#My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too.
Text
One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".
Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.
That's the TL;DR version of this post.
ANYWAY here is the long version
Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".
One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.
Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.
It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.
This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.
People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.
I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.
Anyway if you want to read more:
- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info
-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos
-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.
-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa
- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.
-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge
#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said.#My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too.#This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people#todd in the shadows#hbomberguy#sarasade text#even I've got those “Fandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay men” comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive#when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm#also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this#cw: transphobia
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
content warning: suicide
(i want to preface this by saying that none of this is representative of my current mindset and that i am in a much better place these days)
there are few pieces of media, if any, i've interacted with that have come close to addressing the topic of suicidal ideation more accurately than disco elysium.
it's a strange sort of state to occupy, because the truth is that more often than not it is incredibly mundane. there are fits, yes. there are times at which things seem nigh unbearable because you are trapped inside the ordeal of being you, existing as you, continuing as you-- and that is the worst part, truly. realizing that there is no escape from the purgatory of your own id. very much the embodiment of harry drunkenly screaming "I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS KIND OF ANIMAL ANYMORE" and bellowing like a "wounded boar" as he trashes his hotel room.
not "this type of person". "this type of animal". like recognizing your own sickness as a kind of genus and species that you have been condemned to. taxonomy is strict and absolute. you don't want to be this kind of animal anymore. and though you comprehend logically that you're not just an animal-- you're a human, and thus have the capacity to heal or regress or otherwise transmute yourself from the baseness you perceive in yourself-- it is often difficult to see yourself as anything other than a lashing, ugly beast that knows no divergent nature.
yes. there are moments of intense emotion. cinematic scenes in which you feel as though you can't control yourself and often find yourself alienating or terrifying the people closest to you. but the bulk of suicidal ideation is more a whisper than a shout.
it's just constantly there. harry opens the compartment in his ledger and finds the old postcard, and the words appear in his head casual as any passing thought: "fucking kill yourself asshole". he talks to someone-- anyone, really: you can muse to a pawn shop owner, who has no idea how to respond, that you probably should have killed yourself by now. you can tell a pair of four year old twins that suicide is in fact, ok, and that it's likely in your future. it's always so offhand. it's always wildly inappropriate, but when you get to a certain point, that begins to matter less and less.
there are thoughts that you can internalize in this game for point buffs and perks. some of them have drawbacks, like lowered logic, conceptualization, etc. the thoughts revolve around a variety of topics, including communism, cryptids, your ex wife, inexplicable feminist agendas, etc.
there is a thought called: finger on the eject button. here’s the text that pops up when you begin internalizing it:
Who doesn't toy with the thought of suicide sometimes? Or, like, most of the time? Okay, maybe some people don't – like the happy scientist girl named Marie, or Jean-Marc, the superstar whom everyone loves. But you -- when the going gets rough, it's nice to think about your little trap door out of here. Do it. Put your finger on the eject button, see how alive it makes you feel -- the freedom of finality. Think of how much they'll *miss* you.
and here's the text that pops up when you finish internalizing it:
Looks like you thought about how much they'll *miss* you and the freedom of finality for too long, and now you've decided to actually kill yourself. The train leaves the station every evening, 21:00. Make sure you have a gun and bullets. That's how macho servicemen do it. Also – turns out *Finger On The Eject Button* is pretty much your theme song. A headbanger from your teenage years and your wedding ballad. This is not the first time you're spinning the tape.
after you internalize this thought, you don't get any perks or cool features or detractors. instead, you are presented every night with a suicidal thought before you go to sleep.
the text for the thought and the ensuing consequence are so accurate to how it really feels that when i found this option i had to turn the game off for a little while. because it captures it painfully well. the element of spite and self-righteousness. the vague blueprints of how you might do it. the constant drumming of it in your head, persistent as raindrops on the roof of a car.
the terrifying comfort that when the going gets bad... you can just go.
it's possible to kill yourself in this game, if you hit a particular scenario and fail certain checks. you're given the option to put a gun in your mouth while standing in a cafeteria of incredulous onlookers, and when you do so it is an action completely formed by impulse. it's not prefaced by a long train of suicidal thoughts or any kind of prologue. just. there's an opportunity to bite the barrel. so you do it. you taste the tang of metal on your tongue and you hear the spring creak-- and you can pull the trigger. the game over screen pops up. congratulations. you finally did it. your reward is nothing.
i was in a bad state when i played disco elysium for the first time. playing it felt like smashing myself into a glass slide and slotting myself under a dissection scope. there i was, transparent as an amoeba with all its pulsing organelles visible and open to scrutiny. therein lie the mechanisms that i could not perceive as they ticked in myself.
#not sure if this is all that coherent but i wanted to jot it down bc this part of the game really affected me#anyway... uh... good game. highly recommend it#disco elysium#my writing
276 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hihi it’s Rexie again!!
I hope you don’t mind another ask but the last response was really helpful so I thought it’s worth a shot to see if you have advice?
I’m an 8 year old syskid but I really wanna know what it’s like to be tiny. I’ve tried regressing before but I can never seem to quite do it… since I’m a fictive that comes from a world that’s very different a lot of the things that make regressors nostalgic and small don’t do anything for me at best and at worst feel unfamiliar or uncomfy. But every time I ask for advice I’m told to color or do “anything you did when you were little!” from people who don’t understand I can’t do that. There’s a couple baby things I like but not many and they don’t make me regress.
My cg is really good at looking after us syskids but doesn’t have much experience with regressors so xe’s not sure how to help
So I guess I’m wondering do you have any advice for how to regress that doesn’t involve “classic” agere things?
It’s ok if not I just figured it’s worth asking!!
-Rexie
hello again, Rexie! i’m so glad it was helpful! :] this question is a little trickier for me to answer i think, but i do have a few ideas for you.
• first off, i would try to think outside the box to find some things that help you feel safe and/or small. it doesn’t need to be “baby” items, or child-related at all! and sometimes the best way to relax is to change up your area a bit. for instance, you could try to find textures, smells, sounds, lighting, food, clothes, or music that feel familiar and comforting — or just plain soothing even if they’re not familiar!
when i regress i try to create an environment that feels cozy and safe to me, but since you don’t have attachments to more “typical” childhood items, it might take some experimenting to find things that create that space for you! don’t worry about fitting in with any aesthetic or age range, just do what feels right for you.
• another thing that i think might be helpful is to focus on what the benefit of regression is (of course, there’s lots of reasons and ways people regress, so this is just my experience!). to me, regression is often about wanting to feel safe and vulnerable and comfortable to freely express your needs, emotions, curiosity, and interests. even if you can’t get yourself to feel tiny, you might be able to do some things that help you fulfill those wants.
for example, when you’d like to regress, try to express your emotions and feelings more honestly (even if it’s just to a journal or stuffed animal friend!). or if you can, ask someone for help when you’d usually hesitate to. surround yourself with things that remind you that you’re safe and loved! another thing i do sometimes is to spend some time dedicated to your interests, even ones that seem “too childish” or silly.
and maybe you want to regress for a different reason than what i’ve mentioned! just try to think about that reason and find ways to work on it in your day-to-day life. that way, even if you can’t regress, you’re still taking care of yourself in a way that gives you some of the same benefits as regression would! it’s a lot like age dreaming, except you’re not doing baby activities or using baby items unless they’re helpful to you. :]
• i don’t have much else that i can think of to add, and i’m sorry this got a bit long and wordy :P but i guess my last point is this — age regression is a great coping mechanism, and it can be a lot of fun, but it isn’t the only one! there are lots of ways to help yourself feel safe and comfy and to have fun or to vent, and you can always do those things whether you regress or not. so try not to be too hard on yourself if something doesn’t work for you, and just keep trying out new ideas and being kind to your body and mind, ok? :]
best of luck, Rexie! let me know how it goes, if you’d like! 💛
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thank you so much for answering my asks! You're making really good points and if you don't mind I'd like to expand on something you said in your reply, the part about some people getting angry at fans that like or enjoy villains: I think part of what plays into this -besides as you pointed out the people that make these complaints seemingly not understanding that villains are characters and narrative devices, not real humans, and that the people who like them like them for their entertainment value, because they fulfill their role in the story well or because they're simply well written and not because they want to be friends with people like that irl- is that some of them seem to think that people empathizing with the villains or people wanting the rogues to reform are overlooking their villainy and awfulness or -even worse- think that the horrible things the villains do are actually morally ok. which -and this goes without saying- of course is not the case. well, except maybe for those fans that like to woobify villains to a point where they're not even recognizable anymore and might as well be OCs. Generally speaking though fans that want the villains to reform do so because that's what the narrative suggests they should, because that's what Batman -at least if the writers understand the core of the character- wants, too. Readers that want the rogues to have moral complexity or a narrative arc that might end in reform (or at least lead to a point where reform seems truly achievable) aren't naive, they don't just want that because they're attracted to these fictional characters or whatever, it's because the idea of even the seemingly worst people having the ability to change and thus deserving a second chance that they wouldn't get if the hero simply killed them is a core part of Batman as a character. Similarly of course readers that do want them to occasionally commit truly villainous acts aren't awful people that only crave violence irl either, they're people that recognize that villains sometimes do have to commit crimes bad enough for a hero to intervene or else the story would end, just like you said. Villains should be complex characters, just like any other, whose variations can and should change depending on their spot in their respective narratives. A villain might reform and become a good or at least decent person just as likely as they might regress and become a horrible monster, and both options are good if they're well written! it all depends on what makes for the most interesting narrative.
Ive also seen your tags about people having similar complaints about heroes too - complaining about them being flawed characters or being 'mean' sometimes- and if you don't mind to elaborate on that it would be great to hear your thoughts! (as would be hearing your thoughts on that podcast, should you ever listen to it! it's got a very humanizing take on the rogues -at least on the five or so that appear- where all of the rogues that show up in the story are presented as not just perpetrators -although of course it's made clear that none of them are good people and are capable of truly awful things (including riddler btw who, yes, is very likable in this and is set up for a reform arc but also comes across as someone that could be a genuinely scary threat should he want to be)- but also as victims - of domestic violence, police brutality, horrible (medical) mistreatment, what have you. and i do mean all of the appearing rogues, even the ones that appear only for a minute or so get a humanizing trait or moment showing they're not just pure selfish evil, but complex characters with a capability for compassion or betterment. Whereas the true villains of the story, the ones that don't show any positive traits at all, are systemic evils/people that hold systemic power, like the cops or some other characters that I won't go more in depth on since that would be a spoiler. it's an interesting and very compassionate take on all these classic characters -including Bruce himself- and I'm going off on a tangent here but if you do decide to listen to it it would be cool to hear your opinions on it's handling of,well, anything really)
Thanks again for replying!
hey, sorry for taking so long to answer this!! i've been preoccupied the past few weeks. these are the previous asks for anyone who doesn’t know
and thank you, i'm glad you found my response interesting! i love your deeper explanation here on fan reactions to villains - why there can be a negative reaction to liking villains, or redeeming villains, and on the other hand why a lot of fans do enjoy villains or might want to see them reform (or at least humanized rather than portrayed as monsters). enjoying villains or being interested in the possibility of one turning over a new leaf doesn’t have to mean mean excusing/ignoring their bad deeds, though ofc there are fans who do that
elaborating on what i mentioned in the tags, i was mostly thinking about how fans can often be very uncharitable towards certain characters and more specifically towards female characters + characters of color. this isn’t a batman or comics example but one of the more egregious cases i can think of comes from the gravity falls fandom, and the way some fans treated the character mabel. fandom could be vicious towards her for having realistic flaws and making mistakes (that she ultimately learns from) while fawning over the villain and actual grown men who also have glaring flaws.
or another example: katara from avatar the last airbender. she’s one of the most interesting and complex characters in the show imo, and i’ve seen some truly mind boggling complaints lobbed her way that basically amount to annoyance at her for being a complicated character, showing anger, being emotional, lashing out, etc. what makes this kind of thing even more frustrating is that when white male characters display these same traits they are usually adored. unfortunately with female characters and characters of color, there often is no winning. no matter what a lot of fans will look for any excuse to either ignore or demonize them.
anyway, thank you for the asks! i enjoyed your reading your thoughts. sorry again for taking awhile to answer this one.
#part of the reason i put off answering this ask was bc i was hoping to start listening to batman unburied#and type out a longer response with some of my thoughts#but i havent gotten around to starting it yet orz#im sure its something id enjoy#and i like the sound of it tackling systemic evils as the true villains
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Diary of a Horror Buff 8/4/22
So today was a kinda annoying day at work. There going to the coast for an event and for reasons that I don’t really want to get on here I’m staying home. I Basically worked a 6 hour that could have been a lot shorter if there was more planning. Through that being said I need the money so whatevs.
I made plans to drop off the SUV at the mechanics since I have this thing called a misfiring cylinder I’m just glad to not be driving all the way out in the valley for work rn.
anyway like I said technically short films are NOT ALLOWED. But fuck the rules I do what I want. Now I don’t know how many Crypt TV Shorts are on Letterboxd but I found a list with fifty of them so thats at least a good place to start. Maybe sometime I will create a list that lists all of them but I still haven’t finished my big joel list so fuck it.
and before you ask there is a surprising amount of gifs that very inappropriate when I typed in “fuck it”. Whores(affectionate)
ok lets get into it.
youtube
7 Rules CRYPT TV dir. Mike Castro
Ok so rather aprepo I’m breaking a rule by having this on here. another one of the rules is you can’t have any rewatches and I have seen this before BUT.
<Valley Girl Voice>It was like before I even had a Letterboxd account so I never recorded it so it like doesn’t even count.
This was the only thing that popped up when I searched “Thats on Periodt”
OK so if you are like me and have read creepy pastas, (and before you ask no I have never had a Creepy OC because I am perfect, and wholesome, and ABOVE CRINGE.) you might be formaler with a Format? Trope? Genre? of story that is essential a list of rules. Its basically a natural progression of the Ritual Creepy Pasta but with some FNAF flavor. Random Person takes a job to be a security guard, graveyard shift, hospice nurse, Etc. and they get a note that says heres the list of rules that you have to follow to the letter.....
and most of these stories are a bit much. theres too many there hyper specific, and theres no way any normal person would be able to do have of the things that are asked of them. That being said its kinda missing the point. the really good ones, (take that with a grain of salt), lead the story through implication, they tell the story through the hidden details in the story. Like all good horror its not about waving the flashlight around the basement. Its the feeling that theres something just outside the safety of the beam. You want to see nothing but you feel that you won’t be safe till you see something.
Basically 7 rules is a more realistic version of that. a woman is house sitting for the weekend and gets a note with 7 RULES OMG JUST LIKE THE TITLE>. she does not follow them bad things happen. I actually really liked it. It was fun, it had this really great sense of humor to it, and I also like the fact that it had this very Internet horror root or at least something I recognise as coming from that branch of horror fiction. Overall worth a watch.
vimeo
Antoni Psycho (2018) CRYPT TV dir. Antoni Porowski????
OK so as far as I can tell this is a 2 minute short in which Antoni Porowski, who is in some show called queer eye for the straight guy, parodies the opening scene from American Psycho which is another film I have not watched.
Honestly this doesn’t do it for me. mostly cause I’ve never really cared about the subject matter and also I don’t really like Queer Eye? Like happy it exists and people enjoy it but for the whole idea of fabulous queens helping some poor smuck become a metrosexual just feels really regressive. It creates this false dicotomy that the culteral performance of queerness and straighness are strictly defined. Straight men are gross slobs who are too stupid and toxic to use conditioner and gay men are hyper feminine metrosexuals who are always FABULOUS.
and as a queer man I don’t identity with either of those notions. As a man who has been stigmatized for my self-expression it took me years to unlearn all the toxic ideas I had about my own body and clothing choices. Now I can enjoy things like wearing makeup and thigh highs BUT I also don’t feel the pressure to NOT present traditional masculine. I honestly really enjoy a hoodie and joggers sometimes even if it feels like camp straightness.
the whole premise of the show implies these notions that there is a certain presentation of queerness or straightness that is normitive and I think its really belittling to accept that. I think its wrong to tell straight men that there gross slobs and I dislike the overrepresentation of the Nance charater because it tells me as a queer person that I have to perform this level of expression.
Much in the same way that Patrick Batemen feels that he has to want and perform the social functions that society dictates.
Boom got it.
youtube
Bath Bomb CRYPT TV dir. Matt McWilliams.
Ok I honestly don’t have much to say about this. Essentially a short were a women takes a bath and uh no body horror. I enjoyed the atmosphere the shots and as a short film this type of taster is just lovely. Its the flash fiction of cinema.
youtube
Be Mine CRYPT TV dir. Joe Russo
This one is just a short fun valentines day themed horror flick. Don’t know what else to tell you.
Anyway peeps that was my daily post for short horror films. Not sure if I’m gonna watch a movie tonight but if I do I’ll keep you posted.
0 notes
Note
do u talk to ppl every day? i feel so abnormal and lonely bc i dont. literally apart from this ask im sending u rn i talk to no one ever. i dont even have a phone so. i have no one in my life its like ? wow. its been like this for years. i feel like im not even in my own life
no i don't :( apart from family because i live with them but even then sometimes we just dont talk at all. to be fair im really introverted and hate talking to ppl every day but i get what you mean. i hear you and i have a few conflicting thoughts about it. i don't think it's abnormal per se, i think going through periods of isolation especially during your teens/twenties is very normal in fact. it's fucking hard to find friends and even harder to find Your people. like i wish it was talked about more because im pretty convinced theres just an unfathomable amount of us living like this, like little islands. and it's very hard not to internalize this as something being wrong with you, especially because love and friendship seems to find others so easily? idk why it doesn't for me. but i don't think theres much credence to the idea that we're alone because we deserve to be or any of that other self loathing crap. ofc that doesn't stop me spiraling into that belief pretty much daily - but i have to admit it never does anything to help my situation so. im trying to be sad and proactive ssimultaneously. at the same time, i wanted to say that it's very natural to crave these connections nonetheless and it's ok to be upset about it. i think theres a common belief these days that you can self love your way out of anything and that we dont owe each other shit but, humans are social creatures and it's alright to need others. i really relate to you saying you feel like youre not even in your own life because of it, too. i didn't develop a sense of self because i had no support system or people around me and now i think i'll drift forever, too. it's hard to know who you are when you have nobody to tell you what you're not. when you have no one to share tangible experiences and memories with. im out of practice at being a friend and a person other people want to know. it's hard and i honestly understand the loneliness.
do you think there are any small steps you can work towards that would make this feel a little less heavy? is getting a phone something you can consider, looking into groups and clubs in your community, even online? (discord, tiktok, this blue app, even fb groups have been a source of support for me in regards to grieving.) ultimately think of what interests you or what you've always wanted to get into and then try to seek that community out. even just mental health support groups can be a godsend. its way easier said than done and the process may be slow and non linear but, honestly every small effort counts. i took a few singing lessons on zoom in the lockdown and being able to talk to someone over a shared hobby was just nice and not as awkward as i was expecting and it took a lot to do it but i did. probably couldn't now as ive regressed lol but it is what it is. if that feels like too much rn i totally get it though. you could even just drop me a message if you like. i'd love to be friends 💗 anyway sorry this got long i just am in the same boat so i could talk ab it forever but my point is i genuinely don't think you're abnormal. you're just having a hard time and i don't blame you at all. no one tells you where to find friends as an adult. my inbox is truly always open, i really hope youre able to find the connections that you deserve soon. im rooting for you and sending so much love. one day at a time ok x
31 notes
·
View notes
Note
(im gonna be sending a few seperate asks since theyre seperate thoughts/ideas, sorry for any sort of inbox spam!!) ur pet regressor tommy fic led me into a whole wormhole of many different ideas.. esp abt who else is a pet regressor!!
- wilbur (cat regressor!! also very relaxed, he *will* just sleep on phil or techno's lap for hours on end. mostly nonverbal, but will meow every now nd again. mostly communicates through actions. he can purr. doesn't drop often, but when he does, it's due to extreme stress- meaning he can be pretty sensitive while he's in catspace.)
- tubbo (puppy regressor, but definitely more of a relaxed dog aside from the amnt he communicates, especially through barking, whimpering, and soft "awooo!!"'s. loves snuggles. sometimes, he's scared to come of as annoying, so he's hesitant to slip into pupspace, normally needing someone to help him along and tell him that it's ok for him to be a puppy, nd that he's a very very good boy.)
- karl (kitten regressor!!!! he's either really sleepy or really playful/energetic, and he has no in between on that. he meows.. so much.. all he kno is meow meow!! *very* sensitive while dropped, and as such, he needs a lot of validation and love. will get extremely upset with himself if he notices that anyone is even *slightly* mad/irritated by him.)
- nick (sapnap) (PUPPY REGRESSOR 100000%!!! he's very very loud and extremely playful!!! he can be entertained for *hours* w literally anything, especially toys like chew bones. doesn't really drop too often, but when he does, he drops very very far. something that can trigger his drops is when people compare his traits/actions to those of a dog because he just goes yes!! yes me!!!! dog!!! me!!!! also he loves karl *so* much because karl absolutely spoils him rotten when he's in pupspace.)
- ranboo (kitty regressor!! similar to karl, he can be really sensitive while he's dropped. entirely nonverbal, opting for actions instead. he's a mix of both playful and sleepy. when he sleeps, he curls his entire body up into a circle nd kneads at whatever he's sleeping on until he falls asleep.)
- dream (cat regressor!! sleeps a lot when he's dropped, hes just vv tired. mimics patches, and loves to follow her around/act like she does. even bases his catgear around patches, with tabby-colored cat ears and an outfit based off of similar colors. drops very easily, mostly voluntarily.)
those r the ones i can think of now.. id love to know ypur opinions/interpretations of them!! -🌻
OKAY I’M GONNA GO THROUGH THESE ONE BY ONE, AND SHARE MY THOUGHTS+OTHER POSSIBLE HCS/FIC SCENARIOS, SO LONG POST WARNING Y’ALL
1. Cat Regressor! Wilbur
yes yes yes, I wouldn’t of thought of it myself but the idea is absolutely adorable! I’d totally write that, with like handler/cg!niki in addition to those you listed. And the idea of him using it for stress and therefore being sensitive in catspace? like, that’s amazing.
I could imagine a fic where someone pushes him to regress for fun for once, but he feels like it’s stupid to purposely act like a cat when he doesn’t need it? They don’t pressure him, or anything, but he ends up slipping because he feels safe. and he realizes not only does it help with stress, but it just makes him more happy!
also imagine him slipping around tommy for whatever reason, and just wanting to sleep while Tommy’s trying to do something fun. So he’s dragging around a sleepy kitten and waking him up every two seconds, and it’s really soft and adorable and ends up with Wilbur sleeping somewhat on Tommy so that he can’t get up and he’s like ‘you’re so lucky I love you, dude.’ awww I need to write a fic- no promises but y’know
2.Puppy Regressor!Tubbo
someone actually requested a puppy regressors!tubbo and tommy fic that I’m having trouble writing, like it sounds cute but it’s kinda hard bc I’ve never written puppyspace before. I actually decided to start over but I’ma keep trying on that.
anyways, imagine like, Ranboo or Tommy helping him slip over a discord call! Needing help to regress is something that I understand (I age regress, but I haven’t in a while due to this issue), so I could probably write Tubbo in that position well. Needing to be coaxed and told that it’s okay to be a cute lil puppy, like that’s adorable!
3. Kitten Regressor!Karl
tbh I tried to write kitten!karl but I was half asleep and gave up, I need to get back to that hjsiksja. Like I specialize in writing sensitive regressors w/anxiety over someone being mad at them, so I could definitely pull this off.
and the idea of him being a talkative kitty is sooo cute! Like I can imagine something along the lines of this conversation between him and a handler/cg:
“What do you want?”
“Meowww”
“I don’t know what that means!”
“Meow?” (little head tilt and innocent cute eyes)
“Do you want cuddles?”
*excited meows! and he goes and cuddles up in their lap bc yay, they understood him!*
and imagine kitten!karl playing w/Quackity! very very adorable concept
4. Puppy Regressor! Sapnap
okay okay so I don’t watch sapnap really but this is still adorable! Like the whole ‘me, puppy? yes.’ thing is soooo cute! Imagine George or Dream just forgetting that’s a trigger and making a joke about how one of his mannerisms reminds them of a puppy and suddenly! There’s a puppy to take care of!
and karl spoiling him sounds like something he’d do hjsiksjsa. I can’t really add much on here bc idk much about him/his content past the smp but this is so cute! Maybe I’ll watch a few of his videos and attempt writing him bc I keep getting requests for him
5. Kitten Regressor! Ranboo
yes, I was already thinking about this tbh! Like I’ve written him as a little and it’s kinda similar, he’s sensitive, and he’s less verbal the littler he gets. As a kitten, I can easily picture him just being quiet.
I imagine that he’s really pouty because of this, because he doesn’t know how to communicate otherwise, so this might confuse anyone who may take care of him.
“Why are you pouting? Do you want cuddles? Food? Do you wanna play?”
and he just doesn’t reply bc he’s a kitten and he can’t talk so it’s an endless cycle of guess and check until they reach the right answer, and it’s really funny to watch. I can also imagine that he giggles a lot. Like he’s not verbal or anything, and he doesn’t giggle a lot but sometimes it happens! and if you make him giggle while in kittenspace then you did something right!
it makes everyone happy when he giggles and it’s really soft and cute! I definitely think I’ll write a fic with kitten!ranboo in it, at some point eventually, I think!
6. Cat Regressor! Dream
awwwww- I didn’t even consider the possibility of this but awwww. Imagine Wilbur and Dream in catspace together, just sleeping and cuddling while basically all the other kittens are playing and being hyper. And everyone’s trying to get them to play but they’re sleepy! (ofc they end up playing anyways bc their friends are adorable and convincing but y’know)
and I really like the idea of him mimicking patches! I’ve seen a few pet regresors say that they mimick/copy their pets so it kinda feels realistic and likely! and plus, it’s really cute.
and since his regression is voluntary, I can imagine him like one minute, just chillin w/george and sapnap and going ‘what if- what if I just went *cat mode*’ and he tries to hint to his friends that he wants to slip but they’re not getting it so it’s kinda frustrating for him but funny for the readers to see play out bc George and Sapnap are being completely oblivious to everything. Hjsiksja that’d be funny
Thank you for sending this it, like seriously! It was really fun to go through and talk about these, I might make additional headcannon lists once I’m actually awake tomorrow bc I shouldn’t be up rn but yeah, I just wanted to go through and respond to this! <3
#dsmp#dream smp#minecraft#mcyt#wilbur soot#tubbo#karl jacobs#mrbeast#sapnap#ranboo#dream#pet regression#petre#cat regression#kittenspace#kitten regression#puppy regression#puppyspace#dream smp agere#dream smp petre
122 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! can i request riddle, ace, epel, deuce, and floyd finding out their male s/o is an age regressor to cope with stress? pls make it fluffy!! (also it's ok if you can't do my request !! /genuine)
Despite this being so long in my inbox for so long, I'm actually pretty excited to do this one, anonnie! However, this is a shorter since I don't fully know about age regressing, sorry about that! ಥ_ಥ
Triggers: none
Riddle, Ace, Epel, Deuce and Floyd discovering their male s/o is an age regressor
He was always the one who gets stressed out from his dorm members so you're probably the one that needs to comfort him if anything but it doesn't mean he doesn't know how to comfort you as well.
But that doesn't mean he automatically knows what to do when he's finds this information about you, though. He has learned several things throughout his garbage childhood but age regression is not one of it.
When Trey said it's been days since you looked drained and tired from what he presumely was because of you studying for the final exam and just prefect duties in general. This got him worried because you're his lover and obviously he doesn't want to see you worried.
When he did check up with you, he was loss for words. There were coloring books everywhere and then there's you connecting dots to finish the drawing of the book.
This is probably the times you are really stressed and of course he wants to help at all cost but he really doesn't know what to do. Of course, with your little explanation, everything gets a little bit easier to handle.
He didn't really have a good parent role models and the only thing that his mother did to him was celebrating his birthdays and sometimes act nice. He's not gonna act like that of course but he might accidentally project what his mother has done to you and if he did, he will be on his knees and apologize.
He'll do research's about things he should do with children/toddler/infant around your age. He wants you to feel fully comfortable on age regressing around him, this could also help him with parenting if you two would ever consider adopting or so.
Dating Ace won't save you from all the chaos and disasters from this school and he DEFINITELY won't stop from causing any trouble and stressing you out unintentionally.
To be honest, you're a whole different breed of alien if you don't get stressed out at the slightest by your boyfriend and friend's shenanigans. Not only do you have to deal with daily disarray but you also have prefect duties to be doing thanks to that deatbead of a principal.
You always run up to the dorm as soon as you had finish your tasks from headmaster. At the first few times you did it he didn't really give one. You probably want to sleep since it's just tiring but as more day passes by, Ace gets more pissed. You have been lessening your time with him and barely even check your phone.
He gets it, you're tired and all but he's a selfish bastard and wants your love 24/7. So when you kept ending your calls with him very early and he HAD it. So when he barged in to your room, my man went stiff. You were just in the middle of playing with some toys until he interrupted your little session.
"Uh, what are you doing?"
Just by telling him you're age regressing, he already knows what's up and what to do for some reason. He be sprinting to Sam's shop, not caring the weird looks he's getting from buying all these children/toddler type stuff. Does he care? HELL NO! You're his top priority at the current moment and this might be some way to spend time, no?
He'll dote and spoil you to bits. You're so cute, there's no way he could ever say no to your little self! Cuddles? Of course! New toys? Definitely! Headpats? Say no more! He'll love you and treat you like the lovely prince.
He sometimes accidentally forget that you can change to your big self and you'll have to remind him. He once treated you like a baby when you're in your bedroom, thinking you are still in your little self. It was awkward and he wished and beg for you to not speak about it ever again.
He was probably forced to take care of a baby in his hometown back then. Though, this doesn't mean he's automatically good at taking care of kids. If anything, he's horrible at it. He hadn't learned much from that babysitting experience.
Now, when he discovered that you age regress, those terrible memories of the baby crying up a storm comes back but this is potentially a time for him to enhance his babysitting skills, maybe? He freaking hopes so, he doesn't want to be a lost cause.
He's the one that always gets stressed and always in the lowest from the VDC practice. The burden that Vil keeps throwing on him makes him so worked up, he doesn't even see you getting also a tiny bit stressed from both manager duties and just watching others getting pressured in general.
You've been holding it back for awhile to turn to your little self in worries of getting caught. He finally notices when Ace asked if you're ok because you seemed like you're struggling with something. He got super suspicious when you kept brushing him off.
He thinks that you're just uncomfortable to talk about in public or it's something so private that even talking about it to your friends is a no-no. So when you're in your bedroom, he'll pester about you to spill the beans.
So when you did and explained to him what age regressing, he just let out a simple "oh". He doesn't know what to do other than asking questions on what you like to do. Please be straightforward with your answer because he's garbage at reading hearts and also just looks tragic when taking care of people younger than him.
He forces you that you're going to be little but in little and have to lock the door if you do because you need to let the stress go. He will also ask you if you're little subtly if your signs of being little is not as obvious.
He will learn how to take care of you and buy the things you like by looking at the things you already have or have a lot of quantity. He's not the best at taking care but he's getting better so give him a clap for that.
No little kid in their right mind would approach him when he's in his middle school days, meaning that he has have not a single interaction with a kid that could be remembered. If anything, they'll run the second he tries to even approach them. Sure, he now has experience with talking to kids but it's so painfully awkward it hurts your soul.
He knows what little space is but only the meaning of it and nothing else. He thought that people only do this because they want to literally go back to old memories which is partly true but that's not enough. You must educate this fool.
Just like Ace, you're not safe from the disasters of the school and your own boyfriend's idiocy. Him being less smart than Ace doesn't help it either. You're the god of patience if you can handle all of the messes both you, your friends and boyfriend have caused. Also again, you're something else if you can handle all the prefect duties from Crowley because he sucks.
You usually have study sessions with him so you can help him get better at history and other subject he sucks at and this could also help you memorise and learn new things as well. Though, you're have been either showing up late or keep coming up with excuses when you just don't attend at all. He's getting really impatient but doesn't want to sound like an asshole so he just deals with it.
You got caught for being little while in call without realizing. He swear he thought he can speak baby/toddler language when he spoke to you when you're still immersed in your little toys.
He ran to your room in Usain Bolt pace to your place, worried sick for you. You were finally back to your original state and explain the situation to avoid any stupid conclusions that he possibly can come up with. He was shocked when he found out this is a way to cope with stress. He asked will it help him too and if he should do it, are you against it or are you all up for it? Your choice.
He googled about how to deal with you when you're little and it miraculously help! Kinda. I mean, he knows what things to but for you and how to kinda get along with your activities. How to dote and actually treat you like your younger self? Eh...not so much but just like Epel, he's learning but not as fast as the purple haired boy. Still, praise him for putting this much effort!
It's known that he's spectacular with kids. Despite his intimidating height, he knows exactly what do without even making a single kid quiver in fear. He's way more experienced than anyone here and knows how to deal with age regressing people without himself even knowing it.
He does know what age regressing fully is just like Ace. Just say the word and he's lock and loaded with bunch of children activities that you two could do. He makes sure he brings the "fun" ones only according to his taste.
Being the manager for the VDC competition is such a burden, you knew it will be stressful but NOT this bad. From listening to others' worries to knowing the fact that there's nothing you can do at all about Vil's strictness. Watching others being in dilemmas while you're forced to sit back, watching your friends and peers at the lowest shatters your heart.
You feel absolutely useless and you hate it and telling your boyfriend about your problems won't help that much either. If anything, you don't want to annoy Floyd by seeing you in such a downer state so what's the best option? Don't spend too much time to the point of showing your problems until VDC is over! Definitely a good horrendous idea.
You didn't really think this through when he gets annoyed that you're being non-commital and looks like you really want to get out of here. He'll let it slide for a bit, thinking you're not in the mood like him sometimes but when it keeps happening consistently, he's had enough. He wants answers asap.
You should've expected him questioning and being unable to hide things from him. Since you know it's technically useless to hide things from him at this point. Might as well tell the whole thing, in a private place of course. There's no way you can let anyone else hear your little secret.
The only thing he asked is to confirm that you're age regressing. Once you say yes, he immediately goes down to business. You want that dino toy? Purchased. You don't know which playdough set you want? Out of stock. You want a kids meal type of food? All ready and served. He's really doing all this for you and wants to spoil you rotten. In exchange for cuddles and some praises of course!
Like I said before, he doesn't want your activities while being little to be quitet and dull. So he bought every single game that suitable at your little self's age and very fun for him. Get ready, because you're going to have a bomb of a time with him!
You could potentially be taller than him but he's going to pick you up and doing little circles like you're an actual baby. He'll coo you and everything, he makes the experience like you're actually back in childhood which is an amazing job.
Since there's people in your dorm thanks to the boot camp and he really wants you to be fully and all, he's going to let you be in his room so you can be his little self. Ain't no way some dumb boot camp will stop you from having a fun time with Floyd!
Can you tell that I got a sudden energy boost when writing Floyd's part? Lol~
-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎
#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#twst writing#twst fluff#twst riddle#riddle rosehearts#riddle x reader#twst ace#ace trappola#ace x reader#twst epel#epel felmier#epel x reader#twst deuce#deuce spade#deuce x reader#twst floyd#floyd leech#floyd x reader#twisted wonderland x mc#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x you#x male reader#male reader
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
Phase One: Thor
Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO
My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux
—
If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.
But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.
now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it
“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”
I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).
Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.
…is it, though?
I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.
I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.
Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram:
This is a goat:
This is Loki:
Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.
This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all.
Always happy to have cause to point out that
Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.
People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.
Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?
Asgardian exceptionalism FTW
I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂
Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??
This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao
—
—
—
“Looking for answers,” my foot.
YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??
#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y
—
—
What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy
Just wanna remind everyone that this
is why he’s smiling during this scene
because it makes me laugh every time. 😂
—
My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭
But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.
Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring.
#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?
Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.
Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂
JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?
Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.
Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂
…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?
On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷♀️
lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger
Honestly, though, big mood.
Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway.
Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.
…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.
Ok, first of all, no.
Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.
Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?
—
Please stop hurting me.
Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather.
—
…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.
Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.
Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is.
I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.
This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.
So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?
…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.
#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol
Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.
But you won’t.
You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒
Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess…
That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD.
First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol
Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol
Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.
Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.
lmao you little shit
So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.
But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.
For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.
It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.
Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.
I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.
I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷♀️
Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.
I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.
The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:
—
Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.
There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.
The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit.
There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.
“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.
COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.
No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.
And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.
Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.
Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.
WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol
#phase one: thor#loki meta#thor meta#odin's a+ parenting#frigga's b+ parenting#topic: thor and loki's broken relationship#loki#thor#heimdall#lady sif#the warriors 3#jane foster#ragnarok cinematic universe#mcu#topic: asgardian hypocrisy#topic: asgardian militarism#topic: odin's family dynamic
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
She’s listening through the air shaft, to see how long our swan song can last
Three Times Forrest Ignores Isobel When She Tries to Meddle, and Two Times He Doesn’t
***
A post-season 2 finale Forrest POV fic. Features Isobel being a meddling asshole, Forrest being a good guy, Michael and Alex being obvious, but stubborn, with a cameo by Liz being a little OOC (oops!). Starts out Forlex (or ManeForrest, whatever your preference!) but transitions to Malex. This fic exists entirely because I wanted to write two lines, bonus points if you figure out which ones they are. I may have sort of plagiarized my own season 1 finale fix it fic accidentally, but if the RNM writers can have the finales mirror each other, then my fix it fics can too!
Thanks to @lambourngb and @seeaddywrite for help with ideas and editing (and listening to me whine, a very important part of my writing process)!
*Title from Both Hands by Ani Difranco
***
1.
Forrest wasn’t sure what to expect dating Alex Manes.
The 180 degree turnaround on PDA between their first date and open mic night felt too good to be true. He half expected regression on their second date, for Alex to pull his hand away when Forrest reached for him in public, or to scoot his chair farther away when one of his Air Force buddies approached them in the bar, but so far that fear has been unrealized. It’s like a switch flipped, probably due to a combination of his own internal work, the death of his father, and full support of his brother. Alex is lighter and happier than when they first met, and seems at ease being out in public with Forrest no matter where they go. Tonight, they’ve settled on a casual night out at the Pony, with the intention of Forrest getting a chance to know Maria better.
Over the past few weeks of dating, Alex has met most of Forrest’s friends (they all love him, and if Forrest didn’t feel the same way, he’d be a little offended about how many of his friends have suggested that Forrest is punching above his weight class), but Forrest has yet to spend much time with any of Alex’s. Tonight’s supposed to change that, but Maria’s been slammed most of the night and when Forrest makes his way back from the bathroom, it’s not Maria he spots in the booth beside Alex, but someone much taller and blonder. As he approaches the table, he recognizes her as the woman he’d mistakenly identified as Alien Guy’s girlfriend one time when he and Alex chatted at the diner. He can’t place her name though, since he had a difficult time focusing on anyone other than Alex that day. A problem which has persisted even now that they’re dating.
As he slides into the booth across from them, she stops talking mid-sentence and glances him up and down appraisingly. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were here with emo smurf.” This is clearly addressed to Alex, though she doesn’t take her eyes off Forrest, a challenge in her gaze.
“Isobel,” Alex reprimands sternly, mouthing a sorry in his direction. Forrest waves him off. It takes more than a little snark to rattle him.
“Sorry.” Isobel flutters her eyelashes with faux innocence. “I’m just so bad with names.”
“It’s Forrest, as I know you’re well aware. Forrest, this is Isobel Evans, but you don’t really need to know that, because she was just leaving.” Alex shoots daggers in Isobel’s direction, but Forrest can already tell it’s a losing battle. Forrest isn’t exactly sure why she decided to come out swinging, but if she’s a friend of Alex’s, he wants to win her over. Most people, women especially, find his self-deprecating charm hard to resist, and he’s never backed away from a challenge.
Forrest tilts back in his chair, putting on an unbothered air. “No need to leave on my account. The purpose of tonight was to meet some of Alex’s friends, so I’m glad I had the opportunity to meet one more.”
Isobel raises her eyebrows. “Oh, we’re at the meeting the friends stage, huh? Who are you waiting for, Valenti? Is he still dating Liz lite? All the snark, none of the charm?”
Forrest doesn’t follow, but Alex clearly does, as he shoots back, “Jealous much?”
“Oh please. Like I’d be jealous over Valenti.”
“I don’t know Isobel, from what I hear you were all about him a few months ago.”
Isobel tosses her hair. “Wow you guys are such gossips, but you’re behind the times. That’s old news. Besides, I ended up with a much better offer. But, you know who you should invite out?” Her eyes light up, and even though they’ve only just met Forrest has an inkling that look is a dangerous one.
Alex seems to recognize it too, as he asks warily, “Who?”
“Your brother. I mean, you wanted him to meet your friends, why not have him meet the family too? And by brother, I mean the hot one. Well,” Isobel amends, “the hot, non-evil one.”
Forrest knows a bit about Alex’s family. It’s still not Alex’s favorite topic of conversation, but he’s given Forrest the basic outline, and he’s gonna go out on a limb and say Isobel means Gregory. He’s gotta hand it to her, she may be kind of bitchy, but she’s got good taste.
Alex, however, looks horrified. “Isobel, I beg of you, leave my poor brother alone.”
“What?” The innocent mask returns. “I want to see your brother naked, you want to see my brother naked. I feel like it all evens out. Or at least it will, once I actually make it happen.”
“Isobel. Cut it out,” Alex hisses again, and drops his head in his hands. Alex looks like he wants to melt into the floor, while Isobel looks pleased with herself.
By the way Isobel is looking at him, it seems like she thinks this statement will rattle him, but he doesn’t really know why. It dawns on him that she shares a last name with an ex-deputy-turned-bartender he may or may not have checked out on his way in. Is he supposed to be jealous that Alex apparently at some point expressed a desire to see Max Evans, naked? Forrest isn’t under the impression that a few weeks of dating means Alex isn’t permitted to find anyone else attractive. Plus, from his few past interactions with Max, Forrest feels pretty certain Max is painfully straight, so he’s hardly a threat.
Regardless, if her goal is to unsettle him, he’s determined to remain unaffected. “Max? I can see it. I know the tall, dark and handsome thing does it for some people. Hopefully lack of height isn’t a deal breaker for Alex.” Forrest shoots Alex a wink, but Alex hasn’t looked up.
Isobel looks at him like he might be the dumbest person alive. Forrest has a feeling it’s a look she wears a lot. “Not Max, my other brother. Michael? Alex’s ex? You’ve met him. You asked if he was my boyfriend? It was horrifying. I should make you pay that therapy bill, thanks a lot.”
Oh. Ok. It’s not exactly a shock. He had sensed some tension between Alex and Michael, a connection when he first saw them together on the farm. And later, in the diner, he’d seen Michael eyeing him a little territorially. Forrest had never been one to assume he was owed every detail of a boyfriend’s romantic past, so he’d never asked Alex about it. Alex likes Forrest, he’s with him, Forrest doesn’t need to know more than that yet. Michael’s sister being dismissive of him, making a point to let him know about Alex and Michael’s history doesn’t change anything. It shouldn’t anyways. And even if the confirmation of his suspicions does nag at him a bit, he’s determined not to let Isobel or Alex know about it.
He smiles reassuringly at Alex, who no longer has his head in his hands, but is instead staring daggers at Isobel once again, while simultaneously texting on his phone.
The reason for the texting becomes apparent as Maria makes a beeline to their table and without preamble announces. “Isobel, Max is asking for you, why don’t you go find out what he needs.” Maria is apparently less diplomatic than he or Alex, because she pulls Isobel up from her seat, and steers her by the elbow across the bar, before Isobel even has a chance to object.
“So…” Forrest ventures, breaking the silence. “Your friend seems nice.”
Alex lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry about Isobel. I should’ve gotten rid of her faster, but she can be impossible when she gets on a roll like that. Maria’s the best at dealing with her. I’m sorry she was so rude to you. Sometimes I don’t know why I put up with her. It’s complicated, but she’s kind of like family...”
He can tell Alex is giving him an opening. To ask about Isobel, and Michael even, but he’s not sure he wants to know. It’s Saturday night, he’s out with a hot guy, he’d rather make the most of it than talk about an ex. “No worries at all. She’s honestly much nicer than my family.” Which sadly is most definitely the truth. He rescues them both with a subject change. “You want to grab another drink, and play a round of pool?”
Forrest senses Alex is relieved at the out, and the smile he flashes now is the most genuine he’s had all night. “Sounds good, let’s do it.”
2.
Forrest hears stories about Kyle long before he meets him. Since the first somewhat disastrous attempt to spend time with Alex’s friends, they’ve had successful hangouts with Maria a few times, and Forrest has met Liz over Facetime, but Kyle, the reformed high school bully turned doctor best friend, has remained elusive. Alex explains that Kyle works odd hours, and has been in a bit of a honeymoon cocoon with his girlfriend as she recovers from a serious illness, so it’s not until he and Alex have been dating about two months that Forrest gets a chance to meet him. When Alex finally nails down plans, Forrest is a bit surprised at the venue choice of Planet 7. Alex is comfortable enough with himself now to go there, but he usually prefers the quieter vibe of the Wild Pony.
As they settle into a seat by the window to wait for Kyle, Forrest asks about the choice. “Is this some kind of test for Kyle? See if he’s really reformed by making him come to a gay bar?”
Alex barks out a laugh. “Definitely not. He’s proven himself a hundred times over now. No, the venue was Kyle’s choice. He’s been coming here much longer than I have. He’s kind of a legend here apparently, cleans up on drag night.”
Forrest laughs along with him and some of his nervousness at meeting someone so important to Alex, dissipates. He has a feeling he and Kyle will get along just fine. The same cannot be said, however, about the woman making a beeline towards them right now. Alex seems to notice her the same moment Forrest does and groans.
“Oh, relax,” Isobel retorts, clearly having heard Alex’s sound of displeasure. “I come in peace.” It seems a little below her game as far as jokes go, but Alex and Isobel both seem to find it unreasonably amusing. Isobel does seem to be making a genuine effort to be kind, even using his name a few times and laying off the snark as she regales them with a few stories of Kyle’s Planet 7 antics.
“So, you’re a Planet 7 regular too, Isobel? I’m surprised I haven’t seen you here before.”
“It was only a few months ago that I realized my tastes were a little more, umm, expansive than I thought, after I came here one night and took the bartender home.” Isobel looks a little smug as she nods towards the woman behind the bar.
Forrest knows Blair, everyone does really, but he hadn’t noticed until this moment just how similar she and Isobel are physically. He checks his initial instinct, a jab at her narcissism, feeling like he probably doesn’t want to start something he’s not sure he can finish. If she’s being nice, he doesn’t want to jinx it. He opts instead to say, “Nice. She’s very pretty. Are y’all dating?”
“Nope, we had fun and all, but some relationships are only meant to be short-term, you know?” Forrest decides to be kind and assume that was genuine, and not a pointed remark, but by the way Isobel is trying to conceal her smirk, he’s being far too generous.
Alex isn’t hissing at her though, so either he didn’t hear, or didn’t register the implication.
“So, Isobel, are you waiting for someone? You got a date tonight?” Alex asks. Forrest feels a little bit bad that he’s hoping strongly the answer is yes, and that her date is about to walk in the door.
“Not yet,” Isobel remarks suggestively. Forrest has no doubt she could have her pick of most of the women in this bar tonight, and the way she tosses her hair as she looks around appraisingly says she knows it too.
“Ok boys, what do you think? Does the woman in red in the corner look like she’d enjoy being tied up?”
Forrest nearly spits out his drink, and Alex blushes darker than he’s ever seen. Forrest finds it pretty adorable. Though Alex isn’t exactly shy, he’s definitely not the ‘talk about your sex life in public’ type of person. And, as far as he’s aware, Alex is relatively vanilla in his preferences, which suits Forrest just fine.
“What? You’re a prude all of the sudden?” Isobel seems equal parts annoyed and amused by Alex’s reaction. “You’re down for a threesome with your ex and your best friend, but you draw the line at talk of a little kink?”
Huh. Well that’s an unexpected revelation. Before Forrest has much of a chance to process the information, he’s distracted by a cold hard tone he’s never heard before in Alex’s voice. “Isobel, what the fuck. That is so far out of line.”
What’s more surprising still is the way Isobel immediately backs down. She looks genuinely apologetic and her voice softens. “You’re right, I’m sorry. And just… he didn’t tell me about it.” She glances at Forrest before continuing, “You know how...well, you know it’s hard to keep things from me. It wasn’t even his...well never mind. I am sorry though. I’ll work on that filter.”
Alex softens a little and shakes his head ruefully. “How you three ever managed to keep a secret with your big mouth, I’ll never know.”
Forrest feels, like he often does, that there’s a subtext to this exchange he’s not privy to, and Alex doesn’t explain. Forrest isn’t exactly sure if it’s because he doesn’t want Forrest to know or because he’s forgotten Forrest is there. Forrest knows it’s normal in new relationships to feel this way sometimes. He’s sure Alex has felt left out momentarily when Forrest is with his friends. It’s happened before to Forrest in conversations with Alex and Maria, but it’s never really bothered him. He knows that if things work out, he and Alex will develop their own shorthand and inside jokes. There will be times when they’ll be the ones annoying others by forgetting the rest of the world exists.
He doesn’t know why being reminded of Alex’s long history with Isobel in particular bothers him. If he’s being honest, it’s probably because he knows that their connection only exists because of Michael. He’s never said it in so many words, but Forrest knows that Alex considers Isobel family because he considers Michael family. And Isobel seems hell bent on ensuring Forrest never forgets it. Alex might believe that Isobel’s comments are just a symptom of her big mouth, but to Forrest it’s clear that she wants to be sure Forrest and Alex are always thinking about Michael. He’s irrationally tempted now to reach out and pull Alex to him, distract him from the conversation at hand, and make sure Isobel and Alex both remember who Alex is with now. But he knows Isobel would see right through him.
He’s distracted from this impulse by the jingle of the front door of the bar opening. He looks up to see a guy he recognizes as Kyle from photos on Alex’s phone enter, followed by a woman Forrest assumes must be Steph.
Alex sees him at the same time, and turns to Isobel. “If you’re actually sorry for being an asshole, you can make it up to me by being elsewhere. I’ve heard that you and Steph tend to get into it, so it’s probably for the best.”
As Isobel flounces off without another word, Alex looks at him hesitantly, likely wondering if Forrest is going to say anything about Isobel’s comments. With Kyle and Steph approaching, it’s not the time, so Forrest tries to rid himself of thoughts of Alex and threesomes, and focus on the double date ahead. After the date, they’ll have time to talk honestly about things. About why, when Alex and Michael are currently friends, and things were over with them romantically a long time ago, Alex shuts down at the mention of their sexual past. About why Isobel constantly brings it up, and seems so sure Alex and Forrest are only a short term prospect. Later, Forrest decides, they’ll talk openly about it, and Forrest will feel better, and their relationship will feel stronger, and these nagging feelings will go away. Probably.
3.
The thing is, Alex is by far the hottest, kindest, sweetest guy Forrest has ever dated, hands down, no contest, end of story.
And that’s a good thing, it’s a great thing, except that it makes Forrest stupid. Forrest likes to think he’s pretty good at relationships by now. He is, after all, a serial monogamist. Forrest knows that open, honest communication is pretty much the key to making things work. But somehow with Alex, he gets himself all twisted up, and can’t do the thing he needs to do, which is just ask Alex to tell him about Michael Guerin.
Forrest knows he gets weird when Michael texts Alex at odd hours of the night, or when Alex takes his car in to Sanders’ to get fixed, because he doesn’t trust anyone other than Michael to touch it. He knows he tenses when Isobel, Kyle, or Maria mention Michael and Alex’s past. He knows Alex knows it too. Not talking about it hasn’t made it disappear, but Forrest still can’t make himself have the conversation. The one time Alex tried to bring it up, and started to haltingly explain that they had a complicated past, but were friends, or really family to each other, Forrest shut it down. Cheerfully told Alex he didn’t have to explain and changed the subject.
So yeah, stupid. Or maybe willfully ignorant, is more accurate. He wants to keep Alex, and he has a sneaking suspicion that if they ever were to finish that conversation it would somehow lead to the end of this. And he doesn’t want it to end, so unhealthy avoidance it is. Most of the time it even works. They have a good time with each other. They make each other laugh. It’s been four pretty great months, and if Forrest feels sometimes that he’s just a little more invested than Alex is, well, he figures you can’t have everything in life.
Today, they are having breakfast at the Crashdown, and Forrest is excited to get to meet Liz in person, as she’s back in town for a visit with her dad. Alex warns him that it might not be all fun and games, as Liz apparently broke up with the love of her life before leaving town four months ago, and hasn’t decided whether she’s going to try to see him on this visit. Forrest is intrigued, as he honestly loves any relationship drama that doesn’t include him, so would happily spend the entire breakfast getting to know Liz better and listing out pros and cons of seeing her ex. What Forrest failed to account for, even once he realized that Liz’s ex is none other than Max Evans, is that of course Isobel would show up at the diner to interfere in her brother’s love life. He supposes he should count himself lucky that she barely notices his presence, her focus purely on interrogating Liz.
“So, are you gonna go see my idiot brother?” Her tone is as caustic as it often is when aimed at him, but surprisingly Liz doesn’t respond defensively. Instead, the tough front she’s been putting on for him and Alex seems to crumple a little, and she leans into Isobel, who wraps an arm around her shoulder.
“He doesn’t want to see me,” she mumbles into Isobel’s chest.
“Bullshit.”
“Is, I tried calling and texting from California. You know I did. He barely wrote back. He used to tell me he’d follow me anywhere, but he didn’t come after me.” Liz looks crestfallen, and Forrest feels like this might be too intimate a moment for him to witness.
“Yeah, because he was mad, not because he stopped loving you!” The exasperated look is one Forrest has become familiar with, even in their short period of acquaintance.
“You think he still does? That he’ll want to work it out?” The hope in Liz’s voice really is heartbreaking, and Forrest finds he’s pretty invested in the outcome even though it involves people he barely knows.
“Oh my god, you people really are impossible. Yes, Liz, Max loved you for ten years. Ten years during which you were never even together and never even stepped foot back in Roswell. He once said if he could’ve fallen in love with someone else, he would have. You really think he fell out of love with you in the four months you’ve been gone? Neither one of my stupid brothers’ hearts work like that. They fall in love at 17, and stay in love. It’s a thing, and it’s annoying. I know you guys have your problems, Liz, but Max not loving you is never gonna be one of them.”
Forrest is so focused on Liz that he doesn’t quite get the other implications, until he feels Alex stiffen beside him. It’s weird seeing hope blossom on two faces at once, though as soon as Alex feels Forrest looking at him, he schools his expression into something neutral so quickly Forrest wonders if he imagined it. Liz however, seems to have made a decision, and she pushes Isobel out of the booth, and scrambles out behind her.
“Uh, rain check?” Liz tosses at Alex over her shoulder, already halfway to the door.
“Yeah, of course,” Alex replies, though Liz and Isobel are already gone. He turns his attention to Forrest. “So, that got derailed.” He tries for a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Forrest wonders if part of Alex wishes he was the one running across town right now to see if the boy that’s loved him since he was 17 still does. Forrest really should just ask. It would, he tells himself, be better to know. But once more he lets the stupid part of his heart win and he lets moment pass instead.
+1
It’s not really spying on your boyfriend if he’s in a public farmer’s market and he invited you to meet him, right?
That’s the technicality Forrest is sticking to that makes it acceptable for him not to alert Alex to his presence. Instead, it's completely reasonable and not at all deliberate when he closely examines the jewelry display that blocks him from Alex’s view. It's just a mere convenience to use that cover while he can also overhear Alex's conversation with his ex.
It’s not that he doesn’t trust Alex. It’s just, despite all the time he’s spent worrying about what Alex and Michael might mean to each other, spurred on by Isobel’s insinuations and that look on Alex’s face when Michael texts, he hasn’t actually seen them together much since he and Alex have been dating.
He’s pretty sure that’s by design. He knows Michael and Alex still spend time together, but it seems that any time Forrest enters a room, Michael finds a reason to leave it. He doesn’t feel like it’s spiteful exactly. Michael is always polite when they cross paths, he just never sticks around. Seeing them together now, Forrest thinks maybe it was a kindness, a weird sort of respect for their relationship, for Michael to make himself scarce. Because while he can ignore Isobel’s barbs and pointed comments, seeing Michael and Alex within ten feet of each other is a different story. They aren’t even saying anything important. Forrest can’t hear every word --he’s pretty sure they’re just chatting about the weather -- but the way they look at each other is anything but casual. There’s an energy that seems to crackle between them and when Alex makes a joke, Michael smiles like Alex is the best thing he’s ever seen. And it’s not like Forrest can exactly blame him, but it’s the way Alex smiles back that makes something twist in his gut. It’s the way Forrest has always wished Alex would look at him, but never quite does.
For once in his life, Forrest feels something other than irritation seeing Isobel approach, as her presence seems to break some of the tension between Michael and Alex. They take a step back from one another and focus on Isobel as she loops her arm through Michael’s.
“So Isobel, how’d you manage to convince Guerin to show up a farmer’s market of all places?” Alex’s voice is light and teasing. It’s a contrast to the tone Forrest most often hears Alex use with Isobel, a combination of irritation and pleading, since usually she’s giving Forrest a hard time.
“Oh, the usual, blackmail and the promise of waffles at the Crashdown. You want to join us?”
Alex shifts uncomfortably from one foot to another and glances at Michael warily before responding, “I can’t. I’m ummm… meeting Forrest.” Forrest watches Michael stiffen immediately, looking down and then running his fingers through his hair and settling his cowboy hat atop his head before responding.
“Great. Tell him I said hi.” Forrest is almost impressed with how close to sincere Michael sounds. By the way Isobel snorts, Forrest can tell she’s not convinced.
Alex glances at his watch and looks around. “He should be here by now, actually. I left my phone in my car, so I should really go, see if he’s texted.” Forrest knows he should probably call out to him, let Alex know where he is, but something keeps him rooted to the spot, even as Alex heads in the opposite direction.
As soon as Alex is out of earshot, Isobel rounds on Michael. “Seriously, when are you both gonna stop it with this?”
“What?” Michael’s irritation with her is clear in just that one syllable.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Michael. It’s getting old watching you and Alex keep up this dance.”
“He’s moved on. I’m happy for him. I’ve moved on, too. I’ve got a date tonight.”
“Bullshit, Michael. He has not moved on, and he wouldn’t even be trying to, if you would just tell him you still love him.”
“It’s not as simple as all that,” Michael mumbles. Forrest notes that he doesn’t try to correct her assumption.
“It seems to get simple real quick anytime your lives are in danger. It’s like you can’t be honest with each other or anyone else without the threat of mortal peril. Like he can shout that he doesn’t look away to save you from certain death, you’ll threaten to burn the world down to find him when he’s missing, but in between neither of you can suck up the courage to ask the other on a fucking date? And the rest of us are supposed to sit around and pretend you’re just friends and watch you try and fail to move on over and over again?”
“He seems happy.”
“Yeah, I think he’s trying to be. Just like you tried last year. But maybe he could be happier with you. You both could be, except he doesn’t think you want to try. He wrote you a damn love song, and you walked away to wait for some mythical right time that may never exist!“
And suddenly Forrest doesn’t want to hear anymore. It’s not, he thinks as he walks numbly back to his car, like he didn’t know the song was about Michael. Of course it was. It’s just maybe he was hoping that Alex used a fair bit of artistic license, like the song was mostly nostalgia and puppy love embellished for effect, but hearing Isobel and Michael talk now, it’s clear that isn’t the case. He decides he’s buried his head in the sand about this for too long now and he can’t avoid the reality any longer. He has to talk to Alex.
A hand on his shoulder breaks him out of his reverie. Normally, it’s now, looking up at Alex’s smiling face that he loses his nerve, but today he doesn’t give himself time to overthink, he just asks, “Why aren’t you and Michael together?”
Alex drops his hand abruptly from Forrest’s shoulder and takes a step back, looking stricken. “What? Where is this coming from?”
“I just want to know, what’s stopping you? I mean, apart from me. If I wasn’t in the equation?”
Alex opens and closes his mouth a few times. Forrest can see him calculating, weighing between giving the response he thinks Forrest wants to hear and the truth. “He doesn’t want to be, for one thing… and you are in the equation.”
Forrest closes his eyes and steels himself. “Neither of those things are true. Not anymore.” He forces himself to look at Alex, but he nearly has to look away again, the hurt on Alex’s face nearly too much to bear. “I like you. I care about you a lot, but I don’t think we’re it for each other. I think there’s a big part of you that’s still waiting for Michael.”
He waits, not sure if he’s hoping Alex will convince him he’s wrong. Alex doesn’t speak, just lets out a hollow laugh. Forrest continues, “And he’s waiting for you too. I’m pretty certain of that. If I’m wrong, just tell me. Tell me that when you look into the future it’s me you want there with you.” Forrest’s voice breaks a little, he clears his throat to collect himself, feeling like this is dangerously close to begging Alex to lie to him, which is not what he wants. Alex looks down guiltily, and Forrest knows he’s been right all along. “You can’t tell me that, can you?”
Alex slowly shakes his head, tears in his eyes. “Forrest, I’m...sorry. I don’t want you to think… I really do care about you.”
Forrest tries for a smile. “I know. And I want you to know, I don’t regret it. Being with you. A relationship doesn’t have to be forever to be a successful one; to mean something. That’s why I think we should let it be now, so it doesn’t turn into something we’ll regret.” Forrest pulls Alex into a hug and is surprised when Alex grips him back just as hard. “I wouldn’t wait too long to tell him,” Forrest mumbles into Alex’s shoulder. “You deserve to be happy.” Forrest doesn’t think he imagines the feel of Alex’s nod against his hair, but he can’t be sure.
+2
The smart thing to do a few weeks after breaking up with your boyfriend is to avoid the bar his best friend owns. But even now that they’re over, apparently Alex Manes still makes Forrest stupid.
It’s not that he wants to get back together, he knows the breakup was for the best. Still, he can’t shake the morbid curiosity about whether Alex took his advice, and worked out his shit with Michael. Which is why he’s sitting alone at the bar, staring at his ex-boyfriend like a creeper, trying to analyze whether or not he and Michael are on a date or still pretending to be ‘just friends.’
The problem is, the fact that they’re staring into each other’s eyes like no one else exists tells him precisely nothing. This is the way they’ve looked at each other each and every time Forrest has ever seen them together, even when they were in other relationships. He’s almost given up hope of figuring it out, when something Alex says prompts Michael to pull him in for a soft kiss. It’s so intimate that Forrest flushes and looks away, feeling like an intruder to a moment he was never supposed to witness.
“It’s a little much, I know. Like I’m happy for them and all, it’s what I wanted, but they’re so disgustingly in love, it’s obnoxious sometimes.”
Forrest groans. Like this night wasn’t depressing enough without Isobel Evans coming to gloat. “Not really in the mood for an I told you so, Isobel.” He expects a bitchy retort, but when he looks up, Isobel’s features are softer than he’s ever seen them.
“I know I wasn’t the nicest to you all the time, but I really was trying to do you a favor. It was never going to last, so I thought driving you off quickly would really be a kindness.”
Forrest looks at her incredulously. “You don’t think there were any ways you could have accomplished that goal without being an asshole?”
Isobel seems to ponder that for a moment. “Hmm, bitchiness is really my go-to, but I suppose you’re right. Now, is crying into your beer while watching my brother and your ex canoodle in the corner really how you want to spend your night?” Forrest can’t help but steal a glance back at Michael and Alex’s table. They aren’t kissing anymore, but Alex is carding his fingers absentmindedly through Michael’s hair as they talk closely, and Forrest honestly thinks that might be worse.
“No, not really. What else you got?” he asks. When mischief sparks in her eyes, he nearly regrets the decision to engage.
“Well, why don’t you and I go to Planet 7, be each other’s wingmen, and see what kind of trouble we can get into?” She struts off, clearly used to people following in her wake without question.
Forrest laughs, equal parts intrigued and terrified at the prospect. Fuck it, he thinks as he grabs his jacket and follows her out the door, proud of himself for resisting the urge to look back at Michael and Alex one last time. It’s time for him to find out what’s next, and a night out at Planet 7 with Isobel Evans seems like as good of a first step as any.
#malex fic#rnm fic#malex#forlex at the beginning#idk i wrote this only so i could write two lines#im a little rusty#hope you all enjoy isobel being an asshole
244 notes
·
View notes
Text
Little Libero {AsaNoya}
--F
Summary: Littlespace - the act of regressing into a childlike state; such as a baby, toddler, or a child. Nishinoya is a little that has no caregiver and is not out to his club members. One day he slips and practice and everything escalated from there.
Word count: 4077
---------------
It had been a long day for Noya. He was tired, and practice hadn't even started yet. He hadn't been getting as much sleep because exam season was coming up and he hadn't been able to slip for a while. All of the stress had started piling up.
He was so tired and stressed that he wasn't as accurate with his receives and the whole team could tell something was off about the little libero.
After missing the ball for about the tenth time, he couldn't take it anymore. He just froze. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he just froze.
Of course a few people were concerned. "Hey Noya," Asahi said, "Are you ok?"
Noya could feel himself slipping "No, I can't, not here" he said under his breath and realized he was close to crying. He started running out of the gym before anyone could see. Except one person did.
"Shit."
Tsukishima could tell something was off with Noya when he saw him freeze. He could definitely tell something was off when he heard what Noya had said. He had only heard that type of desperation from one person before. It was the first time that Tadashi had slipped in front of him.
Tsuki ran after Noya. Almost everyone on the team got immediately more scared for Noya because they thought that Tsuki was going to hurt him or something but, Yamaguchi stoped them, as he had also heard what Noya had said. Everyone skeptically returned to practice after a little more convincing from Yamaguchi.
~~~in the hallway~~~
Once Tsuki got into the hallway, he started looking for Nishinoya. After about 30 seconds of searching, he found him. He was hunched over his knees leaning against a wall. Tsuki could hear the faint sniffling of a child who was crying but didn't want anyone to notice (and was not doing a very good job).
"Hey," Tsuki said softly as to not scare the boy, "Are you little?"
Noya didn't know how to respond. He couldn't tell if Tsuki was going to judge him. His mind being younger didn't help, as Tsuki was pretty intimidating if you didn't know him.
Tsukishima could see the hesitation from the smaller boy, so he knelt down to be on the same level as him. "Bubba, you can talk to me. I won't hurt you."
Hearing him use that nickname made Noya calm down considerably. He peaked over his knees to see Tsukishima with nothing but care in his eyes. Noya jumped up and into Tsuki's arms. The taller was slightly taken off guard but quickly regained his balance.
After about 10 minuets of Tsuki talking with a babbling Noya sitting on his lap and playing with his fingers, Noya started to nod off. Tsuki realized and waited for him to fall asleep before picking him up. Noya immediately snuggled more into Tsuki's shoulder for safety. Tsuki chuckled slightly at the clingy libero as he started heading back to the gym.
Once he got back to the gym, he hesitantly opened the doors as to not wake Noya. He walked in and everyone went silent. They saw the strong headed libero curled up into Tsukishima's arms and their jaws dropped. They all started to stammer our questions when Noya started to stir. Tsuki cooed and shushed him back to sleep and glared daggers at the rest of the team.
He walked over to a corner of the room where it would be less noisy and he could make sure that Noya got the sleep he needed while he was still able to watch the practice.
Yamaguchi walked over to when they were sitting and knelt down to their level. "How's the little guy doing?" Tsuki looked down and pet the sleeping boy's head "He was really tired. He fell asleep after like 10 minutes. This should help." Yams nodded and when back to practice.
For the next hour, everyone else continued practice while Noya continued sleeping on Tsuki's lap. When Noya started to wake up, Tsuki checked to see if he was still in little space.
"Nishinoya?"
"Hmm...? Oh... Oh my god Tsukishima I'm sorry!" Noya frantically scrambled out of Tsuki's lap. Seeing the struggle, he lifted him off his lap so that he could make sure that Noya didn't hurt himself.
"How did you...?"
"Tadashi. I've been his caregiver for quite a few months now."
"Oh."
"Do you want us to help you tell the rest of them?" Tsuki wanted to make sure that Noya wasn't stressed right out of little space to prevent him slipping again.
"Yes please..."
"Yamaguchi, can you come over here?"
"Of course!" Yamaguchi came bounding over so that the three of them could discuss a plan to tell them.
Once, they figured out their plan, Yamaguchi called everyone over and gave Noya an encouraging pat on the back.
"So, I'm a little,"
"...A little what?" Asahi asked.
"Not a little something. Just a little. I sometimes slip into little space when I'm stressed or haven't slept in a while as a way to release some stress."
"Oh," Daichi said, "Okay."
"So you're not mad?"
"No, of course not," Suga said, "why would we be mad for something that helps you?"
"Well I don't know. Some people just find it really weird." Noya explained.
"Yeah, we don't care." Tanaka joined in, "I'm just really curious as to why Tsuki was such a good... what is it called?"
"Caregiver," Tsukishima answered, "I've been Yamaguchi's caregiver for months now so I've gotten the hang of it."
"You WHAT??" Tanaka exclaimed, "YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOOD AT TAKING CARE OF SMALL CHILDREN?????"
"Umm, yeah. I work at a day care."
"WHAT??"
~~~~~~~~
Asahi was intrigued the whole time. Having come to the conclusion that he had a crush on the libero, he had tried to pay more attention and learn about the things that he liked.
For example, this thing called "little space".
He was intrigued by the concept of regressing into a different headspace. The more he read, the more he wanted to be Nishinoya's caregiver. He felt tinge of jealously of Tsukishima, him really being the only to see him little. He wanted to see the soft, child like side of his crush.
He decided that the next day at practice, he would ask Tsukishima a few more things about how to be a good caregiver and such. He really did want to be Nishinoya's "primary caregiver" as he learned that night.
~~~~~~~~
Asahi had decided to start with asking Yamaguchi for help with being a good caregiver, as he was a little as well, and much less intimidating than Tsukishima.
"Hey Yamaguchi," he said to the pinch server across the room, "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course!" Tadashi bounded over to the ace as he spoke, having a feeling what this conversation was about, based one the events of the previous day. "What's up?"
"Umm... well I was wondering what it takes to be a good caregiver, and since you have Tsukishima, and apparently he's good at this, I thought you could give me some pointers?" Asahi said as he fumbled with his hands.
Yamaguchi chuckled, "Well it's usually specific to each little but based on how I've seen you interact with people I think your biggest problem would be setting rules and sticking to them."
"Hey! What do you mean?" Asahi was mildly offended. He did see that he was less than intimidating to someone who knew him but he could hold rules if he needed to.
"You're talking to me instead of Tsuki. Isn't that enough?" Asahi couldn't really defend himself. He was, indeed talking to the less intimidating person in the duo. "Also, why are you so adamant about being his caregiver? I mean everyone else did some basic research but you seem to want to go the extra mile."
"Umm..." Asahi was flustered. Was he really that obvious that he felt something more toward the spiky headed libero? Had anyone else noticed?
"Ah! I made you uncomfortable! I'm sorry! Tsuki and I have seen the way that you look at each other and it looks like more that's friendship."
"Well... I mean you are right..." Asahi didn't know what to do with this information. "Wait, did you just say that he looks at me that way?" Tsukishima, having heard the ruckus of Tadashi frantically apologizing, wanted to make sure everything was ok. "Are you blind? He quit volleyball because of you. He wouldn't come back if you didn't too."
"Oh," Asahi said, "I see your point. I guess he might like me too?" He was still quite skeptical, as Nishinoya seemed to be lusting after Kiyoko at the very same moment.
"You'll never be sure if you don't tell him," Yamaguchi said, "Have you thought about confessing? I mean it worked for me."
"Well sure bu- wait, what? What do you mean it worked for you?" Asahi was quite confused, he never really saw Yamaguchi interact with anyone besides Tsukishima, but he was still kind of mean to the pinch server. "Who?!"
"That would be me." Tsukishima said, slightly wrapping his arm around the shorter's waist, "Caregiver and boyfriend."
Just as he finished saying that, they heard a cry from across the gym. Someone had gotten hurt, and it just so happened to be the one who could slip into little space.
"Oh my god, Noya! Are you ok?" Tanaka, as he had been the one closest to him, heard the impact. He could tell this was more than just a little trip. "Asahi." Daichi said quickly. Asahi ran to get the first aid kit.
They had had incidents before but there hadn't been any major injuries, he was hoping this one wasn't.
"Here you go, Daichi," Asahi frantically brought the first aid kit that they had, up to this point, only had to use for cuts and bruises. The wounded libero was still crying. Almost the whole team had tried to calm him down. Almost.
"Asahi, will you try to get him to calm down so we can see where he hurt himself?" Daichi said, who was still hurting at the sight of one of his children crying. "Please?"
"Umm, okay," Asahi really still had no idea what to do but he just wanted to badly for his crush to stop crying that he was willing to try anything. "Hey baby, can you come here?" He said, picking the boy, his small frame fitting perfectly in his arms.
"Hey, shhh, you're ok. Shh shh shh." He slightly rocked the crying little from side to side, trying everything to get his baby to calm down. Soon, after some more cuddles from the ace, Nishinoya's crying was reduced to small sniffles. "Hey, baby, can you tell me where it hurts? We're gonna make it better, okay?"
The little just buried his face into the taller's chest, whimpering, seeming to not want to talk. "Hurts."
"Aww, honey I know, I know," Asahi stroked the smaller boy's face, "Can you show me where it hurts?"
Nishinoya turned his head slightly and pointed at his ankle, whimpering. Asahi looked at Daichi, who had been watching, and gave the nod to start treating his ankle. He had only just touched it and the poor boy started to tear up again. Everything was magnified when he was little, feelings, affections, and most definitely, pain. "Oh, poor thing. It's ok, sweetheart, I'll be gentle." Daichi could see how much pain the small libero was in and could only wonder what he had done to hurt himself. "Asahi, will you try to distract him while I do this?"
"Of course," he was still stroking the younger boy's head in an attempt to calm him. It seemed to be working until Daichi tried to turn his ankle to see if it was broken and Noya started crying again. "Hey, shh, you're ok, I'm right here, okay baby? I'm right here," Daichi started to wrap his ankle, "Just keep looking at me, you're doing so well."
It was clear to everyone in the room that Asahi was a natural. He knew just what to say to calm the boy, it seemed as if he had been his caregiver for years.
Nishinoya was still whimpering slightly but with being in Asahi's lap and his calming words, the tears had once again stopped.
"Okay, well it's nothing very major, it's a little sprained and very bruised. It should be better after a few days of rest. Just to be sure, Asahi, will you take him home and stay with him? I don't think he will completely remember to take it easy, considering he is in little space right now." Daichi said, ever the worried captain.
"Oh, ummm... Sure, I guess." Asahi was quite worried, knowing that his parents were out of town, so he would have to stay the whole weekend to make sure he didn't hurt himself more.
"You two can start to head home since neither of you are gonna do any more practice," Suga said, "Right, Daichi?"
"Yeah. Go home and get some rest, both of you."
Asahi started to gather their bags and carried Noya to the changing rooms to help him get ready to go. He started to set the boy down on one of the benches in the changing room so that he could help him change but before he could, the boy started whimpering and clutched his shirt even harder.
"Oh, I'm sorry baby, is everything okay?"
"Don wanna leave you." Noya whispered, barely being loud enough for the ace to hear, "Please don leave."
"Aww, honey," Asahi's heart broke. He could never leave the little and his remark made him wonder who hurt the small libero for him to be that desperate to not even let go of him. "Don't worry, baby, we just need to get you changed so that we can go home and sleep. Does that sound okay to you?"
"Okay, promise you won leave?"
"I promise, honey."
~~~~~~~~
They had both gotten changed, Noya wanting to cling to Asahi the entire time. "Okay, baby. Are you ready to go home now? We can go home and cuddle more, okay?"
The smaller boy nodded sleepily and cuddled further into the ace's shoulder. "Mhm."
Asahi couldn't help but chuckle at the actions of the little. It was definitely time for a nap. He stared walking in the direction of Nishinoya's house, all the while talking to the smaller boy to keep him calm and lull him to sleep. Fortunately, the slight bounce of the tall boy's walk did put the second year to sleep.
Soft snores from the ace's shoulder alerted him of this fact just as they were walking up to the steps of the Nishinoya household. Asahi slowly walked up and opened the door as to not wake the sleeping little.
He was able to drop his and Noya's bags at the front door and take his shoes off before heading toward the younger's room.
He reached the room and set the sleeping boy down onto the bed and made a move to leave as to alert his mother that he would be staying at Nishinoya's house for the weekend. Before he could get to far, he felt a hand clutch his shirt. "You said you won leave." He heard a small voice coming from the bed, slightly groggy to tell his that the little was still asleep.
"Okay, honey, I won't" Asahi could hear the desperation in his voice so he crawled into the bed with him, wrapping his arm around the smaller boy so that he was sleep on his chest. He decided to text his mom, instead of calling like he had originally planned as to not disturb the libero.
Me: Hey, just letting you know that I'm going to stay at Noya's for the weekend.
He hurt himself at practice and his parents are on a work trip.
Mom <3: Okay, hun! Let me know if you need anything!
Me: Thanks, mom. Love you!
Mom <3: Love you too!
Now that that was taken care of, he was able to focus all his attention on the boy currently sleeping on his chest. For about an hour, he just laid there and watched the younger's breaths. 'He looks so vulnerable, just sleeping there,' Asahi thought to himself, 'He's so cute. I really am in love with him.'
"I love you. I know you're asleep and can't hear me and I don't know whether I'm disappointed or relieved. I love you so much that every time I look at you my heart flutters. Today has been one of the best days because I've gotten to take care of you." Asahi couldn't help but voice his feelings to the sleeping libero. He had fallen completely head over heels for the boy and couldn't bear to hold it in any longer. This didn't mean that he suddenly had the courage to actually confess, but at least telling a sleeping Noya was better than keeping it to himself any longer. "Thank you for being who you are."
With that, he decided to get some sleep too. The weight on his chest actually comforted him and made it much easier to fall asleep.
Little did he know that Nishinoya had woke up in big space and heard everything that the ace had said.
~~~~~~~~
Nishinoya was silently freaking out. The boy he had liked for a year had just unintentionally confessed to him. 'Okay, I can do this,' he thought to himself. 'I can't do this.'
He really didn't know what to do. It's not everyday that your crush just confesses that they LOVE YOU. The smaller boy looked at the clock and realized it was 10:00. 'Wow, how long did I sleep?' He tried to stretch his legs without waking Asahi, only to feel a sharp pain in his ankle, which made him wince. The taller male drew Noya in closer to try and smooth the boy. He was a natural even when he was asleep.
Nishinoya couldn't ignore how comfortable this position was. He was warm and comforted by the arms wrapped around him, and the beating heart under his head provided white noise to lull to sleep as soon as he closed his eyes.
'Okay, I'll do something about this tomorrow.' He thought just before falling sound asleep.
~~~~~~~~
Asahi woke up to his phone alarm, quickly turning off the alarm, trying not to disturb the sleeping Nishinoya. He couldn't help but to reach out and pet the smaller's hair. The libero made a slight purring noise, indicating that he enjoyed it, which amused the ace. He sure didn't expect that noise to come out of Noya.
Nishinoya's eyes fluttered open with a smile on his face as he looked at the taller, 'God, he looks amazing in the morning.' The sunlight was just barely peaking through the curtains, illuminating Asahi's face with a golden light.
"Hi." Asahi's voice was gruff with sleep. Noya couldn't hold himself back anymore. He reached up and put his hand on Asahi's cheek.
"Umm, Noya, what are yo-" Asahi was cut off by soft lips being placed on his. Asahi was shocked for a second before he realized what was happening and started to kiss him back. Their lips moved together in perfect synchronization as if they were made for each other.
They both had to eventually part for air. "Wow, that was... wow" Asahi couldn't believe what just happened. His crush had kissed him out of nowhere.
"I love you too." Nishinoya, feeling bold after the kiss, decided that now was the best time just to spill all of his feelings. "I heard you last night. You were so sweet and I didn't know what to do. And then your voice was just... I couldn't hold myself back anymore." He finished with a slight chuckle, looking at the flustered ace.
"I... just.... umm..." Asahi didn't know what to do with himself, he had just had a make out session with his crush AND he confesses to him AND he had heard all of the things that he had said the previous night.
"Will you be my boyfriend?"
Nishinoya blushed slightly at the offer. "Yes, of course." He leaned up to give the taller boy one last peck before moving to get up, completely forgetting about his ankle, only to be very abruptly reminded as he fell trying to get out of the bed.
"Oh my god, Noya! Are you okay?!"
"Agh, yeah. I kinda forgot." He tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle, only to be shot down with a look from Asahi. "Come on, I'll cary you to the kitchen and make breakfast. We have about two hours until we need to be at practice."
Asahi picked up the injured libero and brought him to the kitchen island. He then started to make breakfast as he had said. He practically lived at the Nishinoya residence, so he knew where all of the ingredients for various meals were. Nishinoya couldn't cook so he would often come over and make meals for him.
"Pancakes?"
"YES!!!!" The smaller boy seemed very excited about the prospect of pancakes, so the Asahi started on them. They filled the time with small talk, just like they always had. Except this time was different. Nishinoya couldn't keep his eyes off of his now boyfriend, he just couldn't believe it. "I love you," he said.
"I love you too, but if you keep staring at me I'm gonna mess up the pancakes."
~~~~~~~~
"Ok, time for practice!" Nishinoya said enthusiastically, starting to get up from where he was sitting on the bed.
"Not so fast, mister," Asahi caught Nishinoya before he could stand up completely, knowing he was going to hurt himself further if he started to run out the door. "You're not going anywhere by yourself. Come on." Asahi picked up the younger boy, making sure that he had a secure hold before setting off to get their bags.
They started out the door, with Nishinoya carrying the bags, him insisting that he can at least do something. The walk to practice stayed in a comfortable silence between the two boys.
Asahi walked in the door to see almost everyone chatting around. He moved over to a bench and sat down with Noya in his lap. Daichi came over to check his ankle and frankly because he was curious about why they were being so touchy. Nishinoya was always touchy with the taller but never this much and without Asahi excessively blushing.
"What's going on between you too, huh?" He said with a raise of an eyebrow, at a low voice as to not alert any others that something was happening between the two, in case they weren't quite ready to tell other people.
This is when Asahi became flustered. "Um w-what do you mean? There's n-nothing going on."
"Oh please," Nishinoya scoffed. He lowered his voice so that just Asahi could hear, "You say that as if you weren't making out with me just this morning."
Asahi let out a small squeal, which surprised Daichi as he had never seen Asahi this flustered. "Ahh, so there is something. Come on, spill."
"Well," Nishinoya started, seeing as Asahi was in no condition to explain, "I won't go into details be we are dating now."
"Finally." Suga said, coming up from behind Daichi, wondering what was taking so long. "Did the coward finally confess?"
"Hey, I'm not a coward..." Asahi wavered, his voice getting smaller with each word.
"Aww, it's okay, honey." Nishinoya said, "You're my coward."
"Awww." Daichi and Suga said in unison. "Well, Noya, your ankle is better than yesterday but you still can't practice today. Sorry. But we do need to start practice now."
"Ok, fine." Nishinoya said, getting up in the process to let Asahi stand up. Once Asahi was up, he sat back down in order to avoid being scolded by both Asahi and Daichi for being on his feet when he's not completely healed.
Daichi and Suga had moved away by then and had called everyone to start warming up. Asahi had moved to go with them before Nishinoya grabbed his arm and pulled him down to give the ace a small peck. "I love you."
Asahi blushed before looking back at the small libero.
"I love you too."
#f#haikyuu fic#haikyuu#fanfiction#asahi x nishinoya#asanoya#little space#age regression#haikyuu fluff#caregiver asahi#little nishinoya#yū nishinoya#azumane asahi#caregiver tsukishima#little yamaguchi#daichi#sugawara#tanaka#tsukishima x yamaguchi#tsukiyama#asanoya fic
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzel Day One
This is decent episode, and one of the few that isn’t filler in season two, but because there are problems with the over all character acs, there’s problems here with episode too.
Summary: Rapunzel and Cassandra come across an abandoned magic stall while searching for parts of their destroyed caravan. The stall contains a wand of forgetting. Cassandra impulsively wishes that Rapunzel would "just forget about everything" when she was tired of her trying to patch things up between them, which results in Rapunzel regressing to when she was still in her tower with Gothel.
The Episode Order is Confusing
So this and The Brothers Hook aired on the same day. Now in the production order listing, Rapunzel Day One is suppose to come before The Brothers Hook and that’s how it’s ordered on Disney Plus. Which is where I’m watching this marathon and getting all my screen caps.
However The Brothers Hook did air before this episode according to Wikipedia. Also Hook Foot is nowhere to be seen with nary a word. So placing The Brothers Hook before would indeed make more sense in that regard.
Yet Raps and Cass aren’t fighting in The Brothers Hook, so I don’t understand how this was supposed to originally work. What’s the correct viewing order here? Is Hook Foot just off screen with Fidella this episode, or is Cass and Raps ignoring their big fight in The Brother’s Hook?
For Someone With a Disability Now, It Doesn’t Seem To Affect Things
Ok, to be fair, they do show Cassandra practicing here and later in Mirror, Mirror trying to relearn how to use her hand, and indeed physical therapy for injuries is a thing. Yet, two scenes isn’t enough to establish that. She regains usage of her hand really quickly and far too easily, given the type of injury it was.
Disabilities, even unseen ones, still impact your everyday life. Yes, they don't ruin your life; you can still do things. But they don't just go away and you have to deal with it.
Finding that balance between not making a character useless, while still recognizing that there are things that they struggle with when writing disabilities is a line that writers have trouble with. But if you’re not going to put in that effort needed to pull it off tastefully then don't introduce the concept.
One Step Forward; Two Steps Back
Rapunzel recognizing that there is a problem, and wanting to fix it before it gets worse, can be viewed as progress. After all, avoiding the issue is why things got so bad between her and Varian. But, she’s still failing to see why Cassandra is upset and so goes about things the wrong way.
And keep in mind, Rapunzel does have every right to be mad at Cassandra, just the same that Cass has a right to be mad at Rapunzel. Both girls screwed up.
Yet, it’s only Rapunzel’s side of things that Rapunzel cares about, and therefore nothing actually gets resolved.
This could have been a decent conflict for season three, but that’s not where the writers take things so we’re just spinning our wheels here.
It’s also kind of shitty that Cass is the only person that Rapunzel is willing to put effort into righting things with. She still doesn’t give a crap about Varian, nor any other villain in the show.
Well I Guess This Has to Come Before The Brothers Hook
They have the caravan in Brothers Hook, don’t they? I mean how else did they meet up with Hook Hand? But if that is the case then where is Hook Foot now? I don’t know.
Cassandra’s Hurt Hand Only Matters When It Concerns Her Relationship With Rapunzel and Not How It Affects Her Character as a Whole
An extension of what I was saying before, but it shows the fundamental problem with the writing for Cassandra. The writers only think of her as a conflict for Rapunzel and not as a person with like her own life and shit.
Long Time, No See Owl
As soon as Hook Foot goes unceremoniously missing, then Owl shows up. I don’t think he’s been seen since season one, yet they act like he’s always been here with the group.
Why is continuity and consistency so hard for this show?
The Saporians Are Indeed Homeless, But Don't Expect That to Ever Be Brought Up
So things to note.
This isn’t a village. It’s an encampment. What we see here are destroyed tents and caravans. The only permanent structure is a short stone wall.
Secondly, the magic book they find has the Saporian symbol on it, and indeed the Saporians use the wand of oblivium to take over Corona in S3.
What we can gather from this is that the Saporians were driven out of Corona after the first war. They’ve been living as nomads for centuries without their homeland.Yet their most recent settlement was destroyed by the black rocks sometime before season one started, along with most of their possessions and means of living.
All of this would explain their motivations, goals, and why they picked now to try and take over and not just any other time.
But don't expect any of that to be brought up or remembered by anyone come season three. We can’t have any po the bad guys, save for Cass, being sympathetic now can we.
Also, just a side note. It’s funny how apothecary is treated as magic and alchemy as a science in this world, when in reality it should be the opposite way around.
This is Not an Apology
If you gotta throw a ‘but’ in there, then you haven’t really apologized.
Rapunzel’s not sorry for Cass getting hurt. She doesn’t recognize nor understands why Cassandra feels the way she does, and she’s even attempting to try to. All Rapunzel cares about is how Cass being upset makes herself feel. She’s putting in this effort to ‘talk about it’ because Cass being outwardly angry at her is inconvenient to herself and nothing more.
Rapunzel Still Hasn't Learned Boundaries
Didn’t we already have this conversation back in season one?
And like, yes, it’s not good for Cassandra to ignore her feelings, but what Rapunzel does here by pushing isn’t a good thing either.
What's most frustrating though is that neither learn anything from this. Just like they didn’t learn anything in Under Raps or Goodbye and Goodwill.
It’s aggravating to see the writers give us an actual conflict that’s worth having the mains fight over, only to be undermined by previous episodes and then thrown away altogether.
So How Come the Wand Only Erases Part of Rapunzel’s Memory and Not All?
Like, this is suppose to be set for season three with Frederic and Arianna losing their memories. Yet despite Clementine using a similar wand, it doesn’t have the same effect on them as it does on Rapunzel here. They lose all their memories and sense of identity, while Raps just forgets a few years.
Speaking Forgetting How Things Work
Where did this handy dandy book with the cure go when Frederic and Arinna lost their memories? Why didn’t Raps go looking for it then, or force the Saparoians to give her the cure while they were in her custody?
So This Plot Point Kind of Back Fires, and Winds Up Undermining Everyone’s Relationship with Rapunzel
First off, just repeating New Dream scenes from the movie, but with Cass in Eugene’s place is ill advised given the direction that the show went in. Whether you ship Casspunzel or not, it’s important to recognize that ‘sisters’ is what they are intended to be in canon. That’s the direction that Chris went with them, whether we like it or not. So either no one on the show knows how to write platonic female relationships, or this is gay baiting. Take your pick.
It’s also lazy.
But most damaging is that this only shows that Cassandra only liked Rapunzel when she was naive and stupid, and not the Rapunzel we have now. Tie in how her friendship with Rapunzel is based off of validation to begin with and we got a very unhealthy relationship, and not one that should be rooted for, despite the show wanting you to do just that.
They even go so far to repeat the lines from the flashback in the last episode, as if this was a positive thing in their dynamic, instead of recognizing it for the really mess up thing that it.
Then there’s the Eugene side of things that this calls into question.
We know Eugene loves Rapunzel through thick and thin, but how much of their relationship is based off their first adventure together and not about how they work together in the here in now?
Did Rapunzel just simply latch on to Eugene because he’s the first person that she met who wasn’t her mother and wound up being nice to her? If anyone else found her, would she be in a relationship with them instead? Is it healthy for her to never look for anything else? How much does Rapunzel actually like Eugene, for himself?
Then throw in Eugene’s over idealization of Rapunzel in season three, they’re lack of communication issues, and Rapunzel’s crippling need to always be right, and I can’t say if New Dream should be what we’re rooting for either.
This isn’t a Casspunzel vs New Dream thing, nor is it a personal dislike of Rapunzel herself. Rather, it’s a very serious question about the nature of Rapunzel’s interpersonal relationships vs her character development, and how that has to change things on some level, and if it’s still worth having those relationships now that she herself has changed so drastically.
Is everyone being fulfilled? Is everyone getting what they need still? No? Then, why are any of these people still together?
That needs to be addressed by the narrative now, and it never is.
So Why Would You Say That Cass?
Rapunzel doesn’t know where she is and therefore has no idea what direction the tower lies in. If you’re heading south back to the camp then just say the tower is south. In fact it actually is south because you’ve been traveling northeast to the Dark Kingdom for months now, according to the map in Rapunzel’s Return. So what was the point in lying about that?
In in effort make Rapunzel look smart, they had to make Cass look dumb and that’s not good writing. If you needed Rapunzel to suddenly not trust Cass then there were other better ways. The drawing she placed in her pocket should be enough on its own to tip her off, and all she has to do is reach into her pocket to put like a rock she found in there and then find it that way.
So When Did Rapunzel Have Time to Build This Elaborate Mousetrap?
This would have taken hours, it’s not even been minutes.
There’s making Raps competent and then there’s turning her into an overpowered invincible heroine.
Now Pascal Is Missing
Oh is he with fucking Hook Foot now?
He was right on your shoulder Eugene.
If you’re going to have characters conveniently missing then establish that first, preferably in a visual way and not with exposition.
So Rapunzel is Treat As In the Right Even When She’s Not
So Cassandra opening up about her feelings is treated as the solution to the problem, but it’s really not, or it shouldn’t be anyways. She can recognize she lied about the wand without having to doing something she finds uncomfortable, and it’s not like Rapunzel right now has any frame of reference for what Cass is talking about.
All this amounts to is giving Rapunzel a free pass on her earlier bullshit.
Also if Cass repeating a phrase Rapunzel said earlier was all that was needed to jog her memory enough to trust her, then why couldn’t Eugene done the same? He was right there.
This Doesn’t Resolve Anything
Ok first off that’s not what friends do. Friends actually work through shit. Friends make sincere apologies. Friends forgive each when they do.
If you’re not doing that then you’re not friends and you should just leave.
No one, not Raps, not Cass, ever apologizes for what happened in the Great Tree. They never try to understand what either of them did wrong, nor do they put effort into fixing themselves or addressing their issues and flaws.
And you know what? That would be a valid reason for their falling out in season three. But it’s not used as such, so any resolution to their conflict there winds up feeling hollow.
Conclusion
This episode, like with the Great Tree, gave me hope that this was all leading somewhere. Now it’s just a bitter reminder of how screwed up the writers’ morals are in this show, and how poorly planned everything was.
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
GREY'S ANATOMY 16X15 REVIEW
Wow, is the first thing that comes to mind with that episode, it's the first one I enjoyed so much in years. It wasn't like the old Grey's good, but I certainly enjoyed it. Now with that being said, onto the reviews.
The craziest ones first.
_________________________________________
Deluca
Oh boy, where do I start?........ Deluca ran out in a blizzard to have collect a liver WITHOUT GLOVES and ended up with frostbite. He is currently clearly having some mental issues and I hope that they're able to treat that soon before he's fired. Sure, he saved a kid's life and before that he saved Suzanne's life but what happens when his luck runs out? His hands are going to be out of commission for a while and I hope that he gets some help by then because something is definitely up with him and the way he's acting with the people around him is becoming harsh, which means the problem is getting worse.
_________________________________________
Meredith/Dr Haynes
Lumping them into one section seeing that were together for most of the night. Haynes is definitely enjoying having conversations with Meredith. In a way if they were to get together this would be the best way to do it. Too many relationships in Grey's start with sex first talk later and it worked for Meredith with Derek but it didn't for pretty much everyone else in the show, not everything is like the Mc Dreamy situation.
Must admit I enjoy the interactions but, I'm still not at shipper level yet. The bonding over their past spouses and raising kids ......☺☺☺. He had me going at first when he said Christina never mentioned Meredith, but turns out she just calls her the twisted sister, fair enough, I wouldn't be surprised if Christina had planned to set him up with Mer since the first time they spoke. On another note his passion for his patients is very admirable, hes not Alex Karev level yet. But I like him.
Meredith is trying with Deluca more than she did for Maggie when she was in her slump🤔🤨. She really has no plot right now, the show at this point might as well be called anatomy. She's trying to help Deluca, but only gets abuse in return, I really am praying that he is sick if not........😡🤬.
Then theres her and Haynes budding friendship. But that's pretty much all for Meredith.
_________________________________________
Jo and Alex
WTF, Alex better be dead or I'm going to be disappointed, he never even went to his mother's house and has been ghosting everyone......... excuse me what? I'm not seeing any proper valid excuse for the nonsense that is this plot. Why are they doing this? All of his progress is regressing. Next week is his final episode and it better have a valid explanation.
Jo is understandably a reck, I kind of enjoyed her sass though. I'm honestly confused. (Did he go after Izzie cause that would really be insane.) I understand they wanted to make it as painless as possible for Jo, but how is this better? She's heartbroken, they would have been better off if he'd died instead. I'm curious to know where the hell he is though.
But at least we got to see her have some support even if Link is a wreck as well.
_________________________________________
Teddy/Owen/Koracick
This story line definitely was the biggest WTF moment I was not expecting that from Teddy and more importantly the stupid Owen, Teddy, Koracick triangle starts again, but this time with a side of Amelia like OMG please stop🙄. Props to Teddy for being able to add up dates or having intuition or whatever her reason was for knowing. Although she could have discussed first instead of having pent up feelings that have now been released in the form of a huge mistake.
Poor Koracick at the end of the day Teddy and Owen will probably patch up the relationship and he'll be left once again heartbroken. I wish he had, had the strength to reject her. He's always the scape goat when her and Owen are having issues.
Owen, actually was being a good spouse and got cheated on but I guess Karma comes back around. He, just saved a baby and mom and asked Teddy If she wanted to ski for this episode. But I'm sure he's going to have a major storyline soon along with the others in this mess.
This love triangle just got even more complicated, especially if Amelia and Owen starts to catch feelings again.
_________________________________________
Richard
I'm actually perturbed by him tonight. Is he retiring? Better not be if he wants to stop preforming surgery, fair enough but he needs to be the intern director or something I can't have him leaving too after Karev, he can't give up too.
He found inspiration from a new intern. I thought she was going to be the new Dr Bailey for him. But nope she's not even a doctor. Her story was touching, but was she really going to cut into a patient with only barely having been in med school. How did she think that was going to work out? And poor Richard he was finally starting to get that teaching spark in his eyes again, only to find out she wasn't even a registered doctor. At the end he talked to her about never giving up, gives her his sethescop and says he no longer need it, like I said before they better not get rid of Richard as well, and where is Catherine? For someone who fought hard enough to buy a whole hospital for him to have to be around her, she sure is absent.
_________________________________________
Miranda Bailey
She spent the whole time helping Joey study for his GED and then took him on a tour of the hospital to see job options and it was just adorable, their banter is hilarious and is it me or is he going to be a surgeon. He was so interested in them saving the baby and the mom.
And as expected she has decided to adopt Joey however it happened like I didn't want it to..... really fast. So fast that she didn't even bother to inform her husband and I know Joey and Tuck were playing video games and getting along but does he understand that he's about to have a new brother?
I knew a Ben and Bailey fight was coming and I guess now it has (they've been too happy and no couple in Grey's stays happy for long. Luckily it seems like an easy fix.)
_________________________________________
Link
Link is ultimately depressed and it's sad because that means that he really did truly love Amelia,he should have taken some personal days as well because being depressed at work is never a good idea. I really hope that they aren't trying to set him up to be with Jo, I like their brother sister support system.
_________________________________________
Nico and Levi
Now I love my boy Levi, but sometimes I feel like being a surgeon is not for him. He fainted in the OR twice, cried when he had to give the patient bad news and then lost a patient, I hope he gets it together soon before he kills someone.
_________________________________________
Now as for his love life Idk what the hell happened. Nico took a 360 turn. Maybe he's bipolar as well, because I am lost. He's being such a douche, sure Levi's almost child like innocence and need to over share can be annoying at times but he deserves an explanation, he ditched his family for you because he pretended to be a fully open gay. The least he could do is give an explanation. Can't believe the way they're relationship is turning. I think this may be the beginning of the end for them. I hope not, they were good together.
_________________________________________
Jackson
Barely raised his head up from carrying on the work of Mark Sloan to fight with his new girlfriend Vic. Which I'm sure is not over they apologized but, that 2nd fight is coming soon.
_________________________________________
Maggie
No plot really besides being salty about no longer being chief, saving 2 lives, then confirming to Teddy that she's not crazy for thinking that Amelia's baby is Owen's and apparently giving her the courage she needed to cheat on Owen with Tom.
_________________________________________
Ending notes/ questions
• WHERE THE HELL IS ALEX?
• What's going to happen with the hot mess that is Teddy/Owen/Koracick/Amelia/Link.
• Is Deluca really mentally unstable and becoming like his dad? And is he going to be Ok?
• Is Richard retiring? (He better not be if his hand is shaking then fine stop surgery and teach instead, but you do not get to leave too Richard)
• Will Ben and Bailey come to agreement with adopting Joey? And will they agree to just him or adopt the others as well? (It seems strange that after the whole thing about having to keep them together they would just split them up and leave it like that.)
• What's going to happen with Meredith and her love triangle/not love triangle.
• Will they finally give Maggie's character something to do besides supporting people. She had like one or two 5 minute plot for like the past few seasons.
• What is wrong with Nico, he suddenly changed for the worst in 2.5 seconds and Idk where they're taking his character.
• Is Jo going to fall into the slump again like she did when she met her mother? I hope not. It's her time to shine now.
_________________________________________
Excited for next week's episode it's looking like Drama and emotions the whole episode. My favorite types.
#grey's anatomy#greys anatomy#grey s anatomy#grey's spoilers#grey's season 16#grey's s16#grey's abc#shondaland#shonda rhimes#meredith grey#miranda bailey#jackson avery#maggie pierce#owen hunt#teddy altman#richard webber#atticus link#levi schmitt#catherine fox#catherine avery#episode review#episode recap#tv series#tv show#tv characters#jo wilson#alex karev#my opinion#tv fandom
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
a life update
if you’re interested! :) i know im the nosy person who loves reading about peoples’ personal lives, so if that’s you.... below the cut sis, i see you lol
I have been sooo absent from tumblr for months now! And I know I don’t owe any explanations or anything, but idk, I just thought it’d be kinda fun to share with you guys what’s been keeping my mind busy and away! So here goes nothin’.
I had one hell of a summer. Emphasis on hell. Read: Family DRAMA. Which left me in a pretty rough place mentally/emotionally. In a much, much better place with it all now (altho as I say that my crazy aunt has been texting me all day tryna drag me bag into stuff lol no rest for the wicked y’all). But, when you’re feeling kinda down, it’s hard to find the energy to create.
I am starting up my web design side hustle!!! Which has been a long time coming lol. I’ve been meaning to do this for years, but things never quite lined up or worked out. Last year, I finally felt like I was at a good place to start, so I have! This is by far taking up the most space in my brain for now, as I’m still getting things off the ground. It’s hard to balance starting a business while working full time, and also trying to have other hobbies/interests/social interaction lolol. PS: If you or anyone you know needs a website designed.... ;) just sayin’. I know a gal.......... me. It’s me. I’m the gal. Moving on. :)
I’ve been revisiting my novel. Idk if I ever talked about it much on here or just vaguely referenced it here and there? But last Spring (yikes almost a year ago.. BIG YIKES) I started a novel with the goal to finish by 2020. I wrote about 3 chapters and effectively scrapped it. lmao. So here we are! Revisiting the drawing board. FYI, this novel is an adaptation of my “Disapora” story if any of yall remember that hot ass M E S S-- aka, how Eli and Clem meet, fall in love and what not. My concept is to take my Ivy characters and kind of build them out their own book series... a series that would explore generational ties and relationships, and give me space to REALLY develop these characters I’ve loved so much. Like, I could gush and geek over this forever, but developing the old Elliot and Clementine into REAL characters (let’s be honest, their development had always been a little... lite lol) feels amazing, and seeing the same character yet also they’re so different?? It’s hard to explain, but it’s exciting, and fun, and a big, long-term project/goal of mine, and 2020 is the year I write the first book!!!! Or at least start it lol.
I lost my very best furry friend, my cat Juno, in December. See above for mental hardship making it hard to create. However, Seth and I have opened our hearts and home to two little ragdoll brothers , who we’ve had for a few weeks now, and are in love with. I think Juno would’ve really loved them too. ❤️ They’re a lil bad sometimes lol I like to think they’re in the preteen phase right now, and acting up and being extra. But they’re so cute and sweet and quirky, and already apart of our little family.
Then there’s just tons of misc things that have sucked up my time. Like: learning how to use my iPad Pro + Apple Pencil, creating a digital bullet journal with said iPad/Pencil combo, researching going back to college for my MSW to then become an LCSW (good LORD the acronyms in the field... kill m e) and become a therapist, researching houses we cannot afford???? literally wasting entire days looking on Trulia/Zillow/etc. lol, trying out a super DUPER extreme elimination diet to pinpoint some of my health issues (which i suspect might be autoimmune by nature, as it runs in the fam, despite me not being diagnosed-- and there is a lot of at the bare minimum anecdotal evidence that AI diseases are caused by food intolerances), went through a weird regression where I played Zelda for a few days lmao, and I’ve also taken up a daily manifestation journaling practice! And lord knows what else. :)
All of this is to say.... YEAH I’ve been busy. But here I am. I can’t make any promises to myself or others are my content, how often I’ll post, if I’ll ever even finish this dang story, or what. But!! That’s all good. :) I’m gonna let myself have fun with this hobby. Because for ME, I need something I can just have fun with. Read all the above points for things in my life that aren’t meant to be taken very seriously and leave no room for ‘just have fun with it’ and you’ll get it lolol. At the end of the day tho, I love tumblr, for as much shit as we all talk about it. It scratches a very particular itch for me, and it’s an enjoyable itch to scratch (???? weird metaphor but ok). It’s fun. I love the community (I’m good at blocking the icky blogs, and love my mutuals/followers/anons/people who interact). And I love having Like Ivy in the back of my head, getting ideas and inkings for it here and there, with no pressure on myself to do anything with it, right away. I want to keep this as my creative, free for all kinda space. But that might mean some radio silence here and there. I feel like most my main followers are also adults tho with busy lives??? So I’m sure y’all more than understand the struggle lolol.
OH I almost forgot-- keep your 👀 peeled for the return of my Youtube channel this year! That was another fun hobby I enjoyed doing just for myself. I still need to figure out how I can make it work for me, in my new crazy life/schedule lol but alas!!!!! I’m a double scorpio and i LOVE a good challenge. Also might be a bit of a masochist??? So, I’ll figure it out, no worries lolol.
If you read this, and got all the way to the end without tapping out, I just wanted to say hey 👋 I see you. You’re awesome. I love you. Thanks for being interested in me. Also, we’re nosy creepers together, so we clearly have that in common 💁♀️ and idk! even if I’m not posting, I’m always lurking/around and always open to chat, answer asks, whatever. :) And if you have any questions about anything I wrote here, feel free to shoot them my way too!! All humans lowkey love talking about themselves (this post? case, and point oof). No shame~
Anyways-- thanks for reading!
20 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Congratulations, BRIDGET! You’ve been accepted for the role of HERMIA. Admin Julie: Bridget, your application for Hazel was, in short, incredible. Nothing felt unfinished out or out of place -- every word you wrote felt as though it just made sense. It was a true, genuinely pleasure to read; your in-character interview was especially heartrending, and honestly, listening to Hazel speak felt quite a lot like coming home and sitting down with an old friend over a nice cup of tea, or coffee, which is a welcome relief from the harshness that Verona can often personify if you let yourself get too drawn in to the chaos and the angst and the pain. Hazel is utterly human in an incredible way, and you hit that nail right on the head. We cannot wait to see her on the dashboard, and we cannot wait to have you with us. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.
WELCOME TO THE MOB.
OUT OF CHARACTER
Alias | Bridget
Age | Twenty-two
Preferred Pronouns | She/they
Activity Level | I am currently in a fugue state when it comes to both the perception of myself and of time, so while I will intend to be online everyday, sometimes a few days will slip through the cracks of my conscious and then I’ll realize I’ve been MIA and do my best to do about 123432 replies in an hour to play catch-up. That said, I can guarantee at least four days a week being online for at least an hour if not more.
Timezone | EST
How did you find the rp? | I feel like I’ve known this RP for years but honestly I’ve been capital-I Intimidated by it, but I was talking to Kay and figured I was finally willing to take the plunge
Current/Past RP Accounts | https://rvncorns.tumblr.com/ https://birdieklein.tumblr.com/
IN CHARACTER
Character | Hermia ; Hazel Ruth Accardi
Hazel ; english: the hazelnut tree
Ruth ; biblical, hebrew: compassionate friend
Accardi ; a family who believes in God above all, following his teachings in all motions of their life
What drew you to this character? |
As mentioned above, I’ve seen this roleplay for years, and I have had friends be a part of it. In the depths of my Google Drive, I have half-started apps that I never finished due to the muse never being quite there, or for fear of submitting and facing competition itself. I’ve perused the masterlist every so often, but no one has quite piqued my interest quite like Hazel.
I think I knew I had to app them after reading the line, “ only a foolish saint believed that they could walk through a city of such sin with unblemished hands and clean soles of feet. ” It was so visceral, and it really made me start imagining this character further than what the biography offered. I could only picture her having found this solid identity, certainly marked by the world, but mostly unstained. I couldn’t help but think that this — being in Verona, that is — is going to change her. She might not realize it, She might not want to believe it, but it will happen slowly and surely.
I do love characters that have crises with identity. There is something soothing in being sure of yourself and who you are, and I do believe that fuels Hazel. She fought and struggled to find herself, and now she will begin to struggle and fight to keep herself as she is, as who she knows herself to become.
There’s room for both growth and regression within Hazel, and I genuinely would love to explore it.
I also was captured by her love and fervid passion for religion. As someone who has personally struggled with religion and their own views of it, I think Hazel will be an interesting projection. I want to see her lean into her faith with all that is coming to trouble her because that is who they are. God is her Shepherd and she is his lamb. He is guiding her through all of this, struggles and all.
I don’t think she’ll ever come to have a moment where she will renounce her faith. It is embedded in her. She is solid and unwavering in it — and I desperately believe that that can’t be changed, no matter what the world — Verona, specifically — will throw at them.
What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |
I always fear that I’m not living right: I want to explore how far Hazel falls in with the Montagues. Is it forging only ? Does it stop there ? Or does it slowly become more and more until she realizes she is drowning in sin she could have never imagined ? I want her to have moral conflict. She loves Verona for its beauty and history — but is it worth the sin ? Is it worth the stain on her godly soul no matter how many times she goes to confession ? I gotta say I don’t think she’ll be necessarily cognizant of her doing more. It just seems like she’s paying off their debts. A gun to the face has put the fear of God in her heart ( — which leads me to wonder how much fear did she have of God to begin with, the righteous and Almighty, and I do suppose I could write a whole thesis on this but I’ll refrain ) and to question it seems like the wrong move.
ALSO HAHA I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS RIGHT NOW pt. 2 : what if she started forging for the Capulets too ? Like, to make more money on the side ? The money they’re earning from the Montagues is basically nil, considering it’s all going to debts. If she wants a little money in her pockets, maybe she’ll have to do what she has to. Maybe there’s no choice. It could be dangerous and risky — scratch that. It would definitely be dangerous and risky. But I think a part of Hazel is still somewhat blind to all of the danger. It hasn’t quite touched her yet ( a gun to her face aside ), so it hasn’t quite struck her how much is at play, at least not in a real, physical, palpable way.
I do have to say that I’m pretty sure she will end up more involved within either the Montagues or the Capulets despite what her initial thoughts are ( because that’s the path I’d like to move with her ). Slowly but surely, she’ll end up in deeper water, but I don’t think she’ll want to get out so long as she feels safe. That’s so important, a sense of safety. She has that in her relationship with her parents, and especially her relationship with God. That said, I feel like I need to add that she will stay involved with the gangs so long as she isn’t hurting anyone directly. She’ll have blinders on, specifically rose-colored ones, of her own making. Perhaps it’s naive, perhaps it’s selfish, but to think too long about it is scary. To add on the thought of hurting someone else by her direct action ? Unfathomable.
It’s established in the biography that she saw the world in extremes, and I do imagine that, while she has grown, she still sees some things in black and white. I think getting more involved with the Capulets and Montagues will show her that the world isn’t just her version of black and white. What she sees as wrong, someone else might see it as right. I think she’ll be introduced to shades of grey she never quite was able to perceive anymore. I want her to learn more about people as she learns more about the war between the Montagues and Capulets.
I’m still petrified that I’ll die alone: I can’t imagine that leaving Harley didn’t hurt Hazel at least a little bit. It was the right decision surely — she’ll never think or believe otherwise — but now she’s grown up. I think that she wants Harley to be in her life because she loved them once, partly, not wholly, but as the connection says, Hazel doesn’t know where Harley is meant to fit. I think it would be really interesting to have them reunite and discover who she is now. Though Harley knew herself then, I’m sure she’s changed. I want Hazel to learn that, and I want her to reintroduce herself to her. It would start with a “ Hi, I’m Hazel, ” and it’d be a little shy and a little hesitant, but she’s open to possibilities. She isn’t as closed off as she once was. I really think Hazel needs to figure out where Harley fits, or, and hear me out, where she doesn’t fit. I don’t know if Hazel ever felt true closure from where they left each other before, but maybe she can find it. Whether it’s them together or not, it’s something she’ll work to figure out.
Ok I feel the need to say that obviously it would depend on the Harley writer and myself on whether or not they get back together and also their chemistry ???? okay but so:
If they get back together, I think Hazel will definitely feel more pulled into the world of the Capulets and Montagues. I feel like I should state that, one, she would be incredibly glad to be with Harley again, and she would fall in love again, which leads to a very happy mindset and lifestyle, but the most heavy impact it would have on her life is for sure the one it would have on her role with the Capulets and Montagues.
Honestly, right now, she doesn’t want to be involved. That’s the end goal. The only thing keeping her with the Montagues right now is her debt. Once she has it paid off entirely, there’s really no reason to keep working with them.
I mean, besides money, but I digress.
She wouldn’t plan to work for either.
She could be pressed / convinced into it.
However, regarding the Capulets, she wouldn’t want to put Harley in a difficult position were she still working with the Montagues when they got back together.
Can she quit ? Probably not ! Would she try ? Yes !
Maybe she’d offer to assist the Capulets in some way to make it equal. In her mind, it would work.
Harley: come work for the Capulets. I’m loyal to them. There’s some safety in Verona with an allegiance
Hazel: Good point
I think if Harley asked her to, she wouldn’t say no, not right away
It would take time to make a decision, and she would definitely think about it ( not just an hour, but days, maybe a week ? )
She would be conflicted between her strength and resolve towards herself but also her loyalty towards Harley
If they don’t get back together, I do think Hazel will be sad, but not cripplingly so. She would be the first person to say she isn’t the same as she was a year ago, let alone however long it was ago that her and Harley were together. I think it would loosen a tie between her and the Capulets, if there was one, but also loosen the tie between her and Verona. I sort of see it ( them not being together ) as a reason not to stay.
It would cement to her that she wasn’t the person who fell in love with Harley. She’s different, she’s someone new. And that’s not a bad thing. I think it would be almost a relief actually, to know that she's changed. I would hope that they’d still be friends and would get to know each other for who they are now. Hazel wants to be excited for who she is now and what all that she believes in.
I’m still petrified of going broke: Hazel never imagined being in crippling debt, not to a college in the United States, and definitely not to a bank controlled by a mob in Italy. But here she is. This is her life. Is it worth it to stay ? What if she ran home to her parents, embracing their help and their charity until she found her footing once again ? She could do it. Would Verona follow ? She doesn’t think so. But guilt would. She made her bed, shouldn’t she lie in it ? Maybe running wouldn’t do any good, so maybe she should find purpose in Verona. It could start with a job. It could continue with getting out of debt and earning her freedom once more. Then, she could further repent beyond confession with charity and good deeds. Maybe she can set themselves on a godly path once more someway somehow.
To stay: I think Hazel wants to stay because it’s new. It’s beautiful and freeing to be so independent. She’s learning about the world, about herself, and, importantly, she feels closer to God here. She’d have more reason to stay if she had Harley, she’d have more reason to stay if she became better friends with those she’s found friendship ( acquaintanceship ? ) with.
Felipe: You don’t forge documents for someone without at least feeling a little loyal to them ! I imagine Hazel is keen to remain in touch with them, to know they’re safe. Also, she told her whole life story to him. If that doesn’t add up to friendship ( in her mind, at least ), then what does ?
Ajax: Listen. I just have thoughts about these too. They could become BEST FRIENDS. Obviously, that’s Hazel with her rose-colored glasses talking through me. I just imagine she feels close to him ( with him viewing her as a sister-like figure, I imagine it’s reciprocal ).
Also please note that above I said Hazel wants to stay. Despite her debt and moral quandaries, she still wants to be in Italy. That’s how she’s feeling right now.
I think staying will impact her self-confidence. She is enough. She is strong and brave in ways she never quite imagined. I think she’ll discover more about humans, the longer she stays in Verona ; rather, she’ll learn more about their particularities and peculiarities — who they are, their beliefs, their loyalties. That’s something that struck me particularly about Hazel, she’s always learning and she’s eager to do so, not just about herself but the world and the people in it, too.
To not stay, in no particular order: there’s a war between the Capulets and Montagues going on and she’s somehow gotten involved. She’s in debt. Her ex is here.
I think if she got hurt, saw someone get hurt, or knew someone closely who got hurt, she might be convinced to leave. Harm isn’t something she wants to be around. She doesn’t want it to happen to her and she doesn’t want to see someone be affected.
Ultimately, though, it boils down to fear. If she’s scared of her life being at risk, she might consider it time to flee.
I think this would ultimately cause her to shelter herself further. She’ll seek the familiar, her family and childhood home, perhaps, or somewhere with a heavily-religious population. Either way, she’ll fall back on her faith and the familiar, finding comfort in what she already knows, trusts, and believes in.
Are you comfortable with killing off your character? |
What is life without a little risk ? Kill her if you have to. Let’s go for maximum angst and maximum pain.
IN DEPTH
What is your favorite place in Verona?
The cathedral and its pews seemed awfully lonely and awfully cold, and Hazel wondered if one without god in their hearts would simply freeze if they stepped inside. It seemed foolish to wonder such a thing, but the cathedral was such a sacred and holy place. What good came to outsiders who stepped inside ? To come there was to seek God. It had to be for that purpose and that only. “ I found the Cathedral in my first days here — but saying it like that makes it seem like I wasn’t aware of it before I moved. ” Her head was tilted askew, her eyes not upon whom she spoke to, instead stuck on the multicolored panes of the stained glass windows. “ It was one of my reasons I chose Verona, actually. I — I needed a place I knew I’d be able to find God. ”
There was something that felt like home in a church. Hazel had never much enjoyed labeling a place as such, but the wooden pews were as familiar as her father, the velvet kneelers soft and comforting as her mother’s hand on her cheek. She’s staring down at her feet now, half-embarrassed and half feeling like she’s revealing her inner soul. “ This — it’s unlike the church I grew up in in a thousand ways, but I still know what to expect here. I know the prayers and the rites, the taste of communion on my tongue. I come here and find the familiar when I’m feeling lost. ”
What does your typical day look like?
“ It’s really not that interesting, I’ll have you know. ” She shrugged her shoulders, brows raised, fingers reaching up to push long strands of hair behind her ears. “ I wake up when the sun peeks through my window and I eat breakfast. Usually coffee and a bread of some sort. I’m a real sucker for a good cornetto, honestly. ”
“ I’m a morning person so I try to get as much done before noon, otherwise I consider the day to be a wash. I — I have a lot of papers to work on. ” She doesn’t elaborate, nor does she plan to. The papers, the forgeries, take up so much of her time and effort. She has to be perfect and precise with them, fear of what would happen if she wasn’t has gripped her so strongly that she’s woken in the middle of the night with a cold sweat slicking her body. “ I can get lost in my work. I guess I can be a bit of a perfectionist. ”
She nodded to herself, thinking of what comes next. Her eyes flicked towards the window, towards the people below. For a second, she’s lost in her staring. She couldn’t help but think that people-watching was becoming a lost art. “ I like having my afternoons open to wander and explore. I’m still getting to know the city, and just when I think I’ve got it all figured out, I find something new. It’s beautiful and historic. A marvel. ” Her words had turned airy and distant ; her body was there but her mind was somewhere else. “ I didn’t think moving to Verona would involve me working so much. ” She snorted a laugh despite herself. “ I had to invest in a better pair of sneakers a week in, my old ones were falling apart. ”
“ I usually go to church every day, too, if not every other day. It’s a chance to think and check in with myself. With God.”
Again, she’s shrugging. “ It’s not exciting, okay ? I’m not — exciting. I never have been. I don’t think I’d want to be either ? ”
Silence hung.
“ I call my parents in the evening. It’s afternoon back in Colorado. Usually I can catch them in their free time. Then it’s dinner. Then bed by nine. ”
She feels like she’s being judged. She doesn’t like it.
What has been your biggest mistake thus far?
A loaded question.
Does it mean since coming to Verona or within her entire life ? Her mind is reeling with possibilities of answers. She thinks of a beautiful girl she couldn’t give her heart to. She thinks of the Montagues, who she’s ended up helping in return for paid debts. One seems like the obvious answer, bigger than the other.
Her heart says otherwise.
“ I hurt a girl who didn’t deserve it. ” Her lip curls with self-disgust. “ I couldn’t not do what I did, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to hurt her. If I could have done it gentler I would have, but hearts ache. It’s what they’re meant to do. There was no avoiding it. ”
She rests her head in her hands and talk through her fingers.
“ I don’t like hurting people. It doesn’t feel good. ”
What has been the most difficult task asked of you?
This — this — is the easiest question asked. There is no doubt in Hazel’s mind when she answers. “ If there is a gun pointed at me when I’m told to do something, that goes to the top of the list. ” She leans back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest. It’s such a loaded question. How could they expect her to say anything else ? “ It’s like this. I’m good at forging things. I have to do it. This added pressure, though, it makes me feel like I’m drowning, okay ? I’ve never done it where so much was at stake, where it’s been my life on the line. ” Her jaw is clenched, trembling slightly. “ I just feel like I really played myself, you know ? I fell for a trick and into a trap, and the next thing I know is that I’m staring into the mouths of lions. ”
What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?
Her face flushes as more time passes. She doesn’t like being considered ignorant, but as time passes and no words spill from parted lips, it’s clear that she doesn’t have much to say. “ I don’t know much about it. ” She speaks slowly and carefully, considering. “ All I know is that it scares me, and I’m on the precipice of falling into it. ” Isn’t she ? She’s forging for the Montagues. That makes her involved with one side of the war, if not both by association. Still, she wants to stay away from most of it, if she can. “ I don’t know what’s started it, and I know that hate and rage has kept it going. I’m scared of being touched by its bloodshed. No good can come from being involved. ”
Extras:
HEADCANONS
001. Of the few things she brought with her to Verona, very likely her dearest possession, is a pearl and crystal Holy Rosary she received after completing her confirmation from her parents.
002. She learned she had a penchant for forgeries in high school. It started with a signature missed from her parents. Her few friends caught on and asked for a few favors. It ended as quickly as it started, guilt eating at her core. But it always seemed to come back. In college, a doctor said they would fax over a note that would grant her an extension for certain assignments. When they didn’t, Hazel did it herself, making a pastiche out of old notes and documents from the practice. That wasn’t lying, was it ? It had meant to be done by the doctor anyway. But she was offered money a few more times when others found out what she could do. She always found herself feeling a pit in her stomach, deciding the possibility of being blackmailed if she said no was worse than the acts of fraud itself. She thought post-college that it would stop. No more trickery and fooling others. And then she ended up in Verona with debt weighing her down, letters sent to her asking for payments nearly everyday. She went to the bank with a letter, signed by the head of the bank itself, saying she had been granted an extension. Most didn’t bat an eye. It looked good, it looked real. Perhaps the extension was too generous because she was caught. Instead of pursuing legal options against her, an offer was laid at her feet. Make some forgeries, lose your debt. How could she say no ?
003. She has a favorite coffee shop just outside of the little apartment she’s living at. She goes there for breakfast. Sometimes she orders extra pastry to have them at home. She’s considered asking for a job there. Something real. Something legal. Something with low risk.
004. She calls her mother frequently. To not worry her, she says everything is fine, just dandy and golden. It’s a white lie, the teensiest of things, but it’s to her parents. Surely God would understand that she wishes to not stress them out.
PINTEREST BOARD
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
This is the third part of a long story. What follows was told to me by a customer, and the issues he discusses -- art and character -- are things that I, too, have been thinking about. I have been thinking about them enough that I went on what could be described as a pilgrimage, and I will discuss that in the fourth part of this story.
This, however, is his story. After he told me, I asked him to put it in writing. It is about someone named Bill and someone named Ted, and although I once met two men by those names (see the previous post) I am unfamiliar with the individuals he discusses here.
* * * * *
I grew up in the age of 8-track tapes. Remember 8-tracks? I saw one in your shop once, you know. One 8-track tape, just sitting on a shelf. Not important, I guess, but yeah. The great thing about 8-tracks was that you could play them in your car. I started buying 8-tracks long before I even had a car, just because I was looking forward to the day, when I'd be sitting there in my own car, looking cool, popping in a 8-track and cruising around town, and probably I'd have a really cool car, like a Plymouth Barracuda, or an AMC Javelin.
Anyway, 8-tracks: I had a whole cabinet full of them. Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Kansas, REO Speedwagon, Nazareth. But you know who I really loved? Ted Nugent. He was a fantastic guitarist. He was precise and lightning fast, and his songs had fun, catchy rhythms. Lots of the lyrics were crass and sorta vulgar, but you didn't care, because you knew it was all just a little silly. I mean, how can you get all worked up about a song called Cat Scratch Fever? You didn't expect anything thoughtful or eloquent from Ted Nugent. You just expected lots of energy and good guitar. That was Ted. You didn't take him seriously, because hey, he was just being Ted.
Meanwhile, there was also Bill.
Bill was Bill Cosby. He was a brilliant comedian, and the ironic thing is that great comedians are serious. Underneath all the jokes, there's something genuine. Good comics point out the strange things that we do without thinking, and they remind us that we're all kind of nuts. I had an 8-track tape of Cosby, too. Can't remember the name of it now, but he talked about the Revolutionary War, talked about Superman, talked about Noah getting instructions to build the ark... all kinds of stuff. Cosby was hilarious. He had these wonderful stories about his brother, and his parents, and then later on he had brilliant routines about being a father. A while after that, in the Eighties, he had a TV show. It was warm and funny and thoughtful. In the Eighties, TV didn't get much better than that show.
Now, I've never been particularly interested in celebrities, beyond the thing that made them celebrities. By that I mean, if someone was a good musician, I was interested in their music, but nothing else. I couldn't care less about what kind of exotic sports car they drove, or their supermodel spouse, or whatever. If I had paid a little more attention, maybe I wouldn't have been so disappointed later on. All I knew about Ted Nugent was his music. I started to lose interest because he started to get repetitive, and when the guitar didn't hold your interest, you noticed the lyrics more. And once you've heard the words to "Wango Tango," you can't unhear them. You're gonna wonder if the guy singing them has regressed to a mental age of 12 or 13. Even so, the crappy music he did later didn't erase the good music that he did earlier, right?
Here's the weird thing, though: Somewhere along the way, people started listening to what Nugent said, even when he wasn't talking about music. He was babbling nonsense about how war was coming to America, and how he'd would wind up dead or in jail if Obama got re-elected... weird, batshit-crazy gibberish. But apparently a lot of people thought he made sense, and conservatives started trotting him out for rallies and conferences. It was weird as hell.
And meanwhile, there's Cosby: Cosby, who seemed like the polar opposite of Nugent, until we found out that he'd been drugging and molesting women for decades. We'd been looking at his work as a comedian, and we thought we knew him. We felt betrayed when we found out that the actor had only been acting.
Bogus, right? Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. The short trip from being respected to being reviled. But that brings us to an important question: Can we separate their work from everything else? And is that even something that we should do?
Maybe we have to realize that art and artists are separate and distinct, and they have to be judged differently. A work of art -- whether it's a song, or a painting, or a monologue about giving your kids cake for breakfast -- that work can stand alone. You hear two songs by the same artist, and you love one and hate the other. That's OK. The existence of the lousy song doesn't change anything about the great one. Every work of art succeeds or fails on its own merits, and in that sense, art is simple.
Artists, on the other hand, are complicated. People are complicated. We have to judge artists the same way we judge everyone else. We'll find that they have virtues and faults, just like the rest of us. But once we've seen someone's dark side, it's not easy to ignore. I still have an old CD of Nugent's first album, but I can't listen to it anymore, because it just makes me sad to think about what he's become. The same with Cosby. I remember laughing so hard at some of his old routines, but if I listened to them now, knowing what I know, it wouldn't be the same.
What makes this even harder is that there's this little voice in the back of my head, asking: Is this fair to them? To Bill and Ted, I mean. See, when you admire someone, you don't want to know about their flaws. And when dislike someone, you don't want to know about their virtues. Once you decide you're ready to write someone off, the last thing you want to do is to admit that there might still be some good somewhere inside them.
That little voice keeps reminding me: You're not perfect either. I'd love to be able to say that I'd never done a bad thing in all my life, but I can't. If I'm going to be judged, I want to be judged on everything. Take the bad into consideration, because yeah, sometimes I've fucked up. But I think I've done a few good things, too, and if your verdict is going to be fair, you need to consider as much evidence as you can.
I don't mean that everybody gets a free pass, so long as they did something good at some point in their life. But I do think that if you want to know where someone stands, you need to be able to trace all their steps. The good, the bad, the ugly, and all the stuff in between... it's all part of the same journey.
* * * * *
After he told me this, I realized that there were certain ideas that I had been struggling with for a very long time. I began thinking about a particular story, and a particular person.
One reason that I love bookstores is that they are the perfect place to ponder ideas. Being surrounded by books inspires us to think beyond the here and now. In this instance, however, I realized that there would be a better place to think about the things I needed to consider. In this case, I needed only one book.
I grabbed the book, closed the shop, and headed out the door. I needed to visit a place called Graceland.
#bill and ted#bill and ted's bogus journey#art#artists#bill cosby#ted nugent#forgiveness#celebrity#morality#this is part 3#a story in four parts
12 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
kwoomochi
My Friends Think I Can Draw
optimistictigerruins-blog1
Malavika
nashidhaimuhamadi
Nashidhaimuhamadi | نشیدهای محمدی
zaunkids
oh look who it is!