Tumgik
#I wonder if that's their real sorting or just gender roles
satanfemme · 1 year
Text
being both gnc and trans is so hard sometimes. it's like, I'll face adversity for being gnc/trans/whatever-strangers-read-me-as, and in addition to the normal base-level difficultly and pain and fear of these experiences, I'll also feel on some level like it's "my own fault" too because this is what I purposefully decided to be.
I often dress/act like a girl but have a deep voice/facial hair/flat chest -- and I opted in for all of those. I spent more money than I can conceptualize in order to medically transition in those ways. while, in theory, I could've saved the money, not transitioned, continued dressing/acting the same way as I do now, and the problem would no longer exist... in theory. ofc logically I know that's not at all how it works. if I hadn't transitioned I would feel even worse. and the way I'd experience & express gender would still be intrinsically different from "cis girl" -- that's true regardless of how my body looks or sounds. which should all go without saying, because I very obviously don't conform to my CAGAB either. if I did I wouldn't be in this mess!! u know?
...but the self-blame is still there, because for better or for worse I did go out of my way to become myself. <- feels like a truism.
#the other big self doubt-y issue I've been experiencing lately re: being gnc and trans#is feeling like I'm ''faking'' something. to sooo many people I've just come out as a femme/nonbinary man#with no mentions of my cagab cause that's not something I like to share around irl lol#and then I complain ofc about how I'm treated for being feminine. and everyone gives me sympathy which is nice#but it's hard to fully accept cause I wonder how many of them are assuming I was shunned the same way growing up.#when in reality I was punished for not being feminine *enough*.#and ik it shouldn't/doesn't matter in this context. I still struggled then and I still struggle now; they don't cancel out#but it almost feels like I ''tricked'' my way into a marginalization that I don't ''actually'' belong in. idk#like as if I'm ''secretly'' a girl and just pretending my normal girlhood is subversive for attention#or like I should have just been content with the relative safety of my assigned social role#(hm... where have I heard ''why can't you just be ok with being a girl?'' and ''they're just doing it for attention'' before 🤔)#it's def leaps of logic & self-directed transphobia all around but it's hard to shake#and there's a real fear somewhere mixed into it all too of ''what if someone finds out my cagab and decides I'm not actually trans/a man -#- by *their* transphobic logic. even if they previous supported me''.#anyway I hope no one minds the long vent-y post. I needed to sort out my emotions here lol#I have an old ''omg I love being confusing and ambiguous XD'' post gaining notes rn for some reason and#seeing it again while mentally working thru the above just made me feel ill and confused and guilty. feeling better now <3#and I do love being trans & I love being a femme & I love being a man with a broad and fluid gender#it's just hard too sometimes
30 notes · View notes
reneezsq · 12 days
Text
forelsket
forelsket (noun.): the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love.
❛ !¡ pairing; aventurine; sunday x gender neutral!reader.
❛ !¡ summary; a heartbeat too irregular, breathing quick and shaky hands sweating under expensive gloves. who could have thought getting attached is as sweet as your favorite dessert ?
❛ !¡ warnings; it is specified for both that reader likes anything with sugar.
❛ !¡ a/n; kinda self indulgent for me and one of my besties cuz she loves aventurine too much and i have a big fat crush on sunday (gotta cuddle the angel and the gambler)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡–,✎ smitten:;
AVENTURINE
. never has he fancied himself over falling head over heels with anyone for the matter. any sort of relationship he could have formed, or bond to a certain extension, with anybody was surely for his own selfish desires. as a way to get over his life the control he lacked for so many years, a hope to regain mastery over himself and feel that for once in his life, all over again, his choices belong to no other than him.
. and at first he loathed the thought of falling in love. he knew all about the wonders it does on one’s mind: taking away their ability to form a coherent speech, the loss of the mastery of your own body and a certain yearning for the person of your affection. it scared him to some degree that if he ever fell in love he would yet lose all over again the freedom he fought to regain.
. at first, your meeting was only supposed to remain as a simple meeting. you were a new recruit to the ipc and he had been appointed with showing you around the main building. he had never planned to stick around too close or to engage in a full conversation. but his plans were thrown out of the window as he gazed at your pretty face. eyes sparkling at the view of someone’s cake in the fridge with some drool seemingly forming at the corner of your mouth. you looked so… how can he even explain such a feeling to himself or anybody else ?
. at that moment, he felt like simply coming up to you and wrapping his arms around you. only to keep you within his grasp and make sure you will never run away or be harmed. no matter if you are taller than him. but he had to shake away the thoughts to start the visit. and also maybe to know you better, after all only falling for one’s looks isn’t as wise as it can be, knowing how many beautiful people are the most dispensable people out the whole universe.
. just like he had dreaded, you were oh too kind for his heart to take it lightly. curiously peering at every corner and listening to him as he talked about the necessities of the work without too much details. he had to look away more than once and pray the pink dye on his glasses would conceal the ever growing blush on his cheeks. seriously, how unfair can you be ?! making him all flushy inside that he almost wants to melt when you waved him goodbye to go to your section to get to work.
. but, for some reasons, he did not find this uncomfortable in the slightest bit. his body was still his at the end of the day, and only the brushing of your fingers against his gloved ones remained in his mind. for once, he wished to take off his glove to feel some contact for the first time since so long. if it’s yours, he doesn’t feel like he will mind it too much.
SUNDAY
. he never really spared any real thought towards loving and being loved. he had more important matters like the health of his sister and her happiness, his role as the spokesman of the family and all the worries that came with taking care of penacony. so, truthfully, the idea never really came to his mind, and if it did he would discard it away without any real second chances for it to last.
. but during certain nights, he indulges in those kind of feelings that swirl deep within him as he wonders how he will feel if he falls in love with an individual. will his biggest strength to deliver eloquent speeches to move away a whole crowd for his own benefits turn into sand if he gazes too long in the eyes of the one that would steal his heart ? would his face heat up in the haste of their shared love and would he find himself holding their hands with a grip a bit too tight ? who knows. maybe he does want to fall in love in the end…
. the first moment your gazes crossed paths was during a concert of his sister. he enjoys watching those above all else. drowning in her beautiful melodies and allowing himself to breathe in the imagery of a field of flowers where he can feel the heartbeat of the world as he lies down the grass. ah, what a beautiful view of the sky painted in the hues of the ocean. how much he enjoys indulging himself in such lovely views created by the dreams of his mind.
. this is when he first saw you. all panicked in the crowd and breathing heavily because everyone was being too rough and too noisy next to you. he felt a pang of empathy towards this strangely beautiful stranger that got the unluck of being stuck next to so many disrespectful people. and his steps made him walk closer to you. a hand over their shoulder to catch your attention before he led you away from the concert.
. when you two went to relax in a small cafe away from everyone else, he turned on his phone to watch the live performance of his sister’s concert (which he has free access to). maybe you cannot be there, but at least you will still be able to hear her singing and see the thing as a full. afterwards, one drink in silence turned into two, then three as the conversation continued onwards. and he found himself unable to stop it, wanting to know more and more about you. and for once he did not want to know that in case it was needed, he was curious.
. when he bid you farewell and returned home, his sister couldn’t stop herself from telling him he seemed in such a brighter mood than he was at the start of the day. the honest smile in his lips and gaze dwelling back into what had happened that day. he simply told her he got a new acquaintance as he stared at the screen on his phone, with your number on it. well, that was a very precious day now, wouldn’t you say so ?
♡–,✎ wooing:;
AVENTURINE
. he’s insufferable. honestly. when he got over his little crush, all that stayed was a weird mix between the mask he puts over himself for the attire of confidence he had put over his own heart and the clear indication that you might be a bit more in his eyes. however, you will never know if it is genuine or not for a while. a gambler never reveals his cards.
. instead, the sole lead that remained to help you in your decision making was the small gestures he did all the time, his constant bothering you with calls, messages and funny little notes found in your office as well as the never ending questions by his side. one could be a coincidence, two was weird, after three you knew there was no getting away from that sickeningly stunning man you both adored and loathed sometimes (how can he be so adorably annoying ?)
. your missions end quickly, for one reason: you do nothing instead sitting next to him as he bets his life for the fifth time tonight. you know he will win but you cannot help the faceplan on your face as he proudly places down his cards for a final round and challenges opponents thinking they are a bit too lucky. you are no fool in front of his hand behind his back or the unmistakable shaking of it as it rests against his thigh under the table in a closed shaky fist. you never really dared to hold it, as to not break any bound that might last between you too. but as he looks at you to see the fondness with which you gaze at him, he feels like he already hit the jackpot.
. those nights always end up with your fist lightly hitting the top of his head after stealing his hat as a reminder that he is not eternal and he scared you to death. then he runs after you while making sure to remain slower, only to see the sun smiling back at him in all its glory. if you are lucky enough, he will let you wear it. fret not ! if he says no, attack him by the heartstrings with the cute big round eyes and a sad pout gracing your lips. he never won. his maximum is 26 seconds, dr. ratio counted for you one day. how kind.
. the type to use cringe pick up lines, but he is forgiven by his undying attractive looks. would call you the weirdest things during those times to make a bad joke meant to make your heart swoon. forgive him for being so bad, it’s his first time falling in love and not everyone is born with enough charisma to be both lucky in games and lucky in love. a loser, but one you comfort during his most unlucky defeats against your heart with a little peck in the cheeks. suddenly his mood is brighter and he is bringing you along to a shop or a restaurant.
. his money becomes yours the moment his heart was a bit faster and harder against his ribs. you could gaze at a cake from the other side of a window for 0.4 seconds and he had magically appeared inside. not like you complain but your stomach is starting to be a bit more demanding and whiny when you are close to him. he caught onto that and lightly poke you every time before heading towards another dinner you two will share. you will get your cake, but let’s get a healthy meal first to ensure you will stay all pretty and happy. he wouldn’t want you feeling bad over your body because he couldn’t resist your stare. he is no simp, promise (is that his fingers crossed behind his back ??)
. sometimes he comes to your house too. you two act like a couple more than you would both enjoy to admit. him lazily sipping on some coffee and answering calls here and there from the ipc while you are cooking or doing anything really. he could send you a weird meme of two cats biting each other with a “us <3” while you two are sharing a blanket and watching a film at the same time, in the same house, in the same room, in the same couch and almost cuddling. what a funny little man.
. his confession would be sweet. for once, no casino was involved during the whole night. you might think he was perhaps a bit sick but no, he was not ! feeling perfectly a–okay, although his perfume is a bit more prominent and for some reasons he is buying you more things than usual.
. please, let him talk first. he will not be able to say anything if you even dare to utter a word as you two arrive under the starry sky in an abandoned park. with some lamp, he will use morse code:
.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-
. your answer was: ..--- ; and he felt like falling in love all over again as you both started laughing over your own dumb love towards one another. ignore the tears, he is just happy. and perhaps this small shooting star was his sister’s best wishes.
SUNDAY
. the first thing he ever does when he goes to meet you is buying you flowers. now you have a ton of bouquets around your house and had to convince him to maybe settle for something that you two could consume or else you would have enough plants for the funerals of all your family members, that is if the bouquets were not holding a deep message. yes, he loves the implicit. the ones he loves gifting you the most are orchids¹, red roses² for the classics as well as carnations³ and sunflowers⁴.
. the embodiment of a gentleman and i am not joking. for him, courting you is not something to be taken lightly. he is playing his future love life on the line and will not allow any mistake to be made on his end. he wants to win over your heart and be a big selfish as to remain the sole object of your affection, and he will accomplish such a goal but being as gentle as he can be with you — without, of course, being too overbearing or controlling with you. he wants something genuine, not you accepting his love because you felt forced to do such a thing based on his status as a leader or place in the family. hence why he will refuse for a certain while to talk about his profession, he will end up telling you, pinky promise, but not now yet.
. going back to the previous subject of him being a gentleman. he will hold the doors open for you, all the time and it can maybe turn into a competition if you try to beat him. his arms quickly around your waist to stop you as you two giggle like two teenagers a bit too smitten. walking down some stairs ? here, his hand. he wouldn’t want your ankle to be twisted. and the feeling of your hand in his is quite enjoyable too. i am also talking about pulling your chair for you (if you sit first he will do this tiktok trend of being unable to move the chair to have you check it so he can pull it for you), letting his shoulder be soaked when it rains and you have only one umbrella as well as kissing your knuckles when you two meet.
. he always has his hands on you, i swear. it is so very obvious he has fallen head over heels with you and even he cannot deny it any longer. but when his hand is always resting at your lower back — your consent is included, if you do not like it he will let you take hold of his arm instead — as you walk through a particularly crowded place in the streets or in a building. always the perfect guide to accompany you to your destination. travel in security, travel with sunday !
. do not think his sister is not involved in his plans to win over your heart, because if you think so you are solely mistaken. she already knows of his adoration for you and even gives him small pieces of advice. after all, she has a lot of fans trying to woo her, so she knows different tactics and will share those that make her a bit weak in the knees to help her brother with his soon–to–be–lover. she went as far as to do a concert with only the two of you, singing a love song while you were humming alongside her tune. he still cherishes this moment when he hasn’t seen you for a certain while.
. he never enters your home without the green flag to do so. the most he did the first few days you went out together was accompany you to the porch and flash a small wink your way, the two of you letting out small laughs at how corny and movie–like the whole ordeal has been. seriously, it feels like a mix of your favorite book tropes with all the cringy stuff that you can view in your favorite romance movies. but you two are a sucker for traditional romance, how can you be blamed ?
. now, for his confession, oh lord. he became the best husband in one night and you were feeling all hot in the face all day. because, yes, he booked a whole day of different activities the two of you could do together. from sharing a simple meal to making some poems. he wrote the best ballads and sonnets you have ever read in the entirety of your life — seriously, how can a man be so talented in such different fields ?
. at the end of the day, you two walked in a park where you both ended up sitting down on the same bench. there was barely no one around as it was late enough already, and when the lamps finally lit up, you saw the whole city come back to life for the night. it was a whole show in itself, to see the advertisements light up, the street lamp illuminating the roads and the atmosphere changing around the two of you.
. after a small quick breath, he placed a present upon your lap and let you open it. it consisted of a music box, playing one of the unreleased songs of his sister you had the pleasure to listen to with him. but there was a particularity: this was a love song. when you gazed back at one another, you both knew.
♡–,✎ engagement:;
AVENTURINE
. the bad pick up lines got worse. now he uses them when falling off the stairs, upon stumbling with his own two feet over some air and when he has a good hair day (clue: he always has good hair). so no, there is no escaping his constant praises and compliments and cringy flirting. but you’ll forgive him, won’t you ?
. he is so affectionate it feels like he became some glue next to you. there is no joke in that. when you two are at home to simply relax he will have his arms around you while doing anything at all. but don’t let your guard down, he might take off his clothes to move your shirt aside and rest his freezing hand upon your skin directly. just to hear your little squeals as you look up at him. his other hand will hold your cheek to feel the warmth burning at his fingertips before kissing it better as his own small apology. during moments like these, make it difficult to regain his love. more kisses for the two of you and more cuddling too.
. even in the casino he goes, he is affectionate too openly. he has really no shame screaming at the top of his lungs how much he loves you and the fact you are all he ever dreamt of having. your head is resting on his shoulder with one arm around your waist. he found that tracing forms on your skin is better than gripping a chip in secret, and now it comes naturally. if you ever fall asleep on him while he plays, he will not hesitate to take off his hate and put it on your to hide the lights from your eyes and allow you a better sleep. even when the game ended, he will stay at the table a few more moments to then give you the correct time to wake up from your little nap. i hope you don’t mind being awakened by kisses all over your face.
. his hat is the only thing he shares, sorry not sorry. his clothes are his and he wants to keep them as such. if you want to wear them he will happily buy you something similar, but the idea of sharing clothes is not something he cherishes that much. however, matching clothes ? this he doesn’t mind ! matching pajamas sets ? check. matching glasses ? check. matching accessories ? check. wearing matching pairs only add to the whole showing off you are his, doesn’t it ?
. he is not that possessive per say, maybe simply a bit paranoid that things might happen to you in hopes of getting to him. but he is truly aware you are capable and will not sugarcoat you (if you do not have any injury, get one as small as a paper cut and he is throwing dramatic gasps to make you laugh), but he will not hesitate to show that he is yours as much as you are his and no one can take you away from him. however, he can have his own insecurities. not look wise, come on that smirk on his face shows that he knows how pretty he is. no, it is more towards his gambling addiction and financial tendencies to spend everything without a care because of his insane luck. he knows that it might be a red flag, or you might be dragged away from him if he continues too much. you can kiss him better or show him an alternative (don’t do gacha games, please, he will know no limits at all you will worsen the problem dearest).
. all in all, you won your own little jackpot by being with him. sure, he has his own secrets and things he will probably never share with you. but at the end of the day you are both satisfied only holding each other’s hands as you dance under the stars like idiots or jump on the water that stayed in the streets after it rained. maybe you are a bit childish, or maybe you simply indulge together in what you always lacked: an innocent and pure love.
SUNDAY
. his money became yours, quite literally. need to buy a book ? here take his credit card. you want to start having weekly shopping sprees with robin ? he will make a new card just for the two of you that you can use. do not shy away from using his money, he wants you happy and he knows that sometimes only acquiring certain items you cherish will fill your heart to the brim. however, he is waiting for a small peck on the cheek and if you bought close you better make a small show for him. the two of you will end up dancing in the living room and it will end with a small kiss.
. the type to be a sucker for any type of kisses. would randomly come up to you, grab your face and kiss your forehead, your cheeks so no jealousy and then your lips. at first you were taken aback but now you are used to it and no real surprises anymore to be honest. you just melt and sometimes kiss him back when he pulls away. aha ! now he is the one with warm cheeks :P.
. he shares his food a bit too much, his plate becomes yours. not the type to give you his plate though. no, instead he will take your fork or spoon, serve enough in it and bring it to your lips. you can never deny him because of the fluttering of his wings that shows just how happy he is to do such a thing. and let’s not talk about desserts. he would buy five of them, eat one spoonful and then give you the rest. i am not hungry anymore, he says, what a very sweet liar he is. that is not his fault, do not blame him please, he just wishes to see a small smile on your face because you love them so much.
. talking about his wings, you can know his mood with how they react. a pretty useful indicator to be honest. if they are a bit down, he is sad or just tired. a few cuddles might fix the issue and if it doesn’t just massage his feathers, but be careful those little wings are still very much sensitive. if they are fluttering, then he is quite happy. weirdly enough they always flutter when you are with him. sometimes he uses them to hide his face if he is a bit flustered. he looks quite adorable when he wants to.
. also not the type to share his clothes, the only exception being his jacket if you are cold and brought nothing for yourself. unlike aventurine he is not for matching sets of clothing, he would prefer if you two kept your own style. but he is for matching jewelries and such. his favorite match is earrings. he will wear the right one most of the time as you wear the left one. his second favorite has to be necklaces. you have a pair of necklaces that go together like two puzzle pieces, and every time you cuddle you let them click together and they remain as such until you have to go to work or sleep or pee.
. being with him is like walking through a street in the middle of the light. his embrace and touches being the few people complimenting you along the way and his comfort being the warm light cast upon you. and when you fall asleep, it’s like having found your own little haven all over again. perhaps, with you, he will learn to be a bit more honest with himself over time.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
orchids¹ – they symbolize beauty, charm and love.
red roses² – they symbolize love and passion.
carnations³ – they symbolize fascination and love.
sunflowers⁴ – they symbolize admiration and loyalty.
(if any of those informations are wrong, tell me and i will fix it asap !)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
TAGGING:: @amxto; @dxmoness; @sweetlyvibe; @quatrdeal; @yoghurtsan
1K notes · View notes
xxsabitoxx · 10 months
Text
My Personal Upper Moon 🍆 Ranking
Warnings: if it isn’t obvious already, this post is taking about the Upper Moon’s and my personal HC on their dick sizes. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, just keep scrolling
A/N: I was actually very surprised by the amount of comments on my Hashira version of this HC post. So I feel a little more comfortable with giving the Upper Moons a go, especially since someone asked if I would do it eheheh. That being said, these men are demons, therefore you may find my size rankings to be a bit unrealistic. But I’m not gonna go crazy and say Muzan has a dick that’s 2 miles long.
This post includes: Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu’s clones (Karaku, Urogi, Sekido and Aizetsu), Gyutaro and Kaigaku. And no Gyokko cause that man doesn’t have a dick, period.
Tumblr media
In a category of his own: Muzan Kibutsuji
Muzan clearly deserves a category of his own for one particular reason: he’s able to alter his appearance.
Therefore, he’s able to change the size of his dick whenever the fuck he feels like it.
And don’t try and say that stupid cause he can literally change gender and age so changing his dick size isn’t out of the question
On average, Muzan prefers to have a larger dick, mostly because he’s a pussy ass bitch man that needs that kind of confidence down there, if you get what I mean.
Typically soft: 10.5
Typically hard: 11.7
But he can make it as big, small, curved, wide, as he wants
When he wants to torture your ass, he’ll make himself as girthy as he sees fit just to watch you cry and squirm and beg for something a little smaller.
Anytime you get “comfortable” he just increases his girth until you’re crying again. Your pleasure is never his first priority, it’s always his.
Tumblr media
1. Kokushibo
Among the demons, it should be no shock that Upper Moon One has always been packing. This man is petrifying so it’s only right that his dick is equally as intimidating as him
Even as a human, this man’s dick was deadly. You can’t change my mind either.
Just in case you’re wondering, Yoriichi is bigger
That’s beside the point, Kokushibo has a lot to work with down there. Whether it’s hard or soft ngl
When soft: 9.5
When hard: 10.7
He’s long, girthy and curves slightly upwards. He’s heavy too, your jaw will certainly hurt by the time you’re done with him.
He’s the type to put a pillow or blanket of some sort under your lower back as he fucks you. Mostly because he’s not clueless to the fact that his dick is big
Kokushibo is the type to ease you into it though, he’s stern but he has a teeny bit of empathy when it comes to fucking you. Unless you’ve pissed him off ofc.
Tumblr media
2. Akaza
I know this one is gonna be controversial, especially since I’m putting him above Douma but hear me out.
This man has audacity, which means he got a big dick. No demon is acting like Akaza and having a small dick to go with it. Nuh uh, no sir.
Akaza is sitting pretty knowing damn well his cock is bigger than Douma’s and it actually something Douma taunts him with… which you think the roles would be reversed but hey…
When soft: 8.5
When hard: 9.7
He’s straight, no real curve to him and he has a single blue line going up the underside of his shaft and one that wraps around just before the head of his dick. Like as in the lines that cover his body lol
Akaza is probably the “gentlest” of all the upper moons because of the respect he has for women
That’s not to say he isn’t rough with you, but he definitely cares about your pleasure and feelings more than Douma or Muzan would for example
He’s pretty confident in himself though, at least that’s how it seems to you. He knows what he’s doing to say the least
Tumblr media
3. Douma
Alright listen, this man is still packing down there so don’t get mad at me for putting him at third.
His dick is smaller than Akaza’s but not by a ton. Let’s be honest Douma is probably the straightest and gayest demon to ever exist. The embodiment of bisexual LMAO
How does Douma know Akaza’s dick is bigger? The world may never know
When soft: 8
When hard: 9.2
It’s pale like the rest of him, a pretty noticeable curve to it as well. He has some prominent veins because of how pale he is. His tip is like a pinkish gray (idk why I felt the need to include this)
He’s pretty girthy too, so he definitely will make your walls stretch uncomfortably if he doesn’t offer you foreplay
Douma is rough, selfish and truly only cares about his own pleasure but he likes watching you whine and squirm while being impaled on his cock
Douma also has a thing for “belly bulges” so he will fuck you in some odd positions if he means he can see his dick from the outside… if ya know what I mean
Tumblr media
4. Gyutaro
Listen, plz just listen cause I promise you I’m going somewhere with this. Cause I can already hear y’all being like ???Scrawny ass Gyutaro is in 4th??? Yes. He is.
Gyutaro got himself a bit of an upgrade when becoming a demon. He for sure does not look like he did a a human. By that I mean he’s taller than he was (even tho he’s hunched)
What I’m tryna get at is demon transformation made his dick bigger and Imma live in my little fantasy world
When soft: 6.5
When hard: 7.2
Gyutaro’s dick is as curved as his spine and as thick as his tiny ass waist. He’s got length but not crazy girth.
Even if he’s rough, it feels good. Like there isn’t a ton of discomfort if he goes in raw with no prep cause he wants to punish you, he’s like the perfect amount of stretch
He’s mean, verbally and physically but at the same time he’s a fucking sucker for your body so he can’t really say much without whining and groaning
He’s got some confidence in his cock but he’s also a bit envious of the other upper moons
Tumblr media
5. The Hantengu Clones (Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu, Urogi)
I’ve talked about my dick HCs for these four in my A-Z NSFW alphabet and I was tryna be realistic. However, when it comes to this post, fuck being realistic.
Sekido when soft 6.2 | when hard 7.1
Karaku when soft 6 | when hard 6.9
Urogi when soft 5.9 | when hard 6.7
Aizetsu when soft 5.7 | when hard 6.5
There is so much to say here but honestly my brain is malfunctioning so I can’t even delve into it
Regardless, the four of these demons fuck very differently and use their dicks very differently
Sekido and Urogi have no curve, Karaku has a slight curve and Aizetsu’s curves upwards
Hantengu himself had a 3 inch dick and you can’t tell me otherwise. Pussy ass bitch
Tumblr media
6. Kaigaku
I hate this little bitch but I’m including him so I can rag on his fugly ass. Kaigaku simps I’m sorry but I can’t stand him
This douche has the smallest dick among the upper moons. This is full Kaigaku slander.
When soft: 5.2
When hard: 6
I’ll give him a decent dick tho cause boy does he have the fucking audacity
That’s all I’m gonna give y’all cause I ain’t wasting my time on him GOOD BYE I didn’t even tag is ass
2K notes · View notes
grison-in-space · 8 months
Text
Currently rereading Eric Flint's 1632 and reflecting on just how influential Flint was to me and my approach to both praxis and politics as a teenager. I found Flint when I was about thirteen or fourteen, around the time I found Pratchett I think, and he's left an equally wide thumbprint on my soul. Isn't that the most wonderful thing about stories, that people you've never met can help shape our adult selves? Mother of Demons I often recommend for its SFF worldbuilding--Flint built a species with at least four genders, only some of which are reproductive, and associated "normal" sexual orientations, and then proceeded to write in a textually intersex character and queer the hell out of it.
1632, though, is the one where a little West Virginia town in 2000 gets picked up and dropped in the middle of Thuringia, Germany in the eponymous year--right in the middle of the Thirty Years War. The local United Mine Workers of America chapter plays a major role, particularly its head.
As I write this I'm listening to the scene where the little town of Grantville, having admitted after a few days that they are probably not ever going home, is crowded into the high school gymnasium listening to the mayor lay that reality out and suggesting an interim council to help the town set out a sort of constitutional convention so they can work out what on earth they're going to do moving forward--especially since there's a bunch of displaced refugees collecting in the forests nearby. Sensible of them, really; the Americans murdered the shit out of the local soldiers that displaced them, on account of how the shaken mine workers that went out to figure out WTF happened not being super down with suddenly running into a bunch of fuckheads raping the locals and torturing people to find out where their valuables might be. After that, said Americans proceeded to retreat into the town boundaries and gibber quietly to themselves. I would go lurk in their woods, too.
Anyway, the mayor sets up this proposal, everyone agrees, and a CEO who was visiting for his son's wedding at the time steps forward and says: look. I know how to lead, and I'm probably the most qualified person here. I lead a major industry corporation effectively and I did that after my time as a Navy officer. I put myself forward because I'm qualified. Now, we're going to need to circle the wagons to get through the winter, tighten our belts, but we can get through this. We can't support all these refugees, though; we'll have to seal the border so they can't bring disease--they're a drain on our resources we can't afford--
and the UMWA guy, he gets really mad listening to this. There's this Sephardic refugee woman he's real taken with who got swept up in the town first thing, and she's sitting in and listening; he's thinking about throwing her out, thinking about how much she knows about the place they're found in, and he's furious. But he gets a good grip on his anger and he marches up and he says, look. This dude has been here two days and he's already talking about downsizing?! You're going to listen to this CEO talking about cuts, cuts, cuts? Nah. Trying to circle the wagons is probably impossible, it's stupid, and if you think my men and I are going to enforce that, you can fuck off. That proposal is inside out and bass ackwards. We've got about a six mile diameter of Grantville here; how much food do YOU think we're going to grow? How about the soldiers wandering around, do you think we're going to be able to fight armies off on our lonesome? Look at the few refugees we already have in the room, they'll tell you how those armies will treat you! We could do it for a while, the amount of gun nuts here, but so what? We don't have enough people to shoot them! Not if we're going to do anything else to keep us going! We have about six months of stockpiled coal to keep going, and without another source or getting the coal mines working, we're screwed. We have technical strength but we don't have the supplies or resources we would need to maintain it. Those refugees? They're resources. We need people to do the work we will need to keep ourselves. The hell with downsizing; let's grow outwards! Bring people in, give them safety, see what they can bring to the table once they've had a moment! He invokes: send us your tired, your poor!, and the CEO yells in frustration: this isn't America! so he yells back "it will be!"
And of course everyone cheers. I love Flint for many reasons but he is unapologetic about affection for the America of ideals--ideals, he freely admits, that are often honored in the breach rather than the observance, ideals that are messy and flawed, but nevertheless ideals that can work to inspire us to become the best version of ourselves. For Flint, history is as valuable as a source of stories to inspire ourselves as it is a repository of knowledge, and on this I tend to agree with him. We must learn from our moments of shame but equally we must learn from moments that show us how to be our best selves.
It's been twenty three years and the text is now an interesting historical document in its own right, hitting points and rhythms in beats that are sometimes out of place today. It's not perfect. But the novel contains a commitment to joy and to emphasizing the leaps of faith and understanding that regular, everyday people make every day to try and support each other that I routinely try to match in my writing.
Anyway, one of the strengths of the novel, I think, is its gender politics: it's a very ensemble kind of novel, lots of characters, and it's preoccupied with positive masculinity in a lot of ways. There's a lot of these hyper masculine characters--Mike Stearns perhaps more than anyone else--and--and...
... And Flint's characterization of Stearns, as he sketches out who the man is--his pivotal American leader, ex boxer, working class organizer, big man.... well, it lands equally on "he is delighted and astonished to find a local woman who quickly assesses how the cushion of air in tires works," and "he considers who to set up a Jewish refugee in the middle of Germany up with and he thinks to ask the Jewish family he grew up with to host her and her ill father because he thinks she'll be most comfortable there", and "he views people as potential assets rather than potential drains." A younger man asks him for advice on whether to pursue a professional sports career because of the boxing and he says no, you're in the worst place of not being quite good enough and you'll blow out your knees without accomplishing safety. He frames that interaction such that he allows his own experiences to make him vulnerable and invite the younger man to understand when a struggle have worth it.
It's actually a really deft portrayal of intense masculinity that also makes a virtue of a bunch of traits more usually associated with women: empathy, relational sensitivity, the ability to listen. As a blueprint for what a positive masculinity can look like, vs the toxic kind, it's very well done. I think sometimes when we look at gender roles in terms of virtues, and when masculinity is defined in terms of opposition to femininity, people get lost by arguing that virtues assigned to one gender are somehow antithetical to another gender. In fact that's never been the case: virtues are wholly neutral and can appear in any gender. What the gender does is inflect the ways we expect that virtue to appear in terms of individuals' actions within their society.
Gender isn't purely an individual trait, basically; it's a product of our collective associations. Two characters with different genders can display the same virtues and strengths, but we imagine them expressed in different ways according to our cultural expectations around gender. And I just think that's neat.
950 notes · View notes
tyonfs · 1 year
Text
the marriage and baby project (teaser)
Tumblr media
PAIRING ▸ mark lee x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, crack, college au, fake dating (marriage?) au
SUMMARY ▸ mark lee has had the biggest crush on you for years, so, naturally, he’s over the moon when you’re both partnered for a group project. however, he underestimates just how close two people can get when they have to pretend they’re married for a month while taking care of a fake baby.
ESTIMATED WORD COUNT ▸ 8k words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ the dunk shot series is not dead guys :’) sorry this series was sort of at a standstill for a bit but here’s the teaser for mark’s installment !! ♡ send me an ask or comment if you want to be on the tag list! (warnings will be added in the final fic) 
Tumblr media
THE ONLY REASON WHY MARK TOOK FAMILY AND CONSUMER SCIENCE WAS BECAUSE his friends told him it would be an easy A for a general education requirement he needed to fulfill. No one clued him in on having to become a married man and father.
“Hi, Mark,” you greeted with a smile, sliding into the seat next to him. “I guess I’m Y/N Lee for the next few weeks.”
He felt his heart drop to his stomach.
Here was a brief rundown: you were essentially a femme fatale, a drop-dead gorgeous it-girl; and Mark was a loser who was somewhat good at playing basketball. On top of that, Mark harbored the biggest crush on you since forever.
Forever dated back to high school. Although Mark never spoke to you much, he had always thought you were the most breathtaking individual he had ever seen. That was probably why he was malfunctioning right now. He had never gotten the opportunity to be around you like this, mostly because you were dating Vernon Chwe up until last year. All he could do was admire from afar helplessly, eyes lingering as you strode down hallways.
Chenle told him that there was a definite shelf life on relationships like yours and Vernon’s—relationships that were mostly physical—so he was confident you two wouldn’t last. And he was right. When you and Vernon broke up, Mark felt bad seeing your sad eyes, but an ugly part of him had been waiting for it to happen.
This situation, however, was like winning the lottery. Not only was he partnered up with you, but he had to play the role of your husband? Things like this never really happened to Mark, so he figured some misfortunate was coming his way soon.
“Hey, Y/N,” he managed to get out.
“Come up and get your babies,” the professor instructed. “These RealCare infant simulators use wireless programming to track and report on your behaviors, which is why I had you all sign those consent forms.” She held up one of the dolls for everyone to see. “I’m not gonna require you all to keep your dolls in a car seat, but I will be able to see records of misuse, clothing changes, temperature changes, whether you’ve rocked, fed, or burped your baby, or respond to its cries.”
Great. He had to walk around campus with a plastic baby. Mark’s friends were never going to let him live this down.
He wondered if the RealCare infant could play basketball.
He turned to face you again. “Do you want a boy or girl?”
“Mark Lee,” his professor chided, and he nearly jumped when saw her standing right beside his desk. “You don’t get to choose the gender of your child in real life, so I’ll be randomly assigning each couple a baby.”
“I don’t think we’ve considered the possibility of gene editing.”
“You can take that up with Congress.”
Tumblr media
GENERAL TAG LIST ▸ @papiiimark @jaehy9ngs @chanluster @jjhmk @marksflute @superhajimark @jeongyoonohs @marklexleaf @dnylwoo @kpop-bambi @miyrisa @jjikyuu @venesiun @seventeeneration @chenosaurus16 @kylomeyon @infnteen @ohmarkly  @weish5n @thejeongjaehyun​ @lovesjenmoong​ @infnteen​ @wownajaemin​ @haruharux23 @pewpewpwe00 @scxrlettkx @pckeia @keijikunn @sapiowoman28 @atiny-doodles @loki-in-hogwarts @baekhyuns-lipchain @repjaehyn @chan-s-laptop @jen0zen @michplusb @yutassecrettime @minkis-simp​ @dreamyyang​ @catscoffeeandkpop​ @ahgastayzen​ @ryu-naa
3K notes · View notes
bonny-kookoo · 7 months
Text
Jungkook
𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞♡𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 🔞 [Needy]
Tumblr media
Who said every omega needs an alpha?
Tags/Warnings: Omega!Jungkook, Omega!Reader, Omega!Jimin, Mentioned Alpha!Yoongi, Stereotypes, Friends to lovers, Major Fluff, Romance, Slight angst, IUD mentioned, I repeat, this is bare sex but still protected, Don't be stupid in real life, penetrative sex, implied breeding kink, knotting, implied oral, kook breaks the sofa but keeps going oops
Length: 2k? I think so.
Main work
This belongs to a different Oneshot, but can be read on its own.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Something that Jungkook has proven to you, is that he is a way better lover than anyone you've ever had before.
And another thing both of you are facing nowadays, is the more.. upsetting part of your relationship, at least in the way it's viewed by others.
Like an invitation.
You can't go to any club or bar without being watched- mainly since Jungkook doesn't make it a secret that he's head over heels in love with you. And that in itself isn't new- omega on omega relationships are becoming more and more common, just like any other random pairing of sub-genders. But that doesn't mean that the sexualization of it doesn't still happen.
It's not taken seriously- mainly by alphas.
Seen as a connection made simply out of desperation and need, you're constantly approached by alpha's who think they can 'give you what you need'- when in reality, you both already have all you could ever want.
But you're still seen as nothing but two lost souls who are in need of guidance.
Sometimes, you wonder how Jungkook can stay so confident and strong when his masculinity and most of all role as your partner is constantly challenged. As if he's not the right fit for you, he's always dismissed as nothing but a current temporary fix for your lack of an appropriate partner. You're not sure if he's just silently suffering from these words and actions- or if he's really that strong.
Maybe the answer is in the heated kisses he offers you inside of his car every time you leave some sort of social setting where something like that has occurred. Maybe the answer is in the desperate way he touches you after such events, in the sheer need to have you close and marked up.
Maybe he's not at all unaffected- but he just knows how to reassure himself.
"Why don't you wanna go out with Yoongi and the others?" Jungkook wonders innocently, hugging you from behind. "Jimin's there too." He tries to remind you, but you shake your head.
"I don't like going to those clubs." You mumble, having learned to be honest and upfront with Jungkook. "I don't know, I just don't wanna." You shrug.
"It's cause of them, isn't it?" He asks, sitting on the kitchen counter, watching your shoulders slump down, hands holding your cup of juice. "Does it bother you?" Jungkook asks, and you want to shake your head- but he wasn't finished in his sentence.
"Does it bother you that I'm not an alpha?" He asks, and you look at him, and spot something you didn't think you would.
He's not looking at you, but at your lips. He's avoiding eye-contact. He's pretending to be confident.
"No." You shake your head, walking closer to him after putting the empty cup in the sink, moving between his legs to hug his body and lean your head against his stomach. "It bothers me that it bothers everyone else." You instead mumble. "It's not fair."
"Do you think you'd feel better going out if you had an alpha partner?" Jungkook asks, hand on your shoulder, always caring, always soft, always gentle.
"No." You deny.
"No?" He asks, and you shake your head.
"Because then it wouldn't be you."
At that, Jungkook jumps from the counter, walks you back until your back hits the small table in the kitchen, his hands holding your cheeks, before he kisses you, hungry, a smile interrupting him constantly as his piercings touch your lips, colder than the rest of him. "You're so sweet." He chuckles, eyes hooded, but full of warmth. "I love you so much." He purrs, before he captures your lips once more, needing to be closer again, grip on the back of your thighs enough of a signal to you to jump up into his grasp, as he walks you barely to the couch in the living room, where you both almost trip and fall.
This is where you want to be. You don't ever need to leave this apartment, as long as Jungkook's here.
"Would you like to spend your heat with me?" He asks mostly through a breath, while he runs his lips over your neck, hands already eager to rid you of your clothes.
"Yes." you breathe out, because of course you want to. There's no one else you'd want to spend it with, after all.
You don't need an alpha.
You just need him.
"Hm my timing could be better, huh?" He chuckles amused, hands sneaking into your shorts to push them down, not bothering to push them far enough for you to really properly get out of them- fabric caught at your ankles, along with your underwear. "I'll ask you later.." He purrs, hand between your legs. "...after I made sure you're stuffed full of my cum." He tells you with no shame, licking his lips.
So he knows.
"It was supposed to be a surprise." You whine, and he laughs openly, biting impishly at your mark he's left. It'll never stay forever unless he renews it time after time- a downside to him not having any alpha-genes in himself. But he would mark you up even if he didn't have to.
Because it's a promise he will give you time and time again.
A promise he'll receive from you as well, time and time again.
"Gotta get better at hiding things from me then, pretty baby." He chuckles, sucking marks onto your collarbone. "Or.. maybe not." He shrugs, adjusting himself while his hand works you up for him, when your hands sneak up his shirt.
"I don't wanna hide from you." You say, and he smiles, looking at you before he leans back to pull his shirt over his head.
"And I wouldn't ever want that either." He hums, kissing you again. "But-" He interrupts himself. "-You could've told me baby. I heard it hurts a lot to get it." He worries, and you shrug, moving your back a bit up so he can help you out of your sweater.
"It did." You say, as you remember the pain. "They said it wouldn't. But it really did." You tell him, and he playfully pouts, feigning worry.
"Oh my poor baby, doing all of that just so I can breed her.." He chuckles, joking while you roll your eyes. "But really." Jungkook says, now a little more serious. "Next time you wanna do stuff like this- tell me."
"I wanna get my nipples pierced, maybe." You blurt out bluntly, and his eyes grow wide like two moons, hands stilling in the act of undoing the belt of his jeans.
"Really?" He asks, resuming his task, standing up to step out of his pants, before he rids himself of his underwear as well.
"Yeah." You nod. "There's cute jewelry for it." You hum, watching him get close again, leaning over you, palms grabbing at your tits as if to imagine it.
"I can see it suiting you well." He nods, leaning back to admire your chest in his hands. "Two little hearts. Pink gemstones." He tilts his head a little, thumbs running over your by now hardened nipples. "Hm, the more I think about it, the better it gets." He laughs, especially when he notices you growing restless from his antics, and the shameless display of his already twitching length.
How can he act so unbothered when he's clearly hard and leaking already?
"Koo!" You complain, feet reaching for him, and he laughs.
"Very cute." He comments, aligning himself at your entrance, covering the tip in your arousal. "But I think I wanna hear you say my name a little different.." He growls down at you, boldly licking at your neck before he pushes himself inside, a sigh escaping him at the feeling of you bare.
Who said you need an alpha?
By now he knows how much you can take- how you like it, even though he's still interested in trying out new things every single time. This time however, he's chasing a different thing, other than seeing you fucked out-
because with your IUD in place, he can finally, truly, claim you as his, and present a new kind of possession over you wherever you go. A different smell that he knows every alpha will be aware of-
a sign to back off, because you're not up for grabs, and neither is he.
The feeling of you without any kind of barrier makes him dizzy- causes his mind to fog up like the windows of his car that one time you two had sex in it and almost broke something in the process. He can't help himself.
He's a strong guy, and he puts his all into his love for you- the physical aspects, as well as the emotional ones.
And maybe that's why he should be aware of the way the old couch is protesting rather loudly against his hands bracing his body against the siderest, item of furniture not meant to be tested to this degree- at least not anymore, after it's already way too long lifetime.
But he can't bring himself to care, instead mesmerized by his dick entirely coated by your arousal, clear strands of it keeping his pelvis connected to you, sounds obscene between the two of you.
Your heats are close, after all. It's no wonder your body is reacting like this.
It'll be surely a test once he actually goes through the whole ordeal with him. Because down the line, he won't be able to fully give you what an alpha would be able to. And neither can you.
Will you somehow manage, still?
You don't care.
Right now he's pushing his hips as deep as they can go, jaw clenched, growls escaping him while you grip his arms, fingers digging into his biceps.
And then, something crunches- Jungkook's instincts catching him just in time to instead hold himself up with his hands next to your head, mind unable to really care right now what exactly he broke on the small sofa-
because he's so goddamn close. He can't stop now- he'll fuck you on the floor if he has to, but he needs to keep going.
It's another hint at his own heat approaching. Because actually knotting you is becoming harder and harder to do without the proper hormones being released.
"Jungkook-" You whine, and he nods, well aware, knowing that you're already coming undone beneath him, core clenching around his cock buried deep inside- but he's still just clawing at the very edge, unable to fall off. "-It's-" You start, but he shakes his head.
Stubborn.
He doesn't need an alpha. He needs you, no one else.
"I can." He growls, cutting you off in frustration, sweat building from the effort he puts into his thrusts, eyes closed. "I can.!" He grits out between clenched teeth-
and in that moment, you have an idea, pulling him down by his neck before you bite him back, marking his neck.
And it does the trip, if his drawn out whimper is anything to go by, knot swelling as he pushes himself in deep, cum coating your insides, filling you up.
You're breathing heavily, as Jungkook adjusts you both to lay down somewhat comfortably.
"What was that sound?" You wonder quietly, fingers playing with his hair.
"Me cumming or the sofa breaking?" He chuckles, clearly on cloud nine now that he's satisfied.
"You broke the sofa?" You worry, and he laughs.
"I think? I'm not sure." He shrugs, legs pulling you closer. "I'll check after I cleaned you up." He hums against your lips, and you giggle.
"I can just go clean up myself while you fix the sofa." You suggest- though his eyes are sharp and dark with desire, still.
"That's not the way I want to clean you up though, pretty baby." He purrs-
causing your own arousal to be set aflame again.
...though you do end up changing furniture, no longer trusting the old sofa to go through another round.
Tumblr media
436 notes · View notes
thatgirlonstage · 8 months
Text
We make good jokes (and heartbreaking observation) of the irony that is Gabriel and Beelzebub getting their happy ending after meeting for all of two years while Az & Crowley are at 6000 years and counting and their first real cards on the table feelings conversation ended in complete disaster, but yknow I wonder how much of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s relationship happened because of Az & Crowley
Because Gabriel and Beelzebub didn’t have to ask if an angel and a demon could be friends: they’ve seen it. They didn’t need to wonder if falling in love with someone from the other side was an option; they know it isn’t allowed, but they also know that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. They didn’t need to wonder if it was possible, period, only if it was possible for them. It’s so much the queer experience of learning queer people exist for the first time—or learning your specific gender/attraction experience exists—and going wait, you can do that?! And suddenly all these doors open in your head. You just need the courage to walk through them yourself.
Crowley and Aziraphale, meanwhile, had no role models, had no one else, have spent 6000 years painstakingly feeling their way in the dark, knowing at every step that if they’re caught it would spell disaster for either or both of them. Gabriel and Beelzebub needed to take a leap of faith and walk through the door. Az and Crowley had to build the door.
So of course now they’re the ones with 6000 years of fear and repression and baggage to sort through. They went through all of the hardest parts, carving out a path, and as a result, Gabriel and Beelzebub got to skip all of the hardest parts. Az & Crowley get left needing to clean up 6000 years of splinters and bent nails and discarded door handles before they can move forward while Gabriel and Beelzebub can simply walk through the door.
262 notes · View notes
txttletale · 10 months
Note
having thoughts about your point that players/the gm shouldn’t have to design anything for a good ttrpg and wondering if i’m thinking of the gm’s role using inaccurate terms. what would you call the gm’s responses to uncertain mechanical situations in a given game (e.g. a mixed success in pbta - the onus is on the gm to come up with what that means, following some guidance from the rules.)
it seems like something that people find comforting about d&d is that even though the rules are overly complex (and often confusing), many of the common mechanics have clearcut (and boring) outcomes (such as save or suck, hit or miss, etc), meaning the gm doesn’t have to produce/interpret a result themselves. is the other approach (i.e. rules-light) putting more “design” weight on the gm? or is that thinking of it too formally?
otherwise, good design being the gm’s responsibility seems like it just falls under the umbrella of playing in good faith - whatever the situation, it’s bad faith to create untenable/insoluble scenarios that the players can’t meaningfully navigate
yeah, i mean--PBtA games have a list of GM moves, right? when a player has a mixed success, usually that means they succeed and the GM makes a GM move. and obviously those moves have choices and stuff the GM needs to come up with -- something like Monster of the Week's "Put someone in trouble" or "Separate them" definitely require the GM to think of how that works in the fiction -- but that isn't game design, right? the mechanical aspect of that has been handled by the game's rules text. so i think that if there's more weight on the GM i think it's strictly creative weight rather than design weight, unlike the 5e GM who is forced to mechanize anything they might want to make up and is often left without any mechanical guidance
and i mean, i think in general 5e (and dnd more broadly) give the GM absolutely fucking nothing to work with. there are literally no GM-facing mechanical levels other than enemy statblocks (which also, unlike something like Lancer or even fucking 4th Edition, come with no guidance on how to use them or how to assemble combat encounters with them). it's much, much easier to GM a game with GM moves, because then you have an actual set of mechanical levers available to you--and of course, like the aforementioned "Separate them", these levers automatically lend themselves to telling the sort of stories the game advertise for their genre. here's some GM moves from other PBtA systems that, just by seeing them as a mechanical lever, can push the story into the genre and tone directions the game wants to emulate:
Put innocents in danger (Masks, teenage superhero drama)
Reveal an unwelcome truth (Fellowship, high fantasy adventure)
Make honour and shame real (Sagas of the Icelanders, saga-era viking drama)
Bring their gender into it (Night Witches, Soviet airwomen war story)
Make them teach a class (Pigsmoke, magic-school cutthroat academia)
and one of the absolute best things about GM moves (and similar mechanics, like BitD's consequences, or BOB's setting sheet moves) is that because they are clearly delineated and restricted, there's no self-policing. because a dnd 5th edition DM can, rules as written, say at any point "100 ogres appear and beat you to death", they always have to be navigating a series of unspoken social contracts, creating threats but never threats which can win, introducing problems and consequences at a rate that keeps stakes up but is also fundamentally winnable, make everythign feel 'fair'. and dnd players have learned to accept this all as just the table stakes of a GM role, but it doesn't have to be. because all that is game design, and in a better game, that design is taken care of. GM moves say 'look, we've already thought about pacing and fairness, here's the levers we've pre-designed for you to pull, go nuts and tell a story with them'.
so in my opinion PBtA mixed successes represent a lot less onus on the GM to design the game for the designers than anything that happens in 5th edition outside of individual clearly resolvable combat actions--and it's one of the reasons i started having much more fun with TTRPGs once i stopped GMing 5e and realized that other games gave me actual tools and support to work with instead of expecting me to do all that bull shit
182 notes · View notes
dancefloors · 5 months
Note
Hard agree Taylor's interview was weird. There's almost no substance to any of her answers.
for real. I'll try to be brief or at least make this the last one (because I know I am being annoying about this but really I just find her a very fascinating case study), but for a songwriter who is often introspective and eloquent, it all seemed like a very shallow look at her life and career. a hodge-podge of buzzwords and dated pop culture references. I do wonder if that's just the nature of this being a sort of 'PR smooth over' for the unfamiliar audience, setting the record straight on a few accounts, and sort of rewriting the narrative of rep/her last relationship.
but it also was very intriguing how the image she paints of herself, and one she seems to internalise is that of her as a successful 'underdog', a perpetual victim in an uphill battle. I'm sure she's faced adversity in her career, but it's notable to me that the way she frames it ("female rage" at her image destruction, "freedom from patriarchal structures through the flow of economy") is in a way that sort of silently demands an obligation to celebrity and wealth. she points to her "cancellation" as gaslighting from a "social structure" but what structure is that? who is the perpetrator when the dip in your fame can be largely attributed to a PR fumble and public dissent at blatant money-driven strategic friendships (which she personally admitted), relatability marketing, and recognition that they are being sold an image? her song The Man/interviews regarding it detail how structural barriers that bother her the most are the ones preventing her from flaunting her money, chasing fame and fortune openly, being praised for the strategy and calculation behind her capitalist endeavours, from using people and discarding them when done (à la Leo in San Tropez or her partners being "playthings for [her] to use"). is it a structural issue when you leave your record label of your own accord and those very same business strategies and ploys are used against you? are fame and art to be free of criticism? is it victimhood when people point out the parasocial and expositional practises that gave you your fame, which you intentionally intertwined with your image?
I won't brush aside the misogyny that came with it. I believe women have the right to feel safe, supported, their sexual exploits not held against them, their career progression not halted purely because of their gender, that artists have ownership over their work.
but do I think they are owed fortune, that a couple months being reclusive in million dollar mansions and jet-setting around the world equate to 'cancellation', that people becoming aware of hollywood PR ploys is misogyny, that public favour is owed and losing it is the highest punishment (especially when they actively wield their team to push puff pieces to bury their own and their associate's/partners' bigotry), that speculation about a public figure's personal life is the greatest crime, that their own role in their career deserves to be seen simultaneously as that of an innocent subject of magical coincidence AND a mastermind strategist (but never the dagger of "calculated"), that their cries and causes should be heralded and never doubted or viewed with a critical eye even though the activist outfit is only ever put on for themselves, that they should be viewed as a brand when they want to shirk responsibility and an individual when they demand sympathy, that fame is owed, that any common person should think about all of this - consider their 'full story' and believe the image they want to sell of themselves? that we should be actively celebrating their excessiveness (it's for our own good!)?
no. maybe because i lack empathy for the rich and famous, but it all seems very out of touch. it's never been more blatantly about consumer feminism, bread and circuses, a prayer to her own idolatry, even further out of reach at the moment.
her fixation on the past, her own endlessly self-referential world, speaking about "defeating enemies"..... its just fascinating. and confirms to me that her main gripe has always been with the contradictory nature of her own fame. why can't she have it all? i don't say this in a bitter way, i think she's just an interesting case study, especially watching her career come up from the beginning. you only enjoy the circus when they are cheering for you. and she seems to have leaned into that more recently. i don't know what has gone on in her personal life (seemingly many references to a "life she gave away"), but it seems to have driven her closer to that, aware that at least in THIS world (that of fame, fortune, etc) she is somewhat an insurmountable titan not even stoppable by "a force majeure", whatever she may claim. maybe she can't control her personal life, but she can control this to a degree, and if not, the things that stand in her way can be / must be regarded the most unjust of nondescript "social structures".
again.. no hatred, just fascination. her image, success, and fan relationships hinged on relatability for so many years. this feels like a departure from that. an acceptance that she is extraordinary and that even her struggles are out of reach for the common man. she's operating in a different echelon, she's the centre of her world (why wouldn't she be), and she is free from the shackles of self reflection on her place in the broader world... I guess she's too soft for it all. I don't know... an interesting change. I'm sure someone smarter than me has something more interesting and eloquent to say.
90 notes · View notes
Note
This might sound transphobic maybe (?) But as someone who is trans myself I promise it's not meant that way.
I was wondering about what exactly it means in the Clans to be a tom, molly, neither, etc. And to transition fron one to another. (Regarding your post however long ago about how they don't label things and just say stuff like "she was a tom and now she's a molly") Basically I'm asking what's the concept of gender/gender roles for them if that makes sense? I didnt notice any clear differences between treatment or opportunity for them but I also haven't read it in awhile so what I do remember at all is kinda fuzzy, and generally male and female cats don't look much different so I guess I'm just curious if it's just more of a vibe thing or not /gen
Again sorry if this is weird to ask!!
No you're good I love transphobia <3
All joking aside, the clans very much do not have gender roles! Transness therefore looks very different to them. While it sometimes comes with bodily dysphoria (for instance, Russetfur does not like any of the tom characteristics she has. When she takes a mate and they have kittens, she opts for a surrogate instead of siring the kittens herself due to that dysphoria) it usually has more to do with identity and, to a point, parenthood.
A lot of the time, a cat becomes because they want to honour or embody a piece of someone else. If Whitestorm had lived, he would have decided to be a molly based on his close relationships with the mollies in his life, especially Bluestar and Frostfur. What that means is different to every cat, about as individualistic as transness in real life.
And then sometimes it has to do with parenthood. Redtail lies more in this category--he related heavily to his father, Thrushpelt, and they were a big influence on why he decided to be a tom. Things went a little awry when he had kittens, because he had trouble reconciling that with his identity, but once he no longer needed to nurse them he felt a lot better about being a parent.
Mossflower is also a good example! Before she had Greystripe, Mossflower identified as a tom. When she had her first litter, though, she decided she wanted to be a mother (has to do with her feelings around Bluestar, who was very distant, and Rosetail, who helped raise her in Bluestar's stead). In Darkest Hour, she'll make the decision to return to tomhood, because she's finished having kittens and isn't as much a mother anymore (to that point, though, her kittens will continue to call her mom!)
The Town cats are a different story, though. They don't have much of a central sort of culture, so gender can range from being very tied to sex to not at all. Brick has no strong feelings about anything to do with their sex OR gender, hence the they/them pronouns. When they eventually got neutered, they weren't too bent out of shape about it--and in fact they found they enjoyed the new hormone-free mindset.
64 notes · View notes
Text
The Provost's Dog series is amazing in how Tamora Pierce calmly and nonchalantly addresses sexuality, relationships, gender, and gender roles.
In the very first few chapters we have Rosto, Kora and Aniki together in some sort of a poly/open/threesome relationship. It's never actually stated directly what their relationship is, if it's romantic, open, sexual but not romantic, queer platonic, if Kora and Aniki are together, ect. But real life relationships are not black and white. And very few people advertise the exact details, and good friends don't really ask or make a big deal about it. Which is exactly what happens in Terrier. And it's a very healthy relationship. Kora decides to date Erksen instead, and Rosto and Aniki are completely fine with it. There is no resentment, fighting or jealousy. As Kora says, she is her own woman. I have never seen such a drama-free relationship in a young adults book before. It really shows a young reader that relationships can be simple and you can still be friends if it doesn't work out.
And then the sneaky descriptions of "spintry." Another term for a male prostitute. There is no judgement for a spintry, no one finds it strange and both female and male prostitutes are treated exactly the same, as just a job, as any other in the Rouge's Court. It was such a simple and refreshing take in a children's book, and it's done so well with no judgement or any acknowledgment that it's not normal.
That feeling of normality is an ongoing theme in the Provost's Dog books. There are a lot of shocking and liberal topics in the books, but they are treated as normal, everyday things, so it takes away any shock value and makes the reader simply accept it. Considering most readers are teens, that's a pretty great thing.
Take Okha/Amber. A transwomen/gender queer person who is in a long-term relationship with a man, a police captain. It's described as a normal thing. Beka is a bit confused at first, because she has never met a gender queer person before, but accepts the explanation and moves on. Amber's gender is never really fully explained, but thay makes sense. Gender isn't simple. In a fantasy world without modern labels, Amber is just Amber. They are who they are.
Beka has several flings throughout the series, and its treated normally. That is not usually seen in a teen book. The main female character having casual relationships, going into them knowing they won't last? That is super rare, and is how real life works. It's a great break from normal ya relationship drama.
There is some relationship drama in the series, with Beka's fiance, Holborn. He dies before Mastiff starts, and we never met him. But later, it is revealed that she was planning on breaking up with him because he was emotionally abusive towards her. She ends up meeting Farmer and getting over Holborn quickly. She feels guilty for not feeling more guilty over his death, instead feeling relieved that their toxic relationship is over. She loves some of the time they spent toghether though, and she does mourn him. It's a fascinating and nuanced relationship you never see in a ya book. But her and Farmer's relationship is wonderful.
As a young teenager growing up in a conservative, rural, small town, the Provost's Dog books were revolutionary, not that I realized it at the time. The book's description of gender, of relationships was so normal I didn't even realize it could be something debated. I just accepted it as normal. Okha/Amber was the first time I ever learned thay trans/gender questioning people could exist, and I just acted like Beka, accepted it and moved on. When people talked about poly relationships, how strange and unusual it was, l was confused, because Kora, Aniki and Rosto were normal to me. Learning prostitutes were discriminated against was shocking. Complicated relationships were normal.
I remember once in highschool, my teammates were talking about a scenario where your husband cheats on you with another woman, and that woman had a child with him, and they are now homeless. Your husband loves this woman and you. Would you accept the child and the other woman living with you? Or something inane like that.
I said, "Well, yeah, if she's a good person. If my husband loves her, then she's probably a good person, and I would try to fall in love with her too. And raise the child together."
My teammates did not expect that answer. I suppose I should have realized then I wasn't straight lol.
119 notes · View notes
transbeeduo · 3 months
Note
I wonder if around Bug's Tubbo ever thought about Manberg, and the pregnancy lie that was just sort of never addressed, and the suits, and Schlatt's idea of what a man was. And now hes in his pregnancy clothes, and he has his husband who loves him dearly, and his child, and he's older than Schlatt ever was, and just like. having the only explicit discussion of gender come when you're sixteen from a guy who is terrified of being perceived as weak in any capacity and is going to kill you in less than a month who you also view as a role model/a frightening thing you could become and then going on to figure out being a trans guy and a father must be. something
GOD GOD GODDDDDD this is making my brain explode and do backflips
I do genuinely think Tubbo thinks about his time in Manberg from like. A gender standpoint a LOT. Because he wasn’t transitioned yet at that point! He figured out “oh shit i think im a guy” DURING manberg which combined with how Schlatt was talking about manhood and how Tubbo should ask is. Probably not the best place for a trans teen to be figuring himself tbh. mannnnn does the idea of the only real discussion of gender he’s had was a unhealthy view of it from Schlatt and him being older than Schlatt now is like!!!! fuck man!!!! Tubbo’s had to learn so many things he knows himself, how to cook for himself, how to fight, how to survive. It’d feel natural for him that he has to learn gender stuff himself too…
AND HIM THINKING BACK ON THAT TIME AND BEING LIKE “ohhhh shit im older than schlatt now aren’t i?” IS SOOOOO GOOD OUHG. I don’t think it really sets in to Tubbo that like “holy shit all the shit that’s severely scarred me was like. 20 years ago” until he’s pregnant yk? And it’s like. Wow he’s happy!! Sure pregnancy is like. A miserable experience a lot of the time but like, he’s in a place in his life where he’s not terrified someone’s going to hurt and kill him! enough to be pregnant even! He’s comfortable, he’s got a partner who loves him and makes him not want to burrow under the ground and hide the entire pregnancy or yk. Rip that thang (bug) out himself. He’s doing okay, and that’s like. All he really wants honestly
39 notes · View notes
vexingwoman · 1 month
Note
I’m loving hearing everyone’s thoughts on whump. Many such cases of ostensibly straight or bisexual women consuming nothing but torture porn (with a tasteful side of woobie coddling or “caretaking”) for gay male pairings almost exclusively. Extreme rambling below because I’ve been thinking about this forever and I’ve never seen anyone else talk about it in a meaningful way.
The non-sexual elements of whump are actually even more interesting to me, especially since even that is still reserved for gay male characters (or straight male characters being written as gay for fic). The whole caretaking part, the way so many whump writers often deride canon material for failing to properly explore the sort of pain they think their fandom faves ought to feel (more accurately: exhibit). Many whump fics are non-sexual but the voyeuristic attention to the suffering of its gay male protagonists feels sexual, in a fetishistic way. There is no similar equivalent to people paying this much precious, mawkish attention to the traumas experienced by female characters. Even if it mirrors or exceeds the actual amount of canon emotional catharsis experienced by their male counterparts.
And I really don’t think these women are a 1:1 equivalent to men who can only get off watching extremely violent porn about women. I don’t even think it comes close to the level of harm those men cause. But I would like to ask the people who consume and produce this content: Why is it only ever about gay men? Why is suffering, crying, rape, terminal illness, torture, etc. such a heavy erotic fixation for them?
And unfortunately I cannot picture any response that isn’t either 1) pornsick or 2) violently defensive.
Very eloquently said. In my experience, aside from admitting that it’s a fetish or misogynistically claiming that male characters are more complex and easier to empathize with, the most common answer I’ve received to the question of why this community focuses almost exclusively on male characters is that it’s an “unexpected and intriguing reversal of gendered expectations.” And while this may be true for some, I’m not convinced this is the main reason.
Because obviously, having a female character abuse and torture the male character would also constitute as an unexpected reversal of gendered expectations, but this community isn’t fascinated by that. Both the character executing the abuse, and the character receiving the abuse, are virtually always male—and the character who plays the role of the caretaker, of course. Coincidentally, I just ran into some stats which really emphasize the point, not that they were needed:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Also, have you noticed a strange upsurge in ridiculously abusive and shockingly violent homo-erotic media? I’m referring to stories like Killing Stalking or Hannibal here. Of course, these kinds of stories have always existed, but I feel like the fascination in them has recently spiked. I recall that even ten years ago the most popular media on gay male relationships was mawkishly adorable—what some would call “fluffy.”
You have to wonder how much of a role that plays in all this. I know for many girls, these vicious homo-erotic stories were their first real exposure to whump content. Maybe they prefer gay male whump content because it’s all they know? But again, that seems too convenient an answer.
In conclusion, I think this is just a mixture of fetishization and internalized misogyny, as I’ve said. In another post, I’ll go further into why I think it’s actually false to argue that male characters are more complexly written and easier to empathize with, and how the real culprit is not the writing, but gendered stereotyping and unconscious misogyny.
If anyone wants to chime in and give their perspective on this, please do.
29 notes · View notes
eryanlainfa · 1 month
Note
important thought i just had. how do you imagine hugo’s gender nonconformity like how does he identify with any label in particular or is he just Like that. and more importantly do you think he’s already figured it out by the time he meets the gang or do you think the egg breaks later. BC SEE i’ve always imagined up until the trials shes never had the time to think about herself at ALL, like she obviously knows shes kinda *flicks wrist* yk but otherwise she’s never really actually come to any real conclusions about herself. so i think as soon as they move in with varian and once they’ve finally settled and they have SO much free time and so many things going on in their head, they’re trying new hobbies and finding all sorts of things to tinker with and most importantly they finally have the opportunity to care about their appearance and suddenly the gender crisis hits them like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN
all this is to say because. I was thinking about that again today and then i remembered aiden and it was like my third eye opened bc i realized the sheer potential in that scenario with airigo. like i feel like aiden would’ve seen that shit coming a MILE AWAY and i think that’d be so cute and also so fucking funny and. I need to hear your thoughts ok
[Hi. Future Ery talking. I started rambling and I have no clue if what I said is actually coherent or even answers your question at all- But the idea was there! Also I personally headcanon everything and anything, I love switching labels of one character and making a whole new au for it. But covering EVERYTHING would be too long so I answered regarding Aiden's main timeline only- but if you want me to talk about transfem Hugo in particular I'd love to!!]
Sobbing and crying this is so cute and funny your brain is wonderful mwah mwah. I think all you said could 100% work and I can see a version where it would make sense for Hugo to not had the time to discover themself properly. And Aiden just clocking her right away is so funny 😭
Saddly it wouldn't work in Aiden's original timeline simply because, in this case, Hugo wouldn't be Hugo if he hadn't transition already.
I've never really openly delved into my headcanons for the whole gang, because I like people being able to interpret my art however they want (and also because I can change my mind whenever and no one would know-). But in Aiden's universe, Hugo isn't amab.
But to go back on how I imagine Hugo's gender noncomformity!
Firstly, in universe, I'm not sure neither Hugo nor Aiden really identify with a gender label. They don't really have a word for it so they're just how they are. But I personally label him as bigender transmasc. And I do still label them as gay. Cuz. Queer homosexuals representation. Yay.
Secondly- Hugo actually transitioned before figuring out his gender. Being an orphan is already harsh, being poor is terrible and he figured being female generally made things more difficult. So she didn't want to be one. When he got recruited by Don for the first time he was already dead set on not wanting to be a girl and didn't have a name anymore so Donella is the one who named him Hugo. I think Don was "supportive" as in she really didn't care, and if helping Hugo transition meant he would be more useful then that worked for her just fine. So Hugo got to transition but it wasn't really because he didn't feel like he wasn't a girl, she just didn't think it would be advantageous for him to be one.
Sorry I got sidetracked- cough- Back on topic.
One thing I wanted regarding Hugo's relationship to gender is the fact that he is comfortable being fem BECAUSE he got to transition.
For work they would play whichever role worked best no matter the gender. At first, looking like a guy needed more work, which bothered him because it was his goal, so for a while he had a clear preference for appearing masculine. But years later, after having transitioned to a comfortable point, she figured she really didn't mind being either gender. And it made playing different roles even more fun and easy for them. Not necessarily in a fluid way, he's just everything at once most of the time.
So he already got herself figured out quite well when 7k starts. Actually, Hugo being openly queer is another reason why she caught Aiden's interest so fast. And I wanted them to mirror each others in a way, with Hugo being comfortable because he transitioned and Aiden being more comfy doing the absolute bare minimum-. Also I had this one joke that sometimes Nuru and Hugo would have girls nights during the journey. So I needed she/her Hugo for all of this to work lol. But I do believe Hugo still gets to affirm and discover himself even more after he settles, it's just mostly about other things.
BUT YOU KNOW WHO'S EGG GOT TO CRACK DURING THE TRIALS IN MY MIND-??? Varian. He's agender. My whole gang is trans and the joke was that Varian is the token cis guy of the group (because I thought it was funny). But he isn't. He just doesn't know because he's always too busy thinking of literally anything else and he never really registered that was an option. He still uses he/him tho. Because I enjoy gender fuckery.
In summary :
Tumblr media
○ Bigender ○ agender ○ genderfluid ○
Also, since I decided to finally talk about my headcanons, I think too many people assumed Aiden is the one pregnant -in that one comic-. They aren't.
19 notes · View notes
genericpuff · 1 year
Note
I'm going to try to say this without sounding condescending. But every time I see someone coming into the critical/anti tag to defend LO, specifically the gross maturity/power difference and it's implications, the blog is almost always run by a child. Like, their bio will say 14 or 15, or you can just tell that whoever wrote it is either an actual child or very immature adult. I think it's a testament to the fact that LO very quickly falls apart with any real scrutiny that someone who is immature/young and inexperienced won't apply. And it's also disheartening, because the comic is obviously appealing to a very young audience (mostly young girls), so while an adult with maturity and worldly experience will be able to discern "hey, even though this story is trying to paint such a gap in age and power as something both healthy and romantic, this isn't okay in reality", a child probably won't. It makes me angry with RS and honestly a little sad when I see a comment from a young girl saying that Hades is "goals" or that "Persephone is an adult so it's a-okay". I just have to hope that they have other influences, so if a predatory person comes around trying to be "their Hades", they won't think it's okay.
Not condescending, but definitely concerning. And I say this as someone who's been chronically online since age 14, sometimes the adults around you do have a point when they say "be careful on the Internet". It's not meant to be condescending, it's not meant to be putting anyone down for their age, it's just the reality - there are a lot of shitty things advertised to younger audiences that really shouldn't be consumed by younger audiences. Especially when it comes to things that are easily internalized (like romance, relationship dynamics, etc.)
It's why I've gone on about how LO is basically morally bankrupt at this point, along with many other comics in the romance genre on Webtoons - so many of them are problematic, promote unhealthy relationship dynamics, put a lot of emphasis on normalizing otherwise shitty people and attitudes, and outright objectify women in a very fetishizing if not often sexist way.
Unfortunately WT has figured out that these sorts of stories sell to their main demographic - because their main demographic are made up of literal children who don't know better, and emotionally immature adults who never LEARNED better. It's not a problem that's exclusive to romance webtoons, nor is it one that's solely on RS' shoulders, but it's definitely one Webtoons and RS themselves have capitalized on in a very manipulative way.
It also doesn't help that when you go back far enough in RS' art history, you can see there's a very obvious pattern of her fetishizing innocence and youthfulness, particularly in girls and "little girl" relationship roles (see: she read Lolita and clearly completely missed the point of what it was trying to say). Not enough for me to outright call her a p*dophile, but still enough to make me raise some eyebrows and wonder why she hasn't been called out for it in a more extreme way. I guarantee you if a man were writing this comic, it would have been crucified for its bullshit years ago. Her being a woman doesn't mean her work is automatically less prone to sexism or misogyny or the male gaze than what it would be if the genders were reversed. And I say that as an AFAB creator.
TL ; DR: no, I'm not surprised in the slightest that most of the people defending all the weird and gross infantilization and fetishization crap in LO are literally children. They don't know better, and it's technically not their job to know better because they're children, it's the responsibility of creators like RS to look at themselves in the mirror and ask themselves what the actual fuck they're doing. Unfortunately if the creator herself has internalized and normalized creepy and gross relationship "goals" like this for herself, she's not gonna see the glaring issues in peddling it to children.
55 notes · View notes
Note
I might be too queer to get the appeal, but I do have to wonder why so many straight women are convinced Persephone wanting to be the dutiful wife and mother to Hades' kids is somehow the real empowerment but Demeter's love and power to literally stop the world in its tracks and making two king gods bow to her demands to save her daughter ISN'T. It honestly feels like some sort of conservative psyop hidden behind a very thin "feminist" veneer.
it's very similar to the whole "wearing a full face of makeup is empowering if it's what you CHOOSE to do!" brand of feminism i think. i feel like the second you start challenging gender roles there's pushback from people who can't handle the idea of anyone wanting something different from what they want. i don't think it's a conservative psyop though i just think she didn't really examine it that much
211 notes · View notes