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noyaspeach · 9 months

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first light

Summary: Could this be how every day begins?

After a long and restless night with no sleep, you go looking for something to while away the hours. As it turns out, Astarion is just as much of an insomniac as you are, and the two of you spend the early morning together.

Pairing: Astarion x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 4,334

Tags: Fluff and Light Angst, Pining, Feelings Realization (Kinda?), Second Person POV, Soft Astarion, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Insomnia, Watching the Sunrise

Author's Note:

not me returning to fic-writing over 3 years later with an astarion fic of all things. i can't even guarantee i'll write another one considering i'm about to start college again, but i would sure like to!

i was heavily inspired to write this because of the release of hozier's album. it perfectly aligned with me becoming obsessed with baldur's gate 3, and astarion is just so hozier-coded, how could i not? as the title suggests, i was inspired by the song "first light" which is the last song on the album, based on dante's ascent out of hell and his first taste of light and freedom. i imagine it's how astarion must have felt when he was no longer forced to do cazador's bidding and when he could finally experience sunlight again.

obligatory disclaimers: i haven't actually played the game yet, so this fic is informed by clips i've seen online, gif sets, the baldur's gate wiki, and other fics. if any details in this aren't chronologically sound or if anything seems a little non-compliant with the canon of the game... now you know why lol.

still, i hope you enjoy it! this is also posted to ao3! read here!

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You stare up at the ceiling of your tent, frustration rolling in your chest as you struggle to rest. Your eyes are beginning to sting with the lack of sleep, but simply closing them does nothing to help. You’ve gone through all of your belongings twice already, looking for something to ease you into slumber, but no amount of reading or alcohol seems to do the trick. It certainly doesn’t help that the weather has been oppressively humid all night, leaving you coated in a thin, sticky layer of sweat that doesn’t seem to leave you no matter how many layers you shed.

You can’t bear to lay around in the thick air of your tent, so you decide to sit out by the extinguished campfire in the hopes that it will do more to relax you.

You quietly open your tent flap and emerge into the mild morning air. It’s much cooler outside, and a light breeze tickles your arm, already doing wonders to dry your sweat. It’s still too early for daylight, so the camp is only dimly illuminated by the moonlight. With the lack of light, you listen out for the sounds of the forest around you: the chirps of insects beneath you, hooting owls in the distance, and a trickling stream not too far away. Focusing on these scarce sounds, you already feel much calmer.

After a moment of peace, you hear a rustle to your right. You whip your head toward the sound, hands ready at your weapon, when you see a familiar face emerge from the trees. You let your hands drop to your side again. It’s just Astarion. He appears to be returning to his tent, noticeably empty-handed. You wonder what he’s up to this early in the morning, and he seems to be wondering the same thing, eyeing you with an inquisitive raise of the eyebrow.

“Restless sleeper, are we?” He remarks.

“Something like that,” you reply. “Just needed some fresh air.”

You notice that Astarion is still in his sleepwear, the sleeves of his white undershirt pushed up above his elbows. “And what are you doing out?”

“Oh, you know. Searching for a midnight snack, so to speak.” He gestures to the woods behind him. “Unfortunately, there isn’t a very fine selection tonight.”

You grimace at the thought of Astarion catching an innocent woodland creature between his teeth. It’s a less-than-flattering image, one that’s informed by the memory of the boar he drained a while back, and one that you’re eager to dismiss.

“Is that all you’ve been up to?” You ask.

“Why? Were you getting lonely without me?” He teases. You can only roll your eyes in response. When he doesn’t receive a retort, Astarion sighs and continues. “Right, if you want an honest answer, I was going for a stroll to pass the time.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Wandering about on your own while everyone’s asleep isn’t a very good idea. If something happens out there, none of us will be able to save you”

“Trust me, darling, I can hold my own just fine. But I appreciate you worrying about my safety. It’s almost touching.” He smirks. “I would appreciate it even more if you would refrain from telling the others about my… routine here. I don’t exactly want the company.”

“Routine? How long have you been taking these walks?”

“Since the day I joined you all, I would say.” Astarion’s eyes move to the entrance of his own tent. “I haven’t been able to get much sleep myself, and I figure there isn’t much use laying on my bedroll if I’m not resting or satisfying… other needs. So, I walk. And occasionally feed.”

You search Astarion’s face for any sign of deception, but he’s being surprisingly truthful, if a little bashful. You resonate with his sleeplessness, being something of an insomniac yourself. Despite the immense toll your travels have taken on your body, you can’t seem to rest very easily at all, especially when you need it the most. Whether it’s the vivid memories of past battles replaying in your dreams, the smothering climate of whatever campsite you’ve picked out that night, or the relentless wriggling of the tadpole in your head, there’s always something keeping you up.

“I’m surprised I haven’t caught you earlier, then,” you say. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you,” says Astarion. He smiles, and it seems he means it too. “Well, seeing as neither one of us will be getting to bed anytime soon, would you care to join me?”

You cross your arms. “I thought you would have preferred to be alone.”

“Misery loves company and all. I think I can make an exception for a fellow night owl,” he drawls.

You agree to walk with him then and quietly head in the opposite direction of both tents. You’re sure to bring your weapon with you in the off chance that something—or someone—attacks the two of you. A very small part of you still garners some suspicion for Astarion himself, especially considering that night in which he tried to feed from you while you slept. Perhaps that’s another factor in your insomnia; although you let Astarion drink his fill that night, you can’t be entirely sure he won’t try it again. That he won’t succeed in creeping up on you and draining you completely.

You shiver at the thought, but pass it off as a cold chill from the wind. As the two of you slowly move from the campsite, your surroundings become even quieter. The chirping insects from before are silent now, and the nearby stream is barely a whisper. You can hardly hear either of your footsteps. It’s at once peaceful and unsettling.

After a few short minutes, you’re the first to break the silence. “What do you usually do when you’re out here?”

Astarion thinks for a moment, and hums. “Hmm. Aside from hunting, I suppose I just sit with my thoughts. There isn’t much else to do, is there?”

You nod, but somehow you don’t think being left with one’s own thoughts is particularly relaxing for anyone in your party. You can’t imagine it’s any good for Astarion, especially.

“And what do you think about?”

“So much,” he says. “Plans, mostly. Where our next destination is, where I’ll find my next meal, what I’ll do when we reach Baldur’s Gate, how to get rid of this wretched parasite…”

“Do you ever think about your past?”

Astarion’s gaze is a bit distant until you ask that. He slows his pace and turns to you, looking unusually serious. “I prefer not to.”

He leaves it at that, so you decide not to push further. You only know a little about Astarion’s life before the tadpole entered his mind. You know he’s the spawn of an even more powerful vampire, a master to whom he was a slave for nearly 200 years, and you know he’s lived in the shadows up until now. It isn’t lost on you that this entire adventure is his first taste of freedom in centuries. You understand why he would rather focus on the future. Still, your nagging curiosity makes you desperate for more information about him.

“What about you, my dear?” He returns to his more amused attitude. “What do you do in that tent of yours to pass the time until the morning comes? Don’t tell me if it’s anything naughty… Actually, do.”

You shake your head and suppress a smile as he actually almost earns a laugh from you. “Nothing like that. I normally just try to distract myself until I can hopefully fall back asleep. Read something, sort my wares, hum a tune. Anything to relax.”

“I take it that hasn’t been working for you?”

“No. Not one bit. I’m actually kind of worried it might start affecting my performance from now on. Unlike some of the elves in this team, I actually need quite a lot of rest.”

“A true shame,” he tuts. “Although it is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I don’t need to sleep for very long. On the other, I can’t sleep for very long. Sometimes I do wish I could simply let the whole day pass while I doze off. That would be much easier than just waiting it out.”

You hadn’t considered this. While the rest of your traveling companions are able to sleep through the night, Astarion has no choice but to wait for everyone to wake up around sunrise. All he can do is hope to get a few hours of rest before sitting through the unnerving silence of the night, the only unique sounds being the faint snores and mumbles that float from the other tents. You and he are alike in this struggle, but you at least are lucky enough to have a few nights when your exhaustion is bad enough to force you to bed.

“Well, taking a stroll like this is a good idea,” you finally say. “Thank you for inviting me along.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of Astarion’s lips. “Thank you for joining me. I will admit, it’s easier to pass the time with a… friend… by my side.”

Your heart swells at that word: “friend.” It’s a welcome upgrade from whatever you two might have been considered before.

A few minutes pass with the both of you chatting politely. As you walk, you make note of your surroundings to ensure that you don’t stray too far from camp or encounter any traps. This occupies your mind for a while, but Astarion seems to be running out of topics to discuss. Not wanting him to abandon your little trip just yet, you try to think of something to entertain him. Looking out at the forest and the sky in front of you, you notice that the moon has begun its descent into the trees, meaning morning is almost upon you two. This gives you an idea.

You stop and pivot to face Astarion. He stops too, surprised at your sudden pause.

“What is it?” He asks.

"Would you like to watch the sunrise with me?”

He’s taken aback only momentarily before he adopts his familiar flirtatious demeanor. “Trying to turn this into a romantic tryst, are you? If you want something more, you’ll have to be a little more direct than that.”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t mean anything by it. I want to know if you’ll sit and watch the sun come up with me. That’s all. It should be rising soon enough. It’s almost morning.”

He seems puzzled, his brows tightening and eyes scanning your face for any indication that you may be holding something back. When he doesn’t find anything, he settles back into an easy expression. “I seem to have misjudged. My apologies… Yes, I wouldn’t mind sitting with you.”

“Great.” You smile and begin to walk again. “I heard some water earlier, so I think there may be a stream near here. Maybe it’ll make for a nice spot.”

Astarion follows as you lead him closer to the sound of running water, and the two of you shortly come upon the stream. It’s a small, shallow brook that separates the woods from which you emerge and another expanse of trees on the other side. Right along the edge of the water is a line of smooth rocks big enough to sit on. It’s the perfect place to set up, you think.

The two of you find purchase on the edge of the rocks, feet just barely dangling off the side, hovering above the calmly flowing water. The rocks aren’t terribly big, so the two of you sit side-by-side, your knees close enough to touch. Across the brook, the trees begin to thin out, leaving a clear view of the horizon. You estimate that the sun will start its ascent in the next few minutes, but for now, the scene in front of you remains thinly bathed in moonlight.

In the quiet of the dawn, the moon casts its silvery glow on the world beneath it. Every blade of grass, every dewy flower, every mossy stone radiates with a hazy blue hue. The stream beneath you reflects this onto both of your faces, and you give a sideways glance to your companion next to you. You watch as the light dances across his cheeks, admiring how it shines in his curls, how it glistens in his deep red eyes, and how it collects in the space just above his lips. You inhale and the earthy scent of the forest mixes with the smell of Astarion’s perfume in your nose. As you do so, you realize now just how close in proximity you are to him. You’re close enough to trace his silhouette from the slope of his nose to his slender neck with your fingers if you so choose. You glimpse at the puncture marks just below his jaw and remember once more the night you let him drink from you. You remember the moment you awoke in terror before you realized who was crouched above you. You remember the uncertainty you felt as you gave him permission to continue, not sure whether it was a wise decision or not. You remember the sharp sting of his teeth entering your skin and the almost exhilarating dizziness that followed as he coaxed your blood out with his tongue. The rest of that moment is a blur to you, but you can still distinctly recall how he cradled your head with one hand, the other gently ghosting down your spine. For almost a full day after that night, the smell of bergamot and rosemary lingered on your neck.

“You do know staring is rude, don’t you, darling?” Astarion says. “Not that I particularly mind.” He leans back on his arms and turns to face you. “Not when it’s you.”

Your cheeks flush in spite of the cool temperature. You wonder when it was you became so vulnerable to Astarion’s flirting. Even though you have, you try not to entertain it. After all, you suspect his charming behavior is at least partly a ruse.

“Sorry,” you mutter and look back at the horizon. “It’s very pretty out. It’ll be even prettier in just a few more minutes, too. We’re in the perfect spot to watch the sun come up.”

“Is that so?” Astarion tilts his head as he continues to behold you. “You know, I’ve never watched the sunrise like this.”

You twist to look at him again, utterly shocked. “Seriously? Not once?”

He shakes his head.

“How come?”

He sighs. “I’m sure I must have before… everything. But I can’t seem to remember anything from back then. I lost most of my memories when I was brought back, save for a few of the important details. I suppose sunrises weren’t important enough to stick.” He frowns and stares out at a canopy of trees in the distance. “Then, as you know, it would have been incredibly stupid for me to be out in the light with this condition of mine. So, I never tried. I didn’t have very many opportunities to do so, in any case.”

Your brow furrows, but you don’t say anything. Instead, you let Astarion continue at his own pace.

“...I spent decades in my master’s lair, a- a dungeon, really. I was trapped in the darkness. The only time I was allowed out was when he needed fresh, new bodies, and even then it was always under the cover of night. For the longest time, that was all that I knew. In a way, it’s what I’m still used to…”

Suddenly his sleeplessness makes all the more sense to you.

“I know I’m free from that now, what with the tadpole and all, but…” He trails off. You understand.

After several beats of silence, you clear your throat.

“Once, when I was a child, I went playing in the woods with some of the other children in the village. There were maybe six of us in total? I don’t exactly remember. But we marched all the way from the market to the forest pretending we were a band of heroes. I was at the back of the line, right behind this boy that I really liked. I put myself there on purpose so that I could smile and blush as much as I wanted without him seeing me.”

“How cute,” Astarion comments with a quirked eyebrow.

“Yeah. I mean, I thought I was being clever, but it was pretty silly, wasn’t it? Anyways, when we entered the woods, we decided to split off into teams to see who could find the most ‘treasure.’ We just plucked up sticks, flowers, beetles, pinecones, that kind of stuff. I was paired with the boy I liked, and I was so giddy about it. I wanted to show him just how cool I was, so I climbed up every tree and jumped off every rock. Just hearing him laugh and clap for me was enough for me to keep going. So, I did. Before we knew it, we realized we had strayed too far from the rest of the group. We tried to call out to them but heard nothing in return. We were lost.”

You pause your story to get a brief look at Astarion. You half-expect him to be bored by this point, but you’re surprised to see that he’s giving you his full attention. He waves his hand, signaling for you to continue.

“We started playing late into the evening, so by the time we realized that we had no clue where we were, the sun had already begun to set. I remember cursing myself for wishing I could have some alone time with this boy because that wasn’t at all what I had had in mind. But, alas, that was the situation I was stuck in. When it reached midnight and we still hadn’t made our way back to the village, I started panicking. You should know that I used to be deathly afraid of the forest at night. I was terrified of what kind of creatures could be hiding, waiting to snatch me up and eat me alive.”

“Hmm, like vampires?” Astarion teases.

You smirk. “Precisely. You’ll remember, though, that I was stuck with the boy I liked. So, there was no way I could show that I was scared. I couldn’t display any sign of weakness or else he might not think I was as cool as I let off. Knowing this, I put on a brave face and silently begged the gods for some protection before I assembled a makeshift camp for the two of us. It was, admittedly, very shitty, but it did its job of giving us some shelter for the night. I told him he could sleep and that I would keep watch, and so I did. I didn’t sleep very much back then, either, now that I think about it. I guess not a lot has changed about me… But I digress. I stayed up the whole night, sitting outside our little fort, listening to him snore and talk in his sleep. I don’t think I could have left his side if I wanted to, considering how petrified I was. But I powered through the fear, for his sake. I was so young, but I cared about this boy so much that I felt I owed it to him to make sure he was safe.”

“You were quite the hero, even back then,” Astarion says gently. “Is this little story your way of telling me to be more selfless?”

“Not at all. I’m getting to the point, I promise. I sat there for hours as I waited for it to become day again. Eventually, I was able to focus on the more beautiful parts of the night: the moon, the stars, the lightning bugs, the sweet whisper of the wind through the leaves. The more I searched for the good in my situation, the less scared I became, until I was no longer scared at all. By the time dawn rolled around, I was at peace, actually. I was so proud of myself for making it through the night, I immediately woke the boy up to share the moment with him. Then, we sat together, kind of like this,” You gesture to your and Astarion’s seating position, “and just watched the sunrise in perfect silence. I had never watched the sunrise before. It was so nice, getting to quietly enjoy such a wonderful view with someone I loved.”

As you finish your story, you face Astarion once more. His gaze is soft as he listens to you speak, and the tender curl of his lips betrays a sincere gratitude for having shared this with him.

“Did anything ever happen between you and that boy?” He asks.

“Sadly, no. He eventually fell for some other girl in town. Last I heard, they had three kids together.”

“Hmm.” Astarion angles his chin away from you. “Well, that’s his loss.”

You look away, too, and smile to yourself.

Suddenly, the sky begins to transform before your eyes. The first gleams of sunlight begin to caress the horizon as the moon takes its final bow behind you. The forest, still coated with all the glimmering remnants of morning dew, stirs from its slumber under the streams of the emerging sun. As the sun slowly rises, its warm embrace spreads like honey between the trees, flooding the forest floor with rays of pink and amber. Shafts of light pierce through the lush foliage, creating scintillating patterns on the surface of the water that seem to dance at the promise of a new day. Finally, when the sun peers at you from above the treetops, it’s as if the sky erupts. A burst of brilliance envelopes the world below it in its welcoming embrace, casting everything in a blazing golden light.

You begin to say something to Astarion but stop when you see his face. He looks positively radiant. His face glows in the daylight, appearing even more magnificent than he did in the moon’s silver beams. His face and his hair are colored by the sun, making him look more alive than he ever has before. Every detail from the strands in his eyebrows to the smallest of moles is illuminated before you. You watch as his eyes glisten before softly fluttering closed. He breathes deeply, his chest slowly rising and falling, and he basks in the sunlight. He relaxes completely, letting the sun’s rays melt away any and all tension he may have been holding on to.

You want nothing more than to cup his face in your hands, then, and feel the newly imbued warmth of his skin as you press your lips to his. Instead, however, you carefully place your hand on top of his. His eyes blink open and he turns to look at you once more. You hesitate for a moment, ready to move away, but he doesn’t reject you. His eyes crinkle with appreciation and he laces your fingers together before gently stroking his thumb against the side of your hand. His skin is still a bit cold, but thanks to you, it quickly warms up.

The two of you sit there in tranquility, taking in all of the sights, sounds, and feelings of the early morning. Time seems to slow, then, as if the universe itself also wishes to savor this serene moment for just a little while longer.

Soon, you hear the distant sound of casual conversation as the others awaken for yet another day of arduous traveling. You sigh, knowing that the two of you will have to return to camp shortly and leave all of this behind. You don’t want to let go just yet.

“We should probably get back,” Astarion says first. “I wouldn’t want the others to think that I killed you and scurried off or something like that.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be very good for morale,” you joke. After a moment, you reluctantly untwine your fingers and push yourself up off the rocks. You extend a hand to Astarion to help him up, which he graciously accepts.

Neither of you moves at first until Astarion takes a step toward you. Standing so close to you, you wonder if he’s about to kiss you when he gingerly takes hold of your hands. He gives you that sincere smile again.

“Thank you again for this. It was… nice.” You almost can’t believe how vulnerable he seems right now, eyes staring into yours with no hint of false pretenses. “I’d like to do this again with you, if you’ll join me.”

“I would love to.”

“Wonderful,” he says. He lets go of you. “Shall we then?”

The two of you take your time walking back to the campsite, talking idly about what the next few days have in store. When you arrive, Karlach is the first to notice you.

“There you two are! We were beginning to worry.” She looks between you both and crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes mischievously. “Anything we should know about your disappearance?”

You chuckle. “Nothing that would excite you, Karlach.”

You walk past her and approach your tent. The rest of your team is already getting to work cleaning their weapons, armor, and other equipment, preparing to hunt, or strategizing together. Before you duck inside to retrieve your clothes for washing, you turn back and lock eyes with Astarion. He’s entered a conversation between Shadowheart and Gale, but he isn’t all that engaged. He shoots you a knowing look and another small smile which you return in kind.

As you wash your clothes in the river just south of the camp, you think fondly of the promise you’ve now made with Astarion and the many sunrises to come. Suddenly, insomnia doesn’t seem so bad.

#astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion baldur's gate #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #i want to give astarion so much love pls

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writingwithciara · 3 months

Text

He Never Will ~Jack Hughes~

summary: jack loves his best friend and only wants to protect her from the worlds shittiest boyfriend

word count: 3.6k

pairing: jack hughes x reader, reader x shitty boyfriend

notes: based off the song by alexander stewart (my birthday twin 💕). i've recently become obsessed with this song & haven't put anything out for jack yet so i figured i'd write this for him [TW: toxic relationship with abuse]

masterlist

jack was in love with his best friend. it was cliche and he knew it but he didn’t care. the only thing he cared about was making sure she didn’t find out.

her boyfriend could tell though. he saw the way jack looked at y/n & he hated hearing him talk about her to other people as if he was the one dating her.

it was like a game to hunter though. well, more of a test really.

he had suspicions that y/n was into jack so every once in a while, he would pick a fight with her just to see if she ran crying to jack. and most of the time, she did.

when she didn’t run to her best friend, she would run to his brother or the captain of his hockey team. but to hunter, it didn't matter who she ran to. The point was that she ran to another guy and he didn't like it.

but she always went back to him, no matter how bad he treated her and jack hated that. he knew she deserved better and he wanted to be the one she chose. jack wanted her to stay on one of the many nights she ran to him.

but she never did.

if he don't know what he's got now, he never will

it was the night before jack was supposed to head up to toronto for the all-star game when y/n came back to his place.

the tears were pouring down her face as jack let her into his apartment without a word. he could never bring himself to say i told you so, especially not when she was in such a vulnerable state.

a few minutes of silence passed as they sat on the end of his bed before jack spoke up.

"so what happened tonight?"

"i don't even really know. i got home from work and he was in the middle of trashing my apartment. he said something about me not being faithful to him, which is total bullshit. and i know we have our fights and shit on a daily basis, and that's alright. but tonight felt different. like if i had stayed any longer, maybe he would've hit me or something."

jack looked at her face for any sign of a mark, fearing that she may have been hiding something from him. but there was nothing so he let it slide.

"i'm gonna take you home and i want you to pack a bag as quickly as you possibly can."

"why?" she wiped her eyes and looked at jack.

"you're coming with me to toronto."

"are you nuts? that's only going to make this worse, jack."

"i'm going to be gone for a week and there's no way in hell that i'm leaving you alone with him for that long with no guarantee of safety."

"i'll still have nico. and luke even."

"please just do this for me? i'm worried about leaving you with hunter. i swear the kid's just begging to get his ass beat."

"jack, if i promise to go with you to toronto, will you promise to try to get along with hunter when we get back?"

"y/n, i've already tried. he's a lost cause honestly."

"can we not have this conversation again? i'm tired of hearing it." y/n sighed with frustration and stood up. she began to pace around jack's room.

"until you see how much better you are than hunter, i'm gonna keep bringing it up. and the fact that you've heard it more than once should be enough to tell you something!" jack raised his voice but regretted it immediately when y/n started to cry. "please just listen to me okay? look, i care about you and i only want what's best for you. i'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything. i'm sorry if i upset you." jack pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back as she sobbed.

y/n cried for a good 10 minutes before she finally spoke again.

"i'm not upset with you, jack. i could never be. i'm upset with myself because i know i shouldn't be with someone like hunter but i love him so much and i can't just walk away from that." she looked up at jack and smiled when he wiped her tears away. "please don't hate me for staying with him."

"i could never ever hate you. i hope you know that." he rubbed her back soothingly. "and although i don't support you staying with him, i'm always here if you need me and i'm never ever leaving your side, okay?"

"okay." y/n nodded with a shy smile.

"so, will you please come to toronto with me?"

jack and y/n ended up meeting up with luke and nico before the boys took y/n back o her apartment to get her stuff. luckily for them, hunter was nowhere to be found.

y/n packed a bag quickly and left a little note for hunter. jack didn't agree with that idea, fearing hunter would come find her and do something terrible. but luke and nico assured him that y/n would be safe with them while at the game.

the 4 of them got in the car and were on the plane in no time. y/n took the window seat and jack sat next to her.

"what's going on in your mind?"

"part of me just...i don't know...i feel a little bad for hunter. maybe he's only like this because he didn't get a whole lot of positive attention growing up."

"don't feel bad for that piece of shit, y/n. he doesn't deserve you. and his lack of positive attention is no excuse for the way he treats you. i really hope you understand that someday." jack sighed and changed the topic.

for the rest of the flight, nico did most of the talking while luke did everything he could to keep a smile on y/n's face, even if it was only a small one. he accepted it either way.

when they got to the hotel they were staying at, the lady at the front desk gave them 2 keys. jack handed one to y/n and the group went up to their rooms. y/n wasn't a fan of being alone but at least the boys were just next door if she needed them.

the first night in toronto was not great. y/n woke up from a nightmare screaming and she couldn't bring herself to stop crying. jack heard her scream and was in her room in seconds. his heart broke when he saw the state she was in so he stayed with her for the next two nights.

on draft day, y/n was sitting with nico and luke as they watched the event unfold. she excused herself to use the bathroom and while she was gone, her phone buzzed in her seat.

it was a series of texts from hunter. nico and luke took it upon themselves to respond.

the two boys shared a look before y/n returned. she noticed their weird behavior and raised an eyebrow.

"you weirdos doing alright?"

"yeah. never better." nico lied and turned his attention back to the draft.

"hunter texted you while you were in the bathroom and we answered him."

"luke!" nico shot his teammate a look before looking over at y/n beside him.

"what did you guys do that for?" y/n opened her phone and went through the messages. "i could've handled it, you guys."

"we're all tired of him treating you like you mean nothing to him. that's not how you deserve to be treated." luke sighed.

"we're sorry, y/n." nico sighed. "we just love you so much."

"i'm not sorry."

"luke!" nico shot him another glare and rolled his eyes.

"i'm sorry, okay? but it had to be said. y/n deserves better than what she has and if you guys want to tell me different, then go right ahead. but we all know the truth." luke sighed. y/n placed her hand on his shoulder and hugged him.

"i know you guys are looking out for me, and i love you for it. so much." y/n looked over at nico. "can you guys let jack know that i'm gonna head back to new jersey before hunter gets here? i need to go pack my stuff."

"are you leaving him?"

"yeah." she stood up and sighed. "i don't know where i'm gonna go though."

"crash at jack's. you know he won't mind."

"yeah because he's in love with her." luke chuckled, earning another glare and a wide-eyed expression from y/n.

"that's supposed to be a secret, luke."

"oh, my bad. i thought she knew."

"that's a conversation for another day. i got something to focus on right now. but i won't forget you told me." y/n kissed luke's head and gave nico a hug before heading back to the hotel to pack. she left a note for jack because she knew the boys would forget to tell him.

when everything was done, y/n found herself back on the plane to new jersey.

the flight wasn't long but it gave her some time to think about what luke told her. she was shocke but everything was hitting her all at once.

had jack always felt this way?

when the plane landed, y/n got in the first cab she could find and headed to her apartment. as the car approached the building, y/n was suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread. she didn't want to end up running into hunter on the off chance he hadn't actually gone to toronto.

she slowly unlocked the front door and made her way inside. when there was no sign of hunter, y/n let out a sigh of relief before making her way to the bedroom.

she grabbed her suitcase and started throwing all her clothes into it. unfortunately, she only made it through half her clothes before she heard the door open and close. she tried to hide the fact that she was leaving but hunter entered the room before she could do anything.

"why would you feel the need to lie about where you were going?"

"you wouldn't have let me go support my best friends, hunter. i had no other choice. lying was my only option. plus i needed a damn break."

"what could you have possibly needed a break from?"

"from you. you're constantly keeping track of my whereabouts and you won't let me spend any time with my friends. the only time i get to see jack is whenever you start some pointless argument and drive me away for a night. it's getting to the point where i need to put my own mental health above everything."

"what the fuck are you trying to say?"

"i'm leaving, hunter. this is too much." y/n went to grab her bag but hunter gripped her wrist firmly.

"you're not going anywhere."

"let me go!"

"you're not going anywhere." he repeated, this time with emphasis on each word.

"i swear to god, if you don't let me go, i'll-"

"you'll what? call jack to come rescue you like always? well you can't. he's in toronto and i-"

at this point, y/n was tired of him and his comments about jack. she reached for the nearest object and swung it at his arm. hunter released his grip on her and before he could grab her again, she grabbed her suitcase and used it to keep some distance between them.

"i'll be back for my other stuff later."

"whatever, bitch."

y/n rolled her eyes and hurried out of the apartment. when she got in her car, she broke down and facetimed jack.

he picked up with a smile but it disappeared when he saw her tears.

"what happened? why did you go back to jersey?"

"i thought hunter was gonna be in toronto...and i figured i'd take that opportunity to come home and pack my stuff & leave the apartment. but he came home and...." y/n began to sob harder. "he hurt me, jack. hs grabbed my arm and it hurts so much. i don't know why i'm calling you when there's nothing you can do about it now."

"bullshit. i'm getting on the next flight home and i'm going to kick that douchebag's ass."

"jack, you're a captain of an all star team. you can't leave. quinn needs you there."

"but you need me there more." jack moved around the hotel room to pack his bag. "besides, quinn has elias and if he really needs another hughes, luke is here too. plus, i can't even compete in the all-star game so there's really no point in me being here."

"but this is important to you, jack."

"y/n, you are more important than any hockey game, all-star or not. you are my best friend and i'm going to be there for you when you need me to be." he looked at his laptop. "i'll be home in about 5 hours, okay?"

"okay." y/n sniffled and wiped her eyes. "is it alright if i-"

"of course you can stay with me. you don't even have to ask." jack smiled softly at the girl on his screen. "want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"please? i mean, if you don't mind." y/n propped her phone in the holder and began driving to jack's apartment.

"anything for you. you know that." jack kept y/n on the phone while he knocked on luke and nico's door. luke answered and smiled at his brother.

"hey. what's up?"

"i'm heading home. y/n needs me."

"just how in love with her are you?" luke smirked, not even realizing that y/n's face was on jack's screen and she could hear everything.

"dude, she's on the phone." jack's eyes darted down to his phone and back to luke's, whose eyes only widened when he realized.

"cat's out of the bag. oops." luke went to shut the door. "good luck, jack."

luke shut the door completely and jack looked back at his phone.

"for the record, luke is an idiot and i wouldn't listen to anything he says ever."

"never do." y/n smiled. jack returned the smile and couldn't help but stare at her as he headed down to the lobby to hail a cab.

"i won't be able to talk to you while i'm on the flight but i'll call you when i land, okay?"

"okay." y/n pulled into the parking lot of jack's building and got out. as she made her way into the apartment, part of her felt relieved. it felt like she was home.

"alright. the flight is boarding but i'll make sure to call you when i land. help yourself to anything in the apartment. there's some bath bombs and bubble bath at the back of my closet in case you want to take a nice, relaxing bath."

"thanks again, jack. for everything. i really appreciate you. have a safe flight."

"i will. love you."

"love you too." y/n smiled and hung up. she made her way into jack's room and pulled the bath stuff out from his closet. she ran the water for her bath and put on some calming music while also lighting a few candles. she put the cotton candy bath bomb in the water and when it was filled, she got in.

she hadn't even been paying attention to the time when jack got home. he stumbled in through the door with a busted lip and a shiny black eye.

"jesus christ. what the hell happened to you?"

"i'm sorry. i know you don't like it when i get violent off the ice, but i had to stop at hunter's before i came home. he hurt you so i hurt him. tit for tat i guess."

"how bad did you hurt him?"

"pretty bad. he's like 10 times worse than me right now."

"you didn't have to do that for me, jack." y/n looked at the cut on his lip. "now let's go clean up your lip and see if we can do something about that eye." y/n grabbed his hand and brought him to the bathroom. she sat him on the edge of the tub and grabbed a rag from the bin, running it under some warm water.

jack watched her every move intently, afraid that if he looked away, she would fade into a memory.

y/n wiped the dried blood from his face and started looking through her own bag for something to heal the black eye faster.

"you know, i don't hate it when you get violent off the ice, especially when it's to defend me. kinda think it's hot that you would put yourself in the way of violence if you're protecting me." she applied a cream to his left eye and placed a gentle kiss just below the bruise. when she pulled away from his face, she made eye contact with him. "i love you but can you please stop getting into fights?"

"thought you found it hot when i did." jack smirked.

"i do. but i also don't like seeing you get hurt." y/n ran her hands through his hair slowly while his hands held her waist. he tugged her closer and hugged her tightly.

"you're truly a blessing and i hate that hunter could never realize what he had."

"hopefully he realizes what he had now that he's lost it."

"you would never go back to him again, would you?" jack moved his had from his resting spot on her stomach and looked up at her.

"and leave you? no chance in hell will that ever happen." y/n knelt down to be at eye level with him.

there was something about the way he was looking at her that made her feel like they were alone in the world.

jack looked at her and he swore his heart began to beat faster. her gaze was focused on his lips and she tried to look away but she couldn't.

when jack's thumb reached up to draw delicate circles on her cheek, she knew she was screwed.

for years she was telling herself that she didn't have feelings for jack but here they were now, in the bathroom, sharing an intimate moment.

the feelings hit her hard and before she knew it, she was pulling jack in for a gentle kiss. when she tried to pull away, jack held her cheeks and poured everything into the kiss.

by the time the kiss ended, they were both out of breath and their faces were red. jack had a playful smirk on his face as he admired y/n's features.

"you are so incredibly beautiful, y/n. can't believe hunter would treat you so badly."

"how about we stop talking about that asshole & instead focus on this?" she gestured between them and smirked. "i love you and i'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"i'm sorry i never told you how i felt." jack continued to hold onto her face while y/n held his arms. "in case it's not obvious now, i do actually love you. but how could i not? i mean you are the most incredible human being & definitely the most precious person i've ever known. you are perfect in every way and i will spend the rest of my life showing you how you deserve to be loved. i-if that's alright with you."

"you are all i want and all i need jack. forever and always, since forever." she wrapped her pinky around his and smiled. a simple gesture that's been part of their lives since they were 9 but they loved it because it meant more to them than anyone could ever know.

taglist: @worldlxvlys @fearfam69691

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #nhl x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #new jersey devils #jh86

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blingblong55 · 10 months

Text

Talk to me- Gary "Roach" Sanderson

Based on a request:

hii!! your writing is so good and i love it so much ueueue…can i please…PLEASE…i need a few crumbs of gary roach sanderson…where he breaks his usual silence to suddenly flirt back with a gender neutral reader who had been flirting a lot with him on the comms

A/N: I know we all say and some confirm Roach is mute but let's pretend he isn't for rn.

GN!Reader, fluff?

Being friends with the quietest man on your team, Roach is a task that is harder than any other mission you've had. He is always writing in his journal, occasionally looking at you with a small smile. Soap teases him nonstop, something that Roach has gotten used to. You and he talk very rarely, in missions he only addresses you when needed. Out of all the men you work with, he is the one who is the most respectful and reserved. Ghost had that title until he started telling jokes to the team.

Price recently made the decision to send Roach with you on a mission, something that is rare considering you and Gaz are the ultimate teammates. As you board onto the Heli, Roach patiently waits his turn to get on. You two land close to the place you'll call base for the duration of the assignment. Three long months in the forest with the quietest man, nothing too much to expect.

By month 1, he had gotten used to you doing all the talking, telling him the awful jokes that only made you laugh. He had a sense you spent more time with Ghost than you admit to. During one of the times he and you went to scout for a perfect spot to use as an observational post, Gary finally said more than his typical words.

"Grim, there's a huge hole in the ground, watch your step."

"How'd you find that out?"

"Almost fell because of it."

"Thought you were smarter than that."

"Clearly not."

It was the most he had spoken since you two got into the country for the mission. To be honest, you thought he held some grudge over you but are relieved he cared for you not to fall into the hole he almost fell into. As the mission continued on, and another month passed, he made it clear he was only here for business. Which was in part annoying since you had already gotten used to the other men in your team talking nonstop.

The final night, the day you and he had to execute the mission with precision, he finally spoke more. Currently, you were climbing a tree and he hoped on comms to talk you through it.

"Don't fall."

"With that accent, who wouldn't"

"Watch it, Grim"

You laugh a little, "Oh, c'mon, let me take you on a date."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"You ruined me asking you out." You could hear the smile in his voice.

"What a shame then."

"Very."

When you finally got off, you walked to the marked weak spots of the enemy's base. The whole time you and him were being very flirty and joking around with each other. He knew it and you knew it, it was all to keep yourself occupied over comms as you two walked through the forest, separate from the other.

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Go ahead."

"What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?"

"What?"

"A seasoned veteran."

"You can do better."

"Ouch."

You two eventually reached the points from which you'd be camping.

"See me?"

"No."

"Boo."

"Hoo."

"Terrible, Roach"

"Says the one with the shit jokes."

"Bold of you to assume they are shit."

"Bold of you to assume they aren't."

It was 0200, only 30 minutes to go until attack time. You were bored and decided to flirt, to keep yourself going and to look forward to some better conversations after the mission.

"Roach?"

"Yes, Grim?"

"Do you fancy me like I fancy you?"

"Not one bit."

"Tell the truth."

"Oh totally in love, Grim." he chuckles

After more silence.

"Want me to dance for you like the birds do it for their potential mates?"

"You are makin' me blush, Roach" You look through your scope, watching the enemy intently.

"Anything for my potential mate."

"Better see you dance or I'll feed ya to the rookies."

"That a promise or threat?"

"Guarantee."

"Better give me a headstart, R/N."

"Aren't you fast enough to outrun them?"

"Not so young."

"Clearly."

"Respect your elders."

"Yes of course, where are my manners, Grandpa."

You hear him laugh a little, "You'll get us caught, my dear."

During the mission, he kept you in check, always asking for your current location, and wanting to hear your voice.

"Grim, how copy?"

"Head over heels for that voice, Roach."

"I do make the ladies/lads, crazy after all."

"Doubt it."

"Rude."

The mission was a success although you were nowhere in sight, which worried Roach more. He looked for you through the ashes of the explosion. Screaming your name.

"Grim, Talk to me, how copy?" Voice neutral.

-Static-

"Grim, no time to play jokes! How copy?" Distressed.

-Static-

"Grim, my dear, answer me." Desperate.

-Static-

"Grim?" Scared.

-Static-

"R/N?" Desperation seeps through.

-Static-

"R/N, how copy?" Has a clear answer you could be KIA-

"I'm here, fell into the hole you warned me about."

"'Course you did."

He didn't know it then but you heard him, listen to his words carefully. The once quiet man speaking, dancing with his words to hear you speak once again.

A/N: I hope this was...okay.

Tags: @vampsquerade

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irisintheafterglow · 7 months

Note

Hi, first of all I would like to say that your blog gives me so much comfort. You seem like such a loving and kind person and I love to read your writing. I adore the co-parenting series and am honestly looking forward to reading more parts <3 (no pressure tho, just wanted to say that I love it)

Actually, I wanted to make a request. The song 'Deep Sea' by 'Snail Mail' has been stuck in my head for weeks, the lyrics kill me every time and I could imagine some heartbreaking angst based on the song. I saw that you don’t write reader or character deaths and it doesn’t have to be that. Maybe a breakup or something like that, it’s really up to you and up to whatever the song might inspire you to write. For the pairing I love Gojo and also Getou or Choso, but I just want you to write whoever you like! 🤪

I had the idea for that request earlier today and made a post about it (that I have since deleted) because you came to my mind and I just really wanted to try my luck and ask you if you would maybe like to write about it 💞

Hope you’re having a great day, thank you <3

it took so long to know someone like you (gojo x you)

cw: breakup, chest-aching angst, swearing, emotionally constipated satoru where he doesn't know how to be vulnerable with someone so his first instinct is to push them away :))))))))))

note: HI!!! thank you for the love, i'm so sorry that this is so late, hopefully you still like it. pro tip, listen to travis atreo's cover of "when she loved me" along with the song mentioned to make reading this extra painful. again, thank you for the love and the ask. i hope you like this!!!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

"don't look at me like that."

"if you don't like it, stop looking," you laugh humorlessly, feeling your heart twist like a wet rag with every shallow breath. "you just told me you don't want me; i think it's valid i can look however i want." your voice breaks off at the end of the sentence and you blink at the darkening clouds above. a storm was coming, but you felt like one had already devastated you.

"that-that's not what i meant," he says through gritted teeth, avoiding your glaring eyes in shame. "i just need a break. is that so bad?" every word felt like a separate cut to your soul and you were slowly bleeding out in the fucking mall parking lot.

"but, why? i'm just not good enough for you?" you practically spit your questions like snake venom. you hoped they stung, hoped the burned into his memory like his promises that he'd give you a future. high and mighty gojo satoru, reduced to a puddle in your arms and vowing that he was yours forever. pathetic. "finally got tired of me, is that it?"

"no," he croaked. "no, no. i just-i don't know who i am when i'm with you." the sky was falling and you hoped the ground crumbled beneath your muddy shoes. "and, that scares me."

"you don't like who you are when you're with me," you echo hollowly, taking a shaky breath and pulling your jacket closer to your body like a safety blanket. "that's really a shame, since i really liked how you were with me," you huff another painfully mirthless laugh that turns into a sob. on instinct, he reaches out to touch you but you pull away like he was radioactive waste. "making all those lofty promises, letting me think that i was your forever and eternity and everything after that. you're really an asshole for that one, you know that?"

"i never said anything like that," he protests even though you know damn well that he's lying. raindrops start to catch on his hair, making it glisten like he was sent from heaven. too bad his words didn't match. "even if i said those things, i can't guarantee i actually meant it, so i'm sorry."

ouch.

"you're sorry? you're sorry?" you have to take a step backward or else you'd have actually slammed your knuckles against his infuriatingly perfect cheek. "gee, thanks! i'll remember that next time anyone says they love me," you hiss and relish in the way he flinches. "they could just be kidding, after all, right? stupid me." it took so long to finally get through to him, to stand steady enough that he let down his walls, and suddenly he was throwing them up again and shutting you out.

if you were completely honest and without your stubborn pride, you'd admit that you understood what he was talking about. it was a little lonely being with him, especially when you didn't have any more time for self-discovery without worrying about another human being. you lost track of time when you were with him and lost a little bit of yourself, too, and you weren't sure if he was adequately filling that emptiness. you had no idea how to discuss it, let alone navigate it, and it struck a crack that only grew larger. neither of you knew how to cope with this, it seemed, and that's how you ended up sobbing on the asphalt in front of the man you believed you were going to marry.

"don't you wonder who we could be without each other? we could be anyone," he insists but nothing gets through to you.

"i don't know who i am without you, satoru," you whisper defeatedly and it's like you can hear his heart start to crumble. he did this to you, and you watched him realize it in real-time. he didn't know what he was saying anymore. he felt too far deep in that he didn't remember why he was asking for a break in the first place. all that he knew was that he was hurting you and every nerve in his body screamed at him to fix it, fix it, fix it. you sigh tiredly, shivering in the cold sheets of water that were starting to fall. "look, if you need time, then take it. take all that you need."

"but-"

"no. i can't do this to myself if you won't even try anymore. goodbye satoru. a stupid part of me still loves you." as you slip into your car and accelerate away from him, he doesn't have the chance to say it back.

to tell you that the stupid whole of him still loved you, too.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#WHEN SHE LOVED ME FROM TOY STORY CAME ON WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS AND I BROKE DOWN #anyway writing this made me so sad and now i need to cope with imagining satoru literally crawling back to them #like hands and knees #begging for forgiveness #mans didn't know how to be vulnerable in a relationship but now that's all he wants #gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #satoru x you #satoru x reader #satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk angst #gojo angst

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aethelwyneleigh27 · 11 months

Text

Abby Anderson with a short plus size fem s/o

+ some other random hcs of Abby (can or can't be related to being plus size, up to you)

A/n: Please don't be mean in the comments, this is my first time posting my work again after what seemed like a year or more and English isn't my first language. Feel free to ask any requests, I hope this does well after the long time I haven't been writing. I was kicking my feet and giggling the whole time I was writing this, hope you enjoy :)

Maybe I'll add more to this in the future when I get more ideas but this is all I've got for now. This is also set in like an AU where the whole cordyceps infection/fungal outbreak never happened. So basically they are either in highschool or in college, up to you really.

Sorry if this is OOC, it's just that I don't know a lot about these characters. I only know of them based on the fanfics I read and TikTok really.

Disclaimers/Warnings: None, except maybe a bit OOC

If you wish to be tagged, please comment that you want to be or follow so that you'll be updated also: Rules for requests

If you don't want to send requests through Tumblr, my Instagram is always an option.

Abby would be a chubby chaser (this is my personal headcanon) for sure, she just loves the body type. To her, you're plush and cuddly.

Abby is utterly obsessed. The first time she saw you, she was infatuated by you. The stare she gives when she first sees you, honestly she's suprised that the whole school isn't all over you since you're so pretty and kind.

She thinks it's a perfect dynamic between the both of you. Since she's a bit tall and muscular, she thinks it balances her out to have a cute and an s/o that shorter and chubby.

It's like that thing where one is intimidating and they just have the one sunshine looking person around them. (bonus points if your aesthetic is more cutesy and feminine)

I definitely see her leaning towards more masc clothing. (I feel the same with Ellie)

She would be able to pick you up and she loves to do it, makes her feel so strong.

Abby is definitely touchy, she might not be all big on pda but guaranteed that she's the type to put her arm around your waist and pull you in closer.

Whenever you wear a short dress or anything that shows off your thighs really, Abby will be on the verge of drooling. She can't help herself staring at the way your thighs slightly bounce when you walk.

Speaking of thighs, Abby loves laying on your lap. She swears she can just fall asleep on them no matter what time of day it is and that says a lot since she has quite the sleeping schedule.

She conveniently has her hand on your thigh, mostly when you sit next to each other. (She thinks you don't notice the fact that her hand is slowly getting higher, or do you?)

Abby for sure is hesitant with letting people touch her hair but when it comes to you, you have a girlfriend pass. (She definitely wants you to braid it)

I feel like if you like to take care of Abby, she will most likely start calling you her adorable housewife as a tease. Can't help but think she would wrap her strong arms around you and give you a back hug because you're doing something. (I need more Abby x Housewife!reader please, to whoever made that hc, I absolutely love you)

If you have chubby cheeks, Abby would think it's absolutely adorable when you're chewing something (She often but never says it out loud, thinks that you remind her of like an adorable chipmunk stuffing it's face for the winter). I can't help but think she'll either gently pinch them or bite them every chance she gets.

Just her cupping your face any time she gets because she just loves your soft skin against her hands.

I swear, she would absolutely share her clothes with you. Seeing you in her clothes is an absolute turn on for her. (Bonus points if her shirt is long enough to look like a dress on you but short enough that it's almost skimpy to her)

#abby anderson x reader #lesbian #tlou #tlou abby #wlw #abby anderson #abby tlou #abby anderson headcanons #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x plus size reader #abby anderson x chubby reader #abby anderson fluff #fluff #x reader #x you #Aethelwyne Lia writes

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lucidfairies · 5 months

Text

hi 🫡

. yes that is me embarrassing the shit outta myself (I actually sent that to a handful of girls)

i. for those of you who may not know, i'm maya. i'm 18, i'm typically a masculine presenting lesbian and I happen to be a she/her. I also am unfortunately asexual

• everyone meat riding rn about why I read and write so much smut as an asexual, I would love for you to know that I'm fighting a losing battle with hypersexuality! that is all I will be sharing on that matter thank you. •

ii. I'm proficient at finding people's instas whether they wanna be found or not!! if this relates to you, you may want to hmu.

iii. um I'm single if that wasn't clear from the kicker.

iv. I have severe Audhd and I have OCD but I don't really count that because you can't really tell it's there. I'm a POTS and scoliosis survivor

(can u tell idk what the hell I'm doing)

v. I will drop my socials if you so want them but I would prefer u DM me cuz I don't need my public insta in tumblr comments tbh (I have insta, tiktok, discord, snap, so on so forth)

vi. I'm still in high school LMAOOO pls I'm not less than eighteen guys don't worry but I aspire to be in the military but I'm taking a gap year

vii. I've been writing since like third grade but over quarantine my parents kinda banished me to our basement and I was doing a lot of things I shouldn't have been doing but now I'm sorta good at writing !!

viii. fics are kinda a side gig, I do write real shit here and there but there's genuinely no point so idk why I do it

ix. I'm what people like to call a whore except I don't fuck around I just talk to like nine people at once (hop off my dick rn)

x. I'm hilariously funny if you ever wanna strike up a conversation

xi. I'm down for ANY conversations. you wanna talk about what kinks some random bitch has based on their appearance? let's talk about it. wanna tell me about the sex you had last night? I'll go get a snack. I don't get triggered by really anything so if u need an outlet, I'm right here bb

xii. I actually have a massive gyatt

xiii. I can curl a lot of lbs and um I can bench some too and I guess do leg stuff (gym girlies rise)

xiv. I'm Jewish but not like Jewish my fam just is, I am probably one of the furthest things from religion and I don't hugely support organized religion (my fav way to describe it is being Jew-ish)

xv. I am a leftist through and through (pro choice, pro science, pro gays, Black lives matter, stop Asian hate, in case you needed clarification on that one) and I avoid knowingly being friends with Republicans at all costs

xvi. I am pro Palestine, nothing anyone will say or do could change my stance on that one.

xvii. I have a cat + dog

xviii. I don't get cold like ever cuz I ski in like 10° weather all winter

xix. I have Duolingo and if u wanna beef it out w a quest then I am definitely down for that because I will beat you (I'm learning Hawaiian and Hebrew)

xx. I'm fluent in German and speak it at home w the fam and I know some Spanish + French

xxi. juice boxes > anything

xxii. some more pics of me will follow whenever I stfu

xxiii. I stand at a whopping six feet tall but I swear I have short person energy

xxv. in my personal opinion I have huge dick energy but you're welcome to put me in my place (I'm a switch and I'll cook for you)

xxiv. if your snap score is more that 300k we can't be friends I'm sorry (mine is 100k suck my c o c k)

xxvi. best position is doggy but I can be persuaded into something different

xxvii. CUNT

xxviii. uhhhh I'm from the East Coast of America so l operate in EST time

anyway it was nice getting to talk about myself for a long time 🫡 feel free to make numerous comments about my life in the comments

anyway y'all here are some for faceless pics that are guaranteed to make u cream (see, hilarious)

sayonara sistas

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avocadoraisin · 1 month

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Hey there! My name is Jenna and this is my art blog!

My main, @jennilah is used for personal posts, occasional WIPs, headcanons and other fandom memes, and reblogging things. Check it out if you're into that!

But if you just want the art, you're in the right place! Welcome!

Info for you:

What program & brushes do you use? I use Clip Studio Paint, and most of my art is done with a simple round brush with pen pressure only on the opacity. The rest is done with a variety of random texture or pattern brushes and blending tools.

Can I repost your art on [website]? I'd rather you didn't repost my art at all, but if you still want to, please ask me! If it is a website I use, no. If it is one I don't, then maybe. (With credit.)

Can I use your art for my profile picture/header? Yes! I'd be so flattered! If you can credit me somewhere, that would be appreciated ❤

Can I write fic/draw more fanart based on your art, or edit it into a fanvid? Are u asking if I want to melt into a sappy puddle of happiness?? Absolutely, PLEASE tag me!! (If I reblog, it will be on main tho, just to keep this space curated. Nothing personal!)

Can I make a request? Sure! I can't guarantee I'll draw it, but I love hearing people's ideas and I often keep them in my askbox for when I need inspiration :)

Can I ask you something else? Absolutely!! My askbox is almost always open! And if for whatever reason you're too shy to ask on my art blog, you are welcome to ask on my personal blog

Tags for sorting and blacklisting purposes:

[Fandoms and ships will always simply be tagged as their respective fandom titles and main ship names]

#jenna shut up - my non-art posts

#jenna answers - answering asks

#timelapse - time lapse videos of some of my drawings

#jenna self reblogs - for when I reblog myself and share the same art/post again

#drawing - the definitive tag for all of my art and none of my text posts

#doodle - low effort work, sometimes it does have effort, idk using this tag depends on my mood sometimes

I also try to tag spoilers for at least a few weeks after a new media's release, usually as "#[title] spoilers"

#jenna shut up #drawing

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pinkomcranger · 3 months

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Previous anon, thank you so much for your voice about Saga and her space in the fandom. Your reply was amazing. I honestly can't even add to it, you said so much and hit it right on the head in every regard. I think you made a valid point too, there are fans who don't create but want to see her represented in the fandom space too. I didn't think of it like that. I'll focus on that and for the future share Saga and Andercase content not just because of that but love em so much too. I say this as someone who loves all the chararcters and multiple ships outside of her but I treasure her and the ship so much so makes little sense not to show that. My stuff isn't quality but still can share lol I should back up my words and show it with content. Also, thank you for inviting me to talk in your inbox about anything with Saga/Andercase. I'll be sure to when ideas strike and hope it can encourage others too! Would love to see the fan base show her love like every other chararcter gets. Not completely unrelated but would love if people cared about Mr. Door too. There was a ship fic with him and Alan but it's lost now and like Saga he's often on the back burner despite how interesting he is too (insanely interesting tbh). Besides, I'm sure the actors and would be just as appreciative as thr others have been to already loved chararcters.

You're very welcome! I still have many thoughts regarding Saga and her place in fandom, I might create a part 2 at some point. When I finally entered this fandom, I fully thought there would be so much dedicated to Saga, because here we had such a beautifully written and portrayed character, that it felt like a no-brainer. To see that wasn't true, to see her glossed over for characters like Casey and Zane bothered me on every level.

It's one of the reasons I came out of my near-decade hiatus, if I didn't see what I wanted, and I could create at least a little, then I was going to do that. I was extremely hesitant, mostly because I was late to the game (hah, Saga would like that pun), I didn't dip my toes in until last December. I wanted the fandom to see that Saga was still appreciated, she was still seen, it wasn't just Casey/Alan/Zane.

To see you're willing to throw your hat back in the ring pleases me beyond words, but I'll try to find them regardless. First and foremost, please don't think whatever you create is less than when that couldn't be further from the truth. I know a lot of us content creators tend to hold ourselves up to others, if we don't get as many likes/reblogs/kudos/comments as other's ships or favored characters, that MUST mean we're not good enough, right? It's hard to believe, and something I still struggle with, but it's not true.

There's various reasons why it seems our content might seem to be skipped over. Maybe the idea doesn't hit right for some people, maybe they can't connect, maybe they don't relate, or maybe it's just not their fav character/ship. That's certainly their right as fans.

Secondly, at the end of the day, sometimes you just have to create what you want to see. It can be annoying, to wonder why you have to create something that should be so obvious to everyone else. But that's the thing about fandom, sometimes you just have to show you're here to stay.

I guarantee you there will be others who love your content, even if you don't think it's that great. I had to be reminded of that myself, by two great friends and basically pioneers of writing for Saga and Andercase (@wondrouswendy and @hearts-are-connected ). I know they're some of the great ones, and they'll always cheer me on, and I know they'll extend the same courtesy to you.

Man, Warlin Door is a whole different topic for me! He's EXTREMELY interesting, well-written, and portrayed. To see him ignored even more than Saga sucks, another character I thought would get love. I would love for the actors to see that they're seen and heard as much as Ilkka and Sam are. They deserve nothing less.

I very much look forward to seeing your content! You have a very eager fan here.

#alan wake 2 #saga anderson #warlin door #mr. door #my thoughts #writing #ask #cheering on other content creators #strong black characters #the insecurity can be very strong #the best thing we can do is keep rooting for each other #Saga is loved and seen

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lisard148 · 2 months

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SxF playlist pt. 1

So I've been collecting songs for my spy x family playlist for a month now. And since today we don't have new chapter I will rant about some of this songs here

1. Foo Fighters - Waiting on a war

This song right here describes all spy x family setting and Twilights story. Because peace between Ostania and Westalis is shaky and nobody can actually guarantee that it will last. And while civilians may live more or less peacefully, Twilight is always waiting on the war. But he knows that there's something more than that in life and with Forgers he has chance to have it

2. Hozier - Like real people do

I just needed Hozier song, because TwiYor have very Hozier romance. "I will not ask you where you came from" - is pretty much current state of Twilight's relationships with Yor and Anya. He knows they are odd but he will not ask them in fear of finding out. And both Twilight and Yor feel more like tools than actual people, but since they started Forger family they learn more about what "real people do"

3. Tember Blanche & Moisei - Ти лиш людина

This one's in my mother tongue (Ukrainian). For me it perfectly captures the feeling of the 86 chapter.

Chorus translation:

Show me your weakness, I don't ask you anything more.

If you are only human, then how can you live without fear?

Let's just say I can't wait fo Wheeler arc to be animated, because I have a vision for a really cool amv

4. Rainbow Kitten Surprise - Cold love

This one hard to describe. It has post reveal and opening up to each other vibes. It also has first joined mission gone wrong vibes. But most of all it has we are the same and we understand each other vibes. (Maybe I'll write songfic based on this. When I learn how to write hehe)

5. Rina Sawayama - Chosen family

Just a sweet song about opening up and found/chosen family. Very Forgers)

PS: I really need good songs for Anya and Yor. Especially Yor, since most of her playlists have femme fatale vibes, that don't suite her character.

If you have any recommendations PLEASE leave them in comments

#spy x family #sxf #sxf manga #loid forger #anya forger #yor forger #twiyor #sxf manga spoilers #Spotify

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amethystina · 23 days

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I recommend holding back on Word of Honor if you're worried about having too much already, because that it a rabbit hole that you go down way too quickly and is too good to escape :)

P.s. I love all your works! Thanks so much for them and all you invest into them!

To be honest, that's no guarantee I will end up in that same rabbit hole x'D I mean, yes, I'm hesitant to watch it because there's a possibility I'd get really invested, but I'm also a fickle bitch who can react in the oddest of ways to certain media.

Like, The Untamed? LOVE that drama. Hands down one of my absolute favourites of all time. I love the world, the characters, the story, the relationships, the aesthetics, and pretty much everything about it.

And yet, despite all that, I have zero interest in writing or reading fanfics, reading the book, watching the animated version, or digging through lore/meta/theories. I am so perfectly satisfied with the story I got through that drama that I have nothing I want to add or expand on.

Despite loving the source material to absolute bits, I never really joined the fandom and probably never will.

Please don't think I'm saying this to be edgy or contrarian, though. It's just that if the drama is good and entertaining enough (which I've heard that Word of Honor is) I might just end up with no desire to explore it further. That's not to say that the dramas I'm writing for now are somehow faulty or incomplete, but rather that, in those, I felt I had something to add. I felt like I wanted to see how those stories would continue.

And maybe I will with Word of Honor, maybe I won't, but I've learned that I can't judge my reactions based on what everyone else finds interesting. I seem to have a completely different set of requirements before I find myself interested enough to engage with a piece of media.

I mean, the fact that I decided to write a fic that will probably end up being 100k for a fandom that has a total of 19 works at the moment (even fewer when I started writing) says a thing or two about how unpredictable and unusual my urges can be x'D

That said, thank you for the warning! If I end up not heeding it, I give you permission to tell me "I told you so" ;)

And thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my fics 💜 I admit I'm currently quite frustrated with them since I am, once again, stuck on editing. But, with some luck, I'll be able to post it tomorrow.

It's a oneshot all you bloodthirsty Devil Judge fans will hopefully enjoy. If nothing else because it's Yo Han's POV and you all seem to love it when I write that xD

Take care, darling! 💜

#Amethystina Replies #Anonymous #I really hope this doesn't come off as rude #Because I AM hesitant to watch it because I think it might be very intriguing #But I ALSO know that it might just turn out like The Untamed #Where I'm perfectly satisfied and can move on without ever engaging with the fandom #But I won't know for sure until I watch it #And that uncertainty is what's holding me back #Woe is me x'D

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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not only is darimila HYSTERICALLY funny as a crackship i think camila deserves a nice peacock of a boyfriend. i want her to show a photo of him at work and his coworkers are too busy wondering if this guy is an actor or a model or what to wonder about the ears or the goo hair. can you imagine darius helping the nocedas with groceries high heels and green eyeliner and god knows what else. MAN.

Firstly I love that this ask implies that Darius puts 0 effort into concealing his identity as a witch when he's in the human realm. This man is fully willing to expose magic and the demon realm in the town famous for producing a crackpot genocidal witch hunter everyone hates IF. and only if he can look fabulous doing it

I'm also on team Camila Deserves Nice Things anon, though I do differ on the details slightly, mainly because I'm sooooo enchanted by the Darius and Camila fake dating scenario I've cooked up in my brain. It both appeases the part of me that adheres to canon characterization of Camila as a woman who still, years later, has boxes of Manny's stuff lying around the house, yet to be put away, bc realistically she did not get proper space to mourn him when he died and she is not ready to move on...AND the part of me that, like you, wants Camilla's coworkers to see a picture of Darius and LOSE THEIR MINDS. HELLO??? THIS IS THE BAD BITCH SHE PULLED BY BEING AUTISTIC??? FR???????

And then I'm unsure whether or not I prefer Darius with romantic feelings for Camila? On the one hand I think, in the beautiful timeline where I actually wrote this, I'd prefer to have it come down on the side of "Darius and Camila are Good Friends who bond over how terrifying being a new(ly), single parent is"

and Hunter has to grapple with the fact that no, his family is not and never will be "normal" according to societies standards, and he cannot parent trap his parents into loving each other, but that doesn't make his family structure any worse off than something closer to a nuclear family.

Also I'd squeeze some juicy character exploration out of Luz bc she is SO not over her dad's death. She tries to downplay it and act like she is but she is not and it's very very clear in TTT. But she also wants her mom to be happy more than anything. And she loves love! And it'd make hunter happy! So she's just. Sitting there with gritted teeth trying not to get upset at the idea of Darius and her mom actually getting together and being happy.

But, tragically, I can't guarantee I'll ever fully write this out (though I fully encourage ppl to run with the idea if they like it. Please run with it I can't be the only one who's thought of this before) so I give myself a little more room to be silly and I say that. Darius is a person with a lot of walls up who likes pretending to be cool as a method of distancing himself from ppl, and I'd love to watch those walls get eroded by the overly sincere and silly sci-fi nerds that are his son-figure and his crush, who are also mother and son. Also I love the idea of Darius being a man in his forties with a crush. Yes!! Get more pathetic!!! Raeda is cowering rn!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: I love you anon, I should really make SOMETHING based on the Darius Camila fake dating scenario, but if I don't, let this rambling serve as a testament to the GRIP it has on my brain

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #darimila #camila noceda #darius deamonne #the more i joke abt this ship the less ironic it becomes and I'm scared. don't do this to me #it's fine they can polycule it up with raine and eda /j #throw alador and perry in there too. watch everyone on the hexsquad slowly become related to each other. except willow. rip #ALSO i didn't proofread this bc it's very late </3 wish me luck that this is still comprehensible by morning

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victoriacoffee · 3 months

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Hey guys! Uh I felt like I should say something about the fandom

// mentions of self harm, suicidal ideation

This is gonna be long, sorry!

Heyyyy, sorry I've been so uhhh hardly active online...I've been trying to come back to posting online and stuff just idk it's been a pretty rough several months and every time I think my motivation is back enough it disappears. I'm currently tryna work things out in therapy as a result of how bad certain things have gotten in the last few months, I'm not gonna say what it was but based on my writing with a lot of focus on self harm and suicidal ideation, you can probably guess.

At this point I think I'm about to just not even bother logging into twitter anymore and pretty much use this and ao3 and pinterest and stuff (maybe occasionally instagram idk tho that place kinda sucks). It would probably help me be more active on here tbh since yall seem not really do a lot of the things that make my mh worst XD

Alright, anyway I'm currently editing a few different fics I've been working on for a while, several of them decided to be in the 50-100 page on google docs range whether I liked it or not, so that and my current disasterous working situation is why it's taking a ridiculous amount of time. If I had a functional posting schedule, ig I wouldn't be an ao3 user. I was gonna include a statement in one of them about this, but I decided this needed to be said here first

So I don't think I plan on leaving the dsmp fandom no matter what happens at this point. The average length of interest in a fandom is like what 10 years? Idk I heard that from some yt. If so, I'm approaching the halfway mark with the dsmp, which is insane to think about, and I don't plan on jumping off that train any time soon. The stories were intriguing and the cc's and their characters and music and stuff have gotten me through the lowest points of my life, so it's very hard to forget that.

Even if the cc's turn out to not be great, I still have their characters, and I'm not willing to give up this coping mechanism just yet because I feel like not having one when everything else in my life seems to be going to shit wouldn't be that great

I see it like if you liked a character in a movie and the actor that played them turned out to be bad, would you still like the character? I would.

cc!Wilbur turned out to be a shitty person. His song about being a wanker and a fucking waste of time was in fact spot on. Fuck that guy. I'm done with his stuff but I'm still gonna write his character

There are a lot of things erupting on twitter right now, I'm not sure what's going on and I do Not have the mental fortitude to find out at this point. I can't say I believe everything because after the Dream situation last fall...I'm just holding off my judgement for now. I'll probably go looking once the dust starts to settle but right now it's all a huge mess and everything is up in the air

I can't guarantee anything at this point, but I will most likely continue to write c! stagedduo and most likely draw and crochet them. I do not have another coping mechanism and the brainrot over the story of the dsmp will likely not go away

Uhhh really sorry I keep falling off the face of the earth, but I think I'm back now. I don't know what the future holds, but this is probably gonna become about the only social media i use now and I think i might just make an alt account or something for my other art so i can stop posting on instagram all together hopefully. Everytime i open that app it makes me more sad and then I never get around to opening this

Due to the severity of what I mentioned earlier, I'm just going to say that I'm not feeling like *that* right now, I feel like I'm actually very gradually starting to get out of the not great mental state I've been in for basically since high school, but I'm not gonna let twitter and the potential of social media harassment fuck that up, so from now on y'all are gonna be like 90% of my social media interactions most likely and I'm not gonna let whatever the hell twitter does in the next few weeks take my favorite characters from me.

I love c!Dream and c!Punz. Their dynamic is excellent be it drunz or stageduo. I'm gonna keep writing them.

They look like the cc's but they still very much exist separately of them (irl Dream isn't getting tortured by irl Quackity and Sam or anything lol).

So whatever ends up happening, imma be here most likely. So for those of you who'd like to join me, hey! For those of you who can't take it anymore, I understand.

Oh and for those of you who've been drawing/writing/whatever any cc's who are currently accused or exposed or anything, I encourage you not to delete or destroy your work, you worked hard on it! If you don't wanna look at it rn, put it away for now. If it's character based especially! Don't let the actions of others or the vitriol of twitter take away your favorite characters!

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