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#I skip some colder days
evielmostdefinitely · 5 months
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scorned earth |young!coriolanus snow x capitol!reader|
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prompt: the last stop on your honeymoon tour of the districts, leaves coriolanus to show you parts of his past, making new memories with you. based off this ask from the other day :)
contains: smut 18+. dark!possessive!coriolanus. mentions of corio's past. dom/sub dynamics. skinny dipping, semi-public sex. pinvsex. mean-ish!coriolanus.
“Where are you taking me?” You looked around at the tall trees, the sun peaking through the branches onto the moss covered ground. Your hand in Coriolanus’, fingers intertwined, letting him lead you through the thicket of trees. 
“It’s a surprise, my love. I told you.” Coryo’s eyes were bright, daring with excitement. Turning back to look at you over his shoulder, the sun caught in his baby blues, making your heart skip. “You trust me, don’t you?” 
You melted at his words, smiling softly. “Of course, I do.” You whispered, letting him tug you through the forest. “I-I’m just worried about snakes, or bears, or-” 
“-I won’t let them hurt you.” Coryo smiled, squeezing your hand. The pistol resting on his hip offered some comfort to you. “That’s why I’m going first.” 
You’d blame it on the warmth of the day, hot but breezy, as the reason you were so flustered at his words. The heat in your cheeks, tingling up your spine. District Twelve was the last stop on your tour, the last stop on your honeymoon. Coriolanus insisted on showing you around, to some of his favorite spots from his Peacekeeper days. After putting the town on a strict lockdown- you weren’t sure why he did it, but you didn't dare question it- he dragged you out here. 
“This is…” You looked at the water, sparkling from sunlight, and the greenery all around it. 
“Breathtaking isn’t it?” Coriolanus’ arms found your waist, chin tucking over your shoulder. The breeze fell between the two of you, fresh air, not smoggy or stuffy like the polluted city air of the Capitol. 
“It is.” You nodded, hand sliding over his biceps, leaning back into his touch. “How’d you ever find this?” 
Coriolanus paused for a moment, heart skipping a beat at the thought of her. He wouldn’t tell you about her, not now, at least, it was your honeymoon. “We used to come out here on our days off.” He said instead. It wasn’t a complete lie, he supposed. 
“Stay in that cabin, sometimes, when it would rain.” Coriolanus pointed to the cabin, a little more worn than he remembered, a lot colder looking too. 
You turned, smiling at the sight. “That’s… This is very nice.” You grinned, head tilting back to meet his gaze. You looked pretty like this, Coryo decided, under the bright District Twelve summer sun. 
“Would you like to go swimming?” Coryo smiled, hand brushing over your hip, squeezing it gently. 
“Swimming?” You giggled. “In what, Coryo? I didn’t pack any swimwear.” 
“Do you think they have swimwear here?” Coriolanus scoffed lightly, shaking his head at you. “Just go in your undergarments.” 
“Coryo.” You blushed, looking around like there might be others to overhear. It was so improper, you were surprised he even suggested it. 
“Or just go without anything on.” Coryo rasped, his crotch grinding lightly into the fat of your ass. Your body jolted with electric heat, grabbing at his arms. “No one’s out here, darling. I won’t mind.” His breath was hot on the shell of your ear, leaving you shivering at the thought. 
Your hands trembled lightly with excitement, pushing down the straps of your dress, gaze on Coriolanus. He grinned proudly as you stripped, your eyes on him so obediently- just as he trained you to be. You were bare, arms covering your most private parts, standing in front of him on the small dock. 
Coriolanus followed, slinging off his slacks, his shirt, grinning at you with that familiar, wild look in his eyes. It made your heart flutter, his gaze animalistic, roaming all over your body. 
“I’m going to throw you in.” Coriolanus growled playfully, though his eyes were primal. 
“Don’t you dare, Coryo.” You pointed at him, walking back on the creaking dock. “Coriolanus Snow, I swear-” 
Coryo lunged at you, laughing at how you shrilled, your scream bouncing off the trees, the mockingjays echoing it through the breeze. Your bare feet padding against the wood, ass jiggling with your run, taunting him. You skidded to a stop at the edge, whipping around to look over your shoulder. Coriolanus pacing towards you, arms reaching out for you, eyes narrowed with a primal sense that had you reaching your arms out in instinct. 
“Coryo, no!” Your squealing pleas were cut short, his hands on your waist, slinging both your naked bodies into the lake water. 
Cool water plunged around you, hands clawing at Coriolanus even under the murky water. You surfaced, a large gasp of a breath, hands hitting the rippling waters with a panicked fury. You could swim, sure, but not very well, especially not when you were thrown in unexpectedly. 
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” Coriolanus hummed, hands pulling you into his wet chest, bobbling with you through the water. You crawled up his back, legs wrapping around his waist, hugging him tightly to you. 
He could feel your heart beating on the back of his chest, your pebbled nipples from the cold water pressing to his back, making his cock lurch with lust. 
“Don’t you dare let go of me.” You hissed, nails digging into his shoulder. “There’s no telling what’s in this water. I can’t even see the bottom.” 
“Oh,” Coryo taunted, chin hooking over his shoulder to grin at you. “Might be a monster, hm? Might come up and bite you.” His fingers pinched the fat of your ass, you squealed in his ear, feet pushing up on his hips, dunking him slightly. 
He sputtered, water, feet kicking steadily under the water to keep you both afloat, wiping the droplets out of his eyes. Your pouting face greeted him once his vision cleared, brows creased in a deep furrow. “That wasn’t funny.” You grumbled. 
“Oh, don’t be pouty with me, darling. I was only teasing.” Coriolanus’ hands found your waist, pulling you around his body so you rested on his hips, legs still tight around him in a vice. “You know I wouldn’t let anything hurt you, petal.” He muttered, cupping your jaw gently. 
It was a rare pet name, but by far your most beloved, which is why Coriolanus used it so sparingly. Only when he was especially in love, when he wanted you to know. 
You ducked into his kiss, your own hands on the back of his head, pulling you closer and closer to him. His lips moving on yours, noses brushing, teeth gnashing in a positively sloppy makeout. It felt exhilarating to be doing this in public, showing such crude affection outdoors, even if no one else was around. 
Coriolanus’ hand on your hip, squeezing gently, sliding under the water up your back to cup your breasts under the water. You giggled breathy into his kiss, legs tightening under the water. Coriolanus tipped you into the kiss, dunking you under the water accidentally. 
You sputtered, coughed at the water invading your nose, glaring back at him. He grinned cheekily, squeezing the fat of your left ass cheek firmly under the water. “Maybe this isn’t the best idea.” He hummed. “Far easier in the bathtub, I’m finding out.” 
You blushed, shoving his shoulder playfully. “So what then? On the banks? Like animals?” 
Coriolanus’ eyes left your gaze, darkening at what he saw past you. You could see the change in them, that crossed over to something sinister and dark, it made your stomach flip with thrill, anticipation. 
“No,” Coryo’s eyes met yours, lips curling in a sinister smile. “I have a better idea.” 
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“That’s it, that’s perfect, my love.” Coriolanus grunted, head tipping back into the hardwood of the floors. 
The floorboards squeaked beneath you, with every rise and fall of your hips. Your hair was still damp, as was his, bodies still soft from the water that hadn’t been wiped away. His hands pawed at your breasts, squeezing them with every roll and rise, riding him in the small cabin. 
His mind flooded with memories, memories of before, everytime he looked around. The dark day he didn’t want to remember, a dark time before you. Coriolanus felt guilty, thinking of her while you were on top of him- his wife. So he did what he could to keep his mind from wandering, pawing at your breasts, grabbing at the fat of your ass, but he swore- swore he could hear the mockingjays singing that same song over and over. 
“Wait, just a- hold on, darling girl.” Coriolanus grunted, pressing on your hip to stop you. 
“What?” You panted, chest rising and falling sharply. “What’s wrong?” You muttered, purely lust drunk, your eyes told him so. 
Coryo smiled, cradling your jaw gently, pulling you to him. Your body folded over his, lips on his, kissing him passionately. Coriolanus flipped the two of you, rolling you lightly onto the wooden floor, the floorboards groaning at the shift. His hands cupped under your knees, pressing your thighs forward, letting you hook them over his shoulders while he bottomed out in you, smug at how your eyes rolled back. 
“C-Coryo,” You whimpered at the sudden change of pace, his hips snapping and rolling into you sharply, cock spearing that spongy spot that had your eyes rolling back, mouth falling open dumbly. 
Coriolanus’ pace didn’t stop, fucking you nearly barbarically, at a punishing pace. You hadn’t expected it, truthfully, he normally saved this type of sex for when you’d been bad, when you needed to get fucked like this. Maybe he needed it. Something about District Twelve had him off, but you didn’t pry. 
“Look at me.” Coriolanus growled, hands pushing into your hips, fingertips curling so sharply you knew there would be bruises. 
Your eyes fluttered open, glazed with ecstasy from every punctuating jab of his cock into you. “Who do you belong to?” 
You were confused, mind dwindling away, thoughts following them. Coriolanus tapped your cheek lightly, hard enough to get your attention, eyes snapping obediently back to him. “Answer me.” Coryo repeated through gritted teeth, his pace not letting up, not once. “Who do you belong to?” 
“Y-You.” You shuddered, body rolling with another wave of pleasure, thighs trembling around him. 
“Say it again.” Coriolanus spat, reaching forwards, hand cupping your cheeks, squeezing them between his fingers so your lips puckered. “Who do you belong to?” 
“You, Coryo, you. You- oh!- it’s only you. Only you.” You babbled, tears leaking out of the corners of your eyes as your orgasm consumed you. He didn’t stop, squeezing tighter around your cheeks. 
“You’re all mine. Mine. You belong to me, you got that? Not anyone else.” Coriolanus growled, his thrusts faster now, leaving you no time to recover. You whimpered at the sensation, the sensitivity. 
“You’re never leaving me, either. You got that?” Coryo snarled. Your eyes had glazed, looking at the wood ceiling above him, half heartedly pushing at his arm. 
Coriolanus’ hand pulled your chin back to him, stilling suddenly, still deep inside of you. “Look at me.” He sneered. Your eyes fluttered to him. “You’re not leaving me, ever.” He held your gaze, his wild eyed one peering back at you. 
“Say it.” Coryo demanded. You whimpered, his hips pressing further into you, filling you more- you didn’t even know he still could, you felt so full already. “Say it!’ 
The sheer possessiveness, his tone, a chilling edge that had you shuddering. “I-I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered, voice caught around the lump in your throat. “I’m not going anywhere, Coryo, staying with you.” 
“Forever?” Coryo hated how needy he sounded, but he doubted you noticed, not with the way your lip was trembling, eyes glazed. 
“Forever.” You repeated, squeezing his wrist lightly. “Forever with you. Only you.” 
Coriolanus dropped himself over you, face buried in the crook of his neck to breathe in your sweat soaked scent, rutting into you like a mutt in heat until he was spilling, presseed deep inside of you, milking his load into you. 
The walk back to the train was much slower this time. You clung to Coryo, legs wobbly and unsure, his arms wrapped around your back. It was silent, the chirping of the birds, the breeze floating between the leaves, your only sound. 
Coryo left you later that night, tucked into the bed, pressing a kiss to your head. You didn’t pry as to where he was going, and he was grateful for that. You didn’t ask why he smelled of smoke when he came back, why he was just as ravenous as before, which he was even more thankful for. 
As Coriolanus left you, meeting with the General over the Peacekeepers, leading them back through the thicket, he thought of her. Her smug grin, her in his mother’s shawl, how she’d just left it- left him. He thought he’d never recover after Lucy Gray. Then he met you. How you treasured every gift, only looked at him, craved him the way he did you. 
You wore his mother’s ring with pride, and he knew she’d be pleased with you. 
Which is why he had to kill all of his past before you. 
Kill the woman who wrecked him, the girl who took his heart and shredded it, made it jagged for your hold. 
And as the cabin burned, scorched under the starry night sky, Coriolanus was pleased knowing his last memories of the cabin were with you instead of her. 
Knowing that part of him was ash like the wooden cabin was now, soot mixed with the soil of District Twelve. 
Coriolanus returned back to you, holding you as close as he could in his arms, skin to skin, heartbeat to heartbeat. You were his, and he was yours. Now until forever.
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shibaraki · 6 months
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HELD BY YOU, FELLED BY YOU ┊ TODOROKI SHOUTO
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tags: GN reader, developing relationship, physical affection, touch starved shouto, loneliness, hugs + hand holding, fluff, only a little angst, obliviousness, pro hero shouto, reader works at hero agency
wc: 1.4K
series masterlist: 1/5
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It is 4:03pm on a Thursday afternoon. The skies are grey, and the rain is so light it’s practically a wet fog. You have not touched Shouto in any meaningful way since Monday.
Before this week Shouto was certain that he must have been absorbed into a long-standing state of neutrality and apathy as a child. He didn’t long for anything, atleast, not in the way his friends claimed to. Whiny professions of loneliness, lamenting over romantic relationships and sex or lack thereof, dreamily recounting their passionate escapades. It didn’t appeal much to him.
Shouto had what he needed to survive—to live his day to day and climb the ranks without disruption, and it seemed that affection was not one of those things. The Todoroki household had never been particularly affectionate anyway. After his mother was admitted to the psychiatric hospital touch became less associated with comfort and happiness, and more of a thing to avoid altogether.
Shouto never actually voiced an aversion to touch. He held hands with crying children as he walked them back to their parents. He rubbed the backs of countless scared victims, he let them wrap around his arm and squeeze until his fingers grew numb. He offered his left side to elderly folk in the colder weather as they waited to be loaded into an ambulance.
But these small instances were always initiated by him, and his well-meaning friends decided to leave the ball in his court sometime during highschool. It never really left.
Until—
“Can I hug you?” you blurted. Your expression quickly twisted into a sheepish grimace. “You look like you could do with one, is all”.
At that moment Shouto had been sitting in the infirmary half covered in soot and picking out the bits of rubble that managed to get inside his suit’s ventilator. He stared up at you and wondered what that would even look like on himself, lifting a hand to feel his face and finding it relatively normal.
The sound of his heart flooded his ears and he frowned at the reaction. You weren’t a new friend by any means, but Shouto scarcely made new friends so you are newer than the others. You’ve never tried to be physically affectionate but he’s caught you gazing at him fondly sometimes, when you think he’s none the wiser, and he likes it.
Shouto nodded. Why, he doesn’t know. To quell your anxiety and get rid of the awkward atmosphere, he reasoned. Then your lips pulled into a soft, pleased smile, and he felt it like the sun on his face.
You stepped forward as though approaching some skittish animal. Shouto made no move to stand. He had only watched with trepidation as your hands lifted. A breath caught in his throat as they extended to rest on his sloped shoulders. “I’ll get you dirty,” he murmured dumbly in afterthought.
“That’s okay,” you replied, barely above a whisper. Your arms slipped around his back gently, and soon tightened to a secure hold when no objection came—there could be none, because the instant Shouto’s cheek pressed against your soft stomach, a rush of adrenaline speared through him and swept away all conscious thought.
To Shouto touch was like skipping a rock through the cavity in his chest; doing it only ever made its presence more obvious. But you cradled him there for what seemed like hours and he felt warm in ways he couldn’t articulate. Your fingers danced aimless patterns along the top of his spine, sometimes pausing to curl the wispy hair at his nape around them, and he sank.
True to his word, Shouto had dirtied your clothes. He apologised when you pulled away because it was all he could do not to whimper. You didn’t spare your shirt a glance—you just smiled at him again, and said you hoped it helped.
Helped? Helped?
The weight of your embrace had lingered for hours, cloven to the forefront of his mind, clinging to the memory before it became too obscure. Only now the memory hurt him to think about, and the pervasive ache for more intensified as the days passed.
Just this morning he’d wrapped his bedsheets tight and drew them around his shoulders to simulate that same feeling. Closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, picturing you there. Your sweet, purposeful touches. Your comforting scent. Your chest rising and falling. Your voice rumbling against his cheek. Heat filled his body, like you’d reached inside and turned the spigot of his heart.
It was mortifying. And exhilarating.
Shouto stuck his hand out from the shelter of the awning and let the rain lick at his fingers. Overturning his wrist, catching them on the shallow of his palm, he contemplates how he can get you to touch him again.
Last time you said he simply looked like he needed it. Too frustrating and vague, not to mention Shouto has been needing it all week. You could have meant his grimy post-battle appearance, but he didn’t really think this should warrant being thrown from another high rise building. Maybe he has to earn it this time.
You’re standing beside him, too preoccupied by the emails on your phone to notice his dilemma. Things have been fine. No awkwardness on your part, which he should probably be pleased about, but his mind keeps veering beyond rational conjecture. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. It all felt too one sided.
Shouto gives you a sidelong glance. You might be the only person he knows that can look alluring in the dreary afternoon light. With a sigh he lets his hand drop to his hip and wipes it on his dry suit.
Your thumbs move fast across the screen. “Sorry, Shouto. I promise I’m not ignoring you—just need to reply to this intern,” you tell him. “God, have I ever mentioned how much I hate the email software your agency uses? Because I do”.
He hums, “You have”.
Whatever you hear in his voice has you looking up. There’s a crease etched in your brow, expression open and apologetic. Your gaze flickers to the hand held to his front, where he’s working out the static in his knuckles.
“Are you cold?” you ask, pocketing your phone. It’s a silly question. He is a walking furnace. But Shouto is statuesque as you reach to cup his distinctly bigger hand with your own. Heat prickles under his skin. The staccato of his heart kicks up. You lean down to exhale a warm breath over his fingers, and stroke your thumb along the dips and peaks of his knuckles.
Shouto sends a mental apology to Kaminari for the halfhearted response he gave after a long, lovestruck monologue about his girlfriend’s hands. He thinks he gets it, now.
Your lips curl into a satisfied smile. “Better?” you scan his face and the smile falters. “Shit. Sorry, Shouto. I should’ve asked,” then you’re retreating again and—
He reflexively grabs your wrist. It’s a loose grip, enough for you to free yourself from. You pause. “No,” a puff of steam billows out from his mouth and he has enough presence of mind to be embarrassed by it. “…It’s fine. You don’t have to stop”.
Your concern dwindles into amusement as he wafts it away. “Alright,” you say placatingly. The tension alleviates, and when your fingers slip against his you immediately twine them together, taking the ache in his chest with it. “Is this ‘fine’ too?”
Shouto nods, not yet trusting his voice or his quirk.
“I wasn’t sure if I crossed any lines on Monday,” your eyes dipped to stare at the pavement as you continued. “I know you aren’t touchy feely like the others. They were… surprised when I mentioned the hug”.
“I didn’t think I was,” he swallows, flexing his fingers to squeeze your hand. “I liked it”.
You squeeze back, “You did?”
Shouto squeezes harder, and can’t stop the smile coming unbidden to his lips. “I did,” he says.
You meet his gaze. He’s pinned by that fond look you always try to hide from him. “Do you want another one, then?”
“But I didn’t do anything”.
A litany of emotion passes over your face at his response. There’s determination in the purse of your lips as you step into his space, entangled hands caught between your bodies. Wrapping an arm around his waist, you tuck your nose into the hollow where his jaw met his neck.
There’s a clumsiness to his movements as he follows your lead and slips his arm around your back. Head suddenly too heavy for his neck, he rests his cheek on your crown, melting into the embrace.
“You don’t need to earn my affection, Shouto. Not now and not ever”.
“Oh,” Shouto breathes. “I can just ask?”
“You can,” you laugh softly.
Why hadn’t he thought to just—ask. That is far more reasonable than being flung from another burning high rise.
“What?”
Ah. He pulls you further into his chest until you’re pressed together like the pages of a book. “Nothing”.
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r4izx · 3 months
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Worth more than what you take me for.
ayato x gn!reader
summary: in which he had to choose between two people including you, in a life and death situation.
disclaimers: swearing (there's like one lol), kidnapping, ooc traveler.
4,032 words and 21,895 characters.
a/n: dayum. this took a while and i did not expect to write this much.
you've known ayato since childhood. your parents has been serving their clan for generations, being one of their most trusted allies. and you're no exception.
growing up with people with high authorities was such a privilege. you remember when you first met lord ayato and lady ayaka. they both were very the same yet so different. so elegant, disciplined and was well mature for their age. you felt some kind of barrier between you and the siblings but they turned out just as kind as they look. they were easy to converse with. naturally, after some time of serving them, you would have gotten closer. and in fact, you did. although you thought, you and ayato's relationship was... rather special.
for some reason, ayato treats you very differently compared to others. not in a bad way. he often calls you to his workplace, make you sit there and drink tea with him. he takes you out to go eat dinner at uyuu restaurant when you both have finished work. he requested you to be his personal assistant while ayaka had thoma. and because of this, you get to spend more time with him than anyone else. at the beginning, you always thought ayato would be a cold and strict person. but it turns out to be quite the opposite. okay- maybe he is more quiet and colder than others, but that's towards other people. especially to those he only has business with.
ayato is surprisingly different to what you originally thought. he would try to match your humor, often speaking informally like the way you would around your closest friends just to match with you. lately he's been spending his free time with you too. he noticed you liked tea a lot, much like him. so both of you had made it a habit to have tea at the estate's balcony while the sun is going down. watching the sunset together. it felt really romantic for you- but you quickly shook your head and remembered that to him- you're just his work partner. but is that really the case for him? because he was much more observant than you thought. especially about you. he notices any slight change in the mood with you. so there was a particular day when you were gloomy because of being so tired. but he noticed this immediately.
"Shall we take a break?"
-- and you don't know why but your heart skipped a beat when he said that. you thought it was funny-- how he would do all of this for you. and at times like these, you start to feel like a special person to him. just because he always relies on you compared to others. you thought you were special to him. until she came.
who is she? she looks so... bold and pretty. just one look at her and you can already tell she has a strong personality but has a gentle aura. her blonde hair swaying so glamorously in the wind. her otherworldly clothes making her stand out among people. the way she moves makes it embarrassing to stand beside her. she seems so... perfect in everyone's eyes. unfortunately, that includes ayato's. you don't remember having a guest in ayato's schedule when you were fixing it, so why's she here?
you found out the answer really quickly. everyone at the estate has been talking about her and... ayato lately. you don't know why though, which is weird- because as his assistant you should be the first to know about things regarding him. it's even weirder that ayato had not summoned you after work has ended. 'is this where our afternoon tea sessions end?' you thought to yourself. so you found it upon yourself to just be straightforward and ask others what's the gossip all about. luckily, there was another servant nearby. she quickly leaned closer to you and whispered.
"h-haven't you heard?... it seems that lord ayato had taken a liking to lady ayaka's guest."
you were surprised. really. it wasn't even his guest yet he bothered to entertain her. just who is she?
"who-... who is her lady's guest?" you nervously questioned.
"I heard it was... the traveler? was it? lord ayato visited her personally! they're just so perfect with eachother!- i can't help it." the servant squeals in excitement, contrary to your look in horror. you try not to make it obvious though. but you shouldn't even be feeling this way. why does it hurt? there's a sharp feeling on your chest that you just can't get out of. it just hurts to know the reason why he stopped your afternoon tea sessions, dinner hangouts, or just even talking with eachother is because of another girl! you were in no place to get frustrated since you were just a servant. nothing more, nothing less. to him.
you only see him through work now. the urge to invite him to a tea break and have a conversation with him while watching the sunset is getting stronger everyday. and who are you to resist?
"lord ayato... wou-" before you could even finish your sentence, he stopped you. your heart was beating so fast. 'oh no. did I do something wrong?' thoughts like these were circling through your mind.
"i told you to just call me 'ayato' y/n"
--and he chuckles a bit at the end. and so do you. you felt so... relieved. your worries instantly washed away. you felt at ease knowing that you are special to him. i mean- he doesn't do this with others does he?
"ah- my bad... but as I was saying, would you like to have some afternoon tea break with me? I mean, we used to do that everyday but it has been a while since we last did soo..."
and at this point you were so sure he wouldn't decline. he's been less busy this week, what could he possibly do that's far too important to even refu-
"my apologies, y/n. i've already scheduled a tea break with someone else this afternoon. maybe next time if i have the time. i promise i'll make it up to you. however, you could accompany us if you would like." and your mind. empty. the world seems like it stopped for you. not only was your only time to hang out with him gone but you were also replaced. all this time... he was with someone else. you had a gut feeling of who that someone else might be. but you couldn't hold a grudge, you have no right to.
"i-... i look forward to it." nope. you absolutely don't, look forward to it. that day will eventually come though. you just didn't expect it to come, three days later. how quick. you were filled with mixed of different emotions. you hate to admit it- but... you are jealous of who this person might be. but at the same time you're glad to just see ayato again! sadly, for work. when he summoned you, you thought-- 'oh is this finally it? will we finally hang out together again?' until you realize it's just that you will just accompany him to go to a somewhat date with someone else. compared to you and ayato just drinking tea at the estate's balcony, he had prepared so much as to have tea and snacks at the shore. alas, you could finally meet this person. once again. as you realize it was her. the traveler.
"traveler, did you wait long? i'm sorry, you could've ju..."
and their conversation went deaf on your ears. the ayato kamisato. speaking informally, and giving out tea invitations to the traveler. when it used to be you... why are you feeling like this? isn't it obvious. the traveler is way prettier, stronger and better than you. comparing yourself to the traveler is already such an embarrassing thing to do. no one could compare to her. she's out there defeating monsters and fighting archons. while you're here holding a grudge on a person who doesn't even know you just because you're jealous you were easily replaced. but who were you to be replaced when you weren't even his to begin with. this is why you feel guilty. because you think that you have no right to feel this way. it's just now that you realize how much of an overthinker you are. however your thoughts were cut short when you hear ayato calling out your name.
"y/n, i'll go to to the comfort room for a bit. please entertain the traveler while i'm away."
he says.
"understood." and so you take a seat at ayato's chair before. and despite not wanting to have a talk with the traveler, it is still your duty and you would not abandon it for just some mere feelings.
"greetings, i'm y/n. it's a pleasure to meet you traveler." you bow slightly and give the smile you usually show to guests. a smile you practiced countless of times infront of a mirror. "you might have not heard about me though. so allow me t-"
"oh i know. you're ayato's personal assistant. he mentioned it to me before." the traveler states. and you were genuinely shocked but also... curious.
"is that so?... then, has he said any other things about me before?" you nervously asked. though the nervously part may not be obvious to others. the traveler sees right through this. and she giggles. but nods. "would you mind serving me some tea? the tea ayato has been serving me is delicious however i've tasted it countless of times from our past tea parties. so I would like to have a different flavor this time."
the word 'countless' implies that they have been doing this for a while now and you already know that. but it still stirs a feeling of jealousy inside you.
"of course. luckily i brought a different tea flavor for myself as well. let me go get the ingredients from my bag." you return after brewing the tea and pouring it into the cups. how thoughtful that the traveler had already prepared the cups for you.
"this tastes a lot like lavender... melon." the traveler says.
"hm. because it is. you have a great sense of taste." you reply. from this point and so on, you don't really know what to talk about. the atmosphere is really awkward. but you still try to strike up a conversation because she is a guest.
"s-so... what brings you here to the kamisato estate?" you ask. in which the traveler replied with "originally, ayaka invited me. and ayato next." you don't know if it's just your eyes playing tricks on you or did the corner of her mouth raise upwards for a bit. you brush it off. maybe the grudge you have on her is going too far. i mean, it's not like you hate her though. but it's also not like you like her.
by now you've almost finished your tea. same goes for the traveler. you only had to endure a little bit more of this atmosphere and her because ayato should be back soon. so you lowered your guard and relaxed a bit. this whole time you only stared at your teacup, but it wouldn't hurt to take a glimpse at the traveler right? so slowly but hesitantly, you lift your eyes up to see her. already staring at you. but you couldn't break away from the eye contact. especially because she just asked you something you're also asking yourself.
"y/n. tell me. do you like ayato?"
despite having a smile on her face as she asked this, her tone was rather cold. it sent shivers down your spine. you don't know why she's asking this. but you also don't know the answer to that question.
...do you like ayato?
"I'm..."
that was the last thing you said before you went unconscious. before that, your vision went blurry and your head was getting dizzy. how could this be? all the years you've spent serving the kamisato clan, this has never happened.
a loud ringing on your ears forced you to wake up, you could hear numerous voices as you slowly opened your eyes. your vision was still blurry but you could figure out that someone was huge was standing before you.
"it's awake."
'it's? what do these people take me for'. --is what you would have thought when you realized you've been kidnapped and the kidnappers are a group of nobushis. you look at your surroundings, counting just how many they are until you finally notice someone beside you. the traveler. she's still unconscious. looking at her made you realize that you're also tied up and is unable to speak. screaming is no use. you seem to be in a... cave? you're not so sure because you don't remember a cave this huge at inazuma. you try to recall what happened and why you ended up here until you heard something a nobushi said.
"ya think he's coming here?"
"i heard he fancies these two. of course he will."
he? who's he? considering they kidnapped you and the traveler, don't tell me they're talking about him. not lord aya--
"oh well look who's here."
your eyes widen in shock when you turn to the direction they're facing. he's standing right there. ayato kamisato has come to save you. ...and the traveler. something moves beside you and you see the traveler, already awake, with tears in her eyes. isn't the traveler supposed to be strong and mighty? you don't understand, how were they able to kidnap her. in what situation was she in for her to become so vulnerable and be captured? i mean before all of this she was only with you-- !! your eyes widen. you saw ayato, ...glaring at you.
why was he glaring? you were in a pitiful situation right now, yet he glares at you as if you commited a crime. you can't believe it but... 'don't tell me thinks... i poisoned the traveler.' archons. he definitely thinks just that. the way his eyes softens as he looks to the girl beside you confirms so.
"give us the document. maybe we'll let both of them go." one of the nobushis spoke up. documents? what documents are they talking about? you handle all the documents for ayato, could it be he's been keeping something from you? are they comparing lives to a piece of document? surely ayato would-
"no. ...who sent you?" his voice cold as ice. the world has been surprising you a lot today. how important could that document be for it to be able to compare to a person's life. "straightforward i see... too bad, if you don't give us the documents any time we'll kill both of your precious little friends and this place will blow up soon." one of the nobushis spoke up again, it was the same guy as earlier. normally, ayato would be able to beat a few nobushis on his own. but he's way outnumbered right now. for some reason he knows that you and the traveler was taken here, yet he still came alone. you look beside you and see that the traveler is now crying. compared to the mighty traveler you seem to be too calm. you shouldn't be, in a situation like this. is it because ayato is now here? although he probably hates your guts already. but you just trust him way too much.
"...not giving in eh? then let's see..."
the nobushi paused for a moment, seemingly thinking about another way to make ayato give in and for them to gain something out of him. the nobushi smirked.
"...if you give us some mora... we'll let ya choose one of them to go with. give us the documents, you all can go home safe and sound. give us none and... you'll die with them." and finally, you felt... fear. your heart was racing. you didn't know it was this bad. earlier you already knew that you're this close to death's door but you weren't panicking at all. you also don't mind dying if it was for ayato. from an early age you already knew that you had to serve and protect their clan no matter what-- even if you have to pay the price of your own life. so why panic now? is it because the nobushis are going to far with their negotiations? is it because you're knocking right at death's door? or maybe it's because you're afraid that ayato will abandon you. choosing someone else, right infront of you in a critical situation like this. but surely he wouldn't, right?
" ...traveler," he throws a pouch of mora to the ground towards the nobushis. you remember when you both were strolling around at inazuma city after dinner. when he mentions that ever since he saw you looking through the stalls but not buying anything, he figured he'd buy them for you. so he always carried a pouch of mora. for you... and not for anyone el-
".. let's go." what? are you hearing things right? but judging by the way they pull the traveler and untie her, it seems that you are. but you wish you weren't. it turns out he really would choose someone else. the traveler lunges to embrace ayato. seeing ayato slowly hug her back, patting her back to calm down her tears and letting her cry on his shoulder just made your broken heart break even further. you get it. with the traveler's back facing you as they embrace, you take a glimpse of ayato until his gaze lands on you.
" ...y/n..."
his tone was somewhat... soft. you assume on a lot of things and right now you don't wanna expect but, you are. is this his last words to me? is he telling me he's sorry? is he gonna tell me how he regrets doing this? and that he never really wanted this to happen? and that i'm someone special to him, viewing me more than just a serv-
" --how dare you."
...and his gaze turns dark. what for? you didn't even do anything. his eyes glares at you as if you both were never friends. or maybe you were never really a friend to him. and he always thought of you as a mere servant. just like the rest. you were just- too naive. so foolish. thinking you were special. special just because he went looking for you and bought medicine and special rare tea in a day when you were sick for work. special cause he always invited you for tea breaks, conversing with you and only you. special because he always relies on you, and you allowed yourself to be relied on, --when you had no one to rely on for yourself. was those years of being with him nothing for him? was it that worthless in his eyes? that you could just be replaced and abandoned any time? you thought you were someone special in his life when he treated you differently compared to others.
but what about the way you treat him?
you treat him as if you were nothing without him. because he was everything to you. you were only this happy with him. only him. if you think of the most memorable memory you've ever had, it would include him. the day you first met him, and today. the last day you're seeing ayato. you watch them slowly turn their heels to leave. and all of a sudden you spoke. you couldn't help it, you spoke without even thinking. and now you don't know what to say. or maybe-- you just don't want to say it.
"a-ayato..." 'did you ever think if me as more than a friend?'... heck- more than a worker even. you wanted to ask just that. but you wouldn't. cause you couldn't. "...thank you, but I did nothing wrong." you say as you smile. that was your final words before the traveler and ayato takes more steps towards another path, probably leading to the exit. you hesitantly and slowly lift your eyes up to take one. last. look to ayato and... the traveler. and last time your eyes were playing tricks on you, but now you realize it wasn't. cause she was smirking again. smirking at you. leaving you to death.
anger. shame. resentment.
fury rises inside of you. you were raised to be patient with others. it was your job. so you've never felt this way for someone before. you wanted to scream but you couldn't. all you could think about was the traveler.
...the traveler!! the traveler!! the traveler.
it was all because of her that you're in a state like this. ever since she came, things changed. she was the person ayato replaced you with. the person he chose to spend the rest of his life with. and the reason why he threw away all of his memories with you and treated you like nothing. he chose a girl he just met instead of a childhood friend companion who has done nothing but pledge loyalty to him. now that you think about it... for ayato you would risk your life for him, die for him even. but he wouldn't do that for you. he only showed up for the traveler when you thought he came to save you.
it felt like your world was crumbling right before your eyes, watching them walk away, leaving you to death. you could mean that literally since anytime now you might be reduced to nothing but also... ayato is your world. to you he is everything. growing up with him, growing with him. he really is that special to you.
too bad,
he doesn't even see you as anything more than a servant. to him you were, not. special. at. all.
their footsteps has slowly faded away. they left. they've left you. behind, to die. it seems... this is it. you hear the nobushis chuckling and talking amongst eachother,
"geez... what a show! anyway.., are the preparations complete?"
"really? then we could go!"
"where did she say we would meet her again?"
"that bitch... making us do all of this. if it weren't for the mora then I wouldn't have agreed."
her? who's her? who's she? these thoughts seem all too familiar, and once again, you got your answer quickly.
"oh the traveler asked us to meet her at jinren island." a nobushi replied. just when you thought your hatred for her couldn't get any worse. however your thoughts were completely cut off when the nobushis all started leaving you. not even batting a single eye. you remembered them mentioning something that would leave you to ashes here. what was it again? if you recall quickly it was probably a-- "a bomb," --a nobushi says to you. as if he could read your mind. "a few minutes from now, once we all leave, this place will get wrecked. including... you." the nobushi laughs. you have never been this lonely before. i mean, you always had ayato beside you. but now that he personally left you for someone else- who do you have now? you have no answer for that. or maybe it is the answer. nothing. no one is there to help you. your reason to live is gone. atleast, you served your life's purpose before you die. you were never really that close to others including your family because of ayato. so you have nothing to lose now. but... you wish you could atleast take revenge on the traveler... even though you hate that idea. revenge isn't something you would even consider but.. the traveler is a different case.
today has given you particularly a lot of last things. like your last thoughts just now. before feeling a strong burst of energy and the brightest light you've ever seen. and everything turns dark.
...your eyes are closed and you can't move your body. but you're hearing something... footsteps? oh, a voice.
" ...how pitiful,"
you fall into deep sleep once again after feeling such an electrifying strike on your back.
... just who was that?
584 notes · View notes
kakushino · 8 months
Text
Be my Owner
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Demon pet! Tomioka Giyuu x AFAB! Reader
Demons mated for life, sharing lifespan with their mates.
Tags: mild allusions to depression (reader), demon pet AU (domesticated demons), in heat, smut, nipple play, mating, dom-leaning bottom reader (i think???) Word count: 7,4k
Masterlist | My Pet Demon collab
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You knew you were not well mentally; the deep hole, where your heart should be, made itself known a long time ago. What you didn’t understand was the reason you… required a pet. And it wasn’t even any pet - a dog would have sufficed, maybe - but your best friend gave you a fucking demon.
You didn’t know what you did to deserve your best friend but this was a bit… over the top. Especially now as you stared your new charge in the impossibly deep blue eyes. 
Giyuu was a serious-looking demon, long black hair a little tangled and dry, giving it a distinct spiky shape, cute dark blue horns poking out from his head. He also had dark eyebags, which was hardly surprising, given that he’d had to travel in the sun, which weakened demons a great amount. An overall gaunt appearance was what made your heart want to keep it - keep him.
Demons had become domesticated in the last century or so, becoming glorified pets and workers, though there was a movement about giving them rights by law. You supported that movement passively, but you would have to immerse yourself in it more, now that you owned a demon.
He’d been silent the entire time you and your best friend talked, not moving an inch, and he was still not saying anything when they left.
“So…” He perked up a little when you started to speak. “Uhm… When was the last time you ate?” 
Giyuu shifted on his feet, the first true response to anything that was said that day. His voice was a little raspy, though not overly deep, and it retained a soothing quality. “...three days ago.”
Your friend told you he needed to feed at least once a week, so to be safe, you had to get some meat for him. It would do you no good to starve him, what with his current appearance. “And what type of meat do you prefer?”
The question made him raise his eyebrows briefly, before they fell back into a neutral expression. It seemed not many people, if anyone at all, asked him that. “Salmon.”
You had some salmon filets in the freezer that you could let thaw in the sink for him. It was a curious choice, less… usual? You would think he’d go for more human-like meat, such as pork. Oh well, you would have to look up diet options for him. Your friend told you he was a mutt - a mixed type breed - so you would heed his preference to salmon as well.
You tried not to think how much you focused on feeding him right, when you yourself often skipped eating for days.
Your life with Giyuu settled into a new routine. 
You spread your couch for him for a few days until you could get him a true bed. He always seemed surprised by these little gestures of… human kindness you displayed for him.
The first night on the couch, he’d hardly moved from sleeping on his back; the second he was turned onto the side; by the time a week went by, he’d relaxed enough to snuggle close to the green and yellow bunny plushie you had given him.
You took to feeding him twice a week, which always made his eyebrows twitch before he dug in. Though you followed some advice you found on the demon diet, you tried to incorporate salmon as much as possible, so he could enjoy his favorite meat. You found out he was quite the messy eater, bringing a smile to your face whenever you had to gently wipe off the fish scales or other raw bits off of his cheeks.
Since his hair started to tame down a little from its tangled mess - though the baths he’d taken helped too - you thought the diet was a success.
You ordered some clothes for him. Most of them fit him, some were oversized, but all were made for comfort. Sweatpants, cotton shirts, one hoodie for when the weather became colder, some underwear and socks. You would take him shopping for a pair or two of shoes later, as he’d come bare-footed, as well as buying him more clothes that fit him properly - and also maybe jeans and a dress-shirt, for other occasions... What you received through mail would be enough for now.
The bed arrived. Your flat wasn’t that big, forcing you to put his bed in the living room corner instead of his own room. You tried to give him privacy, giving him several choices of different curtains and screens - of which he’d chosen a sliding-door type screen reminiscent of shoji doors.
Taking care of Giyuu gave you a strange satisfaction. Fulfilling his needs came to you like second nature, and you always pushed through your exhaustion to do things for him you would rarely do for yourself before he came into your life. 
You started to see merit in owning him when you actually went to take a shower after not showering for three days, thinking ‘I must be stinky to him’. You changed your sheets right after that and laid in your clean bed in a fresh set of clothes with your window open to let in the evening air. It was odd. You felt better somehow, despite the two basic actions taking up the rest of your energy.
Your eyes wandered to the door which led to the living room and wondered about Giyuu’s situation. At times it felt like the two of you were two sides of the same coin. Did either of you really have a purpose in life?
Did Giyuu truly deserve to have an owner like you - struggling with basic human needs?
Probably not.
But you were all he had.
With that depressing thought, you drifted off to sleep.
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Before you knew it, it was four months, nearly five, into your companionship arrangement. 
One thing you felt bad about was your hermit-type lifestyle. You worked from home as an editor, which was good for your mental health, and also for your new pet, as you were always home in case something happened. It had a bad side too though - like staying cooped up in the apartment forever. 
While you worked, you allowed Giyuu to stay in your room with you, setting up a small corner for him with a large beanbag, and a few books to read after you confirmed he was literate. At the moment, he was spread out over the chair on his back, reading through Game of Thrones for the nth time. He really seemed to like that book, perhaps you should get the next one in the series, though you never got to finish the first one, courtesy of your limited energy levels throughout the day.
Or perhaps - your thoughts flitted to the Demon Rights movement - you could see if there was a meet up somewhere nearby, so he could interact with other local demons. You remembered they sometimes did those…
You opened up your social media, the one you recently created solely to interact with the local DR group, and checked the upcoming events. It took a little bit of scrolling but you saw one that suited you. 
The Night Parade A.K.A. DR’s 13th Meet up!
It was in a park about 30 minutes away by foot, and the start was around an hour after sunset, which was perfect. The description encouraged people to bring their demon companions for much-needed socializing while the humans could see what others do to help their demons acclimate in homes and other living arrangements. 
The last sentence made your heart plummet down to your stomach.
A kindly reminder that demon companions are required to wear collars by law.
There was a link to their website which offered sustainable collars which didn’t hurt the demons while wearing it.
You saved your work and looked up more information about demon collars, immersing yourself in the vast world that was the Demon Rights site and other sources. Once you deemed yourself at least partially educated on the issue, you went back to the DR e-shop and scoured it for one you thought would be okay for your demon companion.
“Giyuu?” you glanced at him, the book he had been holding in his hand was bookmarked and closed, laying on the table you placed next to his beanbag. He’d been reading not a second ago, how was he so fast? At least he didn’t stand up as he had been prone to do the first month whenever you addressed him.
At times you wondered if he was mute, but then he surprised you by speaking with you in a low voice - which happened more often as he got comfortable. “Yes, owner?” 
“How do you feel about going outside?”
His eyebrows twitched, which you had come to interpret as excitement. You liked to think you were getting better at reading him. “Whatever you want to do, we will do, owner.”
You nodded. “Well… To go outside, you need to… wear a collar,” you said softly, looking at him and gauging his reaction. He gave away nothing. “And, well, I did my research and there were multiple options and I found one that might-” You beckoned him closer and he practically shot to your side, very nearly startling you. “Oh! Yes, do you think this one would be alright?” You scooted a little to the side with your chair, letting him lean in to see the screen. 
It was a relatively plain collar, with nichirin cord hidden in the fabric, and though the locking mechanism was very simple it abided by the law standards. There were no wisteria poison pouches nor electric shock add-ons as your ‘normal’ ‘pet shop’ might offer. The e-shop offered several color options as well.
You watched him as he read the specifications. Was it too much? Maybe you should get just a plain one for other ‘pets’ and try to disguise it as a proper collar. 
Still… it felt wrong to put a collar on Giyuu, as if he were an animal. The thought of degrading him like this made your stomach churn.
“Can I-?”
“Go ahead.”
He took the mouse and clicked on the wine red option. Giyuu stood up straight and looked at you blankly, waiting for you to understand what he meant.
Your eyes flitted between him and the screen, raising your eyebrow. “You want this one?” 
He nodded.
You supposed it was better than choosing a color for him. You quickly added it to the cart, along with a… leash. The whole situation made you feel icky.
Giyuu hovered over you for a moment longer, before you waved him off to his seat with a mutter of ‘thanks’ over your shoulder.
A deep sigh left you, and though you didn’t see, he picked up on it, observing you for a long moment.
At times he wondered if it was him who burdened you so. He knew however that the problem lay deeper inside of you than just a pet like him. He could smell it on you, the lack of certain hormones that fueled human happiness. 
And just as he could smell the lack of them, he could recognize when their levels spiked up - like when you watched him reading in his little corner, or when you saw him dozing in his bed, or enjoying his meat. He also registered that you liked to see him grooming himself, like brushing his hair (rather wrestling it into a manageable mane) and putting oils onto his horns.
His horns, and hair, had been dried out for a long while, the previous shelter not doing much to help out his problems. 
Thanks to your tender care and change of diet, he saw his water marks returning too. The one on his chest was the first to appear, the dark blue standing out against his skin. You had yet to notice.
That was the thing he prided himself in. He was not a mutt, as most people assumed. His coloring was a little unusual but he was of the Urokodaki line, Tomioka branch of Water demons. Giyuu was probably one of the last pure blood demons there were, making him stronger than others - if fed properly. And you did. You listened to him and fed him a fish-based diet for his needs.
You were the first owner who asked him about his opinion and cared about it. And that was one single fact which would make him loyal to death to you. He would gladly wear a collar with your name on it, outside and inside, with pride. 
Because he was yours, body and soul.
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You had nearly forgotten about the event until your calendar gave you a notification. The package from the e-shop had arrived only two days after you ordered it, and you had yet to open it, leaving it to collect dust. The uncomfortable feeling returned. You very much did not want to put a collar on Giyuu, it had to be humiliating - for him - and the last thing you wanted to do was make him out to be some sort of beast he certainly was not.
“Uhm, so,” you started nervously. “We are going out today…”
Giyuu was looking down at you head tilted slightly, as you stood by a small package on the counter. He remained silent.
“I’m really sorry but uhm, by law you need to have a collar… when we go out,” you reminded him gently, fumbling with the package. “I didn’t want to do it but I really need to. I’m so, so sorry. I hate to do this,” you took a deep breath to calm down as you finally took the collar out. 
It appeared high quality, the color matching the picture you remembered exactly. There was a complementary tag with Giyuu’s name and your phone number engraved on it; though very standard, it still made you upset. 
You fumbled with the lock mechanism to undo it so you could slip it on him. Giyuu kindly lifted his hair up when you reached around his neck to fasten it. You tightened the strap only slightly so it wouldn't chafe, checking with your fingers between the material and his cool skin if it was loose enough; it was. 
Electric shocks ran down his spine when you finally touched him - for the first time. You ran a little warmer than he did, and that pleasant contrast against him made the contact all the more enticing. He could not help but close his eyes, content. 
“I’m really sorry, once again,” you mumbled, turning back to the box to take out the matching leash you ordered along with it, tears of frustration filling your eyes.
Giyuu finally said, “I don’t mind.”
His words made you freeze.
“I can wear it at home too, if you’d like, owner.” 
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The walk to the park was dark, obviously, but you somehow didn’t fear the night with Giyuu by your side… on a leash.
I can wear it at home too, if you’d like, owner.
Why did his words not bother him at all? You were upset with yourself; did you really create an image of being possessive of him? Did he think you kept him at home because you didn’t want him to run?
The questions and emotions that followed kept swirling in your brain, even as Giyuu nearly breathed down your neck with his closeness despite giving him as much lead as you could. 
The park was closer than you thought. You weren’t the first to arrive, thank god, and you took a moment to admire the decorations, before you turned to Giyuu.
His horns gleamed in the soft light of the fairy lights that were put up by the organizers. His skin seemed to have a warm glow to it for the first time. Looking at him now, you could tell he became much healthier in your care and that made your heart squeeze. 
How cruel must his previous owners have been to him to reduce him into the wraith he had been when he came to you?
You shook your head and untucked the leash from his collar. Once on the event grounds, you were free to let the demon companions roam and socialize, and you did want Giyuu to have friends outside of you - if you could call yourself his friend at all.
You were his owner after all.
His dark blue eyes observed you for a moment, as if asking for permission or guidance.
“Giyuu, I want you to have fun with other demons here,” you told him softly, a complex mix of emotions stirring up your belly.
Giyuu could pick up on each and decipher them easily though - you were anxious, sad, yet your ‘happiness’ levels weren’t that low… It was a strange smell on you, especially with how you encouraged him to go ‘have fun’. 
But in the end, he strived to make you happy. If you wanted him to talk to others, he would do so.
You watched him walk away towards a group of demons further into the park. You had to tear your eyes away from him, lest you keep staring at him all evening. 
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Though he recognized some of the demons in the gathering, one in particular nearly made him pull a face. 
Shinobu.
The butterfly demon was a menace.
And she made herself known the second she spotted him.
“Oh my, if it isn’t Giyuu. I didn’t know shelters allowed mutts to roam the streets.”
He pressed his lips together in a tight line. Shinobu wasn’t blind, she saw he had a collar, and she knew, of course she knew, that he belonged to a human now. Yet she still chose to taunt him with these untrue things.
“I’m not a mutt,” he focused on the other false information she sprouted. He knew he looked different, but he was of purer blood than her, which she had yet to sense. His face mark had still not appeared either.
She grinned, “Keep telling yourself that and you might actually believe it. Where is the poor human who’s stuck with you?”
He tensed. He was not going to share anything about you with Shinobu of all people. 
“I bet the shelter had to pay them to take you so you would stop stinking up the place.”
“That’s not true,” he told her quietly, unwilling to make a scene and ruin your evening. For you will surely come running if you found him arguing with another demon.
“Not that you were worth much in the first place. Probably had to sweeten the deal somehow…”
Only your opinion of him mattered to him. He didn’t care about Shinobu’s grandstanding… but should she take your name into her mouth, he would surely not hold himself back.
“What, did you spread your legs for your owner to take you?”
“That is a false assumption, Miss Demon, and I would kindly suggest you shut up about things you know nothing about.”
Giyuu turned slightly towards you, not letting Shinobu out of his sight in case she tried something. His heart beat fast.
“Ara ara~ did I hit a nerve? My apologies~” Shinobu’s smile was empty of any emotion, yet it was obvious she felt she was right with her assumption. She checked her wrist as if she had a watch there. “It seems the time I had for you ran out. See ya~”
Watching Shinobu retreat brought Giyuu no satisfaction even as he stepped closer to you. He was tense, and he could smell your anger wafting off of you as well. 
Had you really come to his defense? He would not have let her talk badly about you, of course, but your presence and words warmed his heart. His chest feeling tight as the strong drumming of his pulse beckoned him to start a dance with you - one he was not sure he could finish just yet. Even so, his teeth ached with need.
His dark blue eyes finally met yours, an unknown emotion swirling in his stomach as he breathed in your scent. You were slowly calming down, shoulders relaxing. Oh, he felt he could purr when he realized it was his proximity that made it so, his face gaining a pleased flush hidden by the darkness of the night.
Giyuu stepped closer to you again, nearly leaning into you in a daze.
"Are you okay?" Your worried voice snapped him out of his trance.
You had defended him and now you were worried? Fuck. He wanted to show you he could protect you too, that he could care for you too, that he could provide for you too… 
"I am. I apologize for ruining your evening, owner," he tried to infuse as much of his devotion as he could into his voice, though it was not enough. It would never be enough. His brain whirled with thoughts of how he could show you how he felt for you.
You rushed to reassure him otherwise, making one of the parts inside him preen. “You didn’t ruin anything, Giyuu… What that demon said was uncalled for. If I knew who her… owner was, I’d have a talk with them.”
The situation truly made you mad. Giyuu might not have been as aware of her accusation, but you’d looked up everything the Demon Rights movement protested and felt sick at what you found. 
Demon prostitution.
Forced, of course.
You were glad he had been in the bath at the time, because your reaction had been so visible and uncontrolled you had to walk outside for a minute to breathe. 
The thought of you forcing Giyuu into that kind of thing made you feel even sicker inside as you calmed down in the cool outside air.
Your demon pressed close to you so close you could feel his reassuring warmth, his torso nearly touching your arm. You breathed in his scent and blinked slowly, lulled by his presence. 
A black haired man caught your eye. No, not man, a demon - a demon with an electric collar, one you quickly scrolled past when you saw it in the e-shop. He seemed to be snarling at another demon, a very pale blonde one, before a human woman touched his arm, speaking to him with a smile. 
You recognized the woman from the DR group - she was one of the organizers, Mrs Kamado.
You observed the interaction between the black haired demon and the organizer, realizing that the electric collar was needed for him. He seemed to have selective hearing and it was obvious that she didn’t use it heavily at all, choosing to talk him down instead… which seemed to be working.
“His name is Muzan.” 
You turned to the young man standing next to you. He had a scar on his forehead, his eyes and hair a dark color with shades of red gleaming through when the light hit him just right. “Sorry?”
“The demon is Muzan, he’s an old coot and a bit of a brat but he isn’t that bad,” he explained with a smile. “Oh, sorry. I’m Kamado Tanjiro, my parents are the ones who organized this.”
“It’s nice to meet you. My name is [Name],” you introduced yourself, fully focusing on him.
A click coming from behind you made your head snap around. Giyuu was standing there, looking away from you, seemingly uninterested in what was happening in front of him. You frowned in confusion, turning back to Tanjiro.
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Even with the hiccup at the start, you counted tonight as success. After your brief introduction to Tanjiro, who you learned was an University student at the Ubuyashiki University, he showed you around, guiding you through meeting many owners and demon companions throughout the night. You didn’t meet with the female demon who bothered Giyuu again, thankfully.
You dropped your keys into a bowl by the door with a tired sigh. All the socializing drained you.
You dropped Giyuu’s leash to take off your cross-body bag before you turned to him to take off his collar. You frowned, noticing the gleam of the metal lock seemed a bit dull compared to before.
No matter, you took off the leash and reached for the mechanism.
It did not budge.
You tried again, getting the same result.
“This is strange… Come with me,” you took his hand and led him to sit on your couch so you could see the collar properly in the light of your living room. 
The metal was scratched - badly. Your heart dropped into your stomach. Was there a physical fight between Giyuu and the female demon before you noticed them? How had it gotten so busted up? 
You tried to open it again and again, your attempts getting a little desperate as you tried to find a new angle.
Tears of frustration filled your eyes.
You never wanted to make Giyuu wear it. How were you going to take it off of him? It must be so insulting, being degraded into a pet. 
Fuck, you fucked up.
Pale warm hands covered yours, halting your efforts. Your eyes met his, the impossibly deep blue of Giyuu’s soul stared back at you. There was no fear, no judgment. He was looking at you kindly, as if it was not your fault, as if he wanted to reassure you. 
Your throat clogged up with emotion.
“I do not mind, owner,” he said lowly. “I don’t mind keeping it on at home.” 
You pressed your lips together in an unhappy line. “I’m sorry, Giyuu…”
His fingers grabbed your hands in a loose hold and he brought them up to his lips, nuzzling the knuckles gently with closed eyes. “Do not be, owner. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
You had nothing to be sorry for, because he had been the one to destroy the mechanism. You would have never allowed him to wear the collar at home, even if he asked. He had realized that while you were putting the collar onto him, and that’s why he did it.
It worked.
He smiled when you turned away from him.
After a shower, Giyuu laid in his bed, staring at the bunny you had given him when he first came to you. The pattern had reminded him of his old friend a little, but the scent had been yours, all yours. 
It was clear to him the bunny plushie had belonged to you before you gave it to him, even if you washed it before he received it.
Now months later, your scent was gone.
But he could easily imagine it as he hugged the bunny close to his chest. He could imagine it was your body against his, warming him; your scent, the one he breathed in today, that enveloped him in comfort and… something else.
There was a strange feeling in his gut that he ignored for the moment.
Would you hug him, if he asked for it? Would you scent the bunny plushie, if he asked for it? Would you become his bunny, if he asked for it?
He quickly backpedaled. 
His bunny?
He… quite liked that. You could be his bunny, and he would be your protector, as it should be.
The feeling in his belly spread into his chest, making him feel hot in his pajamas. Giyuu was confused as to what it could be, pondering on the issue as he snuggled the bunny even closer, imagining it was you.
What had happened differently today?
You gave him the collar, you went to the park, you walked back, you tried taking off the collar…
You touched him.
His hips bucked, making his eyes snap open. He was… humping the bunny unconsciously, thinking of you. 
Though Giyuu realized it was strange to do so, he continued, fantasy overtaking his mind as he closed his eyes again. Your body, pliable and warm under him; your voice, the pretty moans it could produce; your cunt, sopping wet about to be filled with his cu-
Oh fuck.
Giyuu realized what was happening.
He’d entered his heat.
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The morning came too early. 
Your clock read 10:36 AM when you groaned, knowing you won’t be able to sleep anymore. The least you could do was get up and do your hygiene, even if you didn’t feel that hungry for breakfast.
You tiptoed into the bathroom, the sight in the mirror nearly sending you back to bed. You had dark circles under your eyes, your cheeks puffy from sleep, and your hair messy. Nevertheless, you ran your hands through your hair to make it half-presentable, and brushed your teeth, checking your notifications on your phone. There was a friendship request on your social media from Tanjiro, which made you smile and quickly accept. 
By the time you were done with your teeth, you had already started up a conversation with him as he talked about the bakery his family owned. You promised to visit him, and the bakery, when you had the time.
The living room was dark, as it had been since you’d gotten Giyuu. You walked closer to check on him, the bit of light from your open bedroom door enough to see him by. 
He was snuggled with the plushie you’d given him. The cute sight brought a smile to your face, and you went to cover him back up with his blanket, when you noticed something odd. 
Giyuu was sweaty, his pajama shirt damp and his hair sticking to his face as he panted softly, noises of discontent leaving him as his brows furrowed.
You quickly stepped closer to him, sliding the shoji-like curtain along smoothly. You reached out to touch his forehead, worried.
Just as you felt the heat of his skin, his hand grabbed your wrist tightly. “Don’t,” he rasped out, his eyes opening a sliver, feverishly bright.
You frowned, “But Giyuu, you’re burning u-”
“You can’t-” he gasped when you pushed past his weak resistance and touched his sweaty forehead. Again, he tried to fight your hand on him. “You can’t touch me.” 
“What? Why can’t I?” you pulled back slightly, trying to respect his boundaries but also worried out of your mind, leaning over to look him in the eyes.
He let out a strangled sound, nearly crawling back in the bed away from you. His face was flushed a deep red as you reached for him again. “I’m in heat.” He pushed his bunny plushie against you, but you only set it aside and grabbed his wrist. “S-stop touching me, I- I can’t-” 
I can’t hold myself back, is what he wanted to say. Giyuu had wanted to say a lot of things before touching you properly. He had wanted to court you, to give you proper courting gifts and attention, to show you he could be a good mate. This unplanned heat triggered by your touch last night was throwing a stick into his plans. 
He wanted you, he needed you.
You were oblivious to his thoughts, worried out of your mind. “But isn’t the heat painful? Why don’t you take off your shirt?” You didn’t press forward but still gave him no room to escape. “I want to help you, Giyuu.”
Did you even know what you were saying? What your words were doing to him? His face flushed an even deeper red.
You misinterpreted his blush for embarrassment and your thoughts raced in circles. How could you make him more comfortable?
“Why don’t I take off my shirt too? Look,” you quickly discarded the oversized shirt you slept in, leaving you in your panties as you knelt in front of him on his bed. “Now your turn.”
Giyuu was stupefied, and pliable, as you sat him up and took off his shirt as well, making you gasp. His chest was half-covered with demon markings of deep blue imitating water in the way they flowed and centered - it was like an artist splashed him with color and left it to dry. 
Your fingers reached out to trace one such mark going over his heart, making him shiver. You glanced up at his face to check if he was alright.
Giyuu seemed to be in a trance, staring at your exposed chest. The sight made you blush as you finally realized the situation you were in.
“Can I touch you?” he asked roughly, his voice raspy.
“I- okay…” you assented in confusion.
Once he’d gained permission he nearly attacked your chest with a hunger previously unknown to you. His hands cupped your breasts and his hot tongue laved at the skin, quickly getting to one of your nipples to circle the areola. His lips closed around it, sucking it harshly, making you cry out in pain. 
“Stop!”
As if burned, Giyuu pulled back, saliva connecting your nipple and his glistening lips, a teary eyed expression on his face.
The sight hurt your heart, and you sighed, giving up. “Just be gentle, okay?”
He nodded and licked your nipple much more gently, staring you in the eyes the whole time, gauging your face for any discomfort.
There was none, the texture of his tongue sending sparks of pleasure down your spine. You breathed out shakily, closing your eyes as you arched your back slightly, offering him more, urging him to continue.
Giyuu hummed against your flesh, making you shiver, his thumb stroking the unattended nipple softly. Your breath hitched, and you gripped his pajama pants tightly, the slight shift of the fabric giving him enough stimulation to moan. It reminded you that there was something more stiff than your nipples.
Your hand trailed up, cupping his hardness. He bucked his hips, moaning into your chest as you started to pump his shaft through the pants, wetness gathering at the tip.
Giyuu cursed under his breath, switching to the other nipple to give them equal attention with his gentle sucking, whining when you squeezed the tip of his cock a little, his teeth grazing your breast.
You very nearly whimpered when he did that. In retaliation the hand stroking his cock grabbed the hem of his pants instead, your other hand reaching inside to stroke his length unobscured. 
Giyuu had to pull back from your breast lest he bite down as he groaned through his teeth, resting his forehead on your collarbone, his tongue darting out to lick at your skin while his thumbs continued to play with your nipples. He could hardly resist leaning more into you, rising to his knees and burying his head in your neck, hot open-mouthed kisses trailing all over you as your head fell back, giving him more access. 
He laved at your skin, kissing it, sucking on it, creating deep hickeys as he pleased, the sensation drawing low whines and moans from your throat.
Then, he bit down on your pulse point gently.
Your hold on his cock tightened, the next stroke rougher than before.
“Don-Don’t! I’m about to-!” You quickly let go. He groaned loudly, as if in pain when your hand retreated from his pants. “Please, I need-!”
Your face felt hot, his desperate state made you so turned on you didn’t know what to do with yourself, except squeeze your thighs together. “What do you need, Giyuu?”
He felt as if he wanted, no, needed to eat you up, as if you were prey and him a predator - as it should have been before demons turned into glorified pets. 
But the feeling was too other to be just hunger; it was also thirst, for the sweet sounds you made when he marked you up, for an even sweeter sound you would make when he bit you and claimed you as his own.
“T-turn over, owner. I need you,” he told you breathlessly, his voice gaining a raspier quality as he pawed at your hips, claws retracted. You’d told him you would help him, didn’t you? Well, he was asking for that help now.
The panties you wore were soaked, and you knew what exactly he wanted you to do. You knelt in front of him and took the panties off, obeying his request and turning around to offer yourself to him on your hands and knees.
There was the sound of fabric being ripped apart before his hand grabbed your ass, thumb digging in as he pulled your flesh back just enough to expose your pussy. “I’m sorry, I just- I just need you.”
Giyuu slid the tip of his cock between your pussy lips, gathering your juices and spreading his precum all over, before he finally started to push in. He let out a shaky, drawn out moan. 
The stretch burned slightly, and you could do nothing but grip the sheets under your hands and push back against him, wanting more. 
“Sh-shit-” He bottomed out, his length pushing against something that made your arms give out and you fell forward, your forearms now supporting your weight.
“Can’t help myself-” he pulled out halfway before slamming back in, a whine leaving his throat at the feeling. His hands held your hips in a bruising grip. 
Then, he set a rough and fast pace. He fucked you like a beast unleashed, like you were his fucktoy, his thrusts uncoordinated and sloppy - disharmonic, desperate. 
You clenched your eyes shut as fireworks sparked behind your eyelids as the heat built up between the two of you. Giyuu was near-painfully thick and long. Even inexperienced, his dick hit all the right places, drawing breathy moans past your lips quietly. 
He himself became non-verbal, panting and keening lowly as he tried to chase his ecstasy. He leaned forward, his right arm supporting his weight just over your shoulder, left hand snaking around to stroke your puffy clit in tight circles, completely out of rhythm with his thrusts. His lips placed open mouthed kisses on your shoulders, nibbling on the flesh and sucking hickeys, staking his claim as the knot in your belly tightened.
Then, near the height of your pleasure, you felt a pinch at the junction of your shoulder and neck. 
As if triggered, your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, making you quiver in Giyuu's tight embrace, even as he still rocked his hips against yours in frantic tight circles, keening against the bite in your shoulder. Each thrust inside sent another wave of pleasure, until you did not know when one ended and another began. You could hardly form a thought, only sounds you vaguely recognized as yours left your throat.
Warmth spilled inside of you after an erratic series of rough thrusts, his arms hugging you tightly, putting his whole weight on you.
The slight pain in your shoulder faded as Giyuu pulled back to lick the bite gently. His half-lidded eyes stared as his saliva closed the punctures, slightly discolored flesh covering the mating bite mark.
Your eyes felt heavy and you were tired, but his cock was still hard even after finishing…
"Can- can I-?" 
You closed your eyes. "Mhm, if it'll make you feel better…"
His arms let up a little, laying his forehead between your shoulder blades. "You're tired…" 
There was no use denying it. "Yes. But, doesn't it hurt?" You rolled your hips experimentally; his hands gripped your body tighter as if to stop you.
"We can stay like this… I don't mind," he said, his cock twitching. Giyuu rolled you both onto your sides, staying inside. The movement made your inner muscles spasm and he bucked his hips. "Fuck… perhaps, only a little…" 
In contrast to his pace before, he rocked into you gently and slowly, letting you feel every inch without overwhelming you.
"This okay?" he asked in a strained voice. You only hummed in response, enjoying the intimacy.
Giyuu spilled his seed twice more into you as you half-dozed in his warm embrace, letting out a high pitched whine once in a while at the overstimulation, yet he could not stop - not until you were overfilled and it was seeping out around his dick.
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You must have drifted off at some point, the next thing you remembered was Giyuu kissing your shoulder gently, muttering, “Mhm, good morning… or evening.” 
You sighed out, relaxing in the warmth of his embrace. “How you feelin’?”
“Perfectly fine, or at least a little better,” he whispered, nuzzling into you.
You were sore, and the stickiness of dried sweat and cum on you started to bother you quickly. You wanted a shower. 
You tapped his arm with your finger and made to move away from him.
“No, no, don’t move yet,” his voice was strained as his cock twitched inside of you. “I won’t be able to control myself-”
You smiled tiredly and arched your back a bit, pushing your ass against him.
“Ye-es, fuck-” His hips rutted forward, muttering “Yes, yes, yes-” like a mantra, his arms tightening around you as he chased his pleasure inside of you yet again, his and your cum from before enough lubrication for what he did.
Your muscles were sore but you let him do as he pleased, his moans and heavy breathing making you feel hot all over. You knew you wouldn’t be able to finish but you didn’t mind, his noises bringing you a delight of its own.
Your hand came up to caress his arms gently as he fucked you, a whine leaving his throat at the tender touch, the next few thrusts sloppier and more forceful before he slammed as deep as he could with a shaky groan. Heat filled you again as he came.
You smiled widely as he panted, pulling out and making his seed spill over your thighs.
His hold became looser as he pressed soft kisses on your back and shoulders. “Sorry…”
You hummed, “There is no need to apologize. I could use a shower though, you coming with me?”
“Yes.” Giyuu opened his arms as you stood up. You were grateful your floors weren’t covered by a carpet, so any splatters his semen would make could be mopped up. 
After a long hot shower, where he made sure to knead your muscles and wash your back for you gently, you wrapped yourself in a towel, and went to the kitchen to grab something to eat, your tummy rumbling with hunger.
Perhaps Giyuu needed some meat too? 
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It was nearly two months later when you could attend another DR meetup (15th, you missed one during that time due to a deadline you nearly forgot). You’d kept in contact with Tanjiro, quickly becoming close friends as he complained about managing Muzan and you about ‘adulting’. 
You didn’t reveal the fact that you started sleeping with Giyuu. After that first night, it seemed as if a dam had broken, and he became clingy and needy for you nearly every chance he got, going as far as distracting you during work with neck kisses and warming your pussy with his cock. 
It was not all about the sex either, he started going with you when you went out to shop for groceries, no matter the time of the day, keeping close to you like a dark protector and glaring at anyone who dared to look at you wrong.
You thought it was strange but let it be. He wasn’t harming anyone so it was probably fine.
“If it isn’t [Name]!” Tanjiro greeted you with a hug, earning him a low hiss from Giyuu. Tanjiro offered him a handshake, which Giyuu took, but you could see the amount of effort he had to spend to not crush Tanjiro’s hand, making you laugh a little. It was cute how protective he was of you.
Muzan was arguing with Douma, the pale blond demon from last time, a few steps away from the Kamado family, while Nezuko tried to drag him back to the organizers. Douma was smiling as his own owner - a ginger-haired woman - hugged him from behind to pull him away. 
You spent a small while talking to each of the Kamado siblings, asking about school and such, when Muzan joined your little group.
He took one look at you and scoffed loudly. “I can’t believe you mated with that loser.”
Everything stopped. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared wide-eyed at him. “What?”
He rolled his gleaming red eyes in annoyance. “Are you stupid? Your loser of a demon, you mated with him.” Muzan shook his head and crossed his arms, staring at you down his nose.
You could only blink a few times, slowly turning to Giyuu.
“I- what?”
Giyuu had an innocently impassive look on his face, as if nothing was wrong. You could see, however, with your trained eye that there was a bright blush adorning his ears and a drop of sweat disappearing under his collar. He remained silent.
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AN: I want to credit the idea for Muzan as a bratty demon of the Kamado family to @sunandflame because she was the first one who came up with it, among other ideas we brainstormed while talking about this at first.
I'm a bitch so there will be part 2 in the far future when I get the horny for it.
dividers made by the amazing @/benkeibear (I love you, Rhy)
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thebearer · 5 months
Text
the milestone menu: roasted red pepper and tomato soup for sad days
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prompt: the death of mikey's anniversary is near. you make a comfort meal for carmen.
contains: mentions of death. angty with a side of fluff (at the end). anxious!carmen (i mean ofc).
INGREDIENTS
3 red bell peppers. 4 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, chopped. An onion, chopped. 2 garlic cloves, minced
1 1/2 tsp thyme. 2 tsp paprika. A pinch of sugar. Salt & pepper. Cayenne
1/2 cup Chicken broth. 2 tbsp butter. 1 1/2 tbsp flour.
DIRECTIONS
Cover peppers in oil, broil until black, turn to get all sides. Put them in a paper bag to rest, the skin & seeds should come off easily. Chop. Heat oil on med heat in a large pot, cook garlic & onions until soft. Add tomatoes, peppers, thyme, paprika, and sugar. Cook on med-low, until most of the liquid has evaporated, about 20 minutes. Stir in 6 cups of chicken stock, salt & pepper. Bring to boil & simmer for 20 mins, until the vegetables are tender. Strain soup. Use a food processor or blender, and blend solids to your desired consistency. In your large pot, melt butter & add flour. Add soup/purée and stir, simmer for a few minutes.
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“Hey, baby,” Carmen’s voice came to you before he did. A heavy sigh, tired and heavy from the day, from the looming anniversary approaching. 
Mikey’s death date was creeping closer and closer, the days darker and colder as did Carmen’s demeanor. Longer days at work, distant even when he was home with you. You worried about him, though everyone told you not to. 
“He just… he gets like this when it gets closer to the date, you know?” Richie muttered when you’d confided in him at family dinner. “We all get kinda fucked up, but Carm… That’s just how he is, y’know? Just give’im some time.” 
Anchovy purred, rubbing against Carmen’s leg. It was almost like he knew. Carmen would swear he did, that he could sense his owner’s upset, that he was trying to make it better. He’s like you, Carmen would say, giving you a half grin that always had you swooning. 
Carmen frowned when he didn’t see you lingering about. Not in the doorway smiling at them, leaning in for a kiss, wrapping him in a hug. “Babe?” Carmen called again, looking down the hall. The lights were on in the kitchen, a small clinking of bowls and silverware. 
Carmen found you in front of the stove, trying to keep quiet, stirring a pan on the burner gently. “Hey,” He frowned when you jumped, turning around with a wide eyed gaze, like you’d been caught. 
“Carm,” You chirped, body shimmying in front of the stove, too close to the flame in a too loose shirt. Carmen fought the urge to tell you to move or tuck your shirt in. 
“You’re-You weren’t supposed to be home early.” You turned to the clock blinking on the microwave. “I-I thought you weren’t going to be home for another hour.” 
“Richie told me to leave.” Carmen frowned, trying to peer around you. 
“Why?” You blocked his view with your body, a side step in front of him. 
“‘Cause he’s a fuckin’ jaggoff lately. What’re you doin’?” Carmen huffed lightly, grabbing your waist gently, holding you in place so he could see around you. A large pot on the stove, bubbling to life, steam clouding the clear lid that covered it. 
“I’m cooking.” You huffed, shoulders deflating lightly. “I-I was going to surprise you. I had this whole thing planned, and I got candles and I was going to change out of this.” You threw your hands down on your sweatshirt- Carmen’s sweatshirt. One from Copenhagen he’d picked up when it was especially cold. You’d stolen in, not that he minded, he liked you better in it anyways. 
“Was going to at least try to look a little nice.” You mutter, wiping off a small stain, a glob of tomato that had flung when the processor lid wouldn’t come off earlier. 
“You look beautiful, c’mon.” Carmen shook his head at you. “What’re you- Why’re you doin’ all this?” His heart skipped for a moment, looking at the calendar pinned on the fridge. “Did I- We didn’t have plans?” Fuck, he’d been so busy he’d forgotten. Head everywhere but where it needed to be. First he was fuckin’ up dishes left and right at work, and now he couldn’t even remember a fuckin’ date. 
“No,” You shook your head, stilling Carmen’s racing mind. “I just… I wanted to do something nice.” You looked up at him, hands grabbing him sweetly, holding them in your own. “For you.”
“For me?” Carmen whispered, swallowing around the tightness in his throat, in his chest. “What’re you talkin’ about for me? What-Why would you wanna-” 
“Because,” You shrugged lightly, hands swinging between the two of you gently. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.” 
Carmen saw the hesitation on your face, knew what was coming before you said it. He tensed in your hold. “I just… With everything-” 
“-Don’t.” Carmen shook his head, the burn in his throat strangling his voice. “You don’t have to, baby.” 
“I do.” Your eyes met his, rounding in his gaze. “I want to. I-I don’t really think it will help, but… I don’t know. Whenever I was sad my mom would make this for me.” You nod back towards the pot on the stove. “It always made me feel better.” 
Carmen thought he might cry. He willed himself, squeezing your hands, pulling you into his chest to hold you. He just needed to hold you, to feel you, pressing his nose to your scalp, inhaling your scent. 
All the emotions he’d repressed, swallowed down and tried to power through. Anytime he’d turn the corner, see Mikey’s smiling face on the fall and he’d feel like breaking down. Screaming, crying, punching the walls, pulling his hair out, ears ringing and heart hammering; instead, he’d go to the walk-in to breathe through collapsing lungs.
You felt Carmen’s shaky breath, rattle out of his chest and shake into yours. Your hand rubbed gently against his back, up his spine in a soothing way you hoped would calm him. 
“I’m sorry.” You whispered, cheeks pressed against his chest. His heart raced in your ear, a pounding thud that made your own heart squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Carm.” 
“It’s alright.” Carmen gritted, jaw clenching, willing his tears back. “It’s-it’s just a lot. I don’t even fuckin’ know why. Why-Why I even get like this when-when it’s been so long.” 
“Don’t do that.” You shook your head, frowning at him lightly. 
“No, no it’s true. I- fuck, I shouldn’t be-” 
“-Carmen,” You held his gaze firmly. His red rimmed blue eyes met yours, a little wary, vulnerable. You softened, fingers brushing through his hair. “It’s ok.” 
The finality in your voice, soft but certain, it made Carmen’s jaw shake, emotions bubbling over. He held you, rocking side by side in the kitchen, cries muffled into your shoulder. You held him back, just as tight, cooing shushes over the hums of the appliances, his tears wet on his sweatshirt- your sweatshirt. 
“Don’t expect a lot.” You gave a small, teasing smile over your shoulder. 
Carmen had settled into his usual seat at the small kitchen table. He’d sheepishly wiped his tears, letting you dote on him sweetly. Kiss his tears away, soft lips pressing to his wet cheeks, his nose, pulling him in so his lips were on yours, arms still tangled around the other. 
“It’s not, like, gourmet or anything.” You shook your head, ladling out the hot liquid into a bowl. “It is my Nana’s recipe though.” 
“Better than gourmet then?” Carmen’s voice was raspy with dried tears, though he smiled lightly. Bright enough to warm your heart, leave you smiling, plating the grilled cheese. 
“She’d love that you said that.” You grin, setting the steaming bowl and sandwich in front of him. You leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, a hand running down the back of his neck lovingly. 
He burned at the simplicity, the sweetness of it all. So loving and affectionate freely, without any strings attached. Mikey would’ve loved you, Carmen was so sure of it. 
“This is good.” Carmen nodded, swallowing his spoonful. 
“Yeah?” You grinned proudly, positively beaming. 
Of course it was good, the best fuckin’ thing he’s ever had. It came from you, so it only made sense it was. Carmen didn’t say that. Instead, he smiled, reaching over for your hand, squeezing it across the table. “Yeah. Amazing. Just what I needed.” He swallowed another wave of tears, happier this time. “Thank you for, uh, for doin’ this.” 
“I’m glad you like it.” You propped your head in your free hand, a lopsided, lovey smile that warmed Carmen from the inside out. He knew his cheeks were blushing, tingling pink under your affectionate gaze. 
“It’s really good.” Carmen took another spoonful, the warmth spilling down his throat, soothing his chest. “Sorry I came home early and didn’t call. I just… I’ve been out of my mind, y’know? I’m sorry about that too, it’s-it’s not fair to you, and-” 
“-Carm,” You squeezed his hand lightly, fingers intertwining with his. “I’m glad you like it.” You smile sweetly. 
Carmen nodded, leg still shaking under the table. He didn’t let go of your hand, held it in an iron grip like a lifeline and you let him, thumb sweeping over his inked knuckles calmly. 
If Mikey could see him now, he’d be howling in laughter, cackling at Carmen at how “whipped” he was. Mercilessly tease him for being “soft” in a way that only a big brother could. But he knew Mikey would be so proud, so fuckin’ happy that Carmen found you- that Carmen had someone like you.
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allfearstofallto · 3 months
Note
Okie so we've had childe meeting scara's wife, but what about scara meeting childe's wife for the first time? If not can we hear more about the first one?
- 🍓
You are so right strawberry!! My dumbass really forgot that I could write the scenario going the other way!!
Scaramouche Meeting Childe's Wife
Yandere Childe! x reader x Yandere(?) Scaramouche
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After almost a year of Childe fawning over you, the look of disinterest his coworker gave you was rather refreshing. The man, only a head shorter than Childe and obviously much more frail looking, had a scowl that could kill. You wondered how long it took to get a look that aggressive, but somehow still elegant on his delicate features.
“And this is my lovely wife!” Childe said rather excitedly and the man merely rolled his eyes.
“It's very nice to meet you,” you muttered softly, he didn't have much in the way to say back. Despite the cold of Snezhnaya he was wearing a shirt that barely went down to his elbows, shorts, and sandals. The cold of Snezhnaya wasn't normal, it felt like the air was biting you. You couldn't even leave the house without a few good layers, yet here he was walking through it with ease, “You're not dressed well for the weather.”
Another glare was shot your way, his eyes colder than the snow, “Skip the pleasantries. I'm here because I have to be. Don't pretend you want to speak with me.”
You didn't even dare look at Childe after the man spoke. He was always so quick to anger, especially when it came to you. Childe had very few loyalties in his life, one of them being the Tsaritsa, the other being you. He often told you how easily he could and would turn on anyone else if needed be, and it seemed this coworker was going to be no different.
“Number six,” you could hear that he was forcing the words through gritted teeth, “Perhaps I wasn't clear when I told you that I love my wife more than anything in this world.”
“You were clear. But perhaps I didn't care,” the man was bold, you'd give him that. And despite how rude he was being he still walked further into the home, taking off the large ornate hat he was wearing and letting you finally see how beautiful his silky, indigo hair was.
Childe followed soon after and the two of them went to talk. You could already tell that he wasn't completely friendly with this coworker, out of the many you'd met. You knew more harbingers than the average person did in a lifetime, more than you wanted to as well, but this one was the first one you'd seen be blatantly disrespectful.
But as they sat and chatted amongst themselves about missions and quite honestly, things you didn't understand, your mind still thought about how underdressed the man was. There was no way Childe would let him stay overnight, not with the way he was acting and Snezhnaya only got colder when the sun was down. You didn't want to just send him out into the elements.
“Could you bring me a spare jacket, and maybe some snow pants and boots,” you asked a maid and she was quick to drop what she was doing to scurry off and find things for you. In less than thirty minutes, everything was handed to you, neatly folded.
The meeting only lasted two hours and both Childe and his co-worker were leaving the office. You wondered if he ever got sick of scowling so much. Or if he ever even showed interest in anything at all.
Childe was walking faster than usual, probably trying to quickly get the man out of the house, but you stopped him, holding up the clothes that you'd acquired. The way both men looked at you made your heart sink to your ass, your orange haired husband had so much fury in his eyes from your kindness to the other, but didn't stop you.
“It's…it’s just cold out there,” you muttered, hoping that Childe would understand your explanation. He allowed the other man to take the clothes, a gentle smirk on his face.
Throughout the whole day, you'd never seen him with anything but his usual frown, you weren't even aware that he could smile, “Such thoughtfulness. I see why number eleven is interested in you,”
The door to the home was opened and the man ushered out. He was still holding the items you'd given him, not wearing them, but you didn't want to tell him to stop. Not while Ajax was looking at you so angrily. You didn't want to cause even more misunderstandings.
“Scaramouche,” he said while still walking out the door. You must've made a noise of confusion because he elaborated, “I'm called Scaramouche. And I'll see you soon.”
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501 notes · View notes
zayneslady · 3 months
Note
Hickey prank on LDS boys
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warnings: fluff, pranks, someone nearly cries but all good in the end. Someone is a bit suggestive, but nothing explicit.
characters: Zayn, Rafayel, Xavier x reader (separately)
a/n: at first I wasn't sure how to write kdkdf I hope you guys like it though! Also thank you so much for being so supportive of me I love you all 💕💕💕💕
Classification: scenarios
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Zayne ❄️
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You couldn't help but giggle quietly to yourself as you made your way to his office. You made sure to cover your neck appropriately as you entered the hospital and greeted some familiar faces. This was possibly one of the dumbest jokes you had ever come up with, what kind of expression would Zayne make when he saw a hickey on your neck?
He was a meticulous man, he always tried to leave marks where no one could see them, he knew that it was not appropriate for other people to see them and, although he wanted to mark you as his, he more than anything respected you. 
So what would he say when he saw a hickey in a place he would never leave it? 
“Are you going to stand there until I open the door for you?" You jumped in surprise when the door suddenly opened and Zayne appeared in front of you, an eyebrow raised and a small smirk playing on his lips. 
You pouted, “hello to you too, Dr. Zayne.” 
He chuckled quietly, grabbing your hand and kissing your palm. “Hello. Come in.”
He let you in and closed the door behind him. You unceremoniously dragged a chair next to his and sat beside him, making him roll his eyes warmly as he sat himself and went to work right away. Zayne. He seemed especially busy that day; you bit your lip to hide a smile as you removed your scarf with a huff. 
“Your office is a little hot, Zayne. Are not you hot?" 
“No. The temperature is just right," he raised his face and your heart skipped a beat when he looked at you. "In any case, aren't you covered up too much?" 
You pulled the collar of your shirt as much as possible to show the hickey you had painted on yourself, but Zayne didn't seem to notice. 
“It's cold outside, Dr. Zayne and I don't see a jacket here? Did you come only with your sweater? It's going to be colder la-
He put his thumb in his mouth and licked it lightly as he leaned closer to you. Your breathing stopped as he lifted your chin with his other hand to look at your neck.
You blushed slightly. "Z-Zayne... I'm so sorry, I didn't- 
You jumped as you felt his thumb against your skin. And without further ado, he smudged the hickey with his thumb. 
“Sorry,” he said, lowering your chin to look at you. The mischievous little smirk on his lips made you nervous. “You had something on your neck,” he said, and after a breath, he moved closer to your ear. "Next time you try to prank me…,” he whispered, lips brushing against the sensitive skin, making you shiver, "... you could work a little harder on your little drawings. I am a doctor. I can perfectly tell a bruise from a little paint stain. Nice try, princess." He kissed your neck, biting in it gently. 
You sighed, “you are no fun.”
Zayne chuckled against your skin. "Maybe I should give you a real one as reference?"
"N-No, Zayne. I'm sorry, I- ngh! S-Someone will hear us!”
“Not if you're a quiet good girl.”
You should've known better. 
Rafayel 🐠
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It was all Rafayel's fault. He always made stupid comments about other people to make you jealous. Obviously you had to get revenge somehow to shut up his big mouth. 
The mark on your neck was subtle and you thought it looked like the real thing. Perfect. It wasn't long before Rafayel arrived from his errands. As soon as he walked through the door, your neck was going to be in plain view with that little hickey that he was going to know immediately that he didn't do it.
Hehehe. The perfect plan! 
Your heart raced when you hear the beeps outside the door. He was here! 
“Ugh, I'm tired!” He said as soon as he entered the house. “I hate running errands.” 
“Welcome back, Rafayel!” You said excitedly. “How did it go?”
“I'm back… it was alright. I just didn't- is that a hickey?” 
You gasped, covering the hickey with your hand. “Fuck. I forgot to cover it…”
“Cover it? Why would you? Didn't I- wait… are you cheating on me?” 
You got up from your spot on the sofa. “I'm so sorry, Rafayel! It's just… you were away and I- 
He sighed, “I can't believe you,” he rubbed his face. He really looked angry. “So you're saying everytime I was away you were having affairs? I won't tolerate this. Look, I'll be out for a while, plenty time for you to grab your stuff and leave. I don't want to see you here anymore.”
Your eyes widened. This was not part of the plan! Rafayel walked out the door and you couldn't move or speak. You had ruined it! Panting, you finally found strength and ran towards the door. 
“No, Rafayel! Wait please this is not what it seems!” You opened the door and collapsed against his chest. Breathlessly looking up at him, he was grinning mischievously. 
“Do you really think I'd fall on your little tricks? Don't be silly. You can't prank me!” You blinked and little tears blurred your vision as you wrapped your arms around his waist and hid your face against his chest.
He chuckled, “there, there. Maybe next time you won't do something silly like this, hmm?” 
You shook your head. Definitely never again.
Xavier ⭐
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As you perfected the small spot on your neck, you couldn't help but think that maybe you were doing a little wrong. Poor Xavier, he hasn't even woken up and you were already thinking of pranking him… but he was always so serious, you wanted to see the kind of face he would make when he saw that there was a hickey on your neck.
He wasn't one to mark you (on the contrary, he liked it better when you marked him), so he was definitely going to be surprised. You jumped a little when you heard his footsteps in the room and you quickly went to the kitchen to make coffee. As if attracted by the smell, Xavier appeared in the kitchen in an instant and you turned around with a steaming cup of coffee in your hands.
“Good morning, sunshine,” you greeted him with a bright smile.
“Good morn-
His arms that were reaching out to hug you froze halfway while his eyes fell on your neck. You tried not to smile as you covered the area.
“X-Xav… I can explain it. It's just that-
“Why are you cheating on me? Did I do something?”
You shook your head. “You didn't do anything, it's just… this person was really pretty and you know how you were away on your mission? I just - Xavier, are you crying?”
His eyes became glassy and, although no tears were running down his cheeks, you could see those salty droplets gathering at the bottom edge of his eyes. You didn't know how, but in a second you put the cup aside and your arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him tightly.
"It was a joke," you murmured tearfully. "Look, it's makeup," you said, only removing your hand to rub the mark on your neck and make it disappear. “I'm sorry. That was stupid, wasn't it? I didn't think it would hurt you so much, I'm so sorry.”
He listened to you carefully and gently touched the skin of your neck. Then he let out a small giggle.
“I see… it is a little fun, but please don't do anything like this again.”
You smiled softly, shaking your head. “I won't. I promise.”
684 notes · View notes
skzhua · 4 months
Text
if i leave, which i must do
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MASTERLIST
pairing: han jisung x female!reader
genre: fluff, angst, isekai, portal universe, strangers-to-lovers.
word count: 29,083
warnings: swearing, car accident, mentions of death, mentions of sex, suggestive. (proofread-ish)
summary: a movie night by yourself turned out to be an unexplainable experience as you got stuck in the film you were watching. it was a true nightmare until you found jisung to help you.
a/n: one of my favourites ever! it took me so long to finish it but i can't be any prouder. i really hope you enjoy it!
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Being sick was one of the things you hated the most, and there wasn't much you hated. Having a cold meant having to cough every five minutes to clear your throat or blowing your nose all the time to the point it got red from how irritated it was. One perk, however, was that you could use it as an excuse to skip work. Getting to stay at home to do nothing was everything your lazy nature would dream of. Plus, your love for movies and cinema came handy when all you could do was watch films all day.
So when you began to feel your throat getting dryer and your nose building up snot, you couldn't be any happier. The office you worked at had given you very strict deadlines and you'd been working your ass off for weeks to meet their expectations. By taking the next day off, it would give you a very much needed break since all of your documents would be given to someone else to finish them. 22 years old was too young to be doing this much, you thought. But you needed the money so you had to settle for that, only temporarily.
First thing you did when you got home that day was to open all the windows of your apartment, not considering your poor rabbit in her playpen who didn't ask for any cool air. It might not have helped much in making sure you would stay sick the next day but you gave yourself credits for trying nonetheless.
Afterwards, you hurried yourself to get changed into your pyjamas you loved so much and order food since you had no energy to cook. Once your order arrived, it didn't take you long to get settled on the couch to get ready for a movie night on your own. Before doing anything, you still made sure you had everything — meaning your food, water, your blankets, cutlery for your meal, etc. — and then grabbed your remote to turn the television on. As you browsed through Netflix's selection of recommended films for you, you realized how the movies on there became repetitive and you had seen most of them. Still, you continued to scroll in hopes something would be eye-catching enough to you. But none seemed good enough. Annoying, your food was getting colder by the minute.
You were about to move onto another streaming platform until you read a synopsis that grabbed your curiosity. It followed the journey of a struggling artist in his early 20s who can't seem to find the inspiration for his music, all while having to face his personal issues called becoming an adult. This was not the type of movies you would usually go for which made you wonder why it even caught your eye. The duration was an hour and fifty minutes and that was also not what you'd go for on a daily basis. Besides that, heavy subjects as these ones felt a bit much for a Wednesday night. However, you weren't going to work the morning after so fuck it. Happy with your choice, you grabbed your plate and brought it closer to you to dig into it and clicked on the play button.
The opening scene showed a young boy — not much older than seven if you had to guess — playing in a playground with a few friends. Some credits appeared on screen as the mellow score played in the background. As the children continued to laugh loudly, a woman's voice could be heard calling out a "Han Jisung". The boy turned around to see his mother walk up to him as she informed him that it was time to head back home. The boy shook his head violently, insisting on staying longer to play. The woman repeated herself but unlike what she would've liked, her son refused to budge and headed to the swings he was playing close to, holding tightly onto one of the poles. Sighing heavily, she asked him again but he did not move. Poor woman, she was obviously exhausted and wanted to go home to take a nap.
"You and me, girl," you commented in-between bites.
Growing impatient, Jisung's mother approached him and reached her hand out to him. Stubborn, he shouted he wanted to stay, and ran all the way to the other side of the street to get away from her reach. As any mother would do, she ran after him while telling him to slow down as he was much faster than her. He still ignored her demands. Sadly, she was not quick enough to catch up with him and, just as she was crossing the road, a pickup truck collided with her body right before Jisung's eyes. It took him a moment to process everything, he was left speechless. Mouth wide open, he stared at the figure of his mother on the ground in horror. He fell onto his knees, his legs too weak to support his body as he was still in disbelief of what just occurred.
You paused it.
Releasing an exhale you didn't know you were holding back, you stared at the screen in shock. You were barely ten minutes in and you could not believe this had to be how the film began. Setting your plate on the coffee table, you walked to your rabbit's playpen and picked her up, bringing her close to your chest. You jumped right back into your blankets and made sure both you and the animal were comfortable.
"Fifi, I won't be able to finish this if I don't have you with me," you said to your bunny in a child-ish voice.
The screen was still frozen while you debated whether you really wanted to continue it or not. In the end, you gathered all the courage you had and clicked on play, giving Fifi scratches to release your stress.
The next scene was a time skip to Jisung's 23rd birthday. When you thought he was all alone as he was staring longingly at a picture of him and his mother, one of his friends barged in his room as he shouted a "happy birthday". He responded with a smile and set the picture back on his desk before the both of them walked out to their dining room. There were only two other men with him who seemed to be living with him. The place wasn't that big but it was functional which is what mattered really. Jisung's other friend placed a cake in front of him as they sang the birthday song to him, all of them exchanging wide smiles. You learned that he is the youngest since his friends kept on teasing him for being a year closer to their own ages.
"Have we gotten any calls?" he asked after blowing on the candles.
From their reaction, they didn't receive any sort of call that they were expecting. This didn't make Jisung lose his joyful spirit and he went ahead with cutting pieces of cake for the three of them.
"Great, now I'm craving cake," you grumbled to yourself. "Should I get a cake? No, it's too late and the grocery stores must be closed."
The scene switched to an anxious Jisung in his room who kept on rewriting on a piece of paper while tugging on his hair, eyebrows furrowed as to show his focus on the task at hand. He bopped his head up and down and began to hum a melody. Unsatisfied, he shook his head and noted something down on his phone. Multiple shots of him doing the same couple of actions — rewriting, erasing, humming a beat, throwing a paper away, getting distracted by something he saw on his phone —played one after the other. It was like he was stuck in a loop and the more it went, the more he was getting discouraged. Finally determining he wouldn't get any work done that night, he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.
The following shot was now set outside where the night was slowly settling, sunset on display. As a melodic score played in the background, Jisung walked down a small street as he kept on kicking on a tiny rock he found on the ground. Taking in the fresh air, he suddenly stopped and took notice of his whereabouts after having walked a decent distance. The camera panned out to a playground, the same one where his mother was hit.
You felt movement on your thighs and frowned, only to remember you had brought your bunny out of the comfort of her home. Since the movie didn't seem to be getting into anything as traumatic as the first scene, you stood up to get her back to her playpen. However, with having the screen as your only source of light in the room, you tripped onto the plastic bag that was used to wrap your takeout. You felt yourself fall onwards and let out a yell in panic. Your bunny was quick enough to get away from your grasp and hide underneath your couch. As for you, you kept on falling and closed your eyes shut in waiting of your head hitting something. Only, everything went black.
You didn't know what happened but one thing was for sure. You did not hit your head.
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Everything was blurry when you finally opened your eyes after gaining a bit of consciousness. You tried to see better around you but a sudden eerie ringing was suddenly bursting through your ears, making it impossible for you to concentrate on something else. You shut your eyes closed again from how painful the ringing was and put your hands on your ears in attempt to diffuse some of it.
"Miss?" you thought of hearing faintly but nothing was vivid enough for you to be sure. "Miss?" you heard the voice say again, this time a tad bit clearer.
You began to hear again much clearer, allowing you to open your eyes properly. Needless to say you were stunned once your gaze fell upon the man in front of you. He had a concerned look on his face while analyzing your figure, making sure you were not injured in any way.
It couldn't be possible, no.
Looking around for a hint or anything, you realized you were exactly where the character of your movie was standing through your screen only minutes ago. The same character who was now all flesh and bones, standing tall (or short for some people) at 5'7ft in front of your very eyes.
"Miss," he said again. "Are you alright? Do you need help?"
You blinked slowly as you stared at him up and down, almost creepily. You hadn't realized he began to feel uncomfortable until he cleared his throat loudly, bringing your eyes back to his own. With one eyebrow raised, he repeated the question. No luck, you kept silent.
Jisung looked around and noticed the sun was about to get down completely, meaning it would be pitch black in this part of the city. Although he thought of you to be odd, he was humane. Never would he let a young woman — might he add as attractive as you were — on her own this late outside.
"Do you live nearby? I can walk you home," he offered.
Again, you didn't seem to find an answer. Well, how could you even describe that you believed to have gone through your television screen which caused you to travel into the movie's universe? Yourself couldn't believe it to be true. Nonetheless, you couldn't deny the man was very much real and that the cold was very much coming through your clothes.
Your clothes. You weren't in your pyjamas anymore, but rather in a business attire. You held a briefcase that you had no idea what it was for, and you felt an unknown phone in your back pocket. You could feel the blisters on your feet caused by the heels you were wearing and although the blazer was most definitely fashionable, you were freezing. You pondered the possibility of having transferred into a character's body unintentionally.
"Do you have somewhere to stay?" Jisung asked as he caught onto your oblivion.
The only thing you could do right until finding out what happened to you was say nothing and lead your own investigation on how you got here and how you can return to the comfort of your house with your bunny. Fuck, Fifi! Poor her, she must be so afraid without you around to take care of her.
"Hey," Jisung spoke again in a comforting voice. "You'll be okay, I want to help you. Did you forget where you live?"
How sweet of him, you thought. In your own universe it was hard for you to find caring men, you hit the jackpot when stumbling upon him. Still, you had to remind yourself that this person was technically a fictional character, he didn't represent reality. You made a mental note to yourself to check if this movie was directed or written by a woman when you would get back home.
"Do you know your name, at least?"
Oh, right. Maybe the guy deserved some sort of answer at the very least.
"Y/N."
You were taken aback when his face lit up to show his boxy smile. He had a very pretty smile, it was a reassuring smile.
"Miss Y/N, my name is Han Jisung. Now that I know you can speak, can you answer my questions from earlier, please? I would hate for something dangerous to happen to you and I genuinely want to get you home safely."
You chuckled at his words, feeling uneasy from his display of chivalry. "I-I don't remember a lot."
You had seen this in movies: in situations of travelling to an alternate universe, faking having amnesia was the way to go if you wanted to survive through this. People put their guards down usually instead of being wary of you.
Jisung nodded and looked up for a moment to think of what to do next. "I live nearby if you need a temporary shelter for the night. I have two roommates and the place might not be as tidy as what you must be used to, if you remember. I don't know if you are comfortable with it but I'd be happy to help you gain your memories back."
Seriously, why couldn't people be more like this in your world? Trying to ignore to storm of feelings, thoughts and emotions that was happening in your mind, you shyly agreed to stay at his place. For the night only. You should get back in less than 24 hours, no?
Jisung was right and his apartment was no further than a few blocks away from the playground. The building was rather small and a bit torn down but besides that, it seemed to be just fine for him. As long as the necessities were there, it didn't bother him if the quality was not one of a five-star hotel.
It took you three flights of stairs to get to his place which was so painful to climb up with your heels. You still managed through the pain all the way up to when Jisung opened the door wide to let you in first. To say you were startled when you walked in would be an understatement. Two men — you recognized as his roommates — were walking around the flat with no shirt on while they were preparing themselves what seemed to be like chicken sandwiches. The sight was not what you had anticipated, although this whole situation wasn't either, and you let out a scream without thinking first. The two of them shot their heads up and were obviously confused to see a young woman stand there instead of their younger friend.
"Can we help..?" one of them who had blonde hair asked reluctantly.
"Guys!" Jisung exclaimed from behind you before coming to stand next to you. "This is Y/N. Y/N, these two are my roommates. This is Changbin."
Changbin held his hand up, still lost about what was happening in his own home. "Hey?"
"And that's Chan."
Chan was kind enough to grab a hoodie that was laying on a chair nearby and put it on before shaking your hand. Your heart stopped from the contact with his skin and you seriously wondered what was up with the men of this world.
"Y/N is a bit lost, I think she had a some sort of brain injury when I bumped into her. She was holding her head tightly and she was visibly in pain. I asked her a few questions about herself and the only thing she could remember was her name," Jisung explained to the older guy who listened attentively.
"Amnesia?"
"That's my guess. Until we can help her find who she is, I offered her to stay here."
Chan nodded in approval while Changbin shrugged his shoulders. "As long as I can work on my stuff in peace, I don't mind. She's kind of cute too."
"Changbin," Chan sent him a look, making him mutter a quick apology. He then turned to face you which scared you a little. "I bet you're tired. Or hungry, maybe? Can I offer you something to drink?"
"Do you have green tea?"
He clasped his hands together and headed off back to the kitchen. "On it."
"I'll give you a tour of the place," Jisung informed. "It's not big but it's home. Here is the living room which we do not use that much. I'll sleep there tonight, though, so you can have my bed."
You held your hand up in disagreement. "I'll take the couch, it's alright. I'm lucky enough you're letting me stay."
He pfft at you. "Nonsense, take my bed. I insist." When he got a nod from your part, he moved on to continuing showing around. "This is the bathroom. Not that big but it does what it needs to do. Here's Changbin's room and I recommend you don't knock if the door is closed. Just wait until he's done. And here's Chan's room where he never sleeps, just works."
"Not true," you could hear from the kitchen, making Jisung smile, embarrassed.
"Yeah, uh, we can pretty much hear everything throughout the whole flat. It's not that bad from the rooms to the common areas because we tried to soundproof them as much as we could but yeah."
"Soundproofing for your music, or for other types of activities..?" you implied jokingly.
Damn it, the air in this universe was different, you couldn't even be yourself. Well, you did make a lot of bad jokes, sometimes related to sex, back home. Still, you really had no filter there. Noticeably, both of you were quite surprised from your statement and were a blushing mess for a few seconds before he answered.
"Music, but it is useful for these... things."
He cleared his throat and walked away shyly, and you most certainly thought this was adorable. Containing yourself, you followed his lead to the room at the very end of the hallway. Everything you saw from the movie was still at their exact spot, including the picture of him and his mother. While he was telling you about his room and cleaning it up a bit at the same time, you couldn't hear a thing he was saying. Your eyes stuck on the framed image for longer than they should but there was something in his mother's eye. A shine? A glow? Or something more mellow? You couldn't figure it out but it was enchanting, she was beautiful. It was crazy how much Jisung took after her, their features being so similar and yet so different.
"She's pretty," you spoke before thinking, yet again.
Jisung awkwardly walked to his desk and put the picture face down. "It's my mom," he said, clearing his throat and avoiding your look.
"She raised a very kind son," you added and he mouthed a small "thanks" as he kept his eyes on the floor.
You took the opportunity to get a good insight of his personal space. Even if cleaned a bit, it was a mess but not in a disgusting way. It was a comfort kind of messy, the one that screamed "this place was loved and well lived in". His bed had simple dark blue sheets with a single pillow, his desk and dresser were a matching set, and his bookshelf was filled with figurines, one or two books and many music albums. His entire desk was dedicated to his music, even the background displayed a guitar. It felt homey.
"Someone ordered tea?" Chan said as he came in with a mug. He set it on the desk while you thanked him kindly. "Be careful, it's still boiling hot."
Without adding a word, he left the two of you alone in your awkward silence. While you were still looking around, Jisung was biting his lip down, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt with one hand while the other was still on the picture. Eventually, he seemed to snap out of his discomfort and went to open one of his drawers. From there, he pulled a t-shirt out along with a pair of sweatpants before holding them out to you.
"I'm pretty small so hopefully it'll fit. You can use the shower as long as you need, the shampoo and soap are in the basket. Use any towel, we washed them this morning," he informed to which you nodded. The silence was slowly coming back but, decisively, Jisung wouldn't let this one through. "I'll be in the living room if you need anything."
"Thank you, Jisung."
He gave you one last smile before vanishing into the other room, leaving you alone to get changed. That was important, yes, but what you'd been dying to find out was what the fuck happened with you. You didn't waste another second to take the phone in your back pocket and turn it on. Obviously, it had a password unknown to you. What did help was the wallpaper: a picture of yourself hugging a bunny that looked identical to Fifi. At least, you knew you were yourself and not some random woman whose body you had to take over.
If this was your face with your bunny, did it mean it would be the same passcode as the one for your own mobile? You had to try at the very least, this phone was most likely your only chance to understand the situation better. You typed the first five digits and waited a second before typing the last one, tension growing in you. You closed your eyes, pressed it, and slowly opened them back. The sigh of disappointment that left your mouth would be indescribable but it was very discouraging. At least, you knew there was another Fifi waiting for her owner to get home in this universe too.
You quickly got changed, finally taking off these uncomfortable heels, and went to freshen up in the shower. Despite the fact the counter was a huge mess, the shower itself was kept pretty clean, more than you had expected for a boys apartment. You didn't wash for long, already exhausted from the day you'd had. After putting Jisung's clothes on, you walked out the bathroom, went to grab your tea, and joined the man who helped you in the living room.
When he got a good look at you, his eyes grew bigger while his plump cheeks flushed a little. The sight of a woman in his clothes was never something he though of ever happening. And yet, here you were. As beautiful as a model, you were in his clothes.
"Can I join you?"
Fuck, even your voice was pretty. He didn't realize it at first –probably because he only focused on helping you out– but you were drop dead gorgeous. All of the sudden, he could feel his hands getting sweatier and his heartbeat getting faster. What was happening to him?
"Sure," he mustered the energy to answer without stuttering. "How are are you feeling?"
"Calmer, but I'm still worried. I have no idea who I am and the background of my phone is myself with my rabbit who must be wondering where its owner went," you answered and pulled the phone out of your pocket to show it to him.
"Cute," he commented, not knowing if this was directed to you, the rabbit, or both. "Did you try getting in?"
You nodded. "The only password I could think of didn't work and I don't want to risk blocking it."
"I have a friend, Felix, he's studying in computer engineering. I can give him a call tomorrow and he could come to unlock it."
Your face lit up instantly. "That would really help, please."
"I'll do that first thing in the morning."
"Thank you."
He looked away and cleared his throat, your presence was making him so nervous. "It's no problem."
You got up and began to inspect the room, a little bit like you did in Jisung's. The couch wasn't aesthetically pleasing to the eye but it did the job and was the perfect amount of squishy. Their television was without a doubt second handed from someone else while the furniture that supported it was freshly new. You liked how they managed to organize everything to be functional without feeling cramped in the place, since it was very small.
"Do you always do this?" Jisung asked after watching you himself.
"What do you mean?" you frowned.
His face warmed up, embarrassed. "I meant, because you keep looking around like an investigator or something like that."
"Jisung, I've just lost all of my memory. I'm just trying to process everything and the very least of things would be to make sure I wasn't welcomed into an unsafe place, not like I think you're dangerous, but you know what I mean."
He nodded while pursing his lips in understanding. He proceeded to mentally flicker his forehead, swearing to himself to shush it around you. He really was trying to come off friendly and helpful but his reserved nature would force him to tell you stupid things like this.
"I'm done with my tea," you announced, showing him the empty mug.
He stared at you for a second until he snapped out of his thoughts, taking the mug and rushing to the sink to wash it. You chuckled at the sight. You were glad it was him whom you had stumbled upon. Although clumsy, he was being the sweetest.
"I guess I'll go to sleep," you said as he was still rinsing your remaining tea.
He raised an eyebrow at you. "Are you sure you have everything you need?"
"Don't worry, I'll call you if anything."
He nodded his head with satisfaction before wishing for you to sleep well. As he watched your frame disappear, he let out a heavy breath. He knew his social anxiety was bad but this was becoming an issue. He headed to the couch and settled himself to doze off. Still, his mind was on you, on how he had interacted with you. Meanwhile, you were staring at the ceiling blankly, wondering if you were even sure if you could get back home. That, and also thinking how it wouldn't be so bad to stay with these welcoming gentlemen.
To sum it all quickly, you didn't sleep much that night, and neither did Jisung.
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If you thought you ever had a headache, the one you got when waking up was much worse than anything you'd had experienced. This was mildly due to the events of the previous day, but also to the screaming happening on the other side of the apartment. You felt safer leaving the door open to have easy access to help in case you needed any but this was not a good choice on your part. You had slightly forgotten men could be noisy as hell when it came to living with other men. And this, it was a confirmation you were not in a dream and still in a fictional character's home.
"Chan, give me the fucking eggs!" you heard Changbin shout angrily while the two others were uncontrollably laughing.
You yawned loudly before getting off the bed, rubbing your eyes in the process. Even if your body was telling you to get back into the soft bedsheets and sleep all day, your mind was screaming for you to not miss a moment to find a solution to your, slightly surreal, problem. Thus, you joined the three boys in the kitchen who were all still in their sleeping attires. By that, I mean Chan and Changbin were shirtless again while Jisung was wearing shorts with a tank top that was a bit too tight in your opinion. You unconsciously began to check them out in silence, standing like a poll.
Changbin finally noticed you and waved in a nonchalant way, visibly annoyed by his friends' antics. "Hey."
Jisung's head shot up from his breakfast to you and he didn't lose a second to join your side. "Hey, good morning. How did you sleep? Are you feeling better? Can I make you something to eat?"
His friends exchanging knowing looks didn't go unnoticed by you but you determined it would be better for the younger guy to be spared from such embarrassment and you ignored them. "I slept alright, although I do have a bit of a headache."
"I have Tylenols in the bathroom's cabinet. Do you want one or two?"
"I'll take two if you don't mind."
He hummed before sprinting to the said-bathroom, which left his friends struggling more to contain their cackles. You ignored them still and joined Changbin, whose body was quite distracting to say the least, and scanned the items displayed in front of him.
"What are you eating?"
The man left a frustrated sigh. "Toast and eggs if only Chan wasn't being a dick by hiding them from me."
"I told you I hid nothing, we just don't have eggs!"
"There were three left yesterday when I checked. How would they disappear out of nowhere?"
Jisung came back with two pills and a glass full of water, sheepishly smiling as he approached his friends. "Yeah, uh, I might have eaten them last night."
Both shut their eyes closed, clearly trying to not burst out at him. Meanwhile, you left out a small chuckle and joined him to get your pills.
"Thank you," you smiled at him and you saw his Adam's apple bop.
He returned the smile shyly to then focus back on the important matter of the day. "I didn't know you'd have an egg craving this morning."
Changbin shook his head. "It's not a craving, I need my proteins for my workout today," he huffed out as it this was the most obvious thing.
They continued to bicker for some time. It lasted long enough for Chan to remember you were still there and probably very hungry. He made two portions of his own breakfast, which was a bowl of cereals and fruits, and sat next to you while placing both dishes on the table. You gave him a thankful smile and the two of you savoured the food while Jisung was trying his very best to defend himself.
"You can just go buy some later," he said, rolling his eyes.
"I needed to eat them now, or it would fuck up my very precise diet."
You let out a grunt, and stood straight up. "Gosh, can you two shut up? I get that I'm bursting into your bubble by having slept here but I have a headache and memories to regain so can you please put your quarrel aside for now?"
To that, Chan pursed his lips and clapped quietly, obviously impressed. As for Jisung, he looked right into your eyes, unable to move. Day two and he was still fucking things up around you, great. He muttered an apology, not even loud enough to be heard, and embarrassingly walked back to his spot at the table to finish his breakfast.
"Sorry, Y/N. I guess I did overreact," Changbin admitted even though you could see it was hurting his pride.
The entire flat was silent for a few minutes with only the sounds from munching your food being heard. Eventually, Changbin went to get changed and headed out to what you presumed to be the gym. Chan was the next person to put his dishes in the dishwasher and lock himself in his room. That left a very quiet Jisung alone with you. He was hunching slightly and his eyes were focused on his phone, almost as to distract himself from your presence.
Feeling a bit offended, you called his name out. His doe-like eyes instantly found yours and you had to keep yourself from squealing at how cute he looked.
"Did you contact your friend for my phone?"
His eyes that were already big enough in your opinion got larger and his mouth opened agape. He most definitely had forgotten.
"I'll call him right now, I'm sorry."
He left the app he was scrolling through previously and dialed up a number before putting it on speaker. Nervous, he was nibbling on his lower lip while his legs were jumping up and down. Even with friends, having to call someone was a challenge for him.
"Han?" a deep voice answered the call.
"Hey, am I bothering?" Jisung asked, visibly uneasy.
"Never, what's up?"
"I got this... Uh, how do I say it? I met this girl yesterday-"
"Wait, a girl?" he cut him off with a gasp.
From the reaction of his friend, Jisung rolled his eyes before looking at you apologetically. He should have expected Felix to react this way by the mention of a girl. Jisung was too insecure and nervous to approach one, it was almost a miracle he even had the courage to even speak to you. Well, the context was much different. He was a man of principles and one of them was to always offer a helping hand to someone in need — you in this case.
"Where? How? What happened? Is she cute? Did you ask her out?"
For what seemed to be the hundredth time to him, he blushed and chuckled nervously. "She can hear you..."
There was a pause from the other side of the line for a brief moment. "Oh."
"Yeah, uh... So I was on a stroll around the neighbourhood and saw her having some kind of panic attack. She's calmed down since but she lost her memories. She has a phone but she can't remember her code so I was wondering if you could come by and unlock it for her, please."
"Sure, I'm with Hyunjin right now, though. Is it fine if he comes too?"
"Yeah, no problem. Thank you, I owe you one." He quickly hung up and smiled before looking at you. "Felix is an expert when it comes to technology, you'll see."
"I trust your judgement," you affirmed. "In the meantime, can I ask you a few questions?"
He was a mystery to you. Not only because he was from another universe, but also because of how he has been acting around you. If you had watched the entire movie before teleporting in it, you would've probably understood his being a lot better. However, his shy attitude and the way he acted when you were talking about his mother was something that bugged your brain cells.
"What kind of questions?"
You shrugged. "I know nothing about myself so I can't really tell you about me. But you have been so nice to me, it's only natural I'd like to know more about you."
"Good point," he let out a breathy laugh. "Alright, go ahead."
"Have you always been this introverted?"
With no hesitation, he shook his head no which wasn't the answer you expected. "I used to be outgoing but things got complicated at some point and I- let's say I rather keep to myself."
"But you've been pretty outgoing with me, no?"
He frowned, seemingly not agreeing with you. "Are you kidding? I'm surprised I'm not having a panic attack right now."
"You're doing good," you reassured with a chuckle.
"Thanks," he said with a nervous cough. "I'm trying."
An awkward silence settled between the two of you while you were still figuring out how to bring up the topic of his mother, especially his feelings towards it. The only thing that you could assume was the trauma it must have caused him based on what you saw on screen yourself.
A knock on his front door was all it took to bring your mind back on track, which caused Jisung to physically relax and run to answer whoever was coming. When the door opened, two men were greeted warmly by the young man. One was standing tall and gracious with his long dark locks falling in front of his eyes. He was pretty, you thought. The other was shorter but his voice was deep, so much you were doubting it was actually his voice. The freckles on his face stood out as much as his smile and his blonde hair was another aspect you took notice of. You learned him to be Felix and the moment his eyes fell onto your small figure, he stared at you with bright open eyes, almost as if he had seen a ghost.
"Oh my, Y/N! I swore Mina and I thought you vanished," he said in a worried voice as he sat where Jisung was previously. "Why didn't you answer our calls? Wait, let me guess, you put your phone on Do not disturb again?"
The taller man, who you were informed to be named Hyunjin from Jisung's greeting, rolled his eyes and sat next to him. The move was very smooth, you were doubting if this man was a model or an angel. Both answers would've made sense.
"Let the girl breathe, you're scaring her. Didn't Han say she has amnesia? Gosh, I'd think you're the one with no memories," he huffed, insinuating that Felix was stupid.
You were a bit startled by his rather rude behaviour but when you looked at Felix's reaction, it seemed to be a normal thing between them. As for Jisung, he stood still next to the door and confusion was sprawled all over his face.
"You know her?" he asked.
Felix lifted his eyes up, as if it was the most obvious thing. "She lives with Mina next to our place."
You nodded your head slowly although you were still totally clueless. "Right, Mina..."
"You really forgot? Damn, okay. Well, I know your passcode because you told me so this won't be a problem. I'm very curious, though. Do you know what happened to you?"
Telling them the truth was tempting but, again, who would even believe you? The thing itself was a mystery to you and felt surreal, you doubted they would take you seriously. Even more so if you mention the movie aspect of it.
"No idea," you shrugged which disappointed Felix.
"Alright, I'll help you regain your memories, then," he sighed and held out his hand in your direction. "Give me your phone."
You did as told and, immediately, Felix tapped the password with no problem before giving it back to you. As you browsed through the apps, you realized not much was different from what you had in your actual phone. If anything, this was the spitting image of it. Your first instinct was to go for the photos you had. As expected, many of them were of your bunny but another majority of them were of you with another girl.
"Mina?" you asked Felix, pointing at the girl's face to which he nodded as a confirmation.
"Your roommate and best friend. If I'm correct, you two have been friends for almost your entire life."
You continued to scroll through the pictures attentively. The other you had a much busier life. You seemed to be out in college parties often and other photos showed yourself in classes with many other friends. You were also quite disturbed to see that your parents were the same ones you had in your real life. Was the movie like this or did your unintentional arrival modify it?
One picture grabbed your attention more than others. It was you at a party again but what your focus was on was the boy behind you smiling happily with a bottle of beer in hands.
"Jisung?" you called for him to see and he proceeded to rush to your sides, hovering above your shoulder to see better.
Your breath cut short at the proximity as you could feel his own hit the side of your face. For a second, your mind went foggy and you turned your head around to look at him. His frown showed as much confusion as you had and you noticed his lips to be pinker than you thought.
"Is this me?" he said in a whisper, which reminded you to focus.
"So you knew who I am!" you exclaimed, almost offended he didn't tell you.
"I swear I don't recall seeing you ever," he tried to justify himself.
Felix stole the device from you and looked at the photo as well, Hyunjin leaning closer to do the same. While he couldn't figure out when this was taken as he was in the picture as well, Hyunjin seemed to have recognized the moment instantly.
"This was at Jeongin's."
"Who?" you and Jisung asked at the same time.
You looked at one another and a blush appeared on both of your faces. Hyunjin, however, didn't give a shit about your somewhat cute interaction and went on with explaining.
"Jeongin, a friend of mine. He hosted a party about a year ago with pretty much the whole cohort of freshmen."
"Oh," Felix exclaimed as the memory came back to him. "Yeah, there were people I never talked to again after that. Must have been the case for you two."
"But if I'm friends with you-" you began but were cut right away.
"We're neighbours, not friends. I don't hang out with you much, no offense."
"None taken."
Suddenly, you heard a small gasp coming from behind you. All eyes stopped on Jisung who was covering his mouth with his hand. You cocked your head to the side to incite him to speak but he shook his head and left to run to his room. You glanced at the two remaining men in search of an answer but they shrugged and continued to look through your pictures.
"Ah, look! Your most recent one dates from yesterday," Hyunjin noticed and gave you the phone back.
You scanned the screen and frowned. In the background, you could see a tuft of hair that was too similar to Jisung's for it to not be his. You were wearing the same outfit as the previous day and you were obviously only taking a cute selfie for yourself. This was without a doubt taken just before you appeared. Was this version of you an actual person? Where was she now if you were in her body at this very moment? What if she was in yours? How traumatic for her would that be if she learned she was nothing more than an extra in a Netflix film.
"I wonder where I was going," you decided to say for now, not wanting to look suspicious.
"If I had to guess, back home. You're on an internship in an accounting company this semester, thus the attire."
You were so grateful Felix knew about you enough to give you a better insight of your life. Nonetheless, this was helping you in no way to go back to your universe. You discarded the phone away from you and let your head fall on the table while mumbling a "thank you" to him.
"The school offers free therapy sessions for those in need," Hyunjin suggested, earning a bump of the elbow from his friend. "What? Sorry for trying to help."
"I can take you back to your place for now, Mina might be better than me to help you," Felix offered, ignoring Hyunjin.
"That would be great, yeah," you said gratefully, lifting your head up. "Can you take me now?" He nodded. "Good. You don't mind if I go thank Jisung first?"
"Go ahead."
The door of his room was closed which came as no surprise considering the way he left so abruptly. Still, you knocked softly and waited patiently for him to answer. It took a minute or so but he did open the door, just wide enough for you to see his face. Just when you thought you had seen him at his most embarrassed, here he was, avoiding your gaze.
"Felix is going to get me home."
He nodded quickly before muttering "That's good."
"I came to thank you again for letting me stay. Not many people are as kind as you have been to me."
He cleared his throat. "I told you, it's no problem."
"Still, thank you."
Since you were visibly making more and more uncomfortable, you didn't stay any longer and were quick to head out, not forgetting to at least wave bye to Chan.
You weren't living far from there, only a couple of streets away. On the walk to your dorm, you learned Felix and Hyunjin were living together and that they were both studying in contemporary arts at the same college you were attending. Both knew you to be the nice girl next door while Mina was much louder than you were. Needless to say, you were looking forward to meet this girl.
"You're at the end of the hallway and we're here," Hyunjin informed as he stopped in front of their place. "Let us know if you need anything."
"Thank you, guys, so much."
Felix sent you one of his warm smiles and the two of them disappeared into their home. You stared at the door in the end of the hallway slightly scared. You had no idea what to expect but, here you were. Having not much of a choice, you went ahead and unlocked the door with what Felix told you to be the key to your place before walking in.
The first thing you saw was a wide playpen with a bunny munching onto its food; Fifi. You wondered if she had the same name or not. Just besides it was a couch where a girl was lazily scrolling through her feed. Upon hearing someone coming in, her head turned to see who it was. From her face, you concluded she was relieved to see it was you. Immediately, she jumped off the couch and came to hug you tightly.
"Y/N, what the fuck! I was worried sick, where the hell were you?" she almost screamed into your ear.
Yeah, she was definitely a loud person.
"Hey..." you trailed off, unsure on what to respond.
She let go of the hug, still holding your shoulders, and gave you a skeptical look. She scanned you from up and down which made you self-conscious for a second. It was almost like she was leading her own investigation.
"Why are you so stiff?"
Upon hearing her remark, you tried to relax a little but according to her expression, this did not work. "Uh, you might want to sit down for this one."
Her eyes went wide and she grabbed you to go sit on the couch. "What? Did you meet someone and slept at their place? Did you get kidnapped?"
Gosh, she really was adamant about your whereabouts and getting answers from you. In a way, you couldn't blame her as she had been thinking for almost 24 hours that her best friend had vanished. It didn't mean this didn't overwhelm you nonetheless.
"Kind of?"
"Which one? The kidnapped part or sleeping at someone's place?"
"The second one."
She gasped in surprise. "You slept with one of your co-workers!"
You rolled her eyes at her assumption, growing tired of her already. "Mina, can you let me speak please?" She seemed to get startled by your intervention but she nodded and kept her mouth shut. "Thank you. Okay, so, where do I start? Uh, first of all, I actually don't know you."
She quirked an eyebrow. "Are you kidding? We've known each other our whole life."
"This is more complicated..."
Then, you proceeded to explain everything to her. Well, the whole amnesia story. She surprisingly sat still and listened throughout your entire monologue, expressing a couple of times her reactions with gasps and hums. When you were done, she was looking up in the air to think. You hoped what you said made enough sense so she wouldn't have any doubts.
"Han Jisung who lives with Chan, no?" she asked and you nodded. "As in Bang Chan?"
You shrugged. "I don't know his last name but I guess it was him."
"Damn, you were with these losers," she exploded in laughter.
If she really was your best friend in this world, you were beginning to question yourself on why you would hang around someone thinking this low of other people. To you, these guys couldn't be any kinder. Besides the fact their apartment was a bit trashy, you couldn't think of a single thing that would make someone call them with such names.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, honey," she started with an exhale. "They've been telling people they will become a successful group but they've been getting nothing more than a few gigs here and there. Not only that but I've heard Han can't even come up on stage."
Your heart dropped. Of course he would have stage fright, he was so insecure just by stepping foot outside of his home. Something else bugged you about her comments. She had a bittersweet tone coming with it, like she had an history with these guys.
"It doesn't make them losers..."
She scoffed. "Wow, amnesia did something to you. If you still had your memories, you would agree with me."
"I just don't understand why you'd say they're losers if they're struggling with their career. Challenges happen to everyone."
"I know but- You know what? I'll tell you after you regain your memories. For now, I'll help you get back into the real world."
If only she meant this as actually going back... If she were to have this attitude while helping you go through this, you were debating to go back to Jisung's place and let them help you instead.
However, after this uncomfortable altercation, she was being nothing but the sweetest. She went through every aspect of your life slowly, from your birth until now, and made sure you were following along. Everything you had to remember about your present self wasn't so complicated; you were an accounting student following an internship and you were a second year college student. You liked your bunny a lot (who you discovered to be named Fifi as well), your best friend was Mina and Seungmin was your favourite co-worker at your internship. As for your personality, you were pretty much the same with the exception of loving to go out and socialize.
Great. You were going to love being here.
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A week or so had passed since your arrival and you were starting to panic. There was not a day where you wouldn't get homesick and miss your old life, nor there would be a moment you thought of the potential other you having to live elsewhere. This was still a mystery to you. In the little time you had to do some research about travelling through different dimensions, the only thing you would find were fictional stories or theories from crazy people that were in no way consistent with what you were experiencing.
Besides that, accounting would never be a field of career you would personally choose which made all the lot more difficult. You were lucky to have Seungmin, a bright guy who volunteered to help you adapt upon learning about your issue.
"You're getting better," he commented after reviewing your report.
"Hopefully I'll be as good as I was in no time," you sighed before letting yourself drop on your chair. "Why did I even choose accounting?"
"You'd do it with such ease, it was an obvious choice."
"Yeah, well post-amnesia me hates it."
"And post-amnesia you is done with her shift for today."
You checked the time and realized he was right. You were glad today was ending in the early afternoon, it meant you would have time to stop by at the school's library to go on with your research. Without losing another minute, you sorted your documents on the small desk that you were assigned at and grabbed your belongings.
"See you tomorrow?"
Seungmin shook his head and chuckled. "Tomorrow is Saturday."
You formed an "o" with your mouth, blushing from embarrassment. You were quick to say bye to him and walk out of the building. Luckily, the campus wasn't too far from there. Nonetheless, you had to use the GPS as you weren't used to the neighbourhood yet. You were hoping you would never get used to it, anyway.
Having to wear heels at the company, you got the habit of bringing a pair of sneakers to change into once the day was over. This way, you could walk like a normal person instead of stumbling onto your own feet.
Once you reached the school's library, you were a bit intimidated by the size of it. There were so many rows just filled with bricks of books, each one of them different than the other. How on Earth would you find what you were looking for?
"May I help you?"
Your gaze moved to the front desk where the person calling for you spoke and you jumped at the sight. While the gentleman at the computer was smiling politely at you, a quiet Jisung was seemingly sorting books behind him, doing everything he could to avoid your eyes.
"Hi, do you have some sort of search browser for the books available here?" you asked the young man.
"There's a browser available on every public computer, although I have one with me just here. I can type in the book you're looking for right now."
"Oh, that's very nice but I'm actually not looking for one book in particular."
The man held his hand up to stop you. "Let me guess, magazine issues for a research project because the teacher asked for a paper reference?"
"Uh, no."
Your answer confused him furthermore, causing him to drop his shoulders in exasperation. "You read for fun?"
"Minho," Jisung interrupted the conversation. "You could help her instead of judging."
You were pleased to know he had enough self-esteem in him to speak his mind. The two of you hadn't seen or spoken to each other since you went back home-ish and you had been wondering what he was up to. Him working at the college's library had definitely not been what you thought he'd do to make money. Still, this was only a student job so it made sense. But a library? You didn't see a single actual book in his room.
"Right," Minho cleared his throat. "I apologize, what can I look up for you?"
"I'd rather look it up by myself if you don't mind," you said, a bit embarrassed.
"No problem, the computers are behind the philosophy essays section."
You nodded your head but didn't move the slightest. While this was supposed to be a place every student would go to get their work done, you didn't know your way here. Heck, it was a miracle you even made it to the library considering you visited the campus once in the week you'd been here.
"Go straight ahead and turn left when you see the couches."
You smiled at Jisung as a thank you, although he didn't return it, and followed his directions. Soon enough, you sat down at one of the stations and turned the PC on. The screen flashed the school's logo beautifully before it changed to the log in page.
Of course, you had to get into your student account to have access to this stupid computer. If you had an account, you certainly didn't have a clue about what your infos were. You went into your phone's notes to check if the other you had noted it down at some point. When you stumbled upon a note named Passwords, you thought you held the solution to your problem. However, the note itself was private and needed another code to get in. Even by trying your phone's passcode, it stayed locked.
Decisively, the world was against you for this one. Having no other option, you opted to look for what you were searching for on your own without any catalog. If it had to take until midnight, you'd stay until midnight.
You searched one row, and this one only took forty minutes to get through. This was discouraging but you wouldn't give up just yet. And so, another row was done after another forty minutes. There wasn't a book remotely close to what you needed, it was frustrating. And so, another row, another forty minutes.
"Need something?"
You really had to stop jumping every time something took you by surprise. Your focus was lost when Jisung, who was leaning on the bookshelf, was staring at you with a concerned look.
What you weren't aware of was that he had been watching you since you stepped foot in the library. He couldn't keep his mind off you since you left and seeing you so suddenly made him quite nervous. Seeing that you were as much of a mess as he was when you were looking around for a few hours now, it was good enough to give him courage to make the first move and come up to you.
"Actually, yes. I'd look through the catalog but I don't have a student account."
"Or rather you forgot it," he corrected and you nodded. "What do you need? It's my second year working here, I know the place like the back of my hand."
"No, I really rather look into it on my own."
He sighed but didn't insist any further. "Alright, I'll log you into my account."
You let out a breathy groan, throwing your head back in relief. "You have no idea how you're saving my life right now."
And you meant every word in their literal sense, unbeknownst to him. He led you back to the computers and chose one where he logged into in no time. You wanted to cry out of joy when you saw the welcoming page pop up with the school's tools already opened for the students.
"Thank you so much, I really owe you now."
He scratched the back of his head in uneasiness. "It's nothing."
You shook your head vigorously, refusing his answer. "You're too kind for this world and I want you to know it."
A blush crept on his cheeks and he allowed himself to smile a little. "Alright, then you're welcome."
With a satisfied grin, you sat down and opened the library's browser immediately. You looked into the categories first to see if you could make a more subtle research before jumping right into the actual topic. The section Legends and Myths caught your attention and you clicked on it. A vast selection of books, magazines and essays were offered to you which almost made you want to give up on the spot. But still, nothing online was helping you so this was your last hope.
You spent a lot of time, too much time, scrolling through the catalog. So much, you hadn't realized how dark it was outside until you looked around. There was nobody left, only you. When you checked the time, it was merely 8:00 P.M. which meant you still had about three to four hours to continue. However, the growl coming from your stomach was telling to take a break and get a snack. Were you too stubborn to quit and kept on searching anyway? Yes, you were.
The sound of wheels coming your way, on the other hand, could not let you focus properly. It was weird as you thought everyone had left. That was until you saw Minho and Jisung conversing while the latter was pushing a cart labelled with a paper reading Returned Books. Minho, who wearing his school bag, waved at his colleague before heading out, seemingly having finished his shift for the day.
"Jisung?" you called out once the man was alone.
He was startled to see you still at the same spot as earlier but he came your way, leaving the cart behind him. "What's up?"
"Is there a section about scientific research or something like that?"
"What kind of scientific research?" he perked an eyebrow at you. "Aren't you in accounting?"
"Uh..." you trailed off. This was too suspicious to your liking, you had to do without his help. "Actually, forget it. I wouldn't want to bother you while you still have stuff to do," you justified while gesturing the cart from afar.
Jisung wasn't having any of your bullshit. Sure, you were sweet and all but because you had been there for almost the entirety of his shift, he was growing skeptical of you. Your sudden amnesia was one thing but it had been a week, surely you wouldn't be in a library for hours not getting any actual schoolwork done if you didn't have something to hide. As observant as he was, he noticed all of your quirks. All of them were so similar to his own, meaning you were nervous. He didn't want to accuse you of anything, he genuinely wanted to help. Nonetheless, your behaviour caused him to doubt.
Or maybe was it just an excuse he was making up to get closer to you...
"The cart can wait," he argued.
And maybe having one person knowing about your situation might actually come handy. And if you had to pick someone to be aware of it, it would be Jisung. You weren't close enough with Seungmin and Mina seemed to have a tendency of gossiping and talking too much. Jisung was ideal. Plus, the man was the protagonist of the movie, a movie you weren't close to have finished watching. Having the opportunity to get a full insight into his personality wasn't an opportunity you'd pass on.
"Uh, okay," you started, preparing yourself mentally. "I- Can you promise me to not tell a word about this to anyone?"
His expression changed instantly, coming from a frown to a surprise. "What are you about to confess? A crime or something?"
"No, but it's still a pretty big thing and- Just promise me you won't tell a soul about it and that you won't judge me. And that you'll believe me."
His frown came back but he didn't seem as taken aback. "Uh, sure, yeah. I'll keep it to myself."
"Thanks... Okay, uh, where do I begin?"
"Hey," he said while putting a hand on your shoulder, a move that surprised the both of you. "I promise I won't say a thing, you can trust me."
This seemed to do the trick and you calmed down. "I don't have amnesia, I am perfectly fine in terms of memory. I just- I'm not from here."
"What do you mean?"
You were so fucking thankful he didn't accuse you of lying right away. "Do you know the theory about the universe having multiple copies of itself? Hence, many versions of a person?"
"I've seen it in movies."
"Yeah, except this is pretty fucking real for me right now and I somehow managed to come into a parallel universe in my other self's body."
You decided to spare him from telling him he's a movie's character. This was already a lot of information to process for him, telling him he wasn't real would be crushing him.
For a moment, he didn't respond. The frown never left his face. If anything, it got more defined. The longer he wasn't answering, the more you were getting nervous. Did you fuck it up by telling him (half) the truth?
"I saw one book about it, but I'm not sure if it applies to your situation."
Good, he didn't call you crazy. "Can you show it to me, please?"
He immediately led you to a section that was the furthest away from the entrance. It was a bit sketchy as it visibly wasn't frequented a lot. His eyes scanned a specific shelf while his fingers ran through the books. Eventually, he picked one out that had a hard cover with nothing on it other than the title: The Multiverse and its travelers.
"Here, hopefully it'll do."
You took it from him and read the back of it to figure out if it was fit for you or not. When you saw the phrase "seizures and blackouts tend to occur before the shift itself", you determined it would do the job. This was the closest you had gotten to knowing what happened, you had to read this.
"It's perfect, thank you."
"Great, I can enter it under your student account now," he smiled as he was about to go back to the front desk.
You shook your head immediately, grabbing his forearm to stop him. "I can't rent this. What if the other Y/N or other people see this? They'll have questions."
He sighed but he got your point. "I can put it under my name if it'll make you more comfortable."
"Please."
It didn't take him long to enter everything in the system before he gave the book back to you. You were so grateful he didn't react as bad as you expected. Not just that, he was even willing to give you a hand.
"Now that this is done, can you explain what happened to you to have travelled universes?"
Okay, maybe he wasn't totally chill with your situation, which was totally understandable. Before you could speak, your stomach made, yet, another grumble to tell you that you must eat.
"We can do this over a snack," he suggested.
"Aren't you working right now?"
He shrugged, unfazed. "Nobody's here and I can empty the returned books tomorrow."
In no time at all, he put the cart back behind the desk, clocked out of his shift, locked the doors, and walked you to the nearest convenience store. He insisted on paying for your drink and ramen, saying you must be exhausted from the day. Although you wanted to tell him otherwise, he wasn't wrong.
And that's how you were now sitting on the benches of the school's empty football field with only a couple of lights for you to see around.
"Alright, go ahead with the questions," you breathed out before taking a bite of your noodles.
He let out a chuckle as he watched you slurp. "Which one do I even ask first?"
"Whatever comes to your mind."
"Okay, uh... Where are you from?"
You hummed. "I actually don't know what to call it. Earth, obviously, but it's just another version of this one."
"Is it different here?"
"Not really, it's the same year and all but my other self is living a completely different type of life."
"How come?"
"I don't party that much, nor do I like anything having to do with accounting."
He let out a laugh. "I'd say I'm the same."
"Yeah, staying at home is ten times better."
"I agree," he acquiesced before taking a bite of his own meal. "What happened before you got here?"
You shrugged. "I tripped, thought I hit my head, and here I am."
"That's odd."
"Tell me about it," you said in a scoff. "How was I when you met me, anyway?"
"Do you mean you as in you or your other self?"
You frowned. "I thought you didn't know my other self."
He sighed. "I do know her, I just forgot about her. At the party, we actually hooked up but when she learned Mina had a feud with Chan, she told me to forget this even happened."
This explained many things, especially why Mina had such a dislike to the three men. You also began to wonder how did Jisung get in bed with the other you. Before your mind could go much further with that, you stopped yourself and let out a nervous laugh.
"Well, it worked," you chuckled awkwardly. "But yeah, how was I last week in front of that playground?"
He bit in lips while thinking, one of his habits you thought to be adorable. "From afar, you were walking around normally but then, you just kind of froze and began to have a panic attack or something."
"And you were kind enough to come to my rescue," you saw with a dreamy sigh, making him roll his eyes.
"Make fun of me all you want, you're happy I'm the one who rescued you."
"I am," you affirmed.
The blush on his face didn't go unnoticed by you, which also made your face red. Gosh, he really had to be this stinking cute? You had to muster all of your energy to not pinch his plump cheeks.
"Your name is really Y/N, right?" he asked just to be sure.
"That part is true."
"Okay, good."
Unlike other times, the silence that slowly settled between you two was rather comforting. Maybe it was because you had been mostly honest with him, or maybe because he was managing to get more comfortable around you. Either or both ways, you were content with how sereine it was.
"This is fucked up," he commented.
"I know."
As a new silence took over, Jisung's eyebrows furrowed as he stared into his ramen cup, deep in thoughts. While he was having what was probably a mental debate, you gave yourself permission to stare closely at his physical traits. He was hard to read and complex, which was mainly what made him so fascinating to you in the first place. His character was developed as someone so real and sincere, you were almost disappointed he wasn't actually real. His bead-like soft eyes, his perfect glowing skin, his hair that-
"My mom died," he informed you out of the blue.
Your heartbeat quickened all of the sudden. While you processed what he just said, the image of her death came back to you. "I'm sorry," was all you found the energy to say.
"That playground we were at last week was where she was hit by a car. I was so young, it was painful."
Sadness rushed through your body as you were now getting a full image of his emotions. You never expected him to be transparent with you about it, even less since you didn't know each other so well.
"Why are you telling me this? This seems to be pretty personal."
He smiled sadly. "I think she's the reason why I wanted to help you then. I felt her around me, telling me to save someone else for her."
"That's very sweet," you commented in a soft voice.
"It is," he laughed out. "I miss her a lot."
"I would too if I was you."
Slowly, the night came as you began to hear crickets around you. Deciding this was enough for tonight, the two of you left the school grounds. Jisung was generous once more when he offered to walk you home. He would lie if he said his heart didn't pinch when you refused. Nonetheless, you parted ways and began to walk in opposite directions on the dark streets. You were getting further away from each other when you decided to turn on your heels and run back to him. As he heard you come back, he turned around, watching you until you got face to face with him.
"Can I have your number? Since you're the only person who knows about my struggle," you explained, even if you used it as an excuse to keep contact with him.
"Yeah, sure. We can meet a few times to search for a way back together," he suggested which made you grin.
You might not have found a way home that day, but you found a friend.
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Mina was still staring at you with disgust while you were getting ready to go to Jisung's place. Apparently, Changbin and Chan were going to a party that night which left the apartment to himself. This was merely three days after your interaction at the library and you were still somehow stressed out about meeting up with him. The fact Mina was throwing a few comments at you about him didn't help.
"I'm simply trying to understand what you find interesting in him," she groaned.
"He's done a lot for me since the incident, I owe him."
She sighed in despair. "Alright but if he breaks your heart like Chan did to me, don't be surprised!"
You also took the weekend as an opportunity to get to know your roommate and her relationship she had with Chan. It had taken a toll on her emotionally, so much that she had no intention in being polite with whatever — or whoever — that was in relation with him.
"Don't become besties with him or I'll seriously consider cutting you out of my life," she added.
You deadpanned at her. "You wouldn't actually."
She rolled her eyes. "Of course not but I wouldn't be happy with it."
With that being said, you left the apartment and made your way to Jisung's place with your bag hanging on your shoulder, full since it contained your belongings plus his clothes you had forgotten to give him back. You were starting to know your way around which you didn't consider as a good sign. This meant you were getting used to this place and it just couldn't be like this.
The moment you knocked on Jisung's front door, it slung open for him to welcome you with a smile. He had seemingly cleaned a little around but it was still messy, as expected.
"So, I looked up some stuff online and I'm surprised you didn't see what was on there. It looks like many people believe to have experienced it," he said before turning his laptop's screen to your direction.
"I did see those and it just sounds like people dreaming of another universe before "travelling". For me, I just tripped."
His shoulders dropped. "I see."
"I appreciate the effort, though," you reassured, feeling a bit bad.
He invited you to get to his room where he could make some more research on his PC while you'd have the bed to read the book comfortably. Before going there, he didn't forget to make some hot beverages for the two of you as you were expecting for this to last a long while.
His bed was as comfortable as you remembered, you had almost missed it. Not that your own bed in this world wasn't nice, it just felt a bit too firm. Jisung's, however, was soft and warm. As you began your reading session, the only thing you could hear was Jisung typing on his keyboard and clicking with his mouse. It wasn't annoying in itself, but it was too distracting for you to focus.
When you realized you had been reading the same sentence for the fifth time, you decided to do something about it. Getting up, you tapped on his shoulder which made him take his headphones off.
"Did you find something?" he immediately questioned but you shook your head.
"Your typing is kind of distracting on its own. Do you have music you can play in the background?"
He blinked a few times before nodding. "I was listening to my own stuff, actually."
Oh, right. Jisung was described as a struggling musician in the synopsis, you had almost forgotten about that. This suddenly made him all the more interesting than the search and he definitely saw it in your eyes. Hesitantly, he disconnected his headset and plugged his speakers in before opening his files. There were so many audiotapes, you were stunned. To think all of this were his creations.
"I don't think I've told you but the guys and I are music majors."
"You didn't tell me but I heard about it, yeah."
"Well, we've been experiencing with sounds and beats to find what fits us. This is all of it, pretty much. We're trying to make an actual career out of it but none of the calls we've made have come back," he said as he let out a heavy breath, one of disappointment. "I'm actually starting to consider giving up on that."
You scoffed. "Nonsense, you're great!"
"How do you know? You've never heard anything by me."
Not exactly. The clips of him in his room struggling to make music in the film had a few samples of his songs playing and you did remember them to be very good. Of course, he would never know this, so you had to lie.
"I haven't but I'm confident you're very talented."
He chuckled, embarrassed. "Now I'm just nervous to show you if you have such high expectations."
"Don't be."
He scrolled through his files for a bit in search of the perfect song to show you first. There were many that were done with the other guys. Still, he felt like he wanted to show something that was 100% him. Something raw that you could relate to. The cursor stopped for an instant on his track Alien. Considering the context, this must have been the fittest one for you. So he clicked on it, letting it play through the speakers.
And just as he thought, this could not have been a better choice. From the first note, you were entirely immersed into the melody, bopping your head along with it. And when he began to sing, damn you were melting. Not only were his lyrics so personal and true, his voice had a melodic effect that made you want to squeal. Seriously, why was he struggling with his career if this was what he was putting out?
When the song ended, the only thing you could do was let out an emotional sigh. "You, guys, have so much talent."
He scratched the side of his arm sheepishly before shaking his head. "That was just me," he corrected.
"All of it?" you asked with admiration.
"All of it, from the sound to the singing and the lyrics."
He wasn't one to brag usually, but if it impressed you and interested you, there was nothing wrong with showing off a little. This information had visibly made you more fascinated by his work and you didn't hesitate to steal his mouse and put the cursor over another track.
You did this for a while, playing one song after the other. You were as amazed as you were by the first one every single time. This eventually made Jisung so shy about his work, he had to force you to stop even if you argued you wanted to listen to more. Forcefully, he kept you away from his computer and put a random playlist on for what you had originally requested, which was ambiance music.
You crossed your arms and pouted. "Is it so bad to want to listen to raw talent?"
"When the artist is right in front of you, yes. Now, get back to work."
You snorted at him. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."
Nevertheless, you still opened the book and continued to read. The first couple of pages weren't telling anything new. It mostly consisted of summing up what was already known of travelling through the multiverse, meaning not much. Although the research this author made was impressive, this had in no way the exact thing you were looking for. And as your reading kept on going, the more discouraged you were growing. There was a point you thought of abandoning the book. However, there were still too many pages left to risk missing something out.
"Got anything?" Jisung finally spoke after about an hour of research.
"Nothing, what about you?"
"Apart from a few people on Reddit talking about their shifting experience in their sleep, nothing."
You scoffed. "Yeah, not relevant to my case."
You closed the book and let out a loud yawn, catching Jisung's attention. "Tired?"
"A little," you shrugged. "Are you?"
"No, but this is getting tiring if I'm being honest," he chuckled and you smiled as to affirm you agreed. "How about we take a break and order some food?"
"No need to ask me twice."
In the time of a heartbeat, he jumped off his chair and ran out of his room, leaving you chuckling at his demeanor. Jisung was cute, you couldn't argue with that. Even more so because he seemed to like food so much, something you could relate to yourself. Before he would come back, you decided to look around some more, although you had analyzed the place quite a lot on your first day here. His room was cleaner, probably because he knew in advance that you'd be coming. For once, his closet was wide open which gave you a good opportunity to check what he wore on the daily basis. While you had only seen him in casual clothing, what you could see through his clothes were great fashion items. A shelf was filled with different kinds of hats and a whole section was dedicated to jackets of all sorts.
"It's always the fictional characters," you muttered to yourself, thinking about how none of the men from your world had this much taste in their choice of wearing.
"Alright," a loud voice said while coming in the room, almost startling you.
Jisung, unlike what you thought he'd do, sat next to you with a few flyers in hands from restaurants around the neighbourhood. Ramen, sushi, BBQ, fried chicken; there were too many, you felt a bit overwhelmed at the options.
"What do you want?" you insisted on him choosing.
"We could go for ramen," he shrugged before composing the number to make his order. "What would you like?"
"Anything, I'm not picky."
He gave you a nod before focusing back on the call as it seemed that someone answered. "Is this Felix?"
Felix? Why the hell was he calling him all of the sudden?
"Hey, man, can I have two of my usual?" Jisung continued to speak. "In thirty? Okay, good... Yeah... I'll tell him... Bye," he ended the call.
"You called Felix?" you asked.
He frowned. "Yeah, obviously, he–" he was about to say until he realized you actually didn't know. "My bad," he coughed out, embarrassed. "He works at the best ramen place near campus so let's say I get a few free stuff when it's his shift."
"Oh, okay," you said with a nod.
An awkward silence settled as you noticed him starting to fiddled with the hem of his shirt, looking at anywhere but you. Although you always found him adorable when he got shy, you weren't going to let this be too uncomfortable for him. He was already helping you a lot, this was the least you could do.
"Do you want to watch something?"
He stopped his fiddling and looked up at you. "Do you think you have the same films and shows where you're from?"
You frowned. "Good question. Show me what you have and I'll tell you if it's the case."
He went to take his laptop and turn it on before sitting back next to you. He shyly gestured for you to get comfortable and lay with your back against the wall. You complied and, soon, he positioned himself next to you. You could see he was a bit nervous but he didn't let it show through too much. He was quick to open his Netflix account, which you thought was nice that the platform was here as well, and he scrolled through the few movies and series that were appearing. From the looks of it and based on his recommendations, he was watching a lot of anime movies and series.
"Yeah, it's very similar to what I have back home," you affirmed. "It's odd, how the hell is it the same?"
Jisung frowned as he also realized how bizarre it was. "Maybe you are in the same world as me?"
You shook your head. "How would you explain this other me having an entire different life than me while having the same name and the same bunny I have? Heck, she has the same parents."
Maybe you really did modify the movie by coming here. For the whole part of you having your own life, at least. As for the content of cinematography, it was logical that a movie would put the same cultural references to make more realistic to the audience. How were you going to explain this to Jisung, though?
"I don't think I have the brain to think about this too much, it's kind of freaking me out," he gulped. "I'm actually just starting to realize how fucked up your thing is..."
Your eyes went wide. "No, please, don't think I'm crazy..." you pleaded.
"I don't know, Y/N, this whole thing is weird as fuck."
"I swear I'm not making this up, I find it as bizarre as you do."
He shook his head. "No, I believe you. It's just, how the fuck?" he trailed off.
You only responded with a faint smile as to show him you weren't understanding this any more than he was. Thankfully, the moment wasn't long and you moved on by suggesting on watching a Ghibli movie. You loved them, he seemed to enjoy them, this was a perfect choice.
As the film was starting, the bell rang and Jisung paused it to go greet the delivery person, which you assumed to be Felix. You were confirmed to be right when the man himself walked in the room behind Jisung with two plastic bags. It took him a moment to take in your presence in his friend's bedroom.
"Damn, I knew this was going to happen after–"
He was interrupted mid-sentence when Jisung put his hand over his mouth. "Yes, this is a great reunion but we're just taking the food and you can be on your way."
"But–" Felix started when he managed to push the hand away, only to get cut off again.
"Felix," he gave him a look. "How much was it?"
Finally understanding he wouldn't get answers tonight, the two proceeded to payment while you watched them, still waiting patiently with the movie on pause. You chuckled upon seeing Jisung's slightly pink cheeks as he crawled back to your side with the food in hands.
"You two, lovebirds, enjoy your date," Felix said in a teasing voice before winking at Jisung.
As the boy left the flat, Jisung couldn't contain his embarrassment any more than this. "I swear to God I will kick his ass next time I see him," you hear him mumble under his breath.
You shrugged. "He has a point, it does look like a date night for a couple."
He cleared his throat. "I suppose it does a little... Anyway, this is what I got. I hope you like sea food."
"Not a favourite," you admitted which caused his shoulders to drop a bit. "I like it, though."
This seemed to cheer him back up and he happily took the bowls out of the bag. Next to his bed was a tray he kept close for occasions like these. Well, not the having-a-girl-over part but rather the watching-films-in-bed part.
"Fancy," you commented once he had everything settled and ready in front of you.
"Only the best for your stay here, miss," he joked and then proceeded to click on play.
You would've lied if you said the ramen wasn't good because this might have been the best meal you've had in years. It felt so perfect being in the comfort of a bed with hot soup while watching one of your favourite movies. Not only that, but there was this cute ass man next to you loving it as much as you were. This was quite a turn of events.
Jisung was a gentleman for taking your dishes out of the room after you were done enjoying the food. This meant that, for the remainder of the film, there was only a slight gap separating the two of you. Your focus no longer on eating, the only thing you could think of was the realization of Jisung's presence.
Needless to say, he was no better than you were. His eyes were still stuck on the screen but he could feel his head move instinctively towards your direction. It was much stronger than his free will, he was gravitating to you. As much as it scared the shit out of him, he was surprised to be loving it so much. You were easy to be around of, he didn't need to waste his social battery on you.
"Are you cold?" he asked as the characters on screen kept quiet for this scene.
You shivered a little, not having understood you were, in fact, cold. "A little."
"I- Do you... want to use the blanket?" he asked with uncertainty as he stared at the bedsheets beneath the both of you.
With a shy nod as a response, he invited you off the mattress so he could actually pull the covers down to allow you to make yourself comfortable. As you sat back down under the blankets, you stared at him in confusion upon noticing he sat still in a very stiff position on the covers of his side.
"This is ridiculous, come under here," you snorted at him but he didn't budge.
"That would be weird, wouldn't it?" he said in a small voice, making him too cute for your own sake.
"It is if you're making it weird. Don't question it, come on."
While your boldness took him aback for a second, he obliged the second after and, carefully, positioned himself in a much more comfortable way. Still, he was trying to draw himself away as far away from your body as possible. Of course, you understood the thought process of his actions but he was so far to the point he had to lean towards you to see the screen better. Even if you were thankful he was being respectful, this was simply ridiculous.
"Jisung," you sighed.
"What?"
Seeing that he wasn't moving a tiny bit, you took it upon yourself and scooted closer to his body, bringing the laptop with you before laying it on both of your legs. His body stiffed at the proximity and you thought of noticing him gulp.
"Is this okay?"
He looked back at you and nodded, his breath now cutting short from how close your faces were. If he had it in him, he would have kissed you right there and then. But sadly, this was not what happened and Jisung concentrated back to the movie.
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A routine was set quite rapidly after that night. Every once in a while, Jisung would call you up so you could make some progress in your research — which I can affirm was not advancing as fast as you wanted it to — and also just hang out. Whether you wanted this to happen or not, you were close to him and he became someone dear to you. Two months and a half after your arrival and you were closer to him than anyone else even, you dared to think, anyone back home.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" you snorted at Mina as soon as she stepped foot in the office you and Seungmin were working in.
"Tonight is party time, baby," she cheered. "Soohee is hosting the event of the year."
You exchanged glances with Seungmin before looking back at her. "What does that even mean?"
She deadpanned at you. "Soohee, that senior in theater class."
"The girl you told me we should both hate because she got the spot you wanted in that play?"
"So you do listen!"
You rolled your eyes, resulting to Seungmin laughing. You ignored his antics. "What are you implying here, Mina?"
"You're coming."
"I'm not."
"Please!" she pleaded with a pout. "Seungmin can come as well if that can convince you."
He raised his hand in disapproval. "First of all, I am invited already. Second of all, do I have a say in this?"
"No," Mina replied with a cheeky smile. "Come, Y/N, please. I haven't been out with my favourite girl since her incident and I miss getting drunk with her."
"Yeah, you do owe her that," Seungmin agreed to which you answered with a glare.
"No one asked for your opinion."
"But it is greatly appreciated," she said with a wink.
Looking back and forth at the both of them, you let out a huge groan, dropping your arms on your sides. "Fine, you win. I guess it will help with getting my mind off work and all."
She squealed before rushing to you to engulf your body in a tight hug. It was obvious you were going to regret it but did you really have a choice at this point?
"I'm done in an hour, I can continue working on your file if you want to leave in advance to get ready," Seungmin offered much to your dismay.
Mina's eyes glowed at his suggestion. "You're an angel, thank you so much."
"Nonsense!" you exclaimed. "I'll finish up with you, you can't be doing all of this on your own."
Mina tugged your arm to get you up from your seat. "Y/N," she whined.
Seungmin chuckled at the interaction. "Go, I'll be fine," he assured.
"Okay," you said reluctantly with a grateful smile.
You and Mina then rushed out of the building back to your apartment. The time was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and the party wasn't going to start in another two hours or so. But Mina was insistant on getting you ready and gossiping. Yes, gossiping.
As she had just sat you down on a chair in front of the mirror in the bathroom, about to curl your hair, she was giving you a look you were not liking. "So?" she said while wiggling one of her eyebrows.
"What?" you responded cluelessly while sipping onto your bubble tea.
She gave you another knowing look. "Oh, please, don't act like you don't know what I am referring to."
"Jisung?"
"Obviously."
You sighed. "He's helping me with some work, nothing more."
"You could have asked me," she shrugged, insinuating how actually hurt she was for not being as close to you as she used to. "I'm great with school work."
"I know but Jisung is... He just knows some stuff."
She scoffed. "Sure, he does. Just admit you asked for his help because you like the boy."
You got flustered very easily, bending your head onwards a little. Mina immediately replaced your head so she could continue to style your hair, inevitably exchanging looks with her through the mirror.
"Y/N," she insisted once more.
"It's not like that."
"If you say so," she said although it was clear she wasn't believing you. "I'm just trying to warn you. These guys are no good news."
"You say this because of Chan."
"I'm not," she argued.
Whether she wanted to admit it or not, her feelings were only getting the best of her. In a way, you were glad she was trying her best to protect you. At the same time, you'd seen no sign as to why you should be wary of Jisung. So far, he was someone sincere and honest, someone you really could rely on. It was hard for you to even think of the possibility of him hurting you.
"What if I like him?" you questioned.
She pondered for a second, visibly troubled by your question, but she answered. "Then I'll be very sad for you."
The remainder of time before the party was a bit awkward. You silently agreed to not speak on the matter anymore, so it was mostly small talk about what kind of products she was using to make your skin glow. It was hard to deny, she had the trick in terms of getting ready for events.
After bickering for a while about what you were to wear, you settled on a casual shirt with jeans while she chose a skirt for herself. You weren't planning on staying there for that long, anyway.
"Bye, my love," you cooed at your rabbit, earning a heavy sigh from your friend. "Hey! Let me love my bunny!"
"Alright, alright," she rolled her eyes. "Come on, now. We don't want to be late."
Soohee was the kind of girl who'd get anything from her parents as long as she kept her grades up. She was an excellent student, meaning she had literally everything she'd ask for. One of them was to have her own house near campus. Yes, her parents were that rich.
So no need to say how stunned you were when you arrived in front of the literal mansion. The music playing inside could already be heard from where you were and you spotted many students walking in and out of the place. This was worth to be in a movie. Funny enough, it was a movie. You began to wonder if this party would occur in the actual film. Probably not, since Jisung wasn't the type of person to go out.
"You're looking gorgeous, ladies," you heard coming from your right.
You smiled at Seungmin before enveloping him into a hug. "You don't look too bad yourself, Mr. Kim," you complimented.
"So," he let out after breaking away from your embrace. "This is what the big deal is about."
"Fancy, isn't it?" Mina said excitedly. "Let's go inside, I need a good drink."
Before you could say something, she was already heading towards the entrance. You and Seungmin couldn't do anything else but follow her. While you didn't feel at ease so much, you were happy to see a familiar face as soon as you walked in.
"Hyunjin?" you called him out.
The man had his arm wrapped around Soohee's shoulder when he spotted you. "Hey! Y/N, right?"
"That's me," you chuckled.
Soohee looked back and forth at the two of you. "You two know each other?"
Hyunjin shrugged. "A friend of a friend of a friend... We met each other a couple of times, nothing more," he explained, seemingly trying to reassure his partner. "Y/N, this is my girlfriend Soohee."
"I know, you're kind of a big name around here," you said to the girl.
"Yeah," she said sheepishly. "Nice to meet you! Any friend of Hyunjin is welcomed here."
Mina nudged your arm, a sign she wasn't too fond of your newfound friend. Nonetheless, she greeted the girl happily as if they had been friends for years. She was a lot better than you in faking kindness.
"I'm glad to see you made it," Soohee said with a smile.
"I could not miss it for the world," Mina said through her teeth.
The couple left to greet more people coming in, leaving your trio together. Mina, who hadn't enjoyed this interaction, hurried herself to go get something to drink — you and Seungmin following her again. The counter had tons of sorts of drinks. Some had questionable colours but most looked tasty as hell. Assuming Mina knew what to take, you picked a cup of the same drink as hers. Seungmin went ahead with getting himself a beer from the cooler near the counter.
"That girl is so annoyingly nice, I hate it," Mina spat out in-between sips.
"Now, don't be so harsh on the girl. We're in her house after all," Seungmin tried to resonate her.
She shrugged. "Sure. Y/N, I'm going to the other room if you want to come with me."
"What other room?" you asked, confused.
"The room at the back is the biggest of the house where interesting stuff happen."
You looked at Seungmin for advice but he shrugged, letting you choose for the three of you. You ended up following her lead since she was the expert in social events like these. She was right, the room was so much bigger and organized as to make a few beer pong stations in the middle while couches were put against the wall for those who preferred sitting down. Mina didn't wait for you when she heard that a new game of beer pong was starting and she rushed to say she and you would play.
"Oh, great," you mumbled to yourself but Seungmin heard you as clear as day.
"Go have fun," he chuckled but received a glare from you.
"Seungmin, want to join our team?" Mina yelled out at him, causing him to sigh.
"Come on, let's go have fun," you copied him teasingly and it was his turn to glare at you.
You took his hand despite his protests and joined Mina at the table. She was already setting the cups ready for the game and you lost no time in giving her a hand.
"Oh, Y/N?" you heard a familiar voice say.
Looking up, you were pleasantly surprised to see Changbin grinning at you. "Hey, Bin."
At the sight of the man, Mina's eyes went wide open. "Fuck, don't tell me..."
The worst she was expecting happened when Chan joined his friend's side. He looked as troubled by Mina's presence as she was by his. You felt like you shouldn't be there, their staring contest was a bit much for you.
"Do you still want to play?" you asked her in a worried voice.
"Why wouldn't I want to play anymore?" Mina acted as if nothing was wrong.
Chan let out a chuckle. "Alright, if you say so."
"You don't believe me, Christopher?"
His jaw clenched but he remained calm. "I didn't say the opposite."
"You're missing a player," Seungmin pointed out.
"Are we?" Changbin cheekily said.
Almost on cue, another man joined the lot as he placed himself next to Chan. As soon as he saw you, Jisung froze. While he didn't want to come to this party originally, he certainly did not expect you to be there. Even less dressed up like you were. That shirt of yours exposed so much of your skin and curves, he could feel the sweat on his forehead.
"My bad," Seungmin said upon seeing Jisung.
Your gaze lingered on him for longer than it should. While it was the others' turn to play, the two of you were exchanging a few looks with each other. It was either funny faces or one of you mouthing something the other couldn't understand. At one point, you were growing frustrated to no be able to decipher what he was trying to tell you. He chuckled as he saw the frown form on your face.
"Cute," he mouthed but you were still clueless.
"Uh?"
Yeah, he gave up. You were not the best at lip-reading, it wasn't your fault. Instead of repeating himself like he had done for a while now, he winked at you. That was new. Not knowing how to react, your face went red as you attempted to look at anywhere but him. He grinned at himself, satisfied by your reaction. You were too adorable, he hated it.
Your team ended up losing, much to Mina's disappointment. The girl had drank so much from the game only, you were growing worried about her physical state. Despite that, her fury against Chan was much stronger than a couple of drinks and she rushed after him once the game was over.
"I should follow her, right?" you said to Seungmin.
"Yeah, definitely," he affirmed which was all it took for you to go after her.
As you got closer, you reached out to grab her wrist but she broke free harshly. "Christopher Bang Chan!" she called out.
You winced in embarrassment, feeling bad for her. Chan immediately turned around, eyes growing bigger while Mina threw herself onto him. Luckily, he was quick to catch her.
"Hey, maybe you should sit down for a minute, yeah?" he said softly to her but she was not listening.
"You're such an ass, embarrassing me all the fucking time," she claimed.
You felt a nudge on your arm and let out a sigh of relief when you saw Jisung by your side. You had been meaning to go see him once you made sure Mina was alright. Clearly, this was not how things were going.
"Maybe we should leave them some privacy," Jisung suggested.
"But Mina is obviously not okay," you argued.
"Chan is with her, it'll be fine."
He took your hand and, reluctantly, you agreed to follow him outside to get some fresh air. The night was just a little breezy, but it was perfect for this kind of social gathering. There was, unsurprisingly, an inground pool along with a jacuzzi and a few outdoor couches. A little fire was lit further away from the house where some guys you didn't know were conversing in laughs. You were glad to see that none of them had a drink nearby, meaning it wouldn't turn into a disaster.
Jisung led you to one of the couches and sat with you. You had not noticed until then but he brought you a drink along with his. You thanked him as he offered it to you and you sipped in silence while watching the other students mess around. Some couples were making out in front of everyone, groups of friend were dancing together, others were simply catching up... Somehow, it was calmer outside than what was happening in the house.
"I never thought I'd see you here," Jisung informed with a small laugh.
"I could say the same about you. What are you even doing here?" you asked, genuinely curious.
"Soohee has some friends who work in an entertainment company. Chan thought it'd be a good idea to make some contacts within the industry so we can get somewhere with our stuff," he explained without much enthusiasm.
"I suppose things are still not taking off?"
He scoffed with a small smile. "We've been putting music out for a while. Shouldn't we at least have established a bit of a fanbase yet?"
"I'm a fan," you grinned widely.
"It's different, the real Y/N wouldn't like our stuff. Besides, you're my friend. That doesn't count."
You tried to ignore the hurt his comment caused to your heart. "What tells you she wouldn't have liked it? And, sure, I'm your friend but I'm honest. I would have told you if your music was trash."
He smiled thankfully but you still saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I really appreciate it. Still, you're too nice and you might just be trying to cheer me up right now."
"Fine, guilty," you sighed. "I am trying to cheer you up but I'm sincere. I love your music."
He let out a heavy breath before taking your hand, rubbing the top of it softly with his thumb. "Thank you."
"It's nothing, I'm being truthful," you said while raising your shoulders.
"What about you? Why did you come here?" he said, letting go of your hand to take another sip of his drink.
You tried to hide the fact you missed his touch already and cleared your throat. "Mina."
This was all the explanation he needed. "She would have been too suspicious of you if you didn't go to a party with her at some point."
"I know, that makes me want to go home even more honestly."
He choked up on his drink at your statement. You panicked for a second, patting his back to make sure he was okay. Once his coughing stopped he looked at you right in the eye.
"That much?" he asked in an almost hurt voice.
You gibbered for a bit, unsure as to why he was reacting this way. "I mean, kind of? As much as I love it here, I do miss my family and my actual bed," you tried to joke but he didn't laugh with you.
"Minho's not working this Tuesday if you want to come at the library. We could do more digging into the books," he suggested.
"Oh, sure. Actually, that'd be perfect. Thank you, Ji."
Your smile pained him even more. Of course, he couldn't blame you for wanting to go back home, he would have felt the same. However, there was something about you he became addictive of. Whether it was your being, your presence, your ability to make him feel comfortable so easily... All of it became something he couldn't imagine losing. There was something else within you, a spark. The last time he saw one like it was with his mother.
"Hey," you called for him. "Are you okay?"
Remembering where he was, he gulped and got up. "Sorry, I have to go."
And just like that, he went back inside without a word. You watched him, confused, until his shadow disappeared among the other figures around him. You wanted to follow him but not knowing what had caused him to leave so abruptly held you off. Was he mad at you? And what for? You couldn't bear with imagining you had caused him pain. Hesitantly, you got up and walked towards the back door. Only, you never reached the back door.
"Ouch!" you yelled out when your body collided with a frame bigger than your own.
"Oh my Gosh, Y/N, I'm so sorry," the person immediately apologized.
While you had technically never met him before, you recognized Jeongin from the pictures in your phone. "No, don't worry about it. I wasn't looking."
"But I kind of spilled my drink on you," he chuckled, embarrassed. "And you spilled yours too."
You looked at your empty cup and groaned in annoyance. "Great."
"Do you want my hoodie to cover the stain?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, just give it back to me next time we see each other," he said with a bright smile. "Talking about that, I haven't seen you in a while."
You gratefully put his hoodie on and followed as he was walking back inside to get himself a new cup. "Yeah, I haven't been myself lately let's say."
"Beer? Punch? Sangria?" he asked while pointing at the different beverages.
"Sangria," you picked out and he gave it to you before picking one for himself.
"Yeah, Mina told me you had an amnesia episode or something?"
"Or something... I'm better now, though. Well, I think so."
He let out a laugh. "You do seem good. I assume you remembered me since you didn't look so confused when I went on about not having seen you in a while."
"Yeah, I do. It's a bit blurry but it's coming back to me slowly."
"Good, I'm glad. Did you go to a doctor to check it out?"
Oh. That was suspicious, wasn't it? Claiming to have amnesia without getting a professional to take a look at it. Your heart began to race as anxiety spread through your body. What if Jeongin was to uncover your act? What would happen then?
"I brought her to one the first day."
You thanked whoever who had brought Jisung near to save you. You wouldn't be able to explain how relieved you felt at this moment.
"Oh, that's good," Jeongin nodded. "Jisung, isn't it?"
He nodded. "Do you mind if I steal her from you?"
He sent the both of you a knowing look and didn't protest before walking away to elsewhere. As Jisung watched him leave, he sighed as he was about to nag you for not being careful. However, as soon as his focus was back on you, he froze in place when you dropped into his arms. It wasn't too noticeable but he could feel your body shaking.
"Thank fucking God, you were there," you breathed out. "I thought you were mad and I was going to look for you but I bumped into him and then I-"
"Hey," he stopped you. "I'm not mad at you, you don't have to explain anything to me." He pulled away from you but still had a grip on your shoulders. "How about we stick together for tonight?"
You nodded in agreement which he responded with his boxy smile. For a second — although it felt like minutes —, you couldn't see anything else but him. There was no way to describe how you felt around him. It was a mix of safety, happiness, comfort, nervosity, etc. All of these feelings, and more, altogether.
"You're pretty," you unconsciously let yourself slip out.
Jisung's cheeks had a faint pink colour to them but it didn't seem to bother him. "I think you're the pretty one between us," he corrected.
You shook your head and got closer to his face to inspect his features. "You're prettier," you affirmed once you analyzed his face.
He let a nervous laugh out. "Y/N..." he began, but didn't seem to find it in him to finish his sentence.
Your being brought him into a whole other world. If this was travelling universes, he'd want to do it all the time. This world only had you and him in it. Curiously, he was content with that idea. Somewhere where it could only be the two of you.
"Kiss me."
His brain short-circuited. A second ago, his mind was elsewhere, and now, you brought him back to reality in an instant. However, he still wasn't able to acknowledge people surrounding you. His sole focus was on the two words you said, and on your lips. Those pink lips he had always wished to kiss ever since that night when he saw you in his clothes. And you were demanding him to kiss you. Why couldn't he do it?
"Whoo!"
The loud scream coming from only a few meters away from you broke you out of your trance. Your gazes darted away from each other to find Minho, who was very much drunk, proudly showing his empty can to a group of girls after doing a shotgun.
The two of you, still holding onto each other, opted to go back to the main room in order to diffuse the weird tension between you. The sight you stumbled upon certainly was not what you thought of seeing any time soon. Chan was grabbing Mina by the waist, keeping her body close to his, as they kissed hungrily in the corner of the room. Near them was an annoyed Changbin, doing everything he could to avoid looking at the couple. The moment he spotted the two of you, he waved at you to come and join him.
"What's this about?" you asked, motioning towards your friends.
"Long story short, they left for a while and came back like this."
"Who would have thought she'd get laid with Chan?" you huffed.
Changbin glared at you. "Thank you for stating the obvious, Y/N."
Well, Changbin was being pretty sensitive tonight. It might have been the alcohol or the dislike he had for Mina. Anyhow, this looked pretty funny to you.
"The party's here, I see," Felix exclaimed as he joined you, bringing his arms around you and Jisung. "How are you, guys?"
"Tired," Changbin replied grumpily.
Hyunjin, Soohee, and Minho, who had all been following Felix, came to sit on the couch next to you. You had just then realized Seungmin was nowhere to be found, which was odd considering he wouldn't have been the kind to wander around too much.
"Soohee," Changbin called for the girl who broke her kiss with Hyunjin to look at him. "Did they say anything to you?"
You assumed he was referring to these friends of hers who worked in the music industry. Soohee clapped her hands together in response, a wide smile spread on her face.
"They've got a spot this summer for new producers and they told me they'll slide a word to their boss to give you the position," she squealed excitedly.
"You're kidding," Jisung said blankly, not believing her.
"I'm not!" she affirmed.
Jisung heard her right. Still, he couldn't fully process what she said. He had the chance to actually make a career out of his hobby. This felt so unreal, his face remained hard as stone, unable to express what he was feeling. Quite frankly, he didn't know what he was feeling himself. While the others around him were cheering happily about the excellent news, everything was a blur for him. Even if he couldn't be any happier, this also meant things were getting serious. Was he ready for this? He was still so young, maybe this was happening fast.
"Ji?" you said to him softly, noticing that he wasn't quite there.
"Uh?" he said while blinking slowly.
"You good?"
He swallowed and then stared back at you. "It's all a tad overwhelming," he admitted.
You gave him a reassuring smile before taking his hand. "How about we celebrate for now and worry about the rest later?"
This did the trick to bring him back fully from his thoughts and he finally allowed himself to cheer with the others. The first thing he did was bring your body into an embrace, holding you close. So close, you could feel his breath grazing the top of your ears, sending a shiver down your spine.
"Guys," Soohee said loudly enough to grab everyone's attention. "I have to precise, there is no certainty you'd be taken. But if you are, then don't mess it up. You've got one chance, and only one."
"Having the position or not, this is the furthest we've gotten so far," Chan answered. "Either way, this is accomplishment."
"I say we drink to this!"
You widened your eyes when you saw Seungmin leaning onto Jeongin as the both of them walked towards you. This was definitely not how you imagined Seungmin be by the end of the night. He was the last person who'd get drunk like this. However, nobody seemed to care and they all agreed to get themselves more alcohol for the occasion.
Meh, at this point, nothing was keeping you from having fun. Besides, Jisung was there. There was nothing to be worried about, as long as he was around to keep you safe.
You didn't know how long you had been drinking and dancing with Mina when you felt yourself getting dizzy. You tried to shake yourself out of your drunken state but there was no use, you had consumed more than needed. Although Mina wanted for you to keep partying with her, you had enough sanity to decline and make your way back to the couches.
The faint view you had in front of you was of a concerned Jisung discussing with Minho. As soon as his eyes laid on your clumsy self, he lost no time in holding onto you to keep yourself from tripping.
"Hey, there," he said softly before guiding you to sit down. "How about you take a little water break?"
You pfft at him. "Who needs water? It tastes like shit."
"I'm not giving you a choice."
Before you could argue, Minho — who you hadn't noticed had left — held a bottle in front of you. Jisung gave him a thankful nod as he took it from him and opened it for you. One would say you were acting like a child as he was trying to get you to drink. Your whines and uncoherent babbles were both concerning and cute to him. The pink that had appeared on your cheeks didn't help.
"It's near 3:00 A.M." he informed to nobody in particular.
"Wow, so early!" you exclaimed.
"You're right, I think it's time we get you home."
You frowned. "Get me home? You found a way to get me home?"
He shut his eyes close for a second. "Not like that, your other home."
You pouted. "But I miss my bed."
"I know you do. Now, can you be quieter? There are people around," he whispered in your ear which tickled it.
"Ji," you giggled and he sighed in exasperation.
"Chan, Changbin," he said to his friends who were standing next to you both. "I think we should leave."
"Finally!" Changbin said with a groan. "I'll get our stuff."
"And I'll get Mina," Chan said before wincing at the sight of his lover.
The girl had found her way to a table where she had let her body fall onto. Her face was inches away from a beer someone had left behind and you could see in her eyes how she was debating internally whether she should take it or not.
The boys had no problem with taking the both of you in Changbin's car and driving back to their place. Although the two other men argued on getting you to your apartment, Changbin just wanted to go back in the comfort of his room. Not that he didn't have fun that night but he was tired as hell. As he was the designated driver, his friends didn't protest any more and they drove home.
"Are you okay with her?" Chan asked Jisung in a concerned voice as they both helped you and Mina get inside.
"Take care of her, don't worry about us. I'll just help her get in bed," he assured and Chan gave him a nod before disappearing in his own room with Mina.
You were left in his care as Changbin had no worry other than going to sleep. You weren't heavy which made the task so much easier for Jisung. Even if you were still mumbling things he couldn't understand fully, you seemed much relaxed than back at Soohee's which he took as a good sign. He carefully laid you down on his bed, making sure he placed your head properly on the pillow.
"Jisung," you mumbled.
He instantly stopped moving you around and crouched to face you. "What is it? Do you need anything?"
"What if I can't get home?"
His heart stopped for a second. He knew you had worries because you still hadn't found a way to travel back to your world but he hadn't noticed how much it actually was affecting you. He was foolishly too focused on spending time with you to notice that. It was time he showed you what he found, he thought. He couldn't be this selfish any longer, it was hurting you.
"You'll find a way, I'm sure of it."
Of course, he was. He had already found it. He was just not ready to see you go yet. Yeah, he shouldn't have gotten so attached to you. But can you blame him? You were so warm and caring to him, it didn't take long for him to like you.
"I'm not so sure, myself," you began to cry and it broke his heart.
"Don't cry, it'll happen," he shushed you softly, rubbing your shoulder.
Without thinking (well, you weren't thinking at all under the influence of alcohol), you took his arm and pulled him closer clumsily. You somehow managed to get him on the mattress and you snuggled into his chest. You could tell he didn't know how to react but you couldn't care less. You were sobbing and in need of his warmth.
"Y/N," he said in a whisper.
"The thing is, I don't even know if I want to go back anymore," you continued to cry.
He was confused about your statement. "What do you mean?"
The rubs he was giving you on your back gave you goosebumps, you didn't know if you had the energy to keep yourself from spilling anything you'd regret the next day. "I mean that I like being here with you."
His breath increased. "I am fun to be around," he joked as to ignore what he knew you were insinuating.
"As in I like you."
Here, you said it. Fatigue mixed with drinking hadn't been of help with keeping this to yourself. Heck, you didn't even admit it to yourself and here you were declaring your crush on a fictional boy. This was ridiculous. However, your sober mind was not present. You would have to worry about that later.
In the meantime, Jisung couldn't find the words to respond to this. This was what he had hoped for in a while, you feeling the same towards him. Still, he knew as much as you that this couldn't happen. But fuck, he couldn't fake it any more. Not only that but he had also drank his fair share, he wasn't fully aware of himself either. That's why he wasn't able to stop himself from speaking his mind.
"I think I like you too."
Six simple words. And yet, that was all it took for something to snap in your head. Moving to be face to face with him, you pulled him by the collar of his shirt and crashed your lips on his. He was quick to match your movements and pace making your lips move in total sync. Even if this was wrong on so many levels, there wasn't anything that felt as right as this. It was almost like you were meant to be together like this.
Jisung swiftly pushed you to be on your back while he positioned himself on top of you, giving him better access to pepper your face with small pecks. As one of his hands stood next to your head to steady himself, the other had no problem exploring your curves, moving up and down from your waist to your hips. A few squeezes here and there, and you were gasping. You wanted more. Your fingers found their way underneath his shirt and you couldn't stop yourself from touching the skin of his abdomen. Fuck, since when was he so toned?
You felt him shiver under your touch and he growled before attacking your neck, sucking on your skin. You gasped and a moan escaped your mouth. This was definitely going to be visible tomorrow.
"Make that sound again," he said in a raspy voice and it made your mind go crazy.
As he sucked once more, you moaned again and you could tell he was having the time of his life getting you to make these noises for him. In a hurry, you took the hem of his shirt and pulled it up needily. You felt his lips form a smirk against your skin. In the time of a blink, he helped you remove his shirt which now left him totally exposed to you. Your eyes widened at the sight. You didn't know he had been working out, his proportions were insane. From his tiny waist to his prominent pecs to his massive arms; he was perfect.
It didn't take long for him to get your shirt off as well. What he hadn't expected was the lack of bra. He immediately became bright red from seeing your breast on full display in front of him. Although this was a view that took his breath away, it switched something in his mind. He suddenly realized what was happening, as if he was sobering up all of the sudden.
"Y/N," he said again, his voice now shaky. "I can't do this."
You frowned. "What? Why not?"
"We're both drunk, I can't possibly take advantage of you like this."
Before he could hear your complaints, he got off of you and back on his feet next to the bed. Carefully, he brought the covers over your body and tucked you in. While you were still pouting, something about him caring that much about your well-being made your stomach flip upside down. He placed a kiss on top of your head and was about to leave the room. Only, you didn't let him.
Grabbing his finger, you looked up at him. "Stay."
And to that, he couldn't say no. So he stayed.
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You would have been much better if you hadn't woken up half-naked in Jisung's bed the next day. While you thought you were in the comfort of your dorm with Mina, the scent of Jisung was all over the covers, engulfing you in another type of comfort. In a way, you were glad it was in his home that you were. On the other hand, his shirtless body laying next to you sent you into panic mode real quick. You had no recalling on what happened after the whole gang began drinking like there was no tomorrow and, frankly, you wondered if you wanted to know what happened.
You sat straight up, pulling the blankets over your chest to cover your bare skin, but an intense headache suddenly hit you. You had forgotten how hangovers were this painful. No shit you weren't going out a lot. As you winced at the pain, a few images came back to you.
The first to hit was Jisung's lips on yours. You suddenly remembered how you had pulled him into a kiss after having cried in his arms in his room. It still wasn't clear why you were sad, but one thing was for sure: you fucked up big time.
Another image that hit you was Mina in a much worse state than yours. Chan had her in his arms while her face became so pale to the point it wasn't a skin colour anymore. Where was she even? Did she make it back home.
The final memory you got back was of you removing Jisung's shirt. Well, at least you knew who between the two of you had been needier than the other. You cursed at yourself, already regretting having allowed yourself to let go this much. This guy wasn't real, for fuck's sake. In no way could you even consider the option of having feelings for him.
Well, there wasn't any feelings, technically. It was only a bit of kissing and making out, nothing more.
"Good morning," a deep and raspy voice greeted you, making you almost jump out of bed.
Jisung stretched his arms out before yawning loudly. Once he opened his eyes fully, he was met with your panicked face. That automatically got him nervous and by the way you were shamefully covering yourself, he felt like nothing good was about to happen.
"Fuck," he cursed out in a whisper before rubbing his face with both hands.
"That's one word to describe it," you huffed shyly. "Do you remember what happened?"
He lifted his head up and perked an eyebrow. "Do you remember what happened?" When he saw you hesitate, he cursed again. "Shit, I'm so sorry."
"No, no," you immediately said. "I do remember most of it. Just, not in details, if that makes sense."
His shoulders relaxed but that didn't dismiss the worry spread on his face. "So, what now?"
"Good question."
You didn't dare looking at one another, you were both too ashamed for that. As you were trying to find the right thing to say next, a loud bang was heard from the kitchen. You determined the boys must have woken up after hearing Chan nag Changbin for being clumsy. You and Jisung exchanged an awkward chuckle but that was it. You still weren't able to say anything.
"What's up, guys! Woah," Chan coughed out when seeing your physical state and he closed the door right after. "Uh, so... I made breakfast if you're hungry."
"Thanks, we'll be out in a bit."
The footsteps faded away after a few seconds which was your cue you were back to the awkward moment with Jisung. He didn't seem any more comfortable than you and you began to question if he had any regrets. Obviously, you hated yourself for what occurred last night but you couldn't regret it. It was so passionate and intimate, you hadn't felt so much lust with someone in a long time.
Jisung was the first to finally move and he walked to his closet. Shamefully, you couldn't contain yourself from looking. His back was well-defined, he was like a sculpture. There was no way his body was this perfect.
"Here," he said before throwing a hoodie your way. "I figured mine would look better on you than Jeongin's."
He didn't let you say anything back and he was out the room the second later, lazily putting a shirt on as he walked to the kitchen. You were left dumbfounded as you stared at the piece of clothing in your hands. There was a hint of teasing and jealousy in his voice, you kind of liked it. It wasn't possible for you that he had noticed Jeongin's shirt so much that he'd mention it to you. It was one way to know he might have feelings similar to yours.
After shaking your mind off these thoughts, you threw the hoodie on and went to join the boys to go eat. As soon as you stepped inside the kitchen, your gaze found Mina's. She looked much better than last night, having found her colours a little. She waved at you happily before taking another bite of her toast.
"I didn't remember you coming here with us," you commented as you sat next to Jisung (which was oddly the last free seat).
"To be honest, I don't remember a thing," she laughed. "But I do know Chan and I made up so that is what matters." She leaned to kiss him and then smiled even more. "I heard the two of you had an exciting night."
Jisung choked on his juice, coughing loudly. You chuckled a little but that didn't prevent you from blushing either.
"I'm guessing Hannie finally made a move," Changbin teased his younger friend with a nudge.
"I'd be more prone to think Y/N did," Chan added.
Your face grew redder by the second. "Can we not talk about it?"
This seemed to do the job and the others kept their mouths shut for the rest of the breakfast, only discussing about Mina and Chan's reunion. While you tried your best to take part in the conversation, your shoulder barely touching Jisung's distracted you too much. Weird, no? Only a few hours earlier, you had no shame touching him but here you were, terrified by his mere presence.
"I'll walk you home," Jisung announced once you were both back in his room.
"I can walk by myself just fine, thank you," you turned him down as you grabbed the shirt you were wearing last night along with Jeongin's hoodie.
"I'm not offering," he insisted. "I need to make sure you get there safely."
"Mina and I will walk together," you insisted back, not understanding why he was being so stubborn.
This time, he admitted defeat and dropped himself on his bed. "Text me when you get home, at least?"
"I will."
It reassured him a bit as he smiled shyly. "I'll text you for Tuesday, also."
Oh, right, Tuesday. You almost forgot about it. With a small nod, you left his room and joined Mina at the front door. She and Chan exchanged knowing looks but you ignored them. Waving bye to your friends, you both took off to get back home.
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Tuesday came sooner than you had wanted to. Jisung barely texted you, only a few times to let you know where he was at with his research. Other than that, the few past days had mostly consisted of you ranting about your complicated relationship to Seungmin. The poor guy hadn't asked for anything and here he was, forced to listen to your problems. He actually did not mind, he was simply not very expressive when it came to gossiping.
"Are you sure you don't have more files to work on?" you asked him once again.
He deadpanned at you. "Stop this, you're going to go there and face him."
You whined. "I don't want to."
"You have to."
"Can't you come with me?"
"No!"
You huffed in annoyance. "Are you really my friend?"
He rolled his eyes at your question. "You're being so dramatic. What is even the problem? You like him, he likes you; it should be easy."
You bit your lower lip down. "It's more complicated than that."
"Is it?"
It was no use trying to explain to him, that would involve outing you out and you couldn't risk it. So, you sucked your sappy self up and left the office, earning you a "there you go" from Seungmin. You were supposed to meet with Jisung an hour ago but you were too much of a scaredy cat to actually get to the library and you worked some more to buy yourself time. But Seungmin was right, you couldn't put it off any longer.
You were almost shaking when you found yourself in front of the library's door. From outside, you could see him through the window. He was doing nothing more than sorting books and scanning a couple of them but the sight of him was all you needed to make your heart beat ten times faster. Taking a deep breath in, you repeated to yourself this was no big deal. You were coming to see a friend, nothing more. You finally pushed the door open and walked to the front desk. As he had told you, Minho was nowhere in sight. His back was still facing you, meaning he hadn't noticed you yet.
"Just a moment and I'm all yours," he spoke as he finished up his task.
This was a simple phrase of politeness. And yet, the idea of him being yours briefly passed through your eyes. No, this was getting out of hand. You had to stop this behaviour.
As soon as he turned around, his mouth's shape changed into an "o". "I thought you bailed on me."
You scratched the side of your arm in shame. "I had extra work to do at the office."
"No, it's all good. I just thought-" he was about to say but paused before shaking his head. "Never mind. There aren't many students today so we should be fine in terms of discretion."
You nodded as you watched him walk around the counter. Did he really have to look that good in his red shirt? He seemed to have put much more effort in his appearance than usual. Nevertheless, this was not the time to check him out. You followed his steps towards a section in the back, one you hadn't explored yet. You were quite perplexed when he stopped in front of the fairy tale section and scrunched his nose while scanning through the books.
"Fairy tales?" you scoffed. "You must be joking."
He rolled his eyes as he pulled out one book. "Let me show you first."
"Well, sorry but this is not very promising."
He sent one more glare your way and began to flip the pages. "Don't be mad, I actually found this a while ago. I was afraid you-" he restrained himself from speaking again. "That you'd judge it because it is a fairy tale."
This was not what he wanted to say originally, you could easily tell but the way he cleared his throat. Even though you wanted to insist for him to spill it, he didn't let you by shoving a page in your face. You scrutinized the words attentively as you took the book from him. It might have been a fairy tale, a work of fiction, but the story was almost identical to how you arrived in this world.
Once upon a time, a princess lived in a castle. The girl loved her castle more than you could imagine. She was living a happy life on her own with the company of the animals of the forest. Some were big, some were small, but all loved the princess very much.
One day, the princess was reading a book like she would do every night before going to bed. The only difference was how marveled she was by its story. It told the journey of a boy living in the country, trying his best to live by his late mother's wishes despite not being very wealthy. Something about this boy moved her, she felt for him.
As she was about to go back to her chambers, one missed step on the stairs caused her to lose balance. In the snap of a finger, she tripped. Only, she never really fell. Once she opened her eyes, she was in a place she had never visited before. She was in a quaint little farm where a dozen of hens were greeting her with their clucks. Confused she was but these thoughts vanished when her gaze fell on a boy. She immediately knew who he was.
"How is this relevant?" you groaned, not understanding how he even thought this was anything close to what you had experienced.
"She tripped and found a boy, just like you," he pointed out. "You can skip to the last page, that's where it shows how she came back to her palace."
The boy invited the princess for dinner. It was not much, but it was all he could afford for her. He had cooked all of the dishes by himself, something he was quite proud of. He was hoping he would be proposing to the girl. Tonight was supposed to be the most gorgeous eclipse of their era, according to the village's sorcerer. He would not miss the opportunity to make the most of it.
When the princess arrived in the backyard of his home, her heart melted at how beautiful the boy had arranged the place. It was so simple but it felt like home. A blanket had been laid next to his family's tree and, on top, he had placed the food along with the best beverage he was capable of buying.
The night was perfect. The princess had fallen in love with this place, never wanting to leave. Especially not when she had just realized how fond she had grown of her new friend. Dare to say, she was smitten. As they were watching the last seconds of the eclipse, the boy gathered all of his courage and pulled the princess closer to him. With the shadow over them, they shared their very first kiss.
What they did not know was how this would also be their last. Slowly, the girl's figure began to fade away, vanishing into thin air. The panic on the boy's face was one she had never seen before, one of great pain. She was devasted, so was he. She then understood this was her time to come home. As she forced a smile through her tears, she mumbled the only phrase she had meant to tell him all along.
You shut the book closed, not wanting to read the rest. "Really? A stupid little story is the answer to my problem?"
Jisung almost shivered from how cold your tone was. He had never meant for you to think he wasn't taking you seriously, of course he was. In a way, he did understand why it seemed idiotic of him to show you this. But he knew this was your last hope. Everything you'd tried so far was a great failure. And since the moment you told him how homesick you were at the party, he now wanted nothing more but to make you happy. Even if it meant losing you.
"She was reading a book, you were watching a movie. She tripped, you tripped. She found a boy, you found me," he went on to explain. "And, if I'm not wrong, you fell in love with me like she did."
Your breath cut short. Was it so obvious? You did everything in your power to not let it show, even more to not let it happen. Apparently, love did not work like this and couldn't be helped. This whole thing was shitty, falling in love with someone you could never be with.
"You're wrong," you mumbled. "I care about you a lot, but I wouldn't call this love," you lied — apart when you said you cared about him.
He huffed. "What would you call what happened the other night, then? Because, for me, it looked a lot like it was a confession of your feelings. Unless you'd been leading me on."
It was your turn to huff. "You think I would stoop so low as to do something like this to you?"
"If it isn't because you love me, I don't know what it is."
Unexpectedly, heavy footsteps came your way, You both turned around to see Minho walking to you, red in his eyes. You glared at Jisung since you thought Minho wasn't supposed to be here in the first place.
"If you're to argue about your little love life, can you do it outside? I can hear you from the entrance."
"I thought you weren't working today," Jisung said with a frown, ignoring what his friend had complained about.
"I don't work tomorrow, I'm taking over for the evening today."
Shit, Jisung didn't look at the work sheet properly. Despite your dark eyes still on him, he grabbed your wrist and led you outside, apologizing quickly to Minho as you walked past him. You tried to break away but he was stronger than you were, leaving you no choice but to follow him. He ignored the beeping sound caused by the book you were still holding as you hadn't officially rented it. Once out of the library, he did not stop there. Instead, he continued to walk away leaving you as clueless as ever.
Finally, you began to piece things together when you saw where he was heading to. It didn't take you more than a minute or so to reach the football field, exactly where you had started bonding only two months ago.
"Okay, can you explain to me now?" he sighed, crossing his arms on his chest.
You massaged your wrist. "First off, ouch." He only rolled his eyes which kind of hurt you somehow. "Second off, there is nothing to explain."
"Almost sleeping together after you told me you like me isn't nothing," he persisted.
"Why does it matter?" you groaned, getting annoyed. "I'm to go back to my world, it wouldn't change anything."
"For me, it would."
"Why?"
He grunted in frustration before grabbing you by the shoulders, visibly not in control of his actions anymore. "Because I love you."
You stared at him in silence, mouth agape. You couldn't comprehend fully what he said. He couldn't possibly love you. And if he really did, this entire thing had taken a whole new turn you weren't sure you could handle.
"What?" you whispered, not finding the strength in you to speak loud enough.
"I love you," he repeated, loosening his grip on you. "I've never been the best in terms of opening up and all. But with you? This has never been so easy. There is something about you, a spark. It feels homey and safe. I find extreme comfort and reassurance just by your presence. Not only that, you understand me on so many levels, I wonder if you know me better than myself at times.
"And at the party... Fuck, Y/N, it was like you got me under a spell. I always needed to have an eye on you or I thought of suffocating. Then, when we were in my room, it broke my heart when you began saying you were afraid to never be able to leave."
You almost wanted to thank him for not referring again to the physical part of the whole thing, how you had almost given yourself to him. Despite that, this whole-hearted confession of his was no longer only about mere feelings he had. He actually loved you.
"I'm sorry," you mustered the energy to say.
What were you apologizing for? Even you didn't know. For letting him love you this much, probably. You were dying to tell him you felt the same but in no way was this how things were supposed to be. Loving each other was only going to cause you great pain.
"Tell me you felt something too, please," he pleaded, eyes watery.
You could feel the lump in your throat grow when you shook your head, refusing to tell him what he wanted to hear. That was what made him let go of you as he took a few steps back. You hurt him.
"I'm sorry for reading into things that weren't there," he pettily scoffed. "Read the rest," he motioned the book. "There's an eclipse this Saturday just so you know. Find a way to get back, but don't count on me helping you in this madness anymore."
He turned on his heels and walked off in a hurry pace, obviously wanting to get as far from you as possible. You wanted to call him out, cry, scream, anything. But nothing. Your body was limp and wasn't letting you express what you were feeling. Instead, you dropped on the bench next to you with the book on your thighs.
You opened it back to read the end. Just like you had anticipated, this was only heartbreaking to come to the conclusion neither characters saw each other again. This was what you wanted to avoid, live with an void in your heart because you fell in love with the protagonist.
You did everything to prevent it. But you failed.
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Saturday was dangerously coming fast and your stubborn self was refusing to reach out to Jisung. He told you to find a solution on your own, that was what you had been doing. Nevertheless, the only remaining option was him. He had to be there.
You ended up telling the truth to Mina the night after your argument. It was inevitable, your emotionless stare outed you right away the moment she saw you. You couldn't hide it from her anymore. She took it better than you thought. Not only that, you also told her about the whole movie thing. She had been nothing but supportive, not even a bit bothered that she was fictional.
"Fictional or not, what I feel is real and that's what matters," she had answered when you asked why she remained this calm.
She was a bit of a replacement for Jisung, she was fully aware of that. But when it came to trying to get you home, she insisted the fairy tale wasn't just an odd coincidence. And that was why you were staring at your phone with nothing but fear.
"If you don't tell him to meet you at the park tonight, I will," Mina threatened, growing impatient as it had been almost ten minutes since you agreed to invite Jisung.
"He'll think I'm just using him to get home," you argued.
"I guess you are, but he won't care about that. If he loves you, it'll be stronger than his free will to come to your help."
You bit on your lip and finally picked the phone up. Opening your chat with Jisung, your fingers lingered above the keyboard. You knew what to say. The issue was how were you going to word it. After one last glance at Mina, you took a deep breath and began to type.
Y/N: Hey. How have you been?
No, this sounded too weird. It was obvious he hadn't been well, it'd be stupid to start the message like this.
Y/N: Hey! I know I haven't been exactly the greatest friend to you. You are right, I keep leading you on when I fully know that what we have can't even happen. It doesn't change the fact that I never wanted to hurt you intentionally and I am so sorry for the trouble I've caused. If you are still willing to forgive me, and maybe help me, meet me at 4 at the park where we met. There are many things I still need to tell you. I hope to see you there.
Sent. And now all you had left to do was wait. Mina hugged you tight as soon as you let go of the phone. You could tell she was proud, it felt nice to know she cared this much for you.
"If he does show up, does it mean I won't see you again?" Mina asked while still hugging you.
"Most likely, yes," you breathed out. "You'll have your Y/N back."
She chuckled. "She's not like you. Sure, I miss her, but it would have been better if having the two of you was an option."
It was your turn to laugh and you pulled away from the hug. "I promise I won't tell a soul about this," she affirmed.
You smiled gratefully. "Do you mind doing me one last favour?"
"Anything," she didn't hesitate to respond.
"One last makeover?"
The grin was all the answer you needed. You spend the afternoon doing some self-care activities while exchanging and laughing. She asked you some more about your own world and you answered. You hated to admit so but you were going to miss her. You never had one close friend in particular, it was always people scattered a bit everywhere without being so close to them. It was probably a sign you needed to bond more with your own friends.
That was if Jisung showed up. There was no telling when the next eclipse would happen so the option of staying here for much longer stayed in your mind vividly.
4 o'clock was approaching and Mina was still debating whether you should go for a dress or a jumpsuit. You let her have her fun when you heard the notification sound coming from your phone. You immediately rushed to see if Jisung had replied but you were left disappointed when you saw it was only a promotional text from some random company. Your message, however, had been read. But no reply.
Mina said nothing from seeing your sad face, but she came to show you the dress she chose. You were still amazed at how she always found the perfect combination for an outfit.
"Do you want me to come with you?" she offered but you shook your head.
"I'll be fine, but thank you."
She let you get changed and once you did so, the two of you sat in silence in your shared dining room. You were intensely staring at the clock and it was killing you how time seemed to pass by so slowly. Eventually, ten minutes before 4 o'clock came and it was time to head out.
Mina couldn't help herself but cry as she hugged you close to her. "Don't forget me, yeah?"
"I could never," you reassured. "And don't forget, the other Y/N is still me in a way. You haven't lost me completely."
She sniffled as she let go of your body. "Good luck with your man."
You gave her one last warm smile and you walked out the door. You sighed heavily as you walked down the stairs. This was already a day full of emotions, you weren't sure if you were ready for what would happen next. Either you'd be heartbroken Jisung didn't come or you'd have to leave him forever after finally telling him how you truly felt.
The walk to the park was quick and you were about a minute early. You walked to one of the swings and sat there, slowly swinging your body back and forth. You were glad the weather wasn't too cold since the dress wasn't exactly the warmest thing you could have worn.
Minutes passed, maybe even an hour. There was still no sign of Jisung. You began to think it was a bad idea to ask him to meet where his mother had died but you assumed it being the spot where you appeared would be an important factor to get back to your world. Perhaps he simply didn't want to see you again. You did hurt him a lot, it would be understandable.
You weren't counting the minutes anymore when you concluded he wouldn't come. Jumping onto your feet, you were on the verge of walking back to Mina but you stopped on your tracks stiffly.
He was there.
You couldn't quite believe what you were seeing. With only a lamppost nearby to illuminate your surroundings, his face was glowing. There was obvious resentment in his face but you could tell he was not as pissed as the last time you'd seen him. He gradually approached you while you remained hard as stone, unable to move. It was a miracle you were even breathing, in all honesty.
"I guess I still help you in the end," he began, avoiding your gaze.
"I thought you wouldn't come," you said with relief and he sadly laughed.
"You could call this a payback from when you arrived an hour late."
You felt even more relieved he was feeling comfortable enough to still joke a bit. However, you couldn't take his presence for granted. There must have been a reason for him to show up despite the hurt you'd done.
"Can I sit with you?" he gestured towards the swings and you nodded.
"I don't know where to start," you nervously chuckled. "I guess I can start with apologizing."
"That'd be a good start."
You cleared your throat, feeling a tad uneasy with how bizarre the tension was. "I'm sorry for not being truthful. I wasn't honest with a lot of things, including my feelings for you."
He frowned as it clearly quirked his attention. "What didn't you tell me?"
Even if his voice was shaky, it still held so much softness, as to not put pressure on you. If this was his goal, it worked. There was no turning back now.
"I don't have the proper words to put it out easily but I'll try my best. Remember how I've told you I was watching TV when the shift happened?"
His breath hitched. "What about it?"
"It might have been a film about you."
He didn't panic or get mad. In fact, it was quite opposite. He looked relieved and happy. You searched in his face any sign of anger but there was none, which left you more confused.
"Jisung?"
He let out a breathy laugh. "I kind of figured it out, I was just wondering if I was going crazy with this theory or not."
"What- Since when?"
"I'm not sure. It's like I've always known. Same as when you told me you were from another dimension, it just made sense for some reason."
You huffed. "How come are you so chill with it?"
He looked at you as if you had asked the dumbest question. "I might be fictional where you are but, here, I'm pretty fucking real. If I'm not, then I can't explain how I have all of these complicated thoughts and emotions when it comes to you."
You could feel yourself swoon at his words. "I don't want to leave suddenly," you confessed but he shook his head.
He stood up and stopped in front of you to take yours hands and get you up as well. Face to face, you could feel him exhale on your forehead. It felt nice to have his body close to yours again, like you had longed for it without knowing.
"You know you have to go."
You finally looked up at him. "No, I can stay. I get along just fine with Mina and the amnesia lie seems to be convincing everyone."
"Y/N, you already struggled with lying to me. How can you handle putting a façade up for the rest of your life?"
You wanted to scream at him, tell him how wrong he was. Accuse him of how low he thought of you by saying this. The truth was he was right. You knew deep down your place was not here. But just one thing was stopping you.
"But I love you," you mumbled as tears began to fall on your cheeks.
Jisung was surprisingly very sereine and he wiped your tears away with his thumbs. "There, you said it," he grinned victoriously.
You shoved him slightly. "Shut up."
He laughed again and damn was he pretty when he laughed. "That's all I wanted to hear, that you loved me too."
"If you love me, why should you let me go?"
He sighed as he rubbed your cheeks gently. He wasn't going to answer, you both knew it wasn't necessary. Nonetheless, it didn't mean it didn't hurt at all. It stabbed you like a knife. You had gotten so used to being around him. How were you going to deal in a world where he didn't exist?
"Can I kiss you?" he whispered even if his mouth had already had the time to get closer to yours.
It was all you needed to kiss him yourself, standing on your tippy toes to reach his level. It was just like you remembered it; sweet, tender, passionate. It was so addicting, you didn't want to imagine how breaking it would feel like. His hands let go of you to move on your hips before he pulled you even closer.
He didn't want to let go either.
You didn't notice he was crying as well until you reached your hand up to cup his cheek. It pained you more and more, and how you still were kissing him despite getting out of breath was a proof of it.
You both pull away eventually, even if it was clear as day both of you didn't want to. Jisung kept his forehead against yours and, without speaking a word, his gaze dove in yours. He wanted to remember your eyes, get one last good look at it. Because he knew what was already occurring right before his eyes.
"I'm leaving already, aren't I?" you cried out, as if you had read his mind.
"There's an eclipse, and I kissed you."
You nodded slowly and scanned your body. "It's a strange feeling."
He watched you slowly fading away and his heart clenched. "Think of me, please," he almost begged.
"Always," you smiled weakly. "I love you."
"I lo-"
And then nothing.
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A loud music woke you up. Your eyes shot wide open as you gasped for air. Taking a look around you, you stood from the ground. Everything was exactly where it had been. The first thing you went to look for was your sweet rabbit. Her nose peeking from under the couch, she wasn't hard to miss.
"Hey, baby," you cooed as you picked her up. "For you, it's been a second, but I haven't seen your cute face in months!"
You carefully placed her back in her playpen. Once she was safe and sound, you finally allowed yourself to look at the screen. It was Jisung, having a blast at Soohee's party. You forced yourself to smile as you watched him hold tight onto a girl. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't finish this movie. Not any time soon, at least. Grabbing your remote, your turned the screen off and crashed on your couch.
It had been a while since you felt yourself relax. Still, the headache you had made you question if what you had experienced was a dream or not. You did wake up because of the music coming from the television. That meant it was very possible this was only a dream.
Either way, it was over now. You had gone back to your life and now you needed to call your workplace to inform them you would be coming in tomorrow in the end.
And tomorrow came as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary; work, eating, more work, and then back home again. It felt rather underwhelming after your journey with Jisung. Somehow, you couldn't get him out of your head, not even for a second to work correctly.
You were very much distracted. Too distracted. Frustrated, you let go of the soup you were slurping and walked to your room. Sitting down at your desk, you opened your laptop and began to look up Jisung's name. You hadn't even noted down the title of the movie, his name alone should do the job.
The moment you clicked on "enter", articles and websites flooded like a river. All of them about Han Jisung. It was him for real, with his actual name next to tons of pictures. So he wasn't fictional after all. Then, who the hell was he?
You scrolled down to find a recent article which mentioned the movie itself. Opening the link, you read it all so quickly. It said Jisung was, indeed, a young artist who had the chance to collaborate with many renowned producers to make a film about his struggles. His main purpose was to reach an audience who could relate to his pain and learn to get through struggles like he did.
You weren't sure what this was referring to since you technically didn't watch the film entirely. What caught your attention, however, was the final paragraph.
The singer has begun his promotion tour where he holds conferences concerning mental health in younger generations. He hopes to spread awareness as much as he can. To see him, his next seminar is to be held in Seoul the Thursday of next week.
You checked the date this article was published and thanked the universe that it was no older than a week. That meant the conference was tonight. You didn't know if it was a good idea but you still had so many questions about everything, you felt like getting the chance to speak to him might answer a few of them.
"Looks like I'll be spending $40 tonight," you groaned to yourself before opening the sign-up page to the event.
You were lucky it wasn't starting too early and that you still had two hours before it began. It was enough time for you to wash up, get changed and hop onto a bus that transported you all the way to the other side of the city.
One would call you crazy for going all the way in for this boy who probably had no idea you existed. But the memory of him was too fresh, it bothered you. You thought it'd help you to see him in person. That was not exactly how it went.
As the crowd settled comfortably on their seats, the host greeted the audience warmly. Needless to say, you were taken aback to see the man you grew to know as Chan on stage. This was surely the actor who played him.
"Hello, everyone," he waved with a bright smile. "My name is Bang Chan and I will be your presenter tonight."
Okay, this was getting weirder and weirder. First Jisung was a real person, but Chan as well?
"As you may know, I have contributed with the production of the movie Alien: I'm so lonely. The mastermind behind this work is my dear friend, Han Jisung. But you knew that, that's why you're here. I ask of you to be patient as him and I will discuss his journey on this project. Afterwards, you may ask your questions and Jisung with happily answer them. Please, welcome Han Jisung!"
The crowd applauded as he came on stage. He looked tinier and intimidated on this big stage in front of so many people. You were starting to question yourself if this was the same man you had in mind. But as soon as he flashed his smile, your heart skipped a beat. This was him. And visibly, these feelings were as strong as they were back in the movie's world.
"I'd like to think you all came here after enjoying my movie so I'd like to start with thanking you all for your support. It means a lot," he smiled before bowing.
The two men sat down and Chan was the one to initiate the discussion. "I had the pleasure to be part of your project but there are things that are still a mystery. The entire film is based on your own experience whether it is the loss of your mother, your struggle to make a name for yourself in the music industry as well as the mental struggles you had to face. However, there is one aspect that was never part of your actual life and it is the character of Y/N."
Your body stiffened. Had you heard him right? This had to be yet another disturbing coincidence, it wouldn't be logical otherwise. The real Jisung didn't know you.
"We're getting right away into your favourite part today, aren't we?" he chuckled uncomfortably. "I had a dream long ago. It consisted of my usual day-to-day life but this girl appeared out of nowhere. We went through everything together the way we did in the movie. It was only a dream but I woke up feeling empty. She wasn't real but she was present for me more than anyone."
"Are you saying you felt more connected to an imaginary friend than to your close ones?"
"Of course not," he scoffed. "I came around the idea she was a fragment of myself that represented my strength. I'd like to think she really existed, but I can't drive myself crazy over that."
The rest of their discussion was nothing but a distant sound to you. Plenty of possibilities about what occurred were now open and, quite frankly, it was giving you a headache. You had never met Jisung in this world, but maybe his other self was still a part of him. That, or you visited his dream and not the movie.
The two men discussed some more details for another hour. After what felt like an eternity, the question period finally arrived. You had forgotten all pre-prepared interrogations you had by then. Despite that, you were determined to, at least, speak to him once. Nervously, you raised your hand while he was already responding to someone.
"So yeah, I'd say my mother was the main reason why I wanted to make this film," he concluded his answer with a nod.
Chan looked among the audience and it was almost like he recognized you. With a knowing grin, he pointed at you. "Miss with the red shirt."
The crew member walked to you to give you a microphone and it abruptly hit you how unprepared you were for this. You gulped as you shakingly brought the mic closer to your mouth.
"I had a question concerning this Y/N character."
Jisung, on his side, looked a mess the instant he heard your voice. He went closer to your side of the stage while squinting in order to take a better look at who was talking. He would recognize that voice anywhere.
"Go ahead," he finally said.
"When you said she appeared out of nowhere in your dream, what did you mean by that?"
And once and for all, he got a good glimpse of you. The actress who played you looked nothing like you. She was no match compared with your soft features. That was why she was the only character he struggled to cast — besides the fact half of the cast was his actual friends playing themselves.
"I-" he pondered for a moment. "You know what? Can you come see me after the conference? I feel like this is not something I can answer in the span of two minutes."
Surprised, you didn't let it show and nodded as you sat back down. What were the odds for him to want to talk to you one on one? Like he had requested to, you remained seated when Chan dismissed the audience.
It wasn't long after that a security member came to fetch you. He guided you all the way to a room backstage. Only from afar, you saw Jisung talk with Chan. He looked disturbed and worried. You started to think it wasn't a good timing to interrupt him. However, before you could have a say in it, the security guy pushed you inside and closed the door.
You looked at anywhere but them, rocking your body back and forth to hide the nervousness. There was a long silence before Chan sighed in a discouraged way. Without saying a thing, he walked past you and left the room.
It was only you and him.
"Is your name Y/N by any chance?" Jisung broke the ice making you look at him. His eyes were filled with hope.
"It is," you confirmed and his body immediately relaxed.
"I don't want to sound too creepy or whatever but..." he hesitated a little as he bit his upper lip. "I feel like I've seen you before."
Your breath cut short. He remembered.
"I might have a similar feeling towards you."
This made his unsure expression break into a smile, which then made you smile. It was like meeting a friend you hadn't seen in years, except you saw this same guy only hours ago. Heck, you were kissing him.
"Do you have time to go out for dinner with me?"
His question might have made you happier than you were supposed to be but you didn't care one bit, and it didn't look like he did either. After you shyly nodded a yes, he walked your way and drowned you in a hug. You didn't fight back.
"I think I forgot to tell you something," he mumbled softly against your ear.
"What is it?" you responded in the same tone.
"You left before I could finish; I love you."
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daisyvisions · 7 months
Text
✦ Day 31 - C*ckwarming
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‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: Vampire!Juyeon x afab!reader
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 1.1K
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), established relationship, porn with little plot tbh, cockwarming, begging, blood sucking and biting (he’s a vampire duh!), strength kink (if you squint), pet names (babe, sweetheart, slut, good girl)
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: Naturally, I wanted to write some background to the story before getting to the nasty bits, but then I realized with this scenario? Let’s just skip to the smut shall we? 🥴 Proofread once!
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet
✦ Kinktober Masterlist ✦
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"Just a little more, babe. We're almost done,"
"J-juyeon, I can't," you whine as you squirm on his lap.
"Didn't you say you'd help keep me warm?"
"Yeah, but not like this!" you exclaim.
It started off as a joke, to be honest. As you were cuddling with your boyfriend on the sofa, you could feel the low temperature of his skin through your clothes. Even if you’ve been together for almost two years now, there are just some things you find yourself not getting used to.
You prop yourself up to ask him if he missed the warmth of his body while he was alive. He did, but as time went on, Juyeon had learned how to get used to the changes of his body. To him, these were just little things he had to deal with being a vampire.
You straddle his lap, asking him how you could help him get warm, especially with the autumn air slowly becoming colder as the days went by. The cogs in his brain turn as he looks up at you and smiles mischievously.
"I think I have an idea..."
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Juyeon sighs deeply, satisfied with the relaxing feeling of his cock engulfed by the warmth of your walls. He nestles his face at the crook of your neck, rubbing circles at your waist as he enjoys the moment.
You gasp at the feeling of his kisses on your neck, the slight brush of his fangs on your sensitive skin as he opens his mouth. He inhales your skin, the smell of your warm blood coursing through your veins beneath enough to make his eyes roll back.
"You smell so sweet," he mumbles.
"Please touch me," you whimper, desperate for him to move inside you.
He pulls his head back as he gets a better look at your blushing face and slowly drinks up your gorgeous body.
"God, just look at you... I could just devour you right now." Juyeon's eyes slowly scan every curve and softness of your skin.
You squirm in place once again as your walls clench on his length. The way he uses his words like that is enough to get you even more hot and bothered.
You feel so full of him, the head of his cock practically kissing the sweet gummy spot inside you, begging to be nudged. If it’s one thing you’re grateful about having a vampire for a boyfriend is his gifted size.
You attempt to roll your hips in the hopes of getting at least a bit of a drag of his length in and out of you. But Juyeon presses the dips of your hips down, locking you in place with his inhuman strength.
"Now, now, I thought you were a good girl. Can't you just stay still?" he mocks you.
"W-wanna move, Juyeon, please," you gasp, feeling his cock twitch inside. "-need to feel you..."
"But you are already feeling me, babe-"
"No! I want- I want-" you whine. You attempt to roll your hips once more, but Juyeon's grip on your hips tightens as he leans forward to lick the side of your neck.
"Wa-want what?" he copies your stutter. "Wanna fuck my cock, is that it?" You nod your head vigorously.
"Such a fucking slut. You want it so bad? Then beg for it..." He slightly shifts in place, making the tip of his member nudge the spot inside you. You whimper at even the slightest movement inside.
"Please let me ride your cock! I'll- I'll be good, I promise. Please!" Your voice sounding like you might cry at any moment.
"Y-you can bite me too, promise! Please, I wanna move!" You add in.
Juyeon firmly grips your cheeks together, the pupils in his eyes blown out and almost black the moment you say those words together.
"What did you just say?" He asks slowly.
"Bite me- you can bite me," you repeat yourself, your desperate eyes looking back at his. And he could tell you’re not joking around.
"You don't know what you're asking for, sweetheart." His voice warns you as his tone goes an octave lower.
"Please, I can take it, I swear! I'll be a good girl-" He hisses as your walls tightening. The thought of Juyeon piercing his fangs into your skin as you bounce on his cock riles you up even more.
"You sure about this? Because once I give in, I don't know when I'll be able to stop..." He asks you one more time.
Truth be told, he's always wanted to know what you tasted like but never pushed you to try it. Especially when you’d accidentally cut your finger, or when you’d have your time of the month, and so on.
But now that you're offering it to him...
"Yes, I'm sure. Now please let me move!" You whine out desperately this time.
"Fine, but if it gets too much, feel free to slap me in the face, got it?" You nod at him.
He lets go of your hips, indicating you to move as you please. You lunge forward, pressing his back onto the sofa as you start rolling your hips at a fast pace.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," you moan out, finally relieving the ache inside you.
Juyeon leans his face towards your neck, the smell of your blood becoming sweeter as he deeply inhales before plunging his fangs into your sensitive skin.
"Oh fuck!" You moan out loud, both from the stinging pain of his bite and from the toxin of his fangs slowly entering your body. A sudden wave of pleasure and euphoria hits you all at once.
You could hear Juyeon groaning at the taste of your sweet blood, the lust enough for him to thrust himself into you at an ungodly pace as he embraces you by the waist.
From all the intimate times shared with one another, you both have never felt this feeling before. A feeling none of you could even describe at this point.
You both enter a state of ecstasy, not even realizing that you're both reaching your highs at the same time sooner than expected until you hear the sound of your arousal echoing in the room. The smell of sex slowly infiltrating your noses.
As soon as you both come down from your highs you both pull away, chests heaving and eyes examining one another.
You catch Juyeon by surprise as you lean forward to kiss his lips, knowing your blood is still on them, your face lighting up with a post-sex and excited glow,
"We need to do that again..."
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dearharriet · 2 months
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About Time | Chapter 1
james potter x reader time travel au | 3k words | contents
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00:00 — 1 JANUARY
James waited until he’d fallen into his childhood home, half-plastered and sad and staring himself in the eyes through his bathroom mirror. His gaze seemed colder, lonelier than usual, and when he splashed his face with cool water it chilled him to the bone.
He’d never been unsettled by solitude, never minded much retreating to an empty bed at the end of a long day. Until then.
That’s when he knew he had to go back.
+
“Pardon me.”
The voice from behind you was so sudden and deep that you jumped, whipping around clumsily to meet it.
“God, you startled me!”
Laying eyes on the man responsible, you instantly released any ill-will you had.
“Hi, sorry,” he said, and you were already quite smitten.
He was young, though surely not any younger than you. Handsome too, in a dismantling way, like he might take you apart if you were an old clock, just to see what made you tick.
And if he wasn’t young and handsome, he’d still gain a little credit just in looking so guilty for spooking you.
“Hi.”
This was January, and you were out on the veranda, so your breath escaped you visibly. You were aware of it trickling upward as the handsome man smiled shyly and introduced himself.
“I’m James.”
Leaning up against a white banister, you snuggled further into your shawl, watching him. He was a few steps above you, and taller by a lot anyways, so it posed a bit of a strain.
“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Lovely name,” James commented, not missing a beat. It surprised you, but you rallied easily.
“And yours.” You sipped your drink, and when he hadn’t formed a response, decided to elaborate. “Classic.”
James ducked his head in a dashing sort of way, adding a little humility to the lethal mix of attractive traits he contained.
“Yeah, but don’t let it take any precedence. It's strangeness across the board for the rest of me.”
Your lips curled up at the corners.
“For some reason I think that’s true,” you teased, eyes shining with mirth.
There were lots of ways to be flirted with, several of which left a bad taste in your mouth and a loneliness that felt unquenchable in your chest, but this you liked.
James spoke like he was on his toes, constantly steeped in anticipation. If possible, he seemed to savor every moment while simultaneously rushing into better, deeper territory.
He came further down the steps then, and you appreciated the relief on your neck. The smell that drifted off of him was like honey and biscuits, perpetually warm on your senses, even in late winter.
“So how do you know Marlene,” James asked, and you felt the tightness of excitement in your chest realizing that he was going to stay and talk to you.
“Work,” you told him, “she’s a madwoman. Flirts with all the customers.”
James kept a polite distance from you, gravitating toward a patch of light from the windows. He wore a tailored suit that was primarily night blue, which somehow fit him with both strict lines and a charming rumpled messiness.
You wondered if he’d get any easier to look at.
“That sounds like Marly,” James agreed, looking fond. A tiny needle of jealousy pricked you, which was ridiculous, because if this were Marlene’s boyfriend she’d have been shouting it from the rooftops.
Clinging to that affirmation, you asked, “you two are familiar?”
Each of James’ hands held the opposite bicep in a half-hearted cross, aiding a small shrug.
“We went to school together.”
You nodded, growing envious for new reasons.
“That seems to be the theme around here. I’m sad I missed it.”
James smiled warmly, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Would it make you feel better if I told you it was boarding school? We had to share dorms all year.”
Fiddling with a ring on your finger, your gaze skipped to the square orange portal that led to the party inside. The window was one on the back wall of the parlor, and it became devastatingly easy to pick out the school club from the others inside. Marlene lounged beside other sharp girls and well-dressed guys, all of them laughing and bickering like siblings. You craved to be at the heart of it more than anything.
“Co-Ed?” you asked abruptly, tearing away from the vibrant crowd to see James’ face contort.
“No,” he laughed. “I roomed with Sirius, Remus and Frank.”
Your jaw dropped.
“Four to a room?”
James’ laugh thickened, his spectacles glinting white as his head tossed back. His amusement was acerbic, corrupting your bewilderment until it was lost to a goofy smile.
“I do feel much better, thank you,” you said. “Private school sounds awful.”
“Well, don’t rub it in, now,” he chided lightly.
An army of wind marched around the corner of the estate then, fighting through your thin shawl. James’ eyes traced your shivering frame as he stepped ever closer.
“Erm, hey, I was wondering—”
The patio door opened, delicate glass inlaid with iron, and yet your moment with James seemed the thing to shatter. A fair-skinned man stepped out, a hunt in his eyes, and you hoped whatever it was for wasn’t James.
Nyx-dark hair moved like shadows over the night sky, reflecting the party inside glossily. His head turned, and then he was laying eyes on your companion.
“James!” The man said, his poised effect splitting down the middle, revealing a collie’s energy. He motioned for James to meet him up on the landing. “C’mon mate, Remus has a plan.”
James shook his head simply.
“Do it without me, yeah?”
Something territorial swept over James’ friend’s face, and he suddenly looked you over. You were embarrassed to only warrant a millisecond of his attention.
“Bollucks,” he declared, challenging James to disagree. “Let’s go.”
Then he returned swiftly inside, leaving both French doors and your chest swung open. James sighed, the weight of a lost battle on his shoulders, and found your eyes again.
“Sorry, that’s Sirius,” he explained, and you supposed that would make sense.
“The roommate,” you provided. James nodded.
“I swear he’s nicer.”
You wouldn’t say you found him rude, just unfriendly. He certainly seemed warm, as did everyone at the party, but to a select few people. A select few that didn’t include you.
You said, “I’m sure.” If James thought someone was nice, they probably were. He seemed a good judge of character. Unless you had very poorly judged his character, which you wouldn’t put past yourself.
James winced. “I have to go. But, um—”
“James, mate, come on,” Sirius called from inside, and then he and another, taller man poked their heads out to check his progress in detaching himself from you.
“Alright, one second!”
You’re not sure why you said it, perhaps the people pleaser overriding your system, but you said, “it’s alright, James. You can go.”
It didn’t make him look any less torn. His head whipped back and forth between you and his friends, trying to find a solution.
Of course you wanted him to stay, but you didn’t want to hold him hostage, so you tried your best to look supportive of whatever he chose.
In the end, he stepped close to you, brows pinched with regret.
“I won’t be long. Will you—would you stay?”
You pressed your lips together in a tight smile, choking back the clawing barrage of disappointment.
“‘Course,” you said.
James blew out a breath, relaxing his tense posture.
“I really swear it. Back before you can say ‘private school,’ yeah?”
You laughed weakly, taking a long look at him for memory.
“Yeah.”
Reluctantly, James backed away from you, then turned to climb the steps toward his friends. They were sagged with impatience, hanging onto his every step the same way you were, except for different reasons. In a way, you were more jealous of these two than you were of Marlene, because they were like James’ brothers. They knew him better than probably anyone, you guessed.
James hopped up onto the landing and glanced back to you, frowning slightly. The light from inside caught his lenses just so, hiding his eyes from you, and that small detail alone felt like the end of all things.
Then, Sirius and his accomplice took each of James’ arms and hauled him inside, shutting the doors behind them.
Shivering again, you watched the three of them appear in the window, heads bowed together in conspiracy. James looked different there, like something out of a movie. He snapped right into place with the rest of them, glittering and masterfully made.
It was clear he had a world of his own—one that you would likely never penetrate, no matter how badly you wanted for it, no matter how long you waited in the cold.
Marlene would forgive you for running off, but you’d never forgive yourself if you got sick for a silly dream, so you left the party and made peace with the what-if that was James.
+
James fell headfirst out of the cramped coat closet, cursing as his legs tangoed and lost to a tall pair of rain boots. In his fall, he took down with him three raincoats and a hanging organizer (six hats, a bucket of gloves, and five and half pairs of sandals).
He was already tired and fuming when he entered the closet, and now he felt he’d completely lose it any second. Disengaging from his fight with evil clothing, he scooched on his bum to the scrunched up hall runner that paved the Mckinnon’s entry.
Near the end of it someone cleared their throat, and James looked up to see Fabian and Gideon Prewett, the nosiest blokes in the world. Fantastic.
“Look who we have here,” said one twin, the other smiling wickedly, ready to pick up the second half of their routine snooping.
“Off for a snog-sesh with someone, are we, James?”
Battling to his feet, James let out a long-suffering sigh, already moving their way.
“Yeah, your mum,” he snarked.
As they both laughed, James prepared to push between them, but they parted before he had to. He walked through their flank, relieved yet nervous—the typical reaction those two elicited.
Leaving them behind, the narrow hall forked off into several different rooms, offices and kitchens and a library. James played here even before he was in school with Marlene, so he knew every corner like it was his own home. He headed for the parlor.
Even for someone who had never been in the house, finding James’ destination would be easy. All they had to do was follow the music.
In the parlor, chaise lounges were hardly visible under old school friends and their families, the walls lined with business partners and gossiping aunts. Smaller children ran amok, like birds weaving between a forest of mingling adults. The hearthfire hissed and spat, bound to take down at least one fashionably dressed lady before the year was over.
James swept his gaze over the bobbing heads and flying hands, looking for someone in particular. Sirius’ thick black hair beat like a raven's wing near the back of the room, so that’s where the bespectacled boy went.
On his path, Remus stood glued to a wall, looking very antisocial. He pinged from one crutch to another, taking up new residence at James’ side.
“Where’d you run off to?”
“Had to take a piss,” James said casually. He’d grown accustomed to small lies like that, since no one knew about his little habit.
Remus didn’t question it, just picked through the crowd to where Sirius was.
“Padfoot,” James called, and he didn’t have to say anything else. Sirius excused himself and met the two of them without question, a silent understanding that forged the undercurrent of their friendship.
James led them all into another hall, one closer to the crystalline patio doors.
“I heard,” James started, “that Marlene has a pot stash somewhere ‘round here.”
Sirius and Remus glanced at each other, and James knew he had them. Even if they came up dry, the two of them would snoop just to snoop, and Remus obviously wanted away from the party anyways.
“Whereabouts do you think it is,” Sirius asked, looking at a mounted painting like it might be involved.
“Dunno,” James said, “but if we split up I bet we’d find it before the new year.”
Sirius grinned, and it spread onto Remus’ lips.
“I can take downstairs, and you and Pads can go up,” Remus said.
James shook his head.
“No, you two can go.” The two of them gave James skeptical looks, but he shrugged. “I have heavy footsteps, they’d hear me up there.”
Sirius’ expression cleared, and then he was nodding along. “Right.” He took Remus’ arm in his grasp and pulled him along. “Let’s go, Moony. I bet we can find some before Prongs.”
James heard Remus object that, “it’s only in one place,” before their conversation was lost by distance. Then, he turned around and pushed through the back doors, praying you were where he left you.
You were. Just like last time, your back was turned to him. You were staring at the clear sky, gripping your wrap close to your chest. James remembered that he’d startled you before, so he latched the doors as noisily as possible. You still didn’t come around.
He supposed that was for the best, actually, since he’d changed something already. He crept down the steps, feeling terrible for sneaking up on you, and wondering what you might’ve been thinking about that kept you so distracted.
“Pardon me,” James begged, and you spun around in shock.
“God, you startled me!”
James smiled, and your eyes trailed all over him. He couldn’t say he minded, since he was doing the same.
You reminded him of a mouse—shy but necessarily bold, holding yourself up outstandingly well as a stranger in a roomful of friends. That was, until you dipped outside and didn’t return.
“Sorry, hi,” he apologized, really meaning it this time. As expected, you smiled shyly, golden champagne tilting in the glass you held.
“Hi.”
A swath of mist escaped your mouth with the exhaled greeting. James had to remind himself that you didn’t remember the first time this happened, so you wouldn’t know his name.
“I’m James.”
You leant back, neck craning to keep his eyes. James stepped down to accommodate you, and your brows smoothed.
“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”
“That’s a pretty name,” James said, getting bolder. It was hard to hold himself away from you.
You dropped your head then, smiling primly at the stone steps.
“Thank you,” you said, instead of complimenting James in return.
James blinked. What happened?
“Yours—”
“I’m—”
James paused as you both spoke at the same time, looking at you the way someone might look at a tricky puzzle.
“Sorr—”
“You can—oh.”
Fingers pressed to your mouth, you looked at James, a tentative smile in your eyes. James sighed, and then laughed strangely. He motioned for you to go ahead, only to find your hand unfolding into the same gesture. Both of you stared at each other for a beat before falling into a fit of giggles.
“You go,” James said finally, smiling. You just shook your head.
“I don’t even remember.”
James squinted at your rosy cheeks, his lips picking up at the corners. You could lead a horse to water, he supposed.
The temptation to learn more about you began to win him over, so he bent a few rules.
“So you work with Marlene, I hear,” he spoke, fibbing ever so slightly.
You smiled a bit, none the wiser. “I do, yeah.”
James looked inside, checking for dark hair or an itchy sweater, but Remus and Sirius were still missing. Good.
“What’s that like?”
Brows furrowing, you followed his gaze.
“It’s…interesting. She’s really nice, but she—”
“Flirts with all the customers?” James supplied, peeking at you out of the corner of his eye.
You stared at him for a tick. “Yeah. You must know her?”
“Childhood friends,” James decided, nodding. When he turned back to you, you were raking your eyes over his dressy outfit, lip caught between your teeth. Your eyes found his, and you looked away. James thought he saw a flush to your cheeks.
The wind whipped around the corner then, and James began shouldering his thick jacket off, finally doing what he’d wanted to do before.
“You must be crazy,” he said, coming closer. “It’s freezing out here.”
You braved a look at him, and alarm sunk into your features.
“No, James, you don’t have to do that. I’m fine.”
“Don’t be polite, lovely, you’re shivering. Here.”
James slowly held his coat over your shoulders, leaning back to watch you carefully. He saw the moment you accepted his offer, sinking back into the warmth the garment still held.
“Thank you,” you breathed as James pulled away. He shoved his cold hands into his pockets, now looking to conserve heat.
“‘Course.”
Though his hands weren’t on you anymore, James stayed just as close as he was moments ago. He could smell the champagne in your glass. He glanced around to the garden, to your feet on the step, just below his.
“D’you want to head inside?” he asked. “It’s almost midnight, I think.”
Your lips turned up, and James hoped to God he’d get to kiss them.
“That sounds lovely.”
+
James flipped his phone open, the small screen giving off just enough light in his dark room to make him squint. He was wondering what you’d put for your contact—a smiley face, maybe, or a heart? He hoped you put a heart. It took his brain far too long to catch up to reality.
With a shock of gut-twisting dread, James realized he’d been so wound up over kissing you that he forgot to ask for your phone number. Your phone number.
He groaned, glancing at his bed longingly, but he knew he wouldn’t fall into it very soon. He’d go back a hundred times before he slept that night if it got him one date with you.
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thank you for reading! xx | masterlist
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l1vchuu · 11 months
Text
resentment. part four
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!! warnings: mentions of sh and suicide, strong language, may contain triggering themes and blood, angst, and slow burn, P.S. This chapter might have a lot of time skips, so be wary.
A few days went as you were gone, and you weren't the only one who felt the changes.
It was a Monday afternoon as you sat at your kitchen table, reading a book you randomly had picked off your old shelf- "Norwegian Wood" by Haruki Murakami. You bought this book after watching the film that just got released in the theaters, hoping that you would read it someday and feel the same emotions you did when you sat in front of the big screen. After some unfortunate events that occurred in your life at that time- you never really got to read it.
The soft yellow tint of the light from the cheap lightbulbs filled your small kitchen, going through your hair, and making a slight shadow on your face. The tea you had made for yourself earlier was getting colder as the minutes passed by, and you couldn't feel more peaceful.
So far, you tried taking things slow- since you had a whole month to figure things out. You've put out the thought of seeing a therapist later, your mind was still blurry. Currently, you were trying to calm your mind by reading and watching movies.
A few hours later, you put down the book and decided to take a shower. As you entered the cabin and turned on the shower, the sudden warmth of the water took all your thoughts with it.
You recently bought some new showering essentials- new shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, and a few other things. Maybe if you tried to take better care of your hygiene you could feel prettier, or at least have some type of order in your life that you follow.
The sweet honey scent filled the atmosphere as you washed your hair, slight steam flowing in the air, getting captured in your lungs with every breath you took. Your mind was roaming through your memories, mostly the good ones. You remembered the first time you discovered Wes Anderson.
A few years ago...
You sighed as you scrolled through your Letterboxd watchlist, the titles moving faster than the thoughts in your head.
"'Detachment', 'Lost in Translation', 'Vertigo'..."
You mumbled to yourself as you kept scrolling, looking for something to watch. Then your eyes stopped at a yellowish poster, excluding itself from the others.
"Fantastic Mr. Fox"
You had heard of that movie before, all positive things. You stared at the trailer for a while
"Who even watches trailers for movies that have been out for years?"
You thought to yourself as you kept looking, but you were mesmerized. You hadn't seen anything else like this. It was so quirky and sweet and bitter that you wanted to watch it badly. You found the movie, and just as you were about to put it on, Simon opened the door.
He entered the room, looking at you with his brown, empty eyes.
"How was the shift?"
You tried to spark up a conversation, but it ended nowhere.
"Fine."
He sat on his bed, still with his mask on. You know he took it off when he slept, but you had never seen his face. It's like he knew the moment you woke up and fall asleep just so he can put his mask back on and act like nothing had happened.
"You gonna' sleep?"
You asked him, your eyes looking up from the monitor of your laptop.
"Not now, why you ask?"
"I was going to watch a movie, that's why."
You could somehow see his eyebrows rise underneath his mask. It was the first time he heard those words from a Sergeant. People usually never had time to do anything really, being tired from long work shifts and all.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It just... It's the first time I've heard that sentence here."
"What? You don't watch movies?"
"No- It's not that. People don't find the time for things like these."
"Well, I do. Does it bother you?"
"As long as it's not too loud, no."
"Good."
You sat back on the couch as you hit space and the movie began.
Half an hour later, you were so invested in the movie that you didn't notice the presence of your roommate next to you... until he coughed, causing you to flinch, and because of your reflexes, your hand went into a defensive position. He looked at you, his eyes slightly wider.
"Oh, sorry."
"I think... I think I saw Jesus."
He chuckled, showing the slightest bit of emotion he ever has.
"It's just me."
"You really live up to your name, huh? Sneaking in like that."
"I didn't do anything, it's the movie's fault for having you so fuckin invested."
"Yeah, sure."
-
It might not seem like the brightest memory ever, but that was the first time you had such a close interaction with Ghost ever since you got moved into a room with him. That moment felt like a slight push into a whole other universe. A universe where you felt less scared to talk to him, a universe where he got to be the closest person to you.
The whole story began when you joined the British Army at 17 years old after a really bad banter between your dad and your brother, resulting in your brother's suicide. At his funeral, you could barely hold yourself up and alive- it had shattered you completely. You couldn't help yourself to eat, your mother had to force-feed you just like she did when you were a baby. Your body was aching with every step you took, every time your jeans brushed against your thighs, making your fresh scars bleed again from the friction. A month later, you were at your lowest point in life- you didn't go to school, and your mother ignored every call from the principal because she didn't know what to say. Everyone at your house was so lost, your father refused to go out of his room, leaving the house in the process, your mother barely slept at night, and you had ruined yourself. At this point, everything was a lost cause.
One morning, as you barely walked towards the front door, placing the rubbish bag in its' place, you saw the leaflets from the military scouts that live in your area. Usually, you would throw them in the rubbish bin and continue on with the day, but this time something was off. Your brother wanted to enlist in the military so much, he even started going to the shooting ranges outside the city to train his aim. You could feel your cheeks getting wet as you stared at the papers in your hands- he would've served his country and fulfilled his dreams in a year.
With slow and steady steps you went to his door, opening it slowly. His room was always cluttered, as he never got the time to clean it- always so busy with his voluntary work and training. There was a big flag hung on his wall, frames with pictures of him in his boy scouts uniform, pictures with him and his friends at a red cross event, and posters of his favorite movies and superheroes, he was such a bright and generous kid. There were stacks of military scouting leaflets piled on his desk, catching more and more dust as the days go by.
You sat on his bed, holding a picture of him with a German Shepherd 'Scouty' - a military dog that was pretty famous in your city and had saved multiple lives. You remembered taking that picture, him getting so excited when they allowed him to pet the dog, his eyes lighting up when they said that we could take a picture with him, his big smile, showing his braces as the dog stood still. Everything seemed so wonderful, life was so full and bright.
The tears began rolling down your cheek as your fingers traced his face, the room still smelled like him, somehow. You felt a pair of fragile hands holding your body close to them. You looked up with your red and teary eyes at the figure- it was your mother. You two sat in silence, crying quietly as you held each other. She noticed the leaflet in your hand.
"When does the recruiting start?"
Your mother asked you, her voice quiet and shaky as she looked at the paper.
You wiped your cheeks as you checked the dates on the leaflet- it was slightly damp and crumpled.
"The applications can be sent in a month from now."
You said, your voice cracking as your hands shook slightly.
"Mhm."
Your mum responded as she gently pat your head, her fingers brushing through your hair.
You stared at the paper in your hands.
"Will you leave Dad?"
You asked.
"I can't, you are still here."
She replies.
"What if I leave for university? Will you leave him?"
"Yeah, I suppose so."
But you still had two years left, and with your absence, you were sure no university or college will accept you. You thought about it- if you were to return to school, people would ask you questions back and forth, and you couldn't deal with that. You knew your mother was suffering more than you, I mean, losing a child can be amusingly painful for a mother. And the last thing you wanted to do is to make your mother suffer even more, but continuing to live with your father after all that had happened was doing that same exact thing.
You thought about this the whole day. Holding that same leaflet, making all the research, asking people about it- and then you made your decision. You were going to join the Army.
Sure, you may have absolutely no experience, unlike your brother, but that's what he would've wanted. You were doing this for him and your mother.
You walked back and forth in your room, wandering in your documents and checking in your strengths. You knew a little about artillery from your brother's trainer and all of his lessons. You had a month in order to prepare for it. You went to consult your mother on the decision.
"Are you sure you want this?"
"I'm sure, I just need to train a bit, but I need to know that if I go, you leave him."
She thought for a minute.
"I'll stay at your aunt's place until I save up enough money for rent and divorce."
You looked at her, your eyes full of uncertainty.
"Do you promise- No- Will you promise me to do that?"
You took a breath before continuing.
"When I leave, you leave him. You go as far away as you can. I'll lend you money if I can- Go to another country and live there if you need- Just promise me you'll leave that man, please..."
She put her arms on your shoulders, making you look at her.
"I promise you, but how do you know if you are going to get recruited?"
"I will get recruited, don't worry."
She looked at you, not being sure if you were just talking nonsense or actually meaning your words. By the look in your eyes and the sound of your tone, she knew you weren't joking.
After your mother made that promise- you got to work. You went out and trained every single day, but before that, you visited the shooting range. You knew that the trainer was a British Air Service veteran, so you asked for his help.
'You want to enlist? As in, you want to apply?"
He looked at you, a worried look on his face. It was the first time he saw you since your brother's funeral, and he saw the change in your appearance.
"Yes, and I need your help."
You said, looking up at him. You had explained everything to him, in detail, too.
"For a month..."
He silently thought to himself as he looked at you, his eyes narrowing.
"I can manage a training schedule, but I'm not sure if you could-"
"I'll do it.'
You interrupted him.
"- handle it."
He stared at you, his eyes slowly wider than before. He sighs.
"It won't be easy. Not at all. Your brother had months and years of practice, but now you have to make it up to him in a month."
You nodded your head, your eyes burning with ambition once again.\
"I'll do it. I won't give up."
"We'll change up your diet too,"
He paused, taking in the situation with your family. Your mother could barely stand up from her bed, and your father was nowhere to be found.
"I'll bring you food, you'll eat here."
You tilted your head to the side.
"Will that be okay with you?"
You asked him, a worried look on your face.
"It'll be absolutely no problem. I'll pack in food for your mother as well."
You nodded, feeling grateful for his offer.
"Thank you."
He nodded, holding his hand out for a handshake. You took his hand, giving a firm squeeze.
"I'll come pick you up tomorrow at 5:30 AM."
He searched your face for any reaction.
"As I told you, it'll be hard."
He gave you a slight smile.
"But now I believe you'll make it."
During that month, he took care of you and your mother- you trained with him all day, and he checked in with your mother in the meantime. He was a single father taking after his father's business. His son enlisted two years ago, leaving him alone in his house all year round. You became attached to him quickly, he was almost like a father to you. He helped you become the person your brother wished to be. For a month, you became a weapon, which got you in the Army, which got you in the Special Forces (SAS). That's the place where you first met Simon.
It was three years after you joined the Army- you were now 20 years old. You finally had the opportunity to apply to the SAS- which you did. After a long process of training and selection- you finally made it into the force.
When you got in, they introduced you to a couple of people, Captain Price and some other Lieutenants. As you entered the base where you would be working and living, they introduced you to one final person- your roommate- Simon Riley, or his callsign 'Ghost'.
As you finally got to call your mother, announcing the news to her, you were surprised more than usual when your trainer picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
The male voice echoed through the phone. You furrowed your eyebrows, barely recognizing it.
"Hello?"
You replied.
"It's you! How's it going, kid?"
And that's when you recognized him. You two had a long conversation- apparently, your mother had moved in with him, which got you flabbergasted. Your mother was at work when you two were talking. You announced the news to him.
"Really? You got in?!"
He said, his voice full of pride and joy.
"I knew you would make it. I'm so proud of you!"
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so proud of you
That sentence kept you up at night. It replayed in your mind non-stop, echoing through your veins with each word.
Someone was proud of you.
-
Simon looked at Soap as he ate his lunch, holding his bowl in one hand as always. It's been a week since you were gone, and by that time everyone was aware of your absence. Soap looked back at Ghost, unsure about how to approach a conversation with him after all that had happened. Your seat at the table was empty, and nobody dared to sit on it, leaving a gap between Gaz and Ghost. It was rather quiet, everyone was lost in their own mind. Some of them were surprised that you never said anything, that you didn't notify anyone. Johnny was probably the first person who decided to write to you.
"Come on, I can't do this by myself. We have to let her know that we are with her and that we miss her, right?"
Johnny states, looking at the empty piece of paper in front of him.
"So, what do we write?"
Kyle grabs the pen and begins the letter, slowly filling it up with words until the page is full. Signing at the bottom were Johnny, Kyle, and Alex. After a few hours, the letter was sent to you, arriving in your mailbox.
The morning after, your neighbor notified you that you got mail. You looked in the box, a confused look on your face as two letters appeared in your hands. One of the letters had three signatures, while the other had only one- a skull face.
.⋆。⋆☂˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆.☆.。.:
Heyy!! I'm back as promised with the fourth part. This part had a lot of time skips for which I apologize if you were confused with! Sending lots of love and see you with part five <3
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diaryujin · 1 month
Text
𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍
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summary: Sunghoon has never felt any spark in his heart, none of that silly love he’s read about in novels in his free time. No one interested him, and it wasn’t like his father, the king, would let him have friends, male or female, for fear of being betrayed or developing feelings for them. He lived a life of isolation, excited for nothing – neither the idea of being married to a pretty princess nor becoming the next ruler of the Park kingdom. He most certainly did not expect you, his new guard, to change all that. He did not expect you to brighten his days and light up his heart.
includes: death, murder, war/battle, attempted murder (kinda), breaking in, royal au, romanticized medieval setting of sorts, forced marriage/proposal, a lot of time skips so it moves somewhat quickly, brief mention of a toxic ex, death by illness, joking mention of jumping off a balcony, blood, wounds, denial of death kinda, graves, lmk if i missed anything!
genre: angst
pairing: prince! sunghoon x guard! fem! reader
word count: 8.1k (woah)
taglist: @kflixnet @kpopslays @jvjsssnaa a/n: it’s finally here! i sacrificed sleep for this and i do not regret it at all. this fic has two milestones for me - being my longest fic + a fic i’m kinda proud of. i hope you all enjoy it as much as i did writing it <3
PLEASE REBLOG/COMMENT IF YOU ENJOYED THIS FIC 🫶
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Sunghoon was reading over some papers pertaining to the kingdom’s matters when he heard a knock on the door.
“Enter.”
One of the guards came in, before bowing upon seeing him.
“Sire, his Majesty wishes to see you.”
He nodded and set the papers in a neat stack. He then put them in a drawer and locked it for security. He then stood up and followed the guard, maintaining a neutral expression.
His mind was working much faster than normal though.
His father was very strict, and the slightest mistake meant an extremely harsh lecture. He flicked through his memories, trying to remember what he could have done wrong, and what he should say as his apology. 
He pursed his lips as a thought crossed his mind - was his recent trip to the colder regions made known to his father? He had gone for administrative work, but he couldn’t resist spending some time there ice skating, which the king always considered useless since it benefited only the person skating, not the country. He had done his best to keep it under wraps, but maybe one of the guards reported this to the king. Damn it.
He mentally slapped himself for using such crude language. Those were the words of peasants and did not suit a prince like him. Holy moly…buckling barnacles, great heavens…such lengthy words to express frustration, he thought. ‘Damn it’ was only two syllables.
As he snapped out of his reverie, he entered the Throne Room. His father was seated on the grand throne at the end of the airy space. The seats where the ministers sat were empty. Court was always in the morning, and it was probably lunchtime by now - the prince wasn’t sure. 
He stood a few feet away from his father. The guard bowed and left, and Sunghoon made eye contact with the old man in front of him. He didn’t seem angry, so the younger relaxed a bit, letting out a sigh.
“Why have you called me here, father?”
“I’ve received some proposals from other kings. They’ve sent me paintings of their daughters. A lovely selection of princesses, I must say.”
Sunghoon had to physically hold himself back from rolling his eyes.
“Father, I’ve already told you this. I am not ready for marriage and I am not interested in this topic.”
“Yes, but it’s good to start early. Maybe you’ll change your mind after-”
“I’m sorry to interrupt you Father, but why have you actually summoned me?”
The king narrowed his eyes at his son but didn’t say anything more about the topic.
“Well, I’ve decided to get you a personal guard. There have been many threats of attacks on the palace, so it’s better to take this precaution.”
“Interesting. Will he be with me all the time or-”
“She.”
“What?”
“Your guard is a female.”
To say he was shocked was the understatement of the century. His father? Hiring a woman? As his bodyguard? What if he-
“Are you serious?” “Yes. She is very capable and I’m sure she will protect and serve you well. I trust you to keep your relationship with her strictly professional.”
It wasn’t like he knew how to have a non-professional relationship with anyone outside of his family anyway.
“Yes, Father. Will she be with me at all times?”
“Indeed she will, except for when you are sleeping. At that time, she will stand outside your door and guard you.” “What about her food and sleep?”
“That is not your concern.”
“But-”
“Silence!”
He immediately bowed his head slightly as a sign of remorse for stepping out of line. This was going to be interesting, he thought. He had little to no interaction with women outside of his mother and sister, and the small talk he made with princesses and duchesses of other kingdoms was always awkward. Now he was having someone of the opposite gender, a woman, watching over him nearly 24/7.
He slowed down his train of thought. Why was he thinking like a teenage boy ogling over a girl? He was the crown prince, he was better than that. It was going to be a new experience, that was all.
“May I meet her now?”
“Of course. She’s arriving as we speak.”
Just then, the door opened, and you entered, a male soldier on either side. Sunghoon’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, but nothing came out of it. 
He was having a cultural shock of sorts. All the women he had met were all dainty, graceful and poised - the epitome of perfection. You, on the other hand, had an air of authority about you — rough and firm. A few scars were on your face, probably from battle. You bowed the full 90 degrees, and he could only respond with a small nod.
Oh fuck, you were gorgeous.
And he used foul language again. Stupid Sunghoon, he reprimanded himself.
He didn’t take back what he said, however. Your beauty wasn’t the type written in books or sung in ballads, but it had to be known to the world, somehow. He was almost tempted to write one himself. 
Hold on, why was he thinking all this? His father had just told him to not think anything about you that crossed the lines of professional, and thinking about how pretty you were was not within those lines.
“This is your new personal guard, Y/N.”
You came over to him and bowed again, although at a smaller angle than before.
“N…Nice to meet you, Y-Y/N.”
Did he just stutter?!
“It is an honor, my prince. I swear to serve you to the best of my abilities.”
“I’m sure you will.”
He managed a small, formal smile, looking completely pleasant and unfazed.
Which he very much was not. He wanted to jump off the nearest balcony when you said ‘my prince’. He didn’t know why - you weren’t the only one who addressed him in that manner. You might’ve even learned it from someone in the palace, so why was he so hot and bothered with the way you said it?
“Your duties start today, guard.”
“Yes, your Majesty. I will not let you down.”
He was going crazy. You were just his new guard. Nothing less, nothing more. He would just have to rein in his thoughts and get it all together. Not a difficult task at all.
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As you stood behind him as he walked through the kingdom’s streets a week later, he seemed to keep a little distance from you, which was unsafe. Anything could happen within a few meters.
“My prince, you must slow your pace.”
He turned his face to look at you as he stopped walking.
“Oh? Why is that?”
“There’s a gap between us, and anyone could attack you with that.”
“Ah. I see. In that case…you can walk next to me. Or something.”
You stood next to him now. He quickly looked at the fruits a vendor was selling, trying his best to avert his gaze so that you wouldn’t see his reddening cheeks. It was unknown to him as to why he was so flustered. You were only doing your job, and that was it.
“Our kingdom seems to produce good crops.”
“Indeed they do, my prince. The farmer and the cultivators work very hard. It always seems to go unnoticed for some damn reason, though.”
He heard the angry tone in your voice and the curse word you said. This seemed to be a sore topic for you. He was curious, so he decided to ask more.
“What do you suggest, then?”
“We export more crops so that they get more revenue and in turn, they get paid as well. Increase the demand.”
You shrugged before turning your attention to a little kid who was clinging to your leg. You leaned down and patted his head, smiling a bit. The kid laughed and ran away. Sunghoon watched this interaction with interest and it dawned upon him that you cared about the people and their welfare, like a good ruler. 
Wait, why was he thinking about you being a ruler? You were only a soldier, and with the hierarchy now, there wasn’t much chance you could become more.
It did make him wonder, however, what you would do if the people rebelled. He shook his head, not wanting to think so dark. Your suggestion was smart, though. It made more sense the more he pondered over it. He’d mention this to the old man and see what he’d say.
“Shall we move on, guard?”
You stood up properly before nodding.
“Yes, my prince. Apologies for slowing you down.”
He dismissed you with a wave of his hand.
“Nothing of the sort. Come, let’s go.”
You both continued your stroll and for some reason, his heart was beating very unnaturally. He only had this issue when he was agitated, but there was no reason for him to be scared now, so why was this happening?
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It had only been two months since you became his personal guard, yet you were his closest and most trusted friend. He took all your ideas seriously and told them to the king who somehow accepted them, and called him ‘ingenious’ for supposedly coming up with them. He hated taking false credit, but he knew that he couldn’t tell his father that you were the mastermind of them all — he would then question Sunghoon as to why he was talking to them in the first place, which would lead to you being removed from your post and replaced with a boring male soldier. 
He didn’t want to lose you, not when he finally found a change in his monotonous life, someone to brighten his dull days, someone to call a friend, even though it was only known to the both of you and no one else. He couldn’t bear to have you gone.
He was sitting underneath a tree, looking up at the sky in the comfort of the gardens reserved for his family and visitors alone. His father never came here out of his own accord - he always considered it a waste of time. His mother was in her room, and her sister was in another kingdom discussing alliances. This was a moment very rare, just you and him, with no one to interrupt or catch you two slacking. 
You were sitting next to him, only a few inches away. The wind was blowing gently on his face. He closed his eyes and smiled, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Your presence next to him was oddly comforting. He opened his eyes again, turned his head, and looked at you, wanting to ask you something. 
“Guard, you know how I always give your suggestions to the king and how he always says ‘I’ did a good job thinking about them?”
Your face tightened the same way it did every time he took credit for your ideas in front of his father. He sighed.
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, I wanted to apologize for that.”
You tilted your head at him, clearly not understanding two things - why he was suddenly saying sorry, and how you doing that simple thing made him go insane. You took over him, body and soul. All he could think of when he tried to sleep was you. It was just two months. Two months, and he was already attached to you. He was convinced, however, that it wasn’t love or anything stupid like that. No, it was simply him forming a close connection to the first person who cared about him. Not everything was romantic affection. He had never tasted this emotion, obviously, but he’d say that he knew enough about it to confirm this wasn’t it.
“Why now, my prince? I’m sorry- I just didn’t expect you to, y’know…actually apologize. Never met a royal who’s done so. They’re all usually stuck-up snobs who think their shit is worth the entire kingdom.”
He snorted at that. It wasn’t like you were wrong, most of the royals he met were indeed very arrogant. He didn’t dare anything about it though, simply doing his best to not behave like them.
“It’s not right of me to take credit for something I don’t even have the brain for. I don’t mention your name for your security. If my father knew I was talking to you about matters like these, then…”
He made a motion of him cutting his own throat, complete with the sound effect. You grinned a bit, which was enough for him to be over the moon, but then you laughed. Not just a ‘teehee’ or a ‘haha’ - an actual, proper laugh. His heart swelled, maybe his jokes didn’t suck that much. Your laugh was indescribable. It was a delightful sound to listen to. It was short, but he wanted to hear it every day at least once for the rest of his life instead of those ballads that were sung in the court all the time. 
The way your eyes formed crescents, the way your face was half in the light and half in the shadow, the way the wind put an orange leaf in your hair like it was an accessory - it was making him sick in a good way. He rarely saw you smile, let alone laugh like this. He knew that you had to keep your expression serious all the time - all the soldiers had that training - and this was a proud moment for him to see you loosen up. He couldn’t help the small smile on his own face.
“My prince, is he really that harsh? I’m aware that he is super damn strict to us soldiers, but that’s expected since we have to be toughened up to protect the land.”
His smile faded before he shook his head in agreement.
“I’d say so. It’s for my good- I am the next in line, after all.”
“I don’t think forcing your child to have no friends is how you raise him to be king. He won’t know how to have proper social interactions.”
There you were again, hitting the mark accurately with your observation. He sucked at interacting with other people. Slowly, he was starting to dislike his father more. The faults he never saw in him earlier were becoming visible, the saint-like image he had of the king since childhood fading away. Was this meant to happen? He wasn’t sure.
“Right. I’m living proof.”
You shook your head in alarm.
“Oh shit- please don’t be offended by my idiotic statement, my prince…I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, really-”
He chuckled at how you were panicking and made a motion with his hand for you to calm down.
“It’s okay. I didn’t take it that way.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
He saw your body relax as he rested his head against the bark of the tree again. He gazed at the sky, eyes fixated on the clouds and the way they moved in the direction of the breeze. Two questions lingered in his mind, and his mouth suddenly blurted one out.
“Do you ever sleep?”
It was random, sure, but he had to know. He was concerned for you. He never saw you leave his side, except for when he was asleep, and he already knew what you did then. You were still staring at him, but he didn’t notice.
“I do. I’m a normal person, my prince, I can’t function without food and rest. That’s impossible.”
“When?”
You let out a slight laugh at his curiosity, and his heart started pounding faster again.
“You don’t notice, do you? That means I’m performing the stealth part of my job well. When you’re in the dining room or a meeting surrounded by the best soldiers. That’s when. I also don’t stand watch for you every night. I alternate with another guard.”
His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape in understanding. He didn’t notice it at all, which meant that either you were a master of stealth, as you said, or he was just blind. It was most likely the former since he had no doubt in your abilities.
“I see. I was very worried for you, honestly.”
“I’m honored that I was an object of your concern, my prince.”
He scoffed at your slightly surprised expression. 
“Of course, I would. You’re my personal guard, what reason is there for me to treat you inhumanly?”
That stupid fucking slip of his tongue.
Shit, he just cursed.
Damn it, again.
His tutor and family would go crazy if they could read his thoughts.
Of course he had to refer to you as his, like you were property. Of course he had to emphasize on that word as well. You were making him loosen up too much. It shouldn’t have happened, not at all. He couldn’t continue like this, what if he accidentally cursed in front of people? He would never be heard of again.
“I’d say I had expected that, but you’re different from other royals, so not really.”
“I understand. Also, you don’t have to call me ‘my prince’ when we’re alone. Just Sunghoon is enough.”
Your eyes widened in astonishment.
“My prince, I wouldn’t dare to-”
“Really guard. It’s fine.”
“But his Majesty-”
“He doesn’t have to know. Our secret.”
“If you say so…it’ll take me time to get used to calling you by your name, princ- I mean, Sunghoon.”
“Already getting there.”
“I guess so. In that case, you can call me by just my name. No need for ‘guard’.”
“Your wish is my command, Y/N.”
This was new. Not referring to someone by their title was disrespectful. He learned from a ripe young age that if he didn’t call someone by their title, he could end up with his head on a guillotine block in some places. Were you seriously making all his long years of education unravel? Silence fell upon the two of you before he spoke up again.
“What do you think love is like?”
You must’ve been taken aback, and he expected to see such an expression on your face. Instead, when he stole a glance at you, it was something else. Wistful? Longing? He couldn’t name it exactly.
“Books don’t give it justice. Neither do ballads. It’s…more than that.”
He was intrigued by your response. He raised an eyebrow, signalling you to continue.
“Oh? You’ve been in love before?”
You stared at him, a sad smile forming on your lips, a look flashing in your eyes. One of remorse, he recognized.
“Yeah. It was depressingly…beautiful.”
His chest tightened at your words for some reason.
“Heartbreak?”
“Kind of. We fought a lot…our personalities were very different. Then when we finally reconciled…he died. An illness took him away.”
Your eyes were filled with so much hurt, it almost made him cry. This was his first time seeing you emotional, vulnerable, and while he was honored that you trusted him enough to show you this side of yours, he wondered how much you were hiding away. All he wanted was to protect you so that you would never have to go through something as painful as that. He made a resolve to make sure that he was never the cause of the agony in your eyes.
“I’m so sorry that happened.”
“It’s fine. It was just- unexpected. It’s been a year anyway.”
“I hope this doesn’t bring back memories you buried, but…how would you describe love?”
You rested your chin on your palm, thinking for a bit.
“Love isn’t only about the physical signs. For me, love is always wanting to be by someone’s side, being so head over heels for them that even the littlest things like…I don’t know, something stupid, makes you remember them. It’s being their biggest supporter, but also telling them when they’re wrong. Love is wanting to keep them safe from all the bad in this world. It’s when even the simplest thing they do brightens your day, like a smile or a small act of kindness. Love is when you put their needs and wants above everything and everyone else. There’s obviously more, but that’s my personal experience.”
Holy moly. Sunghoon was in love.
He was in love. That emotion many desired to feel at least once. All his previous notions and confidence about it being platonic flew out the window. He very clearly did not learn enough about this feeling. He didn’t know whether he wanted to be happy that he could say he had loved once in his life, or scream in frustration that he fell for someone out of his league and not some princess who he was supposed to want like this.
God, he hated himself.
“Pri- Sunghoon, are you okay?”
Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He couldn’t let you know, he was a hundred percent sure that you didn’t feel the same. Plus, he was the prince, and if you both were caught, it would mean bad for him and catastrophic for you.
“I’m fine. Come, let’s go. We might get caught if we stay any longer.”
He stood up immediately. You were confused but followed his orders. What he said, you obeyed.
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It had been eight months since you became his personal guard, and half a year since he realized that he was in love with you. He tried to distance himself, but one look or word from you and his resolve faltered. He was so deep in this pit, and he didn’t know whether he wanted to dig deeper or climb out. He wanted you to stay away and he also loved the way you destroyed every single one of the walls he built around himself subconsciously. 
He matured, and he was no longer the shy boy who didn’t know how to talk to someone of the opposite gender. He was a confident and charming crown prince now, the man of many’s dreams. You were the only one on his mind though. 
His father was now eager to get him married off, and he had to comply with his wishes, He was no longer the king who served the people anymore - he was corrupted, only thinking about power. Sunghoon did his best to undo the damage inflicted on the population, but the situation was getting tense, and he knew it. Rebels were raising their heads and it was his job to keep them in check. It was difficult, but you helped him through it.
Presently, he was sitting in the dining room with his family, the king, queen, princess, and officials of the Hwan kingdom. This was the proposal his father liked the most because the Hwan kingdom was rich in resources, and this alliance hidden as a marriage would give the Parks access to those coveted precious stones. He was hoping, however, that the other king would say no for some reason and he’d be free.
He had no interest in the princess, however. She was too boring for him. They had zero common likes, and the only thing they related to each other on was the struggles of being next in line. This was probably the worst match he had ever met. She seemed like she wanted this much less than he did. She was at least trying, he had to give her that.
You stood behind him on his right side. He so desperately wanted to turn around and see your reaction to all this. Your face had to have no expression now, obviously, but you both shared secret looks with each other in odd situations, and he was sure you’d find this amusing. The chatter across the table died down suddenly, and all the attention was on the two kings in the room.
“We’ve agreed on this marriage. Prince Sunghoon and Princess Hyeju are now betrothed!”
Sunghoon’s hands, which were tapping the table, stilled. He froze in shock, every voluntary muscle in his body stopping movement.
No, this couldn’t happen.
This was a nightmare, a terrible dream. He pinched his thigh underneath the table and ended up proving to his dismay that he was wrong.
This was the worst day of his life.
His father droned on about the details of the wedding. He tuned it all out. He tilted his head just a little to see your face and noticed that you were gripping your spear much tighter than necessary. You knew that he didn’t want this, not at all. Maybe you were angry on his behalf.
He couldn’t do anything about this, however. This was just his fate, and he resigned to it immediately. 
The meeting ended, and everyone, including Sunghoon, stood up and exited the room. You followed him as he went straight to the gardens to clear his head. His family would be occupied with entertaining the guests and making more plans, so it was just you and him. Again.
He sat in his usual spot underneath the same tree. He buried his face in his hands, frustrated. He heard the sound of you sitting down next to him, before feeling your hand lightly grip his shoulder.
“Hey, Sunghoon?”
“You don’t have to say anything. It’s fine.”
“I know how much you don’t want this. Trust me, I don’t want it either.”
The second sentence was uttered in a more quiet voice, and he moved his hands away from his face to look at you in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
Your lips formed a thin line, your body language making it clear that you were saying this with hesitation.
“I don’t want you to marry her.”
You removed your hand from his shoulder. You looked down at the grass, fresh and green from the new spring season.
“Why? I mean- other than me not wanting it personally, there’s no reason you should hate it…this is an amazing opportunity for the people and the kingdom! We will prosper-”
“Fuck the people and the kingdom- I want you, dumbass.”
His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped.
“What…do you mean.”
“I love you really badly. That’s what I mean.”
He couldn’t believe it. You, the very person he always desired desperately, his forbidden fruit, loved him back? Wanted him? This wasn’t real. He must’ve been knocked out after the marriage announcement and slipped into a pleasant dream.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You want me to prove it?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t know what to expect, but you grabbing his face and crashing your lips on his was the farthest from his vague idea of what might happen. 
It lasted for a few seconds before you pulled away suddenly. You noticed his dazed expression and started to panic.
“Shit, shouldn’t have done that, please don’t kill me, I-”
Your voice snapped him out of his haze before he placed his hand on your waist and pulled you in for another kiss. His hand tucked one strand of hair behind your ear and you melted into the action, calming down instantly. He was so gentle, so careful, he was holding you like you were a delicate object that was to be treated with utmost care at all times. When you both parted, his face wore a lovesick smile, his eyes sparkling like stars.
“I feel the same.”
“Yeah, it was obvious.”
He chuckled at your comment, before frowning. 
“You know this is dangerous, right? We shouldn’t be doing this.”
Your shoulders slumped at his words, knowing that he was completely correct.
“I do. I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. I just didn’t…know how to tell you.”
He shook his head. To him, you could do no wrong. It was his fault. He should have gotten rid of you so that he could nip the blooming flower in his heart from the bud. He shouldn’t have been such a coward.
“I understand what you mean now. I don’t know how to stop it, though.”
“That’s…fine. Just knowing you feel the same is enough for me.”
It wasn’t. Neither for you, neither for him, and you both knew that. The fact that he couldn’t be yours and you couldn’t be his simply because of both of your duties was like a nasty, sharp torn ledged in the soft flesh of his heart. You and him were not meant to be. Your romance was only a fantasy, to be never fulfilled.
“Precisely. This is all it’ll ever be.”
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It was night. He had one week until his wedding with the Hwan princess, and he was dreading it. Seeing your face became unbearable for him sometimes — you reminded him that he had everything a commoner could only dream of, but even the poorest of poor could love and he couldn’t. He was ready to throw his entire life away and disappear with you, but his fear of what would happen next to the country held him back. 
He stared out the window in his bedroom which gave him a perfect view of the private gardens. The place where it all started and ended. The moonlight shone on the trees and flowers, giving it a peaceful aura, different from the cheery one it had in the daytime. Even in the comfort of his silk night clothes and soft blankets, he was in a state of unrest. He wanted to run, wanted to be free, wanted, wanted, wanted. He lay down, resting his head on his pillow as he waited for sleep to find him while he closed his eyes. Thankfully, the night was kind to him, and he dozed off almost instantly.
Sunghoon was rudely woken up by you frantically shaking his figure, pleading with you to wake up. When he came to his senses, he heard alarms sounding in the palace and immediately understood that it was an emergency, although what might’ve exactly happened was beyond him.
“Y/N, Y/N, I’m up. What’s going on?”
He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and slapping his face for good measure.
“Rebels. Come, we need to run.”
The first word was enough for him to be fully alert. He foresaw them coming, so it wasn’t a big shocker for him. He put on his slippers and looked at you with determination. He was actually trying to mask his fear, but you didn’t need to know that. You grabbed his arm and ran out of the room. He was a bit startled at your speed at first, but quickly matched your pace. When you both reached a corridor, you slowed down, wanting to be careful of surprise attacks.
“Hide your face to the best of your ability. I’m not sure if they’ll recognize you in non-prince clothes, but it’s better to be safe. They’ll aim for me instead since I have the palace uniform.”
His chest tightened. You were ready to give up your life for his. He knew that was protocol for all soldiers - royals over their own lives. He knew, but you were different. He didn’t want you to die, he couldn’t imagine a life without you. You were his oxygen, he’d suffocate if you were gone.
Suddenly, he noticed a flash of light. He heard a whoosh and he saw the way your hair moved in the direction of the sound. He assumed it was a gust of air along with the lights of the palace shining weirdly, but then he looked at the wall in front of him and realized what it was - an arrow. It was embedded in said wall, and you had missed it by a hair’s breath. Literally. It had scratched your face, but other than that, you were fine.
You pulled him down to remain on the floor, before you stood up and ran to the rebel that shot it, your hands gripping your sword tight. You engaged in combat with her. She was rather buff, and even though she only had a bow and an arrow holder on her, she was slowly gaining ground in the fight. She was blocking your thrusts with her bow, catching your moves with its string. She landed a harsh blow on your chest, and he gritted his teeth seeing your sharp flinch. He had to do something and fast.
He crawl-walked across the floor, making sure to stay unnoticed. He moved to stand behind the rebel before forcefully grabbing her neck. She was gagged, and the sudden lack of air caught her off guard. You took the opportunity and struck her in the heart, and he let go of her. 
You both ran off, eager to get to the safe room specially built for situations like this. Barely some distance away, he raised his head, neck aching from the constant strain, when you suddenly pushed him to the ground and covered his mouth with your hand. He was about to protest, feeling kind of hot and bothered with his position, but then he decided against it. You definitely did this for a reason, and he could repress his feelings for a while.
Your head turned as you stared at a rebel passing by, praying he wouldn’t notice you both. He was blind to your movement thankfully, and as soon as he left, you got off of Sunghoon, pulled him up, and ran. You pushed the door of the safe room which was behind a cupboard open with your shoulder, and he then realized that he was the first one to reach. The door closed, and he glanced at you, relief and gratitude clear in his eyes. 
You gave him a thumbs up and turned to leave to assist the other soldiers with getting the rest of his family to the room when he suddenly grabbed your wrist. You looked at him with confusion, and you opened your mouth to ask him what he was doing when he placed his lips on yours. You let out a soft gasp when he held you closer, one arm around your waist, the other hand on your back, holding you close. This wasn’t like the last time you kissed — this was desperate, filled with emotion. He let go of you too soon, eyes shining with tears. 
You both knew that there was a chance you wouldn’t come back to him, and this could be the last time he saw you.
You squeezed his hand in an attempt to reassure him. He just nodded at the door, knowing that you had your duty. You bowed and left as he watched you in fear, praying that you’d make it.
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After the attack by the rebels, there were always new questions about the palace’s security floating around. Quite a few lives were lost. None of them were you or his family, but Sunghoon still grieved for them mentally. He couldn’t imagine the agony their families must’ve been going through, and he managed to convince his father to give all the deceased’s close relatives compensation. 
The wedding was called off for now, much to his delight and his father’s despair. The old man had accused him of doing something to sabotage it, but he had grown a thicker skin, thanks to you. All efforts were now being put into strengthening the forces of the kingdom, and the actual matters of state were being ignored. This would lead to more rebellion, but his father didn’t seem to care. At this rate, he could die if he stepped out of the palace grounds — the people hated him that much. Sunghoon was already preparing to become the next ruler since that future would become a reality pretty soon. 
A surprise attack was inevitable, but he didn’t expect the aggressor to be the damn Hwan kingdom.
They must’ve heard about the damage inflicted on the palace from spies and knew that the Park kingdom would be focusing its efforts on repairing it, thus taking advantage of the situation. It was smart of king Hwan, Sunghoon would give him that.
He rode his horse while inspecting the soldiers preparing for battle. None of them were properly ready for this. Many veteran soldiers were on break and were called back suddenly. They all did come, and he was grateful to them for that, even when they had the right to refuse. The troops were arranging their positions quickly, and a little bit of his anxiety relaxed. Their army was strong, they could face this.
As he rode back, he saw his father, who was seething with rage at being betrayed, Sunghoon’s brain was in overdrive. Many of these brave soldiers would sacrifice their body and soul for a stupid fight that wouldn’t bring much to the land that could have been easily prevented. He knew it would happen, but didn’t do anything that was enough to fix it. He couldn’t keep falling short of what was necessary, that wasn’t what a future king would do. 
Not wanting to talk to the old man, he rode a little further where you were on your own horse, surveying the battlefield. He relaxed a bit more upon seeing you and moved to be next to you.
“This will be a tough fight, Sunghoon.”
“I hope it remains a fight that ends today and not a war that stretches over days.”
“Where we are victorious.”
“Obviously.”
“My- Sunghoon, what will you do in case your father…is killed?”
The slip-up and the way ‘my Sunghoon’ rolled off your tongue so perfectly made him miss your actual question for a moment. He let out a soft giggle, before manning up to think. He hadn’t considered that possibility at all. If that happened, then he would automatically become the next king. He’d rule the land and hopefully lead better than the previous king and his reign would be peaceful. He’d make sure of that.
“Be the next ruler, of course. I’d promote you to my personal advisor.”
You cracked a small smile at that.
“Not enough brain. Plus, what if I don’t make it?”
“Won’t happen. You’re too sexy to die. Your abilities are top tier too, you’ll survive.”
You laughed now, and he smiled fully at you. This was a situation unheard of — right before a whole battle, he was here flirting with you and laughing. So very serious. 
He leaned his head closer to yours, hair falling over his eyes. They were pleading silently with you to steal one last kiss, one last secret gesture of love before you both left to fight, one last chance to hold you. You shortened the gap, about to comply, when the war horn sounded, signaling the start of the battle. He frowned, angry at the lost chance, but quickly kissed your forehead. You pecked his cheek in return, before putting on your helmet and riding off. 
The sound of hooves hitting the ground and the sight of dust flying from them brought him back into the moment, and he rode in the same direction as his own army, intending to lead the fight. His father was weak and made dumb decisions, so it was up to him. He moved directly to the frontlines, pulling out his sword from its hilt as an enemy soldier charged at him. He fought with ease, and soon a dead body was on the ground.
He should have been desensitized now upon seeing gore and corpses, but it still disgusted him. He gritted his teeth and averted his gaze as he parried with more enemies. Soldiers were dropping left and right from both sides. Blood splatters were on his own face from fighting so fiercely. It was a miracle that he was still standing with only minor injuries, the Hwan soldiers were vigorous. 
Time was passing quickly, although for him it felt like an eternity. He just wanted to go back after all this ended. He didn’t care if he had to marry the Hwan princess, all he wanted was for this bloodshed to end. The sound of arrows being shot, horses neighing, grunts of hurt and dying soldiers — it was all too much for him.
All of a sudden, a more experienced soldier was attacking him, he could tell by the moves. His entire focus was on fighting back because this guy could actually kill him, that much was clear. He didn’t notice the other soldier charging towards him from his left with a spear until he heard a clang. 
His eyes darted in the direction of the sound for a second, only to see you had blocked the attack and thrown the soldier off his horse. He was impressed and inspired by you, and with renewed strength, he killed the veteran. He gave you a thumbs up, before looking to his right as someone else ran to replace the deceased soldier. He was ready to fight that person and everyone else with you and for you.
Then, tragedy struck.
An arrow was heading in his direction. Occupied with the current fight he was in, Sunghoon was in no position to dodge it, and you took the blow. Pushing his horse with your own, the arrow lodged in your chest instead. The only reason he noticed it was because of the sound of pain you made. He finished off the man fighting him, and then turned his head to look at you. Your head was drooping slightly and your grip on the reins of your horse had faltered.
No, no, no, this can’t happen!
You were supposed to stay with him, you were supposed to be by his side forever, he was supposed to get more chances to love you, even in secret, not just lose you like this.
He immediately shoved his sword back in its hilt before grabbing your torso to steady you. You were very faintly there, you just had to keep going a bit more for him, and he knew you could.
“Y/N, hold on, okay? Don’t close your eyes, please.”
“Try…ing.”
Fuck, your voice was so weak, you really were trying. He’d end your suffering soon, he promised silently.
Coincidentally, the war horn sounded once more, signifying the end of the battle. It was his kingdom’s, which meant he had won, just like you wanted. 
But you weren’t conscious enough to realize it.
He promptly sat you on his horse in front of him, one arm around your waist holding you close and tight. He galloped fast to the palace medic, the best one in the entire region. He ignored the weird looks and the shouts of his name, traveling with urgency. He had to move fast for your sake, and also for his own. He’d lose his shit if you…no. You weren’t going to, he was sure of it.
“Try to not focus on the pain, we’re almost there.”
That was stupid advice, but he had to say something, anything to save him.
“This doctor will fix you up, I swear. Just- don’t give up yet, Y/N. I beg of you. It’s all I’ll ask for this badly from you.”
Your head was now tilted back, and it rested on his right shoulder. You opened your eyes slightly to look at him, which he took as a good sign.
Then you spoke.
“I won’t…won’t make it. It’s…no point…denying it…my…Hoon, I…love you.”
At your words, Sunghoon’s lips formed a thin line as he squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds to force his tears to stay back. He could feel the blood running from your wound and collecting onto the sleeve of his suit, but he refused to accept it. You would make it, you couldn’t die.
“Shut-Shut up. You’re not dying, not when I’m here. Look, we’ve reached- you’ll be okay, I swear.”
He got off the horse, your limp body in his arms bridal style.
He wished he could be holding you like this in a different, more happier situation.
The doctor rushed out of her house and knew that it was urgent upon seeing the prince at her door. She took you in and he waited outside, pacing around nervously. He was so certain you’d survive, but the wound could be a major setback for the rest of your life. He’d have to make adjustments to accommodate you at the palace. He wouldn’t mind though, it was for you after all.
The doctor came out after a few minutes, and he waited for her to say something along the lines of ‘she survived, but ___’. Not to see her shake her head with a soft sigh. 
“I’m sorry. She didn’t make it. She was gone when you came here. We tried our best, but…the arrow was poison tipped, which reduced her chances of surviving to zero.”
No. No no no no no. This lady was old and wrinkling, she was probably cuckoo and playing an unfunny prank on him.
“Can I see her? Alone?”
“Of course, sire.”
He rushed inside immediately, expecting to see you on the bed bandaged up and smiling at how well the prank worked on him-
She was right. You really were gone. You took your last breath in his arms. Your arms rested limply by your sides. The arrow was removed, but the blood stains were on your armor as evidence that the fatal injury did indeed happen. Useful reminder for a delusional ass like his. Your helmet was off your head now.
He sat down on a chair next to your bed and held one of your hands gingerly. It was already turning cold, and he hated it. He felt freshly made cuts and bruises along with older scars on your palm. His gaze fell on your face. The scratch you got from the rebel’s ambush was still partially healing. He took in your features with intense concentration, engraving them in his memory. He despised the fact that you looked so much at peace right now – when you just left his entire life in turmoil. He needed so badly to shake you back to life or something, but he knew that there was no point now. He lifted your hand up to his lips, kissing it in a tender manner, a weak replacement for the one you both missed maybe an hour or two before. 
Just when he let go of your hand, the doctor rushed in with news.
“Sire, his majesty has passed away due to a…similar poisonous arrow shortly after victory.”
Both the people he knew wanted to win the most were dead just after it happened. Ironic, he thought - this was worthless now.
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King Sunghoon walked through the cemetery for soldiers who had sacrificed their lives for the country. He stopped right in front of one which had many flower bouquets, a lot of them from his own previous visits, all of them your favorite flowers. He got on his knees on the right side of your gravestone, head bowed in respect and hands folded in his lap.
“Hello, Y/N. I know I’ve come to see you many times before, but I can’t help it. I miss you so much. You left too soon. I still believe that I should have taken that arrow instead of you…although it was for the better in hindsight. At least your last memory was of me and your pain ended quickly.”
Silence. He quickly wiped his eyes.
“I love you, Y/N. I still do, so much. I should move on by now, but it’s hard. Not when you meant so much to me, not when you changed me. A little for the worse, mostly for the better.”
He laughed dryly, looking at his hands. An expensive ring gleamed on his ring finger.
“I married a queen who I liked a lot. Not the Hwan princess, although she and I keep in touch often. We’re allies now. Kind of ironic, since I lost you and the old man in a war against that same kingdom’s old ruler.”
He wasn’t willing to let himself break, what if someone walked in on him sobbing over a dead soldier's grave? What would they think? He poked his eyes with his fingers, still in misery. No matter how much he tried, everything in his brain led back to you. While he didn’t want you to fade or leave his mind exactly, you were only meant to be a guest, visiting occasionally, not a permanent resident, not someone he still needed. When he calmed down, he quietly lifted his crown off his head and put it on top of your gravestone. He placed a solemn hand on it, closing his eyes. “This is a love stained crown, tainted with you and I, along with all our memories. Your affection will never wash away, no matter how much I try. I miss you and I love you, and I hope you’re doing better, wherever you are.”
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sphireath-wisp · 6 months
Text
#Sweather Weather
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Sypnosis: "Because the season I like is a short thing, it melted away without me noticing. Alone in this moving scenery, I stand still and think of you." Spending their favorite season with you.
Warnings: Not Proofread, short, indulged a little, you can definitely tell who are my favorites
Featuring: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor x GN! Reader/MC
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Lucifer - Autumn
After a long day, Lucifer settles in his office, knees giving up on carrying his own weight and he lands right onto the cushions of his chair. A sigh causes all the tension he's stored up to release - shoulders slumping, jaw relaxing, finally dropping the prideful facade and front he puts up for Diavolo's sake once he's alone.
Well, not entirely, alone.
You're there, right by him during his favourite season, and he hopes you stay just as close during any other season. You're leaning forward, back arched as your head rests on the little space left on his table aside from all of the documents and papers piled onto it. Judging by your soft snores, you're sound asleep.
"(Name)... what am I going to do with you, human?" he speaks more fondly than he realizes, expression softening as he's found comfort in your presence. Leaving a chaste kiss on your forehead, he drapes his coat over your shoulders - it is getting colder after all, he excuses his actions internally.
Lucifer doesn't exactly remember when your habit began, but from his memory, he remembers it was another autumn night. Adjusting to Devildom wasn't an easy feat and sleep didn't come as easily as you hoped some nights. With pillows wrapped in your embrace and hauling your blankets down the hallway, you found refuge in his office.
"(Name)?" He's surprised you forgot to knock. If not for his own exhaustion, he would have grown more irritated by the intrusion. "Is there something you need?"
"...Can't sleep. Sorry for barging in like this," he can faintly hear your murmurs, voice hoarse.
"Have any of my brothers been disrupting your sleep schedule?" The first thing that comes to his mind would be the troublesome second-born.
"No, I just... want some company. Is it okay if I just sit here?" You gesture.
Lucifer's eyes narrow slightly. While it would be easy to chase you out - Lucifer is busy enough, taking care of you is also one of his many responsibilities. "...Don't touch anything."
It wasn't a direct 'no', you figure. "Yessir."
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Mammon - Summer
Basking in the sun, toes in the sand, and shots of blue paradise that leave a fruity taste on one's tongue is what summer is all about... according to Mammon. There's no better time to take a dip in the ocean and let loose with a few margaritas when it comes to summer.
He had been raving about going to the beach the whole of Spring to the point where it had reached Diavolo's ears. "It's a well-deserved break, ya know?" Mammon bargained with Diavolo, delighted to the extremes when he agreed to let him and his brothers take a short vacation at his private resort.
But, of course, Mammon had his ulterior motives.
"Come on, (Name)! You're the only human that keeps me waiting like this, ya know?" Mammon reaches out for your hand, grip firm when you finally envelop his hand with yours - as if he never wanted to let you go.
"I heard there was some good treasure buried around the resort. Imagine the amount of grimm I could get if we found a gem or two!" Mammon leads you to the beach, not a stagger in his steps as he practically skips there.
"So, you want to make me help you find some treasure?"
"Ya finally got it, human! Now, come-"
"and do you know where this so-called treasure is? Or what we're gonna use to dig it up?"
Mammon's silence and expression tell you he didn't exactly think this through. "W-well, we'll figure it out on the way, right?" He quickly quips back to life, a happy-go-lucky grin on his face when you laugh at his antics.
"Fine, but I get 90% of the treasure."
"E-eh?! C'mon, that's too much!"
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Leviathan - Autumn
Levi doesn't find himself liking a certain season. But if he HAD to pick one, it'd be autumn.
Winter gets too cold for his scales and he has to tend to them, which is a hassle since he could be spending that precious time binge-watching the latest animes. Summer is too hot for his liking and it's not as if he can bring his figurines to the beach where they could be washed away in the ocean! Spring? Eh, it's alright - nothing too special to Levi.
But, autumn! Halloween animes and events! New merch and deals! Price drops and cosy weather! The four seasons honestly don't make that much of a difference to him because he likes to stay inside, but autumn actually makes him want to step outside for a bit.
Not to mention, you - his favorite normie, his player 2. That extra ticket he "accidentally" bought for the upcoming convention would go to waste if he didn't ask you. Mustering up all of his courage, he shyly slides the slip of paper into your hand during game night.
"Oh, you want me to come along?"
"I mean- if you want to!" He almost drops the controller, "Of course, I'll teach you all the proper etiquette."
Your light giggle causes Levi's face to flush red. "Okay then," he breathes a sigh of relief, burying his face even deeper into the pillow on his lap, "I'll come along."
"You're sure, right? Like, 100% sure?" Your nod reassures his doubts, calming his nerves and racing heartbeat. You have no idea how happy you've made him.
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Satan - Winter
Curled up with a good book, right by the fireplace in the House of Lamentation, Satan enjoys the cosy atmosphere in the library. In the warm glow of the fire, his favourite sweater was on you instead of him - he always insisted it looked so much better on you than him, he thanked the fact that everyone else was out grocery shopping now.
It was the peak of winter and much too cold for any human to handle. No matter how many layers you were wrapped with, you couldn't stop shivering and figured it'd be best to stay home. "Someone has to take care of the House of Lamentation. (Name) shouldn't move far from the fire, so I'll take over for them." was the excuse that Satan conjured up, a hand on his chin as he dared Lucifer to try and oppose him.
Other than the occasional objection from Levi + Belphie (who wanted to stay home as much as you), Mammon (who wanted to be you and is linked to you by the hip), and Asmo (who insisted that the cold weather was terrible for his oh-so-delicate skin), he won the battle of words and finally had a moment of peace - with his favourite person too.
"Still feeling cold?" As observant as ever, Satan takes notice of your trembling form. You rub your hands together for friction, hoping to generate heat. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Come on, I don't want you to freeze." Satan drags his chair closer to the fire before sitting down, patting his lap with his free hand. You oblige, making yourself comfortable and wrapping your arms around his neck. You feel him rub circles on your back, reading the book in his hand out loud in a low whisper so you can tune in as well.
You bury your face into the crook of his neck. He sighs. "Still feeling cold? Is this any better?"
"Much better. My fingers felt like freezing off." He chuckles, allowing your hands to wander for warmth under his shirt. Satan uses one hand to hold the book, thumb wedged between the pages to keep it open and bookmark where he had stopped. His other hand trailed up your back, toying and playing with your hair and along the nape of your neck.
"Good. Would you like me to continue reading?"
"Yes, please."
"Okay," he says with a smile. He hopes winter doesn't end anytime soon.
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Asmodeus - Spring
"Darling, should I keep this or give it as a hand-me-down?" Asmo asks you for the umpteenth time as you lay on his bed. A soft hum escapes you as you think, "You could pass it to Levi, he did say he needed the extra fabric for cosplays. I don't think this jacket suits you anyway."
Winter had ended on a good note. Spring was right around the corner. Lucifer deemed it necessary to do some spring cleaning, which meant that clearing out Asmo's closet was on his list of responsibilities. The clothes were never piled up messily like Belphie or Mammon's, more like untouched since some weren't trendy anymore or couldn't be used for many occasions.
Plus, being Asmo's second opinion means you were the first to snatch any clothes he didn't want anymore. They were always good quality and never stained, so it was practically brand new.
"Nono, keep that one! You could pair it with the jeans you kept just now."
"Oh, right! You have a great eye, sweetheart," You giggle at the compliment.
"Should we give this to Belphie or Satan? Beel would be too big for this." Asmo tosses the fabric to you.
"Belphie in pink?" You bite your lower lip to hold back your laugh, "Asmo, what are you thinking? Belphie would burn this the moment he receives this."
"You'd be surprised at how good Belphie looks in pink, sweetie. It's that bleak attitude and eyebags that hold him back," Asmo continues to dig through his closet, "He let me paint his nails pink before...
Albeit, he was sleeping."
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Beelzebub - Summer
It's a nice cool evening and while everyone else is back at their hotel rooms, you bumped into Beel - surprisingly without Belphie since the twins are usually together - near the lobby while planning to go for a stroll. "I'll go with you," he declares firmly, "wouldn't want you getting hurt or lost."
Of course, the only setback is Beel's insatiable hunger, stomach growling just as you begin your stroll - he forgot that his former purpose for going to the lobby was to stop by the snack bar. It wasn't much of a hassle to retrace your steps back, but you couldn't resist the idea of having an impromptu barbecue.
"Careful, it's hot." Beel passes you the meat skewer, blowing light puffs of air on it and holding himself back from eating it right then and there - he made it specifically for you in mind, so he'd disappoint himself if he did decide to eat it impulsively.
And you notice. From the way he paused midway, eyes locked onto the skewer that was starting to look more and more delectable as he stared at it, you could tell immediately that he was dying to have a bite.
Eventually, he passes it to you, eyes only leaving its direction after he passes it to you.
"Want a bite? You've been cooking for a while now," You chuckle.
"Really? You don't mind?" You could see stars forming in his eyes and you giggle at his enthusiasm. When you shake your head, he's practically bursting in euphoria. "I won't be able to hold back, you know that, right?"
You lift the skewer in front of his face and, meeting it eye-to-eye, he couldn't resist. Attention stolen by the skewer before him, you take over and cook for him. It was a futile attempt to keep up with him and he knew it, but food tasted so much better when it's made by you that he couldn't help but ask for another serving.
"All this meat was actually supposed to be for tomorrow's barbecue," You laugh. ""It'll be fine, I'll take the blame," A hand cups your cheek, catching you off guard before it whisks your head towards Beel's direction. He holds the skewer up to your mouth.
"Here, take a bite."
"Thanks," You chew slowly when Beel reminds you to take your time, vivid memories of the last time you choked on your food.
"It's good, right?" His smile only widens when you nod, "I'm glad."
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Belphegor - Winter
Come on now. It was plain obvious why Belphie loved winter so much. Cold weather makes him sleepy, and it's always cold. He can hibernate through the whole day and he wouldn't need to move an inch! He rarely woke up during winter, even with the noise the house of lamentation generates daily.
Truly a dream come true for the avatar of sloth.
However, this spoiled little prick has demanded more than just pillows and a quiet environment this winter. He wanted you as his personal plushie and he lacked the courtesy to even ask. You found out about his unexpected request when he tugged on your sleeve, dragging you into his pillow fort and encasing you in a hug.
"Belphie?" You ask aloud, shifting to sit up before realizing his legs were holding you down. "Belphie, I have kitchen duty today. I'll come back later."
He didn't budge. The only response you got was a soft snore from him.
"Beeeelphie?" Your squirming causes him to grunt.
"Stop moving, will you? I'm trying to sleep." Belphie opens one eye, free hand rubbing the other. "I've been having trouble sleeping, so help me."
"You have? You seemed to sleep perfectly fine just a moment ago, Mr. Sleeping Beauty." You scoffed playfully, frostbitten fingertips roaming to his hair.
"That's because you're with me," Belphie huffs, rolling his eyes as if he were saying something so obvious that even Mammon knows. "Now, stay, will you?" He asks, but you don't seem to have much of a choice when he pulls you closer to bury his face into your chest. You sigh, realizing that you want nothing more than to give in to him now.
"Okay. I'll stay, Belphie," you play with his hair, twirling the ends around your finger and slowly soothing him to sleep.
"Thank you."
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204 notes · View notes
venerex · 1 year
Text
or something
pairing: joshua x f!reader
word count: 2.1k
contains: oral (f receiving), intercourse (protected)
a/n: this turned out to be much longer than i thought it would. just horny and in-love sex. it's been a while since i've written smut, so not entirely sure how readable this is. not proofread.
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“how tired are you, exactly?”
you smile at your boyfriend’s question, his smile clear in his voice. while it hasn’t exactly been a tiring day for either of you, you had decided to retire to bed relatively early, hoping to fix your messy sleep cycles. you can’t really blame joshua for asking the leading question, for you’ve spent the last few minutes pushing your hips against his, yearning for more contact.
and who can blame you? with your hectic and conflicting schedules, you and your boyfriend haven’t exactly been getting it on recently, and snuggling close to him under the blanket is a recipe for ideas getting to your head.
“not very”, you try to maintain your composure, but even you can hear the smile in your voice, “not too tired for what you have in mind”.
“oh?”, joshua’s hands coax you to turn around, his twinkling eyes meeting yours when you face him, “and how do you know what i have in mind?”
“well, babe”, you tease, adjusting your legs so you can grind against his very noticeable erection, “you’re not exactly subtle”.
joshua skips a response in favor of kissing you, grinding his erection against your crotch, softly groaning against your lips. one of his hands sneak under your shirt and trace a light path up your stomach, stopping to lightly touch the underside of your breast. you sigh when his fingers reach up to touch your nipple, and he pulls back to judge your reaction as your buds pebble under his touch. 
he gives in when you pull him closer for another kiss, easily moving so he’s hovering on top of you, one hand supporting his weight while the other pulls up your shirt to expose your breasts to the night air. both you and joshua like the room to be a little colder when you sleep, and the temperature stiffens your buds further, leading joshua to whisper out a curse, his dark eyes fixated on your breasts. 
a whine of his name from you seems to break the spell, and he looks up and gives you a disarming smile before bending down to kiss you softly, quickly moving to trail kisses down jaw and to your neck, before reaching your breasts. he gives you one quick look – and you think you catch a wink – before his lips cover your nipple, one of his hands coming up to cup your other breast. the contrast of your cold skin with his warm touch makes you shiver, and your hands wound up in his hair as his actions intensify, the groan that he lets out when you pull his hair only spur on your own moans.
it’s only when joshua looks down to your hips do you realize that you’ve been rocking them up, looking for some relief in your pulsing cunt. joshua makes his way down, kissing along your waist while pulling your pajamas and underwear down, tossing them to the edge of the bed once you’ve managed to kick them out (you think that they’re on the edge, anyway – at the moment, it really doesn’t matter).
given how hard he looks even through his pants, you think he might take a look and finger you to get you ready for his cock – but joshua seems to have other ideas, for he positions his face between your legs, parting your thighs and blowing into your cunt. the action makes you moan – loud – and your attempts to rock your hips up are stopped by joshua holding your thighs down.
“josh”, you whine, and you wonder if his answering grin is more endearing or annoying, “just fuck me, you can eat me out later”.
joshua pushes your knees up, his eyes taking in how the movement exposes more of your cunt. the thought makes you clench harder. 
“mm”, he responds, infuriatingly casual, while his thumbs reach in to part the folds of your cunt, exposing you to cold air, “i don’t think so, baby”.
you don’t get a chance to protest before he dives his, his tongue tracing up from your entrance to your clit before going back down, his hands holding your legs apart. 
you think you’re moaning loudly but you’re not quite sure. one thing that you and joshua had discovered quite early on was that you seem to lose all sense of reality when he ate you out – from how loud you were to exactly what he did when he was down there. you weren’t really into being eaten out before you dated joshua – the whole thing seemed incredibly messy and texturally unsound – but joshua had made it work, somehow. and you always moaned for him – really, really loud.
one of joshua’s finger touches your clit and you jolt, the unforgiving touch on your sensitive bud making you almost squeal. his hand rubs your thigh soothingly while you get used to the sensation, his tongue tracing your entrance while his finger starts rubbing circles on your clit. 
you’re not sure how long it lasts – a few seconds or a few minutes or even a few hours – joshua’s flicking your entrance while his finger rubs your clit, his hand holding up your thigh while you moan incoherently. you think you whine his name when you come, your hands fisting the sheets by your side as your head digs into the pillow, your cunt pulsing around nothing as you let go.
“josh”, you whisper, voice hoarse, needing to feel something inside you, “please – please – “
“shh”, he murmurs, moving up to hover over you, your slick shining on his chin, “i’ve got you, okay?”, his finger circles your entrance before pushing in, finding no resistance due to you previous orgasm. he pulls his finger back and pushes two back in, curling them up the way you like, hitting the sensitive spot inside you.
“yeah, like that?”, his whispers, eyes intently taking in your writhing, “shh, it’s okay, take it”, he pushes in another finger, his voice soothing you while you let out whimper about how full you feel. 
“still want me to fuck you, baby?”
“yeah, fuck”, you lift your head up to press your lips on his, tasting yourself, “please”.
joshua pulls away at that, chuckling out a “just a minute, pretty girl” while you whine in protest. he takes off his shirt in quick movements, and you prop yourself on your elbows to watch the show, managing to let out a weak whistle when he pushes down his pants and his erection springs free. 
he swipes his shirt on his face before discarding his clothes on top of yours, before moving to hover over you again, his warmth providing a gentle relief from the winter chill. your hands trace down his chest to his waist to his cock, your fingers wrapping around his erection while his lips find yours, his low groans making you tighten your hold. 
“baby, baby”, he pulls back, gently pushing your hands away and smiling at your resulting pout, “it’s been too long, i won’t last if you do that”.
“then don’t”, you reach out your hands to pull him back, but he gets off the bed, escaping your attempts, “it’s okay”.
“nope”, he pulls out a condom from the nightstand, “i’m coming in that cunt, i’ve missed it too much”.
your resulting giggle is cut off when joshua brings the condom near his mouth to tear it open, his knowing eyes taking in your reaction as his teeth bite down on the corner of the foil packet, slowly tearing it apart. the soft glow from the nightlight brings out the twinkle in his eyes, bouncing off his cheeks as he smiles at you – carefree and wide, enamoring and enamored. 
“you should stop looking at me like that, joshie”, you murmur quietly, unable to disturb the tender moment, “i might think you’re in love with me or something”.
joshua stays silent apart from a chuckle, rolling on the condom before crawling over you, his lips hovering over yours as his cock brushes over your cunt.
“i love you”, he whispers, simple and sweet, and your heart still aches at those familiar words, “so fucking much”.
he pushes in his cock before you can respond, only pausing long enough to make sure you’re ready. your groans mingle when his cock is fully inside you, his lips peppering kisses over your jaw as you get used to the stretch. 
“love you too”, you whisper, your lips curving up as he lifts his head to look at you, a devastatingly tender look on his face, “so much, joshie”.
one of his hands reaches up to intertwine with yours, and he takes a moment to just look at you before brushing his lips on yours, his fingers tightening around yours. 
the two of you have a good relationship, you’d say. but with the lack of any real time spent together in the last few weeks, combined with your hectic professional life – you’d be lying if you’ve never wondered if things have changed with him, if his feelings for you were fizzling out. 
now, with his fingers wrapped around yours, his warmth engulfing you, his lips on yours and his heart beating so close to yours – it’s hard to imagine a reality where joshua doesn’t love you so completely, where the two of you aren’t so wholly in love with each other. 
joshua’s cock twitches inside you, and you’re brought back to reality. 
“move”, you whisper, bringing up your hand to brush his hair back, “i’m good”.
and he does, slowly pulling out his cock and pushing it back in, your mingled moans echoing in the room. he unwounds his hand from yours to trail it down your body, settling his fingers on your clit. you clench around him at the touch and his hips stutter as a result, a deep piercing groan falling off of his lips. 
it’s silent apart from the sound of his skin against yours, and your combined moans. you’re on the edge sooner than you’d like, his cock slowly fucking you while his finger insistently rubs your clit. 
“‘m gonna – “, you whimper, feeling so close to your orgasm that you can almost taste it.
“come”, joshua whispers, pushing his cock into you, “let it go, baby”.
and you do, clenching around his cock as your second orgasm rolls in, your hands digging into his shoulders as your moans echo in the room.
it’s silent for a few moments then, just your pants as you try to get back to your senses, while joshua tenderly kisses your jaw, his cock twitching inside you as he tries to stay still.
“josh”, you murmur, and he looks up with an attentive hum, “move”.
“you sure? i can – “
“wanna feel you come, joshie”, you clench around his cock, and he closes his eyes and swears, “fuck me”.
he moves then, slowly at first before increasing his pace, his face buried in your neck as his cock slams into you. you reach one hand to wound around his shoulders while the other holds his jaw, lifting his face up so you can bring his lips to yours. 
the groans against your lips intensify as his hips start to stutter, the loud sounds turning into sighs as he comes, his body slacking on top of you. 
you pepper his face with kisses as he recovers from his orgasm, your fingers running through his hair, low rumbles leaving his chest as a result.
after a few moments (or seconds, or minutes – time is a little uncertain when you’re high off of cock), he flops to your side, one leg and one arm on your body as his head rests on your chest. 
you can’t help but stare at him, really – the way the soft light plays with his face, the way his hair falls on his face (and everywhere else – it’s kind of a mess, an adorable one), and how his lips seem to unconsciously curve into a smile. 
they always do, every night he spends next to you.
“you should stop looking at me like that, you know”, he murmurs, voice so soft that it doesn’t break the quiet, and you can’t help but chuckle at the words, “i might think you’re in love with me”, his eyes flutter open, the warm twinkle in them making you fall in love, all over again, “or something”.
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goggles-mcgee · 2 years
Text
My love for Baker Steve is nothing new but I think up new au's like it's my job (I wish)
Steve opened up a cafe with Robin in Hawkins after all the Upside-down nonsense happened, Max sometimes had to use a cane on cold days, she had to wear glasses always now. Steve also had to wear glasses and he made it a point to take Max frame shopping so she could find frames that fit her and ones she actually wanted. Steve also has to wear a hearing aid in his left ear but some days he just prefers to not. Also his scars tend to hurt during the colder months and he has to bundle up, he makes sure the kids bundle up too. Steve and Robin bought a little house across from the new one that Joyce and Hopper bought. (Robin stays there when she comes back from college)
Steve had a lot of money that he had no idea about from his grandparents. Trusts and just money they left him after they both died. He only found out after the "earthquakes" and he had went through his parent's house to make sure nothing was too damaged. He ended up finding the papers about his trust funds and his inheritance from his grandparents while looking through and cleaning his father's study. Of course he went through the necessary steps to make sure the money went to him and setting up his own accounts. There was a bit of trouble with his parents but he had a lot of blackmail on them and they didn't want to go to court and ruin their image so things worked out for Steve.
Honestly he probably could have just lived off the money he had, still could, but he wanted to do something with himself. It was the kids who gave him the idea while they were packing the little things he had at his parents. He had baked them some treats for helping him move, just some simple raspberry jam drops, gingernut hedgehog slices, and neenish tarts. They had planned on ordering pizza for the day so the night before he baked the treats for everyone. They were all surprised that Steve could bake and the kids were absolutely furious that he had never baked for them before considering he baked "like a grandma, like seriously Steve these all taste like heaven!"
It was of course Dustin who first voiced the idea of Steve making money off his baking, from there it was all the kids shouting their agreements, even Mike. Everyone encouraged him, telling him he had the talent and well Steve didn't really know what else he could do and he didn't want to be stuck working minimum wage job to minimum wage job so he took the leap. And he was so happy he did.
Robin worked for him when she was back home from school, originally she had wanted to stay and just run the shop with Steve but he put his foot down. Yes they were codependent platonic soulmates but like hell was he going to let her stay in town with him when she had had plans to leave and go to school and discover herself. So they comprised with her going to school and when she was back she worked at the cafe/bakery and just helped him out however she could until she graduated. That was their deal, when she graduated, and if she still wanted to run the cafe/bakery with Steve then he would be all for it.
Steve adopted Max with the help of Dr Owen's after her mom kind of skipped town during the "earthquakes/serial killer" ordeal. She insists on helping out at the cafe when she can but Steve only let's her help out after she's finished with homework or if it's the weekend or a break. Same with all the other kiddos.
By the way he let the kids name the store.
They named it The AnTEAque Bakery & Cafe.
Steve loves it.
___________________
Eddie is a rockstar at this point. He and Wayne moved from Hawkins when he was a freshman because of a bullying incident that put Eddie in the hospital. Wayne didn't want his boy going back to that school with those boys who were barely given a slap on the wrist for what they had done, so with the help of a buddy they moved to Indianapolis. Not too far but far enough.
Eddie met his band mates there and well, he doesn't want to say it was easy going from there because it wasn't. They worked their asses off to get where they were now, it took a lot of sweat, a lot of fights, a lot of tears and some good old fashioned dumb luck where a music producer who was visiting family happened to be in the bar they were playing in.
Eddie was very grateful to be where he was. When he heard of the passing of Chrissy Cunningham he felt the need to visit Hawkins after Corroded Coffin came back from their recent tour that ended in their hometown Indianapolis. He remembered Chrissy from middle school, she had always been nice to him and had congratulated him on his solo guitar performance in the school talent show and he had of course complimented her dance which she had kindly corrected as a cheer routine. She would always wave to him in the hall and he remembered when he had been in the hospital his freshman year, she had sent him some flowers.
He figured he should return the favor and visit her grave and bring her some flowers. He vaguely remembered her saying during one class share time that her favorite color had been green and well they had been in Hawkins high and she had wanted to be a cheer leader so he planned on getting her a bouquet in the school colors.
It's during his visit in Hawkins that he gets sighted by some fans and has to run, usually he's all about interacting with fans but sometimes he just needs some alone time and he finds himself in this cozy little cafe. It has bookshelves along the walls with worn copies of books and a sign that said 'Take a Book, Leave a Book!' and a smaller shelf that honest to God had some board games. The tables didn't match each other and yet they all felt the same which was weird to say but Eddie likes it.
It was when he decided he would lay low here and get himself something to snack on that he saw him. His soulmate.
Okay not really but Eddie could dream and this guy looked like his dream man.
He had this ridiculously voluminous brown hair that looked so damn soft, the comfiest looking yellow sweater tucked into faded jeans beneath a pastel green apron and the most charming yet dorkiest pair of square glasses. He looked so tender and yet Eddie could see scars here and there and he found himself wanting to know where each and everyone came from just so he could kiss them. Maybe even lick them.
It took him an embarrassing amount of time to order and when he finally ate whatever he pointed to in the display case (lemon bar) he swore it was the best thing he had ever eaten. When he said as much he was gifted with the most precious sound of laughter from the man who thanked him and introduced himself as the owner Steve who made everything they sold.
Eddie was in love.
Eddie also realized this angel had absolutely no idea who he was.
He was even more in love.
He kept coming back to talk to Steve and to eat the heavenly baked treats that he would bring his band mates if he was feeling nice. It's when the kids are in the cafe after school having a study session that Eddie's cover is blown because, surprise, surprise, they are all big fans of Corroded Coffin. Steve was a little nervous after finding out but gets over it fast when he realized Eddie was still Eddie.
The kids are baffled at the fact the Party's Mom is being flirted with by a genuine Rockstar.
Eddie all the while is just readjusting his dreamlike with Steve to include all the man's kids.
Just a fluffy au with some sprinkled angst. Rockstar Eddie immediately smitten with Baker and Single Mother Steve.
Max basically having some major cool points in school because not only is her guardian Steve "The Hair" Harrington but also because her guardian owns the BEST bakery in town and if you mess with her you are banned for as long as she wants.
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sugumii · 1 year
Text
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Sanji X Reader: Comfort
Warnings: None. Very slight spoilers about Sanji’s past, very vague however. Slight angst to fluff. TW: My horrendous writing and plot.
It was a beautiful, peaceful day on the Sunny. The waves crashed gently against the ship, creating a pleasant rocking, and the sun shined brightly, allowing the crew to soak in its rays and bathe in its warmth. The last island the crew had went to was one with a much colder climate, so they were ecstatic to have warmer days ahead.
Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper ran around the ship’s deck, happily playing some sort of tag game with each-other. Usopp was complaining loudly, pointing an accusing finger at his captain and calling him out on his cheating. Chopper stood there dumbfounded and had no clue that Luffy was even cheating. Nami and Robin chatted casually on their sun chairs, soaking in the sun for a nice tan. Franky was working on minor repairs in the men’s bedroom below deck while Zoro was napping per usual in the training room. Finally, the blonde cook was in the kitchen, preparing snacks and refreshing beverages for the crew. Most specifically, the ladies. However, something was missing. Rather, someone.
Where were you?
Sanji happily spun out of the kitchen, practically twirling his way towards Nami and Robin, handing them the fruity concoctions he had made.
“NAMI-SWANN, ROBIN CHWAAAN FOR YOU MADAMEMOISELLES!” Sanji exclaimed excitedly with hearts in his eyes. He spun around their chairs happily, careful not to spill the remaining beverage he had on his tray.
Nami nodded her head in approval while Robin smiled and said a small “Thank you.” At this, the love cook blushed and happily exclaimed some compliments to the girls until he noticed the remaining drink on his tray. He paused briefly to scan the deck of the ship, searching for the remaining crewmate. “By the way, have you ladies seen Y/n-chwan around?”
Nami gently lowered her sunglasses for a brief moment, making direct eye contact with Sanji before pushing them back up again. “No, I haven’t seen her at all today actually.”
Sanji turned his attention towards Robin next as she spoke.
“I haven’t seen her either. I’m sorry, Sanji.”
At this, Sanji frowned and sighed, walking away from the girls and towards the lower deck of the ship, more specifically, your bedroom. He was a bit disheartened at not seeing you on deck today with Luffy. Usually you tended to join the trio in their shenanigans and challenge their captain to silly games. Not to mention, Sanji had been feeling a bit lonely lately, feelings of self doubt and hatred rising up. He didn’t necessarily mean to doubt your feelings, but whether or not he actually deserved them. He continued his search, bearing in mind he hadn’t seen you in any other rooms much before, so your bedroom was the best educated guess.
He arrived at your door in a matter of seconds before knocking gently. “Y/n-chwan? Are you in there?”
Silence.
He knocked again, knuckles lightly wrapping against the wooden door. “Y/n?”
Again, no reply.
He muttered a quick “Coming in…” and cautiously opened the door, peeking in. He wasn’t sure if you were dressing or asleep, so he wanted to be extra careful not to intrude. His eyes scanned the room before landing on your bed, making out a familiar frame. The sight caused his heart to skip a beat and an instant nose bleed.
There you were, sprawled almost naked across your bed, sheets messily sprawled across the lower half of your body while the top was only covered by a thin cover. Your hair was messily framing your face, causing you to look absolutely breathless. A small string of drool escaped from your lips as tiny snores could be heard from you. Your eyes were shut peacefully and your face looked calm and adorable. In his eyes, even while sleeping, his beloved Y/n looked like a God/Goddess.
Carefully, Sanji made his way to the side of your bed, placing down the long forgotten refreshment on top of your bedside and admiring your cute state. He took in every detail of your face, burning the picture into his mind to think about later. He had never seen you look so calm, it made his heart flutter at seeing his love sleeping so peacefully. It was moments like these he truly cherished, even if you weren’t conscious. He was happy to be by your side, nonetheless. Whether he deserved to be or not.
Sanji shook his head at the negative doubt and instead smiled and carefully reached out to remove a strand of hair out of your face, which caused you to stir. He froze, retracting his hand almost immediately before noticing you resuming your peaceful slumber. He exhaled a sigh of relief, thanking the gods that he didn’t wake his god/goddess and internally scolded himself for almost doing so. How could be be so careless and disturb you when you wanted to rest? He was debating exiting and leaving your drink for later until your eyes fluttered open, eyeing him lazily.
“Mmm… Sanji?” You mumbled sleepily, voice laced with tiredness.
He flinched, not having expected you to wake and made eye contact with you, smiling.
“Good morning Y/n-chwan! I made drinks, but you weren’t around so I came to see where you were.”
“Oh, is that so?” You said, noticing the pinkish purple drink on the side. “Thank you, Sanji. I’m grateful, but I’m still so sleepy.”
Sanji laughed, stroking your hair and humming softly. “But it’s time to wake up my love! You already almost missed breakfast and you know it isn’t easy saving a plate with Luffy around. I won’t allow you to miss two meals Y/n.”
You stayed silent, pondering his words as you let him play with your hair. It was a normal occurrence for him to do so as he was your partner, so you hummed happily and leaned into his touch.
“Sanji?”
“Yes, my dear?” Sanji replied, pausing temporarily and looking at you. Your eyes still held that tired and sleepy look.
“Can you lay down with me?”
“W-WHAAAT?!” Sanji blushed, eyes turning into hearts as his face burned a bright crimson. “A-anything for you, my love…” He fought the upcoming nosebleed coming and quickly slipped into the bed with you. Although his thoughts came back he did his best to push them to the back of his mind. He can’t do this here… not with his love near. His eyes remained glued to your face, scared to look elsewhere and disrespect you. He lay stiff, hesitant to get any closer to you due to the little clothing you had. You noticed this and chuckled.
“Sanji, you can lie closer to me you know. We’re dating, it’s okay my love.”
His breath stopped momentarily as his heart beat quickened. “Y/n-swan… if I get any closer to you I might not be able to take it.”
“Take what?” You questioned, confused as to what he meant. You turned to rest on your side, facing him as his face reddened even more. He began stuttering with sweat droplets running down his face. You eyed him lazily and hummed. “Well?”
“Its just that… is this really okay? As hard as it may be to believe, I’ve never been this close to anyone before.” His eyes held a look of shame and embarrassment as he continued. “I just don’t want to do something wrong and make you to hate me.” His voice cracked at the end almost as though he was going to cry. Would you find him less manly just for sharing his true sentiments with you? What if he has a nosebleed and scares you off? What if you hate him…?
“My love…” Your heart broke at hearing his voice crack. You scooted closer to him and hugged him, wrapping your arms around his back and pulling him close to your chest. He let out a shocked breath and blushed, hesitantly leaning into your touch. It’s not that he didn’t want it, he did, but he’s just so scared to be vulnerable around someone as amazing as you. What if you looked down on him for being so emotional over something so small? What if-
“Sanji.” You said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked up at your worried face and felt guilt for not paying attention and causing you to worry over him. “Sanji, listen to me please. I love you, nothing will ever change that. You don’t need to be afraid of getting close to me- I’m your s/o for crying out loud! I love you so much please don’t hesitate to come talk to me or get touchy with me.” You felt him lean closer into your chest and rest his cheek against it fully. His eyes closed as his cheeks had a soft pink hue. Even like this, he looked gorgeous. With blonde locks as golden as the sun and eyes as bright as gems. “I love you.” You said again, reaffirming your love for him.
He smiled, finally returning your embrace and wrapping his arms around your waist. He snuggled into your chest and rested his head there. He was so lucky to have someone as amazing as you in his life. God, just what did he do to deserve you? In all his life, people treating him terribly and pushed him away constantly. Only few such as his mother and sister actually caring for him, besides the crew and you. It felt almost magical to him, to have that someone who genuinely wanted him. His touch. His heart. His gaze. His love. His everything.
With that, he leaned his head up to meet your gaze and slowly closed the distance. His eyes locking on your plump lips as you do the same. He kissed you, slowly and passionately. He poured all his love and being into this single kiss. All his appreciation, his contentment, and his love for you.
And everything he wanted to convey to you, every emotion he poured into this kiss, you felt. You felt every ounce of it and returned the passion.
Finally, he pulled back and kissed your lips one last time, then your cheeks, nose, forehead, and lastly your lips once more. You blushed as he did this, now becoming much more awake. Any sleepiness you had entirely leaving. Sanji smiled at you and finally grabbed your hand, placing another gentle kiss on your knuckles.
“Now my love, it’s time to get up, hm? I want you to try the drink I made for you. I made it with the fruits you love!”
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