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kaladinkholins · 3 months

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Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.

And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.

And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.

Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.

This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.

And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.

Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.

So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.

It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.

Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.

These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.

Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.

Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.

And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).

But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.

Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.

On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:

"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."

Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.

And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.

Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.

So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.

This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.

In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.

To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #just in case... im gonna tag this as #mizukemicritical #akemizucritical #though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters #for that reason lemme also tag this as #wank.mp3 #feel free to disagree of course but please be civil #and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3 #fandom.rtf #meta dissertations.pdf #shut up haydar #edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun!#it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it #it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future #but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me #but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!!#plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!!#i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!!#but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.

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rainerioun · 1 month

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𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖳𝖱𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖥𝖨𝖳𝖲 𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖥𝖴𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖤 𝖱𝖤𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖯? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hey there! In this reading, we'll explore which romantic/writing trope might fit your relationship with your future spouse best. Some of these themes can get pretty deep, so if you're not in the right headspace for that, perhaps come back another time. <3

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST

PILE ONE

ENEMIES TO LOVERS. | RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME. | STAR-CROSSED.

Romance Trope? Knight of Wands [Reversed]. | Ten of Wands [Reversed]. | The Hanged Man [Reversed].

For some, a person from your past might resurface. Either way, there will be a separation. When you first encounter your future spouse, one or both of you may be going through a dark time. I should state that this connection will never become manipulative or deeply toxic, which nobody should accept or endorse.

Nonetheless, this connection won't be smooth sailing in the beginning. While serious hatred will not arise, there'll be a struggle to understand each other, which stems from inner wounds. Seeing reflections of yourself in them, and vice versa, leads to frustration because neither of you has fully healed yet. Stubbornness on both sides leads to drifting apart. Impulsive actions worsen the situation, causing you to dislike each other.

Initially, I wasn't quite sure how to define the relationship because y'all aren't really enemies, just two hurt people.

Expansion. Community. | Hostilities. | Anxiety.

Your future spouse might come into your life through a friend or an acquaintance, perhaps in a familiar setting you visit often. The connection between you both sparks a profound realization, which leads to heightened anxiety and tension. It might feel like you weren't supposed to meet this person, but in truth, you were destined to cross paths. Because when you reunite in the future, you'll love each other through the toughest times and cherish each other even more during the best moments. You're meant to teach each other lessons that no one else could, guiding you back to where you're meant to be in the end. I definitely see sleepless nights, though. — You might find each other again in the place you originally met.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dolphin : Innately Intelligent, Healer, Light Blessings. Bear : Waking From Spiritual Slumber. Beginning Anew.

When you reunite, both you and this person have undoubtedly grown. It's a chance to begin anew with them at the right moment. Your future spouse has a knack for making people question themselves, but with you, it's particularly intense. While it may have caused hurt in the past for both of you, now you can work through it together.

While pulling the cards, I heard a distinct and amusing cackle, almost like a 'dolphin laugh,' even their giggles could be a loud and funny.

Insight. Hermit — Light : Seeks solitude to focus intently on inner life. Serves personal creativity. Shadow : Withdraws from society of others. Refusing to help those in need. Father — Light : Talent for creating and supporting life. Positive guiding light within a tribal unit. Shadow : Dictatorial control. Abuse of authority. Fool — Light : Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy. Shadow : Using humor to wound rather than liberate. Denial of your emotional truth.

Your future spouse will always have an introverted nature, but before change occurs, they are extremely reserved, perhaps to an unhealthy extent. They could be overly engrossed in work, other projects, or family matters, possibly taking on a leadership role for their siblings, which can be stressful even if they don't live together. Beneath the surface, they have a playful side. In the past, both of you might have been a too naive, but you'll reconnect when they emanate this strong fatherly energy. I'm hearing, 'Young, Dumb, and Broke.'

Additional. Soulmates : Soul Connection, Partnership, Agreement, Soul Contract. Coffin : Endings Bring New Beginnings, Growth, Change, Liberation, Transition. Separation : Sadness, Missing You, Thinking About You, Yearning, Unsure of Future. Clock : Need Time, Takes Time, In Time, Cycles, Time to Heal, Progress.

There might be a bit of a chase for a while, whether it's conscious or not. When you make efforts to understand them, they might pull away, and the same goes for you. As much as it feels strange to say it, the label of twin flames could suit this connection. However, you'll eventually overcome this phase. It's possible you were only meant to learn the lesson of self-betterment from each other in this life, but both of your paths took unexpected turns, leading you to find each other despite it all. You both will make up time from not only your younger years, but previous lifetimes.

When everything falls into place and you seek forgiveness from each other, this connection becomes truly extraordinary. It's profound and complex, holding such true beauty. Eventually, it settles into something steady, providing the stability and fulfillment you both crave. Life together feels as close to perfect as it can get.

Take A Walk : Passion Pit. | Salad Days : Mac Demarco. | The Blower's Daughter : Damien Rice.

PILE TWO

FORCED PROXIMITY. | WORKPLACE.

Romance Trope? The Emperor. | Justice. | Four of Pentacles.

You and your future spouse will be drawn to each other no matter what, as if fate itself is pulling you together. You'll find yourself in situations where you encounter your future spouse frequently. I suspect this could be through some form of work. It's possible they might hold a higher position than you, maybe even a boss, though it's not necessary. They could simply have a lot of influence and trust. In some manner, this person plays a role in ensuring your financial stability.

Expansion. Angel of Strength. | Cornucopia. | Man Holding A Coin.

Once more, this person holds a certain sway over you. For some, this influence might stem from them being your client. They control your actions because they requested them.

It all depends on your current profession or your future plans. If you're primarily self-employed, even if you have a 'boss', this person might approach you as a client or possibly someone seeking work. However, if you're in a more corporate environment, they could be your boss or a colleague.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dragon : Seeing One’s Most True Self, Balancing The Ego. Bat : Darkness, Letting Go, Death Leading To Rebirth. Lizard : Instinctual, Sensitive to The Subtle, Dreamer.

Your future spouse isn't really the bossy type. They can be assertive but are generally understanding and flexible. I don't see a power struggle whatsoever. They could be a natural leader, yet I believe their compassionate and accommodating nature prevents them from being cutthroat or overly blunt. Their work is very important to them, but they also recognize the humanity in their co-workers.

Insight. Healer — Light : Passion to serve others by repairing the body, mind, and spirit. Ability to help transform pain into healing. Shadow : Taking advantage of those who need help. Failing to care for oneself. Thief — Light : Sheds light on the potential wealth within you that can never be stolen. Shadow : Stealing money, creative ideas, affection or other powers you think you lack. God — Light : Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others. Shadow : Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people.

As I mentioned before, this person will play a role in guiding your career somehow. They'll have things to teach you, just as you'll have things to teach them. You might notice an increase in financial opportunities or wealth around the time you meet this person, probably because of their doing, but maybe not!

Additional. Karmic Relationship : Fleeting, Turmoil, Resentment, Lessons, Letting go and Loving you. Camera : Reminiscing, Keepsake, Perception, Learn From the Past, Make Memories. Girl Talk : Time with Friends, Moving On, Happily Single, Living in the Moment, Having Fun. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility.

Before anyone gets worried, let me clarify that I didn't take the Karmic Relationship card too seriously. I interpreted the message as affirming that this relationship will involve significant learning and growth. Not everyone will end up parting ways with this person, but everyone involved will gain valuable insights from the other. This connection could help both of you avoid repeating past mistakes. — As an alternate message, I'd like to add that it's time to let go of past relationships. Your future partner wants you to embrace self-love and believes in your ability to find happiness within yourself. Mastering contentment while single will not only attract them sooner but also teach you a valuable lesson that's ready to be learned.

Your future spouse will stand by your side and do everything in their power to support you. They aren't just interested in your safety and stability; they'll actively work to make sure it happens. Their actions speak volumes in this regard.

Partition : Beyoncé. | I Will : Mitski.

PILE THREE

SECOND CHANCE. | FORBIDDEN LOVE.

Romance Trope? Two of Bows/Wands [Reversed]. | Seven of Vessels/Cups. | Two of Vessels/Cups [Reversed]. | The Green Woman. | Ten of Bows/Wands.

For many of you, I don't believe this is just an ex. I sense a third-party element at play here. Pinpointing a main scenario is too tricky; it varies for everyone by a lot. Perhaps you meet this person through a friend with whom you'll later drift apart with. Maybe your future partner happens to be a sibling of a friend. The possibilities are numerous. Nonetheless, there's someone who acts as a bridge between you both, influencing the connection. You might even have someone in mind already as you read this.

Regardless of the circumstances, I don't think your future spouse is the cause of this temporary 'separation', which might end up being a lack of communication for a short period of time until the situation resolves itself. I can't see a time where your future spouse was previously unkind or unpleasant to you, but rather it's more likely that the mutual person between you two played that role. If there are any rumors circulating, your future spouse will likely discern who's at fault and support you.

Expansion. Angel of Love. | Fifth Chakra : Archangel Gabriel. | Magician and The Mirror.

At first, your future spouse might assume they're to blame for the fallout and feel guilty about it. This uncertainty might delay the reconnection, even though they're fully committed to being by your side. They'll struggle with how to initiate fixing things, but eventually, they'll gather the courage to try. This reconciliation could happen online, if that resonates.

The forbidden aspect of this connection might originate from parental expectations, like qualities they require in your partner. Remember, you always have a choice in this matter. If not, it's not necessarily wrong but might be viewed with disapproval, such as getting involved with a friend's ex-partner.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Tiger : Lunar Force, Ease in Darkness, Feminine Energy. Raccoon : Talented, Shadowy, In Hiding. Hawk : Watchful, All-Seeing, Messenger of Divinity.

Your future spouse is incredibly passionate and generous in their relationships and friendships, and this will shine even more when you two reconnect. They'll be open and sincere about their love for you once they emerge from hiding.

Insight. Addict — Light : Helps you recognize and confront addictive behavior. Shadow : Compromises integrity and honesty. Allows an addictive pattern to have authority over your inner spirit. Avenger — Light : Desire to balance the scales of justice. Righteousness on behalf of society or oneself. Shadow : Resorting to violence in the name of a cause. Seeker — Light : Thirst for wisdom and truth wherever they are. Shadow : Inability to commit to a path once found.

After reconnecting, your future spouse will become more righteous, not just in relationships, but in all aspects of life. They won't stand for their loved ones being mistreated and will seek truth in murky situations, sharing their insights to keep you informed. They'll be honest about areas needing improvement while maintaining their patient and kind nature. By this time, they will understand how to be straightforward yet gentle.

Additional. The Butterfly : Relationship Evolving to the Next Phase, Healing the Inner Child, Growth. Boat : Receiving What You Need, Progression, Arriving, Moving On, Closure Issues. Girl With a Snake : Empath and Narcissist Paradigm, Being Charmed or Used, Enable Boundaries. Heartbroken : Deeply Hurt, Sad, Separation, Breakup, Feeling Lost, Grieving, Mourning.

Reconnecting with you will be a healing and transformative experience for them. It will bring closure to their past, and you might need to reassure them that your aren't going anywhere. It's a bit odd, but lately, I've been watching Supernatural, and this person reminds me of Sam Winchester. They have a strong desire to protect you, but sometimes they might overextend themselves trying to provide for you. Which isn't your fault at all, they just need a reminder to relax and slow down.

Killer : The Ready Set. | She Looks So Perfect : 5 Seconds of Summer. | Holding Hands : The Magic Lantern.

PILE FOUR

FRIENDS TO LOVERS. | SOULMATES.

Romance Trope? Six of Pentacles. | Seven of Cups [Reversed]. | Three of Wands [Reversed].

Although it's one of the sweetest piles, it's also a tad messy. Not everyone will relate to this aspect, but take what resonates.

This person could be from your childhood or teenage years, or maybe someone you've recently met, or have yet to meet. Anything really. However, I feel for the majority it's someone you know. You have to figure this part out for yourself. But regardless, they're incredibly generous toward you, whether it's with money, affection, or understanding. However, this connection isn't without its challenges. Despite being very supportive, you'll have to navigate obstacles together. There might be setbacks or delays, but ultimately, your bond will grow stronger and develop into a romantic relationship.

Expansion. Strategy. | Storm Warning. | Healer of the Ages.

This part might only apply to a few, but I don't necessarily see it as your next relationship. Why? Well, because there are cards here, and later in the reading, that hint at some kind of breakup, which your future spouse helps you navigate through.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Elk : Stable, Resilient, Headstrong, The Father. Turtle : Ancient Soul, Grounded, Trusting, At Home in the Self. Crocodile : Resting, Submerging, Collecting Energy, Cooling Off.

Your future spouse will always carry the aura of a caregiver, being nurturing and extending their kindness towards both loved ones and strangers alike. They have a natural inclination towards being giving but possess a discerning eye when it comes to where and who they invest their energy. Their actions are consistent, and they seem calm and collected.

Your future spouse really embodies the ideal father figure and likely connect effortlessly with children. Patience and wisdom are strong in their nature, further enhancing this energy. They're like a true teddy bear until provoked.

Insight. Student — Light : Humility and devotion to knowledge. Openness to lifelong learning. Shadow : Arrogance in the pursuit of destructive knowledge. Unwillingness to translate knowledge into action. Prince — Light : Romantic charm and potential for power. Shadow : Using power for self-aggrandizement. Companion — Light : Loyalty, tenacity, and unselfishness. Shadow : Betrayal by misusing confidences. Loss of personal identity.

Think of your ideal "prince charming" - that's precisely who your future spouse is, whether in appearance or mindset. Gender doesn't limit this; it's about their energy and attitude. They have boundless curiosity, always eager to explore life and learn. Their fascination with you extends to wanting to know every detail, so they can envision and arrange everything in their mind. Loyalty and romance are ingrained in them, qualities you'll surely cherish. They're very charming.

Even in friendship, your future spouse exhibits a strong protective instinct, perhaps even a hint of possessiveness. You might not even realize your love for them until something sudden strikes. It's really like something out of fan fiction, where a seemingly random spark is actually the culmination of a slow burn. This realization may dawn on you when your future spouse defends or stands up for you in some manner. Suddenly, all the signs they've been dropping will become clear, and even the glance from them afterward will convey everything you need to know.

Additional. The Phoenix : New Phase, Rekindle, Renew, Transformation, Growth, Changed Mind. Stabbed in the Back : Heartbreak, Pain, Separation, Deception, Shocking Attack. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility. Mask : Not Showing True Feelings, Hide, Personify, Pretend, Delude, Gaslighting. Sunglasses : Watching, Looking, Stalking, Gaslighting, Perception, Focusing Out. Keys on a Ring : Many Options, Decision, Unconventional, String Along, One Night Stand.

For those it applies to, I'm revisiting my earlier point about being in a relationship and your future spouse's good sense of judgment regarding character. If this doesn't resonate, feel free to skip and check out the songs instead. Thank you!

Your future spouse had already secretly admired you for some time. Aware of your existing relationship, they struggled to suppress their feelings. Amidst the chaos in their mind, they couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right with your partner. They wanted to reach out to warn you out of genuine concern, but you dismissed it as an overreaction. There's a chance your partner at the time suspected something between you two, leading to a sudden end to the relationship [Although, I don't think there was anything actually happening.] They might have harbored resentment for a while. But fear not, your future partner comes to the rescue. Whether they witness the breakup or support you afterward, you'll come to realize that your true feelings lay with them all along, but you were blinded by the allure of another. With too many choices before, you failed to think clearly and see what was right in front of you.

Like That : Jack and Jack. | Somewhere Only We Know : Keane. | Little Person : Matt Maltese. | Boyfriend : Dove Cameron. [Update: Forgot to add a song, sorry!]

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zeldasnotes · 4 months

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𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖓 𝕬𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖙𝖔 🦇

This post is mostly about the hard aspects(square, conjunct, opposition) but people with the soft aspects might relate too. Also keep in mind these are my personal observations so not everyone will agree.

🌑 The need to be in control can sometimes be devastating to live with. It can even be felt physically when they are losing control or when they feel powerless. Feeling powerless can make them act in a very disturbing way.

🌒 People with this placement might be the black sheep of the family. There seem to often be something with them that differs from the rest of the family, especially physically. A lot of times they are darker than other family members since this placement can create darker features. But there seem to also be a huge difference in personality.

🌓 They have experienced women not liking them for no reason and later in life they often become like this themselves if they dont work on it. Often there is a theme of older women being mean to them and then they grow up to be the mean old woman who targets a young girl.

🌑 Ive also seen a theme of them having an evil stepmom and then they themselves meet a man when kids and treats their stepchildren just like their stepmother treated them.

🌒 There is a habit of writing people off or disliking someone based on a feeling they got from them that was actually just themselves projecting their own inner fear onto this person. Others get this feeling about them too and they are often themselves a victim of others disliking them for no reason.

🌓 It can be very hard for them to take a look in the mirror and see that they are causing a lot of the issues in their relationships themselves because they are so hyperfocused on what their partner is doing or might do.

🌑 A lot of times there was a grandmother who disliked them or were mean to them. So its not always the mother who was the worst, the issues can be with grandmothers and stepmothers too. For some reason they seem to have good aunts tho? Like their aunties seem to be the most normal in the family.

🌒 This can make someone extremely vengeful & they can resent someone for a lifetime.

🌓 People with this placement seem to often want to become popular or know a lot of people to feel like they have power. Or even want to be feared.

🌑 They seem to often be paranoid in the wrong situations but as soon as they let their guard down they get burned. Especially when it comes to women. This leads to a strong fear of letting the guard down and can make them push a lot of people away.

🌒 Eating disorders seem to be very common with these placements since eating disorders are often about control.

🌓 They fear anything that has to do with powerlessness. Being looked down on is also a huge fear here. This can make them social climbers and cloutchasers in some cases. Being a part of the ”bottom of society” is a huge fear here so they can be very drawn to important people, titles, status symbols and high power careers.

🌑 They might be very ashamed of their sensitive nature and therefore try to act as carefree as possible. Or even force themselves to become carefree and cold.

🌒 This coldness usuallt occurs in their teens until their early twenties where they shut down completely emotionally. This often makes them VERY problematic during their teens.

🌓 In the end of their teens or in their twenties they usually transform completely because of situations in their lives and experience a rebirth of their emotional selves. After this they often become beautiful souls. Not always tho. For a lot of them the bitterness stays forever because life just hasnt been fair to them.

🌑 Both women and men with this placement seems to be bothered by what women do and can be slutshamers. The kind of people to give the stankface to a woman walking by with a short skirt or ”too much” makeup, plastic surgery etc (these are things ive seen moon/pluto people react strongly too lol)

🌒 Men with this placement can have a very strong feminine energy and Ive noticed that a lot of them beef with women instead of beefing with other men and even hate on women they never met.

🌓 They do NOT like other sneaky people, unless its a man. A woman with this placement might for example refuse to talk to a woman who she gets bad vibes from but will love a man with shady vibes. Might hate a woman because ”shes fake and talks a lot of shit” but will be the first to be with a man who talks shit about people.

🌑 They pick up the psychological state of everyone extrememy fast and therefore can have strong reactions to others, especially people who remind them of themselves.

🌒 Sometimes there can be a fear of becoming like their mother. They might have a mother whos done a lot of mistakes and they are afraid of becoming like her. In some cases they can even have a feeling of disgust for their mother.

🌓 Punishment in their childhood might have been very harsh and involved stuff related to safety and nurture. Such as not getting food, being thrown out of the house.

🌑 Their mother might have liked to show her power by weird rules and ideas. If the child was freezing outside for example and wanted to come in the mother might be like ”You can come in when the clock is 5”. Or if the child was hungry ”You get food when you finished your homework.” Safety and nurture was not to be taken for granted like in normal households.

🌒 This can lead to very deep issues concerning these things and a feeling of never being safe. This can make them very fixated with food and control later in life.

🌓 The mother often had no respect for their private life or might have a hard time with boundaries. In extreme cases even being fixated on the Moon/Pluto childs sex life and relationships. The kind of mother to read their daughters diary or spy on their daughter/son when they are in their room with a romantic partner.

🌑 There is often a case of their mother figure being disgusted by them one minute and kind the next. They recieved very strong reactions from their mother figure and at times even extreme anger for nothing.

🌒 A strong fear of being controlled or used so much that they might need to rebel against what someone wants them to do to feel in control. Lets say its their friends birthday and their friends tells them that a pair of new headphones is on their wishlist. The Moon/Pluto will then buy anything but the headphones because that makes them feel used or ”what if shes telling me to buy headphones bc she knew i will run and do it, hmm i aint that easily used so i will buy something else instead to show I do what I want.” These kind of mindf*ckery is constantly going on in their head.

🌓 Betrayal by women can be a strong theme in their life. And a lot of times completely out of nowhere. Like women in their life might start disliking them for no reason without warning.

🌑 A lot of them might have experienced bullying in their childhood by a woman who was jealous of them. And might even had to change school. A lot of their issues seems to be from women envying them. And if they have asteroid Lilith or Medusa prominent this can be very extreme.

🌒 They are not only victims of others envy they can be very envious themselves too. They might not be easily jealous but WHEN they get jealous it will be extreme.

🌓 The relationship to the mother is very complicated because a lot of times the mother is the only one who understands them but at the same time the person who hurt them. Also the mother can sometimes be very similar to them. They might go long periods without talking to their mother and then a period where they hang out with her every day.

🌓 I know a lot of these observations might be negative but thats because some aspects come with more negative then positive. But these aspects can make someone extremely sensitive, loyal and kind since they understand human nature. And a lot of them make wonderful mothers/fathers.

🌑 I also want to say that these people experience issues with people with feminine energy not only women. So they will most likely have some issues with men who are feminine too, maybe even more because feminine men can be extra sensitive to this strong energy if the man is not comfortable with this energy himself.

🌒 They can feel more comfortable around ”bad” people and might not be able to hang with people who are too innocent. They can be real drama addicts.

🌓 People with this placement can be very breastfixated.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #birth chart readings #moon square pluto #moon conjunct pluto

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janesgms · 6 months

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Plutonian Women

(and unraveling their destiny)

This post can be quite messy because I only wanted to share my thoughts on this topic. Do not take all of this as my absolute truth because these are things that I've thought for quite a while seeing it in my life and personally too.

Something I've realized lately is that Plutonian Women go through unique situations that set them apart from other people. And in this case, I'm refering to women only and not men because this is based on my experience, and you all know that energies manifest differently according to the gender so I'm not gonna afirm this also apply to men when I haven't seen it in my world, also, as we are tired of seeing, women are treated differently from men in our society so we cope with things differently.

Firstly, I wanted to talk about placements that make a woman Plutonian in my opinion (when I say "Plutonian", I mean someone who is heavily affected by Pluto in their natal chart), but you can relate to this post whether you have some of these aspects or not, so share your experiences with me, I'd love to know!

🔮 1H/5H/8H/10H Pluto.

🔮 0° Pluto.

🔮 Pluto in water degrees (bonus points if there are aspected placements who are also in water degrees).

🔮 Pluto aspecting big 6 (specially harsh aspects: conjunction, opposition, square, contra-parallel / also specially the luminaries - sun, moon - and mars).

🔮 Pluto in the same personal planets/asc.

🔮 Pluto aspects to outer planets in case it's also aspecting big 6.

🔮 I think Pluto aspect BM Lilith/Chiron can also play a part in this.

🔮 Scorpio Pluto if it's conjuncting or heavily aspecting other placements.

What distincts a Plutonian Woman from the rest is their gravitational energy that pulls you in like a black hole, and as intensely as one. Their eyes hold a shadow of their past traumas and occasions but with a touch of mystery that makes you wonder what they went through in their lives. Their stare is heavy and filled with emotions (let's not forget Pluto still rules a water sign).

I don't like to condemn people for their placements, but I think Plutonian Women came to this life to suffer a lot before gaining what they want and deserve, and this seemingly infinite cycle of pain will only end when they learn how to cope healthily with things of life. One of the reasons why they go through so much is their way of seeing and feeling. Plutonian Women feel things in almost a transcendental way, they feel intensely and with this, they can put themselves through "unnecessary" situations when not careful. They're also prone to self destructive behavior, their heart usually puts a dark veil in their thoughts when their emotions come crashing in like a hurricane. Their pain is the embodiment of "female rage", when they cry hard, it's a mix of anger, sadness, sorrow and everything that they were holding back from a while - because they do hold emotions - but they can't run away from their deepest parts, and one day everything overflows and they can finally reborn from that suffering; the music "Pretty When You Cry" describes them perfectly, because they're indeed pretty when they cry and crying frees them in a way, and a lot of people actually like to seem them suffer? Plutonian Women attract questionable men or women (romantically), because they're almost like a beautiful show to watch, and these men/women like them best when they're falling apart, but manipulation can arise and fool them (they should be careful with 12H synastry specifically, the apparently good ones can actually be the wolf in sheep's clothes).

But back to the way Plutonian Women perceive the world, they are actually fragile at heart, but they try to hide it at all costs, they have a pure heart who could be derranged due to childhood/romantic/any other issues but who has no bad intentions most of the times. I think of them as victims of situations they have no control of since young.

However, to be more positive, I'd like to say that this is not a death sentence at all. Indeed, death is the right word to describe Plutonian Women because they die all the time (figuratively speaking, but literal death can be very present in their life too) and they are reborn as better people. Unfortunately, justice or karma is not much on their side because the world can be a place very unfair most of the times, but I think this is due the fact that they souldn't focus on revenge or negative thoughts, even though they can do it a lot as a way of thinking as a "justice". But the message they should learn is that they should focus on getting better, prettier, wiser, smarter instead of losing energy thinking on lower vibrational people.

The truth is that Plutonian Women are the defintion of a a Phoenix, if you do them wrong, you can be sure that they will gain their dignity back and get back stronger than ever, even with a "fragile" heart as I said, they have a malicious mind that protects this side of them; and also, once they apparently heal their deepest and oldest wounds, it gets harder and harder to break their shell, but if you were capable of doing so, just know that you opened all of them and made the Plutonian suffer all again and go to hell and back.

Overall, the word that describes them best is "raw" because this is what they truly are (in the best way possible lol). Due to this, they can attract a lot of hate - similar to lilith women and specially if they are also lilith "dominant" - from people who don't understand their beauty or actions, because their beauty is truly sharp, hypnotizing, dark and undescribable, furthermore, their actions are particularly unique and most of the times hide their intentions, they never do something significant without thinking first. They ultimstely search for what's beyond the surface, when in love, they wanna know your soul and more, they despise flings, they wanna get to know the depths of their s/o's being, they love hard but also get heartbroken hard when it happens. Academically, they like to be strategic and hardworking when they see it's worth the work, they can be perfectionist because they're hard on themselves most of the times. So, afterall, what's their destiny? Their destiny is to feel accepted and comfortable in their own skin, to get over their traumas and allowing themselves to be better, to let go of toxic people and surroundings, to not engage in toxic relationships anymore, to free themselves from karmic debts and to be finally happy.

Plutonian Women probably feel a deep connection with spirituality, astrology, pstchology, crying, darkness, mystery, the unknown, black/red/purple/dark blue, sad and profound songs, the night, dark places in general, mourning, wakes, death celebrations, soul level bonds and conversations.

Plutonian Women are masterpieces who deserve more from the world and people, they've gone through a lot and they should be 100% respected, sending a lot of love to all of you ❤️‍🔥

Hey guyssss, I missed posting actual posts here but I wasn't feeling inspired lately. But I'm back!!! I hope you guys understand my point of view and I typed this with all my heart because I was based on my personal experiences and people around me's experiences. I was thinking in also making a post about Lilith Women since I also have a lot to say about that either ! Thanks for the support and see you later or sooner 💋 Also in case you noticed I didn't focused in scorpio placements here because I think they work differently (I just don't know how to explain this difference tbh, so I focused on actual Pluto)

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #astro community #pluto #plutonian #pluto placements

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gatorbites-imagines · 10 months

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Was wondering if I could maybe do a hobbie brown request?

I was thinking of something like M!reader being an alternate universe version of Miguel's child who, rather than dying himself, had to watch his dad die, basically becoming a smaller version of Miguel but with some key differences (ie like having difficulties with controlling his powers when he’s emotional or having authority issues) and Hobbie seems to take a liking towards him?

Hobie Brown x O’Hara male reader

Headcanons

Theres really not enough hobie gifs,,,,

I literally got a spidersona whose Miguel’s son lmaooo, not movie Miguel, but like, the Miguel from a different earth. So, the reader is based off of him in this :3c

You would have joined the spider society after an abnormality appeared in your world. Everyone had expected to meet another version of Miguel, since it was set in Nueva York. But instead, they got you.

You were younger, angrier, had less control of your powers, and had little to no respect for authority. And though it pained you deeply to see Miguel, he didn’t have a similar reaction, since he had a daughter and not a son.

Others started to avoid you since you had a tendency to snap at others and your powers made it even harder for you to get close to anyone. Like your dad, you kept to yourself and let yourself stew in your misery.

The first time you met Hobie was during on of your common arguments with Miguel. You two were way too alike, meaning you two butted heads, a lot. You each had your own way of doing things and didn’t like change. Maybe it was the O’Hara in your blood, but you never backed down.

It became a common sight to see the two of you hissing and snapping at each other, you because Miguel looked exactly like the dad who had abandoned you, and Miguel because you were like a reflection of himself and all the things he hated about himself.

After another one of your explosive arguments, you stomped out of Miguel’s “office”, but before you could get fat Hobie fall down from the ceiling and started walking beside you, giving you some compliment about how you never seemed to back down against authority.

In the beginning Hobie had annoyed you a lot, you had tried to chase him off like you had everyone else, but Hobie didn’t seem to act like everyone else.

He had a feeling that you chased off anyone who might like you because you feel you don’t deserve it, and after a long time of needling and prodding, you two became closer. At this time, you were both developing feelings, but you didn’t accept you liked someone, and Hobie felt no need to rush it.

As you became good friends, your image at hq became lighter, as having a friend seemingly was what you needed. Someone who’d talk you down when you fell back too much on your anger and spidery biology, and someone who’d listen when you needed to talk, and Hobie was a great listener.

Hobie ends up learning about your situation. You father was Miguel O’Hara, your earths version of him, and he was spiderman. He had you with your mother, and when you were young he left and never returned. Apparently, he believed that abandoning you would save you, or he felt he didn’t deserve a family.

When he left you had been old enough to know he abandoned you, and seeing spiderman on tv screens and on the internet only made you and your mother feel worse.

And then one day Spiderman died. Not long after that your mother got remarried and you started developing your powers. They had stayed dormant until you reached a certain age, and your mother and her husband had reacted horribly to this.

They turned horribly abusive, and you had to run away when you were a teen. One thing led to another, and Miguel’s brother Gabriel helped you onto your feet. He hadn’t known you existed until then.

Together he taught how to control your powers, he had helped you become spiderman, and then he died. He was your uncle ben you could say, but you held his words close to your heart to become a better spiderman, even though your powers became too much sometimes.

Talking about your issues ended up helping you a lot, and even though you do rage sometimes, its much less now, and you start to get closer to the other spiderpeople around your age.

At some point, when you and Hobie are hanging out in your dimension, sitting on a rooftop and eating something you got from a food truck, Hobie turns to you.

You both have your masks pushed up, or rather Hobie has his pushed up, and yours is a hologram and has just disappeared from the bottom of your face.

Before you can react, Hobie has leaned over and kissed you. You don’t even get to return the kiss before he’s pulled away and returned to his food, acting as casual as ever. Its only when you shake him demanding an answer that he tells you that he likes you.

Thanks to all the growth you’ve done as a person you are able to admit that you like him too, and another kiss is shared between the two of you. And after that, you two became a thing.

Hobie was never one for labels, but hed accept the label of being your boyfriend. He happily told anyone who asked, almost bragging that he was able to get you to agree to date him, which always leads to you rolling your eyes at him but smiling, just a little.

Miguel almost has a heart attack when he learns you and Hobie are dating, because after all this time hes started to see you in a familial light, and you have started to see him in a similar way. He will never be your original dad, and you will never be his daughter, but that’s okay.

Hobie is very proud of you for making such great progress, so he takes you out on a date. He isn’t one for big expensive dates, so it would be something like swinging around his city together, or cuddling in his apartment as you watch a movie.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to join the spider society as you thought it was.

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darkcircles4lyfe · 2 months

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To Build Something Else

Whenever I read a fanfiction that takes place in the future where the hero kids continue their schooling as normal and emerge as pro heroes into the existing system, I always kinda view it as like, “AU where things weren’t as bad” or “AU where everyone is still pretending that this is the way things should be” or “AU where good and evil are morally uncomplicated.” I’m not trying to call anybody out—I’ll still read and enjoy these sometimes—but that’s how I’ve always looked at it. I’m starting to notice other people feeling it too. I’ve read fics where they point out how redundant and unfair it is to go back to being students after saving the world (remember how many pros straight up quit and left a bunch of kids to keep fighting?). I’ve seen people acknowledge how trauma will affect their ability to keep going. Perhaps the trickiest thing to wrap our heads around is how the villains will fit into it all if not through death, punishment, or imprisonment. What about all the other trappings of society? The heavily regulated quirk use, the government-funded pros aiding police control and contributing to cover-ups that maintain the illusion of peace. Hero idolization, quirk counseling, civilian helplessness. Judging a person’s worth or character based on their quirk…

It would sound too obvious and cheesy to simply point out that society isn’t “just the way things are,” that change is possible. We all know this, and yet we struggle to pinpoint exactly where to aim our sights, find the source, make any meaningful progress. The other day I read some articles from my university’s student newspaper around 1970, and it made me feel sick wondering if progress is really an illusion. Fact is, it’s easy to intellectually deconstruct society, but very difficult to imagine how to build something else.

In this fictional world, heroes have offered a mythical vision of safety and triumph. When All Might arrived, everything was going to be okay. But let’s not forget how this story began: with a moment where All Might paused, like a bystander, and in his place, a desperate civilian kid hurtled forward without any common sense. If you ask me, it wasn’t that Izuku was so good and pure and selfless, it was that he disregarded everything.

And so the person who “saves the world” (if we can even reduce it to such a concept) is not the person who puts everyone at ease and makes crowds cheer. It’s the person who makes everyone hold their breath, with a feeling in the air like the pressure changed, and it smells like rain. It is natural to be worried about the future. It’s honest. It means you can see what’s really going on. Hero society has never felt this exposed, but the people are held back from the edge of despair because there is also so much potential brewing. Electricity about to strike. The world will NOT go back to the way it was, no matter what. That much is certain. But what if we still live to see the dawn? What then? What if one person’s courage to break the mold makes all the difference?

I’m not just talking about Izuku, you know. I’m talking about Horikoshi.

To an extent, I’ve given up on predicting how exactly things will play out, because if nothing else, I can tell he’s planning something big—so big, I can’t quite picture it. I’m watching and waiting for the one person who can. I just know where he’s coming from. I think about how he’s never come this far before because his other stories were snuffed out. I know he used to struggle to see the future of his career. I relate to his stubbornly rebellious resolve to do what he wants anyway. To keep dreaming. I know that emotional sincerity is his specialty. And now he’s even directly breaking the fourth wall, having characters talk about what’s supposed to happen in comic books. Gradually, almost imperceptibly at first, we’ve been shown how something else can happen. He’s not done yet.

#listening to bastille's give me the future album again and feeling things #bnha 416 #bnha 417 #bnha manga #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #all might #bnha meta #lin speaks #bakudeku #dekubaku #bkdk #dkbk

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crumblinggothicarchitecture · 12 days

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Taylor Swift is Derivative nonsense, not intellectually placed allusions. I'll die on this hill, and I have many more examples beyond just the one listed below.

Let’s talk about the difference between being derivative and utilizing allusion in text. :)

I’ve seen a lot of defenses for Taylor Swift’s work that hinges on the theoretical concept of intertextuality. People don’t often know that they are arguing over the validity (or emotional impact) of intertextual cessions in Swift’s writing, but they are.

Intertextuality, if you don’t already know, is a set of determinable interwoven texts that all correspond on a particular thematic point. This encompasses, but is not limited to, the literary device of allusion.

There are many examples of intertextual works, since it is intrinsically post-modern. Yet, I want to talk about how Taylor Swift attempts allusions that only ever fall into flat-facing derivative blandness. I want to talk about how, yes, Swift is in the spirit of the age; yet her work devolves into derivative insincerity simply because she is not an artistic writer.

Now, for an egregiously bad allusion. (I think it’s worse because Romeo and Juliet is my favorite Shakespeare play). In “The Albatross” Swift writes, “A rose by any other name is a scandal” in which the obvious allusion is to Shakespeare's, “A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet” from the play Romeo and Juliet. The line in the play is often misquoted, so perhaps Swift is just ignorant, however the line means to draw attention to the fact that names are just words the that do not actually dictate the internal nature of someone.

The full line, from Shakespeare, reads “O be some other name/ What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/ by any other name would smell as sweet;/ So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d” (Romeo and Juliet). Thus, Juliet is lamenting the full divisive way in which her family is at odds with Romeo’s family; upon deeper consideration too, Juliet is modulating how social pressures, often outside our control particularly in youth, can impact and modify the discourse between reality, doing what is proper in accordance with the majority, and intrinsic human desire to fulfill our own needs. So, the line is not only explaining how Romeo and Juliet cannot be together overtly due to familial dispute, but in the same words it explains the full breadth of social dissertation for the pursuit of individual need. Afterall, he would still be Romeo "were he not Romeo call'd." Juliet is admitting that she would still love him with or without the constraint of social obligation due the environment, or family, in which we are born; thus, we can see how individually human desire can be placed at odds with the demands of mainstream society.

This is a nuanced conversation when considering it through moral theory. For instance, we often talk about how people should not go against the mainstream for immoral pursuit of individual desire and that is reasonable; yet herein Shakespeare's work the thematic point is on the morality of love and desire to go against social convention. Shakespeare is saying, "Love is a greater moral good than that of social obligation to follow tradition and to hate who you are trained to hate based on parental teaching." It's a genius fucking line, in a genius fucking play. Now, we all know how the play ends, the lovers run off together, they have a brief day in the sun. However, social pressure and adult obligation catch up to them again and thus they die for it. They die for their courage to love and to go against the mainstream.

Let’s return to Taylor Swift, the human embodiment of mainstream social pressure, as she writes that "a rose by any name is a scandal." As such, she is saying that all roses everywhere are just a scandal waiting to happen. If everything is a scandal, rather than speaking to any nuance grief to the pervasiveness' of social pressure to adhere to mainstream. Swift is simply throwing petulance to the world, by saying “Rose by any other name is a scandal” she limits what a rose could be, or become in using the verb “is” to fully solidify a rose as a scandal; which is a message that is diametrically opposed to the thematic point Shakespeare is making with his line. For Swift, there is no redemption, no nuance, and there is no subtext in which implicit messaging lay to tell people that going against the mainstream might just be the last thing you ever do but God is it worth it. To live with that brief day in the sun. And die for courage. Swift is just saying the opposite and stating that the mainstream is inevitable- there is no use in fighting it. A name is a name. It remains to tell the rose exactly what it is. Swift lacks imagination.

I would argue that Swift does make obvious attempts at allusion in her work, yet it is so poorly done because she does not actually see or use the thematic point of the source material from which she pulls her allusions. For allusions, to be done in an artistic impactful manner, we must keep to the thematic point of the source material. When the allusion is done correctly there is a “layering” effect in literature that redoubles the overarching themes of human experience in a way that calls us from the past, Shakespeare, to the present. Thus, is the theory of intertextuality in literary works.

(I made that bold because it's the main point of this, and I don't want anyone to miss it).

Taylor Swift’s work here simply does not measure up to anything artistic, thoughtful, or well-done. It is simply derivative of Shakespeare, but I don't think it qualifies as a true allusion.

#anti taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ex swiftie #ttpd #shakespeare #romeo and juliet #philosophy #moral theory #literary theory #literary criticism #english lit student #the albatross

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neptunianmars · 2 years

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using the 2H to boost your confidence

the 2H in astrology controls our perception of value, and this is true not only in material things but spiritually- more specifically, our self value. we can look at the placements here to determine what we base our self value on, and how we can use these placements to improve our self value or confidence. this post will be focused on the cusps of the 2H, but pay attention to any planets, asteroids, etc. also <3

Aries 2H: your value will come from self sufficiency. learning how to become independent physically, financially, and emotionally and learning to embrace this will give you a huge sense of empowerment. if you become too dependent on someone or something, your confidence will suffer for it and in turn make you feel insignificant. maintaining your sense of independence and embodying it every day will greatly improve and maintain your confidence.

ex: -spending more time with yourself, -learning to do things you usually need help with, -providing for yourself

Taurus 2H: your value will come from security. if you are ever in a situation where things are rocky, whether physically, financially, or emotionally, your confidence will greatly suffer for it. learning how to create a stable, safe environment for you to be in will improve and maintain your confidence level. it will also be important to learn how to cope with change and instability, since it is a natural part of life.

ex: -prioritizing your basic needs, -not doing anything that threatens your values/morals, -learning how to address change

Gemini 2H: your value will come from connections. making bonds with everyone in your life from friends and siblings to peers and mentors will greatly improve your confidence. it will be important for you to learn the most efficient way for you to communicate with others because if you deal with a lot of tension or misunderstandings socially, your confidence will suffer for it. learning to navigate the world and climb the social ladder will help tremendously.

ex: -branching out/networking more, -learning your communication style and enabling it, -figuring out how to make society work for you

Cancer 2H: your value will come from comfortability. finding a place or people to call home and embracing this home will be the best thing for your confidence. even if you don't realize you feel lonely, not having these important connections in your life will lower your confidence. you need to feel safe financially with a good home, physically in an ideal location, and emotionally with fulfilling, caring people around you.

ex: -prioritizing your loved ones, -creating a sacred safe place for yourself, -giving great care to your emotional needs

Leo 2H: your value will come from creativity. self expression is the key to your esteem and how you view yourself. if you feel as though you can't be yourself freely, your confidence will suffer for it. put yourself in environments and around people who let you express candidly. participating in any arts will help you do this and in turn raise your confidence greatly.

ex: -creating something new, -learning the best ways for you to express yourself, -getting rid of limiting people or thoughts

Virgo 2H: your value will come from satisfaction. completing tasks or projects that will benefit you or others will bring you a great deal of fulfillment and therefore raise your confidence. learning boundaries is important for you, though, because although your esteem is dependent on your service to others, if you commit to too much and become burnt out, your confidence will suffer because of it. balancing serving others while also serving yourself will be the most efficient way to raise your confidence level.

ex: -completing acts of service for yourself or for others, -establishing healthy boundaries, -knowing and taking into account your limits

Libra 2H: your value will come from others. forming intimate bonds with special people in your life and relishing in them will give you a much deeper sense of confidence. a lot of people believe "you have to love yourself before you can love others" but the almost opposite is true for you. learning to love and appreciate the close people in your life will give you a better ability to love and appreciate yourself more.

ex: -forming sacred bonds with the people you love, -learning about others, -appreciating the beauty in people and world around you

Scorpio 2H: your value will come from intimacy. developing an affinity for everything and everyone in your life will help you to raise your esteem. not connecting with the world around you can leave you feeling insignificant. establishing your place in the world and connection with it will greatly improve your confidence.

ex: -appreciating nature, -studying and contemplating philosophy, -become more emotionally intimate with humanity

Sagittarius 2H: your value will come from exploration. denying yourself the ability to investigate yourself and the world around you will only diminish your confidence level. you thrive on learning and your esteem will be dependent upon the experiences you acquire in these interactions in the world.

ex: -traveling especially to foreign countries, -learning and appreciating different people and cultures, -trying something new

Capricorn 2H: your value will come from dedication. committing to yourself or to something in your life will raise your confidence. knowing the incredible devotion and work you have presented will give you a great sense of achievement. not devoting yourself will leave you feeling useless and your confidence will suffer for it.

ex: -finding and going after your passions, -going the extra mile for yourself, -completing tasks you don't feel like doing

Aquarius 2H: your value will come from freedom. feeling trapped whether it's financially, physically, or emotionally will negatively impact your confidence severely. learning how to have flexibility in these areas and implementing it in your life will improve your self esteem greatly.

ex: -setting healthy boundaries, -working hard to give yourself the freedom you need, -not putting yourself in confining environments

Pisces 2H: your value will come from romanticism. cascading through life with the viewpoint of the rest of the world will leave you feeling insignificant. you need to learn to enjoy life in your own way and on your own terms, and in turn it will give you a confidence boost. become a rarity by just being undoubtedly yourself.

ex: -romanticizing your day to day life, -not lettings others have control over you, -following your own path

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disruptivevoib · 2 months

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Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

#chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash #voidthoughts #i know the album is interpretive!! but i also think it is crucial that we dont pin any one of them down as villains or anything #that like while hms are all flawed and cruel to one another they ultimately are also victims of themselves its #its the like culprit and victim motif #the “you're doing this to yourself and you shouldn't feel you have to do that”#internal communication with yourself. learning kindness and humility and whatnot is very important!!#thats all

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ishaslife · 9 months

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Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

#astarion analysis #forgotten realms #astarion and tav #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion baldur's gate 3 #astarion baldurs gate #astarion x mc #tav x astarion #astarion romance #bg3 #astarion #astarion baldur's gate

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beautifulpersonpeach · 5 months

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so just to confirm, jikookers genuinely believe that in an extremely homophobic military system and country that just reaffirmed the illegality of any form of homosexual interaction during enlistment (to the point that they can face a prison sentence), two queer individuals in a gay relationship would put themselves, their relationship, and their careers at risk by enlisting in the same camp together through the buddy system in which they will have to be together essentially at all times surrounded by other soldiers, supervisors etc for 18 months? there is no private time or sneaking off in the military so jikookers genuinely think that while already dealing with the stress and difficulty of enlistment within itself, jimin and jungkook would subject themselves to an extra stressor of controlling their emotions and actions with each other at all times for that long? like you all actually think they said “yeah fuck it we’d rather be by each others side while facing the risk of getting caught, sent to prison, and having our careers destroyed instead of being separated for just 18 months out of our whole lives”. like how do u think they’d even remotely survive those 18 months?

***

You know, when you put it that way I think you have a point. It's ludicrous to think two queer men can co-habit in the same unit without climbing all over each other and outing themselves. Jikookers must've been deaf, blind, all thinking faculties out to lunch when Jungkook talked about how Seven is autobiographical (the female subject in the song not being just a technicality). Expecting Jungkook of all people to go days, weeks, and months on end without fucking his main squeeze is kinda nuts ngl. Especially when everybody knows gay men are overly promiscuous, deviant, sex-addicted sons of Lucifer who just happen to look good in perms and eyeliner. One glance at all that cake Jimin got in the back and Jungkook will start keening like blue-balled bonobo before jumping him in broad daylight. Right? Perhaps it's a wonder jikook survived 10 years in the spotlight while being in the most hyper-visible group in a homophobic society, even representing their homophobic country in official capacities.

What good is a relationship if you cannot have sex for any period of time, after all? Can you even call that a relationship?

Also, your point about how there's no private time in the military is a godsend because it just reminded me of a curious phenomenon that happened this year. I noticed it happened maybe two or three times this year when ARMYs and even people tangentially related to ARMYs collectively hallucinated seeing Seokjin and Hoseok outside the military base. In fact, this is what's convinced me beyond all reasonable doubt that BTS's fandom is a cult.

Anyway, I'm rambling.

Jikookers must be dumb, high, or both to think it's a good thing for jikook to possibly mean more to each other and still choose to enlist together under the Buddy program. Clearly it's unthinkable for a couple to weigh the strength they could gain by being together, as more important than the risk of being caught in an explicitly compromising situation. It's silly of jikookers to think companionship can happen in all sorts of ways even while in the military; and flat out ridiculous of them to believe that jikook at the end of the day started out as friends, have been through some of their most life-defining moments together, and are still one of the closest pairings in BTS.

Thank you for taking the time to share such an enlightening opinion with me, Anon. Your ideas were persuasive and yes, you have me convinced. It is impossible for jikook to be jikooking in the military ergo jikook must not exist.

#jikook

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nayatarot777 · 4 months

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Lilith in Scorpio/8th house

this is intuitive astrology. meaning that i’m making these notes based on what i intuitively pick up about this astrological point being merged with these signs. take it with a grain of salt and understand that you might not relate to everything that i get from your placement 🖤

Astrology Masterlist

scorpio/8th house themes are always surrounding the taboo areas of life: death + birth/rebirth, trauma, debt + taxes, other people’s assets that they give to you (like an inheritance, for example), conscious secrets and fears (not secrets and fears like what you find in pisces/12th house - you don’t realise exist. 8th house secrets and fears are those that you consciously know about but don’t talk about), intimacy, sexuality, shared resources, and power and control.

the first thing that i think of when i see this placement is people shaming you for your traumas. the people who literally get victim blamed for the ways that they’ve been abused, shamed, and oppressed.

you could’ve experienced shame towards the way that you grieve too. towards someone’s death or your own trauma. for some reason, people love to shame you out of purging very real and very valid emotions during the grieving process.

your lilith energy is potent in scorpio/8th house. since this sign and house is the area of taboos, people could literally treat you like you’re a taboo yourself. as if you’re a topic of conversation that shouldn’t be touched on.

this placement could make a lot of people fear you as taboos and the unknown are usually feared - therefore avoided.

^ that’s another point. you’ve probably experienced people avoiding you like the plague. simply because your energy seems ‘dangerous’ or scary in some way.

an obsession with the taboos of society - sex, death, murder - anything that you can think of that society would look at you like you’re crazy for freely talking about.

also indicates a lot of obsession with anything occult. occultism could be where you find your personal power. where you channel your rage from all of the times that you were scapegoated, oppressed, and abused. for example: someone who send dark and baneful magic to those who’ve fucked with them.

you guys have the most potent energy of a man-eater if you’re a woman. this isn’t like lilith in the 1st house/aries in which men will see you as their opponent to challenge. you’re literally seen by them as woman who are threats. threats that they can’t fight or dominate because they wouldn’t even know how to oppose you.

^ again, your feminine energy is one big taboo. and taboos are never ventured into. it’s like trying to fight the darkness. or a ghost. something that you know of but don’t understand and don’t want to. men could never.

if you find yourself suppressing this energy, then you’ll find yourself meeting people and falling victim to people (especially men) who are the worst human beings that you could imagine. murderous-type people. the people who could cause you serious harm. and these are usually men who you end up merging with heavily in relationships (as this is the sign/house of intimacy).

you could face a double dose of shame from yourself for the secrets that you know you carry. especially if they’re sexual secrets.

your sexuality could be very taboo too. i said this in the lilith in taurus/2nd house observations - lilith in scorpio/8th house is a placement that could indicate prostitution. actually having sex with clients in exchange for money, and not just using sex appeal or the image of sex to make money.

^ but random, but if you have lilith in gemini in the 8th house, or your lilith placement just has aspects to 3rd house planets/mercury, you could lead a double life that involves you selling sexual content online. and nobody knows about this.

this placement is also a placement that makes me think of people who marry rich people for the sake of gaining that inheritance money after their spouse dies. you know the young women who marry old men who are knocking at death’s door? yeah 😂

you find a lot of shame from others for your sexuality but a lot of power too. could be into power dynamics in your relationships/deep sexual relationships - like BDSM dynamics.

you have the power to manipulate people into giving you their money/possessions and assets through your sexuality. doesn’t even have to be through sex itself because your sexual energy is POTENT. you hold power over other people’s shit.

you could fear showing femininity in a way. just because you know that - considering the world we live in - femininity is not viewed as something powerful by men. and lilith in scorpio/8th house is all about holding onto power. therefore, you may keep your feminine side a secret to yourself.

could’ve experienced the most shame in long term relationships, after marriage, etc. after you gain a certain level of intimacy with someone, that person turns around and shames you.

and that’s why lilith here is a very prominent placement for experiencing extremely heavy-hitting betrayals. therefore gaining a huge fear of intimacy and being betrayed again.

your sexuality could be very dark. adding onto the sexual secrets, you could have secret kinks and fetishes that you feel like the average person would shame you and demonise you heavily for.

#lilith #scorpio #lilith in scorpio #lilith in the 8th house #astro placements #astrology placements #astro tumblr #astro observations #astro posts #astro notes #astrology

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dragons1re · 24 days

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Trigun is a very autism media to me. The twins themselves are full of amazing metaphors for autism!!

The plants wings are a physical metaphor for autism! To me Rem’s and other humans fear of seeing Vash’s overtly autistic traits is shown in their reactions to his wings. We see Knives isn’t afraid of showing off his plant powers ever. The twins have a very cool dichotomy about masking-Vash was favored because he masked, while Knives never cared to.

When Vash and Knives see Tesla Rem goes to comfort Vash first. This seems to be slightly on favoritism, but also because she’s shocked that Vash is having a large emotional reaction. I think the fandom sees Vash as hyper-emotinal and Knives as hypo-emotional, but to me it’s switched.

Knives does not hide his emotions. And absolutely does not hide his outbursts! He has meltdowns all the time and is not ashamed of his autistic traits(Edit* this comment is in reference to Knives using his plant powers with no restraint, compared to Vash who almost never used his powers. I agree that Knives isn’t exactly a bastion of positivity about his autism, and hates his lack of control, that being said he isn’t ashamed of the traits themselves, just his lack of control over himself). He doesn’t care about being unsettling or being accepted by humans/neurotypical society. (Even more interesting to consider that all of the Gung-Ho Guns are disabled/neurodiverse in some way). Knives allows his emotions to control him, where Vash is guided by his obligations. He does what he wants, based on his wants. And what he wants is to be with the only other autistic person he knows-his brother. He also desperately wants his brother to be free from his internalized ableism and the pain of masking.

Vash on the otherhand spends all his time masking and denying his autistic traits so he can fit in with “normal“ humans. He also again, in contrast to Knives, acts based on how his mother told him to behave. He hates acting out/standing out. He still operates on Rem’s instructions to be “normal“ and unnoticeable. He does occasionally show strong emotions but they’re not his positive emotions. To be these are less examples of Vash being over emotional, but instead are examples of outbursts. The overflow of negative emotions reminds me of my meltdowns! As well most of the emotions we do see Vash show are also parts of his masking. They are deeply constructed displays of emotion. All set to Vash‘s derived sense of what’s normal. It’s what he thinks positive emotions look like. His mask is baked into everything he does. And only one person sees through it-Wolfwood!!

Wolfwood is also set apart by the narrative. He has been modified. In my view this is the story portraying that Wolfwood is also neurodivergent in some way. He is capable of seeing through Vash‘s mask, and from Vash‘s reaction is the first one to call him out on it. He also goes from being afraid of Vash‘s autistic traits-his wings-to supporting him. His last words are him encouraging Vash to express his emotions genuinely(to not worry about his “unsettling“ autism smile).

Trigun as a media deals to deeply with disability and autism(if someone remind me I’ll make another little essay thing about Meryl and Milly‘s autism). I hope this is coherent!!

Anyways! Happy Autism Month!!

#trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #millions knives #vash autism #autism #autism acceptence month #happy April!!!#trigun maximum #trigun stampede #trigun 98 #sire’sramblings #shout out to bobosbillionsknives #for influencing a lot of my headcannons and interpretations of Knives #millions knives autism

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zeldasnotes · 1 year

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LILITH NOTES PART. 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

These are my personal observations and not facts!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more posts about Lilith and other asteroids.

•Barack Obama got Lilith conjunct Mercury 0° orb and he is so incredibly funny and videos of his speeches always go viral and leaves people in shock (in a positive way). The way he introduced himself as ”Michelles husband”. I think Lilith conjunct Mercury is a sign of high intelligence and people reacting strongly to what you say.

•People with Lilith in hard aspect to Sun can get into a lot of conflicts in their lifes because they feel a strong need to express their honest feelings. Its a part of who they are and they wont back down.

•Lilith trine/sextile Mars makes someone very strategic.

•People with conjunctions/squares to Lilith might become mean at one point in their life because people always saw them as bad anyways so why not? People are gonna hate anyways you might aswell give them a reason.

•Most Lilith dominants I know are super independent, and from a young age. Like started working early in their life, doing stuff on their own, having their own company etc.

•Lilith dominant women experience a lot of complicated love/hate situations with men because men find them intriguing but at the same time finds it hard to genuinely ”like” the Lilith woman since he feels threathened by her. Which leads to being mean to her while being obsessed with her.

•Biggie Smalls having Lilith in the 8th house and being not only accused of his best friends death but also being killed himself.😔

•Lilith just like Pluto can turn out differently in a chart based on how you use that power and what other aspects you have in your chart. Just like Pluto you NEED to take control where your Lilith is OR you will be controlled. With Lilith in hard aspect to Sun or Ascendant you need to show dominance bc people will want to put you down otherwise. With Moon conjunct Lilith you might need to be a b*tch towards other women or they will victimize YOU. Moon conjunct Lilith is common in peoples chart who gets hated on by other women but its also common in people like Beyonce, she got Moon conjunct Lilith and women worship her because she got that dominant powerwoman persona.

•Lilith Square/Opposite/Conjunct Moon can also show that you subconsciously got a bad view on women but as you grew up it changes when you learn how its actually society pitting us against eachother. Look at how Beyonce used to behave towards other women 20 years ago when she was in Destinys Child and made the song ”n*sty girl”. Well she was young but anyways she wasnt always a powerwoman. (all women are powerwomen in my eyes btw but you get what I mean)

•Rachel McAdams have played sooo many bitchy popular girl roles and in the movie Passion she plays a psychopath. She got Lilith conjunct Midheaven Square Ascendant so it makes sense that she got a raw look that works perfectly for roles like that.

•Angelina Jolie got Lilith in the 8th house Square Sun and I cant help but laugh because she doesnt even care when people call her creepy and scary. Like she be unbothered as hell💀

•Sad Observation: If a guys Lilith is conjunct your Moon he might not show as much interest in you when he is single but be hell bent on sleeping with you when he is in a relationship. He might like the idea of you being his side piece. But in a lot of cases if he is not a disgusting guy like the ones i just describe it can be the opposite, that he is the one who finally sees you for who you really are and loves you and understands the pain you go through like with pluto/moon.

•Ive never met a Lilith dominant person, no matter age that were not super intelligent.

•Also with Moon harshly aspecting Lilith there is a sense of having to fight hard for everything they got. Leading to them always being emotionally ready for a battle and having to suppress their emotions. Just like with Moon/Pluto.

•If you are someone whos usually not intense, not into sex outside of a relationship etc that will change when you meet someone whos planets aspects your Lilith. Especially if its their Venus/Moon. Read more about Lilith in synastry on @corvoideas post HERE

•I was friends with two girls who had Moon conjunct Lilith in Libra. Their moms borrowed their clothes, got involved in their petty teendrama, were obsessive and rude towards their friends. Very weird relationship to their moms. Their moms also had them very young which explains some of the competition.

•If you have Lilith in the 2nd house be careful with people who will try to use you for your money you give off the impression of being financially stable even if you are not. I have friends with this aspect and they all attract men with huge debts. One of them were with a man who had half a million in debt and no job. He wanted my friend to take care of him. People want to take from you and could feel a right to do so.

•When you have Lilith in the 2nd house people view you as someone who got too much. Too much beauty, too much money, too much fame. People are obsessed with what you have so they get close to you to either take it or ruin it for you. Be picky because this is a placement that attracts crazy amounts of envy.

•I know so many men with Lilith in the 10th house who have a reputation for being a douchebag/promiscuous etc. Might also be falsely accused of s*xual assault. I know of a guy with this aspect who is known in our town for sleeping with over 100 guys.

•I know of another guy who got Lilith conjunct his Sun and he got accused of being a ”snitch” and outcasted by the men in his neighbourhood because of this. Lilith dominants really gets to see the worst side of society.

•I know Ive said it before but damn Lilith in the 12th house people are sooo good at hiding their Lilith side. They can come across as so unknowing and ”Eve” like.

•Lilith conjunct/square Sun or Ascendant might be that kid in the neighbourhood that parents dont want their children to play with.

•If you are a s*xworker and you meet a client whos Lilith conjuncts your Venus/Moon be ready to make money 🤑💰

SIDENOTE: Sometimes when I post about how men respond to Lilith dominant women I get comments like ”Not everything is about men,women can exist without male validation you know” . Absolutely! not everything is about male validation thats true but men being uncomfortable in your presence WILL affect your life when you are young w no education because in a lot of places men got the power. If a you are someone who intimidates men it WILL affect you because men like that will make damn sure to put you in your place. Lilith is not only about sexiness and confidence but also about the pain of being a woman. The pain of being considered ”the 2nd gender”. Being punished for being sexual, having a bad reputation because you offended the wrong MAN. Remember that the whole thing with Lilith was that she refused to lay under Adam. So yes Lilith got a lot to do with men. Its also easy for us living in the westworld saying stuff like ”Not everything is about men”. We dont need men like that but how about women in less developed countries? Women who are seen as disgusting for being divorced, women who have to marry someone who r*ped them bc nobody else will marry now that they are not a virgin anymore, divorced women who arent allowed to shake hands with ppl because people think it brings bad luck to touch a divorced woman, women who are in jail for leaving a man. Imagine telling those women to stop thinking that everything is about men.😔

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #lilith aspects #lilith #ascendant #asteroids #lilith square ascendant #lilith conjunct sun

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blondwhowrites · 2 months

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A/N: This is for all my autistic homies. I fucking love you guys 😘. Btw this is based on how autism shows itself in girls/women. Remember for all my autistic girlies, never ever feel sorry for being yourself ❤️

"Mattheo, I'm autistic."

Mattheo looked at you, mouth agape. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you quizzically, obviously confused. "What's that?" he questioned, his head tilting slightly to the side.

You stared at him, unblinking. "You don't know what autism is?" You asked, slowly processing his lack of information. Was wizard society really that far behind? Damn. You sighed, chewing on your lower lip. How was one supposed to explain autism to someone who has probably no idea what disabilities even are?

"Well, Matty, to sum it up, I don't work like other people do," you tried to explain while sitting down next to him. "My mind works differently than yours and other people's."

He watched you curiously, taking in your words and trying to make sense of them in his mind. "Is that supposed to scare me away because, darling, it isn't working? You're not getting rid of me."

You laughed, shaking your head. "I mean, it might scare some people away, but no, that's not why I'm telling you this," you replied, your heart swelling with happiness at seeing his positive reaction. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that being in a relationship with me will be different from other relationships you have been in before."

Mattheo nodded, his foot repeatedly tapping the ground. "Well, I'm willing to learn. So lay it all on me, baby," he chuckled, his lips curling up in a smile as he looked at you. He watched as you wrung your hands together, and he reached out, grabbing one of your hands and squeezing it. "Darling, I'm being serious when I say I want to learn."

Your shoulders went slack, and you let out a deep sigh. The nerves you felt slowly washed away with the assurance of his words. "Well," you began.

"I have a hard time with social cues and reading people. If someone is mad at me or annoyed, I won't be able to tell unless they specifically tell me that. While some people might be able to take hints, I can't really recognize them. I need you to be straightforward with me about your feelings." Your eyes darted to his, making sure he was listening before you continued.

"I can't handle loud and crowded places that well. They make me overwhelmed and overstimulated, and that can lead me to have a meltdown. Which is when my mind practically shuts down, or at least it feels like it, and I kind of regress during those. I can't speak or do anything, and I tend to hurt myself during those, like hitting myself. I also sometimes hurt others when they try to help me through my meltdowns. I don't mean to; I just can't really control what I do in those moments. Sometimes even the slightest of things can cause me to melt down or panic. If a change of plans happens, I can sometimes have extreme reactions to it that can derail my entire day. I'm not very good with change. I stim a lot, and sometimes it can look weird. Like, whenever I'm excited, you know how I jump up and down and flail my hands? That's me stimming. Repetitive motions, stuff like that. I also have a weird relationship with touch and intimacy. It depends on the person; for example, I feel comfortable touching you, but with Blaise, I don't. It changes a lot."

Mattheo listened intently to your words, nodding along and trying to make a mental checklist. All of this was important to you, and that meant it was important to him too. He didn't care how long this conversation would take, he was willing to hear everything you had about this.

"I go non-verbal sometimes, and I can't speak or talk for hours up to days. I literally can't talk, even if I want to. That usually happens after meltdowns or when I'm feeling really intense emotions. I have sensory issues and can't wear some clothes because of how they feel on my body. My relationship with food is basically non-existent. I can't eat some things because of how it feels, and sometimes I go selective eating, and it's really hard to eat anything else besides my safe foods. I also just sometimes forget to eat because I don't really process that I feel hungry unless I'm starving. I mask my autism a lot, hence why people sometimes think I'm lying when I tell them I'm autistic. I tend to copy other people unconsciously. That's why you see me and Pansy having a lot of the same little habits. "

You finished, your voice faltering as you looked at him nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. "There's a lot of other things, but that's like a pretty surface-level breakdown of it." You added, looking away from him and at the ground. "Oh, and also, if you see me not looking at you during conversations, it's not because I'm not listening; it's because I'm just not good with eye contact."

It was a lot of new information for Mattheo. He'd never considered the fact that people could, how did you say it, work differently? He'd have to ask you more about it during a later conversation. "I can work with that," he shrugged.

Your lips curled up into a smile, and your eyes slowly lit up. "Really?" you asked, genuinely worried that he was just playing with you.

"Well, I mean, obviously, I have a lot to learn still, and I'm probably going to make a lot of mistakes."

"Everyone makes mistakes," you interrupted him.

He shushed you, playfully pressing his finger to your lips to stop you from talking. "What I'm trying to say is that your being autistic changes nothing to me. It's who you are, and I love who you are. I promise you, I'm going to try my hardest."

You felt tears prick your eyes, and you nodded. "You have no idea how much that means to me, Matty," you sniffled, and you squeezed his hand.

"Like I said before, darling, you're not ever getting rid of me."

#harry potter #slytherin boys #reader insert #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle x reader #autism #autism hc #autism awareness #mattheo riddle blurb 🐍

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