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uglypastels · 3 years

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Slide In // Frat!Tom

(a/n) I’ve never written this au before, in like a full fic i think, so i have no idea if this is good, but i had this idea in the middle of the night and yeah. I hope you guys enjoy. this may or may not have been inspired by a certain post @duskholland made about Tom and his mirror selfies <3 how amazing that he literally just posted one today lol

word count: 16.7k

warning: drinking, mention of drug use (weed), school, social anxiety, some smexy innuendos. i made some big last minute changes, so i hope its all coherent.

DEEPFAVE: Liking a photo (or any post) from over a year ago.

It was a cloudy morning, and it was early. Really really early. Not even the birds felt up to it, it felt like. The campus was slowly awakening or going to sleep (depending on if you had been to last night’s Delta Kappa party, of course).

It was cold, and the leaves fell off the branches with each huff of the morning breeze. The grass was wet from the previous night’s rain, and it soaked your ankles as you ran through the small grass field, in hopes to cut a bit off the distance to your lecture hall.

It had not been your fault that you overslept. You had gone to bed early; your backpack was already packed for the next morning. It was supposed to be a relaxing morning, perfect for easing back into it after a week of sleeping in and celebrating the holidays. How could you have expected that your roommate would barge into your dorm at 2 am, still whoo-ing her drunk ass in the corridor with other wasted idiots?

And it wasn’t like you were against all that partying and drinking. You would have gone yourself to the frat party, but it just didn’t sit right with you. A giant house full of intoxicated strangers- the anxiety running through you just thinking about it was making you shake.

So, instead of “living a little”, as your older brother called it, you preferred to stay in bed most evenings, either watching Netflix or reading a book. Yet, still, you had been kept awake for so long last night that you slept through your alarm. What was supposed to be a calm morning turned out to be ten minutes of rushed panic. Eventually, you had decided to skip most of your morning routine, including breakfast, brushing your hair or even putting on a decent outfit. You ran out of your dorm, clutching on to your bag, phone and keys.

Your hair was reasonably alright. It was still in the braid you had made before going to bed, but a lot of hair had fallen out during your slumber. When you looked in the mirror though, you saw that it looked decent so you let it be. Not so much could have been said for your outfit. You kept on the same shirt in which you slept in, which was a slightly oversized grey graphic tee from a random indie concert you had been to ages ago. Unfortunately, it was so cold that you couldn’t just go outside in your shorts, so had to spend a precious minute slipping into a pair of sweatpants that were actually not as bum-looking as you had feared.

Luckily, the walk (or in this situation, run) to the lecture hall was short. So, you survived with only a thick sweater over your arms.

And so, just like that, you were running through campus. The cold air was piercing your lungs as you inhaled deeply. Each breath started with this whistling sound, as you tried to ignore that pain, and ended in an exhale of a cloud of condensation. Maybe you weren’t in the best shape, but even this horrible experience would not make you sign up for the campus gym. No way.

You could see the lecture hall doors, the wide wooden panelling already towering over you, and you slowed down. You were trying to catch your breath and composure. As always, the doors were heavy and to add to it, the wood could not handle the temperature, so it was even harder to open them.

“Oh, let me,” you suddenly heard behind you, almost making you jump. The voice sounded familiar, but it wouldn’t click to a particular face just yet.

“Thanks,” you breathed out as an arm extended from behind you, clad in a leather jacket, and pushed the door open with ease. You followed the arm up with your eyes and saw how it connected to an actual person. Yes, you definitely recognised him. But what was his name again?

T- something starting with a T.

He smiled at you politely, nodding the gesture for you to go inside.

“Thanks,” you said again, before finally moving.

“No problem,” he was walking behind you but quickly caught up to your side. You saw in his hand a Starbucks coffee, which almost made your mouth water.

“Professor Dowling’s lecture, right?” he asked, before taking a sip. Your eyes unconsciously followed the movement as the need for caffeine was growing.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah,” you shook your head, focusing on anything but the delicious rich smell that you could sense coming from the cup—dark roast.

“Well, good to know I won’t be the only one late,” he chuckled. Troy? Was that his name? No. He didn’t look like a Troy.

“We’re not that late,” you checked your phone and cursed internally, “only… nine minutes.”

“Dowling doesn’t care if it’s nine minutes or nine hours. Late is late.” He took another sip. You had to look away before your stomach realised how empty it really was.

“True, I guess. Well, it was nice knowing you.” You sighed as you had reached the second door leading to the lecture room. Ty raised an eyebrow. No, his name was definitely not Ty. What was it?!

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Dowling is gonna kill us, isn’t he?” You explained, and he nodded in agreement.

He was again the one to slowly and quietly opened the door, giving you insight into the room. You almost yelled out in excitement when you saw that the lights had been somewhat dimmed for a slideshow that the professor was giving. You have Tim (nope, not Tim) a knowing look and smile. You had been saved. Then, the two of you slipped into the room, letting the doors close themself. You saw a few people turn their heads as you walked by together, searching for a seat, but you didn’t think much of it. You would have looked too if someone dared to be late for one of Dowling’s lectures.

Finally, you found an empty seat. Two, actually. It was in the back of the class, so you hoped that once the lights would go back on, Dowling wouldn’t immediately notice the addition of two more faces. The mystery guy, as you were too tired to think of more names and decided to give up, sat down next to you. He pulled out his laptop and turned it on, quickly putting it on the lowest setting of brightness. Just before he had opened it up, you noticed a few stickers. Between a few references from tv shows and movies, you saw the logo of Delta Kappa. You only recognised it because you had been seeing the logo on almost every notice board the last few days together with the campus-wide invitation for last night’s party.

So he was a frat boy.

You looked up to the side at him as you pulled out your laptop and notebook. The notebook was more for doodling than anything. But also to write down some more of the essential or just entertaining parts of the lecture, since you had come to realise that writing things down by hand helped you remember better.

Your heart stopped beating for a second as you opened your laptop, praying that no embarrassing tabs were open or, even worse, you still had Spotify playing on full blast. But you could let yourself relax when the laptop just showed you your desktop.

Right then, you could hear your stomach growl of hunger.

“Here,” suddenly T, as you decided to call him for the time being, slid over his coffee to your small desk. You looked up at him in confusion. He had a cap on, so there was not much you could see in the dark shadow, but you saw his sincere smile.

You thanked him before grabbing the cup. Since it was Starbucks, you hoped to learn his name finally. But instead, in black marker, was written “Holland”. Last name. Well, that was something.

_________________________________

“Thank you,” y/n said before grabbing the drink, taking a look at the name written on it, and taking a big sip of it, although she quickly pulled it away from her lips, her face distorted in a sour expression.

“Sorry,” Tom apologised, “my hand had slipped when I was pouring in the sugar.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” she whispered, still a bit disgusted, but it didn’t stop her from taking another large sip. “How can you drink this stuff?”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Tom grinned.

Times weren’t exactly desperate, in his case.

The party had been a massive success. Everyone seemed to have had a great time, and this time, not even at the cost of any of the frat house furniture. Sure, some people might have thrown up in the cooking pans, but that could be easily cleaned up by one of the pledges.

It all ended around 2 am, which was fairly early, but it was, of course, a school night. Tom remembered to drink water before going to sleep and woke up with only a mild headache. A few painkillers solved that pretty quickly. He got up, stumbled a bit over the mess around the house and was on his way to class.

He was sure he would have made it on time if it wasn’t for his usual appetite and need for coffee. Yes, he could have made it at home, but for some reason, the coffee from that machine always tasted like piss. And Tom did not want to find out why. So, it had almost become routine for him to stop by the Starbucks that was on the way from the house to the lecture halls.

What he had not expected was the giant line of customers inside. More people had felt the need for coffee after a wild night of partying. He recognised some girls, still wearing the same dresses they wore to the party. A few guys who looked like they were on the verge of death were sipping their drinks in the corner of the room. The two baristas were running around behind the counter, trying to make the drinks as fast as possible. As fellow students, they knew that there were a lot of people rushing to get to class, at least.

Tom had even looked at his phone, checking the time before he decided to step into the queue. He had majorly misjudged the time it would take the baristas to make the few drinks before it was his turn to order. In the meantime, people would walk up to him, also recognising him from the party, to tell Tom what a great time they had last night.

Finally, he got his drink and made his way over to the second station and poured in some sugar. For that extra kick of energy, but also, secretly, because he could not stand the bitterness of coffee. Then, it was really time to leave the crowd. Tom never really minded people and was definitely what you call a “social butterfly”, but there was always a limit. And the limit on a Monday morning was minimal. Even smaller, if you are still trying to get rid of a hangover.

He had just reached the main square of campus when he saw the big clock. He was already late, so it wouldn’t do much to run. Professor Dowling did not care for excuses or how late you were, even if it was a second. So he could as well just take his time.

Others had different ideas apparently.

Tom watched as someone ran across the grass, clutching on to their backpack. She stopped at the same door that he was heading for, so he got to have a good look first. The first thing he saw was the back of her head. Hair made up in a braid that was falling apart. A large black sweater, probably her boyfriend’s, was covering most of her frame.

She was trying to pull open the door that had the word PUSH on them, but Tom didn’t say anything. It was early, and by the looks of her, not that he was judging, she didn’t have a great morning.

When they had made eye contact, he recognised her from the lectures but did not think he had ever heard her name being mentioned. Professor Dowling loved interacting with the class, no matter how large, and often called out people to answer his absurd questions. She had never put her hand up to answer. Tom was sure of it; he would have remembered her name.

It interested him to see her pull out, not only a laptop but also a notebook. Did people even use those anymore? Even the dim light he could see the words scribbled on the cover. The decorative style did kind of make it hard to miss it.

Property of y/f/n.

So that was her name. Tom couldn’t help but smile to himself.

Having already missed the first ten minutes, he tried his best to focus on the words of the professor, but some things just couldn’t go unnoticed.

By the look y/n was giving his coffee cup, he could tell that she had not had any herself and the sound of her empty stomach as they sat next to each other only confirmed his suspicion. So, it only felt like the right thing to do to give her some. And the smile he got in return definitely made it worth it.

His attention was entirely gone by that point, as he watched her open her notebook. It was filled with little drawings. Some were more distinct than others. There were the classic five-petal flowers and the single mysterious eye with no other entity attached to it—also a few little scratchy tornadoes and random filigree. Patches of just lines and different patterns filled up the corners and extended out to the middle of the pages. Tom also definitely recognised a few attempts at bringing back the Super S in there.

But what also filled up the page were little characters. She must have drawn them during the lectures around Halloween because he recognised a little witch, stylised to the perfect amount of cuteness. There was also a cauldron of bats flying off to the side.

Tom could have looked at it for much longer and still find some more doodles in there, but unfortunately, she flipped the page. This one was blank. She took out a pen and started to doodle mindlessly.

First, a straight line, to which she attached little ovals. Lightly, but the lines got darker, the more she went over it. Then she made some more lighter lines across it. It made him chuckle when he recognised what it finally was—a piece of wheat. The way she stopped drawing for a second, Tom thought that she had not realised what she was drawing either. It was just a random coincidence where a few lines suddenly could make up an existing object. Then she continued.

From time to time she’d stop to make a note somewhere in the middle of the page, something that professor Dowling said that made her giggle. It was adorable to hear.

“Now, this,” Tom could hear the professor say from his little podium, the two little words shook everybody in the room awake because those they were code for IMPORTANT. As Dowling kept on talking, y/n closed her notebook and pulled her laptop closer to type. Tom had to pull himself together to focus on the actual lecture.

Then the sound of her stomach pulled him out of that. That was followed by the whisper of an angry “fuck”. Tom looked over to y/n again. She was trying to type something out, but her shaking fingers kept pressing the wrong buttons. She was crumbling apart from hunger.

Crumbling…

Suddenly, Tom remembered. He leaned down to look in his bag, hoping it was still there. It was.

“Hey,” he nudged her side, making her look up at him once more, with caution. He grabbed the small pack of Oreos and slid them over to her desk. She looked perplexed. Then she pushed the, slightly flat-looking, cookies back to Tom. He frowned.

“I thought I’m not supposed to be taking candy from strangers.” She whispered. Tom chuckled and pushed the pack of four cookies back to her.

“Well, good it’s not candy then. Eat. I can tell you’re starving.”

Y/n looked at the Oreos, not sure whether to take them or not, but her stomach answered for her. She opened her mouth, but then she closed it again and turned away. Tom understood it. It would have been the fourth time she would have said: “thank you”. By now, he got the message. As she opened the packet of cookies, Tom went back to listening to the lecture.

_________________________________

You hesitated before taking the cookies. Were they some kind of prank? You knew how frat guys loved to pull jokes on everyone, even if they were no better than middle school hijinks or cheesy April fools clichés. But the silver packet, except that it looked a bit flat, seemed to be untouched. Most likely because of getting squashed by something in his backpack.

You opened it and were immediately hit with the delicious whiff of chocolate. You took out one cookie and didn’t bother with the usual way of splitting it open to eat the filling first. You needed food. Now. Even if it were just four broken Oreo cookies. It was better than nothing.

Obviously, you were still hungry and in need of a proper breakfast, but the small snack helped you hold out for the rest of the lecture.

But now that your stomach was sorted for, you had another problem concentrating. Your new, still unnamed, friend tended to type very loudly. At first, you looked over in a bit of annoyance, which made you actually notice his hands. There was nothing special about them. They were naturally just hands, but the way he moved his fingers across the keyboard… it made you look back in that general direction a few times more.

Probably because of all these distractions, the usual hour and 45 minutes felt much shorter. Before you knew it, professor Dowling was saying his goodbyes and everyone around you started packing up their things.

Needing to get some food ASAP, you packed up your things and practically ran out of the room. Only as you were nearing the cafeteria did you realise that you had never said goodbye to your snack provider.

Shit.

_________________________________

“Hey, so I was thinking-” Tom was going to suggest grabbing a bite for breakfast together, being somewhat hungry himself, but when he looked up y/n had already packed her things and was on her way to the stairs, following the other students out the door.

Tom sank back down into his seat.

“Any problems, Mr Holland?” Tom’s head shot forward to see professor Dowling looking up at him. When he looked around, he saw he was the only one who had not started packing up.

“No, everything’s alright, sir,” Tom said before getting up with his laptop. “Great lecture. Learned a lot... and stuff.”

“Good, good,” Dowling said. His glasses were slipping off his nose slightly, so he pushed them back up with his middle finger. “I did not expect you to have heard anything, by the way you and miss y/n were chatting.”

The professor’s words made Tom’s cheek burn up as he pushed the laptop back into its place in his bag. That man saw everything.Suddenly he felt as if he was in middle school again.

“Try to not make it a habit.”

“No, sir,” Tom said.

Dowling just nodded, meaning the conversation had ended and giving Tom permission to sprint out of the room.

He wasn’t sure why he was in such a hurry. Maybe he was hoping to find y/n waiting outside the doors. He didn’t even know why he wanted to see her there. He just did. He had this urge just to watch her doodle in that notebook of hers. There was something so endearing about it.

Alas, no one was waiting for him outside that door. Or even in the proximity of it. There was no one but groups of students making their way from and to class.

Then, Tom realised that she must have run off to the cafeteria. Still, he decided against going there. As much as he wanted to talk to y/n again, he didn’t want to come off stalkerish. Besides, they’d have another class tomorrow. He could speak to her then.

“Ayo! Holland!” Tom looked over to a group of people he recognised to be his friends. They were gathered around one of the large windows that was open in the hallway. He waved to them before making his way over.

“What’s up, man? You looked like a lost puppy.” Jacob said.

“No nothing, I just zoned out a little, I guess.” Tom shook his head, clearing it off thoughts of y/n.

“Well, we were thinking,” his best friend and fellow Delta Kappa resident, Harrison joined in on the conversation, “There is this new bar opening next week. The… something- shit, what’s it called again?” He looked over at the rest of the group.

“The Sterling,” it was Zendaya that answered. She was sitting on the window sill with both legs in front of her, not living much space for anyone else to sit. She had something between her fingers, and Tom could not make out if it were a regular cigarette or a joint. (The smell insinuated at nicotine, so that answered for itself.) The fact that they were on campus did not make much difference to them. She took a drag and blew the smoke out, before handing it to Harrison.

“So, Holland, you’re in?”

“Yeah of course.” There’s nothing like the hysteria of drinking yourself sick in some new dingy place across campus. A new one would open up every few months because its predecessor would get shut down after too many accounts of selling alcohol to minors. It had almost become a game for younger students to see how quickly they can destroy a business. Tom and Harrison had been record holders for a while. Five weeks. Tom wasn’t exactly sure how anyone could tell they were the reason for The Six-Ball to close, but it didn’t matter. (“With a name like that, they deserve to shut down,” Harrison had joked before ordering two Long Island Iced Teas.)

Now that they were of the legal drinking age, of course, maybe it wasn’t as fun to go to those shitty holes in the wall, but with the right people, they made it a party every time.

“Nice! So-” Jacob started talking about how he thought the night had to go, but Tom was already zoned out again. Between Zendaya and Harrison, he had the perfect view of the small grass field. Some people had sat down there with their friends to enjoy the midday, but most people still considered it too cold to sit outside. But what Tom was looking at was behind the grass field. It was the cafeteria doors. He saw that large sweater again. y/n walked out, holding something that looked like a sandwich. Tom smiled to himself.

“What are you smiling about?” He got nudged in the ribs by someone.

“Oh, you know, the uhm-” he had no idea what the rest of his friends had been talking about to include in his lie.

“I know,” Harrison said, lounging his arm across Tom’s shoulder to point in the same direction that Tom had been looking at. Tom froze up when he pointed straight at y/n with his finger.

“Angela Pikowski.”

“What?” It took Tom a second, but indeed, right in front of y/n, stood Angela with her own group of friends. She laughed at something, whipping her bottle bleached blonde hair across her shoulder. He understood too, how Harrison had caught her so quickly in his vision, for she had her jacket open and her shirt was pretty tight and low cut. How did that girl not catch pneumonia or some shit?

“You ain't slick, bro.” Harrison patted him on the back. Tom, not wanting to get into it more than he needed, just grinned awkwardly. When he looked out into the square, Angela still stood there, but y/n was gone.

_________________________________

The campus food was never that good, but it didn’t matter. The feelings of having actual food in your body felt so good that it might as well have been a five-course meal from a three-star Michelin restaurant. While, in reality, it was just a little bacon, egg and salad sub on stale bread.

It did not matter.

You enjoyed your breakfast as you walked down the path, back to your dorm. After that horrendous morning, and the pretty… interesting lecture, you were ready to lock yourself up in a room and do nothing but watch Netflix. And thankfully, due to having only one morning class, you could actually do it too.

You said your polite “Hi”s and “Hello”s as you passed some other people you recognised from other classes. A bit hopefully, you were on the lookout for your (still nameless!) friend from the lecture. You really had to figure out what his name was.

By the time you had reached your dorm building, your sandwich was gone. A part of you was still hungry, but you ignored that. You were probably just bored anyway.

The dorm hall was basic in every way, from the carpeted grey floor to the plainly painted walls. But the inhabitants, of course, did try to give it some life. They hung up posters and banners, flags and lights. You reached the door that was decorated with a collage of different 80s glam rock artists and walked into your room. That college had been a little bonding experience with your roommate, Marie, during the very first week of Freshman year.

When you walked in, your eyes were immediately drawn to the lump on one of the beds. A groan erupted from underneath it when you switched on the light.

“Ruuuude,” Marie yelled out. She came out from beneath the sheets. Her hair was bigger than ever, and you could see the mascara and eyeshadow stains under her eyes, and there was still some glitter on her.

“You know, you should take off your make-up before going to sleep,” You said as you took off your sweater.

“You know, you should put some on before leaving the house,” she said before diving back underneath her sheets.

“Ouch,” you both laughed. But you couldn’t help but take a look in the mirror as you passed it. Maybe you could have used some concealer under your eyes, but it wasn’t that bad. Right?

The room the two of you lived in maybe wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either. You were definitely one of the luckier people in the building. Your room, after all, had just enough space for the two beds, desks and closets to mirror each other on each side of the room. You also went the extra way to put up some extra shelving on your side above the bed, since one closet was not enough.

“Didn’t you have class this morning as well?” you asked as you sat down on. You could hear something coming from Marie that resembled an “Mhm”. Not in the talking mood, got it.

So, in quiet, you pulled out your laptop and searched for something that did not look mind-numbingly dumb to watch, eventually settling for a show you had probably watched five times out of pure overwhelming of choice. After a while of moving around in your bed, you found a comfortable position at last and turned the show on, ready for a day of uninterrupted laziness.

_________________________________

Tom got home a bit later than he had hoped. After making plans for the next night, his friends were determined to go out for lunch as well. What he thought would be just a quick grab-and-go, turned out to be a full two-hour lunch where they talked about anything and nothing.

He loved the company of people, but not on Mondays. Mondays were his day to do nothing except for going to class, and Tom felt like he had already done too much.

When he did get back, people were still busy cleaning the aftermath of the party. It had gone a bit wilder than Tom remembered. Some jackass had decided to spray paint one of the upstairs hallways, and the colour was not easy to get off. Luckily, it had become almost a custom for all the house members to lock their doors during a party. For privacy sake firstly, but like anything at Delta Kappa, it turned a bit into a game.

The first two unlock their door, either if the person was too tired to stay at the party or wanted to bring a guest into their room, was obliged to do something horrible. It was up to the rest of the house to decide what. Fortunately for Tom, he had not been the first to unlock his door that night. That luck fell on poor Billy.

Even if it came to be so, the rule didn’t make sense because no one could check who the first one was to open their door and even if- it was not an official Delta Kappa rule. That meant that, even if the person got caught to be the first, they could simply deny the dare. They would be known as Head Chicken, of course, but there were worse things in life.

Tom moved up the stairs, saying hi to a few of his roommates, feeling very lucky as one of the senior members of the house, he did not have cleaning duty. Most of that was up to the pledges anyway.

He remembered when he had to do all those tasks and shit to get into the house. It was so stupid; he didn’t even understand why he chose to be in a fraternity, in the first place.

He did think the other guys had gone a bit softer on himself and Harrison since at the beginning of it all, they had been chosen by the sorority of Alpha Zeta Zeta as the favourites. Still, some unspeakable things had been done that year.

But now that he lived in a giant house with some of his best friends, it all felt like it was a bit worth it. He had a great time at Delta Kappa.

One of the best pros, by far, was that he had his own bedroom. Spacious for everything he needed plus a bit more. A large, unmade, bed waited for him when he opened the door. That, and the happy barks of Tessa.

“Hello, darling,” he bent down to pet her as she jumped to his knees. Tessa was the official mascot of the fraternity, but she had very early on found a great liking to Tom. It only took her a few days to get settled in his room, and from then on, she wouldn’t sleep anywhere else.

Tom moved up to his bed, and Tessa gladly joined him. She patted down a circle before lying down with her head on his chest, letting out a satisfied huff of air. Even if he wasn’t comfortable, Tom had no way out anymore. He was stuck. With nothing else to do, he took out his phone and went through his notifications.

Some texts from Harrison and Jacob, a missed call from that girl he made the mistake of giving her his number. People were getting Wi-fi again because he got at least twenty different Snapchat pictures and videos from the party.

What else there was plenty of, were Instagram mentions and tags. He went through the photos, smiling. It really had been a great party. Then, something popped up in his mind.

Property of: y/f/n

y/f/n

Could it be that easy? He could just search for her and hope to find her account. He typed it in. Her first name was already enough to get plenty of results. As always the profile pictures were too small to really make out a true identity, so he made his way through the accounts.

He only needed three tries, though. The picture already resembled her, so with hope, he clicked on the account.

This account is private. Follow this account to see their photos and videos.

Tom sighed. Not so easy after all. Then he saw the bio. It was a bit vague, just a few random emojis. But what interested him was the Followed by and the fifteen mutual followers that she had. It couldn’t be anyone else.

For some unknown reason, his heart was beating in his throat as he clicked on the blue Follow button and watched it turn grey. Now it was just a matter of waiting until his request got accepted. Or maybe denied. Who knows.

_________________________________

Watching a show for the fifth time got a bit boring. You could still laugh at the jokes, but at the same time, you could also almost flawlessly quote it as the scene went along. So, a few episodes in you took out your phone and started scrolling through various app feeds.

Marie had fallen back to sleep since you could hear her snore in her bed. And you were falling asleep slowly too. It was so warm in your room, and your bed was so soft and comfortable. Your eyes were getting heavier by the second.

Then a notification popped up, brightening up the screen in your hand. Half-awake, you tried to read it.

(your account): Tom Holland (@tomholland2013) has requested to follow you.

Tom? Your mind took a moment to process. Then the face finally clicked to the name. Tom! His name was Tom!

Without much further thought you accepted the request and before you even put your phone down, you fell asleep.

_________________________________

Not to sound desperate, Tom waited for a good half hour before rechecking his phone. He clicked on the Instagram app and the search icon. Her account was still the last one from the recent searches he made. Tom clicked on the account and, to his unexplained surprise, he was greeted with a gallery of pictures.

He had noticed earlier that the count on top of the page said 53 Posts. Interested, he clicked on the first one. It was a picture of a coffee cup. It wasn’t tagged, but Tom recognised it to be from that café Le Moulin. He saw the distinctive black windmill on the napkin that could not be missed.

He scrolled down.

It was a selfie from last summer. The filter slightly enhanced her bright smile on the picture, but Tom could tell it was more to show off the warm atmosphere of her holiday destination. The next photo was from the same holiday, he assumed, of her and a group of friends. He recognised the girls from campus. When he tapped the picture for the tags, he saw their names. @tiffani.btx @bonne_marie @lucywithnodiamonds

He thought to have spotted that Marie chick at the party. She was French if he remembered correctly. She was definitely a wild one. Might have even grinded up against him during one of the better songs that were played.

There were some more selfies, solo and with friends, sunsets and landscapes. The picture quality got worse as he scrolled down. It matched with the timeline. People should not be keeping up their pictures from seven years ago, especially not with all those fucked up filters they used back then. Tom was, of course, one of those people.

He scrolled to the last picture; it was of a dog—one of the cutest little labrador puppies.

Out of nowhere, Tessa barked in her sleep, making Tom jump up. This sudden movement, in its turn, woke the dog up completely. Tessa kept barking.

“Right, I think it’s time for a walk, what do you think?” He patted Tessa on the head as she tried to lick his arm. Tom got up and was about to leave his room when he realised he almost forgot his phone. The screen hadn’t turned off yet, so he looked at the puppy again. But something was off this time. Something had changed.

The little blank heart under the image- it was now pink.

He accidentally liked her oldest picture.

_________________________________

There were two types of naps. Those that made you feel amazing and refreshed by the time you got up. And those that made you feel like you had fallen asleep on a bed of rocks. You felt even worse than before when you woke up. Your head was throbbing, and your bra had pushed itself into every possible part of your chest, making it that much more uncomfortable.

“What time is it?” you asked Marie, but she was still asleep.

The light of your phone almost blinded you, so you quickly put down the brightness. It was around four o’clock. Meaning you had slept for a good three hours.

Besides the time, you checked your notifications. There were not a lot of them. A few spam emails, a few texts in a group chat you never responded too and… a like on Instagram?

tomholland2013 liked your photo. 1 h

You had to think back to the moment before your nap to remember that he had in fact requested to follow you. And you had accepted it.

You clicked on the notification, and it sent you to the liked picture. To your surprise, it was the picture of your family dog, Spot. Your family had picked the name even though he was a completely yellow labrador, loving the irony.

It was your first-ever picture, from over seven years ago. Had he been stalking your account? Why the fuck would he do that?

Well, you thought, it was only fair if I do it too. So, through the like, you made your way over to his account.

First thing you noticed was the number of followers he had. 15.7k How the fuck do people even get those numbers? Well, it’s easier if you’re a hot frat guy, of course.

His profile picture was a mirror selfie, and clearly, it was his favourite composition, for at least five out of the first nine pictures in the gallery were the same style. All full-body reflections, with him holding the phone in his right hand, leaning his head a bit to look at the screen as he took the picture. His lips weren’t exactly in a smirk, but there was that cockiness in there. He really was feeling it, that was obvious.

The first picture was a classic mirror pose- A black jacket and a black hat: the same outfit he had been wearing in class. You looked at the timestamp and saw that he only posted it an hour ago. Already it had dozens of comments and a low thousand amount of likes.

You scrolled down. A denim jacket and beanie in the mirror; a grey t-shirt and sweats in the mirror; a black suit in the mirror, the list could go on. There were other pictures, mostly from the frat house parties and other events where alcohol played a significant role. There were also the occasional front camera selfies.

You couldn’t help but look at those a little bit longer. There was something about that small tight smile that he made that was so cute. In one of the more saturated pictures, with a deeper shadow, you noticed that his nose actually had a little bump in it, most likely from breaking it in the past.

But just from likes alone, you could tell that the mirror was a public favourite.

There was something about the confidence that the pictures portrayed that spoke to you.. He knew he looked good, and no one could deny it. Except, he looked so much better than good.

It was interesting to be scrolling down his posts because it was like a trip back in time. At first, it didn’t wasn’t that obvious, just maybe a change in temperature during the year that was referenced through his clothing. Then it showed a bit more as his hair started to get shorter by each picture taken. It got shorter and shorter until his hair was not much more than a buzz. The reason for the drastic hair change was explained in the next picture.

You had already scrolled down four years worth of pictures, and this one was of him (taken by someone else). Tom was standing in a victory stance on a grass field, which you recognised to be the campus square. He was only wearing boxer shorts and on his chest was painted, in bright blue paint, 𝜟K. Underneath the post, read the caption: Delta Kappa babyyy! with a bunch of other hashtags. One that was included was #deltakappapledge #initiated. Of course, it was during his pledge period.

You kind of hoped that he had to do more than just shave off his hair because he didn’t even look half that bad. It even suited him actually. Hoping to find some more evidence of that embarrassing period, you scrolled on.

The sound that came out of your mouth as you scrolled to the next picture was inhumane. Keeping to tradition, it was a mirror selfie. Behind him seemed to be some workout equipment, possibly from the campus gym, but no one would look at that. Everyone would be too focused on what was in the foreground.

It was Tom standing in front of a mirror, chest glistening with sweat as his hair draped in front of his eyes. Instead of the usual pose, he stood sideways, showing off not only his flexed bicep as he took the picture, but also the outline of all his other muscles.

Completely forgetting what you were doing, you double-tapped the post. How could you not? Only a second later, did your monkey brain realise what you had done. You had made that exact same mistake as Tom. Except while he had liked a picture of a cute dog, you had made your mark on a shirtless selfie.

As the pure humiliation flooded over you, you threw your phone to the other end of the bed with a squeak.

What’s done was done.

_________________________________

Tom came back from the walk with Tessa after an hour. They both enjoyed a long walk around the park neighbouring the campus, just to then pretend like they were too exhausted and lay in bed the rest of the day. Well, Tom pretended. Tessa seemed legitimately tired.

They went back to their position on the bed. Not sure what else to do, Tom got back to Instagram. There was no reaction to his accidental like yet. Not even a follow back from y/n. A bit rude but okay, maybe she hadn’t seen it yet?

He shook his head. He didn’t like this weird side of him. Where had it even come from? Since when did he wait for anyone to respond to him? And they weren’t even having a conversation!

Having nothing else to do, he searched through his phone gallery for a good picture to post. He chose one he had taken during lunch, on his way from the bathroom. It was still crazy that his friends wanted to go to a place where you needed to take an elevator to go to the toilet.

He didn’t care for editing, so he went through the usual Instagram process of making a post, thought of some dumb caption and send it out into the internet. Soon enough, as if they had a notification on for his activities, the likes streamed in. For the first few minutes, he tried to look through them, again hoping that y/n would be one of the likes or the heart eyes emojis in the comments, but quickly it became too much, and Tom couldn’t keep up. He still enjoyed reading the comments.

Of course, it was all one big ego boost. The praise and compliments, even if it was for something as shallow as his looks, definitely gave him a good kick of dopamine and all those other happy chemicals during the day.

Tessa was snoring and drooling on his belly as Tom went through his timeline and explore page. There was not much exciting happening in peoples’ lives, but it made the time flow by faster. An hour had gone by probably when he decided to recheck his activities. His new picture already had a few thousand likes and was close to reaching a hundred comments. He went through some of them and either liked them or responded with a matching emoji.

But as he scrolled through the activity, he saw a like that was to a different picture. A rather old one too, just from the beginning of college. And who might have liked this picture? y/n

She liked a workout selfie, huh?

With the confidence that the like gave him, Tom clicked on her account and the message button. He thought about what to send for a moment but decided against overthinking it and went with a simple-

_________________________________

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: Hi

You looked at the notification for a while. He definitely saw you had liked his old picture. Was he going to make fun of you? Tease you how you had outed yourself for thirsting over him?

But maybe he just wants to talk? You tried to sound optimistic to yourself. After all, he did like an old picture of yours too. You were kind of in the same boat.

Putting all worries aside, you clicked on that damn nerve-wracking notification, and without much more thought send out the reply.

(y/n)

Hey :)

Before you could even send out the smiley, the message rose to reveal “SEEN” beneath it. Was this happening? Was it? You could see he was typing.

(tomholland2013)

After stalking me you could have at least followed me back lol

(y/n)

Right sorry just a lot of mirror selfies. Thought i’d seen everything there is to see 😂

(tomholland2013)

Rude Seen anything you like though? ;)

Uhhh, of course, you have. You liked it. A lot. But you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction.

(y/n)

No not really

Quickly change the subject.

So what are you up to?

Good enough subject?

(tomholland2013)

Just lying in bed with Tess

Tess? Who was Tess? Did he have a girlfriend? If he did, he would have posted something on his Instagram, right? That’s what couples did? Unless it was just a one time fling. You couldn’t even call it a one-night stand since it wasn’t even night.

Wait, why did you even care about that? You had literally only said hello to each other and shared a coffee during class.

But the curiosity was gnawing at you.

(y/n)

Tess?

(tomholland2013)

Yeah, she’s falling asleep on my chest. Kinda tired her out lol

You looked at the text, unsure how to respond, or even if to do it. Was he telling you about his hookup? It didn’t sound like the nice guy you had met in front of the lecture hall, and that gave you his leftover coffee and Oreos. Your face wrenched into a grimace, not sure anymore what to make of this conversation or of what had happened during class.

He was typing again.

Wanna see?

Jesus Christ, this was a mistake. You didn’t respond, but he still sent you a picture anyway. It was a timer, unfortunately, meaning you had to click on it to see what he had sent. But he could see you got the message and that you were online. The longer you took, the more prominent you would make it that something was wrong, and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He had given you his coffee.

The curiosity got the better of you once again, though, and you clicked on the little bomb. What popped up was almost what you expected- but at the same time, so not. Before your brain properly processed what you were looking at, you were scared that he had sent you an unsolicited dick pic, but it was the furthest thing from that.

What you saw was a POV shot of his chest and legs. He was indeed lying on his bed. On his chest, however, was the head of a grey silver dog. “Tess” had her eyes closed peacefully as she slept on.

Of course, it was a dog.

You decided to be honest. For the benefit of the conversation, if anything.

(y/n)

Omg 💀

(tomholland2013)

We just came back from a long walk, so she’s pretty knackered What? Did you think I meant something else?

Embarrassment kicked in anyway.

(y/n)

No... lol

(tomholland2013)

You sooo did lmao Jealous much ;)

(y/n)

Of the dog maybe

(tomholland2013)

Cause she gets to be here with me?

(y/n)

No I meant it like She’s so cute I want one

(tomholland2013)

Relax I was just messing with you But if you ever wanna come over

(y/n)

Maybe another time

The response came out in a panic. Had he invited you for what you thought he did? No, there was no way he did. Besides, you couldn’t go to his house. You barely knew the guy- your mind kept on whirring about it. But the conversation continued.

Soon the sun had gone down, and it got dark outside, but the messages kept coming in. At one point Marie finally woke up from her hangover slumber. Drowsily she got up and headed for the shower with a towel and toiletries bag in her hand. Before she left, though. She asked you if you could prepare something to eat for dinner since she was starving. You being you, agreed.

(y/n)

Hey, I think I gotta go for a bit. Gotta make dinner for my roommate

(tomholland2013)

What’s on the menu?

(y/n)

Probably spicy ramen?

(tomholland2013)

Damn. sounds good But can’t she make it herself?

_________________________________

A part of Tom wanted to send another message. I want to keep talking to you. But that felt like a bit much. She was typing again anyway.

(y/n)

Because she’s still hungover from your party lol Thank for that btw

(tomholland2013)

You make it sound like i am personally responsible

(y/n)

Well your the only guy from DK i know so you’re** 💀fml. There go my chances of an english degree

(tomholland2013)

Nah babe YOU’RE good ;)

_________________________________

Your heart fluttered at the little word, for no reason. It was just a text message. He probably called every girl he texted that. Still, the sentiment was there. Also that winky face of his. Could he stop?

He started to type again.

(tomholland2013)

But if you ever wanna meet the other guys, you really are welcome to come over.

(y/n)

I’m good thanks.

Going to a frat house alone? You felt like that could easily be the start of your personal horror movie. It would absolutely crash at the box office, but that didn’t matter. And it was the second time he invited you to come over. If it was a hint, it wasn’t a subtle one. It didn’t stop you from doubting it.

(tomholland2013)

No need to be scared. They’re pretty chill dudes.

It was cute how he could read your mind because you were undoubtedly scared, but what he probably did not think was that you weren’t interested in meeting any other frat guy because there was only one on your mind at the moment.

(y/n)

Maybe another time ttyl?

You had sent the last message in the hopes that he had as much fun talking to you as you did with him. You watched eagerly as the three dots danced around on the screen while he typed out his answer.

(tomholland2013)

Absolutely

_________________________________

Tom turned his phone off with a smile covering his face. He had just spent talking a good two hours to y/n, and he had to admit, he hadn’t had that pleasant of a conversation with anyone in a long time. It was just so easy to talk to her. It might be partly because it was only texts. But still, she was funny, sweet, and so pretty...

Unbeknown to himself, he was falling a little bit for y/n. Although, maybe he did feel it coming. The idea of getting another text from her made his face heat up. The idea of seeing her in class the next day almost made him… giddy. And it’s only been a day.

“Hey, man,” there came a knock on his door. “Better hide anything that would make it awkward between us cause I’m coming inside in 3-2-1-”

“‘S all good,” Tom said right as Harrison walked through the door.

“We’re gonna order pizza, what do you want?”

“Just the usual, I guess,’ Tom shrugged. Honestly, he didn’t really feel like eating pizza but to be the only one that wasn’t having any wasn’t a good strategy either.

“Alright, then.” As quickly as he walked in, Harrison was also leaving the room. But he peeked his head through the door once more before actually walking away.

“Hey, are you sure you’re good?” Harrison looked at him through narrow eyes.

“Yeah,” Tom answered as he prodded himself to sit up. “Why?”

“I don’t know… Nevermind.” And with that, Harrison left to share Tom’s order.

It was a rare occasion that all the house members would be at home on a night that wasn’t reserved for a party. That night, when it came to dinner, it was around 8 of them. Everyone was already sitting on the couches when Tom came downstairs to grab his pizza. He grabbed a chair and his box and sat down. A football game was playing on tv, and it made Tom roll his eyes. He still had no real idea of how football was supposed to work. He always preferred golf or basketball, or even baseball.

The guys cheered at a touchdown or whatever but all Tom could focus on was his phone. He kept checking if there were any notifications from y/n. So far, there was nothing. She was probably busy, he told himself, not wanting to feel too disappointed.

_________________________________

“So who were you texting back then?” Marie said as she slurped on her noodles. You were playing around with your own portion a bit, not really in the eating mindset.

“Huh? No one.” you shook your head.

“So it is someone. C’mon. Who is it?” She extended her leg to poke yours. She kept going until you finally gave in.

“Just this guy from Dowling’s class.” you finally took a bite of ramen.

“Aaand does this guy have a name?” Marie kept on asking.

You looked up from your cup of noodles. “Tom… Holland.”

Marie gasped, almost dropping her food onto her lap. “Tom Holland? As in Delta Kappa Tom Holland?’ you nodded your head yes. “No fucking way.”

“What?” Not the most nuanced reaction, but it would do.

“No way you have a crush on Tom fucking Holland.” You always noticed that when Marie cursed her French accent would show up again. Just the slightest bit. This time, however, what you stayed on was her statement.

“I do not!” you said as your cheeks were heating up.

“Ohhh, you do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said ‘nobody’. Everybody knows that ‘nobody’ is code for either crush, boyfriend, or drug dealer. And I think we can exclude the last option.” you were going to protest, but you would have only been fooling yourself.

“So, hypothetically, let’s say I do have a crush on him. Why did you scream out ‘No way’?” You bit your lip, a bit scared for an answer.

“No, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that.” Marie put down her ramen on her desk and came to sit down next to you on your bed. “I didn’t mean that you, like, don’t have a chance with him. Please, if anything, you’re too good for him.’ you both chuckled. “I just didn’t think he’d be your type.”

“What, hot?” You raised an eyebrow to which she slapped your shoulder.

“You’re being difficult. I mean, so… out there. You know, he’s basically the leader of that frat house, he always parties, always has stuff to go to. And you’re… well, pretty much the exact opposite. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Completely not. I just don’t want you to put yourself in any positions that you’re uncomfortable with to impress him or anything. Remember, you are too good for him.”

“Thanks.” you hugged her from the side. “But don’t you think that it would be good for me to go out once in a while? Out of my comfort zone?”

“Sure, if you’re actually doing it for you. Not some guy.”

“He is really nice, you know.” you smiled, remembering what had happened that morning. You went on telling Marie about it.

“Oh, so he’s got a crush on you too, huh? That works out perfectly. ” She finally said when you were done telling your story. You looked at her with wide eyes.

“What? Noooo,” you said, letting an awkward laugh escape through the no.

“Fine, whatever,” Marie moved back to her own bed and grabbed her cup of ramen. “But I bet you that if you check your phone now, you’ll have at least one message from him.”

You rolled your eyes again but grabbed your phone either way. And, fair enough, you had two notifications from ten minutes ago.

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: Heyy

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: I hope the ramens good

Holding in your smile, and ignoring the smart ass comments of Marie, you replied quickly.

(y/n)

It was :)

_________________________________

The speed at which Tom checked his phone when he felt the vibration in his pocket could have caused someone severe whiplash. He responded to the text and got up. Ultimately, he had hoped that he could slip out the room unnoticed, but he never got what he wanted, did he?

“Where are you going?” It was Dave that saw him get up. Tom stopped in his tracks like a little kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Just up to my room. Feelin’ a bit tired.’ He explained. This answer received several strange and confused looks, but Tom ignored those and just walked upstairs without saying another word. He plopped down onto his bed. Tessa was still downstairs under the table chewing on some pizza crusts, so he was finally alone.

The texting continued through the whole night, and Tom had wholly lost the sense of time. He didn’t even feel tired. If it wasn’t for y/n saying that she was about to fall asleep, he wouldn’t at least. Like that, the windshield crashed, and he felt the fatigue from the hours of messaging and staring at a screen overwhelm him. He just about managed to send out goodnight before his eyelids were too heavy to open up again.

_________________________________

The next morning you woke up feeling much better than either time the day before. Fresh and energised, with plenty of time to get ready before class started. Not that you really put much effort into how you looked for the morning lectures. It was more mental preparation. With enough time to eat breakfast, shower and brush your teeth, you felt excellent walking out the door. Dressed in a sweater that was warmer than two jackets and some loose jeans. With your bag over your shoulder.

You always thought the walk from your dorm to the lecture halls was delightful. The path leading toward it was enveloped in a tunnel of trees, and during the end of the year, when the leaves were turning into their auburn and golden shades, it almost felt warmer than in summer. Because the harsh wind still kept up with its schedule. It blew in your face as you walked, rubbing against your cheeks.

When you got there, the lecture hall was still relatively empty. Only a few other people had taken their seats. This was the crucial moment of choosing your seat. Against all your own instincts, you walked down to the bottom of the auditorium, into the fourth row. You had never sat that closer to professor Dowling’s podium, too scared you would be too easy to notice and called to answer a question. But something in you told you to be brave.

Besides, you had the idea that Tom wasn’t eager to sit there either.

As much as those butterflies in your stomach fluttered at his mention, you didn’t want to talk to him now, not during class. You needed to pass this class badly and to do that, you needed to focus. Something you could not do with him sitting next to you.

That’s what you told yourself. It was, of course, true, but the bigger problem was that you were scared. Tom sounded like a nice guy, a very good looking nice guy, but Marie’s words played in your head. He was from a completely different world. And it was a scary one. Why not keep a bit of a safe distance at first?

So, you kept your head buried in your notebook as people started to stream into the room. One by one, the seats around you were getting occupied—none of them by Tom, for better or for worse.

_________________________________

It had taken Tom a while to find y/n. He walked into the room, thinking he had come in with plenty of time to spare, but as he was making his way down the steps, the professor was already making his way to the podium. Tom tried to look around the room as quickly as he could, but he could not see her. Where was she?

Professor Dowling coughed loudly, indicating for everyone to shut up and sit down, so he could start the lecture. Tom took the first empty seat he saw. An aisle seat somewhere around the 8th row. The course started, but Tom’s eyes stayed on the seats, looking for that braid.

It wasn’t a brilliant plan, because he had no idea if she had actually kept that braid in for another day. And she had not, in fact. He noticed her, sitting somewhere at the bottom of the class, as she grabbed her hair and was pulling it up into a bun. She did it so quickly, so smoothly, without ever letting her attention get away from her. Focused on the class. He could really learn something from her.

And he tried to take a page from her book as he finally looked ahead of him to see Dowling write an entire essay on the blackboard. He cursed himself and quickly started to type everything over. His fingers went in fully automatic mode, and he had no more idea what the words he was typing actually meant.

His mind had wandered off once again. He couldn’t stop feeling that disappointing pull at his heartstrings. He had hoped they could have had a repeat of yesterday. She apparently thought differently. Or maybe she had hoped he would sit next to her, but he was just too slow?

The lecture went on forever, felt like. Tom’s fingers were cramping up from typing so much, and he could feel his back beginning to hurt in the uncomfortable chair. He kept stealing quick glances at y/n, hoping to catch her in doing the same, but she had not moved once.

He had to get a grip. They had known each other for one day, spoken maybe ten sentences to each other in person. The rest was all through text. And nothing was the same via messages. Maybe all his feelings were coming from the entirely wrong place? Perhaps she was just polite, and he had misinterpreted it for casual flirting? Besides, there was that sweater of hers yesterday- what if she had a boyfriend?

But a part of him still wanted to ignore all those signs and go for it. So, when the bell rang, and professor Dowling finally dismissed the class, Tom made sure he was one of the first ones outside. The large hall had two exits, so he stood against a wall, somewhere in the middle between both doors, hoping to catch y/n as she was walking out.

The loud rumbling of thunder caught his attention momentarily.

It was just a second, he swore to himself. But the second was enough to miss her. Somehow she had escaped him, nowhere to be found.

_________________________________

You had seen Tom waiting out in front of the room, and you felt horrible for walking the exact opposite direction. For the sake of your own feelings, you didn’t look back at any point on your way to your second lecture.

As Professor Phillips spoke, you felt your phone vibrate.

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: where are you? :)

The little smiley made heat up in the cheeks, but you tried to ignore that as you typed out a response. You didn’t even click the notification to go to the app, just responded through the shortcut.

(y/n): had another class

Another notification popped up not long after.

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: wanna meet up later?

(y/n): ngl I don’t feel well, will probably head back home right after

(y/n): but i’d love to chat

You shut off your phone, too scared to see the reply. Maybe it wasn’t the best move since you could not think about anything else for the remainder of the class. When you checked your phone again on your way back to the dorms your heart was lifted.

(tomholland2013): Tom Holland: of course. hope you feel better <3

_________________________________

Tom tried to think that she wasn’t avoiding him. After all, they texted almost every possible second that they had the time for the past week

They had talked about pretty much anything and everything. And it felt great. The way they spoke to each other, or at least Tom to her, was as if they had known each other for ages.

Tom only wished he could do that with her from across a table, or a on a bench. Where ever, he didn’t care. He wanted to be able to look into her eyes as they talked and see her smile. Hear that lol and not just imagine it.

Unfortunately, y/n was kind of giving him the cold shoulder in the real life. She ignored him during classes, and was gone before he could get the chance to talk to her. Whenever he asked if they could meet, she’d give him some reason she couldn’t. If it wasn’t for the fact that they had actually already met in real life, he had vary valid reasons to think he was being catfished.

Another reason could have been that she sounded too perfect.

It was the next Tuesday already, and Tom was waiting eagerly for the lecture to end. It had been a full week and he had decided, while copying some of Dowling’s notes, that he would talk to y/n today. After class.

Tomorrow would be the opening of the Sterling and he wanted to ask her if she wanted to come.Or at least to know if she wanted to hang out ever. If the truth came to be no, he would be fine with that. He respected that. He just needed to know. It wouldn’t take away from the fact how great it was to have someone to talk to, even if it was only through text bubbles.

The bell rang and Tom sprinted out. He kept his eyes on both doors as best as possible and finally saw her.

_________________________________

“Hey, y/n!” you heard your name being called from behind you. It was from Tom. He waved to you so would come over. Taking a deep breath, you decided to wave back, but your legs were frozen in place.

You felt absolutely terrible for ignoring him and denying his various invitations to hang out or to go anywhere, but it was just too terrifying. You were scared of fucking it up. Of it to turn out to be one big joke. You had heard of frat guys using dates and hookups as dares and shit. You didn’t want that. You couldn’t let that happen.

But when you saw Tom smile at you, those worries suddenly disappeared and your legs moved without connecting to your brain. Suddenly, you found your spot next to him.

He had been leaning against the wall with one foot, his arms crossed. You decided to lean against it with your shoulder. Even though you had your sweater, you could feel the grizzly texture of the bare red brick. He smiled and mirrored your movement, so you were only a few inches apart. ,

“Hey,” he said, still with the smile on his face.

“Hey,” you replied.

Tom uncrossed his arms to brush his fingers through his hair. As you watched him do so, you couldn’t help imagine how it would feel to play with his hair. It looked so soft.

“I just wanted to say,” he licked his lips. You were so close to each other that you could see how pink and chapped they were. Focus. “How much fun I had the past week. It’s bee really great talking to you.”

“I had fun too,” you said. It really was nice talking to Tom. Especially now, standing so close to him, you could smell the coffee he had consumed that morning. Was it pumpkin spice? You felt stupid for not letting it happen sooner.

“Great, that’s- that’s really great to hear. I said great already, didn’t I?” He laughed, shaking his head, “Anyway, I was thinking: a couple of friends of mine are going to the opening of this new bar, the Sterling, it’s probably going to be a bit boring, but I thought, maybe you’d like to come? With me?” He looked at you with those big brown eyes. Your mind started racing a million miles an hour at his words. The fuzzy warm feeling that you got from looking at his smile was dispersing and setting in for anxiety.

He wanted you to go to a bar with him and his friends? Would that be considered a date? For the sake of your dignity, you decided against asking for clarification. It didn’t matter. You couldn’t go to some dingy bar with strangers, even if one of them was Tom. You could already feel your body heating up in anxiety as all the horrible scenarios played out in your head.

You realised you had been quiet for a while and Tom was still looking at you hopefully.

“No,” you blurted out. “I mean, I can’t. Sorry.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Totally. Maybe another time? Or if you don’t wanna go there, we could go somewhere else?”

“Uhh,” you couldn’t breath. All his suggestions were so sweet, but it felt too overwhelming to answer. Thankfully, the clock tower at the other end of campus rang and indicated the quarter of an hour. Your next class would soon start, and it was about a five-minute walk to get to.

“I have to go.” you pointed back and started walking, but Tom grabbed your hand gently, just enough by your fingertips.

“Sorry, I just- if you don’t want to hang out with me, that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend to like me, no hurt feelings. I don’t want you to-”

“I do, Tom,” you told him with a compassionate smile. Then you looked back at the clock. “But I really got to go.”

“Right, sorry.” he let go of your hand, and you ran off to your next course.

_________________________________

“Who was that?”

As soon as y/n ran off, Tom heard the voice coming from next to him. Zendaya popped up out of nowhere, an unlit cigarette hanging between her lips as she leaned in the same spot y/n had.

“Just a friend,” Tom shrugged. That’s what they were, after all. If even. He hoped he could describe someone he had mainly only spoken through texts with as a friend.

“You sure about that?” Zendaya smirked. “Cause by the looks of it, she’s got you pretty hooked. You were basically begging her to go out with you, bro.”

“Yeah, well, forcefulness isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac, is it?” he sighed then almost turned pale at the words he had said. Zendaya didn’t say anything, just nodded and took out her glittery lighter.

“Could you not?” Tom pulled the cigarette out of her mouth before she could light it and put it in his pocket. “We’re inside, for fucks sake.”

“Fine, but tell me who this friend of yours is.” She nodded her head back into the direction that y/n ran in.

“I don’t really know. I mean I do, but- Basically we met last week before class. Then I found her on Instagram and DM’d her-”

“You slid into her DMs? Bro,” she laughed.

“Call it what you want, it was the only way of reaching her I had.”

“Fine, so you like her, yeah?”

“I guess.” Tom didn’t like sharing his feelings. It put him in this vulnerable position that he was not used to. Zendaya knew that, yet still she pushed him to do it almost every time they talked.

“For what it’s worth, I think she likes you too,” she said.

“How so?” he questioned hesitantly. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Zendaya had pulled that trick on him to date someone. And it had not ended well.

“Well, body language for one, she felt comfortable enough around you to stand close to you, facing you; she smiled at your rants which, props to her, is hard to do.”

“How long had you been watching us, exactly?” Tom asked a bit freaked out. Zendaya ignored the question.

“Believe me, she likes you. She’s just scared.” she pulled out another cigarette from her pocket, “also, taking a girl to a shithole like the Sterling for your first date? I’m glad she said no. Set some standards, man.” And with that lovely comment, she walked away. She didn’t have to see Tom flipping her off, she knew he would do it, and she replied lovingly in the same way.

That’s what you got for being friends with psychology majors.

_________________________________

The first thing you did after walking out of your second class was to check your phone if you had received any messages from Tom. There was nothing. So you decided to message him yourself.

(your account)

Hey Sorry I ran away like that And basically anytime after class and making those dumb excuses not to meet up Just so you know I do really wanna hang out with you I’m just not really great with crowds or with places like bars and stuff And ive also never really been asked to go anywhere with anyone, like personally Idk why im telling you this. I’m definitely rambling Texting is definitely easier than talking huh Sorry for all this

It took Tom two minutes to see your messages and to respond.

(tomholland2013)

It’s totally okay. I get it And sorry if i made you uncomfortable with all that. Can i come to your place tonight? Or how about we go to Le Moulin?

Le Moulin. You had been there before. You could do that. With trembling fingers of excitement, you replied

(your account)

Deal. Around 7?

(tomholland2013)

Sounds perfect. See u then

_________________________________

Tommo: Hey guys, sorry but im gonna have to skip on tonight

This short message was seen and very much not appreciated by his friends. None of the replies could be seen as appropriate for day-time television. Except for the one Zendaya had sent him through their personal chat. It was simple,

Z: 👍

With the entire afternoon off, Tom made sure he looked somewhat decent for the night. He took a shower. Washed his hair and made sure it was extra soft. He wasn’t sure what y/n thought of it, but from past experiences, he knew that usually, girls loved his hair. Thinking about other girls was probably not the best mindset, though. Still, his hair did look really good. He brushed his fingers through it.

It had not yet stopped raining, which was a bit of a problem, but he hoped she wouldn’t mind getting a bit wet. For the sake of it, he took an umbrella with him. Luckily it wasn’t very windy, so it actually came to good use. The walk from the frat house to the dorm that y/n said she lived in wasn’t too far away, and fortunately on the way to the place he had in mind to take her to.

On his way over, he thought about what Zendaya had told him.

Was y/n scared? Of what?

They had talked about that kind of stuff briefly, during the weekend, and she and said that she suffered from anxiety. Tom just thought it was stuff like giving a presentation in class. He hadn’t even thought about the more social aspect of it. And here he was pushing all those things at her like going to some bar with strangers. Jesus, why did he have to be such a dumbass?

The dorm complex had a buzzer system like a regular apartment complex, so he searched for her name on the long list, and pressed the button next to it.

“Hello?” It was her roommate, Marie, that answered.

“Hey, it’s Tom. I’m here to pick up y/n.” He could hear some indistinct giggling coming from the other side of the line.

“Of course, c’mon up. But I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a bit.” Next followed the buzzer, and the doors opened for him. The number on the button said 54, so he assumed it had to be on the fifth floor. When he walked up to the door with that number, he was greeted with a colourful collage of rock bands whose hair was probably more impressive than their vocal range, which said a lot considering Queen was on it.

He knocked and waited for someone to open. y/n was the one to do it. She stood frozen in the door, only a towel wrapped around her body.

“I thought we said seven?” she said, her voice a bit higher than usual.

“It’s quarter past seven!” Marie shouted out from inside the dorm. y/n cursed.

“Shit, sorry, I lost complete track of time. Give me ten minutes, okay?” she held up a finger so he would wait here. Tom nodded and let her close the door again. He could still hear her yell at Marie as to why she had not told her she was running late, to which Marie only responded with hysterical laughter.

“Holland?” someone in the hallway asked a few minutes later. Tom turned in the direction to see a guy with a head full of bed hair poke out of his doorway (which was covered in pictures of death metal posters and my little ponies). He stepped out in the hallway to reveal he was wearing nothing but a pair of tiny and tight briefs, leaving little to the imagination.

“Oh hey… Crocker,” he called the guy by his preferred nickname.

“Hey man, what are you doing here?” Crocker asked. The way his eyes were almost ruby red and the stench coming from his room, Tom presumed that the guy was higher than a kite.

“Oh you know, waiting for a date, heh.” He said a bit awkwardly, pointing back to door 54.

“Ah, getting some of that French jay nehsuh gwaa.”

Tom looked confused. He wasn’t sure he had ever heard someone butcher a language that badly. Well, probably, but he didn’t remember it. He kind of understood what Crocker meant, though.

“No, I’m here for y/n. Not Marie.”

“Damn? Really.” Crocker started to giggle, which might as well just have been a side effect from whatever he had smoked up in his room.

“Yeah?” He wasn’t sure how else to react. Crocker just shrugged and walked back into his room, smashing the door closed. Tom turned slowly, not sure what exactly had happened just then. And he turned right on time too, because the door of dorm 54 opened and y/n walked out. Wearing a raincoat over a sweater and jeans. She also had a pair of black ankle boots on. Tom could not help but smile at the sight of her.

“Sorry about that,” she said, the nervousness in her voice was unmistakable.

“First,” Tom spoke, remembering one of his earlier worries from days ago, “you don’t have a boyfriend, do you?” The question made her laugh.

“I very much do not. Why did you think that?”

“The sweater you wore when we met. It had that whole stole-it-from-my-boyfriend vibe.”

“No, I haven’t had anyone to steal clothes from in a long time.” she shook her head. Tom extended his hand for her to take, which she gladly did. It felt amazing.

“So what will you be ordering?”

“Ice cream,” Tom answered, almost matter-of-factly.

_________________________________

“Ice cream?” you asked to make sure you had heard him correctly. He nodded in agreement. “Don’t you think it’s a bit cold for that?”

“No.” He said bluntly, which really sold the case for you. You were on your way again.

You could hear the rain pound against the main door before you even reached the ground floor, and it only got harder and louder the nearer you got. Tom, being a true gentleman, opened the door for you, but you were a bit hesitant to walk outside.

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” he let you hold the door so he could step through the threshold and push open the umbrella. You noticed it was a Delta Kappa umbrella. They really made merch of everything. As he put the umbrella up, he extended his arm for you to intertwine yours through. Then, you walked.

Though it was relatively early, the sky was pitch black because of how early the sun set those days and the dark clouds that had been pestering the sky that entire day. Not a star was to be seen. The rain tapped heavily against the umbrella, and you tried to stay as close to Tom as possible. The excuse, of course, was to not get wet but really you wanted to enjoy the warmth that he was giving off. At one point you had changed position from just having your arm over his, to him wrapping his arm over your shoulder.

You walked down a brightly lit path, so you could see everything around you. The trees, the cars passing by, the building. So, when you saw the little café at the end of the street, you squealed.

While there were plenty of bars, pubs and clubs to go to around town, so there were restaurants and cafés. And while restaurants really weren’t your thing, you loved to sit in one of the cosy coffee shops with a cup of tea or coffee and read a good book. Another fun thing about all those places was that they were very internationally orientated, speaking to the wide variety of students that the university had. Le Moulin was of course based on a Parisian café. You had actually found it together with Marie, in hopes she could have something that felt a bit closer to home. Though it didn’t come close to the real magic of the French capital, it still had plenty of its charm in it. Not to mention, the pain du chocolats were to die for!

Yet, you had never actually had ice cream from their menu.

You still weren’t sure if today would be the day for it. By the time you wear under the little entrance roof, you were freezing, and so was Tom, visibly.

“Are you still sure about the ice cream?” you asked him as he closed the umbrella.

“Hot chocolate?” he suggested, suddenly fluent in your love language: chocolate and hot drinks (it was a very simplified version of said love language).

This time Tom got to be the real gentleman as he let you walk inside first. He dropped the umbrella in the stand, together with a few others. When you looked around the café, you saw that a few more couples were enjoying the cosiness. A sweet melody was playing from the speakers. The rain had also softened outside, and together with the vintage sounds of guitar and vocals, it gave the perfect atmosphere for the night.

You had barely stepped inside when one of the waiters walked up. He smiled and said: “Your table is ready,” which surprised you, but Tom took you by the hand, and you both followed the waiter to one of the tables next to the wall, where one side had a couch instead of the usual chairs. You sat down first, taking off your jacket. Tom was going to sit opposite you, but now it was your turn to grab his hand.

“Slide in.”

He smiled and sat down. He probably didn’t need any convincing and just wanted to hear you say that you wanted him to sit next to you. You didn’t mind that.

“Should I prepare the order?” the waiter asked as you made yourself comfortable, again confusing the hell out of you.

“Actually, scrap that. We’ll have two large hot chocolates.” Tom said.

“With cinnamon!” you added.

“One with cinnamon.” Tom corrected. The waiter nodded and walked off.

“Don’t like cinnamon?” you quizzed, to which Tom shrugged.

“It’s alright, just not a big fan.” Both of you looked around the room. You had never been in the café at night, so you hadn’t even realised that the walls were covered in soft gold lights, giving it all that much more the feeling as if you had stepped into a fairytale.

“I didn’t know this place took reservations.”

“I’m not sure either,” Tom replied, you noticed he had his arm draped around you again, “I just called to be sure.”

“Really?” That split you up into two. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought that he had made a special call to the café to get, probably, the best seat in the house. On the other side, you were freaking out for a few reasons. He had put in quite the effort in an almost last minute notice of plans, while you were fifteen minutes late. That was embarrassing enough. And this reservation basically put you in a spotlight for the entire business, which was really not ideal. You didn’t want to be noticed.

“Hey,” he whispered and squeezed his grip around you lightly, “everything okay?”

“Huh? Mhm,” you nodded your head and smiled, trying not to think about how the waiters might be judging you.

“I saw you had posted a picture from this place on your Instagram, and I used to come here a while back, so I thought it would be cool, but if you don’t like it-”

“It’s perfect,” you made up your mind. In the end, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. You felt safe, sitting on the little couch, next to Tom.

Soon after, the waiter came back with two mugs of hot chocolate. When Tom ordered large ones, they delivered. The mugs might as well have been cereal bowls, topped with a peak of whipped cream and cocoa powder, and a cinnamon stick in your cup to distinguish the two drinks.

“Et voila!” the waiter put the cups down. You thanked him, and he was gone again.

There were spoons, but you decided to stir your chocolate with the cinnamon stick.

Still with his arm around you, Tom took his mug up to his lips. With the feeling of having him so close to you, you wondered what this really was. What if he just wanted to be friends and spend some time with you? Had he noticed how sad and lonely you were, and did he want to take his pity out on you? Were you a charity act for him? God, you hoped not. You really really hoped not.

“Tom?” You looked at him, to see his eyes dart in your direction. His top lip was covered in whipped cream. You gestured it to him, slightly giggling, and he wiped it off with the back of his hand. How was someone that hot, so adorable?

“You were saying?” he said, putting the mug down on the table in front of you.

“I was just wondering,” Be quick, get it over with, you’ll feel better when you say it. “is this a date?”

“Do you want it to be? It doesn’t have to.” He added the second part quickly after.

“I- I think I do,” I smiled. Though he had just put his mug down, he picked it right back up, you did the same.

“Then a date it is.” You clinked cups. Still, something felt off. You were holding the cup up to your lips, but just far enough not to be able to drink from it. Your eyes glazed over as you focused them on the mural in front of you. It was of the Paris skyline. With the Eiffel tower in the middle, the Arc de Triomphe a bit to the left, on the other side stood the two symmetrical towers of the Notre Dame cathedral. It was probably geographically inaccurate, just good enough to keep everyone who had never been to the City of Love satisfied.

“Okay, something’s up.” Tom brought you back to the date. “What’s wrong? And, please, be honest.”

“I don’t know,” you huffed out a laugh. “But before you start to freak out, it’s nothing to do with you, I swear.”

“So, you kind of know what it is about.” he raised an eyebrow. He had a point. If you knew what it was not, it meant you knew what it was, indeed.

“I, uhm,” suddenly you felt very much aware of everything and everyone around you. Were they listening? “Well, I really want to apologise for being so distant outside of Instagram.”

“There’s really no need for that, darling,” he said. “I understand it, and should have been a bit more considerate. I should have realised sooner that bars and shit aren’t your cup of tea.. or hot chocolate.”

You both laughed.

“Yeah,” you were smiling, but the word came out a bit as a sigh, conveying your all the troubling thoughts that were going on in your brain.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Tom saw through it. You bit your lip, not sure how to say it. You didn’t want to say it. He would probably think you were a joke. Besides, all those people around. Some of them from your school. They could probably hear every word you were saying.

“Do you maybe want to text it to me?” he suggested with a kind smile. You hadn’t realised when he had moved, but he had let go of your shoulders, and his hand was now on top of yours. His thumb moved slowly over your skin, reassuring you that, whatever it was, it was okay.

How you hoped it was.

You grabbed your phone and started to type out your message, taking a deep breath before sending it to him. You heard the vibration in his pocket, and with it, your heart skipped with anxiety. Tom kept holding on to your hand as he took out his phone and read the text. His eyes shot wide open.

“Wait, really?”

_________________________________

“Never?” he asked, to which she bit her lip and shook her head.

No, it wasn’t possible.

“How has no one- nooo,”

“It just… never got far enough- No, I mean, ugh,” she finally took a sip of her hot chocolate. Tom had to admit that it was cute how that was her go-to frustration action. She wiped off the whipped cream from her lip. Tom couldn’t stop looking at them, they were just so perfect. He wanted to feel her, to taste her. He wouldn’t even mind the taste of cinnamon that would have remained on them.

“There was just never a guy that made me think, oh yeah, I want to kiss him,” she said after another sip of the hot chocolate.

“So, you’d want to kiss me?”

“Shut up,” she said glaring, but just to hide the big smile on her face.

“Sorry, I just can’t believe you’ve never been kissed.” She flinched a bit at his words. “I don’t mean it in that way. You shouldn’t be ashamed of never being kissed. Sometimes it happens early on, sometimes it doesn’t. If it wasn’t for my pledge, I don’t think I would have had my first kiss till last year.” He confessed. y/n looked at him with eyebrows that had a twist of disbelief in them.

“Yeah, right.”

“I swear,” Tom laughed, putting his hands up. “So really, no judgement here.” Then he leaned in to whisper into her ear, “and I definitely won’t mind breaking you in,” He couldn’t keep a straight face saying it, and neither could she. He had thought it would make her nervous or flushed, but she just slapped him on his arms teasingly.

“In your dreams, Holland.”

“Fuck, I hope so.” That made her freeze, just for a second though. “Shit, too much?” He asked, afraid he had finally taken it too far with his inappropriate humour.

“No, you’re good.” She took another sip of her hot chocolate, allowing Tom to do so as well.

“See, just because I’ve never been kissed, it immediately puts me under this label of being a prude or something, but I’m really not. I’ve just- had a really shitty love life.” Or just a complete lack of it.

“Well, I hope to change that.” He leaned in again and pecked her cheek. That finally got him the flushed reaction he had hoped for.

“You already did.”

_________________________________

Your hand moved up to your cheek, hovering above the area that he had kissed. You felt like an idiot, but with Tom, it didn’t even feel like a bad thing.

“We’ve known each other for less than two days, and I can already tell you, you’re way up there in the list of good dates.”

“Way up there? Give me stats.” He nudged on. You thought for a second.

“At least… top ten.”

“Top five? Oh C’mon, babe, I think I’m a bit better than that. Not to toot my own horn, of course.”

“Top five.” You said, ignoring the butterflies that had escaped in your stomach. He glared at you. You glared back, keeping your eyes on each other for another moment until he had dipped his finger in his hot chocolate and pressed it against your nose. You blinked in confusion.

“That just moved you down to number six.”

“Well, shit.” Tom leaned in and licked the whipped cream off your nose. As disgusting as it should have been, you burst into a fit of giggles, hiding your face in his chest to not disturb the rest of the restaurant. While you were trying to calm down, you felt Tom kiss the top of your head a few times.

Finally, you sat up again.

“Top three,” you stated. It was good enough for Tom. For now.

You drank the rest of your drinks in the best silence possible that could be kept as both of you kept laughing at each other. Finally, the mugs were empty. Tom paid for everything and let you take the lead to walk outside with the umbrella. When you opened the door, however, you saw that the storm had now passed over into a light drizzle. You kept the umbrella closed.

You were already letting yourself get taken up by the rain when Tom was outside. You thought he would come to join you, but he stayed under the little roof, watching you with a big smile.

“Not afraid of the rain, are you?” you asked. “Or are you made of sugar?”

“All I can say is, come and find out for yourself.” You were already a few steps away, so you hopped over to him, took his hand and took the final step, so you were touching chest to chest. His other hand found its way on your hip. You saw his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips. You smiled and pulled him in closer, making you take a step back and exposing him to the weather.

“Mutherfucker!” He gasped, not having expected that. “Ohh, you’re good.”

Before you knew what was happening, he had picked you up by the waist and spun you around. You squealed from surprise before the both of you started laughing again. Eventually, he had to put you back down again, and your eyes widened in horror when you saw him walk to a large puddle.

“No, Tom! No, no, no.!” He put you down right next to it. Probably an inch from the water edge.

“C’mon, I’m not that mean.” he pouted.

“Nah, you’re a softy,” you poked his cheek. He grabbed your hand.

“Oi, I wouldn’t go that far.” then kissed the tip of your index finger, which you had poked him with a second before.

“Too late, I guess.”

“You sure about that? You’re still really close to that puddle babe. We wouldn’t want any… accidents!” He gripped you by the waist again, and the sudden movement made you feel like he was gonna throw you down into the puddle. You shrieked but soon felt his arms still around you and no parts of your body were soaked (only moderately wet from the light rain) or on the ground. He was still holding you.

“You never answered me,” he said, his sweet laughter was gone, and his eyes were on your lips again.

“Answer what?” you kept looking at his face as a whole, taking in every detail. The way his nose scrunched when droplets of rain well on it. How one of his eyebrows was more bushy and irregular than the other. The dimple in his chin, his freckles- everything.

“If you wanted to kiss me.”

His golden-brown eyes were so warm, even in the dim street lights at night. His wet hair was sticking to his face, but framing it so nicely. His jaw was sharp, it didn’t seem like it should be real.

“I do.”

His lips. Though thin and a bit chapped, they still felt so soft. The sweet taste of chocolate, mixed in with the rain that had fallen in the few moments that you stood outside. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you in closer to him. It felt so good. So right.

You pulled away but with no idea how much time had gone by. His stands stayed in their position, his eyes searched yours for a reaction. Nothing came from it since you were still in an emotional daze.

Tom chuckled.

“Fuck, I should have slid into your DMs sooner.”

“Way to ruin the mood, Holland.”

“Oh, you love it.” He said before pulling you into another kiss.

The END

> song played in Le Moulin: Rendez-vous sous la pluie (Jean Sablon)

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed

> please leave a comment or ask with your thoughts. i love reading them and let me know if you want to see more of this au cause i really enjoyed writing it :)

> if anyone has a comment about how it had only been a day since they met etc. i wrote this 15k story in the span of 24 hours. i wish i could have added more to it but at this point, i am physically and emotionally exhausted and do not want to make it even longer.

>masterlist and link to taglist in bio

tagging:

@definitely-not-black-cat @artemisiaarm @nerdyhockeygirl @miraclesoflove @justasmisunderstoodasloki @thefridgeismybestie @m19friend @creative-happenings @parker-holland-osterfield @fanficparker @fanficscuziranout @peterparkoure @xxtomxo @happywolves81 @captainbuckyy @tra-gicx @qxeen-of-hearts @varshavisuu @kangaroobunny @petersunderoos96 @the-lost-fairy-tale @nerd-domland @sleepybesson @rissa067 @the-queen-procrastinator @scarletteclipze @screeching-student-unknown @spiderrrling @captainpeggy40 @tomhollanders2013 @miraclesoflove @playinonaloop @queenoflostspirits @roses-hxlland @hereiamhereigo @sunnydays0803 @averyfosterthoughts @moorehollandplz @beiroviski @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @peterparkerbabyyy @multifandomlover21 @lmaotshollandd @badbitchydecisions @tikapollak @awesomehritz @madzleigh01 @oh-what a beautiful-parker @taciturnspidey @quaksonhehe @mountainsforwords @harryfobter @peepeeparkerr @viagracex @ethereal-beauty-p @slytherin-chaser @worldoftom @moonysoftt @peeterparkr @wazzupmrstark @saintlavrents @peachybloomss @blissfulparker @chloecreatesfictions-archive @fallinfortom @bitchydecisions @okokimfreakingoutahh @cicicantblog @musicalkeys @joyleenl @multifandomdoodles121 @awkwardfangirl2014 @marvelouspeterparker

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #frat!au #fratboy tom #college!tom #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #stranger to lovers #college!au

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sundaymorninglife · 3 years

Text

the morning after

corpse husband x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, drugs, alcohol, insinuation of sex.

a note: thank you so much for your support on part one! uh, i haven’t written in years and coming back to tumblr has been a weird yet lovely ride. hope you enjoy this part two.

part 1 - next

tag list is open!

y/n closed the door behind her quietly.

she looked around the hallway, trying to see if any of her friends were around, but all she could find were some girls drunkly talking, waiting to go into the bathroom. she knocked on the door twice, having agreed that that was the code for coast clear. without looking back, she made her way through the hallway and then the stairs, before going to the kitchen.

she sighed heavily, and made her best to check that her clothes and hair were OK and not too much of a giveaway of what had just happened. she looked at the array of drinks in front of her, and grabbed a bottle of tequila to pour.

as she was looking for shot glasses, rae and lily bursted into the kitchen.

“y/n, there you are!” lily shouted, even though they were alone. she sounded a lot drunker than when they had left y/n before.

rae laughed and took a hold of lily, balancing her, before looking at y/n. “yeah we’ve been looking for yo- oh my god what happened to your hair?”

y/n’s hands instinctively rose up to her hair, her eyes wide and paranoid. “i- oh god. is it that bad?”

rae burst out laughing, lily just looked at them confused, too drunk to understand the unspoken context. “oh god y/n! WHO and HOW and WHEN? we were only gone for like forty minutes!”

y/n finally found the shot glasses and poured herself a shot of tequila, which she quickly downed before serving herself another one. “please don’t judge me,” she said, before taking the shot she had just poured.

“please don’t tell me you fucked e/n,” rae retorted, still holding lily up by the shoulders.

“oh my god please tell me you slept with e/n, it would be the gossip of the week!” lily said, just excited to have any kind of drama to talk about. their group of friends was great, no doubt about it, but it needed some spice some days. nothing too serious, of course, but enough to provide entertainment, that’s all lily wanted.

y/n let out a snort. “no fucking way. he’s so sleazy! i can’t believe i ever dated that guy.”

“so...” rae wiggled her eyebrows at the girl, “who was it then? do we know them?”

y/n gulped. “it was.... it was no one okay. it was just a random dude.” she wasn’t technically lying, but it still felt weird to hide this from her two closest friends in LA. rae and lily gasped and looked at each other, but before they could say anything, y/n continued: “i know, i know, i swore off men and random hook ups, but...” y/n paused, thinking of corpse and about what had just gone on in the bathroom mere moments ago, “he was charming, what can i say?”

“oh my god, you have to point him out later on- was it good? it looks like it was good, you’re practically glowing!”

y/n blushed and put her face in her hands, looked at rae from in between her fingers. “yeah, it was great. anyway,” she got in between her two friends, “how about we go and we dance a little?”

***

corpse left the bathroom a few minutes after he heard the two knocks on the door. as he went into the hallway, he barely caught y/n going down the stairs. his mind was racing. that had just happened. he had followed her into the bathroom, hoping to not get caught by any of their friends, and in between the kissing, the unbuttoning, the desperate need for skin on skin contact, they established a few rules.

1. no feelings. this, whatever it may become, will remain strictly physical.

2. no one can know. if anyone finds out they might pressure them to get into a relationship, or worse, it might ruin the group’s dynamic.

3. no jealousy. they are allowed to see other people as long as they keep each other updated, for health and safety reasons.

it was fairly simple and straightforward. of course, rule number one had sort of already been broken on his part since he did have a crush on her but, he thought, it could be easily pushed away. not like he was in love with her.

as he walked down the hallway, ready to rejoin everyone downstairs, he felt a hand against his shoulder. he turned around to find jack, drunk of course, smiling at him. “corpse! my guy! where have you been for the past hour?”

“i... i was talking to that group of girls,” corpse said, pointing to the girls waiting outside the bathroom. “although i got a little freaked out when they offered me snow.”

jack laughed. “well, i won’t offer you snow, but let’s go get some shots. you look way too sober compared to me, my man.” corpse laughed and let himself follow the irishman, trying his best to not think about y/n and what they had just done.

***

as people woke up the next morning, the ever so familiar hangover headache started infecting most of the people who had gone to mark’s party.

lily and y/n had gone over to rae’s apartment to spend the night. the two friends insisted y/n point out who it was that she had slept with at the party, but the girl simply told them, very regretfully, that he had already left, probably to never be seen again.

lily was presently throwing up in rae’s toilet, having been the most drunk out of the three friends, while rae and y/n battled simultaneous headaches in the kitchen. as rae was making a much needed batch of coffee, and y/n was toasting some bread, lily dragged herself to the kitchen, tiredly proclaiming, “i am never drinking again.”

rae and y/n just laughed, both of them had been in the exact same situation, and they knew that lily would probably be drinking just as much the following week.

“so...” rae started, as she poured the now ready coffee into three mugs, “y/n. are we gonna get more deets on mr. bathroom?”

y/n groaned and let her head fall into her hands. “please don’t remind me that i did it in a bathroom, rae.”

rae snorted. “yeah, yeah, WHATEVER. you’re avoiding the question at hand, y/n. what was he like? where was he from? will you see him again? did he have a big d-“

“WOAH, woah, okay!” y/n interrupted rae before she could finish that last question. “he was nice. i didn’t ask where he was from. and no, i probably won’t see him again.” y/n looked down sheepishly at her mug, knowing that last answer was a straight up lie.

as a matter of fact, corpse had already texted her that morning to make sure that what had happened in the bathroom (and the rules they agreed upon) was OK. she appreciated the concern he had for her and the fact that he went out of his way to make sure she was comfortable. she replied to him saying that everything was good to go, and she honestly couldn’t wait to see him again. even rae, when she saw her in the kitchen, told her she was glowing.

“aw damn, that’s too bad! i wanted to meet this guy. hey, you still didn’t tell me how big his di-“

“oh my god guys please shut up, i’m dying over here.” lily interrupted rae this time, clearly too hungover to be interested in the subject at hand.

rae and y/n just laughed and started talking about other events that had transpired throughout the night, although y/n couldn’t keep her mind off of a certain curly haired guy.

***

corpse quietly made his way to the kitchen. him and jack had gotten home very late and very drunk, and he was already getting ready for toast to be kind of pissy at the whole affair. after all, he was kind enough to offer them his home while they were staying in LA.

corpse’s head was pounding, from the hangover or the anxiety of seeing y/n, he didn’t know. he had texted her to make sure that what happened the night before was OK, and to confirm that they were actually going to do this. he felt relief when she texted back that yeah, she wanted to seriously do this no strings attached sort of thing.

the curly haired man dragged his feet to the kitchen. he found toast there, already having breakfast, looking a little ticked off.

toast looked up at corpse from where he was seated. “you know, i love you and jack. but for the love of god, i’m never going to let you back into my apartment if it means you two getting home drunk as hell at four in the morning, screaming about how much you want chicken nuggets.”

corpse groaned and covered his face. he mumbled a quiet “i’m sorry,” before going to boil some water for tea. toast looked at his friend and decided the argument was sort of silly, and kindly laughed it off before saying, “it’s like you guys forgot mcdonald’s has delivery.”

once his tea was ready, corpse sat across from toast at the kitchen table. by then, sykkuno had also made his way into the room, and he said a quiet but sweet “good morning” to his two friends.

corpse was quietly drinking his tea when toast noticed it. “holy shit,” he started, “what is that on your neck?” it wasn’t long before toast was laughing incredibly hard. corpse immediately pulled out his phone and opened the camera, trying to get a look at his neck.

y/n had left him a hickey.

sykkuno made his way over to the table and peeked at corpse’s neck, before gasping and bring his hand to cover his mouth. “corpse, oh my god!” he said between laughs.

corpse felt his face grow red, before putting his hand on his neck to try and make the hickey disappear.

toast was still laughing when he asked, “who gave you that corpse?!”

“i... well it was-“

“can you all please stop laughing so fucking loud? my head fucking hurts.” corpse was thankful for jack’s interruption. he was quickly trying to come up with a cover up story for the hickey on his neck.

“corpse has a hickey!” sykkuno informed jack. the irishman’s eyes widened at the statement and immediately he went over to tear away corpse’s hand from his neck.

“so that’s what you were doing with the girls outside the bathroom, huh?” corpse sighed with relief. jack came up with the cover up on his own.

“uh, yeah. i hooked up with one of them in the bathroom. they offered me coke after and that’s when i found you, jack.”

“un-fucking-believable. i miss being 23 and being able to pull shit like that off.” jack sat down next to him at the table.

“pfft! as if you had half the game corpse has when you were in your 20s, jack,” toast said, trying to tease his friend a little.

“oh shut the fuck up toast! as if your game is any better than mine, huh?”

corpse just laughed, bringing his hand back up to cover his hickey.

“are you gonna see the girl again corpse? what was she like anyway?” sykkuno asked.

“uh, she was nice. i probably won’t see her again though, i’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”

ah, but he would see her again. he actually couldn’t wait to get his hands on her once more, even if it meant more hickeys for his friends to find and make fun of.

taglist: @evi-ka @bi-andready-tocry @ramshasar

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse imagines #corpse husband x y/n #corpse_husband #corpse husband x you #corpse x you

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jean-kayak · 3 years

Text

I Fell For You, No Literally

Summary: Your ex-boyfriend comes walking back into your life, causing a whole bunch of emotions to resurface

Pairing: Terushima Yuuji x black!fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of past relationships, like two handfuls of angst, real fluffy at the end, A LOT of dialogue at the end, Terushima being soft, brief mentions of sickness (like real brief), hurt/comfort, exes-to-lovers?, a huge misunderstanding, it gets really stressful at one point in this thing, implied past reader x oc, smut!, fingering (f. receiving), oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, squirting, overstimulation, little bit of aftercare, Terushima has a dick piercing LMAO, domestic things, mentions of alcohol consumption (reader gets drunk), it’s basically an emotional rollercoaster, Terushima being suggestive *sighs* i think i covered everything

Word Count: 12,881 (BITCH im sorry it wasn’t supposed to be this long)

A/N: This was originally going to be apart of the writing event that I was doing, but this was really long, and it took me a little bit longer than I thought so I figured I would just do it separately. And also I tried to do fluffy smut, I don’t really know if I did that lmao. But anyways, enjoy!

P.S.: I also gave the reader a name bc this is really long!

All characters are 18+!!

"I think I have more lights in the back, I'll go get them," your best friend tells you, and you nod as you continue to hang up the lights on the top of your shop.

Although you realize your mistake when you lean over, and the ladder starts to slip. "Shit," you whisper, and you feel your heart drop, fear coursing through your body as you feel the ladder going down and not stopping.

You squeeze your eyes shut, bracing for impact on the freezing cold concrete, but it never comes. "Oh, my God, are you okay?!" It's a deeper voice, and you open your eyes to see that you're nowhere near the ground and that you're in someone's arms.

You're still a bit shaken from the fear of the fall, but the voice and the scent are all too familiar and it brings you back fairly quickly. You look up and see a face that you never thought you'd see again.

"You know, I'd always say you'd fallen for me," he quips, and you roll your eyes as you try to squirm out of his grip. "Wait, where you going? I like holding you like this." You chuckle softly as you roll your eyes playfully, and he lets you down. "But seriously, are you okay?"

You release a deep breath. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for saving me, Terushima."

He takes a few steps closer to you. "Come on, baby, you don't have to be so formal with me." You scoff as you take a step back, fully taking him in.

Terushima Yuuji. Your ex-boyfriend. Your relationship lasted all through high school and your first year of college until things went rocky. You prefer not to think about the details, but you can't not think about how good he looks right now.

He's still blond, with the undercut, and piercings, and even through his winter clothes, you can tell he's filled out a lot since you last saw him. Matter of fact, how long has it been? Three, four years?

"Three and a half," you flinch slightly. Shit, were you thinking out loud? His eyes rake down your figure, and even in the cold, you can feel the heat course through your body. "You look good."

"So do you," you reply, not really knowing what to say. How are you even supposed to talk to your exes? You've had others besides him, but you haven't made contact with them since you called it off.

There's a weird tension in the air, and you don't know what to say to break it, but luckily Kiya comes out of your shop, her eyes widening when they land on Terushima. "Oh, now, this is a surprise," she says, smirking as she looks between the two of you. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, you know, just being her knight in shining armor and catching her from falling off the ladder," he tells her smugly, and she looks at you in horror.

"Via, what did I tell you about doing things on the ladder without me watching you?" she scolds, and you shrug as you kick at the ground.

"I'm sorry, okay? And besides, I think that's enough lights for the front don't you think?" you ask, looking at the front of the shop to take in your work. Kiya follows suit, taking in the lights.

"Yeah, they look good. And I would tell you good job, but you almost killed yourself in the process." You roll your eyes again as you scoff. "Thank you, Terushima," she says, and he waves her off.

"Any time." So he still has that smug, confident personality. That hasn't changed much. You clear your throat as you gesture to the door.

"Well, I should probably open up shop. Thank you, Terushima, I really appreciate you catching me."

"C'mon, what'd I tell you about the name?" You tilt your head as you raise an eyebrow.

"See ya around, Terushima." And you're walking through the door.

Kiya comes in behind you a few seconds later, and you just brace yourself for the conversation that's about to happen and is going to last at least twenty minutes. "Holy crap, he is still hot as hell." You sigh as you put on your apron. You don't respond, and she knows you're agreeing with her, so he continues talking.

"No, Kiya, don't even go there."

"What? What's wrong with rekindling the flame, at least a little?"

"You remember how we left off," you remind her, and you see her wave you off before washing her hands.

"Okay, that was a few years ago. People change."

You scoff. "Yeah, I doubt he's changed." The conversation is quickly put to bed as people start to come in, and you submerge yourself in your cooking.

This week was your shopping week, but Kiya had family things so you're at the store by yourself, collecting a ton of food to stockpile for the shop. You feel a headache coming on as you cross out another item off the list, your vision full of lines every time you look up from the crumpled piece of paper.

You also have to carry and put all of these groceries in your car, and you want to whine in annoyance, that headache starting to beat behind your eyelids, and the cold isn't helping either. "You look like you could use some help, m'lady." You sigh heavily, recognizing the voice immediately.

"You're not following me are you, Terushima?" you ask, playfully, but a part of you is serious.

"Of course not, but it seems that whenever you're in trouble, I'm always around." You let out a surprised laugh, but you don't turn your attention to him, keeping it focused on putting the groceries in your car. "Let me help you," he offers, already moving to grab a bag, but you stop him.

"I got it, it's fine. Thanks anyway," you quickly tell him before catching your breath and starting again.

"Via, seriously, let me help you." Your movements falter at the nickname. Even though everyone calls you that, it always sounded different coming from him. You want to scoff at how easily your body reacted to it. You don't have the energy to fight, so you scoot over, giving him enough room to help pile the bags in your car. "So, you have your own shop," he starts, and is he really trying to make casual conversation right now?

"Yeah, I do," you respond, deciding to partake in whatever this is.

"American, right?" he asks, and you hate how he still remembers, and you drop the bag into your car a little bit more aggressively.

"Yeah. We have Japanese as well, but Kiya knows more about that than I do." He helps you put the last bag in, closing the trunk shut and returning the shopping cart.

"Well, that's great. I'm happy for you," he tells you when he gets back, and you nod as you purse your lips.

"Thanks." And there's that awkward tension again. Why was he trying to act like everything was normal? Why is he talking to you like nothing happened between you two? "Listen, Te--" You're cut off by his phone ringing, and he quickly fishes his phone out of his pocket and grimacing when he looks at the screen.

"I have to take this, uh--"

You cut him off with a wave of your hand. "Go ahead, it's okay. Thanks again," you say, quickly signaling the end of whatever this conversation was. You don't give him another look, turning around and getting into your car, thankful that it's still warm. You crank the car up and you look out the window as you do, seeing Terushima walking away on the phone.

You rest your forehead against the steering wheel. What are the fucking chances that he out of all people would walk back into your life? You take another deep breath. Thinking about it too much will only make your headache worse. You give him one last glance before driving off, hoping that you're actually getting away from him this time.

"You saw him again at the store?" Kiya asks, her eyes wide as she sits up on the couch. You roll your eyes from exhaustion as you stab your fork into your takeout.

"Yes, he said it's like whenever I'm in trouble, he's always around." You stab your food again, but you don't know if it's out of annoyance or anger this time.

"Okay, Via, come on, this is like a sign, isn't it?" You give her a look before shaking your head. "Why not?"

"Kiya, you were there through all of it. He's...he's not--he's probably still the same," you say, trailing off quietly, and Kiya's face turns into concern as she finally sees that the hurt you've tried to push back down is now coming to the surface. She moves closer to you on the couch before wrapping an arm around you, pulling you into her.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I just thought, maybe this one could be different. Different from those other douches you were seeing." You huff slightly, a smile forming on your face as you remember everything she said about what she didn't like about every last one of your exes.

Some of them were just flings, others could've easily gone further, but they always broke it off. You don't really know the reason, but you've sort of come to terms with it. Maybe dating just isn't your thing right now. "Yeah, I know," you say, burrowing yourself further into her embrace. "It's just, I don't know, what if it happens all over again?"

"If that does happen again, then I'll actually kill him this time." Both of you laugh at her words before she speaks up again. "But, all that aside, it's up to you what you want to do. Don't listen to me, I'm just the crazy best friend."

Your smile grows wider. "Crazy, you definitely are."

"Hey!" she says, shoving you away playfully, and you both dive back into laughter as you finish your takeout and the cheesy rom-com playing on the TV.

You sigh as you wipe off the bar counter, the shop quiet due to the fact that you're about an hour and a half from closing. You usually enjoy the serenity, grateful that it's not a rush like it is during mid-morning, lunch, and dinner. Around this time, you and Kiya usually get a chance to sit down and take a break.

You finish scrubbing off a stubborn stain on the counter when you hear the door open. "Welcome, I'll be with you in a moment," you greet out of habit without even looking up as you turn around to throw the rag into the sink.

"The place looks great." The familiar voice almost makes you stop in your tracks, but you recover quickly, wiping your hands off on a towel before turning to see Terushima sitting in the middle of the bar counter. You walk over to him, standing right in front of the counter, feeling like the counter isn't a big enough gap between the two of you.

"Thank you," you tell him honestly as you plant your hands on the edge of the counter. "What can I get for you?"

He smirks at you before he answers. "We both know you already know what I want," he says confidently, and you want to punch yourself because of the fact that you still know what his favorite food is even after you've been broken up.

"Coming right up." You turn around quickly, getting started on his order so that you can get him out of here as fast as possible before Kiya can see him. Unfortunately, that isn't the case, and she comes waltzing in from her office, her eyebrows raised high.

"Oh?" she starts, her voice a whisper. "What's he doing here?" she asks, and you shrug.

"I dunno. He just walked in here like a few minutes ago." You turn your head to look at him over his shoulder, and you see that he's taken off his coat and rolled up his sleeves. You notice that he's got a tattoo on his left arm that snakes all around his upper arm. Yeah, he's definitely gotten bigger since you've last seen him.

He looks up from his phone, catching you in the act, and he smirks at you before flexing his muscles, and your face heats up quickly, your head turning back to what you're doing. "He actually ordered something?" Kiya asks playfully with a huff, and you return it as you flip the patty.

"Yeah, I was surprised too. I thought he'd be here to bother me again," you admit.

"Which is what you would've wanted, right?" she teases, and you shove at her which makes her laugh, and yours soon follows.

"You guys talking about me?" you hear him speak up, and you roll your eyes with a scoff as you glance at him.

"Yeah," Kiya starts, "we were talking about how we could've closed up early if it weren't for you," she tells him, and you chuckle softly as you continue cooking.

"Well, I had to try the food for myself," he responds, and Kiya hums as she nods, obviously believing that he's not telling the entire truth. She starts to walk away back towards her office, but not before she nudges you softly, wiggling her eyebrows at you. You give her a look before waving her off.

Once she's left, you shudder lightly, feeling his eyes on you. You know he's watching you and everything you're doing. His eyes never leave you, watching you as you move along through the kitchen. You can't remember the last time you felt so heated under someone's gaze.

But you do remember that it took absolutely nothing for you to melt for him, and you internally shake the thoughts that are starting to pool into your head. You finish his food, sliding the plate to him softly, his drink following shortly. "Enjoy," you tell him easily, and he starts speaking before you can turn around.

"Thanks, but I think there's something that I want that's not on the menu." You roll your eyes, knowing what he's implying, but you play dumb anyway, leaning forward on the counter, resting your chin in your palm.

"Oh, and what would that be?" you ask, and he's leaning in, his face dangerously close to yours. He moves his eyes from yours to your lips before bringing them back up to your eyes. You feel your breath starting to pick up, your mouth falling open slightly, but you don't move away from him. You can't.

And then he's smirking at you again, and your knees almost give out. "You."

There's a knock on the door, and you let out an exasperated sigh that echoes throughout the walls of your apartment. You grab the baby currently sitting on the floor in the middle of your living room as another knock comes from the door. "I'm coming! Just give me a second!" you yell, your thin patience starting to disappear.

You walk to the door, yanking it open, getting ready to yell at whoever is presently throwing a monkey wrench into your day. "What are you doing here?" you deadpan, blinking a few times in confusion as you take in Terushima standing outside your apartment. "Actually, how do you even know where I live?"

He has the actual audacity to look sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck as he looks down. "I may or may not have gotten it from Kiya." You roll your eyes. Of course, it would be her. You really are going to kill her. Your niece starts fussing and you sigh. You really don't have time for this right now.

"If you wanna come in, come in," you rush out as you make your way back into your apartment. You vaguely hear the sound of the door closing and some footsteps, but you pay the sounds no mind as you set your niece in her high chair.

The first thing Terushima didn't expect when the door swung open was for you to have a baby in your arms. That alone almost distracted him from how you looked. Your hair was thrown together in a ponytail, curls falling out of it. Your shirt is covered in all kinds of stains, along with the sweatpants you're currently wearing, but Terushima thinks that you look amazing.

He slips off his coat and his shoes, throwing his scarf over his jacket before slowly making his way into the kitchen where you disappeared to. He takes in your apartment, the decorating and furnishing matching your personality to a T. The sound of fussing brings his attention to the baby that you were holding not too long ago, and he hears you speak.

"I know you're hungry, sweet girl," you say, opening the fridge. "What do you want?" you ask her even though you know she can't respond. Terushima smiles fondly as he sits down next to her, resting his arms on the island in front of him. "You want bananas?" You lift your head to look at her, and when she fusses, you try again. "How about peas and carrots?" Both her and Terushima's face screw up, and you smile softly as you turn back towards the fridge.

"Let's see," you bend over to look further into the fridge, and his eyes zero in on your ass before he snaps himself out of it. "Strawberries?" you ask hopeful, and when she laughs lightly, you smile before pulling out the container and warming it up with your hands as you bump the fridge closed.

You walk over to a drawer, opening it to pull out a small spoon before bumping it closed with your hip. The movement makes your boobs sway, and Terushima can't help but notice that he can see your nipples through your thin t-shirt. "Eyes up here, perv." Your words jolt him out of his spell, and he smirks at you as he shrugs.

"What can I say? They're nice tits." You scoff at his words, trying to fight the heat rising in your cheeks that he was checking you out, and it dawns on you how you actually look right now. You feel a little bit embarrassed, but the damage is already been done, and could you really blame yourself? You've been watching a baby all day.

Satisfied with your reaction, he turns to your niece, leaning forward to pinch her cheek softly, which makes her laugh. "And who is this pretty lady?" he asks as you smile at the interaction before walking to stand at the opposite side of the island.

"This is my niece, MJ." You set down the container of mushed food, taking off the lid before swirling around the food. You look up to see Terushima hold out a finger which she immediately grabs onto, and she smiles widely at him. "She seems to like you," you comment, feeling conflicted at the way your heart skips at their interactions. "You wanna feed her?"

You push the bowl his way, and he picks up the spoon with his other hand, his finger on his hand still being held hostage by your niece's hand. He feeds her with ease, and she even seems to be accepting the food a lot better from him than from you. "Do you think you could watch her while I get in the shower?" you ask. "I'll be quick, I promise."

"Yeah, go ahead. We'll be fine," he tells you without even looking your way.

"Are you sure?"

He finally looks at you after wiping some of the food off of her face with the spoon. "I'm sure, Via. I can handle it. Go do what you need to do." He quickly turns his attention back to MJ, and you quickly dart out of the kitchen making your way to your room.

You've been in the shower for about ten minutes, and the only thing Terushima keeps thinking about is the water running down your naked body, and he keeps shaking his head, forcing the images out of his head.

MJ's already eaten all of the food, and Terushima lightly presses on her stomach, seeing that she's completely full, and he looks around to see all of her toys in the living room. He finds the baby wipes, cleaning her up before he takes her out of the high chair and carries her to the living room.

He sets her down on the blanket you have out for her, and she immediately moves towards one of the toys as he sits on the floor next to her. Terushima's plan was mostly to bother you when he came over, and the last thing he expected was for him to be babysitting. He doesn't mind it though, he'll take any time he can spend with you. He'll take as much as he can in order to try to get you back.

He doesn't really know why he came to America, but part of him knows it was because of you. He knows that after you both graduated college, you moved back here and started your own shop. He hates how things ended between the two of you, and he wants to fix it, but he knows he's going to work hard especially because of how bad he hurt you.

He's been punching himself for three and a half years because of how stupid he was back then. If he could back in time and punch himself, he would curb stomp himself instead. He notices that he doesn't hear the water running anymore, and then he hears a door open. And he thought the clothes you had on before made you look good.

You walk out into the living room, your hair damp from the shower, and you're wearing a tank top and shorts, and he's glad you have a bra on this time. You're definitely not the same girl he dated back then. At all. "She wasn't too much trouble?" Your words jolt him out of his trance, and he forces himself to look at your eyes.

"No, she was not," he says, standing up before picking her up. He plants a small kiss on her head, but she's preoccupied with the toy in her hands to notice. "She was an angel." You sigh in relief, and Terushima moves her higher up on his hip. "Were you cooking something before I got here?" he asks, recalling something smelling really good vaguely filling his nostrils. Now, that smell has been replaced by your scent due to the fact you're standing so close to him.

"I was," you say, turning to walk into the kitchen, and he follows behind you while MJ smacks him in the face. "It was a new recipe," you continue, opening the oven. Terushima almost delays his response, his eyes zeroing on your ass again, but he manages to catch himself.

"New recipe for what?" he asks, and he's thankful when you stand up straight even though it's not that much better. When you set the pan down on the stove, you glance behind you nervously before speaking.

"It was a new recipe for cheeseburgers," you say, and he almost misses it, but he smirks as he walks around the island to stand beside you. You'd been keeping the burgers in the oven to keep them warm, and he looks down at them.

"They look really good," he comments. "You weren't thinking about me, were ya?" He has to jab at you, loving your reaction as you glare at him before looking down. "Can I try it?" he asks, and you nod before getting a knife to cut the burger in half. You grab a piece, bringing it to his mouth, and he puts the whole piece in his mouth, making sure to wraps his lips around your fingers briefly before pulling away.

The action has you feeling things that you shouldn't, and the moan he releases while he closes his eyes doesn't help either. "Oh, my God, that is amazing."

You feel your heart flutter at the compliment. "Really?" you ask softly, and he looks at you like you're crazy.

"Are you serious? This is the best thing I've ever tasted." He grabs the other half, stuffing it in his mouth before you can stop him. "Wow, you really are an amazing cook." You hate how easily your face heats up at the praise, and you just respond with a shrug. He reaches for another burger, and you grab his wrist before he can grab another one.

"You can't eat all of these!" you chastise. "I can make you some if you want me to." He uses the fact that you're still holding onto his wrist as an advantage, yanking his arm forward which causes you to bump into him. He barely moves, just wraps his arm around your waist, keeping you close to him.

"That sounds good. Thanks." You both lose yourselves in each other's eyes, time seeming to slow down as you feel your body going warm all over. God, you both missed being close to each other like this. You feel yourself starting to lean closer to him, your breaths started to mingle when MJ cries out, startling the both of you out of the spell you were in.

You jump away from him as you slightly shake your head. You did not almost kiss him. You quickly turn your attention to your niece, plucking her from his arm before walking back to the living room. Terushima sighs heavily as he puts the tray back into the oven, giving himself something to do to try to distract himself.

What would've happened if he had kissed you? Would you have kissed him back, or would you have pushed him away? He knows he's making some progress, but he doesn't know if kissing you would've ruined all of that. Do you want to kiss him? He sure wants to kiss you. He hasn't felt your lips on his in so long, and he wants to feel them so bad.

He forces those thoughts out of his head, and just as he's about to walk back into the living room, there's a knock on the door. "I'll get it," he tells you when he sees you about to stand up. He jogs to the door, and he opens it before almost being knocked down by two kids running past him.

"Boys, what did I tell you about that--Terushima?" The voice is filled with shock and confusion, and when he steadies himself, he looks at who's standing in front of him.

"Autumn?" he asks, and he steps to the side to let her in, closing the door behind him. "It's been a minute," he says, and she scoffs.

"It's been longer than a minute," she says almost in disbelief that he's standing in front of her. You walk to your sister with her daughter in your arms with your eyebrows raised.

"Aut, you wanna explain what this is?" you ask, gesturing towards the noisy boys running through your apartment. They run into your legs, both grabbing one, luckily you don't falter, still glaring holes into your sister.

"Auntie Via!" they both yell at the same time, Terushima wincing at the loud volume, and Autumn gives you a sheepish look.

"Look, something came up at the last minute, and I didn't know what else to do," she tells you, and you blink slowly.

"We have another sibling!" you argue, and she smiles at you.

"Yeah, but I don't trust him as much as I trust you," she says like that'll work, and you give her a deadpanned look. "I'm sorry, but I shouldn't be long, I promise. I owe you one," she continues, and you sigh as you roll your eyes.

"Fine," you give in, and she jumps up before giving you a hug on the side that isn't holding her daughter. She starts to head towards the door, and she waves goodbye to her kids, who really aren't paying her any mind, and she quickly slips out the door before they can see that she's leaving.

Your nephews are now focused on Terushima, prodding him with questions about his piercings and his tattoos. "I'm sorry about this," you tell him, and he looks up at you as he shrugs.

"I don't mind. I can stay if you want me to." He moves to go to the living room, but the boys jump on his legs, and he has to drag them to the living room as he walks.

"I can't ask you to do that," you say, smiling at him and your nephews.

"That's okay," he says, "You're not asking me. I'll stay," he concludes before sending a wink over his shoulder.

Turns out Autumn's "I won't be long" turned into five hours. Yeah, she definitely owes you. You're thankful that Terushima stayed, he was able to occupy the kids while you got stuff done that you had planned to do today. But you also hate how domestic it all felt, and it makes your heart do something weird. Like it doesn't know how to feel about the whole thing.

He even somehow managed to feed MJ while keeping your nephews distracted so that you could make dinner. You all eat in the living room, watching a movie that's more so for the boys, while MJ keeps herself entertained in her bouncer. When you all have finished, Terushima takes the dishes and even washes them before planting himself right next to you on the couch.

You notice that MJ is starting to get sleepy, she keeps rubbing her eyes and her bouncing is beginning to slow down. You grab her out of the bouncer, rocking her softly until she falls asleep. You're so glad that she doesn't fight sleep like her brothers did. You start to feel tired yourself, your eyelids feeling heavy, and Terushima seems to notice because he wraps his arm around you, pulling you into him.

You don't even fight it, his body heat pulling you further into sleep. As you're drifting off, you feel someone moving your arm, and you look down to see your nephews laying on either side of you and Terushima, laying down in your laps. You smile fondly as you rub his back before laying your head down on Terushima's shoulder. And before you fully fall asleep, you feel him kiss your forehead.

When Autumn uses her key to get into your place, she doesn't expect to see all of you asleep on the couch along with a questionable guy, but she can't help but smile as she pulls out her phone to take a picture. Once she's got them, she flicks your forehead. Your face scrunches up before you're blinking sleepily. "Oh, hey, you're back," you say, your voice filled with sleep. "Took you long enough."

She laughs quietly as she grabs MJ. "I know, I'm sorry," she whispers. "The twins weren't too much trouble, were they?" she asks, rocking her daughter back to sleep when she stirs.

"Then they usually are? No, not this time." You both exchange a soft chuckle before you carefully remove yourself out of Terushima's grip, not wanting to wake him, and you freeze when he shifts, but he just rolls his head to face the other way.

You help Autumn load her kids in the car, all of them still fast asleep. "I think they've only been asleep for about thirty minutes," you guestimate and she nods, but you know she wants to talk to you about the massive elephant in the room. You sigh. "Go ahead. Let it out."

"What the hell is he doing here? And in your apartment of all places?" You can hear a faint sound of disappointment in her voice considering the fact that you told her what he did to you and what led to your breakup.

You throw your hands up as you shrug. "I don't know. I didn't even know he was here. I found out when he caught me after I fell off my ladder." Her eyes go wide, and you wave her off before she can yell at you. "I didn't know he would be coming over here today either," you admit, and you sigh as you shove your hands into your jacket pockets.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again," she says, and you nod. "You've got nearly four years unaccounted for." You nod again, understanding what she's saying.

"I know, I know, but I don't know. He seems different now," you explain lamely, and you hear her sigh before you raise your head to meet hers.

"I know you don't want to hear a lecture from me, but be careful Via," she warns, and you nod firmly before moving in to give her a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Text me when you get home," you tell her when you pull away. You watch her get in the car and drive off. You sigh again, watching the puff of air disappear into the chilly, night air before you make your way back to your apartment. You smile softly when you see that Terushima is still in the same position you left him in.

You take off your jacket, warming your hands up as you walk over to him. "Teru," you whisper, and when he doesn't respond, you tap him lightly. "Teru," you repeat, and you jump slightly when he grabs your wrist quickly, and he peels his eyes open.

"Your hands are freezing." You chuckle lightly as you see him look around. "The kids are gone?" he asks, rubbing his eyes with his palm.

"Yeah, my sister came and got them." He hums before he starts smiling widely, and your eyebrows come together as you look at him. "What are you smiling about?"

"You called me Teru." You feel your face heat up for the millionth time, and you scoff softly as you move to turn away, but he stops you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards him. He starts to stretch out on the couch, but you don't move, and he pulls you down with a little more force. "Lay with me," he murmurs, his body starting to drift off.

"You need to go home," you tell him, the nickname on the tip of your tongue, but you bite it back. He whines before pulling you down, making you fall onto him, and he traps you with his arms.

"I'll go home when I'm not tired." You chuckle again, situating yourself so that you're comfortable, and you notice that he's staring at you.

"What?" you ask, fighting the urge to shrink under his gaze. He brushes a strand of hair from your face before he rubs your cheek softly with his thumb, and you lean into the touch.

"You're just so beautiful," he whispers, and you huff as you look away, even your ears heating up at the compliment. "Hey." He turns your face so that you're looking at him again. "Can I kiss you?" There's something in your head that's telling you that you're already too deep and that doing this is a really bad idea, but it doesn't win.

You both lean in, and when your lips meet, you feel like you're back in high school, kissing him for the first time all over again. Tingles are sent all through your body as you sigh contently, and you feel yourself falling in love with him all over again. You know this is bad, but you can't bring yourself to care, blaming it on your fatigue.

He pulls away, a sleepy smirk on his face as he pulls you closer to him, your face buried in his neck. "Man, I've missed you so much." You feel your heart flutter at his words, and you're scared to respond with the same thing even though it's clear as day, but the soft snores filling your ears tell you that you don't have to worry about response right now.

Things seemed to do a complete one-eighty after that night. You thought when you would've woken up the next day, things would've been awkward, but to your surprise, you found yourself alone on the couch, and the smell of breakfast food filling your nose. He had made you breakfast, then sent you off to work with a kiss goodbye and a promise to call you later, which you wish you've would've let out when you were telling everything to Kiya.

"So, you guys are dating now?" she asks as she pours a cup of coffee for a customer.

"I don't know, I wouldn't call it that?" you say, unsure of where you both really stand right now. You serve two more plates to a table, and Kiya continues the conversation when you come back.

"But you guys have kissed?" she argues, and you respond with a shrug. "I don't know, from what you've told me, it seems like you two are back together."

"You don't sound very enthusiastic about it," you notice, and she replies with a pout as she tilts her head and you sigh. "Look, I know how things left off between us, but we'll talk about it," you try, and she holds her hands up.

"I'm not trying to tell you who to date or what to do. I just want you to be careful." You nod quickly at the repeat of words, and you really appreciate how much Kiya and Autumn care for you, and you smile as you nudge her.

"I know, thanks for looking out for me," you tell her, and she gives you a smile.

"Of course, that's what I'm here for."

Naturally, things are very prone to blow up in your face, and the blow-up happens about three weeks later. Everything with Terushima has been going pretty smoothly, both of you agreeing to talk about how things were left those years ago. He had been spending a lot more time over at your place, even more than you were spending at his. He'd been helping you babysit whenever your sister had to drop them off. It was like he had inched his way back into your life and planted himself there.

You decided to surprise him and make some of the burgers that he loved the first he came over. You can't help but bound happily to his apartment, the burgers in a plastic container, warm in your hands, and you finally get to his apartment, but just as you're about to knock, you hear laughing. Your hand stops midway as you lean in to put your ear against the door, careful not to alert anyone inside.

You assume it was the TV, but as you listen closely, you can hear Terushima's voice, but you feel your heart shatters when you hear a woman's voice coming from inside. You feel the tears forming in your eyes as you take in more of the conversation before you hear them erupt into laughter.

You finally find it in you to move, slamming the container on the ground before hurrying away from the door, your vision blurry from the tears. You were so stupid, so pathetic. You were so easy, that you fell for it. Again. And you thought that he had changed. You were dumb enough to think that things would be different this time around.

You don't tell anyone what happened, and you don't talk to Terushima. You don't even tell him what you heard, you just stop talking to him. It's not like you had time anyway. You and Kiya were hosting a Christmas party are your shop (her idea, not yours) and you barely had any time to really sit down and breathe. You both spent all day making the food, that you barely had time to sit down.

You luckily had enough time to run home and get in the shower to get ready. You came back just in time for the party to be in full swing, both you and Kiya's families here along with some friends. You've greeted everyone, and now you're just standing around, enjoying the atmosphere around you, while at the same time feeling a little bit insecure about the dress that Kiya made you wear.

It's a red sweater dress that's off the shoulder, but it hugs your body, stopping very close to the bottom of your ass with thigh-high boots. Why she had you wear this, you have no idea, but you decide that you're going to go change when she's preoccupied. "Via." You turn around, your heart dropping at the sight of him in front of you, and you hate how good he looks right now.

He walks closer to you, and his scent fills your nostrils, the way he fills out his suit should be illegal. "You look, wow," he says, shaking his head at a loss for words.

"Ridiculous, I know," you say, pulling at the hem of your dress and he scoffs.

"Gorgeous." You want to accept the compliment, but just looking at him makes you angry and upset at the same time. You mumble a soft thanks, and you're trying to find an excuse to get out of this conversation when he speaks up again. "You haven't been answering my texts or my calls," he starts, and you look away from him as you find an answer.

"Terushima, listen--"

"Via?" You turn your head towards the soft voice, and your eyes widen at the man walking towards you. He gives you a hug, and you reluctantly hug him back, disarray raging inside of your head.

"Kaleb! What are you doing here?" you ask incredulously, and he gives you a quick look of confusion before it's replaced with a smile.

"You invited me?" You raise your eyebrows. You did not invite this man to this party. You didn't even invite Terushima, and they coincidentally show up here? You internally roll your eyes. Kiya.

"I did, didn't I?" you lie. "Right, I'm sorry, I forgot, I've just been so busy." You haven't spoken to Kaleb in about a month. He was the recent guy you were seeing, and he was alright, but he really wasn't your type. You didn't even have his number saved in your phone. You sense even more tension in the air as Terushima and Kaleb stare each other down, and you definitely need way more alcohol.

"Terushima this is Kaleb. Kaleb this is Terushima." They both shake each other's hand, but the tension only seems to get thicker, and you feel like you're suffocating in it.

"If you guys would excuse me for a minute. I'm just going to check on the food," you rush out, not waiting for a response before darting off to find the culprit. When you spot her, you yank her to the side, and if looks could kill she'd drop dead on the spot. "You invited them both here?!" you yell, making sure to keep your voice lower than the music.

"Both? Who are you talking about?" You rub your forehead, feeling the stress really starting to hit you. This was the last thing you expected and you really don't need this right now.

"You invited Terushima and the guy that I ghosted a while ago." You sigh heavily, rubbing the back of your neck as her eyes go wide.

"Oh, shit. I did accidentally text a wrong number by accident, but I thought it was nothing." You give her a tired look, and she tilts her head in confusion. "I mean, it's gonna be okay, but you sound even more frustrated."

You sigh again. This really isn't the place to tell her, but you were going to tell her eventually. "I heard a woman's voice when I went to Terushima's apartment a couple of days ago."

"What?!" she nearly screams, her eyes wide before she slaps a hand over her mouth, realizing how loud she was. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. Because there was just a lot going on, and I didn't want to be sad during the holidays or ruin yours, but that plan has failed miserably." You laugh bitterly, feeling completely drained.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Via. I didn't know." She reaches up to rub your arm as you shake your head.

"No, it's okay. You didn't know." You close your eyes as you take a deep breath, regrouping yourself. "It's okay. We'll worry about it later, 'kay?" You don't let her answer as you walk off, ignoring her calls of your name.

You linger around the party, hoping you don't run into Terushima, but your eyes land on him talking to your mom like they've been friends for years, and it feels like someone ripped your heart out of your chest. How could he just go about his life knowing that he was playing you? Just like he did before.

"Via?" A soft voice and soft hand shift your attention to Kaleb who's come up next to you, and you smile despite the fact that you feel like complete shit and that you're tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

"Hi, Kaleb, what's up?" you ask, and he hands you a drink which you gratefully take, almost downing the whole thing in front of him.

"It's just, um, you're standing somewhere pretty cool." You look at him in confusion before you glance up, seeing mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Kiya must've put this in last minute. You feel your stress building up as you look at him, chuckling softly.

"I guess I am." You know he's going to kiss you, and you've never been so conflicted in your entire life. You don't really want to, but you want to, secretly hoping that Terushima's watching so that he can feel how you're feeling right now. But at the same time, you just wanna go home and cry yourself to sleep.

You've been quiet, your thought preventing you from answering, and you feel his lips on yours, and you feel your body sag slightly at the fact that you don't feel a spark from kissing him unlike when you kiss Terushima. When you pull away, you just happen to look to your right to see a very pissed off Terushima.

You see him shake his head before heading out of the door, and you hand your drink to Kaleb. "I'm sorry, I have to do something, I'll be right back." You rush to the door, disregarding your jacket as you follow Terushima out. "You got a problem or something?" you ask angrily, and he stops in his tracks, his back facing you for a few seconds before he turns around.

"Yeah, I do. You're over here leading me on while you're kissing other guys." You scoff at his accusation.

"Oh, like you're not doing the same thing," you spit back, and he raises his eyebrows at you.

"Excuse me? I haven't been seeing anyone else besides you, but you obviously have other plans."

"You know you have some real balls to accuse me of leading you on when that's all you did the entire time we were dating." He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "No! You entertained girls all the time, sometimes right in front of me. How you reacted to them is not how you're supposed to react when you have a girlfriend. Do you know how pathetic I felt?!" The tears are spilling, and you don't have any more will to stop them.

"I felt so stupid. You made me feel so...ugly." You see his face soften, but you don't wanna hear what he has to say. "And you're accusing me when you had a girl in your apartment a couple of days ago." His eyes widen at that, and he stops his trek towards you.

"What are you talking about?" You scoff as you throw your hands up. You'll have to spell this one out for him too.

"I went to your apartment to give you the burgers that you wanted, but when I went to knock on the door, I heard your voice laughing with another woman's voice." You see his face drop in realization, and he starts to wave his hands. "Did you both enjoy my burgers?" you ask, your voice cracking as more tears fall down your face.

Terushima recalls hearing something fall outside of his door, and when he opened it, he saw the burgers, but he didn't think anything of it. He should've been more aware. How could he be so stupid?

"Wait, Via, baby, that wasn't what it looked like, I swear--"

You chuckle bitterly. "You expect me to believe that?! Because that was the same shit you told me four years ago!" You're past done. You're exhausted. "Fuck you, Yuuji Terushima for being the same piece of shit guy you were four years ago! And for breaking my heart again." Your voice breaks when you say again, and Terushima feels his heart breaking into a million pieces. "I never want to see your face again."

You turn around quickly making your way back into your shop while Terushima stands there frozen, letting you walk out of his life once again. The words you just spoke to him the exact same words you said back then. He feels the tears on his face before he registers them. How could this happen? How did it all go so wrong so fast?

You walk back into the party, thankful that you didn't put mascara on as you wipe your face off, and Kiya walks up to you. "Girlfriend, are you okay?!" she asks you, concern etched all over her face as she pulls you to the side.

"No, I'm not," you tell her honestly. "But, this is a party, and we're supposed to have fun. So, that's what I'm going to do." For what seems like the tenth time tonight, you walk off without waiting for a response.

After everyone left the party, that's when you decided to get yourself drunk. You usually don't drink this much, but you couldn't bring yourself to think about anything else. Kiya takes you home, and she stays with you as you scream, cry, rant until you finally crash on your bed due to a mix of the alcohol and your emotions being all over the place.

She sighs worriedly at your figure, and sits next to you on the bed, brushing her hand over your head before your face which is stained with tear tracks. Your phone on your nightstand rings and Kiya picks it up, seeing that it's Terushima and she rolls her eyes before hitting the decline button. She sees that he's called you non-stop through the night, and she scoffs again. She's pretty sure she could get away with murder.

When the phone rings for the fourth time, Kiya angrily picks it up. "Via, baby, I am so sorry, please listen to me, it was just a misunderstanding--"

"Olivia can't come to the phone right now," Kiya cuts him off curtly. "She's passed out because a fucking piece of shit decided to walk back in her life and break her heart the same fucking way he did four years ago," she spits, and she hears him sigh heavily before he sniffles.

"Kiya, you gotta let me explain, please let me explain." He sounds completely wrecked, Kiya can barely understand what he's saying.

"I don't think so, Terushima. You barely deserved a second chance, and you definitely don't deserve a third. Goodbye."

"Wait, wait, wait! Please! Please let me explain!" He's practically yelling in her ear, and she knows that if she hangs up on him he'll just keep calling. But she's also never heard him like this before.

"Fine. You have five minutes."

It's been roughly a week since one of the lowest moments of your life, and you're not entirely healed, but you definitely feel better, and you swore off getting that drunk ever again due to the awful headache you had when you woke up the next morning. Right now, you were hanging with Kiya, which she fully insisted for whatever reason, and you assume it's just because she wanted to spend time with you before the new year.

"He proposed?!" you yell as you practically throw yourself off the couch. Kiya laughs as she nods. "What? Show me the ring!" you demand, and she holds her hand out which you quickly take into yours to examine her finger. "Woah, that is expensive," you comment as your eyes go wide.

She pulls her hand back as she agrees before looking at it again, her eyes full of love and happiness. You can't help the ping of jealously that stabs at your heart, but you push it away, replacing it with the happiness for your best friend. "So, I'm obviously going to be the maid of honor," you say matter-of-factly, and she laughs as she rolls her eyes.

"Of course you are. There's no one else I would want it to be." You both talk for a couple more hours, and you look at the clock on your phone.

"I should probably go. I don't want to implode on the newly engaged couple. He's going to be home soon, right?" you ask, standing and stretching.

"Yeah, but it's okay, you can stay. We won't mind." You shake your head as you start to gather your things.

"It's okay. I've got a bunch of takeout and some wine calling my name at home." You slip on your coat and your boots. That's mostly the reason why. The other reason why is that you really don't want to see any happy couples right now. That's just putting salt in a wound that's slowly healing. "Congratulations again, Kiya. I'll text you when I get home." She nods while walking you to the door, and she watches you walk to your car and drive off before closing the door.

You yawn loudly when you get home, kicking your boots off and throwing your jacket onto the couch. You decide that you're going to take a nap first, and then you'll eat, and as you walk to your room, you feel something under your feet. At first, you thought it was something weird on your sock, but when you keep feeling it, you look down to see rose petals?

You turn back to the door. You had locked the door when you left, and you just unlocked the door when you came home, so...

"Hello?" you call out into the quiet apartment, but you receive no response, and you follow the trail of rose petals, assuming that this is possibly the way that you're going to go out. The trail stops at your door, and you slide the door open, gasping when you see what's inside.

The lights are off, the only light being provided is from the vanilla-scented candles all over the room. There are rose petals all over the place, and there are vases of your favorite flowers spread out across the room, and standing in the middle of it is Terushima.

He's facing you, wringing his hands together nervously as he watches you take in the new changes made. "What is all this?" you ask in disbelief, and he steps forward before he speaks.

"An apology. I mean, I don't really think I can make up for the pain that I've caused you, but there's been a huge misunderstanding." You sigh softly as you look away.

"Terushima..." you start, and he startles you when he falls to his knees before grabbing your hands.

"Via, I'm begging you to let me explain. If you let me explain, then I'll be out of your hair. You won't hear from me ever again. And I know I don't deserve this, but please, please, let me explain." You only respond with a nod, mostly because of how he's acting right now. "For starters, I am so sorry for how I've made you feel. This year and four years ago. It was never my intention to make you cry or to break your heart, and I did both of those things, and so much more."

He takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Second, that girl in my apartment is not what you think," he tells you firmly making you roll your eyes, and he quickly starts speaking again. "I know, I know, but let me explain." He quickly pulls his phone out of his pocket like he's afraid that you're going to leave.

You watch as he brings up a conversation with a number before scrolling up to a certain part of the conversation, and he turns the phone to you. You hesitantly grab the phone, looking at him before bringing your eyes to look at the phone. You scroll through the messages, the messages themselves not outright telling you that he was seeing another girl.

One of them says 'it'll be ready in a couple of days,' another one says that 'you can meet me at my place.' That one's from Terushima. You hand him back the phone, not convinced at all. "You told her she could meet you at your place."

"And I should've realized how that would've looked. I was stupid, I wasn't thinking, and I'm sorry." You gesture to the phone.

"What was supposed to be ready?" you ask, your voice full of disinterest, and he quickly pockets the phone before reaching into his front pocket. Your eyes widen when he pulls out a box small enough for a ring, and he grabs your hand before you have the chance to move.

He opens it to reveal a small, simple ring with your birthstone in it. "Terushima..." you trail off, and he shakes his head.

"It's not what it looks like. It's a promise ring." A soft, surprised expression comes over your face. "It's a promise to you that I'm going to be better. Everyone knows that I don't deserve you, but this is a promise to you that I'm going to become the man that you deserve." Now you feel the tears coming, and he keeps going.

"It's a promise that I'm never going to hurt you again." He stands up quickly, your head now lifting upward to look him in the eyes. "Olivia, you mean the world to me. There's no else but you, there hasn't been, and there never will be." He takes the ring out of the box, setting the box on your dresser.

"I love you so much that it hurts. You're all I ever think about as soon as I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. Please, give me another chance. I promise I won't make you regret it." The tears are falling more frequently, and you wipe them away.

"How do I know you're not lying?" you ask quietly, trying to keep your weak resolve up. He steps closer to you.

"You know that I'm not lying," he tells you confidently, his gaze never wavering from yours, and you sigh knowing that he's right. He's one of the worst liars you've ever met, having tells for days. And none of them are showing. You're still fighting it in your head, looking down away from him, and he tilts it back up by your chin.

"Please. I will never make you feel that way ever again. I promise." He tells you firmly, his voice solid. Terushima feels like his heart explodes when you nod your head. He slides the ring onto your finger before wiping the tears from your eyes. He's so happy he could cry. He plants his lips on yours quickly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling him into him.

"Please, let me show you," he pleads after he pulls away, holding your face in his hands.

"Okay." That's all he needs before he's picking you up, your legs wrapped around his waist as he carries you to the bed, and he never breaks the kiss as you land on your back. He moves you further up on the bed before moving his lips to your neck, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses on your skin.

Your hands move to his hair as you feel him biting marks into your skin, and you know that you're going to look like a freaking leopard tomorrow. He pulls your shirt off, throwing it somewhere off to the side, your bra soon following, and he doesn't waste any time attacking your breasts, one hand stimulating one while his mouth is on the other.

He pulls your hardened nipples between his teeth and his fingers at the same time, making your back arch off the bed at the different feelings. After marking up one breast, he moves to the other, doing the same thing before he starts to kiss down your abdomen.

He looks up at you when he reaches the waistband of your sweatpants, and you nod quickly as he groans seeing how your pupils are blown with lust. He quickly gets rid of your sweats, groaning again when he sees the growing wet spot across your crotch.

He licks a broad stripe up your covered cunt, both of you moaning simultaneously as you squeeze his head with your thighs. He makes quick work of your panties, almost ripping them with how eager he is to taste you. He digs his fingers into your thighs, almost entranced by your naked sex, and he teases you a bit more by marking up your thighs, whining when he pulls the skin between his teeth.

"Yuuji, stop teasing," you whine, and he smiles wickedly before he spreads your legs.

"I gotcha, pretty girl," he coos before licking another stripe through your folds, the action so sudden that it makes you jump slightly. His hands press your legs into the mattress as he eats you out like you're his last meal. "You taste so fucking good," he moans, the vibrations only elevating the feeling, and the taste of you on his tongue and the sounds you're making are like heaven, and he's close to blowing his load that he has to force himself to hold back.

He moves up to your clit, running circles over it with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth, making the grip on his hair tightening just shy of painful. He prods a finger at your hole before slowly inching his way in, and he ruts against the bed to find some release. You already feel so good on his finger, so he can only imagine what you'll feel like when you take his dick.

He slides another finger in while continuing to use his mouth on your clit, stretching you out before sliding in a third. He curls his fingers, hitting that spot inside of you with ease, making you release a loud moan. "Teru," you gasp, and he smirks against you.

"You close, baby?" he prods, already knowing the answer. He keeps curling his fingers, the squelching sounds almost overpowering your moans, and he feels you pulling at his hair, this time painful, but he can't bring himself to care as he licks up your clit making sure his piercing strikes it.

You cum with a scream, and he moans when you clench on his fingers, but he keeps going, his fingers seeming to go deeper inside of you, and a weird feeling sits in your core, and you try to push him away, but he keeps going until you feel another release.

"Fuck. Holy shit, babe." You come down from your high, gasping for air as you watch him come up with your juices all over his face while he sucks his fingers clean. "You just squirted." You move to cover your face with your hands but he stops you. "Don't be ashamed. That was really hot," he admits, licking around his mouth to get some more.

He kisses you hungrily, and you moan as you taste yourself on his tongue and when his piercing knocks against your teeth. He hisses and breaks the kiss when you palm his straining erection through his jeans. "Do you want me to return the favor?" you ask, still breathless from your previous orgasm, and he lightly brushes your hand away as he shakes his head.

"Later, right now is all about you," he tells you, and you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him close to you.

"Then I want you to fuck me," you whisper against his lips, and he groans before making quick work of his shirt and his jeans. You can see a huge wet spot in the front of his briefs, and he gets rid of them quickly, his dick smacking his abdomen once it's free.

He stands at the edge of the bed, lazily stroking himself, and you feel your mouth go dry at how beautiful he is, so you tell him, and he responds with a soft chuckle, but you can see his face deepen with a blush at the compliment. "Nah, that's all you, baby girl." He smirks when he sees your eyes widening once they land on the pair of metal balls at the head of his length. "You like it?" he quips, and you just gulp, your eyes having a hard time looking away from the angry red tip dripping with pre.

His eyes drag down your figure, making you hot all over and he moves onto the bed, hovering himself over you. "You're so gorgeous. The prettiest woman I've ever met." You don't have time to feel flustered by his words because he leans down to kiss you, this one different from the previous ones.

This one is softer and filled with love, but still has the same amount of passion and hunger. "I have a condom," he tells you when he pulls away, and you shake your head.

"I wanna feel you," you tell him, lust dripping in your words, and he bites back a moan as he gives you one last kiss before guiding his dick towards your leaking hole. He pumps himself a few more times before sliding in, and you can't help the whine that falls from your lips.

It's been so long since you've felt him inside of you. And it's an addicting feeling you didn't even know you were missing until now. "Fuck, you are so tight. Shit." He bottoms out, stretching you in the best possible way, and he rests his head against yours.

"Move, Yuuji," you urge, and he nods while he pants.

"I know, baby, I know, give me a second. Fuck." He takes a few more deep breaths, and when he's sure that he's not going to bust just from how warm you feel, he backs up until only the tip is inside and he rams back into you, making the bed knock against the wall.

You cry out, your arms wrapping around his neck again as he repeatedly slams back into you, the feeling of the piercing rubbing against your walls foreign, but it feels so good. He keeps shifting his hips until he finds that spongy spot inside of you, and he grips the headboard, using it as leverage to piston that spot, and you feel like you're going to explode with pleasure.

You rake your nails down his back, and he feels it hit every nerve ending all over his body, and his hips falter just a tad when you clench around him. "Fuck, baby, touch yourself for me, please touch yourself," he spills out, knowing he's not going to last much longer.

You bring your hand down to roll hard circles on your bud, clenching at the sudden stimulation, and Terushima shudders. "Feels so good, Yuuji," you moan out, and he can't help but reciprocate it as his face scrunches up in pleasure.

"You feel too good, baby, oh my God." You can sense that he's close, so you clench around him again, and that's what send him over the edge, letting out a shout of your name as his hot seed shoots into you.

He doesn't stop moving though. He brings one hand down to your shoulder and fucks into you harder than he had before. He whines at the overstimulation, but he's determined to get you there. "Cum for me, baby, cum for me."

With one last hard thrust, you cum hard, back arching off the bed as you scream his name while Terushima moans at you coming undone under him. Your back meets the bed again, and Terushima rests his head on your forehead as you both catch your breath.

He pulls out of you slowly, wincing at the overwhelming feeling of pleasure mixing with pain before he gets up and makes his way to the bathroom the best he can on shaky legs. You feel yourself starting to drift off, and you jump when you feel something warm at your core.

"Sorry, I gotta clean you up," he tells you softly, wiping the mix of your juices away before putting the rag in the sink in the bathroom. He comes back, pulling the blankets down and getting in before pulling you into his chest. "I love you so much, Olivia. And I am so sorry. I won't make you regret giving me another chance."

You look up at him with a sleepy smile and sleepy eyes before sitting up to kiss him. "I love you too, and I forgive you, maybe," you joke, and you giggle when he pinches your side.

The rhythm of his heartbeat and the finger dragging up and down your arm lulls you to sleep fast, and the last thing you remember is hearing "goodnight."

Terushima wakes up before you, the sunlight bleeding in through the blinds and into his eyes. He takes a deep breath in and looks around, thankful that he remembered to blow out the candles before he went to sleep. He looks down to see you still sleeping peacefully, and he feels his heart do a somersault. He finally has you and he going to make sure that you don't leave. Not again.

He never realized what he was taking for granted until you broke up. He had slept with a few other girls, but they weren't you. All he could think about was you. He even got kicked out of a girl's place naked because he accidentally called her by your name. He pulls you closer to him, and you stir slightly, moving your head so that it's angled more towards his.

He thinks you look ethereal. The way the sunlight makes your brown skin glow almost makes him melt. He runs a finger down your sleeping face lightly before brushing the hair out of your face. "I'm sorry for being so stupid," he starts even know he knows you can't hear him. "I didn't realize what I had lost until it was too late. I wish I could go back in time so I could fix it or beat myself up, one or the other," he jokes laughing softly. "Probably both."

He rubs your back softly. "I don't even know if I have enough words to describe how much you mean to me. I should've never entertained those girls, like I said I was an absolute idiot, and to be honest, I didn't think you would've given me a second chance. I would've understood if you didn't." He holds you a little tighter. "But I'm glad that you did. I love you, and I'm going to keep saying it until you get tired of it, but I want you to know that. I want you to know that it's true and that I seriously mean it."

He takes a deep breath. "After the Christmas party, I cried so hard I almost threw up." He laughs bitterly, he doesn't really know why he's saying this, but he feels like he should get it off his chest. "That night it felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on multiple times. I only have myself to blame though. And I figured that must've been what you felt like because of me, and that happened to you twice.

"I was almost in hysterics. I kept calling your phone, but you never answered, and when I was about to give up, Kiya picked up the phone." He laughs again." And she almost hung up on me until I explained to her everything that happened and the huge misunderstanding that caused all of this. She held me put this whole plan together actually. She got you out of your apartment so I could do all of this."

He looks down at you again, giving you a kiss on your forehead. "I hope you stay with me forever. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You really are sappy in the morning." Your groggy voice makes him jump, and you smile as you struggle to hold back your laugh, peeling your eyes open to reveal a very red Terushima.

"You were awake?!" he asks, and you laugh fully as you nod. "You heard everything?!"

You nod again. "I did, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking in your sleep, but I realized it was too coherent for it to be sleep talk." You sit up, resting your hand on his chest and putting your chin on top. "Did you mean everything you said?"

He responds quickly. "Every word." You fight back tears as he pulls you in for another kiss, his hand resting on the back of your head softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Yuuji Terushima."

EPILOGUE:

"Teru, you're not taking me to the woods to kill me, are you?" you ask, looking around blindly due to the blindfold wrapped around your eyes. You hear him laugh as you feel him take another turn.

"No, I'll do that for our next anniversary." You laugh as you try to figure out where you are. Terushima had woken you up saying that he was going to show you your anniversary present, but then he blindfolded you and led you to the car. "Stop trying to figure out where we are with your weird powers!" he yells at you, and you nudge at him while playing with your necklace that he got for you after you both made up. It has his name on it, and he bought a matching chain with your name on it.

"It's not my fault I know this city like the back of my hand." You feel him take another turn, and you close your eyes as you try to narrow it down. "Are we in a subdivision?" You smirk when you hear him groan, knowing you guessed right.

"Can you please stop? You'll ruin the surprise."

"It's hard to focus on anything else," you admit, and you quickly go quiet when you feel his hand rubbing up and down your thigh.

"It is hard now?" he asks you, lowly, and you feel your core clench at his words and his actions. Now you can't focus on anything but his hand, but you're abruptly pulled from his actions when you feel the car stop. You hear him turn the car off and you hear his door open and close while you take your seatbelt off.

Your door opens, and he's guiding you out of the car. "You ready?"

You jump excitedly in impatience. "Yes, yes, hurry up!" He peels off the blindfold, and you blink a few times, letting your eyes adjust to the light before they focus on a two-story house. "A house?" You feel something cold touch your hand, and you look down to see a pair of keys in your hand.

"Our house." Your eyes go wide as you snap your head up to look at Terushima before looking back at the house. "Happy anniversary, baby."

"Are you fucking serious?!" you say, jumping into his arms, almost taking him out before you run towards the door, unlocking it as fast you can. Terushima smiles at you fondly as he follows you around the house as you tour it.

"This bedroom's kinda small though," he comments, looking around, and you step in the room, spinning around as you look at the room before stopping to face Terushima.

"I don't know. I think it's the perfect room for a nursery," you admit, and you see him shrug as he looks around again before the words dawn on him. He almost breaks his neck to look at you, and you smile widely as you nod.

"You're fucking serious?! I'm gonna be a dad?!" He runs to you, picking you and spinning you around. You both laugh loudly before he sets you down, pulling you into a loving kiss that leaves you breathless.

"Happy anniversary, Yuuji."

A/N: If you stayed this long thank you for reading, but if you didn’t, I don’t blame you LMAO

#terushima yuuji #yuuji terushima #terushima yuuji x reader #terushima yuuji x you #yuuji terushima x reader #yuuji terushima x you #terushima smut #terushima yuuji smut #terushima fic #terushima fluff #terushima angst #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!! fluff #haikyuu!! smut #hq fluff #hq smut #hq angst

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atlfics · 3 years

Text

Stubborn- All Time Low Fanfiction

Alex gets sick on tour but refuses to let it get in his way. Word Count: 2061

More notes at the end.

“Jack, I’m literally fine, will you stop worrying so much?” Alex asked Jack as they cleared their things out of the green room of the studio they’d just recorded a couple of interview segments in with the rest of the band.

“Hey man, all I’m saying is that you don’t sound like yourself, so much so that even our interviewer noticed it,” Jack countered, putting on his jacket.

“Well, we’ve never met her before today, so that doesn’t count. I’m just having a little congestion from allergies, so it’s no big deal. Now, will you please stop acting like a helicopter parent over me so we can walk out to the car so we can get to the venue on time for soundcheck?”

“I guess so. I have all of my stuff, so I’m ready whenever you are,”

The two of them quickly made their way through the studio and outside to the car service, where Rian and Zack were already waiting.

“It took you guys long enough,” Rian sarcastically stated, not bothering to look up from his phone.

“Yeah, yeah, just scoot over so Alex and I can get in,” Jack replied. He sat in the middle next to Rian, giving Alex the seat behind the passenger.

They’d been on tour for a few weeks now, and it had been a blast so far. The gigs had been great, the fans were incredible, and the memories they were making were easily the best part. Alex had been going out with the rest of the band and crew more than he had on previous tours, and he knew that all of the partying would eventually take a toll on him.

That morning he’d woke up to a slight headache and some congestion but didn’t want to think too much of it. Jack seemed to think that this meant that Alex was getting sick, especially since he was developing a bit of a cough as the day went on, but Alex was positive that his friend was wrong. He knew that he could tell when he was starting to feel under the weather, and now wasn’t one of those times, he was sure of it.

The ride was mostly silent, aside from some coughing from Alex, which Jack made sure to give him a glare over. Alex rolled his eyes at his friend and tried to ignore the soreness that was worsening in his throat. Once they got to the venue, they started right into soundcheck.

Normally, Alex enjoyed this part of the day, mostly because they were able to goof off some while still getting their work done, but this time wasn’t as fun. He had a hard time reaching some of the higher notes that normally didn’t give him very much trouble. Alex did his best to make it work, but eventually a high note made his voice crack, sending him into a coughing fit. The rest of the band quit playing, and Jack and Zack went over to Alex, Jack rubbing his friend’s back.

“Are you sure you’re alright, man? You do sound a bit sick,” Zack stated once Alex was able to calm himself down.

“This is just allergies, guys. If I were really coming down with something, I’d no doubt know about it,” Alex replied, clearing his throat.

“If you say so. I’d say we’re done with soundcheck anyway, right?” Rian asked from behind his drumkit.

“Yeah, let’s just go in the green room for now. I want to look up the bars around here, I feel like this would be a great party city, especially if some of the fans over twenty-one came, too. That was so fun when we did that a few cities back!” Jack exclaimed, as everyone made their way offstage and to the green room.

The time until the show passed by fairly quickly; Rian and Zack took some time to themselves to talk on the phone with family, Jack left to do some exploring, according to him. Alex stayed in the green room the whole time, and he couldn’t deny that he noticed himself start to feel worse as time progressed. His coughing was becoming much more frequent, his headache was stronger, he felt more congested, and his body was a bit sore, leaving him to feel generally more worn down, and bordering sick. At this point, Alex knew that he was coming down with something, but he didn’t want to give it much thought; they had a show to do, and a few thousand fans to make happy.

When everyone met up at the stage entrance right before it was time to go on, Alex didn’t say anything to anyone, hoping to get through the show without raising too much concern from his bandmates. The show went alright, but Alex was a bit upset knowing that it probably could’ve- and should’ve- gone better. His voice got worn down very quickly, partly from using and, and also from coughing more and more as the show went on. His headache had gotten worse from the bright lights, loud music and screaming fans, and it caused him to mess up on some of his guitar parts from a lack of concentration.

By the very end of the show, Alex was sweating profusely, despite also shivering and being unable to make himself feel warm. Feeling like a shell of who he was before the show, Alex left the stage as fast as he could so he could go back onto the bus, away from all of the madness.

After having some fun with the fans, Jack, Zack, and Rian made their way offstage.

“Where the fuck did Alex go? He’s going to miss out on going to the bars if we can’t find him within the next few minutes,” Zack said, setting down his bass.

“Well, maybe he’ll catch up to us eventually. Jack, do you want to go ahead and head out with Zack and I?” Rian offered.

“Nah, you guys go ahead, I’ve got some things to tend to,” Jack replied.

“Suit yourself. If you come out, text us so we can let you know where we are,” Rian said back.

“Will do, you guys have fun,”

Jack went back to the green room to grab the few things he’d left there during the show, also grabbing what Alex had left behind, knowing Alex wasn’t going to come back to get it himself. Once he had everything, he made his way over to the tour bus. As he walked up the steps, he heard loud, harsh coughs and cringed at how painful they sounded.

Alex was sitting at the kitchen table with his head down as his coughing fit continued. Jack dropped what he was holding and took a seat next to his friend then rubbed his back until the fit finally went away, causing him to look up.

“So, are you still going to try to convince me that you’re not sick, or are we finally past that?” Jack sarcastically asked.

“I guess I don’t have much of an argument now, do I?”

“You didn’t even have one earlier, man. How’re you feeling?”

“To be honest, pretty bad. I’m freezing, everything hurts, my head is pounding, and my throat feels like it’s on fire from all of the coughing,” Alex explained, sneezing.

“That sounds pretty brutal. Why are you out here instead of in your bunk or in the back, watching a movie on the couch?”

“Well, I really wanted to get some tea or medicine, but we don’t seem to have either. I didn’t have the energy to go all the way to the back, so I sat out here,” Alex explained, wiping his nose with his sleeve.

“We’re going to get you to the back, but I have something for you first,”

Jack got up and went over to his bunk, then grabbed a Walgreen’s bag, and finally took it over to where Alex was sitting.

“What’s all this?”

“Well, even though you thought I was being dramatic earlier, I could tell that you were starting to come down with something. Remember how I left the venue for a bit? There’s a Walgreen’s right down the street from here, so I walked there and picked up a few things for you,”

“Did you really do that for me?”

“Yeah, I did. Someone had to make sure you’d be taken care of, and it certainly wasn’t going to be you,” Jack joked, earning an eye roll from Alex.

“You can keep the sarcasm to yourself,”

“Sorry, you know I joke about everything. Anyway, I got you that honey lemon tea you really like, some cough drops, fever reducers, tissues, and some medicine to help with your congestion,” Jack said, pulling everything out of the bag.

“Thank you for doing this, man, I really appreciate it,” Alex said, giving his friend a weak smile.

“Of course, dude. Why don’t you go change into something more comfortable, then go into the back and set yourself up on the couch? I’ll make you some tea and get the medicine,”

“That sound great,”

Alex stood up, then slowly went to the bunk area to change, and Jack got started on his tea. As he heated it up, he could hear Alex coughing, and he felt bad for his friend. While he knew Alex wasn’t fully well earlier on in the day, he certainly didn’t expect for Alex to get so sick so fast.

Once everything was done, he took it all to the back, where Alex was laying on the couch, shivering with no blanket covering him.

“Here, take this, I’ll be right back,”

Jack handed Alex what he’d brought into the room, then went to Alex’s bunk and grabbed his comforter. When he got back, he draped the blanket over his friend.

“Thanks, Jack,” Alex said with a sneeze. Jack took a seat next to Alex, then put a hand to his forehead.

“Man, you feel pretty warm,” Jack pointed out.

“That may be true, but I’m freezing,” Alex replied, sounding sad. Jack scooted closer to his friend and extended his arm so Alex could latch on.

“Here, come closer so you can stay warm,”

“No way, man. I don’t want to get you sick. Besides, weren’t you looking forward to going out to the bars and partying tonight?”

“I was, but being here with you is way more important right now,”

“I’ve been sick and alone on tour feeling much worse than this before, I’ll be fine,”

“Maybe so, but I don’t want you to have to do that this time. I’m going to stay right here with you,” Jack stated, making Alex smile as he finally took Jack up on his offer, and snuggled into him.

“Well, thanks, I really do appreciate it. If I get you sick, you can’t complain since you suggested this,” Alex said, partly joking.

“I’ll be fine, I’m not concerned about that at all. I just want you to feel better so tour can be fun for you again,”

“Same here, man. Being under the weather on the road is the worst,”

Another coughing fit struck Alex, and he stayed burrowed into Jack’s side as he coughed as he coughed, and Jack rubbed his back.

“Man, you really don’t sound good,” Jack said, sounding concerned.

“I don’t feel much better than I sound. Hey, can we put something on?”

“Oh yeah, let’s see what’s on,”

Jack grabbed the remote from the shelf behind him and turned on the TV. After some browsing, he found a movie that they both liked and put it on. About ten minutes into the movie, Alex looked up at Jack.

“What is it?” Jack asked, laughing some.

“Thank you for being here with me and taking care of me,”

“No problem, man, you know I’m happy to do it. You just focus on getting some rest so you can feel better,”

Alex turned back to the direction of the TV and continued to watch the movie. Not very far into it, Alex fell asleep, lightly snoring from the congestion.

Jack considered sneaking back to his bunk to go to sleep, but he couldn’t bring himself to disturb his friend by leaving. He got a bit more comfortable on the couch then closed his eyes, happy to be helping his best friend.

A/N: Hey guys, it's been a while since I published a sickfic! I wrote this full fic, as well as another one yesterday and decided to post this one first since the other one deals with mental health, like many of my other recent fics have! This one was very fun to write, hopefully it's not too much like my previous works! As always, please send in requests, I love bringing your ideas to life, and am happy to write whatever you all want! I hope you enjoyed this fic, thank you for reading! Lots of love, Liv.

#all time low #Alex Gaskarth #Jack Barakat #Rian Dawson #Zack Merrick #ATL #sickfic #atlsickfic #atl sickfic

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spacemilkies · 4 years

Text

gateau→ ; part i of iii

pairing: cal kestis x reader

word count: 2.5k+

summary: “So you had a Jedi as a roommate … that wont be a problem in the future or anything.”

a/n: a bunch of new things to get me writing. all written at some ungoldly hour. this will probably be a three part series. something short and simple, based off the prologue with some background. hey, no song fic for once. i spent all day in this fandom. i feel ready. put me in coach.

_______

“C’mon just this once, please.”

“Oh ho, no no. This is definitely not the first time.”

There was never a good reason for your roommate to visit you on the job. Not only were you stationed on opposite side of the station, you differing positions also lessened the opportunity for you to meet up without explicit reason.

He was a rigger and you were a builder, simple as that.

You refrained from lifting your mask, maintaining a sense of distance from the conversation as you continued to weld the two pieces of metal together. Maybe if you did your job hard enough he would eventually give up out of respect of your workload….

Who were you kidding.

A fiery shock of red hair crouched down next to you, apparently uncaring for the wayward sparks emitting from your torch. It was only when he dared to lean closer that you reluctantly cut the power out of concern for basic occupational safety.

Flipping the hood of your mask, you gave him your sharpest glare to which he combatted easily with a killer smile. If only it was as effective on his conquests as he seemed to think the same applies to you.

“You’re all just going to melt it down any.”

Any metals and ores that made it up here were better than the average scraps found in the lower sectors and certainly worth a pretty sum of credits. It was your roommate's favorite way to exploit your job and threaten your only means of survival in the same breath.

Darting your gaze around, you found that for once your colleges were rather forgiving of personal space. Though it didn’t mean that your supervisors wouldn’t have watchful eyes on your every move. Hence why these daring favors tended to have more impact than meaningless valve.

You weren’t agreeing. Definitely were not going to get drawn into to those pleading baby blues. You were just curious.

“And what exactly do two upstanding individuals as yourselves need with my fine metals?”

Cal’s smirk was shallow but no where lacking in its killer properties,” I’d bend your fine metals anyway.”

With a huff, you nudged him away with your shoulder. Practice allowing you to ignore the faint flush it brought to your cheeks.

“You’re wasting time, Cal.”

“Just something nice. I’ll pay you back.”

You were not going to fall for it Totally, explicitly would not lose resolve on your promise to not give in like last time. You were strong and resilient and Cal was a big boy with his own means of survival and-

“I swear to all above, Cal if you-”

The force of his lips against your cheek nearly knocked you over and you were left momentarily stunned as nimble fingers searched knowingly against your body. Before you knew it, he was drawing away, your access card in hand.

You should be happy with how quickly he scrambled to his feet, prepared for a hasty departure. It wouldn’t be long before your superiors began making their rounds and the last thing they wanted to see was a scrapper hunting around their stores.

Gesturing with two fingers against his temple, Cal waved off before he disappeared around the corner.

“Why are you not working? Your pay is based on your progress, not your time.”

Swallowing down a retort, you merely smiled shallowly in response to the haughty order as you tugged back down your face mask, Cal’s phantom touch still lingering against your form.

“Of course, sir.”

_______

It should be said that Cal wasn’t a terrible roommate. In fact, when he first responded to your advertisement you had a feeling that he would actually be a helpful one.

That was a lie.

You knew that he would be a cute one. Someone that you would have to try /really hard to keep your hands off of. Fortunately for you, at the beginning he felt more like a brother than a bachelor. His boyish habits cutting into some of his charm.

It didn’t take much longer than that before the two of you fell into a rhythm of sorts.

Having another human around was kind of nice too.

Not to say you preached xenophobia. Some of your closer friends on this desolate planet were part of varying species. But in a way it aided in building a familiar quality of home even as you reside on the opposite side of the galaxy.

Cal was moderately fair roommate. He wasn’t spotty with rent and you split the amenities, as scarce as they were, fairly. He was a little messy but not in the obnoxious unhygienic way.

Everything was balanced.

And you couldn’t really complain.

He was a great guy. His humor and antics proving to raise your mood after a long day. Just the way he spoke about his own day bringing tears to your eyes and curling your stomach with laughter.

You were a capable engineer, even though your talents were wasted on rebuilding the same schematics over and over again. At home, you are able to hone your own skills. Working on various knick knacks and gadgets. It was nice to have a second opinion as well.

The two of you had spent many nights huddled around the living room surrounded by scattered parts and various prototypes. Only to have to separate the more advanced ones in fear of being caught.

It was nice.

_______

“Damn, I didn’t think the boss would ever let you off.”

With less finesse and not a care in the world, you dropped haggeded into the seat offered by your friends. After another long week it was nice to finally load off with a few drinks and company chatter.

For some reason the quota skyrocketed in the past few weeks. The recycling of old metal into new vessels becoming an unrelenting force on your crew.

It turned out to be one of the worst moments to find yourself promoted.

To think just three weeks ago you were throwing around drinks in celebration and now you were ready to drown out the accomplishment with whatever was on tap.

“Apparently they’re bringing in a huge freighter soon,” you called out solemnly. Your supervisor had shown you the schematics of the parts that would be salvaged and what they wanted to accomplish with its predecessor.

After another long shift all you could really make out was work and more work.

But at least the same would be said for the riggers.

To your right Reif, a Rodian, spoke crudely over a mouthful of food,” Yeah, been hearing about that one for sometime now. Suppose to be a Separist ship. Going to be quite the project.”

Slouching idly in your seat, you played lazily with the handle of the mug offered to you. Just another long project to keep you stranded on this planet. Not to say you had any plans otherwise.

If anything you should really thank them for giving you something to focus on.

Garnering everyone’s attention with a slam of her glass against the table, Enisa a pretty pale blue Rylothian, slurs loudly,” Enough of all this work talk. Let’s focus on something else.”

Then she’s sliding sharply into you, leaving you to fumble with your own glass,” Like your roommate. Why didn’t you tell me he was available.”

Because you weren’t in the market providing companions?

Your furrowed burrow must have voiced your thoughts because she was rolling her eyes without your verbal response.

“Oh don’t play dumb. You’re harboring one of the few attractive souls on this god forsaken planet. And you’re not even bumping uglies with him, what a shame.”

You were stuck between defending your own choices and wondering when she learned such a human phrase. It was hardly worth the effort of explaining how the two of you just weren't like that. Your inventory of excuses were running dry.

“Stop making it awkward for her, she has to live with the guy.”

Catching Reif’s gaze over the rim of your glass, you give him a thankful nod. The rest of your group takes the initiative to fill the silence and progresses the conversation further into the night. Unlike most outings, neither of you are able to keep up with one another past a few extra hours. The weight of the day taking more out of you as it came to a close.

You’re not the only one grateful when Reif brings the outing to a close.

There is just enough alcohol in your system to make you stumble through the threshold of your home, groaning quietly as you try to stabilize yourself. More likely than not Cal was already asleep and you didn’t want to disrupt that.

Now with the evening settling into your bones, there wasn't a part of your body that didn't ache and the incoming headache didn't make any part of it better.

Right now the couch was looking a lot more inviting than it should be. You’d deal with the consequences it would leave on your body in the morning.

Rounding the edge, you collapsed back into the cushions.

“What the hell?”

“Shit, Cal! What the fuck?”

A sharp hiss escapes him when your elbow jabs unkindly into the softness of his side. Before you could try to remedy it, his hand is gripping your upper arm and settling you more safely in the available space rather than on top of him.

For a moment it's just your mixed breaths as you come down from the unexpected surprise. With more care, you twist more comfortably mindful of your limbs this time.

It's hardly necessary but you whisper anyway.

“Why are you here?”

You feel his arm wiggling behind your head and you raise your neck obediently to allow it to rest beneath you. As a reward, the same hand curls inward to comb through your hair lazily. He works his fingers across your nape and back up to your scalp finding just the right spot and drew small circles.

“Dunno, just came home and ended up here. Kind of like you but less dramatically.”

You snort, “Sorry, wasn’t expecting a party of two.”

He hums to himself, the pad of his thumb pressing inward in a way the manages to reset your whole mindframe and you nearly white out from the release.

There is more that could be said but the words escape you both as you settle for the night. If you weren't already going to regret this before, you were definitely were going to more now for an entirely different reason. But there was no chance of you altering the flow of what it was now.

You would just have to lay there and try not to think too hard about the natural slot of your body to Lance’s despite the finite space. It was much easier to count the staccato of his dull thumping heartbeat as it lulled you off to sleep.

_______

“Goddammit, Meeka. You’re going to wake up your mom.”

Too late.

Though in the defense of your mischievous loth-cat, the warm smell of breakfast permeating from the kitchen was just one waft away from rousing you. Stretching out your arms, you used the length of them to hook around the back of the couch to drag you up.

Questionably burnt but you recognize the scent of some of your favorites.You has not caught a glimpse of what he was wearing last night but Cal appears to be wearing some fresh clothes. The way the collar of his shirt is damp in the back hints towards a shower.

Part of you wonders if breakfast is a preemptive apology towards a cold shower you would be expecting later.

“Where do you have to go so early?”

If you startle him, he doesn't show. He slides a bit of food onto a plate, giving Meeka more than gracious portion before bringing the plate to you. You take it gratefully, balancing it on the spine of the couch.

Alert to your presence and no doubt ready to beg for more scraps, you watch unimpressed as the feline-like creature slinks against you. She gets what's expected anyway as you part with a strip of meat.

Leaning against the counter within view, Cal scolds you playfully. “And you said I spoil her.”

“You start it,” you retort without any bite.

You blame the queasiness on residue alcohol when he laughs warmly.

“Oh. “ You look up and Cal has a fork pointed at you. ‘’Your access card is on the table there.”

You’d already forgotten about that.

“Get anything good?” Safely, is weighted on your tongue but it seems like a waste to add it. Cal has always been mindful of his self, actions and footsteps in a way that makes you wonder how long he’s been watching his own back.

In the few years you’ve known him, things like the past rarely came up. No one really came to Bracca chasing a future. It was just a means to an end until you could find something better if you could manage to get out.

You hard already stopped trying when Cal stumbled into your life. But now it hardly seemed like a bad thing.

The clank of dishes brings you out of your thoughts. His back is to you now as he cleans his mess.

“It will be a nice personal pay raise, that’s for sure. Prauf sends his thanks too.”

Cal surprises you again when he comes to collect your empty plate. Rather than comment it on it, you lounge comfortably in the domesticity of it all.

“What’s your plan for the day?”

That was a good question.

Your body had an obvious vote towards rest but responsibilities made a greater bid on your time. A bit of shopping would unfortunately be necessary but your savings would have to survive. Between the recent raise and this upcoming project, you should survive to hit.

Replenish resources it would be then. At least if you start early enough it would allow you to relax for the remainder of the day.

Cal’s gaze follows as you stretch and eventually slink off the couch. Meeka happy to have the entire furniture to herself doesn’t waste a moment to snuggle into your lingering warmth.

“Down to the Bazaar first, then after that we’ll see.”

But first to see how much hot water you were going to be working with. Yawning loudly, you get to work with untangling the mess of your hair. Just before you can round the corner, Cal calls out to you.

“Want to make it a date?”

It’s an innocent play of words. One’s he’s used in the past without acting on it.

‘And you’re not even bumping uglies with him, what a shame.’

And just when you finally stopped overthinking it.

Peeking over your shoulder, you found Cal waiting expectantly yet so unaware of the winds of the storm picking up in your mind. Was it even worth it to wonder if similar thoughts ever troubled him?

-nah, it was just easier to smile.

“Yeah, it’s a date.”

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jedi fallen order writing #im on a roll

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sweetest-honeybee · 4 years

Text

To Hell and Back

Chapter 24

Summary: Wels discovers that the very ruler of HelsCraft is living in his head and things take a turn for the worst.

Characters: Wels, The Lord of Darkness, Doc (impulse, tango, beef, xisuma mentions)

TW: Uhh screaming-ish and brief one sentence mention of broken bones

———————

When Wels woke up, he had control over his body, thankfully. There was a lot of light in the room, however, and it made his head hurt. That, or maybe he ended up hitting his head at some point or got whacked in some way by one of the other Hermits. For good reason, he knew. He wasn’t happy either. In fact, he felt awful for hurting Beef and Tango and probably doing something to Xisuma that made the admin so angrily cautious around him.

He lifted his head slowly and looked around, observing his surroundings. Well, if he was gonna be somewhere random after passing out, he might as well see where he was before the evil voice took him over again. Firstly, he was in an iron chair welded to the floor. Wels was honestly, and weirdly, impressed by that much needed support. Whatever the evil voice was doing while he blacked out, it was strong.

Awe, why let me take the credit, Wels? You did those things, no?

The knight grimaced. Great. He was going to be in here, tied up, with the voice wracking at his head again.

“You’re not me,” he spat. “I don’t try to kill my friends.”

Well now that doesn’t make sense. Were you not the one who bashed your friend’s skull into that door?

“That wasn’t me,” Wels replied coldly. That was until he realized he wasn’t talking to anyone, really. He was merely replying to his own thoughts which just so happened to sound like someone speaking right into his ear. He huffed.

This will be a long day, night, whatever time it was. To distract himself, he looked around the room again. It was small, maybe only 6 or 7 blocks wide, quite tall, and made of obsidian. The block directly under his chair however, was iron. Other than that, not much else than a single iron wall in front of him which he assumed was a piston door. The roof above him were just several blocks of sea lanterns which were harsh on his eyes. He sighed, ducking his head. I’m going to go insane in here if they don’t figure out something soon, I can feel it. He meant no offense to them in his mind, but it certainly wasn’t the best circumstances and it was an accident waiting to happen. He lifted his head again, hoping something new magically appeared or something. The knight already felt uneasy at the thought of being in here alone for such a long time.

Guess that makes more time for us to chat, hm?

“No, it’s not.”

Why’s that?

“Don’t you have better things to do.”

Now, now, Wels, you’re the one chained to a chair.

Wels rolled his eyes. “Because you- whatever you are anyways, keep possessing me. Why me? What did I do to you?”

You’ll find out soon enough. Until then, you’ll be my perfect little soldier.

“No, I won’t.”

Yes, you will succumb to my darkness, little knight.

“Argh! Just shut up! I’m not listening.” He decided now that he wasn’t going to sit and listen to this for hours. Then, he perked up. He could probably block out the thoughts if he spoke loud enough. Or if he sang loud enough. So he did, starting just louder than his thoughts, mostly as a small distraction.

“There once was a ship that put to sea, the name of the ship was the Billy of Tea, the winds blew up, the bow dipped down, o blow my bully boys blow~”

You won’t quiet me that easily. I’m your thoughts, Wels. The very anger and hatred for those pathetic Hermits inside of you.

Wels continued his shanty, just a reply ignoring the voice. “Soon may the Wellerman come, to bring us sugar and tea and rum. One day, when the tonguin’ is done, we'll take our leave and go~!”

Don’t test me, boy. I’ll have you wrapped around my finger.

Wels sang louder, this time focusing as much on the lyrics as he could. “She had not been two weeks from shore, when down on her a right whale bore. The captain called all hands and swore he’d take that whale in tow~!”

But the voice only continued. And so did he, almost practically screaming the lyrics.

“SOON MAY THE WELLERMAN COME, TO BRING US SUGAR AND TEA AND RUM. ONE DAY WHEN THE TONGUIN’ IS DONE, WE’LL TAKE OUR LEAVE AND GO~!”

The knight was startled when the piston door opened. Eyes shooting to the source of the sound.

“Jeez, you’re loud, but nice song though.” The person in question was Doc which Wels gave a breath of relief towards. Though, the creeper looked tired, and if Wels would bet his diamonds on it, he’d guess that Doc was pretty irritable given his annoyed expression to the song anyways. “Why on earth were you singing that loud?”

“There’s an evil voice in my head,” the knight replied bluntly. “I’m trying to get it to shut up.”

Doc hummed, moving to crouch in front of Wels, taking the other’s chin in his robotic hand while the other had a small handheld flashlight. Briefly, he shined the light into his eye which certainly wasn’t comfortable but Doc seemed satisfied with the results. He gingerly took Wels’s hands, examining them. He tapped a finger on Wels’s chin. “Open up.” The knight followed his request and after a second, Doc let him close his mouth. When he stood, the creeper pulled out a clipboard from his inventory.

“How long will I be in here?” Wels decided to ask, hoping his creeper friend was up for some small talk.

“As long as it takes for you to not have to scream sea shanties at four in the morning,” Doc replied without hardly sparing a glance at him. Ah, no wonder he looked so tired and annoyed. He must’ve been woken up when Wels was singing, probably examining him to see if something was out of the ordinary. Well, not unless he was already up.

“Is Beef okay?”

The other nodded. “Yeah, he’s got one hell of a concussion though. Woke up after about fifteen-twenty minutes or so.”

Wels fell silent. At least Beef was fairly okay. Probably very nauseous and has one of the worst possible headaches he’s ever had in his life thanks to Wels, but to some extent, the knight knew that he wouldn’t hold a grudge. A little uncomfortable around him afterwards, but not a grudge. He wasn’t that kind of guy.

Doc doesn’t even care that he’s keeping you trapped here, Wels.

He’s not trapping me, he thought. He’s just protecting his friends.

Protecting them from who, Wels?

The knight must’ve made some kind of noise in reply to the thought. Doc eyed him carefully. “What’s it saying?” the creeper asked. Wels just shook his head.

“Nothing,” he muttered. “At least not anything like earlier.”

“I gotta write down everything. What’s it saying.” He eyed the knight pointedly.

“It’s saying that it’s me, apparently. That you don’t care that you’re trapping me in here. That you’re protecting them from me because I’m a threat to all of you and should just succumb to darkness or whatever.” Wels answered his question almost too casually than he intended but if this was how it was gonna be, he might as well make sure they know everything to ensure the best results.

Doc wrote down everything with another hum, not a very happy hum, it sounded gruff, more like a grunt. The creeper probably wasn’t any happier with that information than Wels was. He stuck the pen to the top of the clipboard. “Well, you are trapped for sure, can’t say much more about that. And you’re a threat, too. I can’t sugarcoat it.” He gave Wels a pat on the shoulder. “But you’re still Welsknight, one of the most strong willed people I’ve ever met. If anyone can beat the very demon inside of them, it’s you.”

Slightly, the corner of Wels’s mouth twitched upwards. “Thanks, Doc. I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Good, good. Impulse is on the next shift. If anything happens, call out his name.”

With that, Doc left, the piston door shutting behind him with a loud bang. Wels already missed being able to get up and move around the moment it shut. Technically, in this room, he was safe to do so but it probably came down to what would happen when the piston door opened that made them chain him to the chair. They didn’t even use ropes, he really noticed. He shuffled his wrists and ankles, the metal grinding against the chair. Really, he could sit and admire their handiwork for hours as a distraction but that would only go so far. He huffed. Yeah, he was gonna go insane.

Just gives me room to take over more often.

“And what’re you gonna do when that happens? Cut off my hands and feet?” Wels absentmindedly replied. Might as well give the voice a sassy chat while he had the time. “I can’t punch through obsidian or iron.”

Who said I felt the pain of your fingers breaking?

Wels gulped. Yeah, the voice could just let go of him at any moment while he was lashing out and he’d feel all of the side effects of what he did while he wasn’t in control. He winced when his side stung at the memory of being shot in the cage.

Tango was the one who shot you, you know. Xisuma was the one who punched you. Beef was going to try to strangle you while you were vulnerable. Doc would’ve gladly stabbed you right there and then.

To a couple of those, Wels actually understood. If he were them, he’d attack himself too. Though, he hardly believed that Beef was going to harm him during that moment earlier and Wels gladly emphasized his doubts with a scoff.

“Do you like….have a name or something? Something we can call you that isn’t ‘The Evil Voice’”? He asked instead.

Fine then, you may call me The Lord of Darkness. And you, my dear knight, are my vessel. Though, I can’t say you’ll be the only one.

Wels stuttered. “You- you’re- wait that thing from HelsCraft?!”

You could say that. I influence your world, but soon enough, with your help, you’ll lose everything.

“No, no, no, no, no-“ He shook his head, yelling for his friend, needing them to know what was happening. “Im- IMPULSE. IMPULSE PLEASE COME IN HERE.”

The Lord of Darkness laughed grimly in his head. The edges of his vision was becoming darker, reminding the knight uncomfortably that The Lord of Darkness could simply use him whenever he liked. And now, if it succeeded in getting Wels out of here, The Lord would make him hurt even more of his friends without him knowing and that’s the last thing they all needed right now. Not to mention how The Lord said he wasn’t the only one.

That in itself only made him panic further.

Goodnight, Wels. Let’s see how poor little Impulse holds up.

“No! IMPULSE PLEASE!” He pulled against his chains.

But the tugging stopped when darkness overcame him and with the sound of the piston doors, a scream rang out in the room.

#my fic #to hell and back #welsknight #thab #long post

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jasontoddiefor · 4 years

Text

Chapter 3 of As Lightning to the Children eased Aka that eldritch Anakin being terrifying AU

Read on AO3

“Do you know what every parent has to do?” Shmi asked Qui-Go over a cup of tea.

“Raise their child to the best of their abilities,” Qui-Gon answered easily.

Shmi hummed and turned to look at Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka meditating in the living room. Obi-Wan was the only one who actually sat like he was meditating while Anakin was draped over his lap and Ahsoka was resting her head on Anakin’s legs. Nevertheless, all of them were meditating, the Force swirling around them.

“I was prepared to leave Anakin here,” Shmi spoke up again.

“What?”

Qui-Gon couldn’t stop himself from exclaiming. Shmi smiled at him and nodded. He couldn’t correlate the idea of Shmi leaving Anakin at the Order’s steps with the image of the woman who just five years ago had forced Mace Windu to his knees with a single question. That Shmi, so headstrong and bright, hadn’t seemed like a woman who would cave in to the Council’s demands. She still wasn’t. She questioned the Council left and right, had made the crèche her chosen starting point for change. It was good for the Order. Qui-Gon was fairly sure that if his Master would just step into the Temple again these days, he’d actually stay, witnessing how much change had been quite literally forced upon them.

“If there was no other way, I would have left Anakin here because he needed to be here more than he needed to be at my side. This is what every parent has to do sooner or later. We need to let go.”

Shmi was looking at him and for all that she was still wondering about why the Force chose her, Qui-Gon knew. She had the same eyes as Anakin, the kind that saw right through you and stripped you bare.

“You need to let go, Qui-Gon,” Shmi repeated directly. “You’ve done everything you can for Obi-Wan. He is ready, more than most of young Knights I’ve seen. Now you need to give him the space to stretch his wings.”

“And fly away with Anakin?” Qui-Gon inserted, his tone bordering on the edge of upset.

Shmi smiled and sat her teacup on the table. “Why do you keep expecting everyone to always leave you?”

Because that was what people did, they left. But he couldn’t say that, probably didn’t even need to, Shmi knew anyway.

Let him go, the Force trilled. He’s not yours to keep.

“I want him to stay.”

Shmi rolled her eyes and with the mischief of a youngling, she actually kicked his legs under the table. “You are of the Force, are you not? Then he will always stay by your side.”

When Qui-Gon finally recommended Obi-Wan for his Trials, Yaddle had the audacity to cackle. The old Master had taken quite a liking to Shmi, it shouldn’t surprise Qui-Gon they had been gossiping. In the Jedi temple, the only thing traveling faster than the Force, was gossip. In fact, all of the Masters seemed to have been expecting it. The only one who hadn’t gotten the message was Obi-Wan who nearly lost his composure.

“A great Knight, you will be,” Yaddle said. “Your Trials you may take, Padawan Kenobi, if you think you are ready.”

Qui-Gon had talked to Obi-Wan about his Trials, of course. He wasn’t as sadistic as his own Master had been and just dropped him in front of the Council without any warning whatsoever. Still, Obi-Wan glanced at Qui-Gon for reassurance.

“I am ready,” Obi-Wan said, his voice not wavering once. Maybe he hadn’t been the one who needed reassurance.

Objectively speaking, Obi-Wan knew the Trials were difficult. They certainly challenged him and he hadn’t been able to sleep the night before because of his nerves, but during his tests, he was laser-focused and having fun. He’d become a Jedi Knight like he had always known he would and he’d be one step closer to where we ought to be.

He did his best not to smile too widely when Qui-Gon cut his braid and said “Rise, Knight Kenobi.”

No blade shall ruin you. Fulfill your calling, go, go, go!

All the pieces were suddenly assembling on the board. Obi-Wan didn’t know what game they were playing yet, but he had his sights set on winning.

“Honorable Council,” Obi-Wan began to speak and Qui-Gon was immediately about two seconds away from dragging Obi-Wan right out of the chamber. He knew that tone and his just knighted Padawan had no business sounding like that yet. “May I make a request?”

It was deceivingly polite; Obi-Wan used that tone when he was informing someone of a decision he had already made and couldn’t be talked out of. Qui-Gon suppressed a sigh. He had hoped his former Padawan would wait another year at least before committing to his bond. Obi-Wan had surpassed all of Qui-Gon’s expectation, already a much more formidable Knight than many were after a decade, but he was young still. He had time, another four years at least he needn’t take on such a heavy task.

“You may speak,” Mace said.

“I want to take Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan,” was what Obi-Wan said, but what Qui-Gon, and every other Master actually heard was “I am taking Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan”.

Master Yoda frowned and Qui-Gon wished he’d be able to determine what he thought. His relationship with Obi-Wan and the Skywalkers was strange to say the least. He claimed the Force was clouded around them, it made him wary, yet, like a clockwork, he showed up for tea at least once a week.

“Certain of this decision, you are?”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes.”

Destiny, fate, my dear Chosen, my children, keep them close, the Force laughed and then, with the might of a karyt dragon, they pressed down on them like they were guarding their treasure, forcing the air out of their lungs.

“Then go fetch your Padawan,” Mace pressed out.

Ilum reminded Anakin of Tatooine in all the best ways. There were not so many people here as on Coruscant, listening to the sounds of the universe was much easier than it was on the crowded city-planet.

Obi-Wan had told him to have fun and enjoy the peace and Anakin was sure there had been a reminder in there as well about not causing any trouble, but he had been too distracted by how easy it was to breathe here. If not for the burning cold, Anakin was sure he could have stayed here for years and years to come. It was so easy to feel, his parent so close. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to pick just one crystal for his lightsaber. Not all of them called out to him, but he’d know how to use them anyway, how to shape them so they would fit perfectly.

“Anakin?”

Anakin turned around and saw T'Seely awkwardly standing behind him. Anakin didn’t have too many friends his age. It wasn’t their fault. He still didn’t always know how to whisper instead of shout, keep all the light inside instead of burning and how to cut off the decay infecting others without his teeth. He was much better with Ahsoka’s age mates who only knew him as Ahsoka’s friend who taught them that they were all infinite possibilities. Their minds weren’t restricted yet. T’Seely was Anakin’s friend though.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t like the dark,” T’Seely said. “Can I- can I go with you? You make it go away.”

Anakin beamed and all around him the crystals lit up, singing their own distinct song. Anakin was sure that if he concentrated, he could bring every Initiate the crystal they needed, but he supposed everyone else was supposed to face this trial on their own. “Sure!”

Anakin held out his hand and T’Seely quickly took it, staring at the caves surrounding them in awe. The artificial lights the Jedi had hung into the tunnels couldn’t even begin to this mirrored night sky surrounding them.

“It’s beautiful,” T’Seely said.

Anakin was glad he could make others see the universe the same way he did.

Training Anakin would be a lot easier if everyone else would finally start minding their own business. Life at the temple was almost back to normal for Obi-Wan again. The other Jedi had become accustomed to them and for all of their snide comments, Jedi were protective of their own. Once you become a part of their community, they wouldn’t abandon you. Obi-Wan was sure that if anything ever happened to him, or Anakin was in danger, their brethren would fight to protect them. They were stronger when they all worked together, were united in the Force.

But that didn’t mean that they could shrug away centuries of teachings about restraining yourself, even when the sun itself was scorching you.

“I still scare them,” Anakin murmured into the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck, tears dried by now.

Anakin always smelled like storms and fire, but this time his scent was tinged with the distinct burn lightsabers left when they cut through hair. Perhaps Obi-Wan hadn’t told Anakin to let loose completely while fighting. Anakin had been the strongest Initiate, but from practice Obi-Wan knew he had been holding back while training even then. His Padawan might be only nine, but Obi-Wan was fairly sure he could give even a couple of the older students a run for their money. They didn’t just drop into the Force entirely unless they were fighting for their lives, unlike Anakin who had troubles staying out of it to actually learn proper stances.

“I know, I know,” Obi-Wan said, trying his best to comfort his Padawan. “I’m sorry. It’ll get better.”

“I’m not scared!” Ahsoka proclaimed and sat up straight, her elbows digging painfully into Anakin’s thighs. The child paid no mind to the abuse she forced upon her older brother. “You’re not scary.”

No, Anakin wasn’t scary, he was terrifying. In all his blazing glory and chaos it was so easy to feel like you were drowning. He was always watching, you were incapable of escaping Anakin’s grasp and Obi-Wan honestly couldn’t claim that he wanted to. There was a sense of belonging pulling him in and for all that he knew Anakin was so small he barely reached Obi-Wan’s hips, an entire galaxy was lingering within in, painfully constricted so it wouldn’t devour everything within reach. Even Obi-Wan got a headache when he attempted to perceive Anakin for too long. The sensorial input was simply too much, leaving him with the vague impressions of stardust and blood dropping from razor sheep teeth, a darkness so void of life that the crown of light around his head was so bright it could cut, claws sharper and so much more dangerous than any ‘saber that Obi-Wan wasn’t even sure if Anakin had needed instructions on how to use his saber.

And the wings of stained glass that never failed to remind Obi-Wan of the meditation hall in the highest tower of the temple.

“Not scary,” Obi-Wan reassured Anakin. “Not to us.”

Ahsoka was a big girl. She was four years old already and the bravest of all her crèche mates. She would not cry when Anakin and Obi-Wan both had to leave the temple for a mission. If anything, Ahsoka should be celebrating. Skyguy was a Padawan now so he would be her Master very soon and then Ahsoka would be a Padawan and they would all go on a big adventure together.

“It’s our first real mission!” Anakin said excitedly.

He kept tugging on his Padawan braid. Ahsoka still thought it was strange that it was attached to him, though Obi-Wan’s had been the same.

“Just some diplomatic meet-up and Master Qui-Gon is coming, but we’re going back to Naboo!”

“What’s Naboo?” Ahsoka asked.

Anakin opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again thoughtfully. He frowned the way he always did when he thought about some very difficult things that didn’t seem all that hard to her. Like always, Ahsoka just held out her hands for Anakin to take. Ahsoka liked speaking, singing, telling stories and making noises, but sometimes it was just easier to let Anakin show her laughter, happiness, home and love and peace.

Oh.

“Are you gonna stay there now?” Ahsoka asked.

“No, not yet.”

Not yet, that only meant he would be leaving her in the future and suddenly all of Ahsoka’s resolve of before was broken and she started bawling.

“Don’t leave me! You can’t- I don’t- you have to stay!”

It wasn’t fair! She didn’t want Anakin to leave her, not even for some stupid mission!

I’m never leaving you, Anakin sang, voice like a thousand choirs. You’re mine.

Promise?

Her brother smiled down at her, gently tracing all her markings before wiping away her tears.

Promise.

Sometimes Shmi felt like she had just arrived at the temple. She still had a hard time calling any of the Jedi above the rank of Knight by their proper titles, nothing to say about her lack of education. Studying with Anakin had been for her own benefit as well, and her son was not lost to her, but Shmi wouldn’t be learning at his side anymore.

“Gone your son is now,” Yaddle said.

Shmi liked the mischievous Jedi. Whereas Yoda often hid his weariness beneath his amusement, Yaddle had no such troubles. She said what she believed and treated Shmi’s thoughts with the same importance she gave the great philosophers preceding even her.

“Ani will be fine,” Shmi said. “He has Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.”

“Yet troubles you sense.”

There were always troubles when Anakin was concerned, but not so much that Shmi had to be concerned. She had raised her son well, he knew he was cherished and loved. It wasn’t a job you could be done with after a while, parenting and children didn’t work that way. For all that the Jedi said a lot about attachments, they were fiercely protective of their lineages.

“A mission I have for us, my Padawan,” Yaddle spoke up again after a while.

Other times, Shmi felt like she had lived at the temple all her life. She knew their customs,

“Master Yoda won’t be pleased,” Shmi said, her smile an exact mirror of her son’s.

Yaddle shook her head. “Pah! Never happy he is. His Padawan we must track down, lost he has become. Old Master Yoda is, and old his Padawan is. A stubborn lot they are and easily rile each other up. Good you are with younglings, good you will be for the whole Order. Help me cause some more chaos, my Padawan.”

Shmi began to walk beside her new teacher, retuning back into the temple and walking away from the ship hangers. When she had arrived at the temple, she’d never expected that her life would turn out like this.

“Yes, Dai Yaddle.”

Her teacher looked up to her, a proud look on her face. “A fine Jedi you already are, Shmi Skywalker. A great one you will be.”

#star wars #Anakin Skywalker #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #shmi skywalker #ahsoka tano #yaddle #fanfic #everyone gets an upgrade in this chapter #qui gon finally graduates from parenting

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sweetlittlegingy · 4 years

Text

Just Chris

One-shot

|Dad!Chris Evans x pregnant reader|Dad!Chris Evans x Evans kids|

Summary:

You and Chris had been married for 4 years now, prior to that you had dated for 2. You had met on a vacation to Disneyworld, your little boy had disappeared from your sight and caused you to have a near mental breakdown. In the moment you didn't know it but he would become your whole world. Gaining not only his affection but also his unwavering commitment and love for the both of you. 6 years in and you couldn't be happier. With 3 wonderful kids and another on the way you had everything a girl could ask for. Together you made the choice to not make your relationship public, for the kids sake, your own and Chris as well. He had always wanted to have a family, a safe place where he could be known just as a husband and father. He made sure that you never felt lonely and tried to be there for every milestone.

Word count: 3,900

6 years ago: Orlando Florida

It was a big step, I knew that. Deciding to come to Disneyworld with just James and I. But he who shall not be named doesn't care about us anymore and James deserves some small amount of happiness in this dark time. Taking a deep breath I grabbed our park tickets, thanking the park member and head towards the entrance.

"Momma are we gonna see Mickey and his puppy." I hear James ask as he tugs me forward.

"Yes! Are you super excited? We can go on any ride you want bubba." We moved through the entrance line fairly quickly heading straight for fantasy land.

4 hours later

I haven't seen him smile this big in forever. He might be little but he knows something is going on and a big change has happened in our lives. I can't wait to share the pictures with my parents that I got of James and Mickey and Minnie.

"James, buddy what do you wanna do now? More rides or are you hungry?" I ask as we walk towards Cinderella's castle.

"Momma can we go get a Mickey balloon pretty please? You said we could later and it's later." He replies like the sassy little stinker he is. It's kinda terrifying how much he is like me. He is definitely gonna be my karma for all the headaches a gave my parents.

"I guess I did say that. Come on let's go, I think there was someone selling them in front of Main Street." Together we walk hand in hand finding the cart easily. "Ok bubba what color do you want?" I ask patiently waiting for him to look over every color and choose.

"Can I have the blue one please momma?" He asks after barely looking them over. I should have known, blue is our favourite color currently. Turning back to the man selling them I ask for a blue balloon and get cash out of my wallet to pay for it.

"Here you go ma'am, have a good day now." He tells me. Wishing him a good day as well I turn around ready to see the biggest smile on my munchkins face and he's gone. I look around quickly but there's so many people and I can't see him. Spinning around to see if he's with the balloon man, but he's not. I can feel my heart speeding up, I feel like I can't breathe.

"James baby!" I call frantically. I feel tears welling up in my eyes. My baby's gone, I just had him here with me. How could he disappear that fast, what if someone took him. I feel a panic attack coming on, my world feels like it's caving in on me. Then I hear it. His little voice shouting about superheroes and Toy Story. Rushing forward I break through a group of people and see him in a man's arms.

"Momma!! You got my balloon" he yells launching himself into my arms. Catching him I hold on to him for dear life hold back the tears because I have him back in my arms.

"James you can't do that ok. Never walk away from mommy, I thought I lost you baby." I tell him while stroking his head.

"I made a friend though momma, he likes superheroes too!" He tells me not understanding that I almost just had a mental breakdown.

Looking up I see my saviour staring back at me sheepishly, unsure of how to approach me. I probably look like an absolute mess right now, but completely overwhelmed I can't stop myself from hugging him. Holding James with one arm, I wrap my other around the man and rest against his chest. He must have been completely blown away because he doesn't react at all. Then all of the sudden he wraps his arms around the both of us and in that moment I couldn't handle life anymore. I completely break down in tears, while he just holds me tighter and whispers that it's ok now to me. Through everything that happened recently I've had no one. I was alone in this divorce, sure I hand my parents but they weren't there to hold me and make me feel safe. To tell me that every choice I had made was ok, that I wasn't wrong in wanting a better life for James and myself. But this angel of a man, that knows nothing about me at all. He knew somehow exactly what I needed. Pulling back after I've stopped the tears I can't help but to feel so embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what even came over me. I just… thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't have him." I quickly speak trying not to look like a complete idiot but I can feel my cheeks heating up.

"Don't worry it's no problem at all. We were having a great time weren't we buddy." He replies winking at James.

"Yeah momma. Me and Chris were talking about heroes and Woody to! I told him you were getting me a balloon ." James replies like it's the most obvious thing on the planet. It's at that moment you realise I never told him my name.

"I'm y/n by the way. Though with his guy it seems my only name is mommy. Which I definitely can't complain about." I say in laugh while tickling James.

"Oh right yeah. I'm Chris, but he already told you that." He chuckles reaching to shake your hand. God he has an amazing smile. I can't remember the last time I had this many butterflies in my stomach just from someone smiling at me.

"You wouldn't wanna maybe come get a Mickey ice cream bar with us? That was our plan before everything happened." I ask hopefully but then realise he might be here with family and I don't want to interrupt. "Unless of course you're busy. In that case just thank you."

Chris laughs a little. "Well I am here with family.." before he can even finish, another guy interrupts him.

"Hi I'm Scott, Chris brother. He's got no plans, we were all just gonna head back to the hotel and rest for a bit. Chris would love to come with you." He smiles sweetly at me, then turns to Chris giving him the eyes that can only describe as don't fuck this up eyes.

"Yeah I would love that. Plus me and this little guy have lots to talk about. Especially the fact that he thinks Spiderman is the best superhero! I mean buddy what about Captain America?" Chris beams at James playfully. It's in that moment though I realise who exactly I've been talking to. But none of that matters because as far as I'm concerned he's just Chris. I don't want him to be anyone else because so far he's been absolutely perfect.

Present: Concord Massachusetts

I think I've made it through the worst. I woke up feeling amazing with no nausea. It's a winning kinda day, it's been too long that I haven't had a day that I feel like dying and I'm just over 30 weeks. Thankfully Lisa took James and the girls today so I could have some time to rest. But like always I can't seem to relax so here I am cleaning. Bending down to pick up one of the girls barbies and her dream car I hear a low whistle come from behind me.

"Now if that isn't the perfect view to come home to, I don't know what is." Spinning around I see him, my Chris.

"It's that view that got us in this situation in the first place Christopher." I say gesturing to my belly.

"The best situation baby. Now come here so I can kiss my favourite girl and tell my little princess hello." He tells me pulling me in for the sweetest kiss. I missed this so much, the feel of his lips on mine. Being able to feel his unconditional love from one kiss. As soon as he pulls away he gives me a quick peck on the nose making me giggle. Then he's down on his knees pulling my top up so he can see my belly. "And how are you doing my sweet angel? Have you been good for momma?" He asks my belly then presses his ear against me, because apparently they can talk to each other through the womb. Running my fingers through his hair I feel like I can officially relax now. He's been on the go so much after promoting Kives Out. Then going to award shows left and right, but now he's home for the rest of the pregnancy.

"She's missed you baby. So has James, Eleanor and Adeline."

"Oh really, only the kids have missed me? You sure you haven't missed me even a little bit?" He says while standing up to look me in the eyes. "I hope you missed me baby, cuz I know I missed you too damn much. It was hell not having you in my arms everyday. Especially with you being pregnant. It killed me knowing I wasn't here to take care of you."

"I missed you more than anything. You should know that though from the amount of times I called you crying in the middle of the night." I whisper into his neck. I feel horrible that I called so many times and made him feel bad. But we made a promise that we would always share every single emotion we were feeling with each other. "I love you Christopher so much. I feel whole again with you back."

"I love you more baby. I'm home now ok and will be for as long as you need me. There's no way in hell that someone could pull me away from you and the kids now. Especially since little miss Everly will be showing up soon enough." He tells me while rubbing my belly. I look up at the clock on the wall and see that it's almost 2. Lisa was gonna bring the kids back around 3.

"The kids should be home in an hour or so. Your mother, bless her heart for taking the kids this morning. She is truly a God sent." I pull away from him putting the barbie and her dream car in the girls toy box.

"You know she loves you and the kids so much. I think she might love you more than she loves me." He chuckles. "How are they doing anyway? Anything new that I need to be made aware of?"

"Why do you say it like that?" I ask with a hint of disbelief in my tone.

"Because you my darling are always up to something? Are the girls still taking ballet or have we changed our minds to something else? What about James, baseball should be starting soon."

"Excuse you but I have been on my best behaviour thank you very much. Ell is loving ballet. Addie is still not sure. But then again her attention span is horrible, I'm gonna keep her in it though. They are both doing wonderfully when they want to, I'm sure you will get to have your own private show. Yes baseball starts next month, I've already got him signed up. He's gonna be so happy that you're gonna be home to practice with him." I pause then for a minute because I hate to bring it up when he's just home. "Babe. James asked again last night."

"What's he asking you about this time, that you can't handle." Chris asks, with an amusing smile on his face. He quickly understands though when I glare at him. "I'm sorry babe, all jokes aside. How'd he bring it up this time?"

"Apparently he saw Robert and Susan promoting Dolittle. I guess they were talking about finally doing a film that all the kids could go to. I don't even know how to go about it anymore, he completely broke my heart hunny. He asked if you were ashamed of us baby. I of course told him no, that you love them more than anything. It's just getting really difficult now. I mean we are gonna be a pretty big family soon, it's getting harder to hide."

"I know. God I know, I've been thinking about it alot. I just love how with you guys I'm just Chris or daddy. Are you even ready for that baby? I don't even know if I'm ready, I love having you all to myself." He states while rubbing the back of his neck. "How would we even reveal that to the world? I don't want any backlash coming on you and the kids. Fucking hell." Walking over I wrap my arms around him. I can see how much this stresses him out and we just need to get it out of the way, face it head on.

"Hey look at me." I state lifting his face so he looks me in the eyes. "We will be fine as long as we stick together. I don't care about anything the press might say. So long as you and our babies are safe and happy. Nothings gonna scare me off babe, you're stuck with me forever."

"Ok I guess we're doing this. How do we wanna go about it? We could go live on Twitter or just make a video and share it on my page. I think making a video would be best though so we can make sure that we have it perfect." He states calmly.

"I think that's an absolutely perfect way to introduce our family to the world baby. I think we should do something silly though and not make it so much like 'Hey look I have a family' just an easy going playful video with a witty caption 'Quick catch up on the last 6 years' don't you think?"

Hearing a knock one the door, then the door opening. You hear little feet running down the hall giggling. "Momma we're home!" Both girls yell out to you.

"Come here guys, I'm in the kitchen. I've got a surprise for you." You call back while quickly pushing Chris into the pantry. Just as the door closes you see the girls rounding the corner. Heading straight to hug your legs, with Lisa and James coming behind them. "Hello my babies. How are you both doing?" You say kisses each of the girls on the head. Looking up after they tell you that they're great you smile, having a hard time not telling them then that daddy's home. "How are you doing buddy, did you have a good time with grandma?" You ask James.

"Yeah. Grandma and grandpa were great." He says softly while Lisa wraps her arms around him giving him a soft hug and kiss on the top of his head.

"James, sweetheart what's wrong?" You question trying to figure out what could have happened in the short time he was gone.

You see him turn more into Lisa. "He's just missing dad today, Scott was helping him practice throwing today." She tells you with a sad smile.

"Well it's a good thing I came home early then. Can't be missing baseball practice with my best bud." At the sound of Chris's voice James head pops up, letting go of Lisa he runs for Chris. Soon after the girls follow squealing, running right for his legs.

"Surprise!" You say with a laugh looking at Lisa then the kids and Chris. He's got the girls in one arm, both of them kissing his cheeks. James is tucked in his chest holding onto him tightly. You knew he missed Chris, being the only guy in the house was tough. They were inseparable from the beginning of your relationship and everytime Chris left it got a little harder for the pair. You saw him whispering something in each of their ears. Both girls giggling and James burying himself farther into Chris chest. Setting the girls down Chris wrapped both arms around James.

Knowing they needed this time together, you walked over to the girls. "Why don't we take grandma to the living room and show her your new barbie dolls we got yesterday?" You asked the girls who happily ran for Lisa, grabbing her hands and skipping to the living room. Looking back over your shoulder you wink at Chris as you see him mouth 'Thank you' to you. With a smile you mouth back 'I love you' and head in to be with Lisa and the girls.

Sometime later the boys come into the living room, both smiling. Lisa had left 10 minutes before saying she wanted you to have family time and that she would see Chris tomorrow to give him a proper hello.

"So what's everyone thinking for dinner? I was thinking instead of having momma cook, we order pizza. Hmm… how's that sound?" Chris says.

"Yes!" All three of the kids cheer. We don't get pizza too often, so I knew it was gonna be a unanimous decision. Deciding on a Meat Lovers and a Cheese pizza I get the phone to call it in. Hanging up the phone I go and tell everyone it should be here in about 45 minutes. Settling back on the couch to cuddle with Chris while the kids play with Dodger, I breathe a sigh of relief rubbing my bump. At this little miss Everly starts moving around. Stretching her little body out. Grabbing Chris's hands I place them on my tummy so he can feel her.

"She's sure is active tonight. I'm so ready to meet her and to be a family of 6." He whispers softly into my ear before kissing my temple. Our relaxing cuddle is soon interrupted though. When the girls come bouncing on their toes over to us.

"Can we have a dance party before dinner? Pretty please?" They ask with the sweetest smiles. They already know that it's gonna be a yes. After giving that face to their daddy, he's so wrapped around their fingers.

"Of course we can. Why don't you take mommy upstairs to get your tutus on. While you get ready, me and bubba will set up the speakers." Chris tells the girls. With smiles they start up the stairs giggling while I follow after them making sure nobody falls. Picking out which tutu each of them was gonna wear was easy. Pink and purple with sparkles for Ell and rainbow for Addie. But they couldn't just have their tutus we had to get in their leotards too. As well as princess crowns had to be added, finally we were ready to go back downstairs. Chris of course didn't miss the fact that I have a crown on. If the girls could get my tummy in a tutu, I would be in one all the time. I'm just happy that they didn't make me try and put it in this time. They must have learned after I got stuck last time when I was just 25 weeks and momma's belly almost broke the tutu.

"Don't you two just look beautiful." He says to them. "Don't think I forgot you. I love the crown babe." He says before giving me a quick peck on the lips. He walks away to press play on the speakers and all of the sudden I hear Under the Sea from the Little Mermaid coming through the speakers. Both girls happily jump and squeal at their father's choice. Excited because it's their favourite movie at the moment, completely oblivious to the fact that it's also their dads. Laughing at their wild moves I see them grab James making him dance as well.

"Momma come on dance. Everly loves this song!" Ell tells me point blank

"How would you know that Ell? Everly isn't even here yet to know what music she loves." I tell her.

"Because we are her sissies and she loves anything we love." Addie then says coming to her twins aid. Standing up I grab both girls hands twirling them while they hold my fingers. Looking up at Chris I see him laughing holding up his phone.

"Looking good momma!" He tells me with a laugh.

"Daddy look at us spin!" Addie says before they both grab hands spinning in circles. James comes to stand by me cuddling up to my side as we sway back and forth. With the song change I start laughing as Truth Hurts by Lizzo comes on. Only Chris would have those two songs on the same playlist. The girls don't mind the change and pull James to dance more with them. Walking over to Chris singing the song, doing a little dance. I gotta say mommas got moves still. Laughing at myself Chris calls at me to smile, facing the camera at me. Smiling sweetly at the most amazing man in the world, how did I get so lucky.

"Now let me see Everly babe!" He tells me while doing a spinning motion with his finger. Stepping back I give him a side view of my bump laughing at how cute he's being. He quickly pulls me to him. Flipping the camera to the front he gives me the biggest kiss, making my toes curl. "I love you Mrs. Evans." He says resting his forehead on mine.

"I love you so much more Christopher."

Later that night

After finally getting done with dinner. I was able to get the girls in the bath and in jammies without much hassle. James was already in bed so I gave him a kiss goodnight as Chris read to the girls. Heading to our room I see Dodger already up on the bed with his lion.

"Hi bubba. I know you didn't like all the dancing tonight. Have you been up here sleeping the whole time? Such a good boy. Just let mom get changed and then we can cuddle. Sound good." I ask Dodg as I head to the bathroom. After washing my face and brushing my teeth I head out to get changed.

"Hey baby I'm just gonna get ready then I'll be in bed." Chris says as he kisses me on the cheek. Nodding my head I crawl in bed getting tucked under the covers. Not long later Chris comes back in getting under the covers with me. Pulling me to his chest I relax into him as we caress my bump.

"How did the girls like the story?" I ask

"Oh they loved it, even added their own little bits to it." He tells me softly kissing my head. "You know the video I took of you all dancing?" He questions. Nodding in a response already drifting off. "I posted it baby." He says hesitantly.

"Ok. Nothing will ever change how I feel about you Christopher. I love you and our family more than anything in the world." I tell him softly.

"How did I get so lucky? I love you baby." He says as he wraps me up tightly both of us falling asleep. The last thought I have before falling into the darkness is how I couldn't have asked for a better man to live this wonderful crazy experience we call life with.

Taglist: @icanfeelastormbrewing

A/N: I've never wrote for Chris. Let alone I have written in like a year and a half. I dont even know what my opinion on it is yet, so let me know what you think of it! Also if you have any requests inbox me or ask. Why not have some fun with this. Much love xx

#chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagine #chris evans #chris evans one shot #dad!chris #dad!chris evans #domesticChris #chris evans smut #chris evans oneshot #daddy chris evans #dad chris evans #one shot Chris Evans #Chris Evans #chris evans fluff #chris evans fandom #chris evans fic #Chris Evans dad #chris evans drabble

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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 4 years

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Love Undercover - Ch 2

Title: Love Undercover

Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas

Pairing: Greg Sanders x Nick Stokes

Rating: Mature

Summary: In part one of this series, Nick and Greg get sent on a special undercover mission by Grissom and Brass, an undercover mission as a couple at an all exclusive couples resort. Their mission is to find their targets and keep them safe while maintaining the illusion that they are a happily married couple, but they may end up finding more then they bargained for while at Lovers Lane Resort.

AO3

Masterlist

*** My works are not to be posted on any sites without my permission! Please and thanks!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter two

They pulled into the resort shortly after six that night. Nick parked the car in the fairly empty lot and turned to Greg. "You wanna check us in? I'll grab the bags and meet you inside."

"Sure thing," Greg nodded, then took a breath, "you, uh, you ready for this?"

"Yeah, man, we got this."

Greg just nodded again as Nick pat his shoulder with a smile and said, "I'll meet you inside, hubby," and got out of the car to grab the bags.

Greg took another few seconds inside the car to calm his shaking limbs, then grabbed the file folder Grissom had given them before they left. Inside, he pulled out his new drivers license that now read 'Greg Stokes' and the receipt proving payment for the resort.

When he walked inside the small log cabin that was being used as their reception area, he was greeted by an older lady with a friendly smile. "Welcome to Lovers Lane Resort, are you checking in?"

"Yes," he smiled back at her and stepped up to the desk, "we are."

"Do you have your receipt and some photo ID? I'll need your partner's ID as well."

He handed her both items and gestured towards the door, "He's just grabbing the bags, should be in soon."

"That's not a problem, love, I'll start the process while we wait for him."

And as if on cue Nick walked inside carrying all of their bags and stepped up beside Greg. He placed the bags on the floor by his feet and smiled at the lady behind the desk, "Hi there, Ma'am."

"Hello, and welcome!" She turned from the computer for a moment to return Nick's smile, "I have your partner's ID, but may I borrow yours for a moment?"

He popped his licence out of his wallet and handed it to her, and she placed it on her desk beside Greg's, "How long have you two been married?"

Greg found himself still a bit unstable and unable to answer, but Nick swooped in smoothly and calmly, surprising Greg as he placed a hand on his waist and said, "One wonderful year! It's our anniversary this weekend."

"Oh, congratulations!" She clapped her hands together, "You two make a lovely couple! And I'm sure you'll both have a wonderful time here for your anniversary. We have lots of great activities planned, you'll love it."

"We've been looking forward to it for months now, can't wait to see what you've got in store."

Greg turned his attention to Nick, in awe of how easily he slipped into this role when he felt like he was going to explode any second. But as much as he was loving this already, the closeness of Nick, his arm around him, hand on his waist, he had to take a second to remind himself not to get too caught up. This was not reality and could never be.

"Alright then," the lady said, snapping him out of his thoughts, "here's your ID back, and Tyler over there will show you two lovely gentlemen to your cabin. It's your home here for the next three weeks, so make yourselves comfortable. Dinner will be served to you tonight in your cabin, and breakfast every morning, but starting tomorrow, lunch and dinner will be served in our great Hall for all couples. An itinerary has been left in your room, so feel free to attend any of the activities that are scheduled, other than that you are free to use what the facility has to offer at any time. And should you need anything else just pick up the bedside phone and it will dial directly to the front desk. Enjoy your first night gentlemen."

"Thanks a lot," was all Greg could manage at the moment as they turned from the desk.

Nick bent down to grab the bags but Tyler stepped in and took them instead telling them to follow him to their cabin. As he walked out the door Greg made to follow him but stopped when Nick gave his arm a pat. He turned back to look at him and Nick just held a hand out towards him. He stared at it for a moment in question before he realized Nick wanted him to hold his hand.

He took it and Nick pulled him close to his side as they followed Tyler towards the cabins. It was great, being pulled into Nick's side and holding hands as they walked in the night, but again Greg was hit in the gut by the heart wrenching reminder that this was all fake. Just a show for the lady at the desk and now Tyler. Once the door closed behind them, it would go back to normal.

They walked for about five minutes before Tyler walked up the porch steps of one of the cabins and opened the door, "And this is your new home for the next three weeks."

They walked inside and both were actually stunned at how nice it was inside. There was a sitting area with a coffee table, couch, and recliner. A small kitchen area at the back, though if they were being fed they were both sure they wouldn't use it much. To the right of the sitting area was the bedroom, and from what they could see from the front door, it had a pretty sizable bed. There was also a fireplace, a welcome basket with wine and cheese on the coffee table, and the whole place gave off a very homey feel that warmed both boys.

"Here's your key," Tyler turned and handed the key to Nick, "there's water and a few other drinks in the fridge, some snacks as well, and ice in the freezer. Bathroom is through the bedroom. Feel free to use the fireplace whenever you like, and if you need anything else, just pick up the phone."

"Thanks man," Nick said as he let go of Greg's hand and walked Tyler to the door.

With the comforting warmth of Nick's hand in his gone, Greg slowly wandered towards the bedroom and stopped dead in the doorway. He knew this was coming, but now that it was right in front of him, he didn't quite know how to handle it.

"How do you wanna handle this?" He asked as Nick came to stand beside him.

"I'm okay with sharing." Greg turned a quick glance to him. "Unless you don't feel comfortable with that. I can take the couch."

"No! No, it's fine," he said, maybe a little too quickly, "we can share the bed. It's fine."

"Alright then," Nick smiled then walked past him with a few bags and grabbed some clothes, "I'm gunna take a shower and get comfortable before they bring us food. I think the tv in the living room has Netflix, if you wanna pick a movie to watch together?"

"Sure, I can do that."

"Okay, I'll be ten minutes."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Greg sat on the oversized, though very comfortable couch, and spent the entire time Nick was in the shower searching through Netflix. He wasn't sure what to watch, or what Nick would want to watch. Car chase? Some kind of action? Horror? Thriller? He was getting a headache.

He turned when the bedroom door opened and Nick walked out, and he had to actually force his mouth closed to stop himself from drooling. Nick walked out in nothing but loose pj pants hanging dangerously low on his hips, no shirt, hair still wet and messy from the shower, water droplets slowly trailing over his toned chest-

"Greg!" Nick waved in front of his dazed eyes and he shook his head.

"Sorry, what?"

Nick chuckled, "Like what you see?"

"I…" Nick was clearly pleased with how fast Greg had gone beat red at the statement as he continued to stutter, "I… no… I just…"

Nick couldn't help but laugh and think it was cute as Greg quickly turned around in his seat and brought his attention back to the tv, lifting the remote. "I can't find anything to watch. And I just wasn't expecting you to come out of the shower half naked, that's all."

He laughed again and moved to sit next to Greg, leaving some space between them. "I said I was getting comfortable. You should change too."

"I… fine, I'll be back in a second. Find something to watch."

And Greg left for the bedroom.

Nick took up the remote and started flipping through. He wasn't sure what Greg would like, but maybe something sweet? A romantic movie maybe? He still wasn't sure if Greg had any feelings for him, but the way he looked at him when he came out of the shower was certainly a confidence booster. And maybe, just maybe, there might be a smidge of something there? Maybe this resort could be just what Nick needed to get some sort of answers about Greg. About whether or not they could have a chance.

Greg came back then in the same attire as Nick. Low hanging pj pants and no shirt. Nick turned and he too admired Greg, who certainly didn't miss taking his chance to get in a little teasing of his own.

As soon as Greg walked out of the bedroom and saw the way Nick was ogling him over the couch, he shook his head with a smirk and decided what the hell, he might as well take advantage of this while he could, while they had the three weeks together. Even if it was pretend, the way Nick was staring at him definitely wasn't.

So in a moment of bravery he asked smugly, "Like what you see?" And turned slightly to show his toned back.

It took all of Nick's effort not to jump him right then and there, but instead plastered on a smirk and answered back in a husky voice, "I most certainly do, cowboy."

And when he wiggled his eyebrows that was all it took to get Greg turning red again and shyly returning to his spot beside Nick.

"Did you pick a movie yet? I didn't know if you'd wanna watch action, or horror, or thriller."

"What about a romance?"

Greg raised his brows and turned to face Nick, "Didn't think you were into romantic movies."

"Oh, Greg," he smirked and pushed play on a movie, "I love a good romance, I'm quite a romantic myself actually, and maybe I'll show you just how much while we're on this retreat."

"Right," Greg nodded, and Nick noticed how his smile suddenly fell as he turned back to the tv, "gotta make it look good."

Nick frowned. That wasn't what he meant, and why had playful Greg suddenly turned back into all business Greg. Nick was sure that getting answers about him and Greg would be hard, but if he was going to keep randomly closing himself off like that, it was going to be harder than he thought. But he was still going to try.

A knock on the door came shortly after they started the movie, and Nick got up to answer it. Tyler handed him a covered tray and left quickly. Nick walked back inside and placed the tray on the table between them, revealing homemade pizza, and they ate and watched the movie quietly.

About halfway through the movie, pizza devoured, Nick risked a glance over at Greg and chuckled. He was falling asleep, head nodding and falling to the side as his body tried to get comfortable. After watching for a moment Nick took pity and shifted closer, pulling the almost sleeping Greg to lay his head on his shoulder.

Greg startled awake at the feeling of falling over, pushing away from Nick, eyes still pretty much closed. "You're alright," he hushed, pulling him back down, "go back to sleep, we had a long drive today." Greg nodded slowly and let Nick guide him to lay on his shoulder with an arm wrapped around him, and Nick went back to watching the movie.

Greg slept through the rest of the movie, curled up against Nick's side. And though Nick really didn't want to move, he turned off the tv and stood lifting Greg into his arms. He carried him bridal towards the bedroom, smiling when Greg wrapped his arms around his neck in his sleep. He placed him softly on the bed, pulled the blankets over him, and slid in on the other side.

He rolled to his side and watched Greg for a few minutes, so peaceful in his sleep, the sight of perfection. He wanted to touch, to reach out and pull him in, but whether or not there were feelings on Greg's side, he was obviously very nervous about their closeness. So as much as he wanted to, he also didn't want to scare Greg. So for now, he'd have to just settle for looking until he fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~

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Tags: @panchostokes @greggonpancho

#csi #CSI Las Vegas #greg sanders #nick stokes #nick/greg #nick x greg #nick stokes x greg sanders #greg sanders x nick stokes #smut #fluff #lotta fluff #pining #mutual pining #dumb bois #love undercover #chapter two #love undercover chapter two

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hamitome--imagines · 5 years

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You, Me, and a Baby Makes Three

Thayne Jasperson x Reader

Modern rpf

Requested by @arosebloomsonbakerstreet

1-53: Guess who’s going to be a father?

Request: I have to make a request for a thayne x reader fic for the 'guess who's going to be a father?' prompt. Mostly since the thought of him finding out as a special announcement after a Hamilton performance sends my little fangirl heart into all states of squee! Bonus points if 'That Would Be Enough' is used in the announcement in some way. :D

A/N: So…I’m guessing this isn’t at all what was expected from this request. To be honest, this isn’t my initial plan for a plot. But I think this plot is fairly good. It fits with the request but in a different way. But since it goes in a unique direction, I hope this is still what you wanted from this request, even though it does stray from the request slightly. And I hope you all enjoy this imagine!

Word Count: 6,779

If someone had asked you at the start of all this, you wouldn’t say you loved Thayne. Sure, he was nice and you liked him. You found him attractive and nice and funny. But you didn’t love him. There just wasn’t that kind of connection. But sometimes alcohol makes you think that there is a connection.

The whole cast of Hamilton was going out for drinks. It was a typical night out, jokes and memories made. And alcohol was consumed. As the night came to an end, your friends were varying levels of sobriety. You were a little tipsy and had drove over to the bar anyway. You needed to call a cab. “Hey, Thayne?” The cast member in question turned to look at you. “You wanna split the cost of an Uber?” The two of you lived fairly close to each other and this method had been used before.

“Yeah, sure.” He agreed with a bright smile. The two of you were driven to your apartment, where you exited. Thayne would often walk to his house from your house.

“You sure you wanna walk home? You can crash here.” You offered. Thayne pondered it. He checked the time on his phone.

“It is kinda late. I’ll crash on your couch if you don’t mind.” He said.

“Sure, come on in.” So you opened the door a let Thayne in. Still a little tipsy, you rummaged for blankets and pillows. You found some and walked them over to the couch. Thayne was already sprawled out on the couch, laid on his back with one arm draped over his face. “Asleep already?” You asked.

“Nah.” He replied, but didn’t move. You sat on the coffee table near the couch, pile of bedding sat on the table next to you. You reached out and ran your fingers through his hair. It was golden and soft under your fingers. Thayne hummed softly, enjoying the feeling on your fingers and a smiled pulled at his lips. “If you keep doing that, I will fall asleep.” He commented. So you withdrew you hand.

“Let’s at least get you a pillow and a blanket before you fall asleep.” You said. He groaned but sat up and turned so he was facing you, you idly noted the lack of space between you two now. He rubbed his eyes that raked a hand through his hair haphazardly. The result was his hair being tousled and sticking up in crazy ways. You laughed at the sight. “What?” He asked with a smile of his own.

“Nothing.” You answered with a smile. “But let me fix your hair.” So you reached up once more and gently smoothed the stray hairs back down. You continued running your fingers through his hair after you finished. How had you never noticed how soft it was? A heavy silence settled. Part of your told you to give him the bedding and retreat to your room. But the tipsy part of you, felt a connection. (Later your rational brain would realize there wasn’t one.) Thayne was merely staring at you, studying you with. The expression he wore was one you had never received from him before. Want? Desire? You couldn’t place it. But it was a good expression.

You slowly leaned in, and Thayne seemed to automatically move in to do the same. You cautiously pressed your lips to his. Thayne leaned in closer. You still had a hand threaded in his hair and you used it to pull him even closer. You pulled back way too quick for your liking. “You know, it seems like such a hassle to get out blankets and pillows when my bed is large enough for both of us.” You commented, you hands were toying with the edges of a jacket Thayne had one. He smiled.

“By all means, lead the way.” He said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes but stood and grabbed his hand. You lead him to your room and right to the bed. It wasn’t long before your found yourself laid on your back with Thayne hovering over you. “You sure?” He asked. You grinned and nodded.

—

You were not drunk enough last night to warrant the headache you had today. You were also cold. To try and warm up, your curled up a bit more. Then you realized exactly why you were cold. You didn’t have any clothes on. Great. A one-night-stand. You silently prayed that whoever it was had left once you finished. But you couldn’t remember bringing any stranger back to your place. You shifted, pulling lightly on the covers. The resisted, meaning that someone was still here. You had your back to them. So you took a deep breath and mentally prepared yourself to see who you slept with and to ask them to leave. You sat up and turned and your brain seemed to stop working.

Thayne was laying there. He was fast sleep. The covers were draped across his stomach and his torso was bare. He obviously wasn’t wearing a shirt and you could guess what it was like under the covers as well. His hair was sticking up wildly, whether from sleep or wild sex, you weren’t sure. But you had to resist the urge to reach out and fix it. The softness of his hair was the first memory of last night to resurface. It was quickly followed by the kissing. Which lead to everything else.

You had sex with Thayne Jasperson. “Holy shit.” You said. And accidentally said it loud enough to wake up the aforementioned person. Thayne grumbled and shifted, clearly waking up. You hurried to grab the blankets and pull them up to cover your chest. Thayne opened his eyes and looked to you. His confusion was obvious. He stared at you for a minute before his eyes widened and he sat up quickly.

“Shit.” He said, being cautious about keeping the blankets firmly covering his lap. “We had sex last night.”

“Yep.” You said, equally awkwardly. Neither of you knew exactly what to say next. “Look, can you like, close your eyes for a minute? I’m going to grab clothes and go get dressed in the bathroom. While I do that, you can find your clothes from last night.”

“I mean, do I really have to close my eyes? After last night?” He asked.

“Well no, but don’t make this more awkward than it needs to be.” You pleaded.

“Fair enough, I probably would’ve closed my eyes anyway.” He said. He closed his eyes and covered them with his hands for good measures. You quickly grabbed some under garments and a tee shirt and sweatpants. You slipped out of the room and went to close the door. You paused when it was open just a sliver. “Ok, I’m out. You can get dressed.” Then shut the door.

As you got dressed you thought the night over. Why did you kiss him? You liked Thayne, but not romantically and not sexually either. At least you didn’t think so. But apparently part of you wanted him in a romantic or sexual way. He was a good friend. And you wanted him to remain that way. But that seemed unlikely now. You exited the bathroom and walked over to your bedroom door and knocked lightly. “Yeah, I’m dressed. Come on in.” He was sitting on the bed, fully clothed except for his socks which he was pulling on. “So…what now?” He asked. WIth his socks fully pulled on, he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it to the right.

“What do you wanna do?” You asked. You wanted to forget this ever happened, but you didn’t want to offend Thayne either. You didn’t even know how he felt about this.

“Honestly? It wasn’t bad.” He commented with a smirk. It earned a tiny smile and amused eye roll from you. “But it isn’t worth fucking up our friendship. That is way more valuable to me.” He said with a small, sincere smile. You sighed in relief.

“I feel the same way. So…can we both pretend this never happened?”

“I can if you can.” He answered.

“Good. Then we tell no one and go about our lives like it never happened. What happened last night stays between the two of us.”

“Deal.” He said.

—

You and Thayne easily forgot about the whole situation. You fell back into routine and your friends were none the wiser. It was great. Until it wasn’t.

You tried to tell yourself not to freak out when your period was late. It wasn’t always on time, sometimes it was a day or two late. It happened. Then it was a week late. Now it was two weeks late. And you were so fucking worried. You left rehearsal rather quickly and went to a drug store to buy a test. Hell, you bought two just so you could be sure. After an agonizing two minute wait, the first test confirmed you were pregnant. That couldn’t be right. So you tried the other test. And after waiting another eternal two minutes, you had the same results.

You leaned back against the wall in the bathroom. Then you slid down until you were sitting on the floor. You were pregnant. And Thayne was the father. So much for forgetting it ever happened. The idea of an abortion popped into your head. But there was no way you could go through something like that and keep it from Thayne. He was your closest friend. And since he was your closest friend, he knew that you hadn’t slept with anyone else lately. At least not close enough for them to be the parent of the baby. Adoption was an option, but Thayne would have to agree to that too. And you’d be pregnant for nine months.

The show! You’d have to go on maternity leave and stop performing.

“Fuck.” You mumbled to no one in particular. This was a mess.

Thayne had a right to know. But for now, you wouldn’t tell anyone. There was no sign of you showing. The only reason you knew is because you missed your period. No one else should know that. You tossed the used tests and boxes in the plastic bag you received from the drug store and tossed them in the dumpster. If your friends came over, they didn’t need to see those in the trash.

At rehearsal the next day, you watched Thayne. Usually, you were amused by his antics and behaviors. Now you studied him and tried to see him as a dad. He was joking with Jazzy and Anthony. You knew he’d care for a kid. That was obvious. But could he raise one? Could you? Were the two of you remotely ready for the responsibility? You didn’t think so. But would Thayne be willing to give up his child? Would you?

You sighed. How were the two of you going to get through this? How were you going to tell Thayne? “You ok?” Thayne asked, walking over to you.

“Yeah.” You smiled but it didn’t reach your eyes. And Thayne, being your closest friend, noticed. He gave you a questioning stare. “I’m just thinking. That’s all.” Thayne sat down next to you.

“Need a second opinion or good listener?” He asked.

“Yeah. Are you going to point me in the right direction?” You teased with a smile.

Thayne gasped dramatically and put a hand in his chest in mock offense. “And here I was, trying to be nice and helpful.” You laughed at him. Typical Thayne. Typical concerned, friendly, funny, kind Thayne. He wasn’t a bad guy. There were worse people you could’ve slept with. After all, Thayne could be easy to love. But again, there was no connection between the two of you. Even though you kinda wished there was right now. “Seriously though.” Thayne said, pulling your attention back. “Do you need to vent or want advice?”

“No, I’m good.” You said.

“You sure? You seemed really lost in your head earlier.” He was so kind and so concerned.

“I’m ok, Thayne. I promise. But thank you.” You reached out and hugged him, and he reciprocated. He was so nice. And you were gonna end up testing the boundaries of that kindness when you told him you were pregnant. You just had to figure how when and how exactly you planned to do that.

—

Did you need to announce your pregnancy to someone if you weren’t dating or trying to have a child together? You didn’t really feel like you needed to, but you knew Thayne would like some cute announcement. But this wasn’t exactly the happy occasion that most pregnancies were. You and Thayne shouldn’t have slept together. You and Thayne weren’t trying to have a child. This whole things was a mess and an accident.

You were constantly lost in your thoughts and Thayne noticed. He was constantly asking if you were ok. And you were constantly telling him that you were. You constantly felt guilt at not telling him the truth. You were worried about this pregnancy. And Thayne needed to know about it.

Thayne found you after rehearsal one day. “Alright, you’re coming over tonight.” He announced.

“I am?”

“Yep. You’ve been moping around and lost in your thoughts for a couple weeks now. You don’t want to tell me about it, and that’s fine. You don’t have to. But I want you to come over and relax. Take your mind off of it for a night.” He instructed.

Absentmindedly, you placed your hand on your stomach. You couldn’t turn Thayne’s plans down. He would grow even more suspicious. “Alright, Thayne. Sounds like fun.” Thayne smiled brightly.

“We’ll head over to my place whenever you are ready to leave.” Thayne said happily. So you quickly packed up and followed Thayne outside. You rode the subway and were at Thayne’s house after a very short time. You immediately dropped onto Thayne’s couch. Thayne on the other hand ran to the kitchen. He emerged a few minutes later, carefully cradling and balancing a large amount of junk food and snacks in his arms. He dropped them on the coffee table in front of the couch. “Alright. Do we want beer, wine, or some mixed drinks?” He asked, starting to head back to the kitchen.

“Uhm…can we have water or soda?” You asked instead. Thayne stopped and turned to you. His expression was pure confusion. The two of you tended to at least have a few drinks when you got together. You never got drunk, but you always had something to drink. You needed to find an excuse quickly. “It’s just…last time we had drinks it didn’t end well.” You fumbled. It wasn’t the best excuse. However, you and Thayne avoided talking about that night. So you weren’t surprised when Thayne blushed and nodded before ducking back into the kitchen. He came back with some soda and water which he also deposited on the coffee table. “There we go.” He plopped down next to you. “Dumb Netflix movies?” You nodded.

So you and Thayne ate, talked, watched movies, made fun of dumb movies. At some point you wandered to Thayne’s room and retrieved a blanket. You sat back down and shared it with Thayne. When you yawned loudly, Thayne shifted so you were both lying on the couch sideways. He was behind you with an arm wrapped around your waist to keep you safely on the couch. This type of closeness wasn’t unusual for you two. However, you couldn’t help but think it was different now.

You both drifted off while you laid on the couch. At some point you both shifted. When Thayne woke up he was lying on his back on the couch You were more or less on top of him. He felt his cheeks heat and turn slightly pink, but he made no move to push you off. You were comfortable and sound asleep as well. He didn’t mind at all.

You had been so distant lately, stuck in your own mind. Thayne desperately wanted to know why. But you didn’t seem inclined to tell him, which was your right. He wouldn’t push you. However, you never kept anything significant secrets from him. It wasn’t that you told him everything, but you told him a lot of things. And anything that was this important, anything that kept you lost in thought, you shared with him. He would help you. So why not now?

Thayne absentmindedly toyed with the strands of your hair. His mind kept, unfortunately, drifting back to that night. You had been playing with his hair all night. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed it a lot. He had a crush on you for a while. But you clearly didn’t care about him that way, you were friends. So he never pushed it. But he felt damn guilty about that night. He felt like he took advantage of you. You were both drunk, or at least tipsy, so maybe both of you were to blame. But Thayne would continue to feel bad about it. And shortly after that night, you started to close off and keep something from him.

For now, he figured he better sleep. He didn’t want his thoughts to be swirling and churning like they so often ended up doing. Every time he thought to his feelings or that night, things got so confusing. So he decided to just close his eyes and sleep. He did, however, tighten his hold on you slightly, doing whatever he could to keep you close.

—

You watched from off-stage as Thayne climbed up on his literal soap box. You watched him perform with all his heart. He loved his job. You had decided that tonight you would tell him you were expecting. It’d be hard to keep it a secret much longer anyway. You performance ended, you took your final bows. Afterwards, back off-stage, you grabbed Thayne’s sleeve. “Hey, can we talk before once we’re out of costume?” You asked.

“Of course.” He said. Thayne changed quickly, and hurried to find you. Once he found you, you had already changed your clothes. You were pacing anxiously. “You ok?” Thayne asked as he walked in.

“Oh, sorta?” It sounded more like a question. “Can you shut the door behind you?” You asked.

“Sure.” Thayne replied and did just that. He went and sat on the couch in the room. “You seem really anxious, Y/N. You can tell me anything, and I know you know that. So what’s going on?” He asked.

You wanted to sit, but you had to be moving. You had too much energy to sit still. “I uh…I wanted to talk to you. I wanna start by saying that I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while. I just, well I didn’t know how to bring this topic up.” You sighed and anxiously raked a hand through your hair. “You had every right to know what I’m about to tell you. I didn’t really mean to keep it from you, I just…”

Thayne stood up. “You just didn’t know how to tell me.” Thayne helpfully finished for you. You nodded. You were wringing your hands together now. Thayne stepped forward and held your hands in his, keeping you from wringing them. Instead you squeezed his hands. “Y/N, just tell me what’s going on. What have you been not telling me?” His voice was so kind and gentle. You mumbled out a response but Thayne couldn’t hear you. “What?” He asked.

You sighed. You fixed your eyes firmly on your shoes. “Thayne, I’m pregnant.” It was still soft, but Thayne definitely had to hear you. He took in a sharp breath. Then his grip on your hands went slack, your hands slipped out of his grip. You chanced a look up at him. He had taken a shocked step back from you and his expression was complete and utter shock. “I…I…I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. I guess, I’m sorry. For not telling you mostly. I didn’t know how and I’m sorry.” Thayne was staring at the ground now, looking like he was trying to understand what you had said to him. You on the other hand were waiting for him to say anything. He looked up at you. He looked confused, shocked, and, above all, hurt. “Fuck, I’m so fucking sorry.” You grabbed your things and hurried out of the room. Thayne didn’t even try to stop you.

—

You rushed out of the room. Thayne didn’t even know what he would stay to make you stay. He dropped back onto the couch. He knew that it was his child. You hadn’t slept with anyone else that he knew of. And with what you said, he deserved to know, it was pretty obvious what it meant.

Well, fuck. They fucked up. Thayne could handle being your friend. That was easy. But he couldn’t handle raising a kid with some strange sort of shared custody. He couldn’t possibly hope to be a father and have you be a mother but not be anything more. Then Thayne thought of something. Did you even want to keep the kid? It wasn’t up to Thayne, it was up to you what they did.

Why did they have sex? Why did you get into this mess? He wanted to raise that kid. But he wanted you to want that too. He wanted to raise the kid with you. Not alongside you. Not with shared custody or anything like that. He wanted to raise their kid with you. But what did you want?

Thayne sighed. The only way to handle this was to talk. A conversation that clearly neither of you were equipped for. Thayne only hoped he could convey exactly what he wanted. But he still had to figure out exactly what he wanted and how to explain it. He decided to walk to a nearby store and purchase chocolate. Then he got a cab and went to your house. He hesitantly knocked.

You opened the door. Your hair was wild and you eyes were red and wet. You had been crying. “Hey.” He said lamely. “Can I come in?” You hesitated. You wanted to slam the door in his face and lock him out until you calmed down. But damn, you needed to talk. You held the door open and let him in. You went to your couch and sat down, you wrapped yourself in a blanket and curled up. You tried to make yourself small and secure. Thayne reached into his bag and held out a chocolate bar with a smile.

You let out a small, surprised laugh. “Thanks. Always thoughtful.” You said with a smile.

“Of course.” He replied. He sat on the opposite side of the couch. He sat facing you, and sat with his legs criss-crossed like a child sits on the floor. “So…we gotta talk.”

“Yeah, I guess…” You toyed with the edge of the blanket. “Do you want an explanation for why I didn’t tell you or…”

Thayne dismissively waved a hand. “Nah. I understand why you waited to tell me. Why it was hard for you to tell me. But there is something I do want to know.” You stared at him, waiting for him to say exactly what that was. “What do you want to do about this?”

You blinked. You hadn’t actually expected this. You thought this would be screaming and fighting and defending your own points. But…Thayne was curious about your wants. “I…I don’t know, Thayne.”

“Ok…uhm…do you want to raise this child? Or…” He hesitated. “Do you want to put the kid up for adoption? Or…what other options are there?”

“Are we even ready to raise a child? Either of us?” You asked. Thayne hung his head. You assumed his was thinking, letting the truth of your statement sink in. However, he was dejected that this was a situation in which the two of you were separate. Neither of you were ready to raise a child, Thayne knew that. But what if you were a unified force?

“Maybe not.” Thayne agreed. “But…” Again he hesitated. “Look, if you don’t want to raise…our child, then I will.”

You stared at him with wide eyes. “You…You will?” You stuttered.

Thayne shrugged a smiled a little. “Yeah. It’s terrifying, sure. But that’s my kid. It was my actions that brought this kid into existence, so I’m partially responsible. And I’ve sorta always wanted to be a dad.” It was gonna break his heart to raise a child without you to help him, but it would have to be done.

“But…by that logic I’m also responsible too. I mean, obviously we’re both responsible. But all the duty shouldn’t fall on you.”

“I’m not saying that. I’m just will to accept that responsibility.” Thayne commented with a shrug.

“Thayne, I don’t want to get rid of this child.” You laid a hand on your stomach. “But I’m not sure I’m ready for one.”

“Me either, certainly not alone.” He said before he could stop himself. “What if we tried it together?”

“Like, shared custody?” You asked.

Thayne let out a frustrated noise and ran a hand through his hair. “Not…exactly. Something…more…” Thayne kept searching for the right way to phrase it. He didn’t want to come on too strong, but he wanted you to finally see his side of things. “Structured?” He ventured. You gave him a confused look, clearly not understanding him. “Fine, I’ll just say it then. A family.” He sighed. “You, me, and a baby makes three.” He shrugged.

“No.” You shook your head. Thayne tried not to let the way his heart shattered show. “Look, us working together might be the best solution. But we can’t be a family. I don’t want to be a family just because of this child. It will only make matters worse and end poorly in the future.”

“Oh.” Thayne squeaked out, realizing why you bluntly shot him down. “Y/N, I don’t want to…” He slowed. Well, time for the truth to come out. He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to have a family with you only because of this child. But that’s an unforeseen bonus.” He scooted closer to you. “I’ve uh, I’ve had a massive crush on you for a while. The night we slept together still bothers me. I mean, I sorta feel like I took advantage of you.”

“Thayne, we both consented to that. Albeit, we were slightly tipsy, but I think we were clear enough to know what we were getting into.”

“True, but I’ll still feel guilty.” He said with a small smile.

“Wait.” You stopped him from saying more. “You have a crush on me?”

Thayne’s smile grew. “Yeah. I know this is totally sudden. Have I really hid it that well?” He asked doubtfully. So you thought, really thought, about it.

“Wow.” You said in realization. “I’m dense.”

“Look, we got a few months here before our lives change forever. And I know that a few months isn’t enough time to know for sure whether we can make a relationship last. But it can give us a good idea of how well we work together. In the few months we have, can we maybe try dating, see how it goes? Maybe it will end horribly, then we can come up with a new plan. But, what if it ends wonderfully? Isn’t that worth trying? Give me a shot. Give us a shot at having a family.” He urged. His voice never changed from his soft and caring tone, except maybe sneaking a little pleading in there. He smirked. “That would be enough.” He sang.

You burst out laughing. You think Thayne’s smile at your laughter was the brightest smile you’d ever seen from him. “That’s better.” Thayne remarked about you laughing instead of moping. You smiled at Thayne and considered his offer. He always loved you. Did you always love him? You would’ve said no earlier. Thayne was trying not to fidget. “Look, Y/N, I don’t mean to pressure you. But I’d like to have some sort of answer.”

You smiled and leaned in and kissed him softly. It was much better than your tipsy kiss. Thayne practically melted into the kiss, and against you. His lips slipped into a smile even as you kissed. It caused a smile to pull at your lips as you pulled away. “Not that I didn’t really enjoy that, but should we slow things down?” Thayne asked.

“Thayne, we already spend time together in things that are practically dates. And we’ve also already slept together. I think kissing is just fine.” You reasoned.

“Well then, I’m not opposed to do it again.” He said with his bring smile. He captured your lips with his once more.

—

Thayne was overly ecstatic at the prospect of being a father. It wasn’t long before you started planning to announce to the cast that you were expecting. Thayne wanted it to be cute announcement. You pooled your paychecks and got a new place to live. Two bedrooms. Next you started looking into what furniture you needed for a child.

It wasn’t long before your relationship with Thayne became known among the cast. It was after a performance, the curtain fell and you gave Thayne a hug. That in itself wasn’t strange. But Thayne pulled back and kissed you soundly. You didn’t care you were at work with co-workers who were unaware of the development of your relationship. You melted into the embrace and returned the kiss willingly.

The two of you pulled apart as a low whistle sounded. You looked around Thayne and found a number of cast members (including Anthony who you suspected of whistling) staring at the two of you. There were a mix of surprised, suggestive, and questioning stares. “Uh, surprise?” You said. Luckily everyone was happy for the two of you. Shortly after was when the two of you moved into your new place together.

A few days later, Thayne found you sprawled out on the bed. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “We gotta get to work soon.”

“We need to tell the cast, Thayne.” You said, looking over at him but not sitting up on the bed.

“I know.” He said. He climbed on the bed and sat criss-cross right behind you. He re-situated both of you so your head was in his lap. “What brought this on today?” He asked, playing with your hair.

You gestured vaguely in the direction of your closet. “I have nothing to wear that doesn’t make it painfully obvious that I’m pregnant.” You complained. “I’m getting fat.”

“Oh shush.” Thayne chided lightly. “You’re beautiful.” He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to the tip of your nose. Then he got off the bed and went to the closet. The next thing you knew, a shirt landed on your face. You sat up and looked at the shirt that was tossed your way. It was one of Thayne’s. “I think that should hide the evidence.” He said. He walked forward and leaned on the bed, one hand on either side of you. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. He pulled away after a moment, but stayed leaning in close. “Should we tell them today?” He asked.

You sighed. “Probably. I can get away with wearing your shirt for a day. But if I started doing that indefinitely it might get a little suspicious.” You quickly shed your pajama top and tossed Thayne’s shirt on. It was large enough to hide your growing stomach. The two of your headed to work, idling still trying to come up with an announcement. You hadn’t figured out how you planned to tell the crew yet. Thayne still wanted to have a big announcement but neither of you came up with one that wasn’t cliche and that would work well with the crew. So it seemed like you’d be winging it.

You walked into the theatre with a few people making comments about you wearing Thayne’s shirt. You stopped by your dressing room, depositing your things. “Lin first?” You asked Thayne.

“Sounds like a good place to start.” So the two of you went to Lin’s dressing room. It was just your luck that Chris and Jonathan happened to be in the dressing room talking to Lin. You looked at Thayne, silently asking if you should ask them to leave. He just shrugged. After all, they’d know soon enough anyway.

“So, uh, I…or I guess we having something to say.” You awkwardly started. Damn it, why hadn’t you planned something? Jonathan, damn him, was already smirking. It seemed he had already figured it out. Chris was calculating, probably figuring it out but also seeing an issue with the fact that the two of you hadn’t been together for long. Lin was merely looking at you, waiting for you to say what you needed. “Uhm…so…” You trailed off.

Thayne wrapped his arms around your torso. “Y/N is trying to say she’s pregnant.” He said bluntly.

“Uh, yeah. That.” You said, shocked at Thayne’s bluntness. Then again, he was excited about this.

“And Thayne is…?” Chris asked. You nodded.

Jonathan’s smirk never faltered. Lin’s expression grew equally as confused as Chris’s. “Wait. You guys have only been together for a few weeks…” The question hung in the air.

“Yeah…” Thayne trailed off.

“How far along are you?” Chris asked.

“Uh…more than a few weeks.” You offered hesitantly.

Lin and Chris shared a look. They looked back to Jonathan who merely shrugged. “When the hell did this happen?” Lin asked. They weren’t mad, just confused.

“Drinks night. About two months ago.” You said with a deep blush. A quick glance at Thayne showed he was also sporting a light blush as well. The three men were silent for a moment before Lin let out a surprised chuckle. The other two men let out chuckles in response then they were laughing. The tension immediately left the room and you and Thayne chuckled too.

“Told you.” Jonathan said after the laughing subsided.

“Huh?” Thayne said.

“Oh, I tried to tell these two that there was something going on between you two long before we were told.”

“Well, it wasn’t like we were dating or—” Jonathan silenced you as he held up a hand.

“You two wouldn’t have slept together if there wasn’t something there.” He said with certainty. Thayne shrugged, which you felt due to his arms still being around him.

“Do the rest of the cast know yet?” Lin asked.

“Nope.” You said.

“You guys are the first.” Thayne added. “Who’s next?” So the two of you continued through the rest of the cast. Anthony and Jasmine congratulated the two of you. Daveed and Oak drilled you like Lin, Chris, and Jonathan had. Pippa and Renee asked all sorts of questions like if you knew the gender yet. Leslie also merely offered a heartfelt congratulations. That left the ensemble members. “Should we track them down one at a time or tell them all at once?”

At this point you were ready for this announcing thing to be over. “All at once, please?” You answered.

“Of course.” Thayne pressed a kiss to your forehead as he sensed your annoyance. “Almost done.” He commented. He detoured to the snack table to get both of you a much needed chocolate fix. You found the assembled ensemble members. “We need to talk to you guys.” Thayne announced loud enough for you to gain the attention of all the members. They turned and looked at you. Thayne gave you a glance as well. You sighed, not knowing how to tell them. Thayne read your mood well. He stood behind you with his hands on your shoulders. “Basically…guess who’s going to be a father?” He asked with a smile. You shot him a look over your shoulder. “And I suppose I should add, guess who’s going to be a mother? Guess who’s going to be parents?” He amended.

The entire ensemble was excited. You had a lot of them ask you questions but eventually you and Thayne had to pull away. You hid away in your dressing room. You collapsed on the couch in the dressing room. “That was exhausting.” You said. Thayne sat down beside you. He leaned over and laid his head in your lap. You absentmindedly toyed with his hair, pleased you could freely do so now without worrying about what would happen in response to the action.

“I hate to break it to you, Y/N, but as soon as that kid is born then things will be even more exhausting.” He commented.

You sighed, that was true. “What are we gonna do when this little one gets here?” You asked rhetorically.

“Love them.” Thayne answered anyway. “We will give them all the love we can. That’s what good parents do and that’s what makes a family.”

—

-Ten Years Later-

You stared at the reception hall. Ten years. Hamilton premiered ten years ago. It was a reunion of sorts. Tomorrow there would be news reporters and performances. Today, there was a gather of former cast members. Like a class reunion, but better. Cast members and their families were all getting together today. It was shaping up to be a fun night.

You walked inside. Instantly you were greeted by noise. Then, Lin walked up to you. He was so famous now. But to you, he was still a dork who wrote a Tony Award winning musical about Alexander Hamilton. He was also still your friend. You noticed his two boys running around as well, playing with the other kids present. Lin greeted you with a hug, pointed you toward the free food being offered, and invited you to mingle around with your old friends. And that’s what you did.

Main cast and ensemble members. Nearly everyone was here. Everyone was commenting how ten years ago seemed so long, yet it passed in the blink of an eye. And you couldn’t agree more. So much had happened to you in ten years. You scanned the crowd once more for blonde hair and a blinding smile. You sighed again as you failed to see it. You knew why Thayne wasn’t here. But…you had hoped.

Instead, you focused on talking to those who showed up. After all, you hadn’t seen some of these people in ten years. You were talking to Jonathon Groff, catching up with him. Then, suddenly, “Mommy!” You spun as you saw your little girl running toward you. Riley had her dad’s hair color and his bright smile. You crouched and gave her a hug. “Hi, Jonathon.” She greeted happily. Jonathan smiled and waved in response.

“Sorry we’re so late.” Thayne said, walking in behind her. He pulled you into a kiss, you couldn’t help but smile against his lips. He pulled back with a smile of his own. “Traffic is awful. But, we made it.”

“Things went ok?” You asked.

“Yep.” He said with a smile. “Ren got his booster shots and is ready for kindergarten.” Thayne said and looked to the little boy who was holding his hand. Your son. Almost a spitting image of his father. Lin greeted Thayne and your kids both. They exchanged idle chatter for a brief moment. “Hey uh Lin, there’s free food right?” You and Lin both rolled your eyes thinking back to Thayne constantly raiding the snack table at Hamilton. But Lin pointed out the table anyway. Thayne put a hand on each of your children’s shoulders. “Come on, if we hurry then your mom can’t limit how many cookies we get.” The three of them ran off before you could say anything. You just shook your head and watched them with a fond smile.

A daughter and a son. A husband too. A family. Things with Thayne weren’t immediately perfect, and you had your fights too, every couple does. But they were perfect enough for the two of you. So yes, if you had been asked in the beginning of everything if you loved Thayne; the answer would’ve been no. But if you were asked now, if you loved Thayne; yes wouldn’t be enough to properly explain just how much you loved him.

#hamilton #hamilton imagine #thayne jasperson #thayne jasperson imagine #thayne x reader #thayne jasperson x reader

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