that’s surprising. From what I remember you were still sleeping like a puppy this morning.” Vic smirked as she strutted into the kitchen, grabbing a plate from one of the cabinets.

Ethan’s eyes widened, having a feel for where the conversation was about to go. He quickly turned off the stove and went into the living room, giving the girls some privacy.

“Well, you must not have been there to see me wake up.”

Vic puffed, rolling her shoulders back as If they were about to fight physically.

“Well pardon me If I didn't want to wake you up. But that’s not what’s bothering you.”

Y/n was thrown off by how careful Vic was being. She hadn’t made any sarcastic retort, hadn’t judged or insulted her in some way.

“Well, you left. It would have been nice to not wake up freezing.” Y/n answered, making a joke out of all of it.

“Sleep in my bed tonight too, and I promise I’ll be there when you wake up.”

Y/n frowned again and turned to look at Vic. She eyed her up and down to see if there was something wrong, something Y/n hadn’t noticed.

“You’re tense, Y/n. Relax.” She whispered, approaching the girl and rubbing her shoulders in a soothing way.

“No, wait. Vic, get the fuck away. What the hell are you doing?” She was mad now. Perhaps it was her brain, who couldn’t let her believe that Vic could actually care for her, or just a gut feeling that told her not to trust the girl.

“Y/n, can you please stop. I don’t want you getting stressed again.” Vic answered, getting frustrated at how Y/n shut her out, despite clinging to her body for dear life the previous night.

“And why would you care?” She asked, ice cold as she waited for Vic to admit it was all a ruse and she had no interest in her.

“Because I love you!” The words left her mouth before her brain could stop her.

Vic’s eyes widened, her breath caught in her throat as she waited for Y/n’s reaction. She was silent for a few moments, looking back at her with a deep sorrow that broke Vic apart.

“How.” Her voice was small, broken. A toy thrown around all her life, who could not believe that someone could possibly care for her. To love her, that’s what she never managed to fathom.

Tears threatened to fall out of Vic’s icy blue eyes. She slowly walked towards Y/n, cupping her cheek gently and continued looking into her eyes, hoping that her affection would get to her.

“Why, Vic.” She asked again, tears already reddening her cheeks as she leaned into Vic’s hand.

The blonde didn’t know how to respond. She slowly got closer to her face, so close she didn’t know whose air she was breathing and kissed her.

It was slow. Her lips barely grazed above her, so softly not even a feather would move away. Her arms went around Y/n hugging her tightly, but keeping the same, light pressure on her lips.

God, how much she had dreamed of them. They looked like pillows, dyed a rosy color, the same as the plants you would find tangled up in trees. How her lips moved when she talked, when she smiled, yawned, screamed or her personal favorite, when she gasped. They would be slightly parted yet still sucked in.

“Victoria.” She spoke against her lips, not bothering to pull apart. She said it as if it was a prayer. As if the safety she had found in the blonde was now hers to keep, to treasure.

Vic lifted a hand up to the nape of her neck, and pulled her closer. Their mouths were now moving in sync, each one taking turns to explore the other.

Vic kept kissing her passionately, holding her in her hands. She stopped for a moment, breathing as deeply as Y/n was, and licked her lower lip. It was soft, just as she had imagined. A small scar by the corner caught her attention, and she swiped her tongue over it a few times. She left a light kiss to Y/n’s lip before biting it softly, earning a gasp from the girl.

“Vic.” She said again.

This time, she pulled away and went back to staring into her eyes again.

“I love you too.”

#maneskin #victoria de angelis #maneskin fic #måneskin #fluff #angst #blurbs #requests open #ethan torchio #damiano david #thomas raggi #victoria x reader #ethan x reader #thomas raggi x y/n #victoria de angelis x reader #damiano x reader #just a bunch of softness

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