Me: *typeity type type* grumble grumble

Wife: what’s wrong?

Me: tumblr ate a draft again. I have to rewrite a couple thousand words.

W: oh I’m so sorry tha- YOU’RE WRITING IN TUMBLR INSTEAD OF JUST PASTING FROM AN APP?

M: uh…yes?

W: how many times has Tumblr ate a draft now?

Me: only… three or four times

W: THREE OR FOUR? HON. WRITE IN A WRITING APP.

oh to be a muse...

I once saw a quote saying “to be written. to be the subject of a poetry. oh, to be loved by a writer”. I find it endearing and amusing for someone as I who writes but has not been written for. It made me think of who I am writing for and what of it that I am writing to them still now.

So I wrote, scrambled some words I might say to satisfy my amusing with the quote and I say:

“To be my muse means to be someone who is courageous enough to break my brittle heart, to dance and stomp all over it 'til those pieces make something so bright and so beautiful like broken glasses pieced together making a wonderful composition; or someone undeniably handsome enough to stir my mind, wooing me with the words his lips utter—bewitching me; or perhaps someone ordinarily pursuing me with best foot forward and all the love a person can offer that it would be unfair to not give back the same amount of love for I cannot love so much even for myself.

However it is that a man must do, surely I could write something about them; but to be both someone I love and be my muse, is extraordinary for I will exude my greatest skill and passion for writing—all because there is a man worthy of the thoughts I throw onto the paper, all because there is someone I truly wish to give my all even if all I left with are just words…”

They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven't had your "third" death. You decide to find out why.

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

Some writers: *meticulously plan out every plot point and the tone and meanings before they start writing*

Me:

Always the writer, never the reader.

Random writing thought: the best stories are often the ones that only you could have written — but also the ones that you could only write at this one moment.

I couldn't write All the Birds in the Sky from scratch now if I tried. But the me of 2013 couldn't have written The Prodigal Mother either.

“I was thinking of a way to hurt myself, not knowing loving you alone will be enough to destroy all of what I've become”

— 10th of October, 2021

kicking a hornets nest.

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.