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calypso-finale · 10 months

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Hundred Eleven. Part 2

I am so fucking embarrassed because why would you do that and he actually embarrassed me too, hiding my face in shame as I ran back to Tianna “that was a fuck you never be late again move” I am actually so red now because of him “he’s so rude for that” fanning my face “I caught it all and I’m loving it, you did kind of deserve it though. He did say be on time and then you’re like I will come when I want” rolling my eyes “let me get off this side of stage, I am done. I do not trust this man, send me that video too” walking down the ramp, the boys are laughing. Of course they are laughing; the way I went red because of his stupid ass “I told you he wasn’t happy, you promised you would be here and you wasn’t” his little friends can calm down “I never promised I would be on time, I said I would be here” kissing my teeth “my guy missed you though, now you know” these boys, now I’m stood here I know all of them and they cannot be the guy Oakley is saying for my sister, I am so confused right now because I do know his friends so I would have known by now but it can’t be any of these men that are here unless I’m just being delusional and expecting more, imagine it’s one of these and I just didn’t like them, can’t be Wadz, he said it isn’t but I will get it out of him “you both coming with us then on the bus?” I sniggered “my jet is waiting” Wadz gasped “you cannot do that, Oakley made us clean the bus for you!” I let out an oh “he did?” My smile grew “I mean yeah, he was like we can’t have things a mess. Don’t be boring, come with us” looking at Tianna “but that is a lot of hours and I’m tired, I feel like I need to sleep in comfort” which I do “I’m sure it will be fun, and I’m sure Oakley will want you with us” Tianna is of course team staying but that is a long time “fine and besides, he won’t accept anything less now. I guess you men can put my case on the bus, also where is my sister?” Might as well get her while I am here “she left before us” YBeez answered “of course she did” the way Ybeez cringed, there is more to it “what is it? Tell me” he shrugged, I mean it’s not the place “he’s coming off now though, shall we go down” nodding my head “he’s calling me again” Ti said “get a new number, I have had enough. Also I wanted to talk to you, but I’ll talk later” I swear I will fucking murder this bastard when I ever meet him again, this is my sister, no matter what we go through she is still my sister so he can go and choke, I’ll ride for this girl no matter what.

I have missed this stupid idiot a lot “not you stood here waiting trying to look mysterious, if you don’t stand up” swatting Ti “shut up, like it’s just. I get people do not understand why. They just can’t accept it, they say why him. I can get a better man but like, I do truly like him, I do” Ti smiled at me “like they said oh look she’s with Taylan, handsome and tall. And you got that, I get offended because he is mine, and I don’t care for what he is, like I do genuinely like him” Tianna nodded her head smiling “I can tell you do, I knew it from the start though, I mean I helped you escape to see him. It’s just a shame he had to deal with you while you was growing into you, which to me is a shame because it’s left a lot of mess, but it can be fixed. I think it’s like things you both need to continue to talk about, I’m rooting for you both anyways. But like I said a lot too, childish. So I get it, but people grow, people change” Tianna is cute, Oakley is ignoring me and he’s making me mad “I’m glad you came Tianna” he hugged her “oh me, why is that? You on operation friend?” These two have secret codes now “erm, I think. See what happens. I know you wasn’t late; I blame that one” he pointed at me “me!?” I spat; he rolled his eyes “anyways let’s go” I gasped “that is rude. How you ok with everyone but me” that is mean “what you mean? You had your little fun” I poked my lips out “yeah I’m getting a flight there, I ain’t sitting in that bus with you” I pointed, he grabbed my finger walking over to me “you’re so easy to annoy you” he wrapped his arms around me “you stink” I couldn’t even hug him back because I am trapped in his arms “but you love me still” I laughed “who said I love you” he moved his head back but his arms still around “I know that you know, that I know. Ok” he said, “I hate when you say that” he shrugged “you miss me?” I shrugged “allow it man, come on. Then why did you cry” I groaned out “period Oakley, I was emotional” he let out an oh “done now” I chuckled “it’s done now, but I did miss you, I got to admit it. Those club appearances made me emotional, like who did those girls think they are, you’re my skinny man” he laughed “shut up” he moved back from me “come let’s go” he took my hand, Tianna already walked off and left us like that.

I did not want to be in a tour bus for eleven hours and that’s where I am at, there is like me and Ti, Ybeez sister she seems nice, she is helping or whatever. Ybeez on this bus, some other boys I guess “I’m not happy, I didn’t want to stay on this bus all this time you know” Tianna is smiling “I am, it will be vibes, I mean once we wake up. I think everyone is tired” nodding my head “yeah they seem it, the driver said there will be a service break, but I think I will be asleep by then. But I wanted to ask really, do you really want to jump into another relationship?” I am confused on why she is ok with this “I don’t want to just you know stop my life, if I can get to know another then why not, I told you Rylee. I knew what he was like, but I just prayed he would change; I knew he may have let me down; I wasn’t blind to it. Initially yes but when he pushed me that time, I knew that I was in for a rocky ride, yes I shouldn’t have accepted his proposal, but he said the right words, but I feel like Oakley wouldn’t just put me in that for nothing, you know?” Nodding my head “I’ve said a lot about him, but I was very stupid. I am ok, promise” I smiled at her I am worried about her, I don’t want her to feel she is alone in this because she isn’t “don’t throw yourself into another relationship, I did that and fucked up” I do worry about her “there is no harm in knowing someone, I won’t jump. Oh hey” looking up at Oakley “alright, you sleeping or staying up?” He asked, “well I’ve chosen that bunk” he laughed “don’t be jarring now come on, I have a double bed you know” licking my top lip “so?” He smirked “come, you alright staying here?” He asked Ti “have fun” she just said, he chuckled walking off “be good” she hit my leg “oh I’m not going to do anything, we shall see, I’ll be back out to give my goodnight” getting up from the seat, he is stood there waiting “my palace” rolling my eyes “yeah I bet it stank” walking into the room “I cleaned space for your thing too. Private bathroom you know” he closed the door “you sure you want me to stay in bed with you?” He nodded his head “I want you too” I sighed out “ok, I am tired. I’ll get changed. Can I steal a top from you” he grinned “yeah” smiling at him, I would kiss him but no.

Oakley is already laid up in the bed “alright” he said looking me up and down “it’s your tee” he laughed “yeah I know, your boobs grown” pulling a face at him “thank you for pointing that out, you noticing that?” He looked back at his phone, that smirk alone “I’m just saying, I know your body” raising an eyebrow “whatever, I’m going to say goodnight to my sister” look at him saying he knows my body, he is funny. Walking along the bunk beds, peaking down and seeing Ti half asleep “oh” she said, crouching down “wanted to make sure these boys ain’t annoying you, are you ok?” She smiled lightly “I am, they are being ok, you? Do some research on my behalf. How is things with you, going to sleep now” rolling my eyes “yeah, we not doing anything though” she laughed, the laugh was so nasty though “I’m serious, but see you in the morning or whatever, and if these boys annoy me then tell me” Tianna chuckled “Wadz was actually entertaining me with stories but then he fell asleep but enjoy yourself boo” smiling at her, I love my sister so much. Making my way back into the room “come here” Oakley said opening his arm, he locked his phone “what is it?” I said smiling, he shook his head waving me over. He wrapped his arm around my waist “I missed you” I cooed out, resting his head on my stomach “you know the last time you did that was when I was pregnant” he looked up at me “really” nodding my head “I remember everything, but it’s ok” leaning down, pressing a kiss to his lips “that’s it” he laughed “alright, come lay down. Take my socks off for me please” I pulled a face “why are your nipples so hard” he laughed “I don’t know you know” I didn’t want to take his socks off but I did because he would do it for me “thank you Lee” smiling at him “anything else” he shook his head, placing his socks in the corner “maybe it’s cold, you cold” climbing into the bed “nope, you just need me that’s all, anaemic” sitting next to him “I could be you know” passing his phone, Oakley wrapped his arm around me “I missed this” placing my hand on his thigh “I can tell you have, you all touchy. You have such hairy thighs as they go up and then it goes again” looking at him “I know, so does yours” slapping his thigh “shut up” he’s so annoying.

Oakley is being very touchy, but in a romantic way, did I think he would be doing this, never. I’m a little stumped, he held his hand out, looking over at him smiling and placing my hand over his “my cute hand compared to yours” he sniggered “rather perfectly, as one” smiling a little “you know I do love you, like with everything. Like I know with things that went on, I don’t hate you for it ever, I don’t even hate Kenza. But like I know what I want, and I’m happy to wait for things. Because I admit it was wrong what I did, it’s hard to see the person you love in that position, but we move forward and whatever and whenever it happens it does” nodding my head, intertwining our fingers together “I love you Lee” smiling at him, he is saying it more and more “I love you too” pressing a kiss to his lips “can I ask, since we like this. Who is this guy you got for my sister? Please do not play my sister, tell me” Oakley laughed “you will see him at the next venue promise, we can go for a meal. He is a good guy, promise. You haven’t met him because he doesn’t hang with us like that and be doing all that shit with us, but he is there in the cut, I wouldn’t do that to your sister, don’t be thinking that of me” I am wondering “is he a good guy? That is all I care about” Oakley is laughing “he is, he is like me” I cringed “hey, I am not bad now. Don’t worry about it, you sisters. You see that now, I am warm” touching his chest “you right, awww you needed me” I grinned “I don’t know about that really, I am playing. Tired though, shall we sleep” nodding my head, I am tired.

I feel so bad, like I really do. This is the second time he has gone to the bathroom, he has woke me up so many times too, like the first time his hand on my boob, I moved it, then he moved, and I felt his boner against me, then he left the bed. Then now again, he is struggling, and this is why I didn’t want too, I quickly closed my eyes as he left the bathroom once again. I don’t want to air him out like that, but I feel bad because he is clearly struggling that I am here, he is mumbling something under his breath too. Let me do my fake movement and clearing my throat, as I did that I stretched my arm out “Oakley” I grumbled and looked behind “yeah I am just getting in bed” he said, watching him get back in bed “it’s ok, just wanted to know you’re there” he shuffled over to me “no I will be big spoon” I said, maybe this will be better “really?” he said surprised “yes” I hope that eases him, maybe, I hope anyways “I like being small spoon” of course he does.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfic #Chrianna Fanfiction

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case-electris · 2 years

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Heyyyyyy besties

It's been like what, 2 weeks since I last interacted with my friends (@mirology and @imagine-the-fanverse I'm so sorry I haven't replied to you guys on tiktok💀) my flat's wifi got messed up and I just got it fixed.

Anyways update on whateves going on my life.I moved to the city.Impulsively. In my defense my mental and physical health wasn't doing really well so I was like fuck it and took a gap year and moved to the city cuz I figured I might as well make more money while taking a break.

While traveling to the city I was already regretting me life choices. I forgot I had motion sickness so I was basically hurling my guts out the whole 8 hour ride, I was starving, the bus stank cuz some mf decided to vape inside the bus, I was wet (cuz I forgot to bring an umbrella and God decided I wasn't misrable enough and added a little bit of storm to the mix so I was soaked to the bone) and lastly ,lost a shoe cuz it slid right off my fucking foot and I was too shy to find it in a dark and moving bus.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh realization only hit me halfway through and while I was rethinking my life choices I started bawling my eyes out.I really really tried doing it quietly but I'm an ugly crier and I was hiccuping, choking on my tears with snot running from my nose (and vomit on my mouth cuz I wasn't done throwing up yet-). That's the last time I'm traveling. I-

Never again😀

After that I spent the next three days still crying (and still vomiting cuz my immune system's a bitch) cuz I was already feeling homesick (mom calls it migration depression and I was like 'thats cringe' but internally I agreed and whispered 'so true' and oh yeah did I mention I'm living with my mom now-) and after a lot of mental breakdowns I then impulsively bought a washing machine that is fucking expensive as hell but I'm happy so it doesn't matter anyways-

Also had another mental breakdown trying to connect it to a water source cuz I refuse to ask others for help

(your mom when we when your mom when)

I've already quit two jobs. The first one was nice, I was a coffee barista and the pay was good but going to work was a hassle tho so I quit.The next one I was a waiter, the pay is less than my previous job but I do less work anyways so I was ok with it.I quit immediately after tho the boss was just so mean and toxic and I just couldn't stand them.I got a new job tho, I'm a dental assistant now,the pay is great (its like thrice the amount of my previous pay) but the work is like pretty hard💀 and to be honest I'm fucking tired of talking to ppl but eh what can i do

I'm pretty sure I have more to talk abt but I kinda forgor so maybe next time

i'm- geez and i've been here working my 7-11 job-

WELL DUDE I HOPE YOUR AIGH NOW !!!

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nekolistener · 7 months

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trying when it'll still probably be bad

PART 1

it’s my birthday today!!!

i’m 22. it’s not over or anything

but I'm feeling really alone right now

last year i wrote some shit about how if things hadn't changed by now I would kill myself

i cringe thinking about it. i didn't stick to the promise either, went to the mental hospital twice since

putting it off was a good mindset for a while but i feel no allegiance to it now

i've been making a lot of progress: i started ketamine treatment, i started going to a social event regularly (i haven't really made any friends yet but I'm trying), and i've had a pretty noticeable decline in my suicidal thinking…this has all been in the last two month or so

i've gotten better. i'm only 22: i have a whole lot of time. things have to get better

but i don't believe that anymore, I know things change and bad stuff goes away to the base line at least, but i just can't believe it

i'm not totally alone:

i have my family. I'm lucky enough to know i'll always have them; they do all they can to be supportive, but i really have no idea how to talk to them. i think i just need to get out of my parent's house before they can become anything other than a source of stress

i have some online friends. They've really been my world for the past couple of years. i can say for sure, with no sillies or hahas, that without them i would have killed myself in florida but i'm still behind the curve, it's not 2020 anymore, it's my birthday and they're all invited to real parties; things can't stay the same forever…

oh i get it now…

i'm going to make one last list.

fair warnings though: usually i make these lists for other people, to calm them or let them know it's all going to be ok, but this one is mine (you can have the other two; they don't matter to me), and i have lied in my lists before, i don't think I'm doing that this time, but i didn't quite think so then either

this year i will: save 3000$, read and write, and finally move out of here.

i know i can do that. i've done those things before, and I'm tried of trying to do things i can't. i don't need college, or relationship, or a good job to not kill myself. i just needed ketamine, and to write about something else for a little while... i hope

i can be alone next year and it won't feel so bad as long as it's somewhere else…

maybe i'll even get around to the silence, exile, and cunning I've heard so much about

…and even if it's not, i'll use this when i need to get through the year.

i can keep putting one foot in front of the other, i know that now

but i would really like one of those good jobs, or relationships or colleges at some point

who knows tho, maybe i won't want those things again

"These last few____" have been really hard on me

it's gotten so lonely

but i won't let that stop whatever comes next from being whatever it wants to be

PART 2: a song written by someone who i think was similarly sad at the time of conception.

Last week I threw a pie at someone's Momma,

Last night I threw a party for my mind,

Last thing I knew that 6:02 was screaming' over my head,

Or it might've been th' 11:59...

Too many chain-link fences in the evening,

Too many people shivering' in the rain,

They tell me that you finally got around to have your baby,

And it don't look like I'll see your face again.

Sometimes I wanna go back north, to Humboldt County--

Sometimes I think I'll go back east, to see my kin...

There's times I think I almost could be happy,

If I knew you thought about me, now and then....

PART 3

This "three" thing, you've probably noticed by now, isn't actually that important. It doesn't matter. I think it's bad actually. I didn't mean to do it there. I didn't think about it, but I might be doing it by accident (okay that's kind of a lie, I wrote the first two sentences first, then everything that's after this, then went back and wrote a sentence to replace the second and realized I had made three again and then wanted to keep all of them. I'm a lair.) I have this really bad habit in my writing where I get fixated on things that don't actually add much. After I wrote the first three lines, I realized it was 3, and I can get really anxious about my writing being disjointed so I get fixated on things like "three" so if everything is three then that means that it's connected and that means that it's good, but it doesn't. I did try to do something with it: basically the first, in whatever the "three" is, was meant to mean temporary things in different senses, the second represented some unceasing, overbearing loneliness or something like it, and the third represented some dashing of the first thing, but I really don't think I got across what I was trying to: either in this attempt or in the first one. I really don't think I can say what the "three" thing was meant to mean other than just by trying to do it in the first part, no matter how inadequate it may be. So this whole thing probably would have been better without this one actually. I spent my whole birthday working on this thing and i can't throw the whole thing out now cause I don't like the last part.

#birthday #writing #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #writerscommunity

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falsebooles123 · 2 years

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Diary of a Horror Buff 8/4/22

So today was a kinda annoying day at work. There going to the coast for an event and for reasons that I don’t really want to get on here I’m staying home. I Basically worked a 6 hour that could have been a lot shorter if there was more planning. Through that being said I need the money so whatevs.

I made plans to drop off the SUV at the mechanics since I have this thing called a misfiring cylinder I’m just glad to not be driving all the way out in the valley for work rn.

anyway like I said technically short films are NOT ALLOWED. But fuck the rules I do what I want. Now I don’t know how many Crypt TV Shorts are on Letterboxd but I found a list with fifty of them so thats at least a good place to start. Maybe sometime I will create a list that lists all of them but I still haven’t finished my big joel list so fuck it.

and before you ask there is a surprising amount of gifs that very inappropriate when I typed in “fuck it”. Whores(affectionate)

ok lets get into it.

youtube

7 Rules CRYPT TV dir. Mike Castro

Ok so rather aprepo I’m breaking a rule by having this on here. another one of the rules is you can’t have any rewatches and I have seen this before BUT.

<Valley Girl Voice>It was like before I even had a Letterboxd account so I never recorded it so it like doesn’t even count.

This was the only thing that popped up when I searched “Thats on Periodt”

OK so if you are like me and have read creepy pastas, (and before you ask no I have never had a Creepy OC because I am perfect, and wholesome, and ABOVE CRINGE.) you might be formaler with a Format? Trope? Genre? of story that is essential a list of rules. Its basically a natural progression of the Ritual Creepy Pasta but with some FNAF flavor. Random Person takes a job to be a security guard, graveyard shift, hospice nurse, Etc. and they get a note that says heres the list of rules that you have to follow to the letter.....

and most of these stories are a bit much. theres too many there hyper specific, and theres no way any normal person would be able to do have of the things that are asked of them. That being said its kinda missing the point. the really good ones, (take that with a grain of salt), lead the story through implication, they tell the story through the hidden details in the story. Like all good horror its not about waving the flashlight around the basement. Its the feeling that theres something just outside the safety of the beam. You want to see nothing but you feel that you won’t be safe till you see something.

Basically 7 rules is a more realistic version of that. a woman is house sitting for the weekend and gets a note with 7 RULES OMG JUST LIKE THE TITLE>. she does not follow them bad things happen. I actually really liked it. It was fun, it had this really great sense of humor to it, and I also like the fact that it had this very Internet horror root or at least something I recognise as coming from that branch of horror fiction. Overall worth a watch.

vimeo

Antoni Psycho (2018) CRYPT TV dir. Antoni Porowski????

OK so as far as I can tell this is a 2 minute short in which Antoni Porowski, who is in some show called queer eye for the straight guy, parodies the opening scene from American Psycho which is another film I have not watched.

Honestly this doesn’t do it for me. mostly cause I’ve never really cared about the subject matter and also I don’t really like Queer Eye? Like happy it exists and people enjoy it but for the whole idea of fabulous queens helping some poor smuck become a metrosexual just feels really regressive. It creates this false dicotomy that the culteral performance of queerness and straighness are strictly defined. Straight men are gross slobs who are too stupid and toxic to use conditioner and gay men are hyper feminine metrosexuals who are always FABULOUS.

and as a queer man I don’t identity with either of those notions. As a man who has been stigmatized for my self-expression it took me years to unlearn all the toxic ideas I had about my own body and clothing choices. Now I can enjoy things like wearing makeup and thigh highs BUT I also don’t feel the pressure to NOT present traditional masculine. I honestly really enjoy a hoodie and joggers sometimes even if it feels like camp straightness.

the whole premise of the show implies these notions that there is a certain presentation of queerness or straightness that is normitive and I think its really belittling to accept that. I think its wrong to tell straight men that there gross slobs and I dislike the overrepresentation of the Nance charater because it tells me as a queer person that I have to perform this level of expression.

Much in the same way that Patrick Batemen feels that he has to want and perform the social functions that society dictates. Boom got it.

youtube

Bath Bomb CRYPT TV dir. Matt McWilliams.

Ok I honestly don’t have much to say about this. Essentially a short were a women takes a bath and uh no body horror. I enjoyed the atmosphere the shots and as a short film this type of taster is just lovely. Its the flash fiction of cinema.

youtube

Be Mine CRYPT TV dir. Joe Russo

This one is just a short fun valentines day themed horror flick. Don’t know what else to tell you.

Anyway peeps that was my daily post for short horror films. Not sure if I’m gonna watch a movie tonight but if I do I’ll keep you posted.

#100moviesin92days #letterbox #movie #letterboxchallenge #Horror #Dairy

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beyondspaceandstars · 2 years

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Am I able to request an additional part to ‘Treacherous’ please? I loved it. Absolutely love it. Just what I was looking for to read. Make me wonder what might happen, like, would the reader want to go home…? Or would anyone be looking for them? Adjusting to the village, being human with an eternal soulmate, I mean, there is so much wonder of what could happen. You are amazing, keep up the good work <3 (:

Treacherous (2)

Relationship: Druig x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: i hope it's ok im using this ask tpublic part two! im so shocked and relieved so many people enjoyed the first part. I sort of left it open ended in a way to maybe do more but also I didn’t wanna do more if others didn’t like it lakfjlfjd I am also considering expanding and adapting this to put on wattpad and ao3

Part One | Masterlist

"H-Home?" You stuttered out in a shaky breath.

Druig walked towards a window. "In case you haven’t noticed, this is my village. My home."

You shook your head. "No, no, I got that… It’s just, I can’t — I have a home."

Druig scoffed, speaking more to himself than you. "I finally find my soulmate and she wants to leave me, aye?"

Something in your heart twitched at seeing Druig upset. You’d read that once soulmates met there’d be a strong bond formed, so much so that you could feel one another. It made sense on paper — this was your other half, you were bound to understand him — but you hadn’t expected it to hit so quickly. You barely knew this guy outside of his unnatural powers and reserved demeanor.

And yet, something inside you was telling you to just appease him. You tried shoving the instinct away and focusing on the matter at hand.

"That’s… No, that’s not…" You sighed. You were really great at this. "I’m just overwhelmed. Today has been…a lot." Your mind thought back to your camping group. Your boyfriend. You cringed.

Druig stepped away from the window and turned back to you. "You’re right," he said. "You need to rest. We’ll put you up in a vacant house for now and continue this conversation in the morning.

Your jaw went slack. Was he not understanding you? How clear did you have to be?

"I—I can’t," you said. "I have to get back to my campsite. Please." Begging your soulmate left a weird taste in your mouth.

Druig let out a frustrated sigh. "What is it with you and this campsite? You told me you willingly walked away from your group. What’s suddenly so important?"

Druig’s gaze got intense, incredibly intense, forcing you to look away again. You didn’t want to tell him and you didn’t want to lie. He was very clearly a…passionate person, no doubt the soulmate bond only intensified his emotions. Hearing your soulmate has a significant other would set anyone offer, but when you considered the actions of Druig thus far… But also keeping it from him would be cruel. It’d especially be unfair to your boyfriend.

"I… I have a boyfriend," you admitted. "I came on the trip with him. He’s back at the campsite, assuming he isn’t out there looking for me."

You heard Druig cross the room and stop at your chair, but you refused to take your eyes off the floor. The air was thick again — in the worst way.

"A boyfriend," Druig repeated. "You have a boyfriend." He let out a humorless laugh. "Well, isn’t that just lovely?" He spat the words like they were venom. You flinched.

"Excuse me for trying to date," you bit back as tears welled in your eyes. "I wasn’t exactly having an easy time finding my soulmate given the fact he’s a recluse in the Amazon.

Druig was silent for a moment before he softly asked, "Did you think it would work?"

"Huh?"

"Dating," he clarified. "Did you think you could avoid this—" he motioned between you two "—by dating others?"

You shook your head, not in admission but defeat. "I really don’t want to get into it."

"Fine," Druig said with a shrug. He walked to the infirmary’s entrance. "Then I will show you to your quarters. Are you able to walk?"

You opened your mouth to fight him on this again but nothing came out. You couldn’t do it, it wasn’t worth it anymore. Silently, you nodded your head and rose from the chair. You followed Druig back out into the unknown village — or as he called it: home.

***

The place Druig led you to was a cozy one-bedroom with full amenities. Frankly, it was nicer than you had been expecting. This village proved to be very advanced like they’ve been here forever. But you still struggled to wrap your brain around it all. Wouldn’t at least one info page about the Amazon mention a whole civilization?

You wandered over to the window in what you assume was the living room. You looked out, watching the people go about with their jobs. Druig had given you a minute to settle in but said he’d be back shortly with some food and a change of clothes. You didn’t want to admit how nice it made you feel the have your soulmate take care of you.

Gosh, the whole soulmate thing was really tripping you up. Who would’ve thought a trip with your boyfriend would lead to this? You worried more and more about Eric as the minutes ticked on. He… He wasn’t going to understand and while you never saw yourself really marrying him, you certainly didn’t want to hurt him.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your door. You crossed the living room and opened it. Druig stood out there clutching a set of clothes in one hand and a plate with a sandwich in the other. You were fairly impressed by the self-sufficiency of this place.

"Come in," you said and stepped aside. It felt a little silly, considering it was technically his place… Well, all of it was—

"You know I can feel it," Druig abruptly said after he placed your items on the kitchen counter.

You closed the door and frowned, confused. "Feel what?"

"The longing," he said. "All your worries and fears for your…your boyfriend." He had to practically choke out the words.

Your eyes grew wide. "Oh—I’m—I’m sorry…"

"But I can also feel how pleased you were when I said I’d bring you food and clothes," Druig smirked. It was the first one you recall seeing from him. "It made you feel good, right? Probably better than—,"

"Okay," you said, cutting off his power trip or…or whatever that was. "That’s… We’ll talk in the morning, yeah? Thanks for the food and everything. I appreciate it."

Druig eyed you, another shameless rake of his eyes like he wanted to find one more thing to comment on… But then he nodded.

"You’re welcome," Druig said and then headed towards the door. "Sleep well." Then, he was gone.

***

You didn’t remember falling asleep but you don’t think you’ll ever forget being jolted awake by the commotion outside.

You shot up from the couch — you do remember being too nervous to sleep in the bed — and raced towards the window but… It wasn’t anything. It was just the early activity of the villagers as they started their day that woke you up. You let out a sigh of relief, shocked by how jumpy you were.

But your anxiety wasn’t completely eased thanks to a sudden loud knock on your door.

"Are you okay?" Druig’s voice called out. You walked over and opened the door, surprised to find him here.

"I—I’m fine," you said. "The villagers starting their work spooked me is all."

Druig nodded. "Good. I felt you… Just wanted to make sure nothing happened." Druig took a step back and scanned you, like he just realized you were in front of him, waking up in his village. "You look nice in our attire."

You fought every urge to roll your eyes. "Did I miss breakfast?" You asked. It felt almost silly to be asking such questions like you were in a cult compound. Well, you guessed you couldn’t rule that out.

Druig thought for a moment. "Why don’t we have breakfast together so we can talk? I’ll bring you leftovers."

He doesn’t delay anything, huh? You thought. You could feel his eagerness, his anticipation. It caught you slightly off-guard.

You looked behind him at the people working. "You’re… You’re probably busy—,"

"You don’t know how long I’ve waited," Druig said. "I’m not too busy for you. Not now, not ever."

That’s when a new feeling came over you. It was…admiration. Love. It was all incredibly intense and you fought to keep your composure.

"O-Okay," you muttered. "Let’s talk."

Druig returned to your quarters minutes later when fresh bowls of what appeared to be porridge. You were sitting at the kitchen table when he walked in, foregoing knocking. You mumbled a thank you as he placed a bowl in front of you.

You didn’t know what to say as you sat across from your soulmate, stirring your porridge. Where did you even begin? The weight of this all was close to being unbearable. You thought soulmate meetings were joyous occasions — that’s how all the forums made it sound. You just felt…unsure.

"Where are you from?" Druig asked, finally breaking the heavy silence.

You let out a nervous cough. "I’m from New York," you said. "Are you from around…here?"

Druig forced a smile. "I’m from a little bit of everywhere."

You frowned. Great, that cleared up so much. You couldn’t ignore how odd this whole place was — how odd he was — any longer.

"What did you mean when you said I didn’t know how long you’ve waited? How long have you waited?"

Druig shook his head, staring now at the table. "It was just a figure of speech."

You placed your spoon down and leaned back in your chair, not believing a word of it. "Look, I know you were the one that was…controlling those villagers. I’m already aware something weird is happening here—," You paused as a thought occurred to you. "Are you… Are you like a vampire or something?"

Druig let out a laugh that sounded amazingly genuine. "Or something," he responded.

You frowned. "I’m gonna need more than that."

Druig chucked. "You’re a tough one. I like that. A lot."

Yeah you felt it but ignored it. "Stop stalling."

He sighed and finally gave into you. "I’m an Eternal. We were sent to this planet to ensure humanity progressed, evolved. We’ve also worked to protect humans from the Deviants, helping all the habitants here survive. It’s our mission."

You stared at your soulmate dumbfounded. Absolutely nothing of that made sense. Or seemed real.

"I… What?"

Druig shrugged so casually. "You wanted to know."

"Well… I mean, assuming any of that is the truth, of course. I deserved to know all that."

"You think I’m lying?" Druig asked, his eyes shooting to you immediately. "You can feel me, you can feel my emotions. Do I seem to be lying to you?"

You concentrated and tried to find him within you, tried to find the bond. It was a weird process and you didn’t know really how this worked but all you found was that he was frustrated. Not lying. Dear Lord…

"So, when you said you’ve been waiting a long time…"

"Try about seven thousand years, my lady."

"But… But how does this even work? I’m not like you. I’ll get older while you—,"

"Look, we can discuss the ways of it all later. For now, I need to know if you’ll stay. I’ve explained myself and we’ve had time to…process this bond. It’ll kill me if you walk away." He paused. "And I think it’ll kill you, too."

You still weren’t certain about how you were feeling but Druig’s emotions were on full display. The first thing you picked up on was the fact he did not want to talk about you being a human. There was unmistakable rage coming from him when you had brought it up.

The second thing was that he appeared to be…craving you. You weren’t a prisoner, he didn’t possess you, but he also would go to war for you. At least, that’s what you could tell from the bond.

Your mind flicked back to your boyfriend as you considered your options here. He was probably scared, not to mention your family back him. While you were conveniently in between jobs, you still had built a life.

But, then again, what was your life without your soulmate? Hadn’t he been the missing puzzle piece? The focus for so long? Practically the only thing people around you talked about? This chance was rare, as rare as something can be. For all the weirdness in this bond, fate must’ve had a plan. There was a reason you two, out of everyone else, got this chance.

You couldn’t try to fall on the religious spiel your boyfriend subscribed to. Sure, you believed Eric had been placed in your life for a reason. And that reason turned out to be so he could hand you a flyer.

Druig cleared his throat, pulling you out of your thoughts. "You’re thinking about the boyfriend again. You know, there’s this particular, unsettling emotion that comes over you when he—,"

"Alright, fine," you said before you could change your mind. "I’ll stay here, maybe just for a bit… Just to see how this goes."

The smile that broke out on Druig’s face was brighter than any sun you had ever seen. It made you rub your wrist. You nearly forgot about the tattoo, as if it wasn’t why you were here.

"Wonderful," he said and stood up from the table. "I’ll start getting arrangements ready."

Your brows raised in confusion. "Arrangements?"

He nodded. "You’ll be moving into my place," Druig explained so casually. "You’ll need basic necessities. Clothes, soap—,"

"Wait, I’m living with you?"

"I’m not letting my dear sleep in a home all alone. Besides, you’ll probably find it more comfortable. This home isn’t used much."

You glanced around at the lack of life in your temporary housing. Well, if you were doing this, might as well go all in.

"Alright, okay… Sure." You sounded like you were still trying to convince yourself of this. You had a lot of questions.

"I’ll fetch you soon," he said and walked towards the door. You called out his name before he could leave. There was one thing you wanted to ask now.

Druig stopped in the open doorway and turned to you, silently asking, "What?"

"When… When you were telling me about being an Eternal, you used a lot of words like ‘we’ and ‘our.’ Are there more of you? Like a whole group?"

Druig smirked like he enjoyed your question. "Yeah, there is," he said. "Hopefully you’ll get to meet them someday."

And with that, he left you again.

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basedsakura · 3 years

Text

s-tier sasusaku fics

disclaimer: not all of these are necessarily romantic sasusaku, or even healthy sasusaku

these are my all time favorites for different reasons, but i guess i should establish some sort of standard according to which i judge fanfics:

characterization: i don’t expect the characters to be identical to their canon counterparts, otherwise i wouldn’t be reading anything other than the original material. however i’m also not fond of fics in which the only aspect of the character the author had gotten right is the name. i don’t like fanfics in which sakura is a cold and calculated genius or ones in which sasuke is a sexually deviant casanova. you might as well create a whole new character and write original work

prose: ok so obviously this is very subjective and considering my taste has changed immensely from the start of this year, let alone during the last 5 years, all the fics below are going to differ greatly. i like to read stuff that hits the spot between purple prose and bland just right. vivid descriptions, exposition, world-building, all that jazz, but without treating me like an idiot. leave some stuff up to the reader. a bit of negative capability didn’t kill anyone

grammar: i mean -- yeah. not much to expand upon here. i’m not a native speaker, so i’m not exactly an authority on this, but solid grammar is a non negotiable for me.

style: i’ve got some serious pet peeves in regards to formatting (when the author doesn’t want to separate their paragraphs for some reason for example) but another thing is i hate when there’s random japanese throughout the fic. it’s fine if the author decides to use suffixes the way the characters do in the manga, or if they want to use japanese words for terms that are well known in the fandom (shinobi, bunshin, hitai ate, jutsu etc.) but stuff like ‘’teme’’ ‘’ hime’’ ‘’baka’’ ‘’kami’’ is cringe (to me (especially since its mostly used improperly))

pacing: obviously this is a matter of preference, i personally love slow burn, but pacing is SO crucial for a good romance fic. the writing can be great, the characters can be on point, but if i feel the relationship is moving at an unnatural pace, if the development feels unearned, it instantly throws me off. i understand a lot of authors wanna get to the sauce quickly, but if sasuke is a rogue ninja focused on revenge, no he’s not going to want to marry sakura as soon as he sees her again. he would be impartial, nostalgic at best. there’s nothing wrong with letting the feelings develop naturally

there’s probably more but im honestly too lazy and i wanna get to the fic rec part. these are in no particular order:

blind by ObsidianSickle

It was almost time, Orochimaru was going to take his body as a vessel. He hated being used...he refused to be used. With that thought, he took the kunai in his hand and slashed across his eyes.

this is like a classic imho. i’ve read it after 5 years and while i do have some issues with the writing, it’s nothing terrible. it’s a sweet, sweet character-study slowburn

monomoth by Ohtze

Everything ends, eventually. Eight years after the war, Sakura's unhinged and Sasuke's obsessed. The fields are filled with corpses. AUish, canon-divergent, Sakura-centric.

this MAY be my all time favorite. the story, the pacing, the atmosphere -- probably one of the most serious and talented authors in the fandom. it’s a pretty dark AU-ish fic, definitely not the healthiest either sasuke or sakura have been, but a hell of a read. still not finished though

instant message by Keelah

She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."

i can’t believe that a first person POV, highschool! horror stalker AU fic is probably the finest slowburn i’ve ever read. each interaction feels so earned, you genuinely feel like you’re reading about sakura and sasuke from naruto and how they would act in this AU situation, not some random characters the author decided to call sakura and sasuke. possibly abandoned

once more, with feeling by jinnyskeans

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.

this is a fun ballerina!sakura and tattoo artist! sasuke fic. the characters are not all that IC, but it’s definitely a fun read, and while it’s not a current favorite, i remember i used to cry over this shit when i was 14 lol. so there’s definitely some quality here if this seems like your thing. plus the author is an SS fic powerhouse, so plenty where that came from

i let it fall, my heart by arabesque05

Sasuke's memories of Sakura are not based on sight. No: Sakura was a press of desperation along his back, a sob to "please, don't hurt them". Sakura was a cool hand around his wrist, startling against his feverish, new-cursed skin. Sakura was the taste of apples; the breeze of an open hospital window; the stinging pain of a third Chidori. Sakura resides in the heart.

from their ss anthologies to their meta, this author came and went and left me with a gaping hole where their writing has been. honestly some beautiful stuff. this is a oneshot, but i seriously recommend everything this author has written

shinobi: team 7 by gallyrat

while this is a team 7, not a sasusaku fic, it’s worth reading for both the world building, the team 7 dynamic, the sasuke and sakura as the author imagined them. i felt like their relationship was very ic, among many other things that are great with this fic. unfortunately discontinued

string theory by diwata

The aftermath of the war brings many things to Konoha; Sakura copes poorly. (1970s AU)

“He’s a war hero, now. So are you. It’s nice to have you home, Sasuke-kun. Welcome.” “Things are different now. But -- I’m home, Sakura.”

this is an anthology, but same as arabesque05, i recommend literally everything this author wrote. so incredibly good

ok im getting tired and bored i’ll probably update this but here you go for now

#yes im a fanfiction.net intellectual and what abt it?#sasusaku #sasusaku fanfiction #ss fic rec #naruto fanfiction #ohtze #diwata #arabesque05 #jinnyskeans #long post

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a-lil-perspective · 4 years

Text

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

#writers #fanfiction writers #writing encouragement #writer appreciation #writer support #writer struggles #writing motivation #writers tips #for writers #omg am I struggling.#hope these help you beautiful people #my writing #it’s a lil thing

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zodiakuroo · 3 years

Text

Cupid’s Bullet

Dabi comes home with a very special Valentine’s Day surprise for you.

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Contains: dubcon/noncon, mentions of death, unhealthy relationship, gun play, fear play, forced orgasms, squirting, mindbreak, angst (if you squint?), quirk usage, one slap but it’s a hard one :3, overstimulation, creampie

Word count: 5.3k

Notes: pls this title is so cringe but it's like bullet instead of arrow cause... ya know but anyways happy valentine’s day from scumbag boyfie!dabi

Dating a villain meant that your relationship was unconventional to say the least. For one, public dates were out of the question, unless you wanted it to end in destruction of public property and some scorched heroes. You also always had to have some kind of flimsy excuse for your family and friends when they asked to meet your elusive boyfriend. In addition, you had to accept the fact that he would have to disappear sometimes for weeks on end to do his boss’ bidding.

There was also the small matter of arson, murder and theft and a multitude of other crimes that you’d prefer not to know about. And while you weren’t necessarily okay with a lot of what Dabi did, you loved him. You loved him so much that turning a blind eye was so easy it made you question your own morality. He didn’t scare you either. Not in the slightest, because you knew in his own special way, he loved you too.

In fact it ran much deeper than that. On his worst days, Dabi could set the world ablaze until nothing was left because in the end he didn’t care about anyone or anything, not even himself. Until he met you, he says. He tells you that in you, he’s found something to tether him to this existence.

Ok so maybe he didn’t use those words exactly, but he doesn’t have to. You know that’s what he means when he spoils you with expensive, stolen clothes and jewellery, when he offers to burn alive any person who makes you even the tiniest bit upset and when he comes home to you bloodied and beaten, trusting you to take care of him.

In summary, your relationship forced you to give up on having any “normal couple” experiences. That included, celebrating anniversaries and silly holidays like Valentine’s Day so you never bothered to keep track of them. It could hardly be considered a sacrifice when you compared those things to what you actually got from your relationship.

Dabi had been gone for close to a month now and you didn’t expect him back anytime soon, not knowing where he was or what he was doing. In fact the very last thing you expected was for him to creep into your bedroom in the middle of night and rouse you from your peaceful sleep with a soft kiss on your temple.

You don’t jump out of bed in a panic, like any sane person would. Instead you let out a satisfied hum, surrounded by the scent of burnt flesh, ash and menthol, feeling warmth bloom in your chest. It should be unpleasant but its Dabi’s scent and you’ve missed it. You’ve missed him. You pick your phone up from your night stand, squinting your eyes at the bright light that makes them sting.

Sunday 14 February, 2:43am

“Welcome home.” You mumble groggily, trying your best to fight off your tired body urging you to go back to sleep.

Instead of replying, he greets you by pressing his mouth to yours. You let out a quiet gasp, startled by the sudden display of affection. His lips are chapped but that doesn’t matter, your tongue darts out to moisten them before your lips lock into a gentle kiss.

You reach up, weaving your hands through his dark hair in an attempt to draw him closer but he retreats, opting instead to turn on the bedside lamp but keeping his other hand behind his back. “Sit up doll. Got a surprise for ya.”

Any thoughts of sleep were long forgotten as soon as his lips met yours but now he’s really piqued your interest. You push yourself up against the headboard and sit cross-legged. You look up at Dabi expectantly. Your boyfriend is smiling wide, skin pulled so taut you think one of his staples might give out. He reveals to you what he has hidden behind his back. A square black box, wrapped in a cobalt satin ribbon.

It’s so cliché you can’t help but let out a small snort. “What is it?”

“It’s a gift. You know… for Valentine’s Day?” He says as though it should be obvious to you.

Your heart swells at the gesture. It really was a surprise. Not in a bad way, you just knew he wasn’t your average boyfriend and that was okay. You didn’t want him to be.

“Well now I feel awful. I didn’t get you anything.” You pout as he props the box onto your lap.

“’S like a toy… so it’s technically for you but kinda for both of us.” It’s unusual to see Dabi this excited. The way he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, eyes filled with mirth makes you all the more curious.

“Like a sex toy?” A giggle escapes you as you undo the bow.

“Are we playing fuckin’ 20 questions? Just open it.” He presses you.

You huff at his impatience but you don’t comment, not wanting to wait any longer either. You remove the lid of the box only to find something wildly unexpected.

A revolver?

You look up at your boyfriend with confusion etched on your face but his gleeful grin doesn’t falter. You’ve never seen a sex toy like this so you pick up the article to test its weight. It’s definitely the real deal.

��Dabi, this isn’t a toy.” You state matter-of-factly.

He merely rolls his eyes and says “Doll, when you can incinerate someone with a flick of your wrist, that little thing is definitely considered a toy?”

“O-okay? What do you want to do with it?” You ask, placing offending object onto your nightstand, not really wanting to hold on to it anymore, the metallic smell making you feel queasy.

“Ever heard of Russian Roulette?” Dabi, picks up the abandoned item, looking down at it with pride.

“What?” You furrow your eyebrows as nervousness starts to creep into your system and you instinctively move to back away from him but Dabi is quick to pull you back.

“It’s real easy doll. No need to look so scared.” He crawls on top of you, caging you in with his limbs. “6 chambers. 1 bullet. All you have to do is be a good girl for me. If not, I pull the trigger and we see what happens.”

The look on his face is positively demented. Azure eyes wide and bright, patchwork face contorted into a a sinister smile, white teeth and silver staples gleaming in the dim light.

“Baby,” you hope the pet name will placate him. It usually does. “I don’t know about thi-“

CLICK

You let out a shriek as your body jolts in fear but you’re unable to move with his weight pressing on top of you.

“You see now doll?” He clicks his tongue behind his teeth. “You’ve gone and wasted a shot.”

Dabi climbs off of you and you’re left lying there with your heart hammering violently in your chest, body trembling, still reeling from the shock of what just happened. Reeling from the shock of what is happening

“You gonna listen now? Gonna be good?” Dabi prompts, rolling the gun around in his hand.

All you can do is nod as your eyes being to water. The uneasy feeling in your stomach only grows worse as your mind races with the possible things Dabi has in store for you.

“Good. Now strip.” He command and like a good girl, you obey.

Your arms feel like they’re made of lead, moving rigidly to take off your shirt (one of Dabi’s old ones). You can’t stop the tears from falling as you pull down your panties, fat droplets roll down your cheeks, desperately trying to swallow the sounds of your sobbing.

This can’t be happening. It’s Dabi. He wouldn’t hurt you. He promised you that.

“Oh cut the fuckin’ waterworks.” He snaps. “As long as you listen, you’ll be fine.”

You try to calm yourself with deep breaths, not wanting to irritate him any further.

When you turn to face him, he’s leaning back on his haunches, one hand resting on his thigh, the other lazily gripping the revolver. “Fair warning, I’m more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kinda guy. But you know that already.” He thumbs the cylinder, making it spin. “Now, touch yourself for me.”

Breathing is difficult. No matter how much you try, it’s like you can’t get enough air into your lungs. Thinking only of gun in your boyfriend’s hand, you still you bring your own hand between your legs, but you can’t concentrate, what with the dread taking over your body making it tough to have any control of your body. Your movements are stiff and apparently not up to Dabi’s standards.

He only scoffs before-

CLICK

You scream again, body nearly flying off the bed before you curl yourself up into a ball. The fright is enough to stop your heart. For a second you believe it has.

“Doll,” Dabi’s gruff voice brings you back to earth, reminding you that you’re very much alive and whether or not you stay that way is entirely up to him. “You’re ruining my surprise. Got it ‘specially for you and now you’re being a brat.” He quirks an eyebrow at you, almost like a challenge.

“So-sorry.-“ your voice breaks. “I’ll be good.”

You’re still struggling to comprehend how any of this is real. You thought you knew him. You thought he loved you. And here he is, treating your life like it’s a game. You can’t help but think that this is your own fault. You thought you were above everyone else, the exception to your boyfriend’s villain behaviour.

“Yeah?” His voice drops to a whisper. “Then show me.” He challenges you. Dabi slips off his t-shirt and moves between your legs to get a better view, pressing on your knees to split them apart.

Self-preservation kicks in. There is one way out of this alive and that’s doing what he says. You spread yourself even wider, showing him all of you. Your hands, glide over your smooth thighs, kneading the pudgy flesh as you get closer and closer your sex, teasing yourself the way he would. Your fingers find your clit and just a little pressure makes your eyes melt shut. Probably for best anyway. It makes it easier to imagine anything but this. You drag those fingers through your delicate folds, letting out breathy sighs as heat begins to bloom between your thighs.

You pretend, its Dabi’s touch. In your mind’s eye you see the two of you, limbs tangled with Dabi on top, resting his forehead against yours. It’s one of those nights where he wants to go slow. So slow that the sensation of his cock dragging in and out of is you bordering on torturous. It’s one of those nights where he wants to lay his head on your chest, mouthing at your breasts, laving your nipples with his wet tongue while you tell him, in that sensual voice that you love him, that he’s perfect, that he’s yours. Because it’s one of those nights, where everything feels like too much for him and the only person that he really has on his side is you.

It’s not long before you’re leaking. Somewhere, deep in the back of your mind, there’s a voice chastising you for being so easy for him… even now. There’s almost no resistance as two of your fingers, press into your entrance. Your fingers are no match for Dabi’s, they never hit all those deep, hidden spots that make you see stars but still, you start to move them slowly, brushing your thumb over your clit every so often.

“Look at me.” You feel his breath waft over your pussy.

Eyelids fluttering open and you meet his gaze. It stuns you a little and your hands come to a standstill. He is handsome, breathtakingly so, even though he thinks you’re lying whenever you when you tell him that. The way he stares at you, with love and adoration in his eyes, it’s almost like the fantasy you were just imagining. Almost like the fantasy you’ve been living in this whole time. It’s enough to make you forget the situation you’re in. Then the muzzle of the gun is pressed to your clit, snapping you back to reality fast enough to give you whiplash.

“Fucking slut.” He growls and smacks your hand away from your pussy.

You jerk as he starts to move it the gun circles over your sensitive nub and then dipping down to your tight slit to gather up your juices.

“All those fuckin’ tears but look how wet you are.” He says more to himself than you as he admires the way your slick leaves a sheen on the barrel. With his eyes trained directly on yours, his perfectly pink tongue pokes out to lick it clean, groaning at the taste.

The next thing you know his arms are wrapped around your legs, guiding them over his broad shoulders. He kisses you on your mons before his tongue begins greedily lapping at your hole. “Tastes so good doll.” He mutters with his nose pressed against your clit. He slips the wet muscle inside of you making you whine. You reflexively grab onto his black hair, tugging on the stands and he lets out a groan of approval. He moves up to your clit, circling it with his tongue before suckling on it. While he brushes just the tip of a finger over your cunt, making it clench around nothing while you desperately buck your hips, in an attempt to have it inside you.

The way he’s eating you out is almost romantic?

Or it would be, if it weren’t for the metal digging into your flesh.

“Doll,” He places a sloppy kiss on your clit, lighting dragging his teeth over the hood. “Want you to squirt for me.”

A lump forms in your throat. You can count on one hand the amount of times that has happened. You’re not sure of the odds that you’d be able to right now and it’s not a gamble you’re willing to take. “Dabi, I don’t think I can….”

CLICK

You thrash, screaming so loud it makes your throat burn.

Dabi still holds you open, keeping you in place. “I wasn’t asking.” He makes sure to maintain eye contact as he drops a fat glob of spit right on to your clit before diving face first into your cunt once again.

He pushes 2 of his long, lithe fingers into your tight entrance. It’s unexpected and you wince. He drags his right hand (the one holding the gun) up your torso, resting the muzzle underneath your breast, right over your racing heart. A reminder of what’s at stake. He envelopes your sensitive clit with his lips, moving his fingers in tandem with the suction. You’re consumed by desire as Dabi brings you so close to the edge.

“Dee-Deeper please.” Your pant out.

He smiles against your mound before complying with your request. “Right here?” His fingers press against that squishy patch deep inside you and your eyes roll back.

“Nnnggg yeah.” You’re barely able to mewl out. You dig your heels into his back and grind against his face, chasing your high. Dabi keeps hitting that spot with astonishing precision but you hold off for as long as you can, letting the pleasurable sensation build until the pressure in your core becomes unbearable. When it finally snaps because you can’t hold it anymore, your eyes squeeze shut, hands flying to his biceps and you dig your nails into the sinewy muscle. You gush around his fingers and all over his face. Dabi doesn’t move though, flicking your clit with his tongue repeatedly until you’re trembling and whimpering, pushing him away from your pussy. He finally relents, a pop echoing around the room as he lets go of you.

He gives you a predatory look, scared face and chest wet with the remnants of your orgasm. “You made such a mess baby but I’m glad you’re finally having fun.” He’s just as out of breath as you are but far more composed.

Your head is still fuzzy and limbs are still twitching but your boyfriend doesn’t let you recover. “C’mon, doll. My turn.” He begins to undo his belt, silver buckle clinking as he rushes to drag it through the loops of his jeans

You pull yourself on to all fours, now eye level with his crotch. He pulls down his pants and boxers in one go, his erection almost hitting you in the face.

“You’ve been lucky so far.” He taps the bulbous head of his cock on your lips, smearing your lips with the pre that dribbles out of it. “But I wouldn’t test it if I were you. Open.”

Your mouth is already watering at the sight of him. So long, thick and veiny. It’s disgusting actually, this Pavlovian response. He fucks you deeper, stretches you wider and makes you feel better than anyone ever had. You wonder briefly, if anyone ever could fuck you as good as Dabi.

You stick out your tongue and he slides himself between your lips, groaning as he pushes into your mouth, slowly, inch by inch. He fills your mouth completely and you shut your eyes, savouring the salty taste of him but you feel the muzzle press against your temple and making them shoot open. “Atta girl. Lemme see those pretty eyes.” He grunts as he plunges into your throat. You bob your head up and down his shaft, the hand at the back of your head setting a brutal pace. The room is filled with the sounds of you gagging and his hefty sac smacking against your chin.

“So good to me baby.” He tilts his head back, losing himself in the pleasure. The wet heat of your mouth surrounding him while your saliva leaks out, dripping down his balls. Dabi is big and heavy, stretching you so wide and making you jaw ache from the weight of him. You’re already lightheaded from the lack of air, no matter how much you try breathing through your nose. You don’t dare to complain though.

He pulls out of your mouth slowly, stretching a string of saliva from the head of his dick to your tongue that’s hanging out of your mouth. You pant like a bitch attempting to catch your breath. He doesn’t give you much time before he’s in your throat again, back to fucking your face.

“I love you so much. You love me?” He sounds so sweet, totally blissed out.

He stops thrusting and tilts your head up to look at him, blinking tear-clumped lashes. You try utter a ‘Yes, I love you.’ but with his shaft gagging you, it comes out all garbled. The muscles in your throat convulse around the deep intrusion. “You’d do anything for me right?” He asks, jabbing the muzzle even harder into your temple, finger resting lightly on the trigger. You nod, watching Dabi lose his composure bit by bit. “Yeah. That’s why you’re my girl.” He pushes himself even deeper inside you, making you finally take all of him, until your nose meets his pubic hair and holding you there. “Fuck.”

CLICK

“Hmmhhhhngggh” You squeal around him but you can’t pull off because of the grip he has on your scalp. When he lets you go you’re choking and coughing up a lewd mixture of spit and pre-cum.

“Wh- Why” You blubber, voice hoarse. You don’t understand. You were doing exactly what he asked. You were being good.

“Sorry baby. Felt so good, my finger slipped.” He doesn’t even try to hide his mischievous smirk. The fucker is definitely not sorry.

You want to beg him to stop this ridiculous game because you see now there’s no way you can win because Dabi doesn’t play fair.

He doesn’t give you the chance though, already shuffling off his bottoms all the way and propping himself up against the headboard. “C’mon pretty baby.” He tugs on your ankle. Wanna see you bounce on my dick.”

You clumsily position yourself atop his lap quickly, before you can even think about it. You know he doesn’t need a reason to pull that trigger but still, you don’t want to give him one.

He grinds his tip along your heat, piercings dragging across your clit over and over again. It’s something he does whenever you have sex, to rile you up. And just like all those other times, it’s working. Circumstances be damned. “Needa feel this hot little pussy. Give it to me doll.” He murmurs against the shell of your ear.

You nod as you lift yourself off of him to hover your dripping wet hole over his hard dick. You slowly squat down on onto him, the fat head stretching you out, burning with every inch you take. You mewl, making futile attempts to blink away tears. You get halfway before you have to stop, resting your hands on his shoulders trying to gain leverage. You’re outright crying now, wet droplets landing on Dabi’s chest.

“’S matter doll.”

I’m terrified. You yell in your head but stay silent, choosing to focus on relaxing your ever-tightening hole in order to take more of him.

“Oh, I know.” He coos, voice dripping with condescension. “’S too big for your tiny cunny.” He leans forward to kiss away the salty tears. “But you can take it. I know you can.” He cups your jaw, stroking your cheek with a calloused thumb. “You can do it for me”

You start to move slowly up and down, using gravity to force more of his monstrous cock inside you with shallow movements. You really are trying your best but that’s apparently not good enough for Dabi and he lets you know that by pressing the barrel of the gun into your stomach. You freeze, horrified, more tears start falling from your eyes. You open your mouth to beg him to just give you a little time. You’re trying.

“Quit being a baby and just take it.” He says before you even get the chance.

“I’m trying Dabi, please just-“

CLICK

He cuts off your plea. He’s not interested in your excuses.

The rotation of the cylinder sends vibrations through your abdomen. Amidst the shock, you release your grip on his shoulders and impale yourself on his shaft by mistake. The combination of the searing stretch and the blunt head of his cock kissing your cervix is so overwhelming that you collapse forward, head falling on to your boyfriend’s chest. You feel the rumbles of his chuckles while he’s quite literally splitting you open.

“See? Knew you could. Just needed a little scare. Isn’t that right.” He rubs your back as if to comfort you. He lets out a low whistle. “But looks like you’re all out of chances doll. Now bounce.” He gives you a spank with an inhumanly warm hand, making you squeal and leaving your cheek tender.

Your hands find purchase on his shoulders again. Dabi’s sapphire eyes are practically glowing, daring you to be stupid enough to defy him one more time.

You pull off almost entirely, keeping just his tip inside of you, before spearing his shaft into you again.

“Good girl.” When he praises you with that raspy voice makes you keen and desperate for more of it.

His hand snakes its way up your torso to cup one of your breasts. Your back arches, pushing into his scorching hot touch, forgetting momentarily about his other hand and what he’s holding in it. He gropes your chest, tweaks and twists at your nipples, leaving red, inflamed hand prints in his wake. You’re practically delirious with pleasure, babbling out incoherent streams of his name along with “yes” and “more”. All the while, he murmurs praises about how good you are and how much he loves you. It’s confusing and you can’t process any of it.

“Who owns this perfect pussy?”

“Dabi. Fuck. Dabi.” Your tongue lolls out of your mouth in the most obscene way, drooling down your chin. Your plush walls pulse around him as he hits that sensitive spot every time you sink down on him.

“That’s right it’s all fuckin mine. My pretty baby.” Dabi’s eyes are focus on where your two bodies are connected watching the translucent ring of your cream appear and disappear as you ride him.

“Preeeettyyy.” You slur and he laughs at how fucked out you are, brain completely jumbled between the fear, the pain and the bliss all combined into ecstasy.

“Doll.” He groans. “I feel ya squeezin’ me. You gonna cum?”

He’s right. You nod as you feel that coil tightening again, threatening to snap at any second. The man finally starts putting in work, pounding into you every time you pull off of him. Dabi abandons the gun in favour of playing with your clit, rubbing quick sloppy circles. “Yeah? Gonna cream and gush around me? Want you to baby.” He buries his head in the crook of your neck, sucking, biting and licking while he assaults your sopping wet pussy. “C’mon doll, please.”

With that you orgasm. He grabs your hips pulling you flush against his thighs, fucking you through your orgasm, rolling his hips up into you until your high finally subsides.

He doesn’t let you catch your breath before he’s got the revolver pressed hard underneath your chin. “Now make me cum.” You almost collapse but the harsh grip he has on your hair suspends you upright.

Your mind is so foggy and Dabi gives you a small smile, appreciating the perplexed look in your droopy eyes. But he’s not done with you yet.

“Hey.” You’re ripped from your daze, when he slaps you across the face, sending your head swinging to the side. “Don’t pass out on me now.”

“So-sorry! ‘M sorry!” You grovel as you slam your tired body down on his dick once again, trying to ignore the throbbing on your cheek, the ringing in your ears, and the ache in your battered cunt. You’re so sensitive from your last orgasm but you don’t have a choice and you don’t dare deny him anything. Your thighs are quaking and burning with every movement but your boyfriend is unimpressed.

“You can do better than that doll.” He lets out a bitter laugh, enjoying every second of tormenting you. “It’s like you want your brains splattered on the ceiling.”

You start crying again, shaking your head frantically. In the time that you’ve been with Dabi, you’ve learned certain tricks, you know he likes it, but in this panic/lust induced frenzy, you can’t remember any of them. Instead, you bounce, mindlessly on him while your gummy walls clench tighter around him every time he nudges at your a-spot. Your legs are going numb from all the effort and you plop down, limp onto his lap, taking him to the hilt.

Dabi tsks at you, reminding you that you can’t rest just yet. You swivel your hips, grinding your pelvis against his while he’s buried deep in your wet heat. You pray to whatever deity is listening that he’s getting close, you’re not sure how much more you can take.

“If I don’t bust in the next 5 seconds.” His hand finds your clit again, you grind across his fingers has you rock against him. “Bang!” He emphasises the word by bringing a heated palm down on your ass.

A choked sob bubbles at the back of your throat, making him snicker

Hands pressed to his chest, you ride him like a woman possessed, the last bits of adrenaline kicking in. Your sloppy cunt squelches every time you drive yourself down on his cock just motivating you to fuck him harder.

“Five.” He grits out.

“Dabi, please!” But you’re met with icy, apathetic eyes staring back at you, feeling the terror that the rest of the city does when they so much as hear his name.

“Four.” He rubs your already raw clit, faster and you can feel another orgasm building, much quicker than your last two.

Your body feels so heavy but you can’t stop moving, not unless you want him to- “Please cum!” You beg. “Need your cum.”

“Three.”

He starts to fuck up into you again with unforgiving force.

“Wh-Why?!” is all you can manage as your mind starts to fog up again, the need to come becoming all the more urgent.

“Two.” He ignores your question, transfixed on your tits bounce in his face. You’re getting close to your third orgasm of the night and it seems Dabi is determined to get you there.

You still can’t believe this is real. You never thought that Dabi would treat you like this. You were supposed to be special.

Or at least that’s what he told you.

Moreover, you can’t believe how your own body is betraying you. You can’t believe you’re actually going to cum. Again.

“One.”

You cry out his name one last time, unsure if it’s out of fear or pleasure. You dig your nails into his arms again, in a feeble attempt to ground yourself as you cum around him. The orgasm that rips through you makes it difficult for you to be sure of anything.

What you are sure of is the fact that there was no bang or bullet.

Just one last CLICK (practically drowned out by your screaming) and the sensation of Dabi’s hot cum flooding your womb. He has a bruising grip on your hips, gun now discarded, and he ruts up into to making sure to stuff your cunt absolutely full of him. He begins to laugh as he softens inside you.

Your head is still spinning but once you’re able to push yourself off of him, you can finally make sense of what just happened.

He was fucking with you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You yell, using weak and quivering arms to throw pillows at him while you cry so hard it makes you dry heave.

Your asshole of a boyfriend starts cackling, clutching his abdomen as if he just pulled the world’s funniest prank while your heart is beating so hard and fast you think it might break through your ribcage.

“You should have seen your face. You were so fuckin’ scared.”

You become nauseous, feeling bile rising in your throat as you come to a sickening realisation.

This is not your Dabi. This is the Dabi that the rest of the world gets to see.

Evil, sadistic, merciless. This is the real Dabi.

You attempt to scramble off of the bed to get away from him, feeling overwhelmed by the humiliation. But Dabi grabs your wrist and yanks you into his chest, wrapping you up in his arms. A gesture you used to treasure but now it just made your skin crawl. “C’mon Doll you didn’t think I was being serious did you?”

You writhe in his hold, hitting against his hard, toned chest with pathetic fists. “Don’t be such a crybaby. It was just a joke.” He strokes your hair oh so tenderly. But you won’t fall for that again. Dabi is a villain through and through. You know that now.

It’s no use fighting him off though, all the fight in you is used up. You don’t know what else to do. So you do the easy thing: nuzzle your head into his chest, tremors rocking your body as you hiccup, while he holds you. That way you can pretend that you feel safe with him, just like you used to.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, doll. I love you.”

#dabi is just the worst huh #sorry about the angst i honestly don’t know how that happened #dark content #dark fic #mha smut #tw dubcon #bnha imagines #bnha smut #dabi imagine #dabi smut #dabi x reader #mha x reader #tw slapping #tw noncon #tw unhealthy relationship #tw gunplay #tw death mention

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jenohi · 3 years

Text

stranger

PAIRING ▸ Watanabe Haruto x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol

WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?

SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.

PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 9626

UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team

A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you’re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.

A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.

You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.

When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.

What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.

Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.

But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”

Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”

Haruto nodded.

“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.

In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.

Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.

You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.

“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.

“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”

You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”

Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”

“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”

“Oh, I see.”

Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.

“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.

“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.

You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.

“Awesome.”

After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”

“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.

“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”

Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?

“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.

“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.

“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.

Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.

“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”

“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.

“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”

You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”

“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.

You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.

“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”

“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”

“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.

“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”

“Well, I told her a secret as well.”

You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.

“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.

“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”

“You don’t have any guy friends?”

“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”

You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”

“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”

“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”

“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”

You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.

“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.

“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

“You should consider transferring to my school?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”

“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”

“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.

“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”

“Good night Y/N.”

The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.

The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’

The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.

“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”

“Uh, about that. Well, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”

“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”

“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”

“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”

Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”

Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”

“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.

“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”

“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”

“It was her. Y/N.”

“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”

“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”

“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”

“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”

“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”

“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.

A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.

Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.

You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”

“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”

“Do you...remember my name?”

You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”

Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”

“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.

Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?

You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?

“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.

If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”

Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”

“Still…”

“Is your manager even here right now?”

“No.”

“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”

You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”

You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.

“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.

You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”

“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”

Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”

“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”

You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.

“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”

“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.

“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”

You didn’t remember. “Right.”

Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”

Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”

“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”

“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.

“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”

You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.

Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?

You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’

Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.

The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”

“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”

“You mean like a diary?”

Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”

“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”

“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”

“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”

“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”

Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”

Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”

“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”

Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.

Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?

“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”

“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”

“Can’t you say something to him?”

“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”

Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”

“Haruto!”

“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.

Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.

“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”

Haruto beamed and nodded.

“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.

Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.

Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?

Haruto: Yes, I just finished

Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?

Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?

Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.

Haruto: Junkyu?

Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.

Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.

Mashiho: Np.

Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”

“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.

The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”

Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ruto! How were tryouts?”

“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”

“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”

“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”

“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”

“Eh?”

“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”

“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”

“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”

“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.

“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”

“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”

“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”

“Damn. That’s insane.”

“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”

Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.

The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.

At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling alright coach.”

“Up for a few more hours?”

Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”

“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”

“Alright coach.”

Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”

“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”

“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”

“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”

Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”

Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”

The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.

“You need to quash that habit.”

“Yeah yeah.”

At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.

“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.

“It was intense.”

“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”

“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”

“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”

Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”

“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”

There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.

“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”

The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.

“What are you doing here Y/N?”

“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”

Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”

But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”

That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.

“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.

“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.

Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.

You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”

You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.

“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.

Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”

Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?

On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?

Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.

“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”

Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”

Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”

“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”

“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”

“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”

Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”

“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”

“Hanbyul.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”

“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”

On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.

It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”

It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.

“Dude what the hell is your problem?”

“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”

Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”

Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.

When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.

Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.

A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”

“Me? Anything unhealthy.”

You whacked him on the arm for that.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”

A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”

You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”

Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”

“The grass is wet.”

“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”

“Okay.”

Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”

You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”

So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.

Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.

Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”

Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”

Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”

“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”

“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.

“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”

Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”

Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.

And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.

This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.

Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”

An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”

“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”

“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”

“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”

You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.

“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”

You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.

“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.

“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”

“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”

“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”

Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.

“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.

“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”

“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.

“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”

Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”

Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.

“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”

“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”

“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”

“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”

“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.

“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.

Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.

“I understand, doctor.”

The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.

Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?

Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.

Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.

It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.

Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.

By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.

I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.

Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.

It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.

If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.

Love,

Haruto Watanabe

You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.

You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?

These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.

353 notes · View notes

tataelingmoon · 3 years

Text

𝒲𝒾𝓁𝒹 𝐹𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇

PAIRING: JIMIN X READER

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been together for as long as you can remember. However, when you find out that you were pregnant you didn't know what else to do but run away in fear of his reaction.

ℙ𝕃𝔼𝔸𝕊𝔼 𝔻𝕆 ℕ𝕆𝕋 ℝ𝔼ℙ𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ𝕆𝕌𝕋 𝕄𝕐 ℙ𝔼ℝ𝕄𝕀𝕊𝕊𝕀𝕆ℕ.

You looked at the test in your hands. Positive. Your thoughts prior had been confirmed, you were pregnant. Without a doubt, you were happy that you were pregnant but as much as you knew Jimin would still love you and the child, you were worried if he was ready to settle down. For something more than just girlfriend and boyfriend. Was Jimin ready for these responsibilities? Would he love you just as much? Is he ready to even get married?! Doing the thing that you were best at, you grabbed your items and left the shared apartment that Jimin had bought for you both. You then called your friend, Haeji and your brother Doyoung to meet up.

You arrived at the park near Doyoung's house and it didn't take long to spot your brother and Haeji sitting on the benches. Taking a seat on the bench you told them the news, "I'm pregnant with Jimin's child." There was a subtle silence before your brother asked, "Is Jimin willing to take responsibility for you and the child? Have you even told him yet?!"

"I haven't told Jimin yet but I'm afraid that he's not ready" You shook your head as tears began to run down your face. Haeji, speechless, tried to comfort you the best she could. Rubbing your back soothingly and whispering that 'everything will be okay'. Your brother and Haeji understood that you needed a moment, they knew you were afraid. Afraid of parenthood and of Jimin.

"Y/N, I think Jimin would be more than willing to take you both into care. The man really loves you and I don't think you need to be afraid. I've seen how much Jimin cares for you and how he even bought a place for you both so that he knows you're safe and that you won't miss him so much. So please, don't let your doubt get the most of you." Haeji nodded, agreeing with your brother's statement. "He looks at you with so much adoration and love sweety."

"Yea Y/N I know you're worried but I think you might be thinking too much into this. Jimin's love for you is endless and I think instead of worrying him that you fled, you should go and tell him the news. I think he'll be more than overjoyed. He'll make a great father and a loving husband." Haeji added onto Doyoung's statement. It wasn't after having heard their comforting words, you thanked them and started to cheer up a bit.

"Doyoung, would it be okay if I stayed at your house for a while? I think I might need some time before I have the courage to tell Jimin the news."

"Sure Y/N, take the time you need but not too long or else your Jiminnie might miss you" Doyoung teased. "But I'll let Jimin know so he won't freak out that you're gone." He reassured.

"Thank you so much Doyoung and Haeji, I didn't mean to bother you guys but I was just scared." You sniffled.

"It's okay to be scared Y/N. I probably would have been afraid too. We all have doubts but if you need time, we'll allow you to think it through first. Doyoung and I know that you and Jimin would make great parents!" Haeji's last statement caused you to laugh and feel slightly better.

"Don't be sad Y/N-ie or else Doyoungie will be sad." You and Haeji laughed at your brothers attempt at being cute.

"Eww please don't do that, it makes me feel like I have a weird boyfriend." Haeji cringed.

"Okay but Jimin does it all the time and I don't see you saying anything." Doyoung huffed.

"Hold up, at least Jimin is naturally cute." You defended.

"Are you saying that I'm not cute?! You're probably just saying that because Jimin is your soon to be husband." Doyoung pouted.

"No, I agree with Y/N Jimin is just overflowing with cuteness." Haeji said in an attempt to make Doyoung jealous. It seemed to work because soon after Doyoung had his arms crossed and was pouting. You laughed at their childish behavior. "Aww is my Doyoungie mad at me. I'm sorry baby, I think you're cute, probably not as much as Jimin, but you're my baby." Haeji cooed. It wasn't until moments later that Doyoung gave in and gave Haeji a quick peck on the lips before smiling again. Haeji smiled back leading up to the both of them coming in for a big hug afterwards. You watched them and smiled. It reminded you of you and Jimin. All the morning kisses he gives you before leaving to work and the cuddles he gives whenever he's home. You loved Jimin undoubtfully. You knew he would miss you and you would miss him but you knew you needed time. You also wanted to plan something special to tell him that you were pregnant. Knowing that both your brother and best friend were being lovey dovey, you took that time to plan the day you were going to tell Jimin of your pregnancy.

…

Jimin arrived home at around 8 pm. He was excited to be home so that he could shower you in kisses. However when he went into the apartment, he realized that it was empty. He checked the shared room but only saw that it was empty as well. Worry coursed through Jimin's mind. Where did Y/N go? Did she go somewhere and forget to tell me? Is she safe? She's usually home by this time. Jimin checked the apartment one last time to search for any sign that the apartment was broken into but he found no sign. As a last resort, Jimin called Doyoung knowing that Y/N had probably went to her brother or Haeji to spend time with them. Jimin dialed Doyoung's number and it wasn't long before Doyoung picked up. "Hyung, is Y/N okay? Is she safe? Is she with you?" He questioned as soon as the call was picked up.

"Your Y/N is doing fine don't worry. She's with me. She just wanted some time to herself for now. I'll make sure she comes home and to work safely." Doyoung laughed.

"Okay thanks hyung. I was really worried."

"It's no problem but I'm sorry that she forgot to tell you." Doyoung apologized.

"Oh no its okay hyung. I know she can be forgetful at times and if she wants some space I'll let her. I'm sure she misses you and Haeji." Doyoung was touched by Jimin's understanding. Y/N really caught the jackpot he thought. "But hyung do you know when she's coming back?" Doyoung sighed knowing that the younger might not take this the best way.

"Jimin, Y/N loves you a lot and I know that you know that but I think it might take weeks. Please don't take this the wrong way. She isn't mad at you or anything but she just has a lot on her mind right now." Doyoung reassured the younger knowing that Jimin might overthink things.

"Ok, I understand hyung. Thank you." Jimin ended the call and sighed. What was he going to do without you for awhile? Hearing his stomach grumble, he headed to the kitchen to make himself a meal. Searching the fridge, he found ingredients to make his dinner.

…

An hour later, Jimin sat at the table alone with his plate of food. Sitting down, he realized that he had made enough food for 2 people. Jimin sat alone at the table and munched on his dinner in silence. He felt empty. Although he knew that you needed her own space, it felt weird without you talking and him replying cheekily or you listening to him about his day at work. Jimin quickly ate his food and when he finished he cleaned up the kitchen before heading to the bedroom. Grabbing his towel and clothes he headed to the shower.

…

You came out of the shower and headed for the guest bed that was provided along with the guest room. When near the bed, you fixed the fluffed the pillows and placed them accordingly before laying down. It felt weird not spending the night in one of Jimin's cuddles. It was something you got used to when you moved out to live with him. But now that you were alone once again, it was hard to fall asleep. You thought about if you were with Jimin right now, he would have cuddled you and sang you to sleep if he knew you had trouble sleeping. Knowing that thinking about Jimin would make it harder for you to sleep, you thought about your plan to surprise the man you love. Would Jimin like it? It was an hour later of thinking that finally led you to sleep.

…

Jimin laid on the bed staring at the ceiling that was looking right back at him. It was only day one of you not here and he was already feeling lonely. He thought about how close your bodies would be and how warm it was to be right next to one another. How cute you would look while you slept. Jimin knowing that if you were to be needing space decided that tomorrow he would be hanging out with the boys before heading home. After tossing and turning for about 30 minutes, Jimin finally fell asleep.

…

You were in the guest room, packing up all your items before your brother would come pick you up. It had been a month since you last saw Jimin and in that time, your tummy had not grew in any infinitely special way but you knew it was maturing and preparing for pregnancy. You felt bad to have left him for that long but the plan to surprise him had been finalized. After negotiating and planning with Jimin's friends, you were finally able to set the plan into action. Jimin, according to his friends, was supposed to be in Japan right now for business matters and would be arriving in 5 hours. Which would allow you enough time to surprise him. Gathering the rest of your items and zipping up the suitcase you headed out to your brothers car.

It was a 30 minute car ride before you arrived at the shared apartment. Getting out of the car, you, your brother and Haeji helped to unload your suitcase before heading up. Upon opening the door to the flat, you realized that everything had been the same. Jimin had kept the place in relatively good shape. If not better than you had left. Heading into the bedroom, you put your items away before making a meal for you three. After the meal, Haeji and your brother had set up the balloons and banners while you cleaned up the house by dusting the blinds and wiping down every surface. Once the place had been set up, Doyoung and Haeji left to pick up the cake you ordered 2 days prior. The house now smelled clean and of homey food. Knowing that Jimin was probably homesick from the business trip and probably missing you, you made his favorite foods. Along with his favorite desserts. Adding in one last pinch of salt into the soup, you started on writing the notes that would be placed around the house. When you heard the doorbell ring, that was when you stopped writing. Opening the door, you saw the delivery man with the crib that you had bought. Since you had paid extra for the service fee, the man had helped you to set up the bed in your and Jimin's room. It was an hour later that the man left and you thanked him for helping you set up the bed. Once the man was gone, you resumed writing the notes and sticking them around the house in places you knew Jimin would find them. With the notes finally finished, you got the flower petals that were supposed to go in the bath and around the house. You made a trail with the flower petals to the first clue before putting petals around the bed. The rest of the petals were saved for the bath later. Letting out a big breath, you looked at the clock to see that you had about an hour before Jimin arrived home. With the time left over, you tried to reheat the food on the stove and set up the table. It wasn't long before you heard the door beginning to rattle. Taking that as a que, you grabbed the cake that was dropped off, out of the fridge and put it into the well-made and decorated crib. It was then that you hid in the bathroom closet, waiting for Jimin's arrival.

…

Jimin opened the door, expecting to see an empty house like he had seen for the past month but when closing the door behind him he saw the house was decorated. The house had smelt of homemade food and it was warm, not cold like it had been for the past month. Is Y/N home? Confused with the decorations, he followed the flower trail to a note.

IT'S BEEN AWHILE... I KNOW YOU MISS ME AND I MISS YOU TOO. IF YOU REMEMBER, OUR FIRST DATE WAS...

Jimin thought for a second. Our first date was the beach. Jimin dropped the first note and went to the small bookshelf where sea shells decorated the top. Jimin looked through each sea shell collected from that beach until he finally found another note.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY. I'M SORRY TO HAVE BEEN GONE SO LONG BUT WHAT DID WE DO WHEN WE FIRST MOVED INTO THIS APARTMENT?

We cooked for the first time together. Jimin made his way into the kitchen where he saw the set up table. He looked at the food and was reminded of the day they tried to make the same foods. It wasn't long before he found the next note.

YOU REMEMBER HOW WE MADE THESE FOODS BECAUSE THEY WERE YOUR FAVORITES. YOU SAID THEY TASTED SO GOOD AND THE NEW REASON WHY THEY WERE YOUR FAVORITES WAS BECAUSE I MADE THEM.

Jimin smiled then put the note down. "Y/N I know you're here. I love you so much but baby please come out. I want to see you already. Can you come out so I can give you the kisses you missed out on? Baby, I don't want this charade to go on. I know you want to tell me something but you're just scared, but I guarantee you, I'll still love you. Your brother told me, you were afraid to tell me something please just tell me. I love you so so much please don't be silly." Jimin pleaded desperately then looked around for any sign of you. You almost cried and wanted to come out at his plea. You knew he was desperate to see you but the surprise wasn't over yet. Jimin out of urgency, went into the room to find you but there was no trace, however, he found the set up crib. Running up to the crib, he found the last note and a cake that said 'We're going to be parents!'

JIMIN, HONEY, THE REAL REASON I LEFT FOR SO LONG WAS BECAUSE I HAD SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. I'M PREGNANT WITH OUR CHILD. I'M SO HAPPY BUT I WAS SCARED TO TELL YOU AND SEE HOW YOU WOULD REACT. I WAS ALSO AFRAID OF PARENTHOOD. PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MY STUPDITY AND OVERTHINKING. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I'M SURE WE'RE GOING TO BE GREAT PARENTS. IT'S BEEN A MONTH AND THERE WERE TIMES WHERE I WANTED TO COME BACK AND RUN INTO YOUR ARMS AND TELL YOU BUT I KNEW THAT TO MAKE THIS MORE EMOTIONAL, WE WOULD NEED SOME TIME APART. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND EVEN IN THE AFTERLIFE. PLEASE DON'T CRY WHEN YOU READ THIS. NOW PUT THIS DOWN AND COME LOOK FOR ME ;)

"You silly goose, how do you expect me not to cry. I love you even more that you're carrying our child." Jimin silently wept before putting down the note and looking around the room. "Y/N! When I find you, expect a big hug and lots of kisses! You better hide good or else, it's going to be nonstop kisses! Here I come!" Jimin excitedly ran around the apartment and searched every cranny that he thought you would hide in. It wasn't long before he looked in the bathroom and found you in to closet. "I found you!" Jimin smiled as he ran towards you. You squealed and tried to run away. However, it wasn't long before Jimin caught you in a strong back hug and tried nuzzling his head in your neck. Your heart fluttered. Being near Jimin like this again felt nice. It felt like home and you didn't ever want to let him go. "Y/N-ie I missed you so so much. I know you were scared but don't you ever do that again. I was so lonely without you and your warm body that I cuddle and kiss every day. It was so lonely without your presence, how could you resist your boyfriend for so long?" Jimin pouted. "Aren't I cute? Too cute to resist?" You laughed at Jimin's expression to which he frowned even more.

"Okay, my little baby mochi, I missed you so much that I felt like going crazy." You cooed and expanded you arms in the air to show how much you missed him.

"If you miss me, give me a kiss then." Jimin puckered his lips out waiting for a kiss. You waited a few minutes before Jimin turned the other way with his arms crossed and pouted. "See you didn't even kiss m-" Jimin was cut off with a quick peck. "Heyyy it wasn't even long. Let me show you how a kiss is like" With that, Jimin pulled you in and kissed you deeply. It felt like forever since he last kissed you. Your mouths moulded against one another's as you both tried to kiss away the longing that once etched your hearts. As the kiss continued, Jimin pulled you in closer before breaking apart. "Baby, you don't need to worry. I'm even more happy that you're pregnant. I love you in every way so please feel free to talk to me about whatever. I don't know what crossed your mind but tell me. Let your little mochi know what happened for the past month."

"I'm so sorry. I was scared. I was scared you were going to leave me. I was scared you wouldn't want a baby because it would mean more responsibilities. I thought you, we weren't ready yet for a baby." You cried and it was then when Jimin soothed out your hair and pecked you lightly on your temple to reassure you that you cried harder.

"Is that why you were scared baby? I'm sorry if I made you worry. I'm willing to take responsibility and mature a little more so we can take care of our little bean."

"Thank you for being so understanding Jiminie."

"Now, should we go out there and eat the dinner you made me and then we could take a bath together." You nodded your head in affirmation while Jimin took you both to the dining area.

"Wait, let me warm up the food again." You took the food and quickly heated it up. Jimin sat at the table, looking at you heat up the food with a smile. He had missed this view. It would be even better if he had proposed earlier. He thought that if he did, you probably wouldn't have freaked out like you had. "Okay here we go. Now eat up baby!" You smiled. Jimin had missed your smile and he swore when he saw it, he wanted nothing else but to see the twinkles to continue to glimmer in your eyes. Jimin dug in and exclaimed in moans to show how good the food was. With occasional forced feedings from Jimin, the food was finished and you both were cuddling on the couch watching a movie. "Jiminie, did you miss me a lot?" Jimin answered with a hum indicating that he had. "Will you forgive me?' Jimin turned from the movie playing on the screen.

"I already forgave you, you silly goose." Jimin nuzzled your noses before giving you smooches. You giggled at his smooches before asking, "You look really tired Jiminie, you want to take a bath now?" Without any notice, Jimin yelled out a 'Yes!' And then proceeded to carry you bridal style to the bathroom making you squeal at the sudden carrying. You both stripped off your clothes before getting into the tub.

You both sat in the tub relaxed, with your back against Jimin's chest. "Y/N, I can't wait until our little bean is born. The baby is going to have such amazing parents. And we're in this together so don't worry. If you're ever scared, we still have our parents to talk to. And we have each other." Jimin stared at you lovingly before squeezing your hand in reassurance.

"Thank you so much Jiminie. I'm so grateful to have met you. You're so understanding that sometimes, I don't feel enough but I love you just as much." You blew on the bubbles and played with the petals in the tub. The bathroom was in gentle silence before Jimin pulled you closer to his chest and started caressing your stomach. You gasped, shocked with his actions. You tried to take his hands off but he stopped you.

"I didn't mean to scare you, Y/N. I just wanted to feel our little bean. I can't wait to go to our first appointment together!" Jimin kissed your cheek before you both decided it was time to get out and go to bed.

…

7 months later, Jimin had been true to his word. He became much more responsible and mature. He helped you when you needed it and loved you like no tomorrow. You and Jimin were now engaged. It was in the 5th month that you were pregnant that he proposed and with the overflow of hormones felt during pregnancy you bawled worrying your fiancé. It was a sight to see. The love you had stayed strong like it always was and looking back to the moment when you freaked out, you felt foolish for feeling such way. Throughout the months, you realized that no matter what, Jimin would love you, except if you cheated of course. Jimin's devotion and undying love only added to your loyalty to the man. And despite the many obstacles that you both will encounter in the future, you were willing to go through it together with him. Because you were his flower to guide him in the wind.

A/N: I might add in a little drabble series of Y/N’s journey. Probably just little snippets. But I hope it was enjoyable!

#btsfanfic #bts jimin #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #slight angst #IT'S MY FIRST TIME WRITING A JIMIN STORY #jungkook #taehyung #hoseok #namjoon #jin #yoongi #lightheartedfanfic #dad jimin #pregnant reader

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