#his words idk anything about them
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repeating my therapists words in my head like the bike message in pokemon
#i am not responsible for other people#i am not responsible for their actions or feelings i am not in control of that#if its not in my control then i need to take a step back and accept that#tw drugs#soooooooooooo my dad picked up the op of the iods. which he was addicted to for about a decade and stopped a decade ago#like if he had gotten them when the hospital offered it to him it would be whatever yk because he has suffered burns#but he said no at the hospital and stressed that he wouldnt take that poison again#his words idk anything about them#and now that we're talking about weaning him off of his gabapentin (what hes been taking for pain)#he picks them up dawg you say youre not in pain enough to take regular old medicine anymore#i am quite so very stressed about it. our genepool is very heavy on addictions and yk my mom never stopped so i Experienced it#and of course i Experienced it as a child but i dont remember any of my childhood#but i would really rather my father not get addicted to them again i think that would be really quite terrible#i confronted him about it and he said he was just going to keep them as a backup just in case#like ofc i dont want my dad to be in pain. but he cant just say hes feeling really good and then pick them up#because that sets off the “he just wants to use them for Using them” alarm in my head#but i am not in control of him i cant control his actions i tried my best and now whatever happens happens i guess#trying very hard not to freak out very hard right now (everything in my body wants to have a cheeky panic attack and/or spiral)#have no close friends/friends i feel like i can just vent to for freesies is kind of a nightmare#i miss my Friends i miss my Friends i wish i could tell them my situation and just feel like i am Supported and Cared For#being lonely is all fun and games until bad things are happening in your life and you have no one to distract you or help you
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-"Start Here" by Caitlyn Siehl
#berserk#griffith#guts#griffguts#berserk manga#words#my posts#i have soooo many quotes that remind me of them that haunt me im going insane#i post more of them eventually#for now this is all the display of mental illness yall get#idk how to tag lol#guts berserk#griffith berserk#this very obviously is refering to how guts percieves griffith and the immediate change in his stance when he saw him again as the human#that he loved and cared for very deeply to the point that he forgot that this was actually “the monster” he had sought to kill all that time#im not at all implying anything abt griffith's nature changing#just about hoe you can never truly see someone as simply “monstruous” if you love them hard enough#how***#SPELLING MISTAKES MY MORTAL ENEMY
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As part of a two-part reverse bang-bang, here's some more Valentines art to which @probablytoooldforthis wrote an amazing fic, Sweets for the Sweet! Please go check it out, I promise you won't regret it, and keep your eyes peeled for the second chapter - and artwork, of course - coming out on White Day aka the 14th of March!
Also, I this is an unrendered version, the finished version will be posted within about a week's time (hopefully) since I don't have access to digital drawing at the moment YuY
#this piece makes me so happy#and the fic even more so#i really wish i hadnt ended up on crunch time to even get this half finished version done but whoever said i was a responsible adult#whoever said i had time management skills#whoever said that was wrong#anyway THEYRE MAKING CHOCOLATES BECAUSE I COULDNT NOT#viktor is very concentrated UuU#also if any actual confectioners (is that the english word? idk) see this feel free to yell at me in the tags for everything thats wrong#my experience with making filled chocolates is extremely limited and very messy#so uh#this is probably not accurate#BUT THEYRE HAVING FUN AND THATS WHAT MATTERS#i like to think viktor has clips to keep his hair out of the way but he always somehow manages to lose them oh how sad how “unfortunate”#guess yuuri will just have to keep his hair up yet again how tragic YnY#also yuuri 100% knows viktors clips dont magically disappear but he cant get himself to say anything because does he really mind?#no#no he doesnt#not at all#he gets to lovingly brush viktors hair out of his eyes what in the world would he be complaining about?#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix#arom antix art#katsuki yuuri#viktor nikiforov#viktuuri
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lover, don't touch me // leave, i am a danger to you // but ooh, i hunger for you
#this is leona's vampire lover audra#i guess you could say the first time they met was when audra nearly killed her in a blood lust because she hadnt fed in so long#idk how to describe it well but audra suddenly stopped devouring her when leona looked at her with no fear in her eyes#but looked at audra like she was something to worship#she whispered that audra was so beautiful even as her own blood was splattered between them and staining her lips#leona had never seen someone or something so perfect and powerful#power that she wanted and knew exactly how to get when audra whimpered over the slightest bit of praise#i never talk about them but i am CONSTANTLY thinking about them <3#some fun little facts is leona killed her husband in cold blood because he was pitiful and boring#she married the first person to show any interest in her just to get away from her family#he would have been a perfectly good husband for anyone else#but the best part of their marriage was when she stabbed him in the stomach 47 times and felt his blood splatter against her skin#for audra OBVIOUSLY had to make another oc who would do anything to be loved even if it means destroying herself#audra was turned very suddenly and without any guidance#she murdered her lover without even realizing it she opened her eyes to find them splattered across every surface of the room#because of that shes done everything she can to protect herself from others even if it means starving herself of blood#until she goes into a frenzy#leona is the first person she has ever willingly fed off of#idk if willingly is the right word since leona practically begs her to do it#i really want to remake leona now.........#i like how leona looks but i want her to match audra better#mysims#the sims 4#simblr#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 cas#ts4 cas#sims 4 edit#ts4
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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do you believe Love Deterrence was kind of a love confession from Kaz to BB?
Sort of. Kind of. I do think it was about BB, and we know the lyrics are written by Kaz.
I don't know if we ever find out all the languages that BB speaks, obviously English, Russian, Spanish, that leaves iirc 3 more languages he speaks, and I don't know if Japanese is ever confirmed as one.
It seems likely given that he speaks to Kojima in PW, and that BB speaking other languages is translated for the player, but Venom also speaks to him and gets a verbal response in TPP, and we know that was in English due to [mumbled summary of TPP plot]. That's probably the closest we get to confirmation.
Anyways my point with that is, I tend to think that BB doesn't speak Japanese, at least not around Kaz, and Kaz intentionally wrote Love Deterrence in a language he didn't think BB knew so that he could get his feelings out without the utter mortification of actually sharing them.
#mgs#bbkaz#if anybody actually knows or has hunches about BB's language list im all ears i want to know#or any of them really#we know liquid “speaks arabic like a native” which is fascinating. like. which dialect?#khaliji would probably make the most sense since he was also in the gulf war#but almost equal chance of anything else as well given it is Year Of Our Lord 2005 when this takes place and uh#bestie we (westerners as a whole) did not really uhhh...what is the word...care...about the diversity of the arab world at that time#but idk its funny to me that *that* is what they choose to point out when he literally speaks kikongo for a large portion of his childhood
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unexplainably ill about "never-ending performance" as a name for one of kaeya's constellations
#like. augh. i know its probs not even this deep. but thats such an accurate description of his entire life#he he has always been constantly performing to everyone he knows. even the people he loves and cares about. especially them#gestures vaguely. kinda ran out of nice words to express myself here. do you get me#also im plagued by my genius concept of a kaeya character study divided into parts guided by his constellation/talent names#like. never-ending performance. frostbiting embrace. excellent blood. glacial heart even. i could work w those#or so i think. idk. i still havent managed to write anything cohesive about kaeya</3#kaeyaposting#my posts
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Anyone wanna jump on the Muriel/furfur train with me?
#i know people are into muriel and eric and then furfur and shax but idk i see them as siblings lol#i know furfur and muriel never interacted but something about neil saying furfur does anything for a kind word#and muriel being the sweetest being on earth#makes me thing furfur would meet them and they would be nice to him and he would immediately fall in love with them#i have this image of like#furfur thinking he can protect them and show them how earth works bc he thinks his short stints of time on earth means he is more worldly#he is not#he is really bad at it#but its endearing#muriel would love him back#good omens#furfur#muriel#should we call it furiel or murfur
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One day I’m going to write an Ochako character piece where she gets sick of standing in Deku’s shadow and breaks off their relationship in order to find herself - only for the media to begin constantly linking her to other Hero’s in the hopes of causing/unearthing drama.
She loses herself, succumbs to the idea that she’ll only ever be as good as the males she’s attached to and sinks…
It’s funny, she thinks, for someone who can control gravity - she sure does feel heavy.
#I want her to make a badly timed pass at Bakugo - The media have already labelled her a home wrecker;#she might as well prove them right at this point.#She’s drunk and sinking and obviously in pain; but Bakugo let’s her down gently…#There’s a rough sympathy in his voice when he says:#‘The fuck you playing at Cheeks? I’m taken. The fuck do you want me for?’#She hiccups; tears already beading her lashes: ‘You’re the number two.’#‘The fucks that got to do with anything? You’re in the top fucking ten.’#‘Doesn’t matter…’ She sighs. ‘Only matters who I’m fucking; doesn’t it.’#‘Who the fuck put that kinda idea in your head? You’re an incredible Hero in your own right; anyone who can’t see that is fucking stupid.’#She dissolved into tears then; blubbering about the media and womanhood and skin tight fucking suits…#By the time she’s done she’s dog tired and Bakugo swings her over his shoulders before taking her home -#- and tucking her into the bed in your spare room.#Of course you wake up when he slinks into bed; a hand scrubbing down his face as he relays the night.#‘It’s bullshit.’ He tells you. ‘She’s one of the strongest people I know.’#‘I know.’ You nod and take his hand. ‘I think she just needs a friend right now…’#She eats breakfast with you in the morning and apologises through mouthfuls of toast. You wave her off; ask if she’d like to get lunch -#you know a place. You say.#(There’s something here about women uplifting women and female bonds; but I’m too dumb to put it into words right now…#I just think she deserves more - as both a character and how she’s often treated within the fandom.#Idk. I love the women of MHA 🤷🏼♀️)
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OK BRAIN WORM NUMB R ONE. WHAT WAS THE THING WITH NEIL N PIERRE ABOUT DYING AND COMING BACK THE SAVE VS LIVING WRONG
i went through. my entire got damn blog trying to figure out WHAT you were referring to where the hell i had said this. and then realized it was the 3rd most recent reblog. im so smart and organized guys
so in reference to this post
essentially you can read it as either neil or pierre, but the perspective of WHO is saying this definitely changes.
for neil, the dying and coming back refers to the cyborg process and the fact that neil has the very unique situation of... being used for intermittent testing for about a year. And then being shut off and kept in essentially storage for about 6-8 years after that. where he was unconcious and did not age at all. so when he gets out, its still just a teenage boy, but suddenly everyone is so much older and everything is different and not only is eveline older shes also. not her anymore. which is not new ground here ajdjdhfjf
but its also worth noting that neil does not get the near instantaneous reconciliation that he did with cherry in WTTW, because cherry is dead. for at least 10 months. so it spends that time not knowing why cherry came to RR or who they are now or anything of the sort. so like if i had to do a line by line breakdown itd look like:
-"i died but i came back exactly the same" neil has not significantly aged and is around the same age he was when eveline knew it
-"you though, i came back and you were wrong" neil is the same. eveline is very much not. it has been a much shorter time
-"did the fact of my dying really damage you this much?" neil doesnt know WHY evelines so different and wonders if them being ripped apart the way they were had anything to do with it
-"was bringing me back worth what it cost you?" neil thinking the reason any of this happened is because eveline came back for him, and it cost her her life. (also the fact that haha um neil is. Kind of the one who kills cherry. oopsie!)
-"would it have been better to just leave me?" neil sees all the new people in their life that they dont know and feels guilty over the idea that He was (as far as he knows. because no one ever tells the kids anything except for vallen but shhh) the reason eveline went back, died, and left all of her friends to clean up the aftermath of it all. tldr neil blames himself for everything bad that happened to cherry and it fucks him up bc i cannot give that boy a moment of peace
pierre is a lot more straightforward. imagine some visage of eveline saying this shit to him. "bringing me back" is less about being brought from the dead and more about, like. taking someone by force and bringing them back home.
pierre sees the moment "eveline" escaped left as the big turning point of his life, when everything having to do with his future life became a lot less clear and what was left of his morals went down the drain in pursuit of Maybe Having Her Back One Day and as such he DOES wonder what may have happened had he just... let her be. so he lives in guilt over what happened because it went So So Wrong and because shes gone with next to no chance of seeing her again and not. the obvious reason he should feel guilt over eveline.
the more things change etc etc
#lies in a pile. On the ground. forever#neil#pierre#meta#worst comparison i could EVER make between these two and it is in VERY DIFFERENT WAYS#but neil and pierre both have issues understanding that eveline is gone and that cherry is not her. although they do understand that -#something Has fundamentally changed.#though neil is upset and frustrated by it because his sister DIDNT come back for him she DIDNT know he was even there#and this person ISNT HER but all of evelines love for him is in them for some reason but its not the same. it just isnt.#but he at least tries to understand how this happened and tries to connect with cherry where he can because. he's still grieving.#evelines been dead for 10 years but hes only been without her for a few months. its not an easy adjustment#pierre on the other hand. his reaction to cherry isnt to make an attempt to connect with this new person or anything#(which yaknow. thank god) but its to 'fix' eveline. to bring her back.#hes still got her memories. all he'd have to do is delete whatever files have filled their place and put them back in.#theres parallels her. both characters are in their own ways grieving and frustrated and upset about the fact that#yeah. shes gone. and this is not her.#but where neil tries to at least understand this new person who he can still see eveline in AND see this new happier person as well#pierre would rather hold onto what was and would effectively kill cherry if it meant having eveline back#yakno. grief and embracing the future vs living in the past and allthat#(except not really because what neils doing is grieving. Idk if i have a word for whatever pierres doing)#i doubt anyones gonna read this far soo uhh im also gonna say. something something ocarina of time on that one neil plot point#asks#down-thedrain
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dean 10000% has confessed his love to cas in the shower
#the first day they get into the bunker and dean can fianlly get a nice and warm shower#his shoulders relax and the water feels warm agonist his skin#and he sways there for a moment and before he realizes it his mind drifts to cas#and that thought leads elsewhere#and it ends with him on the floor of the shower#water turned cold#sobbing#johns words still sting all these years later and the heat just reminds him of that#“why did it have to be cas” he cries into his knees knowing more than anything he has ever known that he wouldn’t have it be anyone else#“i love you so much it hurts”#“i wish you would want me. i wish i could have you”#he stays there#dreaming of some world where cas appears in front of him#hearing his confession turned prayer and holds him close#but the water turns off and there is no angel to be found#guess that dream will have to wait#sorry just rambling about them#like the thought of dean writing down all his feelings for cas one drunk night and just burning it or something#idk idk#destiel#dean winchester
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okay its going under a readmore bc its messy and a lot, i'll try to keep it succinct though. CW for some discussion of the ongoing g.enocide and things around that topic
so one of the friends is someone I've really respected and admired because they're a very intelligent well-spoken and kind-hearted individual. i've really been impressed with how they think about things and with their ability to write really fantastic essays (that they often share with this friend group because they're in school and enjoy sharing their work with us because a lot of us are interested in the things they write about). about a year ago, this person went through the process of converting to j.udaism and we were all very excited (and continue to be happy) for them. they've been really happy with the process and the community they've found and it's been really good for them.
however! this person has since stated they are a z.ionist! and they've said that it just means that j.ewish people should live in i.srael, it doesn't mean they support the i.df or what is happening in p.alestine currently. but I'm just... baffled at how they can think that non-p.alestinians occupying the country could EVER be done peacefully. it has ALWAYS been colonization. it was never going to be done in a peaceful manner.
do j.ewish people deserve a safe place to exist? absolutely! but I do not think, ESPECIALLY now, that that safe place can ever be located in p.alestine. I'm not the most educated or well-read individual, I've done a bit of reading over the past few months but my memory is shoddy and I consistently forget almost everything I've read, but as far as I can tell, this has been a non-peaceful occupation (...can occupation ever really be done peacefully in reality? i doubt it.) from the very beginning. p.alestinians were being kicked out of their houses from the start.
and to add onto the messiness of this all, I am the only i.ndigenous person in the entire group. I am the only one coming at this from an i.ndigenous perspective. and because of my perspective, I am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the population that first lived and existed in a place. i am always on the side of l.and back, i am always on the side of the first peoples. anything less would be essentially agreeing with colonization.
so it is just incredibly uncomfortable to be the only i.ndigenous person in this group while the rest of the group has discussed and expressed sympathy with this person for holding self-professed z.ionist beliefs (I do not believe this person has done the right reading to fully understand what they are saying, which is so strange because they are usually so good about educating themself). and I feel like if I try to say anything to argue or simply question this person, I'm going to rock the boat too much and make Everyone uncomfortable and the entire thing will blow up and fall apart around me. so my options seem to be either: a) say something, b) say nothing and stay in the group, or c) say nothing and quietly leave the group. none of which feel like good options!
and it sucks so much because there are people I genuinely do like in this group, and I've liked this one person and respected them since I met them, but they're really .... showing themself to be an unsafe person at the end of the day. I keep feeling like maybe I'm not seeing something or maybe I'm missing something, but I've looked at this from multiple angles and while I do absolutely see where they're coming from and even sympathise with some of it, I disagree with them on a fundamental level.
(also it seems really fucked up for them to be newly converted to j.udaism and endorsing what is essentially colonization and lowkey ignoring the fact that PEOPLE ARE BEING GENOCIDED RIGHT NOW so maybe we should not be discussing "but where are all the j.ewish ppl going to live :(" until the bullets and bombs stop at the very least(????????), while I've been indigenous and dealing with the consequences of attempted (and still ongoing!) genocide and colonization my entire life)
#its all so unbelievably fucked up and uncomfortable#and I think that the other ppl in the group do not like... see the flaw in what this individual is saying#because they are !!! not !!! i.ndigenous !!!! they are all completely white !!!!#i'm just. head in my heads clawing my hands down my face. so ... i dont have a word for this actually#its like. fear mixed with anger mixed with hurt mixed with confusion and shock and horror that these ppl are being this way#also not all of them have engaged in the convos so i dont know everyones opinions on the situation#it just. i dont know. i dont know! its so fucked up#dandy.cmd#vent //#ask to tag#i won't be discussing this sort of thing regularly here btw fdjskl this is a one-off probably#i just needed to get it off my chest and put it somewhere because i don't know what to do#and i can't talk about it on my other account bc i have some of the ppl following me there#and here i only have one person following me and if u see this hi You are okay !!! u are not part of this fdsjkl and u can dm me#but i do not think u have done anything wrong and im not lumping u in with these people#i can explain things more to u if u want though because man alive its all so tangled and messed up#but u and a couple others are not people who are making me uncomfortable bc i trust you and havent seen those two others engage#so i'm just kind of sitting here like. hm. idk what to do. and i dont want to bring it up w you randomly fdshgjkl
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If i had to pick (and lbr you do) between either roman or tomgreg being canonically gay and explored in the series id pick roman 100%. Tomgreg going canon would set gay rights back by like 40 years
#like its still a big tv show they can only have one gay person on it#succ#i think tomgreg will always be reaching new insane heights of whatever the fucknis wrong with them#but roman. roman.#the gerri thing was completely a mommy issues deal#roman ‘for reasons of … we dont know why i cant pee next to other men’ roy#i enjoy watching his torment and quite frankly i cant think of anything that would turn him inside out with misery#quite like the slow tortuous realization that everything his father is disgusted by in him#are the things that make him feel happy and at peace and loved#i hope his interactions with mattson are confusing and scary and addicting and he keeps going back#mencken works too but im sorry that more boring.2 me. ohhh hes into it bc facism bad but he likes when thing bad we get it.#thats the same thing hes been doing tho#now imagine: rome but hes in a relationship with someone whos a little fascinated by him#this dettached deadeyed weirdo who doesnt roll his eyes when he speaks#and instead seems to listen to every word and remember what he says#and who maybe. just maybe. even cares about him#like mattson would definitely treat him like a bug under glass but roman ‘dog cage and chocolatte cake’ roy#would easily mistake that for love#idk not articulating it well. might write a fic abt it. we’ll see#tomgreg canon truthers btw no hate i lov the ship sorry if this shows up in the tag#but theyre definitely going to be in weird limbo forever & ever#i think at best tomgreg will become canon? (audible question mark)#i think they could fuck nasty and weird on screen and tom would start gaslighting greg into thinking it didnt happen#because nothing like. nice or good happens in the show its about misery#i want tomgreg to stay on ao3 so i can read abt tom healing after leaving waystar#anyways!#chatter
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Comics Read in 2024:
Dragon Age: The Silent Grove by David Gaider, Alexander Freed, & Chad Hardin (2012)
Dragon Age: Those Who Speak by David Gaider, Alexander Freed, & Chad Hardin (2012)
Dragon Age: Until We Sleep by David Gaider, Alexander Freed, & Chad Hardin (2013)
The Great Snake's Bride Vol. 1 by Fushiashikumo (2023)
The Great Snake's Bride Vol. 2 by Fushiashikumo (2023)
The Great Snake's Bride Vol. 3 by Fushiashikumo (2024)
The Great Snake's Bride Vol. 4 by Fushiashikumo (2024)
My Stepmother & Stepsisters Aren't Wicked Vol. 2 by Otsuji (2023)
My Stepmother & Stepsisters Aren't Wicked Vol. 3 by Otsuji (2024)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2024media#gigi.txt#god the dragon age comics were so so so so fucking bad i don't have words how bad they were.#the plot was stupid the characters were ooc the whitewashing and misogyny were rampant nothing made sense IT WAS SO BAAAAAD#there was barely anything salvageable in them and what little was salvageable is not putting up with the rest of the bullshit#just pretend they don't exist. for ur own sanity.#the great snake's bride was.................. interesting. it's about a lady who is sacrificed to a snake god to be his bride#but like. he's NOT a snake god he is just an Old Fucking Giant Snake apparently and they fall in love and they fuck#and yes he's a snake the wholeass time. he gives good head apparently and they have kids together and shit#idk if i'd rec it but i also wouldn't........ not rec it? it was just. an odd read. idk i'll prob read the next volume when it drops#stepmother and stepsisters is just a silly completely mindless read if u like it u like it and if u don't u don't#it's just silly. no thoughts. no real plot. no nothing.
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hehehe ns gets called back again and forgets. nwb thinks this is delibarate on ns' part to wipe it all away. up until
HELPPP CHICKEN BONE STUMPS OF WINGS. you conjure such a beautiful world
#this is certainly inchresting#but i have thought about it and i am going to go a different direction#so that it parallels the uhmm. ‘canon’ story IDK USING THE WORD CANON TO DESCRIBE MY OCS IS LIKE. WHATEVER#obviously the good omens au is gonna have some changes and not 100% reflect the original story i had#but some plot beats i’ve managed to keep the same …. wayback being a fail and not fitting in anywhere#sep having to do his and fates’ and weaving’s work and having their memory wiped regularly to keep up#(only in the gomens au it’s not because of art or anything like that they just start doubting heaven in general cuz they are Tired of#working all the time and shit#also they don’t remember much of anything unlike in canon because they are no longer a weird biosupercomputer thang)#anyway other stuff. they and wayback know eachother for a long time . for most of that time they are enemies and sep is An Ass#until they fuck it up way too much and realize they dont want to hurt wayback and apologize#then it’s like yayyy semi-stable relationship ^_^#wayback introducing them to the wonders of friendship and chilling and having fun (go: introducing them to living on earth)#then there’s a . plot beat we havent really gotten to yet in the actual story#but let’s say in the gomens au it has something to do with sep leaving wayback to go back to heaven#……….#looks around#also wade uhmm. well. i shant say#cramswering
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no, no, it's NOT passing the torch guys.
STOP I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT. RAFA IS NOT PASSING THE TORCH TO ANYBODY, RAFAS AMAZING THE WAY HE IS!! IDC I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IN ALL THIS. Rafael Nadal is not passing the torch. I'm a bitch. I know. I'm being so pissy about it. I know!!!
But how will I ever move on from Novak/Rafa/Roger's era?? Idk, maybe it's just me, but idk how people move on from the big 3 era so fast now that the new era is starting?? Like?? TEACH ME. I feel like such a bitch about it.
I'm happy for Carlitos, I really, genuinely am. I cried for him, I cheered for him and I really like him and i am so so proud of him. But I'm not ready for his era to start yet. In fact, in all of my honesty and truth revealed, I don't want it to start so fast.
I wish the Big 3 era will stay forever and never end. So why and how, are people moving on so fast? Do they want to see it end before they even end it?? all these videos of passing the torch and all this new era shit. Can't we appreciate Novak and Rafa right now while they are still here and still playing? Soon enough, in a blink of an eye, they'll be gone.
They'll be retired and I thought that people would appreciate them more in their last moments. I know they won't retire this time around, though Rafa will next year and I'm still so upset, and Novak will probably retire in like..5 years. Tops. And Andy too.
And soon all the new gen will take over, I'll be fricking 20+ then, and I won't see that familiar face I always see in my childhood anymore. I won't hear about Rafa's latest injuries, and his grunts, and his little quirks that the media love to point out, I won't hear about another Novak drama of breaking rackets, I won't hear about Novak winning everything anymore and pissing everybody off.
I won't hear the Novak fans and Rafa fans fighting anymore, about the goat debates etc. I'm going to miss the fedal posts that are still around despite the fact that there is only one left still playing.
I don't want it to end.
So how are the people I see on Instagram and everything, how are they so excited for this new era to take over and how are they so excited for Rafa and Novak's (and Roger's) reign to end?
IM- UGH.
(I'm just ranting but that's what Tumblr is for okay, apologies)
#ANYWAYS THIS IS NOT. LIKE. A HATE OR ANYTHING!!#im just in my feels rn i feel okay when theres rafa and carlos in a same frame. just not when its a comparison post.#if its appreciation for the both of them im really. its totally okay#wdym passing the torch?#im petty and im such a what do u call that...THAT WORD IDK ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE. ANYWAYS#rafa is not passing the torch and it'll never happen. okay maybe it will but not NOW.#not when rafa is out because he is INJURED and not because of his own choice.#im trying my best to be positive about everything. but im so DONE.#stop. comparing. rafa. and. carlitos.#seriously i get why. theyre both spanish. alright and they have a lot of..similarities. with the age and the thing okay i get it#but carlitos is carlitos. rafa is rafa. rafas not retired yet. AND IM- JUST?? STOP I- UGDBSGDM😭#im going to cry now goodbye#someone tell me im not the only one feeling like this#yes im overthinking it but like..still‼️#im just sad guys and im known to be very dramatic so just..yes.#tennis#rafael nadal#roger federer#novak djokovic#carlos alcaraz#big 3#fedal
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