#I will post his boyfriends (who are my ocs)... eventually
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When you're very hot and very blue and your two horny boyfriends just so happen to be looking in your direction... @limonnazul your silly lil guy has captivated me
#mud draws#5.3.23#nyehehehe#you know this you've seen it however i need a funny clever caption#not my oc#friend oc#limonnazul#riot#my beloved#I will post his boyfriends (who are my ocs)... eventually#he's just so cute I'm obsessed with him
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the road not taken | myg
Summary: To have the job you’ve always wanted and the life you’ve always dreamt of you had to break a few hearts, including your own. Four years later after running away from your home, your family and friends, you realized that maybe you fucked up; you’ve been a bad daughter, a bad sister and a bad friend. Getting your shit together seemed difficult enough, you didn’t expect that it included facing the first man who ever broke your heart: your brother’s best friend.
part one: back home
part two>
—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc
—rating: +18
—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)
—warnings/tags: angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, slow burn, flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!
—words: 12k
—a/note: literally finding the courage to post this rn because yesterday i had an identity crisis and i wanted to delete everything!!! but i hope you like it more than me <3 feedback is very much appreciated, if you want to be on the taglist pls let me know!!
series masterlist | teaser | playlist
Four years ago.
In your almost twenty one years of life, you never had to spend the holidays without your eldest brother, you were never prepared for that. All the attention of your family was fixed on you now, making you feel like you were an only child for the first time. It felt weird, but nostalgic, like you were waiting for him to enter through the door at any moment. You supposed it was going to happen at some point, opening the gifts with just your mom, sitting on the front seat of the car for the first time while listening to christmas songs on the radio, only to arrive to your grandparents’ home and attempt to survive the questions of your future alone, that didn’t sound fun at all.
Simon, your eldest brother, didn’t die, by the way, he just got a girlfriend. A girlfriend? Yes, a girlfriend, that word wasn’t part of his vocabulary, or at least it wasn’t a few years ago when he left for college, but now all of a sudden he had a serious one, the kind who invited their boyfriends to spend the holidays with their families. Now Simon wore knitted sweaters, drank black coffee and listened to all the bands your uncle liked, he grew up, or something like that, but you didn’t think he grew up enough to get a girlfriend, to fall in love. Well, you hoped he was in love, you didn’t meet the girl yet but you hoped he was, at least that was what he said.
Yes, Christmas without your brother sounded a bit sad, but New Year’s eve on the other hand… didn’t sound so bad.
If your brother’s absence would’ve happened years ago, you would’ve planned this the same way as always, getting drunk with your highschool friends at the only decent party that there was in your hometown around that time, only this time he wasn’t going to be around to tell you to stop drinking or to take the joint off your mouth when you failed to hide from him to smoke weed. But this year you got sick of all that, you got sick of the same faces from highschool and all the girls who approached you just because they wanted to fuck your brother, or all the girls who fucked your brother’s best friend, maybe you got sick of the same music, the same party, the same people. This year you felt like you were seventeen again, too afraid to wish that something different could happen, maybe this time you weren’t coming home alone after watching Yoongi giving the first kiss of the year to some random girl, maybe this time your heart wasn’t going to hurt that much.
Yoongi, your brother’s best friend, was painfully always there in your life, you didn’t know how the mess that was your brother was able to have such a good friend, they knew each other even before you were born, when they were only four and met each other at basketball practice. Yoongi was always like your brother’s conscience, the voice of reason, the calm one, the designated driver ever since he was sixteen, the smart one, the boy every mother wanted as their son. Yoongi was the boy who helped you with your math homework when you were eleven, he was the boy who defended you when your brother made fun of you, the boy who gave you his joystick so you would stop crying when you found out your brother was making you play with the one that didn’t work. He was sweet and kind with everybody, you wished you knew that when you were twelve so you could save yourself the eternal heartache that came along with being in love with a man who only saw you as your brother’s little sister.
Yoongi was always mature, always wiser, always older. And you were always immature, always stubborn, always younger. Just a brat who couldn’t stand the fact that he was the only one you wanted, but the only one you couldn’t have.
Maybe forgetting about him when he went away to college was the best thing that happened to you, you pretended he didn’t exist during the school year and made yourself believe you got over it, that your heart didn’t jump every time you called your brother and you heard his voice in the background, that you didn’t read every birthday message he sent you since you were sixteen until you memorized them, that you didn’t compare every guy to him and that you weren’t annoyed when you realized that none of them was half as intelligent as him. You were obligated to pretend you weren’t condemned to look for his face in every crowd ever since you were a teenager. All that mental effort was wasted away when you came back home for the holidays and saw him sitting on your couch again.
You repeated the cycle every year as you pretended that your heart wasn’t tired of it, like seeing him that morning in your kitchen didn’t make your heart drop like you were twelve years old again.
It began when you heard voices coming from the second floor, an outburst of laughter, your mother’s laughter, and then the laugh that echoed so many times in your dreams, were you still in a dream? You thought you might be in one when you entered the kitchen and saw the long figure of the man, the long figure of Yoongi, sitting on a stool as he peeled a tangerine and listened to your mother talk, but the minute they noticed your presence they fell silent.
Two pairs of eyes landed on your sleepy face, making you aware that you were wearing your old pajamas, the one that was pink and had a bunny pattern all over it. You locked eyes with him and it felt like it hadn't passed a day since the last time you saw him.
“What are you two gossiping about so early?” You wondered out loud, slowly approaching the aisle of the kitchen, slowly approaching Yoongi, whose hair was slightly shorter from the last time you saw him and whose cheeks were still red from the cold outside. You arrived three days ago, confidently thinking that even if your mind was a mess at least you didn't have to see your brother's best friend's face.
In your mind, you cursed your mom for always telling him that he will be forever welcomed in her house.
“Why do you care?” He spat at you, following your figure with his eyes as you sat in one of the stools beside him. “That’s between your mom and me.”
“Dude,” You said under your breath, grabbing a tangerine from the bowl of fruits in front of you “You have to get a fucking girlfriend.”
Your mother frowned, annoyed, but Yoongi is too used to you to do anything else but laugh.
“God, darling, you barely open your eyes and you’re already cursing.” She complained, shaking her head in disapproval. You shrugged, pretending to pay full attention to the tangerine in your hands.
“It’s fine, Lila. I can handle her.” He said, carefree as ever.
You scoffed, “Yeah, sure.” You played it cool, as if that didn’t make your heart jump a little. “What are you doing here, anyway? Weren’t you supposed to come back for christmas?”
“Why?” He asked, “You want me gone?”
You saw a stupid smirk appear in his face, the same one you’ve seen countless times in the past. It seemed to be the only thing that could put out your cocky attitude.
“Don’t be stupid.” You managed to answer, running away from his eyes.
You heard him sigh “I finished early, I arrived last night.” He answered the question, reaching his hand under the counter to pinch your thigh, as if that could shake off your bad attitude, plot twist: it only made it worse. “That’s what I was talking about with your mom, I left Simon behind while he was still dealing with exams.”
“Such a good friend.” You joked.
“Maybe… But hey, he’s the one who ditched me for a girl after all.”
“Well, if it’s a pretty girl you can’t blame him so much.”
“If you say so…” He hissed, rolling his eyes “What about you, huh?” He changed the topic “What are you doing here two weeks early?”
“You see, this is my house.” You quickly replied, putting the first tangerine segment between your lips to avoid saying the truth. He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head.
Of course there was a coherent reason for why you weren’t in school right now, but since you arrived you couldn’t seem to quit the bad attitude, especially in the mornings, it was driving you crazy.
“You shouldn’t ask, dear.” Your mom intervened, turning around to wash her mug previously filled with coffee “Sensitive topic.”
Yoongi’s eyes shifted to you again, as well as his whole body, curiously raising his eyebrows.
“Sensitive topic.” You mocked your mother, annoyed that she used such words. She was quick to disappear from the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone. You wondered if she was already tired of hearing you whine.
“Don’t think I won’t ask you about it.” He smirked, stealing a segment of your tangerine just to annoy you.
Oh, you were sure he would want all the details.
“Whatever.” You gritted your teeth. “You only came to see Lila? I bet she would love to switch you with me.”
“I don’t doubt that.” Yoongi smugly said, ignoring the sudden annoyed look on your face, he was too used to it to be bothered by it. “But as much as I love your mom, I came to see you.”
You blinked, not sure what to say next. Now your angry expression turned into a surprised one, cursing yourself for feeling excited to hear that. You knew Yoongi finished early and was coming back home, you asked your brother about it last time he called you, you were just playing dumb when you asked, but when Simon told you he was going to be in town you didn’t expect to see him in your house the next day he arrived.
“Me?” You tried to confirm.
“Yeah, you.” He said, booping the tip of your nose “Simon told me you’ve been having trouble with your car, I thought I could help.”
You nodded, that made more sense than him just coming to see you.
“Simon is such a snitch.” You murmured.
“I can’t deny that…” He laughed, looking at you tearing apart your tangerine and putting another segment between your lips, “Do you… want me to help?”
“Maybe…” You murmured “Do I have to pay you?”
“Maybe…” Yoongi answered, imitating your tone “Or you can just tell me why you are here before the break, I don’t know.”
You squinted at him, knowing it was just a matter of time until everybody found out you dropped out of college, but there was certain relief in delivering the news to Yoongi, something inside you told you he would understand.
“Bold of you to blackmail me when I know you won’t fix my car properly.” You accused him, mentioning that time he tried to fix your brand new car when something happened to it and you had to take it to his uncle’s garage when he made it worse.
“C’mon, that was only once.”
“Let’s not make it twice, then.” You clapped your hands, getting off the stool to walk towards the stairs to your room again “Let me change first. And don’t try to seduce my mom while I’m gone, it won’t work.”
You heard his laugh from behind, and even if you thought about it, you didn’t dare to look back.
Not even five minutes later, you found yourself with him in your cold garage under the dim old light that provided you the tiny room. You supposed it was easier to open the garage door but you didn’t want your fingers to be frozen.
You sat on the old desk in the corner of your garage as you watched Yoongi open the hood of your car, trying not to stare when pulled the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows.
He was wearing a beige sweater that tightened around his shoulders and his waist, Simon told you that he and Yoongi started going to gym lately and you could tell, his back was wider than you remember and you hated how different he looked from the last time you saw him.
You hated to think there were people who saw him everyday and couldn’t tell the difference.
You looked at your feet hanging in the air, hearing him suck his breath just to let you know he was just about to start throwing questions at you.
“So?” He asked, persistent as always.
“So what?” You played dumb.
“So?” He emphasized, not willing to give up.
So? You didn’t know how to start. Serious talks weren’t your thing, and even if you knew that Yoongi wasn’t expecting that from you, you still felt a rush of nervousness when the absence of his voice filled the room, your cue to start talking.
“Mmm… It’s difficult to explain.” You trailed off. “I’m starting to think that I might be the black sheep of the family.”
Your words made him turn his head at you, curious to hear more.
“The black sheep?” He repeated.
“Yeah, I think so.” You confirmed, without saying anything else.
“Fine…” Yoongi scratched the back of his head, a bit confused, something that was normal when he was with you. “You’re not giving me a lot of context.”
You knew this, but making a joke was easier than telling the whole truth. You wished you could tell him jokes until he forgot what your mother told him. But no, your mother already opened her mouth and now you had to explain your life crisis to the man in front of you.
“Let’s just say.. I dropped out of the semester…” You mumbled, unsure of your own voice “but I’m thinking that it is not just the semester, maybe it’s the whole thing.”
Yoongi turned his whole body to you, paying full attention to your words “Really?” He asked, just in case you were joking, but by the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice he could tell that you weren’t playing. You just nodded “Why, though?”
“That’s something I’ve been asking myself.”
“You don’t know?” He chuckled, making you roll your eyes.
“Maybe I don’t know.” You tried to admit, but that was a lie.
“Mmm, but I think you do know, though.” He contradicted you, turning around to keep checking your car.
“Well, kind of… Do you want me to tell you half of the truth or a lie?” You offered him, leaving him without many options.
“Well, you are not very democratic, Pinky.” He scoffed, using the not-so-funny nickname he’s been calling you ever since you were kids. Only Yoongi could still be calling you like some character from an old cartoon that aired twenty years ago. “But I choose the half truth.”
“Wise decision, as always.” You commented, clicking your tongue. “The half truth is… that being a nurse is not my thing, I don’t want to be that predictable, being the bitch in highschool that ended up being a nurse. At least I want to be the bitch in high school who ended up being something else. And I was not happy at college, not even a bit. I don’t think that’s who I am”
Yoongi frowned, trying to process all the words you just vomited. If that was half the truth, what was the whole truth?
“Wait, wait. Let’s go for parts.” He stopped you. “So, now you were a bitch in high school?”
“You know I was.” You said, rolling your eyes.
Bitch was a strong word to call yourself, but to be fair you weren't being the nicest with yourself these past weeks. You stared at him, waiting for him to admit that yes, you were a bitch when you were seventeen years old, but that would be a lie. Yoongi would never have called you a bitch, you did have an attitude, you weren’t the friendliest in the mornings, you weren’t friends with everyone, you treated boys like shit, but you weren’t a bitch to him.
“Isn’t that too… harsh?” He asked softly.
“Isn’t it the truth?” You kept pushing it, but you were crazy if you think he’s going to agree with you.
Yoongi shook his head, taking a long step to break the small distance that was between the two of you so he could be in front of you. As a gentle gesture, he put his cold hands on your knees, it was not an unusual gesture, but it had been so long since you had him that close that you couldn’t help but shiver. “I know you don’t like me getting all sappy, but I hope you know that only you get to decide who you are, and if you don’t think that is a nurse, then it’s not.” He rubbed his palms on your clothed skin, searching for his last words. “But, I must say, I don’t think a bitch is who you are either.”
The cold room suddenly turned warm under his gaze, catching you with your guard down once again. You hated when he turned conversations into something like this, and worse, you hated when you bumped into the ugly reality that surrounded you when his eyes stopped looking at yours. This was not easier than last year, you wondered if it will ever be easy.
“Well, the boys in my class might disagree.” You said, looking straight into his eyes.
He laughed. “Well boys at that age are dumb.”
“Boys are always dumb.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Even me?” He asked, batting his eyelashes at you like he was a little girl.
“Especially you, I bet you don’t know what the hell are you doing right now with my car.”
Yoongi reached out to try to pinch your knees, but you escaped from his fingers. “God, you’re so mean.” He complained
“So mean?” You questioned, moving closer to him and pretending to be annoyed.
“Yeah, so mean” He repeated “But not a bitch.”
You rolled your eyes, watching him turn around again to come back to your car. You can’t help but feel disappointed when he moved away. “So… If you are not a nurse, what are you?”
You tilted your head, thinking about it. What were you? Well, in your room you were a dancer and in your dreams a mermaid, but in reality you were too embarrassed and too afraid, too insecure to admit what “you were”.
“I don’t know.” You hesitated to answer. You loved Yoongi, in more ways that you could ever allow yourself to love him, but you could not tell him all your dreams just like that.
“Liar, liar, pants on fire.” He sang, mocking you, but from your position you could only resist pushing him into your car. “You don’t have to say it, I already know.”
You quirked an eyebrow, curious. “Do you?” A smirk appeared on your face, but he couldn’t see it, he was still working on God knows what.
“Kind of…” He laughed “I don’t know exactly, but I do know that you are too bright to just be a nurse, with all due respect to the nurses, of course.”
You stared at his back until he turned his head to find your eyes, offering you a soft smile. You mentally cursed him, if he hadn’t turned around you could blush like a teenager without care, but now your cheeks were red and your heart was jumping, the only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t hear it from where he was standing.
“That isn’t very respectful to nurses.” You simply said, and he shook his head, laughing.
“Maybe, but I still stand by what I said.”
“Well, whatever I might be,” You started saying, trying to keep talking with all your feelings still swirling around inside your chest, “I still don’t want to disappoint any more people by making the wrong decision and coming back to live with my mom in six months.”
Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh, not because he was mocking you, but because he couldn’t believe how you couldn’t be at least a little positive, how you were only twenty one and you felt like there was no turning back.
“Who don't you want to disappoint?” He chuckled, “I really thought you didn’t care about that stuff.”
“I thought so too!” You exclaimed, just as surprised as him. “But I already disappointed my mom, Simon will be disappointed too when he finds out, I’m sure.”
“God, you’re so wrong, I don’t even know who I’m talking to right now.” He tried to joke, but the feeling of emptiness that had been living in your stomach for the past months didn’t go away just like that. “Do you really think that about your mom?”
“I don’t know!” You said, throwing your arms in the air to be just a little more dramatic that you were already being “But when I told her she made that face that she does when she’s annoyed or upset, now she wants to talk to me about the future every time we sit down to eat, she looks at me like that all the time, like she’s mad with me or something.”
For the past few days you tried to understand your mom, but you failed when you tried to understand yourself. After Simon followed Yoongi to law school, your mom expected you to do something similar, and when you decided to be a nurse she was content enough, both of her kids were off to college now, nothing could go wrong.
Your mom always bragged that she knew you like the palm of her hand, the only conclusion she could reach when you appeared at your house with the news was that you were never happy with what you had, you always had to have something else, something you couldn’t have. And even if you were about to be mature enough to admit she was right, you knew she wasn’t completely. Yes, you were a brat, but you felt in your heart this time was different.
“C’mon, Pinky. I don’t think your mom is disappointed, I’m sure she is just confused. You were two years into college, she must think this came out of nowhere, she’ll have time to understand that it didn’t.” He turned around a pointed a tool hanging on the wall, you didn’t knew the name of it, or what the fuck he was doing with your car, but you handed it to him anyway. “And, she’ll have even more time to understand that you’re not Simon and that her children are two completely different people.”
“Do you think?” You murmured.
“Yes, dummy. And you’re crazy if you think your brother would ever be disappointed in you for something like that, he is the first person that supports you no matter what, he’ll understand that dropping out of college is not the end of the world.”
You stayed in silence, not daring to say a single word after what he said. You wanted to say that you were tired of all of that, how predictable Yoongi was, how terribly annoying it was for him to always be right. How was it that he always knew what to say? Was it so hard for him to be wrong at least once so you could argue with him? So you could correct him and tell him that he was saying nonsense? Yes, it was. You just rolled your eyes, even if he wasn’t watching you.
“You’re insufferable.” You said, when what you really wanted to say was just “thank you”, but he understood.
“Maybe I am.” He laughed, “But at least I’m not the one trying to find excuses to be miserable.”
You watched him put the tools aside and closed the hood of your car, but you were too focused on something else to ask if your car was okay or not. He grabbed a piece of cloth lying next to you and wiped his hands, “What about my grandma?” You wondered out loud, like he knew what to do about that as well.
“You’re seriously not thinking about your grandma right now.” He leaned over your car, with his arms crossed over his chest while shaking his head disapprovingly. If it was any other guy doing that, you would have told him to get the fuck away from your car, but Yoongi still had his sleeves rolled up, which made you think it was okay for now.
“But I am.” You answered “I can already picture her face when she finds out, I can already hear the comments of her neighbor’s daughter, how she’s on her fourth year of medicine and I’m going back to square one again or some shit like that. The worst thing is that Simon is not here, so I’ll have to endure all of that alone.”
Yoongi was run by logic most of the time, so it was hard for him to understand how fast your imagination flew, but he knew that was part of your very theatrical self. It wouldn’t hurt him to become a little more like you, maybe being a rational person made him more intelligent, but sometimes made him more of a fool.
“And since when do you care what your grandma thinks?” He laughed, “She will always have something to complain about, to impress her you would have to be born again, but this time blonde and with blue eyes. Do I need to remind you again, that woman doesn’t have a loving bone in her body?”
“God, stop.” You sighed, fully knowing he was right.
“You stop.” He laughed, “Stop trying to make everyone happy but yourself.”
“Well, maybe that’s the hardest thing to do.” You murmured.
“Getting your shit together is the hardest thing to do, but I’m sure you’ll get there.”
Believing Yoongi surely is not the hardest thing to do for you, but when it comes to believing in yourself is a whole different thing.
“Says the man who always has his shit together.” You snorted “Difficult to believe you.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes, moving from your car to sit next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk “That’s not true.” He tried to deny it.
“Yeah, sure.” You bumped his shoulder “Name one time you couldn’t balance your personal life with your academic life.”
Yoongi straightened his back, crossing his arms over his chest and pretending to think about it.
“Mmm… Right now?” He murmured.
“Right now?” You repeated, raising your eyebrows in disbelief.
“Yeah, look at me.” He pointed at himself. “I don’t think I have a personal life at this point, all I could think about was finishing early to come home to my mom so I could take care of her, and guess what?”
“What?” You asked, curiously.
“She told me she already planned a trip with my aunt for both Christmas and new years. She ditched me, and now? I’m alone, I’m starting to think my personal life was just my mom.”
You covered your mouth, not being able to hold yourself back before bursting in laughter. “She ditched you?” You laughed, but he nodded, annoyed that you’re laughing at him. “Oh my God, she got rid of you.”
“She got rid of me.” He affirmed.
“Lucky her, honestly.” You teased him “Isn’t that proof enough that you have to relax with her? You’re in college worrying about her health and she’s here organizing trips with her sister.”
Yoongi shook his head, still in denial, “Maybe, but she can’t do things like this without letting me know first.”
“Why not?” You scoffed “She’s an adult, isn’t she?”
“She’s an adult, but I’m her son.” He huffed “And that’s all I’ve ever known to do, care for her.”
“Well, you can take care of her at the same time you take care of yourself.” You reminded him “I’m sure that’s what your mom wants as well, she would be pissed to know you’re forgetting about your own life being busy worrying about her.”
Yoongi knew you were right, he knew that more than anyone but still couldn’t help but worry about his mom. She had her siblings, who always knew how to take care of her, but he always felt like it was his responsibility as her son to do it, no one could take that thought off his mind. The only reason he brought it up was because you asked, but it was not a thing he wanted to discuss right now, he could put his social life on pause if that meant his mom was going to be okay.
He turned his head at you, offering you an amused grin as he ruffled your hair with his hand, willing to change the topic. “Why are you scolding me? I’m supposed to scold you.”
You pushed his hand off you, “I don’t need you to scold me, I have enough with my mom.” You sighed “Besides, if it were a competition, I would win. At least you have a future, I’m more fucked than you.”
“No, yeah. I’m sure of that.” He teased you back “You just have to make up your mind, I know it’s a mess inside there but I believe you can do it.”
“I hope so.” You said, and this time your words are sincere. “But for now the plan is to survive the holidays, then I can get my shit together.”
Yoongi laughed, sitting next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk. “Sounds like a good plan to me.” He agreed. “And you know, about christmas…”
“What about christmas?” You asked, at the risk of looking so visibly lost in his eyes.
“I was thinking… Since I don’t have any plans for Christmas…” He hesitated to say, lengthening the syllables of his words. “I was thinking… If you want to, I can go with you in place of your brother. You know, so you won’t be alone.”
The offering took you off guard, among all the things Yoongi could tell you, (the realistic ones, not the ones that only happened in your dreams) that was the most surprising. You had spent Christmas with Yoongi in the past, but your heart jumped at the thought of him spending Christmas with you, and not with your brother. Was he serious?
“Really?” You asked, afraid that he could see the excitement in your eyes “Would you do that?”
“Of course.” He smiled, “We can talk shit about your grandma together.”
You can hardly hide the smile on your face, you have to suppress the immense urge you have to hug him. “In that case, I would love it if you come.” You dared to admit “I mean, you owe me that for fucking up my car again.” You pointed at your car, already knowing that he couldn’t fix it.
He closed his eyes shut, throwing his head back “God, I’m sorry.”
Present
You had been wishing to sleep in your childhood bedroom for the past two months. You had been wishing to lay under the baby blue covers, have your mom kiss you goodnight and sleep a nap long enough to heal your heart.
You had been feeling like you were thirteen again for the whole year, thirteen and completely clueless, thirteen and scared, running home because you just saw your brother’s best friend kissing a girl at the bus stop, hiding under the covers and trying to forget that you were thirteen and there was no way he could ever see you the same way as that girl.
The last time that you visited your mom’s house was a year ago. You texted her every week, sent her and your brother gifts and tickets so they could see you in the current play you were in, but visiting her house was harder than it looked for you. You managed to come once every few years for thanksgiving, telling your mom that you were busy and that theater life was like that, but the truth was that after so many years you still couldn’t find the courage to spend more than two days in the town you grew up in, not after everything, not after Yoongi.
After so long, you were back where you started, running home after hitting a wall. The life you built with your own hands, the life that was supposed to be your dream turned out to be a lie, the boyfriend of three years you thought you loved was now gone, and the only person who ended up breaking your heart was yourself.
When was the moment you stopped calling you brother every three days? Or when you stopped showing up at every birthday? When was the moment you got so far from the person you used to be? You weren’t thirteen anymore, you were twenty five and just now you realized that no matter how many shiny people you have around, you are still alone and far from home.
Now you were headed home, with a bag full of clothes in the trunk of your car, prepared to install yourself in your mom’s house for the rest of the winter, determined to get your shit together, just like you thought you did a few years ago. Oh, how you wished you didn’t have to do this, how you wished you weren’t a complete mess. You wished you could enter your mother’s home and ignore the fact that you didn’t remember when was the last time you told her I love you, but to be fair with yourself, you didn’t remember the last time someone told you I love you either.
Your mom knew you were coming, she was the first one who knew about your break up with Ian, your boyfriend, so she was assuming that you were sad and heart broken, and even if that was true, it wasn’t because of the break up, you were the one who left him.
You didn’t know why, but you assumed that Ian understood what your relationship was, a sad pact that benefited both of your acting careers, a good image for the media, both of the most successful young actors being allegedly in love, and for you, just an arrangement to avoid being alone. How surprised you were when he got down on one knee and proposed, with his mom’s ring on one hand and a bunch of your so-called friends hiding in the distance, preparing to celebrate when you were supposed to say ‘yes’. He had a smile on his face, convinced that wasn’t the worst idea that ever crossed his mind. You thought it was clear that you never wanted to marry him, you believed you found someone who loved you enough not to leave you alone but not enough to marry you. God, you sounded crazy, but that was what you became, a superficial celebrity whose whole life was calculated enough so people thought it was perfect.
You felt like shit when you had to say no to Ian, but you had no other option. Everything was so fake it made you want to throw up, and on top of that, he was the asshole who didn’t even bother to invite your family to, what was supposed to be, your engagement party. If you were to say yes, where was your mom to hug you? Or to tell you that you were being mental for marrying someone you didn’t love? That was the moment when you knew you were about to lose it, that’s when you knew that if you stayed there you would’ve lost your mind, and you were so close to doing it, the only thing that finally woke you up was a marriage proposal.
You turned right, immediately recognizing you were close to home. You had to start doing things right, but where do you begin?
Four years ago
When you arrived home, the realization that almost every person in your life had found someone except you hit you. It started when your best friend, Emma, finally got a girlfriend last summer, then it followed with your brother spending the holidays with his new girlfriend, and now, to your complete surprise, you had to find out that even your mother was seeing someone for the first time in years.
Yes, at first you thought it was going be to weird to see your mother leaving you every afternoon to have dinner with her new boyfriend, -whom she refused to present to you just yet-, but after the first week of cooking for yourself to sit in the kitchen island and eating while watching a random youtube video, you realized it was not weird, but it was making you feel extremely lonely. Love seemed to be everywhere around you, but not for you.
That afternoon you helped her do the groceries, but she had already warned you that, once again, you were going to have to cook for yourself since she was not going to be around tonight.
All your friends from home were still away and they weren’t coming back for another two weeks, so you were almost completely alone in your hometown. And without you wanting it, only one particular name swirled in your mind, wondering if he was as lonely as you were, which he probably was, but you didn’t want any part of it. You were still trying not to look around too much in the grocery line hoping to see a familiar face, forcing yourself not to look up when you knew you were passing his street. You promised that you weren’t going to wait to see him again, as if that way you could prove something to yourself.
You expected Yoongi to disappear only to see him again the day before Christmas, you were sure he wasn’t going to appear at your doorstep like that morning, it wasn’t going to happen, you convinced yourself of it. Because of that, on the way home when you were riding in your mom’s car as you came back from the store, you thought that maybe you were just hallucinating when you saw him waiting in your driveway.
Your mom got down from the car first, you watched her giving him a hug and then observed them talking, you were sure he was going to offer to help with the bags and you were sure your mom was going to smile and accept his help. Your mom loved Yoongi, and Yoongi loved your mom, you could see it. When Yoongi was a kid and his mother had to spend long days at the hospital your mom always opened the doors of your house so he wouldn’t be alone. Like you, Yoongi grew up without a dad, so his mom was lucky to have your mom to look out for him when she wasn’t around.
You mustered courage and got down, surrounding the car to get to the trunk where the bags were and finding him with his arms already busy.
“Hi, Pinky.” He let out and in the cold you could see his breath. His nose was red and his eyes crystallized from the weather.
You barely got to open your mouth to greet him before your mom spoke. “Yoongi was looking for you.” She told you as she headed to the porch.
“Really?” You wanted to know, just in case your mom was lying, for some reason.
“Yeah, really.” He answered, watching you grab the last two bags and closing the trunk of the car. “Do you have any plans tonight?”
Your heels suddenly dug into the ground, making you stop dead to check if you heard that right. Yoongi didn’t notice, he started to walk backwards, heading towards the door as he looked at you and invited you to follow him. You took the first step, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to react. Did you have any plans tonight? For a second your mind went blank, completely forgetting you had a date with Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn at nine pm.
You avoid his gaze, trying to come up with an answer. “Do you have any friends?” You asked. Classic you, insulting him in case he noticed your face was two seconds away from burning red. You heard your mom grunt as she entered through the door, but Yoongi just laughed.
“Do you?” He attacked back, smirking “Going to the store with your mom on a friday night, I thought you were popular in high school.”
“I was not, you must have confused me with my brother, we have the same nose.” You scoffed, walking with him to your house “And I do have friends, they’re just not around.”
“So you don’t have plans.” Yoongi confirmed for himself, letting you enter through the door first.
“No, not really.” You admitted, leading him to the kitchen to leave the bags on the counter. “Why? Did you want to take me out?”
The question was intended to come out as a joke, but it burned on your tongue. You often tortured yourself with those kinds of comments, but his answer was worse than any kind of cruel joke you could’ve made to yourself.
“Yes.” He said, leaving his bags next to yours. “That’s what I was thinking before you made fun of me for not having friends.”
You stayed quiet, pretending to look for something in the bags, pretending you weren’t screaming in your mind. Why on earth was he here? Why was he torturing you this way? You were enough of a mess, the last thing you needed was this, bringing you more torment than you already had.
You sighed, quickly coming up with another answer “Sorry I can’t retract myself.” You said. “But what were you thinking that was so important for you to come to my house instead of texting?”
“I was afraid that if I texted you would’ve said no.” He admitted.
You arched an eyebrow “Why?” You questioned.
“Because… I saw that the theater is doing a Christmas special, and they’re showing Home Alone tonight.”
“Which theater?” You asked, but you were fully aware which one was.
“You know, the one near the park with the weird fountains.” He said, confirming what you were thinking.
You wondered what to say next. There you had Yoongi, inviting you to watch a movie with him, ‒your favorite movie to be more specific‒ but at the place you used to secretly go to theater classes when you were thirteen until you finished highschool. You knew the place had those kinds of events where they showed old movies following a theme, as Christmas approached they never failed to show Home Alone as many times as they could.
Would it be so bad for him to find out that you used to be obsessed, maybe still were, with musicals? You never told him about that, let alone about the classes, that was something you used to keep to yourself and no one else, so going out with him meant to out yourself to him. It was inevitable for people to recognize you there, you knew a lot of your friends from back then were still very attached to the place, unlike you, who decided to leave everything behind once you left for college to be someone you didn’t want to be.
“I don’t know, I allow myself to watch Home Alone only once a year.” You tried to excuse yourself.
“I know that, that’s why I came here instead of texting” He said, “But I’ve come up with a solution, I tell you this, we can go and watch Home Alone tonight, and on Christmas we watch Home Alone 2.” He offered, but you felt offended he even dared to mention Home Alone 2.
“I don’t like Home Alone 2.” You reminded him. “I think it’s un-”
“Unrealistic that they lose Kevin twice, yeah, yeah, I know!” He interrupted you, stealing the words from your mouth. “But I like Home Alone 2, I think it’s still a good Christmas movie.” You stared at him with narrowed eyes, pretending to think about it, as if your heart was strong enough to even try to say no to him, even if that meant you had to go back to the place where you used to be a completely different person from who you were in school, and most importantly, even if that meant you would have to watch Home Alone 2. It was painful to admit that you already knew your answer when you saw him in your driveway. “Don’t be boring, Pinky. I’ve already got tickets.”
Just for a moment, while the dim lights of your kitchen lighted up his eyes as they begged you to go with him, you wished you had plans that evening already. You took a second to imagine a scenario where you told him that you weren’t free that night, that someone was going to pick you up later. You tried to imagine his face when you told him that you were in fact going out on a date with some other dude and pictured him heartbroken because you rejected him. But of course that wasn’t the case, your friends from college used to joke around and say that men ran away from you and only the brave ones were capable of asking you out, there was no way you were going out with someone who knew you in high school. And even if that were true, you lived in a reality where Yoongi wouldn’t flinch if you told him you were going out with someone else, a reality where you could never reject him. There was a part of you who enjoyed the pain of coming back to him, of being around him and living with the knowledge that at some point you'll have to get over him.
“Fine.” You finally gave in “I guess I could watch Home Alone 2 on Christmas”
He smiled victoriously, raising his fists in the air like he won some trophy.
You didn’t know what was worse, whether to have him around or not see him at all, you knew that the safest option was not seeing him, but your poor heart didn’t seem to understand that it was for the best.
Present
When you parked your car, you realized you didn’t have the keys to your house anymore. You were sure they were somewhere in your apartment back in the city, but even if you had remembered to look for them, you wouldn’t have found them, you had no idea where they were. It has been a long time since you thought about putting foot in your home, your real home, not the one back in the city, with countless empty rooms you had never used. They keys to your home, where were they? You bitterly laughed as you walked towards the porch, with your bags in your hands and your heart on your sleeve, that was how disconnected to the place where you grew up in you were.
The little pumpkins your mom put on the porch reminded you that the last time you were home was also october. The play you were in last fall was just about to end and you visited home for a weekend just to ask your mom to go and see you for your final performance. You remembered how angry you felt when she told you she and Phil, her boyfriend, had already planned a trip to Scotland for that same weekend. It took you a whole year ‒or even more‒ to realize that while you were busy living your life, your family was doing the same thing, you disappeared for months and they had no other choice but to keep going without you.
You stood in front of the big wood door for a few seconds, feeling like some prodigal daughter, until you decided to finally ring the bell.
As soon as your mom opened the door and you caught the surprised look on her face, you knew you weren’t supposed to be there, at least not yet.
“Darling! What…?” She breathed out as if she had seen a ghost, but to be fair you weren't far from looking like one, you didn’t remember the last time you had a proper sleep. “What are you doing here?”
You shrugged, not knowing if she was joking “I called you on the phone last month, don’t you remember?” You asked. The surprise on your mom’s face morphed into confusion, and for some reason it made your chest hurt a little.
“You told me you were coming Friday the 5th.” She said, but she didn’t move from the door, as if you were about to turn around, leave and come back for the date she thought you were coming.
“That’s… today.” You reminded her.
She frowned, raising her left arm to check the apple watch on her wrist, the one you gave her as a present for mother’s day a few months ago, immediately realizing that you were right. “God, where’s my mind?” She exclaimed, cleaning her hands on the apron she was wearing to grab one of your bags from your hand, finally leaning back to let you in. “Sorry darling, I don’t know what I was thinking when you called me.”
“It’s okay.” You said, more to yourself than to her, closing the door behind you “These days my mind is nowhere near, either.”
“No, it’s not okay. I can’t believe it flew over my head like that.” She kept complaining, taking off your coat for you to hang it on the coat rack “Do you have any more bags?”
You nodded “In the car.”
“Okay, let’s go grab them later.” She said, turning around to head towards the kitchen with a quick pace. “Follow me darling, I’m about to finish cooking, you arrived just in time for lunch.”
Well, your mom always seemed to be in a hurry, she was like every other mom after all, but today she looked more rushed than usual, making you wonder if your arrival was that unexpected, did you suddenly ruin her Friday just by appearing at her doorstep? The answer wasn’t clear to you, when she turned around you lost the chance to say that she shouldn’t worry since you were planning to spend the whole weekend in your room.. Now you were just trying not to look disappointed when she didn’t give you a hug as she disappeared into the kitchen.
You followed her, taking off your converse and throwing them somewhere in the hall. Your mom had enough energy for you both, it was like she forgot that you had been driving all morning to get there, maybe she thought you arrived on a jet, you didn’t know. You thought your tired face was sign enough that all you needed was a hot shower and a long nap.
“What am I gonna do?” She murmured to herself, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that you were there earlier. “Your room isn’t ready yet!”
You scowled, sitting on one of the kitchen stools. “What do you mean my room isn’t ready?”
“We’ve been using it as a storage room lately, until Phil adjusts himself.” She told you, but you didn’t understand a word she said. Storage room? Why was your mom’s boyfriend using your bedroom as a storage room?
“Mom, what are you talking about?”
“I’m sure I told you!”
You shook your head “Tell me what?”
She tilted her head with her mouth hanging open. You visibly saw her trying to remember something, filling the room with silence. Then, it hit her, her silence suddenly broke into laughter, she realized that, whatever was she was talking about, she didn’t tell you, you just didn’t know what. “Darling, Phil moved in september, how come we didn’t talk about this?” She let out, wondering out loud. “We are still getting the hang of it, he still has a lot of boxes, we decided to put it in your room for now.” She explained, like it was nothing, but you knew it wasn’t. It took her a long time before she introduced you to Phil, she always made it clear to him that her priority was her kids, so it was a big step for her to let Phil move in.
You shook your head, immediately avoiding her gaze when you felt a sudden rush of guilt washing over your body when you tried to remember when was the last time you spoke with your mom on the phone apart from last month, when you told her you were coming today.
“Oh, mom, I had no idea.” You said as if you were apologizing, you kinda were. “I’m gonna start looking for somewhere else to crash, I still don’t know for how long I’m staying.”
She waved her hands, rushing to interrupt you “My God, sweetie, no! You know you can stay here for as long as you want, this is your house!” She said, but you struggled to believe her “But I really thought you were coming next Friday! When was your last show?”
God, the last thing you wanted to think about now was work.
“Just last week.” You replied, hoping that she wouldn't want to comment too much about it.
“How was it?” She continued to ask, going against your wishes.
Terrible, you wanted to say, you couldn’t wait to get off the stage. You did your job and you left, all your partners begged you to stay for the after party but you were exhausted, you left as soon as you could. That was supposed to be an important moment for you, the wrap up of your first main role, a clear achievement of your short career. After you did the first show of the season you went to bed wishing it could last forever, but last week you were just relieved that it finally ended.
You wouldn’t tell that to your mom, you didn’t want to worry her, so you just told her a little white lie.
“Oh, it was great.” You smiled, hoping that in that way it would be more believable. “I had a great time, but I needed to come back home for a while.”
“Well, you worked hard, now you deserve to rest” She said “And besides that… how have you been, huh?” She asked with a soft voice, making you raise your gaze to find her warm eyes and a warm smile. You failed to remember that you couldn’t lie to your mom, she always saw through you, and to be honest she would be a fool not to notice the tired look on your face. It bothered you just a bit that the main reason why she was asking about it was because of the breakup.
“Why, because of Ian?” You asked.
“No just because of him, just… how have you been about everything?”
“Well, fine, I think so.” You kept lying “Me and him… I don’t know, I don’t think I felt the same way about him anymore, I had to end it, I’m sure he deserves someone who feels the same, right?”
She hummed, not really convinced. “You deserve someone like that, too, don’t you think?”
“Maybe.” You sighed “But that topic gives me headaches.”
Your mother snorted, “Well, don’t expect me to be satisfied with that answer, after you take a nap I’m gonna ask you all about that.”
“How nosy.” You chuckled. “You just want to talk shit about your ex son in law.”
“Of course, don’t act like you don’t want to do that too, I know you too well.” You rolled your eyes, but of course she was right. “Anyway, since I thought you were coming next week I planned a dinner for tonight with everyone, they’ll be so happy to see you, but you know, I understand if you want to skip it with everything that’s happening, I’m sure no one will ask about it, but still. You came here to be alone so I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed around a lot of people.”
“Ask about what? The news isn’t out yet” You asked, confused.
Your mom turned around again, looking as confused as you. “Haven’t you checked your phone today?” She asked cautiously.
“No, it died a few hours ago. I haven't had the chance to charge it in the car.” Your words made her confused expression fade into a concerned one.
“Darling, you might want to check it now.” She pointed to the charger that was connected next to the fridge. The look on her face could only mean that something wasn’t okay.
You slowly got off the stool, heading towards the other side of the room as you took your phone from your pocket to connect it to the charger. You knew it was just a matter of time until people found out that you and Ian broke up, but you thought the news would’ve be handled the same way as always, a statement from both you, the only reason why you didn’t do it yet was because you and Ian weren’t talking since the proposal happened.
When your phone finally turned on, a rush of anxiety ran down your body when a thousand notifications began to appear on the screen, including fifty missed calls from both your manager and publicist, you had a feeling that maybe the situation was worse than you thought. “What the fuck happened?” You murmured to yourself, looking at your mother in search for answers. “Did Sally call you?” You asked her, fully knowing that Sally, your manager, had strict orders not to bother anyone in your family with calls about anything related to work.
The room suddenly fell in silence, your mom hesitated to answer, you knew she didn’t want to be the one to give you bad news.
“No, but a friend of mine sent me an article.” She explained, her voice suddenly sounding small. “I didn’t read it, you know, I didn’t even open it, I don’t like gossip.”
Your mind tried to put two and two together; missed calls from your manager, an article about you, gossip, that didn’t sound fucking right.
“Fuck, I have to call her.” You gritted your teeth, wasting no time marking her number. You felt your head swirling just by imagining the sound of her voice yelling at you for not answering her calls.
Less than five seconds later, like she was waiting by the phone, she picked up. “Fucking finally.” Was the first thing you heard, “Where the fuck were you?”
The irritated tone on her voice took you by surprise, making you jump in you place “Driving, for four fucking hours.” You rushed to say “My phone was dead, what is going on?”
You heard her inhale, trying to keep her calm “Every single person in the world is trying to reach me right now except you. It’s a mess.”
“What?” You try not to yell “I just got home, I don’t know what’s happening.”
“Honey, it got leaked, has no one told you yet?”
Then, a beat of silence. The stress on her voice is enough to make you believe her, you didn’t have to think twice. Of course something like this was going to happen to you, you couldn’t run away from the city and pretend everything behind was going to stay as it was, your life from six hours ago was still there, and it was still a fucking mess.
“What part?” Was the only thing you could say. You felt yourself entering a cloud of uncertainty, your fist clenched on your lap and while you listened to her sighing, preparing you for the answer, you held your breath as if that way you could stop time.
“Everything.” She spat. “Listen, I didn’t want to freak you out with this, I tried to keep this situation on the low but it happened anyway. The story’s out, pictures are out, every fucking thing is out.”
You suddenly tense, feeling your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach
“What? What do you-?” You stuttered.
“I know you didn’t want anyone to find out about the proposal but it's the main headline, sweetie.”
Sally is not someone who’s known for sugarcoating her words, she was straightforward and didn’t mind being the person who delivered bad news, but today you could tell she was especially stressed, you were sure she was trying to handle this issue alone with you being gone for hours.
“Fuck.” You hissed “What about him, have you called his manager?”
“Of course I called his manager, but all of a sudden that prick doesn’t want to collaborate with me on this, apparently Ian doesn’t fucking care, how about that?”
“How come he doesn’t care?” You asked exasperatedly.
“That’s the idea that I got when his manager told me to manage this issue myself.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath as you took a moment to think about it. You knew Ian well enough, but you always held onto a kind version of him, the version of him who made you stay for so long, the version of him you chose to remember so your memories weren't all bad, but that version made you felt guilty for the question that was rotting on your mouth, waiting to be spat.
“Do you think it was him?” You asked her, but her bitter laugh on the other line made you realize it wasn’t a difficult question to answer.
“I mean, would that be so crazy?” She said “You and I are pretty sure who called the people to take those pictures. He's not happy, honey, to him this is just payback for what you did.”
That word echoed in your mind for longer than you would’ve wanted to, was that the way he decided to put this to an end? Payback?
Four weeks ago, you thought that was it. When you were at the backyard of the house of Ian’s grandparents and you saw him on his knees, asking you to marry him, you thought that was the moment when every bad decision you ever made caught up to you, when everything exploded in your face. Now you realized it didn’t end there, everything you’ve done still has consequences.
You closed your eyes, trying to ignore your mom’s eyes in the back of your neck. You left the room, coming back to the hall so you could be alone. You couldn’t just hang the phone and pretend none of that happened, as tempting as it sounded, you had to take care of it. “Okay, now what? Can you clean it?”
“I’ve been trying, but it can’t disappear, you know? It’s been up for a few hours.” She replied.
You nodded, as if she could see you “Okay, listen, it doesn’t matter. I can’t deal with this right now, I don’t care where it came from, I don’t care how the pictures look, what people are saying, I don’t want to know any of it. If people saw it, I don’t give a fuck, it’s me who doesn’t want to see it.” You firmly said “If the story’s out, fine, but I don’t want any major media posting the pictures, can you do that?”
You heard her humming “Mmm, are you sure you want to handle it in that way? No statement to the media? No post on instagram? Just radio silence?”
The thought of making a statement about your relationship in public made you want to throw up, “Are you kidding?” You laughed “There’s no way I’m making a statement about this if you can’t even get Ian’s manager on the phone for him to do the same. If I say anything about this and he stays quiet I’m going to look worse of a villain than I already am for rejecting him.”
“Honey, I don’t think you understand this.” She stopped you, “This isn’t just news that you broke up, this is news that he proposed to his girlfriend of three years and she said fucking no, a.k.a a scandal.”
You rolled your eyes, wanting to curse her for treating you like a five year old child. “No, hear me out, I’m not playing his game anymore.”
“You’re not the one who’s playing his game, he’s the one playing in yours.” She emphasized, “Let me be clear with this, and I’m trying to be nice even though I’ve been working all morning to get this to disappear just for you. You were the one who decided that the relationship was going to have this kind of publicity, you can’t back down now. This could harm your image, you need to make a statement whether he does the same or not.”
You stopped for a second, hating how right she was. Every bit of your relationship with Ian was out to the public, that was the whole point of it from the beginning. Your image as an actress wasn’t entirely constructed by your work, you took charge into making every piece of your private life part of it too, you sold it of your life to the public. After so many years of sharing everything with the media and fans, you knew it would be strange to stay in silence now, but in a matter of seconds the words piled up in your mind, making you see how ridiculously soulless a statement like that would look, lying about how much love and respect you held for Ian but at the end it didn’t work out, that you decided to stay as friends since you still loved each other so much, when the truth was that he was the one who leaked the pictures in the first place.
You were once again reminded to face the consequences, and that was what you were about to do.
“Sorry, Sally, but I'm not making a statement.” You let out, nervously tapping your foot against the floor “I started it, you’re right, but now I’ve decided to end this here. This is my private life we’re talking about, let me keep this thing to myself. The only thing that they need to know is that we’re no longer together, and from now on the only information they’ll get of me is about my work, are we clear?”
Your whole body shook in anticipation, expecting her to yell at you and tell you to do whatever she said, because you knew she knew better. You hoped she somehow didn’t see through your mask, you weren’t as hard as you wanted to sound, you weren’t as confident as you wanted to be. For years working with her you trusted her advice against all odds, and you knew she always meant well, she was just doing her job, but at this exact moment in your life you needed to stay silent.
She hesitated to answer, battling with herself and the love she had for you. “Look kid,” She said “I’m going to let you do what you want, but if this doesn’t end well I’m going to look for you in whatever farm you’re staying in right now and I’m going to strangle you, now are we clear?” She asked, repeating your last words.
It took you a second to understand what she just said, you felt so anxious you didn’t understand if she was giving you a green light or not. When you snapped out of it, you realized it was the closest you’ve felt to be relieved.
“We are clear.” You confirmed.
“I sure hope so.” You heard her sighing once again “I’ll make it disappear and you make sure to keep your phone close in case something happens. Can you do that?”
“Yeah, sure, I’m sorry for the trouble.”
“It’s fine.” She brushed it off “At least you’re not dead, I would’ve felt guilty for cursing you so much.”
“God, maybe the news of my death would make the news about the proposal disappear.” You tried to joke, fighting against the horrible feeling you still had on your stomach.
“Okay, kid. I’m hanging up before you get more morbid. Take care, okay?”
You chuckled quietly, “Thank you, Sally” You said before she hung up “Really, I appreciate it.”
The call ended, leaving your ears ringing and your heart hammering against your chest. You stayed in the hall, sitting on the first steps of the stairs and trying to make sense of what just happened.
You were aware that Ian was angry at you, you couldn’t tell if you broke his heart but you knew that you hurt his ego, and somehow that was worse. You had to admit that your ego was as big as his, so you understood he had to do the same thing to you. Sally was right, you led yourself to this, you managed the circus that was your public life and you were the one who chose him to cover up how miserable you felt. You still felt your blood boiling just by thinking how cruel it was what he did, and at the same time you couldn’t allow yourself to be angry at him because you thought you had it coming.
You thought you were so stupid for thinking that once you got here you were going to be okay, as if you could run away from yourself, as this house was a bunker, protecting you from everything you ever did. Suddenly, you felt all your emotions stacking up your throat, you felt your eyes burning before your whole face was soaked with hot tears of regret, you didn’t even remember when was the last time you cried, that’s how fucked up you were.
You covered your face, sobbing against your palms as you tried to calm yourself, remembering your mom was waiting for you in the kitchen and you had to come back to be a functioning person, but before you could, you heard her steps approaching you, gasping when she found you crying.
“Darling, what happened?” She asked, the concern in her voice made your heart hurt.
You quickly wiped your tears with the sleeves of your sweater as you watched her kneel beside you. “Nothing, just…” You tried to lie, but what was the use of that? She would know, and you were still going to continue carrying the pain on your chest for the rest of the day. You shook your head, feeling her thumbs wiping your tears from your face.
“It doesn’t look like nothing.” She whispered, like it was a secret between the two of you. “It’s about the article, right?” You nodded.
“It’s…” You inhaled, trying to catch your breath. “It’s about more than that.”
And then, the truth. As if you were a criminal caught in the scene of the crime, you had to tell the truth.
After you spent the whole afternoon trying to explain to your mom what was going on with your life, nothing could erase the worried look on her face, looking at you like you were thirteen and you had the flu, wanting to take care of you until it went away.
You felt ashamed, but you couldn’t keep lying to her, not completely at least. You had to tell her that you were never really in love but you felt so alone back in the city, you didn’t have anyone else. Most of your friends were fake, you were tired and sometimes overworked, not even your job was making up for the miserable life you were living anymore. You knew Ian was seeing other women and you couldn’t even find it in yourself to confront him about it, terrified that he’ll leave you in your big apartment alone. Your mom listened with a frown on her face, confused, asking why you never told her, asking why you never called, and you felt so embarrassed, so guilty for disappearing for so long.
“I’m sorry” was the only thing you could say, and even though she waved it off and said that you didn’t have to apologize for anything, you knew that wasn’t real. You had a bunch of this to apologize for, you didn’t even know where to begin.
After a shower, she offered her room for you to take a nap, and as you got into her bed, she sat next to you, hugging you for the first time in months.
You breathed out against her chest, feeling like a kid again around her arms. It was like she was trying to extract the sadness out of your body, and maybe it worked for now.
“You’re still invited to join us for dinner tonight, you know?” She murmured “I know you’re sad but it’s just us, maybe it’ll cheer you up.”
You nodded, “I’ll think about it, is that okay?”
“Of course, darling.” She smiled, kissing your forehead before getting up to leave.
Before she opened the door, you stopped her.
“Wait mom, who’s coming?” You asked before she disappeared from your sight.
She turned to you again, smiling. “Your brother, of course.” She said “He’s bringing Yoongi and his mom, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you.”
You snapped your eyes open, but before your mom could see your reaction she disappeared through the door, leaving you alone and with your heart clenched in your fist.
@kingofbodyrolls @tea4sykes @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @oukya @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @loviyunki @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @hopefulchick @heroinanne
#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi fanfic#yoongi fanfiction#yoongi one shot#yoongi masterlist#bts masterlist#bts smut#bts x oc#bts x you#bts x reader#bts au fanfic#bts au#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi fanfic
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Tell us more about your little homestucks?
ok.. ill only go over my descendent ocs because they're the ones ive been posting about recently, i have too many homestuck ocs to cover lol..
mayosi pyrope is the first descendent oc i made back when there was a brief trend on twitter to make, fan descendants of the trolls. i think i was inspired by ko's descendent acarid, and terezi being one of my favorite trolls i ended up making a bootleg pyrope. (and i draw them together all the time bc they rot my brain)
they're a radical transmasc weeaboo skater "vigilante" who grew up being raised by humans in a very normal average household where they got basically anything they wanted with no issues. their interests include; dishing out justice, watching animes, playing videogames, and doing sick tricks on their board. they wield a katana that resembles terezi's dragon cane.. they're my simplest designed character, and though they look a lot like terezi with a skirt and long hair their design was heavily influenced by dirk because i imagined that dirk has influenced some kind of anime character that mayosi obsesses over and has based their look on..
they aren't at all interested in, being a lawyer or anything like that and would like to take care of bad guys samurai batman style in their ideal world.. unfortunately the loving gently parenting of their human family didn't toughen them up enough so they're mostly a baby who doesn't do well when faced with conflict. mayosi's easily bossed around by anyone who firmly tells them to do something because they're too scared to step up and stand up for themself and others, they have a lot of shame for not being as strong and cool as terezi or red glare. real wet blanket.
uuuh like terezi, they weren't always blind. they were lured in by their ex best friend now super complex hate not boyfriend acarid and he poured acid into their eyes, ruining their vision and giving them crazy chem burn scars.. i think around this time they were also given their super rad pointy shades so they can look more like their hero, but it was a major blow to their confidence since not only are they a weak coward they're now a weak coward who can't see. they eventually learn to navigate the world via sound waves, its not as effective as terezi's sniff and taste vision but mayosi isnt as interested as smelling and licking everything in their presence.
example of what i think it's like for them here..
theyyy are convinced by acarid to join him in his perfect sburb sesh, where they eventually grow a pair and cut off his arm and gouge his eyes before being shot in the brain and killed dead without ever waking on their moon. (sad) mayosi's feelings about acarid, who essentially abuses and manipulates them constantly, are very complicated because they feel an obligation to take on the brunt of his crazy in order to protect everyone but also because they cling to the nostalgic memories they have of him and are hoping he'll one day go back to that.
kokesi megido is based on kokeshi dolls, i think she sees ghosts and is really scared of them so she's super skittish and is always finding ways to shoo them away.. she probably knows how to speak japanese ig, i dont have a lot to say about her unfortunately.. i like how her design turned out though.
grimir maryam and romato vantas are brothers adopted into a rich human family, they're both spoiled brats and are constantly bickering with each other when they aren't pretending the other exists. grimir is mute and likes to garden (sooo original, i know) and romato speaks a lot and is a hopeless romantic writer. shrug.
i don't have as much to talk about. for any of my descendents other than mayosi because i have a really hard time developing ocs when i dont have people to bounce ideas off of. i mean most of mayosi was formed around acarid's existence and from ko's influence, otherwise they also wouldn't be developed . sorry .
#oc#ask#homestuck#fantroll#im not very good at working on ocs#i mostly just design them and pput them on a shelf
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✯ 𝑶𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑻
call it what you want | a. leclerc
arthur leclerc x fem! american actress! oc!
faceclaim: lola tung
a/n: hi :) english is not my first language, it's actually spanish, so there are most likely spelling errors. also, this was completly rewritten, i had already posted another 2 parts of basically the same story but i never wrote the part 3. so i rewrite it and i really hope you like it.
warnings: spelling mistakes, intentional lowercase
a while ago, adeline summers was the darling of the silver screen, adored and admired by fans all across the globe. however, her blissful stardom crashed down like a castle of cards when she ended things with her popular boyfriend, who was also an actor. she was soon the subject of crude internet drama and hated by all faces of social media. driven to despair by the constant hate and backlash, she decided to take a break from the spotlight. she slipped away unnoticed one night, leaving behind the world of glam and paparazzi, to find peace and solace in the unseen corners of the world.
adeline found herself in monaco, a warm haven tucked away from the hustle-bustle. she spent her days strolling along the coastline, reading books, avoiding any forms of media, and getting lost in the magnificence of the endless azure. she was healing, slowly perhaps, but surely.
one afternoon, while she was quietly sitting on a park bench, a guy approached her. dressed in casual attire, there was a serenity about him that immediately caught adeline's attention. the guy, who introduced himself as arthur, was also escaping the prying eyes of society. arthur was a formula 2 driver, whose love-life had become a free-for-all, as his relationship with his current ex-girlfriend had ended on bad terms. burnt out by the media's relentless scrutiny and rumor-mongering, he found solace in solitude, just like adeline. it was refreshing for both of them to find someone who understood their plight.
after a few friendly encounters in monaco, arthur suggested that they take a spontaneous trip to lake como in italy. hesitant at first, adeline finally agreed, seeing it as an opportunity to further escape the social storm back home. as they spent time on the serene shores of lake como, away from the world's view, mutual comfort turned into attraction and eventually into a deep affection. they found solace in each other's arms, their simultaneous heartbreaks healing in sync. days that started with watching sunrises over the lake and ended with the sharing of deepest secrets under the moonlight were etched in their hearts.
together, they indulged in italy, taking boat rides, picnicking amidst the lush grapevines, and sipping wine as the sun kissed the horizon. it seemed both were meant to meet, meant to heal, meant to fall in love, at a time when they despised the world the most but needed companionship the most. months passed, and the internet could only speculate about adeline's whereabouts. little did they know she was no longer the same woman. she was in love, completely head over heels, in love with a guy who knew her for who she was, not the superstar she was painted to be.
adeline and arthur decided to try the public life once again, but this time united. with a bizarre twist of fate, the same public, who once hated them, welcomed them back warmly. the internet which had once been a cause of their isolation, now flooded with wishes and love, celebrating the very bond they despised before.
after all, adeline had found love in the most unexpected place, with the most unexpected guy, but at the perfect time. it was her disappearance that led her to find true love and acceptance. it wasn't an easy ride, but it was worth it. the american actress, who was once hated, made a spectacular comeback, not alone, but with the love of her life by her side.
#arthur leclerc#lola tung#arthur leclerc x fem oc#arthur leclerc fluff#arthur leclerc fanfic#oneshot#formula 1#fem oc#f1 x reader#fem reader#formula 3#formula 2#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x oc#f2 fic#social media au#f1 instagram au#instagram au#leclerc brothers#taylor swift lyrics#taylor swift
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famous au but um dumb
@cowboylexapro
if the poets were on social media and famous this is what they'd be known for
(age somewhere between 19-21)
todd
tumblr blog name: toad.anderson
ao3 name: toad.writes
he's technically anon but not rlly
sexiest tumblr account known to man - he's a fanfic writer and an au poster with some occasional og stuff that floods his inbox with asks begging him to publish his og work too - what fandom does he write for? all of them.
his bf proof reads them all even if he's never been in the fandom
he writes fics for his friends when they get famous
in between his novel worthy fanfics are shitty fics of his friends
his followers get rlly confused
he wrote a neil x reader fic until straight girls started claiming it and he took it down becuz the reader was him
todd on his blog: guyss… im so sorry but im taking the neil x reader fic down… im sorry if i offend anyone but the reader was me ❤️ not you - i don't like you all claiming it
after taking down the x reader, he does a neil x oc but the oc is him but with green eyes
neil, after the oc gets described: todd the only person im seeing is u tho 😦 and u have blue eyes
eventually his relationship with famous tiktoker neil perry gets revealed and ppl realize he's not just an obsessed fan
after neil says the thing blog: toad.anderson: guys my real name is todd anderson everyone: omg we wouldve never guessed
after neil and him go public and ppl dont believe that neil is gay he alternates between seething and writing neil fics and taking joy from neil's confusion
todd points out comments that are obviously thirsting over neil and neil still doesn't realize he's being thirsted over
"neil be the father of my children!" "oh i think they meant that in a godfather type way"
todd, at a breaking point, suggests that neil and him post a kissing video but neil doesnt wanna be one of those shawn camilla couples - respect
what if he posted them kissing but he made a historians will call them bestfriends joke but then ppl did🧍♂️
"my bestie and I 🤩 " "NEIL PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK UR SERIOUS"
//
neil
tiktok name: neilliard.at.julliard
accidentally tiktok famous for pretty face, charming personality, acting abilities - the theater kids had a claim over him orignially but he's pretty mainstream now
comment section full of old grandmas trying to set him up with their granddaughters
everyones dream bf until he posted about his own bf
neil: my boyfie has a big tumblr and he writes a lot and he really likes frogs and he is also blond and heres his address
hes kinda oblivious about everything
"you want a close up of my collar bones? why ?"
reading comment "'show your abs?' its nice you think i have abs! only my boyfriend can see those tho 😉 "
the comments go wild
people are stitching it screaming for different reasons
all his fans r screaming into pillows bc HES TAKEN NOOO
people are trying to figure out who this mans boyfie is
"he has a boyfriend??" "he's been straightbaiting us!" "NOO HE'S TAKEN" "IS UR BF AS HOT AS U" "look at the way his eyes lit up when he said bf i love love" "this video shows an aspect of society that-"
"tell us about ur bf" and he makes a week worth of videos but its all random stuff
"my bf looks pretty in blue" "my bf likes to put salt and pepper on his fries" "my bf has hair"
the straightbaiting comments come after him posting about pride and having a pride flag in the background of his videos <- they say things like "he's such a good ally"
people attack others in the comments who ask him if hes queer "NO NEIL ISNT GAY NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY HE COULD JUST BE A REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FRUITY STRAIGHT GUY WHO LIKES GIRLS"
"are you gay neil???" -> "not everything has to be gay ppl can just be allys and btw by assuming every ally is gay, ur actually hurting the movement!!!" -> "i asked becuz he said he wanted to kiss his boy best friend on the lips in highschool" -> "he meant it heterosexual-ly"
someone asks him what his type is and he describes todd to the t and they think he likes a short haired blonde
"he likes girls in sweat pants not skirts" "his type isnt ppl in skirts" -- neil would love todd in a skirt but thats not the point
his type: "he's really shy, gorgeous, short dirty blonde hair, uhhhh, really smart, and So much more :))"
he could say my boyfriend is a man who i am dating because i am gay and they would still try to straight-ify him
a grainy video gets leaked of a short haired blond guy jumping into his arms and ppl say things like "its just a girl with short hair"
todd hate writes a neil x male reader fic
he asks his friends for help and they post todd's face everywhere on his recording set
he makes a video like "meet my toddy"
in the video todd says he's a boy and he's todd and he's neil boyfriend 3485757 times and neil is like "omg babe i love u too <33" becuz he doesnt Understand
some ppl r still in denial or think he's bi w/ a preference for girls
straight girls like him becuz he has a pretty face and a general respect for women
during prom season, he gets dmed a lot of websites for buying prom tickets
"don't worry guys! i know i said my high school time was rough, but i actually did go to prom with my bf!!"
//
charlie
twitter name: therealalpha
most popular podcast name: daltons intercourse
joke/bait account ppl took seriously
The Alpha that other alpha posters bow to
says stuff like "SIGMA MALES KISS ALPHAS ON THE MOUTH TO ASSURT DOMINANCE"
the twitter alphas buy into him so bad he's making podcasts and doign interviews and he has no clue how tf he got here but he's riding the high
he advocates for being alpha via kissing ur homies
when he gets famous he begs todd to write a fic about him
todd agrees pretty easily tbh
"ARE YOU EVEN AN ALPHA MALE IF PPL AREN'T WRITING GAY FICS ABOUT YOU"
charlie posts things like "no homo" "only the real make out with their homies" over those black and white pics of muscle-y dudes w/ no context after the neil video he posts "he homo" over one of them w/ no context
at first ppl try to attack him but then theyre like wtf is going on here and realize he's trolling the alpha community
when no one realizes neil is actually gay he makes a podcast episode talking about how he thinks neil is gay gay homosexual gay - he's holding a cigar and wearing a tight hawaiian unbuttoned shirt like "lets talk about this gay gay theater gay boykisser man"
made by @cowboylexapro
//
pitts
youtube name: gerdoesstuff
joint youtube name: idkman
homework help and crafts videos youtuber - relaxed vibes only here to be calm
he gives study and concentration tips and encourages ppl to seek help and companionship and not suffer alone
he paints mugs and looks for bugs
he was on charlie's podcast and they discussed the alpha-ness of making pottery
todd wrote a pitts x reader fic becuz ppl begged him to
pitts printed it out and framed it and put it in his filming set up
he's a regular on meeks podcast too btw and meeks is a regular on his
but when meeks is around things explode so
he has a second channel with meeks where they do silly experiments
theyre posting schedule is non-existent and they also do streams but they never tell you so their viewers just have to hope and find out
knox and him are planning on making a movie review channel but its still not fully thought out so
he makes couple mugs for todd and neil when neil asks for help
he wakes up at 2 am and sends todd prompts
anytime he learns a fun fact he sends it to todd on the off chance todd may need it for a story at some point in his life
anytime he reads anything he's like damn neil will love to act like this character and lets him know about it
he sends charlie alpha podcasters to make fun of
at some point he exposes cam's shitty handwriting for the giggles
knox
instagram name: knoxious.ur.mom.ious
he posted a short on his instagram talking about how he just learned hair grows from the head and not the bottom and blew up for being a dummy - he doesn't know whats going on but he's having a blast
he stirs up drama but on accident
he was on pitts youtube before
out of everyone here he's the only one not making content he's just vibing
eventually he ends up posting background footage of everyone doing dumb shit
when it comes out theyre friends ppl stalk his instagram to find more proof
after that he starts to stir drama but more consciously
hmm what else - idk he's just chilling, getting called out for being dumb and watching his friends do dumb stuff
oh wait when he makes that short about the hair a bunch of commentary channels post about it and he takes it like a badge of honor
cameron
instagram name: cam.studies
pinterest name: cam.studies
one of those aesthetic studying accounts on insta and pinterest - takes nice shots of his homework and his pen collections and his study desk
except its only for the pics his handwriting is atrocious - he has like one page or paragraph of pretty handwriting to post and the rest is scribbled chaos - his pens are never organized by color, theyre just thrown in a box, and his desk is filled with papers and books and never looks clean but its fine he's just here for clout
he ends up sponsoring and reviewing businesses that make those cute study supplies so now he has a hoard - or at least he did until his friends started taking them
he groaned about the cam.studies x {random ass ppl} fics todd wrote but he thinks theyre funny and has them bookmarked
he went on charlie's podcast and the two argued for half of it and then explained how as two alphas they would settle their differences by kissing
his friends help him angle his aesthetic shots at cafes and shit
he got exposed eventually as a fake becuz ppl (cough) posted his real notes which were messy and disorganized
but he played it off as a commentary about how the internet is fake and got more sponsorships
he judges todd and neil but is eating popcorn at the front seat of the drama
meeks
podcast name: chameleon hotel
youtube channel name: idkman
meeks makes a podcast for very stupid intricate crimes. he has a cult following of bisexuals
its stuff like drama over a tree being taken down
"the locals even called their beloved tree 'ole alvin'"
charlie: todd write a meeks x ole alvin fic
he has standards, so he does
he went on charlie's podcast and convinced ppl that being with other men allowed u to suck in their alpha-ness and become the ultimate alpha
but generally he just makes his little silly videos and makes cryptic posts about the neil todd drama
has a joint channel w/ pitts
is up to date with the neil thing and is the one to send neil updates
he tries to convince neil to act out his podcasts (with a lot of success lmao)
he tries to convince todd to write fics based on his podcasts (also with a lot of success)
as payback for the ole alvin x meeks fic he convinces todd (very easily) to write a bunch of dumb charlie fics and todd agrees becuz he has standards
no one actually knows that the poets know each other
they eventually post a group photo
"we need to cancel neil perry for being friends with an alpha podcast guy" "nah thats just charlie"
"yall know hes bi, right?"
"he literally has a podcast about how sucking dick as a man makes u the ultimate alpha male"
it does explain why charlie's alpha podcast go from tiktok actor, tumblr fanfic writer, instagram study blog, fellow podcaster, hw help tiktoker in between his satire of normal alpha tiktokers
half of these things are like copy and pasted from our conversation btw so dont blame me for them
#todd anderson#neil perry#anderperry#dead poets society#deadpoets#dead poets headcanons#neil and todd#todd and neil#dps fandom#dps#charlie dalton#dps fanfiction#dps fic#dps headcanons#dps memes#dps incorrect quotes#meeks#steven meeks#stephen meeks#dead poets#gerard pitts#meeks and pitts#pitts dps#cameron richard#richard cameron#knox overstreet#anderperry social media
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gold is dull. || jjk || masterlist.
your once-love abandoned you to chase his dreams as a boxer, leaving you and unknowingly, at the time, his son. as much as you want to forget him, you can't. you see him on the billboard, tv commercials, and in your son's room, reminding you of everything you once were.
“momma! please take me to golden boy's fight! he’s fighting here! in our hometown. please, momma. for my birthday? i wanna see him in person!”
pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader
genre: boxer!jk, dilf!jk, single mom! oc, heavy angst, ex-boyfriend, eventual smut, fluff
warnings: financial struggles, mentions of off-screen death, angst, blood, fighting, mentions of pregnancy, *will be updated with every chapter *each chapter will have a warning tab
posting schedule: new chapter every tuesday!! (unless otherwise noted)
დmoodboards(teasers)
✩ playlist
❦ outfits
if you want to be added to taglist, please ask on this post დ
➺ chapter 1
"jungkook, the person you once believed was the love of your life, has turned into the stranger of your life."
♫: Come on Doom, Let's Party
➺ chapter 2
"it’s not a warm feeling, though. It’s something in between. it still feels strange. It’s the middle ground between cold and warm."
♫: Heal
➺ chapter 3
“you and me are never going to be okay. but…even if we aren’t, for him we are.”
♫: High Hopes
➺ chapter 4
"it’s slowly pulling him and he seeks a distraction to let himself enjoy everything before it completely consumes him."
♫: Falling
➺ chapter 5
“very happy that you are able to live with all this,” you spin around, imitating him, “with no remorse. no guilt. no conscience of leaving everyone behind. of leaving me behind. but who gives a shit, right?”
♫: lie
➺ chapter 6
"the look holds a certain longing to do more than just stare at each other. you feel the door that was opening up slowly, be slammed to its complete openness. the gaze has left you right at the entrance of his warm home."
♫: never let me go
#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#jungkook#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#fanfiction#masterlist#boxer jk#dilf jk#dilf!jk#bts series#bts fanfic#kim seokjin#dad jungkook#dilf jungkook#smut#bts smut#single mom oc#gold is dull#first series i write#angst#bts angst#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#bts fluff#jungkook smut
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ROTTMNT Love Interests Headcanon
If the Rise boys were ever given love interest, here’s who I headcanon they should’ve been and what their dynamic would be like:
Note: Raph and Mikey's love interest are my OCs/HCs of a Rise version of existing characters.
Leo’s love interest would be Yuichi
Leo met Yuichi through Hueso, who Yuichi works for as a new waiter for his restaurant in the Yokai city
Suddenly Leo constantly wants to go to Hueso's restaurant for lunch/dinner and his brother quickly figure out it's only because he wants to gawk at the cute new waiter.
Leo is overly flirty but Yuichi doesn’t notice him, not that he’s uninterested, it’s just he has lots of admirers, so sadly Leo in the beginning blends into the crowd.
It’s not until Leo takes a more forward approach by hitting on him with a cheesy pick up line, then proceeds to trip over himself and be humiliated by everyone, except Yuichi. He found the act endearing and Leo has now caught his eye.
Yuichi finds Leo annoying at first, but also charming/endearing thought he hates to admit it
*flirts* *flirts back* “I was not expecting this outcome, tf I do now??”
Leo tells a dumb joke and Yuichi thinks he’s a comedic genius.
They spar together, exchanging sword fighting tips/techniques
Hueso is their third wheel
Raph’s love interest would be Mona Lisa
My HC on how they first met (I guess you could say she really FELL for him ;D )
Mona is obviously in love with him but Raph is painfully oblivious. Everyone knows she likes him except Raph.
“She’s just a really good friend!” *said "friend" is wearing a shirt that says "I <3 Raphael"*
Raph would be very obvious to Mona's flirtatious actions towards him and not realize he's being hit on. Everyone knows Mona likes him, except Raph himself.
It took Raph a whole year to realize he liked Mona too. His bros can't comprehend his obviously stupidity when he asked his bros if he should ask Mona out and says he's worried she doesn't like him back (Raph end up freaking out and nearly faints when his bros tell him Mona has liked him the entire time)
She fell first, but he fell harder
For a while, Raph is conflicted with asking her out for a few reasons:
1) “What if she lost interest in me and I’m too late?!”
2) He feels he’s too busy as the oldest to have a relationship but his brothers encourage him to ask her out because him having a GF does not mean he’s being selfish for doing something for himself that makes him happy.
3) Mona’s got an overprotective father who hates the idea of his daughter dating. He liked Raph better when he was just her friend, but when Raph started having feelings for Mona he became a threat.
Eventually Raph does asks Mona out and she says yes! They become boyfriend and girlfriend shortly after their first date.
Everyone feels a wave of relief and satisfaction when these two FINALLY get together! "IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!" But everyone soon realized that they are annoying as a lovey dovey couple, "Stop shoving your happiness in our faces!!"
Donnie’s love interest would be Kendra
Partners in crime, on again off again romance
Fake dating trope in the beginning with them both having plans to steal each others tech, “I’ll woo him/her and when they’re off his/her guard, I’ll robbed them!”
They actually start to fall in love with each other, but then the truth comes out and they “break up”
Now constantly bicker anytime they see each other, blaming the other for the betrayal and “break up”
Check out my post on how I HC they first started “dating”
*Cue “True Love” by P!nk*
Argues then proceeds to make out then argue again
They are the first couple to get together, but them being really officially together is a secret. They secretly date after their first "break up" and everyone doesn't find out about them until much later on, to which Donnie just mentions he's actually dating Kendra so nonchalantly while everyone just looks on at him with shock. This is after Leo x Yuichi and Raph x Mona became couples.
Mikey’s love interest would be Renet
Renet is a human orphan who grew up in the Yokai City and is practicing to become a witch, specifically a time witch!
They met when Mikey was in the Yokai city and came across Renet when she was practicing her magic spells (aka she fell on top of him when practicing a teleportation spell)
Everyone struggles to figure out if they are dating or just REALLY close.
Best friends, goofy dummies who eventually fall in love with one another slowly over time
Innocent young love. A playground crush.
Mikey hangs out with her a lot because he likes her. He doesn’t realize he likes her and no one tries to tell him cause they thought he knew he liked her
Act like a couple loooooong before they even become a couple.
“Are you two dating or just friends?” “Yes”
That tweet of that girl asking her bf if they are dating (they are living together and have a kid) cause they never confirmed they are boyfriend and girlfriend, so when she asked the bf he responds by fist pumping his chest, giving her a peace sign and saying "we're just Bros"
#FabTrash oc#fabtrash headcanons#tmnt headcanons#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt oc#TMNT oc#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt leonardo#rottmnt leo#tmnt raphael#rottmnt raph#tmnt donatello#rottmnt donnie#tmnt michelangelo#rottmnt mikey#tmnt mona lisa#rottmnt mona lisa#yuichi usagi#renet tilley#rottmnt renet#tmnt kendra#rottmnt kendra#tmnt ramona#raph x mona lisa#leoichi#leosagi#oc: rise mona lisa#oc: rise Renet
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CAN WE PLEASE HAVE MORE OF DAVEY’S TERRIBLY UGLY CAT I LOVE HERRRRRRRRR
(i'm so glad there's hype for a pet oc i made on a whim. i don't know why this cat is so special to me but she is.)
i honestly wish i had more of her - the most i have for 'davey and his terrible cat au' is a bunch of snippets, most of which i've already posted, and a very vague outline of plot.
the idea is that davey volunteers at a pet shelter between work and school and it's his whole life. he used to volunteer at his hometown shelter in high school, and he got really mad about how some of the volunteers treated the animals who needed more support. no one wanted to go near gollum. and it wasn't just 'cause she's a hairless breed, plenty of people like hairless breeds, to the point where it's kind of a problem. it's because she needed so much work. she was angry, she'd spit, she'd bite, she'd hiss, she wouldn't go near anyone and if anyone came near her it didn't go well. but we know davey has a soft spot for strays. we know he won't give up on things even when he really, really should. so he didn't give up on her - he'd sit in her kennel and read his books, just sitting with her in silence until she got up the courage to come near him. he'd talk to her. he'd wait until she touched him to pet her - and even then he'd stop if she seemed frightened. because that's all she was, FRIGHTENED. she wasn't a bad cat, she was just scared. and eventually, he adopted her.
where the plot ACTUALLY begins is the shelter davey currently volunteers for is running an event they annually run during exam season where people can come in and interact with the more sociable animals. it helps the animals socialize, it helps students destress, it helps bring people in a position to adopt into the shelter and it encourages people in a position to volunteer to do so, so it's a win-win all around. the problem is that jack starts volunteering afterwards, and davey really doesn't think he's cut out for it. volunteering isn't just having a bunch of pets with none of the responsibility, it's hard work that can sometimes be really heartbreaking, and he's just not sure jack's gonna last.
they become friends, davey's hesitations aside, and obviously jack is a little enamoured with him - so when davey mentions an ex-boyfriend off the cuff, jack tries to gage some interest. "ex-boyfriend, huh? wonder what that sucker did to mess that up." to which davey responds lightheartedly "oh, well my cat hated him, so he had to go." obviously davey's mostly joking - yes, gollum is distrustful of everyone but davey, but that ex was also just. not a good guy in general. but jack doesn't know that, so cue jack going out of his way to get the gollum seal of approval so he can date this man.
and a snippet for your convenience:
“Oh, Davey...” Jack tries to hide his cringe. “You put your cat in a sweater?”
Davey flushes beautifully.
“They’re medical!” He insists, hugging Gollum defensively to his chest. “You try going through winter with single-glazed windows and no fur!”
Jack raises a pointed eyebrow.
“So is there a medical reason it's a Star Fleet uniform, or...?”
Davey tries his best to hide his spreading blush behind Gollum’s skinny body.
“The Etsy store was having a sale...”
#that snippet is not my best she's currently in the 'i got two lines of dialogue in my head and had to see where they went' stage#we'll fine-tune her eventually.#newsies#uksies#davey's terrible cat au#david jacobs#davey jacobs#jack kelly#javid#javey#pigeon scribbles#fic thoughts
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Do you have any Ocs you’d like to talk about??
oh boy do i
im gonna introduce my scrungly my poor little meow meow my pathetic loser the love of my life. Arvid Sheldon Moreno <3
ill add trigger tags too of course but just in case: warning for abuse, violence, death, and kidnapping
first of all i am a Terrible artist but here's a commission i got of him from the lovely jester @/ghostcasket (with commissions still open here is the info post. go commission them he's wonderful)
anyways. ARVID. basically he's a second generation oc from the project me and the other mod have. he is like. 3/4 alien?? something like that. but he was born on earth and that's where he grew up.
his parents are lovely and perhaps very strange but they are so good to their kids. Arvid is a mama's boy in particular he is very close to her and very protective of her.
so. what's wrong with him then???? surely he has Every Problem Ever. well he does. when he was a kid he didn't really have any friends. he was outcasted and bullied from various sources but none more so than Alex. fuck Alex we hate that guy.
Alex caused problems for Arvid basically his whole life. he was harassed and followed and beaten and manipulated and. well a lot of things!!
Arvid met and became friends with Izan who was infinitely better for Arvid and nicer and they were just really close. however that didn't stop Alex from being an asshole ya know. and it got even worse when Izan broke off from Arvid due to trying to manage his own trauma of a recent event unrelated to Arvid's stuff
so what did Arvid do? he clung to Alex and they became "friends". during this time Alex really drilled into Arvid's head the idea that he shouldn't cry, that he was weak, that no one else could tolerate him, and Arvid believed it all. things escalated until Alex and one of his other friends attacked and stabbed Arvid during a time when Izan and Arvid were trying to patch things up. and they left him there.
Izan got him help, but Arvid refused to let Alex get into trouble. in fact he had a strong fondness and loyalty to him and so what did he do? he confessed that he was in love with Alex. and Alex, ever amused and delighted by the power and control he had over Arvid, accepted his confession and they started dating.
and they didn't break up for a really really long time!
however this is all the backstory info! (well not all of his backstory but Some of it) this isn't even taking into account the story events! the story events being Arvid and his entire family gets kidnapped and taken to an alien planet because these fucked up brothers were trying to get and erase information on the esp experiments that happened during the first generation (meaning the things Arvid's parents went through) and. well long story short Dawson (does anyone remember when i talked about him?) was forced by his older brothers to kill Arvid and his mom. fucked up!!
but it's okay, isn't it? yeah Arvid comes back to life thanks to a wish made by Dawson on this super powerful wish granting magical rock. and they all live happily ever after on earth!
but not really.
when Arvid gets back he discovers that in addition to being brought back to life, he's now immortal. which is the LAST thing he wants because he didn't even want to be brought back to life if he was being honest. and Alex being the wonderful person he is decides to use this to his advantage (basically isn't it fun to kill your boyfriend over and over while he remains blindly loyal to you? Alex seems to think so)
however Arvid has other relationship drama going on. he has feelings for soo many other people but didn't feel worthy enough to be in a relationship with any of them. why would anyone ever like him back ya know?
except a lot of them did like him back. a lot actually. and Arvid starts dating others and building this lovely little polycule of people who really and genuinely love and care about him. and it takes a long time, but eventually Arvid breaks things off with Alex and tries to be happy. key word being that he tries because sometimes he doesn't do a very good job of it. he's still got it in his head that he deserves to suffer and will go on self destructive spirals now that he doesn't have a boyfriend beating him to shit constantly anymore.
some fun facts about Arvid is that he's a supervillain. i mean not Really a supervillain but he's a loser and tells everyone that he's evil. type of guy to steal from large corporations but not from local places. but this is all evil deeds he swears it. he also has plans to take over the world which he only shares with people he really trusts. he's so lame <3
he's also extremely emotional and will cry really easily but. well due to Alex Reasons he will belittle himself for showing sadness. he is obsessed with people seeing him as strong when his 5'3 ass can't even open a pickle jar
Arvid is also very very soft and sensitive about bugs he loves bugs!!! they were his best friends back when he didn't have any friends and even now he still treats them so gently. it's a really cool contrast to his usual edgy personality.
also!! he has really bad luck all the time <3 constantly tripping over stuff and falling in puddles and breaking his phone and. other bad luck stuff.
anyways i hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings about my scrungy little guy
#fishe speaks#fishe ocs#love it when you guys ask about my ocs i have so many and so much to say about them all :3#abuse#tw abuse#violence#tw violence#death#tw death#kidnapping#tw kidnapping#tw knife#side note this is just a basic overview of arvid he has So Much more infos
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Baldur’s Gate 3
Warning: none
Pairings: Ombra x Astarion
Characters: Ombra (my oc), Astarion, Gale
Summary: Ombra, a metal bender, is merely tolerating her new companions because she has other plans in her mind. One of these people disgust her to the core, but her depressed soul eventually find him “lovely”. Her busy, calculated mind can finally rest for one night. But does this vampire deserve her love truly?
Author’s note: Yay my first fic for BG3! I may post more drabbles like this untill I start posting the whole story of Ombra! I really love how these two work out together. Extroverted, charming boyfriend x introverted, also charming girlfriend.
Taglist: @vivilovespink @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @confidentandgood @spacestephh @cyberneticsanguinaire @inafieldofdaisies @carlosoliveiraa @shegetsburned @bloody-arty-myths @zoetheneko @hi-thisiszira @admin-pipes @mitsuko-saito @malewifefirestar @krysta-cross @huepazu @cassietrn @breakfwest @nightbloodbix @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @ninibear3000 @cyb3r-v4l @sinclxirx @gavincruikshanksexhusband @voidika @orbitinytheworld (writing taglist is here to be added/removed)
Out there around the camp, the fire was burning in my death; the death of my soul actually. The thick fabric of my tent was strong enough to shelter me for a while until I get rid of my stupid “companions”. Astarion, however, was the most stupid of them all.
I pushed away the fabric slightly to peeked at his tent which was a few meters away from mine. The gentle light of a lantern dimly lit his private place. He was awake; probably reading or taking notes. His voice rang in my ear.
“Even your spirit is of iron. I like that.”
I would be in a much more peaceful state of mind if he would shut his mouth for five minutes. But the more I explored in my heart, the more I realized that I would miss hearing his voice, his rich British accent, and the way his crimson eyes flamed with naughtiness.
I am always direct with my emotions. I either love someone to death, or I don’t even flinch if they are tortured in front of me. But my mind was beginning to be confused about him. At first, I loathed him just like how I felt about everybody else around me. He was no different. He was just a regular talkative, narcissistic, immature person who believed each and every one of his opinions were valuable.
But now, I couldn’t forget about the way his pale eyebrows rested, and his smile became true when he witnessed my monotone tone become a bit harsher when I was lol easily annoyed by others. When I pushed them away, and gave structres for our next move with a permanent glare on my face. And when I don’t seem to be bothered by the death of our companions.
If my calculations weren’t bteraying me, I would say that Astarion understood me, deeply. His guesses were seemingly right about the real person I was beneath these twenty layers of defense. This real person was as harsh as my outer facade, just even weirder.
I heard him stepping out of his tent, and I immediately closed the fabric door.
My heart raced in my chest.
I listened closely. His footsteps were approaching untill they stopped near the fire place.
“If it wasn’t for her analysis skills, I would not hesitate to throw her out of our way.” Gale whispered.
My lips curved donwards into a smirk.
“We owe her all this information we have gained untill now. Also, her presense is quite an entertainment for me.”
“Your opinion about her seems to be altering, Astarion.”
I didn’t hear him expressing anything as a response, istead he walked towards my tent. Quickly but silently, I crawled to my sheets, pretending to be asleep. A few moments passed after what seemed to be hours, untill I felt him sitting beside me. He didn’t say a single word, but his gaze weighed heavy on my figure.
“Are you asleep?” He murmured softly.
“…no… .” I replied with my eyes closed.
“So, may I?”
I opened my eyes to make sure he was not about to kiss me. Astarion gestured to my side.
“You may.” I crossed my arms, watching him getting comfortable next to me. He lied down on his side, and rested his head on his palm to hold it up.
“I couldn’t sleep either.” Slowly, he reached out his hand towards my face, and once he was not rejected, he shoved a wavy strand behind my ear. I wanted to grab his hand and keep it there, telling him how much I enjoyed this little act of affection. But instead I hid behind my stone face and kept glaring at him.
“Why?” I asked.
“Well, I was thinking about some certain things.” His voice trailed off as his eyes roamed down my body.
I kept looking at him, silently seeking explanation.
“Can I ask you something?” His grin faded away “Would you please don’t abandon us?” The blue cloud of sadness shadowed over his usually sunny gaze.
I raised my eyebrows in concern. “Who said I’m going to leave?”
“I am well aware that you are only tolerating this…” He searched for the right word. “…this companionship. I see that you are constantly looking forward to the tiniest chance to separate your way.” He put his hand on my shoulder.
“Stay with me, Atoosa. Please.”
My heart melted once Astarion called me by my real name instead of “Ombra”; a nickname so widely used by people that it had almost replaced the real one. It was just a simple Persian name untill he said it, and it was the most soothing lullaby.
And he just begged me to stay by his side not because he needed my iron bending powers and strategic mind, but because he’d miss me. Myself.
I frowned. “Why do you care?”
His eyes widened in shock. “We-well I am very sorry that I have found beauty in you! In your terrifying manners! In the way you don’t care about anything but your own goals! I am very sorry that I love you!”
My heart forgot to beat for a second. I did not trust my own ears. Astarion knew very well how to get what he wants by mere words. He knew how to fold those words in golden paper and sell it to you.
“Not all of your actions agree with that, Astarion. I’m not here to play your game.”
Suddenly, a large hand grabbed my jaw firmly, and forced me to look at him straight into the eyes. They were burning with anger and desperation.
“How many more days do I have to claw at any chances to save you from danger? How much more do I have to watch you from afar? How many nights do I have to stay wide awake horrified that you might leave us tomorrow? We two resemble more than you think.” Astarion closed his eyes and sighed deeply, loosening his grip around my jaw. “My apologies, darling.” He kissed where his fingers were pressed to although I did not feel any pain.
I leaned in and attached my lips to his. They were soft and cold. My heart beat blasted in my head as he kissed me back. The warmth of his mouth dropped on the dry skin of mine. Perhaps this time it was better to trust my heart, and let it rule over my exhausted brain. He was the angel to sew the bloodied feathers of my broken wings. He was the one on whose shoulders I could lean my head and sigh all my pain out without scaring him away.
I loved him.
“How can I just forget about you and run off?” I whispered.
Astarion chuckled, magnetising even more blood to my cheeks. “Ah, I knew you had a heart somewhere deep in your chest.”
I smiled. Astarion was the ray of sunshine through the thick clouds gaurding my heart.
All of a sudden, life was saturated with colors. I found joy in it.
For the first time in a long while, Astarion reminded me what happiness felt like.
#ombra the ironhead#bg3 ombra#my writing#baldur’s gate 3#baldur’s gate 3 oc#Baldur’s gate 3 tav#bg3#bg3 oc#bg3 tav#astarion#bg3 astarion#baldur’s gate 3 astarion#astarion x oc#astarion x tav#gale#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#bg3 fanfiction#baldur’s gate 3 fanfiction
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Jakob and Balthasar are OCs of mine featured in To Have a Voice, which is set in my original setting of Vibrahnem. It is the first installment of what I hope will be a series that I'm calling Cursebreaker. So here's a bit more about the boys (under the cut).
(Remember these portraits? I actually posted them a few months ago when I first came up with the character concepts for Jakob [left] and Balthasar [right].)
First, the important stuff 😏 Jakob is allergic to most furred animals and suffers from moderate-to-severe hayfever, depending on time of year. Balthasar can be somewhat sensitive to strong scents and spices, which gets worse if he has a cold. Both are somewhat affected by dust, though it's not a strong trigger for either of them... Unless they are already feeling sensitive, in which case all bets are off, especially in Jakob's case (he's generally a sensitive boi).
Jakob is of average height at 5'9" (176cm) and quite slim (one of those "can't gain weight even if he tries" types), while Balthasar is a much more imposing 6'4" (194cm) and built like a goddamn Olympian. However, he does not like attention or standing out, so he tends to slouch and wears loose clothing, often with a head covering. Basically, Jakob is a friendly, nerdy twink and Balthasar is his shredded, gentle giant boyfriend (who can turn not-so-gentle in a split second if need be).
Physically, they're both in their mid-twenties. Jakob is about 26, and Balthasar appears of similar age, but (spoilers for THaV ahead) Balthasar is actually about a thousand years old, and spent most of that time cursed in the form of an immortal cat. He's originally from a nation called Tulyran, which once existed on another continent that lies across the sea, but that civilization fell hundreds of years prior to the events of the story. He has spent his time wandering the world and eventually ended up in Merseheim, where he fatefully crossed paths with a certain Archivist.
Jakob works in the Archives of the Order, a sort of religious organization that follows a goddess of protection called the Great Sister. The Inquisition is a branch of the Order, and the Knights of the Midnight Falcon in the neighboring country of Schorseau (whose members include Quinns and Ollie from Accidental Mistress) are an offshoot as well. Many people who live at the Order's headquarters in Onteburgh (Merseheim's capital) were raised there as orphans, but Jakob joined voluntarily due to his interest in history and for the chance to study in the Order's extensive Archives.
Balthasar is not very forthcoming about his past, but his physique and prowess would suggest a martial career. With his shy and reserved temperament, one can scarcely imagine him in the role of a ruthless brigand or cutthroat mercenary, but he may have once been a stoic military officer, or perhaps his physical skills were honed within the bloody halls of a gladiatorial arena...
Is there anything else you want to know about the cast of Cursebreaker? Or the world of Vibrahnem in general? I'm only too happy to natter at length about my characters and setting 😂
#snzblr#snz ocs#snz#Jakob the Allergic Archivist#Balthasar of the Broken Curse#Cursebreaker#snzfucker
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Your oc lore, please give it to me, I arrived very late and am rather confused but also incredibly intrigued! (Also side not idk how to explain it but your art is very comforting! Says the man who has seen 2 drawings. But my point still stands lol)
This means so much to me 🥹🥹 Im glad ur interested!!! I'll give u some quick summaries (quick as I can be bc once I start talking about my silly little blorbos it's hard for me to stop-)
IF YOU EVER HAVE QUESTIONS PLS ASK IM DYING TO TALK ABOUT MY GUYS
SO! First group of OCs is a project I'm currently calling "Escapism" which takes place in 1890s England. (Check the #buttersketch-escapism tag for content of em)
Okay so I started typing and realized I included WAYYY TOO MUCH info but I worked hard on it so I'll still include it, bUT
TLDR: Aster (tired, anxious, hopeful) is magic (plant magic) and is being used for experiments and tests by Charles(friendly guy, stubborn, cheery) and Beatrice(joyful, caring, passionate) until Beatrice herself becomes and experiment when Charles wants to find out what would happen if you attached wings to a human being. Also aster and Beatrice are girlfriends. Charles accidentally kidnaps Martha (extroverted, curious, peppy) because her magical(healing magic) girlfriend Grace died and Martha has info about her magic. Eventually Aster kills Charles and is haunted by her guilt, which is manifested in a character I call Ghost!Charles (self-explanatory)
Here's uhhh escapism for ya!! Sorry,, you don't have to read it there's a lot of text I know-
Second story which I haven't posted about as much as one I'm calling "Dawn" which takes place in the modern day, and is about demons & angels, heaven & hell & earth type stuff. Simpler than escapism, thank God- (check the #buttersketch-dawn tag for some content of dawn!!!!!)
Here's the cast!! Refs are somewhat outdated but do the job. (Sorry for the last image I don't have a ref for him yet)
I'll keep this short, for real this time!!
In 2019, Chigs accidentally falls off the edge of heaven and misses earth so they fall straight to hell. They didn't have any evil intent so are still an angel, but they need to find a way back to heaven. They stumble into Dawn's office and Dawn reluctantly agrees to help them. Frappe also barges into Dawn's office to hide, as she's on the run from the police. Gene comes around to check on Dawn and finds an outlaw and an angel. Dawn, Chigs, and Frappe run away to earth. Gene recruits Ronnette to help him track down the trio. The trio accidentally gets separated on their way to earth; Frappe and Chigs find each other but Dawn is left to navigate a modern day earth on her own. HIJINKS ENSUE!
time for some lore that's BARELY plot relevant!
Gene and Lucy used to be boyfriends but Gene broke up with Lucy in the 1920s because Lucy was so drowned in his work and wouldn't care about anything else. They get back together eventually tho :3 I make a lot of Lucy & Abigail content even tho he only shows up in like one flashback scene maybe??? Sorry about that.
Anyway THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT MY GUYSSS I tried to keep it short, also bc it is getting late and I have school tomorrow OFBSHHDHFHDHSJ.
my inbox is ALWAYS open for questions of any kind so hmu if you ever have any!! Sorry again for all the info!!
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Lessons in Honesty
steve harrington x reader
chapter 1
– other chapters: part 1 ⋆ part 2 ⋆ part 3 ⋆ part 4 ⋆ part 5 ⋆ part 6 ⋆ part 7 ⋆ part 8
– synopsis: Being Robin Buckley’s younger sibling had always been uneventful, up until she got herself tangled with Steve Harrington. And really, you were happy for her. She deserved friends. What was bothersome was when he got let in on small secrets like your infatuation with Eddie Munson, and decided to take it into his own hands to try and get him to pay attention to you-- by pretending to be your boyfriend.
– notes: it has been a long time since i have written fan fiction but here i am!! my dumbass loves a fake-dating plot and i couldn’t resist. i hope to update this pretty regularly, and i post here and under the same username on ao3. i think i’m going to continue to post this as a reader insert and then do an alternative version that’s with an oc (because i can and reader insert series mess with my brain) BUT here’s to hoping y’all enjoy it!!
read here or on ao3
_____________________________
“Stop staring, dweeb.”
The voice cut through a fraction of your brain fog. Not enough to draw your attention away from your current pin-pointed focus, but certainly enough that some semblance of normal thought would have eventually trickled back in. You know, had it not been for the second later when an arm cut across your vision and someone flicked you on the forehead. Patience was never your sister’s virtue.
Still, it did shock you enough out of the stupid little reverie you had fallen into that had been going on for a good five minutes. It was probably better she busted the daydream before someone else caught you and thought you were someone’s lobotomy patient left without supervision.
“Christ, Robin!” You huffed, slapping away her hand as she gave you an indignant look. It was distraction enough that you managed to flick her right back on the forehead right after. Maturity was never your virtue.
“That was a lot harder than I did it,” she argued back, already trying to thwack you once again.
It quickly became a sitting wrestling match as you tried to capture each other’s arms, biting low insults at one another as it went along. You finally managed to yank Robin’s arm down and back to her side, head twisting fast to see if anyone was watching the scuffle. Thankfully not. There was already so much commotion between the football idiots trying to knock soda cans off one another’s heads by throwing a spiral. They probably weren’t even trying to hit the can anymore with how much harder they laughed when the ball slammed into someone’s face instead. I mean— It was kinda funny.
“I sat beside you, and you didn’t even notice me. Do you think that if you stare long enough, it will intimidate Eddie’s clothes into falling off his body?”
The instinctual hand that slapped over her mouth at that moment might have been loud enough to draw some attention if it wasn’t so perfectly timed with the loud smack that came from the football hitting someone in the face again. Divine intervention at its finest.
“You don’t have to say every thought that pops into your head,” you whispered harshly, eyes still nervously darting around just to double-check no one had heard. Your only solace was that you hadn’t decided to sit at a closer table to Eddie, who was far out of earshot halfway across the quad.
“Tell me about it,” offered a new voice from directly behind you. Shock and surprise rolled through your body as if electrocuted, eyes widening as a familiar figure sat opposite you at the picnic table. “The other day, she was complaining about how annoying it is that your mom tells embarrassing stories about you both to company, but then lets it slip in the same sentence that she wet the bed until she was nine.” Robin must have kicked Steve’s shin under the table because he let out an even more dramatic “Ow!” than you thought him capable of.
“What, did they realize they made a mistake in letting you graduate and rescind your diploma?” You asked him, probably a bit more snippy of a greeting than usual, given that you were still red-faced and deflated from Robin’s mental attack.
Robin gave a short snort at how Steve reared his head back an inch, his floppy hair moving with him like its own appendage. “Ignore them. They’re just mad Eddie Munson doesn’t know they exist.”
You always thought choking on water was something only people on television did when they were shocked. Turns out, It was very much an honest reaction and one you could do simply with your own spit. “I hope you trip over your own feet and the doctors have to wire your jaw shut,” you breathed out, covering your heating face with your hands as you tossed your head back, wishing you were anyway else. And by anywhere, you meant that in the truest sense there was. Let the footballers whisk you away and use your face as target practice instead.
“Munson? You like Eddie’ The Freak’ Munson?” Steve sputtered back. You were thankful that he didn’t just laugh in your face instead, like when Robin found out. You still felt the phantom feeling of her spit flying on your face when she did. Then again, maybe laughter wasn’t the worst reaction. When you removed your hands from your face and saw the genuine look of astonishment and confusion cross his features, brows furrowed, head slightly cocked to the side and studying you as if you were the freak, you began to wonder if you’d prefer the slice of a chuckle and not the hammer of a disappointed and alienating stare. “So you’ll joke about me never graduating— which I did, they can’t just take that back— but find that a desirable trait in Eddie? You do realize he was held back for two years.” As if his own words finally hit his ears, he screwed his face up like he smelled something bad. “Jesus, dude is like twenty years old.”
“I never said it was logical, okay?” you huffed back, folding your arms over your chest, then unfolding them, feeling too restless and itchy at the scrutinization your sister and her idiot friend were putting you through. “I know it’s not going to happen—known that since I was a freshman and joined the Hellfire Club. You can both let it go now.”
You’re a Junior now, and Eddie still treats you the same as if you were a wandering lost puppy he pitied and took in. You kind of were back as a freshman. No friends, not really anyone to talk to other than Robin, wandering around aimlessly in the hallways like the least scary ghost there was, given how many people tried to walk through you. You’d prefer outward avoidance to that. Still, things were different now. Maybe your only friends were members of the Hellfire Club, but at least you’d ranked up from lost puppy to social pariah but with a decent backbone. Eddie, however, clearly didn’t see it that way. His nickname of pipsqueak stuck and has followed you since. Sometimes, he shortens it to Pip, which would be fine if half the student population didn’t think that actually was your name. Some didn’t even believe you when you corrected them.
Robin raised her hands up in surrender, which was bullshit if you’ve ever seen it. “Whatever. Look, I’ve got band practice, so you have to walk home by yourself. Tell Mom to remember to leave the leftovers in the fridge this time, okay? I don’t want to accidentally eat a fly like last time because she left my plate out.” She said that with so much ease as she stood up and walked away, acting as if she hadn’t behaved like someone sprinkled rat poison on her tongue when it happened. It was pretty gross, to be fair. Just thinking about it made you mentally gag and reach for a toothbrush.
“I’ll be fine,” you called out, the same time Steve let out a disgusted mangled noise that sounded halfway between a dog trying to get a stuck piece of kibble out of its throat and a baby trying to say their first words. You stood up from the bench and swung your backpack over one shoulder.
Steve’s voice cut off your movement when you began to walk away. “Hey, let me drive you home. Your sister made me come all the way here to drop off her trumpet she left in my car. I’m already acting like a glorified errand boy today.”
You gave a short, breathy laugh, eyebrow raised. “Just today?” You asked teasingly. That got you an eye roll. “I’m good. Robin just acts like this town is more dangerous than it is. I assure you, a walk by myself will not kill me.” She’s had a tendency to hover lately. And by association, so did Steve, though you just assumed it’s because you were hanging out with Mike, Dustin, Lucas and Max lately, and he had that weird sort of older brother/fifth-wheel type relationship with them. You also assumed it had something to do with Nancy. A lot of what Steve did had to do with Nancy.
“Are all you Buckley’s this painfully stubborn? Just get in the damn car,” he fought back with as much patience as your sister had. Which, as stated earlier, is none at all.
“Steve, it’s fine.“ At this point, you were arguing back merely on some screwed-up principle. You might have gotten farther with it had Steve not stalked next to you and yanked your backpack from your shoulder, already walking off towards the parking lot with conceited expectations that you would fall in line and trail behind him.
You did. He had your bag.
At least you managed to snag one last glance at Eddie as you walked past.
“Has anyone ever told you that your bossy?” You muttered under your breath as you stopped at the familiar burgundy brown BMW that your sister had begun to use as her personal taxi. He tossed your bag into the back once he slipped into the driver’s seat, leaning over the center console to push open the passenger door you waited by.
“Has anyone ever told you that you have bad taste in men?” He supplied back, putting the key in the ignition when you slammed the door shut.
“Don’t start,” you said, staring at him heavily annoyed as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I’m not even as bad as you. Everyone sees the way you pine after Nancy.”
His head snapped so fast to look at you that you quickly smacked his arm to remind him to keep his eyes on the road. “Everyone does not— I don’t *pine* after Nancy, okay? I get it. She’s with Jonathan. We’re friends.”
“Friends who want to—”
“Don’t start.”
Alright. Fair.
Still, it was hard to believe the whole friend’s thing, not only because of the looks Steve gave Nancy, but the ones you saw her give him behind his back. Jonathan wasn’t here. He was in California. And whether or not Nancy just gave Steve lingering looks that were remnants of the past, there were moments you wondered if that was just it. Robin surely didn’t. She was pro-Steve and Nancy all the way. You were shocked she hadn’t already made embarrassing T-shirts about it.
“Don’t let Robin pollute your thoughts,” Steve broke the silence, a more quiet seriousness passing over his concentrated face. “She thinks there’s still something there, but there isn’t. Probably because all these dates I’ve been on lately have all gone to shit. I think Nancy even stares at me with pity about it too.” Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, he ran his other in a frustrated motion over his jaw. “It’s annoying. I wish everyone would get off my back about the whole thing.”
“Well, why not just tell them you’re seeing someone? Not like it has to be anyone in Hawkins. Dustin’s got that long-distance girlfriend of his.” It was easy enough to lie about that sort of thing, right?
Steve gave an unamused snort. “Yeah, like Robin will just let that one slide. She’ll see right through it.”
“Then just ask someone to pretend to be your girlfriend for a while. I’m sure plenty of people are lining up just to have a shot with the late, great Steve Harrington, even if it isn’t real,” you joked, though it was true. You’d never really talked to him before he became friends with Robin, but you remembered him from the hallways last year. Heard his name bounce around girl’s lips too often to ignore it.
“Thanks for that,” he muttered in return, hand gripping his steering wheel tightly as he went quiet once more. You shrugged, turning your attention to the window as you watched your neighbourhood come into view. Playgrounds, bright red fire hydrants, trees with tire swings hanging off thick branches. Yeah. Truly a terrifying small town if you ever saw one.
“But maybe you’re on to something.”
Of course, you were on to something. You may be hopeless sometimes, but you were actually pretty clever—
“Why don’t you date me?”
It was a good thing you weren’t the one driving. You would have crashed the car. He would have deserved it.
“You can just drop me off here,” you replied, reaching for the handle, thinking the best option in this scenario was to tuck and roll out of the car. Steve grabbed your wrist before you could. Damn.
“I don’t mean for real, smart ass. But think about it. It would solve my problem, and maybe even yours too.”
You turned back to look at him with a face that read, ‘maybe they should have taken away your diploma, after all.’ “And what problem do you see me facing?”
“Eddie. Eddie’s your problem. You want him to notice you, right? Jerk off’s never been my fan, and it probably annoys the shit out of him that I hang around Henderson and the other idiots. Add you to that equation, mixed in with a guy’s stupid need to have something they can’t have, and he’ll want to be dating you in no time.”
Huh.
“It’s surprising you were never a mathlete in school with logic like that.”
“Can you be serious for a second?” Steve pleaded back at you, turning into your driveway as he did. Even though you were home, you didn’t think getting out of this car was going to be any easier at that moment than it was any earlier.
“I am being serious!” You replied back, a small laugh escaping you at the absolute absurdity. You wouldn’t be shocked if this was just some elaborate prank set up by Robin to pay you back for ruining her favourite sweater a week ago. It was a bit overkill, but you had to appreciate the effort. “You’re the one not being serious. No one would even believe it anyway.”
Steve gave an oddly offended look. “And why wouldn’t anyone believe it? What, you’d never stoop so low?” Jesus, here he was, putting words in your mouth already.
“No,” you said bluntly. “I mean you would never stoop so low. What, the holy ex-basketball player dating his best friend’s little sibling who spends most of their days drawing alone or playing Dungeons and Dragons? Doesn’t exactly scream your type.”
He opened his mouth to argue back, judging by the narrowed look of his brows but decided to drop whatever it was. He deflated with a sigh into his seat, bringing up a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I-“ he paused again. “That’s not true, alright? Can you just think about it?”
You chewed the inside of your cheek, studying him and trying to understand why he was being so pushy with it. You could see how his predicament was bothersome. You’ve been on the receiving end of Robin’s persistent nagging countless times. But there was probably more to it than that if you were to bet. If Steve was so willing to sell himself out to try and make Eddie jealous, chances are he was hoping that using you would do the same for Nancy. He could deny it all he wanted, but there was still a hang-up there.
“Fine.” You relented, Steve’s hand immediately dropping from his face as he sat up perfectly straight like an obedient child just being told they could have one treat. You held up your hand to tamper it down. “Fine, I’ll think about it. Don’t get your hopes up.”
Turning back around to grab your backpack, you opened your door and slipped out of the car. Steve leaned over the seat and reached for the handle. You thought he would shut it and just be done with it, but he surprised you by saying, “don’t take too long. You don’t have to play hard to get with me,” with an infuriating smirk.
And then he shut the door in your face.
#stranger things#st#st4#stranger things season 4#steve harrington#joe keery#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fanfic#robin buckley#eddie munson#steve harringston fanfiction#stever harrington x reader#st fanfiction#stranger things fanfiction#st fanfic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things imagine
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𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐮 - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐫 𝐳𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬 (𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨)
╰┈➤ trevor zegras x fem! singer! reader au
╰┈➤ oc: Alanna Oregon (no faceclaim)
╰┈➤ masterlist
╰┈➤ this is completely made up from my mind, these songs do not exist, i created the titles and some of the verses one night thinking about this. i created these titles and verses for the sole reason of being able to have complete control over what Alanna sings and writes
𝓖𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓐𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓪 !
ೃ⁀➷ born May 23, 2000, Kennewick, Wash.
ೃ⁀➷ her best friends since birth is Becca "Becky" Rivera, their dads have been best friends since childhood
ೃ⁀➷ moved to LA in summer of 2019 to follow her music career
ೃ⁀➷ released her first official single in October of 2019 titled Love Message sparking numerous dating rumors, but no one knew who it was about
ೃ⁀➷ her debut album called Obsessed with You came out in summer of 2021, it was composed of 12 love songs, including Love Message, making it pretty obvious she was in a relationship by now, but who the boyfriend was remained a mystery
ೃ⁀➷ November 24, 2021. Alanna posted a carousel of photos soft launching her relationship with mystery man
ೃ⁀➷ January 2, 2022. Hard launch of her relationship with Trevor while the two quarantined together
ೃ⁀➷ April 2023. All posts about her relationship with the hockey player are deleted from her instagram sparking break-up rumors
ೃ⁀➷ Summer 2023, dating rumors between Trevor and Dixie, one of Alanna's close friends, begin
ೃ⁀➷ September 1st, 2023. Alanna announces her new album, Tired of U, coming out on October 14, 2023.
𝓐𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓪 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓣𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮
ೃ⁀➷ the two met in summer of 2019, Alanna had just moved to LA and Trevor was in Anaheim for the Duck's training camp
ೃ⁀➷ Alanna was laying on her beach towel when Trevor walked up to her and the two started chatting, eventually exchanging numbers
ೃ⁀➷ it was clear to the both of them as they got to know each other that they had feelings for one another, but since Trevor was going to Boston, neither of them acting on said feelings
ೃ⁀➷ october 29, Love Message dropped, the lyrics being a letter the girl had wrote to Trevor, but never sent when she saw he had a rumored girlfriend
ೃ⁀➷ the two didn't talk much until Trevor came back to California in September of 2020
ೃ⁀➷ A week before Trevor left for Michigan, November 3rd 2020, he asked her to be his girlfriend
ೃ⁀➷ In summer of 2021, Alanna released her first album, Obsessed with you, all the songs being about Trevor and their relationship
ೃ⁀➷ When the two of them caught covid in January of 2022, the two decided to hard launch their relationship with Alanna posting three photos. One being them watching a Harry Potter movie with only their blanket covered leg in the frame, the other being a plate of cookie, and the last one being a selfie of the two of them cuddling as Trevor pressed a kiss to her kiss
ೃ⁀➷ Their relationship was perfect until the 2022-23 season started, Alanna noticing the boy started acting very differently on and off the ice
ೃ⁀➷ The two eventually split up in April, Trevor calling her after his last away game of the season in Arizona, breaking up with her and hanging up before she even had time to realize what he had said
ೃ⁀➷ Alanna and Trevor never saw or talked to each other after that, all of her stuff being gone from his place when he came back, and all his things from her home being in a box on his bed
ೃ⁀➷ Now, had Alanna announces the release of her second album, all the songs being about Trevor but for not so good reasons this time, the boy has the urge to reach out.
𝓽𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓾
✎track i - 11 feet behind
✎track ii - friend stealer
✎track iii - mascara stained cheeks
✎track iv - killing us softly
✎track v - 30 seconds
✎track vi - sunset chasing
✎track vii - crushed mind
✎track viii - i regret you everyday
✎track ix - i miss u
✎track x - spinning circle
✎track xi - forgive
✎track xii - heist
✎track xiii - heart n soul
✎track xiv - tired of u
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hi cuervo i wasn't going to tell people on tumblr dot com about noah BUT i am so extremely susceptible to a single person asking about my guy that i am obsessed with talking about so you can hear. as a treat. and also anyone else who reads this post. HERE IS SOME NOAH SQUISHY OC'S FACTS AND DETAILS REAL
ok so first of all this is kinda cringe you cannot make fun of me but he was invented for oc x canon with yusuke...... so he's yusuke's boyfriend and eventual husband. yeah. sorry don't shoot me dead for being lame
ANYWAYS WITH THAT ASIDE noah is a musician and music teacher natively from berlin but he met yusuke by coincidence on a summer work trip he took to tokyo and eventually moved there to be with him!!! he is very passionate about music and he's also autistic so if you ask him about it he'll talk your ear off for hours. he's also a gay trans man!
he is a very soft and gentle type of guy. lovable and hug-shaped. and he's very affectionate to yusuke too, always holding his hand and calling him silly pet names and stuff hehe. and he's also kinda the eepiest man on earth. he can't stay up past 10 pm without falling asleep in yusuke's lap about it even tho yusuke is out here thinking 3 am is a normal time to work on art
noah is also very cringe. he's not even a millennial but he has that horrible millennial brand of humor where he thinks that stupid cat pun sweaters are funny. it's even to the point where he calls every friday "cat sweater friday" and wears a cringe cat sweater about it. every friday. he's been doing it for years and he will never stop. it's noah and yusuke and their unfunny jokes against the world
FINALLY here is an image of him. this is NOT by me it is drawn by my very dear and VERY talented best friend al @agalnamedlunasea so all credit and praise to him!!!! there's also very obviously some appearance hcs for yusuke on here but that's a whole nother post but long hair yusuke REAL
#squishy talks too much#hi. sorry for the cringe. i will literally pay people to let me talk about noah#noah kitagawa#<- if i post my lame guy he might as well get a tag. i guess
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Obligatory pinned post time!
This is NOT an RP blog.
This blog is meant to be a hub for my RP stuff. As I move things over you may see me following from here rather than my main account's main (@messyzoranablog). I've decided to move my RP stuff over to here primarily so I can have a separate dash for it and so I can avoid having my main making it to where I can't write stuff. I may reblog stuff from my art blog (@zoranadragon) if it's rp related.
RP BLOGS:
@silveredfeathers - Silver number who knows how many on Rotumblr. The cat/dragon/fish/dog/bird/man, the old trans man, the guy who's probably more OC than Silver at this point.
@shapeanon - An Arceus who was being anonymous for a while. She likes to talk about shapes. He has a Pelipper friend named Circle. What else could you ask for from them? It's in a separate universe from my other blogs.
@mysterious-skies - Viridian is a shiny Dragonair eebydeeby (human turned pokemon). He will eventually go through the Sinnoh gym challenge along with his rival/boyfriend, Myron! (@singing-deserts who's written by my BF)
@featheredjohtolegends - The Ho-oh and Lugia who chose the Silver I write. They don't really do too much on here, but feel free to poke at them to learn about legendary lore within the world they live in.
@shadow-cafe - A cafe found in the Distortion World with good foods and drinks at a surprisingly low price! It's also ran by Shadows that live in the Distortion World. Shared blog with my GF @theshadowqueenofthedistortion.
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