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lover-of-trash-and-people · 3 years

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bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)

my wine's like fruity I love her

light and darkness title card we love to see it

Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3

okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted

okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3

oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care

omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode

gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much

'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-

don't break my dumb little heart

I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up

oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth

'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-

I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it

her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'

when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down

Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3

I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline

damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold

'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme

Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise

the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection

haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you

'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED

'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods

the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well

is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is

okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me

'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide

'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE

Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej

'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show

him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't

could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm

'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper

not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO

'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG

YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY

Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't

INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER

that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show

and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience

throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you

I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow

I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness

Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids

god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them

they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie

STAG VISION TIME

despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene

'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power

okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much

alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own

'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers

the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full

one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it

hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)

I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question

I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk

goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does

Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk

also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?

'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK

maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment

Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment

HER POWER

a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look

okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?

INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST

okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe

Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly

okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run

oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface

it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)

AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it

Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3

'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait

god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina

kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling

fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me

I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned

maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least

I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got

inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession

'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions

NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)

helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you

Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY

omg hellgate

AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!

Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares

Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded

DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN

gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while

I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them

'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight

am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine

well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do

thank you to whoever actually read these things

I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy

my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse

it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones

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gayoperatorgunclub · 4 years

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For the ultimate ship meme, Lion and Doc? I'm sorry, I'm LionDoc trash-

it’s all good!! whenever someone sends in an ask, i get an excuse to talk/write about one of my interests! really, it makes me so happy to be able to create content that people hopefully enjoy!! 💝💝💝

General:

How long will they last? - until the end of time, babey

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it was love at first sight but then they started talking i do think it was some form of ~interest~ in one another at first sight, but then all that drama and lack of communication happened so they didn’t really allow themselves to even dream about the possibility of a relationship. HOWEVER! once lion joined rainbow and they talked their shit out like people who know how to cope, there was a period of a few months that is now referred to as The Four Months of Pining™, during which glaz did a lot of paintings where the subject (who usually bears an uncanny resemblance to doc or lion) is staring at something (or someone) longingly. he calls it his french period. when they finally get together, a LOT of money changes hands. and goes straight into sledge’s pocket (he was the only one who bet that it would take them this long). diana gets a brand new collar (handmade), bed (handmade), dish (handmade), and many new toys (some handmade, some store-bought. sledge’s craftsmanship can only get him so far)

How was their first kiss? - you know how the french are supposed to be super suave and confident??? and how gay people are trying their hardest but they’re just Not Good at things????? (i know these are stereotypes but stay with me). well, with their 5/8 french blood (i hc one of doc’s parents is fully algerian while the other is half french, half algerian), and their 4/4 gay blood, they have an 81.25% chance of success in matters of the heart. sadly, that 18.75% chance of failure came into play during this situation. picture it. doc and lion. romantic, home-cooked dinner. le festin is playing in the background. they’re holding hands over the table. suddenly, doc’s cat goes into labour. all hell breaks loose. lion is getting flashbacks to his son’s birth, so now he’s hyperventilating. doc carries him to the couch and turns on the fan so he can cool off and catch his breath, before carefully moving his cat, Rayie (arabic for gorgeous, pronounced rye-ah) to the living room in his handmade Birthing Box, then grabs a pile of blankets and a heat lamp and situates himself on the ground nearby so he can help her if she needs it. once the kittens are born (they’re twins!! Sadiqi is the boy, and Amirti is the girl!!!) doc makes sure they’re nice and warm and that Rayie is recovering, and gives her pets while she cleans her babies. once the happy family is all settled in for the night, doc walks over to the couch and just. lays down on top of lion. once he’s gotten over the adrenaline of the birth, he takes lion’s face in his hands and says “promise me you’ll be more calm if we ever decide to have kids” and gives him a BIG smooch while lion’s just short-circuiting like “does he know i have a son???? did i forget to mention my son?????? also what about these kittens??? are they not sufficiently childish to count as children????? DOES HE WANT KIDS????? does he want to marry me??????? wait why is he getting so clo-”

Wedding:

Who proposed? - lion. it was the day of their two year anniversary (yes i AM saying they got together the august after outbreak don’t @ me) and they were on vacation at doc’s family’s Secret Beach House. they were vibing on the balcony, watching the sunset, when lion suddenly clears his throat. doc turns to look at him and finds his boyfriend down on one knee, looking like he might flee to Bermuda. he’s reaching for something in his pocket. doc starts laughing. lion, completely misunderstanding his reaction, flushes and stammers out an apology. doc sees this, and immediately stops, though he’s still smiling gleefully as he catches lion by the biceps, then reaches into his own pocket and pulls the ring he was going to give olivier. they exchange rings, giggling like little kids, and spend the rest of the night making out on whatever surfaces are available.

Who is the best man/men? - for lion? montagne. (his son is the ring bearer and doc’s niece is the flower girl). for doc? rook. he’s so happy he gets to participate in his dad’s wedding

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - for lion: finka. for doc: twitch

Who did the most planning? - both of them!! do you know how hard they worked to ensure the ceremony was valid in the eyes of both of their religions

Who stressed the most? - s e e a b o v e

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - lion’s parents. they tried to call him during the reception but doc’s grandma grabbed his phone and started cussing them out, talking about dishonor and how they tried to disown him so they’re not his parents anymore, and besides, his new family absolutely adores him, so really, it’s their loss. once she hangs up, she pulls lion into a hug and he calls her his favorite, if only, grand-mère

Sex:

Who is on top? - who’s topping? lion. but sometimes doc gets bitchy so he gets to set the pace if you know what i mean

Who is the one to instigate things? - they are both lowkey horny 24/7 so 👀👀👀

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now (only because they do get to see each other fairly often. if one goes on a long mission without the other, once they get back they will bump it up to a 10 real quick)

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - idk long enough ig. maybe longer if someone feels they’ve been left ~unsatisfied~ they might go a few more rounds ;))

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - ok it depends on what they’re doing but usually it’s one or two each, but on ~special~ occasions it’s either doc getting edged and denied for hours, OR doc getting forced to come over and over again until he’s begging for something, whether it be more or a goddamn break even he isn’t really sure. either way he’s crying and lion is consistently asking if he needs to safeword and otherwise checking in because they may like it rough but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - unless someone’s hormones and organs get fucked, zero

How many children will they adopt? - probably none?? idk they’ve already got lion’s son and they’re both busy enough with work so

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - NEITHER!!!!! DISGUSTANG!!!!!!!!!

Who is the stricter parent? - god i wanna say both. like lion and his attachment to rules??? but doc and his Mom Friend energy????? but ig lion BUT HE’S NOT STRICT TO THE POINT HE’S A BUZZKILL OR ANYTHING HE’S JUST RESPONSIBLE (he will NOT allow his husband and son to go vandalize the property of some islamaphobic brits, as much as he agrees with the sentiment)

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - doc will only allow vandalism if it’s in the name of righteousness. meaning, he’ll allow their son to spray paint the walls of a goddamn walmart with shit like “eat the rich” and a portrait of robespierre and a guillotine, but it is a HARD NO on defacing places like the library or community center (unless he has a good reason to do so). lion spends his time praying and making sure his son knows which acts of civil disobedience are acceptable and which are distorting their goal

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - doc. he (privately) dreams of retiring (eventually) and living out his lifelong dreams of being a househusband. so

Who is the more loved parent? - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS. but ig lion??? BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEIR SON HAS KNOWN HIM LONGER. doc is half Dad and half Cool Uncle Who Gives Me Spray Paint And Tells Me To Make Myself Heard (to clarify, i know doc is a pacifist, but im kinda projecting my own sentiment of “we’ve tried to be peaceful but you wouldn’t give us the time of day. now that we’ve “acted out” we’ve gotten your attention, and rest assured, things are going to change.” he won’t hurt anybody, he’s just tired of having to be everyone’s “muslim friend” and educating people on things they could google themselves)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - it used to be lion out of necessity, but when people started asking about his “wife” he was really torn between telling them that he and his son’s mother separated, but now he has a partner and his son seems very happy about it. when doc finally attends a meeting with lion, people really struggle to hide their shock. a few clunky but well-meaning “we support you”’s and “we’re sorry for everything that’s been going on”’s later, doc has used his charm to make friends with literally everyone. from then on, he is on pta duty on behalf of lion and his ex

Who cried the most at graduation? - lion! his parents purposefully didn’t show at his, so it’s a big deal for him to show his son just how proud he is. doc tears up a little too, but manages to mostly keep it together so he can support lion, who spends most of the day heave-crying about how proud he is into his husband’s shoulder. gustave just pats him on the back and tells him that they’ll run out of donuts if they don’t get to the concession stand soon

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - doc. civil disobedience, baby!! he has never been caught. lion fears the law after his youth, so he tries to avoid any visits to law enforcement. he also can’t stand to see his son behind bars

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - doc. househusband, remember?

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - doc, but only because he can be a bit of a spice supremacist. he has to get his ingredients from these very specific farms and markets or else his great grandmother will begin manifesting in their house to curse them

Who does the grocery shopping? - doc, bc he does NOT trust lion to not just sweep all of the microwave ramen and kraft mac n cheese into the cart then sprint to self-checkout

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever possible. doc and maestro live by the philosophy “don’t do anything halfway” if they’re going to go through the trouble of making a meal, it will have multiple courses.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - doc is more of a salad eater but only for ease of consumption with halal laws. he adores filet mignon

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - lion! maestro enlists himself as assistant head chef after walking into the base’s kitchen one day to find lion covered in flour and lying facedown on the floor, crying

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - also lion! though he’s memorized doc’s order at all of their favorite restaurants, so he usually just gets take out and puts on a big show of being a “tired housewife who works in the kitchen all day just for this one meal” and setting up the table so it’s all nice and romantic

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - lion. he tried crème brûlée once. never again

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - lion. organization is everything to this man. doc helps with laundry and such, but for the most part he leaves organization to lion and his systems (think leslie knope levels of planning and organization)

Who is really against chores? - neither! they both understand that teamwork makes the dream work, baby!!

Who cleans up after the pets? - doc, since lion’s already asked him which color hanger should represent “clothes i can tear off my husband before we fuck” and he needs a Moment

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither. they don’t own a broom

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - lion because of the deep-seated catholic urge to appear perfect in front of others, and doc because people will gossip, olivier!

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - lion. he immediately called doc into the room and asked “is this your stash of drug money?” doc, who had been asleep because it was 3 in the morning on a saturday, just stares at him

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - it is so bold to assume they don’t shower together to “cut costs”

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - lion is known in their neighborhood as the man who walks cats. there is a facebook page where people post pictures of him walking his cats. vigil is an admin

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - LITERALLY EVERY HOLIDAY GETS DECORATIONS. lion makes his own for the muslim holidays since there really aren’t many “of good quality” in stores. when they first started dating, doc came home to find his house covered in ramadan decorations, and lion standing precariously on a ladder, trying to string up fairy lights while learning how to pronounce important arabic words. needless to say, doc cries

What are their goals for the relationship? - mutual joy and contentment!!!!

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - doc. he’s sleepy

Who plays the most pranks? - lion, but they’re stupid ones like replacing certain pictures with danny devito. doc gets back at him by replacing pictures of jesus with ewan mcgregor, and putting yoda into his nativity scene. lion doesn’t notice

#ask #anonymous #r6s doc #r6s lion #doc/lion #ass alert!#could you tell i forgot whether or not lion's ex and son had names #thank you for interacting!

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lavenderlattaes · 4 years

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i love you. | bts

⇒ summary: you said you love him in the most casual way.

⇒ [ idolverse! au ]

⇒ pairing: bts x reader

⇒ word count: 2.6k words (in total)

⇒ genre: fluff

⇒ warnings: i think a few swear words

⇒ note: this was requested ages ago sksks im sorry anon, i was lost on how i should write this bc I’ve never tried writing reactions before and i think it’s supposed to be in bullet(proof)form but I found myself writing it like this lol. and since we’re celebrating mots:7 and i am absolutely LOVING the new tracks rn, here’s the reaction you request years ago he he. I’ll have to add dividers and other stuff for this later on bc it’s too long but im on mobile rn. ANYWAY ENOUGH TALKING,, ignore mistakes bc im a bit of a blind bat and enjoy!＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／

kim seokjin:

You’ve been dating Seokjin for a few months now and you can’t help but fall for him completely. It was hard not to — he made you laugh, he was so selfless, and he fed you with his amazing cooking skills.

The thing is, you haven’t said the three words yet. The three, special words that could — no matter how sweet it may be — either make or break you both.

The boys had just gotten back from recording and you were at their dorms, Jin coming up to you as soon as they entered to plant a gentle kiss to your cheek.

“Hey, love. Let me go wash up then I’ll help you,” he greets, and you smile at him, going back to cleaning the vegetables for dinner.

“Hey, Y/N,” Hoseok greets chirpily and you greet him, as he jumps onto a chair to watch you work.

“How are things with hyung?” He casually starts, placing his head in the palm of his hands as he grins at you. You’re closest to Hoseok, since you grew up with him and he was the one who introduced you to the boys.

“Oh, we’re doing great, he makes me happy,” you admit genuinely and Hoseok smiles. “He makes great food, doesn’t he?” Hoseok asks you and you giggle, nodding.

“Yeah, I love him, he feeds me well,” you sigh happily and Hoseok laughs.

You turn around to grab a bowl from the upper cupboard but groan when you realize you can’t reach it. You’re about to call Hoseok for help when a familiar arm snakes around your waist. You look up and see Jin, a smile on his face as he reaches up to get the bowl for you.

“I love you too, baby.” He replies to your statement earlier, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

min yoongi:

Instead of locking himself up in the studio to work on more songs or in his room to sleep, Yoongi found himself sitting on the couch, tuned in to a show where you were currently guesting on.

You were a famous producer and idol as well, and that’s how the two of you met in the first place. You’ve been dating for quite some time now, and you even went public with your relationship just a month back. The public surprisingly took the news very well, and no wars or issues had happened between your fans.

“So, Y/N, you and Yoongi just went public with your relationship last month, right?” The interviewer begins and you nod, sipping on your water bottle, a soft smile on your face.

Yoongi found himself smiling, turning the volume up just a tad bit. “How are things between you and the fans? Any fan wars going on?” You laugh and shake your head. “There’s definitely none of that,” you begin, “our fans are very nice and have even become friends. Most of my fans started listening to BTS’ music — if they didn’t already —” Yoongi chuckles at the comment, “and Yoongi’s fans have popped up in my feed to comment on how much they love my songs.” You finished.

Yoongi’s smile got wider and he made himself more comfortable as the interview went on. “It’s nice to know that everything’s going well for you both.” The interviewer gushes and you giggle, your laugh, making Yoongi blush from his seat on the couch.

You sure have him wrapped around your finger, huh?

“Yeah, I’m sure my fans love him too,” the words slip out from your lips too soon and Yoongi’s eyes widen. It’s the first time you’ve said you love him, and even if it’s indirect, it still makes his heart race.

“And I love you too, Y/N. So much, baby.” Yoongi whispers, his eyes trained on you until the interview ends, a loving smile on his face.

jung hoseok:

You love dancing, just as much as Hoseok does and that’s how you both met. You’ve been going to the same dance academy since you were a kid, and when you were graduated college, you chose to work at your dance academy.

Hoseok somehow found himself inside your dance academy, where he was supposed to teach a master class for the students there for the next three days. At the time, your artistic director was out of the country to be with some of the ballerinas of your academy who were competing. You were left in charge so you had to attend to Hoseok for the entire time. Somehow, the two of you clicked because of your passion for dance and the rest is history.

“Y/N, where’s Hoseok?” One of the little girls in your class tugged on your sweatpants while you were having a break in the middle of their class. It was no secret to the entire academy that you’re dating the “cool and sunshine teacher” they had a few months back. Everyone absolutely adored him, especially the younger kids who wanted to be like him.

“He has practice too, sweetie. Why do you ask?” You crouch down to her height and she sits down cross legged. At the mention of Hoseok, the other kids join in and form a circle around you.

“Isn’t he coming over?” One kid asks, and they all start nodding and talking over the other. You laugh and get them to settle down. “He’s busy, so I’m not sure,” you tell them and they groan.

“I miss Hoseok hyung. He’s so cool, and I love how he teaches class,” one of the younger boys sigh, hands crossed over his chest. You chuckle at the adorable sight, beckoning him over to give you a hug.

“Yeah, me too, bud.” You reply and the kids gasp. “YOU LOVE HOSEOK?!” They start shouting and running around, repeating the same thing over and over. “Y/N loves Hoseok.”

You shrug and stand up, gathering them back to the center of the studio to continue the class. “Come on, kids. Back to class. If you do well, today, maybe we can have Hoseok teach another class soon,” you say, going over to the speaker to play their song.

“I love you too!” A familiar voice shouts from the back and all of you turn around to see the one and only, Jung Hoseok.

kim namjoon:

You didn’t know how you managed to get yourself strapped to an outdoor rollercoaster, but here you were, with a small camera placed in front of your seat to record the entire ride.

“Why are we doing this again?” You choke out, turning to your band member beside you.

She was calm and collected about the entire thing, and she shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe because the fans wanted us to do this for the live?” You throw your head back, dreading the ride that was going to happen shortly.

“Relax, Y/N. You can do this!” Your maknae tells you from the back and you whine. “I’m the leader, why did I let this happen anyway?”

“Again, because the fans wanted us to do this. They’re watching right now, you know.” The eldest member chirps up and you groan as the rest of your members laugh.

“And you guys just had to put me in the front, huh,” you grumble, just as the ride started to move. You squeal, gripping the onto the handles in front of you. Your members let out whoops of cheers and laughter as the car went up.

You could see the buildings from below and the other rides, especially the rides for the kids. Why didn’t you ride that instead? “Y/N, fighting!” Your members cheer as you scream. The car reaches the top and you gulp, bracing yourself for the drop.

You feel the car tip over dangerously and the moment it drops, you throw your fears away and scream as loud as you can. “Kim Namjoon, if I die, you better know how much I love you!” You scream, completely forgetting you’re being filmed in real time and if he was watching, he just heard you say you love him for the very first time. And even if he didn’t, he’d definitely find out about it soon.

Oh, well. It’s true anyway, and you weren’t concerned about that right now. The ride makes another sudden drop but this time it tilted to your side and you let out another scream. “Mom, mom, mom I wanna go home!” You scream and you’re certain you’ll be met with memes the moment you get off the ride.

If you’re somehow still conscious after the ride.

park jimin:

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Jeongguk plops down beside you on the couch and you tear your eyes away from the show you were watching and raise an eyebrow at him.

“What’s this for?” You ask suspiciously. Jeongguk shakes his head innocently, his eyes glancing at his hyung who was sleeping soundly in your lap.

Your hands subconsciously start playing with Jimin’s hair and he cuddles closer to your stomach.

“Come on, truth or dare!” Jeongguk presses and you sigh. “Truth, because Jimin’s sleeping and I don’t want to disturb him.” You give in and Jeongguk grins.

“Okay, let’s play fast talk,” Jeongguk claps his hands excitedly and you choke on your saliva. “I thought we were playing truth or dare?”

“I change my mind. Answer with yes or no,” Jeongguk adjusts himself on the couch, a mischievous smile on his face.

You sigh. “Fine.”

“Are you tired of hyung?”

You glare at him. “No.”

“Is he clingy?”

“Yes, but I love it.”

“Is he adorable?”

“Yes, what’s with these questions Jeon?”

“Don’t ask. Does he make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.” You stop running your hands through Jimin’s hair when you realize what you said and whip your head to look at Jeongguk. “Y/N, zero. Jeongguk, one.”

You’re about to retort when you’re interrupted. “I love you too,” Jimin mumbles, taking your hand and placing a kiss on your wrist, your cheeks heating up.

“Thanks, Gguk, even though you had to witness us say we love each other for the first time and completely ruin the moment,” Jimin mutters half-asleep.

kim taehyung:

Your eyes scan the comments coming in, looking for a question to answer.

“Where’s Yeontan?” You read. “He’s out with Taehyung right now,” you answer, and your own dog barks up from beside you, making you giggle. You pat your lap and your dog jumps up, appearing in your Vlive as well.

“When’s the next comeback?” You read and laugh, shaking your head. “Can’t tell you that right now, my loves. But expect new music this year,” you wink and your fans go wild in the comments, begging for you to reveal just a little bit more.

“No can do, guys. It’s either I let my love for you prevail or I lose my job,” you say in your most serious tone and your fans start taking back their pleads. Your eyes widen and you wave your hands frantically, giggling at the camera.

“I’m kidding, guys! I’m kidding!” Your dog barks up and you can only assume he’s trying to help you out too.

“Let’s move onto another topic, shall we?” You clear your throat after your laughter dies down and various other questions start filling in.

“Oooh! Yea, let’s play a game!” Your eyes light up and your fans start sending hearts in. “We’ll ask you to list down a number of things in the just twenty seconds,” you read off and grin, nodding.

“Okay, I’ll answer whichever my eyes read first,” you adjust yourself on your chair, stroking your dog’s furry hair as he waggles his tail in content.

“List of things you love,” you read off. “Oh! My family, my dog, my fans, my music, waking up late on my day off, spring, ice cream in the winter,” you pause slightly, and your fans start counting down, making you panic.

5...4...3...2…

“Uh, uh, TAEHYUNG!” You blurt out, just as the number one spams in the comments. For a moment there the comments stop coming in and you’re unsure if the app crashed or your wifi just started to suck.

“THAT’S THE FIRST TIME SHE SAID SHE LOVES TAEHYUNG!” Your eyes land on the comment and everyone starts agreeing.

“Oh, wow, ha ha, look at the time,” your eyes look down to your wrist and you mentally curse to find no watch resting there.

“Bye, guys!” You squeak out and end the live abruptly.

You let out a scream as your cheeks burn with embarrassment. Your dog pokes your hand with his nose and you can only pout at him.

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” Your dog stares at you for a moment, before letting out what you assume is a bark of agreement.

jeon jeongguk:

“I have to go on stage now, baby. I’ll see you after our stage, okay? Meet me back here,” Jeongguk kisses your cheek quickly and your cheeks flush, making him giggle.

“Good luck,” you manage to stutter out and he waves cutely, running up to his hyungs who’ve started to head for the stage. Once he turns around the corner, you fan yourself, still not used to his affectionate actions.

“Y/N!” You hear someone call from behind you, and compose yourself before turning around.

You’re met with a camera and some crew, and you assume they’re doing some backstage interview for tonight’s show.

“Hey!” You wave your hand and send hearts toward the camera, knowing how much your fans loved it when you did that.

“How was your stage, tonight?” One of the crew asks and you look up in thought before flashing a bright smile at the camera.

“I had lots of fun, especially because I saw so many of my fans in the crowd today. You guys were especially loud, I hope you didn’t go deaf or something,” you giggle and the crew laugh along with you.

“It must have been tiring, yeah?” They ask and you shrug. “In a sense, yes. But all of that goes away when I see people, not just my fans, enjoying the music I put out for them. I pour my heart into my music so it’s nice to know people appreciate it.” You smile and they nod.

“You love your fans a lot, don’t you?” You nod at the question and they grin. “Who else do you love?” They ask cheekily.

“Oh, that’s easy,” you begin, a surge of confidence coursing through you. You’re sure this is a good enough payback for leaving you flustered earlier.

“Who is it?” They ask innocently and you grin.

“Jeon Jeongguk,” you casually say and the crew whispers excitedly. “Who else would it be anyway?” You add and the crew laughs, nodding.

They ask you to say a few more words about your upcoming album which you happily answer, and they bow in thanks before heading off.

From behind, you can hear the shouts get louder and people congratulating your boyfriend’s group, with special greetings directed towards him.

You turn around and see his confused expression. He sees you and raises an eyebrow and you can only smile back, shrugging as you make your way over to him.

“What was that all about?” He asks after planting a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. You shake your head and grin at him.

“It’s nothing,” you take his hand in yours and you both start walking in the direction you of their dressing room. “Okay,”

He raises an eyebrow at you unsurely.

Oh, he won’t know what’s coming.

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charmspoint · 3 years

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Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish.

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

#anon #lucy rants #ask game #this one was the most fun so far aaa i like to geek out #sorry it took so long anon but i had lots of fun with it <3

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yeeiguess · 4 years

Text

HEY. More headcanons time. They come from nowhere. Some of them are literally appearing in brain as I type. Deal with it (and tell me YOUR headcanons ! About other characters too ! ) (With Katsuki, Denki, Yuuga and Hitoshi !)

Katsuki :

• He’s partially deaf because of his quirk

• He’s greysexual !

• He’s also Demipanromantic

• He totally used to model for his parents. Deku still have the pictures.

• He hates when Deku calls him ‘Kacchan’ but doesn’t mind when Denki does it (he HAD to get used to it)

• Might be trans ! Because we love trans headcanon. Would explain the Kac-CHAN tbh

• He has glasses but he’s embarrassed about it so he only wears them in the privacy of his room. A grand total of two people, not counting his parents, have seen him with them.

° He can totally cook, and he cooks people’s favorite food when they’re down. But you couldn’t make him admit it.

° Sato helps him with the desserts, so these two actually get along quite well

Denki !

• He cuts his hair short in his 3rd year of UA !

• He’s trans/non-binary. Either use they/them or any pronouns. He’s not that loud about it but he loves wearing pride merch (you know these shirts with flags only queer people can maybe recognise? That’s it.)

• He’s pan or bi ! Absolutely had a crush on ¾ of the class. And few people from other classes

• Labels are kinda difficult so they just use ‘queer’ most of the time. Also the flag is pretty-

• They have dyslexia and other things like that because their quirk fucked their brain up a little bit

• talking about that. When he gets brain fried because he overused his quirk, he can hear everything but has difficulties seeing/moving properly. He makes thumbs up to let people know he’s okay :( To speed up the recovery after frying his brain, you can charge him and massage him so that the electricity starts running again. He has nightmares about frying his brain and not being able to go back to normal

• He’s a people pleaser, and can be friends with anyone super fast because he’s just Like That

• This Boi loves cuddles. He can sleep with anyone, anywhere, as long as he gets cuddles. He has a lot of blankets in his room so it’s heavy and feels like a hug

• Would kiss anyone for free. Did I mention he has a crush on ¾ of his class ?

• When they make an effort, they can actually dress good. But they like sweatpants and pokemon shirts.

Also they’re boyfriends. I decided. Might have an Ei in there too (everyone’s poly because I said so)

Yuuga ! Sparkly boy !

° He lets his hair grow long so he can throw it being his shoulder. He’s dramatic

° He wears colorful makeup when he doesn’t have school !

° Used to live in France until middle school or something, and he actually has a lot of friends from here. (I need to know he’s not just alone at UA because he keeps to himself ToT)

° Bilingual, duh. He also knows a bit of JSL !

° His mom is in France because she’s sick and needs special treatment. Dad stayed with him, and when they got the dorms he went back to France. But they visit each other at every occasion !

° Doesn’t really use any label, but he would be pan if he had to use one

Hitoshi, the one and only

° Definitely knows sign language

° So much of the fandom agrees on that, but he’s an orphan and went through a lot of foster homes. Not all of them were good

° Basically got adopted by the Yamada/Aizawa household

° He actually knows quite a lot of languages. Figured it could be useful if he encountered a foreign villain lol (he knows French -and sometimes talk to Yuga in French- Japanese obviously, English, Italian and Mandarin. He’s pretty good at it, too !)

° He’s an awkward boy. Talks in memes, would go to Hot Topic, has the same music taste as Jiro, Tokoyami and Katsuki. That is, metal, rock and such (I'm not very good at music genre sorry)

° Has cats socks and a cat hoodie but he doesn’t wear them outside his room very often

° I like the idea of him being autistic, and being very fond of the texture of Aizawa’s scarf, which is part of the reason why he wanted to have the same. Also because Aizawa looks cool.

° Doesn’t like crowds and when there’s too many noises (like the common room after school), and has insomnia. Once he’s settled in the dorms (he WILL transfer to 1-A or 1-B. 1-A if possible because that way he could flirt with Denki more easily), he gets a weighted blanket and he sleeps way better

° He actually ? Eats a lot ? Even more now that he trains with Aizawa. You can find him at two in the morning in the kitchen, eating a full sandwich or lasagna. Don’t question it, and you’ll be safe.

Basically, any neurodivergent or disable or queer head canon im down for- I need representation, whatever kind you can give me

#Headcanons #Kaminari Denki #Katsuki Bakugo #Bakukami #kamibaku #Kaminari Denki headcanons #Katsuki Bakugo headcanons #Katsuki Bakugo is deaf #demipanromantic headcanons #trans headcanon #trans bnha headcanon #mha headcanon #I love them #aoyama yuuga #Aoyama Yuuga headcanon #shinsou hitoshi #autistic headcanon

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nottesilhouette · 4 years

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would it be okay if i asked you to talk some more about qpps? i think i might have one but im nervous becuase i don't really understand how to tell. do you mind if i ask if your both poly? and how it affects your other relationships? doyour partners mind? is it hard to balance? (sorry if this is to personal, please ignor if it is)

Of course! I love to talk to about this subject haha. I’m sorry I took a while to get back to this, I had to check in with a few people before posting anything (and Crow and I had a full on existential crisis when we saw this question oop XD) Answers under the cut!!

I guess the first thing is... QPP relationships are designed to offer a lot of space to self define your relationship. It’s specifically meant to give you an escape from other terms! The way Crow and I knew is... well, the way she put it is “You're the permanent relationship that I'd focus on keeping.” We don’t want to share each other, but we don’t want to stop each other from having other relationships... it’s just that we know this is the one that matters most. I want to know the people she dates and be friends with them, I just... also want to be loved in this specific special way and no one else.

We figured out what we were because... I don’t know! We met, we fell in love instantly as we fought over custody of internet children, we stayed up all night together because of insomnia. We made each other a priority. There was a time where she ghosted me for two months because of personal life things, and it happens to be one of my triggers (not that we knew that at the time). I freaked out, and when she came back online the first thing she did was make sure I was (we were) okay. That’s really important to me. We’ve gotten to a point where we trust each other to come back, and that’s huge for me, and that’s how I know she’s important.

It’s hard to give you a checklist, but if this person is important to you and you like the term QPP, the best thing to do is use it! Or to try using it, I suppose. Talk to the person you like. Tell them, and ask what they feel, and how they want to define the relationship. It’s hard and scary, I know, I almost choked my heart as it jumped out of my chest when I told angel that I’d thought about dating her. It turned out really well for me (obviously, as you can tell :P ) and it might not for you, but you’ll at least have a chance to find closure and heal, and hopefully it will go well!

Personally, QPP sounds a little stiff for us. The word we settled on was starmates, which is this cute little portmanteau of our favorite metaphor (my love language :3 ) and soulmates, and that works for us.

As for being poly... honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’ve been thinking about it since I realized I was ace and realized I would be okay with my partner having another partner to have sex with because that sure as heck wasn’t gonna be me.

For me... I ended up telling him from the very beginning that Crow was more important and was going to be more important, and he... was jealous for a while. It was something we had to work through because I was also jealous of his other partner, and we had to talk about it and figure out what our expectations were of each other. It’s really strange, honestly. I know that I have a lot more freedom to be with Crow the way I want to because people expect women to have best friends, and be really affectionate with them, and I also just don’t pursue relationships with people who are uncomfortable with me loving a lot of people, because I do and I don’t plan to deprioritize the people in my life who are important just because someone new came along.

He knew well before we started anything that Crow was my person, and I think that helped. He also got to meet her and spend time with her and see how happy she made me, and he’s kind of a wonderful person and wants me to be happy, so that helped. There’s been a lot of talking and therapy and Crow’s been kept in the loop about everything, and so has he, and that works. Not everyone is going to be okay with it, and I’m secure enough to know I would choose Crow every time, and that’s good enough for me. I’m willing to wait. Not everyone is. All I can say is that I hope you’re able to find someone who works with what you need, and I hope you communicate, and that’s all you can do. Whatever you choose, it’s okay.

He adds, “Everyone experiences jealousy, and ur not a bad person for feeling it. It's a thing that can be worked past if you believe it's important to do so, and the most important thing is to be able to admit to it and talk about it.”

There’s also something to be said about people who just don’t get it, and some of them are going to want to understand and do their best to respect your boundaries, and some are not. There’s no way to know, and you just have to ask and try things and work it out. In my opinion, someone who’s not willing to let you have time with someone who makes you happy is probably not a person you want to keep, but I might be wrong! I don’t know specifics, after all. That said, negotiating how you spend time with your partners is important and valid, and not controlling as long as it’s an open discussion where both people’s input and needs are valued.

...maybe I am poly. I don’t know!! Crow and I are... super unclear, like, are we inherently in a poly relationship now if we date someone? She says, “I haven't been in a relationship since we figured the qpp stuff out but I know you'd be more important.” (Way to make me melt on main I guess, wow babe :P, I say, making the active choice to include this comment.) I guess it’s up to us to identify as poly. I don’t think you need to just because you have a QPP or something, but you can! That option is available if you want it, and optional if you don’t.

It can be hard to balance, but honestly? There’s always something in a relationship. If they care about you and you care about them, you’ll make it work, and if not, you’ll find out and get to a healthier place I hope. You just have to be willing and able to try, and communicate, and find ways to explain to people in ways that work for you.

For what it’s worth, not every queer platonic relationship is like ours. She’s my most important person, but ultimately they’re just a friendship that matters a lot, and that can look like whatever you want. Someone you text one a month but love each other the whole day you spend together. Someone all you do is text memes to but you never want to stop. Someone you talk to every day and fall asleep on the phone to. QPPs are meant to give you space to define a relationship in your life in whatever way works for you, and what really defines the relationship is you, and communication with your potential QPP and any other partners you have.

I’m really happy to answer more questions, or explain in more detail anything you’re wondering, or happy to have a conversation with you and help work things out. (If you want to come off anon and message me privately, that’s very very welcome, I promise, but no pressure!!) This is something I care a lot about and I’m really willing to be available as much as I can for someone who’s as confused about it as I was.

#asks #the people I love #Notte's classroom #this is just an ode to how much I love Crow oop #QPPs

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writeiolite · 4 years

Note

askdlfhjs i was gonna do the check in and accidentally unfollowed but im more 🍓 than anythin else rn. Adjusting to college is crazy and i'm just now gettin into the groove, but i had to sorta delay grieving for a family member so that i could properly settle in. It's been wild for me & my mental health is kinda poopy but god bless u for everythin u do for HQC bc like, i now realize how hard it is to juggle that and post-secondary education (college/uni) and shit u do it well but yea im ramblin

BRO I LAUGHED SO HARD BC I WAS LIKE “omfg it’s day’s imposter. someone has a URL identical to hers-” AND THEN IT WAS YOU KJASHGKJDHS I WAS GONNA SS IT BC I THOUGHT WE FOUND UR CLONE BUT IT WAS LITERALLY YOUASUGASKDJHKJSD

!!! dis isn’t abt me omg pls im flattered but 🥺 UR DOING UR BEST JUGGLING BOTH!! and ur best one day may not live up to the best another day, but it’s awesome enough that ur doing smth hard bc it only gets easier ^^ at least there’s 12 of us working on it all ASGJASGKSJ

and beyond that, ur first year is a troubleshoot year. second year is gonna be so much different but in a good way, so let urself had drawbacks and mistakes! doing college is hard, doing college + literally anything else is hard. but you’ll grow from it and become even more amazing — i’ve seen you grow these past few months and that was already a spectacle in itself :D things are wild now but ur on a good path bc you’re you!!

i’m sorry you had to delay ur grieving, esp bc sometimes we really need to do so and it can feel mechanic to postpone ur feelings, but i sincerely hope u got to grieve and grieve as much as u needed. and if u didn't, don’t beat urself up over it. there’s always time and sometimes we grieve in different ways than we’re used to. don’t forget that ur mental and physical are important too!! it’s easy to forget when u have a lot going on, but i hope u can cross off like, 3 things on this checklist at the end of the day:

did u think of a happy memory today?

did u look at picture/video of ur pet(s) today or a friends pet?

did u ... ik this one is tough.......... d-d-d-drink... w*t*r...?🤢

did u see the sun today?

did u take ur meds?

did u eat a meal?

why is the list

making a

slope

anyway!! im proud of you!!!!!!!! lotssss of people are proud of u for doing all that u do, even if we only see parts of it. thank u for everything u do for me and HQC 🥺💛 thank u for sticking around when things get difficult and for sticking around when we do stupid shit. im forever grateful for meeting u, and i know im not the only one!! ^^ ur always always free to ramble here as much as u want. and if u don’t want a response, u can just say and i’ll provide a meme or song or video that reminds me of u ♡ mwah ily lots

#check-in with io #blkjcklz #inquire iolite

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1892 · 3 years

Note

V sorry if this is overstepping, but in terms of schools u got into not having ur major, literally like 70% of people i know changed their major in freshman year so really dw too much about it! You’re a very very bright and smart person and you’ll find something youre passionate about anywhere! Congrats on getting accepted to so many places bc college admissions in the us are absolutely insane and even being waitlisted truly is an accomplishment. U deserve amazing things and i know you’ll get them

hey anon absolutely NOTTTT overstepping at all. advice can be very good. my biggest worry is that when i go into these colleges as an english major or photography major i won’t have the option to change majors to classics again bc the department literally is being destroyed at a ton of public schools which is SOOOO fucked up just in terms of like.....college and capitalism it would essentially be going back to only private universities and cisstraightwhiteboys being the only people in classics again which sucks. umass boston was my first choice of the colleges that i got into but my major would have to be classical languages which isn’t ...exactly what i want? but honestly i might settle because i know uri is an option but it just doesnt seem like a good fit for me. bennington is tempting but i need to live in a city lol 😭 long post lol but college is kinda a big deal so i’m just kinda breaking down.

idk i was kinda relying on getting into ONE selective school bc i applied to like so many but oh well. dartmouth PLEASEEEEEEEEE eric andre meme let me IN!!!! LET ME IN!!!!

ALSO!!! i dont want it to sound like im being ilitest, every college has something for everybody and every college is using the same books...it’s really just a title that they make more selective to make it more....appealing, idk. i am happy to be able to go to college wherever i go and i know i’ll have good experiences.

my biggest problem is that i’ve spent four years trying so so hard with this ridiculous expectation burned into my brain that i cant let go of and i just feel like a failure even tho i will get a good education wherever i go so. :/ atm it’s a matter of 1. where i want to live and 2. a college that actually has my major. which leaves me...zero schools unless i get into a waitlist school lol

#dartmouth rated happiest top school #anon #ask

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Text

I get blends of innocent beans confused with what queer coding is or isn’t, and malignant beans misappropriating points, so we’re gonna do a quick run through.

Queer coding started as a malignant thing. The truest use of the phrase “queer coding” came from stereotypes and villainizations that straight people found sCaRy. This is like, why Scar seemed classically flamboiyant, or a variety of Disney villains were long, lanky, gestured exaggeratedly, wore eyeliner, etc. There’s a million examples but I’m not going to cover them all because I think you get what I mean. At the time, straight culture was painting gays as bad so painting villains as how straights perceived gays was like, super useful, cuz it creeped the straights out oOOoooOOo.

When people talk about queer coding enforcing stereotypes, if you’re talking about the original form of queer coding, this is inherently true. However, coding reached other levels, and has adaptive forms.

For example, watching (as I’ve been mocked for saying 10,000 times, but because it’s needed) The Celluloid Closet will clear up a lot for you. Subversive queer coding is when queer creators use a great deal of things to communicate with a queer audience past censorship. The film documentary (if you can’t read the book -- which I understand, it’s difficult to find) clears a whole fuckton of this up.

There’s some things that, quite frankly, we as gays know as part of our language. It is what it is. While it’s not a stereotype, it’s quite literally a language I highly warn straights against stepping into, because then they flounder around confused on what’s our actual language and what’s a stereotype

A truly innocent bean asked of me yesterday, well why then is menthols fair subversive queer coding? How is that not a stereotype?

Well like, because it’s facts. And that’s really, really hard to wrap ones’ head around from an outsider straighty perspective or even someone who’s queer but trapped heavily in a hetnorm world outside of where this is visible and/or in the wrong demographic otherwise. A black person who hangs out with black people of all orientations is not going to blink at a media dude getting menthols generally, because it’s one of the cultures that statistically engages in it to the point of memes about Kools or whatever. That’s not my culture, I can’t comment on much beyond that, but it’s just something to take note of.

But even if you don’t want to take someone’s word on “no, seriously, white dudes smoking menthols is queer culture and literally like a great sign for a hookup to another queer white dude”, google the various intersections of gender and menthol, race and menthol, and sexuality and menthol.

This isn’t pulled out of thin air. These were populations quite literally heavily targeted by Big Tobacco and, by nature, are the ones that smoke it, whereas Big Tobacco put(s) on airs of masculinity and chick-magnetness to smoke good ol non-menthol shit. It’s literally marketing. Yes, it does literally impact who buys product and yes, it does after generations have a noticeable affect. Track the numbers I told you to google down and you’ll realize less than 3% of menthol smokers identify as straight white men (depending on the way the numbers sort out and the year of polling, often 1.x%, 3% is the liberal number).. Lemme tell you, on the street, that’s an “okay, honey :)” when you do find it. Maybe a little pat on the head. An invisible brochure for Welcome To The Gays. Like, White Men make up more than 31% of America and they still refuse to tally more than 25% of the US as queer [some censuses as low as 6% and LOL] so like-- that should be like minimum 25% of dudes available and nope, 1-3%)

(that’s not to say all gays or even all white gays smoke menthol, but this is that rule of “not all fingers are thumbs, but all thumbs are fingers” in loose application.)

But understanding these things, these signals, from the outside is utterly flabbergasting to people.

No, someone making an immasculating joke is not subversive queer coding. No, a dude wearing a certain kind of shirt or eating a certain kind of food generally isn’t queer coding (Unless it’s a rainbow flag BITCH IM GAY shirt, or uh, maybe for food quiche or hummus? I mostly joke for the latter two, but that’s the kind of self ball punching queer community sometimes does to itself in awareness that yes, there ARE elements. No, eating hot dogs and burritos isn’t gay. Yes, we make make penis jokes. No, that isn’t itself queer coding.)

When a queer author codes a piece, it’s designed to communicate to the resonant audience. It also may not communicate to /all/ gays. The language of a middle aged cis gay man that lived through the AIDS crisis is a whole other fuckin adventure from the language of 17 year old trans gays squatting behind their Xbox, it’s just fact, it’s just what is. Completely different cultures and lives being lived, completely different experiences resulting. A few things here or there may connect across generations but some shit that’s written by a gen Z gay is gonna whiff by a boomer gay, sorry. Also just facts.

Explaining exactly what is and isn’t queer coding is almost impossible beyond the fact that “if you don’t get it, it’s probably not for you.” -- At the same time, that leaves the problematic room of people taking that grey area and packing in a bunch of shit and we’re back to ground zero on the original problematic queer coding.

I once read a meta of uh-- I’ll just say, [Fantasy Character]. The fantasy character had an addiction problem that gave them villain-like attributes. Someone implied the “villain coding” made it queer coding. Okay like. Fucking absolutely not. Because if the show in question WAS doing that, first off, that’s literally the kind to make mockeries of gay people so you literally shouldn’t be reaching for that and second off they’d be doing that lanky sassy bitch with eyeliner bullshit like Disney villains with it, give or take. You don’t apply this shit in reverse, “he has villain attributes and so he’s gay” is literally the worst possible angle to take a discussion while trying to slap fight in a representation arena. Like I can’t say enough DO NOT DO THIS SHIT.

If you wanna write fic or headcanon whoever as gay or whatever have fun but like once people keep trying to talk about “coding” you’re talking about conscious elements inset by the authors. Does a character have a bunch of on the record sexual encounters that just happen to include dudes persistently even if we don’t exactly get the exact angle or Proof Of Dicking? That’s gay (also depending on the phrasing, as settled in older stuff, that’s just deadass queer text and settled long before this fandom ever had pissing matches about this shit in older cinema.) Does the character happen to be respectful and use like gender neutral pronouns on people? Sorry folks that unto itself isn’t gay, that’s gays writing allies at best, unless you can give specific and directly applicable situations relevant to the character rather than eternally vague blogging through and swearing up and down it’s just about their partners or some shit. Yelling it in general though, sorry, no.

Does the character engage in things or events with non-het gendered partners that in the very least are heavily coded into the areas of relationships even if they’re unclear (eg, do they routinely go out with non-family people and hold deep or meaningful conversations in things that LOOK like a date, even if nobody SAYS it’s a date) -- congrats, you have coded text. Alone it could even be queerplat stuff, depending on the suprastructure of the plot, text, subtext and everything else around it (same way, gasp, a man and a woman can sit at a table and not necessarily be in a relationship, but if they’re trading courting gifts and having unique and powerful exchanges or have big like, “the heart is the thing that binds us together uwu” shit, we all figure out what the fuck is going on like grown assed adults.)

It’s easier to list things that are NOT subversive queer coding:

Insults against gay people

Immasculating commentary

Random foods short of it deadass being a gay author making fun of some gay meme shit in some gay equivalent of ‘right in front of my salad’

Favorite colors or clothing

---

We got it? Good. Rule of thumb though. Deadass unless you are involved in some thick-ass queer culture don’t try to queer code shit. I don’t even care if you’re queer yourself because that doesn’t mean you’ve actually been subject to the culture in a meaningful way. There’s 30 year old bis that grew up in white picket fence suburbias on top of trust funds with hovercraft parents guiding them through 17 degrees and keeping them out of party culture that married a het-passing relationship and settled down and started having babies and their grasp of queer culture ends at what they perceive out of memes online, if they even hover in actual queer crowds online at all as much as general ones. That person literally is not going to speak much of the language. They aren’t. At best they’ll speak the language of 30 year old trust fund het-married bisexual mothers which, I mean yeah, technically some queer language but that’s a very, very fucking niche experience path right there compared to street-dwelling club-goers that attend pride, hold D&D parties with all their coworkers they figured out are gay on the weekend, occasionally brick a window in a riot. The latter is gonna have a far more diverse queer experience. And by such, a far more diverse queer language.

That’s not even to gatekeep. 30 year old trust fund het-passing-marriage bi-mom is in fact bi. So yeah, they’re queer. But we’re talking about language and culture, which is related to but not something you inherit. It comes by lives and experiences.

And I think this is where a LOT of the fucked up early Queer Coding fuckery comes from in discourse. Yes we have a language. Hell, to some extent a few things might even kinda BE stereotypes but there’s a certain amount of living and being where you know the difference between “this is a stereotype made by straight people villainizing us that has no idea what we’re fucking like” or “this is a stereotype born out of mass marketing that targeted and victimized then imprinted on an entire population that we’ve come to recognize among ourselves.” Or even “this is a stereotype but FUCK YES it’s one we embrace, go get fucked, straights.” And it’s not NEARLY as ambiguous as fandom circle jerks try to make these things out to be in the interest of wanting every interpretation to be valid or every character to be gay or not wanting to admit some person may know what the fuck they’re talking about more than they do.

Huge point on that last one though, because like. I’ve seen some angry straights that are pissy about the show try to throw wrenches in the gears by concern trolling as if in defense of the gays about “offensive queer coding” and most of the time they’re basically that “how do you do fellow kids gays” meme. “How do you do gays I am very concerned about *checks notes* the twitters talking about gay men walking fast” and half the time turn around like two tweets later like “besides the character doesn’t even have a lisp anyway” or some bullshit that is outright offensive ass stereotyping while they’re out here trolling over the fact that a gay man admits to diva worship as a cultural trait.

General rule of thumb: ask a queer culture immersed gay about queer coding.

Shipping culture in the blue hellsite is not queer culture, for the record. Even if a bunch of queerfolk are in it.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

A very tired gay

#supernatural #spn #fandom #queer coding

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captainillogical · 5 years

Text

Devil’s Ballroom Ch.7

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

ya’ll im sorry lmao

You spend the rest of your evening doing exactly none of the errands that you needed to deal with today. Instead, you're laying on your couch and texting your friends.

Y/N: I'm so tornnnn.

Y/N: Do I say something about the cheek smooch?

Y/N: Should I leave it be?

Y/N: Because she's texting like nothing happened.

Y/N: What if I'm reading too much into it??

Y/N: What if that's just how she shows friendship affection???

Y/N: I might make it so fucking awkward if I assume something!

Y/N: This entire ordeal is mortifying!!!

Y/N: I want nothing more than to dig a big hole and lie in it forever.

Y/N: I might be low-key having a panic attack about this rn but what's new.

Harper: Y/N. chill. you're way overreacting to this.

Harper: even if it meant nothing, she still likes you as a friend right?

Harper: i think it would take a lot for her to like.. not wanna stay friends lol.

Alex: im just saying you could probably kiss her and she'd be ok with it

Alex: cheek kisses are pretty forward

Harper: don't listen to him. all of his relationships ended in failure.

Alex: wow

Alex: im seriously hurt

Harper: am I wrong?

Alex: no..

Harper: my point exactly.

Harper: i’m not saying you have nothing to lose or anything.

Harper: because i myself had to tread very carefully with leah..

Harper: but i think you should just see where it goes and not like

Harper: put too much emphasis on this incase it was nothing.

Y/N: Yeah see now you have me worried it WAS nothing!!

Alex: oh my goooooooddddddddddddddd

Alex: the both of you approach women so.. pathetically

Alex: take a risk

Alex: live a little

Alex: what is seriously the worst that could happen

Alex: she kills you??

Alex: lmao

Alex: its funny cuz of.. you know

Harper: i can’t wait to be home and smothering him with a pillow instead of affection.

Y/N: You and me both.

Y/N: Try being the only one available to play games with him.

Alex: both of you fucking love me okay

Alex: alsooooooo i get to be home the day after tomorrow

Alex: the alex is back, babieeeeee

Y/N: Harper please come home I’m BEGGING you.

Harper: sorry you gotta deal with him alone for another month lmao.

Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Alex: can i get a fucking crumb of love here please

You swipe over to the couple of messages Spinel has left you in the past couple of minutes while you were talking to your friends.

Spinel: It’s another stupid ball, I just found out.

Spinel: I told her that I’m sitting this one out this time.

Spinel: She has so many others that would absolutely love to help her, and yet, still absolutely insists that I must be there.

Spinel: I don’t want to go back to homeworld right now, and not for this.

Y/N: And you put your foot down? Hell yeah, dude.

Y/N: Planning a ball for a bunch of gems sounds like a chore anyway.

Spinel: oh, it is, believe me.

Spinel: And they need everything to be PERFECT.

Spinel: Which isn’t realistic anymore now that they don’t expect any of the gems to stay in line with their gem class nowadays.

Spinel: The last ball they threw almost 4 months ago was utterly chaotic.

Y/N: For thousands of years y'all as a race never pushed to deviate from the norm, and now that you guys are allowed to? I’d go batshit with it too.

Y/N: Being stifled in everyday life, and finally you’re free?

Y/N: Fuck, I’d go around fusing with anyone!

Spinel: That is precisely what too many of them did.

Y/N: Lmao. I wish I could’ve seen that.

You tab back over to your group chat for a moment to see what they’re talking about.

Harper: see? they’re everywhere.

Harper: i wasn’t expecting the campsite to have so many.

Alex: you could have built an army and instead you took pictures

Alex: do you know how easy it is to lure chipmunks?

Alex: oh that lil guy on the bottom right is so fucking chunky i love him

Harper: that’s the one that got the closest when i fed them. :3

Alex: oh i fuckin BET

Alex: you dont get that chubby in the wild without takin a few risks

Alex: if u know what i mean ;)

Harper: i hate whatever you just implied.

Y/N: It’s not a conversation with Alex unless you roll your eyes at least 3 times.

Alex: hey i thought it was 4 times

Alex: dont insult me

Alex: anyway, y/n

Alex: are you workin the day i come back

Y/N: Yeah I’m actually scheduled a double.

Alex: scheduled

Y/N: Yes.

Alex: a double

Y/N: Yes.

Alex: he can’t SCHEDULE you a DOUBLE

Y/N: He can if he asks me ahead of time as a favor.

Alex: that fuckin bastard

Alex: always ruining my plans

Harper: you’re still mad at him for firing you last summer, huh.

Alex: OF COURSE I AM

Y/N: Bro you stole like $300 of cotton candy sugar that summer.

Y/N: It’s only fair.

Y/N: Besides, I’m only doing this because he said he’d give me a long weekend for it.

Alex: kay well

Alex: i guess i’ll just go bug you at work and wait for you to get off that day :'(

Y/N: Get me written up again, I swear to god.

Your phone chimes several times, and you swipe down to see messages from both Spinel and Steven. You check Spinel's first.

Spinel: Do me a favor and ignore any messages Steven has sent you.

Y/N: What are you, my boss?

Spinel: I MEAN IT

You quickly switch over to Steven's texts.

Steven: I was going to ask you if your date with Spinel went okay, but I'm assuming it went fine considering she hasn't really stopped talking about you.

Ohhhh my god, this is wild. You reply to him.

Y/N: It wasn't a date as far as I know.

Y/N: I had fun.

Y/N: She's telling me to not read your messages, lmao.

Y/N: Also what do you mean she hasn't stopped talking about me??

Steven: She’s been lying on my floor for the last hour basically gushing about you.

�� Steven: But you didn’t hear that from me!

Steven: :D

Y/N: Haha thanks, kid.

You switch back over to text Spinel, and get up off the couch to make yourself some tea. Pulling out your kettle, you turn the stove on and grab some raspberry flavored abomination tea bag that your dad loves more than any of the other good tea flavors.

Y/N: Sooooo.

Spinel: You talked to him, didn’t you.

Y/N: Hahaha noooo. :)

Spinel: The fuck did he say?

Y/N: Absolutely nothing.

Spinel: Seriously? I was sure he’d reveal something embarrassing.

Y/N: Nope! You should probably get off his floor eventually, though.

Your kettle goes off and you grab a clean mug, and pour the boiling water into it along with the tea packet. You look down at your phone, and grin.

Spinel: goddammit.

You let the bag steep for a little bit, and add in a small amount of sugar. Walking up to your bedroom you take a snap of Jellybean half lounging, half falling off the stairs and send it to Spinel. She replies with a couple heart emojis, and you wonder if Steven was the one to show her the proper use of them. You set your cup of tea down on your desk, and turn your computer on. It’s evening now, and it’s much too late to do anything left with the rest of your day productivity-wise, so you settle in on playing more minecraft. Your thoughts wander quite a bit, and you find yourself stuck on thinking about Spinel. Naturally. You wonder about a lot of things she’s learned while staying on earth, from things like - does she pay rent? Does she have a job? Does she know what taxes are? Does she know what a relationship with a human looks like? She said she watched a movie, but didn’t exactly elaborate. You don’t know what human-norms she’s been exposed to. You can’t even concentrate enough to mine any of this redstone for Alex, and you nearly die in-game when the thought of ‘does she know what sex is?’ pops into your mind. You grab your phone and shoot Spinel another message.

Y/N: Quick question.

Y/N: If you don’t mind me asking.

It takes her a few minutes to reply.

Spinel: Sure?

Y/N: Do you know how humans are made?

Spinel: w

Spinel: Yes?

Spinel: Steven told me about it a few weeks ago actually.

Spinel: Why are you asking?

Y/N: No reason! Just curious is all.

Spinel: Hm.

Yeah you’re not too confident that she actually knows, and you’re too chickenshit to elaborate right now. You’ll enlighten her later. You spend the rest of the night browsing memes on your phone, and texting your friends and Spinel on occasion. Before you know it, your eyes drift close with your phone in hand.

You wake up when your alarm goes off for your morning shift, and curse at yourself for not charging it last night. It’s at a solid 32%, which isn’t really enough to go about your day, but you’ll have to make do. You get ready for a hopefully not shitty day, lock up the house, and head in to work.

It’s a complete shitshow when you come in, and you turn your phone off to save battery and concentrate on dealing with more than an average amount of tourists. You find Mr. Smiley sleeping in the breakroom/office/supply closet, and have half a mind to lock him in there from the outside for the rest of your shift. It’s pretty busy, and messy, and it isn’t until you’re there for several exhausting hours that you finally have enough time for a break. You turn your phone on, and instantly you’re flooded with messages from several different people. Ugh.

A couple from your dad - just checking in, really. Group chat too as usual, but none of it seems overly important. One from Spinel, and several from Steven. You open up Spinel’s message first.

Spinel: Do you think we could talk about a couple of things later?

Vague, and a little concerning. You text back an apology for getting back to her so late, and open the messages from Steven.

Steven: Hey are you busy?

Steven: I’m dealing with a bit of a situation right now, and could use your help.

Steven: Spinel locked herself in my bathroom, and she won’t come out.

Steven: She refuses to answer to anyone, and several of us have tried.

Steven: I’m just really worried about her, and you guys seemed to bond, so I was hoping..

Steven: That maybe you could come over?

Steven: Thanks regardless.

You check the timestamp, and that was over an hour ago. Jesus christ.

Y/N: Steven I’m so sorry, my phone was off and I’m at work, give me a few and I’ll be right over, okay?

Y/N: I’ll be quick.

He replies almost immediately with a “please” and you pocket your phone. You try not to worry too hard about Spinel as you rush over to grab your things, and knock on Mr. Smiley’s office/broom closet door. He opens it groggily, clearly just waking up.

“Yeah?” he slowly blinks at you.

“I gotta leave early. Emergency.” You stare at him, trying to not be pissed at his lack of work ethic.

“Are you for real? You’ve got another 3 hours left.” He says and crosses his arms, and you glare at him.

“I’ve been working my ass off while you’ve been sleeping this whole time, AND I’m covering your ass tomorrow so you can go meet your old friend! So the LEAST you can do is let me go early when I have an emergency!!!” You almost yell out at him, and he holds his hands up in defense.

“Okay, okay! Fine. Only because you’re a good worker.” He says, and has the gall to look at least a little ashamed of himself.

“Damn right I am.” You spin around and head out of the building, practically running.

You almost trip and bite it several times on the way over to Steven’s place, but you’re more worried about Spinel. You’ve only been to his place twice, but once you’re there you run up the stairs and open the door without knocking. You’re greeted by the only two people in the living room, Pearl, and Steven.

“Oh, she’s here!” Pearl says and nudges Steven, who looks up from typing on his phone.

“Y/N! Thank god you’re here.” He says with furrowed eyebrows.

“What happened?” You say and shut the door, and cross the room over to him.

“I’m not sure! We were just working on something together for Amethyst, and she got a call from Blue and Yellow. She’s been ignoring them lately, and they’ve been bothering me in turn because of that, so I asked her to take the call just see what they want.” He runs his hand through his brown curls, and just for a moment, you see that 12 year old him in again. The obvious stress masks just how young he really is, and you feel bad that he can’t live life like a normal kid. “She went outside to take the call, and was out there for quite a while. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I did hear some yelling. And just when I was going over to make sure they were alright, she comes back in tears, eyes spiraling like months ago, and nearly knocks Pearl over rushing into the bathroom.”

“And nothing since?” You inquire, fidgeting with your hands.

“No,” He says, frustratedly. “I’ve been trying to reach the diamonds to see what this is all about, but I’ve only been getting the pearls. I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t been like this in months. What were they talking about to make her this upset?”

“Maybe I can find out. You said she’s in your bathroom?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, the one right over here.” He says and points to it.

“Is it locked?” You ask.

“No,” Pearl glances towards the bathroom door and crosses her arms. “The lock has been broken on it for a while, since Peridot joined us actually. Both Garnet and I tried opening it, but I think once Spinel hears someone trying to come in she blocks the door.”

Hm.

“I’m gonna try something, but you guys are gonna wanna stay away.” You say to the two of them. “I don’t want to overwhelm her with more than one person.”

“Let us know if we can do anything?” Steven makes to pass by you and gives your arm a light squeeze. “And thanks for coming to help.”

“Anytime, dude.” You give him a half smile, and walk over to his bathroom. You turn to take a look back at the other two, and they’re already in the kitchen discussing something in soft tones. You move to knock at the door, make two light taps against the frame, and wait for an answer.

A couple seconds pass, and nothing. Not even any movement. Nervously, you knock again, a little louder this time, and wait for a good ten seconds.

Still nothing.

You take a deep breath, reach out to grab the door handle, and very slowly and quietly open the bathroom door. You see nothing but absolute darkness, and step in. You feel around the wall to your right and flip a switch just as you close the door behind you with an audible click. The room instantly floods with the dark red light of the heat lamp, and before you can even think about finding another light source, you find yourself slammed up against the wall and let out a surprised yelp. You open your eyes to see Spinel’s face inches from yours, pupils wild, her hands splayed against your shoulders.

“U-um,” Your voice cracks a little. “Hey.”

You watch her eyes take a second to find yours, and almost instantly, she lets you go, arms trembling.

“W.. what are YOU DOING HERE!?” She cries, large tears pouring down her face, eyebrows raised in confusion, mouth trembling. Her hair is in loose pigtails, strands untamed around her face, cheeks stained with tear tracks. She looks like a mess, and your heart breaks, just a little. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt y-”

“I’m fine.” You cut her off. “I should have said who it was outside the door, I’m sorry. And um.. Steven texted me while I was at work, and told me what was going on so I rushed over..” You trail off as you watch Spinel’s entire body shake, and she covers her face with both of her hands.

“I can’t believe I just did that.” You hear her wavering voice, muffled behind her fists, and she lets out a choked sob. “Maybe they were right. M-maybe I’m not meant to-” She quickly moves her hands down to look at the floor with wide, vulnerable eyes, and struggles to form the rest of her words. You hear her breathing pick up pace, and you’re starting to realize she’s hyperventilating.

“Spinel, look at me.” Her eyes shoot up to yours, lips trembling. “I need you to breathe.” You do what your friends have always done with you, and gently grab both of her hands and hold them with yours, thumbs stroking her palms in slow circles. She freezes up instantly, and you’re about to panic, because while a familiar touch helps ground you, you register that maybe it’ll make it worse for her. But before you can pull your hands away, her hands relax ever so slightly, and she lets out a shaky breath. “Good. Just like that.” You motion for her to follow your breathing inverals, and she copies you, hands still shaking in yours.

It’s been a while since you’ve had to deal with something like this, but you’re thankful for having similar life experiences. After a solid minute or two of this her breathing is back to a normal pace, but she’s still crying, and now not meeting your eyes. Almost like she’s avoiding them.

“Look, I.. I don’t know what happened with you and the diamonds, but you can talk to me about it if you’d like. No pressure, though.” You give her hands a small squeeze, and she whimpers, looking up to meet your gaze. Tears are still actively streaming down her face, and you have no idea how to make any of this better. It physically hurts you to see her like this.

“C-can I not talk about it? I don’t think I’m ready..” She pulls a hand from yours, and wipes at her face. She just kind of smeared half of her face with wetness, and she looks miserable.

“You don’t have to talk about anything, Spinel.” You look at her, making sure she sees it in your eyes. You slowly let go of her other hand, and hold your arms out in a silent question instead. Her mouth opens slightly, the red glow of the light around her making her look extremely vulnerable and soft, and she looks at your open arms with a blank face for a moment before understanding. Almost instantaneously, she throws herself against you and wraps her arms around your shoulders, shoving her face into the cradle of your neck. You envelop your arms around her tightly, giving her sides a squeeze, and you feel her start to shake again.

She lets out an unsteady sigh, and hiccups out another small sob. You pull her to lean fully against you as you stand there, bracing your back against the bathroom door. She lets you maneuver her, and you rest the side of your face against her temple while she cries. You resign yourself to letting her cry on you until she’s done, if she needs to.

You feel her sniffle against your neck, and try not to mind that she’s getting your shirt soaked. You give her back a few gentle rubs, feeling her body quiver against yours as she’s trying to control her choked breathing. You’re not really counting the minutes, as right now you’re currently having way too many rampant thoughts about what the fuck the diamonds could’ve said to her. You’re mad as hell, honestly, and if you could say shit to them, you would in a heartbeat. You don’t want to make anything worse for her though, as much as you want to steal her phone and video call them to curse them out. It takes a few more minutes, but eventually her crying dies down, and you feel her breathing even out. Slowly, she dislodges her arms from twisting around you two, and you feel a sigh, her breath hot against your neck. You do your best to school your facial expression as you’re realize just how close you are to her, and she pulls her face from its resting position to look at you. She looks awful.

“U-um,” She lifts up her hand to attempt to wipe her face, failing to rub half the tears away. “I don’t really want to go out there yet..”

“You don’t have to.” You say, quietly. “I can leave if you’d like some quiet to yourself.” Her face looks panicked for a second, and she grabs your wrist.

“Please don’t leave me.” She says, voice wavering again. You try not to let your heart shatter at her tone.

“I won’t if you want me here.” You say, and sigh softly. “Here, hold on a second.”

She lets your wrist go as you move slightly over to the sink, turn the hot water on, and grab a clean hand towel from the counter. You soak it in water, and squeeze out all the excess. Towel in hand, you turn back to her, and she’s looking at you cautiously. You lift the towel slightly, motioning to her face.

“May I?” You ask, and she nods slightly.

Tenderly, you brush a couple strands of hair away from her face, grasp her chin with your left hand and pull her forward, gently pressing the towel to her cheek. She closes her eyes, and her shoulders sag a little as she lets you dab at her face, cleaning her of any tear stain marks. She sighs into your touch, and it strikes you that it would be so easy to just.. lean in and kiss her.

Your brain almost short circuits and you snap your thoughts back to reality. There’s a time and place for everything. This is not the time, nor the place.

Once you’re satisfied that she looks a lot better than before, you pull your hands away to toss the rag in the sink, and Spinel, for a brief moment, looks disappointed that you had stopped. Which.. kind of gives you an idea.

“Can I try something? Harper used to do this thing with me when I.. had similar breakdowns.” You ask her. She raises her eyebrow in response, clearly exhausted from crying so much. “Here.” You say, and take her hand and lead her over to the rim of the bathtub. You sit down on the edge, and motion for her to sit in front of you on the floor. She takes a seat in front of you, still confused, but obeys nonetheless. “Can I touch you?” You ask her, watching her face to make sure she’s alright.

She looks up at you, the red light in the room flooding the entirety of her face, making her hair darker, and the whites of her eyes a bit more dramatic.

“Yeah.” She says in reply, voice tired.

You reach out to her hair, and stop for a moment.

“Can I have you face the other direction, actually? Come over here.” You move to open your knees, making enough room for Spinel to turn around and lean against the bathtub. She’s close to you again.

“What are you..” She trails off as you start to take the hair ties out of her pigtails, one after the other. It takes a second, as it’s a bit tangled, but you manage to get both out, and let her hair fall down. You comb out her hair with your fingers, gently, and she sighs audibly while leaning into your touch. You run your short nails along her scalp, scratching and massaging as you smooth out her hair, attempting to pull all the tangles out.

“Touch used to calm me down, and Harper was really good at it, honestly.” You say while pulling out a particularly difficult tangle without hurting her. Her hair is long like this, and you like it. You wish you could grow your hair this long, but it’s kind of a pain to deal with, and the longest you’ve ever had yours wasn’t even to your mid back, you think to yourself. “Sometimes she’d give me shoulder and neck massages, but I preferred that she’d just play with my hair. There’s just something different about another person touching your hair.”

“I kind of get what you mean.” She says, tiredly.

“Can I braid your hair?” You lean closer to look at her face.

“Do what you want.” She says, looking fairly relaxed.

“Cool. Anyway, while Harper was good at that, Alex, on the other hand, was just terrible at any kind of physical comfort. He’s genuine, and he tries, but he’s an idiot. He’s a lot better at distractions, for the most part.” You run your fingers through her hair one more time, before starting to separate her hair into three parts for a french braid. “He’s funny, and comes from a large family, so he always has stories and jokes. Whenever I’d have a panic attack, those two were always so good about being there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

You notice that Spinel‘s shoulders have lost most of the tension in them, and you’re secretly relieved. You keep talking to fill the quietness around you two, because you’ve always hated the quiet during moments like these. Your friends aren’t here, so it’s up to you to make up for it.

“It was kind of hard, at first though,” You say, and start looping the chunks of hair around your fingers, starting at the top of her head. “Because for a while there, back when I was 16 and dealing with the worst of my abandonment issues, I clung onto Harper like a baby koala. I had this super weird crush on her even though we had been friends since we were practically babies. I think I idolized her because she was just.. good to me.” You accidentally tug a little too hard on a strand of hair, wince and utter an apology while massaging the spot on her scalp. “I’m glad that didn’t ruin our friendship, but for a while there I really pushed my feelings onto her, which was kinda fucked up on my part.”

“Hm..” Spinel mumbles. “I kind of had a thing for Pink, I think. Which ended up screwing with me even more after what she did.” You stare at the back of her head and pause your hands for a second. Huh. Yeah, you had a hunch.

“If she were still alive, I’d punch her in the face for you, I hope you know.” You state, in full seriousness. This gets the first chuckle that you’ve heard from her today, and you’re secretly overjoyed.

“I’d pay to watch that.” She says, and you laugh out loud. You see her smile, just barely.

“So,” You continue, with both your hands and conversation. “A week or so after my 17th birthday, right after Harper talked to me about this guy at school that she liked, I confess to her. And not like a, ‘oh hey, you’re my best friend and I really like you’ kind of way, either. It was more like a, ‘have a mental breakdown over your best friend liking someone else and make them feel like shit about it on your walk home from school’ kind of confession.” Your hands reach the nape of her neck now, braid mostly done on her head, but you’ve got around another 20 inches of length before being finished.

“Harper avoided me for nearly a week after that. I was absolutely pathetic, and inconsolable. Alex was fed up with my shit after a few days, and nearly slapped me over it. He would’ve been in the right, doing so, honestly. I was a selfish asshole who only thought about her own feelings, and not about her best friends.” Your eyes drift to Spinel’s face, and her eyes are closed, eyebrows unfurrowed.

“Anyway,” You’re nearly done with the entire braid now. “She did end up forgiving me. Thankfully. I don’t know what I’d do if it were my fault that I’d split up our friend group.” You pick up the discarded hair tie from earlier, and tie it around the end of the braid.

“I’m all done, by the way.” You say to her. She opens her eyes tentatively, and she looks sleepy. You stand up, and stretch your back. She also gets up on wobbly legs, and turns to look at you.

“Um.” She’s avoiding your eyes. “Thank you. For this.” She’s twisting her hands together, nervously. You lean your face closer to get at eye-level with her.

“Anytime.. and for the record, you look really cute in a braid.” You say and smile, giving her a cheeky wink. You watch her entire face from the neck up turn bright red, and think that you could probably do this forever, and never get tired. She gives you a noncommittal grunt, halfheartedly smacks your arm and you grin at her.

You hear a quiet knock at the door, and look over to Spinel. She shrugs, so I guess it’s okay now.

“You can come in!” You say to the door. It opens slowly, and you see Steven peek his head in.

“Um.. are we okay?” He asks, clearly very worried about her.

“I’ll be okay.” She says, and you think that maybe she should lay down and sleep. You verbalize this immediately.

“Spinel. I think you should go take a nap.” You look at her, and she blinks at you. “I’m serious.”

“She’s kind of right.” Steven says in agreement with you. Spinel gives the both of you a shrug, and even that seems like it’s taking a lot out of her.

“Okay.” She says, and turns to walk out of the bathroom. Steven opens the door wider, and you can see Pearl in the kitchen leaning against the counter, trying to not seem like she’s intently watching all of you.

Spinel makes her way over to the couch and takes a seat, sitting up rigidly. You walk over to her to make sure she’s okay before you leave for home.

“You know you can text me, right? And if you need me, I’ll be available. I’ll leave my volume turned on.” She gives you a nod. “Oh, and.. take this,” You say, and pull off the pullover hoodie you’re wearing right now, and hand it over to her. “Alex used to let me wear his oversized sweaters, and they used to help me sleep, so..”

She tentatively reaches out, and takes it from your hands.

“Thanks.” She says, and gives you a small smile. With her hair pulled back like this she almost looks human, for a fleeting moment. You sometimes forget she’s a gem. You return the smile back at her, and turn around to leave.

After grabbing your bag that you set down earlier from beside the couch, you head over to the front door and open it. Shouldering the bag, you start to shut the door and see Steven behind you. He closes the door behind him, his face searching yours for something you don’t quite know.

“I don’t know what you did, but thank you.” He says, completely genuine.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’d do it for you, too, you know.” You say to him, and he smiles.

“That’s why I like you, Y/N. You’re sweet.”

“Yeahhhh, don’t tell anyone, though. You’ll ruin my reputation.” You smirk, giving him the side-eye. He laughs and pats your back.

“Ohhhhhh no! Whatever will you do!?” He rolls his eyes in jest. “Get home safe, okay?”

“No promises.” You reply, and jump down his steps, two at a time.

It doesn’t take you long to get home, and you’re pretty tired yourself. You make yourself busy by preparing dinner, cleaning the kitchen a little, and calling your dad for another check-in. Before you know it, it’s nearly 11, and you need to sleep for your double shift tomorrow that you almost forgot about. You’re laying in bed browsing social media before drifting off, and you receive a text from Spinel. You swipe down and open the message.

Spinel: Thanks again for today.

Spinel: I baked some new cookies with Steven, and would like to give you some tomorrow if that’s okay?

You smile to yourself. Ughhhhhhhh, you’re catching the feelings disease, and you swat the air around you like it somehow physically manifested around you.

Y/N: I work literally all day, but feel free to stop by and give them to me.

Y/N: Then I get to see a pretty familiar face to break up all the lame tourists.

Y/N: Cuz that sounds super nice. ;)

Spinel: I’ll see you tomorrow, then.

She didn’t react to your obvious teasing, but you won’t let that discourage you. You fall asleep thinking of the many different ways you can poke fun at her, and this time, you charge your phone.

You wake up the next morning feeling well-rested for once, and get ready for work. Alex has sent you a couple texts about when his flight will arrive, and when he’ll roughly come to meet you. Sometime around 4pm, apparently. You shoot Spinel a good morning text, and she replies almost instantly with the same, which makes you smile.

You head to work, texting your group chat about what happened yesterday with Spinel, and give them basically all the details. Alex makes fun of you for a bit, so you curse him out and pocket your phone as you clock in. Today’s going to suck, but you’ve got a few things to look forward to.

You make it a couple hours into your shift before you finally get a break, and Spinel texts you that she’ll drop by sometime in the afternoon once she’s done helping Bismuth with something. God you hope it’s not when Alex gets here, because you are so not fucking ready for that interaction. You eat your lunch and pray to any god out there that you could have one more day of peace.

You’re outside the main building repairing a couple parts on the carousel, ignoring the bulk of the tourists to focus on work. You don’t realize that quite a while has passed by, because someone walks up to you as you’ve got your head in a small door, and kicks you slightly on your ass. You jolt and bump your head against the opening, and you hear Alex burst out into laughter as you groan in pain.

God fucking dammit, this guy. You pull your head out to glare at him, screwdriver pointing at him threateningly.

“Do you want this up your ass? Because I can do that.” You say to him, and he laughs even harder. You roll your eyes at him.

“Don’t promise me with a good time, Y/N.” He says, and you stand up to smack him.

“I don’t think the pointy end would be a good time, idiot.” You deadpan stare at him. He grins.

“You don’t know what I’m into.” He shrugs, and flips his hair dramatically. You hate that he’s stupid and charming, and you love him so much.

“I know I haven’t seen you in 2 months, but like, I feel like you’ve grown taller?” You stare at him, a little mournfully. You’re the shortest one out of your friends, and you’re of average height. He also seems.. handsomer. You think he definitely got a lot more tan. He’s definitely grown into his looks, his dark curly hair and recently shaved face making him look older than you’re used to.

“I don’t think I did, but I think you’ve grown shorter.” He laughs obnoxiously, and you smack his arm again, which makes him laugh harder.

“You’re so mean to me, like all the time. Why do I love you?” You cross your arms and pout, because you know it gets a rise out of him.

“Youuuuuuu knowww, because I’m just so loveable and gorgeous and the smartest one in the group??” He flutters his eyelashes at you like he thinks he’s cute.

“Wow, you are none of these things.” You reply, smirking at him. He puts his hand over his heart in mock offense.

“Y/N, I’m offended. I’ve been here for like, five minutes, and I’ve received absolutely no affection from you. If I don’t get love, I will wilt and die. Do you want to be responsible for my death?” He opens his arms wide, and you roll your eyes dramatically, and stand there.

“We’re not doing this in public.” You say, standing your ground.

“Ohhh, YES we are, Y/N.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Prepare yourself for the onslaught.”

You take a couple steps back, prepared to run. He grabs your arms, wraps his around your torso, and picks you up, swinging you around.

“Nooooooooooooooooo!!” You cry. “Put me down you oaf!”

“No! I want love!” He all but shouts, and spins you around. He grabs your cheek with one hand and starts giving you big ‘ol smooches all over your face, and you’re giggling and trying to push him away, when you hear something drop and spill on the pavement a good twenty feet from you. You look up.

It’s Spinel.

Her face is twisted with heartbreak, and before you can even speak up, she bolts.

You look down, and see the cookies she made you scattered on the ground.

#spinel x reader #spinel #su #steven universe #spinel self insert #fic #my fic #devils ballroom #look. im not sorry yall. i promise next chapter youll get what u want LMFAO

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chngbok · 5 years

Photo

I hit 2k a while ago now 2.2k im terrible and I never said thank you!! I didn’t want to open requests again as I’m terrible with following through on them so!! I settled with saying thank you to those who I’ve really come to appreciate + love ♥

@linos-teeth

someone who words just don't do justice (teeth fetishist might work). you’ve been there longer than anyone and followed me through my many many different phases + blogs and that was all thanks for dai fucking up just a little bit (the one time I’ll thank a buggy game Bioware I owe you my life). you’re there for me whenever I wanna talk about shit, be it me complaining or me ranting (and more complaining) OR us taking a stupid one-liner from woojin and turning it into a 50 chapter long fic that’s 6 months old now!! we built a little home on discord with our all too fancy server for just the two of us, but dude your my best friend and I love you + all the weird shit that happens + all the fucking things we’ve made together. you’ve seen me at my worst and you were there when I lost others so,,, I know I say it a lot but!! I love you!! you’re my world and you meana lot to me!! you’re my best browse ~

@changbiinnbutspookier

Kirra, my idiot, my bitch, my rat, my Minecraft girlfriend. you’re an absolute dick but you mean well. You’ve made me laugh a whole lot and that means a lot because I’m normally alone a lot of the time,,, but calling with u almost all summer (literally) was amazing + we were talking most of the day and it gave me a lot to do and we fucking watched ooos which,,, im still getting over btw + that just,,,,,,,,,,, was a fuck fest tbh. You’re silly and fun but you’re also super good at? expressing ur words,,, n u know when to be serious and u care a whole lot about a bunch of things and u take 0 shit from people and all that's really good and cool and just? you’re a very like,,,, functional idiot who I love a lot ok. and I know i legit never say it bc 1) u don't give me a chance with all fo the kissy noises and 2) Im a shit friend and scared to say that stuff out loud but!! I do!! i cherish you a lot and you made me really happy this summer so!! thank you.

@hauntedfelix

luna!! my angel!!!! you are a literal guardian angel please dont fight me on this for once. It’s really? shocking to see how close we’ve gotten so quickly and I don't know,,, I know im a pretty open person but you’re one of the easiest people to talk to. you’ve let me talk about shit and it’s helped a lot and we have a lot of fun + ur really cute >:c *ok the rest of this is written after the thing oops* but!! to continue,,, u know how much u mean to me now lmao. you always keep me thinking ‘straight’ + know when to tell me that I’m being a lil stupid + u just have all these cute lil things u do!! (like ur folder of me being stupid,,,, cute shit) I’ve said a lot to you recently s o i dont wanna start sounding to repetative and I DO NOT wanna count how many times i said cute just now i d k. but you’re my shining star 🌙🧡☀️👭 you mean a lot to me and I’m glad we have eachother.

@glowsvt

Grace!! my sweet starlight, the nations wonderful, caring and ‘patient’, gaurdian angel. now I’m really shit with words compared to you,, it’s pretty obvious looking at this post,,, so I’m sorry for not being able to express how I feel very well!! but!! you!!! are so damn sweet and supportive. You have so much love to give and I’m just happy that I can be around to see and receive some of it. you have such a way with words and its really nice to see that you use them in such wonderful ways. You take every chance you get to make someone feel better and you’re always there for me when I’m pissed or in need of cheering up. You’re such a thoughtful person and I only wish you’d see, that you too, are worthy of all that you give out. You’re even willing to help me with my korean which is really really nice as I’m super slow to learn (oops) but!! u just want to do the best for everyone you love n thats super nice to see!! I love u a whole lot ok!! you’re amazing.

and also thank you to my other friends that I dont speak to as much as I’d like to!! @littlefallenrebel Sophie, it’s almost been a year since we’ve been friends and thats legit crazy. You were one of the first friends I made when starting to make gifs and all that so thank you for putting up with me this long. You’re really good with your art, even if u dont see that!! + I’ll never get over the changbin u did for my birthday. You’re funny + have a thing for small rappers + ur the kindest when it comes to letting me spill things so thank u!. @seungjin-chan Blake!! my writer friend,,,, I seriously admire your writing (apart from the unreadable chapter in cherry and peter + but I KNOW THATS STILL WELL WRITTEN FROM FRIENDS OK) u rly try so much with your writing and seeing u doubt urself is SILLY bc UR AN AMAZING WRITER and all ur aus are so creative and cute + all the little details are amazing.... also ur reaction memes are iconic and I always know what you’ll react to me stupidity with + u always wanna hear about my aus which like!! thank u ur my outlet + spoiler partner SKU GUYS @hoodiehan @00hj @kkvmi + @glowsvt , @hauntedfelix again!! u guys!! u make keeping up with skz + the great anons fun. you all do so much work and I’m really glad that Stay have u guys doing the most for them!! even with how busy u all are + everyone on sku that I dont talk to as much (you all do the best and it’s again, wonderful to see u all helping stay + trying to help with how chaotic skz are)

and now!! (it’s almost over I promise) a tiny follow forever.

NATRUALLY!! everyone already mentioned!! + (I’ll only do the skz blogs I follow + love a whole lot :c )

@realstraykids @devilhan @arqueritefrost @hanjisungz @mirror-mv @ifbin @skzleton @seungminsmile @bhubblemilk @abcdskz @seoschangbin @vampirewoojinnie @bamgchan @kittylixie @skzulls @chimneycloud @stray-kids @bellzy-loves-skz @hauntjin @prodskz

#this took #8 days #bc im terrible with words #and I hope im not missing anyone out!!#I know that I've drifted apart from some people #but I do really appreciate everyone who ive spoken to #uve all made me happy at some point and for that I say thank u!!#Stay tumblr has done a lot for me and it's a lot more social then my old fandoms on here #so again!!#thank u for 2(.2)k #I'll keep making gifs and annoying text posts for a while longer #thank u #amber.txt #follow forever #followers milestone #sorry for any mistakes!!#hope no one minds being mentioned either!!

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niflim · 4 years

Text

@healimals said: Hyun joon vc : im here with gil now read me a bedtime story

the full thing as narrated by s///amuel l. j///ackson

“ ... okay, take a seat. ” he had been half - kidding when he’d said it, but if he was going to make money just for telling a dumb story, then he was gonna tell the damn story and settle up.

it’s a well - worn book that he pulled from absolutely nowhere --- an acquired dad skill, perhaps ? --- as he settled into a chair and propped his feet up on the table. immediately thereafter, at tifa’s shout that this “ wasn’t his office and people eat at these tables ”, he returned his boots to the ground and just gestured for this stranger to pull their chair over with a roll of his eyes. fine, tifa, he’ll behave. might not keep him from running away again, though.

the man cleared his throat, quite like a father would, and carefully opened it. he didn’t really know why he’d chosen the bar of all places for a bedtime story --- but it was his money.

“ the cats nestle close to their kittens, the lambs have laid down with the sheep. you are cozy and warm in your bed, my dear. please go the fuck to sleep. ”

he paused there, mako blue - green hues checking the listener’s attentiveness, and finding that, of course, they were still wide awake. it wasn’t like the first few lines were ever enough.

“ the windows are dark in the town, child. the whales huddle down in the deep. i'll read you one very last book if you swear you'll go the fuck to sleep. ”

and, yes, i could be a responsible mun and ensure that you all witness with excruciating detail the way in which cloud drones through this tale with all the enthusiasm of, you guessed it, a tired as fucking shit father, but i will not. because i will only go so far for a meme. and if y’all expected seriousness from me ... then i am sorry.

so, naturally, dear cloud carried on through the five stages of grief as the tale did nothing to put the other to sleep and only reinforced every insecurity that had wormed its way under his skin over the years. it wasn’t as if the other was actually his child and, yet, cloud found himself dreading each line he ground out like it was den’s and marls’ judgement he was facing.

was this amusing ? was this a joke ? had this all been a ploy to experience the pain of a father, lain bare for the entire world to see ? it must’ve been. he should’ve known that a tale wouldn’t put someone fully grown to sleep under these circumstances. but, then again, the job was to just tell the tale. not put him to sleep.

he wanted the story to be over.

and once he reached that final line, it was such a cathartic release.

“ we're finally watching our movie. popcorn's in the microwave: "beep!" oh shit, goddamn it, you've got to be kidding. go the fuck back to sleep ! ”

this wave of emotion, this passion --- from where it came, cloud did not know. all he could presume was that it came from something sad and lonely and insecure and exhausted within him. he’d practically shouted ! just as the book had said ! oh, what a joy it was to follow basic punctuation guidelines ! if he’d not felt so humiliated, maybe he would’ve felt ... whelmed.

cloud stood, took the acquired gil from his customer, and gave him one hard look before going to see if his little, lovable shits were tucked in.

“ seriously, though, go the fuck to sleep. ”

#* crack.#healimals #* ask.#[ dmkasmdksmd i have a serious ask coming i just ]#[ i had to drop everything for this ]#long post //

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nix-that-rad-lass · 4 years

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I’m a gender nonconforming female (17) and I feel extremely insecure and isolated about that. For a while I thought I was trans before becoming a radfem. I struggle with feeling broken and ashamed of not living up to femininity. I rarely if ever see other masculine women on TV or social media. It’s very isolating. Any tips on how to improve my confidence in this area and accept myself?

itI get that. I’m really sorry you have to deal with this- it’s a very difficult thing.

There’s a lot of different routes you can take- i’ll brainstorm a few, so you can get an idea. if you would like to/are comfortable with, feel free to send me a DM.

first things first, having a safe, friendly community of people like you can help you grow so much quicker. i know there are quite a few different radfem discord servers- including ones catering to certain hobbies, some are for minors/youth, others for lesbians, etc. i think there is also one for desisted/detrans/dysphoric gc/radfems

aside from finding a community that can act as a support system...

for some, viewing yourself in the eyes of someone else can help you realize that you deserve the same empathy, kindness, love, and acceptance that you already offer to those around you.

others may prefer to make up a mantra, or use a coping mechanism to help stop negative thoughts- its a good starting point for getting out of a negative headspace and into a neutral one, but it is just a starting point.

picking up new hobbies can help serve as a distraction- sometimes it is good to take a break and let yourself settle into a comfortable routine before making a big or significant change.

i dont know your situation in life, or what else you may be dealing with- but no matter what, you should know that there is always someone out here that believes in you, someone that hopes you’ll believe in yourself too.

helping others is a good way to help yourself. learning new things, too.

take a step back and reconnect with nature, spirituality, family/friends, history- anything that can get you out of a negative space and into a neutral, or positive one.

so, that was my attempt at giving advice in a normal or mature ish manner. heres what i would say to some of my friends-

- Learn how to just. not give a fuck. its liberating - as Iroh once said- “While it is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing” - project yourself and what youre going through onto someone you care about. pretty much impersonate your very own therapist. - disconnect from the world. if that means skipping a day of school, calling in sick to work, shutting down your internet for a day, or sitting in a bog and talking to frogs, then do it. - memes, netflix, and chocolate milk. also blankets, and a cuddly animal of your choosing.

what i personally like to do whenever im having trouble- with similar things or different to you- i go to my spot. i think the singular most important thing in healing, moving forward, and learning to love yourself is that you need someplace that is 100% yours. no one else is there, no one to yell or scream, no one to weigh you down or expect impossible things from you. nothing to take care of. just somewhere you can go and just let your mind enter a state of elevator music-esque trance. time away, time at your pace, on your terms, doing what you want? that, in my opinion, is a big part of loving yourself.

tldr: if you can, find a group of likeminded individuals that can be your friendly safety net. pick up hobbies or continue those you already have. be kind to others and try to extend that kindness to yourself. make a space all your own, somewhere you can escape to that 1) no one else knows and 2) that is safe, and comfortable for you.

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years

Text

title: mouth breather

pairings: moxiety, logince is mentioned

summary: (punk!patton au; this story happens simultaneously to weak spot) virgil and patton go ice skating.

warnings: food mention, mild injuries, swearing, homophobia, kissing, crying, anxiety, frustration at no one in particular, possibly something else

for the main story and all other additional content in this au, check out the masterlist!

read on ao3

a/n: i needed to feel better, so have some fluff. maybe next time i’ll write our final ship of the au. maybe.

tag list: @residentanchor @eeveeawesome @xionical @absolutesandersidestrash @stormcrawler75 @musikasworld @ironwoman359 @a-weirdo-with-a-computer @thegaypotatoroyalty707 @darkrainbow333 @ravenclawunicorn1 @noahlovescoffee @whymustibedraggedintofandomhell @romansleftshoulderpad @still-waiting-for-cookies @emounicorn2006 @lana–22 @angels-ofthe-sea @demonickittykat @lonelysoul43 @the-virgil-mary @five-second-cookies @noisywolfbatbakery @band-be-boss-blog @heck-im-lost @lamp-calm-sanders @patton-e @knightofbloodcancer @cloudchaser7 @really-sleep-deprived-nerd @era-eclipsed @khadij-al-kubra @anxiousmorality @are-you-really-sure-about-that @today-only-happens-once @notalwaysthevillian @backatthebein @sunshineandteddybears @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn @dodos-in-damnation @some-lost-meme-boi @dead4sevenyears @spookyingarbageisland @the-poison-apple-of-art @radioactivehelena @the-melody-of-eliza @im-a-mess-aaaaaa @whycantihavemorethan32characters @broadwaytheanimatedseries @veryvirginvirgil @llamaavocado @unisaurioamorfo @caterpiller-tea @cornycornfriendo @simon-at-3am @calico-kiri

Patton was so, so lucky that he had been able to slap his hand over Virgil’s mouth before the inevitable screech. All he had said was that he’d never been ice skating before, yet Virgil acted as if it was a crime against humanity. He hadn’t done a lot of things before. He grew up in an orphanage. It wasn’t as if they had tons of money to take a few dozen kids to an ice skating rink.

“Mmmmnnnnf!” Virgil whined, and Patton finally pulled his hand away. “That’s awful! We have to go ice skating right now!”

“It--shit, slow down! It isn’t that big of a deal, Virge. Really.”

“Too bad. Don’t care,” was all Virgil said as he pushed his boyfriend out of the mall and towards the car. “Change of date plans. It happens.”

Patton sighed and resigned himself to going along with whatever plans Virgil had already decided on. They quietly sang along to the songs on the radio as they drove down the highway, which made Virgil smile. It always made Virgil smile when Patton would do things that he’d been afraid to do when they’d first met. Pat thought it was stupid and cheesy, but he supposed that he could let his boyfriend be stupid and cheesy if he so desired. It was cute, anyway.

“Virgil?” Patton asked a few minutes later.

“Yeah?”

“Why are we at the library?”

Virgil turned off the car and smiled wide. “Outdoor ice rink!” Patton slow blinked. “It’ll be fun. Promise.”

“Yeah? And what if it isn’t?”

“Then we can go on whatever date you want next week.”

“Deal,” Patton said as he stepped out of the car, and Virgil rushed to follow, only stopping to grab the extra hats and pairs of mittens that he kept in the trunk for emergencies.

The next few minutes were spent renting skates and struggling to put them on before they took to the ice. At first, they were both wobbly on their feet from not being used to the slippery surface, but Patton managed to find his balance quickly.

“You know what? This is pretty fun!” Patton spun around and skated backwards, grinning.

Virgil, on the other hand, was clinging to the side railing and glaring at the little children who were gliding past as if skating was the easiest thing on earth. “Told you s--AH!” Patton shot out as Virgil’s feet slipped out from under him, managing to catch the falling boy just before his head hit the ground.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m alright,” Virgil huffed. “I really wanted to be good at this so we could like be all cute while skating and stuff.”

Patton smiled. “That’s really dumb, but it’s also super sweet.” He managed to get them back onto their feet and held Virgil’s hand. “If you start to feel like you’re going to fall, pull on my hand, and I’ll pull you closer, alright?”

“Alright.”

They skated for about thirty more minutes before Virgil whined about getting hot chocolate at the concession stand. He’d fallen a fair few times even with the help of Patton, and he was cold and a little bit damp from the ice, so they exited the rink and headed to the area of benches.

“They said there were only a few hot chocolate packets left, so I got you one and a coffee for myself,” Patton murmured as he handed over one of the paper cups and sat down. “It’s really hot. Wait for it to cool a bit, or you’ll burn the hell out of your tongue.”

“Aw, you’re such a sweetheart!” Virgil giggled, pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss.

“Um,” a different voice said. “Excuse me, young men?”

Both boys looked over in tandem at the mother standing in front of them. She looked uncomfortable, and that was only confirmed when she spoke again.

“It’s not appropriate for you two to be doing that around the kids, so I would very much appreciate it if you stopped or went somewhere else.”

Patton made a move to stand up, but he was swiftly pushed back down by Virgil, who stood instead.

“You know what?” Virgil spat. “I’m sick and tired of people like you trying to dictate what I do. If I want to kiss my boyfriend, you’d better believe that I’m not going to let some middle aged white mom stop me. Congratulations, ma’am! I don’t care about what you said.” To really accentuate his words, Virgil grabbed Patton by the shirt collar and tugged him upright, making direct eye contact with the woman for a moment before kissing Patton again. He heard an indignant huff from the woman, but he didn’t pull away until he heard her footsteps retreating.

“Oh my god,” Patton whispered. “Oh my god! I thought you were going to punch her! I mean, I was about to, but I thought that you were going to!”

Virgil wrapped his arms around himself and scrunched up his face. “I... Can we go home?”

“Yeah, honey. We’ll go home.”

It was silent the entire drive to Patton and Logan’s house, and it was silent until after Virgil had changed into dry clothes--save for the short conversation with Logan and Roman when they’d made fun of the adults for finally admitting their feelings. It wasn’t until they had settled close together on Patton’s bed that they really spoke.

“I’m sorry--” Virgil mumbled into Patton’s chest-- “for what happened at the skating rink. I wanted to have a nice night with you, and then I got all upset and wanted to leave.”

“It wasn’t your fault. That lady was a bitch.”

“But--”

“No,” Patton interjected, leaning away just enough that he could see Virgil. “I had so much fun tonight, okay? And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. I got to hold your hand and hug you and be vulnerable with you in public, and I didn’t feel like I had to hide anything for the first time in a really long time. And when you stood up to that lady... Man, I thought you were going to kick her ass.

“What I’m trying to say is that I couldn’t have asked for a better date night, and I certainly wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone but you. I swear on that stupid cat hoodie you gave me.”

Virgil opened his mouth to speak, but he ended up bursting into tears.

“Oh, shit. Forget I said anything. Shit--Here, it’s okay. Damn it--”

“I love you so much.”

“I... love you, too.”

“Good,” Virgil choked out between attempts to breathe. “Because I totally bitched at that lady earlier for you, and I’d be pissed if you didn’t reciprocate my feelings”

Patton pulled Virgil close and stroked his hair. He kept his repetitive, slow motions going until Virgil’s breathing completely evened out and the emotional toll of the evening finally caught up to him through sleep. With a loving sigh, Patton tugged the covers over his boyfriend’s small frame and allowed himself to drift to sleep as well.

#sanders sides fic #m writes things #moxiety #punk!patton au

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