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thehighladywrites · 3 months

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- “if it is so wrong, why does it feel so good?”

pairing: stalker/perv!azriel x reader, nesta, elain and feyre mentioned

summary: stalking and perving is azriel’s favorite activities. What happens when you finally drop the oblivious mask and confront him

warnings: dark content, stalking, perving (on literally everyone), breaking and entering, stealing panties, az having a darker side, getting turned on by your fear, az eating you out, reader being bold and hot as fuck omg,

amara’s note: okay this is very short bc it’s my first time writing a dark fic. Also i hope you like it and pls read the warnings.

Azriel knows he is some sort of sick freak. He knows he should resist his sinful glances at Feyre when she's cozied up on Rhysand's lap. He flexes a little extra just to spark Nesta's desires, fully aware of her fantasies. And as for Elain, well, let's just say he's playing a forbidden game of spying while she bends over to plant her greens.

Azriel's is extremely aware he shouldn't be harboring forbidden desires or indulging in the secret pleasure of stalking someone as seemingly innocent as yourself.

Azriel, the ultimate mastermind, keeps everyone guessing. Who would suspect the quiet, brooding and publicly respected spymaster to be a closeted perv and sick stalker? It's his most guarded secret hidden beneath the intimidating exterior.

Little does Azriel know, you're fully aware of his perverse behavior—his wandering eyes and spying shadows. It surprises you that no one has figured him out yet; after all, it seems quite apparent, doesn't it?

You don’t miss his lurking shadows following you around for hours. A regular fae would’ve missed it but not you. You’ve grown accustomed to him and his ways. You know him better than anyone else and you definitely know of his stalker tendencies.

Azriel believes he's smooth, avoiding outright ogling. Instead, he strategically glances at you during training with Cassian and while sharpening his weapons, subtly appreciating the way your body moves.

Pervert azriel walks up to you, complimenting your form, claiming while it’s good there’s something you need to fix. You don’t mind if he needs to grab your waist while fixing your pose right? And of course you’ll excuse him if he accidentally brushes against your boobs and ass. I mean he just wants to help you perfect your form!

He watches you walking through Velaris from the shadows, always hiding one of his shadows with you. He tells himself that he does it for your safety. Who knows, you might be attacked and he needs to be ready.

He absolutely doesn’t want to hear how much of a hypocrite he is for also stalking you in the safety of your home aswell.

Azriel steals your panties, silently breaking into your room as he looks through your drawers, skimming through the collection of panties. He promises himself it’s the last time, though he’s made the same pledge seven times before.

Azriel's stalking tendencies lead him to roam through your belongings, touching everything to become familiar with your world. He goes to your vanity, picking up your perfumes, and indulges in the forbidden pleasure of smelling the one thing he desires most—you.

Lying in your bed, his head on your pillow, he starts shifting in the sheets, inhaling more of your scent. He revels in the trespass and wrongness of being in your bed, knowing that you might catch a hint of his own scent lingering there, a twisted thought crossing his mind that it could confuse, frighten, or even arouse you.

His cock swells at the thought of you scared, heart beating fast, trying to place who the scent belongs to.

He looks around and finds one of your shirts on the bed and picks it up to his nose.

Then he does the one thing he swore he would never stoop to. He pulls out his already hard cock and strokes it while inhaling your scent from the shirt.

—

He has timed you and learned your schedule hence why he now knows that you’ll be in the shower for the next twenty minutes, giving him the perfect opportunity for his perverse activities. He’ll pick up the laciest most intricate pair, keeping it in his room as some sort of trophy with the other stuff he has taken from you. No one can enter into his room anyways, it’s safe…

Pervert Azriel looks through the little crack in your door as you stand there posing infront of a mirror while wearing pretty much nothing. A lacy little lingerie set as you touch your body, hands traveling all over your tits, waist, ass then up through your hair as you spin around, admiring yourself.

You know Azriel is standing at your door, he isn’t really all that subtle with his hand down his pants as he jerks off at the sight of you.

It’s almost enough to make your eyes roll back into the back of your head, fucking gods, he’s pathetic.

You wanted to fuck him for the longest time. He could just ask you to fuck and you’d say yes yet here he is thinking he’s slick as he pervs on you. Even with all that in mind, there’s a sick, twisted adrenaline rush spreading through your body at the thought of the esteemed and highly respected spymaster doing something so dark and wrong like this.

“I know you're there, Az. Come out,” you say, a wicked smile forming on your face as you plot to utterly humiliate him.

His entire body freezes and Azriel cautiously emerges from the shadows, realizing he's been caught. You maintain that mischievous grin, ready to unleash your plan. The air thickens with anticipation as the confrontation unfolds.

“Az?”

He looks like he’s about to jump out of the nearest window as he looks at you through the mirror.

“Yes?”

“Why are you such a disgusting little pervert? Here I am trying on some clothes and you’re just perving on me. How do you think that makes me feel? I mean I could be super afraid and you wouldn’t have any remorse? Who does something like that?”

Azriel's face heats up at the mocking question, flushing as he tries to respond.

“Az, I asked you a question,” you assert, walking over to him. His embarrassment is palpable as he apologizes, rambling about not knowing what came over him, begging you not to tell anyone.

You already know the answer, and a knowing smile plays on your lips as he seeks forgiveness.

“You’ve done a very bad thing, Azriel. Bad people deserve to be punished. You of all people understand that, right?”

Pushing him back onto one of the sofas in your room, you creep closer, leaning over to whisper. Looking down at him, you place your hand on his cheek, letting your nails dig in a little.

“I think you deserved to be punished.”

Azriel's heart raced, fearing exposure for his hidden activities. Was this it? Would you punish him by revealing his actions to everyone?

Before he could plead for forgiveness, you stood up, walking back to your bed and beckoning him over with two fingers.

As he approached, ready to sit, you extended your leg, placing your foot on his stomach, halting him in his tracks..

“Not so fast,” you assert, a wicked smile playing on your lips. “The bed is reserved for me. You can kneel on the floor.”

Azriel complies, gracefully sinking to his knees. His gaze meets yours, his beautiful eyes revealing a mixture of submission and desire.

“You’re going to eat my pussy. If you manage to make me cum, I won’t tell anyone about your disgusting behavior, understand?”

He couldn't believe what was unfolding. Was he really about to taste you? About to experience the fantasy he'd daydreamed about every single day? He nods, but a disapproving tsk follows.

“I need more than a nod, Azriel. Do you understand?”

A quick, “Yes, I understand,” escapes his lips.

You can't help but smile at the swiftness of his compliance.

“That’s good. Now, I’ll be taking off my bra and panties and they’re very expensive and new so they better not go missing.”

Azriel affirms his understanding and then proceeds to drool over the way you slowly strip infront of him before you spread your legs and tell him to start.

He grabs your thighs and pulls you closer to the edge as he dips his head down to run his tounge up and down your slit, tasting you before playing with your clit.

You gasp in pleasure, letting out moans as your hands find their way to his hair, urging him to keep going.

Azriel’s hands dig into your thighs that are currently smushing his head. He decides to let you continue, telling himself that if he dies like this, he'd go down as the happiest person in history.

“T-that’s it, right there.”

A breathy moan escapes your lips as you feel two of his fingers enter you. Your hands grab his dark soft hair as he started pumping his fingers, relishing at the way your soaking cunt is squelching and squeezing him.

You whimper at the way his thick fingers strecth you out then curl against that secret spot, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You start to slowly fuck yourself on them, eager for more of him.

“You taste even better than I imagined, fuck.”

His desperate voice only spurred you on.

It doesn’t take much longer for that feeling to build up in your stomach, the tight cord eventually snapping. You squeeze and throb around his fingers as you cum hard, letting out whines and mumbles.

Azriel helps you ride out your high, memorizing every facial expression in case this is the last time you ever let him this close again.

He pulls out his fingers and lick them clean then goes back and licks your pussy clean.

You let out a giggle at the sight before you, casting him a look of fake sympathy as you pull yourself together.

“Well, look at that. Seems like I’ll be keeping your secret after all. I mean, what a shame to loose such a good little pussy eater, right? I might just keep you around.”

You beckon him to rise, tossing your underwear onto the sofa before heading to the bathroom to clean up.

Glancing back at his flushed face and heavy breathing, you offer a secret smile.

“Who knows, next time I might even let you fuck me.”

Turning around, you leave him to his thoughts as the shower starts.

Azriel stands there for a moment, his desire evident. Unable to resist, he takes your panties and bra, always craving something of yours.

He promises to himself that he won't do it for an eighth time before hurrying back to his room, to finally help himself

🏷️ taglist: @stasiereads @clairebear08 @daycourtofficial @historiaxvanserra @rowaelinsdaughter @acourtofladydeath @acourtofwhatthefuck @redbleedingrose @danikamariewrites @readychilledwine @nocasdatsgay

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 4 months

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No thoughts. Just: Steve told the kids not to burst into his house and to knock. They learned the hard way when they learned how Steve walks around his big empty house. They always knock now. However, once Eddie joined the party, they decided to prank Eddie. They told him that Steve loves it when they come over unannounced and walk right in. So when Eddie gets bored, he heads straight over to Steve’s house and walks right in.

"The kids told me to just come right over and let myself - oh, fuck!" Eddie yelped.

Steve happened to be walking towards the kitchen at the time, entering the hallway as he did, giving Eddie a very view of Steve’s completely naked body.

"The kids were saying what now?" Steve asked, his hands on his hips.

Steve in the "hands on his hips" pose. . .NAKED. Eddie snorted and blinked rapidly, trying to catch his breath. Eddie's heart was beating rapidly. Oh, this is it. This is how Eddie was going to die.

"Uh. . . They, uh, they said just to let myself in," Eddie said.

"Of course, they did," Steve said and rolled his eyes, tilting his head up causing his throat to be exposed.

This man was gorgeous. Eddie yelped and collapsed the ground. He rolled over, pressing his cheek to the ground, enjoying the way the cool tile felt against his cheek. Never once in his life had he called a guy gorgeous before, never wanted to lick his neck the way he wanted to lick Steve’s.

"Jesus, Eddie, are you okay?"

Suddenly, Steve bare feet came into view. Oh God, Eddie could see his ankle.

"No. . . I think I'm having a crisis," Eddie said.

Slowly, Steve lowered himself to the floor and laid on his back. Eddie focused on his face. If he looked down, he could see his. . . If he just reached out, he could touch it. Eddie let out a squeak.

"You know, if it makes you more comfortable, you could be naked too," Steve said.

"Really?" Eddie asked.

"I already had my crisis about you," Steve said.

"Me? Really?" Eddie asked grinning.

Steve grinned and turned on his side, supporting his head with his fist. He put his hand on his other hip. Holy fuck, that was a gorgeous view.

"Yeah. Okay. Okay. This is happening."

A few days later. . .Eddie gathered everyone together for Hellfire.

"So, I walked into Steve’s house the other day," Eddie said, watching as Dustin, Mike, and Lucas shared a look.

"And?" Dustin snickered.

Eddie knew they were hoping that he would freak. If they only knew how much he had freaked out and oh, he wished he could tell them without outing Steve and give them their own shock by telling them he got railed by their babysitter that evening. Besides, he didn't want to traumatize them.

"Nothing, we hung out all evening. He really is very welcoming. . .very open," Eddie said and tried not to laugh. "He's a good guy. We're very close now. We opened each other up and everything."

"Oh, nothing else happened?" Lucas asked as they all looked disappointed.

"Was something supposed to happen?" Eddie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No!" The three of them said in unison.

Did he absolutely make it hell for them the evening? It was only fair. He did let up a little bit. They were, after all, the reason he and Steve got together. Happy accidents and all that. . .

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #i love eddie being the one that wakes up #bisexual steve harrington #bisexual eddie munson #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #stranger things fanfiction #rueleigh writes

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taehyuncult · 3 months

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7 minutes in heaven with bnd pls? <3

I FORGOT THIS IN MY DRAFTS 😭 ANONIE IM SO SORRY!! i was actually so excited to write it when i first saw it too 💔 i made it longer on purpose to make up for this being so late!!

smut under the cut. mdni.

sungho: this man is such a wild card to me in this context… however, i could see him being upfront and honest. he sees this as an opportunity to have you, so confidence is not an issue. he probably won’t fuck you right then and there, but use this moment to tease you, or to entice you. he’ll be so mean, teasing you, touching you so close to where you need him, whispering all these dirty things in your ear. he would ultimately start giggling if you beg for him because “now isn’t the time” and would say “i want to take my time with you.” overall, would spend his time driving you insane, kissing you so passionately, acting like he would worship you if he just had more time- (like sir can u just make a mess of me already THANK U!)

jaehyun: too scared to initiate in fear of seeming desperate, but is very much desperate. would practically burst into flames if you initiate. “hey can i suck you off?” “can you WHAT?” he’s looking around frantically, trying to decipher if he heard you correctly or not. “yeah why not!” “WHY NOT?” like you’re so nonchalant about it and he’s mentally freaking out. he cums embarrassingly fast, the whole situation is way too sexually charged that he can’t help himself. from the way your mouth feels on his cock, the way you keep looking up at him with those pretty eyes, the way you compliment him - telling him he sounds so pretty. he would moan out, not being able to control his volume, and it’s heavenly. he IS the guy every girl wants like is moaning without hesitation (although he will be embarrassed about it later, he couldn’t care less in this moment). he would literally be so pent up for no reason. it’s like everything is heightened and he’s spilling into your mouth faster than he wanted to, but you don’t mind. this is just the beginning <3

riwoo: baby boy here is shy at times, but can also be so cocky depending on the scenario. the current situation has him being more confident and relaxed as the way you’re staring at him gives you away; that you want him as much as he wants you. he wouldn’t fuck you in the closet, but he’d be more than willing to have some fun. this is the perfect moment to dry hump, your legs on either side of his hips, grinding down on his hard cock. his hands would be on your waist gripping so tightly as he pushes you onto his body as deeply as possible. the two of you would be so desperate for some fricition. by the end of the 7 minutes,, his hair is a disaster from you pulling at it as you use his body to try to get off and both of you have warm cheeks and are panting. truly a MESS in the best way possible.

taesan: not the biggest fan of quickies or feeling as though he has limited time. HOWEVER! he thinks the whole element of potentially getting caught in a scandalous situation to be super enticing. the thought of some poor soul who has to open the door and alert the two of you that your time is up witnessing you drunk for him is enough to motivate him to have you wrecked in less than the time you have. he would push you against the wall, kissing you before whispering in your ear, “this is about to be the best 7 minutes of your life.” your brain short circuits and he spends that time doing anything and everything to make you an absolute MESS.

leehan: out of pocket. he would randomly ask to finger you. he has his shy moments too (more so in the context of praise), but he can also be so confident. he’s the type to ask directly if he wants something, not really hesitating because why should he? you like him and he likes you, so he doesn’t feel the need to be embarrassed. he’ll literally trap you between his body and the wall, smirking at how you look at him with puppy dog eyes full of want. “so? what do you say? want me to make you cum?” he would ask as he stares into your eyes and all you can do is nod. he would get on his knees, not wasting any time. he would pump his fingers in and out, a wet sound filling the room because your cunt was absolutely drenched for him. “such a wet cunt, maybe next time i’ll get a taste,” he would say as he looks up with you a smile. he’s so filthy with his words it’s insane. he’d finger you so good that you physically wouldn’t be able to stand; your body sliding against the wall in defeat as you fully give into this man’s fingers.

#kisa’s hard thoughts #admin.kisa <3 #boynextdoor hard thoughts #boynextdoor hard hours #bnd hard hours #bnd hard thoughts #boynextdoor smut #bnd smut #boynextdoor x reader #sungho smut #myung jaehyun smut #riwoo smut #taesan smut #leehan smut

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just-my-type-x · 2 years

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Heyy just wondering if you do requests, if so I was wondering if you could do a Colby brock one where they are in the shadow man mannor in wales and the reader is colbys 2 months pregnant gf, but like they haven’t told anyone she was pregnant yet, and she’s a medium and stuff keeps happening to her and the spirt box tells everyone she’s pregnant just like a very scary and worried and protective colby requests please.

Spoiled Surprise

We start the investigation in one of the upstairs rooms, looking for the tall, dark shadow man that seems to scare the owners and the visitors of the house. I let the boys walk forward and I'm between Colby and Kat, her amd Stas being the last ones. We enter the room and a cold breeze washes over my face.

"Woah", i take a step back, almost stepping on Kat's foot. I capture everyone's attention. "Didn't you feel like a cold breeze hitting you?"

"No?", Colby answers and we keep on walking until we reach the center of the room. "So stuff starts happening already, we should hit things off. We have an emf reader, the well known spirit box and our ovilus.", Colby points to the devices that me and Sam hold. The small space of the room would normally make the air between us warmer. But now... I start shaking and the girls hug themselves, shivers running through our bodies.

Sam starts pointing the emf reader around the room, proving that none of our devices are at fault for the spiking.

"Woah, woah, point to that corner", i point with my finger to the corner of the room.

"Why? Do you see something?", Sam asks panicked

"I saw a tall, dark shape right there, i can't see it anymore but i still feel it.", from an instinct, i put a hand over my belly as a protective act and take a deep breath. The room got colder and the emf spikes to red. "Told you", i smirk

"That's insane", Colby smiles proudly at me and i bump into him playfully. "Are you feeling alright?", he asks me almost whispering. We kept my pregnancy a secret and we intend to do so because we want to make sure everything is safe and sound until we make the announcement to our friends and family. Nobody knows except us and it's so hard to keep things hidden, especially when the morning sickness kicks in and the four of us are having breakfast. Colby found out that i am pregnant when i was already a few weeks in and i took the opportunity of not having Sam and Kat one night around. I cooked dinner and made a type of date at home. After we ate, i told Colby i have something for him and reached for a gift box, where i put the smallest pair of shoes, my pregnancy test and a note saying "come back to us after ghost hunting". There aren't enough words to express his happiness when he realised what was actually happening. We both cried happy tears and ever since then, our relationship became even stronger. He's very protective over me and loves taking care of me. It was so hard for him not to call his parents and tell Sam about the baby, but we both knew it is for the best to have it a secret.

"I'm great baby. The place just freaks me out, that's all", i assure him and i put my hand back on my belly for a split second.

"Let's try the spirit box. Y/N said she's still feeling him, maybe the shadow man will come through", i nod at Colby's words and he turns on the spirit box.

I cross my arms at my chest and Kat does the same, both of us leaning on the wall with our backs.

Hi Sam

"I'm sorry what", Sam's eyes grow wide and tries keeping his calm. We laugh at his reaction.

"You're not coming back to Vegas", Kat jokes and we laugh even more.

Corner

"Are you in the corner?", Colby asks but i shake my head no before he would get an answer

"He's not there. He's closer to us, i just can't see him", i look around the room, but can't see anything out of the ordinary

Be careful

You carry something *interference* valuable

"What?", Colby asks, unable to comprehend the whole sentence

"Something valuable?", Sam frowns. "We have money, do you want us to leave you some dollars?", he looks around the room

I look at Colby who's just as concentrated as Sam.

Engage

Y/N

"Engage myself, what?", i chuckle

"i think conversation wise", Colby points out and we laugh.

"That makes more sense", i say and take a step forward. Cold air floats in the middle of our group. "Hi, I'm y/n and I'm a medium. I would love it if you would come forward so i could see you. We mean no harm, we just want to understand your world better", i look into the camera that Colby holds. "It's weird every time i say that". He chuckles behind the camera.

You should go home

Not your place

I'll harm *interference*

"You can't harm any of us. We'll leave when we have more answers", i say and i get dizzy all of a sudden, but play it cool.

You have a baby

Keep it hidden

My face goes as white as a wall and look to Colby whose eyes were wide and his bottom lip starts quivering in anger.

"What baby?", Sam asks confused and looks at Kat

"Don't look at me?", she frowns at him

Both Colby and i keep quiet and wait for something to happen.

Y/N

"Well fuck", i nervously laugh. I massage my forehead with my fingers.

"Wait what? You're pregnant?", Kat asks loudly and i look at Colby who starts laughing from behind the camera. He puts the camera on a chair and comes by my side. He hugs me from behind and puts his hands on my growing belly. Colby shows the shape of my barely noticeable bump and they hug us one by one, congratulating us.

"When did this happen?", Sam asks colby

"Almost two months ago. We wanted to keep it a secret until we made sure everything is going the right way.", he kisses the top of my head.

"We're so happy for you, this is insane", Kat says and holds my hand in support.

"Thank you, we love you", we have a group hug and go back to investigating. Sam takes the camera while Colby stays close to me.

"Can you give us a sign that you're here?", Colby asks and a loud bang is immediately heard. "Thank you. Can you use this device to talk to us?", he points to the spirit box once again

Leave

You're not supposed to be here

As the second sentence is said, the dizziness becomes heavier and i lean on Kat for some support.

"Are you ok?", she asks worried

"I'm fine", i lie, but she grabs my hand

"You're burning", she says and puts the back of her hand on my forehead to check again. "Yes you are", the boys stop the spirit box to check on me. Colby puts a hand on my back.

"I'm fine", i lie again and i clear my throat when i feel like i can't breath. I move away from Kat and Colby and try taking a deep breath but fail. I loosen the collar of my blouse and try taking a deep breath again, choking for the need of air.

"Leave her alone!", Colby's deep voice echoes in the room, but i manage to exit it before i see any improvements of Colby's demand on the ghost. I sit on a chair. "Y/N, baby", he comes and kneels in front of me, while i try to catch my breath as i feel like running 5 miles.

"I'm ok now.", i say and lean my head to meet Colby's lips. We both get up and we hug each other. "My neck is burning, tho"

I realise there's something wrong when he gasps and his angry look takes over. "You have finger marks on your neck", his voice breaks and my mouth falls open. Sam comes to check on me too, shocked of how real the choke hold looks. As we talk, the chair i sat on earlier, falls on the ground, hitting the back of my leg. I jump in surprise of what happened. Colby grabs my arm and pulls me into his arms, protecting me.

"You are not allowed to hurt any of us anymore", i shout and a loud bang is heard again.

"The door just shut", Sam says trying to keep his calm. "He doesn't want us back there"

"He's right there", i point behind Sam and we all freak out.

"Is he doing something?", Colby asks

"No, but he's very angry", i feel nauseous and i clear my throat to shake the feeling away. A sharp pain under my abdomen makes me wince in pain. I put my hands over my belly as to protect the baby.

"Let's go, now", Colby almost shouts and starts running with me down the hallway to get me out of there. I take a deep breath when we arrive in the garden, already feeling better. "Hey, you ok? Do you need anything? We can go to the doctor, there's definitely someone working this late", he almost says everything without taking a breath. I kiss him and he relaxes under my touch.

"I feel good. We can go for a check up just to make sure, but I'm feeling alright, babe", he sighs in relief and kisses my forehead.

"I don't know what i would do if something happened to the two of you", he hugs me tightly and his body shivers.

"You're going to be the best dad in the world.",i assure him, knowing he struggles with this thought ever since he found out about the baby.

"I really hope so. And i want to be the best husband in the world too", he smiles and i blush.

"You'll definitely be.", i say and kiss him once more.

#colby brock #sam and colby #colby brock imagine #colby brock smut #sam golbach #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x reader

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sinofwriting · 9 months

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ours - Daniel Ricciardo (listen, please verse)

Words: 5,479 Summary: Daniel and Sweets first time together. Warnings/Notes: Smut, oral sex (female receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk, Daniel’s really filthy mouth and thoughts, Daniel being a freak, barebacking, creampie(?), slight angst towards the end but ends in fluff, and once again Daniel's filthy mouth and thoughts. (Also the first time I’ve written full on smut in so long and it’s been this lengthy (no pun intended). Really proud of it though and hope you all enjoy.) (part of the listen, please verse but can be read separately)

Taglist | Masterlist | Patreon | listen, please verse

He sucks in a harsh breath, trying to breath again at the sight in front of him. It was fucking beautiful, gorgeous and before he can stop himself he opens his big mouth.

“You’ve got the prettiest cunt I’ve ever seen.” Her thighs clench together, “Daniel.” She whines and he drags his eyes away and up her body. Taking in her heaving chest, bottom lip caught between her teeth and wide eyes. His own eyes however immediately fall back to in between her thighs and he can feel his dick throb.

She really did have the prettiest cunt he’d ever seen.

It was all pretty colors, a little slick clinging to her. She wasn’t completely hairless either, something that made him swallow hard. The space where her thighs and pelvis met was free of hair, along with a good majority of her pubic bone. But where she did have hair, it was trimmed. Clearly very carefully groomed and it was all in the places that he knew from a previous ex girlfriend needed a little hair to help protect everything. Though the sight of her like this had never gotten him so excited.

Daniel presses closer, face in between her thighs and he flicks his eyes up, looking at hers. “Can I?” She quickly nods, lip still caught between her teeth.

With her permission, he presses closer. Face just barely an inch away from where he wants to bury himself when he takes a deep breath through his nose and immediately fucking groans. His dick throbs again at the mouth watering scent of her.

“You’re fucking perfect, sweets. Haven’t even gotten my mouth on you yet and fuck,” he cuts himself off with another groan as the image of his mouth on her enters his mind. He was fucking thirty-two yet he felt like a teenager. About to bust just from the thought of touching a girl.

Her thighs try to press together and he grips them tighter. He’d happily let her suffocate him some other time, but not right now. Not for the first time.

“Can I taste you? Get you off with my mouth before I stretch you with my fingers?” “Yes,” she gasps, hips bucking a little. “Please, Daniel. Please.”

He wants to grin at the sound of her begging, at how eager she is. But he can’t not when he’s the same way.

He wants to dive straight in, bury himself in between her thighs and make her cum on his tongue until she’s yanking his curls so hard they're nearly torn out as she tries to get him to stop. Wants to feel her push him away and then closer, pain and pleasure mixing together so much that her body doesn’t know what it needs. He just wants.

Ducking his head, he presses a kiss to her left inner thigh before turning to do the same to the right. He then presses a kiss to her clit, shuddering at the whine that leaves her at the contact. Moving his head down a little, he pokes his tongue out tasting the small amount of slick clinging to her folds and immediately groans at the taste.

He can’t narrow down everything she tastes like, but he can taste a bit of sweat and blood, which makes him take another deep inhale, it also reminds him of some of the plain yogurt he gets every time he’s in monaco. It’s intoxicating and he moves so his left arm is pining her hips to the bed while his right hand moves so it’s fingers are exposing more of her. Spreading her open so he can taste everything she has to give.

Daniel isn’t sure how long he spends between her legs. Going between licking her open, spit and slick making her deliciously wet, to pressing his tongue to her clit, making shapes, spelling out letters and numbers till he finds what makes her legs shake and his name come out as a gasp. He tries not to let it get to him that it’s the number three that makes her gasp and try to buck her hips upwards, wanting more.

He tries, but when he does it again and she whines, he can’t help but groan, rocking his own hips into the bed before really burying his face in her. Nose bumping her clit as his tongue presses inside her.

“Daniel!” She clenches and he flicks his tongue upwards again, rocking his hips when he’s rewarded with his name as a near shout spilling from her lips again.

Pulling back, he rubs her clit with his thumb. “You gonna cum for me, sweets?” She nods, “yes, please.” He runs his pinky gently over her thigh, soothing her. “Gonna cum all over my tongue, let me taste you?” He asks as if he hasn’t spent however long doing exactly that. “Yes.” “Good girl.” And before she can react to the name, he’s back between her thighs, keeping his thumb rubbing circles on her clit even though it’s awkward and overkill with how his nose bumps into the small bud. But it earns him more slick flowing out of her and onto his tongue, which he laps up. Pressing his tongue back inside of her, he thrusts it once, then twice before feeling her body tense up.

He quickly rubs harsher circles on her clit, being rewarded with her hips trying to push up, thighs attempting to come together and her moans and groans before she finally spills over his tongue with a near scream of his name as she tugs at his curls.

He groans at the wave of cum that floods over his tongue as he pulls it out of her. He laps over her entrance trying to get every drop until she’s pushing his head away.

Lifting his head, Daniel smiles at the sight of her. Her eyes are closed, mouth open a little as she pants. Chest moving up and down rapidly. One of her arms still extended downwards from when she had her fingers twisted in his hair, the other laying flat against the bed.

The sight makes him throb a little in his joggers and he can’t resist rocking down one more time against the bed, before he pushes himself up. He quickly moves so he’s laying right beside her, wanting to reach out and gently touch her arm but doesn’t know how sensitive she is.

“That was…” she trails off, finally opening her eyes and turning her head to look at him. “So good.” “Yeah?’ He grins, hand twitching, wanting to touch her, but he redirects it to his shirt which he draws up to wipe at his face. Getting rid of any slick on his face that hasn’t yet dried. She nods, letting out a breathless sort of laugh, eyes falling to his exposed chest before they move back up when his shirt drops. “Yeah.”

Reaching up, her hands rests on the back of his neck as she presses for him to lean down, pressing their lips together as soon as he’s in reach.

She’s never tasted herself before, never done anything sexual with someone else except give a few previous boyfriends handjobs, but she doesn’t mind the taste of herself. It’s not like anything she’s ever really tasted before and she can feel blood rush to her cheeks at the thought of kissing Daniel after he’s cummed in her mouth. Wonders if he’d even want to kiss after she’s given him a blowjob. Her mind then conjures the image of him in between her legs, but this time inside of her and she can feel herself clench around nothing.

“I want more.” She murmurs, when they both pull back, foreheads pressed together, breathing in each other's air. His eyes widened slightly, “you sure? Your thighs have barely stopped shaking.” “I’m sure.” She takes a breath, “I want you in me.”

She doesn’t expect the way his eyes slam shut and the groan of her name, but it makes her confident. And she pulls him until he’s on top of her, hovering, with his arms on either side of her head, bracing his weight.

“Are you sure?” He asks again, eyes open and looking into hers. “We haven’t done anything like this before. And I don’t mind waiting for us to have sex for the first time. It’d be worth the wait.” Something in her stomach flutters at his words, at how sweet he is. “I know, but I want this.” She takes a breath. “I want you, Daniel.” He leans down, sharing a sweet kiss with her. “Okay. But I want to apologize in advance for how short this might be. I’ve been hard as a rock since we we’re on the couch.” She can’t help but laugh and he grins at the sound.

He liked being playful in bed. Liked being able to laugh during and before sex. Because sometimes sex was stupid and things happened that if you didn’t laugh about it then, it would just be awkward later.

It had taken him a while to know that pausing to laugh during sex or just laughing mid thrust was okay, didn’t mean that it wasn’t good or that the night was over. He was glad that despite how much younger and maybe inexperienced she was, that she was okay with laughing in bed.

“I know we’re both clean.” They had exchanged results just a month ago, when tension had started to really build between them. “But I still need to grab a condom.” She frowns at the idea of him getting off the bed to go over to where his bag is. Where she knows a strip of condoms is. It was barely a few feet away, but it seemed too far. “What if we went without?” His heart skips a beat, before coming back twice as fast. “You want to go bare?” “I just,” she pauses. “We’re both clean, I’m on birth control, and I can always doordash some plan b.” “I’ve, uh. I’ve never gone bare.” Hadn’t really thought about it either, other than when he was younger and it seemed like a fucking hardship to walk three feet to get a condom. But even then the thought had been fleeting, just in the moment. But the thought of it now? Of nothing separating them? Of getting to sink into her sweet, hot cunt with no condom on? It made him throb and swallow hard around the sudden lump in his throat. “It could be a first for both of us.” Her gentle voice saying those words, made him squeeze his eyes shut, hand suddenly disappearing between them to grab at the base of his cock. “Shit, sweetheart.” He hisses.

“You like that idea?” Her voice is slightly lower. “Being the first person to cum inside me?” He squeezes a little harder, “Keep talking and I’m going to bust as soon as I get inside you.” The sound of her giggling makes him open his eyes and he can’t help but smile at her. Smile at how she’s smiling at him. “That’s okay.” She mumbles, looping both her arms around his neck, dragging him a bit closer. “You can always make it up to me later.” He stares at her in disbelief, because she wasn’t lying, her eyes shining with honesty. He dips his head down, kissing her deeply. Relishing in the way she moans into it and her nails lightly drag at the skin on the nape of his neck.

“No, this is our first time. I want it to be good for you too.” “It would be Daniel. It’s you. You could do anything and it would be a good first time.” Her belief in him and her ever shining honesty makes him kiss her again. “No, sweets.” He tells her when he pulls away. “I want you cumming around my cock before I finish. For me, to make it good for me.” “Whatever you want.” “Exactly.” He says a serious expression on his face before he breaks into a laugh, happy to hear her giggle along with him.

Her giggle turns to a gasp when his fingers that had been previously wrapped around the base of his cock swipe through her folds.

“Do you have any lube? You’re wet, sweets, but I want to make sure.” She nods, stretching out to reach her left nightstand and opening the drawer and taking out a small bottle of lube. “You’ll have to get undressed first.” She tells him when he tries to reach for the bottle, but she keeps it away from him. “Oh, I see. You just want me naked.” She can’t help but laugh, nodding. “Daniel, you didn’t think that I was with you for anything other than your body, did you?” His mouth falls open a bit at her cheek as he sits back on his haunches, a hand coming up over his heart. “Wow, sweets. That is just cruel. I mean, really. I give you an earth shattering orgasm.” She laughs a little harder at that and he can’t help but grin for a second. “And this is how you treat me.” “Well, I don’t know about earth shattering.” She teases, but before he can say anything she’s quick to say. “But it was without a doubt the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

“You’re a fucking menace, sweets.” He breathes after a moment, releasing the base of his cock once again. “And you’re still not naked.” The words and filled with want they are, make him flush.

Taking off his shirt, he can’t help but preen at how her eyes settle on his exposed abdomen. It’s awkward taking off his joggers and boxers while still being on the bed, all too aware of her eyes on him, but he manages without falling off or hitting himself or her. Pushing the clothes off the bed, he notices where her eyes are glued and can’t help but smirk, chest puffing out a little at her wide eyed expression and slight open mouth.

He knows he’s big, but not so much that it's ever hurt anyone. He’s just over eight inches hard and is thick enough that he fits comfortably in his hand, thumb only going over his fingers a bit when he holds himself.

Before he can say anything, tease her for staring, she’s reaching out for him with her hand not holding the lube and he goes. Settling between her legs in a different way than earlier. He kisses her next, soft and gentle, reassuring and all consuming.

“You still want to do this?” He murmurs when they break apart, eyes heavy and filled with lust. “Yes.” The answer comes out a little breathless and so do the words that follow. “I want you, Danny.”

The next sound that fills the room is the snick of the lube opening, as Daniel puts some on his right pointer and middle finger, carefully rubbing them together to warm it before slipping his hand between their bodies and then her thighs.

Her thighs twitch a little at the first touch to her folds, before she spreads her thighs a little further apart. Moving his fingers a little further down, he feels her clench around nothing when he presses his finger against her hole. Not pushing in, just resting.

Leaning down he presses their lips together and when she opens her mouth a little to let his tongue slide against hers, he presses his finger inside. She’s warm and wet and tight. So fucking tight despite him eating her out not even ten minutes ago and the thought of her wrapped around his cock makes him groan into the kiss, pulling back so he can look down where he’s fingering her.

It’s beautiful watching his finger move in and out, curling it upwards slightly before pressing in another. Her thighs twitch at the second finger and his eyes flicker back up to her face. There’s no pain or discomfort, not even a hint that the stretch is too much, but the way her hands are curled up in the sheets like she doesn’t know if she can touch makes him frown. Wondering what exactly the guy or guys before him have done to her in bed that now that he’s fingering her, she thinks she can’t touch him.

“Baby,” the word falls out before he can think, making him blink because that’s never been a pet name he’s used.

He likes sweetheart, darling, sometimes honey, and with her he likes calling her sweets, my girl. But baby is a new one to roll off his tongue. He shakes the thought from his head, if he wanted to, he could think about it later, not now.

He spreads his fingers, scissoring them as he gets her ready for a third finger. “Touch me.” “I,” she starts, but he curls his fingers upwards and she loses herself to the pleasure with a moan. “Touch me, sweets. I want you to touch me.”

Daniel watches as her hands clench around the sheets before they release the fabric. One of her hands goes to his back and he has a fleeting thought of both of her hands on his back, clutching at him, nails digging in so deep that they leave scratches that bleed, but it disappears when her other hand rests on his cheek. Fingertips dancing over his cheekbone.

He smiles at her, kissing her hand at the same time he pushes in a third finger. She gasps, clenching around them, eyes tightening in the corners for a few seconds, before she relaxes again.

Now with three fingers, he moves so his thumb is gently rubbing at her clit, wanting to keep slick flowing and not knowing if just his fingers inside of her will do that. The stimulation earns him a sigh and a buck of her hips.

Moving his fingers inside of her, he spreads them a bit before pulling them out and back in. He continues to do that, repeating the same motions and watching as fingers disappear inside of her only to reappear with wetness spread all over them.

“Daniel,” she moans when he goes to push his fingers back in. “Please, I want you in me.” “You don’t want to cum like this?” He rubs a circle on her clit, making her clench, but she shakes her head. “Want you in me. Want to cum around you.” He curses, mind scrambling as he pulls out his fingers, hand grappling in the sheets by her hip where there should be a condom, before his mind catches up, remembering that they decided not to use one.

He shuffles a little, before finally wrapping a hand around himself, guiding himself to her entrance before stopping. The tip just pressing against her as he leans down for a kiss. “I love you.” He murmurs. She smiles, lashes fanning out beautifully as her eyes close for a second. “I love you too.”

Pressing against her, he sucks in a harsh breath as his head pops inside of her. Her walls clinging to it.

“Shit.” He breathes, hips stuttering as he pulls back and then forward, sinking himself a little further into her. “Daniel.” His eyes that he hadn’t even realized closed, open at the sound of his name. “You alright?” He asks, seeing her face twisted a little. “Yeah.” She nods, hands clutching at his back, trying to draw him closer. “Bigger than your fingers.” He huffs out a laugh, pushing in a bit more before finally removing his hand and framing her head with his forearms. “I’d say sorry.” She shakes her head. “It’s okay. Good.” She murmurs. He makes a humming noise, trying not to think about how he already feels good to her and he’s barely inside of her.

Daniel watches her face carefully as he slowly sinks more and more into her. Nearly grabbing the lube to pour some on himself at how tight she is, but her own hips are tilting upwards, trying to get him further in. And it’s a fucking fight to not just sink all the way. Feel her completely wrapped around him.

Another twist of her features has him pausing. “You alright?” She nods, “yeah, just big.” Her hips twist a little to the right and the left as if trying to find a more comfortable position. And his eyes dart upwards to the pillows on his side of the bed.

Planting his left hand on the bed, he moves his right arm until his fingers curl around a pillow. “Lift your hips sweetheart.” She does and he quickly stuffs it underneath her. Cursing himself that he hadn’t thought to do this earlier. “Better?” He asks, seeing her face no longer twisted up and her hips bucking a little. “Much.” And she lifts her head, pressing their lips together. “Thank you.” He shakes his head, “this is supposed to be good for the both of us. I’m just doing my job, sweets.”

He starts to pull out, not expecting the way her nails dig into his back and the whine that comes from the back of her throat. It makes him throb, the arousal he had managed to push away coming to the forefront of his mind with vengeance.

“Dan,” “I know.” He mutters, not sure if he actually does. But continues to pull out until just the head of his cock is inside of her. Walls clinging to it, almost like they’re trying to coax the rest of him back inside of her.

Pushing in again, he groans, head falling at the sound of her moaning.

He continues that. Pulling nearly all the way out before pushing back in, going a little further each time. Until finally he sinks all the way inside of her.

They’re both panting, chests and stomachs sticking together a little with sweat and as he kisses her forehead he can taste the sweat starting to gather there.

“You all good?” He asks after a moment, voice tight as he tries to not start thrusting. “I think I hate your dick.” His laugh immediately fills the room, though he stops quickly at the way it moves the two. “Already? Barely been in you?” He grins at her. She pokes her bottom lip out more, enjoying how his eyes lock onto it. “Just not how I thought this would go.” “You thought about this?” His voice lower, rougher and she can feel blood rush to her face. “Yeah, I mean. Of course.” “Hmm.” He rocks his hips a little enjoying the way her mouth falls open with a gasp. “How’d you think it would go?” “Faster,” she gasps as he rolls his hips. “You wouldn’t have ate me out.” He scoffs at the idea. “You’re lucky I didn’t spend more time there. Especially with how good you taste. Might end up living there, in between your thighs, mouth pressed against your cunt.” She moans and clenches around him at the last word and his eyes shine with delight, grin turning dangerous.

“You like that, sweetheart?” He asks, starting to thrust. “Me talking about your cunt? How sweet it is? How wet and tight?” “Yes.” The sound is a mix of a gasp and a moan. “Love hearing you.” “Hearing me what?” He slows his thrusts to a filthy grind. “Love hearing you,” she pauses to moan as he presses his lips to her neck, head tilting back to give him more space. “Love you talking about my cunt.” He curses at the word coming from her lips, dick twitching, and he nips at her neck. “Filthy little thing. Wanting me to talk about your cunt.” He snaps his hips, earning a cry of pleasure from her.

“You like how my cock fills you up, stretching out your tight, hot, little cunt?” “Yes!” Her hips try to press more into him and he curses, pressing all of his weight into his left forearm as his right goes to grasp at her hip, hand gripping it tight. “Fuck, Daniel.” “Can feel you clench every time I say it. Practically strangling me.” “Daniel!” He can feel the coil in his stomach tightening and he stretches his hand out, thumb barely able to reach her clit where he starts to rub. Her eyes rolling back in her head at the sensation.

“Feel so fucking good around me.” He curses. “Best cunt I’ve ever been in.” And his hips stutter at the way she clenched around him. “Please, Daniel.” “What do you need?” “I,” she’s cut off by a whine. “I don’t know.” And there’s tears in her eyes as she feels her orgasm so close but out of reach. “Shh.” He soothes her, pressing down to kiss her. Loving how she sighs into him, mouth opening up for him. “Want me to pull out?” Her fingers dig in deep and he hisses at the sting of them. “Okay, okay. You want me to go faster?” “Yeah,” and her grip on his back loosens a bit. “Still want you to cum in me.” He groans, hips picking up speed. “Alright. I can do that, baby.”

As his thrusts pick up pace, he presses his thumb a little harder against her clit, rubbing tight circles on the little bud, resulting in whimpers and moans of his name that make him groan.

It’s a never ending loop of pleasure that makes him feel dizzy.

“Daniel,” this whine is a little more high pitched and his eyes are immediately darting to her face. “I’m gonna cum.” “Yeah?” She nods, one of her hands moving from his sweat slicked back to his neck. “Go ahead, baby. Cum for me. Cum around my cock.” He tells her. And she does. Head going back as a beautiful sound leaves her mouth. Her whole body shaking around and under him. Her nails dig into the back of his neck and his back, legs tightening so much around his waist that he can’t thrust but merely grind in her.

It doesn’t matter though because the sound of her cumming, the feeling of it triggers his own orgasm, nearly taking him by surprise and the only thing that leaves his mouth is her name.

He barely manages to pull his hand out from between them, before just about collapsing on top of her, hips still pumping into her a bit as he milks the last of both their orgasms. She makes a slight noise at his weight resting on top of her, but then hums, fingers no longer digging into his skin but running over it with gentle barely there touches.

After a moment, he manages to brace his weight on his forearms again. “Was that alright?” She nods, eyes closed and a blissful smile on her face. “Perfect.” She sighs. “It was perfect.” He ducks his head down, unable to resist kissing her. “It’ll be better next time. I’ll try to prove I can last longer than this.” Her eyes pop open, “longer?” He hums a yes, an arm moving so his hand can gently pull her thigh away from where it’s hugging it’s waist and he presses a kiss to her leg when she lets it drop from him and then the other one. “Maybe not as long as I normally do or can last, but next time will definitely be longer than this.” He tells her as he carefully pulls out of her, rubbing at her thighs when she winces, before sitting on his haunches, her hands slipping away from his body at the movement. “You’re going to kill me.” She whines, a hand going up to cover her face but he can’t reply not with what he’s looking at.

Her thighs are all spread apart, slick on the inside of them, and he can even feel it on his groin. Just knows that if he doesn’t take a shower tonight, he’ll regret it in the morning. But the real thing that’s got his attention is what’s in between her thighs. His soft dick giving a twitch and he knows if he was about ten years younger he’d already be hard again, but now it will take him at least another five minutes.

She’s all slick and shiny. Lips puffy and swollen and her clit is as well. But her hole is gaping slightly as cum, his cum, drips out of it. It makes him want to bury his head back inbetween her thighs, scoop up his cum with his tongue and fuck it back into her. The thought makes him swallow hard and shake his head. Fuck, he really was a dirty bastard.

It’s only as his dick gives another stirring interest that he forces his eyes away. “What did you say?” Daniel asks, only remembering him telling her that he’d last longer next time. “You’re going to kill me.” She repeats, though it’s muffled by her hand. He laughs, “what you’ve never had sex that lasted more than fifteen minutes before? Because trust me sweetheart, it gets good the longer you go.” He nearly winks but her widened eyes and suddenly tense body stops him. “Oh my god.” She murmurs, hand falling away from her face. And suddenly she’s scrambling to sit up, hissing at the way muscles she’s never used before burn. “What? What’s wrong?” He asks, reaching out to hold her, but she shakes her head, and his arms fall back to his sides and hurt filling him. She had never not let him touch her. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I thought I’d mentioned it or brought it up. Whatever you want to call it.” She apologizes, tears starting to gather in her eyes. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” And he wants to reach out again, but doesn’t want to get rejected again, doesn’t know if he can handle it. “It’s not.” She shakes her head and she regrets not letting him hold her. This would be much easier if he was holding her. “I’ve never, or I had never done this before.” She tells him, but he just looks at her confused and it makes her lips pressed together. “This was my first time.” The words come out a little quiet. “I hadn’t had sex before until now.” His face goes blank at her words and she can feel herself panic a little. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I thought I’d brought it up before. I was so sure I had, because we talk about everything. I don’t know why,” she stops herself with a groan running a hand over her face. “I’m sorry.” She says again, not knowing what to do or say.

Silence fills the room and her eyes fall onto her lap where her hands rest, fingers interlacing before separating and then repeating. Her heart sits a little heavy in her chest. She doesn’t think this will ruin her and Daniel or mark the end of them. But she does think that maybe it will fracture some of his trust in her.

So in her head, she doesn’t notice his arms moving until they’re wrapped around her and pulling her into his lap and she can’t help but make a face realizing that his cum is still trickling out of her and probably trickling onto him.

“Get out of your head, sweetheart.” “Dan,” she starts, but he covers her mouth. “No. Out of your head.” His voice is a little more stern, accent a little thicker and it makes her wriggle a little in his lap. “This doesn’t change anything. We do talk about everything, there’s no blame to be had for thinking we had talked about this when we hadn’t. Besides,” he swallows. “I think earlier you did mention it, but I thought you were talking about our first time, not both yours and our first time. But it’s okay. You know why?” She shakes her head and he removes his hand from her mouth, looking into her eyes. “Because I wouldn’t change a single thing about this night, other than the pillow. I should’ve had your hips propped up from the start.” She lets out a little laugh and he smiles. “But really. I made you cum around my tongue first, got you all relaxed for me. Didn’t half ass the fingering or just stuck it in you. So, I’ve got no problems with this being your first time and ours.” “Really?” “Really.” He then grins, a little smug. “Besides, I kind of like being the only person you’ll ever have sex with.” She laughs, shaking her head. “You’re ridiculous.” But her smile turns soft and she brushes their lips together. “I like the thought of only having sex with you as well.” “Good. Because it’s just you and me for the rest of our lives.” She nods. “Just you and me.”

---

Tagging: @lpab @gemofthenight

#daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo smut #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smut #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 smut #listen please verse #holy fuck i can't believe first how long this is and i actually managed to finish writing this #hope y'all enjoy the filth that daniel made me write #my brain rot for that man is out of this world

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walkawaytall · 3 months

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I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

#adhd #adult adhd #adhd combined #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd treatment

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ppnuggiex · 9 months

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Howdy! I saw requests were open, but if not then please do ignore this one!

It's kinda crack? But mostly angst to comfort, essentially something goes wrong in reader's alchemy class and they get hit by an extremely strong spell that makes it seem as if they're dead, but really they're just in a super deep sleep. So once the spell wears off, they wake up right in the middle of their own funeral cuz everyone thought they were dead. Gender neutral pronouns for the reader with riddle, kalim, malleus and floyd as the love interests! In headcanon format as well pretty please!

　　　　　　TWST x gn reader

　　　　『　riddle ,, kalim ,, malleus ,, floyd ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> reader gets hit w/ heavy deep sleep spell n characters think theyre dead

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, a bit of angst

　　— this ended up being a little more on the humorous side 😭

- kalim

| • hes so distraught ,, hands on his head as he freaks out and shakes you violently . jamil finds out and facepalms . mr crewel told him nothing was wrong ,, to just give you time but kalim couldnt .

| • he swore you had died ,, and because of that he done held a big fancy funeral . he done invited all the dorms and everything .

| • you woke up when he was in the middle of talking about how you were such a nice and loving partner ,, how he wished you didnt have to die this soon .

| • get this man a tissue bc he starts bawling when you whip that coffin open .

- riddle

| • hes a bit more calmer than kalim in this situation ,, taking care of you whilst you sleep . but he always felt like something was off .

| • that was until one day he went to check up on you ,, your skin was oddly cold and he couldnt feel your breathe or see your chest move when you did breathe .

| • he may or may not have panicked at that point ,, checking your pulse and not feeling anything .

| • riddle thought the spell done killed you then ,, after all you didnt have any sort of resistance to magic so it was a possibility .

| • cue him tending your funeral and trying his best not to start crying in front of all those people .

| • you were his partner ,, his life and joy and now youre gone . or so he thought until you threw that coffin door open and smacked the person speaking right in the face .

| • and standing up in the coffin and falling face first out .

- malleus

| • bro acted the same as kalim . he did not stop to think about checking your pulse or anything . his immediate reaction was that you died . and all the sudden it started to rain very hard .

| • he starts acting like a child who lost his mom ,, panicking and shaking your body as much as he could .

| • then he pulls out some shakespeare typa shit ,, going on about how woe is me ,, my beloved hath died ,, taking from his grip as your soul was dragged away from him .

| • he has a small funeral for you ,, ready to speak for you when a miracle happens .

| • you awaken !! malleus is so shocked he gets a little teary eyed ,, running over and making sure youre okay before getting all baby girl .

| • in the end you walk out carrying him bridal style whilst sebek is fretting over his image .

- floyd

| • he thought this was one of those pranks people do to their pets . where you record yourself pretending to be dead to see what your cat does or something .

| • so he kinda ,, kicked you a few times and is all like ,, wake up shrimpy this isnt funny .

| • then jade has to break the news of the possibility you mightve been struck too harshly by the potion and maybe youre just ,, yknow ,, passed on .

| • floyd refuses to believe it ,, you couldnt have left him . you wouldnt do that to him . you wouldnt abandon him like that .

| • as much as he hates to admit it ,, he definitely cried a bit that night . he shows up for the funeral ,, still in disbelief youre dead .

| • but boooyy is he whipped when you ended up being asleep . he doesnt care who’s there ,, he runs over and rips you out that coffin so fast .

| • blames you for worrying and leaving him ,, and makes you promise not to do something like that again .

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fatswaps · 4 months

Text

PLUMBER BODY SWAP

Minh was what many woukd refer to as, the perfect guy. He was smart, as shown by his exceptionally high grades. He had the looks of a supermodel, always the subject of awe for every girl and even some of the guys on campus. And, perhaps most important to the unfortunate events that would unfold, He was just a few months into his 18th age. The young man had everything he could ever ask for, and with such great traits, came perhaps the only aspect of Minh most couldn't stand- his disrespectful attitude. Minh really didn't shy away from treating those he seemed as unattractive in comparison to himself with the same resoect he'd show to an insect. But his pretty looks and large circle of acquaintances were enough to keep him surrounded by friends.

Though Minh would have his comeuppance one faithful night at a dorm party. The boys Minh was friends with were doing their usual activities such as drinking, making an overall mess and damaging dorm property. Markably, that night- it was the dormroom toilet which had been broken by the rowdy college boys. One of the pipes had been broken apart by one of the boys hitting it with a golf club in a not-so hilarious prank.

After the boys setttled down a bit, they soon realized they'd be forced to call the college plumber, an older guy called Steve. It was common for students to make fun of Steve for his big gut and in their eyes, "lowly" job of fixing their shitters. Once called over, the boys snickered and pushed one another to talk to the exhausted old guy at which point, Minh heroicly stepped forward and said "Hey... so, our pipes got broken. Guess you didn't do a very good job last time" he smirked, which Steve could only reply with an irritated sigh "You'll have to wait for tomorrow for me to fix it" he made his stance and was about to leave when the irritated younger man scoffed "What? Going home to eat some slob piggy?" He insulted the poor man, which was when he stopped in his tracks. "You know what, show me the way."

Smirking victoriously, Minh lead Steve to the bathroom but the moment he stepped inside- he blacked out and time itself seemed to become hard to decipher from space.

When he came to, Minh saw a familiar sight sitting on the stairway he'd led the fat plumber up to reach the bathroom where he heard his own voice say "Yeah, thanks for the job bro. Now piss off, this party is for young people". He didn't understand what was happening until he was pushed out the door- by himself!

Minh was confused as he fell to the floor outside his door room in the corridor. Taking a moment to recall what had happened- he soon realized everything got weird after he went into the bathroom with the plumber guy... speaking of, where was he?

It was at that moment Sing caught a reflection of himself in the mirror at the end of the hallway... that was not his body, that was NOT his pretty young face. That was the face of the 87 year old plumber he made fun of on a daily basis!

Having freaked out would be an understatement as the freshman-turned-old man screamed in pure fear and shock at the changes to his body. It was at this moment when he recieved a text... pulling his phone out of his now much tighter jeans' pockets- Minh read the texts in pur horror

"You probably noticed by now that I took your body kid. Well, tough shit. I was tired of being the fat plumber everyone shits on, now its your turn. Enjoy my 87 year old body, cause I'm gonna enjoy yours"

He saw a text being uploaded right after

"Oh and, don't even try to tell anyone what happened. I took some pictures of 'you' doing some pretty messed up shit to my poor college boy body and they could make you lose your job in less than a day, if not go to jail. Heh, good luck dickhead".

It had been around 6 months after the swap, and Minh had to adjust to his new life whether he liked it or not. The new Minh had already blocked his number and would give him the most humiliating smirk whenever the two saw eachother.

What took the most to get used to however was the disadvantages of obesity and old age. The old man suffered a great deal trying to get from anywhere to anywhere else. Even the most mundane tasks had him gasping for air due to years of smoking.

Showering was still so humiliating, seeing the fat rolls, his fatpad, the hairy body and ridiculously large moobs and belly. His balding head and old man beard- they all felt so wrong. Minh cried for quite a long time until his shower sessions turned into silent moments of pure shame

Another aspect of his body Minh could never come to terms with was his ridiculously small, constantly soft penis. With the horniness of an 18 year old freshman snuffed out, replaced by the body of a 87 year old man- Minh longed for his old vitality.... something he would never have again.

It was about 5 years into the swap when Minh's suffering came to an end due to a sudden heart attack due to his morbid obesity. The news spread around campus, and Steve- now fully in Minh's shoes, seemed quite unsympathetic, his statement about the old guy being "The fat fuck deserved it."

#bad ending #identity theft #male body swap #male weight gain #young to old #bodyswap

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 10 months

Text

touchin', m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Jeon Jungkook has got ten minutes and a hard dick. So he says. You learn you can't trust everything he says though.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; lovers that call themselves friends-with-benefits because JK is a fool; both parties are freaking annoying tbh; smut (fem reader, double lip piercing JK, heavy petting, standing doggy with clothes on, lots of neck making out, light nipple play, low-key forearm kink); fluff; non-idol!AU - JK is wearing the outfit from his 2023.06.29 Weverse live

“I have ten minutes and a hard dick.”

You rubbed your temples.

“Jungkook, why are you calling me?”

Breathless surprise, as if the man on the other side of the line didn’t realize how jarring it was to call someone announcing a time limit and a stiff rod. “I have–”

“I heard you,” you growled back, interrupting him sharply as you heard the knock on your front door. “I just can’t believe you. You’ve got plenty of people trying to get in your pants.” You unlocked the door and wretched it open. “Yes?” you blurted out impatiently.

What?

You weren’t expecting anyone decent at near midnight.

Big peepers stared back.

“But I don’t want anybody else in my pants,” Jeon Jungkook told your ear and your face.

You rolled your eyes and dropped your phone. “You look like an egg.”

He did. Black beanie jammed onto his head, his black-brown hair sticking out every which way underneath, even a dropped jaw to emulate that pointed side of said metaphorical egg. White Nike t-shirt two sizes too big for him. Loose black sweatpants. Cute monochrome black-and-white sneakers you would not be letting into your home.

He bit his lower lip, still clutching his smartphone. You noticed there was another piercing on his lip now.

“I thought… we were…”

You pulled him by the front of his shirt and yoinked him inside.

“Don’t just stand out there with your mouth agape,” you scolded gently, shutting the door. “I don’t want you talking about your hard dick to my neighbors. Take off your shoes.”

It was an awkward moment of bodies pressed together and hastily followed instruction. You had to pluck his phone from him and end the call because it seemed like Jungkook had decided his primary task was ogling you and your bare legs. A large, vintage band t-shirt was good enough pajamas for you. You bent down to shove his shoes against the wall and you were very sure Jungkook’s eyeballs were glued to your ass. All that was well and good, but what was thinking, calling you up about his hard di–

His lock screen flashed on when your thumb grazed against it.

You spotted one of your Instagram photos hiding behind the time stamp and his numerous notifications.

Huh.

You looked away.

“Take this,” you muttered, jamming his phone back into his open hand. “What are you doing out so late anyw–”

You cut yourself off once you realized how close Jungkook was.

In this entire space of your front entrance, he had picked centimeters away from your chest to be his standing spot, forcing you to look up at him and his big dark brown peepers. Seemed like he was eating well. He had a little more fullness to his cheeks tonight, although he still had his sharp jawline and that silver hardware gleaming on the right side of his lip. One hoop, one new stud.

“I… I, uh…”

You intended to deliver some firm comeback, but instead you relented under that gaze and pressed your thigh against his. Just to feel him. Not too much, but enough to have the contact and strike the friction between bodies.

“Um…” He was mumbling, struggling to think. “I have to go meet my parents at the train station. They said they picked up some stuff for me and that I should go get it.”

You frowned. “So… why are you here?”

A jolt as you realized he was closer and taking your hand, pulling it down, lower.

Lower.

“I can’t go like this…”

Pressing your hand to his crotch, his lips already on yours as you palmed his rock-hard erection through his pants.

Yeah, you can, and Jungkook could tell what you were thinking from your smirk against his kiss and the tease of your tongue. There was no reason to make this easy for him, no matter how easy he was. You smiled, avoiding too much pressure in the kiss, both to frustrate him and because you were uncertain about irritating the new piercing, but Jungkook chased you, sharpness in his inhale, following your steps deeper into your dark home.

The one light you had on was in your bedroom, but you might not make it at this rate.

Strong hands grabbing the back of your head, fingers spreading out over your scalp, pulling you closer, and you met his insistence with calm, tracing your tongue over his lips and flitting in and out. Saliva and softness, the backs of his hands roughly hitting the wall, crowding you with his larger frame as you snaked your hand up and down his length, the fingers of your other hand sliding up the hem of his shirt and hooking over the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging him to you.

He moaned into your mouth when your fingertips caressed taut skin.

“What am I gonna do with you?” you purred, teasing him, nicking at his lower lip. The heat of his body was radiating and addictive. Too many clothes for how aroused he was. “I thought you said we weren’t that serious, hm?”

His hands in your hair tightened. “I t-take it back…” he whimpered. “I told you… I don’t want anyone else…”

You touched him all over, massaging his balls and toying with his cock, smearing the pre-cum over your palm and his length, pressing your soft thigh against his hard one. Rolled your body against his, your hot breath on his chin, his moan smoke above your eyes, and now he could feel that you weren’t wearing a bra under your shirt.

He shivered in delight.

You chuckled.

“I think you would say anything to have my hand on your dick.”

Pressed your lips to his throat and kissed down, wrapping your hand around his length. His pants were falling down his legs. You felt one hand leave your head and then his pants shifted. Then his fist hit the wall, a thunderous boom amidst his shudders that you felt through tongue and teeth, careful not to leave marks.

“H… Harder…”

You snickered. “You’re going to see your parents. I can’t leave hickeys.”

He whined, but you ignored it, flicking his earrings and licking under his earlobe. Tingling kisses left behind in your wake. He smelled like his usual clean soap. The tips of his hair feathered against your temples as you kissed the space under his ear, delicately sucking on it.

That was enough.

Time crunch and all that shit.

You were about to slide down the wall, but Jungkook stopped you, grabbing your shoulder.

You looked up, cocking an eyebrow. Half-laughing inside because his beanie was barely on his head, his unruly hair spilling out. There were visible beads of sweat by his furrowed brow, but you bit your words back and focused on those lidded dark eyes and flushed pink lips gasping your name breathlessly.

“B-Bend over.”

It would have a sterner effect if he hadn’t stuttered.

The side of your lips curled up irresistibly. “Oh?”

He lifted his fist off the wall and the foil packet caught the light.

You smirked.

“You’re so fun, you know that?”

Jungkook grinned and smacked the condom into your cheek, dragging your face to his, wild black hair over his eyes as he kissed you, indenting your lip with his jewelry.

There was something extra slutty about being mostly dressed and fucking standing doggy against the wall. He pressed his palm on your lower back but you were already slipping further down the wall, your panties at your knees, ass up, and you heard him swear when the throbbing head pressed into your dripping heat.

“Fuck… me… are you a virgin or what? Fuck!”

He would know from personal experience that you most certainly were not. You neglected to remind him he hadn’t warmed you up himself. Instead, you hiked your shirt up more and tilted your head playfully. Added commentary to be extra insufferable. For fun, of course.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m not…”

Your hand hit the wall. Both palms flat, lowering more and pushing back as he pushed in, the ache viciously filled with his girth, pleasure suddenly racing up your spine and devouring the equilibrium.

“I’m not, fuck, thanking you, a-ah…!”

He was the one with his hands gripping your hips but you were the one to start off the bruising pace, sucking a breath between teeth and shoving your ass into his crotch, amplifying the power of his thrust, warmth swirling in your core, satisfaction blooming in your exhale.

“Mmmm, Jungkook, yeah, fuck, just like that…”

Your fingers curling into fists, immediate fire in your veins, clenching around his hard length and enjoying every second. Power and lust and savage sweetness, feeling his fingers dig into your hips, hearing his breath hitch, his moan vibrating in his throat. You had to stifle a laugh as you realized that he was suffocating all his sounds so he could concentrate, hm, how interesting, but you let yourself fall into the pleasure, tipping your head back and sighing, the building wave of orgasm seeping out and spreading over your lower belly, pulsing around him.

You dropped your torso a little lower and heard Jungkook groan, gripping your ass harder.

“Hah… so good… fuck…”

His name falling from your lips, with desire and grace, not hiding the feeling but burning in the fervor, remembering his insincere face telling you a bold lie, we’re not that serious, and you recalled thinking, is he just saying that because he thinks I’m intimidating or what, but you let him think what he thought and want what he wanted, his nails clawing into your back, harder, regular plans becoming more irregular, breathing heavier, hotter, until he was constantly searching for you with those shining brown eyes of his, pulling you to his embrace and trying to lock down this escape artist with his lips.

Maybe it worked.

Who knows.

You pressed your fist into the wall and let out a hiss of hot breath, clenching your core and all around him, ah, chasing that brutal fullness, that declivous slick friction with every loud smack, the prickling crawling up your legs and ribcage, come on, give it to me, your low purr intoxicated by the carnal desire and Jungkook couldn’t say anything, probably clenching his jaw and burning up from the heat, closer, his pants turning into coarse gasps, choppy and erratic, faster, hotter, throbbing, there.

He didn’t have time to warn you.

You felt your inner walls pulse and flinch, squeezing hard, the rush injected into the tension and making you gasp, thrown off by the sudden shaking ecstasy, your hand slipping on the wall. Catching yourself mid-slide and feeling Jungkook jerk, freezing your hips in place as he came in intense jerks, straining against your tightness, your name in a silvery, fucked-out moan.

Damn.

Could get used to that.

Your hair was all over your face, making the dark room even darker. “Heh. Trying not to cum too fast, huh?”

“S… Shut up…”

He barely forced it out, his hands giving out and sliding up your stomach. Oof, he was warm, his chest radiating heat onto your back, and yet you smiled as you felt his fingertips rub against your hard nipples, sending shivers of pleasure through you in the afterglow. You pushed half of your hair back, amused at seeing his beanie somehow now on the floor. He lifted you up even though you didn’t ask, slipping out and shoving his sweaty face into the back of your neck.

“Hey,” you were about to protest, but he was squeezing your breasts and nipples, making you buck against him as he sighed into your skin.

“You smell so good, mmmm…” he was mumbling, ignoring your squirming.

You tried to reorient him even though he was the one trying to distract you. “Oi, aren’t you supposed to be going somewhere?”

“Wuh?”

You tried to unstick his hands from your chest but he pressed his forearms to your sides. Instantly, a tremor danced through your muscles, thundering, not allowing the arousal to subside. You sucked in a tight breath, feeling him clamp down on your waist with his arms. “What happened to ten minutes, I gotta go see my parents?”

“Oh… eh… it’s okay,” Jungkook hummed, kissing your neck through your hair. “I made that up anyway.”

Somehow, you had low-key guessed that, but there was no reason to let him get away with it. “I don’t like lying, you know,” you curtly reminded him.

“Sorry…”

He pushed your hair aside with his nose and plopped his head on your shoulder, hugging you tightly with his sweaty body. Your arms were hanging a bit limply in front of you, but that was because of his muscular embrace. It made you feel a bit like a caught kitty cat.

“Don’t do things like that,” you scolded, but he was shoving his nose in your jaw, warm breath and feathering kisses over the curve of your neck while massaging your breasts.

“Sorry… I just wanna be with you,” he murmured breathlessly. “You’re so cute.”

“I’m not cute,” you retorted, burning comfortably and uncomfortably from his touch and words, respectively.

“And pretty. And smart.” He was ignoring you even though he was the one making out with your ear. “I was afraid you would find me annoying…”

“You are freaking annoying,” you confirmed, placing your hands on the backs of his, but not pulling them away. “I told you to tell me when you were horny, not make shit up.”

You could practically hear his pout. “Well, I didn’t know I was until I was driving over here.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

He changed the subject. Classic. “Why do you have to wear clothes?”

“I can’t answer the door naked.”

“But it was me.”

“How would I know that?”

It was hard to describe the comfortable kind of exasperated he made you. A welcome, spontaneous, borderline ridiculous distraction. You somehow managed to get him to untangle himself from you and clean up, his clothes carelessly flung in random places, and you shook your head at him, you’re gonna have to pick those up later, but as soon as he had washed up, Jungkook was pushing you down on your bed, pressing your naked body to his and sighing softly, his hair a floofy mess.

“I didn’t say yes to you spending the night,” you said calmly as he kissed your collarbones, sparks lingering from the contact of his lips. You looked down. “Stop looking at me like that.”

Those round, shining eyes lit up in the semi-darkness of your bedroom.

“Like what?”

Pretending like he didn’t know, uh huh.

You shook your head and tangled one of your hands in his hair, nudging him up.

“Come here.”

He scooted up earnestly. You placed a fingertip on his lower lip as he neared, making him pause breathlessly.

“Is this new?”

You couldn’t miss the sparkling in his gaze as you mentioned it. “Y-Yeah…”

You raised your head and kissed it softly. “Should take good care of it as it heals, mmmm? So let’s just be rough down here…” you breathed, your other hand raking over his thigh, smiling as he flexed under your touch, moaning into your mouth, a sweet taste that you couldn’t stop craving, and yet you had to point it out one more time.

He had the audacity to pretend, after all.

“But we’re not that serious, right?”

Jungkook groaned and shoved his face into your neck as you laughed. “I take it back! Stop being mean…!”

There was just something about his impatient whine.

“Alright, alright…”

Bad decisions were made.

Like staying up until four in the morning fucking.

Ah, shit.

drabbles masterpost | masterpost

#jungkook x reader #bts smut #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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darlingmbappe · 1 year

Text

Out of the Dark | Kylian Mbappé x Plus Size Fem Reader

Summary: Though months of an almost picture-perfect relationship, Kylian still kept you hidden like his own personal secret. How are you supposed to feel like it doesn’t have something to do with how much you weigh?

Warnings: Feelings of being insecure about your weight, slight angst at the beginning, vague sex scene, cussing, not edited very well. Let me know if I missed anything! — English is not my first language —

Masterlist

You’re so proud of him. Truly, he deserves every bit of praise he gets. Even before you’d met him, you followed his career closely, amazed at how someone your age could be accomplishing such monumental achievements. And now, you get to love him intimately, personally tell him how fantastic he is, how much you admire him.

You and Kylian have been together for around eight months, the greatest eight months. It was mutually agreed that your relationship would be kept in the dark from everyone. This seemed like the best idea, what with him having the status he does and you being just an average person. Besides, you’ve never enjoyed the spotlight and we’re happy to keep your weekly grocery store run paparazzi free.

Hidden behind that superficial excuse was the real reason why you were content not being in any tabloids… the bigger body you occupied wasn’t exactly something the media would ignore. You could practically read the headlines already, a reasonable delusion you constantly had to push from your mind in order to stay sane and secure.

It was hard work, learning to love yourself, building up your confidence. You knew you love and accept the body you had, but there was always that little voice in the back of your head saying, ‘am I strong enough to put myself out there like that?’

Kylian seemed relieved when you asked him if the relationship could be kept hush, but now you feel like it’s been too long. You’d brought up the idea of going public after your six month anniversary, but he dismissed it with a quick shake of the head, blaming his agent and how she would freak out if he was announcing a new relationship. She would set him up with dates for all of these events. Models, actresses, and influencers hung on his arm at red carpets while you snuggled alone on the couch, following the events through twitter.

He always assured you that he wished it was you, but it was too complicated. It was a viable excuse at first, but it’s four months away from your one year anniversary. You were tired of dropping hints about beautiful restaurants and romantic spots. You were starting to feel like he wanted to hide you, and not because of his agent would complain or his fans would uproar, but because he was ashamed of you. What a shitty feeling.

“What’s that look, amor?” Kylian asks your reflection in his bathroom mirror.

Not realizing you were lost in thought, you shake your head, leaning against the doorframe. “Nothing.” Smile. “You look great.”

He fixes his tie then turns to you. “Very convincing.”

You try and play it cool, laughing. “No, you seriously look amazing.” It was obvious he didn’t mean that part, but you really don’t feel like having this fight right now.

“So do you.” He grabs your hips, trapping you against him and the door.

Now you really do laugh. “Good one, Ky.”

While he wore a designer suit, you were rocking a pair of boy-short underwear and an oversized hoodie. Kylian was going to another super fancy award ceremony. He was getting a trophy and everything, but you couldn’t be there with him. Instead, he’s going to kiss the cheek of a tall, skinny, gorgeous 21 year old model when his name gets called. She was get to be his date for the night while you — the girlfriend — waited patiently in his bed for him to come home and tell you all about it.

The dynamic of the whole affair sets in, sending a little tang of jealousy and insecurity through your body. He notices how your stare points away from him now as you wiggle out of his grip and trudge towards his bed. Kylian walks toward you as you flip through Netflix without any intention of picking something anytime soon.

“I wish you could come with me.” He offers, his facial expressions ridden with guilt. You respond with a quiet and half-hearted hum, continuing to look through the true crime collection. He picks up your dismissiveness. “You know I do.”

“Mhm.” You didn’t mean the sarcastic tone behind it, it was just a natural reaction.

He sighs loudly, scratching his neck. “If you want to say something, say something. I can’t read your mind.” You continue to flip through shows and movies, trying to mask the sad expression that you surely couldn’t hide much longer. “We agreed to this. We both wanted it this way.”

“Eight months ago.” You add, looking at him now. He looked annoyed, like this conversation was a burden to have. “At some point I want to get out of this house. I feel like we should, I don’t know… rethink that whole part of our relationship.”

“This again?” He shuffles to the corner to grab his shoes with a huff. “You know how complicated that would be. You would hate attention like that.”

“Maybe I would.” You sit up in your spot while he sits at the foot of the bed, his back facing you. “So what? I might not love the attention but at least we get to go out to dinner, or take a walk together, or I could hug you after a match, or act like we’re together at all!”

He finishes putting his shoes on, still facing away from you. Kylian doesn’t say anything back for a while. You just waited for him, he had to say something eventually. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Not what you wanted to hear.

You nod silently, but that hurt. You watched him grab his phone and wallet on the nightstand as he prepared to leave so he can pick up his literal runway model of a date.

“Are you ashamed of me?” The words came out of your mouth without your permission, but there they were — shifting the mood of the entire conversation without a second of mercy.

He looks back, his eyes rid of any annoyance and replaced with something kind of depressing, a look you’ve never seen from him before. He opens his mouth right as his phone rings, he looks down at it regretfully, sighing out. “One second.” He murmers sorely before he answers it.

You bit the inside of your cheeks to keep the tears at bay. Crying seems like the last thing you want to do right now. You turn your attention back to scrolling through the now very blurry movies on Netflix. He mumbles something about being right down and hangs up. “I…”

“Yeah, yeah. Go.” You assured and bite your cheek harder, feeling the tears right there. “Can’t be late. Not a good look. I get it.” There was a clear harshness behind your permission.

“We’ll talk about this, alright?” He fidgets, making his way to you, kissing your forehead. You feel a tear fall and you wipe it just as quickly, not looking at him. “Hey,” he coos, lifting your chin up wo finally meet his stare. “I am not ashamed of you.” He wipes the tear and kisses your nose. “Okay?”

You nod, sniffling and casually wiping another stray tear away, offering a weak nod. “Okay.”

Kylian felt wrong for walking out at that moment. He knew you wanted to go public but never knew that you were feeling this way. It was something he wanted to unpack, something he wanted to make you feel better about.

That question drove him insane all night. His steak tasted dull, his wine tasted bitter, his date looked like nothing compared to you. She twirled her hair and batted her lashes, assuming he was single. Why wouldn’t she? Nothing in recent news even hinted at any kind of romance going on in the star footballers life, but he knew the truth. He knew who he had waiting for him under his covers, and she deserved better than what he was giving her.

The night crawled by, achingly clapping along with the crowd without really listening to what the applause could be about. After accepting his award, he only wished he could find you in the sea of strangers from the stage. He just wanted to go home. Lay with you, hold your hand, let you know his intentions.

Of course he’d thought about this secret relationship from your perspective. It’s weird, needing a date and not being able to take you, even if you were his girlfriend. He couldn’t help but wonder how he’d feel if the roles were reversed.

They kind of were once, and he hated that feeling with a burning passion. Your office held a Christmas party last year and everyone had to bring a date… something about even numbers for one of the holiday games they’d planned out. You mentioned it in passing that you were going with Neil, the handsome budget analysts that you considered to be one of your good friends. Kylian wanted to pick a fight so bad. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t like you going with someone else… but he couldn’t. You’d endured countless news articles pondering if he was dating one of the many women that accompany him, helped him look spiffy for these events, kissed him goodbye as he went to eat a nice dinner with hot models and actresses. How would that be fair?

Hours went by and you didn’t feel the need to wait up for him. These events could drag on for hours past your bedtime, and your mood tonight in particular didn’t feel up to listening to all the glorious details that he makes out to sound dreadful… free cocktails, gourmet food, meeting celebrities, making new friends… there were only so many ways to complain about it before it started sounding disingenuous. The more you thought about it the later it got, quickly time spiraled out of your control, finding yourself watching the busy streets of Paris through the open window from the bed. The frustration you felt when your eyes closed and all you saw was Kylian arm in arm with girls that weren’t you put a dreadful feeling in your stomach.

It couldn’t have been later than 1 o’clock in the morning when Kylian returned, his tie loosened, top buttons undone, jacket almost dragging on the ground as he trudged up the stairs, leaving the shiny new trophy by the door.

It’s kind of insane to him how on long days like these he craves your touch, your comfort. He never thought of himself as someone who could be dependent on another person, at least not in this time of his life. With his priorities set on becoming a legendary football star, he didn’t necessarily set aside time for romance, but you just… happened. Someone so unlike the others, your charm reeling him in until he knew he was done for. Helpless.

The pressure of the public eye is brutal. He knows first hand how the media can ruin a relationship, no matter how strong the pillars you stand on are. They find ways to chip you down, make you doubt everything, make you doubt yourself. You were innocent to it all. He wanted to keep you that way. Selfish, sure, but he knew it would eventually cause some vicious issues down the line. It happens every time.

As he walked through the bedroom door, the shape of your silhouette under the covers tugged on his heart. Though his brain was begging him to wash up in the bathroom and go to sleep, his feet lead him to your side of the bed.

He crouched down at eye level with you, petting a gentle hand on top of your head, taking his time to really look at your face. You eyes slowly opened, he offered a tiny smile that he didn’t even realize grew on his face.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, amour.” He cooed, running his thumb over your cheek.

“I can’t sleep.” You groggily respond, closing your eyes at his touch.

He leaned over, kissing your forehead continuously without pulling away. “I’ll come to bed in a second.” He mumbled against your skin before standing, taking off his uncomfortable outfit on the way. He made quick time brushing his teeth and washing his face, changing into a clean pair of boxer briefs before crawling into his spot next to you.

Without thinking twice, his hands latched around your waist, pulling your bodies close together and spooning you with his face nuzzled into your hair.

You were hyperaware of everything. The way that his hand landed on the puff of your stomach, the amount of room you took up on your half of the bed, the roll that formed when you laid on your side like you were. At the beginning of the relationship that’s all you could think about whenever Kylian wrapped his arms around you. It took you a while to not tense up and let yourself melt into his touch, but tonight you were taken back to the beginning. The questioning if you were ever going to be good enough. If you’d ever be taken seriously as a couple. If people thought you two looked weird together, that he could do better than you.

“You’re beautiful.” Kylian eased, snapping you out of your thoughts. He felt your muscles tight under your skin, he just wanted you to relax. “I mean it, (Y/N).”

You didn’t say anything back, gulping to try and get rid of the panicky lump in your throat. He kissed the shell of your ear, reaching his hand under your T-shirt and letting it land on your bare stomach.

You tensed up more, instinct telling you to get up and go to the bathroom or something to get out of this situation.

“Stop, bébé.” He clicked once feeling your squirming. “Let me hold you.”

The longer the two of you stayed silent, listening to each others breathing, basking in the warmth you both provided, you felt more at ease. He shifted slightly, letting himself look down on you while holding himself up on his forearm.

He touched your cheek, tracing tour eyelashes with his thumb. “I’m taking you out to a nice dinner tomorrow night.”

You furrowed your brows. “Out?”

“Mhm.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “That new Thai restaurant you told me about last week.”

The tears swarmed your eyes, a wave of happiness surging through your body like electricity. “Really?” Your voice came out squeaky, laced in weary excitement.

He smiled down at you, kissing your grin onto his own face. “Of course.”

“Oh, baby…” You coo, grabbing his face in your own hands, letting some of the tears run down the side of your face. “Thank you.”

Kylian wiped them away sweetly. “Don’t thank me. I should have done this a while ago. I shouldn’t have kept you hidden away all to myself for this long. It wasn’t fair to you, I’m sorry.”

You pulled his neck down and kissed his passionately, but the pace was slow. Eventually, your tongues greeted each other expertly, his legs climbed over to lay his body on yours, his hand roamed under your shirt to feel your bare tits. It wasn’t long before you both got rid of the minimal layers keeping you apart, desperate to feel safe in each others touch.

He was gentle, loving, caressing every inch. Kylian spent extra time loving on the places he knew you overthought about. The ones that people would point out in the past. He kissed and licked them while praising you, leaving marks to remind you how he felt about you. All of you.

You attempted to roll over and have him take you from behind, but he pushed you down. “I wanna see your face. Wanna watch you. Wanna look at you.” He was borderline incoherent, but completely lucid. He said all the right things, forgetting completely about the surefire wave of trouble that would be headed your way tomorrow night.

Kylian was drunk on your sweet sounds. The continued “ah, ah, ah”’s that escaped your plumped lips drove him insane, cumming inside your shaking walls while watching the pleasure grow on your scrunched face. You came while clutching his biceps, closing your eyes tightly in euphoria.

He cleaned you both up, wiping you down with a wet rag before laying back next to you. This time, he pulled you into his chest while he laid on his back, feeling your body now comfortable and relaxed, listening to your soft snores that tickled his bare chest.

The next morning, Kylian’s side of the bed was empty, but the vague memory of his sweet kiss that landed on your forehead before he left send butterflies to your stomach. The much clearer memory of dinner plans tonight erupted another wave of them, motivating you to get the day started as soon as possible, needing to get home and prep for a night you’ve been waiting for for way too long.

On the doorstep of your humble townhome sat a big white box, a pink letter taped to the top with your name written nicely on top. It was obviously Kylian’s penmanship; neat but a little wonky. You giggled to yourself, bringing the box inside and opening the envelope.

To my sweet (Y/N),

You will look so beautiful tonight. I can’t wait to see you. Be ready by 7:30.

I love you, bébé.

-Kyks

You pressed the card dramatically to your chest, humming at the sweetness overload from your boyfriend. Though you wanted to relish in that moment, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to see what the hell was in the box.

“Oh, wow…” You gasp as you catch the first glimpse of the dress that sat neatly on the tissue paper. You pulled it out, putting it against your body. It was a pink floral midi dress, form-fitting at the top, looser on the skirt and a slit that ran down the side. It was gorgeous. Perfect. Thank god that Kylian has a sense of style or else you’d be making your debut in an ugly outfit… Even better, you were thankful he knew your size because that thing fit like a glove. Goddamn… you look so sexy in this.

Time flies, it really does. Especially when your brain is working overtime thinking about the absolute worst things that could happen. You couldn’t stop yourself from taking two shots of tequila to calm your jittery nerves, hoping the shaking in your hands or the knot in your stomach would subdue before the knock on the door came. But, alas, it came…

You took a deep breath in the mirror, checking yourself from head to toe. Confidence is something you had to build, and it’s so much harder than people make it out to be. Fake it ‘till you make it can only take you so far, the rest is real work, especially in a world that praises people who look the opposite of you.

You’d hear your thinner friends complain about how fat they looked right in front of you, as if you didn’t have to live in that reality every single day. It was like their worst nightmare was looking like you. They’d tell you “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” As if you couldn’t be both. You’d walk closely to the wall and try and take up the most minimal amount of space possible — as if you could hide your size, feeling like every judgmental eye was on you all the time.

It was the little things that added up (along with the more brutal comments you’d get through life), but your skin was thick. Thick, yes. Unbreakable? You were about to find out. As soon as you stepped out under the mercy of the public eye with him… you’ll be tested how much you can actually take. How much this relationship could actually take.

You swung the door open to reveal the most handsome sight you’d ever seen. Kylian wore an all black suit. You thought to yourself that this must be what the models of the past were used to opening their doors to. Now, it’s finally your turn.

Kylian was holding a bouquet of flowers that matched your dress, showing off a huge smile. He seemed like he wanted to speak words, but his eyes spoke for him, much louder than anything his voice could come up with.

He eyed you up and down, a visible gulp making you want to retreat into yourself shyly. “Hi.” You meeped, cheeks sore from the smile you couldn’t shake.

Kylian cleared his throat, blowing out a raspberry. “You…”

He continued to eye you, walking in slowly as you shut the door behind him. “You did good with this dress.” You complimented, taking the flowers from his hands and walking them to your sink to grab a vase.

“The dress is just a dress, amour.” He growled, watching your backside like a lion would his lioness, infatuated with every curve and crease your body created under the material. “You in that dress? Tu blagues?” Are you kidding me? He stood behind you, wrapping his arms around your stomach and kissing your shoulder. “Oh lá lá…”

You laughed, lulling back into his touch, basking in his warm and secure embrace. “You always say the right things, Mbappé.”

He hums, unwrapping his arms and taking the flowers you were cutting from your hands, taking over the process. You stepped back and watched him as he filled the vase up with water, dropping them in with precision, one by one until they displayed beautifully.

He set them next to the bottle of tequila and shot glass you'd left out. He raised an eyebrow at you.

You shrugged. "For the nerves."

"Ah..." He nods, opening the cabinet and grbbing a tiny glass for himself, pouring the golden liquid into each one, holding one out to you. "To nerves of steel." You clinked your glasses, throwing your heads back and shivering as it went down. With a grimace, he shook off the taste of the drink. "Ready?"

Your mouth was dry despite the liquid that still lingered in your mouth. You inhaled deeply, faking a smile on your face while grabbing your purse. "Yep."

Kylian sensed the waver in your confirmation, reaching out to hold both your hands. "They're going to say whatever they're going to say. We can't control their thoughts on our relationship." He kissed your knuckles and all the rings you'd decorated your fingers with. "But we can't let them keep controlling us."

"I love you." You say, looking deep into your man's eyes and thinking about all the emotions you've seen them hold. The frustration after a loss. The playfulness before sex. The adoration during the first I love you that slipped his tongue. The relief that washed away the anxious look when you said it back.

"Your carriage awaits, princesse." He takes your purse and hold your hand, leading you both to the door that he opened for you.

You thanked him as he helped you into the large town car, running around to the other side and sat next to you.

As you neared the restaurant, his hand never leaving your thigh, you just looked at him, taking in every ounce of his being.

He wasn't ashamed of you. He loved you. He cared, he listened, he was perfectly yours. You knew no matter the things you'd surely read about yourself, the things you'd surely think about yourself at times, that Kylain would be a constant. This new chapter might bring some hard times, but you'll stand with Kylian. And he'd stand with you. You knew he would.

A/N: Plus sized ladies never get nearly enough representation on this platform. Hope you all enjoyed, this is something I wrote from my own feelings/experiences being plus sized! Love you all so much.

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whxre-bxby · 1 year

Text

Hate-Fucking with Mansk

THANK YOU FOR 1K Followers you guys deserve the world!

Recom Mansk x Recom f. Y/N

I will be making one with Lyle thanks to the great plot idea from @onlyreadz

Masterlist

Summary: Mansk has been attracted to you since you were human. As a newly recruited recombinant, he was ready to focus on the mission but your presence distracts him. A hatred for you builds up in him along with frustration and one evening, it all comes out and he can't help himself but deal with you.

WARNINGS: SMUT, man-handling, degrading, mean Mansk, filthy language, violence, fighting, angst, non-con (a little), hurt/comfort,

Side rant: this shit took me ages, enjoy (made with love)

Word Count: 9760

Today was the day the recombinant plan was being put into action. This was a major breakthrough for the RDA and their best hope of finding Jake Sully.

Since the recom’s had the memories of soldiers and were now much bigger than humans, they needed to be woken up in groups so that the medical staff could tend to them all. All of them were therefore woken separately to ensure everyone's safety and prevent chaos.

Mansk was in the first group along with Lopez, Warren, and Walker. Everything went well there and once they had been medically checked they were allowed to leave and dress themselves in their uniforms.

They were told to wait in the cafeteria until everyone was awake. Mansk had a hard time adapting to his new body but he kept it to himself. His friend managed to distract him from it too.

The second group was slightly more chaotic. But what did they expect when they had Lyle and Miles in the same room? Quaritch apparently delivered a solid punch to Lyle’s face which was well deserved because that is not the first thing one wants to wake up to. Especially not after one’s memories have the Na’vi categorised under the clear enemy. Nothing huge happened and soon they joined the others in the cafeteria.

The group you were in was the last group but you were woken at the same time as the second one, just in a different room.

Let’s just say that chaos was very much present there too. You woke up along with Ja, Prager, and Brown and Ja did the same thing Lyle did to Brown. Brown was known for being fast to act on his instincts so Ja wasn’t just punched, he was put in a chokehold.

While this whole commotion was happening your eyes were opening and the noise startled you, making you sit up. There was a human next to you trying to keep you laying down but it didn’t really work. You scanned the room, watching 2 Na’vi males roll around on the floor while a third tried pulling them apart and obviously, you freaked out. Before they knew you were awake you screamed, jumping off the side of the bed. The fighting stopped for a second as they looked at you. Prager hurried over to you, trying to calm you down and introduce himself but you weren’t having it.

The pause in the fight was used to Brown’s advantage as he pulled Ja to his feet and they slammed up against a screen attached to the ceiling. It broke off, swinging to you and the edge of it hit your jaw.

Prager stepped closer than you wanted and the heart-beat detecting monitor next to you was launched at him. Prager ducked the heavy equipment and it flew right past Brown’s head who had let go of Ja in shock. Ja had rolled him over now, yelling at his previous friend while Prager was shouting at you to stop damaging the equipment.

He called your name which confused you and soon you remembered that you were supposed to wake up like this.

Y/N’s POV:

“Oh fuck- Prager I’m sorry.” I said, clasping my face in my hands and gathering myself.

He tried comforting me while pulling Ja off of Brown and eventually, everyone had calmed down.

The medics tried patching up my bruised jaw and bleeding nose but it hurt more so I left to get dressed. We were given new uniforms and then given permission to leave and meet the others.

When we arrived, Quaritch was already giving everyone a pep-talk. Ja flung the door open stepping inside. Brown put his hand on his shoulder in an apologetic manner for the punches but Ja pushed his hand away, still mad.

The room went silent as we walked in. Brown followed Ja inside and both of them had bruises and small cuts. I walked in after Brown, holding a bloody tissue to my nose and Prager was behind me to watch out for us.

No one else was injured. Just Lyle had suffered a punch. Fike apparently too. Seeing us all walk in was like watching soldiers return from war and Quaritch sighed. Maybe this team would kill itself before he could order us to step outside.

Lyle broke the silence by laughing, getting up and examining Brown before laughing more. I wasn’t in the mood for his jokes so I sat down next on the bench, ears tipped back. I noticed through the tattoos and some facial features that I was sitting next to Z-Dog who was already grinning at me. I scoffed at her amused reaction and she pressed me against her before biting her lip.

“What the fuck happened?” she asked, making me show her my bleeding nose while she and Walker suppressed laughter.

“Don’t wanna talk about it.” I say, shrugging it off. It was embarrassing.

“Lyle got punched by the Colonel.” she whispered and I looked at her wide-eyed before wheezing.

“No way.” I say, looking at Lyle who had now sat down too. She nodded and I gave in.

“Brown had Ja face-down on the ground.” I whisper back, smiling. “And I thought Prager was going to kill me.”

She held a fist in front of her mouth as we both grinned. “They threw a TV at me.” I add to her amusement and she laughs.

“Assholes.” I whisper jokingly. Everyone settles down and Quaritch begins explaining our mission.

Third Person POV:

Your group walked into the room and everyone had examined you all, noting the injuries and the tension. Mansk recognised his former colleagues, smiling to himself when he saw how they messed each other up. Then his eyes moved on to you and his smile was swiped clean off.

He stared and his heart stopped beating for a moment. Of course, Mansk remembered you. You were his main and secret problem as a human. He didn’t know you had signed up for the Phoenix project.

His eyes stayed fixated on you as you sat down and he scanned all your features. As you talked to Z-Dog, Lopez nudged him in the side with a chuckle.

“Not even a minute in and you’re back on ‘er.” he whispered and Mansk’s eyes shot to him while he flattened his ears back.

“Shut up.” Mansk shrugged him off, looking down at his feet. Lopez knew that he used to like you before.

Mansk had a thing for you when you were humans but he never told you and you never knew. He didn’t plan on telling you now either. The plan was to do what he did before: suppress his feelings and ignore you as best he could. He wasn’t able to ignore you before but now this was going to be a new version of Mansk. A better one, he told himself. This time, he would avoid you.

Mansk needed to set his priorities straight. He was on a mission here which involved some personal conflict for he knew Jake too and wanted revenge. He hated the Na’vi and was ready to give this mission his all. No distractions. That wouldn’t happen this time. He also hated that his attraction to you stayed even in your Avatar form.

Y/N’s POV:

We had landed on Pandora now.

The next day we were getting our gear ready for the mission and I was given a gun I’d never seen before. I wasn’t familiar with this type of weapon because this wasn’t the one we would ever use. They probably created new guns while we were gone. I held it, examining the firearm and trying to figure out how to load it and with what.

Everyone else was busy with their stuff, except for Mansk who was leaning against a table next to his finished and clean guns. I remembered him. I think we might have even been quite good friends. One of the things I remember about him was that he knew his weapons. He could definitely help me with mine.

I grab my stuff and walk over to him. He’s wearing his shades and only looks at me once I’m right next to him.

“Hey,” I smile. “Can you help me with this? I don’t know how to load it.” I say, laying out my weapon which seemed to have three parts. I expected this to be a good ice-breaker and from then on we could have a nice conversation and catch up on things. But no.

He just tilted his head to the side to look at my gun, then at me and then he looked away.

“You should know how.” he replied, his voice low and cold. Mansk then reached for his things and left, exiting the room without another word.

I stood there watching him leave, surprised by his answer. We used to always talk. What was that about?

Either way, I found his reaction unnecessary. We’re meant to help each other and he was being an asshole. Mansk better have a good explanation for that otherwise I’ll be pissed. Maybe something happened, so I’ll let it slide once.

Something similar happened that evening. We were once again in the cafeteria specifically made for the recombinants and I had just gotten my food.

Zdinarsk was the closest person in here to me so I was obviously going to sit with her. We had large tables for multiple people to sit on at once and I spotted her next to Lyle. As I’m walking to her I notice Mansk is opposite Lyle and the only space free is opposite Z-Dog which is next to him.

Maybe he will apologise now and tell me what got him in such a bad mood.

Without thinking much of it, I put my tray down on the table and Zdinarsk smiles at me before continuing to listen to the conversation between Lyle and Prager who was on the other side of Mansk.

I sit down and notice Mansk glance at me from the corner of my eye. He freezes, looking away and tightly clenches his fist around the knife he’s holding. I’m unwrapping my food and suddenly, he stands up in silence and swipes his tray from the table, leaving us all startled.

Mansk walked away and I felt him glare at me as he turned away and walked to another table.

Zdinarsk and I exchange glances.

“What’s up with him?” Lyle asks chuckling and taking a bite out of his bread. They watched him walk off and I huffed, wiping my hand over my face.

“No idea. He’s being a real dick.” I mumble, arranging the food on my plate.

“Really? He was just joking around with us a minute ago.” Zdinarsk said and I looked up at her. Maybe he wasn’t just in a bad mood. Perhaps my gut feeling was right. Mansk might really dislike me for whatever reason.

“I think he hates me.” I say, looking down and starting my meal.

“What you do?” she asks, her eyes flicking between Mansk and me. He’s sat at the table behind me, his back facing mine. Lyle and Prager are quietly listening. Lyle loved listening to all the drama and the news. It was his guilty pleasure. In a way, he was a gossip girl.

As humans, I could be ranting about my ex to Z-Dog and he would be standing with us, eating his protein bars and just listening with wide eyes.

“Nothing. Literally nothing.” I say and she stays silent in thought for a while before we all shrug it off and start talking about something else.

Today we had started the mission and we were sent out into the forest of Pandora. Roughly in the area, the last battle took place. It was all very familiar and even though there was beautiful scenery all around us, it haunted me. I died on these grounds a few years back…

We were walking in line, following Quaritch and Lyle who were leading the way.

“Alright team, we’re runnin’ out of time so we need to split up te’ cover more ground.” Quaritch said, turning around and resting one hand on his vest while the other held his gun. Lyle nodded, looking at us before Quaritch quickly counted down the line, pointing two of his fingers at his soldiers to divide us up into pairs. At least he wasn’t calling out our names, then it would feel like we’re back in school.

Mansk stood frozen as I watched Quaritch quickly point the two of us together. He looked around and everyone was already walking off in pairs while the Colonel turned around, leaving with Lyle.

Great…

I had my own mission for the next hour: to make this the worst most unpleasant hour Mansk has experienced. He was getting some payback for how he treated me before. I don’t let things like that just slide.

He was tense and his ears pinned back flat against his head as he huffed, looking at me. I gave him an innocent smile which I knew would piss him off. It did and he turned away, walking in the direction we were supposed to go in.

If he doesn’t start a fight I won’t bother him. But I’m sure he’ll have something to say before our time ends.

I followed him in silence, looking around and holding my weapon steady.

After about 15 minutes of hearing nothing but the sounds of the forest, the first comment came from him.

“Walk faster.” he said, not even bothering to turn around. I stop and my ears perk forwards as I process his words. Who does he think he is?

“I’m right behind you.” I snap back, rolling my eyes. “Dipshit.” I mumble.

His ears react to the insult and he turns around. “What?”

“Dipshit.” I repeat in a mocking way, making his brows furrow in irritation behind his stupid shades. I walk past him, refusing to waste another second of my time dealing with him.

“Quit it, you’ll ruin the mission.” he says, starting to walk behind me now with his ears strained again.

“Oh really?” I say, waving my arms. “How?”

I turn to face him and as I do I slightly stumble over a root in the path. Mansk raises an eyebrow at me.

“Actin’ like that.” he replies, motioning to my leg. Now my ears are flattened back and my tail flicks in annoyance as I glare at him.

“Like your behaviour is so much better. Take your stupid shades off and then we’ll see who’s talking.” I call out, turning around again and walking away.

That got under his skin. “Take it back.” he growls, following me again.

“Like, apologise? No way. If any one of us needs to apologise it’s you.” I sneer in response.

I hear him scoff in annoyance too. My attitude was frustrating him but I didn’t care because he was such a pain in my ass.

“Yeah? For what?” he asks, watching me walk in front of him.

“For being such an ass to me for no reason. The fuck did I do?” I ask, stopping and turning to face him. I really wanted to know.

He scowled at me before just ignoring what I said and walking further. I let out a frustrated groan.

“Fucking answer.” I call after him, fighting the urge to call him a ‘hormonal bitch’. Damn was he lucky I was restraining myself.

“Shut up and walk.” he mutters with an ice-cold tone.

“You’re being such a moron. We used to be friends.” I say, looking down while continuing to walk straight ahead. My body bumps into his and then I realise that he stopped in his tracks, facing me.

He was towering over me, a stern expression dressing his face.

“We weren’t friends. You were a pain in my ass. Always clueless. Never knowin’ what to do and never doin’ it right.” he snarled at me and his harsh words startled me, making me take a step back. I didn’t expect that.

“How you got chosen for this mission is a fuckin’ mystery te’ me, airhead.” He added, walking up on me and staring me down before walking off again.

I wanted to shout an insult back at him but deep down his words hurt me. I stood still for a few moments, repeating what he just said to me and it made my heart ache. My memories told me we used to be great friends. Why were his so different?

Mansk almost disappears behind the trees so I start walking again,re-adjusting some of the gear I had on. After about five minutes I catch up to him again but we walk in silence. When we turn a corner I notice Mansk stopped walking again.

“For fuck’s sake what is it now?” I complain, wanting to push past him until I hear a loud snort and huff. I freeze myself as Mansk and I slowly look up, meeting eyes with a huge animal.

I immediately recognise it. It’s an elephant-sized cow creature. The one that crushed Lyle. It’s almost roaring at us and Mansk stretches his arm out in front of me, pushing me back.

The purple feather-like parts on its head move around and I realise it is displaying a territorial warning. The one Jake, Grace and Norm dealt with in the forest. Grace taught me all about it.

Mansk curses under his breath before grabbing my vest and tugging me back.

“Run.” he shouts but I push him off of me.

He doesn’t understand and gets frustrated with me, wondering why I wasn’t going with him. I turn back to the creature and throw my gun down on the ground next to me. It wouldn’t help in any scenario here. Mansk didn’t know that and I heard bullets soar through the air. They pushed off of the animal's thick skin, not harming it. The action just made it angrier.

“Don’t you dare shoot at it.” I snarl at him while the animal backs up. “You’ll make it worse.”

He’s watching me with wide eyes, standing a few feet behind me.

“Put the gun down, Mansk!” I shout, watching as he hesitates. My attention returns to the animal and it has finished backing up now. I steady myself on the ground, placing one foot in front of the other and watching it. It takes off, running towards us at full speed and I take a step forward, snarling at it and baring my fangs.

Mansk’s heart drops in fear as it nears us.

It comes to a halt barely in front of me, quickly backing up and huffing. I watch it for a while, not moving from my position. It watches me, waiting for me to retreat but I don’t, so it turns and leaves. The tall grass rustles as the animal turns away and I straighten my posture, watching it until it’s fully gone.

I turn to look at Mansk who looks completely shocked. His expression makes me scoff.

“Clueless airhead, huh?” I say, giving him a shit-eating grin before picking up my gun and resuming our walk. “Look at you hiding behind me like a bitch.”

His perked ears tip back again as I resume the argument.

He watches me with wide eyes before quickly following. I knew he was confused but he wouldn’t ask so I might as well enlighten him with the things I do know.

“That was a Hammerhead Titanothere. They’re not usually aggressive. It was just a territorial warning display.” I say and I know very well he is listening.

“Shooting it is useless. They have bulletproof skin. You just need to stand your ground when it does that.” I continue to explain, not looking behind me.

Now I turn around, just to mock him. “You see, I’m not good at loading these stupid guns and yet my chances of survival here are still bigger than yours.” I smile at him and he shoots me a glare.

It amazed Mansk how well you handled that situation. Of course, he wouldn’t ever say that. But you had climbed a rank in his eyes. That didn’t change how much he despised you though. He despised your attitude even though it was his fault you were giving it to him. Mansk hated how easily you would get him distracted and how you never seemed to understand his grudge against you.

We returned to the meeting area and no one found anything. The mission was called off for the day and we returned to Bridgehead. I didn’t speak to Mansk on the way back at all. Why should I? He wasn’t just rude anymore he was unnecessarily mean to me.

Later that evening, I was back in the gym. The gym was its own separate building with very bright lights. Everyone had left because everyone gets up early. I couldn’t sleep though because I felt so frustrated and angered, I needed to let it out somewhere. The unlucky boxing bag was getting it all. I was able to properly let my emotions out because no one else was in here with me. The recom’s had their own gym because we needed bigger equipment. And everyone had gone to bed.

I wanted to scream my lungs out as I delivered punch after punch to the bag but I knew someone would hear me, thinking it was an emergency.

I continued beating the shit out of the boxing sack when I heard the main door click open. My arms reached for the bag to still it and I held onto it to stay on my feet while turning around to see who had entered the gym. I had hair sticking to my face and my chest was heaving while beads of sweat decorated my blue skin.

My eyes met the eyes of Mansk who was standing in front of the door with his hands in his joggers. My ears immediately pin back which secretly amuses him.

I watch him for a few seconds, wondering what he’s doing here but he doesn’t move or do anything. He isn’t even wearing his usual training clothes.

“The fuck you want?” I ask, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand which was in a boxing glove.

Mansk scoffed and looked at the ground for a second in thought before scanning the empty gym. He was wearing his damned shades again. They made him look meaner.

“Nothin’.” he said, facing forwards again. I didn’t like whatever he was up to. My eyes linger on him for a little while longer in an attempt to read his mind before I turn away, taking my gloves off.

“Done already?” he asked from somewhere behind me, walking closer. I roll my eyes and sigh, trying to pull myself together so that I won’t snap at him.

“I’ve been here for over 2 hours. Yes, I’m done.” I snarl, refusing to look at him.

“Don’t let me intimidate you.” he said with a breathy laugh and I knew he was smirking to himself right now. Mansk was surprisingly talkative with me. Definitely not in a pleasant way but he was a very distanced and quiet person in general. Maybe he just needed me to know how much he disliked me.

I scoff. “Yeah, right. Like you could ever.”

Mansk exhales a huff through his nose as tension builds in the air.

“Maybe if you weren’t so rude I could take you more seriously.” I say, throwing the gloves to the ground and heading to the showers.

“I’m rude?” he asks, now standing on the large rubber mat I was training on. It was a big square designed for boxing and sparring.

“Nooo.” I reply, sarcastically. Mansk hated sarcasm.

“Fuck- why do you have to be like this.” He mumbled, brushing his nose with his finger. I stop walking and turn around.

“What did you say?” I ask, awaiting an answer as I stand with my weight shifted on one leg and my arms crossed in front of my chest.

Mansk didn’t answer which made me huff in annoyance. Why did he even come here?

I walked over to him, getting back in the ring and leaning on the side ropes so I could look at him properly. His ears perked forwards, paying me attention while his eyes followed my movements.

“If you came here just to get on my nerves you can leave.” I say, not allowing myself to look away. My tail swished behind me, showing my pent-up frustration with him. His one did the same and his ears pinned back.

“Or you can tell me why the fuck you’re like this.” I add, giving him the options I can think of until another idea enters my mind.

“Or…” I say, not necessarily meaning this seriously. “ you can fight me.” I press my body further into the elastic railing fencing in the boxing ring while a mischievous grin paints my face. He was probably going to walk away.

Mansk seemed surprised by my words, not moving for almost a minute as he thought. I was about to turn away and walk to the showers again when I heard his voice.

“Fine.” Was all he said as he walked towards me. I backed up and he entered the ring with me.

“Don’t respond with just ‘fine’. I’m gracing you with the option to finally be close to me, so you can stop being an ass.” I joke, turning away from him and I hear him fucking growl.

I freeze, turning around to him again. He looks really pissed.

“Oh no, I’m so intimidated now.” I mock him, ridiculing his stern expression.

“Shut the fuck up.” he snarls, making my ears perk forward at his aggressive reaction.

I snort. “What do you want me to say? ‘Make me’?”

He cracks his neck and rolls his shoulders back. “Sure.”

“In your dreams, jerk.” I snap at him, taking the opposite corner.

This was a great opportunity in my eyes. He agreed to it and I would finally be able to punch the shit out of him. ‘Legally’.

He was staring me down, waiting for any sudden movement I would make which would trigger him to pounce.

“You gonna count down?” he asks eagerly, fighting himself to stay still.

“When you grow a pair.” I spit my words and that’s all he can take.

Mansk lunges forwards, running to me with quick steps. I dodge his first punch by moving to the side and then grab his left arm, twisting it. He groans and then one of his hands is gripping my wrist. I let go of him and his now free hand wraps around the back of my neck. He swiftly turns me around so that I’m no longer facing him and within the next second, my knee is kicked in and I fall down a level. He holds me up by my neck while both my knees hit the ground but before he can think of what to do next, my legs lock around his ankles and I manage to trip him. He falls back while I turn and straddle him, trying to keep him held down.

“Asshole, you’re breaking all the rules.” I hiss at him, leaning down to his face to emphasize my words and he angrily pushes me off of him. I land on my back and when he’s about to jump on me I roll to the side.

“There’s no fuckin’ rules when I’m fightin’ a bitch.” Mansk gnarled, pushing his upper body off the floor and not taking his eyes off his prey. I sit back on my knees and as he attempts to tackle me down I deliver a punch to the side of his face which brings him out of balance.

“I’m sorry, which one of us was fucking-” I gasp for air “cowering behind the other in the forest today?” I say, recalling him standing behind me when we were almost attacked by the large animal.

He stays still for a few seconds, holding his jaw and breathing heavily. I didn’t manage to hit him properly because he slightly moved out of the way, meaning it couldn’t hurt too much. However, it was still a punch and it felt good.

He growled again, turning to me and as he lunged forward, his hand caught my ankle. Immediately he pulled me to him. My free leg kicked his shoulder back but his posture was stable and he pinned them to the ground. His hand then grasped my queue, forcing me to turn around while I leaned on my forearms, refusing to lay down flat on the ground. I was facing the ground while struggling to hold myself up. Mansk was towering above me, one hand still firmly holding my queue while the other pulled my left arm out from beneath me, pinning it down against the ground.

“You mean the one time you wore almost nothin’?” he snarled, moving up my body and pressing his knee down on my leg to eliminate the possibility of me getting up. I sensed sarcasm when he brought up the ‘one time’, which was rare for Mansk to use.

His words confused me and I stopped struggling for a second to think about them.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I say, clearly distressed and resuming my fight of attempting to push him off.

“Fuckin’ look at you. You wear nothin’ but this excuse of a bra and these tight shorts.” Mansk growled. Tight shorts? Someone’s been paying attention.

I did always wear the same type of clothes. Similar to Walker actually except that her pants were longer than mine. I didn’t think much of it because Na’vi wear loincloths and chest pieces that barely cover anything. So why should we?

Our bodies were different now, adapted to the climate of Pandora, not the air-conditioned base we stayed in. We were used to the warmth.

I push myself up and off the ground with my right arm.

“It’s weather appropriate.” I snap back, glancing over my shoulder as I pin my ears flat against my head.

Mansk tightens his grip on my queue, tugging me up before almost slamming me down into the ground so that I was now pressed flat against it.

“Well it’s not workplace appropriate.” he opposes, pushing his words through clenched teeth.

I whine in pain while Mansk lets go of my wrist, placing his hand down on my shoulder. He was leaning on his arms which ensured that I would stay on the ground.

“Oh I’m sorry does it bother you?” I murmur, trying to at least roll over.

“Fuckin’ right it does.” he says and his hand is digging into the skin of my shoulder. I whimper in pain, arching my back to try and have him loosen his grip but he doesn’t.

Luckily, my leg finds his tail, roughly slamming it down and trapping it between my foot and the ground.

Mansk hisses through his clenched jaw, the pain making him retreated his abusing hands. I push myself forwards, lifting the leg that caused him the pain and kicking him in the side so that he would not be restraining my right leg anymore. I succeed, finally free from his grip again.

“Why don’t you go and cry about it to Lyle.” I say, regaining my breath while resting on my hands and knees. Lyle was our team leader and often dealt with our complaints in the past.

He looks up at me and I can tell he is raging. I’ve never seen Mansk this worked up before. No one has.

His tail aggressively flicks behind him as he shakes his hand. “Lyle happens to like it.” he answers, spitting the words like venom. I raise an eyebrow in amusement.

His words surprise me and I grin. “Maybe I should go to his room then.” I say, not thinking much of it. In my mind, I thought insults would get Mansk angrier but somehow the last sentence I spoke did.

“...and tell him about what you’re do-”

I don’t get to finish my sentence because Mansk is back on me. I try to back up but he’s too fast. I’m leaning back on my forearms once again, facing him. My leg attempts to kick him in the face and push him away but he dodges it and it slides over his shoulder. His left hand tightens around my calf, holding it in place on his shoulder.

My eyes widen when I realise my mistake. I was stuck now.

He noticed my wide eyes and even through his anger, this little victory made him grin at me devilishly.

“You ain’t goin’ anywhere.” he growled, flashing me his sharp fangs as his grin widened. I glared at him and then Mansk leaned further forward, making my leg bend rather uncomfortably. His free arms reached forward and he held down my other leg by digging his fingertips into the flesh of my thigh and holding it down.

I hiss through clenched teeth at the pain from his tight grip.

“Thought you were goin’ to put up a bigger fight than this.” he mocked me and I pushed the leg he was holding on his shoulder against him but to Mansk it just felt like a nudge.

“Shut up, I was working out for over 2 hours you dick-” I start complaining, not giving up my struggle. He hushes me, placing his hand over my mouth to shut me up. I freeze, staring at him wide-eyed. What the fuck was he doing?

“See? I like you better when you’re not runnin’ your mouth like-” he starts to say, thinking I calmed down. I didn’t need to hear the stupid things he had to say and without hesitation I bit into his hand, letting my fangs scrape his skin and causing a scratch.

Immediately his hand retreats and he holds it against his side, examining the scratch with perked ears. Then Mansk looks back at me and he’s angry again.

“Try that again and you’ll lose a finger.” I snarl and his ears tip back. Somehow, I loved our new ears. They made it so easy to read one another.

“You won, congratu-fucking-lations, let me go.”

“Nah, don’t think so.” he growled and that devilish smirk was back on his face. “You need to be taught a lesson.”

I snort. “Me? The reason I’m a bitch to you is because you decided to be an ass since day one. And that for no reason at all.”

“No reason?” he scoffs, digging his fingers deeper into my flesh to contain himself.

“Yeah. I didn’t do shit and you’re acting like such a moron that-”

“You fuckin’ distract me Y/N. Can’t do anythin’ when you’re around.” he snarls, making it sound like he’s spitting venom again. “I fuckin’ hate you, your big mouth and you’re poor excuse of fuckin’ clothes.”

My mouth drops open and I try to suppress laughter, but I won’t be able to hold it for long.

Mansk despised so many things about you but not necessarily you. He hated how attracted he was to you and he blamed you for it. For, in his eyes, showing off your body. He was angered by his internal battle of trying to understand why he even felt attracted to an Avatar of a Na’vi. Mansk resents that he can’t get you out of his head and that once he sees you he can’t take his eyes off you.

He was ready to fully devote himself to this mission and get it done once and for all but you are such a big distraction to him. You’re Mansk’s weakness and he used to swear to himself never to have one which makes his hatred for you worse.

I’m biting my lip and looking at Mansk whose chest is heaving. I can see how he’s restraining himself from probably killing me but right now it just seems funny to me.

“Goddamn, you could have bought me a drink first.” I laugh at him, releasing my lip which has my teeth marks imprinted in it.

Soldiers like Mansk amused me and almost seemed stupid to a certain extent. Such a big intimidating man in the military losing a battle to his feelings because he never shares anything with anyone and of course one day it’s all got to come out. And when it does, it’s nasty like this.

People like Quaritch would completely neglect mental health, focusing just on physical appearance and a strong survival mentality. Mansk was similar. The idea of talking to someone about his feelings made him think he was growing weak and that was the thing he dreaded the most.

“If you’re so desperate for me you could have told me and-”

Mansk can’t stand that. His right-hand releases my thigh and quickly wraps itself around my throat making me stop talking.

“You keep talkin’ like that and I won’t be able to hold back.” he warns me. I examine the veins bulging out on his forearm, pumping blood through his body. His neck was strained and I could see his artery. He was really tensed up.

“What makes you think I’d listen to you, jackass?” I snap back, refusing to let him intimidate me.

Mansk can’t help himself anymore. You’re right there, laying beneath him.

He leans down, holding my head in place as I watch in confusion. His lips crash down against mine and after I realise what’s happening, my body seems to respond to him and I kiss him back. It’s not a nice kiss in any way. It’s harsh and our teeth clash at one point. I push his chest away from me, breaking the heated kiss and gasp for air. He seemed even more restless now.

Maybe deep down I was attracted to this menace of a man.

“I’ll make ya listen.” he replies, once again flashing his fangs through a smug look.

“I’d rather die.” I say, pulling my left leg which he let go back to my body. As I retreated it from beneath him and to me, my calf caressed his groin and Mansk tensed up. It took me a while to figure out what just happened and an extra few seconds to come to the conclusion that he was hard to the point that his erection strained his pants.

My mouth drops open and I gulp before my gaze shoots up to him. He’s already looking at me and his ears have drooped but he didn’t let his harsh grip falter. This is definitely not what I expected.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I wheeze but he presses my throat tighter.

The pressure he’s causing makes me uncomfortable and I slap him across the face, almost making his shades fly. Shock engulfs him for a good few seconds and I’m crawling away.

I turn away from him, steadying myself on all fours as I prepare to stand but he’s quicker. In an instant, his hands are back on me and I’m unable to move forwards anymore. Mansk's palms close around my waist as he tugs me back to him.

My ass comes in contact with his lower abdomen as he pulls me towards him and I gasp when I feel him press against me.

“If you don’t move away in the next three seconds I will kill-”

Before I can finish my sentence a stinging slap is delivered to the spot under my ass and above my thigh.

I whimper, clenching my fists together.

“You’re gonna keep you’re dirty lil’ mouth closed and take what I give you. Understood?” he said and I heard him unbuckle his belt. My pupils blew wider as his strong musk flooded my senses.

“I’ll rip your tongue out you-”

Another slap which hurt more than the previous one made me shut up. I clenched my eyes closed, suddenly feeling weak. My body seemed to be responding to his presence against my will, making me almost surrender.

My arms and legs trembled and my tail was no longer hastily flicking around. It stilled and I pulled it under me and between my legs.

His palm was once again holding my queue, grasping it so tightly it made me feel lightheaded.

“Mansk, you asshole-” I murmur while one of my arms gives out beneath me. “You’re so dead.”

My threats fly by him, not bothering the soldier at all. His long-denied emotions have collapsed in on him and that internal war of frustration triggered his new primal senses to come to light. Mine were becoming visible too and it seemed that there was no way to stop this.

My eyes seem to be burdened by a blurriness until Mansk’s touch brings me out of my haze. His free hand is feeling along the waistline of my sports shorts and with a few harsh tugs, he pulls them down my waist and legs along with my panties. My tail is pulled out of the cloth and I bare my fangs, hissing at him as the gym air comes in contact with my refused heat.

Mansk groans, letting go of my queue and grabbing at the flesh of my hips and ass. I raise my tail, making it flick him in the face because I wasn’t giving up just yet. He growls, holding it down against me as he examines my heat-struck body.

“Fuck…” he curses under his breath, exhaling shakily as he holds my thigh and makes me spread my legs wider.

He hated you without a doubt, but fuck you looked so good to him. Everything about your body made him harder and suddenly you seemed so inviting to him, he couldn’t resist.

My ears were pinned back as I was fighting my desire for him and I tried thinking of a way to fight him but my mind was blank at this point.

I felt him let go of my hip and his right hand was placed on my shoulder, holding me steady.

Without any warning whatsoever, Mansk brought his hand up to my shamefully dripping pussy, gliding two of his fingers between my folds. I whimper, hiding my face in my other shoulder while grimacing. I didn’t understand my body.

He rubbed me and naturally, my legs spread wider and my hips followed his movements.

Mansk wanted to say something but he didn’t know what. Your quarrelling feud was still very much ongoing, this was just an exceptional hiccup in the entire fight. One that couldn’t be prevented by either of you.

Suddenly, Mansk pushed both his fingers into me and I jolted forwards at the unexpected intrusion. He kept me still by pulling me back with the hand on my right shoulder and now he leaned over my bent body, starting to finger me. Neither of us were thinking anymore.

I whimpered, stretching my arms out in front of me so that I wouldn’t fall forwards. He wasn’t being gentle either. My body was rocking forwards every time his fingers bottomed out and his pace was rough.

I hiss, baring my fangs again when I start feeling a form of pleasure.

Mansk can’t resist you anymore. He has to take you whether you’re ready or not. If you continue to fight him, he’ll just be rougher.

He pressed himself against my bare skin again, before pulling back and lining himself up with my entrance. I couldn’t even follow what he was doing, my mind was so clouded with lust.

With one hard thrust, Mansk forced himself as deep into me as possible. I cried out in surprise and my body tensed at the foreign feeling.

He groans, finally feeling pleasure wash over him. The long-needed feeling of euphoria was at last flooding his own senses and he needed his release more than anything. My walls were hugging him tightly because my Avatar had never done this before but it made him almost speechless.

“You look like a bitch in heat.” he snarled and I tipped my ears back.

“You-”

He pulled back, drawing his rock-hard dick out before snapping his hips forward once again and starting to fuck me at a brutal pace, making me unable to answer.

I cried out again, not sure if it was in pain or pleasure this time. He wrapped my queue around his hand, making my head tilt back and my back arch against him.

Mansk was losing himself inside you and he bent over you, pressing his chest against your back to ease his longing to be close to you.

His arm was resting next to me as he held me in place, not letting his thrusts falter.

His skin was slapping against mine, no doubt leaving mine reddened and flushed. He dug his fingers into my shoulder to contain and ground himself in reality and I snarled at him, baring through the pain.

Something about the fact that you hated him but still let him do this really turned Mansk on. He wouldn’t be able to explain it but he definitely preferred this with you over soft sex. You didn’t deserve to be treated nicely, not when you dressed like that and talked to him in that way.

I wanted to throw an insult at him but I couldn’t talk and neither could he. Grunts and pants filled the room as we still fought each other in a way. I leaned away from him, making the angle more difficult and in return, he held me so tightly his fingernails were close to cutting my skin.

He would harshly tug me back and closer to him every time I somehow got loose until at one point, he leaned all his weight on me, no longer holding himself up with an arm. Both his arms wrapped around and beneath my body. One of them came up to my throat from between my arms while the other locked my body in place by tightly hugging my waist.

Mansk’s head was buried in the crook of my neck as his panting fanned against my cheek. His eyes were closed while I was a whimpering mess, occasionally biting back the pathetic noises to hiss or snarl at him which I knew pissed him off more. Every time I did, he would fuck into me from behind even more relentlessly than before.

I could tell he was close because his thrusts were no longer as sharp. He became more sloppy, mindlessly chasing his high as he pounded into my abused pussy.

Mansk groaned, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes clenched closed.

“Fuck- take it you dirty slut.” he growled.

The hand around my throat tightened, making sure to keep me in place as he thrust into me the last few times. His body tensed and he forced himself as deep into me as possible. Mansk’s teeth bit down on the skin of my left shoulder and his fangs slightly tore the skin while his body shook. I felt him release and shoot his hot cum deep inside me as he held me closer and tighter than ever before, to ensure he’d stuff me full with as much of his load as possible.

I moaned when I felt him fill me. It was something I had never felt before but fuck was it good.

After about a minute, his tight grip loosened and he let his arms fall to the side. I finally inhaled properly while he steadied his own heavy breathing.

Everything was so intense, neither of us could move for the next few minutes. He just stayed pressed on top of me, luckily supporting his weight this time while I let my head fall forwards.

Even though I didn’t cum I was tired. Too tired to push him off or even walk to the showers.

After a few minutes, Mansk had calmed down and slowly he lifted himself off of me. I felt him surprisingly gently pull out and I whimpered at the movement inside me. Everything felt bruised.

My arms were trembling beneath me and I let myself fall to the side, finally relaxing. However, the heat between my legs remained. Even after all that cruel handling, my body felt needy.

Mansk stayed kneeling behind me, looking down at me in pity. He felt a little guilty for what he had done.

“Y’ alright?” he asked, placing his hand on my thigh as I lay on my side. My relaxed ears flatten back and he notices it all.

“No, you moron.” I snap back at him. Isn’t it obvious that I’m not at my best?

And just like that, all guilt and pity left Mansk’s body. You were clearly well enough to continue bickering. He also noticed how your tail restlessly thudded against the ground. Your scent was still strong, maybe even stronger than before which reminded Mansk that you didn’t cum.

“Aw, you want more don’t you?” he teased me, rolling me over on my back and moving my hands away from my face. He saw how flushed I was and that answered his question.

“It wasn’t even good, loser.” I snarl, knowing it will get under his skin. But oddly it just made him chuckle.

“Who were you moanin’ for then?” he asked with a smug grin on his face. An idea popped into my head and now I grinned at him.

“Lyle could do it better.” I say and Mansk stills. I look at him trying to figure out whether he was thinking or whether he was genuinely hurt but that was difficult because he still had his damned shades on.

“Mansk-” I say but within an instant, he’s on top of me.

“I’ll make ya cum so hard you won’t be able to think about no one but me.” he hissed, and when I tried opening my mouth to respond he cut me off again and pressed our lips together.

I huffed in annoyance, refusing to kiss him to see how much angrier he can get.

Mansk wrapped his hand around my throat again, squeezing from the sides to cut off my air and blood flow for a few seconds. I gave in, kissing him back with as much lust and passion as I could.

Without breaking the make out, Mansk trailed his hand down my body and spread my legs apart. I didn’t fight it this time. It seemed like a challenge to him.

I lift my head and look between our bodies, my eyes going wide as I realise that Mansk is still hard. He pushes my head down by my neck, leaning over and sucking hickeys into the skin. I bite down on my lip, suppressing my noises which sound like muffled whimpers to him.

He would make sure that even doing that won’t keep you quiet when he’s inside you again.

Mansk pressed himself against my bare heat which was dripping with his cum. He ground his hips against me and I let my head drop back in pleasure and sighed.

I felt his lips form into a grin against the skin of my collarbone. I still had my bra on because he was in too much of a hurry to take it off before. Mansk was completely naked on the other hand.

His teeth tugged at the strap of my sports bra before he leaned back and pulled it over my head. Without hesitation, he leaned back down, roughly groping my breasts and leaving a dark hickey above one.

The grinding stopped when he pressed the tip of his leaking dick against my entrance again. Slowly he applied pressure, straightening himself and picking up my right leg to wrap it around his waist. I let him move me around because for whatever reason, I was convinced he wouldn’t make me cum. Not when I was already so sore.

“Where’d your feral side go?” he teased, smirking down at me. I dramatically exhale to show my irritation.

“I’m not fucking feral.” I hiss and he scoffs.

“We’ll see.”

“I’m sorry do you want me to punch you?” I ask, looking up at him.

“You won’t be able to in a sec.” he says and with that, he pushes himself back inside me. He enters me easier this time because we’re both coated in slick from the last round.

My pupils grow wider at the feeling and I strain my ears back, not wanting him to see the hint of pleasure I just felt.

Mansk still isn’t gentle because he has no reason to ‘make love’ to you. However, it’s not as brutal as before.

He starts to thrust into me more precisely this time and my body tenses when it starts feeling good. Fuck.

His tail found mine, making them wrap around each other while he focused on finding my weak spots. Mansk’s left hand held my thigh up on his waist as he pushed deeper each time until he started bottoming out on each thrust.

My breathing grows heavy and I feel a small pressure build in me but it’s enough for me to resist.

Mansk is eyeing me, watching my expressions and he notices how I’m fighting myself. He has a solution for that.

While thrusting into me again, he lets go of my thigh which stays on him and his thumb circles my clit.

I inhale sharply, pressing my lips together making him smirk. He slowly sped up the rhythm of his thrusts, letting his thumb brush over my clit every once in a while making me try to close my legs around him.

I throw my head back and clench my eyes closed, realising that I’ll lose this silly bet and that if he doesn’t stop I will cum.

Suddenly, he presses his thumb right against my clit and at the same time, his dick brushes up against my G-spot. He feels my walls clench around him briefly and I hiss, letting my mouth drop open.

“There you are.” he growled, meaning my ‘feral side’. It seems that Mansk liked the animalistic noises we emitted.

“Fuck-” I whimper, arching my back off the ground. He takes the hint, feeling a sense of pride in his chest as he continues doing exactly what he is. With each thrust, he applies a little more pressure on my clit and rubs under it and I’m gone. I’ll definitely lose.

My hands grip his shoulder, needing to clutch something for support. Deep inside I’m angry at him and at myself for letting this happen and for having it feel so good. So to put up my rebellious message, I dig my fingernails into his back, clawing at the skin in a desperate attempt to contain my pleasure.

Mansk growls, leaning forwards and once again resting his head in the crook of my neck. He licked over the area he bit into last time and then nibbled on the skin around it, tracing his fangs along it in a threatening manner.

Tears sting the corners of my eyes, slowly threatening to spill. Mansk looks up at me and grins at the sight.

“Such a needy little thing.” He coos and I know he’s making fun of me.

“You started it-” I sniffle and almost sob in pleasure. “...you idiot.” I can’t think of any good insults or comebacks.

I hiss when he bites down a little more than he should on my neck and I take it as a warning.

“C’mon, stop fightin’ it and cum f’ere me.” he mumbles, placing a kiss on my neck. He doesn’t stop his actions and I know it’ll all be over in a few seconds.

“No-” I whimper, and at this point, I’m begging myself not to come more than I’m telling him. I hate how good he’s making me feel. But it doesn’t matter because, with the next thrust, I’m seeing stars.

“Mansk-” I almost scream, clenching my legs around his waist and throwing my head back. My fingers are still, digging into his back one final time as my own body shakes and my eyes roll to the back of my head.

He rides out my orgasm, extending it for as long as possible.

I’m mindlessly mumbling his name over and over again.

Finally, I come down and my body goes limp beneath him. My chest is heaving and when I look up at him, Mansk has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Instantly I frown which makes him chuckle.

“You still mad?” he asks and I stare at him in disbelief.

“Until you grow the balls to apologise, yeah.” I reply, wiping my hand over my forehead. My language and attitude being present after all that amazes him.

He smiles with a sigh before speaking. “I’m sorry.” he says but I shake my head.

My hand lifts up to his face and I push his shades up onto his head so that I can see him properly. “I don’t think you mean it.”

He drops his head in defeat before facing me again. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot to you.” he says and I smile, satisfied.

“Are you into me?” I ask but he doesn’t answer. “Because if yes, than this is not the way you should approach things.” I laugh and he smiles to himself, feeling unsure.

“Yeah..” he mumbles, wondering whether he should apologise again. He wasn’t good at these conversations.

I sigh, knowing I’ll have to deal with this emotional wreck from now on. To ease his thoughts I pull him down by his dog tag and this time I initiate the kiss. Mansk melts into it, holding my cheek and when we pull away he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“You have to help me up, I don’t think I can make it to my room.” I say and he grins, nodding and getting up. Mansk gently pulls me to my feet and accompanies me in the shower. It was nice, finally seeing this side of him.

He let me touch him and purred when I washed his back of some dried blood.

Since everyone was asleep we managed to sneak into his room and we fell asleep together. Who knows how much longer we’ll be around to experience this.

Tag list: @ikranwings @number1gal @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

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