you relate to monstrous characters because you have toxic shame and live in a society that has convinced you that innocent parts of yourself are grotesque. I relate to monstrous characters because I am evil. we are not the same.

you guys remember jon archivist? that wild son of a gun sure loved statements.

every single bisexual I have ever heard talk about this topic: bisexuality is a single, whole, queer identity, it is not half gay and half straight. my attraction to people of other genders is exactly as much an expression of my bisexuality as my attraction to people of my own gender. that is what I mean when I say my "straight" attraction is still queer, it is part of what makes me bi. I face different kinds of biphobia based on the type of relationship I'm in, and it feels disingenuous to say that that my relationships with people of other genders aren't queer as the society I'm in has made it abundantly clear that none of my relationships get to be viewed as normative.

people somehow to this day: ugh I hate it when bi women say they're "gay" for their male partners, that's not how it works! they're trying too hard to be interesting, it's all performative, I bet they wouldn't even actually date a woman, they're just trying to act oppressed. name a single time when bi women have ever been treated badly as a result of being in relationships with men.

alice does not know she's into gwen, she just hasn't connected the dots with the kind of cuteness aggression gwen inspires in her. gwen is desperately, acutely aware that she's into alice, and it makes her want to burst into blood and guts whenever alice says a real aliceism and she still can't stop thinking about kissing her stupid face.

oh and btw, I say again: Where In The World Is Colin Becher? did the computers eat him? did lena finally conduct a successful assassination of an OIAR IT guy? did he die of caffeine withdrawal? is he merely still on mental health leave? has he actually been present in every scene but just holding his breath and never speaking so we don't hear him? my beautiful skrunkly.

okay for realsies, until I am given reason to think otherwise, my theory going forward is that celia is acting as a guardian to a child. from magp 11, we have her waking up outside of her house and running back while muttering about a "jack" and saying she's on her way, and this episode implies she has responsibilities at home that she would need someone else to cover, are not related a plant or a pet, and which she's reticent to tell sam about in the context of a first date. also in her first appearance she referred to herself as having been in desperate need of a job, something which could be easily explained if she had a dependent to support.

[experiencing textbook symptoms of a common and well-researched mental illness that I know I have] I am crazy I am insane no one has ever been as unhinged as me I'm fucked up in some brand new unheard of way that no other person could ever understand. [continues about my day as usual but while feeling kinda weird]

right, so: mr bonzo is a contractor for the OIAR, that was a commissioned massacre. his official title, according to magp 11, is an "External" with a capital-E, and gwen's job title is "Externals Liaison." in magp 02, gwen says she overheard lena talking about "expanding external operations" and assumes this meant redundancies, but I am not inclined to agree. I think the OIAR needs cases of genuine supernatural experiences to file and, if they've been coming in a bit slowly, will generate them itself, and this is a common enough occurrence that by magp 11 lena thinks gwen should have already worked it out on her own. magp 02 takes place on january 18, and the case from magp 06 is from february 9, so needles seems like a good bet for another commissioned horror. I'm inclined to think ink5oul is as well, though their two cases are from a bit in the past; they were messing around in that graveyard in january 2020 and I'd say they probably tattooed daria in mid 2022. magp 05 with tom the horror blogger might be another engineered one? it's from 2023 and he's put onto voyeur in the first place by a mysterious commenter that he can't find afterwards.

when will my beloved spooky grandpa tts voice augustus return from the war

I will say that I am glad I curate my online space well. all you guys are fine and normal then I go two blogs outside my bubble and see a 500 note post complaining about those duplicitous bisexual sluts with a dozen "glad someone finally said it x" comments.

a final vague before I banish the rest of my thoughts to the drafts for public release day. I barely paid attention to most violence or body horror warnings on archives, I barely pay attention to those warnings on most horror podcasts, they don't really get to me, especially if they're just described as opposed to enacted on-audio. I Am Now Paying Attention To Those Warnings On Protocol.

connections giving me some exciting crossover ideas

maybe if you are not bi. you do not get to tell bi people that they are wrong about the way they describe their experiences with their orientation. you can just not do that.

fighting for my life in my vic lit class to try and get a discussion going on the addiction lens to jekyll and hyde that doesn't broadcast my whole medical history to the class. "yeah so true [classmate], popular perceptions of the character are incorrect, hyde isn't like an invasive evil parasite, he's more just jekyll with the inhibitions taken off. I wouldn't say hyde's mind works exactly the same way as jekyll's and I think putting it all down to jekyll just wanting to freak it and lacking self-control is a touch uncharitable, to me it reads more as analogous to compulsive use of a mood altering substance. why do I think that? well uh you see the thing is um--"

evil chappell roan. I heard you like magic, that's cringe and a turn off.

need a word for the specific genre of blogger whose general posts and thoughts on social issues I totally agree with and want to see more of but whose artistic tastes are so counter to my own that I break out into hives if I try following them for more than two days