The experience of childhood also affects the choice of a partner. We tend to look for satellites similar to our parents. This is partly due to familiarity and recognition. Another reason is that we project images of our parents onto our partners.

For example, a child who felt a lack of care and attention from his parents often chooses partners who are cold and withdrawn, although there may be many warm and caring potential parents around.

We want our emotional needs to be met, but in the end we choose someone who is not ready to give us the attention we want, just like our parents. We have an unconscious desire to change our partner so he loves us the way we want and we can finally fulfill the unmet needs and fantasies of our inner child. As children, we often dreamed how our indifferent parents would finally pay attention to us. Growing up, we project this desire onto our partners.

Okay a "small" rant

I've been a bit under the weather, mentally, physically drained and lacking on self care

And it could be because of my current situation but

God, I am dismissive...

I mean I'm really indifferent...

Me working out any sort of relationship, compromising, is just me defaulting to,

"What do you want?" OR "It doesn't matter to me..."

And I think when I say the second, it's likely me in all saying, "I don't care." And it's in a... selfish way I guess?

I had this indifference problem regarding jobs, and it's not as bad now (imo) but I still struggle with going for what I want. Right now though I'm having motivation troubles.

NOW

When it comes to interacting with people, I am disgustingly cold, especially to those I once talked to.

It's moments like these, these blaring critical moments in my life that makes me reflect on what I want, and sometimes I really do think,

"Hey, I'd be fine by myself with just a cat by my side..."

Even if that's not what I really really want...

I'm still trying to figure out how to get over these childhood mechanisms, but they're pretty bad. I'm willing to change and make an effort but I'm not sure how to go about it without hurting others and/or pretending like I care.

And you know, based off my attachment I'm just now realizing,

When was the last time I admired someone??

When was the last time I admired someone and wanted to be like them or reach their level of achievement????

As someone who'd rather do it all by myself and struggle rather than work with others and have an easier time, this obviously won't be an easy task...

But... maybe this is a start

These are the troubles in my life tsk tsk tsk

PAC - WHY SHOULD YOU FOCUS ON YOURSELF INSTEAD OF YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE RIGHT NOW ?

Just meditate and ask your guides/higher power to provide you insight.

Allow me to tap into your energy. 🧿

My readings are always honest and I don't sugarcoat things, pls read at your own risk. And try to have an open mind. 🙏🧿💕

Pile 1

Cards - 7 of wands, 6 of pentacles, 8 of wands

Are you in a hurry to meet them? Your future spouse? You are rushing things and trying to get ahead of your circumstances or the present reality. You know what pile 1? You still have a lot of parts unhealed of your soul. And this is not allowing you to fly freely as you should. You may feel like your fears are greater than you, but trust me they are not. You have all the power over your fears!

In the hurry of meeting them, you are forgetting your own self. You need to love yourself first before loving someone else. You should give yourself more time to think and process things. You should try to ground yourself in the present. Try to do root chakra and sacral chakra healing. Your fears have created some energy blocks which aren't helping you at all.

Don't worry, your desire of wanting to meet the one for you is being addressed by the universe. You will get what you want. But you need to heal yourself first. Clear your karma and self doubts.

Pile 2

Cards - 10 of pentacles, 7 of cups, 4 of pentacles

Pile 2 my loves, are going through a spiritual transformation or awakening right now. You can't miss any steps in the journey right? Please focus on healing yourself more.

Okay, so I can see that you are trying to manifest love and abundance in your life or you are just dreaming and visualizing about it. Let me tell you this one thing, that it definitely is working in your favour but you also need to break the walls of protection that surround you. You are scared to go outside and meet new people. Dear, please understand that you need to get out of your dreams and delusions and actually step out of your comfort zone to meet your future spouse.

Your future spouse on the other hand are too trying to heal their inner child wounds. They are saying that you need to get stable in life. You lack grounded energy and are underconfident about a lot of things. Please try to let go of any insecurities that surround you. Because they are hampering your growth, pile 2.

Pile 3

Cards : Temperance, 7 of wands, 5 of cups

Do you have this tendency to get depressed whenever you don't get any messages from the pick a card readings of? Don't be dependent for love on anyone, not even your future spouse. Love them, but stay away from unhealthy attachments. The reason of their no communication is because they are busy. They are working hard in their career right now. And you too should now focus on your career and goals.

Everything is well when taken in moderation. Balance love and career both logically and like a healthy human being please. You also have this tendency to run away from problems or sadness and indulge yourself in overworking don't do that.

Some of you could be in same sex relationships and you are thinking that things won't work out. Well, things would work out if you make them work out. Try to take bold decisions and stand for that decision.

Don't look back at the past, this is the final step to meet your fs. Just keep going.

Pile 4

Cards : Strength, 9 of cups, 4 of swords

You lack compassion for your own self. You are someone who gives everything to others but feels bad for giving it to yourself. You may connect well with plants and animals or just nature in general. Try to work on your self worth and don't critisize yourself too much.

You have many things to deal with right now. You have many parts unhealed. Try to relax and rejuvenate more physically as well as mentally and spiritually. It'll be good for your overall well being. Try to play with pets or just stroll in nature for sometime to refresh your mind.

You feel like there's so much competition somehow (?) And try to give yourself small rewards for accomplishing tasks. Try to celebrate your small successes please. You need to celebrate yourself more in order to attract the right partner for yourself.

You need to be in the energy of self love and good self worth to attract good partners who emit the same frequency. Do you understand? Lots of love to you.

PAC: How would a tarot reader describe you to your future spouse and their thoughts

collab w @daninixx

1 2

3 4

. . .

♡ Group 1 ♡

By @ariesluvz

# How would a reader describe you to them?

This person might like hip hop (😂). This person might actually have alot of worries and they might stay up all night thinking about their worries. Their work might take up all their energy and focus. This person is like a chameleon, despite of their condition they are able to work with people and match their energy very well. They are giving me strong business person aura. They have a huge sense of responsibilities. They might had to take care of their own responsibilities as well as others at a very young age that made them very strict towards themselves. Your person also has an artist side to them which they express very well. They might like art by itself. But they are more attracted to different color variations. Yes your person love to portray their mood through different colors. They might do that by playing with their fashion, dying their hair often. They might have colored their hair in a bizarre color. I see neon/pastel pink, mint etc. They might wear beige suits with their crazy hair. Might have beautiful tattoos or piercings. They are very chic and elegant and has a great sense of fashion. Their art might be their fashion. I think your person has a purple aura or surrounds themselves with purple colours. Especially purple neon light. I really think that this person likes bright, saturated and neon colors. Not like they don't like pastels. Y'all know those people who look dangerous by their looks but actually are the most warm hearted people you'll ever meet, your person is like the same. They might love to party. This doesn't mean that they are playboy/girl, spoiled. I think they stay alot of time or spend nights partying outside cuz they are very lonely. They also need warmth and people around them who radiate good energy. If not partying exactly then, they like to keep themselves busy and surrounded by many people. I think they might be very lonely for a long time but still are trying to get use to it. I find a little child in them. Possibly unhealed childhood trauma/inner child. They might be very fond of their friends trying to find warm in them. This may sometimes lead them towards wrong people and heart breaks. This person is like a fragile flower. They tend to fall for people who show just a little bit kindness towards them, maybe cuz they never had that. They never forget even the tiniest kind gesture ever done towards them. They rely on their good memories. They easily forget about the bad things they go through. Awwww group 1, I really love this person as if I wanna protect them and say words of love and appreciation to them. They are very afraid of doing any kind of mistakes. I think thing them doing mistakes is like doing any sin. They put themselves on a pedestal group 1. But nonetheless your person is a very strong and kind soul. They are not afraid to be bold but also vulnerable when needed. I really appreciate and like them.

# Their thoughts?

They will of you as their king/queen. They will be mesmerised by your amazing and so unique personality. They would want to tell you that you are so strong and that you are not alone cuz you got them. They would think of you as a very strong person. Also very fancy, they will think that you have a chic and rich personality. They might feel inferior to you honestly. They will be motivated to do well to match your level. They will kinda fall in love with you at that moment itself lol. They would be at peace knowing about you but also would be very eager to meet you. Their heart would be beating fast af. They will literally on the spot decide to give you alot of love. Does anyone trust 'red string of fate' theme? They honestly kinda do. For them it's like you are their destined fate. They would not really be in the mindset of actually believing it but will end up fantasising about you and your existence. It will all fascinate them alot. Predicting future might be very normal or like popular where they live but they will not be someone who was ever interested or believed. I am also thinking that their friends will be the one who will take them to the reader as an activity. So everything described about you will change their thoughts on/about you. They will be happy to get to know you.

. . .

♡ Group 2 ♡

By @daninixx

# How would a reader describe you to your fs?

This is someone who is flirt and knows how to have fun, your person isn't overly dependent, someone who is passionate about their goals and dreams in order to take achieve them, and will be comfortable about you because they know you are not boring, not too demanding, funny and put a smile on their face even on the worst of days. Someone who is determine to achieve their goals to have a better future for themselves, so maybe they're still studying (student). They can also be an attention seeker, someone who always imagine or day dreaming to be admired by others like i'm getting here that's this person wanted to be singer sort of, someone who talks shit behind their friends(if they have) or someone who likes to make-up stories so they will be admired by others. Someone who likes texts, phone calls and emails — i see that they might like to use discord or snapchat. Your person might have this motto " Do things you've never done before", someone who is making impossible become possible, this person likes adventure or travelling, they might plan or like this idea for their future purposes. Someone who interest of being an extrovert , someone who is elegant, rational, and intelligent. Your person is someone who are attracted to the charm of the enchanting mind. Your person is someone who is calm and has a serious personality, alongside with a unique perception and knowledge of the world, is accentuated by a powerful voice. Someone who will be professional in the field they have or they will going to take, your person will be well educated, so this will finish their bachelor, masteral or degress. Someone who have a good reputation on school or work, but if not this person can be cold and aloof. So yk this person will just be a normal type of student along with no bad records in school, if they're student or when they're still student before. Lol, someone being polite in public, but can be rude to people they know. There's is truly burdened in this person life that doesn't necessary needed, someone who doesn't what to look of what's going on around them, so this person will think that the time for them is running out very fast and quickly. It's like they think this person think they can't keep up with this, even though they really do. No way, you will be happy because this person is on their own phase of growth and healing seems like they're dealing from anxiety or fears from a very long time, this person will gonna start believing about what they can do, about themselves and will trying to move forward for the betterment. So whatever negativity is forcing them to don't do these things they really love since they're afraid of change before, this person will gonna change it and been starting facing them, negative energies will slowly fading away on their side and this person will discover the positive side of things. This person might be water signs on their moon to their chart a high tendency that it will be a pisces moon. Your person qualities, you will find them very attractive since at a very first place or beginning. But honestly, you won't be attracted to this person physical appearance, you will find this person interest of beliefs are way more into unique that somehow can influence you, someone who meets the eye with them also might be somewhat has mysterious aura. This person can also have a psychic powers or just have a hidden talents, this person likes to making plans that will be good for you rather than what suits to people, they will know the answer and the right thing to do with it. I see, you will see this person as lucky charm that will bring positive change in your life. Also, if you will be friend with this person i can't deny that in your relationship there's a lot of ups and downs.

# Their thoughts?

So, this person will think that can they already find the right one that makes them feel calm, someone who will not judge them as a person and can be someone to cry on or lend on to. That they're already reach the peace since they're feel a very strong connection with you, they love your qualities even the negative ones. They will be like "two people can blend together in harmonious way" or someone that have a long lasting love. They love how you view life and they will think that it's quite interesting since they never encounter such someone like you, your person will be having a good feelings for you perhaps that this person doesn't like drama or big displays of connection, but they will think you are out of their league seems they doubts about themselves. They will also feel very inesecure about themselves, they will have this deep and hidden insecurity. Someone who wishes to take care of you after hearing those messages that you'd been through a very tough phase, they wanted to be a provider for you, that kind of someone will look after you. They wanted to see you and love you immediately but they are still not yet ready to face you because of their strong insecurities, they will trying to heal and face these fears before connecting with you.

. . .

♡ Group 3 ♡

# How would a reader describe you to them?

Very charming. They are very classy. Tsundere kind of personality. They were born in a strict household which made their life very much planned or schedule oriented. They might also have OCD. They get anxious and frustrated if something messes up their schedule or work. Pretentious is also something that I'm getting. Not sure if they enjoy their life. They are very much careful about how they portray themselves and their social image. People might not describe them as the most warm hearted person. They might know that and try to maintain a personality that scares away(?) people. They don't show the emotions of love. They show more frustration or determination. They prioritise their job first. They are very much driven by logic. They are not the type of person to get "fixed" I'm sorry if that's like something you are imagining. There's nothing you can do to fix a person. You are just an addiction to their life but don't expect their life to completely shift of change once you meet them. But nonetheless they are very charming. They leave a strong impression on everyone they meet. You will be charmed by them as well. They have an enchanting presence. They definitely have fire dominating their charts. Their aura might be red or lucky color or something. For a woman I see red lipstick might be their favourite. For a man I don't see a colour but their facial structure is very strong or like prominent. High cheekbones, sharp jawline, prominent nose for some it's straight and for some it's a Romanian nose I think. They have an advantage in their looks/appearance which they manage very well. They remind be of those very masculine guys in Taylor Swift's songs. If woman, then probably taller bone structure lean and slim. They have ectomorph body structure. They are success oriented. I think they take everything as a deal which should be profitable for them in some way. They crave stability. They give very stereotypical Capricorn vibes. If they have a childhood trauma that might be around their home life. They might have felt very different and has now embraced the theme very well that they feel unsafe or vulnerable or weak to not be different from others. They see that being different is a powerful thing. They want people to respect them and to have a certain position in the society. These things are their moral values. You can call them selfish and I won't correct you on that. Everyone is selfish but they are very openly selfish. They are living their best life to be honest. They are very hardworking in whichever field they are in and probably one of the best in their field. And they live their life very unapologetically. They respect their parents alot. They are sensitive about their family and personal life which they prefer to keep very hidden or secret because that is only one thing they are emotionally attached to. They try their best to keep their family safe.

# Their thoughts?

Ok so you might be very different from them. Like your vibe, aura or aesthetic might be different from them. You just have a different pov on life in general and take things differently than them. They are mesmerized by this trait of yours. If makes you mysterious to them even if you don't think you are the mysterious type of person. They kinda feel very calm and happy and delighted whenever they see you or think about you. Because you are different from the environment they usually are in l, they take a lot of interest in knowing you and love the time you spend together. They take a lot of pride in you for some reason. Like when they will know about you through a 3rd party they will be like "yeah that's my girl/man". You are very beautiful in their eyes and maybe that's why they are so proud of the fact that you are their person. I get yin and yang energy. I feel like that's exactly what they are searching for as well. They want their partner to be like their other half, a part of them. This kind of thought makes them happy and satisfied. I already told you that they give me 90s vibes. So they are also very traditional and they do follow certain believes and think that some things are better in traditional way. Ok I see a red lehenga, it's an Indian attire that brides usually wear for their wedding so yeah they definitely picture you guys' wedding together lol.

. . .

♡ Group 4 ♡

By @daninixx

# How would a reader describe you to them?

Pile 4, this is a secret i accidentally pulled one more card for you so maybe my guides wanted you to have more messages. So to start this person is someone who can be a bully or the trouble is always on their side even though they don't do nothing wrong. Someone who will see your dark side and will try to get ride of it away from you, someone that is type of person "winning at all cost!", someone who have an internal conflict and inner anger but this person will fear to openly or express them of how they feel definitely this person has anxiety or depression. This person is someone who is doesn't have a filter and say what they wanted to say in his or her mind. If this person wanted to settle in a relationship they want it to be passionate, somehow this person is not yet ready for any commitments as of now seems like this person is just like the idea of being in love but don't want to be in a relationship as of now because their fantasies to "happily ever after" and healthy and fullfilling relationship, they afraid that they might end up to a wrong person and toxic one. This person is bubbly, upbeat and wholesome, woah another card confirm that this person is really "dreamy" and "airy-fairy" might be a little kook too. This person might dress like a tomboy, may have a high levels of stress. Someone who is very faithful so they tend to be trustworthy and family-oriented, the communication with will be easy for each other. The relationship with them will be friends to lovers, someone who is physically attractive and always taking care of how they look or presenting themselves. This person is probably still studying and still the progress of towards their goals, someone who is practical and following rules. Someone you can consider as charming, gentle, and sensitive, as well as fearsome and powerful. In short, this person is ✨awesome✨. They might appear to have a solid strategy and know where they going; however, this person may appear arrogant and opinionated at times. This person might be afraid to show their real thoughts however they're fearless when it comes achieving success and victory, someone who will use their will power to achieve their goals, they might own a vehicle most likey a car or a motorbike. Someone who will looking or finding their own interest and what they really wanted to be in life. They need to get out in their comfort zone since i see here they really love home or to stay at home ; if they do nothing, nothing will be moving too or everything will out of their control because success is already waiting for them they just need to claim it, and if would failed to do that they will be dissapointed for the chances. This is someone who is kind and understanding, this person is talented and creative but somehow there is something stopping them to show them off, they're overthinker. Someone they love might loss to them, it's female figure can also be grandparents or this also indicates of end of their struggles will going to come. You might meet this person through social media, i'm not really sure if this person has a family member that working to government or an authority figure seems like this person is just died recently.

# Their thoughts?

So they will feel confident about you, they will be more fallen in love with you right now, you will be someone whom capable to enjoys their company. They will also think that this connection needs more understanding before jumping or trusting their guts, so they ask you to wait and give them some space to think for it, they might feel emotionally disconnected with it and needs time to resolve it. They want you to be communicating with them with honesty and integrity, this person think you are allowing your emotions to take control of your life. Also, they feel sadness and loneliness for what you've been through, they think it's right for you to get out your comfort zone and start enjoying and doing a better lifestyle, You might be focusing on your innermost feelings, therefore they want you to withdrawing from the real world, that you need accept the situation and work on your well-being. They're someone that enjoy their flow of your emotions, and this type of person will bring balance and harmony in your life because they feel the same wavelength before. In addition, someone who they think needs acceptance of the situation, they wants to motivate you, they know this is hard for you but you need it. It is time to speak up and move about what is needed or desired before getting everything is too late. Your person think you are like a precious thing to take care of, a breakable glass. Totally they wanted to meet you and love you unconditionally but they know you need more growth and healings, so they telling you take your time to take care of yourself since you are unbeatable and unstoppable, they also like the that you are family oriented type of person that can take care of them and your future kids. They also imagine to making you a morning breakfast in bed and see your morning face like even your feeling ugly they want you to don't feel ugly to yourself 'cause you'd beauty , honestly you feel confident with this person.

Which area in your life will Pluto Aquarius transform? Through the houses

The houses in your birth chart represents the area in your life.

Pluto is the planet that rules over massive transformations, it tears everything down to rebuild it into something better than what you had before.

Aquarius is considered the “freedom sign” the house that Aquarius rules is the place where you will feel free. It’s also the area where you don’t follow the rules and do your own thing.

1h

You as a person is going to be going through a massive change. Considering this is a 20 year transit, it make sense. How you view yourself now won’t be nowhere near the same in 20 years. Matter of fact, as you read this, you won’t remember this version of because it’s going to be so different. Your overall outlook is going to change, how you see those around will be different. Your physical appearance may change and I’m not talking about the natural body changes; no, I’m talking about you getting tattoos when didn’t have them before, dyeing your hair all sorts of colors, there’s a rebellious attitude towards your appearance. You’ll learn to stand up for yourself during this time as well! The 1h is the house of Aries so you’ll have ppl testing you, talk to a Pluto 1h native, they’ll know what I’m talking about LoL, but you’ll learn to stick up for yourself.

2h

How you view and take care of your finances will be different! This can play out multiple ways; maybe you’ll learn some harsh lessons on not overspending and learning how to save. You may have struggled with your finances, and start to see a mass improvement as time go on with this transit. Are you worthy? Is the question you’ll ask your self a lot. Your self worth and how you deal with that will be a big theme for you. Pluto rules over our deepest fears, it’ll force you to look within on where did you get these insecure fears from and you’ll do lots of shadow work. Let me tell you though, once you get past your fears and know your worth!! Chile, you’ll be a bad bitch haha. This is also the physical home, you may move to a new house, or redecorating your current place.

3h

You better speak your truth! The way you process your thoughts and communicate will go through a huge transformation! The 3h is how we talk to people, the things we constantly think about and love to discuss. With Pluto being in this house, you may take a deep dive in learning about whatever topic you’re interested in. 3h also rules over education, you’ll be wanting learn a lot of new things but you want to learn it in depth! You will get to know the depths of your mind. 3h also rules our siblings, teachers and co-workers so expect them to go through lots of changes from your point of view. You may move into a new type of neighborhood that you would’ve never expected to live in.

4h

Chile, your whole private life is about to change. The 4h is the home but it’s the part of our life that we don’t share with others unless they’re close to you. Your home (inside) will drastically change, you may start a family (if you wish), have a family member move in with you. You may move altogether and start fresh. Your family dynamic will change as well, this isn’t always a bad thing either! Aquarius is known as a chain breaker, you may break lots of generational traumas during this time especially if you have the mother wound. The 4h represents our emotional state, Pluto is going to make you feel those emotions hunny, it’s going to a lot of deep emotions as well.

5h

🎵Oh sweet child of mine🎵 it’s time to start healing your inner child wounds. The next 20 years, you’ll will remember what I’ll be like to be a kid and fun again! You may have been ostracized or called the weirdo kid growing up which left you some unhealed wounds. No more hiding, it’s time to express your authentic self to the world my friends! What were some of the things you liked as child? Revisit that. If you’re a creative, the world needs to see your talent, your ideas and projects can help others whether physically or through inspiration. If you have children or want too in the they can help you bring out that inner child again, hell it don’t have to be your child, it can be your niece, nephew or local neighborhood kids that can teach you to lighten up!

6h

🎵now get this work in, working on my sh!&t!🎵 is the theme for you the next 20 years. Now let me be clear, working doesn’t always have to mean your job but just being a busy body in your everyday life! The 6h rules over our daily routines. Pluto is about to disrupt all that lol but maybe the routine you’ve been practicing isn’t healthy for you? You’ll learn what routine works for and you’ll probably have several ones throughout the years because it is a 20 years transit lol. Also your health! Pluto is about to get a lot of people with this placement a reality check when it comes to health, please take care of yourselves. Aquarius rules the nerves and ankles so stretch them and try not to let stress take you out either. I have a Pluto 6h (different sign)natally so I know this placement well. Pets! You may feel inclined to get pets that’s known as guard animals for the home. You may have co-workers(supervisors and managers)that may grow envious or jealous of you. Until you trust them then stay private.

7ħ

I just went through this transit myself and whew! It’s been a doozy! You’re going to meet people who’s going to test you, your transformation is through other people. The 7h is all close relationships so that means your family, your partner, since it’s in Aquarius, that means even strangers in person and online. You may end up with a few partners who’s going to change your whole outlook on relationships and what you want in them. You’ll meet people who’s going to want to work/collaborate with you and some may work out, some not but you’ll learn valuable lessons, Can I trust you? Is the question you’ll be asking several times. If you’re a business owner or if you want to be, you may pursue that during this transit. I started my astrology journey with this page while Pluto was in this house.

8h

The good news is that Pluto is home here so really Pluto is just redecorating his own house lol. Your views on sex and what sex means to you may change. You may have ppl be more open when it comes to sex. Trust! Trusting others in a deep vulnerable way will be a huge theme for you. Vulnerability maybe a tough thing for you to show to people. You may have been shunned emotionally growing up. With Pluto coming back home, you will learn that not everyone is your enemy, it’s okay to open yourself up to those closest to you. Aquarius is the people sign so you’ll about to meet all sorts of people who will challenge you to trust. Your intuition, psychic gifts will also increase as well! You may have futuristic visions and dreams about the collective.

9h

Whatever your personal beliefs or philosophies are, yeah… they’re about to go through a huge rebuild. You will go through things that’s going to change what and who you believe in. You can also still have these beliefs but will have a different view on it due to whatever situations you will be put in. You may start traveling abroad to “taboo” or “non popular” destinations. Maybe you visit a certain country where their culture is known for their funeral/death practices and you want to experience seeing one, something taboo like that. This also ties in to gaining higher knowledge about the world. You’ll want to study the underline or hidden from society parts. Maybe you’ll study a religion but from an occult lenses if that makes sense.

10h

Change in career! You may gain some power in whatever field you’re in. That power could be higher position, having stronger connections or just having the power to stand up to the higher up. People may start to feel intimidated by you even if you don’t feel intimidating. You will start to take yourself seriously and what I mean by that is you’ll start realize you will recognize you are a powerful person. You will feel empowered, people will feel empowered by you. You’re transforming into the Boss. How you manage your life will be more private, which will give you a mysterious aura.

11h

The era of networking! You will meet people who you will you can collaborate with. You may meet ppl during random times in your life. 11h is Uranus energy so you may have few new friend circles over the years. Ppl will come and go in your life. They will make you want to level up, however that may be. This is the house of wish fulfillments. You will have an intense focus on building and working on your dreams and wishes. It may come off as obsessive to a point. The 11h is also the house of collective wealth, things you’ve earned over the years finally building. How you view society as a whole especially online will be different, I think being more private online will be beneficial to you.

12h

Buy you a dream journal or get a notebook to track your dreams! Anytime a planet enters the house of the subconscious mind, expect some crazy dreams. With Pluto being the planet, expect heavy dreams. You may have prophetic dreams about the collective (people). This is a time where you explore the depths of your whole being. The 12h rules over our subconscious mind, things buried and hidden will boil to the surface. This is also the spiritual house, you may be going through lots of spiritual awakening or the new age phrase “dark night of soul” you will do lots of healing and become empowered if you do the work. 12h also rules over past lives, so Pluto will bubble up those past life traumas, karmic patterns. Your psychic gifts will strengthen, you may unlock gifts you didn’t know you had. Powerful time for you!

𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 ?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

This person triggers your childhood issues by making you relive certain patterns. They likely had a messed up childhood too though. When you first met this person, you might've had a lot of dreams including them. As you started getting to know them, the more attached you grew, to the point of obsession actually. This person is neglecting their inner child. They daydream a lot in general and I think after the both of you seperated, maladaptive daydreaming became a coping mechanism for them. They seem to be insecure about themself and their image. Especially, now more than ever because they might have thought that you'd stick by their side forever but you chose to walk away. They're emotionally immature and act really childish and when I say that I do not mean that they act like a child, I mean that they lack the ability and understanding to deal with matters in a way a healthy adult does. Likely, because they're unhealed, they're also very sensitive towards their emotions but when it comes to yours, they neglected it completely. If this person is still in your life, you need to burn the bridge, the way they're acting is helping it burn anyway 💀. They have a tendency to reject your emotions, "I felt hurt because of what you said" "You do not understand me, I was just joking and I'm going through a hard time please just leave me the fuck alone." This person invented the concept of 'hurt people, hurt people', they're emotionally wounded and wound everyone around them, then, they sit there and go "everyone leaves me". They tend to take simple confrontation as a direct attack on them. They likely treated you like trash and were unaware of the consequences. They see you as someone who lacks direction and self control. They also think that you're kind of pushy. They think that you have some sort of a strong conflict with them. They think that you're arrogant even though you are not all that. Honestly, you might've acted really humble with them, downplaying yourself and your accomplishments with them so that they didn't feel insecure but on the inside, you were and are actually pretty strong. They think that you question life's purpose a lot. They think that you fear change. You might have had a strong foundation with them so they still have some amount of faith that you'll go back into their life. I'm getting that they can either see or feel that you're starting fresh and they haven't come in terms with it yet. The kind of energy I'm getting is.

Just an example, by the way, supposing you've been friends with someone since you were in middle-school, even when you're in college, they cannot let go of that image of you even though you've changed a lot. They think that you're someone who fears change but they can see or feel that you're stepping into an evolved version of yourself. When they were in your life, you might've been a person who clinged onto the past and they still want to think that you're like that but they have a small fear of like "what if they're actually changing?" They think that you act really irrational sometimes even though I think that you were often driven to the point of irrationality. They seem to expect a lot from you without giving you anything because you've always given them a lot for free. They think that you refuse to see things as they are, even though they seem to be the person doing it right now. They think that you act passive aggressive. Even though, everytime you tried to talk to them in a mature manner, they just shut you down. They're thinking about how they lashed out and hurt your feelings. I'm getting that now that you're gone, they're starting to look at you through a different lens. Before, they looked at you through the '___ will never leave anyway' kinda way but now they're looking at you through rose-tinted glasses. "Damn, they treated me so well but that's how I treated them." They feel a lot of guilt towards you. They still find it unreal that you let go of them. They just cannot accept it. They don't really talk to anyone about what happened. Maybe, their friends, etc. don't really know you, you might've been a secret to them. This is upsetting, to be honest. They have mixed feelings and thoughts, while they think and believe that you are not over them, that you'll be back, they're starting to feel like maybe this time you actually won't come back. You might have a history of leaving this person and going back to them, again and again. They have a feeling that you're focusing on your life purpose and think that you might've found a new hobby or are just focused on improving yourself, your art, getting an education, etc. They also think that you're healing right now. They kind of know that you've had enough of their shirt, they think that you're managing your emotions and staying true to yourself. They think that you're focused on peace. For some of you, they think that you're just with someone else right now but once you guys split, you'll go back to this person again.

They sometimes just go 'what if ___ thinks I'm good riddance?' and you probably do think that way. They assume that you think that the both of you had a good foundation. They kind of believe that you'll be back because of how strong that foundation was, even though that faith is starting to shake now. I think the both of you were pretty comfortable with each other until it was not possible anymore. They think that you felt like your investment of love, time and energy was worth it but things have changed now. They think that you're probably really disappointed at them and also at the situation. They know that they made you feel really sad, pretty much abandoned. They think that they made you feel emotionally unstable and lonely. They think that you're likely still processing it. They wonder if you're happy with where you're at right now because they seem to have treated you really bad. They're mentally overwhelmed. They have kind of taken the loss. There was a lack of proper communication. They barely even have the energy to think. They feel confused though. They're struggling to let go because you added a lot of support and value into their life. They regret not listening to you. They find themself stressing about this situation but they choose to have faith that you'll go back to them. My advice is that you stay away from them but the decision is up to you ofcourse. They feel like you're the kind of relationship that goes through thick and thin together, even though, you were the only one going through all of it. You awakened something in them. They were shallow and had a character/spiritual poverty but they're starting to come out of it, thanks to you. I think, since guilt is the only thing that they can feel close to you, they're holding it very close but now they're trying to forgive and accept themself and the situation. They feel like they were very difficult and disagreeable with you. They know that they acted unworthy of your trust. They're actually feeling really weak and needy right now. They remember you as someone who was really struggling and was stuck in a cycle with them. They also remember you as a really loving person though. They remember how trustworthy and supportive you always proved to be. They remember you as someone kind of free who was maybe kind of non-committal but they also remember that your loyalty towards them was very strong. They reminisce about the days when you used to talk all night.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

They have a tendency to overspend. They're shedding their old skin. They're generous and giving towards others. They're kind of possessive of the ones they want though. What I'm getting is that this person was protecting themself to the point you had to walk away from them. They're someone who has a structured routine. They're structuring and strategising their next moves towards you but they feel like the responsibilities that they'll have to take will be really heavy. They were very defensive which caused you to believe that they do not feel anything towards you, I just heard 'apathy'. They're daydreaming a lot about you. They're not being able to see the bright side when it comes to this situation. I'm not sure what happened but they regret whatever happened. Maybe, they didn't make their decision quick enough, they chose someone else but what I'm getting is that they were in fact stringing you along. They wonder what things would've been like if they were willing and able to grow up. They remember you in a very nostalgic way. They seem tired of everything. You might even think that they acted very ungrateful but maybe because this person didn't really promise anything to you, you're not thinking about it too much. You are likely like "I wanted to give ___ to them so I did, while I feel like I wasted it, it's alright". You're not the kind of person who makes noise just because you spent money, time or energy on someone and things didn't work out. They feel like they kept you around for their own personal needs. This person might've been one of the people who used to thrive off of having options and they're starting to realise that it was detrimental. They feel like they acted really cold and closed off towards you. They enjoyed it when you used to reach out to them, you used to give them a lot attention even though they did not return the same to you. It made them feel superior. They're starting to realise that it was kinda manipulative and harsh of them.

They were playing stupid games and they won stupid prizes. They feel like they might have judged you too harshly too. They're feeling kind of trapped. They feel like you've let go or are letting go. They feel like you often put them first in the past. They think that they made you feel really insecure at some point. They see you as someone who's accepting of other people's differences. They see you as someone loyal, atleast towards them. They think that you empathise with others and try to be understanding towards them. They feel like you are loving and interested in giving and receiving love. They're not feeling stable within themself. They're feeling impatient to the point of recklessness, if they're not acting reckless in front of you right now, which I feel like you don't give them the chance to act, they are doing things by themself that are kinda reckless. The thing is, this person is not able to do anything long term. I recommend that you stay away from them but it's ultimately your choice at the end of the day. They are still feeling and acting very selfish. I'm not getting that they feel any guilt, they just regret what they did because you don't give them energy anymore. They are commitment phobic and pretty fixed on staying single, no matter how many hearts they have broken and will continue breaking doesn't matter to them at all. They want you back in their life but it's just for this selfish cause. They'll likely make empty promises if you do re-enter their life. They think that you see them as someone who's just not ready to commit. They think that you think that they're neglectful of other's especially your needs. They think that you think that they fear commitment and don't face your emotions. They think that you see them as someone who lacks communication skills and is unwilling to communicate. They think that you see them as someone immature and someone who fears abandonment. They'll likely not come forward and you should move on.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

This person is maturing and growing. The energy I'm getting is that you've seen them when they were not as mature too. Maybe, an ex friend or an ex lover who left the hometown for college or work. There's an energy of seeing each other grow up or something. Even though, they've let go of the past, they haven't really. They look at life and especially, you through rose tinted glasses. I'm not getting that you are on good terms though. They feel homesick and want to go back to how things were. I'm getting that it was probably a platonic connection though. Coming across anything that reminds them of you, stirs up their emotions. They're worried that the grudges that might be present in the connection are still there. You might have recently met them in some sort of a reunion and maybe it was awkward or you might've received an invitation to a reunion or to hang out and they might be invited too. You've likely known them since your childhood or teenage days though. You guys had a lot of fun together. 'Ditto' by newjeans started playing. The both of you didn't have a hard time accepting and working with your differences. You used to feel so safe and happy with each other. I'm definitely getting something that was long term though, maybe you were in the same friendgroup for years or know each other since childhood. You were emotionally content with each other. I'm definitely getting a community-like vibe, same school, town, neighbourhood, etc. They are thinking about you because when you were having a lot of chaos in your life, they added more to it and didn't support you.

They're thinking about how you've suddenly changed. I think they basically did everything to make you feel less than and when you chose to stand up for yourself. You ended up coming off kinda aggressive and they chose to use that against you too. They're thinking about how bad your mental health must've been at that time. They think that you've developed a 'i ain't taking anyone's shit' attitude. They were triggered to think about their behaviour when things fell off with a man, it could be their homie, boyfriend or whatever but the man acted very immature which caused them to think about the way they acted with you. They think that they were being quick to anger when it comes to you which caused them to come off as unreliable. They were being very manipulative and they're aware of it. I'm getting that for whatever reason, you're not around any of the people who remind you of them but for them, the people they're around likely bring you up a lot and they do the same too. I'm getting an ex friend group vibe. When they're having fun with their friends or literally just meeting them, they end up thinking about how you used to be there too. They recently met or talked to someone and were reminded of you, probably because the other person brought you up. I think the main issue here was envy. They think that you're someone seductive and you attract the gender that they're interested in. If they are not a friend but a romantic interest, then they were jealous and upset about the options that you had. Maybe, they didn't attract as many people as you did or atleast that's what they thought.

They think that you're someone who gets whatever they want. They might think that you're kind of childish too. I feel like, you were childish in the past but aren't anymore though. They think that you're self-reliant and don't need them. They think that you're wise and elegant. They think that you can treat yourself now. They think that you're kind of happy and content without them. They think that you're successful in certain areas. They see you as someone who's always growing, they don't understand how things are always going well for you. I just heard "she knows how to talk to guys" 💀. They think that you take action towards the things that you want. They feel like things have grown distant between the both of you and it's ruined to the point of no repair. The thing is, you seem to having a good life, things seem to be working for you while they feel like it's not the same for them. They compare themself to you a lot. They feel kind of defensive too because they think that you're happy and content without them. They feel like you don't need them anymore. They think that you've not gotten over what they did to you, the negative things, you'll never be able to get over it, even if you do forgive them, you'll never be able to trust and love them again, that's what they think. They wonder how you feel towards them, they think that you do feel nostalgic when thinking about them. They also think that if they do reach out to you, you'll not make any rash decisions. They think that you'll prefer having more information about them before making any decision. They think that you might even outright tell them that you've let go of them.

I always say I don't do Meta but here I am stuck in my head over the Family Systems lens of viewing our beloved Ineffable Idiots.

Crowley, as the Black sheep (scapegoat) has done a lifetime+ (6000 odd years) of unpacking his identity and detaching from his toxic family of origin (Heaven and then the "found" family of Hell). He started to differentiate from Heaven first by reveling in the assigned role of the outcast - being Unforgivable. Because if you are told long enough that you are the Bad One, you will start to believe it, internalize it. But that is only a reactionary identity, not a whole one.

So In GO S1, we see Crowley recognizing his own growth away from even his assigned role. He doesn't identify with Hell anymore than he identifies with Heaven because they both want him to stay quietly and obediently in a box. Whereas all that time around humans, with all our complexities and gray areas, has (I think) helped him realize that boxes just don't work. Obviously his ability to be completely head over heels for Aziraphale has also played a part in this.

With Az, Crowley gets to be the Savior - a roleplay they both clearly enjoy. Crowley gets to be covertly "good" as is still part of his nature. But goodness does not define him and it's very important to him that this remain true. Being "good" is for Angels and the resentment toward Heaven is an unhealed wound. He also gets to roleplay "tempting" Az in a safe, controlled way - since we all know Az wants to be tempted anyway. Through their relationship, Crowley gets to be more fully himself than anywhere else.

Aziraphale reaps this benefit, as well, but he is far less aware of it (on the surface). Because Aziraphale was never cast out, he is still living with the comfortable level of denial regarding the toxicity of his Family of Origin (Heaven). Az still harbors hope that things can be changed for the better, that the people in charge (caretakers) are operating from a place of fundamental Good. Az is the adult who seems to function highly on the outside but is always falling apart within because they still feel that they *do* have to fit neatly into the "boxes" Crowley long ago eschewed.

Azriaphale is a ball of walking Anxiety and Perfectionism because he is still so enmeshed with the exalted expectations of his Family of Origin. He can only "rebel" in secret for the most part. Good Omens 1 is a major moment of growth for him - the first open act of rebellion against the Family. He is able to do so because Crowley has his back (like a supportive partner) and, I believe, at least in part because Gabriel has been such a bully that Az reaches a breaking point with it in that moment. I'm sure it helps that they get to save actual children from harm.

But one big moment of rebellion doesn't mean the cycles of a thousand lifetimes will be automatically broken. Az does well enough with being an outcast of Heaven when it means the bullying and expectations on him are finally relaxed but as we see by his responses to the Angelic visits all through S2, he hasn't truly severed his feeling of responsibility toward the Family (Heaven).

When a major Caretaker (Metatron) steps in to offer Az everything he has never hoped to dream, of course he can only see it as essential. He has never had to process a full break from the Family like Crowley so he truly cannot understand where Crowley is in his emotional journey. Az has basically just had his wounded inner child told that Mummy and Daddy not only wanted and loved him all along but that they now want to give him the respect he never got before.

And Az truly wants to believe this illusion because it fulfills every emotional wounds that was still open within him. Hence why he also lets himself believe that he can be the one who *does* make a difference in Heaven. He wants to genuinely believe that he can bring Crowley back into the Family - where they can both be blissfully loved and accepted. To Az, it's the opportunity to stop hiding and rebelling in secret. To be able to offer Crowley what Az sees as the dearest gift anyone could bestow: Redemption.

Crowley, having seen the two of them as being in far more similar places, emotionally, is blindsided by this. Crowley no longer sees Heaven's acceptance as a positive. He knows how cruel and unjust the Family can be - and has been to him for centuries. He cannot, for the life of him, understand why Az does NOT see it. And Az offering him a return to Heaven is salt in the wound of "you're not good enough as you are." Crowley feels that the only person who has ever felt safe in his existence is suddenly telling him that everything he has worked to be, the emotional mountain he has climbed to be *himself* is worth less than reverting back to the being he was *before* he did all the work.

What Az sees as opportunity for unity, for fulfilling the childish dreams of being "accepted" by their Family of Origin, Crowley sees as a fundamental rejection of himself.

Maybe all of this was obvious and I may have been off about a few things - haven't watched S1 one in about a year. But this was my overall impression and I needed to get it out of my system. Not beta'd or proofread.

Thank you to anyone who actually bothers to read all of this XD

Not sure who needs to hear this, but it is not your responsibility to fix your parent's unhealed trauma. Parenting your parent while parenting your inner child is a heavy burden to carry.

In order to embrace parents, allow them to evolve on their own terms and at their own pace. People only change when they choose to change. The more you tell someone to do this and that, the less they want to do it. Instead, allow your parents to choose their own path and accept the fact that they may never change. You may be the only person who wants them to change, but they won't, even though you think it would be good for them. Give up the fantasy that one day your parents will change. When we can't accept another person, it's usually not about that person. It's about us. We try to control the actions and behavior of others because we don't want to deal with our own grief. Recognizing our parents' right to be who they are means we have to face reality and leave the fantasies behind. It means we have to come to terms with the fact that they weren't as caring or as supportive as we imagined or wanted them to be. It also means we have to accept that it is not in our power to get "perfect love" from our parents or, for that matter, from anyone else. Our fantasy of our own parents only hides the pain we felt as children. Realizing that it is only a fantasy can bring back our childhood pain. However, we can only be free when we work through our emotions - anger, resentment, shame, fear and grief - and when we accept our parents for who they are. Only by accepting our parents will we be able to take on the responsibility of loving and caring for ourselves without expecting or depending on them for anything. The only way to improve our relationship with our parents is to change the way we treat them. And to do that, we must change ourselves.

I feel like a ghost sometimes. Invisible, uninvited, unknown, shunned, overlooked, misunderstood deeply, not real, a myth. I frighten the living with my presence unintentionally. They demonized me because I am the truth. People who are afraid of the truth, are afraid of their own fears and run away from me. I have never felt the need to be around others, I always felt more at peace alone. So when people want to run away, I never chase them and sometimes they wonder why I don't seek their approval, validation or love. Needing approval from anyone will lead you to not knowing your true self and being inauthentic to please people around you. I never wanted to be like other people unless I was very inspired by them, and I still only wanted to be myself so I was naturally authentic thus never needing approval from others.

This comes from a deep inner self love of myself and all that I have overcome in my own life. I do not need, or want for much outside of myself and I don't need a lot of friends either because I am so self assured and have so much within me it feels like I'm giving too much and receiving too little in return when I spend time with others. I do love to give to others but not when that person is a bully or an abuser. I have even been very generous with them because getting revenge was never my cup of tea.

These people saw me, a person minding their own business and that seemed odd to them that I didn't want or need them for validation so they labeled me as odd, then proceeded to abuse and bully me just because I was different and they couldn't read me. I understand the root cause of other people's behaviors and actions towards me and so that is why it's so easy for me to understand them. I do not excuse their behavior but I understand why they felt the need to betray me, exclude me, be in a silent competition with me, put me down in front of others, belittle me, threaten me, bully me, abuse me etc. Because they felt threatened by my energy and presence. I threatened their demons by my authenticity and light.

When you look into my eyes I can see right through you, I can see right through anyone and that is why they run away, this is a gift and curse because it will trigger them into their own healing if they don't ignore their own self journey but it also means they will project their unhealed wounds onto me if they choose not to heal. I don't take this personal anymore. I can get along with anyone, but that doesn't mean I want to be around anyone. It's not personal. But people really underestimated my ability to let go of them because of my natural kindness, they thought I actually needed them.

But I never needed anyone I only chose them because I liked their personalities until I realized they were just using me. Then I suppose they thought I was disposing of them or discarding them because I moved on so quickly. But I was so used to people using me and I was so self assured that I could heal myself almost overnight from their fuckery. My love wasn't fake, and theirs was so I felt like I didn't lose anyone worth losing, in my mind-they lost a real loving, kind person with good intentions for them. But to them, they only saw my worth when I was gone. They didn't know that I had a silent inner confidence and true love for myself that I worked on silently. I was always a listener and not a talker. My music and vocal teachers were some of the best of the best, and they all taught me how to be confident while I was performing so I didn't have a choice, I had to be confident in order to not disappoint them and I wanted to be an excellent vocalist by my own free will.

My voice was always silenced and talked over since I was a child and even in previous lifetimes. Even while I was singing, especially in front of my abusers. I had a very unique perspective, creativity, wisdom and insight to share but no one thought I was anything more than my appearance. They just thought, I was pretty and I should be quiet to be more attractive. It's not like I had a speech impediment or that I said anything that crazy. They just saw me as an object and not as a human being with needs, not even realizing I was autistic and had extra needs.

All my needs were ignored because I looked fine. But there were days I looked like I was dying and no one cared, they expected me to fulfill all their needs while breadcrumbing me. Would you want to be around people if you were very psychic, could read their energy, read their body language, read their mind, while they talk shit about you and breadcrumb you and see and feel into their deepest hidden skeletons in their closets, their pains and insecurities and become them through their perspective, through their eyes? The blood of Yeshua ran through my veins, I could feel their pain so that I could heal them by mirroring their energy back to them. Why on earth would I be an extravert with that kind of ability? And why did people feel so entitled to my energy and justified abusing me?

This ability allows me to heal people I come into contact with, but also drains me and leaves me feeling depressed, angry, and sad taking on their own energy. I can understand them deeply but they cannot understand me because I am mirroring their own energy back to them so they mistake their energy as my energy. One thing was for certain, this world never welcomed me with open arms and I couldn't figure out a way to exist without suffering and I couldn't figure out how to leave this realm without disappointing everyone until I learned how to unlearn everything I was taught.

That traditional way of living did not feel fulfilling to me because I had too many gifts, too much talent, too much passion, too many other options to go on and too much to give to the world, that I'm not trying to settle for the original, regular cookie cutter, status quo human life that they wanted for me. I was never meant for a 9 to 5 job, and God wouldn't even allow me to stay there when I tried to do what I was told. I was rejected completely everywhere I went.

I move different because I am different -not better just different. Not separate just a little odd, because I have always been a dreamer, I have always believed in magic, I have always felt like an alien and I have always believed that there was more to this reality than meets the eye. I chose the path to real fulfilment by choosing myself over everyone from my past, and everything they wanted me to be. I have always chosen to see the good in others despite how much trauma they caused me and how much pain I've gone through, they were put there in my reality for a reason.

I am a radical optimist and I have chosen to forgive and love them as if they are me, other aspects of my consciousness in my own Universe. As a child I could see a higher perspective most people weren't aware of, and I could see clear solutions to the illusions of Earth that most people bought into through fear. I was fascinated by fear, and I wanted to understand fear by facing my own illusionary fears so I would stare into the darkness, into my triggers and my own darkness to see what I was so afraid of. I'm so sensitive to red flag signs that I pick up on them more than the average person.

Because I've seen so much and experienced it. I notice the small details most people overlook and sometimes I wish I wasn't so aware. People misjudged, misused, misunderstood, took advantage of me so often that it became a big cosmic joke in my reality where I had no choice but to forgive everyone and show them unconditional love, empathy and compassion because they couldn't see me, they couldn't even if they tried because their own ego was so negative and so misused they couldn't even see themselves so how could I expect them to see me clearly? They were hurting me so unconsciously I had to forgive them for myself because the resentment, the pain, the rage, the sadness was eating me alive and making me chronically ill for months. I had no choice but to let everyone off the hook. I am grateful that I chose to do that because I saved myself. No one else saves us.

Our reality bubbles trigger us into healing our own demons instead of pointing the finger until we can't take it anymore and surrender and just start laughing at every single trigger and at this big cosmic joke because it's just an intelligent simulation designed to evolve our consciousness. I choose love and forgiveness every single time because I am love and I love myself and I won't hurt myself anymore. They tried everything to make me bitter, cold hearted, and turn me into my pain but I came out with more love, compassion, wisdom and so much light to give. I am literally the phoenix rising from the ashes.

The enemy doesn't rob empty houses. I had a rich, golden beautiful treasure deep within me from my ancestors , from my past lives, from lifetimes of accomplishments, gifts, and pain and that is why they attacked me so much, I chose to be abused before I came to Earth because of my purpose I had to endure endless suffering but it's finally over because I learned the lessons. I forgive myself for projecting that reality by creating it within and I forgive all of my abusers because they were just playing that role for me to learn from. I felt so much rage, so many intense emotions while people thought I had the perfect life. Now I really will be having that perfect life they assumed I lived for so long. Because I forgive every single day. I am the pure consciousness that powers my world, I am All That Is, I am everything, I am the entire Universe because it's my Universe so I have the ability to trust in my preferred Earth reality version, and I choose to bring down heaven on Earth. No one else outside of me decides when that happens, only I do.

No one outside of you can tell you when it happens for you. You can live happily ever after whenever you decide to bring Heaven down on Earth, and you do that by being love first that you want to see, and you do that by choosing yourself first, and you do that by forgiving everyone in your reality because they know not what they do. Your energy, your true soul's essence is too important to be ignored and to be dimmed down just to fit in with everyone else.

Just be yourself and you will surprise and shock yourself with how much you can discover about yourself, don't seek approval from out there just find it within here and let yourself be happy because you deserve to know your true self. You can have it all right here and now, let everything come to you. Perseverance despite circumstance determines if you have really changed within and determine your future of abundance and success. Never let the flames of hell create the illusion that you can't save yourself. Get off the karmic wheel, forgive, drop off all the baggage of the past, all the burdens, all the guilt , the shame, the pain, all the curses they gave you and make your heart as light as a feather. That is who you are and have always been.

Reach for the stars, focus on gratitude for the lessons and never settle for less than you deserve by believing in the illusions and the breadcrumbs they give you. Appreciate everyone in your reality, even the ones you've rejected. Remember they are another you. Speak the new story into existence. Let go by feeling love. Feel to heal. Meditate. Find your center to find your way. Let the Universe show you better than you can imagine by letting go of your desires. Never chase anything, not even your dreams because that's still seeking approval which is the inauthentic version of you which leads to no success and only temporary gain and fulfillment and you will only watch everything run away from you. Bring heaven to you by choosing happiness and love. Remember life is about the journey and not the destination. Let your light guide your sight. I am here to serve you and serve the light.

dating until I find my Italian architect husband, looking like a 90s supermodel, hosting intimate dinner parties for my friends, mini Prada backpack as a book bag, Photo Booth selfies healing my inner child and working on my unhealed trauma, vintage Chanel, jet setting to Milan, blonde curtain bangs, becoming the best version of myself, Friday night dinners out while wearing Gucci mini dresses, living abroad, reformer Pilates, every man I meet falls in love with me, smelling like byredo b’al dafrique and rose water, saks Potts coats, biologique recherche face masks while I watch housewives, rhinoplasty..

WHAT'S THEIR PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE ? 🗝

pick only one picture that resonates the most with you. allow yourself to have an open mind and please only take what resonates as it's a general reading. this reading is only for entertainment purposes and is not 100% correct.

Allow me to tap into your energy, please.

Pile 1

the lovers, 9 of swords, 10 of wands, Temperance

For some of you this could be a love interest, and they are here to teach you the meaning of true & unconditional love. They are here to trigger healing in you, you may feel anxious or your past is suddenly triggered when you talk to this person. They are here for your spiritual growth. Love is Godliness, a feeling closest to god.

You may be twinflames because they trigger each other to heal. You may also be scared of love because it feels new to you, maybe you never received enough love from others and this made you feel bad about yourself. They are here to help you love yourself. It's their purpose to teach you love by triggering unhealed traumas.

You carry lots of baggages, even from your past life. They will help you live freely by releasing all of that and heal your inner child who feels like a burden, but is not. Even though I'm seeing that healing yourself will be a very tough journey, but that's the reason why your soul has incarnated into who you are today, at this moment.

You may have had experiences in your life when people lied to you or betrayed you, even in love you were cheated on. Your higher self is guiding you right now. Please focus on your healing and balancing your karma. They will help you address these wounds and they will also help you connect to your higher self and guides.

Pile 2

2 of pentacles, the fool, two of wands, page of swords

pile 2, your energy is very contradicting and hard to read. You are someone very confused and chaotic in life. You take risks then you immediately regret your life decisions lol. But the person you're asking about will help you with your chaotic energy and scattered behavior.

They are like a portal for you. New doors will be opened in your life through them. So be ready for it! They will help you get out of your inner chaos and explore the outer world more and create a balance between both.

They will go on dates with you. They may act a bit strict sometimes but it's for your betterment. You may not see the good in this right now, but later in life you'll be thankful to have them in your life. They can be a friend or a lover.

An extra thing I'm seeing is that you guys may connect over social media or just text a lot in general. You will make them feel like a child again. I'm also seeing that they will help you regain the lost momentum or control you had over your life.

Pile 3

ace of wands, king of pentacles, strength,the chariot, 9 of cups, 2 pentacles

Some of you could be asking about a mentor or a guide. They can be a spiritual master or a teacher of yours. They are here to provide you guidance and help you develo thinking abilities and skills so that you can manifest opportunities in your life. Or reach your goals.

They are here to provide you support, emotional and physical or even spiritual. They will console you whenever you feel down or sad. You are like their own child. And they deeply connect with you to a spiritual level.

You are someone who is very chaotic amd lacks direction in life. They will probably come into your life in a situation where you are juggling between a lot of things without clarity. They will show you a way out of this world. They will help you create a path and move in proper direction with a sense of clarity. They will also help you get stable in life.

Shadow work prompts for relationship trauma

Describe a specific relationship trauma or painful event from your past that still affects you today.

What emotions or feelings do you associate with this trauma?

How has this relationship trauma shaped your beliefs about yourself and relationships?

Explore the earliest memory you have related to this trauma. How did it impact you?

What role did you play in the dynamics of the relationship that led to this trauma?

How did the other person involved in the trauma contribute to the situation?

What patterns or behaviours from this past relationship have you repeated in other relationships?

Reflect on the impact of this trauma on your self-esteem and self-worth.

What unhealed wounds or unresolved issues from your past may have contributed to this trauma?

How has this relationship trauma influenced your ability to trust and open up to others?

Explore any self-sabotaging behaviours or beliefs that have resulted from this trauma.

What have you tried to do to cope with or numb the pain from this trauma?

Have you forgiven yourself for your role in this relationship trauma? Why or why not?

What do you wish the other person involved in this trauma knew or understood about your experience?

Reflect on the positive lessons or growth that has come from this trauma.

How has this relationship trauma influenced your choices in current or future relationships?

What support or resources do you need to heal from this trauma?

What would it look like to release the pain and negative energy associated with this trauma?

How can you practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness in relation to this trauma?

Write a letter to your younger self who experienced this trauma, offering love and guidance.

What role does self-care play in your healing journey from this relationship trauma?

Reflect on any dreams or recurring symbols related to this trauma and what they might mean.

Explore the impact of this trauma on your physical health and well-being.

How have your past relationship traumas influenced your current boundaries and expectations?

Are there any cultural or societal influences that have played a part in this trauma?

How do you envision a future where you have healed from this relationship trauma?

What steps can you take today to start the healing process?

Would you consider therapy or group counselling? What are your reservations or fears about doing so?

Reflect on the idea of forgiveness and whether it's a part of your healing journey.

Imagine the strength and resilience you can gain through healing from this trauma and envision a positive future.

Explore the role of self-blame and guilt in relation to this trauma. How have these feelings affected you?

Consider the impact of your relationship trauma on your current friendships and connections.

Reflect on how your inner child may still carry the wounds from this trauma. What can you do to comfort and heal your inner child?

How has this relationship trauma affected your ability to communicate and express your needs in your current relationships?

Are there any recurring thoughts or beliefs related to this trauma that you would like to release or transform?

Consider the people or resources that have supported you in your healing journey. How have they made a difference?

Reflect on any moments of self-empowerment or resilience that have emerged from your experience with relationship trauma.

How can you redefine your self-identity and self-worth independent of this trauma's influence?

Explore any patterns of numbing or avoidance (e.g., substance use, emotional eating) that you've developed in response to this trauma.

What practices or rituals can you incorporate into your life to promote healing and self-care?

Write a letter to the person who caused the trauma, even if you never plan to send it. Express your feelings and seek closure.

Imagine yourself as an outsider looking in at your own life. What advice would you give to someone going through a similar trauma?

How does this trauma affect your ability to set healthy boundaries in your relationships?

Reflect on the concept of self-forgiveness and the potential impact it could have on your healing journey.

Consider the qualities and characteristics you would like to cultivate in yourself as you heal from this trauma.

Explore the idea of redefining love and relationships in a way that supports your healing and growth.

What impact has this trauma had on your overall life purpose and goals?

Reflect on the strength and resilience you have already displayed in coping with this trauma.

How can you use mindfulness and self-awareness as tools to heal from this relationship trauma?

Envision a future where you have fully healed from this trauma and reclaimed your sense of self. What does that future look like?

I realized I’ve been carrying my unhealed inner child with me for so long that it was ruining a lot of important relationships In my life… time to let go