#I swear I'm actually an emo bad bitch | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

verysium · 5 months

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PLEASE DO BLUE LOCK ICKS IM BEGGING🙏😭🌹

😏 coming right up anon. gonna channel my inner critic and not hold back on any of these.

RIN

brother complex. not much else to say except that he needs to get a life. not everything is about metaphorically crushing your older brother's dreams and brooding in the dark hate of retribution.

competitive but only because he is a desperate whore for external validation. ignores everyone but craves the attention of a sole person named sae itoshi. was defeated by isagi once and has never let go of it since. has a one-track mind that is impossible to derail. stubborn when he wants to be.

probably a virgin and will continue to be one until his late 30s.

has not known a single day of peace ever since sae ditched him for the popular girlies. as a result, he has developed a very concerning case of social awkwardness. his idea of a conversation involves a brick wall and thirty minutes of you staring at his resting bitch face. constantly looks like that one grumpy cat meme. judges you for your poor decisions but then gets aggressively defensive when you point out his own mistakes.

reeks of so much teen angst that even metallica can't save him. the problem is that he has nothing to back up his emo persona. his insults lack creativity and, unfortunately for him, phrases like "lukewarm" and "half-baked" and "hell" do not make his words carry more weight. uses the f-word but in the most embarrassing context that it makes you facepalm and internally cringe.

SAE

zero social awareness. this boy's head is empty. the lights are not on up there. there are no picture frames or furniture. the curtains are drawn, and there is not a sliver of clouds or sunshine. cannot read body language and does not know what a filter is.

the source of all of rin's stress. he is the original trauma projector, creator of generational cycles. not even subtle about it. "turns out i was wrong. i thought japan was incapable of ever giving birth to decent forwards." sir....with the way you worded that, you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave rin false hope.

swears but it's even worse than his brother. literally called his elders a "fatso and bob cut duo" and "insect turd." i mean....there is a line between what is considered a legitimate burn and what is a first grader making up insults in his coloring book.

has a horrible haircut and no fashion taste. i already talked about this previously, but it was so bad it deserved a second mention.

a freak but tries to justify it rationally. like what do you mean you can tell a person's athletic ability from their buttock size? just admit you have a kinky fetish already.

somewhat of a coward but i'm gonna give him some leniency due to his tragic child genius backstory. tbh he's just an eighteen-year-old boy who needs a goddamn break.

KAISER

alexa please play clown music. this man sets himself for failure and then wallows in self-pity when he actually fails. like what did you expect? you knew what was going to happen the moment you challenged isagi like that. it was most definitely your fault you got violently humbled.

has a borderline god complex (currently calls himself an emperor but has not evolved into a deity yet.) unfortunately, he does not stand on business. cue the dramatic meltdowns when he realizes there is an actual gap between his ability and his reputation. if you're going to lie, at least make it believable.

insecure and mentally unstable. he probably cuts and re-dyes his hair every single time shit happens. no wonder his locks get shorter every time.

lazy when it comes to anything that is not football and expects others to do it for him. demands princess treatment wherever he goes. unfortunately, not all of us have servants with no self-respect like ness.

"it is not enough that i should succeed, others should fail" type of person.

does not wear shoes and even if he does, it's sandals. put them grippers away.

NAGI

a literal sloth who has so much potential but uses none of it. has no intrinsic motivation of his own, so if he's going to do anything, it has to be you behind the wheel, making sure he gets put to work.

does not have a close relationship with his parents, and so he has no sense of community, holidays, or traditions. no fun at all if you want him to do things like christmas shopping or birthday celebrations.

rots in bed all day and then has to nerve to ask you to carry him around. your back better be strong because his 190 cm body is not going to be light.

not loyal (need i say more.)

REO

second male lead syndrome. also known as that one popular guy who's always picked last.

acts like a victim but then when you realistically tell him to how to change his situation he refuses to do so. you cannot ask for advice and then take none of it to heart. no wonder you're still not over your ex.

"i can fix him" mentality. no, you can't. you are a seventeen-year-old child, not a licensed therapist and nagi isn't even all that.

NESS

touch-starved to the point he will stay in a toxic and abusive relationship in order to gain some scrap of affection. just because you were the black sheep of your family does not mean you can lose all sense of personal dignity.

probably stalks all the people he hates. has a burn book like regina george from mean girls. cuts out and glues little pictures of kaiser all over his bedroom. doodles hearts all over it with glittery gel pen. isagi's face and name are scratched out of every team photo.

delusional and prone to mood swings. medicated but at this point, he is beyond saving.

ISAGI

a home wrecker. has ruined more relationships than he can count on ten fingers yet still manages to smile like he's some angelic saint.

solves jigsaw puzzles for a living (not very cool if you ask me.)

has some unresolved anger management issues. probably repressed all his negative feelings when he was younger, so it all comes out when he's on the field. unfortunately, his twilight-sparkle-friendship-is-magic agenda is not going to work if he keeps cussing out his teammates like that. but then again, he is the main character, so i guess his plot armor makes up for his pitfalls.

says that he's a good guy but then holds personal vendettas against rivals he doesn't like. boy was so ready to throw hands when #kaisagi was trending on the internet. but when you actually think about, he's similar to kaiser in more ways than he'd like to admit.

BAROU

has the worst case of high and mighty "holier-than-thou" attitude. isagi put his ego in check, but it still peeks out from time to time.

he was the ugliest baby when he was born. i am not going to hold back on the child barou slander because it is true. no, he was not a cute and lovable bundle of joy. he looked like a demonic gremlin.

he needs to take more risks in life and try cross-dressing. simply imagining him in a maid uniform will not suffice. it needs to be made into a reality.

with how nit-picky he is, i doubt people can realistically stay within a 1-meter radius around him. unless you are a clean freak yourself, his constant complaints will start to get annoying after a time. even if he does have good intentions, he needs to let people have a little breathing room sometimes. a messy room is not going to kill you.

BACHIRA

this boy's brain is smooth. no folds. no gray matter. no intelligence either. his pencil and eraser have been left untouched since day one. if he wasn't crazily good at football, he would be unemployed and homeless in the future. not even a mcdonald's wants him.

one of those people who will do the literal opposite of whatever you say. you want him to stop talking? well, now he's never going to shut up. you tell him not to step on a pile of dog shit? well, now he's going to walk right into it. you want him to quit running around and act normal? well, now it's his life's mission to make you as annoyed as possible. please pray for your hair follicles because at the end of the day, you're not going to have many left with how much he makes you want to tear your hair out.

has the cerebral capacity of a toddler. if he thinks monsters are real, he's going to think anything is real. super gullible when it comes to any form of scam, ploy, or trickery. the only way he would not be fooled is if he's also played the same prank before.

SHIDOU

a brazen pervert. says the most out-of-pocket things and refuses to apologize for them. sometimes it comes out a little too sleazy for your liking.

"to me a goal is fertilization! a shot is the seed and the goal is the egg!! and the birth of that joy i call an explosion!! my genes are gonna knock you up!" let us give ourselves a moment of silence to digest this quote. only shidou ryusei would come up with a sperm and egg metaphor to describe football. (i guess protection means nothing to him.)

has no empathy. if you dislike him or cannot keep up with him, you're a literal nobody in his books. no sportsmanship. no compassion. no self-awareness.

you cannot say "balls" to him in a serious tone without him misinterpreting it as something dirty. that alone should tell you enough. stay the hell away from him.

where do men get the audacity? right here. from this little bastard. he invented the term "shameless slut." boy was getting off during the u-20 arc and on live TV too. no wonder sae said he was disgusting.

and finally, he comes from a long line of cockroaches. he's even got the antennae to prove it.

i think this might have been a little excessive, but i have no regrets about it. you're welcome anon ♡

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star-vibing-prompts · 8 months

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Random shit I had or others had said as prompts.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of sus, dark humor(probably), dark themes(also probably), Sensitive topics

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"Motherfucker is high on cat nip at the top."

"Imma just kick this fish then-"

"Let me sleep with you!"

"STOP CREAMING YOURSELF"

"Let me throw your child!"

"I smacked a bad guy's booty."

"That was a good ass slap!"

"Give me all these delicious batteries!"

"Everybody died in this family!"

"I JUST SHOT HER BODY WITH MY GUN-"

"I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I HAD BALLS STILL!"

"I got stuff on my neck!"

"Be honest, am I hot?" "I'M GAY-"

"IMMA WHIP OUT MY BEANS ESSAY"

"Not the duckussy"

"Already sus gonna hide in the ooc"

"Okay I got my happiness, bye"

"I like me some Among Us"

"Can someone hold me please"

"[Name] stop searching. I wanna search something up to on him!"

"IS HE WRITING A FANFIC OML"

"I KNOW BUT WHEN I LAUGH I SOMEHOW CHOKE ACK-"

"You're more grosser than I am."

"Ohh~ Hee got the rizz~"

"OKAY BACK TO CRYING"

"I love dying screaming"

"IM CRYING WHAT DID WE JUST WALK IN ON???"

"I will slap myself if I say something sus"

"Let her scream lmao."

"Being force to talk by a 14 year old"

"Such a beautiful break up"

"STOP RIZZING ME"

"Anyway does anyone want to get slap by me?"

"Damn she hot"

"THE FUCK WOMAN???"

"DAMN I AM A LONELY BITCH"

"Actually *SHITTING* himself would be pooping. *PISSING* himself would be peeing."

"Why did you eat mah stick?"

"STOP EATING POOP???? WHOS POOP EVEN IS THAT???"

"I- Wha- ho- ...MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE THISI-"

"I think u just pissed him up even more"

"And why are you creaming [Name]?" "Damn tell me how you really feel about the cream jesus"

"One of them is: What the fuck is going on at this point and why am I still here for it?"

"I just love killing people!"

"I want to fuck Optimus Prime."

"Allergies are kicking me ass"

"I would've given you some but you didn't talk fast enough /j"

"[NAME] PLEASE I BE SILLY"

"I SWEAR ON [NAME] IT AINT ME"

"Why is [Name] robbing [Name2]"

"Enjoy your last peaceful moments"

"You were the chosen one"

"Then speak it"

"And [Name] just set himself on fire"

"I feel like I am being judged now,,,,,bye." *disappears*

"The shame has already been done there is no going back"

"My mom used to buy me robux before she mcfucking died"

"I BROKE MY STICK"

"THEY DONT KNOW WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS"

"My gaydar told me"

"What the fuck are smiley fries."

"Rice with beef broth because we have no chicken"

"Anime cat girls are canon within Spongebob now."

"The Cat Has Ingested The Wall"

"Split dat chicken wingg"

"Oeuur... digs chicken wing out of the carpet"

SHRIEKS AND BREAKS IN THROUGH A WINDOW

"They have been bestowed the name [New name]"

"I love the fumbling with the remote"

"Literally vibrating in my chair, I’m really excited for the game"

"That's so sad imagine someone hated you so much they wouldn't even spend more than 5 bucks to hire a hitman"

"Bro's gonna be willing to die after that"

"FLOOFY AND GOOBER"

"I wanna invite them for tea and crumpets

The best type of relationship"

"ILL FORFEIT ALL MY LEGAL POSSESSIONS TO HIM"

"Like damn dude you don't need THAT much eye liner"

"This is so emo"

"My dude needs to look fabulous"

"WHAT A GOOBER ! FOOLISH LITTLE FELLOW"

"OMG ITS MY KID"

"LIL GUY IS SPEEDY ASF"

"They got a little too silly"

"ITTY BITTY"

"They just need to put some ice on it"

"Aww noo they spilled the cranberry juice" :(

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sowthetide · 1 month

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I saw the words If, Joffrey and Girl, in your previous ask and immidietly thought of And bless the daughter but fuck the family by dwellingondreams on ao32 that I read recently. And it was CRAZY GOOD??! The Joanna-Cersei interactions goes so hard. Especially with the whole younger more beautiful queen thing taking all she holds dear thing I just know internally Cersei’s probaly like ‘That’s Oomf but I low-key hate her 😭😭’

And I have yet to find a good genderbend Jon fic myself 1) Most of them are not my taste writing wise and 2) Those that I think ARE well written have Jon like you said act like a feisty she-dragon-wolf hot maiden who is hot or she’s just an object of desires for the men around her and by around her I mean any living man in Planetos ( i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ???? Then I continued reading of course ) And I have nothing against exploring incest in fiction ESPECIALLY in asoiaf like bear found on bear island…. But the girl!Jon/Robb thing doesn’t really hit because I think gay incest will always be better than straight incest,,,,Exemples : Aegon and Orys. Aenys and Maegor. Aemon and Baelon. Rhaena and Baela. The maiden vault girlies during the later years #keepingitlegal. Aemon The Dragonknight and Aeg-[GUNSHOT]. Umm what was i talking about again??

I totally agree that for a genderbend to stick the character should still have at least trace of what their original gender counterpart has like why is Fem!Jon not sulking , throwing little tantrums, being conflicted and feeling guilty every waking hour of the day :( like please make her a little bit emo please please please-

For ME! for a genderbend story to HIT, the character getting bended must have a 1) An Interesting and Very Fucked connection to BOTH parents that the gender thing can only worsen and 2) Also a Also Very Fucked Not Good Kinda Bad What’s Wrong With You relation to their gender and patriarchal norms in Westeros. Again, it’s asoiaf so it doesn’t really narrow it down that much( Mommy/ Daddy issues + not seeing women as people? That’s every bitch like ??) but I’m going on the basis that u understand my vision of like : Jon = decent/good. Theon,Joffrey,Maegor = GO CRAZY GO STUPID€/&/@1@

(Also genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐)

Just read "And bless the daughter but fuck the family" and uhhh... 😵‍💫 Okay okay okay. Perfectly insane genderbend. Give it a read, y'all (and tbh all of dwellordreams' fics go crazy, so check 'em out!)

Warning: mean opinions incoming. I'm a nice person usually I swear, I just also enjoy hating sometimes. Firstly, I agree that most Jon genderbends blow ass. Oftentimes, "Jon" just seems like a female author self-insert for someone who thinks Sansa is too girly/lame. Which I wouldn't generally have a problem with (we're all just here for a good time, and one man's unbearable cringe is another man's life-changing magnum opus), but it makes it hard to find genderbends that do interesting things with the actual character, rather than just inventing a female OC and calling it Jon.

"i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ????"

Oh my god lmaoooo. Beyond the ridiculousness of that, modern values in ASOIAF fics is more than a pet peeve to me, it's like a... man-eating tiger peeve. For instance, I quite like "Adjust For The Wind", as it's what inspired me to write Sow the Tide, but it also has a bizarre bit about women shaving their legs & genitals. Like:

Southern ladies are expected to remove all hair from between their legs.

“If you decide to groom between your legs using a razor or a knife, practice on your legs first. You can also use walnut oil, or bandages soaked in ammonia in a pinch.” Theon frowned. “I… see,” he parroted Mordane’s words. “And what do I use to keep myself clean… um, down there?”

Like literally what the fuck are you talking about lmao. To say that this took me out of the fic would be an understatement. I was so bothered by this that I tried to find actual published sources, but there didn't seem to be any particularly strong answers (besides that shaved genitals were more common among prostitutes). Also, for anyone reading, you do NOT need to clean inside your vagina, and your vulva (outside your vagina) should only be cleaned with warm water and a gentle soap if necessary. A strange place for me to make this point, but I'm making it.

I also tried a Jon genderbend fic recently, except fem!Jon had purple eyes and didn't look like Ned at all??? Despite that being a critical aspect of Jon's appearance??? I was just so completely flabbergasted because this author changed almost everything about Jon's appearance and personality, but somehow it's still supposedly Jon??? Like that's literally just an OC. Worse, of all things to keep, they stuck with Jon's canon age of 14 in a fic based around a romance with a 22-year-old man (Willas Tyrell). Maybe it's just because I'm 22 myself, but my immediate reaction was literally: "hm. I think Willas should be beaten to death." Like the fic itself felt tantamount to character assassination of Willas 😭 I was even bitching about this (wildly popular) fic on Discord:

I just hope to god the fic writer was a teenager, otherwise it seems like they just took GRRM's creepy handling of young characters like Dany at face value. Westeros obviously has different values, but it's concerning when the author themself seems to buy into those pedophilic standards.

GAY INCEST WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN STRAIGHT INCEST!!!!!!!!! 🗣️

lmaooooo. Also: "genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐" <- REAL SHIT!!!!!!! You had me cracking up with that one.

Also also: "Aemon The Dragonknight and Aegon" SAY THAT!!!!!!!

Seriously. Let fem!Jon be a sulky, prickly, angry, kind, self-important little emo. Let fem!Theon be an ambitious, vain, insecure, proud, also self-important little bitch. A complicated relationship with one's parents is a plus, and a complicated relationship with Gender is a MUST! Bonus points if they're a crazy bitch in canon (Theon, Joffrey, Maegor, as you point out)!!! I've currently been thinking about fem!Maegor ngl... 👀

Anyway, thank you for dropping in. I'm probably gonna end up making a fun haterism server with goddcoward and some other homies, in addition to the more chill Quen sever. If that comes to fruition, join us in the silly complaint circle!

#ask #green rat (yes i'm still doing the unsullied names. mwah!)

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bara-sen · 2 years

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Toman founders as high school students

Genre -: fluff, headcanons. I'm sad so I made this.

Honestly, the founders were besties and have always been in school together since elementary.

But we're talking about them in their second year of highschool according to Japanese system.

Baji is in first year bc mf failed 💀

He's in Emma's class and sits with her and annoys the shit outta her.

And often takes her notes with him to copy because he don't do shit in class.

Bold of you to assume Emma does anything in class that girl cannot give a single fuck because she hated studying.

Mikey is still kinda the leader of their group, it's like not official but everyone can say that.

He would be down to do anything as long as it's dirty and chaotic.

Baji's partner in arson.

Kazutora and mitsuya are like the most polite people there.

I didn't put draken because mf looks like he wants to kill people even when he's trynna be polite.

Also pah-chin is actually a pretty soft guy, he wasn't meant for this shit.

He is also the guy who has money and can help them financially.

For example if they need to go to a restaurant and mfs parents didn't give them money then pah-chin's the guy.

Pah chin is actually pretty kind hearted.

Mikey is a fucking menace, he's a bitch and he's not nice.

He thinks that he's above everyone and I swear he do black magic like I know an evil man when I see one.

He also has the weirdest ideas like he once lit up principal's chair with Baji and no one knows about it. Idk how they hid it.

He's known as izana's younger brother among teachers because izana was good at studying and paid attention to the class, he does not pay attention to any of his classes.

Mitsuya, yeah the token normal one yeah he's nice and all but this bitch knows the tea.

He knows about everyone because he often stays quiet and eavesdrop in other's convo.

Also he got his club so he is really hardworking.

Kazutora is dumb 💀

Like yeah baji's dumb but kazutora is like the clueless and cute kind. Like he's clumsy and kind of a people pleaser. But that's okay

He's also shinichiro's favourite 😍😍

I think draken is yuzuha's seatmate and they're pretty good friends. He often gives her advice over how to build your own Lego bikes and shit.

Also these guys still do not have the good boy reputation. Like they aren't full on delinquents but they still do kinda bad stuff.

Like they get into school fights alot, sometimes bully other bullies and are quiet mischievous.

Regular complaints to home.

They are also really popular. They're found to be good looking by people so they do have simps.

Kazutora have alot of simps because he gives emo vibes and is nice and cute and clumsy and yk that makes people go crazy. Actually all of them have equal amount of simps.

Also they are absolutely hated by other half of the school, like they're kind of annoying.

But in the end they got each other so they happy happy.

#tokyo revengers #toman founding members #toman founders #baji keisuke #haruki hayashida #ken ryuguji #manjiro sano #kazutora hanemiya #mitsuya takashi #fluff #tokrev crack #hcs #tokyo revengers spoilers #tokrev meme #tokyo revengers memes #crack #x reader

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golbrocklovely · 5 months

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I'm truly sorry for sending an ask about seg. I didnt think about any possible stress you may be under especially since you've mentioned you work retail and it's getting to be that hectic time of year. How do you like to destress when it gets to be too much? Do you have any stories about the absolute best/worst customer you've had to deal with? Does the holiday music lift you while working or drive you nuts? Favorite holiday song?

hey you're fine. i'm not upset at any of the anons that sent in asks about the SEG situation. i get it, yall want to talk about it and inform me. i appreciate it. i just had a stressful day and tbh i just don't care about this subject. seeing snc get needless hate over something that was dealt with is just deeply annoying. not to mention bc nothing is gonna happen until after thanksgiving, i would rather we all just wait to hear what gets said until then or straight up ignore SEG than give him more clout.

so, for all the years i've worked in retail, which now is 5... omg ew, i've actually never worked a black friday. first year my dad passed away, and then the past three year i've done overnights so i'm not around customers at all. this is my first time around customers this year, bc i just couldn't do overnights, and honestly... it's not that bad. it's not great, but it's mostly the store i'm working at that's upsetting me rather than the customers, which somehow is always the case anymore lol

i plan to leave as soon as i can. i can't stand the place i'm working in anymore. i pray i don't have to keep working in retail, but we shall see.

how do i like to destress? nap. like i fucking LOVE napping. i think i also have to nap more now bc i don't really drink caffeine anymore. i'll have an occasional soda or ice tea once in a while, but otherwise it's just straight water for me. so i usually just come home and nap. then when i wake up i'll either dance or sing to some emo music (got me like a 14 hour playlist of all my favorite songs) or i'll just watch some youtube vids.

i haven't had too many bad customers, thank god, but the one that always stuck out to me was during the holiday season the first year i work at my current store. so while i haven't worked really any black fridays, i have worked the lead up to christmas multiple times and i swear, i think ppl forget christmas is when it is with the way ppl coming in like the 23 of december buying all the random shit we have left.

so, i was up at the registers, and we have only self check out. i'm assisting ppl when i can and directing the line bc it's basically to the back of the store almost. the thing is, to literally come into the store, you have to pass the registers. so this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that it's self checkout only. but these two women are next in line and i direct one to an open register. she immediately says "what, i have to do it myself?" i'm not in a good mood bc there is just too many ppl around (and this was pre-pandemic) and i was like "yes ma'am, you have to."

my thing was always if you ask me nicely to help you, i gladly will. but being a bitch to me will basically get you no help whatsoever.

she starts to scan her items, and scans one too many times. she starts yelling "oh my god, i don't know how to do this, i double scanned" loudly, i come over, clear off the extra item and then direct her friend to the next register, which is coincidentally was the one next to her.

the main lady goes back and forth with her friend, saying and cursing "i can't believe i have to fucking do this myself, i don't like this, why the fuck can't they help us." mind you, i work in basically a kid's store. there are plenty of children around. there is no need to be cursing that much, and i say that as someone who does curse a lot.

finally she finishes up and for some reason the register spit out her change really fast so her coins fell on the floor. she picks up one of the coins turns to me, and basically throws it at me and snidely remarks "here you go, since you clearly need it"

i about swung on her, but she's lucky i didn't.

that was really one of the very few times i ever had a bad customer. as for good ones, i think for the most part most of the customers i interact with are either normal or pretty nice. i did one time have to explain to a man what bluetooth was, which is great bc i know so much about it….. and then he told my manager i did an excellent job helping him understand. so that was nice :)

as for the holiday music…. it's 50/50 depending on my mood. sometimes it's not too bad, sometimes it's annoying. bc we play random pop songs (that most of you have probably never heard of) in between the christmas songs. so for every one pop song, we get two to three christmas songs. and we only just recently started getting mariah carey and actual well know christmas songs to play in the store. before, it was like random covers of popular songs, which is very strange to me but whatever lol

and my favorite holiday song… i'm actually gonna list my favorite christmas songs bc i think i have the weirdest taste in them lol

christmas don't be late by alvin and the chipmunks

santa baby by eartha kitt

last christmas by the glee cast

baby it's cold outside by the glee cast

feliz navidad by josé feliciano

obviously mariah carey and michael buble are the top ppl for christmas music. but genuinely… i love these songs more.

a lot of christmas songs make me sad now since my father passed, especially 'i'll be home for christmas'. so sometimes it's a bit hard to listen to christmas music. but i usually hold off on listening to until like the 23rd lol

#ask #personal

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hotboxd · 1 year

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MANDELA CATALOGUE VOL 4 live reaction (spoilers obviously?!?!?)

MY HEAD IS EXPLODING THIS SHIT KINDA FREAKY 😭 THEY GOT LIVE ACTION NOW TOO UHHHH MY LORD GABRIEL IS WEIRD ALSO IS IT JUST ME OR DOES ADAM'S VOICE SOUND A BIT DIFFERENT?? UGHH I'M GETTING BAD VIBES FROM HIM UGHHHHHHH WHY HE ACTING LIKE THAT 😭😭😭😭 SOMEONE GET JONAH UP IN HERE PLEASE I MISS HIM 😭😭😭 SARAH HONEY LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN GET AWAY FROM THIS BLEACH BLONDE M.A.D HAVING CREEPASS 😭😭 OH NO OH NO NAH SARAH'S LEAVING NOW THANK GOODNESS BUT THAT MEANS JONAH'S DOING THIS SHIT NOW (okay here i thought it was like a blast from the past but nevermind it's following chronological order) oh okay we looking at uhh dms rn also jonah's right 25mg fucks anyways ADAM RESPOND TO EVELIN 'jonah bailed and i'm pretty sure he's dead or something' HAVE SOME EMPATHY MAN CMON WASN'T THAT YOUR HOMEBOY 😭😭 'OKAY WAIT let me say the good news' adam there is NO GOOD NEWS AFTER THAT 😭😭😭😭 MAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T THINK IT WOULDA BEEN A BIG DEAL YO BESTFRIEND GOT HIS ASS MERCED 😭😭 ADAM STOP WITH YOUR EMO ASS 'i don't have friends' I CAN DAMN WELL SEE WHY MAN CMON 😭😭 yknow what this bitch is either an alternate or a sociopath because like. why?? 'NO WONDER EVELIN LEFT YOU' OKAY DAMN SARAH damn who's smooth ass voice is that thatcher that you?? i'm sorry why does his hair look like a party city wig 😭😭 okay shit this monologue is really good alex kister has come a long ass way OH SHIT THE DARKNESS FOLLOWED HIM HOME IS THAT A. MARK HEATHCLIFF REFERENCE???!?!??! this is so fucking CREEPY AHJBDIUOCIUIB wait is he like flatmates with his alternate or sum?? DAVE LEE THANK THE LORD 😭😭 OH SHIT SARAH GETTIN FIRED??? AHHH OH MY GOD THATCHER'S ALT LOOKS SO FREAKY WTF WTF UGHHHH WHY HE LOOK LIKE THAT okay whoever voices thatcher has a very soothing voice he should do asmr or meditation videos or sum 😭😭 OH NO THATCHER DON'T CRY DAMN THIS ACTOR IS GOOD AS ALL FUCK GOOD GOD oh my god adam this memorial video is ASS what the FUCK oh this boy is definetely an alternate i swear if he's actually this much of a dickhead...... OH SHIT HOUSE FOOTAGE oh my god jonah's middle name was EDMUND???? wait huh are these voices speaking spanish 😭😭 nevermind that's english whoops goddamn these actors are saying these lines with they whole chest oh no FACE STUDIO??? that's bad news oh my god who would ever use this please god tell me this bombed on release day..... AHHH freaky ass shit oh my god 😭😭 i'm fucking hiding in the comments oh shit dave and thatcher on the PHONE this sounds like they're breaking up 😭😭 oh man lord what is that melody OH SHIT IT'S.... GABE?? I'M ASSUMING OH MY GOD IT IS IS HE BRITISH HE KINDA SOUNDS LIKE AN ELF. NAH I'M SORRY DAVE LOOKS KINDA GOOFY HERE 😭😭 GABE LOOKING WEIRD AS PER THE USUAL OH SHIT WHY IS THE ALARM GOING OFF oh my god this shit is so FUCKING FREAKY AHH GOD IS THAT STANLEY?!?!?!? AHH OH MY FUCKING GOD HE'S LIKE HIS FUCKED UP DAD GOOD WHAT STOP STOPSTOP NO OH MY GOD HE IS AN ALTERNATE

well..... that was a fucking rollercoaster??? ngl i kinda miss the og style 😭😭

#j.d talks #the mandela catalogue #tmc #long post

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ultimate-distaster-material · 2 years

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-Saiou Oneshot- Despair Disease

!TW! Mentions Death Lots of Swearing Mentions Some Not Kid Friendly Stuffs

KOKICHI POV

"Ding dong bing bong whatever HURRY UP AND GET TO THE GYM OR ELSE I HAVE A NEW MOTIVE!"

I sighed and lifted the covers off myself, reluctantly changing out of my sleepwear and putting on my tight, uncomfortable uniform and adjusting my iconic scarf. As I exited my dorm, I watched Chabashira and Yumeno walking down the hall, hands tied together, and fingers tangled in each other's. As quiet as a mouse, I creeped behind the couple, eventually getting bored of hearing Chabashira fangirl over the mage, taking a huge leap. I landed on Yumeno and we both fell onto the floor. I didn't mean to knock her over, oopsie daisies! ~

"Stupid degenerate! Are you okay my beautiful Himiko? Do you need me to give you some water?"

The magician just lazily stood back up and turned to me, ignoring Tenko. I knew for sure I was going to experience some of Chabashira's neo aikido...

"Of course, it's you, Ouma! You better stop causing trouble, or I'll haunt you with my magic!"

Letting out a laugh, I leaned in close to the smaller girl's face, watching her blush at how close we were. I placed one of my creepy smiles onto my face, bringing a curious finger to my lips.

"No need to be so rude, Himi-Chan! Isn't haunting what witches do? I can't believe it," My hand raised to my forehead, and I formed a dramatic expression of fake betrayal. "you lied to us! Another ultimate lying about their talent! How could you?!"

Crocodile tears suddenly started flowing, and Chabashira just tightly grabbed the magician's hand.

"Quick Himiko! Ignore that stupid degenerate male, and let's get to the gym before that build-a-bear executes us!"

The pair ran off together, or in more accurate words, Tenko dragged a sluggish Himiko with her, swinging the gym doors open as I followed behind, so bored that I might go insane.

"Everyone's here, right? So, we can get on with it! I can't wait to see this exciting new motive! ~"

"Shut it, pissbaby! Did you even notice that your 'boyfriend' is fucking missing?! Stupid lying abortion!"

I rolled my eyes, picking at my nails and showing no interest.

"Shut it, nasty pig! You should be bowing in front of me right now, begging for forgiveness from your supreme leader! Too bad you're such a whore... You wouldn't be allowed within 900 steps of the supreme leader's lair!"

"Oh shut your fucking mouth, you're such a lying little shit! Go fucking play with yourself!"

Ignoring her, I searched around the room for my beloved. He was... Nowhere. I didn't see any emo with black clothes and a stupid black cap, with those beautiful olive eyes and attractive long eyelashes. His perfect smile and those freckles you could see if you looked hard enough...

"Hey, Ouma! What's with the blush? You thinking about sucking some dick when we go back, aren't ya?! You're so fucking gay!"

"I'm actually bisexual, but I guess a dirty bitchlet like you wouldn't know that. Also, you can't shame me for being gay when you're literally a hardcore lesbian for Akamatsu-Chan!"

The pair of girls blushed, Kaede deciding to defend her crush.

"Ouma-Kun, how about we calm down! It doesn't matter about how lesbian is, or how gay you are! We should be worried, Saihara-Kun is- "

Kaede's speech was rudely cut off by a certain detective stumbling through the door, his face pale and he was sweating a lot. A lot of whispers, including mine were heard around the room, discussing how ill the detective looked.

"Haha, look at this guy! He was probably jerking it in the bathrooms thinking about this gorgeous girl genius and her golden brain, weren't you Pooichi!"

"Can't you just shut your slutty mouth for one fucking second? I'll never think dirty things about someone as pathetic as you, bitch."

Everyone stared in shocked silence. Since when was Saihara-Chan such a badass?! If I knew this, I would've fucked him way sooner...

"Sidekick? Are you alright? That fucking liar didn't brainwash you or something, did he? I'll beat some sense into him if he did!"

"Oh, shut up Momota. You're so loud! I didn't do shit!"

"He's right, stop accusing my beloved Koki of such ridiculous things! And honestly, how can you even call me your sidekick? I solve all these murders and carry you all, and you just sit there counting fucking stars while me and Kimchi do all the work! If anything, you should be my sidekick!"

There was silence once again. Nobody knew what to say in this situation, the normally shy detective was going full badass mode and roasting everyone after all! However, all that stuck in my mind were the words 'beloved Koki' and 'Kimchi'. He likes me back after all! I can't believe it!

"Aww, Shumai is soooo cute! Calling me his beloved in front of everyone and giving me such adorable nicknames! It should be a crime to be that cute!"

"That's such a shame... I guess you'll be going to jail then!"

My whole body froze. Was Shumai flirting with me? Best day ever! I was about to fall into a gay panic!

"Can you two virgins shut the fuck up!? I've been sitting here for 10 minutes watching this lovey dovey romance! This isn't a dating show, it's a KILLING GAME!"

"Sorry Monokuma, please proceed with the motive you were going to present."

Kirumi was always so formal when she spoke. I think on the inside she was just done with all our bullshit. Being the ultimate maid must be so boring and hard...

"Yes Monokuma, please explain. Is it to do with my twin acting so odd?"

Tsumugi huh? She never spoke up to Monokuma much. I knew Saihara-Chan was her brother, but not her twin!

"Ok little fuckers, listen up! I'm only going to say this once! Me and my adorable little children decided to reintroduce a fan favourite motive... And applied it to the fan favourite! You're little detective has been infected with..."

Awkward silence washed over the gym, none of us speaking a word and waiting for Monokuma to say something about the motive.

"Dammit children! You were supposed to do a drum roll! You're lucky you guys are so cute, otherwise I would've ripped you all to shreds!"

"SORRY-FATHER. WE-WILL-DO-BETTER-NEXT-TIME."

"Oh shut it Monodam! You're fucking useless! Just do the fucking drum roll already!"

The continuous tapping of metal against the stage filled the room, the drum roll intriguing everyone as Monokuma smirked.

"The reintroduction of the DESPAIR DISEASE MOTIVE!"

My mouth opened, however no sounds escaped. What was I supposed to say..? Looking around, I could see everyone was the same, except for a certain victim.

"Monokuma, you're really interesting and all, but can I go back to bed already? My head hurts like a bitch and I honestly don't give two shits about whatever you're saying."

"Damn, I really should've given you a different disease. That's no way to talk to your precious headmaster."

Shuichi rolled his eyes in annoyance, everyone watching the scene. Nobody had adjusted to the detective's new personality yet, the normally shy boy acting so aggressively. To be honest, nobody even knew how to respond to whatever Shuichi spits out now.

"Do I look like I care? I don't care if I was given some shitty personality heightening disease, just let me go back to bed already!"

"Personality... heightening...? What is that supposed to mean...?"

Everyone was intrigued and listened closely. We had to take care of our beloved Shuichi after all! I unconsciously started tapping my foot against the ground, earning a whisper-yelled 'Stop doing that, it's too loud. God you're so annoying...' from Maki.

"Well, my beloved students with no brains, it means that whatever emotion Shuichi feels at the current moment gets increased. So, if he gets even the tiniest bit sad, he will fall into a depressive state! If he is a little happy, he will get excited to the point of running around in circles for a whole ten minutes!"

Putting a thoughtful finger to my chin, I observed Shuichi's current behaviour, piecing an answer together with Monokuma's rather helpful information. However, a certain tennis pro beat me to it.

"So that means he is angry at the moment? I wonder why that would be..."

I was wondering the same thing. What I didn't notice was that my foot started making those up and down motions again, and Maki slapped me on the back of the head. Angie just walked up behind the 'child caregiver' and muttered something about Atua watching her while she slept. Creepy... I have to live with these people for the rest of my life!

"Maybe it is because he was dragged out of bed? He seemed annoyed with that earlier, so that is probable. Kehehehe... Anger is such a beautiful emotion..."

"Shut it, kinky freak! Stop being weird!"

"Gonta thinks Miu should stop being mean! Miu need to speak less vulgar, too!"

Gonta placed his hand on Miu's shoulder to continue talking to her about how to be a gentleman.

"Guys, one of our classmates is in a dangerous condition! Let's focus on him, okay? So Shuichi, Iruma-San installed a function on me which lets me read people better. According to my calculations, you're fuming with anger and about to lash out at everyone, do you need my assistance to calm down...?"

Shuichi didn't respond, his only response being a huff and folding his arms over each other in annoyance. The sick teen just desired to go back to the comfort of his bed...

"Oh and once more thing you little shits! It's contagious, so good luck taking care of him! Everyone get's a different disease!"

With that, the build-a-bear looking psychopath left the stage, his 'children' following him close like a little of lost and clingy puppies.

"Nishishi! Silly Kiibo, of course you wouldn't of known diseases were contagious! I'm surprised a lawn mower even knew what a disease was!"

"Ouma-Kun, that is robophobic! I promise you, I know an amazing amount about human's and their behaviours! I will see you in court!"

"Can you fucking cut it out already! My head is hurting so bad, you need to stop yelling or I'll fucking kill all of you on the spot!"

Saihara suddenly pulled out one of the kitchen knives, glaring at all of us. I could tell even Miss Murder Girl was even a bit intimidated. Amami, somehow calm in this situation, slowly approached Saihara and gently grabbed his wrist, and carefully pulled the knife from its position between the detective's fingers. Everyone cautiously approached the detective before flooding him in a wave of questions, getting up in his face and confronting him about the illness. The only ones choosing to stay out of the way were Tenko, Ryoma, Amami, Maki and Kiibo. Me too of course!

"Everyone, must you crowd him? He has mentioned that all the talking hurts his head, and must you forget that this illness is contagious?"

Hearing Kirumi's words, everyone took a good 20 steps back, already panicking about catching the disease. Idiots. However, one arrogant astronaut stayed.

"Hey degenerate, get away from the walking sickness! I don't care about your health since you're a male, but if you infect any of the girls there will be a class trial! Come on Himiko, let's go!"

And just like that, the two lesbians hurried off through the door, Tenko ranted random nonsense about males to the mage who just nodded in response, not even listening, and almost falling asleep as she sprinted to keep up with the other strong woman.

"I'm not leaving," Kaito's voice boomed proudly. "I'm staying by my sidekick's side every step off the way! We'll fight this off together, right sidekick?"

"Once again, I'm not your sidekick, just let me go to the dorms already..."

"I'll take you there sideki- I mean Shuichi!"

Kirumi cleared her throat, addressing the problem. Half of the other ultimate students had left out of boredom, and the gym was rather empty now.

"Momota-San, I do understand your passion to take care of others, however, I am concerned. Saihara-San could easily infect you. Not to force anyone or point fingers, but I think Kiibo should do it. I do not mean to be robophobic to you Kiibo-San, but am I correct to assume that since you're a robot you cannot get infected with sicknesses?"

Kiibo nodded formally, understanding what she was going to say next and giving her a thumbs up.

"Do not worry Tojo-San, I will work as hard as I can to restore Shuichi back to full health and make sure everyone remains safe!"

With that said, everyone dispersed, going separate ways to do whatever they planned to do. Kiibo took my beloved back to the dorm, and I never heard from anyone again after that.

-POV CHANGE -> SHUICHI POV-

"Kiibo, can you carry me any faster?! I'm sweating my ass off and my whole body is aching!"

The robot's steps faltered as he struggled to carry my body, which was surprisingly heavy. Carrying a heavy, sick teen who keeps squirming in your grip up a flight of stairs was an insanely hard task. Part of me sensed guilt for making Kiibo go through all this struggling, however the main part of my brain didn't care. I just continued spitting out annoyed complaints about Kiibo's strength and how slow he was.

"Hey, useless vacuum, are we there yet?! I'm sleepy..."

I could hear Kiibo's artificial breath of relief as we came to an abrupt halt. What was happening...? My mind eventually fogged with too much weariness, and it became impossible to make out anything in this mindset. So, my brain decided to spare Kiibo a lot of trouble and shut down. And with that, I was washed into a deep sleep, no sickness here to bother me. Just, peace, calmness, and silence.

I spotted a purple haired boy in the middle of a flower field. His hair flowed with the wind and his eyes glistened in the sunlight. Taking a seat next to the petite male, his hand caressed mine. We talked about whatever came to mind, eventually getting closer and closer until we were only an inch apart.

"I've always wanted to feel those lips, Saihara-Chan..."

I blushed as I sensed his soft, smooth pink lips connect with mine. My senses were filled with the complicated emotion of love, feeling the smaller boy climb into my lap too deepen the kissing sensation. I wanted more. I wanted him. No, I needed him. My fingers shakily reached towards an orange button on his shirt, caressing the button before beginning to undo it. That's when I heard it. A noise that resembled the sound of bones crushing and blood spewing everywhere. I pulled away in shock, my eyes widening when I was met with the horrifying sight before me. The little leader had neon liquid trickling down his face from his forehead, and he was crying.

"Saihara-Chan, I don't want to leave!"

I opened my mouth, but nothing except a choked noise came out. He was gripping on my sleeves for dear life when I spotted his body slowly becoming transparent. I loved him. Why was this happening...? All I could do was sit there, drowning in a hole of despair as I painfully watched my crush wilting away like a decomposing flower, my eyes glued to the disturbing scene until there was nothing left to see. Wiping an ocean of tears away from my eyes, I observed my surroundings. I was seated in a field of flowers, like I was before. However, the flowers were all hunched over, devoid of any colour and awaiting their death.

Sweat stained my forehead as I sat helplessly in bed, gasping for air. My lungs felt as if they were closing in on themselves, and my head was spinning with the scenes of Kokichi begging for my help as he gradually faded. I hopped out of bed, gritting my teeth at the pain in my legs and the feeling of my knees collapsing as I collided with the floor, a loud bang erupting and echoing through my dorm room. I glanced at the robot, who was in sleep mode. Creeping towards him on my stomach, I snatched the dorm keys from him and resumed crawling to the door, eventually slotting the key through the hole and the door opening. I crawled outside, down the stairs, and all the way to Oma's dorm. I knew what I had to do.

I pound at his door, gathering strength to finally stand as I attempt to punch the door down, blood staining my knuckles as I tried persistently. I need to see him. My assault to the door cut off when it opened.

"Who the fuck is distu- SHUMAI??? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DOOR? IS YOUR HAND ALRIGHT?"

I knocked the breath out of him when I tumbled into his small frame, pinning him down onto the cold floor and delivering harsh kisses to his lips.

"Woah, woah! Shumai! Calm down, are you feeling horny or something? Sorry but it's 2am and I'm too tired to fuck!"

"Kimchi I-"

Cut off by my body going back to kissing the little liar, he tried to push me off, and my lips eventually left his as I struggled to breathe.

"Shumai, you have a fever! Go back to bed with the refrigerator!"

"K-K-Kokichi- I can't! I have to stay with you! The only way to make you stay by my side is to spread the disease to you! That way you will never leave! Please, please! I want you to do it with me!"

His expression got fearful, before he let out a sigh and grabbed my hands.

"Let's go back to the keyboard in your dorm, okay? He can take care of you."

"Kokichi no! Please! I need you! I can't live without you, please I-"

"Shuichi fucking Saihara, look at me. You are sick with a dangerous fever. I don't want to increase my chances of getting sick too, and it's fucking 2am. Not to mention, you aren't in your right mind to consent. My poor Shumai probably felt the tiniest bit sexual and couldn't control it, hm? Now come on, let me guide you to Kiiboy."

I gave up on trying to fight just letting Kokichi direct me back to Kiibo before he powered on the robot. I could see his eyes blink before exiting sleep mode, confused at the situation.

"Sorry not sorry, but I am here to interrupt your beauty sleep Toaster. Shumai here came to me begging for sexual gratification. I'm going to quarantine back in my dorm in case I have the disease, just tie him up or something, since he'll probably come crawling back to me again."

"Oh, I am sorry Kokichi. It probably wasn't wise to sleep with an out of control, sick person in the dorm."

Kokichi muttered a small, rather rare, reassurance to the robot before stepping away to return back to his dorm.

"Kokichi please wait! You have to stay! Please! I don't want you to leave again! Why don't you want to stay here with me! Is it because I didn't save you? I'm sorry!"

The two looked at me like I was mental. I probably was.

"Whatcha mean by that? Didn't save me? Leave again? Did you have a bad dream Shumai?"

I nodded when Kiibo thought of an idea. I didn't want Kokichi to leave, and Kokichi didn't want to stay in case he wasn't *actually* sick yet. If he stayed, he would've definitely caught the disease.

"What if I ask Monokuma for a spare bed and split the room with a small glass divider? That way Oma can stay in case he did catch the illness, and Saihara can stay near Oma. Would that work?"

I nodded furiously. I didn't want to let Oma go. I was definitely feeling very desperate and over-protective, more than I would usually feel, but I guess it's the disease's fault, not mine. Kimchi eventually nodded in agreement, and with that sorted, we got the help of Monokuma to help us set up the room we wished to have.

"Shumai, no offense, but you're a real pain in the ass sometimes!"

I sensed a tiny bit of sadness, thinking nothing of it until...

"I'm sorry Oma-Kun! It won't happen again!"

I began uncontrollably crying a never-ending river of tears, wiping the snot that was pooling above my lips with the collar of my shirt.

"Saihara! Don't dirty your shirt, here! This is going to be a lot to take care of..."

I wiped my nose with the tissue Kiibo offered me, and the three of us settled for bed, the robot actually keeping watch over us this time.

This took 2 hours of my day to write! Long one for yall as an apology for being dead <3 Word Count: 3410 Stay safe out there everyone! I personally enjoy being sick, but if any of you reading this aren't feeling your best, then I hope you have a speedy recovery! <3333

#oumasai #saiouma #danganronpa #gay #shuichi x kokichi #despair disease #oneshot #angst #part 1 #sick characters

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despair-to-future-arcs · 9 months

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Well Ms Izumi?

Grandma - don't believe what that emo gamer bitch is saying! She is trying to trick you with that technology you hate!

Besides you hate technology and video games! For all you know, she could of edited the damn thing and I'm sure it wouldn't look like me at all!

How about you quit saying that, I didn't edit anything! I video taped it and mostly wanted you to stop because you were bullying my class and kept me from making friends so what the actual hell!

Hmph, you think any of them want to be friends? They all attended Hope's Peak to get careers and talents so maybe stop playing nice and learn about the real world instead of playing video games.

Then maybe you should stop being such a brat; you insecure, immature, bratty womenchild! I swear you act like a freaking 6 year old! Whenever you insult someone it's okay when you do it but then suddenly when someone insults you, you just suddenly go into a temper tantrum pull those fake tears so how about you grow up and learn to take responsibility for once in your damn life!

Waa...Waaaa-.

WAAAAAAHAHAAAAAHAAAAA! YOUR MEAAAAAAN!!!

Enough of you 2, your both need to stop arguing because I can't think clearly with all this yelling!

Ye-Yeah see grandma! I told you she was a bully she-!

Hiyoko don't start...

Now, it seems that this Nagi girl wants to show proof to me that you are unfit to be my successor and is considering the clan in mind which if that's the case... I should see what she wishes to show...

Wa-Wait wait, it's not... I was just kidding! It's really not as bad it sounds, you have to believe me! YOU HAVE TO!

Thank you ma'am, so here you go... *sets her phone and shows the video*

So are you ready? Because the video footage your about to see is what I witness...

#dr #danganronpa #dtfa #despair to future arc #ds:rw #despair side: re write #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #hiyoko saionji #nagi nanami #izumi saionji #anonymous #ds ep 3

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winterpower98 · 2 years

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I watched the the Monkey King Reborn movie with Kai, Rhy and a few other people!

Here's my reaction to it!

(Obviously contains spoilers for the movie)

If people would like to see the movie, here’s a handy link to where you can watch it free with subtitles

Primordium!?! Wasn't his name Huandi or something?

Is that him?!? Oh no it's just Tripitaka, fuck you

Excuse me!? MY demon!?!

Ah there is our emo boy

Hello what that tongue do?

Look at that statue, look at that background ( I did gush about the backgrounud and character designs a lot so I cut them out of this reaction for the sake of not being tedious)

Rhy: Why did they gave him eyeliner? Me: Why NOT

Everyone in VC: Get his ass

Oh no this is the part with the ugly bugs designs, oh no

Sir don't hit the grandpa

Kai: Sir you're already immortal Me: Does it look like he cares!?!

What the fuck- drugs!?

He actually looks concerned!?

NOW he's angry. Don't touch his monk

Kai: Come and murder Wukong, go boy

RIP to the tree and the babies

With the TONGUE why???

Ah yes, the damsel in distress is back again

Kai: Gay baby jail

I'm still not over the Primordium name

Why did they gave him this... Mafioso walk????

Did we already forget about the horse?

Kai: Fucked up deer Me: HOLY SHIT they're eating each other!?!

Demon: No salamander is this ugly Me: DAMN BOY

WHEEZE

Strike one! That’s a knock-out boys

Kai: Sir you have no eyeliner, how do you hope to win?

*baby fruit appears*

Everyone in VC: BABY

Kai: Why does it look wet?

Rhy: DO A SPLIT!

Kai: Learn to fly!

Me: I mean, he is a golden cicada so

Everyone in VC: You're a dad! Boogy woogy woogy!

Sandy tries, at least he tries to be nice

All of us: we love Sandy, he's so nice On screen: *Sandy about to die by demons*

Rhy: Father? I apologise. Father? I apologise

Kai: THE CHILD IS SAD. COMFORT YOUR BABY

we really went from zero to 100% fast

Kai: Do they keep the teeth? Do they keep the sharp teeth Me: That is important information

Kai and Esmermint: Is Tripitaka baby? Is baby Tripitaka?

Look at that happy father smile

AH The fucking staff back in the ear!

Everyone: AAWW! Papa! A Dad!

Esmermint: He really is moist father now

Wukong: *does the eye glow thing* Everyone: ooooOOOOO

Excuse me was that a growl? Excuse me?

He's covered in dust, no more moist baby

Diety: you're still so handsome! Wukong: *loses grip on the staff: Me: That's gay Kai: That's fruity

Me: The baby is going to die Rai: We all die sooner or later Kai: You're not special

Yeah

Telling Wukong to ask for help is not going to work

Hello DBK's girlfriend

LOOK AT JIN AND YIN They're going to die so bad

Kai: Human form? Me: For the monster fuckers Esmermint: He do be looking fine tho

Baby: I do like being called Fruitie! Kai: Me too Me: WHEEZE

Wukong: I'm an evil demon Me: Press X to doubt

Me: Look at these bros Esmermint: Me and the bros

PIGGY DADDY!?!

No please

Hello!?! Bajie about to wreck ass

More monkeys!?! Hell yea- Why are they so ugly!? Why are they bald!?!

(two types of people when Primordium appears on screen) Rhy: Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Esmermint: Let me see this ugly man!

Rai: Me next! Me next! Me: WHEEZE! NO!

No please, this hurts! The poor baby!

Kai: Stop, he's not going to die Me: I mean, I know. But consider: I don't care

Kai: Moist baby c'mon! Esmermint: Stop, it's scared Kai: Die bitch!

Sir please

*baby starts to cry*

Sir please

Oh hi Trip! You missed a lot! You’re a grandpa now

*Tripitaka dies*

Kai: Buddha I don't feel so good

Me: Hello? What is this Dragon Ball Z bullshit? Kai: Yeah! Clip his toenail! Esmermint: The baby is moisturizing

I don't feel so good 2, electric boogaloo

I swear, if my "on fire Wukong" design becomes canon I'll scream

I SWEAR APOLLO

I know this song! This is THE song!

Rhy: Don't put on a shirt, just, keep it off

Me: W H E E Z E

Kai: Wack him like a fly!

Kai: I wish that was me Me: KAI Rhy: I wish that was me too Me: GUYS

Wukong: I have a soul Kai: And you're made of lava Me: And you're smoking hot

Someone: Herobrine Me: Who the fuck said Herobrine!?

Me: Is the horse still at longevity mountain? Rai: He's just vibing

Ah yes, the gay is back

THAT'S HOW IT ENDS!?!

bastards

Kai: There's the horse! Rai: Horse! Me: Ah there's the fucking thing

-extra scene-

Kai: Bring the baby back Me: Nah she'll just bring back the tree

Cheeky ape!?!

Fruitie Look at this fucking father

#The Monkey King Reborn #winter reacts to movie #winterpower98

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multi--kpop--fanfics · 3 years

Text

(Not) Such A Good Boy

sub!bf!Juyeon x dom!fem!reader (ft. Eric, Kevin and Hyunjae)

genre: smut, slight crack, a bit of fluff towards the end

contains: dom/sub themes, degradation, oral sex (f receiving), marking, biting, spanking, Juyeon is a brat on a choker and a leash, unprotected sex (be safe y’all)

Author’s note: This man right there has been wrecking my existence lately (I blame Kingdom) and this GIF screams sub!Juyeon so yeah, enjoy this filth

“Lee Juyeon, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me”, you scoff under your breath. You have been waiting for the past twenty minutes in the living room, outfit and makeup on point, since you were about to go clubbing with your group of friends. But apparently, your dear boyfriend had lost all sense of time, trying to get ready.

Visibly irritated, you storm to your shared bedroom, your heels angrily clicking on the wooden floor. “Juyeon, I swear to God-” you mutter and stop mid-sentence, only to see your boyfriend leaning on the door, fully dressed and a lop-sided smirk plastered on his handsome face.

“You called, babe?”, he asks teasingly and before rolling your eyes, you give him an once-over, processing his choice of clothes - a pair of tight black leather pants that were hugging his muscular thighs deliciously, a pair of black combat boots, a cropped black sweater with holes around his clavicles and a black belt-like choker around his neck. He was the epitome of the emo bad boy that all parents hated and all girls craved.

“Um, what is this?”, you question him with a pointing finger. "That, is my outfit for tonight", Juyeon states, the previous smirk still on his face, "What, you don't like it?". "Isn't it a bit unfair for me to wear not so revealing clothes all while you're dressed as an emo himbo?", you complain and he laughs, "An emo himbo? Wow, you're getting more creative with your descriptions, Y/N. You're right though, it's a sort of questionable outfit". You perk up at his response, hoping he'll change into something more colorful and less hole-adorned, only to be utterly disappointed, as Juyeon reached into the closet only to drape a black leather jacket on top of his broad shoulders. "Now we're good to go", he turns to you and winks with audacity. Brat, you scoff mentally and pick up the keys to unlock the door and finally leave your shared apartment.

"Finally! What the fuck took you so long?!", your friend Eric yells at you, trying to overcome the loud bass of the club speakers. "Your complaints to your friend over there, he was the one who took twenty minutes to get ready", you roll your eyes pointing to Juyeon, who was greeting Hyunjae and Kevin, your other friends. "Yooo, Juyeon, what's up with the collar, bro?", Eric amusingly points out. "It's a choker, you tasteless twat. But what would you know of fashion, since you only know how to wear t-shirts and ripped jeans?", Kevin comments and Juyeon mouths a 'thank you' to him. "Simple is the best, my dear friend. Besides, I've been getting all the girls, unlike you and your snake print jacket", Eric retaliates. "Excuse you, this jacket is a fashion statement!", Kevin bites back, feeling insulted. "Not gonna lie though, it does look like a collar. Will you put him on a leash too, Y/N?", Hyunjae comments in a snarky way, making Eric cringe in disgust. "Hyunjae, please go get some drinks, for God's sake", you reply with a dismissive manner. "Yes ma'am", he rolls his eyes and goes to the bartender.

You turn to Juyeon, who was extremely stiff after Hyunjae's comment. "You okay, baby?", you nudge him softly and he's brought back to reality. "Y-yeah, I'm fine, no worries", Juyeon replies, praying that the loud bass could cover his shaky voice. "Don't listen to Eric and Hyunjae, they have zero fashion sense, bro. I would wear that choker too, looks hella good on you", Kevin adds while pointing to the choker and Juyeon's smile is back on his face, "Thanks, bro, I really appreciate it", he replies with a chirpy tone.

The music suddenly changes into a slower jam and Juyeon smirks devilishly, as he winks at you and walks towards the dance floor. You watched as he starts swaying his hips and shoulders in the most smooth way possible, his half-lidded eyes never leaving yours. Eric and Kevin were whistling and cheering on Juyeon, all while Hyunjae was snorting at their antiques. You were simply lost in the image of your boyfriend dancing like there was no tomorrow. He wasn't just following the rhythm, he was riding it - and boy, was he good at doing so.

In fact, he was so good that he gained the attention of many people in the club. And you were lowkey proud, because that man was yours. However, a certain girl wasn't aware of that - hence why she approached Juyeon and started dancing with him. You were a bit jealous, not gonna lie, but the next moment made your blood fucking boil.

He had the fucking audacity to put his hands on her waist and dance with her - all while looking to you over her shoulder with the most smug expression on his face. That fucker, you mentally curse. This was definitely payback for everything you said before you left the house. You just knew it. You weren't even the jealous or possessive type of girlfriend to begin with.

But you'd be damned if you were to let a random bitch run her hands over your boyfriend.

Hyunjae catches up to your motions and he grabs you by your wrist. "Hyunjae, what the f-" "Shut up and listen to me. Going there and creating a scene will not end up well for you and you will give Juyeon exactly what he wants", he states and his words hit home faster that you expected. "Since when did you become so perceptive?", you raise an eyebrow and he chuckles, "I have my moments too, Y/N". "So, since your brain decided to actually function tonight, do you have any idea?" you ask in defeat and Hyunjae starts pulling you to the dance floor by your hand, leaving Eric and Kevin completely baffled. He then pulls you into his chest and leans in your ear to whisper

"Just dance, Y/N".

A Cheshire cat-like grin spreads on your lips, as you catch up to his ulterior motive and you start dancing with Hyunjae, hoping that Juyeon will notice the two of you. "Don't think too much about it, it will happen naturally", he adds, "You're too stiff, Y/N, just relax and enjoy dancing".

His words actually succeed in making you relax and you sway your hips more comfortably, actually enjoying the slow jams echoing through the club speakers. Under the dim lights, you lock eyes momentarily with Juyeon, who was licking his lips and his gaze was a mix of lust and death glares, the last one directed to Hyunjae. "Told you it would work", he comments, "You owe me this one". "Shut the fuck up, Hyunjae", you spit back and he laughs.

However, his laughter is cut short by a very jealous Juyeon, who has grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Next time I see you dance with Y/N, I'll break your fucking kneecaps", he growls and Hyunjae takes a step back, "She's all yours, bro", he raises his hands in defense and returns to the table. Juyeon then turns to you, his blood still boiling with jealousy, as you watch him with a proud smirk.

"You find this funny, huh? Dancing shamelessly with my friend?", he clenches his jaw. You then thread a finger through his choker and pull him close to your face, making Juyeon gasp. "Funny? No honey, I'm fucking fuming right now, because you decided to act like a brat and put your hands on the first bitch that threw herself on you", you retaliate, your chill facade slipping away. A sickly sweet smile adorns Juyeon's face as he watches every single movement of yours. He lowers his head, his lips hanging mere centimeters over yours and he slyly pokes out his tongue to lick your lips, hissing at the wet feeling.

"You're so fucking hot when you're mad, baby".

That was the last straw.

"Get your stuff, we're going home", you announce and he flashes a toothy grin. "Yes ma'am", he replies almost immediately and you return to your friends' table. "Guys, we'll be leaving now, hope you enjoy the rest of the night!" you announce and Eric looks between Juyeon and you. "Do I want to know what's going on?", he questions and Kevin pats him on the back while shaking his head as in 'no'. You both bid farewell to your friends and you walk out of the club, jogging towards your car. Juyeon whips out the cars keys and he opens the door for you, his gentleman-like gesture a complete contrast to his previous bratty behaviour.

The ride back home feels like it lasted for hours, when in reality, it lasted only ten minutes - maybe it's your sheer desire to fuck your handsome boyfriend to oblivion. By the time you entered your shared apartment, your lips were on Juyeon's neck, your hands roaming his toned body and his arms wrapped around your waist.

"You love acting like a bratty slut, don't you?", you sneer at him and he releases a breathy chuckle. "Yeah, and so do you", he whispers and he trails kisses upon your neck and behind your ear, nibbling your earlobe. "Are you going to punish me for being a bratty slut?".

You thought you came right there and then, 'cause fuck, he is so hot like this.

"Is that what you want? Fine then, you'll get the punishment you deserve, slut", you hiss while gripping Juyeon's jaw, your manicured nails raking his porcelain skin, "Don't say I didn't warn you", you whisper into his ear and he releases one of the lewdest sounds you've ever heard in your life. "God, you're a desperate little bitch, aren't you, Lee Juyeon?", you ask while removing the detachable strap of your bag and clasp it on his choker, creating a make-shift leash. "Only for you, baby", he replies with a sultry voice and half-lidded eyes.

You pull him by the make-shift leash, and you push him onto the couch, where you settle yourself on his lap, his hard cock straining his already tight pants. You remove his shirt, exposing his chiseled body. Wasting no time, you attack his collarbones with your lips, trailing red and purple blotches on his soft skin. You bite the juncture of his neck teasingly and he releases breathy moans, making you chuckle. You grind your clothed core on his bulge, and the sweet friction makes Juyeon mewl again. He tries to reach for your crotch with his hand, but you stop him by pulling the leash, making him gasp.

"No sweetheart, no touching tonight", you chastise him, as you pull back to remove your clothes and his pants, leaving the both of you only in your underwear. Juyeon's bulge is even more evident now, the thin material of his boxers having a wet spot, due to his cock leaking pre-cum. The sight in front of you makes your own wetness pool in your panties - your boyfriend on a leash, his perfectly styled hair now disheveled, his upper torso covered in love bites, his muscular thighs fully spread and his cock straining against his boxers.

"Baby, fuck, please do something", he pleads with bleary eyes. "Lie down for me", you order and he's laid flat on his back with one swift motion, his desperation showing. You remove your underwear and place your naked pussy right in front of his face. He reaches for your thighs with his arms, but you slap them away. "I said, no touching", you say sternly, "But-", "You should have thought twice before touching that bitch with your hands. Now, be a good boy and use your pretty mouth", you demand.

Juyeon pushes his wet tongue into your heat without second thought and he's lapping up your juices like a starved man. You can't help but moan with satisfaction, having him under your control like that gave you a huge adrenaline rush. You raked your nails from his torso to the hem of his boxers, the sensation making him moan and momentarily halt his actions. You slap his left thigh to alert him and his cock twitches, the vibrations of his moans coursing through your body as well. Juyeon now flattens his tongue against your folds with a faster tempo.

"You like it when I spank you, huh? Naughty boy", you smirk and land another slap, this time on his right thigh. Juyeon retaliates by sucking on your clit harshly, making you yelp from pleasure and you feel him smirk against your pussy. You find the leash and tug it, pulling Juyeon's face even closer to your core. "Behave, or you'll sleep without cumming tonight", you warn him and he whines, but resumes his efforts nonetheless. "Good boy, k-keep it u-up", you stutter as you feel your high approach with each passing second. His tongue is alternating between circling your clit and pumping in and out of your hole, the squelching sounds creating a pornographic scene.

You scream as you cum on Juyeon's face, your whole body shaking, as he helps you ride out your orgasm with kitten licks. You pull yourself together and turn around to face him, as he nastily licks his lips to taste your essence. "Sweet like fucking candy", he comments, "Want a taste, baby?". You pull him by the leash and crash your lips on his, tasting yourself, as your tongues dance crazily in a battle of dominance. "You're still acting like a brat, but since you did as I said, maybe you deserve to cum after all", you state and bend down to remove his boxers and free his painfully hard erection.

"Y/N, stop fucking teasing already!", Juyeon whines again and you slap his thigh again, "Where did your manners go, baby?".

"Please, Y/N..."

"Please what?"

"Please use my cock to cum"

"Fuck, such a good boy", you moan and spear yourself onto his hard cock, the sudden stretch tipping between pain and pleasure. You give yourself almost no time to adjust and you start riding Juyeon like a mad woman. He pistons his hips in unison, pounding into you with a speed neither of your brains are able to register. You put your hands on his broad chest for support and he holds your hips with his hands so tight you might get bruises the next day. Neither of you are able to contain your obscene moans nor form coherent sentences, way too lost in pleasure and lust.

"Fuck, Juyeon, you're such a good boy, so good for me", "Only for you Y/N, shit- only yours", he groans and his hips start to falter, signaling his upcoming orgasm. "I-I'm close again, nngh..", you mewl as you feel your insides clench around his cock like a vice. "M-Me too, Y/N please let me cum, let me f-fill you up baby", "Oh God, yes, fill me with your cum, babe", you moan loudly.

Juyeon moans with you as he stills himself, his cock twitching uncontrollably and flooding your cunt with his hot cum, painting your insides white. You collapse on top of him, panting heavily, the both of you sweating and spent, laughing breathlessly. You muster all the strength you have left in you to remove the choker from Juyeon's neck.

"Oof, thank you baby", he nods, rubbing his neck softly. You swipe a few dark strands of his forehead. You notice the marks on his neck the choker left and you can't help but feel a little regretful. "Did I hurt you?", you ask sheepishly and Juyeon smiles softly and presses a kiss on your nose. "No baby, you were perfect. We should do this more often, actually. You look hella sexy when you take control", he teases and you playfully smack his chest.

"So you intend to dance with random girls in clubs?", you ask and Juyeon smirks,

"No, but I intend to be not such a good boy for you".

#juyeon smut #tbz juyeon #lee juyeon #the boyz smut #the boyz fanfics #tbz #would you look at that #another juyeon fanfic

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

Note

Heyyy!!! Here we are once again hdhdjjdjs

I still havent decided how I'm going to start this asks. I will come up with something ;)

Ok, so as I am catching up with school, writing, some books, etc, I will try to really keep this asks short and just put here the main points that have me dying of each chapter😂

Quick point: Please asume that every scene have me dying one way or another, because TLND IS FINALLY HERE AND I AM READY TO GET HURT!! Ok, now on other points:

Izzy and Alec are just amazing brotp 😎

Smoking Alec trope here we come again jehdkdjd

Also I'm so happy for them but at the same time I think their decisions on what to study were influenced A LOT by their parents

I had many fashbacks of Alec in CoB and CoA😭

They all do. It's how they were brought up - the Lightwood kids. They were not just children with dreams. They were children with plans. Children with goals. This made me emo for some reason 🥺

My boy being so in love with Magnus and repeating he is beautiful and fascinating jdhsksbdkd

I feel I need to personally thank you for making Alec swear in this fic 😌

"Alec is someone who is used to hiding. So, he knows. He knows exactly where to look." There is something so personal of this part....

ALSO FUCK SHINYUN JUNG. LEAVE MAGNUS ALONE!!!

Part two: I forgot for a sec that Max and Rafael are kids in this time but they are so cute and🥺💙

Rafael declining Shinyun's help!! He has good sense😌😌

I was waiting for my father to pick me up at the bus station when I read "Alec making Max hug Shinyun" part and omg everyone turned to me when I laughed😂😂

"Edom is not a brand. It’s an empire" I will also hate this stupid catchphrase.... And Asmodeus being a bitch again?? Why am I not surprised??

I get where Magnus is coming from, but I dont even know what happened and I already know this is a bad idea!!!!

“Ask Rafael and Max when they grow up.” that was actually so sad but also the way they all carry something to protect themselves. Shit.

And Alec is going to do something about it and we love him for that💙😎

That last part omg... I read to it while I was listening to "right were you left me" and my feeling were compromised ok??!?!

The Gala omg... On honor of my Max Lightwood😭

I feel Elyass will be the real MVP here

Every little silly time Alec remembers that they are not married leaves me a little silly wound :)

I kinda like those tours💙

Jia is the only godness I will ever swear loyalty to

I didnt expect to start the Magnus-and-Shinyun-dating-problem so early but I guess the devil doesn't wait for nobody dhusjdkd. I will just repeat what Max said: FUCK SHINYUN

I'm excited to read about Rafe feels in all of these

On another note, I NEED to know how does Magnus feels about Max knowing how to shot. ITS FOR RESEARCH AND ANGST PURPOSES

“Thoughts?” Alec asks.

“And prayers,” Max says gravely.

Preach man 😌

Max stares at the target and shoots again. The bullet pierces right through the center of the target’s head.

Then he grins at Alec – slow and lazy.

“Fuck Shinyun.”

I'M GOING TO LOVE SEEING MAX HERE

Anyway, I need to get to class, but I liked it so much and I'm so in for this wild ride💙💙💙

Get some rest and I'm sending you the best vibes bc I have so many today!!!

Byeee!!!

NOAH. AH. I MISSED YOUR REACTIONS. ILY. 💙💙

Literally that's all I have to say.

Also definitely getting a mug that says "the devil waits for nobody" so thanks for that.

I'm sending you a lot of vibes to get through today too, HOW IS IT ONLY WEDNESDAY?

#divorce au #noah boo thang

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all-that-tmnt-jazz · 3 years

Note

May i have a match up please? 5'6 and 190 pounds of pure SASS I'm a transmasc nonbinary

My family is unsupportive and abusive (except for my younger sister) but at this point if i don't do something to spite them my day is not complete

I sit somewhere between night owl and permanently exhausted pigeon

Resting bitch face

My emo phase didn't go away it evolved (now with pastels)

I love to play horror games but i spend all my time heckling the game (or if it's multi player) that and laughing at the people who inevitably get scared

I also love games that let you have a farm that's all i do in those games

I am really light headed all the time so i will unconsciously lean against things be it object or person

I can smell electricity i don't know why and you properly won't believe me when i tell you for the first few times something is about to pop because the electricity smells bad

I will tell you how something makes me feel i kind of have to because i rarely can show emotion physically i am literally just blank stare and monotone voice nearly 24/7

My memory is either picture perfect or i don't remember it at all no in-betweens

I'm a lot stronger faster agile flexible ect than most people assume me to be

I know a lot about animals but especially insects arachnids and reptiles (i watch a LOT of nature documentaries)

I own an ungodly amount of plushies and pillows my reason? I love to pile them on top of me i like the pressure it provides i also will were clothing thats a size or two to small over normal fitting clothes for the same reason

I am not scared to bite someone in self defense

I have nightmares nightly they rarely scare me it's just the nature of the dreams would make you consider them nightmares

Of course, you have a match up, Friend! :)

Warnings: Swearing

Incarnation: Bayverse

Extra Info: I could see you being friends with Mikey

I match you with…

Raph!

You actually bit him the first time you met because you thought he was going to hurt you

He immediately gained respect for you

When he hears your family isn’t supportive, he swears he will knock down buildings and kick people’s asses

He even argues with April when she wrongly assumes your AGAB instead of asking you first

(he is violently supportive since your family lacks, though he wants to meet and thank your sister)

Honestly? Spiting his family- namely Leo- is his favorite pastime

He’s a night owl, so he will often stay up with you

Though, always expect to wake up long before he does

Fucking loves horror games

He finds it really interestingly weird that you can smell the changes in electricity

(he often suggests you go help Donnie sometimes to make sure he’s keeping his lab safe)

He always wraps an arm around you when you lean against him

Onlookers just think he’s being a bit affectionate

But in reality?

He’s holding you up and making sure you don’t collapse

He never really got into nature documentaries, but murder-mystery ones are right up his alley

(think “Unsolved Mysteries”)

He is like his brothers in the sense that he is incredibly touch starved, so he will often hug you in his sleep

This will also help with your want/need for pressure

But when he can’t sleep with you, he asks to borrow a plush or ten

(he hides them from Mikey Lol)

He makes sure to help you if you’re forgetting something

Same thing for him, with the being “faster/more agile/more flexible than people think, due to ninjutsu

But he is just as strong as he looks

He’s actually scared of his nightmares, and he is genuinely shocked at how unfazed you are at your own

He’s the opposite when it comes to showing his emotions- he does things, physically

He takes you out with him when he goes around the city via rooftops; he finds it a bit hard to open up

But you… You do make him start talking

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtle imagine #tmnt headcanons #tmnt headcanons sfw #tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader sfw #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raph #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt bayverse

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hikarinon · 4 years

Text

“I don’t think you understand how scared I am of losing you”

━━━━━━。

Haikyuu!! fanfiction // Bokuto Koutarou

summary: being unable to love yourself, the idea of being the villain in his story sounded so .... right .

But turns out your boyfriend knows his plot better than you do.

pairings: Bokuto Koutaro x reader

warnings: fluff, self-degradation, angst, swearing, slight nsfw

song: The Truth Untold - BTS

//Sometimes doing the right thing feels so wrong//

“You deserve someone better, Kou.” your mouth twitched into an eventual smile. A lump passing through your throat, seeking a way out through your eyes. His brows drew together “Huh? Baby I don’t get it, what are yo-” your lips tenderly press themself against his forehead. His face altered back into his usual happy go lucky expression.

His smile.

You didn’t want to leave without him wearing it.

You turned around, just to be halted by a familiar warm hand. “You’re not going to wait till I’m done practice?”. No Bokuto, I’m not you bit your lower lips, bruising them from the inside, yet not breaking the smile.

“Be happy, Kou” and with that, you left. Leaving an oblivious Bokuto on the steps of the gym, constantly being called back in by the coach.

Sometimes doing the right thing feels so wrong.

Bloomed in a garden of loneliness

A flower that resembles you

You took in a sharp breath as you closed the door behind you. You’re not worth it he was always there for you, never one text left on read, never one call being declined. You’ll never make him happy whereas you have never even given half of the love he gave you.

Why are you so dramatic. It’s just a break up. Wouldn’t it be rational for you to let go of someone who you know would never be happy with you, someone like you. Your eyes studied the photo placed on top of your desk.

‘How did I even make him smile that wide’

You’ll never love anyone if you stay like this

The same sentence kept repeating your mind ever since, ever since that day.

‘god, that’s his type?’

‘you’re not even that nice’

‘they are totally one sided, I can tell’

‘he’ll break up with you eventually’

Why do people find happiness in degrading others. And why is it so easy for you to believe in them. So easy that you ended up turning them into the truth. Atleast I’m honest, right?

*ringringring*

The picture of him blasting on your phone screen. The urge to press the green button and act like nothing happened sounded so sweet, so simple to do.

Cancelled

‘ 21 missed calls ’

I wanted to give it to you

After I take off this foolish mask

Tears welling up your eyes. It’s for the best, you thought. It doesn’t matter whether you cry or not. As long as he doesn’t.

Your heart clenched way too hard when you saw his text saying ‘baby? We should talk, yeah?’ ‘or if your tired we’ll talk later okay, goodnight babe~’

‘ I love you ’

Ahhh, so this is pain

The only thing you want right now is, no it’s not his cuddles, no not his kisses, no not him. All you want is for him to be happy. And from your own conviction, without you.

The heart does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.

But you had no idea how badly he wanted your name to light up on his phone screen that night.

Swollen eyes can easily be fixed with concealer, some powder, and a sweet smile. Prom night is just two days away. Better get your shit back together. Well it’s not like you’re gonna go with a date anyway, you scoffed

“Hey, tell us. Asap” one of your friends asked. Of course she could see through the make up. “You did it, huh?” the other one spoke up, “We’re not gonna judge you y/n, it’s your decision.” the memory of them telling you that it was a stupid idea passing back through your mind.haha

Then they wrapped their arms around yours, so it looks like you’re entangled together with you in the middle. “Just remember that we love you, okay bitch?”

You couldn’t help but smile delightedly, “Thankyou” you continued, “God I love you guys so much I might just ask yall to be my prom date” the one on the left chirped brightly “Don’t speak to soon love. Look” her head bobbed to the front.

And there it is, Bokuto Kotarou, circling around the school gate, bag held by his hair, just like usual.

“Y/n baby!” your friends parted to give you some privacy, pouring their hope upon you. You both, that is.

Your face crumbled as you saw them leaving you. What are you gonna say now? He pulled you by the wrist, gently. For a guy like him, this just goes to show how tender he treats you, like you’re the most the most precious thing that exists in his whole entire world.

“What were you saying yesterday babe?” his beamed smile, the smile that always makes your day, “HAHAHA it almost sounded like you were breaking up with me LMAOO-” and here you are, destroying it.

But I know

I can't do that forever

“Yeah, Bokuto, we should. Actually we already have.” It took a few seconds for him to process your sentence, then his mouth fell open. Yes, give him your ironical smile, make him hate you. “ I told you didn’t I? be happy.”

This is bad. You’re breathing too hard. He stared at you wide eyed, head shaking no no no. You cocked your head upwards to meet his face, expecting him to cry or whine like he always does.

But no, he was serious, seriously hurt. His brows furrowed together, mouth slightly gaping, his eyes were swirling with mixed up emotions and disbelief. Poor bokuto couldn’t decide whether he was sad, confused, mad, annoyed, or dejected. But one things for sure, he wasn’t happy.

“ I can’t do that without you, y/n.”

Don’t smile to me

Lie to me

For an airhead, he’s pretty good with words, you thought. Or maybe you’re just wrapped around his fingers that simple.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto.” was the only thing you said.

and again, you left him. No explanation, just a simple ‘ I’m sorry ’ to end the day

Schools done, proms tomorrow, you’re pathetic. You took another sip of your bobba tea. The cashier even asked where was your boyfriend. Yeah where is he, maybe he finally realized that you were right, that he’d be happier with someone else besides you. But god knows just how much you begged for him to magically appear in front of you, sitting on his usual chair, jubilantly sipping on his drink.

Your heart stopped when you saw a hand putting down a drink. Hope immediately lost when you saw that it was not his usual drink, it was someone else’s.

“Hey, Akaashi”

He didn’t reply fast, it took a few seconds of his judgemental stare down till he started “At first I thought you were too smart for him y/n. turns out you’re two peas in a pod.” his face was stern, but you could feel the genuine disappointment from the way he looked you in the eyes. He took a sip of his drink then continued with his speech, “Why would you do that, y/n?”

“That’s none of your business, I believe.”

“I believe it is y/n, you know tha-”

“FINE, he deserves better, that’s why.”

“Who gives a single fuck on who he deserves if the only one he wants is you.”

I have to hide

Because I'm a monster

You breath hitched. The urge to cry choking you again. You were speechless. Akaashi was tired. His best friend’s emotion infected him and there was no turning back. He stood up, grabbed his bag and placed one hand of sympathy on your left shoulder.

“This might make you feel worse but I don’t care, I want you to. He ugly cried the whole day in the infirmary, just. so. you. know.”

Finally, prom night came. It says 6:30 pm, you still had half an hour to get ready before Bokuto comes so better hurry uOh wait “hahahaha funny, brain.” you fixated yourself on the mirror. You were suppose to wear this with him tonight. No, it would just be a coincidence of two people wearing the same color. That doesn’t sound so bad.

And with that you took off. The fear of meeting him will always be there, but running away from prom won’t be too much of a fun decision would it? The moment you arrived, you found your way with your friends. They instantly shoved a drink into your hand with the most radiant of faces.

“CHEERS”

Where was Bokuto you asked? He, is sitting on the bench area surrounded by other popular folks. “Hey sweetie, let’s have some fu-” he shoved his untouched cup of punch in front of the girl “Here. Fun.”

he proceeded to focus on the entrance, waiting for you to arrive with the dress that matched with his tie. And yes, finally. There you are, drinking, cheering, you looked happy. ‘would’ve looked better if I was beside her though’ he thought. With his most confident face, he stood up, only to be held on the wrist by Akaashi,

“What do you think you’re doing.”

His eyes rolled up glancing at the ceiling, as if he was contemplating on a stupid mission. then with playful smile he looked back down at Akaashi

“I’m just gonna go there and tell her she’s beautiful, that’s all” He enlightened him with his signature smirk.

His best friend smiled with proud ‘I guess he’s not that dumb after all’ , “Good luck, Bokuto-san”

The walk towards you, a mere eight meter distance walk felt like eternity. But with his triumph face, he kept his sail high. Letting the winds of miss and hope push him further. He knew nothing of what’s needed to do. All he knows is that you’re beautiful, and he wasn’t going to let the night end without letting you know.

If I had the courage to stand before you

Would everything be different now

You, laughing, glanced at him from the corner of your eyes, and you smiled, forgetting that you were over. God, how he missed that smile. “hey KouEH I-I mean Bokuto…” your voice stammered as you finally remembered. He on the other hand didn’t even notice. His head was stuck between doing the former plan, or just forcibly shove his tongue right down your throat.

“what’s up, Bo-”

“I-I uhm…” he lost it. He lost his cool. One more slip and he’ll go emo mode.

“Oh sure I’ll dance with you!” you pulled him to dance floor. What am I doing you couldn’t look at him despite the way you’re foolishly smiling like an idiot. The moment you found yourself standing beneath the crowds, you pulled him into a dancing position, shyly, knowing your past remarks

“What were you going to say?”

“Why did you do that, y/n?” Him not calling you pet names still felt foreign

“I thought you wanted to say someth-”

“No, I meant why did you think I deserve someone else”

I'm crying

That’s disappeared

That’s fallen

No, Kou I don’t want you to cry his eyes were fighting back the tears. You could see the way he bit his lower lips as his brows shakily drew together. Your grip on his shoulder tightened. You never wanted this to happen. You did this to make him happy, not to make him…. broken like this.

“i- you should be happy, Kou. You won’t be with me.”

“I would. I am. I will. P-please I’ll do anything” he pleaded with everything he had, still struggling not to cause a commotion. He’s so perfect. But no, you’re not.

“I’m not worth the pain, Kou I-”

“THAT’S FOR ME TO DECIDE Y/N-” he brutally pulled you by the waist, smashing you onto his strong chest, face just seconds to meeting as his eyes burned into yours.

“-NOT YOU!”

He was mad.

His warm breath against your skin felt so right, making you unable to notice just how all eyes were stuck on both of you. Your eyes suddenly felt blurry.

Left alone in this sandcastle

Looking at this broken mask

The moment he saw tears falling down your cheeks, his whole expression dropped. You, still unsteady, still unable to realize how he was gently hugging you by the waist and bare shoulder, bringing you out of the gym. He immediately pulled you into an empty classroom, closing the door shut. His strong arms lifting you up to sit on top of a desk, so that he could even up your height with his, nose to nose

“Baby, baby, please stop crying. You know I’ll cry too if you do.” his sweet fingers, always so sweet just for you. Wiping out every tears that escaped your eyes. “I’m so sorry I yelled back there. Talk to me sweetheart, let’s work this out.”

You’re making things so hard for me, Kou

“I’m a pain in the ass, Kou that’s what I am. You’re… you’re just to good for me. I’m so scared of losing you, of you leaving me because of this, because I can’t fucking love my damn self.” you sniffled,

And I still want you

“T-That’s why I thought I should take up the part y’know? Be the villain in this story. Leave you in the hopes of you getting a better fairytale than I have to offer.”

“Baby, I don’t think you understand how scared I am of losing you.” he whispered against your forehead as he showered you with kisses all over you sad expression, hoping for it to disappear. “Sto-stop being like this, Kou.” more waves of tears just came barging through as you felt his wet lips finding themselves behind your ears whispering ‘I love you’ s over and over again. “I’m stupid, I’m dumb, I’m not worth it, I’m not worth the fight, I’m so annoying, I overreact to much.” your voice hiccuped between each sentence, practically wheezing for air, “B-but….”

“But?” Those eyes, those hopeful puppy eyes. Always showing up on the wrong, yet most perfect time. Unaware on how it shows just how he finally won you over. Again.

You smiled.

Ahhh I give up

“B-but I still want you”

It came out like a pleading whisper. Finally escaping from your heart. Warm his lips tenderly, lovingly pressing themselves on yours, ecstasy filling your stomach as his hands supported the back of your head the moment he went further inside of you.

It felt like a bomb. The explosion of everything you held in you, released as his tongue put dominance on yours. After a few minutes, he finally released.

He pecked your lips softly, then proceeded to press his forehead against yours, looking right into your glazing eyes, drowning them in his

“Then that’s all I needed to hear.”

And I still want you.

p.s you don’t need anyone, not even Bokuto, for you to know that you are worth it, you are amazing, and you are loved. -self love

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dontcallmebabyxx · 3 years

Text

Chapter 1: English Boy

Sage's POV:

7:00am and the alarm went off. It's been 3 days of this new lifestyle I'm trying to live and I'm actually enjoying the extra time I have in the mornings, given the fact I used to wake up somewhere around 11am, but hey! Adulting and productivity at it's finest, or so I like to believe.

I recently moved to L.A to pursue that dreamy fresh start every 20-something year old dreams of. After just a few days here, I found a job in a little coffee shop and have been working there since, it's really cool actually, the place is amazing, the staff is nice and I'm a whore for coffee so it's a win-win situation.

Getting out of bed after checking my phone for any notifications that I might have missed in my sleep, but all I got were a bunch of messages from my sister having a crisis after finishing the last episode of The Vampire Diaries, and I mean... I get her.

I'm really taking this whole new and improved lifestyle very seriously, I'm meditating and everything, even lighting some incense here and there to get the whole scene and mood going.

After my whole yogi moment I went to the bathroom and started getting ready for work. I stared at myself in the mirror and said my daily affirmations: "I'm smart, I'm capable, I'm a bad bitch, I'm worth it, and I'm loved" I tell myself pushing back the memories as I say that last part. Today is going to be a good day because I have an early shift so that means I get to work with my sister, who was the one that got me the job in the first place.

I am pretty basic when it comes to clothes and always prioritize comfort over looks, unless I go out. Only then and there will I risk my wellbeing and wear high heels and tiny ass dresses to remind myself that I can also be THAT bitch. On the day to day I'm pretty basic. I really like warm colors so most of my closet is based around that color scheme.

I made my way (downtown) in this chaotic ass, traffic-filled city that I love very much, hating myself for even thinking about A Thousand Miles as I drive myself to work and officially start my day.

After saying hi to the staff and starting getting everything ready, Sydney arrives.

"I'm sorry! I overslept" Syd said as she rushed behind the counter to the back of the shop and got ready for her shift.

"Chill, it's still pretty early. You still have 20 minutes and I already got everything set up" I reassured her.

"You're an angel, thanks" she said, coming behind me and hugging me.

A few hours into the shift I started cleaning some tables and saw a group of people coming in. And as I was about to greet them, I heard a familiar voice.

"Sage?" I looked at her and recognized her immediately.

"Holy shit Sarah!" I said smiling and hugging her, she hugged me back and introduced me to her friends.

"Guys, this is Sage. We were neighbors back in London". "This is Charlotte" she said and Charlotte greeted me with a hug

"So nice to meet you" She said with a big smile on her face.

"You too!" I said, smiling back.

"And this is Ny", Sarah said gesturing towards her

"Hi!" She said and we hugged too.

We walked to the counter and I took their order.

"Sydney? Since when do you two live here?" Sarah said as soon as she saw my sister.

"We moved here with my dad a few months ago, mom stayed back in London though" Sydney explained smiling at her.

As I gave them their order, Sarah said "we should get together, catch up and drink some wine like our moms did when we were little, it's our time to have those kinds of nights" Us three laughed remembering those days and how close our moms are. "The girls and the rest of the group are coming over to my house tomorrow for dinner and you two are coming" she gave me a stern look knowing that I'm not one to be around many people.

"Fine, we'll be there" Syd and I agreed, exchanging phone numbers with Sarah and getting back to work.

*The next day*

It was nearly 4:00 pm when I left work after my shift ended. Sarah's dinner started at 9:00 but she texted me earlier telling me to be there at 7:00 so we could have some time to catch up just the two of us.

I got home and decided to call my mom to tell her about yesterday.

"Hi mom" I greeted her as she answered the FaceTime call.

"Hi sweetie, how was your day? I'm sorry I couldn't call you back yesterday, the girls came over and we had a wine night" she said laughing.

"It's fine mom, don't worry" I reassured her, "Speaking of wine nights, I ran into Sarah yesterday at the cafe.

"Sarah Jones? Wow, you two hadn't seen each other since she moved! How is she?".

"She's great. I'm going to her house today to catch up and meet some of her friends" I told her.

"I heard from her mom that she's drumming for this English boy, maybe you know him!" She said

"Wouldn't know mom, I just recently started following her social media and haven't had the time to stalk her" I said laughing and she joined me.

We talked just for a little while given the time zone, then said our goodbyes because it was getting late and I had to start getting ready. I headed to my bathroom and began undressing as I put on some music. I chose one of my favorite playlists called "Middle School Me" which is basically my indie-emo-punk phase and I love it.

*Something Good Can Work* started playing and I can't help but move to the little beat as I entered the shower. I did the usual and washed my hair so it's easier to style later.

I finished my shower, wrapping myself in a towel and wrapping my hair on an old cotton t-shirt because I learned from a youtube blogger that that's the best way to prevent frizz, and I hope and pray it works because I've been bleaching my hair and it's coming to bite me in the ass now.

I moisturized and opened my closet deciding on what to wear, and after trying on my top 3 choices, I went for a black dress because you can NEVER go wrong with a black dress, and dressed it down a bit with some black boots and a oversized denim jacket that I stole from one of Sydney's ex.

I like wearing short sleeves because you can see my tattoos, which I love and adore with all my heart.

I got my keys, checked my phone to see if Sarah sent me the address already which she did, double checked that I had everything I needed in my purse and headed to the door. I got in my car and continued listening to my playlist and laughed as Avril Lavigne started playing and I sang along as I made my way to Sarah's house.

I arrived with 10 minutes to spear and rang the bell. Sarah opened the door and gave me a tight hug which I gladly accepted and hugged her as well. "Holy shit, you look great! Come in" she said, giving me space to walk through the door and into her house. She took my purse and my jacket and handed me a glass of wine which I took and thanked her for. "Where's Sydney?" She asked, seeing that I came by myself.

"She has a test on Monday so she stayed home".

"Oh yeah, you live with your dad right?" She asked, sitting down on the couch and I took a seat next to her.

"No, just Syd. I have my own place, it's not that far from here actually" I explained.

"That means you're hosting the next wine night" she said, making me laugh.

After a little catching up I remembered what my mom told me and ask Sarah,

"So, my mom told me you're some English boy's new drummer" I told her, bringing the wine glass to my lips to take a sip.

She laughed out loud "some 'English boy', oh my god that is amazing. But yes, I actually just came back from touring with him. Ny and Charlotte are also in the band and the guys you'll meet today too" she said.

"Oh, and am I meeting the English boy today as well?" I ask grinning.

"Yes, but I'm not telling you who he is, I want to see you shitting your pants when you meet him".

"Is it Tom Misch? Because if it is I will actually shit myself".

"I guess you'll have to see when he arrives" she laughed and I told her that's no fun.

It was now 9-ish and people started arriving. The first one to arrive is Mitch, who I greeted and hugged as Sarah introduced us. And I swear I could feel a type of vibe going on between them but I decided to push aside and interrogate Sarah about it another time. Then Ny and Charlotte arrived and when they saw me they approached happily to greet me which I appreciated because I was starting to get anxious about meeting all these new people.

"I was telling Sage about how we are the band for this 'English boy' as she called him" Sarah air quoted telling them as they sat on the couch and some chairs around the coffee table.

"English boy? yes, I guess you could say so" Mitch said, laughing.

"Hey! it was my mom who called him that in the first place" I said smiling while pouring Ny a glass of wine.

We continued talking about random topics, I told them a little bit about myself, and they did the same. I stood up and went to the bathroom, and as I was walking out the door I bumped into somebody.

"Omg I'm sorry, I wasn't looki-" I stared up at him and holy shit! It's Harry Styles.

"Don't worry about it. It's fine." he said "I'm the English boy, you must be Sage". He said, stretching out his hand to greet me

"Yes. Nice to meet you English boy." I said, stretching out my hand to shake his, blushing at the fact Sarah already told him but not surprised at all that she did.

"Well, if you excuse me I have to take a wee" he said, laughing and I moved to let him go into the bathroom. I walked to the kitchen and saw Sarah there.

"What the actual fuck Sarah Jones?! English boy is THE Harry Styles?" I said shocked to which she laughed.

"He is. I figured you wouldn't know because I know you, and I can tell you don't follow him like you do to others, but I told you you would shit your pants because I know deep down there, directioner Sage still exists" She said, eating a grape out of the charcuterie board she's preparing.

"Ok first of all, I was NOT a directioner. I liked a couple songs and that's it" I joked, trying to minimize it. "And if I had to choose one I'd go with Zayn" I told her, rolling my eyes jokingly. "But still, wow. I really don't follow him or his solo music really, but this is huge Sarah! I'm so happy for you" I told her, feeling genuinely happy for her.

"Yes, we have a great team. I'm giving you a copy of the album because I know you haven't properly listened to it" She said. Which is true. I only listened to Only Angel once on the radio, and it's actually a great song, it was stuck in my head for like a week. I might give this album a chance and crank it in my apartment.

We headed to the living room and Harry followed behind as soon as he exited the bathroom. He got behind me near my ear and said, "Sarah told me you're not a fan, I gotta say it really hurts my ego but I might push it behind and turn you into a fan".

"Oh, really?" I said, raising an eyebrow and turning to him.

"Well, whether or not you become a fan it's up to you, but I would like to get to know you and you to know me, the actual me I mean" he said, sitting next to me.

"We'll see about that" I told him as I brought the wine glass to my lips. I wondered if this thing actually looked hot like in the movies or if I just looked like an idiot.

We continued talking and laughing as Sarah told stories about our teen years and all the stupid shit we did.

"And that's how Sage broke her arm on a date" she finished the embarrassing ass story which I wished she had forgotten, but how could she... she was the one that came to my rescue when I fell down the window trying to sneak out the boys house when his parents got there. We definitely lived the best teen years together, I really missed her and I'm glad we met again.

Around 2:00 am I decided it was time to head back home,

"Guys it was lovely meeting all of you and I'm sure we'll hang out again soon but I really need to go" I said standing up.

"Oh come on Sage!" Charlotte complained laughing, "it's still pretty early".

"I know but I have an early shift tomorrow so I should get going" I grabbed my jacket and my purse and started to make my way around saying goodbye to everyone, thanking that I only had one glass of wine because I wouldn't be able to drive otherwise.

As I got to Harry he smiled as he hugged me "Maybe I'll come visit you tomorrow at work. Ny says your apple pie is out of this world" he said.

"If I may say so myself, it's pretty fucking awesome" I said laughing.

"Bye Sarah" I said, hugging her and walking to my car.

I arrived, got ready for bed, and stared at the ceiling until I managed to push behind all the dark thoughts and memories that haunt me daily, and finally fell asleep.

#harry styles story #harry styles fic #harry styles au #fanfic #romance #teen romance #one direction fanfiction #kennedy claire walsh #lucy boynton

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crazymecjc · 5 years

Conversation

Quotes from Mary Poppins

So I was in Mary Poppins this summer and it was the best show I've ever done, it was also one of the funniest backstage experiences I've ever had so here's some quotes from rehearsals :)

I'm referring to everyone by their character names except if they're my friends yeet

My friend Miranda, staring me dead in the eyes: “Cannibalism."

Both of us simultaneously: "hmmmm”

Miranda, frantically: “Do you want some.... boNeLesS AiR”

(She then proceeded to research if boneless air was a thing for like ten minutes)

Me, angrily: “buT wE hAvEnt had our mILK”

Honestly idk who this was: “What is in your boob?”

(Context: we were all volunteering at a meat raffle, which I didn't know was a thing before then but ok)

The guy in charge of the raffle: “If you’re selling tickets, stand up”

*everyone simultaneously drops to the floor*

Guy running the raffle: “Hors d’oeuvres is not a person”

The same guy, a half hour later: “I’m not trusting you, because you said hors d’oeuvres were a country”

The radio:“I’m looking for some way to bond with my kids” Miranda, whispering: “Mr. Banks?”

My friend Anthony:“That’s like the worst way to reduce reuse recycle”

Miranda during rehearsal for Step in Time, pretending to be on Disney Channel:“Hi, I’m a low class citizen, and the only time I see the light of day is at night”

Anthony, sinisterly:“We’re all dead bodies in the end”

Anthony, in the car: “Smells like... g g g g g g g g g g ggrravy”

Miranda:“buT THEY TORE MY spinal cord.... aGAIN!?!?!”

Anthony, walking out of rehearsal:“It smells like a hot dog out here”

Me:“mE”

Anthony, incredulous:“you smell like a hotdog?!?”

Also Anthony:“My uvula is quook”

My friend Maddie, who we all call Marcy bc that was her "character" for the show and it stuck:“Why do you guys know what windex smells like??? Hello???”

Miss Andrew: “You don’t smell windex? What’s wrong with you???”

Anthony, in the car, shouting:“sTEP AWAY FROM THE GOODS”

Anthony, discussing Into the Woods:“I feel like Little Red is sort of like Smeagol”

Me: “There’s a whole family standing in the middle of the road??”

Anthony:“Are they ok?” Me:"They’re not even crossing, they’re just chilling.”

Anthony to me, while in the fake plant section at the craft store: “It’s like you’re trying to get into leaf Narnia”

Miranda to me: “You look like the Kool Aid Man”

Anthony, to me:“Go onto stage like ‘OoOh yEaH”

Anthony, to the tune of one of he songs:“Reeeedd Robin, Yum!”

Miranda, dramatically crossing her legs:“I’m a fucking queen” *mouth pops*

Miranda calling after me on my way out the door:“Wait I’ve gotta tell you a secret “ *whispers in one ear* “the snack that smiles back” * in other ear* “goldfish”

Me, singing:“Someone is returning”

Miranda:“the demons in my house when I’m coming home”

Miranda, in a whisper:“Mary and Bert look like they’re gonna fight”

Anthony, in the car: “No one is alone.. that’s kinda scary”

Anthony:“When I was young, I ate people”

Miranda:“crispy”

Miranda, in the car after a long rehearsal, exhausted:“Can we play some tunes? I don’t want some hard tunes tho, I want gentle tunes”

I honestly don't know who this was, probably Anthony:“Why are you discriminating against whales?”

Miranda, with jazz hands:“Just a spoonful of... pizazz!”

Miranda, a few minutes later:“Just a spoonful of soot helps the depression go down”

Miranda:“What’s the month after January?”

Me, sister struggling:*counts on fingers* “October, November, December, January, feBRUARY”

Anthony,:“Doesn’t it smell like cat food? Oh no that’s McDonalds”

Anthony:“You smell like Cheerios.”

Me:“Thanks????”

Mary, standing by the roof set we had:“Bert, you look like a cat”

Bert, on the roof: “meow”

Marcy, working on her character:“I’m doing research... drug research “

Marcy, trying to explain her character to me:“Marcy Tippetome is a drug addict. But she’s addicted to Tylenol”

Bert:“Bloody hell”

Michael:“sTOP THERE ARE CHILDREN “

Bert:“well you’re the one who keeps pretending to shoot people on stage”

Anthony, singing:“Someone smells like celery!!!!”

Anthony, moments later:“So I was in my room and my body collapsed”

Miss Andrew:“In 20 years I’ll be like ‘hey, you owe me a soda kid’”

Michael:“I’ll be dead in 20 years”

Mr. Banks:“All hair is dead”

Miranda:*bad Italian accent* “would you like some rigatoni???”

Anthony:“Spit the alcohol out Marcy”

Miranda, ranting:“The government can leave. I only know... I don’t know English”

Miranda, reenacting the Sound of Music:“Donde es Maria??”

Miranda and Anthony:*speaking in simmish for ten minutes*

Bert:“I’m gonna hiss. Like a cat. Meow.”

Mary:“Bert, I’m done with you. Jump off the rooftop.”

Probably Anthony??? I don't know:“My name is Margaret, and I like cheese”

Me:“Michael who? I only know mILK”

Anthony:“Remember when I asked what century it was?”

Anthony:“There’s blood on my finger”

Miranda, deadpan:“blood is the cure”

Me:“There’s something in your pocket”

Anthony, nonchalantly:“it’s just a chair”

One of the statues:“Ohmigod who’s on your phone screen Anthony?”

Anthony:“I’m gay”

Anthony, staring into the distance:“Death is my cure”

Anthony, moments later:*valley girl accent* “I’m gonna die”

Miranda, disdainfully:“I never had emo phase. I didnt want to associate with tHAT”

Me to Anthony because he had to wear this frog costs and it was skintight: “Dicks out for Mary Poppins”

Anthony, giving Mrs Banks a hug:“Hi mom!”

Mrs. Banks, deadpan:“did I give you the permission to touch me?”

Anthony, after we went to Wendy's:“Oh my gosh there’s a spoon between my legs! I just wanted my phone and I reached down and then... there’s ice cream on my crotch”

Also Anthony:“I was exhaling really intensely the other day and my tongue started flopping around”

My little brother right before tech week:“Dress rehearsal?? More like stress rehearsal”

Anthony:“Marcy put the Tylenol DOWN!”

Miranda:“Noooo, she’s doing cocane”

(I swear we're good children I'm sorry)

The lady who played Queen Victoria, approaching Miranda:“Can you blow into my eye?”

An ensemble member:“Don’t choke me”

Mr. Banks:“I don’t even know you yet”

Miss Lark, handing someone her dog puppet:“Here, hold my bitch”

Literally all of my friends: *simultaneous “it’s poppin”*

Who knows, but now we all say it:“Rest IP”

Anthony, buying frozen yogurt at the mall between shows:“Is chocolate supposed to be crispy??”

Me, dying inside because I thought it would be a good idea to leave my show tights on while we went to the mall:“Oh No tHeReS SorBeT oN mY TigHtS!?!”

Ok backstory: we had this table for Spoonful of Sugar that is supposed to break and then magically repair itself. So it's motor powered, and so far it's been working great. Fun! So the last night of the show arrives. I accidentally sweep the guy playing Robertson Ay because he's on the floor, so we're already dying. Mary goes to fix the table, and it goes as planned, only to revert back to broken a moment later with a bang. I'm breaking character, and trying to keep singing, but I lose it bc out stage manager offstage, sounding completely dead inside, goes:“Well, there goes the table.”

????:“Why is it wet??” Anthony:“Because I salivate”

Michael, on his way out the door on closing night:“Keep it poppin”

(I cried)

Other notable moments:

This girl started crying about cows in the middle of rehearsal bc she loved them so much

The guy who played Mr. Banks did origami and he made me a dragon

The lady playing Mrs Andrew would regularly balance chairs on her chin

I had to pretend to rip a dolls arm off and the second night I actually ripped its arm off oops

One night I forgot to preset said doll, so it didn't have an arm for a full scene

We'd been joking about building a fort in the dressing room for a while so on the last day, we walked in to find Mrs Banks surrounded by chairs. "It's Fort Banks." She said. Someone had blankets in their car and suddenly there was an actual blanket fort in the dressing room

The girl who played the messenger would write letters to Mr Banks to read during the shows. One of them was about robbing a bank, I think??? She gave him her address and we're still waiting for a reply for the final letter

The flying equipment got caught on the lights one rehearsal and Bert almost died

We'd sing Feed the Birds for warm ups sometimes and I'd cry. every. time.

We were in the Disney store, and the Mary Poppins trailer starts playing as we’re buying Mary Poppins shirts, with Mary Poppins shirts already on

#this is such a long post I'm sorry #if you get through this congrats #not newsies #mary poppins

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