Tumgik
#Harry Potter incorrect quotes
Evan: Is something burning?
Barty: Just my love for you.
Evan: Barty, the toaster is on fire.
127 notes · View notes
Text
Harry: Hello love, made anyone cry today? Draco: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30 Harry: *Kisses Draco's cheek* Harry: You still got time for it, love, don't worry
37 notes · View notes
hrlx23 · 1 day
Text
Conversations with my not girlfriend that remind me of marauders characters part. 81
Grey = Remus
Blue = Sirius
Tumblr media Tumblr media
29 notes · View notes
loz-tearsofahomo · 3 months
Text
James: and so I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Reg-
Evan: I'm sorry?
James: Well hes-
Evan: No I'm just sorry.
Barty: yeah mate praying for you
3K notes · View notes
valentinetypewriter · 9 months
Text
Marauders x Y/n incorrect quotes
Can be read as poly or as platonic
Masterlist
Y/n, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Sirius, pulling out an Uno card: +4
James, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Remus, trembling: What are we playing
*Y/n is cooking*
Sirius: Any chance that’s for me?
Y/n: It’s for Remus. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side
James: I never realised the planning that went into being a disappointment
Y/n: Dammit, Sirius!
Sirius: What?! It wasn’t me!
Y/n: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, James!
James: Not me either
Y/n: Oh...Then who set the common room on fire?
Remus: *whistles*
James: I sleep with a gun under my pillow
Sirius: I sleep with a knife
Y/n: Both of you are pathetic
James: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Y/n: Remus
James: What’s the announcement, Remus?
Remus: It’s a lecture. Sirius’s gonna tell us everything he knows about sex
Y/n: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds
James: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”
Y/n: *looks over at Sirius and Remus*
Y/n: Is it “sexual tension”?
Y/n: Hey Remus, wanna third wheel on my date with James tomorrow
Remus: Sure
Y/n: Sirius! Wanna third wheel on my date with James tomorrow?
Y/n: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!
Remus & Sirius: ...
James: Y/n…
Remus: Bad news—James locked us out of our dorm room
Remus: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a professor
Remus: Bad news—Sirius finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls
Remus: Good news—a cute girl saw me do it
Remus: Bad news—it was Y/n, and since she's already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she'll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late
James: Sirius, you'll be working with Remus and Y/n
Sirius: Alright! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Sirius: ...Of people on a team
Remus: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff and got distracted
Y/n: I'm stuff!
Sirius: I'm got distracted!
James: We had sex
3K notes · View notes
redadidassneakers · 18 days
Text
Wolfstar raising Harry
Harry: *watching Remus pour Coca-Cola down the sink* what are you doing?
Remus: I’m using this to dissolve whatever gunk is clogging the drain
Harry: cool, do you think it will dissolve the screwdriver that’s down there?
Remus: the fucking what?
645 notes · View notes
hxuse-xf-black · 6 months
Text
[Deathly Hallows] Hermione: Harry- Harry, sighing despondently: Ginny used to call me Harry. Ron: Because it's your fucking name.
1K notes · View notes
Note
falling asleeep om malfoy
𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨
fandom- Harry Potter
pairing(s)- draco malfoy
a/n: this isn't the best but it's something i wrote to one of my favourite bois, the gif sounds like he's saying my favourite- requests are forever open luv, tiya
requested- yes
currently playing- forever favourite
warnings- none i think-
Tumblr media
"don't fall asleep on me, darlin" Draco cooed
his voice oh damn the lord, it sounded so pretty calling you darling. you'd want to hear it roll of his tongue over and over again. just wanna play it on a loop.
even against his misguided words, he had his hand around you waist, letting you lean on him with your head on his chest. you could hear his pretty heart beating so quickly.
why was he so nervous talking to his friends huh?
he had gone back discussing something about Potter again. maybe that's why his heart was beating so fast. Him and his bloody Potter for Merlin's sake. it was as if he was in love with him.
pottah this, pottah that, potta breathes, potta looked.
Malfoy on the other hand was having a whole panic attack inside his head.
is she comfortable? where do i keep my hand?
am i comfortable for her?
their droopy eyes slowly closed and they'd gone to sleep.
draco malfoy couldn't even pay attention to whatever they were talking about, his favourite subject in the world was in his arms.
his world was in his arms.
4K notes · View notes
itstheghostofmypast · 9 months
Text
Y/N reading in peace.
Draco glaring at her
Y/N: *ignores*
Draco continues to glare
Y/N sighing: What?
Draco: what are you reading?
Y/N: shhh, I'm at a good part, he's talking about his crush.
Draco: THAT'S MY JOURNAL!
Y/N: You mean your diary?
Draco: No, my journal.
Y/N: Right...also, it's best to tell your girlfriend how much you like the sound of her laugh instead of writing it in a secret diary.
Draco: I'll hex you, I swear.
Y/N: Aww~ Like how you wrote in this last entry about me being able to hex your heart-
Draco malfunctioning
2K notes · View notes
yourgalgremlin · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
From this
446 notes · View notes
Text
Harry: people who sleep with their phones on silent really don’t care about anybody
Draco: if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that’s between you and god
2K notes · View notes
punkharryp0tt3r · 6 months
Text
Sirius: Say Padfoot!
James: No, say dada! Come on!
Baby Harry:
Lily, watching them: Stop pressuring the baby please.
James: We are not pressuring him!
Remus: Yes you fucking are.
James, gasping: Remus!
Baby Harry: Remus
Everyone, staring at Harry:
Remus: Holy shit-
Baby Harry: Shit
Everyone: REMUS!
775 notes · View notes
crackishincorrecthp · 6 months
Text
Hermione: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Ron: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Hermione: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING HARRY WITH ME Ginny, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now Draco: No, no, it's getting really entertaining now! Pansy: I never thought Hermione would be that competitive! Luna: I always thought Ron would be the one to get Harry in the divorce Harry: Hermione is scarier, she would definitely get me in the divorce
990 notes · View notes
Text
Draco, eating breakfast: Oh, hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.
Harry, who walked out of his bedroom in his house into his kitchen: Maybe we would, if you would STOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE
750 notes · View notes
loz-tearsofahomo · 5 months
Text
Sirius & Barty bored in azkaban
Sirius: bart
Barty Crouch Jr: ...
Sirius: pssst barty
Barty Crouch Jr: ...
Sirius: BARTEMIUS CROUCH JUNIO-
Barty Crouch Jr: WHAT.
Sirius: Truth or Dare
Barty Crouch Jr: cant bloody do dares in here can we?
Sirius: TRUTH or DARE
Barty Crouch Jr: only if I can ask first-
Sirius: no-
Barty Crouch Jr: yes-
Sirius: -fine
Barty Crouch Jr: Truth or Dare
Sirius *rolling his eyes*: truth
Barty Crouch Jr: did you and that lupin kid ever get round to fucking
Sirius: ...
Sirius: How the fuck did you know that-
Barty Crouch Jr: My gaydar never lies-
Sirius: your WHAT
Barty Crouch Jr: -the horny levels were through the roof-
Sirius: OKAYMYTURN
Barty Crouch Jr: -I mean really it was obvious
Sirius: are you fucking done now
Barty Crouch Jr: right, truth
Sirius: You didn't even let me ask
Barty Crouch Jr: This might surprise you pretty boy but I don't actually care.
Sirius: ugh whatever
Sirius: ...
Sirius: Who was Reg's most surprising kiss
Barty Crouch Jr: ooo hoo hoo
Sirius: what
Barty Crouch Jr: Oh get fucking ready for this, god Reg is gonna murder me from the grave
Sirius: well it couldn't have been that bad-
Barty Crouch Jr: It was potter.
Sirius: haha funny joke now cmon-
Barty Crouch Jr: I'm not joking.
Sirius: ...
Sirius: ...
Sirius *looking up* : JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER SO HELP ME GOD YOU ARE GETTING A FUCKINT BEATING IN HEAVEN OH MY-
Barty crouch jr *looking down* : Reggie please don't kill me
Sirius *still yelling at james from the grave* : ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU GO AND DIE ON ME THEN NEXT I FIND OUT YOU KISSED MY PERFECTLY INNOCENT LITTLE BROTHER-
Barty Crouch Jr: I mean- he was a death eater not exactly innocent-
Sirius: oh shut up will you I'm having a bad day
Barty Crouch Jr: well what do you fucking expect this is azkaban
Sirius: doesn't mean you have the right to make it worse.
Barty Crouch Jr: well I mean he did betray the dark lord so there's that-
Sirius: WHAT
Barty Crouch Jr: well duh you didn't know
Sirius: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DUH OF COURSE I DIDNT KNOW
Barty Crouch Jr: fucking stupid gryffindor, yk i got twelve Os on my NEWTS
Sirius: NOBODY CARES!!! ALSO I'M HAVING A CRISIS RIGHT NOW
545 notes · View notes
fanby-fckry · 4 months
Text
Harry: Oh fuck oh shit what’s your type?
Draco: *lying on the bathroom floor in 6th year* Emerald green eyes, messy black hair, annoying, but like, in a cute way...
Harry: Your blood type, you prat!
Draco: Oh... B positive.
Harry: *frustrated* Yeah, thanks, I’ll try.
538 notes · View notes