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#weekly's thought bubble
shittyakechiweekly · 24 days
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i find it kinda funny that all my high note posts are my angsty drawings. I have a wide collection of "augh" and sentiments of needing to stare into the void tags. its my favourite thing about this blog lol
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briwates · 2 months
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so many people have said this but gaon helping yohan and elijah repair their bond through food is so good !!
can you imagine once they've moved to switzerland and yohan learns how to cook, him and elijah have most of their meals together. instinctively while cooking he'll leave the most tender parts of the meat or chicken for her, making sure the vegetables are just the way elijah likes them, is attentive to what brand of rice she particularly enjoys. replacing things she does not eat in a recipe with foods she might like a little more, with creative advice from gaon.
when elijah is not in physio perhaps they'd do the grocery shopping together. The first time, they leave the supermarket with a cart that is way too full for 2 people, but elijah is so excited to try everything that yohan lets her get whatever she wants. the second and third trip and the fourth it's some more experimenting and then slowly slowly yohan rediscovers what his niece enjoys most, what to get for her when she's out of therapy for the day, what seasonal fruit she particularly waits for (remember ep 4 when he's surprised that elijah chose the same dinner/has the same tastes as him!). It brings them a bit closer. when elijah has long days at the therapy facility he packs her a warm lunch. the feedback he gets is just a few words when she comes back home at first ("lunch was good" "did you put something special in the fried rice today ?"), then one day she sends him a picture of her box completely cleaned and three thumbs up emojis. it has yohan smiling to himself the whole day
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himejoshiangels · 8 months
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I hate you sanitized batfamily. I hate you clean cut dynamics and quickly resolved conflict through honest and open communication. I hate you erasure of tragedy and complexity and toxicity.
insane ramblings below ⬇️⬇️
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wjsns · 2 years
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dayoung 📕 weekly idol ep. 569
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weirdfishy · 2 years
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hc that during the majority of nights the rooftop gang goes drinking (most fridays tbh) zashi and shou get sloshed and end up making out— nem and oboro just think they’re together (and their distance during school and shit is just bc they’re At School & Professional Obv) but really they’re still pining and both completely forget the make out sessions the next morning
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sho-sketches · 1 year
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spent an hour on different strokes! its a free game on stream and its pretty fun!
its basically the fake passport section in a hat in time (in which i also spent an like hour, drawing a brand new face instead of just like, scribbling a mustache on hat kid lmao)
you just draw on a public gallery and then another person goes over n draws on top of it.
kinda wish you could revert other people's edits or just like. force it to publish as is since im pretty happy w them when i was done. but like, i guess its kinda the point of the game.
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helen-with-an-a · 1 month
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I am an adult pt. 2
Hi. So this is part 2 to I am an adult. I already had an idea that I wanted to do another part but thank you to the Anon who gave me a good idea for it. I hope you enjoy it. <3
Barca Femeni x Reader
Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 3.5 : Part 4
TW: Angst
Word Count: 4k
Description: R realises she might not be as adult as she things she is
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Everything was wonderful for the first few weeks after they came to your house. They calmed down, and you calmed down. It was great. But something felt … off. They stopped treating you like a child. Which is what you wanted, right? You had asked for this. You had asked them to stop policing your actions and criticising you. You wanted this. Then why did it feel so wrong?
You didn't go crazy; you continued your life as it always had been; movie nights with Patri, dinner with Pina, coffee with Ona. Everything was totally and completely normal. Except you no longer came home to text messages asking about your location or concerns over your safety. You no longer had Lucy reminding you about your weekly food shop that needed to match your nutritional needs. You no longer had Alexia helping you fill out your official government documents. You no longer had Marta and Caro texting you about your upcoming schedules. You no longer had Paños checking to ensure you were up at the correct times. Your safety net had slipped away, and you were dangling in the middle of open water without anyone to catch you.
But this was entirely of your own making. You didn't realise it, but you had failed to apologise to them. You had failed to act like the adult you thought you were and own up to your actions. They didn't realise it either, not consciously anyway, until a few days later. Paños watched you from the corner of her eye, goofing off with Mapi when she got a sour taste in her mouth. Ingrid had approached her to apologise for her behaviour when she snapped at them. The adult thing to do.
"Hey, Ale?" Paños caught Alexia's elbow, stopping her from moving away. "Did Y/N ever apologise to you? For shouting in the changing rooms?" Alexia frowned. No, you hadn't. You had shouted at her in front of your colleagues, your friends, and you hadn't said a word. Never mind that she was your captain. You yelled at someone in public when they only tried to help. And never said sorry. She shook her head. Sandra hummed and began making discreet enquiries about whether you had apologised to anyone else; over the past few months, you had been rude to all of them. Even Ingrid and Mapi when they had expressed concern over you going out for the third night in a row. They had all apologised to you, recognising their own faults with the extreme actions they had around you. But you didn't extend the same courtesy to them. The older teammates pulled back even further, annoyed with your behaviour and lack of ownership over them – again, it was something you weren't aware of, too busy in your bubble of newfound freedom.
Over the next three months or so, you were finding things increasingly more difficult. At first, it was the food shop. When you were with Alexia, she always kept something healthy in the freezer for you should you feel like food shopping was too much for you but you needed something in the fridge or pantry. After long days at the training centre and after matches, the last thing you wanted to do was go to the always-too-busy shops. So, you began ordering food some days of the week. It wasn't like you ordered anything too unhealthy; you always got something vaguely nutritious with vegetables, protein, and carbohydrates. Everything you need for a well-balanced meal. But with the increased deliveries, the carefully constructed budget that Alexia and Lucy had worked out for you began to crumble. Soon, your bank account was much less full than it once was.
It was a sunny morning in early May when things really hit the fan. You had been pulled into a conference room. It all looked very official. Men with official suits you didn't recognise sat on one end of the long table. The Barcelona Big Bosses, as you called them, were along another. Jonatan and Alexia sat on the third side of the table, leaving a single seat on the fourth. Jonatan looked concerned, the Big Bosses looked stern, and the Officials looked bored. Alexia looked furious – she refused to look at you, her hands fiddling with the pen in front of her.
"Hola," you said as you took your seat. Introductions were made, and something small and square was placed on the table in the middle.
Buen día. "Soy Carlos Álvarez y él es mi colega Juan Ramírez; trabajamos para el Departamento de Estado y hemos sido asignados a su caso." You stared at the Official blankly. Your Spanish had been improving, but he spoke too quickly for you to understand. "Le gustaría que esta entrevista se realizara en inglés?" You looked to Alexia for guidance, but she stayed staring at the papers in front of her.
"Um, lo siento, um, no en-entiendo. No hablo español," you responded. It was the phrase Lucy had taught you when you first arrived. The man gestured to one of the other Officials.
"My name is Juan Ramirez, and this is Carlos Álvarez; we are officers from the State Department assigned to your case." Your heart stopped. Did you have a case with the State Department? How? Why? Your fear must have shown on your face as Jonatan took pity on you.
"Y/N, you haven't filled out any tax forms or completed your Right to Work visa." Tax forms? A right-to-work visa? You have never had to fill any of those things out before.
"But … I've not completed those before."
"Yes, you have. Look." Juan handed you photocopies of filled-out forms, all with your name and information on them.
"I didn't …"
"I did it for you, Y/N," Alexia answered. "We used to sit down together and do it." When did you do that? You don't remember any forms.
"It shouldn't take too long to actually fill out the forms, but because they're late, you must go to court to hand them to the judges. Due to your status and job, you can stay in the country, but you cannot participate in matches or training until you have received confirmation from the State Department that you can work again." Juan explained. Court? No training? No matches? "We will also have to freeze your salary. It will be back-dated once you have the necessary documentation, but as of right now, you cannot receive any more money for FC Barcelona or anyone else in Spain." No more money? You were really starting to panic. What did they mean you couldn't be paid? You tried frantically to get Alexia's attention, but she refused to meet your eyes.
The rest of the meeting was a blur. You had been escorted to the mercifully empty changing rooms and gathered your things. As you entered the main corridor, you met an incensed Alexia, with Marta, Paños, Patri and Irene standing behind her. The captains.
You went to open your mouth when Alexia cut you off. "I don't want to hear a word from you. How could you be so irresponsible? You said you wanted to be treated like an adult, yet you do something as stupid as this. You could be deported, Y/N. You could be banned from ever entering Spain again."
"I know, but-"
"Do you? Do you know? You said you wanted to be treated like the adult you claimed you are, but you are not acting like one. Adults take responsibility for their own actions. Adults apologise to their friends for shouting at them. Adults can complete simple forms that take only a few minutes to complete. Adults act like adults," she continued. You felt a singular tear roll down your cheek. "And now you're crying," Alexia threw her hands in the air. "You wanted to be an adult, and you failed." That stung. But it wasn't a lie either. And that made it hurt worse. "Adults own up to their consequences and deal with them."
"Alright, Ale. I think she gets it." Patri tried to help you. She was one of your best friends, after all.
"Does she? Do you understand? Do you understand how much trouble you are in? Not just with me or the club but with the government?"
"Yes," you whispered so quietly that she barely heard you. She straightened to her full height, chest puffed out, shoulders back.
"You will not have contact with anyone from this club until you have received confirmation that you are allowed to work here. I will not allow you to drag them into your mess. When you are allowed back to train, you will be on the pitch every day at 7 am. You will complete extra laps before and after training until I deem it appropriate for you to stop. You will apologise to every single person who works for FC Barcelona for the hassle you have created for them. You will have to earn your right to even sit on the bench, let alone play or be a part of the Starting XI. You will have to earn back our respect, not just as a player, but as a person." Alexia said icily before pushing past you. The others followed suit, slightly concerned for you but still following their captain's lead. Patri gently patted your shoulder as she went.
You made it about 5 minutes into your car journey home before you deemed it too dangerous to drive. You pulled into a quiet side street and sobbed. You had really fucked up. You had really, truly, absolutely fucked up. And you weren't talking about the paperwork. That terrified you, of course. You had never even spoken to the Police, and now you had an open case file against you with the State Department. But what hurt the most was how appallingly and horrifically you had fucked up your friendships. The older girls had taken you under their wings without being asked. And how did you repay them? By behaving like a little brat who wanted to sit at the big girl's table.
The next day, Juan and Carlos turned up on your doorstep, armed with a mountain of paperwork and a tough expression. It had taken you 4 hours to complete all the documents you needed. Your court date came through the post a few weeks later. It was set for a month's time. You had hardly left your house. Initially, you wallowed in self-deprecation and began to hate yourself for how you treated the people in your team. The women that had helped you settle into Spain without being asked. The women who let you sleep in their spare rooms and crash on their couches. The women who filled out essential documents for you without you even realising it. And you had never even thanked them. Instead, you had hated them, resented them for the suffocating feeling you thought they had created. Maybe it was you? Perhaps you were so insistent on doing 'normal' things that you made your own asphyxiating environment around them?
After a week of feeling sorry for … everything, you decided enough was enough. You dragged yourself out of bed and into the shower. You forced yourself to make food and do an at-home workout. After moving your body a little bit, you sat down and began to concoct a plan. Alexia told you you had to apologise to everyone under the FC Barcelona banner. So that's where you would start. You wrote a list with each department on it. You couldn't find individual names, but you knew roughly how big the department was. You wanted to do something that was genuinely hard as an apology.
Buying flowers with a printed note was easy. So, you decided baking was the best option. You could bake reasonably well, and who doesn't love sweet treats. You decided it was better to be safe than sorry, so you made as many cakes, muffins, doughnuts, churros, brownies, and cookies as possible. The works. You couldn't go near the training centre, so you couriered them each day, handing over your mountain of confectionary with a label attached to which department it should go. Inside was a handwritten note apologising profusely for the difficulties you had caused them, promising that you would come to speak to them in person as soon as you were able to. The team was slightly easier to individualise things; you knew their favourites, so you spent a few days baking up a storm for them. You knew they were under strict instructions not to contact you – you wondered what punishment would await them if they tried – but you couldn't deny the total radio silence hurt a little. Could they really cut you out of their life so quickly? But this was your own making, you kept reminding yourself. This was on you. You had to fix this.
Eventually, your time in court came as you handed over the documents. The judge was strict and disapproving, but you could tell the man behind the gavel was nice enough. Your official confirmation documents came two days later, with instructions on who to give them to and when your next form deadlines were. You took out your phone, recorded the dates in your calendar, and wrote them on a piece of paper to pin to your fridge.
All that was left for you to do now was go to training.
Go to training and face the team.
Go to training and face the older girls you had been so rude to.
Go to training and face your captains.
Go to training and face Alexia again.
You set your alarm for 6 am the following day. You completed your usual daily routine – showering, brushing your teeth, getting your protein shake and breakfast, getting changed, getting in the car, and driving to the grounds. You had hoped it would calm you, but as the building got nearer and nearer, your nerves began to skyrocket. Taking steadying breaths, you made your way to the changing rooms. The building was eerie, being this quiet. Typically, the hallways were filled with loud chatter, and the changing rooms were filled with laughter. You made your way onto the pitches at 6.45. You were early, hoping it showed Alexia that you were trying to fix things. You initially decided to stand and wait for her, but then you remembered that she had told you you would be running until she decided you would stop. So, you start doing your stretching and activation. You didn't know this, but the Captains watched you from the conference room. It had floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the training facility. After your stretches, your phone buzzed. Alexia had texted.
Ale <3: 30 laps.
Cariño: Hi. Yes, no problem. Will you be coming outside?
Ale <3: No, but I will know if you cheat.
30 laps was a lot. But you didn't want to cheat; this was your punishment for all the stress you had caused, so you would do it, and you would do it honestly—even if it killed you. You had asked because you wanted to see Alexia. You tried to apologise to her first, but that wasn't an option at the moment.
Ale <3: It's 7. Start running.
You filled with your watch as you took off on a gentle jog.
"30? Are you trying to kill her?" Irene asked as she watched you complete your 20th lap. You had only been running for about 35 minutes, but she was mildly concerned. This was the first time you'd done any significant form of movement in a while.
"She won't be needed in matches for a while. She'll be fine." Alexia wasn't about to let you off the hook.
"I know she won't be at matches for a while, but come on, Ale. She's got to do a full day's training after this. And laps afterwards." Marta pointed out. They had all been disappointed and hurt by your actions, but she thought Alexia might be taking it too far.
"She's fine. And who said she won't be at matches?" Alexia smiled, slightly evilly, Patri thought.
"You did?" Paños looked at her, confused.
"No, I said she won't be playing in matches. She will still attend them." They all shared mildly worried looks but let Alexia have her way.
When you eventually finished, you walked around with your hands on your head, taking deep breaths and trying to slow your heart rate down. 
Ale <3: You can go. Be at breakfast at 8.30.
Your heart sank a little as you felt the iciness behind her texts, but this was your own doing. You had to deal with the consequences—like an adult. You headed to the showers to get dressed for the next training session, your shoulders slightly drooping. Alexia couldn't deny that it pulled on her heartstrings a little, but you must be taught a lesson about accountability.
When you arrived out of the showers, the changing room was busy. Everyone stopped talking as you walked to your cubby. You decided to utilise everyone staring at you to your advantage.
"I would like to take this time to apologise to you as a team. I will be coming and doing it individually as well, but I wanted to do this as a team. I am so, deeply, truly sorry for the way I have been acting in these last few months. I was angry and frustrated, but instead of talking calmly like an adult, I raised my voice and lashed out. I am so sorry. I am also sorry for causing a rift in the team – that was never my intention. I am also sorry for the issues I have caused by not completing simple forms. I apologise." You nodded and turned around, hoping the eyes wouldn't keep looking at you. Ona first broke the silence, nudging you slightly and smirking as you met her eyes.
The training was brutal, and Jonatan was not taking it easy on you (and you were reasonably sure it had a little bit to do with Alexia). You used the time you were allowed to talk to apologise to everyone personally. Most people shook you off, but the older girls listened to you and told them how much you hurt them. They accepted it nonetheless – they could see you were trying to make amends. You got through training without complaints, like an adult. You helped collect the equipment before stopping in front of your 4 captains.
"H – How many laps?" You asked, not quite looking any of them in the eyes.
"5," Alexia commented. You nodded and set off running again.
"Ale, aren't you being a little harsh? You're making her run about 6km today on top of training." Marta looked at you. You looked a little weak, running slower than this morning. But you had the determined glint in your eye that told her only Alexia could make you stop.
"She needs to learn her lesson." She shrugged and moved away.
It continued for about three weeks before Jonatan put his foot down. He was starting to get more than a little concerned by your and Alexia's behaviour. You had made up with the rest of the team entirely. The older girls, bar Alexia, asked you about your evenings, and you asked about theirs—just like any group of adults would do.
"Alexia. You need to stop this. She has proved herself. She has said sorry to every person in this building. You need to stop punishing her. I want her back on the team sheets for matches, and I can't do that with you slowly killing her." Jonatan had called her into his office after training. He hadn't initially questioned her behaviour; he had supported it at the beginning. But he could see that the constant rejection from her was getting to you. You were still young, after all.
"She hasn't," Alexia said, watching as he furrowed his brow in confusion. "She hasn't apologised to me."
"Maybe that's because you keep looking at her like you're going to kill her. I see her come up to you, clearly trying to apologise, and then you stare at her, not unlike how you're staring at me now." She quickly fixed her face. "You're terrifying the poor girl."
Her talk with Jonatan made Alexia question her methods a little bit. Yes, she made you run an additional 35 laps daily, but you had to learn your lesson, right? This was the only way to make you see how you were behaving. She was sure of it. In actuality, she was hurt. Your actions had really hurt her. Disregarding you shouting at her in front of everyone, you hadn't wanted her. And that really stung. She may have wanted you to also feel that pain … just a little bit.
As Alexia walked up to your door, she was slightly … nervous? No, that couldn't be right. She was Alexia Putellas, she didn't get nervous. But she was. It was the same feeling she got as a teenager when she knew she had run late at training, missing her curfew, and knowing that her mother was waiting for her behind the door. She decided she was more apprehensive than nervous. Alexia did not get nervous. As she raised her hand to knock, the door disappeared.
"I really don't know what to do," you jumped slightly as you registered that someone was standing before you. "Oh, hi," you said uncertainly. "Ona, I've got to go … Ale, um, Alexia's here … bye." You hung up the phone, putting your coat back behind the door. "Would you like to come in?" You offered meekly.
"Por favor. If that's ok." You smiled hesitantly and stepped back.
"Would you like a drink? I've got water, juice, tea, coffee … wine?" You sounded so unsure of yourself. Had she caused this?
"A tea would be lovely." You both settled yourself with the standard social conventions.
"I wanted to talk to you, actually," you said as you gestured to the table. "I wanted to apologise to you. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I was rude. I should have been adult enough to discuss my feelings properly," you stared hard at the table, fidgeting with the mug in your hands. As Alexia opened her mouth again, you continued, pushing through before she could comment. "I would also like to apologise for what happened with the documents. I was so stupid not to fill out those forms. I made something that would have taken an afternoon at most into a massive thing. I'm sorry if I caused any embarrassment to you, as a person or as Capitana." You thought you embarrassed her? Yes, what you did was irresponsible, but you were living alone for the first time in a new country. Alexia should have made you do the forms earlier when you still lived with her, not doing them herself without your knowledge.
"Gracias, cariño." You looked up, shocked at the term of endearment. She hadn't called you that in a long time. "I would also like to apologise."
"You have nothing to-" you interjected.
"Sí, cariño, I do. I was so harsh on you. Harsher than what was warranted. I'm sorry. I'm not embarrassed; I never was. I was hurt. You said you didn't need or want me anymore. That hurt me," she explained.
"Ale … Alexia, I'll always want you around. I didn't want to go cold turkey on you. I just wanted you to treat me like you treat Cláudia, or Jana, or Ona. But I never wanted you to not be in my life." She smiled softly at your response. Although, she didn't like that you hesitated to call her Ale.
"Look at us, cariño, talking like the adults we both are." She joked as she sipped on her tea.
"Like the adults we both are, Ale." You smiled back.
So that was part 2. I hope you liked it. I don't think I'll make any more parts, but we shall see.
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donatellawritings · 2 months
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Hiiiii mamacita!! Totally love your writing! Wondering if you’ve seen the trend of girls pranking their bfs by telling them they got waxed by a guy? I’ve already seen loads of fics about it so I was thinking maybe you could do a Rafe one but instead of the wax maybe she could say she got a massage from a dude? And like not even a prank but she went to the spa and actually got massaged by a guy but she thought it was totally innocent so she casually tells Rafe LOL he’d go ballistic
hi baby! omg this is actually so funny
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rafe was completely aware about how serious you were about self-care - you loved being pampered and that was partly thanks to the lavish lifestyle that rafe had introduced to you. you got regular blowouts, fresh sets of cutesy acrylic nails, monthly facials, weekly shopping trips on the mainland - you were a spoiled princess through and through. rafe didn’t mind it though, you worked hard in school and never failed to be the devoted trophy girlfriend that he proudly sauntered around the island. so, when you told rafe that you’d be treating yourself and sarah to a spa day, he didn’t even bat an eyelash, only pressing his lips to yours as he slid his debit card into your purse and slapped your ass as you walked out of the front door.
it was a typical spa day for you, you’d bashfully talk about your days with rafe to your nail lady, while she engrossed you with details about her barging clients. the two of you exchanged bubbly laughs as you sipped on your mocktail, wearing nothing but the fluffy white robe that came complimentary with your spa visit. you were so involved with the relaxing environment that came with getting waited on hand and foot, that you didn’t even realize that your regular masseuse had been swapped out for a middle-aged man who had taken over her position.
now dressed in your figure-hugging, white lace-trimmed romper that rode up the plush curve of your ass, you strutted through the front door of tannyhill, chanel bag in-tow as you relished in your fluid and relaxed state. the exposed skin of your legs, thighs, arms, and chest glowed from the luxuriously creamy oils and lotions used on your skin, your face radiant from your facial as you raised your dior sunglasses to sit on top of your hair. “papi, i’m home,” you sang, placing your purse onto the couch, a low sigh leaving your lips as you reached to grab a glass from the top cabinet.
the thin fabric of your romper became wedged between your taut asscheeks as you stood on the tips of your freshly pedicured toes, a shriek coming from your lips as a harsh smack came down on your ass, “coño, raaafe,” you whined, your pained pout quickly subsiding into a smile as your boyfriend chuckles lightly, pushing his hand down against your spine, bending you over the counter.
rafe was shirtless, wearing nothing but his belted slacks and socks as he feigned a few thrusts into your clothed bottom, before leaning over to kiss the back of your head, “how was the spa, mama, y’got everything done?” he questioned, reaching over you to grab your glass, bringing it to the fridge to fill up with water.
with a smile, you nodded as you approached rafe, sliding your arms around his naked waist with a dreamy sigh, “yeah, i got my nails done, we went for a french manicure and pedicure,” you raised one of your hands to rafe’s eyesight, your eyes brightening with excitement as he kissed your knuckles in approval, “i got a facial, my eyebrows and lashes done, i got waxed,” you sang, earning an enticed hum from rafe as his eyebrows raised with peaked interest.
a giggle escaped your puffed lips as rafe’s hand slid down your back, before he gripped your plush ass, jiggling it a bit as he curved his finger into your wet taint, causing you to throw your head back with a dopey smile, “rafe, listen to me,” you whined playfully.
with a nod, your boyfriend motioned for you to continue as he brought the glass of water to his pink lips, “and i got a full body massage, they used this warm oil - ugh, it was amazing,” you mewled, dramatically leaning your forehead against rafe’s bare chest, “the masseuse was really good, i think he was new-” you continued, bringing your swollen lips together as rafe cocked his head to the side, completely unamused by your revelation.
“he? didn’t y’tell me that it was a girl who does your massages?” rafe quizzed, setting his glass in the sink as he pulled away from you, adjusting his signet ring to sit further on his finger, his jaw strained.
internally you slapped yourself - sure, you knew that the masseuse was only there to do his job, but rafe had made it a point that you were to only have a female masseuse, he wasn’t too keen on having some guy running his hands down your oiled body. now nervously toying with the laced hem of your romper, you bit down into your bottom lip.
“yeah, but she’s on leave sooo,” you stepped closer to rafe, batting your wispy lashes up at his cold eyes, sighing in defeat as he remained stoic, “look, i didn’t even know that they hired someone new, papi,” you squeaked, bringing one of your legs to snake around rafe’s waist as you pushed yourself one, wrapping your other leg around him as his hand instinctively held you up by your ass.
rafe rolled his eyes, unimpressed as he carried you, “y’not going there anymore, princess,” he decided, pecking a short kiss to your lips as you opened your mouth to speak, “m’serious, y’know how i feel about it so don’t fuckin’ ask me,” he confirmed, patting your ass as you let out an exaggerated whine against the skin of his neck.
“you’re so strict,” you spoke, your voice muffled and strained as rafe nodded, refusing to fall into your complaints while he craned his neck back, forcing your eyes to meet, “wait- what if i just let you do my massages, but i can keep going to the spa?” you beamed.
searching your eyes for any hidden intentions, rafe shrugged, “i will fuck you up if you get another massage from him, y’understand?” he warned, completely entranced by your doe eyes and plump lips, not missing the way your warm pussy strained against the fabric of your romper.
smacking a noisy and wet kiss to rafe’s lips, you nodded furiously, “i understand,” you hummed sweetly, letting out a soft moan as rafe suddenly let you drop a few inches, before catching your thighs with his large hand, causing your aching pussy to taste the perfect amount of friction against the crotch of your romper.
with lowly hung eyes, rafe swiftly placed you on top of the kitchen counter forcefully spreading your legs to reveal the sticky wet patch that sat right on your pussy. crouching to reach eye level with your wetness, rafe wordlessly pressed his tongue against the damp spot, allowing his spit to dampen the sweetly-tinged fabric of your romper before enclosing his warm mouth around your clothed-pussy in a sloppy kiss. overly sensitive from the brazilian wax, you sucked in a breath as you tried to close your legs around rafe’s face.
“don’t fuckin’ touch me,” he hummed, licking another long and slippery stripe up your covered pussy, sucking on the wet spot as he held your legs spread with a tight grip on both of your knees, “y’so fuckin’ wet, mama - fuck,” he moaned needily, leaning his face in closer to your pussy as you blissfully throw your head back with parted lips.
“fuck, papi, s’so sensitive,” you moaned, exhaling an uneven shudder of a breath as rafe pressed his tongue into your fabric covered hole, maintaining his strict grip on your wobbly knees as he swallowed your pussy in an open mouthed kiss. your eyes rolled back as your lashes fluttered closed, your tummy tightening with each drooling lick the rafe pressed to you, your freshly painted nails scratching against the smooth countertop, eager for any kind of sensation to ease the race of your incoming orgasm.
rafe's piercing eyes closed with bliss as he pulled your knees to rest over his shoulders, carefully carrying you to lay on the floor, his slick and hot tongue continuing to lap at you, a short laugh vibrating against your clothed clit at the sound of you yelping as your back hit the polished hardwood floor. with your legs now thrown over his broad shoulders, it was easy for rafe to dig his face deeper into you. softly sucking on your clit through the fabric of your glove-like romper, rafe opened his eyes, the sight of your perked nipples straining against the flimsy clothing egging him on just right.
"y'gonna cum all over yourself, mama?" he mocked, hastily spitting on your the area right above your throbbing clit, greedily watching as his spit dripped down between your puffy pussy, "shit," he groaned, returning his head between your legs as you let out a hoarse cry.
with a few more generous licks, your warm cum creamed through the fabric that clung to your pussy, leaving rafe in a cum drunk state as he sucked every drop possible, through your clothing. your eyes slowly opened, your pupils blown as your gaze met rafe's as he licked you selfishly, eager to drink you whole. your chest huffed in and out, your vision grainy as rafe finally pulled his handsome face from between your legs, his nose, lips, and chin shining from your cum and his spit. your plump lips parted as you took in rafe's messy state, before they expanded into a dazed smile.
grabbing rafe's face, you pulled him into a searing kiss, shamelessly sucking on his tongue, eager to taste yourself before pulling away with a 'pop'. the two of you lazily smiled at each other, both too fucked out without actually fucking to speak.
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leclerc-hs · 5 months
Text
lucky pt. 2 - cl16
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Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader Summary: in which you and your childhood best friend, are most definitely in love, but it's too complicated (or is it?) Warnings: most french edited by @softtdaisy (shoutout to her!!), SMUT, angst, 18+, not proofread Word Count: 2,695 Author's Note: I absolutely loved writing this!! I know I said I would wait for the poll to end but I think we can just do bonus scenes in the future if wanted!! xoxo PART 1 BONUS
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Imbécile,” Idiot. Arthur throws a piece of his balled-up napkin, hitting you right in the face. “Maman wants you there, pas d’excuses.” No excuses.
It had been almost two weeks since you and Charles last spoke. The both of you far too stubborn to bring up the argument you last had. Instead, you ignored the problem at hand. By not seeing each other. Sunday dinner at Pascale’s was a weekly occurrence. One that you failed to attend last week, and it was shame on you if you missed another because of Charles.
You release a heavy sigh, acknowledging that you’re about to yield and head over to Pascale’s. After all, it’s not entirely her fault that her son seems to be obvlious to certain things. 
“Il est fou amoureux de toi!” He is in love with you! Arthur exclaims softly as he notices your eyes won’t stray from the icy window of the café you are both seated in. You felt your throat tighten at the phrase.
“Ce n’est pas grave, Arthur,” It doesn’t matter. It didn’t matter. Him being in love with you wasn’t always enough, or so you thought. He could barely commit to his ex-girlfriend. Could he commit to you? You couldn’t handle losing him if it didn’t work out. It was a recipe for disaster to begin with.
The two of you didn’t realize how dark it was already getting. Meaning you were for sure late to Pascale’s.
“Tu viendras avec moi?” Will you come with me?
“Bien sur.” Of course. You couldn’t not go. One, because you knew nothing but seeing Pascale will put a smile on your face. Two, Arthur wouldn’t let you leave this café without dragging you to his Maman’s first. 
It was a short drive from the café to Pascale’s place. The limited size of the principality made the journey quick, allowing you to take in the charming scenery along the way. As you approached Pascale’s home, a smile graced your lips at the sight of the festive decorations adorning the steps.
Pascale’s touch was evident in the small Christmas trees, their lights casting a warm glow that sparkled beside the front door. The holiday spirit infused the air, creating a sense of coziness and anticipation. 
The warmth of Pascale’s home enveloped you as Arthur swung the door open. His hand gently found its place on the small of your back, guiding you inside with a gesture that spoke of familiarity and care.
He assisted you in shedding the layers of clothes you wore. Your scarf and jacket were in his hands, swiftly finding their place on the nearby coat rack. Amidst the exchange, laughter bubbled up, a spontaneous reaction to the slightly comical struggle Arthur faced in unraveling the scarf from your neck.
The sound of shared laughter echoed through the entrance and into the home, allowing the others to become alert of your presence.
“Que se passe t’il?” What’s going on? You felt your laugh stop almost instantly.
Charles’ question hung in the air, and for a moment you were caught off guard. The warmth of Pascale’s cozy home surrounded you, but the sudden seriousness in his tone made you pause. You looked into his eyes, searching for any hints of the playful banter that usually characterized your interactions.
He stood not too far away, a soft white hoodie and a casual pair of jeans on. You felt your heart clench with want. You missed him. You wanted to hug him and never let go.
“Rien, juste une journée un peu folle,” Nothing, just a bit of a crazy day. You replied with a sheepish smile. Your attempt to brush off the question with a casual response didn’t escape Charles notice. He studied your face for a moment, trying to decipher your emotions. 
Arthur, sensing some tension, guided you towards the living room and past Charles. As you both settled into the inviting cushions, the crackling sounds from the fireplace filled the room with a soothing rhythm.
Pascale entered the room carrying two glasses of wine. “Ma fille,” My girl she says, a term of endearment feeling much like a warm embrace to you. Pascale handed you one of the glasses with a tender smile, sealing the gesture with a gentle kiss on your cheek. 
Charles’s unease didn’t go unnoticed as he took a seat on the sofa across from you and Arthur. The atmosphere seemed charged with tension, and Pascale’s seemingly casual question carried a weight that went beyond mere curiosity.
“Est-ce que tu vois quelqu’un?” Are you seeing anybody? Pascale asked, her tone gentle but perceptive. The question, on the surface, appeared to be a routine inquiry about your romantic life. However, the underlying context hinted at a concern born out of a missed dinner and deviation from the usual routine. 
The atmosphere in the room shifted as you became acutely aware of Charles’s intense gaze beside Pascale. Seated on the couch, his eyes bore into you with an intensity that seemed to pierce through the very core of your being. His eyes, like embers, conveyed a myriad of emotions – curiosity, intensity, and perhaps a touch of scrutiny. 
“Maman, laisse-la tranquille,” Leave her alone. Arthur speaks before you can. A sense of relief filling you up as you take a large gulp of the red wine in your glass.
Pascale scrunches her eyes at Arthur, poised to deliver a retort that only she knows. However, before any words escape her lips, the timer in the kitchen interrupts the moment. “Arthur, viens m’aider.” Come help me. Arthur gives you a sympathetic look before leaving the room following Pascale. 
Lost in thought, your gaze fixates on the flickering flames within the fireplace. The dancing firelight casts shadows that capture your attention, creating a mesmerizing display that seems more captivating than acknowledging a brooding Charles, seated across from you.
“Tu ne peux pas m’ignorer éternellement,” You can’t ignore me forever. His voice interrupts your train of thought, gently pulling you back into the present moment.
The solitary sentence prompts an immediate eye roll from you. How dare he? How dare he pretend that you’re the only one at fault?
“Ne lève pas les yeux au ciel en me regardant,” Don’t roll your eyes at me. The atmosphere shifted as he rose from his seat on the couch, undoubtedly making his way to occupy the now vacant spot beside you. However, the nature of his touch became more intimate than you anticipated. His hands ventured onto your thigh, traveling higher than the boundaries of a typical friendship would permit. 
In a disconcerting turn of events, his other hand gripped your jaw, redirecting your gaze to meet his. The sudden change in physical proximity and the assertiveness of his actions left palpable tension in the air.
“Vas y,” Make me. You provoked him deliberately, seeking to burrow beneath his skin, much like he had already done under yours.
“Viens chez moi.” Come home with me. It wasn’t posed as a question; rather, it was a firm demand – one you were aware you would yield to. You didn’t need to articulate your response; he could discern it just by the slow flicker of your eyes to his. Without another word, you withdrew your chin from his hands and stood up, making your way into the kitchen, and leaving him behind. 
“Nous avons des choses à discuter.” We have more to discuss. You hear him say loud enough for you to hear but low enough for no one else to hear before you cross into the threshold of the kitchen. 
🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️
Discuss.
You laughed mentally at the word. You and Charles were indisputably not engaging in anything resembling a discussion, that much was certain. Unless you consider the dirty phrases, he’s whispering in your ear a discussion.
“Tu es tellement sexy,” You’re so hot. Charles moans into your mouth as he pushes you onto his unmade bed, falling with you in the process. Both of your clothes were long gone— strewn along the pathway you took from his front door to his bed. “Faite pour moi, putain.” Fucking made for me.
He didn’t know where to look, darting from your thighs to your lips to your unforgettable eyes. His jaw flexed as he let out a soft growl deep in his chest as his finger hooked into the band of your delicate silk panties and ripped them from your body. “Je t’en achèterai advantage.” I’ll buy you more. 
He was so impatient. Couldn’t even wait until he tossed your panties to the side before his mouth was on your center. You gasped as his lips enveloped your sensitive clit and getting a full taste of you. He moaned, dipping his tongue inside of you.
You really believed you could die right here and now. He pulled away momentarily just to look at you, glistening and moaning beneath him. It was a sight he wanted to burn in his memory forever. 
“Tu me rends fou." You drive me insane.
You couldn’t stop moaning. You wanted to tell him that he was the one who drove you insane. That the feeling was more than mutual. But you were incoherent with pleasure. Incapable of words.
He curved two fingers inside of you, almost instantly rubbing your g-spot. “Yeah?” He edged you on. His words alone pushing you to the threshold of your orgasm. “Tu aimes ça?” You like that?
His words were nearly as perilous as his touch. He was smirking above you like the cocky motherfucker he was. You felt delusional as his fingers stroked your g-spot continuously that when he flipped you over and pulled you up to your knees, you let out a shriek of surprise. 
You felt your orgasm closing in as he refused to let up on the assault of your clit. Your orgasm came so fast, you couldn’t even warn Charles before you were trembling all over his fingers.
“Oui, soak me.” Your orgasm was explosive, you could feel your legs shaking. Before you could even recover from the last orgasm, Charles was bringing his fingers that were coated in you to his mouth.
“J'ai vraiment besoin de toi,” I really need you. You muttered softly. The confession so raw. It made Charles heart clench with need to ravish you completely. To ruin you for anybody else.
His grip on your hips tightened as he slipped himself inside of you, eliciting a loud groan. “Mon dieu,”My God.  He moaned. “Tu me fais me sentir si bien,” You make me feel so good.
Your pussy clenched tightly around him at his words. His breaths were jagged and heavy in your ear as he took you harder and harder. 
“Ma salope,” My slut. He groaned, bottoming himself out. “My lucky.”
He could tell that you were there already again, the way you were squeezing him so tight and the clench of your hands trying to support you on the mattress. 
“C’est si bien que ça?,” Is it that nice? “Gonna come for me?”
You did. Your eyes wet with tears from the intensity as his hands squeezed your hips, leaving bruises. He didn’t stop the assault on your pussy, kept pounding into you. He was ruthless.
He threw his head back with a string of curses before pressing soft kisses to your back. He didn’t bother to pull out. He wanted you full of him. In all ways, shapes, and forms. He was selfish. You were thankfully on the pill. He held himself there for a few moments before pulling out and rolling you over to your back so you could face him. He buried his face into your neck, leaving small gentle kisses as you both caught your breath. 
Eventually Charles was able to find the strength to stand and clean you up, pressing a warm cloth to your center as he peppered small kisses to the inside of your thighs. You felt your heart flutter as he tossed the cloth into the hamper and joined you back in the bed, pulling you into his chest under the covers.
You could feel his mind was running a million miles a minute as he traced small circles on your skin. He wanted to ask if you went on any other dates. But he couldn’t handle if you said yes. 
“Qu’est-ce que tu as en tête?” What’s on your mind? You asked.
You were preparing for yet another fight. There was no escaping it any longer. The only sound that filled the air was both of your breathing.
“Je veux que tu sois mienne.” I want you to be mine. As you lay on his chest, you sensed his heartbeat quickening. In response, a soft laugh escaped you, uncertain of how to reply. The weight of your reaction hung heavy in the air, adding more pressure. 
You had to put a stop to this. You felt the panic constricting your throat. You couldn’t continue down this path with him. As you tried to sit up and distance yourself from Charles, his hand swiftly seized your arm, compelling you back towards him. He was determined to make you stay, refusing to let you escape from this conversation any longer.
“Non, arête de fuir le sujet,” No, stop running away from it. He insisted, urging you to stop evading it.  “Il sait déjà que tu m’aimes,” I already know that you love me. He declared, his words rushing out of him uncontrollably. It was as if he couldn’t halt the flow, a sense of panic palpable in his voice. 
You loved him; it wasn’t a secret. Fear held you back. The thought of losing him permanently if things didn’t work out was too daunting. So, you’ve tried to maintain a distance, but it was futile. It was as if he had become your vital source of oxygen – indispensable. You found yourself inextricably linked; your souls entwined. 
“Je ne veux pas te perdre!” I don’t want to lose you. You felt the words rush out of your mouth in a frenzy. His touch, his stare, this conversation was all too much to handle. 
“Je t’aime!” I love you! He repeated it over and over. He wouldn’t stop. You could see the anger forming in his face with each proclamation he made. He was angry. Why wouldn’t you listen? Why wouldn’t you believe him?
“Je suis bien avec toi!” I feel good when I’m with you!
“Tu me plait!” You make me happy!
“J’ai envie de t’embrasser!” I want to kiss you!
“Sans toi, je ne suis rien!” Without you, I am nothing!
“Tu es l’amour de ma vie!” You’re the love of my life!
“Je veux passer ma vie avec toi!” I want to spend my life with you!
“Mon dieu, I even breathe better when I’m with you.”
Tears spilled from your eyes, but he persisted, like a broken record playing an urgent message. His need for you to understand was palpable. He laid bare his soul, expressing that if it wasn’t for you, it would be no one. The pain in his chest mirrored the intensity of his emotions.
His hands held you tightly, rendering you incapable of moving. He needed you close. In response, you brought your hands to his face, swiftly pressing your lips against his.
You felt him grab your face during the kiss, his thumbs brushing the tears from your eyes in the process. 
“You’re mine. My lucky,” he broke the kiss. “You’ve always been mine.”
Your gazes locked, and you held each other’s eyes for an extended moment, as if attempting to decipher the entirety of each other’s thoughts through this intense connection.
“Oui?” He asked softly, seeking confirmation. He needed to hear you say you were his, a moment he had been waiting for his entire life.  He knew he had you now. But he wanted your words.
You recognized there was no longer an option to escape. You belonged to him, and it wasn’t up for discussion. He possessed your heart and soul entirely. You knew that you needed to take a risk. A risk for him. 
You nodded your head slowly, “Oui.”
TAG LIST: @harrysdimple05 @rachyroo-99 @rana030
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thehighladywrites · 21 days
Text
— “He clearly doesn’t want you!”
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☀︎ — pairing: nerd/tutor azriel x bimbo/ditzy/popular reader
☀︎ — summary: after yoga class you and your friends run into a sweaty, hot, big armed Azriel.
☀︎ — warnings: fluff, azriel get’s hit on by creepy friend, reader punches someone, possessiveness, protective reader, secret relationships come to light, kisses and hugs
☀︎ — amara’s note: thank u guys for the patience, the next one will be smutty👀👀💗
series masterlist
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“Oh my god, who is that?” Letty, your sorta friend, exclaims, eyeing the figure behind you from head to toe.
You blink, tilting your head and squinting as if trying to figure out a puzzle. "Who?"
As heads turn to see, anticipation fills the air. The man stands with his back to you, but there's something unmistakable about his shoulders, the way he carries himself. It's Azriel, unmistakably, his muscular frame reminding you of the intimate moments you've shared.
It was yoga day, so you headed to your weekly session at the gym. Never did you imagine you’d see Azriel using some fancy machine. You didn’t even know your boyfriend worked out here; sure, you knew he did, but not here. He looked incredibly good, although you were aware that your so-called friends only looked at his body. If they knew who said body belonged to, they would totally roll their eyes.
It seriously irked you because they never even glanced at campus, but now they were drooling over him. Like, hello? He's totally yours, and it's so annoying to see them fawning over him. Ugh, seriously, can they not see he's off-limits?
"Okay, let’s—let’s just go, I wanna get some food. I'm sooo hungry," you say with a dramatic flair, clutching your stomach and fluttering your eyelashes.
Letty shakes her head, still gazing at your boyfriend. "Hmm, no, I think I’ll go say hi," she says determined, twirling a strand of her hair.
She walks over, putting a hand on his back, making him jump. The move makes you feel murderous as you observe how Azriel is so very obviously uncomfortable. How dare she?
"Hi, I haven’t seen you around. Are you new?" she asks, her hand still lingering on his back.
"Get your hand off of me, you are making me quite uncomfortable," Azriel responds firmly.
"Yeah? We could,like, leave and get comfortable in other ways," she suggests with a suggestive smile.
"Um, I’m good. I really don’t want to leave with you. I’m not available." Azriel replies, his discomfort palpable.
"Oh, come on—"
"Um, hello??? What part of 'no' are you not getting? He clearly doesn't want you," you say with a cute furrow between your perfectly shaped brows, your glossy lips pursing as you cross your arms over your chest, stepping closer to Azriel.
Letty and the rest of your soon-to-be ex-friends look between the three of you with comically large brows.
“Azriel is my boyfriend, and he loves me a lot, and I love him even more, there’s no way he’s going with you. He's mine and mine only, so if any of that clicked for you, i’m going to need you to get your Dollar Tree nails off of him, like right now.” you declare, narrowing your eyes at them, your possessive tone leaving no room for doubt about your feelings for him.
They had never seen you like this before. Usually, you were bubbly, ditzy, a little stupid, but never possessive, cold, and jealous.
Letty lets out a demeaning laugh, looking back at the group who soon start to laugh at demand like dogs.
“Did you say Azriel? That teachers pet guy in your math class? Y/n, do you think I’m stupid? This man is hot, that disgusting loser from your math class is a social reject who’s probably a closeted perv—“
Her words grate on your nerves, and you're fed up with her bitchy attitude. Without another thought, you ball up your fist and punch her straight in the face, of course, very careful of your nails.
Azriel startles a little, pulling you in by the waist before Letty tries something.
“You bitch, you broke my nose!” she yells, clutching her bleeding nose.
You shrug, attempting to wriggle out of Azriel's iron grip to no avail. “You should be thanking me, I mean, your botched nose job needed an upgrade anyway. I’d suggest Dr. Heartman for the fix-up!” you yell the last bit as Azriel drags you away to a secluded corner.
Azriel doesn’t let you go until your erratic breathing has calmed down, and you look up at him with those familiar loved out eyes he loves.
“You okay?” he asks carefully, his brow furrowing with worry.
“Yeah, I’m good. M’sorry you had to see me like that,” you say with a pouty expression, your voice a bit airy. You flash him those adorable doe eyes, your shoulders sagging as you twist your lips.
He nods, still looking concerned. “It’s all good, sweetheart. But are you sure? You didn’t have to do that for me,” he says, his worry evident in his endearing, caring demeanor.
You melted. Even though he was getting uncomfortable and hit on, he was still checking on you. As sweet as it was, you wanted to be the one caring for him in this moment.
“Oh, babe, I would like totally do anything for you! I am so freaking in love with you, I’d totally give up my entire closet for you. And trust me, that’s like, a big deal,” you say with a girly giggle, knowing just how much your clothes meant to you.
But your love for clothes would never ever come close to the love you felt for Azriel.
“But what now? Your friends know about me.”
You tilted your head in confusion. “So? You're not some dirty secret. I want people to know about you.”
“Yeah?”
You got closer, dropped your water bottle and bag before standing on your tippy toes, pressing a sweet, tender kiss on his lips, your heart fluttering with affection.
He pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you as he returned the kiss. “Thank you, sweet girl.”
“Mhm, never worry about her again, Azzie. I will so punch her if she even dares to look at you,” you declared with fierce determination.
Azriel looked down at you, a tender smile gracing his lips as he kissed the tip of your nose. “I feel safer already. How about we go get some ice cream? Maybe make out in the car?”
Your eyes lit up with excitement, and a wide grin spread across your face. He had really gotten more comfortable with expressing his wants and it made you so proud and happy
“I’m so in!”
He changed quickly, holding your hand as you walked out of the gym. As you strolled down the street, he finally voiced the question that had been on his mind.
“So, uh, Dr. Heartman any good?”
You couldn't help but smirk mischievously, lifting your chin. “The absolute worst.”
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498 notes · View notes
delfiore · 1 month
Text
—I'LL NEVER WIN YOUR HEART.
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pairing: alexia putellas x reader
synopsis: aside from endless hatred and devastating love, you don’t know anything else when it comes to alexia.
word count: 2k
tw: aNGST, spicy stuff, enemies to lovers to ……….?
a/n: wow has it really been a month since i last posted that's insane (i'm not being sarcastic i'm actually so shook at how fast time passes).
now playing:
Her eyebrows narrowed. Her jaw clenched. Her eyes lasered in like a hawk.
Even from across the club, several of your teammates knew to get the hell out of her way when she made a beeline towards you.
Alexia was scary when she was angry. There was an untouchable force to her that made one cower under her steely gaze. You used to feel the effect of it, once upon a time, but recently it was almost a weekly occurrence that she would direct her hardened gaze at you.
And now, as she fixed that deathly glare onto you, you felt your arm being yanked just as you were about to kiss the beautiful stranger you met mere minutes ago.
“What the fuck, Alexia!” Admittedly, you were buzzed, and any obstruction to your enjoyment would irritate you.
“Come with me,” she gritted her teeth.
“No! Let me go!”
She tugged on your arm and dragged you away despite your protests. The bathroom at the back of this club was filthy, and the door barely did anything to block out the thumping music outside, but Alexia pushed you into one of the stalls anyway, caging you in between her arms on either side of your head.
You had half a heart to slap her across the face when she shoved you against the divider and kissed you like a barbarian, lips and teeth clashing against one another in a heated mess. She had no right to do this, but her entitlement made it so you were trapped in her grasp again.
The worst part was that you enjoyed it, very much, especially when she went on her knees to do what she always did best.
It happened not too dissimilar to how it started. Your frustration mixed with her only ensured you both collided in the most spectacular way. You remembered arguing with her after a horrible game, both of you throwing blame at each other. It happened so quickly, that before you knew it, your hatred had turned to lust. Hatefucking, as one might call it. Suddenly, all you could think about each day was how much you hated Alexia and couldn't wait to fall into bed with her.
“You can’t just do that and pretend like nothing happened.”
Your words came out rushed as you were still trying to catch your breath. Alexia exited the stall and went to wash her hands, doing so with a frustrating nonchalance.
She met your gaze in the mirror. “Can’t I?”
You scoffed. “Why do I bother? La Reina never gets off her high horse, does she? You’ve never respected me, ever.”
“That’s not true.” Her eyes flickered, and you thought you could see unspoken words behind them.
“Then what was that earlier?” You asked, irritated.
“I should ask you the same question,” she said firmly. “I thought we were fine. And now I see you grinding on some girl at the club? I mean—what is this, Y/N?”
It was always like that with Alexia, and if she didn’t say what she wanted to say, then you couldn’t help her.
“It’s not like you care,” you gritted your teeth. “I hope you had fun with Olga, by the way.”
Now it was her turn to scoff. “She’s my friend.”
“She was also your ex.”
“Can’t I be friends with my ex? And who are you to tell me who I should and shouldn’t hang out with?”
She was right. You had no place in her life to be telling her that. It was purely your desire, or a lack thereof, to hold a special place in her heart, but maybe you were foolish to wish for it when there has been so much history between you.
You chewed on your bottom lip, a habit you had since you were young. You suddenly felt the bathroom walls closing in on you—you needed to get out of there quickly.
Wordlessly, you shoved past her and returned to the club, the music once again deafening and pumping in your chest. You expelled a breath; the cute stranger was nowhere to be seen, and neither were Patri and Pina, with whom you came. That’s fine, there was an entire nightclub’s worth of people. You would find at least one person who would make you forget how much you despised Alexia and—maybe for the night—how much you loved her.
The story could have gone so differently. You two were similar in age, grew within the ranks of the Spanish youth teams together, then played at Barcelona together. You both played in midfield and younger players looked to you for guidance and leadership. Yet, it was known among your teammates that the two of you couldn’t stand to be in the same room. Ever since you were young, your similar play styles and clashing personalities ensured that you always butt heads on the field, and eventually, off it too. You grew up with this hatred of Alexia, as she did of you, but you could barely remember why. You were brazen and Alexia was cold, and that never worked for either of you.
It seemed she had had enough of your attitude one day, and shoved you so hard in training you thought you might have sprained an ankle. Some of the other girls noticed her distaste for you and started to distance themselves to gain favor with her. Then, Alexia became the best player in Spain, and you were always in her shadow. The media called you her ‘healthy rivalry’, even when you played for the same club. If you didn’t hate her as much as you did, they all ensured that you would never be able to get along ever again.
There was a memory that you buried deep inside, but it would easily surface again on nights like this. It made you question everything you’ve felt for Alexia, this thorn in your side that has never let you know peace
It was the summer of 2012 at a Spain U-19 camp. You had barely gotten any sleep the night before you came because it was your first call-up to represent your country. Alexia, of course, had become a familiar face in the team by the time you arrived. She wasn’t seen at breakfast one morning, and a coach said that she was dealing with personal matters. What you didn’t anticipate was finding her sitting alone by the steps of an entrance bawling her eyes out. You had tried to retreat, but Alexia had looked up before you could go.
“S-Sorry, I’ll just—”
“Mi papá . . .” Her voice was quiet like she didn’t want you to hear. Then, she burst into tears again. You had never seen Alexia like this, so distraught and vulnerable. The friends she liked to keep around were nowhere to be seen either. She never liked to appear weak in front of others.
Against your better judgment, you approached and sat next to her. “What happened?”
Exhaling shakily, she answered. “He was very sick. I just got the call from my mom.”
Your mouth hung open, unable to form words. As Alexia smeared her tears away with the back of her sleeve, she suddenly appeared younger and unlike the captain that you’ve come to know her. She was just a girl, who’d had something terrible happen to her, and you would be the biggest jerk not to push whatever you had between you aside.
“I’m sorry,” you only managed to say.
She said nothing and rested her face on the inside of her elbows.
“I’m sure he was very proud of you.”
“Please don’t say anything,” she breathed out, making you wince.
“Okay.”
Alexia sniffled. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Okay,” you nodded slightly. You didn’t like talking about your feelings either. It was the first thing you found Alexia and you had in common.
You started to feel sick. Your head spun like you had just stepped out of a washing machine, but still, you reached for the passing bartender who looked at you with patronizing eyes.
“Another.”
“Y/N, that’s enough.”
You pushed her hand away, mentally cursing at her interruption.
“Fuck off.”
“I’m gonna have to explain to Jona why you’re still shitfaced at training tomorrow.”
“Fuck. Off. I don’t fucking care.”
Then, you heard her say something she had never said to you before. “Please. Let’s go home.”
The truth was, you never wanted to protest her. Maybe the years have softened you, but you didn’t want to admit how much you craved her affection. There were times when you despised her and thought her the lowest form of a human being.
“Please don’t do this,” you pleaded. You felt your heart hammering in your chest, as you watched her frantically spring out of bed.
“I—uh, have to go. I’m meeting someone for lunch.” She replied, reaching for her pants strewn across the floor.
“Ale, I’m sorry . . .” You managed a pathetic whimper, tears threatening to fall. “Can we just pretend I never said anything?”
How is it that she had made you feel so euphoric merely moments later, and now you felt like you had hit rock bottom? Only because those stupid words slipped out of your mouth.
. . . But was it such a crime to tell her that you loved her, when it was your truth?
You learned the hard way that Alexia didn’t want what you wanted. Maybe it was just her, or maybe it was you, and she didn’t want anything to do with you. If that were true, you were foolish to think for even a second that she would. You never gave her much to like anyway.
But still, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have any feelings for her. But aside from endless hatred and devastating love, you don’t know anything else when it comes to Alexia.
She had brought you back to your apartment, supporting you by holding you close and guiding you inside gradually.
The moment you hit the mattress, you groaned at the snugness of your own bed. Your eyes were barely open, but you saw the way she pulled your shoes off your feet and coaxed you to sit up so she could shed your outer coat.
But that was it. She was afraid to help you further, as it would resurface emotions Alexia thought should be buried, emotions that reminded her of sleepless nights and passion.
“Why are you so quick to get away from me?” You mumbled into your pillow.
You heard her sigh. “I brought you home, didn’t I?”
“Am I really that detestable that you wouldn’t even look at me?”
Her eyes met yours, but unlike earlier in the night, they now held a softness. “You know I don’t hate you. I never did.”
“Then stay.” You whispered, your head still spinning, but all you could focus on was her. “Stay with me. Please, we won’t do anything. I just don’t want to be alone.”
You didn’t care that you were begging her. You were tired of being pulled from end to end, and it was so much easier to love than to hate her.
You thought she would laugh in your face, pack her things and leave. Yet, when you opened your eyes again, she was lying in bed next to you, under the cover and all. She had changed into your clothes, so much more time had passed than you had thought.
“Go to sleep. We have training tomorrow,” Alexia whispered, her lips brushing your forehead softly.
You obliged, nuzzling your head into her chest as you let the comfort of her embrace lull you to sleep. You were too tired to fight it, to tell her no, that you would talk to her seriously about the two of you, even if you were drunk. It wasn’t the first time you had fallen for Alexia’s lies; all the other times, she left you in the dirt after giving you her everything for you to pick up the pieces yourself.
You hated her because you loved her. But maybe this is enough, you thought before sleep took over, just for tonight.
Maybe tomorrow will be different.
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shittyakechiweekly · 1 year
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wait hold up is the ant thing like one of akechi's canon interests??? is it something that was added to his character in the royal that i just havent seen yet?? im not done with the third semester, pls im just an old vanilla fan
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dreamingonclds · 2 months
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Unintentional | FA14
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Summary: Y/n and Fernando Alonso were both professionals, both only seemingly having time for their careers. They both have had their fair share of relationships but they’ve never become serious for either of them. Y/n is an A-list celebrity, a highly respected actress and Fernando a champion athlete, a Formula One driver. Nobody could’ve ever imagined both of their paths to cross but, they do. It was said that their relationship was destined to fail, their 16 year age gap being too large to be sustained. But, to everyone's surprise, a blessing they created without intention was just enough to fill that gap, like fate.
Pairing: Fernando Alonso x Reader
Word Count: 2,722
Warnings: None
Chapter 1
Note: If you would like to be added to the taglist, please @ yourself in the comments!
As you meticulously applied your lipstick, your mind couldn’t help but wander to the thought of who you would meet tonight. Your stomach bubbled with nerves, a sensation you always got with meeting new people; despite how long you had been in the industry for. You met new people almost weekly, nothing new in the entertainment industry. You were used to meeting wealthy business people and pretending to care about anything that came out of their mouths. But you were genuine about meeting new directors, writers, and filmmakers; you genuinely cared about what they had to say.
Tonight was no different, you had been invited to a dinner by some friends. It just so happened that those friends were in the industry too and it just so happened that the dinner would be in Beverly Hills. So, you knew that tonight would be a night of pretending to care because the people who actually cared for the artistry of entertainment would never choose to dine in Beverly Hills. And you were a professional, so you sucked it up, put a smile on your face, and decided to have a good night.
So, you decided that to have a good night you had to have a good outfit. You were a public figure, a very popular one at that, so you did have to dress to impress. And you didn’t mind, you loved fashion and you loved to shop so it all worked out. You also cared about your appearance and wanted people to like you, but not for how you looked. You wanted people to like you for the person you were and what you brought to the table. And unfortunately, that goes hand in hand with physicality in this world. So you slip on a back silk dress because those always do the job.
Arriving at the restaurant, you thank your chauffeur as he helps you out of the car and guides you to the entrance. Stepping into the restaurant you’re immediately greeted by your friends and introduced to all the unfamiliar faces. Soon enough you're all making your way through the restaurant, several diners turning their heads to you all, some trying to sneakily snap pictures which you notice every time. Once you're seated at the ridiculously large table, you notice the empty seat beside you and around the table.
“People missing?” you ask your friend sitting right across from you.
“Yeah, they’re running a little late but they should be here very soon.” she answers, giving you a small smile.
After a little conversation, you all turn your heads to the chatter that is seemingly making its way towards you all. Sure enough, it’s the missing half of your party and as you scan your eyes through all of them, one catches your eye.
“Here they are!” your friend announces, standing up to greet them and everyone follows.
In the midst of the commotion, bodies moving left to right you hear your friend declare seating arrangements.
“Fernando, why don’t you sit next to Y/N, she speaks Spanish too.” she says pointing you out so he knows who you are.
You see a man nod and begin to approach, you notice the brunette with semi-shaggy hair and a short beard. Sure enough, it’s the one who caught your eye earlier on. He greets you with a kiss on both cheeks that you reciprocate and helps you into your seat.
“What a gentleman, thanks. Fernando, right?” you look towards him, wanting to start a conversation like the rest of the table is doing
“Of course, Y/n?” he nods in response and you do the same, noticing his accent. As you make eye contact, you begin to note the faint lines around his eyes and the maturity of his face. Your mind begins to wonder, whether he’ll take you seriously noticing the lack of physical maturity on your 26-year-old face. Usually, men over 5 years older than you never took you seriously, their conversations always started professional but quickly turned to comments about your body and sexual experience.
Before either of you could get another word in, the waiter begins to ask for your drinks of choice. Usually, you would go for a beverage that would liven you up but, you had a rule that you only drank at dinner when everybody at the table were your friends. So, you asked for the next best thing.
“I’ll take a coke please.” you tell the waiter, who quickly jots it down and looks to Fernando next
“Uh, I’ll take the same please” Fernando turns to look at you with a confused look
“Oh, I don’t know everybody at this table so, I’d like to get to know you with a sober mind.” you tell him matter of factly, hoping that was the explanation he was looking for. Although it was the truth, you did want to get to know the rest of the table; but specifically him. In what seemed like record time, the waiter comes back setting down all of your drinks.
“Igualmente” Likewise he nods towards the brown beverage in front of him.
“I thought maybe you were still too young to drink, you look young, why do you want to get to know me?” he asks, bringing his glass to his lips.
“I’m 26, not that young. And you're sitting right beside me, we have a long night ahead. Why not get to know you; your friends.” you add the last part in, trying to deflect and hide your interest in him; hoping he doesn’t catch on.
“Why’d you copy me, I mean no offense but, you don’t look like you just turned 21?” he brought up your age first, two can play at that game.
He chuckles, still looking at you.
“I’m 42, not that young either.” he says in truth. And before you can respond he speaks again.
“Pretty girl, pretty dress.” he brings his glass to his lips, looking away nonchalantly.
“And you’re sitting right beside me.” he states matter of factly, using your own words against you.
Your jaw drops the slightest and your eyebrows scrunch in surprise. His confidence, so abrupt it takes you a few seconds to bring your face back to its natural resting place. Despite your efforts to look cool and unaffected, you can see the pride your reaction gives him. With a teaseful look in his eye, he offers you a smirky smile that makes your stomach erupt in butterflies. Your cheeks and ears go hot, and you now find it hard to sit still or contain the smile pulling at your lips.
The rest of the night goes exactly as expected, the two of you deep in conversation and completely ignoring the rest of the table. There’s a tension that's rising that even the others can feel. Neither of you even realize how many times they’ve teased you two or tried to get you to join their conversation. You’ve also failed to notice the pointed phones from other diners and sneaky restaurant workers.
As you all are ending your dinner, restaurant patrons and workers start making their way to your table. Asking for pictures and autographs from you and your party alike, both separately and together. Little did you know that those images would lead to a whirlwind of speculation, the world seemed to spiral at the thought of you together.
Your group converses outside the restaurant for a few minutes, a back and forth of what the plans for the rest of the night were. You stood there to yourself contemplating whether you wanted to continue your night. You had a fitting in the morning and a couple of online meetings you had to prepare for. Considering it was nearing 1 am, you decided to head home with a professional attitude to your day ahead.
Before you can interrupt the group to bid your goodbye, Fernando makes his way to your side.
“Are you going out for more drinks too?” he turns to you.
“I have meetings in the morning, I think I’m just gonna head home.” you nod your head.
“Me too actually, I drove here by myself. Let me take you home.” he points at himself.
“Yeah, that’d be nice actually; thank you.” 
You both take a few steps forward towards the group, ready to bid your farewells together. But before either of you can mutter a word, your friend's chatter amplifies into a passionate discussion about who knows what. Fernando turns to look at you, an amused smile on his lips that turns into a chuckle after noticing your surprised expression.
“Mejor nos esperamos.” We better wait, he jokes, and you giggle looking towards him, only to realize his eyes were already set on you.
“Buena idea” Good idea,  you say with a smile, continuing the playful vibe of the setting. You two carry on with your light-hearted conversation. Unconsciously backing away from the group until your back hits the restaurant's ornate rail. Fernando holding on to the rail on your right side, halfway caging you in, seemingly protecting you from passersby giving you questioning glances; realizing who you were.
Your conversation continues and you two get lost in getting to know each other. You learn that he’s a champion F1 driver and he learns the movies he’s seen you in, not knowing it was you. Before he can finish saying where his next race will be, you're drawn out of your heart to heart by shouts from your group.
“Hey lovebirds, you guys coming?” your friend shouts pointing down the street, implying a prolonged night out.
A sheepish smile forms on your lips and you shake your head, “We both have busy mornings tomorrow. We’re gonna skip this one!”
“Alright then, don’t have too much fun!” someone teases, causing the rest of the group to laugh.
Fernando smiles and shakes his head at the joke, “I’m just going to take her home!”
You all exchange thank you’s and appreciation for dinner before saying your goodbyes. Then begin to make your way down your respective sides of the street. He leads you to his car, not in front of you but by walking closely behind you, guiding you with a light touch to your back. He helps you in, chivalrously, taking your bag from you, opening the door, and taking your hand to help you in. You take notice of what car he drove, a luxurious sports car, that to you matched the reputation of an F1 champion. You questioned yourself on if you wanted him to live up to the reputation of a man like him.
Before he can drive off, he makes sure you’re both buckled in and asks for your address. You give it to him and then you're off to your luxurious hotel, which the movie you were in Beverly Hills for set you up with. You two continue your conversation the whole time, only stopping when Fernando gets out of the car first to open your door. He walks you to your room, as he insists on “dropping you off”. But really, you’re more than happy to oblige to his request as you didn’t want the night to end.
“No paps.” Fernando blurts randomly, as you both make your way through the lobby.
You scan the room and realize he was right, you only saw the employees and the occasional normal guest.
“Oh yeah” you acknowledge, normally every hotel in Beverly Hills was swamped with paparazzi no matter the time. So you worked it up to luck, you two got lucky tonight. Little did you know that this would foreshadow the rest of your relationship.
You make it to your room and unlock the door, stepping into the doorframe and turning to face Fernando. You two stand there for a few seconds, just staring at each other, Fernando's hands in his pants pockets and your hand on the door, an undeniable tension lingers between you two.
“Do you want to come in?” you suggest hesitantly, pointing inside, ready to face rejection.
“Uh yeah, can I?” he answers quickly, surprising you and catching you off guard. 
“Come on in.” you say, widening the door and stepping back, letting him inside. He makes his way towards the living room area of your massive hotel room and you follow him. Before you can sit down on the couch beside him, you notice the complimentary bottle of champagne in the ice bucket, now sitting in water that was ice a few hours ago. You go to the table and pull out the bottle from the bucket, wrapping it in a towel to prevent it from dripping.
“Quieres?” Do you want some? You offer him, showing him the bottle.
“Por favor” Please He stands up and heads towards you, taking the bottle from your hands to open it himself. You hold up the two glasses, also on the table, for him to pour into. After pouring, he sets the bottle down and you hand him his glass.
“Gracias” Thank you You both say at the same time, which causes you both to giggle.
“Let's go to the balcony” you suggest and head outside, he follows you but, not before grabbing the bottle to take with.
You lean on the rail, one forearm resting on it while your other arm brings the glass to your lips. Fernando places the bottle on the small table conveniently outside and then he goes to stand in front of you. He halfway cages you in again, one arm holding the rail close to your side, and you notice this protective pattern of his. Both of you stand there, not saying anything with words but instead through the looks you’re giving each other.
“You are very beautiful.” he blurts out, scanning your face with a pensive expression on his face.
You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion for a quick second before smiling and meeting his eyes.
“Thank you, you are very beautiful too.” you respond in honesty and nod your head when he looks at you confused. A shy smile breaks onto his face and he looks at the ground stepping away from you. 
He looks back up, licking his lips ever so slightly and takes the glass from your hand. He goes to place yours and his glass on the table while you stand there confused. He comes back to his original spot in front of you but this time way closer than before. His hand comes up to cup the side of your face and your eyes look deep into his as his thumb caresses your cheek. You go to say something but are cut off by his lips pressed against yours. You quickly catch on and move your lips with his. His hand comes off of your face and moves to your waist, you step away from the rail to try and get closer to him. He wraps both of his arms low around your waist and his fingers dance right above your bum. You instinctively bring your arms up to wrap around his neck and your fingers go to dance in his hair at the nape of his neck.
He smoothly turns you both around so now he is against the railing. Your makeout continues for a short minute until you realize something and your eyes open.
“I don’t kiss on the first date.” you say exasperated, pulling away and trying to catch your breath. He leans back trying to get a look at you, breathing heavily, eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
“But I’ll make an exception tonight.” you say quickly, he smiles before you lean in and desperately attack his lips again. He grabs your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist and walks inside towards the bed. He gently lays you down and stands back up separating your lips, he swiftly removes his shirt before hungrily coming back down on top of you.
The rest of the night goes as expected and contrary to your usual experience with men, he stays the night. You both sleep comfortably in each other's arms, not even wondering how it all led to this moment. Although you were both trying to figure out why this all felt so natural, you both knew one thing, this was the start of something special.
Taglist:
@minkyungseokie
@ursforever129
@thatchickwiththecamera
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malusokay · 1 year
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Little things to feel more girly
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Buy yourself some cute loungewear, so you feel pretty even when at home. <3
Have a light, signature scent that you can wear all the time!
Make a playlist of songs that make you feel confident, and play it in the background when doing things at home.
Genuine kindness and good thoughts will shine through your face, giving you a loving and welcoming aura.
Having fancy tea parties and overdressing with your friends for fun.
Try exercises that help improve your posture! Especially if you sit for many hours a day, try some yoga or pilates.
Have weekly self-care days, do extended skincare, face mask, take a long bubble bath, and do your hair.
Trim your hair regularly so it stays soft and silky. <3
Buy a big, fluffy scarf to keep you warm in winter!
Write letters to your friends and decorate them with hearts and doodles.
Dress to impress... Yourself!!
Buy clothes that make you feel pretty even if you're just going for a walk, to the grocery store or to sleep. You deserve to feel beautiful.
Make sure to eat balanced meals, so you glow from the inside. :)
Find a make-up routine that works for you and makes you feel beautiful. I'm really liking the heavy blush!!
Surround yourself with pretty things. Buy yourself some flowers, look for adorable decor, print out pictures you like and make your space comfy.
Find a proper morning/night routine that works for you! Little self-care rituals to make you feel better <3
Going for long dreamy walks to clear your head and reconnect with nature.
Look for pretty jewellery when going on trips or vacations, keep them as a reminder of your time there and collect truly meaningful pieces. <3
Find things you love doing in your free time instead of mindlessly scrolling online. Something engaging but also relaxing!
Cuddling up in a big fuzzy blanket, reading a book and listening to soft piano music.
Complement people if you notice something about them that you like, it might make their day!
Keep your lips and hands moisturized.
Don't speak badly of yourself.
Bake cute cookies and decorate them as a surprise for your friends and loved ones.
Say 'I love you' to the moon and stars before going to sleep. <3
As always, Please feel free to add more suggestions in the comments!
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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mermaidfanficlibrary · 5 months
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the SAGAU if only i could hold you through a screen was great :') would you accept doing a g/n one with the harbingers? if thats too many, maybe just childe and arlecchino if thats ok c:
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If only I could hold you through a screen | Harbinger addition!
Characters: Childe, Arlecchino, Dottore, Signora
Summary: Self Aware Harbingers watch you cry, not sure what to do or how to help. All of a sudden you drop the line "I wish you were here with me."
Warnings: Reader is crying, possessive behavior, immense anger, violent thoughts, death, genshin spoilers
A/U: Self aware genshin AU
A/n: Thank you so much anon!! I'm so glad you liked it! SO instead of doing all the harbingers I thought of doing the ones that I have been introduced too through the game! Yes I'm including Signora, so that will be during her battle in that one weekly domain gut wrenching 👍Also sorry if this is OOC
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CHILDE
You staring at Childe through the character screen was off-putting enough for him. But then with tears streaming down your face? That was when he became deeply concerned for you. There was this anger bubbling inside him, he wanted to take it out on those that made you cry. He wanted nothing more than to be there with you to comfort you. 
He started to do his idle where his bow shows up, resisting the urge to shoot something around him. You were hyperventilating, the tears overwhelming your eyes. He hated seeing you like this, he wanted to see your smile again. Your broken voice hit his ears as he put his bow away. He stared at you as you muttered to yourself.
“I wish you were with me…”
Your words shattered his heart. He didn’t think that you, an all mighty being, could be so vulnerable. And that fact you were so vulnerable in front of him, call him selfish, but he felt so happy that he was the person you could feel like this with. He just watched you cry, plotting the downfall of those that had harmed you. No one would get away with hurting a god such as yourself. 
He calmed down as he saw you drift off to sleep. His eyes were dark with rage, as his gaze from your sleeping figure didn’t break. Your screen dimmed due to inactivity, and his body was stiff. There was only one thing in his mind. And that thought passed through his lips as you could slightly hear him in your sleep.
“Dry your tears, you will have a wonderful place here in the Fatui. You will be protected within the Tsaritsa’s care and mine too.”
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LA SIGNORA
You were crying as you had the pause menu open. You thought you could handle this fight against Signoria again. You never liked killing her over and over again, it was too much to your already aching head and heart. She realized you had stopped fighting her, and she saw your crying state. Signoria wanted to go easy on you, hoping you’d just finish this already. She didn’t like fighting you, much like how you didn’t like fighting her.
She felt so upset that someone could have this power over you. Signoria couldn’t even think that you, an all mighty being, could be so vulnerable. She then felt the battle continue, figuring that you decided to push through your sadness. She admired you for the way you would push though. Then the words you screamed out as you continued the fight with her hurt her so much.
“I wish you were with me!
Her anger couldn’t be contained as flames came out of her dress. It was a lot more intense as you tried to beat her. She let you win, however, with one of your best times in her domain. She just hoped it would have made you feel a little better. She saw you exit, feeling so bad as she wished you stayed. She longed for you, and she watched you as you stood outside her domain. 
And after you fell asleep, standing outside the domain, AFK she could still see you. She could see your sleeping, tear stained face. It hurt her knowing that not only fighting her made you so sad, but someone outside their world made you sad. She brought a hand up to the window as she just stared at the carrier of your actions. She muttered out to herself, hoping you heard her in your resting state.
“Even in death, I will try my best to protect you, all mighty creator…”
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DOTTORE
You had been attached to Dottore ever since he was shown in the manga. He could feel your attachment even before the game released, even before his story in the game was shown. He admired you so much, and he hated that he had to turn everyone in Sumeru against you. His cutscene played, but he was intrigued when he saw you crying. He started to think that you were so hurt by his plot, by how the whole story quest was going.
He wasn’t far away after that cut scene. He stayed around, wanting to make sure you were okay. But he could only hear your sobbing, and he got closer, wanting to comfort you. The more you cried, the more he wanted to see you. The more he wanted you to see him and his comforting gaze, and it hurt him when you stuttered out of your tears. 
“I w-wish y-you w-were with m-m-me.”
He found your stuttering crying voice cute, but he wanted to help you so bad. Dottore couldn’t bring himself to accept the fact that someone could make you cry. It hurt him when you said that you needed him when he wasn’t there. He wanted so bad to be with you, to comfort you. His mind went to crazy places.
He noticed you were falling asleep, letting the dialogue pause to let you sleep peacefully. He felt honored to see a god like you, fall asleep and be peaceful. He wanted to kill those that made you sad, made you cry like this. His mind was plotting as the screen dimmed. He muttered to himself, not wanting the others around to notice he was there.
“I will do anything to those that make you cry, wire their brains to worship you like the god you are.”
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ARLECCHINO
You were so excited to finally see Arlecchino after the trailers and leaks from the community. But you felt so upset during the quest, you couldn’t handle not crying. As you were listening to her dialogue, you were sobbing. Arlecchino’s ears perked up as she heard your sad sobs. It shocked her that you, the all seeing being, could be this vulnerable.
She became more concerned the longer you stayed on her dialogue screen. She had just met you, but she had heard of you through word of mouth, since you were a popular deity that was worshiped all over Teyvat. But seeing you like this for the first time was new. You had trusted her enough, after one interaction, to cry in front of her. Then your soft sad voice spoke up and she was stunned.
“I wish you were with me.”
Her eyes widened when she heard your soft and sad voice say that. She wanted you with her, too, to be worshiped like the god you are. She had always fantasized of all the children of the House of the Hearth meeting you, as they all admired you. She set up a room for you, and she wanted you there more than ever. But there was this rage that someone did this to you, made you this sad.
She sighed as it seemed she would be stuck in this dialogue for a little bit as you fell asleep. She was content, though, seeing you now calm from your previous crying fit. She broke out of her pose to bring her hand to her chin, as she thought to herself. Her gaze was soft as she stared at your sleeping face. She broke the code once more as she spoke off the script.
“I wish I were with you, to wipe away your tears. Once you come here, you will be worshiped by all in the House of the Hearth.”
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lovebugism · 1 year
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✶ ┄ FIX IT !
summary: you thought you were over it, the whole steve-and-nancy thing. spoiler alert: you aren't. pairing: steve harrington / f!reader word count: 3.5k warning: angst. gut wrenching angst. with a sort of happy ending. a/n: i'm such a sucker for angst it's gotta be unhealthy at this point. anyway, shout out to all my angsty fic enjoyers. let's read this and cry together <3
Having four roommates and only two bathrooms was worth it if it meant getting out of Hawkins. The apartment was a quaint little thing just outside of Indianapolis — up four flights of stairs with no elevator, cracks in the walls, and a stellar view of an alleyway.
But it was nice to have a place all your own. Sharing it with all your best friends was even better. That was the dream after all, wasn’t it? And being with Steve — that was just the cherry on top of it all.
So you weren’t going to let your mean, green, and envious heart ruin the new life you and your friends were trying to build in this tiny apartment.
You didn’t even think yourself the jealous type. Not until you realized that Steve was going to live under the same roof as his ex-girlfriend. It was dumb and it was irrational and you just couldn’t shake it.
It was probably a whole lot harder for Steve than it was for you, really. Besides, it had been years since they were together. Both of them had moved on, both of them had new and blossoming relationships.
Jonathan was good to Nancy. And to you, Steve was… well he was perfect. More importantly, he was yours. 
So it really shouldn’t bother you.
And it didn’t. Not for a while. 
Not until Nancy and Jonathan broke up out of nowhere and he’d announced to all of you on movie night that he was moving out.
He said that he missed California too much, that Argyle was getting lonely all the way out there, and that he had a spare room at his place. You couldn’t tell if that was the truth or just some bullshit excuse.
Maybe both.
What made it worse is that Nancy hadn’t seemed all that upset about it. Hell, you were more sad about him leaving than she was.
She told you as much during your weekly designated wine night (the one where you and her and Robin got drunk on cheap wine, while the rest of the boys fucked off and got drunker on cheaper beer).
“It didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would,” she’d confessed with a shrug, only slightly tipsy and cheeks pink with it. “We… drifted apart, I guess. Just felt right to end it.”
You and Robin spent the rest of the night comforting her, anyway.
She loved Jonathan, everyone knew that. It sort of came with the whole shared trauma thing. She had to be at least a little bit sad that her person was gone, but she hid it away from the rest of you like it was her job.
But when the days got really bad, and she found herself missing Jonathan more than she liked, she sought refuge in Steve. Your Steve. 
And it made sense. He knew her better than the rest of you.
But it didn’t mean it hurt any less.
A sick feeling twists in your stomach when Steve accompanies the girl on a liquor store run without her having to ask. You watch with your heart in your throat when he leaves with her in the dead of night — a swirling bubble of jealousy in the pit of your chest with an ache so palpable you can taste it.
You spend the next several minutes trying not to look as sad as you feel while Eddie can’t stop debating on what the two of them might be talking about.
Nancy had been more reserved as of late, carrying a rain cloud over her as she wandered through the apartment like a ghost — he concludes they’re just going out to spill some hot goss. Robin makes him promise to never say those string of words ever again while you quietly dismiss yourself to your bedroom.
Nancy and Steve have been gone for an hour.
Lying in the dark and staring up at the textured, water-stained ceiling, you start to do the math. Fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back with traffic — but the streets are usually bare after nine o’clock. Either way, that leaves a half hour spent trying to choose what alcohol to splurge on.
You’ve seen Nancy try to pick out wine, she’s indecisive and a perfectionist to boot. She could spend hours dissecting each bottle to find the perfect one, if Robin wasn’t constantly over her shoulder rushing her.
Maybe that’s why Nancy had declined when the girl offered to tag along with them.
Or maybe she just wanted to be alone with Steve—
You have to physically shake that thought from your head. But even when you shut your eyes, it’s like the image of him and Nancy making out in the back of her Station Wagon is ingrained in the depths of your mind.
You curl into yourself and bathe in the depths of the dark abyss you’ve created in your bedroom, trying to see your way out of your handcrafted turmoil like a bad cold.
When Nancy and Steve return, they come cradling paper bags in their arms like babies.
Robin relieves the latter of the load in his hands and follows the darker-haired girl into the kitchen connected to the living room, no larger than a decent-sized closet.
Steve notices the lack of your presence as soon as he walks through the door. When he’d left, the three of you were pregaming — a feat that often led to Eddie breaking out his guitar and you and him singing terribly off-key to whatever was playing on the radio.
Now you’re nowhere to be found, and he feels it like a missed meal. He feels the ache of your absence like an empty stomach.
“Where’d she go?” Steve asks Eddie, who’s lounging on the couch and taking up the entire space — legs spread and arms thrown over the back.
The curly-haired boy takes a noisy sip of his nearly gone beer. Then exhales rather dramatically when he sits the can on his thigh. It leaves a damp ring on the denim. “Hey, buddy... Just blow in from stupid town?”
“…What?”
Eddie rolls his eyes, already annoyed and knowing more than he lets on. “She’s in her room, dingus.”
“She okay?” Steve wonders with furrowed brows, uncaring of the use of the stupid nickname because there’s bigger things to worry about apparently.
It wasn’t like you to miss a night of drinking. He gets momentarily fearful that you’d gotten sick while he was away, that he wasn’t around to help you if you had.
“Why don’t you ask her?” Eddie lilts with wide eyes, like it’s a bright idea that neither of them would’ve thought of otherwise.
His sarcasm makes Steve roll his eyes, but he heeds the boy’s words anyway.
Through the short hallway and the last door on the right, he finds you in the darkness of your shared bedroom, illuminated only by the orange streetlight that filters through the blinds. You're hid beneath the covers, a little lump on the mattress. 
He idles in the doorway and waits for you to react to his presence.
You don’t.
“Hey, babe,” he greets cautiously after concluding you just hadn’t heard the door squeak open upon his arrival. “You feel okay?”
You mumble something he can’t quite make out. He takes the raised infliction as an affirmative and shifts his weight on his feet because it’s unlike you to be so one-note with him.
“Well, I, uh— I bought some of that wine you like... I couldn’t remember if you liked the blackberry or blueberry, so I ended up just getting both, you know, just in case.”
“Okay,” you respond after several agonizing seconds. Your voice sounds so fragile in the still darkness. Like he didn’t already know something was wrong.
He so desperately wants to pry but chooses to err on the side of caution for now, out of fear of turning the bad, worse.
“You wanna come down and try it with me? If you don’t like it we can always go back—”
“I’m okay,” you interrupt gently, with a tone so soft and coated with so much emotion that it makes his heart sink. You’re anything but and he knows it.
“Okay,” he nods anyway with the hope that he can pull you from this funk you’d managed to fall into. “Do you, uh… Do you want me to stay in here with you?”
He hears your deep sigh and sees the way the wad of blankets rises and falls again. A telltale sign of your annoyance. He knows then that he’s overstayed his welcome.
Your voice remains quiet but loses its kindness when you tell him: “You can do whatever you want, Steve.”
He’s hurt by the way you’re so suddenly short with him, then angered because he didn’t do anything to deserve it in the first place.
“Okay, what’s wrong with you? What did I do?”
You don’t answer. You just sigh again, the same really big, dramatic one that’s more to showcase your irritation with him than anything else.
You’re more than keen to end the conversation right there, but Steve isn’t. Not when something’s eating you away from the inside out and he can’t do anything to help you because you won’t let him. 
“Babe, c’mon. I get it, alright? You’re mad at me. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”
“You can’t fix it,” you monotone, stifled beneath the covers.
“I can’t fix it?” he repeats with furrowed brows. “What do you mean, I can’t fix it?”
You use your silence as an answer, as a weapon. It’s almost worse than any silver-tongued reply you could've given him. The quiet forces him to think for himself and imagine all the things he could’ve done wrong that he can’t take back. It feels like quicksand.
Did he forgot to kiss you good morning? Of course, he didn’t — actually, he gets mad at you for forgetting — and you were golden before he left. Eddie probably said something stupid, that was likely. Or maybe Robin made a joke that upset you, that was even more likely. 
He figures it’s something in between all those. Something silly that feels like the end of the world. He can make it better. He always makes it better.
Steve lifts the lump of covers you shield yourself with and crawls beneath them with the intention of pulling you out of the void you’ve sunken into.
It’s not so comfortable, lying in bed in socks and jeans and a collared shirt, but he doesn’t need to feel good right now — you do. He’ll be content if he can just hold you in his arms for a couple of hours, the rest of the night if that’s what you need.
But he can’t even do that.
He reaches for your arm, fingers just barely trailing across the warm skin there, and you jerk away from him like he’s shocked you.
It startles him, how quick you are to avoid him. It has him jerking back too, because you’ve never denied him the opportunity to touch you. He becomes the same sort of storm cloud that you are now, because he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this. Any of it.
“Why are you doing this?” he asks you, less soft than he’d been before.
You sniffle. “I told you I didn’t want you going out alone with Nancy anymore,” you mumble, face still shoved into your pillow. The words are slightly muffled but he can hear the tears that coat your voice. 
“That’s what this is about?” he wonders, not as empathetic as you’d hoped he might be, but genuinely confused. With your back to him, you don’t see the smile pulling at his lips while he shakes his head, like it’s funny to him. “Babe, we were just getting drinks. It’s no different than you going out with Robin.”
“It’s totally different! Because I was never in love with Robin. She was never in love with me—”
“Well, I beg to differ,” he murmurs in a soft laugh.
“It’s not funny, Steve,” you retort wetly and then sniffle again. When you turn to face him, he sees for the first time what he’s done to you.
The orange of the streetlight lamp outside bathes you in a sunset shade of neon — your eyes are glassy with tears that gather at your lashes. Emotions glow at the tip of your nose and your cheeks. Your skin would be hot to the touch if he felt you now.
“Do you know how weird it is for me? To watch my boyfriend and his ex go fuck around with me?” you ask him with a scrunched nose and brows, like your trying to keep yourself from falling apart in front of him.
“It’s not like that and you know it,” Steve scolds. “She just wanted to get alcohol for tonight and had some shit to get off her chest. I mean, she’s been having a really hard time lately—”
“It’s not your job to take care of her, Steve!” you shout before you even realize you’re shouting. You take in a shuddered breath and let it out in a trembling sigh, shining eyes flitted away from him and towards the ceiling as you calm yourself down.
When you start your lament again, you’re quieter.
“You can’t just be this, like, emotional crutch for her every single time something’s wrong. She’ll just get invested in you all over again and…”
Steve watches from beside you, propped up on his elbow, as you trail off. The frown between your eyebrows deepens, a great and inquisitive crevice, while your eyes widen and your mouth falls softly agape — like you’ve discovered something in the midst of your rant.
“Is— Is that what you want?” you ask him then. “Do you, like, need her attention to feed your ego or something?”
He’s too offended by your words to tell you all the ways they aren’t true. “What? No! Why would you say that?”
“Because it’s embarrassing, Steve.”
“What is?”
“Watching you and her together!” you admit through a tightening throat. You rise from where you’d been laying down and Steve follows you, settling in front of you as you wrap your arms around your knees. “When I have to sit here, by myself, while you guys spend time alone. When she always knows what you’re up to, and I don’t—”
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes quietly, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“—It’s not fair. She’s not your girlfriend, Steve, I am. It’s your job to take care of me, not her.”
Steve deflates like a popped balloon. His chin falls to his chest and his eyes squeeze shut at the weight of your words.
It’s like you’re reminding him that he’s supposed to be in love with you and not someone he cared for a long time ago. Like you felt the need to remind him because you thought he’d forgotten somewhere down the line.
It hurts him too. It feels like you’ve got his heart in your hands and you're wringing it in your grip.
“You’re right,” Steve concedes with a nod. “I just... I guess, I never thought about it like that.”
He feels the same way, too, sometimes. When you and Eddie go all buddy-buddy mode and want to spend time together.
When you’re out all night with him at band practice. When you’re attached at the hip and having sleepovers in his room to talk about everything and nothing for hours until you fall asleep when the sun rises. When you both come down at one in the afternoon the next day for breakfast, giggling about the thing you said the night before.
It makes him feel like he’s missing out. Like you’re sharing parts of yourself with someone else and he isn’t allowed to see it.
And sometimes he gets irrational — keeps himself up all night as he imagines you and Eddie making out on his floor after going through all his new tapes or fucking in his unmade bed while he keeps a hand on your mouth to keep you quiet.
Steve concocts waking nightmares for himself whenever you’re not beside him.
But even then, it’s different. Because he used to do all that shit with Nancy. They fell in love, made out for hours because they didn’t want to stop feeling each other, had sex on a twin-sized bed and tried to keep from falling out of it while they did.
You’d never done that shit with Eddie — or with anyone you’re now sharing a home with. Besides Steve.
Because he’s yours now. And you’re his.
But you can’t stop thinking about how he used to be Nancy’s too.
“I don’t need you to tell me that I’m right,” you murmur with the childlike shake of your head, slow and lazy, as you wipe your wet cheek on your shoulder. “I need you to do something about it— I needed you to do something about it a long time ago.”
“I will, okay? I will. I promise. I’ll fix it,” Steve assures you quickly, with wide and hopeful eyes and a nodding head that makes his hair flop against his forehead.
He can see you losing hope in front of him, like a flame going slowly out. You’re slipping away. He keeps fighting to keep a hold of you.
“No.”
“…No?”
“You can’t,” you sniffle. “You can’t fix it.”
“Baby—”
“It’s not fair. To either of us,” you tell him, looking at him through clumped together lashes and heavy, sparkling eyes. “And it’s not your fault, okay? But I can’t keep feeling this like. It’s not healthy— this isn’t… this is what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. It shouldn’t feel like this.”
Steve blinks back stinging tears. He brings his hand to his face and rubs the back of it against his burning nose. He feels a bit like you do now, hopeless. You’re slipping away and he is too and you both just keep on slipping, just going going going.
“You’re not even—” he clears his throat when his voice breaks halfway through. “You’re not even gonna let me try?”
You shrug weakly. Tears burn as they gather at your waterline. You revel in the sting because it’s better than the hole ripping through your chest.
“I don’t know. I think… I think it’s too late.”
“Why would you say that?” Steve agonizes with the shake of his head, looking like a wounded puppy as he gaze at you with brown eyes full of hurt. “Don’t say that. Don’t.”
“Steve—”
“No,” he interjects firmly, stopping the spiral before it can start again.
He positions himself so he’s sitting further ahead of you and holds your arms in his numbing hands, ducking down to catch your gaze when you try to look away from him.
“I love you, okay? I’m an idiot and I’m sorry and I'm stupid, alright? I wasn’t thinking. But we can’t just… It’s not too late. I can fix this. I promise I can fix this.”
Your chest aches at his plea, at the way he still doesn’t understand.
It’s not his fault you feel this way, not entirely. It’s not anyone’s fault and that’s what’s so scary. There’s no one to blame the pain on, no root to cut out and put an end to it. You’re frightened that it’s always going to be there, constantly in the way, forbidding either of you from ever moving on.
“Steve...” you murmur through tears while the boy gathers you in his arms. You try to stop him but your voice gets caught in your throat halfway through. Because you don’t want him to stop. Not ever.
He nurses you into his velvet hold, wrapping a pair of strong arms around you to cage you against him. He presses his nose into your temple while he rocks you back and forth. “I promise. Everything’s okay. I’ll fix it.”
He repeats that like a mantra while you keep your head pressed against his chest — everything’s gonna be okay, I can fix it, I love you.
It’s a promise. One that he’d rather die than break. 
You stay there, curled against his chest, while dark feelings ebb and flow in a constant and bitter cycle.
You hope he’s right. That these big feelings are just big stupid feelings that'll pass come the pink and blue sunrise. That everything really is going to be okay and that he really can fix it. 
Because even now, all hopeless and full of doom and gloom, you feel soothed in his hold. You’ve never felt safer anywhere else. You’ve built a home in the peace of Steve’s arms and you want to keep on living in them.
“I’m gonna make it better,” he whispers against the crown of your head. If you’ll let me.
He feels you nod lazily against him. “Okay.”
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