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obae-me · 4 years

Note

Hi again! If it's not too much trouble, can I request the brothers reacting to an MC who usually bottles up their anger (they have a LOT of patience) until one day they just explode? You are an amazing person, and thank you for everything! I hope you aren't pushing yourself too hard!!

Hi, welcome everyone to another episode of Mara Doesn’t Know When To Stop, this time featuring this lovely request! I had a small idea, which then turned into five whole pages for Lucifer alone, so, I will also be doing this request into parts, I really hope you don’t mind! I get a bit carried away sometimes...I admit it... Anyway, Lucifer’s part is first! I hope you like it! 💜

Warning: Angst, arguing, cussing, It does lead to a happy end though, it’s a bit cheesy but sometimes we love it

We All Get Angry Sometimes

Word Count: 2707

He was fully aware of MC bottling up their true emotions. Being well acquainted with angels, he knew, despite all their holy patience, that even they had their limits. He will admit, he was impressed and proud with how far they had taken it, being human after all. Their control was practically as good as his own. No matter what his brothers did, what they said, how much they pushed them, for weeks MC just smiled and swallowed it. He was pleased. Until they could no longer retain their anger, and turned it all on him.

It had been at dinner, nothing unlike their meals every day, except recently Lucifer’s nerves had been on edge. It had been a few days since he had been blessed with adequate sleep, and his brothers were more bothersome than usual. Little did he know, MC’s mental state was about the same, close to the breaking point. An unhappy MC meant unhappy brothers, which meant it would all lead back up the ladder to Lucifer. There was only so far MC could be shoved around, only so long they could stay calm, and Lucifer had been the last straw. No one can really remember how it started, it hadn’t been important, simply some passing comment from one of the brothers discussing recent school projects. MC had scoffed, explaining their thoughts on how ridiculous the rules of said assignments were. Then it all went downhill from there.

“I’m not sure it’s your place to be making claims like that based on what your grades have been looking like recently,” Lucifer quipped. The rest of the siblings prepared to stand up for the human, knowing that MC was typically passive in nature.

Only, that same human beat them to the punch. “So, you’re saying that because I don’t meet your lofty standards, I’m not entitled to my opinions?” MC set down their fork, sending chills down the other demon’s spines as the room went silent.

Lucifer narrowed his gaze, already annoyed with their tone. “I’m merely explaining that maybe your statement would have more merit if you worked a little more at your studies instead of slacking off. And for the record, no, you haven’t been reaching my standards. I honestly expected more from you.” Every member of the household felt that line deep in their bones.

MC’s jaw clenched, the fire building up in their chest overwhelmed them to the point where if they shoved it down any longer, they felt like they would explode under the pressure. “You expected more from me? What more could you possibly want?! You’ve taken my home, my family, my friends, my culture, my time! You’ve constantly belittled me, ordered me around, expected nothing but perfection from me, and you still want more?! What have you possibly done to deserve more of me?!”

He was stunned at first, yes, but it didn’t last long. The shock factor was quickly replaced with a wave of fervent irritation. There’s no surprise he was already in demon form, doing his best to intimidate MC into submission. His eyes were glowing that deep red of his, looking down at the human as he got to his feet. His siblings slowly raised up from their seats as well, at the ready to intervene at any second. This whole event had them astonished to their core. Mammon and Levi had their jaws open. Asmo had his hand covering his mouth. Satan would have appeared proud of MC if not for the wary frown. Beel was instantly engaged in protection mode, already in a stance to grab onto Lucifer if he needed to. The eldest was barely able to control himself. Somehow MC had gotten deep under his skin, his body prickling with anger. “What have I--I’ve brought you into my home, ensured your protection, done nothing but make sure your experience down here is sufficient for your fragile little life! Do Not speak to me that way. Know your place.”

MC was physically vibrating from rage and frustration, their mind clouded with fury. Logic was far out the window now, they simply were saying whatever came to mind. Profanities were no longer held back. “I’m sick of your pompous holier-than-thou shit! I’m sick of working my ass off for you and not being good enough! You have a serious fucking lack of respect for everyone around you!”

The air was thick with his aura, his wings fully extended from his body. “Not another wor-”

“Fuck you!”

In a quick blur of motion, everyone worked together in tandem. As Lucifer lunged forward, his brothers held him back. Mammon scooped MC up in his arms and raced to the safety of their room before MC could get hurt, although deep in his heart he hoped Lucifer wouldn’t resort to violence. Lucifer growled inhumanly, flinging his brothers off of him in a single swift movement, ready to pursue the person that dared attempt to say such things to his face.

“How pathetic for you to have gotten so riled up over a few words from a human,” Satan shouted at him as he got up from his spot on the floor. Swallowing the small lump in his throat, he hoped this would prove a decent distraction as well as a way to snap his brother back under control.

Lucifer loomed over him. Satan seemed hardly disturbed. “Watch yourself.” But Satan’s words proved efficient, Lucifer’s Pride wounded as he realized how quickly he allowed MC’s words to get to him, how quickly he had lost control. All of his sibling’s eyes were on him, observing how he was acting. His head was pounding, but instead of heading up to MC’s room, he swiftly retired to his private study where he locked the entrance behind him. He paced around the area for a while, magically turning on some soothing music as his wings twitched in vexation.

He had been completely unprepared for MC’s retaliation, for their venom towards him, but perhaps he knew there was only so much a living being could take before they snapped. Had he been pushing them too hard? Expecting too much of them? Mistreating them? Had he gone too far? What if this spat ended up becoming a problem for the program? What if MC relayed this to Diavolo? His image, his reputation, they would be tarnished. Did MC think less of him now? Did he really care what they thought of him? He was better than this. He expected more from himself. He lowered his head as he sat heavily down into the chair behind his desk. He sunk down low, proper posture be damned. As he took a deep breath in, he realized he hadn’t been breathing for a while, lungs aching. He hadn’t meant to rub MC the wrong way. He simply strived to lead them towards the potential he knew they had. All he wanted was for them to feel proud of their accomplishments, to show the world what he knew they were capable of. But perhaps, it was unfair for the same standards he kept for himself to apply to MC as well. He pinched the bridge of his nose as that deep breath turned into a heavy sigh. He had failed in nurturing the success they’d already accomplished. He’d made them feel like they weren’t good enough, and now look at what he had done, in front of his family no less. Humiliating.

Meanwhile, Mammon was in the process of rubbing MC’s back as they lay on their bed, screaming into their pillow as angry tears fell from their eyes. They hadn’t meant to snap at Lucifer, it all...was just so much. They finally had cracked from the pressure. Everyone’s expectations had gotten the best of them. Be a human representative. Don’t let anyone down. Don’t show weakness. They weren’t purposefully slacking off from their studies, they just were burnt out, almost completely. Lucifer demanding even more from them...was the last thing they needed to hear today. Their own words made them feel sick to their stomach. Being angry wasn’t like them, it never sat well, which is why they always attempted to bury it in the first place. Mammon continued to tell them to breathe and calm down, doing his best not to freak out himself. He’d never seen his human act like this before. After some time, they both heard a polite knock on the door. As MC tensed, Mammon got up to answer it on their behalf. Lucifer was waiting, back in his casual clothes as his arms were settled folded across his chest, foot tapping impatiently against the floor.

“You’ve got a lotta nerve coming back here so soon,” Mammon scowled. “I won’t let anything happen to them, ya hear?”

“Nonsense, Mammon, I have no intention of harming them, I just want to talk. Calmly.”

“Yeah? Well I don’t think they’re in the mood for talkin’.” Mammon did his best to let his body block the entrance to the room, his shoulders nearly touching both sides of the door frame as he made his stature appear bigger. Lucifer peered over his younger brother’s figure, spotting MC sitting with their legs crossed on top of the bed, mostly calmed down as well, refusing to look at him. He noted the tear stains on their cheeks, and he resorted to having to clench his own teeth to stop the bubbling guilt rising up in his chest. He would make this right, if he couldn’t do this, how could he possibly call himself the wise and mature older brother?

“It’s...okay, Mammon,” MC assured him. The demon of greed scoffed, stating much too loudly that he would be right outside the door. He threatened his older brother not to even think about laying a single finger on them, unafraid of any punishment when it came to protecting MC. Lucifer waved him away with a single hand, too exhausted to deal with him further. As the door shut, he strode over to MC’s bed, chin high but spirits low. He had no intention of apologizing first, but if he could just persuade MC to start, he might be able to swallow enough pride to follow.

“Have we calmed down now?” He asked, MC simply nodding in response. “Very well.” He paused for a moment, letting an uncomfortable silence settle over the room. He did have many things he wanted to say, things he wanted to rectify, but for the life of him, he couldn’t bring himself to say them. Not yet. “Did you have anything you wanted to say to me?”

He observed them fight back their irritation before slumping their shoulders as they gave in. “I’m sorry, Lucifer.”

“And?” His voice sounded like a parent scolding a child, causing MC to nearly flinch in humiliation.

They bit their lip. “And the things I said to you were uncalled for. I know how much you do for all of us...for me.” They sat up a bit straighter as they stammered over the thoughts they wanted to say, to explain their feelings. They were afraid to be honest and vulnerable, much like he was, but they had the courage and humility to be open. It was a trait he secretly admired. “I just...I’m finding it difficult to--to find the--the energy and motivation to make everyone happy. And...and it hurt when…” They looked down, swallowing their emotions once more as they halted their watery eyes from crying again.

Lucifer let his body unwind ever so slightly. It would be rude of him now to not follow their example. “I...regret my words and my actions. I allowed my emotions to get the best of me, it won’t happen again.” He let the conversation fall once more as he took the time to straighten his coat around his shoulders and his gloves tighter over his fingers. “It was not my intention to invalidate your efforts. You’ve already accomplished more than I originally thought you were capable of, and it was foolish on my part to expect more from a simple human.” His rather backhanded compliment forced MC to rest their face in their hands in shame. The nerves in Lucifer’s spine shot a jolt up his back as he realized how terribly this was going. His temples were pounding, and he finally put his pride aside for the sake of reconciliation. He couldn’t stand to be the cause of their distress. MC stiffened as he sat himself beside them on their bed. A gentle hesitant hand hovered above their body before it settled between their shoulder blades. He glanced at the door where he knew Mammon was behind, probably listening in, and so he spoke softer. “I’m...sorry.” He had to ignore how harshly the words hurt him, but something about it was freeing. “I seem to have pushed you too far. I am thankful and truthfully astonished of what you’ve done during your time here. Not only did I cross a line today but I was blind to the fact that you’ve been overtaxing yourself. I know how hard it is to juggle my siblings and my work.”

He allowed his hand to drift up and down their back in a soothing rhythm, relaxing some himself as their muscles eased at his touch. MC finally raised their head from the confines of their palms and looked him in the eyes. “Do you think I’m a disappointment? A burden?” He found himself stunned for the second time today, and for a while he wondered when it was that he could be so easily swayed by the words and emotions of this human. Here he was, not only apologizing, but expending every effort he had in consoling them. He wanted MC to be happy again, because somehow it seemed to make his days a little brighter, his mood a little softer. Perhaps...he cared more for them than he realized. Their shouts had wounded him deeply at dinner, but somehow these new words hurt him more. Their forlorn face spurred an unfamiliar pain in his chest.

“I’m sure it will be hard to convince you after the unforgivable things I said to you today, but it could not be further from the truth. I suppose the fact that you question yourself is one of my biggest failures. Clearly, we have not been communicating properly. For that I am..s...sor…” The words got caught in his throat. Apologizing once had been difficult enough, a second time seemed impossible. Out of the blue, he felt a tight set of arms wrap around his torso. He held his arms up in the air, his body turning rigid as his little hairs stood up on end. MC had pulled him into a tight hug, burying their face in his side. He felt their nose nestle against his ribs. As soon as he found his breath, his arms slowly lowered, settling around the smaller human. His body felt warm. Allowing himself a small smile, he cleared his throat. “I would prefer a situation like this to never happen again, do you understand?” MC detached from his sides, sitting back up as they nodded silently. “So, for the future, instead of quarreling with me, I expect you to come straight to me to discuss any woes or issues you may have. Fair enough?”

“Yes, Lucifer.”

He gingerly brushed his fingers against MC’s cheeks. “But it would be remiss of me to ignore the faults of my own. Since our meal was interrupted, what do you say to me taking you out to dinner, as my way of making amends?”

MC felt themselves blush a bit. “Sure-”

The door burst open, Mammon leading the charge as the rest of the siblings spilled into the doorway. They’d all been eavesdropping. Mammon came over and tugged MC further away from Lucifer. “Oi, what did I say about touching MC?!”

“And our dinner was interrupted too, I think we deserve something!” Asmo whined.

A loud grumble echoed from Beel’s gut. “I’m starving…”

Lucifer’s eyelid twitched a bit, and he gave MC one last apologetic look before he sighed. “Fine...we’re all going to dinner then.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer x mc

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siriusmydeer · 3 years

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hello love, i was wondering if you could do a james potter x slythering fem!reader? one where she is working so hard on getting her life together. she is trying to be different than her family and working so hard but it is getting to her. she feels like she is failing and every turn she takes is a dead end. she feels like there is no purpose to what she’s doing. i think some super fluff is required, like james boosting her up and loving her. plzzzzz & thx

his slytherin

james potter x slytherin!fem!reader

summary: when you overwork yourself james is there to save the day.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: mentions of insomnia, mentions of sleep deprivation, mentions of not eating, mentions of over working yourself, angst, sad!james, house stereotypes, bad grades, implications of smut, WOLFSTAR😍, mentions of food, a breakdown, THERES FLUFF I PROMISE

seventh year was quite literally, a mess. maybe not for others, finally done school or they were super excited to travel around the world seeing things they’ve never seen before. you’re dream had consisted of constant studying, and working that barely made any time for yourself.

for the prior three years you had studied and practiced with madam pomfrey in the healers wing to eventually become a healer yourself, and it took a lot more than you thought it anticipated.

you knew as a healer, later in life you would have to deal with artefact accidents, dementor attacks, creature-induced injuries, magical bugs, potion and plant poisoning, dragon trainers with injuries, and incredulous spell damage.

with that you had to be prepared, which meant more time hitting the books and less time spending your final year at hogwarts with your best friends and your staggering boyfriend.

(hahah u see what i did there?)

james had qued in on your restless nights by gazing across at you in the great hall. the colour of emerald green becoming frequent in his life now; surprisingly to everyone else. where you were sat at the slytherin table, your eyebags already deepening by the day and your nose buried in some sort of school book.

the thought of even being like your family, made you nauseous. you didn’t want to be like your strict, immoral family, the death eaters, the murderers, and the ministry officials. who worked like machines without feelings or care.

as a slytherin born into a pureblood family those were the expectations that were almost nailed into your back like a sign said, ‘here’s the pureblood slytherin, shame her even though you don’t know her!!’

of course those were the stereotypes, ones that had been built on for centuries since salazar slytherin himself. that you of all people had to inherit. so you had to fall, and rebuild yourself entirely for even a chance. the restless nights, insomnia, caffeine and studying was your way of rebuilding.

of course that had an effect on your grades, not sleeping, not eating and barely focusing made your grades tremble a great deal to the point where professor slughorn got concerned by his best potions makers, recent poors in his class.

you were too focused on being better that you couldn’t even focus on your own well-being, that you couldn’t even see you were hurting yourself on the people around you. almost self isolating yourself from everyone entirely.

“darling?” james whispered, his body sitting across from yours at one of the mahogany tables in the library. pince set him a warning glare not to cause any mischief as she turned around.

“hmm?” you mumbled, barely acknowledging his prescence and continuing to read your defence against the dark arts textbook, something about the ‘chameleon ghoul.’

he had barely seen you all week, and when he did he saw your agonized face scrunched up in a book and your mauve dark circles that rested below your eyes clear as day.

“why don’t you take a break, dear? have a rest, you’ve been working non-stop. ve’barely seen you.” he murmured the last bit, embarrassed for feeling ‘needy.’

“can’t jamie, newts are soon i need to be prepared.” you looked up in his direction for a moment, barely catching his saddened eyes through his spectacles at your denial of his request to finally see his girlfriend.

if this were two maybe three years ago, james would not be caught dead having a conversation with a slytherin, let alone a relationship with one. the stereotypes blinding his vision for along time before he could see what was truly in-front of him.

i mean the gryffindor pride genetically ran through his veins as he was born into the etiquette pureblood-gryffindor family himself. it was almost destined for the both of you to be corporeal enemies.

but... something about your altruistic and considerate attributes subtly changed his mind. thanking merlin, and horhace slughorn for pairing the both of you in potions in fourth year. there was always something about the way you were so gentle and benevolent with him in potions class might’ve flipped a switch in his mind.

“right then... see you later?” he muttered disappointed in himself, you work so hard to prove yourself meanwhile he didn’t even have a glare in his way because he was the perfect headboy gryffindor student; with absolutely no judgements thrown his way despite his actions towards others in previous years.

“dunno, i’m studying.” you replied, your voice monotone and dull almost raspy from barely using your voice unless answering questions in class to almost being a know-it-all and pushing yourself to the tops of all your classes.

he got up from his chair, it scraping against the floor as he walked to the exit almost like a dog with its tail between his legs. he just got so mopey by your dejected less merry self. he had to do something, he had to make you understand that being a slytherin wasn’t just you.

it was a part of you sure, but ambitious just meant you strived for your goals and you were cunning which showed your amplified skill.

that didn’t mean you were— evil? being a proud reckless gryffindor was one in his heart but nobody ever thought he was malicious.

so, james fleamont potter did the only logical thing he could think of; going to his bestfriends for help. of course at first they were not over the moon glowing in delight when they found out he was dating a slytherin, especially sirius.

but that was expected, his family being his only views on how a pureblood slytherin acted only projected onto you. giving you almost a conscientious reason to work, the thought of someone james felt was his brother perceiving you as despicable only made you pursue your self judgements.

but after your book swaps with remus, you and peters athrimancy study sessions and music bonding with sirius they grew quite fond of your personality and thought that you were due with a chance with the marauders.

“moony, i need help.” he spoke desperately as remus’ face was also buried in a book, except out of his own free will.

“james needs my help? hear that sirius? prongs needs my help.” he declared proudly as the brown-haired gryffindor groaned crossing his arms.

“it’s y/n.” he mentioned, glancing in sirius’ direction before sitting on the vermillion love seat across from the fawn haired boy.

“what about her?” remus was more-so confused, what would be so wrong with you that james had to ask him for help?

“she’s suffocating herself, the books, the studying, not sleeping, not eating, nothing. i dunno what to do anymore remus, she’s so pent up on wanting people to stop looking at her like she’s heinous she’s working herself to death!” he ranted, all his anger and agitation spilling out in one fast-paced sentence that james needed to catch his breath by the end of.

“i just dunno how to make her catch a breath, take a break. what do i do?” james panted, looking at his mates for an answer.

“imperious curse?” sirius proposed, a bad proposal but his intentions were... thoughtful. “yeah let me go use an unforgivable curse on my girlfriend so she can have a study break. no thank you, next.” james sarcastically humoured him, james didn’t want to compromise your education or use an unforgivable curse on you for that matter but you looked so incredibly burnt out he didn’t know how to help you.

“body-bind curse? so she’s like.... forced to stop?” peter suggested, looking up from his transfiguration essay catching onto the conversation as he twirled his quill between his fingers.

“or, y’know something actually logical you could do is take her books. get her lavender tea or something, let her talk.” remus finally spoke, shrugging then looking at the ‘lord of the flies’ book in his hands a smirk lying on his face knowing that would he james lucky choice.

“moony, you genius! i could kiss you!” james hopped up from his seat, on his way back to the library.

“oi! i’m the only one he’s going to be kissing, prongs!” sirius yelped as james walked out of the portrait hole with a distant chortle.

on his way to the library, where you were previously seated, james made a stop to the kitchen to grab a few of your favourite snacks and some water. he dropped them back at his dormitory, but not without a mini lecture on ‘kissing moony.’ from sirius.

what a drama queen.

the castle was slowly darkening, the only light pivoting from the floating candles in the air. he saw your frozen-like figure in the same spot you were except looking over your history of magic textbook, learning about the ‘emeric the evil.’

“y/n.” he stated firmly, you almost jumped from your seat in surprise, due to your recent sleep deprivation. “merlin james, give a girl a little warning first.” you chastised before returning to your next book that was slammed together right in-front of your eyes.

“james! i was—“ you were cut off quickly by him gathering all of your books and placing them in his left arm. “what are you doing?” you questioned, looking at him with furrowed brows, to exhausted to argue with him.

“you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, your basically a study.... that muggle thing- robot! you’re a study robot! so i’m taking care of you.” he got sidetracked as he spoke in a gentle yet firm tone.

“but i have too-“ you were cut off again by his pointer finger shushing your lips together. “no, either you sit here in silence because i’m taking your books either way or you come with me to my dorm.” james spoke, resisting to your complaints.

“fine, but you have too—“ you started off, annoyed that your study time was ruined by james incessant comments about you ‘overworking yourself.’ he though, was not having any of that. “nope.” he grabbed your hand, dragging you off to the gryffindor tower.

you gave a small tired wave to sirius, peter and remus on the way to the dormitories as they were all either on the floor or splayed across the scarlet-coloured couches. sirius following with a teasing wolf whistle and wink seeing the both of you walking up the stairs.

“don’t do anything i wouldn’t do!” he chuckled, looping his arm over remus’ shoulders.

“ha, bloody, ha, padfoot. so, so funny i’m on the floor laughing.” he teased, sarcasm lacing his words in a monotone voice almost mocking snape.

you playfully rolled your eyes before being dragged up the stairs to the boys dormitory. the only noises heard were the clacks of your shoes and the soft breathing emitting from both you and your boyfriend.

your eyes were met with candies sprawled all over his poorly made bed, one of his quidditch sweatshirts paired with your favourite joggers; the ones he probably stole from your dorm room one night; because he was keen on you just staying there with him and ‘subtly’ moving all your things into his dormitory with the rest of the boys.

you looked at him with an arched brow, a silent question of ‘why are you doing this?’ ignoring your questioning look he sprawled himself on his twin-bed, his hands clasping in his lap waiting for you to change.

you put on the clothes he layed out, feeling james’ left hand tug you onto his chest when you were done. oh his soft, pillowy chest, you almost felt tempted to fall asleep right then and there.

“darling girl, tell me what’s going on?” he softly questioned while stroking your hair with one hand, his other arm stroking your back.

“i just—“ you stuttered, feeling a wave of tears glossing over your eyes. “i feel like everything is going so, so, wrong. m’so afraid of failing, i want to be better! i don’t want to be like m’terrible family, but it all feels like so much!” you mewled into his shirt, his grasp growing a bit tighter in an effort to psychically comfort you.

“baby, you’re nothing like your family, you have to know that?” he directed your vision to his gaze, the soft marks of mascara down your dampened face only made his gaze softer.

“you work so hard on trying to be not like your family, you don’t even know how amazing you truly are. you’re so generous, you’re always willing to help someone even if you don’t like them, i know i wouldn’t have that patience!” he softly chuckled, seeing a faded grin on your lips.

you sniffed as he continued his praise, “you’re such a hard worker, and i’m truly in awe of you. you’re the one person who truly puts her best foot forward and it’s so incredibly amazing, but you’re working so hard your exhausting yourself. y/n, it’s breaking me to see you like that.” you saw small wet streaks around his eyes, not truly realizing your self destructive habits had been harming people around you; had been harming him.

“jamie, i’m— im so sorry!” feeling the wash of emotions suddenly bundled up wash all over you, your nervous system feeling overwhelmed with the emotions of sadness, guilt and anger bubble up all at once. you whimpered into his shirt, spewing out mumbled apologies that were barely coherent due to all the sobs.

“shh- shh, don’t apologize.” he articulated, shifting his hips up and grabbing a folded parchment from his back pocket.

“w—whats that?” you questioned, trying to calm down the mewls and whimpers that wanted to escape your throat.

“this, darling, is a schedule.” he pointed out, a week schedule with times on it that labeled your subjects as well as times of the day. he also dedicated certain parts of every single day with “james!!” in bright red ink.

“so those,” he pointed out, directly at all the times he wrote his name leading up to the newt dates, “are times you and me spend together, no studying, just loving. so i can remind my beautiful, smart, and amazing talented loving girlfriend how astonishing she is.” he said with a grin, proud of himself.

“you really know how to charm a girl, potter.” you may have teased, but without him you don’t know what you would’ve done. james was truly your saviour, your light, stars to your moon; if you will.

he was yours, and you were definitely his.

taglist: @fathermarty @kittykylax @terr0rizer @aspiringsloth20 @dear-luna @famdomhideout @hufflepogue

#james potter one shot #james potter fluff #james potter fic #james potter fanfiction #james potter x oc #james potter #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #harry potter oneshot #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter smut #james potter smut #james potter series

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euphoricethan · 3 years

Text

Alpha’s Kingdom - G.D

Summary: Grayson and Y/n have been friends since high school; a little before that to be exact. They had a not-so-friendly altercation 8th grade graduation, but began a spark with polar opposite attitudes. A typical college party turns to the most surprising nights of their lives.

A/N: this is an old, old, old draft from the beginning of last year that i never finished but now it’s done & i hate it so enjoy! (also lmk if i need to add more tw warnings just in case)

Warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, language, underage drinking, public humiliation(?), violence (blood)

Word count: 5.6k

That evening, Y/n (typically) would be in her dorm blasting music so loud in her earbuds that her introverted, comic-loving roommate would yell at her to turn it down as she studied for a big test the next day.

But, instead, she was called to "haul her ass" over to the Alpha Kingdom —which was what Grayson and all his buddies called the frat— to help with their party they were having for the reason she didn't know.

Y/n was against it, but she had no other choice since she was close friends with Grayson and owed him a favor. (Not to mention that he couldn't hang up streamers to save his life.)

So there she was, resting one hand on his broad shoulder while she pressed the white streamer into the ceiling.

"Hold still." She said under her breath, while Gray was moving around a bunch in hopes his knee's wouldn't give out.

"I can't, my knees are about to give out Y/n," he was looking up at her, watching her shove the dainty piece of paper up into the ceiling.

"'s not my fault." Y/n licked her lips, concentrating hard.

Sooner or later, she came down from the wobbling ladder and took a few steps back to look at her work.

"Looks good kid." he awarded.

"Kid" was always Y/n's nickname; no matter who was older. She was always "kid" and he was "Blue".

Ever since last year or so, Grayson has grown into a huge Godzilla look-alike, and Y/n thought it was hilarious since the reason behind it was that he wanted to impress some girl he met the beginning of the school year and claimed she liked guys who were "bulky."

Then, Blue Whale was introduced. But Y/n got tired of adding the Whale, and Blue just kinda stuck.

"You should help me and Brandon grab the kegs from the back." Grayson folded up the ladder, and whether Y/n was following or not, he walked away to place it back where they got it.

"You know, you really are the impidamy of a typical college frat boy!" she called out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brandon, another frat member who was just as dumb as the rest of them, said.

The fact that they didn't even get the joke just claimed to prove her point to where she just shook her head and proceed to the backyard to help the two twin towers carry the one-hundred sixty-five pound keg into the house.

They were all soon lifting, Y/n rather struggling while the two other boys grabbed it with ease.

"God, where do you guys even get these?" she was generally curious, she hadn't seen an actual beer keg in person before. They've only been in movies...

"Brandon's friend's uncle who worked at the bar downtown."

"Worked?"

"He got fired when the manager started realizing that he was missing a bunch of kegs like every week." Grayson said this with ease as him and Brandon finally set the huge keg onto the kitchen floor.

"Kid, pass me that thing over there will you? It's over there." Grayson pointed with his head.

"Grayson, you can't just tell me to hand you something and point with your head and just assume I know exactly what you're talking about."

He was apparently fed up with her, as: he stood, reached behind her, and pulled the hose and nozzle with a sly smirk on his stupid face.

"If you guys need any help, I'll be on the couch." she told them both and exited the kitchen before they said anything; if they hadn't already decided she was no help to them.

Shortly after, Brandon was walking into the living room to sit next to Y/n and place both of his legs over her's.

She let out a small grunt, letting her phone slip from her grasp and leaned into his legs.

"Jesus." she went to retract her phone, but he had beat her to it and was holding it above his head trying to see what she was doing.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked, flashing the screen on his face.

Y/n was now reaching over him, still just reaching for her phone. "Brandon, I swear to god." she muttered.

"Who's Bryson? Ooh yikes, he has a B name..." he gave Y/n a hard look with his eyebrows raised slightly.

"You have a B name." she shoved his legs off her and was now even more invested on getting her belonging back.

"Yeah but that doesn't count," he was now facing away from her, pulling the phone close to him and reading her most recent text word for word.

"Don't think i'll be able to make it tonight, big test tomorrow. Y/n, what is this!" he showed her own screen to her as if she didn't know what it said.

"Can I please just have my phone back? You're being a dick." she told him.

"Hey Grayson! Y/n's got a boyfriend!" he called out, causing him to walk into the room with his face slightly scrunched in confusion.

"Huh? What'd you say?" he ran his hand though his hair before placing both on his hips.

"Look." he said.

"I don't have a boyfriend, he's just my parter for a class, now can I please have my phone back?!" Y/n was reaching over him again but he had moved his hand.

Just then, Grayson grabbed a hold of his wrist and took it from him. "Dude, don't be a cunt."

"Here kid." his eyes flashed over to her, handing it over as their fingers came in contact with one another.

Grayson found his way back into the kitchen, letting out a heavy sigh as he walked away.

She had followed behind him, seeing his behavior shift and his shoulders drop.

"What's up?" she said, leaning over the counter and watched him rinse off the dishes.

"Blue? what's wrong with you?" she said now, furrowing her brows.

A small sigh left his nose while he just placed the dish in the rack.

Grayson had always been protective over Y/n—ever since they were 11 and some kid made a joke about she smelt like cigarettes because of her father.

He always stood up for her, always. Even though he knows she can defend herself he feels the tightness in his jaw and in his fists when someone mentions her in the conversation.

"Are you mad about something?"

He sighed again, moving from the dishes to the restocking of the fridge.

"Can you talk to me? Like I don't know why all this sudden you're having a pity party..." she cocked her head forward to try and get something out of him.

"It's nothing. It's fine."

"Well no, obviously something is bothering you. You can tell me. Like did I do something? Was it the phone thing? What?" Y/n slid her hand across the counter, standing up now and walking towards him.

"You shouldn't told me if you had a boyfriend." His eyes were harsh on her, leaving them to look at her until she turned her head.

"He's not my boyfriend..." her eyes were to the floor.

"Doesn't sound like it." he closed the fridge and started smashing the cardboard boxes the drinks came in.

"Blue, it's not like that, like at all. We're just parters, he wanted to work on our project tonight but now i'm here so..."

"Why don't you go, since you don't wanna be here." he smashed the final box hard against the counter, causing Y/n to flinch and blink quickly.

"I wanna be here! Damn Grayson why are you being like this holy fuck! Are you drunk already?" Y/n cheeks were getting warm and she gave Grayson side eye until she scoffed and turned on her heel.

She didn't know what he was thinking, getting mad about something like that and telling her to just go home?

She didn't know the reason behind why he said it either... because if she knew now she probably wouldn't hook up with him later that night.

It's 8th grade graduation. Ethan and Grayson are about to get called up to get their "diploma".

But as soon as the kids who were seated in front of them had to get up and wait to get called up left, Grayson was no where to be found.

Along with Y/n who was a few rows behind them.

Where were they? Good question.

Behind the Gymnasium drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade Y/n had snuck from her dad before they left.

"Y/n, we're gonna get in so much trouble!" Grayson whisper-yelled, watching her lean over in her dress and press the top of the bottle on the jagged wall.

The top had popped off and she giggled before taking a gulp and holding out for him to hold.

"Shh! We'll only get in trouble if we get caught, now take this before I spill it on my dress. My dad will shit his pants if I ruin it."

Grayson took the bottle from her, awkwardly holding it in his hands.

"Take a sip, it's so good!" she told him, her smile wide and her eyes filled with adrenaline.

This was the first time he had seen Y/n in girl clothes and makeup. Her Aunt was in town for her graduation and helped her pick out a dress and did her makeup.

She complained about how the mascara felt weird on he eyelashes, but he thought she looked beautiful.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't always think Y/n was beautiful. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his whole life.

He trusted her with his whole heart too. Took everything she said serious and was so gullible it made Y/n laugh so hard she lost her breath.

He loved her laugh too. Making her laugh was his favorite thing he could do, it was like a super power to him.

Which is why when she caught him staring at her in her puffy dress and little platform heels, his cheeks turned bright red and he couldn't stop himself from putting his lips on hers in a quick peck.

He tasted the Mike's Hard Lemonade on her lips, and she was right... it was good.

So good that the peck lasted longer and longer until Y/n placed her hands against his fiery cheeks he let his hands go numb and the bottle shattered onto the concrete.

She pulled away, quickly opening up her eyes to see how dilated his were.

But then, almost at the same time, both of them turned their heads around the corner to see one of the teachers coming to inspect.

Grayson took her by the wrist and they sprinted around the corner until it was safe to quickly walk back to the ceremony as he was called up on stage.

And there he was, walking across the stage in front of almost a thousand kids and parents with the biggest boner ever as Y/n sat in the crowd, her cheeks red and holding the bottle cap in her palm.

They never talked about it after that.

And that summer, going onto freshman year, Y/n had gotten her first boyfriend... who wasn't Grayson.

His name was Tony, and he was a Sophomore.

Grayson was supportive of their relationship of course, but his little heart broke almost every time he saw them together or every time Y/n brought him up.

After September, he had finally broken up with her because she wouldn't give herself to him. She was heartbroken.

But again, Grayson was there for her. Always.

She never knew why he cared so much, because unlike her father, he didn't give up on her— he didn't tell her how much he loved her and then disappeared to get drunk for days at a time.

She really only had Grayson if were being honest here. Her mother moved out of state when she was little, and shortly after that they moved and she met him.

She knew there was always something there. She just didn't know what was stopping her from doing something about it.

Until tonight.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." Grayson said walking past Brandon to quickly walk up the stairs two at a time.

By now, Y/n was now back at her dorm with a million thoughts cursing her brain.

"What's up with you?" her roommate asked, sitting at her desk while finishing up a project for her class.

"I hate men." Y/n said.

"Same. I'm just saying, girls are so much more fun."

Y/n collapsed on her bed, curling up in her jeans and t-shirt as she spoke her thought out loud.

"Should I go?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Go where?" her roommate asked.

"Graysons having this party tonight at the Alpha Kingdom or whatever and I think I kinda wanna go." she was now sitting up in her bed, watching as she turned around.

"You should go. Why not?"

"Well he had a fucking hissy fit earlier because his roommate or whatever took my phone and that Bryson guy kept texting me and— whatever. He's just being overprotective for no reason & told me to go home."

"But I low-key wanna piss him off s'more."

"You should. You can wear that like skirt thing you got and be all slutty. Plus I met this girl yesterday at the coffee place by the L campus and I think we're gonna..." she gave Y/n a raised eyebrow glare and pointed with her head towards her bed.

"Well first of all, I'm not gonna dress slutty; that's like asking for it. Second of all, T.M.I."

Her roommate scoffed. "It is not asking for it, it's called having confidence and if they take it too far that's on them. I say you wear it."

So that's what Y/n did. She put on that dress she had just bought with the red little cherries printed all over, slid her shoes on after brushing out her hair & sprayed her favorite perfume.

"See, told you." she told her once Y/n had grabbed her phone off her bed and jumped down.

"Yeah see and I even put on those pair of thongs I got too. Look!" Y/n lifted her dress slightly, showing off the dainty piece of material.

She gave her wide eyes before saying, "Don't get pregnant now." as Y/n opened the door.

"Same for you."

When Y/n arrived at the "Alpha Kingdom" she was greeted by the heavy smell of beer and blaring music from outside the front door.

As she entered, she made her way to the kitchen where her and Grayson's altercation took place to grab a red solo cup and fill it with punch.

Just before placing the ladle back into the bowl though, someone was grabbing her arm and dragging her with her cup to a secluded area away from everyone else.

She met his eyes with confusion laced in them.

"Ethan, what the fuck man! You made me spill my drink everywhere!" she told him, looking down at her arm as the red colored drink slightly stained her skin.

"Shh!" he told her, gently placing a hand over her mouth before she stuck her tongue out to retract his fingers.

"What do you want." she was shaking the drink off her while putting the cup in her opposite hand.

"Does Grayson know you're here?"

Her brows were furrowed, and she gave him a look that simply answered his question.

"Why-"

"Just come with me." his hand was gently wrapped around her wrist, now taking her out back where at least a hundred people were scattered about.

"What are you doing? And let go of my hand!" she pulled her wrist away from him harshly and placed both of her hands around her cup.

"Fuck! Where'd he go?! Fuck." Ethan muttered to himself.

"E, what's going on?" now Y/n had a worried pitch in her voice, watching Ethan's eyes as he scanned over the back yard desperately looking for his twin brother.

"This guy. He wants to fuck Grayson up or something." he was running his hands though his hair, looking a frantic mess and acting like he was having a bad trip.

"Are you high?" she asked, quickly watching him snap at her.

"No Y/n I'm not fucking high! I don't want someone to beat the living shit out of Grayson, okay?"

"Have you seen him? He's huge. Plus, why would anyone wanna beat-"

"Because of you okay! Some shit went around that you were with this guy and you cancelled to come hook up with Gray. Now he's pressed and is probably gonna kill us both."

"Wait— who? Who said that? Ethan?"

His head along with almost a hundred others spun around when a loud "Dolan!" was called out from the deck above us.

"Fuck me." he said under his breath.

Bryson made his way down, taking the steps two at a time and skipping the last three to land hard on the grass with his heavy work boots.

"Hey Y/n." he spoke, vial in his tone and liquor on his breath.

Y/n and Ethan stood there both in shock. For two different reasons. Ethan was shitting himself, thinking this was how he was gonna die because he hates conflict; and Y/n thought back to the last three hours catching up to her wondering why she came over in the first place.

"So, this the guy you came to fuck tonight? Because it's certainly not me." a chuckle escaped his lips as he took a few steps closer and now having everyone's attention.

"Look man, we don't wanna start anything. I'm sure whatever's going on can be resolved peacefully, alright?"

Bryson took one look at Ethan before retracting his eyes back to her.

The crowd was starting to form around them and soon peoples phones were pulled out filming every second.

"What do you want, Bryson." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I just came for the show. You know."

Y/n scoffed at him, brushing the hair away from her face.

He took a deep breath in, now interacting with the crowd that was formed and made eye contact with a few people.

"Y/n can be kind of a slut—" the ooh's and small gasps got him willed up, so he continued. "Don't get me wrong, girls who dress slutty and act it in the bedroom is hot... but when you go to a study session and she begs to suck your dick in the library; see, that's I guess that's just the price you pay when you go to school with the Y/n Y/l/n."

"Dude—" Ethan tried stepping in now, getting in front of Y/n and looking Bryson dead in the eyes. "Don't be a fucking dick."

"Don't act like I'm wrong. Well all know she's a slut! Just look at her!"

Everyone's eyes were shifted upward, looking past Bryson to see Grayson standing by himself in a white plane T-shirt with a green olive jacket on top some jeans.

His tall shadow was standing behind Bryson, causing him to turn around and now face him but he couldn't even get a single word out before Grayson took his balled up fist and forced it against his jaw.

In seconds he and Grayson both were on the floor while Bryson took multiple punches to his face as Y/n's screams for him to stop muffled out.

How dare he say something like that about Y/n? How could he say that to her when she's such an angel? Did she really do that in the library?

The questions were sprinting around in Grayson's head as he took punch after punch to Bryson before the ringing in his ears faded away.

"Grayson! Stop, please!" Y/n's desperate scratchy screams were loud enough to where he looked up at her only for him to be pressed up against the grass.

Bryson was punching Grayson now, and with all his 175 pounds on him, Ethan and some random guy was holding him up and had his arms behind his back.

Grayson stood— only with a bloody nose, split lip, some some small bruising around his eye and both of their blood on his knuckles.

He spit blood out onto the grass, looking around into the crowd —including Y/n— and walked inside while shaking his hands as if they were wet.

Back in the kitchen, Grayson had placed the frozen carrots on his hand and let his head fall between his shoulders over the sink.

He felt her presence approaching, the familiar smell she carried around with her everywhere. "What the fuck was that about Grayson!" she screamed, stomping in the room with her eyes staring at him hard.

"Nothing Kid." his jaw was clenching. He was about to explode again.

"Nothing?! That was nothing!" she was already gone. God, why did she even come in the first place?

"I told you to go home." his eyes were digging into her and he placed his finger to his lip to wipe the blood away before he disappeared up the stairs.

Y/n was about to be death of him.

"You can't just ignore me!" Y/n said while banging on Graysons bedroom door after repeatedly trying to turn the nob.

Inside the four walls Grayson had trapped himself in, he was alone with his thoughts and Y/n desperate to come in and give him company.

Then there were four knocks on his door. The same four knocks they did when they wanted to apologize to one another in 8th grade but we're too ashamed to say the words aloud.

It was their only promise they held to this day. Which is one of the only reasons Grayson sighed heavily and opened up the door for her.

He closed the door behind her, now both of them standing in awkward silence.

Y/n's eyes were glued to her feet while Graysons were softly looking at her in all her glory.

As mad as he was, and the fact that he was breathing hard from his nose to subside how much he wanted to finish Bryson off, when his eyes fell on Y/n he was in awe.

He hadn't noticed how nice she was dressed until now. With a soft white dress, curled hair, and her favorite sneakers that didn't quite match. It made him chuckle.

Her eyes were on him. "What?" she asked, placing her arms across her chest.

"Nothing."

"No, what. Now you have to tell me."

Grayson shook his head in disapproval.

"C'mon Blue, I tell you everything!"

Her words stung him like a bee, because she could see his jaw tense up again and walk away from her.

"Just like when you told me you didn't have a boyfriend?"

"So this is what that was about? Because he is and never will be my boyfriend— or anything remotely like that, ever."

"But you still sucked his dick in the library? See, Y/n I don't understand you sometimes. You can be the nicest girl i've known since we were 13, or the complete opposite."

He was inching closer to her now, his vile words building up to protect himself from slipping his biggest secret.

"Why are you being such a dick! So what if I did?! It's none of you're business anyway. You're so protective Grayson... so manipulative and controlling. You spend all you're time worried about me you can take one second to see what you've done. For fucks sake you just beat the living hell out of some kid in your backyard!"

"He was harassing you!"

"He was drunk. And so are you? How much have you had to drink? Huh?!"

"This isn't about me— it's about the fact that—"

"It's about me! Always my fault, isn't it?! It was my fault I got us in trouble in middle and high school, my fault I caused you to almost lose you're scholarship... is it my fault my dad was a drunk and used to beat me?!" she shoved his chest, causing him to stumble backward a little.

"I never said that." he sighed.

"No but you've thought about it. C'mon admit it! You've once thought about how I could have ruined you're big dreams. And now you wouldn't be here now right?" another shove to his chest.

And that's when Grayson is pressing Y/n against his bedroom door, his hands surround her cheeks and her arms fall to her sides only to be gently placed against his torso seconds later.

They were so close. So close just like the time they kissed in the back of the Gymnasium when they were younger. Her lips were the same to him, still holding onto that Mike's Hard Lemonade, but this time it was more fruity due to the punch Y/n had drank.

But to Y/n it was different. It was so different.

She was taken back almost six years to when she took that lemonade from her Dad's outside fridge and got so much shit later that because he found the bottle cap on her dresser.

She never regretted it though. She felt alive, being rebellious, being secretive and her adrenaline pumping through her veins. She haven't felt the same since... until now.

Grayson opened his eyes, slowly pulling apart and watching her eyes flutter open to look up at him.

"Gray..." he was scared of what she might say next.

"You're drunk." her voice was soft, but it still cut into him like butter and he pulled his hands away from her and took a step back to sit on his bed.

"I'm drunk? That's all I am Kid! Because last time I checked I was in love with you." his mouth formed the sentence and spit it out before he even had a chance to think it over in his head.

"Grayson..." Y/n was still against the door, too afraid if she moved he'd have her back where she was.

"Do you realize how long I've liked you for?! Go on ahead I wanna hear what you have to say." the tone in his voice was something she had never heard before.

"I-"

"The first day I met you Y/n! The second I laid my eyes on you I- I- I had this feeling in my stomach- butterflies. That never happens. Ever. And you know what else?"

She stood there with her arms pinned to her side waiting for him to speak again.

"You'd always flirt with me, all the time. Do you remember that? Remember all those times in the library when you'd drag me down an empty hall and hold my hand until class was over? Or after school when we went to the park and you convinced me to write on the playground? I even wrote our initials under the slide!" he took a deep breath in before he stood up and started pacing the room.

"Oh yeah! And the endless times we would skip class to hid in the locker room and take people's locks and switch them around! You did that shit to me all the time Y/n! And I let it happen..."

"It's not like that," her voice was just a whimper compared to his.

"It's not like that?! What is it like then? You fucking led me on all the time for years and I still stuck around because you're Dad was a drunk and I was the only friend you had and I liked you so much it wouldn't even matter if I wanted to leave!"

"And when you kissed me, behind the Gym at our graduation, I went home and looked at rings because I was so delusional that I thought I'd marry you." Grayson's hands came up to ruffle through his hair, and the tears had started to form in his eyes before he could do anything about it.

"Will you please just listen me to me!" she had raised her voice now, her hands talking with her while her eyes locked with his.

"I like you Blue. I just- it's complicated."

"Right. Because you don't like me like that. Right?"

Y/n sighed. Both of them were too fucked up to be having this conversation right now. "No, because I'm fucking scared! Okay?! You're the only man in my life who hasn't treated me like absolute shit and- and what happens if we do this? Then what? I lose you too? Jesus Grayson do you ever think about anything through before you just go on a rampage?"

"Y/n, just shut up." and that's when Grayson's hands were pressed hard against her cheeks, pulling her close enough to feel him through his jeans.

Y/n still didn't know how it had happened, how they had gone from fighting to her being pressed up against his twin-sized bed in his room with him between her legs.

He hovered over her with his hands on either sides of her face while they locked the eye contact with silent consent.

Grayson's hands found Y/n's waist and slide down slowly until both of his hands were holding her legs open.

"Lift your dress Kid." he said, and she could feel his breath against her clothed clit while doing as he said quickly.

His hands rubbed slowly on her smooth thighs while he watched her do as he said before he pulled the dainty, thin piece of fabric Y/n was wearing to the side.

While doing so, Y/n's breathing caught in her throat to the touch of his rather large fingers grazing against her.

She was nervous, but the adrenaline she craved took over and followed every order that was asked of her.

There was another moment of consent, and that small nod was all Grayson needed as his tongue came in contact with Y/n's wet core.

He started off slow, trying to see how long it would take before she was begging for more, asking him: "Please, Blue... please."

The thought of it made him groan as he felt himself grow in his jeans that caused them to fit a bit more tight.

"Oh," Y/n moaned as Grayson made eye contact with her, just to pick up his pace.

He could hear the light taps on his comforter, and so he took it as another sign until she was slightly arching her back due to his work between her sweet folds.

He didn't realize he was burying himself in her until he loosened his grip on her thighs and stopped quickly to get a breath of air.

But Y/n's breathing was a bit harder now, and she croaked out a small "Gray," to beg him to continue.

But that's not what he wanted to hear. Blue.

His right hand let go of her leg, only to reach down and lightly trace along her silky folds to her pearl. "Hm?"

Y/n reached forward a bit at the sudden touch, and he found two of his fingers slowly dancing around her small numb that made her beg.

"Ple... please," she breathed out feeling him between her with a playful look on his face just knowing he'd get her to say it.

"Pleaseeee, what?" he mocked, opening his fingers just slightly to find her small, tight opening.

Grayson's mouth was just near an inch away from her core as he blew cold air into it making Y/n squirm just to have him grip onto her thigh.

"Gray," Y/n had a hard time finishing her train of thought before he had taken the two fingers and slid them into her wetness as they disappeared in her.

She gasped now, gripping onto his bed sheets and pulling her brows together to help keep the moan in.

She could fight it for as long as she could, but if he kept doing this to her, the whole neighborhood would know what they were up to.

Once again Grayson sped up, now moving his fingers in and out of Y/n while also swirling his tongue around her numb before kind of kissing sloppily and mixing the fluids around slightly.

"Fuck," she said, trying for reach for him as he moved her hand away.

"Say it Kid, go on." Grayson continued while he waited, listening to the sound of fingering his best friend.

And there were the magic words. "Blue, please... shit,"

This time Y/n successfully reached up for him, grabbing onto his brown locks and pulling him close to her core and using both hands to hold her still.

Grayson's mouth was open against her, and when he heard her screech as he felt her legs start to shake, he knew he was doing something right.

This continued, and he loved the sounds that he made her make, and he was nearly coming to his breaking point when he heard one last moan and felt the warmth on his chin.

He took a small collection of Y/n with his tongue and pulled her even loser while she whined and breathed heavy, her grip on his hair still strong.

Once she finally let go of Gray, and before he could even say a word to her, she said: "Fuck me Grayson."

#eeswork #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #grayson #dolan twins #grayson dolan imagine #gray

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trashcatsnark · 3 years

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NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny”

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.”

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster.

Spoilers!

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though.

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess.

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him.

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.”

“So, why not get it removed?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.”

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date.

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on.

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue.

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly.

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece.

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them.

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life.

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing. Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character.

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it.

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move.

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes.

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent.

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there.

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right.

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #johnny silverhand #silverv #cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #ieiwi

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spicysoftsweet · 3 years

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Chapter 12

Masterlist

Kumi stood at the kitchen sink, the sound of the running water over the dishes she was attempting to wash barely registering in her head. It wasn’t that she was thinking about anything else - the activity was mindless for her and her head was nearly blank. She stared outside the closed window above the kitchen sink, her hands still moving deftly as she rinsed plate after plate and set them aside to dry.

Outside was quiet and tonight, the sky was particularly bright and starry, and Kumi decided she liked living here.

The rural town, a drive out from bustling Kyoto, was quite peaceful, and while her and her grandmother lived in a more isolated region with the next house being at least a ten minute walk away, it wasn’t truly the countryside proper. She was thankful for this, once she’d awoken from her depressive episode where she’d lacked the will to even argue when her parents sent her away. The kids at school did look at her a little funny, few of them having seen a hafu before, but there wasn’t much difference from the behavior of the kids in Tokyo after a while.

Kumi also found that her initially stern looking grandmother was possibly the sweetest woman alive, pale as her mother and much smaller in height and frame as her. The old woman was also a very good listener and had been patient enough to hear her out once Kumi finally decided to talk, in sharp contrast with her parents who were now terrified to say anything, especially after her father had only said the wrong things initially.

Things were getting better, in some fashion. Kaksi had stopped calling her weeks ago so the guilt she felt any time she avoided the line was eased. She had almost lost her resolve when even Mitsuya called, but she was determined that the best way to heal would be to avoid anyone from back then. She longed to talk to Kaksi however, and she knew there was no one she’d meet that could replace that bond at her new school.

She was almost finished with her task when she noticed a small cockroach running along the outside of the windowsill, trying to make its way inside, attempting to shield itself from the growing winter cold. She found herself pausing and staring, not in fear but in fascination, until a memory came to mind.

“If you’re gonna ride on my bike, you’ll need to address it properly.” Baji told Kumi, matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest but with a grin on his face.

“This is an inanimate object,” Kumi said, pressing her lips together. All she wanted was a ride home, and she’d already convinced herself that getting on this boy’s bike wouldn’t immediately cause her death but now that he was being silly about it, she was starting to have second thoughts. Maybe walking alone wouldn’t be so bad.

“Yeah, but it also has a name. Goki, like Gokiburi, you know.” He said, hopping over it with one leg, and letting it tilt. “If you’re gonna get on, you have to say ‘ Good evening, Gokiburi-san’ first, and then we can go to your house.”

Kumi readjusted her bookbag, looking at the space behind him on the bike, then at him. She shrugged.

“Go-ki-bu-ri?” she pronounced carefully, looking at him for approval and he nodded. She repeated the words he’d asked her to say with a bow, and Baji stifled a laugh.

She pouted.

“Hey, did you make me say something stupid?”

“No, of course not,” he replied, reaching out a hand behind him to help her up. It was her first time on his bike, and she did find that her heart pounded once she’d settled onto the seat.

“Please go slowly,” she pleaded, and he rolled his eyes.

“Fine.”

Kumi tried to resist the urge to cling to the boy too hard once the engine started, anticipating that he’d speed off to scare her, but instead he was considerate, moving slowly in the direction of her place. Once her heart rate slowed to normal, she felt the need to start a conversation, and she said the name again.

“Go-ki-bu-ri. Gokiburi. Goki… buri.”

“Huh?” Baji asked, eyes still facing the front.

“It sounds cute,” she admitted, with a chuckle.

He laughed.

“Oh really? Now that I think of it, it reminds me of you.”

Baji’s back tensed, perhaps anticipating a slap, but Kumi’s cheeks warmed up instead. She had no idea what a gokiburi was, and Baji only realized once she grew quiet and they’d arrived at her place that she had no understanding of the mean joke he had just made.

His own cheeks reddened, once she thanked him sincerely for the ride, flustered once he realized she’d taken his roast as a compliment. He didn’t have the heart to explain himself now, especially when it occurred to him that she was pretty when she smiled.

“I… uh, no problem!”

It was only the next day when Kaksi said bluntly, “he said you looked like a cockroach,” that he received that slap for real.

Kumi continued to watch the cockroach march along, until it was out of view, unsure whether to smile or cry.

---

As the end of her last year in middle school approached, Kaksi figured that she had no use in making new friends, so she drowned her troubles with studying, doing her best to enter a high school where she would be sure she’ll never see any Toman member again. Unfortunately, that was not what she truly desired.

Kaksi wanted her friends back - she wanted Baji to push her a little too hard when they would fight, she wanted Kumi to give her that annoyed look when she would tease her too much, she wanted to hear Mikey laugh and smile with his eyes and she wanted Kazutora to push her gently when she wanted to play on the swings nearby.

These were the thoughts that plagued her mind each time she would find herself crying by herself. She knew she wouldn’t feel this way forever, however. Nothing lasted, after all. She had learned that fact rather brutally. Yet sometimes it felt like none of her wounds were healing and one of the people she missed the most taunted her.

If there was someone that she had trouble imagining her life without, it would be Kazutora. Having known him since childhood, Kaksi figured he would always be by her side but she had been wrong and while his absence hurt, she had started to get used to it. Her most recent good memories with Kazutora dating back to before Shinichiro’s death, she couldn’t ignore the gap that was separating them anymore.

Kaksi would keep her promise and welcome Kazutora back in ten years, but the one that she wanted to see right now was Mikey. She felt a little guilty at that realization but there was no escaping those emotions anymore. While Kazutora was gone, it was Mikey that would have her on the back of his bike, it was him that would listen to her talk and it was him that made her laugh and while she was sorry that it had appeared to him that he was Kazutora’s placeholder, he was so much more than that.

She wished he knew that, she wished he believed that. Even though she had spent most of her time burying this love, Kaksi could never pretend like Mikey meant nothing to her. Sometimes she wondered what would have happened if she had returned Mikey’s feelings because she did love him so much, she hoped he would come back to her one day.

Unfortunately, she never saw his CB250T in front of her apartment block again or his face. Faster than she had anticipated she had graduated middle school and was getting ready to start a new chapter of her life. She was satisfied with the high school she was able to enter, she couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t see any familiar faces until her first day but she figured that even if she did she could ignore them.

Once she had started school again, she was relieved to not have seen any Toman member she had ever been close to and had decided it was time for her to make new friends. But that turned out to be way harder than anticipated when only one week into the school year, rumors had started to spread about her boyfriend.

The worst thing about what she would hear was that it was too close to the truth for her to even argue. So she kept quiet when girls would mutter about Kazutora’s crimes whenever they saw Kaksi’s face. She did manage to always get paired up with someone when group work was unavoidable but she quickly learned that those who paid attention to her only cared about the grades she could earn them.

It was lonely but not that bad Kaksi convinced herself. By the middle of the school year, no one would look at her in contempt when she would have lunch by herself and that felt good enough. Those she would be nice to also started returning the favour and while she didn’t exactly have any friends, it started to be more bearable. Now she did still wonder about how Kumi, Chifuyu and Mikey were doing but she doubted her memory would ever erase any of the people she had loved and still loved and she was fine with that, most days.

There was one time though that she started sobbing uncontrollably. Frustrated by her homework, Kaksi had hurriedly and violently started to empty her desk’s drawers, looking for an old lesson she swore she had kept somewhere. Instead of what she was looking for, it was old pictures that had slipped from the pages of one of the many unused journals she owned. She had sighed picking them up without initially realizing what they were.

Once her brown eyes had focused on the faces printed on the paper, she wasn’t able to stop her tears. She wanted to smile, those pictures represented happy memories, after all, but she only grew nostalgic looking at Kumi’s cute smile, Mikey’s grimace, Baji’s frown and all the other Toman members she had once called her friends’ faces.

Once she had calmed herself down she had put those pictures away safely, somewhere it wouldn’t be disturbed again. Then she had gotten back to her math problem, tears all dried up. She still missed her friends and she wondered if they did too but maybe she was having a harder time moving on than they were, she wasn’t sure.

Either way, time always proved to be the solution to what she felt and suddenly she had finished her first year of high school. Things were moving by quickly and Kaksi had a pretty clear idea of what she wanted to do. She would be going to college after graduating and studying psychology, hoping she could pursue a career in that field eventually.

Her second year of high school seemed to be more interesting than the first one and she found it funny to discover all those new faces as the first years appeared. She wondered if what was told about her would spread to them too, she was unsure and she didn’t really care, having confirmed to quite a few people that her boyfriend was in fact in jail and they should probably not stay close to her (jokingly, although everyone took her seriously).

One person, however, started having lunch at her table every day. Kaksi assumed she was a first-year, not having seen her face before. She had wide blue eyes and white medium length hair. She was also much shorter than Kaksi and while she looked intimidating, it only made her prettier to Kaksi.

She hadn’t expected the girl to ever talk to her and especially not to say what she did, but Kaksi would learn fast that this new face was full of surprises.

“I love your hairstyle,” she said with a smile, the serious facade she wore seconds ago completely disappearing.

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly. While they looked nothing alike, the girl had a very similar smile to Mikey’s.

“Thanks.”

“You should bring me with you next time you cut your hair,” she added, cheerfully.

Kaksi chuckled but agreed, having just met Senju Akashi.

---

Senju knew what loneliness felt like, being in the position she was in from such a young age she figured being close to anyone could only bring her trouble. So she spent her time with her brother and older men that shared her objectives. Still, she remained a fifteen year old even though she was on her way to be the leader of a growing gang very soon.

This was why when she noticed Kaksi wandering the hallways by herself and eating alone, her curiosity was picked. Senju didn’t want to ask her if the rumours were true but as they made a habit of sharing lunch together she eventually learned a few things about Kaksi.

From the way she subtly clung to her, Senju could tell she had been longing for someone to talk to and so did Senju. Yet there was a certain distance she wanted to keep with her new friend, not because she didn’t want her to get closer but rather because she didn’t want her to get hurt. It felt strange to Senju how quickly she found herself caring about the brunette.

“I can help you with this if you want,” Kaksi suggested, looking at the biology lesson Senju failed to understand despite reading and rereading.

“You’re a savior! Are you free this afternoon after school?”

Kaksi was about to agree when she remembered she had cram school on Wednesday afternoons. She shook her head.

“But I could pass by your place once I’m done,” she told her.

This wouldn’t do. Senju refused politely, making up a quick excuse but Kaksi pointed out regardless that her test was tomorrow morning and if she wanted help last minute this was her only solution. The brunette wouldn’t have insisted if this was the first time Senju had been reticent about having Kaksi over at her place. She didn’t know anything about the Akashi household after all, but Senju had a strange presence.

She was skilled at getting close to Kaksi just enough for her to not doubt their friendship but she was also distant enough that Kaksi started to wonder if maybe she was misinterpreting something. Despite anticipating that asking Senju to come over to her place instead wouldn’t change anything she asked her regardless but all that she earned was another excuse as well as her friend suddenly remembering she had something urgent to pick up now.

Kaksi sighed, left alone, watching the short girl walk away. Ever since they had met, Senju wouldn’t leave her alone but the minute she would want to see her in other settings than school, her friend would grow distant. Now that she thought about it, Senju never actually went to the hairdresser with Kaksi, she went by herself and had told her she had done it on a whim.

This had bothered Kaksi enough to notice it but she decided to stay quiet. Senju was still the light that had emerged in the darkness that was Kaksi’s loneliness and if she desired to keep her at a distance for a moment then so be it. Besides, this took nothing away from the joys of having someone to count on again.

---

“I figured you were too pretty to be single,” Senju told her, nonchalantly. “But I did not expect any of the things you told me.”

They both laughed, back rested against the wall of one of the high school buildings.

“I guess that was a lot for middle schoolers,” Kaksi said, with a sad smile, the memories of what she had just explained to Senju still haunting her.

Senju’s blue eyes stared at her friend for a moment. She felt bad for what Kaksi had to endure but she felt even worse for hiding what she kept. For someone who had paid the price of knowing people this involved in the sad reality of what it meant to be a delinquent, it felt unfair to Senju to ever think about telling Kaksi the truth about who she was.

She wondered what her friend would think if she was to find out, she would probably be terrified and angry but Senju had no intention of ever leaving Kaksi. She would escape death just to be able to laugh and share snacks with her.

Senju’s hand found Kaksi’s cold one and held it gently before resting her head against her shoulder.

“I can’t believe you had to deal with all that.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaksi said, with a small smile. “This got depressing really fast.”

She was surprised that talking about the events that had unfolded almost two years ago didn’t make her cry. Back then it felt like overcoming her feelings were impossible but so many things had changed since. Still, Kaksi could never pretend that her scars didn’t hurt anymore but having met Senju she felt like maybe it was time for her to finally move on.

Senju didn’t say anything, getting up instead and extending her arms to help Kaksi stand up too.

“Let’s go get boba after school,” Senju suggested, smiling and holding both of Kaksi’s hands. “My treat after making you sad.”

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly, this was the first time Senju had proposed meeting outside of school.

“Sure,” she agreed, smiling back and excited to see her after class.

This was something Senju had wanted to avoid, the fear of involving people she cared about with her life as a gang leader and she should have felt bad for putting Kaksi at risk even if it was a little bit but she just wanted a friend so badly. She wanted to go to the movies with Kaksi, go shopping with her, try new restaurants with her and have sleepovers with her. Those were all normal things Senju desired and for the first time, someone could give it to her and not just anyone.

Kaksi could feel her cold hands getting warmer thanks to Senju’s. They parted ways as the bell rang but soon they were reunited again and as they walked down the streets together, Senju found it to be incredibly addictive, maybe as much as Kaksi did too, hand in hers again as if she never left and never would.

---

It was endearing to watch but it remained bittersweet. When Mikey chanced upon the girl he used to love, three years after telling her he didn’t want her in his life anymore, he felt a strange sensation. His heart, which barely ever manifested now, fluttered for the first time in a while, reminding him that despite his feelings fading with time, some things would permanently leave their traces on him.

Kaksi had changed slightly, her hair appeared wavier with new bangs which Mikey thought suited her. She also looked a little more mature and he wondered if she’d grown taller too. He couldn’t be sure as he watched her sitting on the terrace of a coffee shop with an unfamiliar person who he assumed was her friend.

Her smile remained the same as she laughed at what the white haired-girl in front of her said. Mikey knew he should probably not stand there and stare but he couldn’t help it. It had been so long since he had seen her and the memory of her had never disappeared, remaining in the back of his mind.

He wasn’t sure if she had stopped talking to the other Toman members she used to be close with since Mikey would never talk about her but he figured she did. He had stopped seeing her pretty abruptly after all and he wasn’t even sure what her plans would be once she would graduate high school at the end of the school year.

He felt a little jealous about her friend, whoever this girl was she made Kaksi happy, happier than he had ever done. This was what he wished for, for her to move on from the troubles he could only bring to her. So he was relieved that after all, he did manage to keep her safe. Even though it hurt to know he could never be someone important in her life again.

Things had changed for the worst for Mikey but they had changed for the best for Kaksi and while he still missed her terribly he knew things were better this way. Even if Mikey would remain a bystander in her life forever it didn’t matter as long as she was happy and safe. Little did Mikey know though that trouble could never stay too further away from Kaksi.

So it was without knowing who was Kaksi’s innocent friend that Mikey walked away eventually, not sure he would ever see her again but hoping he would not, as staying away from him was more of a blessing than anything else. Then when he was gone it felt like his heart had grown cold once again.

Senju clenched her knuckles, sitting on the couch of the room she used as her office when she needed to talk business with her clients. She had been careless and she wondered what her next move should be. Her brother sat next to her, taking a sip of whiskey from the cold glass in his hands. He didn’t say anything, knowing that pointing out his little sister’s mistakes now would anger her more than anything.

“She’s just my friend,” she said, talking to herself, more than to Takeomi. “She has no business with any of this.”

“But she would have been a good target if you hadn’t anticipated this.”

Senju chuckled but rage overtook her. Whoever they were, this person that thought targeting Kaksi as revenge for whatever dirty business Brahman was involved, they were fucking stupid and would be easy work for Senju. Still, this entire situation was not supposed to happen at all. She knew that trying to rival Toman and having Brahman endorse various crimes would earn her many enemies but still, she had hoped no one would ever think about hurting the one she loved.

She was going to keep Kaksi safe and had already tightened her security but this still didn’t solve her main issue. Senju needed to tell her the truth. She had thought about it for a long time, and as her guilt built up and her fear increased she had found herself going out of her way to protect her, and this was exactly how she had come to learn someone thought of Kaksi as an easy target.

While Senju was confident that this would not happen again, she knew she had been selfish and if she had been any less careful, this could have cost her the life of an innocent person she cared deeply about. It was sickening, to say the least, and she realised it was terribly unfair to Kaksi. Senju was almost sure that once her secret would be unveiled that Kaksi would understandably part ways with her.

Her friend would be starting college soon anyways she thought, maybe this was the right time to tell her. Senju hoped that not seeing Kaksi would make it easier for her to move on once she would decide a relationship wasn’t worth continuing with her. This brought tears to her eyes as she barely slept that night but she couldn’t lie to her best friend forever.

---

“So you lied to me?” Kaksi barked at her.

The truth that Senju had just revealed to her on this Thursday afternoon felt like another knife sinking in her heart. Not only was her friend lying to her ever since they had met but she was also the head of an infamous gang, competing with Toman in the underground world.

“I was just trying to protect you.”

This was another lie. No, Senju had just been selfish and they both knew it.

“You knew how badly I needed to get away from all this,” Kaksi said, her brown eyes filled with tears.

She was right but Senju hadn’t anticipated that she would have grown that attached to this girl she meant to only share lunch with. By the time Kaksi had told her about her painful past they were already too close for Senju to even imagine how she would feel if she was to lose her.

“I’m sorry,” was all Senju could say as she watched her friend cry for the first time. “I fucked up.”

Kaksi stayed quiet for a moment. She couldn’t believe that even after all this time she could never really get rid of the ghosts of her past. No matter who she loved they always somehow found themselves involved in things Kaksi could never control. She didn’t want to try to understand why a person as kind and sweet as Senju would spend her life covered in blood.

There were a hundred peer-reviewed papers on the risks of delinquency she could easily dig up if she wanted to but as she was faced with her best friend’s betrayal she decided that it didn’t matter. Whatever reasons Senju would give her, it would never make up for her broken trust and heart. So, filled with anger and sadness, she asked the girl to never speak to her again.

Senju didn’t even want to argue with her; these were the expected consequences of her mistakes. So she left without a word, closing Kaksi’s door behind her, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. She wished that things were less complicated but as Brahman’s leader, this wasn’t a position she wanted to leave. She had grown up thinking that it was normal to live against the laws. She wished she could blame Takeomi for raising her this way but Senju knew she could only blame herself.

Kaksi and her were far too different after all and she didn’t want her friend to understand her, she didn’t think there was anything to understand. While it hurt to walk away from the only person she could say she trusted entirely with her heart and soul, there wasn’t anything she could do except comply with Kaksi’s wishes and not hold onto the past years spent by her side.

---

As usual, Kaksi found that drowning her troubles with keeping her mind busy worked. Not spending any more time with Senju she used her free time to study harder as the anxiety of graduation approached along with the tiring process she would have to go through to be accepted into one of the universities she wished to enter.

As she went through her notes for the hundredth time she wondered why even Senju would bother with school if she planned on spending her life making money through drugs, assault and prostitution. She doubted she would ever get an answer and she realised it didn’t really matter, she didn’t think she knew or understood Senju that much after all.

She missed her though and she loved her, so much that she wondered how bad morally it would be to make up with her and how dangerous exactly was it to stay in her close circle. This was all irrational thinking, she knew and she would benefit a lot if she used that energy to learn her physics lesson instead but Kaksi was tired of losing people she cared about.

Which was worse? Dying prematurely but surrounded by the people she loved or dying old but lonely? She wanted to believe that it was bad luck that had her meet the wrong people but what if she just could never run away from what she longed to escape? Maybe Kumi had made the right decision leaving Tokyo and maybe she should do the same but leaving was unlike her, wasn’t it?

She knew she was wrong for thinking this way but how would Senju ever move on from all this if no outside forces pulled her out of it? Kaksi was aware that wanting to stay by Senju’s side hoping that she would leave behind the path she had currently chosen was a waste of time but she was an idealist and way more optimistic than she thought she was.

Or maybe loneliness was that scary, she didn’t really know. What she did know though was that Senju wanted her by her side, unlike everyone else she had never wanted to leave her behind. Even if it was selfish in a way, it felt good to know that someone needed Kaksi as much as she needed them. Still hesitant, she gave the situation more thought.

Senju felt like she couldn’t even look at Kaksi when she walked down the hallways and the fact that the girl would pass by as if she had never even known her made it all the more painful. Both of them sat by themselves and ate lunch separately again. They both realized their separation was dreadfully obvious since multiple people would ask them why they weren’t seen together anymore.

Kaksi would tell them this was none of their business while Senju told them to get lost. Soon she started wondering why she even bothered attending high school anymore - she had already chosen the path she would be taking as early as her first year and if Kaksi wasn’t going to help her out with her biology classes then she had no interest in spending any more time around these people.

She wondered if Kaksi would care if she dropped out of high school now but she realised she should not think about her friend at all. Even though it was impossible when she would see her face every day. So she made her decision and stopped attending school. Once Kaksi noticed, she worried about Senju but she figured this was none of her business. Part of her was scared that something bad had happened and she thought about texting her but she figured that if that was the case, she would rather not know.

They both ached from the separation regardless. Senju felt like she was always on edge and all the little things that once brought her joy became boring to her but that might have been because Kaksi made everything better. Senju was shocked by all the pieces of herself that Kaksi had left in her life.

As Senju brushed her hair while getting ready to sleep, she found the cherry-scented lip balm Kaksi wore hidden in the drawer of her vanity. She picked it up and smiled before applying it to her lips, she ran her tongue over them slowly, enjoying the sweet taste. It tasted better on Kaksi’s lips though, she remembered. The memory saddened her and yet she couldn’t help thinking about her first sleepover at Kaksi’s place.

Only the orange light from the lamp on her bedside table was on as they laid next to each other in bed. They had started play-fighting when Kaksi touched Senju’s bare legs with her cold feet but being much stronger than her friend Senju had managed to overpower her and remained on top, hugging her tightly instead.

She remembered they had talked about nothing and everything while she listened to her heartbeat. Back then Kaksi had thought she had never held another girl this close to her, even when she would hug Kumi it felt different but maybe it was because she was a few years older now, she didn’t really know. What she did know was that it was enjoyable.

Eventually, Senju had gotten slightly annoyed when Kaksi mentioned Kazutora again, but she figured it was normal to feel that way about him considering how he had hurt Kaksi and that despite that she had promised to wait for him until his sentence would be over. She didn’t say anything though, instead listening to her friend’s soft voice.

“I guess I’ll just have to wait until Kazutora’s out,” she had said.

Senju had rolled her eyes at that sentence, thankful that Kaksi couldn’t see her expression from the position they were in.

“You’re seriously not going to date or do anything at all with anyone until he’s out?” Senju had asked, hiding her annoyance as best as she could.

“I guess so.”

“You know seven years is a long time and there’s a lot of cute guys out there to make out with.”

Kaksi had chuckled then.

“Kazutora’s cuter,” she had joked.

“As cute as me?” Senju had asked teasingly, looking up at Kaksi this time.

“Okay, maybe not as cute as you but unlike him, you don’t want to kiss me.”

“Who said that?” Senju had replied, thinking she wouldn’t mind if they kissed once or maybe more now than she thought about it again.

It wasn’t visible but that comment had the heat spread over Kaksi’s features and as much as she wanted to ignore it she knew this was not a response she would have towards any of her friends, no this feeling was too familiar. Kaksi hadn’t said anything and Senju thought she should be filling the silence.

“I’ll kiss you if you want,” she told her, smiling.

And so they kissed. It was Senju’s first, slow and soft. Her lips pressed against Kaksi’s shyly and she worried for a second about how she would feel if her friend pulled away but she didn’t. Kaksi’s hand held Senju’s face instead and she kissed her back tenderly, her tongue meeting hers soon. This wasn’t an innocent kiss, both of them knew but never addressed it. They didn’t have to, they were as close as ever and cared about each other.

They hadn’t kissed again after that night though Senju wished they had, she wasn’t sure Kaksi did, however. Despite that moment they had shared, she would still talk about Kazutora and all the plans she had for the two of them. Senju hadn’t expected her to forget Kazutora after one kiss but she wished Kaksi was a little more realistic sometimes.

But it didn’t matter anymore, Kazutora was more likely to kiss Kaksi than Senju would ever again now and that thought sickened her. Senju rolled over under her bedsheets and considered she should get rid of the small things that reminded her of Kaksi. Even though she wasn’t sure this would help in any way.

---

The spring of the year 2008 marked the beginning of a new chapter in Kaksi’s life. As she woke up by herself in her newly rented apartment, a few minutes from her campus she wondered how Kumi was doing. She had stopped trying to reach her years ago but not thinking about her was almost impossible. She should be a college freshman like her now, probably attending a prestigious university.

For a moment Kaksi wondered if Kumi would ever return to Tokyo and if she had made the right decision not following through with her college applications to other parts of Japan. Despite the fresh smell of change and flowers blooming outside, she couldn’t help feeling like she was heading nowhere.

Kaksi hadn’t talked to Senju in months and she wondered if moving out from her parents' house had been a good idea after all as the weight of loneliness never really disappeared. She quickly got invested in her classes though, finding her field of study very interesting and fulfilling although she did struggle a little bit with adapting to her new lifestyle. She did not make any friends that semester, finding the number of people attending her classes a little too intimidating but maybe she was just too fragile still to try again.

On her way back home one afternoon she had decided to treat herself to coffee and some pastries, heading to the nearest bakery. It was a pet shop however that had caught her attention while she made her way over there. She stared through the glass windows and smiled at the sight of a few puppies, energetically playing with each other.

“An archaeologist?” he asked. “What even is that?”

Kazutora chuckled as a frown appeared on Kaksi’s face.

“Are you serious?” she asked, disappointed by Baji’s answer. “It’s a scientist who studies history by digging up human remains and artefacts.”

“Boring!” he complained, rolling his eyes at her. “Sounds like something you would enjoy.”

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly before hitting his arm but Baji laughed as a response.

“Well I want to be a pet shop owner!” he said with a wide smile. “Pets love me. What about you, Kazutora?”

Kazutora stayed quiet for a moment, realizing he had never really thought about that question before.

“I don’t know.”

“You should work at my pet shop then!” Baji suggested excitedly as if he had been suddenly struck by the greatest idea.

Kazutora laughed.

“Seems like a good plan.”

Kaksi’s eyes filled with tears as the memory replayed in her mind and she decided it was time for her to move. She barely ate the chocolate muffin she had bought and drank her coffee once it was completely cold once she was home. It had been a long time since she had seen Baji and Kazutora but not long enough for her to contain her feelings it seemed.

She should pay Baji a visit, she decided. She would go tomorrow afternoon with some flowers. The last time she had visited his grave was on his birthday last year but she figured she should tell him that after all, she had decided to not pursue her studies with the goal of becoming an archaeologist. It was a little sad how the three of them would not achieve what they had talked about back when the days were simpler.

---

Kaksi was happy to see Baji’s grave wasn’t without flowers when she arrived. Even though they were dried up now, it seemed like someone had dropped him some not too long ago. She placed the new ones she had just bought over the dead ones and sat in front of his grave, a sad smile on her lips. As she usually did when she visited, Kaksi talked to Baji.

“I started college,” she told him. “I decided I’d study psychology though not anthropology.”

She paused for a moment as if she was waiting for an answer.

“I’m not sure you would find this less boring though,” she joked, smiling.

Kaksi filled the silence with a few more sentences and stopped once tears started rolling down her cheeks. She dried them off quickly before standing up and bidding goodbye to Baji. She really could never seem to stop crying when she would come to visit him. She left with a smile regardless but it faded quickly once her eyes landed on the man heading in her direction only a few meters away.

His green eyes widened at the sight of Kaksi and he stopped in his tracks. He didn’t think he would see her here or at all. Both of them stared at each other for a moment before breaking eye contact and starting to walk again in the direction they were headed. Chifuyu wondered if he should stop and talk to her as he approached and the same question clouded her mind.

They had both subconsciously agreed to stop midway between Baji’s grave and the exit of the cemetery. Chifuyu was hesitant to speak but he gave her a small smile. She had changed, he had noticed. She looked healthy but he couldn’t tell if she was happy or not, her brown eyes unreadable to him. Kaksi wanted to compliment his own hairstyle change but she didn’t say anything except for a polite greeting.

“It’s been a while,” Kaksi added, hesitant.

“Yeah.”

Chifuyu rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He hoped she was doing good but he didn’t think it would be wise to catch up with Kaksi.

“I hope you’re doing well, Chifuyu,” she said with a little smile, not waiting for his answer before walking away.

He murmured a little thanks and you too and even though he wanted to talk to her, Chifuyu walked towards Baji’s grave instead. Kaksi could feel a new wave of tears washing over her and she decided to sit on an empty bench she had spotted on her way home. She missed all of them so much still and the fear of never getting over these feelings took over her once again.

At that moment she knew what she had to do. She needed to see her again, she didn’t think she could stand eating by herself again tonight. Kaksi took out her phone and dialled Senju’s number. When Kaksi’s named appeared on her screen, Senju almost dropped her phone. She picked up as quickly as she could and wondered if she was dreaming for a moment. She didn’t excuse herself as she ran out of her office, leaving her brother behind.

“Kaksi?” she said, in a small voice.

She could hear the girl sniffle at the other end of the line and Senju worried for a moment.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kaksi replied, her voice trembling. “I just miss you.”

Senju’s blue eyes automatically filled with tears at those words.

“I miss you too.”

Kaksi smiled.

“Do you think we could meet soon?”

“We can meet now,” Senju replied. “Where are you?”

The brunette chuckled before sharing her location with her friend. Senju didn’t think twice before heading out to meet Kaksi. So she did miss Senju as much as she missed her but was that really enough for her to be forgiven? Senju was scared that her friend had only called her in a moment of weakness and she would lose her again somehow but as she appeared at the crossroads where Kaksi stood she figured it didn’t matter if she could be reunited with her even for a short moment.

Her friend smiled at her, her nose and eyes still red from crying. Senju walked over to her as quickly as she could and it was arms wide open that she welcomed her, embracing her tightly. Senju held her just as tightly, her face resting against her chest. They stood on the sidewalk like this for a moment. Then as Kaksi was reminded of how comforting Senju’s warmth felt, she decided she couldn’t afford to lose her again.

#baji x oc #kazutora x oc #tokyorev #off target effects #collab fic #mae.writing #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyo revengers #longfic

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a-simple-imagine · 4 years

Text

The Smarter Witch

Synopsis: You like to consider Hermione your academic rival but things begin to fall apart between the two of you when Malfoy and friends start asking questions. The reader is in Slytherin sorry.

Pairing: Hermione Granger x fem!reader (can be read as romantic or platonic)

Words: 3.5+

A/N - I’ve been rewatching all the Harry Potter Movies at the cinema recently and I think i like it more now than I ever did before. This is my first HP story so go easy on me, okay? Comments are appreciated and requests are open!!

Warnings - Swearing, excessive use of the word mudblood... i think that’s it.

"Granger," You call out, shoving your things into your bag as quick as humanly possible before charging after her. The crowd of other students growing the distance between you as you slip between them but not without almost crashing into people a bunch of times along the way. "Granger- wait." You try but she continues to walk away with Potter and Weasley beside her. You eventually manage to push your way through until you're walking in step with the trio. The girl stands in the middle, guarded by her two best friends.

"Hey," You offer them a smile, "Guess who got a perfect?"

"How?" It's instinctive to turn your nose up when it comes to Ronald Weasley. Not because of his social status like Malfoy suggests but you just found him rather... irritating. You completely ignore his question; breaking formation, you get ahead of the group and begin to carefully walk backwards so you can focus on the girl. She looked anywhere but at you, however, she had a smirk on her lips. Small but visible.

"Only because Snape favours you," The brunette proclaimed. This was routine for the two of you as of late. Always making excuses as to why the other came out on top. Only because of this. Only because of that. It was never as simple as just studying and doing well.

"You're just jealous that I'm a genius." You insist, your smile growing as you teased your own brilliance. Her head shakes a little.

"Since when were you, two friends?"

"Nobody said anything about friends Weasley-" You growl, your once happy expression morphing into one of pure distaste as you look at him. Spinning gracefully on your heel, you begin to walk normally again. "Since I'm so much smarter than you, I can help you study if you need it."

"I don't need any help from the likes of you, thank you," The likes of you? Did she mean a Slytherin? Or just someone who was smarter than her? Although you didn't actually believe you were smarter... well, not entirely anyway. Hermione Granger was often proclaimed as the smartest in your grade, didn't matter how hard you worked; you'd never quite be the promising young witch everyone seemed to think she was. Which is why you find yourself constantly competing. If you can prove to her you were smart then maybe everyone would see you as more than just a Malfoy crony.

You slap your hand against your chest just above your heart; stumbling backwards as if she just shot an arrow straight through. "Oh, how you wound me, Miss Granger. Care to share how well you did? One hundred percent?" She wouldn't have done badly at least not by everyone else's standard of bad. "Ninety maybe?" You turn back to them, coming to halt directly in front of the girl. "Merlin's beard Hermione, don't tell me you got less than eighty? That would be a travesty."

"if you don't mind, we're a little busy." She hadn't answered the question and as she walked around you, you expected she wasn't going to. "Come along Harry," she took his hand. "Ronald." And his before marching away. You watch them as they go, a smirk lingering before slipping off in search of your friends.

Come Friday afternoon and you found yourself in the great hall. The busy castle was beginning to calm and few people sat in the tables alongside the two of you. You take a sip of some water as you watch the gears in her head turn, debated her next move. At this point you already knew you would win; you always did. While everything else was more of a competition; Hermione Granger surprisingly wasn't all too hard to beat at Wizard's chess. Your Fridays together we're brilliant times to chat though, you'd often sum up any achievements from the week just to see who's doing better.

"I can't believe you beat me in history of magic again- I spent hours on that stupid essay. I basically lived in the library."

"I can help you study if you like," she offered, her eyes not leaving the board as she ordered her bishop forward. You watch as the chess piece moves along the board.

"You're not funny Granger," you tease, ordering your knight forward to take down her bishop. "Check,"

A paper ball hit the back of your head, drawing your attention away. Pansy stood with a wide grin on display, you ignored her and returned to your game but Hermione was also focused on your friend. "I think she wants your attention."

Another paper ball collides against your head. You sigh loudly before turning and mouthing 'what?'

"We're going down to the black lake? You coming?" She asked. "Or are you too busy with the Gryffindor?"

"just give me a sec." You wave her away, turning back to the other girl. "Have you moved?" She nods a little, her hair bouncing with the movements. You examine the board trying to figure out who she had moved but it didn't really matter. With a final move of your queen, the king was knocked off the board. "I do believe that is checkmate."

"I'm beginning to think you're cheating."

"Me?" You ask, pretending to be offended by the notion. "Never. How little faith you have me in, Granger."

"Slytherins are known for being cunning."

"We're not all cheating monsters, my dear sweet Gryffindor. Some of us actually have a conscience."

"I find that hard to believe," Her lips were curled into a cheeky smile. You'd never quite noticed the way her eyes crinkle when her smile is so big or how teethy it was. It was adorable.

"I gotta go- same time next week? Maybe I'll even let you win."

"I don't need you to let me win,"

"You sure?" Nothing more than a harmless joke as you stand. "How many times in a row have I won now?"

"Slither away," Hermione smiles as you back away towards Pansy. You had to admit, you did firm Hermione to be intriguing.

Being in the same year, meant you actually saw Hermione rather frequently, however, your actual interactions were limited. Yes, you played Wizard's chess together every Friday but other than that, you basically only had very short conversations. It was like being in two completely different worlds simply because you were put in different houses. This school had a weird obsession with separation by houses. You were a proud Slytherin as were you friends but your ambition to branch out was often looked at as beneath some of the others. It was dinner time and you sat at the Slytherin table but your focus was pulled towards a certain familiar Gryffindor student. She just happened to be sat in your eye line, so you couldn't help but amuse her from afar. With funny faces and playful winks. Her most common reactions were shakes of the head or rolling her eyes but you knew secretly she enjoyed the teasing.

"Are you even listening?" A sharp elbow slams into your side. You bite back a groan as you shove the boy gently.

"The hell Draco,"

"What are you staring at?" There was a particularly bite behind his words but you'd grown used to how aggressive he could come across. He was always trying to be the alpha and frankly, everyone let him be. You simply shrug at his question; grabbing an apple and taking a bite.

"What did you want?"

The grey of his eyes flickers in curiosity as he tries to figure out what had you so distracted. When you look across at Granger, she's chatting to Ginny Weasley about something.

"Sometimes I wonder if the sorting hat got it wrong with you," He muses. "Should have put you in Gryffindor since you're so obsessed with Potter."

"Says the boy who never shuts up about him." You fight back. You couldn't care less about Harry Potter or his chosen one status. You knew Malfoy hated him though; it was a little weird just how much.

"You gravely misunderstand my interest in potter."

"I don't care if you have a crush on him Malfoy," There are a few snickers around the table but he's definitely not laughing.

"Don't be ridiculous." He growled, leaving the table. It was only a joke. You follow after him along with the others.

After dinner, you're lounging in the common room. One leg hooked over the arm of the couch as you read a book all about dragons. Fascinating creatures.

"So are you and the Gryffindor friends?"

"Who?" You question. Not even looking at the blonde as he sits down beside you.

"Granger." He confirms. "Pansy thinks you have a crush or something?"

"Pansy is a liar." The joke isn't as funny when it's against you. Your feelings towards Granger was nobody else's business but your own. You were often left conflicted when it came to her. You roll your eyes, sitting up straight. "I just like proving that I'm better than her."

"You spend a lot of time with her," Goyle adds.

"So?" You finally lower your book. Your brows knitted together in a clear frown as you scan the room. A few people had invited themselves into the conversation. "I spend a lot of time with you but doesn't mean I wanna get into your pants,"

"I don't know why you associate with any of them." This was beginning to feel like a lecture. Why do they even care who you hang out with? You didn't care much for the boys but you liked Hermione. She was kind, funny and really smart. You enjoyed the little time you ultimately spent together but if you admitted that, they would crucify you.

"They'd probably say the same about you lot," you state. Bringing the large book back up to cover your face. "Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to read here,"

"You can tell us if you like her," Pansy contributes. "I mean we all know you have a soft spot for the weak."

"Are you taking pity on her?"

"Maybe she wants to start hanging out with Potter. Can you imagine?"

You grit your teeth, not at all reading the words on the page in front of you. They're just trying to get a rise out of you.

"I can't imagine anything more pathetic," Malfoy chuckles followed by a few of the others. "They're an embarrassment to the wizarding world if you ask me. Parading around like they own the place-"

"We're nothing okay?" You slap your book shut. "Not friends or secret lovers or anything, I would never date someone so.... dirty." The word slipped out before you had a chance to stop. You didn't see her that way; she was much too grand to be considered dirty. And you couldn't care less about pure bloodlines. It didn't make her any less of a fantastic witch. "I'm not joining Potter's Merry band of monkeys, so just drop it okay." Ignoring the snickers and hushed whispers, you march off to bed.

It's the Friday following your little session in the common room. You forgave them all of course; you always did. There was no point in being angry at them over some harmless teasing. You had the chessboard set up and even brought along a pack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans but she was running late. Normally it was you showing up late; very unusual behaviour from someone known for punctuality. But as time ticked on and you were still left alone, you began to realise she wasn't going to turn up. Packing everything up, you decide it'll be best to search for her; something bad must have happened for her to not show at all.

"Weasley," you shout, jogging up to Harry and Ron who seemed to be missing their third arm. "You seen granger?"

"Why?" Asks the redhead. Harry presents you with a smile.

"None of your business," you spit at Ron. "Have you seen her or not?"

"Last we saw her she said she was heading to the library," Harry answered. You offer a grateful smile but you can't help but wonder why she's decided to head to the library. Was there a test you didn't know about? Was she trying to get the upper hand? Surely she could have just told you that instead of having you wait.

"Thanks, Harry," You skip along to the library but the journey proves pointless when you discover she isn't there either. You would be lying if you said you had searched particularly hard before giving up though. There was always next week. With a defeated sigh, you head back towards the common room. Luck must have been on your side because you spot her on the way back. Perched on a ledge with her head in a book. Typical Hermione Granger.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," you announce as you walk towards her. "I thought we were gonna play wizards chess so I could annihilate you again." The faintest sniffle hit your ears and you froze. Was she... crying? Shit. You don't do well with criers; you never know how to handle situations when people cry. It's always so... awkward. "What's wrong?"

"Go away." Her voice is quiet but echoes through the empty corridor.

"Granger?" You closer to her now, leaning against one of the stone columns.

"I said go away," Her words are harsh; she shoves her face further into the book. Was she trying to hide the fact she had been crying? It was pretty obvious at this point.

"What's up with you?" You wonder, folding your arms over your chest.

"I don't want to talk to you,"

"What did I do?" The confusion is very clear in your voice. You'd hardly even spoken to the girl recently so how could you have possibly upset her.

"You're as bad as the rest of them, now leave me alone," Sharp words as she grabbed her things and stormed off. As bad as the rest of them? What did that even mean? Pushing yourself upright, you follow after her.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Just some filthy mudblood am I?" Venomous words spat at you with the speed of a viper. You stumble back a little; she's never been so angry with you. Tears spill down her rosy cheeks."Malfoy told me what you said- Guess I should have known better considering your so-called friends. You're just as cruel as the rest of them."

"Hermione..." you sigh softly. You couldn't exactly defend your fellow Slytherin friends. "Why do you believe him anyway?"

"So you didn't say it then."

"No, I did," you shrug a little. "Well I said you were dirty, I didn't say... that word."

"Mudblood- Same thing though right? You think you're so much better just because you're of Pure blood."

"I didn't say that, I-"

"Just stay away from me." Her tone has you backing down from the fight. You consider following her as she charges off down the hall but instead, you go back to the dorms.

"You're a right git," you exclaim, storming into the room, grip tight on the book you launch at his head. Platinum blonde hair darts of the way.

"What the hell."

"You told her?" All eyes are on you as you confront him.

"What are you on about?"

"Hermione- you told her I thought she was dirty."

"Your words, not mine." Draco shrugged a little. A huff of a laugh passing his lips which pissed you off even more.

"I-," you look around, picking up a pillow and tossing it at him. "You are such a pain in the ass."

"Why do you care about that filthy mudblood, you said you don't even like her?"

"I don't even like you and yet we're best friends," You shout, looking at the coffee table you grab a mug and aim at the boy. Draco's hand shoots up in defense.

"Don't you dare throw that at me or I swear-" He fought back. You lower your hand and so does he then you throw it anyway, hearing it break as you collapse on the couch. "You don't need someone like that." He muses as he cautiously approaches the couch.

"We can't all be insufferable snobs Malfoy," you grumble, rather casually considering what just happened. "You mess up everything for no bloody reason"

"Probably shouldn't go around calling her dirty then," He argues. "I didn't make you say that..."

The boy hovers over the back of the couch and you shove him away. "I hate you."

You realise you have to be the one because Malfoy's not about to admit he did anything wrong. And you know at the end of the day it was your fault for saying it in the first place. You retire to your bed, no longer watching to deal with other people.

For the next week or so Hermione avoids you like the plague. You'd obviously see her in some of your classes but when you'd try to speak to her after, she'd rush out before you had a chance to so much as saying hi. If you managed to catch her gaze, she'd stare daggers; if looks could kill you'd be six feet under by now. You'd sometimes find her in the library, it was the one place she could cause a scene but neither could you. When you tried to whisper to her, she'd completely ignore you. You were beginning to miss the limited interaction you hard; Half the fun of studying was ultimately doing better than her in the end.

The girl was alone today, searching the shelves. The library was fairly empty and it was getting late. You take the opportunity to make some paper birds and send them fluttering over to her. One by one until she whispers yells at you to stop. You chuckle. Doing it again. This develops into a habit throughout the next couple of days. You'll send paper birds her way, just to get a reacting out of her. You start writing little messages on them too but you don't think she ever reads them before setting them on fire.

It becomes abundantly clear she's not giving in and therefore one day during breakfast you abandon your table and enter what Malfoy would consider enemy territory. Pushing Neville aside to sit next to Hermione. A bunch of lions look to you like you'd just entered their den without permission; in their defense, you never sit here. Hermione gets up to leave but not before you can grab her wrist.

"Can you please stop ignoring me," she yanks out of your grip, walking away to leave you surrounded by kids you've only ever spoken to in passing. You groan loudly.

"What happened between you two?" Ron asked.

"Do you ever keep out of other people's business Weasley or do you have some obsessive need to weasel your way into everything."

"Just tryna help, jeez."

"If you must know, Malfoy told her that I referred to her as a... y'know."

"Mudblood?" Harry continues for you.

"I called her dirty but I didn't mean it."

"Thought you weren't friends anyway," Ron wore a smirk like he caught you out or something so you just ignore him.

"Now she's ignoring me. I just want her to talk to me."

"Have you apologised?"

"How can I apologise if she won't bloody talk to me, Harry? I thought you were supposed to be smart." You comment, dropping your head against the table. "I've tried writing notes but she burns all of them. I'm running out of ideas, I can only be so charming."

"Can't really help you there," Ron replies.

"All the boys in this school are so bloody useless," you sigh dramatically, slamming your hands on the table to push yourself up. "You’re her best friends and you can't help? Pathetic."

You debate joining the others but you decide against it and leave the great hall. You're not hungry anymore.

"You really should stop sending paper birds," The voice catches you off guard, whipping your wand out before realising it's her.

"I'll stop if you talk to me again," You counter, lowering your wand.

"I'm not ashamed of my parents."

"And you shouldn't be." Your head falls, "I really am sorry for what I said, it was definitely a peer pressure thing and I was stupid." You blurt out. "Malfoy can just be a lot sometimes and I was trying to study so... I don't think you're less than just because your parents are muggles Hermione. Not even a little." You take a deep breath. "I just want my friend back."

She hesitates. "Oh, so we're friends now huh?"

"Only if you want to be," You shrug. There was part of you that wanted to say maybe you like her as more than that but you kept it to yourself; at least for now. "I understand if you don't like... I was really shitty."

"So Friday then?"

"What?"

"Wizards chess? I think I may be able to beat you now, I've been practising."

"Pfft not likely," You tease, your smile growing. "Friday sounds good."

// NEXT

#hermione granger #Hermione Granger x reader #hermione fanfiction #Hermione x reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #emma watson

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adenei · 3 years

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Day 17: January Word Challenge

Summary: Ron meets with Professor McGonagall for his 5th year Career Advice Meeting. No pairing, but I won’t deny that Romione is 100% implied.

Positivity

“Good afternoon, Mr. Weasley. Please have a seat,” Professor McGonagall said as Ron entered the room.

He wasn’t sure what to expect. The twins weren’t entirely helpful when they saw the bulletin for the career advice meetings, and each student was scheduled sporadically. His was consequently one of the first. So much for relying on alphabetical order, he thought as he took a seat.

“Now as you know, we hold these meetings before students take their O.W.L. exams to give them an idea of what courses they’ll need to achieve high marks in to pursue their career of choice. Have you given any thought to what may interest you after you complete your Hogwarts education?” Minerva asked.

Ron felt his ears grow hot at the professor’s question. He knew what he wanted to say, but hesitated, doubting she’d react positively. His grades were mediocre, and he wasn’t exceptional in any particular subject, but he was consistent in his classes across the spectrum.

“Well, Mr. Weasley? I don’t mean to rush you, but we don’t have a lot of time,” Professor McGonagall pressed.

“I, er–I’ve given a bit of thought to being an Auror,” Ron admitted finally.

He stared at the biscuit tin on his Head of House’s desk in an attempt to avoid seeing her reaction. After a few seconds had passed, he glanced up at McGonagall briefly to see what was taking her so long to answer. She was watching him with her piercing gaze, no doubt thinking of a way to let him down gently. Somehow, he knew his aspirations were too good to be true.

Eventually, he saw her nod ever so briefly as she picked up a pile of brochures. She pulled one out and opened it. Her eyes flitted quickly across the tri-fold. “To pursue a career as an Auror will take significant effort. You will need top grades in all of your classes. Entering the training program alone requires five N.E.W.T.’s, and nothing under ‘Exceeds Expectations’ will permit you into the training program.”

“What are the courses?” Ron asked, finally looking up.

He was surprised that Professor McGonagall was explaining the material. Of course the Aurors wouldn’t be an easy option, but there wasn’t anything else that Ron could see himself doing. If he was being honest, all these years at Harry’s side as he fought off Voldemort had given him an interest in keeping the magical world safe. Especially now that he knew Voldemort was back.

“Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, and Herbology. I will have you know that I do not accept anyone into my N.E.W.T. courses with marks less than “Exceeds Expectations,’ on their Transfiguration O.W.L.’s. And Professor Snape only accepts those who receive ‘Outstanding’ on their Potions O.W.L.

“Maybe I should find something else, then,” Ron said as he immediately slumped in his chair.

If he studied twice as hard, he could probably achieve the appropriate Transfiguration marks. But Potions? There was no way he’d be able to achieve an Outstanding!

“Mr. Weasley, do not count yourself out so quickly,” Professor McGonagall said, surprising him. “According to Professors Flitwick and Sprout, your Charms and Herbology marks are ‘Acceptable’ and ‘Exceeds Expectations,’ and your Defense Against the Dark Arts marks are also satisfactory. If you put in the extra revisions, you will surely be able to follow this path.”

Ron looked up surprisingly at her words, but still didn’t believe them to be true. “There’s no way I’ll be able to achieve an O in Potions, though” he said, eyeing the other pamphlets on her desk as he began having second thoughts about his choice.

“Mr. Weasley, if I may—” Professor McGonagall started, “you are highly capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. All of the professors have noted your promise, and it is my personal opinion that the only thing lacking is a bit of self confidence and positivity. You’ve been named Prefect of your year, as well as Keeper on the Quidditch team, and despite the extra responsibilities, you are still able to keep up on your schoolwork. Managing all that you are involved in is not an easy task.”

He was surprised to hear her mention his extracurriculars. He always assumed being named Prefect was a mistake, and therefore didn’t take much stock in the badge and his duties. “Er, right, about that. Why did you choose me for Prefect, anyways?” The question slipped out before he could stop it.

McGonagall looked a bit taken aback. “Why would I not choose you?” she asked rhetorically. “You are dependable, your grades are up to snuff, and you have a strong moral compass when it comes to right and wrong with a level head on your shoulders. Might I add you do well to help keep Ms. Granger grounded.” She paused for a moment. “It also does not hurt that you are the only person in your class that is not afraid to go toe-to-toe when it is necessary. Mind you that is not the reason for which you were chosen, but simply an added bonus,” McGonagall finished with a knowing look.

Ron gave her a weak smile. So it wasn’t a fluke after all. He had been chosen for Prefect purposely. He was beginning to think that maybe he could be an Auror. It wasn’t like McGonagall laughed at his career suggestion. Plus, she was still going over the qualifications. Surely, that had to mean something!

“Now, back to the matter at hand. The Aurors are incredibly selective in who they choose to take on in the program. There have not been any new recruits in recent years. Not only that, but the training requires three more years following your time at Hogwarts, so your commitment to the program will be of utmost importance.”

Ron nodded at her words. Yeah, it was going to prove a lot of work, but the more she talked, the more Ron felt that this was meant to be his calling. He could do this, or at least he could try.

Once his meeting concluded, he thanked Professor McGonagall, and left with a renewed sense of not feeling as hopeless of a Hogwarts student and wizard. Sure, he wasn’t brilliant like Hermione, but maybe he did have his own strengths after all. He certainly felt better now that he had a direction to take his studies, and perhaps he could write off History of Magic and Divination once and for all. No more Binns or Trelawney after this year! Ron thought as made his way back to the Gryffindor common room.

#Ron Weasley #minerva mcgonagall #hp ootp #implied romione #mcgonagall totally ships them #31 days of January Word Challenge

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weeklyfangirl · 4 years

Text

Frat Boy Pt. 22

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20, part 21

Hope everyone is keeping themselves mentally/physically well... here’s the next update in your adventure. Please safely read from home ;)

The sun moved slowly up my window, illuminating the dancing dust in the air. Even though I knew dust didn’t have feelings, it all still looked very peaceful, suspended there in space.

I wanted to be suspended, floating, with no obligations or pressures.

Instead, I watched time slip by, slowly, as the shadows stretched along my floor and I lay still, wrapped in a giant Winnie-the-Pooh sheets burrito.

I called in sick the past three days to work and to all my classes, my lack of attendance probably dropping me a letter grade in a few classes. Instead of checking on my academic scholarship, I begged Renny to drop off Dr. Rhinecuff’s papers for me. She did, lamenting about how his office smelled like roast beef and how she probably needed a nose job from it shrivelling up from the stench. Tired, I sent her three hearts, ignoring all of her calls and voicemails.

In a random bout of restless energy, I looked up the University of Oxford in England. No one would know me there. And maybe that wasn’t a bad thing when you didn’t even know yourself. I stayed on their site for an hour, avoiding my take-home assignments, and speculating which classes I could take in the spring semester. My eyes grew tired though, and even if I were accepted as a transfer student, it wasn’t like I could ever afford it without scholarships.

I closed the computer.

It’d been cloudy, rainy. The random storm that’d come in from Mexico lasted longer than the usual morning fog that’d roll in and out by the time it was 9 AM. This storm lingered, heavy, full clouds looking to burst and unleash a steady rain for three to four hours before the clouds rested, storing up all they could until the next downpour.

My parents didn’t question me when I came in, used to my random visits. But when I went straight to my room without saying hello, rain-plastered hair covering puffy eyes, my mom basically collapsed at the sight.

She followed me to the bed, trying to see my face, but I buried it in the pillow, ignoring the way the purple fringe tickled my nose.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

I just groaned. Her voice was too gentle, too well-intending for the dark thoughts sitting in my mind. She’d be heartbroken if she heard them.

She huffed, not out of annoyance, but distress. “What’s bothering you?? Is it Renny? Did you breakup with Harry?” All those reasons were too simple. She ran her hands lightly along my legs, but I cringed away from her touch. It was something I rarely did. She paused. “You can tell me anything...”

I shook my head against the pillow, my last attempt to tell her to leave without speaking. She waited a moment longer.

“Okay,” she said. And that was it.

Father didn’t ask questions, not even when I was here for the third consecutive day. Mom had probably come to her own conclusions, and shared them with him.

“Mom said you aren’t feeling too well,” he said over cereal one morning, confirming my suspicions. It was the first time he’d broken our three-day spree of comfortable silence.

“What else did she tell you?”

He shrugged his shoulders, his usual buoyant self replaced with a quiet voice. He looked at me, and all I saw was pity. If I were him, I’d probably look at me the same way. I hadn’t showered in a while. “Well don’t let anything get you down. You’re too smart for that.”

He’d tried. He’d put in an effort. I just nodded, scooping up another spoonful of cereal. He followed suit.

And that was that.

A week passed like this.

But overnight, the clouds had blown away, and the sun came back full-force this morning just in time for the weekend, renewing my guilt. That traitor.

I’d cried all of Monday and Tuesday, but when the last tear was shed in the middle of a New Girl episode, I was empty. My tears didn’t leave anything to replace them with.

On Wednesday, a phone alarm reminded me I had a therapy appointment. I hit snooze multiple times. It was only when I got up to pee, and I hated what I saw in the mirror that I threw on an oversized sweater to go over my pajamas and headed out the door.

“Is it good?” I asked.

Her hands reviewed my wants list.

“That’s just a coffee stain on the corner..just...ignore that bit,” I added.

She surveyed it briefly, not really focusing on it. “Were you honest?”

I nodded.

“Then there isn’t good or bad. It’s just your truth.”

“But I still feel… I don’t know. I don’t think I know what that is. I don’t feel like I’m… progressing. Doing anything towards that,” I said.

She looked at me with a level gaze. “Then that’s your truth. And that’s okay for right now.”

I shot her a glance.

“I see a common struggle with people your age. They feel this….” -She adjusted, quirking her head- “immense pressure to be perfect, to figure it all out, to achieve success so early.”

“Everyone’s doing it,” I began. “They’re getting internships, keeping up their grades, involved in ten clubs, doing community service…” I could’ve droned on, but didn’t.

“You have an internship, your grades are good, you’ve joined a sorority, and up until recently you’ve been involved in tutoring. Those are extracurriculars.”

I couldn’t argue with her.

“Is it too much?” she asked.

Too much. It was everything I’d been feeling until I’d felt nothing. But hearing her list off what was waiting for me just beyond her doors made me feel the weight of it all over again.

“I’ve just been overwhelmed.”

“Who have you been thinking about?”

She noticed I started picking my hangnail.

She started gently, knowingly. “Has it been Harry?”

“Ow,” I cursed. A bit of blood prickled up where the hangnail used to be.

“He seems to be a major stressor in your life. Would you agree?” The clock ticked behind her, filling the silence. Her hands rested in her lap, while mine swiped away the bit of blood. I could never remember my therapist’s name, but somehow it wasn’t important.

“Yeah, but … I mean …. there’s a lot of stressors.”

“Like his friends?”

His friends, in the abbreviated story I’d told her, stood in place for the gang. I’d used terms like … intimidating, mean, basically painting them as bullies who didn’t like us together. I wasn’t expecting to get much therapy from a lie. “Out of curiosity, if I were to tell you something… would you be obligated to report it to the police?”

“Not necessarily.” Her legs crossed, creased brows zeroing in with a laser focus. “Has something happened to you, Y/N?”

I swallowed hard, the truth lodged in my throat. But I had gotten too used to the weight of the secret. “I was just curious…” My mind raced to change the subject, and I blurted about Zayn’s art show.

“Do you think this panic attack was induced by this heightened sense of scrutiny from Harry’s friends?”

“Probably.”

“You said there were others. What are your main stressors?’

I settled in, more comfortable with this question. “There’s financial stressors, for one. And it’s exasperated here.”

“You’ve been dealing with financial difficulties for a while, now. Have you been feeling this anxious the entire time, or has it been recent?”

My foot tapped impatiently. We both knew the answer.

“Your panic attack was a first,” she explained, gently. “Some new factor in your life pushed you there.”

I picked at the hangnail, wincing. It was gone. My skin was raw.

“Maybe it all links back to Harry.” She waited a moment to see if I’d speak. When I didn’t, she leant back, and pulled out a new sheet of paper, scribbling something down. “I want you to write a pros and cons list about your relationship with him, for next time. When your feelings are overwhelming, it helps to get everything on paper. In a list. Puts things in perspective.”

I drove home, her words had pushed themselves into my empty shell and now they clinked around, jostling up my insides like a pinball machine and giving me a headache.

Just because I hadn’t left the house all week didn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty for ditching work. God, I did. It killed me. I knew I was lucky to get that internship. Harry had mentioned how people killed just to get on the waitlist, and I didn’t doubt it. An OC internship with, if not the top, at least the most publicized private practice? I mean, I was typing in appointments next to a Southern Stanford grad if that speaks to the competition here.

And here I was, retreating back to my house, too drained to face the world.

As for Harry, after what I’d said to him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to talk to me ever again.

I’d been so cruel.

I was weak.

I felt guilty for feeling this way at all.

And then I would watch the dust again.

It was a cycle.

About three blocks from my house on my way back from the therapist session, a familiar car passed me. It happened suddenly, unexpectedly, like most things do. We made eye contact before he passed, and my foot instantly lifted off the gas when my eyes connected with my brain. I whipped my head around but the matte black maserati sped up, disappearing from sight.

What was Harry doing this far from campus?

My heart beat erratically as I pulled into the driveway, and it was only seconds before I made it into the house. Father held up a hand in Grandpa’s old room. Phone call. Trudging silently to my own, I wrapped myself in a blanket burrito.

I’d been avoiding my phone, but I caved this time, checking J’s social media to see if he’d posted anything about being in the area to prove I WASN’T crazy and DIDN’T just hallucinate. Nothing. I tossed my phone on the other side of the room before I spiralled.

It didn’t matter. I was in my room. Alone. Safe. I focused on the dust.

Two little knocks disrupted my exciting mind game - which dust particle would fall further than the other.

“You’re turning ripe,” Father noted. His briefcase was still in his hand and he was coming startlingly close to my depression burrito.

“What are you doing-!?” I protested. But it was too late. He ripped the sheets off, exposing me in the t-shirt I’d been in since Monday. “Your mood won’t change if you don’t make an effort.

Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’re coming to the water with me.” He hesitated at the door. “Shower first.”

In the car, a sense of comfort washed over me. He’d been right. Clean wet hair smelled nice and felt good slicked around my head. Even if Mom would complain I’d “catch cold,” it felt good to feel something. Dad’s speakers switched between classic rock and reggaeton as I sipped on the chocolate shake we picked up from the Shake Shack. It was a short drive away to the harbor, and once parked, a shorter walk to the public docks.

Our feet dangled above the water. It was too cold to go swimming this time of year, but my body buzzed with yearning despite the goosebumps on my skin. I wanted to feel encompassed by salty water. I wanted to be submerged, where everything was muted, a barrier between me and the world. Between my wet hair and the icy shake, I could pretend my body was as cool as the water below me. I could just…. dissolve.

“So what’s going on?” he opened up the conversation. “You having a hard time at school?”

“I don’t like the sorority.”

His brows raised, not expecting me to be so honest so soon. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, don’t you hate that shit?”

I looked at him, almost shocked he’d agreed with me.

The boats squeaked as they rocked with the rolling tides coming in from the ocean. I watched as a duffy boat wandered to the end of the jetty - where the harbor opened to the ocean. I took another big gulp of my shake, feeling the cold run down, freezing my esophagus.

“I liked frats, but sororities are different,” he mumbled, spooning his shake into his mouth. He’d gotten his usual Neapolitan, and it’d somehow stayed solid on the drive over. We hadn’t been to the Shake Shack in years, but I guess seeing his daughter waste away beneath her comforter was enough to break the dry spell.

“Why? Because its girls?” My lips were breaking into a smile without my consent. He didn’t make sense.

“They’re more catty.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Dad! That’s verging on sexist.”

“Eh, I don’t know. I’m just saying things. Did you tell Mom you want to quit?”

I shook my head.

“Yeah…” he looked out at the boats, a quiet understanding passing between us. “She was really excited for you to join.”

“It’s not all bad…”

“Well if it’s not making you happy, don’t do it. Your mom doesn’t want you doing anything you don’t want to do. I was in a frat to shoot the shit with friends and it was something fun to do instead of study. If it’s not something fun for you, drop it.”

I could hear the words he was telling me, but it was like they were rolling off my shoulders, not really penetrating. He made it sound so easy, but it seemed like it was a million times harder than that. Everything was entangled, just as Harry had said. Not to mention Renny. If I quit, I felt like I’d lose her forever, too. I knew I could use a better friend, but that couldn’t erase the years of memories we had together. Losing Renny would feel like losing a part of myself. Not that I knew who that was anymore.

“Dad?” I asked. The question that'd weighed on my mind ever since I got home rested on the tip of my tongue.

“Yeah?”

“This is going to sound weird, but did you see Harry today?”

“Yeah. He stopped by,” he said, casually, spooning another mouthful.

I practically choked. “What? Why?! Weren’t you going to tell me?”

“Y/N, I’m working. I have a thousand things bouncing around in my head all the time.”

“And?!!?”

Harry couldn’t reach out to me beforehand? He drove by but- what? Didn’t even want to see me?

He sighed, not understanding the urgency. “He just stopped by, said hi. That’s all.”

My brows stitched. “Why would he say hi to you? What’d he say, exactly?”

“Oh, come on, I don’t know. I can’t remember-”

“Dad!”

“All right, all right. Hi, how are you…” -his brain tried to remember- “he asked if you were doing okay. Then he left. He was nearby for a family brunch or something.”

“He asked about me?”

“Yeah. I mean, he didn’t go on and on, he just asked a question. He was in a rush.”

The shake froze me from the inside, and the breeze froze me from the out. But while I shriveled into myself, my guilt grew. “Dad?”

He hummed.

“Why are people so fake?”

He looked out at the harbor, peaceful for a winter’s morning. Only one small fishing boat headed towards the harbor’s edge, the sole fisherman at the helm facing the wind with the grace of a husband dealing with a temperamental spouse.

Father looked to our shoes as a random swell came, the water rising perilously close to our soles. Then, with all the untapped wisdom I seldom remembered parents had, “People are fake because they don’t know who they are,” he said.

He got a call from the restaurant and drove us home.

In bed the next day, I ignored the pros/cons assignment, watching New Girl and making collages of Oxford in a word document until my eyes were burning from blue light exposure. I knew I was pushing it staying this long away from school, away from my problems. I was pushing myself, seeing how far my apathy could go. I woke up Thursday night at 2 AM from the rain pouring against my shutter and anger pricking my insides.

Harry was the reason I was in this position. As well as Viv, who fucked Harry. And Kiki, who gave me a DG Pretty Please, that just so happened to involve Harry.

I wanted him, but I wanted him to fuck off. Nothing was changing. Nothing was getting better.

It was all Harry, Harry, Harry, and no matter what, I ended up feeling insane.

At one point, I was going to have to choose myself.

I rolled over, blindly reaching for a pen, and scribbled in the dark.

If my therapist wanted a list, she’d get one helluva list.

-----------

“I’m glad you’re going, honey.” Mom released me from the lung-crushing hug.

I’d created enough Oxford collages and daydreamed about a new life until I couldn’t think of any other imaginary scenarios (or postpone collegiate life any longer).

The Friday sun had set. The game had already started. I thought about the crowd, all the people I’d see…

“Can I just stay the weekend?”

“Oh.” Her arms dropped from my sides. “Didn’t you promise your friends that you’d go?”

Renny. I’d promised Renny. Singular friend. My hand was in a fist, thumb rubbing anxiously over my fingers. I didn’t listen to her voicemails, there were seven of them. But she’d texted me fifty times in the past twenty minutes, declaring that she’d Venmo me gas money if I’d come to the game.

I’d been in my hole long enough.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Well, you COULD stay-”

I broke away, shaking my head. If I let her coddle me another minute, I think I’d crumble all over again.

“I love you,” she reminded me. “You’re my precious angel.”

From the living room, the muffled applause from the game show Father had fallen asleep to faded further as I left.

Momma’s robe-bundled frame waved on the driveway, her sad smile burning in my mind long after she disappeared from view.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Come on, come on, come ON.

The path to the stadium took forever. No shame, I was full-on running, braless, fresh pit-stains on display as I booked it to the gate.

It was completely dark now, and the usual fleet of cop cars seemed to have all but disappeared the week I’d been gone. Only one passed me by, and the rest of the student body probably all congregated around the stadium.

When I saw the art studio, I slowed. It was completely dark, except for one entry light. The paintings would still be displayed... My pounding heart told me to keep running, and I hesitated, listening to it for a moment before walking to the door. I tugged on its metal handles, parts of me seizing up as it opened, giving way to my touch.

I crept into the space, feeling like an intruder as I walked through the exhibit.

For some reason, I expected it to look differently, to see it blurred together as I’d seen it before in a panic.

I was still hanging amidst the vines, but this time the paintings looked less threatening. Maybe it was the fact that I was alone, maybe it was because I’d already felt the worst of it.

Each piece was sold.

I looked over my shoulder a couple times before letting out a small shout. A tester.

It echoed in the space.

I did it again, louder, at my full about-to-be-murdered capacity.

I must’ve looked absolutely mental, but as I heard my shout reverberate around me, at least I felt something.

Five charcoal sketches in particular ran horizontally together.

Lust / Longing / Love / Lost / Loss

Had he seen all of this in me? He’d certainly seen other bits I hadn’t shown him.

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out. Renny. Without thought, I started her stream of voicemails.

Y/N where the FUCK are you!? Zayn’s concerned and I’m concerned and you’re not in the room-

Next.

Are you really sick? Or is this just some BS excuse. Or is this real and Harry gave you tonsilitis or something. I want to hear your voice. Ilyyyyy.

Next.

It’s meeeeee. Niall’s busy and you’re sick and I don’t know what to dooooo. Housewives isn’t as fun without-

Next.

BABE WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME CALLS DO YOU HATE ME, AND YES I MEANT TO SAY ME INSTEAD OF MY I HOPE YOU’RE LAUGHING-

Next.

DUDE. You will not believe what just happened- Harry just stopped by.

My thumb paused, letting it stay.

I was avoiding his texts because I think he’s a dick. Well, he IS a dick, even if Niall said he was going through a lot. It’s still not an excuse. But Harry LEGIT found me on campus, like not even when I was with Niall at the house, but at our APARTMENT...I-hold on. Ew, pastrami professor just passed me. What are the odds? OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY, I almost punched him when I opened the door because remember last time he basically told me off. But… I don’t know. It was different this time. He seemed… so concerned. Frazzled. I don’t even know the word to describe it. Ugh, if you were here you would be able to TELL ME what the word is. I miss you. Come back.

The voicemail rolled into the next.

I’m just pretending to talk on the phone right now because the boy I hooked up with last year is staring me THE FUCK down right now-

A creak in the pipes startled me, and the voicemail was all but forgotten.

My heart beat fast.

It was very, very quiet.

With one noise in the dark, the art pieces turned menacing. An oil painting in the corner of the room morphed into the Styles’ portrait. It wasn’t here. It couldn’t be here. I squinted, blinking through the dark. The portrait I thought I’d seen was just a painting of two silhouetted men facing each other. My heart still beat like I’d just ran a marathon though. I wasn’t about to be a part of the next horror movie “art comes alive.”

I booked it out faster than I came, answering Renny’s call on the way.

---------

“Thank fucking finally,” Renny huffed, leaning over Lynn to draw me in a hug.

“You didn’t miss much,” Lynn said, looking past me towards the game. I sat on Renny’s other side so she was in the middle, but when I looked at the scoreboard - Home, zero. Guest, two - I knew it was a done deal. Some people had already left, but half the stadium was still here, either hoping for a miraculous recovery or refusing to put their tails between their legs for pride’s sake. I noticed a group of parents in Chapman gear huddled together, waving their flags. No Mary or Lionel Styles in sight.

“How’s he been?” I asked. It’s like my head already knew where to turn, because as soon as I looked to the field, I found him. On the bench, elbows on his knees, head bent over.

“How’ve YOU been?” Renny asked. “I was seriously about to drive over to your house and check on you.”

Someone beat you to it. The thought was sour. For as much as Renny could claim her undying love for me, I was struggling to see the actions to support it. Everyone was disappointing.

“He’s been playing like shit,” Lynn answered.

“Brought back some...” His sentence died. Of all people, Zayn stood there, stopped, popcorn in hand. “Hey, Y/N.”

Felix stood behind Zayn, giving me a small wave. Zayn was clearly waiting for me to make the first move, but I turned away to the field. I didn’t know what to say.

From my peripheral, I saw them sit down by Lynn.

As soon as he did, it hit me like a flashfood. I knew what I was feeling. Anger. Discomfort. Shame. That he could expose me so easily, that he’d looked through my clothes in a way I never permitted. That he could sit down so comfortably without apologizing, as if nothing had happened.

Renny leaned in. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

She flinched at the abrupt answer. “Do you want to leave?”

I stopped myself from saying yes. I didn’t want to have to climb over Zayn to get out of here. That would be more than uncomfortable.

“No, I’ll tell you later.”

I didn’t speak the rest of the game, pretending not to hear him cheer or laugh or make a snide remark to Felix every other second. Like the annoying click of a fan when you’re trying to fall asleep, Zayn’s every move made anger shake my bones. Lynn gave me sympathy looks every once in a while. It wasn’t like me to be this quiet, and even with our friendship being as new as it was, she knew that much.

The crowd didn’t roar this time. They were silent as the clock hit zero, staring blatantly at its twin beneath Home. The Guest team’s few Minnesota supporters jumped like little beans on the other side of the field, but their cries were faint.

We’d lost.

Everyone stood, and Renny linked her arm with mine. A familiar habit. “We’re going to Viv’s for some post-game depression drinks now.”

But I stopped her.

“I think I want to go back to the room,” I winced.

“Come on, PLEASE? It’ll be fun, you were barely here for the game.”

“I don’t know, depression and Viv in the same sentence… You really know how to sell a party.”

“Aren’t you coming, Y/N?” Lynn made moves to follow the rest of the crowd that was funneling out of the stands.

I shook my head at the same time Renny nodded hers.

She huffed. “Why not? It’s going to be chill. We lost. It’s not going to be like the usual ragers.” She popped her hip, completely deadpanned. “You haven’t seen another college-aged person in a week.”

“Yeah and there’s a reason for that.”

Concern washed over her, voice lowering. “Tell me.”

As if on cue, Zayn and Felix stopped their descent down the bleachers and looked up at the girls, waiting for them to join. It was all I could do to not scream at them.

“Later,” I said. “You’re leaving now.”

“I don’t have to leave right now, it’s not starting yet...” Renny began, but Lynn gave her a look that said yes, they were leaving now.

“She wants us to help set-up,” Lynn explained.

“But it’s a small thing, right?” I teased Renny.

My bestie rolled her eyes, lips pinching. “Are you SURE?”

I nodded, sitting down on the cool metal bleacher again. Renny took a step towards me, a sad look on her face, but I held up my hand.

“I’m fine,” I said, when I felt anything but. “I just want to wait until the crowd leaves.” I picked up the popcorn bag she’d left behind and threw a handful in my mouth with a cheesy, hopefully convincing grin.

She grimaced, briefly looking back to Lynn who was anxiously waiting. “Fine. But we’re still talking about this later. I friggin miss you.”

She left with the others, funneling out towards a party she’d probably stay at until the early morning.

I didn’t want to go back to the room. I didn’t want to go anywhere.

The lights were so bright on soccer fields. Bugs flew in and around, racing each other faster than the dust in my room. It wasn’t until the janitors walked past me that I realized I’d been sitting there for too long. I reached in the popcorn bag, but my hand came up empty. They’d gone overboard on the salty butter, but somehow, I’d still managed to eat all of it.

Even with everyone off the field though, I didn’t feel alone. An older Hispanic woman taking out the trash saw me walking down and opened up the bag.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling.

She just smiled in return, nodding her head as she continued down the aisle.

Leaving the field’s gates, I was prepping for another mini run-for-my-life-and-back-to-the-dorm anxiety episode, when I heard someone shuffling. There were faint groaning noises, and I sped up my pace.

For a flash second, I thought someone was winning the “sleep in the locker room” bet, but when I tossed my head-back mid-run, I stopped so quickly, I almost tripped.

“Harry?”

There, in the dark, barely concealed by the shadows, he stumbled out. His abdomen looked… glossy? But then the light reflected crimson.

I ran to him as he fell, his white jersey stained with blood. “Oh my God, oh my God…” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. “What happened?! Are you okay!?”

He pushed me back. “M’fine.” But his voice was strained. He stumbled again, and I reached out before he fell.

I thought the blood from his shirt had fallen from a bloody nose, but his hand moved to my arm in a vice-like grip, revealing a gash in his jersey, I saw more liquid pool out from his gut and I almost gagged.

“You are BEYOND fine. You aren’t fucking fine!!”

“We have to leave. Have to… get out of here.” He grimaced. His face, his beautifully chiselled face was swollen on one side, his lip cut from impact.

“Okay. OKAY. I need to call the cops. The cops. I’m going to call them.” Shaky hands took out the cellphone, but he threw it down. “HARRY!”

“Take me to the physical therapy room?”

I looked at his chest. “You’re bleeding. A LOT.” My free arm reached for the tossed phone, but he tugged me back.

“No. They’ll write a report. I can’t have a-” he winced, sucking in a breath, and I reached for the phone again. “DON’T. Fucking hell. Don’t call anyone.”

My eyes racked his frame again, and I immediately applied pressure to his ab area, right where the gash was. He sucked in a breath, unleashing a string of curses I couldn’t hear right now. “Oh my God,” I breathed.

“Answer me,” he growled.

My mind scrambled for his question… he wanted me to take him to the physical therapy room. “YES! Yes. I have the- fuck, yes, I know where the keys are.” I looked at him again. What the FUCK.

“Stop freaking out,” he grunted, but he weakened the next second, his eyes fluttering before coming back to me.

“Okay, hold on. Hold onto me. Keep applying pressure.”

The physical therapy room wasn’t too far, bits of blood that’d fallen to his shoes marking our path.

“Why aren’t all the cops here?”

“They’re on rotation. The parties... they’llbestationedthere-JESUS.” We paused, letting him catch his breath. But it was shallow. Too shallow.

“Can you wait here for a second?” I asked.

He nodded, resting against a lamp post.

I hurried to the lockbox located behind the planter, punching in the code and unlocking it at lightning’s speed.

I didn’t know if there were cameras. I didn’t know if this was illegal.

I didn’t care.

We made it through the doors, and he was just about to sit on the table when-

“WAIT!” I ran to grab several rags and laid it beneath him before heaving him up. The soft cry he made when sitting down was like a knife through my own chest.

I grabbed scissors, cutting his t-shirt. I didn’t have time to linger, I didn’t have time to notice the way his tattoos were completely concealed by a red current. There were two wounds. One, deeper, the other, more shallow. Both in the lower left abdomen, just above a prominent v-line.

I wiped around the area, pausing above the gashes. “This is going to sting,” I warned.

There wasn’t fear in his eyes. He watched me, and I, him, as I pressed it against the open skin. He trembled, wincing, mouth opening in silent exclamation.

“You’re doing good,” I whispered.

“So are you,” he gritted out.

I swallowed, reaching for the butterfly bandages. But as soon as I did, more blood rushed out. I held a rag to him. “Save your breath. You need it.”

The thin white bandages seemed too little in the wake of his wound, and just as one bandage was placed, he cringed away, regretting his decision to move almost immediately.

“Fucking hurts,” he groaned.

“Stop moving! I need to close the wound up. You’re bleeding too much.”

“Y/N, just take me home. Call Lionel,” he panted.

“I’m calling 911 if you don’t let me at least attempt to close this wound because if we leave now you’ll bleed out.”

“You’ve done enough, please-”

“STOP. TALKING. I’ll call him after.” He saw a flame behind my eyes, and quieted, too weak to protest much more anyway. I came closer, and this time he didn’t flinch. The butterfly bandages at least minimally shrunk the open gouges.

With no other choice, I left him there alone, running across campus to my car and driving back in less than five minutes. It was illegal to drive through student walkways, let alone drive 60 mph, but there wasn’t a choice. I kept picturing Harry passing out, his limp God-like body, turned mortal, weak, bleeding out all over the training room floor. My foot hit the gas pedal harder. I could’ve been a damn marathon winner/race car driver. Let the cops add “speeding” to the file they already had on me.

Once we were both in the car, I looked over at him every two seconds. An entire roll of tight gauze around his abdomen kept the wound from bleeding out, but it was still turning pink. It was the second time blood would have been on my car.

Of all the revenge daydreams I’d had, I would’ve settled for Harry seeing me make out with Andre on the dancefloor over THIS. Would he die in my car? Would I be responsible?? I looked at the cheesy Angel pin my mom had given me for my car mirror. Never Fly Faster Than Your Guardian Angel Can Fly. Where was my angel now??

“Where are we going?” He asked, between fading in and out.

“To your house.”

His hand grabbed mine on the wheel and I practically swerved into the center divider from shock.

“HARRY!”

“We need to go to my house,” he said suddenly, panicked, as if I’d told him the opposite.

I placed our interlocked hands above the console. A safe distance away from the wheel in case he lurched again.

“Don’t worry, we’re going there. We’re going to your house. You’re just in shock, it’s okay,” I cooed, but it was desperate. And it was definitely not okay.

“They’ll ask… less..less questions...”

His grip was unbearably tight for three long seconds before it relaxed.

“Stay with me. Stay awake,” I urged. Harry’s lids kept drooping and I was desperate, blasting the Air Conditioning to an uncomfortable temperature.

Lionel picked up on the second ring.

“It’s Y/N. I think Harry’s been stabbed-”

“What?!”

“- I told him we should call the cops, but he was adamant we call you instead.”

“Seal the wound with whatever you can-”

“I did that. Not well, we didn’t have wound sealant- Okay, I’m rambling. I don’t know what to do, but he needs to see a doctor. Immediately.”

There was a long pause.

“Hello?” my voice wavered.

“Bring him to the practice.” The voice over the other line was that of a doctor, matter-of-fact, somber.

Hoag Hospital passed me, a nagging thought telling me that’s where we should be going - where there was paperwork, evidence, some legitimate accountability. But I wasn’t his father. I wasn’t responsible.

“On my way. I’m getting off the freeway now.”

The call ended, and as I looked at Harry, fading dangerously out of consciousness, my hands trembled more from fear than cold. Out of all the reactions, I hadn’t expected this one. The voice on the other line hadn’t seemed surprised at all.

come talk to me about the chappie or just about how you’re doing! now’s the time to stay connected :)

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confusion-core · 3 years

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Hey so I've been thinking a lot recently about how a lot of the things my old school did were really shitty and in some cases bordering on traumatising and I just never really noticed because they did it to me literally all of the time, and I suddenly remembered something that I've been keeping locked away in a mental safe for a long time, which is that when I was really young, like 6 maybe 7, I was put in the special ed class for a while just because my teachers didn't know how to deal with my autism. Special ed in the primary school I went to was terrible, we barely learned anything because they didn't teach us anything, and the staff there weren't any better at dealing with neurodivergent students than the regular teachers were. I hated it there, and after a short while I was allowed to take normal classes again, and just the thought of being put in special ed again made me depressed. I always worked hard to keep my grades up as well as I could so that my teachers never had a reason to say that I should go to special ed. I guess my first secondary school kinda figured that out, because for the first few years of secondary school every time I stepped out of line, or got in a fight, or even if the school just wanted me to join more clubs, they'd say some bullshit along the lines of "if you can't prove that you can fit in with everybody else in the school, then you're going to have to join special ed instead," which was still my literal nightmare because I knew that kids who were in special ed didn't get taught shit, and even smart kids who were in special ed never got to prove their intelligence because they weren't taught anything, so the school would say "well they clearly won't be able to keep up with classes with the knowledge they have now" which is the school's fault. Overall, all that I wanted at first was to get good grades and graduate and get a good job so I could prove my parents wrong, and prove that my options aren't limited to IT just because I have autism and above average intelligence. After a year or so, my parents caught on and started using it as a threat as well, and at the time I thought the reason they never did was because I'd made it clear that if they did they were dead to me, but I think looking back on it that actually, they knew that if they did send me to special ed or a special school or whatever else, I'd get nowhere in life. They knew the implications, and they knew that I knew them too, so they must've known that telling me they were going to was literal fucking torture.

After a few years though, I finally called their bluff and basically told my parents and the faculty, in short, "send me to a different school or a different program all you like. I know it'll at least be better than this shithole, because at least I can't get any lower from there, and I can finally stop being blackmailed into shit by authority. At this point, I don't care anymore."

And, I was right. I did completely stop caring. About my grades, my social life, what my parents were going to say or do, everything. I stopped trying to fit into their black and white view of how I should be, I started working on the things that I wanted to work on, and I stopped hanging out with my crappy friends who bullied people, and I just made friends with people that I liked. Those people turned out to be the people that my former friends bullied. I apologised to those people, we ended up being great friends, and I honestly didn't even care that I had less friends and I couldn't get along with everybody immediately. I didn't care that I started getting shit grades in things like Math, Science and IT, and I didn't care that I started getting shouted at by my parents a whole lot more, because all of that was something that I chose, and I chose well because the other option was staying repressed and under my school's thumb until I left. I know that a lot of neurodivergent kids will have the same problem, and they won't have the same option as I had, and for that I mourn the loss of their soul and their spirit, so I don't really have a moral or advice to go with this little trip down memory lane those time. Instead, I just wanna put out there, for any autistic parents, I promise you unless your child's autism is severe enough (edit: reading back, I realised I said severe enough which is wrong because you shouldn't label anybody's autism as more or less severe, same principle as functioning labels. If anybody has a better term that I can use please let me know) that they actually can't function in a regular setting, or they ask, your child will not benefit from being put in special education. For any autistic kids that might be going through this, there are always helplines and such, and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this as I did, and that I can't help you, it breaks my heart and I just want you to know that every time I cry there's going to be a tear reserved just for you. Unfortunately, that's as much as I can do. I can't save you, your soul or your spirit from these situations but I want you to know that I'm always going to be saving a little part of what little soul or spirit I managed to keep for you, for when you finally get out.

I want to get this as far as possible because some people need to hear stories like this, so please reblog this, use as many tags as possible if it'll mean that the right people get to see this.

#autism #autistic #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergencies #ableism #ableism tw #cw ableism #i know I'm using a lot of tags but I really want to make sure that this reaches the people for whom it's intended.

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adventures-of-an-idiot · 3 years

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Hi. Welp, Raya and The Last Dragon recently came out on Disney + and I've got to say, I liked it. Since the trailers dropped, I've been wanting to see it, not only for the sweet-looking animation style (which made Raya look really hot btw) that I'm really into, but also because it just seemed so fresh. Watching the movie actually felt like a wave of freshness. Yes. It did. I think I'm just numb to the bullshit Disney has been putting out recently. Also **SPOILER WARNING** for anyone who hasn't watched the movie yet.

Raya

First of all, I really really enjoyed the character of Raya. I'm so glad they didn't go with the screaming WOMEN POWER move like they did with other female leads nowadays (ehem captain marvel ehem). Instead, they put a badass woman on screen with the coolest outfit busting out Spider-Man worthy moves all while wielding her sword. I mean, that's literally what women power is, showing that women can hold their own, not shoving the phrase down our throats. But I digress. I just love this character, who was so trusting, which cost her only family, and now is trying to fix her mistake with the glimmer of hope that everyone else had given up on, while trusting no one. She literally is suspicious of a little boy, thinking that he might have poisoned her food. Overall, I think her character works almost perfectly along with the storyline. I also HAVE to mention that there's one scene which I absolutely love, which is when everyone is just running away from the Druun while Raya is walking the opposite direction to finish off Namaari. I know it probably was done may times before, but I think that scene was just breathtaking.

Theme

So the theme of this movies is trust. And I think it worked really well with this story and the character of Raya. There's not much to talk about, except that I would have liked Raya to learn how to trust people along her journey instead of having Sisu just keep telling her to do so. There are also many instances where Raya is proved right, instead of wrong, which kinda makes the ending a tiny bit weird.

Side Characters

I liked the fact that each town is not necessarily evil, but more towards trying to achieve prosperity for their citizens. I was surprised when the chief of Fang wanted to capture Raya for the sole purpose to avoid social stigma against her people, and instead be recognized as heroes. That's not a bad motivation for a villain, and was certainly something new for the Disney animated movies. I was also concerned that Namaari was just going to just be a direct opposite for Raya to beat in the final battle. But guess what? Their rivalry was pretty well-done. Raya is perfectly justified for hating Namaari and especially during the last battle, since she killed Sisu. I found the rest of the side characters enjoyable enough. Captain Boun and Tong were pretty fun, I'm not sure about the baby though. I mean, I dont even know why she's there in the first place, and I personally could have done without her. Its not that I hate her or anything, but she doesn't exactly contribute to the plot.

Sisu

Ooooookay. A lot of people have been criticizing the shape and design of the dragon, but I for one, didn't have a problem with it. I don't think there's a specific way to draw dragons, it's not like anybody's seen any to tell what it really looks like. What I DID have a problem with was her overall character. I mean, first of all, I just didn't find her "quips" to be really funny. Such as the "one kid who didn't do much but ended up with the same grade". yeaaaah. There are many more, which I can't remember for the life of me, probably because it was bland, and I personally didn't find any of them funny. Also I found it really weird that whenever they found a gem, a certain dialogue would take place. It goes a little something like this :

Raya: OMG! You're glowing!

Sisu: Yeah! That's my brother's __________ 's magic!

And this dialogue is literally repeated every time they found a piece of the gem, which I found really weird. I think if they were to do that, maybe a little story about the brother in question would be in order.

Alternate Ending

If it were me, I think that, since the dragons didn't come back before, I don't see the reason for them to come back now. They should stay dead. Who knows? Maybe you can use that for a follow-up movie. I think it would have been better if Sisu and Raya had more bonding scenes, because throughout the movie, you don't really think them as good friends or anything. Sisu was honestly more of a burden then a friend. This would make the Sisu death scene more hard-hitting, and mean something to Raya. It would also drive home the theme, where Sisu dies trying to prove the importance of trust.

#raya and the last dragon #movies #disney+#disney movies #movie reviews

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lilallama · 3 years

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(Sorry if I spell something wrongly lol) Idk, This is my opinion? Gryffindor, Jungkook. Hufflepuff, Taehyung & Yoongi. Ravenclaw, Namjoon & Jin. Slytherin, Jimin & Hobi??? I literally just searched the meaning of each house and just picked one based on the personality shown. Also, If you don't think this matches them, Sorry ;-;

[Don't worry, sweetie ^^. You don't have to apologise! 💕🍑]

Hoseok is a lot more two faced than I actually tend to show. The way he presents himself is mostly a mask. While he seems mostly calm on the outside, he's actually quite the opposite on the inside. Out of all the boys it'd be easiest for him to manipulate/influence Y/n (@bangtans-apollo Tae is quacking-) and he's aware of that. That's one of the reasons why they started the club 1. To protect Y/n, 2. The club concept came because it'd be easier to meet up and they would automatically get a clubroom and 3. Hoseok threatened to tell on them if they don't join, he'd make Y/n despise each one of them.

He is a strong leader (one of the Slytherin traits), I try to make him resourceful (but I am not myself so that might not shine through too much), he is definitely cunning. The whole ordeal with wanting to be with Y/n no matter what is pretty ambitious, I'd say. And lastly the traditionalism trait, he is very into tradition and has to keep his domestic fantasies with Y/n a secret. His parents raised him very traditional, he would hate it if (female) Y/n would ask him out first or would propose first and would at first frown upon his attention to (male or non binary) Y/n.

All in all Slytherin seems very accurate.

Now concerning Jimin; similar to Hoseok he too can be a two faced snake. He doesn't hide his true thoughts from Y/n or the boys, if anything he overshares sometimes (one time he started talking to Taehyung about some... rather inappropriate things concerning Y/n. That got his Y/n privilege taken away for a whole month). And despite practically pleading to be the "dumb bimbo" stereotype, he is surprisingly clever and intelligent. Before Highschool, before he made his first experiences with popular boys, he was a straight A's and B's student. Yet once he had his first boyfriend, he discovered that the people surrounding him typically preferred the dumb blondes. (He actually broke up with the captain of the football team for Y/n.)

He also sometimes displays ambitious, just in a whiney sort of way. Self preservation is definitely something. Unlike Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon or Jeongguk, he wouldn't let himself be killed for Y/n's sake. If Y/n were to be killed he would end up deluding himself into thinking a person who looks similar to them is them and would force Y/n's personality and style on them. Cunningness is 100% accurate. He's fake. He pretends to be a silly sweetheart who loves everyone but will spread rumours about you, blame things on you etc. and everyone believes him. His cunningness concerning Y/n is more whiney than anything.

So I do think Jimin fits Slytherin.

Namjoon was raised by strict parents who forbade him a tremendous amount of things and painted his world for him. It was engraved in his head, he was going to be the CEO of their company one day. Yet despite everything he still had a head of his own. Maye it was because if his high IQ that he understood that his parents weren't the only opinion in his life. Don't get me wrong, they still left him scarred (sadly literally, as his father once hit him bloody) and traumatised but not without a mind of his own. Ever since he was small creativity and originality was something he admired and loved. It was partly reason of why he fell for Y/n, their individuality, their mind, their heart, their soul.

We will not need to discuss intelligence, it's a trait he undoubtedly has. He is always willing to learn and showed interest in many different things before Y/n captured his focus. He is most likely one of the wisest members as he is aware of how twisted his love for them truly is (once again something I tend to fail at portraying) and tried to stop it when it started. But somehow that only made everything worse and by now he doesn't care anymore at all. When he was a child he used to be more openly curious than nowadays (as it caused him many punishments from his parents).

I feel that Namjoon would fit Ravenclaw.

Seokjin was spoiled all his life. His parents adored him, other kids adored him, everyone adored him. While he might've acted oblivious he knew that it's because of his money. Similar to Jimin, Seokjin changed when he entered high school. While he always was a pretty intelligent and well behaved student (still very arrogant though) he then became less concerned with studies and once made a teacher cry (that was before he met Y/n). He loves standing out as an individual, that includes making anyone change who crosses his path with the same outfit (not in school as they wear a school uniform. But outside, yes, he has that much power. Everyone knows Kim Seokjin).

As said before, Seokjin is far from stupid. He is a very intelligent individual but doesn't show the extent of his nolage. Instead aiming for a cool "Queen B" persona. He is witty with his comebacks (something I cannot write because I do not possess that superpower), he's quick with his words. He holds respect for people who are 60+ years old as he believes they've been through a lot in life already. These people have wisdom he could only gain by experience and that he respects (there is one very sweet lady that lives alone in a very big mansion a few streets away from his penthouse. He always visits her because he loves her genuine kindness. When he met Y/n she recently passed away and he saw a part of her in them).

Seokjin could qualify for a Ravenclaw.

Taehyung was raised by a very Christian family that he still cherishes very much. Because of their intense belief he was raised to worship. He never fell in love, so when Y/n crossed paths with his, he started showing love how he's used to it (Out of all the boys Taehyung is straight up insane. Something in his brain might be wired wrong, there is no explanation on why he likes them, on why he believed that's what love is because his parents treated him with normal, familiar love. So he is simply sick, there is no "saving" him. He's better of in a mental hospital). But he was always a very kind boy. Giving instead of taking, never wanting anything in return. Out of everyone, Taehyung was the one who welcomed new students and made tons of friends. But he grew out of it as his focus turned to art. He aimed to make his parents proud so he didn't have time for friends.

His loyalty is unlike any other. You could torture him half dead and he'd still forgive you, stay loyal to you, serve you. He is Y/n's servant. He works hard on improving his artistic abilities and also to maintain fairly good grades. For Y/n any labour he'd have to be put through would seem like a blessing. Another trait for Hufflepuff would be fairness and he surely is fair. As one of the least jealous members of the club he really only cares if Y/n's okay with what's happening or could get hurt (he always kets the other members have more privileges than he has because he believes it'd be not only greedy but prideful to want Y/n to hinself. He avoids any sin when it comes to Y/n, envy, wrath, pride, sloth, nothing will ever come near his modern day Jesus).

Taehyung definitely is a Hufflepuff.

If the boy who works two parttime jobs, to pay for rent, bills and food, cleans the shabby apartment by himself because his alcoholic mother is busy messing it up again, yet still treats his mother with kindness, only to be treated like trash by seven more powerful and successful guys in his school who all like the same person he does and still manages to maintain the position as intern and honour roll student at a prestigious school for roch people, isn't in Hufflepuff then I don't know what. This poor soul is incredibly sensitive and kind. He isn't judgemental (as he himself is used to people judging him). All round very sweet.

I think it's very clear that he's very diligent and hard working. He holds great passion for music and enjoys writing poetry, a very sensitive soul. Yoongi isn't someone to complain about something being unfair (cough cough Jimin cough cough) or try and steal Y/n away from them. His day dreams consist of imagining Y/n liking him back, but he is certain that would never happen (according to you guys, it seems a lot of you would pick Yoongi if you'd get to decide). Not only is Yoongi kind but loyal as well, he'd never imagine leaving anyone behind even his useless mother.

Yoongi is 1000% a Hufflepuff.

Jeongguk tends to be hot tempered, he goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. Everything in life seems like a challenge to prove he's better than others think (his father was a notorious serial killer who killed twenty one people yet got away with a ten year prison sentence and got released after six, ten months later Jeongguk was born). In truth he did not care for anyone else, only Y/n. So all tge chivalry he could muster was directed at them.

He is one brave guy who doesn't get easily scared (I guess living with as well as being a serial killer at sixteen years old desensitised him). Jeongguk is courageous just not in/for a positive way/purpose. He deluted himself into thinking that Y/n needs protection, HIS protection. He once attacked a teacher because they were helping Y/n with a question, that's very daring (more like stupid) just not in a good way. A (still not) more positive example of his daringness is when he wants to impress Y/n. He hung from a skyscraper for five minutes doing pullups, just to inpress them. One time he also jumped across his luxurious pool at home (and almost slipped, almost bashing his head in) just to prove that he can jump further than someone they talked about.

I could very much picture him as a Griffendor.

If you enjoyed reading my work, please consider reblogging it. Thank you for reading

#yandere bts #cooking club #hogwarts au #yandere jimin #yandere taehyung #yandere jungkook #yandere namjoon #yandere hoseok #yandere seokjin #yandere yoongi #harry potter au

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dawnwave16 · 4 years

Text

Crash and Burn!

Marinette was over it. In the 3 months that had passed since HawkMoth's defeat. Lila's lies had grown from name dropping lies to ones that would destroy reputations in seconds if they ever came out. Adrien had seen the light when she had lied about his mother but the rest of the class still fell for everything that tumbled out of her mouth.

Due to being Ladybug, Marinette was one of the few that knew HawkMoths identity and it had unfortunately soured her dream of becoming a fashion designer. Not that that had been a bad thing as far as Marinette was concerned. Going into fashion design full time was something that Mlle Bustier had pretty much pushed her into when Marinette had made the mistake of doodling in class. Marinette's original dream had been to be able to fly F-14 Tomcat's just like her birth father. Everybody thought that Tom Dupain was her birth father but that wasn't true. Her mother had met Tom when Marinette had been four and the two had hit it off immediately. Harm had been please for Sabine, even letting her change Marinette's surname in the school records to make things easier for Sabine on parent-teacher evenings. His only condition had been that Sabine let Marinette visit him every other Christmas and on some school holidays. It was because of these visits that Marinette had started to dream of following her father into the air as soon as she was old enough. On the visit, shortly before her eleventh birthday, she had been visiting him and he'd had to go to one of the aircraft carriers for work. She couldn't remember all the hoops that had had to be jumped through to allow her to go with him but she did remember how it had ended. It had been her first time on an F-14 after all. It was a night flight and her father had insisted that the easiest way to prove that the pilots were innocent was to fly with them. He was so sure that there was nothing to worry about that he had put her into the second seat in the cockpit of the second jet. He had told her how they were flown and how to land them and she was eager to see everything from the back seat. Nobody had counted on the fact that someone had tampered with the front piolets air hoses, adding a knock out gas to them on a time-release that had only been found after they had landed. Or more accurately, after she and her father had had to take control and land the jets. It had been as scary as it was thrilling for the ten-year-old and she had vowed that she wanted to do it again. But only when she was older. It was due to this dream that Marinette had put so much effort into all her studies. Everyone thought it was just so that nobody could criticise her grades when she made it big but it was so that when she eventually graduated she could enlist in the US airforce and study law as well as how to be a piolet so that she could be just like her father. When Mlle Bustier had pushed and pushed and pushed her into fashion Marinette had let it happen and even believed that it was the right thing to do. However, she hadn't stopped the way she studied and now that her real dream was back at the forefront of her mind, she was glad that she hadn't let her study habits drop. It was as Marinette was reminiscing about all of this that Lila had started a new story. One about what it was like on an aircraft carrier, which Lila had only been on because she had been kidnapped and the captain of the carrier had saved her. She was so into her story and Marinette was so lost in her daydream that neither girl noticed the very handsome man dressed in Navy Dress Uniform standing in the doorway with a woman standing in a US Marine Dress uniform. It was only when he spoke that Marinette snapped back to the present. “There is no Navy in the world that would let a civilian walk around one of its aircraft carriers the way you are describing. It would be a serious breach of security and the captain could be court marshalled for letting it happen.” “Not to mention the only civilian to step on an aircraft carrier was a ten-year-old and her father had to jump through several bureaucratic hoops in order to let her go on board with him for the week that he was on board.” The woman added. Everyone in the class spun round to face the two of them, tensing up, except Marinette who had relaxed for the first time in ages. Her father and his wife were here and as today was the last day of school, that meant that she would be flying out to the US soon to take the first step towards her dream. Unfortunately, it seemed there would be drama from Lila first though. “Show how much you know. I'm the daughter of an Italian diplomat-” “Layla Nekane Rossi, age eighteen, born in Basque and daughter to the private secretary to the current Italian Diplomate. Father is a known con man and womaniser. You speak Italian and French although you have lived in three countries. Expelled from school in both Basque and Italy for bullying, both emotional and cyber, accused but never charged on three occasions of bullying to the point of suicide and one case of assault. Do I need to carry on?” Mac's voice was cold and hard as she spoke giving a condensed version of Lila's file. Mlle Bustier had blanched as Mac spoke and had had to sit down by the end of it. Lila was about to say something to defend herself but Harm spoke up first. “Unfortunately you finally chose the wrong person to bully. They might not have been making a fuss recently as they have finally realised that the ones she was trying to protect don't deserve it but that doesn't mean she didn't go looking for justice for your previous victims. To add to the charges from the other countries, you will be facing charges of terrorism along with one Chloé Bourgeois. As you are old enough to be tried in court as an adult, that is exactly what will be happening.” “What! That is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! Why am I getting charged with anything?” Chloé screeched. “You'll find out when you get to court. In the meantime, I suggest you both find a decent lawyer.” Mac said dryly. “Who are you two anyway?” Alya demanded even though she was still reeling from everything that had come out about Lila. “Lieutenant Colonel Sarah "Mac" MacKenzie, USMC and Captain Harmon ''Harm'' Rabb Jr Executive officer (XO), USS Allegiance.” The class spun round to face Marinette as she spoke. “Marinette, you know them?” Adrien asked his face a mask of confusion. “Why wouldn't I know my birth father and someone he is in an on-again-off-again relationship with? By the way, it's great to see you both again but I thought you were only meant to be coming to France in three weeks time?” Marinette's voice was just as dry as Mac's had been and the class realised that Marinette had spent a lot of time around them in order to have picked up that sort of habit. “Marinette why would they need to fetch you. You're 18, surely you are capable of travelling by yourself. Besides didn't you get invited to study at ESMOD? Or are you just travelling for a month before your new classes start?” Mlle Bustier's voice was calm but Marinette could hear the manipulative quality in it. She sighed and turned to face her old teacher. “One, I never applied to ESMOD, so I have no idea why you think they would have invited me to study there. I let you think that I wanted to be a fashion designer because that is what you were constantly telling me I should be. Yes, I like fashion but that's not what I want to do with my life, it never has been. Two, Yes I am capable of travelling by myself but why would I turn down the chance to spend time with my family. Hawkmoth and Dad's duty has kept him away for the last four years and I have missed him terribly! Skype and phone calls just aren't the same as being able to cuddle into him while watching movies. And three, if you truly want to know what I will be doing with the rest of my life I'll tell you. I plan to follow in Dad's footsteps in be a naval aviator for the US Marines and study to be a JAG. I want to fly for as long as I can though!” Harm smiled proudly as his daughter spoke then exchanged a look with Mac when their influence on her personality shone through. “Where's my hug, munchkin?” Harm said with a smirk. Marinette walked over to him and gave him a big hug her eyes squeezed closed as she soaked in her dad's reassuring presence. To Marinette, this was the best medicine she could ever have asked for. Not only was her dad here but he had exposed Lila or Layla as was her real name, in a way that couldn't be fought. He had provided hard evidence for every fact he had provided. Mlle Bustier, however, didn't seem to get the memo that Marinette was done with being manipulated by her. “Marinette are you sure about that? I mean don't you have commissions from several big-name celebrities that you get regularly?” Marinette forced herself not to growl at Mlle Bustier, not knowing that Adrien's father had walked up and was waiting at the door, listening to the answer too as Mr Agreste was still wanting to offer her an internship. “Designing was never my end-game career choice. If I wash out of basics or am injured in a way that the navy or JAG is not an option, then I will think about doing design full time. Those that have commissioned me for things know that it will never be my full-time job and that I want to serve like my dad does. They support that decision and encourage me to do my best!” Adrien walked over to her and gave her a hug, as she had stepped out of her father's arms as she spoke to Mlle Bustier. Like everyone else, he hadn't seen his father arrive but he decided to give one last parting shot to the class before he left too. “Only one person has ever asked me what I want to do with my life. When I said I didn't know she encouraged me to follow my heart. Unfortunately for almost everyone here, she has my heart. The conversation

took place three years ago so this is not a rash decision despite what most of you think. I'm leaving to follow Mari into the Navy. I have my green card etc and everything has already been legally approved, so you can't use that against me. Also, yes I do know that we probably won't be in the same unit but this is something I want to do for myself.” As soon as Adrien had finished talking the group of four walked away with the teens between the two adults, the four of them chatting away happily in English which left most of the class confused. Neither of the teens noticed Mr Agreste standing in the corridor, leaning against the wall clutching his heart as though in pain. They didn't notice the ambulance as it pulled up to fetch Mr Agreste, nor did they notice as police cars arrived to fetch Chloe and Layla. They didn't see the class trying to make sense of the mess that had been left behind them and to be honest, they didn't care. As far as Adrien and Marinette were concerned, they were free to live their lives. They had been friends for years and they became better ones when they had revealed their identities to each other after Miracle Queen. They were partners and they would face the future the way they had faced everything else: together.

@ash-amg-blog

#salt #lila salt #ms bustier salt #class salt #adrien sugar #au bio dad for marinette #marinette deserves better #badass marinette #non-designer marinette

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rue-king · 3 years

Text

Family Found, Family Taken

(AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32892439)

Masterlist, Next Part

Summary: Gavin is tired, so tired. He is tired of being the bad guy, but thats just who he is he's mean and unapproachable. He can't be replaced, he just can't, work is all he has left to tie him to this world. It is the only thing that proves he's not as terrible as he feels.

But when the fancy RK900 unit walks in, along with a terrible string of murders, Gavin is pushed backwards. He can't on this way anymore, but he doesn't think he is capable of change.

This is his last chance, he is Gavin's last chance.

Warnings: cursing

Chapter 1:

Gavin Reed is a mess. A walking tragedy. Rough on every edge and totally banged up. From the scar on his nose to the little marks on his knuckles.

If the scruffy appearance and constant 5 o’clock shadow doesn’t make it obvious then the darker than night eyebags and shitty attitude certainly does.

He looks rough, but he's not a bad guy, at least not internally. He's a man who feels too much and is easily hurt, but he would rather die than ask for help or express himself. The man has more baggage than an airport.

He’s bitter and cold, almost aloof in demeanor. A rabid dog with a muzzle on at all times, marked “dangerous don’t pet” only by fault of trusting too much.

A stray, left wondering all by his lonely self fulfilling prophecy of isolation.

A grade “A” mess.

He drags his sorry ass to the Detroit Police Station everyday and works himself to the bone because that's all he knows. It’s all he is able to do in order to tune out all the thoughts that he knows will drown him.

Not a team player in the slightest, but he's certainly one of the best detectives the DPD has seen in a long time. Stupidly efficient, his brain makes connections in ways that are unparalleled by his human peers. Too bad no one in the building likes him enough to let him know it.

Another consequence of his own actions, he is an asshole and he knows it. The only person he can call a friend is Tina Chen, but even then he feels as though she could do better. They all can. He is mean and cuts people off, unapproachable and snappy. Truthfully he’s surprised she's still around.

If it wasn’t for Fowler's firm hand he’d practically live in the building, it's not like he takes breaks anyway, but alas he has a shitty apartment with two demon babies to get back to anyway.

Bright and early on a Monday morning the man, the myth, the legend himself walks his groggy ass through the doors of the DPD. The caffeine withdrawal headache already encroaches on his brain and he sports a fresh set of bandages over his abused knuckles.

He keeps his head low and heads straight for the breakroom, aiming to get a cup of the worst coffee Detroit can offer. His reputation around the office has always been less than great, but ever since the android revolution his peers have been walking on eggshells around him.

He doesn’t blame them, it's not like he tried to hide his anti-android sentiment. He huffs quietly to himself, why would he care what those assholes think about him.

He prepares his shitty coffee and walks over to his shitty desk in the shitty bullpen. He’s dramatic like that. He doesn’t bother the anticipatory itch he feels deep in his chest that eggs him on to dive straight back into work. Like a craving, a workaholic.

Days are long and hard now that there has been mass losses in employment and crime skyrocketed. Reed just has to solve it all himself. Masochist.

He sits at his desk reviewing the last notes he took at the scene of his most recent case. Double homicide, suspected breaking and entering, but nothing was stolen.

He hears loud belly laughter come from the entrance of the bullpen, in comes Hank Anderson and his sidekick Conner.

Reed glances at the clock and snorts a bit.

Won’t you look at that, Hank Anderson is early for the first time in about a thousand years.

He shakes his head, and goes back to his notes. Normally he would throw out a rude remark or two, but he simply doesn’t have the energy today so he settles for an eye roll.

He is drop dead tired. Insomnia is a bitch and he hardly has an appetite anymore.

“Good morning Detective” Conner calls in a stupidly cheery tone.

“Fuck off” Gavin mutters back, his words lacking their usual bite. He just sounds defeated, deflated.

Conner hovers for a second longer in front of Gavin's desk. A second longer than usual, too long for Gavin’s liking. He moves his head up to call Conner out, but is met with nothing but air.

Whatever.

Gavin goes back to work, shuffling lightly under his desk. He is focused on nothing. Staring blankly at his own words in front of him, unable to comprehend what he is looking at. His mind is somewhere else, caught between nowhere and here.

He looks away quickly and puts his head in his hands.

Breathe in and out. Just focus, you idiot. Focus.

He rubs his eyes harder as the frustration moves like tides within his chest.

This is an improvement from Gavin Reed, if it were a few months ago he would've just slammed his hands on his desk and stalked off to go smoke. Not that anyone cares enough to know it of course.

He breathes in deep again and sets his mind to try one more time before he swears he’ll scream or something,

“Reed! My office now!” A deep yell calls out, breaking his second of peace. Fowler, of course.

He audibly groans. He hasn’t done anything wrong so why the hell would the captain want to see him.

“Ohhh, someones in trouble~” Tina Chen calls out, she’s barely walking into the area. She’s late, again Starbucks in her hand.

Not surprised.

“Bitch” he retorts, making his way toward Fowler's office. Tina laughs lightly and blows him a mocking kiss. Gavin just rolls his eyes.

Conner and Hank rise from their work stations to start after him.

Oh great, fan-fucking-tabulous. Reed huffs some more.

He opens Fowler's door with a hard swing, his patience slips away from him quickly.

The bad buddy cop flick duo follows behind him closely. Gavin elects to stay standing, way too anxious to sit and just accept whatever shit Fowler will be throwing at him.

Hank takes a seat, the other is already taken by Conner.

He does a double take, Conner is right next to him. Two Conners?

The not Conner turns a fraction.

“The fuck is this” Gavin questions and recieves a scathing look from Fowler.

Conner shuffles quietly next to him, the movement capturing his eye as it always does. Why does he look anxious, the fuck is wrong with him.

“Reed shut up and let me speak before you go butting in, '' Fowler dictates before continuing on, “this is RK900 and he will be assigned as your new partner.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t do partners, you know this Fowler. What makes you think I need one, much less that tin can.” Reed is quick to anger, well at least he has some energy now.

Has he not been efficient enough on his own? Fowler can’t just give him some pity babysitter to fix him up like Conner did with Hank.

“You do what I tell you to do, Reed. He is top of the line and you, annoyingly enough, have the best solve rates as of now. So he goes to you.” Fowler is strong with his statements and doesn’t leave room for arguing. Which doesn’t stop Gavin.

“What the fuck! That should mean that I don't need the help of that asshole! Dump him on someone else, it doesn’t make any sense!”

“Well you better make it make sense or else you can hand your badge over, Detective.” Gavin clenches his jaw, his eyes lit with anger.

“You don’t get any special privileges Reed, especially with your disciplinary file.”

Gavin huffs again shaking his head. “Well that doesn’t explain why these two are here” he gestures to Hank and Conner wildly with his hands. He treads more lightly with his words, he’s an idiot and a dick, but he will not lose his job over something as stupid as this.

“I asked them here in case you reacted poorly to this decision, much like you did” Fowler draws.

Yeah, yeah he's disappointed, when is he not.

“Yeah, quite the show you put on there, Reed” Hank mocks.

Go back to playing house, Hank.

Reed fumes, grinding his teeth. He could be so much meaner, but he holds back. All the energy that the anger gave him rapidly left his body and he’s left with tired resentment. A cold emptiness that leaves him chilly and lacking the will to continue fighting back.

“Are we done here?” He asks in a low tone, running a hand through his already messy hair.

“Well yes-”

It doesn’t matter what came after that, Reed saw the green light to leave.

“He‘s not well, Lieutenant”

“Conner it’s…”

He walks faster, escaping the muffled voices.

He sits back at his desk and grabs for his coffee. Empty already, great. He goes to make another cup, desperately wanting to get his mind off of the shitstorm that just happened.

Every other partner Reed has ever had did not last, they just couldn’t tolerate his shitty attitude. Essentially he ran them all off, like nannys to a terrible toddler.

This one will be no different, android or not, no one can put up with him for long. At least that's how Reed reassures himself.

Before he knows it he’s back at his desk, hot coffee in his hand and an absurdly tall knock off Conner in his way.

“The fuck out of the way, tin can” Gavin grumbles not even looking up to meet RK900’s eyes.

He doesn’t move.

“Did you not fucking hear me? Are you deaf, asshole?”

He moves a fraction, and Gavin takes it with a slight shoulder check to get to his seat.

Stupid not-Conner and his ugly fucking white jacket. Was gray not terrible enough?

Another small huff to himself. He’s been doing that more and more today.

He goes back to his notes. 5 minutes has passed and not-Conner continues to stand unmoving in front of Gavin’s desk.

He tries to ignore it, but he can’t stand seeing the stark white shadow in his peripheral vision. Looming like a cage starting to close in.

“Can you not just fuckin stand there like a freak?” Gavin snaps, finally looking the RK unit in the face.

Maybe he isn’t like Connor. RK is sharp and cold with defined cheekbones and pale blue eyes. Connor is warm in demeanor and soft where RK seems impenetrable and well… intimidating.

“I am assuming that that empty desk is mine to use?”

Even his voice is different, this one is firm and lower in pitch compared to Connor’s.

Reed lags behind a beat, taking in all the information he can from what's before him. RKs suit is clean and pressed, untouched by the qualms of living. He looks shiny and brand new, but the disdain in his eyes says otherwise.

His posture is stiff and the collar on his neck more so, making RK look down with his eyes and a miniature head tilt. It makes him look condescending, physically and metaphorically looking down on him.

Gavin curls his lip, dislike drags within him. “If it gets you to fuck off than yeah, knock yourself out, tincan.”

An hour or two, or three, passes. Gavin manages to transfer his written reports onto his terminal. Using the work to blissfully tune out the presence to his right. RK900 staring blankly at the terminal with a flashing yellow light circling at his temple.

Gavin has so many questions swirling around his head, but has too big of a pride to ask them. Asking would mean being civil and he is NOT going to do that. Instead he’s elected to just simply pretend that his brand new partner doesn’t exist at all. That's all he can manage with the lack of energy he has at the moment.

Besides, it's not like his fancy new plastic counterpart is aching to talk to him anyway. He just sits there with his perfect posture in perfect silence. For once Gavin is thankful for his ability to just fall into his work, because it provides the perfect distraction.

(stay tuned for the next chapter!)

#detriot become human #gavin reed #reed900 #upgraded connor #god i love angst #angst #slow burn #enemies to lovers #i love these idiots #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer

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