dumbawesomev69 - Tumblr blog

dumbawesomev69 · 12 days

Text

Later

Jaune walked back.

Jaune: God, what a long day, but at least it's over.

*whistle*

Jaune looks up to see....

Milfs

Jaune: Welp, I least I'll die happy. *gets drag away*

Jaune's debt to society

Part 1

Nora: *bursting inside RWBY's room with a sleeping Ren on her back* Guys, you won't believe what Jaune did this time!

Weiss: *leaves her scroll on her bed before looking at Nora* Please tell it's not another bad PSA about drugs and how he use them like candy

Nora: Oh, that?, well... Let's just say that the general was not happy with what Jaune did and as punishment, he made him do some community service in Mantle with the Happy Huntresses and throw out the antidepressants that made him crazy and replace them with some experimental ones with less or bad side effects

Weiss: Oh, that doesn't sound that bad

Ruby: *smiles* Yeah, it sounds very good for him. Now, if he just accepted to go to therapy, i would be more happy for him

Yang: Give it a rest, Rubes. We know he will never talk

Ruby: I know, but i can only hope

Nora: ANYWAY! He just made another commercial!

Yang: Oh come on!! He gets to do another commercial after the fiasco it was the previous one!? Everyone should love us and not Mr guy with blond spiky hair, blue eyes and depresso!

Blake: *sigh*Yang, answer me this. Have we ever helped any citicen of Atlas or Mantle after we were named hunstmen?

Yang: Well, no

Blake: Do we help kids cross the streets?

Yang: No, we leave that to Jaune

Blake: Do we let older woman ogle our ass or our bodies every time they accidentally want to give water to us and we have to dry your chest like those thristy MILF's from Mantle do to Jaune?

Yang: Older men ogle me, does it count? *blake glares at her* i guess not

Blake: Then shut the fuck up, i want to see what shit Jaune did this time!

Yang: Why are you getting angry with me? i thought i was your waifu

Blake: Go suck a dick, Yang! Now, Nora, please show us the commercial

Nora: Way ahead of you, Blakey *has her scroll connected to RWBY's tv* All i have to do is push the play button

-CUT-

Robyn: *appears in a laundry room, holding a shirt* My clothes are soft, but they're not hugably soft

Jaune appears from the window with a basket of clean clothes dressed in only a yellow colored fured short shorts and tank top with some bunny ears on his head*

Jaune: Leave it to me! *Robyn screams* Being hugably soft is my business, and it's a good business *giggles*

Robyn: *touches a shirt from Jaune's basket and later touch Jaun's tank top* They are soft, and so are you Cuddles. *Robyn starts tickling Cuddles, who giggles playfully* Very, very soft... *Robyn then kisses Jaune on his uncovered stomach and he begins to feel a bit uneasy*

Jaune: Uh... Um... *Robyn takes Jaune to a bathroom* Where are we going?

Robyn: *pants* I need your softness...

Robyn closes the door, and the sound of unzipping pants can be heard. Both Jaune and Robyn start groaning; she sound ecstatic, while the Arc seem to be more uncomfortable

Jaune: No, i dont want this-Well, maybe yes!

Robyn: So soft...

Jaune: I mean no, no!

Robyn: Don't fight it... *Groans continue and some time later, the door is open. Robyn's clothes are slightly messed up* You might wanna... clean yourself up

Jaune stumbles out of the room, visibly shaken with his tank top ripped apart like it was a vest and his fur shorts has a weird wet stain that travel all his groin. Robyn stuffs Jaune into a big washing machine, and pulls him out later. He seems slightly more worn-out

Robyn: Good as new!

Jaune: Yeah... G-good as new... *Robyn cradles Jaune in her arms and Jaune is twitching, obviously traumatized*

Robyn: My, you're just so... huggably soft...

Jaune: No, no, not really that soft!

Robyn enters with Jaune to the bathroom again. Groans start again

Jaune: Stop! This isn't right! *groans*

Announcer: Cuddles Brand Fabric Softener. When your clothes have to be huggably, rapably fresh

Jaune: I... My pelvis hurts!

Robyn: Shut it!

Announcer: Buy it now at you closest mall for only 30 Lien!

VOTE ROBYN HILL FOR THE COUNCIL, TOGETHER WE'LL MAKE MANTLE BETTER

-CUT-

Nora: Well? what do you think? I think he was awesome

Yang: *with the image of his abs on her mind* Hot damn! you could cut diamonds in that washboard

Weiss: This is nasty! How dare they do this kind of publicity when it's familly time!?

Ruby: *still looking at the paused screen* Weiss? I... think i want to have that softener for my clothes

Blake: *with a line of blood coming out of her nose* Don't worry Ruby, i got you covered *show's her scroll with a buy of ten boxes of Cuddles brand softener at the name of Weiss with the permission to use a credit card of someone with the initials J.S*

Meanwhile at the Schnee mansion

Winter: *speaking with someone on her scroll* Yes, the Atlas army want at least one hundred boxes of that Cuddles softener… cash or card? *holds a photo of a Schnee orichalcum credit card with the initials J.S* It will be with my dad's credit card smirks

Meanwhile at the schnee mansion... again

Willow: *also speaking with someone on her scroll* Hello? i would like to order one thousand boxes of Cuddles brand softener for the Schnee mansion... *looks at a Schnee orichalcum credit card with the initials J.S* It will be with my husband's card, of course *smirks*

Uhhh...

Jacques: Why the fuck am i being charged with one thousand one hundred and ten boxes of that dumb softeners?!

224 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 26 days

Text

Far away in hell

Doomguy: I sense my great great grandson has arrived.

What The Girls Think The Boys Are Doing Blake: Hey, have you seen, Sun? I wanted to ask him if he wanted to hang out. Weiss: No, but have you seen, Neptune? I wanted to ask him if he like to dance. Blake: Nope. Weiss: Hmmm... Yang: Hey guys, what's up? Weiss: We're looking for, Neptune, and Sun; have you seen them buy chance? Yang: Nope. Coco: Hey ladies~! WBY: Hey, Coco. Yang: What's up beautiful? Coco: Have you seen my, 'If I had to pick a dude?' WBY: Eh? Velvet: She means, Jaune? Weiss: Beg pardon? Pyrrha: Wait, does that mean you like, Jaune? Coco: Hey, Goddess~! Yeah I like, Jaune... to a certain extent. Have you seen him, I need his advice for an outfit? Yang: Fashion advice... from, Jaune...? Weiss: From that slob? Coco: He knows nothing about men's fashion, but his knowledge about woman's fashion is divine~! Yang: It is? Pyrrha: Seven sisters, he knows what he's talking about. And, no I haven't seen him. I was just about to ask you if you have seen him actually. Coco: Where did he go? Nora: Hey gals! Velvet: Hi, Nora. Nora: Have any of you seen, Renny? WBYPCV: No. Nora: What?! Where did he go? Blake: That's the million dollar question. Sun, Neptune, Ren, and Jaune are all missing, and none of us know where the boys are. Ruby: The boys? I know where they are, well mostly... Weiss: You do? Pyrrha: You know where they are? Coco: Where are they? Ruby: Well, I don't know where exactly. But, they said they went to, Vale to do something. Blake: Something? Yang: What are they doing? Ruby: I don't know. They just said they're going to, Vale. Yang: They're probably out getting drunk, or something. Coco: I doubt that, Bunny Boy can really hold his drink. Nora: Jaune? Pyrrha: Bunny boy? ~~~ What the Boys are actually doing:

youtube

348 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 27 days

Text

Arc Giga

Dorm living room

Team rwby were waiting with worried expressions as Ruby was pacing back and forth, yang was leaning against the wall tapping her foot impatient while crossing her arms, blake while being the quiet one she sat in silence but her bow twitch every minute looking around waiting for something to happen and Weiss finally spoke her mind.

Weiss: Oh for the brother's sake! What's taking them so long it's been three hours!

Blake: two hours.

Weiss: whatever! They should be here by now!

Suddenly the door opened revealing their sister team however one of the members wasn't with them.

Team rwby gather around them asking questions about one person. "How's jaune!?"

Pyrrha: he's fine, they managed to sedate him and move him to the basement and lock the entrance.

Lie ren: They also contacted his sister who notified their parents, said they'll send the medicine for jaune but won't be here until a few weeks is for now jaune is on his own.

You may be wondering what is going on well let me explain you see our favorite lovable blonde boy jaune is a faunus but not just any faunus but a prehistoric one called a dino faunus thought to be extinct or fairy tales.

But jaune is one, a Giganotosaurus meaning he's much larger than other faunus on the size of an elephant faunus (just to give you an idea he dwarfs over yatsuhashi and elm) however he's not only he's a rare he's also an apex on like an alpha, apex's are extremely more powerful and aggressive. For jaune case he gets it from his great, great, great, great, great, gre-uh skip a generation, great-grandmother who had a rage semblance when she takes enough damage she goes crazy and it didn't help for the fact that she was a dino faunus but a Brachiosaurus.

Because of that jaune developed a rage mode where he will lose control and hurt/kill everything especially when he was a kid occasional he'll wander in the forest and will be later found surrounded by destroy trees, dead grim or the occasional bandits of course he managed to control it however like many faunus it's that time of year... Mating season where many find a mate but for jaune that's a difference because being an apex means that many faunus are afraid of him whether they are alphas or other small carnivores.

Plus jaune never thought about having kids yet but because of that jaune went through the season so many times he became extremely aggressive towards everyone and everything plus his rage Jaune with a walking bomb.

Team rwby and team npr were all saddened as Ruby spoke up. "There's got to be a way to help him."

Pyrrha: the only way to help him if he takes his special suppressed pills or mate with him but the second option is extremely dangerous his father explained it but his mother seem to encourage it.

Yang: Still we got to do some or poor vomit boy will stay like this forever!

Both teams were interrupted when they heard a mighty roar that shook the build, making Blake shake in fear as they all immediately knew who it was as Nora looked down whispering to herself. "Don't worry, Fearless leader We will think of something."

Late at night

Pyrrha was laying in bed as she turned over to an empty bed where jaune used to sleep but now he's sleeping in the basement as the shattered moonlight shines through the window the Spartan champion made a decision.

Sneaking out of bed carefully not to wake her two teammates up before grabbing a flashlight and head off towards the main school walking down the halls towards the basement as the door was tightly secured until Pyrrha used her semblance to unlock the door.

She opened the door slowly making loud creaking before heading down but closed the door behind her not wanting anything to see or panic. As she walks down the stairs she couldn't help but felt an odd chill run down her spine but ignore it as she makes it down the stairs.

She carefully moves around trying to find jaune, she starts to sweat in fear but thankfully there is a warm breeze to calm down. "Wait a minute, how can there be a breeze when there are no windows or any opening for air to come in unless..."

Pyrrha slowly turns around spotting two glowing eyes as she shines the light revealing shirtless jaune arc as he lets out a roar making Pyrrha screams as he launches at her. She avoided his attack as she wished to bring her shield as jaune swings at her Pyrrha again avoided it however she didn't see his large tail.

It hit her, sending her flying against the wall thankfully her Aura protected her but it still hurt as she tried to stand up but jaune pin her down as he kneel down to her growling next to her ear as he whispers in a deep voice.

"Submit"

Pyrrha did as he told her and submitted to him as a wide grin covered his face as he lifted his hand off of her and started its way down and before she knew her half pajamas were torn off as jaune chuckles as he started rubbing her pussy.

"Wow Pyrrha already wet just from me touching you, well that small fight got me thirsty."

Jaune moves down lowering his hand and opens his mouth revealing his razor sharp teeth before closing around Pyrrha crotch area and started sucking.

Pyrrha moans feeling his mouth muscles working and his tongue enters inside her feeling near her womb as Pyrrha couldn't hold it in and cum to which jaune drank all of it as he removed his mouths licking his lips as he removed his boxers revealing a tape down cup.

He ripped off making growl in pain letting loose his large dick as Pyrrha stared in complete shock as her face turned red as jaune grabbing it with one pointing it down as he uses his other hand to tear the rest of Pyrrha clothes and slowly but firmly shove it in her making Pyrrha to scream in pain.

Tears form around Pyrrha's eyes as they started streaming down but suddenly jaune started licking her face as she saw his eyes weren't glowing anymore. "Don't worry Pyrrha I got you."

Jaune spoke in his normal voice making Pyrrha smile as they didn't move for a while until she gave him the go to move. He started thrusting as he held on to her with one hand as the other played with her breast before he lends in and started sucking them care not or bite them with his teeth.

Pyrrha: Oh jaune~ go easy on them.

Jaune: I can't help it, they are so good I can't wait for them to give milk~.

Before Pyrrha can reply jaune stood up as he started thrusting even hard as he wraps his arms around her and her legs slamming deeper inside her as she moans louder feeling womb completely filled with jaune.

Jaune: I'm going to come and I won't stop filling you until you're pregnant with my kids.

Pyrrha: Then do it! Make me a mother!

With a few more thrust jaune release years of not mating finally was xom out as screams in pleasure as her stomach expanded, tongue sticking out, eyes widen as jaune roar as he held onto her not letting go until his seed spit out.

He carefully pulled Pyrrha off and a wave of his seed poured out as he lay her against the wall smirking. "Team rwby who wants to go first?"

Up on the stairs was team rwby naked as they stood their faces red they made their way down each bowing down. "We're ready for you."

It wasn't long as Ruby was moaning as jaune held her head down, ass up and slamming down on her as Ruby moaned. "Yes! Jaune fuck me! Make me your slut!" Jaune once more came filling Ruby womb with his hot seed.

Yang was on all fours as jaune mounted her, grabbing her hair pulling it as he slapped her ass. "You like this uh you blonde bitch!"

Yang moans out. "Yes! I do when you do it! Now make me a mommy too!" Jaune pulled harder as he thrusts even harder until coming inside. "Oh yeah it's so warm!" Yang moans out as jaune chuckles.

Blake was getting mating press as jaune used his tongue to mind fuck her. "This is so FUCKEN kinky!" Blake moans out as jaune pulls his tongue back. "Oh this is just the beginning." He started thrusting faster as Blake started meowing before letting out the loudest nya ever as jaune seed filled her up. "I'm going to have so many kittens!" Jaune roared out as he said. "I like to see how that monkey fucker reacts when he finds out, his crush is getting breed by me!"

Finally it was Weiss turn as jaune sat back as she started pushing herself onto him which was cute. "Weiss you sure you got this." Weiss pouted. "Of course, it's just hard to put your thing inside me." Jaune smiles as he decides to help her by grabbing one of her legs and pulling which causes her to fall on top of jaune's dick immediately tears start forming but jaune calms her down by grabbing her cheek and rubbing it. "It's alright snow queen, you're fine."

Weiss smiles, after sometime she starts moving which as jaune moans he asks. "bet Neptune wasn't as big as I am." Weiss blush. "Actually we never did it nor kiss even." Jaune smirks as he pulls Weiss in for a deep French kiss shoving his tongue down her throat making her gag before he pulls back. "Well now it's time for me to make sure that blue hair mother fucker don't get near you nor try to claim you." Jaune grabbed a hold of Weiss and started thrusting crazy as he saw Weiss small stomach bulges out as weiss face was distorted as Jaune continued before releasing filling the ice queen small womb with his Apex seed.

By the time jaune finished breed Pyrrha and team rwby he was still hard as the girls started licking his dick and sucking his balls before jaune carried them to his dorm living room where he placed them down when he heard glass shattering.

He looks to find ren standing in the kitchen frozen in fear as jaune moves over to her towering over her shaking body before rubbing her cheek. "Ren don't worry I won't hurt you." He then tore off her pajamas and picked her up then kissing her ramming his tongue down her throat.

Ren moans as she feels his tongue taking over her mouth before jaune pulls back leaving a trail of saliva as he places her on the kitchen table opening her legs. "So wet guess I won't need to warm you up anymore." With one motion he inserted himself inside of her as he starts thrusting.

Ren's eyes widened as she looked to see her bulging stomach as jaune held her sides and started moving faster making her moan as she wrapped her legs around him not letting go as he got even faster. "Jaune, oh fuck s..she's asleep in the room I want you to go ravage once your done with me."

Jaune smirks as he leads down to her. "Good idea for that I'll make sure that when you give birth, I'll impregnate you again first." Ren smiles. "Yes master please do." With a few more thrust jaune release filling ren up before slowly pulling out letting his seed pour out of her as jaune clean up the broken glass and headed towards the dorm room where he saw Nora sleeping peacefully.

He approached quietly as he got to her bed he saw she had his pumpkin Pete custom-made sweater holding it tightly which made jaune smiles as he started rubbing her ass. Nora moans a bit as jaune removes her underwear and spreads her cheeks as he shoves it in again making her moan as jaune feed until he stops as jaune slowly mount her whispering her to waking her.

"Nora wake up". Nora opened slowly when she saw jaune which got her confused. "Jaune-jaune? Is this a dream?" Jaune smirks. "Let's see." Without warning he ram straight inside her not only waking her up but causing her to moan loudly as jaune wrap a arm around her neck holding her in place before thrusting with no mercy.

Nora gritted her teeth as jaune held onto her as he was ramming her nonstop. "God Nora your pussy is so tight and warm!" Nora just moans as jaune slaps her ass. "God I can't wait for you to be pregnant with my kids I wonder if your milk will taste like pancakes and syrup." Nora continued to moan until jaune roared out as he came releasing his seed inside her making Nora to moan louder.

Jaune let's go as Nora then pushed him onto his back where she looked at him straight in the eyes before slamming herself onto him. "Fearless master I'm not done yet, in fact we are not done yet." Jaune looked towards the doorway, finding the others standing there ready for another to which he smiles.

"well then, let's get busy~"

To be continued

#Ark Giganotosaurus #rwby #Jaune x harem #lemon #Giganotosaurus! faunus jaune #ark survival evolved #gender bender

12 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 28 days

Text

Jaune: Weiss's let's talk about this.

Weiss's: No it's our turn for a good dicking!!

Jaune try to run but legs get frozen before getting drag away.

Your Fav rwby ship like this:

@rwby-encrusted-blog @howlingday @watcher-servant @juanarc-thethird

121 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 29 days

Text

Jacques schnee: winter, Whitley help!

Winter and Whitley: *hand over weapons that hurt a lot more* Here you go.

Jacques schnee: Willow do something!

Willow:

I waited for this day for you to die!

Jacques schnee: Oh shit

Mama Arc: Who's that?

Wolf Ruby: I'm Jaune's favorite bitch~!

Mama Arc: ...

Jaune: Ruby, we've talked about this.

289 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

100 likes!

#100 likes #tumblr milestone

0 notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

2500 likes!

#2500 likes #tumblr milestone

0 notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

5 posts!

#5 posts #tumblr milestone

0 notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

Happy birthday

Master roshi: Yeah I'll get the bitches!

God I feel so depressed…

59 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

Thank you to everyone who got me to 250 likes!

Lit

#250 likes #tumblr milestone #thank you

0 notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

Happy birthday Pyrrha

Pyrrha was walking out of another commercial building heading home trying to avoid any fans luckily there weren't many people out so getting back to Beacon was easy.

Pyrrha: oh what a long can't believe they had me working and on my birthday of all days.

Pyrrha groans as she makes it back to her room when she opens the door the room was dark as she turned on the lights.

Pyrrha stood in surprise as all of her friends.

Pyrrha: wow, but how did you know?

Ruby: jaune told us and we wanted celebrated because you've been working hard every day a beacon and your commercials.

Coco: so we decided to make it a surprise party.

Sun: yeah, it was all jaune idea.

Pyrrha smiles until she realizes someone was missing.

Pyrrha: wait where is jaune?

Yang smirks as she opens the door as cardin and his team pull in a massive cake.

Before she can ask Blake told her.

Blake: blow out the candles and you will see.

Pyrrha was confused but did so and suddenly jaune came bursting out of the cake wearing nothing more than a Speedo.

Jaune: Happy birthday Pyrrha! *Rip* OH SHIT MY SPEEDO!

Right before everyone eyes jaune Speedo broke letting free his massive meat as Pyrrha eyes sparkle as everyone else were either covering their eyes or taking photos while with bloody nose which is mostly the girl.

Pyrrha:

Best birthday ever!

#rwby #rwby Pyrrha #happy birthday pyrrha #rwby shitpost

9 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

The Baddest Shota: Baby Sitting Some Arkos

Terra: Thanks again Pyrrha it means a lot to me that your willing to watch my lil' brother. I know your busy after all.

Pyrrha: Oh it's no problem really, after all you always went out of your way to help me study.

Terra: Well I appreciate it all the same, let me introduce you to my little brother... Preferably by him putting down his bat! Jaune What Are You Doing!?

Jaune: Relax, I'm just giving this Homewrecker a warning!

Pyrrha: Homewrecker? M-me!?

Jaune: Yeah You! Why Else Would My Sisters Suddenly Wanna Get Me A Girl Babysitter!?

Terra: Because You Break All The Boy's Legs!

Jaune: 1.) I break their ARMS and Legs, I don't discriminate between limbs and 2.) it's there fault for saying how you two need a good dicking!?... What's a dicking by the ways?

Terra: I, you... Dammit your too endearing to stay mad at... Pyrrha this is Jaune.

Pyrrha: I, um, hello.

Jaune: *Eyes Narrow* Your on thin ice Beautiful!

Beautiful, Me...

Jaune rose his bat at the pink cheeked Spartan Aura glowing, his eyes lighting as he channeled aura into his bat. Making the nails vibrate and wood splinter.

Jaune: I've seen the dirty shows my sisters watch! I know what adults do with the babysitters! Don't think for a second that your getting any Cotta-Arc lovin just cuz your watching me!

Pyrrha: What!? Wait I don't even like gir-

Jaune: Just cuz it would be a crime to hurt someone as Beautiful as you doesn't mean I won't!

Pyrrha: -///-

He said it again...

Terra: Jaune, Pyrrhas the Mistral Region champion.

Jaune: Never heard of it...

Terra: It means she's really strong.

Jaune: So were the last seven babysitters you hired.

Terra grasped for straws, seeing that the growing angier shota was only getting worse.

Terra: She's on the cover of pumpkin pete cereal.

Jaune: SHE IS!!!???

Abruptly the boy ran to the kitchen and looked on the box cover to confirm the statement.

Jaune: Oh My Gods She Is!

The boy lunged for her grabbing the redheads waist to hug her. Almost as if she might disappear otherwise!

Jaune: That Means You Met Pumpkin Pete!

Pyrrha: That's not necessarily true...

I don't wanna tell him he isn't real.

Jaune: Yes It Is! See! He's Right Here With You!... Is pumpkin Pete just a head by the ways? I've never seen his body. Is it cuz he's fat?

Innocent blue eyes stared up at her as Terra and Saphron sneaked out the doorway for their date.

Saphron: This is great, I never thought we'd find a babysitter he liked.

Terra: I know, for once we won't need to involve the police or hospital.

Saphron: Yep! Nothing can go wrong!

-Next Morning-

Something went wrong, and not just on their end. Both had had a bit too much fun and a tad too many drinks. And well, Jaune had a babysitter and room service sounded amazing to the two sloshed lesbian’s minds.

So they called a... Winded? Pyrrha to ask if she could spend the night. Had they not been so plastered they might've noted how immediate and even excited her ‘Yes!’ was... And now they were seeing the effects as Pyrrha stood before them, her outfit disheveled, buttons done up wrong, a sock missing and even her hair a utter mess.

Both girls stared... The girl despite her state of dress looked positively glowing as she fumbled about shyly. Not willing to meet their gazes half in shame and they suspected because she could barely keep down her smile.

She, she smells like Jaune shampoo!

Terra: So… You and Jaune seem to be getting along…

What the Fuck!

Terra: Right Saph? Saph?

Saphron:…

Are Those Hickies?

Terra jabbed her wife’s side.

Saphron: Right! Yeah, super good, your knees aren’t broken after all see.

Kneeling Saphron added to the awkwardness by slapping her thighs, and then pausing.

SHE HAS HICKIES HERE TOO!!!

Terra: ‘Sniff Sniff’ Since when did you learn to cook Pyrrha?

Pyrrha’s face burned even brighter.

Pyrrha: I-I didn’t, J-Jaune cooked breakfast for us…

Saphron: ‘Heh’ What, were you too tired to get outta bed haha… Y-you’re not laughing… Pyrrha?

Pyrrha shook in place, obviously overwhelmed with shame and embarrassment.

Pyrrha: I-I Should Go! I’M SORRY!!!

And like that she ran for it… Or really more limped away… Both women were speechless, walking into their home and seeing the place tidy as ever, no signs of battle, bloodshed or wonton destruction. Instead there was a smell…

Saphron: Oh my god…

Terra: I need to check our room!

Terra ran off upstairs as Saphron looked to her little brother, the Shota sitting their his tiny shirt off revealing A LOT of kiss marks…

Saphron: J-Jaune, what happened?

Jaune: You wanted us to get along… The Mommy and Daddy game is fun.

Saphron: Nice… I Mean WHAT!?

Jaune: Oh yeah, I need a new bed, kinda broke it last night and had to sleep in yours…

Terra: OH GAWDS IT EVERYWHERE!!!

Saphron:…

I’m torn between being proud, horrified and envious…

Terra: That’s It! Pyrrha Can’t Babysit Him Again!

Next Time I Getting Bleiss To Do it! He Might Learn How To Swear But At Least Something Like This Won’t Happen With A Lesbian Like Her!

Might write the the actual smut that happened at some point, for now though it's all bout the Lols

260 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

The Baddest Lil’ Shota

Saphron: Okay Lil’ brother we’re in Vale how bout we- Huh!? Oh Gods! Where’d Jaune Go!?

-Meanwhile-

‘CRASH!’

Store Owner: HELP! THAT CRIMINAL ROBBED MY CANDY STORE!!!

Cop 1: That child?

Jaune: You’ll Never Take Me Alive Pigs!

Cop 2: Should, should we do something?

Cop 1: I’m not about to arrest a kid…

Jaune: What You Call Me!? *Swings Bat!*

‘CRACK!’

Cop 1: AHHH!!! MY LEG!

Jaune: I’m Not A Kid! I’m This Many! (Holds Up Five Finger) I’m Basically Adult You Donut Chugging Tools!

A Crack Like thunder rung and the child was suddenly sent flying from the shot.

Candy Store Owner with a Shotgun: I GOT HIM!!!

Cop 2: YOU SHOT A KID!

WE ARE SO SCREWED!!!

Jaune: Ugh! You tub of lard! That Was A Cheap Shot!

Store Owner: Wha-what?

Aura glowed around the angry shota, his eyes burning blue as he heaved his nailed bat over his shoulder, the wood splintering as he infused his horrendously massive aura reserves into it.

Jaune: Just for that, I’m using my aura, screw what Pops said about only using it when necessary!

Dumb old man couldn’t beat me once he unlocked my shiny power anyways so why should I listen to him…

Before the boy could inact his childishly cruel will though several bullets fired in front of him as warning shots.

Jaune: Tch! Now you got a sniper too, freaking campers…

Before him a storm of petals formed into a Reapette.

Ruby: Halt Criminal scu- Awww!

He’s so cute

Jaune: Huh? The heck are you supposed to be, a magical girl or something?

Ruby: Awe, Look at your lil’ bunny rabbit shirt.

Jaune: Hey! Don’t Dis Pumpkin Pete Or I’ll Take Out Your Knees! Now Answer My questions Pretty Lady!

Ruby: Awe, you think I’m pretty ‘heh’ ~Well, I’m looking for a criminal.

Store Owner: That’s Him! He’s The criminal! He Robbed My Store!

Ruby: You What!?

Jaune: That’s Right! And I’ll Do It Again You Old Racist Bastard!

Store Owner: Racist!

Jaune: Anyone who has a no Faunus Allowed Sign Is A Racist! And deserves to have their windows smashed!

Ruby: But, um… Technically it’s still a crime…

Jaune: Okay, for the last time *Points Bat At Her* Who are you?

Ruby: I’m Ruby Rose and I’m a huntress… In-Training. And I need to stop you…

I Don’t Wanna Fight A Kid! AND HE’S SO CUTE TOO!!!

Jaune: I’ll split the candy with you…

Ruby:…

Jaune:… Do it.

-0-0-0-

Saphron: Jaune! Where Are You!?

Dammit Not Again! This is The Mistral Incident All Over Again! I Have To Find Him Before He Does Anything Like Back Then! If It’s anything like That Time He’ll End Up Cuteducing Another Up And Coming Huntress To His Side! DAMMIT I AM NOT DEALING WITH ANOTHER PYRRHA NIKOS!!!

-0-0-0-

Ruby: Mom Dad! I’ve Failed You! I’m no better then a common thief!

Jaune: Less Yapping and more running Legs For Days!

Ruby: Awe, thankyou!

No Wait! He’s The Bad Guy! The Cute Little Bad Boy!

Jaune: This Way Big Butt!

Ruby: Hey My Butts Not That Big!

Jaune: That’s Not A Bad Thing Y’know!

My Dad says Big Butts don’t lie so they have to be good… right? But how do they talk?

Jaune: Oh C’mon Stop Shoveling Candy in your mouth!

Ruby: But It’s So Good!

Jaune: Dangit!

Well, Guess I got no choice! Just like Pops said! Do With Confidence!

Jaune: Come Here! *Reaches Out and HOLDS HER HAND!!!*

Ruby: O///O WHA!? H-Hey! Don’t Do That! You Can’t Just Suddenly Grab A Girls Hand!

Jaune: Huh? Oh right…

Suddenly he turned and made to better his grip, interlocking their fingers, Ruby’s face turning utterly read as the Shota looked up to her with steeling set eyes no boy his age should have.

Ruby: Y-you can’t do that! Only Couples Hold Han-

Jaune: Your Mine Now! Now Hurry Up!

Ruby: Y-Yes Sir!!!

Oh No! I’ve Been Seduced By A Bad Boy!

Suddenly the reaper turned to roses swallowing up her new Shota and allowing them to escape so much easier.

Jaune: Whoa, why didn’t you do this before.

Ruby could not hear him, all she could hear was the erratic inner monologue and rapidly beating heart. Jaune on the other hand had to ask himself yet again.

Why the heck do every pretty lady I know do what I want once I say that? It Doesn’t Even Make Sense! You Can’t Own People? So why do they like it when I say their mine?

197 notes · View notes

dumbawesomev69 · 1 month

Text

I wonder if he made everyone a plush

Company

It was a long day for weiss, not as long as it was supposed to be thanks to Ruby breaking a firedust vial inside the store, but it was still a day long enough that her teammates managed to make a number on her. She wanted to relax a bit and knew just the place.

She stopped in front of JNPR's door and was about to knock when she heard a familiar voice.

Jaune: I should probably do that, shouldn't i?

Weiss: wasn't he supposed to be alone today?

Jaune: But i don't know, the base Pyrrha has been teaching me works so well already. . . . *Groan* sword styles are so complicated, and i'm just too tired. At least you're here for me.

Weiss: who?

Jaune: Having you around makes me feel a lot better, we should just lay down a bit for now. Can you make me company?

Weiss: *eyes twitching* Excuse me!?

Jaune: I really love you, y'know?

Weiss: *vein pops* That's it! *Slams door open*

Jaune: *fumbling on the bed* W-WEISS!?!? I-i thought you were still on vale!?

Weiss: Who were you talking to!?

Jaune: N-no one! I. . . .m-my scroll! Yeah! I was talking to my sister on my scroll!

Weiss: We both know you're a terrible liar arc! So tell me, who were you talking to!? And where is she!?

Jaune: T-there's no one here! I'm serious!

She noticed him trying to sneakily push something behind his back.

Weiss: What did you got there?

Jaune: *Sweating* N-nothing. . .

Weiss: . . . .give it to me jaune.

Jaune: No. . .

Weiss: *reaching out* Give it to me!

Jaune: *trying to hold her* No! Wait! Weiss i-

Weiss: . . . . . . .

Jaune: *red* . . . . . .

Weiss: *holding a miniature plushie of herself* what. . . .is this?

Jaune: I-it's. . .you.

Weiss: I can see that, but why do you have a plushie of me? And where did you buy this?

Jaune: I made it myself.

Weiss: *shocked* You made it?

Jaune: Y-yeah, it wasn't that hard honestly.

Weiss: But why in the world did you make a plushie of me?

Jaune: *red* it's just. . .for when you're out y'know?. . . .so i wouldn't miss you as bad as I usually do.

Weiss: . . . .

Jaune: Weiss?

Weiss: *nosebleed* Yes?

Jaune: Are you okay?

Weiss: *wiping the blood* Of course I am. Now, i'm willing to overlook this, as long as you can make a plushie of yourself.

Jaune: Oh, I already did it. *Reaches under his bed and picks a jaune plushie* See?

Weiss: It's so adorable! Wait a second, why do you have a plushie of yourself?

Jaune: Oh, uhh. . .Well, I know you don't like being alone, so I made a plushie of me so when I'm with you, little weiss doesn't feel alone. *Sits them together and smiles* That way she has company too.

Weiss: . . . .would you excuse me for a second?

Jaune: Err, sure.

Weiss: *walks out the room*

Ruby: Oh, hey weiss! I imagined you would be he-

Weiss: *slams her head through the wall*

Ruby: !?!?!?

Weiss: *muffled* WHY DOES THAT DOLT HAVE TO BE SO STUPIDLY CUTE!?!?!? THIS MAN IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH IF ME I SWEAR!!!! *Removes her head from the hole and sighs* Do you need something ruby?

Ruby: *shaking* n-no. . .not really.

Weiss: Good, if you need me i'll be spending the afternoon with Jaune, little jaune and little me.

Ruby: Wha. . .?

Weiss: *walks back into JNPR's*

Ruby: . . . . .

Yang: Hey sis, did you find Ice- whoa, what's with the face? You look like you saw a ghost.

Ruby: . . . .yang?

Yang: What?

Ruby: Please promise me that you'll never let me fall in love.

Yang: ????

429 notes · View notes