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#and they definitely are but i also lost all my length
titsthedamnseason · 8 months
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my roommate cut my hair for me tonight and at first i was (secretly) sad because it is wayyyyy too short but then i realized. i literally just got the 1989 chop. like this was all meant to happen this way
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mattodore · 1 year
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#making my two favorite ocs like oh i’m gonna give you both sooo many character flaws you’ll be helplessly drawn to each other bc of it#river dipping#theodore doe#echthroi#cw drugs mention#questionnaire lb#hello all........ i come bearing good news: theo's doc is already at 9.2k words <3#not so great news: i actually still have 29 questions left so.......... um. i'm still not done...#😂🔫💥#i'll definitely be making some cuts for length once i'm done answering all of the questions#like i simply can't have this go over 11k at any point... bc that would be....... just too much. like just way too much.#editing is gonna be rough when i get to it like i can just tell but whatever kill your darlings etc. etc.#also :) i've been so good at not opening tumblr or letting anything else distract me which is how theo's doc is already this long#in such a short amount of time like!!! i'm really proud of myself actually!!#i'm trying to finish it quickly bc i miss being on here but dfjkhh when i took that three hour break the other day to catch up i lost all#of my motivation to write and ended up stopping for the day bc i felt like everything i was writing was awful and ooc 😭#so i'm holding off....... i do see my activity feed and i'll get to it i promise i'm not ignoring anyone on purpose!!#or. well i guess i kind of am but jsdkchddkj i'm just trying to get this done first!!#honestly i'm moving pretty fast tho so i feel like i'll have this done soon :) theo favoritism etc. etc.#okay... i need to go now........ i've rambled here for much too long#just felt compelled to drop another little update since my blog is inactive otherwise#logging out...... wish me luck friends and lovers
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bunny584 · 3 months
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OBSESSED: ITADORI
A/N: Quarterback Itadori with #20 on his jersey realizes he has a little (big) problem with a certain cheerleader turned Chem tutor (who also happens to be just a little bit older 🤭). Anon this one is for you! I hope you enjoy 💋
S/N: I’ve never giggled so much writing a piece. This one was so funny to me.
C/W: Aged up characters (19+), college AU, Mature, 18+
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“ITADORI!”
Oh for fucks sake.
Yuji can’t drag away from the pyramid of cheerleaders right of center field.
“Coach?”
“IF YOU WANT TO WEAR A SKIRT AND BACKFLIP FOR THE BOYS THEN JUST SAY THAT?!”
His teammates erupt in a chorus of laughter. Coach Yaga is an ass.
Fact.
But he is also living, breathing, comedic relief.
“I would coach, but they aren’t my type!”
Yuji yells back, eyes still lasered to your back. He knows it’ll sear Yaga’s skin right off the bone.
Whatever.
What’s a few more seconds, right?
You are just so…hot.
In a mind-bending kinda way. An optical illusion. Or desert mirage.
A fresh water oasis in a destitute wasteland. Always just a few more steps away. No matter how long he’s been crawling on his knees.
His knees.
He’d kill to be on his knees for you. Diving head first into—
“SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET BACK ON THE FIELD. PINK TOP IDIOT!!”
“Yes sir!” Times up.
“Dude, she’s a smoke show.”
The team’s starting running back (#14) rests his arm on Yuji’s shoulder. Just as four bodies fling you so far against gravity it is questionable whether you’ll come down.
“She’s perfect.”
“And a junior.” #14 reminds him, tugging his helmet back over his head.
“So?”
“Okay, freshmeat. Someone’s got mommy issues.”
Yuji bursts into full belly laughter. Stealing one last glance at you before pulling his helmet on.
His teammates never fail to remind him that he’s the only freshman in Tokyo University history to make starting lineup.
Not to mention quarterback.
“#14, #20 IF YOU DONT STOP RUBBING DICKS ILL WEAR BOTH OF YOUR ASSES TO THE BONE THIS AFTERNOON.”
Yuji promptly takes position at center field. He knows better than to push his luck. Two-a-days are already brutal enough, he has no intention of making his life harder than it is.
But you do.
You are setting flames to the hoops Yuji has to jump through to get through study hall and afternoon practice.
Why else would you wear those yoga pants?
They’re a second skin, for Christ’s sake.
Might as well be body paint. Outlining every tantalizing, serpentine curve. Pretty, full hips. Plump, tight ass. The mouthwatering, puffy rose between your legs just begging to be watered. By his tongue.
Yuji’s palm digs into his crotch. Trying to force his pulsating length from tenting up into the table. Cursing himself for changing out of his compression shorts.
“Hello? Yuji?”
Your dulcet voice echoes between his ears and curls around his dick. Jerking him back down to earth.
“Y-yeah? Hi.”
Yuji forces an acknowledgement through the sharp edges of his voice box. Sitting fully erect in his seat. Scrambling to find the pencil that was supposed to be mirroring your work on the whiteboard.
Because not only are you a perfect 10 on and off the field; you are a prodigy when it comes to chemistry.
And currently in the middle of trying to diffuse some of your excess knowledge into his very deficient head.
You toss your head back. Your laughter is definitely why tales of fishermen being lost at sea exists.
Light.
Breathy.
Soprano crescendo that’s rutting against the few folds in his brain.
“Why are you so distracted today, Yu?”
“Distracted?” His voice cracks.
“Ha—no, I’m not distracted. Sorry, walk me through it again.”
But before Yuji can retreat back into his daydream, you catch him in the Venus fly trap of your gaze. Tilting your head slightly.
Yuji swallows thickly. Frozen in place. Hand pushing down on his cock with all his might. As if you could see through the table.
Did you know he was staring at your ass? Can you tell how hard he is? Is there drool on his face? Shit, there must—
“Woah, the way the sun is catching your eyes right now, Yu.”
You take a half step to the side, allowing the full beam of light to caress Yuji’s already hot face.
A shaky hand swipes along the back of his neck.
“H-huh?”
“Your eyes are so pretty. Warm. Like hot chocolate with cinnamon.”
Your full lips curl into a soft smile. And Yuji bites down a pitiful whine.
“I—thanks.” You don’t hear him. Because he whispers through a wired shut jaw.
Yuji lets his erection tent up, grazing the table. He fists his base through his athletic pants. Ears fiery hot with embarrassment. His hand glides up and down his clothed cock without his permission.
Did you know?
That you snapped his self-control in half?
And shoved him into the darkest recesses of his mind?
Where his most depraved thoughts (and the King of Curses) lives?
Because all Yuji can see is the way your ass ripples and bounces while you scribble hieroglyphics on the whiteboard.
His mind’s eye is currently picturing him fucking you dumber than he is.
Fist full of hair in one hand. Both of your wrists behind your back in another. Mesmerized by the way your plump, fleshy mounds slam against his hips.
Maybe he’ll fuck you in front of a mirror?
So he can make you repeat how pretty you think his eyes are while he brands the shape of his cock into you.
Then he’ll tell you how pretty you are. Creaming all around his length. Drool raining down from your lips in sync with his thrusts.
Maybe he’ll stick a dildo on the mirror so he can watch your mouth get stuffed while he violates your insides?
You’ll look so pretty. When he fills you up with something warm. A little thicker than ‘hot chocolate with cinnamon.’
“Yu? Are you okay?” Genuine concern knocks his lust-drunk thoughts loose.
Yuji blinks himself back to this dimension. Chest heaving. Cramps blooming from his fingertips to his biceps from grasping his sex so hard. He doesn’t need a mirror to know he’s stained blood red. From chin to hairline.
“I-uh. Sick. I’m—I feel sick. Be right back.” He takes off to the male locker room at inhuman speed.
Yuji nearly doubles over the porcelain sink, glaring at his blown out pupils. Olive skin flushed like he just finished a marathon.
He can’t believe he was just groping himself like that in public. In plain sight.
All because you complimented his eyes?!
Who the hell is he?
“Sukuna, give it a rest.”
Yuji hisses poison at his curse. Because he surely wasnt responsible for those lewd actions.
“Oh, I’ll rest you PERMANENTLY you asinine little b—“
“I’m serious. Quit it.”
Yuji darts around the empty locker room. Accidentally raising his voice.
“Quit what, brat?”
“Quit…making me think..things like that.”
Sukuna’s bellowing laughter sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Deafening between Yuji’s ears.
“That’s all you kid. I’m only 10 fingers in. Don’t have that power…yet.”
Sukuna retreats to Yuji’s subconscious. Leaving him stunned. Disbelief crashing into him like tornado winds.
Yuji has never been a pervert.
Sure, he’s had crushes. But he knows how to control his impulses.
He might be dumb like one, but he’s not an actual dog…right?
Wrong.
Yuji dives into an empty stall while his teammates file in. Study hall is complete and afternoon warm-ups are starting soon.
And his neglected, weeping sex is clamoring for attention.
Missing it’s muse — your soft, curvy frame and the ways he wants to fill you.
One hand clamps over his mouth. While the other one tugs his pants down. Thick, heavy length springing free. Sticky and slick with his precum.
His head meets the cool wall. Hips thrusting against his fist. Broken whimpers pushing through the web spaces of his fingers that are digging into his cheek. Choking himself quiet so no one hears his pathetic hormone driven state.
“Mnnhgh f—fuck.” Muffled curses slip past his hand.
His cock is red and engorged. Angry from his abuse. But his hips can’t stop rutting into his hand. Picturing abusing your pretty, swollen cunt.
A hot tear rolls along his cheek, between his fingers. Salty on his tongue.
Curtains start to shade his vision and Yuji’s hands move to cup his bulbous tip. His muscular core tenses and strings of warm, thick seed fills his hands.
The world slowly starts to piece together. His heart rattling in its cage comes to a normal pace. Choppy, incomplete breaths gradually replaced with deep, relaxed ones.
Shit.
He’s in trouble.
Because he needs to pass chemistry to play football. And he needs you to pass.
But he can’t ever look you in the eye again after this display.
After one measly compliment.
How will he act if you bend over in front of him?
Or lean over a little too far?
God forbid you touch his arms or brush against him.?
Then a lightbulb goes off.
Yuji has the perfect solution.
He scrambles to clean up. Putting on his street clothes. Ignoring the quizzical looks from his teammates. He’s going to fix his little problem.
“Coach Yaga?” Yuji is met with an open office door and his coach’s nostrils flaring. Vein along his temple pulsing.
He draws in a steadying breath.
“I can’t play football anymore coach. I quit.”
“….YOU WHAT?!?!”
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golden-cherry · 7 months
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deal - cl16 (18/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: Canned soup always works wonders.
Warnings: cliffhanger (whoopsie), angst (duh), Lando is a cutie, swear words
Word Count: 3.6k
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A/N: not 10k words, but I did my absolute best. thanks for always having my back. I love you.
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 "Fuck!" You cross your arms in front of your face and exhale deeply. "FUCK!"
How hard can it be to find an apartment in the south of France? An apartment that has a shower, a bed, and a stove top? A window would be ideal, too, but you have to cut back somewhere, after all. But even a single room in a shared apartment costs almost 2,000€ - how much do you have to pay for an apartment where your privacy is not disturbed?
Although that didn't bother you much in this apartment either. After all, you even shared the only bed with Charles. Voluntarily. The longer you think about it, the worse your headache gets.
After slamming the door in his face yesterday and then wallowing in your misery for hours, you decided to tackle the apartment hunt this morning. You don't want to spend a second longer than necessary in these four walls, which is why you briefly considered asking Kika if you could move in with her and Pierre at short notice and only for a short period of time.
But then you would also have to explain what happened. And since both of them are Charles' friends first and foremost, you don't want to get in the way, even though he's been acting like a huge asshole.
Meanwhile, you're neither sad nor angry - you're just disappointed.
Of him, because he's gone to so much lengths in the last few days to make you feel at home in his company and presence. He showed you the place that is most important to him, told you about his father and showed you his vulnerable side. He has indirectly supported you financially by getting Joris to pay you back and waiving the accruing rent. By God, he even took you to dinner with his friends so you could meet them because he thought "you'd fit in quite well."
And then he ditches you, showing his coldest, rudest, nastiest side by using what your last relationship failed at against you.
But you are even more disappointed in yourself. There has been absolutely no reason why you should trust Charles so much after such a short time. You told him about Raphael, that he left you because you wouldn't sleep with him, and that he cheated on you. You took his compliments without even a thought as to whether he meant them. You had even had a fucking - hot - sex dream with him. 
You trusted him blindly. And that's getting back at you now.
Lounging lazily on the couch and looking at apartments that are definitely beyond your budget isn't an approach to making you feel better either, so you decide to pack your suitcase already.
If you can't find a place to stay in a hurry, you'd move to a hotel first. Or a hostel. You wouldn't have any privacy there, but at least they are so cheap that you could stay there longer and thus have more time to look for something reasonable.
And anything is better than staying here.
You open the suitcase you've kept in the closet for months, spread it out on the bed, and start putting your clothes in it. Sweaters, jeans, gym clothes, underwear - the stuff you don't want to leave home without. When it's filled and locked, you put it next to the door of your room. But only to realize that your whole life doesn't fit into one suitcase.
You put your hands on your hips. 
You still have a few days before Charles returns. Theoretically, you would still have enough time to get another suitcase, because you haven't packed your shoes or bathroom utensils yet. And you can only fit a few things into your gym bag.
A ping sounds from the living room, and as you poke your head into the room, you see your cell phone light up on the coffee table. You pick it up to read the message.
Lando: Hi. I wanted to check in and see if you're feeling a little better today. Been worried about you all night.
You're chewing on the inside of your cheek.
Yesterday at noon you sent a message to Lando saying that you were feeling unwell and so unfortunately you couldn't go out with him. Aside from the fact that your eyes were swollen from crying and no ice cube in the world could have helped you with that, it didn't feel right to have dinner with him.
Charles had thrown it at you that Lando only wanted to go out with you to get you into bed. How much truth there was to that, you don't know. After all, Charles said some things that hurt you. But whether you can take them at face value is another matter.
Charles has known the Brit for much longer and, above all, better than you. And the way he has courted and flirted with you since you first met, there may be some truth in Charles' words.
But even if there were, Charles has no right to judge. To judge how you handle the matter, whether you like going out with Lando or not. And if you were to go out with him, it could be on a purely friendly basis. Maybe you would have dated and immediately realized that you would be better off as friends. 
But you can't find that out now without worry. Now that Charles has hurt you so much and pushed you away. His words are burned into your mind, which is why you answer Lando carefully.
You: I'm feeling better already, thank you. I'm sorry I had to cancel our dinner.
His reply comes immediately.
Lando: You don't need to apologize. I'm just relieved that you're feeling better. Have you eaten anything today?
As if on cue, your stomach is growling. Yesterday your mood was so low that you lost your appetite and, apart from a few cornflakes, you couldn't choke down anything. And that's exactly what you answer him. 
Lando: All right. Give me half an hour and then I'll be with you, okay?
Indecisive, you type a reply, delete it, and start again. Does it make sense to let Lando into the apartment while you're in the process of packing your bags? If that's exactly what Charles was addressing?
Charles can go to hell.
You merely give Lando a thumbs-up in response before putting your phone aside and going to the bathroom to get ready for a bit. You may not care how you look right now, but you still don't want Lando to think the worst of you. You comb your hair, wash your face, and slip into more appropriate clothes than your sleeping clothes before cleaning up the living room a bit.
When the doorbell rings, you flinch. 
You open the apartment door and a smiling Lando stands in front of it. He is wearing a black sweater with a zipper on the collar and black sweatpants. In his hand he holds a white bag.
"I didn't know which canned soup was your favorite. And that's why," he raises the bag next to his face, "I brought a selection." Grinning, he pushes past you and enters. 
You close the door behind him. "You didn't have to do that."
As if it were a matter of course and as if he were here every day, he takes off his white sneakers and heads toward the kitchen, which of course he finds immediately because of the size of the apartment, and takes the cans out of the bag. "I know," he replies to you, setting the soups side by side before turning to you and resting his hands behind him on the edge of the counter. "But I'm someone who cares about his friends when they're miserable. So," he rubs his hands together. "which soup do you want to try first?"
The selection the Brit brought with him is limited to chicken, beef or vegetables, with the picture on the can of the former looking the most appealing. While he heats the soup in a small pot on the stove, you sit at the dining table and watch him. 
"May I ask why you weren't feeling well yesterday?" he asks, wooden spoon in hand, stirring the soup.
Indecisively, you look at him. 
Lando is Charles' friend. And you don't want to tell him about how Charles treated you yesterday any more than you want to tell Kika or Pierre. Because even though he hurt you so much, you don't want his friends to think badly of him. 
Lando hands you a bowl of soup before sitting down across from you in the seat that actually belongs to Charles. An image flashes before your eyes of you eating croissants for breakfast with your roommate. Sitting across from each other, eating pasta, even though you've only known each other for half an hour.
You barely noticeably shake your head to get rid of the image. A movement that Lando takes as an answer to his question. 
"Okay. But if you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you."
You smile at him. It's the exact same phrase Charles said to you in the most beautiful place in Monaco when you were feeling so bad about Raphael's call. It feels like a lifetime ago. 
"Thank you," you reply to Lando. "I really appreciate that."
As you comfortably spoon up your soup in a slightly better mood, the Brit tells you about his plans for the coming Christmas. He wants to fly back to England to be with his parents and siblings. He shows you pictures of his niece Mila, who steals the show in every photo, but you can't blame her with the chubby cheeks. 
"I can't wait to see everyone again," Lando says as he puts his phone in his back pocket. "Are you spending Christmas with your family, too?"
You shake your head. "Nope, I'm staying here." 
Lando looks at you, confused. "Alone? What about Charles? He'd take you to see his family for sure."
He would. In fact, he offered when the two of you sat at Jori's dinner table a few days ago. You remember how the two of them joked around, even though Charles had been busting his best friend's chops just minutes before. You thought that you wouldn't do anything that would risk that friendship. 
A thought you had often. 
"Where is he, anyway?" asks Lando, stretching to be able to see the rest of the apartment from where he's sitting, which isn't difficult when the apartment itself isn't particularly much bigger than a shoebox. 
You look into the empty bowl you're clutching tightly. "He has meetings in Italy," you reply curtly, setting it on the table in front of you before pulling your knees up to your chest. 
Your friend raises an eyebrow. "Are you going there too?" As you shake your head in confusion, he points to a spot behind you with a nod of his head. "I'm just asking because there's a suitcase there."
As you turn around, you immediately realize what Lando means. You've left the bedroom door open, and from where he's sitting, he has a perfect view of the doorstep. Right to where your suitcase is. 
"It's not for that," you reply. 
"What for then?"
You stand up to stall some time, and to avoid looking Lando in the eye. You rinse the bowl slowly, hoping you'll think of another good excuse to give him. But you don't want to lie to him either. After all, Lando doesn't deserve that. 
And that's why you don't say anything as you reach for the kitchen towel to dry the bowl. You rub over each spot at least three times, and even though it's already completely dry, you keep wiping over it. 
When you suddenly feel a warm hand on your shoulder, you wince. 
"What did he do?" Lando's voice is calm and gentle as he takes the bowl and cloth from your hand and sets both down on the countertop. 
"Nothing," you reply curtly, and are about to grab a glass from the cabinet when his large hand clasps yours and stops you in your tracks. 
"Come on, Y/N." Lando pulls lightly on your hand to make you turn in his direction. You keep your head lowered, however. 
If you were looking at him right now - you just can't lie to him.
"I know Charles," he says softly, before placing his index finger under your chin and lifting it to make you look at him. When you look into his worried blue eyes, you've lost the fight. "What did he do?"
You can't stop the tears that gather in the corners of your eyes. Nor can you stop them from rolling down your cheeks as you try to blink them away. Lando thinking badly of his monegasque friend is the last thing you want. 
But if you move away from here, you certainly won't see Lando again either. And then, theoretically, you may as well not care what he thinks of his friend. And after all, it's not like Charles didn't deserve it, the way he treated you. Charles brought it on himself. 
You tell Lando everything. 
You start with the fact that Raphael cheated on you and dumped you. That you lost your job a few days ago and Charles was suddenly standing in your - his - apartment. You tell him about your agreement to share the apartment because he still lets his ex-girlfriend live in his first apartment and that after four days he grew so close to your heart that it made you dizzy. 
You tell him about Raphael waiting for you in front of the apartment on the day of the dinner with your friends, and that's why you had to spend the night at Kika's, and that Charles called you in a panic and after that you shared the bed for the first time. How you were so unsure about your feelings, because Charles is Charles, and that he had you completely wrapped around his little finger, even though you've only known each other for a few days. 
You tell him about yesterday morning. What he threw at you, even though he knew exactly how much it would hurt you. How he talked about his own friend to make you feel even more insecure. And you tell him that you told Charles that you were going to move out. 
Lando stays silent the whole time, but doesn't take his eyes off you. His eyes follow every tear that drips from your chin onto your sweater, and in between he gently squeezes your hand as a sign that he's following your story. 
When you fall silent, he says nothing at first, but pulls you toward the living room, where he places you both on the couch. You worry that you've told him too much, gone a giant step too far, but it all just poured out of you and you couldn't stop the torrent of words. 
But Lando doesn't seem to be angry with you. Quite the opposite. His gaze seems softer as you look at him. "I'd like to offer you the guest room in my apartment," he finally says. "But I don't think you'd accept the offer."
You tighten your mouth into a thin line. "I think it would be best if I just moved away. There's nothing keeping me here. No job, no responsibilities. I can go anywhere." You wrench your arms in the air. "Maybe I'll get a job in the United States. Or in Australia. Just really far away from here."
"That would be a possibility, of course," Lando replies. "But that can't be what you really want, can it?"
Puzzled, you tilt your head. "Why not?"
Lando leans against the back of the sofa. "You could have moved away when you were fired. Or when Raphael dumped you. But you stayed."
You shrug helplessly. "But now I have a reason to leave."
"Do you?" he asks. 
"Obviously."
"Then why didn't you tell me everything yesterday? Or when I was just outside your door? Or warming up your soup?" he counters. You don't like the direction this conversation is taking. "You could have told me all about it right away. But you didn't, because you didn't want me to think badly of Charles."
You shrug, trying to express your indifference towards your still-roommate. But Lando isn't buying it. Not one bit of it. 
"Come on, Y/N. You can't tell me you don't care about him at all. If you did, you wouldn't be so upset by all this that you'd want to leave the country. And then you wouldn't have tried to protect him in the first place."
You hate that he's right.
"I didn't realize you were so emotionally mature," you reply to him, slightly flippantly, and no sooner have you said it than you're sorry. "Sorry. You're not the person I'm mad at." You pucker your mouth into a thin line. "Are you mad at him? At Charles?"
Lando shrugs. "I'm not thrilled, of course, that a friend of mine would talk about me that way. Especially since he knows none of it is true," he explains. "Charles is good at pushing people away who mean something to him. I just don't know if he's doing it to protect the person or himself."
"Definitely himself." You shake your head. "You don't do something like that to protect someone! That's complete bullshit!"
"Are you sure about that?" Lando rubs his palm over his cheek. "Weren't you planning on sleeping on the couch and breaking your deal?"
You raise your index finger. "Nuh-uh. That was to protect myself."
"So you haven't been telling yourself the last few days that a friendship between you is better? After all, your ex cheated on you and left you because you wouldn't sleep with him. You got fired, Y/N. Your emotional baggage is higher than the Eiffel Tower." He puts a hand on your shoulder. "You know I don't mean that in a bad way, or to hurt you. But I'm sure you're trying to protect not only your heart, but Charles' heart as well."
You feel tears welling up in your eyes again. But this time you don't even try to stop them. "He deserves someone better. Someone who won't lie to him. Someone who doesn't carry around so much baggage." You shake your head slightly and wrinkle your nose. "He deserves someone great."
Lando's hand moves from your shoulder down their arm until he can intertwine his fingers with yours. He squeezes them gently. "I know someone who's been hurt so much, but still sees the good in people." He smiles at you. "I don't know anyone more great than you."
Lando stays with you for the rest of the evening, trying to distract you, which he clearly succeeds at with the miserable rounds of Uno in which he cheated at least twelve times. As you part with a tight, friendly hug, he presses a kiss to your cheek.
"You're still allowed to be mad at Charles. What he did is absolute bullshit," he says as he slips on his shoes. "But wait a little while before you move out. Maybe he'll come crawling back and apologize. Besides, for selfish reasons, I don't want you to move to the United States. Or Australia. Or anywhere else." He gives you one last squeeze. "If you need anything, call me. I'll be right over."
"I know," you smile, "and thanks again for the soups." 
He raises his index and middle fingers to his temple, a joking goodbye. "You're always welcome. See you around. Here in Monaco."
You close the door behind him and actually feel a lot better. Lando's presence was comforting and warm, and he's someone you definitely wouldn't want to miss as a friend. 
After brushing your teeth and combing your hair, you settle into bed. Your suitcase is still at your bedroom door, but the decision to move out isn't as set in stone as it was just a few hours ago. Perhaps you would look for a hotel for the time being to gain some distance. And then seek a conversation with Charles to have his behavior explained to you. 
Friends don't treat each other like that. And he's definitely going to have some work to do to straighten that out. But there needs to be distance between you to make it work, which is why you're looking for hotels in the area to check into tomorrow. 
A violent knock on the front door startles you. It's the middle of the night and you're not expecting anyone, so you carefully tiptoe towards the door. Maybe it's Lando, who left the rest of his soups here, or maybe he left his cell phone and can't call you to let you know he's coming by. Or maybe it's just a neighbor who got the wrong door. 
It could have been all of these possibilities. But it's none of them when you open the door. 
And you immediately regret that you didn't move out yesterday.
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juicedaloe · 10 months
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Mithrun and brain damage
I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this, but I wanted to make a post talking about why I think that Mithrun has brain damage from a traumatic brain injury instead of him being a representation of other neurological disorders or mental illness. I'm not that involved in the dunmesh fandom so I don't know how common this headcanon is, though I've seen a few people mention it here and there.
This is just my own opinion so if you disagree then that's fine. Some of this is just speculation and I can't say what Kui's intentions were. This post isn't meant to be that serious. I just wanted to talk about it and hopefully inform about how brain damage can affect some people in a way that I hope is interesting and relevant.
This will be kind of long because I like to talk so it will be under the cut. Apologies for the length and how much I ramble. Feel free to give input especially if I got anything wrong or if this is too confusing.
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Okay let's go
Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is incredibly complex. The long-term effects of a TBI include a wide array of symptoms. Each injury is different, and some people can completely recover rather quickly while others can become permanently disabled, even for seemingly "minor" injuries. What I'll cover here isn't a definitive representation of the experiences of all those who have long-term effects from TBI, nor do I speak for everyone with brain damage.
Here are some long term symptoms relevant to this post:
Alexithymia (inability to process and name emotions)
Inability to process and name physical perceptions
Mood swings and emotional regulation difficulties
Communication difficulties
Social impairment
Apathy about caring for oneself
Lack of motivation
Alexithymia and inability to process physical perceptions
This one is rather obvious. While Mithrun is shown to feel emotions and have physical sensations (for instance, describing his location when he gets lost in the dungeon as "a cold place"), he is also apathetic to how this affects him. This means that his physical and emotional perceptions are reduced in some way. He says that becoming lord of the dungeon will leave someone "empty", showing he is aware of his dulled emotional state.
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A good example of this is can be seen here in a bonus comic where he doesn't give much of a reaction to burning his mouth on hot food.
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(I love these two a lot, by the way. Pattadol is really under appreciated.)
He is also not able to recognize bodily signals, such as hunger or when he is tired. Despite collapsing from exhaustion and not eating for long periods of time, he still insists he is not tired or hungry.
Mood swings
Mood swings in combination with alexithymia can be an especially disorientating experience. Those who struggle to perceive their own emotions can still feel them even if they don't know how to recognize it.
Individuals with brain injuries often experience drastic mood swings, particularly anger. To those around them, they can appear to go from 0 to 100 in an instant.
This is more speculation/headcanon on my part, as the strongest emotion Mithrun has for most of his appearances is anger. However one could interpret this as being unrelated as he is seeking revenge for a traumatic experience.
Communication difficulties and social impairment
Not only can naming personal experiences be incredibly difficult with a brain injury, but other areas of communication are often affected as well.
Mithrun is not able to set boundaries for himself even if someone is doing something he would not actually want them to do, which can leave him in a vulnerable position.
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People with brain injuries can sometimes have a paradoxical experience when it comes to communicating with others. They can go from being very quiet to speaking at length about one topic, seemingly without regard for the importance of each bit of information. (I see it like Newton's first law of motion. It is hard to start speaking and it can be just as hard to stop.)
I really like this aspect of Mithrun's characterization. Usually, he is very quiet because he has no reason to speak. However, once he starts talking he is shown to be overly specific and goes on for long periods of time. Kabru has to spend multiple days figuring out his story.
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In a side comic, Kabru tells Mithrun he should condense some of the personal details that Kabru finds irrelevant to the topic of the dungeon.
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Mithrun shares many details about himself because his desire not to do so is gone. This mirrors the experience of many people who have brain damage to overshare and not understand how their words will come across to others. Sometimes they say or do things that are insensitive or inappropriate for the situation.
Caring for oneself and motivation
In the dungeon, Mithrun becomes reliant on others for self care. He also seems especially incapable of motivating himself to take care of his body when he is particularly focused on his goals.
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In these panels, thus far he had been fairly receptive of Kabru trying to take care of him. However, he could sense that the demon was close and was too focused on that to care to eat.
Refusal of care and treatment is often an effect of traumatic brain injury. This can be for seemingly no reason, even if the person knows that this will help them. Sometimes people will lie about receiving treatment or doing things to take care of themselves, either so they can avoid it or avoid having someone take care of them.
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He knows that eating regularly and not pushing himself too much will help him - he's been told multiple times on-screen - but he still has to be continuously told by others to give him that motivation to take care of himself. He's very apathetic to his physical state, even if it seems his only desire is for revenge and he should be doing anything he can to achieve that.
Other things of note
I wasn't sure where to put this, but while Mithrun's sense of direction is speculated by Kabru to be left over from his time as lord of an ever-changing, confusing dungeon, having poor sense of direction in the way he does could also be indicative of brain injury as well.
While the dungeon is confusing and illogical, he is known to have a poor sense of direction and to get frequently lost by those around him, even trying to exit an entrance he just came through. He is shown to be very intelligent, but memory is greatly impacted by brain injuries which affects a person's sense of direction and location.
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Something that really stands out to me about Mithrun is how much the things that help him are particularly helpful to those with brain damage. He is physically capable of performing tasks, but he needs an outside source to remind him and get him started. He relies entirely on routine, and when that regularity is taken away he shows extreme difficulty taking care of himself.
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Sometimes, the care that some people need is simply someone else to encourage them or to tell them when to do things. The care that he needs is pretty consistent with a person with a brain injury who does not need a full time caretaker and would prefer to have some independence.
Also, healing magic is specified to not work with brain injury unless the person is killed and revived. Mithrun had not been revived after his injuries, so it is entirely possible for him to have sustained a TBI. I don't think this matters that much because one is still allowed to have headcanons even if there is a magical explanation or isn't really possible in canon, but I thought it was an interesting detail.
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In conclusion
Because of all this I don't believe that his lack of self care is due solely to mental illness. While mental illnesses like depression or PTSD can cause a decline in self care, the reasons why the affected individual is avoidant of these tasks differs. These disorders can also cause cognitive difficulties and emotional regulation issues, but not to the same extent or in the same way that brain damage would. I think that he does have both depression and PTSD (both are common after a TBI) but those are not his only disabilities.
And on a personal note, I just think that having a character with brain damage is really cool. Most of the time I've seen it the characters are not given very much respect and they are treated as comic relief and a joke. Regardless of whether you agree with this post or not, it is still nice to see a character with a disability like this.
Thank you if you read all of this. I hope it was easy to understand and I did not ramble too much. I don't have anything else to say but I've been wanting to write this out for a while.
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Okay bye
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cartierre · 11 months
Text
HEAD OVER HEELS | al
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SOCIAL MEDIA!AU arthur leclerc x fem!equestrian!reader
side note: i think this is short but i also think i've lost the ability to know what's long, what's short and what's the proper length for an smau fic.
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♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc and 45,938 others
tagged: ralphlauren
yourusername i'm honoured to have been chosen by ralphlauren as their new ambassador for equestrian fashion! i'm excited for the upcoming collaborations and future work together!
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user1 how can she be so effortlessly pretty while riding a literal whole ass animal ⤷ user2 it's literally a photoshoot, she's supposed to look gracefully ⤷ user3 horse back riding is actually really graceful
arthur_leclerc looking absolutely stunning mon amour (my love) comment liked by yourusername
user4 love how arthur is constantly supporting y/n ⤷ user5 boyfriend of the year
user6 when will we see you in the paddock again?
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♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, clementnovalak and 41,273 others
tagged: arthur_leclerc
yourusername one year with my favourite french person ♡
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user7 FRENCH? ⤷ user8 i think it's a joke
user9 not y/n taking the piss out of arthur hating to be called french hahahahaha
arthur_leclerc you're so funny ⤷ yourusername the funniest
user10 i just know arthur could never be mad at y/n even if he tried i mean look how he looks at her as if she's the most precious girl on the planet ⤷ arthur_leclerc in my eyes she is the most precious girl on the planet
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♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, ralphlauren and 42,293 others
tagged: ralphlauren
yourusername preparing myself for the f2 paddock fashion game with ralphlauren
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user11 girl got one brand deal and is now riding the wave ⤷ user12 she's literally an ambassador ⤷ user13 miss ma'am better get that bag
user14 she's so old money i love her
arthur_leclerc la plus belle fleur ✿❀ (the most beautiful flower) ⤷ yourusername pulling out google translate ⤷ yourusername nah stop it i'm blushing
user15 i want to be her so bad
user16 honestly now with her collab with ralphlauren i'm definitely excited for her fashion game the upcoming season
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♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc, ralphlauren and 46,938 others
tagged: ralphlauren, arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc
yourusername i missed arthur in his lil slutty fireproofs
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user17 i love y/n's humour
user18 yeah those fireproofs are doing the drivers really justice
arthur_leclerc i'm taking this as a compliment, thank you ⤷ yourusername don't let it get to your head
user19 y/n looks so good, arthur should keep her close or else i'm gonna snatch her away
user20 ralph lauren is really doing god's work y/n looks absolutely gorgeous ⤷ yourusername did i not look absolutely gorgeous before? ⤷ arthur_leclerc you always looked and always will look absolutely gorgeous
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ddejavvu · 1 year
Note
Touch starved pilots of your choice cuddling their s/o headcanons
characters written: pete 'maverick' mitchell, nick 'goose' bradshaw, tom 'iceman' kazansky, ron 'slider' kerner, leonard 'wolfman' wolfe, rick 'hollywood' neven, beau 'cyclone' simpson, bradley 'rooster' bradshaw, jake 'hangman' seresin, natasha 'phoenix' trace, robert 'bob' floyd, javy 'coyote' machado, mickey 'fanboy' garcia, reuben 'payback' fitch
sfw, but cut for length. enjoy!
Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell:
depends on what age you're thinking!
if it's young!mav, he's probably just a liiiitle reluctant to let himself relax sometimes
he's sort of got his tough guy persona, and he's not used to dropping it, so when you get him alone he tries messing around at first
whether that's a few too many kisses, or a pinch to your side, he guards himself a bit before letting himself go
but when he does, oh, he's like a little kitten !
he lets you run your hands through his gelled hair (gross)
and it gets all misshapen and spiky
he probably just melts when you pet his hair like that, and he'll be snoozing on your chest in no time
now older!mav is definitely less of a tough nut to crack
he probably initiates the cuddling in the first place, he nudges you over to the bed and lays himself on top of you to crush you
you can push at his chest and splutter all you want, but he's made his choice on where he's going to lay, and it's on you
he likes holding you, but he wants to be face-to-face, so you can brush noses and bump foreheads
he probably tries sooo hard to stay awake so that he can soak in the time you're spending together but peepaw definitely crashes like 10 minutes in
Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw:
he also likes to be face to face!
buuut not for the same sweet reason as mav
he just wants to itch you with his mustache
he likes nipping at you too, he bites your nose to make you laugh
you won't be getting any sleep when you cuddle with goose, he just wants to talk and laugh and hold you the entire time
it's not a period of time to wind down, it's a big laugh-fest
and god FORBID you try to get up to pee
“Nick, I have to go.” / “Sorry, honey. I can’t let go. I think my hand’s stuck.” / “NICK!!”
Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky
he’s another one who probably has just a bit of trouble letting his guard down
he’ll cuddle with you no doubt, but he’ll probably always keep you in his lap or have some sort of upper hand in the embrace
it takes a while before he’s ready to be held himself
when he does finally give in it's so soft and sweet :')
he's had a really hard day and he comes home with his eyes drooping
you've planned a movie night but he doesn't even look like he could sit through an episode of a tv show
so you lead him to bed instead, and tell him you're sleepy, cause he won't 'ruin' the night by admitting that he is
you ask to play with his hair and he lets you, but he's not sure why 'cause you just said you were tired??
you basically have to trick him into being held but once his head is on your chest and your hands are in his hair he's gone.
he ends up mumbling something all sleepy and groggy like 'mm, that's nice' and his eyes are half shut and he's so endearingly tired :')
he wants you to do it all the time now, I'd say it's about 50/50 whether you fall asleep holding him or he falls asleep holding you
Ron 'Slider' Kerner:
slider's a big boy!!!!!!!
he's big and tall and muscly, the perfect cuddle buddy
he's probably more inclined to hold than be held
but he likes it when you face him so you can wrap your arms around his back :')
he probably likes it when he's able to bury his face in your neck/shoulder/against the top of your head
like he always wants his face snuggled in somewhere warm and nice smelling
and it just so happens his chest is an excellent place to get lost yourself
so you most of the time just nuzzle right into each other and get to snoozin'
i think he'd talk real soft, too, he'd murmur against your ear while you're drifting off, probably boring you to sleep with technical details of his flights but just before you crash for the night he slips in a little 'i love you, honey' and <33333
Leonard 'Wolfman' Wolfe:
he's a loser for his partner it has to be said
almost as teasing as nick is but not quite
he'll let you fall asleep he just wants to talk to you AllTheTime because he LovesYouSoMuch
he's a chatterbox and you'll be lucky if you get to sleep at a decent hour
he really likes it when you lay your head on his chest
'cause he likes playing with your hair and your face :]
sometimes he'll just use you as a little stress toy and squeeze your cheeks and pinch your nose and poke at your forehead
always making silly little jokes and telling you all about his day
down to, like, every comment one of his friends made...
'and then slider said he was gonna kill him but hollywood ran, so then they were just chasing each other around and iceman said-' / 'babe.. can we sleep? please?' / 'oh! right, sorry baby.'
Rick 'Hollywood' Neven
listen there's a reason he and wolfman get along so well
they're BOTH teases!!!
cuddling with hollywood is not really relaxing, because he's always pinching your sides or putting his nasty cold feet all over you, or pretending to knock you out by fake-punching you a bunch
you're just laying there and he's 'punching' your stomach, making fake punch sounds with his mouth, and if you push him away he'll pretend you've absolutely knocked him out, tumbling down onto the mattress with this dramatic thump and closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out of his mouth like he's a dead cartoon character 😭
he's like a dog you have to get his energy out before trying to rest with him or he just Won't Rest
when you DO get him sleepy, though, he's kinda incoherent when he's tired, so you'll be cuddled up together, maybe you're scratching his back, maybe he's playing with your hair, and he's just sort of mumbling nonsense until he finally drifts off to sleep
Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson:
will not be held
sorry! not happening
he's just so big and beefy and authoritative that he doesn't much enjoy being coddled
he loves cuddling with you though, he gets very relaxed just laying with you
he's a casual toucher, i think, so you can rest your head on his shoulder at the airport, you can hold his hand at restaurants, whether that be over or under the table, he lets you hang all over him however you want
he's not super into in-your-face PDA, though, so you'll have to be polite and considerate about it
actually in bed though, under the blankets at night?
he's so much more cuddly than you'd expect
he wraps his big strong arms around you and tugs you close and lets you melt all over him <33
your favorite place to lay your head is probably his chest 'cause it's so broad and firm and nice <3
he's a good back rubber so cuddles are always soft and cozy and sleepy
Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw:
lord he's a cuddler
he's just a touchy guy, because he's probably gone without it for a significant amount of time so now that he's got you he's gonna enjoy it
big big big on pda, doesn't really care who sees
so that means cuddling in public, too
perfectly content to sit by the beach with you in his lap all cuddled back into his chest he doesn't care if anyone teases him
but back in bed he's a sucker for head scratches
if you have long-ish nails, enough to scratch at his scalp, he'll literally melt over you like an ice cream cone
his limbs go all gooey and he flops his head down on your chest, groaning and grunting while you scratch through his hair
he really enjoys sleeping on top of you, whether that be fully chest-to-chest 'you're suffocating me' cuddling or just an arm thrown over your stomach while he lays on his own
he likes being held, too, but probably prefers to hold unless he's having a hard day
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin:
big boy!! surprisingly fond of being held for everything we know about him
that cocky demeanor does not last under the sheets
he adores holding you, of course, he'll wrap his big arms around you and cradle your head to his chest
he probably plays with your hair, looooves it when you tangle your legs up with his own
he prefers if you talk to him rather than him talk to you if you're cuddling
cause he likes the sound of your voice and he loves hearing about your day
he tries to listen so attentively to what you're saying, but if you're taking a little too long telling him about that batty old customer that had visited the shop you work at today, his eyes are going to slowly start to droop and he's gonna let out a big ol yawn that means it's time for him to close his eyes
you always cut yourself off like 'sorry, jake. g'head, go to sleep'
and he insists you continue like 'nooo darlin' i wanna hear! keep going :]' except within two minutes he's dozing against the pillow while you talk about the old lady again
he's a simple man just talk soft and slow to him while snuggled up in his arms and he's gonna sleep no matter what you're telling him
Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace:
she really likes laying face-to-face with you!!
she's a fan of spooning, of course, she likes either burying her face in your back or letting you snuggle into hers
but she loves the intimacy that comes from being pretty much nose-to-nose with you
the type to lay there and chat with you mere inches away so that you're leaning in to kiss her all giggly and bashful every four seconds
she uses your cuddle time to tell you all about her teammates, what stupid shit jake said today, how bob almost tripped down the stairs, that fanboy's got a new girlfriend who wants to meet you, etc etc etc
but that means when you see them next you know all of the hot gossip about everyone and you giggle every time jake says something dumb and he's like WHAT.. WHAT IS IT.. WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME.. and you give nat this little ;) 'cause you'll definitely be talking shit about him later
she does this thing where she cradles the back of your head in her hand if you're face to face and she throws her leg over your waist and it gives you such intense butterflies that you need to close your eyes sometimes <3333
Robert 'Bob' Floyd:
cuddlebug <3
he loooves cuddling but if you do it face-to-face he's gonna need to be super close to you because he can't see without his glasses 😭
i'm taking like nose-to-nose so close that you have to cross your eyes to see him
otherwise he's pretty chill in what positions he likes
you love it when he reads to you
i think he might not be the most confident reader out loud but he does it anyways 'cause it puts you to sleep
he gets really sleepy really easily so sometimes it's best to refrain from cuddling in public
like you're out on the beach by a firepit and you're all snuggled up together but oops he can't enjoy his smores because he's sleeping on your shoulder
he loves it when you lay your head on his shoulder sm :'))
he wraps his arm around you and tugs you closer <3
Javy 'Coyote' Machado:
prefers holding to being held
probably a little less talkative than the rest, but that doesn't mean you never chat
he just has this insane ability to fall asleep anywhere, i'm talking slumped against the bus window, leaning against the wall, sitting on the ground, piloting his aircraft sorry
he likes staring at you, though, while he falls asleep :')
if you're talking to him he'll listen and nod and hum along and agree when he should, he's a very good listener
but slowly he'll start to fade a bit, and he'll sling his hand over your waist, smush his face into the pillow, and keep listening for as long as he can
slooooowly you start getting less responses from him, he's not reacting as much, but his eyes are always locked onto your face and he's got this lazy little smile on his face while he drifts off to sleep 'cause he gets to look at you the whole time :')
loverboy!!
Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia:
the most talkative in the whole wide world
cuddling with him is barely even cuddling, it's watching him act out his entire day
'and then payback went like this and- BAM! shot it down.'
and he's up on his knees in the middle of the bed with his arms out demonstrating exactly how they'd worked through their training exercises that day
and he is loud and energetic and you're half-asleep like 'that sounds awesome, babe.'
he isn't one to stay in one place really, he likes tossing and turning a bit before he falls asleep which means that you are also going to be tossed and turned
he's a really shifty sleeper too so you'll wake up with your face in his armpit
if you're really sleepy though, he'll settle down, he'll pull you into his chest and let you fall asleep there
but he'll probably be on his phone for a bit, he strikes me as a crazy night owl
Reuben 'Payback' Fitch:
out in two seconds
there is no conscious cuddling with him
why?
because the second his head hits the pillow he's snoring
you can cuddle up to him but if he's cuddling up to you he's doing it in his sleep
you're actually so jealous of him bc you lay down for the night and he tucks his chin over your head or he snuggles his face into your neck and that's it.
he's out.
he's a clingy sleeper, though, so if you wanna read for a bit or use your phone it might be kind of hard
honestly it really helps your sleep schedule to sleep with him 'cause sometimes he's entirely wrapped around you and you can't move
so there's nothing to do but sleep yourself
he's like a living furnace i KNOW that man runs hot
you probably wake up sweating a bunch if you're all snuggly with him
blanket stealer. he somehow manages to tear them off of the end of the bed where they're tucked in and cocoon himself
and then you wake up freezing cold
when i said he snores i mean it he snores loud
it's sort of comforting eventually? like at first it drives u insane
but over time you come to rely on it as white noise and you can't sleep unless he's all over you snoring right in your ear and drooling on your shoulder
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vampiretendencies · 1 year
Note
concept!! jj noticing you getting jealous over random girls talking to him and he reassures you and acts all lovey dovey 💭
noticeably, jj maybank is a sight for sore eyes. half the girls on kildare throw themselves at him, though he’s made it advantageously clear that he’s unavailable.
hell, the new intern at the local barber thought she had a chance merely because he left her a forsaken tip. since then she’s been giving him free haircuts in hopes that jj would at least acknowledge her existence.
naturally, jj doesn’t bat an eye at the poor girl. because his vision is set on his one and only.
his only message to those that made it their mission to wear at the seams of your relationship was, ‘look, i’ve finally fell in love and forgotten who you were.’
with that, you knew you truly didn’t have anything to worry about because the man is practically a lost dog on a leash, under your compulsion. that’s why you are nearly itching, trying to resist the temptation of jealously at its brink. it was supposed to be date night, with the location being the wreck for dinner, and as he’s at the bar trying to convince them he’s old enough for a glass of beer two girls swarm him like clockwork. it’s irritating the way one of their gently polished hands dust over his shoulder and the other is talking to him a little bit to close for your liking. chatting him up like he has no where to be.
it’s sickening that they’d take great lengths to earn nothing but an irresistible smile in the end. nothing more, nothing less.
“no luck on the beer baby, can you believe them— i mean i definitely look twenty one—“
“why were they talking to you?”
his pure features turn flat from that sudden interruption. even has his large hand letting go of your small one from across the table to adjust his hat as if he didn’t hear you correctly. you don’t mean for your face to turn downward, with an expression like you’d just smelled expired food— stomach churning and frown evident.
“them?!” he points their way, scoffing mixed with a chuckle in disbelief. the jealousy and envy are written on your forehead.
“yes them, who else?” you cross your arms, jj doesn’t appreciate the dismissal so he leaves from his side of the booth and squeezes into yours. a close as can be so you can’t avoid eye contact, whilst he’s trying to make things right.
“she’s heard that i work on cars here and there and asked if i could fix hers, her friend just happened to be there. nothing else, baby you know that.”
“has she also heard that you have girlfriend?
“mhm, she’s heard that m’fuckin crazy about my girl too.”
your irrationality is beneath you upon a grin trying to creep it’s way past, you really didn’t want to but it’s beckoned unfeasible around jj— he’s contagious.
“now go ahead bite my head off some more baby, i love it.”
he’d known true jealousy would be unavoidable, it took a lot for you to get here though— it’s always so painstakingly obvious how devout he is to you.
you shoved his chest a bit; playfully. whilst he pulled you into his lap with ease. peppering many kisses as he can between words. in public and all, whoever wants to stop and watch the show let them. up until your neck he feels the need to worsen the jealous trail by saying ‘get jealous more often, you looked so fucking hot pretty girl.’
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moamidzyism · 5 months
Text
pobrecito (c.sb)
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wc. 1440
genre. smut
tags. minors dni! sub!soobin x dom!fem reader, brother’s best friend, degradation, perv!soobin, panty stealing, masturbation (both f and m), nipple play, thigh riding, handjob, pet names (baby)
a/n. repost; my first soobin piece omg!!!! and also the first smut i’ve written for txt fr 😮 this is definitely minimally proofread (meaning i only ran it through the spell check), and the ending is 🥴, writing this made me feel like a p3rv i hope you enjoy it lol
more of my work
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going home for the summer was never your idea of a good time but your parents had begged you to, claiming that they never saw you anymore. little did you know that they just wanted you to house-sit while your twin brother was around because they had planned a weeklong getaway the one week you could make it back to the town you grew up in. so now, you’re stuck in your parent’s house all week long.
you thought that you could take this time to spend with your brother, given the fact that you hadn’t seen him since winter break, but he was more concerned with showing his college roommate around your hometown. soobin, the roommate, was quiet. he didn’t really talk as much as he just followed your brother around like a lost puppy.
it was a surprise how your loud, obnoxious brother got along with him, when soobin went by mostly unnoticeably.
mostly.
there were some things you couldn’t help but notice: like he never made eye contact with you when you spoke to him, or how he stuttered unbelievably when you asked him the simplest questions, or how his gaze lingered on you when you passed him in the hallway.
like tonight, for instance, the three of you sat together in the living room for the first time that week. you sat cross-legged on the living room floor around the coffee table, a box of pizza in between. they had spent their nights during that first weekend in the next town over but in your small town there was not much to do on a monday night other than watch high schoolers perform vape tricks in the mall parking lot, before they’re chased off by the night security.
so the three of you sat together in mostly awkward silence and uncomfortable small talk, the only sound coming from the sports game playing at low volume on the tv.
“so, did you guys do anything fun today?” you asked the two boys sitting opposite you. you leaned backwards to rest your back on the couch. you paid extra attention to soobin, and the way his eyes followed along the stretch of your body. his eyes ogled the way your t-shirt rode up, exposing the patch of skin right below your belly button. he took a long sip of his drink.
“yeah, we went to the old arcade on main street.” your brother responded on behalf of the two of them. then you fell back into the silence, picking the toppings off the slice on your plate.
when you were done eating you retreated to your room. the two of them dawdled in the living room for a while longer before withdrawing to your brother’s room. on his way to the bathroom, soobin stopped at your door to see that it was slightly ajar. he didn’t mean to peek through the slit. he didn’t mean to see you laying in bed with one of your hands under your shirt. and he definitely didn’t mean to follow your other arm to see it pressing on the pink vibrator that was between your legs, buzzing against your clothed cunt.
but he did and he couldn’t help but rush to the bathroom and turn on the shower to mask the sounds of his moans as he rubbed his hard length, his eyes rolling back in his head, thinking about what it would feel like to have his hands replaced by yours. what it would feel like to taste you. what it would feel like to hear your pretty voice moaning his name, telling him how good he is. 
his hips not-so-rhythmically met his fists, fisting his dick as if it were you. he just needed to feel something, feel good. his back was resting against the cold shower wall as he inched closer to his orgasm. the cold water ran down his face, which was contorted with pleasure as he bit his lip to stop a guttural groan from escaping.
the next morning, you went into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee. you saw a note on the kitchen island from your brother saying he went to pick up breakfast for only him and soobin, who was still sleeping.
asshole, you thought as you went to the fridge to figure out what you were going to eat.
now, last night, soobin was blessed with post nut clarity, which is when he came up with his foolproof plan. it had only been three days that he had been in the house with you but he had already memorized your morning routine. he pretended to be asleep when your brother left. and then he waited for the sound of your bedroom door opening, indicating that you were no longer in your room.
then it was game time.
he snuck into your room, going through your laundry basket to see if you discarded your underwear from last night. even if you didn’t, he hoped that he would find another pair of cum stained panties that he could use to jerk off with.
after finding nothing suitable to eat in the kitchen, you decided to go back to your room and order breakfast from somewhere nearby. to your surprise, you see your brother’s tall friend standing in your room with something pink and lacy in his hands. “what are you doing here?” you ask, causing him to jump.
he quickly shoves his hand in his pockets when he sees you standing in the doorway, a look of confusion and intrigue on your face. “i- i thought you were in the shower.”
“that doesn’t explain why you’re in my room.” you inch closer to him. “what’s in your pocket, binnie?”
he feels his dick twitch at your use of that nickname, but that didn’t distract him from his plan b – if anything goes wrong, deny everything. “nothing.”
“now, you know i don’t believe that, soobin. show me what’s in your pocket.” he pulls out the underwear you wore two days ago, causing you to scoff. “you’re so pathetic.”
“i’m sorry.”
“you’re sorry because you got caught.”
“no, i’m so sorry.”
“but baby, you’re still holding my underwear.” he drops them instantly, making you chuckle. your laugh was full of venom as you lifted your hand to caress his face.
“i didn’t mean to.”
“didn’t mean to do what?” you asked in mock coyness.
“i’m sorry.” you scoff again.
“is that all you can say?”
“i need you.” he mumbles.
“oh, poor baby.” you push him onto your bed. “what would my brother say if he came home to see you in his sister’s room?”
“i don’t care.” his breath hitched in his throat. “i- i just want you to touch me, please.”
“aww,” you coo. “you want me to touch you, binnie. do you think you deserve it, baby?”
“yes,” he gulps, pulling you with his long legs so that you fall on top of him, your clothed heats coming in contact with each other. he groaned at the touch.
“ha! you definitely don’t deserve it after that.” you sit up straight, finding a comfortable spot on his knee, his arms holding you in place behind your waist.“but you’re lucky, i’m feeling nice today.” you palm his cock through his sweatpants, feeling it enlarge under your hands. “you come into my room, looking through my dirty laundry like a disgusting, little pervert. and now you’re so hard, but i barely even touched you.”
“it’s b-because of you.”
“hmm, is that so?” pull his dick out, slowly stroking it. his dick twitches at the contact and he lets out a whine.
“yeah, your… your boobs.” he looks down at your hardened nipples poking through the white t-shirt you wore to sleep. “bet they look better with nothing on them.”
“you want to see them?” you ask, to which he responds with an over-eager nod. as soon as you took off your top, his lips automatically attached to your right nipple, taking it between his teeth, while his other hand fondled your left breast. you leaned your head back in ecstacy. you messily grind on his thigh, craving the feeling of something on your heat.
“fuck, soobin.” you cry out, as he moans against your breast, sending chills down your spine.
you tighten your previously loose grip on his dick, stroking him to a steady rhythm. you could feel him get closer and closer and before you knew it, he was shooting his cum on your hands. “fuck,” he whined.
“we need to clean up, my brother is going to be back any minute.”
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katiemccabeswife · 7 months
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Necklace
Katie McCabe x Reader || You lost your necklace and you need it back.
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The final whistle sounded throughout the stadium and the girls on the pitch almost simultaneously dropped their chins to their chest in defeat. The game went alright but Liverpool ended up getting a goal just after halftime and you, nor the girls, could find the opportunity to equalise it, let alone go one further.
After shaking hands with the other team and the refs, you did your routine of clapping the audience and taking photos with fans.
This wasn’t your first game and this wasn’t your first loss, you understood that sometimes you don’t play as well as you could have and sometimes the other team is just better so you understood the confusion on the girls' faces when you started crying.
Whilst you didn’t get any goals, you did have a blinder of a match. You successfully saved 5 balls from going into the box and won a few tricky challenges, anyone with 1 working eye could tell you did well. 
A necklace that normally sat around your neck was always a comfort, whether you lost or won, it reminded you of the hugs you used to get from your mother and holding it between your fingers was the closest you could get to that now. So when you reached for your neck and found that it was bare, tears instantly sprung to your eyes.
You looked around you briefly before the tears started to pour. You had been all over the field and fell over on all sides, it literally could have been anywhere. One hand had gone to your mouth and the other over your heart, you were trying not to hyperventilate but you needed to find that necklace.
You jumped slightly when hands settled on your shoulders, “It’s ok love, losses happen, we’ll get ‘em next time.” Your girlfriend, Katie, soothed.
You shook your head and let out a breath, “No, no, no,” You were trying to catch your breath and couldn’t express that you didn’t care that you lost.
“It is though love, you played beautifully, player of the match if it were up to me.” She tried to joke.
You took a deep breath and swallowed, “My necklace is gone,” Katie’s face dropped and she pulled you into a hug.
“Alright, do you remember if you had it before the match?”
“I did, I always make sure it’s on, and and,” You had to take another deep breath, “I always kiss it when the whistle sounds. I definitely had it.”
She moved to be an arm's length away and nodded, “Right, did you have it at halftime? On the pitch and in the room?”
You tried to think back, “Umm…” You shook your head as you couldn’t think.
“It’s alright love, it won’t be far and it won’t walk away on its own. Take a deep breath and try to think.”
You put your arm over your eyes and tried to even your breathing, “Um. I-I had it when I went to the bathroom at half-time.”
Katie clapped her hands, “Great! I’ll go look in the toilets. You go look it the room and then we’ll meet in the tunnel and look there, alright?”
You nodded and Katie took your head between her hands and kissed you on your forehead before pulling you, jogging slightly towards the tunnel. You looked everywhere in the room, high and low and Katie did the same in the bathrooms.
When you saw Katie waiting for you in the tunnel, talking to Jonas, you knew she hadn't found it and began to cry again.
"Hey, Y/N, we will find it, I've already got the girls looking on the pitch," Jonas spoke calmly although it did little to console you. You nodded and left with Katie, who wrapped her arms around your shoulders, to look for the necklace on the pitch.
The sight of all the girls looking warmed your heart. You were close with all of them so they all knew the history of the necklace. It had been passed through 3 generations and whilst your mother never got to physically hand it down to you before her premature death, it was a little piece of her with you all the time and it bought you solace before games and after losses.
Your heart melted a little bit more when you saw that a few girls from the other team were also looking. You heard your name being screamed from the crowd and when you turned around and saw a bunch of fans pointing at the floor you ran over to them, trying not to get your hopes up.
“Hi Y/N! After you took a photo with me, I noticed that a necklace fell on the floor, is it yours? Is that what you guys are looking for?” A girl no older than 16 asked you. You bent towards where the girl was pointing and found your necklace. You hugged the jewellery to your chest before hugging the girl in front of you.
“Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this necklace means to me,” You said while hugging the girl. 
“You're welcome, thank you for being you. I love watching you play and it encourages me to play my best. I wish to become you someday.” The girl spoke.
“Oh my gosh, aren’t you the sweetest, here,” You took off your shirt and gave it to her and called out for a sharpie. Someone ran over to you and you signed the shirt before hugging her once again.
“Thank you,” She said while crying.
“No, thank you,” You said.
You turned around to tell the girls that the necklace had been found but you saw them watching you. You made your way over and hugged Katie who then gave you her jacket. 
“Turn around, I'll put it back on you,” She smiled. When you turned around you were facing all of the girls.
“Thank you guys so much for looking,” You were still crying but you laughed as you wiped your tears. A round of ‘no worries’ and ‘your welcome’ came from the group before they swarmed you and hugged you.
After the group dispersed Katie came up and gave you another hug, “You alright now?” She spoke calmly.
You nodded into her neck, “Thank you for looking. And for getting everyone else to look, I love you.”
“I love you too,”
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mochiroreo · 10 months
Text
Oh goodie! Pt.1 [cherry pies, vanilla, and cigars]
18+ MDNI
Pairing: Older!Eddie Munson x innocent!nerdy!reader (afab!reader) x Older!Steve Harrington
Wordcount: 5.4k
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Summary: being a latchkey child, you are used to being alone. So when your parents announced that your whole family is moving to Hawkins, you paid them no mind and just packed up your bags. What you are not expecting was that the house that your family just bought comes with two neighbours that are in dire need to have you in any way.
Trigger Warnings: [this chapter: manipulation. Gaslighting. Fingering. Titty sucking. Taking advantage of reader’s vulnerable state.] she/her pronouns. DUBCON. NONCON. 100% FILTH. Smut. Unprotected P in V (wrap it before you tap it). Hidden relationships. Age gap. Cream pie. Size kink. Degradation. Corruption. Choking/slapping (in a pleasurable way). Pet names (no use of y/n). Fingering. Squirting. Overstimulation. Public sex. Non-consented Recording.
Author’s note: hello hello~ sorry for the long wait! Steddie are now on the move~! As usual, thank you so much for your support on my first fanfic ever! And sorry in advance for the grammar mistakes as English is not my first language. Not beta’d as well (we die like Nanam— *gets mugged in Shibuya arc*) Enjoy! 💖
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“Hi..?” Ever so softly,you whispered and let it hang onto the air. Both men just looking at you with wide eyes and an expression that you aren’t sure if its embarrassment because they know you have heard what they were talking about or they just don’t expect a woman like you to be in front of their door around this time. Both of them staring at you with intensity, making you unconsciously grab the boxes a little bit tighter,feeling your palms sweat before turning your head away slightly to try and ease the warmth that is slowly creeping up your body from being ogled openly. One of the them,the one with thick,luscious hair ran his eyes all over you,unconsciously biting his bottom lip. The other,arms littered with tattoos,doing the same thing, holding such intense stare that you cannot stand it anymore which made you clear your throat and snap them out of their trance.
“Hi..?” The tattooed man answered,also clearing his throat before leaning against the door frame. Taking a deep breath, he looks like he is about to say something before closing his mouth again. He ran his fingers through his shoulder length hair upwards,clearly in distraught on what to say to you,not minding how it ruined his hair a bit. He did not expect someone,a woman (who is definitely his type) to be standing in front of his friend’s door. Hell,his best friend looks like he did not expect someone at all too with how he is standing awkwardly beside him.
“Uhm.. are you lost? I— we—“ stumbling on his words, he looked at his friend with annoyance “fuck— help me out here man!” He whispered harshly to his best fried beside him with a bit of a shove,which seemed to take his friend out of his staring competition against you and made him fold his arms over his chest. “Uh,sorry, I’m Steve. Steve Harrington. and this is Eddie Munson” Steve introduced his friend and himself politely before extending his hand,which he retreated back after noticing how you’re balancing two boxes. He wanted to help you but does not want to seem like he is already overstepping his boundaries. “Is there anything we can do for you?” Steve combed his hair,a nervous habit of his,but you only stared at him.
With the presence of both men and the slowly cooling air of Hawkins,your cheeks slowly grew red. You snapped out of it when it felt like minutes has passed after his question,making your cheeks warmer in embarrassment “I uhm.. we just moved here and my mom baked these pies for you and uh the other neighbor.. I’m just here to give you yours.” Eddie clenched his jaw with how soft you spoke. God forbid him for already having feral thoughts about someone he just met. The way your cheeks grew red, the way your eyes slowly raked over him and Steve’s frame before tilting your head to stop staring at them, and how your skirt fits perfectly and shows the meaty expense of your thighs. He knows he is fucked with the palpable attraction that he is already holding for you. And its seems like his best friend holds it for you too with the way Steve looks at you. Hearing you say the statement though made him and Steve feel like they won a million bucks. What are the odds of leaving next to someone looking so divine?
“Oh-!” Steve exclaimed,grabbing both boxes from your hands,to which shocked you and almost made you fell. Eddie quickly managed to grab your arm,immediately shooting Steve a glare. “Jesus” he mumbled. His hand is warm,firmly holding you and making sure you’re standing properly before gently letting go. Your eyes widened with the sudden physical contact,mumbling a “thank you” and looking down to fiddle with your fingers,trying to calm your nerves and the odd sensation in your stomach. Steve only eyed you and Eddie sheepishly,giving you a small chuckle “Sorry. I just really wanna help you out the moment I’ve noticed you were having a hard time with these boxes” he leaned onto the door to open it wider “if you’re planning to give the other pie to the other neighbor, you’re in luck cause this guy—“ he paused before pointing his head to Eddie “this guy is your other neighbor.” Eddie gave you the friendliest smile he can muster, before extending his hand. Blaming your nerves for short circuiting because of the full blown interaction, you grabbed his hand with both of your hands and shook it gently. “Nice to meet you both.” You tried to answer sternly but your voice just won’t come out clearly. He lets out a booming laugh, looking at both of your hands before copying you and shaking both of your hands with his.
“Its nicer to meet you.”
Noticing how his voice dropped a tad bit when he said the statement,you cannot help the slight shiver that crawled under your skin. It already felt so wrong. Standing in front of two men that are literally strangers and knowing that you are already infatuated with how good-looking they are is definitely not what you expected on the first day of moving to a different state that you barely knew exist. And definitely how you reacted to someone before. Biting your lip out of embarrassment,you just nodded to him and let go of his hands. Steve,smirking with the interaction,gestured towards inside his house “would you like something to drink-? You must have been standing there for a while.” The question took you off guard,looking at them both with hesitation while you struggle to answer. “I don’t want to bother—“ before you can even finish your sentence,Steve had already cut you off “nonsense. Its alright,you’re not bothering anyone.” He waved you off,carrying the boxes with ease. “Come on in,honey.” With a boyish smile given your way, you took the invitation,the nickname making the odd feeling inside you growing stronger and hard to ignore. You followed him,stepping inside the house while Eddie closed the door with a knowing smile, which Steve returned when he looked at him.
“You just moved here today..?” Steve started as he put down the boxes on the countertop. The design of his house is very modern,neutral colours were dominating every space but not without a pop of colour here and there which just screamed like him with how he’s dressed with some brown slacks and a pale yellow sweater. You stopped looking around,realising you haven’t told them your name yet so you did,taking a seat on one of the bar stools to which Eddie followed and sat beside you.
“Aww, what a pretty name.” He cooed,chuckling with the way you immediately blushed. Both men took the opportunity to look at you closer. Glasses sitting perfectly on your face, red pouty lips that looks like they will feel like heaven once they kiss you, the soft pink skirt that fits you perfectly and shows of your curves. Something akin to feral were slowly being awaken with just your presence.
“Uh yeah,just moved in. Me and my parents.” Adjusting your glasses,you gave Steve a small smile when he handed you and Eddie some lemonade. “I see..” he nodded,taking a sip out of his own glass before continuing “are you planning to continue your studies here then,hon? Hawkins doesn’t have much to offer but the universities and public colleges here and surrounding areas are quite nice— or are you still in high school?” Eddie knows what Steve is really asking you without all the formalities. He gulped his drink,slowly taking small sips while he waits for your answer. He is hoping that if the heavenly beings are real,that they are on his side on this. Him and Steve would be disgusted with themselves inside and out if you choose the latter as the answer to Steve’s question,already planning to drop you home just in case.
“Oh no” you quickly answered,shaking your head “I am planning to attend a university here but I haven’t decided what to pursue yet.. which kind of explains why I’m out here on what should’ve been a school night. I’m turning 19 this summer” politely answering before focusing on your lemonade and removing the slice of lemon wedged at the edge of your glass. Steve sighed in relief,a little too loud, with how quick you looked at him. “Are you alright?” You asked him, tilting your head in concern to which Eddie answered “He’s fine sweetheart” the nickname rolled too easy at Eddie’s tongue, giving you a smirk. “He’s just really happy that his lemonade tastes good.” Steve only chuckled, agreeing to Eddie’s statement before he moves to open a cupboard and a drawer for some plates and cutlery for the pies. Noticing him grabbing 3 plates, you started feeling restless that you are overstaying “I uh— sorry Sir, I’m alright. I- I can just eat the pie at home. My mom bakes them all the time.” Slowly getting down from the bar stool, you grabbed your glass that was once full, along with the coaster “I don’t want to over stay, your family might come home and ask why a stranger is inside their house.” You tried to joke with them, smiling and mentally giving yourself a pat on the back for thinking that you’re really doing well at socializing, oblivious to the effects of what you called Steve. Eddie shifted uncomfortably on his seat, easing the growing pain behind his jeans while Steve took some deep breaths to steady himself. Sir. Fucking Sir. That was said with the most innocent intent but went quickly to their groins. If they thought that hearing you speak earlier was like the loveliest melody wrapped in honey, what more would it be when you’re breathless and a moaning mess underneath them?
“No, you don’t need to worry about that” Steve clarified. “Me and Eddie live alone, so you can just call us by our names. No need to be too polite,sweetie.” Walking towards where you are, he gave you a firm squeeze on your shoulder, to which you looked at him in surprise “We’re already neighbors, we’re going to see each other every day starting tonight. Might as well be comfortable around us already.” Shyly looking at him with doe-eyes, you can only give him a sincere smile while staring at him to which him and Eddie gave you a grin. Steve is ecstatic. His eyes can’t hide the emotions that he is trying to keep at bay. His excitement. Curiosity. All the things he already wants to do with you to open you up to him is slowly filling his mind. Excusing yourself to put your glass on the sink and to wash your hands, Eddie gave Steve a look. A knowing look that they’re going to talk about important things later, forgetting about all the things he laid out tonight that he said he will finish before the day ends. Wiping your hands on a tea towel, you asked them “would you perhaps know any stores around that are hiring? I would really like to apply to one..” Eddie never thought that he will smile so wide that he felt his cheeks starting to hurt. If he felt like a million bucks earlier, he felt like a million times luckier than Steve now. What are the chances that he owns a record store that clearly doesn’t need any employees except you-?
“I own a record store, if you wanna apply? No need for a resume. You look trustworthy enough.” You gasped then squealed,forgetting where you are before giving him a quick hug. You were too happy about already landing a job without going store to store and talking to every manager to notice how Eddie’s eyes widened, before slightly hugging you back. You pulled away immediately,mumbling sorry’s continuously,cheeks now back to being red at what you just did. “I’m so sorry,I’m just—“ you mumbled too quickly,while he just gave you a grin. You felt him rest his hand on the curve of your back,acting as if it doesn’t give him the same gnawing feeling at the pit of your stomach. “You’re alright. Like Stevie here said, we’re going to see each other now every day. Might as well feel comfortable,right?” You nodded at his words,relief evident on your face when you thought you ruined the night with your sudden bold move. “I- thank you so much.” You gave them both a genuine smile,to which they cannot help but be in awe with how cute you look. You feel giddy,not only did you think they’re handsome but they are also the nicest neighbours already. You cannot think how it will make your parents pretty proud. Your mom’s voice ringing inside your head “I told you so.”
Both of them guided you towards the door,you cannot stop yourself from thanking them. You stepped out of Steve’s house before turning around to look at them with a shy smile on your face. “I will bring more pies in the future. It was so nice meeting you both!” You promised to them,waving your hand goodbye as your feet found the asphalt once again,skipping on your way home.
They both waved goodbye before Steve closes the door shut,releasing a breath he’s been holding before giving Eddie a look to which he returned. Eddie clasped both of his hands on his chest. “Whoever divine being is in heaven. They are fucking real.” Steve cannot help but to run his fingers through his hair while figuring out what just happened and what he is currently feeling. He had never been smitten with someone he just met. Even with his beloved ex,Nancy, it took him a few weeks to figure out how attracted he is to her. He groaned,running his hand on his face. “I take back what I said to Robin. I take it back” he walked towards his fridge, opening it to grab a pack of beer for him and Eddie. Sitting down, he opened his beer and quickly chugged almost half of it “we were fucking teasing her with how quick it was for her to be smitten when she met Vicky. And now—“ Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, grabbing a beer as well “we are way more worse.” He shook his head,sighing at how his mind seem to drift towards a particular neighbor already. “I want her.” Eddie stated, there was no hint of playfulness nor humour in his eyes while he looks at Steve. “Do you?”
“Yeah.” Steve stood up, drinking the last of his beer before crushing the metal can and chucking it in his bin. Sighing,he plopped down on the sofa and closed his eyes. “Yeah, I want her too.” He gave Eddie a sly smile, having a mutual understanding on what they want to do.
And how they want to do it.
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Tonight is like a fever dream.
You immediately changed your clothes back to your sleeping ones with a smile on your face. Laying down, it sinks on you that you’re alone now, so you had let your mind wonder to the things you felt earlier. The feelings that were foreign to you but mixed with uncertainty. You touched your arm that was squeezed gently by Steve while the feeling of Eddie’s hand that rested on your backside felt like it’s still there. Butterflies still erupting at the pit of your stomach though laced with uneasiness and doubt. You try to calm yourself, telling yourself that they’re just your awfully nice neighbours and that they don’t deserve the doubts you’re thinking about them. Finding sleep at last.
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A week went by quickly. Days filled with sticky shirts and the smell of chlorine.
Immediately telling your parents the next day how you managed to land a job after meeting your neighbors, they were proud and happy for you. “They are just the kindest” you told them,saying how they did not hesitate to offer it to you without even getting to know you. You busy yourself with arranging your things from the move, helping your parents decide which curtains fit the living area better, and going to some good spots around Hawkins. Your days being spent mostly with your parents while they enjoy their days off with you before they go back to working again.
You went out with your mom to grab some groceries, the car slowly coming to a stop as she parks on the driveway. Talking about the things you’ve noticed about Hawkins that you did not have from where you used to live. The town kept tons of things that made it look like its stuck in the 80s and 90s. Drive through movies, vintage theaters, a mall called “Starcourt” that have a vibrant blue and red retro sign. You quickly hopped out went straight to the car trunk and opened it,trying to grab as many bags as you can. Hearing your dad’s voice not too far, you turned around to call and ask him for help before noticing that there’s two familiar silhouettes in front of him that he is currently talking too. “Dad?” Calling him a bit louder than earlier, he turned around before Steve and Eddie followed. Your eyes widened a bit, feeling the warmth that you felt that day when you met them,both of them giving you a small wave. Awfully conscious with your choice of short shorts and oversized shirt, you turned back around and focused your gaze on the bags you are trying to carry.
“Need some help,sweetheart?” The deep timbre of Eddie’s voice made you shiver, goosebumps trailing over your arms. He’s already grabbing some bags, taking the ones on your hands too. “T-thanks..” you mumbled, trying to put some space between you and him so he can carry the bags easier. Quickly shutting the trunk, you see your parents talking to Steve,clearly laughing at whatever he said. You and Eddie walked towards them, trying to grab some bags on the way even though he’s too stubborn. “Oh goodness, thank you!” Your mom exclaimed “would you gentlemen like to come in and stay for dinner? I’ll be making my casserole,which everyone says that they love. I’ll love to put that statement to the test.” Your mom asked them both,already opening the door with your dad following her “It’ll be our pleasure” Steve answered,throwing a grin on your way which made you give him a small smile back when your dad grabbed his attention,letting his eyes wander on your body for the last time before immersing himself on another round of sports talk.
Everything’s going well on their end,it seems.
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Dinner went by smoothly.
Your parents seem to love them both already,smooth talking their way on several topics that mostly focused on you in which your parents are happy to tell them about. Your mom was telling them how you are always on top of your class and subjects you find interesting. Your hobbies, your achievements, your preference in food even. While your dad tells them how you kicked a bully on 8th grade, when you did something funny in the middle of the grocery aisle that your mom snorted too loud. This made Steve and Eddie looked at you while you try to hide your face, blushing while whining “mom, dad, my god stop”. They were both taking mental notes, thinking of ways how to pamper you, how to take care of you while also how to defile you. It was a mixture of gentleness and filth, the gentle part only there to make you open up to them and their desires. After helping you mom in cleaning up and washing the dishes, you excused yourself and said goodnight to everyone, yawning on the way to the stairs to go up to your room.
Througout the dinner, Eddie cannot help but steal glances your way. How lovely you look in that oversize shirt that he wishes was his, how it showcases your neck and enough skin to leave it in his imagination, already looking forward to painting it with hickeys. He hates the fact that this is Steve’s “plan”. He hates the fact that he needs to take things slow, but he knows that all this planning and acting on it will be worth it.
And seeing Steve’s massive grin when your parents asked them after a week if both of them can look after you as they work all the time and how they don’t want you to feel alone in a new town, it is indeed worth it.
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By the time your parents left after a few days of getting told that they will be out of town for a week, you quickly found yourself in your room, burying your whole body underneath your blanket. That gnawing feeling of loneliness is now back after feeling your happiest for the past few weeks.
Your eyes slowly becoming blurry as your tears cascade down your cheeks, your hands trying to wipe every single tear away though it just kept on coming. You hated how the empty house kind of made your sobs grow louder in your ears, covering your mouth to muffle it out. The ringing of the doorbell halted your sobs, turning into sniffles while you stand up and try to look presentable on the way to your door. Only wearing your oversized sweater, you adjusted it and wore your house slippers. With one last look at a mirror near your hallway, you opened the door to find Steve and Eddie.
“Hey, sweetheart! We were supposed to come here earlier but got stucked in traffic.” Eddie explained,looking down while adjusting his watch that kept on getting too loose for his liking,. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden visit honey. They have mentioned that they’re leaving for a week and if we can look after you— why are your eyes red?” Steve asked, looking at your face intently, his smile now replaced with a scowl. The statement made Eddie look up quickly, his soft demeanor quickly changing like Steve’s. Your lower lip was jutted in a pout, trembling while you try to stop yourself from crying. “I- I’m— Mr. Harrington.. Mr. Munson—“ you tried to answer that you’re fine, just feeling off but your voice wobbled and suddenly you cannot stop your tears from spilling. Both men went rigid because of what you called them before snapping themselves out of it. They can appreciate your tear-stained cheeks later if it was in a different situation.
Steve immediately stepped inside and wrapped his arms around you, his bigger frame enveloping your body in a warm embrace. All the emotions that you were trying to keep at bay now coming out, sobbing in his chest. Steve had one of his arms wrapped around you, his hand resting on your lower back while the other holds your nape gently, drawing soft circles to calm you down. The action made you cry harder, your hands finding its way on his shirt, clutching on it tightly. “Oh baby, its okay. Its okay. We’re here” He tried to calm you down, feeling his breath on top of your head as he continue to gently rub your back. Eddie closed the door, concern written on his face as he watches his friend hold you. “How about we move to the couch, pretty girl?” Steve said, his voice laced with softness. He felt you nod on his chest, still sniffling as him and Eddie guided you to the couch. You already missed Steve’s warmth. His scent,a mix of something sweet and tart, like cherries laced with vanilla, filled your senses the moment he wrapped his arms around you. You did not dare to look at them once you sat down, feeling embarrassed about crying, and about wanting to be hugged by either of them. “Sweetheart, can you please tell us whats wrong?” Eddie softly asks, placing his hand on your knee while Steve sat down on the other side, holding your arm and rubbing it in an comforting manner. “I just— I feel so lonely.” Wiping your tears using the sleeves of your sweater, you continue “I can usually ignore it but today I’m—“ you covered your face out of embarrassment, out of thinking that they must have been annoyed by now with how much of a crybaby you are. “Oh sweet girl, come here. You don’t need to feel shy about this” Eddie said, shuffling closed to you and wrapping his arms around you, he rested his head on top of yours. Your smell intoxicating him as he take deep breaths. You gripped his arms, letting his scent consume you like Steve’s. His is a mix of cigars and grapefruit. You looked up at him with doe-eyes, his hand quickly catching your falling tears. “Me and Steve are here now, yeah? You won’t feel alone now.”
He whispered, hand now caressing your cheek in a loving manner while he looks straight to your eyes. You stared at his long lashes, pink lips that looks too soft, cheeks kissed by the sun with how there are freckles here and there up close. Steve’s arm wrapped themselves around you as you face Eddie, resting his head on your shoulder. He had let his hands wander, playing with the hem of your sweater. “Our sweet girl..” he whispered directly to your ear. You shivered, a foreign feeling crawling under your skin while you gasped. Your stomach twisting into something that is uncomfortable but at the same time pleasurable.
“No more days and nights feeling lonely..” Eddie swiped his thumb on your lips, watching you let go of your bottom lip that you did not realized you’ve been biting. “We’re now with you all the time, your parents told us to look after you. Take care of you..” Steve’s hands began to crawl their way upwards, his hands now caressing your bare thighs, before realizing you’re only wearing an underwear underneath which made him release a deep groan. You froze, feeling wetness pool in the middle of your legs. “M- Mr. Harrington..” you tried to close your legs, changing your position on the sofa before Eddie stopped you and held your face to make you look back at him again “Shhh.. its alright, sweetheart. This is how you forget. This is how you can forget how lonely and sad you’ve felt.” You tried to focus on what he was saying but Steve’s hands are now playing with the lace of your panties while also peppering soft kisses on your neck, making you release a whimper. You felt Steve’s smirk on your neck before sucking your skin, leaving his mark on you, Eddie’s pupils now blown wide with lust and desire. You continued to whimper before feeling Eddie’s lips on you. You gripped his arms, trying to control his pace, as the rational part of your brain screams how wrong it is to kiss your neighbors that were just trying to comfort you. Eddie grabbed both of your arms with one hand and pinned it to your side, while the other held your face to crane your head back a bit to let him kiss you deeper.
Steve continued his assault on your underwear, pushing your underwear down before hiking your sweater up to expose your pussy. He moaned on your neck when he touched your bare cunt that is soaking wet, fingers swiping your juicy lips before he lifted it to know what you taste like. “God, honey. You taste so sweet. So fucking sweet.” One of his hand now holds your hip still, the other going back to play with your pussy. He found your clit and kept on rubbing it in a pace that made you buck your hips. You threw your head back, Eddie quickly latching his mouth on the other side of your neck. You moaned at all the sensations you’re feeling, everything foreign but welcomed with how you unconsciously try to open your legs wider to let Steve’s thick fingers play with you more. Your mind is slowly becoming blank, pleasure numbing all the other emotions you were feeling earlier with how good they’re touching you. Eddie’s kisses travelled lower, hiking your sweater up to release your breasts before him. His mouth quickly finding your hardened nipple, sucking it hard while your other nipple gets toyed with his calloused fingers, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Breathy moans left spit-slicked lips, catching hold of Steve’s hair. The tight hold on his hair urged Steve to finally soak his fingers on your cunt, one thick finger breaching its way inside you. “Fuck!” Steve exclaimed as you moaned loudly, watching how his finger disappears while he build his pace.
Feeling you relaxed, he added another finger that made your eyes roll back. With Eddie still sucking your nipples and leaving hickeys all over your chest, and Steve’s unforgiving fingers pumping in and out of your pussy, you were starting to see white. “Yes baby, that’s it. Oh, how can you be this pretty? Even the sounds you’re making— jesus, I’m gonna explode.” Eddie mumbled on your skin, continuing his actions to your sensitive nipples. “Fucking perfect for us, made for us—“ Steve grunted, rubbing your clit using his thumb. You clenched on his fingers, the pleasure slowly becoming too much for you. “Mr. Harrington—“ you tried to call out to him, wanting to grab his arm but forgetting that Eddie is still holding it in place. “Yeah, baby? Feeling too good?” Drool pooled around your lips, losing your train of thought. High-pitched moans leaving your lips continously as Steve furrowed his eyebows in concentration. He felt you clench on his fingers, hips bucking to meet his fingers to which he knows that you’re close to cumming. “S-stop please— M-Mr. Harrington- it feels weird,I’m gonna pee—“ you tell him with shaky breaths, trying to stop the urge to not embarrass your self further. Steve chuckled, quickening his pace. Eddie inserted his thumb on your mouth, to which you immediately suck. He groaned at the feeling of your tongue enveloping his thumb and to the sight of your tear-stained cheeks and drooling mouth with how fucked out you are. One thrust of Steve’s fingers towards the spongey texture made you trembled, releasing Eddie’s thumb to let out a high-pitched moan. Steve continued before whispering on your ear. “Let go, our good girl.” He gave your neck a kiss, before feeling you still underneath them with your eyes rolled at the back of your head. Your legs quiver, creamy white cum now coating Steve’s fingers.
You whined when Steve took out his fingers, lapping your up your cum before offering his fingers to Eddie. “Taste her.” He said, Eddie quickly lapping your creamy release on Steve’s fingers while staring at your figure. He let out a deep groan, closing his eyes while he savours your flavor on his tongue. “Like fucking honey.” Both men looked at you, body coated in sweat, eyes closed with drool on your lips. Eddie took of his shirt, wiping the remnants of your cum between your legs before standing up and grabbing water for the three of you while Steve slowly arranged your position to lay you down comfortably on the sofa.
“See, honey? We got you. No more crying every night or day..” he softly talked to you, brushing your hair out of your face. He cupped your cheek on his hand, “we will be here,okay? This is what we’ll do when you feel sad and lonely. So you can forget all those.” Leaning on to his touch, you slowly opened your eyes. “B-but what about mom and dad..” you looking at him so innocently made his forgotten boner throb underneath his slacks. Not today, he told himself. “This is our little secret, yeah? Mommy and Daddy doesn’t have to know.” He gave your lips a quick peck, smiling when he watched your cheeks go pink. Eddie walked in, handing Steve your water and his. Steve made you drink a bit before letting you drift to sleep, cheeks squished on a throw pillow.
Eddie drank his water, plopping down on another chair while Steve does the same. “This is like a fucking drug.” He groaned, putting his hair in a low, messy bun. “Tell me about it” Steve combed his hair, both men watching your sleeping form in awe. “You think she won’t tell her parents?” Eddie asked, the idea making him a little nervous. “Mhm, I doubt. Besides—“ Steve looked at Eddie with a smirk, before he moves to fix your sweater from exposing your bare ass more to them. “You still have that video camera, right, Munson?” Eddie chuckled darkly to his friend, nodding his head. “Yeah. I still have it.” He looked directly at Steve’s eyes, mimicking the devilish grin of the other.
“You’re evil. And you know it. Don’t you, big boy?”
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gaybae1021 · 5 days
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Well since my bachelorette designs were received so well, I decided to complete the marriage set! Here’s my bachelors!
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Individual pics and thought processes under the cut:
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I’m drawing these from the perspective of how they’d look on day 1, but I’d definitely like to do a post-Joja higher heart design for Shane at some point. Overall for this one I just tried to make him look unkempt and dull, I desaturated his skin tone to make him look sickly and he’s the only one without eye shines, signifying how he’s lost the spark for life.
Also sorry about the socks and Birkenstocks.
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Decided to make Alex mixed, since there’s absolutely no diversity in the bachelors. Had a lot of fun translating his canon hairstyle into those short locs. Other than that the biggest change was turning his jacket into a proper varsity jacket. Short Alex gang unite!
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Okay sorry Haley, Elliot takes the win for the most changed design. Like it’s so obvious he’s meant to have a Victorian jacket and fancy trousers and all that, but after I drew him all tall and slender and I gave him little braids and beach waves he just started taking on a Boho vibe? When I drew the jacket it just looked tight and restrictive. So I decided to let the beach influence carry and we ended up with this fancy yet comfy loungewear with sandals. And I love him?
Also this was heavily inspired by ginjaninjaowo’s male espeon design
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Sebastian was honestly a pain, like I know his design plays off the emo teen archetype, but compared to the others npcs he’s actually got a lot of variety. Like he’s obviously got some emo influence, but there’s also some nerd thanks to his interest in coding and ttrpgs, and he’s also a bit of a tough guy with the bike and the smoking. So there were a lot of directions to lean. Still, his sprite is clearly going for a dark hoodie and dark jeans, so I didn’t think I could change it up without making it not feel like Sebby. Does he have a muscle tee underneath for working on the bike? I’ll never say.
Biggest change is probably the hair, just wanted something less stereotypical, and have some variety in bachelor hair length. Definitely leans into the biker side a bit lol. Otherwise I just tried add detail to his dark outfit and adorn it with his interests. So frog embroidery on his shoes, a patch on his jacket and some motor oil stains on his hoodie. Also as promised he and Maru have matching dimples.
Also happy pride month, enjoy trans Sebastian and also the head canon that he and Sam start dating provided the farmer doesn’t get there first lol.
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And with Sam the ASS trio is complete! Now with matching chokers because I said so.
Just like with Sebby I wasn’t sure which direction to go for Sam, whether to lean more into skater boy or rockstar. Ultimately he ended up more rockstar, though he’s still always roughed up from skating (probably because he refuses to take off the platform boots). He thinks the torn clothes make him look more legit though.
I had fun making his shape language compliment Sebby; he’s very top heavy from the giant hoodie so I made Sam bottom heavy with the baggy jeans and jacket. Also I had so many thoughts about him and Kent, given that Sam and Sebby are a thing and Sam isnt exactly gender conforming.
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And last but not least, Harvey. He’s sweet, he’s simple, all his heart events are charming. And yet he is always the last one I reach max hearts with because I can’t be bothered to go to the doctors office. Sorry bby, I hope I can make it up to you by designing you as an adorable cherub of a man.
I know I’m being super controversial, giving him a pushbroom mustache when the sprite is obviously a handlebar /s. But like, he’s such a square; it fits him so well. My little lawful good guy.
Ya know, I think I gave him a sweater so Elliot’s jacket would stand out, then proceeded to not give Elliot his jacket. Huh.
Anyway bonus of the boyfriends together to close us out, thanks for reading!
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aerasx · 1 year
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🌙 ❜ ─ Cum
A/n: ahhhh tysm for 100🫶🏼 this took me longer than it was supposed too. Someone please send a request idk what to right I’m running out of ideas. Also 1,000 notes on my last post???? You all are angels!
ot8! X Reader
Wc: 1.1k
» Where do stray kids like to cum?
Warnings: please tell me if I miss anything, praise, big dicks,cum on stomach, mentions of marking, coming inside, cum eating,coming on your ass, coming on tits, cum on face, oral, face sitting, Dacryphilia, coming untouched, cowgirl, begging (Mentioned).
MDNI
Not proof read
Genre: smut, smut with no plot
TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK ❤️
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Bangchan ༉‧₊˚✧ + stomach
This man is going to play it safe all the way! You can’t convince me he’s going to cum inside you even if he does have a condom on. Does mind that he doesn’t get to cum inside though he loves how your body looks with his cum on it.
Chan slips into you letting out a guttural moan from your tight walls. You buried your head farther into the pillows at his length stretching you out so deliciously. His actions make you feel like your on cloud nine. That’s not counting his lips muttering pretty praises about how you were made for him and how well your taking his thick cock. He loves the way you deliciously squeeze around him every time he does a particularly deep thrust, hitting your sweet spot just right. You let out a particularly loud moan. Probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. That’s when Chan knows your close your walls pulsating around his hard cock. He angels his hips deeper the final thrust sending you over the edge. He produces more shallow thrusts to help you ride out your orgasm, before he feels himself getting closer. With that he pulls out using his big hand to finish jerking himself off and letting out a few low groans before coming on your stomach. He eventually leans back after coming down from his high to look at his artwork. You following quickly behind him as he comes down from his high.
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Lee know ༉‧₊˚✧ + inside you
This man 100% comes inside because he feels like he’s marking you making sure everyone else knows your taken. However he still will make sure your taking birth control. Also just enjoys the feeling of your raw walls.
His grip around your waist is almost to tight, almost. On the contrary It distracts you from the feeling of lee know bullying his fat cock all the way inside your tight gummy walls. He goes in inch by inch making sure you have time to adjust to his size. It was also quite hard for Lee know not to just bottom out inside you and start moving incredibly fast. Soon, it becomes increasingly hard to hold back. He doesn’t have to worry though because you finally have his whole length inside you. He starts moving at a extremely slow pace, almost teasing himself at the temptation. He finally gives in when you whimper a small “ more please”. He immediately starts thrusting at an almost ungodly pace if he wasn’t so needy he feels the way your walls clench around him. He’s so needy for you. He knew he couldn’t last more than a couple more second at the way your walls suck him in. He feels the snap in his gut before all his fluids come out come out and paint your walls.
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Changbin༉‧₊˚✧ + ass
Mainly loves to cum on your ass because he loves doggy style and it’s the easiest after he pulls out but he also loves it because he feels like he just marked you. He also most definitely an ass man. Definitely takes a finger and tastes it after because he says it taste better on you.
The squelch’s of your pussy taking changbin in over and over again could be heard from throughout the whole house with how loud your wet n’ needy pussy was. You couldn’t care less, too lost in pleasure to notice any of your surrounding only focusing on changbin drilling his big dick into you. Changbin couldn’t get ahold of his surroundings either only wanting you to reach that orgasm you have been craving ever since he started prepping you to take him. Changbin leans down into your shoulder whispering a small praise into your ear. He knows the effect he has on you by the way you clench around him at the praise. You let out a high pitched moan when he hits your sweet spot followed by a string of curses. Changbin can also feel himself getting closer every time his flushed tip hits your sweet spot. He position changes again so he can bring both of you to an high. You slowly your high creeping up on you. Changbin thrusts a few more times before pulling out and coming on your ass. You following closely behind the cum leaking out of your abused cunt.
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Hyunjin ༉‧₊˚✧ + face
Please give this man a blow job. Please. It’s going to give him the release he’s been wanting for so long. Will definitely tug your head down when he’s close. Will make you rub your pussy for him while your giving him a blowjob too.
Mean is what is was. Mean. You couldn’t believe your usually sweet and loving Hyunjin was treating you do rough, like a fucktoy. Though you can’t deny it did get you much wetter than intended: Hyunjin new this too, he knew by the way your hand snaked down to touch yourself when giving him a blow job. Hyunjin was enjoying this much more than he was willing to admit. The way your plush lips wrapped around his length. Giving kitten licks to lap up the pre cum seeping from his flushed tip. He couldn’t take anymore of your teasing, but when he knew you would look so much prettier chocking around his cock, tip hitting the back of your throat every thrust. He was right of course. The way tears streamed down your cheeks at hyunjins bulging cock. Hyunjin couldn’t lie he got off on seeing your puffy under eyes and flushed cheeks. Mouth occupied with Hyunjins length you had to find another way to release the ache in between your legs. Speeding up your fingers around your clit wanting to cum before Hyunjin. You moan around his cock vibrations bringing him closer to the edge than before. Soon you couldn’t handle it anymore as soon as you tip yourself over the edge the pornographic moan leaving your mouth fuels Hyunjin more than before Releasing his thick cum into your mouth before pulling out. You of course swallow it at Hyunjins command.
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Han ༉‧₊˚✧ + tits
Pretty sure I’ve said this before but, this man is obsessed with your tits. If you give him a boob job he’ll be a changed man. Ride this man like your life depends on it. Cowgirl is probably his favorite position because he does no work and gets to touch your tits.
Bliss is the only word that could describe the feeling Han was having in the moment. The way your hips would quickly move up before slamming back down quickly on the base of his cock. Not only that but the way your tits bounced in front of hand face has him in a trance. His hands holding onto your hips,nails digging into your hips leaving crescent moon shapes. It was to much for him, he knew if you kept going he would reach his high quicker than he wanted to. Soon however, your thighs started burning from the work you had put in whine leaving your lips indicating you wanted Han to take over. He barely registered the whine coming out of your mouth, but he was to lazy to take on a few words come out of his lips egging you on until you both reached your highs. Now more than ever you wanted to reach your high, mainly so you could finally relax but also because you could feel your orgasm right on the tips of your fingers. Han uses his hands moving them from your hips to your breasts squeezing them tightly. One particular hard thrust sends you over the edge. You quickly pull off Han’s cock before using your hand to quickly finish him off, cum squirting up in between your plump tits Han has a thigh grip on. A Loud growl escapes Hans lips as he reaches his high.
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Felix ༉‧₊˚✧ + anywhere
He ends up coming in whatever position hes in, weather that be your mouth,stomach, or even the sheets as he grinds into them. Mostly ends up with him coming untouched though because he’s busy eating you out. Definitely embarrassed after.
Felix couldn’t tell if it was plain or pleasure. Maybe both. The way his cock was twitching for release almost made him move his hands from his right grip on your thighs to touch his leaking cock but he resists as you grind your soaking cunt onto his nose. Nudging against your sensitive clit. Felix could swear he could cum untouched with the way you moan every time his tongue darts into your clit, or the way your hands grip tighter into his hair when he forces you down more for another taste of your sweet juices. He could spend his entire life between your thighs before getting board if he could ever get board. Another moan leaves your lips contributing to the noise in the room along with the squelch’s coming from your wet pussy and Felix’s pink tounge. Your juices tasted like heaven to him sweet like candy it made him obsessed. Grinding on his face made you feel the orgasm slowly inching closer to you by the second. Felix’s nose touching your sensitive clit on last time before your high is reached. The moans of you coming undone made Felix’s cock twitch more than he hoped it would. Using one hand too aggressively jerk himself off he reaches his high right behind you.
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Seungmin ༉‧₊˚✧ + inside you
For some reason I can see him having a breeding kink. Even if he doesn’t realize that he likes coming inside you at first he’s going to cum inside you every time after he find out what it feels like.
Thankful is what Seungmin was after he found out how pleasurable it was to cum inside your pussy. It all started a few weeks ago when he was too lost in pleasure to realize how close he ways to finishing inside you. “ s-so close” the words whimpers out of his lips many times. He didn’t realize until after that he had came inside you. At first worried, but then relaxed when he felt your convulsing walls sucking him in for pleasure. He knew he couldn’t get enough. Overstimulated you for hours just to feel the way your walls would get more desperate for him each time. Now he was at it again thrusting his hips into your as you sit ontology of him, hands on his should but still lost with your eyes rolled back and tongue lolled out. Fast and deep thrust make both of you insanely close. Seungmin hips hitting yours and his cock plunging in and out of you, the sounds filling up the room could be in a porno the way you both sounded. Moans however bought both of you closer before Seungmin was able to hurry himself deep inside you before spilling his seed inside you painting your walls white.
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I.N ༉‧₊˚✧ + ass
I fully believe he loves Doggy style. Mostly because it doesn’t take a lot of work but also because when he pulls out he gets to see his cum drip from his flushed tip onto your plush cheeks.
He couldn’t believe he didn’t start taking you like this sooner. The way your ass would stick up into the air had him in shambles. The way your ass would bounce every time he did a particularly hard thrust. It was killing him because of how good it was. The way your head was hurried into pillows, the way you were begging for him to speed up. He brings his hand down to your hair pulling it into a makeshift ponytail before lifting your head up so he could hear your moans better than before. Hearing them lit up something in his core willing him to grant your beg for more. Also trying to please himself at the same time. He lets go of your hair and moves your legs so he could get deeper than before, if even possible. Hard, aggressive thrusts, make the bed shake against the wall slamming into it many times. He could feel himself about to burst, holding back until you reached your high. Luckily seconds after you cum around his flushed cock. Pulling him self off not needing to use his hand before he comes on your red flushed ass.
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ackermanbloodline · 8 months
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"I think you made a mess." - Levi Ackerman x Female Reader
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Summary: Levi makes you squirt.
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: Sexual content. 18+, MDNI, NSFW. A heads up that Levi slaps the reader, but it’s for good reason.
* * *
Levi’s fingers delicately stroked the dripping folds of your cunt after you came down from your unth orgasm. You had lost track of how many you’ve had after the third one. Each one was mind-numbing and made your legs shake with vigor. Your voice was hoarse from all the moaning. You truly didn’t know how long you two had been going at it at this point. Maybe an hour? Two? 
It was no secret that Levi was OCD when it comes to being clean and keeping things beyond spick and span, but with you, it was a completely different story. He always wanted to absolutely ruin you during sex in the best possible way. Watching you tremble and whimper beneath him was beyond addicting. He was a greedy bastard; he wanted to watch you in that overstimulated state forever. 
Levi Ackerman was addicted to you in every possible way, although he would never let you know that. 
“Yeeeah, that’s my good girl,” his voice dripped low with lust as he stroked your face and kissed your forehead. “Shit, I love it when you cum.” 
His fingers began swirling around your clit again and you grabbed his wrist, your fingernails digging into his flesh as you did so. You still were seeing stars from your last high. Your sex was so sensitive that it actually hurt, even when he caressed it in the softest way. Your body involuntarily jerked back at his touch. 
You shook your head, “Levi… I… I can’t…” 
“Oh, but you can. And you’re going to take it.” 
He slipped two fingers back inside and even though your pelvic floor was still contracting, he slowly pumped them in and out. He laid beside you. He mentally reveled at how good you felt and how your pussy squeezed his fingers with such tightness. His dick was practically aching to get inside of you. As he fingered you, he took his time passionately kissing you. Your hands landed at the back of his neck to pull him closer. 
As time progressed, his movements became faster and more frequent and, as a result, it was harder to reciprocate his lips. Still, he pulled you in towards him and hotly whispered various things against your mouth. You swallowed his words with eagerness. 
“Does that feel good, baby?” “Yeah?” “Oh, I love hearing your pathetic little moans, fuck.” “Come on, sweetheart. Louder.” “You’re all mine, you got that?” 
You’d never heard Levi say these things to you in such a sultry way. He was so saturated with desire for you that he was practically going out of his mind. You looked down at his hand down at your sex and every vein in his arm was popping and looked like faded lines on a map. Levi curled his fingers upward to add to his assault and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your back arched up off the bed. 
Levi watched you like you were the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. His eyes are glued to your body as it slowly unhinges with his actions. He planted open-mouthed kisses to the skin of your chest and wrapped his lips around your nipple. Your skin was already partially littered with a few light hickies and bruises. His tongue swirled around it as it hardened and your moans became much louder than before. Your hands found their way to his hair, grasping at his black locks with desperation. 
His length gently brushed up against your leg as Levi also tried to get some type of relief and foggy trails of pre-cum smear against the skin there. You squealed out his name when he took a nipple in between his teeth and pulled back on it lightly. You felt your warm arousal drip down onto the sheets below. Levi was definitely going to have to change them after this. 
It was getting hard to breathe now. You felt dizzy from unconsciously holding your breath from the overwhelming pleasure. Your mind was only focusing on the center in between your legs. Everything else was tuned out. Something felt different, though… like a certain… ache or fullness that’s waiting to be released. It felt foreign. Your eyelids squeezed shut. 
Your nails dug into the muscles in Levi’s back as your orgasm neared. He noticed your walls clenching around him and met your lips once again. 
“Open those eyes for me,” he softly but firmly demanded. You had a hard time complying as the warmth between your legs was almost too strong but you find the willpower to do what you’re told. His eyes sliced into yours mercilessly. “That’s it, baby. Come on, you can do it.” 
His words of encouragement pushed you to the brink and your moans became broken and turn into shouts and shrieks. Your ragged breathing only encouraged him to go further. His fingers moved vigorously in your pussy and your body shook. A certain tingling sensation encased your pelvic floor, almost like you have to use the restroom. 
“Show me how pretty you look when you cum again,” he said with your name. 
Your orgasm took over you and you saw stars dance at the edge of your vision. You couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore, you had no choice but to close them. Waves of warm gratification washed over you and Levi’s fingers worked through them. He smirked down at you in your most vulnerable state. Pretty soon, your moans quieted and your body stopped moving completely. 
Levi’s eyebrows furrowed together. He called for you and received no response. 
“Hey, this isn’t funny,” he called your name again. “Wake up, now.” 
Still nothing. 
His heart dropped in his chest and his voice raised. He slowly raised his hand and with a lot of hesitation, slapped you across the face. Once. Twice. Three times. You were still limp. 
“Fuck!” 
He leaned his head on your chest. Your heart was still steady and strong. A little elevated (probably because of your orgasm), but steady and strong. He releases a breath of relief with the sound beating loud in his ear. As a number of curse words left his lips, he quickly got up and retrieved a glass of cold water and a towel from the bathroom tap and splashed it onto your face. 
Your eyelids fluttered open and you were extremely disoriented. The room was spinning and everything was blurry. 
“Le-Levi?” 
He rushed to your side and cupped your face. Your arms shakily wrapped around his naked body, his lips pressed into your hairline. Both of you closed your eyes. Now that he knew you were going to be okay, his breathing steadied and intense comfort took over his entire being. He used the towel to dry up the water on your face and in your hair. 
“You passed out,” he said. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart... How’re you feeling?” 
“Like... I just got hit by a train… but in a good way...” 
Levi didn’t respond. As he held you for a few moments, he silently made a vow to himself to not push your body that far ever again. He averted his gaze down to the foot of the bed and noticed streaks of wetness saturating the bed, which confused him. 
Until he looked down at the hand he was just fingering you with and noticed that it’s soaked. His eyes went wide. He tried to remember if he noticed anything as your orgasm ripped through you. It isn’t until he remembers the foggy memory of warm liquid gushing out in his palm that he realized that he had made you squirt. He just didn’t have the time to fully acknowledge it at the moment with you being unconscious. With you pressed up against his chest, you observed that his calming heart rate was speeding up.  
He used his other hand to stroke your hair soothingly, “Hey.” 
You responded groggily, “Hmm?” 
“I think... I think you made a mess.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Look.” 
He pointed down to the bed and you notice the same trail of wetness on the bed. You are confused. Levi and you had had sex a few times but nothing like this before.
“Wait… is that from… me?” 
“It is.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t from the water?” 
“Yes, I’m sure.” 
Your mouth dropped open. You had never squirted (or passed out) like that before. You buried your face in Levi’s chest in embarrassment and let out a pained groan. Levi grasped your chin and tilted it up, making you look at him. You shriveled under his gaze, even though it was warm and loving. 
“Don’t be embarrassed, sweetheart. It’s flattering. Maybe we can try to do that again at a later date… preferably without you passing out.” 
You laughed, “Yeah, I would be willing to try that again.” 
Levi held you again and time seems to stop just momentarily. He broke the silence again after a few minutes. 
“You did well, you know.” 
“Mmm, as did you,” you pushed your lips forward onto his briskly. “Thank you.” 
“It’s my honor.”
550 notes · View notes
quimichi · 9 months
Note
NSFW [ SFW if NSFW isn’t okay- ] Malleus Hc? [ male reader if your comfy with tat, if not gn is good too :3 ] ignore if your not taking requests or this isn’t okay-
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. . . . . . . . . ╰──╮MY DEAREST ╭──╯ . . . . . . . . .
(N)SFW MALLEUS BF HCS
Malleus x Gn!Reader
A/n: I do male reader, but since you said gn reader is fine too I did gn reader! I hope it's ok but obviously I can still do a male reader ♡
SFW
: ̗̀➛ first of all, damn you're lucky like---
: ̗̀➛ the fact that you're now in a relationship with the most powerful being of the school is mad scary for so many. After all, you're just a magicless human.
: ̗̀➛ but you are so much more to Malleus himself, and he takes a pot of pride in being your partner, boyfriend sounds so...weird to him
: ̗̀➛ Lilia btw is a super proud mom
: ̗̀➛ i have the add the adorable gargoyle stuff because it's a Malleus thing. He always takes his time and is open minded to youe interest, so obviously you are too! Whatever it might be he will try and study it to understand you better
: ̗̀➛ please help him tho, he may get a little lost in places of the internet if he ever trys to learn more on there
: ̗̀➛ insist on you two sleeping together. And INSISTS that you and Grim move to his dorm, his room to be specific, because the conditions you live in? We don't talk about them---
: ̗̀➛ once he got a taste of cuddling, it was over for you. He can and will get clingy at night, pulling you into his chest so he can hold you
: ̗̀➛ very protective and somehow greedy. Your attention is his, his animalistic dragon side may come out there but you can deal with it, so far that is-
: ̗̀➛ gets you way to expensive presents, mostly with pretty gems. Things like jewelry, or even other decorative pieces. All in your favorite color(s)
: ̗̀➛ loves to take late night walks with you, having your arms linked while slowly walking beside each other enjoying not only the atmosphere but each other's company
: ̗̀➛ will also read to you if you ever ask for it. Having you falling asleep right there in his arms ro his soothing voice really does sound like a dream
: ̗̀➛ lol he literally told Sebek to also protect you from any harm that comes if he can't be around you (which is like so rare he's glued to your side)
: ̗̀➛ baby can't use his phone right and would think that if he speaks to his phone with the chat open it will magically send the text to you, like you always do with voice mails---
: ̗̀➛ or he has his front camera open and doesn't know how to turn the view so he literally turns the whole phone and trys to blindly press the button
: ̗̀➛ he's so cute stfu
NSFW
: ̗̀➛ this guy is huge like---massive. You have to be around his size to really take it down good-
: ̗̀➛ rip to my fellow small people out there
: ̗̀➛ obviously he gives off big dick energy and this is what he has, a big dick. Like 9 inches, in cm that would be 22
: ̗̀➛ it's average in thickness but the length...damn: ̗̀➛ like i said before very protective, also meaning possessive. He will mark you up, with his smell and with any other sign he can. That's why he gets you the jewelry too. And also hickey's
: ̗̀➛ if you dont like those, he won't do any of them he respects you to much for this to push you into anything that you are not willing to at least try. Same with showing them, if you don't like people to know this way, he is very okay with this
: ̗̀➛ since he does love and respect you a lot, like literally adore and being obsessed with you, you will have the final word of anything. He is willing to try everything out of curiosity and will maybe bring something up himself, but won't MAKE you do anything. A no is a no after all
: ̗̀➛ so a no for him is definitely degration, like sry people who like it but no-
: ̗̀➛ [FEM REDER] a little yandere but would baby trap you at some point in life cause he knocks you up all the time with everything he has. So in the end, you are truly only his
: ̗̀➛ [MALE READER] would also let you take control once in a while. Yes, he is dominant for 99% but if you are also, just ask and take control he won't bite unless you want to, bite back even. Literally ruin this man's insides he will love it ♡
: ̗̀➛ seeing you so...rounded with his cum just makes him keep going, if you let him
: ̗̀➛ also, belly bulge. It's hypnotizing seeing himself going in and out of you, in and out...
: ̗̀➛ can go for so many rounds, because the Stamina he has is insane. Like he turns when you star begging for his dick inside you
: ̗̀➛ really loves to hear you, he knows you're obsessed with his voice but so is he with yours. He won't only whisper those dirty but also sweet things into your ear, making you weak. He wil also make you say things you were never expecting to say, without him forcing you. Same with the noises he can draw out
: ̗̀➛ He makes you shameless without even realizing it and it makes his brain go brrr
: ̗̀➛ to a point where Lilia heard it more than once-
462 notes · View notes
randombush3 · 3 months
Text
revocate animos (with or without me)
alexia putellas x reader
part one, part two, part three, part four
the second half of this part (it didn't fit in one post lol)
words: it's over 14k. i had lots to say.
summary: the final part, which originally had a different ending but i was told it was evil so i changed it.
warnings: it's mainly just sad, there's a bit of smut though
notes: i could give you so many excuses as to why this is being posted now but no one wants to read that so i'll just say sorry x
anyway, i got very lost along the way at points and had some serious plot crises that had me tearing my hair out. i researched children's behaviour to the point of needing an honourory qualification, and i spent the last three hours ignoring my girlfriend while i finished this off.
for as much as i put these two through (and myself tbh), i'm sad to finish it off. BUT ALSO NOW IM FREE.
have fun reading! and sorry about the length of it
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London smells of dirty rain and exhaust fumes, of a homelessness crisis and inflation attempting to impersonate that of the Weimar Republic; greyish streets, cracks in the pavement, thousands of spices from all over the world. Grubby patterns, hidden by the smudging of millions of bottoms, coloured poles that used to match the train line but no longer do. You breathe it all in, eyes closed as the motion of the underground jerks you sideways, the train leaving London Bridge just as you left Barcelona. Without looking back. 
You had laughed when they told you they’d send a driver to get you from the airport. The luxury of some shiny black car held no appeal when compared to the familiar Northern line, its blackened route well-travelled and your own brick-road home. 
Part of this choice to ‘slum it’ is borne of your desire to return to the past; a time before the fame and the fortune, when camera flashes came from your parents’ Sony Cyber-shot and not paparazzos with a hunger to splash you across the front page of a slimy gossip magazine. There was no Alexia, then. The extent of Spanish in your life was Anya studying for her A-levels, and you’d spend time writing songs without it feeling like pulling teeth. Without having to relive some of the worst moments of your life. 
Those hadn’t happened yet.
God, you were so naive then back then. 
Your London shows are in Wembley. Two nights, two journeys through your album, through your heartbreak. Both are sold out. 
“See it, say it, sorted,” you mouth along to the voice, pushing the handle of your suitcase upwards, rising from your seat. The doors of the tube swoosh open, the yellow line of the platform attacking your tired eyes as Highgate station is revealed to you. You hear a whisper of ‘is that Y/n L/n?’ but you don’t turn around. 
The wheels of your suitcase gurgle against the bumpy pavement leading up to your house, but they grow quieter as you approach. They must sense the tension, glad to have the smoother surface of your driveway to move across as you force yourself to continue walking forwards. 
A woman is standing on your porch. Her body swivels around as she hears you stop just behind her. 
Leah takes in the sight of you, deciding that you definitely did not enjoy Barcelona. “I was just about to ring the doorbell, but I guess you wouldn’t have answered the door anyway,” she says with an awkward chuckle, not sure if you want to talk about how rough you look. You cried the entire flight, and refused to contact anyone once you had landed, hoping they assumed your plane had crashed and you had drowned somewhere in the English Channel. 
“I got here in the morning.” Your voice is unused. It croaks, shattered. 
“Let me get your bag?” asks Leah, rather firmly, leaving you no room to decline her request before she has stepped off the porch and into your personal space. She looks up at you, wondering how you manage to look so beautiful even now, hand blindly reaching out for the hard shell of your suitcase as she stares. “How’re Nico and–” 
Your lips silence her before she is finished. Leah freezes, surprised this is the moment you have chosen to kiss her.
But she misses you as soon as you pull away. 
“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, and she cringes at the self-loathing that drips from your words. A tear rolls down your cheek, but you are unsure whether it falls because you have kissed her or because you want to kiss her again. “I shouldn’t have done that.” 
You must have argued with Alexia. Leah’s realisation weighs heavy on her heart. Something has to have happened for you to have made your move, because Leah had been starting to accept the idea that you were still in love with your ex and she was nothing more than a friend. She had been looking forward to your concert tonight, in all honesty, and was excited to see you again, glad to have you in her life in any way, shape, or form.
“Because,” she starts hesitantly, “because you didn’t like it? Or…” 
“Leah.” 
“If you wanted to kiss me again, I wouldn’t mind.” 
“Leah,” you repeat, the vowels almost failing to drop from the tip of your tongue. This is a dangerous game, but the look in Leah’s blue eyes tells you that she is happy to play it. “Leah, I… I shouldn’t have kissed you?” 
“Is that a question?” 
You blink. “I’m not sure.” 
“If it’s a question, I’d say that the answer is the opposite. And that we should go inside.” She slides her hand over the metal handle of your suitcase, warm skin covering your fingers where your grip is still curled around it. “But only if you want to.” 
Do you want to? 
You value your friendship, you really do; Leah has been there for you many times since you met her, never asking too many questions. She means something more than what you crave from her, and doesn’t deserve to be the woman you use to detach yourself from reality. 
But Leah is looking at you with desire that has been missed, relentlessness promised by her toned muscles. Leah is looking at you as though you are the only star in the galaxy or the sun on a rainy day. Leah is looking at you like she wants to devour you, and you, with no soul left to give, resign to letting her have your body.
“This won’t change anything, right?”
It’s a mean question. You know that. 
“Course not,” Leah lies. 
You let it convince the both of you. 
Pink glitter covers the dining table at one end, and shiny green stars are scattered on top of the brown grain of the wood on the other.
“She might be at soundchek,” Alexia explains to Nico, who is finished with his Mother’s Day creation and is now intent on FaceTiming you to show you the card he has made. “And cards are supposed to be a surprise. That’s why we made envelopes!” 
“But you said my card should be put in a museum,” he replies with a frown, his nose crinkling in confusion just as yours does. “So we show her now.” 
“Mi amor, that’s not how it works,” laughs Alexia, reaching out to ruffle his hair. With Elena settled comfortably on her healthy knee, gleefully pushing piles of glitter around so that it mixes with the glue smeared on her card, it is safe to say that this year’s cards are going to be successes. “Mama has promised to call when she gets home, and you can tell her that you have a surprise for her. That will build up the excitement, and make it even better when she gets to open it.” 
Your son has become a cynic. “And when will that be?” 
“Mother’s Day is on the 19th, so we have three days to wait.” You have purposely chosen a chartered route to Tokyo that flies via Barcelona so that you get to spend the day with your children before your fortnight in Asia to end the first half of the tour. “Do you want to write the words out for Lela once the glue has dried?” 
“I don’t know what Lela wants me to say,” he explains with great concern, turning to his sister with a very serious expression. He speaks to her in English, because he knows that this card is for you. He understands that there are two Mother’s Days, though he thinks it’s because he has two mothers, and that Alexia’s day is in May. When Alexia opens her mouth to speak, Nico is quick to shut her down. “Calla, Mami, no sabes nada de inglés.”
Your legs slam together but find no available route with Leah’s body in between them. 
It feels… good. 
Liberating.
You haven’t brought her into your bed, which she notices but doesn’t comment on. It’s excusable to be on the sofa, to have stayed downstairs for the hours she has spent trying to make you feel better, because the clock has only just ticked its way to lunchtime. You laugh to yourself at the thought of that, amused by the notion that you have already eaten.
Leah is curious when it comes to you. That much you had expected, having been aware of her lingering gazes long before the sores on your heart had calloused into tougher muscle. She has been waiting for this resiliently, and you present yourself to her as though you are a new toy she finally gets to play with. She kisses you slowly at times, to memorise the warmth of your tongue or the jut of your chin, but she often grows impatient, wanting nothing more than to end her torture and find out what it is like. 
What is it like to have a woman like you? To wake up next to you, kiss you, touch you? 
How does your mind work? What do you smell like just after getting out of the shower? Does your accent ever slip, or is it really that posh? 
The air in the living room is hazy now, and your eyes close in bliss as you let your sweat seep into the grainy fabric of your white sofa. Leah doesn’t crawl into your open arms as you assume she will. 
She wipes her mouth. 
Although Leah has enjoyed this very much, she knows that this instance has not been you allowing her to start to love you. It has been for her to help you forget how much pain you are in. Somewhere deep down, she cares, but she doesn’t try to search for the emotion.
“So,” she says with a giggle, as if you are two teenage girls, best friends who have decided to kiss so that they can practise for the real thing, “do I need to send an apology present to your makeup artist?” Sitting back on her knees, she swipes one hand down to pluck her t-shirt from the floor, pulling it on top of her naked body before sending you an exaggerated smirk and prodding the developing bruise on your neck.
“Fuck,” you groan, batting her hand away. “I completely forgot I had that thing tonight.” You also need to call your children before Alexia bans your name from her household (if that hasn’t happened already). 
“That ‘thing’ being your concert at Wembley?” 
“I’d have thought selling out Wembley is the norm for you now, Captain,” you tease, clearing your throat. “England have done it, Champions of Europe for the very first time.” 
“You’re freakishly good at a commentator’s voice.” 
“Gotten used to being my own commentator. Only Spanish streams in my house – even United matches!” You smile at your own frustration but it quickly sours as awkwardness drops on top of you. You bring your arms up to cover your bare chest, but Leah clears her throat with softened eyes and you no longer feel so exposed. 
You feel safe.
“What happened in Barcelona?” You shake your head at her question. “That bad, huh?” she presses. 
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you tell her, grey clouds hanging over you as your voice darkens and lowers. “Like, at all.” 
“I think you should. It’s better it comes out now than later when you’ve had lots to drink and no idea who you’re ranting about it to, isn’t it? And it’s just me; I’m not going to judge you.” 
“But you know her. You know her friends.” Your hands move to cover your face. Leah can have your body, but you don’t want her to have your tears. “Thank you for caring, babe, but I think I’m going to handle this one on my own.” 
“Well, you know that–” 
“You’re always a phone call away.” You smile, tears sucked back inside you, bottled away in glassware you store in crates labelled ‘VERY FRAGILE’. Desperate to change the subject, you adjust your position on the sofa, sitting up. Leah tries very hard not to stare at the curves of your chest. “You know, Lee, I never thought you’d be that good in bed.” 
Alexia is in desperate need of advice. 
Her muscles contract and relax, the tissues pulling on her bone, which, in turn, pulls her. She is strung along, driven perhaps by her leap in recovery and impending comeback. She almost breaks out into a jog, but the church she has dragged herself to comes into view before she can gain speed. 
She had not expected this from herself. 
It’s nothing special to her, though she will admit that the architecture of the building does hold some sense of divinity, but the heavy wooden door is propped open and she is drawn inside. 
The Sacrament of Reconciliation, Fridays, 17.00-17.30. 
Alexia checks her watch, the golden links gleaming on her wrist, catching the sunlight that filters in through the glass windows. 
She catches a glimpse of white behind the doors of the Confession booth, becoming acutely aware of how empty the church is. The curtain has been pulled back, bunched to the left-hand side carefully, as though the previous handler had moved with peace. 
It can’t be that bad, can it? 
It’s just like therapy. 
Her feet carry her forwards once more, leading her into the wooden booth. It smells old. The cushion she kneels on is blue, she thinks, but she cannot tell because it goes dark once she pulls the curtain shut. 
Alexia is not a religious person. Sure, she signs the cross before stepping onto the pitch, and, like most people she knows, she is baptised, but her faith is limited to that. When she tore her ACL, she spent evenings trying to pray, trying to force her to believe in Him. It would have been comforting to know that someone had a plan for her, was watching over her carefully with the knowledge of how it was going to play out. It was to no avail. 
But somehow she knows what to say, and so she does. 
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” She recites the words like lines from a play, head bowed in shame as she writes her next sentences in her mind. “This is my first and, probably, my last confession.” 
Silence. 
She rests her hands in her lap, shuffling around to ensure she is not pressing down on her knee in any way that is harmful. It would kill her to have to push back her return to the pitch because of some stupid thing she has spontaneously chucked herself into. 
“I messed up.” She laughs. “No, that is actually an understatement. I know this is a church and I really shouldn’t swear, but I fucked up. Father, I had Heaven in my hands and I threw it away as though it were meaningless. Was it greed? Was it greed that led me to do it?” 
“Do what, my daughter?” 
The priest sounds younger than she’d thought he would be. 
“I had an affair with a woman whom I am certain I do love a little bit, but, by doing that, I destroyed a life that was perfect. Was it greed?” 
“I think you know the answer to that.” 
“Was it temptation?” Alexia tries again, desperately. Part of her yearns for the priest to tell her it was the Devil so that she can shed the responsibility. “I love my wife. More than anything, I love her. I do not think my own life is worth living if it is not in service to her, to our children, to the smile she reserves for her favourite people. I… I didn’t attempt it, but I thought about killing myself.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “Only once, but I thought it all the same. My sister called me selfish.
“It’s just – forgive me – fucked, isn’t it? I got carried away. I got lonely, I was alone. I craved something to make me forget, to pinch the gaping hole in my life shut. I relied on it to make me feel better, and it did for a time. But now it has made me feel much, much worse.
“And I am sorry! I am so, so sorry. I have grown sick of the word; I’ve used it so much that it holds no meaning anymore. It doesn’t do my regret justice, nor my quest for forgiveness, and I’m really on that quest, Father, I want to stress that to you. I lost my temper and said things I should not have said – things I don’t even believe – but I did not mean them then, and I do not mean them now.” 
“You are not religious,” accuses the priest, very gently. His voice washes over Alexia’s ears like a wave of warm saltwater from the Mediterranean, and she feels comfortable enough to swim into the expanse in front of her. “Our God is forgiving, but it is not His forgiveness that you seek. I cannot give you a prayer that will make her absolve your sins, because our holy words are not spells.” 
“Father,” croaks Alexia. As her lips part, she tastes the saltwater of the sea, dripping down her cheeks as though the tide has come in and there is no other option than for her to be flooded. “Please help me. I don’t know what to do.” 
The priest speaks, but she assigns the voice to someone else. 
The first thing you forget about a person is what their voice sounds like. It lingers like a feeling you can’t quite name; distant, distorted, enhanced by fantasy.
Alexia does not remember her father’s voice. 
The realisation is crushing. 
She knows his words – they are her prayers – but, like Catholics do not know the voice of their God, she can no longer hear the voice of hers. 
What would her father say if he saw her like this? On her knees in a Confession booth, backed against the wall with nowhere to hide?
This is not the girl he was proud of. Alexia, of course, is not that eighteen-year-old anymore; she hasn’t been for a decade. But, recently, the legacy of that unknown Levante player has disappeared. 
Alexia is so very lost. 
She does not know where she is in her own city. In her home. 
She does not know her place in her life, much less her place in yours – if you will still grant her one. 
She has not felt the thrill of football for months, has driven herself to Hell and back, and considered giving up enough to be on the brink of actually doing it. 
She has seen countless meals hit the water of her toilet, never digested, never deserving of the very thing that keeps her alive. 
She has counted your sacrifices, memorising the digits of an ongoing figure so that she can punish herself with the knowledge. 
She has tried to forget English, tried to improve her English, and taken vows of silence. 
She has cried and cried and cried until the only thing left for her to excrete is her hot, red blood. 
She has searched for a way out of the maze. She has failed every time. 
Alexia is lost without you, and she knows it. Everyone knows it, perhaps even you yourself. Do you revel in that fact? Do you enjoy it? 
You have a right to watch her suffer. You do, you do, you do. 
Alexia runs a hand through her damp hair, sweating as she sobs in the booth next to some stranger who she will never meet again. Her mouth is dry but her cries are wet and raw, and they scrape her throat as she chokes them out, losing her breath and falling silent only to catch it and begin again. The cushion burns her knees as though she is trapped in an inferno, the darkness blazing against her skin. 
The priest talks to her for a long time, not letting her leave until she has calmed down. She sniffles, wiping her nose with the back of her palm before softly pressing her thumbs to her blotchy cheeks to clear the final tears from them. 
When he is finished, he instructs her to take a few deep breaths, which she does. “You are not entitled to her forgiveness,” he reminds her. He begins the Prayer of Absolution – he insists for the sake of closure – and Alexia walks away from the church no more than five minutes later. 
She is still stuck in the maze, but she has restored that voice in her head that she knows will help her find her way out.
“So you went to church?” Olga asks with an amused smile, taking the first sip of her latte, relishing in the gentle burn of the liquid. She needs this coffee; she stayed up late last night because she knew Alexia has been struggling. There is nothing worse than being asleep when Alexia calls her for help. 
“I have no idea how I ended up there,” Alexia explains, somewhat defensive about yesterday’s catharsis. “Confession is way better than therapy. There is too much accountability in therapy.” 
“You have a lot to account for.” 
She huffs out a breath, taking a sip of her own drink. “I know, Olga, but I cannot change the past, so what would you like me to do?” Olga doesn’t reply. The brunette parts her lips, but promptly closes her mouth when she sees Alexia’s slight discomfort. “Mama wants you to come to dinner tonight. I… I do too.” 
Olga’s smile is big and genuine. “I’d love that,” she answers. “Eli is the best cook out of our friends’ parents. Everyone knows that.” 
You’re in London, childless, and are watching the grand old Arsenal play (reluctantly, forced to by Leah if anything). Alexia has seen the pictures of you at the match on Instagram; she has already felt the frustration that you are most-likely never going to watch Barcelona play again unless it is to support the other team. Like clockwork, Alexia seeks to fill the gaping hole you have left in her life. Somewhere, somehow, the lines of friendship between her and Olga have blurred. 
It takes just over a month for Leah to crack. 
You appear in London every two weeks, attending meetings and events, but she has decided, once and for all, to see through your excuses. You come to London for her. She knows that, and so do you. Leah’s ego has not reached a size where she believes she is enough for you, but the facts (and Lia Wälti) tell her she is wrong. 
Except, what Leah tends to leave out is that no matter how many times you let her sleep with you, she still is unable to access a certain part of your mind. 
She has never been upstairs in your house because you always prefer to go to her place in St. Albans. She has never slept in your bed, nor woken up next to you. 
You talk to her like she is still the same old Leah, the captain you befriended during the tournament of her lifetime, your entrance in her life intertwined with the ecstasy of winning the Euros. She closes her eyes and thinks of how you looked that summer; white England shirt, sunglasses pulled down over your eyes. Smiling, cheering. For her, she greedily claims to herself.
Sometimes, in her mind, you lift your sunglasses – you always seem to be crying when she pictures this – but Leah is only vaguely familiar with the timeline of your divorce. This is the issue.
There is a door that you have locked and refuse to let Leah find the key. It leads to heartbreak, to Nico and Elena, to a family you once had. 
“I wish you would let me in,” Leah says one day. (The day she cracks.) She tears her ACL two days prior, something that makes you feel guiltily nauseous, and you have come to visit her. She knows that you had flown over the minute you had swapped custody with Alexia. 
Your legs curl into your chest as you try to reduce the amount of space you are taking up on Leah’s sofa, cautious of her injured knee. Leah misses the warmth of your thighs, and wants to revoke her conversation starter instantly, pained that she has to even ignite the fire of this forbidden topic. “What do you mean?” comes your quiet reply, unwilling to disturb the peace of her living room. The peace of existing side-by-side. 
“Exactly what I said.” Leah nods to emphasise her agreement with herself. “I wish you would let me in, because how do you expect me to love you if I don’t know you?” 
She sees the bullet fly through the air; she sees the moment it hits you, the way you go rigid. Dead. Dying? 
“It’s crazy because it usually takes years for me to feel about someone the way I feel about you, and I just… I just wanted to tell you that it’s okay to let me in. I want to hear everything, to know everything.” 
“Oh.” What had you expected when you kissed her? “Oh, Leah.” 
“You don’t have to apologise.” She assigns your guilt, the tears in your eyes, to your distance. Perhaps you hadn’t realised, perhaps it is a coincidence Leah has never slept in the bed you used to share with Alexia. Maybe you are unaware that Leah has never heard you speak Spanish, and doesn’t know a single thing about your life in Barcelona. 
You’re a busy person, after all. 
“No, no,” you dismiss quickly, shaking your head. Leah can’t help but wonder if the paranoid voice in her head is right; has she been reading too much into this? “Fuck, I am such a twat.” 
But you don’t elaborate further, asking how she’s feeling, distracting her from your realisation about her realisation. Before Leah knows it, you are making her laugh harder than she has in a month, and soon, like most good things, your visit comes to an end. 
Returning to Barcelona is a little weird. 
You feel as though you have done nothing but check over your shoulder the entire journey, staring the past straight in the eye and wishing you could change it. 
You hadn’t meant to make her fall in love with you. (But she has. Oh, she has.) 
This week’s swap is no different; the same park as usual, the same pleasant weather to undergo an unpleasant task. 
On the bench usually occupied by Olga, a different, blonder head comes into view. 
“Irene?” you ask in surprise, wondering if she has been sent in Olga’s stead or just so happens to have brought Mateo, her son, to the very same park. You sit down beside her, somewhat pleased to not see Alexia’s henchwoman today. “Where’s the free childcare?” 
The defender’s eyes narrow, as though she is debating whether or not she should tell you. 
Irene has known Alexia for a long time, and, by extension, has known you for a long time too. She is calm, level-headed, and mature, much like Alexia. Except Irene hasn’t ever thought to cheat on her wife. 
You are clearly in a lot of pain, and you have a right to be; Irene does not rise to your comment. “Olga has gone on holiday,” she states with practised neutrality. 
“Ah, they’ve broken up.” 
Eyebrows raised, she turns to you, breaking her line of sight that encompasses Nico, Mateo, and Elena. The playground is small enough, and very safe. “They were never together.” You wait patiently for her analysis of whatever the fuck was going on between them. “Olga said she wasn’t what Alexia needed. She’s on holiday with Carla, and I guess she is quite upset.” 
“And Alexia?” You know Irene does not like to gossip, nor stir the pot. So you can be nosy about how she is doing. 
“I think her ego was bruised, but she sees Olga’s point. She has been… better recently. She’s focused on getting back onto the pitch, and Jona is only saying good things about it.” Irene’s eyes brighten at the thought of her captain’s recovery, and her tone soars through the air. The entire team has worried for Alexia, spending their own nights tossing and turning, wondering if the old version of her will ever return. “I know you two don’t speak, but if you did, you’d get a glimpse of what it was like before.”
You can’t help your smile, and Irene does not make you feel pathetic for wearing it. “Good.” 
“I heard you were in London?” 
“Visiting a… friend.” Irene is not a gossip, you remind yourself. “I think I might have to stay in this country for a bit and let things cool down over there.” 
She chuckles. “Whose heart have you broken?” She won’t tell Alexia, when Alexia inevitably asks about you, that you are seeing someone. Not that you have confirmed that to her. 
“I’m yet to break it,” you tell her, sighing, “but I know I will, and that is much, much worse.”
“Hey, at least you have two weeks of being endlessly busy to keep your mind off it.”
Children change a lot in two weeks, so Irene then launches into an update on school, clubs, and everything else. She gets the information from Alexia, of course, who writes out a list every time you switch over. No one has ever handed you the piece of paper before, worried that her handwriting will be an unnecessary reminder of the pain she has caused you, but, for some reason, Irene does today.
You are not put off by the swirling Spanish in front of you, instead choosing to study it. You have spent hours in Alexia’s lap as she scrawls out football notes upon football notes, scribbling prompted by footage or, freakishly, her own memory. From the lightness of the indentations of the pen, you figure that Alexia is exhausted. From the half-finished sentences, you decide that she was rushing when she wrote this. 
But, as much as you delight in your brief analysis of the evidence in your palms like Sherlock Holmes solving a mystery, you can’t ignore just how greatly you have missed the letters that swim between the lines (and the hand from which they were written). 
Irene spares you your dignity by standing from the bench and checking on the children just as your tears begin to fall. 
You take one last look in the mirror embedded in the sun visor, ensuring your hair is perfectly in place and your earrings match your cream, sleeveless turtleneck to poise you just between casual and smartly-dressed. A quiet grumble from the backseat draws your attention away from your reflection, though your last glimpse at your concealed eyebags and red-rimmed irises leaves you feeling a little dejected and mourning the days you’d actually get some sleep. (Or wouldn’t, smoking cigarettes on the balcony while talking Alexia’s ear off.) 
“Mama, we go,” decides Elena with a huff, tugging on the buckle of her car seat. 
It’s Nico’s first-ever recital tonight. 
He started playing the piano in September, when his teacher at school had mentioned how he boasted to the children in his class that he was a musician: ‘if I am Catalan because my mami is Catalan, then I am musician because my mami is musician’. You felt guilty. His teacher says he is naturally talented, voice lacking surprise but praiseful nonetheless, and is proud to name Nico his youngest student at tonight’s show. 
The bouquet of daisies you ask Elena to hold makes her look like a miniature carnival float, and she toddles into the venue by your side while you do mental gymnastics between the knowledge that Alexia will be here tonight and the nerves for your son’s performance. It’s nothing complicated, but you worry he will hate it. This is the only thing he does that is a nod towards you; his one deviation from his worship of Alexia. 
“Mami!” squeals the walking flowers as soon as you make it to the half-full hall. You direct your gaze to the three rows your daughter refers to, every seat lined with either professional footballers or family. With a sudden rush of blood to your head, you feel out of your depth.
You’re not sure whether the hazel eyes that find yours help or worsen that. 
“Keep it moving,” you mutter firmly, holding her hand so she does not make a break for it and tumble right over to the cohort of FC Barcelona and Seguras. Not wanting to get too close to them, you take your seat in the penultimate row, knowing Nico will not be able to see you over the grand piano set up on the stage wherever you sit. “You can talk to her later, sweetheart.” 
She is in an obedient mood, most-likely intimidated by the tension in the air. You tell yourself it’s the stress radiating from the line of performers sitting on the front row. Nico stands on his chair, waving first to Alexia and then to you (it’s your turn with them so you are a lot less exciting right now), before he is lightly scolded by his teacher and the first child walks up the steps and onto the stage. 
Five uninspiring children later, Nico is finally led up onto the stage. His teacher sits down on the piano stool and nudges him forwards. He smiles brightly at the room. You reciprocate, encouraging Elena to do the same to keep her engaged with an admittedly boring event. 
“Bona nit a tothom! Jo sóc en Nicolau i tinc quatre anys i ara aniré a tocar ‘Brillia Brillia Estel Petit’.” The audience melts before him. “Mama, that means ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’,” he whispers loudly. 
You send him a thumbs up. He sends you a grin back, before giggling as he climbs onto the piano stool beside his teacher. 
Situated comfortably, feet dangling adorably far away from the pedals, his chubby, little fingers hit the ivory keys once, then twice. 
You pray this goes well. 
It does. 
He plays with two hands, something you hadn’t expected, and Elena holds in her noisy yawn until after he is finished so she must have been invested in the performance. Your own hands sting after you clap with such prideful force that you are the loudest in the room, and the hoots and hollers from Alexia’s territory only make Nico even happier as he bounces down the steps and back to his seat to wait for the others to do their pieces. 
After the recital has finished, you walk down the aisle separating the seats in half to get to Nico, daughter-less courtesy of a squadron of football-playing kidnappers. 
“How was that?” you ask him smugly, his arms wrapping around you in a tight hug. “I knew you would be brilliant, even when you were scared you weren’t going to be. Do you know how proud I am of you?” 
“This much?” He holds his hand about thirty centimetres apart. “Mami says this much.” 
When he widens his hands, you gesture something even bigger. 
“‘Immensely’ is the word I would use.” 
“Im-men-lee?” 
“Es que nuestro orgullo llena una casa sin techo. Hasta el cielo.” 
“Up to the sun,” you amend, ignoring the way the voice has made you stiffen. You don’t read too much into her misuse of the collective pronoun. There is no ‘our’ in ‘affair’.
Alexia’s hand hovers by your waist for a moment, muscle memory getting the better of her before she draws it back into her body. Nico gives her a matching hug, telling her how much he has missed her. 
You try not to blame yourself for his derailed childhood. 
“You were amazing, petit,” Alexia says, picking him up with one strong arm and settling him on her hip. You grip the wrapper of the bouquet you are holding. “Did Mama get you a gift?” 
He peers at the daisies in your hand with curiosity. Shaking his head, his confusion deepens as he studies the bouquet you are extending towards him. “They are for Mami? Flowers are for love.” 
“I love you,” you tell him, not trying to make a point but instinctively prickling in the presence of Alexia.
The silence is awkward. 
A few metres away, whilst entertaining the sleepy toddler on her lap, Mapi is excitedly talking to Alba. “Y/n hasn’t killed her yet,” says the defender with glee, one of your admirers. The team respected you before, never questioning their captain’s judgement nor family, but when word got out about the affair amongst the older girls, most of them began to see you as more than Alexia’s wife. A new layer to your character was revealed; you are a strong, independent, and successful woman. Football nerds sometimes forget success comes in more forms than blaugrana kits. “They made such a beautiful couple.” 
“They did.” Alba watches as you talk to your son, your eyes actively avoiding the woman in front of you. “Our mother has sent Alexia over there to invite her to dinner. It killed me to see her sit alone.” 
You are too used to the feeling of eyes on you that you no longer notice the weight of people’s stares, but, if this were not the case, you would know that most of the heads attached to the bodies sitting in Alexia’s rows had been swivelled towards you for majority of the recital. Pity is never a desired emotion to have offered to you, but the Barça girls can’t help but feel that way whenever they see your forehead crinkle in an attempt to understand Catalan, presuming you only speak Spanish as you have more than enough on your plate. (And, as most of the players will admit, your children speak better English than them, so one can only assume that it is your main method of communication.)
“She’s a very good mother,” Mapi comments with a small nod, sucking a sharp breath in as she begins to sympathise with you even more. Not a day goes by where she witnesses the suffering Alexia’s idiocracy has caused – as Ingrid, her girlfriend, knows very well – and does not fail to scream in frustration about her best friend’s stupid mistakes.
“She’s a very good person.” 
They fall silent as they see your head tilt up, jaw clenching as Alexia begins to speak to you. 
“Can you hear what she’s saying?” whispers Eli to her daughter, equally invested in the conversation. “I knew I should have sent you; Alex is too socially awkward.” 
“Mami, she is talking to her wife,” replies Alba, though she remembers what happened the last time Alexia and you had spoken and the outcome of that. Maybe that commences her increasing agreement with her mother… “I guess you– Are they coming over here?!” 
Even you seem surprised by how your legs carry you towards the Barcelona clan, a step behind Alexia and Nico. Hesitant would be an understatement, but most of them are too preoccupied with congratulating the four-year-old they have come to watch to notice your tight-lipped smile and trembling hands. 
“Hola,” you say shyly. 
Eli pulls you into her strong embrace without missing a beat. “Te he echado de menos, hija.” 
You try very hard not to burst into tears. 
They take you to dinner; a plan you had known about but not envisioned yourself included in. Although it’s your fortnight, Alexia (through the conduit of Alba) had previously arranged to drop Nico and Elena over to yours before midnight. 
You blow off your FaceTime call with Leah.
The restaurant is on the lower level of fine-dining. It’s chic, but it does not make your children feel unwelcome. The table is set for five places, though Alba informs you that the reason for this is because the reservation was made before she broke up with her girlfriend. 
“Mama, what are you going to eat?” asks Nico, slipping back into his old life seamlessly, mixing his English with the Spanish he knows everyone can understand, his legs swinging underneath the table with an enthusiastic energy. He is still too young to pick up on how far apart his parents are sitting, or how you refuse to let your eyes linger on Alexia’s tanned skin, far too much of it shown off by the tank top she sports in the humidity of the busy restaurant. 
You glance around the room, searching for those who have recognised you. Under the weight of at least four curious stares, you motivate yourself to enjoy your meal. 
“Not sure yet, babe,” you answer. “Alba, do you fancy sharing something?”
“Yeah, of course.” The younger Putellas smiles. Alexia knows who has lost the war.
Dinner passes with light conversation centred on very neutral topics. No man’s land is clearly the children, and you had never expected to be so desperate to continue a conversation about school lunches until the other options are how Alexia had an affair with her teammate or that your song with her favourite singer is topping the charts and explicitly about being cheated on. 
Although you and Alexia both watch how many times your wine glasses are refilled, Alba lets loose, as does Eli (probably to ease the stress on her heart that her girls force upon her). Their cheeks redden and Nico begins to yawn, Elena already curled into your side halfway between dreams and reality. 
“Should we head out?” you ask it to the table, but the only functioning person is Alexia, really, and so you close your eyes to avoid having to make eye contact. 
“I should probably get Mama and Alba into a taxi.” 
“If you call one for them, I will call one for us?” Your suggestion is instinctive; an old habit reminiscent of many similar nights, back when there was love and happiness and a relationship that didn’t feel like walking on a floor made of broken glass. “Or did you drive here?” 
“No, but you drove,” comes Alexia’s reminder. Internally, you face-palm. Parking the car before dinner seems like years ago; something feels different now. “But if you don’t feel up to it, I could drive you home. I haven’t had much to drink and I have nothing else planned for tonight. Elena is practically in a coma anyway.” 
You laugh – a softened version of it so as to not rouse the dead weight of your daughter. 
“Are you sure?” 
It’s late.
“Yes, I’m sure.” 
I don’t care. 
“Mama,” Alba slurs, pulling her mother in close. “The saint has given her sinner a second chance.” 
It may not be as quiet as she thinks it is. Alexia, occupied, is deaf to the comment. You are not.
This is not a second chance. 
This is a lift home. 
The last time all four of you sat in a car together was the day you found out about Alexia’s affair. 
You had suffered then – are still suffering now – but your anger was hot and sharp and new. Fresh wounds. 
Now, though more scabbed-over than healed, those wounds no longer seem to gush blood; you entertain Alexia’s stiff small-talk. 
She asks about the tour, never veering too far off the road of practicality and shared custody. When does it resume? Which has been your favourite show? 
“Wembley is like playing El Clásico in Camp Nou,” she determines, not needing to ask about that because she knows you too well. 
Your memories of the London shows involve a naked Leah Williamson. (If only she knew that!) 
“Yeah, London was great.”
Awkwardness is part of Alexia’s personality; something you are fairly certain you still love. She is shy, though it perhaps comes off as stoicity, and she has never been good at making conversation. You know she hates it, and you know that her eyes, Alexia’s eyes, are gazing at you every time she thinks you are not looking. 
She is weary about the desire darkening her pupils, but she does not do well to hide her hunger nonetheless. 
“Go into the carpark,” you instruct as you approach your building.
Wordlessly, she presses the correct pin into the pin-pad, never having forgotten it. 
She parks the car beside a new-looking Mercedes. It’s not a car for children, and she imagines it reeks of cigarettes – there is no way you have stopped smoking. 
It belongs in the carpark; in your little world of celebrities and male footballers; of money and fame and fortune. (One could argue you lack the latter, what with your current situation.) Alexia’s life has never moulded with yours. 
Perhaps it never will. 
Perhaps she slept with Jenni because they are equals, you think. Because Jenni understands Alexia in a way you cannot. 
“Mami,” cries a quiet voice from the backseat. You stop staring at the grey, concrete walls, snapping back to reality as Alexia shifts to turn her attention to the source of the whimpering. “No quiero que te vayas.” 
“Lela, me tengo que ir.” 
“Pero–” 
“You could always come up to say goodnight to them?” 
It starts off innocently. 
Of course it does. Of course you are nowhere near forgiveness, more likely to forget about the crushing affair before you excuse any of her actions. Sometimes, you wish for amnesia. Sometimes, you refer to the tab open in Safari – ‘is there a drug that makes you forget?’. 
Alexia is granted a tuck-in and a story for each child, glad that their rooms are separate so that her time in her home is prolonged. The walls are familiar, the floor is the same. There are new pictures in new frames, but the old ones have not been removed. If you had ever wished to take photographs of your relationship down, you have never acted on it. 
She realises you must not spend a lot of time here alone. Maybe you cannot bear it. Maybe your life in London is more important to you than she had thought. 
Anyway, for as much as she subtly noses around and draws out the night, she has no intention of overstaying her welcome, sure that she probably did that the minute she stepped inside. 
In fact, she is on her way out, under the assumption that you will not want to speak to her.
“So you’re back to playing?” 
“Sí.” 
A doorway conversation. 
You’re English. You’re very polite. Alexia knows this, tries to not get her hopes up. 
“Does that mean you don’t want a taste of this ‘97?” You hold the bottle up to her, the cork lying on the granite worktop with the incriminating suggestion that you have already had a glass. 
“We play the day after tomorrow.” 
“Oh, Ale, this is a good one.” 
How many times have you said that to her before? The same tone, the same look in your eye; red tinting your lips, one hand on a lighter because you smoke when you’re drunk, even if you refuse to touch the cancer-sticks when you are sober. 
“Was this a gift?” she asks, drawn into your magnetic field like a flimsy paper clip; thin, worn metal trying to piece the pages of her life back together. “Or have you been making ridiculous purchases again?” 
“I can assure you that it is not ‘ridiculous’.” You moan in delight as you take a sip from a glass you subsequently hand over to her. “Gosh, that is divine, and you are simply going to dissolve when you taste it.” 
Dissolve she does, but one can attribute that to the company. 
The contents of the bottle dwindles quickly, paired with a vulnerable retelling of her ACL recovery (sans suicidal thoughts and huge, huge regret about the affair – she doesn’t want to bring that up, seeing as you are clearly trying to forget about it), and the warm breeze of the Barcelona nighttime. The salty air from the mediterranean mingles with cigarette smoke, though Alexia softly says that you really should stop. 
You hesitate on your next puff, but you inhale it all the same. “I like my wine smokey.” 
She opens the next bottle for you. 
The wine glasses are soon discarded, pouring becoming shaky and difficult. 
“They sleep all the way through the night here,” observes Alexia, surprised that no little hands have knocked on the glass door leading to the balcony. The last time you had reached for the wine, you’d moved closer to her. You have not yet returned to your original seat on the other side of the rattan sofa. 
You raise your eyebrows, under the impression that they were both sleep trained. “They don’t at yours?” 
“Elena keeps trying to sleep in bed with me.” 
“Maybe she likes you more,” you suggest with a light, alcohol-infused laugh. “She must have been upset to find her place filled by your friend.” 
“No,” murmurs Alexia, “it has never been filled. Though I don’t think you can say the same.” 
You swallow the stickiness of the wine running down your throat.
“Not in our bed. My bed.” You fight yourself. “Our bed.” 
“In Highgate?” 
“Anywhere,” you breathe. 
“It’s been months,” croaks Alexia, your hand pressed against her stomach as you slowly lean into the feeling only she can give you. “Months.” 
You kiss her. Time folds in on itself, and you are transported back to when every touch was electric; when nothing was tainted. The pain of the past months, the heartbreak, momentarily fades into insignificance as you lose yourself in Alexia’s warmth.
Her fingers tangle in your hair, pulling you closer, afraid that this moment might slip away too soon. The taste of wine lingers on your lips, and she craves the softness of them – she has been craving them since July.
“Well, now it has only been seconds,” you whisper as you pull away. 
With a sense of urgency, she chases your mouth once more, strong arms pulling you on top of her, manipulating your body against her with no hint of uncertainty. 
Alexia knows you well.
Her touch lacks curiosity and exploration. Her hands are experienced and confident in their movements, and she has hoisted you up and brought you to your bedroom without needing to have been told that this is what you want. 
“Is this what you want?” she asks anyway. 
“Please.” 
And she really doesn’t make you beg. 
Your hands roam her body with a primal hunger, instinctive touches to the most sensitive parts of her, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Her back is tense, muscles flexing as she pushes your clothes off your skin, her own following their path soon after. 
Parted legs and soft moans. 
She slots herself between your thighs. 
Her tongue is determined, fierce. Sloppier because she is drunk, but, then again, so are you. 
Your fingers repay the favour. 
“More,” you request just as she pulls away. 
“Is it in the same place?” 
You nod, panting.
There is a playful glint in Alexia’s eyes as she finds the strap just where she left it. As she secures it in place, you wipe the sweat from your brow, forcing your mind into the dirtiest of thoughts to ward off the building regret.
The room is dimly lit, and the air heavy with desire. Your heartbeat pulses in the silence, the thrum of the organ drums that guide Alexia’s slow, deliberate steps back towards the bed, kneeling atop the scrunched sheets. 
She positions herself between your legs once more, and you can feel the heat of her body radiating against your skin. She leans in closer, her breath hot against your neck, sending shivers of anticipation shuddering down your spine. 
With trembling hands, you reach out, nails digging into tanned, taut skin. You pull her closer to you, urging her to take whatever she wants. 
You want her to have you. You want her to make it hurt less. 
As Alexia presses inside, a jolt of pleasure courses through your body. You cry out, the sound igniting a blazing inferno within her that grows hotter the moment you ask her to move. Feverishly, her hands move over your chest, finding purchase on your breasts with a dormant possessiveness as her hips begin to drive the strap in deeper. 
Your breath hitches in your throat as you surrender to the overwhelming sensation, encompassed by someone so divine that you begin to separate yourself from all things wrong with this situation. The headboard thuds against the bedroom wall as she pounds her thrusts into a rhythm, and you shut your eyes as you quietly ask her to kiss you.
Tears cascade down your cheeks, but you do not know to whom they belong. Her tongue smothers your moans, and her hips begin to snap into yours more urgently, with more desperation. The pressure builds inside of you, and you feel as though you might explode. 
You feel as though this is the end, and you are glad that here is where your misery terminates. 
You’re glad, you’re really glad. 
Your back arches, your chests pressing together, large hands holding you close to her. 
And then it all comes crashing down. 
Everything. 
You wipe your eyes once the orgasmic bliss subsides, seizing your wine haze as the tide goes out and destroying the blindfold that had deprived you of seeing things straight. Right now, with the pleasant ache between your legs, you can’t quite bring yourself to regret it, but you know you will. You haven’t forgiven her; you’re not sure that it is possible. 
“You can shower, but you can’t stay here.” 
Nico knows that he is special. He is lucky, and he is loved, and he gets to go to a very nice school that Mateo (his ‘cousin’) claims is fancy. 
He likes his teacher. She reminds him of someone he once knew – you have suggested the nursery helpers back when he lived in London. He is not sure if you are right, but he doesn’t remember what London was like so he tries not to think too hard about it. 
Nico’s friends, like Pau who is sitting beside him, all think it is really cool that he can speak English. Pau says she hears his mother on the radio sometimes, but Nico hasn’t yet grasped the concept of fame past the annoying camera flashes and big, sold-out stadiums. He dislikes fame as he knows it, anyway, because the cameras hurt his eyes and the stadiums are so loud that he has to wear ear-defenders that squeeze his skull a bit too much. 
“My mum is from Bilbao. My dad is from Barcelona,” states Paula as she swipes a crayon over the sheet of paper her drawing is on. Green wax slowly stains the white to form ‘grass’. Everyone is drawing their family today, although Nico hasn’t yet started, waiting for his teacher to circle their table so that he can ask for another piece of paper. “And this,” Paula carries on, squiggling brown hair onto a smaller version of the stick-figure father, “is Ander, my big brother.” 
“Who is that?” Nico asks, pointing at the fifth figure on the page, guessing that the fourth and Pau-sized person is, in fact, Pau. 
“My sister! She’s called Nerea, and she plays basketball.” Pau promptly makes an orange circle the size of Nerea’s head, which floats in the air between her and her sister. “My mum says Nere is going to be a lesbian, but I don’t know what that means.” 
“My mums are lesbian!” he blurts out, excited enough to garner the attention of his teacher. When she appears, he grins at her sweetly; the kind of smile that has melted many hearts, though Nico is unaware of how many people know he exists. “More paper, please.” 
“Nico, you haven’t even tried with your first one.”
She isn’t harsh at all, but he has slowly learnt to stop asking follow-up questions. Six months of exasperated ‘I don’t know, Nicolau’s has taught him that. 
He shrugs. “Okay.”
He learnt what a shrug was the other day, when Mapi told him off for doing it to her. (“Don’t shrug your shoulders at me, Nicolau Putellas!” she had chided playfully. “All I asked was which of your mamas’ houses we need to go to.”)
“Nico, what’s ‘lesbian’?” 
“Mama says football is lesbian. Basketball might be lesbian! That’s why your sister is lesbian.” 
“My mum says that lesbians kiss girls.” 
“Mama kisses girls! And Mami. And they used to kiss each other but now they don’t speak and me and my sister swap houses.” Nico begins drawing it out for Paula when she peers at him, befuddled. “Here is Mama’s.” A big square, a glamorous-looking woman inside of the blue shape; a stick with a circle on the end of it; the notes he sees in his piano music floating in the air. “And…” he says, tongue sticking out as he concentrates on the opposite half of the page, “here is Mami’s.” 
He draws a football. He picks up the red crayon too, and uses both the blau and the grana simultaneously. “Mami plays football for Barça.” He draws two lines on Alexia’s t-shirt. 11. “Mami made me get 11 at football.” Nico had originally worn the 10, but then the affair had come to light and Alexia was suddenly deep in conversation with his coach and apologising to the boy Nico then had to swap shirts with. 
Then, he drops the crayons in his hand and searches for the stack near Paula. He selects the purple one, gripping it tightly, his friend still listening to him with intrigue. 
“This is me and Lela.” Two stick figures are drawn in the middle of the page; the middle ground between each of the squares. 
Nico sometimes feels stuck between it all. 
When Mami got very sad, he and Elena went to stay with Mapi and Ingrid for a few nights. He held his little sister’s hand as much as he could. He always tries to remind her that he is right there with her. 
Mami once told him that it was his turn to protect Elena. Nico hasn’t forgotten that. 
“I keep Lela safe.” He has encouraged her, slightly selfishly, to call him ‘skipper’, which he has picked up from the Lionesses. Luckily, Alexia has not told him off for it because she doesn’t know what it means. “Lela is my little sister. She is a baby. She doesn’t remember what it was like when Mama and Mami loved each other, but I do.” 
The purple crayon scrapes on the page as he presses it into the white, colour rubbing out in the shape of a heart. “Lela and I are together tot el temps. Mami tries to take me from her sometimes, but I don’t let her.” 
His story – and ability to make Paula pay attention for longer than ten seconds – has already attracted the quiet attention of his teacher, but she moves closer as Nico continues. The four-year-old leaves out how Alexia is usually inviting him to training with her. Since Elena has yet to show any interest in football, it remains her and Nico’s special thing, and, of course, his mother misses him when it is not her turn. 
You benevolently give your permission if you have no prior plans. It is upsetting that the only hindrance to extra time spent together is the little boy who once worshipped Alexia Putellas like a god. 
“Nico, why did you want two pages?” asks Paula curiously, assuming he is finished now that his whole family is displayed on the piece of paper. 
He frowns. “Because now I have to do this.” And with that, he tears the sheet in half. 
Paula’s mouth drops open in surprise, as does his teacher’s. 
“What’s wrong?” comes a mature voice, a hand placed on his shoulder just like it is when the other children in his class cry. Nico doesn’t cry. He is strong and brave, like a little soldier. “Did you not like your drawing?” 
“No,” he replies neutrally, “half can live with Mama, and half can live with Mami.” 
“But now you are ripped down the middle.” 
He traces the jagged edges of the halves of his life. One of his legs is on your side, the other on Alexia’s. 
“I know, but it’s okay. I don’t cry.” 
Alexia does, though, when his teacher talks to her that afternoon. 
“I slept with Alexia,” you confess quietly, comforted by the sound-proofing of Anya’s home-studio. She asked for help with her album; your success might be contagious, she insists. “Last week, when Nico had that recital.” You clutch your mug protectively, as if she will strip you of the right to drink your tea to punish you for your crime. 
Anya is unsure what you would like her to say. You search her face for anger, but do not find it. 
“If Gio were here, she’d probably slap you.” 
You snort, almost spilling hot liquid all over yourself. “You two are like my mothers, and you’re the nicer one by far.” 
“God, you are such an idiot.” 
“And a slag.” She waits for your next admission with excitement. “I also slept with Leah Williamson.” 
“Do you think you and Alexia are just destined for polyamory?” Her amusement is quite pleasant, but one thing wasn’t dulled by the wine that night and you have been dying to tell someone about it.
Your knee bounces up and down as you gear up for it, having thought it through 
“I think we are destined for each other.” 
Song-writing be damned, Anya fully removes her headphones, placing the equipment beside her keyboard before letting out a small, exasperated laugh. “You are in love with Alexia again,” comes her accusation, with no real malice behind it. 
“I never stopped being in love with Alexia. She just made it a lot harder to love her.” 
Is that an understatement? 
“Hey,” you say with sudden energy, sitting upright and grasping at your phone, tea wobbling over the lip of the mug and running down your wrist. “Should we go to Bali in August?” 
You avoid both of your footballers right until the World Cup camps roll around. 
Leah doesn’t get to go, subjected to the ACL curse. Alexia’s call-up is not necessarily unexpected, but you do find yourself wondering how many more betrayals her friendship with Mapi León can handle. (Mapi is on her last straw, but she knows her friend really needed the win after her hellish year. The Champion’s League was never going to sate Alexia’s hunger to be the best at football – possibly an overcompensation for her terrible relationship skills.)
Your children, this time, are delivered to the park by their very own mother. Alexia beats Leah in this sense, because she has a valid excuse to see you without confessing feelings you do not want to hear. 
“I have something for you,” she says just after she has finished her goodbyes, pressing a small box into your hands. Her voice is filled with nerves and you are intrigued, hating yourself for being so. “Don’t open it until you get back home.” Her eyes meet yours for a moment. I’m sorry, they seem to say. “Alright, have fun in Bali, and don’t forget that I legally have custody but I am not going to go to court to battle you for it as long as you put them in Spain kits for Spain matches.” 
She could, if she wanted to be difficult, have you send Nico and Elena to New Zealand during her weeks. It would be very unreasonable, but the contract your lawyers drew up still stands. 
“They were delivered yesterday. I think it’s going to be a struggle to convince them to put on the worst kit ever.” You still don’t forgive Alexia for cheating on you, but there has come a point where acceptance replaces the animosity. Nico’s teacher has been the catalyst in this step forward. The developmental pamphlets she had thrust in your faces were enough for the two of you to come to a mutual agreement of increased civility (that maybe, maybe was only made possible by the fact that you have very recent memories of each other’s orgasms). “But, yes, I agree to your terms. Don’t forget that his favourite player is Alessia Russo, however.” 
“He is in a phase where I am ‘uncool’! It’ll pass.” 
“If you say so, Alexia.” 
“Anyway,” she carries on, rolling her eyes. “Open it when you get home.” She… presses a kiss to your cheek? “I’m so sorry, mi amor.” 
You blink back your surprise, but she is gone before you can reply. 
The small, neatly-wrapped box sits in the palm of your hand, the corners edging off your skin and sticking out as you stare at it. Nico and Elena continue their (unsupervised) playing, but you manage to call out a warning for ‘five more minutes and then we’ve got to pack’ while you examine Alexia’s gift.
Is this how Pandora felt? 
If you open it, what will be unleashed?
Alexia, before now, hasn’t actively pursued your forgiveness. She has given you the time and the space you had broken-heartedly requested, nodding as you communicated your wishes to her through someone else, never before able to confront the face that tore up your life before your eyes. 
There was a time when all you ever wanted to do was talk to her, but she tried to forget about that when she realised the extent at which you went to avoid an interaction. When she had understood your desperation to be left alone fully, she began to breathe. The step backwards gave her room to examine just how royally she had fucked it all. 
She now feels a bit more capable of tackling the clean-up, working with a much clearer mind. Everyone is relieved that she hasn’t killed herself, or, at least, that she is keeping those thoughts at bay. 
You realise that she has bought you a ring, and regardless of whether you wear it or not, she wants to tell you that she is sorry.
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IT'S NOT OVER YET! THIS WILL TAKE YOU TO THE SECOND HALF
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