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hwnglx · 5 months

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skz love life update?

here you go anon ♥︎

who in stray kids is dating? dec '23

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

bang chan

is he dating? 4osw, 9ow, 6op, pagosw, ju, 7ow, 7op

no, he isn't. bangchan is someone very very careful.. about his actions, about who he lets his into his life and who he decides to dedicate his time and energy to. i'm getting this feeling that right now, his main focus is on his self-development as a person. being a more generous and giving man, making sure to always do the right thing, standing strong as a leader, work hard and tirelessly in order to secure a better future for his team. his focus isn't on relationships right now. he's putting his effort into being a good influence on the people around him, and isn't interested in starting anything romantic for now.

minho

is he dating? 4owrx&kingocrx+10ow, 4oc, 5osw, kingop, knosw

my god, what a mess.. my brain kept going, yes he is, no he isn't, yes he is, no he isn't. i can see there is someone in his life, however things seem to be pretty complicated for them. there is this sense of instability and a lot of immature and overly emotional reactions going on, which is causing the relationship to tire minho out. he's trying his best to not let the negative emotions consume him, but he's feeling kinda hopeless about this connection. he's focusing on work in order to distract himself.

the knight of swords just flew out, even when i stopped shuffling.. i'm getting bad energy from this person i can't lie, they seem very impulsive and obnoxious. minho feels like they're provoking him a lot and making his irrational sides come out more, which he hates. very messy energy for him.

changbin

is he dating? 7oc, 4osw, 9ow, 3ow, aceoc&dev, 7op, aceow&4oc

no, he isn't. changbin seems to have some hesitations towards dating. he might be the type to get obsessed or overly attached to people once they start engaging romantically, and he doesn't really like this feeling of losing himself in that emotion. he feels like love is a pretty emotional manner for him, and he doesn't like that standing in the way of everything else in his life. like once he dates, they're on his mind a lot, he can't focus on much else. losing "control" of himself in that way, makes him feel like he's turning into a "worse" version of himself. (struggling to express this in the right words, english third language lol bare with me) he's consciously making the decision to lay low and not start anything, although he seems to have a lot of people interested in him. he's deliberately delaying and waiting it out.

hyunjin

is he dating? 8ow&5op, hier&queoc&7ow, kingow&mo, 4oc

no, he isn't. but, still holding on to the same person after twenty light years (almost)

i don't think i've ever read for any idol who screams pisces energy (esp venus) the way hyunjin does.. he's literally just allowing himself to be ran over and led on from this person he can not let go of, even if his life depended on it ☹︎

this person has feminine energy and is likely to be a water sign, they seem to be a pretty powerful figure, someone wealthy or with a lot of authority. he's still trying to talk to them sometimes, but the person isn't really giving him much back. he's feeling lonely and pretty empty, but he's still very attached to them. he's scared to end things, and afraid of losing his grip on them.

there also seems to be someone with more masculine energy and fire placements who could play a signifcant role for him. however, whatever they have seems to be very uncertain und confusing. the four of cups in the end is showing me, that hyunjin is feeling very dissatisfied, but trying his best to push his intense emotions aside.

jisung

is he dating? know&kingow, pagop, 6osw, 10ow, 4ow&3oc

no, he isn't. he seems to have recently moved on from a relationship, that might've caused him a lot of self-doubt and insecurities. jisung often gives me this slightly awkward energy when it comes to dating, because he subconsciously puts so much pressure on himself to satisfy the people he's with.. he's easily inclined to feeling like he isn't doing enough. like they aren't happy in the relationship, or believe he's very lacking, or not being the best partner. he struggles with that pressure a lot and doesn't like it, which is why he ends up distancing himself in order to "run away" from that negativity.

the four of wands and three of cups is a pretty good sign though. he isn't really lonely, and still surrounding himself with friends. he often gave me this vibe of being great at remaining friends with his exes.. it's likely he hasn't ended the relationship on very bad terms.

felix

is he dating? 4oc&fo, dev&6op, 7oprx

no, he isn't. felix is trying to take a more light approach to love right now, because he can easily engage in unhealthy and toxic habits, especially when it comes to himself. he's a huge people pleaser. he doesn't like hurting or offending people, so he ends up being nice to everyone, which can quickly give off the wrong impression or send misleading signals to his suitors. he's bad at being direct and truthful about his feelings.

he's trying his best to not give into these bad habits of his, but it isn't as easy. tbh, his energy is pretty confusing right now. he himself seems very lost on how to proceed, it seems like he's either being all "whatever, i shouldn't care so much", or blaming himself a lot for creating so many problems with his unresolved inner issues..

seungmin

is he dating? sun, 2oc, aceop, char, 2ow

yes, he is. seems to be the same person i picked up on first time i read for skz, very stable and sweet energy for these two. things are looking harmonious and happy. they have a nicely built foundation of loyalty, seungmin's partner trusts him immensely and vice versa. they give each other a lot of strength and push each other to be more confident in their pursuit of challenging tasks in life. with both the two of cups and the two of wands here, it seems like this relationship is very much based on mutual feelings of love and affection, as well as mutual goals for their connection. they're ready to hold on to each other for years to come. such pleasant energy, really rooting for them.

jeongin

is he dating? know&6oc, 2osw&lov, queop

hmm, no. not dating. but, i can see there's someone with feminine energy and earth placements in his life, who he's having something with. it seems to be a more physical connection, where they don't wanna put the label "boyfriend/girlfriend" on it. they're likely to be older than him, pretty mature energy.

(jeongin didn't rlly wanna share much more, he's just having fun ☺︎)

#kpop tarot #stray kids tarot

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femmefatalevibe · 11 months

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Hello!

Hope you’re doing great today.

How do you become your best self- like operating in your full Potential? There’s a girl I know of who’s super popular on campus and she’s great: a model, may be doing pageants one day (I encouraged her), and is super smart. Recently on IG I saw she’s at Harvard Business school studying and she has a major in Political science.

I’m an English major - couldn’t attach myself to any legal studies because it wasn’t for me and I get insulted by family that I should be doing something other than English (they look down on the major).

So I find myself comparing myself to her because I am trying to do different clubs, and speak up and be all that I can be. But I’m not seeing anything changing for me.

I get over looked a lot, and it’s a new school for me (I’m a transfer student) so that’s added.

And I’m so lost.

I often looked down on my degree, I do believe I should be a speaker or go to galas and study things that holds influence. To be a woman of change but I don’t see that. I haven’t gotten any scholarships for holding events for clubs, nor do I get recognized.

I feel like I’m not doing enough and I feel inadequate in my abilities (I literally took a creative writing class with fifteen other poets for a special class and the Professor would constantly nit pick at my writing and say I have to revise - and the other students would be praised for their writing. And I actually thought I was a great poet til that happened. And he’s a poet himself, and well known so that hurt. And was embarrassing cause my peers weren’t helpful or encouraging either. They would just stare at me while he critiqued my work).

Not sure who I should be.

I’m not even good at the things I thought I was good at.

But when looking at my acquaintance- I see such great things going to happen for her in her future (all well deserved).

Hi love! You sound like you're doing great for someone in university, honestly. Most people, especially at that age, do not take the time or energy required to self-reflect and think critically about how they can improve/ thrive in their environment instead of blaming external circumstances for any obstacles they face. You sound very emotionally mature, which I'm sure will take you far. Having so much uncertainty and little support is so difficult, so know that your feelings are valid regarding why you feel uncertain and like you're losing time in this current moment.

While it is easier said than done, comparing yourself to others is a waste of the time and energy you can be spending on ideas, hobbies, and activities that make you happy/help you reach your goals. Please know that people putting you down for being an English major is very closed-minded. There are so many career paths you can pursue with an English degree (signed someone who almost did one, lol) – copywriting, PR, social media/content strategy & creation, UX & technical writing, broadcast journalism, reporter, editor, screenwriting, etc. Also, he is one poet – that is an opinion, not a general consensus. He might be a professional and have considerable skills under his belt, but that does not make his words gospel. Writing quality can be fairly subjective. However, the way he singled you out is awful – I would talk to an advisor about this unprofessional behavior.

The best things you can do in a situation like this are three-fold:

Focus on taking care of yourself. Block out what others, especially critics, think or say about any choices you're making that don't hurt anyone else. Try to establish some healthy routines (meals, walks, workouts, studying, skincare, reading, etc.) to feel more in control of your day-to-day life

Sit down and reflect on the activities that give you energy, what you're passionate about, and the goals that you would most like to achieve in the few years after university and the immediate ones while you're still on campus. For example, it sounds like you're interested in writing, public speaking, and fancy events. Find resources to get good at these skills and ways to get yourself in your desired work environment (internships, temp service work for special events, etc.) Maybe consider potential career paths like PR or speech writing. Consider creative outlets like making a podcast, TikTok, or Youtube videos.

Make it a priority to develop confidence in yourself and an unwavering sense of self-trust. I feel like an old lady saying this, but you're so young and have so much time to figure it out. Everyone has different histories, traumas, resources, and advantages/disadvantages in this life. Spending time ruminating over those of others and comparing notes is taking away the energy and creativity you need to pour into constructing your own life and identity.

Hope this helps xx

#femmefatalevibe #college student #college advice #career advice #career path #life skills #student life #life path #life lessons #life advice #career tips #self confidence #self concept #q/a #goal setting #healthyhabits #self esteem

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mbti-notes · 1 year

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Anon wrote: INFJ girl here, this question is going to be a little long. Is there any way to be "aware" (if that's the word I'm supposed to use) that someone is heading for a grip of inferior function? Or someone notices that it is approaching and thus manages to avoid it?

I ask this because since the beginning of the year I have been actively taking care of my body and food, with the aim of improving my aesthetics and the general quality of my health (physiological, emotional, etc.). I don't exaggerate in my workouts and I don't practice severe restrictions on my diet, I allow myself to eat sweets as long as I don't overdo it during the week, I don't count calories, I always try to be aware of the physical signs of my hunger and I daily make notes of my meals in my diary to avoid emotional eating.

However, in the past during a phase of my teenage years, I've been in a pinch of Se and been obsessive and extreme about my body. I spent almost the entire day practicing physical exercises and didn't allow myself to eat anything other than what I considered healthy because I wanted to be flexible and beautiful (thin like a friend of mine who had lost weight and I felt envious of her body), which led me to many I often show off my flexibility so that others will be amazed at me and I will get the approval and attention I crave.

I got it into my head that I needed to be "productive" and "dedicated" to the maximum 100% of the time, I couldn't have rest days or relax a little on the diet, which also led me to other extreme behaviors typical of the inferior. endlessly cleaning and arranging the furniture in my room, to the point where I felt physical pain in my body. Back then, I remember thinking it was perfectly normal to do this and taking it as evidence that I was an extremely goal-oriented person, which was clearly me deluding myself and avoiding the factual reality of the situation.

I don't do that anymore nowadays, but just out of curiosity and who knows to guarantee it in the future, do you have any tips on how to be more attentive to the signs so that I can understand and change my mindset? I'm afraid that some event in life will shake me so much that I'll succumb to this state of mind and lose all the progress I've already made. I know INFJ's are prone to emotional disconnection and tend to be myopic to evidence that they are over-controlling when they abuse Ni. Thanks!

-----------------------

When INFJs realize how good they are at self-deception, it's only natural to worry about getting caught up in it again, so I understand where your question is coming from.

Let's say that you happened upon a brochure about eating disorders at the supermarket and then realized that your behaviors matched up with the symptoms of a particular disorder. The brochure taught you the rule that "xyz behavior = unhealthy". This may be enough to prompt to you stop it, because knowledge is power, after all. But does this brochure tell you anything about how the disordered behavior arose in you, where it came from, or what caused it? No.

The purpose of function development is to increase your self-awareness to the point where you not only understand that you have a problem but also understand how that problem arose. Have you reached that level of self-awareness?

For a pattern to repeat itself, the conditions that made the pattern possible in the past have to be the same or similar enough to trigger the same reaction from you today. What were the conditions that gave rise to your disordered eating and exercising (Se grip)? Generally speaking, disordered behavior is often a failed attempt to address a legitimate psychological/emotional issue. What issue was the disordered behavior meant to address? Have you really gotten to the bottom of it?

You describe the difference between Now-You and Old-You, but I don't think the comparison goes deep enough, which is why you're still unsure of yourself. You said you were driven by craving for approval and attention, as well as by envy of people you admired. This sounds like an honest enough description of your motives. However, it leaves some important questions hanging in the air:

- WHY exactly did Old-You crave approval and attention so much, to the point of self-punishment? Are there still situations that trigger this craving in you today and do you have a healthy method of handling those triggering situations?

- Why did Old-You rely on social validation to appraise personal value/worth? Do you still do this or have you adopted a different method of self-appraisal? If there's a different method, do you know whether it's a healthy method?

- Why did Old-You think in terms of "hierarchy", i.e., compulsively categorizing everyone along brutal judgments of who is "superior"/"inferior" or "better"/"worse", and how to be "perfect" at the top? Do you still think in this way today? If so, why? What do you gain from it and what is the cost?

- Why did Old-You believe that the most important thing about people and/or the most important thing people have to offer up is their physical body, to the point of devoting all time and attention to perfecting it? Do you now recognize how superficial it is to treat people merely as bodies to be used for pleasure, as well as how this attitude might interfere with the formation of fulfilling and meaningful relationships? Is this related to sexist beliefs about what women are meant for?

- Why did Old-You believe that being a cheap imitation of another person would lead to you being seen/praised as special too? Do you still fail to recognize this logical contradiction and keep trying to be like others, with the only real difference being that you don't try as hard as Old-You did? What is your identity, really, when it is just a patchwork of qualities you appropriated from others?

These questions go deeper to reveal the conditions that gave rise to the disordered behavior. If you're unable to answer most of them, it's likely you still haven't gotten to the bottom of the problem yet. If the underlying causes of the problem haven't really been addressed, then, yes, it has the potential to rise up again. You say you have better motives now, which is good. However, remember that people can be motivated by a multitude of factors at the same time. Self-awareness involves being fully honest with yourself about all of the factors.

#infj #se grip #approval #self worth #self awareness #ask

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rabbitindisguise · 1 year

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After a couple hours of self reflecting I realized that the kink group I was trying to be a part of was (through no fault of their own) contributing to my utter insanity over the past couple of months

I think the combination of trying to seek approval and emotional flashbacks just made it impossible to function. On one hand, it pushed me to talk about things I was avoiding talking about, but on the other I was avoiding talking about them because the little goblin that lives in my brain wants to sabotage everything I love by making the worst way to say things the most appealing for no reason.

And it's so easy to be like "I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine" that it's hard to notice that I'm losing out on hard won progress for . . . nothing . . .

I don't have anyone to blame but myself for it. I don't know what's worse about that: I could have prevented it and didn't, or that the worst moment of the past three years is connected to me finally being willing to talk about a minor uncomfortable thing that had been bothering me for awhile. And I can't believe I have to be grateful for even a scrap of self control that could have made the situation much worse- I could have lashed out even more, or completely destroyed any amount of respect or chance to gain respect or any affection for me whatsoever, and it's chilling. I have a migraine appointment a couple hours from now and my main focus is trying to pen myself in to not do anything else stupid, deleting all of the advice I got from generic Relationship advice from the internet and reminding myself to never google anything ever again, and just laying in like, paralyzed fear in bed.

And in some ways it finally slotted something into place that I've been trying to hammer home since forever, that if I have something that upsets me and I get clarification and it makes me feel better that's the whole fucking point. That if I trust someone more than anyone else then they're a good person for me to be around. That if someone makes me happy that is a sign that I'm loved and cared for.

I feel like for good long time I've been acting on the script I was being told that I had to do in order to not be hurt. I didn't know any other way to function. Now it's like . . . Instead of protecting myself, I need to protect the people I care about from me. And no one seems to get this. My therapist, my friends outside of people close to me- they're like "oh! You seem fine! You seem nice!" and I don't know what to do to get them to stop saying that. I wouldn't feel like I needed a reality check on what I want to say if I was a nice person. There is evidence that I am not a nice person that people refuse to accept. It makes me worry that my friends are not nice people (excluding, again, Zach who mostly just goes hmmmmmm in a reassuring way) which is the insanity again !!!! Why is my first impulse to think everyone is mean but me?

I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't know how to prevent this from happening. Every time I think I catch it, there's just a worse unexpected problem. I think I'm never going to be done. I'll always be sitting here trying to do the basic normal human person thing of not feeling the dread that something is wrong around me and I don't know what it is.

Having followers on Tumblr, trying to get approval, trying to be acceptable, respectable, to get access to resources from the government, it all makes me insane. There's some kind of undercurrent to everything that's like, if I talk to a human person in person I'm going to explode in private. And it can be panic attacks where I take it out on myself, or being cruel to people I care about, or so many other things, but there's an equal and opposite reaction to meeting people that causes this. I used to get so stressed visiting Zach (don't anymore, now it's a relief compared to Strangers) that I would spend the month after absolutely out of touch with the material plane of existence.

The unfortunate thing is the best solution I have right now is to lean into self directed panic attacks. It's the most effective way to manage things. If I spend the whole time panicking about that, there's no potential to direct it elsewhere. I'm going to have to start inducing one on purpose to get it out of my system after every scary interaction outside my house. And that's insane! It's insane. I'm tempted to not go out this weekend or ever again, frankly. I'm really scared of myself. I don't know how I could ever confuse someone I care about for something potentially dangerous to me, and I don't know why my brain reacts to people like a pathogen or something. I feel like I'm in one of those movies where someone is in a harmless situation acting like they're getting mauled because they're on a lot of drugs, or someone running through fun house mirrors, or getting sedated and confused about the doctors saying gibberish.

It's frightening that I feel like it would be super easy to get stuck in the insanity spiral again as I'm trying to untangle this. Thankfully, something reassuring is that this might just be the Enormity of a feeling I've successfully beaten back many times (fear of my parents), it was just so big it was hard to vanquish. I empathize a lot more with war veterans, I feel like I sort of get their whole . . . everything about stuff sometimes. For now I just know that home is safe, and everything else is Scary.

I am definitely taking a Lyft tomorrow to avoid going on the bus.

#personal #mental illness

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diosmio76 · 3 years

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What I Deserve (2) | soft Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky couldn’t believe his luck when he found you. So innocent, so alone, and so naive. He had been following you throughout the week, hell- he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore and you never noticed him once.

Pairing: Dark!Bucky x Reader

WARNINGS: +18, dub-con, needle use, stalking, fingering, kidnapping, kind of non-con (more dub-con but just incase)

Word Count: 3,076

A/N: my timeline on which version of Barnes is fucked up and a mix of everything honestly // my first ever time writing smut, and honestly I'm open to constructive criticism b/c I have no experience in this area LOLZ

You squeezed your eyes as you stretched your body. Feeling your comforter rise and fall against your skin from your movements. You hung your feet off your bed and stretched them before standing up. You did your usual set of morning stretches, were they done correctly? Probably not, but it was the thought that counts and the only form of self-care you gave yourself. You let out a sigh as you got ready for another day similar to all the rest. You don’t even remember what it felt like to be excited about waking up, but who were you to complain. You used the toilet as you went back and forth in your mind about nothing in particular, your eyes staring at your bed that was quickly losing the warmth it collected from your body. Once done in the bathroom you dragged yourself to your vanity, hearing the faint noise of cars on the street, you began getting ready for work. After changing and grabbing your tattered work bag, you began your journey with all the other commuters.

The day dragged on like any other, talking to coworkers only when they needed something from you. Hearing the usual remarks of “Oh, I didn’t notice you” or “I didn’t even see you there”, you got used to it but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you. Before you had time to dwell on it, it was time to go home. You packed your bag then began your walk home, following the same route you always take during the week. Taking a little solstice in the fact that you were just another face in the crowd, that fact made you feel as if everyone else was alone too. Once home you locked the door and dropped your bag, heading to the bedroom you changed into an oversized shirt and put on your slippers before heading towards the living room. You turned on the tv and lowered the volume for some background noise, making the short trip towards the kitchen to make dinner. You rarely got messages on your phone unless it was from your mom or your phone provider wanting you to update your old phone, so you scrolled mindlessly through various social media newsfeeds. You munched on a vegetable as you waited for your pan to heat up. You tried to not feel bad for yourself, you were the one to blame for the lack of social life but you were in too deep. Too set in your ways. You stared at the steaming pan as you imagined moving across the country.

“Yeah right” you said aloud to yourself as you finished cooking your dinner, eating the food but not really tasting it.

~~~

You repeated the same routine the next day, unbeknownst to you today was the day that Bucky decided you were ready. It didn’t take him long to find a house isolated by miles of forest. Despite its unassuming traditional exterior, the inside was modern as he enjoyed the impersonal nature that the style provided. He spent the majority of his time there making sure the house was locked and secure in case you tried anything. The thought made him laugh a little, knowing you didn’t have it in you but he didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been going his way lately, and finding you was like the universe was rewarding him even more. At first, he considered getting to know you, and doing the whole flowers and dates thing but decided he didn’t have the patience for all that waiting, he’s been waiting long enough and he deserved something good. He settled on a much easier method. Breaking in was easy, old apartments like this barely gave him any trouble. He even had someone hold the building door open for him, just his luck.

The lock felt weird when you opened your door but you didn’t think anything of it, dismissing it as another sign of the building’s old age. He watched from afar as you went about your usual routine. He was beginning to become skeptical at how oblivious you were. He was practically behind you and you hadn’t even looked over your shoulder once. He even made some accidental noises by stepping on squeaky floorboards and didn’t get a reaction from you, he took this as another lucky break. You were tired today and fell asleep relatively easily, considering how long it typically took you to fall asleep. Bucky walked around your apartment as he waited for you to enter a deeper sleep, familiar with everything since he had been in here a few times since first spotting you all those weeks ago. He looked at your book collection, a mix of genres, and looked closer at the few photos you had on display. A majority of the old photos seemed to be of your family from decades ago. He picked up one that seemed more recent, the only one you had up that included you. He recognized the other two people in it, your mom and sister, both busy with their own lives. He already sized up your family and it would be easy to handle them if he needed to.

He walked into your bathroom and went through your medicine cabinet, finding nothing out of the ordinary besides a few nail polish bottles and various allergy medicines. Finally, he noticed the soft snores coming out of your room. He shut the cabinet, staring at his reflection for a second. He knew this was the right thing to do and had no bad intention. He softly grunted at his pathetic moment of self-reflection and took out a needle filled with a small dose of anesthesia. He observed you for a moment as you slept, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows relaxed, he considered for a moment how easy it would be to take you, but reminded himself of the bigger picture. He easily found a vein and waited a few minutes before taking you to your new home.

~~~

You squeezed your eyes shut and smiled to yourself as you thought about how well you slept last night. You hummed as you kept your eyes closed briefly noticing the absence of warmth that the morning sun provided you in the mornings. You thought nothing of it, too distracted by the fact that this was probably the best night’s sleep you’d gotten in months. Despite that you still felt a little groggy, you began to move but quickly felt something rough holding you down. Your eyes shot open as your breathing began to quicken. You became conscious of the rough restraints around your arms and legs. You awkwardly lifted your head up as you tried to look around, it looked like a basement based on the unfinished walls surrounding you, a single lightbulb hanging above you on the unfinished ceiling. You attempted to calm yourself down by deeply inhaling but knew it was a lost cause once you heard the shaky exhale leave your mouth. You knew you couldn’t break free from the knotted rope holding you down. You had weak arms and tried to use your leg strength in an attempt to kick yourself free but felt it begin to sting as it irritated your ankles from the pressure. You sat in a deafening silence and felt completely petrified.

You let out a whimper as you heard footsteps approaching the door. The door opened as you saw a tall, broad man approach you. You were too scared to notice anything about him and began to feel yourself shake, causing you to miss the way he hungrily reacted to your frightened state. A shadow was cast on you as he stood over the bed. From the corner of your eye, you watched as his right hand lowered the comforter to your torso and expose your shirt as you twitched at the action. He smirked in response, your eyes following his hand as it hovered over the comforter as though he was going to do something. It exited your line of sight but your eyes were fixed in place. You heard movement as he straightened himself before speaking to you for the first time.

“Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for most of the day” His deep voice filled the room as you kept shaking, too scared to answer. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and wondered if he could too, but he was too busy trailing his eyes over your torso. He noticed the way your nipples created peaks on your oversized shirt. He licked his lips before he moved his hand up to grab your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You did your best at avoiding his gaze keeping your gaze low, you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control your shaking but felt it intensify instead.

Still gripping your chin, a little tighter than necessary, and trying to control your shaking body got him hard. You looked so weak like this, it made him excited, a wicked smile painted his face as he looked down at your wide eyes and lips clamped together in terror.

“Look at me when I talk to you, doll”

You had a difficult time looking people in the eyes in general, so you lifted your eyes and stopped at his chin. You didn’t dare go any higher. He squeezed on your chin and heard him let out an amused chuckle. If you weren’t so terrified you would have noticed how out of place it sounded given the situation.

“That’ll have to do, for now, I can tell you’re terrified but you really have no reason to be. I only want to do what’s best for you- for us, I’m only doing what needs to be done.” He didn’t expect a response and stared at you as he let you sit with his words.

He took a moment and let his hand trail down from your chin. He felt the nervous swallow as his pointer finger trailed lower and lower. His finger deviated from its straight path as he placed his palm against your chest, pausing to feel your heartbeat racing. He almost felt sorry as he felt its frantic rhythm. He couldn’t help himself as he cupped your left breast. His thumb gently circling around the hard bud. You scrunched your eyebrows and scolded yourself for getting pleasure from his action. His gentle touch was a strong contrast to the situation he had put you in.

His finger continued its journey down and stopped just above your mound. You swallowed as you felt his eyes staring at you intently, not daring to see if you were right. He lifted his hand momentarily as he moves to sit next to you, hearing the springs groan under him, pushing the comforter towards the bottom of the bed. You get chills as warmth escapes, feeling the crisp air conditioning surround your body instead. Jerking at his touch, he returns his right hand to your body just below your navel this time. His fingers trace down until it feathered above your mound. You held your breath as if any noise from you would assure that he would continue his actions as if he would forget you were there. You felt his pause when his fingers hit the material of your cotton underwear. He slowly traces a short line along your clit, you ball your hands into fists wanting to make him stop. Why was your body enjoying this?

You hold your breath as he gently pulls them down till they were at your knees and returns his hand to its previous place. The empty room is quiet, amplifying the sound of both of your breaths. You feel his middle and ring finger move lower gently stroking your folds. You hear him let out a surprised huff as he continued stroking.

“I was gonna bring lube, but it looks like we won’t be needing it, huh sweetheart?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, he was right. You felt heat building ever since he grabbed your chin, but he didn’t need to know that. All you wanted to do was at the very least was cover your face, but felt the irritation of the rope on your wrists instead. He began back and forth on your heat for a few moments. The room now having the added noise of his fingers slowly speeding up as he stroked you. You shut your eyes as he circled around your entrance, you could already tell his fingers would be significantly bigger than yours. He slowly inserted a finger as you sucked in a quick breath. You could hear him let out a quiet groan as he watched his finger disappear into your hole.

After finding a rhythm he added another finger. You let out a whimper at the fullness of both of his thick fingers filling your hole. It stung at first, hurting slightly you wanted to try and stop his intrusion. Besides your finger, you had never had anything else inside of you. You felt slightly embarrassed by this when you were younger but as you got older you accepted the fact that your lack of social life was a major reason as to why you never had anything close to a romantic partner. Never being social enough to meet someone that you would want to be friends with, let alone sleep with. You felt as though you should tell this man, did you even know his name, that this was the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone before. Before you think any more about it you open your mouth, nothing coming out at first but it was enough for his eyes to go to your face. He slowed down his pace and had his eyes trained on your face waiting for you to speak as if his fingers weren’t leisurely stroking your soft walls in the meantime.

“I- I think I need to tell you something” The words left you slowly and your voice was shakey as you tried to speak and ignore your oncoming orgasm at his rough fingers stroking you gently. Why did you feel like you owed him this? You briefly thought to yourself. But it was too late to stop now.

He smirked at you as he waited for you to continue on. So far, you’ve shown him nothing but submissiveness. Cementing the fact that he made the right choice when he chose you. He didn’t plan on being this gentle with you originally but he couldn’t help it, feeling as though any other treatment would scare you away. His fingers never stopping their gentle strokes, he watched your lips as your quiet voice trembled on.

“I’ve never really, I haven’t done any of this before. I’m a virgin” the words leave you slowly, you gulp and still refuse to meet his gaze, scared for a moment that you would lose the gentleness he has given you thus far. You knew that wouldn’t stop him, but a small part of you hoped it would be enough for him to stop just for now. For the first time you decided to look at his face, still too scared to meet his eyes you opted to watch his mouth as you waited for a response.

To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. You had chosen to tell him this on your own, he didn’t even get a chance to ask you. He didn’t want to assume but based on his observations of you he had an inkling that this was the case. He felt proud of you, his perfect girl. He smiled gently at you in response. You shivered as his fingers paused their gentle strokes in you as he moved to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for telling me, my good girl” it sounded patronizing but your body thought otherwise. Feeling heat shoot straight to your core at his response. He felt you squeeze around his fingers at his response.

Once he felt that you adjusted to his fingers he began to alternate inserting them. Thrusting one and then the other inside of you. Your eyes squeezed shut, you never felt this close to cumming so quickly. Your eyes swelled with tears as you quietly sobbed, reaching your climax. Both of you watched as he pulled his fingers out of your sensitive heat. Covered in slick from your climax. You watched as he moved his fingers close to his face, smirking at you.

“Just a little taste for now,” he said he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck on his two fingers that were just inside you seconds ago. The empty room amplified the sound, your face felt hot as you watched the lewd act feeling your core still throbbing.

He reveled in your obvious embarrassment, humming at your reaction. He wiped his damp fingers on his pants as he got up. You blinked slowly, taking in what had just happened. You had enjoyed what had just happened but felt angry at yourself for that. He shouldn’t have done that, and you had let yourself succumb to his fingers so easily. He watched you, deep in thought with your eyes spaced out. His cock throbbed as if reminding him he needed a release too but he didn’t want to scare you. He had a plan, but you had just showed him that he didn’t have to be as rough as he initially thought with you. And he wouldn’t ever admit it but he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, as soon as he interacted with you it was almost as if he needed to handle you with care. Something that he thought wasn’t in his nature, but for you, maybe he’d try.

He felt his confident demeanor waver for a second, an odd feeling. He needed to get away from her and have a moment alone, so with a quick glance, he turned towards the door and practically ran out of the room without speaking to her.

Too busy thinking, you didn’t notice the foreign feelings your captor had just experienced. Only noticing this broad figure leaving the room as if he was late for something. If you weren’t so busy scolding yourself you would have wondered if you had done something wrong to elicit that action from him.

#bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter solider x reader #stalker!bucky #stalker!bucky x reader #winter soldier x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #soft!bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fic #bucky imagines #marvel imagines #soft dark!bucky #bean writes

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thechangeling · 2 years

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I totally think Jinx is autistic/adhd. Not that I need to list proof or anything. As an autistic person with adhd i should just be able to say I hc a character as autistic or adhd or having both because I identify with them and that's that. But I felt like making a list for me and my friends. This is based on the symptoms and traits that I personally have. You might not relate to all of this if you're also autistic or adhd or comorbid like me and that's ok. We're all different.

Note: Autism is usually comorbid with things like, psychosis, bpd and ptsd or C-PTSD and Jinx probably has some of those as well. However I won't be talking about that because im not diagnosed with any of those things. (I think I might have C-PTSD but I'm not sure.)

-She has meltdowns. The first clear example of this is in episode three and then twice in episode four. Although those meltdowns are clearly caused by flashbacks due to her trauma, the reaction she has afterwords reminds me of a meltdown and it's very similar to how she acted in episode three when she was told to stay behind by Vi because she wasn't ready. The crying and screaming mixed with throwing the box to me was a clear meltdown. Meltdowns aren't always stereotypical rocking back and forth and aggressively stimming. Something they're angry, screaming and crying and throwing shit. That's what my meltdowns are like.

-she's very creative and a out of the box thinker

-She's a good shot. Autistic people have the ability to maticulously focus on very tiny details. In my experience this can make you better at things like archery or shooting.

- She displays clear signs of emotional dysregulation which is a symptom of both autism and adhd (very intense emotional outbursts and drastic changes in emotions, I get this is also a PTSD thing but still)

- she hyper focuses on her projects and has a clear special interest in building her makeshift grenades and bombs and stuff.

- She talks to herself and inanimate objects. (I do this a lot, it helps me process my thoughts). I get that this is probably because she's having auditory and visual hallucinations but the line between living in your imagination and actually hallucinating can get blurry. Believe me.

- She moves in a very ADHD way. She's always traveling on the balls of her feet in a very bouncy hoppy way. She moves with so much chaotic energy, all over the place. Also the way she sits is very autistic, always propping her feet up, or leaning over and hugging her knees to her chest. People call it the gay way of sitting. She also moves her hands a lot when she talks.

- She loves things that stimulate her and give her dopamine. Ppl with adhd are lacking in dopamine so we tend to favor things that give you quick and large doses of dopamine like video games. I think this is why Jinx loves the chaos of battle, the fighting and explosions. She finds it stimulating. Basically flashy flashy boom boom make brain go wheeeeeee. This leads me to my next point.

-Jinx is sensory seeking. The stereotype is that autistic people are all sensory avoidant, unable to handle bright lights and loud noises, but some of us are the exact opposite. Like me. Jinx is a very tactile person, she always hugs the people she's closest to (Vi and then later Silco), she puts her feet on Silco's lap when they're talking in episode 4 and presses her face to his and strokes/touches his face in episode 9. She blasts loud music in her workshop and she clearly loves watching things go boom.

- She's different. A huge part of Jinx's character is that ever since she was a kid she's always been the odd one out. She has trouble fitting in and belonging even with her own sister, but she wants so badly to belong. This is a huge part of being autistic or being neurodivergint in general tbh. People don't really like Jinx except for Vi and Silico and even they lose patience with her at times because she's a lot. She's a "problem" she's a shit starter, she can't be controlled. Growing up autistic/adhd you constantly get the message that you're a fuck up and you tend to internalize that as you get older.

- She's impulsive.

- She likes being up high. This is something that's pretty common amongst the autistic people I know and it's also true for me.

- There is also the scene where she takes an idiom literally which is classic autism. "They did a number on her?" "oh yeah which number?"

-She's loyal. Loyal to Vi until her sister (from her point of view) leaves and abandons her and then extremely loyal to Silco until he threatens to kill Vi. And even then after she shoots him she still apologizes and clearly regrets it.

-She has a huge problem with lying. This could also be a result of her trauma but in my experience autistic people place signifant value on honesty and being honest. I know I do. Anytime she catches anyone in a lie, especially someone she cares about or even THINKS someone's lying, she loses it. I also don't think she ever lies in the show. She may fake vauneability to get people to lower their guards around her but she never actually lies.

That's all I can think of for now. I adore Jinx and my heart breaks for her. I just so so much of myself in her. Poor lost girl. She just needs to be loved.

@littlx-songbxrd @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

#jinx arcane #actually autistic #actually adhd #c ptsd #trauma #psychosis #bpd #autistic headcannons

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your-daily-biaswrecking · 3 years

Text

Needy

pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader (guest star Yoongi)

genre: smut, established relationship au

word count: 4.3k | reading time: 20 min

summary: Dating Kim Namjoon comes with its advantages and disadvantages. The later mainly being working so much all you get to see of him is in his studio. But you're a needy bitch. And if you have to get what you want while he works, you will do just that.

warnings: hard dom namjoon, bratty sub reader, cockwarming, daddy kink, dirty talk, degradation, praise, choking, spanking, unprotected sex, oral m.receiving, orgasm denial, studio sex, slight exhibitionism, aka the one where namjoon discovers he likes public sex and exhibitionism.

A/N: Amy=Army=reader because I prefer using a name instead of y/n

Masterlist | Read on AO3

Time slipping closer to the comeback dates meant missing-your-boyfriend hours grew more frequent. You never complained, just like he didn't either, but you were clingy by nature and finding any way to be even in the same room as Namjoon had become your top priority. At first, sleeping in his arms at night was enough. In about a week it became apparent that waking hours were paramount, so you started joining him for lunch. No matter how short and rushed it had to be. But the more he worked on the group's comeback, the less attention he could pay, always distracted and keeping your interactions to small talk. Eating with him wasn't sating your hunger anymore.

"I'm sorry, baby," he would say when he would realize you had been talking this whole time.

You honestly didn't mind. Simply wanted to be by his side. "It's okay, sweetie. Everything alright?"

He sighed and caressed your hand laying on the table. "I just miss you. I have to stay to work extra hours again and I won't see you again and I miss you. That's all."

You replicated his small, soft smile. "I can stay with you. I'll bring my laptop and we can both work together. That way we won't be alone."

Namjoon smirked. "You know I can't concentrate with you in the room," he declared with a low tone in his voice and slightly squeezed your hand.

Suddenly, you were fighting a smile on your lips while your eyes raced to the floor as if you were too shy to face your own boyfriend. Then you pouted. "No, we'll just work. I will be working too, I'll be so quiet, you won't even know I'm there."

And so you did. You took the small couch while he had his back to you, working on his computer. The sound of both of your keyboards was filling the room, along with the slight whispers of the music playing through Namjoon's headphones. It was after-hours and they went by mostly uninterrupted, except for the occasional visit by a manager or a member –usually the rappers– to deliver some type of message. The boys would smile softly at the sight of you, and you replied with a raise of your shoulders to state the obvious.

"Can I sit on your lap?" You asked Namjoon once after you had given up on your work and were battling falling asleep on that comfortable couch while you waited for him to call it a day, or more accurately, a night.

He pulled his headphones to the side and turned to look at you. "My lap?"

You nodded. "I'll just sit there and you can work."

"Don't you want to work?"

"No, I want to be in your arms."

He bit his bottom lip. He eyed you up and down and then looked at his monitor. He knew it wasn't a good idea, but he figured he would just sound like a straight douche if he declined cuddle offers from his girlfriend, after she had been patiently putting up with him distancing for the past few weeks. So he turned back to you and patted his lap.

"Okay, hop on, kitty. But if you don't sit quietly, you'll be in trouble."

You had to bite back that shy smile again. Namjoon was asking you to sit quietly yet just by the way he asked, he made you crave that trouble he promised. But no, you were a good girl. You didn't want to disturb his work, it would only stress him out more. You straddled his lap and huddled on his chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible so as not to restrict his movements in the least. You felt his big hand stroking your hair as you planted your head on his left shoulder, your nose close to his neck, tickling him with your warm breath. Before you knew it, you were asleep.

So now you almost didn't even bother pretending to work on that laptop of yours. Since Namjoon had been convinced that you could sit on his lap without causing trouble, and you had discovered how easy it was to relax when you were wrapped around him like that, you basically jumped in his lap right after you two settled in his studio. Namjoon played with your hair or gently squeezed the softer parts of your body every time he paused to think. He found it helped him work even better. His own little stress relief toy.

"Oh- uh… Sorry- um…" Yoongi squealed when he walked into the studio and saw the two of you tangled like so.

Namjoon turned to face the older member and simply shook his head. "Oh, she's just sleeping," he whispered.

Yoongi now opened the door more widely and stood up straighter to take a better look at you. "Oh…" he exhaled with a smile. "Like that?"

"Yeah… she can't stay away from me."

"Cute…"

At that, you decided to lift your head and look at Yoongi's general direction. "I'm awake!" you stated loudly then immediately dropped your head back down.

The other man chuckled slightly before he informed Namjoon on something about their manager, this and that, and left. Anyone walking into the studio was met with what appeared like an adorable scene that they quickly became accustomed to, and even your boyfriend seemed to think completely innocently of it now. Which meant you were the only one quietly suffering because of his cologne and the warmth of his crotch under yours.

You tried to sit there quietly. You tried to fall asleep. But it had been days since you and Namjoon had done anything other than work, and that promised trouble was becoming more and more appealing. You circled your fingertips at the base of his neck, contemplating whether you should grid yourself on him to get him to fuck you on that desk as a punishment, or be a good girl so that you don't lose your lap privileges.

But you wanted more than your lap privileges. You truly were so clingy, it wasn't enough that you were sitting on him like that; you wanted to feel more of him. You bit your lip and controlled yourself, catching your breath on purpose so that he wouldn't notice it had gotten heavier and warmer on his neck. You could practically hear his deep voice vibrating something like "you little minx" in case you exposed yourself, which in turn made your struggles even harder.

You squirming on his lap was probably registered as you squirming in your sleep by your boyfriend. Indeed, you kept your eyes tightly closed to play the role, too. You swallowed, again and again, excess saliva flooding your mouth from all the dirty thoughts passing your mind, like a dog dreaming of a delicious meal. But you stayed put. You sat quietly, just like he had asked. Because you were a good girl and you knew you would be awarded for that eventually.

"Baby…" you whispered with a pout in your lips. Today you had worn a skirt and as you sat on Namjoon's lap, the only thing covering your heat was your lace panties. Today you would get that award you craved the whole week. "Namjoon, baby…" you whined again to get your boyfriend's attention.

He looked at you with wide eyes, pausing whatever he was doing and sliding his headphones off. "What's that, kitten?"

Your eyes dropped down as your fingers played with the hem of his shirt. "I–" you gulped, "I want you inside me."

You heard nothing, no reaction. So you looked up again and Namjoon was just staring at you. "You know we can't do that here, kitten…"

You bounced slightly on his lap in protest. Luckily for you, you found out your boyfriend had already started to get hard under you. So you continued. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed yourself on him, making him suck in a breath.

"Ohh... I'm not asking for anything too much. I just want you inside me."

"Inside you?"

You nodded. "Yes, yes. I just want to feel you. Can you just… just put it inside me?"

Namjoon laughed. "Baby, if I put it inside you there is no way it won't lead to something more…"

But you shook your head frantically. For good measure, you ground yourself on him, too. "No, no, I promise! I won't even move. I'll just go right to sleep like I do every day. You know, you've seen how quietly I can sit like that. You can trust me, right?"

Namjoon bit his bottom lip aggressively as he watched you act all innocent and cute while talking about putting his dick in you. He took one too many seconds to answer, so you took the initiative to move your hands to his pants and unbutton them. His hands grabbed your hips. Not to stop you. Just to hold you forcefully as he processed what was happening.

"So you– you want to do… cockwarming?"

In response, you took one of his hands and guided it under your skirt, to your already wet core. His fingers felt your arousal through the lace. Suddenly, all signs of demur disappeared from his face.

"Hm, does your little hole feel empty without me, kitten? You want me to fill you up?"

You bit your lip as you nodded, your hands moving again to completely undo his pants and pull them down just a bit. You palmed him through his boxers and his fingers massaged your clit over your panties. You pulled his dick out and saw how it sprang up, almost to full hardness already. Quickly, you spat on your hand a generous amount and used that to pump him up and down a few times. Namjoon groaned and pushed your panties away, two fingers teasing at your entrance.

"Do you need prepping? Or can you take my cock as it is?" he asked you as he slipped his two fingers easily in.

"Namjoon," you moaned his name quietly. "Don't get me too horny, just put your dick inside me." He raised his eyebrows at your commanding attitude. "Unless you don't want me to be good," you added with a raised eyebrow of your own.

Chuckling, he pulled his fingers out and grabbed your hips again. He guided you over his dick. "Alright, kitten. Sit on that cock and don't. Move."

You sank, taking him in inch by inch, the thickness stretching you out so much it burned. You allowed yourself to moan out as quietly as you could, still struggling to fit all of him inside you. Namjoon kept a hand on your hips to guide you down, while the other caressed the side of your head.

"That's right," he praised you. "Take all of me, baby. I know you can."

With his encouraging words, you took a deep breath and moved down until your pussy had swallowed him whole, his head now nudging at your cervix.

"There, there… that's great," Namjoon cooed. He brushed his palm over your cheek and made you look at him. "How does this feel?"

"Oh, it feels good…" you said, dragging out the last word while letting your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your boyfriend gave you a sweet kiss on your forehead.

"So, did you get what you wanted, kitten?"

"Mm, yes, daddy, thank you," you moaned.

His thumb ran over your lips and he pinched your chin. You opened your eyes to look at him. "Now… will you sit there quietly and let me do my job?"

You nodded lazily. "Yes. Yes, daddy, I will."

Namjoon smiled and gave you a quick peck. He looked down, pushing your skirt out and adjusting it so that it covered both of you up. He put his headphones back on and you, just like you promised, laid your head on his shoulder again and sat there quietly. Your position ultimately not changing at all and it still seemed very sinless, with the only exception that you were now so deliciously full and finally sated.

You tried to calm your breathing down. You clenched and unclenched around him involuntarily and he released a warning groan in response. It was hard to stay still at first, but once you got used to his length stretching your walls, it was surprisingly relaxing. He was big and warm and the most comfortable thing you had experienced in your life. You had never felt closer to your boyfriend than at that moment. You loved it in a very possessive way.

From now on this would be the only seat you'd ever take.

Namjoon loved it too. He didn't expect you to actually sit still, secretly wanted you to act out so that he could teach you a lesson afterwards. But now you looked as peaceful as a baby breastfeeding. It was funny how something so dirty made you look so chaste, and how that in return made you look, well... hot. He sighed. He really didn't think he would be the one having trouble controlling himself. Your pussy was moving slightly around him every time you squirmed, and he felt every single thing. Yet you had managed to drift into a light sleep, your cheek pressed on his collarbone, your lips apart, your breaths long and warm on his neck.

So pretty… So cute. Namjoon would make sure to fuck you so well when you two got home.

"Hey, Namjoon!"

Namjoon jumped right as the studio door opened wide. He hands quickly grabbed your hips, ready to push you away and pretend nothing was happening.

"Oh, is she sleeping?" Yoongi whispered and walked closer to them.

Namjoon froze. He looked down, your skirt was still covering you up. Then he looked at the other man. He seemed blissfully unaware of what was going on in there.

And that, for some reason, made Namjoon's dick throb.

"Um, ye-yeah."

"Heh, she's so cute when she sleeps on you like that."

Namjoon bit the inside of his cheek hard. His hips moved forward on their own accord, pushing further inside you so slightly that the moment went by unnoticed. But not by you. A tiny whine echoed from your throat.

"Hm, yes. What's up?" he answered, his voice husky.

Yoongi started talking, but if Namjoon were to be honest with himself, he didn't hear a thing he said. All he could register was his dick getting even harder while your pussy got tighter around him. He tried to stay still as he stared forcefully into his friend's eyes. What if he realised?

God, the thought alone made him suck in a deep breath.

"Okay?" Yoongi's voice was barely made out inside the younger's foggy head. But he managed to nod. "Can you do that for me?"

"Hyung..." Namjoon sighed. Just as Yoongi frowned at his friend's odd voice, you moved around, clinging closer to Namjoon, cutting off his oxygen supply completely. "Yes! Yes, I will!" he literally choked out.

The other rapper gave him an up and down and Namjoon would never dare admit how his eyes on the two of you made his stomach shrink. But he would admit to how he felt ready to combust and if you weren't left alone within the next thirty seconds, he would no longer care about details such as privacy.

"Cool," Yoongi mumbled, moving back towards the door yet still facing you. "Thanks, man. I owe you one."

The moment the door clicked closed, Namjoon gasped hard, taking in all the air he was missing. His hands -still on your hips- held you tighter, tight enough to leave bruises, as he panted and moved his hips slowly into you.

"Stop pretending you're sleeping," he demanded. A couple of seconds of silence passed, and then he felt your lips gently land on his neck in a small kiss, trying to play innocent. He snorted. "You–"

"Everything okay, daddy?" you asked in the purest voice you could master.

"No!" he exclaimed, dropping his head back on his chair. He thrust up as much as he could, but since he was already buried to the brim, there wasn't much space to move. "No, I'm not okay!" he growled. You immediately bit your lip, pulling your head away so that you could finally face him. He leaned slightly forward but the moment his eyes fell on you, his head hit his chair again. "Move!"

"But, daddy, you–"

"Fuck, Amy, if you don't– move!"

His hands pushed you slightly off him, and he immediately thrust into you. Hard. You had no choice but to cry out. Another thrust and you felt like you couldn't hold yourself up anymore, falling on his chest and clinging to him desperately.

"Nam-" you tried to talk, but the man had found his position and was drilling into you at a never before seen speed. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and all you could do was have your jaw hung open and a moan escape freely with every hit on your spot. He was animalistic, growling and groaning loudly with no regards to the public building you were in, and most importantly, without even noticing your attempts to slow him down. You pushed your palms on his shoulders, trying to lift yourself, but in response, he just bit down on your neck and made you moan harder.

This... This is exactly what you wanted. Wasn't it?

"Namjoon, the door is unlocked," you managed to whisper while he was licking your neck up and down aggressively. He just hummed in response. At least he heard your voice. "What if somebody comes in?"

Your boyfriend moaned. He slowed down, his right hand leaving your hip to move higher up, ruffling your shirt, squeezing your breast and wrapping around your throat. You gasped right as he tightened his grip.

"Let them see," Namjoon mumbled. His grip around your throat tightened even more and his hips picked up the pace again. But now, you had no way of making any sound other than choking. Namjoon moaned louder. "Oh, let them watch."

He finally let you breathe and right away he crushed his lips to yours, pulling you deep down on his dick and grinding inside you. You had never seen this side of him before and you couldn't help but drip arousal around his base. Just seeing how into it he seemed to be made you get closer to your climax.

"Bounce on my cock, you slut. Isn't this what you wanted from the beginning?" your boyfriend growled in your ear and you whined, immediately obeying. Jumping up and down.

"Daddy..." you moaned for his attention, getting closer and closer.

A hard slap on your right butt cheek. "Faster. Do it how you know you wanted it." Another slap.

Leaning forward you found a new momentum to slide up and down his dick faster, and his breathing instantly changed. You looked up through your lashes at him, gawking at his expression, face hot with coy and pride.

"Like that, daddy?"

He groaned, staring right into your eyes. "So needy," he mumbled. "Such a desperate slut, constantly wanting praise. Is that what you want, baby? For me to praise you?"

You almost missed your rhythm due to the effect his words had on you. "Da... Daddy..." was all you could say.

He held you from the ass, helping you move since you were so close to cumming it was getting hard. "Hm? You want me to praise that warm, wet pussy of yours that takes my dick so well?" You had to moan. "So well-" he repeated, "-that I can't resist it?"

"Daddy, I'm gonna-"

"You fuck me so well, baby. Hm, is that what you want me to say?" Namjoon continued teasing. "You're so good..."

"I'm gonna cum!"

Suddenly, you were empty. Namjoon had pulled out of you and pushed you away.

"Oh no, baby. You don't get to cum."

Your mouth dropped open, the sweat that glistened all over your face probably evaporating at how hot it suddenly got. "Wh- what?"

The man in front of you gave you the most shit-eating grin you had seen in a while. He got up from the chair and stood in front of you. "What? You really thought you would be rewarded with an orgasm after everything you pulled?"

You pouted. "But..."

Namjoon held your chin gently and smiled down at you smugly. "You've been too naughty, sweetness. Now, if you get on your knees for me, I might make you cum when we get home."

You bit your lips so hard it hurt. "Daddy..." you whined in the most seductive voice you had in you, giving him your big, puppy eyes. But he just released your chin and raised his eyebrows.

"On. Your. Knees."

Gulping, you lowered yourself down. If Namjoon said knees then knees it would be. You looked up at him and he sighed heavily at the attractive sight.

"Now, open up for me, baby."

You opened your mouth and drew your tongue out as far as you could, which seemed to please him a lot. Grabbing his dick at the base, he ran his head over your tongue. Getting desperate again, you closed your lips around him and sucked the head. That earned you a hiss. His fingers were suddenly all in your hair, his head fallen back, as he picked up right where he had left. He pushed the first couple of inches of his dick in and out of you fast until you were used to it and you swallowed more of him in. You couldn't take all of him, but you didn't need to: the tightness of the back of your mouth was all Namjoon needed to feel from you.

"Oh, God…" Namjoon moaned and you knew the moment the atheist started to call out to God, was the moment he was getting close. You grabbed his hips to halt his thrusts and instead just suck. Suck him hard enough to slurp his own soul if he had one. Hard enough to swallow his warm cum right as it was released down your throat.

You opened up your mouth with a satisfied "ah" to show him it was empty. Namjoon smiled and fell back on his chair, exhausted. Knowing you needed to be as good as you could in order to be rewarded afterwards, you gently tucked him back in his trousers while still on your knees, looking at him proudly.

"Did I make you feel good?"

Namjoon chuckled, ruffling his hair. "I swear all you ever–"

A knock on the door followed but a member right away. "Hey, Namjoon-ah, when-"

You both turned with dread to look at the door, finding a mortified Yoongi standing to it. His wide eyes moved from the fucked out looking man on the chair, to the girl on her knees in front of him, and he very wisely decided to disappear behind the closed door again without a word.

"Ah, shit…" Namjoon mumbled, but you just laughed.

"You know, he's probably still waiting for that translation," you said, which made your boyfriend look at you puzzlingly.

"What translation?"

You bit your bottom lip to prevent you from laughing again. "Babe! Earlier… he said he e-mailed you some lyrics he wanted you to translate to English. You said you'd do it."

His face scrunched up to the saddest 'oh' you had seen. "I h– I didn't– I..."

You showed your teeth in an 'oopsie' way. "Oh, well... At least now he knows what took so long."

Namjoon moved off the chair and pulled you up with him. "I need to– I mean, I should probably talk to him. I don't know, say it wasn't what it looked like? Would that sound believable?"

You chuckled again, getting on your tippy-toes to try and fix his hair. "Looking like that? Not so much."

Namjoon looked at his reflection on the black screen of his computer to fix what he could. "You should go home, baby. I'll stay here to make this right."

"What? No, but you promised to make me cum when we get home," you whined like the spoiled brat you were.

But your boyfriend grabbed your jacket, waiting for you to wear it. "Yeah, but that was before you got me in trouble, you brat."

You pouted. "No, I'm not going."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed your arms to push them through your jacket sleeves. "Get home now, Amy, before I change my mind and not let you cum at all."

You were ready to throw a tantrum, but as you were guided toward the door, you just turned and looked at him very seriously. "Namjoon, I swear to you, if you let me go now I'll find a better way of getting myself off tonight," you threatened.

But he laughed. "Oh, okay. Tell me, do you wanna go apologize to Yoongi perhaps?"

You shrugged nonchalantly. "Perhaps. At least he'd let me cum, wouldn't he?" you commented as you opened the door and were ready to leave. But Namjoon slammed it closed again. His arms caged you against it as he loomed over you.

"I have a better idea. You go home right now, undress, get in bed and wait for me without touching yourself at all, like a good girl, and I'll make you cum until you beg me to stop," Namjoon whispered darkly. You seemed to consider it. "There is no alternative, sweetness. You'll do as I tell you."

So you smiled. You gave him a little kiss on the cheek and agreed. Well, at least he thought you did. Because you were definitely going to disobey him by touching yourself back home until you had wet your bed waiting for him. Waiting for the punishment he'd come up with then...

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phoenixtakaramono · 3 years

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So I'm here to say that I really love your Bingyuan fic! The research you do for it and share with us is just amazing! I also have a q regarding LBG. From SV we know that he felt admiration for his Shizun so do you think that if SJ wasn't cruel to him LBG's admiration would've grown into love and attraction like it did in LBH's case for SY? Which then also raises a question: would LBH/LBG fall in love with any Shizun who was kind to him? Or was he just drawn to SJ's type of personality. WDYT?

Hi there, Anon! I’m glad you’re liking the Untold Tale! Thanks for reading! I think it lowkey helps when the story I’m writing (in general) is from a culture I’m familiar with and that I know some of its language nuances (just general Mainland dialect; I’m unfamiliar with Shanghainese, the Beijing dialect, etc etc). So fortunately for me, as someone who is Chinese but was born in the Western side of the world speaking Mandarin to family and friends, emulating the Chinese aesthetic and atmosphere in TUT comes a little bit easier to me than someone who did not grow up with this culture. I bet if I had been raised in China, I would be able to write something even more multilayered and deep but, alas, the youthful rebellious me of the past hadn’t taken my pinyin and Chinese character writing lessons seriously so I can only communicate verbally and understand audibly 😫. It’s very special for us writers in fandoms to be able to write a story of a culture that we actually know and can identify with. But high key it’s been immensely fun injecting some references of things I’ve come to notice from watching period C-dramas and the C-novels I’ve read, and I’ve come to learn interesting things about Chinese history and mythology even I didn’t know! So the story really writes itself.

Shen Jiu (OG!Shen Qingqiu)

To answer your question 🤔, to be honest this is why the SVSSS fandom is great—because there’s so many interpretations of the original source material. That’s why we have our headcanons and fanfictions to explore these many different possibilities. So for me personally, I can see it happening both ways: *1) LBG does develop a crush/falls in love with SJ, or 2) no matter how SJ treats him LBG regards him respectfully or coldly. I think Possibility 1 is more likely, since SY transmigrated into SQQ and we saw what happened with “Bunhe.”

Now, mind, for Possibility 1 to be more likely to happen, the SJ in PIDW will have to undergo a massive personality change/ a change of heart/ develop a good conscience and will need to clean up his image aka clear up the massive misunderstandings from PIDW canon (like him being mistaken as a pervert for Ning Yingying, visiting whorehouses, killing LQG, etc). It’ll be difficult though considering who Airplane has changed SJ into for his stallion harem novel (reading through SVSSS, my impression of PIDW besides it being the harem stallion novel is that it sounds similar to a “dog blood plot,” where audiences tune in to see how the villains are brought to justice). I literally have a line from TUT in a future chapter where SY says this about SJ since I will resurrect SJ and bring him into the story for closure:

People like Shen Qingqiu naturally had a set of deeply-rooted values. If one wanted to change them, it’d be easier to just have them reincarnate. (—TUT, ch???)

At his core, he’s a flawed man (which makes sense with the underlying cycle of abuse theory, considering his upbringing and backstory). He’s jealous and petty and prickly. His image is that of a proud and cold immortal. In Chinese terms, he’s the type of character archtype who I can see being àojiāo (definitely not canon characterization; this is just a stray thought that amuses me) in a romantic relationship.

LBH will have to recognize that^, or be in a position where he finds SJ’s caustic side endearing instead. He will also have to be extremely patient with him (although, since the joke in SVSSS is that LBH is an incurable M, it shouldn’t be that hard).

A fun thing about OG!SQQ is that he’s the cannon fodder scumbag villain of PIDW. He’s the reason LBG blackened from a white lotus. And, as you know, villains aka antagonists aka bad boys resonate strongly with people for a reason. That’s why we see a lot of Enemies to Lovers tropes, etc. It squicks me to use this phrase but “the allure of dating a ‘bad boy’ is strong.” SJ is that type of bad boy we could identify as a “fixer-upper project” (ugh, that phrase)—even with the red flags and warning signs—especially for those said to have a troubled past with rejecting neglectful parental figures/ family members/ friends and have have not outgrown their wish to convert that sort of person into a loving, accepting person. When we want something we can’t or shouldn’t have, our desire for it grows exponentially. In fanfiction this is a concept writers and readers can explore safely in a world of the imaginary.

From a Meta Perspective

Although, if we look at it meta-ly, the cold and proud and/or knowledgeable Shizun (teacher/ master) character who comes to know love and “is redeemed” by whomever is the love interest (typically a cute and quirky girl who may or may not have started off as naive to the innerworkings of the Cultivation World and therefore needs an established and mature mentor to guide them) is a very well-known archetype for a reason in Chinese fan culture.

Seeing a terrible person change their ways and try to become a better person because of the influence of the one they love is also a popular depiction for a reason.

It’s almost like gap moe. The crueler and aloof one starts out as (arrogance is a staple), the more impactful the shift is when we see such characters soften their edges.

The draw of the sacred master/disciple relationship is that it’s taboo, so I think it’s fair to say that such a relationship in fiction is a popular trope precisely because of this aspect. From a writer’s perspective, the main appeal is to show that there is someone out there who can cause this respectful figure to lose control (undergo emotional change) and go to great lengths to protect his/her precious person. That precious person also has to fall into the “not like other girls” trope (so they can show the ML a different world he would not have seen the beauty of before). On the other side, we look forward to the point of the story where the love interest has their “Oh” moment and realizes their admiration has somehow shifted into love and attraction over the course of events.

Other Romantic Possibilities

It’s very likely. I personally like the fanon headcanon where anyone with Heavenly Demon blood running through their veins feels a compulsion to “obsessively fixate on one person” (TLJ —> SXY, LBH —> SQQ). Personally I don’t recall if this was canon or fanon, but someone had written something about LBH imprinting on one person in his lifetime on the account of his demon nature. And I like that theory (I think it’s likely more fanon than anything but it’s an intriguing idea full of possibilities!).

For him to fixate romantically on one person, I personally don’t think the prerequisite is just by being kind to LBH (but it probably adds to the person’s appeal). There’s probably other factors that go into this to capture the male protagonist’s eye, such as him finding someone attractive (or passes his own personal standards) and/or having good chemistry with that person. So I could see him being into other Shizuns and whomever else. Personally I also think there is appeal in the unobtainable. It’s one thing to have someone’s affection (see LBG and his harem of 600 wives who definitely aren’t shy about giving him affection), but it’s another to know you’ve earned the affections of someone you really like and respect (especially if it’s someone thought to be unobtainable).

As long as the writer can provide a plausible justification for me to suspend disbelief and they set up events to justify it, I can swallow just about any ship possibility. It doesn’t necessarily have to be SJ’s type of personality. (For example, I read a very good fanfiction before where the writer paired Luo Binghe with Ming Fan. Ming Fan, people!!! And they actually pulled it off! What a madlad! Mind, it’s Shen Yuan who had transmigrated into MF in that premise, but the writer set up events that showed how these two characters came to bond and develop a deep friendship which inevitably had LBH developing a crush on his shixiong. I use this as an example because this is the type of unexpected (crack)ship, but because the writer did their work trying to make it seem plausible, we can only admire their hard work and effort at pulling it off.)

As the saying goes, there are plenty of fishes in the sea! As the protagonist, LBH/LBG can have many OTP possibilities with just about anyone as long as the writer can make it plausible. It’s all about the character development and the story/ central themes they wish to tell with the ship!

(Note, these really aren’t hot takes, lol. I’m just having fun answering to this casually from the perspective of a writer. Thank you for your Ask, anon!)

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hot-wiings · 3 years

Text

The One Where Armin Arlert And [Y/N] Yeager Never Get To Say The Words They Really Wanted To Say.

Death Trigger Warning.

Edited: 1-25-2021

Armin took a minute to compose himself before he entered the infirmary. He rubbed his sweaty, clammy hands up and down on his pants, wiping the residue liquid off as he took a minute to calm himself and figure out how to compose his words to the person he was looking for. He pushed the doors open and walked in towards the people he was looking for: The Yeager siblings, [Y/N], and Eren.

"How's the arm holding up?"

"It's fine. You know me, I regenerate like crazy, it'll practically be good as new by tonight."

Armin decides to address Eren first, far too nervous to address you and his thoughts. Your arms were crossed as you sat on the edge of an infirmary bed, your eyes never leaving Captain Hanji as she looks over your leg to see if anything was broken. Eren would have crossed his own arms, but he had one in a sling, his eyes, however, were glaring at the back of your head, burning an imaginary hole.

"Doesn't even matter, Captain Levi is making me sit out tomorrow's expedition."

"Rightly so!"

You bark your words out at your brother, upset that he was upset at his punishment. His punishment for starting a fight that is. Your dumb brother overheard you telling private information to the other girls in your squad, private information about your love life. Ultimately it resulted in an argument, which led to a physical fight, where you broke his arm and it felt like he twisted your ankle.

"You're sitting out the expedition because you injured yourself in a fight that you started. Not my fault Captain Levi saw me beat your ass."

"All right [Y/N], it looks like your ankle is all good. You might've just pulled a muscle, I would stay off it for the rest of the day, but you should be good to go on the expedition tomorrow."

Hanji stood up from her crouched position to go check on Erens arm again. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't happy that you had broken Eren's arm. It was completely thrilling to observe how fast the boy's injuries could heal, completely exhilarating to have the chance to do further research on him.

"And stay out of fights when Levi is around!"

"Wouldn't have been a fight if [Y/N] knew how to control herself."

"Says the boy who threw the first hit."

You jumped up from the edge of the bed and pulled your sock and boot back onto your foot before you took off out of the infirmary to go to your bedroom and rest as Captain Hanji said to. Armin followed you out into the hall, hesitant to say what he wanted to. The thought had been floating around his head ever since after he saw you and Eren fight, ever since Captain Levi had sent you both to the infirmary followed by a few choice words. He had been too far to hear what was said, but it soon spread among the squads that Eren was being forced to sit out tomorrow's expedition.

"Maybe you should sit out tomorrow's expedition too."

You stopped in your tracks as soon as Armin's words hit your ears. You quickly turned around to face Armin with furrowed brows. Your lips tipped down into a frown. Hurt and upset at what he was proposing. Was he really on Eren's side of the argument? He didn't even know what the argument was really about.

"Why should I sit it out?"

"You pulled a muscle in your ankle, your weak and-"

"Wow, thanks for that."

Armin backtracked his words. He was nervous, that wasn't what he meant to say. Not even in the slightest. You're growing upset expression and aggravation only caused Armin's nervousness to grow more.

"That's not what I meant. I just, I don't want to lose any more comrades, I don't want to lose you. Petra died in the last expedition, so many people died in the last expedition. Eren would be so upset if you died, just sit out."

"I can't believe you. Do you hear how selfish that sounds? I don't care if I'm weak, we signed up for this knowing what it entitled. Captain Hanji said my ankle will be perfectly good by tomorrow morning, not that I'll need to be on my legs much anyway."

"[Y/N], I didn't mean it like you're weak. I just think you work better when you have Eren with you. I just think you should stay with Eren, makeup from your fight, let your ankle rest more."

You ran your fingers through your hair as you looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep your gathering tears in. Whether he meant you were weak in general, or if he was referring to your ankle didn't matter. Nothing hurt more than having the guy you like tell you how weak you are. Nothing hurt more than having the guy you like tell you that you should sit out on the sidelines while other people risk their life.

There was nothing more insulting or embarrassing.

"You and Eren can screw yourselves. It’s a pulled muscle, not a sprained bone, I'm going on the expedition. Captain Hanji thinks I'm well enough, and Captain Levi wants me in his squad. He trusts me, he thinks I'm strong enough, so I'm going. End of story."

You turned around and made your way to your room, you would've run off but you wanted to let your ankle rest like Captain Hanji had said to. The tears make their way down your cheeks once the door is closed. Why did he think you were so weak? You had progressed and grew so much. You knew you were weak, so you worked harder. You knew you were weak so you sought out advice and help from Captain Levi.

You were a far better soldier than you were at the last expedition. You would show him. You would show him how good and strong you were.

It wasn't long before the morning of the expedition arrived. With a heavy heart you had rolled out of bed and pulled your gear onto your body. You fastened each strap and buckle, your mind racing equally fast as the leather material. Expeditions were dangerous, you knew this, you knew the risks. You knew the risks and the horrors, the fear, and realities of the statics of you not making it back. Yet, you also knew it was your duty to go on the expedition.

You quickly brushed your fingers through your hair as best as you could before pulling it up into a hair tie making a bun as best and neat as you could. Captain Levi hated when people didn't look presentable, or rather he equated presentable with clean. You briskly walked down to the cafeteria and grabbed a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. It wasn't exactly your favorite, but it was what there was available. You sat down at your usual table with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. Eren didn't look happy in the slightest, still bitter over getting benched. Armin looked, guilty, sad almost, whereas Mikasa had no clue what exactly had happened between you all, but undoubtedly, she was on Eren’s side.

You knew Armin hadn't meant to exactly call you weak. The fact was, you and him were some of the weakest soldiers inside of the Survey Corps. But you had gotten stronger, so much stronger and better. It hurt and deeply bothered you that Armin didn't seem to take notice of that. You wanted him to see you as someone strong and worthy.

You didn't dare look Armin in the eyes, and he didn't dare look at you. Instead, you kept your eyes casted down on your bowl, eating every last drop of sludge while you ignored Armin and your brother. It wasn't tasteful, but it did provide energy that would be needed for the expedition. As soon as you were done taking in your breakfast, you stood up and wrapped your green jacket around your body.

"Good luck. Kill a titan for me."

You bring your head up to where Eren and Armin were. His eyes were upset, but if he was he didn't voice it. It didn't matter, he thought you were weak. He thinks you’re weak and pathetic. You don't address him, instead you respond to your brother. Your brother, who despite being angry at you for getting him benched, was not going to allow himself to let you go beyond the walls thinking he was angry at you. He wouldn't let you go beyond the walls, risking your life, without partially fixing things. You could resume your hatefest as soon as you come back for all he cared, but for the time being, he wanted you focused on the mission.

"I will. Gotta make up for you’re stupid ass getting benched."

"Whatever. I love you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I love you too. Quit acting like I'm leaving, I'm gonna come back, that's a promise."

"I know. Just keep Armin safe for me."

You turned on your heel and stalked off towards the stable, where most of the soldiers were already gathering to get their own horses prepped and ready to leave. Eren didn't see it, but you had a small smile on your face. Just the knowledge that he wasn't that mad at you, was like having a heavyweight lifted off your shoulders. You hated going into expeditions when your brother was upset with you, while you planned to keep your promise to Eren, there was still that chance of dying and charging into the unknown. With him being mad at you, was like dying with regrets.

You grabbed your saddle and made your way into your horses stable. You saddled her and placed the reins on her face before you adjusted each buckle and hook correctly, then you pulled her outside and placed one foot on the bootstrap before pulling yourself up and swinging your other leg over. You guilded your horse out towards the rest of your squad, but not before you passed Armin.

"Hey."

"What?"

An indecipherable expression crossed Armin’s face. He wanted to tell you that he was sorry for arguing with you yesterday, he wanted to say it wasn't out of thinking you were weak, but out of his feelings. His deep, rooted feelings for you. He didn't think he was strong enough, that was the problem. He wasn't strong enough to protect you, and not having Eren there to back you up either bothered him. That was the real reason he wanted to stay back, and that was what he wanted to tell you, yet the words got stuck in his throat.

"Stay safe, okay?"

"Yeah. You too."

You click at your horse to get her going over to Levi's squad who then guides you outside of the walls. The first hour of riding went well. No distractions, and a lack of titans. It was too good to be true. You should have known there would be complications later on in the mission, a lack of titans meant you would later on come across a hoard. Unfortunately, among that hoard was an abnormal.

You saw it running directly at Armin. The strings in your heart pulled strongly against your chest. He had this, he had this didn't he? You had gotten stronger, you wanted him to see that, but that meant you had to treat him like he had gotten stronger too. It only takes one quick look in his direction too see there were too many titans, his squad was wrapped up, and it looked like some of them were missing, they needed help.

You quickly pulled on your reigns, changing course and charging after the abnormal. Once you reached Armin you pulled out your ODM gear to attach yourself to a tree and slice the abnormal titan’s neck open. It didn't stop there, not when there were so many, you sliced and diced, getting to as my napes as you could. You stopped for just a second, catching your breath on a tree branch. You thought they were all down and taken care of, you did it, you took down so many. You turned over to Armin and threw him a smile. 'See, I'm strong, now'.

Your smile dropped as you saw a titan approach from behind him. Quickly, you sprung into action by using your ODM gear, and Eren’s words rung in your head. Protect him, protect Armin. You just were not quick enough. This was a lifestyle you chose. You knew the risks, you knew the dangers, you knew the statistics of not coming back. You were not quick enough, all you could do was knock Armin out of the way, taking his place instead. The titan smacked you harshly against a tree making your body fling back as Captain Levi sliced its nape open meticulously.

Your body began to slide down the tree, but you knew you wouldn't be making it home. Something snapped, you heard it. Something broke, and it aches all over. You put your hand on your stomach to see a sword sticking out. Your own damn sword. It must’ve gotten knocked around when you flung in the air. Armin quickly flew over to you and placed his hands on your stomach, the blood seeped through to his fingertips, no matter how hard he applied pressure.

"It's gonna be okay, you've gotta make it back. You promised Eren. You promised him."

"Armin... It's- ok- Okay. "

You struggled to get your words out through the pain. Your body felt so cold, so numb. You wanted to tell him how you felt, the insurmountable feelings you'd kept in and desperately hidden for so long. You couldn't find yourself to say the words, you just wanted to shut down. Shut down and close your eyes, shut down and rest. You slowly moved your bloody hands up to his face, and cupped his cheeks. He hand moved his right hand up and kept your hand there as tears slid down his cheeks.

"Don't close your eyes, please don't close your eyes!"

"T-Take care of, him. Mm-kay?"

Your uttered out your very last words. You barely managed to get them out, but you desperately needed to say them. You needed to go knowing Eren was safe, you needed to go knowing he would be taken care of. You needed to go with a mind of peace. That would be enough so long as he kept Eren safe. You needed your death not to be in vain. Your body didn't give him time to reply, it didn't give him time to say yes, I'll take care of him.

"No don't. Please... Please don't. Please stop! Please!"

Your eyes fluttered close, and the hand he held against his cheek went limp and grew ever so cold against him. You were gone, you were dead. Armin pulled you, and your still blood pooling body against his. He wrapped his arms around you and let his sobs dissipate into your now cold neck. You were gone, he had to get back to moving. You were gone, he needed to toss your body with the other dead bodies, should Captain Levi say they had the room to carry you back home. You were gone, and it was his fault. You were gone, he would have to live with this forever.

Eren stood by the entrance to the stables. He had just finished cleaning out all the stalls and refilling all the troughs with food and water, before Captain Levi left he told Eren to use this opportunity to clean out the empty stalls. He suspected that they would be returning soon, it had been a long time since you left. Eren would be lying if he said he didn't worry about you being outside the walls without him. He feared that one day you would face the same fate as your mother. He felt more at ease knowing Mikasa and Armin were out there with you. They'd help you, and you'd help them. You'd keep each other safe, and you all would return to him.

The sound of hooves could be heard as horses rode into the Survey Corps, headed straight to the stables where the hungry and thirsty horses could finally take a rest. Eren spotted Armin and gave him a wave before he kept on searching for you with his eyes. Armin slid off of his horse, not giving care as it walked off in search of water. All he cared about at that moment was talking to Eren.

He had to tell him, he felt like it needed to come from him. You were gone, you were dead. You died in his arms, and he wasn't quick enough to save you. He had to tell Eren what happened, but how do you even begin that conversation. How do you tell your best friend that his little sister is dead? That the last of his family is now gone?

"Why are you covered in blood? What happened?"

Eren's words fell on nearly deaf ears. He didn't hear him, not really, just the moving of his lips. He was still drowning in the shock. Your blood was on his clothes, your blood was dried against his skin. He hadn't been able to even bring your body home, and he wasn't even sure what had happened to your horse.

"Where's [Y/N]?"

"She- Eren... She's gone."

"No. You're... You're wrong. [Y/N] wouldn't- She promised me."

Eren clenched his fists at his side. There was no way you were gone, you couldn't be. You were all the family he had left. You promised him that you'd come back. There were still things he needed to do with you. You were supposed to help him rid the world of titans, you were supposed to get married and have him walk you down the aisle, he needed to watch you grow old with him in a titanless world. He was your big brother, he was supposed to protect you.

"Eren, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. She was a hero, she saved me. She died a hero."

"You bastard!"

With one quick motion, Eren pushed his clenched fist across Armin's face. He pulled it back and hit him again until he was on the ground. He hits him again and again, in a rageful frenzy. Armin just laid back and let Eren have his way with him. Every cut and bruise, he deserved. He deserves this. He should've saved you. He should've protected you for Eren. He should've been better.

"She loved you! She loved you, you bastard."

Tears streamed down Erens cheeks as Mikasa and Jean pulled him off of Armin. Armin let his tears trickle down his face and mix in with his own open wounds. The tears stung but it didn't match the ache in his heart. You felt the same way about him. You felt the same way about him the entire time, and now he would never get to tell you he returned those feelings.

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morethanonepage · 3 years

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what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is).

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses.

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it.

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad.

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire) & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]).

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”. and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh).

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me.

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general.

#given my insanely high standards i think i should be rewarded for not shredding EVERY fic i read frankly #finnpoe #youandthemountains #longpost #rebloggable if you so choose lol

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mirrinbelde-shitposts · 3 years

Note

Hello!!!! I'm here to participate on your game!!! And, I think you're an Aquarius Mercury just like me!! Thank you and take care 😘

My chart:

Hey!! I'm not an Aquarius Mercury :( but I do have lots of Aquarius in my chart ^^ Have a nice day!

Welcome to your reading. Please remember to send feedback.

First impressions when looking at your chart: it's almost a bowl shape, meaning that there's approximately 180ª with planets and the other 180º are devoid of planets

SUN IN AQUARIUS

As an Aquarius, you are quirky, aloof, dreamy and humanist. People may think you’re awkward and detached, which is probably true for you since your Sun is at 0º of Aquarius. Your originality and uniqueness are probably the things you love about yourself the most. Your mind is also quite agile, which allows you to fulfil your dreams. Nevertheless, we cannot ignore the fact that the Sun is in Detriment in the sign of Aquarius. This means that the Sun can struggle here, making you feel confused as to who you are and how you can express yourself. You very much value your independence and your rebelliousness. However, you can be stubborn to a fault when it comes to your thoughts and opinions.

SUN IN THE 8TH HOUSE

This is the house of Scorpio. With the Sun here, you may appear a bit Scorpionic, namely, you can embody that more powerful, secretive, intense vibes very associated with this sign. Whilst Leo is about yourself, Scorpio relates to your connection with others. By bonding with other people, and experiencing their emotions, you can further discover your own identity. Scorpio is known for its intensity, so you probably have a big need to know everything about those closest to you, but that’s not an issue, because people seem to want to disclose to you. Additionally, the 8th house rules other people’s money and inheritances, so you may be in charge of others’ monetary resources. You may even get a career in this area. Lastly, this house rules everything secret and occult, so there’s a big chance that you’ll learn more about yourself by delving into the mystic arts (such as astrology, for example).

PISCES MOON

With this placement, you acquire intuition, empathy and emotional intelligence. You are a caring person who seeks to help others comprehend and verbalize emotions, which contrasts heavily with Aquarius but flows well with the 8H influence. I'd say that you're the type of person that everyone goes to for advice. However, you should take care not to spend a lot of time being the “therapist friend”, for your high sensitivity can cause you to get overwhelmed by others’ negative energies. You probably need your alone time in order to recharge your batteries. You can be quite emotional and you're often with your head “in the clouds”. Ethereal is a good word to describe personal Pisces placements. On the other hand, if not developed, you can be manipulative, insecure and lie a lot, especially with the 8th house.

MOON IN THE 8TH HOUSE

This placement very much goes strengthens your interest in the occult and secret. It is a karmic position for the Moon; perhaps you have a very strong relationship with your mother. Additionally, it ties in well with Pisces' emotional abilities. You seek someone with whom you can form a deep emotional bond, someone with whom you can be vulnerable and share your secrets. It is also a good position for therapists because it allows you to connect well with people’s feelings and needs. Nevertheless, as I mentioned before, this can give you emotional control over people, which can lead to you manipulating them, even if you don't mean to do so. This can be especially true because your moon is not harmoniously aspected (conjunct Saturn, square Jupiter and Pluto). You can also benefit a lot from an inheritance, especially from your mother.

AQUARIUS MERCURY

This placement, even more so than your Aquarius Sun, brings you idealism and originality, as well as ideas that have the power to change society and the world. You are a free spirit and independence is definitely something very important to you. Your mind is all about being innovative and creative so you can make the world a better place. Your ideas may not always be viewed positively by others but you don't let that discourage you. People may also think you're a little off and detached but you just keep on doing your own thing, which is admirable. You may truly be ahead of your time, especially since your Mercury is in retrograde, which means that your ideas may be much more accepted after you communicate them. You have an agile mind and a good grasp of many different subjects, so people may enjoy speaking to you and learning your take on various fields of knowledge.

MERCURY IN THE 8TH HOUSE

The house of Scorpio. With Mercury here, your gain intuitiveness and inquisitiveness. To me, it is the Detective placement. It’s easy for you to understand what someone else is thinking because you have a knack for this kind of thing; telepathic, almost. You have a big interest in anything that has to do with the hidden and the human mind. Psychology would also be a good career. I’d say you think and listen much more than you think because, in your head, you’re connecting all the dots. There can be some fear in you, perhaps because of negative experiences in past lives. Due to this, you prefer to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. Also, it is said that this placement can cause misunderstandings in contracts, especially regarding inheritances.

SAGITTARIUS VENUS

This Venus sign is independent and adventurous; it seeks someone with which to have fun and deep, philosophical conversations. You highly value morals and honesty, which is not strange, given that these things are ruled by Jupiter, hence associated with Sagittarius. Feelings are also very important to you. You may appear too detached and aloof, but that's not how you truly feel. Also, you can be viewed as flight and non-committal, but that is not true; you may simply take your time to actually understand whether or not to begin a relationship. Nevertheless, relationships may not be a concern of yours because of your need for independence. You very much enjoy travelling and acquiring knowledge to broaden your horizons. You may also date foreigners or have an interest in them.

VENUS IN THE 6TH HOUSE

Here, Venus gives great importance to things associated with Virgo: routine, health, job. It is important for you to have your routine and to plan things. Once you acquire a habit, it is difficult to let go of it (“Old habits die hard.”). Similarly, it is important that you incorporate activities with your partner in your daily schedule. Funnily enough, it is routine that makes you miss things you no longer have: for example, if you lose a friend, you may miss them more because you used to talk every day. You enjoy working on projects that make you feel like you’re doing something meaningful; your chosen profession must fulfil you. You want a harmonious workplace that makes you feel happy to work. Also, you have an eye for detail. There can be a need to obsess about your health, as well as your loved ones’.

MARS IN LEO

The red planet does well here. Leo wants to achieve great things in life and Mars gives it that determination and willpower needed to succeed. You probably do what you want and often act to stand out. This is a very bold, direct placement. What you want, you most likely get. You’re passionate about the things you love, which is admirable. You seek recognition and fame. You can be very proud and get angry easily, but it also goes away quickly. You are very brave, for sure, and fierce. Losing is not an option for you. You like to be in the spotlight and at the top. Admitting when you’re wrong can be quite difficult for you due to the aforementioned pride. Nevertheless, you’re warm, creative, romantic and probably good around children.

MARS IN THE 2ND HOUSE

Here, Mars is tied in with the themes of Taurus. Since Taurus is a fixed sign, I’d say that you are very good at getting what you want because you are quite determined and perseverant. You may have a strong will to acquire material things that bring you comfort and security. In that sense, you may wish to have a high-paying job that allows you to buy the things that allow you to have that comfortable lifestyle. However, you may spend your money too generously, so beware of that. You are brave and dynamic, qualities that help you to achieve what you want.

SAGITTARIUS JUPITER

Jupiter is in its rulership here. With this placement, your interest in the "accursed questions", that is, everything to do with our connection with the universe, is greatly expanded. Mundane life can seem quite trivial to you; your desire is to understand the bigger things. Like I mentioned in the Sagittarius Venus section, you have a deep desire to travel, to connect to other cultures, to experience different things than what you're used to, to expand your knowledge. In addition to this, you want to share what you know with others, sometimes without prompt, which may cause others to perceive you as a "know-it-all". Jupiter is also connected to intuition, so, if you learn to trust and rely on yours, you may achieve enlightenment.

JUPITER IN THE 6TH HOUSE

This placement may seem, at first, difficult, because this is the house of Virgo, in which sign Jupiter has its Detriment. Whilst Jupiter is all about the higher mysteries, philosophy and the bigger picture, Virgo prefers hard work, concrete aspects and attention to detail. You should seek to find meaning in life through your job, as well as acts of service. Also, this placement may manifest in more ways than one: you may be able to take on the Virgo traits by achieving focus in one thing, or, on the opposite, you can move from one thing to the next, in a bid to help everyone and achieve everything. Jupiter here needs to find a middle ground between the mundane and the mystical.

PISCES SATURN

This is, in my humble opinion, a contradictory placement. Pisces is known for being the sign of illusions, dreams, fantasies. Saturn, on the other hand, is the planet of blockages, traumas, karma. Pisces does not want to directly deal with the problems, whilst Saturn wants precisely the opposite. This can result in deep fears from you, perhaps regarding your individual conscience. You may be afraid to delve deep, to explore the limits of your mind and also to share these with others. Feelings are very important to you, but these have a tendency to be more negative and elusive. A coping mechanism may be to detach, to ignore, to evade. You deal with problems by not dealing with them. You will grow, but only when you accept your struggles and face them head-on.

SATURN IN THE 9TH HOUSE

You could have been brought up in a traditional, conservative religious community. This may manifest as you having clear opinions on what is right and what is wrong. Perhaps you have a lack of faith, or you’re merely sceptical of religion. This placement balances all the others in this house: with Saturn here, you might hold back all the desire to learn, to get out there and explore your beliefs. In a past life, you may have held all the answers, but in this life, you may not want anything to do with the higher mysteries. Nevertheless, I would say that this placement may not be that strong, given that all the other planets in your 9th house want you to learn and explore. ⬛️

#astrology #game ask #my stuff

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ectora · 3 years

Text

REVIEW 313

took me some time to actually get into that review lmao But i really loved the episode. I know some people will probably have complains about it, but as someone who absolutely loves Abigael, I really liked it. And honestly the fact that abigael was finally included in the main story is not even the reason why. I loved the pacing, it actually felt like Charmed. The stakes, the construction, the format, it was all on point. It was genuinely their best episode alongside 307 (two episodes related to the tomb lmao) and one of their best in the show imo.

I've put it in "hidden" cause it ended up being so long I did not expect that im sorry 😭

SCREEN TIME

Maggie: 29m20s

Macy: 27m36s

Mel: 25m39s

Abigael: 20m17s

Jordan: 10m32s

Harry: 47s

Not gonna lie, I did not miss Harry this episode. Maybe it's just cause I don't like the way they have been writing both him and Macy this season, way too focused on the relationship, but his story does not really interest me. And I enjoy watching Macy interact with other characters a lot more. I think we could have had a little bit more of Jordan as well.

What I liked

where do i even start. I genuinely enjoyed so many things in this episode.

As said earlier, I really enjoyed the structure of the episode, to me it finally really felt like charmed. The way the episode was done was beautiful and I LOVED the trial in a general manner. They're terrible lawyers, but still loved it lmao

Ok hear me out, the fact they had abigael and macy say what the fan had been saying but reversing the roles was actually sent me lmao

I really enjoyed that they balanced the rights and wrongs of abigael. I'm part of the people who think that overall, most of what she did was not that deep tbh, but the episode allowed to have nuances and hold her accountable for things she did while also recognising that she did good things.

Abigael finally interacting with the sisters. To me, that's the sign of good characters tbh, how they can interact with different other leads/mains and such relationships being interesting. Abimel, i'll talk about it a bit later cause i have lots to say. But AbiMacy ? I absolutely always love their scenes, one of the reasons being that I genuinely think they're the two best actresses in the show and you can really feel it when they're on screen. They have easy chemistry and whatever they are doing, they just work. They also had one of the best potential of the show in terms of dynamic and I will never forgive the writers for ruining this, especially because it's in part because of a man. Anyway, their scenes were amazing to watch and I need more. I was especially happy because let's be honest, if Macy has valid reasons to dislike Abigael, they often miss-portrayed that in the show and it often came across as being mostly based on the whole love triangle between Macy Abi and Harry. But this time it really was not and Macy was quite fair, even reaching the conclusion Abi doesn't belong in there - she does not- and I liked that they actually were fair on Macy's dislike and distrust. Then there was AbiMaggie. Honestly, it's not a relationship i expected to enjoy that much but oh god i love them. I loved them in episode 207 and I still do. They just have such a funny dynamic, I can't even explain it correctly but it just work. They're throwing remarks at each other sure but it's almost in a sweet funny way. Abigael calling Maggie 'Legally Brunette" was so funny and cute at the same time.

Talking about Maggie, I really liked her this episode. I love how she reacts in situations where they need a cold head. She takes the lead, she does what needs to be done and she reaches the goal. I really enjoy seeing her taking that role a little bit more. Especially because to me Maggie was always the one with the most nuanced view on the world which I really appreciate. I loved her speech at the end and she grew so much since season 1, she's really so great. The more we advance in the show, the more she shines.

I really liked what happened at the end with the sisters recognising that they are themselves not perfect and are even chaotic. I have a point about being chaotic for later but anyway. Yes the sisters are not perfect. Honestly, they have done questionable things in the past themselves and often are the cataclysm of new things happening. I think it just makes them more interesting and better characters. Black and white can only get so long. Nuanced, imperfect, that's where the complexity lies and what is more interesting imo.

The perfecti really are good characters. I mean their logic was completely f*cked, but they are so entertaining to watch, it's actually great. I like also that they continued that idea that logic without emotion is dangerous. But in some ways tbh, the Perfecti are not even logical. They want to think they are, but their own logic is flawed and like Macy said, completely lacks context.

Finally the power of three and FINALLY, the plot goes forward. Maybe that's another reason I really enjoyed the episode, the fact that it actually had a good flow, it felt like one constructed episode and it actually advanced the story which cannot be said about a lot of the episodes. So I'm happy that happened.

And finally Abimel. I mean, no one can be surprised Abigael has feelings for Mel tbh, girl has not been subtle about it lmao But that declaration was actually cute and their scene at the bar ?? paralleling the one in season 2, it was so sweet. I just love them tbh, and I really think they could have been the ship a lot of us were waiting for in the sapphic community especially.

Abigael's past. Like I loved learning more about her past and her mom. Obviously her traumatic past does not exempt her from her own actions but I do believe it give strong grounds for redemption. it also gives us a lot of insights in her character. Her mom was an absolute monster and what she did to her was terrible. There is no surprise in Abigael's absolute lack of self worth and her unhealthy coping mechanism. Like her mom basically spent her life telling her she was deficient and then punished her for something she had no control on whatsoever. She punished Abigael for her own action and her own liaison with a demon. She probably projected her anger about that relationship on the child that came out of it and it's absolutely horrifying. Like no wonder Abigael is not fond of witches and went into the demon side tbh. Like that's not surprising at all. It also explains why she was so against the idea of witch = good that the sisters keep perpetuating because that's simply not what she experienced. Again, it does not excuse everything she did but I do believe it helps understand the character better and that ultimately, it gives space for a redemption. And again, kuddo to both poppy and the actress who played her mom. First that was great casting and it was really well played.

Remarks

To be honest, I don't really have things I genuinely disliked so I'm more gonna do like a section where i could criticise some of the aspect which to me did not necessarily made sense but were often still funny, and who knows maybe done on purpose. It's gonna be a mix of a little bit of everything.

One of the first thing I was kinda confused on was their use of the term chaos. Because, well, chaos doesn't equate evil. But that's the angle they started taking at the beginning which to me was confusing. It didn't make the episode bad, but the more I think about it, the more I'm like the defence they were going with had nothing to do with the charges 😭 Like, the sisters tried to prove that basically Abigael was a good person. But the charges were that she was chaotic. and by the end of the episode we did reach that kind of point where they said everyone was chaotic and everything - which i liked - but also didn't really match the angle they took the entire episode. Because, I personally never saw Abi as evil. But she is 100% chaotic like that girl is the definition of chaotic and I love her for it. But her doing good or bad is not necessarily what makes her chaotic. Good deeds can be as chaotic as bad ones. For example, Abi binding her own power could be considered as good by some people (it's not really but you see what I mean) but by doing so, she would lose the title of overlord and therefore end the treaty. In that case the war would start and that would definitely be chaotic. If she was to stay overlord however, and control the demon world, which can be seen as bad i guess, she is keeping the war from happening and stopping attacks toward witches and innocents, which is the contrary of chaotic. So yeah, the angle they took did not actually make that much sense cause the two are not the same.

Not gonna lie, bringing Godrik up was so weird to me cause like he tried to kill her first and they all know it, yet she was the one said to try to murder him and I was like ? did we all forgot what happened ? 😭

Some of the things brought by the perfecti - such as her killing those humans or demons - seemed weird because like, the sisters did the same in the past 😭 But also that's part of the whole lack of context aspect I guess.

No they really used Francesca as a witness out of all the people in the world like the woman is a whole child abuser who asked help to the elders, which have been established as like, not good people lmao I know it was part of the whole the perfecti are very selective on the information they actually take into account and they use the information as well as twist them to fir their own narrative but still it came across as weird because that woman was the definition of evil. But that's also what ticked the sisters so well.

Why did they not call Harry to testify was also kinda like ... weird. I mean at the same time I can't really complain but still, it was a bit odd. Also the fact they never thought about showing what was abigael actually doing with Jordan lmao I mean it wouldn't go along with the plot but still.

Ok, that take is subject to controversy and I know it but anyway : to me, Abi stealing Macy's power was ... not that deep. Don't get me wrong, the story was bad. The execution was even worse. In the show itself tho, objectively, as an act, it was not that bad. It actually made a lot of sense for Abigael to take it for herself. Macy wanted to get rid of her demon powers, no one was forcing her. And Abigael actually asked her multiples times if she was sure. Macy definitely had her reasons to do so. But at the end of the day, Abi picking them up when they were gonna disappear in thin air is really not that bad. It's logical. Don't get me wrong I'm glad Macy is getting them back, but I also think there has been a lot of mix up between the actual act of stealing the powers and the way it was done/optics ( I still don't understand how anyone wrote that scene and was like, yeah kneeling is a good idea ??? Like what's wrong with you 😭). But like ultimately, the act itself is not bad. questionable ? sure. Evil ? really not. Like let's be honest here. Abigael never hid who she was (past ep3 obviously). She did not pretend to be an angel, nor that she was a good samaritan. At the end of day, the sisters knew who she was and how she worked. They came to her knowing this. At some point, there is a need to acknowledge that, she was no angel, but they knew that and still went to her. She said it herself, she is used to fight for herself, and she'll sting to protect herself first - which i personally don't really hold again a character. If you go in bed with a scorpion, you can't ignore the fact there is a chance you're gonna get stung. Plus, when Abigael "stung" she also actually still gave them what they wanted/needed. I personally never saw self interest negating a good action. I don't really care if she gets something out of helping. Like at the end of the day, why wouldn't she take them ? In some ways however I do understand why Macy would be mad, she asked for help and she didn't realise Abigael stole them and she doesn't like abigael in the first place so why would she be ok with Abi taking them. That's valid too. But objectively, it was more a she was offended and mad that Abi herself had them more than a it's a terrible thing to do kinda feeling. So like it's a bit of a weird situation because Macy being annoyed and mad is valid but at the same time, it's really not that bad in itself. But overall that story should have never existed in the first place. And certainly not happen like this.

Abimel. I loved it but I also have issues with it. Mostly based on the fact we learned Poppy was leaving the show. And not gonna lie, I cant stop myself from feeling like it was almost a bit .. baity if I dare say. They had basically admitting having feelings for Mel and low key hoping it could lead somewhere when honestly, if she's leaving, they did not need to make it romantic. Because honestly, watching this episode not knowing she would leave ? You'd definitely could think it's happening, especially with all the other hints in the past. They could have made it like more about how Mel was the one giving her a real benefit of the doubt and they had a connexion and she wanted to be worthy of that. It would not be romantic. Especially cause she admitted caring about all sisters so it would have worked. Again, don't get me wrong, I want the most Abimel i can get lmao but also it feels a little weird. It's complicated. 😭

Jordan is definitely coming back, I just wonder what are going to be the circumstances. I completely understand why my boy needed a break. Like their time in the tomb was long. We don't exactly know how time works there but remember, in episode 7 when the sisters were stuck, the normal time was like what ? hours ? while in the tomb it was days for Maggie. So there it was days in normal time so in the tomb ? could potentially feel like weeks, months even. So yeah, give him a break and some time to breath. I know they're dragging this whole Joggie thing but because of Covid i also understand and will let it go. I really like them tho.

Abi has some alcohol problems I feel like should maybe be talked about. Like she uses it as an escape, as a way to numb her feelings. There is a reason it was used to symbolise her submitting herself to the tomb. And her first reaction after leaving the tomb was drinking. When she feels unhinged or vulnerable ? She drinks ? When she lost the title of overlord ? She drank. Alcohol is her escape which is a bit worrying.

Not about the episode but I think it needs to be brought up. I've seen people trying to say they brought up the abuse storyline for abigael out of nowhere and like. Listen I completely understand not trying to give more thoughts to a character you dislike, that's fair enough. But saying that storyline is out of nowhere is just a lie. The only new elements we had here were the details of the abuse she went through. They showed the clip again in the episode, where Abigael talks to Mel about her mom. She rejected her, she made her felt, deficient, wrong. All that is emotional abuse. She said her mom tried to fix her which can easily be thought about physical abuse. Like none of these things were new. To be honest, not a single thing they clarified/established for abigael this episode does not follow up with what was in the show in the past. Her feelings for Mel were honestly rather obvious at this point. Her not wanting TCO to get hurt ? There is literally a scene where Godrik tells her it's her head or the sisters and she never really even thought about throwing the sisters under the bus. She even asked who knew and it's easy to think it's because if no one knew she could put it under the rug. Again, it's fair enough for people to dislike her to not try to put more thoughts into her motivations or scenes in a general manner, but then you can't really say things are out of the blue.

And most importantly, I'm sorry, I don't care if you dislike the character, but if you dismiss the abuse just because of the dislike, that's a problem. What a character goes through in her past does not, in any way, have to change your opinion about them. Whatsoever. However when it comes to issues like child abuse, the bare minimum would be to be respectful of the subject and not say "she deserved it", "should have done more" or just say you don't care cause that changes nothing. Again, it doesn't have to change anyone's opinion at all and it does not excuse behaviours, but man, minimal respect is not that hard.

Highlights

This episode genuinely had such funny moments, i loved it.

« Is this a hard time to admit I failed debate in high school ? » and « could the defendant keep her commentary to herself » competing with each other for the funniest part of the episode. The delivery was perfect on both part. And Abi and Macy interactions are always so good and them bantering more or less seriously all the time is sending me. Macy was just so annoyed with her, i loved it.

« Need something legally brunettes » I said it already but I loved that little scene between AbiMaggie and that line particularly.

Abigael went from saying "I could care less about any of you" to "because I deeply care about her" followed by a whole ass declaration AND admitting she does actually care about all of them. My girl got absolutely played and it was genuinely so funny. Like Abigael was so freaking smug about testifying against herself and she got played so hard, she was SO annoyed it was actually hilarious.

"Every battle I fought, I fought alone" like excuse me while I'll go cry in a corner. Again, Poppy has been absolutely killing her role this season.

"Your arguments are illogical" the perfecti have such audacity like girl have you heard yourself ? 😭 no one is being less logical than you right now.

Lmao when Macy said Abigael belonged into the tomb, Mel was not agreeing 😭 And Maggie was having none of the drama either she just wanted out.

The sisters realising they had to be Abi's character witnesses lmao it was hilarious pleas idc.

Theories

With Poppy Drayton leaving, there are two theories I kinda have. Obviously Abigael is either gonna die or leave. Ngl, I can feel the dying one coming more but well, that brings the two theories.

Abigael would sacrifice herself. Which I don't like but honestly let's be honest, there are 95% chances of that happening. I could see her sacrifice herself for Mel or for the sisters in general. But that's where my abimel issues are coming. I love abimel. I want the most abimel i can have until the end. But Abigael admitting have feelings for Mel just in the purpose of having her sacrifice herself for her and to be 'worth it' ? that's not only a byg trope, it's also lazy.

If she just leave, which wouldn't really make sense to be honest cause why would she just leave, would she give up the title of overlord (why even) or would they bound her powers (i would hate that) ? but anyway, if that's the case, I could actually see her learn Waverly is not actually the one rejecting her. Waverly could very possibly not be the one who communicated with Jordan and the sisters. No one ever saw her, the letters are only signed by her name. It's a bit sus tbh, so nothing stops it from being Francesca actually impersonating her daughter to keep her away from Abigael.

I want to know more about the perfecti. We know they killed charmed ones before, and it doesn't seem like charmed ones existed when they were created ? Maybe the charmed ones were created after they went into the tomb ? I still am not sure about them going into the tomb by themselves tbh. But also they don't seem to be evil in the sense they want power or whatever, more in the fact like they consider themselves perfect and that if someone stands in their way, they'll just get rid of them.

#charmed #charmed cw #charmed reboot #charmed 2018 #macy vaughn #mel vera #maggie vera #abigael caine #abigael jameson caine #jordan chase #harry greenwood #abimel #mel x abigael #mel x abby #charmed analysis #charmed review #charmed 313

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media-on-the-mind101 · 3 years

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Turtles All the Way Down: OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (Book)

* May contain spoilers*

I recently finished reading Turtles All the Way Down by John Green, and it is now one of my favorite novels. The story hit me close to home because it deals with a disorder that I was diagnosed with. I thought writing an article about it would be a good way to educate you readers, while also sharing a little bit about myself.

Turtles All the Way Down is story about a teenage girl named Aza Holmes who suffers from OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The story shows how the disorder impacts her daily life as well as her relationships. Because the author suffers from the disorder in real life, the depiction is fairly accurate. However, I spotted a few things that might suggest a whole different diagnosis whatsoever. The story also covers Aza’s treatment which I felt was missing a lot of important things.

According to the DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a disorder where a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are intrusive thoughts that trigger distressing feelings, while compulsions are repetitive behaviors that are performed to relieve anxiety or prevent something bad from happening. OCD is often confused with OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) which is characterized by extreme perfectionism, order, and neatness. OCPD is often portrayed as OCD in the media which means that stereotypical OCD is really OCPD.

While Aza does have obsessions that involve cleaning, they are more about health and less about being organized. People with OCD often have a specific thing they worry about, and for Aza it is contracting an infection from a parasite called C-diff which essentially causes food poisoning and stomach damage. While she doesn’t really do anything to neutralize or cancel her thoughts out, she repeatedly reads articles online and uses hand sanitizer to relieve her anxiety.

As you may already have figured out, people with OCD often have illogical thought patterns and they are fully aware of it. But their anxiety makes them perform their compulsion anyway “just to make sure.” This is seen in the book when Aza drinks a bottle of hand sanitizer to insure that all bad bacteria inside her body are cured. Of course we all know, that drinking hand sanitizer would actually be more harmful then helpful.

“Drinking hand sanitizer is not going to make you healthier, you crazy fuck. But they can talk to your brain. THEY can tell your brain what to think, and you can’t. So, who’s running the show? Stop it, please (pg. 210).

In this scene, Aza knows that drinking hand sanitizer is actually more harmful then helpful, but she feels as if something is controlling her brain. The “they” refers to her OCD and she tells it to stop but isn’t able to control it.

While reading the book, I noticed that some of Aza’s symptoms don’t quite fit the diagnosis of OCD, such as her feeling of not knowing if she is awake or dreaming, real or non-existent. In one chapter she says the following:

“the pressing of my thumbnail against my fingertip had started off as a way of convincing myself that I was real . . . every time I thought maybe I wasn’t real, I would dig my nail into my fingertip, and I would feel the pain, and for a second I’d think, Of course I’m real” (pg.106).

The feeling of disconnect she has from her own body and surroundings are actually symptoms of DDD (Depersonalization - Derealization Disorder). According to the DSM, the disorder is characterized by persistent feelings of being a stranger to yourself or your surroundings. According to Psychology Today, however, you have to have no signs of other mental illness that can explain your symptoms, in order to be diagnosed with DDD. This is when diagnosing a patient becomes challenging; so many disorders can have similar symptoms or be co-morbid with each other that it they can difficult to differentiate.

The other symptom I noticed that is actually its own disorder, is the fact that Aza has a habit of digging her nail into her fingertip to the point where her finger becomes scarred. While picking of the skin is often comorbid with OCD, it is actually a separate disorder called excoriation disorder or dermatillomania. According to mhanational.org, this disorder is characterized by picking of the skin that creates skin lesions and that causes disruption in everyday life. It is true that the disorder falls under the category of obsessive compulsive disorders in the DSM, but excoriation disorder is not the same as OCD.

Now we’ve defined what OCD is, but another important part of how the book portrays it is in the treatment. According to Mayoclinic.com, the most common treatments for OCD include CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), exposure therapy, and medications such as SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors). These are the treatments that I had during my childhood, and they have been statistically proven to be very effective.

In the book Aza sees a therapist and takes medication, but she doesn’t get exposure therapy, one of the main treatments for OCD. Aza mainly gets CBT which is essentially talk therapy, but she is not forced to face her obsessions without performing her compulsions. An example of this would be touching a dirty substance and then forcing herself not to take out her phone or use hand sanitizer.

The last important thing is how OCD effects a peoples relationships. Throughout the story, the characters in Aza’s life talk about how hard she is to deal with. One scene toward the end really emphasizes the importance of this issue. In this scene, Aza and her best friend Daisy get into an argument because Daisy feels that Aza is too self-centered.

She says “and you’re so, like, pathologically uncurious that you don’t even know what you don’t know.” And later she adds “I don’t mean that you’re a bad friend or anything. But you’re slightly tortured, and the way you’re tortured is sometimes also painful for, like, everyone around you”(pg. 216).

Daisy is frustrated because she feels like Aza is so caught up in her own thoughts that she never shows any interest in the lives of others. When she says Aza is “tortured” and it makes it painful for everyone around her, this shows just how much her illness impacts her relationships with other people. Basically, people find her difficult to be around because they, in a sense, have to experience everything with her and they begin to lose patience. At the end of this scene, the two girls get into a car accident because they weren’t paying attention to the road.

Aza’s other important relationship in the story is with is Davis, who is like a friend with benefits. The reason he never becomes Aza’s boyfriend is because of her social anxiety and fear of contamination that prevents her from being physically close to people.

“I enjoyed being with him more in this nonphysical space, but I also felt the need to board up the windows of myself. Me: I feel kinda precarious in general, and I can’t really date you. Or date anyone. I’m sorry but I can’t. I like you, but I can’t date you” (pg. 162).

I this scene, Aza reveals that she communicates better online then in person and this suggests that she has some form of social anxiety.

Another scene tells us just how much her fear of germs effects her life: “billions of people kiss and don’t die just make sure his microbes aren’t going to permanently colonize you come on please stop this . . . then you’ll get C. diff and boom dead in four days please fucking stop just kiss him JUST CHECK TO MAKE SURE. I pulled away” (pg. 152).

In this scene, Aza has difficulty being physically intimate with Davis because her fear of germs prevents from enjoying it like most people would. Based on this fact, we could predict that Aza will have difficulty in her future relationships because of her mental illness and this is a great example of how it effects people in real life.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, the author John Green himself suffers from OCD. Compared to his own experiences, the book is pretty similar. Like the main character, Green suffers from obsessions about contamination. In an episode of the Vlogbrothers Youtube channel, Green explains that

“I might worry out of nowhere that my food is contaminated or somehow poisoned and then somehow suddenly that will be the only thought I'm able to think . . . I can lose all control over my thoughts for an extended period of time to the extent that I can't follow what's happening in a TV show or read a book.” (Green).

*John Green, author of Turtles All the Way Down*

So like Aza, he worries about contamination to the point where he can’t focus on anything else. He also has the same kinds of thought spirals :

“the compulsive behaviors I use to cope with these obsessive thought spirals, repeatedly checking my food for contamination, for instance, or spending hours Googling what will happen to me if I eat moldy bread.” (Green).

As you can see, the characters compulsion of checking in internet comes straight from the author’s real life experience. According to the New York Times, John Green developed the disorder at around seven years old and eventually got it under control with the right medication and CBT. It was not said weather or not he underwent exposure therapy. So the treatment that Aza receives is based on the way some treatments work in real life.

While reading Turtles All the Way Down I often found myself feeling nostalgic because my own experience with OCD is very similar. Although I do not have an obsession with a specific thing like Aza does, I have the same types of intrusive thoughts. I also have similar compulsions to seek reassurance from the internet or other people about my health, as well as other compulsions to neutralize, or cancel out my thoughts.

Because I had Tourette Syndrome (a neurological disorder that causes physical impulses) as a child, I developed what is called Tourettic OCD. It is pretty much exactly what it sounds like; Tourette Syndrome and OCD combined. The reason this occurs in some individuals is because the ability to filter out and thoughts and the impulse to move, take place in the same brain area, the basal ganglia. As a result of this, my compulsions tend to be more physical, such as moving my eyes excessively whenever I see negative words in a book, or someone getting sick in a movie.

Like Aza, I went through CBT but I also went through several years of exposure therapy and I take an SSRI in conjunction. I think exposure therapy is a very important part of the treatment of disorders such as OCD and PTSD and I was disappointed that the book did not include it. I think that if you are going to educate a person about disorder, then you have to educate them about the treatment as well. In conclusion, Turtles All the Way Down was a great novel that captured OCD more accurately then any movie I have seen. The fact that the author has the disorder makes it all the more realistic and personal, and I have to say as a person with OCD and a psychology major, I was quite pleased with the way the character was portrayed. The story may have been missing a few important elements but overall it provided a realistic way of educating people about the disorder.

#john green #turtles all the way down #ocd #mental health #mental illness #books and literature #psychology

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dukereviewsmovies · 3 years

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Duke Reviews: Mortal Kombat 2021

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where Today I'm Looking At The 2021 Mortal Kombat Movie...

Now, I Bet You're Asking Me, Andrew, Why Are You Reviewing This And Not The Original Mortal Kombat Movie And It's Sequel, Mortal Kombat Annihilation? Because I Don't Need A Frying Pan To Hit Me Over The Head To Know For A Fact That Both Of Those Films Are Horrible...

Where This Film Knows How To Handle The Game It's Taking On, Of Course, Some People Will Disagree With Me On This But Intend To Prove Those Haters Wrong Today...

So, With That Said, Let's Dive Into Mortal Kombat 2021...

Expect Spoilers From Here On Out...

The Movie Starts At The Home Of Hanzo Hasashi In Japan In The Year 1617, Where Hanzo Goes To Get 2 Buckets Of Water For His Wife, But Before He Goes, He Tells Her That He Loves Her Very Much...

However As Hanzo Gets Water, His Family Is Visited By Hanzo's Nemisis, Bi-Han, Whose Group Known As The Lin Kuei (Who Controls The Power Of Ice) Is Out To Annihilate Every Member Of Hanzo's Group, The Shirai Ryu From Existence And With Hanzo Being The Last One...He Makes Himself A Good Target...

So, Yeah, Bi-Han Kills Hanzo's Wife And Eldest Son By Freezing Them To Death, Which Leads Hanzo To Create A Makeshift Weapon (Out Of A Blade His Wife Used For Gardening And Some Rope) So He Can Fight The Warriors Of The Lin Kuei Before Fighting Bi-Han Himself Only To Get Killed During The Fight...

But Before Hanzo Dies, He Hears The Cries Of His Baby Daughter But In Attempting To Go To The Baby He Dies...

But That Doesn't Stop A God Named Raiden From Showing Up And Taking The Baby Himself To Find The Kid A New Home, Which Not Only Leads To A Title Card And Brief Star Wars Like Intro Revealing That There Is A Tournament That Decides The Fate Of Earth And Earth Has Lost 9 Of Them And Should It Lose One More, Then Earth Will Be Invaded By A Realm Called Outworld...

However, An Ancient Prophecy Has Revealed That A New Group Of Champions Led By Hanzo's Ancestor Will Tip The Balance For Earth...

Which Leads Up To Now, Where Hanzo's 21st Century Relative Who Now Goes By Cole Young Is Boxing For Money For His Family...

Now, Very Briefly, Let's Talk About Cole Who Is A New Character For This Movie And Is Not In The Video Game...

This Has Fans Debating That The Main Focus Should Have Been A Character From The Game, Namely Johnny Cage Instead Of A New Character To Which I Unfortunately Disagree With As Going With A New Character Works Better In The Movie's Favor...

Think About It, If They Had Made A Character From The Game The Main Focus It Would Come With Expectations That The Fanbase Expects For Characters Of This Game Adding To The Other Expectations For The Other Characters That Are From The Game That Are In This Movie...

Where A New Character Not Only Gives Us A Fresh Set Of Eyes To Look At This World, But A Way To Put Us Not Only Into The Movie But Into This World...

Unfortunately, Cole Loses The Fight But It's Enough To Impress A Guy Named Jax (Played By Jimmy Olsen From Supergirl) Who A Tattoo On Cole Only For His Daughter To Reveal That It's Not A Tattoo But A Birthmark Which He's Had Since He Was Born...

Meanwhile In Outworld, The Ruler Of This Realm, Shang Tsung...

Yes, That Guy,..

Tells Bi-Han Who Has Now Become...

Sub-Zero...

That The Prophecy Is Upon Them And He Wants Him To Go To Earth To Eliminate The Champions, Which Leads Sub-Zero To Attack Cole And His Family While They're Getting Dinner At A Restaurant...

Luckily Though, They Are Saved By Jax Who Reveals He Has A Tattoo Like Cole Does And That He's Been Chosen To Fight But Before Jax Can Tell Him Anymore They're Confronted By Sub-Zero Who Attacks Their Car, But Before Jax Goes To Fight Sub-Zero He Tells Cole To Go To Gary, Indiana...

This An Action Movie, Not A Musical!

Anyway, He Tells Cole To Go There And Find Sonya Blade Who Will Have More Information About Everything...

So, With Cole Taking His Family To Safety, Jax Goes To Fight Sub-Zero Only For Sub-Zero To Freeze Jax's Arms And Rip Them The Hell Off...

Jax Falls To The Ground Which Leads Sub-Zero To Believe Jax Is Dead But We'll See Jax Later...

After Dropping His Family Off, Cole Goes To See Sonya Blade Who Not Only Reveals That People With Markings Like The Ones Cole And Jax Have Have Been Chosen To Fight For Earth In A Tournament Known As Mortal Kombat, But Also That She Has A Mercenary Named Kano Who Killed A Champion That Sonya Was After Only To Get The Marking Himself...

But Before Sonya Can Give More Information, They're Attacked By Reptile, A Minion Of Shang Tsung But He Defeated By Kano Who Breaks Free During The Fight...

Before He Leaves, Kano Mentions Raiden's Temple, (A Place Where Champions Have Gone To Train For The Tournament) So Sonya Makes A Deal With Kano To Take Them There For 3 Million Dollars (Despite Not Having It) And He Does...

Travelling To The Middle Of The Desert, We Get A Small Fight Between Kano And Sonya, Before They Run Into Liu Kang (Played By The Black Ranger From The Power Rangers Reboot) Who Takes Them To Raiden's Temple To See Raiden Himself Who's Not Exactly Pleased With What He Has To Work With...

But Beggars Can't Be Choosers As Outworld Comes To Them Forcing Liu Kang And His Cousin, Kung Lao To Deal With The Intruders But Raiden Interpheres As Shang Tsung, Sub-Zero And Another Minion, Mileena Arrive...

However Despite Ordering His Minions To Kill The Champions, Raiden Creates An Electric Force Field Preventing Them From Entering...

Yeah, Go Cry To Your Mama, Shang Tsung...

So, As Both Kano And Cole Begin Training For Their Arcana (Which Is Their Inner Power), Sonya Discovers That Jax Is Alive And That As Sub-Zero Froze His Arms He Also Cauterised Jax's Wounds And All It's Going To Take Now Is Time...

Which I Think Is Liu Kang's Way Of Saying "We Can Rebuild Him, We Have The Technology"...

And So, Jax Becomes The Six Million Dollar Jax...

Well, I Guess Six Million Dollars Doesn't Buy What It Used To Buy...

With Very Little Success Of Getting Their Arcana On Their First Day, Everyone Has Dinner Only For Kung Lao To Start Insulting Kano Which Leads to Him Getting His Arcana Of Shooting A Laser From His Eye...

But Unlike Kano, Cole Is Having A Hard Time Getting His Arcana And With Time Running Out He Needs To Get It....Fast....

This Leads Raiden To Send Cole Home Despite Telling Him The Truth About Hanzo And How He Was He Was Hoping That The Power Of His Bloodline Would Be Strong Enough For Cole To Get His Arcana...

Meanwhile In Outworld, Shang Tsung Prepares His Minions, Millena, Nitara, Kabal And General Reiko For An Attack On Raiden's Temple...

But How Will They Lower Raiden's Force Field?

Well, Unfortunately, Kabal Knows Kano And Goes Off To Convince Him To Join Shang Tsung's Team And Guess What? He Accepts.,,

So, Yeah, Kano Brings Down The Shield Allowing Shang Tsung And His Minions To Attack The Temple While Cole Is Attempting To Protect His Family From Freaking Goro!

And Holy Shit, Did They Give Goro An Update!

But As The Fights Happen We Get Lines From The Game Including "Finish Him!" And "Flawless Victory" Kung Lao Kills Nitara Only For Shang Tsung To Kill Kung Lao, Jax's Arms Finally Look Like They're Worth Six Million Dollars And Transform Into Badass Robotic Arms Intead Of Wimpy Ones

And Cole Gains His Arcana (Of Transforming Into Kinetic Armor And Weapon Creation) To Save His Family From Goro Which Leads To The Most Gruesome Death In This Movie...

But Despite Cole Returning To The Temple To Help, Raiden Gets The Team Out By Taking Them To The Void, Which Is A Space Between Earthrealm And OutWorld To Come Up With A Plan

And Their Plan Is Very Simple...

Jax Fights Reiko ( Reiko Gets His Head Smashed In By Jax), Sonya Fights Kano (Kano Has An Ironic Death And Sonya Gains His Mark, Becoming A Champion) And Liu And Cole Fight Both Mileena And Kabal (Kabal Dies By Liu's Fire Dragon Ability And Mileena Gets Blasted By Sonya When She Shows Up)

They Had Intended Taking Sub-Zero Together But When He Shows Cole A Bracelet That Belonged To Cole's Daughter, He's Like "I Have Your Family, Come Get Me Bitch!"

So, Cole Enters A Portal To Face Sub-Zero Alone, Well...Not Really...

Using A Blade That Belonged To Hanzo During The Fight, Cole Summons The Spirit Of Hanzo To Fight With Him...,

But He's Not Hanzo Anymore, Oh, No....He's...

Scorpion!

And He's Like...

So, Yeah, Scorpion Kills Sub-Zero By Burning The Bastard With Fire Breath Before Returning To Help And Cole Saves His Family....

But As Raiden And His Team Arrive, Shang Tsung Also Arrives Saying That Death Is Just Another Portal And Next Time, He Will Come With Armies Before Leaving

However, Though They Won This Battle, The Fight Is Not Over By Any Means As Raiden Assembles A New List Of Champions For The Team To Recruit...

Packing Up His Locker At The Wrestling Ring, Cole Tells His Agent That He's Going To Hollywood As We Look At A Poster That Tells Us Johnny Cage Will Be In The Sequel...

This Movie Was...Pretty Damn Epic!

How This Isn't One Of The Best Video Game Movie Adaptations Ever I Will Never Know, I Guess It Just Comes Down To People Are Idiots And Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About...

"The Story Is Confusing" If The Story Is Confusing Then You Don't Belong Reviewing Movies Cause You Have No Idea What A Good Movie Is!, "The Movie Has Horrible Writing" Have You Even Seen The Original Mortal Kombat Movie? That And Annihilation Have Worse Writing Than This Movie! "We Should Have Had Johnny Cage Instead Of Cole" We're Getting Him In The Sequel, Give The Writers A Freaking Break And Stop Being Critical Pricks!

So, Yeah, It's Obvious That This Has Become My Favorite Video Game Movie And I Say Don't Listen To People Like Angry Joe Or Hack The Movies Who Don't Know What They're Talking About And Go See This Movie

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off

#Mortal Kombat #warner bros

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maximumsnow · 3 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Toon Link, Linebeck Additional Tags: Ciela - Freeform, She's mentioned a few times but I didn't think it was enough to tag her as a character Summary: A sort of rewrite of the build up to and the final battle in Phantom Hourglass but from Linebeck's perspective.

When this whole arrangement started, Linebeck was to take the kid wherever he wanted, and he’d get some treasure out of the hunt for the ghost ship.

After the ghost ship was revealed to be a ruse to lure in victims, he tried to leave. Entities that feasted on the life force of minor gods in addition to any people they happened to trap was not what he had signed up to deal with. Someone more foolhardy could take up his position as overglorified transport.

If asked, he’d take them back to land, but given Oshus’ abilities, they didn’t really need him.

He had to turn away to avoid looking at the hurt look on the kid’s face. It wasn’t Linebeck’s fault that Link’s friend had fallen into the trap and was now a statue, but the danger involved was too much for him.

Hell, it was too much for a kid. There was a passing thought that maybe without a boat, Link would accept that something irreversible had happened and make Oshus look for someone older than Link and braver than Linebeck.

But Oshus knew him too well.

A wish. A blank check for anything Linebeck could ever want.

…. The kid was going to do this with or without him, wasn’t he? Might as well help him along.

Link was the better dungeon crawler, and he never saw a reason to change their arrangement. Linebeck could ensure the boat was fixed after any excursion, and they both knew he would be a liability in a fight.

The kid had proven himself enough for Linebeck to trust in his ability to take care of himself, and with the fairies keeping an eye out, he rarely had reason for concern.

Rarely.

I’m not supposed to be here.

The thought kept playing on repeat as Bellum shattered the remains of the ghost ship and knocked over the mast which crashed onto Linebeck’s ship with Oshus still on it.

He was now standing on barely connected planks, with Tetra and Link in Bellum’s grasp. The kid’s grip on the Phantom Sword loosened and the blade landed not too far from where Linebeck and Ciela were looking on in horror.

The movement startled him out of his horrified daze, and he quickly glanced between the sword and Bellum.

The largest eye was flickering between the two children as if it was trying to decide who to savor first. Tetra was still unconscious and hanging limply, and Link was struggling as best he could with his arms bound to his sides.

Linebeck went against everything his instincts screamed at him to do, and picked up the sword. He had never handled a sword like this one, and it had clearly been made with a smaller person in mind.

It didn’t stop him from clumsily jabbing it through the eye of the tentacle hanging in front of him.

His knees nearly gave out on him when the beast turned its eye towards him, but despite his visible tremors, he stood tall.

He pulled the sword out and swung it again, and this caused Bellum to fling Link and Tetra away from it as it tried to deal with the nuisance he was making of himself.

He kept swinging as Ciela tried to wake the kid, and when he thought he saw Link sit up, he shouted and tried to run over to him.

It was a fatal mistake.

He realized this as a tentacle grabbed his arms, and he tried to struggle away from the creature as it latched more tentacles onto him and pulled its body closer. He knew a losing battle when he saw one.

As a last ditch effort, he had to get the sword to Link. No matter what happened to Linebeck, Link needed a way to fight back. Yanking his arm back, he threw the sword, and the kid somersaulted in midair as he grabbed it.

It was such a show off move, but in that moment, Linebeck couldn’t be more relieved.

The fear returned as Bellum eyed him up and down before it made some sort of decision.

The pain and pressure on his back was unexpected and dropped him to his knees, and his thoughts could only focus on how much it hurt. It felt like a sword had driven itself deep into his back and along his spine, and it pulsed with his heartbeat.

Why was it so slow?

A foreign hunger that felt wrong invaded his mind and everything started to go foggy. He could barely string two thoughts together as something that wasn’t him commanded his body to get to its feet. Standing far taller than he ever had as a human, he looked down at Link.

The kid looked so small. But the new puppeteer pulling his strings wanted the child dead, and Linebeck couldn’t fight the control.

“Link...” He couldn’t finish what he wanted to say before a weighty helmet covered his face.

I’m sorry.

He could only watch as his arm swung a huge blade around with more skill than he ever possessed. His legs carried him towards Link no matter where the kid ran, and always kept the armored front facing Link.

He blocked attack after attack from Link, and even if he missed, the heavy armor blocked anything the kid could land.

Link couldn’t keep this up forever, but despite all the movement, Linebeck felt no tiredness in his own numb limbs.

The control fumbled for a brief second when Ciela fluttered behind him, and Bellum opened its main eye as it used one of its tentacles to grab her.

It wasn’t enough for him to do anything but… It did give him a faint idea. He had to keep that idea hidden from the entity invading his mind, but it was thoroughly distracted by Link continuing to come at him with failed attacks. The thoughts of the being who had no control of this situation weren’t very high on its priority list.

Especially since every now and then, the attack would drop him to his knees, and it would let Ciela release a small burst of power.

After a few seconds, he finally spiked his thoughts with a feeling of unease. I can’t see behind me, what’s going on?

The entity never turned his head. It wanted him to watch what happened to Link and keep him in sight at all times.

Instead it opened its main eye just make sure there was nothing back there.

Ciela yelled something, and in an instant, he could feel a distant pain as Bellum took damage.

Smart kid.

He had to be careful with repeating the process, but without fail, at some point, Bellum would give in to his fake paranoia, and have to check.

The fight kept going and going, and with each meeting of their blades, the entity was getting more desperate.

Link was also getting tired. The kid’s heavy breathing was audible even through the armored helmet.

He didn’t even have to fake fear to spike his muddied thoughts. The fear of him killing this kid flooded through him, and Bellum opened its eye on reflex.

The last mistake it needed to make.

The hold on his mind and body suddenly disappeared along with the armor, and he collapsed forward.

Good job, kid.

#My Writing #Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass #Phantom Hourglass #Linebeck #Bellum #Phantom Hourglass Link

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