#tw su1cide
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#tw su1cide#bpd#mental health#actually bpd#mental illness#bpd shit#actually borderline#bpd shitposting#bpd problems#bpd mood#bpd meme#ocd#obsessive compulsive spectrum#obsessive compulsive disorder#harm ocd#ptsd#CPTSD
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So what if it’s September?? I don’t give a fuck if it’s an awareness month, I’m still just as suicidal as I was in August.
#tw depressing thoughts#tw vent#vent blog#bpd vent#bpd#actually bpd#cw depression#self h@rm#self destruction#tw self destructive behavior#tw sui talk#tw su1cide#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sucidal ideation#bpd feels#bpd mood#tw bpd vent#mentally fucked
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my arms are already covered in scars. i’m already fucking repulsive. no one will ever fucking love me anyway. why shouldn’t i mutilate every inch of my skin
#tw s3lf harm#s3lfharmm#s3lf mutilation#tw su1cide#su1c1dal#tw depressing thoughts#tw self destructive thoughts#tw self destructive behavior
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hiii I came across your blog and fell in love with your yandere illumi posts!! <3 can I ask how you think it’d be like if reader actually WAS pregnant and forced to carry the child to term?? if ur comfy ofc!!
ahhh thank you!!
tw// unwanted/forced pregnancy, implied noncon, reader depression, reader su1c1de attempts. this is SAD. just SAD. minimum comfort from this. also you have a baby and you don’t like it
this is the worst possible outcome
i try and kinda base reader off of how i would react in that situation, and my reaction would be BADDDD.
the second you realise that you’re pregnant you’re already making plans to throw yourself off the nearest balcony or down the steepest stairs in the manor. unfortunately, illumi is going to account for this. he’ll probably realise you’re pregnant before you even do, and soon enough the whole manor will be “baby proofed”.
there’s going to be butlers following you every step of the way, anything sharp is taken from bathrooms or your bedroom, even illumi has started to cut your food up for you. it’s extremely demeaning and only settles to make things worse.
you’ll start growing quiet as the pregnancy progresses, first out of spite and then out of genuine sadness. as far as you think, you’re truly just a womb to illumi and his family.
illumi will notice how depressed you’ve gotten, but he’s not exactly a comforting person. he’ll monotonously give you compliments, silently hand you bouquets of flowers, and tell the butlers to prepare your favourite foods as though any of those things are what you want.
occasionally, if his worry starts to grow, he’ll allow you outside into the garden for a couple of hours. he’ll even arrange a little allotment for you to plant your own. you might not even like flowers, or gardening, but the distraction is nice. if not, you can still wander the grounds, as though it can give you some illusion of freedom. it doesn’t.
illumi tells you that during your visits to the garden you’re truly on your own; no guards, no butlers, no maids, and none of his family watching. it’s not necessarily true. he’ll be behind you every step of the way, hidden in plain sight. he once believed you’d start appearing happy when no one was around, proving that it’s all a rouse and that you’re fine. he quickly discovered it wasn’t fake when the first time he watched you in the garden you found a bench and cried on it the entire time.
he starts to convince himself that when you give birth to his child you’ll recover, and you’ll love them and feel less lonely.
you don’t.
the birthing is messy, probably due to your stress, and it’s the first time anyone in the manor has seen illumi so nervous. it may not be obvious to you, but to those who have known him his entire life, it is.
you don’t love your baby. sometimes you can’t bring yourself to even look at it. you know that illumi and his family are going to be training it to be as bloodthirsty and murderous as them, so you tell yourself that there’s no point in even bothering trying to grow close with it.
in all honesty, you’re in for a fucking awful time. illumi might get irritated with your lack of love for your child. he might think another will make you feel less lonely. only when you stop talking and stop reacting entirely does he realise that he truly has broken you.
i don’t really enjoy writing about reader having kids because it would be my worst nightmare. literally horrifying. that’s why illumi is so damn scary, he’s having a child whether you like it or not.
if you do manage to get rid of it before you give birth, illumi is going to be fucking pissed. expect yourself to be taken into the basement for a week, at the minimum.
best case scenario for this is that reader can’t have kids. fuck this shit.
i could potentially see illumi turning away from his family and their insistence for him to have a bunch of kids, but only if your pregnancy was that bad. if you almost died during childbirth, i could imagine him being extremely shaken up about it, and may not want to see you that way again. that a very big if, though.
#tw yandere#tw.yandere#yandere#yanderecore#yandere hxh#yandere illumi zoldyck x reader#yandere illumi x reader#yandere illumi zoldyck#yandere illumi#tw noncon#tw pregnancy#tw unwanted pregnancy#tw forced pregnancy#tw forced marriage#tw: noncon#tw suicide#tw suicide attempts#tw su1cide#tw childbirth
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Hello, Ron DeSantis, it has come to my attention that you've put the lives of several trans individuals in peril, particularly minors, by restricting their access to safely get hrt. Because of this there has been a rise in suicide rates amongst trans kids. Here in this cage in front of you is a transgender teenager that's at the end of their rope with a gun, if they die, you also die.
You have two options, you either talk a trans kid out of suicide by reinstating trans friendly laws for minors and adults, or you die from a bullet to your head.
As you can see, you also have a lie detector test attached to you, if the test indicates that you're lying about reinstating trans friendly laws, you'll die like every other trans kids that you've killed.
Whoevers blood will be spilled is up to you.
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tw: suicide (non-graphic)
Azula, 18, in the asylum, sadly takes her life on the day of her release bc the past 15 years have been horribly wrong and she has absolutely no one left.
She wakes up in another time and... my point is she gets adopted by Lin Beyfong x Kya II. Just two lesbians adopting a lil lesbo.
I know. But just in case anyone wsnts to fic this or make art on it
Its also possible without the sad part but yeah
Cool blog love your blog your blogs nice pal have a good one!
Thanks for the ask!!
😭
Azula being adopted by Lin and Kya is so cute. She doesn’t have to worry about being the perfect princess or the best firebender because she gets to be a normal kid and worry about normal kid stuff. If Kya is her mom though then I headcanon she’s a lot better at flirting.
Some extra headcanons
1. There are pictures of Azula covered in lesbian merch after she came out. Lin and Kya bought everything they could find.
2. When she gets her first crush, Kya has to laugh because she’s even more of a gay mess than Lin was.
3. Azula defends her mother (Lin) to her grandmother and aunt and her mom (Kya) to her uncles.
4. Azula is a little younger than the four main members of Team Avatra but still helps out however she can.
5. Lin is fiercely protective of her and Azula learns to sneak out when her mom is at the house.
6. During Amon’s attack, Lin sent Azula and Kya away. Kya kept a brave face for Azula but worried about her wife the entire time.
7. Azula looks more Fire Nation than Water Tribe or Earth Kingdom. This has gotten her more than a few comments from classmates.
Thanks!!! Hope you have a good day yourself!
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‼️‼️TW: Suicide mention‼️‼️
If I see one more tiktok talking abt the Rise boys committing/attempting without a SINGULAR TW I’m actually gonna delete the app/srs
Like yeah I get it, I’m literally in the middle of writing BS Mikey’s ‘played w fire and now stuck in hell’ arc, but Christ its over half of my rottmnt feed atp and there’s not a single warning anywhereeeee 💀 please find ways to cope wo triggering others thank youuuuu 🙏💥💥💥
#I’ve already cut off Twitter from my life and I’m not afraid to do it again#I’m sorry if this applies to you but like srsly#tw su1cide#tw vent#tw tiktok#khaotic#tw suicide#tw suicide mention
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Selen Tatsuki and the Dangers of Corporate Mismanagement
Before the announcement, the community was divided into two groups.
One side consisted of Dragoons (Selen's fanbase) and other pro-Selen fans who just wanted to have any update on Selen's status regardless of what the outcome may be, campaigning #WhereIsSelen across Twitter/X.
The other side consisted of anti-NijiEN fans who would holler about Nijisanji EN and ANYCOLOR being a black company that treats their talents like shit and only cares about their own greed and reputation.
These two sides would argue about the speculation behind Selen's weeks of disappearance following the removal of the "Last Cup of Coffee" cover song by NijiEN management.
Then, on February 5th 2024, the dreaded white document was posted... and the internet exploded in rage.
Link to the full document here.
We could go through all the different warning signs and the timeline of events that led to this announcement, but I guarantee other people on the internet have that covered. If you decided to read this rant, I'm 90% sure it's because you've heard about Selen Tatsuki's controversial termination from other sources.
Instead, I want to reflect on Selen's situation in a corporate company and how that affected her mental health... citing some of my own personal experiences as well.
DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional or a professional of anything. I'm a random succubus on the internet with an opinion and experience, so take it however you wish. This is just reflection and personal speculation.
TW: mentions of harassment, depression, and thoughts of suicide. Reader discretion is advised.
My Background
I am a vtuber (or rather, PNGtuber), but not a corporate vtuber. However, I work for a corporate company in my IRL job in a 9-to-5 office setting. I started as an intern, came back to work with them after graduating university, got laid off after 6 months because of interest rates and over-hiring, and was brought back 2 months later in a different role to help them with demand.
Despite not working for a corporate vtuber company, I think it can be agreed upon that corporate is corporate no matter the industry, at least at the very core of their operations. Corporations are just large companies at the end of the day.
The reason I wanted to make this post is that, from one corporate worker to another, I 100% understand why Selen did what she did and feel that I am still facing a similar situation.
I may not have been a Dragoon, but I have always admired how she interacted with her community and created so many fun events for everyone to enjoy. Even though she wasn't my Oshi, I was deeply concerned about Selen's well-being.
And while I believed you couldn't trust Nijisanji EN any further than you could throw them, I was waiting to see how it would turn out. Because there was no way Selen, one of the Vtuber community's most beloved gamers and content creators, would stay missing in action forever. It wouldn't be long before Nijisanji EN would make their move.
Selen's Termination
Again, here's the link to the white document that set the internet ablaze.
I want to make one slightly controversial take here before we break it down... what Selen did is within grounds for termination.
Listen! Before the pitchforks are brought out, I'm not saying that Nijisanji EN should have fired Selen the way they did. There was sooo much they could have done to avoid this outcome that they clearly neglected to consider. But knowing how corporate jobs operate, or honestly, how any job or role operates, Selen clearly failed to follow Nijisanji protocol. She essentially went rogue.
We won't be analyzing the document word for word. Please read the full termination announcement by Nijisanji EN if you haven't already.
Instead, we're going to be analyzing key parts of the termination announcement by Nijisanji EN that I feel need further discussion.
Selen's Permissions
One thing I've noticed many people confused about is why Nijisanji EN removed the Last Cup of Coffee cover when there is evidence of Selen having permission long before posting it.
Selen "Last Cup of Coffee" After Party Stream clip, from FalseEyeD's video
LilyPichu's tweet confirming Selen had permission since August 2022
Artist who worked with Selen, Madi/@weeniedesu, shares how Selen paid her back personally when Nijisanji EN never got around to it
Selen got permissions from the creator and producer of the song. She got permissions from the artists that she commissioned. She took care of anything that could have been copyrighted, so why is Nijisanji saying she didn't check all the boxes for approval?
There's only one possibility. She never got approval from management.
Because if you work for a corporate company, you need to get approval from supervisors before ANYTHING goes out. Large companies have a reputation to keep, and if something goes out without supervisors getting a chance to review it... it could be bad shit. Maybe it's information that isn't supposed to be leaked; maybe it's an offensive joke; maybe it's as simple as a typo. The list goes on.
However, if their management is as awful as we think it is, I doubt Nijisanji EN even follows their own protocol.
The process of getting checks and approvals from other parties is always going to be longer than doing everything yourself. With good management, this is usually not a problem. But with bad management... this is a nightmare.
Personal Story Time!
When I came back from being laid off, I had new job requirements, a new role, and a new supervisor. As a person, I actually like my supervisor. She is very creative, knows what steps need to be taken for the company, and we have similar attitudes and humor. Unfortunately, this does not translate to how she manages a team.
My main issue with my manager is that she does not take the time or show interest in my work. She runs around like she's a chicken with her head cut off, will bury herself in her office and demand team members not interrupt her physically or virtually unless it's urgent, and will only speak to you if she needs something from you without really checking in on you.
Forgive me, for I am still young, but growing up, I was always under the impression that it was a supervisor's job to check in on their team and set them up for success. With this environment that I still find myself in, I'll be honest... I don't really feel supported at all.
I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around my supervisor and can only contact her whenever a 5-minute happy hour presents itself. I have work that needs to be done within a day, sometimes a week for bigger projects, but I struggle to get my supervisor's attention because my work is less crucial than that of some of my teammates. I often feel like the only way to get attention for the work I need to do is if I kick down the door and shove a printed copy in her face. Even so, that very rarely guarantees anything gets done in time that clients expect it to.
I understand that supervisors in high leadership positions don't always have a lot of time. Because of that, I was told that it was my responsibility to go to them when I have problems or stuff that needs done.
And yes, I should be more assertive about my work. Everyone should go to supervisors for situations that they need help with.
But if supervisors don't make that easy for you to do, what is the point?
Story time is over! Back to Selen!
Given my experience, I can understand how Selen feels. For a cover song of this scale, it must have taken months... maybe even a year—for it to be created in the first place. So the fact that Nijisanji EN management claims they first saw the video on December 24th is very concerning.
If this statement is true, then that means that they didn't do their job of checking in with Selen on the progress of this cover project. Or worse, Selen didn't trust them to work with her on releasing the cover song on time, so she took matters into her own hands.
Either way, it shows little to no support from Nijisanji EN management on an important project and reveals a damaged relationship between the two parties.
Honestly, I don't blame Selen. Yes, she did break company protocol, and it is a fire-able offense. But if her management was anything like mine, I would have done the same thing. Hell, I shouldn't be saying this, but I have done the same thing to a lesser degree. (It is rule-breaking, but not illegal. Best if I don't go into detail.)
But if Selen's management is as hard to get in contact with as my supervisor, how the hell does ANYTHING get done? Companies need to conduct business. But how can business be done if employees cannot progress due to management delays?
If they're not going to take the time to work with their employees to get proper permissions on time for upcoming projects ON TIME, I don't think they should be surprised at how things turned out.
Selen's Harassment
The worst part of this announcement is the blatant disregard for Selen's side and point of view on behalf of Nijisanji EN management.
"She claimed that she was no longer able to engage in her activities as a Liver due to the decisions made by ANYCOLOR, was being harassed by other affiliated Livers due to mismanagement, etc., while refusing to acknowledge her responsibility for violating the Activity Rules."
This sentence sticks out to so many people, especially the second part of it. But both parts are important because of Nijisanji EN's response.
We will get to that in a moment.
But let's focus on the claims Selen makes here:
"She claimed that she was no longer able to engage in her activities as a Liver due to the decisions made by ANYCOLOR."
This ties in to what we talked about earlier with the lack of support from management. Selen's claim expressed that she could not move forward with what she wanted to do because of the barriers to ANYCOLOR's decisions. Her feelings here make sense, given how it isn't the first time that her plans have been prevented by management.
More importantly, though, Selen also claims she
"was being harassed by other affiliated Livers due to mismanagement."
While many people want to know who these livers are—believe me, I'm curious as well—I want to know something else. If one of your talents is claiming there is harassment within your company, why aren't you investigating this?
Harassment is not something to be taken lightly or brushed off as an inconvenience. If your employee feels unsafe working at your company, I think it's worth taking a step back to try and understand where that employee is coming from, regardless of whether you think it's true or not.
So how do Nijisanji EN management and ANYCOLOR respond?
"ANYCOLOR believes that the claims raised by Selen Tatsuki are in fact referring to situations that arose when she was warned about her breaches of the Activity Rules and attempts to shift the responsibility for these violations, damaging ANYCOLOR and NIJISANJI EN's image. This led to the deterioration of the relationship between her, ANYCOLOR, and other Livers affiliated with ANYCOLOR. ANYCOLOR firmly believes that we and other Livers under our affiliation have not engaged in unjust practices towards Selen Tatsuki."
So instead of listening to her concerns, they brush off her claims as Selen crying wolf and blame her for making Nijisanji EN look bad.
HELLO???
I'm honestly not sure why I'm surprised by this blatant disregard for human emotion by a greedy corporate company. They clearly decided they didn't want to take the time to understand how badly Selen was hurting from their decisions.
And why would they? Especially when they clearly see her as bad trouble ruining their precious image.
However, they were aware that all of the stress from their company landed their employee in the hospital. So now, let's talk about the heaviest part of this story.
Selen's Attempt
TW: mentions of depression, and thoughts of su1cide. Please skip this portion (by finding the next smiling Selen screenshot) if you are not in a good mind to be reading about this!
Let's go back to Christmas... or rather, a few days after.
After the removal of "Last Cup of Coffee" from her channel, Selen stayed eerily silent. It was unusual for her to skip streams, especially collab streams, without notifying her followers. But given what just happened, it was very likely she was upset.
From her official Twitter/X account, only two tweets were created after Christmas. Whether she tweeted it or Nijisanji EN tweeted it, it only slightly matters to me. The fact of the matter is this: the events described in those tweets are true.
"I apologize for the silence. I've been in the hospital after an accident and will be staying there for a few days to be under supervision. I just got back access to my phone yesterday."
As soon as I read this tweet, my heart sank. Selen just had a negative incident at her company, where she had lost so much both financially and mentally. What part of "I've been in the hospital after an accident" makes anyone feel calm?
And the worst part... "an accident." Not a car accident, not a fist fight, just... an accident.
(In hindsight, the quasi-vague wording fits Nijisanji's modus operandi perfectly. It's specific enough to indicate something had happened, but not specific enough to indicate what that event was.)
But saying something is an accident... that's an easy cop-out for saying that someone attempted and survived... I think.
At least, it made the most sense to me at the time. Selen just lost $15,000 on a passion project that had a single unmovable barrier in it's way. Regardless of whether she is financially well-off or not, that's an enormous amount for anyone to lose in a day. If she had decided to attempt after something like that, I honestly wouldn't blame her in the slightest.
But the part of it that really had me suspicious that this was an attempt was that she was under supervision and "I just got back access to my phone yesterday."
This part is going to get a little personal here...
As someone with major depressive disorder, crippling anxiety, and suicidal ideations, I've found myself in inpatient care before. For those unaware, an inpatient is someone who stays in a hospital while under medical treatment. They receive lodging, food, and medicine to help them through whatever they are going through. It's the easiest way for someone to receive medication while also being watched closely to see if any changes to their health occur.
My reason for being inpatient is a bit personal. But at the very least, I was in an unstoppable depressive fit of constant crying where I couldn't even answer the simplest questions and didn't know what to do to stop crying.
As I was taken to the inpatient facility, saying goodbye to my mother, stripped of all my belongings (including clothes), and told I needed to sleep in a thin bed with nothing but a hospital gown on... the impact of my new reality away from the rest of the outside world terrified me and made me more depressed.
So, when Selen said she was under supervision and had her phone taken away... it instantly reminded me of what I experienced in the inpatient unit. I had my phone taken away, I had others think I was going to harm myself, I was allowed 1 hour of visitation at a specific hour every day where my emergency contact came to sit and talk with me, and the supervision was still very strict, with night guards poking a flashlight through your door to make sure you didn't do anything at night.
That's all I'm going to say about my experience.
Naturally, given what I had experienced, it didn't seem unreasonable to me that Selen's accident could have been a serious attempt on taking her life.
And who knows how long she had to fight to keep her sanity working as a corporate vtuber for Nijisanji EN? The job is stressful enough whether management is good or bad. But if the management is bad and stays bad for a long time with no improvements, patience can run out very quickly. One bad day can snowball into an avalanche.
For Selen, I imagined the pressure was becoming too much to handle. This heartfelt cover song could have been the breaking point that pushed her over the edge.
But, at that time, there was no proof.
So I stayed quiet, because people suggesting this narrative were getting flamed online for saying it. And honestly, with no confirmation at that point, it would probably inspire fear in a lot of Dragoons. It would cause them to assume the worst.
However, I said this at the beginning. The events described in her final tweets as Selen Tatsuki are true.
Confirmed by a little birdie.
"I will not be silenced anymore. On Dec, I was hospitalized for an attempt that was caused by a built up of bullying from within & being in a toxic & poor environment for numerous months that lead to my breaking point. I requested to leave first but on more neutral terms on 26th Jan."
This tweet is courtesy of Selen's previous life before joining Nijisanji EN, and is where she is now. Dokibird tweeted this not long after the announcement dropped, fully prepared with her statement.
It broke my heart knowing that what I had suspected was indeed true. For someone so talented to be going through so much turmoil, it would have been the biggest tragedy in vtubing history if we were to lose her in the worst way possible.
But, at the end of it all, I'm so glad to know she is alive, well, and will continue to move forward with more support than she ever expected.
It is the end of Selen Tatsuki's journey, but the beginning of Dokibird's next chapter.
Selen's Legacy
With the scarier stuff out of the way, I want to mention one last thing that irritated me about Selen's termination.
Nijisanji EN did not value Selen as much as they should have.
Yes, terminations are looked at a lot less positively than graduations. But to only do the bare minimum of acknowledging Selen's achievements with the company??
"Since becoming a part of NIJISANJI EN in July 2021, Selen Tatsuki has undeniably played a significant part in the growth of NIJISANJI EN. We fully understand that our decision to terminate the contract will have a significant impact on Selen Tatsuki's fans and supporters of NIJISANJI EN."
That's it. That's the only positive thing they had to say about her in the whole 3 page document.
She has hosted multiple tournaments, introduced the company to VR chat entertainment with AR Live events, commissioned lofi covers of all the Nijisanji EN Debut songs, connected bridges from other top vtuber agencies that seemed impossible, and is overall a fun entertainer with an infectious laugh and smile.
The fact that all she has done for the company is just summed up in 1-2 sentences is unforgivable.
And again, I understand that this is a termination, not a graduation. Terminations are for firing "problematic" people, not honoring their accomplishments. But only two sentences that vaguely acknowledge she made an impact as Nijisanji EN grew?
She deserves so much better than that.
While this does not cover everything that she has done for her community, especially as of recent, I recommend watching The Selen Tatsuki Experience, made for her 2021 birthday by devoted fans and clippers.
youtube
And here is a fan project for her birthday in 2022 showcasing the Top 15 Selen Tatsuki Streams.
youtube
While these are the videos that first come to my mind, there's so much Selen content out in the wild, even if her channel has been wiped by Nijisanji EN. So many memories, clips, fun experiences, and moments that will never be forgotten by her community and beyond.
If you have any you want to add to this, feel free to do so. I know the Dragoons can say so much more about her than I ever can, and I'm ashamed that I don't have more moments to add.
No matter where she goes or what she does, Selen will always have the support from every person she touched and inspired.
But it's time we thank Selen for all that she brought us and say goodbye.
Because now that this part of her life is over, it's time to move on to newer pastures and new beginnings. Because that is what Selen would want.
Or rather, it is what Dokibird wants.
youtube
Dokibird - YouTube Channel
dokibird - Twitch Channel
@dokibird - Twitter account
dokidoggu - Etsy
Final Thoughts
As I read back through everything I wrote, (which holy shit, it is a lot more than I expected; I think I really just needed to get this out of my system more than anything else), the more it makes me realize that Selen is not alone.
She never will be alone again. But I mean it a bit differently.
Selen is not the only one who has lived through corporate mismanagement. Far from it. Following her situation had made me realize just how similar my situation is to hers.
Following management that does not care about the employees enough to set them up for success. The depression that follows where you feel like you're gasping for air trying to make it through every day. Staying in bed late because waking up and going to a toxic work environment is too much.
This isn't a blanket statement of "all corporate companies are bad." That was never the point of this post. And, there are plenty of good corporations who will work with their employees and look out for their well-being. Even other corporate vtuber agencies do this!
However, I think it goes to show that corporate mismanagement can easily torture someone who feels trapped by decisions out of their control.
You can blame the employee all you want by saying "It's a corporate company! You should know that you have to follow the rules even if you disagree with them." But it isn't always that easy.
Sometimes, rules change. And once you are a part of a company, it isn't always easy to just quit and move on. Some people can't afford to do that.
I wish I had some kind of lesson I could leave behind related to all of this. Something like "Watch Out For These Warning Signs Of Mismanagement!"
But, I'm still working for a corporate company as my day job. I can't really leave until I find a new job or get fired.
So what can I tell you?
Selen's situation has motivated me to work harder to find a better work environment.
I've worked for this corporate company for a while now. It started as something I enjoyed because I was given more creativity and feedback on projects than previous positions. But it's not like that anymore.
No job is worth giving your life over.
And if Nijisanji EN management doesn't realize how messed up it can be working for them, and aren't willing to change for the good of their talents... they aren't worth a single cent.
Your happiness > Your job
If you managed to make it through all +3,000 words of ranting, I hope you find your own happiness. Thank you for taking the time to read all the way through.
I wish Dokibird nothing but the best as she kicks off this new chapter in her story.
As for Nijisanji EN, I hope they learned their lesson. If they keep their management the way it is, there will be more instances like this to the point where eventually no one will want to work with them anymore.
I have stayed up till 2am writing so I could say all I wanted to say. I should get at least 5 hours of rest before I have to wake up and go to my corporate IRL job. Hopefully, this year I'll be able to move on to a more promising environment in the not too distant future.
Thank you once again for reading, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day! 💜
#nijisanji en#nijien#nijisanji#anycolor#selen tatsuki#dokibird#vtuber#sink the yacht#corporate vtuber#corporate greed#workplace#industry#harrassment#depression#anxiety#pressure#tw su1cide#mismanagement#selen deserved better#Youtube
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Alastor is not confirmed aromantic. But he is also not confirmed to not be aromantic.
So here's what I propose.
Ship Alastor, or don't, but respect others opinions.
Shippers, Alastor may not be confirmed to be aromantic, but he is very much aroace coded, so don't go around "correcting" people who just see themselves in him. You know how hard representation is to come by. Let them have this.
And non shippers, don't harrass shippers. As far as I know most of you all weren't doing that anyways, but we all know about the kid who offed himself because he was harrassed for shipping radiodust. It's not worth it.
Now, as always, this is just my opinion. I am but a more lesbian who keeps Alastor on the aroace spectrum anyways.
Just remember to be kind.
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I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die
#borderline personality disorder#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw su1cide#bpd feels#bpd stuff#bpd problems#bpd vent
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Are we gonna talk about the fact that the way his Spector manifested probably means Pluto committed suicide?
#tw su1cide#tw self h4rm#he definitely gives me mentally ill queer kid raised in an oppressive religious household vibes#i cant believe no one in the *comic* points this out#needs to be wrapped in warm blankets and given hot chocolate#nevermore webcomic#pluto nevermore#nevermore
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TW: death, Su!cide, stabbing, blood, body horror
A concept ending for the AU, heavily inspired by the Jekyll and Hyde musical!
#tw body horror#tw su1cide#tw blood#tw stabbing#peppino#pizza tower#pizza tower au#jekyll and hyde#pizza tower monster au#fanart#bruno pizza tower#my silly thoughts#pizza tower art#gustavo
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Kill yourself proshipper, you're disgusting
#tw su1cide#proship#proship please interact#proshipper#anti anti#anti harassment#antis dni#pro fiction#profic#proshipping#su1c1d3#su1cide#proshippers please interact#antis do not interact#tw: harrasment#harrassment#suiside#tw suiside
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ik i cut myself with scissors out of frustration last week but i think i want to relapse properly. like just fully go back to cutting everyday. being in constant stinging agony. having cuts scab and reopen and bleed through my clothes. i want to be suffering. so much that i can barely move. i need desperately to be in so much pain that i just fucking die.
#s3lf harn#s3lfharmm#s3lf mutilation#tw s3lf harm#cutt1ng#tw self destruction#tw su1cide#su1c1d4l#tw depressing thoughts#tw self destructive behavior
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Charlotte Dawson, 47 (Australia 2014)
To an outsider, it might have seemed like Charlotte Dawson had it all. She was a judge on Australia’s Next Top Model and hosted the boxing reality show The Contender Australia and Getaway in New Zealand. Her career was widely known and she was admired by many.
But Charlotte was struggling. She suffered from severe depression for years before finally revealing the cause of her suffering in her autobiography.
In 1999, Charlotte married Scott Miller, an Olympic athlete. Sometime in the few short months that they were married, Charlotte became pregnant.
Charlotte’s autobiography Air Kiss & Tell documented the trauma she suffered from the abortion. She had been so excited at first to realize she was pregnant. “I knew I was pregnant; I didn’t have to have the test, I could just feel it. It was the most brilliant but terrifying feeling and the test did, as expected, confirm it… We were going to have a baby. I was actually going to be a mother. If there had been room to have butterflies in my stomach, I figure I could have managed that as well, such was my ability to multi-task.”
But when Charlotte told Scott the happy news, he became upset. The baby’s due date was close to the Summer Olympics and Scott considered his child a distraction. Charlotte wrote, “Inside I was in total turmoil. I wanted the baby. How long would we have to wait? Were there even any guarantees that I would fall pregnant again? Of course, I accepted without question that the Olympics was Scott’s number-one priority — I had been told that by him and a number of other interested and invested parties.”
Charlotte didn’t want to have an abortion, but others in her life pressured her into it. She was fed the lie that she needed to give up her baby for her husband’s career. This was the lie that killed Charlotte’s baby and sent Charlotte into depression. Demoralized, frustrated and scared, dhe underwent the abortion that her husband wanted her to have. After the abortion, she had her first experience with something that would never leave her: depression.
“I wanted our baby, but I felt greedy, like I already had too much, that the termination was a compromise I should make… When I got home, I felt that something had changed. I felt a shift. Maybe it was hormonal, but I felt the early tinges of what I can now identify as my first experience with depression… I should have bought a couch especially for the depression bogeyman right then and there. If I had known he was going to visit so often, I would have at least have had somewhere for him to sit, the bastard.”
Charlotte’s reluctant sacrifice of her only child for the sake of her husband’s Olympic career was for nothing. Miller was doping to enhance his performance and was allegedly caught cheating on Charlotte with a swimmer. He didn’t even make the team for the Sydney Olympics. The two of them got divorced only a few months after they were married, leaving Charlotte alone to grieve.
Her depression never left. Charlotte wrote about numbing the emotional pain with alcohol and trying to cope with her trauma: “I was just a depressed mess… I was single, damaged and miserable.”
As her mental health continued to decline, Charlotte struggled. She was repeatedly hospitalized, suffered from panic attacks, was eventually fired from her roles in TV. The management company Chic Management parted ways with her, saying her battles with mental illness were ‘damaging her brand’. Charlotte attempted suicide in 2012, but survived this attempt.
Charlotte worked against bullying and helped raise money for children’s charities. She was cyberbullied after joining anti-bullying campaign Community Brave, but continued her work. She mentored younger models, and at least one of them thought of her as a second mother. She was open about her depression diagnosis and tried to raise awareness about mental illness. But after years of suffering, her depression was unbearably painful.
On February 21, Charlotte saw some friends. Pictures posted on the internet showed a seemingly lovely day, but the friends stated that Charlotte was in a terrible mental state. That was the last time they saw her alive.
On February 22, 2014, a real estate agent from the company Morton and Morton found her body. She had committed suicide.
While media covered Charlotte’s death, many sources ignored the role that abortion played in her depression and suicide.
"Charlotte Dawson: I gave up my baby for my husband" The Australian Women's Weekly. 26 September 2012
https://people.com/celebrity/charlotte-dawson-australias-next-top-model-judge-found-dead/
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/celebrity/charlotte-dawson-found-dead-20140222-338j6.html
https://www.news.com.au/charlotte-dawson-found-dead-after-long-and-public-battle-with-depression/news-story/4d3f4302f5fad49af82ffab4b90e6e8e
#tw abortion#tw su1cide#tw sui#tw sui attempt#unsafe yet legal#tw ab*rtion#tw murder#abortion debate#abortion#mental health#pro life#death from legal abortion#charlotte dawson
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TW: Domestic Abuse, Su!c!de, Depression
The scene where Catherine beats Vincent to a pulp while Vincent is just taking it passively is really sad. Not only for the fact that he is getting abused brutally and nobody in the bar cares, but also how he just stands there, letting her possibly beat him to death. Vincent could've defended himself, fought back, called 911, asked for help, or ran away. This implies that Vincent hates himself enough to think that he should die or at least be beaten to the point of serious injury.
And I think this is a good representation of how much Vincent hates himself and thinks of himself as a terrible person. It makes me wish even more that Rin was there to comfort him after this and reassure him that despite his mistakes, he is not a bad person and he does not deserve to go through all the suffering he has been going through up to that point. The poor man had his life turned upside down by a batshit woman taking advantage of him while he was hungover and while he shouldn't have drank so much, that didn't mean he deserved to get put in the situation he was put under. And yet, he completely blames himself for all that has happened to him when in reality, he was only partially at fault. Catherine gaslit him, by beating him for breaking up with her and seducing and grooming him while he was hungover and because of his lost memories, thinks he's cheating.
And also please do not compare this to the scene where Jonny punches Vincent, they are NOT the same thing. Yes, they are both assault, but Jonny's assault was simple assault while Catherine is basically corporal injury and possibly could've killed him if she wasn't a succubus.
Some people may see this as Black Comedy but I really don't see the humor in this scene. It feels way too much like a realistic portrayal of domestic abuse and suicide by cop to even be seen as humorous. It's not even goofy like a scene where a tsundere attacks their partner.
#fuck all the people that think he deserved this#i just wanted to pull kitty out of the screen and hug him tight#and give him tea#and tell him how worthy he really is and that everything that happened to him is not totally his fault#even when I used to hate Vincent#I still felt so bad for him in this scene#catherine full body#catherine game#vincent brooks#tw su1cide#tw abuse#tw depression
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