#and it hurts so bad. it hurts so bad i want to cry just thinking about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miharuki · 2 days

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𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖁𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖃 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 (𝕱𝖊𝖒) 2

You woke up with a headache, feeling your head throb painfully. For a moment, you really thought you were in your real-life home until you looked up and saw the bed canopy, adorned with fine, luxurious fabrics. A typical bed of ancient nobility, you couldn't even sit up without your head pounding from the pain. Who would have thought that crying so much could make you feel this bad?

In pain, you turned, now looking out of the bed. For a moment, you began to notice that the furnishings in the room were more refined, even though they were of a different color. You started to think that this room wasn't, in fact, yours. Looking at the door, you noticed the luxurious details that accompanied it, making you realize that you were neither in your real-life bedroom nor in your noble bedroom in this world.

You started to think a lot, which made your head hurt even more. But you finally managed to understand what happened last night and how you agreed to go with the young man. Now, finally turning to look at the ceiling, you sighed, knowing you were probably not in extreme danger and that being kidnapped was off the list since you had agreed to the situation.

Placing your hands on your face, you thought about the situation at the ball, now considering how your family in this world would probably disown you. What initially seemed like a simple matter turned out to be much worse. In this world, being disowned didn't just mean being removed from the family's inheritance; it meant being officially regarded as not part of the family at all. It was as if they erased you not only from their will but also from their lives. In more extreme cases, it could even mean being expelled from the house.

"Are you alright? You were quite warm last night; you had a fever," said a familiar voice. Turning, you confirmed it was the same young man from yesterday.

Forcing your aching body, you managed to sit up in bed, placing a hand on your forehead as the dizziness from the headache set in. "Yes, it's nothing serious. I apologize for my manners," you said. It was evident that simply lying in a bed that wasn't yours while the host stood by was considered almost impolite in this world.

"Liar… please, miss, don't push yourself too hard. You still seem unwell," the young man said, his voice calm and concerned. If you could look now, you would see the care and worry in his eyes.

"I've been sick many times before," you found yourself thinking, almost mocking your own situation. The boy seemed to sense your sadness and silence. He raised his hand and gently placed it on your shoulder.

He had already felt he was violating your space by touching you the night before, but the pain of seeing your sick body had pushed that feeling aside. Now, with you safe, he felt he needed your permission, but he couldn't help trying to comfort you, the same person who seemed broken and exhausted when he brought you here.

"Forgive me… you went to the trouble of bringing me to your home because of my actions. This is not appropriate behavior for a girl like me. I apologize profusely for invading your residence like this," you said, lowering your hands to your lap and bowing your head in a formal gesture of apology, even while lying in bed.

Nomura noticed that you referred to yourself merely as a girl, not as a lady, which would have been more appropriate. He understood that what happened yesterday had deeply wounded you, so much so that you began to see yourself as inferior, no longer worthy of being called a lady.

His free hand clenched into a fist as he thought about the castle and the ball from last night. He knew who was responsible for this, and he couldn't help but feel anger. At that moment, all he wanted was to drive a sword through the heart of the crown prince, the first prince, and especially his former best friend.

"Please do not apologize, miss. The events of last night were not your fault, and bringing you to my residence was my decision. I had every right to do so, especially when I saw you in such a vulnerable state," he said in a sweet and gentle tone. You turned your head to look at him, observing those kind eyes that looked at you as they had last night. But just making that movement caused your head to throb again, and you placed a hand on your head, wincing in pain. This made him place his hands on your back, gently guiding you to lie down on the bed.

"Please, miss, you are not in the best condition. Lie down and rest. I will accept nothing but your rest," he insisted. With your eyes squeezed shut from the pain, you allowed yourself to lie back down, sighing as you felt his touch slowly fade away.

Nomura watched as you complied, stepping back slowly. He looked at you with sadness before leaving the room. As he walked down the corridor towards his office, he couldn't help but look at the floor, feeling nothing but anger. Calmly, he entered his office and closed the door behind him. His teeth clenched in fury, and only one thought filled his mind: "I want to kill him!" Finally, he sighed, running his hands through his hair before sitting in his chair and looking up at the ceiling.

"Even after countless times, or timelines, you remain the same Prince Luka."

"Miss? Your tea." An maid entered the room with a cart carrying a teapot and a white porcelain cup. She sat down on the bed, and you were beginning to feel a bit better. Before you could say anything, the maid delicately placed a tray on your lap and set the cup on it.

You pondered for a moment. You couldn't stay here forever, even if your parents had disowned you. Eventually, you would have to return home just to gather your belongings, assuming your country in this game had indeed expelled you. If so, you needed to plan where to stay, especially since the Diamond Wars were looming.

"But what stage of the game are we in now? I mean, why should I worry? She's the protagonist and a princess, not me. She can handle things on her own," you thought to yourself as you glanced down at your lap. Your head still ached, but it was less intense compared to when you first arrived at the lord's house.

"Miss?" the maid's voice called out, and you lifted your head to look at her. She was pointing to the cup of tea. "Your tea, if you don't drink it, it will get cold." You turned your head, picked up the cup, and murmured a thank you before taking a sip. Lowering the cup, you continued to stare down, then glanced back at your lap.

"If I may ask, do you know of a good area where there might be houses? Preferably in the countryside," you asked calmly, surprising the maid with the sudden question.

"With all due respect, ma'am, why do you ask?"

"I need to find a place before I'm kicked out of home all because the protagonist is a little princess with her harem on her side, not to mention they humiliated me and literally labeled me a liar in front of high-status people and people from other regions," you thought of saying, but bit your tongue and shook your head. "Forget about what I asked," you said, looking down at the empty cup in your hands.

A few minutes of silence passed before the maid carefully took the cup and bowed respectfully before leaving with the cart.

"It's what she said," the maid recounted the situation to the man in front of her, who could only look thoughtfully out the window. "Poor Lady," Nomura thought, watching from the window as the carriage took you back to your home.

"I apologize, my lord, but do you think Lady might be considering moving away?" The thought of you being away from him was making him nervous.

"I need you to deliver a letter for me…"

pt1

"I'll possibly do Part 3."

@aiimee9 @chlov @uhkaey @notleclerc @taylorazureeee @sassykitkat22 @zuumaa @mononlogue @party-9 @endaculi @heartless-tate @mel-vaz @poptrim @kitty-chan33 @surprisemodafakas @reni502 @slowlysweetnightmare @hotnbloodied @yandereoverlord @mel-star636 @aphrodit333 @hotvinimon @cupidsgift @bien-bonjour14 @l0v3rrl @heraxochi @yamekocatt @lovorette @acenby-weirdo @kisalovesoobin @wutap @ron000 @lazydelusionsimp @kthehoeforfictionalmen @forbidden-sunlight @bubbles2416 @rosegracewood09 @b2mmyy

@julietdelamare @snowlotr @kitkatmochi @happydeertraveler @lem-hhn @crazytacokoala @mitzukichan18 @hey-im-bored504 @resident-cryptid @thefbiiswatching @beardedblizzardexpert @mymemd @smilefortae @emperatris-rinaka

@pinkrose1422

#yandere childhood friend #yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere emperor #yandere vampire #yandere x darling #yandere prince #yandere villain #yandere prince x reader #yandere villain x reader #yandere boy x reader #yandere boy #yandere otome

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bunnis-monsters · 3 days

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i am so sorry but i’m on my period and rotting, i must speak these thoughts and i feel like you would understand.

vampire lover who comes a little unhinged when it’s your period. even when you’re ovulating, your scent just becomes sweeter and he is practically salivating. his sweet, sweet dear ripening for him to feast on.

when it’s finally that time and you’re in bed, squirming and uncomfortable from cramps he’ll climb between your thighs, big hands cupping the soft expanse of your lower tummy. “Poor baby, I know it hurts so bad. Can I help, please, my love?”

Vampire lover who buries his face between your plush thighs and indulges himself in you, nose buried into your plush pubic mound, lapping and licking like a man starved. every time you gush a mix of blood and your juices his eyes practically roll back. “My love you taste of ambrosia…how lucky am I? A man damned, fortunate enough to have the taste of the heavens upon my tongue.”

(is this too depraved…i am so sorry-)

OH LORD

And he’s just not able to stop. He stays between your thighs for hours, until your pussy is swollen and puffy.

All he wants is to make you feel better… he’s just happy that making you feel better tastes so good.

He does this every night before bed, says it’s to help you sleep. You’d think he’d fuck you since he’s usually horny after/while he drinks your blood… but he doesn’t. He just eats you out until you’re seeing stars then curls up with you in his arms.

I like to think the day your period stops, he’s very pouty. Although he’s glad you’re no longer in pain, he’s going to miss the intimacy of drinking “the blood of your uterus” as he calls it.

That night, he finally pins you down and takes your pussy, his actions far from gentle. He’s been holding back all week, going to bed with his bulge pressed against your plush ass every night.

He wanted to spend your first menstrual cycle with him pleasing you, showing you he cared, so he waited until you were better for sex… but the next one he would really let himself go and fuck you good.

That’s what you wanted, and he knew it. You cried and begged for him as he was eating your bleeding pussy out, wanting his cock, begging for him to give it to you.

As he finally filled you up, your vampire lover cooed and pulled out, curling up with you in his arms.

“I could spend eternity like this, my love… an eternity together with you…”

———————

NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @screaming-crying-screamingagain @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @j3llyphisching @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte

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foulphantomllama · 3 days

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My Secret Desire | AESPA Winter x Male Reader

I decided to post the new chapter today because I was supposed to post something else today. But as you can guess, I did not liked it enough to post it. So enjoy the new chapter!

4. The Package

She send me a pair of her underwear. With a little note on them saying “Make good use of them until i come back and get them.” And she drew a little emoji winking at the end.

But she wasn’t coming over. Neither to school nor my house. She was barely texting me. And when she does, she only makes me horny and disappear completely. I asked about her to one of her friends but they were in it too. I all got for a response was to wait. So I waited. After nearly a week and a half later, my door was knocking. It was her. I looked at the peekhole. I opened the door. She went straight in. Saying nothing. She took off her shoes and jumped to my bed. Getting ready to take a nap. I closed the door and started watching her. After a moment of silence I wanted to check on her. She was sleeping. She literally was gone for nearly two weeks and now she is back sleeping in my room.

But no. This was my time to act. I couldn’t just let her win every time. I sit beside her and woke her up. “What?” she asked me. Her attitude was making me angry. This attitude of her was the main reason I hate her as much as I love her. “What do you mean “What?”!” “You come into my house, crying. You’re not saying a single word. We fuck, you disappear for nearly two weeks. Than you sending me your panties. And after a few days later you appear on my doorstep and pretending none of this happened?” She looked at me. Holding her laugh. “Yes.” She said. Then burst into laughing.

I hold her arms. I mean, I hold them pretty tight. Her laugh was disappearing quickly. She realized that I’m really angry now. But she was not holding back either. “Come on big boy, what do you have in mind?”

I knew her intention. She wants sex again. But no. She needs to know that she does not always get what she wants from me. We fuck when I want to fuck. She grabbed my cock. But my cock was not hard this time. Because I was furious. “Come on, stop resisting. I know you want me.” She was thigtening her grab as she talks to me. I pushed her to the bed. “Okay, now we’re talking.” She said. But the following event was not someting that she would expect. I dressed up, took the keys and locked her inside my apartment. She has no other option to wait for me. My apartment was pretty high up so she couldn’t use the balcony to run away. But also, I had zero worries that she wants to escape. I was confident that she will wait for me. No matter how long I took to come back to my apartment.

I grabbed some ramen from my favourite store. It was just around the corner of my apartment. Then I rented a film from one of the stores that is not far from my apartment. Then I go to my apartment. Opened the door. There she was. Sitting on the toilet without closing the toilets door. “You should at least close the door.” I said to her. She rolled her eyes and answered. “You should be grateful that I did not pissed on to your carpet. You dick.” She was acting just like I imagined she would. “I am hungry. You did get something to eat, right?” I showed her the ramen I bought. “You’re the best boyfriend in the world.” Then she added. “Probably.” I asked her while I put the ramens on the kitchen counter. “What do you mean boyfriend?” She got up and came towards me. “Duh, dude you fucked me and cum into my throat. And I fucking swallowed it. What do you think we are? Study buddies?”

“So, you loved me from the beggining.” I asked. “Both.” She answered. “I fucking love you so much and I hate you so fucking much.” She also said. I can take that. “I love you because you’re the most precious person ever. I hate you because you’re too precious to be real. That you will gone to your own country an forgot about me.”

Her words hurt me a lot. But not in a bad way. I was hurt because I did not see it before. She was never bullying me. She just wanted my attention. Because she was thinking that I will leave her because she was not clever enough. What a bad way to think about yourself. And this was the exact reason I hated her to my guts. She was so hard to get along with. She was meaning the world to me. Yet, whenever I tried to show her this, she accused me by being delusional. Saying she is not enough for me or so. I may be too harsh to say I hated her just for this, trust me this kind of toxicity can kill. But my love for her was always getting the spotlight. It was the same for her too.

“I am so sorry If I ever hurt you with my words. I was never a bully. I just wanted your attention. And you weren’t giving me.” She hit me with your little fist as she talks. I hugged her. “No, I won’t be going anywhere. Not now at least.” She showed me her middle finger. And then she realized the film I rented. She took the dvd and started inspecting it. “I heard that this one is so shit.” She said. “It is pure shit.” I answered. Her response was hilarious, and expected. “Then why the fuck you rented this?” It turns out that this was just the way she communicates. Not exactly helping her with the social life but, kind of makes her hot and cute. Or I was just obsessed with her.

I prepared the ramen and we started eating. “Put the film on.” She said. I put the film on. In under ten minutes our meals were finished. She paused the film and said “Okay let’s agree on something.” I said go on. “If i get bored in the next ten minutes, we fuck. If I don’t we don’t fuck.” I was confused a little. “Why do I get punished for choosing I film that you probably like?” I asked. “Haha. That is how I work, honey.”

She watched that entire film. I can realize that she wasn’t really liked it. But she did it because she wanted to annoy me. But I wanted her. So I started to kiss her neck. “No hickeys.” She said. “My mother will fucking kill me.” Of course I was going to give her a hickey. “If you’re going to give me a hickey just do it on a place my mother wouldn’t be able to see.” She said. I took of her tshirt. I left a hickey on her left shoulder. “Your mother wouldn’t see that, I think.” I said. She mimics me. Then laughs. “You ruined the ending.” She said. “Come on! It was already shit how I could possibly ruined the ending.” I answered. She nodded.

“I’m just going to give you a blowjob, and get the hell out of here. I’m already late. I was gone to buy some rice. My mother still waiting me to bring rice.” She said. “I have an unopened package of rice. You can take it on your way out.” She gave me a thumbs up. Then took off my pyjamas. She was on her knees. She licked my cock over my underwear. Then she took of my underwear. Took my cock inside her mouth. Her mouth was so warm. And I already knew that she is very skilled when it comes to sucking cock. But she was too shy to make eye contact. I did not pushed her to her limits just yet. I just let her give me head peacefully, in her own terms. “Are you going to swallow it again?” I asked. She took it off from her mouth to answer me. “Well, i want to but you bought me a gigantic ramen. I don’t want to throw up the first meal you bought me.” She started sucking it again. I asked her to look into my eyes. She started to look up. She was looking so good with my cock in her mouth. I mean, she was probably the cutest girl I’ve ever seen. And she was my girlfriend.

“I’m going to swallow it.” She said. “Do not pull it out when you’re about to cum.” I pulled my cock out. “What makes you change your mind.” I asked her. “You forgot to buy me beverage. Can I please finish it and go???” “Okay, okay sorry.” I answered. “All yours.” She got faster and faster. Then I came into her mouth. First she showed me her mouth full of my cum. Then she swallowed it and showed me her empty mouth. I pull her closer to me and kissed her lips. “You just kissed your own cum.” She laughed. “But off your mouth.” I answered. “But it makes you gay.” She answered. I looked at her face laughing. “Okay, I’m going. Give me the rice.” I give her the rice I bought the other day. “Hey, mom! I just blowed my boyfriend and he give me a packet of rice.” She was laughing out loud while saying that. “At least you keep the money.” I said. “You’re so very right sir. Goodbye.” She saluted me and went out the door. I followed her. “No kiss goodbye?” She came closer, I was taller than her. She signalizes me to bow down. I did. She put her middle finger into my mouth. “Here’s your kiss.”

God I love her.

#aespa winter #winter #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #winter x male reader #winter x reader #chapter4

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theyluvkarolina · 9 hours

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𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍’ 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃

· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` And then I go and spoil it all, By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you" ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃?: Yes! (Part of 1K Event!)

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Being Max’s strategist is a experience you’d cherish forever. The constant laughter, friendly teasing, shared smiles after wins, is also something Max would never change. But in Max's case, he see’s nothing of this as simply friendly. But sometimes, words are best kept to oneself.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ Max Verstappen x Strategist!Fem!Reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ some photos of kelly get used but i blur out her face, rejection, ANGSTY 🥴🥴, a very slight song fic? (they are listening to it so not really a song fic)

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ So so sorry this took longer than expected! My schedule was not my bestie last week 😞 but i have a very special note for my pookie bear ash at the bottom 🫶🫶 (FOLLOW HER ON @maxtermind !! SHE HAS AMAZING WORKS)

1K EVENT MASTERLIST

2021

y/n_rbstrat ✔︎

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, danielricciardo, and others

y/n_rbstrat Max. Maxie. Max Emilian Verstappen ladies and gentlemen, your 2021 World Champion. I’m so lucky and proud to have been your strategist and I pray it’s this way for years to come. Seeing you grow along with me is something I’m forever grateful for. I love you so much, my best friend 🩷

tagged ; maxverstappen1, redbullracing

2,409 comments

username1 STOP THE MAX CELEBRATION POST :(

username2 what if i started crying rn

username3 “I love you so much, my best friend” hurt.

→ username4 NO BC WTF DO YOU MEAN FRIENDS??? Y/N HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE LOOKS AT YOU?? → username5 max is punching air.

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ couldn’t have done it without the best strategist ever ❤️

→ y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ and i couldn’t have done it with the best driver ever 😊 ❤️ → landonorris ✔︎ fucking hell just kiss already → username6 HELP LANDO → username7 bro had enough → landonorris ✔︎ trust me if you see these two all the time in person and refuse to acknowledge their feelings, you want it to be done with. → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ what are you talking about?? → landonorris ✔︎ you know. → username8 if they don’t get together i think i might throw myself off the highway → charles_lelerc ✔︎ “best strategist” huh?

username9 max and y/n hugging is my roman empire.

username10 we are all delusional for y/nstappen.

maxverstappen1 ✔︎

liked by y/n_rbstrat, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and others

maxverstappen1 truly unbelievable. i want to thank red bull, my family, friends, y/n, and everyone else for their support. 2021 World Champion 🏆 🎉

tagged ; y/n_rbstrat, redbullracing

5,305 comments

username11 Y/N GETTING HER OWN MENTION HAS MY HEART 😭

username12 if they don’t date i might cry

username13 the hug 😭 ❤️

username14 i feel so single rn

charles_leclerc ✔︎ congratulations! i hope you remember our deal 😉

→ landonorris ✔︎ why wasn’t I informed about this deal??? → georgerussel63 ✔︎ we all know you can’t keep a secret lando → alexalbon ✔︎ says the one that follows gossip accounts and asks us if we know stuff in the gc. → georgerussel63 ✔︎ im not as bad as charles and pierre… those two do it in public WITHOUT SHAME 😒 → pierregasly ✔︎ DONT DRAG ME INTO THIS → username15 HELLO WHAT IS ALL OF THIS?? → username16 NO BECAUSE I NEED TO BE PART OF THIS F1 GROUP CHAT 😭

y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ stop it max i’m going to cry!! im so proud of you! i would never trade my favorite driver for anything in the world ❤️🥹

→ danielricciardo ✔︎ favorite driver??? what the hell am i?? 🙄 → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ the side piece now that you left → danielricciardo ✔︎ uncalled for. → y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ be nice boys pls :( → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ yes ma’am → danielricciardo ✔︎ simp → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ i didn’t know being nice was me being a simp → danielricciardo ✔︎ mate, i saw you literally carrying all her things into the paddock?? you never did that for me → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ last time i checked she’s MY ENGINEER → danielricciardo ✔︎ ugh whatever you say… → username17 guys idk about you but i think max only likes y/n → username18 the way he doe everything for her and she doesn’t see this as love 😭 → username19 i mean she did say in a interview she wasn’t looking for any relationships because of how good her career is doing → username20 idk about anyone else.. but I feel like the day max confesses is the day their relationship comes crashing down. → username21 DON’T START SAYING THIS BS NOW.

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In Person

The heavy, thumping bass reverberates through the walls as you stand in the corner of the club. The club was never your thing. The floors constantly holding spilled drinks and other concoctions, the smell of BO and alcohol overwhelming your senses, the crowded atmosphere filled with sweating people… safe to say if it weren’t for Max dragging you out to be with the team celebrating you would be wrapped in blankets watching some sort of trashy reality TV show.

Max finally made his way over to you, a wide grin plastered on his face, clearly in his element here. He took in the sight of you. Every curve of your body, yevery way your hair falls, the way your eyes twinkle slightly when you notice him, the look of your red lips. He can never get tired of it.

"Hey, glad you made it out," he shouted over the music, the classic rasp in his voice showing as he clapped you on the back trying to hope you haven’t noticed his staring.

You managed a weak smile, feeling out of place amidst the pulsating energy of the club. "Of course," you replied, slightly raising your voice to be heard, “ you think I’d miss celebrating your Championship win?”.

Max gave a smile, “Never. Besides, if you said no, I’d find someway to get you to come over here.”.

You raised a brow at his statement. “Really? How so?”

Max let out a hum as he sloshed his drink in his cup. “Hm… I’m not too sure. Not seeing the cats are a good place to start.”, a smirk tugged at his lips.

Your raised brow turned into a furrow in disbelief, “You wouldn’t dare… not Jimmy and Sassy… they love me!” You exclaimed while Max gave a laugh, running his hand through his blonde stands, well more of him doing a hair-tuck to his nonexistent length. The conversation soon comes to a halt, although the music is booming, it felt as if it is just you and him in the entire world at the moment. It was your own form of silence. A comfortable one.

"How about we get out of here.” He suggested, breaking the silence.

“Leave? Max, we just got here! You said-“

“I asked you to celebrate with me, I never said where. It’s my Championship win after all.” He smiled, his eyes wrinkling from his proposition. “We only met here because this is where the team would be. It’s not as if they would notice we’re gone anyways… they are too wasted to even think.”

You tried to hide your smile but failed as Max extended his hand pressing it against your back, his eyes shining with mischief.

"Come on, let's get out of here," he urged. And suddenly, the pulsating energy of the club faded into the background as if the world outside those doors was beckoning to you.

You both stepped out into the cool night air, and beyond the hustle and bustle of the city, there was a strange serenity. It was as if time slowed down, and you found myself feeling more alive than you had in a long while. Max’s hand felt warm… reassuring… friendly. A steady presence in the midst of the urban chaos.

Being a woman in the industry of Formula One caused many controversies, let alone being a engineer to one of the possible best upcoming drivers in the history of the sport. From the sexist comments from other Formula One fans, to even your own people, co-workers in the workplace. Their degrading looks given to you if you even tried to hold a conversation with them was enough to be said. It wasn’t until a response to a interview did others begin to take you seriously. One that Max himself gave.

"Max, how do you feel about having a new, female engineer like Y/N on your team, especially during such a critical incident like the one with Bottas in Hungary? Do you think her gender affected her performance under pressure and can contribute to this race in Belgium? I mean, women are known to crack more under pressure then men.“ The interviewer asked as the room went quiet, a singular cough reverberating in the room from the tension of the atmosphere becoming so thick you can cut it with a knife.

“Excuse me?” Max questioned, his voice holding a tone filled of disbelief and slight disgust.

“I said, Max, how do you feel about-“

“No, no, I understood what you said I’m not deaf.” Her cut the journalist off making the journalist pause his speech and hold his tongue. “Look, I couldn’t care less about her gender. What matters to me is if she can do the job, which she’s been doing remarkably well. And as for the incident with Bottas in Hungary, she handled the pressure just like any other competent engineer would. It wasn’t her fault. I’ll take the blame for it. Her gender has nothing to do with it. If anything, it adds a fresh perspective to our team, and that’s a good thing. Now if anyone has any other questions like this asshole over here, I would pick another question to do.”

No one dared to speak of you the way the interviewer did.

After the interview, you approached Max who happened to be watching over some data from the sim. Blue eyes focused with such intensity that he didn’t even notice you.

”Max, I wanted to thank you for standing up for me in there. It means a lot to have your support." You commented softly, not wanting to disrupt him due to Max being known for his rather… straightforward and blunt responses.

"No problem. We're a team, and a team supports each other. Your gender shouldn’t matter in the first place. It’s all about weather you can do your job and your doing just fine.” He said matter of fact.

You nodded, feeling a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. You weren’t used to it one bit. But it felt amazing. As if you can actually walk somewhere and not be treated as if you were a piece of dirt.

”Thanks you... I'm glad to be part of this team, and I'll keep giving my best."

A tender look graced your face as you remember the memory, finally gaining a friend in the hell of a industry, but you wouldn’t change it in the world if it meant that you got to meet Max and work with him. While you both walked along the quiet streets, the sounds of the city and the soft glow of the street lights enveloping us in a kind of magical cocoon.

“So… where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” was his only response, making you roll your eyes.

You two continued walking until you reach a secluded area on the white, sandy beach of the UAE. You look up to the dark, noir sky. The sun was long gone and the only shine that hits your skin was the moonlight, complemented by the clusters of stars crafting their own soft glow. Max stared at you as if you were some sort of marble statue, hand crafted by the Greeks.

How can someone be so beautiful?

The humming song from a nearby restaurant or bar was the only sound heard. It was a gentle melody, one that fits the mood so far into the night.

"Care to dance?” Max finally asked, snapping you out of your trance.

“Dance? What are we? In our early 20’s?” You teased, eyes meeting his blue eyes that glisten like the moon’s reflection in the oceans waves.

"Age doesn't define how we have fun," he retorted. You couldn't help but snort a bit, feeling the lightheartedness of the moment.

"Alright, why not?" you agreed, letting him lead you to a spot under the faint light of a nearby lamppost. He placed his calloused hand onto the small of your back, close to your hip just as he did to lead you out of the club, then leading your hand to be placed onto his shoulder

As the music enveloped you, you swayed to the gentle rhythm, feeling the warmth of the sand under your feet and the cool breeze from the ocean as his eyes meet yours.

`` I practice every day, To find some clever lines to say, To make the meaning come true ``

“I’m proud of you you, y’know that?”

“You’ve told me once or twice.”

“It’s true though.” You reassure.

“It’s just as true as me saying how beautiful you are.”

`` But then I think I'll wait Until the evening gets late And I'm alone with you ``

You let out a chuckle. “Smooth Max Emilian Verstappen. Very smooth. Practicing for some girl that caught your eye or something?”

His eyes slightly widen before losing contact with yours, “Maybe I am…”, his cheeks being brushed with a slight red.

“Well she must be a lucky girl. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

It goes faint.

`` The time is right, your perfume fills my head The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue ``

“Can-…” Max starts glancing back at you before cutting himself off choking on his own words.

“What is it, Max?”

“Godverdomme… can I tell you something?”

“Anything. I’m you friend after all.”

Friend.

`` And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you" ``

"I love you.”

“You… you what?”

Your movement stops.

“I love you Y/N. So much. Ever since you walked in the office I-“

“No… no no no… “

“…What?”

“Max… please tell me your messing with me…”

He is just your friend. But you’re his everything.

Twitter

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ Ash, my love, my pookie, the love of my life, you my love re the reason I’m here today. If it weren’t for you reaching out and becoming friends with me in March, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Whether it be reviewing our work together, watching GP’s together, sending THOSE edits to one another, and even just random rants and talks, I’m glad it was you who I was with when I started my writing journey and I wouldn’t change a thing. I really hope you like this fic, I def tried my best with it 🥹🫶 LOVE YOU LOTS LOVELY 🩷

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barcaatthemoon · 3 days

Text

brave || lucy bronze x reader ||

lucy must put on a brave face when you go down during a game.

lucy could count on one hand the amount of times that she had ever been truly terrified. the fear that she felt whenever you went down was the greatest by far. it was almost like a sick joke. lucy didn't have time to be bitter about it, not when you obviously needed her to be there for you more. and so, lucy tried her best to swallow it all back to kneel next to you.

"hey bird, that was a nasty hit you took," lucy said. up close, it was so much worse. lucy had seen you go down, and momentarily had just frozen on the opposite side of the field. standing next to you, there was so much blood. that was nothing compared to the dazed look in your eyes.

"lucy, it hurts," you whined. lucy knew that you were about to start crying. she was certain the only reason you weren't yet were all of the younger players on the field. the one who had knocked into you was recently brought up from a youth team, and you didn't want to scar her.

"it's okay. i've got you. shh, just breathe for me," lucy instructed you. the medics came over and took you straight off of the field. lucy was subbed off as well, a decision that sarina made without second thought.

"keep a close eye on her for all of us," millie told your wife. lucy nodded and gave millie a quick hug as the woman went on for lucy. there hadn't been an official sub for lucy, but everybody knew that millie could handle it for a bit. there weren't that many minutes left in the game, and england managed to pull ahead early on.

"look at me bird." lucy gently grabbed onto your chin, forcing you to look up at her. "that's gonna leave a nasty cut, but i think i can get over it for a while."

"what a saint," you huffed. lucy smiled, glad that you could still joke with her. she knew that it was just an expression, but she was glad that the humor hadn't been knocked out of you. lucy could still remember whenever you had gotten a concussion back in college so bad that your career had almost ended. "are you also going to nurse me back to health?"

"of course i am. i'm not letting you out of my sight," lucy mumbled as she pulled you into a hug. lucy was incredibly gentle with you in a way that you knew meant she was terrified. "how are you feeling, really?"

"well, my head hurts like a bitch, but i am okay. i would be a bit better if you didn't look like you'd just seen a ghost. i got up lucy, i walked off of the field. it's not like last time," you told her. lucy swallowed back some tears. the memories of your injury still haunted her. it hadn't been all bad though. lucy had admitted her feelings for you that night at the hospital, even if she thought you were in a coma when you weren't. "you could have stayed and played on."

"nah, someone's got to give bright those pity minutes. she likes riling up the young ones when she's bored." lucy laughed a little, but you could still hear the tears behind it. lucy didn't let go of you until she was certain that she wouldn't just burst into tears. you laid back until the doctor came back to finish up your concussion tests.

you knew that you were concussed, it was just a question of how badly. your facial cut was superficial and didn't need stitches, which you were grateful for. lucy held your hand tightly as it was bandaged up before you went back to the locker room to wash up. the game had ended by the time you were finished, but the team was all seemingly waiting to see how you were. the fact that you hadn't been rushed off to the hospital was a good sign.

"you know, you just about gave bronzey here a heart attack," mary said as she slung her arm around your shoulders. she tried to pull you away from lucy, who did not loosen her grip on you one bit. "scared the rest of us pretty bad too."

"gotta keep you on your toes. as for lucy, she was very brave. kept a calm head with me through my tests." lucy blushed at your praise, but didn't argue.

"what's the verdict?" keira asked. you could see her, georgia, and leah practically shaking with anticipation.

"i'll be out for at least a month, maybe two. i am really sorry guys, i was hoping to see this through, but it's just the luck of the draw," you told them. almost immediately, you felt their bodies crash into yours. lucy was trapped in the hug as well, but you could tell from the way that her body sagged into it that she needed it.

"you can be our mascot. every time that we score, we'll do it for you," georgia promised. you ruffled the shorter woman's hair a bit before you pressed a kiss to the top of her head. the team seemed to be in complete agreement with dedicating the whole tournament to you, which you knew meant trouble for the other teams.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #lucy bronze imagine #lucy bronze x reader

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ashwhowrites · 3 days

Note

Ok, so this one is either going to be a hefty boy, or a 2-parter:

So imagine if Chrissy broke up with Jason and starts dating Eddie. The reader is best friends with both Chrissy and Eddie, and is also very much in love with them. But since they're together, reader just keeps it to herself. Unbeknownst to her (and to each other) both Chrissy and Eddie also have feelings for the reader.

Until one day, Eddie and Chrissy are together, and he calls Chrissy by the readers name. Eddie's panicking thinking Chrissy is going to be pissed, but instead she's just like "oh thank god!" And they decide to try and figure out if the reader feels the same about them.

Then maybe like Jason wants to get back at Chrissy and Eddie, so he convinces a basketball player to ask the reader out and then embarrasses her on the date, so she goes crying to her besties and they comfort her and confess their feelings.

(If you want to add HellCheer x reader smut at the end I won't be upset by this.)

Sorry if this is really long, I've had a while to think it out.

As a bisexual gal, this was a dream. I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

⚠️smut ( threesome )

Both of you

Y/N had a secret crush on her best friend Chrissy for years. She never admitted it to the cheerleader as Chrissy never talked about females before. But Y/N also never had so maybe she shouldn't assume. Watching Chrissy and Jason be together was hell. All the things Jason got to do made Y/N burn with jealousy. Jason was also an asshole and she hated that Chrissy would even stay with him.

As a way to distract herself, Eddie caught her eye. Y/N had been friends with Eddie for a while, less than Chrissy. She met Eddie because of Chrissy, which was odd since they were opposites. But that was exactly what Y/N needed. He was the opposite of Chrissy.

She found herself crushing on him the more they all hung out. Eddie was single and Y/N focused on that. They flirted and had their moments but nothing truly happened. It was all words and soft touches to his arm.

But then Chrissy dumped Jason and Y/N was back to square one. She didn't know if she should take the chance and see where Chrissy's head could be, or keep focused on Eddie.

Eddie had a small crush on Y/N the moment he met her. She was a pretty girl with a beautiful smile. But he had his eyes on Chrissy since middle school. He suffered while she was with Jason, enjoying the distraction Y/N was. It might have been a distraction, but he loved it when Y/N would touch his arm and whisper flirty things in his ear.

But then Chrissy was single and Eddie didn't know what to do. He didn't want to discard Y/N like their time was nothing, but did he really wanna pass up the chance with Chrissy?

Chrissy felt a pull towards Y/N, and it confused her. She wasn't used to looking at a girl and wanting to spend every breath kissing her. Chrissy was always memorized by Y/N. Even when she was with Jason, her eyes watched Y/N's every move. But so did Eddie. It started as a little friendship, but the more she hung out with him the more she realized how attracted she was to him.

She dumped Jason because her brain felt splattered all over the place. She knew she didn't want him and she didn't know who to go for.

~~~

Y/N felt personally attacked by God himself when Chrissy and Eddie announced they were together. She felt like the world crashed at her feet and her duty was to suffer.

But she loved both of them, and she would never admit how bad it hurt to see them together.

She knew they didn't mean to make her a third wheel, but she was. She bit away at the inside of her cheek as they held hands in the hallways. She looked away whenever they shared a sweet kiss in the booth. And she was right out the door the second the room got steamy. She was sad that it seemed like it was not three friends hanging out anymore, it was just their date.

Chrissy could never get rid of this feeling in the bottom of her stomach. She knew she loved being with Eddie and was happy to be with him, but Y/N ate away at the back of her mind.

With Eddie's lips on her neck and his hands moving up her skirt, she closed her eyes and thought of Y/N. It wasn't that Y/N replaced Eddie in her mind, she was additionally added in. She pictured Y/N kissing Eddie as he moved inside of her. She pictured the three of them doing the nastiest things she could think of.

She had to bite her lip constantly to make sure she didn't moan out the wrong name. Because she screamed both their names when she pleased herself behind closed doors.

Eddie felt guilty for the amount of times he thought of Y/N. He loved Chrissy and he did not regret a relationship with her. He just wished he didn't have to pick between them. He wished he could have both under his arm.

Eddie moaned as Chrissy kissed down his naked chest, falling to her knees.

His hand tangled in her hair as she took him down her throat, his head thrown back with bliss. His eyes closed as he melted into the couch, her warm mouth wrapped around him. The feeling felt incredible as he lost himself in his fantasy.

Felt both girls' mouths on him, kissing every inch of his skin. His grip on Chrissy's hair got tighter as the images flashed through his head.

He panted at the thought of them both on their knees, pretty eyes looking up at him before they kissed each other. Then they'd pull away and both kiss down his cock. Then they'd take turns sucking him off.

"Fuck, Chrissy" he moaned, the images of her gagging on him and the touch of Y/N playing with his balls

"Fuck Y/N just like that,"

His eyes snapped open as he heard his own words. He cringed as Chrissy's head snapped up in shock.

Eddie sat in fear as she stared at him. Her blue eyes looked frozen as she stared. He quickly tucked himself back in his pants. Apology on his tongue.

"Oh thank god, you think about her too," Chrissy said, a relieved smile on her face as she stood up.

"Wait what?" Eddie asked. Chrissy crawled into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Y/N, you were thinking about her, right?" Chrissy asked to clarify

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It wasn't instead of you. I love you and you know that. But she never leaves my head." Eddie sighed

"It's okay, Eddie. She doesn't leave my head either." Chrissy finally confessed out loud.

"Really?" Eddie was surprised. He never once thought his girlfriend had a side to her where she liked a girl.

"Really. I've been stuck trying to figure out my feelings for you and her and it's the same."

"I know what you mean," Eddie said as he held Chrissy on his lap

"What do we do?" Chrissy asked

"We see how she feels" Eddie shrugged, it was worth a shot to see where it would go.

~~~

Before Eddie and Chrissy could discuss everything with Y/N, she already had news of her own.

"What do you mean you have a date with Troy?" Eddie snapped, the excitement washed off her face.

"I mean he asked me out and I said yes, what is the big deal?" Y/N countered back

"It's just Troy isn't always the nice kind of guy," Chrissy said, a lot more comforting than Eddie.

The couple tried to ignore the pain in their chest at the thought of her slipping away.

"It's just one date, and if it goes horribly I will never see him again." Y/N shrugged. She wanted to see if she could move on and distract her brain from the two across from her.

"That is a good idea," Chrissy smiled

"Bullshit it is. Y/N, he is an asshole, what makes you think he will suddenly be prince charming? You are going to get yourself hurt." Eddie fought.

"Eddie, relax." Chrissy soothed as she rubbed his back

Y/N looked away as they shared their moment

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Y/N asked, moving her eyes to look right at Eddie.

Eddie shared a look with Chrissy, asking if this was the right time to come clean. Chrissy gave him a small shake of her head and he nodded.

"I'm looking out for a friend," Eddie replied

"I'm a big girl. I'll deal with whatever happens." Y/N snapped as she walked off

"I've got a bad feeling" Chrissy sighed

"Me too"

Their bad feeling was right

That night Y/N was pounding on Eddie's trailer door as she sobbed.

Eddie pulled her into a hug the moment he saw her, he closed the door behind her. He kept his arms around her as he walked her to the bedroom, where Chrissy sat flipping through her homework

"What happened?" Chrissy gasped as the crying girl came through the door. Her homework was shoved to the floor as Y/N sat on the bed. She left Eddie's arms for Chrissy's.

"I'm an idiot. I should have listened to Eddie but of course, I wanted to make my own stupid decisions." Y/N cried

Chrissy and Eddie shared a look

Chrissy pulled back a little so she could clear off Y/N's running mascara. Eddie sat next to both of them, rubbing Y/N's back.

"You are not an idiot. You wanted to give Troy a fair shot and that was sweet of you." Chrissy cooed

Eddie had a different approach

"What did the fucker do?" Eddie snapped

Chrissy sent him a glare but he was too fired up

"It was all a joke. I guess Jason told him to ask me out."

At the sound of Jason's name Chrissy and Eddie both tensed up

"And when I got there, the whole team was there and they all laughed and made fun of me for thinking I was actually going on a date with someone that popular"

"Don't listen to them. Jason is always trying to mess things up. He wanted to hurt me." Chrissy said softly, her heart broke for her.

"Anyone would be lucky to be on a date with you," Eddie jumped in

"Yeah right," Y/N scoffed. "I'm going to clean up my face." She said as she got up and walked off to Eddie's bathroom.

"I think we should say something now," Chrissy said once they were alone

"Will it be too much for her?" Eddie asked, he was worried it would be too many emotions at once.

"I think it will help her to hear."

The couple went silent as she walked back out. Her makeup was cleaned off and her hair tossed up.

"We have something to tell you," Chrissy said

Y/N nervously looked between both of them as she took her seat on the bed. Chrissy to her left and Eddie to her right

"What's up?" Y/N asked

"How do you feel about me?" Eddie asked

Y/N swallowed nervously as she turned to look at Chrissy

"It's okay, be honest," Chrissy whispered as she nodded to Eddie

Y/N took a deep breath and looked back at Eddie

"I guess I've always had this attraction towards you. And I really like you and I thought we had something but I've been trying my best to be happy for you." Y/N confessed

"And how do you feel about me?" Chrissy asked

Y/N grew more nervous for that one

"You're my best friend," Y/N smiled. Her palms were sweaty. Confessing to Eddie was easy, but coming out to her best friend was a whole different emotion

"Do you ever see me as anything more?" Chrissy asked

"I'm sorry, what is going on?" Y/N panicked as she stood up. "Why are you guys asking me this stuff?"

"Well," Chrissy sighed, "Eddie and I both have feelings for you. Feelings we felt before we got together, and they haven't gone away."

"We know it's crazy, but if you wanted, we were wondering if you wanted to give us three a shot," Eddie explained

Y/N felt like she was in a different universe. Did the two people she had feelings for just ask her to be with them?

"As in...all three of us date?" Y/N asked, her brain felt like it was non-stop running

"Yeah. We don't have to dive straight into a relationship. We could date and test the waters." Chrissy said, standing up as she walked closer.

"Uh..." Y/N didn't know what to say, but she didn't have to say anything.

Chrissy cupped her jaw and leaned in. Y/N watched with heavy eyes as Chrissy's lips got closer and closer until her lips touched hers.

Y/N melted into the kiss immediately, after years and years of dreaming about this exact moment. Y/N reached forward and gripped Chrissy's hips. The kiss grew heavy as Chrissy moved her hands to trail down Y/N's back.

Chrissy pulled away with a smile

Y/N stood shocked as she tried to regain her breath

Eddie reached forward and yanked Y/N down to his lap

She shivered as she felt his bulge underneath her body, and then his lips were on hers

She whimpered as he easily took control of the kiss. His rough hands squeezed her ass as his tongue slipped inside her mouth. Her head got dizzy from the way he touched her and pulled whines from her throat.

He pulled away with a small smirk, loving the lust that burned in her eyes

"Did you like that?" He asked

"Yes" she breathed out

"Did you like it with her?" He asked

"Yes" she breathed out

"Want to go further?" Chrissy asked

Y/N turned her head to look over her shoulder. Y/N nodded and felt her stomach bubble with excitement

Y/N had her back against the mattress, breathing heavily as her nerves filled her body.

"Ready?" Eddie asked, he was in between her legs, standing at the end of the bed. She barely could take her eyes off his naked body. His cock was already covered in the condom, waiting for her reply.

Chrissy sat naked near Y/N's head, rubbing Y/N's chest to calm her nerves.

"Yes"

Eddie held Y/N's hips as she pushed himself inside her, he entered himself slowly. Letting her take him inch by inch.

She gasped as he filled her, he felt amazing inside of her. He went slow as he thrust inside of her, making her eyes roll in the back of her head as she felt him.

"Doing so well for me, such a good girl," Eddie praised

Y/N shivered from his words, she couldn't believe she was finally having Eddie the way she wanted.

He leaned down, still thrusting inside of her, his lips pressed against hers for a quick second. "Wanna taste Chrissy? She tastes amazing, so sweet and addicting." Eddie's brown eyes looked up to Chrissy.

Y/N whined at the thought. Her being under Chrissy's body and tasting her on her tongue.

"Yes, please," Y/N moaned out, her voice strained as Eddie picked up his pace

Chrissy smiled as she moved to straddle Y/N's face, she faced Eddie as she slowly moved herself down

Eddie watched with delight as Chrissy's pink cunt landed on Y/N's tongue. Eddie felt himself growl as he watched Y/N's tongue working between Chrissy's folds.

Chrissy moaned as she placed her hands behind her, moving her hips as she rode Y/N's face.

"Oh, that is so good, Y/N, fuck." Chrissy moaned. She never knew how good her best friend's tongue felt.

"Such pretty girls," Eddie moaned as he watched them

He felt Y/N clench around him, she tried to talk but it was muffled. The vibrations sent Chrissy into a whining mess as she gripped the sheets.

Eddie moved his hand down to rub her clit, loving the way Y/N's body jolted. Not once losing his pace, Eddie used his free hand to reach forward to play with Chrissy's nipples. He pulled the pink bud between his fingers, loving the way it snapped back in place as she shivered

Chrissy gasped as she felt herself getting close, Y/N's tongue swirling her clit perfectly.

"Look at that, Y/N. Gonna make Chrissy cum all over you. Be a good girl and make her shake." Eddie said, his fingers still working on Y/N's clit. He took his hand away from Chrissy's nipples and moved down to Y/N's chest, his finger teasing her stomach.

Y/N was growing tired as her own orgasm got close but she shook her head back and forth, giving the messiest head she could. She loved the way Chrissy screamed out her name.

Chrissy felt her eyes roll in the back of her head as she felt her stomach snap.

"CUMMING" she warned, Eddie watched in delight as Chrissy panted and came all over Y/N's mouth

She grew sensitive and went to pick up her hips, but Y/N wrapped her arms around her thighs and slammed her back down. Chrissy cried as her thighs shook, and Y/N's tongue continued to abuse her.

Y/N finally let Chrissy go, the blonde could barely feel her legs as she landed on the bed, fucked out.

"Need," Y/N whined, her head thrown back as Eddie's fingers played with her clit

"Need to cum? Come on pretty girl. Cum all over my cock." Eddie said, his pace was so fast that she could feel his balls smacking against her skin. He planted his free hand next to her head as he fucked himself into her

She clawed at his chest as she felt her orgasm washing over her. His close behind as he emptied himself in the condom

Eddie slid out of her, disposing of the condom

Chrissy leaned down and softly pecked Y/N's lips

Eddie crawled onto his bed and kissed up Y/N's body as Chrissy pulled away.

Eddie pecked Y/N's lips before he captured Chrissy's lips in a kiss.

Y/N whimpered as they kissed above her

She didn't care to test the waters, she wanted to dive straight in

Tags!

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kisses4reid · 2 days

Text

warnings: mentions of being unlovable, angst, happy ending, love.

Spencer’s hands wrung with each other, the cool breeze in the car park pushing his hair from his forehead, “I love you.”

You blinked, heart sinking into the pit of your stomach, breath catching. You stood in horror, gulping and immediately lowering your gaze to anything but Spencer.

To yourself, you were an outcast in every sense of the word. No one likes you, and no one would pick you out of a room full of people. Why would they, anyways? You’re you, and you can never change that. Who would want to be stuck with you? Anyone who’s ever admitted to liking or loving you had told you it was a mistake, that you wasted their time, they should’ve spent their time on something worthwhile.

You didn’t want to put Spencer through that.

“And it’s completely fine if you don’t feel the same it’s just- I know we say we won’t profile each other but I kind of think that you might- maybe- like me back and-“

“Stop, Spencer.” You looked down at your heels, shifting your weight nervously.

Spencer obliged and gulped, eyebrows furrowing. His nerves were visually increasing, as were yours. The wind was loud, so was your heart.

“Spencer,” you sighed. How could you do this to him? Deny his affection, when it’s the one thing you crave, the one thing you’ve been thinking about for the past two years. “Spencer. You can’t do that.”

His face crinkled in confusion and then relief, “I know, it’s a bad place to confess things- We could go down to the park in front of your house or, that café you like?” He had a smile on his face, a cute one, one you didn’t want to leave.

“You can’t love me Spencer.” You replied, holding his gaze, heart breaking when his face dropped.

“Oh.”

Your eyes searched each other’s, and you felt like you would throw up at any second.

You turned to go, assuming that would be it. The end of your friendship, the end of your feelings and his. Until his voice croaked,

“Why not?”

You stopped, your car was only a few short steps away, tears brimming your eyes. Turning, you took a breath and decided avoiding his eyes was the best way you were going to get through this without crying. You’ve cried in front of him before, you’ve lied as well, and you’ve told him secrets nobody else knows. Why hold it back now? Why hide yourself from someone who loves you?

He won’t for long though. That’s how it always goes.

“You just can’t. It’s not… right-“

“All we have to do is talk to HR-“

“You don’t love me Spencer. You don’t, you won’t. Not now, not in the future. It doesn’t happen with me, okay? You just need some sleep and, I don’t know,” you ran your shaking fingers through your hair, tears welling onto mascara covered lashes before Spencer moved and grabbed your hand tight.

“You don’t know that! I do love you, Y/n. More than anything else,”

“No you don’t-“

“You don’t know how I feel-“

“I know how you will feel.”

Spencer flinched, hand dropping yours, the sudden absence of his touch freezing your wrists. He took a breath and trailed your face with his eyes, squinting them in disbelief.

“Y/n. I’ve loved you for years, nothing has changed- if anything my love for you has increased which statistically goes against everything that research suggests about relationships but I truly do believe it.”

A shiver ran down your spine, a tear rolled down your cheek. He looked sorrowful and hurt. You had caused it.

“I’m sorry Spencer.”

His shoulders slumped, “D-don’t say sorry. I respect your decision, um.”

“I love you too.”

The words escaped you before you could even think them, your eyes mirroring Spencer’s wide ones. And you continued with no second thought, “I have loved you, but, I don’t want to lose you.”

“How could you lose me?”

“Everyone I love leaves. It’s because of me. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

You stared at each other for seconds, moments, what felt like minutes. You hadn’t even realised you’d been sobbing until a tear drop landed on your shoes.

“Y/n you aren’t unloveable. I’m living proof. Let me be proof, please. I will love you and stay with you until I can’t tie my own shoes and my dentures fall into my oatmeal.” He looked tired, disappointed. He had worked up all of this courage, done all of the confirmation you might have liked him back- and you did! But why, why, weren’t you letting it happen? “I can love you, I won’t get hurt, you won’t hurt me. The only thing I’ve seen you hurt it your own ankle trying to chase the ice cream truck outside Rossi’s house. Please, Y/n.” You stood a metre apart, but he closed it, “Please,” and took your hands.

Your heart pounded and you looked into his eyes. There was something there you’d never seen before. Eagerness, longing, yearning.

“Okay.” You whispered.

“What?”

“Okay.”

“Really?” Spencer broke out into a smile, causing you to slowly grin.

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god, thank you.”

taglist (open!!): @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es

#criminal minds #spencer reid #cm #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid angst #criminal minds angst #spencer reid x you #criminal minds x reader

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slight-gaming-addict · 16 hours

Note

i thrive for angst so, if youre comfortable enough could you do a character x gn!reader, catching reader in the act of sh?

preferably vil, riddle, idia, and rook

@rosesforo

ocean eyes

masterlist | request rules | ko-fi

characters catching you in the middle of self harm

characters: riddle rosehearts, vil schoenheit, idia shroud

warnings: ⚠️ contains acts of self harm ⚠️ PLEASE do not read this if it'll make you uncomfortable in ANY way i beg, angst, blood, crying, hurt/comfort

a/n: listen i'm sorry but i tried doing rook but i physically could not write about him for the life of me he reminds me too much of white dora and genuinely scares me a little but i hope you like the other parts<3

𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 𝑹𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔

You didn't mean for it to get this bad. You thought today was going to be different, better than the others, but you were wrong.

The weight in your chest just seemed to build as the day went on until you couldn't handle it. You didn't want to deal with anyone today and tried to keep mostly to yourself, but it proved difficult when you couldn't seem to shake off the people who kept coming up to you.

It's when you think no one's looking that you run off into the small clearing in the forest close by. However, you weren't aware of a certain redhead who witnessed you wandering off.

Riddle doesn't mean to follow you; he's just worried about you. He noticed you acting weird all day and wanted to make sure you were okay.

You told yourself it was just supposed to be a couple of cuts, just so you could feel something, but more and more cuts followed after the sting of the first few. You lost control, but before you could stop yourself, you heard the noise of someone coming up behind you.

You're quick to slide the sleeves of your shirt down your arms to cover them, flinching slightly at the feeling of the rough fabric brushing over your fresh wounds, before you see Riddle stop in front of you.

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what you were doing here, but you're hoping that Riddle wouldn't see the signs. You can tell him you were out for a walk and wanted to get some fresh air. However, all the excuses leave your head when you see his focus turn to the drops of blood on the leaves in front of you, then to the razor you tried, but failed, to inconspicuously hide in your hand.

It's safe to say Riddle is definitely freaking out. He does his best to stay calm on the outside so as not to scare you, but on the inside, he's freaking out completely. He doesn't know why you'd do this, but he's not going to ask you about it. The rational thing in his mind is to walk up to you and gently remove the razor from your grip.

You let him take the razor from you, eyes trained on the ground in front of you as the sleeves of your shirt stick to your skin. He doesn't say anything as he helps you up from your position and takes you to get cleaned up.

He's gentle with the cleaning process, even if his hands are slightly shaking from the nerves in his body from fear of accidentally doing the wrong thing. He's able to clean the cuts as best he can before getting you an extra shirt and letting you rest.

Your movements seem purely robotic as Riddle helps you move around, probably immediately falling to the ground as soon as he lets go of you. The only things you hear are the faint echoes of Riddle saying that he's here for you and him not leaving your side.

𝑽𝒊𝒍 𝑺𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒆𝒏𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒕

Vil sees you rushing off between classes, hood up as if you wanted to go unnoticed, but he notices. He always notices you.

At first, he just figures you forgot something and are rushing to get it before your next class. However, class is just about to start, and he still doesn't see you.

There's a part of him that feels like he should just wait for you to show up, but there's a bigger part of him that feels like he should go look for you because something seems off. He's ahead in the class anyway and shouldn't suffer from missing a day.

He goes straight to your room, knocking on the door when he gets there, just to find it unlocked when he tries the knob. This confuses him. You always make sure to lock your door, being one for privacy and all. Vil walks into the room, making sure to shut the door behind him.

He doesn't see you anywhere in the room but hears rustling coming from the bathroom. The bathroom door is cracked open when he walks up to it. He makes sure to announce his presence to you first, but you don't seem to hear him when he pushes the door open.

His breath catches in his throat at the sight he finds when the door's all the way open. You are sitting on the edge of the bathtub, just staring down at your arms as blood drips from them and onto the floor.

Vil doesn't know how to feel. This is the last thing he thought he'd find when he opened the door, but now that he's seeing you, he feels his heart clench. He doesn't understand why you would want to do this to yourself, and he hates that you would ever feel that you needed to. How long have you felt this way? A million questions fly through his head at once, trying to figure out if there was a chance he could have helped you before if any signs were given to him.

You still haven't noticed him in the doorway, still in a trance staring at your arms. You start to bring the razor back to your arm, the sting you felt earlier leaving a numbness in its wake. When Vil sees this, he takes it as his chance to walk all the way into the bathroom and carefully grab your wrist, preventing you from doing anything else.

Your body jumps, staring up at Vil from your position, not expecting anyone to be here. There are tears gathering in his eyes as he reaches out his hand to place it on your cheek. The gentleness of his touch makes you completely break down into him.

Vil kneels down in front of you, letting you curl into his chest as you sob. He's able to take the razor out of your grasp and throw it into the tub behind you, letting you collapse onto his lap as he holds you.

He's aware of all the blood seeping into his uniform, but at this moment all he can think about is helping you. He only lets you stay in this position for less than a minute more, needing to clean up the still-bleeding wounds on your arms.

He apologizes, saying he needs to clean you up when he hears you whine after he moves you off of him. He lets you lie as close to him as you can as he washes off your arms in the tub, every once in a while whispering praises of how good you're being for him.

He makes a mental note to clean up the bathroom as he lays you down in your bed after he's done helping you, but for now, he just lets you hold him until you fall asleep with the warmth of his body wrapped around you.

𝑰𝒅𝒊𝒂 𝑺𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒅

You told Idia that you were going to the bathroom 15 minutes ago. At first, he didn't realize how long it had been since you said something, being too absorbed in the game in front of him. But soon he notices that you've been there an awfully long time.

He pauses the game and walks over to gently knock on the bathroom door. He gets no immediate response, only hearing quiet shuffling behind the door when he presses his ear up to it.

After calling your name and knocking a few more times with no response, he checks the door handle and is surprised when the door opens; it isn't locked.

You don't expect the door to open, thinking you had locked it behind you when you walked into the bathroom, but you realize you didn't when you see Idia standing in the doorway. You think you turned around fast enough for him not to see what you were doing, but he already saw the streaks of red and drops of blood in the sink before you turned around.

It's the soft way he says your name and the gentle hand on your shoulder that cause you to break down and drop the razor you once clutched in your hand. You fall into his embrace, feeling his arms wrap around you as he lets you sob into his shoulder.

He carefully moves your body closer to the sink, your face remaining buried in his shoulder. Turning the faucet on and wetting a rag he grabs next to the sink, he carefully turns your arms around and starts to wipe the drying blood off. He apologizes, stopping briefly when he feels you wince, and starts again a few seconds later, gentler than he was previously.

He's able to get in touch with Ortho at this time, asking him to bring a couple of bandages to his room. He has to specify that everything's fine and to leave them outside the bathroom, making sure Ortho won't see you like this.

Once he has washed off both your arms and received the message from Ortho that the bandages are outside, he starts to walk with you toward the bathroom exit.

You don't stop clinging to him as he sits you down on his bed, kneeling in front of you to start wrapping the bandages carefully around your arms. He hopes he's doing it well enough, not having had to wrap anything up like this before.

He's tempted to ask Ortho to check if everything's wrapped up okay, but he knows you probably wouldn't feel comfortable with someone else here right now. So, he sets the excess wrappings aside for later and lays you down in his bed.

You grab him instantly, not letting him move far from you. He's careful not to lay on either of your arms as he hugs you close to his chest, letting you fall asleep in his arms.

buy me a coffee ♡

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skullvgirl · 3 days

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HIIII IM SO READY TO GIVE YOU A REQUEST 🥹🥹🥹 maybe what pet names barou gives reader and how he uses them?

what pet names he calls you | barou

incl. my glorious king shouei

warnings. fem reader, soft shouei

an's. yall could never make me hate him 🙏

maybe a bit stereotypical but baby is a good one. i feel like he wouldnt do too much with his pet names already but this one is used when he wants too sweet talk you for example :

"baby I know you just went out, but do me a favor would you?" and of course he puts on the sweetest voice ever, rubbing your thighs too add. it gets you every time.

when he's in front of his teammates ( let's say you came too one if his practices and is now sitting in the stands alone ) he likes too use my girl as a pet name, it makes him feel connected to you.

"hey barou, who's that up there?" and he glances up not a moment too soon to see you waving at him.

"oh that? that's my girl, so if your interested—it's a big ole' FUCK NO from me. She's off limits"

another pet name I feel like he might use is sweetheart, and I know what your thinking ( that sweetheart is specially reserved for dilfs and milfs only however...)

he's really an old man a heart so what's the harm done? when barou speaks he means everything he says—no takebacks. so when he's talking about you and calling you sweetheart he really means it. ( so probably when your being super nice too him. )

"oh thank you sweetheart, I really appreciate it"

and

"oh sweetheart don't cry...it's not your fault..."

and lastly of course, how could we forget the infamous donkey. this pet name ( although some might beg to differ ) is just as affectionate as the rest of the pet names he uses. it's more commonly used when you two are arguing or your just being 'annoying'.

"oi stop that you donkey, your ruining my—hey get off there your gonna fall!"

"donkey. no really how do you even get hurt this bad! ah ah ah I dont wanna hear it!"

an's. sighh, this was fun. i love him sm ty for tye request anonie ᡣ𐭩

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jji-lee · 15 hours

Note

when they says something which ends up hurting you

did this in a different format so hopefully it's still okay - enjoy! ☺

⟡ mark - tense silence

takes him a minute to even register what he said. seeing your face sadden he'll start to stutter, wanting to say something, but not knowing how to organize his thoughts. he'll just sit there for a minute scared that he'll say something wrong again. ends up muttering a short, "i'm sorry you know i'm not good with words, just give me a second okay" more awkward silence as he thinks, but he'll reach for your hand to give you reassurance as you wait. doesn't like to act without thinking, he needs time to gather his thoughts, please be patient.

⟡ renjun - stubborn comments after

when he sees your eyes start to water he'll immediately try to excuse himself, "you know i didn't mean it that way" "can you just listen to me" "why are you jumping to conclusions," which obviously makes you feel worse. he'll pick at his nails and straighten his sideburns, not understanding that he's making you feel worse. eventually he'll gently grab your face to make you look at him, "okay please just, you know i hate to see you cry, let me explain, please." it's hard for him to admit he's wrong, but he knows he needs to apologize eventually, excuse his slight attitude, he's trying.

⟡ jeno - immediate regret

as soon as the words come out of his mouth he knows he messed up. immediately grabs you and pulls you into his embrace. "wait, let me explain, that didn't come out right" you'd try to push him away, "jeno, let me go, i don't wanna hear it" but he'd just pull you closer dipping his head into your neck, "no, i'm sorry, please just listen to me" he'd force you to sit there with him hugging you listening to his explanations and apologies. best boyfriend to talk things out with, you don't need to explain whats wrong he always seems to know, pro at reading your body language.

⟡ haechan - begs for forgiveness

feels actually so bad that he said anything that would hurt you, feels worse that you think he would ever try to intentionally hurt you. eyes start to water seeing your hurt expression, feels like kicking himself. however, he has a little sass in him, he's haechan of course, and tries to wait for you to say something first. when he notices that you in fact are not going to speak to him, he gets up and kneels in front of your sitting figure. puts his head on your lap and pouts, "baby please i'm sorry, you know i hate to see you like this" kisses as an apology, hands, legs, arms, face, every inch of you kissed as he praises you. his main priority is to comfort you before trying to smooth things over.

⟡ jaemin - has read the boyfriend manual

nobody can convince me that jaemin is not the prefect boyfriend. you are as shocked as he is when you hear those words come out of his mouth. immediately reaches for your hands and kisses them, "i don't know what came over me please i'm so sorry" you're just standing there looking at him wide eyed as he pulls you in for a hug, "please say something, what's on your mind, lets talk about this" gives you any space and time that you ask for, watches how your body reacts to his movements and his words to see what he should do next. is the most patient boyfriend in the world and is not afraid to open up and express why he said what he said and explain how he plans of fixing his mistakes. treats you like royalty all night and makes sure you're comfortable enough to open up to him.

⟡ chenle - will apologize for the next couple of days

chenle is a bit stubborn, will just sit there for a bit and chew on the inside cheek, he's more "actions speak louder than words." he'll get up and leave for a while, making you feel worse, but he'll come back with a chocolate bar you didn't even know you had. "eat this, it helps release serotonin or whatever" watches you as you silently take a bite, his heart literally hurts seeing you like this. you'd be the one to speak first but he cuts you off, cause he know he's the one that should be trying to say something and apologize. "i'm sorry, i know i act impulsively sometimes, let me make it up to you?" at the time you didn't know what he meant by that but as the week goes by and you start waking up to breakfast, receiving flowers at work, and having candy bars snuck into your bags with sappy notes, you know just how sorry chenle truly was.

⟡ jisung - nervous nervous nervous

he will like start to vibrate, don't know if it's all the regret in his body, or the need to say something, anything, to make his last comment go away. he will start to fidget and play with his fingers while trying to say something to you, "wait baby" "y/n" "are you upset" "is it what i said?" knows what he said hurt you but wants you to tell him so he can know exactly what went wrong. once you tell him he'll try to calm his nerves and apologize for what he said, would never intentionally say something to hurt you. takes him a second to grasp the situation since he likes for you to explain things clearly before he makes his next move, but he's a great listener so you don't mind, don't be afraid to rant.

#mark lee #renjun #jeno #haechan #jaemin #chenle #park jisung #nct #nct dream #nct imagines #request

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poppy-metal · 2 days

Note

that therapy piece was so beautiful:( what if you DID end up divorcing or at least separating, art does end up joining patrick and tashi in their weird whatever the fuck, and we’re like. yeah. thought so. but little do we know that he’s an actual mess that can’t even function, let alone fuck, when he does manage to get it up he bursts into tears before anyone can cum, and as sad tashi and patrick are for their boyfriend they also really need to have a decent orgasm without some guy crying in the background so they have to like…parent trap you back together

the angst of this is so beautiful hold awn...... cause art WOULD be someone who wouldn't realize what an important force in his life you are until you're gone. in my mind, you and him knew eachother since you were kids. didn't start dating till a little before college and then you just..... stayed together. no breakups. hardly any fights. Its not like any love was lost between you two but, there was this kind of lack of...... well, fire. tashi and patrick lit apart of him up inside, and what you refuse to acknowledge is they kinda did the same for you two. you both kinda orbited around patrick and tashi in college, and similarly they orbited back around you. you just couldn't see your importance there - so you extracted yourself from that patricktashi part of your life to devote yourself to art, while he stayed in their lives because he cant live without the kind of passion they ignite in him. the anger, the jealousy, the excitement.

with you gone though its like...... hes floundering. you're so soft, is the thing. arts always depended on your softness. you dont hurt him. you dont make him angry. you're warm and gentle and he can rest his head on your lap and fall asleep like a baby fawn in the middle of the woods with no fear a wolf will come along and rip him apart. in a bad way, you're safe. in a toxic way, being with you is him choosing to not take a leap with patrick or tashi and feel anything uncomfortable.

but in a good way, you're his best friend. in a healthy way, you're his anchor. his north star. and usually thats seen as a bad thing, he knows, love is supposed to be passionate and scary but what about when he wants to be held and just at peace? you've seen him through everything and you stayed. he knows he can put his heart in your hands and you wont crush it. and he loves you for it. you're the most tender, beautiful thing that's ever happened to him.

so its like. those two needs. the fire and the passion and the softness and tranquility. and where art has messed up is seeing them in two different ways. he cant put all his scary, passionate emotions onto you in fear of rejection and ruining what you have. he cant depend on patrick or tashi completely either because he doesn't trust them with his heart like he does with you.

hes left you alone in that sense. because you need the passion too. you needed it from him for so long and maybe your part of the blame is never asking for it. for cutting tashi and patrick out of your life because you were too scared of it at the time. but the longer you spent with art, the more you craved it. the fights, the breakups, the makeup sex. all of that.

so when you leave arts comfort is gone. he thinks, well maybe its for the best. i can take a risk now, i can try this thing with tashi - and even patrick. but it doesn't feel right. the leap doesn't feel good. and he realizes its because it was a leap he was always meant to take with you, together.

all these things patrick and tashi do - he should've done with you. he should've fought with you when you pissed him off. he should've tried to be more sexually adventurous. when tashi kisses him all he can think about is how you should be here. he should've asked why you stopped talking to them - he should've pushed you - he should've - he should've - he should've -

he spends nights at their house because he cant stand being alone in the house you shared. in the empty fucking bed. he'll end up pulling one of your sweaters from the closet you forgot to take with you that still smells like you, vanilla and cashmere, and cry into it like a pathetic slob. hes miserable. he wants you back.

he wants you back so he can love you better. he wants to see you kiss tashi, kiss patrick, see you allow yourself to be consumed. and then he wants you to come to him and sink into his arms and onto his cock and look into his eyes and tell him you love him, so he can moan the words back into your mouth.

but he can't. because you left him.

#ask #what should this au be called #failmarriage au #LMAO

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thedisc0spider · 2 days

Note

angst request: spencer and reader confessed their feeling for each other a while back, but decided to stay friends as to not ruin anything between them/at work. they both try to move on. so when a smosh holiday party happens they both bring people they're dating. and jealousy and angst ensues......

Selfish

————————————————————————————————————

Summary: literally the request

Warnings: angstttt, cursing, fem!reader, arguing, suggestive comment at the end, jealousy

Genre: angst with a hint of fluff at the end

Point of view: 1st person (I usually write second person but I really wanted an internal monologue moment)

A/n: so this request was literally perfect? You are so lovely, anon. 🤎

————————————————————————————————————

Of course, I want to be with him, but it’s just not plausible. I mean, think about it, if we broke up that would affect everyone around us as well. It would just be selfish.

This all started a few months ago, I did what I had to do for the sake of not only Spencer and I, but our co-workers too.

Me and Spencer were having a movie night, nothing out of the ordinary, except this time Spencer was feeling more bold than usual. Maybe it was the wine or the dim lighting, but at one point in the night we were looking at each other and he kissed me. It felt real and it felt right, but something in me said otherwise.

“Spencer, we can’t.” I said, pulling away.

“Yes, we can.” He leaned in again.

I stopped him by putting my hand on his chest. “No, Spencer. I’m serious. We work together, this could potentially ruin everything.” I shook my head.

I know I have a tendency to overthink, but it really did feel selfish.

“But I want to risk that for you, (y/n). It’s worth it to me. You are worth the risk.”

He looked at me with this glimmer in his eyes, one that he always had when he saw me. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I wish I did.

“I just… I don’t want to lose this. And I don’t want to, you know, make it awkward for everyone else if it didn’t work out.”

“But, I….” He looked at the ground for a moment.

We sat there for what felt like forever.

“So, what are you saying?” He spoke in almost a whisper, as if he was trying not to cry.

“Im saying I cant be with you… in that way.”

“In what way?”

“Romantically, Spencer.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He swallowed hard. I felt so bad, but what was I supposed to do?

“Im so sorry, Spencer. I really want to, but-“

“Then why can’t we? We both want it, (y/n/n). Why are you saying this?” He stood from the couch and I could tell he was truly hurt. I stood with him.

“Because we can’t, okay!”

“But you’re the only person I want, (y/n).”

“Spence, don’t be like this. Can’t we just be friends?”

Another long moment of silence.

“Well… I don’t want to lose you, so… yeah, I guess so. If that’s the only way.”

I grabbed his hand. He looked at me.

“We aren’t gonna let this night mess anything up, right? We care about each other too much for that.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you at work.”

After that night, everything was okay between us. We remained friends and didn’t let it ruin us.

Actually, I met someone else. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks casually but I’ve decided to bring him to the office holiday party. His name is Derek and he really is a sweetheart.

Tonight I’m wearing a tight dark-red dress that’s ends just above my knees. As we enter the room, I’m met with blue and frosty decorations.

Courtney and Shayne are chatting near a table that holds snacks and drinks, so I guide Derek in that direction.

“Hey, Court! Hi, Shayne!” I hug them both.

“(Y/n)! Who’s this?” She nods towards the man beside me.

“Oh! This is Derek, the guy I’ve been seeing.” He shakes both of their hands.

“Nice to meet you guys.” He smiles.

“You’re dating (y/n)? Good luck.” Shayne teases, I roll my eyes.

“Don’t listen to him.”

Courtney looks over my shoulder and smiles. “Oh, look, Spencer’s here!” They wave him over, “Spencer! Come here!”

I feel breathing get just a little harder when I see a woman walking with him, holding his hand. She was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. I do my best to smile. Why the hell am I jealous? This was my idea.

“Hey, guys! This is Paris.”

Fuck, even her name.

“It’s really nice to meet you all, Spencey never shuts up about you guys.”

Spencey? Before I can realize it I let out an almost unnoticeable exhale of a laugh. Spencer shoots me a warning look. I swallow. By this point Shayne and Courtney have already greeted the pair and left, leaving the four of us alone.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Paris. I’m (y/n).” I give her a polite smile, she immediately gasps and wraps me in a hug. “Oh!” I laugh, lightly hugging her back.

“You’re the famous (y/n)? It’s so great to meet you!” She lets me out of her arms.

Fuck, and she’s adorably sweet. I guess I really have no reason not to like her.

“You too!” I awkwardly nod.

“I’m Derek, by the way.” He adds, shaking the hands of the pair.

“Spencer.”

There’s a small pause. Me and Spencer look at each other for a second.

“So, um- how did you two meet?” I ask, breaking the silence.

Paris goes on and on about their first meeting, they were both at a bar about a week ago and this was only their third date.

“Well, we should probably go mingle, it was really nice to meet you, Paris. Spencer, always a pleasure.” He nods towards me before Derek and I walk away.

We both grab a drink.

“So what was that about?”

I furrow my brows. “What was what about?”

“You and that guy? I don’t know, there was just weird tension. Do you guys not get along?”

“No, we’re really good friends actually.” I laugh.

I watch as Spencer stands there with his arm around her waist. My stomach turns.

“Oh…” he look back at Spencer. “So you guys hooked up?”

“What?” I say, a little too loud. “No! No, not at all… well, I mean, we kissed, but-“

“Oh, so he’s definitely still in love with you.”

I look around, confused.

“What?”

“Babe, come on, don’t play dumb. The way he looks at you… it’s like me and that chick weren’t even in the room.”

I scoff, shaking my head.

“That’s not true, Derek.”

He rolls his eyes, “look, we both knew this wasn’t actually going anywhere. I think you’re really cool but we were both just having fun.”

I sigh, nodding.

“It’s obvious there’s something between you two, I don’t want to get involved with that.”

“I understand.”

We hug and Derek decides to leave.

I’m walking through the office, trying to find someone alone or at least a small group. The last thing I want is a big crowd.

As I pass the games pod, I see spencer at his desk. Alone.

“You know this is a party, right?” I say, sitting on the couch.

Spencer whips his head back. “Oh, yeah I was just… I don’t know.” He shakes his head.

“Where’s Paris?”

He scoffs.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t know what this game is but I’m done playing.”

“What are you talking about?”

He narrows his eyes. “You were a bitch to her.”

“Sorry, what?” I stand, crossing my arms over my chest.

He meets my gaze by standing himself.

“She was super nice to you, (y/n) and you brushed her off.”

I stand there at a loss for words for a moment, looking anywhere but in his eyes. He was right, I wasn’t very nice to her. Shit.

“Im sorry.” I finally look at him. “You’re right, I was jealous.”

He sighs, running his hands down his face. “This was your idea, (y/n)! You don’t get to be jealous.”

I’ve never seen him this mad before. The glimmer in his eye is gone and suddenly I miss it. I screwed up.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

I look up at him. The way he’s glaring at me is something I never thought I’d ever see from him. It hurt.

“You’re so confusing. One day you just want to be friends and the next you’re all bitchy about the fact that I’m trying to move on! You wanted this-“

“Well, maybe I fucked up!” I shrug, dropping my arms as I sit back on the couch. My head is in my hands and I’m crying. Why am I crying? This is so embarrassing.

“(Y/n) I didn’t mean…” he sighs, sitting next to me. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry.”

He gently rubs my back as to comfort me, but it only makes he break down more. Spencer brings me into his chest.

After a few minutes I pull myself together, sitting up.

“This is pathetic, I’m sorry.” I laugh.

“No, it’s not.”

“Honestly… I thought it would be selfish for us to be together, but I think this is worse. Either way someone gets hurt.”

He runs a hand through my hair, twirling it in his fingers, giving me and sympathetic look.

“Yeah, you’re right. I ended it with Paris. I feel bad for doing it at a party but-“

“Wait what? Why would you do that?” I turn towards him, furrowing my brows.

“There was no future there… she took it surprisingly well, though.”

“Thats good. Derek left too.” I laugh.

“Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry.” He shakes his head.

I shrug, “no, it’s fine.”

“(Y/n)?”

“Yeah?”

He looks at the ground, elbows resting on his knees. “What now?”

That’s a good question. Where do we go from here? Maybe it is best for us to be together, but I’m not sure if the offer still stands.

“Well… I guess it’s up to you.” I shrug, “but if you’ll still have me… maybe we can try that kiss again?”

He looks over at me, sitting up. “Really?”

I nod. Spencer places his hand on my cheek, gently pulling me in. As our lips meet, I let it happen this time. Again, it feels right except, this time there’s no undertones of uncertainty. By the time we pull away, the glimmer in his eye has resurfaced.

I smile.

“How was that?” He whispers.

“Perfect.”

He pulls me into his embrace, tightly hugging me like he’s never going to let go. I sigh into his chest. This feels right.

“So, what do say we go back to my place, Spencey.” I tease, smirking.

Spencer lets out a loud laugh, “Shut up.”

#fanfiction #smosh cast #smosh games #smosh #spencer agnew x fem!reader #spencer agnew fanfiction #smosh spencer #spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew #smosh x reader

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deerlottie · 2 days

Note

So I had this fluffy little thought that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. It literally has me me knowing at the bars of my enclosure , so hear me out, you’re younger than the main Yellowjackets (tai, Van, nat, Shauna, Lottie, Laura Lee , and jackie) and you’re on the JV team, so they’re all super overprotective of you (like nat and Van tried to give you alcohol at a party once and it almost gave Jackie an aneurysm) . I’m thinking like , you know how javi carved the little wolf in the wilderness?, what if you did something similar for the girls? Like a bunny for Jackie, deer for Lottie , a wolf for Van, etc. (I’m definitely think you made a squirrel for tai, just because other tai climbs trees and shit, so you and Van think it’s funny). I wanted to see where you’d go with this, if you want you could make it a little angst like when they’re out the wilderness they still have the carvings, like if you survived or not, whatever you’re feeling.

I love your writing btw <3, just out of curiosity can I be ✨ anon?

nat and van would be menaces towards you like jackie's running slow-mo towards you when she sees them hand you a red solo cup and slaps it out of ur hand 😭😭 ur glued to her side the rest of the night. usually, it's only them who go out after games to celebrate but they always invite you to come along :( sometimes it's shauna driving you there and jackie's forced in the backseat for once in her life, and sometimes it's taissa driving you back home and she stays parked in ur driveway until she sees ur bedroom light turn on and you text her that you're safe :(

shauna's motherly instincts kick in FULL force when you guys crash. she's pretty sure she has a concussion but she's running everywhere searching for you. actually, All of their motherly instincts come in when shauna finds you unconscious and trapped under a piece of metal near the crash site. because i live for angst, i could see the plane blowing up just as shauna goes to run over to you. the blast hits you and sends you flying a bit, but you're alive with some burn marks and nasty cuts and bruised ribs. lottie offers you the rest of her food and cleans up ur wounds :(( she's almost crying as she does it because she cares about you so much, and she's telling you that the second they get rescued she's taking you out to ur favorite place.

you're close to javi since you're almost the same age, so it hurts when you see his dad like that. nat and van hold you close to them so you dont see it, but you hear the gnarly splat sound of his body as it hits the floor. they shush you as you cry and shake in their grip. when tai finds the lake, you can't really walk because of your injuries, so they take turns carrying you. you cant swim either of course, and you feel a bit left out so once jackie sees how sad you are she gets out and sits with you :(

if you died on impact or because of your injuries, they'd be devasted. i dont think it'd be like a jackie or javi situation where they'd eat you because they just crashed and still have hope of being rescued. but for some reason if you made it into the winter and then died, they would 😭 i don't think they'd eat ur heart tho :( they would bury it somewhere special. they're all sick and grief-stricken, and they can't even bring themselves to cut up your clothes for more warmth. nat sleeps with the necklace you'd always wear; she wouldn't wear it though, she'd just hold it in her hands for comfort. they all have like a group hallucination of you too. like maybe van's wearing your old shorts and it's been a bad day for shauna and she just hallucinates that van is you :(

#✨#yellowjackets thoughts 💭#and thank youuu sorrry for yapping LOL #yellowjackets x reader

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hanniebaeee · 3 days

Text

Flicker

Bang Chan x fem!reader

Warning: cursing, injury, kissing

Genre: angst, fluff

Summary: When Chris misses a dinner you were looking forward to, it makes you question your relationship. A fight ensues and it makes both of you regret a lot of things.

You couldn't stop the tears that seemed to cascade down your cheeks. Your heart felt heavy and an ache had settled over your chest. You refused to meet his eye.

'Y/N. Come on, you know how -' Chris wanted to tell you that he hadn't forgotten. He wanted to tell you that you meant the world to him. That he loved only you. But he knew that at this particular moment, nothing looked right.

You wouldn't talk to him and you wouldn't stop crying. The only sound in the room was that of your sniffs and little sobs.

'Baby, please.' Chris pleaded, taking a step closer. He tried to touch you, but you hissed at him not to even think of it.

'I'm so done, Christopher. I'm so fucking done with being your second option. I'm DONE.' You say, standing up and facing him. 'You can go and serve your boys and their girlfriends freely. I'm not gonna hold you back.'

'Y/N, don't be ridiculous!' Chris said, your choice of words annoying him.

'Oh I'm ridiculous? You think I'm ridiculous?! Wow.' Your sadness was turning into anger now. You wanted to hurt him. You wanted him to feel how hurt you were.

'Baby, she was sick. She wanted help. I didn't mean to stand you up. At the hospital, she didn't have anyone else to help her-' Chris said, knowing very well that this is only going to fuel your anger more.

'And why is that? Because she had a fight with her boyfriend and was too proud to call him for help? Seriously, Bang Chan. You are something else.' You snap.

Chris flinches at how you call him Bang Chan. But he doesn't say anything.

'My sister wanted to meet you, Chris. She came all the way here to meet you and you went to do what? I just don't understand.' You say, fresh tears making an appearance. 'You could've come for like 5 minutes. You decided to not even call me. Shows the kind of commitment you have towards me and our relationship.'

'Baby, please don't! I spoke to your sister and I apologized a hundred times for missing out. I feel bad for this, but I swear I didn't do it on purpose.' Chris said, sadly. 'Please forgive me.'

'No. I don't want to. I feel like an idiot for always putting you first. I didn't even go home for my last holiday because it was the only time YOU had time. And this is what you do to me. For a girl who refuses to even acknowledge my presence in your life. You should go be with her.'

'Y/N, we work together! She's nothing more than my colleague!' Chris snapped. 'She fainted for fucks sake!'

'I don't give a fuck.' You snap back. 'Why don't you just go and wipe her nose or something. Since she's so sick.'

'That's enough, Y/N.' He said, voice low and laced with anger. 'No more.'

'You make me want to vomit, Chris. Just, just-' You shake your head and walk to the door.

'Where are you going?' Chris asked, glancing at the clock. 'It's almost 1, Y/N.'

'What's it to you?' You ask with a scoff. 'If I stand here and listen to you for one more minute, I'll lose my mind.'

With that, you start walking out and towards the elevator. Sighing, Chris follows you.

'Baby, what's this behavior?' Chris asks, clearly exhausted now. 'I'm sorry. I really am.'

You ignore him. The jealousy and anger were at its peak now. You were usually a very forgiving person, but this was not such a situation. You were so excited for your sister to meet Chris. And your sister was very very excited to meet him, more so since she was a Stay since before you met Chris. And he fucks it all up.

You were blind with rage and the elevator seemed to take forever to just come and huffing with irritation, you make your way to the stairs. You were willing to go down 10 floors of stairs just to get away from Chris.

'Y/N, come on. What do you want me to do? Hm? What can I do to fix this?' Chris asked, following you again.

He grabs your arm as you were about to go down the stairs. He gave you a pleading look. He knew it always melted your heart.

'Are you really gonna play with my feelings right now, Bang Chan? Really?' You ask, your voice shaking with emotion. 'You wanna fix this? Why don't you go back in time and choose me over some random girl? Hm? Can you do that?'

'Baby, I'm so so so sorry. I promise I've learned my lesson. I will never-'

'Save it. It's all just words anyway.' You say and pull your arm away from his forcefully. What you forget is that you were standing at the edge of the staircase, and the force of your actions had you falling back, tumbling down the stairs.

Your eyes widen and you scream as you fall. Chris tries to grab you, screaming your name, but you were already falling. Your hand twisted in a funny way and it hurt so much, you didn't even know what was happening. You hit your head on the edge of a step and your spine on another. Everything seemed to blur as the pain took over. Chris had stopped your fall midway, but the damage was done.

He had you in his arms, and he was calling your name loudly, patting your cheek lightly.

'Y/N?! Baby, stay with me!'

You could see the tears on his face and the way his hands shook as he took out his phone and called an ambulance. The look of fear and desperation flickered over his handsome face. And your own thoughts flickering over your head, and you were way too tired all of a sudden. You didn't want to let go. You didn't want to pass out. Everything hurt so much you were afraid you wouldn't open your eyes again. You wanted to tell him that you were sorry. But your body wasn't in sync with you anymore.

You lost your consciousness halfway through his conversation with Minho. Chris cried so hard, trying to shake you awake. Your hand was a deep blue and swollen just below the elbow. There was a bruise forming over your cheekbone too. And one of your knees was bleeding.

Minho came running down the stairs in a few minutes, looking aghast and looking at you with worried eyes.

'What the hell happened?! Oh my God!' He didn't even know what to say.

The ambulance was there soon and you were taken to a hospital nearby. Chris kept crying and blaming himself for everything. If he hadn't missed dinner with your sister, everything would still be ok. You would be fine. He sat crumbled on one of the chairs outside the examination room, head pounding and feeling totally lost.

When you woke up the next day, the only one you wanted was Chris. He didn't sleep throughout the night, sitting by your bed, refusing to leave or even move from there. Finally when you opened your eyes and said his name, he was crying again, kissing your cheeks and face and apologizing repeatedly.

Minho on the other hand tried to talk to anyone who seemed to go in or out of your room. Finally the doctor was there and he said that you were doing ok. A broken hand and some bruises for now. But since you had hit your head pretty bad, so you could have a concussion. You hadn't woken up yet, so they wanted to wait and see.

'I'm sorry, Chris' you mumbled. 'I'm so sorry.'

'No no no' he said, 'You did nothing wrong. I promise I will never make you cry again. I promise.'

'I love you.' You say and when Chris kisses you, you try to smile through the pain. 'I'm glad I still have my boyfriend here to take care of me, even if we're fighting. Unlike your poor friend.'

Chris had to laugh at that.

'I'm always gonna be here for you. No matter what. Even if we fight. Or you stop wanting me. I will still always be here for you.' He said softly.

'I'll never stop wanting you.' You let him know and he nods, kissing you again.

The door opened and Minho steps in.

'Oh look who's awake!' He said brightly, setting down the food he had gone to get. 'How are you sweetie? They boys are dying to come and meet you, but i told them to wait till you are awake.'

'Not great' you say, pouting. But you smile when he hands you your favorite Leebit plushie (it was no secret that he was your bias!).

'Well, it should be some comfort to know that he cried for 10 hours straight.' Minho said, looking at Chris. His eyes were bloodshot and the lids so swollen and pink. 'He's never gonna leave you alone now. You have no idea what you've done.'

You look at Chris, and hold his hand tighter. Chris kissed your hand softly, smiling.

'Chris, we're at the airport. Now will be a good time to tell me where we're going.' You said, giving your boyfriend a look. 'Come on!!!'

Your arm was finally out of the cast and he had been waiting for this day. Bags were already packed and ready. Minho had dropped you both at the airport and he was still not saying anything.

'Christopher.'

'Patience baby'

You sigh.

But in another few minutes, you knew. You didn't say anything, afraid that you would start crying. It broke your heart a bit, but it made your heart swell with love for your lovely boyfriend. Chris just smiled and kissed you as he saw the realization on your face.

After a few hours of flying, your sister met you at the airport, throwing her arms around you and fangirling over Chris, who gave her a shy smile.

'So you didn't know?' She asked as she drove you all home.

'Nope.' You said, shaking your head.

'Aww, this is so cute!' She said, giving Chris a grateful smile. 'Mum and dad are so excited to meet you Chris. You're finally bringing him home!'

Later that night, you pull Chris into your old bedroom and kiss the hell out of him, not giving him a chance to breathe or say anything at all. And when you finally let him go, he gives you a look filled with so much love and adoration - you knew he was your happily ever after.

Chris was so shy in front of your parents, and they were so happy to finally meet the man who had stolen their daughter's heart. Initially they were doubtful about you dating a man from a different country, and a celebrity on top of that. They were worried that you would struggle with the culture difference and you would be homesick. Deciding to stay back in Korea had been a big decision for you as you had never been so far away from your family before. And now, your parents could see why. You were in love and he obviously made you really happy.

It melted your heart, seeing him mingling with your family so well. And it made you so needy for him.

a/n: I'm sorry, I love torturing myself with these angsty scenarios 😭

#skz #stray kids #skz stay #chris bang #christopher bang #bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x female reader #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader

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leonstoenailunderhisbed · 1 day

Text

After playing RE2R, RE4, and RE6, I can’t stop thinking about Leon and Ada. Their whole relationship both saddens me and angers me (bare with me, I can explain myself)

Um… it’s like 1AM and I really really really love analyzing resident evil. CAPCOM should hire me or something (I’m in desperate need of a job☠️)

Ada is a very mysterious character having known so little about her and her upbringing. All we know is that she’s a mercenary that makes it believe that she’s loyal to her employer when in reality, she willingly betrays Wesker and Simmons.

I don’t like that argument where people say Ada is a bad person because she betrayed Leon—because let me tell you: she didn’t.

I don’t think she 100% betrayed Leon (AND IM TIRED OF HER CHARACTER BEING BROUGHT DOWN AS JUST THAT BECAUSE SHES A REALLY COOL PERSON)

Sure, she got her hands on the Amber and she did kind of take the G-Sample when she fell into the abyss or wtv—but she still has that same sense of humanity she’s always kept.

I’d like to think of her as someone that lives through so many expectations that maybe she doesn’t know what she truly wants, until she met Leon. Leon is the type of guy, just like Chris, who cares so much about the people and keeping the world safe and free of danger. Even though Ada might be working with enemies in the future, she will always do what she thinks is right, hence her betrayals to her employers in the past.

The only reason she betrays everyone is because she betrayed herself in not knowing what she truly wants in the end.

I don’t really ship them (I don’t ship anyone, it makes me feel weird putting two characters together when I can just wait for the official statements) but they do give me that vibe of a “what if” relationship.

“What if?” They can’t indulge themselves in a relationship, sure they’ve hooked up, but how long until either one gets hurt that they can’t bear the thought of seeing the other again. The chase is fun, yes, but they both know that they’ll only get hurt.

It’s like the type of right person, wrong time type of thing but at the same time: is it love or infatuation?

They make me sad because I can’t fathom the idea of loving someone but not being able to be with them. Leon frequently has to choose whether to go with Ada or keep saving the world.

But he never really chooses Ada and Ada knows this just as much as he does that no matter how much you may love someone—you cannot ignore the obstacles thrown your way. It’s time to let go. In RE6, Ada basically says goodbye while Leon keeps her memory.

Idk man I be crying because of them.😔

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slowdivinqs · 14 hours

Text

I see as you are

Joel Miller x F!reader ( ~ 18+ MDNI ) 1,7K

…….……………

Summary: Joel refuses to change, that only means suffering for himself. He faces the consequences of choices he doesn’t want to admit he’s making.

Warnings: ANGST. This is literally all angst. No happy endings bc we keep things real. Mention of sex but no actual scenes of intimacy. Joel is MEAN! ( he doesn’t want to be though. ) Very detailed negative thinking patterns. Joel and reader sleep with each other, but there’s no real definition of what they are. Just generally a depressing vibe. Joel and reader smoke cigs. no use of y/n

A/N: First ever x reader fic and I’ve decided to come out with emo nonsense lol. I was listening to a song when I thought of this. link is below if you want to listen.

“It’s not good, It will never become good no matter how long you wait.” The words tumble, shaky in their exit, like a secret stolen out of a chest. It’s the truth, in its simplest and barest form. Lying out flat on the splintered railing of his back porch, the blood and the rot of it seeping into the wood.. “This is all I can give you.”

He looks over to you like your mind would’ve changed, like you’d have suddenly understood that he’s a monster. That he is exactly who he is. That you see the blood and the rot of it, too. That he himself is virulent, and cannot provide what you deserve. He finds no such thing in your eyes, or anywhere on your face for that matter. No trace of horror from the truth. No stains to be found. You look as though you’re not surprised in the slightest, blinking slowly. You look as though he’s just told you the sky is blue.

The truth of himself has only ever brought him and those around him pain. It irks him that you don’t seem to fit that standard and fills him with the need to shake you like a rattle by your shoulders until it finally seeps through your skull so you will understand.

He frowns at you instead.

“I don’t want it to be good, I just want it to be.”

Silly, silly girl he thinks. He is certain you do not know what you are asking for, as you don’t deserve it, and neither does he. His frown hardens as you look back out at the garden. The grass is dead and mushy with the rain constantly drowning it, puddles of muddy water with floating, brown grass stands. Dead trees lined up against the fence like a wall. You exhale your smoke. His eyes bore into your side profile, drinking up every minute tick of muscle, every inhale and exhale, every movement of your eyes, and the motion of your hair. He sometimes feels as though he should not even be looking at you. That he does not deserve to take in all of these details, does not deserve to think about you. You’re worth more and deserve more than to be trapped in his thoughts. He doesn’t want you there, anyway. He really really doesn’t.

He’s just so tired. Resigned to the loneliness that surrounds his shoulders. The surface-level happiness that comes when he’s on patrol with Tommy, Accepting the time he gets to spend with Ellie with a smile, even though he wants to scream and cry to have her back.

So, he knows he should force you away. For your own sake and his, but he never says anything to stop you when your molten cunt wraps around him so tightly like an all-encompassing embrace.

“No.” He says it simply, and that makes you laugh slightly before you turn to him. “No?” You repeat in question, blowing the smoke out of the corner of your mouth, the taste sticking to your tongue, the scent clinging to the both of you like dew.

“I can’t watch what I’ll do to you if you give me that.”

“You’re not a bad man, Joel-”

“Quit,” he begs. That’s what it is really. Stop being something he’s never had. Stop fighting for him - he can’t take it. Always the wet dog left outside. Always greeted with a sigh, his name an exasperated breath for most. He doesn’t want to fucking think about it anymore, he doesn’t want to look inwards. It hurts. He’s tired of the choking pressure in his throat every time he finds himself in his own company. No one by his side but his greatest enemy. He’s tired of being left outside, of having to witness the people he’s most loyal to enjoying dinner in a warm home with laughter while he sits in the downpour, staring through the window with not a glance his way. Goddamnit, Ellie brought Cat to dinner at Tommy’s house to ‘introduce her to the family’ - Joel didn’t find out until he accidentally overheard Cat asking Maria for her baked potato recipe, and he still finds himself crying about that every night he hasn’t drunken himself to sleep. He’s wryly impressed that he hasn’t run out of tears. He’s so defeated. His shoulders weigh a thousand pounds. His face is almost constantly crumpled in an uncontrollable display of sorrow.

“I’m not quitting you, Joel.” Insesant, annoying little girl. Stop makin’ this difficult and throwin’ a tantrum. you slowly climb into his arms after leaving the burning cigarette in the ashtray, wrapping your arms around his neck slowly, like he might spook - he probably would. He can’t look at you, not yet. He swallows thickly around the lump in his throat as you lean forward and rest your chin on his shoulder. Hugging him despite him not being able to hug you back. “I only want what you’re willing to give me.”

And you both know it sounds a little too much like love. He’s torn between the churning of his stomach and the temptation of your arms - of comfort that he knows will make him burst into tears and let everything out once he allows it. He’s not ready to face that.

Bristling at the mere thought and caving inwards in shame at the thought that the sharpness of his fear stabs you.

“Please don’t do this, sweetheart..” Because good god, you must have some sense of self-preservation, don’t you? He’s going to bleed you dry, he’s going to drown you in his sorrow and tears, he’s going to snuff out the last bits of shining light in your eyes you’ve managed to keep all these years.

Because that’s what he always does, doesn’t he? He ruined his relationship with Ellie with his selfishness, ruined the girl herself with his actions. He burst into tears when he accidentally caught a glimpse of what she wrote about herself in her journal. How she’s completely lost any light that used to live in her bright eyes. Curious eyes that saved him with their warmth and her golden laughter. Her stupid puns that she doesn’t even laugh at anymore.

He ruined his relationship with his little brother with his violence, his hatred. He remembers the little 7-year-old who thought his older brother was the best thing in the entire world. Who would cry whenever Joel left the house to hang out with his friends, Who would follow him around just to be by his big brother’s side, running through the long grass of Texas fields, playing cowboys and Indians with missing front teeth and scraped knees. Who now can’t even look at him without that look of sympathetic sadness. That look of disappointed acceptance. ‘I know you can’t help who you are, what a shame.’

“It hurts me to see you like this.” and that makes him want to thrash. Why do you care? Why are you grounding him? Why is he taking up space in your mind and being acknowledged? Your awareness of his pain only makes it real. A ghost doesn’t become real until two people have seen it, not really anyway. The fact that the little girl who he views as his own, hates him. The fact that he’s become a touchy subject - a disappointment - to his younger brother. That’s all real.

Because you see it too.

He feels as though he can’t breathe. If no one cared for him, everyone shut him outside to sleep in the rain, he could find acceptance in that. He could learn to curl himself into a ball and wait for someone to finally step outside so he can follow them until they leave him outside again, learn to deal with the nauseating chill. But here you are inviting him into your home, leaving the light on for him and waiting at your open door. Peakin with those bright little eyes and pensive expression. Inviting a dirty, wet dog into your clean, warm home.

“Then don’t look at me.” He knows he’s being petulant now. Knows that your frustration is mounting, and he feels quite happy about it. Yes, be angry with me - and leave me to sit in the rain. But your fingers are gripping the canvas fabric over his shoulders, no longer mourning. No longer soft.

“Why do you keep choosing to suffer?” It comes out as an accusation, and he guesses it is. It’s easier when it’s sharp like this. Mean and aggressive and fiery. It’s better than the putty-like feeling of hollow sadness that sits in his stomach when you try to coax him gently. Try to get him to choose happiness for himself.

“I’m not choosin’ anything.”

“Don’t talk shit to me.” He almost wants to laugh at that, “You’re choosing to stay exactly where you are. You’re choosing defeat, Joel!”

“And what the hell makes you think you’re some damn messiah?! That youre goin’ t’make me so damn over joyed?! You can’t give me anythin’ I want!” And oh, he’s so mean. So childish. He knows full well you could save him if he let you. Knows he’d feel so much better if he eventually mosied over to your open door, leaving that window of everything he yearns for behind, you’d give him a warm bath - turn him from some stinky outside dog into something that shows signs of being loved.

You get up off of his lap, standing still and facing away from him. Guilt immediately gnaws at his chest. His jaw tenses like that’ll chase the feeling away.

“It’s not about me, Joel,” you whisper, and he can tell you’re trying to fight off tears so he doesn’t feel bad.

God, his bottom lip quivers.

He hasn’t hated a single thing more than he hates himself.

“It never has been.”

You grab the slightly bent box of cigarettes, stuffed into your pocket with your lighter. You take two steps away before he speaks, staring at the splintered wood of his porch.

“Please don’t go,” he whispers, and your boots stop padding against the floor.

“You can’t even look at me, Joel.” You say simply, resignation in your voice now. White flag waving.

He doesn’t watch you walk away, he can’t.

a/n : tysm for reading! hope you enjoyed. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

#Spotify #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #the last of us fic #the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us 2 #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n

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