#after being removed from the traumatic situation
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CALM AFTER THE STORM |BTS OT7 X READER| HYBRID AU (M)
{Chapter Eleven – Storm}
Pairing: OT7 BTS!HYBRID X FEM!HUMAN READER
Kim Namjoon: Black Mackenzie Valley Alpha wolf
Kim Soekjin: White Alpha Lion
Min Yoongi: White Alpha Jaguar
Jung Hosoek: Alpha Snow Leopard
Park Jimin: Alpha Albino Cobra
Kim Taehyung: Alpha White/ Bleached Tiger
Jeon Jungkook: Alpha Black Panther
Reader: Heaven Valentino Human
Status: Ongoing
RATED (M) FOR MATURE
words: 3.6K!
WARNING: EVENTUAL SMUT, BLOOD GORE, DETAILED GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION, ABUSE (ALL FORMS), PROFANITY, VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, CHARACTER DEATH(MINOR), SADOMASOCHISM ACTS, MENTIONS OF BDSM, ETC...
CHAPTER WARNING: Mild angst, self-blame, accusations.
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MATERIALIST
Heaven's POV
As I stood frozen in the room, my eyes widened at the sight of the abnormally large tiger that stood before me. Its sheer presence sent shivers down my spine, and I could feel my knees threatening to give out from under me in fear.
In that moment of shock, my mind raced at a thousand miles per hour, temporarily causing me to forget about the hybrids that I had in my care. It was only when a flicker of understanding crossed my thoughts that I remembered.
Hybrids.
One name surfaced in my mind—Taehyung.
I had known that hybrids, especially in their animal forms, possessed a larger stature compared to regular animals. However, I never anticipated encountering such a colossal being within the confines of my home.
The tiger, which I now realized was Taehyung, exuded a sense of calmness as he lounged on the ground, his massive form taking up a considerable amount of space in the room.
It struck me then that I had recently removed the chips that prevented the hybrids from shifting.
But they hadn't transformed before, so what triggered the change now?
As Taehyung shifted his gaze towards me, our eyes locked, and I could sense an unspoken communication passing between us.
Despite my best efforts to appear composed, the waves of fear coursing through me were undeniable. After all, who wouldn't be afraid when faced with a creature capable of ending a life with a single swipe of its paw?
With a reassurance that felt more for myself than for Taehyung, I mustered the courage to speak, my voice trembling slightly, "T-tae?"
To my surprise, Taehyung seemed to respond with a hint of recognition, emitting a soft chuff that echoed in the room.
It was a small gesture, but in that moment, it offered me a sliver of comfort amidst the overwhelming uncertainty of the situation.
As the tension lingered in the air, I couldn't shake off the surreal feeling of standing face to face with a being that was both magnificent and terrifying in equal measure.
The immense tiger before me was not just a creature of the wild; it was a reflection of the untamed essence that resided within the hybrids I had come to care for.
And in that moment, as I stood in the presence of Taehyung, I realized that the true test was not in overcoming my fear of the unknown, but in embracing the extraordinary bond that connected us, transcending the boundaries of fear and forging a connection that defied logic and reason.
As I muster up all the courage I can, I slowly take a step into the room, my heart pounding in my chest.
The sight that greets me almost makes me want to bolt out of there; the hybrid in front of me covers his head with his paws, whimpering softly. A pang of guilt surges through me - had my presence scared him?
Knowing the traumatic events these beings had endured, I mentally scold myself for not being more mindful of their feelings. I can't let my fear cause them more distress.
Before I can offer any words of comfort, the peace is shattered by the abrupt entrance of someone behind me. The voice that follows is filled with malice and anger, causing a shiver to run down my spine.
"Get out!" the voice commands, cutting through the tense air.
My eyes widen as I raise my gaze to meet Yoongi's intense stare. I can see the distrust in his eyes, the way he slightly averts his gaze from mine.
"Yoon-" but I'm cut off, his next words hit me like a blow to the chest.
"No! Don't you dare say my name! The only reason I stayed quiet at the hospital was for Jungkook and Jimin's sake, but now I won't let you put my packmates in the same misery," Yoongi's words are laced with a mixture of anger and fear.
His accusations sting, and I struggle to find my voice amidst the whirlwind of emotions. Does he truly think I am capable of causing harm like those vile humans?
With a surge of determination, I step closer to Yoongi, my eyes pleading for understanding. I need to clear this misunderstanding, to assure him that I would never harm them.
"Yoongi, please, let's talk about this. I understand your fear, and I know it took me too long to find you, but I would never..." My voice trails off as a deep growl emanates from behind Yoongi, signaling another member of the pack - Taehyung.
The tension in the room is palpable, and I realize the magnitude of the situation I find myself in. Misunderstandings, fear, and past traumas intertwine in a delicate balance that hangs in the air, waiting to be resolved.
As the tension in the room escalated, the growl of the tiger hybrid reverberated, sending shivers down my spine.
The ferocity in Yoongi's gaze was unmistakable as he issued a stern warning, the intensity of his words cutting through the charged atmosphere.
"If you didn't get the hint the first time, let me spell it out for you. Get The Fuck Out," Yoongi's voice dripped with a lethal combination of authority and danger.
The gravity of the situation became even more palpable as Yoongi continued, his tone low and threatening, "Now, or else I won't be able to stop what Taehyung would do to you."
The mention of Taehyung, coupled with the ominous warning, sent a clear message that the consequences of overstaying my welcome would be dire.
I could sense the underlying tension and the unspoken implications in Yoongi's words, realizing that he was not bluffing.
The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, and a sense of urgency gripped me as I processed the implied threat.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I understood that the situation had escalated beyond my control.
Without hesitation, I made the swift decision to retreat, taking Yoongi's words as a final chance to extricate myself from a potentially dangerous predicament.
Turning on my heels, the sound of the door slamming shut behind me reverberated in the corridor, sealing off the tension-filled room and the unnerving confrontation I had just experienced.
In the dimly lit hall, my heart skipped a beat as I noticed Hoseok, Namjoon, and Jin standing in a somber silence, their eyes fixed on me.
I felt a wave of emotions rushing through me, threatening to break the calm facade I was desperately trying to maintain.
Jin's inscrutable expression added to the intensity of the moment. His unreadable face gave nothing away, but a subtle tick betrayed his true feelings before he turned away and retreated to his room, leaving me with a sense of unease and confusion.
Hoseok, usually the epitome of sunshine and warmth, cast me a glare that sent chills down my spine. The icy demeanor he wore was a stark contrast to his usual jovial self, leaving me reeling with the weight of his unspoken anger as he stormed off to his room, the tension palpable in the air.
A solitary tear escaped, tracing a path down my cheek as my world seemed to shatter around me.
Namjoon approached me, placing a comforting squeeze on my shoulder, a silent gesture of understanding that offered a sliver of solace in the midst of the storm of emotions.
Alone in the hallway, enveloped by the darkness that mirrored the turmoil in my mind, I was left grappling with a profound sense of loss and confusion.
The echoes of unspoken words and unshed tears reverberated within me, as I tried to make sense of the rift that had seemingly emerged out of nowhere, leaving me adrift in a sea of uncertainty.
Where had it all gone wrong? What had I missed, what had I overlooked? The weight of their silent gazes and unspoken words bore down on me, threatening to suffocate me in a suffocating embrace of despair.
As I stood there, a solitary figure in the darkness, I couldn't help but feel the crushing weight of my own inadequacies and shortcomings, the bitter taste of regret lingering on my tongue.
The ghosts of unspoken apologies and unresolved conflicts haunted the corridors of my mind, leaving me lost in a maze of emotions that seemed impossible to navigate.
In that moment of quiet desperation, I found myself grappling with the harsh realities of fractured relationships and the fragility of human connections.
The hall, once a place of familiarity and comfort, now felt foreign and alien, a stark reminder of the distance that had grown between us, tearing apart the fabric of our once-close bond.
And as I stood there, enveloped in the oppressive silence of the empty hallway, I realized that sometimes, the hardest battles we fight are the ones that rage within the confines of our own hearts and minds, the battle between acceptance and denial, between forgiveness and resentment, between holding on and letting go.
3rd Person's POV
A week had slipped by since the once vibrant and cheerful ambiance within the household had been replaced by an unsettling tension that hung heavy in the air.
The hybrids within the house seemed to be actively avoiding any interactions with Heaven, creating an atmosphere fraught with silent animosity.
Heaven, though aware that their behavior was not a personal attack but rather a means of self-preservation for the hybrids, found it increasingly difficult to navigate through the palpable hostility.
Each time one of the hybrids brushed past her roughly in the corridors or made biting remarks, it felt like a physical blow to her emotions.
The younger hybrids, torn between their lingering affection for Heaven and their loyalty to their hyungs, found themselves in a state of inner conflict.
While they missed her gentle touches and warm smiles, the fear of betraying their hyungs kept them at a distance.
Heaven's once comforting scent of lavender and baby powder now seemed to exude a different aura, adding to the sense of unease that permeated the household.
Among the hybrids, Jungkook appeared to be struggling the most, haunted by frequent nightmares that caused him to slip in and out of a state of vulnerability known as little space.
Jimin, on the other hand, grappled with traumatic memories of abuse during their abduction, recalling the harrowing experiences of violation and helplessness.
The remaining hybrids, while not subjected to the same degree of abuse as Jimin and Jungkook, still carried their own scars from the ordeal, contributing to the collective sense of trauma that lingered among them.
The weight of their shared past experiences seemed to cast a shadow over their present interactions, serving as a constant reminder of the horrors they had endured.
Despite their efforts to move forward and rebuild their lives, the specter of their past trauma loomed large, casting a long shadow over their attempts at healing and recovery.
Namjoon's pov
As I lay on my bed, the weight of the mental chains pressing down on my wrists and ankles, memories of the horrors that my packmates and I endured flood my mind. The shadows of the past loom over me, casting a dark cloud over any semblance of peace.
Despite the fear and wariness that gnaw at me from within, I find solace in the fact that Heaven stands apart. She is the rare human who has treated us as equals, who has shown us kindness in a world that often seeks to oppress and divide.
Yet, my own insecurities threaten to drive a wedge between us. The walls I've built to protect myself inadvertently keep her at arm's length, a casualty of my own inner turmoil.
Navigating the delicate balance between my loyalty to my packmates and my yearning for connection with Heaven proves to be a Herculean task.
I strive to quell any hostility that might arise, especially from Yoongi, who bears the scars of past traumas more deeply than most.
I empathize with Yoongi's struggle to trust again, to let down the barriers that shield his heart from further pain. The fragile trust he had in Heaven shattered in the wake of our abduction, leaving behind a fractured bond that seems irreparable.
The desire to seek comfort in Heaven's embrace is a siren song that beckons me, yet the fear of betraying my brothers holds me back.
The choice between personal longing and allegiance to my pack weighs heavily on my mind, a burden that grows heavier with each passing moment.
As I grapple with these conflicting emotions, I know that healing will take time. Rebuilding the bridges that were burned, restoring the fractured trust among us, it all feels like an uphill battle.
I can only hope that, in time, we will find our way back to each other, back to the warmth and understanding that Heaven once offered.
Will she forgive us? our misgivings, our reluctance to embrace the connection we once shared? Or will the wounds of the past prove too deep to heal, driving a permanent wedge between us?
The uncertainty of the path ahead looms large, casting a shadow over my already troubled soul.
Only time will tell if we are able to mend what was broken, to find our way back to the light that once illuminated our bond with Heaven.
Heaven's POV
After finishing a phone call with my brothers, who were concerned about the boys, I decided to ask them to postpone their visit.
I didn't disclose to them that the boys, for some reason, were avoiding me. I didn't want to burden my brothers with unnecessary worry or make a bigger deal out of the situation than necessary.
I felt the need to handle this issue on my own.
Feeling a mix of emotions, I was about to head into the bathroom for a shower when I heard a knock on my bedroom door.
Startled by the sound, I couldn't recall the last time someone knocked on my door. Hopeful that it might be one of the boys, my heart quickened as I hurriedly made my way to answer the door.
Practicing to maintain a neutral expression, I finally opened the door and was taken aback to see Jungkook standing there, looking visibly nervous.
"Jungkook?" I called out softly, my confusion evident on my face.
Considering that the older hybrids had been keeping the young ones away from me, I was surprised to find him standing outside my door.
Given that our bedrooms were in the same hall, it seemed risky for him to be there, potentially leading to misunderstandings with his hyungs.
"What are you doing here?" I inquired, trying to make sense of the unexpected visit.
Jungkook, appearing bashful, fidgeted with his fingers before responding, "Noo-Heaven... I-I-I came to get m-my h-hoodie."
Despite his stutter, I managed an understanding "Oh" in response, unsure of what prompted this sudden interaction.
It was a dark and dreadful day when the boys got kidnapped.
The memory of that horrific day still haunted me, the pain and fear still raw in my heart.
In the midst of the chaos and uncertainty, I found solace in the simple act of holding onto their hoodies.
It was a strange comfort, but their familiar scents made me feel closer to them, as if they were still by my side.
"Would you like to come in and wait while I go fetch your hoodie or do you want to wait here?" I asked softly.
"N-no, I'll stay here" he mumbled softly. I almost didn't hear him.
His hesitant response spoke volumes. I could sense the weight of his emotions, the unspoken grief that we both carried in our hearts.
Retrieving the hoodie from my closet, memories flooded my mind - memories of happier times, of laughter and camaraderie that now felt like a distant dream.
Each hoodie held a different story, a different piece of their personalities. Jungkook's hoodie, with its oversized fit and dark color palette, was a reflection of his strong and enigmatic persona.
I remembered how he would jokingly complain about my fashion choices, but secretly appreciated the effort I made to match his style.
Handing him the hoodie, I was taken aback by his swift reaction, as he mumbled a quick thankyou.
The sight of him retreating to one of his packmates rooms', clutching the hoodie to his chest, stirred a whirlwind of emotions within me.
Alone in my room, I tried to compose myself, to push back the tide of tears threatening to overwhelm me.
The ache in my chest was unbearable, a constant reminder of the gaping hole left by their absence.
Taking refuge in the familiarity of routine, I sought solace in the simple act of taking a shower, letting the steady stream of water wash away the physical and emotional residue of the day.
As I stood under the warm cascade, the echoes of their laughter and voices lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what once was.
The weight of grief bore down on me, threatening to suffocate the flicker of hope that still burned within my heart.
But I knew that I had to stay strong, to weather this storm of emotions and emerge stronger on the other side.
Yoongi's POV
When Jungkook entered the room, the familiar scent of Heaven lingered around him, emanating from the hoodie he wore - the same one that had "mysteriously" gone missing and ended up in her possession.
It was no secret among the group that Heaven had collected each one of our hoodies, yet Jungkook didn't seem to mind as he buried his face in the fabric, savoring the essence of her presence.
Despite his attempts to appear nonchalant, I could sense the longing in his eyes, a silent yearning for her company that he tried to mask.
Witnessing the genuine joy on the face of the panther hybrid, I found it difficult to reprimand him for indulging in the scent filled hoodie, so I chose to silently observe, allowing him to bask in the fleeting happiness it brought him.
Reflecting on the tension that had arisen among the group due to Heaven's presence and the unspoken reasons behind their avoidance, a pang of guilt briefly tugged at my conscience.
However, the memories of my past experiences and the trauma endured by my packmates served as a stark reminder of the importance of safeguarding their well-being at all costs.
Recalling the hardships we had overcome together and the bonds forged through shared trials, I was resolute in my determination to shield them from any potential harm or distress, vowing never to allow them to suffer as we once had.
Although the situation may have strained our relationships and tested our trust, I took solace in the knowledge that my actions were guided by a desire to protect those closest to me, even if it meant making difficult decisions and bearing the weight of their consequences.
As Jungkook lost himself in the memories that enveloped him within the comforting embrace of Heaven's scent, I silently vowed to uphold my commitment to safeguarding the pack, drawing strength from the resilience we had shown in the face of adversity and the unwavering bonds that bound us together.
As I lazily sat on my cozy bed, the soft hum of the TV filling the room, I couldn't shake off the restlessness creeping under my skin. Boredom was like a persistent itch I just couldn't scratch away.
With a huff, I pushed myself off the bed and decided to head downstairs in search of some snacks to cure my growing hunger.
Before I left my room, I turned to Jungkook, who seemed lost in his own world, enveloped in the comforting scent of his hoodie.
"Hey kook, I'm going downstairs to get some snacks, do you want anything?" I asked him, not really expecting a coherent response.
He merely shook his head, his gaze distant and unfocused, and I shrugged before making my way downstairs.
The early evening sunlight was slowly fading, casting a warm glow throughout the house as I made my way towards the kitchen.
However, my plans were halted when I spotted Heaven standing there, looking utterly lost and defeated.
I almost turned back, not wanting to get involved in whatever mess she had found herself in this time.
But her words, filled with self-criticism and disappointment, made me pause in my tracks.
"Stupid Heaven, stupid. You can't do things right anymore!" Her voice was filled with frustration and self-blame, tugging at my heartstrings despite my best efforts to remain indifferent.
"First you fail your hybrids, and now you fail to follow a simple cookie recipe, dar! Yoongi loves tangerines, and I messed this up." Her tone was laced with sadness and regret as she continued to reprimand herself.
I froze at the mention of my name. How did she know about my fondness for tangerines? Was she attempting to make them for me?
The realization hit me, making my defenses momentarily falter as a wave of unexpected emotions washed over me.
Before I could dwell on these fleeting feelings, I felt a surge of anger rising within me.
I hastily made my way back upstairs, desperate to avoid confronting the complex emotions that Heaven's actions had stirred within me.
The internal turmoil left a bitter taste in my mouth as I grudgingly acknowledged that my feelings towards Heaven were far more complicated than mere irritation or indifference.
Fuck!
I don't like where this is heading at all.
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Hey there my sweetpeas! 🌸🌿
I hope you're all doing well and enjoying the latest update in our little story world here. I know I haven't been as consistent with updates lately, and for that, I'm really sorry.
Life's been throwing me some curveballs, but rest assured, I haven't forgotten about any of you.
And also what do you think about my new writing styles? I'm trying to add in as much detail and spice as possible for you guys.
Tell me what you think! 👆🏾
You're always on my mind, constantly inspiring me to keep writing and sharing this journey with you all.
So, about this chapter... I know, it was a bit of a downer, wasn't it?
I promise, things are going to turn around soon. Hang in there with me, we'll get through this together, I promise!
And speaking of that certain character who may or may not have caused some heartache in the story - *cough* Yoongi *cough* - let's not throw too much hate his way, okay?
Sure, he might be acting like a bit of a... well, you know, but hey, characters have their flaws too, right? Let's see where his journey takes him, shall we? 🤔
I know I sound like I'm making excuses for him, but trust me, there's more to it than meets the eye.
And hey, that's the beauty of storytelling, right? Exploring the depths of our characters and seeing them grow and change. It might be a bumpy ride, but I promise it'll be worth it in the end.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter, even with its twists and turns.
Remember, your support means the world to me, so if you loved it, don't forget to vote and leave a comment! Your feedback keeps me going and helps me shape the story in ways I couldn't even imagine.
Thank you all for being such amazing readers and sticking with me through thick and thin. Your love and support are what fuel my creativity and push me to keep writing, even when the going gets tough.
Sending you all a big virtual hug and a million thank yous for being the best readers a writer could ask for! Muah! 💋✨
Take care, my lovelies, and have an absolutely fabulous day ahead. Keep spreading that positivity and light wherever you go. And remember, I'll be back soon with more story updates and surprises in store!
Also let me know if you would like me to do a "Get to know you" I've never really done those before so please, feel free to send or ask me questions about what you would like to know about me.
Until next time,
Your eccentric and favorite Author-nim, always here to bring a little magic into your day. 😉😁💫
TAGLIST OPEN!
TAGLIST: @strxwbloody, @strawblueberrys, @taetaeheart22, @canarystwin, @drenix004, @ghostlyworld, @loumin908, @rinkud, @nikkiordonez12, @taekritimin123, //@mnguyeeen7(still can't tag you) @danielle143, @welcometomyworld13, @avadakadabra93
#my writing#writeblr#bts fic#bts hybrid au#bts ot7#bts x fem!reader#jeon jungkook#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#kim soekjin#park jimin#kim taehyung#min yoongi#kpop bts#kpop tumblr#kpop fanfic#bts fanfic#ot7 x reader#bts ot7 x reader#angst#self blame#false accusations#emotions#bts fanfction#fanfic
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Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:
Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic
[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]
Flashbacks
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]
Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]
Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]
Extreme alertness/hypervigilance
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]
Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]
Feeling like you have to keep busy
[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]
Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive
[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]
Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]
Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(
[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]
Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard
[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]
Blaming yourself for what happened
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]
Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame
#all this wasn't going to fit into my gon analysis but i still wanted to cover it#when i say he was genuinely traumatized i. actually seriously mean that.#note that this does NOT mean he had ptsd!!! ptsd should only be diagnosed if symptoms continue for several weeks to a month#after being removed from the traumatic situation#given that the trauma was ongoing this does not count! we could only say he has ptsd if somehow these symptoms persist when#he's back on whale island after the fact. but honestly i doubt they would#however. in caa? yeah 100% he was very traumatized by kite's death#hence all the trauma symptoms i listed above. poor little guy :(#storyrambles#hxh#gon freecss#this post hurt me to make btw. ow. ow.#i also. cruel as it is i genuinely like that gon's trauma fueled breakdown was. not palatable. like he is genuinely really scary there#and it's REALLY hard to watch and listen to#i really get why killua felt so helpless there.#like. your best friend is incredibly fucking volatile and very obviously wants to and is intending to run himself into the ground#because he feels he deserves it#what the hell is the other thirteen year old supposed to do here. :(
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Hello!!! I hope you don't mind doing this one,
Can you help me write a traumatized person who's having trouble talking because of past trauma? (They can still interact with people, but only with signs and movements, not voice) and also a little anxious
Tell me if you need more details =)
How to Write a Mute / Non-Speaking Character
-> healthline.com
-> verywellhealth.com
-> descriptionary.wordpress.com
Types of Mutism:
selective mutism: having the ability to speak but feeling unable to.
organic mutism: mutism caused by brain injury, such as with drug use or after a stroke.
cerebellar mutism: mutism caused by the removal of a brain tumor from a part of the skull surrounding the cerebellum, which controls coordination and balance.
aphasia: when people find it difficult to speak because of stroke, brain tumor, or head injury.
What Causes Selective Mutism in Adults?
having another anxiety condition, like separation anxiety or social anxiety
experiencing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
having a family history of selective mutism or social anxiety
having fewer opportunities for social contact
having an extremely shy personality
having a speech or language disorder, learning disability, or sensory processing disorder
parent-child enmeshment, or lack of clear boundaries in the relationship
traumatic experiences
Traumatic Mutism vs Trauma-Induced Selective Mutism
if you have traumatic mutism, you may be unable to talk in all situations following a trauma.
with trauma-induced selective mutism, you may find it impossible to talk only in certain situations-- for example, in front of the person who hurt you or in a setting that resembles the circumstances of your trauma.
Different Ways Individuals with Mutism May Choose to Communicate:
Nonverbal Communication: they may rely on facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and body language to convey their thoughts, emotions, and intentions.
Writing or Typing: they may use a pen and paper, digital devices, or communication apps to write messages, notes, or responses.
Sign Language: they can convey meaning, emotions, and engage in complex conversations through hand signs, facial expressions, and body movements.
Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) Devices: these devices provide individuals with a range of tools and technologies to support their communication needs. They can include speech-generating devices, picture boards, apps, or software that allows users to select words, phrases, or symbols to generate spoken or written output.
Communication Boards and Visual Aids: Communication boards or charts with pictures, symbols, or words can assist individuals in conveying their messages.
Assistive Technology: various assistive technologies, such as speech-to-text apps, text-to-speech programs, or eye-tracking devices that aid individuals with communication.
Tips on Writing a Mute / Non-Speaking Character:
Explore the vast array of nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, body language, gestures, and eye contact. Use descriptions to convey their intentions and reactions.
Utilize internal dialogue. Offer readers a window into their internal thought process, and turn their internal dialogue into a narrative that reveals their inner struggles, triumphs, and complexities so that reader can connect with the character.
Establish a communication system that is unique to your character (Sign language, written notes, telepathy in a fantasy setting, etc.). Having a communication system allows your character to interact with other characters and contribute to the narrative.
Surround them with Understanding Characters that can aid in communcation and fostering meaningful relationships.
Establish the Barriers/Conflicts They'll Experience. Don't forget to be realistic.
Your character is not defined by their inability to speak. Make sure you do not write stereotypes and cliches. Being mute is only one aspect of their identity rather than their defining trait.
Do your research! Seek out firsthand accounts, experiences, and perspectives. Check out online forums and resources to gain insights into their unique challenges, adaptations, and strengths.
If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.
#writing prompts#creative writing#writeblr#how to write#writing tips#writing advice#writing resources#writing help#writing tools#how to write a mute character#how to write a non-speaking character#how to write characters
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Untitled Kairi Post
Y'know what? In a way, Kairi was tragically doomed as a character from the very beginning.
"Oh, because she was a love interest and damsel in distress!"
No. Myths, fairy tales and, well, Disney movies have used those tropes for ages, and if you're doing a story where a huge point is the influence of those things, it's kind of a given that the leading lady be a love interest and damsel in distress. And the writing is smart enough to put a twist on the trope given that Kairi's distress is much less than it appeared to be because she's Sora's love interest and he's her's, and after Sora saves her she saves him right back.
"Oh, because she wasn't a playable character or party member!"
No. It would have been nice to have the playable puzzle solving-based Kairi sequence they initially planned at Hollow Bastion, but I can understand why it was removed given how it would slow down the pace following what is perhaps the signature sequence of the game. And in any case it doesn't have any bearing on how things went for the rest of the series, given that Riku also was not a playable character or party member (he just had a crappy AI when pretending to help you fight Parasite Cage all so that he could kidnap Pinocchio).
"Oh, because she was stuck in a coma the whole game!"
NO! God damn it, how much must the game beat the point into your stupid head!?
And who could forget?
Stop laughing right now.
Kairi. Not just "her heart". KAIRI. Since the heart = the person.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, it exposes some serious sexism if one goes with the "Kairi was in a coma" line for KH1 and yet says "Ventus was inside of Sora" post BBS, since it's literally the exact same situation except that Kairi was always awake within Sora's heart as opposed to Ventus only waking up at the end of 3D. It's why Sora felt things regarding Hollow Bastion, why he experienced the memory of Kairi and her grandfather, and why he saw and heard Kairi multiple times. He wasn't hallucinating; that was always really her.
So, enough beating around the bush. What did I actually mean, then?
Well....let's start at the beginning.
Kairi's arc in the original Kingdom Hearts is not just told through the writing. Utilizing a video game as a visual/audible medium, it is also told through animation, voicework and music. During her introductory cutscene, we see Kairi asked by Sora if she remembers the world she was born in before being sent to Destiny Islands. "I told you before. I don't remember." She answers this sincerely. "Nothing at all?" Sora responds. That's when we see this detail.
"Nothing." Kairi is lying. She doesn't remember everything given the trauma caused by being forced out of her old home, but she does remember just enough to understand why it was traumatic. She had a comfortable life there, and a family. She was happy. And then it was all gone in an instant. Now, on Destiny Islands, she is similarly content ("Well, I'm happy here.") and fears risking that same loss. And yet a small part of her still yearns for the past. She loved what she can recall of her past, as she loves her present. She fears only the future.
Riku's fixation on his existential woes and the mysteries of the universe, while also putting her up on some sort of pedestal like she's something special, is not helping at all. Something about it feels wrong to Kairi...wrong and uncomfortably familiar. It's making her very anxious.
But Kairi has someone to lean on and help her keep up an optimistic, cheerful front, perhaps enough to talk herself into believing it: Sora. And during this scene, we hear the track "Kairi I":
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This track reflects Kairi's character in this moment. While there is a subtle undercurrent of worry, her heart is strong enough to not let it get to her and look on the bright side as she looks out to the sun setting over the ocean. With Sora's reassurance, she is able to feel as though her home and friends won't change or go away no matter what happens on her, Sora and Riku's planned voyage, which allows her to feel anticipation for it. All finally feels right.
Of course, things were not right, and Kairi ended up in heart form as her body and soul were lost to darkness along with Destiny Islands. From Kairi's POV, she is now in the Station of Awakening (aka Dive to the Heart) and can do little but watch Sora's adventures as she can see them through his eyes, not fully putting it together why she can and where she truly is.
In the scene at Merlin's House, we get to hear "Kairi II".
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While it's similar to "Kairi I", there is now a more somber and mysterious feel to it given the present circumstances. While she doesn't know if Sora can hear her, Kairi wistfully waxes nostalgic over how Merlin's House reminds her of the Secret Place on Destiny Islands. And while Kairi feels sad over missing that place, she's also happy that there are places like it elsewhere in the universe. She's clearly learning as much from Sora's journey as Sora is.
Finally, we hear "Kairi III" in the flashback with little Kairi and her grandmother.
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And while it starts out reflecting Kairi's childhood innocence, it ends up turning...almost sad. The reason why being one of the most overlooked details of the scene: at the end of the grandmother's story, she disappears, and little Kairi is shown moving her head all around looking for her. This isn't actually part of the memory, but a reflection of Kairi's heart. She knows that she had a grandmother and that her grandmother isn't here anymore, but she can't remember how her grandmother "left". But she at least still exists...within her heart.
Speaking of which, once Kairi's heart returns to her body and Sora loses his heart in the process, Kairi puts her foot down. She may have learned how to better deal with and accept change and loss, but a line still has to be drawn somewhere and Sora is that line for her.
Thus is she able to save him. Later, we see her worry about the future and things changing again when she questions whether anything can be the same between her, Sora and Riku again after the corruption Riku had underwent. Once again, Sora boosts her optimism.
More importantly, he helps her learn, as he does, that even when separated you can take strength in keeping your loved ones (metaphorically) in your heart, and that even if things change and Kairi is cut off from the people and things she loves, they will always exist within her heart, just as with her grandmother and the story she told her about light and darkness.
This is why, in the end, Kairi is able to let Sora go and yet still feel content.
From "Hikari" (JP):
I'll stop doing pointless things like thinking about the future.
Today I'll eat delicious things.
The future is always before us,
Even if I don't know it.
From "Simple and Clean" (EN):
Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all.
Nothing's like before.
This is a really good, really well done character arc.
It's also a very human character arc.
Yes, there are a lot of fantastical things going on, but when you put all of that aside, what are you left with? A young girl moves away from her old home and everything that she ever knew and loved, which gives her anxiety about the same thing happening with the new home and everything that she's come to know and love from it, which now includes a certain boy. She fears the future; she fears change. In the end, she ends up staying in her new home - but the boy moves away! However, through her time spent with him she's learned to accept this because he'll always be a part of her heart, which is something that won't ever change.
When put that way, it sounds positively mundane, and by and large the KH fandom - and Tetsuya Nomura himself for that matter - don't want or like mundane stuff like that. They want the crazy, the overdramatic, the angsty, the flashy, the anime tropeyness they're familiar with. This is why they were unreceptive to Kairi's arc to the fullest degree, as in many of them are literally unaware it even happened because they were too busy fixating on the archetypal Japanese media-style dick measuring contest between Sora and Riku (which is also far deeper than they tend to give it credit for, btw, but I digress). And if that's the case, then the question gets raised: why bother focusing on or expanding Kairi at all? She doesn't "sell".
THIS is why Kairi was doomed from the start. It's not her fault. But it's sadly the truth.
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Fighting For Control (Valentino x Employee Reader, Valentino x Wife Valentino x Daughter)
HUGE TRIGGER WARNING.
Eating Disorders. Eating disorder Treatment. Valentino.
Valentino sat off to the side and gazed at the stage. One by one, his dancers strutted down, swung their hips towards him and gave a smile. Casual dress was required for this particular cat walk. Despite being known as one of the most ruthless bosses of hell, he still needed to make sure his girls were healthy, and taking care of themselves. After all, it was just bad business to have his girls passing out in front of clients. He nodded in approval as each girl walked, seeming pleased until one of his dancers seemed to wobble down the stage.
A frown crossed his face. Reader.
He knew when he hired her she would struggle with adjusting to a more comfortable lifestyle. And now as he took in her two loose braids, oversized sweater and jeans that he noticed last week were falling off her hips, alarm bells were ringing. He waited until the rest of the girls finished and then leaned over to the demon next to him.
“I need reader in my office. Now. The rest of the girls are free to leave. And tell the nurse’s office to be on standby.”
Truth be told, he suspected when he hired her that she suffered from an eating disorder. Most of his girls did at some point in their careers. The majority of them came from a traumatic past, a life of fighting to survive. It was only to be expected that in this new line of work, the removal of that constant stress occasionally manifested in less than ideal ways. As he walked back to his office, he considered how he should handle this situation. In his early days, he would have simply forced her on the scale and if the number that flashed beneath his displeased him, he would have sent her off to the hospital for treatment, with the understanding that she could return only when she demonstrated progress. After all, he had a business to be concerned with, and an image to uphold.
But now he had his own teenage daughter, one who struggled with her own issues surrounding food. Following her through therapy, working with her during family dinner time, and holding her as she cried because the little voice inside her head made her think she wasn’t good enough, would never be thin enough, pretty enough, had changed his entire perspective on both the illness and its treatment. He was thankful his experience in the field helped him catch his little girl before she was in as rough shape as reader clearly was, but his experience with someone he loved certainly made him a bit softer to his workers who were struggling. He took his seat in his chair as he considered his options. Separation of work and home- this wasn’t his daughter, or his wife. This was his employee. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t show compassion to her- concern and care. After all, she was battling a monster he had only glimpses into.
A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts.
“Ah. Come in,” he called. He studied reader as she walked in. Her hair was back in two loose braids, a useless attempt to hide her hair loss. Her jeans were practically falling off her hips with each step she took. Her tee shirt and oversized cardigan were recognizable defense mechanisms- armor she was desperately trying to hide behind. He knew he needed to come from a place of concern, or he would be shut down instantly.
“Take a seat muñeca, ” he said, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.
She did so reluctantly and her eyes averted his gaze. “Did I do something wrong, sir?” Her voice was soft. Frightened.
“No, bebita. You didn’t do anything wrong. But I am concerned about you. Tell me the truth, doll. Is everything okay? Are the other girls treating you alright?” He asked.
“Yes sir, they treat me fine,” she muttered.
He considered how to approach this. Looking at the big picture, she was relatively new to him. She didn’t really know him or his methods. Softness, first, he thought was the best option. “You’ve been with me for how long now…three months?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you live in one of the flats with the other girls, yes?”
She kept her gaze down. “Yes, sir.”
“Are you finding the essentials sufficient? Your room, clothing, food?”
That got a reaction out of her. He watched as she switched to defensive mode at the mere mention of food. His heart sank. Part of him wished his suspicion was inaccurate, but her behavior simply confirmed his fear.
“Yes, sir. Everything is fine. Can I go now?”
“You may not.” He stood up and pulled a scale out from his desk. “I’m noticing a concerning pattern of behavior, cariño. I need you to step on the scale for me, hm?”
The defensiveness overtook her. “No.”
He expected such a reaction. She needed to be reminded who was in control here- it was her best chance at survival. The red chains sprang forward and wrapped around her wrist, bringing her to him.
“I own you. You will do what I say, when I say it. And that includes this. Understood?”
He watched the familiar battle unfold. Unlike his daughter, he had control over this demon. More of the ability to save her from herself. He released the chains and he nudged her to the scale- the one that wouldn’t flash the number on the base, and instead send the data directly to his phone. Another trick he learned with his daughter. Without another option, reader stepped on.
He checked the digits that popped up on his phone. Valentino felt his stomach drop. The number was by far one of the lowest he had seen. Guilt spread through him, anger at himself and this illness. He should have been keeping a closer eye on her. He only hoped the threat of his contract would be enough motivation for her to comply with treatment. Technically speaking, he could keep her alive. But there were parts of an eating disorder he couldn’t control.
“Alright, babydoll. Step off,” he said quietly, sliding a hand under her arm. “And sit for me.”
Terror spread across her features. “What is my weight?”
Valentino looked at her evenly. “Too low for me to comfortably have you on my stage, bebita.”
“But what exactly is my weight?” she begged.
“You need to let me worry about that, sweetheart,” he replied evenly. He knew better than to get combative. After all, he was the one in control here. Not her. And he certainly wouldn’t let her illness work its way in. ���Let me be very clear with what will happen next. I’m going to escort you down to the nurses office. From there, you will be hospitalized until that number is in the healthy range.”
Reader crossed her arms. “You can’t do that! I’m an adult!”
“Oh I can. I own you. Or have you forgotten that?” He leaned forward, “And I refused to let one of my most promising dancers starve herself into nothingness.”
“I eat, Valentino. I do! Please, just let me go home,” she begged. “Please! I’m fine! I swear!”
He looked at her softly. “You’re not fine. That much is clear. Come along now. I’m taking you whether you fight me the entire way or not.”
Normally, he would have the nurse meet them with a wheelchair for a number that low, but she was already so frightened. His heart ached for her, for the pain she was going through both physically and mentally. He slipped his hand under her arm and guided her down the hallway. She seemed to shut down in his grasp, a quiet, fragile doll.
“You will do what they say, you will eat what they tell you and you will not fight them, do you understand?” He asked once they were in the nurse's office. He sat her on the bed. “We’re going to get a gown on you. Arms up.”
He carefully pulled back her sweater. She sat stiffly, not actively fighting him but also not helping him in any way. He tugged off her t-shirt and bit back the gasp that threatened in the back of his throat. Emaciated wasn’t a strong enough word.
He kept his touch gentle as he tied back the gown and helped her lay on the bed, but inside, anger bubbled. This disease, this illness was something he couldn’t eliminate, as much as he wanted to. He watched and listened quietly as the doctor as he came over and began to work over her. After a few moments, the doctor turned to Valentino.
“Two thousand calories, through her nose to start,” the doctor said. “And we’ll get her into therapy right away.”
He wanted to tell the doctor to talk to her, not to him. But that illusion that he was in control, not her eating disorder, couldn’t be broken. Valentino turned to her and to his surprise, she looked furious.
“Five hundred. And no feeding tube.” She shot back.
The doctor looked at Valentino and Valentino bit back a sharp word. It wouldn’t help anything for him to be angry.
. “This isn’t a negotiation. What the doctor says, goes. The only choice you have is if you take this willingly or we keep you too sleepy to fight.”
His words seemed cold even to him, and he honestly suspected that that was an empty threat. He doubted her body could handle anything extraneous at this point. But by the expression on her face, she didn’t know that.
“Valentino, no please,” she begged. “I’ll eat more, I promise.”
“Then prove it,” he replied sternly. He laid a gentle hand on her forehead, “I want to see next week's weigh in significantly higher.”
Her tone hardened. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”
“You do not.”
“Fine.”
Valentino watched as the doctor slid the tube into her, biting back the frustration that was building in his chest. Flashes of his own daughter being threatened with the same treatment raced through his mind.The threat was enough to scare her into his arms, sobbing and making the same promises. He was thankful she had kept her promise, and came home that day, willing to consume what the doctor prescribed. To an extent, of course- but they worked through it together.
Finally, once reader was settled, he watched as she closed her eyes. She had to be exhausted. He hoped she realized now that she was in a safe place, and they were on the same side, but he doubted it. Which was fine with him- he didn’t mind being the enemy for the time being.
“Will she make it?” Valentino asked as they stepped out of the room.
The doctor shrugged. “She should. She’s lucky you are so…attentive to your employees.”
Valentino felt his expression harden, a mask to protect helpself and his reputation. “It’s bad business to not be. I’ll check in on her tomorrow. If she needs anything, let me know and take care of it the best you can in the meantime. I expect updates- this one shows promise on my stage.”
And with that, he turned and walked out. The clock on his watch said five, and he needed to go home. Exhaustion swept over him, feelings of helplessness and the worry that that could have been his daughter. His wife. Both struggled with their own body issues. The desperate feeling of anxiety overwhelmed him. He checked both their vitals on the app he had synched to his phone. The numbers were fine, but just checking wasn’t enough. He needed to see them, needed them in his arms, and needed to make sure with his own eyes that they were safe. He walked from the elevator to the door of his wife’s office. He pushed open the door without a knock and closed it behind him.
She looked up from her computer. He smiled as he took in the sight of her. Pretty blonde hair pulled back into a loose bun. Blue light glasses to prevent headaches. And an outfit that she could dominate the entire world in.
“Hey honey, what’s up?” She asked as she stood up. “Everything okay?”
He pressed his lips to hers and wrapped her in his arms. “Just a long day.” Even to him, the words sounded flat. He pushed her head to his chest and held her against him for a heartbeat. He wasn’t ready to talk, not yet. At the moment, he just needed to hold her.
She gave him a knowing look. “Mhm, sure. Bed tonight?”
Of course she knew. He knew she knew. And she wouldn’t press the issue, not until he was ready. Or until bedtime. Whichever came first.
“Is our baby princessa home or did she stay late at school?” He asked as he slowly released her.
His wife pressed her cheek to his and gave him a nuzzle and a kiss. “She’s in her room last I checked. Why? Did she…”
“No, no. I just want to see my daughter,” he replied quickly. “Go back to work mi amore. So you can come home sooner.”
She looked at him with concern. “You did have a rough day. Let me finish up, I’ll be home in an hour.”
He gave her another kiss before letting her go back to her work, and he made his way upstairs to their own floor of the V tower. Their home they shared with his two best friends. Down her hallway, his daughter's door was closed and he hesitated for a moment but knocked anyway. He needed to see her, for his own sake.
“Baby Princessa? Are you awake?”
“Daddy? Yeah come in, I'm working on my homework.” He heard her reply.
He pushed open the doors of the once pink room. Now everything within reflected her current interests. Blacks. Grays. Reds. Purples. Not too different honestly than her Aunt Velvette’s. It was an adjustment, watching her grow from a little girl to a sullen teen, but he was grateful she had the support, love and anything else she needed.
“Hi bebita,” he walked over and kissed the top of her head. “How was your day?” He expected to be met with sullenness, an implied go away, Dad, I’m busy, that so frequently laced her voice these days.
To his surprise, she turned around and beamed. “It was long Daddy, but look I got an A on my Spanish test thanks to you!” She excitedly handed him the paper, “look! I even got the bonus words right!”
“Ah, pequeño amor, I am so proud of you! You did the work. Not me. But come here, give your papi a hug.”
She stood up and practically ran into his arms and jumped up as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and held her for a moment, feeling her weight in his arms. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. She was okay. She was healthy. They still had plenty of time together to be sure they had stamped her eating issues early on in life.
“Daddy, are you okay?”
The sound of her concerned voice broke him from his thoughts. He gently released her. His daughter was okay, and she would continue to be okay.
“Yes, bebita. Come on, let’s pause your homework. Mom should be home soon, and let’s grab Aunt Velvette and Uncle Vox. We can go out to dinner and celebrate that A. How’s that sound?”
“Deal! Thanks Dad!” She jumped up and wrapped her arms around him again. “Best Papi ever!”
That he wasn’t so sure of, but he accepted the compliment anyway.
At dinner that night, he watched how much she consumed. How she reacted to the arrival of dinner. He searched desperately for hints that her issues were making a headway. To his relief, he saw nothing- no sign that her illness was anywhere close to showing its ugly self.
He laid in bed later that night, the weight of his wife’s head on his chest as he filled her in on the events of the day, his worries, his fears. His concern for both reader and his daughter. It felt good to get it all out, to have his other half to share life with.
“I just, I wish I had acted sooner,” he finished.
“But the doctor says he thinks she’ll be okay?” She asked as she pressed her lips to the center of his chest. “Then that’s what matters.”
“It could have been our daughter,” he said aloud. “I didn’t see any sign of it at dinner tonight, but it could have been her lying in that hospital bed. It could have been her so close to death.”
His wife sat up. “That’s really what’s bothering you, isn’t it? Not just the fact that you’re seeing your own employees- which lets admit, Val, you’ve started to give a damn about, but also seeing your worst fear for your own daughter blossom in front of your eyes.”
He nodded and followed ensuite. “I keep seeing that image of her, she was so thin it was terrifying. If I was even a week later…”
“But you weren't. You got reader into treatment on time, and are doing everything in your power to help her beat her illness. And, my love, our daughter is fine. We are doing everything we can to make sure that she continues to beat this. She’s in weekly therapy sessions, hell we haven’t had a dinner fight in almost two years.” She took his hands in his. “Val, you can’t beat yourself up over this.”
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He hated this, the lack of control The feeling of helplessness. He wasn’t used to this feeling- Valentino was all about control.
“Babe, where are you going?” His wife asked.
“To check on our daughter.”
He pushed open the door to her bedroom and to his relief, he saw her curled up under her blankets, fast asleep. He stood there for a second, watching the rise and fall of her chest. He looked at his phone for the second time that day. Her vitals were fine. She was fine. Reader would be fine. He felt an arm wrap around his waist and he looked down at his wife.
“She’s as perfect as the day she was born,” his wife said softly. “Come back to bed, Val. She’s okay.”
Valentino allowed himself to exhale and back in his own bed, he laid his head on his wife’s chest and closed his eyes, allowing the sound of her heartbeat to fill his ears. “Mi amore, why do the people in my life not see the beauty that I see in them?”
“Val, I wish I knew the answer,” she replied tiredly as she held him. “But I don’t. But I can tell you that you’ve done enough for today, you did the right thing for reader, and you, my love, need to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning, I promise.” She shifted herself under him and gripped him tighter. “I’ve got you. Now sleep.”
He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to wash over him. His wife was right. Reader would be okay, and his daughter was okay. He would take care of them all with everything he had.
#hazbin fluff#hazbin hotel#valentino x you#the vees x reader#vox x reader#valentino x wife#valentino#valentino x reader#the vees#valentino hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel valentino#valentino x female reader
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Feathers Falling
Yandere Keigo x Yandere Dabi x Reader
Reader has a wing quirk.
Warnings: drugging, implied kidnapping, wing clipping, control, Yandere themes
Checkout my Master List here.
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Running, running, running. You’re always running.
You don’t like running, hate it actually, but you have to find somewhere safe from their presence. Keigo and Dabi chase you around the penthouse like a deranged game of cat and mouse. It is absolutely awful. You’re out of breath, huffing and sweating as fear laces each droplet on your forehead. How disgraceful you must look compared to the pro hero and villain who don’t even seem that bothered from running around.
Finally, your body can’t take being chased anymore. You turn to Keigo with your hands out in front of you, trying to keep some distance. You have no idea where Dabi is, and that scares you the most.
“Stop it! I don’t want my wings clipped anymore!”
“You know we have to. It’s the only way I can make sure that you’re staying safe.” Keigo crosses his arms.
He’s not in the mood to be dealing with this but neither are you.
“You said I was perfect as I am. If you truly loved me, then why are you trying to change me? Please, let me have my feathers.”
He grimaces. His jaw clenching. Keigo doesn’t know what to say because on one hand, you do have a point. He loves your entire being. On the other, he’s controlling and protective.
“Let’s not make this any harder than it has to be. Okay?” His feathers rise in a threatening fashion.
Arms snake around your waist. You look down at the patchy forearms. You never hear Dabi come up behind you. Despite his clunky combat boots, he can be really stealthy at times.
“Quit throwing a tantrum, Doll Face. Let chicken wings clip ‘em, and then we’ll do something special after.”
“All you two ever do is try to control me, and I’m sick of it! Why does Keigo get to keep his feathers but I can’t?” You sniffle, trying to hold back passionate tears.
This ruffles Keigo’s scarlet feathers. “It’s not like that, babe. I’m a hero. I have to keep my feathers. If I don’t, people could die.”
“I saved a dog from being run over once,” you say as a pout forms on your face.
Keigo can’t help the small smile that crosses his features. “You sure did, Dove. Come on, we need to get this done. It’s getting late, and you need your bath after.”
“If you don’t cooperate, I could always just rip them out while I hold you down,” you hear Dabi whisper in your ear from behind you.
Your wings start flapping, trying to get him off of you. “No ripping! No ripping!” You’re still a little traumatized after the first few incidents of having your feathers plucked instead of clipped.
Dabi only holds you tighter.
Keigo puts his hands out, trying to calm you. “Chickadee, he didn’t mean it. Okay? We’re not going to rip out your feathers.”
You seem to calm down upon hearing his declaration. “You won’t?”
He nods and shares a look with Dabi. It seems as though they’re silently communicating about something, and you can’t help your rising stress over the situation.
A slight prick lingers on your thigh, and you hiss. Looking down, you watch Dabi remove a syringe.
“It’ll be alright, Doll Face. Since you didn’t want to cooperate, you’re not going to get that reward,” is the last thing you hear from Dabi as you go limp in his arms.
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When you wake up, you’re pissed because your feathers have been clipped. You want to scream, to sob at how unfair they treat you. Impulsively, you get up from the bed and throw a glass of water at the wall. It hurts that you can’t have one thing to control over your body, but at least you have mating season to look forward to.
#my hero acedamia#boku no hero academia#yandere#bnha yandere#mha yandere#keigo takami#mha keigo takami#bnha keigo takami#yandere keigo takami#yandere keigo#yandere keigo x reader#dabi#mha dabi#bnha dabi#yandere dabi#yandere dabi x reader#dabihawks
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Stolen Hoodie | Bada Lee Social Media Au
pairings: bada lee x shin nari
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Tatter was patiently for Bada to leave her things so they could leave to eat something. Bada tossed her bag to the ground before removing her grey hoodie and tossing it down next to it. After fixing her hair, Bada made her way towards Tatter, eager to get going and
"Let's go. I'm starving," Bada said with a smile.
Tatter nudged her playfully in response as she eagerly nodded, "Finally. I thought you'd never come."
They stepped into the busy cafeteria, filled with students from the university of arts. Tatter grabbed some tteokbokki, while Bada settled for some pizza.
Tatter let out a groan upon discovering that her food was cold to the touch. "Nooo, it's cold," she exclaimed.
Bada chuckled in response, "Well, what did you expect? For them to keep it warm just for you?" Tatter stuck out her tongue at Bada
Tatter looked around not knowing how to start the conversation shes been longing to have. She cleared her throat deciding to just go for it
"Sooo, my friend has this friend whos super pretty and hot" Tatter began to ramble but Bada wasnt paying attention to her, her eyes locked on her phone as she scrolled down "Look she's so pretty and funny
Tatter showed her a picture of Nari but Bada didnt even cast a glance "Yeah so pretty"
"Bada," Tatter whined again, her phone now locked, "You didn't even look at her!"
Bada huffed, setting down her phone. She looked up at her best friend, giving her a sigh that was both genuine and resigned. "I'm sorry, Tatter," she spoke softly, her tone being sincere yet not budging. "I'm not interested in anyone right now, and I don't plan on it."
"But, Bada-" Tatter started to say, but Bada quickly cut her off.
"Tatter, please," she said with her eyes locking with her best friend's. There was true sincerity and desperation in that single glance, as she begged for Tatter to please understand and respect her decision.
Tatter sighed, as she felt a deep sense of guilt and sympathy for her friend. She had held her tongue while Bada was with her ex-girlfriend, despite Tatter's distaste for the woman's attitude, simply because her best friend had loved her so much.
Yet now, she was confronted with the reality of that love ending, and her best friend being betrayed in that way. Tatter let out a grumble at Bada's misfortune, her feelings of hatred and hurt growing deeper in her chest as she processed the situation.
Tatter wanted nothing but for Bada to find joy and healing. Though, she also acknowledged Bada's position and feelings, which she had to respect. She had to allow her friend the time and space she needed to process and recover from such a traumatic event, regardless of how badly she wanted to see her smiling again.
Bada's question startled Tatter out of her reverie, as she turned to look at her best friend. "I'm done. Are you ready?" she asked, as Tatter glanced at the partially uneaten pizza.
"But, you didn't even finish your pizza," Tatter pointed, confused.
Bada simply shook her head, replying, "I'm not that hungry anymore." She didn't elaborate, seemingly more focused on getting ready to leave. Tatter didn't protest and got up
Unbeknownst to Bada and Tatter, Nari walked into the dance class, noting that the door was opened. She couldn't help but smirk mischeviously as she scanned the room, recalling the tweet she'd recently seen. "Fashion students are annoying, huh?" she spoke out loud, her tone dripping with sarcasm and disdain.
Nari's eyes scanned the environment, ensuring she was alone before grabbing the grey hoodie from the floor and stepping out of the open door. After confirming that nobody was nearby, she bolted for the hallway
As Bada and Tatter turned the corner, they saw their dance class door opened. However, things quickly turned sour as Bada recognized something - a girl was leaving with her grey hoodie.
"Hey, isn't that my hoodie?" Bada pointed out, her expression shifting to disbelief. Tatter followed her gaze, noting the familiar grey hoodie being taken away by a complete stranger.
Tatter couldn't control her laughter as "Y-yeah"
"Stop laughing-HEY THATS MY HOODIE" Bada yelled but the girl, was completely unaware of Bada's yells, she maintained a swift pace as she walked away.
Bada's shouts were pointless and the girl walked out from view. The dark haired girl with tall girls hoodie left no sign of recognition, her back facing Bada the entire time.
Bada didn't even try to chase her "What the fuck did I just witness"
#bada lee#bada lee x y/n#bada lee edit#bada lee fanfiction#bada lee fanfic#bada lee imagine#bada lee au#bada lee imagines#bada lee x oc#bada lee x reader#bada lee smau#smau#social media au#stolen hoodie smau#gxg#wlw#tatter#swf#swf 2
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I often see this sentiment that Ned should have told Cat the truth about Jon and it would have solved all their problems. I disagree with this? I don't think Ned was being an idiot for not telling Cat. I think there were a multitude of reasons of why he didn't tell her, and all of them held weight in his decision.
1) he didn't know or trust her when they got married
2) a secret stops being one if you tell even one person about it. He promised Lyanna he wouldn't tell anyone and that included everyone, except obviously the people already present at the tower (Howland and the wet nurse I presume)
3) there is a possibility that Cat's behavior towards Jon would have changed knowing he was not a result of Ned's affair, but her resentment towards him also provided a cover. If she treated him, say cordially, then it would have been very suspicious considering Ned was already fostering him at his own home.
4) after he came to know Cat, he would have realized that she was fiercely protective of her family, she wouldn't have thought twice before giving up Jon for her children if it came to that. A choice no sane person, including Ned, can fault her for. By not telling her, he removed that option for her, saved Jon and also saved her from the guilt that would have haunted her.
5) he was committing treason that would have endangered Cat and his children. In case it ever got out there was plausible deniability for his family that they didn't know and it might have saved them.
His actions hurt both Catelyn and Jon but it was a very complicated situation overall so I understand him too. I don't know what would have been the alternative because I don't think telling Catelyn would have solved anything. What is your opinion on this?
I don't think people generally claim it would have magically fixed "everything", but many also misunderstand how Ned is mishandling the situation. He isn't actually handling it well by himself, he isn't handling it the way he would have if Jon was actually his bastard. His inability to be "normal" about it and come up with a convincing lie created most of the avoidable problems we see, which is Catelyn's eternal insecurity about Ned's feelings for Jon (and his mother) which feeds her anxiety about her own children being usurped, plus Jon's complete trauma over knowing absolutely nothing about his mother. Both are left hanging for no logical reason from their POV, and that's an absolutely insane path for Ned to go down.
True, and then he chose to go the worst way about it and never fixed it later.
Howland knows. The Daynes know. Wylla probably knows. Benjen probably knows. Come on. And we don't know what she made him promise and it's more likely to be along the lines of protecting her son than specifically never telling anyone who could have helped him handle this better.
Catelyn being "nice" to Jon isn't even half of it. She could have advised Ned on how to handle the situation in a realistic way with the least harm done. Which is likely to foster Jon somewhere, make plans for his future instead of leaving him aimless, create a believable lie about his mother that doesn't shame him, have a harmoniously accepted situation instead of making his kids grow up with this unresolved conflict warping their emotional well-being.
What situation could realistically arise where Cat could "sell out" Jon to "save" her children that specifically depends on her knowing this and also wouldn't mean they are all already in deep trouble? It's nonsense. Also, Catelyn "Family Duty Honor" Tully would not fault Ned for wanting to save his sister's child. It's a perfectly decent choice on his part and a dilemma she could easily understand. Come on!
How is this (thin glaze) of plausible deniability not equally achieved by simply lying (and lying better than Ned can, especially)?
It's just that Ned left both Cat and Jon deeply anxious and traumatized, respectively, because his decision was to lie very badly and then refuse to answer all reasonable questions. It has repercussions for all of them. From Cat to Sansa to Jon to Robb.
Plus: Ned may have actually had an opportunity to heal from his horrific trauma if he had talked to literally anyone about it. He may have been less likely to cling to Robert as a vestige of his lost youth, blinding himself to the man's monstrous faults and sticking around to his own doom.
It would not have "fixed everything" but you can't convince me it wouldn't have fixed some things.
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Let me use Astarion as an excuse to talk about CPTSD
You know what? I think this might be a good moment to talk about CPTSD and how Astarion really is a textbook example of someone with CPTSD (though it is very likely that basically our entire main cast of characters in BG3 is suffering from it to some degree, they just are less textbook in their presentation).
Let me start with a simple question: What is CPTSD?
CPTSD is the shortened version of Complex PTSD, or rather Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So, to dumb it down: It is like CPTSD, but it sucks a lot more.
While normally PTSD is caused by one traumatic event (like having a car accident, seeing a loved one die, being subjected to random violence at some point), while CPTSD is caused by a traumatic situation that goes on for a while or repeats several times. In the western world, we see a lot of CPTSD in survivors of parental abuse or intimate partner abuse. Aka, traumatic situations that went on for a longer while. You will also find CPTSD in some people from marginalized groups, as the traumatic situation of discrimination is constantly repeating. And of course you will find it in survivors of war or similar ongoing events.
PTSD will often lead to having triggers related to the trauma, showing avoidance behavior towards possibly triggering situations. It might also lead to flashbacks, nightmares, and a raised awareness/carefulness, often especially regarding relations with other people (though this might depend on the traumatic event it stems from).
CPTSD will have all of that, but often in more complex ways (as a longer experience will allow for complex triggers to develop - and a lot more situa´tions to become triggers as well), but it will also lead to a difficulty to regulate emotions, a general mistrust towards other people, inability to have healthy relationships, prolonged moments of dissociations, a generally negative perception of the world and events, feelings of worthlessness and internalized shame.
It should also be noted that in many cases the symptoms of CPTSD only start showing, once the traumatized person is removed from the traumatizing situation.
Neurally the reason for CPTSD is basically, that the nervous system is put into a prolonged survival mode. Which is also why the symptoms often trigger after the survivor is removed trauma inducing situation.
And, oh look, it is Astarion lol
Looking at the character from this perspetive, you really see pretty much all the symptoms in him.
Does he struggle with regulating his emotions? Fuck yeah, he does. He tries to regulate them, but he very often fails at it.
Does he get triggered by some situations? Yeah, it does. (You get that especially when you play his origin.)
He is super mistrustful towards other people - which is also why he does not intermingle with other people that much.
His view of most things as negative is also fairly clear - I also would argue that his "let's kill some puppies and kittens" behavior is also very closely connected to this.
And that he struggles with feelings of worthlessness and shame is again something that is found in the text.
He really is a very textbook example of CPTSD, which also brings me back to what I already talked about this week: Both CPTSD and PTSD will permanently change the nervous system. Which as far as we know will never quite go away. (Like, not to be a nerd, but there has been some recent research, that has shown that certain medication might permanently eleviate some symptoms - but not heal it totally.) It is basically scars from a nervous injury, if you wanna think of it like that.
You can however learn to live with the symptoms and learn techniques to regulate them. If you have read any of my Tavstarion stories (like this one), I bring some of those techniques into that. Stuff like breathing techniques or techniques to get your brain out of a flashback spiral (like consciously perceiving your surroundings). But to learn to deal with it, you also need to confront the trauma, which is probably the hardest thing to get Astarion to do, because he seems to be very avoidant. Like, his entire "I need to ascend" thingie is all avoidant behavior. Basically, he wants all that power that comes with ascending to prevent him from ever ending up in a situation that would be in any way similar to his trauma again.
But even if he does not ascend, there is a good chance he will still show a lot of avoidant behavior in the future.
When I write him, there is a reason that I do not have him leave home for a good seven months outside of what he has to do (like feeding). Which is very typical avoidant behavior.
The thing is that often trauma and especially CPTSD is not always the very big reactions - though those might be there too - but a lot of those more muted things. Avoiding going outside. Avoiding new situations. Being just a bit anxious. Feeling that nice things are done with bad intentions. Things like that.
Just, you know... A heads up.
#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#tav x astarion#astarion x tav#tavstarion#cptsd#cptsd recovery#ptsd#mental health
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Any HCs or scenarios on Yandere Hancock boa ?? I think she an interesting character 🥰
Of course, my dear, she is a fascinating character, in fact, she is my favorite female character after Nico Robin, I am weak to black haired women with cool powers and sad past.
Yandere Boa Hancock headcanons
• Brave of you to assume that she is not a yandere in the canon, that is, she has all the points to follow for her character to be a yandere, especially a delusional yandere
• sad past with traumatic events, no friends, position of power, no one contradicts her, she gets lost in her own fantasies, lives in her own reality and obsesses over a person beyond what is sanely possible, yeah she checks all the marks
• But, she would only become obsessed with her romantic interest if he has a very specific personality (for example, Luffy)
• Ok, let's say that the key for her to fix her eyes on you is that you have heroic tendencies, that is, she likes people with a good heart, willing to do what others would consider crazy in order to help others. the others (such as hitting a Tenryūbito, better yet, killing one)
• or just a very kind person with a great charisma, very positive mind but who doesn't take shit from anyone
• if things happened naturally, I'm pretty sure Hancock would be obsessed with a woman, Luffy is an exception to the rule (call it the power of the script thanks to being the protagonist of the series)
• Let's remember that the first men in her life that she met were the Tenryūbito and they are the worst experiences that a young woman like Boa could have, emotionally, physically and sexually (I'm 200% sure that she was raped by a good number of them, that's why despite being in love with Luffy she never sees herself having children with him… probably she can't even get pregnant due to irreparable damage to her sexual organ or simply they removed the ovaries so that she could not get pregnant by the Tenryūbito since she was a slave and the slaves are not worthy of having a child with a being as noble as a Tenryūbito is)
• Anyway, when she fixes her eyes on you, in her head she already begins to live in a world apart
• You've probably seen each other a maximum of five times and most of it in battles, possibly you saved her from some dangerous situation but not paying much attention to her, but in her head, you two are already engaged
• Yes, she is the type of women who, from a very young age, dreamed of getting married and having a large family full of love, a dream that has been transformed into only having a partner to love and be loved by because of the Tenryūbito and all their shit
• She is a relatively easy yandere to deal with, since the word of her s/o is divine law for her, she will never question you, nor will she go against you, she will not hesitate to put herself in danger or give her life for you, she literally will kill for you
• But, keep in mind, she is very jealous and in an unjustified way, nobody can look at you because she is already asking questions and imagining scenarios where you abandon her.
• Because, despite all that she says about being the most beautiful woman in the world, she actually has low self-esteem due to her past as a slave, she doesn't feel that she is worthy of you, because she is dirty
• But if you tell her that you are not interested in that person or deny knowing about the existence of the person who made her jealous, she will believe you without a shadow of a doubt.
• You can tell her that the sky is green and for her, yes, ultimately the sky is green and she will turn anyone who says otherwise into stone
• She is a stalker, she will follow you everywhere and will always be watching you, of course, at a respectful (Hinata-Naruto style) distance if the two of you get into a relationship, she will stick to you like gum, she is unbelievably clingy and has no idea of the meaning of personal space
• She is one of the few yanderes who have no sexual intentions, because she is traumatized with sex (she has never known about vanilla sex or consent) and considers it torture, she loves you too much to do you any kind of harm
• Oh, but if she were to get over her traumas and discover that sex can be enjoyed and is a way to stay connected to the one she loves, man, get ready for a long ride
#shady answer#one piece#yandere one piece#yandere posts#one piece headcanons#yandere x reader#yandere hancock#yandere boa hancock#yandere boa hancock x reader#one piece imagine#one piece boa hancock#boa hancock
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The bedroom is quiet as Yugi shuffles around, finishing up his night routine before settling down. Atem is already laying in the bed they now shared—the same bed that Yugi used to sleep in alone. It’s small, but it’s big enough for the two of them.
Yugi is taking off his jewelry when Atem speaks up, “Do you mind telling me the story of how you met Baku—I mean, Ryou?”
The question surprises Yugi. He freezes in the middle of removing his cuffs. He continues after a moment, not bothering to look at Atem. He couldn’t see him in the dark room, anyways. He clears his throat and replies, “Well, he transferred to our school in the middle of the semester during tenth grade. It wasn’t long after I solved the puzzle.”
He hears Atem hum in recognition, “Right…”
Slowly, Yugi turns and looks at the corner where he knows Atem resides. He folds his arms and frowns, “Atem, you were there. Don’t you remember?”
“I do,” Atem quickly assures him, “I just wanted to hear the story from you. I suppose I was wondering if there were any details I missed. Everything happened so quickly with him and Bakura.”
Crossing the room, Yugi sighs, “No, nothing else happened. We’ve talked about this before. You haven’t missed anything.”
“There’s no harm in double-checking, now is there?”
Yugi eyes narrow at the slight waver in Atem’s voice, He sits on his side of the bed and stares at the lump next to him, “Atem, what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Atem blurts a little too quickly.
“Atem,” Yugi repeats more sternly.
“Don’t use that tone of voice with me…” Atem grumbles, somehow sinking deeper into the shadows that cast over Yugi’s bed.
Yugi gently pulls at Atem’s shoulder until he turns. Even in the darkness, their eyes meet, and Yugi whispers, “Talk to me…”
“I…” Atem trails off, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip with uncertainty. He sits up and hugs his knees to his chest, mumbling, “My memory… I’m having a harder time remembering things from the past.”
“What do you mean?” Yugi tilts his head in confusion. “Your past or…” He glances away, “…our past?”
Atem’s words are uneven when he admits, “Our past.”
“How so?” Yugi forces out as he does his best to ignore the ache in his heart.
“I can remember everything about who I was back in Egypt thousands of years ago. It’s all there. My memories about what happened during my time within the puzzle—our memories—is becoming foreign to me. It’s blurry,” Atem admits, “and I don’t understand why. It used to be so vivid to me.”
“I want to say that’s normal,” Yugi shrugs, but his body feels paralyzed. He blinks away tears, “especially since memories can get foggy after a few years. You’ve been living here for a while, Atem. It’s just something everyone experiences—“
“Not this!” Atem interrupts him. Yugi’s head whirls around to meet Atem’s face, his eyes widening at the tears streaming down his partner’s cheeks. Atem sniffles and shakes his head in frustration, “This is… Yugi, something’s wrong. I don’t know how to explain it, but this—it doesn’t feel right.”
“Atem…” Yugi breathes out. He isn’t sure what to say to comfort him. He doesn’t know how to figure out what he’s thinking without their mental connection. Reading Atem was so easy, but in this moment, Yugi didn’t have a clue what chaos was brewing in his head—well, he had that much to work with. Chaos. It was always typical of Atem…
Atem slumps, “I’m being irrational, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re not,” Yugi reaches for Atem’s hand and laces their fingers together. “It makes sense. You’ve been pretty distant lately and asking a lot of weird things…”
“I have?”
“You asked me where I was when the whole situation with Dartz was going on a few days ago,” Yugi points out, recalling his discussion with Atem one morning while making breakfast. “You playing the Seal of Orichalcos traumatized you. That’s not something you’ve been able to forget.”
“I didn’t ask that—“ Atem pauses, then stares at Yugi in horror, “—did I?”
Yugi’s heart plummets, and he chokes on a sob, “We need to call Ishizu.”
“Oh, Gods…” Atem murmurs in disbelief.
He clumsily stumbles after Yugi as he leaps out of bed. He continues to hold his hand securely while they rush downstairs to the home phone. His chest is tight, and he feels like he can’t breathe.
Once they reach the phone, Yugi dials Ishizu’s number that he’s memorized from calling her many times after the Ceremonial Duel. It’d been a while since the last time, and both of them assumed it’d be the end of those random phone calls with ridiculous questions that sounded absurd, but only made sense to the three of them.
Atem stops listening and tunes Yugi out as he talks into the receiver. He leans into Yugi’s embrace and rests his head on his shoulder. The tears never stop, and it makes him curl in on himself. He buries his face in the crook of Yugi’s neck and pretends he doesn’t exist.
Atem fears that he’d cease to for much longer.
#this was a random idea that popped into my head#what if atem started losing his memories?#now *that* would be interesting#yugioh#ygo#yugi mutou#atem#puzzleshipping#blindshipping#my writing
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Occasionally the contrast between the woobification of Jason Todd and the demonization of Damian Wayne makes me want to commit acts of untold violence.
Like, two of bruce’s kids have “tried to kill” tim. One spent a decent amount of his life being taught to care for and value others and to serve them, went through an incredibly traumatic experience, came back and decided to go full scorched earth on those he believed wronged him while he was gone. The other was raised in an extremely abusive environment and taught that his only value came from things outside his control and that if he wasn’t superior to everyone then he was inherently inferior. He came to his father’s house at a time of severe upheaval, with little to no experience with any kind of unmixed kindness, and felt the need to secure his position (i.e. make himself safe) by removing a competitor for that security, and later learned that person had a contingency plan to deal with him and retaliated out of fear. One of these guys was in his late teens when he caused grievous bodily injury to a younger opponent who had only enacted symbolic harm of which he (tim) was unaware of having caused. The other was prepubescent when he attacked someone more than half again his age out of a combination of fear and a belief that that was the correct and appropriate way to deal with a competitor for your personal position of security and safety because he was literally taught to kill before losing most of his baby teeth.
Guess who gets justified by the fandom and has dozens or more fics where the entire plot is specifically about tim forgiving him? Spoiler alert: it’s not the literal child from the death cult who’s been abused and manipulated by every single adult in his life until his arrival in Gotham.
Guess who gets portrayed as being somehow inherently evil, even biologically so, and utterly irredeemable no matter what he does? Spoiler alert: it’s not the grown ass man who had a whole villain arc before his public popularity elevated him to anti-hero status.
Edit: added quotation marks around “tried to kill” because somebody said Jason never tried to kill tim and I think what they meant was that he wasn’t approaching the situation with intent to actually murder him, only cause him grievous bodily harm, which i’m too tired after work rn to try to chase down atm. But also because regardless of whether or not Jason attacked tim with homicidal intent, this post is discussing fan interpretation used specifically and prolifically in fanfiction, which does tend to view Jason’s actions as falling under the umbrella of “trying to kill” tim. So. I don’t just want to wholesale remove those words. Perhaps I could simply alter them to say that “two of Bruce’s kids have enacted greivous bodily harm upon Tim intentionally, willfully, and with malice aforethought” but again. Most people just kind of call it “trying to kill tim.” So. Idk
#rick’s originals#rick's rambles#jason todd#damian wayne#damian wayne al ghul#red hood#robin#it just bothers me sometimes#i wouldn’t trust any of these people with a real life ten year old#or a real life thirteen or fifteen year old for that matter#if i use trigger words like telling you that believing in biological evil is racist will that shock you into thinking critically?#but then i suppose i’m only promoting my personal ‘no inherent evil’ dogma#so i don’t know that that’s actually better
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Garak and Psychosis
Very self indulgent little post about instances of Garak displaying behaviors that read to me (or at least can be read) as a symptom of psychosis. I will almost certainly miss some, but I want to compile this together for myself. I completely see Garak as having some kind of psychotic disorder. Most of these examples will come from A Stitch In Time, but we have some from the show as well. Also keep in mind that many of these could be interpreted in a myriad of ways, not just as a psychotic symptom. I’m not claiming any of this is definitive proof or anything of the sort, and Garak’s past as a spy (a profession that by nature demands a lot of paranoia) certainly complicates all of this. That’s not to say this an either-or situation. He can be both psychotic and a former spy and in fact the effect both would have on the other would be quite interesting, as laid out in this post
Again, all of what I say can be interpreted in many different ways, but I just want to have it all written down in one place. Psychosis can manifest in very different ways for different people. Some people might be debilitated by their symptoms, struggling to function without assistance. Others might function just fine most of the time and only experience relatively mild symptoms, though the associated distress isn’t any less important.
Season 6, episode 5 “Favors The Bold”. Garak insists Julian examine him for a some kind of mind reading device put in his head by Starfleet Intelligence. Despite Julian telling him there’s nothing out of the ordinary in his head, Garak doesn’t believe him and insists he keep looking. Came off as a delusion to me, especially since he remains convinced despite evidence proving his delusion false.
Season 4, episode 21 “For the Cause”. Upon meeting Ziyal, Garak becomes convinced that she wants to hurt and kill him. I wouldn’t say her being Dukat’s daughter is enough evidence for the average person to be this worried. In fact, Quark even calls him out on his paranoia and we get this exchange.
GARAK: I was going to cancel. I've had visions of Ziyal presenting my head to her father as a birthday gift.
QUARK: That's a little paranoid, wouldn't you say?
GARAK: Paranoid is what they call people who imagine threats against their life. I have threats against my life.
To be fair, Kira warning him to stay away from Ziyal gets him to calm down a bit, or maybe not because he still seems quite apprehensive when he actually meets Ziyal, still afraid she might want to hurt him.
Now to A Stitch In Time.
Part 1, Chapter 7. As Garak helps Parmak dig people out of the rubble of a bombed Cardassia (highly stressful and traumatic situation), he seems to hallucinate a figure. You could read this as metaphorical, but he reacts to and tries to interact with the figure in the real world, which doesn’t come off as a metaphorical way of describing his despair to me.
“I have never lived with despair, Doctor, the way I live with it now. It's almost like a phantom companion that shadows me and casts doubt on whatever I do.
"Why save him?" it asks, as we remove a young boy from the rubble of a school. "You're only keeping him alive for a future of privation and chaos. Wouldn't it be more satisfying to join the burial unit?"
I want to scream at this phantom, to shut it up. Once I turned around suddenly and raised my hand to strike it. When I realized it wasn't there, it was too late. Everyone in the unit was looking at me; I'm sure I must have looked like a madman.”
After this, Parmak gives Garak some pills. He only calls them “relaxants” so it might be a sedative of some kind, but I’m not sure. Either way, Garak hallucinates again after swallowing the pills, panicking as he sees those Cardassian orphans from the episode “Cardassians”. I doubt the pills are hallucinogens, both because Parmak specifically gave them to Garak after witnessing him hallucinating and is seemingly trying to stop that, and because they speak about the hallucinations like an unintended side effect ("I'm afraid they don't react well with me," I explained. “I understand," he said.)
Certain drugs making psychotic symptoms worse isn’t uncommon.
Part 1, Chapter 6. As Garak and the rest of his group in Bamarren are forced to stand still in the heat for what might be hours as part of a training exercise, he begins to hallucinate multiple figures, including his parents (it’s interesting that one of the figures seems to be Palandine, even though neither we nor Garak have been introduced to her yet). If this were the only instance of Garak hallucinating in the book, I wouldn’t assume he has a psychotic disorder since this example has obvious an explanation outside of a mental health issue. People are known to experience hallucinations when suffering from heat stroke. However I’m putting this example here simply because it’s part of a larger pattern of Garak hallucinating multiple times throughout the book. It’s also interesting to note that this scene happens right before the scene of an adult Garak hallucinating that figure with Parmak.
Part 2, Chapter 18. Garak seems to hallucinate as he looks at the frieze. He sees the frieze move and the people painted on it move as well. He thinks some of the figures are he and Palandine but isn’t sure.
“The frieze now began to move in the upward direction. I was too amazed to ask if this was truly happening. People would disappear at the top while more would enter from below.
Certain faces were recognizable, but I didn't know why. Something was also rising within me, an energy moving up my spine to my head, and I began to feel dizzy. Two of the figures could have been Palandine and me, but I couldn't be sure. I was almost nauseous with the energy surging within me. The figures completed the cycle and disappeared at the top. The frieze stopped moving.”
This one can be interpreted in a more metaphorical way than some of the others, but like I said, it could also be another symptom of this potential psychosis.
I’m sure I’ve missed some examples, but you get my point.
#star trek#ds9#deep space nine#elim garak#garashir#psychosis#schizophrenia#a stitch in time#asit#andrew robinson#meta#media analysis#schizospec#deep space 9
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One of the things that comes up a lot in meta on the vampire chronicles is trying to delineate between "this is being treated as a kink fantasy", "this is fictional trauma beinf sexualized", and "this is being treated like real trauma would be" and I think the interesting and almost unique to itself aspect of TVC is that...it's almost always all of the above.
I've been thinking about David and Lestat's respective turnings lately and what strikes me about both is how they don't really neatly line up into "portrayal of horrific trauma", "rape fantasy", or even "cnc fantasy" (hear me out, we'll get there), but are an uneasy mixture of all of them at the same time.
Disclaimer: I am going to be talking about rape in a fictional story both as a traumatic violence and as a fantasy. I am coming at this from the point of view of someone who enjoys kinks, including nonconsent in fiction, and who is a real life survivor.
Using David's turning because most of the discussion around it is neatly in the same one or two places, we see it treated as all of these things in turn.
Lestat undeniably rapes David. That is not only the implication from blood drinking as a metaphor for sexual desire, but explicitly the language used:
There are scenes of genuine anguish after the assault:
At the same time, the scene is, at least in my opinion, pretty sexualized! We linger in descriptions of David's body, of Lestat's pleasure in this monstrous deed.
And if this was all there was to it, I'd feel pretty comfortable putting this (and the many situations which mirror it in TVC) as a dead dove sort of situation. It's erotic horror, and this is both erotic and horrifying. What else did you expect?
And yet.
Let me make a relevant digression:
Up until 2012, when new research started coming out, the most popular theory for why rape fantasies are so prevalent among women was something called sexual blame avoidance. The idea being that women's sexuality and desires are so shamed by society as a whole that fantasies wherein they are forced allow them a guiltless way of experiencing desire.
This actually appears to not be the case for most people with these fantasies, but it certainly still is for many, and, possibly more relevantly: when these books were written, this would have been The theory on rape fantasies. That rape fantasies are a manifestation of desires that one feels ashamed of, so the fantasy of being forced removes one's agency and thus blame.
And here is David, having been raped by Lestat, saying he really did want it, he just couldn't allow himself to want it.
David had a desire he felt shame for desiring, and Lestat took away that shame by forcibly acting upon it.
It's easy to read this as simply rape apologism, and I can't stop anyone from reading it that way. And I don't and can't really know what Anne was thinking in this or in any number of other scenes that encompass erotica and horror and the comfort of fantasy all at once.
All I can do is say that the first thing I thought of when reading David's speech was how it felt directly lifted from any number of conversations I've had with other survivors on the appeal of cnc scenes. All I know is how I felt reading this and any number of other scenes in this series, which was: oh, finally someone understands what the fantasy is about.
But I think what trips people with that is that these stories aren't "just" short or erotica without weight. These are long stories with character development and emotional weight and real explorations of trauma. And I don't think that's inaccurate! I think they are that. I think these are, at least to me, also long explorations of kink fantasies and how the dynamics of those fantasies, removed from the need for consent and risk awareness of the real world.
Lestat can rape David and it can be something traumatic, something erotic, and something he ended up believing he wanted, because it's not one or the other in this universe. It can be an exporation of cycles of trauma, erotic horror, and long form kink fantasies written with real emotion, all at once. We don't have to choose just one - and I don't think Anne did, either.
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I’m looking for someone who can crack Amy Dallon open for me, and lakesbian thought you might have ideas! Everything about her is so interesting: being a body manipulator who brands herself as a healer, being a kid with the weight of the world on her shoulders, being raised by a woman who resents her, falling in love with her sister because she’s never felt like she belonged to the family. But when I think about the mindrape and the fleshpuddle, I bounce right off. They’re so over-the-top evil actions that I can’t conceive of a theory of mind for a her. So…thoughts about Amy?
to start with thoughts: i like amy. i like her a lot even! probably top 5 characters in worm to me. i think she's probably one of the most homophobic characters ever written and i also think she's incredibly tragic and compelling
to begin with, the first bit of mind control was, for all intents and purposes, an accident. victoria hugs her, amy's overwhelmed, and in the heat of the moment essentially literalizes her desires by making victoria like her. she's instantly remorseful and offers to fix it, but victoria's horrified and runs away. there's a lot of discourse surrounding the degree to which it was or wasn't accidental, but to me, the fact that she Immediately regrets it and that the text describes it as a semi-conscious reaction puts it pretty thoroughly in the camp of 'didn't mean to do this'. imo, if you were to Remove powers from the situation, it would be the equivalent of amy going in for a kiss -- she's overwhelmed and her guard's down from how emotionally bruised and battered she is and she does something rash, only powers make everything worse and more extreme and it turns into that whole clusterfuck instead. so, like, is amy accidentally or mostly accidentally making victoria like her back okay? obviously not, but i do think its an understandable Mistake to make
with the second bout of mindcontrol, its obviously dicier. not accidental, to start with, but while fucked up and wrong, there Is a rationale. amy wants victoria to be okay. victoria might die or be permanently disfigured because of her injuries by crawler. victoria won't let amy heal her because of how disgusted and angry she is at amy. obviously its better that victoria's healed, so amy decides to do what's best for victoria against victoria's wishes. (worth noting that taking it upon yourself to Do What's Best for someone else against their express desire is exactly what victoria did when she hugged amy despite amy's warnings) so amy mind controls her again, harder this time, and convinces herself that she's going to fix victoria's body And Then turn off the love effect. it's fucked up, unjustifiable, and wrong, but i think you can See how amy comes to make that decision, through a combination of a genuine humanitarian argument (victoria needs to be healed or she might be disfigured forever) and self-delusion (i'll not only be able to do this in the state the city's in, but i'll fix victoria's mind when i'm done)
and then there's the time when she turns victoria into a car. years down the line metatextual information and ward confirm it to be an instance of literal, rather than metaphorical, rape on amy's part, but i don't think that was the intention in worm and it's not my preferred interpretation (i think it's an insane idea that wildbow, who with his own words said he wouldn't depict rape in worm more explicitly than what the implications of heartbreaker's power portray, would write it as rape and then spend an insane amount of screen time focusing on amy and her story after that point while continuing to portray her broadly sympathetically). whatever the case though, it's an instance of amy going through with a gross violation of victoria's mental and bodily autonomy. the facts of the in-universe power mechanics remain the same whichever the interpretation -- amy, frazzled and traumatized, couldn't fix victoria anymore, her power not making the correct adjustments to her form.
amy convinced herself that she would spend some time with victoria while she licked her wounds and then remove the mind control and let her go, but she couldn't even fix her back into her old shape. it is an evil act. it's fucked up. but it's not... out of nowhere, you know? it's a culmination of amy's obsession and self-delusion and the lingering mental health crisis that's been hovering over her all book finally coming to a head, making her fall down a rabbit hole of self-justification that says that it's alright that she does this and that because it means she can fix victoria only to end up being wholly unable to fix her At All, and in fact only making victoria Worse
so like. i think amy does fucked up things to varying degrees of culpability and "forgivability", but there's definitely Reasons for why she did them, even if they're fucked up or not very good
by the time we get to ward there's no qualia whatsoever though lol she's just an evil devilspawn
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To the point about Rhaenyra being boring, it continues to elude me why the producers, writers, and directors decided they needed to humanize Rhaenyra by downplaying if not outright removing her worst traits. That’s not humanizing, that’s sanitizing.
There are plenty of female characters that exist in fiction who are frustrating to morally ambiguous, to completely evil but still have their fans and are beloved, or at the very least compelling. The comparisons to Shiv Roy from Succession already exist, so I won’t belabor that point, but look at other shows like Mr. Robot, Better Call Saul, and if anyone really wants to press the button for feminism: The Handmaid’s Tale. Those shows have incredibly well-written female characters that aren’t necessarily paragons.
House of the Dragon choosing to center Rhaenyra as the protagonist as opposed to making her part of a true ensemble a la the original Game of Thrones wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The narrative decision to frame her as heroic (as far as S1 is concerned) is how we get the ‘Protagonist Centered Morality/Unreliable Narrator’ trope that results in plenty of media literate fans that are either neutral or Green-leaning who feel frustrated that there’s not an equal balance between characters.
Perfectly put together, anon. I'm sorry I answered so late. -_-
There's nothing wrong with characters that are written to be good people, but you see, that only works when said character is written consistently and somewhat realistically. Something that the writers completely didn't do in Rhaenyra's case. Are you going to tell me I'm supposed to watch her go through Visenya's traumatic birth, which by the way, happened so quickly after learning that her father was dead, keep her calm, and find it believable?
There is no sense of reason when it comes to grief. None. When someone close to you is gone, you check out. They take a part of your mind away with them and sometimes you don't even realize it. Especially if it's as horrid, as painful and helpless as what Rhaenyra went through. I am not going to sit here and blame the Greens for that baby's death, for all we know of her she had dragon features and was 100% going to die either way. That is digestible for us viewers/readers, who have no connection for a baby mentioned in a few lines.
But Rhaenyra's her mother. And rightfully, when she loses her this way, she goes mad with grief. She wants someone to blame, she cannot cope with the idea that there is no one to blame in this situation, that it would've happened either way. So she blames her enemies, the Greens. She isn't right, but she isn't even sane anymore, she's just had a stillbirth, how can you expect her to think before she speaks?
But the show strips her completely of this anger, and makes her push for peace. Is it possible that not even THAT can make this perfect angel Qween lose her temper like any human would? I understand wanting to rid her of any sin so she looks like a Saint, but really, where's the flaw in being angry and irrational after your stillbirth?
I never liked Rhaenyra as a person but I was looking forward (I'm STILL looking forward lol) to the role she will play as a character, a literary device, a tool to tell a story. I'm not saying I hope they bring out the worst of her this season so more people have reasons to hate women and feel justified for it, but LET HER BE RIGHTFULLY ANGRY. I'M BEGGING YOU.
People will always choose and be more obsessed with the evil but interesting one, not the one who's got more morals. It's already been said in a post I saw not so long ago, but Luke shouldn't be winning polls for best character against OTTO HIGHTOWER of all people because we choose morality in none other than a world like ASOIAF. Please give characters nuance. There's so much potential they got lazy with using timeskips etc. already.
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