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Healing (being healed) doesn't mean not being triggered anymore, deleting trauma from your life, no more falling into mind traps. It doesn't mean you'll be perfect once you're done (there's no such thing as "perfection"). You may still fall into old mental pattern occasionally, you may still have triggers here and there.

In fact, healing means recognizing and accepting your emotional reflexes and needs, so that you don't have to let them take over cause you know you are the one in control. It means knowing you have other options to choose from when triggers hit you, that won't have you ending up in a burnout, overthinking or feeling overwhelmed by everything. It means you know you can choose your thoughts and reactions freely, without having to depend on your traumatized mind and what it wants you to think/feel (even if to keep you safe).

(for more)

Healing💕

When you realize your moon sign and phase also indicates rituals and beneficial things to heal yourself on the day your moon returns in the same sign (especially nurturing rituals be like)

Yas go girl give me that harmony rituals already -

on reconnecting with one's self. Hanif Abdurraqib, They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us / Isao Takahata's Only Yesterday (1991) / Anais Nin, Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin, 1939-1947 / @sha963 / Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous / Untitled (2022), Sung Hwa Kim, soft pastels and acrylic on paper / Better in the Morning, Birdtalker / Untitled (2022), Sung Hwa Kim, soft pastels and acrylic on paper / Jenn Givhan, from “The Decision”

it's called developmental trauma because our brain is still continuing to develop until adulthood (and possibly until 25yrs of age)

research shows that the brains of adults who have gone through developmental trauma are structurally different when compared to adults who have not experienced continuous trauma during their childhoo

please remember that PTSD is different from C-PTSD and they're both different from trauma

“Unbosom”

06.28.23

An artwork depicting the feeling of opening up one’s feelings. Sadness can relieve us, our tears will water the hope that can blossom after we release the burdens off our chests. The flowers are petunias, a symbol for hope and healing.

Displayed in the art exhibit at Kahilom Café - Tamaraw Hills on June 30, 2023.

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It is difficult to open up about something that should have not happened.

It’s going to be worth it, in the end.

The pain, the shame, the sadness will all come out, you’ll feel breathless, but darling, it’s not going to kill you, I promise, you will see, for sure.

It’s going to hunt you, in your dream, in your head, for a while.

You are going to cry, you are going to scream, you warrior.

It’s going to be a long journey, but I know you can do it.

You will feel lighter, you will feel less lonely, and, more importantly, you will start to heal

Please be brave, brace yourself and SPEAK UP.

I wish healing for what you don't tell anyone

I wish healing for what you don't tell anyone, but still affects you so much, still triggers you, brings about defensive reactions, fear, avoidance, hypervigilance… whether you realize it or not. Which part of you still wears a mask of perfection and rigidity? Which part of you is trapped in the attic of your mind?

Which part of you still feels the need to be the exact opposite of who you are for others, for fear of what they'll think if you reveal your true feelings and thoughts?

Have you ever reflected on how much this keeps you from living the truth of your life, including making choices aligned with who you are?

Emotionally speaking, when we hold back our truths - our inner truths - it's like holding onto something that needs to come out, and the more you hold, close, and suppress, the more side effects emerge. Initially, they are minor and subtle. Later, the effects become more evident - and complicated.

It's like holding in a fart, and doing that repeatedly, does it hurt or not? Is it harmful or not?

In the case of a fart, for example, it can lead to problems, even health problems.

In emotional matters, it's the same. The difference is that you can't see it, and you don't go to the doctor - but you feel the side effects of holding in and suppressing everything.

Release, let go. Can we try to make releasing and letting go a habit in your routine from now on? If holding back is your habit, try releasing 1% or 0.5% or even 0.01% every day. Day after day, this number will accumulate significantly in your process of reopening.

Life is about feeling and thinking,

experiencing and rationalizing, together, not necessarily separately.

You deserve completeness and happiness.

So, (re)connect with your emotions. Release and make peace with them today 💚

It's NEVER too late to start. But if possible, start today.

I finally accepted that I need to focus on myself more and just heal.

Maybe you had to grow up learning, even from small things and acts of carelessness, that others were more important than you, that it was never your turn to be prioritized or provided for unconditionally: it felt like you always had to prove you were worthy of such attention, and that you were too needy. I want to remind you once again that that's not true: you were only asking for what you deserved, and was due to you, but for reasons that weren't (and aren't) under your control (very likely your caregivers unhealed and uncovered traumas), you couldn't receive.

If now you really want to be loved and chosen, to be put first, but at the same time you're scared to let people in and end up in the same old situation, it's okay. It's normal to be willing to experience a certain type of love we missed and at the same time be scared of not being worthy or it not being real or for us. Remind yourself this fear is only cause by this terrible, heart shattering habit you were put under your whole life (or most of it), and it's were your unconscious mind wants to keep you cause it feels safe and known (despite it being so painful). You're deserving of love, of being chosen, of receiving all you missed. It's time to let this happen for you, let this in your life. To give yourself a chance. Maybe you won't succeed at the first try, maybe a bunch of people will still be leaving you, but please, at least choose yourself. Do everything you can to be in love with yourself and aware of your worth and lovability. Someone willing to give you the moon and all the stars, will arrive. Be faithful. It wasn't you, and it's still not you the problem.

Patience and self-discipline are strong allies along your healing path. They both need elements of trust and dignity. The universe moves in divine timing and asks you to honor the process. Keep belief in your growth and healing. Stay the course. You have a new life ahead of you.

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‘Let it all out angel’

The process of healing from anxiety also lies in the little things. I went to get my nails done, and the girl wanted to try a new technique on me. I agreed but I didn't like the result at all and she didn't seem to care that the nails weren't objectively pretty. Contrary to what I would have done in the past, I mustered up the courage to tell her "please do them again, I'm not convinced" adding of course that I would pay her more for the trouble and products used, but despite little old me saying "you idiot, now she hates you", "you're wasting her time", "mind your own business", "shut the hell up", the me who is slowly coming out of this vortex said "no matter what she thinks, you did fine this way"

And of course, this is not a speech to be applied only to nails.

ps: in the end she didn't charge me extra and even apologized. I reassured her that everything was fine because, you know, things just happens! Because I don't think she didn't do a proper job on purpose!

You have to know how to express yourself properly, though! Always. You can get respect while remaining gentle.

I'm going through a depressive episode rn so I have like zero energy

But my lovely mutuals I see your tags I'll get to them all I swear I appreciate them so much my heart lights up when I see them

Yall give me life tyyy for being amazing <333