#I don’t know if I actually said anything here but have an insight into my brain I guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

s-4pphics · 9 months

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dial. 4 (e.w.)

wc;cw: 5.5K, fratadjacent!ellie, all ocs r black coded<3, angst, SMUT MDNI!!!!!, finger sucking!!!, voyeurism, dirty talk, lil assplay, squirting, spit, a lil breeding kink, sextape, masturbation, more porn mentions, bussing untouched, weed, dubcon bc alcohol, pov switches bc im experimenting :p

You returned to campus surprisingly high-spirited.

You were arriving to class fifteen minutes early, color-coding your notes, smiling and laughing with your friends even more than you used to before shit hit the fan! It scared the shit out of all of them since the last time they saw you, snot was coming out of your nose while you sobbed your eyes out.

Dina knocked on you and Niah’s front door the night before class with tears in her eyes, whimpering out about how terrible she felt and how she should’ve tried harder to steer you away from her best friend. Nothing was her fault; She did what anyone would, and you ignored it. She slept in your arms that night.

When you joyfully volunteered to pay for you and Niah’s fancy dinner upon returning to campus, she grilled you, demanding to know where this change of heart came from. As if you weren’t screaming about how much you hated these hoes on FaceTime a couple of weeks ago. All you could do is shrug and laugh some more, confirming that everything would be fine. She seemed a bit skeptical when she peered at you over her glass of wine.

Niah even volunteered to be angry with you. I’ll still beat her ass! I don’t care if you’re feeling better; I’m not! But you didn’t even want that. You developed a crush on somebody that’s a bad person, who just so happened to have amazing dick! Shit happens, and you’re over it. Sort of.

You still have something that you need to take care of before you close this chapter of your college career. And there’s only one person who’d be willing to help you out!

“… You want me to what.”

Your feet tapped nervously on Abby’s hardwood floor as she gawked at you, her body lax on her couch as smoke left her mouth in a large, pale cloud.

After Ellie exposed her and Abby’s history, you decided to pry. Abby seemed a bit confused at your eagerness to know about their relationship, but she provided some insight. They’re apparently not as close as you thought: they’ve been screwing on and off since freshman year after Abby’s partner cheated on her with someone dressed in a panda costume. What the fuck.

Abby is actually Riley’s best friend, who’s also Ellie and Dina’s really good friend whose also friends with someone named Kayla and your brain is fucking fried and you’re not even high! You don’t know any of these people!

Since when did snooping become this fucking confusing!

Your hands fiddled nervously, “Um… well, I mean— “

“Listen,” she snickered. “You seem nice, like really fuckin’ nice, but I dunno about this. Ellie’n I aren’t… best friends or anything but—”

“I know it sounds fucking crazy! I know!” Your arms flailed, “This is really outta character for me, but… she…”

Tears immediately jerked in your eyes as you recalled Ellie’s harsh words. This is the first time you’ve cried since you’ve been back, “She really hurt my fucking feelings. Don’t tell anyone I told you that, by the way! I just wanna…”

“Use me to get her back?” Abby concluded, leaning over to ash her joint.

You pouted, “… You make it sound so awful— “

“Well, I mean,” she snorted, offering you the remainder of the joint. You took it gratefully.

You spoke around your toke, “I dunno what else to do. I don’t know anything about her. The only time I saw her slightly out of character was at the fucking party!”

Abby hummed as she listened when you exhaled. She didn’t seem… entirely off put by your suggestion, but she hasn’t said much this entire conversation. She probably thought you came here for another reason based on her appearance. Ellie and Abby were surprisingly alike. They loved themselves some fucking grey sweatpants!

Moments of silence passed as she stared at the floor with her lip between her teeth, and you knew it was over. She was thinking of a way to kick you out politely. Not only was your one chance at karma destroyed, but you might’ve cost yourself a potential friendship with Abby! You’re bound to be walking out of here without the dignity you attempted to salvage in the next five seconds. Is it hot in here or is the bud getting to you quicker than expected—

“Run the plan by me one more time?”

You looked up at her, meeting the mischievous glint in her eyes. You choked on your last puff of the blunt and your brows raised in shock. Her index finger tapped on the back of the couch while you went through the run-down for the weekend.

She still hasn't said anything after your second explanation, and your body flushed hot in mortification. You threw in the towel with a heavy sigh.

“Abby, I’m sorry,” you palmed your forehead, “I shouldn’t have thrown this on you. Apparently, I’m not good with strangers, either!”

You tried to mask your incoming breakdown with an awkward chuckle as you stood to leave, “Um… yeah. I’m sorry— “

“Alright.”

Your heart jerked in your chest.

“I’ll do it.”

“R-Really?”

“Mhm. Ellie never discounted when I picked up, anyway,” she spoke around her bite of a peach ring.

You leaped from the longue chair to the couch, squealing out thank you’s and throwing your arms around her neck. You felt her hand squeeze the plush on your hip, and you shuddered above her.

She grinned like a Cheshire and offered you her pinky.

“Our little secret?”

You smiled like a fox and laced yours with hers.

You don’t know when or how your balls dropped, but they were dangling and fucking huge.

Did you purposefully wear your Sunday best to the Starbucks that Ellie works at? Yes! Were your titties freezing on the way over here from the cut in your sweater dress? Abso—fucking—lutely! You received so many compliments from your peers during your sociology course, though!

Your heeled boots clanked on the tile with every step you took in the fast-paced line. You hoped Ellie could see you from the register!

It only took two minutes for you to be standing in front of the service counter, finally face-to-face with the first person you’ve ever plotted on.

“Morning…” you gazed down at her nametag, “Ellie.”

“… Mornin’,” Her eyes shifted, “Chai latte, extra mi—? “

You ignored the fluttering of your heart as she recited your order.

“Actually,” your tone was honey-sweet and your smile stretched across your cheeks, “I’d like a Java Chip Frap. Extra chocolate syrup… aaand…”

You pretended to study the menu board behind her, “A pack of Madeleines!”

She swallowed at the mention of her favorite munchie. You recall catching glimpses of her sneaking some into her pocket before her shift ended every other day.

She cleared her throat and stared at the screen in front of her, “Anything else?”

“No, that’s all!”

You scanned your student card while she wrote your name on your cup. You threw the most darling, pageant-ready have an amazing day, Ellie you could muster over your shoulder. You didn’t bother to wait for her reply before strolling to the pick-up line with a newfound pep in your step.

That was the best cold drink you’ve ever had!

Saturday came like a freight train. Today was the day.

Today was the fucking day!

You were absolutely terrified; You woke up with anxiety pooled in your gut, your mind racing with hundreds of questions.

What if something bad happens and all this plotting was for naught? What if Abby doesn’t show tonight? What if Ellie chose to just not attend the soccer house party for once? All this pent-up aggression inside you would never get released.

You rolled your black back seam stockings while Niah curled her hair.

“Is there a reason we're doing all this extra shit for a stingy party?” Niah asked as she removed her elastic band.

The second you returned home from Starbucks, you dragged Niah from her bed and into the mall. This would count as your monthly splurge (auntie slid you a few extra coins)! It was vital that you looked as sexy as possible, even if it meant putting a dent in your allowance.

“Can I not do the most for once?” Your brow arched, twiddling your fingers like an evil villain.

“You always do the fucking most,” Niah stared blankly as she curled her ends. You giggled and skipped over to where she sat at her desk.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” You cheesed.

She rolled her eyes, “Get out my face with that gay shit, bruh— “

“I wanna kiss!”

“I dunno why you’re so excited. You know damn well that girl is gonna be there.”

Your smile widened. She looked up at your silence with a glare, her sharp liner slicing through you as she studied your face.

“Did y’all fucking make up?”

“Not at all,” you hummed.

She didn’t let up, her eyes squinting at you before they doubled in size.

“Oh my god…”

“What.”

“YOU’RE FUCKING SOMEBODY ELSE!” She sprung out of her desk seat, almost dropping her curling iron. “No wonder you’ve been acting so fucking weird— “

“What’s weird about being happ— “

She squealed in excitement, “Shut up! Who is it! Who’s tearing them organs up— “

“NIAH! Nobody’s tearing anythi— “

“CALL FROM: ABBY SMILING FACE WITH HEARTS SMILING FACE— “

Siri, followed by your ringtone, blared through your speaker.

Niah slowly peered over at your desk before looking back at you.

“… And who the fuck is Abby?”

By the look in her eye, she must’ve already known.

Oh fuck.

“U-Uh— “

Niah sprinted towards your desk before you could stop her, snatching your device and answering despite your anxious protests and grabs for it.

“Yes, hello. Are you smashing my— “

“NIAH! STOP!” You were able to wrangle your phone out of Niah’s grasp, speaking over her shouts of just two whores fornicating!

You could hear Abby snickering, “So much for a secret.”

“I’m sorry! I can't beat her intuition. Or Siri!”

“You’re cute,” Her voice was like butter, “Just checkin’ to see if we’re still on.”

Whores! Whores, I tell you! Boutta sweat my wig off! Niah hollered, finally resigning and leaning against your desk.

“Yeah, we are. Unless you don’t wanna— “

“Shut it. I want to.”

A shudder wracked through you at the drawl of her tone. Niah shook her head, and you bucked at her with a threatening stare.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon?”

“See you soon.”

The two of you gently farewelled and hung up. You turned to see Niah shamefully shaking her head at you.

“I’ve seen a lot of shit in my lifetime,” she started, “I’ve never, in all my years, seen anyone fuck their side piece’s side piece.”

… Were you really the only one who didn’t know that Ellie and Abby canoodled?

Your eyes rolled, “You’re so fucking dramatic.”

She reached behind her and grabbed two nips of 1800, tossing one in your direction, almost cracking you in the face with the plastic bottle.

“You’re gonna need that shit. Harlot.”

The soccer house was on one; They knew how to fucking throw a not-Christmas party!

You prayed with every fiber of your drunk being that the feds wouldn’t show up as you threw it back on Niah as Dina grabbed your titties. Tequila’s the devil and coaxes sluttery!

Drake always sounds more talented when you’re fucked up. Good on him!

Eyes were burning through your body and you showed out for them.

Until you felt your phone vibrate in your fucking bra you can’t have shit in this house! —

You irritatingly pulled it out of your bra, leaning on Dina’s shoulder to read your message from… Abby, oh fuck fuck fuck—

You smirked and searched the dark room for your new pretty friend. A moan almost left your throat when you saw her standing by the counter packed with liquor… in a muscle tee that read DO MILFS, NOT DRUGS. And a lollipop stick in her mouth.

Your brows furrowed in confusion when you locked eyes with Abby. She nodded behind you with a grin.

You peered over your shoulder and instantly regretted it.

Ellie was standing against the wall in a flannel and beanie, yet another girl pressed up against her while she smoked. And stared at you. Stared hard at you. Were those the eyes you felt seconds ago? Pride exploded in your chest at the thought.

… But how long has she fucking been standing there, and why didn’t you fucking notice? You’re never touching Tequila again!

You shot another text to Abby before shutting your phone off, watching her squeeze through the crowd to get over to your little group.

“Okay, baby?” Dina shouted in your ear over the music as she rubbed your back. You nodded, keeping your eyes on the blonde girl.

Abby popped up behind Dina, tapping her shoulder to greet the girl that was propping you up. Abby whispered something to her, and Dina’s grip loosened around your waist. You smiled when Abby presented in front of you, throwing your arms around her neck to keep yourself steady.

You barely heard Niah’s shouts of whore alert before Abby leaned down to connect your lips. The shots she had mixed with her cherry-flavored chapstick and apple lollipop as her mouth caressed yours, calls of oh shit from partygoers around you drowning your head. The attention made you kiss her deeper, your tongue easing into her mouth as people hooted around you.

Abby’s strong arms wrapped around your waist to hold you to her strong chest, her sneaky hands crawling down to grab your ass through your dress. You moaned into the kiss, lacing your fingers through her curled locks.

She tightened her hold on your hips and spun you, a thin line of drool connecting your lips before your back met her chest. You held onto a shocked Dina’s hips while you threw it on Abby, your back arched while she thrusted into your ass.

Niah, ever the sweetheart, slapped it encouragingly, your hips pushing further onto Abby until she grabbed your shoulder and hauled you back up, her large arm enclosing around your throat. You felt her messily kissing your neck and up your ear, and your eyes fluttered open.

Don’tlookatEllieDon’tlookatEllieDon’tlookatEllie—

You did everything in your power to ignore her harsh stare, pulling Niah’s hips back on yours, exposing more space on your neck for Abby to suck, anything anything anything! Don’t fucking look at her!

“Ready?” Abby shouted in your ear.

Thank god for Abby; You were this close to looking at her.

You nodded, and she whisked you upstairs after you blew your friends' kisses.

Why the fuck was Ellie fuming in this dark corner?

Not only did you blow the fuck out of her high, but you decided to do it with someone she considered a… she doesn’t fucking know. Someone close enough for it to feel like a betrayal!

And you looked so fucking sexy in the act.

The person chewing on her neck must think that the squirms she’s trying to cover are because of them. They weren’t, not when you’re around dancing like money is getting thrown all over you.

How did you manage to get her so fucking horny with absolutely no interaction? You looked at her once since you’ve arrived. She could bet every cent in her bank account that you’re a witch! The sluttiest, sex-obsessed witch with good pussy. Not to mention, you’re so fucking sweet.

Well, you used to be.

Ellie’s never seen this wild side of you. You’re always structured and organized and sweet like fucking honey. Somebody will get a cavity if they get too close to you. She can attest.

All she could do was watch you and Abby trek upstairs with interlocked hands, something nasty stabbing in her gut at the sight. She knows she’s a hypocrite. A disgusting, vile hypocrite with the audacity to feel negatively about you seeing someone else. She’s fucked up and she’s horny and she wants you. Fuck, you have such good pussy.

And the prettiest brown eyes. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck—

She hasn’t seen eyes that gorgeous since she fucking moved away for school. Since the last time she saw her.

Seconds, minutes, it felt like hours went by as she replayed every interaction the two of you have had since you met. Sex, sex, sex, you trying to get closer, her getting upset at you trying, sex. More good— great sex. You're pulling the leash you have on her with your cunt, for fucks sake.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been standing off to the side, but the person that fucked up her neck disappeared. Probably took too long to fucking react because she’s too busy thinking about how tight your cunt chokes her dick.

What the fuck were you and Abby doing? Ellie knows she’s a fucking hypocrite.

She pulls her device out of her pocket to ease her stress, but her stomach plummets when she sees a message from Abby.

Ellie’s such a fucking, goddamn hypocrite.

She forces herself through the crowd and scurries up the stairs like the floors on fire, ducking and dodging drunk students that were in her path until she stood at the top of the steps.

She instantly hears you over the booming bass. A choked scoff leaves her before anything, your pleased cries ringing through her eardrums like a church bell, and she almost loses it in the middle of the hallway. She’s getting so wet and your moans are getting higher in pitch and she knows you're about to cum. Why’s she out of breath and pissed and drenched to hell?

The door’s right there.

She takes a couple steps until she’s facing it, her hand resting on the knob. You always asked her to keep all entries open when she fucked you outside. You’re just as gross as she is.

One twist and it’s over.

She’s such a fucking hypocrite.

Whoever owns this bed is going to need a new mattress. You’ve never been this wet in your life.

Is it gross that staring into Ellie’s shocked, glossy eyes are making your pussy squeeze down on Abby’s dick? Even after all the bullshit she’s done, she still makes you drip like a faucet. Shame on you and your cunt.

S—it down, you whimpered, and Abby chuckled.

Abby’s harsh thrusts slowed when you cracked out your command, a harsh slap landing on your ass, and the arch in your back deepened. Ellie exhaled a harsh breath and shut the door behind her, her body falling against the wood due to her wobbling legs. The more you inspected her bruised chest, the angrier you became. Who was she trying to fuck now? A nasty smile grew on your face at the sight of her in complete disbelief.

Abby pulled out until just the tip was inside before slamming her entire length back into you, your jaw slackening when an oh, fuck escape you and Ellie. You hardly recognized your own voice.

Her eyes left yours and stared behind you, your core squeezing when her fists clenched at her sides and eyes darkened.

S-Sit down. Be a good girl’n sit d-down, you whimpered, your walls squeezing on the silicone.

She looked down at you again, her cheeks tinting a darker shade of red whenever you addressed her. Your glare hardened when she didn’t listen, and her body cowered, eyes sparkling before pushing herself off the wall and onto the small lounge chair at the front of the room so she was facing you.

Ellie’s hands were fiddling in her lap as she took the scene of you: liner and glitter running down your cheeks in a heap of tears, bruised neck and tits pressed against her friend’s ruffled sheets, your ass bruised to hell. She could see your slick and cum glistening on Abby’s cock under the dim lamp of the room. Her boxers were a mess.

Such a sexy little pornstar, isn’t she, El?

Ellie wanted to cry when you and Abby laughed lightly. This is the first time she’s been speechless when it came to anything related to fucking. She loves sex, but she’s always, always, in control no matter what. The lack of ability she had over the situation made her throat dry and clit throb. She’d never admit it, though.

W-Wanted t’make me a pornstar so bad? You spat shakily. You’re gonna sit there’n record Abby f-fucking me.

Ellie’s breathing increased at the demand. You always looked so fucking sexy on camera. A natural vixen, you are. She’s never been this wet. Fuck, fuck, please—

Take your phone out, El, Abby encouraged with a sly smirk, You know how wet this pussy gets on cam.

Ellie’s body didn’t feel like hers, like her soul was floating above her physical form. She heard the soft platplatplat of your ass clapping on Abby’s hips before she realized the two of you were fucking again, your loud cries chiming through the spacious area. Your pussy sounded so fucking wet.

Atta fuckin’ girl, tha’s my girl, c’mon, Abby groaned while she watched your cunt milk her dick. She would give anything to cum in you. See her cum flow out of you like water. Breed you fucking full.

She couldn’t take her eyes away from your ass. The movement of it was hypnotizing and it was bruising beautifully. She almost retrieved her own phone from her jean pocket to take a picture for herself. Almost.

Ellie’s arm moved on autopilot, her fingers digging in her pocket for her device. You caught a glimpse of the flashlight she accidentally turned on in your haze, and smiled, fucking back onto Abby to meet her thrusts. You kept your eyes on Ellie as she held her phone up, the quiet blip indicating that she was recording.

Your eyes flickered from Ellie’s heaving chest to the two small lenses in the corner of her phone, your back arching deeper so that she could get a good look at your ass rippling from each thrust. Your nails dug into the duvet every time Abby brushed against your cervix, her dick plunging into your squishy cunt.

S-She’s fucking me s’good, Ellie, fuuuck—

Your babbles were sloppy and nearly intelligible, mumbled together in a fast, wet muss of your tongue. You couldn’t think about anything except Abby’s dick and Ellie’s fucking camera. You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back every time your eyes passed over the lens. Ellie was right; Maybe you were meant for porn.

Ellie… ugh, shit! C’merecomehere—

Ellie looked like a newborn deer trying to walk when she got up and stood directly in front of your sweaty, fucked out form. Her camera was right in front of your face, and a hazy, drooly smile made its way onto your face. You could feel your impending orgasm sizzling all the way down to your toes.

M’gonna squirt, fuck, thinkI’mgonnasquirt!—

Both girls moaned aloud at your squealed warning, Ellie’s thighs squeezing right in front of your face. Her hands were shaking around her phone and… her fucking hands are so sexy—

Your pussy was in agreement; The squelching sounds of your wet walls got louder with your moans, your screams flying off the walls with Abby’s, your eyes glued on Ellie’s long fucking fingers and the veins in her hands—

Your tongue lolled out of your mouth and licked over all four of the digits clenched over her device. She squealed in shock but you didn’t care, pulling away with your tongue out like a dog, eyes begging for her to fuck your throat with them.

Ellie held her phone with her dominant hand and dragged two wet fingers over the flat of your tongue, angling her phone so that the way your throat closed around them was captured. Ellie was whimpering to herself and desperate to fucking cum. Was she crazy or was she about to nut from you gagging and drooling all over your hand? She’s crazy; She has to be fucking crazy—

Her walls were squeezing so hard in her jeans; She might actually fucking cum. She’s a goner, fuck fuck fuck—

Milk her fingers like you're milking this dick, baby, that’s it, Abby moaned out before releasing a line of drool on your ass and rubbing it in with her thumb. You choked around Ellie’s thrusting fingers, eyes crossing in your head while your pussy cried. And squeezed so hard, Abby almost couldn’t move. You felt your juices leave you in a light spray as Abby announced her orgasm, squealing about how swollen you’re going to be with her cum. You’re cumming, you’re cumming so fucking hard—

Your head dropped onto the edge of the mattress, Ellie’s spit coated fingers ripping from your mouth and you screamed, your cum drenching the bed and Abby’s dick and waist, your clit jumping with every pulse of your walls. You couldn’t keep yourself upright any longer, falling completely flat onto the bed as your body thrashed from pleasure you could hardly bear. Abby’s body laid flat on top of yours so she could force her dick deeper into you, fuck more cum out of you and milk the last bit of her orgasm.

You sobbed from the intensity, but Abby didn’t stop until your hand flew back to push her off you. She planted one wet kiss on the back of your neck before gently pulling out. Your thighs were still shaking and your clit was twitchy, but you felt so good.

And so much better.

It took a minute for your teary eyes to peel open. Ellie was crouched down on the floor with her knees to her chest, heavy breaths and light whines leaving her mouth while her lashes fluttered.

Abby chuckled behind you, landing one playful smack on your ass before leaning over your form to whisper in your ear.

Think she came when you did, She snickered.

A breathy giggle left you. Ellie couldn’t meet your eyes, hers glued to the hardwood.

Your auntie was right; Maybe revenge was the way to go.

You shut the bathroom door and made your way back to the bedroom, where a dazed Ellie was sitting on the bed.

Abby left with a see you soon and a kiss on the cheek, leaving you and Ellie alone to suffocate in silence. She looked lost in thought as her finger tapped on her thigh, her teeth digging into the dry skin of her lip. You breathed heavily before walking to tower over her.

“I want you to send me the video,” you spoke stoically, nothing bothering to wait for her to speak.

She nervously met your eyes for the first time since you orgasmed, eyes glossy like a puppy getting scolded, before grabbing her phone from where she tossed it on the bed. She shakily tapped a few times before your device vibrated in your hand.

“Now delete it. Delete everything. Every video, every Snap. All of it,” your voice was sharper than a blade.

You loomed over her as she scrolled through all of your memories together, your cheeks warming at the sound of your moans and cries of her name, watching closely as she trashed all the footage of the two of you fucking since you met.

Whenever you were confident that no evidence remained, you ensured she would never hit your line again.��

“Block me, Ellie. On everything.”

She exhaled shakily before doing so on every platform and line of communication. You spun on your heel when she finished without another word, heart heavy, leaving the room and shutting the door behind you to retreat back to the lively environment downstairs.

You deleted Ellie’s contact information when you reached the bottom of the steps.

Ellie was absolutely distraught. And the horniest she’s ever been in her fucking life.

She refused to move from her spot on the bed until a couple shoved into her friend’s room, eager to rip each other’s clothes off. She had too little and enough sex for tonight. She cringed when she got up and felt her cum squishing in her boxers.

… She can’t believe she busted from just your tongue on her hand like a fucking loser.

She didn’t bother to wait for Jesse and the rest of the soccer team like normal, opting to walk home and regain some peace of mind. The cold shocked her body when she stepped outside of the packed house, the melting ice crunching under her sneakers.

Much to her dismay, she thought about you the entire stroll. Her mind raced, flooding with images of you getting absolutely destroyed by Abby. And looking up at her while you sucked the life out of her fingers. And your sparkly fucking eyes whenever you laughed at something stupid and unfunny she said.

She fucked up, she fucked up so bad.

Anxiety was stirring in her gut all the way up to her and Jesse’s apartment.

Ellie hoped you wouldn’t be too mad at her when everyone returned to campus, but she felt vicious, unfiltered rage radiating off your body when you loomed over her. The disappointment she was so used to seeing after turning you down was replaced by disdain, and it made bile rise in her throat. Your composure used to impress her, but now she was terrified of it.

You actually fucking hated her.

Dina mentioned how she might’ve awakened something that you tried to keep hidden, but she didn’t care enough to listen.

Ellie didn’t intend to hurt your feelings, but she did want to keep you at a distance. You were caught in a crossfire you never needed to be in, and she didn’t do enough to stop you from getting hit.

She sees so much of her past in you. The moments of eagerness and joy and elation she felt in her younger years, it all crashed into her the second she stared into your eyes for too long. She almost saw roses blooming in them. She grew to despise your optimism very quickly.

Ellie shoved her key so hard into their door she thought she bent it, ripping it open and slamming it shut. All her weight fell against the wall and she sighed. Her head was pounding and so was her clit.

You’re so fucking hot. What the fuck.

Her hands ran down her face in exasperation before she kicked her shoes off, unbuttoning and removing her jeans and soaked boxers.

She slid down the door and squatted, her fingers instantly finding her twitching clit. She sighed at the sensation before dipping her digits lower, pushing past her entrance and collecting her juices to bring back to her rosy bud. She alternated between rubbing and fucking into herself, moaning into the dark space of the living room.

She couldn’t unsee… you. Everything about you. Your scars, the dark hairs of your furrowed brows, your plump, wet lips slobbering all the way down her wrists. The deeper she reached, the hotter she became, her sweaty bangs clinging to her forehead.

A-Abby, fuck me h-harder, please?

Am I a good girl? M’your good girl?

M’so wet, oh god!

You fuck me t-the best! Yeah, yes yeah—

Your voice was the only thing ringing through her empty brain. Anyone would’ve been embarrassed, disgusted, traumatized by what you and Abby did. The two of you shattered her completely, breaking down every barrier she built for herself for so long. Distance was no longer her priority; She wanted to be in between the two of you so fucking bad.

She was already so close, so close to tipping over, to wetting her fucking floor, all because of you. Fuck, she fucked up; Was it too late to tell her you were the best— one of the best she’s ever had? She has to protect her pride somehow, even if it’s pointless.

She dug into her cunt harder, grinding her fingers into the spot that made her see stars, sent her to fucking heaven. Your name left her mouth in an almost manic cry, whimpering the syllables over and over again until she crashed, legs closing around her wrist when her pleasure shook her form. She shoved three unoccupied fingers into her mouth and swallowed around them, fucking her throat and her cunt at the same time, trying to replicate the feeling of your tongue on her again.

She almost cried when the sensation wasn’t the same. Nothing felt like your mouth, your tongue, and it sent a painful jolt in her heart.

She came down and finally allowed her tears to fall, barely having the strength to ride out the last bits of her pleasure before she slumped onto the floor. Sobs escaped her in choked gasps. She’s a fucking idiot to be crying over you. Over the little twinkles in your eyes whenever you’re excited.

Ellie’s a heartless, ungrateful hypocrite, and she ruined her billionth chance at redemption.

ellie got bitched LMMMFAOOOOO

this is not a love triangle!!! or is it

jk its not lol

taggie waggies love yall down :3 @dyk3ang3l @iced-metal @sawaagyapong @kittnii @mariefilms @villainousbear @pick-me-up-im-scared @dragonasflowercrown @elsmissingfingers @bugaboodarling @freakumfilm @robinismywifee @ohitsjordynn @womenofarcane @inf3ct3dd @nil-eena @kaispaws @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @yuckyfucky @machetegirl109 @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @liabadoobee @tfuuka @aouiaa @lastofvenus

teaser, one, two, three, five

#fratadjacent!ellie #works 𖧧࣪#ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams au #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x black!oc #black!oc #black!reader #the last of us #lesbian #abby anderson smut #Spotify

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i-try-to-write-stuff · 3 months

Text

Stolen Wife

Synopsis – Tommy Shelby is married to Grace but he becomes obsessed with Y/N, wife of Reuben Fitch, Tommy’s business partner in the U.S. who is unaware of his actual “business”

This blog supports Palestine. Zionists are not welcome here.

As soon as the papers were signed for new consignment delivery and the ink was dry on the paper, Tommy decided to throw a curveball, to get to know his elusive new business partner.

“Grace is throwing a party for some charity. She asked me to invite you and your wife.” Tommy said carelessly.

“Party…?” Reuben asked in confusion, he had never mixed business with pleasure or even family.

“Don’t you Americans have over the top exuberant parties?” Tommy taunted the former soldier.

“We do, but I don’t believe in getting my family involved with the people I do my business with…” Reuben tried to reject the offer as politely as he could.

But little did he know, Thomas Shelby was not going to give it up so easily.

“It is a charity ball for orphaned kids nothing dangerous, I’m sure your Mrs can handle one night with the Shelbys” Tommy cajoled.

“Mr. Shelby, I don’t mix my work with my personal life. It is better that way and I certainly do not involve my wife in anything related to this side of my business.” Rueben tried to argue his way out this predicament.

“It is not going to be anything illegal or even borderline illegal, I have promised Grace that I will do no shady dealings at the ball.” Tommy reiterated.

“I really don’t mix my business and personal life and I would like to keep it that way.” Rueben did not budge.

Tommy lit a cigarette, giving himself time to think of any other way of getting insight into Rueben’s life, any pressure point that can be exploited if needed. Tommy’s other attempts had been in vain; soldiers in Rueben’s rank had been tight-lipped about everything, something he admired about Rueben and his tightly reigned empire.

Tommy took out the invite from his drawer and handed it to Rueben as a last resort.

“Take this, will you, I don’t want Grace finding it here. I will tell her you are busy” Tommy added defeatedly.

Rueben pocketed the invite not wanting to further prolong the conversation with the king of Birmingham.

Ruben got up and held out his hand to shake Tommy’s to read his temperament. Tommy shook Rueben’s hand with mild annoyance, annoyance that he hadn’t been able to pierce the armor around Fitch and his gang.

Rueben gave Tommy his charming smile, he was relieved that Tommy dropped the subject. He was never going to let his two worlds mix. You were too precious for him to be tainted with what his not-so-legal life is filled with, the grotesque violence, the depravity, the drugs among other things.

Tommy decided that he needed to find another way to find any weak spot in Rueben’s Gang.

What he did not expect was for Grace to get Rueben to the ball.

When he saw Rueben at the ball, he was astonished…Apparently, Grace had run into the loving couple at the marketplace and somehow convinced Rueben’s wife to come to the ball. Tommy could not describe the feeling when he saw you for the first time…There you were looking glorious and innocent like a princess in a purple dress. He gulped visibly, he now understood why Rueben kept you away.

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sister-lucifer · 2 years

Note

Hello all well? I just read the new version of the fic "I can ride you until I feel better" from the sub version of the Obey Me boys, so I wanted to ask if you could write a version with the datables characters..

“Can I Ride You Until I Feel Better?” (part 3)

Read PART ONE and PART TWO

Diavolo, Barbatos*, Simeon, Solomon x Male Reader (separately)

Genre: NSFW

Content/Warnings: Dom/Top reader, mentions of riding, slightly OOC Simeon ig? depends on how you perceive him

Not fully proof read, let me know if you see any errors!

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out

Feed back is encouraged and appreciated:)

*Barbatos uses they/he pronouns

Diavolo

Diavolo’s day had consisted of nothing but work, work and more work

He was frustrated, tired, and his brain was fried from staring down at his papers from so long

He dropped down onto the couch next to you, resting his chin in his hands and letting out a long groan

“What’s up, Dia?” You asked, brushing away some stray hairs from his forehead

“I don’t think i’ve had a day that draining in a thousand years…”

“Oh, honey, c’mere…”

Diavolo laid down with his head in your lap, allowing you to stroke his head

He stripped off his jacket as well, discarding it on the door thoughtlessly

“Oh, my love,” Dia sighed, “I need a pick me up…”

“Anything in mind?” You asked. It was quite obvious that he was already thinking of something

Diavolo turned over to look up at you, somehow keeping a completely straight face as he asked:

“Can I ride you until I feel better?”

You were a bit taken aback, but Dia’s calm demeanor didn’t falter

He was serious, but not trying to be pushy

Of course you had to agree, and a grin quickly formed on his face

“Thank you, darling. Now sit back and sit still, I think we’re gonna be here a while…”

Barbatos

They may live to serve, but even Barbatos gets worn out from time to time

He may have more patience than most, but it’s still finite

They finally got a moment to themself at the end of a long day, and were happy to see you laying in their bed waiting for them

“Oh, hello, love.” He greeted you. It was short but sweet, although you could still see the tiredness in his eyes

“Hello, Barbs. You seem worn out. Wanna come lay down?”

“Yes, actually. That would be nice. I’m not sure why, but today was particularly trying.”

“I get it. Don’t worry, I’ll stay with you.”

Soon they had snuggles into bed next to, holding you to their chest and resting his chin on your head

You could feel the rise and fall of his chest begin to slow as he relaxed, but there was still an odd restless air about them

“You alright, Barbatos?”

“Yes, I think so…just, uh, not quite out of ‘work mode’ I suppose…”

“Well hey, you’re always doing things for other people. Why don’t you let me do something for you instead?”

Barbatos paused, looking down at you with an intrigued expression

“Really?”

“Yep. Anything you want Barbs, I’ll do it.”

“Anything…?”

You nodded in reply

Barbatos’ now borderline stoic face gave little to no insight on what they were thinking

But when they did finally speak, it wasn’t anything you were expecting

“If you really mean that, then…I think there is something I’d like.”

Suddenly he was above you, your back now flat on the mattress as you gazed up at him

“Would you be so kind as to let me—excuse my language—ride you until I feel better?”

Even in moments like these they were still insistent on being proper

It was endearing

And of course you just had to say yes

“I appreciate it, my dear. I’ll make sure you enjoy it as much as I do.”

Simeon

Ooooh booooy

Y’know how the other characters said you never wanna see Simeon angry?

You don’t

And he was pissed

Maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, or maybe it was some other mundane thing he couldn’t put his finger on

But something had made today extra difficult

All he wanted was to go home and get away from everybody but you

And even though that time eventually came, it felt like it had been an eternity since this morning

He didn’t even greet Lucifer when he passed

He just wanted to get to you

And when he did you were in for a wild ride (pun intended)

He knew that an angel shouldn’t be thinking or desiring such things, but in his fiery state it seemed like the only thing that could help

And it was rather easy to push the guilty thoughts away once he had his sights on you

He was on you the second he was in the door climbing into your lap without so much as a word

By the time you had said “hello” he was already fumbling with your pants

“W-Woah, Simeon—! Slow down, w-what are you—“

“Just let me have this human. I need you ride you until I feel better.”

You could practically feel the frustration radiating off of him, so you simply sat back and let him have his way.

“Let me make one thing clear to you: I don’t want a word about this in the morning, do you understand? Good. Now behave.”

Solomon

Solomon was generally cheery, but today was just not his day

He was struggling with his spells and couldn’t seem to get anything quite right

Each little mistake piled up into a mountain of frustration

Until eventually he simply couldn’t take it anymore

He somehow managed to make it to the end of the day, but was only hanging on by a thread

He was so very happy to see you in his room, sitting in his bed and waiting for him

“Oh, my love, I’m so happy to see you. You’re exactly what I need after such a terrible day.”

“Aw, well I’m glad I could help. Want to come lay down?”

“Mm…not exactly.”

You quirked a brow in confusion, watching as he sat down on the bed next to you

“I’ve had a terrible frustrating time today, and I need something to…blow off steam with.”

He pulled the covers off and straddled your waist, putting his hands on your chest and pushing you down onto your back

“I think I’d like to ride to until I feel better. Is that alright?”

You nodded wordlessly, watching as he stripped off his uniform jacket and then shirt

“Good. You’re always willing to help me out, aren’t you?”

#obey me smut #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #diavolo obey me #diavolo x reader #diavolo smut #obey me x male reader #barbatos obey me #barbatos smut #barbatos x reader #simeon x reader #simeon obey me #simeon smut #solomon obey me #solomon x reader #solomon smut

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mykoreanlove · 9 months

Text

sweet whispers

It was a dark and stormy night. The vivid lightning of thunder illuminated the darkness outside. Raindrops pattered against the glass windows heavily, but you didn’t notice. You were laying in your boyfriend’s arms sleeping. The relationship between Chan and you was still fresh, yet somehow you felt the utmost peace when you were with him.

He was observing you cautiously. Even though he was exhausted from all the shows he had done in the last couple of weeks, he did not want to shut his eyes and sleep. Instead, he watched you toss and turn, murmur in your sleep. Watching you slumber filled his heart with love and his mind with peace. He adored your beautiful features, even more exquisite now that you were asleep. Chan noticed you babbling franticly, too quietly for him to hear so he pulled you closer into his strong arms.

“What is it, baby?” he murmured while listening closely to your rambling. You did not know you were talking in your sleep. Nobody had ever mentioned that before, but again only a few ever got the chance to see you so vulnerable at all. Chan’s whole demeanor changed as he understood what you were saying. It ached his heart to hear about your gruesome fears. You had not mentioned those to him while conscious, maybe you had not been ready, yet? Not wanting to push you he decided to reassure you in your slumber first. If you were ready to talk about it while awake, he’d gladly repeat himself.

Another loud thunder disturbed the peace of the night which made him chuckle. “Baby girl”, he whispered, “I kinda got the feeling that your inner world resembles the outer world pretty much.” Chan placed a soft kiss on your temple, careful not to wake you. He held you firmly in his arms as he began talking to you.

“Y/N, I don’t want you to be afraid. Why are you afraid?” Another low chuckle left his lips. “Oh right, you’re not going to answer me right now. That’s okay. Maybe it’s better if you hear it like this for the first time. Y/N, baby girl, I am in love with you. I’ve been head over heels in love with you from the second I saw you. I never believed in love at first sight but here we are. I think you are amazing. Beautiful, smart, kind, funny, insightful, sexy” – he paused, eyeing you once more to check if you were still asleep – “creative, inspiring, strong… I could list a couple more, but I think you get the gist.” His broad smile slowly faded into deep concern.

“I don’t understand why you would ever think that I was going to leave you. You are such a catch. Don’t you think I should be the one worrying?” Still deep in sleep you grabbed a fistful of Chan’s shirt which made him pause again and look at you compassionately.

„I know you are still asleep but that kind of felt like you confirming what I said. Wait, should I be worried?” Chan laughed out loud while grabbing his forehead.

“Oh gosh, look at me. I wanted to take away your fears and now I am feeding mine. But in all seriousness, Y/N, you don’t have to worry about anything. I want you in my life. I want you by my side. I want to be with you – all the time actually. I am the happiest when I am with you. I love being with you. I understand that past experiences have fucked with your head and made you close off your heart, I get that. And I guess you’ll need time to process that and open up again, that’s okay, too. I am here for you. I will be here every single day and reassure you of my love, baby girl.”

By now you stopped talking and tossing altogether, laying peacefully in his arms dreaming away. Chan noticed this too and put another sweet kiss on your head. “It’s like you understood every word I said. Maybe you did? Can you grab my shirt again or something?” He waited cautiously but nothing happened. A broad smile formed again on his lips.

“Y/N, you are worthy of love. You are worthy of my love. I don’t think you’re good enough. You are more than enough. You are everything. Perfect, just the way you are. You don’t have to change a single thing. In fact, I love everything about you. Can you believe that? Can you trust me? Can you trust in love? Relationships are actually kind of beautiful if you think about it. I will be your best friend and you will be mine. And we’ll go through life together handling the ups and downs - smiling, crying, evolving, fucking. I can’t wait for everything that we’ll experience in the future. Please don’t ever be afraid of me leaving you. I am here to stay – forever… if you let me.”

Chan whispered the last part into your ear hoping that it would get right through to you. He did not know if you could drop your fears of abandonment just like that, but he would never give up. On you. Or your relationship. Ever.

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prince-kallisto · 3 months

Text

Dire Crowley’s Fragrance Analysis

I was completely caught my surprise when TWST dropped room fragrances for all the NRC characters as Valentine’s Day merch. Each character has their own unique fragrance, with the images of the characters used (with Yana Toboso) to craft each scent! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

Of course, I immediately went to Crowley- and I was immediately fascinated by this fragrance!! \(//∇//)\ 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛I’ve been seeing some confusion in regards to “fatty aldehydes,” and don’t worry- I’ll break down this fragrance as best as I can. Thank you to @overthattwilight and @the-hetchia-universe for your messages regarding this, you two really inspired me to delve deeper into this! Also @moonlightequin1 come eat your meal 👀👀👀

Disclaimer: I do not have a background in chemistry or perfumery. Any information here was gathered through research and personal accounts from perfumery enthusiasts. If anyone has a deeper insight or anything I need to be corrected on, please let me know!

Crowley having a “mysterious calm fragrance” is backed up by the scents used in this fragrance. Ray and I immediately thought of Diaval from the live-action Maleficent, who watched over and cared for Aurora in his raven form 👀 But I will go into more detail later- let’s go through each descriptor of this in excruciating detail! I warn you now that this analysis is extremely long, to a concerning degree, for a ROOM FRAGRANCE ANDJDJDJJSDKDJ but anyway:

Fatty Aldehyde

This descriptor is rather vague, isn’t it? Many people would have to search this up to even know what it means, and even then, the search results regarding the scent of fatty aldehyde vary GREATLY, from citrus to clean to waxy. The thing about fatty aldehyde is that it’s the label for a grouping for aldehydes with a certain carbonyl molecular composition: C8 to C13. Aldehyde’s that do NOT fall underneath the fatty range are often described as more “milky” or “rancid”, but those are completely different from the fatty aldehyde group.

Unfortunately, since the room fragrances are a liquid product and may contain alcohol in them, I believe that these cannot be shipped overseas from Aniplex themselves ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I hope a JP fan out there can provide a descriptor for this room fragrance!! Anyway, I say this because C8 to C13 each have their own unique fragrances, and Crowley’s could fall under any of these:

C8- Powerful, Fruity and naturally occurring in citrus oils. Suggestive of oranges and waxy orange peels

C9- Warm, floral (rose and jasmine), fresh and clean.

C10- Orange rind, lemons, sweet

C11- Naturally occurring in coriander (cilantro) oil, bitter and fresh. Said to be pleasant and reminiscent of citrus and rose

C12 Lauric- Lilacs, violets, and herbs

C13- Waxy, Fresh, soapy, clean, like a grapefruit peel

There are claims that C11 is the essential “aldehyric” scent. C10, C11, and C12 is iconic when grouped together because they were famously overdosed in Chanel’s No.5 when it was developed in 1921. Aldehydes had little usage in perfumes until the 1900s, and got so popular that the interest eventually died down in the 1990s. This is probably why that when I was reading personal accounts from people regarding this scent, people said it smelled nostalgic. Something pleasantly old fashioned, vintage, and classic- all words I’ve seen various people describe it as due to its heavy usage in vintage perfumes. It’s waxy scent is also said to smell like “snuffed-out candles,” which is interesting!

Due to the influence of No.5, perfumes with fatty aldehydes are often described to have a piercing “fizziness” in your nose akin to champagne bubbles when it is first inhaled. If a perfume smells “powdery,” or has that fizzy sensation, it’s likely due to aldehydes. Crowley’s fragrance says the fatty aldehyde and the flowers “spread out,” and aldehydes are often used for this diffusive effect. The experience is apparently valued so much more than the actual scent when aldehyde is out in perfumes! It is an abstract experience and sensation.

Using No. 5 as an example, I’ve seen people absolutely adore it or completely detest it because of its overdose of aldehyde. People who dislike say it’s a old lady perfume and the aldehyde stings their nose. But those who like it say it feels vintage and classy. Although it was an extremely popular perfume a century ago, nowadays it’s met with very mixed reviews.

Just like Crowley, no? 🤣🤣🤣 Most modern perfumes with fatty aldehyde now used C9 for a lighter floral and clean scent instead of the overpowering No.5, but I feel like Crowley would have the more vintage scent to him. He is not a man who is easy to describe- and even his scent alone seems to provide a sharp sensation that some love and others hate.

And yes, if you did think that aldehyde sounds like “formaldehyde,” aka the embalming fluid used to prevent the decomposition in dead bodies, it is indeed part of the aldehyde family! I just think it’s funny that with all the death symbolism at NRC, Crowley is the only character to be specifically mentioned to have a scent related to formaldehyde (don’t worry, perfume aldehyde smells far more pleasant than that! I have had the displeasure of smelling formaldehyde and trust that it is nothing like the perfumes 🤣 Formaldehyde is not used in perfumes/fragrances for so many reasons, I just thought this was a fun fact haha 🤣)

Characters who share this descriptor: None

White Flowers without Sweetness

Ough…I had a hard time for this one because of how vague this is. HOWEVER, several characters have “white flowers” listed in their fragrance profiles, but Crowley’s is the only one describes to be white flowers WITHOUT sweetness. It narrows down what this flower could possibly be a little bit! Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

But unfortunately, I am not an expert. The possibilities could be endless and I don’t feel confident despite scouring the internet for as long as I have today 🤣🤣 But I’ll headcanon it regardless!

Maybe the white flower being referenced is a lily, which is fitting for Crowley symbolically? This is NOT the lily of the valley, which is a more popular white floral in fragrances due to its clean and light scent (Grim has this scent), so it is very different from the Lily.

The lily has a soft, waxy, and sometimes spicy scent. It’s very fragrant, and I’ve read accounts from people saying that others tell them they smell like a funeral if their lily fragrance is too strong. They are warm and so fragrant that it can almost feel suffocating when there’s too much up close. It can be a controversial scent much like fatty aldehydes. Some people say it smells “off” in a way that’s difficult to describe.

Lilies are also EXTREMELY toxic and deadly to cats. One bite, lick, or the pollen and even the water of a lily can be fatal to a cat, and you should never have lilies in the proximity/in your home if you have a cat. Considering how Crowley can’t get along with cats in canon (Lucius and Grim don’t like him that much either), I feel like Crowley having a lily fragrance would be unfortunately very fitting

White lilies can be bridal flowers, but are most commonly associated with funerals and are known as “sympathy flowers.” Some hospitals even ban bringing in white lilies because of its usage as funeral flowers. White lilies symbolize purity, elegance, rebirth, mourning, and grief.

Interestingly enough, Lilia is specified to be “the sweetness of roses and white flowers.” A direct contrast?

Characters who share this descriptor (White Flowers only): Trey, Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Sebek, Lilia

*Note: Some characters specify lily of the valleys or ylang-ylang as a type of white flower used in their fragrance. But all these characters above, including Crowley are just listed as a vague white flower. I imagine Kalim and Jamil’s to smell like Jasmine flowers as a reference to Jasmine from Aladdin, but there’s no confirmation

Characters who share this descriptor (White flowers without sweetness): None

Cedarwood

Despite its name, the oil for perfumery can be extracted from cedar, but most commonly from juniper and cypress trees!

Like most woody fragrances, it is reminiscent of the outdoors. It is said to have warm, rich and complex scent, with earthy and balsamic (heavy/thick sweetness, mature, and soft and soothing scent, like the sticky consistency of balsamic vinegar) tones. When paired with floral or citrus aromas, it can create a luxurious and inviting smell.

Cedarwood in perfumes are used to add a depth and complexity to the perfume. Compared to sandalwood (a very common scent amongst the characters it seems!), Cedarwood is less sweet and smoky, and more soft and “cooling.”

And again, Cedarwood is often described as nostalgic! People say it evokes the smell of like… “pencil shavings and fine cigar boxes” due to these often being made from cedar, but in a sophisticated way haha! 🤣

Cedarwood is often described as grounding and calming because it’s very commonly used in aromatherapy. It is relaxing and aids in sleep. It’s all about comfort, which fits with Crowley’s “mysterious calmness.” Apparently, the essential oils of cedar has traditional medicinal usage as well, to relieve wounds or aches. It also serves to ward off insects!

Silver is the ONLY other character to share the Cedarwood scent. Bringing back what I say about Diaval and Aurora, isn’t it interesting that Crowley and Silver share this relaxing, foresty and calm scent that even aids in sleep? Silver is the only character in Special Lessons to say that he “feels better when the Headmage is here.”

Cedar is said to symbolism strength, longevity, incorruptibility, and nobility. Lol…🧎In various cultures, the cedar has great symbolism due to the long lived nature of the cedar tree and the oils medicinal properties. It is often used for and surrounds Japanese shrines. Cedar can be connected to Christianity through the Virgin Mary and Christ. The Ancient Egyptians also used cedar oil as part of the embalming (for mummification) process, mostly to ward off insects from the bodies. Some sarcophagi were carved from cedar wood as well.

Characters who share this descriptor: Silver

*Note: Although Cater’s says “cedar,” it’s notably distinct from Silver and Crowley’s “Cedarwood.” Cedarwood tends to more directly refer to the aromatherapy aspects of it?

Amber

Let’s start by saying that amber in perfumes is not related to the fossilized tree sap! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*) That type of amber has no scent at all, and is not related to the amber in perfumes.

Amber in perfumes is always an “accord,” aka made from a combination of scents. It’s most commonly made from a mixture of benzoin, labdanum, and vanilla. Because it’s an accord, very few ambers in perfume smell the same, as they all have their own different mixtures for amber. It can range from sweet to a little spicy and musky.

Apparently it has a comforting scent to it, warm, smooth, and sensual. It is described as one of the classic scents, and evocative of warm memories and indulgence. Apparently, when mixed with Cedarwood, it’s said to give off a “retro/vintage” timeless vibe. And when mixed with aldehyde, it’s said to have warm, elegant depth.

Amber is known as one of the “fantasy notes” in perfumery. Fantasy note sounds quite vague haha, but it essentially describes a perfume scent that does not naturally occur in nature and cannot be extracted, thus being a “fantasy.” The fossilized resin has no scent, but the perfume amber tries to achieve that warm, golden glow from actual amber. It is abstract and fictional, which is again rather fitting!

Characters who share this descriptor: Cater, Jack, Jade, Crewel

That’s all the descriptions, BUT IM NOT DONE YET! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ You see, when reading through every characters fragrance, you will notice that despite the characters sharing some similar fragrances, they’re listed in a different order. In perfumery, there is a concept of “notes,” specifically top, heart, and base notes. The top note is what people smell upon application. This is the scent where people decide if they like the perfume or not, because that’s they smell first. The heart note leads to the base note, and can even balance out the potential unpleasantness of the top note. The base/soul note is referred to as the “essence” of the fragrance, as it is the lasting impression that can linger for hours at the very end.

Crowley’s top note starts with this fatty aldehyde. Its fizzy, sharp “champagne” sensation is either loved or hated. It can give off a sense of classiness, but the sensory experiences surrounding it can be unwanted. To me, this feels like how Crowley’s character seems exaggerated and flamboyant. He is a character who can either drive players away or draw them in- it all depends on your initial reaction of him if you’ll take a closer look at his character.

His heart note might be the white floral without sweetness. It is plain yet warm and waxy. It’s sometimes more toned down compared to the aldehyde, but it’s still a selective scent. Perhaps here is where you sense something “off” about Crowley- he smells a bit too much like a funeral as if he’s still there in mourning. Something beyond his initial exaggeration, and how his character is leading to something deeper and perhaps foreboding. And much like the novel states, there’s an odd sense of grief/melancholy surrounding Crowley, but it is a sadness he keeps close and hidden in his heart.

The base/soul note being is Cedarwood and amber, which is again a common base note! After the sensations of the fatty aldehyde and the oddity of the lily, Crowley seems to suddenly reel it back in to something soothing and relaxing, much more evocative of nature and is inviting. For the few who stayed around to look beyond his playful and admittedly irresponsible antics, there’s this sense of calm. Crowley is much older and wiser than he makes himself out to be. He is capable of caring for others, he just shows it in very subtle ways- he even refers to the students as his fledgings. There’s this nostalgia and calm when being around him, although we currently don’t know why.

And with amber being this warm and classic, a “fantasy,” it feels like this fragrance is trying to end off in a dream-like sensation, evocative of the real amber’s golden glow. At the end of the day, we don’t really know who Crowley is yet. His fragrance is described as a “mysterious calm,” even if in canon he’s always super reactive and even bursts into tears or screams at the littlest of things. Perhaps he brought us into his world, perhaps he didn’t. Do we even know him at all, really? We don’t know, and all there’s left of the lingering fragrance of an indulgent glow.

I hope I could provide some insight to the components of Crowley’s fragrance! 😭 I hope I was right about at least one thing with what Yana and the perfumers had in mind when making this from Crowley’s image! 🤣🤣 I have no idea how it would actually smell all together lol, and I’m sad that the majority of us can’t have access to this, but hopefully this provides a better idea of his scent and how it connects to the “image” of his character? His fragrance could smell like cheap plasticy hand-sanitizer and I would be none the wiser despite spending hours on this cursed analysis NSJFJSJDNZ but allow me to imagine that he smells good! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

Also, I think it’s funny that Lilia is described to smell “historical” NAJDJDJDJD when Crowley is similarly quite old school 😭

Ough…Crowley’s fragrance essentially being like nostalgia and comforting old memories…SOMEONE END ME NOW 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

#this analysis is a little too long for a room fragrance and I am tired LMAO #twst #twisted wonderland #twst analysis #twst theory #dire crowley #twst dire crowley #twst Crowley #kallistopost #long post

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tojisbbygworl · 6 months

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Congrats, Babe - Toji Fushiguro x Black!Reader ~ FFL Series

Summary: Toji couldn’t believe you actually invited him to your graduation. Watching you walk across that stage, his son in his arms, sitting next to your family, he couldn’t be happier. Toji - 24, You - 21, Megumi - 3

Characters: Toji, Megumi

Words: 4,239

Tags: Fluff (kinda sorta Tooth-Rotting), Soft Toji, Toji’s a Good Dad, Suggestive Thoughts, Crushes to Lovers

Disclaimer: This work is part of a Black!Reader x Toji series I started called Fushiguro Family Life. It's basically a slice of life series with you, Toji and Megumi. None of them are in order and can be read on their own unless stated otherwise.

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author's note: Hiiiiii! Don't have much to say except I hope you all enjoy this. I feel like it's really cute and I think I'm doing pretty good on giving small insight on Megumi's personality, Toji's parenting, and what led to his divorce with Megumi's mother who I've decided will be named Ayano. Her name won't come up here but it will down the line. Toji's past will be revealed more and more as the series continues.

“Um, daddy?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are we going again?”

“A graduation.”

“Oh. What’s that?”

“It’s a ceremony.”

“Oh. What’s that?”

“Sigh…”

On a regular day, a simple drive with his son babbling about nothing in the backseat wouldn’t be so nerve wracking. However, today was a bit special.

Toji was genuinely shocked when you gave him your number after months of friendly flirting. He never actually expected to get anything from you, he was having too much fun watching you get frustrated. But, now that he thinks about it, you have been warming up to him for some time now. The two of you only ever talked at the gym. You went in only a couple of times a week, so he had to make every second count. And he may have purposely changed his availability so he would be there.

You hadn’t said yes to a date just yet, but he’s hoping it was only a matter of time. The two of you were becoming much closer with each other, sometimes spending hours just talking on the phone. Last night’s call was especially sweet. His ears have been heating up all morning from thinking about it. You were so excited about finally graduating, not having to worry about school for what may be the rest of your life, and starting your career. You were so ready for a steady income and to move out of your parents’ house. And it took everything within him to not suggest you move in with him instead of living on your own, as he knows how expensive it can get.

The journey to your graduation was a bit nerve wracking. He knew he’d be anxious when you invited both him and Megumi a week ago. A couple of family members hadn’t been able to make it, meaning Toji would be meeting and sitting down with those who could. Meeting the family before even one date. Unheard of.

He hadn’t even met his last wife’s family before marrying her. He can see how stupid of an idea that was now that they’re divorced. Imagine how much heartache he could have avoided had he done so.

After going through hell (finding parking) he lifts Megumi out of his car seat and takes his hand to follow the hordes of people heading to the auditorium. Looking at his tickets, Toji heads over to their assigned seats.

He sees a group of people who resemble you and deduces that it must be your family. At first he panics. He wonders if you told them about him coming or if he should even say anything. But, his question is answered when the older woman of the group taps his shoulder after sitting down. He guides Megumi to sit in the seat next to him, to which he simply refuses by putting his arms on his father’s lap and jumping to try and climb it. Toji rolls his eyes and lifts his son up.

“Are you the person my daughter Y/N invited? Toji?” She asks. Ah, so this was your mom. You don’t really look like her.

Toji puts on his charming smile and holds his hand out to her. “Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you.” He gestures to the little boy on his lap. “This is my son, Megumi.”

Megumi, who’s usually shy, lifts a small hand up and waved at her, looking down and away nervously. Your mom twiddles her fingers which makes him smile. “Aw,” she says and reaches over to tickle his stomach. Megumi giggles and kicks his feet. Toji jerks his head back in shock.

“Is this Toji?” He hears.

Your mother turns to the man sitting next to her and nods. “Mhm. And this is his son.” Megumi gets nervous again and his smile drops, but he does give a small wave. The man waves back and looks up at Toji. He holds his hand out. Now you do look like him. This must be your father.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Toji shakes his hand and says the same. The other two look over at the commotion and smile. Toji waves at them. Megumi hides his head in his shirt.

“Hi! You’re Toji?” One of them asked. She looks to be around the same age as you and sounds like it too. In fact, so does the boy sitting next to her. “I’m Kennedy. This is my brother. We’re Y/N’s cousins.”

“It’s really nice to meet you,” he said after introducing himself as Kwame. “She talks about you all the damn time.”

Toji’s smile freezes and he rubs the back of his neck. “She does?”

Everyone nods and starts going on and on about how much you gush about him. Up until he accepted your invitation, he was known as, “the fine ass gym owner”, a statement that made him blush even harder. However, it was nice knowing how you truly felt about him. It’s not as if you would ever admit to having a crush in front of his face.

He was a bit shocked. Yeah, you flirted back with him from time to time, but you didn’t actually like him, right? It was just…friendly banter. Right?

Some time passed before the lights in the auditorium dimmed and the graduation music began to play. As much as Toji loves that you asked him to come and as excited as he is to see you, it was extremely boring. The only reason he was awake was the clapping from various families. Didn’t bother Megumi, though. He was fast asleep in his father’s lap. Thank goodness, too. Megumi hated staying still if he didn’t have anything to distract him. It was something Toji was working on with him. He’d be getting somewhere with it, and then Megumi would go see his mother and it’s as if she pushed some sort of reset button and he was asking for Toji’s phone again.

Toji was feeling a bit anxious. Your name hadn’t been called yet, and even when it was, there were still hundreds of other students after you. It’s only a matter of time until-

Feeling a stirring on his chest, Toji tears his eyes away from his phone to look into his lap. Megumi was twisting back and forth into his shirt. He did this a few times before sitting up and rubbing his eyes with a yawn. “Shit.” Toji whispered to himself.

As if it’s a homing beacon, Megumi twisted his head to his father’s hand where his phone was being held. He reached out for it, becoming irritated when Toji put it in his pocket. Megumi looked up at him begrudgingly while Toji stared back. Crap. Megumi was a good kid overall, but he was still just a kid. He really didn’t want to have to leave because he started crying, and he also didn’t want to give Megumi the phone. Well, he would have to make a decision soon, because Megumi’s chest was heaving and getting worse with every passing second. His eyes grew big and sparkly, his bottom lip started to poke out, ahh shit.

Like an angel in disguise, your mother leaned over his lap and smiled at Megumi. “Did your daddy make you mad?” Toji’s jaw drops then drops even more when Megumi actually nods.

“Aw, come here baby,” she holds her hands out and lifts him into her lap when he reaches for her. “Don’t cry, hm?”

“Don’t you want to watch your friend graduate?” As if Megumi knows what graduate even means, he nods his head again. Toji is appalled. She flips him around and points to the stage where you had actually just gotten to the stairs. “Look. It’s Y/N.”

Megumi doesn’t know who she is either, he hadn’t met her yet. But still, he looks around for a face he does recognize, and Toji takes this chance to talk to her. “How…how did…”

“Hold on, she’s about to walk,” she shushes him. Toji turns his head back towards the stage where he sees you standing at the top. He sees your black and blue cap and gown, your decorated neck, and the bright smile on your face and lights up. He adjusts his posture.

You begin to walk and Toji takes notice of your heels. Your legs and feet look fantastic in them. He wondered what dress you were wearing underneath all that. He knows it looks great on you.

Your name is called, and he joins your family in a round of applause. Even Megumi starts clapping. Toji decides to throw in a whistle, laughing to himself when you turn to the crowd in confusion. You try to look for him in the crowd to no avail, but you smile anyway and walk off.

Toji leans back in his seat, still reveling in your smile, but stops when he feels some eyes on him. He turns to look at your mother who was giving him a stare he couldn’t read. Megumi was successfully distracted. He was counting on his fingers. Hopefully the number was 1000.

“So,” she starts, “how long until you’re ready to put a ring on her finger?”

After a second of choking on his own spit, Toji responds. “I’m-what?”

“What comes after 19?” Megumi asks.

“20,”Answers your mother.

“Oh.” He puts one more finger up. Afterwards, he puts all of his fingers back down and starts again. “What comes after that?”

“21.”

“…Oh!” And he starts silently counting again while mouthing the words to himself.

She looks back up at Toji who was waiting patiently for an explanation. “Well, now that she’s a graduate and is entering a sustainable career, I think she’s more than qualified to be a wife. Don’t you?”

Toji blushes profusely. His heart runs a mile a minute. He doesn’t know what to say or think. Is that why she’s been so nice and talkative to him? She thinks they’re dating? What have you told her?

She was anticipating his answer. Megumi was halfway through his 20s. “Uhm…I mean…yes, but…I think you might have the wrong idea.”

She leans back and gets a wistful look on her face. “Ah, I see,” she says. “You want to wait until the right moment and all of that. Well, I say the right moment is now, but that’s just me I guess.”

Toji’s mouth hasn’t closed for the entire interaction. She doesn’t acknowledge him at all. Just goes back to telling Megumi what numbers come after what.

After the ceremony, you all meet up outside and wait for your arrival. Toji decides not to bring up what happened in the auditorium. It was a little awkward, but mostly, he kind of likes the idea that your mother thinks the two of you are dating. No one else has said anything, however. Maybe it’s just your mother being a bit ridiculous.

Megumi, who’s still being held by her, taps her shoulder. “Is that her?” He asks while pointing.

They all look in the same direction and lo and behold, there you were. Your gown was unzipped showing off your beautiful white dress that stopped at your thighs and hugged your curves. It showed only a bit of your cleavage and left a lot to Toji’s very active imagination. Your makeup was stunning, and you had texted him earlier today saying that you did it yourself. You did an amazing job. Your Cajun spice locks framed your face beautifully. You told him you wanted your hair to be blonde so you stopped staining your new growth after bleaching it. Your cap was hiding the blonde. He would have loved to see it.

Your beautiful smile filled his heart, and he found himself gravitating towards you, even getting in front of your family. Your smile grew even bigger as you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in it. He did the same to you and squeezed you closer by your waist.

“Congrats, babe.”

“Thank you Toji. I’m so glad you came.” He rocks you back and forth before pulling away.

“Of course we came.” Your face lights up and you look at your family. You hug and kiss them all, your mother being last. She puts Megumi down to hug you tightly. Toji sees a tear run down her cheek. He looks at Megumi, expecting him to come running back, but he just stands there and looks up at you while holding your mother’s pants.

“Have you met Megumi, yet?” Your mother asks you, putting her hand behind his back and nudging him in front of her.

“No,” you answer, crouching down to speak to him. “Hi Megumi. I’m Y/N.”

Megumi smiled shyly and waved at you. “You’re very pretty. I see why my dad likes you so much!”

“Megumi!” Toji reaches for his hand and picks him up while blushing. Kennedy and Kwame giggle off to the side. Your father was too busy trying to record you to notice what he had said. You cover your mouth and look at him. He knew you were laughing underneath your hand.

“Okay!” Your dad put his phone away after looking at the time. “We have to get going before traffic gets bad and we end up late.”

As if he pressed a button, your whole family jumped into action. Toji looked at you in confusion as you walked up to him. “What’s going on?”

“We’re throwing a graduation party,” you explain. Sheepishly, you rub your ear. “I…wasn’t sure if you wanted to come to that too. It’s mostly going to be family and I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable-.”

“I’d love to come!” He says a bit too excitedly. He clears his throat afterwards. “I’d love to come.”

Your beam made his heart pound. “Okay! I’ll send u the address.” You approached him and put your hand on his arm. His palms became sweaty and he had no clue what you were trying to do, but he was prepared for anything. Especially a kiss.

Unfortunately, you weren’t trying to do that. Instead, you tickled Megumi’s tummy making him giggle sweetly. “Are you okay with that?” You asked while looking at the baby boy.

Megumi nodded enthusiastically. “I love parties!” He shouted.

“Yay! You’ll have so much fun. There’s going to be a kids room, okay?” Megumi nods even more. You take out your phone, send Toji the address, then turn to catch up with your family. Toji continues to watch the back of your head longingly. He’s knocked out of his trance when you turn to look at him. “Come on. We’re going to the parking garage.”

Toji blinks and gulps. That’s right. He could walk you to your car. “Coming.”

Toji pulls up to the banquet hall 30 minutes later. Your family had made it a few minutes before, but were all already inside having a time. Getting out of the car, Toji looked around. There were a lot of cars and even more pulling up. Whole families getting out and rushing to the doors, some of them with gifts. Toji’s throat dries up. He thinks he’ll keep his gift in the car.

When he walks inside with his son, it’s clear that he is a fish out of water. There was a large dancefloor already housing hoards of people. He nervously looked around for someone he recognized, and got even more nervous as the seconds went by. He looked at Megumi, who was getting more and more nervous by the second.

He began walking inside with no clear direction. Some children ran past his legs, which captured Megumi’s attention. They took a second to stop and look at the large man that they had never seen before, then went right back to playing. Toji watches them run to the other side of the building and go through a door. Toji wonders if that’s the kid’s area you were talking about. Then, a couple more children run past the doorway, with an adult chasing after them. He’ll assume the answer is yes.

Upon walking through the door, he finds himself in a hallway. It’s a long corridor, but right on the wall opposite to the party, there was an open door. He could see from the cartoon paintings on the wall, the bright colors, the puzzle piece mat, and the sound from within that this was his destination. When walking in, he gained many stares from the various kids inside. He grew worried for Megumi who had his hand over his mouth staring nervously at the crowd of kids. He was gripping Toji’s shirt tightly. He knew his little heart was beating a mile a minute.

Toji pulled his son to the front of him. “Hey,” he tells him. “You’re gonna be brave for daddy, right?” The boy shakes his head. Toji shifts his jaw and sighs. “Come on, Megumi. I’ll…” he squeezes his lips together and his eyes shut, not wanting to have to bribe his son. “I’ll get you pizza and ice cream tomorrow. We can have it for breakfast.”

It didn’t excite him, but it did the job. Megumi nodded his head and let his father put him on the floor. “Of course,” Toji whispered under his breath. He watches Megumi shyly walk up to some younger kids around his age, talking about nothing and playing with blocks. They watch him sit down then go back to playing. Megumi looks back at his dad who gives him a smile and a thumbs up. The boy takes a second, turns back around and reaches for a block. Then, one kid decides to hand one to him. Then another. Soon, Megumi’s being offered blocks galore. Toji feels a warmth growing inside him along with relief. He fit right in. And, maybe he’ll forget about that promise.

“Well that seemed to work quite well, huh?” Says a familiar voice from behind him. Toji turns around to face you. Your cap and gown was off just leaving you in your stunning dress. Your skin looked so smooth, and your hair was even more beautiful than before now that he can see it in its full glory. You never failed to take his breath away.

He clears his throat, checks back on Megumi once more, then follows you back out into the hall. The door leading to the party was closed so the children wouldn’t run into it so easily, and they wouldn't be disturbed in the play room. Despite the blasting music, it blocked off the sound pretty well. “You heard that, huh?” He laughs. “Yeah, it always seems to work. Sometimes he forgets so it still works out in my favor.”

You let out your adorable giggle. “I wasn’t aware that you were so conniving.” You tease.

“You haven’t seen nothing yet, doll.” Toji gives you a sideways grin and leans towards you with his hands in his pockets. You’re beaming with your fingers covering your mouth.

You push his shoulder. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Can’t say. Kids around.”

“Excuse you?”

“You should push me again.”

“I probably will. You always give me a reason to.”

“Can it be because I like when you touch me?”

“Toji!” You exclaim quietly, looking around to make sure no one was in the hallway to hear him. He was giving you the most shit-eating grin. He reveled in making you flustered.

“What?” He feigns, leaning even closer towards you. He gives your face a good once over. Then he looks down at your lips. They look so soft and so full. He just wants to know how they feel on his skin. On his lips. On his-

“Oh my gosh!” You gasp and grab his arm, knocking him out of his trance. “This is my favorite song!” You grab him and run to open the doors, dragging him onto the dancefloor that’s become even more crowded.

Toji’s feeling a whirlwind of emotions. But nothing compares to you throwing him forward and getting in front of him. Your back faced towards him and before you started dancing, you turned your torso to look at him. “Put your arms on my waist.” You yell.

He blinks. “What?” He’s sure he didn’t hear you correctly over the loud music.

“Your arms,” you repeat. You take his hands and put them on your lower torso. “Just catch my whine, okay?”

And he does. And he does it well. You start to move your waist slowly. You’re barely touching him, but he still feels hot all over. He really is perfect. He’s not grinding against you, but he’s not letting you go either. He squeezes you, which pleases you immensely. Both of you feel amazing in the other’s presence. As if you’re the only two there.

All good things must come to an end. The song, the dance, and eventually, his time at the party. It was getting late. He had to get Megumi home. After what you pulled, Toji didn’t even bother to fix the boyfriend allegations. He wondered how awkward that would be. For you to dance so sensually on a man you weren’t with in front of your family. He’s sure they wouldn’t appreciate that. And there were so many people asking him about it. It would be a headache to correct all of them every single time.

Even then, he had a lot of fun. He enjoyed spending time with you and your family, despite how awkward he could get. And you - oh, you. Your eyes didn’t leave him all night. He thought he was imagining things. But when the clock passed 10, and he told you he had to leave, you eagerly followed him to grab Megumi. Him, amongst other children, were asleep. Toji picked him up and carried him outside.

“Good thing you’re walking little ol’ me to my car.” He whispers once they get out. “I wanted to give you something but I was afraid you wouldn’t have anywhere to put them for the time being.” Toji walks around to Megumi’s seat and sits him down safely. He was still sound asleep. He would have been confused, if it wasn’t for the food stains around his mouth and on his shirt. He’ll be asleep until next week. “And I…was nervous and couldn’t think of a good time.”

“Aw, you didn’t have to get me anything.” You assure him. Toji shushes you before strapping him inside. Once he does, he picks up a gigantic bouquet of white flowers, walks back around the car, and gives them to you.

You gasp. “Oh, Toji.” You appreciated all the presents you got, but this was all you really wanted. Something simple and cute that still showed that whoever gave it to you was thinking fondly of you. And they were your favorite.

You accept them graciously. For a few seconds, you and Toji just look at each other. He’s overwhelmed with pride and joy for you. You really graduated today. You achieved something great. Something that he was never able to do. He admires you so much. Not just your looks, but your brain and personality. In his eyes you were…perfect.

Today went just the way you wanted it to. You got to celebrate your achievement with the people you truly cared about. And you did care for Toji. You think it’s about time he knew that.

So, you grab his shoulder, pull him towards you, stand on the balls of your feet and give him a smooch right in his left cheek. You hear his small gasp and it makes your heart run. You began to sweat a bit. The nerve of you, to kiss him like that. He looks genuinely shocked and you almost begin to regret what you did, until he takes his arm and wraps it around your waist before you can pull away. Toji breathes harder and harder as he stares longingly at your parted lips. Then, he finally leans down and kisses you for the first time.

For a moment, your hearts feel as though they’re beating as one. The kiss is tender and filled with need. Toji is steady pushing your head backwards as he deepens it. When he realizes what he’s doing, he stops abruptly and pulls away. You both continue to stare in each other’s eyes as you catch your breath.

Despite his dry mouth, Toji swallows. “I-I’m sorry,” he begins. “I just…I…”

He had seen you smile a lot today, but the one that spreads across your cheeks was the brightest by far. Everything, every anxious thought and insecure feeling he had washes away. “No. It’s okay. I liked it.”

Absolutely perplexed, Toji let’s out a sound of disbelief. He tries to keep from smiling, but he can’t help it. “You did?”

And you nod. Eagerly.

Ever the rascal, Toji gives you his signature side grin and brings your body closer to him. “You want another one?”

His chagrin makes you burst into a fit of laughter and you throw your arms around his neck, smacking the flowers onto his back. Filled with joy, Toji fully wraps both of his arms around you and lifts you up, twirling you around.

And from inside, a couple of your baby cousins watch the adorable scene. One of the older ones took many pictures to show everyone later on. “I told you that was her boyfriend.”

ending a/n: Let me know what y'all think! I love hearing yall's opinions. And I mayyyyy be open to taking requests. I have many idead already, but I want to see what y'all can think of. Okay byeeeeeeee!!! Taglist for the next story is open.

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pagannatural · 11 days

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2.14 Born Under a Bad Sign

-Meg possesses Sam which forces the brothers’ dynamic to develop. Dean really reclaims a sense of himself this episode after spending all season in various degrees and types of turmoil over what to do about Sam. I don’t think he ever really considered killing Sam, but he agonized over his role and what he should do. He lied to a drunk Sam in Playthings and said he would kill him.

- Dean has called Ellen multiple times about Sam going missing, so much so that Dean doesn’t even refer to him by name on the phone, he just calls asking Where is he. Dean says “I’m losing my mind here.” He’s desperate to find Sam. I wonder if Dean ever lost Sam when he was a baby, like at the store or something.

- Dean also says it’s like when John went missing all over again. Dean sought out Sam for help and comfort when that happened. It’s a little kernel of insight into Dean’s state of mind when he broke into Sam’s house in s1, he was probably a lot more afraid than he let on to Sam because he was trying to keep it together.

-when he gets to the motel room Dean kneels in front of Sam, who’s sitting on the bed. He’s off to the side rather than right in between Sam’s legs but when he zeroes in on the blood on Sam’s shirt, on his lower stomach, he starts moving aside Sam’s jacket and touching the bloody fabric. It looks very intimate. Dean reaches directly into Sam’s personal space and even moves his clothes aside to check for injury.

This quick shot of his fingers feeling Sam’s stomach is particularly intimate. Meg!Sam says that he doesn’t think it’s his blood. Dean certainly thought it was Sam’s blood, he wouldn’t have been considering other options at that moment. So Dean is touching Sam’s wound on his lower belly, as far as he and the viewer know. It’s a sexual and feminine image. Although he’s not actually injured, Sam’s body has been invaded and controlled by a demon. It’s a sexual assault parallel, a first taste of Sam’s fall from grace. Throughout the episode, Dean fights for him and refuses to harm him. As long as Sam is still in there somewhere, Dean will protect him.

-Meg is inside of Sam’s brain and body and she has a pretty good understanding of Sam. She’s acting the way she thinks he would and also in whatever way plays to her advantage with Dean, so she has a primary interest in the nature of their relationship. She knows about Dean’s promise to John and to Sam about killing him, so she must have some access to his memories. She plays up Sam’s pleading eyes more than anything, which means she knows Sam’s memories that this has worked on Dean in the past.

- Dean reacts with deep skepticism to the gas station clerk telling him that Sam was drinking, smoking, and behaving violently.

Dean has also picked up on a couple of other specifics that aren’t like Sam: the name he gave at the motel is the name of a Bon Jovi band member, which Dean doesn’t think Sam likes and isn’t one of the names they would recognize for each other; and if Sam did smoke, Dean seems convinced he wouldn’t smoke menthols. He knows Sam so well.

- Dean says that smoking and throwing bottles at people sounds “more like me than you” which tells us that Dean is sometimes an angry drunk and sometimes a smoker, both of which make perfect sense for his character. There’s a lot we don’t directly see on the show.

-Sam moves differently, seems more feminine, and when Dean continues to insist he might not be a murderer he looks annoyed and almost rolls his eyes. Jared Padalecki is so good at being Sam possessed by Meg.

-Meg is basically begging Dean to feel horror that Sam killed someone- a hunter! with a family! caught on camera!- but Dean is like Ah fuck okay I’ll just run through the crime scene cleanup checklist quick and then we can take a nap together at home before we go okay babe? Babe u okay?

- Meg!Sam asks Dean to kill him, kinda using the puppy dog eyes but not quite selling it because it’s not needy enough, and Dean says “I’ve tried so hard to keep you safe…I can’t. I’d rather die.”

This is Dean admitting outright that his promise was bullshit and that he will either save Sam or die trying, and he’s faced so many trials to be completely sure and ready to say it. It doesn’t matter what Sam does. Dean had to understand more consciously his feelings for Sam before he could commit to this because it’s a fundamental part of who he is and his love for Sam. He feels guilty about his love, but he can’t doubt the strength of it and I think this is where he first accepts his role as Sam’s savior. The way he looks at Sam here is with such open love and desire. He’s like Wesley looking at Buttercup.

-Dean calls the phone company to get Sam’s location by pretending Sam is his son. He says “my son” and calls him Sammy and fuck if it isn’t the cutest. Dean is Sam’s dad now. Succession.

-Meg!Sam is so irritated that Jo is carrying a torch for Dean. She seems to be using Sam’s real memories and feelings to get what she wants, and in this case I think Sam is probably annoyed by Jo’s crush and wishes she understood she doesn’t have a chance with Dean, so Meg is using her weaknesses. She really enjoys using Sam’s characteristics and twisting them. For example, after tying Jo up she uses the puppy dog face again and says “c’mon it’s me, you can tell me anything” which echos Sam’s role as sympathetic ear to the victims and other characters. So when she talks about Jo wanting Dean and Dean not wanting Jo and then attacks her in a very sexually charged way, it feels like she’s playing with both their desire for Dean and Sam’s desire to be more like him. She seems to be telling the truth in these scenes, just truths that Jo wouldn’t want to know. So telling her You want him but he doesn’t want you and aren’t I the next best, when Sam in reality does not want Jo, makes Jo into a proxy to act out unrequited love for (and from) Dean.

-Meg!Sam shoots Dean and he falls into the water from the dock and Jo finds him soaked and bleeding and you have three guesses as to the first words out of his mouth (“where’s Sam?”).

-Bobby asks where Dean is so Meg!Sam tells him Dean’s with a girl somewhere. Bobby asks if she’s pretty and Meg’s eyes go black and she says “if you ask me he’s in way over his head.” The visual cue and emphasis make it clear Meg is talking as herself here, not as Sam, and it seems like she’s talking about Dean’s situation with Sam. It’s also a pun because she thinks he’s underwater, but regardless she’s connecting Dean being with some girl and Dean being in trouble because of Sam.

-she also smirks at Dean pretty wickedly and tells him “you wouldn’t wanna bruise this fine packaging” ie Sam’s body that she knows Dean thinks is mighty fine. What I wouldn’t give for her to taunt him more in this way.

- she tells Dean he’s worthless, he can’t save Sam, and the people he loves would be better off without him. Which means his worst beliefs about himself (as far as Sam knows) are that he isn’t good enough and that he’s actually bad for Sam. Why? Why would Sam know that Dean fears he would be better off without him? He’s protected and cared for Sam his whole life, both Sam and John have explicitly told him that they’re grateful, and even Dean can’t blame himself for the way he and Sam grew up. It’s possible this is about the fact that Sam is in danger hunting with Dean, but he would’ve been in danger in law school too. It fits better with Dean’s guilt over his feelings for Sam and his knowledge that Sam is in love with him. Sam knows that Dean blames himself.

-Dean refuses to hurt Sam when Meg!Sam is punching him, and she punches him four or five times. Then when Sam is back unpossessed, Dean punches him in the face. When it was about saving Sam Dean refused to hurt him, but now that Sam is safe it’s like his anger at Sam comes pouring out. He needed some form of resolution for the fact that his little brother scared the shit out of him for a week straight going missing, murdered someone and didn’t even help clean up the crime scene, pistol whipped him, shot him in the shoulder, punched him, named his worst fears, threatened to bite his own tongue off, and pressed his finger into his wound and laughed. Obviously Sam did none of those things and it was all Meg, but I think it’s completely understandable that Dean reacted this way after not only keeping his shit together for Sam all that time but also actively protecting him. It’s a reasonable trauma response for him to have fought back. I’m not saying it’s ethical or anything just that it’s exactly what Dean would do and it gives his episode arc some catharsis.

-for his part, Sam isn’t upset with Dean for punching him. He never is. As evidenced by Sam’s little smirk when Dean makes joke about Bobby’s charms for keeping the demon from “getting back up in there.”

-Dean checks in with Sam in the sweetest way, gently prompting him to answer if he’s okay. Sam explains that what’s troubling him isn’t the memory of his own hands killing a man, it’s the knowledge that even then Dean wouldn’t kill him. They both know for sure now.

-Dean teases Sam about having a girl inside him and Sam grins. It’s just one of many references to Sam having someone inside him and otherwise sexually being referred to as the girl.

-Dean’s “if it’s the last thing I do I’m gonna save you” hits different when you’re on tumblr and you know the show ends 13 seasons later with Dean dying and Sam living out some kind of a life.

#supernatural #wincest #samdean #spn meta #sam and dean #spn 2x14 #born under a bad sign

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r-2-peepoo · 1 month

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Here is why I really doubt that the clone assassin is Cody:

So either CX-2 is Tech or they are throwing a hell of a lot of red herrings at us which wouldn’t really make sense unless the writers decided to completely switch styles right at the end, but the alternative theory people have is just not good imo.

It shouldn’t be Cody. I truly don’t believe it is and if it somehow was, then I think it would be a bad idea.

Cody is why Crosshair ultimately leaves the Empire. Jennifer Corbett actually said it herself. Cody is someone Crosshair admires and who has always treated the Bad Batch with respect and kindness even if no one else did, and it is him that makes Crosshair begin to change his mind. Mayday exposed the horror of what the Empire was really doing and Cody starts him on his journey of wanting to leave.

Cody was obviously just a throwaway character at the time ROTS came out but who he became in TCW is so important. Even if he doesn’t have the most screen time, it’s more about what he represents than anything else. His personality evolving into what it is when he is the Commander who serves with Obi Wan is very intentional because both characters serve similar purposes for their respective groups, those obviously being the clones and the Jedi. They both are imperfect people who are genuinely good at heart and it’s that goodness that is so important. They don’t know everything but they do their best to navigate the galaxy with empathy and respect for others. There are so many lovely parallels between the two of them and I think analysing Obi Wan actually allows you more insight into Cody too. They have differences of course, but there is so much that connects them and their influence on each other is undeniable.

Cody turning into this antagonistic figure would undercut Crosshair’s journey in my opinion. Cody needs to just be in the one episode to be a symbol of Crosshair’s development. Any further involvement from him devalues his contribution which was so crucial. One single episode created such a ripple effect. Obviously Cody wouldn’t choose to be like this, but even being forced against his will to become a monster still colours what he gave Crosshair and also feels like a very unfulfilling arc for him. There’s been no set-up and it contradicts everything he has ever been. Cody should stay as this pure moral character because that’s what he’s been from the very beginning. Order 66 was his moment of tragedy. There shouldn’t be anything else. It wouldn’t feel complete, narratively speaking, and I’d hate for him to be used just to develop someone else, like Rex. He just drops wisdom in random episodes of shows he’s in and then gets the hell out of there and I love him for that. The clone assassin shouldn’t be him and I truly don’t believe it is.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #clone wars #the bad batch #sw #tbb #the bad batch s3 #tbb tech #cx 2 #clone assassin #codywan #commander cody

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utilitycaster · 24 days

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RE: Ruidusborn superstition - It's weird because Matt has had several opportunities to make it about persecution and hasn't. Laura could've made it a stronger point in her backstory with Gelvaan and didn't. This rounding up Ruidusborn and throwing them in jail is a theoretical crime that a bad guy in a cult told them might happen.

Dealing with the unfair persecution of non Vanguard Ruidusborn in the fallout of this could be interesting to explore, but a) it hasn’t happened yet and b) still entirely the fault of the Vanguard for, ya know, all the crime. I just don’t get why some folks aren’t exploring the actual interesting conflict in front of them (i.e. being tied to something inherently destructive, your parent using you as a justification for her crimes, etc.) and instead make it about some secret twist coming that will totally make Liliana and the Vanguard “correct” actually in order to (I assume?) justify Imogen’s brief consideration of them and dunk on Orym for having the audacity to not be objective about the organization that killed his family.

Hey anon,

This is a very good point re: the actual conflicts present. I know I've been guilty of going hard on Liliana and the thing is I do find her a profoundly compelling and sympathetic villain. I think she was placed in an impossible position by Predathos imbuing her with troubling and at times painful powers; that despite having good intentions with regards to the nature of Ruidus (there is a lot of value in both studying it and in concealing its nature, depending on your perspective) people other than Ludinus were unable to give her answers and so she was easy prey for his cult; and she has since been driven by these motivations so far down the road of the Ruby Vanguard that even when the daughter she has believed herself for so long to be protecting tries to give her an out and asks her why she's doing this, she can't answer but is terrified of leaving. She is very sympathetic. She is very much a villain. And yes, I'll cover Orym in a second.

The following is, by necessity due to the nature of what I want to discuss, going to touch on some real-world politics though mostly in the sense of abstract strategy with very few specific actual positions. I want to note that we are talking about a fictional work here, and while I do have some presumptions regarding the people advocating for the Vanguard, they are just that - presumptions. I will only say that if this is how the people advocating for the Vanguard engage with people in real-world activism (if they partake in that in the first place), this may be a revealing insight into why they are perhaps less than successful.

Every argument in favor of killing the gods ultimately presupposes killing the gods is correct. They are all, ultimately, either tautological (we should kill the gods because they are deserving of death) and assume that the only objective conclusion is "we should kill the gods", therefore anything other than "we should kill the gods" cannot be objective.

I may be repeating myself since I've said this a lot since the last episode but: there as a truly bone-chilling lack of empathy in thestatement that Orym needs to stop bringing up his dead family and get over it and be objective (read: agree with the premise that the gods should be killed). Actually, if you are a person capable of perceiving others as people, you will likely realize that it is cruel and absurd to expect someone to say "this group murdered my family, but because they did so with the correct motivations, I shall stop mentioning it." As you indicated, it's bizarre that Orym is expected to set the wholesale murder - deliberately set up with no hope of resurrection, just to twist the knife - aside, but Imogen is never expected to set aside the (let's face it, extremely tenuous, given that Liliana's been absent for over a quarter-century) feelings about her mother, a person who recruits child soldiers, turned Vax into an orb, and is a general in the death cult that murdered Orym's husband and father. Like, in a real-world scenario, someone in Orym's position very well might have just left over this. Your friends keep failing to consider your trauma? Perhaps it's time to, painful as it may be, find friends who will be sensitive. [I don't want to focus on the shipping or character dynamic aspects with that particularly argument against Orym, but this is a fictional work and I do think another running theme in all sorts of discourse is that you do not need to justify your ships as logical, and when you do, you really do sound like "why doesn't Ross, the largest friend, simply eat all the other friends." There are logical reasons why Orym might not want to talk with, for example, Fearne or Ashton; but also the heart wants what it wants, and again, if you aren't truly ignorant about the way human psychology works you have to acknowledge that.]

Before I move on to other items I want to note I've as of late seen attempts not just to discredit Orym but to pathologize his behavior as self-harming or moral OCD or a failure to get fully over grief (again, an expectation that is not just devoid of empathy but also sets the standard of 'get over grief' as "agrees with me") and not just "hey, this group killed my husband and father in front of me and I understandably will not budge on this particular front. So there's also a growing ableist push, here, because someone doesn't agree with you and will not agree with you and also might want to kiss someone different than whom you want them to kiss.

As of late, the banner of those wronged by the gods has shifted from any of Bells Hells to those of Aeor, and that is a bad sign in a D&D campaign. If you need to set aside the PCs in order to rely on NPCs who have not shown up in the current narrative? You are clinging to a melting iceberg, my man. (More so after invoking FCG as one of the victims of Aeor's demise, rather than someone created to be used for malicious purposes by Aeor; and even more so after they destroyed themself specifically in heroic sacrifice to save the rest of the party from a Vanguard general.). But more seriously, the focus on Aeor feels reminiscent of advocacy for the unborn; or, to take a page from my own personal experiences and move this back into a fandom realm, the way people will frequently more loudly decry antisemitism for depictions of goblins than for, say, the fact that I don't know of an American synagogue that hasn't experienced a bomb threat in the past 10 years. It's very easy to advocate for corpses or fetuses over the living, or for fictional characters over real people who might be less than perfect. Much easier to ensure they never do such inconvenient things as disagree with you or have their own suggestions or be complicated. It hearkens back to some of the conversations I and others had earlier this campaign about a denial of agency because by making characters victims "stripped of choice," (always that phrasing) suddenly they can't do wrong. They make for a shit story, but at least you can feel morally pure about your flavorless cardboard that ultimately means nothing in-world or out. (And if they don't have agency, that means your morality pet can't run away. Or blow themselves up in a stunning rejection of your argument.)

Returning to the Vanguard: an ongoing discussion in activist spaces (and internet ones as well) is that there's a weird ignorance of optics as an important factor in activism. I know it seems frustrating - why can't people just see that this cause is just - but optics have always been a crucial part of any successful movement. I mean, even if you do believe that we need to do more to combat climate change - and I do - my, and most people's response to the environmental activists who keep throwing soup or paint on artwork is "ugh, this again?" I mean, functionally, while the cause is far more just, it's not terribly distinct from the weird-ass He Gets Us ad campaign; most people are going to say "and you're doing this instead of anything helpful...why?" The Vanguard's optics SUCK. Sure, they've fomented some unrest, but it is an unfortunate truth that the vast majority of people will prefer the inherent violence of a stable system that they are used to over violent unrest. For a successful coup or radical change, either you need to strike at the seat of power extremely quickly or you need to show that you are the more, for lack of a better term, civilized option, and the Vanguard has failed utterly in both these. You're going to get a few places like Hearthdell (though, really, how long will that last given that they got rid of the temple without a scrap of help from Ludinus) but you're going to get a lot of places where city dwellers say "ugh, these stupid crystals are so fucking loud, could this motherfucker shut up" and you're also going to get no shortage of places that say "my family member was taken in by this cult" or "these guys murdered my professor". The rightness or wrongness of the Vanguard's politics aside, a lot of people in-world are likely to side with Orym - these people are murderers who disturb the peace and we should stop them. The cause is lost. Is it, in some absolute sense, fair that people will judge you more for how you convey a message than what the message is? No, although if you convey it in rivers of blood, then, perhaps, yes. But it is, fair or not, often true.

Which brings me back to Orym. I think the reason people are stooping so low specifically to malign and discredit Orym is because he brings all of the above uncomfortably to light. He's aligned with Keyleth, who quite frankly until pretty recently was, within the fandom, partly as (understandable) backlash to the hate she received, and partly because she was, if nothing else, always portrayed as someone deeply attuned to the human costs, treated as a morally infallible authority; and she is no friend to the gods yet still believes their demise is far too great a risk to take. Again, thinking of yourself as Exandria's equivalent of the man on the street (Imahara Joe the Plumber?), are you going to listen to "those people killed my husband and father to prove a hypothesis so that they could tether the moon?" or "my mom, who left me when I was two years old and never came back or sent a letter, is one of those people?" And that's assuming Imogen's even going to make that argument, which, as her actions indicate, she's probably not going to. But most of all I think they really don't like that Orym isn't backing down from "That is the blade that killed my father and husband. She is not right." He's kept to this story the entire time, while the positions of others have evolved. And he's telling the truth. Every time he says this, I think anyone who isn't actually a complete black hole of empathy must confront how much of their humanity they are supressing just to make a poorly-argued point about a D&D show and I'd imagine that can't make one feel very good.

I think people are terrified of Orym's conviction, because he has shown, time and time again, that he is not going to be swayed. I don't think, in fact, that he's going to be swayed by seeing Aeor, should that happen, since Aeor was destroyed a thousand years before he, Will, or Derrig were born, and their murders failed to undo that harm in any way. A really good way to turn people away from your cause, even if it's a good one, is killing those they love. And again, it's fine if you see that position as unfair, or ignorant, or even amoral. It's also extremely true. And I think people realize it's true, given that the only defenses I've seen for Liliana have been "well, but she's Imogen's mother" and "well, it's shockingly easy for people to fall into a cult, because this has happened to my family members." Clearly, we agree that people will place personal connections and the pain of those close to them over ideology. Orym's is just really inconvenient for some people, and so he must be discredited.

In the end: the people in the story who at every turn choose manipulation, indoctrination, violence, subjugation, and conquest are saying "This is the way; you just have to trust me." Is it any surprise most people watching the show are saying "No, I don't think I will"?

#answered #Anonymous #long post #critical role

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danandphilplay · 1 month

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im going to put my answers below bc i know some of these vids are likely not returning to dnp and i do agree with that i just wanted to do a fun poll abt if you could have another of these vids then which would you choose. ofc like ive said before we have no control over dnp uploads and i fully know some of these won’t come back lol

ok first of all i don’t think pinof is coming back and i think that’s been clear for ages anyways like ten is a nice number to leave it. HOWEVER i do think an april fools dapc pinof would be hilarious. answering crafties questions and whatever they send to craft universe dnp.

same with amazingdan BUT maybe there’s a slight chance of reacting to amazingdan. maybe not since so much time has already passed since pinof reactions (four months …..) honestly out of the options i’m not that bothered about pinof or amazingdan i feel like they’re classic dnp content that’s fine left as it is

ok for the pizza mukbang thing i don’t care for it to be a mukbang video lol like the actual thing was the nice sit down talk vibes pyjama pizza w friends maybe this is exactly what dan means abt being parasocial 😭 but that video is nice so i don’t think the actual mukbang part of it is that important it’s more the sit down talk style vid

i think i would do anything for another day in the life but i feel like it is prob peak parasocial content. would it count as phouse tour probably. do i think there will be a phouse tour no bc it sounds like it is still having a lot of work done 😭 and i honestly don’t really care abt it… i think the sims renovation was fun and an insight into their interior design opinions lol and that is enough for me

i put it takes two bc a lot of people want to see the next bit i like the game but not rly enough. idk it’s been awhile since that first vid and in terms of other games and things from dnp i don’t rly mind about it takes two being ignored 😭

i know baking is not a discontinued thing anymore bc HALLOWEEN but BUT i really believed easter baking would be a thing 💔 dapc had so much put into it that i kind of forgot about wanting a baking vid but 💔 i can’t lie i think i got set on the expectation for it. like the baking vids have always been absolute classic staple dnp content but definitely the cinnamon roll one was like the baking vids to the extreme… the full potential AND THE BAKE WAS GOOD TOO. the vid was also pretty popular. so my expectations for easter were a bit high. ok so if this poll is like magically summon a dnp vid 🪄 maybe id consider baking because i just love it so much like irl as a hobby but also then dnp doing one of my fav things too and it being so fun idk it’s some of the best dnp content imo. i would love them to try a series of making food from videogames but no offence to them i don’t get the vibe that they cook a lot…… so i think it might not happen. but dil is turning TEN in september so maybe dnp special dil birthday cake baking vid 💔 pleaese pleasemaybe

i think tumblr tag is totally plausible although ik the april fools tumblr tag thing 💔 bc the twitter vid happened i think they’ll do a tumblr one at some point. there’s so much amazing art on here not just fanart but written stuff video and photo edits so i’d want them to see all of that as well as the funny stuff. this isn’t like top of my list of things i’d want to see but it’s definitely one of the more plausible things

dapc behind the scenes content its either happening or it will never be spoken of

honestly idk if they would do reactions to the super amazing project. bc like what vids would they choose. maybe i can see them referencing it or discussing it if someone asked or in a live but idk about reaction vids.

ok draw my life would be fun and i’d watch them. i’d watch an updated dil draw my life too. they put so much effort into that dil draw my life. maybe an updated one for dil’s 10th birthday will happen? that would be pretty fun.

i think if i had to choose it would be a ditl vid. top 3 would be ditl, mukbang or literally just any sit down talk vid, and another baking video. ditl may literally just be bc of nostalgia i don’t really see it happening again but who knows. again just a poll about which vid you’d want to see if you could magic up a dnp vid i definitely know some of these aren’t coming back or very unlikely to

#dan howell #amazingphil #dan and phil #dan and phil games #dapg #dan and phil poll

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edenfenixblogs · 3 months

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Hi, I have a question and you seem like a really balanced person, so here goes: I want to join a drag king collective, and I’m so excited about it, but the king leading it has some Interesting views. It’s the kind of thing where it’s constant “fuck Zionists” and what feels like extremely performative activism (Palestinian flag in bio but no actual fundraising/peace efforts, posting misinformation/irresponsible rhetoric etc.) I’m scared that if I join it I’ll be treated different, and even more scared that my friends will think the antisemitism justified (they aren’t great at understanding what antisemitism looks like these days). Idk what to do about the fear of someone being antisemitic because I don’t want it to stop me from doing what I want, but I also know it’ll devastate me if it does happen. If you can offer any insight I’ll be very grateful.

Hi friend!

I'm really glad you reached out to me. Not because I pretend to know all the answers, but because I love that we can all rely on each other during this time.

Unfortunately, whether you sign up for this is ultimately a matter of your own personal priorities and how you are prone to handle confrontation.

Personally, if it was me, I would join. I'm not afraid of defending myself (but I very much used to be, so no shame if you're not there yet). If I wanted to explore my gender identity through performance (if indeed that is what you are doing. I've never been personally drawn to perform drag, so I cannot pretend to know exactly why one might start. But I don't think I'm out of line to assume that it involves some kind of exploration or critique of gender both personally and societally) I certainly wouldn't let antisemites be the reasons I didn't go for it.

If the Anti-Zionist jerk starts coming at you, you can simply say "OK, great. Real quick question: What's a Zionist?" And watch him squirm to say anything real or substantive other than "a Jew." He might say, "They're basically Nazis!" or "They're people who want Palestinians to suffer!" or some other confidently incorrect hyperbolic statement. If he does so, you can say, "Oh! Well, then that's definitely not what I am," and move on.

If he says something slightly more substantive, like, "They're people who think Jews should get to take land from Arabs/Palestinians in order to have a Jewish ethnostate!" You can use the same response as above. But you can also say, "Oh, weird. That's definitely not what I thought it was. Which Zionist Jews have said this, exactly? Cuz I heard it was something completely different." Remember, their goal isn't actually to educate you or help anyone or even to provide limited but factual information. The goal is to shame you into aligning with their self-righteous point of view. That is not an effective tactic when you respond with QUESTIONS instead of outright CORRECTIONS. Making people explain themselves is a great way to defang a bad faith accusation like that.

Finally, they might say, "It's someone who supports Israel." In this case, either of the above methods will work. Or you could question even further. Here's an example of a chat:

You: Supports Israel how?

Jerkface: They want Biden to use our tax dollars to fund a genocide!

You: Oh, well then I'm definitely not a Zionist.

Jerkface: No, you don't understand! It's people who think that Jews can only be safe in a settler colonial apartheid ethnostate that justified its existence by crying about the Holocaust.

You: Well then I'm still not a Zionist. I don't know why you're assuming these things about me. But people should generally cry about the Holocaust. It was really bad thing that people did to Jews. Do you not think the Holocaust is a big deal?

Jerkface: Of course I think it was a big deal. That's why we all have to condemn THIS genocide. The Jews are the Nazis now.

You: I don't know. I don't think that' show Nazism works. But I definitely don't like genocide. If liking genocide makes a Zionist, then I'm definitely not whatever you're accusing me of.

Jerkface: No! I'm just saying that Zionists don't want a ceasefire. They're trying to kill all the Palestinians.

You: I don't know what to tell you then. Because that's still not me. Of course I want Hamas and Israel to both stop bombing each other.

Jerkface: No, Palestine is JUSTIFIED in bombing Israelis because of the oppression.

You: I think its weird that you're conflating Palestinians with Hamas. Are you saying that Palestinian civilians are bombing Israel as as a protest tactic? I thought for sure that Hamas, a terrorist organization, was the group responsible for Anti-Israeli violence. Personally, I've always though that most Palestinians just want to live in peace and don't support terrorism and violence. I don't know why it would harm Palestinians to suggest that both Israel and Hamas should end this conflict diplomatically rather than with violence.

Jerkface: Right! That's why we need to tell Biden to call for a ceaseefire!

You: OK, but I still don't know if you're saying Israel should just stop firing or that Israel and Hamas should stop bombing. I definitely want everyone to stop bombing each other. But I'm not really sure why Hamas would care about what Biden says.

etc...

I call this the "Rabbi method," because when you go to a rabbi, they never really give you an answer to your question. They answer with other questions designed to get them to see their own answer.

Either Hamas is a terrorist group unfairly targeting Israeli civilians and launching bombs into civilian territories--something that is clearly bad and which makes average Palestinian civilians innocent victims (this is the truth btw) that require both Hamas and Israel too lay down their arms. OR Palestinians and Hamas are interchangeable terms and the ongoing oppression of Palestinians have driven them to violent, offensive, armed resistance--which you may or may not agree with as a revolutionary tactic (To be clear, this is NOT TRUE OF PALESTINIANS. PALESTINIANS ARE NOT TERRORISTS AND DO NOT DESERVE TO BE BOMBED). Palestine IS NOT HAMAS. Hamas is bombing Israeli civilians.

Israel is retaliating with extreme force and prejudice against a terrorist organization in a way that is devastating the lives and futures of Palestinian Civilians, who very much deserve for all sides to lay down their weapons and address their mutual grievances diplomatically and responsibly. What is occurring right now is a messy, ugly, brutal war that is killing and traumatizing all civilians in the Levant. And a one-sided ceasefire leaves the side that ceases firing dead. A ceasefire means that EVERYONE must cease firing.

Unless Jerkface has a plan for how to ensure the safety of Palestinian civilians from Hamas that also includes Israeli safety from Hamas, asking for Israelis to simply lay down all their weapons without any guarantee of safety is asking for a nation of mostly Jews to die without putting up a fight. And wanting Arab Israelis and also Jews not to die is not what Zionism means. It's not even what pro-Israel means. That's just called not being violently antisemitic, actually.

Israelis aren't mindless Zionist Nazi Monsters who get off on killing Palestinian babies. Palestinians aren't Noble Savages who have never done anything wrong as individual people and who are inherently morally superior to every single Israeli because they were born Palestinian. Both Israelis and Palestinians are complex, global micro-minorities who have both perpetrated tremendous harm to one another over the course of several decades, and neither group is going anywhere. Neither group deserves for its people to die. Neither group is only "worth helping" if western onlookers categorize them as "innocent" and "good." If someone's activism isn't geared toward respecting the inherent dignity of Palestinians and Israelis regardless of either group's history, then that person is not engaging in activism. If someone is asking you to support that cause because their chosen cause involves perfect cinnamon rolls being targeted by pure evil enemies, then they are not asking you to join them in activism. They are not even asking you to join them in a political reality. What they are asking is for you to join their toxic fandom.

And reducing this conflict down to simplistic fandom rhetoric is not going to help anyone and is frankly offensive to all Jews, Israelis, and Palestinians--all of whom deserve to be seen for the traumatized, suffering, imperfect people they are.

People don't earn support by being good. They inherently deserve support, because they are people.

All that said, maybe it's not emotionally useful for you to engage in this group. Maybe this type of conflict is too much for you. That's OK, too.

And while I would never let antisemitism take away an opportunity for me to fulfill a dream, I will say that my experience of Antisemitism during this time is 100000000% responsible for making me realize that the dreams I had before this experience need to evolve. I no longer wish to be in the town where I live. I wish to be home with my family closeby, because when the chips are down, that's who matters. The idea of moving back to my home state was unthinkable to me before October. Now? I cannot get out of here fast enough. There's nothing I want that is exclusive to my current location anymore. The community I thought I'd built for myself is gone. And while antisemitism didn't take them from me, it sure as fuck showed me that I never had it in thee first place.

If you're going to join this collective, be sure its worth the fight. And if it's not worth the fight, then look for a place that is. Exploring your gender identity freely should not come at the cost of living your ethnic and religious identities openly. Ever.

Don't trade one closet for another. You deserve more than that. We all do.

hope that helps @kit-chaos-doodle

#ask me stuff #kit-chaos-doodle #jumblr #advice #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

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steddieas-shegoes · 10 months

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Hi friend! 👋 I’d like to submit a request, if I may. It’s not an original prompt, I don’t know where I first saw it, but I haven’t seen an actual fic with this premise yet.

Will comes out to Nancy who goes “I know nothing about this BUT I know someone who does” and brings him to Eddie, who brings both of them (bc let’s be honest Nancy isn’t letting Will out of her sight alone with Eddie) to a gay bar in Indy. Lo and behold who do they see but Steve and Robin. And it’s obvious to those who know what to look for (Eddie) that they’re both looking to get lucky. Steddie endgame (obvs lol) but maybe some Byler as well if you want/can swing it..?

I love everything I’ve read from you so far and I’m sure I’ll love everything you come up with! ❤️ thank you!!!

My star ✨✨✨ This is a future fic, but not future enough for Will to be 21 (I'm gonna put him at 19, almost 20 here so still like a tiny baby but also an adult). The first part of this is definitely Will focused, but there is more focus on Steddie at the bar itself. - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------

“Nancy? Um, can I talk to you?”

Will had been working himself up to this for weeks, months really. He came out to Jonathan and his mom officially last weekend, though they both already knew.

He wasn’t exactly good at hiding it, and around them, he didn’t really try.

But Nancy Wheeler was smart, and she was quick to come to conclusions, and probably already had figured it out.

Plus, she was decent at giving advice, and could possibly give him some insight into how Mike felt if he felt anything at all.

That was why he was here, coming out to her, being brave.

“Of course,” Nancy replied, smiling comfortingly.

She knew. He knew she knew. But he had to say it out loud, he had to get it out there to other people.

“I just have to tell you something that’s like, a big deal, and hopefully it doesn’t bother you, but also I don’t want it to be a big deal. It doesn’t have to be, actually. I just-”

“Will,” Nancy placed her hand on his shoulder, looked up at him with a knowing smirk. “Just say it.”

“I’m gay.”

There. He said it. It’s done.

Nancy nodded once, like she was confirming that she heard him, but she already knew, which was what he expected.

“Anything else?”

“Um. I’m in love with Mike?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. Anything else?”

“What do you mean it’s pretty obvious? I thought I hid it okay!”

Nancy laughed. She actually laughed.

“The only person who doesn’t notice that you’re in love with Mike, is Mike, and that’s had a few close calls. And before you ask, I have no idea how he feels. I know he’s in denial about his sexuality, so once he clears that up, who knows. But for now, let’s focus on you. What do you need from me?”

Nancy had a “let’s get down to business” attitude that Will respected, that everyone respected, but she sometimes forgot that not everything was business.

“Well, I guess just…support?”

Nancy raised her brows.

“That’s it? You already had that.”

“I guess maybe…advice?”

“I mean, I really don’t have any for Mike. He’s an enigma even to me,” she started.

“No. I mean, it would be helpful to have it, yes, but just. In general?” Will interrupted, a blush covering his cheeks.

“Oh! About…” she trailed off as she realized what he was asking.

“Okay, well I don’t know anything about that or really anything, but I know who does!” Nancy clapped her hands together.

—-------------

“Eddie?” Will asked as they stood on his porch, waiting for him to answer the door.

“Uh-huh.”

“Eddie’s gay?”

“Well, he’s bisexual, but he would be the one who knows the most,” she answered.

“Prettier Wheeler! What a surprise!” Eddie exclaimed when he opened the door. “And my favorite Byers! Were we supposed to be doing something tonight? Fuck, did I forget something? Wayne is convinced the bats ate the part of my brain that holds memory, even though they didn’t even bite my head.”

Eddie was a rambler, sort of like Robin, but he usually at least made some sense.

“No, no you didn’t forget anything. Will just needs some guidance on something,” Nancy said as she pushed her way into the trailer. “Is Wayne home?”

“Uh. Nope. Come on in, I guess,” he said, nodding at Will.

Once they were all settled on the couch and chair, Nancy gestured for Will to tell Eddie.

Will wasn’t prepared for it, but he knew he could trust him, especially if what Nancy said was true.

“I’m gay.”

It was getting easier to say out loud, just like it had been easier to say to himself when he first realized it and started letting himself think it every day.

“Amazing! Was that a secret?” Eddie asked, somewhat confused.

“Apparently not as much of one as I thought. But yeah, just my mom, Jonathan, Nancy, and you know. Officially, anyway.”

“So you have a boyfriend? Is that why you’re coming out?”

“No. I haven’t-”

“Oh, so Mike hasn’t gotten it together yet?” Eddie asked, playing with his rings distractedly.

“Nope. But it’s gonna take a big moment for that to happen. Will just needs some guidance on other stuff,” Nancy said.

“Oh! Like sex?”

Will was as red as he could possibly be.

“No! Not sex. Just, like, being gay I guess.”

Eddie looked between Will and Nancy a few times.

“Right. So let’s go,” he said as he stood up, making his way to his bedroom at the end of the hall.

Will and Nancy looked at each other, then back to where Eddie disappeared.

Before they could say anything, Eddie was back in the room, his new denim battle vest pulled on, and his boots laced up.

“Let’s go. Got places to be, queers to see!” Eddie yelled as he started moving out the front door.

“What the hell,” Nancy shrugged, getting up and following him out the door.

“What is happening,” Will said to himself as he followed them both.

—--------------

What was happening was that Eddie was taking him to a queer bar on the outskirts of downtown Indianapolis.

He’d heard of the place during his very little research of the local scene. He’d heard it was shut down twice in the 70s because of police raids, but now it was mostly just a quiet, safe place for queer people to be themselves.

The bar was laid back, only two bartenders even on the busiest nights, usually just pouring draft beers and the occasional martini. A jukebox in the corner never stopped playing, even when they only had a handful of customers.

A sign at the door said “THIRSTY THURSDAY: QUENCH YOUR THIRST AT THE BAR AND ON THE DANCE FLOOR!”

Will felt a little out of his element as he took in the amount of people crowding the bar, the tables, the small dancing area that really couldn’t even be considered a dancefloor.

Eddie seemed right at home, and he explained it was because he came pretty regularly, usually just to try to convince the owner to let his band play sometime, but he’d managed a few bathroom hookups along the way.

Will couldn’t hide his blush at that thought, knowing that he was in a place where that would not only be possible, but that it would be encouraged, maybe even expected had his mind fantasizing.

He welcomed it; Anything to get rid of the thoughts of Mike, who would probably never get his head out of his ass even if Will came out to him.

“Alright, one drink rule for the kiddo!” Eddie said as he walked to the bar with a hop to his step.

He was always exuberant, but he just seemed light here.

Will kept looking around, taking it all in.

Nancy suddenly grabbed his arm, and when he looked over, her eyes were huge.

He followed her line of sight, only getting distracted for a moment by a very attractive man who looked to be about his age.

His eyes settled on Steve and Robin.

In a queer bar.

In Indy.

“Is that-”

“It is.”

“But-”

“Uh-huh.”

Eddie came up behind them, drinks in hand.

“Alright, drink up! Take the edge off and then you can have some wonderful experiences- what are you two looking at?” Eddie looked over and his eyes widened. “Not possible.”

“It’s them.”

“But, they aren’t. Are they?”

Eddie squinted, looking at the way they were standing, what they were wearing, the way Steve was open to the room, not turned towards Robin.

“Oh my God,” he said.

“What?” Nancy’s head whipped towards him.

“How did I miss it? I spend so much time- but, no. He- and she- no.”

“Eddie, you aren’t making any sense! What?” Nancy whisper-yelled, as if anyone could hear them over the sound of everyone else talking and the music playing.

“They’re both queer! They’re here lookin’ for someone!”

“That’s impossible. Steve is the straightest person I know. I think even Mike knows he’s more likely to-” Nancy was cut off by Will hitting her arm. “What?”

“Robin just looked over here.”

“Shit.”

They all looked at each other, panic in their eyes, as they realized it was only a matter of moments before they were completely caught here.

But, really, what was there to worry about? They were here, without knowing anyone they knew would be here, clearly looking for someone.

Will turned back to them, watching as Steve and Robin both looked at them with wide eyes.

“Might as well go talk to them,” he said before walking towards them, not waiting for Nancy or Eddie to agree.

“O…kay,” Eddie sighed before following.

Nancy followed silently, and Eddie didn’t really have time to figure out what her face was doing because Steve and Robin ended up meeting them halfway.

“Hi guys!” Robin waved, awkward as always, maybe more so because of where they were. “Kinda weird seeing you here, right? Like in Indy? Or in a bar? Since Will is underage! And also this is a pretty specific establishment, so-”

“What Robin means is,” Steve starts, lines in his forehead making him look more serious than he needs to be. “Why are you in a queer bar in Indianapolis?”

Robin smacked Steve’s arm, but he didn’t even flinch, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Like he was ready to protect Robin.

And himself.

“Well, this happens to be one of my favorite bars, and Will needed to be in this type of environment for the first time, ya know?” Eddie said in a way that would definitely give away more if Robin and Steve were actually here because they were queer.

“So you’re…” Steve relaxed slightly.

“I am. Are you?”

“Um. Yeah. Yep. I am.”

“Me too,” Robin added.

“Yeah, so am I,” Will said.

All of them looked to Nancy, who suddenly seemed to catch up to the conversation.

“Oh! Um, not me! I don’t think. I’m just here for support!” She had never looked or sounded as nervous as she was in this moment.

“So how’s the crowd today?” Eddie asked.

To be honest, Eddie hadn’t bothered trying to find a hookup here for months.

The reason?

The man standing in front of him: Steve Harrington.

He’d tried, really he had.

But every time he thought he would get beyond basic flirting with someone, he thought about the way Steve sometimes touched his arm or his shoulder for longer than he needed to when he passed by him, and the way Steve would rest his head on his shoulder during movie nights, or the way he sometimes looked at him like he wanted to devour him.

Like he was right now.

Eddie would be nervous about it, but he doesn’t think Steve actually means anything by it.

He just has a very intense stare sometimes.

“Eddie!”

“Sorry! What?” He turned to see Robin and Will giving him knowing looks. “What?”

“I’m gonna take Nancy and Will over to a table that just opened up. You coming?” Robin asked.

“Sure, in a minute. Gonna run to the bathroom first,” he said, ignoring the way Steve was still watching him.

He walked away before anyone else could say anything.

He just needed a minute or two to collect himself.

The realization that Robin and Steve were here for the same reasons he was was probably going to need more than a minute or two, but he could deal with it later.

The bathroom of this place wasn’t the best, probably hadn’t been properly cleaned since the place opened, but it also wasn’t the worst place to have a minor breakdown.

He didn’t cry, but it was damn close.

It was overwhelming to know that there were others in their little group like him, but it was also just a lot to take in that those other people included Steve.

He heard the bathroom door open behind him, but he didn’t look up, just assumed it was someone else from the bar.

He stood at the sink, looking down, gathering himself to go back out and pretend this was entirely normal when a hand gripped his waist.

His head shot up and he looked in the mirror to see Steve’s reflection looking back at him, a hesitant smile on his face.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

They stared at each other in the mirror, silent except for their breathing and the muffled sound of the music from outside the bathroom.

“I didn’t know you were…”

“Me either,” Eddie said quickly.

“You didn’t know you were queer?”

“No! No. Wait. I did know that. I knew it a long time ago. I mean I didn’t know you were,” Eddie clarified, unable to properly focus on anything except the way Steve’s hand felt on his side.

His thumb was rubbing circles against his shirt, the fabric bunching up little by little.

“It’s a new-ish discovery.”

“How new?”

Steve looked down at where his hand was resting on Eddie, then back up, his face red.

“March.”

“Oh?”

Eddie caught up quickly, realized what was happening, and definitely didn’t want it to stop even though he wasn’t sure how far he wanted it to go in the bar bathroom.

“Yeah. This annoying guy who was trying to steal Dustin from me decided to get involved in all our fucked up shit and Robin informed me that the way I was acting and talking about him wasn’t very heterosexual. Her words, not mine.” Steve smirked. “So, I kinda just admitted to myself I was into him and now I’m here.”

“Oh. Is the guy at this bar right now?”

“Yeah. He is.”

Eddie turned around and pushed Steve against the bathroom door as gently as he could.

“You’ve been driving me mad for years, Stevie. You know that?”

“Years?” Steve gulped, but kept smiling.

“Years. And now you’ve given me all that I need to do something about it.”

“Have I?”

Eddie answered him with a kiss.

It wasn’t spectacular, wasn’t even that good as far as kisses go.

Steve seemed caught off guard, like he hadn’t actually expected Eddie to take what was right in front of him, take control.

But then he caught up.

His hands gripped Eddie’s hips tight, the rest of his body relaxing against the wall as Eddie crowded against him further, their fronts touching from head to feet.

Their second kiss came right after a pause for breath, and that one was spectacular.

It was longer, wetter, hotter.

Eddie didn’t want it to end.

But someone banged on the door and they couldn’t be those people.

As they moved away to let the person in, Steve leaned his head against Eddie’s shoulder, like he did on movie night.

“So you’re into me too?” He asked.

Eddie could hear the smirk in his tone, didn’t even need to look down or at their reflection in the mirror to know he was being a little shit.

“No, I just kiss all the boys who come up behind me in bathrooms.”

Steve leaned his head back and nipped at Eddie’s neck, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Behave, big boy. Gotta go pretend we weren’t five seconds from fucking around in a public bathroom,” Eddie said as he guided Steve out of the bathroom.

When they got back into the main room, Steve tensed, started to pull away.

Eddie let him, tried not to let it bother him.

But then he was back, head back on his shoulder, arm around his waist.

“Sorry. Just. Not used to this being something I can do,” he said so only Eddie could hear.

“‘S okay. We’re safe here, though.”

No one commented on it when they got back to the table, though they both could tell everyone wanted to.

Will seemed ready to explode with excitement when someone came and asked him to dance and everyone at the table encouraged him to go.

He wasn’t much of a dancer, but he’d learn.

Nancy and Robin eventually went back to the bar to grab more drinks, and Eddie couldn’t help but watch the way Nancy was looking at one of the women who was standing alone by the jukebox.

“Hey, is it possible that Nancy’s…”

“Oh, yeah. Robin and I have had at least four conversations about how much the Wheelers desperately need to admit to themselves that sexuality is fluid.”

Eddie pulled away to look down at Steve, baffled at how educated he was on everything and kind of hating himself for being surprised.

“You’re somethin’ else, sweetheart.”

Steve kissed his cheek in response.

—-------------------

Nancy came out to them a month later, at the same bar, while staring at the same woman who was standing by the jukebox the month before.

She didn’t really use a label, but didn’t feel like she had to.

Mike took a bit longer, but eventually, Will lost his patience and kissed him.

He came out about ten seconds later.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #request #coming out #will byers #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #byler is mentioned #mike wheeler is not in this but talked about #and is it really a mickala fic/ficlet/headcanon without a love confession

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