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#and as much as a head tattoo would probably be a bit awkward and painful to actually get I think itd work best for what Id want
chisatowo · 2 years
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Every now and then I think abt that one conversation with a guy who worked at the place where I took my ged tests where we talked abt tattoos and he suggested a praying mantis tattoo on the shaved side of my head and I just think damn. I wish I had money dhdkydjd
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helen-with-an-a · 2 months
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Black Eyes
Hi. So this was a request that I got for a teen!R getting jumped by a fan and the team looking out for them. So here it is - again, I have aged R up a little bit (18/19 rather than 15/16) but I hope you enjoy it.
Barca Femeni x Reader
Description: R gets attacked on her way home and the team come to her aid.
Word Count: 1.6k
TW: Injury, violence
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You hurt. That was the first thing that you noticed as you woke up. Everything ached. Your toes, your legs, your hips, your waist, your chest, your face, even your hair hurt. You knew you shouldn’t have walked through the alleyway on the way home. How many times had Lucy and Alexia drilled it into you? ‘Don’t walk where there are no streetlights’. You had initially dismissed them as the overprotective worriers that they were, but now you really wished you had listened to them.
It was a rare rainy day in Barcelona, and you were trying to rush home. You hadn’t brought an umbrella with you, because why would you? You live in warm and sunny Barcelona now, not wet and windy London. You had your doubts about going down the alley, but it would cut your walk home in half, and you were already starting to shiver.
You hadn’t seen the man hiding at the end; otherwise, you wouldn’t have gone down it. But by the time you realised someone was there, you were basically at the end, and it would’ve been more awkward to stop and turn around.
“Oops, lo siento. Gracias.” You smiled weakly as you hurried past him.
You could feel his eyes on you as you continued your walk home.
You could hear his footsteps as you picked up your pace.
You could smell the alcohol on him as he drew nearer.
You could see the large Real Madrid tattoo on his bicep.
You could taste the blood in your mouth as your head hit the ground.
You knew you should move. You needed to get up and go to training. You needed to assess the damage done to you. You needed to do a lot of things. But you just couldn’t. It hurt to blink, so the thought of the pain that would consume your body if you tried to sit up, move off the bed and walk was unfathomable.
You don’t know when you feel back asleep – somewhere in between hoping someone could take away this pain for you and trying to work out what to say to people, probably. But your phone startled you. The loud, shrill noise made you twist painfully away from the sound. You just let it ring out; whoever it was and whatever they needed from you would not be worth the pain that it would answer it. The silence was almost just as painful as the ringing – your ears buzzing in the quiet.
LUCY (5 missed calls)
ALEXIA (3 missed calls)
KEIRA (1 missed call)
The herculean effort it took to open your eyes – well, one eye; the other refused to open – was not a good sign. The buzzing started again.
JONA
“Hello?” You answered. You almost didn’t recognise your own voice for how scratchy it was.
“Hola, solo queria ver donde estabas,” Jona explained, clearly anxious over the sound of your greeting. “Son casi las 10.30 y aún no te has registrado.” You didn’t understand what was happening; your head hurt too much for Spanish.
“In English, please,” you begged. There was some shuffling on his side before a different voice answered.
“Pollito?” That bloody nickname—Lucy had christened you ‘Chick’ (short for Chicken) when you first arrived at national camp; your gangly arms and legs, too long for your body, and your timid nature suited the nickname well. And it had followed you to Barcelona. “Where are you? It’s 10.30, and you’re not here.” Ona seemed calm, if a little stressed.
“Oni?” You sounded horrific.
“Are you sick? Oh, Déu meu, you sound awful, no offence.” The stress levels in her voice sounded more intense now and did little to help the pounding in your head.
“Ow,” you croaked out.
“What? Are you ok?” You could easily imagine her face pinched with worry and concern as she tried to find someone who could help. The sound you let out did not help her calm down—you think it was supposed to be another complaint about your pain, but it was definitely an indiscernible high-pitched squeak instead.
“Vale, vale, vale. Just … just stay there, sí?” like you could move, even if you wanted to. “I’m going to get Lucy … and Keira … and Alexia,” she started listing the names of people that would be helpful in this situation. Lucy and Keira were your national teammates; you had known them for most of your professional career. You often looked to them for guidance and reassurance. Alexia was your captain; she wouldn’t take kindly to Ona leaving her out of this - she also considered you a little sister, maybe even more so than Alba. You think she ended the call, but you were slipping back into dreamland before you could be sure.
The knocking at the door was what next woke you up. It was loud and incessant. You groaned, wishing they would stop and go away. You were out of luck, however, when you heard the tell-tale signs of a key being placed in the lock and your door opening. Only one person had a key.
“Chick,” Lucy called out. You groaned even louder and pulled the blanket over your head, trying to hide yourself from the world. You hadn’t seen what you looked like, but the right side of your face hurt more than the other, as did your hands and knees, so you assumed they took the brunt of the damage.
“Chick, you in here?” Keira shouted, her voice sounding like it was coming from the kitchen.
“Pollita?” Alexia sounded closer, too close to be in any other room besides your bedroom. You moaned in response. “Ella esta aqui,” she shouted to the others, the thundering footsteps echoing painfully as they barged into your room. You felt the blanket being tugged down, and you tried to resist it, holding onto it fractionally tighter.
“Hey, no, Chick. C’mon, lemme see you,” Lucy said softly, slowly working her magic as she rubbed your shoulder, thinking you were ill and didn't want her to see you like that. You let her pull the duvet down, not liking the loud gasp she let out when she caught a look at your face.
“What happened?” she asked tightly. You mistook her firmness for anger and couldn’t help the tears as they broke free. “Hey, no, no, no. Don’t cry,” she looked like she wanted to hug you but didn’t know where or what would bring you comfort or just more pain—her arms flapped helplessly mid-air.
“¿Qué sucede? Vas a estar enferma? Necesitamos ir al hospital? Qué está pasando?” You had never heard Alexia so panicked. Keira was quiet—too quiet. She didn’t like Lucy's look of fear or the tension in her voice.
“Chick?” Lucy asked again.
“I fell,” you lied. You don’t know why you lied, but you did. You couldn’t tell her that you ignored her concerns for your safety just because of some stupid rain. You were English – you dealt with rain all the time.
“Lucía, què està passant?” Alexia marched over, gasping loudly when she saw you. “Oh, honey.” The switch was dizzying. One moment, she was angry that no one was telling her what was wrong with you, and the next, she was as soft as a feather, gently coming to kneel by the side of your bed.
“Te caíste, sí?” She didn’t believe you; no one got this amount of bruising just from a fall. And there was something about how you avoided eye contact and scratched at your nails—your go-to trait when lying. “No creo que lo hicieras, pollita. Tell me what happened.” The gentleness was unlike anything you had ever heard from Alexia—she often provided solutions, playful aggression, and (brutal) honesty. Something must have really scared her to make her behave like this. You must have really scared her.
“I—I went through the alleyway,” you said weakly. You expected her and Lucy to look at you in a disappointed way, but no such thing was shown your way—just faces full of concern and worry. “There was a guy … I don’t really know what happened.” You weren’t intentionally vague; you genuinely did not know what had happened to you.
“Ok, Chick. That was very brave of you to tell us.” Lucy rubbed a soft finger over your cheek, wiping away the tears whilst avoiding the most apparent bruising. “We’re going to help sit you up, ok? I’m on your right, and Alexia’s on your left. We’ll get you to the bathroom and we’ll have a look at you properly, ok? Keira’s in the kitchen and will get you some food and drink.” She explained what would happen before she did it, helping to guide you to sit on the toilet.
Getting up with their help wasn’t as painful as you had expected, but maybe it was because you had rested your entire body weight on them. They held a mirror up for you as you began to examine yourself. Your eye was swollen, and a deep dark bruise was beginning to appear, and your cheek had a nasty red mark on it, but the rest of your face seemed unharmed. Your hands were cut, and so were your knees. You don’t know whether it was the pain or the tiredness or the events of the last 24 hours catching up with you as you slumped forward, your brain quietening as Lucy’s soft smell encased you and Alexia’s warm Spanish flooded your senses. You could her Keira’s hushed tones as she made her way around your kitchen, clearly on the phone to someone.
“Chick, it’s okay. We’ve got you,” Lucy said, smoothing your hair down as you rested your head on her shoulder.
“Nadie te va a hacer daño, lo prometemos.” Alexia added.
And you believed them. They would definitely keep you safe.
I wasn't quite sure about the ending, but I hope you liked it <3
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luveline · 6 months
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lovely jade if you were ever in the mood to write something for remus/reader where maybe they’re out with their friends and reader can tell that remus’ pain is flaring up but he doesn’t want to draw attention to it so she nudges him to lean on her i would be forever indebted to you
Remus has a strange laugh. It doesn't quite match his voice, which is unusual too. Sometimes he chuckles but mostly he giggles, this stringing, sweet sound as he grasps your hand or your arm or your elbow. And you love hearing it, laughing yourself at Sirius’ dirty joke, but you almost wince at the amount of weight he leans into you. It's over as soon as it began, he's moving away, his smile fading with his laugh. 
You shouldn't be standing up, but the pub hadn't had a table and no one wanted to go home yet. You're waiting for an opening, a pitcher of Blue Lagoon between you all and a couple of bags of pork scratchings to ignore. Remus isn't made to stand this long, but it's not like him to mention it. 
His jeans are starched under your fingers as you put a hand on his hip. He raises his eyebrows at you, semi-suggestive. 
“She asked me who I was,” Sirius says, to Lily's disgust, and James’ poorly hidden amusement, “and I didn't have the heart to tell her. Remus ended up telling her we'd met before at a party–” 
“Is this true?” you ask, standing closer to him than you need to. 
He stares at you for a little while. Not long enough to be awkward, but longer than most people would pause. “I did feel a bit sorry for her, but she was lucky, really. Who'd want to remember a night with Pads?” 
“Don't say it like that! I didn't touch the poor girl beyond helping her put a new shirt on. Such an unfortunate tattoo, that… It'd look nice on you, though,” Sirius says, grinning at James encouragingly. 
“Think so?” James asks. 
Lily protests this idea very loudly. James would not suit that kind of tattoo, and Remus should probably put a stop to it; Sirius’ power of persuasion multiplied by the danger of friendship (i.e. egging each other on relentlessly) could genuinely result in James getting a tramp stamp of the Welsh dragon before the night ends. 
He's distracted, is all. Shifting from foot to foot, pulling his arms behind his back to prompt a click he won't get. You nudge him gently, and when he meets your eyes, you lean toward him deliberately with your shoulder clear for the grabbing. At the same time, you press your arm behind his back. 
Miraculously, he accepts the offer of support. Remus wraps an arm around your shoulder and lets the majority of his weight rest on your centre of gravity, exhaling through his nose. 
“Am I too much?” he asks, turning his head from his friends, his breath warming the shell of your ear. 
“No. Lean on me as much as you want to.” Want, you say, rather than need. 
Remus will appreciate the difference. He sighs as the pain in his back starts to ease off. If anyone were to look at you both, they wouldn't see you supporting him, just a lovers hug. You kiss his cheek a couple of times all squished together —one kiss or multiple?— before you lean away to brush soft strands of his hair behind his ear. “You okay?” you ask. 
“I'm okay,” he says with a nod, a real grin on his lips as he does as you'd done, kissing your cheek. “I'm too tired for this. Do you think James can afford laser tattoo removal?” 
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liketolovexx · 2 months
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I want some drama and angst :( can you write a james x reader fic? They broke up and couple months later she find out shes pregnant? She went to tell james but then he told her he’s dating lily and thats why she didn’t tell him cause during their relationship she was always feeling insecure like she can never be lily and always felt like shes the second choice. Someone that he settles for? Then she move away?
James find out couple weeks later after she moves away that shes pregnant bcs of the potter tapestry. So he went to find her (i want him to work and grovel a bit lol)
Of course I can, lovely!! Thank u so much fir the request <3
Sorry that it isn’t the best, I’m really tired 🫶
Feel free to send in requests for me to get to though!!! Love you all
You’re pregnant? ~J.F.P
{In which you and James have broken up, and you haven’t told him you’re pregnant.}
It had been weeks since you and James had broken up, and it had left you pretty torn up. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that you were still in love with him. You were just as smitten as you were in the beginning, and he had, presumably, completely moved on. You hadn’t heard from him once since the breakup, and it had really ruined you.
With a little help from your friends, you eventually got back on your feet. You read, listened to music, watched movies. You were yourself again. However, your heart was still tender, and James still unknowingly held ownership over it. Things went okay, as of late. Thing we’re looking up. Until you started throwing up in the early morning, and were overcome with dizzying fatigue. When you missed your period, again, you started to worry. You decided to overcome the embarrassment of buying a test and get one from the corner shop.
That was probably the worst night of your life. Impatiently, you stared unblinkingly at the pregnancy test that lay on the table before you. When the unholy little pink cross faded into view, your heart dropped. You hadn’t had sex with anyone, not since James. Which only meant one thing. Suddenly, you couldn’t breathe. Falling forward onto the table, You crept a hand up to your chest, grasping at it as choked sobs started to tear through your throat. Everything was numb, but so excruciating at the same time. Your arms wrapped around your stomach loosely, shakily. The scar of James’s old love for you engraved in your body. He could love you and decide to take it back whenever he saw fit, pretend you two never happened, but you now had the solid evidence of your love in your womb. And you had no doubt the child would look unfairly like its father. And its father had to know he was just that. A father.
The next day, face red and blotchy from crying nearly all night, you dressed in the nicest clothes you could find without being too formal, and made for your ex-lover’s house. The address you’d memorised. Cruel nostalgia threatened to kill you as you took in the painfully familiar path to the painfully familiar door. When you knocked, the door opened to reveal an agonisingly familiar man. James. His face twitched in confusion. You knew his little tics and giveaways like the back of your hand: you had all of his features and quirks tattooed into your heart. His smooth voice saying your name ripped you out of your thoughts. “What are you doing here?” He asked you, and you smiled weakly. You looked at your feet. “James, I’m sorry, I’m-“ “Jamie? Who is it?” Another voice called. A honey-sweet, beautiful voice. Lily.
Freckled arms wrapped around James’s waist. Silky red hair cascaded down his shoulder when Lily placed her head on his shoulder. His face shifted in awkward shock, as he went rigid under her touch. “Lily, Uhm.. it’s…” he mumbled, nodding his head towards you. It felt like your heart had been ruthlessly ripped from your already sore chest. You were expressionless, unable to breathe and unable to deal with the agonising aching pain that throbbed unbearably inside of you. Oh, god. You felt like you were going to throw up. You nod stiffly, eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Lily.” Lily looks almost guilty, but doesn’t remove her soft arms from around James’s middle. She addressed you back, gentler than you did.
“What did you wanna say?” James asked quietly, face flushed slightly. “No. Nothing.” You murmur, turning on your heel. You needed to go home. You felt like you were about to black out. Is this what it felt like to have your heart shatter like glass in your chest, shredding up everything else? You wanted it to stop. You heard him shout your name after you, but the world around you felt muffled, and far away. It should be you with your arms around his waist, not the girl he told you not to worry about when you were dating. It should be you fixing his glasses, playing with his hair, raising his child with him. You’d always been insecure about Lily. She was beautiful. Flaming red hair, mossy green eyes, soft curves and plump lips, a kind aura and glowing smile. You knew you couldn’t compete with her. In your eyes, James would always love Lily, and you were a second choice. He couldn’t have Lily, so he settled for you. Tears had begun to drip down your cheeks, but the feeling was all too regular now, and you felt too empty to care.
James had sat on the sofa with Lily after he’d closed the door. He rested his head in his hands, visibly raging. “What the fuck was that?” He almost spat, glaring at her through his eyebrows. He’d never display this anger to you. “Sorry, James, but you were the one who broke up with her. And she deserves-“ “stop it!” James interrupted, his voice trembling. “I know! I fucking know she deserves better! But…” His lip twitched, a sign he was furious. “We’re over, mate, you know that. And you’re my friend, so I don’t know why you’d do this to me. You fucking know I love her. You know, Lily.” He says, his steady tone cracking at the end as he buries his head in his hands. He suppresses tears of his own. Lily moves over to him, trying to take him into a hug, which he accepts, always in need of physical touch while upset.
“Lily, I don’t know what to do.” She sighs, rubbing his back softly. “I won’t take back that she deserves better. Because she does. You broke up with her, James. But, I know you. And I know love when I see it.” Lily says, petting his hair. James was staring intently at the wall, frozen in place, not even sobbing anymore. “And if you really, really love her, you need to go to her, James, because-“ “Lily.”
Her eyebrows furrow, looking at James who’s still staring at the wall with wide, watery eyes. He looks fucking scarred, like a soldier in war. He looks devastated. Lily follows his gaze, and her eyes fall onto the potter tapestry which hangs pride of place above the fireplace. Her eyebrows twitch downwards as she leans forwards.
Between your full name in gorgeous italics and James’s in the same font, was another name. The name you’d planned to embellish your child with. Lily froze right beside James. She turned to him. Slowly.
“You need to go to her. Right fucking now, James.”
He turns to her, and slowly nods, wide eyes reminiscent of a terrified puppy.
You were curled up in your bed. You’d run out of tears a while ago, and so you lay there in silence. Not moving. Not sleeping. Not doing anything. You were numb and empty and so tired. You couldn’t find it in you to cry anymore. When there was a frantic rapping at your door, you couldn’t even drag yourself up to get it. Did it really matter? You felt like you were chained to the bed. You’d just rot there forever, you decided. until you heard a desperate voice screaming your name from outside. Immediately, you recognised it.
James.
Hesitantly, you crept down the stairs and clicked open the door. At the sight of how ruined you looked, James let out a pathetic whimper: his glasses were askew and his hair was messy, his face tear stained. He was beautiful even now. “What do you want, James?” You spoke blankly, not a single suggestion of emotion creasing your face. “I know you’re pregnant.” He admitted. Just when you were about to ask him ‘how?’ He dropped to his knees before you.
He was so pretty like this. James’s eyes were big and teary and betrayed what little sleep he’d been getting. His soft pink lip was wobbling like a baby’s, his glasses were seconds from falling from his nose, and his hands were clasped together as he knelt, looking up at you desperately.
“I- I’m in love with you. I need you, I fucking need you.”
He whimpered, shuffling closer to you and pressing his forehead to your legs. “Please take.. take me back.. I want to raise my baby with you.. you’re my only love, you always.. always have been…” he pleaded, his heart wrenching and his voice cracking like a teenage boy. He sounded downright pathetic.
You knelt beside him. “This time, Jamie.” You whispered, and he gasped in relief, collapsing into your arms. You let a weak smile embrace your features as you consoled him. “I love you too.” You confessed. “Only you. Only ever you.” He clung to you tighter. “I’m never leaving you again. I pinkie promise. My girl. Mine.” He promised, linking his pinkie with yours in a heart-wrenching act of childlike innocence. You were confident it would work this time. Now that you both knew how life felt without each other.
“Okay. Pinkie promise.” You replied.
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year
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Chapter 2 to this post which can also be found on ao3 here
When Steve woke up, he groaned in pain.
His back was not designed to sleep on small couches that looked older than he was. His head was also not very pleased with his situation.
And that was before everything came crashing back to him.
He looked down at his wrapped wrist, eyebrows furrowed when he realized it didn’t hurt anymore.
How long was he asleep? How long was it supposed to hurt? Maybe the pain in his back and head was enough to distract from the pain of the tattoo he’d gotten.
Before he realized what was happening, frustrated tears were falling down his face, his lip curling as he tried to fight the emotions welling up inside him. He didn’t even know what emotions he was feeling, just that they were too much.
He heard someone shuffle into the room, but didn’t look up from where he was staring down at his wrist. He assumed it was Eddie, and he didn’t want Eddie to see him crying again.
There were hands on his cheeks, thumbs brushing away his tears as he pretended that he wasn’t actually crying.
Whatever was going on was kind of ruining his reputation, not that Eddie even knew him enough to know of his reputation.
“It’s alright, sunshine. Did you just wake up?”
“Yeah.”
His voice was broken and raspy, barely audible even after clearing his throat a couple of times.
“Sorry the couch isn’t very comfy. I didn’t expect you to completely fall asleep. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Just. I. I don’t know.”
Eddie searched his face. He was looking for something, and Steve kind of hoped he’d find it so he knew what the hell was going on.
“I think you’re dropping. It’s okay. I’ve got ya.”
And for some fucking reason, Steve believed him.
He fell forward into Eddie’s chest, letting Eddie wrap his arms around him and hold him close.
He listened to the calming beat of Eddie’s heart and felt the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out.
He’d had panic attacks before. This wasn’t one of those.
He’d been so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed before. This wasn’t that.
He’d even been unable to stop crying before. This didn’t feel like that.
This felt like he was lost in a void and no one would ever find him. He’d have to crawl through this overwhelming darkness and silence on his own.
But he felt Eddie’s warmth. He felt his hands gripping the back of his head and back. He felt Eddie’s breath against his hair, every exhale making it move just enough to make him shiver.
Eddie was pulling him from the void, making it easier to feel and see his surroundings. He was able to hear Eddie singing softly to him, not a song he recognized, but one that was slow enough to keep him calm as he eased back to reality.
He didn’t want to move, but he knew he was feeling good enough to give Eddie space. He really didn’t want to though.
Not even a little bit.
As he pulled away, Eddie’s hands gripped tighter, keeping him against him.
“A bit longer, sunshine. You’ll be okay.”
He believed him.
Something about the way Eddie spoke made him feel like he could find his way out.
He relaxed against him, unclenched his fists and jaw in a way he probably hadn’t in years. He tried to copy the way Eddie was breathing, but he kept getting caught up in a wet sob.
“Focus on my voice, sunshine. You feel it against your ear? You hear what I’m saying?”
Steve nodded against his chest.
“Good. You’re doing so good, Stevie. Breathe in for me.” Steve did. “Out.” Steve did. “So good. Again. In. Out.”
Steve was breathing in and out as Eddie instructed him to. It was easy to have direction, to let Eddie guide him through something so simple.
Steve would feel awkward about it later. Alone in his room.
And he’d never see Eddie again and never explore what just happened and definitely never tell Robin.
Oh god. Robin.
She probably thought he was dead.
“How long?”
Eddie kept rubbing his back as he answered.
“Two hours. Not long. I was gonna wake you up soon anyways. I’m closed for the night.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
Eddie shushed him and pulled him even tighter against him.
“Nothing to be sorry for. Once I saw you were out, I met with my client and finished up closing stuff so I could get you out of here safely.”
“Oh.”
Steve still didn’t know what he was feeling. He knew he probably owed Eddie a lot for getting him out of it, but he was also banking on never having to see Eddie again or explain himself.
“Would Robin know what to do if you drop again?”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
He felt Eddie sigh. He tried not to take offense, but like, how was he supposed to take it any other way than he was officially a pain in Eddie’s ass?
“Hey. Look at me, Steve.”
Steve looked. Of course he looked. He was like a dog learning new tricks at this point.
“I can call Robin if you want. I can talk her through what to do.”
“Um. Is it…like this?”
He didn’t mind Robin touching him, that wasn’t it. It was more that Robin was touch averse, and rarely did more than give him a quick hug of comfort if he needed it. It’s not that she wouldn’t be willing to try whatever this is, but he didn’t want her to have to.
“Well. It depends on the person. But it seems to be working for you, so yeah, probably.”
“I don’t think she could.”
“Do you have anyone else you trust who might be free?”
Steve didn’t have to think about it. No. He had Robin and his job.
He shook his head and sniffled.
How pitiful.
He reminded himself again that he’s crying and making a fool of himself in front of a stranger. Sure, Eddie did his tattoo, seemed nice, seemed to care that he was taken care of.
Which was a red flag to Steve.
Why does this stranger care so much?
“Why do you care?”
Steve pulled away despite every nerve and bone and muscle in his body wishing he’d stay wrapped up in Eddie’s arms. He watched as Eddie’s face spent a few moments circling between amusement, hurt, and anger.
“I care because you have no idea what’s happening and it can be dangerous for you if you don’t have someone around who does.”
“And you do?”
“I know enough.”
“But you don’t know me.”
“I think I’m starting to.”
Steve didn’t like the sound of that at all. He doesn’t let people know him. He hadn’t even told Eddie anything.
“Can you explain what the hell is happening?”
Eddie sat down on the couch and pulled Steve down so his head was in his lap.
How did he manage to do that so quickly? Why did Steve let him?
Why was Steve more relaxed now than he’d been in years?
Fingers played with the ends of his hair as Eddie spoke softly.
“You went into subspace. I didn’t notice at first, but when I looked up for the first check in, I could tell. Glazed over eyes, one word answers, cheeks red. You were letting me move your arm like a rag doll.” Eddie scratched at his scalp and he couldn’t help letting out a moan. It felt good, sue him. “Do you remember me checking in?”
“Um. Kinda?”
Steve was trying to focus on Eddie’s voice again, but the way his hands scratched at his scalp had his eyelids dropping.
“You were under the whole time. I tried a few times to get you focused, but it didn’t happen. I’m pretty familiar with it so I didn’t panic.”
“What happened after?”
“You mean the drop?”
“Yeah.”
“It happens sometimes. You crash too hard after or you don’t have someone to take care of you or both. Sometimes it happens even with those things not being a problem.”
“And that’s happening? To me?”
“I think so. Normally by now I’d probably be okay with you going home and taking it easy, but you didn’t even know what was going on. You’re gonna have to let me be a little bit dramatic about it.”
Steve would’ve rolled his eyes if he were able to, but unfortunately exhaustion was creeping in again.
“You can rest your eyes, sunshine. I’m right here.”
That shouldn’t make Steve feel safe. Or relaxed. Or content. Or happy. Or loved. Especially not loved.
But it did. He did.
Well, fuck.
— — — — — — —
Steve managed to send a text to Robin and made sure she could see his location just in case.
Eddie made sure she had his number and address, too.
Steve was feeling more present, but still unstable. He was thinking too hard, but couldn’t work through his thoughts in a way that was helpful.
This shit was for the birds.
He was telling Eddie the truth that he had no idea what was going on and that it had never happened to him, but as he rode to Eddie’s apartment in the passenger seat of Eddie’s car, he remembered an instance not too long ago with someone he hooked up with.
They’d been messing around in the bathroom of the club, Steve against the door of the stall, and the guy (Alex? Adam? Anders? Who knows.) pulled both of his wrists together and held them above his head tightly. He let his eyes roll back and the next thing he knew, the guy was finishing him off furiously with his hand down his pants.
But he hadn’t gone through this dropping thing Eddie was insisting he was doing right now.
Eddie seemed to know what he was talking about, so he believed it, but he found it hard to believe something as simple as a tattoo could do this to him.
Eddie kept a firm grip on his thigh the entire way to his place.
“I don’t want to risk things getting worse. Usually it helps to have physical contact.”
Steve didn’t want to admit he was right, but the hand on his thigh did help keep him centered and focused.
He stayed quiet for the ride, letting Eddie’s voice singing along to the radio be the only noise in the car.
When they arrived at Eddie’s house (he had a whole house?), Eddie turned to him with a soft smile.
“Tired?”
Steve nodded.
“Let’s get you inside so you can sleep it off. Feel okay other than that?”
Steve shrugged.
Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Can you use your words, Sunshine?”
Steve opened his mouth, but stopped just before he was going to say something.
Hm. He knew what he wanted to say, he knew how to get his mouth to say it, but his voice wasn’t working with the rest of him to get it out.
“Okay. That’s alright. Let’s get you inside. Water and a snack, maybe a bath?”
Steve shrugged again.
Eddie knew what was best for him, so he’d let Eddie decide.
That just felt easier.
TAG LIST: @invisibleflame812 @inmoonywetrust @captain-daryn
Chapter 3
722 notes · View notes
oflights · 8 months
Note
Could I somehow persuade you to post a snippet featuring adult Harry from the Star Splitter? 👀👀
just for you, anon!! i debated which one to snip and almost posted adult harry's very first encounter with draco, but that felt too much like a Moment to tip my hand on early, and so i decided to go for some classic, contextless healer potter in action hurt/comfort instead. enjoy!
“I can offer spell-relief for your throat and muscles, but it will knock you out,” Jack says softly. “If you’ll permit me—”
“No,” Draco says, shaking his head. He can’t be knocked out. He has to do—something. He doesn’t know what exactly, but the urgency and fear running through him can’t afford sedation right now.
“Fine. If you won’t let me do it here, let me take you back to mine and—”
“Absolutely not, I have to—” But the words cost him, throwing him into a rasping coughing fit as his throat strains.
“All you have to do is calm down and get well,” Potter cuts in, drawing Draco’s gaze back. He’s rummaging beneath his own lopsided toga, frowning until he pulls out what looks like a small satchel that expands as soon as he pulls it out of his pocket. Potter flips the satchel over and sifts through a number of vials and brightly-colored plasters with various cartoon characters depicted on them.
“You can’t—don’t make me—” Draco insists, coughing again.
“Draco,” Jack says very firmly, in a voice that never fails to make him snap to attention. “Stop talking. You’re hurting yourself.”
“Ron,” Potter suddenly barks out, and Weasley scurries over, giving Draco a very awkward look that plainly states how uncomfortable he is feeling bad for Draco. Potter leans up to say a few soft, unheard words in Weasley’s ear and then settles back in next to Draco when he jogs off. To Draco, he says, “We don’t have to knock you out to make you feel better. Just sit for a moment and catch your breath. It’ll be all right soon.”
“This isn’t a Niffler bite or a Kneazle scratch, Potter,” Jack says from his other side; Draco turns towards his voice again instinctively. “Draco’s a grown wizard suffering the aftereffects of an Unforgivable; I think you’re a bit out of your comfort zone.”
“My comfort isn’t the issue here, Camphor,” Potter says, the disdain in his voice so clear that Draco’s just grateful it isn’t directed at him for once. “Draco’s is.”
“I just think—”
“I’ve changed my mind,” Draco says, gritting his teeth around the pain, as Weasley returns holding a steaming goblet, handing it to Potter, who barely notices for bickering with Jack. “Knock me out, Weasley. I can’t listen to these two.”
Weasley manages a weak grin at him. “Been waiting years for another chance at that, Malfoy. Probably would if Harry wouldn’t knock me out.”
Potter huffs where he’s now bent over the goblet, emptying a few vials into it and stirring the contents with his wand held over it. He’s rolled up the sleeves of his jumper, revealing the various brightly-colored flora and fauna tattoos running up and down his forearms. Draco’s never seen them up close like this, at least not close enough to recognize the stag and the lilies that now have meaning for him, too, and he has to glance away, his thoughts a traitorous jumble.
“Too right,” Potter mutters at Weasley, which doesn’t help with the thought jumble, and then he holds the goblet up to Draco’s face. “Help him sit up more, Camphor, come on.”
“What’s in it?” Draco asks as Jack sighs but moves to help him, sitting behind Draco instead of at his side.
“A touch of Calming Draught with a splash of Muscle Pain Reliever and a dab of Bowtruckle honey for your throat,” Potter rattles off, not looking offended that Draco had asked. Then he ducks his head, strangely bashful, before adding, “Oh, and erm—chocolate. The sugar will help and—yeah.”
He holds the goblet out further and, when Draco’s hands come up trembling too much to hold it, he just gestures with it a little more insistently.
Ignoring Jack’s next sigh, his gusted out, “Draco, really, just let me—” Draco leans forward and sips from the goblet in Potter’s hands.
“I like chocolate,” Draco mumbles after the first swallow soothes his throat. It tastes divine, sweet and warming and healing, making him more able to handle the knowing, watchful look that Potter keeps on him, to deal with just how well he knows that gaze now.
“I know,” Potter says with a small, kind smile. It’s like nothing he’s ever seen from this version of Potter before—for Draco, Potter has only ever had scowls or sneers or frowns, taunting smirks or arrogant, teasing grins. It’s so eerily similar to his younger self, who gives Draco that sort of smile all the time, that Draco has to duck away from it, looking instead at Jack.
Who is glaring at Potter with the force of the sun.
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frankaben · 1 year
Text
under the eyes
Fucking her is filthy. She doesn’t want me. She wants my pain. For all I know she would kill me if she could. She looks into my eyes and fucking dies herself. That’s what girls want. To die in your eyes. If there’s no blood then there’s no love. She grinds her teeth and bites my lip. I thought I might bleed for a second. Her eyes light up and she pulls me down. Maybe this is what dying feels like. I feel like her hands are burning my back and her saliva may poison me. Like a snake, I saw her fangs. Her black hair kind of floats. Flying in a sandstorm, cast by my orange lamp. That’s the only thing that’s lighting the room. Other than her eyes. I feel her getting close. Her eyebrows melt, running down her cheeks and melting with her tears and sweat. The favorite drink of Satan. I just kind of watch.
I get up and walk outside. It’s cold but it’s the cold I need right now. It feels like an escape every time. Because of me? Or because of them. My legs are the only thing that’s really getting too cold, and I go inside. I lie down next to her on the couch and put her legs on mine, like burning lumber. I imagine her being a warm fire burning next to me. I close my eyes and drift off a bit. She’s watching a documentary about sea animals. I’m engulfed by warmth and blue light. I told her she could stay over, and she did. The bed is still warm. When will our eyes meet? Look at me, I want to see you. It’s ok, I feel you wanting to cry. It’s ok, I won’t watch. I ask if she’s ok, and she tells me that she is. I know it’s not true, but I can’t blame her, she probably doesn’t know.
Lampshades shut in heat; diffused flames. Grainy air around the light. Orange sand, just floating. I smell your smoked cigarette beside me. You’re awake all the time, what are you thinking about? Is it me? Maybe I would hurt you. it’s not easy to stay true to your emotions but maybe we have to. We should be more aware of what we are feeling. Your snake tattoo licks your shoulder. Maybe it will bite sometime. For now I can look at it though. What makes your heart beat? Is it the darkness and the solitude? Maybe you can tell me sometime.
For now i just like lying here, with your blue snake sleeping in the warm sandstorm of my lamp.
The moon turned red. It’ hot. My head leaning against the window, it’s cold. I’m glazed with sweat and moonlight on my forehead. I’m burning, I swear I’ll die in here. Somehow, I fall asleep.
All the girls I hurt, how could I not hurt myself? I just want to hide in my clothes. I don’t want anyone seeing my face today. What if anybody notices? I know they won’t because no one is smart enough. Still, I’m too worried. I don’t want to have to explain myself by not explaining. No one cares, did you notice? Hardly. Some poke, but only a few dive. You can see how people feel. Have you noticed? Tears lurking are tears glazing their eyes. I can’t help but wonder if they know. What if everyone thinks just like me. I swallow a pink pill that I split in half. Chase it with some coffee and vermouth. I look at myself in the mirror. It’s bizarre, don’t you think? I can look at my own face and I’m intimidated by it. I’m awkward around myself. Maybe because I feel like we have lost touch and split paths along the way. Some eyes bleed and some don’t…
Everything is in the eyes, your soul glows through. Everything you feel and everything you are. Told by a single gaze, one chance. There is no way to fake. Maybe. Psychopaths maybe could put on a convincing fake. My black hoodie is stained and my beard has grown since I last shaved. My hair turned dark and my eyelashes could solve every problem I run into. Can you have too much power? Maybe. If you’re smart enough to figure out a way to abuse it. You don’t have to be cruel to justify all your actions.
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apocalypticgargoyle · 3 years
Note
Gene... My baby mama... I need... More alt!dream... Whatever you got fr. I just need more I'm.. I love him (probs not as much as you) but I love him
You're in luck bc I'm running on rip fuel for him. [ALSO I WROTE THIS BEFORE EVERYONE DID THE TECHWEAR STUFF FOR HIM I'M SORRY. I'LL GET IT IN NEXT TIME. I PINKY SWEAR.]
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𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐃. ♘ 𝐚𝐥𝐭!𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 (𝟏𝟖+)
pairing: alt!Dreamwastaken x fm!reader
warnings: smut (18+), language, semi-public sex, light mentions of needles, domination
previous part ♘ fanart that i can't stop crying over
recommended listening: Hi Frequency by Vague002
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The bus swayed slightly, your grip on the cool bar tightening to keep you from knocking into Clay as it turned. The dark city outside the windows bustled with sparkling lights, catching your eye every few seconds. As more people filed into the cramped space, Clay grabbed your hand, looping your arms around his waist and smugly grinning as you fought not to blush. He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Will this be your first time in a parlor?” He asked, voice low and raspy as he whispered to you, not wanting to disturb the other members of society who just wanted to get home after a long day of work.
You nodded your head, making him chuckle. You knew it would be a different experience, mainly because it was taking place during the tattoo shops “after hours,” which Clay had only briefly explained the benefits of attending. “What are you getting done again?” You asked, moving so your hands were holding onto his arm instead, fingers brushing against the exposed skin peeking from beneath the cut-up shirt under his dark jacket.
He shrugged. “I couldn’t decide. Why don’t you pick?” He joshed, smirking at the way your eyebrows raised.
“I don’t want to be responsible for a mark on you,” you murmured, making him snort.
He hooked his fingers into the neckline of his shirt, stretching it down enough to reveal the litter of hickeys peppering his skin that you had left the night before. Your eyes widened as you swatted away his hand, looking around carefully in hopes that no one had seen them. He looped an arm around your shoulders, loving the fact that you were so worried about the crowd when all he wanted to do was fluster you.
He pressed his lips to your cheek, the warmth of his body encompassing you. “I love it when you get all blushy,” he teased. “Seriously though, you should pick. I won’t look at it if I don’t like it,” he snarked.
You groaned lightly. “Clay, come on.” He brushed his lips against yours.
“I trust you, sweetheart,” he cooed almost mockingly, his nose moving to press into your hair.
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying your best to remember what was already on his body. You thought about the impending reality that whenever he saw the new tattoo, his mind would linger on you, and for some reason, heat traveled to your ears at that thought. “Um… what about a bird?” You asked, voice uneasy as if on eggshells.
His face twisted into a pleased smile. “A bird?” He repeated. You shrugged beneath his arm, making him chuckle. “I like that. George likes doing bird tattoos too, so you might just make his night,” he added, his praise and approval making your stomach fill with confidence. He pulled you closer, his lips brushing against your shoulder. Your mind began to forget what the two of you probably looked like to the other people as his scent invaded your senses. “Will you hold my hand while I’m in the chair?” He joked.
You scoffed. “Are you gonna cry?” You teased, making him chuckle.
“No, I’m just clingy,” he answered without skipping a beat. Your grin was hidden in the soft corduroy of his jacket.
The tattoo parlor was nothing like you had expected. The door was locked behind you after a bouncer let the two of you in, the man leading you two up a staircase and into a dimly lit room. The sound of heavy metal music and the buzz of tattoo guns swirled together, echoing off the dark brick walls. You slipped your hand into Clay’s as he talked to the receptionist, your eyes attempting to focus on one detail instead of letting the atmosphere overwhelm you.
The thick layer of smoke above your heads made you scoff, realizing it was coming from the opposite corner of the shop, a hookah lamp sitting on a coffee table like an outstretched octopus. The people around it seemed to be discussing something rather intense, their haircuts sharp and defining almost as if they stepped out of some kind of alternative fashion magazine. There were three tattoo artists, each with a white lamp focusing on their work as they carried on to the beat of the music.
Clay’s description of the place flashed into your mind, making you realize just how off the cards the parlor actually was. Clay took a toothpick from the receptionist’s desk, taking it between his white teeth before being waved down by a shorter man with dark hair across the floor. You followed closely behind him as Clay greeted the man; you quickly realizing that this was the famous George.
As Clay shrugged out of his jacket, George pulled out a binder, standing beside you as he flipped to a page with scattered drawings of different flight poses of birds. Your eyes drifted away from the page as Clay’s arms came into view. His old t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off was doing wonders for his biceps. Before you knew it, the two of you agreed on a mix of a few designs resembling a crow and Clay was laying on his back with his hand tucked behind his head. The spot he was filling was in the dead center of the flesh of his upper arm; a spot that George had grumbled about being awkward to reach, especially on someone as large as Clay.
You watched closely with curious eyes as George began to tattoo the design on Clay’s arm. Clay’s other hand was wrapped around the back of your elbow as you leaned on the chair at Clay’s side. His finger pads drew circles into your skin as you asked George about how he got into tattooing, making small talk here and there.
You liked George, mainly because he was quiet until he conjured up some kind of relentless backhanded comment. His tattoos revolved around a giant tree stretching from his back and down his arms. You wondered how long he had to sit for it and what the healing process was like. As he worked, his teeth played at his snake bite piercings, his dark eyes focused intently on the work in front of him.
Clay switched his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, his hand tightening around your arm with a small groan as George reached a sensitive spot. “Don’t be such a pussy,” he grumbled, continuing his work. He stopped, cleaning off some of the sprayed ink and filling a new cap with grey. “You have any work, pretty girl?” He asked you, voice low and charming.
You shook your head, earning a small tsk from him. “This is the closest she’s been to a tattoo gun,” Clay prided, making George sarcastically raise his eyes.
“A total virgin, huh?” He joked, winking at you. “Dream’s not corrupting you, is he?”
You chewed the inside of your cheek trying not to blush. “I’m trying,” Clay leered, smirking at you with his smug ego hinting at his lips.
George bit back a laugh. “Don’t get horny in my chair,” he muttered, eyes trained on the lines he was scaring into Clay. “Speaking of, I heard you got busted up by Punz, and by the looks of it… seems right,” he commented, gesturing to Clay’s eye that seemed to have started fading finally.
Clay let out a dry laugh. “His ribs are still healing,” you added, making George smirk with a shake of his head.
“You know what all that’s about right?” George asked you, taking his foot off the pedal to grab more paper towels from his desk. You looked up at Clay whose jaw tense as he chewed on the toothpick. After you shook your head, George continued. “Punz’s sister is stupidly in love with Dream,” he plopped back in his seat, swiveling his chair, and drawing a hand through his locks, revealing the bleached undersection. You had the fleeting mental image of him tying his hair back to reveal it.
He pulled on a new glove. “Madly in love, huh?” You pried, twisting your chair closer to Clay’s shoulder. Clay rolled his eyes at the fact as if he had been bugged about it for years. “You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend, Clay,” you teased, and he looked up at you with a tired expression, making you bite back a giggle.
After George finished, you followed Clay through the door, breathing in the fresh air; or as fresh as it could be in the midst of the city’s industrial square. Clay’s fingers knitted together with yours as he led you down an alleyway, flicking aside the toothpick. You chewed on your lip in anticipation before he pinned you against one of the walls. His devious grin sent shivers down your spine as you looked up at him.
You swallowed. “Shouldn’t you take it easy? Let your arm heal a bit?” You asked, voice coming out in a soft whisper as his lips pressed against your neck. “Won’t it hurt a bit with your ribs, too?” Your heart hammered in your chest at the fact that someone could turn the corner and catch the two of you.
He chuckled against your skin, slipping his hands beneath your skirt to grip your ass. “I like the pain,” he mused, tongue grazing against your skin as he pulled your hips against his. He kissed you hungrily as if not being able to press his body against yours for that hour was too much for him. His hand dropped to wrap around the back of your knee, moving his own leg to prop your thigh up against his hip as your hands dug into his hair.
The friction from his jeans made you moan into his mouth as his hand moved beneath your shirt, fingers fitting beneath your bra to palm your breast. He mumbled praises against your lips at how good you made him feel and how beautiful you were.
He turned you, your hands planting against the coarse brick as he ground his hips against you. You bit your lip, trying not to be loud enough to draw attention to the two of you, which seemed to be the last thing on Clay’s mind as you heard him unbuckle his belt behind you. You could practically picture his cocky grin, controlling eyes set as his hand gripped onto your hips, shoving your underwear to the side. “You were so much fun to show off tonight,” he chided darkly, lips brushing against your shoulder. “Such a good girl.”
As he pushed into you, one of his hands moved to knot into your hair. He moaned at the feeling of you clenching around him, tugging on your hair as he pulled your hips back against his. A low grunt tumbled from his lips as he set his rhythm, basking in the fact that you were secretly ready for him to ruin you as soon as you stepped into the parlor.
His fingers moved to wrap around your neck, the thought of his tattooed hand tightening around your pristine skin sent shivers through your body and heat flushing your cheeks, the tension in your body tightening. As he pressed you closer against the wall, you thought about the power he had over you; his height and build would make it easy for him to break you if he wanted, yet even as he pounded into you like he wanted you to forget your own name, the restraint he showed was enough to send you over the edge if you let yourself divulge in the thought.
Clay pulled out of you, only to turn you, your shoulders hitting the wall again with a soft thump as he hoisted you up ever so slightly, thrusting up into you as his hand dig into your thigh, the other resting against the brick beside your head. Your arms looped beneath his jacket, raking down his skin as you held onto him.
He groaned as your thighs tightened around him, making his hips stutter as if he were trying not to let himself finish too early. He dug is face into the crook of your neck, burying his teeth in your neck to stifle his grunts of your name. Your head tilted back against the brick, hand moving to tighten around the wrist that was beside your head for some kind of anchor.
His hand wrapped around your waist, driving himself deeper into you, brushing the part of you that needed him the most. You moaned, carding your fingers into his hair as he pressed his lips to yours roughly, wanting to taste your pleasure as it washed over you from his movements.
You tugged on his hair, making his cock throb inside of you, him finishing inside you with a low groan, his hips snapping against yours to stimulate a reaction from you. The feeling of his sloppy pleasure as his movements lost their rhythm sent your hips grinding against his, his teeth marking your shoulders as a reminder of his work on you.
Your toes curled, finally reaching your orgasm as he murmured dirty expressions of him ruining your pretty clothes against the wall. As he pulled out of you, your knees felt weak, threatening to buckle beneath you. You tried not to give off how much he had trashed you, but the warmth snaking down your thighs and your bliss-ridden mind proved otherwise.
Long story short, the bus ride home was rather interesting.
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Dream Taglist: (follow this link to be added :))
@karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @more-like-reyna @honk-izzie-was-taken @marrymetheonott @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @savingpluto @marshmallow-babe @drunkpumpkincake @unstableye @tinyegg @behzzyboo @darphobic @twist3dtinkerbell @sparkletash @lindsayhunz @shroomieissmall @mintmochiii @clubfairy @aroyaldarknessblr @camerondiaz48104 @madsbbg @victory-is-here @rat-poisin
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orobaxi · 4 years
Text
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aftercare.
since he tends to be quite rough during sex, he makes sure to give you extra care afterwards. you won’t need to raise a finger – he’ll wipe you off, offer you water & painkillers, & give you anything else you ask for. & although he won’t apologize verbally if he accidentally injured you, you’ll be able to tell that he’s sorry from his actions.
body part.
he loves your eyes. so full of emotion – so full of lust for him & him alone. from the way your pupils dilate when he takes off his shirt to the way they roll into the back of your head when you orgasm – fuck, he loves them so, so much. on himself, his strength. although he dislikes how he struggles with controlling it sometimes, he’s still proud of it.
cum.
oddly sweet, & on the thinner side. however, there’s always a large amount of it – which is probably caused by his thousands of years of abstinence. anyway, it’s almost required to have a washcloth for immediate cleanup.
dominant/submissive.
he’s almost always dominant, & will only be submissive after you’ve gained the entirety of his trust. before that point, though, he’ll act offended if you even suggest it.
experience.
absolutely none. you’ll be his first, & you’ll have to help him a bit at first. he’s never had the time to masturbate or have sex (he didn’t take interest in anyone anyway), since his job of protecting liyue & its people was prioritized over anything else.
favorite position.
in all honesty, he doesn’t have a favorite. as long as he can hear your whimpers & moans, he’s perfectly content. however, considering how much he loves your eyes & facial expressions, he may be a fan of missionary.
goofy.
since he rarely jokes around anyway, why would he during sex? to him, sex itself is an act of true love – & i’m sure he’d take offense if you attempted to joke around with him during this time. why would he have sex if it’s not going to be a serious moment? why would he have sex if you treat it as a joke?
hair.
although he doesn’t shave, he trims it once it reaches a certain point – one inch, to be exact. half an inch is the most comfortable for him, but he tends to put off trimming until that point. if you ask him to trim further, however, he’ll happily comply.
intimacy.
constant mumblings about how much he loves you, typically followed by praises concerning how well you’re taking him; growling in your ear & degrading you, telling you how much of a slut you are… it depends on his mood, really. jack off.
jack off.
in all honesty, he rarely masturbates – the thought itself makes him uncomfortable, & he doesn’t have much time to do it anyway. the closest he’s gotten to masturbation was dry humping one of his bed’s pillows out of pure frustration.
kinks.
begging, light bondage, edging… those are the things he can name off the top of his head, at least. he’d enjoy anything that you’re into, though – seeing you in pleasure is enough for him to get off. he does have some limits, but you’ll have to figure them out together.
location.
although he prefers to have sex in private areas, he’s open to the idea of fucking you in the many ruins scattered within liyue. well, as long as its nighttime, that is. he frequently fantasizes about bending you over the wangshu inn’s balcony, forcing you to take him until you’re shaking, crying from a mixture of pleasure & pain, & begging him to let you have a break.
motivation.
dirty talk & teasing touches have a surprising effect on him, however, if you were to simply inform him that you want him, that’ll be enough of a reason for him to fuck you. teasing touches must be done in moderation, & you’ll have to play your cards perfectly if you want a positive response from him. ideally, these touches should be done either in private or just out of others eyesight, & should be followed up with light dirty talk. whisper how much you need him & how you don’t know how long you’ll last without him – tell him you’ve been craving his touch for hours & whimper his name… he’ll make time to fuck you.
no.
weapons of any sort will never be allowed during sex. he’s far too afraid of seriously hurting – or even accidentally killing – you, & he doesn’t understand the possible thrill you may feel from it. otherwise, almost anything is on the table.
oral.
surprisingly, he prefers giving over receiving. he wouldn’t know what he was doing at first, but he’s almost a natural at it. perhaps it’s the way he listens to the sounds you’re making & looking up at your facial expressions that inform him that he’s doing good, or it’s your quiet moans of praise that tell him all he needs to know. if you need to, you can gently guide him; pull his hair towards where you need him to be, tell him that he needs to swirl his tongue a bit more… xiao can’t help but feel a bit awkward & insecure when he’s receiving oral, however. he loves the way you make him feel & the way you look up at him with half-lidded eyes, but he can’t help but wonder if you’re truly enjoying it as much as he is. either way, he’s sure to inform you of just how good you’re doing – both through his words & his body language. struggling to keep his hips from bucking, throwing his head back ever so slightly, the slight shake of his legs… it’s a heavenly sight, that’s for sure.
pace.
teasingly slow & gentle, taking his time to savor your expressions & the sounds pouring out of your mouth; rapidly pounding into you & making you see stars, continuously bringing you to your orgasm with little care for your comfort. it depends on both of your moods, really. he won’t be rough with you if you don’t want him to be, & he expects you to have the same respect for his wishes.
quickie.
very, very rarely, as he’d much rather wait until the two of you had time for a long session. however, if you insisted that you couldn’t wait, he may succumb to your desire.
risk.
while he dislikes sexual risks of any kind, he’d be willing to indulge you if you requested.
stamina.
he can continuously fuck you for hours on end, with the only hindrance being your own energy & his adepti responsibilities. occasionally, he’ll give you a break for an hour or so, & then ask if you’re ready to go again – if this is met with a negative response, however, he’ll refrain from doing it again.
toys.
while he doesn’t own any, he’ll be pleasantly surprised if you have some. he’ll be nervous about you using them on him, but he’ll gladly use them on you. while he’ll never purchase any toys himself, he won’t complain if you buy any.
unfair.
he’ll only tease if  you attempt to tease him first, but he’ll always beat you at your own game. he’s bold enough to tease you under tables & make out with you in places that are barely out of the eyesight of others – whispering about what he wants to do to you, gently biting your neck, & then pulling away to leave you shaking with want.
volume.
when he’s dominant, deep moans & growls are typical of him. while he’s typically quiet, there are times where the two of you are glad he put silencing talismans throughout the bedroom – otherwise, the entire inn could hear him. “you’re more needy than i thought you were… you’re perfect.” “you’re taking me so well. i’m almost done, don’t worry.” on the rare occasion that he’s submissive, surprisingly feminine whimpers & groans will fill the air. he’s quite insecure about this, & thus constantly attempts to muffle himself with a pillow. if there’s nothing nearby for him to muffle himself with, he’ll try to use his hands – if his hands are tied, though, you’re in for a treat. “sh–shit, right there! fuck–” “it’s too much, it hurts–! i need more, please–”
wild card.
when he orgasms, his tattoos glow ever so slightly. he isn’t sure why, though, & he’s oddly insecure about it. after you tell him how you feel about it – how hot it is to you – those insecurities will slowly fade.
xray.
just below average length, but he makes up for the slight loss with the fact that he knows exactly what you need him to do in order to make you cum – & he’s amazingly talented with his fingers.
yearning.
he never felt much desire before, but this changed soon after the two of you got into a relationship. there’s periods of time where he doesn’t think about sex at all, but then there’s times where his sex drive skyrockets. despite this, he won’t bring the idea of sex up to you unless you ask first – he still feels a bit shy about his desires.
zzz.
xiao rarely gets tired, & he’s usually the one to clean up any messes afterwards. since he knows you’re tired, though, he’ll lay down with you until you fall asleep. however, he still has to preform his duties as an adeptus, & you’ll wake up without him more often than not.
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sucker for pain ~ machine gun kelly
word count: 1494
request?: yes!
“can you please do a colson one where the reader is getting their first tattoo and he’s by her side then he realizing they have a pain kink and yeah”
description: in which he finds out his girlfriend has a kink he’d never imagine she’d have
pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader
warnings: swearing
masterlist (one, two)
*i changed it from the reader getting their first tattoo because i missed the “first” part when writing for some reason i’m sorry i hope you still like it!*
gif credit to @poppy-in-the-woods !
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“Are you sure you want to get a tattoo on your ribs?” Colson asked as you waited in the lobby for your next tattoo. “You know how much that hurts, right?”
“It’s one of the more painful places,” you said. “I know that. Have some faith in me, baby, I’ll be fine.”
Colson still looked skeptical, but decided to drop it. You were stubborn and you were set on getting this tattoo, he knew he wasn’t about to talk you out of it.
You had decided a week or so back that you wanted to get a tattoo in honor of Colson. Instead of something small, like his initials or his name or something, you decided to get your favorite of his lyrics tattooed on your ribcage. You even had him write the lyrics out so you could get his writing as the font for it.
It was a bit big of a tattoo, and you were getting it in a very painful place, so Colson was worried you weren’t going to be able to handle it when the tattoo started. He insisted he wanted to come with you to be your emotional support if nothing else.
“Hey (Y/N)!” your tattoo artist, Mack, said as he walked into the parlor. “You’re early! Wanna get started now?”
You shrugged. “Yeah, why not?”
“Okay! Follow me in.”
You followed him into his area and he pulled the curtain across to block the view of anyone from outside. He turned back to you and Colson, eyeing your famous boyfriend for just a moment. “So, he does realize you’re going to be shirtless for this entire thing, right?”
Colson chuckled and nodded. “I’m aware you’re going to be starring at my girlfriend in just a sports bra for like an hour or more. Don’t worry, I’m cool with it.”
You could see Mack’s shoulders slump as he sighed with relief. “Okay good. You would not believe how many boyfriends lose their minds over their girlfriends having to take their shirt off for a tattoo, even if their tits aren’t actually out. If (Y/N) wasn’t a regular, I probably would’ve turned her down for this one just for my own safety.”
You laughed as you began to unbutton the blouse you had decided to wear - much easier to get back on once the tattoo was done. You laid down on the table and Mac started to line up your tattoo on your ribs.
“Last chance to back out,” Colson said as he sat down next to you.
You shot him a look. “Why are you so intent on me giving up on this because of pain?”
“She’s a tough chick, man,” Mack agreed. “I don’t think she’s ever flinched while I’ve given her a tattoo. It’s like she gets off on the pain or something.”
You shot a glare at Mack that he didn’t see as he was back on to you before relaxing your head back on the table. Colson looked at your curiously, making a mental note of what Mack had said.
The tattoo began and Colson took your hand in his. You looked over and smiled at him for a moment, wincing slightly when the needle touched your skin first. The pain suddenly radiated through your ribcage, but it didn’t bother you the way Colson had expected it would. You would wince every now and then, but you still had a light hold on his hand.
When Mack was finally finish, the black letters were bolded by the red of your irritate skin. Mack cleaned it and placed the bandage over the fresh tattoo. “I won’t give you the spiel on how to take care of this thing for the next few days.”
“You’ve said it so many times I think I know it word for word at this point,” you teased. You winced as you sat up from the table, both from the pain from the tattoo and from the stiffness of your back. “God, you guys need more comfortable tables. Feels like I was lying on the floor for an hour.”
“You’ve been there before, you know how uncomfortable it is.”
You playfully stuck your tongue out at him before turning to Colson. “What do you think, babe?”
Colson’s eyes studied the tattoo for a moment, still processing the fact that you got a major tattoo on your ribcage and barley flinched the entire time. “It looks really good. Is it what you wanted?”
You smiled. “Of course it is! I have something to remind me of you forever now, which means please don’t break up with me. It’ll cost so much to get this removed or covered.”
Colson chuckled and also rose from his seat. “I promise babe.”
You pulled your button up back on and headed to the front to pay for the tattoo. You couldn’t help pulling your shirt up to look at the tattoo once more as you and Colson started walking towards the door.
“Mack is probably the best tattoo artist I’ve ever been to,” you said. “He’s just phenomenal. I don’t think I’d trust anyone else the way I trust him.”
“He seems to know you pretty well,” Colson commented. “Like the fact that you seem to be into the pain that comes from getting a tattoo.”
You felt your face heat up as you tried to look away from Colson. You kept your voice as light as possible as you said, “Yeah, well, I’ve gotten a few tattoos at this point. I’m just used to the pain of the needle I guess.”
“I’m literally covered in tattoos and sometimes the pain is still unbearable for me,” Colson pointed out.
“We’re different people, Colson. Different people handle pain differently.”
Colson looked over at you as you tried to avoid his eyes. You wished you had been the one to drive so that you could get out of this awkward situation a lot sooner.
“Babe,” Colson said. You sighed and finally turned your head to look at him. “You know I am the last person to judge you on your kinks, right?”
You nodded. “I know, but...I’m just worried what your reaction would be if I straight up told you that I have a pain kink.”
“Well, for starters, I’d tell you that you’re dating the right guy since all I do is hurt myself.” You chuckled at this. “When did you realize you got off on pain?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know. I was a teenager I think. It might’ve been when I got my first stick and poke tattoo. All my friends hated the pain and complained for days, but I found myself kind of liking it. When I started having sex, I’d ask my boyfriend at the time to choke me or spank me, basically anything that caused the slightest bit of pain.”
Colson shuffled in his seat, a bulge beginning to grow in his pants that he was hoping you wouldn’t notice.
“Not all guys are into the idea, weirdly enough,” you continued. “I’ve been with some guys that consider it a deal breaker. I even had a one night stand just completely stop having sex with me because I kept telling him he wasn’t being rough enough. I guess I just associated that negative reaction with the kink in my mind and never wanted to tell you in case you thought the same way.”
Colson chuckled. “(Y/N), I have a foot fetish. I am literally the last person you have to worry about thinking your pain kink is weird.”
You smiled. “Yeah, you have a point. I just don’t wanna scare you off. I like you a lot, Colson.”
Colson reached over and took your hand in his, giving it a slight squeeze. “You won’t scare me off. I wanna know what you’re into, and what will make you feel good when we’re having sex.”
“You make me feel good anyways,” you assured him. “But, if you’re really interested in getting to know that side of me more, I could show you exactly what I’m into.”
"Even though you just got a new tattoo.” You gave him a look, which caused him to laugh. “Okay, fair enough. I’d love to learn, although it may take me a long time, fair warning.”
“I’ll give you all the time you need.”
Colson smirked and leaned over to kiss you passionately. You turned as much as you could in your seat to cup his face and deepen the kiss, slipping your tongue into his mouth for a short while. When you pulled away, Colson nipped at your bottom lip, which caused you to clench your thighs together in anticipated pleasure.
“Get us home before I climb on your lap in this parking lot,” you told him.
Colson didn’t have to be told twice. Within seconds, he had the car started and was racing out of the parking lot and back towards his house.
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lovclyboncs · 3 years
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Everything I Wanted (Todoroki x Reader) Soulmate Au
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inspired by Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish.
TW! Mentions of contemplated suicide and insecure thought that could be triggering.
soulmate Au! Where your soulmate tattoo appears on your wrist after you touch your soulmate for the first time.
F!reader x Todoroki
F!reader x Bakugou (brotp)
Plot: the reader is Todoroki’s soulmate, but he doesn’t want to let some mystical ink on his wrist dictate who he should love, so he rejects reader as his soulmate. This story is about how reader first reacted to the rejection and how slowly reader lets herself heal, but what the universe wants it will get.
Part two out now!
This is my very first post on here! I hope you guys enjoy!
I had a dream I got everything I wanted Not what you’d think And if I’m bein’ honest It might’ve been a nightmare To anyone who might care
Every night you’d wake up drenched in sweat, panting as you tried to calm your breathing, tears staining your rosy cheeks. Every night you had the same nightmare, you wished it was just your mind overthinking, but sadly it wasn’t. Even in your dreams you’d replay that memory in your head over and over again.
“ I’m sorry (y/l/n), but even if your name is tattooed on my wrist and even if fate says we are meant to be together, I can’t return your feelings. My heart belongs to another. I’m truly sorry if I’m not what you expected as a soulmate.” He told you with nothing but sincerity in his voice. The sad and hurtful truth. 
“I-It’s okay. I understand Todoroki-san. Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine” You said holding in the need to cry, and the need to let the crawling feeling in your throat free, to scream and yell how once again this world was nothing but cruel. 
He gave a slight nod of his head before walking away from you. His other half as written by the universe and written on your left wrist.
You looked down at the floor clenching your fists and look up once again to see him standing with the rest of the A-1 class who was chatting as they waited for class to resume. A lone tear raced down your face.
“I’ll be fine” You whispered to yourself.
‘I have to be’ you thought.
As a young girl all you ever did was fantasize about your soulmate. You thought it would  be a dream come true for you when you would finally get to meet them. You would get your happily ever after like in those princess tales you’d love to read before going to bed. You thought you’d have the perfect white picket fence life to look forward to. 
As a young foolish girl you thought life would be easy.
you didn’t know your parents were going to sacrifice their lives to save others.
you didn't know that you weren’t quirkless and that your parents had been using ‘vitamins’ to suppress your quirk because of how dangerous it was when your emotions went haywire.
you didn't know that it wouldn’t get better contrary to what your therapist would tell you.
you didn’t know that you weren’t going to make as many friends as you had hoped you would.
and what hurt the most was that you didn’t know your soulmate wasn’t going to be your knight in shining armor like you had hoped. 
Thought I could fly (fly) So I stepped off the Golden, mm Nobody cried (cried, cried, cried, cried) Nobody even noticed I saw them standing right there Kinda thought they might care (might care, might care) 
It had been a month since Todoroki rejected you as his soulmate. You thought you could've gotten over it  but as always it seemed like the universe wanted to punish you for just existing. You didn’t participate in class anymore, You made sure to cover your soulmate tattoo so that no one would accidentally look at it, you didn’t tare your gaze from the floor, you thought that  it wouldn't hurt as much if you didn't have to look at him, but then the rumors started spreading and then the rumors weren't so much of a rumor. 
“ Todoroki and Momo made it official!”
“ I knew they were soulmates, I mean just look at how perfect they look together.”
“ Did you see the picture Momo posted of their soulmate tattoos? I'm so jealous!”
It was all too much for you, so you ran and you ran until you found yourself on the rooftop of U.A. and you let the tears you were holding in fall. 
You let the monster crawling at your throat free, letting yourself scream, letting yourself voice the hurt you had been bottling up.
why weren't you good enough for anyone?
not good enough for your parents to live for, they would rather die for others than to live for you. 
not good enough for your classmates, they barley talked to you or invited you to places like they did with each other. 
not good enough for your soulmate to want you. hell he’d rather cover you up than let people know fate had chosen you for him, were you so disgusting that you weren't even worth mentioning as the soulmate he rejected?
“stop” you whispered to your thoughts.
“ please just stop” your voice sounded hoarse.
“I just wanted everything to stop. To end” you said louder to no one, because no one was there, because no one cared. 
you slowly walked towards the edge of the roof and looked down at the ground.
your eyes were void of anything, they looked empty.
shakily you put one foot out into the nothingness, into the only thing that could stop you from letting the pain overwhelm you. you closed your eyes ready to fly.
‘This world is so cruel and yet so beautiful’ you thought before letting your eyes snap open and gasping.
your eyes regained a light and tears began to swell once again, you let yourself fall backwards away from the edge of the building.
Yes the world was cruel and life wasn't fair, but it was also beautiful. there was still so much you wanted to experience, still so much that would be worthwhile. 
after sitting on the floor for what felt like hours, you heard the distance sound of the bell signaling the end of lunch. you slowly picked yourself of the ground and cleaned your tears with the sleeve of your uniform jacket. 
you made your way back to class 1-A. you were the last one to walk in, and some of your classmates glanced up at you, but they didn’t say anything about your puffy red eyes, they didn’t ask why you weren’t at lunch, they didn’t ask how your day was going so far, they didn’t ask if you were okay. 
because you were not okay.
you once again felt a heaviness in your chest. 
you thought they would care at least a bit, they were heroes in training after all, yet it seemed like they hadn’t even noticed.
they hadn’t even noticed your absence and maybe they didn’t mind it in the slightest. 
I had a dream I got everything I wanted But when I wake up, I see You with me
Maybe you were too wrapped up in your own mind or maybe you finally lost it, but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out how you ended up like this. Eating spicy noodles quietly with your class’ very own lord explosion murder sitting across from you.
If you were to ask Bakugou why he demanded you have lunch with him, he’d say it was because your dumbass face was the only one he could stand enough to willingly share his homemade noodles with, and if you were to ask him why he was sharing noodles in the first place, he would tell you to shut the hell up and just eat without questioning him.
What Bakugou would never admit is that when he was roaming the school grounds during lunch two weeks ago he saw you standing at the very edge. He stood frozen in place, not sure of what he could do, but before he could will himself to move he saw how you feel backwards and out of his sight. He knew why he froze because he remembered a comment he made to deku before they entered U.A. He obviously didn’t mean it, but seeing you so willingly to just dive of a building made something in him feel guilt for making such an insensitive comment even if it was to deku.
He really didn’t know you well. He knew that he had never actually seen your quirk in action though probably more than half of the class could relate to that since you never really used it. He knew pretty much that he didn’t know you at all and that unsettled him. Sure he wasn’t the most sociable guy or easiest to approach, but he at least knew a couple of things about each of his classmates friends.
So he decided to pay more attention to you, he noticed how you really didn’t talk to any of your classmates and how they wouldn’t try to include you in their conversations. He noticed you always walked with your head down not really looking at where you were going. He noticed the bags under your eyes making themselves more prominent. He noticed how sometimes when you would space out in class you’d be staring at the back of the class where the half and half bastard would sit. He became aware of your being but he still didn’t know how to approach you.
The opportunity came after an awkward encounter.
Everyone (or so you thought) had gone out to who knows where and like always you hadn’t been invited. You decided to train for a little while. You had been slowly progressing with being able to control your quirk, but after your conversation with Todoroki you were back at square one. Your emotions were a train wreck making it hard to control your quirk. Becoming frustrated with yourself you decided to call it a day but since you were sweaty you went to take a shower first. You forgot to take your clothes with you, and since you were by yourself in the dorms you didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if you ran to your room. Midway there you bumped into a wall that wasn’t there this morning. You looked up and there was Bakugou looking down at you.
‘Oh shit I’m going to die’ you thought but then you saw Bakugou frown as he looked directly at your uncovered wrist.
‘Shouto Todoroki’ Bakugou narrowed his eyes. He finally understood why you had been acting more closed off than usual, and maybe if you had looked a little harder you wouldve seen the understanding in them.
“Sor-” you began to say but he cut you off
“get dressed and meet me in the kitchen” he said before walking away.
After that day things changed for you. Who knew eating noodles in silence with an angry blonde could set you on your path to healing?
Every time you saw them holding hands you didn't have enough time to let yourself question what you could have done for that to be you.
“hey dumbass hurry up or I’ll kill you” the red eye blonde would yell at you once he noticed you lagging behind. Making you forget about the black ink on your wrist and making you worry about how bakugou was going to react to you getting a C- on the test he spent a whole afternoon helping you study for.
And you say, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to If I could change the way that you see yourself You wouldn’t wonder why you’re here, they don’t deserve you”
It was close to the end of the school year and if you were to say that much hadn’t changed you’d be lying. 
thanks to practing your quirk with bakugou and him suggesting meditation to help you stay calm you were finally able to control your quirk enough to use it without fear around others.
Through him you also became friends with the rest of the bakusquad and they helped you warm up to the others.
all the second guessing and the comparing yourself to others didn’t cross your mind often anymore. 
unbeknownst to you every time you peeled off the layers of insecuirty that held you back from expressing yourself bakugou would smile glad that you,just like him, could get passed the pain left by an unrequited soulmate bond.
also unbeknownst to you, as you began getting along with the rest of the class and opening up, he couldn’t help but be captivated by some of your quirks. How you would help the likes of denki study even when you weren’t better off yourself, how you were the only one who entertained Midoriya’s rambling and even added comentary.
He began to get to know you and he could see how the universe could’ve blessed him with a soulmate such as yourself. you were the complete opposite of what he was used to, the todoroki home wasn’t exactly the most affectionate.
He was seeing you bloom right before his eyes and all he could feel was guilt as he diverted his eyes to look at his left wrist.
‘Momo Yaoyorozu’
He softly caressed his thumb over the name and even with his soft touch the fake dark ink smuged.
He thought he had what he wanted.
He thought the universe had been wrong. 
He thought it was for the best.
but as he saw you bickering with bakugou he found himself wondering what he could’ve done for that to be him, for you to be open with him like that.
he knew he was wrong but he was too far in to fix it.
If I knew it all then would I do it again? Would I do it again?
lastly Todoroki knew that even if you found it in yourself to forgive him, he still wouldn’t deserve you. 
Thank you so much for reading this far if you did! I don’t know why I couldn’t get this out of my head and so here it is. Also I threw in an AOT reference to cope with the pain.
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theasstour · 3 years
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𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟐.𝟏𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞
A/N: IT’S FINALLY HERE! ARCHITECT!HARRY! 🏛️❣️✨ It’s been ages since I posted writing on here and it feels good to be back! Believe me when I say that though nothing much happens in this chapter, something will go down in absolutely every chapter, so you’ll hopefully be entertained at one point AOIJFOIREJ! I absolutely adore architect!harry (yearly as much as I adore you lot), I hope you lot will too! Now, let’s start this journey, shall we? 🥰🌟
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Friday, 15 September 2017
Monday September 8th 2014. Y/N had spent an abnormal amount of time thinking about that day over the last three years. Sometimes, even if she were in the middle of something else or thinking about a topic completely unrelated, it would just come back to her. Like a flash, as if someone turned on the dim light inside a dark room, she would be taken back to a time, a moment, that would be burned into her brain forever. It would paralyse her for a few seconds, making her unable to do or think or be anything besides that memory. It was almost like, at this point, she thought the ghost of her sister would never quite leave her.
The countless times she had recounted this specific memory, Y/N could never remember exactly what it was that had woken her that late Monday night, or morning rather, in September 2014. One second she was asleep, and then the next, she was awake. She remembered herself looking at the blinds of the window, how they weren’t fully closed that night for some reason, so the orange light from the streetlamp outside shone through the small slits, her room completely silent. This must have been what woke her up from her trance. The blinds were always closed, and the window was always open, letting in fresh air and the noises of Nottingham into her room. It was like her conscious had done it for her, alerted her that something was off and she needed to check her surroundings.
Y/N blinked, realising that the only sound in the room was her eyelids meeting and parting, and the rustling of her bedsheets as she made to sit up in bed. That was when she noticed a flicker of movement in the shadow beside her door. Something unexpected, something unlike what normally was.
“Hello?” Y/N asked, voice hoarse as she sat up completely in bed.
The room was quiet save for the sound of a trainer against Y/N’s carpeted floor. It was faint, and had Y/N’s window been open, she probably would not have heard it. She didn’t remember how she felt in that moment, it was like all emotion was stripped from that memory in order for her to objectively pick it apart over and over and over again. She could therefore not remember how she had felt when she recognised her sister, but she knew she must have been shocked.
“Marcela?” Y/N asked when she recognised the short brown hair of her sister in the shadow on the wall.
A small sigh and Y/N’s older sister stepped forward, letting the dim light of the outside streetlamp wash over her. Y/N had always envied her older sister for right about anything. The colour of her brown eyes, the way her hair looked almost bronze-coloured if the sun hit it just right on late summer afternoons, her wide and pretty smile, charming personality, and slim body were some of the many things that Y/N was jealous of. It just seemed like her sister lived a better, more eventful and meaningful life than Y/N ever would.
Even standing there, wearing a white and lilac floral summer dress, dungaree jacket and white Vans, in the middle of the night or early morning, Y/N thought Marcela had everything together. But whatever happened next to Y/N’s sister, Marcela could never have had it fully together, Y/N realised that now. Nothing that gruesome, that unknowable, could happen to someone who had it all figured out.
“Mari, what’re you doing here?” Y/N asked, reaching for her glasses on the nightstand and pushing them onto her face. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Newport?”
“Yeah,” Marcela answered, smiling at Y/N as if her being in her little sister’s room that late at night, when the world was asleep, was completely normal.
“What’re you doing here?” Y/N asked again.
“I forgot some things. Kit and I are on the way back. He’s waiting in the car.”
In that moment, Y/N did not think to ask Marcela of what exactly her sister had forgotten in Y/N’s room, which was again something she had beaten herself up for since.
“Y/N,” Marcela said, cocking her head to the side and smiling ever so slightly. “You should be asleep.”
Y/N forgot how to speak, just looking at her older sister as her still slow and sleepy brain tried to comprehend what was going on.
“It’s late, you’ve got school tomorrow.” Marcela walked backward towards the door, still directing that same reassuring smile at Y/N on the way there. “You know how grumpy you’re gonna be tomorrow morning if you don’t get your eight hours.”
“When will you be back?”
Marcela smiled. “Next weekend. I told you this.”
Y/N nodded again, feeling like this was all some sort of hallucination. Maybe it was just a dream.
Marcela held up her right hand and showed off the tattoo just below her thumb. One letter, for Y/N. Y/N’s hand immediately fell to the M just below her own right thumb. A M for Marcela. They had gotten it four months earlier for Y/N’s 16th. Y/N still remembered how scared she was, she did not want to be in pain. Marcela had informed her that it would hurt, but it would all be worth it in the end. Her sister had gotten a few tattoos, most of them up and down her arms, but Y/N knew she wanted even more of them. Y/N supposed her love for tattoos had started because of her sister. After her sister died, Y/N had just gone on to get more and more tattoos. She supposed it had been a coping mechanism in the beginning, to somehow feel close to Marcela, yet forget about her and everything for a little while as the smell of fresh ink, the sound of the needle, and the feel of a tingling pain took over all she knew.
“I’ll be back next weekend. Promise. Just let me have this week with Kit, yeah?”
Y/N swore she could hear a slight tremor to her sister’s voice. However, Marcela was not shaking as she took a hold of the door handle, and she did not look the slightest bit scared or like she was crying for help. No, she just looked like the Marcela Y/N had always known. And that was the problem. Nothing had been out of the ordinary. Something had to have been out of the ordinary.
“Y/N?”
She blinked, realising that she had been fixated on the M tattoo by her thumb again. She would sometimes drift off like this, thrown back to that moment in time that haunted her still, three years later.
“Amorzinho?”
Y/N looked up at her father who glanced over his shoulder at her, a slight furrow to his brows as if he knew exactly where she had just been. Davi and Y/N had always understood each other like that, especially after everything with Marcela happened three years ago. They would sometimes just find the other one staring out into thin air, or at something significant to Marcela, and the other would know right away where the other one had gone. Y/N did not know what memory her papai went back to, she never asked and, quite frankly, did not want to know. That whole experience was hard enough as it was, she had enough with her own memories and regrets.
“Y/N, you alright?” Davi asked, reaching for his daughter’s knee and squeezing it lightly. His positioning was a bit awkward from where he sat in the passenger seat and she sat right behind him in the car, but she felt reassured by his tender action nevertheless.
“Alright, pai,” Y/N answered, laying her hand on top of his.
Her father had always been the affectionate type. He would always go around touching the people that meant the most to him, whether it was a light caress to their cheek, a squeeze to their shoulder, a long hug, or a kiss to their cheek. Having grown up with a single mother and an older sister, he had learned from the best, and had not changed, even for his wife who had never been huge on showing affection. Y/N guessed that, in the case of her parents, opposites really did attract.
Where her father was loud, welcoming, and vulnerable, her mother was a bit more reserved, quiet, and tough. However, when Lottie had, at the ripe age of 24, travelled around South America with her mates after finishing her business degree, she had met Davi in Santos in Southern Brazil, the state of São Paulo, and they had fallen in love right away. It took a year for Lottie to leave Santos after that, bringing her then fiancé with her home to meet her family in Nottingham. Since then, the two of them had been together, and had brought Marcela and Y/N into this world.
It would be weird to not spend every single day with her parents. Everything was about to change drastically. The last time abrupt and extreme change had happened was that morning when Y/N’s parents realised Marcela hadn’t made it home from their cabin in Newport, Wales in time. It had been the day she disappeared. When they had gotten the news that she was murdered.
Y/N hoped her papai couldn’t tell that she was shaking.
“It’s not far now,” Lottie said from the driver’s seat. “Just a few minutes.”
Y/N nodded, looking out at the busy streets of North London as they drove on.
“You know what?” Davi said.
“What?”
“I think this is gonna be amazing.”
Y/N smiled at that, squeezing her father’s hand. “Yeah… I think it might be, too.”
“You will meet so many new people and learn so much. It will be the best time of your life.”
“I’ve told you, love. University was the absolute best time of my life.”
Davi looked at his wife.
Lottie clicked her tongue. “Oh, you know what I mean!”
“I do not. You say the best thing to ever happen to you is me, and yet-“
“-Darling, uni was the best time of my life, but meeting you was the best thing to happen to me.”
Davi threw his hands up in the air in exaggerated frustration, muttering something in Portuguese that Y/N did not catch. However, she couldn’t help her slight chuckle, and the grin on her face only widened when she saw her mother smiling, and then her father taking her hand, planting a lingering kiss to her skin before putting it back on the steering wheel. It was nice to witness casual affection between them like this. It was normal for Y/N to see it at this point, they had been like this her entire time growing up, but it was nice to be reminded that her parents loved each other.
“We’ll be on Orsman Road in five minutes tops,” Lottie said, looking back at Y/N as she stopped at a red light. “Nathan’s gonna meet you outside with your flat keys and such, yeah?”
“Yeah, he said he’d pick them up for me at the letting firm before I arrived.”
“Good,” Davi said.
“It’s nice that you get to move into an actual flat your first year of uni so that you get to be with someone you already know,” Lottie said. “As long as the uni’s got your address and knows you’ve got someplace to live, not living in uni accommodation is alright, if I understand correctly.”
“That’s what they said, anyway,” Y/N said.
“You just need a home. You’ll be home with Nathan.”
Y/N nodded, looking out at Hackney as they drove on. “Yeah.”
“He’ll take you to campus after, yes? So you can register and everything?”
Though Y/N had gone over this plan with her parents countless of times these last three hours, as well as the days leading up to departure, it seemed that her mum needed to be reminded one too many times. Taking a deep breath, Y/N said, “Yes.”
“Good. It’s important that you make it there by your time slot at 5. Reckon there’s heaps of students that are going to register at Helmond today.”
“Probs.”
“It’s important to be on time.”
“We will be.”
“Yeah, remember-“
“-Charlotte,” Davi said, putting his hand on his wife’s thigh. “Y/N’s got it under control.”
Lottie chanced a look at Davi as she turned off the main road and onto a smaller one. Y/N recognised this street from the FaceTime calls with Nathan where he had shown her around the street and flat. Though Y/N had been looking forward to this day for what felt like centuries, parts of her were still nervous, and Nathan’s video guides around her new flat and new neighbourhood had calmed her nerves considerably. She felt like she had already been here, but she could not wait to explore the areas of Hoxton and Hackney that she had yet to see.
As they drove down Orsman Road, Y/N could make out a figure in the distance that she felt like she had not seen in ages. A grin was instantly planted on her face and she fidgeted in her seat, wanting to jump out of the car and in Nathan’s direction. Her tall, lanky, slim, red-haired best friend stood by the entrance to what Y/N assumed would be 36 Orsman Road, squinting in the direction of Y/N’s car. At the sight of it, he started jumping up and down, waving enthusiastically as if he was stranded on a deserted island and a plane was flying by over him. Davi laughed, recognising his daughter’s best friend from the countless sleepovers, dinner parties, and drives home drunk from house parties on the other side of town.
Nathan banged on the window as Lottie parked the car by the side of the road, walking as the car was reversed into place, grinning at Y/N the entire time.
“Oh, my life,” Nathan said through the window, hands pressed against it. Y/N pressed her own against his. “I swear, you’ve taken ages. Thought you were gonna stand me up there.”
“Mate,” Y/N said, opening the car and throwing herself into Nathan’s arms. “Couldn’t miss going to uni with you, could I?”
Nathan squealed and hugged Y/N back, though he had to bend at an unnatural angle in order to do so.
“Nate, how are you?” Lottie asked as her and Davi started unloading the boot of the car, putting bags and boxes on the pavement to be carried upstairs.
“Can’t complain, Lottie, I really can’t. Just moved into a flat with me mates, we might go out tonight, and I have the pleasure of seeing your beautiful face today.”
Lottie laughed, squeezing Nathan’s arm before putting one of Y/N’s bags on her shoulder.
“Right, it’s the first and second floor,” Nathan explained, and upon seeing Davi’s confused expression, added, “It’s split-level.”
“Ahh!”
“Right.” Nathan bent down, taking one of the cardboard boxes. “I’ll show the way.”
“Stay behind, will you, darling?” Lottie asked Davi. “Just so we don’t leave anything on the pavement for anyone to nick.”
“Yes, you go ahead,” Davi answered, waving them off.
Nathan opened the front door and let Y/N and Lottie enter first. From the video calls, Y/N knew that once she arrived at the first story landing, the door to the left would be her and Nathan’s flat. Her new home. She was unsure if it would really dawn on her that she was going to be living on her own, without her parents, for the next three years, two of which were spent with Nathan in this flat. Living without her parents seemed liberating, but also terrifying. How was she going to survive without her papai’s cooking? Without the sound of her mother’s sewing machine? Without hearing their laughter as they watched something on the telly in the living room right below her room? How would she just go on living normally without them being close, like they had been all her life?
Nathan used his elbow to open the door and walked on in first this time to hold the door open for Y/N and her mum. Now, with her own two eyes, Y/N took in the place she would be living in over the next year, maybe two. The foyer they entered wasn’t long, but it had no particular furniture in it except for a painting on the wall opposite the stairs. Y/N suspected the landlord had printed out the popular painting and put it in a frame.
To her left was a slim white door – which matched the rest of the walls of the flat – that she knew to be the very spacious wardrobe. She would put her cardboard boxes and bags there once she was done unpacking, at least that was what Nathan had told her over FaceTime because he had done just that himself. To the right was another white door, this one with a window over it, and yet again, she knew this was where the kitchen would be. The door was open as she walked by, so she sneaked a look at it. The European Oak parquet stood in nice, warm contrast to the white cupboards and black countertops that went along the right wall and the wall right opposite to the door. Above the counter to the right, along the white tiled wall, was a long and small window. The view was nothing to brag about, just a greyish brick building and the pub on the other side of the road, The Stag’s Head.
Further along, the door into the living room stood open. As Lottie studied the kitchen, Y/N stood in the doorway to the shared space to just take a good look with her own two eyes. This, along with the bedrooms upstairs, was the only place in the flat with carpeted floor. The grey carpeted floor looked worn, as if it had been stepped on and used for countless of years prior, there were stains some places from what Y/N could only assume to be red wine and coffee. The left wall had four sets of windows; two smaller ones on the side and two bigger ones in the middle, where the smaller ones were the only ones it seemed that the tenants could open. The windows overlooked Regent’s Canal and the dark brown brick buildings on the other side. Not the prettiest view, but then, they were students and there weren’t many places in Haggerston, London that offered something pretty to look at.
Right underneath the windows, there was a radiator, and right beside that, positioned with its back against the wall opposite to the door where Y/N stood, was a blue sofa. In front of it, positioned against the wall facing it, was a table where a small telly was propped. A PlayStation was already plugged in and Y/N hoped it would be possible for her to somehow play Mario Kart on it as any other games did not interest her. Beside the sofa and the wooden coffee table in front of it, stood a red Poäng Ikea armchair with a footrest to match. That one also looked as worn as the rest of the living room. Y/N was sure that if she sat down, the chair would simply give out and turn to dust under her.
“Up we go,” Nathan said, walking straight past Y/N and up the stairs that leaned against the wall opposite to the living room and kitchen.
Before following her best friend, Y/N looked out through the windowed door, leading out to a mini terrace. You could barely fit two people out there, but she reckoned it would be a lush way to start her mornings. A fresh cuppa and the dreary sight of Haggerston.
“Y/N, you coming?!” Nathan called, making Y/N jump.
She looked back at her mum who just flashed a tight-lipped smile her way. Taking that as a good enough sign, Y/N followed Nathan upstairs. The hallway she was then presented with looked exactly like the one downstairs. However, right in front of her were two doors; the one to the left leading to the small toilet room, and the one beside it to the sink and shower. There was a door to her right as she came upstairs, two to her left, and another one right above where the terrace would be downstairs. That was the room Nathan was in now, putting down Y/N’s cardboard box.
“I’ll run downstairs and let Davi up so he can have a look,” Nathan smiled, walking past Y/N and Lottie to run down to the ground floor again.
The only things the room had to offer were a queen-sized bed, which at 204cm, took up all the space from wall to wall, but luckily enough, there was a drawer behind the door where Y/N could at least put all her clothes. This was the smallest room she had ever lived in.
“This is… rather spacious,” Lottie said, walking over to the windows above the bed and opening them both to let some fresh air in.
“Can’t really expect much if I’m gonna live in London, though. And I’m a student.”
“Precisely.” Lottie took her hands on her hips, looking out at the view from Y/N’s window. It was the same one as from the terrace just under them. The weather that day had been just as nice as Y/N had suspected of the South; a little-too-hot early autumn afternoon, partly cloudy, with busy pavements and crowded parks. She knew that the weather would soon match what she was used to from the Midlands. Even though she would now live farther south, she knew lousy weather was just as likely in London as it was in Nottingham. Y/N was suddenly very happy her mother had opened the windows to let in some of the canal wind.
A small sniffle sounded, and Y/N immediately looked to Lottie who still had her face turned away from her daughter.
“Mum?”
“Look at that!” Davi exclaimed, entering the room with a massive grin on his face.
The different reactions her parents had to the flat just reminded Y/N of how different they were.
“I know, pai,” Y/N said, looking around her room. “A wee bit small, but I’ve never needed much, have I?”
“With all those clothes you’ve brought?!” Lottie asked, looking down at the bag where Y/N’s clothes were, still not meeting anyone’s gaze. “You have too much clothes for your own good. When do you even use most of it?”
“Well, I don’t usually bring out the crop tops and see-through shirts for family gatherings, mum. Might be it.”
“Thank God.”
Y/N watched her mum for a few seconds, knowing something was wrong the moment she started fussing over the bare bed in front of her.
“You need a nightstand,” Davi pointed out, walking over to stand by the bed, indicating with his hand where the nightstand would go. “And a desk.”
“Nathan and I talked about popping by an Ikea. Nearest one’s in Greenwich, I think. Or Wembley.”
“Good! Nathan hasn’t brought his car down, has he?” Davi asked.
“No, he left it-“
“-Speaking of Nathan, I’ll go downstairs and let him carry the last box upstairs.” Before either Davi or Y/N could say anything else, Lottie was out the door and down the stairs, walking down to the car again.
Y/N looked at her papai, seeing a slight furrow to his brows as he regarded his wife retreating downstairs.
“What’s wrong?” Y/N asked in a low voice, listening to the sound of her mother’s footsteps down the stairs.
Davi met Y/N’s eyes, shrugging one shoulder. “Think she’s a little sad.”
Y/N bit the side of her mouth, sighing slowly.
“It’s a weird day. You’re moving away to University, and last time… last time we drove one of our daughters away like this, she didn’t come home.”
For some reason, Y/N had seen something like this happening. Though her mother had a weird way of showing it, she was constantly terrified after what happened to Marcela, and she was especially protective of Y/N. It had been hard for Lottie to let Y/N have any sort of social life that first year after Marcela. She would want to know everything about where Y/N was heading, who would be there, what they were going to do, and when Lottie could come and pick her up. Though this had been alright in the beginning - Y/N had known even then that it must be her mother’s way of coping with everything – it got a bit much as months, and then years went on. Y/N loved her mother, she really did, but she acted as if Y/N could not protect or take care of herself, something she was more than capable of.
“Pai, I won’t die at uni.”
“I know,” Davi said, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “But your mother still has a hard time taking it all in. You won’t be home, and she won’t have you near anymore. It’ll be a lot.”
Y/N nodded, resting her head back against her papai’s arm.
“Cosy moment,” Nathan smiled as he entered the room with the last box, placing it down on the floor beside the other ones.
“Is mum downstairs?” Y/N asked.
“Yeah, she’s by the car. Think she’s waiting for you two.”
Y/N and Davi nodded, Davi then taking a last look around his daughter’s room, smiling as he already knew she would make the bleak setting one many would envy. Y/N, after all, had always had a sense for these kinds of things.
“I’ll wait in my room, which is the one by the toilet,” Nathan informed, pointing to the open door behind him. “Just come knock when you’re ready to head for the uni, yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll only be a minute.”
“No worries, babes, take all the time you need.”
Y/N smiled, walking past Nathan while Davi gave him a hug, wishing him good luck to come in the approaching first semester of University. It would be Nathan’s second year, so he knew what he was going into compared to her, but she knew Nathan appreciated Davi’s encouraging words regardless.
Y/N walked down towards the ground floor, her papai right behind her as they exited the flat building. Lottie stood by the car, arms crossed and eyes on something further up the street. It was as if she was looking for something, making sure it was safe for her Y/N to live there without her mother’s supervision.
“Mum,” Y/N said, now recognising the worry on her mother’s face. “Mum, it’ll be alright.”
She walked straight for her mother, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. Though it would normally have been the other way around, the parents reassuring their kid they would be fine on their own, Y/N now patted her mother on the back and felt her bury her face into her daughter’s shoulder. Davi walked over as well, placing a hand on Lottie’s arm, squeezing her lightly. Some time went by without any one of them saying anything, just feeling and processing the words left unsaid.
Soon, Davi let out a small sigh, hugging the back of Y/N’s frame and mumbling her name against the top of his daughter’s head.
“We’re going to miss you,” he said, leaving a kiss against her hair.
Too caught up in her mother’s sadness, Y/N did not realise until just then that this was the moment she had been dreading. This one, where she stood by her parents’ car, saying goodbye to them and watching them start on their drive back home to Nottingham without her.
It was a complex state of being. Going away to University, starting a new life for herself, was something Y/N had dreamed of for as long as she could remember. She wanted to experience new things and to study something she was passionate about. But part of her was still pulling her back towards Nottingham, home. It would feel wrong, maybe even like being abandoned, thrust into adult reality, when she watched her parents drive off.
The thought of her living in the biggest city in the country by herself, did not sit right with her in that second. She was suddenly six again, her papai teaching her how to ride a bike. She was eleven, getting her period for the first time and her mother showing her how to use a pad. She was sixteen, having forgotten she had an important maths exam the next day, resulting in her and Davi sitting up for hours until she knew what she was doing. She lived at home, where her parents could protect her, help her, guide her, and provide for her at any given second. They would always be there whenever she needed them, always close and ready to pour every ounce of love onto her.
But now, even though she knew her parents would still love her the same and always be at her service whenever she needed them, now they would live separate lives. She would still be part of their lives and they would be part of hers, but they would not intermingle, get stuck, and weave themselves together like they had done since Y/N’s day of birth and until now. Y/N had not lived a single day in her life where she had not physically been close to her parents in one form or another. She had known it would be hard to watch them leave, she knew she would hate herself for this once she sat in her room all alone that same night or when researching information for an essay in a month’s time. Even though part of her was looking forward to what was to come, another part did not want to be left. She wanted a new life, but she was terrified of letting the old one, the safe one, go.
“Oh, my baby,” Lottie said as she pulled away, taking Y/N’s face in her hands. “My wee Y/N.”
Y/N went back in for another hug just so her mother wouldn’t see how glassy her eyes were. She felt them stinging and knew she would shed a tear soon.
“You will have no problems at uni,” Davi said, squeezing his daughter.
“How do you know that?” Y/N mumbled into her mother’s shoulder, closing her eyes as to make sure no tears escaped. She felt pathetic, but the overwhelming realisation that her parents would leave her in a few minutes had hit her like a brick.
“Because we know you. We know you’ll make friends; we know you’ll excel.” Davi took a step away, placing both hands on her shoulders. “Deep down, you know that, too.”
“As much as I hate the fact that I won’t get to see you every single day or know what you’re doing, I know you’re going to love being at University and you’re going to love London,” Lottie said, rubbing Y/N’s back.
“I don’t want you to leave.” Y/N sounded like a wee child, refusing to let her parents leave her at kindergarten for seven hours.
Davi squeezed Y/N’s shoulders again. “It’ll be alright, querida.”
“You don’t know that.”
“But I do. You feel like this now because this is a huge change. University is the beginning of adult life, it’s scary, but you’ll love it.”
Y/N chose not to argue with her papai as she knew he was only trying to make her feel better. And also, though she did not want them to leave, she knew that the longer she stayed there with them, the higher the risk was for her to bawl her eyes out into her mum’s shoulders. Slowly, making sure to wipe her eyes discreetly against her mother’s shoulder, Y/N stepped away from her parents, trying to smile at them both. She knew they could tell she was about to cry, but was grateful that neither one of them pointed it out.
“Goodbye, my baby,” Lottie said, stroking Y/N’s cheek. “Please call us tonight or tomorrow, we want to see your room when it’s all finished.”
Y/N nodded. She always kept her mouth shut when she was about to cry, it was as if speaking made all emotion float out of her through her open mouth, and she started crying uncontrollably.
“We’ll see you soon,” Davi smiled. “Remember to have fun, yes? This is going to be so much better than you think.”
She smiled, watching her father sit down in the passenger side and her mother climb into the driver’s side.
“Remember your time slot, Y/N. Remember to get to the uni on time to register-“
“-Lotts,” Davi warned.
“Right, alright,” Lottie sighed, getting the car going. She turned back to Y/N one last time blowing her a kiss. “Love you.”
“Te amo!” Davi shouted, waving and grinning at his daughter.
Y/N was left standing there looking after the car as her parents drove off. She was unable to move for a moment, the only thing she managed to do was stare after the car until it was out of sight. When it was, Y/N felt an instant sort of empty feeling in her stomach. She was on her own. Her parents were on their way back to Nottingham, and she was here. In London. Alone. Momentarily, Y/N’s excitement about uni and everything she would experience these next three years, was all insignificant. The lack of her parents’ presence was like stripping reality of warm colour, replacing them with the dreary and cold.
She felt her eyes begin to sting and let one tear roll down her cheek. Then, wiping the next few off her face, she started making her way up to her new flat. She closed the ground door behind her, and then the front door of the flat when she reached it. Nathan was out on the balcony with a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other. He did not notice Y/N as she walked up to her room again and she was very happy he did not.
Walking straight for the bathroom, the door right in front of the stairs once you reached the first storey of the split flat, Y/N closed and locked the door afterwards. She turned water on, scooped some coldness into her hands and splashed it over her face. Without hesitating, she did it again, turning the tap off before looking at herself in the mirror above the sink. She wiped the water off her face with the sleeves of her jumper, cursing herself for not having brought a towel in with her.
“You’re a bad bitch,” she hissed at her reflection. “Why’re you crying?”
A small gasp left Y/N’s lips and she turned the tap on again, splashing her face with more cold water. She had no idea if it was helping any, but she had a strange sense that by doing it, she would feel better afterwards. However, looking at herself in the mirror again, she did not feel the least bit better.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked herself in a whisper. “Can you stop crying? There’s literally no need to cry.”
But there was, her brain retorted, and that alone brought more tears to her eyes. Y/N knew that had she been driven down here by her parents to be on holiday for a week or two, she would not have cried. Maybe she would have cried the day before going home because she would rather be in London than Nottingham because she loved it so much, but she would not have cried when her parents drove off. In fact, she was sure she would have loved to see them go and known she was free to do whatever she wanted, when she wanted.
But this was different. She lived in London now. Her mother couldn’t just come whenever Y/N needed her, and her papai couldn’t stop whatever he was doing to help her with whatever she was struggling with. It was a new life. A new beginning. And she had to do it all alone. She was used to being alone by choice, she didn’t like this feeling of alone.
“Y/N?!” Nathan called as he walked up the stairs. “Y/N, you in your room?!”
Taking a deep breath and wiping a little excess water off her cheek, she unlocked the bathroom door and stepped outside just as Nathan stood in the doorway of her room. Nathan took one look at her and said, in a quiet and low tone, “They left?”
Y/N inhaled slowly. “Yeah.”
Nathan walked over to her, bringing her in for a hug. Y/N hugged him back tightly, appreciating the reassurance. She knew she wasn’t alone, she had Nathan after all, but it was still strange to be here without her parents.
All her time throughout school, Y/N had looked forward to moving away to University. Her and Nathan had planned out their lives once they got to uni, in detail, and could spend hours on end just making plans for Freshers Week and the parties they would attend. Having been friends since year three of school, the two of them had made a lot of plans throughout the years. Most of the plans, they had never gone through with, but it was still fun to imagine. Neither could remember what exactly had gotten them to talk to one another that first time, but they had always suspected it was their mutual friend, Ella, who had gotten them talking. Since then, Nathan and Y/N had been inseparable.
They always did the stupidest things together, annoying all their friends and family. They got their license on the same day, would often sleep out in one of their gardens just because they could, always made the other a Build-a-Bear for their birthday, knew each other’s favourite scents, tastes, turn ons and turn offs, and everything in between. It was a friendship that was seen as maybe a little too close, but once you found your soulmate, there were no boundaries anymore. At least that was how Y/N and Nathan saw it. Besides, there was a sense of bond between them that only people identifying as queer could understand. Though neither of them had known at the age of seven when they met that they would grow up to identify as gay and bisexual, they knew now that their bodies, on some level, had known, and therefore drawn them to one another.
When you’re around other people from the LGBT community, there is not only a sense of understanding between you, but also undeniable, immeasurable comfort and support. No matter what. It’s a home, someplace to be completely you, without feeling like you need to tone it down or be ashamed, something the outer world sometimes could make you think you needed to. Y/N was therefore incredibly happy that her, as a bisexual, had found Nathan, who was himself with his whole heart, and who encouraged her to be the same.
“You ready to go to uni?” Nathan asked.
“Yeah, I’ll just change into a tee shirt.”
Nathan let go of her and followed her into her room.
Having always been plus size, Y/N broke a sweat rather easily. She therefore knew that she might freeze a bit in the beginning, but if her and Nathan were supposed to walk up and down stairs at tube stations and walk indoors at Helmond, she would need to wear a tee shirt to cool herself down some.
She took her jumper off, lobbing it on the still empty bed before she opened her bag filled with tops. She dragged a tee shirt out at random, taking a look at the black tee shirt with a white half moon embroidered onto the chest. Dragging it over her head, she walked to the full-body mirror that her mother had insisted on her bringing. She said there were rarely mirrors in student houses, and she was right. Looking at herself, Y/N ran a hand over her black denim shorts, studying how her faux leather sock boots went with the rest of her outfit. The chunky soles were amazing for walking, and she knew her feet would be aching by the time they got back home.
“Hmm,” Y/N said. “Might change into jeans, actually.”
“Why?” Nathan asked, furrowing his brows. “You look good in that.”
“I know, but the chafing.”
Nathan, who had heard this before, only nodded. With his noodle legs, he had never experienced chafing, and therefore did not say anything. Y/N knew this and appreciated him not trying to relate to her problems as a plus size woman. He could understand many of her problems, but never that.
Bringing her trouser bag forth, she got a pair of black jeans out, putting them on, making sure the sock boots were on the outside of the tight-fitted denim, and then the two of them were on their way. Y/N brought a tote bag, putting her phone, purse, and flat keys in it.
They arrived at Haggerston tube station on Lee Street, and once they were there, Nathan helped Y/N set up her Oyster card. The card would be an easier payment method for public transport around London, and though she could easily just tap her bank card, an Oyster card was, according to Nathan, a better way of doing it.
“You can use it for right about anything,” Nathan explained as they stood by the Overground platform, waiting for the Crystal Palace / New Cross / West Croydon train to arrive. “We’re talking Underground, Overground, Tramlink, all buses, River Services, you name it.”
“You always take the tube to uni.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Nate, you literally send a snapchat every single day before you go to uni of you sitting on the Overground.”
Nathan tutted, shaking his head. “I also walk.”
“When?”
“Blimey, I can walk. I do have legs, have you seen them?”
“Pretty hard to miss when they take up 80% of your body.”
Nathan gasped, nudging Y/N before the two of them laughed. The train arrived, and they got onboard, sitting down on one of them orange seats along the walls. They got off at Whitechapel, weaving past people to get to the Underground this time. They took an escalator down to the District and Hammersmith & City lines, Y/N following Nathan as he made a right turn for the Eastbound route.
“I know that exact walk, from the Overground to the District Line, like the back of my hand,” Nathan said, grinning proudly as they stepped aboard the train, holding onto the pole in between two doors. The doors closed, and Y/N had to hold on tight as not to faceplant onto the tube floor. That would not have been an ideal way of starting her conversion into a proper Londoner.
“Thought you said you walked to uni as well.”
“Well, I still do!”
“Alright.” Y/N nodded. “When’re we getting off?”
“Stepney Green.”
“This is Stepney Green. Change here for Hammersmith & City-“
Y/N raised her eyebrows at Nathan. “Really? Not even one stop?”
“Leave off, you hag.”
“Please, mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”
The two walked up to the surface again and started on their ten-minute walk to Helmond from there. Y/N thought it would take them longer to get there considering she was a slow walker, something Nathan always had to consider when walking around with her, but it did not. The lack of her parents’ presence still hung in the air around her, it was still thick as fog, and she knew the longing for their closeness would not clear away within the next few days, but the moment she set her eyes on her University, she forgot about everything for just a little bit.
Helmond, University of London rose up before them in beautiful red and white bricks, shining in the late September sun like a lone castle in the middle of a vast and dark forest. It felt like Y/N had been without food and water for days, and the sign of the castle, the sign of life, brought a new sense of meaning to her. The massive University took up an entire 175-acre rectangle in London, enrolling a total of 20 thousand students, and being the second biggest London University for that reason alone, only barely beaten by Battersea, University of London, who hosted 35 thousand. Regardless, Helmond was the oldest uni in London, the first one to be established in the capital in 1817. Y/N felt very small looking at it, even though it wasn’t a particularly tall building, but she knew how big it was from the Open Day she had spent walking around campus grounds with her parents.
Nathan led Y/N over to the stairs and the two walked on in. It was like stepping right into a Renaissance painting. The ceilings were tall and vaulted, grand pillars against the walls up and down the halls. This hall was white, but Y/N knew that in other places in Helmond, the ceilings were painted, making it look like a sort of Versailles rip-off.
Immediately as you walked in, you stepped into the entry hall that was filled with first years trying to find their way around the uni. Right ahead was the reception area and a statue of Victor Helmond, the founder of the school and the first headmaster. To Y/N, he looked right about just like those old statues from the 1800s did, he was no different with his medium height, messy hair, and beard. Through the tall French windows behind the reception and statue, Y/N glimpsed one of the two massive courtyards in the middle of the University. 
The uni was built around two quads, separating them was another quad just behind a red and white brick bridge, making it easier for students to get to lectures on time instead of walking their way through the long hallways, past lecture halls, cafeteria, and shops. Y/N could envision herself walking that bridge quite a few times over the next few years. There was another statue in the middle of the courtyard Y/N could see now, red and white tiled paths leading up to the fountain it stood on from each of the four walls facing it. The other courtyard was a replica of this one, only the statue was different. The one Y/N could see was Victor Helmond’s wife, Maud, and she knew that in the other courtyard, there was a statue of Queen Victoria. She had been told all of this on her Open Day months ago.
People were sitting in the grass of the quads, either with books in their hands or surrounded by friends. No one looked to have a care in the world, not even another oncoming year at uni. Y/N wished she could be as relaxed as them, and told herself that at one point, when she felt more at home here, she would.
“Coming?” Nathan asked after a little while, walking backwards while keeping his eyes on Y/N.
“Yeah.”
She followed him and the two walked further down the hall where there was a queue. Nathan stopped there and smiled at Y/N, nodding in the direction of the open door.
“Won’t be too long, there are tons of student representatives standing there, so it’ll take us ten minutes,” Nathan explained.
And he was right, it did not take them long to get to the front of the queue. They were stood in what Y/N could only assume to be a room specifically used for meetings. The table was fixed to look like a horse shoe, right about ten student representatives standing there, helping to register those that were there to start their first year.
“Next!” a woman called, and with one last look at Nathan, Y/N walked in her direction, giving her, what she hoped to be, a friendly smile as she approached.
“What’s your surname?” the student representative asked.
“Montes.”
She looked behind her, taking some time to find a M. She walked up and down the row of tables behind her, but once she finally came back to Y/N, she placed a manila folder on the table in front of her.
“Y/N Montes, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Studying English Literature?”
“Yup.”
“Brilliant,” the woman said, bending down to retrieve something more Y/N had to bring with her. “Just sign your name, date of birth, and the student halls you’re living in on the paper in front of you, please.”
“I don’t live in halls.”
“Ah, well, then you just write your address down. The uni just wants to know where you live, really. Especially if you’ve moved here to attend uni.”
Y/N nodded, taking the pen laid before her and writing under Jack Williams that had been before her.
“English Lit?”
After only having signed her name, Y/N looked up at the girl to her left who had just talked. She was looking straight at Y/N with a small smile on her face.
“I’m doing English Lit, too,” the girl said, her smile growing.
Y/N smiled back. “Really?”
“Yeah,” she blonde said, grinning now. “I’m Chloe.”
“Y/N.”
Chloe made a small bow. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“And yours.” Y/N cursed herself for not being funnier. This girl would not want to be her friend if she wasn’t funny.
“Not to be like this,” the bloke helping Chloe out said. “But could you do this outside? We need to register more people.”
“Of course,” Chloe said, sounding a little too charming for her own good. She glanced back at Y/N, hugging her manila folder to her chest. “See you around, Y/N.”
“And you.”
Y/N’s entire chest burst with a sort of contentment only strange encounters could bring forth. It was a sort of reminder that Y/N was appreciated and seen by someone she barely knew; someone she appreciated and saw in return. Knowing that, even though they might not stay friends for their entire time at uni, they would at least lean on each other as lectures began. She could find Chloe and sit down next to her, and it would not be weird.
“Wicked,” Nathan said as Y/N came walking in his direction with the Helmond folder in her hands. “Now, let’s go for dinner. I’m famished.”
And so they did. They stopped by a pub on the way home, staying there for two hours just talking, eating and drinking. It was nice to finally be with Nathan again. He had been in London for well over a month, and as much as Y/N wanted to come down there, she needed all those hours of work to earn money for uni. New Look did not pay well, but at least she had a bit of money to use right off the bat. She’d need a new job, though. And fast.
This time around they walked back to the flat, taking the hour it took to just take in the stroll that Y/N knew she would take more than she would take the tube. There was just a lot to look at, and no hills, meaning that the stroll would not kill her. Another bonus was the time she would get to spend just listening to music, something she adored. Once again, she completely forgot about her parents and them leaving, until they reached the flat an hour later. Remembering brought a white-hot ball of aching to Y/N’s stomach, making it hard for her to swallow properly. She assumed it would be like this for a few days, if not weeks. She’d have to find her place and her people before the feeling of longing for her parents and life back home in Nottingham, would dissipate.
It was very dark in the flat when they finally got home around 8. Nathan stumbled a bit when they walked through the door, making Y/N laugh her ass off. Nathan only flipped her off before urging her to walk on in. She did, taking her shoes off and leaving them by the door. The light in the kitchen was on, and because Y/N assumed they must have left it on before they left, she did not bother to take a proper sweeping look over the room before reaching for the light switch. She stopped.
Nathan was busy closing and locking the front door, humming to that Tinie Tempah song that was always played in any sort of club setting. He must have been clubbing the night before, she reckoned. The rest of the flat was quiet. It was left in darkness. It was therefore weird to Y/N that she saw a hallucination in the middle of the lit-up kitchen. Would it not have been wiser of her brain, a bit scarier also perhaps, to put that hallucination in the corner of her dark room? Why was she seeing it right there, in the kitchen, in vivid detail? She wouldn’t remember ever having hallucinated… him. Her sister sometimes showed up, but Y/N never saw her in detail, only as she remembered her from that last time she saw her. But this… this was different. Y/N fucking hated it.
“Y/N,” he said, voice darker than she remembered it.
Blinking a few times to get the sight of him out of her head, she turned the lights off and turned to Nathan who struggled taking his shoes off, now humming to another song.
“Nate, literally shut up. Chainsmokers is rank.”
“Oi! Closer is a fucking belter!”
“Y/N, could you turn the lights back on, please?”
There it was again. His voice. She closed her eyes and shook her head forcefully, as she did to get rid of Marcela’s image. With a hand on the strap of her tote bag, Y/N started on her journey towards the stairs.
“Oi, Y/N, why’re you leaving the man in the dark?” Nathan asked, frowning over at Y/N as she stopped moving. What… What did Nathan just say? Had he seen Y/N’s hallucination as well? Were they both hallucinating? What had been in the two pints they’d just had? Nathan wasn’t drunk, was he?
She could tell by the yellow light that flooded into the hallway from the kitchen that Nathan had turned the lights back on. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder at Nathan, meeting his gaze right away. Nathan glanced into the kitchen, giving the hallucination a smile before asking, a little too casually, “You’re home early.”
“Work was slow. Let me off early so I could get a few extra hours sleep in before uni starts.”
Y/N shook her head again, walking over and putting a hand on Nathan’s shoulder to check if he was real and not just another hallucination. Nathan looked to Y/N right away, a deep furrow to his brows as Y/N felt his neck and cheek.
“Have you cracked your skull? What’re you doing?” Nathan asked.
“You can see him?” Y/N blinked at Nathan, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.
“Of course, I can see Harry. I’m not blind and I did develop the ability to sense another human beings’ presence when they’re in the same room as me. He’s standing right there, isn’t he?”
“No, he… he’s not…”
Y/N looked at the hallucination again then. Harry Styles. She had not thought about him in months, had not seen him in years. They had not been in each other’s proximity since he lived in Nottingham with his father three years ago. Had not spoken properly since that day in late August 2014 when they spent the night together. And there he was, standing in the kitchen of her new uni flat. She could not believe it. There were so many questions running through Y/N’s head in that second that she did not know which one to ask Nathan, who, it seemed, had no problem with Harry Styles being in their kitchen.
“Yes, he is,” Harry answered slowly, looking at Y/N with his eyebrows raised. They rose even higher up his forehead once he caught Nathan’s eye. “You didn’t tell her.”
“What?” Y/N looked at Nathan. “Didn’t tell me what?”
Nathan raised his shoulders in a shrug that Y/N knew was only done to buy her best friend some time. He pursed his lips, refusing to meet either of their eyes. “Might’ve slipped my mind.”
Harry cocked his head, putting the glass of milk he was holding back onto the counter. “Slipped… your mind?”
“I forgot.”
“You forgot?!”
“Y/N’s blind, you’re deaf. What’s next?”
“Nate, please, for the love of fuck, tell me you told her.”
“Nate?” That made Y/N retreat, two lines etched between her brows as she looked to Harry again, then back at Nathan. “You only let your mates call you that.”
Harry let out a short, high-pitched laugh. “Brilliant. You didn’t even tell her about me in general. What’s that about? You ashamed of me?”
“Oh, don’t take the piss, you wank-stain.” Nathan rolled his eyes. “I knew it would not go down very well.”
Harry crossed his arms. “And this way it would?”
“I was gonna sit her down and tell her, but I never got around to it. Alcohol called, she wanted us to have two pints at a pub.”
“Don’t blame this on a pint, you could’ve told her ages ago.”
“Can someone please,” Y/N called, making Nathan stop whatever he was about to say. “Tell me what the bloody hell is going on?”
Nathan and Harry looked at one another, exchanging a sort of glance Y/N could almost decipher, but in her confused state was too dizzy to try and comprehend. They stood like that for a few seconds, making grimaces at one another, having a telepathic argument that Y/N wanted in on.
“Hello?!” she called, making both boys jump and look at her again.
“Nathan,” Harry said, picking his glass of milk up again and taking a sip.
“Right,” Nathan sighed, turning his body in Y/N’s direction. “Y/N, Harry’s gonna be living with you for the rest of the year.”
Harry huffed. “Want me to move out next year, do you? Don’t wanna live with me our third year?”
“Oh, you know I do, but one year at a time, yeah? Don’t need to traumatise her more than necessary.”
Y/N did not know what to do. Out of all possible scenarios, out of all horrible happenings at University, she had not seen this one coming. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought this would ever happen. She quite frankly thought she had left Harry Styles behind her in her past, never to be in contact with or meet him again. But he was one of her new flatmates. She would be living with him for at least a year, two if she did not decide to move out. They had been each other’s first time, and then never spoke to each other again, despite everything else. That was three years ago, and now what? Were they supposed to talk it through? Were they supposed to ignore it? Ignore each other?
Y/N’s head was spinning, and it seemed the rest of the flat was spinning with her. Taking one last look at Harry and Nathan, she started walking in the direction of the stairs. Whatever the two were arguing about, they stopped the second they saw her strolling away.
“Oi, what’re you doing?” asked Nathan.
“I’m fucking going to my room to get away from you,” Y/N asked, voice razor sharp. “Unless you forgot to tell me there’s a corpse hidden inside my wardrobe?”
“It’s just 8. The night’s still young.”
“I don’t care.”
“Mate-“
“-Is there a corpse in my room? Or lice in my mattress? Or any other rather big news you’d like to tell me?”
Nathan must have known this would happen, but he still looked nervous as he shook his head, indicating that there was nothing else he was supposed to have told her but hadn’t.
“Good,” Y/N said. “I’ll deal with whatever kind of situation this is, tomorrow.” She paused. “Or maybe the day after that.” Another pause. “Fuck this. Fuck you.” She pointed at Nathan.
“I’m just trying to make us all be friends here,” he said. “Besides, don’t fuck me, I’m gay. And…” Nathan nodded in the direction of the kitchen where Harry stood. “You’ve already fucked him-“
“-I’ll literally murder you, Nathan,” Y/N hissed, and she swore she could hear a grunt of disapproval from Harry’s end as well, not having appreciated Nathan’s comment.
Without another look at them, she walked up the stairs and to her room, locking herself in there. It was then that she realised she hadn’t gotten her bed ready for the night. However, in her infuriated state, Y/N did not care. She got her pillow out from one of her bags along with her duvet, opening the windows to let some fresh air in and pulled the curtains close. She wasn’t really about to go to bed, but she knew that she would cry in not too long because she missed home, and her anger at Nathan and Harry did not help. If she got angry enough, she’d cry. Hard.
She could not believe this. It did not feel real. Ever since that night in August, she had not talked to Harry, and she did not think she ever would again. However, here she was, living in the same flat as him. It wasn’t as if their time together had been more awkward than they had anticipated, but the reason why she could not stand him was because, even though had kept every single other promise he’d ever made, he had not even done as much as look at her after they had sex. He had not called like he promised he would. Had not kept in contact with her after moving away. Had not been what he had promised he would be: different. A mate.
They had promised each other at the time that this would not be awkward, they would just get it over with, be awkward with one another, and then forget it ever happened. They would go back to being mates. But then Harry had shut her out, and they had not talked since. At times, when Y/N thought about this not too long after it had happened, she was scared that the entire reason why Harry had even been friendly in the first place was so they’d fuck and forget about one another. Sometimes it was easier to tell herself that than to remember all the lovely times. Y/N chose to repress those. He was not worth it.
She heard Nathan’s voice and then Harry’s along with footsteps. They were walking up the stairs, talking in hushed voices as if scared to wake anyone up. Y/N supposed it was the last flatmate that she had yet to meet, and considering how Nathan had not told her she would be living with Harry for the next year, she was scared to think who the last flatmate would be.
There was a knock at her door.
Y/N rubbed a hand over her face. “Drink piss.”
“Y/N, I just wanna talk.”
“No, Nathan.”
He jiggled the door handle. “Please.”
“Nathan, I need to be alone or else I’m sure I’m gonna fucking choke you till your eyes pop,” Y/N said. “Harry Styles, Nathan!”
“Yes, Y/N, I know!” Nathan said, sounding genuinely conflicted as well. “I know I should have told you he goes to Helmond! And that we’re mates here! I know!”
“Why didn’t you?”
“’Cause I knew you wouldn’t live with me if I told you,” Nathan admitted. “I had been looking forward to you coming here for so long, and Harry, Mason, and I kind of agreed to move in together. I told Harry, but he never had a problem with it, but I knew you would, because… well… everything that happened in Notts.”
Y/N rolled her eyes.
“But believe me that I didn’t do this as a way for you and Harry to, like, start talking again-“
“-‘Cause if you did-“
“-Oh, I know I would’ve been dead by now if that was the case, I know.” Nathan sighed. “Y/N, he’s not as much of a knob-“
“-He is a knobhead. Now, then, forever. Now, leave me alone.”
Nathan knew there was no way for him to make this any better. Once Y/N had made her mind up, it was hard to change her perspective on things. Getting her used to Harry, to living with him, to accepting this fate of hers, would take a very long fucking time.
Nathan said a small, “Later” from down the hall, and Harry replied with a “Have a good one” that seemed a bit closer somehow. Before she knew it, the door just beside hers opened, a small creak to it as Harry stepped in. It closed just after Nathan’s did, and Y/N heard the sound of footsteps from the room just beside hers. Not only was Harry Styles, the person who took her virginity, and Y/N Montes, the person who took Harry Styles’ virginity, living in the same flat. No, their rooms were also right next to one another. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Not only had she cried an abnormal amount today, sprained her ankle some on her walk home, and been uncharacteristically awkward when meeting new people, but she had also moved into the same house as her ex-friend.
Y/N turned her face, burying it into her pillow, and screamed.
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Monday, 18 September 2017
There were people everywhere. Y/N was used to there being heaps of people everywhere she looked and did not mind crowds. She liked the company of people around her, the sounds of civilisation. In fact, it relaxed her much more than a calm countryside ever could. When walking through Canada Water, she did not mind people bumping into her or them walking right past her. It just showed signs of people and she loved that. She hated being alone, hated the sound of her own breathing and nothing to accompany her.
That was one of the reasons why she had looked forward to moving to London in the first place. She wanted the comfort of never being alone, of always having someone around, which she knew she would appreciate about London. Of course, she knew there were places in London she could go to be on her own, but she liked the idea of never, truly, being alone. The prospect of being alone, terrified her. She was never lonely, she had a lot of friends, she was close with her parents, but being alone, with no one else around, was something else entirely.
She did not feel lonely, even though she did not know any of the people around her at this precise moment in the tube station, she was surrounded by people and there was a comfort in that. Years & Years blasted from her earbuds and it was hard not to sing along when Desire went as hard as it did. So, instead of singing with her whole chest in the middle of the tube station, Y/N settled for miming the words with her mouth. She loved Years & Years more than she could articulate, so it was hard for her not to go crazy while listening to them. She could not wait for their second album to drop sometime next year.
Y/N walked towards the Eastbound platform as she reached the Jubilee line level. Nathan would be waiting for her at Ikea in Greenwich, as he had gone for a few other errands in the area, which ones Y/N did not know, but she had no problem meeting him there. However, she would have much more preferred it if he could have gone there with her, as she much more preferred to hang out with her friends than getting to places by herself. She just needed to take the Jubilee line to North Greenwich, and then take the 161 bus to Millennium Leisure Park East, and there Nathan would be waiting for her. That was all she had to do on her own, then she would have company.
She had not yet forgiven him for not telling her about Harry, but she didn’t have anyone else to take to Ikea, so she’d just have to ignore it until she had the energy to talk it through. Until then, she’d be passive aggressive and make Nathan feel bad for keeping it from her. Not the best way to go about it, she knew, but it would do for now.
The train arrived and Y/N waited patiently before she boarded it, letting the passengers that were already aboard get off before she started making her way on. Too anxious to sit down, Y/N took to standing by the pole just by the door she just entered, holding onto it with two other business men, neither who paid anyone on that train any attention as all of it were on the phone in front of them. Y/N reached for her phone then, typing out a message to Nathan that she was on her way. Or… at least she hoped she was.
“This is a Jubilee line train to Stratford; the next station is Canary Warf.”
Y/N let out a small sigh of relief, mentally patting herself on the back for managing to make it this far on her journey to Ikea Greenwich without getting completely lost. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand, and she immediately raised it to look at her new notification.
Nathan
Glad you’re finding your way around London, can be quite challenging
Nathan
Especially when you have a pea brain
Nathan
Like you do
Y/N snorted, started typing a text out right away as she held onto the blue pole for dear life.
Y/N
Scientists have been working for years to find a brain inside your gigantic head, seems it’s too small to be found, even under a magnifying glass
Because of poor reception, the text did not send, and the thought of being so low underground that she had trouble reaching her loved ones, suddenly scared her a bit. Y/N closed her phone and looked up at the tube map as the speaker overhead announced their arrival at Canary Wharf, people milling on and off the train.
Y/N saw something just before the door closed. She stopped breathing. It was only for a split-second, but she could swear she had seen something. She recognised the denim jacket, the hair, the smile. No matter the scenario, where she was, what was happening, Y/N would remember and make out her sister. She would recognise her anywhere. This was no different.
However, it had only been for a single second, not even that. The doors had closed before Y/N got to take a proper look. Right away, she closed her eyes tightly, willing her violently beating heart and pulse to slow down. It had just been a hallucination; it had not been real. I had just been a hallucination; it had not been real, and she continued to tell herself that until the train started driving away from the platform. Once she finally opened her eyes and looked out of the train windows, the darkness of the underground tunnels had surrounded them. Marcela was nowhere in sight.
Y/N leaned her forehead against the blue pole, feeling a slight layer of sweat over her cupid’s bow and forehead. The Marcela hallucination had affected her more than she thought it would have. Taking a deep breath, Y/N kept her eyes shut and her mind closed until she reached North Greenwich. Then, forcing the image of her sister away, Y/N walked off the train the second it stopped and almost ran for the exit and fresh air. Marcela was not alive; she had been dead for three years. She had been murdered three years ago. Neither hallucinations nor will would bring her back, it was time Y/N made her brain believe that as well.
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illegal-spiegel · 3 years
Text
smoky ink
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x gn!reader Genre: fluff, crack?, vague smut Warnings: drunken tattoos w Denki, groping Summary: Playing truth or dare with Denki while you were drunk ends up being a huge mistake when you get a tattoo of something from one of your favorite heroes on your ass.  Word Count: 4k words A/N: Happy birthday, boom boom boy!!🥳❤️
1k Followers Event prompt #34 “Do I have to pull down my pants to show you?”
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In hindsight, you should’ve known better than to play truth or dare with Denki while you were both drunk. Honestly, it’s your fault for giving in and playing the dumb game with him, again, while you’re drunk. 
“Truth or dare?” he asks, a sly smirk on his face. You’ve been picking truth this whole time, but you can only do truths five times before you’re out of truths. 
Deciding to just go ahead and get it over with, you sigh and give him a bored look as you say in the blandest voice possible, “Dare.”
He pretends to think about it as if he didn’t already know what he was going to dare you to do since he first asked you to play. “Tell Bakugou that you like him or get a tattoo with me. A tattoo of my choosing,” he offers, the smirk getting worse the more he speaks. 
You should’ve known. You honestly would’ve texted him, told him, and then lied, and said Denki did it, but you didn’t like the idea of him even wondering if you actually liked him, that there was a possibility of it. What if he reacted badly before you could even explain what had happened? 
Yeah, no thanks. 
“Let’s go get a tattoo then,” you state boldly as you stand up off your bed, already slipping on your shoes, albeit very slowly thanks to the alcohol in your system. He pouts at you as he lets out a long groan, his body flopping back onto your bed. 
“You’re so boring!” he whines, slowly bringing himself up to glare at you. 
“Oh, so should I dare you to tell a certain someone that you like them?” you challenge, a smirk of your own coming to your face. His face goes pink at your words, his head shaking left and right rapidly after a moment. 
“No,” he mumbles, getting off your bed and putting on his own shoes. Once you two are ready to go, you open up your door and step out into the hallway. Just as you’re shutting your door behind you both, Bakugou emerges from the door down the hall that leads to the stairwell. You make eye contact with him before his eyes shift to Denki who is standing behind you. 
Just as your door clicks shut, Denki wraps his arm around your shoulders and starts leading you down the hall towards him. Bakugou doesn’t wait a moment longer before walking down the opposite hall towards his bedroom. You let out a soft sigh as you reach the top of the stairs, slowly starting to climb down them. 
“Don’t look so down! Midoriya probably just pissed him off again or something,” he reassures, bumping his shoulder into yours. You force a smile to your face and direct it at him, bumping him back. 
“Race ya!” you shout before taking off down the steps, almost tripping several times. 
“Hey! That’s cheating!” Denki roars, swiftly following after you. You laugh loudly as you take two steps at a time, trying to beat him to the bottom. You both jump at the end, landing on the floor almost at the same time. 
You’re not sure who won though. 
“Ha! I won!” Denki boasts loudly, throwing his arms into the air. This makes you scoff, your hands finding their way to your hips while you try to regain some of the air you lost into your lungs. 
“As if! I clearly won that!” you claim, unsure if you’re even right or not. You both go back and forth the entire way out of the building, only waving to people you pass as a greeting since you’re so involved in your argument. 
Once you’re outside, you wrap your arm around Denki’s neck and tug him down to give him a noogie. He shouts and tries to pull away, but you keep a strong hold on him. “I yield! I yield!” he shouts, finally making you let him go with a satisfied grin on your face. 
“That’s what I thought.”
You two walk to the closest tattoo and piercing parlor, both of you bubbling with nerves and excitement. As you walk in, you take in the place with innocent, round eyes. 
“Alright! I’ll pick out your tattoo and you can pick out mine!” Denki informs before taking off to the opposite end of the shop. You chuckle softly as you watch him go, starting to walk around to look for available tattoos.
You end up choosing a Pikachu one for him, feeling satisfied with your choice. You just hope he is serious about this and doesn’t choose something completely ridiculous. 
Once you both have your tattoos, you each hide the tattoo you picked out from the other as you meet back in the middle. “I found the perfect one,” you say confidently. He chuckles as he secretly looks down at his phone. 
“Oh, I think mine is much better,” he chirps. You squint your eyes at him in suspicion but ultimately let it go, walking over to the artist that will be tattooing you both. 
“You’re first,” you tell him, wanting to make sure that he’s going to actually go through with this instead of just making you get one on your own. After arguing back and forth a couple of minutes, he eventually gives in. 
“Fine, coward,” he jabs, slowly taking his seat. You decide to let him pick where he wants it, knowing that if you don’t, he’ll choose a terrible spot for you in return. He ends up getting it on his chest, deciding to put it right on his right pec. 
“No peeking,” you declare as you show the artist what he’s getting. Denki huffs as he peels his shirt off, laying back in the chair and tilting his head back to make sure he doesn’t peek. 
To your surprise, Denki doesn’t nearly complain as much as you thought he would. Sure, he grunts and flinches every once in a while but all in all, he just quietly sits there, quietly looking up at the ceiling as the mechanical sound of the needle thrumming fills the room. Well, that is until the tattoo is completed. “Jesus! That hurt more than a buttcheek on a stick!” he exhales dramatically, quoting a video that he saw forever and a half ago. 
“Alright, no peeking until mine is done,” you remind, laughing lightly at his words while you take your seat. Denki playfully salutes you before pulling out his phone to show the artist what you’re getting as they clean up the equipment, and you can’t help the nerves that start spiking out of nowhere. 
“Where do you want it?” 
“Um, how big is it?” you tentatively ask, hoping Denki wouldn’t do something extreme. The artist looks over to Denki, silently asking him how big he wanted the piece to be. Denki furrowed his eyebrows as he thought over it for a moment, before lifting his hand and making a circle with his thumb and index finger. 
“About this big, I’d say,” he ultimately says. The circle is about as big around as the diameter of his wrist. You let out an audible sigh as you try to figure out what the tattoo he planned for you was going to be. You wanted to have a little more faith in your friend, you really did, but it was hard when that friend was a total jokester like Denki.
“Can I just get it on my ass?” you ask softly, letting out an awkward laugh to mask just how nervous you truly felt, but it doesn’t quite give the effect you hoped it would. The artist simply nods as Denki starts cackling in response. 
“Seriously, (Y/n)? Have some faith in me!” he teases between chuckles, knowing you only wanted it there to hide it. You glare over at him, slowly taking off your pants before folding them up and placing them off to the side to be out of the way. You turn to lay on your stomach, trying to ignore how warm your cheeks were getting out of the embarrassment of the situation.
“Damn, (Y/n)! What you doin’ out here with all that ass?” Denki jokes, making your blush worsen as you quickly whip your head around to shoot him a hard stare.
“Stop being such a pig and come hold my hand!” you hiss, the look you’re give him turning to one of pure ice when he just laughs and rounds the table to come sit in front of you. He finally takes your hand with a smirk, kissing the back of it. 
You scoff, rolling your eyes at him as you try to mentally prepare yourself for the pain that you were about to endure. When the needle first makes contact with your skin, you jump a bit and tighten your grip on Denki’s hand. You fight villains almost every day of your life and have almost died on numerous occasions, and yet, this seemed to hurt worse in comparison. Though, this definitely helps you sober up somewhat. After a while, you start to get used to the pain of the needle making passes over your skin and start to feel your muscles relax a bit, Denki further helping you relax as he distracts you by talking away. 
Once your tattoo is finally done, you slowly stand up and waddle over to the mirror with Denki. “On three. One, two, three!” You count down before turning to look over your shoulder at the tattoo. 
“Woah! It looks so good! Thanks, (Y/n)!” Denki cheers. You can’t bring your eyes away from your left ass cheek though, your mouth not cooperating with your brain. 
Sitting there, on your skin forever, might you add, is a tattoo of Bakugou’s green gauntlets surrounded by tiny explosions and smoke. You’re not sure how to react at first but it comes to you quickly. 
“I’m going to kill you!” you shout, noticing that he is already running away. You chase after him, without pants, by the way, for a moment before the tattoo artist asks you both to calm down. You clench your jaw together while walking back over to the artist, letting them properly wrap up both your and Denki’s tattoos. The entire time you were glaring at Denki though, swearing to yourself that you’ll really kill him this time. 
“You must be a big fan of Dynamight’s,” the artist comments as he finishes wrapping up your tattoo, your face heating further at his comment while Denki does his best to hide his laughter, and failing miserably.
Once you both pay and are good to go, Denki rushes out of the shop with you trailing not too far behind as you start to chase after him again, both of you having a lot of pent-up energy from sitting down for so long. Once you finally catch up to him, you grab him by the collar of his shirt so he can’t escape while you prepare yourself to clobber him. But before you can get a good swing in, he lifts his hands up in surrender, offering to take you out for food in exchange for not hurting his precious face. You shove him with a scoff, his hand coming up to rub the spot where you grabbed his collar from. 
“Fine. You’re paying for everything though.” 
Humming contently as you lead the way to find a good place to eat nearby.
After getting a fill of some food, the both of you start walking back to the dorms, before realizing that it’s been long enough for you to take off the plastic wrap covering your tattoo. You’ll ignore it for now though, deciding that you’ll do it once you get back into your room. You’ll probably cover it up again after getting a picture of it just to make sure it doesn’t get infected though.
“I can’t wait for Bakubro to see your tattoo. He’ll finally know how much of a fan you are,” Denki teases you as you two near the dorms. Your face warms as you raise your hand to hit him with a shout, making him yelp and take off again. 
“Come back here, you gremlin!”
You chase him all the way back, cursing and shouting at him the entire time as you try to catch him. You’re panting for air by the time you come inside, trying to ignore the stares everyone is giving you. Denki is breathless from running but somehow still manages to laugh at your angry face. He crashes down into a seat beside Kirishima and leans against him for support. You glare daggers at him while you stomp on over, ready to throw hands with him. 
“What’s going on with you two?” Jiro asks with a raised brow, looking between you and the electric blonde.  
“Nothing!” You answer quickly, your face flaming with heat. No one can find out about your new tattoo. No one. 
“Awe come on, don’t be shy, (Y/n)!” Denki teases, wiping tears of joy away from his eyes. 
“Shut it, Denki!” you shout back, hitting his shoulder with as much force as you can muster. 
“Ow! Hey! Quit it!” he shouts before flicking your forehead. 
“No, you quit it!” you retort, flicking him right back. 
You two go back and forth until Bakugou, who you failed to notice until now, directs a glare at you both with a shout.
“Will the two of you extras shut up? Why are you even arguing in the first place?” he roars, making you both fall quiet. You, obviously, didn’t plan on answering that but you should’ve known that Denki would. 
“(Y/n) got a tattoo!” Denki screeches out before you can stop him, gathering everyone’s attention. 
“Did not! He did!” You shout right back, hoping no one can tell how flustered you are. 
“What? No way! You got a tattoo? Let me see it!” Mina gasps before clambering up to tug at your shirt collar and sleeves to try and find where it’s at. 
“I can’t!” 
“Yes, you can!” 
“I can’t, Mina!”
“Why not?” she whines, tugging on your shirt like a toddler now. You go quiet at that, trying to think of a good lie to tell her. 
“Because she got it on her ass!” Denki declares, making you whip around to glare at him. 
“Why you—” you start as you jump for him, his eyes widening as he quickly hops up to run away again. You can’t even chase after him either thanks to Mina grabbing your arm and dragging you towards your room with a few of the others you’re close with in tow. 
“I want to see it right now!” she shouts, almost making you trip from how fast she’s walking. Once in the safety of your room, you tug your pants down enough to show them your new tattoo. 
“Oh my god…”
“(Y/n)!”
“I can’t believe it!”
“I know. It’s terrib—” you start to say before someone else cuts you off.
“It’s so good!” 
“Yeah, it looks great!”
“What?” you ask in shock, feeling your jaw drop in surprise. Are they serious right now? It’s embarrassing! 
“It looks so good! I want to get one now!”
“Where did you go?” You can’t even take any of them seriously right now. 
“Guys, it’s a disaster!” Mina rolls her eyes at you, moving to sit on your bed as she looks at your tattoo again. 
“It is not. Stop being so dramatic.”
“I’m not! What if Bakugou finds out? He might kill me!” 
“If, (Y/n), if he finds out,” she replies with a smirk, leaning back on her hands. You stare at her for a long moment before slowly nodding your head back at her, your shoulders starting to relax. 
“Right, yeah, if he finds out,” you reply with a sigh, pulling your pants back up and laying down onto your bed with a sigh. 
What you all forgot about was a crucial detail though. That detail is a loudmouth blond who is one for drama and pranks. 
You don’t even realize you fell asleep until you hear swift knocking at your door. You groggily sit up and rub at your eyes, finding everyone is already gone. You must’ve fallen asleep sometime after laying down and they let themselves out. 
You bring yourself out of your short daze when the knocking swiftly returns much louder this time. “Yeah, I heard you the first time!” you quip as you climb out of bed, mad that you’ve been woken up from such a nice sleep. 
When you open the door, Bakugou is the last one you would’ve thought to be on the other side. You silently gape at him for a second, having trouble finding what to say. A simple ‘hello’ would’ve been fine, but you couldn’t even muster that up. 
Your eyes widen further when he pushes past you into your room, your eyes finally blinking. “Sure, come on in,” you mumble sarcastically and close the door, turning to face him only to find him already staring at you. 
“Is it true?” he asks vaguely, your half-asleep brain still trying to fully wake up and process what’s going on. 
“What?” is all you can find to say in response. 
“Is it true you got a tattoo of me?” he further asks, his eyes staring deeply into yours to gouge your reaction. All at once, you become a blushing and stuttering mess. 
“What? No! Of course not! Who gave you that crazy idea?” you sputter, pressing yourself back against the door. 
“Denki did. He told me that you two went to go get them earlier,” Bakugou further explains, taking a step closer to you. The room suddenly feels too warm for your liking, the air becoming dry in your lungs. 
“Well, Denki is a liar…” you mumble, looking away from him. You make a mental note to literally kill Denki later. 
“Show me.”
“What?” you ask, your eyes snapping back to his face to find that he is quite serious. 
“Show me the tattoo,” he demands, his voice becoming a tad bit softer than before. You gulp at his commanding voice, starting to shake your head and press yourself further into the door. 
“No.”
“Why not?” he asks, his brows knitting together. Why does he seem surprised?
“Because I can’t,” you explain, watching his brows now furrow downward. 
“Yes, you can.”
“No, Bakugou, I can’t. Just let it go,” you reply with a sigh, looking away from his eyes once more to look down at his shoes. 
“No, I’m not letting it go. It’s of me anyway, isn’t it? You’re required to show me,” he pushes, taking another step towards you and getting into your personal bubble. 
You place your hands onto your hips with a huff and shift your gaze to his, glaring up at him. “Do I have to pull down my pants to show you to get you to shut up?” you hiss, feeling your face become as hot as an inferno. 
He crosses his arms over his chest and glares down at you. “I guess you have to,” he sasses, making you angrily frown at him. 
“Fine!” you snap before turning around and tugging your pants just far enough to reveal your tattoo. You don’t hear him say anything or even gasp, your heartbeat in your ears the only sound that you can hear. You wearily look over your shoulder to look at him, your breath catching in your throat when you see the look on his face.
His eyes have drooped and become half-lidded as he stares down at it, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. You don’t dare speak, afraid that if he turns that look onto you, you won’t be able to control yourself. 
You don’t have to speak though since he can feel your heavy gaze on him. When his eyes shift up to meet yours, you wonder if he actually stopped breathing or if your mind is playing tricks on you. His eyes go back down though and a gasp rips out of you when his warm fingers gently graze over the tattoo. 
“Why?” he suddenly asks, your frazzled mind barely catching what he said. Your brain is deciding to focus more on how his fingers don’t seem to be leaving your ass anytime soon. 
“Why what?” you stutter out, followed by a gulp when his other hand moves to gently clasp your hip. 
“Why do you have a tattoo of me on your ass?” he whispers into your ear, his body heat radiating through you to your very core. You shiver and turn your head forward again, pressing your forehead to the wall to help ground yourself. 
“Denki picked it out,” you explain, sucking your lip into your mouth. He grunts at your answer and pulls away from you, making you turn around to face him in search of his touch again. 
“Denki? That’s it? No other reason?” he asks, his eyes not meeting yours. Your brows knit together at his question, your mind racing at what he could have possibly wanted to hear. It couldn’t be-
“Well, he’s technically not the only reason,” you mumble, distracting yourself by looking off to the side where a picture of the gang rests on your bedside table. You remember that day like it was yesterday. You all had decided to go to the beach and the picture was taken right as the sun hit the water on the horizon. You got a stranger to take the photo for you and Denki had shoved you and Bakugou together. By looking at the picture, you can just remember how warm your face had gotten being pressed against his side like that. It only got hotter when he had wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 
“So what’s the other reason then?” he asks, stepping to the side to block your vision from whatever you were staring at. 
“Why do you think?” you quip. 
“I’m guessing it’s because you have a fat crush on Dynamight,” he teases, his usual smirk finding its way onto his lips. 
“Maybe I do, what about it?” you sass, giving him your own smirk, even though you’re secretly dying on the inside from embarrassment.
“Well, it’s a good thing he likes you back, seeing as how you got a tattoo of him on your ass,” he bluntly replies, forcing his way into your personal space once more, but this time he presses his front against yours. 
You both stare into the other’s eyes, trying to decipher what the other’s next move is going to be. Almost at the same time, you both surge forward and smash your mouths together. The kiss unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before, a new fire igniting in both of you. It’s quite sloppy, your teeth gnashing together and angrily biting the other’s bottom lip. 
His rough hands squeeze your hips as he pulls you closer to his body, grinding himself into you. One hand wanders and immediately heads for the tattoo that you hid from him after he first touched it. He aggressively kneads the cheek without the tattoo, tracing over the image under your jeans with his other hand. 
“Mind if I get a better look at it?” he breathlessly inquires, his hooded eyes meeting yours. Instead of verbally responding, you connect your lips together once more, urging his hands to the front of your jeans to tug them back down your legs again. He does so with ease, only pulling away from your hips to peel them down your legs. He cups you through your underwear, giving a low chuckle when you let out a whimper.
“More,” you beg, impatiently tugging your underwear down just enough for him to see how ready you are for him. He lets out a satisfied hum and brings his hands down to your bare ass to give each cheek a firm squeeze, being mindful of the tattoo that’s towards the top. A loud whine escapes you before you can trap it, his lips finding their way to your neck. 
“Why don’t you lie down on the bed on your hands and knees to give me a better view of that tattoo?” he mumbles against your skin, his ears being met by a complying moan in response.
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whereisten · 4 years
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Cat and Mouse
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | more coming soon
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Summary: You’re the daughter of an extremely well-known pastor. You’ve lived a quiet and sheltered life, that is until you meet and fall in lust with a gang leader they call the Grim Reaper.
Pairing: Gang Leader And Yandere!Taeyong X female reader (college student)
Genre: angst, SMUT, violence, if you squint there may be some fluff
Warnings: graphic and violent scenes described, murder, mentions of religious practices (this in no way is meant to offend followers of Christianity), blood and death mention, character death, gun and knife mention, profanity, toxic relationship, little alcohol use, drug addiction themes, stalking, manipulation, blackmail, waterboarding (torture), obsession, posessiveness, sexual assault is briefly mentioned. Breast fondling, thigh riding, corruption/innocence kink, pet names, recording of sexual acts, oral sex (male and female), car sex, unprotected sex, penetration, sir kink, breeding kink, bdsm themes (choking, restraints, knife play, intense gun play, blood play), orgasm denial, overstimulation, c*eampie. Ohmygodihopeilistedeverything
Word Count: 26.2K (I had to make up for not updating this for MONTHS)
Tag list: @teddybella @suhfluffy @adorejaehyn @jennieshairstrand @markyongcore @promisesandchances @yeetyeethoe @ericafujimura @5shotsamericano @jonginvlog @dudamoreira12 @saratyongf @ncteaxhoe @steamyjaehyun @neostains @stansuperm @alreadyblondenow @suhweo @daanniee @shiningstarsarah @kikomizukii @thepeachystars @ashleyyxoxo @katallest-katolis @onestop-shot @lollokilnala @jaehyunswifey​ @chlwpgk​ @theworld-accordingtocasey​
DISCLAIMER AND A/N: where do I start? First of all, as mentioned in part 1, Taeyong is a manipulative and evil man in this, please remember this is fiction and definitely DOESNT represent the real Taeyong. The acts of violence are graphically described, I’m talking blood and gore, please do not read if you are sensitive to these things. Also, Taeyong is yandere in this, Hes not a true and honest lover and I hope that we all understand that what he does is sickening and wrong. This is also influenced by the manhwa, Killing Stalking. With that being said, I am so sorry for taking forever to update this, but I hope you all think it was worth the wait at the end❤️
[A Week After Thanksgiving]
“Mark...I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
You held Mark’s hand as you exited the elevator in the hospital and squeezed it lightly.
Mark turned and gave you a small smile. “It’s alright, thank you for being here with me now.” His eyes were wide and adorable as they always were. He had no idea that you were the cause for his pain, that you knew exactly who hurt him and could bring him to justice, but refused to.
Taeyong wore his skull mask when he attacked Mark and refused to mention you, so Mark thought he was just the victim of a random attack..he didn’t think it was—personal.
It had a been a few months since it all happened and you were slowly becoming more comfortable with keeping the truth to yourself. After all, you loved Taeyong, you were dating now and you couldn’t bear the thought of being without him. He made you feel wanted, desired, and loved. He showed you new things, he made your life so much more exciting that it was before.
Yes, he messed up by hurting Mark, but he told you he would never do it again..just as long as you did what he said.
And so you hoped that he’d never discover you here with Mark today at the hospital. Mark had to take a few X-rays to ensure that his ribs were healing correctly. You went with him because it’s the least you could do for being the cause of all this.
The two of you now waited for the doctor to come in with the X-ray prints in his assigned hospital room. You shimmy off your coat and hang it on a hook by the door while Mark lays in the hospital bed, still in his gown.
“These gowns are kinda awkward, like If I sit up right now, you’d get a clean look at my bum.” Mark laughed, his eyes shutting tightly.
You laughed out too. “Oh, then don’t sit up please, just imagining that makes my eyes water.”
“Y/n...there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you..” Mark cleared just throat as his tone grew more serious.
Oh no. Is he going to ask you about that night? Does he know that you know who his attacker is?
You nod slowly and bite your lips.
“I feel like..we’ve known each other for a while now..and with finals coming up and everything..I know we’ll be away from each other for a while..but when all this is over..would you like to go..ice skating with me..just me?”
Your mouth falls open and your eyes widen. Was he really asking you out?
“You know..there’s that new park with the Christmas lights and cool decorations..we can grab something to eat before..or-or after, whichever works for you..” Mark swallows hard as he waits for your answer.
“Mark...that’s really..this is really sudden..I’m not sure..”
“It’s okay! Don’t worry about it.” Mark gives an awkward laugh.
“I-I appreciate it, Mark. But I’m kinda seeing someone right now.” You pout and look away from his round eyes.
Had you not known Taeyong, you probably would’ve gone with Mark. It was an adorable idea, you loved spending time with him. And while you couldn’t see him as a romantic interest for all these years, maybe a date would’ve changed your mind. But it was too late, you loved Taeyong.
“Oh? Who is it? How have I never met him?” Mark’s mouth fell, but he didn’t look upset, he looked happy for you rather.
You nodded quickly and opened your mouth to speak, but the grumbling of your stomach interrupted you. You laughed in an effort to cover up the sound, but Mark’s eyes floated down from your face and to your stomach while you clutched it.
He smiled slowly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t eat anything before we came here.” You looked away, feeling your face become hot.
Mark chuckled. “It’s okay! I’m hungry too, there’s a Starbucks downstairs, wanna grab something for yourself and for me too?”
“Sure!” You jumped up from your chair, thankful for an excuse to leave this somewhat awkward conversation.
“I’ll be right back!”
You headed downstairs and ordered a protein pack and coffee for Mark and a muffin for yourself. You thanked the cashier and hurried back to the elevator.
It was crowded with people at first, but as you approached your floor on one of the higher levels, more and more visitors, nurses and doctors started to exit.
All except for one.
The man dressed in scrubs kept his head down, his hair tucked into a blue surgical cap and his face covered with a face mask. You stood in the corner of the elevator and watched him closely. Something about him seemed off. Why was he holding his head down? Why did he stand in the middle of the elevator with his arms crossed?
But then again, maybe he was worried about something, maybe you were over thinking.
You sighed and leaned your head onto the wall. It felt like the longest ride ever to your floor. You looked at the numbers on the elevator light up as you passed each floor.
But then, you heard the man chuckle lowly. It was a haunting sound, a familiar sound.
His crackling voice echoed in the now empty elevator. Your brows furrowed and you stood up straight. 
“Oh little mouse, what am I going to do with you?”
That voice..
Taeyong turns and walks towards you and before you can even comprehend what’s happening, he presses your body into the corner of the elevator.
You fall back, your grip on your bag with food and coffee tightening as you swallow hard.
Taeyong’s eyes are dark, filled with fire and disappointment as he stares into your eyes.
You barely recognize him in the doctor’s uniform, but you finally notice the neck tattoo he had.
How did he know you were here?
Your mouth falls open, you can’t even form coherent sentences as he towers over you and gives you an evil look like he’s ready to kill you slowly..and painfully.
“You love him, don’t you?” Taeyong spits out angrily.
“Wait..wait Tae, I can explain.” You shake your head.
“He doesn’t have anyone to go with him to his doctors appointment, it’s the least I could do.”
“I don’t give a shit if that loser doesn’t have anyone to be with, you aren’t supposed to be here! You were supposed to listen to me! How many times do I have to tell you you’re mine?” Taeyong’s voice grows louder, he slams his hand onto the wall beside your head.
“You’re the one that put him here! How can you be so..so selfish? He doesn’t deserve any of this?!”
“And I do? I deserve to be hurt by you going behind my back to be with him? You aren’t loyal to me and that hurts, y/n.” Taeyong’s face softened a bit as he searched your eyes.
“Behind your back? You’re not my father! I don’t have to answer to you, you won’t even claim me to your friends and you expect me to be loyal to you?”
“Oh and loyalty? Taeyong, I could easily tell everyone all that you’ve done. I could tell the police, news stations, EVERYONE..”
Taeyong suddenly grips your throat, stopping you mid rant, and leans in closer. “But you won’t..will you?”
You grit your teeth, breathing heavily as he tightens his hold.
“Everything I did, I did for you..you ungrateful brat.” He releases you, but quickly takes you by the wrist and leads you out of the elevator. He hurriedly brushes past all of the nurses in the hallway, no one suspecting him even as he drags you behind him.
He finally finds an empty room. He tosses you inside and locks the door behind him.
He takes your bag and coffee from you and places it onto a table by the window, leaving you standing there in the middle of the room with your mouth agape.
He stares out the window and begins to talk to himself.
 “I let you out of my sight for one moment and you do this to me? I thought I was clear the first time. But it seems I wasn’t. Oh little mouse, don’t you know I don’t like repeating myself?”
 He turns back to you slowly. His low eyes stare into yours as he takes his mask off, and you finally see the handsome face of your lover.
His lips are pursed and he steps closer to you.
“Taeyong..” you swallow hard, nervous by his calm demeanor. He watches you like a predator watching his prey, he’s unpredictable and like a stranded gazelle, you’re not sure what to do, where to run to.
Do you run out the door and make him even more upset? Do you press the buzzer and call for help?
You could do anything to get away from him right now, but you don’t. Why? Because you want him.
“Get on the bed..” once in front of you he pushes your chest lightly, making you stumble on the hospital bed behind you. You push yourself up on both elbows while breathing heavily, watching as he crawls over you slowly and carefully.
His breath now on your lips as you tremble under him. “How will you make this up to me, little mouse?” He tilts his head and stares at your lips, the gazes down your neck.
“I-“
“Put your hands above your head..”
On impulse, you do as he says.
He still stares at you while grazing your neck lightly with his soft lips. He dips his hand into his pocket and pulls something out, but you can’t figure out what it is.
His eyes break away fro your neck and go to your hands where he tightens one zip tie around each wrist and the metal bar of the bed.
He tightens them tightly, watching as you squeal and fidget under him.
“Taeyong..I want to touch you..please.” 
Your high pitched begging and innocent expression almost gets to Taeyong, but he shakes off the feeling and stares at your chest sticking up in the air.
He pushes himself up away from you, forcing your legs further apart as he takes a kneeling position between them.
Your button down dress rides up your thighs and to your hips as a result, just barely exposing your panties to him.
Taeyong bites his lips and runs his hands up your thighs slowly while groaning. His thumbs press into the soft skin as they work their way up to the apex of your legs.
Your breath hitches and you lick your lips.
“Taeyong..touch me.”
“You’re always begging, little mouse.” Taeyong  chuckles, his hands now running up your sides and squeezing your breasts through the fabric gently.
A shakey breath leaves your lips as you wriggle under him, anxious to feel more as your panties become increasingly wet just from his touch.
He takes your lips on his into an angry kiss, biting the bottom and licking over it. 
He slowly pumps your breast through the fabric, adoring your mewls and the way your head falls back as you ache for more.
“Wearing black I see? You’re dressed appropriately for a funeral.” He chuckles through his lips now covered with your red lipstick then takes his own time unbuttoning the buttons one by one to reveal more and more of your beautiful skin.
Once all of the buttons have been undone, he separates the limp fabric covering your chest and stomach.
You hiss with the sudden exposure to the frigid air.
“Oh? And no bra? Is this how Mark likes it? Oh, what has he done to my innocent girl?”
Taeyong’s look of danger makes you move under him again. His dark eyes are so tempting, but mysterious. You just wish he’d touch you again.
“We..we never did anything, Taeyong. I promise.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” Taeyong runs his cold hands up your abdomen again, this time, letting them rest around your neck, as if to choke you once more.
You fidget under him while you try to think of what to say.
“You’re squirming like there’s something inside you already maybe we should get it out.” Taeyong lets your breasts go and reaches over for something on the small table beside the bed.
He raises the shiny object to his face and smiles widely. “Let’s play doctor.”
His husky voice lets out.
He brings a scalpel to your chest with the sharp blade just barely pressing into it.
You take in a sharp breath, your chest collapsing at the feeling of the cold metal on you.
“Taeyong..”
“Taeyong? It’s doctor to you.”
“Doctor..what are you doing?” You gulp.
Taeyong’s mouth tilts upward into a smirk as he watches the scalpel dance on your skin, threatening to break into it if he just applies a bit more pressure.
“How does this feel, little mouse?” He draws the scalpel along your thigh now, stopping just before your folds.
“Is it cold? Does it hurt?” Taeyong pauses before continuing, looking into your large eyes and glancing down at your swollen, parted red lips.
He then looks down to your beautiful skin and hums lowly. “Mmmmm I like the way your skin is reacting.”
Your arms and neck are littered with goose pimples, every slight tough from the knife makes you shiver, but you’re even more turned on for some reason.
“Can you feel the edge when I press it into you?”
Taeyong looks into your eyes as he presses the scalpel a little harder onto your belly.
“Y-yes, I can feel it, Doctor. Please, don’t hurt me.” You bite your lips.
Taeyong chuckles. “I’m not going to hurt you, I’m in control, just relax. I haven’t actually cut you..yet.”
He bites his lips then looks down at your hard nipples. He feels his member poke through the thin fabric of his scrubs, he knows he can’t hold back, but he’d love to have you like this for a longer time. You’re tied up and on full display just for him. Your eyes still hold that innocent look that he adored. That unknowing look that makes him so weak as he ruins you time and time again.
He circles the scalpel around your nipple. The delicate feeling makes your head spin. You can’t think of anything but him. You moan and bring your body up towards him more.
“Please.”
He looks down at your soaking panties and smirks. “You seem to be liking this a lot.”
He uses a finger to bring down the thin fabric covering your aching opening. You jump in response to his finger just barely grazing against it.
He then takes the scalpel and slowly cuts the fabric, your pussy now exposed to him. He licks his lips and leans down to lick your nipples.
“Yes...that feels good.”
You swear you could cum just from the feeling of his wet tongue circling around your nipple.
He sucks on it fervently as you struggle against your restraints. You can feel his hard member brush against your folds and you just want to stroke it before greeting it with your needy flower.
Taeyong then kisses your neck, his hands still pumping your breasts as he grinds down into you.
“Tell me..where it hurts..” he says in between kisses.
“Tell the doctor what you need, little mouse.”
He licks a long stripe up your neck then bites into it as you yelp.
“Please..Doctor. I need relief down there. I need you to fuck me.” You whine and struggle again.
Taeyong groans and lowers the waistband of his scrubs. He pushes two fingers deep into your opening without warning. Your legs shift on the bed as you throw your head back and moan loudly. 
“How about this?” Taeyong teases you as he slowly moves his fingers in and out, curving the top of them so they hit your sweet spot.
And while it does feel good to have something inside you, you know you need more.
“No..no doctor, I need you.”
Taeyong chuckles as he takes his fingers out and replaces it with his dick, pushing into you so hard, the bed creaks as it moves and hits the wall.
“Yes! Yes, that’s it.” You cry out.
He sucks your nipple again, but your silk walls closing around his aching member makes him dizzy. He anchors himself with his hands on your thighs and focuses on pushing in harder, deeper than ever before.
Your mouth falls open as he ruins you, driving you crazy with each thrust. The sounds of his low groans and his hips snapping into yours fill your ears.
Your mind goes empty, you can only think of one word.
Taeyong.
He’s all you can think of as you begin to unravel. He soothes your nerves and needs with his cock stretching you out and you couldn’t be more relieved.
He takes your ankles into his hands and places both legs on his shoulders, burying into you at a different angle.
Your head falls back as you moan loudly, not caring about who could possibly hear you in the hallway or next room over.
He smirks as he looks down at you going insane from his movements. He then places two fingers onto your neglected clit, massaging it as he slides in and out of your quivering pussy faster.
“Oh, I’m going to..I’m going to cum.” Tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You’re so overwhelmed with pleasure.
“That’s it, little mouse, the doctor is making you feel so good.”
He sticks his tongue out and licks your breast again, covering it in spit as you begin to leak onto the sheets below you.
Your eyes shut tightly and begin to roll in the back of your head as you cum.
Taeyong continues to fuck you hard, the metal bar hitting the wall at a steady pace now as he approaches his own high. He watches your quivering pussy swallow his dick and coat it in your cum.
Your body falls weak while you come down. You can only feel over sensitivity as Taeyong continues to use your body. He watches your breasts jump with each thrust and groans, your eyes wet with tears and your wrists becoming irritated from struggling against the zip ties. Everything about you is so perfect to him.
He slides out of you quickly before stroking his member and releasing onto your belly.
He breathes heavily, locking eyes with yours while every drop escapes onto your perfect skin.
He collects the cum with the scalpel he placed to the side. You tremble and watch.
“Open your mouth.” He demands.
You open your mouth and stick your tongue out.
“Lick it, carefully, we wouldn’t want that wonderful tongue of yours getting cut, would we?” He places the scalpel with his cum onto your tongue. You lick it off slowly, praying that you don’t cut your tongue in the process.
While you do that, he traces his fingertips around and in between your folds to collect your juices, then sticks his fingers into his mouth and licks the essence off.
He leans down and kisses you, his tongue circling around yours to combine your seed with his.
You moan into his mouth as you kiss and taste each other.
When he pulls away, he looks onto you lowly and licks his lips.
He tucks his member back into his pants and gets off of the bed while wiping his mouth.
He watches you on the bed with your arms tied to it still, you look up at him questioningly. Why was he taking so long to let you loose?
He fixes his mask over his face. “You’re too good to let go..I’ll have to kill Mark for good.”
Your eyes widen and you tug harshly against the ties. “No! No, no you can’t!”
“Why not? Do you love him?”
“Taeyong! It’s not like that at all! Please trust me, he’s just my friend.” You start to cry, there’s nothing you can do, you’re tied to the bed.
“I'm doing this for us.” Taeyong takes the scalpel and puts it into his shirt pocket before heading to the door.
“No! No you can’t! There’s cameras! You won’t get away with this, Taeyong! I swear I will tell everyone the truth this time!” You tell in a last minute attempt to stop this crazy man from hurting Mark.
Taeyong chuckles. “That almost sounded like a threat..” he turns back to you and gives you a dark expression, you tremble and cower down.
“but I’ll forget about it because I love you..also, my guys will take care of everything, even getting you out of here.Just sit tight while I take care of this.”
Taeyong ignores your cries, shuts the door, and hurries to the elevator. He heads up to Mark’s floor.
Once on the floor, he walks over to the nurse at the main desk on the floor and asks for his room.
“I’m Doctor Lee, I need to follow up with a patient named Mark. Which room is he in?”
Meanwhile, you yell loudly, trying to get anyone’s attention while also trying to slither out of the ties. But unfortunately they’re too tight. The floor also appears to be relatively empty as no one seems to hear you.
After several minutes, a nurse finally runs into the room and is startled to find you naked and tied to the bed.
“Please! Please stop him! He’s gonna kill Mark!”
The nurse runs over to the bed and quickly looks for scissors to cut you loose. “What happened? Who did this to you? Are you okay?”
You’re hysterical as she cuts you loose. She can barely figure out what you’re saying. “No, please don’t worry about me! We have to find him before-“
“Shhh..ma’am you have to breathe, you have to slow down, I am going to help-“
She’s interrupted by the sound of a loud alarm blaring through the hospital.
“Code Red! Code Red! Everyone please find an escape route or escape room immediately.” The automated message echoes through the halls then repeats again.
The nurse’s eyes widen while she helps you button your dress up.
“Code red? Shit.”
“Miss, what does that mean?!” You jump off the bed and rub your wrists.
“That means there’s someone yielding a weapon in the hospital, they may or may not have already hurt people. Come with me! We have to go to the escape room!” She takes your hand as she opens the door, but you pull it away and run off towards the stairwell.
“Ma’am!!” She yells after you but you don’t stop, you run up the stairs to Mark’s floor.
Tears continue to fall as you sniffle and run.
You can’t believe you were so stupid to let Taeyong do this..again.
You could only pray that you would reach Mark in time.
You push the door open and are finally on Mark’s floor. As you run towards it, you notice there’s a loud ruckus by his room.
“No..”
You run even faster, pushing past the nurses as you get closer. But what you see stops you in your tracks.
Mark is on the hospital bed being pushed by several nurses and a doctor. They hurry to an operating room, but it seems like you were too late. 
Your hand flies over your mouth at the sight.
The same scalpel that Taeyong used on you sticks out of the brown haired boys neck. Blood gushes out and splatters the nurses uniforms. His eyes are closed and he seems to be choking, begging for air.
“I’m not getting a pulse! Move faster, we’re running out of time!!” A nurse yells as they rush past you.
Time seems to move in slow motion. You can’t think clearly, you can only feel pain. Your head spins. You hold onto the wall for support. How could he do this? How could he kill someone innocent? This was all your fault. 
You held your head in your hands and screamed loudly as you banged it onto the wall behind you.
“This is all my fault!! Oh, God! Why?!” You cry uncontrollably.
All the memories of Taeyong flooded your brain. It’s because of him. Your life turned upside down because of the devil with a sly smile and tempting touch. And you fell for it every time, like a fool, you fell into his trap.
You had to get away from him, he wasn’t going to let you go easy, you had to run.
So you bolted out of the hospital and into the snow without your coat or cell phone so he wouldn’t be able to track you.
You ran fast, the cold, harsh air stabbing your throat. Everything became a blur, you couldn’t see where you were going, but you knew that you just had to keep running.
You finally found a bus that had just approached its stop. You jumped onto it and headed to the back immediately. You sat down and held your face in your hands as you sobbed quietly, eventually drifting to sleep.
————
You’re woken up by a quick tap on the shoulder.
Your eyes open slowly to see the bus driver smiling at you fondly.
“Ma’am, this is the last stop.”
You sit up straight and rub your eyes. “Wh-what time is it? Where am I?”
“It’s 10 p.m, you’re at the last stop on the east side of town. Are you..alright? Shall I call for someone to help you home?”
You shake your head and look outside to see darkness. “No..no I’m fine, I’ll just go, thank you.”
You grab your bag and step off of the bus, walking quickly to the brightly lit downtown area. There had to be somewhere that had an available phone to call your parents from.
But then again, should you call them? What if Taeyong tapped their phones too? What if he was after them now that you were missing? He wouldn’t hurt them if they truly didn’t know where you are, right?
You hold yourself tightly and continue to walk briskly through the freezing streets.
“Miss? Do you need a coat?” A man calls out to you, but you shake your head and walk faster. The last thing you wanted was for some random man to try to “help” you.
Additionally, you didn’t know how many men worked for Taeyong. Once he told them to look for you, they could be anywhere, just waiting in the shadows to grab you up.
You found a table outside of a restaurant and sat down to take a break once you were far away from the man.
You held your head down and rubbed your eyes. 
What could you do now? You’re alone in a new town with no cellphone and you can’t just call your parents or friends.
You were too busy in thought to notice that the lights in the restaurant had been shut off now.
“Ma’am, excuse me, but we’re closed now and I have to put the chairs away- wait, don’t I know you?” The man’s voice interrupted you.
You looked up slowly and sat back in your chair. “Ah yes, I’m sorry, I was just resting..”
You wipe your eyes then rub your hands together to warm yourself, but when you look up at the man speaking to you, you instantly recognize him.
“J-Jaehyun from History 201?”
Jaehyun smiles and drops the garbage bag he’s holding.
“Y/n? How are you? It’s nice to see you.”
You nod and smile. You hoped you didn’t look at terrible as you felt. You had been crying all day, your eyes must’ve looked ridiculously swollen.
“I’m-I’m sorry, for uhhh, coming here like this.”
You looked down at the floor, and away from his handsome face.
You always had a weakness for Jaehyun. He was your partner in class last year and helped you with your final project the most. He was kind, always sparing time to help you with flashcards and study for hours into the late night at the library.
“Oh, no worries! I haven’t seen you around campus a lot this year, it’s nice to see you now! Wait, where’s your jacket? It’s freezing out here.”
“Oh..I don’t have one, I sorta ran here..actually, it’s a long story.”
“I’ll be right back, I’m gonna close up and grab you a coat, okay?” Jaehyun smiled widely then grabbed the garbage bag and turned the corner to go to the dumpster.
You immediately jumped up and started walking. 
Not again, not again. 
You couldn’t get another innocent and kind person involved with Taeyong. If he or any of his men even glimpsed Jaehyun with you, they’d beat him to a pulp.
You paced through the streets, and looked around for any restaurant that would be open late.
You felt terrible for running away from him when he was only filled with good intentions, but you had to to protect him.
About fifteen minutes into walking down a new street, you hear the honking of a car horn.
You step to the right and further away from them, but the person slows down and matches your pace. You don’t dare to look over, you only walk faster and look for possible routes to run through to get away from them.
“Hey! I told you to wait! What are you doing?”
Jaehyun yells out through the passenger window.
“Please, Jaehyun, I just can’t..I can’t be seen with you right now. It’s difficult to explain.” You held yourself and marched forward.
“Whatever is going on with you can wait! Right now, you’re about to catch pneumonia if you don’t get out of the freezing cold. Hop in! And I’m not asking this time.”
Jaehyun turns his car in front you swiftly once at a pedestrian walk way, you’re forced to stop walking. You look up at him with red, watery eyes.
“Please, y/n..I want to help you.”
You take one final glance at the area around you and see no one in sight, so you jump into the car and take off.
——————
Jaehyun takes you to his small apartment.
You step into the living room as he locks the door behind him.
“Do you live here..by yourself?”
Jaehyun chuckles as he takes his coat off and throws it into the coat closet.
His muscles now showing clearly in his tight white shirt.
You gulp and look away quickly.
“Yes, I live here by myself, over 15 miles away from campus..why? Well, for starters, that restaurant we were at is my family’s restaurant. It’s left in my care, so I have to be closer to it than I am to school.” Jaehyun shrugs before continuing. “And no roommates because who wants to be so far away?”
You give a small smile and look at the tiny but cozy apartment. It was much different from your house where you had floors and rooms that were endless.
No wonder why Jaehyun is so humble and giving.
“Yeah, it’s not much, but it’s enough.”
He trots past you and to the kitchen. “Take a seat, I’ll get you a glass of water.”
Jaehyun washes his hands while you sit down onto the couch in his living room. He then sits down beside you and hands you a glass.
“Do you need anything? A jacket, a blanket, change of clothes?” Jaehyun stares at you through wide eyes.
You laugh and smile widely again. “You’re too kind, Jaehyun..but some sweats and a T would be amazing right now.”
Jaehyun immediately jumps up and heads to his room. A few minutes later he hands you Nike sweatpants and a plain white T. 
“The bathroom is on the right, feel free to change in there.”
You thank him profusely before heading to the bathroom.
You cringe when you see yourself. Your hair is messy, unkempt, your eyes are swollen like they were stung by bees, and your neck donned a love bite courtesy of Taeyong.
You washed your face and did your best to fix your hair before heading out.
Once beside Jaehyun, you take a deep breath and explain everything to him.
“Jaehyun...I don’t know what to do..I hope that you will not judge me.” 
Jaehyun shakes his head. “It is not my job to judge, y/n, go on.”
“There’s a man..I love him..well, I think I love him. He makes me feel...new, unexplainable things. He makes my heart weak… but Jaehyun, he is a bad man. He’s hurt my friend, and I-I dont think I can be with him anymore..” you start to cry again. “So I ran away.”
“Shhh..shhh don’t cry, you did the right thing. It hurts now, but I believe you will be happier now that you are away from him.” Jaehyun holds you close, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and looking into your eyes deeply.
Jaehyun was right, you were away from him and running was the right thing to do. But why did it feel wrong? Why do you feel guilty? Why did you feel like the one that betrayed him?
“Would you like to tell the cops about him?” Jaehyun rubs his hand along your arm. His touch is soothing, his broad chest makes him feel at home. You slowly start to lean into him more.
“No..no, I still love him. I can’t..plus he’s smart, he’ll get away with it, and take me again.”
But you want to be taken, don't you, little mouse?
You close your eyes tightly in an attempt to drown out his voice.
“That’s alright then, y/n. We don’t have to tell anyone.”
Jaehyun whispers.
Tell him what I did, tell him how good I made you feel just today. Your legs around me as I fucked you hard into that flimsy hospital mattress. Your essence dripping down your shaking thighs, the way you called my name...
You breathed slowly. Don’t think of him, don’t think of him.
“I’m so scared, Jaehyun, I don’t know what to do. What if he hurts someone else that I love?” You sob into his chest.
“Don’t be scared, y/n. I’m here now, he won’t find you in this little, dingy apartment, okay? And you can stay here as long as you’d like, don’t worry.”
You nod. “I-I don’t have my phone because that’s what he uses to track me. Jaehyun, he’s a dangerous man, you must not tell ANYONE that I am here.”
Jaehyun’s brows furrowed. What kind of man would track his lover? He didn’t like the sound of him, but he was happy to know that you were out of that crazy man’s grasp and with him now where you’d be safe.
“I understand, y/n. I won’t tell anyone, not even your parents.”
You smile and thank him once more.
“You can sleep on the bed, I’ll take the couch.” He says before standing up from beside you.
—————
[One Week Later] 
It’s been a few days since you ran away. You stayed inside Jaehyun’s apartment quietly, not even opening the window to look out at the sunshine and snow.
Jaehyun would visit you during the day whenever he had time. He just wanted to make sure you were safe.
But then he’d leave and head to work or school to prepare for exams.
You prepared for exams on an old laptop that he found at a thrift store for you. You would draft up emails to all of your professors, letting them know that you wouldn’t be able to attend class because you were mourning the death of your close friend, Mark.
Jaehyun would then send the emails once he was on campus so that if Taeyong and his men decided to hack into your account and search for you IP address, they would be met with the college IP address and not Jaehyun’s.
It was an elaborate, but tiring plan, but so far it seemed to work. 
Jaehyun also visited the post office to drop off a letter for your parents. You hoped it would get to them for it explained that you were alright and safe far away from the college. You stated that you needed to take some time away to grieve your loss and you hoped that they would try to be okay with that.
Knowing your parents, you knew they would have a fit at you running away and leaving your cell phone behind. But they had no choice but to accept it, for your safety and for theirs.
The news of Mark’s death hit everyone hard. You saw your college mates mourn and host a vigil on the news and cried once again. They said that the murderer snuck into the hospital in scrubs and a face mask, but all security footage for that day had mysteriously been “lost.” They had no face on camera, and no one to give a description of who the assailant might be...other than you, of course.
You could never forgive yourself for what you did to him. How could you have been so naive?
Now, Mark was dead and his family and friends were experiencing immense pain. 
You silently cried yourself to sleep that day, praying to God for forgiveness.
Taeyong, on the other hand, wasn’t begging for forgiveness. No, Mark’s murder was nothing to him. He was going to take you away from him, and that couldn’t happen, so he got rid of him just like any other enemy that threatened his peace and tranquillity. Instead, Taeyong went about  threatening anyone and everyone in an effort to find you.
Taeyong was furious when Taeil tracked your phone only to find it still at the hospital. You had vanished out of his sight for the first time since he met you, and that was unacceptable.
He slowly started to feel himself go psychotic. He couldn’t focus on other tasks, jobs were incomplete as everything came to a standstill because of his preoccupation with finding you.
“She’ll be back, she has to come back.” Taeyong paces about his office.
“Don’t you think you’ve taken this a little too far?” Johnny sits in the leather chair across from Taeyong’s desk and purses his lips.
“No..no I don’t think I’ve taken it too far, Johnny, but you know what I do think? I think you and the rest of these guys are fucking lazy! You’re supposed to be the best of the best and you can’t find a fucking college girl? How far could she have gotten, she doesn’t even have a car!”
Taeyong slams his hand onto the desk.
Johnny sighs. “We’re doing the best we can, we’re looking for the spoiled brat 24/7. There’s only so many places we can check, wherever she is, whatever hole she’s in..we’ll find it. But I must ask, what if she doesn’t want to be found, Taeyong? If she’s gone through this much trouble, are you sure she loves you?”
“Shut up!” Taeyong throws his sands of time stature to the ground, leaving sand and broken glass everywhere.
Johnny remains unfazed in his seat, for Taeyong did have these tantrums every now and then.
Taeyong walks over and stares at the broken pieces before bending down to pick one up.
“What about her piece of shit father?” He asks, still staring at the three-edged glass in his hand.
“He knows nothing… we traced all his emails and text messages, but nothing. It seems she’s run away from her parents too. Maybe she’s just tired of this privileged life.” Johnny shrugs.
“I don’t believe his lying ass, and you shouldn’t either. Has he agreed to meet with me yet?”
“He won’t meet with you, Taeyong, he's pissed enough to know that you’ve gotten to his daughter. He doesn’t even care that we’ve slowed down our deliveries.”
“Hmmm I guess I’ll have to get nasty with him..” Taeyong’s dark eyes widen as he smirks.
Johnny raises his arms. “Taeyong, when’s the last time you slept? You look like a raccoon. I’ll call over our favorite girl, you know the flexible one. God, I love when she takes us both, that college girl of yours could never do the things she does.”
Taeyong steps towards Johnny, still gazing at the glass with a wild expression.
“Get a good fuck and sleep well after, what do you say?” Johnny lifts the corner of his mouth into a smile.
Taeyong leans down and into Johnny’s face. Johnny's brows furrowed as he leans backward and away from him.
But Taeyong holds the back of his head with one hand and presses the edge of the glass into his neck with the other. 
Johnny groans as it just barely pierced his skin. “Taeyong, what the f-?”
“I don’t want anyone but that “spoiled brat,” and if I don’t get her, I’ll kill all of you myself. I’ll start with you first..so the next time you get a coffee or bagel from Gordo’s, let someone else taste it first..it’d be a shame for it to have just one extra...and deadly ingredient.” Taeyong presses the glass in harder as Johnny hisses.
His eyes widen, Taeyongs grip on the back of his head tightening, his nails digging into his scalp.
“I love her and she loves me..but you wouldn’t know anything about love, would you, Johnny? If you did, you’d know that lovers have to fight sometimes. Not everything is all roses and fucking flowers. She wants me to fight for her, and that’s what I intend on doing. So stop opening your mouth and get moving, I don’t want my dick sucked tonight.”
“You’ve lost your mind.” Johnny lets out once Taeyong releases him.
“And that’s the bad part, Johnny, I haven’t lost it yet. I’m just getting started.”
Johnny huffs and heads for the door.
“Oh, and Johnny boy, send Taeil in.”
—————
[One Day Later]
Your parents eat their dinner after a long day of work combined with worry for your safety. Your dad tried to keep your mother calm and collected, but she struggled to swallow each bite.
“I-I just don’t understand..” she puts her fork down and holds her head in her hands.
“She’s fine, honey. We should just trust her and continue the search. The church has done a wonderful job with helping us look for her. But thank God we received a letter.” Your father continues to chew.
“It’s not enough, how do we even know she wrote that? And that Taeyong guy, why does he keep asking to speak with you about her? What does he know?”
Your father slams his fork down and looks at your mother. He takes her hand and places it onto the table while looking sternly into her eyes.
“Don’t..you ever call that name in this house. He’s a fool and he will never get close to our family.”
“He already has! Him and his men have stalked me for days! I don’t know what they plan to do to us, I’m scared.”
“Don’t worry about them, they’d be foolish to lay a hand on you.” Your father looks into your mother's eyes deeply.
“What have you done? Why are they after us?”
“I haven’t done anything except serve the good Lord.”
He looks onto the table.
She pulls her hand away. “Do you think I was born yesterday? I know all about your dealings with him..” she looks up at the gold walls and fancy paintings around the dining area.
“Do you think I believe all this came from the church? You must think I’m those idiots that you preach to, believing nonsense.” She scoffs.
Your father gasps. “How could you say that? The church..our religion, it isn’t nonsense! I thought you changed from that sinful girl I met so long ago, I thought you were better than this..”
“And I thought you were better than to get involved with a gang leader! But look at you! Desperate for more than we NEED! How is this a Christian life? Look at the example we set for our child, we’ve taught her this lavish lifestyle that we can’t even say we’ve earned honestly like good people, where is our humility?!”
“We’ve set an amazing example! Do you remember where you were before you met me, on the streets scouring for your next fix! Imagine raising your child while in that state, without me!”
She sits and gives him a harsh look before opening her mouth to respond. “You’re full of sh-“
But a loud, compilation of multiple sounds fills the house. Your parents cover their ears.
“What the hell is that?!” Your mom jumps up and looks around. It seems all of the televisions in the mansion have turned themselves on.
“What in God’s name?” As your father listens closely, he recognizes something from audio of whatever is being played on one of the televisions.
I want us to cum..together. I want you to get so full of my cum..Do you want me to fill you up?
He hears the man say.. then a high pitched moan follows.
Yes..sir.
No. This can’t be happening. It couldn’t be your sweet voice.
Your father jumps up and runs to the closest television screen, the one in the living room.
Your mother follows behind. “What is going on? Was there a power surge or something? Why are they all-“
She stops talking as she is stunned by what is being played on the screen at full volume. The noise is almost unbearable.
The video of you being taken from the back by Taeyong plays on the large screen. Your hair messy, mouth open as mewls and moans spew out, your naked body being pummeled into by the demon as he grips your waist and pulls you onto him. You look into the camera and at yourself before letting out a loud whimper.
Yes...sir, oh God, Taeyong..please I’m gonna..
Your father turns away and stares at the floor intently, trying to drown out your cries and the sounds of skin slapping on skin in the video.
“Oh God! Turn it off!!” Your mother yells.
Your father then looks around the room for the TV remote, finally finding it on the couch.
He firmly presses the power button, but nothing happens. He runs up to the TV and presses the power button on its base, but still nothing happens.
“No..this can’t be happening.” He mutters, his eyes widen.
A new video then starts to play, displaying you naked and kneeling on the ground below Taeyong. Your father recognizes his tattoos as he rubs his thumb along your round lips.
Stick your tongue out, little mouse.
Ah yes..just like that..
Taeyong groans as you lick his tip leaking with precum.
“Unplug the damn thing!”
Your mother yells again as she turns away and covers her ears.
Your father finally reaches behind the TV and tears the cord out of the socket.
Your parents breathe a sigh of relief as the video stops playing.
However, they would now have to unplug each and every TV in the house that blasted a sexual video of you.
“What is this? Is he doing this to blackmail us?” Your mother starts crying.
“I’m going to kill that bastard…”
“He’s ruined our daughter! Oh, God..how could we not see the signs?” She runs off to her bedroom with her ears still covered. The house is filled with the music of your moans and Taeyongs grunts. All the videos of you and him that he had taken played throughout.
Your father’s face is haunting, he looks dark, strange, his eyes shaking as he thinks of what to do next.
————
[Two Days Later]
Your mother enters the hair salon as she usually does on a Tuesday afternoon.
She greets the stylists and goes to the back room where her hair is to be washed before the cut.
After waiting for about 10 minutes, a stylist enters the room and places a black robe around her, tying it in the back.
“How are you today?” The male voice says smoothly.
“I’m alright.” Her eyes are still a bit red from crying, she was really worried for you, especially after seeing the videos that Taeyong had taken. She’s too preoccupied with her thoughts to look up at the man.
“Lean back for me. Close your eyes, just relax.”
The man takes her head and leans it against the wash bin as she moves to get comfortable.
“I can tell you’re going through a lot right now.”
“Yes...I am.” She nods slightly and closes her eyes.
The man hums then places a small amount of shampoo onto her hair before wetting it with the hose.
He massages her scalp with slow and tenuous movements, pressing his tips into her scalp while making circular motions.
His thumbs place pressure onto the back of her neck, carefully kneading into it and loosening a knot.
“That feels good...I don’t think I’ve had you before..” your mother lets out, she’s holding back an embarrassing moan, for his fingers just feel so incredibly good.
Her mouth falls open.
“Of course you’ve had me before..”
“I would definitely remember these hands.”
The man chuckles. “Oh? I hope your daughter remembers them.”
Her eyes open quickly. “What did you say?”
She tries to sit up in the chair, but the man grabs her by the hair and forces her back down.
“Relax, mom..it’s just me, Taeyong...I’m not gonna hurt you if you do what I ask.”
He continues to massage her scalp and hums a low tune. Your mother's eyes grow, she looks above her and sees the red haired man with crazy eyes. She reaches back to grab at his arms, scratching his skin as she squirms in her chair.
“Let me go! Let me go! Help! Someone help me!”
She yells for help, but the terrified stylists in the salon's main lobby sit in silence. Johnny has already locked the doors to the salon and holds two pistols in his hands, ready to aim at anyone that makes the slightest move.
“No one can help you, my love, only you can help yourself.” Taeyong smiles then grabs her arms and places them across her chest.
“I’m gonna ask you once..” he walks around the chair and bends down over her, gazing into her teary eyes.
“Where is she?”
“I could ask you the same question! What have you done to her?”
“Everything I did to her you’ve already seen on your TV. I know you’re hiding her from me. Where. Is. She?”
“Fuck you! You’ll never see her again! Even if I did know where she is, you’d have to walk over my dead body to get to her!” She spits out but Taeyong only laughs. He looked crazy, his red hair disheveled and eyes dark, his skin was extremely pale like he hadn’t gone outside for a while.
“Sweetheart, that’s no problem for me, but I’d rather not have to watch her mourn your death.”
Taeyong walks behind her and turns the hose on again, but this time he grabs a towel from the counter behind him.
He forces your mother’s head back, nearly breaking her neck in the process. She grunts and breathes through gritted teeth before grabbing at his arms again.
He throws the towel over her face and pours water onto it. Your mother starts to choke, she can’t breathe as water soaks through the towel, flooding her mouth and drowning her slowly. Her nostrils flare as they attempt to take in oxygen, but only take in water as well.
She flails about in the chair, her legs stomping and her nails leaving deep scratch marks into Taeyongs skin.
Taeyong hisses but laughs as she struggles to breathe.
“You’re a tough one. But all you have to do is tell me where she is..”
A muffled scream escapes.
“What was that?” He turns the hose off and lifts up the part of the towel covering her mouth.
She takes in a deep breath and coughs up water.
“Please! Please stop! I don’t know where she is!”
Taeyong replaces the towel and begins to waterboard her again.
“Hmmmm do you expect me to believe that?” Taeyong growls out. He’s growing impatient.
Another muffled sound escaped her after a few seconds.
Taeyong lifts the towel. “Ready to talk now?”
“Yes! Yes..” she chokes.
“I think her father knows..where she is, he told me that a member of the church saw her..please you can’t hurt her! She’s not a piece of shit like my husband is. She’s kind and a good person, please I beg you to not take out your frustrations on her.” She sobs.
Taeyong lifts the towel off completely.
“I won’t hurt her..I love her. I’m just a little..upset is all.” Taeyong speaks softly. 
“And your husband..well he’s been ignoring me..that doesn’t make me happy..”
She stares and shakes like a cold, wet dog.
“Call your husband..” he hands her phone back to her.
She hesitantly dials him up. Her mind is filled with regrets for giving in, how could she put your life at risk? How could she tell the truth about your father getting info from a man that saw you in the city on the east side? The man said he had seen you come off of the bus and offered you a coat, but you quickly refused and walked away. That’s when he saw you meet up with a guy at a restaurant not too far away.
Your father had already figured out who you were with after he visited the area himself. He’d seen Jaehyun close the restaurant, he followed him home and the next day he followed him to the library on campus.
He had an insider watch closely over Jaehyun’s shoulder as he signed into your email account.
The truth was known to him, but he wouldn’t tell anyone or seek you out himself. He thought it’d be best if it remained a mystery. Even to his own wife.
“Hello?” Her husband answers.
She sniffles. “He’s here...you have to tell him where she is..or he’ll kill me!”
“No, oh God, no...where are you?!” He asks but before she can respond, Taeyong grabs the phone away from her and presses the ‘FaceTime’ button.
Once he answers, Taeyong smiles widely and places the phone in front of your mother. He rests his chin on her shoulder as she cries.
“Hey there, pastor, long time no see.”
“Taeyong..you maniacal asshole, leave my wife out of this!”
“But why? You’ve been ignoring me so I decided to spend some time with her. I must say she’s a lot nicer than you. She reminds me of your daughter too..”
He looks at the side of her face before kissing her cheek softly. “I miss her so much.”
“She told me that a little birdy told you where y/n is..let’s not waste anymore time. Tell me now!”
“I can’t do that, I can’t put her at risk!”
“Are you sure you want to keep saying no to me?” Taeyong grabs a pair of trimming scissors behind him and holds it to her neck, pressing the tip in to show obvious indentation.
Your mother cries out loudly. “Just do it!”
He shakes his head and bites his lip. “I’m sorry, honey, but I can’t give our daughter to him.”
His wife’s eyes widened. “You-you can’t be serious..you’re gonna let him kill me?”
He starts to tear up. “To protect our daughter...I have to.”
Taeyong chuckles. “Well, would you look at that..the crazy bastard doesn’t care about you.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” The pastor shakes his head as it lowers.
“But I know what he does care about..money..”
Taeyong lifts the scissors out of your mother’s neck and places it onto the counter.
“See..I knew he wouldn’t care if I threatened your life, mom..I knew he wouldn’t care if I posted those videos of me fucking his daughter all over that grand house of his..but I do know he’d care if he loses his church..”
Taeyong takes his chin in his hand.
“What would happen if during one of your wonderful sermons..I put those videos of me and your daughter on the big screens.. Ah yes that online streaming service you have that reaches millions..oh, how disastrous would that be? All those families tuning in to porn unknowingly..you’d be ruined, wouldn’t you pastor?”
“How could your daughter be with me, a gang leader?”
Your father looks back at the screen furrowing his eyebrows and tilting his head. “These threats won’t work, you wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, but let’s not stop there, pastor. Imagine what chaos would ensue if those emails between us just so happened to leak...a pastor..conducting the drug business in his own town?”
“Taeyong..”
“Just tell him where she is, God damn it! He’ll ruin us!” Your mother yells.
“Everything would be stripped away from you..it starts with the church, then harassment from the media as they call you a hypocrite…I’ve wanted to let the people know who you truly are for the longest time..I’ve spared you, but now, I have nothing to lose. I’ll fuck up your life, pastor.”
Taeyong grins an evil smile that the pastor just wants to smack from his face.
The pastor closes his eyes and sighs. He just couldn’t let the world know the true criminal he was and furthermore, he knew Taeyong would eventually catch up to you. What was the point of holding back?
Then, he thought of a plan, something that would catch Taeyong off guard. Taeyong’s weakness was that he believed he always had the upper hand in every situation, he’d never suspect what the pastor was about to do to him.
“Fine..but I won’t tell you where she is, I’ll bring her to you..tomorrow, meet me at the corner of 5th and Herst, in the alleyway. I’ll have her there for you.”
Taeyong smiles. “Perfect. Until then, your wife and I will keep each other company, maybe we’ll watch some movies and enjoy popcorn or something.”
“Taeyong, no, I need her.”
Taeyong chuckles. “Are you sure about that? Just a few minutes ago you didn’t care that I had a pair of scissors in her neck..”
“Yes but..”
“End of discussion,father, I’ll see you at 9 tomorrow night. And don’t even think about bailing on me, because for each minute you’re late, I’ll remove a finger or toe from your beautiful wife.” Taeyong ends the FaceTime call.
————
[The Next Day 9:30 PM]
Somehow, you were able to burn the onions.
You turned away for just a split second, then turned back to see your once white onions become black.
“Damn it.”
That’s when you hear the door open. You were cooking dinner for you and Jaehyun. It was a late dinner, yes, but Jaehyun had to close the restaurant. 
“What’s this?”
Jaehyun laughed as he entered the kitchen and saw you tossing black onions into the sink.
“Uhhh..I’m cooking..well trying to cook spaghetti and meatballs..it’s not as easy as Gordon Ramsey makes it seem.”
You pout.
“Oh, you didn’t have to..” Jaehyun places his bag down and steps beside you in the kitchen.
“I know..but it’s the least I can do, you've welcomed me into your place and kept me safe, and for that, I’m forever thankful.”
“It’s nothing, really, I’m just helping you get away from what sounds like a crazy man.”
Jaehyun places his hand on top of yours.
You turn and look up into his gorgeous brown eyes.
He steps closer, his steamy breath tingling your forehead. You look at his lips and lick your own, you always had a small crush on him and now he was right in front of you, making your heart shiver and your mind cloudy.
He leans forward while still looking into your eyes 
“The pasta is sticking to the bottom of the pan.” He whispers, almost seductively.
Your eyes widen as you step back and turn to the pot with the pasta.
“Oh! You’re right, oh no!”
Jaehyun laughs out.
“Hey!” You smile, feeling your face become hot from embarrassment.
“You’re cute.” Jaehyun takes his bag out of the kitchen and goes to his room.
“Thanks but I just wish I could cook!” You yell out to him.
He changes into a white t-shirt and pajama pants and walks back into the kitchen after a few minutes.
He watches from the entry way as you pour olive oil,  a bit too much olive oil, onto the pasta. He smiles to himself.
“Being cute is enough, I like having you here.”
“Really?” You raise your eyebrows, then look back at him with an innocent expression.
“Yeah..” he nods and steps close to you once again.
“I-Jaehyun..I’ve always..” your words stumble out of your mouth as his close proximity makes you hot again.
He towers over you, licking his lips and crossing his arms. “Always what?”
You shake your head. You thought of Taeyong and how a part of you still loved him. Jaehyun was nice to you, you couldn’t ruin the friendship you had.
“N-Never mind.” You look away.
Jaehyun tilts your head back to his while holding your chin.
“Say it...please.”
You search his eyes, you’re enamored by him, completely taken aback by his touch and warmth.
You begged for God to forgive you for having sinful thoughts when you looked at him, you wanted to lay kisses onto his collarbones and run your fingers through his hair. You wanted him to kiss your lips for a long time as he wraps your legs around his waist and touches you..everywhere.
He leaned down, watching your lips part.
You were so close..but then..his phone rang.
He closed his eyes and sighed before stepping back. “I’m sorry, I’ll be right back, I think it’s my lab partner.”
You nod then turn back to your bubbling spaghetti sauce.
“I don't know what you’re talking about, I don’t know where she is!” You hear Jaehyun’s voice raise from his bedroom.
Your brows furrow. Who found his phone number? Who found him and possible found you? You hadn’t left his apartment since getting there.
You walk over to him and stand in the doorway, watching as Jaehyun angrily addresses the person on the phone.
“You’ve got the wrong number!” He hangs up and turns to you.
“Who was that?” You ask quietly, as if the person on the phone can still hear you.
“Someone that claims to be your father..”
His phone rang again. 
Your eyes widened as you stared at his phone screen. “Ask him..what time was I born.”
If it’s him, you needed to talk to him, you needed to tell him that you’re okay.
Only you, your father and your mother knew the time you were born.
3:33 A.M
Your father always praised it as a holy time. “You’re an angel” he’d always say.
Jaehyun answered the stranger and asked the questions like you asked him to. “If you’re her father, what time was she born?”
He put the phone on mute then turned to you.
“he said 3:33 AM..”
Your eyes grew as you reached for his phone. “It’s him!”
You unmute it. “Dad?”
“Yes, dear, oh my God, thank God you're okay.” You can hear him start to sob.
“Dad, it’s okay, I’m okay.” 
“I knew my prayers would not be in vain..” he cries.
“I need you to come back, sweetheart. We’ve got him, and we are gonna put him away for good, but we need your help.”
“Dad..what are you talking about?”
You look up at Jaehyun, his arms crossed and his brows knitted.
“That crazy man! He’s been after you since you ran away, but I got him! I tricked him into meeting up with me. He thought I would turn you in to him, but instead I had the cops ambush him. They arrested him, he’s being brought to the station right now, thank God.”
Your head begins to spin, your eyes start to blur as water fills them. “W-what do you mean ‘they arrested him?’”
How did they find out that Taeyong was the one to kill Mark? And why did you feel a sudden sense of despair now that he was arrested? He deserved it, right?
“Taeyong kidnapped and assaulted you, that’s what I told the cops, y/n. I told them that you ran away to get away from him. You have to come in as soon as possible to give a statement.”
“No..n-no, dad I can't do that..it isn’t true”
Silence falls over the phone. “What do you mean?”
You start to sob as you thought of Taeyong and all of your moments with him.
“I-I love him. I can’t deny it, my heart hurts just knowing he might be put away.”
Even after all he did, you still felt something for him.
“Are you stupid? This man is a monster! I saw the things he did to you in those videos!” Your father spits out into the phone.
“Yes! And I let him do those things, I enjoyed it! I can't lie to you or to the police!”
“You leave me no choice! If you don’t come back, I’ll come and get you myself! And I’ll have Jaehyun arrested for kidnapping too!”
You gasp. “Dad..you can’t do that..” sniffling, you look up at Jaehyun.
“He has nothing to do with this.”
“Then come home and make a statement! This is the only way out..for BOTH of us, we have to take him down!” Your father yells over the phone loud enough for Jaehyun to hear.
You hang up the phone and hand it back to Jaehyun.
He shakes his head slowly as he takes it. “Y/n...you don’t have to go back.”
You wipe your eyes. “I’m sorry, Jaehyun, I’m so sorry for all of this. I have to go back and make things right or...you’ll end up like….” Mark. You didn’t finish your sentence because Jaehyun still didn’t know that you knew who killed Mark.
“End up like who? You know what, it doesn’t matter.. Y/n, just stay with me, you’ll be okay..” the sorrowful look in his eyes eats away at your heart.
He reaches out for your hand, but you pull it away.
“Jaehyun.. I’ll be okay, I’ll see you on campus.”
Jaehyun sighs and looks away.
“I’ll need a hoodie.” 
You grabbed one of Jaehyun’s hoodies and headed out of his apartment and to the closest bus station. Jaehyun walked you to it, and even waited for the next bus to arrive before he left.
As it approached, he felt his heart beat heavily in his chest. He was worried for you, but donned a small smile when you turned back to him to say bye.
You took his face in your hands and placed a light kiss on his cheek. He frowned as you pulled back and looked into his eyes.
“Goodnight, Jaehyun..I’ll see you soon.”
While on the bus, you thought of everything that happened. How worried and upset Taeyong must be about you running away. But he killed Mark, he killed an innocent person and your heart aches for your loss.
So why did you worry about Taeyong’s current state in jail?
Once at the bus stop, your mother gave you a big hug and held your face in her hands. “I’m so sorry to make you do this, honey, but I’m so happy you’re back home.”
You smiled softly, attempting to hide your worry as you looked into your mother’s drained face. She looked like she hadn’t rested or eaten well.
“I’m happy I’m home too.” 
Your father nodded and hugged you too, but didn’t say anything, even during your ride to the police station.
When you entered the station, an officer took you into a room where they would ask you important questions.
“Please let me go in with her, she’s probably traumatized!” Your father begged as they took you away.
“Sir..we can’t let anyone else in, she isn’t a minor, so there’s no reason for her to be accompanied by a parent. We will provide her with whatever she asks for and give her as much time as she needs to tell us what happened.” The detective spoke to your parents as they waited in the lobby.
Your heart ran wild, your hands shook and grew sweaty as you stood only in what seemed to be a slowly collapsing box. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as the clicking sound of the door shutting behind you echoed in the room.
It was just you and the detective now.
“I’m going to turn on the light in the other room beside us..Once it is on, you will be able to see the room through this one-way mirror. I need you to identify the man in front of us..but do not worry, we can see him, but he can’t see or hear us. I ask that you answer honestly, but do take your time. We need as much info as possible. Understood?”
You nodded and swallowed hard. “Y-yes.”
She flicks the light switch and your heart drops almost immediately.
Taeyong sits in the center of the room, his wrists bound together with handcuffs. He looks tired, pale, like he hadn’t slept since you left.
The bags under his eyes donned a dark, almost black shade, and made him look even more dangerous than he did before.
Your mouth fell open. He looked like a sad puppy for the first time, he didn’t look like someone that could possibly kill an innocent person. He didn’t look like a gang leader at all, no, he looked like an innocent boy.
You wanted to run to him, hug him and apologize for leaving him. You wanted to see him happy again.
You start to twiddle your thumbs. “I-I can’t do this.”
You turn to the detective, but she places her hand on top of yours and nods slowly. “Yes..you can. Don’t worry, survivors like you often have this exact moment of uncertainty. But it is important that you take your time. Let’s start with a basic question. Do you recognize this man?”
“Y-yes.”
“What is his name?”
“Taeyong..his name is Taeyong.” You slowly start to speak more.
“How long have you known the suspect?”
“Suspect..” you whisper. “I’ve known him since July of this year..but…”
“What is it?” She turns to you, still holding the voice recording device in her hand.
“Why..why is he a suspect? What did he do?” You sounded ridiculous to the woman, but she didn’t notice that your eyes had not moved from watching Taeyong. You were falling for him over and over again silently. If it weren’t for the glass in between the two of you, you would’ve taken him into your arms and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, for you had missed him as well.
Taeyong could sense your presence even though he couldn’t see you. He was pissed that he had been set up by your father, a part of him knew that his guys could get him out in time, but he still hated the fact that he was made to look like a fool.
He knew he would kill your father as soon as he could instruct an assassin to do so, but that still wouldn’t solve his ache for you. He was overjoyed when your father finally agreed to bring you to him, he even made reservations at the finest restaurant in town to celebrate your reunion. He would kiss your lips all night long and lay beside you until the sun came out. He would never let you out of his sight again. But sadly, tonight nothing went as planned.
And to hear his father accuse him of engaging in non consensual activities made him furious.
“Dear...you’re the one that claims he assaulted you..is this not correct?”
So he wasn’t being arrested and charged with Mark’s murder, they had nothing on him for that. He was being falsely accused of a crime against you.
Taeyong stands up and walks over to the mirror. His hands still in his cuffs as he places them flat against the mirror. He searches for your face, knowing he won’t be able to see it even if he tries harder, but hoping that you’ll see his face filled with regret and pain.
“Y/n…” he calls out to you softly.
You can’t hear him, but you can see your name fall from his sweet lips.
You place your hands onto the glass to match his, tears falling from your eyes.
How can you accuse your love of a false crime? Especially when he looked so weakened, so low and desperate?
“No..no he didn’t kidnap or rape me, it was all consensual…” you state firmly, your eyes still locked with Taeyongs.
“Are you saying that this man, Taeyong, has never touched you without your consent? It’s okay you can be honest with me, he can’t see you.”
You shake your head. “I allowed him to love me..each and every time...because I love him..we love each other.”
“Ma’am, do you wish to press charges against Taeyong?”
“No, no I don’t, I want to be with him.”
The detective sighs and clicks the stop button on her recorder.
“Okay, if that’s the case, then we will have to set him free.”
You step out into the lobby as your parents stand up to greet you. You wipe tears away. “I couldn’t do it..I couldn’t lie.”
Your father’s face falls. “W-what are you saying?”
“She has decided to not press charges, you guys are all set to leave, the suspect is a free man, so I’d suggest leaving before he does.”
“You can’t be serious! She’s being manipulated by him! That’s emotional abuse!” Your father yells.
“Sir..”
“Please, you have to understand, our daughter is not like this. He’s turned her into someone else..he’s violently seducing her.” Your mother begs.
“I understand, but there is nothing we can do. If she says she does not want to press charges, then we are only wasting our time here. Our station could be in deep trouble if we keep the suspect any longer just for your daughter to change her mind.”
Your mother looks away.
“Pastor..” the detective turns to your father, “please, come with me.”
You and your mother step aside while the two talk. 
“You of all people know how powerful Taeyong is..how could you get us into this mess?! He has information on all of us and we arrested him before he could use it against us, but now he’s free and aware of our plan! You were supposed to have her plead a case so strong, it would put him away for life! Do you know how much danger you’ve put me and the other sergeants in? This business that he runs affects ALL of us.”
The detective speaks angrily to your father.
The police were just as involved in Taeyongs drug movements as he was. They’d take a profit from the business made in the city, they were the ones that planted it on criminals that needed to be put away.. they also provided it to CEOs and big white collar men so that they wouldn’t be arrested for possession.
But the police had been upset for quite some time at how Taeyong controlled everything, they thought it should be one of their own, not some street kid that had killers everywhere, ready to strike.
“There’s no telling what he’ll do now.” The detective cursed.
“We still have the videos..” your father looked to the floor.
“Videos? What videos? The ones of them having sex like normal adults? Yeah, those are gone anyway, you know that hacker of his works fast.” The detective rolls her eyes.
“I’m sorry..but don’t worry, we still have another chance..”
The pastor had devised a backup plan in case this one fell through. He’d send you out of the country to another school and under a different identity. Then he’d tell everyone that you had been murdered by Taeyong, and would conjure up evidence against him.
You were in the car, heading back home when your parents started to argue.
“This is ridiculous!” Your dad yelled.
“Don’t blame this on her! You’re the one that got involved with this guy!”
“She has the power to end all of this!”
He retorted.
You sat in the backseat and looked out the window, thinking of Taeyong and whether or not you should’ve lied.
“But that’s alright, we’ll send her away to that one catholic school in Italy! She’ll be able to repent and beg for God’s forgiveness!”
Your father let out.
“What?”
You turned to him.
“You heard me..you’re going away, you’ll be finishing your studies elsewhere so you can be away from this monster and return back to Christianity. Don’t think you’re off the hook after what we saw in those videos. The sins you committed..I can only pray for mercy.”
“No! You can’t do that!” Your voice rose.
Your mother turned to you. “Your father is being a bit dramatic right now, but it’s true. It’s for your own safety.”
“Mom..don’t send me away..” you panted.
She reached out and laid her hand on your thighs. “Sweetheart, it will be okay, we will visit you whenever we can, and you’ll get to travel! It will be so exciting to leave this town behind.” She gave a small smile before turning back around. 
Your father calms down slowly. “Y/n..” he takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to be so harsh on you, but..”
“What..who is that?” Your mother squints and looks out onto the front yard of your house. 
Multiple men stand along the front of your house, dressed in black and those same glowing masks that you could never forget. They were haunting enough, but as they stood still with large weapons and motorcycles beside them, you felt a chill run down your spine.
“No…” your father says with wide eyes.
“It’s him.”
The car slowly comes to hault.
Your dad locks the doors. 
“Stay inside.”
“What are we gonna do now? The cops aren’t gonna come, are they?” Your mother rubs her temple.
When you look through the front glass you see him at the center, leaning onto his motorcycle.
“How the hell did they get through the front gate?”
“Don’t be an idiot, you know they have their ways.” Your mother turns to him.
But all you can do is watch Taeyong. The way he sits coolly on the bike, leaning his head back as he runs his fingers through his crimson hair.
He removes his mask and places it beside him on the seat.
He’s alluring, beautiful. The night sky only adds to his sexy and mysterious aura. 
“I want to go to him.” You whisper. “He’s here for me.”
“Are you insane?” Your dad turns to you.
“No, but you’ll send me off to another country whether or not I want to..I can’t do that.”
“Y/n..sweetie,no..” your mother starts but you quickly unlock the door and jump out of the car, running out of it and to Taeyong without care or worry.
You have no thoughts, just desire. You want to be beside him, you want to feel him again.
You hug him tightly.
“Little mouse..” he whispers into your ear while looking over your shoulder and onto the dumbstruck face of your father in the driver's seat.
He hugs you tightly and rubs your back. 
“Taeyong..I’m sorry, I was scared.”
“I know..but I’ll never hurt you, you know that.” He leans back and grips your throat while looking into your eyes. He gives you a wicked smile as he rubs his thumb along your bottom lip.
He then leans down and kisses you hard, forcing his tongue into your mouth.
Your teeth clink against each other as your heads turn.
You pull yourself closer to him, not caring about your parents or anyone else watching the two of you. You feel amazing, your craving is finally satisfied as his tongue licks your lips.
He pulls away and looks into your eyes. “We have a lot to talk about don’t we..”
Your father jumps out of the car and walks up to the two of you.
“This is enough! Stop terrorizing us! Give us our little girl!” He cries out.
Taeyong’s eyes flicker up to him as every one of his guys points their gun at your father in unison, stopping him in his tracks.
“You’ve got some nerve, pastor…” his mouth lifts into a smile.
“But I’ll make a deal with you.. I won’t tell anyone or the media about tonight or your involvement in drug crimes..”
Your mouth falls open, what did Taeyong mean?
“Just as long as you leave us alone AND pay all of us double the amount for each delivery.”
Your father stumbles over his words, his eyes racing from the men that point guns at him then to your face.
“Please..anyone, anyone but her.” He begs.
Taeyong chuckles. “No..no, I want her. She’s not just “anyone.”
He looks down into your eyes.
Your father sighs and accepts defeat, as he sees how enchanted you are by him. There is no going back, you've been completely corrupted by him.
“Fine. But please don’t hurt her.” He steps back.
“Goodnight, pastor..” Taeyong waves and smiles wickedly.
You jump onto Taeyong’s bike and head off to his apartment.
————
Once in his place, Taeyong takes you to his living room.
He instructs you to stand in the center while he takes his leather jacket off and plops down onto the couch.
“Taeyong..I’m sorry.”
You play with your fingers behind your back and bite your lips. He looked amazing in his black button up and black jeans. Three buttons were open to reveal his toned chest.
“I know you are...but that’s not enough..where were you?” He tilts his head and spreads his arms out along the top of the couch.
“I..I was with a family member on the east side. Please Taeyong, I was scared I didn’t know what to do! Please forgive me.”
“What do you do in church when you beg for forgiveness, little mouse?”
“I...pray, I get on my knees and pray.” You nod.
“Then what should you be doing right now?”
You instantly fell to your knees on the hard, cold floor. You whimper at the harsh pain you felt. 
You put your hands together. “Please..please don’t hurt anymore people.”
Taeyong’s cat eyes lock with yours as your heart races. “Little mouse...I was in so much pain when you left me. I’m upset so I need you to answer me honestly, where. were. You?”
You begin to tremble. “Taeyong, I’m here now, isn’t that enough? My aunt decided to help me deal with the loss of M-“
Taeyong’s eyes widened. “Mark? I got rid of him for you! For us! What is there to mourn?”
“Taeyong, he was my friend, nothing more, I need you to trust me if we are going to make this work.”
You licked your lips as you spoke through furrowed brows.
“I trust you..do you trust me to protect us? To protect what we have?” Taeyong leans forward.
You nod quickly. “Yes.”
He stares into your eyes for a moment then leans back into the chair. “Prove it, crawl to me.”
Your mouth opens to protest but the glint of danger in Taeyong’s eyes stops you. You just need to do what he says in order to get what you want. The aching in between your legs had no plan to go away until you were satisfied by him.
You crawled over slowly then kneeled once you got to his bent legs.
You sat up straight, the heels of your foot under your bum, and looked up at him through your lashes.
He was so handsome, you wanted to climb up onto his lap and make love to him.
He waved a finger. “Take your sweatshirt off..”
Taeyong had noticed that you wore a men’s hoodie, and he wasn’t too happy about it, but he ignored his suspicions.
“Who does this belong to?” He took it from you as you lifted it over your head, your breasts falling victim to the crisp air in the apartment.
“It’s my..cousin’s!” You answered quickly.
Taeyong threw it to the side and looked back at you. “I hate when you lie to me, sweetheart.”
“I’m not lying! I promise!”
Taeyong keeps eye contact with you as he reaches into his waistband and pulls out his gun.
He takes the safety off and places it right in front of you.
You shy away from the intimidating weapon and whimper.
“Taeyong!”
“If you’re telling the truth, lick it like it’s me, little mouse.”
You’re hesitant but raise your head back up. You stick your tongue out to lick the underside of the gun first, your eyes brimming with tears.
“Don’t cry, love, I won’t hurt you..even though I could pull this trigger right now and end it all..” 
Taeyong watches your eyes widen.
“I could end the pain that I’ve experienced because you threw me away.”
You shake your head. “I didn’t throw you away, I love you!”
“Keep going..don't stop until I tell you to, or I’ll be even more upset. What did you say we needed to make this work? Hmmm trust..that was the word. So trust me..”
Taeyong sighed
You continue to lick it, the cold metal leaving a bitter taste on your tongue.
“Use those pretty lips.” Taeyong feels himself harden in his pants as he watches you below him blow the gun like it’s him.
You flatten your tongue along the round tip of the barrel then sink down onto it completely. Your cheeks hollowing as you imagine that it is Taeyong’s tempting member in your mouth.
“Fuck..you’re beautiful..” Taeyong pushes the gun in and out of your mouth, watching as your spit coats the metal.
Your eyes are locked with his as he begins to palm himself through his jeans. He pushes the gun in deeper and faster  to hit the back of your throat. You gag as tears run down your cheeks.
He can’t take it anymore. He removes the gun from your mouth and places it down onto the couch behind him.
He quickly zips his pants down, allowing his cock to spring free. You lick your lips and replace the gun with his cock, enjoying the salty taste of his precum and moaning onto him. You move your head up and down rapidly, using your tongue and the plush inside of your hollowing cheeks to bring him to the edge. He groans and throws his head back.
He holds the back of your head and bucks his hips into you. You gag, his rough movements making your throat feel raw. Your jaw becomes locked. But he goes even faster then holds you down against him as he cums in your mouth. The feeling of him finally using you to orgasm is beyond satisfactory. Your underwear is soaked.
Taeyong pants and leans back into the couch. “Tuck it back in for me, little mouse.”
Taeyong flinches at the feeling of your cold, soft fingers on his limp cock.
You zip his pants up and wait for more instructions.
Through low eyes he motions for you to go to him. You stand up straight and wipe your mouth and cheeks.
“Take off your pants, sweetheart.”
You immediately draw your pants and underwear down in one quick sweep, your heart beats fast. You want to feel him so badly.
Taeyong bites his lips while looking into your completely naked body. “You’re gorgeous and you’re all mine..”
He holds your waist and brings you down onto his lap.
“Do you want to ride me like a good girl?” Taeyong’s husky voice enters your ear, his fingers dip in between your thighs, tapping against your dripping folds.
You hiss and breathe heavily.
“Yes..” 
“Yes, what?” Taeyong holds your neck and looks into your eyes.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good girl..” he pats his thigh.
You give a puzzled expression. “I-“
“It’s easy, just move like you did on the stool..” Taeyong smirks.
“Okay.” You nod and place your hands on his shoulders.
He grips your waist again and presses you firmly onto his thigh, pushing your body forward and backward while looking into your eyes.
You let out a whimper as the rough fabric presses onto your flower.
Your soaking heat coats his jeans. You move faster and faster. Taeyong watches your face twist as you experience a strange mix of pain and pleasure.
He presses his tongue flat against your nipple. You grip his shoulder harder and moan out his name.
He circles his tongue around the swollen bud then pulls away.
“How do you feel, little mouse?” He flexes his thigh under your open legs, making you yelp and fall forward at the unexpected friction against your aching pussy.
“It feels..so good, sir.” You struggle to get out, your hips rocking back and forth. You find that one spot that makes you weak and continue to ride against it. Your clit feels incredibly stimulated by the rough material. You feel raw, but sexy under Taeyong’s gaze.
“Sir..I’m going to..” you gasp.
Taeyong licks the other nipple while his hand massages your breast, pumping it while pressing his fingertips into the soft skin.
Your body shakes onto him, you throw your head back and moan loudly as you come undone on his thigh.
The combination of his swift tongue on your nipple and his clenching thighs on you sent you overboard. You saw stars.
Taeyong smirked then grabbed your ass to force you to keep moving on his thighs. You trembled and cried out as overstimulation set in.
“I’ve missed you, little mouse, I’ve missed the way you taste.” He whispers against your chest then lifts you up and places you onto the couch beside him.
You’re on your back still recovering from your orgasm when he crawls over you slowly. He holds your ankles kissing along your right leg as he slowly places it over the couch. He then lays down and faces your leaking and exposed pussy.
“Mmm so pretty.” His warm breath makes you flinch.
He picks up his gun and teases your entrance with it, sliding the metal in between your folds as you cry out.
“Taeyong!”
You try to pull yourself up on the couch, but he pulls you down by the waist. Your knees clink together.
He presses the gun into you harder, rubbing it up and down, just barely touching your clit. He spreads your legs open again, his fingers digging into your thigh.
He bites his lips as he uses the round tip to part your folds and tease your entrance, swirling around the juices that escaped earlier.
“Fuck..I wanna taste you..”
He licks the gun clean of your juices as he watches you below him with dark eyes, you lick your lips and moan.
“Ahhh you’re so needy, little mouse. Should I fuck you with my gun or my mouth next?”
He rubs your clit with the gun as he bites his lips and waits for your answer.
“Keep going, sir. I like it.”
Taeyong leans back down and kisses your clit. “Why not both?”
He places one finger into your throbbing pussy slowly circling it around. You whimper and arch your back as it feels good to have something finally inside you. He then places another finger inside to stretch you out. He slides them in and out easily while using his thumb to press onto your clit. His fingertips tap onto your g spot teasingly.
“Oh my god!” Your arch your back even more then massage your breasts. The sight of you below him like this makes him weak. Your skin sweaty and hair disheveled, your lips swollen and red from you biting them. You’ve been corrupted by him yet again.
“That’s it, sweetheart.” He removes his fingers and replaces them with his gun, carefully sliding it in and out as you adjust to the cold metal not inside you.
“Fuck.” Taeyong curses. Something about your pussy welcoming his gun makes him dizzy. The danger of it all is unbelievably hot to him.
“How does it feel?”
“It feels..strange, but good, sir, please keep going.” You prop yourself up on your elbows and  look down at the black object sliding easily into you. You let out a moan.
“So good, s-sir.” 
Taeyong pushes your legs further apart .
 You begin to ride it yourself, your eyes floating from the wet gun and to Taeyong’s veiny hands and muscular arms decorated by tattoos. His red hair is parted to the side but a strand fell into his forehead during all the action.
His lips are red and plump, just begging to be kissed by you.
Your velvety walls begin to clench as you move up and down onto the object faster. Taeyong watches your fucked out expression while you chase your high. Your breasts bounce fervently as you move your body faster. Endless whimpers leave your lips.
“Are you going to cum?” Taeyong leans back down over your opening and lifts up the skin above your clit.
“Yes—sir!”
He flattens his tongue against your clit then circles the tip of it around it.
He pushes his tongue in firmly, licking upwards at unpredictable paces ll while never letting your eyes contact go.
You throw your head back as your eyes roll in the back of your head. 
“I’m…Taeyong!” your body shakes, the knot in your stomach finally being relieved, you can’t finish your sentence. Taeyong’s tongue drives you crazy, you can’t think straight. Your body felt like it had been transported to another real mmt as his tongue still massages your clit.
You fall back into the couch, your movements stopping.
Taeyong takes his gun out and licks up your cum while closing his eyes and savoring the taste.
He places the gun beside him then leans down to kiss you so you can taste yourself.
“I love you...but I’ll just have to punish you for running away.” He kisses your forehead as your eyes open.
That itch for Taeyong had been satisfied, but now you had to deal with the consequences of your actions.
“I have something to show you.” He whispers while taking a strand of hair out of your face.
He takes you to the guest room where he has placed a large, wooden cross onto the wall.
At the ends are straps for one's arms and legs, your eyes grow.
“Taeyong…”
He takes your hand and brings you closer to the large cross while smiling. He turns to face you.
“Did you think I’d let you off this easy? Tsk tsk” Taeyong smirks. He quickly lifts you up and places your legs around his waist. He then lifts your arms up one by one and attaches them to the cross. He backs away and allows your naked body to dangle.
“Taeyong..please! I said I was sorry!”
“And this will prove to me that you truly are…I had trouble sleeping because I was so worried about you...now, I must return the favor.” He says as he brings both feet together and buckles your ankles to the cross as well.
He steps back and marvels at the beautiful sight of you on the cross.
He smiles. “Y/n...you’re my savior, you’re all that I need, you’re my religion, and I would do anything for you.”
“Taeyong..please, my arms hurt.” You cry out.
“Shhh don’t beg, my love.”
He turns and grabs the remote for the TV right across from you.
He presses the “on” button and you immediately see a video of Taeyong taking you from behind. 
“I’ve made a special movie for you..it will play our most special moments over and over tonight. This will ensure that you will never forget what it’s like to be with me again.”
“Taeyong, I never forgot about you..” you say softly in a final attempt to be let down.
“Then why did you stay away for so long?” Taeyong growls out, his eyes are wild, like he is holding back a deep anger.
Your mouth falls open into silence.
“My love..I hope you can appreciate this gift.” Taeyong then exits the room, leaving you alone with the bright and loud TV playing compilation videos of you and Taeyong having sex, along with disturbing videos of murders being carried out by his gang.
You cry silently and close your eyes tightly, but you can’t drown out the sound. Your arms and legs hurt from being strained for so long, you’re not sure how much more you can take after just an hour.
“Taeyong!” You call out but there’s no answer.
You stay suspended on the cross and cry throughout the entire night.
You struggled against the restraints from time to time, until you couldn’t even feel your arms. You closed your eyes tightly and looked up, down, to the side..anywhere but forward where the TV was. And somehow, you were able to close your eyes and fall asleep to the sound of your moans and Taeyongs deep voice in the video. But soon you were woken once again by a violent and disturbing video of torture or murder.
The next morning, Taeyong came into the room and untied you. He shut the TV off and carried your strained and numb body to the shower.
“Taeyong..” you whispered softly, your tired eyes opening slowly as you drifted in and out of consciousness.
“Yes, little mouse, I’m here..” He kissed your cheek, then trailed his soft, warm lips down your jaw and neck.
He helped you shower then took you to his bed.
He then covered your body with a blanket and sat on the edge of the bed beside you. He bed smelled like a field of flowers, the plush and bouncy pillow below your head felt especially heavenly.
“Did you do all those things to those people?” You mutter out with your eyes closed.
“Yes..they were bad people, they deserved their punishment, just like you deserved yours..”
Your eyes open wide.
“But lucky for you, you’ve begged for forgiveness and gained it from me.”
Taeyong gave you a small smile. “You should rest now.”
He was about to leave but you called out to him.
“Taeyong...do you trust me?”
The last thing you wanted was for Taeyong to do some digging to find out who you really spent time with during those two weeks. If he found out you were lying and found out about Jaehyun, that would be the last straw. He’d lose it. He would kill the both of you, and maybe your parents too.
You wanted reassurance that he would let it go once and for all, that you could move on and be like you were before.
Taeyong looked back at you and gave a questioning look as he raised an eyebrow.
But he didn’t say anything. He leaned down and placed his lips on yours. Your eyes closed and you finally found some strength in your arms and wrapped one around him, your fingers lightly scratching his back as his lips caressed yours.
His fingers press into your scalp while he listens to you moan.
“Should I trust you?” He says before kissing your neck.
You whimper as he presses his chest onto yours, his pelvis resting against you. You widen your legs a little, your breath leaving you as soon as you feel his hard member poke against the blanket.
He continues to kiss your lips, the way his tongue leaves gentle licks along your bottom lip and the way his hands move on your scalp puts you in a trance.
You reach down into his boxers and take his hard member into your hand, cupping it and moving it up and down slowly.
A groan leaves his lips and enters your mouth, you continue to stroke his member. 
He then kisses your neck. “Oh, little mouse, you’re too good and making me feel this way.” He growls and bucks into your hand.
You feel a growing moisture in between your legs.
“You should trust me..I’m yours.” You whisper against his ears as you rub the precum in his tip with your thumb.
“I want to feel you..please.”
Taeyong kisses your collarbone and sucks hard. “Say it.”
“Want to feel you inside me..” 
A whimper escapes your throat. You’re so pent up, you feel you might burst.
Taeyong lifts himself from you and throws the blanket beside you, revealing your naked body and drenched entrance.
“What do you want me to do?” Taeyong smirks, his forehead glistening with sweat. He removes your hand and replaces it with his own, positioning his cock right in front of your needy opening.
“Taeyong…” you gasp as you watch the toned figure above you and run your hand down his abs.
He nearly cums as he watches his name fall from your innocent lips. Your eyes widen and you lick your lips while your chest rises up and down rapidly.
He watches you stare at his cock as he pleasures it himself.
“Fuck me..”
Taeyong chuckles then rubs his tip in between your folds. You moan at the feeling of something finally against your throbbing hole.
He doesn’t waste any more time as he pushes into you, thrusting your body upwards against the bed.
“Yes..”
You feel every vein of his wonderful cock as he runs it against your silky walls. You clench without control and whimper as he pushes in harder.
“Are you going to cum so soon, little mouse?” Taeyong tilts his head as he watches your jaw tense. He holds onto your knees, pushing them further apart making you cry out.
Your legs wrap around his waist. Your hands shake and grip his back as if to hold onto your sanity.
He presses his thumb onto your clit. “Answer me, sweetheart.”
“Y-yes..”
Taeyong continues to move his thumb sensually in circles onto your body. He looks into your pure eyes.
Time moves in slow motion as your body trembles.
 You cry out his name one final time and dig your fingers into his back.
Taeyong cums soon after, groaning and releasing onto your breasts as they move up and down rapidly.
He treasures the sight of your entire body shining with sweat and now his cum on your beautiful chest.
He leans down and kisses your nipples before flattening his tongue onto each one slowly.
“Oh..Taeyong..” you moan and close your eyes, your hands running through his scalp.
You cum again a few minutes after. That day, you and Taeyong made love and love again on his bed, your bodies entangled with each other while you change positions. Your tongues never grew tired, your hands covered all areas of skin, your neck covered in love bites. and your bodies sunk into the cloud-like bed once it was all over.
But as you laid down beside Taeyong, you couldn’t help but think about how Taeyong never answered your question.
He never said if he trusted you.
————
[Three Days Later]
Taeyong dropped you off and picked you up from all of your classes. He didn’t let you see or speak to your parents. But they didn’t reach out to you either. You wondered why they gave up so easily, but then you remembered your father's words. He only wanted to protect himself and his money. It hurt knowing that he was this way all while being involved in illegal activities with Taeyong.
You finally realized that it was your father that caused the break in, you felt betrayed by the man you were raised by.
You started to question your faith, but you still visited the church and prayed. You prayed for your family’s health and safety, you prayed for Mark’s safe arrival in heaven and for your forgiveness. Each time you thought of him, you teared up.
You also prayed for Jaehyun’s safety. You hoped that you wouldn’t run into him on campus, for you knew that he would ask too many questions.
The fact that Taeyong could possibly have his guys watch you on campus to see who you interacted with made you nervous.
No one was safe around you until you gained Taeyong’s trust.
And when you asked for it, Taeyon would only give you a small smile and caress your cheek with his thumb. He’d say you were “cute” or start to kiss you.
But last night he said “soon..I will.”  
You weren’t sure what he meant by that but his words haunted you even as you walked to class.
You looked onto the sidewalk and gripped your backpack, you were about to cross the street at a stoplight when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
“Hey, stranger.” 
You turned to see a dimpled, brown haired boy.
Jaehyun. Oh no. 
You looked around nervously. “Jaehyun! Hey, how are you?”
He smiled widely. “I’m alright, how are you? How have you been doing?” He stepped towards you with a look of concern.
“I’m fine! I’m sorry about what happened, I-I blew things out of proportion.” You smiled back, but your eyes still looked anxious.
Jaehyun looked around, then looked back at you.
“What-who are you looking for?”
“Huh? I’m sorry, what?”
“You keep looking around like someone is watching you, is everything okay?” He whispered.
“Oh! Haha, yeah everything is fine, I was just looking for my friend, we’re supposed to walk to class together!”
“Oh, I see. Well, I’d love to study or even have dinner with you if you have time today..”
“I’d love to, but I already have plans…” you looked out across the street and pretended to wave to someone.
“Oh! She’s over there, I’d love to talk more, but I have to go, I’ll catch you l-“
You start to walk away, but Jaehyun takes your hand and tugs you back slightly.
He stares at your wrist. You hadn’t noticed that when you waved, your sleeve had fallen down slightly, revealing the subtle markings left from the straps Taeyong used to tie you to the cross a few nights ago.
Jaehyun’s eyes grew. “Y/n..what is this? Are you in trouble?”
You tugged your hand away and rubbed your wrist. “It-it’s nothing! I just had a, um, an allergic reaction to this bracelet my mom bought me!”
Jaehyun tilts his head. “Y/n..you can talk to me.”
“I’m fine, trust me..I’ll see you later, okay? I really have to go..” you spring away as Jaehyun opens his mouth to protest.
While in class, you struggle to focus on your studies. You thought about Taeyong, and how you could love someone that killed people. Those videos replayed throughout your mind, but so did the memories of Taeyong’s bright smile and laugh. You can’t push away the feelings you have when you look at him, falling into him every time as he magically makes you forget all that he’s done. Is this love? It felt like it, but something still felt wrong.
“Miss y/l/n...care to join us?”
Professor Li interrupted your thoughts.
You nodded. “I’m sorry, what was the question?”
“In 2 Samuel 11, David displeased the Lord by doing what?” The professor's deep voice echoed in the silent classroom of about 50 people.
Your mouth falls open. You hadn’t read that section and had no clue what the answer was. 
“I-I..”
He stepped closer to your desk with his book in hand. “Stuttering? No, David did not do that..”
He looks down on you intimidatingly. You sunk down into your chair as your face felt hot.
“Miss y/l/n, I don’t understand how you can take so much time away from class only to fall behind..you’ve had plenty of time at home to read, isn’t that right?”
“Y-yes, Professor.”
“Then why haven’t you read this? Do you expect knowledge and information to just jump into the tiny brain of yours? You have to read so you can absorb it all, make it bigger.”
“You’re right, I’m s-“
“Don’t apologize, just open the book and read the words, or do I need to send you back to English 101?”
A few snickers erupted in the class. Your vision became blurry as you teared up.
“No, professor, I will read it tonight.” Your voice barely above a whisper. 
“Did we all hear that class? Miss y/l/n has decided to actually do the readings for class, let’s give her a round of applause..” Everyone clapped for you and some students started to laugh out more as the professor rolled his eyes and walked back to the board.
You grabbed your backpack and quickly headed for the door when class ended.
“Miss y/l/n..I need you to stay after class for a few minutes..”
You sighed and stepped to the side to allow other students to leave his class.
Once the room was empty, the professor called you over to his desk.
“Are you okay?” The 50-something year old looked into your eyes over his glasses.
“I’m fine..” you played with your thumbs in front of your skirt.
“Do you have...personal.. stuff going on at home?”
“Yes..”
Professor Li was always jealous of your father. He hated how much power he had and made it known to you every time he had you in class, but today he really embarrassed you and you just wanted to run home and cry.
“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, I’m sure being the child of a pastor is no easy task…” he stands up and stretches.
“But remember to always have faith, to always believe in the good Lord, and to serve him well..”
You nodded. Of course you knew all of this, but why did he make you nervous with each step he took towards you?
“With that being said..I suggest you spend less time with these sinful boys and more time with your head in the books.”
“I’m sorry? I’m not following..” your brows furrow.
He chuckled and looked to the side as he stood in front of you and leaned back on the desk.
“Come on, y/n..these little skirts that you wear even during the winter time..the knee highs..where is your modesty?”
He eyed you up and down and even had the audacity to bite his lips as he stared at a loose button in your top.
You scoff. “Shouldn’t you be worried about your wandering eyes and sexualization of me?”
He stood up straight and looked onto you sternly. “What did you say to me?”
“I’ve done nothing for you to accuse me of ditching class to engage in sexual activities..” you firmly let out.
He laughs then grabs your waist, you jump and try to push him away but he pulls you onto him firmly.
“Let go! You creep!” You shove him away.
“Y/n..” 
That familiar voice echoed in the room.
The professor immediately lets go and looks frightened.
You turn to see Taeyong.
“Taeyong?” 
Taeyong doesn’t look at you, he glares at the man that touched you and walks over slowly.
“Hey, little mouse, I was worried about you..” he says coolly, but the look on his face is hauntingly unreadable. You feel your stomach grow sick as he gets closer, the crazy glint in his eyes becoming more and more visible.
He looks at you and takes your face in his hand. He wipes a tear that has fallen down your cheek with his thumb.
“I saw everyone leave class...except for you.” His eyes shift from your face and onto Professor Li’s.
The professor swallows hard, his skin crawling with unease as Taeyong’s aura is dark and nerve racking. He had no idea who this man was but the tattoos, red hair, and piercings told him enough.
“...why is that, professor?” 
“Miss y/l/n is falling behind on her studies, but now I see what, or rather, who she’s been preoccupied with..” the professor eyes Taeyong up and down and looks at him with disgust.
Taeyong smiles wickedly. “I’ll be sure to take care of what’s keeping her from succeeding, Professor..maybe you should take care of those...lingering hands..”
He turns to look up at the crucifix above the professor's desk.
“I'm sure the lord is not too happy about that move you just pulled.” He still has that crazy smile on his face as he takes your hand.
The professors mouth fell open.
“We should leave..” Taeyong did everything in his power to hold back his desire to bash this man’s head on the desk.
You both walked away, but not before the professor let out one final remark.
“Lust..It was a sin of lust that David committed.”
You continued walking as the professor let out a chuckle.
Taeyong drove you back to his place in silence.
“Are you upset with me?” You turn and ask him while in the passenger seat of his brand new sports car.
“No, of course not, I know it was out of your control.”
You didn’t know what to be more worried about. The fact that Taeyong waited only a few minutes for you to disappear from his sight before he searched for you, or the fact that he let your professor off so easily. It was unlike him.
“Will you hurt him?” You ask.
Taeyong hums for a moment and tilts his head. “Maybe..maybe not, what would you like me to do?”
“I-I don’t know, he was so mean to me..” you shocked yourself. Your immediate response should’ve been “don’t hurt him.” But instead, you actually contemplated whether or not he should receive some sort of punishment. Was Taeyong changing you?
“Well, little mouse, I’m sure everything will work out in the end...don’t worry about him, he’ll never place a finger on you again.” He turns to you, there’s a wild look in his eyes that you can’t describe.
You approach the apartment complex and Taeyong parks into a spot designated to him. You click open your seatbelt, but Taeyong holds your hand.
“Hey..” he calls out to you softly and looks down to your lips.
“Yes..” 
Taeyong is captivated by your eyes, deep and so round. 
He clicks his seatbelt open too and leans over to kiss you, turning his head as his warm tongue brushed against your bottom lip for entrance.
You close your eyes and deepen the kiss, your arms going up and around his neck to pull him closer. Your thighs tighten together as you feel a wet sensation building in between them. Taeyong has this effect on you, every time, he so easily turns you into a begging and needy mess.
Taeyong grips your thigh and pulls it away, leaving you subject to the cold air in the car.
You moan into his mouth as you feel his digits press onto your slit, gliding up and down slowly.
He chuckles. “Ahh such a good girl…” Taeyong kisses your neck as he pushes one finger in, your body shifting in the seat to get a better feeling of his wonderful fingers inside you. The image of Taeyongs veiny, tattooed arm disappearing into your skirt makes you moan with more volume.
“That’s it, little mouse, tell me how good your pussy feels..” He pushes another finger into you then rubs your bud with his thumb.
You bite your lips as his fingers pump in and out of you while pressing onto your sweet spot. But Taeyong taps against it teasingly, barely pressing into it.
“Harder...please.” You breathily exclaim.
“No..you have to tell me how good it feels..”
He says against your neck then bites it.
“Ahh!” You yelp. “It feels good, s-so good.”
He watches your mouth fall open through low eyes, your pussy becoming increasingly wet as he continues to explore your walls with his long fingers. 
He takes your hand and places it onto the tent in his pants. “Do you feel that?”
“Yes..” you bite your lips.
He bucks into your hand as you palm it. “Do you want it? Tell me badly you want it..” a smile falls onto his lips as he whispers against your jaw.
“I want it, Taeyong, I want you..fuck me please.” 
Your hips move on their on onto his hand, you can’t hold back any longer and clench just at the thought of Taeyong fucking you hard in his brand new car.
But Taeyong pulls his fingers out, a pop echoing in the car. He licks his fingers slowly and closes his eyes.
“As you wish, sweetheart.”
You whimper at the sudden emptiness.
“Take your panties off for me, but leave your pretty skirt on..”
You immediately drag your underwear down your legs and leave it on the floor, then turn to Taeyong and wait for his next instruction.
“Get in the back..” he demands and turns the dash cam on his windshield around to record the inside of the vehicle instead.
You go to open the door but Taeyong stops you.
“No, no...through here..crawl back there.”
He smirks as he taps the center console.
You crawl over it, your hands resting firmly against the back seat as your abs flex to bring the rest of your body to the back.
But Taeyong chuckles and wraps his arm under your stomach. He grips you tightly, holding you in place as you whimper.
“T-Taeyong?” You breathe heavily while in this weird position, your ass up and head down as your knees rest on the arm rest.
“Yes, little mouse, I just want to admire you from this angle for a moment.” You hear a low chuckle escape Taeyong. He flips up the frilly end of your skirt.
Your bare ass and dripping pussy is now on display for him and the camera.
He uses his other hand and swats your opening. Your legs become weak.
The high pitched noise you make makes Taeyong grow even more.
He slides his fingers in between your folds, coating them with your slick once again.
“I love your body, sweet girl, but your pussy is my favorite part..it’s so wet, I wish you could see it right now.” His deep, husky voice is laced with lust.
He spreads his index and middle finger to separate and expose your silky hole, but does so at an awfully slow pace. You moan and move against his fingers, hoping to gain more friction.
But Taeyong withdraws his fingers and slaps your ass.
“You’re being impatient, little mouse..”
“I’m-I’m sorry, please..I need you..” you beg.
Taeyong hums as he watches your essence run down your thighs and even to your pink knee highs.
Your arms begin to hurt from holding your body up.
Taeyong continues to play with your flower, pushing his fingers in and out while you’re at this new angle.
As you get closer, clenching around him as your legs tremble, he moves his fingers faster, creating a sinful sound with your body as your high pitched moans grow louder.
Taeyong takes his fingers out slowly just as you’re about to cum. He bites his lips as he watches your smooth skin become even more wet, essence running out of you like a flood.
He can’t take it anymore, he has to fuck you so he takes his arm from under you.
“You may go back now.”
He leaves the car and joins you in the backseat.
He immediately moves to the center of it and brings you over his waist.
You kneel over him and unbutton your shirt. Taeyongs eyes are glued to your dainty fingers revealing your chest to him.
“Taeyong… I want you so badly.” You moan out then lick your lips. 
He looks delectable under you, his ruby red hair pushed back and his eyes low.
He unbuckles his belt and pulls his aching member out.
“Do you want my cock, little mouse?”
He leans his head back onto the head rest while he watches you unhook your bra in the back.
“Y-yes”
“Then you should take it, right?” He looks down and taps his dick against your thigh.
You nod and kneel directly over his delicious cock. You lower yourself onto him slowly, your hands gripping his shoulders as you cry out from the satisfaction of him finally being inside, filling you up completely.
“Good girl..” Taeyong whispers. He leans back and watches you bounce on him, your breasts jumping and your eyes shutting tightly.
You swivel your hips as his cock slides in and out of you, grinding into your tight, plush pussy.
Taeyong runs his hands along your thighs, pushing your skirt up your stomach so he can finally see you take his cock and cover it in shining slick.
The car is filled with grunts and moans as you ride him, you finally find the perfect spot, his dick curves into you and presses against it.
“Oh!! Taeyong, I’m going to..” you throw your head back, the bundle of knots slowly start to unravel. You move even faster.
“Mmmm..yes, sweetheart, I know..” Taeyong says smoothly before gripping your waist with both hands and picking you up off of him.
“Taeyong! No..please!” You cry out, once again you are so close, only to be shunned away from your release.
He turns you around and lowers you back onto him. He slams into you as he brings a hand to your neck. He presses his thumb and fingers into the side of it as you whimper.
Your legs spread more as Taeyong’s dick curves into you at a different but still satisfactory angle.
He squeezes his hand around your throat and buried himself into you deeper, using your body more like a sex doll as the camera records.
He thinks about how fucked out you looked right now, your mouth open, practically drooling and your hair messy. Your hands grabbing at your breasts and playing with your nipples. He knows he’ll watch this video later and enjoy watching you lose your innocence in the back of his car, he’ll enjoy the sight of each whimper falling from your pretty mouth and your skirt riding up as you kneel over him in cute knee highs.
He then uses his other hand and rubs his fingertips into your clit. 
You gasp as your eyes open. You clench around him without control now.
His hips snap into you harder and his hand tightens around your neck. “I'm going to cum in you, sweetheart, going to fill you so well with my cum. Is that what you want?” He growls in your ear. He can just imagine how beautiful you’d looked with swollen breasts during a pregnancy, the glow of your skin and full cheeks as you carry his babies. Somehow, you’d be even prettier.
He draws circles into your clit even harder, your pussy becoming consumed by him as he combines it with his tip rubbing against your sweet spot with every push.
“Ahh! Taeyong!” You scream his name out. “Yes! Yes!”
“I’m going to push it so deep into your fertile pussy, breed you and make you mine forever, would you like that?”
“Yes! Yes, Taeyong, I want you” your head falls back over his shoulders releasing onto him as his dirty words echo in your mind.
Your body shakes as he releases into you as well, keeping his promise and cumming into your depths as he holds you fast against him.
His fingers push into your mouth. You close your eyes and suck them clean as your movement onto his cock slows.
He slides out of your opening a few more times, making sure that not one bit of his cum escapes you.
He kisses your neck. “You did so well, little mouse. I’m so happy you’re mine.”
———
[A Few Days Later]
You studied in the library with Jaehyun, focusing on your papers and last minute research before you went home—to Taeyong’s place to sleep. There was barely anyone on your floor in the library, so you figured no one could watch you and Jaehyun there.
Living with Taeyong was definitely different from living with your family, but you didn’t mind it. Taeyong usually stayed out late, but when he did come home, he’d cuddle you and make sure that you’re okay.
 You’d watch movies together and enjoy take out every now and then. Other than feeling like you were being watched 24/7, life with Taeyong wasn’t that bad.
“Do you need me to read over your paper?” Jaehyun leaned over to you. 
You look up from your laptop and stop typing.
“Hmmm that’s a good idea. Thank you! And I’ll read over yours.”
Jaehyun smiles as you switch laptops.
“Jaehyun? What is this?” You’re confused as you only see a blank page on his laptop.
“Oh, I’m sorry about that..just scroll down.”
He watches you scroll down the page.
But there’s only one sentence in the middle of it.
Y/n, will you see a movie with me after finals?
You smile widely and look up at him.
He blushes. “Keep scrolling.”
Pros of dating me: Hand holder Top tier hugs Tall Dimples Good cook Can and will make you laugh Cons of dating me: I might pass gas if I laugh too hard  None :)
You giggle after reading the last sentence. You wished so badly that you could date Jaehyun. He was caring, sweet, a devout Christian, and yes, unbelievably handsome. But the timing was bad. You loved Taeyong, you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.
And so, your smile faded as reality set in.
You clear your throat. “Jaehyun..I wish I could..you’re an amazing guy, but..”
“Was it the passing gas part?” Jaehyun’s brows furrow.
“No!” You chuckle. “No, it’s not that at all.its just..I’m seeing someone right now..”
“Oh.” He nods slowly, the corners of his mouth slowly fall and his dimples no longer show.
“I’m sorry, Jaehyun.”
He smiles brightly again. “It’s okay! I thought I’d ask, I really like spending time with you, but I completely understand..let’s focus on finals then.”
You nod.
—————
[The Next Day]
Taeyong picks you up from class, but doesn’t take you home.
“Where are we going?” You look at the side of Taeyong’s face, he looks especially striking with the light from the red stop sign on his face, his strong cheekbones peeking through. His eyes are intense, but your attention goes from his hands gripping the steering wheel to his biceps flexing as he turns the car, and from his thighs in his black skinny jeans then to his button down silk shirt with three loose buttons.
 You bite your lips as your mind runs wild with thoughts of him on you.
“We’re going to do something very fun tonight. Think of it as a...couple game! In the end, we’ll be closer than we’ve ever been.” Taeyong says excitedly.
“That sounds fun.” You smile. 
But you slowly came to the realization that this would be an interesting night as you approached a gloomy and daunting warehouse.
“Taeyong..what is this?” You ask as he puts the vehicle in park.
“Come on. You’ll understand once we get inside.”
It’s just the two of you inside the dark box. Taeyong pulls a chain that makes bright led lights turn on above you. When you look around you large cases  and tables all around. It didn’t feel like you were about to play a game there.
You hear a muffled scream and shuffling.
“What was that?” Your eyes grow as you recognize the sound of a man in distress.
“Ah..yes, our contestant..”
Taeyong takes your hand and leads you to the corner of the room.
“Contestant?”
You stumble behind him as he walks fast. 
You see a camera on a tripod, and as you get closer, you see that it is set a few feet in front of a man tied to a chair with a black bag over his face.
His body is completely tied to the chair with rope wrapping around his midsection and legs.
His hands are bound together on rest on his lap.
The man screeches as he hears the two of you step closer to him.
“Taeyong?! What have you done?” You turn to him and begin to panic. You prayed that it wasn’t Jaehyun.
“I have a surprise for you, little mouse.”
You always dreaded Taeyong’s surprises.
He goes behind the man and tears the bag off.
A breath leaves your body when you recognize the man, even with bruised eyes and a bloody, swollen lip. A rag is over his mouth to quiet him.
“Ta da! You didn’t think I’d let this bastard get away with what he did to you, right?”
Your mouth falls open. “Taeyong..no..I don’t want this.”
You watch Professor Li’s eyes widen once he recognizes you. He cries harder and louder, his shrieks so bone chilling, you cringe.
Taeyong laughs out. “Of course you do!”
He bends down and places his head into the crook of the professor’s shoulder.
“He treated yourself like shit, then touched you inappropriately...don’t you want him to suffer?”
Taeyong smiles wickedly.
“N-no..I..I don’t know.” Once again you found yourself questioning everything you had learned. Does everyone deserve forgiveness? 
“You do know, little mouse. That fury in your veins, that tingling in your body that makes you want to choke this bastard till he can no longer breathe...embrace it. Don’t hold back.”
You look away.
Taeyong begins to grow impatient. “He’s an asshole, what if he goes after another girl in his class? Don’t you wonder how many women he’s fucked just so he can give them a passing grade?”
You close your eyes tightly and feel tears fall on your cheek.
Taeyong stands up straight and walks over to you.
He cups your face.
“Little mouse, you always ask me if I trust you...if you do this for me, if you prove that you will kill anyone that touches you because they’re not me..then I will trust you.”
Your eyes open. You can’t explain this need to please Taeyong, but when you look into his mahogany eyes, you feel a fire start in your chest.
You nod slowly. “I—I want you to trust me, Taeyong, but I don’t know if I can do this.”
Taeyong smiles slyly. “I know you can’t, that’s why we’ll do it together.”
He takes your hand and leads you over to a table with all sorts of weapons laid out.
Professor Li squirms in his seat and cries out so hard, he begins to cough.
He begs for this to end, to be released. You think about Taeyong’s words. 
Taeyong picks up a large and intimidating hedge shears.
He hands it to you.
“I’m going to hold his dirty hands up, I want you to open and close this like they’re scissors. We are cutting the evil away from this world.” Taeyong smiles softly.
The professor is a tyrant and uses his status to lure girls in. He’s disgusting and the world would be a better place without him. You said this to yourself over and over, trying to convince yourself that what you’re about to do is justifiable.
You stand to one side of him while Taeyong stands across from you and on his other side.
The professor still tries to get out of the chair, but he’s bound so tightly, his efforts are in vain.
Taeyong grabs his elbows, straightening out his tied  arms up and in front of him. You open the trimmers and position them around his wrists.
Taeyong’s smile grows. “Just like that, sweetheart. Now, snip snip.”
You look at his trembling hands in front of you, ignoring his tears and snot nose as the memories of him gripping your waist and pulling him onto you flood in. You remembered the intense discomfort, the slight panic before Taeyong saved you. You knew you didn’t want anyone else to experience it.
You pressed the handles together and SHRING. 
His bound hands fly to the floor, blood splatters across your face as well as Taeyong’s.
Taeyong laughs loudly as the old man screams out in pain. Blood gushes from his exposed tendons and tissue. You nearly throw up at the sight and drop the shears.
You back away and look in horror as you finally see clearly what you have done.
“T-Taeyong..” you pant.
“You did so well, little mouse..” Taeyong steps towards you and holds your hands.
The professor passes out from blood loss,his head hangs low.
“I-I killed him?” You sob.
“Yes..you did, now he can’t hurt anyone else.”
“But Taeyong..I..” your hands shake. Taeyong pulls them to his face and kisses them.
“Shhhh...it’s okay, I trust you, all that matters is you and me now.”
You nod slowly. 
Taeyong pulls you closer to him. He holds your face in his hands and kisses you deeply. You’re both covered in blood, but it feels so good to hold each other.
Your heart rumbles and your eyes close, you enjoy the touch of Taeyongs heavenly fingers on the small of your back.
Taeyong is so turned on by you finally proving your loyalty to him. You killed someone even while looking like an innocent angel. It was beautiful, you are beautiful.
Taeyong is electrifying, each kiss sends sparks throughout your veins. The adrenaline still pumps through you as you collapse into him and groan. His lips taste like the sweetest cherry, but he smells like blackberries. 
You can’t take it anymore, you need him on you, rubbing his hands all over you as you make love. You pull your shirt over your head and look into his eyes.
“Fuck me..”
Taeyong smirks and rubs his bloody hands over your chest slowly, pushing your breasts together and pinching your nipples.
You moan out into the empty warehouse as he watches your smooth skin become nasty with blood. Your neck smeared with splattered markings.
Taeyong pushes you into the wall, spinning you around so his chest is on your back.
He gets on his knees and pulls your skirt down at a painfully slow rate.
“Taeyong..please.” You cry out as you step out of it.
He only gets out a low and husky laugh as he places his hands onto your butt cheeks and massages them.
He separates them carefully while staring at your essence dripping from your folds.
He licks his lips then licks onto the slit slowly.
You whimper and push your butt out to him more. He grabs your ankles and licks again, only this time, pushing the tip of his tongue in harder to brush it against your clit.
You yelp while grabbing your breasts and playing with your nipples.
“You’re so hot, sweetheart.”
Taeyong lays his tongue out flat again, going in deeper and flexing his tongue.
On instinct, you grind against his face, praying that he goes a little faster because you’re so close from his teasing, you could cry.
“Taeyong!! Please don’t stop!” You gasp and move faster.
He flips you around by placing his hands on your waist.
“Use me, little mouse.”
He sticks his tongue out then buries his face in between your legs once more, only this time, he maintains eye contact with you. His devilish eyes watching your shining, blood covered breasts and the way you bite your lips.
He moves slowly, but you grab his hair and grind down onto his mouth. He flexes his tongue and pushes it in as deep as possible.
“Ahh! Taeyong..fuck..” 
Hearing you curse is all he needs to hear, his boner straining and flinching against his tight jeans.
You move your hips faster and ride his face as he watches you above him, you can only feel that feeling in your stomach, that release that you’re so close to while looking into his low eyes.
Your clit brushes against his nose over and over, he hums to send vibrations through your core.
Your pussy clenches and your grip on his hair tightened, but Taeyong continues to explore every part of you with his tantalizing tongue.
“Taeyong..fuck..oh my god.” Your hips stop moving and your body weakens, but Taeyong quickly stands and takes your hand.
He takes you with him to the table and brushes off all of the weapons that were on it before.
He presses you down onto the table with his chest on your back again then zips his pants and lets his cock loose. He doesn’t give you time to adjust as he slides his needy cock into your soaking flower.
He brings your ass to his hips and groans. 
“Ahhh..my nasty girl.” His hoarse voice enters your ear.
He snaps into you harder, lewd sounds of his cock gliding into your wet pussy fill the room.
He presses his hand into the small of your back. 
You whimper. “Harder, Taeyong..” 
“Oh? Greedy, now aren’t we?” 
Taeyong brings your ass back onto him so hard, you feel the breath leave your body. You cry out his name as he does it again.
His cock fills you up perfectly, grinding against your velvety walls even as they tremble.
Taeyong pulls out then flips you over.
He wants to see just how well you take him because it just feels so good.
He groans as you spread your legs across the table for him to see your drenched pussy aching for him.
You run your hands down your body and lick your lips. “Please..Taeyong...I’m so wet for you..”
Taeyong holds you by the crook of your knees and pushes into you again, watching as your right opening somehow molds itself around his cock, coating it in your delicious juices.
You bite your lips to hold back a moan while you watch Taeyong bury himself into you. He would’ve sucked your gorgeous tits like he always does but this time he just wants to watch himself fuck into you, he wants to see you become filled with nothing but him.
He grips your legs hard and moves faster, his movement blurring as he chases after his high.
The added stimulation of his new speed makes you clench uncontrollably. You throw your head back and welcome another orgasm just as Taeyong welcomes his. This time, he doesn’t pull out, he thrusts into you one final time and coats your walls with strings of cum.
Your groans and moans mesh with each other and fill the room.
Taeyong pulls out of you and taps his cock against your clit. You moan and flinch at the overwhelming stimulation.
He leans down and kisses your lips as he teases your sensitive opening.
You whine and move your hips against his cock. It is only somewhat limp and even though you’ve just cum, you still want more.
You press onto his chest lightly to stop the kiss. You look into his eyes.
He chuckles. “What? Do you still want more?”
“Yes..” you bite your lips and look at him with wide, innocent eyes, making his heart shutter.
He sits on a chair adjacent to the table and right beside the professor’s dead body.
“Come here, little mouse.” He pats his lap. 
You lower yourself onto him and slowly rock back and forth until you feel him grow inside you.
Ecstasy floods throughout your bodies all night as you make love. You pay no attention to the dead man in the room or your bodies covered in blood. 
You even forgot about the camera with the beeping red light.
————
[Two Days Later]
Taeyong had just dropped you off at class when he decided to sneak into your parents house. He knew your father would be home and in his office and he also knew that with some bribing, his security guards would easily let him in without notifying him.
Your father plopped himself into his seat, placing his glass of whiskey beside his notepad on the desk, never realizing the figure in the corner of the room.
Taeyong watches as your father opened up his laptop to see nothing but a black screen.
“What the-“ he mumbles and looks over his glasses onto his keyboard. “God damn technology..”
Taeyong clicks the small clicker in his hand to play the video on your father's laptop.
You father squints and looks closely He jumps once the video starts playing.
‘Just like that sweetheart, now snip snip’
He recognizes the voice in the video.
His eyes enlarge.
“What in the-“ 
He tries to pause the video but he can’t, only Taeyong has control.
“Oh..God.” He sits back in his chair when he sees you. his beloved daughter, cute the hands off of a man.
He continues watching as his eyes brim with tears.
He sees the man pass out then you tearing your shirt off. He turns away from the screen and sobs.
“My daughter...my poor daughter.”
“You should be proud of her..”
Taeyong steps out from the corner.
Your father jumps in his seat and grabs his letter opener. “Who’s there?”
“It’s your son-in-law, I knew you’d be thrilled to see me.”
Your father sits back in his chair and looks at Taeyong through eyes of pure hatred.
“what have you done to her?”
“I’ve only allowed her to be her true self. You should be so worried.” Taeyong sits down across from him.
“Yeah..she killed someone, but hey, if you knew the guy, you’d probably kill him too.” He shrugs.
“I will bring you down, Taeyong. And I’ll get my daughter back. You have turned her into a monster like you!”
Taeyong shakes his head. “Oh, you fool, don’t you see that’s why I’m here? To let you know that that can’t and will never happen. Why? Well, if I go down, your daughter goes down too.”
Your father brows furrow.
“Who yielded the weapon, pastor?”
He stays silent and grits his teeth
“Oh, but here’s a better question, where IS the weapon?”
Your father sighs. “I hope you endure nothing but pain and suffering when she finally leaves you!” He grumbles out.
“Ah, is it buried somewhere on this 32 acre land you’ve got here?” Taeyong places a finger or his chin and begins to laugh.
“Ah, yes that’s right, it’s buried here somewhere, in the lawn of the man that knew about the crime because he just watched the video. Was the killer’s father the one that hid it to protect her? Oh no!” Taeyong fakes surprise. 
“Do You follow me? It’s a chain reaction, father. I go down, your baby goes down, then you go down as an accessory to the crime.”
Taeyong stands up and brushes his jacket off. “It’s a pity that whatever you and that detective has planned for me will never work. That pathetic attempt you made at getting me locked up for life showed me everything I need to see, and now, I won’t hold back…”
He leans forward and places both hands on the desk. “I am the grim reaper, after all.”
“Fuck you, you can’t threaten me!”
Taeyong laughs and leaves the room.
———-
[A Week Later] 
With finals over you rarely saw your friends, you didn’t even message Jaehyun because you suspected that your messages were being tracked.
You couldn’t take the risk.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, grew worried for you. He asked your friends but no one claimed they had seen or even spoke to you. Just like him, they always got your voicemail when they called.
He went to your father and begged to see you, but that’s when he learned that you no longer stayed there.
When he asked where you were, your father hesitantly told him about Taeyong’s apartment complex because he wouldn’t stop pushing.
He warned him and even told him that Taeyong was a gang leader, but Jaehyun wouldn’t listen. He wanted to save you. The marks on your wrist made him worried and he knew you needed help before it was too late.
He went to the complex and snuck around, hoping not to be seen by anyone. He waited in his car to see if you’d leave at some point. Once he spotted you, he would call out to you and have you jump in his car. He’d speed off with you to get away from this place.
The upper-class and bougie complex was really quiet. It didn’t seem like many people lived there, but there was an eerie aura that Jaehyun couldn’t ignore.
He waited all night for you in his car, but never saw you. He didn’t see anything to be exact. Well, not until a red-haired man and several other guys in black left. They drove off on their motorcycles with the red haired guy leading in front.
Jaehyun quickly unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out of his car he snuck in through a door that hadn’t been shut all the way. He got onto the elevator and took it to the top floor where Taeyong’s supposed penthouse was.
Once he got to the door with the apartment number, he rang the doorbell and looked around nervously.
You looked at the screen that showed you a real-time video of your doorstep and nearly screamed when you saw Jaehyun. You quickly opened the door.
“Jaehyun! You can’t be here! You have to leave!”
You shook your head.
“I just wanted to know if you were okay! I haven’t heard from you in days-“
“Yes! Yes I’m fine but you have to leave!”
“No, you’re not fine. You’ve been kidnapped by a gang leader. Come with me and we’ll go far away! You’ll be safe.”
You gave him a look of confusion. “What? I don’t need to be saved, Jaehyun. I like it here, and I haven’t been kidnapped, who told you that?”
“I don’t need anyone to tell me, y/n! The fact that you’ve been locked up here all night and have your phones turned off tells me that he’s controlling you! He’s taken over your life and you need to get out from under his grasp.” Jaehyun’s eyes search yours, quietly pleading for you to take his hand and run away with him.
“Jaehyun...you have no idea what you’re talking about…” you sigh. “We love each other, okay?”
“But y/n..”
“Just leave! I don’t want to be with you!” You shut your eyes tightly. Jaehyun has been so kind to you, but you felt conflicted with his words. Was he just a product of your old life that you needed to leave behind? Or did he have a point?
He steps back and nods.
“I’m..I’m sorry”
“Jaehyun..” you start to apologize but he walks away swiftly, holding his head low.
You shut the door and lean against it as his words played in your mind.
Jaehyun turned the corner and was about to head for the elevator when he saw another man walking towards it. The man dressed in all black like the other men he saw downstairs. Jaehyun holds his head down and takes the stairs instead.
Jaehyun jogs down the stairs, and about 7 flights down, he bumps into a group of intimidating men.
They smoke cigarettes in between their tattooed fingers and all turn to him.
“Uh..excuse me..”
Jaehyun moves through a small space created for him to pass through, but his heart races. These men looked like gang members, he wondered if he could get out without being noticed.
He runs down the stairs even faster, he gets to the bottom floor, turning the corner to leave. He’s met with the tall man with a broad chest. He collides into him full speed, but the man doesn’t budge. Jaehyun falls back.
“Jaehyun...leaving so soon?” The man says lowly.
Jaehyun looks up slowly, then attempts to bolt in the other direction, but the man wraps his arms around him and pulls him back. He places a towel coated in chloroform over his mouth.
Jaehyun’s vision becomes blurry, he eventually passes out and stops struggling against the man.
————
[The Next Night]
You lay your head on Taeyong’s lap while you watch a movie together. Your mind is preoccupied, however, you think about what Jaehyun said. Was Taeyong too controlling?
“What are you thinking about?” His deep voice lets out.
“Nothing..”
“I trust you to be honest with me, little mouse.” Taeyong massages your scalp.
“Of course…” you answer softly and close your eyes, his long fingers feel good.
“So tell me..who is Jaehyun?” 
Your eyes open and you pick yourself up from his lap.
He grips your chin inbetween his thumb and index finger. “I’ll give you one chance to answer me honestly.”
“He-He’s just a friend..we had a class together and studied together sometimes..” you try to play it off coolly but deep down you panic. How did Taeyong know about him?
“So why did I find this on his dresser?”
Taeyong reaches beside him and dangles your gold cross necklace in your face. You forgot that you had left it at his place.
“I-I must’ve lost it in class.”
“That’s not what Jaehyun says..” Taeyong’s eyes grow angry, he gritts his teeth as he lets your chin go.
“J-Jaehyun? Where is he?” 
“Is this who you ran off to? Is this your “cousin?”
Taeyong stands up from the couch.
“No! No, Taeyong, please believe me. I didn’t stay with him!”
“But he says you did, and I found your necklace earlier today, so are you lying to me?!” 
Your mouth is agape, you weren’t sure what to say, do you tell Taeyong the truth or lie again? Either way he’d be upset.
He huffs. “I can’t believe this..” he pulls out his phone and dials someone up.
“Bring him in!” 
“Okay. Yes I stayed with him, but we didn’t do anything! He was just helping me! I swear!” You cry uncontrollably.
The door clicks open and someone throws Jaehyun inside. His throat is red and bruised with what looks to be a chain pattern.
His hands are tied but he yells as he falls on the floor in the center of the room.
“Do you love him?” Taeyong tilts his head and watches your face, waiting for any slight indication that you are attached to him.
“N-no I dont, I promise he means nothing to me, just let him go!”
You sob.
Jaehyun looks hurt by your words but says nothing, he looks up at Taeyong.
“He means nothing to you? So if I kill him, will it hurt you, make you sad?” Taeyong pouts.
“Taeyong! Please don’t do this again.” You reach out to him, but he steps back.
“Why are you crying so much if you don’t love him?” 
You don’t have an answer.
Taeyong is disappointed, he trusted you, he thought you only loved him, but your actions told him otherwise.
“He’s very pretty, I can see why you fucked him..”
“No! I didn’t, we never-“ you start.
“She’s telling the truth. We never did anything because she only thought about you.” Jaehyun finally lets out.
Taeyong nods. “That’s nice to hear, but I don’t like that you are pretty, Jaehyun. I’ll let you live, but I think we should rough you up a little..”
Taeyong looks up at Johnny and nods. Johnny and Jungwoo each take Jaehyun’s arm and hoist him up. They hold him still as Taeyong flicks his Swedish blade open.
“You came here for her, didn’t you?”
Jaehyun grunts, he breathes heavily through his nostrils.
“Well, I’m going to give you something that will remind you of me every day..when you look in the mirror, you’ll remember how badly you fucked up.”
Taeyong smiles.
“Taeyong, please!” You beg one final time c but he ignored you.
“Y/n, it’s okay, I should’ve listened to you from the first time you said no. I shouldn’t have come here, this isn’t your fault!” Jaehyun cries out.
Taeyong places the sharp blade into Jaehyuns forehead. Jaehyun’s screams make you cover your ears.
Taeyong’s wild eyes watch the sharp tip ruin the beautiful, soft skin of his forehead. Blood gushes out and runs all over Jaehyun’s face as Taeyong carves an X into it.
“No!!!” Jaehyun pulls and tries time and time to move his head but the three men on him keep him still.
“Oh God! Taeyong!” You can’t help but sob heavily. You couldn’t believe this was happening again.
Taeyong throws the blade to the side and smiles as he adores his artwork.
The men let go of Jaehyun and let him fall to the floor.
You crawl to him and hold his face in your hands. Taeyong’s smile drops. You couldn’t possibly be touching and comforting another man.
“And so the truth comes out…” he growls.
“Jaehyun, I am so sorry.” You wipe tears from his eyes and hold him as he cries. Your hands shake as you look at the deep carving inflicted by Taeyong.
“It's okay, it’s not your fault.” Jaehyun’s voice is raspy and hoarse after all his screaming.
“Little mouse...if you wish to leave me...then go, just leave. I can’t take this heartbreak anymore. You’ve lied to me too many times.”
Taeyong sits down on the couch. He sighs and looks away.
“I’m sorry, Taeyong, but I really can’t do this anymore. You hurt anyone that gets close to me..”
“Because I love you..but I guess you do not love me too. I expect loyalty from you at the very least.”
“Taeyong, I-“
“Get out of my sight!” His voice raises. 
You look at Taeyong then back at Jaehyun, he needed to get to a hospital immediately.
You quickly stood up and helped Jaehyun.
“I’m sorry..” you say one final time before taking Jaehyun’s hand and running out the apartment. You felt an uncertainty and a rush as you ran down the stairs. You were free from Taeyong but a part of you didn’t want that.
You pushed the exit door open. Jaehyun pointed out his car. “Over there.” 
You grabbed his key from his hoodie pocket and helped him into his car. He was drifting in and out of consciousness so you would have to drive.
Meanwhile, Johnny watches from the window.
Taeyong stares at the floor while feeling heartbreak and disappointment.
“They’re about to leave, Taeyong, should we proceed?”
Taeyong sighs and thinks for a moment. Should he let you go and move on? Could he be without you forever?
No.
“’X’ marks the spot..” he says and a clicking sound echos into the apartment as a bullet is loaded into the barrel of Johnny’s sniper gun.
You help Jaehyun into the passenger seat and begin to walk around to the driver's side, but a sharp sound rings out into the night then a crash follows.
A bullet flies into the windshield and hits Jaehyun, causing his head to explode into a million pieces in the car. His brains and blood splatter all windows of the car.
Your mouth falls open, your eyes water, you become dizzy. The only thing you can do is stumble and walk backwards and away from the car.
No no no no, this can’t be happening.
You fall to your knees and let out a loud wail into the night as Taeyong heads for the elevator.
Your head falls into your hands as you sob. Another innocent person is killed..because of you.
You feel Taeyong’s cold fingers grip your shoulder. Your face still in your hands while you cry uncontrollably. He’s done it again.
“I told you I’d never let you go, little mouse. You can run and hide, but you’ll always fall into my trap.”
And It’s then that you realize, you truly are stuck with Taeyong—forever.
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wanderinginksplot · 3 years
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Hiya, I was wondering if I could please request 3 (Echo) with B+O (Injury/sickness recovery + first kiss)? I don’t really mind who’s in recovery or whether it’s 501st echo/bad batch echo, I just thought these prompts would lead nicely into a confession between our two main characters; also I just want to say I love your writing!! ❤️
Aww, thank you so much for the request and for being so kind, Anon! Sorry this took forever, but I’ve been stuck in an idea block for a week or two, and I ended up writing about four different versions of this. You’re very sweet, but you probably shouldn’t be nice to me, because apparently, it makes me write one-shots that are way too long. So here’s a 2700 word one-shot...
Also! It ended up being a tad spicy toward the end. Nothing anywhere close to M-rating, but more than I usually write in one-shots.
Echo + Injury/Sickness Recovery + First Kiss
The first time you met Echo, you didn't like him very much.
You were in the medbay for a sickness that was taking Coruscant by storm, hitting nat-born GAR members especially hard. As a nat-born intelligence officer, you had been ordered to the GAR's main medbay, which had been sub-divided into large bays full of cots. Almost every cot was filled with GAR personnel who needed treatment for the same sickness.
It wouldn't have been bad if you had been able to take the meds right away and start the healing process, but you had been on a dangerous mission and fought the sickness off for longer than you should have. It had worked and you had survived your mission, but you were severely dehydrated. The medics - all clone troopers, by that point - had ordered you to stay until you were fully healed and they could get your fluid levels back where they should have been. Faced with no other options, you had agreed.
And then the 501st had arrived. 
Through your IV, you had gotten through half a bag of a liquid you preferred not to think too hard about. The medics promised that your meds would be kicking in soon, and you would feel much better before the day was over. For the moment, you felt nauseated and every part of your body ached, especially your head.
When the troopers came in, their white armor painted with blue accents in various styles, they were so loud that the rest of the medbay went quiet. 
One of the medics, his hair shaved short to show off a set of intricate tattoos, hurried up to them as he pulled off his gloves. You could hear his hissed question from your bed on the other side of the large room. "What are you idiots doing here?"
One of the men beamed at him. "We're in trouble!"
You scoffed to yourself. You had no difficulty believing they had gotten on someone's bad side. 
The tattooed medic rubbed his temples. "Hardcase… what did you guys do now?"
You had heard stories about the rowdy 501st from other operatives. They were supposed to be a nightmare to work alongside, all explosions and heroics without any grasp of subtlety. 
One of the other men stepped forward and seemed to be offering an explanation, but he did it in a voice pitched low enough that you couldn't hear him. You were grateful for that, and did your best to fall asleep.
It wasn't to be, however, as one of the 501st made his way down the row of beds in your direction. He chatted with some of the other patients, laughing loudly at their responses. By the time he reached you, you could have cheerfully put a blaster to the 5 tattooed on his temple.
"And how are you doing today?" the trooper belted out. 
"In a lot of pain, actually," you snapped at him, a visceral response to the effect his voice had on your roiling stomach. "Can you please talk more quietly?"
There. A please. You were being polite.
"If I'm quiet, does that mean I can stay over here with you, pretty lady?" he asked with a wink, settling onto the foot of your bed.
You eyed him stonily. You felt revolting from the effects of the sickness, and you were wearing a GAR-issued medical gown besides. ‘Pretty’ was an attempt at flattery, and not even a believable one.
"Fives," the medic with the head tattoos admonished, stepping up to your bedside as well. "Stop. She doesn't feel well and she doesn't need you hanging around, making it worse."
"Me?" Fives asked, sounding both shocked and offended. "We both know I only make things better, Kix."
You sighed and wished with your whole soul that they would both go away. You just wanted to sleep.
"Besides," Fives continued, "We were ordered to help in the medbay. You wouldn't want me to disobey orders, would you?"
From the look on Kix's face, he had lined up a scathing retort that you were dying to hear, but you needed to make a brief announcement. "If this conversation continues right here, I am going to vomit."
You had never seen two grown men move so quickly. You would have smiled if you didn't feel so rotten. 
"Echo," Kix called softly with a worried glance in your direction, beckoning yet another trooper over.
This one had no tattoos, but you vaguely recognized him as the only trooper you hadn't been able to overhear earlier.
"Get Fives away from here," Kix ordered. "Keep him productive and occupied, but don't let him talk."
Echo nodded and gave you an apologetic nod. "I'm sorry about him," he said, indicating Fives, who looked deeply offended.
"Please," was the only response you could muster, cradling your head delicately in your hands. From the bit of your peripheral vision that wasn’t blocked by your palms, you watched his shoulders slump slightly as he towed his brother away. When you finally fell asleep, your dreams were full of Echo’s disappointed face along with strong feelings of guilt.
The second time you met him was only a few hours later. You were having fever dreams. The medication had apparently worn off and no one had noticed. In your dreams, you had called a medic over a dozen times, but you always woke to find that you hadn’t said a thing, and fell asleep again before you could.
It was one of these shallow, fitful dreams that Echo interrupted. “Hey. Hey! Shhh, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up.”
Thoroughly confused by the world of the surrounding medbay, you squinted up at him. “Echo?” He nodded and you launched right into the speech you had prepared in your sleep. “I’m sorry I was rude earlier. I just… my head hurt, and you guys are loud, and-”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Echo assured you, crouching by your bedside to put himself on your level. “The 501st - and Fives in particular - is very loud. It’s our best quality.”
You snorted at that and Echo’s kind face broke into a warm smile. “You should get back to sleep. It’s really late. Or early. I’m not sure which, but everyone else is asleep, and you should be, too.”
“I think I need some meds, actually,” you admitted. “I feel like death.”
Echo frowned and reached up to brush his fingers over your forehead, flinching back almost immediately. “Kriff, you’re burning up! Hang on, let me grab a medic for you.”
You nodded, but grabbed his wrist before he could leave, “If you bring me some water, I’ll love you forever.”
It was just a childish hyperbole, something you and your family had said whenever you had asked for a favor, particularly a minor one. Echo didn’t seem to have the same connection with it, based on the way he had frozen in place and was staring at you with wide eyes that flashed between your face and your grip on his wrist.
Clearing your throat, you released him and corrected yourself. “I mean, please? I’m very thirsty.”
Echo turned around a moment later and you sighed, hoping your hot face looked like the flush of a fever.
You were half-drowsing when Echo came back with Kix in tow. You jumped a bit when Kix said your name, and Echo was quick to soothe you. “Easy, easy. It’s just us.”
He handed you the biggest glass of water you had ever seen and retreated halfway across the medbay before you had chugged half of it.
The next day, you were actually feeling better. Granted, ‘better’ was a relative term, but you didn’t actively want to die any more, and that was something. The only thing messing up your day was the lingering awkwardness between you and Echo. Every time his circuit around the room took him past your cot, he would avoid your eyes. 
From your calculations, he looped around the gigantic medbay room every six minutes or so. On his next lap past, you softly asked, “Echo?”
You had meant to be subtle and quiet, but you were still a bit less hydrated than you should have been, and it came out as a horrifying croak. If someone had called your name in that voice, you would have immediately run away, but Echo just turned slightly and looked your direction.
“I’m sorry for last night,” you apologized.
“You already said that,” Echo reminded you gently. “The 501st is loud. I understand why you weren’t happy with us.”
“Not about that,” you forced out, half-wishing you could just let him think you had been delirious with fever and thus not responsible for anything you had said or done. “I mean that I’m sorry for saying the whole love you forever thing. It was a joke, but I feel like it landed poorly.”
“There’s no need, really,” Echo told you. He smiled then, a small sad smile. “We clones don’t get to see much good in the universe. Not with this war going on. Even though you were joking, it was nice to hear something like that.”
You stared at him, trying to keep the poker face the GAR had hired you for.
“Besides,” Echo said with a laugh, “if you want to see how a bad joke really sounds, hang out with Fives for a few minutes. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to see the difference!”
You chuckled at that and the smile he gave lit his whole face as he continued his patrol. You watched Echo leave, thinking hard. It was ironic that this was the conversation where your heart had melted just a touch. It wasn’t love, not yet, but this third exchange left feelings that were inappropriate considering that you had known him for less than a day.
That night, you couldn’t sleep, betrayed by all of the napping you had done during the day. Echo was patrolling the room again and noticed you on his fourth lap.
He crouched by your bedside once again. “Can’t sleep?”
“Nope,” you admitted with a sigh. “Can you?”
Echo frowned. “I can, but I’m on watch right now.”
“On watch,” you repeated skeptically. “For what?”
“Someone has to make sure the patients are doing okay while the medics sleep,” he explained. “It’s a very important job.”
“Your brothers are all playing sabacc in the corner,” you pointed out. “Go join them. Or, better yet, get some sleep. I haven’t seen you take a break yet.”
“You were unconscious for over half of the day,” Echo reminded you. “I could have been on break then.”
“You weren’t,” you told him confidently. “Because you wouldn’t have known that I slept the whole time.”
Echo frowned. “You’re too smart to work for the army.”
“Intelligence officer,” you explained simply. 
Lifting his eyebrows in exaggerated shock, Echo leapt to his feet and gave a dramatic salute. You pretended to aim a kick in his direction and you both dissolved into muffled giggles in an attempt not to wake any of the other patients.
“If you won’t try to sleep, at least sit down?” you requested, indicating the foot of your cot as you struggled to sit up so you could move out of his way. “You’re stressing me out. I can’t be expected to get better if I’m stressed.”
“We can’t have that,” Echo teased. He helped you sit up before he did anything else, but the awkwardness of the position left him hauling you up by your armpits. You were thankful that you had found the strength to walk to the sonic shower that day, at least. “Not like I can get sick from you, anyway.”
Echo sat talking with you for hours, even after his brothers had all drifted off at their sabacc table. Before you fell asleep again, he brought you another giant glass of water. You accepted it with a smile. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”
He nodded and left so you could get some sleep. By the time you had finished the glass, he was on the other side of the medbay and couldn’t hear you mutter, “Love you forever.”
For the next few days, Echo lived by your bedside. The conversations you had made you laugh so hard that you went into the occasional coughing fit and got the evil eye from Kix. So, you were less pleased than you had expected to be when Kix told you that you could be discharged the following day.
That night, you couldn’t sleep. Getting your sleep pattern back under control was going to be the biggest struggle, you reflected, staring at the massive beams supporting the ceiling.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” Echo teased, walking up. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
You waved a hand around dramatically. “I’m trying to commit these beautiful surroundings to memory. If I’m leaving tomorrow, I’ll need to remember the enchanting way the dust clings to that wall over there.”
Suddenly serious, Echo asked, “You’re leaving tomorrow?”
You nodded, and couldn’t tell if it was your imagination, or if he really looked disappointed. Still, he mustered a smile. “I’m glad.”
With a falsely offended gasp, you replied, “You’re glad I’m leaving? That’s rude!”
“No, I mean-!” Echo sputtered, grimacing at you when you started to laugh. “I’m glad you’re getting better. Even if you’re just as mean as the day I met you.”
“Yeah, I’m terrible,” you agreed with a grin. 
“You are not,” he countered immediately. “You’re sweet and funny and- I’ll miss you. Selfish, huh?”
“I’ll miss you, too,” you admitted. “I guess we’re both selfish. But, hey, you’ll finally get some sleep now!”
“I suppose I will,” Echo said with the ghost of his usual smile. “At least we can have one last overnight conversation. Unless you’re too tired?”
You rolled your eyes at him. “Sit down, Echo.”
The two of you talked for hours that night. The medbay steadily got more silent and your eyes began to ache. Try as you might, you were still recovering from your illness and the point came when you couldn’t fight it off any longer. You fell into a light doze as Echo was talking.
You were dimly aware as he finished his sentence and waited for a response, but you couldn’t make yourself say anything. Echo gave an amused sounding hum and stood from your cot. You immediately missed his warmth, but felt like he was still standing by you.
Soft lips pressed against your forehead and left as Echo started to move away. “What was that cop-out bantha dung?” you asked blearily. 
Echo jumped a bit and stared down at you, but you were half-asleep, impulsive, and you knew what you wanted. You sat up to grab his shoulders and brought him back down to you, kissing him with as much fervor as an extremely tired person could muster.
He kissed you back, opening his mouth to release an almost-soundless groan, and you were suddenly wide awake. With both of you actively participating in your embrace, it didn’t take long for the pair of you to get carried away. 
When you finally broke apart, it was only because someone had cleared their throat sharply. 
Echo pulled back, bracing on his forearms to look up at Kix while you peered at the medic from under Echo’s chest. When had he gotten on top of you? His hip brushed against your upper thigh and you abruptly didn’t care anymore.
“I take it you’re well enough to be released from here?” Kix asked, a raised brow accentuating his smirk. 
You glanced around to find that half of the medbay was awake and staring at you and Echo with expressions ranging from bleary bewilderment to amused approval. Some of Echo’s brothers were awake as well, though their faces ran heavily to outright shock.
“Uh, yeah. I’m ready to go home,” you agreed, glancing up at Echo. “Wanna come with me?”
Echo nodded and glanced up at Kix. The medic shrugged and looked at the ceiling. “No, I have no idea where Echo went. He worked several around the chrono shifts and then he disappeared. I assume he went to get some well-deserved rest. Sign here.”
The last part was directed at you and you obligingly scrawled your name on the datapad he was holding out in your direction. 
“Your personal effects are in the front room,” Kix informed you. “Drink some water now and then, would you?”
“Of course, thanks,” you said absently, attention already stolen away by the fascinating blush creeping up Echo’s cheeks. You slipped out from under him and grabbed his hand to tow him behind you. “C’mon. You’re gonna love my apartment.”
---
A/N - ahh, why did this end up being such a novel? Sorry about that! If you want to read similar works, check out my masterlist or make a request based on this post (or make something up and I’ll do my best!). Thanks for reading!
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Invisible String | Werewolf AU | Raul Mendes
Raul is a werewolf and his mate turned out not only to be human, but his best friend's little sister. And as much as he tried, he could not ignore that invisible string tying her to him.
Hello hello! This is a bit of an experimental thing and I'm really excited about it, I've always been highly interested in everything about alternative universe and fantasy in general, and ever since I received the first ask to write a werewolf piece I've been wanting to do it but also a bit nervous. So hopefully this meets your expectations and you guys like it! Let me know if this was any good and if you guys would like to see something else like this! 
*Word Count: 8K+;
*Warnings: a few curse words, a little angsty (i guess), minor drinking;
*Posted: March 28th, 2021.
                                               -*-
Raul felt like life liked playing sick little tricks on him.
Like the fact that werewolves had a very strict hierarchy and normally it worked nicely. The Alphas are the ones in charge and responsible for keeping the pack safe and in order. Betas normally were kind of the strength of the pack, trained to listen and do whatever the pack needed and physically skilled to fight off anyone. And the Omegas were the glue to all of it, the sweet and naturally more caring ones, and it was an ancient thing that was followed to this day. Until Raul and his twin brothers were all born Alphas. It was hard informing the pack that they’re all going to be the Alphas of their pack. And since normally it was only allowed one wolf to claim that position, it was harder to make older ones respect their decision and actually accept, but at the end of the day, they didn’t have much of a choice. The Alpha genes ran in the Mendes family for generations and thankfully their dynamic was actually great and the triplets formed a great group of wolves. 
And that was just an example of the things Raul blames on fate or whatever for making his like a bit more difficult. But maybe the hardest one was having mated with not only a human, but his Beta’s younger sister. His best friend’s and right hand’s sister, one of the only girls that was off limits had to be his mate. 
And it wasn’t even his choice. Mating is a common thing between werewolves and other creatures, often seen as a blessing, a reason to celebrate. It’s similar to what most people have as a soulmate. It’s two souls that were meant to be together and are deeply connected to the other. Sometimes it’s harder to notice, it can take a few years and sometimes it’s almost instantaneous, and it can’t be undone or ignored. And even though sometimes it can be denied by one of the sides, according to the ones who’ve been through it, it’s an awfully painful experience. Some even go as far as describing having a piece of you being pulled out of your heart. 
It also doesn’t have to be necessarily tied to a romantic relationship, you can simply be friends with them for the rest of your lives, even though it doesn’t happen most of the time. Most of the time it isn’t even something to think about, it just feels natural, you feel whole when you’re around that person, they’re meant to be your other half and normally it just clicks. And when you grow up surrounded by wolves, it’s normally a beautiful connection to witness. Raul always found their parents relationship amazing, and deep down longed for a similar deep relationship with someone, finding his mate and falling in love. He just didn’t expect it to happen the way it did. 
It was over four years ago and he was running a bit late to Mike’s, his best friend, nineteenth birthday he was having at his parents’ house. Raul got caught up sorting through some pack stuff and when he was finally done with it, he was already half an hour late and it was outside their little secluded “neighborhood” in the wooded area. It was a bit far from the town so the wolves wouldn’t have a problem with the humans since their existence was still a secret. Only very few and selected humans knew about them. So it was best for everybody if they built their little community on the woods just beside the town, and keep their presence among humans only when seen necessary. 
Mike’s father, who is a werewolf, fell in love with a human (Mike’s mom) and they decided to move into town to be closer to her job since she was a nurse and needed to be near the hospital in case of an emergency. And when Mike was born a wolf, they decided that he was going to be raised like his dad was in the wolf community and would make his decision in joining it or not when he was older. And he did choose the pack life since it felt more natural to him. But Y/N, his younger sister, was actually born a human and was raised by his parents like any human kid, and she was never taken to their community since she was three years younger than her brother and Mike was very protective over her, not knowing how his pack would treat her or react to her.
So when Raul parked his car right outside the address that was sent to him and ringed the bell, he wasn’t expecting to be met with his mate. But there she was, Y/N stood with the door open as her eyes widened the slightest bit and he was sure he wasn’t breathing. He felt like he was floating and her sweet scent of something like Roses and Strawberries was all he could feel. All his other senses were clouded by her presence just a few inches away from him. He didn’t know how to react or what to say, and for the first time in his life he was completely speechless. Raul was normally a very socially skilled person, he was good at talking to people and reading someone’s expressions like a book, always had a sharp answer at the tip of his tongue and knew what to do at most situations, but Y/N caught him off guard. 
She seemed a bit confused as well. Her mouth slightly a gape as she held to the wooden doorframe.  Y/N was really happy she was finally meeting all of her brother’s friends and getting to know a bit more of this part of his life she was deprived of. And she was a bit shocked to notice how big and strong all of his friends were, specially Shawn and Peter, who Mike explained to be the Alphas. They were also incredibly nice to her, she suspects it was her brother’s doing since every time they would say something or curse, they would always look at Mike first. But when the doorbell rang again, she knew it was Raul, he was the only one missing and they knew he was late due to “pack stuff” as they explained. She felt a bit jittery and basically ran to the door from the spot she was sitting next to it on her phone, wanting to get to know her brother’s best friend for a while now. But she wasn’t prepared to meet him.
Sure, he was identical to his twins, but there was something different about him that hit her hard. Of course, he had more tattoos and a few more piercings, he looked a bit rougher in the edges with his leather jacket and wild golden eyes, but there was something that wasn’t about his appearance that took her breath away. And suddenly she didn’t know what to do, they’re both stuck in their place staring at each other. And even though her mind was screaming at her to stop being awkward, invite him in and actually act like a decent being, Y/N couldn’t move a muscle, and he’s probably thinking she’s an idiot and too polite to invite himself in. And in the middle of her internal turmoil, he regained some self control for the sake of both of them. 
Raul cleared his throat shaking his head a bit “Hi, I’m Raul, you must be Y/N” he said and she swore she melted at the sound of his voice “it’s really nice finally meeting you” 
He offered his hand to her to which she swiftly grabbed, feeling his warmth seeping throughout her palm, his fingers curling around her much smaller ones. He had a beautiful design tattooed on the back of his hand and she got a little lost in it. 
Y/N sighed relief he broke the awkward moment and looked up back at him, trying to control her thoughts “Yeah, that’s me, nice to meet you too, would you like to come in?”
Raul smiled as he let go of her hand a bit reluctantly “sure” was all he said as he stepped in closer to her, being hit with a fresh wave of her sweet scent, forcing him to take a deep breath. 
“The boys are outside in case you’re wondering” she said placing a strand of hair that fell out of her little updo behind her ear.
Raul held back the urge to do it himself “Oh, so they annoyed you into staying in the living room?”
“No no” her eyes almost budged out of their socket “I was just- I was just waiting for you since I knew you were running late and they’re all talking, so I didn’t want to intrude and I-“
“Y/N it’s just a joke” he said through a chuckle as he saw her face flushing “relax a bit, honey”
Y/N giggled softly as she closed the door “I’m sorry, I-“
“Hey, dude!” Mike called from across the room, making their heads snap towards him “how’s everything back home?”
“All settled” Raul said taking a step closer to his Beta “just arrived actually”
“Oh, so you met my little sister” and even though it seemed like a normal sentence, Raul knew Mike and knew his posture like the back of his hand, he knew this was a reminder of the conversation they had back home about staying away from her.
“Yeah, she opened the door for me” he said and from his peripheral he saw Y/N nodding confirming his line.
“I see, the guys are outside, let’s go grab a burger for you” Mike said patting him on the shoulder and dragging him away from the front door where Y/N seemed to be frozen in place. 
Raul remembers vividly every little second of that night. Remembers how he decided he should keep his distance for the sake of his friendship and for Y/N herself. She was only sixteen when they met and she is human, which means the bond isn’t too strong for her, specially at first glance, and dating a werewolf was hard. He lived far into the woods and didn’t necessarily mingle with people in town, who were probably her friends and she wasn’t raised with his type, so maybe it would be too much for her. And Raul’s sure Mike wouldn’t be happy about it, at least not now where they first met and she’s that young. So he kept his distance, only talking to her when extremely necessary. 
And that was a pattern he kept for the remaining four years of their limited interactions (which he intended keeping that way).  
As older as Y/N got, the closest she got with the pack. She was always close to Mike, but since she was young she wasn’t allowed to walk or drive alone to the community, but as soon as she was old enough she was always around on the weekends and important dates. And she was just lovely, so everyone adored her, always wanting to have her around for monthly movie nights and even going as far as inviting her to spend the night. Raul couldn’t really blame anyone for wanting her around, he did too, but he couldn’t, so he didn’t say a thing about it. And he knew he made her hesitant on accepting those invitations, cause at every attempt she ever made to get closer to him, he shut her off. And he could see Y/N was hurt, but it was for the best. 
He even tried dating someone else for a while  and he noticed Y/N didn’t like it even the tiniest bit. The girl he was dating was a Beta that was temporarily living with them as her pack solved something around the area, and she was nice. But it didn’t last long, she was only staying for a few months, and on the day she left, there was a barbecue in celebration to one of the older wolves and of course Y/N was there. Raul was late since he was taking his ex to the airport, and Y/N didn’t even look at him when he stepped into the little location they were all settled. He found the act odd but didn’t say a word, only walking towards his brother’s and Mike who were laughing probably about something dumb one of them said. Raul spent a few minutes with them, but he kept looking over his shoulder where Y/N was sat, noticing after an hour she was missing and he instantly started trying to find her.
He dismissed his friends as he walked into the pack house, trying to clear his senses to track her in case she was hurt (since she was a bit wobbly on her feet already), but only to be met with her staring at her phone while sitting on the couch with a huge pout set on her lips. Raul was about to turn and leave when Y/N looked up, noticing his presence and he swears his heart stopped at that moment. She had tears filling her eyes and her lips were trembling slightly, a deep frown set on her brows.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here” she mumbled sniffling softly “I just needed to clear my head a bit”
Raul nodded with softer eyes as he walked closer to her “it’s okay, are you hurt? Are you in pain?”
Y/N shook her head “I honestly don’t know why I’m so upset, I didn’t even drink that much or anything, I just-“ she sighed heavily and looked up at the celling.
“Tired?” Raul offered gently and she nodded her head slowly “want me to drive you home?”
“No, please, just go enjoy the night, isn’t Samantha here?” she said as he sat down beside her, still keeping some distance. 
“We broke up, she left today” was all he said and she looked up at him with wide eyes, but before she could start apologizing, he just pressed his hand to her knee gently “it’s okay, it wasn’t anything serious, no need to apologize, sweetheart” 
“I- okay”
“Still wanna stay?” he pressed gently “I can still take you home”
“No, it’s okay, I was supposed to spend the night anyway” she shrugged.
“Wanna go upstairs and take a nap?” was all he asked and she shook her head. 
“The thing is I was supposed to stay at Stacy’s room tonight, but her boyfriend showed up, so I guess I got the living room” she explained “which is totally okay, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful, I know you don’t like me much, and I don’t want to make things worse” 
And at that his heart shattered “wait, what?”
“Oh no, I really don’t mind, I can call a cab too, I can leave in twenty minutes too, I’m sorry I-“ she started breathing a bit heavily as he picked up her heart racing more than usual.
Raul shook his head, turning on the couch to face her better “No, it’s not that, I’m not mad at you or anything, I just- who said I don’t like you?”
“I- no one” she opened her mouth a few times before closing it until she said something that shattered his heart in a billion pieces “no one, it’s just something I’ve noticed throughout the years”
“What do you mean?”
Y/N sighed deeply as she glanced down at her lap, fidgeting the bracelet she always wore, which Raul caught on a long time ago to be a nervous habit “I know you get uncomfortable when I’m around and Mike told me it was probably something about you not being used to have humans around, and I totally get it, it’s just sometimes it seems like my presence is enough to put you in a sour mood and I don’t think it’s because I’m human or anything, and I shouldn’t be saying this to you, I’m sorry”
Raul took a deep breath as he squeezed her knee gently and seeing her relax a bit at his touch “stop apologizing for everything, you did nothing wrong, sweetheart, well, besides assuming I disliked you”
“Oh” was all she managed out as her brain ran a million mile per hour.
Y/N has had a crush on him for years now, ever since the first time they met. He was the literal description of her type, but the dreamy part ended there. Of course Raul was always polite and never made anything to directly hurt her, but he kept pushing her away and avoiding her like the plague, and maybe it was all in her head, but he didn’t seem like that whenever he was around others. And that did nothing to help her case. She knew nothing would ever happen between them, he made it pretty obvious he wasn’t attracted to her, but she’d like to try and be friends with him but even that didn’t seem to interest him. And it wasn’t his fault, she didn’t even knew the reason as to why she felt the need to have him around, but she just did. So Y/N just lost hope after all the attempts to make him like her, but he was always so distant and it still affected her after all this years. 
In the other hand, Y/N had no idea how hard it was to push her away. Raul was certain she knew exactly what to do to get to his heart, she had to. Every little thing she did made his heart flutter and she was just so good at having people wrapped around her fingers that she made her way through all of his friends lives. He thought they were mates at first glance, her scent was a great clue, but as they got to know each other better, even indirectly, just made him sure of it. Y/N meant much more than what he thought was possible, seeing her stressed over school stuff or sad about whatever reason was enough to put him in panic, not knowing how to keep his distance and stop her from hurting. And all his cold exterior wasn’t necessarily his choice, he knew Mike confessed he hoped his sister would not get with an Alpha, that meant she would have to give up a few things in her life and that would herself in danger for having Raul’s scent all over her. And Mike also told him he would do whatever he could to avoid that to keep her safe.
So he did it for her, to keep her safe from the problems that came along with living in a pack, dating a werewolf and being a human. But it was getting harder, and tonight he decided to ignore it, that she needed him more than she needed to stay away from him. And that’s what pushed him to wrap his fingers around her wrist, making her look up at him
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” he offered in a lower voice “maybe it will help you clear your head a bit” and Y/N seemed a bit shook, looking up at him with wide eyes and she nodded slowly.
Raul smiled fondly at her as he got up with her following him up the stairs to the little movie room the pack out together for movie nights. They sat down side by side as he offered her to pick something for them, then Raul proceeded to reach for a fluffy blanket that was thrown on the corner of the sofa. When he turned back to her she still looked a bit lost, so he offered to put on a show he knew was her favorite, and she just nodded in response. Y/N was too nervous to do anything wrong that would push him back into being his closed off distant self, and she knew she looked ridiculous all tense and barely breathing by his side. 
Raul noticed her stiffness right away and decided to turn off the lights hoping this would make her relax even a little bit. And as the episode progressed he noticed she was getting more and more loose. An hour later, in the middle of the second episode, he felt her leaning closer to him, probably searching for a bit more warmth, so he lifted his arm to rest on the back of the couch and to make room for her in case she wanted. It only took a couple more minutes for her to be basically leaning most of her weight on him, and when her arm slipped, she fell mostly laying on his chest. And as soon as Y/N was ready to start apologizing, Raul shushed her softly, asking her to relax and pulling the covers up both of their bodies, and so she did.
He didn’t notice he was falling asleep until he woke up many hours later with the sound of voices downstairs from his brothers. Raul looked down at his chest to find Y/N cuddled to him, sound asleep as his arm wrapped around her waist held her still. He took a deep breath and almost chose not to wake her and just go back to sleep, to deal with the stiffness due to the sitting position he held and the consequences of sleeping there with her in the morning. At least until he heard the door cracking open slowly and Shawn’s head popping in. 
“Are you two okay?” his brother whispered as he noticed the girl asleep on the couch, and to that Raul nodded in response, afraid to wake her up “take her upstairs to your room, dude, Mike will find out you like her sooner or later and he’ll deal with it, just don’t let her sleep on the couch”
Raul sighed and nodded. Shawn bid his goodnight and closed the door with a soft click. Peter, Shawn and his mom were the only ones to know about his mating situation, and he liked it better that way. They tried convincing him to tell her at least, but they understood that maybe it wasn’t the right time just yet and let him decide what to do with his feelings. 
So he ended up taking his brothers suggestion and as gently as he could, he rearranged the girl in his arms to he could carry her upstairs to his bedroom. Y/N grumbled softly in protest, nuzzling her face further on his neck as she quieted down. Raul had to stop himself from cooing at her. As he walked out into the bright hallway she mumbled something unintelligible before calling his name.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m here, it’s just me” he whispered as they walked into his room, before placing a kiss to her hair, gently lowering her to his mattress. 
Y/N slowly opened her eyes “Raul? I’m sorry, I fell asleep on you” she mumbled quietly. 
“It’s okay, just thought a bed would be a better place for you to sleep other than the couch” he said standing up to his full height and bringing the covers up her body “that’s why I brought you to my room”
“Thank you” she said grabbing his hand and he just nodded at her with a gentle grin on his lips “why are you up?”
“I’m going to crash downstairs on the movie room” he stated caressing the back of her hand with his thumb and she started shaking her hand. 
Her hold on him tightened “No, not a chance, I’m not taking you out of your bed for you to sleep on the couch, please stay here with me, please”
And how could he possibly say no to her looking so sleepy and so sweet?
He breathed a chuckle with a nod “just let me change first, do you need a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt instead of what you’re wearing?”
“Yes please” she murmured feeling a bit embarrassed for making him do all of this for her.
And as if he could read his mind “Don’t look at me as if you’re being a headache, yeah? It’s okay, sweetheart, let me just grab you some clothes” he squeezed her hand before letting go of it in favor of picking up what he promised.
He came back from his closet in only a pair of sweats and a thin white t-shirt, a similar paring folded in his hands for her. She got up to change on his bathroom as he climbed on his bed, trying to contain the excitement of the prospect of having the girl he’s been fond of for over two years, the possible love of his life. Y/N quickly returned in his clothes, following suit and diving under the covers, laying on her side away from him as he stayed on his back, trying to control his breathing after turning off the lights. A few minutes passed and he’s sure she was asleep, the room dark enough so he could only see the silhouette of her body by the faint glow of the moon seeping through his curtains. But then he heard the soft rustle of his sheets as she turned to face him, and he only turned his face on the pillow to properly look at her. 
“Can I ask you something?” she whispered almost as if she was afraid to break the comfortable silence that fell over them. 
Raul hummed in response “anything you want” his voice a soft and raspy tone, making her shiver slightly. 
“Why are you being so nice to me?” her voice barely audible as if she was nervous to ask, or maybe the answer frightened her more. 
“You don’t have to worry about it, you should just rest for now” was his response and she sighed in defeat, nodding her head before facing him away again. 
The clear defeat on her features, despite the darkness was enough to make him regret his words. So Raul turned on his hand, raising a careful hand to caress her exposed bicep. She flinched at first, not expecting his touch, but quickly relaxing to it as he felt goosebumps raise on her skin. He decided to scoot a bit closer almost as if he were testing the waters and she shuffled closer in response. Soon the hand on her arm slid to wrap her waist gently and Y/N sighed happily in return, finally resting her back on his chest. Raul placed a kiss at the top of her head as she melted under his sweet gesture. 
When she was in transition to dreamland, she swears she heard him whisper into her hair, the place he decided to muzzle his face “I’m sorry I made you think I disliked you, Y/N that’s not the case at all” he took a deep breath and she was far to gone to say anything back “You just seemed like you needed me tonight, and I’m sorry if I ever made you think your presence here was unwanted, you’re just too good and I don’t deserve you, sweetheart”
And not knowing if this was true or not, his whispered confessions with that slightly raspy and almost honeyed at the same time voice lulled her completely to sleep. 
                                              -*-
In the weeks prior to that event, neither of them said a thing about that night, not even in an indirect way. Raul barely spoke to his brothers about it, but they already knew what happened, and Y/N didn’t feel like telling Mike would be a genius idea, so she decided against it. And to her disappointment things got back to the old normal, at least for the most part. She felt like Raul was a bit more comfortable around her and didn’t try so much to stay away, but it wasn’t like that day, and it still hunts her that she actually caught a small glimpse of what their relationship could be. But it was also taking its tool on him, that night he slept like a baby and allowed himself to daydream that this could’ve been their reality if things were a bit different.
He woke up that morning pretty early as usual, for his perimeter check, but only this time Y/N was sound asleep on his chest, and maybe he stalled a bit to enjoy her sweet scent a bit more before slowly peeling her off of him and gently laying her back down on the pillows. There was only a bit of resistance in form of a whine but she ended up pulling his pillow to her chest before settling down. It was harder than he thought leaving her on his bed as he quickly changed and jogged downstairs to go on his run, but maybe it was better like this, this way he could run and put his head at ease and actually come up with his next moves. So that’s what Raul did, but as soon as he was back on the house, already in two feet only, she was already wake and preparing something in the kitchen as she chatted with Peter.
Raul leaned on the doorway as he watched her, back on the clothes from last night, talking about her next college project as his brother sipped on his coffee mug, so he cleared his throat not to scare her as he walked in “good morning”
“Morning, Raul, can you keep her company as she eats her breakfast? I actually need to run to Sam’s house to pick up some stuff before he leaves for work” Peter asked, a knowing look on his face as Raul just shrugged it off “thanks, got to go, Y/N, good luck with that sheet!” his brother said before leaving the kitchen completely.
“Hi” she said, eyes trained on the eggs she was making as he stood beside her, his hip leaning on the kitchen counter “would you like some?”
“Sure” he said looking around the room “did you sleep well?”
Y/N’s body visibly stiffened as she cleared her throat before answering “yeah, thank you about last night, by the way”
Raul nodded before changing the subject and seeing her relax at that, knowing it was for the best, mentally deleting the speech he came up with. And that’s where the whole conversation died.
                                              -*-
Months later Raul found himself in an equally as hard situation.
Y/N was spending the weekend at the pack house that was a bit more empty than usual, since a few of the wolves (including Mike) decided to go on a little getaway to run from the cold that was arriving sooner than expected, and since her parents were out of town, his best friend asked if she could stay with them so Y/N wouldn’t be all by herself for four days during the possibility of a storm that was estimated for that weekend. And of course they couldn’t deny it, specially since she was very sweet and everyone loved her.
And tonight was the second night of her in the house and Raul was pacing back and forth on his room, probably about to open a hole on the floor from pacing too much, but he didn’t know what to do. She was downstairs on the living room working on some sort of paper for college and he decided he was going to bed, but as soon as he reached his room, the storm that was expected to happen finally arrived and he literally heard her heart rate speeding up exponentially, but didn’t know how to approach her or even if he should. However, when he heard her curse under her breath when a lightning lit up the whole house he knew he could not do nothing, so he opened the door to his room and basically ran down the stairs. 
As Raul reached the bottom of the stairs, he identified Y/N to be the little ball wrapped up in a fluffy  blanket in the middle of the couch. He took a deep breath before carefully walking towards her, he tried making enough noise so she wouldn’t get caught off guard but not enough to disturb her. But as soon as he reached the side of the couch she looked up at him with wide teared eyes from the little cocoon of blankets she was. Raul physically stopped himself from cooing at her and pulling her to his lap.
Y/N gave him a little sad laugh as she rubbed her eyes harshly “I’m sorry we always end up meeting like this, I must seem like an idiot, right?”
Raul shook his head sitting down beside her “You’re not an idiot, what’s making you so upset?”
She took a deep breath before answering “I guess I’m just tired, and this paper is a bit harder than I thought and I’m actually a bit afraid of storms, and this is all stupid and I-“
“Hey, it’s not stupid, it’s stressful and it’s okay, no one really like storms, they’re dangerous and pretty scary”
“Sure, when you’re five” she said playfully rolling her eyes as he chuckled softly.
“Oh, darling, you know that’s not true”
“Are you scared of storms?” she asked with an arched brow.
“No”
“See?”
Raul chuckled as he shook his head “you’re really something, aren’t you?”
Y/N shrugged as she saved the document before moving to the book she was using as reference “Why are you up if you’re not scared then?”
“You are”
Y/N turned her head in his direction “Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you up”
“You didn’t, I just knew you were afraid and decided to come check on you” he said already regretting admitting to it.
“Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t have to come though, I’m a big girl, I can take it”
Raul gave her his signature lopsided smile that she had only seen a few times directed to her, making her insides a bit toastier than before “I know you can, sweetheart, just didn’t want you to be alone if I could come down and try to help”
“Yeah, that’s the Alpha spirit, right?” and with that sentence Raul rested his head on the back of the sofa with a laugh. 
“Maybe” Raul turned his head to face her, deciding he was going to ignore the whole ‘pushing her away’ speech, at least for a moment “I was thinking that maybe we should make some hot chocolates if you want to finish this paper tonight”
“Are you serious?” Y/N had to confirm she wasn’t going mad and that he was actually willingly wanting to spend some time with her.
“Of course I’m serious, you can’t joke about stuff like this”
“What? Hot chocolate?” she asked holding back a laugh.
“Well obviously” he pushed himself up from the couch, relieved to see she seemed distracted enough to forget about the whole weather outside “I’m aces in the kitchen”
Raul offered her his hand and she smiled at him shaking her head before closing her computer and pushing it aside, taking his outstretched hand and letting him pull her up carefully “well, how did I just find that out?”
“Because I’m normally too tired and busy most of the time to actually make a meal”
She noticed he didn’t let go of her, and she wasn’t going to be the one to do it or point that out “oh yeah, being the Alpha and bossing everyone around must take a lot of your time and energy”
Raul chuckled as he walked her to the kitchen, letting go of her hand against his will in favor of grabbing the ingredients “Mike’s a bad influence, I bet his the one who told you that”
“You certainly didn’t, we barely talk at all” and as soon as the words left her mouth she regretted it. 
Raul was with his back facing her as he sorted through the stuff to prepare their drinks, and she was ready to start apologizing, afraid he was going to push her out all over again. Why did she have to go and say something like that? As much as the mood between them was playful, mostly cause he was trying to distract her and she knew it, but it was light and fun, she had to say such thing and ruin it. Sometimes things felt so natural with him that she just forgets that they aren’t that close. But before she could freak out and start spitting strings of ‘I’m sorry’ he did something Y/N wasn’t expecting. Raul started laughing out loud, turning to face her and she ended up laughing as well, maybe out of nervousness or out of relief, either way she laughed.
“I deserved that” he pointed out “but I guess that will have to change since you have such a distorted vision of the Alpha role”
“I wouldn’t particularly mind” she added softly, in hopes he wouldn’t pay much attention to it, but again, Raul was, apparently, a little box of surprises.
“Me neither, darling” he said before turning on the stove.
Y/N felt heat rising up her chest to her face and decided to clear her throat before changing subjects “Who taught you how to cook? Shawn’s a mess in the kitchen, Peter’s good but I know he took lessons”
“I guess I just learned from watching my mom, when I was little I used to spend a lot of my time in the kitchen with her whenever she was using it, my grandma too, and I guess I somehow absorbed that”
“Oh, they’re good?” Y/N took a tentative step closer to him, eager to learn about him and taking the opportunity of his sudden interest in spending time with her to milk all the information she could.
“My mom’s good, but my nan is just fantastic, she told me she used to sit on the counter by her father and watch him, and I guess I did the same”
“Well, I guess I’ll have to do the same cause my kitchen experience resumes to making toast, sandwiches and eggs” she said and he looked at her from the corner of his eye as if he was pondering.
“Then do it, I don’t mind a little audience” he said and she giggled, hoping on the counter beside where he stood. 
And that’s how they spent most of their night, with light chatter and a bit of healthy teasing going around and they were ecstatic about it. Y/N felt like she was finally able to relax after all the stress and she felt weirdly complete, almost as if before she was missing a piece. And Raul, he was over the fucking moon and already regretting keeping her away for that long, avoiding every type of contact with her and he was almost telling Mike to piss himself and ignoring all this stupid made up rules he made. He sat down by Y/N’s side as he helped her finish her paper and he was actually able to, finishing it in less than twenty minutes, so they just sat down side by side talking about random stuff, until he noticed she was starting to get sleepier and sleepier with every passing minute. 
“You should go to bed, sweetheart” he pointed as she was basically leaning her weight on his side, not that he minded, but they got really close really fast 
“Already trying to get rid of me?” she joked and he laughed despite being afraid that was something she actually believed in, and maybe that’s what drove him to ask her what he did next.
“Never, and if you’re still a bit nervous about the rain you can sleep in my room, I can always take the couch”
“I can’t kick you out of your bed” she said looking up at him
“You’re not kicking me out, I’m inviting you and offering to stay elsewhere”
Y/N shook her head “I don’t mind sharing if you do”
Raul didn’t expect it, but he also wasn’t mad about it “If you really don’t mind, then yeah”
“Okay, I’m ready for bed if you are” she said grabbing her stuff.
Raul nodded as he helped her to carry her school material up to his room, which he placed on top of his dresser before turning around to face her standing awkwardly in the middle of his bedroom.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“Hmm, nothing I just-“ she mumbled as he chuckled.
Raul stopped by the end of his bed “I can still take the couch if you’re uncomfortable”
“It’s not that, you don’t make me uncomfortable” she said as she walked up to him “I don’t know what it is, I just feel safe around you, is it weird?”
Raul was not expecting it as he looked down at her “No, not at all, you can climb on the bed, darling” he offered as he did the same on his side.
She ended up taking up on his offer and laying down on the other side, pulling the covers up her body “you can be really sweet when you want to, you know?” she mumbled softly after a while, after the lights were already off and the only source of light in the room was coming from the lamp on his bedside table.
Raul said turning to face her, only to find Y/N already on her side facing him “Don’t think many think the same”
Y/N laughed and shook her head “guess you’re just good at pretending you’re this big bad Alpha when you’re just a big softie”
Raul laughed throwing his head back and she couldn’t stop herself from admiring the sound, his neck and his beautiful face, looking a lot more soft than normally.
“I really like your laugh” she blurted out before she could think. 
His laugh was cut short when he realized her words and he smiled at her “I like yours, wish I could hear it more often”
“Well, it’s not really hard to get me to laugh”
Raul smiled at her “yeah, hm- I wanted to apologize”
“For what?” she asked, genuine curiosity shining on her eyes.
“For being a dick to you, for such a long time, there’s not an excuse for that, as much as I tried to come up with one” he finally admitted running his hands through his curls. 
Y/N bit her lower lip as she looked at him “you’re never a dick to me, you’re a bit closed off, yeah, but never a dick, you never made me feel uncomfortable or anything like that, and ever since that night where you made it clear you didn’t dislike me, a few things started making more sense to me”
“Like what?” it was his turn to get confused.
She sighed heavily “I thought for a very long time you just hated my guts or didn’t want me near for being a human or an outsider, but then you said it wasn’t the case and you were so sweet to me that night, and the morning after, and ever since that day, even though you weren’t necessarily cuddling with me and being around me all the time, you were slowly opening up, spending more time around me when I was here and at first I was confused, but then yesterday I was talking to Peter and he may or may not have told me this was something to do with Mike”
“What?” Raul almost sat up, but he didn’t want her to stop talking, so he held back his impulse and just kept laying down.
“And I also talked to my mom about it, very recently, and she said my dad had a similar reaction to her when he found out they’re mates… I’m not implying anything, and I can be totally wrong about it, but I thought about it for a second and I swear it made sense, it explained why I felt so drawn to you since I first laid eyes on you” she admitted, coiling into herself a bit.
Raul was completely taken back, not knowing what to do or what to say, not expecting her to come into realization and not knowing how to proceed, that until she mumbled a soft “please say something, anything, just don’t shut me off again”
“No, darling, it’s not that, I’m sorry” he said reaching for her hand as grabbing it in his “I’m just speechless, I- you feel it too?”
“Is it true?”
“I- yes” he sighed in relief.
“You’re my mate?! Or I’m yours, I’m sorry, I don’t know how this works” she giggled nervously.
Raul couldn’t stop his smile to blossom on his lips as he nodded his head what felt like a thousand times “whatever you want, I don’t mind”
“So what does that mean now?” she said shuffling closer to him.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything, I know your brother wouldn’t appreciate the idea and I don’t want to hurt you or cause any pain, darling, I just want what’s best for you” Raul said squeezing her hand gently.
“You could never hurt me, and I don’t honestly care about what Mike thinks right now” she said placing a hand on his chest “what do you want?”
“Honestly?” he asked and she nodded eagerly, which made him chuckle “you, in any way you’ll have me, but I also don’t want to rush you into anything, this works differently for me since I’m a wolf”
“Yeah, I know how sensitive you guys can be” she joked and he laughed, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead “but I want you, I feel the pull to have you near me almost as a need”
“I know, sweetheart, I feel the same way” Raul admitted pulling her closer by her waist “just don’t want to skip any steps with you, but I kept you away long enough”
Y/N nodded tipping her head back to look at his beautiful face better, their noses brushing due to the proximity “agreed, but I still want you close”
“We’re already close, darling” he breathed a chuckled and she shook her head.
“Are you afraid of kissing me? What are you? Twelve?” she teased and he laughed, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.
“Of course not” he whispered leaning a bit closer.
“Then what’s taking you so long?”
“Bossy little thing” he teased one more time before closing the space between them in a gentle kiss.
Y/N tangled her fingers in his wild curls as he cupped her jaw carefully, afraid that if he squeezed her even a tiniest bit she was going to disappear. But his gentle touches soon turned into a bit more urgent ones and she pulled his hair, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. Raul tighten his hand on her waist, trapping her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it to him softly before lessening the sting with a swipe of his tongue. And unfortunately Y/N had to pull away too soon for her liking due to her stupid lungs needing oxygen. Raul leaned in to press a bunch of soft, barely there, kisses all over her face. 
She giggled a bit breathlessly as she murmured “Mike will murder me when he finds out”
“Shh, we can worry about that when he’s back, he’ll have to get over it eventually”
Y/N giggled before leaning in for one more kiss.
“Okay, love, we really should sleep, and then tomorrow I can maybe take you on a date if you want” he said pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before resting his forehead on hers.
Y/N smiled up at him “Or we can have a little movie marathon here and you’ll make me dinner”
Raul laughed “you’re a mean one, you know that?”
“Why?”
“Because you know I can’t say no to you” he said and she smiled at him.
“Good boy, you’re such a good puppy” Y/N teased and he laughed.
Raul shook his head “okay, it’s definitely time for you to go to bed”
                                                -*-
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