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#shitty saw traps
shittysawtraps · 2 days ago
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hello, niece.
a few months ago, you came out as a genderfluid lesbian to us, your family. i do not want to play a game. i would like to show you my unconditional support and respect. i am extremely proud of you.
in five minutes, this room will flood with darkness. it is time for bed. i love you, and i am here for you always. goodnight.
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paradigmdreamspace · 24 days ago
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Mr Musk, I'd like to play a game.
For months you've threatened to buy Twitter
Now, 44 Billion dollars poorer, you own it, only to find it is filled with bots and the worst takes on the planet
I'm going to give you a choice.
Hold on to Twitter and watch the money slowly drain from your account as you try to reform a platform filled with children and adults with the mental acuity of children
Or
Sell the platform at a huge loss like Yahoo did to Tumblr so many years ago
No matter what decision you make with regards to the platform, whether charging for Verification or making a more robust setting for free speech, the people who support you most will spout slurs, conservative propaganda, and conspiracy theories, making the platform undesirable for advertising, while those who dislike you will antagonize the platform and those who support it, making the platform undesirable for advertising.
Do you hold on to your pride while you try to charge continuously smaller amounts in a desperate attempt to make Verification monetized? Or do you accept defeat and sell it to the lowest bidder?
The choice is yours.
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jevilspamton · a year ago
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-jigsaw voice- hello, zach. you have had a history of shutting down neurodivergent people with innocent interests and being ableist. in front of you is a laptop with a prerecorded video of your friend infodumping to the camera about webkinz. if the device planted in your skull detects an abnormal increase of negative or hateful thoughts in your brain, the restraints around your arms and legs will grow tighter and tighter per each detected thought until your bones break. will you fall prey to your own oppressive outlook on those who are different from you? or will you thoughtfully listen to daniel talk about dr mayor quack's history? the choice is yours.
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shittysawtraps · 9 hours ago
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this bot that auto generates messages has said this twice now. is this a good saw trap?
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saw trap: unexplained anxiety
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shittysawtraps · 13 hours ago
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Hello Matthew, you claim to be strong and like to flex in front of your coworkers when talking about your gym routine. In front of you is a jar of pickles. Please open them for me :(
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shittysawtraps · a day ago
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Hello Random Person,
Due to budget cuts, we cannot afford Dungeons&Dragons. Instead, you must choose one Dungeon, or one Dragon.
One will kill you, the other will also probably kill you. Honestly I don't know at this point, like I said, budget is low.
Good luck
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shittysawtraps · a day ago
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Hello.
You might be wondering why I'm here. Well, I tried to test out this trap before i used it on you and..
Yeah, uh, I'm stuck.
Could you, y'know, give me a hand? There's a button right over there that should let me-
Hey, where are you going?
Hey!
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shittysawtraps · a day ago
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Hello, Arthur. We have glued your hands to your butt. You have 30 years to un-glue them and kill the walking VR headset.
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shittysawtraps · 17 hours ago
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Hello, waiter.
Some weeks ago, you served me a rather bland meal, and I must admit I expected better from you.
In front of you are two rather large bowls of soup. One has been made with absolutely no seasoning whatsoever. The other has been rendered absolutely inedible with excessive amounts of black pepper, like what I had to do to my soup all those days ago.
Suffer through a gallon of bland cream and potatoes or sneeze to death on a pound of pepper, the choice is yours.
And a 20% gratuity is included in your bill.
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shittysawtraps · 2 days ago
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hello driver.
you pulled out in front of my loved one while they had like six teenagers in the car and were on the way to homecoming.
you are tasked with figuring out time travel in order to fix it, and you have nothing to do it with. if you fail, you must buy her a green bug car with daisy hubcaps, pay for another homecoming party, and will only be allowed to listen to girl in red's "we fell in love in october" for the rest of your life, no country music for you.
the parent that wouldn't take her friend to the hospital is also there. bonus points if you punch them in the face.
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shittysawtraps · 10 hours ago
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Hello Billy
In front of you is a floor made of lava. You have 5 minutes to- aaaagghhhh, a Kamehameha, my only weakness! We shall meet again Billy, but next time I'll wear my anti-kamehameha forcefield!
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shittysawtraps · 2 days ago
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I don't think I'm supposed to be here.
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shittysawtraps · 2 months ago
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hello character playlist maker. i want to play a game. you must make a 20 song character playlist for any character of your choosing. but if you use any song by Mother Mother or Lemon Demon, the computer will explode. you have 30 minutes. make your choice.
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shittysawtraps · 3 months ago
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*35 minutes of silence*
*jigsaw voice* Ohhhhmygod ahaha you’re not gonna believe it, I forgot to press the button on the speaker. I’ve been explaining the game for like, twenty minutes, wondering why you weren’t doing anything. Well, you have ten minutes left. Uh sorry about that.
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shittysawtraps · a year ago
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hey kid. i know this lab is scary, but the punishment isn't for you. i've got a guy coming in who likes ben shapiro. i know, right? anyway, all i need you to do is explain your gender identity to him in detail. don't worry, he'll be bound and gagged. you can leave once you're done i just needed some help.
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shittysawtraps · 9 months ago
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Hello Samantha. For years, you and your friend group have used the excuse of "when is this math going to be useful in real life? It's not like someone's going to hold a gun to our head and make us find x." Guess what.
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