before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
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crazy how people will say "there's a trend of bi women dating misogynistic/homophobic men who are really weird about their queerness" and follow it up with "this is bi women's fault and I should make fun of their sexual practices" instead of "bi women need more support and outreach aimed at them about recognizing domestic abuse."
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a BIG part of the lore of Dungeon Meshi is how ageism is bad. About how the long lived races treat the young lived races like children and thus infantilize them and do not show them the respect and understanding they deserve simply because of their looks or short life spans.
Whether its because to them they look like children in their eyes (like half foots and gnomes) or because the adult ages of the younger lived races are still in the child ages for the longer lived ones and so they get treated/viewed as children (we see otta receive comments about getting with minors when in reality she dated adult half foot women. so we already see this view towards things like this are a thing in the lore)
We see this with chilchuck, senshi, and marcille where the two later view chilchuck as a child and treat him like one even though he is a full grown man who drinks (and is supposed to have grey hairs) all because he looks young and in the newest episode its revealed he is 29 which is still young children to the two of them.
We see how perspectives that characters are children because of their age being a childs age for a different race as opposed to their race or because they look like children is a completely infantilizing and disrespectful behavior that causes so many problems in the long run.
a theme that is completely flying over the average tumblr users head.
ive seen people get furious at other people because they sexualize chilchuck and even marcille
“oh they look like kids so dont do that you freak”
you absolute fool you missed a major theme of the fucking story. But because they look young suddenly they are children? have you paid no attention to the story? did you just ignore how the ageisim and weird mindset about ages like that causes so many issues that could easily have been avoided.
and as for the age one i see people getting furious at others for being into and sexualizing izutsumi even though she is a year past adult in tall man years, but because she isnt in the adult age range in real life (wild your applying real life society standards to a fictional medieval fantasy world). even though even in lore she would be well an adult able to get married and everything
tumblr really does have the media literacy of a toddler.
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Tim Drake is responsible for the majority of Gotham's streams of the song skater boy by Avril Lavigne. This is because he keeps captivating people with his autistic goblin rizz. They play this song while daydreaming about wooing him by bringing the bedraggled rat boy at the skate park a zesti like they're y/n herself. Sometimes they don't even realise that That's Tim Drake Wayne. He's a cute, skrungly Thing™ that you could either fix or make worse depending on your romantic daydreams.
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so, Astarion and Finch. which one of them watches the other fight and thinks "that's so hot"?
finch finds astarion's skill and deftness with a blade VERY sexy admirable but i think the person who has that immediate "HOT" moment is astarion himself.
there is probably something immediately attractive to astarion "technically not a murderhobo but only because he dresses nice" ancunin about seeing a man who (for the most part) tries to favor persuasion decide that a situation is bad enough to call for killing someone
and swiftly, effectively, and mercilessly
following through with that decision.
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The fact that The S.I.N.N.E.D. System is not only the reverse of The D.E.N.N.I.S. System by name, but in its actual goal:
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System ends with Separate Entirely and begins with the avoidance of going on a date. It’s purely about sex.
The S.I.N.N.E.D. System ends with Do You Want a Tissue? Dennis’ tried and true method to secure a second date, and:
it works for Dee but she sabotages herself—because she has no interest in pursuing a man romantically;
it works for Mac but he bows out—because he already has a man he’s pursuing romantically;
The S.I.N.N.E.D. System is about romance. Dating, consistently, something Dennis makes very clear he doesn't do...
Except:
"This is a man we're talking about,
it's always about him."
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