#and has a change of heart and grows into a different person even if a lot of it is offscreen and/or glossed over
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Lost cause? 4: Can my happiness ever last?
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader
Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, makeout and kissing mentions, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks (TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+, This is purely a work of FICTION please take it as FICTION only. Therapy and psychological conversations. Tears, guilt, regret and hope maybe?
Word counts: 10.1k approx
Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you.
Authors note: Hello, my lovely readers, or should I call you all my bunnnnys? It sounds cute to me hehe, its a cute little name for my kooksbunnnn family, the readers who wait for me, love me, and read the stories I write. Thank you for waiting so patiently, ily guys. Here's chapter 4, I got a little carried away with words, hence the 10k 👉👈 sorry for the long wait once again, enjoy the chapter now. Bye-bye!
Previous chapter
___________________________________________
Seriously breathe louder Ross
You giggle watching an Instagram reel of a scene from friends where a pregnant Rachel snaps at Ross, who was just standing as you put another grape into your mouth from the container Jungkook packed for you with washed grapes.
As you scroll through the comments on the mentioned reel, you can't help but read some of the comments,
Comment: Rachel has such pretty hair.
True. You always wanted to try her hairstyles.
Comment: people should appreciate how the writers gave every female character a different kind of motherhood and different experiences, and it’s beautiful how they portrayed every feeling. Also, I can't imagine how one of them had a miscarriage in real.
Miscarriage. This word itself makes your body shiver with fear, and you immediately feel your throat get heavy. You shake your head at this and scroll further, not wanting to cry for the 6th time on the same day.
Comment: Being pregnant is a magical experience, sure, but it's a whole ass rollercoaster of emotions, and you won't be ready for the amount of mood swings that come with it.
Yea, No shit.
Comment: I love how Rachel had a character development nobody ever expected.
Mhm. True.
Comment: Can’t believe how they ended up together even after Ross cheated on her.
That got personal, guess it was time to delete Instagram.
Month 6 and a half, day 188 since that night and you’re surprisingly alive. The night your heart got broken and you didn't think you would make it through 2 months of life.
More like, you didn't think you could make it alone, without Jungkook. Technically? Yes, you couldn't live without seeing him or hearing him for the start of your pregnancy and now he is always around you.
Always around. Helping you sit, eat, drink, lie, puke, pee, and all this while being at his respectable distance from you.
“Cut yourself some slack, you're growing someone inside you. It's okay to be dependent while you're going through so much..” that's what your mom said when you asked her about your future and if it was a mistake going through with this.
Looking back to her advice from weeks ago you feel like you are being a little hard on yourself. Therapy. Sonograms. Lamaze classes, doctor appointments, morning-afternoon-evening sickness, hormones, mood swings, and whatnot. You feel excited for your baby to come into the world but would it be wrong if you said you were scared?
When you asked these questions to the people around you these were the answers:
Mom: “Yes honey, of course, it’s okay to be scared. Your life will change, and sometimes you feel like you won't know what you’re doing, but trust me having kids is a tiring but very beautiful experience.”
Dad: “Sweetie, it's completely normal. Your mom used to freak out a lot as well when she had you. We’re here for you, it's all gonna be okay.
Namjoon’s wife, Binna: “I have seen my sister go through it and I am gonna be honest, it is difficult and the delivery is gonna be tough but the results make it all worth it. I am so excited to start my family one day, too!”
Jin’s wife: “It's a little nerve-wracking, to be honest, but it's the best thing Y/N, trust me I have never cried harder than when I saw that my test results were not accurate, I was heartbroken. Trust me, this is the best thing that would happen to you.”
Namjoon, Jin, and Jimin in different words but similar contexts: “I don't know much about how you're feeling right now so I can't say I understand but trust me, I’ll be by your side and our dumb little brother’s side always. We’re a family, Y/N.”
Hobi and Taehyung came together while you and Jungkook were having dinner: We have seen our sisters and relatives go through pregnancy, and it honestly looks so overwhelming. We respect women more every day. We’re here always, just one call away.” They had said with smiles on their faces.
Yoongi: “I am not good with words or comforting people, Y/N, but I just wanna assure you that I am always here. All of us will be there for you both. It's not gonna be easy for you, mentally or body-wise, but never feel alone. You’re our family and always will be, no matter what.” He said, patting you like you were a kid while Jungkook sniffled sitting by your side in your sitting area.
The most common advice everyone gave was: Be easy with yourself, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You’re going through a lot.
And it was true. You and Jungkook have been working on your relationship’s progress ever since your first session, and somehow it was going pretty well. You had dinner together and he made sure he attended the sonography sessions and therapy sessions with you.
You had regular sessions together and Ms. Shin recommended you both try talking about the future ahead. No definite planning, just talking about the options.
Wall paints, cradles, toys, shopping, diaper brands, baby food, everything you could see in the future around your baby. Since the biggest reason for fixing your relationship was because of your baby, you needed to familiarize yourself sitting around talking about the little person gluing you both together.
So you both decided to have dinner together daily and decided to make a pre-baby diary while eating. Yes, it was Jungkook’s idea. It's been 8 days since the last therapy session and you have already listed the paint options for the baby’s room, went maternity clothes shopping with your husband and browsed some cradle options.
All was well, right?
On the outside, yes. In your ovaries? No.
♡♡♡
The lingering attraction you so badly tried to avoid for the past week is still lingering in the air around you. You roll your eyes as you feel embarrassment creep up your neck at how dumb you have been behaving around your husband.
You feel emotional, horny and everything at once. Absolutely mental.
“I don't think I am normal anymore.”
The therapist watches you utter the sentence with a manic like chuckle. She must be thinking you're insane. You notice how her hand freezes for a mini second and then continues to pass you the glass filled with water.
“My question, however, Mrs Jeon, was how did your weekend shopping go, but you can still go on. Why would you think such a thought?” Your therapist calmly asks you after waiting for your response to her earlier question for a good minute.
You finally take the glass of water in her hand stretched towards you after muttering a low ‘thankyou’.
After what happened with you and Jungkook and his damn damp hair, you were freaking out. One moment you were feeling like you could cry out of embarrassment but the next moment you wanted to make out with him in the kitchen while he wore his white dress shirt and those grey joggers you always loved.
Okay. You know this is weird, hence the embarrassment. Duh?! Earlier you weren't able to control the urges you felt, the mood swings, the craving, and now?! This fucking arousal.
You made an appointment with your doctor as soon as you woke up the following morning, hoping she would prescribe some pills or any kind of medications to reduce the arousal you felt but it didn’t help you much because there was no way of completely avoiding that.
The doctor didn’t suggest you take the pills that might’ve helped you because you already had a lot of mood swings and anxiety episodes, those pills could’ve worsened them. She makes sense, a lot of sense but only when you thought about it with a cool head.
But at that moment, while she was telling you all that? It's just safe to say you can grit your anger in between your teeth.
Now you were sitting in front of your therapist hoping she would help you reverse the psychology or something which would help you not feel horny for your husband.
‘Your husband who betrayed you and was now trying to make up for what he did which you were okay with and hoping for everything to be better one fucking day ago but now you feel like you wanna kiss him so badly it makes you dizzy’
It was like a mantra, hecheatedhecheatedhecheated, so that you don't pull him in to kiss the shit out of his cute little face.
When you say the same things you thought, your therapist nodded her head noting something down in her notepad. Maybe she thought you were mental.
“Mrs Jeon, I would suggest you control your sexual urges towards your husband by trying to remove yourself from the room he’s in. Considering he doesn’t sleep with you, but if he does-“ but you cut her sentence in the middle by whispering quickly in his defense.
“No-no he doesn't, he sleeps outside in the lobby.” You shake your head not making eye contact, feeling somehow guilty of your husband's daily discomfort.
“And it's completely okay, Mrs. Jeon, to have your space and have some distance. It doesn't make you a bad person.”
Damn, she is good. You need to give her great ratings. You look up at her and watch as she nods her head with a small smile making you feel at ease.
“Did you talk about this issue with Mr. Jeon?” She asks you, and you shake your head slightly. Why do you feel guilty, and what do you feel guilty of most importantly? Nodding to your reaction, she says, “Would you like to discuss why?”
“Would that even change anything?” You say with a huff a second after she finishes her sentence, frustration evident on your face.
Shrugging she says, “It might make things clearer..” her eyes slowly crinkled due to her hair falling in her eyes. Flicking it away she looks at you slightly tilting her head. “Isn't this what you chose, Mrs Jeon? Being honest is what your relationship needs at this point, isn’t it?
Sighing you realize how you might be running away from things, after all, you chose this journey. You both did and somehow you feel you might be turning into an obstacle towards a better family life, yourself.
Turning your head towards the plant in the room’s corner, you speak with a distant voice, “I don't know, All that I have gathered from the problems I have had in my life is that I could win any kind of battle if it were against my mind but if it's my heart I am fighting against? It's a fucking lost cause.”
“What do you think is the reason you would be fighting your heart, Mrs jeon?”
You scoff whipping your head towards her, eyes glistening. Digging your nails before saying what you feel just on the tip of your tongue,
“I love him.”
There's a pause, followed by your therapist humming.
“I love him so much I wanna forgive him and try to make things better but..”
“But..?”
Another pause. A suffocating one.
“I can't seem to do that to myself or my kid. What kind of an example would I be if I give in to something that's not right?!” After you notice how your expressions change into a frustrated scowl in the tiny mirror behind your therapist's head you feel your tears start to fall off.
“I am sorry.” You say sniffling and somehow embarrassed of your feelings taking over you.
“It's okay, Mrs. Jeon, here..” she offered you the tissue kept on her desk, and you wiped your tears chuckling at your situation.
You wince minutely when you reminisce how your last session went with Ms. Shin.
How did your life get to where it was? You have no absolute fucking clue.
♡♡♡
One moment you were crying because you can't forget the night he told you that he cheated on you and one moment you cried because you wanna hug him and then cry into his chest about how your hormones wanted you to kiss him but you can't because then you would cry about how you shouldn't be feeling like this about someone who betrayed you, then again you cry because you can't forget how he betrayed you.
It's like a frustrating cycle. A cycle you wanna throw off of a freaking dam to let it drown and maybe rust when the water starts to break the metal. Maybe that would help break it because there was no way in hell you could succeed in breaking it.
Not to mention how you have to pee every minute of the day and then crave pickles with some honey on them while sitting on the toilet seat.
Sounds tasty, right? Yeah, you shake your head in a quick no too as soon as you step outside and think how pickles would rather taste better with peanut butter on it.
As you deal with your tears and the spasmodic hand stomping on the pillow or table around you to let go of the kissy-kissy thoughts in your head, your husband stays clueless.
Not clueless about the hormones, na-ah.
Just the fact that you stare at him before you slap your hand on the table, or thump down the cup on the table too harshly for anyone to not notice. He tried to ask you if you felt okay. But ended up getting yelled at for not leaving you alone.
You once yelled at him for leaving the windows open which you asked to be left open, saying he should’ve known better when to close them.
This looks cute in shows and movies of how cute the mother-to-be looks yelling at a clueless husband but you on the other hand feel bad for making him feel actually at fault when he has been trying his best to make you feel comfortable.
What does he do after getting yelled at? He apologizes, does what you asked or yelled at him to do, and leaves. He still comes back and eats the dinner your mother made with you and your dad helping her out.
You feel terrible for how you are behaving around him, the worst part being that he takes everything you do and say to him without even reacting ever so slightly. You tried living life with him normally but you can’t forget the thought that lingers in the back of your head; that the favorite part of living your life with him was the affection, the touches.
It's frustrating to say the least that you haven't even hugged him in the last few months, you know that there is a reason behind the distance but since your mind tells you to create boundaries and try things again, your heart doesn’t understand how someone could try to make things better from a distance. Especially you and Jungkook.
He did everything according to how you needed without you telling him. Your childhood therapist once told you no matter how perfect a person tried to be there are certain situations where you can’t control the things the universe decides for you. She said that when you were having trouble accepting that you were the reason one of your ex-best friends changed schools, stating that you made her feel insecure. You had no idea.
So you accepted your fate, then and now as well. Doing things as they go in the flow. You had a discussion with your parents about how you are supposed to be having dinner with Jungkook as advised by your therapist so your mom and dad eat their dinner by 7 o’clock as advised by their doctors while you accompany them by having your soup or tea.
They thought it was a good idea so you agreed to do it.
By 9 o’clock or quarter to 9 Jungkook enters and you have your dinner and the discussion you are supposed to have about the baby.
It has been 15 minutes since your mom and dad went to their room after insisting on sitting with you while you wait for Jungkook to be back. You have your phone in your hand which starts to buzz with Jungkook’s name on the screen with the bunny emoji.
Picking up with a smile you answer to his voice.
God, you missed him.
Yep, you said it.
Picking up he seems like he is on the way and is trying to get his phone back from someone. “Hyung give me my phone back, hold his hands Yoongi hyung, hey-!” yes he was snatching his phone back.
You can hear a bunch of yelling noises in the background and you recognize the screaming voice immediately, Jimin. You shake your head at the chaos and smile putting a grape in your mouth.
“Hey, Y/N I am sorry I am a little late, I just wanted to ask if it's okay with me to bring Jimin and Yoongi Hyung over to your parent's house we have a bit of a situation on our hands.”
“Yeah, of course, kook, it's okay. Is everything okay though?”
Silence.
“Hello?”
“What did you call me?”
Your eyes widen at how you didn't even realize how normal this felt to you. You haven't called him Kook ever since you cried in his car after your first therapy session, always walking on eggshells.
“Y/N?”
Courage. Squeezing your fist and eyes shut you say,
“I called you k-kook. Is that not okay?”
Your leg starts to shake not knowing what to say next.
“No! Fuck, I mean it's more than okay. You know what? Let's not talk about it I don't wanna jinx it.” You can hear him smile and you can't help but widen your smile. It has been so long since you smiled this wide and you somehow feel better.
You repeat the words in your head, Don't feel guilty Y/N, go with it. Go with the flow. Cut yourself some slack. You’re going through a lot, be easy on yourself.
You smile and hear him chuckle before-
“Oh, no hyung not in my car ugh, we’ll be there in 5 minutes Y/N, I’ll reheat the food when I get there don't worry. Yoongi Hyung push his head out the window please-” And he hangs up.
Smiling at the chaotic phone call, you get up to check on your mom and dad if they are still up, wanting to tell them about the guests coming over. But since they were soundly asleep with the nightlights on, you switch them off, regulate the fan's speed, and take the phone from your sleeping-snoring mom’s hand plugging it to the charger and checking if they had water around them.
After checking up on your parents you close the door to their room and walk towards the kitchen to drink some water. Even the small activities could make a pregnant lady tired and the jug in your room was empty so you walked slowly towards the fridge. The pain getting better but still evident in your lower back which makes you put a hand on your back while you open the refrigerator.
Suddenly you spot a Harley bike model Jungkook gifted your father when he came home to meet your parents for the first time. Your father was really happy seeing the model, him being a Harley fan. If age didn't play a role in life your father would've still been traveling with your mom like those couples you saw in uni.
You remember how you and Jungkook loved to travel on his bike, you holding onto him as if your life depended on it, hair flowing from under the helmet and him accelerating the bike through the streets, hills, and empty roads leading to the cabin the whole group planned to visit during his and Namjoon’s collective birthday celebration.
Damn, you were so in love. Still are, and will probably always be.
The group has always been there for you, they're like the family you never knew you needed until they came into your life. The chaos was a part of your life, the screams, the teasing, the weekend game nights, the celebrations, movie nights which turned into everybody and their girlfriends crashing in the lobby on the mattresses Jungkook bought for the night stays.
You remember what the situation was when you met him for the first time six years ago.
♡♡♡
“Damnit Tae, jump outta here.” You argue with Taehyung as the three of you look out the window of your room.
“Fuck no. Are you mental? I’ll die if I jump out of here.” Taehyung says whisper yelling at your roommate, Aeri, who rolls her eyes at her dramatic “friend” panicking with wide eyes.
“No, you won't, don’t be dramatic.” You scoff as you push him slightly in the windows direction.
“It's a whole ass floor Y/N, the fuck is wrong with you?” He scowls at you as he regains balance panicking.
“Maybe we should call Jungkook.”
“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook with that loud-ass bike? Nice. Sneaking a boy out of our room with the help of another boy. Fan-fucking-tastic, Taehyung.” You clap two times with a straight face.
“Guys,” your friend giggles as she tries to focus on the main topic in the room, while Taehyung goes back to sit on your roommate’s bed.
“I think he is right, Y/N, we could at least get help from JK.”
“Mhm, help in getting kicked out.” You mumble not so quietly earning yourself a middle finger from Taehyung and an eyeroll from Aeri.
“Fine, do whatever you want.” You say rolling your eyes.
The thing was you were only partly nervous because of your forced eviction but also because you had never met Jungkook, the campus crush. More like the crush of every girl who saw him on his bike. You were not one of them, at least you wouldn't admit that but you wouldn't deny that he was a pretty face to look at and a very hot piece of ass to stare at. The proportions of that man were totally insane.
Tiny waist, big- biteable chest, broad shoulders, thick thighs, luscious hair locks, biceps people could hang on, the all-black outfit, and the very contrasting facial features. If he wore a helmet people wouldn't imagine how the guy had big doe boba eyes and a cute mole under his lips, skin better than half of the girls who spent so much on products. He always had that glint in his eyes making him seem so innocent, innocent but with a physique that can crush people.
You never talked to him so you don't know how he sounds or if he is a rude person. You just know he is Taehyung’s friend whom he hangs out with around the campus.
While you thought about how Jungkook might or might not be your crush, Taehyung called him and you all got up to sneak him out of the house.
“Wait you don't need to come if you don't want to Y/N,” Aera said after looking around the hallways and telling Taehyung to tiptoe downstairs since her aunt’s room was on the same floor as yours.
“H-Huh? N-no I wanna go as well. So that if she wakes up I can tell her we both went out to get some fresh air while the guys ran away y-you know? “
You said. Terrible at lying. You wanted to see the man coming to save his friend.
Your friend was in a hurry sneaking her fuck buddy out so she didn't pay attention to what you said and how you said it. A total stuttering mess.
Walking out of the house you never imagined him to be so..so..so tasty. Thats the only words that come to your mind. He parked his bike at a safe distance because of how much noise it made and approached you guys.
The image in your hand was like the 480p version of how beautiful and ethereal he was but in reality, he had tattoos. Tattoos! Not even a small one, a whole arm that stretched inside his white sleeveless tee.
You thanked the cloth gods for making this particular article of clothing because you needed to see how hot men you would want to eat up looked in it.
“Told you, you would need my help.” He smirks as Taehyung walks past him only turning around to come back and give Aera a quick kiss and then running away again, making her blush.
“Run dumbass, their landlord would skewer us on her cane,” Taehyung says and you chuckle at how exaggerated he made Aera’s aunt sound. At your chuckle, Jungkook looks at you and you pause mid-laugh when you notice him looking at you.
“Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He extends his hand towards you and you blush not knowing how to respond to his raspy voice.
“Yeah, I know you.” You say staring at him with heat on your cheeks and immediately kick yourself mentally.
You sound like a fucking creep. I know you? seriously?
He smiles, “..and you are..?
“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to be rude I’m Y/N, Hi heh.” You extend your hand to shake his and he whispers your name under his breath eyes still looking into yours.
“Hi Y/N, you’re very pretty.” While he rubs his thumb on your already heating skin making it burst into flames as he rubs it again.
“Kook!” Taehyung yells and you break the eye contact, taking your hand back.
“It's okay don't be sorry, I didn't find you rude rather, I found you cute.” He says as you look at him again. You think it was an imagination of your beauty-struck head or maybe it was due to dark but..did he just check you out?
You give him a confused look at what he said, making him chuckle. He sounds so deliciously hot and raspy. God.
“That you know who I am, considering how you’re always in the art studio. I found it cute.” He says with a smile leaning slightly towards your face and you lean back at the same time he leans in. He stays towering over you and maybe notices your expressions. You just hope he didn't notice how red your cheeks might be.
Does he know about the art studio? Only people close to you knew about it.
Seeing your wide eyes, he straightens up to his original height and chuckles. He sounds so good, it reaches inside you and you knew that you were fucked.
“Kook?” You didn't even notice when Taehyung came back to drag his friend back. Slapping his shoulder and then sprinting towards the bike again.
“Kook, let's go. She switched on some kind of light in her room oh god. She’ll beat your and my asses collectively.” Taehyung yells waving his friends over.
“Hey we’re gonna be in the beat party as well, Y/N lets go,” Aera speaks from the driveway of her aunt's house, slowly retrieving her steps.
But you were stuck. Stuck on how his bunny teeth played with the piercing on his lips. Not being able to bear eye contact with him, you flicked your eyes away.
When Taehyung yelled again from a distance, Jungkook responded with a ‘yea yea coming’ while stepping backward with his white sleeveless tee sticking to his body.
Generally, you didn't like summers but you were so glad it was hot enough that he decided to wear a sleeveless outfit, for you to ogle his tattoos.
Taehyung and Aera are already away from the both of you, Taehyung at a safer distance from the house and Aera still waiting for you at the house hoping her aunt just woke up for her nightly washroom trips and didn't see you guys with these beautiful men.
With a smile on his face, he stepped back facing you. Clicking his tongue twice to get your attention, you looked at him to immediately regret locking eyes with him. He winked at you and said, “See you around, sweetheart.”
You swear you saw his eyes flitting to your lips and then to your skirt that was flowing with the slight wind in the surroundings before he turned around and ran towards his panicking friend.
You knew he was casually flirting and was out of your league. And since you didn't believe your luck would suddenly turn out to be on your side you didn't think of his wink as something more than something casual.
But goddamnit, the crush you never admitted to, was finally admitted in your heart.
♡♡♡
You smile as you pick the model in your hand at the fond memories of how you tried so hard to remain just friends with the guy even though he hung out with you daily, accompanied you in your art studio confirming he knew about you before meeting you. You never knew your friendship could be more than what it was but maybe growing up and getting jobs made you want to prioritize yourself and your wants, so you decided to tell him how you felt but he beat you to it three days before you planned on confessing.
“Sorry sweetheart, wanted to kiss you as my girlfriend on Valentine's Day without the fear of rejection in the back of my brain.” That's what he said before he kissed the living daylights out of you on the gazebo at your favorite park.
You smile remembering how he took you to the park saying the cherry blossoms were blooming early that year, you believed him nodding with excitement and you went along with him running and holding hands. Reaching there you were sad that no blossoms were blooming but then he gave you the promise ring he ordered from the vintage store you loved so much. You knew it cost him a lot but when you asked him about it he just chuckled deeply avoiding that question and before you could pick that topic again he kneeled on one knee and asked you to be his girlfriend officially.
You smile at the memories and keep the bike model back on the shelf, the flashback coming to a halt as you come back to the living room when your phone buzzes with your husband's name on it.
He didn't ring the doorbell nowadays to be cautious in case your parents were asleep. So you went to the door and opened it already expecting Jimin leaning on Jungkook’s shoulders while Yoongi just snickered at his younger brother, seeming unconscious but Jimin was very much awake, also very very drunk as he clung to Yoongi telling him everything was going to be okay. Jungkook held three bags as he gave you a sheepish smile at his Hyungs’ behavior.
“Yes, Yes, Jimin. It's gonna be okay.” Yoongi held Jimin very firmly while giving you a small smile before asking where to put him so that he could blubber nonsense somewhere your neighbors wouldn't hear.
Jungkook chuckles and leads them to the guest room while muttering a ‘hi’, looking at you from head to toe as if checking if you had any injuries.
“Hi,” you whisper, enough for him to catch your voice.
“How was your day?” You ask trying to take the bags from his hand but he tilts his body giving you a look that says ‘Really?’.
Sighing with a smile, you close the door and follow him inside.
“It was good- Oh shit the guest room door is locked. Wait hyung let me get the key” he put the bags on the counter while a grunting Yoongi held a wobbly Jimin in his hands.
“Wow realized it so soon,” Yoongi says sarcastically l as Jimin looks at you with a smile on his face. Gasping dramatically, he removes himself from his brother's shoulders and comes towards you, slightly tilted, but he somehow reaches you.
“I can see your baby.” Your eyes widen at what he said and you scoff a laugh as Jimin kneels down in front of your belly.
“He means you’re showing, and he is noticing that now, only, he sounds creepy as fuck.” Yoongi walks back to the sofa and sits down with a long sigh.
“May I please?” He says as hovers his hands over your belly with big puppy eyes and you chuckle at how patiently he wants you to answer.
“Yes, Jimin you may.” You say with a laugh and he whispers to your tummy hovering his hand above it like it's a crystal ball.
“Hi tiny person, I am Jimin, your godfather..” he giggles at the end of his sentence while you hear Yoongi chuckle from the couch.
“The fuck? When did we decide that hyung?” Jungkook stands next to you with keys hanging from his fingers, narrowed gaze focused on his elder brother.
“Shhhhhh” Jimin shushes Jungkook loudly almost spitting on your belly. You laugh as he looks pointedly at Jungkook.
“You don’t get to decide that. Dumbass.” Jimin slurs out and tries to get up grabbing the trousers Jungkook wore, almost making him fall over with his weight.
“Hyung, fuck you’re heavy when drunk.”
“I fucking know right? I don’t know how that happens..” Yoongi mumbles typing something on his phone, stretching his neck sideways to pop the strained muscle.
Jungkook stumbles while you also try to help him balance Jimin by bending slightly to keep a hand on his shoulders, but then you remove it as Jungkook whispers ‘I got him I got him’ assuringly not wanting you to take any strain.
Smiling to yourself you walk over to the couch adjacent to where Yoongi was sitting, asking if he needed water or anything like that.
“Nah I’m good. Thanks.” He waves his hand as he keeps his phone aside watching how Jungkook manages to drag Jimin back.
“...You’ll look good in a tutu as well..” Jimin says to Jungkook poking a finger to his sides continuously. “You know a white one with stars on it, I’ll gift it to the baby so that you can match your outfits then” Jungkook rolls his eyes in annoyance as Jimin’s voice fades into the guest room Jungkook opens for him to sleep in.
“Let me go check up on him yeah?” Yoongi says softly getting up from the couch, picking up a banana on the way to the guest room. Raising one of his brows and the fruit in the air as if asking for permission to eat it. You tilt your head with narrowed eyes passing on the message, ‘You have to ask?’
He smiles slightly shrugging and heads towards the guest room while pealing the banana.
“Jungkook, is he under control now or still wobbly- oh, fuck no-“ Yoongi asks from outside of the room but then pauses in his tracks as you hear Jungkook whine slightly out of disgust and you immediately get up feeling a slight ache in your lower back due to the hurry.
“Is everything okay?” You ask concern evident in your eyes.
Yoongi chuckles and moves away from the door, shaking his head. “Not gonna eat this now, sorry, Y/N.” He says, still laughing.
“Oh no did he-“Before you could say something Jungkook stomps his way out of the guest room and you immediately feel nausea entering you seeing your husband's sleeve covered in vomit.
“Hyung could you please help me heat the food? I’m gonna go take a shower, sorry hyungie just please-“ he continues walking towards the common bathroom at the end of the hall.
“Sure” Yoongi chuckles moving towards the fridge.
“I’ll help you..” you take a step towards the crockery cupboard.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll do it, you sit.” He says pausing you midway.
“No Yoongi lemme help..” you say but he just points the small spoon towards the island chair.
“It's okay Y/N I’ll do it.” He says nodding while opening the Tupperware filled with the various side dishes and the tofu-miso stew.
“I just don't wanna trouble you Yoongi, thanks though.” You say giving up on offering help as he heats the food one by one in the microwave.
“Oh it's not for free, I am taking the godfather’s title in exchange for this.” He smirks glancing at the room Jimin slept in.
“Yeah okay, try beating Jimin for the title. You chuckle looking in the same direction for a second and then at the man heating up the food. While he just gives you a small laugh while warming up the rice in the cooker, mumbling, “We’ll see who wins.”
You smile and pat your feet on the ground in a rhythm as Yoongi places the food on the kitchen island. You feel guilty for making him do this but he has already rejected your help three times so there was no point in arguing over it.
“Y/N?” Yoongi whispers looking at a plate in his hand.
“Yea?”
“I know it's none of my business and I should not even say something about this but can I just say it's really nice that you’re trying again?” He says lifting his head to look at your reaction to what he said.
You feel yourself freeze, this is the first time you had a conversation about your situation with Jungkook, the cheating, and the decision to try again. You sure talked about the pregnancy and yes there was always that lingering awkwardness in the air but this was new.
“Yea..” you sigh looking at your lap for a second and then lifting your head to give him a soft smile.
“Not everyone is lucky enough to get a chance to revive their relationship.” He says still looking at the plate while tracing the pattern on it with his index finger.
You know that his relationship ended badly, you knew how much he loved his girlfriend, you know he acts like it's okay but his dark circles tell another story, you know he looks thin and exhausted all the time but acts like it's nothing.
You know it's not nothing.
“Yoongi, I am sorry about-“But before you could finish your sentence he laughs almost in pain.
“It's okay Y/N, it's done, she is gone. She is happy without me and I can't change that.” He says and you feel your heart break at how small he sounds.
“It sucks but it's true.” He says softly, half to you half to himself, still trying to process his grief over the relationship he lost. After an uncomfortable pause, he continues.
“I saw him Y/N,” he points his chin in the direction of the washroom Jungkook was taking a shower in when you look at him confused at the change of topic.
“..and don't think I am taking his side 'cause he is like a brother to me but I say this honestly, he was devastated while he was away from you.” You just stare at him with eyes round and wide not expecting this conversation to go this way.
“He forgot to eat and sleep, just kept asking Jin Hyung and me if we saw you or if any other of guys saw you.” He says while you look at him nervously talking about the topic, picking his nails.
“Do you remember the time you were at the hospital due to your abdominal pain?” You nod at his question feeling your throat tighten up uncomfortably so you divert your gaze down at the plate with little blue flowers printed on the ceramic.
“He ran to the hospital since his car was still parked at your previous address.” Your eyes widen and you whip your head toward the man standing in front of you.
What does he mean he ran?
“What?” You whisper.
“Taehyung had a night shift and he was alone at the apartment. I tried to tell him to wait for me to pick him up when he called to ask if Taehyung left office or not, but he just hung up saying it would take too long.”
“So he ran to you.” You feel your throat tighten as humanly possible, eyes burning.
Wasn’t Taehyung’s house almost double times the way compared to your route connecting your house to the hospital? You can't even comprehend how he felt when you didn't even talk to him that day.
Shouldn’t you feel like he deserved to feel like that? Shouldn't you say that he did that to himself? That was what you should've said right? But your heart thumps harder every second making your eyes spill the tears gathering in them.
You remember Jungkook was really out of breath and was also wearing different slippers that day.
“Since it was pretty late, he couldn't even book a cab quickly..” Yoongi looks at you and notices how your gaze is zeroed onto him and immediately understands your expressions.
“Hey, I am not trying to make you feel bad or something like that, what he did and what you guys decided is totally none of my business but I just wanted to tell you that giving a second chance is not easy and I really wish things work out for your relationship. I really appreciate you both working through so much stress you know? I can see what his vision meant when he wanted to quit last month.”
“What?” You whisper
“No no, he doesn't want to quit now, I mean after what you both decided Namjoon talked to Mr. Park and handled it..” when Yoongi doesn’t see you respond to whatever he said he realizes that you look lost.
“You don't know, do you?”
“Don't know what?” You whisper again, heart racing. Why do you feel you're not gonna like what he is gonna say?
There is a pause, a very uncomfortable pause. He visibly scans your face and inhales sharply as if deciding against or in favor of telling you about the whole situation.
You clench your pajama pants into your fists as your hand rests on your lap. The kitchen felt stuffy all of a sudden. This might seem like an overreaction but your body feels defensive all of a sudden, deciding between running away or ripping the bandaid off.
Deciding on the latter you ask,
“Yoongi, please tell me?” You request softly and at your almost inaudible request, Yoongi sighs, giving up. He shuts his eyes for a second and then looks up smiling sadly at you.
You hold your breath.
“Um, he was promoted to be the next VP of the agency, and uh..” he rubs the back of his neck looking away, avoiding the eye contact with you.
“And he rejected it?” You whisper and Yoongi nods, still not looking at you.
“The job required him to give more time into his job, more hours away from home. From you and her.” He looks at you and then points his chin in your tummy’s direction.
“So when they told him the details about the hours and the business trips, he immediately refused. Since he was the most eligible person for the job, the CEO, Mr Park..” he says,
“Mr. Park.” You say at the same time nodding.
“Yes, Mr. Park tried convincing him saying he’ll adjust according to your due date and whatever changes Kook would want to his schedule but this kid..” Yoongi chuckles shaking his head, “..rejected it, saying if he had to quit the job he would do it but he would not add onto whatever hours he was working.”
“Then suddenly..” Yoongi picks up a tangerine from the fruit bowl and starts peeling it.
“He came up with an idea of actually quitting in order to give more time to you and your child, so when Namjoon said and I quote, ‘Y/N is gonna kill you if you do that, she knows how much you worked for this’ Jungkook said that you both decided mutually that rejecting the promotion was okay and you were okay with whatever he decided about his job. Which…looking at you right now doesn't seem like it.” Yoongi looks at you with a hesitant expression, offering you the peeled fruit.
You feel your ears heat up and not out of good reason, you are actually mad at him. You were hearing all of this for the first time and you can't believe he backed off from the job he got offered after working so hard. The reason he used to work his ass off, extra time, no holidays, always punctual, not caring about his meals and whatnot, and then just fucking backed off?
"When was this?" You say gritting your teeth, eyes glistening with angry tears, eyes still on Yoongi.
You take the piece of fruit from his hand and shove it in your mouth, eyes red with tears in them.
“Y/N..”
“Why didn't he tell me? And wait a minute he said it was a mutual decision?! What the hell?”
“Y/N, he must have had a reason for saying so, he did explain the reasons and it sounded like he gave it a lot of thought. “
“Don’t you mean WE gave it a lot of thought? hah.” You say chuckling bitterly, swallowing the fruit, your hand going through your hair in frustration as you face the direction where your husband showers unaware of the angry volcano on the other side of the bathroom door.
“What the hell is wrong with him?!” You almost scream but lower your voice remembering your parents are asleep, immediately looking around warily and Yoongi does the same, with similar expressions on his face.
“Sorry, I just feel so mad right now.” You say squeezing your eyes shut, speaking through your teeth.
“I guess you should talk to him,” he says looking at you softly.
“You’re damn right I will-“ you say
“But not now, privately, okay?”
You look at him breathing heavily, cheeks wet with tears, his eyes pleading to not lose your calm immediately. You look at his anger and countless emotions swirling in your mind, nose flaring.
“Ah, okay fine.” You say throwing your hands in frustration, coming back to wipe the tears off your cheeks.
The next few minutes Yoongi tried not to talk about anything and you just swirled your spoon in the spoon Yoongi served for you. He constantly made sure you were sipping the soup, giving you water, and peeling another tangerine for you.
He almost sighed in relief when the bathroom door clicked open and Jungkook came out of the washroom. The steam rushed out of the white-tiled space along with a drippy Jungkook and a goddamned towel around his waist.
You feel madder now. Is that even a word? You don't care because that's how you feel. Madder.
Remember when you said how your emotions were on a roll these days? Yea. It was an understatement because the moment you saw your husband with that damned towel hanging low on his hips your anger turned into angry horniness, you wished, only for a second, but wished Yoongi wasn't here so that you could straddle the half-naked guy and ask him about the stupid decision he made.
Although Jungkook had immediately rushed into the room to get some clothes on him it was enough to make your ovaries light up on fire. You're mad and horny, two things that don't go well for you. Especially not in this state.
"Hey guys I am sorry, I had to wash off all that puke stench. Why didn't you guys start eating yet?"
"I don't know maybe you took very long to shower." You snap at your husband and he freezes in his tracks to get the plate.
"Y/N, I was there for only 10 mins."
“I don't know, felt like 10 years."aAt your tone Jungkook looks at you concerned and then at Yoongi who watches awkwardly, the whole scene unfolding in front of him.
"Guys you know what I think I am gonna head home, I have eaten with Jimin earlier and need sleep."
“No- yoongi eat please-“ you request feeling guilty for making him awkward.
“Yes hyung, please finish your dinner.” Jungkook says, looking at his hyung but then flicking his gaze back at you.
“No no its really okay.” Yoongi says, already walking away from the island.
"Okay, hyung." He says after a second his eyes wandering back to you observing your sour mood. Eyebrows furrowed with thought while you just chewed on the rice mixed with the curry not looking at Jungkook after waving to Yoongi.
Yoongi walks towards the doorway with slow steps, the footsteps echoing along with the tinkled spoon made inside the curry bowl. He grabs the keys and walks towards the two of you, giving you a nod and patting Jungkook’s back.
"Take care Y/N and you too, kook." He stares two seconds longer at the younger male and then nods at him. Jungkook gets up halfway to which Yoongi waves in a signal for Jungkook to not bother seeing him off.
The door clicks shut leaving you and Jungkook in silence.
"Y/N wha-"
"Eat, Jungkook."
At your stern tone, Jungkook flinches and just resumes eating in silence. Silence for almost 10 minutes. 10 slow and irritating minutes. It was like the clock ticked 10 seconds forward and then 40 seconds backward. The silence added to the awkwardness you both felt, making the time more unbearable.
Again, did you mention slow?
All the thoughts come back to your mind, every emotion holding your neck in a chokehold, everything that you’ve felt since the day started comes back. The conversation with your mom about how she asked you if you wanted to move back in with ever, you thought your mom wanted you to leave so you cried. All the emotions you felt then catching up to you.
The thoughts of being alone with him made you happy and cry at the same time in the afternoon while you finished working on the report your seniors asked you to finish before your leave started. You feel all the emotions you felt while rewatching the notebook in the evening before dinner. You feel all the emotions at once, those emotions which you felt when Jungkook called you from his car and, also when he called you from his office to check if you had your medicine.
The emotions of frustration and anger when Yoongi told you about the job offer and how your husband rejected it. The thoughts about something bad happening to your child come back and make your head dizzy. It's too much at the same time. You're happy that he is eating his food in silence because if he did say anything before you finish, you might actually run to the bathroom to vomit all of your emotions.
After minutes of frustration and anger and sadness and silence, you finally got up and almost threw the plate in the sink, Jungkook tried to get your plate but you just brushed past him huffing finally making Jungkook ask you the question you didn't want to hear and hear at the same time.
You wanted to talk to him about the whole thing and didn't at the same time. You were on an emotional rollercoaster, and Jungkook was gonna be the bird that hit the coaster blades, getting hurt.
"Y/N did I do something wrong?"
"Oh, do you do anything right these days Jungkook? I don't think so." You chuckle throwing the glass of water into the sink thankfully not breaking it.
Turning towards your husband, you immediately regret saying what you said because he just looks like a kicked puppy. Big eyes filled with gloss, nose red, and wobbly chin. His features make you feel like the worst human being on this planet.
"Y/N, I am sorry for whatever it is but can you tell me what's wrong?" He whispers looking- no, pleading with his eyes as you stand like a wall in front of him.
"You tell me, did you do anything to make me feel stupid and pathetic recently?" You say pointedly. Venom. Pure venom.
"Baby.."
"Don’t. Don't call me that." You say firmly.
"Shit- I am sorry Y/N please tell me what happened..wait-" You push yourself away from the counter instantly feeling the pain in your lower back.
“Bab- Y/N wait.” He rushes to your side holding one of your hands and one holding your waist, giving you support but somehow his touch stings, in the best way. You hate your mind and heart. You just hate it.
“No, I can walk myself I am not a toddler.” He doesn't let go of your hand even though you tell him to, he helps you walk towards your room. You try to tell him that you can walk alone but he doesn't listen instead he just hums or mutters 'I know' and it infuriates you more.
Why isn’t he saying anything? You’re literally acting like a spoiled kid right now.
Opening the door he walks you inside the room and helps you sit on the bed. As you take heavy breaths placing a hand on your chest you feel how rapidly your heart raced.
Removing the lid of the glass sitting on your nightstand, he helps you sip some of the liquid. You feel tears in your eyes and when he removes the glass from your lips he just smiles sadly at you and wipes the tears from your face with his thumb.
Leaning into his touch you say, "Why are you okay with me being like this to you?"
Okay, that's a dumb question ask Jeon Y/N, you're mad at him but just looking at him you feel like you are treating him like shit for something he doesn't deserve. Of course, he cheated on you, of course, you want to not love him because of that, and of course, your heart aches when you think of the betrayal but can you ever unlove him? Can you ever hurt him knowing you're gonna hurt him and not feel bad? Can you ever just look at him and feel nothing for him? Can you ever not love him?
Your head feels buzzed and when he speaks and your anger explodes.
"I deserve it, baby." You scrunch his t-shirt in your hand and pull him towards you, making him almost fall on you but he regains his balance by placing one of his hands on the comforter. With wide eyes, he just stares at you and the way your eyes brim with fresh tears. He tilts his head as if feeling guilty for the tears but you don't let him say anything.
"Why?" At this he looks at you confused.
The other tattooed hand finds its way on top of your wrist holding his t-shirt and you feel your sanity fly away for a second but at his confused expression, you feel your anger come back.
"Y/N what-" he sputters with big eyes
"Why did you reject the job offer?" you finally say.
Pin. Drop. Silence.
"What?" he breathes out.
"You think you can make that big of a decision by yourself? " you say sniffling.
"How did you-"
"How did I know? How about, why didn't I know?" You raise your voice slightly and he shuts the door so that your parents don't get their sleep interrupted, tilting slightly towards the entrance, your bed not being that far from the door.
"Y/N I am sorr-" you cut him off mid sentence.
"Sorry? How many things are gonna be okay just because you apologize Jungkook?! It was your dream, you worked so hard for it.." you say feeling tears spill out of your eyes and when he just looks down at your lap with his lips twisted in a straight line guiltily, you can't help but yell at him a bit, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
You didn't realize when your hand shifted from the t-shirt's neckline to his neck. You realize that only when his eyes shut for a second at the feeling of your hands on his face, the other hand coming to sit on top of the comforter on the other side of your body. Holding onto his face you asked him the question with big teary eyes, wet cheeks, and a wobbly chin.
"Tell me, kook?"
Sighing he answers, "Baby, they wanted me to go away."
"Don't lie to me, Jungkook, please. Yoongi told me they were ready to fix the schedule according to you -"
"And you think they were gonna do that for me forever?" He asks.
"Why did you say that I agreed then? Why did you lie? Why didn't you come talk to me? Do you think I wouldn't have understood or that you think it's not important for me to know?"
"Would you have let me quit if I wanted to?" He asked instantly.
You pause. Dammit.
"You see? That's why I didn't tell you. You're already handling so many responsibilities, I didn't wanna worry you more." He says, eyes turning soft.
You look at him. Eyes looking at him trying to find dishonesty, the thing was, Jungkook doesn't lie. Even after he did what he did, he came out to you truthfully. It hurt but you're where you are because he was honest. It's the bare minimum, honesty, but its rare. At least in your experience. But not with Jungkook. He can't lie.
"They were willing to change my schedule for me only until she is born.." he says looking at your tummy and then lifting his eyes to look at you.
"..I can't risk being away from you again. It might sound like I am lying but Y/N, baby, I don't wanna be away from you even for a single second. I wanna prove myself to be worthy of a second chance. I wanna be worthy of you and her. I can’t imagine my life even for a second without you or her. You can push me all you want, you can yell at me all you want but don't tell me that I should've chosen a job and not my family. I know I don’t have an answer for why I did what.." he pauses gulps and continues.
"...I did, I myself don't know why I did it, and trust me if I could turn back the time I would. But baby..." he puts his hand on yours that is resting on his cheek waiting for a second, barely visible, but he waits for some kind of negative reaction to him touching you. When he senses none, he continues,
"...I love you, and I will love you for my whole life, I will love you and my family until I breathe. I am so sorry for fucking things up but I want to fix them, I can fix them, we will fix it. Just don't please.." he squeezes his eyes shut slightly squeezing your hand as well.
"... don't ask me to go away from you. I can't live away from you. I would quit my job if that's what it takes to be with my family, to take care of my family, to take care of you, and to take care of us. Please tell me I can be with you, can you please tell me you don’t want me to go away? Pleas- “
You tell him exactly that, but not verbally because wasn’t it ironic how he feels sorry for not knowing why he did what he did when you don't even think of any second thoughts before you do what you do, without knowing why.
Lips crashing on his, you shut him up with an answer you feel him absorbing inside him. He freezes when you kiss him, his breath stuttering when you move your lips against him. You squeeze his t-shirt in desperate need, and you feel him flutter his eyelids against your cheekbones, your tears mixing with his, and he kisses you back.
Does it last? Does your happiness last? No.
As soon as he moves his lips, you hear him sniffle and break the kiss. His eyes are still red, and his cheeks are slightly wet as well. He sniffles again, but the only sound you can hear is your heartbreaking because he moves away.
Away from the bed. Away from the comforter. Away from the kiss. Away from you.
He gets up and takes a step back, shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut. He curses under his breath as if regaining his composure while you just stare at the space where he was sitting earlier.
“I- I am sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't, I can't. I am really sorry, I shouldn't. I just shouldn't. I am sorry.”
And he leaves the room, shutting the door, not completely but leaving it slightly ajar. It's just like he does always. You hear the kitchen tap opening. He probably is doing the dishes. You hear everything from outside the door, but you feel like there's radio silence in your room.
A low beep-like sound ringing in your ears, embarrassment? Hurt? Love? Anger? Betrayal? Pain? Need? Desire? You feel so much at once, and you don't know what to do with it. This is getting so much more fucked and somehow you both find new ways to make this way tougher than anyone can imagine.
After some time, you hear the lights outside click off, and you can't help but wish he came to you. He does, but only to keep a fresh glass of water on the nightstand. He wishes you good night in a whisper, glancing once at your face and then,
...leaves.
Well, shit.
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#lost cause#bts fic#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#bts one shot#bts drabble#bts fanfction#bangtan sonyeondan#bts au#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook drabble#jeon jungkook x you#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook imagine#jungkook series#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook x yn#jungkook x you#jungkook#jeon jungguk#bts jungkook#bts angst#jungkook angst#jungkook and reader#bts fanfiction#bts fic recs#bts
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Here is the prologue to one of my upcoming Fanfics!! (Not the one I was previously talking about) Tell me if you guys like it!!
The searing pain of corruption tearing through his skin was enough to make Chuuya cry, but he could only watch helplessly as he resigned complete control to the god living inside him. A scream ripped his throat, the first and only word he ever had at a time like this was his ex-partner’s – Dazai.
No, something was different. But what was it?
Chuuya has grown accustomed to this hell he has to endure on these rare cases, except something felt off. Different. Change was never good in these situations – or even when it came to Chuuya as a person. Change had only ever bought him pain and suffering. The burn he felt as his own flesh split in half along with his bones was so different yet familiar. Unwanted memories of the past threatened to slip past the carefully built wall Chuuya has made sure stood tall and proud, not to let any more pain make it’s way into his heart.
Time was running out. Fast. He could feel Arahabaki grow more unhinged by the second. He could feel the taste of metal spilling out of mouth – eugh, gross. If only he had control to wipe it off his mouth. Something as simple as wiping blood off his mouth isn’t possible, just how pathetic was he? –
– The feeling of No Longer Human ran throughout his entire body, taking back any kind of control Arahabaki has over him. Not even five seconds out of corruption and he already felt horrible. More than he usually would. Chuuya could faintly hear someone’s voice.. Dazai’s maybe? He couldn’t tell, his ears were ringing. So loud. Make it stop. It’s so loud. Make it stop – please
Whoever was screaming out his name needed to quiet down, why do they sound so scared? … Pah, he’s too tired to figure out why. He just needed a quick nap then he’ll be fine..
#soukoku#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bsd stormbringer#dazai x chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungou sd#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanfic#fanfic#bsd#bsd anime#bsd manga
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sorry notsorry for ada posting i just keep thinking abt how when leon's under the influence of the plagas and tries to kill her it's the first time she's ever seemed genuinely scared in a resident evil game/movie (that i have seen) (i have not seen re6 yet to be fair). usually even if she's in a not great position, she feels like she has everything completely under control. she wasn't nearly this scared when she was injured and unable to walk in re2r, or when she was hanging out over the void with only leon to hold onto. it's so interesting because she barely seems to lose her cool but after that happens? she's so freaked out! she's visibly ruffled! she's like oh yeah let's split up (as though they were ever together enough that game to call that splitting up). she recovered just fine especially once it was clear leon was no longer hosting a plagas but MAN she was out of there so fast. i'm putting her on a slide under my microscope and taking notes.
#zanna talks#resident evil#its kinda wild to me bc as a character ada kind of...doesnt change. at all.#like she clearly cares abt leon dont get me wrong but not enough to actually change for him. her character development is stagnant at best#and nonexistent at worst over the course of the RE games and movies#(and here is where i could go on a really interesting tangent about how mia is like a version of ada who goes through a lot of development#and has a change of heart and grows into a different person even if a lot of it is offscreen and/or glossed over#but i will not bc that would lead to another tangent about the fandom loving ada but hating mia and well hm Inch Resting)#but anyway. its fascinating to see bc its a different part of ada from what we usually see#even just to see her scared of leon. its a change in the status quo. very very cool.
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STALKING , IMPLIED KIDNAPPING.
soft yandere classmate having first met you as he bumps into you in one of the school's hallways. you had your head down, your voice too soft and quiet that he didn't hear you apologizing to him before you quickly removed yourself from the situation, steering away from everyone like a plague so you won't bump into them.
soft yandere classmate who learned that you two were actually on the same class, sitting in front of you after the teacher chose your designated seats. he took one glance at you as he looked over his shoulders, and already sees you looking down again, avoiding making eye contact with anyone as you traced your finger around the wooden desk. though you tried to keep a stoic face, he could see how anxious you are through the way you would shake your leg while sitting.
soft yandere classmate who catches the way your face dropped in his peripheral vision as the teacher gives an activity that requires drawing, and it's quite obvious that you must have forgotten to bring it with you. but you were too shy, too scared to ask for help. he couldn't help it, and quietly lend you a pencil. it was his only pencil too, earning him a zero on his worksheet. but somehow, he knew it was worth it.
soft yandere classmate who helps you in small, different ways during classes especially when the teachers asked questions. he would moved a little and raised his hand, blocking you from the teacher's view so they won't have to pick you, knowing that even if you do know the answer, you'll simply be too nervous to give an answer and might just end up there standing awkwardly, waiting for the ground to swallow you whole as everyone anticipates in silence. the whole scenario will be too much for someone like you.
soft yandere classmate who turns around and sits backwards on his chair to attempt to engage in a conversation with you. it was definitely difficult at first, your voice being so quiet that he sometimes have you repeat what you just said, his heart a little heavy when he does so. it will definitely take a while to have you grow comfortable around him, but when you attempted to make a small joke one day, his eyes lit up, knowing that he's making progress.
he instantly shuts down any bullying from your classmates. they don't try to approach you anymore, but they also don't try bothering befriending you. this extends to everyone outside of your school, subtly threatening anyone who makes you even the slightest bit of uncomfortable, glaring at the person who's taking your order as he stands in front of you when you kept stuttering, trying to make them hear what your order is after they had you restate it a couple of times despite you trying your hardest to raise your voice.
although he is making progress in your slowburn friendship, you two are still not quite close yet that you'd try to initiate a conversation with him. it has to be him who talks to you first or you won't be talking to him at all. soft yandere classmate wanted to change that without having to force you.
soft yandere classmate who found you one day underneath a bridge. worried, he stayed to find out what were you doing on such a place, eyes darkening at the thought of a bully forcing you to come here even after he's made it loud and clear for everyone about the consequences, only to see you crouching down in front of a small opened box with a tiny cute kitten on the inside, meowing softly upon seeing you.
he could feel his heart melting as he watched you interact with it, your usually aloof face covered with a sweet smile as you feed and played with the small feline. he could hear you talking to it, telling it about your day. his heart jumping a little mentioned him. he continued to observed from afar, noting how you seem to get along more with animals than with your fellow peers. eventually, he decided to make his presence known, slowly approaching from behind to join you and the small bundle of fluffball.
you were surprised at first when he crouched down beside you, but you were quick to relax as you were beginning to get used to his presence. you said your hi's and hello's before a brief moment of silence befall the two of you. it was like the small kitten in front of you made every thought inside your head disappear as you start the conversation, asking him what he's doing here. he felt a little nervous before answering, trying not slip up his little secret that he was stalking you.
it starts off with a small question at first, but soon you begin talking more and more, and before he knew it, soft yandere classmate is now just smiling softly as he listens to you ramble to him, from troublesome homeworks to the very kitten who you are currently petting and stroking on it's cute little head.
he learned a lot of things about you in those few minutes, and he couldn't be more happier. he learned that you couldn't keep any pets at your home, forbidden by your strict parents, and how you wanted to give the kitten a name despite it all. what you didn't know, is that you gave your classmate a sweet little idea.
soft yandere classmate who told you that he will help you pick it's name, and take care of it back at his home. and how nice he is, as he added that you can come over to his house anytime you like to visit it!
once everything is set and done, after class, he'll invite you over, happily telling you that he was able to think up of a cute name for the kitten. and since you're unaware of his underlying intentions, you made it easy for him to lure you in the safety of his walls. where he will slowly convinced you that you will live a much more comfortable and better life if you stay with him and lotte.
all of the things you didn't like to do but forced yourself to live up to everyone's expectations, they're all in the past now. your happy sugar life begins, starting with owning a pet that you've always wished for.
#𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆#𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆#soft yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere fic#yandere imagines#yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere x y/n#yandere concept#yandere oc#yandere x gn reader#yandere fluff#yandere drabble#yandere writing#male yandere
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— braiding his hair
pairing: earth 42!miles x fem!reader
summary: Miles is very particular when it comes to how his hair looks, so he doesn’t let just anyone put their hands in his head. His mom has been braiding it for him since he was in middle school, and he’d found no reason to change routine until you’d randomly expressed interest one day. wc: 702
contains: fluff, fem!reader, envisioned as black!reader but not specified
word bank: “está bien, mi amor” - it’s okay, my love
You were dedicated on teaching yourself how to cornrow/dutch braid specifically for your boyfriend, Miles; having practiced on your little brother a few times before you proposed the idea. And while you could braid normally, you weren’t very well versed in braids to the scalp— those were an entirely different ballgame.
The first time he agreed to sit between your legs, handed you the rat tail comb, and simultaneously reached behind him to tug on his hair-tie and release his hair from the low ponytail it was in, you quickly understood why he kept it braided back. It was massive, and there was so much of it. Even with the sides of his hair faded you were still trying to figure out how it had this much volume. His curls were thick, coily in some places, silky and curled in others, falling just a bit below his shoulders. Hell, you were almost jealous.
It was as if he could read your mind from his seated position on the floor, his back to you, legs criss-crossed and you on his desk chair. “I got a lotta hair, huh?” He nearly felt the act of your hands experimentally hovering over the area, a chuckle falling from his lips before he asked you, “You sure you got it, Mami?” He turned just slightly to peer over his shoulder. “I can always ask my moms to-“
You hastily cut him off, “No, no!” Sounding a little more enthusiastic than you planned, heat spread up the expanse of your throat as you cleared it and sat up straighter, managing to instill some confidence in yourself. “I wanna try.”
And he’s more than willing to let you. You’re his girl after all, basically the only person he trusts other than his mother, so with a surrendered raise of his hands, he nods and leans back once again. “Aight then, do ya thing.”
It took a little longer than some simple braids should, and when you finally finished and reached forward to offer him the hand mirror, you had to restrain from anxiously nibbling at the skin on the inside of your lip. “How’d I do?” You queried quietly, hands gently resting over his lean shoulders.
You watched closely as he turned from cheek to cheek to look over your work in the mirror, brows raising in slight disbelief his bottom lip sticking out in a manner of approval as he nodded. “Damn, Ima little surprised, can’t lie.” He quipped, giving as much of a smile as someone like him gave. “You sure this your first time doing this?”
“I practiced on my little brother once or twice.” You shifted in your seat, the apples of your cheeks tight from your growing grin.“They’re not nearly as good as how your mom does them, though.” Your head tilted as you examined the plaits.
“No, está bien mi amor. They’re perfect, I fuck with them.” He set the mirror down next to him, leaning his head back to rest on your thighs.
“Really?” You felt excitement bubble in your stomach, heart swelling with pride as he expressed his satisfaction.
“Mhmm,” He hummed, long lashes fluttering up at you. “But what I like more is how you learned how to do it just for me. You gon’ be my new hairstylist, hermosa?” He licked his lips, and instantly you were distracted, his accent clinging onto his words as they rolled off his tongue.
You accidentally tuned out his question for a second, the smirk on his face and the way his eyes held contact with yours so intensely had your mind genuinely trying to wrap itself around how he looked this handsome even while upside down. “Hm?” You blinked away the thoughts, blushing when his impish grin widened, pearly whites peeking at your inability to concentrate. “Oh!- Yes… If you want me to be.” You nodded, a smile painting your face to match his.
- please do not copy, plagiarize, or repost my works on any other platform.
likes, comments, and reblogs are very appreciated!!
#miles morales fanfiction#prowler miles fanfic#earth 42 miles fluff#miles g morales#42 miles morales#earth 42 miles morales x reader#miles morales#earth 42 miles morales#miles morales x you#miles morales x reader#miles morales x y/n#across the spiderverse#spiderman atsv#atsv miles
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wildflower and barley -- joel miller x reader
pairing + fandom: joel miller x reader, the last of us (hbo)
word count: 5k+ oops
warnings/notes: smut smut smut!!! minors DNI, 18+!!! no outbreak!au. age gap (it's implied reader is in her 20s while joel is 45) and mentions of joel being kinda perverted and liking it lol. drinking (both reader and joel, not excessive), use of a dating app like tinder but not specified, unprotected PIV w creampie and oral (m+f receiving), do not fuck your tinder hookups without protection i'm just horny and gross. excessive use of darlin' as a nickname. implied that reader likes men. she/her pronouns used, afab!reader (with mentions of body parts), no use of y/n. if i missed anything lmk!
a/n: heavily inspired by this post by @yesttoheaven about joel's tinder profile!! it has been rotting my brain since i saw it which literally inspired me to write my first fic in the tlou fandom ever so please be gentle with me. i imagined show!joel because i've never played the game so do with that what you will. please reblog and leave comments if u enjoy it <3333
divider by @cafekitsune
summary: after deciding to change your age range on a dating app in hope of a change of scenery, you stumble across joel miller.
No one likes using dating apps.
Swiping left, left, left mindlessly at troves of men holding fish, showing off their trucks, or with deer heads mounted to the walls behind their selfies holding guns.
This was Texas, after all.
Having just moved here, it was a little shocking, to say the least. But you were getting used to the “eligible” bachelors that were your age generally looking and acting the same. When you did end up finding someone of interest, you were usually turned off pretty quickly by whatever shitty pick-up line they had chosen. Or, your personal favourite, “wanna fuck?”
No thanks.
It was an idyllic summer evening, the hot stuffy air of Austin flowing in through your windows. You laid in bed, propped up on the pillows against your headboard and sorting through the faces that adorned your screen. No one particularly interesting, as usual, and every profile was starting to melt together to look the same.
You sighed, looking into your settings, adjusting and increasing different metrics to hopefully change the pool just enough for there to be someone new or interesting.
Age range: 25-30
Your eyebrow cocked as you looked onto the screen, pulling the slider more to the right experimentally. No one was here to see you, and even though it was slightly embarassing to be interested in older men, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t pique your interest to imagine it. Even just to try, and see, if they ever really did grow up. You imagined it was wishful thinking, but increased the range anyways.
Age range: 35-45
Feeling the need to throw your phone across the room after doing that, you placed it face down under your pillow and slid out of bed. No use in swiping through them now, and you were getting tired of looking. A pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a new episode of your favourite show was waiting for you downstairs.
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾
Joel Miller does not use dating apps.
He barely knows how to send a text on his phone, let alone navigate the world of online women. Not to say he didn’t explore the options, so to speak, but they usually were not ones that were single, his age, and in his area. Unless the ads on those sites were real, that is.
“It’s starting to get sad,” Sarah had remarked at breakfast, when they got on the topic, and Joel feigned hurt. Hand over his heart, he dropped his fork onto the plate. “It’s not sad, Jesus. I’m just busy, is all.”
“Busy not gettin’ busy,” Sarah remarked, and Joel’s eyes widened. “Hey now! None of that.”
A blush spread up his cheeks and ears as they continued to eat breakfast in slightly awkward silence, before Joel took his plate to the sink. “Okay, off to school, you. And no more conversations about my dating life. Ever.”
Sarah laughed as she finished off the last of the juice in her glass. “I’m just saying, dad. You can if you want to. Might be nice for you.”
Joel planted a soft kiss to her head before she bounded out the door, rolling his eyes and calling out a ‘love you’ before she closed the door swiftly behind her. Joel stared at his cell phone on the table. Maybe it would be nice.
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾
The following evening, you were a little too excited to see the dating app specimens you had acquired. Not sure what to expect, really, and you went in with no expectations. It’s not like they’d magically all be tall, dark, and handsome, but some variety never killed anybody.
Paul, 41
Daddy, but not yours. No libs allowed. 6’ because that matters.
You sighed deeply. Some things never change.
After swiping through much of what you were used to, a profile managed to catch your eye among the sea of disappointment.
Joel, 45
Just a Southern gentleman trying this out for the first time. Contractor of over 10 years. I love my daughter, BBQ, strong coffee, and sleeping in.
Now that was the most interesting thing you’d seen in a while.
He didn’t look a day over 40. His eyes creased at the corners when he smiled wide in his photos. He looked tan, a product of the Texas heat and his job, you thought. His features were accompanied by salt-and-pepper facial hair and messy curls that looked soft and pliable. His photos showed off his physique incredibly, tight wash-worn t-shirts pulling over his arms and shoulders, looking big, broad. He was no doubt the most handsome man you’d seen on an app, maybe ever.
When you swiped right before you could think too hard, you were surprised to see the green “Match!” Flash across your screen.
Your fingers ghosted over the keyboard on your phone, thinking of a witty thing to say, probably for too long.
Your phone buzzed as you saw a notification pop up.
Joel has sent you a message.
Hey, darlin’. How are ya?
You felt your face warm at the sweet message, when was the last time someone had called you darlin’? Ever?
Hey cowboy. I’m great, how are you?
He was certainly an eager responder, taking only a few seconds to reply. You found yourself smiling down at your phone screen.
Cowboy… I like that. I’m better now that I’m talking to you.
Oh, Joel, who told you to say that? 😂
No good?
Not bad. 6/10.
Only 6/10? I’ll work on it. I like to think I’m better in person.
I would love to find out.
You found yourself emboldened by how easy the conversation was flowing. Joel was certainly easy to talk to, easier than the other matches you had going for you, and infinitely more handsome.
Oh, would you? Alright. I’d love to take you to dinner sometime. If you don’t mind being seen with an old man such as myself in public. Or meeting a stranger from the internet.
He’s a very handsome stranger. I would love to go to dinner with you. Know any good spots? I’m new around here.
There’s a great barbecue spot in downtown Austin. If you’d prefer something fancier, let me know.
I love bbq. Just tell me where and when, cowboy.
Tomorrow, 7pm ok?
You sent him your phone number in the message. Fuck it.
Sounds great. Text me the address, I’ll be there. :)
Joel’s reply didn’t come. Instead, a text appeared at the top of your screen with an unknown number.
It’s Joel. This the right number?
Yup. You found me.
Great. Talk tomorrow sweetheart. Looking forward to it. :)
He texted you the address of the restaurant, right before you opened the contact card, saving his name as “cowboy ♡”.
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾
Cowboy. Cowboy. Cowboy. It was playing over in his head like a broken fuckin’ record.
Joel was positively freaking out about this date.
Sarah had managed to secure a sleepover at her friend’s place, so the house would be empty for the night. He had been busying himself with cleaning the entirety of the house, even taking the time to mow the grass before work and vacuum the family room. He can’t remember the last time he vacuumed anywhere.
Would she even make it back here? How does this work? Will she want to sleep over or hang out on the couch or should he be making a dessert for after?
His mind was brought out of it’s craze by Sarah jumping down the stairs. She plopped her bag down on the freshly wiped countertop.
“Careful,” he warned, putting a hand up. “I just cleaned that off.”
“I can tell. It smells like the cleaning aisle threw up in here.”
He smirked before patting her head with his hand, as she aggressively smoothed out her hair. “Dad! Don’t!”
“When do you wanna go to Ellie’s?” He asked, more gaging how long he has left to get ready than actually asking.
“Probably soon. Why? Tryna get rid of me?” she poked her dad in the side, but when she flinched away instead, a large smile spread across her face. He was tense.
“What’s your deal?” Joel hated the way she knew him so well sometimes.
“Nothing.“
“Are you going on a date?”
Silence fell over the kitchen between the two of them, as Joel’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “How did you know?”
“Oh my god, you actually took my advice,” Sarah laughed, watching her dad’s face burn red with embarrassment. “Just don’t do anything weird on communal surfaces, please.”
Joel shook his head at her suggestion, already becoming annoyed with the whole prospect. He was so nervous, about what to wear, how to act, what the expectation was… let alone, what would happen if they made it back to his place at all.
Although, when he was able to shake his nerves for a second, he was just really fucking excited.
“Wear those dark jeans, and that green shirt you wore to Tommy’s last week. Looks good on you.” Sarah smiled as she put her arms around Joel’s middle, while his worries melted away with her touch. “She’ll love you, I promise.”
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾
It had been such a long time since you’d been on a proper date, you were starting to lose your mind at the simple process of deciding what to wear.
Clothes were strewn across every surface of your apartment, shoes matching with jeans that matched with cardigans, tops that matched with belts and jackets.
It’s 87 degrees at 5 o’clock, idiot. You’re not wearing a jacket. Relax.
Exhausted of picking out outfits and making decisions, you collapsed on your couch and took a look at your options. You landed on an easy sundress, putting the rest of your clothes back in their respective drawers, and pulling out all of the products you were expecting to use to get ready.
You scrolled through your phone aimlessly as a notification bubble popped up on the screen.
We still on for tonight darlin’? Or did you change your mind?
No worries if you did. I respect that.
You let out a cackle at the message, thinking about how he must look right now. Was he nervous? Scared? Was he just looking for a controversially young fuck?
You weren’t… completely against that.
Didn’t change my mind, wouldn’t in a million years :)
Meet you there. Can’t wait to see you.
His eagerness to meet up would’ve been a red flag if it were any other run of the mill guy, but something about Joel felt special. There didn’t seem to be any funny business with him; too sincere to try anything other than just a good old fashioned date.
You too, cowboy.
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾
When Joel showed up at the restaurant, he clenched a small bouquet of pink peonies in his right hand and checked his watch obsessively. The minutes ticked away, as he kept a high alert for anyone who could be his potential date. He knew what you looked like, of course, but this being his first time doing anything of this sort is making him hyperaware of anything going awry.
When he does lay eyes on you, his whole gaze softens. A pink sundress, hair pristinely styled and a bounce in your step that reminded him of summer. You looked like an angel, the sunset behind you painting the sky tangerine, which reflected off of the shine against your supple skin. So young, beautiful, it was taking his breath away.
“Joel?”
Your voice matched your sweet demeanour, and he was taken out of his waking daydream.
“Hi,” is all he can say, letting his breath out as he relaxed. “Yes, hi, sorry. I’m Joel.”
“Hi,” you laugh back, eyes darting to the flowers in his hand. They matched your dress.
“These are for you,” he gets the hint, extending his arm out, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearm. He looked so much stronger in person, it was making your knees go weak.
“Thank you, wow,” you held them up to your nose to smell the sweet aroma. “I love peonies.”
“Me too,” he smiled, showing off a string of pearly white teeth, that contrasted with the pink of his lips and the even tan of his skin.
“Shall we?” He extended his arm to you for you to grab onto, and you got to feel the warmth of his skin for yourself. Your hand wrapped around his forearm as he opened the door of the restaurant for you, leading you inside and catching a glimpse of the backs of your thighs as you walked in front of him.
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾
When you were finally sitting, the conversation flowed easily. He was truly a Southern gentleman, like he had said. It wasn’t normal for you to open up so quickly, but Joel was so easy going and smart, he asked the right questions and knew when to listen. He knew how to listen, a warm gaze and a nod along, asking follow up questions to your answers and easily getting to know you.
You asked about his daughter, his family, his work. He was happy to tell you.
“So, what’s a man like you doing being single in this city?” You take a sip of the wine in the glass in front of you, burgundy staining your bottom lip.
He takes a bite of the food in front of him, a napkin pressing to his lips quickly after. “Been busy,” he started to say, honey brown eyes meeting yours for a second. His gaze sent an electrifying pulse down your spine.
“And, well, when Sarah’s mom left there was a ton to do,” he says it nonchalantly, as if that should be something normal to happen. “House, work, school, she keeps my hands full. Hasn’t been a lot of time.” His syrupy drawl is pulling you in, you’re enticed by the way he speaks to you. So easy, warm, soft. You wonder what his hands feel like on your body, lips pressed to your neck, torso pressed against yours.
“Sorry, that’s a lot of information for a first date,” he laughs to cover the awkwardness, and quietly curses himself for going into so much detail about his precarious family situation and basically admitting to you that he hasn’t fucked anything other than his hand in the last 5 or so years.
“No, it’s okay,” you slide your hand across the table, palm up, urging him to slot his hand into it. He takes it, easily, enveloping yours. His fingers find the pulse point on your wrist. You let your eyes drift up to his, drinking in the way his chest fills out the shirt he chose.
“What’s your story?” He asks earnestly, giving your hand a squeeze. “Can’t imagine there isn’t a long line of people outside waiting to take my place, darlin’.”
You blush furiously at the nickname, and let your eyes meet his once again. “You have no idea the… mess that is out there,” the wine is calling your name to take another sip at the mere thought, but you refrain. “Certainly not too many I am interested in.”
“So, is that why you’re on a date with an old man on a beautiful summer night in Austin?”
You could tell Joel, in a twisted way, liked that you were younger than him. It made him feel younger by admission, that you’d want to spend time with him.
“You’re not that much older,” you laugh, not even believing it yourself as the words left your lips. “And I like to try new things. Don’t you like trying new things, sometimes?”
It was his turn to let his face go red at your insinuation. If only you knew how ‘new’ this really was for him, how much he was pushed out of his comfort zone right now.
You didn’t notice.
A little more polite small talk and exchanging of stories was all you could take before the tension was becoming too much. After another glass of wine and a shared plate of sky-high chocolate cake for dessert, you were enjoying his company and could tell he was enjoying yours all the same. When you met his gaze again, hands still intertwined, you could tell there was a question on the tip of his tongue.
“Would you want to…“ - a nervous pause, with a halo of lust - “come back to mine for a nightcap? I’ve got an empty house this evening.”
You couldn’t help but smirk, knowing in your heart that Joel must’ve made arrangements for his family not to be home in anticipation. He had to have planned for you, known in his heart you’d say yes.
“I’d love that.”
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾
Joel’s home is unmistakably him. It smells like a pine candle that sits near the front door and a faint aroma of laundry detergent. There’s photos everywhere, him and his daughter, his brother’s family. Big windows were letting in the twinkling lights of the city outside, the inky sky making them look brighter against its canvas.
“You have a beautiful home,” you say, although it seems a little formal for the situation. What else do you say to a grown-up in their house?
“Thank you,” he takes a bottle of whiskey from the bar cart and pours two rock glasses, handing you one. He flicks on a lamp, ambient light filling the room and painting his skin amber orange, as he joins your side by his kitchen table.
“I did a lot of the construction myself, the decorations are my daughter.” He points lazily to the trinkets on the shelves and photos on the wall. “I don’t really have a good eye for that type of stuff.”
You take a sip from the drink and it coats your throat, burning down as you suppress a cough at the taste. You nod along as he explains the design choices he made in the home, and you play along, knowing it’s likely out of anxiety.
“What about upstairs?”
Your eyes are innocent as they meet his, although you understand the implication you’re making whole-heartedly. He puts his glass down on the kitchen table and you follow his lead, his strong hand around your wrist as he leads you up the stairs wordlessly.
“It’s not anything,” - he clears his throat - “special,” he shows you around the second floor, finishing at the door of his bedroom that has been left slightly ajar.
You step in quietly, leading him inside as you take in the bedroom. Neatly folded clothes, a made bed that looks well loved. Blue sheets and fluffy pillows, big bay windows that let the moonlight in.
“I think it’s nice,” you say simply, letting yourself turn around to meet his broad frame. He looks down at you slightly, eyes meeting yours as your hand drops from his grasp and snakes around his neck. His hands come up the sides of your dress, pulling it up slightly, but landing on your waist.
“Is this okay?” He asks tentatively in the dark of the room, his lips so close to yours already you can practically taste the whiskey on his lips for yourself. You answer him by pressing your tentative lips to his, slotting them together easily.
Joel’s grip on your waist tightens momentarily as he takes you in, pulling you as close as he possibly can. He can smell the perfume on your neck and the wine on your lips from earlier, and it’s making his need for you increase tenfold.
You pull him into you as you stumble back to let your knees hit his mattress, sitting down and letting your hands come to his belt buckle. Your hands came to undo it as he pulled his t-shirt off to throw onto the floor beside him, bending down to help you pull the dress over your shoulders to meet his t-shirt.
You made quick work of his jeans, pushing them to the ground and looking up at him with a keen glance. You could see the breath making his belly rise and fall, anticipating your touch on him any second.
When your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, his breath hitched and his head rolled back. He was already half-hard only from kissing you, so a few pumps made him easily ready for your mouth.
“You’re so big,” is all you can think to say, head spinning from the sheer size of him right in front of your face. Your mouth watered at the way his hand palmed through your hair, pulling you in closer to him for some relief.
It was intoxicating to him, the way your mouth fit around his cock. Such a beautiful sight to see, your head licking and sucking at his tip, gathering spit there to lubricate him. His knees were going weak as he watched intently, no thought able to cross his mind, other than maybe how long it had been since he’d had anyone to do this with. He was going to have to pace himself if it was all like this.
Your mouth constrained around the length of him, taking him deeper and deeper with every bob of your head. Filthy sounds were filling the room now, of your eager mouth pulling him in as best you could. His hand stayed steady at the back of your head, not pushing, just softly pressed there for support. His other hand found your shoulder, pushing down your bra strap.
“God, darlin’,” was all he could choke out, using his hand to pull you off of him. Your hand lazily stroked him as you looked up at him, spit collecting at the corners of your mouth. “I’m not gonna last long if you keep doin’ that,” his laugh eased some of the tension in the room, as you took your other hand and wiped the spit away.
He leaned down, pressing a fervent kiss to your lips before using his own hands to unclasp your bra and let your breasts free. His lips traveled to the side of your neck, before he was kneeled down between your legs, sucking your nipple into his mouth. He lapped at you, all consuming, as his hand came up to grasp the other breast that wasn’t being serviced. He moaned at the noises you were making, lewd whines into the night air that only encouraged him.
His lips made their way down your body to your clothed centre, your back against his soft sheets. You looked down at him intently, watching as he pulled your panties down your legs and immediately delved into your pussy with broad strokes of his tongue.
Your body jerked upwards at the contact, hand fisting the sheet beside you as he lapped at you, like a man starved. His expert tongue found your clit easily, sucking and licking at you for what felt like hours. You thought about his heavy cock between his legs, begging to be touched, hard as ever as he licked at you desperately.
“Joel,” you whined out, feeling your hand reach down to grab at his curls and push him deeper into you. That only made him moan, one hand lazily fisting his cock as the other came up to dip a finger into you, allowing you to see stars when you screwed your eyes shut.
His fingers were so large, pressed into your core as you fucked yourself on them and his tongue in tandem. He was groaning and grunting, and you hoped his neighbours couldn’t see into the window at the desperate filth that was going on in his bedroom.
“Fuck, Joel, please,” you begged, but he had no mercy, and your orgasm was creeping up on you. He was ready to watch you come undone, pushing a second finger into you and furiously sucking on your clit. His other hand left his own pleasure and wrapped around your breast, pressing and playing with the hard nub there, pinching to provide a little bit of sting to it. It was sending you into another dimension.
“Come for me, sweetheart,” and his voice is gravely and debauched, enough to send you into your first orgasm, chanting his name and pulling on his hair. He was happily licking at you, fingers still pressing in and out as to not mess up the rhythm, as you rode out your orgasm against his face.
When you started to come down, he finally detached himself from you before standing up between your legs and pressing his broad palms to your thighs. He stayed there for a moment, cock still hard and heavy between his legs as you gazed up at him, out of breath from his work.
“You’re really good at that,” was all you could think to say, head clouded with arousal. You moved up on the bed a little, opening your legs and pressing your knees apart to show your pussy to him again.
“Please fuck me, Joel,” you breathe out, letting your hand find your own clit to rub it teasingly for him. It was still so sensitive, but the way he was looking down at you, eyes dark and stormy with need, you could almost come again just from that.
He put a knee down on the bed and crawled on top of you, his lips finding yours once again as your hands found his face. You held him there, savouring the kiss as his tongue crashed against yours, all warmth and spit and the taste of you. His hand found your breast and continued to play with your nipples, softly, coaxing more moans into his mouth from yours.
He leaned back and slipped his cock inside of you, filling you up immediately and making you gasp. He groaned into the side of your neck, tonguing the side of your ear and kissing you feverishly as he pumped in and out of you.
Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him impossibly close, your moans filling the room as he rocked in and out of you. He kissed your jaw and chest, before reaching down between your bodies and pressing his thick finger to your clit again, using the wetness there to draw circles around your sensitive nub.
“So pretty,” he smiles into your neck, your hand on the back of his, playing with the now-sweaty strands of hair on the nape. “So pretty for me, taking my cock,” the dirty talking is welcome as he continues to bring you closer to a second orgasm, your breath hitching once again.
“Come inside of me,” you say it like a whisper, a secret in the stillness of the room, and Joel is unsure he even heard you correctly.
“Are you sure?” He says it not accusingly, but in a way that conveys he feels like he just won the lottery.
“Yes, please, fill me up.”
You can see the way his eyes darken more, shifting so he’s on his knees and using your body to fuck himself on his thick cock. His hand continued to play with your clit, bringing you so close to your orgasm that tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. His cheeks were getting hot as he thrusted in and out furiously, and you could almost see the stress melt off of his face as he came close to his own undoing.
The white-hot feeling washes over you once again, eyes shutting before you’re back on your elbows and watching intently. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire as his thrusts become sloppy, your name pouring out of his lips like a prayer. You’re clenching around him and letting him ride out his high alongside you, slowing after his hot cum coats your walls and leaves you full of him.
He collapses on top of you, cock softening inside as you both catch your breath together. Your chests are sticky with sweat as you breathe, taking in the smell of him, and the feel of his warmth on your body.
He pulls himself from you and flops beside you, still taking a moment to admire you. You look over at him, a lazy smile on your face as your hand reaches out to caress the skin of his chest. He takes the time to run his fingertips up your arms and back as you lay there in silence together, just soaking in the moment in a post-sex glow.
“I guess I should get going,” you say after a few beats, sitting up to grab your dress off the floor. You cringe at the thought of throwing your underwear on and leaving, this being just another random hookup for you that never lead to anything. Joel was sweet.
A confused look spreads across his features and his brows knit together, before sitting up next to you at the edge of the bed.
“I mean, I don’t know how these things usually go,” he laughs, as his hand finds your lower back. “But you don’t gotta run outta here like a scared animal or somethin’.”
You look up at him again, unsure of what to do next. In your, albeit limited, experience with dating app hookups, you were expected to leave pretty much right after.
“Oh, um,” you look around the room at the soft worn-in sheets and the TV across from Joel’s bed. You take a look at him again, your eyes meeting his to match his gaze, where you can tell he’s mentally begging that you’ll stay the night.
“I mean, if you don’t mind, I’d be happy to stay.” Joel smiled lopsidedly and let his hand rub soothing circles at your lower back.
“I’ll make it worth your while,” he laughs, stepping over to go into the bathroom and warm up a cloth for the mess spilling out from between your legs. “I wouldn’t mind wakin’ up and doing all that again tomorrow.”
You laugh and lay back onto his bed as he presses the warm cloth to your pussy, his lips once again finding yours to pull you in for a sweet kiss.
You nod, sliding between the comfortable sheets as Joel runs downstairs to grab your abandoned drinks as well as a couple of bottles of ice cold water. He slips into the sheets next to you, not bothering to throw on any pajamas (not that you were complaining), and settling in beside you. After a few gulps of water, you nestled into his chest and let your hand find his tummy, resting on it as you listened to the even pattern of his breath.
“We should do this again. Like, after tomorrow morning.” you say quietly as you’re drifting in and out of sleep. His fingertips continues to slide across your arm and give you goosebumps as you snuggled closer into him, hearing a laugh exhale out of his nose and feeling a kiss press to the top of your head.
In his sleepy, deep southern drawl, he replies. “Don’t have to ask me twice, darlin’.”
#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#tlou fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x female reader#joel miller one shot#joel miller fic#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fanfic
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soulmate au part 1
john price x f!reader
wc: 1.2k
unedited, forgive my mistakes.
since you were born, your world has been grey. you never thought anything of it, until at school, they started teaching you colours. the only ones in the room that could see more than just different shades of grey, apart from the teacher, were identical twins.
weird.
you went home and asked your parents.
"we are born missing half of ourselves. we have a fated one, and when you meet them, your world will look the way it was meant to."
oh. but... "in class, there were twins that could see colour. what about them?"
they look surprised for a second until your dad softly explains. "in rare instances, the soulmate bond will be platonic. which makes sense in this case, because twins grow up with a connection regular people like us will never understand."
you nod and lower your gaze to look at your shoes. you wonder if the person meant for you is interested in junie b. jones books like you are.
-
in high school, you crush on this pretty girl— a cheerleader. her hair is long and beautiful, her face is small and round, and she's so kind. just your type.
but no colour stains your vision, so you burrow your emotions deep and mourn the loss of what could've been.
-
in college, one of your friends ask you if you've met your soulmate yet.
"no, not yet," you lament. what she says after freezes the blood in your veins.
"my mom knew someone whose soulmate was already dead before they had even been born," she comments while stabbing a grape tomato with her fork. "it was really tragic, because she'll never know what it's like to know a love that has no equal."
your heart is in your throat, and you find it hard to swallow the food in your mouth.
what if your soulmate is already dead? oh, god. you might just throw up. your friend doesn't seem to notice the change in your demeanor and continues to babble carelessly about how she knew someone that knew someone who's soulmate had turned out to be a murderer.
oh my fucking god.
you quickly run to the bathroom and throw up your lunch.
how cruel is the universe? to have no control over who is meant to be for you.
you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and lean against the stall of the bathroom. you should've known that this soulmate business was too good to be true.
cupping your hands, you rinse the taste of bile out of your mouth before walking back to your friend who stayed in her seat.
"jesus, you look terrible, you alright?" she asks.
running your fingers through your hair, you huff. "i've certainly been better. just got a bit nauseous, nothing serious. maybe it's a stomach bug."
"oooh, you better not be pregnant! what of your dreams of working in the medical field?"
you giggle at her response. "that'd be impossible unless i'm the virgin mary."
she gapes comically then leans in and whispers, "you're lying! don't tell me you haven't dated anyone just because they weren't your soulmate."
you shrug, and keep your eyes fixed on your half-eaten plate of food. "i don't really wanna talk about it, if that's alright with you. besides, you've got bigger things to worry about, like the upcoming exam for mr. richardson."
slapping a hand to her forehead, she exclaims, "oh, shit! i totally forgot! shit!"
you watch her inhale the rest of her salad and toss her trash before waving goodbye and sprinting toward the library.
with a sigh, you look down at your food. grey. lifeless. shaking your head, you pick up your plate and toss it in the bin.
you decide to focus solely on your studies. you have dreams of being a doctor and pining after someone you haven't even met yet would only serve as a distraction.
--
your white coat grazes your calves as you walk toward your new patient. standing outside the room, you pick up the clipboard.
Price, John. 34, Active Military.
he's the head of the task force! god, you've only heard stories of them from the other medics on base who have met them, so to finally come face to face with the man, the myth, the legend? you wipe your clammy hands on the fabric of your scrubs and clear your throat.
be professional, be professional. he's just another patient, it's no big deal.
rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait a second before twisting the knob with a shaky hand. you nervously keep your eyes on the clipboard as you walk in.
"good morning, captain price."
"mornin', doc," he rumbles.
oh, his deep voice just might be the end of you.
"you don't sound all that happy to be here, captain," you tease while flipping through his medical history papers.
he lets out a low chuckle, and you squeeze your thighs together at the sound. delicious.
"nothin' personal, doc. just don't like bein' here, you understand."
lightly laughing at his joke, you finally steel your nerves and look up at him.
only to have your vision bleed in something you don't understand. is that colour? is this what colour looks like?
the clipboard drops, clattering to the floor. john— being the courteous gentleman that he is— quickly kneels to grab it and lifts his head as he hands it to you.
he freezes in place, the clipboard slipping from his hands as he stares at you.
you thickly swallow, and dumbly question, "do you...has your....colour? can you see colour?"
unblinking, john's eyes are fixated on you as he remains silent.
your eyes dart around to take in his features. his brightly-coloured eyes are framed by lines that hint at his age, his strong jaw adorned by a mutton-chop beard. his nose is specked with a beauty mark.
"what colour are your eyes, captain?" you softly ask.
he closes his mouth and takes in a sharp breath. "i've been told they're blue."
"blue," you smile. the eyes of your soulmate are blue.
but then, your delighted smile melts off your face, in horror.
there's a shiny band on his finger. he's married.
john price, your soulmate, is fucking married.
your vision distorts with the tears that threaten to spill and bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling. it feels like there are shards of glass in your lungs, cutting you open with each quivering breath you take. your pain is red-hot, searing under your skin, flowing through your veins like molten lead.
john knows exactly what you're looking at.
"love—" he starts but you cut him off swiftly.
"don't. you don't owe me anything, captain. uhm, but uh... maybe it's best that we switch your doctors, yeah? conflict of interest, and all that."
you all but run away, away from that room, from him.
how terribly unlucky.
you head towards your office, which is down the hall, and slam the door closed. only then, do you cry, and mourn what should've been.
#call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#john price x f reader#john price x reader#john price#captain john price#captain john price x reader#captain price
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The type of lover you deserve
How to choose a pile?
Take a deep breath and gently close your eyes. Politely request your spirit guides to reveal the appropriate pile meant for you, then open your eyes. Whichever pile captures your attention is the one meant for you.
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Pile 1
Omg pile one I love your energy! So first things first you deserve someone who matches your energy. Like someone who understands you without even saying anything. Someone who can just look into your eyes and feel the depths of your heart. Someone who can protect and cherish your innocence. You're naive pile 1. You trust people easily and sometimes this leads you to people using you for their profit. You deserve someone who can protect you, someone who can cherish your innocence. Someone who won't taint your pure and sweet heart. Someone who won't tell you to change and be someone you're not. You deserve someone who won't tell you that you're too kind for this world and that you need to change yourself in order to survive. You deserve someone who'll let you be innocent and sweet. You deserve someone who'll be proud to have you in their life. You deserve someone who'll be sure about yourself. Someone who's ready to wife/husband you up without any doubt. You deserve someone who'll make your feel confident. I see that some of you may have daddy issues so you instantly like people who give off mature and responsible vibes. You deserve someone with whom you can share your deepest darkest secrets. Someone who won't judge you for liking things that you like, dressing the way you want to etc. you deserve someone who'll teach you new things without making you feel stupid. Someone who'll be patient with you. You deserve someone who knows how to handle their emotions, especially Anger because I see that you may have some kind of trauma revolving anger issues or people shouting and things breaking. I see that you guys had to grow up early, you had to be mature beyond your age, sometimes you feel like you missed out on so many things. So you deserve someone with whom your inner child can feel protected, secure and happy. You deserve someone who can give you the love you never got as a child. You guys could be born in June, March, November or August or these could be significant months for you.
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Pile 2
Welcome pile 2! The first message I'm getting is that someone of you could practice witchcraft or you could be interested in the occult. You could be interested in conspiracy theories or things that people do not talk about so openly. I also see that you could give off intimidating vibes. So you deserve someone who doesn't get scared easily. You deserve someone who has similar interests as you, probably someone with whom you can do witchy stuff. Pile 2 you deserve someone who understands your magic. Someone who believes in magic. Someone who is not too practical or logical like that type of practical person who doesn't believe in magik. Someone who can think outside the box. You deserve someone who learns, grows and adapts with time. You do not deserve someone who lives like an NPC. You deserve someone who matches your uniqueness, someone who is not afraid to let themselves shine. You deserve someone with whom you can travel to different places. I see that you are someone who likes taking risks so you deserve someone who has the same adventurous soul. You deserve someone who matches your freaky energy 😜 I see that you have a lot of stamina and deserve someone who matches your energy in bed. You're absolutely magical so you deserve someone who can handle your otherworldly energy. You deserve someone who can make your every wish come true. You deserve someone who is willing to put in the effort to be with you. You deserve someone who can offer you something in return. I see that you have been the type of person who does more than needed for others so you deserve someone who can spend money on you and spend time with you. You deserve someone who can show you how lovely it is to love and be loved. I also see that you deserve someone who can handle pain for some reason? Idk you deserve someone who won't feel pity for your backstory. You deserve someone who won't look at you with sympathy, instead you deserve someone who can challenge you because you love challenges. You could be an Earth or water sign, especially cancer, Pisces, Virgo and Capricorn.
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Pile 3
Whatsup! Pile 3! The first message I am picking upon is that you deserve someone who is willing to fight for your attention. you deserve someone who is ready to fight for your relationship. You deserve someone who does not give up easily. I see that sometimes you can be hard to love because you are always evolving, you are always changing, you are not the person you were a few months ago and some people cannot keep up with it. So you deserve someone who can keep up with your transformations, someone who will not stop loving you just because you have changed. You deserve someone who loves you for your soul, who loves you for your true self. you deserve someone who is willing to make things work. you deserve someone who wants stable long term commitment. you do not deserve somebody who is just looking for casual dating. I'm also picking up on the message that you deserve someone who treats you like a Queen. you deserve someone who gives you princess treatment and if your person is not willing to give you princess treatment then they might not be the one for you. You deserve someone who takes up on the traditional image of their gender, someone who is willing to provide and protect. I see that you romanticize old love, you romanticize when people used to write letters, were patient, and were ready to love. Another message I'm getting is that you deserve someone who treats your body like a temple, who worships your body. Someone who worships the ground you walk. Someone who puts you on a pedestal. You absolutely deserve to be treated like a queen. And let me make one thing clear: you'll only receive this treatment when you're willing to treat your person like a king. You deserve someone who is willing to learn new things for you, you deserve someone who is willing to change their perspective about things. You deserve someone who is also evolving and changing so you guys can keep up with each other.
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Pile 4
This is definitely my crazy pile 🤣 Hello pile 4! Welcome to your reading! You deserve someone who matches your weird energy like someone who is willing to be strange, loud and crazy with you. You deserve someone who is open and wholesome. I see that you do not give a buck about what people say and you just want to be your true self. You love spreading happiness and kindness. I am hearing “ she likes to give a smile to every stranger” . You should listen to “she's crazy but she's mine” . You're a walking representation of this song. You deserve someone who won't feel awkward by your energy, you deserve someone who does not feel threatened by the attention you attract. I see that you have a really unique energy that attracts a lot of attention wherever you go. You could be sitting there reading your book and people would still be looking at you like you are a star so you deserve somebody who does not feel insecure about the attention you attract. You deserve someone who is confident, you deserve someone who won't make you dim your light. You deserve someone who is just as crazy as you are , you deserve somebody who can match your vibe. Another message I'm getting is that you deserve somebody who is kind and humble because you are someone who likes spreading love around and you are someone who likes helping people. You do not like dishonest and ungrateful people. You deserve someone with whom you can help others. You deserve someone who is just as passionate about life as you are. You deserve an optimistic person. I see that you have gone through a lot of betrayals but you still choose to believe in love and happiness. You deserve an emotionally mature person, you deserve someone who feels their emotion and does not sabotage themselves. You deserve someone who loves children who loves working with children and animals. I see that you will be doing charity work with your future partner. You deserve someone who is interested in space, dinosaurs and random facts.
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#tarot reading#tarot cards#pick a card#free readings#free tarot#tarot#pick a pile#tarotblr#pick a picture#pick a photo#tarotwithavi#tarotwisdom#valentines day#future lover#future#lovers#love reading#psychic readings#intuitive readings#oracle reading#tarot readings#tarotcommunity
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Astarion x f!Tav pregnancy headcanons
@treshmind @chillingintheunderdark @azu21 @rachelle-on-the-run
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Headcanons
Ok, it turned out to be much longer than I expected. And very angsty
None of you have any idea it was possible to get pregnant
Astarion is a vampire. He definitely "shoots blanks."
The ability to knock someone up was taken away from him along with his life many years ago.
Until one day, you feel weird. Sick, exhausted.
It's not like you pay too much attention to your monthly bleeding (what's the point anyway?"), but you notice it's been a while
And Astarion, after feeding on you, says your blood tastes different. Not bad, not weird. Just different.
And the scent isn't like it was before.
You are terrified you've caught one of these magical sicknesses or curses no one knows how to cure.
You go to the healer, who gives you a herbal drink, saying, "Take this; it's good for the child, and don't bother me until you feel something is off."
And you stay in the healer's hut, shocked, trying to understand what kind of child he is fucking talking about?
Until you realize.
You remember the night half a month ago, when a group of thugs attacked the village where you and Astarion live together.
Astarion returned from the woods drunk with sentient creatures' blood, his eyes glowing red and his skin blazing hot.
He just swept you away from your feet, dragged inside, stripped you of your light armor, and pinned you to the bed until the next sunset.
It was not the first time he was that "blood drunk," - but it was the first time it happened one of the days you could possibly conceive.
It's just a coincidence. The coincidence you carry inside your womb.
You return home, scared and shivering. By the time Astarion notices you are back, you are already crying.
You have no fucking idea how to be a mother. You have no fucking idea how to raise a child. What are you carrying within?
A person? A monstrosity? Your own death?
What creatures are born from vampires?
Astarion is no less shocked.
He pulls away from you, grabbing a fistful of his hair, and swears in Elven.
The healer may be wrong. You can't get pregnant.
And now you feel even more uneasy - what if you were assaulted?Do you have any memory gaps? What if someone used you?
Astarion leaves at sunset, and you stay alone with your fears
He returns in the morning, calm and quiet. Noticing you are still on your feet, he carries you to bed and asks to sleep while he "figures something out."
When you wake up in the late evening, Astarion has a sudden mood change
He is happy. He smiles. He pulls you to himself, placing a hand on your flat belly.
Then you notice a stack of books.
Dhampirs. Children of mortals and vampires. With insanely long lifespans, immunity for vampirism, and living beating hearts.
"You see. That's what we are going to have".
You slowly start adapting to your new condition,
The child grows fast, and your body changes. Breasts get a bit bigger, and you can't wear your light armor anymore (it is suddenly too small). You are constantly tired and hungry.
Even the most innocent teases from Astarion make you cry - and he panics every time it happens.
He has no idea how to handle a pregnant woman.
You quarrel. Constantly. Because you are both scared to death.
What is worse, Astarion has a serious regress. There are nightmares and self-harm tendencies. He runs away to the woods or the Underdark tunnels at least once a week, and you lash at him for leaving you alone every time he gets back.
Besides, it's his fault he didn't stop drinking blood that night
You have nightmares, too.
You envision a monster growing within you that will gnaw through your flesh any time soon.
And yes, women die in childbirth. Even if before that, they'd challenged the fucking gods!
One day, Astarion puts his head on your belly
He caresses it and whispers something in Elven.
"I hear the heartbeat," he says, eyes teary. "I hear our child's heartbeat!"
From that moment, everything changes,
He no longer goes away. He helps you bathe and dress. Brings everything you ask for and ensure you are comfortable sitting and walking. He prepares the place for the child (ignoring a very rational fear that either you or the child dies)
And he sews. He makes the set of clothes for the newborn, embroidering it with protective Elven runes.
Sometimes you both relax enough to discuss the future.
The day of birth comes much earlier than you expect. Almost a month earlier.
The midwife, perfectly knowing the father's nature, pushed Astarion out of the room.
And he spends a few hours helpless and desperate, hearing your cries of pain. If it was the night, he could at least go outside, but, as it happens, it's a sunny day.
He hates himself for doing this to you.
And as for you, you had no idea it could be so painful.
Finally, Astarion has enough and returns to you, kneeling beside the bed
The moment you see him, you grasp his hand as if you are drowning
And then it's all over.
A squeal, desperate and angry, rings out through the room, and you see a newborn in the midwife's hands.
A tiny girl with long pointy ears is placed in your hands. Not a monster. She isn't deformed. Just a baby. Who is very angry with the fact she's been pushed out from the warm womb to this cruel and unpredictable world.
Astarion can't believe what exactly he sees.
He has a child. He has a daughter. The most normal thing anyone can think of is now a reality for him, someone who once had to get out of his own grave.
Then you give the newborn girl to Astarion, and the moment he takes her, he bursts into tears, pressing the child against his chest.
The girl doesn't cry anymore, piercing Astarion with her dark eyes.
You, still tired and in pain, drink the healing potion left by the midwife and you look up at Astarion.
He notices your gaze and kisses you.
"My love, thank you. This is a gift", he whispers through the tears.
--
Tag list:
@tragedybunny @caitlincat-95 @tallymonster @astarionsbeloved @lumienyx @fayeriess @aoirohi @elora-the-slutty-songstress @veillsar @astarion-imagine-archive @micropoe10 @starlight-ipomoea @herstxrgirl @theearthsfinalconfession @ashrio20 @not-so-lost-after-all @vixstarria
#astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#astarion romance#bg3#astarion bg3#astarion headcanon#baldurs gate 3#astarion headcanons#astarion x tav#astarion x f!tav#dadstarion#astarion being a dad#tav x astarion#spacebarbarian headcanon
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i am just so in love with husband!simon, i cannot stop these thoughts !!
.・゜゜'just because flowers'. there was a video i saw where this guy would take one flower from the bouquet he would give his partner so that he knows when the flowers start to die so he can get a new batch. simon is the husband to definitely do that. and even when they do dry up and become discolored, he makes sure to get a much larger vase so you can keep all of the dried flowers he would get you.
.・゜゜simon's attentiveness and his ability to react with quick thinking. he pays attention to everything. every singular detail, as little or as big. you mentioned you're running low of your favorite lotion. he'll go out the next day to buy you a jumbo sized bottle. you mention that you're starting to feel your cramps three days before your period starts. the next day, you see the pantry and fridge stocked with your favorite cravings. knowing that something as simple as mentioning something and him making the effort to do that without even being asked to is a GREEN FLAG.
.・゜゜he's a competence king. and when you want to learn, he teaches you without making you feel stupid. the car is making a funny squeaking noise? he figures it out in two minutes. the kitchen sink has a leaky faucet? he whips out his toolbox and goes to work under the cabinet. you want to learn how to shoot a gun for your protection? he teaches you of different types of guns, the bullets, the kickback, your stance, and more. this man was born to be a teacher ;)
.・゜゜simon takes date nights VERY SERIOUSLY. he understand that you are your own person, you have your own time to do your own things and have fun with friends. but he thinks it's extremely important as a married couple to set a specific time aside so you two can go out and have a date night. you obviously love how involved he is in your relationship and it's definitely a breath of fresh air.
.・゜゜husband!simon has for sure softened up after marrying you and has changed his views on children. you two don't have any of your own, but you would see how he is with your nieces and nephews. he treats them so gently and lets them climb all over him like a jungle gym. he'll do this thing where he'll have three kids on each arm and he'll spin around in the yard as the kids squeal and giggle. seeing him with his guard down when it came to the children made your heart grow in size.
#this man has my heart in a chokehold i swear#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon hc's <3#husband!simon
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// The Cycle //
(au details below)
After his banishment from The Gods' Plane, Grimm is too weak to sustain his physical form indefinitely. As a result, his physical body is stuck in an endless cycle of death and rebirth, as its lifespan is limited and its powers are limited
The Nightmare King, and his physical body, Troupe Master Grimm, are the same being separated by the barrier between the physica world and his nightmare realm. They exist simultaneously, they share thoughts, memories and personality traits, although their physical appearance differs - the physical body is smaller, its body lacks the extensive fluff, and is more organic in nature. Within the nightmare realm and with the Nightmare Heart's power, Grimm has full control over the body's physical and physiological aspects, and so its appearance may change following each ritual if he so desires. However, each body withers away over time, and thus it must be replaced periodically. Unfortunately, with the Heart's limited power, the vessel must spawn in a reduced form and grow with the help of his troupe (or any volunteer). Collecting nightmare flame speeds up the process, as does the presence of the previous body, which then gets consumed by flame and replaced by the new vessel
---
Stage I ("Grimmspawn") - the vessel that spawns from the nightmare flame. It is small in size, but capable of flight. Its legs and arms are underdeveloped, and its body is covered in fluff. Its eyes are closed, and the head is similar in shape to a teardrop, as the horns are not separated in this stage
Stage II ("Grimmchild") - having absorbed nightmare flame, the vessel grows in size and its limbs develop. The headshape resembles that of the final form, although its body is noticeably more serpentine in shape, and its fluff covering is more sparse. Consuming more flame allows it to continue growing until it reaches its final stage
Stage III ("Troupe Master") - after the previous vessel is consumed by flame, another takes its place. This form is most commonly known as the Troupe Master Grimm, or simply just Grimm. Despite its status as a vessel, it stands equal with the Nightmare King - it is with this body that Grimm is able to interact with the physical world, and so this stage lasts the longest, up to a few months
However, in this form, Grimm requires blood in order to sustain his physiological functions for a longer period of time, as his heart and circulatory system are weak. Similarly, he rarely uses the full extent of his powers, as doing so weakens him and forces him to rest in order to regain his strength. Although he lacks the long tail and the wings of his previous stages, his cloak can move around and warp into different shapes, most commonly into tendrils and spikes
Despite his weak heart, Grimm's body functions as you'd expect - he is capable of consuming and digesting food, and even reproduction (though the body is usually designed to be infertile, as a preventive measure). Interestingly, he is unable to cry, likely due to the unnatural aspect of his eyes
Stage IV - if the ritual is delayed for whatever reason, Grimm's body starts showing noticeable signs of decay. He becomes physically weak, he gradually loses his voice, and he starts shedding fur from his limbs. The flame rages from within his body, and smoke escapes through his wounds. His eyes lose their scarlet color and start leaking, making him appear as if he's weeping. The body eventually burns down, and if this occurs outside of a ritual, the next vessel is unable to consume its flame, meaning it takes a much longer time to grow. Grimm rarely allows himself to reach this stage, preferring to replace the body while it is still in a functioning state, as it makes the entire process much smoother
#hollow knight#gekko.art#feral pk au#au character bios#hk grimm#troupe master grimm#nightmare king grimm#nkg#grimm#grimmchild
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Your hot neighbor wants to bang you!
Summary: Your hot neighbor had been giving obvious hints that he was into you, but you never caught them. His back is very sore, he comes up to you for help!
Pair: Leon F Kennedy x Chubby reader(kind of shy)
Tw: age-gap, oral(F), praise, begging(little), bondage, overstim, size difference, breeding
A/n only horny thoughts of him, no pure thoughts. Leon has heavy breeding balls, change my mind
based of this post of mine
To say you have a tiny crush on your neighbor, Leon, was an understatement. You have a massive crush on him, your friends would tease you nonstop about it.
As much as they try to encourage you to talk to him, you just couldn’t! You were too shy, seeing him could make your face red.
You desperately craved his attention, that bright smile of his to be directed to you. You were in your living room, sadly thinking of him.
A loud knock was heard from your door, the only person who really talked to you was Leon. You rush to open the door, a hopeful feeling washing over you.
“Well, hello there little one” Leon purrs, he leans himself on your doorway.
Your heart beats faster, that smirk on his face makes your legs feel numb. Simple words from him could make your body shut down, reacting to him with obvious reactions.
“Hello, Leon” you murmur, your cheeks heating up. You attempt to avoid eye contact, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of him.
“Is something the matter? Your face is all red, love” Leon teases, he was well aware of how you felt of him.He tense up, the intoxicating smell of your perfume, sending a wave of relief to him.
“Oh! It must be the season for my allergies” you say, fake laughing.
You were too busy avoiding eye contact to notice the growing bulge in Leon’s pants. The heavy breath Leon took was evident of the effect you have on him, the sweet aroma making his body relax.
“Is there something you need?” You ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Leon snaps out of his perverted thoughts, his blue eyes shining with mischief.
“Oh there is~ you see, I’ve been so sore. I was supposed to get a massage, but you know how long it takes to get to the city” Leon says in a silky tone, it sends shivers down your spine.
The downfall of living in a quiet area is if you wanted something down professionally, it’d take hours to get to. This may be the one chance you would get to be near him!
There is no way you're going to cockblock yourself! You nod your head hastily, heart fluttering when he smiles softly at you. He leads you to his home, it has off luxurious vibes.
A man as himself, it would make sense why he would have something so fancy. Leon glances back at you, his eyes flashing with an emotion that you could tell what it was.
“So, are we doing it here?” You ask, drinking in the sight of his skin tight top.
“Here? Oh you silly little thing, we can’t just do it here” Leon whispers, a teasing smile on his face.
“Come along, dear” Leon says, leading the way to his room.
You stand in his living room, a dumbfounded look plastered on your face. You can feel the wetness between your thighs, why must he have such an effect on you? You awkwardly catch up to him, aware of the slick between your legs
“After you, my dear. Oh and, can you grab the oil? It’s in my bathroom” Leon says, watch you carefully.
You walk into his room, sparing him a glance before heading into his bathroom. You didn’t hear the click of the door, it sounded like someone locked a door.
Leon lights a couple of candles, making the atmosphere even more intense. The candles provided a light in his dark room, illuminating his room.
You stand in his bathroom, pondering about what is going to happen. There is no way he decided out of all his neighbors, he chooses you!
All you have to do is massage his back and you’ll be on your way, no need to worry! You suck it up, grabbing the body of oil and walking out of his bathroom.
You stop in your tracks, your eyes blown out. Leon’s shirt was discarded in the corner, you could see every muscle on his back.
You may pass out from how much blood was rushing to your head, the throb in your cunt intensifying with every second.
You're not even surprised that Leon had a well toned body, tensed up muscles. It’s not like you stare at him whenever he goes for a job, that’s creepy!
“Are you staring?” Leon teases, turning to face you with a cocky smirk on his handsome face.
“No!” You say, nodding your head.
“Mmh, if you say so” Leon murmurs, chuckling. Leon sits down on his bed, dipping under his weight.
“Just my back, thank you~” Leon says, winking at you. He lays in his stomach, resting his hand on his hand.
You straddle his hips, avoiding sitting down. You're pretty sure your juices soaked your panties, you spray the scented oil on your hands.
Your fingers dig into any knots you felt in his back, using your entire body to make sure you massaged the area well. You shiver, his grunts making you nervous.
“Oh fuck! Right there, baby. You're doing so good for me!” Leon praises, he grunts in pain and pleasure.
You clench around nothing, this is something that will be engraved in your mind forever. You feel him tense up below you, massaging a spot that has been bothering him for a while.
His grunts and groans only fuel your arousal, you bite your lips to muffle any sounds.
“Oh shit, thank you. That feels so much better” Leon says, patting your thigh.
You move off of him, fanning yourself with your hand to cook you down. It felt like the room got hotter, the obvious tension between you both. Leon rubs his shoulder, letting out a content sigh.
“I think I should repay the favor, don’t you think?” Leon asks, his large hand reaching to your knee.
His hand engulfs your knee, reminding you of the size difference between you and him. His fingers rub at your skin, making you snap out of your thoughts.
“Oh, you don’t need to do that!” You say, trying to reassure Leon.
“Mmh, but I think I should, honey” Leon whispers, leaning in closer to your face.
“Don’t try to pretend like you don’t stare at me when I’m working out” Leon says, scooting closer to you. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, providing a comfortable feeling for you.
“Come on, baby. Tell me you want this, let me hear you say it” He says, fingers tilting your gaze to his eyes. You slowly nod your head, you couldn’t find the courage to speak up.
“Come on, let me hear you say it with your words” Leon says, his icy blue eyes watching you carefully.
“Please, I need you” you whine out, shrieking when he suddenly kisses your lips.
You melt into the kiss, leaning in closer to him. You whine when he pulls away from your lips, his hands pulling your top off.
He helps you out of your clothes, tossing them in the corner. He gently pushes you down, putting a pillow under your back.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, let me enjoy myself” Leon says, his hands spreading your thighs.Your face goes red in embarrassment, your cunt soaked in your juices.
“Oh my, all this for me?” Lean jokes, snickering.
Just as you were going to reply he instantly dives in your cunt like a starved man. His tongue rubs from your clenching hole to your clit.
Your clit throbs to his touch, throbbing faster when Leon sucks on the bud. He hums into your cunt making you gasp, your fingers tugging on the strands of dirty blonde hair of his.
He groans, sending more vibration through your body. His tongue sinks into your dripping cunt, tongue plunging in and out. The loud sounds of squishes fills the room, Leon’s nose pressing into your sensitive clit.
“Fuck! Can I cum, please let me” You sob, a hand still buried in his hair while another was fisting the sheets tightly in your hand, your knuckles turning white.
Leon nods his head, not stopping his administration on your cunt to talk. The lower half of his face is soaked in your juices, dripping down to the sheets.
“Leon!” You moan, unable to hold your organism anymore.
Leon hums in approval when your thighs tremble, your cum only soaking the lower half of his face even more. Leon pulls away from your swollen cunt, a thin sheet of juices connecting his swollen lips to your cunt.
“Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long. I wanted you for so long, now I can finally have you~” Leon growls, possessiveness dripping from his voice.
Leon pulls off his belt, tying up your hands. He rubs your wrist gently, providing a sweet gesture.
Good girl, let me show you how thankful I am” Leon whispers seducingly, kissing your neck.
Leon tugs off the rest of his clothing, a trail of hair leading down to his cock. His cock is dripping in precum, hard.
He gently slaps the tip on your clit, he gently sinks into your eager cunt. It felt like you were getting split apart, his veins dragging against your walls.
You grab his sheets, letting cries. Leon peppers kisses to your lips, distracting you. Your wetness allowed him to sink in easily, his tip pressing at your cervix.
You both let out groans, Leon’s brows furrowed in concentration. His hands grab at your leg, bending them to your chest.
“Gonna be my sweet girlfriend? My sweet little girlfriend?” Leon says, his cock sinking out of your sloppy cunt.
You nod your head, hissing in pleasure. With every thrust you could feel Leon’s heavy balls slapping on the fat of your ass.
“Leon!” You gasp, breathing heavy in pleasure. Every thrust knocking the wind from your lung, you felt so full of his cock.
“Yes, baby?” Leon asks, slowly picking up the pace.
You ramble out his name and pleas, no thoughts in your head other than him. With the constant rub on your g-spot was enough to have you tumbling down the edge, a creamy white ring forms around the base of Leon’s cock.
“Oh shit, you're cumming so fast. Mmh, my sensitive baby” Leon teases, now pounding you into his bedsheets.
You could see the thin sheet of sweat covering Leon’s body. You could barely match with his stamina!
“Mmh, can I cum inside you? Let me fuck you stupid~” Leon says, pushing your legs around his waist.
He kisses your neck, sucking on the area. His tongue tracing words onto your neck, spelling his name out.
“Yes! Please!” You whine, your nails biting into his back.
Leon’s arm wraps over you, keeping you trapped as you feel liquid shoot deep into your body. You clench around his cock, his cum filling your womb, slowly dripping from your pussy. Leon stays inside you, still having you beneath him.
“Mmh, such a shy girl. My sweet shy girlfriend” Leon says, pressing a kiss to your lip.
You passionately kiss him back, closing your eyes. You could feel yourself slowly drift off, exhaustion hitting you like a train.
“Sleep well, my love. I’ll be right here for you” Leon says, kissing your cheek.
guys, I always get scared that imma hit the limit for words💀WHICH IS WHY I COULDN'T STUFF IN AFTERCARE, don’t worry— he took care of yall after<33
taglist: @sidhion @mlkyshxrtcke @ihatelifesm @leonkennedygvrl @skydisneylover @ariiiiwaz
#resident evil#resident evil 4#leon resident evil#resident evil 4 leon#resident evil smut#fem reader#female reader#chubby reader#smut#leon f kennedy#leon kennedy#Leon f Kennedy smut#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy x reader#leon smut#leon f Kennedy x reader#leon x reader#leon f Kennedy x chubby reader#leon x chubby reader#leon kennedy x chubby reader
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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Worth more than what you take me for.
ayato x gn!reader
summary: in which he had to choose between two people including you, in a life and death situation.
disclaimers: swearing (there's like one lol), kidnapping, ooc traveler.
4,032 words and 21,895 characters.
a/n: dayum. this took a while and i did not expect to write this much.
you've known ayato since childhood. your parents has been serving their clan for generations, being one of their most trusted allies. and you're no exception.
growing up with people with high authorities was such a privilege. you remember when you first met lord ayato and lady ayaka. they both were very the same yet so different. so elegant, disciplined and was well mature for their age. you felt some kind of barrier between you and the siblings but they turned out just as kind as they look. they were easy to converse with. naturally, after some time of serving them, you would have gotten closer. and in fact, you did. although you thought, you and ayato's relationship was... rather special.
for some reason, ayato treats you very differently compared to others. not in a bad way. he often calls you to his workplace, make you sit there and drink tea with him. he takes you out to go eat dinner at uyuu restaurant when you both have finished work. he requested you to be his personal assistant while ayaka had thoma. and because of this, you get to spend more time with him than anyone else. at the beginning, you always thought ayato would be a cold and strict person. but it turns out to be quite the opposite. okay- maybe he is more quiet and colder than others, but that's towards other people. especially to those he only has business with.
ayato is surprisingly different to what you originally thought. he would try to match your humor, often speaking informally like the way you would around your closest friends just to match with you. lately he's been spending his free time with you too. he noticed you liked tea a lot, much like him. so both of you had made it a habit to have tea at the estate's balcony while the sun is going down. watching the sunset together. it felt really romantic for you- but you quickly shook your head and remembered that to him- you're just his work partner. but is that really the case for him? because he was much more observant than you thought. especially about you. he notices any slight change in the mood with you. so there was a particular day when you were gloomy because of being so tired. but he noticed this immediately.
"Shall we take a break?"
-- and you don't know why but your heart skipped a beat when he said that. you thought it was funny-- how he would do all of this for you. and at times like these, you start to feel like a special person to him. just because he always relies on you compared to others. you thought you were special to him. until she came.
who is she? she looks so... bold and pretty. just one look at her and you can already tell she has a strong personality but has a gentle aura. her blonde hair swaying so glamorously in the wind. her otherworldly clothes making her stand out among people. the way she moves makes it embarrassing to stand beside her. she seems so... perfect in everyone's eyes. unfortunately, that includes ayato's. you don't remember having a guest in ayato's schedule when you were fixing it, so why's she here?
you found out the answer really quickly. everyone at the estate has been talking about her and... ayato lately. you don't know why though, which is weird- because as his assistant you should be the first to know about things regarding him. it's even weirder that ayato had not summoned you after work has ended. 'is this where our afternoon tea sessions end?' you thought to yourself. so you found it upon yourself to just be straightforward and ask others what's the gossip all about. luckily, there was another servant nearby. she quickly leaned closer to you and whispered.
"h-haven't you heard?... it seems that lord ayato had taken a liking to lady ayaka's guest."
you were surprised. really. it wasn't even his guest yet he bothered to entertain her. just who is she?
"who-... who is her lady's guest?" you nervously questioned.
"I heard it was... the traveler? was it? lord ayato visited her personally! they're just so perfect with eachother!- i can't help it." the servant squeals in excitement, contrary to your look in horror. you try not to make it obvious though. but you shouldn't even be feeling this way. why does it hurt? there's a sharp feeling on your chest that you just can't get out of. it just hurts to know the reason why he stopped your afternoon tea sessions, dinner hangouts, or just even talking with eachother is because of another girl! you were in no place to get frustrated since you were just a servant. nothing more, nothing less. to him.
you only see him through work now. the urge to invite him to a tea break and have a conversation with him while watching the sunset is getting stronger everyday. and who are you to resist?
"lord ayato... wou-" before you could even finish your sentence, he stopped you. your heart was beating so fast. 'oh no. did I do something wrong?' thoughts like these were circling through your mind.
"i told you to just call me 'ayato' y/n"
--and he chuckles a bit at the end. and so do you. you felt so... relieved. your worries instantly washed away. you felt at ease knowing that you are special to him. i mean- he doesn't do this with others does he?
"ah- my bad... but as I was saying, would you like to have some afternoon tea break with me? I mean, we used to do that everyday but it has been a while since we last did soo..."
and at this point you were so sure he wouldn't decline. he's been less busy this week, what could he possibly do that's far too important to even refu-
"my apologies, y/n. i've already scheduled a tea break with someone else this afternoon. maybe next time if i have the time. i promise i'll make it up to you. however, you could accompany us if you would like." and your mind. empty. the world seems like it stopped for you. not only was your only time to hang out with him gone but you were also replaced. all this time... he was with someone else. you had a gut feeling of who that someone else might be. but you couldn't hold a grudge, you have no right to.
"i-... i look forward to it." nope. you absolutely don't, look forward to it. that day will eventually come though. you just didn't expect it to come, three days later. how quick. you were filled with mixed of different emotions. you hate to admit it- but... you are jealous of who this person might be. but at the same time you're glad to just see ayato again! sadly, for work. when he summoned you, you thought-- 'oh is this finally it? will we finally hang out together again?' until you realize it's just that you will just accompany him to go to a somewhat date with someone else. compared to you and ayato just drinking tea at the estate's balcony, he had prepared so much as to have tea and snacks at the shore. alas, you could finally meet this person. once again. as you realize it was her. the traveler.
"traveler, did you wait long? i'm sorry, you could've ju..."
and their conversation went deaf on your ears. the ayato kamisato. speaking informally, and giving out tea invitations to the traveler. when it used to be you... why are you feeling like this? isn't it obvious. the traveler is way prettier, stronger and better than you. comparing yourself to the traveler is already such an embarrassing thing to do. no one could compare to her. she's out there defeating monsters and fighting archons. while you're here holding a grudge on a person who doesn't even know you just because you're jealous you were easily replaced. but who were you to be replaced when you weren't even his to begin with. this is why you feel guilty. because you think that you have no right to feel this way. it's just now that you realize how much of an overthinker you are. however your thoughts were cut short when you hear ayato calling out your name.
"y/n, i'll go to to the comfort room for a bit. please entertain the traveler while i'm away."
he says.
"understood." and so you take a seat at ayato's chair before. and despite not wanting to have a talk with the traveler, it is still your duty and you would not abandon it for just some mere feelings.
"greetings, i'm y/n. it's a pleasure to meet you traveler." you bow slightly and give the smile you usually show to guests. a smile you practiced countless of times infront of a mirror. "you might have not heard about me though. so allow me t-"
"oh i know. you're ayato's personal assistant. he mentioned it to me before." the traveler states. and you were genuinely shocked but also... curious.
"is that so?... then, has he said any other things about me before?" you nervously asked. though the nervously part may not be obvious to others. the traveler sees right through this. and she giggles. but nods. "would you mind serving me some tea? the tea ayato has been serving me is delicious however i've tasted it countless of times from our past tea parties. so I would like to have a different flavor this time."
the word 'countless' implies that they have been doing this for a while now and you already know that. but it still stirs a feeling of jealousy inside you.
"of course. luckily i brought a different tea flavor for myself as well. let me go get the ingredients from my bag." you return after brewing the tea and pouring it into the cups. how thoughtful that the traveler had already prepared the cups for you.
"this tastes a lot like lavender... melon." the traveler says.
"hm. because it is. you have a great sense of taste." you reply. from this point and so on, you don't really know what to talk about. the atmosphere is really awkward. but you still try to strike up a conversation because she is a guest.
"s-so... what brings you here to the kamisato estate?" you ask. in which the traveler replied with "originally, ayaka invited me. and ayato next." you don't know if it's just your eyes playing tricks on you or did the corner of her mouth raise upwards for a bit. you brush it off. maybe the grudge you have on her is going too far. i mean, it's not like you hate her though. but it's also not like you like her.
by now you've almost finished your tea. same goes for the traveler. you only had to endure a little bit more of this atmosphere and her because ayato should be back soon. so you lowered your guard and relaxed a bit. this whole time you only stared at your teacup, but it wouldn't hurt to take a glimpse at the traveler right? so slowly but hesitantly, you lift your eyes up to see her. already staring at you. but you couldn't break away from the eye contact. especially because she just asked you something you're also asking yourself.
"y/n. tell me. do you like ayato?"
despite having a smile on her face as she asked this, her tone was rather cold. it sent shivers down your spine. you don't know why she's asking this. but you also don't know the answer to that question.
...do you like ayato?
"I'm..."
that was the last thing you said before you went unconscious. before that, your vision went blurry and your head was getting dizzy. how could this be? all the years you've spent serving the kamisato clan, this has never happened.
a loud ringing on your ears forced you to wake up, you could hear numerous voices as you slowly opened your eyes. your vision was still blurry but you could figure out that someone was huge was standing before you.
"it's awake."
'it's? what do these people take me for'. --is what you would have thought when you realized you've been kidnapped and the kidnappers are a group of nobushis. you look at your surroundings, counting just how many they are until you finally notice someone beside you. the traveler. she's still unconscious. looking at her made you realize that you're also tied up and is unable to speak. screaming is no use. you seem to be in a... cave? you're not so sure because you don't remember a cave this huge at inazuma. you try to recall what happened and why you ended up here until you heard something a nobushi said.
"ya think he's coming here?"
"i heard he fancies these two. of course he will."
he? who's he? considering they kidnapped you and the traveler, don't tell me they're talking about him. not lord aya--
"oh well look who's here."
your eyes widen in shock when you turn to the direction they're facing. he's standing right there. ayato kamisato has come to save you. ...and the traveler. something moves beside you and you see the traveler, already awake, with tears in her eyes. isn't the traveler supposed to be strong and mighty? you don't understand, how were they able to kidnap her. in what situation was she in for her to become so vulnerable and be captured? i mean before all of this she was only with you-- !! your eyes widen. you saw ayato, ...glaring at you.
why was he glaring? you were in a pitiful situation right now, yet he glares at you as if you commited a crime. you can't believe it but... 'don't tell me thinks... i poisoned the traveler.' archons. he definitely thinks just that. the way his eyes softens as he looks to the girl beside you confirms so.
"give us the document. maybe we'll let both of them go." one of the nobushis spoke up. documents? what documents are they talking about? you handle all the documents for ayato, could it be he's been keeping something from you? are they comparing lives to a piece of document? surely ayato would-
"no. ...who sent you?" his voice cold as ice. the world has been surprising you a lot today. how important could that document be for it to be able to compare to a person's life. "straightforward i see... too bad, if you don't give us the documents any time we'll kill both of your precious little friends and this place will blow up soon." one of the nobushis spoke up again, it was the same guy as earlier. normally, ayato would be able to beat a few nobushis on his own. but he's way outnumbered right now. for some reason he knows that you and the traveler was taken here, yet he still came alone. you look beside you and see that the traveler is now crying. compared to the mighty traveler you seem to be too calm. you shouldn't be, in a situation like this. is it because ayato is now here? although he probably hates your guts already. but you just trust him way too much.
"...not giving in eh? then let's see..."
the nobushi paused for a moment, seemingly thinking about another way to make ayato give in and for them to gain something out of him. the nobushi smirked.
"...if you give us some mora... we'll let ya choose one of them to go with. give us the documents, you all can go home safe and sound. give us none and... you'll die with them." and finally, you felt... fear. your heart was racing. you didn't know it was this bad. earlier you already knew that you're this close to death's door but you weren't panicking at all. you also don't mind dying if it was for ayato. from an early age you already knew that you had to serve and protect their clan no matter what-- even if you have to pay the price of your own life. so why panic now? is it because the nobushis are going to far with their negotiations? is it because you're knocking right at death's door? or maybe it's because you're afraid that ayato will abandon you. choosing someone else, right infront of you in a critical situation like this. but surely he wouldn't, right?
" ...traveler," he throws a pouch of mora to the ground towards the nobushis. you remember when you both were strolling around at inazuma city after dinner. when he mentions that ever since he saw you looking through the stalls but not buying anything, he figured he'd buy them for you. so he always carried a pouch of mora. for you... and not for anyone el-
".. let's go." what? are you hearing things right? but judging by the way they pull the traveler and untie her, it seems that you are. but you wish you weren't. it turns out he really would choose someone else. the traveler lunges to embrace ayato. seeing ayato slowly hug her back, patting her back to calm down her tears and letting her cry on his shoulder just made your broken heart break even further. you get it. with the traveler's back facing you as they embrace, you take a glimpse of ayato until his gaze lands on you.
" ...y/n..."
his tone was somewhat... soft. you assume on a lot of things and right now you don't wanna expect but, you are. is this his last words to me? is he telling me he's sorry? is he gonna tell me how he regrets doing this? and that he never really wanted this to happen? and that i'm someone special to him, viewing me more than just a serv-
" --how dare you."
...and his gaze turns dark. what for? you didn't even do anything. his eyes glares at you as if you both were never friends. or maybe you were never really a friend to him. and he always thought of you as a mere servant. just like the rest. you were just- too naive. so foolish. thinking you were special. special just because he went looking for you and bought medicine and special rare tea in a day when you were sick for work. special cause he always invited you for tea breaks, conversing with you and only you. special because he always relies on you, and you allowed yourself to be relied on, --when you had no one to rely on for yourself. was those years of being with him nothing for him? was it that worthless in his eyes? that you could just be replaced and abandoned any time? you thought you were someone special in his life when he treated you differently compared to others.
but what about the way you treat him?
you treat him as if you were nothing without him. because he was everything to you. you were only this happy with him. only him. if you think of the most memorable memory you've ever had, it would include him. the day you first met him, and today. the last day you're seeing ayato. you watch them slowly turn their heels to leave. and all of a sudden you spoke. you couldn't help it, you spoke without even thinking. and now you don't know what to say. or maybe-- you just don't want to say it.
"a-ayato..." 'did you ever think if me as more than a friend?'... heck- more than a worker even. you wanted to ask just that. but you wouldn't. cause you couldn't. "...thank you, but I did nothing wrong." you say as you smile. that was your final words before the traveler and ayato takes more steps towards another path, probably leading to the exit. you hesitantly and slowly lift your eyes up to take one. last. look to ayato and... the traveler. and last time your eyes were playing tricks on you, but now you realize it wasn't. cause she was smirking again. smirking at you. leaving you to death.
anger. shame. resentment.
fury rises inside of you. you were raised to be patient with others. it was your job. so you've never felt this way for someone before. you wanted to scream but you couldn't. all you could think about was the traveler.
...the traveler!! the traveler!! the traveler.
it was all because of her that you're in a state like this. ever since she came, things changed. she was the person ayato replaced you with. the person he chose to spend the rest of his life with. and the reason why he threw away all of his memories with you and treated you like nothing. he chose a girl he just met instead of a childhood friend companion who has done nothing but pledge loyalty to him. now that you think about it... for ayato you would risk your life for him, die for him even. but he wouldn't do that for you. he only showed up for the traveler when you thought he came to save you.
it felt like your world was crumbling right before your eyes, watching them walk away, leaving you to death. you could mean that literally since anytime now you might be reduced to nothing but also... ayato is your world. to you he is everything. growing up with him, growing with him. he really is that special to you.
too bad,
he doesn't even see you as anything more than a servant. to him you were, not. special. at. all.
their footsteps has slowly faded away. they left. they've left you. behind, to die. it seems... this is it. you hear the nobushis chuckling and talking amongst eachother,
"geez... what a show! anyway.., are the preparations complete?"
"really? then we could go!"
"where did she say we would meet her again?"
"that bitch... making us do all of this. if it weren't for the mora then I wouldn't have agreed."
her? who's her? who's she? these thoughts seem all too familiar, and once again, you got your answer quickly.
"oh the traveler asked us to meet her at jinren island." a nobushi replied. just when you thought your hatred for her couldn't get any worse. however your thoughts were completely cut off when the nobushis all started leaving you. not even batting a single eye. you remembered them mentioning something that would leave you to ashes here. what was it again? if you recall quickly it was probably a-- "a bomb," --a nobushi says to you. as if he could read your mind. "a few minutes from now, once we all leave, this place will get wrecked. including... you." the nobushi laughs. you have never been this lonely before. i mean, you always had ayato beside you. but now that he personally left you for someone else- who do you have now? you have no answer for that. or maybe it is the answer. nothing. no one is there to help you. your reason to live is gone. atleast, you served your life's purpose before you die. you were never really that close to others including your family because of ayato. so you have nothing to lose now. but... you wish you could atleast take revenge on the traveler... even though you hate that idea. revenge isn't something you would even consider but.. the traveler is a different case.
today has given you particularly a lot of last things. like your last thoughts just now. before feeling a strong burst of energy and the brightest light you've ever seen. and everything turns dark.
...your eyes are closed and you can't move your body. but you're hearing something... footsteps? oh, a voice.
" ...how pitiful,"
you fall into deep sleep once again after feeling such an electrifying strike on your back.
... just who was that?
#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin x you#ayato x reader#ayato x you#ayato x y/n#kamisato ayato x reader#kamisato ayato x you#genshin angst#rai! ✍️#genshin one shot#genshin oneshots
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Talking in your sleep
ও summary: you hear your boyfriend say things while he sleeps.
ও cw: leon kennedy (re4r) x female reader! fluff, established relationship, him being a sleepyhead!
ও wc: 900
a/n: so i have this little headcanon... that when leon is deep in sleep, he talks while he sleeps... and that's all, it came to me listening to the song by the romantics :p something small (i think) i hope y'all like it =]
You love being with Leon.
You always learn something new with him day by day. Either from the anecdotes of him training in the military, or those (scarce) of him training to be a police officer.
At first he was a closed man, without the slightest desire to open his heart. You changed that, and now you are his little treasure.
There are still things that he hasn't finished showing but as you told him in a memory of your first date, you can go little by little.
Lately, you've learned more about small details and habits that he wouldn't feel comfortable showing around other people, you see more of him as a person.
So, you find yourself mesmerized by every new thing you see in him. Every detail, whether of his body or his personality.
Tiny moles, some acne marks on his cheeks, that stubble that never grows. His hair? How is it so soft and pretty? His fingers feel rough but his palms are very soft, probably because of the fingerless gloves he wears on his missions. His legs are strong but they are cozy when you sit on them for a cuddle session. His arms serve to warm you on those cold nights, and he loves to sleep cuddling next to you.
You also noticed that in public he is usually not a big fan of displays of affection, but in subtle ways he lets others know that you are not available. Hand on your waist, hands intertwined, kisses on your forehead, he offers you his jacket.
But at home? He pampers you as you deserve. Kisses everywhere, hugs from behind while you cook something for both of you, when you are very tired of wearing heels and you get home he doesn't hesitate to pick you up. And the list can continue.
Now... There's a little problem.
It may be silly, but it doesn't stop you from being insecure. And it's ridiculous to be!
But... The times Leon has said I love you are counted. You even think you can count them on the fingers of just one hand.
And you understand that everyone has different languages to express their love to their loved ones... But you bombard him with "i love you's" every day and he responds with a kiss on the cheek.
It sucks to feel insecure about that when it is obvious that the man loves you, even more so knowing that he is still a closed guy about several things.
But still, you can't help it.
You adjust the sheets in your shared room, lying on the bed, followed by Leon who lies on his side. You look at him and smile as you lean down to place a kiss on his forehead to which he smiles slightly. "Is that a good night kiss?" Leon asks as he settled down next to you, resting his head on your chest.
"Mhm, so you have nice dreams." You responded to which the smile on his face remained. You wrapped your arms around him and let out a sigh. His cool skin greeting your hands as you delicately ran them down his back, feeling his muscles relax.
Leon always sleeps without pajamas, and if it's cold he only puts on cotton pants. He says it's enough for him to have you and the sheets to keep him warm.
"Sleep well baby." He says as he similarly wraps his strong arms around you, a firm grip but not so tight as to hurt you. "Sleep well, Lee."
And with that, between small, lazy smiles, you fell asleep.
Until you started hearing things.
Your sleepy mind does its best to bring you back to consciousness, and you come across an image so sweet that it made you smile.
Leon remained asleep on your chest, one arm thrown over your stomach. His cheek was pressed against one of your breasts and made his face bulge, his lips remain in a small pout. You wanted to kiss him until you were tired. But you noticed that he was very asleep.
One of the things you learned about him is that Leon is a light sleeper. At the slightest noise he wakes up.
Leon's missions, in addition to the horrors that come with doing his job and especially the stress, make it very difficult for him to sleep as peacefully as he is doing in your arms. So you are relieved that you can give him a little comfort to sleep so peacefully.
So, you gently ran your hands through his hair, which made him let out a sigh and move to cling closer to you. That made you stop for fear of waking him up, but what he did next surprised you.
You noticed how his lips (still pouting) parted slightly and the noise that made you wake up came from him. You were no stranger to this, as Leon sometimes had nightmares, but this time it was very different than usual.
"Mmph... B-baby?" His voice made you open your sleepy eyes, did you wake him up?
No... He's breathing very calmly. You doubt he's awake.
He tries to hold onto you tighter and tries again, "Babe..." His voice sounds thick and hoarse from his time asleep, and you hesitantly decide to answer him. "Yeah?"
"I love youuu..." He mutters, that made you smile. "I looove you sooooo muuuch." It was funny in a way, his voice was muffled by his bulging cheek.
A small but almost imperceptible giggle took over you. "I love you too, Lee."
That interaction filled your heart with warmth, feeling happy that in his dreams he had the courage to tell you that he loved you. But what you didn't believe was that he would spend the next... Thirty minutes babbling about how much he loves you.
Well... You're probably going to wake up with a headache, but certainly that insecurity that he doesn't tell you that he loves you so often disappeared.
a/n: well, i'm not that sure about this one BUT i like to post silly little things =] i wasn't sure what to say to justify leon saying i love you to reader while he's sleeping LOL sorry about that
i had four exams this week and somehow i managed to approve them so my little treat is writing ;p
i just know this man TALKS embarrassing corny things while he sleeps and i just want him to nap in my arms 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
thanks 4 everyone for reading this, likes, comments and reblogs are very appreciated 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻 that's all for this time, bye-bye
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#resident evil#leon kennedy fic#leon scott kennedy#leon kennedy fluff#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy re4r#fluff#leon fluff#fluff fic#leon scott kennedy fluff
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Spooky Queer Books
Since spooky season is starting, I thought I would share a list of my favourite queer books that are great for this time of year.
Some of these links are affiliate links.
It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror
Joe Vallese
Horror movies hold a complicated space in the hearts of the queer community: historically misogynist, and often homo- and transphobic, the genre has also been inadvertently feminist and open to subversive readings. Common tropes--such as the circumspect and resilient "final girl," body possession, costumed villains, secret identities, and things that lurk in the closet--spark moments of eerie familiarity and affective connection. Still, viewers often remain tasked with reading themselves into beloved films, seeking out characters and set pieces that speak to, mirror, and parallel the unique ways queerness encounters the world.It Came from the Closet features twenty-five essays by writers speaking to this relationship, through connections both empowering and oppressive. From Carmen Maria Machado on Jennifer's Body, Jude Ellison S. Doyle on In My Skin, Addie Tsai on Dead Ringers, and many more, these conversations convey the rich reciprocity between queerness and horror.
Into the Drowning Deep
Mira Grant
The ocean is home to many myths, But some are deadly...
Seven years ago the Atargatis set off on a voyage to the Mariana Trench to film a mockumentary bringing to life ancient sea creatures of legend. It was lost at sea with all hands. Some have called it a hoax; others have called it a tragedy.
Now a new crew has been assembled. But this time they're not out to entertain. Some seek to validate their life's work. Some seek the greatest hunt of all. Some seek the truth. But for the ambitious young scientist Victoria Stewart this is a voyage to uncover the fate of the sister she lost.
Whatever the truth may be, it will only be found below the waves.
But the secrets of the deep come with a price.
The Devouring Gray
C. L. Herman
After her sister's death, seventeen-year-old Violet Saunders finds herself dragged to Four Paths, New York. Violet may be a newcomer, but she soon learns her mother isn't: They belong to one of the revered founding families of the town, where stone bells hang above every doorway and danger lurks in the depths of the woods. Justin Hawthorne's bloodline has protected Four Paths for generations from the Gray--a lifeless dimension that imprisons a brutal monster. After Justin fails to inherit his family's powers, his mother is determined to keep this humiliation a secret. But Justin can't let go of the future he was promised and the town he swore to protect. Ever since Harper Carlisle lost her hand to an accident that left her stranded in the Gray for days, she has vowed revenge on the person who abandoned her: Justin Hawthorne. There are ripples of dissent in Four Paths, and Harper seizes an opportunity to take down the Hawthornes and change her destiny--to what extent, even she doesn't yet know. The Gray is growing stronger every day, and its victims are piling up. When Violet accidentally unleashes the monster, all three must band together with the other Founders to unearth the dark truths behind their families' abilities...before the Gray devours them all.
Tell Me I'm Worthless
Alison Rumfitt
Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends, Ila and Hannah. Since then, Alice's life has spiraled. She lives a haunted existence, selling videos of herself for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep. Memories of that night torment Alice, but when Ila asks her to return to the House, to go past the KEEP OUT sign and over the sick earth where teenagers dare each other to venture, Alice knows she must go. Together, Alice and Ila must face the horrors that happened there, must pull themselves apart from the inside out, put their differences aside, and try to rescue Hannah, whom the House has chosen to make its own. Cutting, disruptive, and darkly funny, Tell Me I'm Worthless is a vital work of trans fiction that examines the devastating effects of trauma and how fascism makes us destroy ourselves and each other.
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Baldur's Gate 3 Characters with Virgin Reader
18+ only obviously. Dirty headcanons under the cut. (these are all the "good" endings btw
Halsin would honestly be a little in awed shock when you tell him. He'd treat you tenderly, go slowly and save the more rough lovemaking once you're accustomed to his...girth.
There is a lot of emotional connection that goes into the intimate act and knowing its his partner's first time would mean a great deal to him, he takes the perceived responsibility seriously.
Yall would have to go slow though, to accomodate the guy's size. Has strength as his dump stat yet is built like a brick house.
He's all for the game of seduction, especially if he is still unsure of where he stands with you and your party.
When discovering you're a virgin he acts the part, flirting and using honeyed words to manipulate your heart.
However as the two of you grow closer his feelings also change and he feels anxious about knowing he has your utter consent before taking things further.
He knows what it feels like to be used and wants to avoid causing you the same hurt and feelings of doubt, because against all odds he has begun to care for you.
So much foreplay...SO much foreplay. And you can be in whatever position you want, it's all about your comfort when the time comes to be intimate.
yeah she'd tease you at first, all in good fun, but still she has to get those sharp words in somewhere.
Soon enough the teasing gives way to concerned questions, not probing too deep into your feelings, but enough to give her hints as to how comfortable you feel with her.
We all know Shadowheart is a slow burn romance, so expect a long buildup while your relationship blossoms.
Lots of sweet kisses and witty flirtations, respecting each other's space until the time feels right to take it to the next level.
perhaps it's after one of your many swimming lessons where you Shadowheart takes the reins and becomes the teacher of a different kind of lesson.
She'd be asking questions throughout, listening to your responses and making sure everything is perfect and you're not feeling rushed.
Oh she would be so sweet. You know how Karlach is usually quite boisterous and tends toward the goofy side.
She'd sober up right quick when you discuss something so personal with her and she'd be quite pleased you decided to share this with her.
She promises to take it easy on you, at least at first wink wink, and she has the idea to allow you full control to explore her body as much as you wish.
Feel her heart, or at least where her heart used to be, it blazes hotter under your touch.
She might pop the occasional sweet joke, but her eyes and her care is on you the whole time.
She will ask if now is okay, and make sure to gain your express verbal permission before touching your body herself.
She is gentle at first, as promised, but it becomes hard for her to contain her enthusiasm as your coupling progresses. Remind her if you deem it necessary.
Gale, he'd be surprised but I think pleased.
He would want you to feel comfortable with him, and thus would info dump about his Tressym and the many books he's read about magic and the weave.
It's all about words of affirmation and quality time with Gale, he wants to show you and tell you how much you truly mean to him and reaffirm it is you, not Mystra, with whom is explosive heart now lies.
When the night comes, because he does prefer the romance of a star filled sky, he would ask you if you wish to become one with him.
Maybe astral sex is too soon for the first night, but you can certainly accept when he no doubt extends that offer.
I think it's pretty much canon that she beats the shit out of you when yall have intimate time...that wouldn't change on account of your virginity.
You'd tell her you're a virgin and she might not even know what that means, I wouldn't be surprised. Either that or she truly does not understand why you think it's important to mention.
She would encourage you to take initiative and assume a more dominant role, prodding you (probably with a stick) if you got too shy.
Later on, in her storyline when she becomes more of an individual unto herself, she will understand the softer aspects of lovemaking.
Then she will be more willing to empathize with the feelings that must come with a first-time coupling, and act a little slower accordingly.
Still prepare yourself for the occasional impatient "tchuk".
are you kidding, he'd be the ultimate gentleman.
He'd definitely get you a picnic and take you somewhere that smells better than the party camp and that stew Gale attempted to make for supper.
I feel like he'd be more forward than Gale or Karlach, wanting to feel some semblance of peace that your body and your affection could offer.
He'd for sure be drawn to your inexperience, feeling a sense of protectiveness overcome him. (yes yes I understand this post is full of innuendo)
Might wax poetic about his many adventures but pull him in for another kiss and he'll quickly forget his train of thought.
yes, I made him wait in line, little shit
This cambion knows how to fuck, sit down and block me if you vehemently disagree.
He finds out you're a virgin, and interested in him? Game over.
He plays the long game in all his dealings, and won't be bothered if you choose to play hard to get....in fact he prefers it. Cat and mouse etc.
He's not gentle, nope, but when you're finally in his claws you hardly want him to be.
Doesn't have the bonus of Incubus spittle acting as an aphrodisiac but has had many bedmates and centuries to study how best to use another's body to pleasure his own.
Oh and bring you pleasure of course.
no
Go play DOS2
#withers#bg3#baldurs gate 3#raphael#wyll#karlach#astarion#x reader#gale#shadowheart#laezel#lae'zel#drabble#headcanons#x tav#astarion x reader#raphael x reader#halsin#halsin x tav#shadowheart x tav#withers x tav
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youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
#ACLA24#ACLA24HighSchoolStudents#youtube#youtube video#climate leaders#climate solutions#climate action#climate and environment#climate#climate change#climate and health#climate blog#climate justice#climate news#weather and climate#environmental news#environment#environmental awareness#environment and health#environmental#environmental issues#environmental education#environmental justice#environmental protection#environmental health#high school students#high school#youth#youth of america#school
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