ARE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE LIVING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS?

Cool, me too.

I’m assembling a community of like minded humans who can relate to the feeling of their own flesh+bone matter constantly contending with their sentient consciousness in a bid for power and control over their decisions and emotions… and/or humans who love other humans who continuously battle their own prefrontal cortex and endorphin creators for a bid at happiness…

come… rest here, weary traveller. find out more below ⬇️

delivered in a clear & chaotic voice of authenticity, my content centers around conquering challenges made into marathons by, often times common, mental health symptoms.

FIRST EPISODE: MY ROTTING TOOTH THAY ANXIETY AND FEAR HELPED ME AVOID

i didn’t explicitly reveal in the video… but I lived with a rotting tooth in my skull for months until it finally fell out of my jaw, months after my first botched root canal. 🙂

EPISODE TWO: STUPID WACK TAXES AND SHOCKINGLY I END UP MORE POOR!!! BUT I DID IT! (spoiler alert)

this new editing style for the 2nd video is going to land so ✨wildly✨upon your retinas…

i wanted you to FEEL what I feel and understand what those closest to me experience when I bang their lines with a new story of hardship overcome, as friends often do 📱🧠📱

unexpectedly entertaining & a true visual representation, a reflection, of the way I often perceive and process information and life😵‍💫

EPISODE ONE… was the prototype

for a fleshy & meaty ep 2: TAX TORMENT

(because it IS and ISN’T that serious) 🫠

I also fought a bug i guess… because spring sprung all up on me…

SO JOIN ME IN BEING BORDERLINE MANAGEABLE!

You can support the channel by stubbing & turning on notifications so you’ll know when my new video drops. I really really appreciate your not being a jerk about the ad, thanks.

That feminine urge this, masculine urge that ….

Yeah, okay , cool

But what about the Lunar urge to ritualistically disappear every couple of weeks ?

A woman and her boyfriend were arguing when he shoved her in front of a train. “I don’t deserve this! I don’t deserve this!” the woman screamed over and over, according to a witness. She held a chunk of flesh in her hand while pleading for help. The man fled the station. Her feet were found on the tracks.

I hate men.

The prevalence of male violence means that the chances of a woman telling the truth about a man hurting her is INFINITELY more likely than the chances of her lying, but people will still believe the man over her

the sadness will last forever.

richard siken, boot theory / little women (2019), dir. greta gerwig / lily king, writers & lovers / kate baer, and yet: poems / gracie abrams, block me out / tim kavanagh (x) / anne boyer, what resembles the grave but isn’t / molly brodak, a little middle of the night / phoebe bridgers, funeral / 9-1-1, 5x13 / ingmar bergman / james baldwin, giovanni’s room / the national, sorrow / house, 5x24 / fortesa latifi

what do you mean ‘what happened in india between john and paul?’ THIS is what happened in india between john and paul

Why is it that we are told to fear the witches and not the men who burned them?

if barbie belonged to GLORIA and she lived in a DREAMHOUSE does that make barbie gloria’s DREAM GIRL ??

Can't seem to clear my head..

"me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic" but its saiki in literally any pairing

Vigil - 1x04 || 2x02

I am proud of this one. Thank you for your feedback!

My video editing style is a reflection of the way I personally “see” the world. It’s a visual representation of my perception and the way I receive information. I’m📱calling you, watcher, and identically I’m 🗣️🧠calling the recesses of my own mind and displaying them delicately and deliberately so you can see it too. It’s lovingly intimate to show you the magic and intensity and vibrance with which I see the world, all nestled right behind my cornea.

“Welcome to my portal in my perspective…” my bio, my videos, my captions, my effects, my music choice, my stories, my backgrounds, my personal details… i want to take you with me new friend. I’m so excited to MEET you. my weavings spell so many scintillating slow burning and bewildering secrets tucked discreetly between the ruckus and chaos. if you care to look closer 👁️💕 next episode, i promise I’ll even let you in the house.

I am having such a good time creating things for someone I know will love it and understand it.

Maybe that’s you. 🥹 👍🏽

channel below ⬇️🧠💕🙂‍↔️ < (this is a spin btw)

life is brutal enough, if you don’t like it.. just scroll on pls

I wish schools offered classes on what being a "normal" is like. 

I'm told that a "normal" amount of pain is zero. Just like how the "normal" amount of wishing you weren't ever born is also zero. It's news to me that food isn't supposed to "itch" or "hurt". Just like going numb in one or more parts of your body from sitting in one position for too long isn't "normal". Why did no one tell me sooner that passing out isn't "normal"? Why did no one tell me sooner that "normal" people only take 10-20 minutes to fall asleep, and sleep around 6-9 hours? Instead of my version of "normal" where it takes hours to fall asleep only to stay asleep for 2 to 4 hours at any one period of time? You're supposed to get one period a month, which is manageable with a few tampons or pads a day and lasts 3-6 days. What I'm told is not "normal" is having periods that show up multiple times (if at all) per month that last for a few days to weeks at a time. Which is only managed with adult diapers that are changed multiple times per day. These are all things I had to find out later (after being diagnosed with my medical conditions), like a moron who was late to the party. 

Thoughts on the Alysanne is Maegor's daughter AU? I feel like it has some interesting potential, and it vastly recontextualizes different parts of Jaehaehae (I do not like him sjsjsjs) and Alysanne's relationship (such as Jaehaehae's treatment of their daughters) but I wanna hear what you think about it!

I’ve touched on this a bit before but since you actually want to hear my thoughts, allow me to present to you my Jaehaerys Is The Goddamn Worst, And Alysanne Annoys Me Too: An Essay lmao but my answer is basically “yeah all of what you just said.”

I think it makes Alysanne much more palatable (to me) as a character because as she stands, she just fixates on forcing her daughters through these fucked up marriages at too young an age bc it traumatized her to be married and pregnant at 15 too but she’d never admit that being a willing participant in her own kidnapping by her brother-husband was the single worst thing that ever happened to her, and because Alysanne doesn’t want to admit it (and Jaehaerys would never see it as wrong or a mistake) F&B really shies away from delving into the fact that Alysanne is as deranged of a mother as Cersei is. So as she stands, she’s very flat to me because she’s presented very flatly and inconsistently. She’s so in love with Jaehaerys, she’s maritally raped by Jaehaerys, she’s a loving and doting mother, she forces her daughters into marriages when they’re the same too young age she was, she accuses her teenage girls of being scheming whores then gets angry when her husband accuses their teenage girls of being scheming whores, and worst of all we are just told “Maegelle tells them to make up so they do” so we don’t know why Alysanne gets over all of this. What is the point of riding a dragon when you never use that dragon to protect your daughters from unwanted teen marriages? We’re just not given a good enough justification for why her behavior is so weird and frustrating towards her daughters.

Make her Maegor’s daughter though…most of her behavior as an adult makes more sense. Like a worse version of Rhaenyra’s childhood almost - a father desperate for a son, but lowkey obsessed with his daughter, who makes all his hang ups about his parents the problems of every woman around him, except Maegor is out here blood sacrificing and torturing and starting wars and forcing babies on wives he discards quickly and brutally. Then here comes Jaehaerys on a white horse green dragon to save her from the horror her life has become, and he loves her so much he runs away with her even though Alyssa says they shouldn’t marry because people won’t like it. And they have beautiful children, and a beautiful marriage, and build a beautiful kingdom.

Then her pregnancies start getting dangerous. Gaemon, then Valerion, die. Alysanne thinks of the shriveled up mutants she called brothers, if Maegor’s taint has passed to her. Her perfect husband ignores her no, and forces Gael on her. Alysanne remembers that he said nothing to Rogar when Alyssa died, merely wept. Then her daughters start to die. Daella, Alyssa, Viserra, all within a few years. Then Jaehaerys makes Saera watch as he murders her boyfriend, calls her a whore, and says Alysanne cannot follow Saera to Lys. Alysanne thinks of Maegor torturing the Harroways over Alys’ presumed infidelity. Jaehaerys says he’s sorry, and her daughter badgers her into forgiving him, and she remembers how she helped Jaehaerys badger Alyssa into forgiving Rogar. Not two years later, Jaehaerys passes over Rhaenys. Alysanne thinks of how she was never enough for her father, how she felt so superior to Rhaena banished to Dragonstone and resented by Aerea, yet there she is dragging Gael away from court because she can’t stand to be with Jaehaerys. How her father was surrounded by dead women and dead babies and how Jaehaerys is surrounded by his own dead daughters, but surely she did the right thing, surely Maegor was worse, surely the realm is better off? Is he right to pass over Rhaenys? Is she enabling a man just as monstrous as her father? She will never decide, because Maegelle will guilt her about keeping Gael isolated at Dragonstone, and Alysanne will do as she’s told, just like Rhaena, and Alyssa, and Jeyne, Elinor, Ceryse, Alys, and Tyanna, just like every one of her daughters.

I do get why Alysanne is Alyssa & Aenys’ and not Maegor’s. The weird Targ babies, the line not descending from Visenya, Jaehaerys and Alysanne being held up as the perfect Targaryen couple specifically because they are brother and sister and dragon riders. I do even think canon Alysanne is likely traumatized by her time as a hostage on Dragonstone, and the ensuing war, and the trauma bond that caused with Jaehaerys, and it makes her idolize Jaehaerys, and then he isolates her at Dragonstone so he can swiftly and safely marry, groom, and knock her up. It’s not like,,,, a fun time, and it’s enough to make anyone crazy and weird about their daughters, but I think having her father be Maegor makes Alysanne herself much deeper because it gives her, as the most beloved Targaryen queen, a blood tie to the most hated Targaryen king, and a marriage to the most beloved Targaryen king. It fits better with a lot of the themes of the main series (again, imo) - forcing the spotlight on the outsiders to see how the affect the story from behind the scenes. The fall of Aegon’s sons, and The Long Reign, not told from the PoV or to serve the PoV of any of the kings or princes, but of the queen that tied them all together.

baldur’s gate 3 really is the game of all time for the gays who want to celebrate both sad pathetic wet men AND women’s wrongs