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#Literally just realised it while I was drawing this
zordanna · 2 days
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𝓑𝓲𝓻𝓭𝓲𝓮
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A fluffy fic inspired from this old drawing I did🍃
English is not my first language and I hate writing so don’t expect too much. It’s just a small scene where Sebastian realises he’s in love with my MC, you can imagine yours there too of course! I ain’t stopping you🫡 enjoy I guess?
Sebastian yawned softly as he kept silently reading his history of magic notes while sitting on the carpet and resting his back on the couch, Eleonora was next to him laying fully on it while reading the chapter trying really hard to not fall asleep.
“Ugh I swear I’m failing this time”
She mumbled while flipping pages. Sebastian rolled his eyes and spoke back with annoyance.
“You literally have the highest grades of all the students in our class, shut up-”
Eleonora huffed and gave him a soft nudge with her knee in response.
“Just because the competition prefers wandering in the restricted section more than studying actual subjects. You know- instead of  forbidden ones”
Sebastian groaned and rested his head on the couch seat cushion to look at her better.
“You are a pain in the ass.” He breathed out glancing back at his notes pretending to ignore her.
“The feeling is mutual”
She ruffled his brown curls gaining a soft laugh from him , the boy rested one cheek on the  cushion and gazed at her while his notes ended up spread around the intricated embodied carpet of Russel  living room. Sebastian  glanced at the book and got an idea.
“I can read it for you, if you want, so we both learn something at least”
His proposal sounded quite nice to Eleonora, she gave him the book and set herself comfortable as he cleared his throat. He started reading and he could almost feel her gaze caressing his skin, Sebastian didn’t know how he managed to say the words correctly without fumbling while having that lovely pair of blue eyes staring at him, the warmth of her presence, her sweet scent of lavender and soap pervading his nostrils…Merlin help him!
On the other side Eleonora’s eyes were looking at his freckles, she always thought they looked like a starry sky , sometimes she would find full constellations in them while stealing glances at her friend’s features. She  glanced  at his lashes, was it even legal to have them so long and soft? The way they fluttered while he was  reading, the way the sun was making them shine with a warm orange shade. She was mesmerised. That’s for sure. The words sounded like a sweet lullaby rather than an actual lecture on how their ancestors channeled magic trough the years, her eyes felt heavy and her body a little too relaxed. 
Maybe if she closed her eyes just for a second…yeah that should do it.
Sebastian was reading the last paragraph when he heard  soft snoring coming from his right side ,he turned his head a little to check on Eleonora and a warm smile formed on his lips as he realised she had fallen asleep. He closed the book putting it away before adjusting himself leaning closer to the sleeping girl. He rested his elbow on the couch cushion careful to not disturb her rest, as usual Eleonora needed her afternoon nap.
Memories of their third year flashed in his mind, rainy afternoons spent napping all together on the same couch down in the undercroft between a mess of books and unfinished candies. Anne was still…well Anne. No curse, no pain just Anne, sleeping peacefully while her tiny head would rest on Ominis shoulder as he was  nestled up almost like a cat. Eleonora’s long blonde hair would tickle his nose as he often found himself using her soft curls as a pillow. They always smelled so good it wasn’t his fault they felt so comfy.
Instinctively Sebastian brushed off some of her blonde strands that were framing her face, very carefully as if she was made of porcelain. Her long blonde curls that once were left wild and free were now tied up in that blue ribbon he gifted her almost two years ago.
“You keep wearing it all the time mh?”
He mumbled softly more to himself than to her. The soft blue satin fabric was a bit smudged near the knot after years of wearing it every day, that’s what happens with the things you love most isn’t it? They change. 
Sebastian always questioned why she would refuse to buy another one, a prettier one maybe made from the most expensive silk with embodied details but she always said that one was just perfect. She loved it.
And he loved how beautiful she looked with it. He loved the way it always made her eyes stand out matching their colour, he loved how it swayed like a swallowtail when she would rush around the hallways late for classes trying to not trip on other students. Swallows are a sign of hope and freedom, he was certain that if she had to be an animal she would be one of them. She was always there trying to see the good side of everything, which in his darker days was both infuriating and yet comforting. It was reassuring  having her slapping some sense in his thick skull sometimes, he couldn’t deny it.
He also loved that, her scolding tone, her stubbornness and resolution whenever he was acting like a complete ass. He loved the way she would ruffle his hair to annoy him, he loved how her soft hands were making him feel butterflies flying around his stomach every damn time…
Sebastian’s chocolate brown eyes were fixed on Eleonora’s delicate face as the sudden realisation hit him like a whole bombarda in his chest.
He was falling in love. No. He was in love. Utterly. Undeniably in love. 
He didn’t realise his face was few centimetres away from hers till now, his lips dangerously close to hers. Before doing something stupid and reckless he pulled away slightly and took a moment to gain his composure, his eyes wandered around the luxurious living room of her family’s manor, the paintings of the Russels were almost staring at him, judging him with their cold gaze.
Who was he trying to fool? He was nobody compared to her family, an orphan living in a cottage with his grumpy uncle, it would never be fair to her. Knowing her parents Eleonora had probably her life planned since day one, as her older sister Ofelia once told him they lived in a golden cage with all comforts but still a cage. It was all doomed from the start so- for now it was better to suppress those feelings. To pretend they never had been there.
For now having her friendship was more than he could hope for, Sebastian looked at the big wood carved clock and checked the time, it was getting pretty late, he sighed and with a soft spoken tone called for her.
“Hey…Birdie”
The world would never want them together, that’s what he was telling himself, yet when he saw those blue eyes and that warm sleepy smile greeting him Sebastian thought that the world could burn or destroy itself in that exact moment.
The world would know Lady Eleonora Russel but Birdie. Birdie was just for him and that was all he needed.
“Birdie? What am I a chicken?”
Eleonora said with a snort while sitting up and stretching a bit letting a yawn escape her lips.
“No more like a goose.”
Sebastian retorted with a cheeky grin. She had no idea of what passed by his mind all the short time she was asleep.
“Ouch- did I snore loud?”
“Terribly. I mistaken you for a troll or something at some point.”
Eleonora laughed at  the statement and crossed her arms in a proud stance. 
“Was I annoying you?”
“Terribly.” Sebastian said faking an exasperated sigh.
“Good. I can consider my mission accomplished then”
She added with a chuckle while they both got up to walk towards the kitchen for stealing a snack or two. Luckily her parents wouldn’t be back till next early morning considering their habit to attend balls and ceremonies  maintaining their high social status connections. That was a relief for the two of them but also for the servitude. The house elves were quite fond of Eleonora, a true ray of sunshine in that toxic household.
The afternoon passed by with their usual playful bantering like any other. It was better pretending nothing happened for Sebastian, it was for the best really.
Was it? Only time would tell. For now they were just fifteen, sitting on the kitchen counter munching a stolen slice of lemon tart while yapping about how they were both convinced Professor Garlick was hiding “special plants” somewhere in the greenhouse. 
It was a normal  spring afternoon during the end of the 19th century.
Flowers were blooming , birds were chirping and the air smelled like clean laundry and soap.
Winter was just a distant thought, none of them could ever imagine how everything  would irreversibly change in few months.
Moments like these would be soon turned into distant faded happy memories but for now…it was all that mattered.
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prylc · 3 months
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Ok so, this wasn't commissioned or drawn as a sample for my YCH but I just felt like drawing em sooo
I drew em over my base cause why not :D I need to practice drawing hats anyways
If you want to get your own, join my raffle or commission me for $9.99!
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marsbotz · 5 days
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my new fursona btw. i actually picked a drsign finally. do you love him
#im actually drawing soemthing again finally guyyysssss. you see the wip -> on the right#IGNORE THE TABBY IMAGES LAWLLLLL i cba to redraw so i just recoloured the old design i made a little while agao#i hope wveryone is doing well …….. i havent but its ok im like cured again rn#ITS OK i got more meds today and i start therapy properly on mondayyyyyyy ^_^#i miss you guyssss i miss u all. butttttttt i cant come back seriously like properly#guys i have so many exams coming up -_- BOREDDDDDD. BORED but its ok in like 3 weeks i will b done and then i can draw and game forever#oops i cant switch tags arounf on here but forgot to saw#i realised i just super love b&w animals soooo i did it for my fursoba. and it fits my well. dichotomy theme i have in my head#ong tho awesome news. the place im gonna b working next yr knows im trans cus i emailed abt my name chanfe in the system#andddd they r super cool abt it like they emailed my lecturer to dbl cgeck my name and probouns#guys this might be like the first time in my entired life i get called the right name AND pronouns. how epic#btw i ammmm kinda going back to it/he/they LAWL#cba to change my bio rn but know this. not thet it matteres#ive been watching lots of twitch streams recently and especially vinnyyyyyyy vinnayyy vinesus. vinny my dearly beloved#im so happy he streamed early today so i actually got to watch a whole stream LIVEEEE. notmally he streams in the middke if the night for m#gifgling kicking my feet. bijnnjeeyyyyyyyyyy#okat BYEEEEE. BYE#i will post the finishes wip when i get round to ittttt 💖💖💖💖💖 bye#I LITERALLY FORGOT HOW TO DRAW GUYS ITS SO SAD. ok nightttttr
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radioactivebeggars · 1 year
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art dump from jan to may it ain't much but it's a honest work
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oifaaa · 1 year
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Honest to God starting following you for your art cuz I loved the dynamics, the AUs, the fact they feel like siblings. (The art with Cass climbing on Jason is currently my favorite) it wasn't until you called yourself out that I'm like "Oh, their hands are weir" but the Lanterns AU with Star Sapphire Jason shit talking Bruce is my favorite comic ever.
It's the palms I keep making them longer then they should be and I don't know why your palm should be the same length as your middle finger just another example of me being lazy, I think the reason I like drawing the batfam specifically tho is bc I understand their sibling dynamic and relate to it alot like them my family also all hate each other and is the most dysfunctional toxic thing you've ever seen
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thesadboy · 5 months
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Flutterkids with their love interests, aka, two of the few “canon” couples among my next gen honses.
Buck Wings and Angie keep their relationship a secret, since they want privacy, so no one else knows about them. On the other hand, Summersong’s open about being Eclipse’s girlfriend and their loved ones support the two deeply (their families being friends probably helped).
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astranauticus · 6 months
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scrolled through my art tag on impulse and i have not drawn a single fanart of like, VR-LA + somebody else that isn't at least implicit angst. there might be something wrong with me????
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krisget-thebanana · 1 year
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Wh. What do you mean it’s been six hours. I’m barely even done with the sketch.
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rragnaroks · 1 year
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so i lost my drawing tablet's stylus a month ago and i've given up on looking for it and ordered a new one instead because i can no longer stand not to be drawing david suchet's eyes. bitch what
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chisatowo · 1 year
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Gm I forgot to take my melatonin supplements last night and as a consequence I now have deep backstory hcs for deep cut. And by that I mean for Shiver, Frye and Big man had pretty normal lives fkgndjd
#rat rambles#splat posting#I rly rly dont like ex octarian soldier shiver hcs but I think it could be interesting for them to still be from octo valley#without going too deep into my worldbuilding hcs I imagine that their family sort of split up turing the great turf war#so some of them were pushed into the underground like the rest of the octarians while some found shelter with the other two hero families#I just cant imagine that literally all octarians were forced underground to begin with and I feel like its especially possible for such a#culterally relevant family to be able to find some allies willing to help them wait out the worst of things#I also just feel like its implied that octarians have like been around in greater inkling society before octo expansion#and I dont just mean ppl like marina I mean octarians that have potentially always lived outside the underground#like that diss pair octoling I feel like at most his parents would have had to left before he could remember#I just feel like it would make logical sense for octolings and tbh octarians as a whole to not have literally all been shoved underground#anyways back to shiver long story short they were put under a lot of pressure to be the most flawless at not only shark taming and stuff#but also as a political figure since I imagine the half that went underground probably have to serve a pretty strong political role#but I also imagine the two halves have some contact but its become more strained over the years as the two picked up different ideals#but yeah after shiver learned of the other half and started to also crack under the pressure they were like yknow what fuck this#so at around 13 he snuck out along with master mega which was a troublesome ordiel but didnt draw enough attention to go too badly#and they showed up to the town the rest of their family lived in and they were like holy cow kid ur so good with that shark already woa#and they accepted them without much difficulty leaving shiver to relax and by relax I mean imedietely explode from the change in emviorment#and then abt a year later big man and frye came to crash on their couch leaving to them initially being the grumpy old man of the trio but#eventually the other two help them realise that being stupid is fun so they throw away their braincells#well more like big man has a whole character arc abt independance and such and then helps shiver learn to loosen up s biy#while frye is sitting in a corner being a nerd and trying to learn shiver's dialect of octarian since theyve only ever heard the outer#version from this half of shiver's family#and shiver is having to learn like 50 different laguages gjfbdjf#but yeah I hc that frye has a big interest in linguistics which is why even though frye and big man used to only interact for like a week#each year frye still went out of her way to becomr fluent in understanding big man's language#but like on a deeper level too since I imagine most in the greatwe world at large probably have to learn at least 2 or 3 laguages in their#lifetime thanks to the wide variety of animals theyre having to commune with on a day to day basis#god I am getting off track as shit why do I have to base so much of my hcs on even more worldbuilding hcs fhdjdhj#aaand now Im out of tags shit just know they all have character arcs and shit then move to splatsvile ok by
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indigo6f00ff · 1 year
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finally was able to start a (digital) drawing, so have a WIP post + bonus starting sketches
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the-fluff-piece · 7 months
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Hi! .u. Can we get Zoro, Law, and Ace reacting to reader saying "You're so hot." but it being a misunderstanding because the reader meant it literally? I mean in the crushing stages, not while in a relationship.
Hi u 2!
I turned it into three short scenes full of misunderstanding and silliness, hope you like it!
Telling them "You're so hot - but you mean it literally!"
Sfw funny cute scenes about clueless and silly Law, Ace and Zoro
Ace
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As you stand next to him, he gets really nervous. Like...really. He accidentally starts burning. Just a bit
"Wow Ace, you're so hot" you say, laughing. Ace gets hotter. He puts a cocky grin on his face and leans over you.
"Oh girl, you must be charcoal because you make me really hot!" He drops his absolutely stupid pick up line.
"What?" You say.
"What?"he says.
"You're literally burning a hole in the planks STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" you point to the smouldering wood where he leans against the ship.
His face literally catches on fire and he runs away, puffing clouds of smoke like a train.
Law
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"Woah, Law! You're so hot!" You say.
"Uhm...thanks?" His eternally grumpy face crumbles a bit and reveals a lopsided smile.
"No, I mean your literally so, so hot!" You say with urgency. You're not even sure if his red cheeks are from the fever he undeniably has or if he really is flattered.
"Uhm, OK, I guess" He comes to sit next to you, really close. His thin shirt radiates with heat.
Very slowly, his hand creeps up to yours and softly squeezes. His palm is really clammy, sweaty.
"Law, you should really get to bed!" You tell him, but squeezing back.
"Whoa, so you're proposing that we..!" Law says, now a deep crimson and shaking a bit. "It's so fast, but I like it" He smiles. And yawns. He looks exhausted.
You decide that it's time to call the cavalry.
"BEPO, LAW IS REALLY HOT, GET IN HERE!" You scream for help.
"Y/n...you're so naughty! Getting another man to be with us..." Law said before collapsing.
Zoro
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"Zoro, you're so hot!" You say.
"Thanks, finally someone appreciates my style" he poses in front of you with his swords.
Literal heat radiates from his body - it seems he's taken training to the next level.
"You're not so bad either" He gives you a lewd look, making you blush.
"How about we get a drink together" He tries to take your hand, but he's actually so freakishly hot that you scream "ouch!", drawing your hand away.
"Fuck I really am hot!" He realises what you meant and runs toward the reiling.
"But let's get that drink anywayyyy" He shouts on his way to cool down.
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need-a-name-101 · 1 month
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You know in that episode of how I met your mother where they find out that Barney always looks good in pictures no matter what. Yeah that’s Dick Grayson. No doubt.
A paparazzi is trying to catch him off guard while he suddenly sneezes, later they check the camera it’s Dick with the most dazzling smile.
Jason tries to take a picture of him when he is barely conscious, Dick is smiling with a peace sign and he looks good.
Tim on purpose collides with Dick in manor with hot coffee in his hands to have it spill down on Dick’s white shirt, Babs clicks a picture as Dick is telling Tim it’s okay. In the picture yes the shirt has spilt coffee but Dick looks poised and handsome.
Jason makes a deal with Damian to have Dami paint Dick’s face as he sleeps. They proceed to click a picture, Dick is on the sofa in a pose, laying on his side with a hand on his hip and the other supporting his head.
Wally tries to take a picture mid vomit, and boom there stands Dick Grayson with disheveled look, which looks as if done on purpose. (It wasn’t Wally knows, at the start of the night it was slicked back) and the top buttons of the shirt open, Dick is giving a blinding smile to the camera. No vomit in sight.
Jason draws penises on Dicks face, when he looks back on the picture. He face is clean, Dick is giving the camera a lopsided smile and when Jason looks up Dick is no longer there.
Steph tries to click a picture when Nightwing losses his balance and slams face first into a wall. Some blood drips down from his nose and yet he looks poised. He is giving the camera a thumbs up.
Duke tries to get one as a thug tries to slam Dick on the hood of the car. In the picture Nightwing is perched on the thugs back, whose face was smashed on the hood of the car by Dick.
Cass tried to take one when Dick nearly chocked on some food at a gala. When she looks at the picture it’s Dick holding a glass of Champagne (he was not holding that before) and leaning on the wall beside him.
Tim looks back on all his stalker photos he had taken and realises it’s the same case in all of them. He has one photo in which Robin Dick had fallen in Gotham Harbour and was soaking wet, still in the photo he looked sort of posed, straight back, a slightly tilted head.
Cass breaks in Dick’s apartment to catch him off guard. Dick had just woken up. She clicked a picture and it’s Dick in a shirt and shorts, in the perfect I just got out bed look. But he had just literally gotten out of bed.
Babs tried to take one as Dick just got out of a shower when they were dating. He walked out with a towel around his waist, and he was drying his hair with another towel. In that he didn’t even pose, the photo just looked fucking amazing.
She even went back and saw all the pics they had when they were in school and In all Dick looked great. Even the one she had managed to click when she and Dick had messed up a chemistry experiment because they were talking and parts of Dicks lab coat were signed.
Bruce banned taking photos on patrol because all of them tried to take a picture of Nightwing as he fought some low level thugs. Which lead to robin getting distracted as he tried to take a picture while grappling and hit a wall. Red Hood forgot to switch off his flash which lead to his position being revealed , and he got shot. Red Robin lost balance and fell of a gargoyle. Spoiler got distracted while sneaking around and blew their positions. On the rare occasions when Signal was with them he tried to take a picture and walked right into the drug deal they were about to bust surprising the criminals. Orphan got distracted and nearly got hit on the head. Even Oracle got distracted while trying to get embarrassing pictures of Nightwing while she was supposed to be finding a bank robber. She found the robber but not the a single embarrassing moment of Nightwing. No one had gotten the picture they were trying to click.
Even Bruce has no idea how Dick pulls it off. He refuses to partake in this silly competition set up by his kids. The betting pool is so huge that it involves all of Dick’s friends, the JLA and most of the people in the caped community. The money in the pool by now must be more than what Bruce makes in a year.
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adams-angels · 3 months
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Adam sfw/nsfw hcs? I love your work! Thanks!!
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
SFW
I'm gonna start off strong by saying socks and sandals. Thinks it's great.
Will stop listening when he's losing an argument. Stutters and minces up his words if he gets flustered or too aggravated.
Lute is his best friend
Says he has tons on friend but in reality lute is his only friend
This man thinks he's higher up in the food chain than he actually is. Which then leads to weak apologies from him
Doesn't go anywhere without his mask. Really big believer in that he doesn't like showing his face because both his wife's left him
Still absolutely bitter about that btw
Has an unhealthy coping mechanism when it comes to jealously.
For example, your an angel and some newbie starts talking with you and there's nothing really in it but he opens a portal to hell when your not looking and literally kicks the guy through it before closing the portal.
Or if your a sinner and you're telling him about someone who helped you the other day he will HUNT THEM DOWN next extermination day... If he can wait that long.
Likes getting you lil gifts, key chains, magnets, pins. He'll see a little thing and think that's perfect and wont hesitate buying it for you.
He won't give it to you though. He'll leave it somewhere obvious in his apartment for you to notice and go "oh, that's cute." For him to shrug and say "it's okay. You want it?" It took a while before you actually started accepting gifts this way
In public he will get you the biggest things. Giant teddy bear. New TV. A unicorn. But that's just to show everyone that he spoils you. That no one can treat you as well as him.
Loves lazy days
Also loves it when you preen his wings
Was the kinda guy that didn't have any kind of skin care until he met you and now you're both chilling with facemasks on.
Has panic attacks when he thinks you're going to leave him
When he's not wearing his mask he will not smile. It's really difficult to get him to smile or laugh when he's not wearing a mask.
But he's got the most beautiful smile
You managed you get him to laugh because you fell. What? He's still an asshole.
You couldn't be mad at him. He sounded so happy.
Has dumb pet names for everyone he's close to. Some are cute. Some are absolutely vulger. "Sweetness." "Babe." "Cutie" "cockwarmer." "Adam's dumpster." "Precious."
He's insecure AF baby
Loves hearing you say you love him
Will only tell you he loves you in private.
Would take a very special case for him to say it in public
If you get in a serious argument with him he'll run away in anger. He'll then come back after an hour or so begging you not to leave.
Sorry I really love pathetic Adam. fight me.
Smut below the cut! Minors dni
NSFW
Ik everyone says it's great at sex but I don't think he would be 🤷🏻‍♀️ not at the beginning anyway
I think he's a selfish lover and it takes someone he really cares about to make any changes
Would absolutely finish inside you then fall asleep soz babes
His cock is good tho. Likes it's a biggen. Length and width.
It was probably made to fit perfectly so
At least that's what he says
He won't believe it if you dont orgasm the first time you have sex with him. Everyone else has! Why wouldn't you?!
Well, Adam, they lied, sweetie.
Loves getting his cock sucked.
Asks for it constantly
If he gets in an argument with you he'll probably say "I'm sorry, it's just been so long since I got head."
He loves eating you out. Watching you squirm while his tongue is inside you really gets him going.
Likes you have you sat on his face so he can hold you down
He cried the first time he had sex with you after realising he loves you
Will beg to be loved when he's close to finishing. "Tell me you love me!"
Will get embarrassed after the fact
He was adamant he didn't like you. That you were just hot. But one day found himself jerking to the thought of you and that post nut clarity hit like a freight train.
Loves being praised ofc
Breeding kink. I mean come on. He was made to populate the earth. It was literally his job.
Loves rough sex, being in charge.
Will get possessive during sex
If he's having a bad day he'll be a lot more desperate and a hell of a lot more possessive
"mine" is his favourite word.
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
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Cabin Fever - (Regina George x F Reader) Part 5
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Fandom;
Mean Girls (2024)
Pairings:
Regina George x Reader
Summary:
The students of Northshore go on a school trip for a week in the forest. You end up getting to know the apex predator in a way you’d never seen her before.
Warnings;
Underage smoking, underage drinking, Claustrophobia, homophobia mention
Parts;
Part1// Part 2// Part 3// Part 4// Part 5
“Why the fuck is Regina in your room? Why are you even speaking to her? Dude! Fucking answer me!”
Janis’s voice is so loud down the tiny phone speaker that it makes it buzz like an annoying little mosquito.
You scowl and resist the creeping urge to hang up, and throw your phone far far away, maybe off a cliff. You click the volume down and try and muffle the sound of Janis ranting down the speaker by shoving the receiver deep into your pocket, but it’s too late.
Regina has already left. Her bedsheets are left thrown back and crumpled, she usually fixes the blankets back to perfection so she clearly left in a hurry.
You grab your jacket with a huff and stomp outside the cabin to stand in your usual smoking spot and light a much needed cigarette before putting the phone up to you ear.
Janis is still yelling, finishing a sentence you didn’t hear the start of. Some accusation about alliances with the enemy.
“Fucking hell, Janis! It’s not that big of a deal!” You finally snap.
The phone goes silent. It’s a welcome break but you know she’ll start up again.
“Yeah sure, my best friend suddenly being pals with Regina George, not a big deal.” She snarks. “Can I just remind you, that bitch nearly ruined my life! Is that why you’re ignoring my calls? Because you’re too busy becoming plastic?”
You sigh. “It’s not like that.”
That’s true. You haven’t been morphed into some sort of Barbie doll all of a sudden just because you spent some time with Regina. To be truthful, you realise Regina isn’t really like that either. She’s a little messy, she’s flawed, but you think she’s more perfect like that. Your face softens slightly at the memory of yesterday, her mascara dripping down her cheeks with a big grin plastered on her face. She wears a fake mask to protect anyone from seeing her real personality. You get it. It’s easier to take a rejection when you haven’t really shown your true identity.
Your heart aches to defend her. To tell Janis to back off, but you can’t. She wouldn’t understand.
“Look, she got roomed with me because she got drunk with Gretchen and Karen on the first night so the teachers wanted to split them up.” You explain as calmly as you can while your blood boils beneath the surface.
“So why didn’t you think to mention this when I called last?” She snaps back. She’s caught you there.
“Because I knew you’d go all revenge-crazed and pissed off like this!” You shout back. You hear Janis scoff.
“Whatever, I don’t give a shit about Regina. She literally means nothing to me! Less than nothing, I just want to see that bitch suffer-“
“Then why can’t you stop talking about her!” As soon as the words leave your mouth you regret them.
“Fuck you, man.” She doesn’t even give you a second before hanging up.
You take a long draw of the cigarette that’s spent most of its time burning away between your fingers. You felt guilty about arguing with Janis, she’d been your best friend since the start of high school, and you could still see the pain that Regina had caused was still playing on her. You didn’t know the full details but you knew that Regina had outed her in a cruel way and made her out to be obsessed just so she could be with a boy. But that was a while ago, people can change.
So why hadn’t you been able to tell her that you liked girls when she hinted at it? You couldn’t even trust her fully.
You couldn’t help your mind wandering to where Regina might be. That seems to be all you can think about recently. Regina. You never fell for her Queen Bee attitude, high school drama was boring to you, you’d rather steer clear of it. But this new, playful, carefree side to her? You couldn’t get enough of.
She’s probably snuck off to meet Gretchen and Karen. You were surprised that she’d actually followed rules for once and not gone to meet them yet. Was it because you had been there with her instead? She said last night that she had enjoyed hanging out with you.
How much of the phone call had she heard before she left?
You light another cigarette. It’s not like you to chain smoke like this but you can’t help it when you’re stressed. The smoke whirls out in front of you, lines of wispy grey entangle and then disappear in-front of your eyes.
You head back inside the cabin when you’re done. Regina still isn’t back.
You lift your bedsheets ready to try unsuccessfully to get some sort of rest and find tiny pieces of paper, shredded on your mattress. It’s the drawing Regina took.
She clearly heard more than she was meant to.
You brush it onto the floor, not bothering to collect the tiny scraps, that felt more like little broken pieces of your soul.
When you finally close your eyes you’re back in the clearing. This time you don’t feel afraid and you automatically start scanning the shadows between the trees. A pair of blue eyes catch yours, as usual, but as soon as you take a step forward,the big cat slinks back into the shadows and disappears.
When you wake up, Regina still isn’t back. Your stomach sinks. She probably won’t want to speak to you ever again, you won’t even get a chance to explain.
You know you have to be up and ready in 20 minutes but you don’t want to get out of bed, or risk bumping into Regina.
It’s pretty hot outside and you’re not sure what the activity will be today so you put on a black tank and some loose khaki trousers. Regina must have been back when you were asleep because her bed is made and her cupboard door is left open.
When you go over to the campfire pit, she is already there. She’s standing around with the usual two girls but she’s also next to Shane Oman.
That makes you nauseous. He’s grinning and so obviously checking Regina out.
She starts running her hand up and down his bicep and over his chest, giggling and leaning into him. He’s loving it and has a hand around her waist. You turn around so you don’t have to look at whatever show they’re putting on.
It feels like she’s doing it just to spite you.
Seeing her that close to him makes your stomach knot with jealousy, it shouldn’t, it’s not like you’re together.
“Okay everyone listen up! Today and tomorrow are the last days of camp, so you will be hiking and setting up your own camp for tonight. This will combine all of the skills you have learnt this week!” There’s a dull chatter of excitement as maps are passed around and people start getting into groups.
You secretly hoped you’d be paired in cabin groups so Regina might actually hear you out and stop being so pissed off. It would get her away from Shane too.
Much to your annoyance, you’re told you have to pair up with Regina, Gretchen, Karen and Shane because apparently it’s unsafe to go alone.
You’d actually rather be eaten by a bear.
Each group is given a tent, you’re given two, the teachers tell you Shane has to stay in one separately but you know that won’t happen. You’re hoping you can just keep that tent for yourself. You’re also given other supplies like cooking utensils, scissors, a mallet, rope etc.
Shane offers to carry both tents in a pitiful attempt to seem strong and manly. Regina plays straight into it and makes a big deal out of grabbing Shane’s hand and feeling his arms.
It makes you roll your eyes. You’re sure you see the corners of Regina’s lips curve in a smirk.
You end up carrying one of the tents anyway, it’s pretty heavy but at least it gives you an excuse to stay at the back of the group, it’s not like you’ll have anything to talk to them about.
Regina walks in-front of you with Karen and Gretchen on one side, and Shane on the other. You’re pretty sure everyone has forgotten your existence, apart from Regina perhaps.
She’s wearing a black crop top and baby pink mini skirt, it makes being behind the group kind of worth it.
After about 2 hours you get to a dead end, there’s a large rock ledge with a few crude dips for you to put your hands and feet to climb up. There are thick shrubs either side to stop anyone going around. This must be what they meant by testing the skills you’d learnt.
Regina goes up first, Shane is standing almost directly underneath her and is grinning to himself. It makes your stomach turn. She climbs up easily, and stands with her arms folded impatiently when she gets to the top.
Shane goes up next, again making a big deal of being so manly, he practically jumps from one step to re other up the ledge. It makes you cringe. He looks more like an ape.
Regina catches your expression and as soon as he’s up she’s all over him again. Is this some sort of punishment? But why would she be trying to make you jealous that way?
You go up last. It’s not too high so you’re not really afraid.
“Don’t fall, loser.” Regina spits and the whole group burst out laughing.
It stings but you ignore it and carry on walking behind them once you reach the top. Whatever she’s trying to do, to get under your skin, to piss you off, you’re not going to give her the satisfaction.
You notice Shane’s hand sneak down from her waist towards her ass and Regina visibly stiffens and moves away slightly.
Soon enough you come to a small opening in the rocks, must be the second challenge. Even from behind you see Regina tense up. It’s just a narrow crawl space that likely pops out quickly on the other side. There’s a wall of rock that seems impossible to climb that looks to go on for a while either side.
Shane goes through first, followed by Gretchen and Karen.
“I’m not fucking doing that.” Regina huffs once it’s just the two of you, raising her hands. “I’ll walk around.”
“It looks like you’ll be walking for a while.” You try and reason, but she’s already started walking.
“I’ll come with you.” You’re not sure why you offer. The suns setting slightly and you don’t like the idea of Regina going alone. Even if it is just a few minutes to walk around the obstacle.
You follow behind in silence as she walks along the rock wall, thinking about all the things you wish you could say. I’m sorry about what Janis said, I don’t agree with her. I like hanging out with you, I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out.
You want to reach out and take her hand like she was doing with Shane, especially since now you know how soft she is.
You want to gently cup her face and kiss her, feel her soft lips and be intoxicated by her warm vanilla scent. You want to ask her on a date, maybe go to the movies, take her for a nice dinner, kiss her on the front porch.
All the things she’s probably done, or will do with Shane.
It feels like you’re walking for ages, it’s quite a lot darker than when you started. Regina keeps a quick pace ahead of you. Her face fixed in a permanent scowl.
You finally turn the corner and see the entrance to the small cave.
Nobody is there, they’ve left. How long did it even take you to walk round anyway?
“What the FUCK.” She screams. It’s so loud you swear you see birds scattering off their branches. “What bitches!”
She growls and flops down, sitting on a fallen tree trunk. You can see a glimmer of hurt and confusion in her eyes.
“It’s getting dark. We have one of the tents , we should set up some kind of camp.” You say, dropping the tent bag on the floor.
“Whatever. I’m not helping though.” She huffs. You don’t bother arguing, you can tell she’s hurt and you don’t want to make things worse.
You unzip the tent bag and start pulling out poles. There are no instructions and all of the poles look identical. You start arranging them in a way that sort of resembles a tent, you bend the long metal pole and try to force it into a fabric sleeve of the tent material, you think it’s secure and let go but it pings back up with such a force that the whole structure jumps. You leap back, the metal projectile misses your face by millimetres.
Regina’s watching you with an amused expression. It makes you blush. At least she’s in a better mood.
After about an hour of wrestling with tent fabric and poles, you’ve made a structure. You’re not sure if you can call it a tent, or if it’ll stay up but it provides some cover.
As night draws close it gets significantly colder so you collect some wood and dry grass for a small fire. Luckily you always carry your lighter so it was simple enough to start. Both you and Regina sit opposite sides of the fire, on the floor, the smoke isn’t as thick as the silence between you.
You dig around in your bag, hoping that maybe you packed some supplies from the bag the teachers gave you. The others must have most of the food and cooking equipment.
You did pack one thing
Marshmallows.
You hold the bag up to Regina who giggles and finds two thin sticks for you to roast them on over the fire. Neither of you speak still as you hold the stick, turning it every now and then.
You remember one other thing you packed secretly in your bag, you rifle through again and pull out a small hip flask of vodka and take a swig. With no mixer, the liquid burns all the way down to your stomach, you offer it to Regina who grimaces but takes the flask.
You sit for a while, toasting Marshmallows and passing the hip flask back and forth before one of you is buzzed enough to speak.
“You and Shane make a good couple.” You’re not sure why you even say it, you don’t think that at all. Regina seems tense around him and you’re pretty sure he’s only after one thing.
“I know.” She responds flatly. It’s unconvincing.
You swallow another dreadful mouthful of vodka. It feels like willingly swallowing paint thinner.
“Why did you screw over Janis?”
Her brows furrow, she reaches for the flask and takes a drink. That was definitely the wrong thing to say but the vodka makes words tumble out before your brain has a chance to screen them.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I guess you think I’m a bad person.” She doesn’t meet your gaze and her tone sounds defeated and a little ashamed.
“ I don’t.” You say quickly. “You must have had a reason.”
“Yeah… I did.” She sighs.
You decide not to push it any further.
“Are you looking forward to camp being over?” You decide to try and divert the conversation.
“Not really, there’s not as much pressure here to perform. I don’t like being a bitch you know, it’s just school, it’s survival of the fittest.” She starts “Out here I feel free. I actually miss middle school, I wish I never went to that party, or kissed Janis. I’m sick of everyone thinking I’m fake, nobody treats me like an actual person.”
She looks up at the night sky, a small tear running down her cheek, catching the moonlight which makes it look like a diamond.
“Being with you has felt free.”
Your heart skips a beat. You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol but you get the courage to go and sit next to her. You gently put your arm around her shoulders and she relaxes into you.
You fit together like a puzzle.
You look up and scan the stars with your eyes and find what you’re looking for. You point up to 3 stars in a row.
“There’s Orion’s Belt. Those 3 stars are several times bigger than the sun, and they burn tens of thousands of times brighter.”
Her gaze falls to where you’re pointing.
“It kind of reminds me of you, Karen and Gretchen.” Regina laughs at this. “You shine brighter than anyone else at the school. I know what you mean about just trying to survive, just try not to burn so bright you burn out. You’re perfect enough as you are.”
She sighs, her hand is on your lap now and you struggle to concentrate on the stars.
“And that one sort of looks like a lion” You point up again, Orion’s Belt is the only one you recognise. Luckily this makes her giggle more.
She lifts her head at the same time you turn. She’s so close you can see the stars reflecting in her eyes. In this moment you realise you have two options.
A look of hesitation crosses her face and she starts to pull away.
You make a sudden, probably stupid decision.
As soon as your lips meet you see stars explode behind your eyelids. Her lips are just as soft as you imagined, it takes a second before she’s kissing you back. Her hands reach up and tangle in your hair. It’s gentle and rough all at the same
You pull away. “ I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t-“
She cuts you off with another quick, soft kiss.
“I’m tired, I’m going to sleep.” She says, standing and walking over to the tent which is shockingly still standing.
You’re left, sitting on the ground next to the now dwindling fire, kept warm by the redness in your cheeks. You pull out a cigarette and light it on the smouldering fire.
The star lion in the sky beams down at you.
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kidrat · 11 months
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having feelings about trans Gwen,,, like there's the 'superhero leading a double life' allegory for being closeted, which ppl have noted, but there's plenty I haven't seen anyone mention yet! like, the fact her dad has a trans patch in support of her means she's out.
She's a young trans *girl* (as opposed to a trans woman) living as her authentic gender in a loving home. she went to her school dance in a dress. she did ballet! which of course boys can do too, but often times when people are assigned male they don't get the chance to explore feminine hobbies. It's really lovely that someone, likely Gwen's dad, supported her enough to let her have those girly experiences and memories, whether she was living as a girl when she took dance up or as a gnc boy.
While it's subtle rep, I still think it's awesome to imply a character like Gwen is trans. Trans girls don't always get to have a childhood. Transmisogyny fetishizes transfems and presents them as always victimisers, never victims. They're barred from girlhood and it's connotations of innocence, vulnerability, lovableness.
Not that Gwen isn't a hashtag strong female character! And not that she hasn't had to grow up fast in other ways. She Is Literally Spiderwoman and she plays the drums and has agency and expresses negative emotions. But she's also a teenager, and she gets to be hugged and comforted, and to be set up for a soft friends to lovers relationship with another teenager, a cis boy who respects her and only knows her as a girl and thinks she's amazing and draws her in his sketchbook. That is not a role the media often lets trans girls have!!! It's lovely to think young transfems might be able to see themselves in a character consistently shown as worthy of affection.
Of course, the fact that Gwen is in the closet about being spider-woman is even sadder knowing this is her second rodeo. Lots of us have hesitated to come out a second time because our parents were supportive about the first thing and well, putting something else on them feels like taking the piss or hoping for too much.
Something else I wanted to talk about is how Gwen being trans effects a reading of her Peter's death, especially taking into account the new information this film gave us about this. There's this gendered switch happening, where Peter passes on his usual role to a woman. What's more, he has to die for her story to happen. She loves him, and never wanted him to die, but she's blamed for it anyway. Her father talks affectionately about the dead Peter, calling him his daughter's best friend. He talks about him like a son. He vows revenge on Gwen for killing him. It's a fantastic allegory for how some transphobic parents hate their out trans children for 'killing' the kid they had before.
I think with the above in mind, maybe we can see the subtext of Gwen's arc with her dad in this film as that of a supportive parent who's nevertheless got some biases left that hurt his trans daughter, who doesn't speak up for fear his acceptance is conditional.
I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that protecting a trans daughter is this Captain Stacy's motivation while he's working as a cop. Obviously there's the text that he wants to be a 'good cop' to work against the institution's bigotry, and he displays the trans flag on his work jacket. His quitting the police is a fantastic story beat because it makes a point about the real world while also serving a lot of the analogies going on.
Good cops quit. They realise you can't be a well intentioned cog in a bigoted machine. It doesn't matter if you're a bigot or just taking actions a bigot might because you're working within parameters set by bigots. It's an important message. Within a trans reading of the film, I'd also see this plot moment as Stacy realising he can't protect his trans daughter if he's still playing by the rules of a society that see her as threatening and duplicitous. He's then able to stop seeing her on some level as having killed his son.
They're able to be close again because he has completely rejected the cis culture he was a part of, rather than just decrying the worst parts and slotting Gwen in. She no longer has to worry that he'll rescind his acceptance if she's too trans, and so he gets to know all of her because she can let him into her world without self-editing.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on Gwen after watching Across The Spiderverse two hours ago lmao.
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