i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

Ranting about how JP is not a good critique of capitalism made me want to talk about a sci-fi monster movie that is an excellent AND highly relevant exploration of anticapitalistic themes: Alien (1979).

First I want to say that if you haven’t seen Alien, please do so before I spoil it for you. It’s not just one of my all time favourites, but also one of the greatest pieces of science fiction ever created. For real, please go watch it.

The biological aspects of Alien are often the most talked about themes in the movie, which is fair, because they’re simultaneously very interesting and in-your-face. Most viewers remember the movie for the gory sexual imagery, not for an authentic depiction of class struggle. I actually wrote a video essay a while back that I never made about how our innate disgust and resulting fear of parasites/parasitoids is the primary driver behind the xenomorph’s ongoing popularity. I’m not immune to this aspect of Alien’s eternal intrigue, that’s for sure.

However, there’s one narrative element that makes Alien ripe for class analysis, especially today, and that is the film’s portrayal of artificial intelligence.

AI in Alien is consistently shown to be hostile to the crew, but not because of a glitch, like HAL in 2001: Space Odyssey, or because they decide to rise up against their oppressors, like in Terminator. No, what makes Ash, the android, and MOTHER, the ship’s AI, so threatening is that they are doing exactly what they were programmed to do — whatever it takes to ensure corporate interests. In this case, they are programmed to ensure the survival of an extraterrestrial monster at the cost of the crew.

The audience isn’t privy to all the things that Ash does to meet this goal, but at the very least he breaks quarantine protocols, does a shitty job of watching the facehugger, lets Kane join the rest of the crew for a meal (when they still don’t know what it did to him!), plays dumb once the xenomorph is on the loose, and attempts to murder Ripley when she discovers his mandate. If it weren’t for Ripley being a determined badass, Ash might’ve gone unnoticed until the whole crew was dead and the Weyland-Yutani Corporation had their mitts on the alien so they can cause another catastrophe.

This horror, that you will encounter AI whose programming doesn’t care if you live or die, is what makes Alien’s take on the subject so relevant. Dipshits like Elon Musk or some shitty tech journalist might try and convince us that ChatGBT scary because it can fake being human, as if Skynet is right around the corner.

No, the real horror of AI is that the people in power (our bosses, our politicians, etc.) are going to use it to exploit us, just like how they use everything else.

In the end, it takes being skeptical of things that seem trustworthy for Ripley to defeat Ash. The audience finds out from the Nostromo’s captain, Dallas, that Ash was a last minute addition to the crew, as chief science officer. This is a role that inherently engenders trustworthiness in the face of the unknown, especially for a crew that is basically a bunch of working joes. It’s not unbelievable to conceive this was purposeful by Weyland-Yutani to make Ash above suspicion. That, combined with literally naming the ship’s AI MOTHER, of all things, shows that the company is deliberately weaponizing aesthetics to foster a positive relationship between the crew and their AI agents.

Alien serves as a reminder to be vigilant as we enter the AI boom, because these programs will be used to exploit us, and corporations WILL try to cloak this purpose behind relatability, convenience, and trust. The AI we encounter is more likely to be Ash or MOTHER than it is to be Data or Skynet.

Unlovable Child

Jenna Ortega x Autistic!Male!Reader

Warnings: Child abuse

2nd Person POV

"I'm going out of town for a week to see my parents" you tell Jenna. The two of you were snuggled up together on the couch, binge watching The Mandalorian on Disney+.

"Oh, do you want some company?" Jenna offered to which you shook your head no. Your parents wasn't exactly the gold standard when it comes to parenting, in fact they'd probably win an award as being one of the worst.

You've never discussed your parents with Jenna because of this, not wanting her to be involved with them due to their toxic nature. You feared that exposing them to her would only cause more trouble than its worth.

"You sure you don't want me to come with? I can--"

"No no you really don't have to" you said, cutting her off a little too quickly to go unnoticed. She gave you a look of suspicion, knowing there was likely some underlying tension between your parents and you.

You tried to put her at ease "I-I mean... they haven't seen me for a while... I wouldn't want to overwhelm them by introducing you to them... y'know given your fame and all. No offence"

Your stuttering and lack of a believable reason wasn't enough to ease Jenna's growing concern for you, but she smiled anyway, which in turn made you smile. You knew she wasn't convinced.

She pulled you in closer, making sure you were nestled into her chest. She had a feeling deep down that you were keeping something from; something terrible. Anxiousness flooded her nervous system, making her rethink about letting you go.

Her heartbeat quickened because of this, something you caught by having your head on her chest. "Jenna? Are you okay?" You asked.

She looked at you and smiled to put you at ease "Everything's fine, sweet boy. Everything's okay." She reassured, kissing your forehead to ease your worries.

But it wasn't her you were worried about, it was meeting your parents for the first time in years. The last time you spoke to your parents was 2 years prior, just before you moved out for your new job, just before you met Jenna for the first time. It didn't exactly end on the greatest of terms.

You parents were vile; abelists who took pleasure in calling you the most horrid of insults for their own sick pleasure. It made them feel better about themselves, like they were superior. They were never proud of you, even though your academics should make them so. They could never be proud of someone like you, someone who was autistic.

Of course, with many dysfunctional households come with their fair share of physical abuse, which in your case was fairly common place. The slightest of mistakes ended in severe punishment, that being knocking a drink over, talking to loudly .etc.

You were deemed a failure in the eyes of your parents despite everything you've accomplished in school, your well paying job; it meant nothing. You were never good enough for them. You were simply too much of a "spaz" to love. You were nothing to them, only when money was an issue were you of any use.

You held Jenna a little tighter just think about this. Painful memories from your past flashed through your mind, reminding you of the awful people they were.

But you maybe they had changed, maybe they realised the error of their ways, you naively thought to yourself, only setting yourself up for a meeting that would inevitably send you crashing down.

But you had to believe. "They have changed. Of course they changed, they only said and did all that stuff to make me into the man I am today. They love me. Don't they?"

- 1 day later

Jenna was on the phone with her director discussing filming dates. She was currently working multiple films at once and needed to negotiate dates so that it wouldn't impede on her schedule.

You always admired how she could do so many films at once, though, you wished she would take a break sometimes as it can tire her out.

Jenna's phone call was immediately interrupted by the sound of the door opening revealing your figure. "Mark I'm gonna have to call you back" she hangs up the phone, confused as to why you were back 6 days earlier than anticipated.

You were wearing sunglasses, unusual considering the weather outside was quite gloomy. Perhaps you just felt like wearing them, she thought to herself.

"Hi, baby boy." She kisses your cheek, but noticed that it looked awfully red and... swollen? "You're back early. Did everything go okay down there?" Jenna asked to which you nodded with a smile, albeit a dishonest smile.

"Yeah everything went great, just gad to cut the trip short because they were busy and stuff. My parents are busy people after all" you say in a somewhat cheery tone. The swollen part of your face was pulsing, as though the nerve endings in your face had been set alight.

Jenna continued to examine your face, still finding it strange that you haven't taken off your shades yet. "Wait, he wasn't even wearing shades when he left. Why was he wearing them now?" She thought, trying to ascertain the situation.

She noticed your hands were shaking; odd considering you were always calm around her most of the time and it wasn't cold indoors because of the heating. One of your arms was holding your stomach too.

All this information, combined with the fact that your back 6 days ahead of schedule is enough to tell Jenna that something was very very wrong.

"Hey babe can you take off those glasses for me? I wanna see those pretty eyes of yours." She asked sweetly, forceful was not the right approach. You looked at her, trying to strum up a lame excuse not to oblige.

"No!" He exclaims, catching Jenna off guard. You quickly try to come up with a better excuse. "I mean i-it's really bright in here Jenna, my eyes are kinda tired from driving, y'know" you play off terribly, adding a smile to try and convince otherwise.

Jenna isn't buying it, you know this. She's too smart. "Y/N your face is bright red, and swollen" His smile quickly drops. "Your hands are shaking too, and I can see a cut behind your hair. You and I both know it isn't cold in here and that cut is recent too." She exhales sadly, turning her attention too your stomach "You're holding you're stomach babe, like you're in pain. What happened over there?"

You panic, you knew she wasn't an idiot but you can't bare to let her find out about your parents, about your past. It was too embarrassing, she'd surely leave you for not being man enough to fight back. That what your father had conditioned you to believe, that you weren't a real man because of your condition, that you were sub-human.

"I-I d-dont--" "let me see your eyes, my love" bowing your head in defeat, you allowed Jenna to remove your shades, the sight horrified her, sending shivers down to the deepest depths of her soul. She gasped, her hands covering her mouth as you she saw the damage.

A massive purple bruise covered your right eye, the eye itself was completely red. The area around the eye was completely swollen too. The left eye was also bruised, not as bad but still bruised nonetheless.

Anger bubbled within Jenna, the prospect of someone hurting her baby was sickening to her, she knoew this had to be your parent's doing. "They did this to you, didn't they"

"W-what no! They would never do this to me. My family love me, Jenna. They do" you tried convince her, you tried to convince yourself mostly. Tears pricked at your eyes, stinging even more due to the beating you took.

"Honey... why would they do this to you? What happened?" She asked gently with a tinge of sadness in her tone. You couldn't keep up with the lie any longer.

You took a deep breath. You wanted to tell her what happened, tell her about the desperation you felt when your father's belt connected with your back. How your mother held you down as he did it, beating and beating and beating you for being the spaz who disappointed his parents just by looking at him. She held your hands "It's okay. It's just me. Just Jenna"

A single tear fell down your cheek causing Jenna to wipe it away. "They wanted money..." you started, taking a deep breath before continuing "They wanted money that were apparently "owed" for not getting rid of me. I said no, and I'm sure you can imagine how they reacted to that. They beat me, Jenna. They both did. I couldn't stop them, I tried as hard as I could but they kept..." you sniffled, holding back what would have been a giant sob.

"They kept pummelling me with the belt, punching me in the stomach. Mom held me down and I couldn't anything. They said I was unlovable... I'm unlovable, Jenna!" He broke down completely, falling onto his knees. Your emotions that you'd been holding since you left your parents had escaped, the dull pain now fresh again.

Jenna lifted the back of your shirt to find the purple lashes that layed there, where your father had taken out his anger with the belt. She immediately held you, her own eyes tearing up at your broken state. You clung to her like a lifeline.

"Shhhh, its okay baby. You're safe now. You're safe with me again." He whales in anguish and pain, his sobs became louder as each one left his mouth.

"Jen it hurts" you said like a scared child, exactly what you were at your parent's house.

Upon hearing this Jenna decided it was best for you to lay down on your side to avoid laying on your lashed back. "Come on, honey let's lay you on the couch. Lay on your side for me, my sweet." You did as instructed.

She lifted up your top to see the bruises on your stomach, purple and still fresh. She was going to annihilate your parents, but that comes later. "I'm gonna go get an ice pack, then we're taking you to the hospital"

"No! No! Please no doctors!" You pleaded

She knelt down and stroked your hair to out you at ease as best she could "Shh shh shh, don't think about that now okay. Let me go get an ice pack for your stomach. I'll be right back." She left quickly for the ice, returning as quickly as she left.

She lifted up your shirt and let you get ready for the ice. "On three. One. Two. Three." She presses the ice to your abdomen, the cooling sensation soothed the pain little by little bringing you great relief. "Good boy baby, you being so brave for me" she cooed, kissing the top of his head.

She held the ice pack as you writhed in pain on the couch. Her free hand alternates between rubbing your arm and combing through your hair. She placed little kisses on your swollen cheek, not hurting at all when she did.

The recollection of events that played in your mind caused you to cry again. Jenna brought your head into her neck as she held you close, her skin absorbing most of the tears. "Oh baby, please don't cry. You're not unlovable. You're my very beautiful boy who I love so very very much. They don't deserve you."

You held onto her tight, thinking how lucky you were to have such a wonderful woman in your life. Your parents would've definitely said you didn't deserve her, and maybe you didn't. But that didn't detract from how much you loved her, and appreciated her.

"I love you, Y/N. I love you with every fibre of my being" hearing this made you smile out of pure gratitude and love.

"I love you too, Jenna" you say, voice still wobbly from crying. You pulled your head from the crook of her neck and the two of you just smile at each other, you took in the beauty of her face while Jenna gazed upon your battered one. She pulls you in for a gentle kiss, a long kiss that you desperately needed.

"Bubs we do need to get your tummy looked at. We'll call my mom to have a look at you, but we may need to go to the hospital if it's bad. We can do all that tomorrow though, just rest in my arms for now. Can you do that for me?" You nodded your head "I won't let them get away with this Y/N. Mark my words they're finished."

You'd never seen Jenna this angry, but it brought a strange sense of reassurance, like everything was going to be okay. "Can we watch a movie? I wanna take my mind off of this"

"Of course we can, bubs. What do you wanna watch? Empire strikes back?" She asked, knowing how much you loved that movie. You nodded making her smile and kiss you again.

She layed down next to you, inviting you to curl up next to her and lay your head on her chest. "You're not unlovable, flower. You're a very loveable and amazing person." You smile at her words, Jenna loved you very much and today was evidence of that.

She cradles your body in her arms, still feeling you tremble from everything that has happened. It would be a long road to you heal from this but she'd be with you the whole way there.

She gently rocks you while you watch the film, the sight of Darth Vader igniting your child-like love that Jenna adored.

"Hey bubs, promise you'll never think yourself as unlovable. Promise me that my love."

"I promise." You say, even though you still didn't fully believe it. Your parents words still hurt.

"Good boy. My special beautiful boy"

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the fabulous @cfr749. Please go read her fics and join me in screeching over them!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 28

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 103,520

3. What fandoms do you write for? The Rookie (Chenford), and previously for Chicago PD (Linstead)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? - stay - i want you to be happier - i don't wanna think of anything else (now that i thought of you) - all at once this is enough - now everything is easy (cause of you)

5. Do you respond to comments? I didn't when I first started posting fics (though I often think about going back and replying to them now, but that would probably be weird lol). But yes, now I definitely respond to comments. I am absolutely giddy over every single one I receive, and so I love to express that appreciation!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmmm I don't think any of them? I tend to leave even the angstiest fics on a hopeful note. But I suppose either just close your eyes (you'll be alright) or you know the greatest films of all time were never made just because of where they land in relation to the events of the show?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably in paper rings, in picture frames, and all my dreams, because, hello, 💍

8. Do you get hate on fics? Thankfully I have only seen positive feedback, which is so so lovely. This fandom is wonderful 💖

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do not, because I'm too chicken. Maybe one day? (iykyk)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No. I can't stand crossover fics. 😬

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  Not by me!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! My babe @timandlucy and I have a collab that we started a while ago and have recently talked about picking up again! And we have an idea for another one brewing too! And @makeitastrength and I have on that's sitting on the backburner, but hopefully we will make happen!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Chenford!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I want to say none because I'm way too fucking stubborn to give up on anything. But *sigh* Home... 😬😬😬😬😬 (it's been 5½ years, so it's not looking particularly hopeful)

16. What are your writing strengths? Oh man, I don't know? I hope I do a decent enough job of getting their voices right? Dialogue is often a battle, but that's probably because of how insane particular I am. I will say things out loud, play around with words, etc. to make sure it really feels like something they would say.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Being too indecisive and my lack of confidence (which, frankly, go hand in hand).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I haven't done it, but I would definitely be looking to lean on a native speaker to ensure I do it correctly!

19. First fandom you wrote for? Chicago PD (Linstead)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? So hard, but i want you to be happier has a special place in my heart. It was a challenge to write, but the words still came so easily. And when I go back and re-read it, I don't cringe, so that's a win right there!

Thanks Lana! 🥰

Tagging @timandlucy @roguetwelve @makeitastrength @silverskull @goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo @chenfordspiral @sisterofficerlucychen @thisnightissparkling089 💕

watched tenet for the 7th time first of all Neil and the protagonist are literally boyfriends been know since first time I watched it you can’t tell me other wise the way Neil kept coming back in time in revert to save the protagonist they IN LOVE YOUR HONOUR the give doctor and river song vibes 2nd how come I’ve watched this 7 times yet I ain’t know that was Aaron as Ives or maybe I did and just forgot Aaron Taylor discography insane this to bullet train now that’s marvel actor done great now rdj too cuz he’s in Nolan movie too! back to the movie I can without a doubt

say this is Nolan greatest film I’m sorry it’s this or memento that’s just facts and prestige is 3rd best Nolan movie ofc I’m so sorry people didn’t get tenet the first time or 2nd or 3rd time it’s literally one of the greatest movies and Nolan greatest movie no doubt in my mind I’m sorry y’all dumb and couldn’t understand the nuance of the movie the storytelling and plot but that’s just seems like you problem imagine not like one of the greatest movies bc you didn’t get it so you hated and gave it bad reviews ah fcvk it was also clearly racism involved cuz wryly the one time the main lead actor is black man in Nolan movie y’all hate it an give bad reviews and rankings it’s like how y’all treat every black lead movie especially the princess/superheroes movies bc y’all believe they taking away roles from ur fav same old yt actors

it’s clear it was racism that fuelled the hatred for tenet you can’t convince me y’all would’ve ate it up if it was yt actor y’all love who did the movie like y’all already loving Oppenheimer even tho y’all haven’t even seen it and will give great rankings reviews etc call it his

best work etc bla bla give it a high RT same old same old yt privilege sh*t while we on Oppenheimer was it hints in the movie bc they talked about him and atomic so much in the movie it’s like Nolan was giving us obvious huge clues hints that it was gonna be his next movie and it is the amount of times they talked about Oppenheimer atomic b0mbs grandfather of the blax2 it’s clear he was letting us know imagine if tenet and Oppenheimer was in the same universe that would’ve been so cool cuz they can invert themselves back in time what if they somehow found

a way it would’ve been so cool I know they can’t go that far back to a time where they weren’t born but its Nolan be most have a way of doing that it would’ve been so awesome cuz the guy we never met was getting things from the future what if he made sure Oppenheimer got the idea

the future or whatever that would’ve been the most mind blowing sh*t to ever happen in film imagine if Nolan created his own multiverse like this with tenet being a way for Oppenheimer sort of? and why do I feel we getting a tenet2 plz god tell me we are plz Nolan need them back

I need the boyfriends back I need to know how they met how he recruited her how he became aware of the whole thing from Neil and the protagonist perspective this time since we only saw Neil knowing the protagonist for years they literally been bfs for years I’m gonna end it all

bc why would the protagonist feel so strongly about a man he just met unless he subconsciously knew they were more he was crying for godsake over a guy he met few days ago max a month but he also knew Kat that long yet he been villing to risk her life for the mission timex2 again

I know folklore is emotions somewhat fictionalisedbut do you think the 1 is somewhat harry coded? I can't unsee it especially after the 1989 vault

I thought I saw you at the bus stop//I see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters, Greatest films of all time were never made//we were born to be suburban legends,if you wanted me you really should have showed//'I would stay forever if you say dont go,if you never bleed youre never gonna grow//whyd you have to twist the knife walk away and leave me bleeding, we were something don't you think so//I swear that it was something, roaring 20s being her early-mid 20s, if my wishes came true it would have been you//I wish you would, we never painted by the numbers baby//you painted all my nights etc......

in a similar way that cardigan is about being treated casually by someone who you don’t feel casual about, and one of the people that taught taylor how it felt was harry. like i think a big part of that relationship was running into each other after it ended and being like “oh yeah i’m doing good i’m on some new shit i’m totally over you” and then they’d go home and write songs like how DARE they try to move on this ISNT OVER. so writing a song about running into an ex that you’re not quite over is bound to run into some harry feelings

Why Do We Love…

Charlotte Martin

Our series "Why Do We Love..." published on each muse's birthday are getting to an end, and French former model and artist Charlotte Martin is next!

[Charlotte Martin in 1967 by Robert Whittaker. Sent to us by lovely Kana from Japan for our Family Zepp site, remember?]

We first new about Charlotte when one of us created a website called Family Zepp on piczo back in the day, remember that? We were teenagers and we loved Led Zeppelin, but unlike The Beatles, there weren't any sites for the girls or the children, so one of us started and we became familiar with the names of Maureen and Carmen Plant, Sabel Starr, Lori Mattix ... and Charlotte!

[Charlotte in 1969 by Barry Lategan]

Truth to be told, we had to do a real detective job with Charlotte, because it was said that she was a 1960s supermodel, but unlike Pattie Boyd, we couldn't find anything! And, like her, she had a relationship with Eric Clapton, before having one with Jimmy Page.

[Charlotte and Eric in 1967, by Robert Whittaker]

We also learnt that she had a short relationship with Beatle George Harrison, but never was included anywhere as a "Beatlegirl". Little by little we found (sometimes with a little help from our friends) more and more Charlotte information and photos, including modelling pics, but in every pic she looked different, so we weren't sure if it was her or not!

[For years these were the only Charlotte pics on the net we could find, early 1970s, late 1970s and 1980s...]

Little by little we learned she was on The Beatles "All You Need is Love" video or in Led Zeppelin's "The Song Remains the Same" film, so we took screencaps of her, to build our collection for the Family Zepp website!

[Left, 1967 "All you need is Love", sitting between Paul McCartney -not shown- and John Lennon. Right, with her baby daughter Scarlet Page in a cameo in "The Song Remains the Same". Our caps]

But we think most of the photos we found came after, maybe thanks to tumblr and later (recently) instagram. We found amazing blogs like Liz Eggleston/Miss Peelpants who find the greatest and rarest Charlotte pics and share them with us all. So we could see Charlotte's beauty and talent once and for all!

[Three of the numerous of modelling Charlotte scans that Liz Eggleston/Miss Peelpants shares in her blog, go and follow her!]

[One of the typical images of Charlotte... thanks to tumblr and instagram we could find out the date and occasion! The 1967 Legalize Cannabis Rally at London's Speaker's Corner]

[Left, another Beatles' connection! Modelling The Fool for The Apple boutique in 1968. Right, Charlotte shared her 1969 modelling image on her instagram]

We respect Charlotte for never selling her stories of the times she spent with The Beatles, Eric, Jimmy Page and Led Zeppelin... even if we'd like to know all the details!

[Charlotte, Jimmy, and their daughter, photographer Scarlet, in a Scarlet photography exhibition in 2007. Charlotte is in good terms with both Eric and Jimmy.]

Nowadays she is a very successful artist and painter, and you can see her creating her work on her website or the numerous exhibits she's done.

[Charlotte in 2017 with one of her paintings, from her website]

Today, for her 75th birthday, we wanted to share with all of you, dear followers, how we knew about Charlotte and what made us love her.

Here we share:

OUR BIOGRAPHY OF HER, WITH LINKS TO AMAZING SITES

HER POSTS IN OUR BLOG

OUR PHOTO COLLECTION HOSTED AT GOOGLE PHOTOS (all the photos have been collected from the net, photographers, details, websites etc are credited when known)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BEAUTIFUL ARTIST

Hi! I hope I’m not bothering you, but I’m the person that’s learning about Taylor’s discography because I properly joined last year! Can I ask you to give a run down of the themes of each song from folklore and evermore? I hope it’s not too big of a bother! I know that the songs are fictional, but I know that she infused her own feelings and took inspiration from her life, but I’m still pretty ignorant and I really like your analyses :)

omg anon ily, this is so pure and sweet. yes of course, feel free to ask anytime.

also, if you haven't already, i'd recommend watching folklore: long pond studio sessions. she talks a lot about what the songs on folklore mean, why she wrote them, etc. there isn't one for evermore but it'll at least help with one of the albums, and it's got a lot of meta-commentary about the circumstances of folklore's creation (pandemic)

folklore:

the 1 - the 1 is about running into an ex and thinking about what could've been. it's also the perfect album opener because she starts with "i'm doing good, i'm on some new shit, been saying yes instead of no" which both refers to her general state of mind (pandemic) and the genre shift. it's also the first song that introduces a theme we see a lot on folklore, which is love being likened to films. "you know the greatest films of all time were never made" = their love never came to fruition despite there being a lot of potential and chemistry. the actual song and story is fictional, just like most of the songs on folklore and evermore, but i think the emotional inspiration was less one person and just a general pattern she found herself in a lot. if we had to point directly to one person i'd say harry, but it's very subliminal and not at all a clear-cut comparison.

cardigan - cardigan is the first song out of 3 on folklore about a fictional teenage love triangle. this song is from the perspective of the adult version of "betty," the character who's cheated on by james. musically and lyrically you can tell that this character is far more mature than the other two in the love triangle because they're teenagers during their narration and she's an adult during hers. she kind of retells the story, but in a vague way that's way more focused on her growth as a character because of the relationship. i could talk about this aspect for hours, but essentially it's that she was struggling, needed his validation, lost it very suddenly, and had to learn to give that to herself. it's also very unclear if she took him back or not, which doesn't change in the other songs about the love triangle. i think taylor sees herself as all three of the characters in the love triangle, but cardigan's story of teenage douchery points to harry for me. the 1989 vault really reframed the folklore love triangle for me because it's a very similar story.

the last great american dynasty - the song is about taylor's rhode island house (named holiday house) and it's previous owner, rebekah harkness. rebekah was a real person and the lyrics of tlgad are pretty much exactly what her life was like, except she dyed a cat key-lime green, not a dog lol. in the song, taylor draws a parallel between herself and rebekah, specifically the ways they were viewed by the world for their romantic history (rebekah being shamed by society for being a divorcee, taylor being shamed for society for having exes), and how they were viewed by their community for throwing parties and existing as loud women unapologetically. it's also got the parallel to mad woman, because mad woman is about female rage and tlgad carries themes of women being blamed and shunned (for something that really wasn't their fault) and choosing to live for themselves.

exile - exile is about a relationship that falls apart because of miscommunication. it's also one of those songs that ended up becoming reality. he thinks she left him out of nowhere and moved on, she thinks she gave him signs and signals and chances to no avail until she had no choice but to leave. these two are just unable to get on the same page or hear each other, even now that they've broken up. by the time they do understand each other (the very end of the song), it's too late. we also see the return of the film theme in "i think i've seen this film before, and i didn't like the ending." the film is their love that's doomed to end the exact same way every time because there's a fundamental misunderstanding. i have no earthly clue what this song could be based on from her real life because it's like, ylm 0.5. emotionally i'm sure it just comes from her past experience with not feeling heard or seen

my tears ricochet - mtr is about a very long relationship that ends really badly. it explores the idea that the only reason there can be so much pain is because there was once so much trust. i believe she said in lpss that she was thinking a lot about how in many stories, the hero's greatest enemy was once his best friend. it's also extremely tied to her life in a really upsetting, and painful way. the song is about losing her masters, specifically the betrayal of scott borchetta selling them. her and scott were in business together for 15 years, starting when she was literally 15 years old. he was like a father figure to her, and his betrayal a) redefined betrayal entirely for her, and b) was the worst heartbreak of her life (i have no idea if this is still true post-joever but i'm inclined to think it is). the song uses a funeral as a metaphor for how scott tried to "bury" her - escape her legacy and erase their relationship. (if you want to know more about the masters debacle, ask me and i'll direct you to blogs that know more than me and are more detailed).

mirrorball - this song is about someone who feels like they always have to be "on" for everyone, always be performing, always be shining and bright. it's very "pathological people pleaser" - just someone who's a different version of themself for everyone they meet and tailors their personality to be liked, which comes at the cost of not being able to be vulnerable or show their sadness and pain. in fact, when that pain is shown, it's laughed at and treated as a joke or as content to be exploited. it's about taylor as a person and a lifelong struggle she's had, but also (pandemic). "when they called off the circus, burned the disco down, when they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns" is a direct reference to the lover tour being cancelled because of the pandemic and it leaving her feeling purposeless. what does someone who's been performing, both literally and figuratively, their entire life, do when there's no audience anymore?

seven - seven is about the people who knew you before you were conditioned by society into being something or being one way, aka: childhood. when trusting was easy, when there was always a way to go home and escape the troubles, when fear was exciting and not paralyzing. when you could speak your mind freely and not think about what others would think. this is framed against a friend who didn't have it the best, and looking back on it as an adult and realizing that things were Not Okay there. it's a great exploration of childhood and all the layering shades of it, and no doubt inspired by if not directly pulled from taylor's own childhood in pennsylvania

august - august is another song from the love triangle! this is the perspective of augustine, the girl james cheated on betty with. we see that she was basically used, told she was loved, and then ditched by james as soon as he wanted to run back to betty. she was in love with him and he saw her as a summer thing to waste time on. i think taylor's felt like that a lot in her life, and it reminds me a lot of foolish one. less one person, more a pattern that doesn't stop hurting the more it happens

this is me trying - i seriously recommend either watching the long pond studio sessions for this song's description or finding a youtube clip of it because she articulates it in a way that i really can't. but it's basically about someone who feels like they once had a lot of potential and fell behind due to their mental health. it's about the daily struggle of someone who has an addiction or someone who has mental health issues to fight those battles and win every single day, even if no one is congratulating them because society sees it as the bare minimum. (also the film theme is back: you're a flashback on a film reel in the one screen in my town = memories with this person play over and over in her mind). taylor herself has struggled with anxiety, depression, and using alcohol as a vice of sorts, and this song reflects those things. it's also about turning towards someone when you need help through a tough time, which imo is heavily based on how she was with joe in 2016.

illicit affairs - illicit affairs is a sympathetic portrayal of what it means to be the "other woman" or a married man's mistress, and the emotional costs of being someone's dirty little secret. we can infer that it's unrelated to august because the song has a lot of emphasis on the guy being much older than the narrator. imo it's heavily based on how she felt in her relationship with jake, because it's basically "you kept me like a secret but i kept you like an oath" expanded upon for 3 minutes. she wasn't the other woman with jake (he literally cheated on her actually) but she knows how it feels for your older partner to be ashamed of you and treat you like something to be hidden from others

invisible string - this is one of the few songs on this album that fully isn't fictional at all. this is straight up about joe, down to the details about where he worked at sixteen and the first song he heard when he came to LA. the idea of the song is that you and your partner lived separate lives before meeting each other, but you know you were supposed to all along because of these little coincidences of fate that lined up perfectly

mad woman - the female rage motif from tlgad is in full swing here. this song is all about how it feels to be a woman and be talked over by men consistently. it's also about scooter braun and her masters, and how it felt to be ignored and belittled by him and the music industry while pitching the re-recordings

epiphany - i could summarize this entire thing with just (pandemic) tbh. it's about the healthcare workers during the pandemic (literally compares it to war) but also about the entire world, if that makes sense. when you think about what the world was like during the pandemic and kind of the collective trauma we all went through. i mean there are just some things you don't speak about.

betty - this is the final song in the folklore love triangle trilogy. this one is from the perspective of james, as he tries to apologize to betty for cheating on her. telling you the story would basically just be reading you the lyrics so i'll leave that to spotify, but it's also ambiguous about whether or not she takes him back. i think it's lowkey based on harry (see: 1989 vault) but also just the radical act of a man apologizing and showing up that i think taylor found interesting

peace - peace is also not fictional! it's about her relationship with her fame and how it affects her partner. kind of exploring the idea of things never being easy, or at least never being easy for long, because there's always a new threat looming. (which is 1000% going to be recontextualized as a Not Healthy Idea with the tortured poets department because she's now in a relationship where things are easy because they're just flexible about boundaries and deal with things as they come). it's also kind of about mental health and how that can affect one's partner, or at least that's how most people relate to it

hoax - hoax is about three things at the same time that all really hurt - a love, a business relationship, and a friend who was like family. (joe, scott/scooter, and KK. using initials for the last person for Reasons, ask separately if you don't know who it is). the point of the song is that all the lyrics point to all the people, and you can read them with 3 different views. joe's is that it was a point in time when it wasn't easy to be in love because she was hurting, but she was able to sit and be sad with him. scott/scooter's is like, betrayal and anguish and pain. and KK's is also betrayal but in a more targeted, friendship-fallout way. the entire thing is not fictional and it's very broad so it's hard to totally grasp the concept of, but think grief and pain and hit play (that's what i do). also the film thing returns once more. "you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for" = you know i have nothing left in me, so why do you keep trying to make this work.

the lakes - the lakes is about this dream she had of escaping the things that made creating hard for her (mostly the public pressure of the media and the world) and just running away with her and her partner (joe) to the lake district in england. it's kind of the thesis statement of folklore - things were tough, so she created a fictional cabin in the woods to find solace and comfort and took him with her. it's very rooted in (pandemic) because life was really hard for all of us in 2020/2021 and we all just wanted to escape a little bit

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evermore:

willow - willow is about joe and how he came into her life at a very unexpected time and understood her in a way no one had before (rip). it frames the beginning of their relationship in a way that's narratively mystical as she portrays herself as a witch brewing up a love spell. also the perfect album opener for a million reasons, the best of which being "but i come back stronger than a 90s trend."

champagne problems - champagne problems is about a couple who meets up one night, one planning to end it and one bringing a ring. the narrator rejects his proposal, leaving him and their shared friend group reeling. it's also implied that she has mental health issues that they (their friends and his family) use to blame her and ostracize her for not saying yes. she's left to deal with the guilt and shame that comes with her decision while knowing it was the right choice in her heart. for taylor, i think the link to her life was how society often acted like she was supposed to be getting married and settling down, and when she made choices to further other parts of her life (e.g. her career) instead, she felt that shame as well.

gold rush - gold rush is about joe as well, specifically the early stages of their relationship where she wasn't sure if it would last or be defined or be real (see: cruel summer). it covers a lot of the emotional conflict and inner turmoil but in a fun and boppy way to reflect how falling in love was also exciting and refreshing (since most of it is her daydreaming). a fun fact about this song is that harry thinks it's about him and it is not

tis the damn season - ttds is one half of a dual-part story on evermore. it's from the perspective of a character called dorothea, who left her small town in search of fame (it's implied to be acting in the songs but i'm not certain), leaving behind her high school sweetheart. she goes home for the holidays and reconnects with him, and there's maybe even some left-behind jealousy and tension there? either way, they start hooking up for the week she'll be there. all the while, she's realizing that she'd be happy riding around in his truck with him because she doesn't have genuine connections in LA, and he's the only one who really truly knows her. but she won't ask him to wait for her if he doesn't ask her to stay for him. the parts about him being the only one who gets her is fictional, but the relationship is based on what she had with her high school sweetheart, drew (our song drew not teardrops on my guitar drew). see: midnight rain, which is the real life version of events and not the fictional one

tolerate it - this one's about being in a relationship where you give it your 100% and try your hardest to love them and care for them and it all just goes unnoticed or is taken for granted. the song portrays the narrator as a housewife and shows her daily struggle of wanting to leave, thinking for a second that she really could, but then settling back into her miserable lifestyle again. it's strongly based on how she felt when she was with calvin, and the "sad housewife" motif is very directly tied to what he wanted from her vs what she wanted to be

no body no crime - nbnc is pretty self-explanatory, it's about a woman who's friend (este) catches her husband cheating and goes "missing" implying that he killed her. the woman then kills the husband as revenge and pins it on his mistress. this one is honestly just fun and a cool fact is that este and danielle (the sister mentioned in the song) are both the names of two of the haim sisters, and HAIM features on the song

happiness - the song's about a divorce, or the end of a seven-year relationship (like exile, eventually became reality). it's about how the pain and bitterness associated with a relationship ending can exist, but it only gets you so far, and eventually you need to just accept that things are what they are. it's a really beautiful narrative about moving on and life and reinvention. because it's about a divorce, we can assume that it's at least partially based on her friend abigail's divorce in 2021 (i think) but it's also a metaphor for her relationship with her old record label and leaving. or at least a way of exploring her emotions about that whole process

dorothea - dorothea is the 2nd half of the ttds/dorothea duo. while in ttds, dorothea sings about how she won't ask him to wait for her because he isn't asking her to stay for him and she doesn't want to burden him like that, we see here that he (the narrator who's singing to dorothea) wants to wait for her and is just waiting for her to come back to him and say the word. it's what taylor, on some level, wants someone to think and feel about her (that someone being the ex she used to hook up with whenever she came back to town lmfao. it's pretty unserious and not actually about him but about fame and choices which i go into more with my midnight rain analysis).

coney island - coney island is a song about reflecting on a relationship, regretting what happened, and wondering what happened there. it captures this moment of longingness and pain fresh after something has ended, and in the bridge, we get references to multiple of her relationships (big cake / happy birthday = jake, bluest skies the darkest gray = j*hn, accident = harry, podium = calvin) and you realize that the song's actually about ALL of them. in the chorus, when she sings "over and over" it's because she's had this moment at coney island over and over again with all of these people, and she's terrified that it'll happen to her current relationship (which was joe at the time). she sees herself in this cycle and she doesn't want to be there anymore, so she uses the song to roleplay her fears in a way

ivy - ivy is about a woman who's with a husband that she does not love and is having an affair with someone she does love but can't be with because of the volatile husband. it's a classic story, but it's also the same one as high infidelity if you look closely enough. while she wasn't married to CH (calvin) and didn't technically cheat, the undertones of violence are the same (lock broken, slur spoken, picket fence as sharp as knives / what would he do if he found us out, he's going to burn this house to the ground) as well as someone being a strong enough force to wake you up and realize that the life you've been living isn't true to yourself

cowboy like me - this song uses two con artists ditching their swindling and scamming ways to find true love within each other as a metaphor for her and joe (think: put down our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now). i saw someone describe it as "yeehaw ready for it" which is very accurate imo. they have to overcome a lot, but they end up realizing that "forever is the sweetest con" - the thing they wanted most wasn't something money could buy, it was the love and comfort they found in each other

long story short - this one's straight up not fictional. it's about the stuff she went through, specifically 2016-2017, the defense mechanisms she built up because of those experiences, and the work she had to do to get where she is, both in her personal life and in her relationship. also, "i dropped my sword, threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door" is basically the entire premise of cowboy like me, so putting them right next to each other on the tracklist was so smart.

marjorie - marjorie was the name of taylor's grandma. she had a huge impact on her life and was one of the people who first inspired her to pursue music, as she herself was an opera singer. she always dreamed of making it big with her music, but had to give up those dreams to start a family. in many ways, taylor feels like she's fulfilling those dreams for the both of them. the song's basically about grief and how we have to hold on to the pieces of someone (which is often just our memories of them) and believe that they're watching because that's how we get through loss and hard things.

closure - closure is about a friendship breakup with someone who then reaches out later to try to smooth things over, but you know it's not really to take accountability or mend things, but to settle scores and get it off of their conscience. the song proclaims that actually, she doesn't owe anyone closure, and she's totally okay with stewing in her bitterness about it because the other person doesn't deserve to have that wrinkle in their past ironed out. it's a really interesting message because most media would encourage the opposite, and say to forgive and forget. closure lays out what happened as a heartbreak first, and the fact that it was a friendship and not a relationship doesn't matter because the emotional impact was the same. (it's about KK as well btw)

evermore - this one is about 2016 and the pain and devastation she suffered, mostly with her mental health and with depression. there were clearly times when it felt like nothing would get better and she outlines it really clearly. but there was something that was "real enough to get her through" something she dreamed of in the cracks of light. this originally meant joe, but i think it also meant us, the fans, who saw her and appreciated her and loved her at her lowest. it's a real tribute to her connection with us. the song uses wading through the ocean as a metaphor for depression, and it ends with "floors of a cabin creaking under my step" - she's found shelter. the chorus then switches from "that this pain would be forevermore" to "this pain wouldn't be for evermore." evermore (the album) has been song after song of things that you think will be forever and aren't - namely relationships with people. but it switches in evermore, because pain is what won't last forever. it becomes a hopeful message instead of a despondent one (and taylor's albums, at least the standard versions, are known for ending with hope).

right where you left me - rwylm is about someone who was broken up with at a restaurant years ago and can't move on emotionally. they're metaphorically stuck at that very restaurant, sitting at the booth for years to come, watching the world pass them by as they feel stagnant in their own life. it's very much a metaphor for how it feels to grow up famous - frozen at the age that you blew up and unable to move past that as you watch everyone else grow up around you. the age specifically mentioned in the song is 23, which we know was a really hard age for taylor where she went through a lot, both with fame and relationships.

it's time to go - it's time to go, in a broad sense, is about any moment when you feel like it's just time to let something be and that giving up is the right decision. whether that's a relationship, a job, a friendship, etc. ("when the words of a sister come back in whispers that prove she was not / in fact what she seemed not a twin from your dreams she's a crook who was caught" is about the same person as closure btw). but more specifically, the song is a way to explore taylor having to leave her old record label and the emotions surrounding that. it ends on the poignant lyric "he's got my past frozen behind glass, but i've got me." keep in mind, this is pre-re-recordings, although they were definitely in the works. it was a moment in time when she was really betting on herself against all odds and this song just encapsulates that

hey i am getting into try to watch classic movies (as in i just saw the shinning for the first time or godfather) and what are some good resources to check out for good recommendations, cause honestly I am finding it hard to know where I should start- thank in advance for posting about old movies they have all been added to my ever growing list!

omg hello!!!! hello! this is the ask i needed tonight.

in terms of resources... if you don't have a subscription to criterion channel already, do yourself a favor and get one. they are almost always highlighting an old hollywood actor or actress (this month is joan bennett and they're showing a really hard to find pre-code she's in called me and my gal. just an example.) and they have a wide variety of well-curated stuff to check out. same with kanopy if you have a library that partners with it. but honestly, if you are in the US or canada and have cable or know someone you can bum cable information off of, turner classic movies has been (at least for me) the greatest resource.

and i could easily point you to a list of the best classic movie recs (AFI has a list of 100 films, sight & sound just did their big poll - for example), but here's the thing. like on the level..... i spent so many years in college watching movies because i was told i was supposed to like them, or that they were IMPORTANT and THE CANON and i got almost nothing out of this experience. when i left college, i spent a week moping in unemployment on my parents' couch dogsitting and watching literally anything that came up on tcm. i watched the bride of frankenstein, i watched an irene dunne romance, i watched spencer tracy and katharine hepburn fall in love. fred and ginger dancing. john wayne walking into the wasteland of a desert that doesn't want him. etc. i watched as many different kinds of things as i could, and i went, so these films worked for me. these actors mean something to me and these don't. and i kept going my own way.

i know that feels like a non-answer, but i think it's very easy to get caught up in the like ~canon of it all~ and it's more fun to just start watching shit and discover things you may have never discovered. i told myself this year that i wanted to watch more silent cinema and i proceeded to just.... type "best silent actresses" into ye olde google and add a bunch of movies to a watchlist lmao. so i'm gonna give you a few lists now lmao but with the caveat that instead you should just ask yourself what sorts of things you like, what films interest you, what films you like, and kinda go from there. who influenced your favorite filmmaker? what old films do they like? etc.

some lists:

i made a post two years ago giving recs on 30s films that i still stand by lmao

last year i made my official "personal canon" list which details my 200 favorite films from the birth of cinema to now

a critic i love, willow maclay, made her personal canon list last year and she's one of my favorites on cinema period, old and new

every year a critic i also love, justine smith, does a twitter thread of her updated canon. this is from 2022. i love watching her list change every year.

my amazing friend marya gates essentially answered your question in way fewer words that i did with her list here

i hope this was helpful, sorry for the length of this, and happy watching! i am happy to help nudge you in any further directions if you want more tailored recs based on what you've seen/want to see/are interested in. feel free to send an ask or dm me any time.

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Okay.

So! Code Geass: Lelouch of the Re;surrection, huh? Took me five years to get to it. I do not know what I expected. This was not nearly as bad as I feared but also not as good as I hoped. I guess I'd say it's good as a movie for huge Code Geass fans, but it also kind of walks back some of the core ideas of Code Geass as a series, so Hm.

Like, ok, let's just start with the premise. The very idea of Lelouch coming back to life after the end of the series (or rather the alternate continuity to the series as presented by the Lelouch of the Rebellion compilation movies), is already a bit wonky. If Code Geass works on any level *thematically,* it's because Lelouch, as the 99th Emperor Britannia, dies. He dies not because it's necessarily the right thing to happen to him *morally,* but because he knows he has so much blood on his hands that he can't live with himself. It's suicide-by-Suzaku. That's how the original series ends.

Here, of course, he is just back. In of itself, that would be fine, but everyone is SO accepting of it SO quickly. There's a couple quick scenes of Kallen crying over him and Suzaku beating the ever-loving shit out of him (he deserves worse honestly), but for the most part everyone is completely happy to start taking orders from History's Greatest Monster again. With some of these people, like Cornelia and even his own sister Nunally, this kind of strains credulity. Especially with how the latter goes out of her way to exonerate Lelouch of any wrongdoing and blames herself for not truly understanding her brother's motives. I'm sorry, like, I've seen the show. That's just kind of bullshit. Lelouch's motives were *extremely* selfish and the fact that he never told Nunnally what he was up to was kind of the whole point, he didn't respect her as an equal, and just thought of her as someone he needed to protect. Due to, you know, pick one; misogyny, a generally privileged upbringing that may have rubbed some concept of noblesse oblige into him, ableism, the fact that he's a smug bastard who assumes he knows better than everyone, etc.

The unfortunate thing about the movie, though, is that Lelouch Lamperouge is cool as shit and it's really fun to watch him do anything.

Where it gets brought back, at least for me, in spite of all these flaws, is that I do just pop when Lelouch is on-screen Doing His Thing. C.C. has a fantastic little exchange with him when he gets discouraged late in the film where she talks about how she wants to see the arrogant, unwavering Lelouch. That's a good moment and it's pretty in keeping with their relationship, but it's also a sly nod toward the fourth wall I'm pretty sure. Unfortunately, to some extent, I will just watch this fucking bastard with his fucking hair and his fucking cloak and mask and his fucking violet shoujo manga-ass eyes and his fucking fruity little hand gestures whenever he talks, play everyone like a fiddle yet again while making grand pronouncements and saying "checkmate" unironically when he's got someone cornered even though no one has ever played a game of chess on-screen in Code Geass that made a lick of sense.

There are certain characters that just have such unreal amounts of charisma that watching them do basically anything is fun. (The voice acting in this thing is magnificent, of course, and helps sell that. I'd listen to Fukuyama Jun read a phone book.) Lelouch is one of those. If I'm any Code Geass character in spirit, it's Tamaki. Any time Lelouch puts on the Zero mask I scream and point at the screen and go "that's my man right there!!" like we're close personal friends or something. It's a disease, and I have to live with it. God forbid I ever get super into UC Gundam, I don't know WHAT I'd do if I ended up being like this about Char.

Everyone else returning from Code Geass proper has at least one really good moment, too. Kallen, Suzaku, and C.C. predictably get the best of them and the new characters that are introduced as their antagonists are, at least, very strong. The way the middle east is portrayed in this movie is WILD problematic, but a side effect of how Code Geass tends to write its antagonists is that at the very least the antagonist characters here have actual, like, human motives, and Lelouch's opposite number Shamna is a worthy foe; he does of course beat her but it's really down to the wire. Lot of good mecha fights in here, too, with Kallen and Suzaku both getting a lot of good screentime doing what they do best. There's more CGI than I'd like (CGI can work very well in a mecha anime IF the mecha are designed for it, but Code Geass' largely were not and you can tell), but not enough that it saps the movie of its dynamism, so, full marks there.

And then there's the ending of the movie which, hmmm. Basically, indirectly, the film makes C.C. x Lelouch canon, and in the postscript they seem to have formed a Geass Master power couple (complete with a very sharp gothic lolita look for C.C. that is absolutely fabulous. Lelouch's new outfit in that sequence is pretty snazzy too). I know Suzululu was always the more popular pairing (at least I've always gotten that impression), but I think this actually mostly makes sense, and I think they look good together. OTOH, Lelouch---sorry, he's going by L.L. now---seems like the sort of person who has a lot of different people in his life without necessarily being *totally* bound to any one of them. Maybe that's my own polyamory coloring the text, but it didn't feel exclusionary to me.

Anyway, yeah. Kind of betrays the spirit of the original a little bit but as far as being essentially a fun fanservice movie it was pretty good. They're making more, I'll probably watch those, too, especially if Lelouch continues to be cunty in them.

phil ochs greatest hits for the ask game!! :)

hiiiii lucy ty for the ask!!! the first phil album i ever got <3

• The best song on the album - no more songs

this one is just orchestrated beautifully it's so emotionally overwhelming and the absolute perfect way to end an album... let alone his last. it's frighteningly acute and poetic and cinematic phil i love you forever and ever...

• My favorite song on the album - jim dean of indiana

i think my actual favorite is no more songs but this is a top 3 for sure. i love phil for a lot of reasons and feel that i relate to him in many ways, and his love of film and actors is one of those things abt him that just gets to me. like that anecdote where bob dylan took him to meet brando (one of his heroes) and dylan and the other guy they went with were making fun of brando after and he just kind of stood there... like he took the medium of film as art very seriously and like idk i feel like i get him. if i got to meet my favorite director or actor and my friends made fun of them after i'd be upset too... no matter what happened. so writing this really beautiful and empathetic composition on piano... and of course him playing it on piano often before he killed himself. it's mourning someone you could never save

• My least favorite song on the album - my kingdom for a car

honestly i dig the lyrics but it just doesn't land for me...

• The most overrated song on the album - n/a

i don't really think you can say any phil songs are overrated

• Most underrated - boy in ohio

i feel like no one talks about this one!!! what an incredible song about what we don't know we'll end up missing from our childhood... what we've lost and how we can't ever have it back.

• The banger of all bangers - gas station women

this is the song that really fully got me into phil ochs, i blind bought this album thinking it was an actual greatest hits album and as soon as gas station women hit, it was over for me. 4000 scrobbles later... and this song really got me deep into artists like faron young and buck owens etc.

• Rate from 0-10 - 8.5/10

there's some filler going on but jim dean of indiana and no more songs and boy in ohio are among some of his all-time greatest songs, and gas station women is a personal favorite and i wish we had gotten a straight country album... would have loved phil covering something like live fast or your time's coming by faron young or studio recordings of johnny cash covers that he did at later gigs like give my love to rose, or more merle like keep me from crying today. :(

people who legitimately think that marvel movies are the bottom of the cultural barrel have zero media literacy or knowledge and I can’t take anything that they say seriously

I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that they’re the greatest movies ever made of all time but I will say they’re mostly fun so I don’t give a shit if scorsese nolan hitchcock kubrick etc are “better”. like nickelback. they’re not nearly the levels of talent and composition as dream theater, rush, king crimson, opeth, polyphia, deftones, loathe, sleep token, lady gaga, etc but they’re perfectly competent and listenable. you cannot sit there and tell me that the shitty myspacecore groups like brokencyde, blood on the dance floor, the medic droid, shitty drunk mom bands like hinder, saving abel, and buckcherry, shitty white girl pop like taylor swift, meg trainer, and katy perry, and shitty frat boy rap rock groups like crazy town, saliva, and kid rock, are in any way better than nickelback. you cannot tell me that you would rather listen to analcunt than nickelback even if you love analcunt because people who like grindcore know that it sounds like shit and that’s why they like it. and I’m gonna make a statement that’s so controversial in that the mcu movies are some of the best movies on the market these days because of one teeny tiny little detail.

every single american horror movie made in the last 20 years is so much worse than the most unpleasant and boring mcu film.

*except for jordan peele, who is the exception, not the rule.

paul ws anderson has not made a good movie since mortal kombat and the first resident evil AND EVEN THEN those are really cheesy, poorly edited, weirdly paced, and heavily flawed. michael bay’s writing sucks and relies solely on the spectacle of explosions. uwe boll. tommy fucking wiseau. every single shyamalan movie since unbreakable has been absolutely atrocious (aside from joaquin phoenix being the only one saving signs and the village from being NEARLY as fucking terrible as lady in the water, the happening, the last airbender, and so on, but they’re still stilted and awkward). nic cage is in a billion movies these days but we’re all just gonna forget about the late 90s and 2000s where he was in just as many movies and all of them are really really stupid? how about every superhero movie made prior to the mcu. did we forget that xmen 3 was so bad they literally fucking sent wolverine back in time to make it so that it never even happened? AND THEN HAD SANSA STARK MAKE A SILLY LITTLE JOKE ABOUT IT IN THE REBOOT TRILOGY??? but weirdly enough xmen 3 is still better then origins wolverine. oh and also green lantern, daredevil, catwoman, punisher warzone, all the batman movies where the suit has nipples, like you can’t tell me that the only good superhero movies are the worst ones because I HAVE SEEN WORSE BEFORE, sorry you were born after 2005 and you never bothered to engage media that wasn’t spoonfed to you by the algorithm.

but you know what I’d still rather watch The Room because sometimes things are bad in a way that’s still entertaining to see its incompetence, rather than Hulk. which is. fine I guess but I have no strong desire to ever watch that one again. but I still enjoyed watching it when I did. like yeah it’s not the best but it sure as fuck isn’t the worst and I’ll tell you why.

because the actual worst movies ever made of all time? dude. blumhouse’s cesspool. the conjuring is shit. annabelle is shit. sinister is shit. insidious is shit. paranormal activity is shit. the purge is shit. truth or dare is shit. unfriended is shit. oculus is shit. and night swim, that’s gonna be SOOO cringe. you’re fucking delusional at best, fucking ignorant at worst, if you think that this deluge of propaganda is better. you say that the story beats in every marvel movie are exactly the same even though they’re the same story beats that every single movie and novel has had for the past 150 years (well more like 1500 years), where you have the prologue and the inciting incident then act 2 then the midpoint then there’s a despair event horizon then a climax and a denounement at the end capping it off like a cherry on top of the sundae on an assembly line. they all copy the hero’s journey from greek storytelling. they’re all in the same boat so that’s literally the dumbest criticism you can make. you’re sitting there eating instant ramen while talking smack about hot pockets for not being made of healthy ingredients.

it’s hypocritical, and it’s telling that 90% of the people who do nothing but make a hundred posts every day about how bad marvel movies are, don’t actually do anything besides watch marvel movies just to find things to complain about. like, all you’re doing is the exact same thing that marvel fans do but you’re cultivating your own misery whereas the fans enjoy it and milk it for serotonin. it’s like when self identified anti-sjws didn’t realize that they were also SJWs, they were just on the other side of the battle lines. luckily they’re all so braindead and prone to follower mentality that they just say the word woke is bad because everyone else says that word is bad even though they have no solid definition for what the fuck woke even means anymore besides being a buzzword to help us intelligent people distinguish a bigoted asshole. point is you don’t know how to create your own opinions so you just copy whoever is spreading the most vitriol and hate.

it’s just honestly so sad to see but at the same time I envy the illusion. if I lived in a world where I thought that fried chicken was the worst food ever made expressly because everything else available to me was so much more yummy than fried chicken. imagine the privilege. imagine having champagne and caviar for breakfast, foie gras for lunch, and sushi for dinner with tiramisu for dessert, living in paradise because the worst thing in your life is fried chicken. you’ve never had to eat hot dogs. you’ve never had kale crammed down your throat. your mac and cheese doesn’t come in a box. you’re so goddamn lucky that the worst movies you’ve ever seen are still better than most movies period I’ve seen.

so I hope that when you inevitably are approached with the reality of video brinquiedo you aren’t fucking traumatized. because you’re basically the marie antoinette of cinema.

Day 25- Film: Macao 

Release date: April 30th 

Studio: RKO 

Genre: Adventure Noir 

Director: Josef von Sternberg, Nicholas Ray 

Producer: Howard Hughes, Samuel Bischoff, Alex Gottlieb 

Actors: Robert Mitchum, Jane Russell, William Bendix, Gloria Grahame 

Plot Summary: Three American strangers with mysterious pasts end up on the island of Macao, just off the coast from Hong Kong. An American criminal who runs a casino there keeps his eyes on all three of them. Is one of them the Law coming after him? 

My Rating (out of 5 stars): *** 

When this film began, I thought, “The style really reminds me of Shanghai Express.” Then I saw von Sternberg’s name come on the screen and it made total sense! Unfortunately, this film does not live up to that earlier masterpiece. It’s another film in this project where a lot of elements are there to create something great, but it is ultimately just missing something. It was still generally an enjoyable movie, though, even if it was not great. 

The Good: 

Some of the Shanghai Express style. Von Sternberg can create a palpable mood/backdrop of exoticism in his films, and this has some of that. It’s also in an exotic locale where there are many different cultures coexisting together: Chinese, Portuguese, American, Japanese, etc. 

The way the mystery about who these people are unravels slowly as we learn more about their pasts. And the fact that the mystery is never totally solved.  

Jane Russell. She was subjected to constant catcalls and objectification by men, so I want to be very aware of that. Suffice it to say, she is stunning. She may not be the world’s greatest actor or singer, but you still want to drink in every opportunity to look at her. 

The plot was efficient and well-paced. At under 90 minutes, there was no time for it to get bloated and mind-numbing. 

The Bad: 

The characters weren’t developed much beyond the surface. 

Everybody looked so heavy-lidded, like they were so relaxed (jaded?) they could barely keep their eyes open. Russell, Mitchum, Grahame, and Dexter... they all had this. Was this a specific direction from von Sternberg? There is the famous story of him telling the cast of Shanghai Express to speak in monotone to mimic the train. Was this a similar kind of case? I can’t say I disliked it, exactly, but it could be distracting. 

It was hard not to compare it to von Sternberg’s more famous films with Marlene Dietrich. She is a seductive sex symbol like Russell, but Dietrich has a lot more charisma and skill as an actress. She knows how to walk into a room and make a bomb go off. It’s more than just her looks that achieve this. You always get this sparkle and sense of a full and complex person under the surface. Russell just doesn’t have this quality. Dietrich is never heavy-lidded! 

Hey there! I wanted to ask for advice, just a couple months ago I meet a boy, and though all the kind, soft, delicate and funny interactions we had I kinda felt for him, I honestly denied it so many times cause I knew maybe I was confusing "being treated like a human being" (cause i spend 2 years in total isolation for mental health issues) with love, and kept reminding me that in the back of my mind I was just really happy to have someone who didn't treat me like shit and really listened and care for me, but in some way I know that's just a facade (from him?) Because idk, males are shit and now that im so vulnerable and starving for love maybe I'm trynna fulfill this "fantasy" where he loves me for who I am and all that stuff, and idk maybe it doesn't make sense? I'm a little high while writing this and just spitting my thoughts as I write, and I don't have anyone to ask or talk bout this, and I hate that I'm putting all my trust and emotional stability in his existence? Because honestly I don't wanna be near men anymore, cause I know the starter pack of a male is basically being a misogynistic piece of shit, consuming porn, etc, etc, but pretending he's a nice guy, and today a new manager came to work with me (he quitted from work, thats how we met) and honestly she's soooooo beautiful, like gorgeous, and he came to just say hi and told me to go eat together after my shift, and that he was gonna wait for me and also one of his friends, when we were eating, his friend mentioned that "he heard from someone" that my new manager was beautiful and wanted to work there to tal to her blablabla and I kinda felt jealous cause the only person that saw her was the boy that I "like" and kinda made me felt super self conscious about my appearance (I try to be as far from the beauty industry and cosmetics etc, thus i have notorious facial hair, moustache, a big nose, dont use make up, have crooked teeth, small acne scars, you know just a normal woman lmaoo) and I kinda starred thinking in the old ways (patriarchy: should i fix my nose? Maybe if i shaved people would look at me differently, maybe i should get rid of this black spots in my face in a expensive spa, because i feel like a goblin and maybe i would be more loved that way) and I hated it, it scared me, and couldn't shake the thoughts, and kinda feel jealous of beautiful woman, i wished i could have and feel what they do, but I just know that that's just a lie, but idk I kinda feel terrible, I don't wanna "hate her" just cause I felt jealous for a boy that maybe isn't even the greatest shit but idk how to stop feeling this way and stop falling in this misogynistic rabbit hole to the patriarchy again

Hi. My advice for you is to not beat yourself up about feeling this way, jealousy via internalized misogyny can happen to the best of us, even me (in the homosexual way but yeah). I'm sure you're right and you just look like a normal woman. What's really helped me over the last decade, when it comes not judging myself by patriarchal Barbie doll standards as they become more the norm and not comparing myself to other women for any reason, is to just kinda unplug from media as much as I can. Social media but Instagram and Snapchat especially, as well as like just Hollywood shit and film in general, in which women are made up 10x as heavily as males like 99% of the time and so many of these narratives are about some woman just orbiting some man.

The narrative that we (even me) should be competing for male attention is everywhere, even when it isn't explicit the beauty industrial complex has the male gaze as its main benefactor ($$$) and director, so much so that unless you're like Amish or have never seen an advertisement no one is really immune to the propaganda. This guy you like may actually be sweet and not a typical porn addicted moid but (and I really do hate to say this I wish it were different) the odds of that happening are probably slim.

If they aren't though and he's your future husband to me it still says something that you're feeling off about the tension this is causing in this moment. It's good you're at least sitting with it and considering your negative response to this other woman

Joe Myers: Living Life with a Love for the Subtle Things

It might be the most fatal filtering system in place in high school baseball. There have been Hollywood films about it. Men have made millions throwing it and others have lost careers because of it. It’s mysterious with its bite and impossible when its bottom falls out. Some call it, “The Kid Killer,” and others know it as the “ole bender.” IT is the curveball, a breaking pitch most fathers and coaches disallow for players in the younger leagues, but once it’s introduced the “deuce” immediately creates a contest between the cans and the can’ts. And Joe Myers couldn’t. The curveball was his Kryptonite. Swing and a miss most times.

Myers has learned a lot from his mentors in life, and that includes Dr. Carl Anderson. The Bishop Donahue first baseman was slick at the bag and he played through high school, but that was it. For playing, that is. By the time his younger brother Mike was putting up Hall of Fame careers at John Marshall High and the University of Charleston, Joe had become a local sportswriter and – that’s right – baseball was his beat. A dedicated husband, father, grandfather, AND community member, Myers was called into coaching, too, and he’s evolved into one of the most dedicated sandlot instructors in Marshall County. Joe has a scout’s eye, so he sees those rare and raw talents most kids don’t even know they have, and he helps those players develop into prospects with legit dreams. The vast majority of kids on his teams, though, will never be big leaguers let alone college athletes, and many of them come to the ballfield only to escape the troubles that exist outside the foul lines. And that’s just fine and dandy with Coach Joe because he believes every kid should get the chance to take their swings, even when life is slinging those curveballs.

A young player named Landis Dean recently reminded Myers how beautiful the game of baseball can be.

Why, in your opinion, is baseball the greatest game?

I am sure that baseball is the greatest game for me. I could ramble on about its parallels with life itself: Following the rules, working well with others, dealing with failure, etc.  Instead, I'll share a story: I still help coach Little Leaguers, and last summer I helped develop pitchers on a team of 9 and 10-year-olds. Mustang League limits pitchers to two innings per game, so you need three guys. But I like to use more than that.  So, I started working with a youngster named Landis Dean, who was extremely raw but willing to learn. He worked hard and at long last got a chance to pitch in our eighth game. My starter had lost the plate, walked two guys, so Landis was debuting with runners and first and second, nobody out in a tight game.  "Go get em, kid," indeed.  The first batter worked the count full before looping one off the end of the bat into no-man's land between the mound, first and second base. In Mustang League we call that a single, unless somebody kicks it -- then we call it a double. The two runners were off to the races. This one time, though, my second baseman raced in, dove and caught the ball. We threw it smartly around and, sure enough, turned a triple play!  I'll not forget the look of joy on Landis' face when he came running to the bench. I doubt he'd ever heard the term triple play before that day, but all of a sudden, we had another pitcher.  There's just a subtle magic to baseball that I don't find anywhere else.

If you could suggest one thing for a young player to do daily to become an above-average ball player, what would it be and why?

Catch the ball. If you can catch the ball you'll be in the lineup of any rec league team. Find a buddy to toss with, or just bounce a ball off a cinder-block wall. Have the ball in your hand at night while watching the Pirates and smack it into your glove. Feel the ball, be the ball.

Joe had the chance as a sportswriter to cover his younger brother, Mike, when he played for John Marshall and the University of Charleston.

Should Barry Bonds be in baseball’s Hall of Fame in Cooperstown? Why or why not?

I wouldn't vote for him. He's actually represented in Cooperstown with various artifacts -- record-breaking baseballs and bats -- but he knew the score when he decided to use performance-enhancing drugs. Bonds basically eliminated himself from induction.

What is your favorite sports movie and why?

Bull Durham. Funny and spot-on from a baseball standpoint, and a love story thrown in for the ladies. The mound visit scene was classic.

Family, of course, always comes first with Joe, and they do love to root for the Mountaineers together.

What’s the best thing about being a grandfather?

Grandparents have it made. It's our reward for raising kids that somehow lived to adulthood. My grandson Emmett is the best part of our world right now, and I can't wait to see what the future holds. May he be a pitcher? If only ...

The Myers family, including his wife, daughter Angela and son Joe Jr., enjoy a lot of functions around the Upper Ohio Valley. Read the full article

From Luis García-Abrines New Haven, February (whatever the day may be) 1957 Dear Distinguished Genius, It’s a while since I wrote, years in fact, and naturally you did not reply. Adolfo Salazar told me you were His Royal Highness, or something like that. I think you will know who I am. My father was a doctor to you and your family. I think he treated your ears. Unsuccessfully, I fear, because I’ve been told you are quite deaf. When my brother Adolfo finished studying at Stanford and went to Mexico I told him he should look you up and he did just that. And to end this introduction, I should say that I know all the Buñuels except for you and your family. And that’s enough of that, for Christ’s sake! I am writing this time to send you an article I’ve written about you. I’m quite annoyed, because I asked your nephew Leonardo to send me some information, and to write to you to clarify some details and see if I could publish some photographs, etc. And that monster hasn’t written to me for months. If there are mistakes in my article you will have to shout at him, not me. You should also shout at the editor of Yale French Studies, because he cut out precisely half of it. The background to the article is brief. I am at Yale teaching Spanish Literature and the aforementioned journal asked me to write an article on Spanish film. I told them the only interesting thing about Spain was you and that, if they wanted me to write something, it would be about you and only you. They accepted, and when Leonardo and his wife came to stay for a few days at my house, I discussed it with him and now you know the rest. Please believe me when I say that I wrote the article out of the greatest admiration and respect. If you don’t like it, even bearing in mind all the aforementioned extenuating circumstances, please forgive me. My intention was to celebrate Spain, Aragón and Luis Buñuel, in a journal that is well known throughout North American academia. The anecdotes they have published were told to me by your brother Alfonso and by José Camón. They didn’t publish others that Ángel del Río told me, including the one about how you hypnotized him and turned him into a lion. So, I am pretty annoyed about all that too, believe me. One thing I’m quite pleased about is that they haven’t cut much of what I said about your mother, Doña María, of whom I am so very fond. She, as you know, regards everyone as good, she simply doesn’t understand malice, the result being that she is the only truly good person in the whole of Zaragoza. I’m also sending the article to your mother and to Alfonso. I know he will say it’s utter rubbish. I know him well. Every year here at Yale we screen Land Without Bread, An Andalusian Dog and The Young and the Damned. We also occasionally screen This Strange Passion and Robinson Crusoe. Last year I wanted to give a lecture on The Golden Age. I wrote to the Museum of Modern Art in New York, but they wrote back saying that they didn’t have a copy and that, in any case, it was banned in the United States and had never been screened. I would really like to show it at a private screening for the Faculty here at Yale. Nobody knows about it here, and they bust my balls going on and on about Le Sang d’un poète. Can you provide a solution? If it didn’t cost too much, I would gladly have a copy made for me, with your permission of course. If you were in New York and had a couple of days free and were interested, you could bring it along and give the lecture yourself. That would be really wonderful. Although, to be clear, I should let you know that Yale doesn’t pay much for lectures. I don’t think they paid Stravinsky much either when he gave a lecture at Harvard on the poetics of music. They would give you precisely $50, which would just about cover your transport costs. All board and lodgings would be covered by Yale: the department would hold a dinner for you and invite the Faculty; the Dean would hold a small drinks party for you, with all the whole Faculty again; and I would be completely at your disposal naturally, as would my home so that, if you came with your wife or one of your sons, they would be able to stay with me. Let me know what you think. It would make me very happy if you like the article; and I send my warmest greetings to your wife, your children, and to you from your unconditional friend, Luis García-Abrines 137 College Street, Yale University New Haven, Connecticut [PS] Do you have an address for Mantecón and Millares? I have a palaeography question and I wanted to consult with them before I publish an article on fifteen-thcentury falconry texts. Here’s a jota in your honour, if you haven’t heard it already: Saint Lawrence sat on the pyre And said to the Jews in ire: Throw more wood on, you bastards, be bold, For my balls, they are growing quite cold Let me know if you’d like more copies and I’ll send them. I’m enclosing a programme and supplement for Don Adolfo Salazar. I haven’t written to him for years. Please ask him to forgive me. I will write. I’ve had a very Baroja-esque life. I clashed with my family, with society, with politics and with the Church. I left for Paris, where I lived for two years. Then I got married and came to the United States. I’ll have to write to him and hope he can forgive me.

Jo Evans & Breixo Viejo, Luis Buñuel: A Life in Letters