#this is a love letter to tony honestly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justmeinadaze · 11 months

Note

Smutty request here....massage therapist(s) Eddie and/or Steve 🥴

Got me feeling all the things

Happy Ending (Steddie X You)

A/N: So this intimidated me a bit because I don't a whole lot about massages and that field. But I ran with what I know and put a spin on it. I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Masseuses Steddie and you and all that implies (I regret nothing), mentions of stress from the read and a broken heart, she is aware that they provide more than just massages, DP (I said what I said), they are gentle with her for the most part but their is slight allusions to Dom/Sub dynamics (spanking, some bratty behavior, and stern tones), I think that's it.

Word Count: 6244

“Trust me, Y/N, these two will change your life.”

“They’re masseuses. It’s a massage, Deb.”

“Yes and no.” You stare at your friend as you sarcastically blink in her direction making her laugh so hard she almost spits out her drink. “Yes, they massage your body but they also do…other things…to help you relax.”

“Nope. No thank you. I’m good.”

“Y/N! Wait, come on.” She reaches for you hand as you start to get up from the lunch table you two were eating at. “Listen… you remember how hard things were for me a few months ago? I was working 80-hour weeks trying to get that promotion, my mom was scolding me because I’m still not married, and then add in being broke as hell.” Your friend sighed as you placed your palm over her hand.

“Someone suggested them and I thought ‘Hey, what do I have to lose?’ When I met them, they were so kind and gentle. I swear for a second, I forgot I was even worried about anything. And that was before the…ahem…happy ending.” You blush as you both giggle. Debbie suddenly leans in closer to you, lowering her voice.

“They both do the massaging part but you can decide who makes your ending a happy one. Personally, I chose the tall, pretty one. Not that the other one wasn’t cute…he’s just not my type, you know?”

“You can only have one?”

Your friend gasps as she playfully hits your arm. “You whore!”

“What?! I’m just asking! More so out of curiosity.”, you shrug. “I guess not everyone is into that kind of…kink but…I mean if you’re hiring them knowing what they do…wouldn’t you want to take the opportunity?”

“Goddamn, I will never understand why Tony cheated on you.” Your eyes meet hers as she softly smiles. “You’re sweet, funny, fucking gorgeous, and apparently really open minded when it comes to ménage à trois.”

You return her smile with one of your own as you lean back in your chair. “Yeah, well, if you ever find that out will you let me know?”

****

You sigh as you enter your big, empty apartment. Tony, your ex-fiancé, was supposed to come by while you were out today with your friend to get the last of his things. Now half of your home was quite literally gone.

As you hugged your arms around yourself you noticed a note on the kitchen counter.

“Y/N,

I think I got everything but if I forgot something can you save it and let me know?

This was incredibly hard for me. I love you so much, baby. Can’t we just—”

You crumple the letter without bothering to read the rest. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. You heard it all before you caught him with her that night and after you threw him out.

After grabbing a beer from the fridge, you held the card Debbie gave you for the masseuses, tracing your fingers over the number.

“Ugh! Fuck it.”, you exhale as you reach for the phone.

It rings a few times but right as you begin to rethink what you’re doing; music suddenly blares through the line.

“Yeah! Hello?”

“Um, hi. I’m looking for the Munson-Harrington massage people…thing.”

The man on the other end chuckles as he lowers the heavy metal in the background.

“I don’t think I’ve heard us called that before. Massage people thing… Yeah, you got one of them here. How can I help you, sweetheart?”

“I, um, my friend recommended I utilize your services.”

“Do you always talk this dirty or are we special?”

“I don’t know. Are you always this much of asshole or am I just that special.”, you growl.

The music on the other end abruptly stops and you hear movement on the other end.

“You sound like your absolutely special. Are you a little nervous?”

You sigh as you lean against the kitchen the wall. “Yeah. I’ve never done anything like this before. Not even regular…massages. Deb, my friend, said you guys changed her life. My life kind of sucks right now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to and you definitely don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. My friend and I just want to help you relax. Pretty sounding girl like you deserves a clear head.”

“Hm. I bet you say that to everyone who calls.”

“You’re right. I did tell the telemarketer before you that he sounded gorgeous.”

That made you genuinely laugh. “What’s your name?”

“Eddie. I’m the Munson in the name. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.” You slide down to the floor as you take another swig of the drink in your hand. “Is the Harrington part of your company there?”

“Yes ma’am, he is. Would you like to say hello?”

“If that’s ok. I don’t want to impose or anything.”

“HARRINGTON! There’s a pretty girl on the phone who would like to speak with you.”

You listen to Eddie pass the phone as he tells the other boy your name.

“Y/N? Hey, I’m Steve. I heard you wanted to talk to me.”

“Are you an asshole like your friend?”

“I can be when I need to. Eddie! What did you do to this girl?”

“Nothing! She started it by calling and being adorable.”

“Oh my god.”, you giggle. “You guys are good.”

“And we haven’t even touched you yet.” Your breathing stuttered at his comment. He said it with so much confidence as if he already knew his hands (and services) would blow you away. “Are you still with me, honey?”

“Yeah, um, Eddie said that…we could go slow and if I didn’t want…the…”

“He’s right. We want you to be comfortable. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Y/N. If you just want a massage that’s fine. If you just want to talk that’s fine to.”

You exhale heavily into the phone before finally making up your mind.

“Okay. I’m free on Friday.”

############

“Shit, shit, shit!” You continue to curse as you run down your apartment building hallway. “I am so sorry I’m late! Work kept me late and—”

You froze you saw them sitting outside your door, quickly rising when your eyes meet theirs.

“Hey, no problem.” One of the boy’s grins as he extends his hand for you to shake. “I’m Steve. This is Eddie.”

“The asshole.”, he teases as his gigantic palm encapsulates your own.

You couldn’t take your eyes off them; they weren’t what you were expecting at all. You assumed Steve was the “tall, pretty one” your friend had mentioned but to you they were both handsome. Eddie had that kind of metalhead look you’d seen walking the streets of your town with his leather jacket and long hair. His Metallica shirt rested perfectly above his belt that was holding up his blue jeans.

Steve looked like the everyday 80’s guy you saw in most romance movies at the theater but his smile radiated a confidence that made you feel safe. His muscle-bound arms in his polo caused a little sigh to escape your lips as your eyes traced the rest of his figure.

“Do we…have to do a chant or something?”

You glanced at Eddie completely confused until he gestured towards the front door.

“Oh, fuck, right. I’m sorry. My head is just…” You clumsily turn your key in the lock and allow them entry into your home.

“Wow. This place is really nice.”

“Uh, thank you. My fiancé, well ex-fiancé, and I wanted a bigger place closer to the city since we both worked over here. Do you…would you guys like something to drink?”

“No, thank you. We appreciate the offer.” Steve smiles in your direction making your knees a bit weak. “You can have something though if you want.”

“Thanks? I mean with it being my apartment and all.”

“Ah, there’s that sass I was waiting for.” Eddie flashes you a tooth filled grin.

After pouring yourself the strongest drink you could find, you watched them set up near your living room. Your eyes continued to rake over them as they exchanged small talk with each other, allowing you some space to get more comfortable with their presence.

The phone ringing startled you as you turned to give it your attention. Before you could pick it up it routed to the voicemail and Tony’s voice flowed through.

“Y/N? Babe, are you there? Please, I just want to talk.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you listened to his excuses. You hated being alone and this gigantic apartment was just another reminder that he wasn’t by your side anymore. You missed Tony terribly but no one in the world had ever hurt you as badly as he had. “…I swear to God, she meant nothing to me. I’m just a fucking idiot.”

Feeling a sudden warmth, you opened your eyes to meet Eddie’s as he towered over you. You glanced at Steve whose own face reflected the same sympathy as his friend.

“…I felt so fucking lonely, Y/N. You were always at work and I felt like you never had time for me. Baby, I know what it’s like to sit in that apartment all by yourself, hurting. Please just talk to me—”

“Hey. Just so you’re aware you are a fucking idiot. She’s not sitting here alone crying her eyes out over some asshole who broke her heart. Y/N has moved on and you should to. Stop calling.”

After hanging up the phone, the metalhead turned to face you again. “I hope that was ok.”

Before you could stop yourself, you wrapped your arms around his waist, clinging to him as you sighed into his chest. His arms gradually came down to hold you to him as his cheek rested on your head.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure. I’m not going to lie, Stevie, we may want to reconsider taking a payment in a hug because this is quite comfortable.”

They both laugh as you pull away and smile at them.

“We’re ready whenever you are, honey.”, Steve grins as he points towards their makeshift table.

#########

Your eyes remain glued in front of you as you listen to Eddie move about the apartment.

“Y/N.”, Steve whispers from behind you as his breath warms your ear. “Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can just talk if you want or we can even leave. No hard feelings. We understand how uncomfortable this situation can be especially since you don’t know us but that makes it a little bit freeing to.”

“Can, um, can I ask you for a favor?” You softly smile when you turn to look at him and he nods. “Can you…take off my clothes? I-I-I don’t think I…”, you ask, stuttering through your nerves.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course I can. Did you want to keep anything on?”

“Is that an option?”, you giggle.

“Sweetheart, you hold all the power here.” Eddie slides up beside his friend, now jacketless with no shoes.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone let alone naked in front of someone. Tony wasn’t lying about that. I’ve always been busy with work and—”

Steve gently places his index finger over your lips. “Nothing that asshole says matters. I don’t care if you were on the moon, he had no right to cheat on you.” His finger glides down from your mouth to your blouse as he begins undoing the buttons while the other man shifts behind you and unclips your skirt.

Both garments fall effortlessly to the floor as Steve continues watching your face for any signs of hesitation or discomfort.

“We’re going to do this one at a time, ok? I’m going to take off your bra and then Eddie’s going to remove your panties.”

Once he gets your approval, he leans over your shoulder and begins unhooking your bra from your body. You don’t know if it’s because he’s being so sweet or if it’s because his strong cologne wafts into your nostrils but something inside of you causes you to turn and softly kiss his cheek.

Steve pulls back slightly, looking through your eyes till a small smile flickers across his lips. He and his friend had been doing this for a while but not one of them had been as tender at you had just been. He knew there was something different about you when he spoke to you on the phone and he knew Eddie felt it to when the metalhead completely turned off his music to talk to you.

He hoped he wasn’t misreading things and took a leap of faith as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead before tossing your bra near the rest of your clothes.

Strong hands on your waist turned you so you were now facing Eddie as he sunk down on his heels, dipping his fingers under the waistband of your underwear, and delicately tugged them down your legs. The pads of his digits traced along your skin causing a little shiver to run up your spine.

“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N.”

“I’m sure you say that to everyone.”

His grin grows as he stands up and looks down at you. “I did have a date with that telemarketer I told you about. Turns out he WAS really good looking.”

Steve smiled behind you when you laughed, gently guiding you towards their table, and helping you up as you lay on your stomach. Folding your arms above you, you rest your head on them like a pillow. The metalhead digs in a bag before kneeling in front of you again till his face was level with your own.

“Which do you like better?” He holds up bottles to your nose and you point to one that smells like vanilla.

“What are those?”

“Oil. Steve’s the smell guy and knows how to utilize them better than I do.” He stands up and passes the bottle you chose to his friend.

“Honey, we’re going to touch you now, alright? It might feel a little weird at first because of the oil but if at any point you get uncomfortable and want to stop or take a break just let us know.”

“Okay.” You close your eyes, unsure of what to prepare for but when a set of hands begins rubbing into you back, you can’t help but let out a soft, low moan. “Shit. I’m—”

“Princess, this is your house. Make all the noise you want to and please don’t be embarrassed.”

“You can also talk to us if you want to. Maybe about things you’re stressed about.”

A second set of hands find your calves and a strong exhale leave your lips. “Honestly, you heard my main bit of stress.”

“Fucker Magee?”, Eddie asks.

“Yeah.”, you giggle. “Everyone in my life thinks I’m overreacting and I should forgive him.”

“Um, we may not know the whole story but the man you were going to marry cheated on you. I think you’re reacting properly.” Steve’s hands trailed along your spine and back down to your hips.

“I went to visit him at work and they were fucking in his office. Some pretty, young, big breasted coworker.”

“What a bitch.” You smiled as Eddie laughed at his own comment, his palms massaging along your thighs and back down to your feet. “For how long?”

“A few months. We…we were supposed to get married next month.”

Fingers came up to firmly knead into your shoulders. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” Steve watched your lips form into a thin line before you pressed your face into your arms. As soon as you felt your emotions were in check, you turned your head back to the side.

“That feels good actually.”

“Did you think the massage business part was just for show?”, Steve laughed.

“I mean… I don’t know. I don’t want to be rude.”

“Said the girl who called me an asshole.”

“To be fair, you were being one.” It feels almost on purpose when Eddie’s fingers slide up between your thighs just barely near your core before sliding back down your legs.

“You’re not wrong, sweetheart.”

Steve’s own hands glide up your sides, grazing the sides of your breasts before looping back around to your shoulder blades.

“I hope I’m not being too forward but you have a beautiful body.”

“No, you’re not being too…thank you. Um, you-you can go a little higher if you want.”

“Who are you talking to, honey? Me or Ed?”

“Eddie… You can go higher to. If you want to…”

The hands on your back lifted off you as Steve came around to kneel in front of you on his heels. “How about we take it slow, huh? One thing at a time.” His palm petted your head as he moved the hair back from your face. You let out a little gasp when you felt the metalhead’s fingers slide between your folds. “Are you okay?”

You nodded as you bit your bottom lip, lifting one of your legs up the table to allow him more accesses. This man felt like a master with his fingers as he rubbed circles slowly into your clit.

“Pl-please.”, you whine.

“Please what, Y/N? What do you need?

“Can…can I turn around? On my back.”

“Of course, pretty girl. Whatever you want.”

They patient waited for you to roll over before Eddie placed his thumb back on your nub. You watched with heavy, lust driven eyes as he stuck two of his fingers into his mouth, coating them with his saliva, and sliding them into your sex.

“Oh wow, princess. You’re tight.” He exhaled, trying to hide the little moan that wanted to be heard.

Steve stood back up to his full height, coming around to stand behind your head as he reached down and ran his hands over your tits, massaging them gently but firmly.

“F-fuck.”, you whimpered. As your back arched, you could help but notice the bulge in his pants. When you tried to touch it with your palm, he jumped back like you startled him.

“Hey. Um, you…you don’t have to do that, honey. We’re here for you.”

“You don’t want me to feel you?”

Your voice sounded so small; Steve felt his cock twitch. “I…I do…I just…you don’t have to.”

Grabbing his shirt, you yanked his lips to yours. The combination of man and mint on his tongue had you clenching tighter around the other boy’s fingers making him groan, this time much louder than before.

“I want to.” You slid further up the table, allowing your head to hang a bit over the edge, licking your lips as the man pulls down his shorts just enough for his dick to spring free. “Jesus. I’ve never had anyone as big as you are before.”

He smirks as he subtly chuckles. “You can’t say things like that or else I’m going to cum before you even touch me.”

Your tiny hand reaches for him as he steps closer, mewling when your tongue runs along his tip. You don’t see it but the men give each other a cursory glance. This is a little out of bounds for them in the sense of they rarely ever have the women they massage service them in this way and on the off chance a client does it’s usually during the second part when they are alone with one of them in the bedroom.

Steve continues to be gentle with you as he runs his fingers through your hair when you wrap your lips around his hard, now throbbing length. Eddie thrusts his fingers into you at a faster pace and your moans vibrate through to the boy in your mouth.

“Goddamn, Y/N. Your mouth feels so good. Your ex is a fucking idiot.”

They both take note of your reaction, your head bobbing faster as your pussy clenches again.

“He really is, sweetheart. Makes me want to call him back and curse that fucker out.”

Tugging your head back, you continue to pump him with your fist as your hips began to grind up into the metalhead’s hand.

“Fuck, I’m…”

“That’s it, beautiful girl. Just let go. It’s okay.” Eddie pressed the heel of his palm against your clit as he moves his fingers move at a quicker pace. The sound of your slick fills the room and after a few moments your body trembles as you cum. “Good girl. Coming like that. Geez, I’m so fucking hard right now.”

Abruptly, you sit up and grab the back of the man’s neck as you bring his lips to yours. After your release, your kisses were much hungrier and you reveled in the taste him as your hands shot down to fumble with his jeans.

“Wait…are you sure…you don’t want Steve.”, he asks between kisses. “You’ve kinda…got him…all riled up.”

“Want both.”

Eddie froze as he pulled his head back. When you tried to chase his lips, his palms gripped either side of your face forcing you to focus.

“Hey, you don’t have to do that.”

“Want to.” You tried to lurch forward again but he was much stronger than you, holding you in place.

“Y/N, princess, come down from cloud 9 and really think about what you’re asking for.”

You couldn’t control the annoyed exhale or tone as your eyes met his. “Am I not allowed? I can pay you more.”

“It’s not about the money. We—”, Steve began before you cut him off.

“Want me to be comfortable. I know! I know what I’m asking for. Now, do you want to fuck me or not!?”

Ringed fingers snaked into your hair and firmly pulled it back. Something changed in Eddie’s eyes; a look he saved for partners he had in his own bedroom.

“Control the attitude, Y/N.”, he growled. “Listen to what he’s saying. It’s not about the money and it’s not about getting off. It’s not fun for anyone here if you wake up in the morning with regret. And while this little session here IS all about you, don’t forget we’re people to. We’ve been doing this for years and no one has ever asked to take us both one right after the other.”

“I’m not asking for that either. I want you both…at the same time.” They look at each other again, unsure of what to do or say. Your hand reaches out to turn his attention back to you as you lean your forehead on his. “Please, Eddie. I know what I’m asking for. I need it. I need you both. Please, please, please.” As you keep repeating your last word, you manage to fully unbutton his jeans, glide your hand through the waistband of his boxers, and rub your palm against his cock.

His jaw falls open as your lips trail down his neck.

“I mean…if she thinks she can handle it.”

Eddie growled again with more vigor as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom with Steve in tow. After tossing you onto the bed, he tore off his shirt, and you marveled at his tattoos, crawling on your knees till you were in front of him again. His hands laced in your hair as your tongue descended down his chest, stopping just above his waistline to allow him to shuffle out of his pants.

The bed dipped behind you, suddenly feeling strong palms grip your hips and lift them a bit higher into the air. Steve’s own tongue licked a long stripe through your folds causing your body to shudder pleasantly at the feeling. Eddie held the base of his cock, allowing the tip to brush against your lips.

You opened your mouth for him and he wasted no time pushing through, groaning when your warm saliva began coating him. The metalhead was much thicker than his friend and at times you struggled to take him, gagging around his dick as he occasionally hit the back of your throat.

The strong vibrations of your moans as Steve latched his mouth to your clit had Eddie’s own eyes rolling back as he held on to your hair tighter trying to control himself from just face fucking you till he came.

You weren’t sure if it was on purpose or not but both men were still massaging you with their palms, Steve especially. His hands rubbed and caressed firmly up your lower back, around to your stomach, and down to your thighs as his tongue flicked against your bundle of nerves. While one of Eddie’s hands remained in your hair, the other ran between your shoulder blades and around to your front to knead your breasts adding to your high.

Your mouth came off the boy in front of you with a pop as drool dangled from your lips.

“Yes, Steve. Please, you’re going to make me cum.”

You practically screamed as he pressed his mouth further into your core, sucking and licking until you felt the coil snap as you came. Your upper half fell flat against the mattress as you panted, smiling softly as your body continued to twitch.

Eddie’s fingers left your hair and moved to your shoulders as he lifted you back up to your knees so he could see your face.

“This is the last time I’m going to ask, sweetheart. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, Eddie, I’m sure I want you both inside of me.”

His head tilts to the side at your answer, mostly because it was said correctly, or at least how he liked his questions answered. He wondered if there was a submissive side of you that enjoyed it a bit rougher like they did. Both men NEVER brought that into the bedroom with a client and most of the time none of the women they were with never asked.

You weren’t asking either but he imagined, like they did, that was something personal for you so you saved it for the man you were dating or intimate with.

Eddie shook the thoughts from his head as his hand laced around your neck and brought your lips to his again.

“Seriously, your fiancé is so fucking stupid to let you go.”

You smiled up at him and wrapped your arms around his waist as you yanked him closer to you for a hug. He could get used to this.

“Have you ever done this before?”, Steve asked.

“This exactly, no. Have I ever done anal before? A couple of times. You may need to go a bit slow at first especially since…um…I’ve never had a man, men, as big or thick like you guys.”

You giggle when the boy exhaled again, grabbing your waist, and falling on to the bed with you on top of him. “You have to stop saying things like that. You’re going to kill me!”

“What, do you want me to lie? ‘Oh Daddy. Your cock is average size and will definitely not split me in half.’” Your giggle turned into a full-blown laugh until you notice he had a funny little look on his face. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong? I was just—”

Steve leans up, cutting you off with a passionate kiss. “You’re an interesting woman. Eddie’s right. I seriously don’t understand why anyone would cheat on you. If you were mine, I don’t think I’d ever leave your side.”

“Aw…that’s creepy.”, you playfully smiled.

On impulse, he smacked your ass. They never did that first. Sometime a client would ask for a light spank but he just delivered you one he’s only given to bratty girls in his bedroom. He didn’t mean to but something about you made him comfortable.

“Shit. I…I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, dismissing his apology as you kissed him again. Eddie reached over your shoulder to hand his friend a condom and they both hastily tore into the wrapper before sliding it on. His eyes met yours as he leaned back against your mattress and his hands gripped your waist.

“Whenever you’re ready, honey.”

Nodding, you exhaled the nerves as you tipped forward, and slowly lowered your body to his. You both moaned when his tip breached your entrance and Steve craned his neck to watch himself disappear inside of you inch by inch.

“Fuck, baby. That’s it. Take your time.”

You heard the metalhead’s heavy breathing behind you as he stroked his cock at the site before him. The sound caused you to clench and a broken mewl left you as you pushed yourself further onto him.

“Oh my god. You’re so…I can’t…”

His palm glided up your sides to caress your cheek. “Yes, you can, Y/N. You’re doing so good taking me already. Do you want some help?”

When you nodded, he firmly took hold of the back your neck and lowered you till your face was hovering over his. His hips thrust up to meet yours and your mouth fell open.

“That’s it, baby. Good girl. I’m going to do it again, ok?” When you nod again, he pumped into you a couple more times till you felt him bottom out. “Good girl. Such a good girl. Jesus, so fucking tight. You feel so good, pretty girl. It’s Eddie’s turn. Let him know when you’re ready.”

After a few moments and subtly thrusts from Steve, you turned towards his friend and gave him the okay.

Hands spread open your ass and you tightened around the other man again when you felt spit hit your asshole and Eddie’s fingers massaging it in. Your body tensed slightly when the tip of his cock rubbed between your cheeks.

“Sweetheart, if at any point you want to stop, I want you to say ‘Red’ for me, alright? Can you tell me what I just said?”

“If…if—fuck—if I want to stop…say ‘red’.”

“Atta girl.”, he praised as he quickly leaned forward to kiss your temple.

Prepared, Steve’s palms held on to your face as Eddie began to push into your body. Your head started to droop but his grip was stronger than yours. “Y/N, look at me, honey.” When you did what he asked, his thumb extended out to run along your bottom lip. “You’re doing amazing. How do you feel?”

“F-full.” The metalhead licked the pads of his fingers, looping his arm under your body to slowly and softly massage circles into your clit. “Oh my god!”

You tried to collapse against Steve’s chest but he still wouldn’t allow it.

“Holy shit. Y/N, stop moving.”, he scolded in a firm tone before he realized what headspace he was slipping into and reeling himself back into the present. “Baby, not yet. You…you say you’ve never had anyone as big as us. I-I don’t know about, Ed but I’VE never…had a woman as tight as you.” He flashed you a small smile. “I’m trying so fucking hard not to cum right now.”

Eddie’s hair bobbed behind you and the man knew he was nodding in agreement.

“You can—mmm—you can talk to me…like you did. I-I-I don’t mind.”

His eyes scanned over your face as your eyes closed. “Hey, I said keep your eyes open, sweet girl.” You purposely ignored him, grinding your hips forward slightly for good defiant measure. Both men grunted at the action but it was Steve who held your face tighter.

“Look at me, now.” This time you listened. “What did I say, Y/N? Don’t fucking move. You need to be patient, little girl. Do you understand me?”

“Y-yes, I understand.” At that moment, the metalhead’s hips finally connected against yours. “You…you both can…move. Please, I need you to move.”

The man underneath you released your face and circled his arms around you as he pressed you to his chest. When they both thrusted into you at the same time, the euphoria you felt was indescribable. It was like they knew exactly what you needed and where they needed to be. Each stroke was strong and precise, hitting every nerve inside of you, and setting your body ablaze.

“Go-go ahead, princess. You wanted—goddamn—you wanted to move so bad. Take over.” Eddie’s hand came down hard on your behind and you hurriedly (and willingly) did as he commanded. Their grunts and groans drove you crazy, egging you on as you bounced and rolled your hips as fast as you could. The obscene sound of skin hitting skin echoed in your room mixed with your whimpers of pleasure.

It was almost too overwhelming as the ball in your belly began to wind faster and faster. Steve’s grip moved to your hips as Eddie held on to your shoulders.

“Cum, baby. Let go and cum as hard as you fucking can.”, the man under you whispered into your ear. Your forehead fell into the mattress beside his head as they both pounded into you. Their rhythm changed as they slowed, punching the air from your lungs as white blurs your vision. You scream into the bed below you as they fuck you through it, Steve lifting his hand to run his fingers through your hair.

“That’s it. Good-good fucking girl. Taking us both so well.” Eddie tilted forward, placing sloppy, wet kisses against your back as he rolled his hips. He soon followed after you, grunting loudly as he spilled into the condom. Steve, unable to hold back any longer, came as well, smacking his hips against yours and using you to milk himself dry.

#########

Eddie’s eyes blink open as his watch beeps signaling midnight. His eyes take a quick scan of the area, realizing they were still in your apartment. He and Steve were tucked under your sheets but you weren’t between them.

“Steven.” The metalhead reached over to shake his friend’s shoulder. “Steve, wake up.”

“Huh? Wha?”

“Oh my god, you idiot. Steve. WAKE. UP.” Between each word, he firmly punched his arm causing the other man to grumble in anger.

“What?! Why are you in my room?”

“Oh, you know. I thought I could just use a nice Harrington cuddle. WE AREN’T AT HOME!”, he hisses.

Steve rubs his eyes before Eddie’s words sink in and he bolts up right. “Shit. We fell asleep.”

“You don’t say.”

“Shut the fuck up, Munson. Where is she?”

As he shrugs, they both jump out of bed. Steve finds his clothes on the floor but the other boy struggles to find his.

“I know I took them off here.”

“You did.” They both jump at the sound of your voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I woke up before you and noticed your clothes had oil on them from when you picked me up so I washed them for you.”, you softly smiled as you handed Eddie his jeans and shirt.

“Um, thank you. You…you didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s no problem. I was hungry to I heated up some left-over pizza if you want some.”

Their eyes scanned over you as you leaned in the doorframe with a mug in your hand. You had changed into an oversized shirt with a metal band that Eddie definitely knew and some sleep shorts. Your hair was a little frayed but to both of them you looked like an angel.

“I mean, you don’t have to. I don’t really know what the protocol is or how this works.”

“Well, to be fair, I’m not sure if you noticed but this whole thing was a bit off script for what we normally do.”, Steve grins as he nervously chuckles. He has no idea what they are supposed to do either.

You silently nodded before turning and heading back out to the kitchen as they follow behind.

“How, uh, how are you feeling?”, Eddie asks.

“Calm. Oddly relaxed. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve felt like this since before I got in engaged.” You hop up onto the counter before meeting their gaze. “Thank you.”

They smile as Steve heads for where their things were as Eddie grabs a slice of pizza. “I made some coffee to if you want some.”

“Did you put our table and all that way?”

“Oh, yeah. I cleaned it to. I’m not sure if you’re supposed to use a certain type of cleaner but I just used my 409. I folded it and placed it by the door with your bags. I, um, I wasn’t sure if when you woke up you’d…want to make a quick getaway.”

They exchanged a look as your head hung.

“Why do you think we would want to do that?” When you shrug at Eddie’s question, he saunters casually over to you and lifts your chin with his fingers. “Let me rephrase. Is that what you want us to do?”

“Do you want us to leave?”, Steve reiterated.

“Like I said, I don’t know…how this works…”

“That’s not what I asked, Y/N.”

“No…I don’t want you to leave.”

They both grin at your answer. “We don’t want to leave either.”

Eddie starts to giggle through his teeth as he jumps on the counter beside you.

“What’s so funny, Munson?”, Steve asks as he comes to lean on the counter across from you both.

The metalhead intertwines his fingers with yours and you lean your head on his shoulder.

“Nothing. Just…this gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘happy ending’.”

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irondad-defensesquad · 4 months

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i think mcu steve is extremely idealized.

first, he becomes a super human, and apparently all his disabilities and medical problems disappear. which is honestly not a good message to actual disabled people, imo.

second, his backstory is mostly mentioned. we don't see a lot from steve's childhood or anything on screen. i think they detail it more in the comics, the same way they do for tony's childhood, but the fact that it's almost absent from the movies is a problem. they only mention his mother's name as far as i remember. nothing else. (please correct me if i'm wrong, of course)

mcu steve doesn't feel like a flawed character that has to change, the same way others are, like tony. mcu tony is clearly a flawed human being with several issues and a traumatic childhood (even if the mcu tries to paint howard in a good light, it still explains why tony deals with so much self-hatred and relies on unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as drinking). we don't see steve developing as a character. they might joke in that one scene of endgame where present steve rolls his eyes at past steve, but honestly? to me they feel like the same character. steve never changes. even when he's clearly wrong, the narrative insists that he's right.

steve betrays tony and gives him a half-assed "apology" letter. steve does not mourn sam and bucky at all in endgame, instead focusing on that one girl he kissed ONCE. and steve not only abandoned bucky, he took away peggy's agency and her happy ending. she already had a loving husband and children. not to mention the implications here. steve went back to a very flawed and bigoted period of time, and it's implied that he did not try to intervene in tragedies such as bucky being turned into the winter soldier, or tony's parents tragically dying. steve just stayed home. why couldn't he fucking do that in the present? he could've retired without changing someone else's life for his own gain.

it doesn't make SENSE. the winter soldier was a great film and it showed steve that he has to move on from the past and do what he can in the present. but no, steve never leaves the past behind, he literally goes back to it. and even then, it's all about peggy. it's not about his family. nor his mother, sarah, who's probably the person who inspires steve the most. but where the fuck is she? why does she only get ONE mention?

and by the way, i used to love steve. the first avenger and the winter soldier are still solid movies to me. that's why his ending sucks ass. and i've seen many steve fans who agree with me. he's such an important character in the marvel universe, and perhaps a lot more enjoyable and human in other media (like comics and cartoons). mcu steve is... nothing. he's just a walking propaganda for hypermasculinity.

#lotus speaks #anti steve rogers #anti endgame #sorry for the anti steve posting today. i'm still pissed #also notice how female characters get the short end of the stick in steve's story #peggy; sharon; his mother who's never mentioned #they deserved better #long post

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aurumacadicus · 1 year

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For @winterironmonth! A little late but who expected me to be on time honestly.

NSFW Friday: Trope/Kink, Word

Tony did his time working as one of the house omegas and then bought out the original brothel owner (and then chased them out of town) so that he could make it safer for the other prostitutes. Tony has definitely killed people to protect his fellow omegas, but Sheriff Rogers and Deputy Barnes have never found evidence of it (although after seeing one omega crying and cradling her bruised cheek and broken arm as Dr. Banner saw to her, they don’t really feel inclined to go looking that hard either). He is the roughest, toughest omega this side of the Mississippi and Bucky is so fucking in love with him. Look out for under the cut!

“Sheriff Rogers!” Tony exclaimed, stomping into the jailhouse.

Bucky didn’t look up from the letter they’d gotten from a different county. “Clint came in with concerns about rustlers this morning, so Steve went to check it out.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at him, skeptical. He eventually seemed to accept it, though, and huffed, “I suppose I can trust you with this then.”

Bucky finally looked up at him, blinking slowly. “Yeah?”

“Someone has stolen my—” Tony began, indignant, then stopped, squinting back at the cell room.

“No one’s in there,” Bucky offered, and sat back in his seat as Tony took him at his word and instead went to close and lock the door. He crossed his ankles under the desk, then clasped his hands over his stomach, raising his eyebrows as Tony also went and shuttered the nearest window.

Tony turned back to him, hissing, “Someone snuck into my yard and stole my lingerie.”

“It was really windy last night. Lost a shirt off the line myself,” Bucky said, shrugging. “Are you sure they didn’t blow away?”

“Everyone else’s laundry is still on the line,” Tony exclaimed, flushing in anger. “My laundry is still on the line! The only thing missing is my lingerie!”

Bucky nodded slowly, considering. “Can you describe the items?”

Tony flushed a little darker, hands gripping into fists. “You’re-! You’re being pretty nonchalant for someone who should have a vested interest in other people not having my undergarments!”

“I have to have descriptions for the complaint,” Bucky said, doing his best to sound reasonable.

“You are not putting a description of my panties on file for Steve to read,” Tony hissed, slamming his hands on the desk to loom at him threateningly.

Luckily, Bucky found it hot rather than utterly terrifying. Or, it was still terrifying, because he knew he had to tread lightly or he would be shot, but the possible payoff seemed worth the chance. “Oh, so it’s just your panties, not your bras and corsets or anything,” he said with another shrug. “I’ve got ‘em.”

Tony opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His eyes darted from Bucky’s face, down to the desk, which blocked out the bulk of his body, and then back to his face. He swallowed thickly, and Bucky watched with interest as his flush began to spread down his neck, disappearing under the lace collar around his throat.

“In fact, I’ve got a pair here right now,” Bucky drawled, and let his lips spread into a lascivious smile. “The lace ones, with the ruffles? The ones you wore to the dance last month.”

Tony let out a noise like Bucky had punched him. “It was you?!”

“Of course,” Bucky replied, sitting up in his seat a little. “You’ve been neglecting me. I had to do something to get your attention.”

“You could have just come to the house,” Tony spluttered, scowling. His hands clenched into fists. “I had to come down here without any undergarments on and you have the audacity of accusing me—”

“So put them on,” Bucky cut in.

Tony froze, gawking at him. He blinked once, twice, then sucked in a startled breath, as if he’d forgotten he needed air. “…Put them on?” he squeaked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Bucky answered, finally reaching down to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. “You’re upset like people somehow know you’re walking the streets without underwear on. So put on the panties I’ve got for you.” He reached into his pants, covering the panties wrapped around his knot with his hand as he stroked over his cock once, twice, just to make sure Tony knew what he meant. “I don’t know how soaked panties are better than no panties, but if you insist—”

Tony choked on another intake of breath, splotches of red just visible through the laces of his shirt. “Soaked?!”

Bucky couldn’t help the way his grin went a little mean. “Yeah, doll. I started workin’ my cock with ‘em as soon as Stevie left.”

“You fucking asshole those cost more than you make in a month—” Tony began to snarl, but then he noticed Bucky’s hand still casually moving behind the desk, and he swallowed back the rest of what he’d been about to say, making a soft gulping noise that went straight to Bucky’s dick. “With the door unlocked?”

“I knew it wouldn’t take you long to notice all your panties were gone,” Bucky purred. “If you’d walked in on me, I woulda stuffed ‘em in your mouth and knotted you over this desk.” He pushed back a little, so Tony could actually see him working the panties over his cock. “Popped my knot on them waitin’ for you. Put ‘em on for me, darlin’?”

“You fucking asshole,” Tony choked out, glaring at him. “Saying all that and then calling me darling. I hate you.”

Bucky didn’t smirk, but only because he knew Tony’s patience was taut as a piano string even on the best of days. He knew Tony was always weak to a slow-drawled ‘darlin’.’ Normally he kept it holstered for really sentimental things, when Tony was getting skittish. He didn’t really use it for sex. He sort of regretted using it now, except that Tony kept making very interesting faces in response, clearly going through the gamut of shock-anger-interest-dismay-that-he-was-interested-offense.

Finally, Tony’s shoulders sagged, and he glanced away, muttering a defeated, “Well, I guess it has been a while since I’ve made time for us.”

Bucky swallowed back a whoop of victory. Tony was spiteful; he would almost certainly take it back, stomp out, and refuse to see him until he returned all of his panties (and probably paid for a few new pieces, too). “Indulge me once, and I’ll bring all your panties back to the brothel tonight.”

“Clean,” Tony snapped, hands finally drifting down to the laces on his pants.

“Clean,” Bucky agreed, watching hungrily as Tony’s shaking fingers wrestled with the laces. He was man enough to admit he would have agreed to any of Tony’s terms. “Need help, sugar?”

“No, I don’t need help,” Tony snapped, but the flush was back across his cheeks, and he fumbled a few seconds longer before he finally got the laces undone. He spared one nervous look at the door to make sure it was still locked, then pushed his pants down to his ankles in one quick shove, not giving himself time to second-guess it.

“Fuck, you really did come to see me with nothin’ on,” Bucky groaned, dragging the panties back down his cock so he could give his knot a squeeze. “If I thought we had enough time, I’d knot you right in this chair.”

“Shut up,” Tony huffed, toeing out of his boots and pants. “It’s bad enough I’m standing here in just my shirt and jacket when Steve could come back at any time.” He held his hand out, scowling at him. “Give.”

Bucky turned so he wasn’t under the desk anymore and reached out for Tony’s hand to drag him closer, relishing the startled yelp Tony let out as he stumbled over his discarded clothes and fell into his lap. “Just a second,” he assured, hand sliding down Tony’s back so he could dip his fingers between his cheeks.

“Bucky!” Tony exclaimed, clearly trying to sound chiding but failing miserably. “What are you doing?!”

“Fucking faker,” Bucky purred, two fingers sliding through the slick between his cheeks before rubbing over his hole. “You can’t wait to wear these wet panties, can you?”

Tony let out a breathy moan as he pressed his fingers in deeper, until the tips dipped inside and his body desperately tried to clench down. “Ooh… Bucky, please…!”

“Yeah?” Bucky drawled, taking a moment to bite down on his earlobe before hitching his hips so Tony was in a better position, fingers pressing in further to his soft heat. “Fuck, you’re so ready for me, aren’t ya? Can’t wait until the day’s over and I can see you at the house, bend you over proper and knot you all night long.”

“Think pretty highly of yourself, don’t you,” Tony purred, hands coming up to cup his cheeks, thumbs trailing through Bucky’s stubble. “Because if you don’t bring the rest of my clothes with you, I will be shooting your dick off.”

“Yowch,” Bucky said, leaning in to kiss him. “You should have a vested interest in me keeping my dick.”

“The panties you’re using to jack off with were seventy-five dollars,” Tony murmured into his mouth.

At that, Bucky couldn’t help a wince. “I will bring all of the panties back tonight.”

“And no one else will see them,” Tony added sternly, leaning back to give him the benefit of seeing his glare.

“No one else will see them,” Bucky agreed with a growl, pushing his hips up so his cock dragged between Tony’s cheeks.

Tony threw his head back, breath hitching his throat, and tried to grind down on him with a whimper as the head butted up against his hole. “Oh-!”

“God, you are so fucking sexy, it’s not fair,” Bucky huffed, then let out a noise like Tony had punched him as Tony’s hand joined his around his cock, sliding the panties in his fist back down to his knot and squeezing. “Fuck. God damn it.”

Tony let out another noise, breathy and wanton, as he felt Bucky’s spend pulse out between his cheeks, up against his hole where Bucky’s fingers were still spreading him open. “Oh. Oh, Bucky—”

“Just think,” Bucky growled, shoving his cock past his fingers so that the head was set snugly inside him. “Wearing this mess around all day, knowing I did it just for you, so that everyone will know you’re mine.”

“God, fuck me,” Tony moaned, trying to rock down onto his cock.

Bucky grabbed his hips and stood, slamming him back down onto the desk. “Wish you’d asked me to do that before I popped my knot,” he said, then leaned down to take Tony’s cock into his mouth and down his throat. The noise Tony made in response was a cross between a squeal and a moan, and Bucky wasted no time taking advantage of his surprise to shove his fingers back into Tony to hear it again, finding his prostate with practiced ease and rubbing over it in time with his dipping head.

“Oh, you fucking asshole,” Tony moaned, digging his hands into Bucky’s hair as his hips stuttered, trying to figure out whether to rock back into his fingers or forward into his mouth.

Bucky pressed his free hand to Tony’s stomach, keeping him from doing either just to listen to him curse and whimper as he swallowed around him again, and again, because that was one of Tony’s favorite ways to come, deep down Bucky’s throat while his hole was stuffed.

“Fuck,” Tony choked out, jerking against his hand uselessly, then jerked his head back with a guttural sound as he came, skull thunking against wood.

Bucky fucked his fingers over Tony’s prostate a couple more times just to feel him twitch, then slid his other hand down to wrap around his cock, holding it steady as he pulled his mouth off it. “’m gonna ask Stevie for a few days off,” he said, voice hoarse.

Tony said nothing, blinking up at the ceiling dazedly. He only whimpered a little as Bucky carefully pulled his fingers free, thighs still spread lewdly, chest heaving. Bucky pressed a kiss to his hip, then stood up straight, breath hissing between his teeth as took in the picture Tony made. It was a shame he wasn’t an artist like Steve, he lamented. Tony was so beautiful after he came, and there was something even sexier about the fact he was still wearing his shirt and jacket, even as his hole let out a dribble of slick and cum.

Bucky winced at the thought of Steve, then hurriedly reached down to finally unwrap Tony’s panties from his cock, tucking himself back into his pants and doing his belt back up. He took a moment to wonder if he should feel bad for what he was about to do, then shrugged it off, carefully sliding the wet panties up Tony’s legs until they were set snugly on his waist, ruffles looking somewhat worse for wear now that the lace was soaked. He fought the urge to bury his face in it, instead stepping over to grab up Tony’s pants and slide them up his legs as well. He picked Tony up to get them up all the way, then propped him up in his abandoned chair to get his boots back on.

“You’re a fucking brute, you know that?” Tony finally said as Bucky was opening the shutters and unlocking the door so they could get some air flow through the jail. Bucky turned to look back at him to find that Tony was now alert, as if he hadn’t just had some incredibly filthy sex, and had his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. “I know we haven’t had time for each other recently, but that was no reason to steal all my panties. I was so out of it, you could have just traded and kept the clean pair in your pocket. I know where all my lingerie is at all times. I’d notice a pair of missing panties.”

“That’s because you’re a priss,” Bucky drawled, smirking. “But I like that about you.”

“Priss,” Tony scoffed, shoving himself to his feet. “This set of panties is more than your monthly salary and you’re calling me a priss. If you don’t bring all of my panties back tonight, I will shoot your dick off. I want you to know I’m serious about it.”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighed, rolling his eyes fondly, then leaned down to press a kiss to Tony’s mouth before he could work himself into a lather. “Have a nice day in your wet panties, sweetie.”

“Day?” Tony asked, nonplussed. “I’m going home right now to get these cleaned. I just need to stop at—” He stopped when the door opened further and Steve came in, jaw dropping open a little.

Steve stared back at him, looking just as surprised, then shrugged, looking at Bucky. “We’ll have to keep our eyes out for rustlers, Buck. Clint didn’t lose any cattle this time, but we did find lots of hoofprints. Morning, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony,” Tony corrected flatly, like he always did.

“Closer to noon,” Bucky said idly, scratching his chin. “You eaten yet, Steve?”

“I was just comin’ to check in, then I was gonna head down to the hotel to get some lunch,” Steve said.

Bucky smirked. “What great timing! Tony has some errands to run. Maybe you can help him carry his things back to the hen house after?”

“Oh, sure,” Steve said, oblivious to the way Tony’s eyes were widening with outraged realization. “Can’t you do it, though?”

“I gotta go see my ma. Becca’s got a cold and Dr. Banner wants me to take her a tonic,” Bucky replied with a shrug.

“Oh, well, I’ve wanted to talk to Tony about some unsavory alphas I’ve seen around that might stop by anyway,” Steve said agreeably. He offered Tony his arm and a boyish smile, oblivious to the rage simmering in Tony’s eyes. “How’s a steak and mashed potatoes sound, Mr. S—uh, Tony?”

Tony took his arm as if he did not want to turn and strangle Bucky with his bare hands. “I’m buying,” he purred. “We can talk about business.”

“Huh?” Steve asked, frowning in confusion, but Tony ignored him, instead towing him out of the jail with swanlike grace.

Bucky winced as he watched them go, suddenly feeling ill at ease. Maybe leaving Tony to simmer in his rage while he wore his wet panties for several hours had not been the most strategic choice. Maybe he should… give up eating for the next month, and use his salary to buy him an entirely new set of lingerie to temper his anger. He could bum off Steve for that long, probably.

Hopefully.

#aurumacadicus writes #winterironmonth #winteriron #lemon

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larcenywrites · 1 year

Note

hcs for tony wanting to ask you to marry him ❤️❤️ fem!reader

aaah yes 🥹 This one also became a little more than something so simple 💛

To Have You Forever

Warnings: nothing really except she/her pronouns and like one mild sexual reference

He never really found value in marriage. It was just something religious people did, or for people that seem to think a pretty piece of metal and a kiss somehow made a relationship more important. He gets you tons of pretty metals! Hell, he has one in his chest and flies around in it! He kisses you every day- he’s done it in 16 different countries! If that was all it took, then no wonder you were so smitten with him. Besides, he was far to busy for lawyers, and paperwork, and planning, and surely you didn't want to deal with all of that either, right? You seemed just as happy and relaxed that all of that wasn't taking up your time.

Every Christmas he raises an eyebrow at all those silly ads, one after another. You look at him just like that, and he's never proposed! And every Valentine's Day he has to politely decline his usual jeweler when he tries to direct him to that certain case. And sometimes when he sees that old wedding picture of his parents sitting on the bookcase in the living room, he can practically hear his mom pushing him. And the longer he looks, the more he wishes she were around to do just that. To maybe even help him understand.

Is it a reassurance? Sure, he used to think you'd eventually leave him- and he wouldn't even blame you if you did. But he knows better now. He knows as a fact you're with him until the end, and he doesn't need a paper with a ring when your voice wakes him up in the morning and your hand flies to his arm when you get startled.

Symbolic? Well, sure. Isn't that the whole point? Just a more tangible form of love, or whatever. But he doesn't need that either. Not when you hide silly little love letters in the form of sticky notes in his suitcase, and let him put on which necklace he thinks you should wear tonight because he's bought you far too many for you to decide, and that's all you'll be wearing for him later...

Surely not just for the legal benefits, right? What more could make your life any easier? Honestly, it might make things more complicated! Besides, you aren't here to make sure you can get all or half of everything he owns because you kind of already have that. Next!

He sighs. What else is there? Fun? To play dress up? That's like every other weekend. Couldn't be commitment. You already have that! How could there be more? You know he’s with you 100%, and god, if there is one, knows that you definitely prove it every day. But that's what finally sticks out to him. No, not the meaning of the word commitment, but your commitment. You’ve stuck around through a lot, huh? He wasn’t always the best during all of it, and yet here you were. Always there to hold him steady after a nightmare, always there to patch him up when he got home. You were still there even when he basically ignored you for days on end and still there even when he was being difficult for no reason. Even when the fridge was full of leftovers and even when he promised to be home days ago.

And for what? To be left alone when you needed him most? To be snapped at when he was in the middle of programming something that he's already fucked up three times and you've accidentally just made it four? To have something to new to worry about just about every week, or for him to start an argument over it even though he knows you're coming from a good place?

For him to be answering all these questions for you?

He's never asked you if you know he loves you, or if you feel like he could show it better than with expensive things and those occasional three words. He's never asked you if those Christmas ads seem just as cheesy to you. He's never asked you if ever wanted marriage. He's never asked you if you wanted kids. So not only have you stuck around through all of his bullshit, but he's never even asked you the important stuff that usually comes with a relationship. And you're still here, with I love you's and soft smiles, with warm baths and kisses. So devoted to a lost cause like him.

What does he even call you? Everyone just sort of knows who you are.

The more he's thinking down this path, the worse he feels. You do everything right to make him feel like he's at home forever, and he-

Suddenly, when he looks over at you sleeping next to him, like you always do, something finally clicks. Something he can’t quite explain but somehow it makes sense. Forever. A dreaded word in many contexts, but he's been living with it for... what feels like forever now. And the thought excites him. Because while you change out those necklaces every time, sometimes don’t even wear one at all, that ring would always be a part of your outfit. He’ll get to call you his forever every time he introduces you as his wife, and he’ll get to be your forever, too. He’ll get to read from a creased little list all the forevers he’s always been to shy to say out loud, but somehow he feels giddy about it knowing that you’ll be just as shy to tell him what he already knows. No matter what happens he won’t -he can’t- leave you behind, and you won’t leave him. And if… he does have to leave you behind, no one can take anything away from you.

He doesn’t know if he deserves it, but you seem to think he does. Why else would you have loved him for this long? You definitely deserve it. To know your love wasn’t wasted, and to know it will always be cherished. To be promised that. He can promise you all of this. Everything!

His too logical brain fights back as always. You already know it’s forever! You’ll still wake up by his side in five years just as you did yesterday. Nothing really changes but your last name. For once, though, his heart wins. He wants to see you walk towards him in one of those long white dresses, to giggle with him in some honeymoon suite on the other side of the world. To have a new reason to keep leaving him notes, and have something more meaningful to anxiously thumb at when he hasn’t called you back.

It’s funny. He never really thought about it, but suddenly (Y/N) Stark has a nice ring to it. He was the only Stark for so long so… well, maybe you wouldn’t mind helping him make more.

Now that his emotions are all over the place, he can’t go back to sleep. He’s planning it all out now! Right when that clock hits 10am he’s on the hunt at his usual haunt, his usual jeweler excited to show off the most popular engagement rings-

Most popular? That just means everyone has one. Your love is far too unique for that. But he can see why the least popular is what it is. Custom? That sounds romantic! Actually it seems harder with all these cuts, and stones, and bands… he’s no jeweler! How should he know? This is going to be harder than he thought.

He’s looking everywhere. Online, LA, New York, Paris. Nothing feels right, but you’d probably take anything, honestly, but he doesn’t want just anything for you, he wants perfect! If you comment on the way something looks while you’re out, he’s taking careful note of what sort of designs you like, but it seems all over the place, or there’s not anything that matches quite right. Maybe he could just take you to go look but that defeats the purpose in a way.

It’s not until he’s in a half destroyed little local shop in Austria- not even sure what town he’s in or if it’s even Austria. It’s not flashy, or big, or particularly stunning in terms of diamond engagement rings, but something about it keeps drawing his eyes back to it. Something about that diamond’s teardrop shape, how that braided band nestled around it so delicately. Or maybe his brain just subconsciously bound to it when it landed in front of his face after getting thrown into the now shattered display case. Shinily sitting at the tip of his nose and surprisingly unbroken. He couldn’t have come up with a better metaphor if he tried!

Either way, he’s taking it home with him, only a little bloody but you won’t have to know that after a quick wash in the hotel room. He’s done it! He found the one! He can’t wait to show you, to tell you! It’s a random Thursday at 3pm and he probably looks like shit, but he’s busting through the door like it’s Christmas Day. You deserve better than his spontaneity, a pretty plan on your anniversary or a gift with a nice bow. But you’re his pretty plan, his future, a gift he’s about to put a bow on.

“Tony?!” You yelp when he picks you up in the middle of the kitchen, tightly wrapped around him when spins you around. He seats you on the marble countertop, uncontrollably smiling. You smile with him, confused but always happy to be along for his antics.

“Be my forever, (Y/N),” he proclaims, taking your hand.

“What?” You ask him with a small laugh, still confused but accepting the kiss he suddenly plants on your lips anyway.

“I know I’m bad at keeping promises,” he starts, pulling away. Your daze is finally broken when you feel something slipping around your finger. You can’t decide where to look, your grip on his shirt quivering. He can get used to the feeling of the cold metal touching his neck when your hand wraps around him. You’re already nodding into his chest before he even got the chance to finish.

“But would you let me keep this one?”

#tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark one shot #tony stark drabble #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark fic #tony stark headcanon #iron man #iron man x reader #iron man imagine #iron man drabble #iron man fanfiction #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel headcanons #tony stark x fem!reader #tony stark x female reader

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pepperonijem · 1 year

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vi. silly things & sensible people || all my love

"Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way." - Emma; Jane Austen

Summary: sometimes all anyone needs is a gentle nudge in the right direction Pairing: high school!bucky x f!reader Warnings: food mentions Word Count: 3.1k A/N: we all need a friend like wanda <3 || sorry for the delay! I had a job interview this week that I spent all weekend prepping for... i passed! (i'm moving to korea this summer lol)

previous chapter || back to library || next chapter

Wanda opened her notes app and started a new note, titling it with the date and began her weekly letter to her pen pal, wanting to update them on her life... or mostly her best friend's life.

You will NEVER guess what’s been happening this semester. Did you guess? Well whatever you guessed is probably wrong… unless you guessed that my best friend just confessed to her crush without TELLING me about it first.

It was absolutely insane, I was getting out of class and on my way to find her and Steve for lunch when I saw a HUGE crowd by Steve’s class and right at the center of it all was Bucky Barnes and the only girl crazy enough to give him a handwritten note in the middle of passing period. I only saw the end of it, but it was… brutal. I’ve known Bucky long enough to know he isn’t the friendliest person out there but even for him… it made me so upset. He didn’t even take her card, can you believe it?

Honestly, this whole time I didn’t realize she actually liked him enough to confess to him. I always thought it was a passing crush, but I guess I was wrong. She was pretty badass for that. But obviously Steve didn’t think so. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so dejected. I wonder if he’ll ever work himself up to do the same thing.

OH. But the craziest part is that a week after she confessed to him, she ended up moving into his house. Turns out her dad and Bucky’s dad were college besties. Isn’t that insane? It’s just like this anime Natasha made me watch with her once. We were in tears the whole time but uh, that’s a story for another day. Or a story for never. She swore me to secrecy after that night.

We actually didn’t realize that she had moved in with him until after the big exam we took when Bucky stormed in and she handed him a picture of the two of them asleep together at the dining table.

Then that night, she ended up spraining her ankle and Bucky had to take her home so he didn’t get to go to IHOP with us. Sad for him, that was a fun night. Not for Steve… again. By the end of the night he was crying to Sam’s rendition of an ABBA song and chugging down strawberry milkshakes. He’s lactose intolerant and he slept over at my house that night. So… not much fun for me either. I–

“Wanda, get off your damn phone and help us move the couch.” Wanda looked up from her notes app to see Natasha, Tony and Scott waiting for her to grab onto the fourth corner of the loveseat.

“Sorry, sorry,” Wanda apologized before rushing to help them move the couch to the opposite end of the room. “Why are we doing this again?”

Natasha let out a grunt as they dropped the couch ungracefully onto the floor. “Scott thought it would be cool to have a pillow fort.”

“We’re doing this for a pillow fort?” Tony asked in shock. “I thought Scott’s mom just wanted us to redecorate.”

“Tony, why would his mom want both of the couches facing the walls on opposite ends of the room?” Natasha asked with a roll of her eyes. Tony shrugged his shoulders and plopped himself down on the couch.

Natasha dropped down beside him with a sigh. “When is everyone else gonna get here?” she asked.

“Well Steve had to pick up Sam, but he should be here soon.” Wanda looked down at her watch at the time to compare it against the ETA Steve had sent earlier.

Tony checked his phone as he leaned over the back of one couch. “Rhodey just texted. He just parked outside.”

“What about Bucky?” Scott asked.

Natasha shrugged as the doorbell rang and Wanda went to answer it, letting Rhodey in. “Sorry, I had to pick up the kid,” Peter walked into the kitchen with a proud grin as Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“Yeah but we brought food,” Peter exclaimed as he placed a brown paper bag on the kitchen counter.

“You brought your Chipotle,” Rhodey clarified as he walked to the fridge to grab himself a bottle of water.

Scott laughed and shook his head as he took the bag and handed it to Rhodey to stick in the fridge. “Did you guys happen to get Bucky too?”

Rhodey shook his head in response. “I offered him a ride, but he said he had plans.”

“Plans?” Scott echoed. “We are his plans. He’s never missed a board game night.” Wanda could hear the pout in his voice.

“He didn’t give me any details but I think it has to do with his roomie.” Rhodey commented, checking through his text messages to see if he left any details out. “He said he’ll be busy all day.”

“His roomie, huh?” Tony repeated with a raised eyebrow. “Have you guys noticed he’s been weird lately?”

“Yeah,” Natasha replied. “Last week I asked him if he liked her–”

Before Natasha could continue, Tony walked toward the group gathered by the island, eager to join the gossip. “Yes!” He exclaimed. “Bucky always sends these weird memes that no one gets exam days, but last week, we had a literature exam and guess what?”

“What?” Rhodey asked flatly. Natasha nudged him in response, reminding him to be polite.

“He didn’t send anything,” Tony noted. “When I asked him what happened, he told me he was up the night before studying… but Bucky never studies for literature exams because he’s a nerd who already read the books.”

Before anyone could say anything else, the doorbell rang and in came Steve and Sam. “Hey,” Sam greeted. “What did we miss? We bought drinks.”

Wanda looked over at Natasha as Steve walked in, silently begging her not to finish her sentence from earlier around Steve. Natasha gave her a subtle nod as she attempted to shift the attention to the newcomers.

“Where’s the rest?” Natasha asked as Sam set down his drink on the counter while Steve found a spot beside Wanda.

“Oh,” Sam replied. “I meant we stopped over to buy ourselves drinks from Starbucks. That’s why we’re late.”

“Remind me to start being more specific when I tell you guys to bring things,” Scott replied with a chuckle, shaking his head. “Anyway, what else were you saying, Tony?”

Tony thought for a second, remembering his train of thought. “Right, so I did some more investigating,” he continued. “And when we were getting into groups for our Shakespeare analysis – I swear I’ve never seen him move this fast, not even at a football game – I saw him join his roomie’s group. He even smiled when she waved at him. I’ve never seen him smile at anyone.”

“He’s not exaggerating,” Natasha confirmed with an eager nod of her head. “I didn’t even realize they were friends, but it seems like lately they’ve been besties or something. Isn’t she supposed to be your best friend, Steve?”

Steve put his hands up in defense before speaking, his voice just a little too loud and too high to sound calm and collected. “She can do whatever she wants,” he said.

Although the other boys couldn’t tell, Wanda knew Steve didn’t fully believe the spite in his own words. So coming to her friend’s defense, she joined in. “Yeah, but isn’t Bucky yours?” She asked Natasha, turning the question back to her.

“Chill out,” Natasha shrugged her shoulders. “I was just curious to see if you guys knew anything else.”

“We don’t,” Steve said flatly. “Are we going to play or what?” Natasha and Wanda shared a look, realizing that Steve was feeling a lot more than he was willing to let on, so they accepted his change of subject. The others rushed into the living room as Wanda and Steve stayed behind.

Wanda watched as Steve leaned against the counter, pushing his forehead into his palms as he let out a sigh. Wanda stood beside him facing the opposite way, her elbows leaning against the countertop. Her heart felt heavy at the sight of her distraught best friend.

“Steve,” Wanda began gently but firmly. Steve shook his head, already knowing where this conversation was headed. “Salad. Now.”

Steve let out another sigh, running a hand through his golden hair, and Wanda wasn’t sure if he would answer her, but after a beat, he finally lifted his head. “Lettuce… I’m sad. Chicken… I’m mad. Mostly at myself,” he confessed.

“Why?” Wanda asked quietly.

“For never being brave enough to say anything,” He admitted to Wanda, hanging his head. “It’s just… we have something so good and I didn’t want to lose that. But sometimes…” he trailed off.

“Sometimes what?” Wanda pushed.

“It’s just,” Steve sighed. “Do you remember that time in the eighth grade when the three of us got in that huge fight?”

Wanda let out a dry laugh. “The one where you thought the two of us were dating behind your back because we went to a movie together?”

Steve grew a small but sad smile. “Not just any movie,” he clarified. “You watched The Hunger Games without me. It was my favorite book.”

Wanda nudged him playfully. “Steve, you had the flu,” she reminded him. “We wanted to take you but your mom said if she found out you snuck out and we got the flu from you she would stop making us that sponge cake we like. That would’ve been the end of our 14-year old lives.”

Steve let out a chuckle as he nodded at the memory. “I know,” he continued. “But for a week after that, I felt so left out. Like suddenly you were her best friend and she was yours, and I was the odd one out.”

“Is that why you ghosted us for a whole month?” Wanda asked, eyes wide with surprise as Steve nodded in shame.

“It was dumb, I know,” he cringed at the memories of that time. “But I think I was jealous. Of you.”

Wanda snorted a laugh at his comment. “Of me? Oh buddy,” she laughed as she pat Steve on the shoulder.

“I know, I know,” Steve ran his hand through his hair again. “But anyway, I think that’s kind of how I feel right now. Like she’s everything to me… but I’m not to her. And it’s not like she owes me anything… I think I just keep thinking, what could I have done differently?”

Wanda thought through her next words carefully, letting silence rest between the two of them. Well, silence was relative. The others were in the next room arguing about whether or not it was fair to let Peter choose to be Colonel Mustard when he doesn’t know how to play Clue.

“I can’t say I know what you’re feeling,” Wanda began. “But for me, I think that when I start focusing on things like that, my mind gets stormy. I stop seeing things clearly, and I start doubting myself and the way I fit into my friendships. But then you two always remind me that’s not real. What is real is that I would give everything for the two of you, and if I needed it, both of you would do the same for me. It’s one of the most stable truths of the universe.

At the same time, I also know that both of you would want me to be happy, and to choose what makes me happy. The same thing I would do for you. And I will always help you to figure out what that is when you can’t see it, like you do for me. When I remember that, the skies clear a little, and I see the sunshine again. I see you guys.”

Wanda turned to Steve, who wiped at a tear forming in the corner of his eye. She gave him a gentle pat on the back and turned to leave him to his own thoughts for a bit.

Honestly, she was a bit surprised at her own wisdom. She wasn’t usually the friend people came to for advice, but maybe they should start, she thought. She hoped her words got through to Steve, as seeing her best friend hurting was weighing heavily on her as well. She was, however, very excited to tell her pen pal about this situation.

After she made her way into the living room, Natasha moved to sit beside her on the couch, now turned to face the television. “Is he okay?” she asked, nodding towards the kitchen where Steve still stood by himself.

“Yeah, he’s just raiding the leftovers,” Wanda joked. She was lying, but she felt that Steve wouldn’t want to explain to everyone else what had him so emotional.

Natasha nodded, not fully believing her words, but accepting them nonetheless. “Do you wanna play the next round?” She asked instead.

“Nah,” Wanda pulled out her phone. “I have to work on my letter.”

“Oh to your pen pal right?” Natasha asked. “I can’t believe you’ve been writing to each other since middle school. Why don’t you just ask for his number?” She attempted to look over Wanda’s hands to see what she was writing down.

“Yeah, ask for his number and invite her to the winter formal,” Sam chimed in. “Unless he’s catfishing you.” The group laughed and Wanda laughed along.

“Yeah, yeah,” she rolled her eyes and continued typing in her note from earlier, updating her letter with the most recent events. However she didn’t get very far before she got a call from Bucky. “Bucky’s calling me?” She asked aloud in surprise.

“Answer him!” They all called in unison, as they looked away from the game to flock towards Wanda, even Steve, who walked in from the kitchen. Wanda looked over to him and he responded with a small smile and a nod, encouraging her to answer the phone.

“Wanda,” Bucky’s voice filled the room from Wanda’s phone speaker. “I need your help.” The group gathered around Wanda all looked at her with wide eyes as they tried to contain their curiosity. However it was Scott who couldn’t hide his gasp, even as Sam slapped his hand over his mouth.

“Hey guys,” Bucky sighed. “Sorry I couldn’t make it but I really need to borrow Wanda for a second.”

Wanda chuckled as she watched the group disperse with disappointed looks and resume playing their game. She walked back over to the kitchen, and Steve headed for the living room to give her privacy.

“What’s up Buck?” Wanda asked when she was finally alone.

“Uh,” Bucky sounded like he was thinking about what to say. “How do you feel about a road trip?”

Wanda couldn’t hide her surprise at the question. “Road trip?” She repeated.

“I can give you the details later,” Bucky said. “But just tell me you’ll come with me.”

“When?” Wanda questioned. “And why me?”

“Tonight. Right now even,” He sounded panicked and Wanda was beginning to feel the same. “I called you because Natasha already said no.” As if on cue, Natasha had popped her head into the kitchen and Wanda waved her over.

“Nat,” Wanda began. “Why the hell is Bucky asking me to go on a road trip with him right now?”

Natasha let out a chuckle. “Just hear the poor boy out,” she suggested as Wanda looked at her suspiciously.

“I need to pick up your friend’s dad,” Bucky explained. “Long story short, she was upset he couldn’t make it to the awards, so I reached out to him and basically now he agreed to be here for one night, and his flight is landing soon and the airport is over an hour away and I don’t want to drive alone, but I can’t bring her with me because it’s a surprise and –”

“Woah,” Wanda stopped his rambling with a chuckle. “Long story long, more like.” She looked back at Natasha who raised her eyebrow as if to say See now? Wanda nodded back to her as she let out a hum of thought before an idea popped in her head.

“I’ll come,” Wanda said with a mischievous smile that was hidden by her gentle voice. Bucky let out a sigh of relief, and Wanda could hear his shoulders relax. “But you have to come pick me up from Scott’s house, since I left my car at home.”

“Sure, yeah,” Bucky agreed desperately to her condition. “Thank you so much.”

Twenty minutes later, when the doorbell rang, Wanda almost felt guilty for what she was about to do. But when she thought about it some more, she reminded himself of what she told Bucky just earlier, and her conscience clears just in time for her to open the door to see a panicked Bucky, dressed in sweatpants, a hoodie, and mismatched socks.

Someone will thank me later, she thinks to herself as she pretends to double over in pain. “Wanda?” Bucky asked in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I ate someone’s leftovers,” she pretended to let out a grunt of pain. “And it’s really not agreeing with me,” she cursed under her breath. “I’m so sorry, but I don’t think I can come with you.” She apologized.

“No, no,” Bucky dismissed her. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” He walked in and shut the door, leading Wanda to sit down at the dining table as Natasha walked over with a medicine tablet and a glass of water.

“Here,” she handed them to Wanda. “Don’t worry Bucky, we’ll find someone to fill in.” Before Bucky could protest, Natasha had walked to the living room and came back with a confused and annoyed looking Steve.

“Steve said he’d be glad to go with you,” Natasha beamed. He very much did not look like he was glad to go with Bucky.

“Uh…” Steve began before Natasha nudged him from behind. “Yep, yeah, I’d be happy to… sit in a car with you for an hour and a half… to pick up my best friend’s dad…”

Bucky opened his mouth to argue, but after looking down to see the time, his eyes widened in worry. “Okay, perfect,” he said instead. “Let’s go before we’re late. Bye you guys, tell the guys I said hey.” and he grabbed Steve’s wrist and headed out the door.

Wanda and Natasha followed behind them, Wanda now forgetting about her act and leaning against the post on the front steps.

“Do you think they’ll hate us?” Wanda asked Natasha as they watched the two boys get into Bucky’s car from the front porch.

“Oh absolutely. For a month at least.”

#Bucky Barnes #Sebastian Stan #Bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan headcanon #sebastian stan x reader #James Buchanan Barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes smut

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hertzwritings · 2 years

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Animal I’ve become

A/N: I PASSED MY EXAM, BABYYY! Well, one of many. I am however, dealing with severe exam-fatigue and stress-burnout, so my stuff is coming out, but it takes a while, because I need a bunch of breaks in between. I promise, I’m getting back into the groove of it, but it’s a lot when I’m so damn tired all the time.

Also, also, I am a GIANT slut for Steve Rogers, and I’m not even sorry. I’m also not sorry that I have a thingTM for him as a DBF, because that trope does me in every time.

You can buy me a coffee here, and I’ll write you whatever you want!

I love y’all so much. Remember, feedback feeds the soul (min in particular) and my requests and askbox are always open – there’s no limits, because I am me and I have none. At all.

MASTERLIST

CHRIS EVANS MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairing: Dad’s best friend!Steve Rogers x female reader

Contains: Language, “we shouldn’t”-pining, age gap (Steve is around 40, reader is in her 20’s), Dad’s best friend-trope, mentions of alcohol, thigh riding, spitting, fingering, p in v sex, dirty talk, praise kink, unprotected sex, breeding kink, Dom!Steve (but in like a daddy!Dom way), slapping, cream pie and probably more

W.C.: 5.300 (whoops)

Animal I’ve become

He drew a deep breath and steadied himself before knocking on the door. He really shouldn’t be feeling like this.

In all honesty, he had tried his damnedest to avoid feeling anything towards Y/N, but it had gotten legitimately impossible over the last three years. She was his best friend’s daughter, very fucking off-limits, but… It was bad.

It wasn’t just any friend’s daughter, it was Bucky’s. Steve knew that Bucky would take several bullets for him – and likewise – and the idea of Steve thirsting after his daughter was all in all pretty bad. At first, he didn’t think much off her. She was, after all, still a kid in his eyes. A pretty one, yeah, sure, but she was young and innocent, and he saw her more and more – completely by happenstance, of course. He wasn’t being a weirdo, he just liked hanging out at Bucky’s place. Besides, they had always been close, and after Steve had introduced Bucky to Loes, it was kind of a given that Steve was just there.

Steve saw Y/N grow up, go through life and, of course, saw an array of boyfriends coming and going, and something in him stirred. Bucky, Tony and Sam were his guys, his team, and he had known Y/N since she was brought into the world, but now? Oh, he felt something about her – she was kind, sweet and he felt comfortable in her company. In a very normal, non-romantic, or sexual way, of course. It just kind of spiraled from there, really. They had a kind of jovial and carefree relationship, before they were sent out again. He didn’t think too much about it when she hugged him goodbye, but in some way the scent of her perfume stuck in his nose. Then the letters started on their last mission. Bucky got one, and then Steve got one. The slanted handwriting was unfamiliar to him, but Bucky lit up in a grin, the desert heat already made his nose redder than a tomato. “She sent you one, huh?” He asked, waving his own letter. Steve swallowed thickly. “She only sends those to the ones, she likes. Sam, the bastard, never gets one.” Bucky laughed, when Sam shouted from a little ways away. “I’m still her favorite.” Steve didn’t mind their conversation at all, too focused on her handwriting and the news she brought from home. She told him the results of the recent game (Steve, I wish I understood what’s so fun about watching grown men run around, carrying an elongated ball) and her recent problems with her history teacher (honestly, he’s a dick. I know more about WW2 than he does), and he responded pretty quickly after that. Then it just became a monthly thing and had been ever since. He kept all the letters in his bait-box. When he visited for thanksgiving, he almost fell to his ass, when she greeted him. She had grown up. In a way, that made every cell in his body scream for him to just fucking take her, damned the consequences. He willed himself to contain the thoughts about burying himself deeply inside of her, and ever since then, Steve had a mighty hard time controlling himself around her.

It didn’t help that he moved onto the same street as Bucky, Loes and Y/N, when a house was up for rent and Loes innocently said it would do Steve good to get out of the city. She wasn’t wrong, per se, but it didn’t do Steve any good moving closer to a very dangerous, off-limits and tabooed object of his desires.

When he - by complete accident – one late night saw Y/N fucking a lanky boy in a car with the windows slightly fogged up, he almost lost himself completely. The image of her bouncing on a cock, her eyes closed and her nipples pert, got him through many nights, and it made it hard for him to look her in the eyes.

And now, he was here, in front of their door on the way to Bucky’s birthday-party, that he insisted he held, despite hating birthdays (although Steve was sure it was Loes’ doing, because it meant baking for the boys, and that was always fun). And Y/N was going to be here.

Before he could do something stupid like turn around and go back home to sulk, the door opened to a smiling Y/N, and Steve had to remind himself that he was – theoretically – a good man, who would not do anything with Y/N, because she looked like a damn vision. She was wearing a dress, that made every single curve stand out. The white stood out against her skin and made him want to lick it, and she smelled like roses and summer. She was seriously dangerous. “Steve!” She hugged him, and he tensed for a brief moment, but didn’t have time to relax into the hug before she let go of him again. The scent of her shampoo clung to him. “Come on, they’re all in the yard. Don’t ask me why Uncle Tony and uncle Sam are wrestling, I don’t know.” He followed her and tried his hardest to look everywhere but her ass, which proved to be harder than he thought, when she dropped her phone and bent down to pick it up. That dress was dangerously short, and it would require nothing more than a gust of wind, to expose her fully. He bit back a groan. “Listen, I don’t know how long I’m staying…” He trailed off when she stilled, turned to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him inside the office – the door closest to them – and shut the door behind her. He swallowed thickly. “Steve, listen…” She sighed. “I don’t know what happened, but you’ve been off for a while. I feel like I’ve done something wrong, because you’re never here anymore and when you are, you leave so quickly.” She bit her lip. “Anyway, if it’s something I did, I’m sorry. Really. Don’t worry, I’m staying out of your way today, I’m on maid-duty.” She chuckled a little at that. “Oh, I, uhm…” How was he supposed to tell her that he saw her get railed hard in a car, by someone who clearly didn’t give her what she wanted, and the reason he wasn’t around, was because he was constantly imagining himself fucking her until she couldn’t see straight? “I, you didn’t really… You haven’t done anything wrong, Y/N. Honestly, I’ve just been in my head.” She nodded but didn’t look like she believe him at all. “Alright.” She sounded unconvinced, and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. “Well, then…” She opened the door and smiled at him. “Have fun.”

He loathed himself right now. Absolutely. He was barely paying attention to his friends, laughing and drinking – Sam had sent him a few strange looks, because Steve was normally a talkative guy, but at this moment, he couldn’t stop looking towards the house. It was a mess. The few glimpses of Y/N in the kitchen were sending jolts of energy through him, and even though he absolutely hated himself for it, his cock stirred with every new glimpse.

“Steve, what’s going on with you?” Sam asked, nudging his shoulder and handed him a fresh beer. “Not… Don’t worry about it, man, I’m doing good.” “Nah, Stevie has serious girl-troubles.” Steve almost choked on his beer and shot a pointed look towards Tony, who was grinning wildly at him. He had somehow managed to figure out that Steve was in turmoil, but not with who. “Oh, seriously? You’ve been out of the game since she who must not be named.” Sam piped up. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I’m not going to do anything about it, boys.” And he meant it. In his dreams, maybe, but he was not going to actually pursue her. “Why?” Bucky asked, settling down in the lawn chair next to him. Steve sighed. “She’s… She’s young.” “Oh?” Bucky leaned forward. “Young as in… Like thirty? Or young as in underage?” “Bro, Steve wouldn’t fuck around with a minor.” Sam whacked Bucky across the back of his head. “She’s mid-twenties.” He didn’t want to say more about it. “Well, that’s not half bad.” “Bad enough.” Steve took a gulp of his beer. Sam was getting glossy-eyed and spilled a little of his beer down his shirt. “I say… hick… Go for it.” Steve rolled his eyes. If only Bucky knew who Steve had his eyes on, because then he would not be telling him to go for it. He’d probably pull Steve’s arms off and stuff them up his ass. “Wait…” Sam’s eyes widened, and Steve’s heart almost fell out of his ass. Sam’s eyes shot from Steve to the window, where Y/N was visible through. “Sam, a word?” He spat out, praying to any God in existence that Sam could keep his damn, drunk mouth shut. He didn’t give Sam time to answer but pulled him to his feet and dragged him to a far-off corner of the yard.

“Dude.” Sam whispered. “Sam…” “You’re pining after Y/N?? The girl, you’ve known since she was a literal baby?” Sam spat. “I’m not…” “You’re sick. That’s sick. I’m going to be sick.” Sam frowned. “She used to call you uncle, dude.” “I know, Sam. Why do you think I’m staying away from her?” He groaned. “I’m trying my best here.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what happened, seriously, and I’m keeping myself in check.” “Bro…” Sam looked at him with a small frown. “You need to seriously reconsider your position here. Buck’s going to flay you.” “… If he finds out.” “Don’t do that. Don’t leave a window open.” Sam snapped. “Get yourself under control, find someone your own age.” “Trying, Sam.” Steve mumbled and looked to the Bucky and Tony, who were singing loudly along to Barbie Girl. Sam sighed and clapped Steve’s shoulder before leaving Steve to himself.

It took him a solid ten minutes to start moving towards the guys again, but he was stopped halfway there by a voice. “Steve!” Loes poked her head out of the kitchen window. “Steve, I need your help, please!” He walked the distance in a few strides and met Loes with a smile. “What’s up?” “You’re not drunk, are you?” “Slightly.” She cocked an eyebrow. “On a scale from me to Tony, how drunk are you?” Steve turned to look at Tony, who was currently trying to give a very disgruntled Sam a lap-dance to the wonderful sounds of Simple Man. Weird choice. “Okay, maybe more in your area.” “Great, can we borrow you for a few minutes?” She asked. “Sure.” He went inside and frowned slightly at the look in Loes eyes. She looked like she was brewing a plan, and that look never made him feel good. The last time she wore that look, he ended up in a corset, at a karaoke-bar and a blind date. “So… You know we’re trying to make Y/N’s old room into a library, right?” Yes…?” She looked up the stairs. “Well, we’ve hit a standstill. And you’re pretty strong…” “Oh no, am I building something? It’s Buck’s birthday.” “Not building, just holding. Please, I promised I’d bring out eclairs.” She pouted and he groaned. “Fine. I just...?” He pointed up the stairs and she nodded. “You’re golden. Thank you! Y/N is up there, it won’t take a long time, I promise.” “Yeah, yeah, the last time you said that I had to wait three hours for you and Bucky to leave the bedroom.” She just winked at him.

“Y/N, I’m…” He trailed off when he saw her. It was entirely unfair. She had swapped her dress for a pair of loose, short shorts and a tank top that hid absolutely nothing. “Oh, thank God. Can you come here?” When he could finally see anything but her body, he noticed her arms quivering under the wait of the bookshelf she was holding up. “I was trying to screw this hole, but it just won’t go in from this direction, and Lo had to help dad…” He swallowed thickly at her doubled words. “Uh… Yeah, I’m, uh… Where do you want me?” She shimmied a little, but couldn’t let go of the bookshelf, so he moved to stand behind her and prop the damn thing up, so she could reach whatever hole she needed. Her old bed was still in here, and the room was pretty much in disarray beyond that – boxes and things were littered around the room, and it looked like a bigger project than he had expected such a small room to be. “Alright, I got it.” He mumbled, trying not to focused too much on how close she was to him. “Thank you, okay, I just need…” and then she bent over, pushing her ass against his groin. Fuck. He did his best to contain it, but when she shuffled on her feet, it moved against him, and a groan slipped past him. “Sorry, did I hit you with the screwdriver?” She asked, looking back at him. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That was not what he needed to see right now. Lewd images ran across his brain and imprinted themselves. “No, I just… Please, for the love of God, finish this or stop moving so damn much.” And with that, his cock twitched against his jeans. He had a small hope that she didn’t notice, but she shot up and turned to face him. “Are you… Hard?” she whispered. Her eyes flickered down and back to his face. “Oh.” “Well… You were… And you’re wearing… Just, let’s get this done, please?” His face felt warm. “But… Why?” She asked innocently, but something in her eyes shined. It was this fucking magnetic pull, and they were both completely lost to it. She inched a little closer. “Don’t do this.” He pleaded. “Seriously, I’ve been having a hard enough time just being near you, I can’t fucking do this.” “Do what?” she bit her damned lip, and he lost control, pushing the bookshelf to stand and wrapped his arms around her waist in a single move, before lifting her from the ground and pushed her against the closed door. “Do you have any fucking idea, what you do to me? Watching those boys come in and out of your house, sometimes your window, knowing what you did?” She swallowed thickly and her legs wrapped around him. “Oh? What, Steve, you want to be the one coming in and out of my window at night?” She didn’t even question how he knew it. “I shouldn’t.” “That’s not an answer.” “Y/N, what the…” He gently put her down on the ground and backed away. Her scent was intoxicating, and it was hard thinking straight. “We can’t be doing this. You shouldn’t want to do this.” He said softly. “What if I do, huh?” She asked, stepping closer to him. “Maybe I want you.” “I’m double your age. I…” “If you’re going to say that you are old enough to be my dad, I’m going to smack you. That’s a cliché.” He rolled his eyes. “Cliché or not, it’s the truth.” “Have you considered the fact that I’m actually a legal adult?” She stepped closer again and he stepped back, his calves hitting her bed. “Listen, if my dad can find someone half his age, what’s the problem of me doing it the other way around?” “The problem is that Buck is like family. You’re family, okay? This is so wrong, I should go.” He sidestepped, but stopped dead in his tracks when she whined, and he turned to face her. “Please, don’t go, Steve…” She looked up at him through her eyelashes. “Don’t give me that fucking look.” “What look?” She asked, licking her lips. “Like you want to have my cock in your mouth.” “Maybe I do.” She whispered back, and he was going to hell, because he could not stop looking at the goddamned strap on her shoulder, that was slowly inching down her shoulder. “Baby, you need to stop right now.” “Why?” His eyes moved to her face, and his willpower was fading quickly. “Because if you don’t, I don’t know what I’ll do.” She quirked an eyebrow at him and smirked. “I’d prefer your worst.” Well, then.

He was on her in seconds, his fingers wrapping around the strap of her top; her lips were so fucking close, so close, that he could practically taste them. “Baby girl, you don’t know what you’re asking.” “I think I do.” Her fingers drew lines on his arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “Yeah? What are you asking?” He was treading dangerous waters, and he knew it. If Bucky found out, he was a dead man. “I’m asking you to fuck me, Steve.” She was looking into his eyes without abandon. Well, if he was going to hell, he might as well have fun on the way.

His lips found hers and it was electrifying. She moaned against his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, her body practically melting into him. His fingers were burning imprints into her skin, where the tank top had risen a little, and the feeling of her skin against him, almost made him lose control completely.

It wasn’t until her hand moved between their bodies, inching down to his hard cock, straining against his jeans, that he realized what he was doing. He pulled away with a choked gasp, as if it caused him physical pain to do – which, to be fair, it almost did – and held her at arm’s length, panting. Her eyes were darkened and hooded with lust. “What, Steve?” “I… We can’t be doing this. We shouldn’t, I… I, uh, fuck… I should go.” He gulped. “Please, I’ve wanted this for so fucking long, Steve… You think I haven’t seen the way you look at me?” She asked, wiping her bottom lip with her thumb. “We can’t, Y/N. I… This is so fucking wrong, you have no idea.” “I have a very clear idea, actually. You’re not the only one with shit on the line here.” “Y/N…” She slowly moved closer to him, and he didn’t have the willpower to draw back again. “Steve… Tell me right now that you haven’t thought about it.” She stepped close enough for their chests to touch and her fingers found some of the hair in the nape of his neck, tugging it slightly. “Don’t think I don’t know that you’ve been keeping tabs on me. I know you saw me that night with Adam in the car, didn’t you?” He swallowed thickly. “Did you go home and think of me? Think of filling my tight, little pussy with your cock?” She whispered. He was uncomfortably hard. “Taking me and showing me how a real man feels?” He nodded. “I’ve watched you too, you know. Whenever you had dates over… I’ve heard them scream your name and walk out on shaky legs.” She swallowed thickly. “So…. Tell me right now, that you don’t want me, that you’ve never wanted me, and I’ll stop.” “I can’t.” “Then stop thinking and do it.” Her lips found his again, and he lost it. There wasn’t any way on this earth, that he’d be able to run back from her, turn from this. “Fuck, we gotta be quiet and fast, got it?” He mumbled, lifting her, and pushing her onto the bed. “Yeah.” She was not really here to talk but busied herself pulling her clothes off. “Fucking hell, Y/N…” He practically moaned as she stripped, throwing her clothes to the floor. “Why are you still dressed?” She asked, now fully naked. He couldn’t think – her body was everything, all he could see and think about. Her body was perfection to him. He snapped out of it when she chuckled a little, and he stripped down faster than anything he had ever done, his cock bouncing slightly when his boxers fell. She licked her lips and her eyes zeroed in on his hard, throbbing cock. “Steve, get over here right now.” “Little girl, don’t start bossing me around now.” He said with a smirk, watching her chest heaving. She whimpered when he slowly crawled on top of her, spreading her legs with his knee. “You’re going to behave, aren’t you? Be a good girl for me?” Where the confidence came from, he didn’t know, but the way she reacted was more than enough for him to keep going. She whined and rolled her hips, her fingers grabbing a tight hold on the back of his neck. “Kiss me.” She tried pulling him to her lips, but he tutted. “Ask nicely, baby.” He let his fingers wander to her inner thigh, dragging against them with slight pressure; it was enough for her to gasp, and he inched higher, chuckling darkly when he reached her core. “Oh, baby, so wet already, huh?” He hissed when his fingers made contact with her soaking folds. “So wet for me, aren’t you? Want me in you, baby?” he asked as his fingers slowly sunk into her; he was a knuckle deep with two fingers, and she was already squirming around him, her breathing shallow and small whimpers falling from her lips. “Please… Oh my God, please, I’m… Fuck!” He chuckled again, slowly moving in and out of her. “What do you want, baby?” he asked. He knew he was torturing her, and he was probably dragging this out for way too long, considering where they were, but it was so fucking good to feel her like this. “Just… Fuck me!” She whimpered again and he felt her tighten around his fingers. “Baby, I need to warm you up first, I can’t…” She moaned when his fingers twisted. “I don’t care, just take me, please!” “Baby…” She whimpered again and it was truly the most beautiful sound he ever heard. “Fuck, okay… Hold your hand out.” She looked at him questioningly and he removed his fingers and slapped her across the face. The sound that came from her would in normal circumstances be enough to make him cum right then and there. “Yes, sir.” She whispered, when she found her voice, and held her hand out, palm up, to him. He spat into it, and she shuddered in pleasure as it hit her palm. He would store that for later. “Grab my cock, baby girl. Stroke me nice and slow for a minute.” She nodded and he shuffled around, so he was on his back with her straddling his thighs, her soaking pussy hitting the skin – she moaned and rolled her hips, pressing down against his thigh as her wet palm connected with his throbbing cock, holding it tightly and began to stroke it, while she grinded against his thigh. “Oh, my baby likes to ride my thigh, huh? Want to… Fuck…” She tightened her grip and began to twist her hand slowly, as she moved her small hand up and down. “Want to cum on my thigh, baby?” He grunted and tensed his leg, eliciting a moan from her. “Oh my God, yes… Fuck, you’re so big, holy shit…” she moved faster, her hips snapping to relieve some of the ache, soaking his leg with her wetness, pumping his cock as fast as she could. She moaned and her hips stuttered in their movements for a breath, before she gasped and ground down hard, stopping her movements with her hand. She was shaking, and he grabbed her hips, guiding her back and forth on his thigh to let her ride it out. She was moaning loudly, and he removed his right hand from her hip to clasp it over her mouth. “Stay fucking quiet, or I’ll stuff your mouth so full, you won’t be talking for days.” He threatened and felt her lips turn up in a smile. “Oh, you’re a fucking slut, baby.” His grip on her tightened and removed his hand from her lips slowly, grabbing her hips again and slowly guided her to his hard cock – it was leaking precum and the thought of pumping her full, fucking breeding her, make everyone see who she belonged to, flashed before him and it broke him. With a roar, he flipped them and lined himself up with her dripping pussy, stopping right before he entered her completely. “You sure about this? If we do this, there’s no going back.” She rolled her eyes, that fucking brat, and smirked up at him. “Baby, if you don’t get inside me, I’ll scream so loud, my dad…” She cut off with a loud moan when he entered her in one fell, thrust.

It was fucking heaven to be inside of her. She was so tight and wet, he was close to shooting his load right then and there, and he had to contain himself from just fucking her so hard, she wouldn’t be able to use her legs. “Steve…” She moaned his name like a fucking prayer. “I’m not going to break. Just fuck me.” He didn’t need to be told twice.

He pulled out, almost all the way, before snapping his hips and burying himself deeply inside of her. She screamed, but he slapped a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet and began fucking her relentlessly. If he thought it felt good to be inside of her with his fingers, this was heaven. She was tight, wet, and warm, and his cock dragged against her walls perfectly – her body shivered, and she clenched slightly around him as he sped up his movements and she moaned behind his hand. “Fuck, you feel so good around me, baby… You’re taking me so well, aren’t you?” She nodded furiously and wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him deeper. “I’ve wanted to be buried in you for years, Y/N… Fuck…” He moaned as well and bit down on his bottom lip to keep himself from getting too loud. He felt her twitch and clench around his cock, and he grinned down at her. “Oh, is my good, little slut going to cum, huh? You think you can keep quiet, baby? I need you to… shit… Fuck, I need to feel you cum around me, make a mess out of me, baby…” She moaned behind his hand again, and despite his better judgement, he removed the hand, holding her hips and angling himself deeper. She whimpered and a string of moans mixed with his name fell from her lips before her head lolled back and her jaw went slack. He spat in her mouth, and she whined in pleasure and came so fucking hard, he could practically feel her vibrating. “Atta girl…” He mumbled and kissed, licked, and bit down on her exposed neck. She was clenching him so hard, he could barely move, and he felt her gush wetness around him. “Fuck, that’s so hot… Shit, look at you, baby… Look at how well you’re taking me…” He grunted and let her ride it out, before he stilled and flipped them over, so she was straddling him – her nails dug into his chest, leaving indents from her nails on his skin. “Take what you want, Y/N.” She opened her eyes and looked down at him, before she leaned forwards and kissed him deeply, slowly beginning to move her hips; she was moving in circles for a little bit, and then began bouncing on his cock – it felt entirely too good like this. “Shit, baby…” He moaned. “You’re going to make me cum like this…” Her hips stuttered for a moment, before she sped up and he let his hands rest on her hips. “Is that what you want? Want me to fill you… Pump you full of my cum, breed you?” She cursed and moaned, and he began to furiously move her hips – she barely weighed anything to him, and he easily moved her up and down his cock, chasing his high as her pussy clenched around him, drawing him deeper and deeper into her. “Let the world see who you belong to?” He mumbled, freeing a hand to play with her nipples. She moaned loudly and wetness gushed around him, the sounds of her wet folds meeting his skin filling them room and his ears; it was the single most amazing sound, he had ever heard. “Yes… St-Steve, yes! Fucking…” She moaned. “Use me… U-use me like your litt… Little fuckdoll… Please, fill me… I want you to f-fill me, please…” She mumbled and he felt her clench again. He should care if she was on birth control, he should care that he was fucking his best friend’s daughter in their house, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Good girl, cum with me…” He mumbled and placed his feet firmly on the mattress to gain more leverage. He was close too, and when he sped up, holding her firmly in place with his hands, she screamed soundlessly and came wildly around him; her pussy clenched him and held him deeply, milking him for all he had. He came with a roar, pumping rope after rope of his hot cum inside of her, painting her walls white. He could feel it drip out along the side of his cock and he almost came again just by the thought of it. “Fuck, baby…” He finally spoke after a few minutes. She had folded over him, her face resting against his shoulder, her perked nipples brushing his naked chest every time she breathed. “Fuck indeed.” She whispered. He gently moved her off of him – they both hissed when he slipped out of her – and laid her down next to him, holding her tightly. “Steve…” She mumbled his name while her fingers drew circles on his chest. “I meant it. I’ve wanted this for a while.” “I know, baby. You didn’t think you were a good enough actor as a teen to hide your crush on me, did you?” He felt her cheeks heat up. “I knew, honey.” “So… What now?” She asked. “Now?” He kissed her forehead. “Now, I get dressed, I go say goodbye to your drunk father and your sweetheart of a stepmother, and leave.” “But…” He shushed her when she began protesting. “Let me finish.” He chuckled. “Then I’ll drive around the corner and wait. You’re going to say goodbye to your family and kiss them on the cheek with that filthy mouth of yours, and then you’ll come to meet me.” He lifted her face by her chin. She whimpered a little. “And you’re going to be a good girl for me, get on the back of my motorcycle and come home with me.” “Oh, am I?” “Yes, you are. You’re going to let me eat you out until you can’t fucking speak, and then I want to see what your mouth can do.” He kissed her lazily. “And then… I want to use you until the sun comes up, mark you up. Make sure nobody tries anything with my girl.” “What about my dad?” He sighed. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?” She nodded. “Besides, I have a sneaky suspicion that Loes might already know. She gave me the Look.” “Oh… Yeah, no, she knows then.” He laughed and get up to get dressed.

When he was fully dressed, he leaned back down over her and kissed her deeply. “I’m expecting you on the corner of the street in exactly 20 minutes, got it?” She grinned. “Got it, captain.”

TAGLIST: @acaceta @a-skov @angelmather1 @cooldreamlandsandwich @doubletriplepowerbomb @est1887 @enchantedbytomandhenry @fionnthebandersnacc @herroyalbubbliness @jeepgirls-stuff @keiva1000 @kebabgirl67 @littlebirdofrivia @luclittlepond @mis-lil-red @multifanficdom @one-sweet-gubler @pandaxnienke @perfunctory-username69 @penneferofvenerburg @sleutherclaw @sofiebstar @summersong69 @spookyboogyuniverse @stardusted26 @thereisa8ella @timetraveller4 @thatonechickhere @themanfromu @thelastpyle @tragicphoenix13 @yourlocalhoney @wheretheriversrunintothesea @severewobblerlightdragon @leigh70

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beaft · 2 years

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recommend some horror?

aha!! i am glad you asked (no really, i am, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be loud about my favourite genre). here is a non-exhaustive list of some of my personal favourites:

books

-the ballad of black tom by victor lavalle (retelling of lovecraft's "the horror at red hook" by a black author, i could talk about this one for hours suffice to say it's Very Good)

-pet semetary by stephen king (i have a love/hate relationship with mr king but i think this is one of his better books)

-the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson (actually, just about anything by shirley jackson, my personal favourite book by her is "we have always lived in the castle")

-beloved by toni morrison (it's not exactly horror, but i have to put it here anyway because it's too good not to)

-things we say in the dark by kirsty logan

-tell me i’m worthless by alison rumfitt

-house of leaves by mark z. danielewski (i detest this book. yes it's still one of my top favourites and no i will not be taking questions at this time.)

-my heart is a chainsaw by stephen graham jones

-literally anything by robert aickman

movies

-pan’s labyrinth (historical fantasy-horror, visually stunning, one of my favourite movies of all time)

-lake mungo (australian found footage horror about ghosts and grief)

-the texas chain saw massacre (not as gory as the title might suggest)

-the wicker man (the original version, unless you’re in the mood to see nicolas cage at his nicolas cagiest)

-jacob’s ladder (beautiful, eerie, hallucinogenic, you will not know what’s going on for most of it and that’s honestly kind of the point)

-carrie (the sissy spacek version NOT the one with chloe moretz)

-the ritual (it's not a perfect movie but the creature design is WONDERFUL)

-alien (grr! i'm gonna getcha! i'm the alien! and so on)

-nosferatu (both versions are excellent, but i am particularly partial to the 1979 one with klaus kinski as the vampire)

-whistle and i’ll come to you (unsettling short film based on an m. r. james story)

-hereditary (this one's best if you go in blind, but i realise that’s probably difficult since a lot of it has been memed to hell and back)

-the thing (sci-fi thriller/body horror movie set on an isolated arctic research base)

-don't look now (based on a daphne du maurier short story; light on the horror but heavy on the uncanny)

-cabin in the woods (comedy-horror) okay this one is kind of a guilty pleasure for me but it does have some clever moments and it’s genuinely very fun to watch

-silent hill 2006 (another guilty pleasure, it is very much not a good movie but also i've seen it like 7 times, so.)

-ginger snaps (the close relationship between a pair of misfit sisters is tested when one of them starts going through puberty, and also incidentally becomes a werewolf. similar vibes to jennifer's body although i personally prefer this one)

-penda’s fen (startlingly ahead of its time – it’s basically a coming-of-age story about a gay teenager in rural england with a tasty slice of religious/folk horror)

-crimson peak (love letter to the "gothic melodrama" genre)

-us (i personally preferred it to get out, but they’re both amazing; i haven’t seen NOPE yet but i hope to soon!)

tv shows

-castlevania (based on the video game, vampires + religious horror, gorgeously animated, unexpectedly funny)

-the terror (true-ish story of a doomed voyage to the north-west passage) (the demon bear may or may not be historically factual) (we just don't know)

-twin peaks (idk if it counts as horror but i’m putting it here anyway. it’s not for everyone but it occupies a special place in my heart)

-in the flesh (again, not quite horror, but there are horror elements, and i am putting it here because it’s both a pleasingly original take on the zombie-apocalypse genre and a beautiful queer love story. it got cancelled halfway through its run and i will never stop being salty about it.)

-the enfield haunting (three-part tv drama) (much better than the james wan movie) (not that that’s hard)

podcasts

-the magnus archives (do not ask me about this show unless you're prepared to hear me yell about it for Ever and Ever and Ever)

-alice isn't dead (lesbian trucker searches for her missing wife amidst various spooky happenings)

-a scottish podcast (washed-up radio DJ decides to become a phony paranormal investigator to make some extra cash, but his scheme goes awry when he stumbles on a genuine paranormal event)

-i am in eskew (man attempts to leave city, is unsuccessful)

message me if you want trigger warnings or a more detailed description for any of these!

#horror tag #replies #recommendations

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anhed-nia · 6 months

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BLOGTOBER 10/13-14/2023: THIRTEEN WOMEN, SVENGALI

I really loved this. I wonder what the book is like, I might have to read it! Author Tiffany Thayer sounds like a pretty interesting guy as per this collection of provocative reviews on Wikipedia:

I don't know about you, but that makes me want to read everything he wrote. THIRTEEN WOMEN concerns a circle of grownup sorority sisters who are beset by an anomalous series of murders and suicides. It so happens that all of the women recently received damning horoscopes in the mail from a self-styled New York Swami--but the Swami himself is just a pawn in a greater conspiracy masterminded by Ursula Georgi (Myrna Loy). The master hypnotist has a bone to pick with these smug society ladies, which I am about to spoil so plug your ears if you'd rather watch the movie first (and you should! It's only an hour long): As a half-Javanese girl "saved" by a missionary who sent her to a western finishing school, Ursula believed the key to her future was to pass for white. Therefore, she's vowed revenge on the racist sorority that rejected her in college, and honestly the revenge she has plotted should have earned her an honorary PhD. It's hard to imagine that either a 1930 novel or a 1932 movie really mean to say "fuck racism" so frankly, but the sharp premise and Myrna Loy's incredible charisma make it hard not to side with the ostensible villain in this picture.

Some people have remarked that THIRTEEN WOMEN is an early iteration of the slasher movie, with its female ensemble (of sorority babes no less) being picked off one by one. To me it was more reminiscent of the cursed media motif familiar to J-horror. Maybe I'm just saying this because I rewatched RINGU this Blogtober and I was encouraged by the documentarians behind THE J-HORROR VIRUS to consider its influence on SMILE, which I also rewatched, and which I'm realizing I love. The victims in THIRTEEN WOMEN have signed a round robin chain letter, for which they each receive a star chart describing their imminent doom; the power of suggestion takes the place of power tools here, with Ursula's sheer force of will acting as a free-floating contagion that rots the guilty and weak from the inside out. I was reminded of movies like RINGU and JU-ON as much as of Jorg Buttgereit's DER TODESKING, an experimental horror film about a chain letter that causes its recipients to self-destruct. It's fun to think that THIRTEEN WOMEN is a progenitor of movies like BLACK CHRISTMAS, but I see reflections of it elsewhere, too.

I wound up pairing this with SVENGALI just because they're both hypnosis movies, but that movie turned out to have its own racial tensions. In George du Maurier's foundational 1894 novel Trilby, the evil hypnotist is explicitly Jewish; in Archie Mayo's 1931 adaptation, Svengali is referred to abstractly as "Polish or something", which seems to be a euphemism for a Semitic Eastern European identity. This might not invite such analysis if it weren't for the styling of John Barrymore as a swarthy, rodent-like embodiment of greed. When I say that, it sounds pretty negative, but I'd still insist that SVENGALI is a great movie well worth seeing for its perverse humor, surprising grimness, expressionistic design (courtesy Anton Grot), and unusual horror elements--in addition to Barrymore's unforgettable performance.

I guess there has been some debate over whether SVENGALI is properly a horror movie, and I refer you to author Tony Burgess who once said that if you have to argue about whether or not something is a horror movie, then it's probably a horror movie. The only causes to argue are if you insist on an extremely narrow definition of horror to guide your personal consumer habits, or if you're squeamish about admitting that you've ever enjoyed or respected anything that falls under the horror umbrella (and I tend to think the latter case is more prevalent). Admittedly, SVENGALI blends comedy, romance, and musical elements such that the viewer is never quite sure how dark things will get until the very end, but I think that anyone should be able to see the horror in the incredible sequence of the eponymous villain sending his disembodied consciousness through the CALIGARI-like city to possess the unwitting Trilby (played by Marian Marsh who must have been the most adorable person alive at the time). A few different visual effects are used to evoke Svengali's power, some of which are still modern-looking and scary, and the film's breezy humor and charm do not promise any particular safety.

On some level, the aura of antisemitism and xenophobia itself lets us know we're in horrific territory. This is the genre of fears, rational and irrational, where we face whatever society perceives as threatening. Today we're in the midst of a lot of arguments about whether or not "separating the art from the artist" is ever appropriate, with full cancellation of the art AND artist positioned as the only alternative, but both of these options suggest that we must never have to face immorality, ambiguity, or ambivalence in art at all; we're forced to either avoid it or ignore it. This denies us the opportunity to understand what these darker emotions consist of, and understanding is the only way to defang them. Personally, I don't think it's any more helpful to condemn e.g. Dracula or the Wicked Witch of the West for their bigoted elements, than it is to simply pretend those things aren't there at all. SVENGALI provides us with a similar opportunity to confront antisocial phobias, with its troublingly caricaturesque villain and the unavoidable fascination one feels when his hypnotic gaze projects itself at us from the screen. Recommended viewing.

#blogtober #2023 #horror #thriller #slasher #adaptation #racism #thirteen women #george archainbaud #tiffany thayer #myrna loy #svengali #trilby #george du maurier #archie mayo #john barrymore #marian marsh #pre-code #anton grot

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djservo · 2 months

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january lasted 100 days and nights and now february has practically flown by BUT i returned to hallowed ground (tumblr) to get your reading recap! did you make room for any romance reads what happened i’m all ears

surprisingly not really any romance specific reads though I think love was sort of the implicit/explicit thread stringing these all together so in a way it was still kinda fitting!! I did watch Touch of Pink (2004) on Valentine's Day which was a silly + sweet (if not slightly troubling) time!!

Since I Laid My Burden Down by Brontez Purnell

if I disembody my adoration for Brontez as a person and try to see this as just any other work of fiction, I could see the kinda jumpy/non-linear structure and casualty not working for me, but because it's Brontez and because I've adore him for years, it's impossible for me not to read this in his voice and demeanor specifically + thus get such a kick out of this!! in fact I'd say the casualty and rough edges are such a big component to its charm + narrative voice. reflective in such a real + funny way without pretension, and I think really indicative of his roots in zines and peak early internet blogging era (at least from my first introduction to him)

Punks by John Keene

poetry! really great when it was good but kinda cliche when it was weak which was disappointing. I'm not a big fan of repetition poetry (? not sure if there's a specific term for it) and there was just one too many in this collection for me to take seriously. could've cut down on a few poems which I feel like I've never thought about any poetry collection before so maybe that's actually a testament to Keene's generosity on not skimping on page count lolol. still I appreciate the good parts for what they are - love letters and testaments to simply existing as a gay man during a time of so much death and strife, proof of life as impossible as it seems to confront sometimes

I Love Myself When I Am Laughing... And Then Again When I Am Looking Mean And Impressive: A Zora Neale Hurston Reader edited by Alice Walker

admittedly added to my tbr way back mostly bc of the name alone (which may just be the greatest book title ever) and somehow didn't realize this was a reader/anthology? I knew it included her famous 'What White Publishers Won't Print' essay so I just assumed it was just a collection of essays ANYWAY. I wondered if I would've appreciated this more had I already read the entirety of the works featured (aside from Their Eyes Were Watching God, the only one I've read) or if this was actually an ideal way to get a better sense of Hurston's variety of writing. I'm leaning towards the latter since I really enjoyed just about every piece and genre - folklore and memoir and fiction - and getting to witness the similarities in how she writes each form and also the background context of her life/controversies added so much to the experience. simply love a woman with capital "A" Audacity and it's so clear from the intro alone (amazingly done by Mary Helen Washington) that there was no end to it!! inspiring!!! I also adored the afterword of Alice Walker's journey in trying to weave together Hurston's legacy with varying accounts + recollections of her life while trying to find Hurston's unmarked grave, which honestly could've been its own book bc it was that engrossing. loved this

Sula by Toni Morrison

buddy read this with one of my best gal friends which I think is the best way to read this ugh so damn good I barely have the words. The Bluest Eye floored me and set such a high expectation that Sula somehow surpassed and now I'm finishing up Song of Solomon which has been soooo ??#$?!!? IDK how Toni does it each time, not even just consistently amazing but somehow sharper than before. and with a vengeance!! I love stories about how friendships shift overtime with differing life outlooks n values to the point where you're wondering how you were even friends in the first place, and to create such a rich and complex net of characters and histories in less than 200 pages? just unbelievable. highly highly recommend this one

#idk what im doing with the book cover pics but whatevz #asks #reads #devitalise

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terresdebrume · 2 months

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Fic writer interview

Merci pour le tag, @almost-a-class-act ! :D

How many works do you have on AO3?

372 :D

Most are fics, but I do have a little under 30 fic covers hanging around there 😊

What's your total AO3 word count?

988 968 words! My goal this year is to crack the million xD

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Fun fact, this top has not changed in years and my more recent writing habits mean it's unlikely to ever change at this point xD

S.O.S. Ecrits Avec De L’Air (aka SEADLA) an unfinished Tony Stark/Loki fic in which everything starts because Loki stops Tony from commiting suicide.

We Shall Have Peace, a fic in which Steve Rogers comes out of an 80+ years long captivity to discover Loki turned the earth into a utopia.

Dots: 2-4, 1-2-3, 1-3-6. A fic in which Tony Stark is a university student, and Loki is his blind teacher, and they fall in love.

Wooer Wooed. A fic in which Tony Stark tries to teach Loki how to woo someone and ends up surprised by the results.

Corny Lines For Thanksgiving A fic in which Tony Stark sees Loki iand Thor interact from his office window and mistakes them for a couple.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I like showing my appreciation and it feels more polite :D

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Say it three times and it will be done, in which Loki sends Tony Stark a very sad letter to tell him he's giving up on him and their not-relationship.

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh shit, I've written so many of these xD But I guess I'll go with a top 3:

Clark Kent, of Krypton because it's one of the ones where the protagonist's situation changes the most drastically.

Once more, with kissing because the protag ends in what would probably be my dream configuration for any kind of romantic relationship.

All on my own because it's probably one of the more hopeful endings I have.

Honorable mention to A summer evening in Philly. for being the most recent :P

Do you write crossovers?

Rarely. I did write a Battlestar Galactica x The Walking Dead crossover once for a friend, but that's about it. When I mix fandom, I gravitate more towards fusions :P

The fic is called Killing zombies (and other fun activities), if you're curious.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I think I got maybe...three angry comments on AO3 so far? One was pissed because the protag hated his stepmother, another was angry that I'd posted negative meta on a ship, and iirc the last one accused me of making a character stupid because they didn't understand a word as a little kid who was communicating in a language that wasn't his first language.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I try my hand at it on occasion x) It's probably not the greatest but so far no one told me it sucked so we'll see how it goes in the future xD

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

If I rememeber correctly there were projects of translation into Chinese and Russian for some of my fics, but I can't recall if they were completed or not xD

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I toyed at the idea but it fizzled out, mostly because of me.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I honestly have never thought of it that way tbh xD

But my two oldest ships are Taichi/Yamato from Digimon Adventure and Hyoga/Shun from Saint Seiya. I've liked those since I was a kid. As in, I first discovered Hyoga/Shun when I was under 10 so.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I'm not going to answer that one, I don't want to jinx it xD

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dialogue and worldbuilding.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle a little more with description, and also The Doing Of The Sex. Also I sometimes worry that I do the writing equivalent of same-facing my characters, but I guess it might also be because I have A Type.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

More often than not, saying "[x] said in German" or "[x] switched to Italian" is more than enough. It's clear, concise and avoids the two main risks of foreign dialogues: losing the readers who don't understand the target language and (if you're not fluent yourself) making a grammar mistake that takes readers who are more fluent than you out of the story. (Example: I've recently stumbled across a Band of Brothers fic where Liebgott used Sie to address Webster. Sie is a formal form of address, which I guarantee Lieb wouldn't use for his fellow soldiers, especially not Web, and so seeing it made be tick hard even if I didn't spontaneously understand the rest of the sentence.)

That being said! All rules are made to be broken, and I've written a fic that was intentionally in 3 different languages and another where a significant chunk of the dialogue is just em dashes with footnotes. In the first case, I used the script format and the language juxtaposition to mimick the sort of humor you'd get from a more fast-pace, visual medium like a movie or show (and also because I enjoyed the idea of a fic that was a bit of an in-joke with readers who mostly understood all three languages).

In the second case, I used the em-dashes (intersped with the few words the POV character understands) to force the reader into the protagonist' shoes, because the whole plot revolves around her distress and frustration about being unable to understand the language her family speak.

So, you know. Do what you want x)

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was a very, very intense plagiaristic fic for Lord of the Rings but with Harry Potter style wizards. I don't think it was very good, but I rememeber having fun with it.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

For a long time, that fandom was Digimon Adventure but I've done it now so... non, for now, I think x)

What's your favorite fic you've written?

... I'm gonna cheat and link you to my AO3 porfolio for my top 11 :P

Tagging : @takingoffmyshoes, @kyttwrites, @nemainofthewater, @ghostinthelibrarywrites, @liesmyth and @talysalankil :)

#Matt writes #Assbox Games

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loveandthings11 · 9 months

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How Deep My Love Goes, Chapter 11

Read on AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10

Fic Summary: A Kenrava-focused fix-it alongside canon 💗

Nobody Stays Missing

Two minutes after Kendall has taken his first steps out the door and toward Logan to deliver the letter, Rava sits down and turns her attention to her case for as long as she can before everything blows up. She taps her pen against her laptop keyboard and glances back and forth from her scribbled notes to her typed ones, trying in vain to find the missing piece of her case- written evidence from the company of the years of stolen wages. She looks over her client Tony Trume’s latest distressed email, concerned about his coworker friend and wondering if he’s in danger himself.

She drops her face into her hands for a moment, wishing she knew an expert in international corporate law. She briefly thinks of Gerri and hesitates. The questions alone would sound like an accusation of having been on the wrong side of cases like this before, and Kendall is about to be at war with Waystar. Rava looks at her phone and thinks maybe she could just ask a quick hypothetical, one lawyer to another. Gerri doesn’t know what’s happening with Kendall yet, she’d still pick up the phone- for the next five minutes. She takes a breath and presses her name. Gerri answers on the first ring.

“Gerri Kellman.”

“Gerri, hi. It’s Rava.” She can practically hear Gerri’s eyebrows go up.

“Rava? Um, hi, how are you? Enjoying the festivities?”

“Oh, yeah. You know, the Roy joys.” She sounds forced and she knows it.

“Uh-huh.”

“Well,” Rava continues, “I actually have a hypothetical for you- having nothing to do with Waystar, just a case thing. Can I run something by you? I’m no expert in corporate law.”

“Oh. Sure, go ahead,” Gerri answers with slight confusion. Rava wonders how much time she has before Kendall gets to Logan’s room with the letter. While Rava details the situation, Gerri stays quiet.

“So, that’s it,” Rava finishes. “Stolen wages for years, a whistleblower who went missing, and a new whistleblower who is terrified that the same thing is going to happen to him. If a situation like that were to occur, what would be the best way to proceed, do you think? I’m, uh… a little lost, but you know this stuff.” Rava smiles into that last part, an effort to curry favor with a woman she knows gets too little credit. Gerri takes a moment.

“Honestly? If I were the attorney on this, well, I wouldn’t be. This kind of thing tends to be bad for everyone except the company you’re after. Look out for yourself here. Nobody will be kind to your reputation if you lose this, and I’m sorry to say it, but you will probably lose this.”

Rava feels a bit of the chill she’d feared. Gerri probably ate cases like this for lunch twenty years ago. She blinks and considers for a moment. She knows she probably only has seconds left before Gerri finds out what Kendall’s done. She can almost hear his footsteps.

“Are you saying that because you’re general counsel for an international company, or because you believe it?”

Gerri sighs and Rava hears a phone vibration on the other end.

“Both.” She pauses. “Fuck. Look, I’m sorry, I think you know what I have to go deal with-“

“Right, yeah. I appreciate you hearing me out.”

“Sure. Bye, Rava.”

The end of the call sounds final. They’re on opposite sides now. Regret starts to creep up as Rava wonders if hearing that was worth the risk of letting someone else in on her case. She looks at her phone and decides to calm down by taking a look at the photos of the wedding party from just an hour before. She’d asked the photographer to take a couple of shots on her phone of just her and Kendall. She’d run up just in the nick of time and slipped in next to him. He’d smiled and whispered, “Thank God, Shiv just asked if I was hallucinating you coming here.” The camera had caught him whispering in her ear and her laughing. She hopes this bear hug works so Logan can officially be out of the way and she can see Kendall’s smile all the time. It warms her chest even to think about how happy he’ll be when he’s finally in charge.

……………..

“That was really hard.” Kendall stares into the void as the image of Logan’s eyes floats in his head. Filled with anger, shock, disapproval… pride? That’s probably too hopeful. Stewy pats his knee.

“I know. You did it, man. Hey.” Kendall glances up at him. “You fuckin’ did it.” He nods. He can’t remember how to smile right now.

“I fucked my sister’s wedding.”

Stewy rolls his eyes but keeps his tone gentle.

“Well, I’m sure you won’t fuck the next one. Now you’ve learned who to trust. Me. Not Frank. Maybe not Ro-Ro, as much as it hurts.” Kendall looks down.

“You literally told me not to trust you,” he mutters. Stewy chooses not to hear that and Kendall continues. “But, yeah, it’s not our fault Roman didn’t answer the phone. I had to act or the whole thing would’ve fallen apart. I know he wasn’t expecting it to happen today, obviously- uh, well, none of us were.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Ken, by the way.” Kendall ignores him.

“And we don’t even know if he ignored the call on purpose,” Kendall continues. “Maybe he did hear about the press leak and he thought he could change teams at the last minute. Just detach himself and run right back to Dad?” Kendall presses his lips together in stress and slumps forward while he worries.

“You didn’t ask your Dad if Roman had come to him?” Stewy inquires before realizing Kendall could probably barely make himself say the part he planned. “Okay- no, I get it, that was enough for you.” He switches to an easy vibe to keep them both calm. “Honestly, Roman was probably too busy getting fucked up to answer, he’s sick of this shit. Probably the most he’s worked in his entire life,” he laughs. Kendall feels queasy not knowing the answer and Stewy wants to pull them both out of the worrying. “But who cares? Time to celebrate. Drinks!” He gets up and pours himself a generous glass of scotch from the crystal bottle on the nearby mahogany table, opening his jacket and taking out a little plastic bag like they both always used to carry. Kendall visibly shrinks back and shakes his head.

“Come on, man, again?” Kendall tries, wondering how it’s possible that he still doesn’t get it. Stewy rolls his eyes.

“If you don’t want any, just turn that way.” He gestures toward the wall and pours a bit of coke onto the table. Kendall inhales sharply and gets up and walks toward the door.

“I can’t be in here if you’re gonna do that.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Stewy says as he cuts up a line and snorts it.

That’s it.

“It IS a fucking big deal,” Kendall spits out, prompting Stewy’s slow head turn toward him, standing right at the door facing away. He’s been putting up with this for years and now is not a relaxing moment. Now is the time when it’s hardest to say no and Stewy should have known that. He focuses on the carved wood on the door, counting the almost invisible marks in the grain.

“Dude. Relax, I’ll put it away,” Stewy says. Kendall closes his eyes and doesn’t want to turn around. He hates feeling like people think he’s a buzzkill, but he just can’t take it. Stewy looks over at him and puts the bag back in his jacket. “Ken. It’s fine, you can turn around.” He reluctantly does. “It’s all good, man. We’re doing this.” There’s a pause. “Hey. Like we always planned, yeah?” Kendall nods.

“Yeah.” He looks at the wall and the floor. “I gotta go, the fam’s waiting.” He reaches for the doorknob.

“Ken.” Stewy tilts his head and tries to look at him. Kendall wishes anyone he knew knew how to apologize.

“It’s fine. I’m good.”

Stewy looks at him, feeling discontented with a hint of regret.

“Really? Is this actually about this, or about the vote? Are we good?”

Kendall shrugs.

“Sure.” He opens the door and shuts it behind him. He turns and almost runs into Iverson on the gravelly path, trailed by Rava and Sophie a little ways back.

“Hey!” Rava calls as Iverson walks over to him first. “We were just looking for you.” Kendall leans down to give Iverson a hug.

“That picture you drew is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” he says seriously. “I mean that.” His son smiles and Kendall looks up at Rava and Sophie as they get closer.

“Hey,” he says. He knows he sounds spent and he feels like it. Rava’s eyes widen.

“You okay? How was talking to your dad?” She looks apprehensive but hopeful. Kendall sighs.

“I mean… it’s done, so, yeah.” He stands up and they all start walking back toward their room.

“And…?”

“I don’t know. That was just-“ he sighs again. Everything always has to pile on at once. His dad will never forgive him. He’s in a fight with Stewy. He can’t believe he’s going to have to face the entire family hating him at Shiv’s wedding, to face Roman thinking he cut him out on purpose and possibly turning against him. “Is it- can I just not talk about it right now?”

“Sure,” Rava says with concern as he gazes at the road in front of them. “It’s good we’re going back to the room before the festivities start.” The festivities. He can’t imagine wanting to go to a wedding reception later. He nods. The room sounds good. He hopes it’s quiet.

The kids want to continue their walk, so Bianca takes them out. Kendall and Rava enter back into their suite, all heavy wood and velvet upholstery in jewel tones of deep green and blue. Kendall pulls off his shoes as Rava steps down from her heels. He gazes at the grand canopy bed and wants to lie down more than anything. He fiddles with his jacket and Rava gives him a warm look.

“Are you worrying about wrinkling your suit?” He glances down with a small smile. She knows him so well. “Maybe if you just lie really still,” she suggests jokingly. He gives in and hangs up his jacket, walking back and lying down on his back staring up at the ceiling for a minute. She sits down next to him and looks over. She can’t take the suspense anymore. She has to know something. She starts with an easy question.

“So, um- did he yell? When you gave him the letter?”

Kendall exhales.

“Yeah.”

She puts her hand on his arm, a gentle reminder that she knows how hard that is for him. He turns his head away and tries to mentally float away from the memory.

“And… I mean, what did he say?”

“He wouldn’t even read it.” She winces a little. “I told him.” He closes his eyes and she smiles a bit sadly.

“Well… you did it.”

“Uh huh.” She rubs his arm.

“It’ll be okay,” she assures him. He keeps his eyes closed.

“Yeah? Do you have any proof?”

She chuckles a little.

“Only proof that it’s always ended up okay.” He opens his eyes slowly. She’s not wrong. She wonders if she should tell him about the talk she’d had with Gerri, but thinks now is not the time. It’s not the right day to mention anyone at Waystar. She decides on someone safer. “Hey, does Stewy want to join us and head over to cocktail hour later?” She figures he’s on the team now and his presence might be a positive distraction from the Logan mess. Kendall squirms a little at the thought of explaining and hopes he can just keep his distance from Stewy for the rest of the day.

“Uh, no. No, he’s- let’s just go with the kids.”

“Okay.” She looks at him expectantly. “Everything okay there? He’s still on board and everything?”

“Yeah. Yeah, he’s in.” He’s quiet for a second.

“Did something happen? What’s wrong?” She asks.

“Nothing, just-“ He briefly wishes he had the ability to hide small things like this from her and resigns himself to the fact that she’s too perceptive for that. Sometimes it’s a relief that she can read him like a book, but not at the moment. “He just- lives in the past sometimes. You know?” She gives him a confused look.

“No, what does that-“ She closes her eyes for a second as it hits her. “Jesus Christ. In the room with you? He’s doing drugs right in front of you?” She massages her temples. “I really might kill him, Ken.”

“No, it’s- you know, it’s fine. I mean, he stopped when I asked- when I told him to.”

She shakes her head and looks down at him.

“You shouldn’t have to tell him to,” she says. How anyone could want to make recovery harder for him than it already is is beyond her. Kendall looks at her and implores her with his eyes.

“Don’t say anything. Just- let it be. He’s not gonna change. I can’t have any more enemies right now.”

“Right. So it’s fine that for the next year you’re going to be having meetings at powder-covered conference tables? I don’t think so.” They hear the door open from the living room of the suite and Bianca’s keys jingle. “It’s not just about what you’re okay with,” she says, glancing in the direction of the door where the kids are. They share a meaningful look and he takes a deep breath.

“Yeah. I’ll deal with it.”

She nods, but she’s simmering beneath her placid surface. She considers the dynamic between Kendall and Stewy. Kendall gave Stewy another chance after he abstained from the vote. Stewy didn’t seem concerned that abstaining might end their friendship. He gave Kendall the money, but that just gave him more power over him. As far she Rava can tell, Stewy has the upper hand and Kendall isn’t going to say anything that could jeopardize their coalition. But this is just too important. There is no coalition if everyone in it is high out of their minds. She won’t lose him to a company or an overgrown fraternity.

“You know, I think I left my scarf at the ceremony, I’ll be right back.” She pats his shoulder and gets up, heading back down the path to the room she found him walking out of. She swings open the door and is suddenly alone with Stewy, who is disconcerted as he looks up from the slightly powdery table where his laptop is.

“What on earth were you thinking?” She hisses. Stewy drops his head back and sighs. “Remember Sophie and Iverson, his children? I would think as his supposed best friend you would care whether he can see them?”

“He tattled on me? Jesus… come on, you’re not taking the kids,” he says sarcastically. The cavalier attitude makes her want to scream. She closes her eyes in frustration and memories she hates start to come up. She doesn’t know how to get through to him except to bring him back.

“I- I mean, you were there. Covered his face from the photographers? Sat with me in the fucking ambulance? Promised me this would never happen again? ‘Never again.’ That’s what you said from the doorway of the hospital room you were too scared to come into. Remember any of that? Or have you obliterated all those brain cells?” She scoffs.

Stewy tries to keep his usual cool , but she can tell she’s getting to him. It had been the only time she’d ever heard him say ‘I’m sorry.’ He’s rarely at a loss for words and he doesn’t like being guilt-tripped. She doesn’t need to play dirty and he resents her acting like it’s his fault Kendall has a problem. The defensiveness combines with the coke and spills out for a moment.

“Stop, it is not a big deal.” Rava’s eyes widen and he hears himself and backtracks a little. “Yeah, I know. I remember.” He can’t bring himself to get deep right now and just wants her to go so he can get the evening started. “I’ve already gotten my scolding for the day. I got it. Okay? No more. I seriously did not think he’d care.” He starts walking out but can’t quite stop himself from turning back around to face her. “You know, it’s not my fault he can’t handle his shit like I can.”

“Can you?” She asks pointedly. She gestures to the table, clearly not yet cleaned. “I mean, can you not?”

He rolls his eyes but it takes a second.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” he says.

“Well, sometimes I do.”

“You worry about me. Because you care?” He asks airily, sarcasm almost masking curiosity.

She takes a second. He doesn’t have many people looking out for him.

“Yes, Stewy. Because I have the burden of worrying and caring about other people.”

“Oh, right. That must be terrible,” he deadpans. The corners of her mouth turn up nearly imperceptibly.

“Sometimes.” They look at each other. “You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I have experience in being supportive,” she offers carefully.

“You should save that for the guy who needs it,” he says, not unkindly, but not without defensiveness.

“Okay. Whatever you say.” She takes a step toward the door and looks over her shoulder at him. “Never again.”

Stewy nods and mets her gaze for a second.

“Yeah. Never again.”

Rava strides back into the suite and finds Kendall standing just inside the bedroom waiting for her. She stops short as she sees her pashmina draped over his arm.

“Found your scarf.” He raises his eyebrows and looks at her coolly. “I told you I would deal with him,” he says iin disbelief.

“Well, to be honest-“

“You didn’t think I would so you went behind my back.”

“Ken-“

He shakes his head.

“That’s great, Rava. You know, if you want to treat someone like a kid, we have two of them.” She rolls her eyes.

“Right. Because that’s what this is.”

“No, what this actually sounds like to me is you having no faith that I can do what I promise. You said that phase was over. ‘New phase.’ But it’s not. You don’t even think I can stand up for myself with someone I’ve known forever? So- so what else do you not think I can do?”

She hears the freakout and sighs, keeping her voice even.

“Okay. I’m not doing this. You’re talking to yourself, you know that? It’s you who’s worried you’re not up to the job, or staying clean, or whatever you’re referring to, not me. And if you want to talk about that, I am here. But Stewy and I are fine.” He’s getting more wound up by the second, feeling the tension of the day coming back after his brief attempt at relaxation.

“You don’t know what I’m thinking.”

“Well, fine. I’m sorry for caring so much about keeping you safe that I’ll go talk to someone who is putting you in danger.”

He scoffs. “Stewy? Okay. I don’t need you to keep me safe, I can take care of myself.”

A silence louder than their voices fills the room.

“Got it. New phase.” She raises her eyebrows and walks toward the door. He sighs and follows after her. Distance is not the phase he meant.

“Well, I didn’t- I- no,” he starts. She feels self-conscious and crosses her arms. “I love that you care.” He comes closer and hesitantly places his hand on her arm. “I love this,” he gestures between them. “I just- just let me deal with my own stuff.” She nods without looking at him. She reprimands herself for wanting to be needed so badly. There’s some relationship book she’d read making her out to be a bad partner for that- for viewing him as someone to fix or save. They haven’t seen his eyes, she’d thought, but she knew they had a point.

“Yeah. I’m sorry,” she says blandly. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out on your own.” She meant it to sound genuine, but it just makes him sigh. He didn’t mean actually alone. She brushes her hand down his arm and steps away a little bit. “You go ahead to the reception. I’ll catch up later with the kids.” She can feel that he’s upset but she can’t look.

“You’re- you’re skipping cocktail hour? Rava.”

But she’s walking back into the room already. She knows she shouldn’t do this, but her skin is crawling at the whole situation and she wants to be alone. But it’s the last thing he wants. He can’t believe that she won’t admit she’s wrong and he doesn’t even know who he can talk to at this stupid cocktail hour where there are no cocktails for him. He wishes he could summon that little plastic bag and anything else that might numb him. He feels guilty as he wonders if he’ll ever stop missing Macallan 30.

Reluctantly, he drags himself into the section of the stone manor that houses this part of the event and puts his hands in his pockets as he passes under the huge wooden archway of the door. He thought he was done making awkward event entrances by himself. He’s almost afraid to look around because he might accidentally make eye contact with someone who wants to kill him, but he quickly glances up to see if Roman’s around- and sees Caroline heading his way. Oh, good. Her smile is gleeful.

“Kendall.” She kisses his cheek.

“Hi, Mom.” He prepares himself for whatever barbs are coming at him.

“I heard you ruined your father’s day before he even got into his suit,” she titters. “I’m so proud.” He tries not to take the much-needed comment seriously.

“Yeah. Thanks.” The last time they’d talked alone, four months ago, was when Kendall had called to try to connect with her on a lonely Saturday. He was looking forward to the CEO announcement and wanted to share it with someone. Caroline had sounded highly doubtful that Logan would keep his word and it had made him bite his nails and lose sleep for a night. She’d assured him it would be better for him to get out and he’d attempted to explain why that was literally unthinkable. He’d tried to throw in a bit about missing Rava and his eventual plan to win her back, and she’d told him how smart she’d always thought Rava was to stay out of the Roy fray. Kendall had felt stung and wondered why he always kept trying with his mom. He looks cautiously at her as she continues.

“Where’s Rava? Haven’t you gotten her enough staff for her to come join the fun?”

“Yes, Mom. She’ll be here. I guess.”

She looks pleasantly amused and takes a sip of her champagne. Kendall looks at the glass enviously.

“So, how long do you give it?” His eyes flash up at her. Even he has a limit.

“How long do I give us?” He asks incredulously. “Really?”

“No!” Caroline laughs again, light and tinged with the discomfort of a life of never being taken seriously. “Your sister and Tom.” He takes a breath.

“Oh.” Nice not to be the target. “Uh, I don’t know, until she convinces Dad to make Tom head of whatever the fuck and she finds out that’s all he wanted?”

“Are you going to promote Tom if you win this little game you’re playing with Logan?”

“It’s not a game.” She looks slightly suspicious and Kendall feels more annoyed than ever at the fact that Logan thinks they’re just playing chess. “And as for Tom, as much as I love social climbers…” he trails off as he sees Rava coming through the room’s grand entryway in her blue silk dress. She starts a conversation with the people next to her and doesn’t look around for him. Caroline follows his gaze.

“So what did you do?” She asks. “The au pair?” He shuts his eyes and sighs.

“Jesus. Obviously not.”

“So now poor Rava’s stuck with the kids and doesn’t come to cocktail hour on time?” He looks miserable. “Always the serious one,” she almost laughs and he wishes she would be serious for one second. She pats his hand. “But the handsome one, too. I’m sure you could do better than that nanny. Lord knows your father always did.” Kendall remembers feeling sorry for her once it occurred to him around age fourteen that Logan kept mistresses at the other residences where he occasionally stayed.

“Okay, Mom. That’s not- no. I’m not Dad.”

“No, no, of course not. Only joking.” She tilts her head down and raises her eyebrows. “You could laugh. Not all of us want to be so sullen.” Kendall gives her a dry look and Caroline takes another sip as she looks over at Rava. “Only been a few months since her miraculous return, and she’s all the way over there.” He feels a little lost in resentment. “Careful. The drifting happens before you know what’s hit you.”

Kendall looks at his mom and wishes he could really talk to her, ask her advice and have her give him a hug. He briefly considers the fact that she is referencing a time when she missed Logan and he tries to conjure a memory of his parents laughing or flirting or kissing. A strange sense of pity for both of them settles onto him and he wonders if Caroline ever held Logan the way Rava holds him every night. If Logan would even let her. Stewy’s advice to distance himself from the Enemy echoes in his head as he struggles not to empathize with them. He’d watched as they’d started to sleep in separate rooms, then separate houses as he got into his late teens. The idea of being distant from Rava that way makes him feel sick.

“Well, we’re not drifting. We’ll figure it out.”

“Of course. So, you give Shiv what- a year?”

“Sure,” he replies. Caroline smiles.

“Come outside with your dear old mum?” She asks, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from her clutch. He glances at them.

“Really trying to quit,” he answers. “For the kids.”

“Oh, you’re no fun anymore,” his mom teases.

“Yeah, that’s what I hear,” he sighs.

“Just one. Or stay here and wait for the feral dogs to come after you,” she says with a twinkle in her eye. "I hear they're all out looking."

He sighs again and turns and follows Caroline outside. He lights her cigarette and stands in the windy air. It’s cold and he buttons up his coat to stop it from prickling his skin through his suit. She hands the cigarette to him and he takes a drag, taking a moment to feel the calm before handing it back and deciding that’s it for the night. He and Rava don’t need another thing to fight about. It’s been weeks and he’s been doing so well. He stares out at the landscape he has so many memories of running in. The feeling of freedom was nice, even if it wasn’t real.

"So, you, uh, just got inspired to get me out of there right on time?" He asks.

"Well, I'm a philanthropist now," she says with a delectable sarcasm.

"Oh yeah?"

"According to Tatler. I wouldn't dare argue with that kind of expertise." He almost chuckles. Did she do something just to be nice?

"Uh-huh."

“You know, your father nearly smacked a waiter tonight, couldn’t have been more than twenty years old.” She says it like she wishes she were surprised. Kendall shakes his head.

“Well, is the kid okay?”

“Oh, he’s all paid off and drove off, that’s the way. No consequences for Logan.”

“Yeah.” Kendall pauses. “Maybe. Maybe there are consequences for him.”

Kendall walks Caroline back into the party and starts carefully wandering into the minefield of a cocktail hour, scanning for Rava. They have to fix this. He hated going to weddings during the separation, even when he was only there for the networking. He used to sit at the table and stare at cake he couldn’t eat during slow songs. Sometimes if the song hit home too hard he’d find an excuse to leave the room. He and Rava always fed each other wedding cake at receptions they attended to recall their own happy day. Loneliness was so much worse when it felt like the memories of his own wedding day were getting rained on. This was the first wedding he’s looked forward to in years- their first as a reunited couple- and he doesn’t want it to be a loss.

He’s shocked to spot her in the corner with Stewy as well as Kendall’s least favorite board member, Paul. Kendall is under no delusions of who the “friend” was who Stewy had told him wanted Rava. He feels a surge of anger at all three of them- how could Stewy let Paul talk to Rava? How could Rava make up with Stewy before him? How could Paul still be hitting on Rava even after they had officially and very publicly gotten back together?? The way he’s looking and smiling at Rava makes Kendall want to scream. Paul must be twenty years older than them, it’s pathetic. He can see Paul’s eyes flitting to places only he can touch and he has to take a breath so he doesn’t force him to back away. He thinks vengefully about how long Paul will last on the board when he’s CEO. He makes a beeline for their group and tries to stay as smooth as he can. Stewy sees him coming and puts his arm around him once he gets there, patting his back and bringing him into the circle.

“Ken. So glad you made it.” Stewy makes eye contact for a moment. “Seriously.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Kendall answers. We’re good. He swiftly turns to Rava.

“Hi,” he says with a smile at her, kissing her cheek and slipping his arm around her waist. She looks pleasantly surprised at the warmth in what she was expecting to be an awkward moment. He looks at Paul as he wraps his fingers around her side, making sure her body is touching his.

“Paul, good to see you,” he says with what Rava has often joked is his “business smile” as he reaches out his hand to shake Paul’s. She recognizes the expression and tries to hide a grin. This is an entirely different kind of awkward moment.

“You too, Kendall. Hope life outside the Waystar family is serving you well.” Kendall stops himself from rolling his eyes at the obvious dig.

“Yeah. I’m good,” Kendall confirms.

“Rava was just telling me that you two are heading to Saint-Tropez this season.”

Kendall’s fury at Paul subsides a little at the mention of the couple’s old inside joke- Rava used to tell other people that she and Kendall were going on vacation before she’d ask him so he would have no choice but to take time off and go with her. He looks at Rava and she gives him an apologetic smile. He chuckles.

“That’s right, I had almost forgotten. But yeah, it’s about time. Pretty over this dreariness. It’s about time to take my wife to the Riviera again.”

“Oh, yeah, well, maybe I’ll see you there. I’m getting a place there this winter too,” Paul replies.

Stewy looks quietly delighted at the passive-aggressive discord and Rava catches his eye for half a second to share in the amusement. The ice between everyone in the circle melts a bit as she leans into Kendall.

“We would love that,” she says. Kendall glances down at her with a hint of a smile. Paul gets the picture and looks at the ice cubes Stewy is lightly swirling.

“Stewy, can’t have an empty glass. To the bar?”

“Thank God, yes. Excuse us.” Stewy nods and smiles at Kendall and Rava before he walks away.

Rava looks up at Kendall and hopes he doesn’t let go. His muscles loosen a little but he keeps his arm around her.

“That whole thing with Stewy-“ she starts. “-I should have told you I wanted to talk to him. I got scared, Ken. I don’t think he respects your sobriety. As your friend, he should, so I told him that. We just… hadn’t checked in in a long time. He and I are okay, though. We just needed a minute.” She gives him a hug that he can tell she needs for comfort. He hugs her back and turns his face into her hair.

“Okay. Yeah- I mean, I don’t know that I really wanted to talk to him about it anyway. I want you guys to be fine though. This is going to be hard if you’re arguing all the time.” They move apart and she shakes her head.

“No, we won’t. We’re fine now- and I hope he’s going to do better. He knows I want good things for him, too.”

“Okay. Good.” He takes a second. “I really hate fighting with you,” he says quietly. He barely shakes his head for a second. “I don’t want us to, like, drift, you know?” He sighs and searches her eyes before glancing down for a moment. The thought of being distant and cold like his parents is so genuinely upsetting that he can feel a lump forming in his throat. “I’m fucking insanely stressed and I know things are all over the place, but- I don’t want to do things ‘on my own.’ I tried that, you know… and I hated it.”

“Hey, no, no drifting. Come here, Superman.” She pulls him back. “I want you right here all the time,” she lays her hand on the back of his head with her chin over his shoulder. It feels so freeing to say the truth after trying to keep her distance for so long. He breathes in her scent and lets some tension go. He wishes they were already in their room so he wouldn’t have to let go so fast. This day has been exhausting and it’s hitting him. He just wants to curl up in bed and fall asleep to the sound of her breathing.

“That’s what I want too,” he murmurs. He pauses to collect himself before remembering the conversation they’d just been a part of. “That and for Paul to fall off a cliff,” he grumbles, tightening his arms around her and slipping his hands just a bit lower on her back. Rava smiles and decides to egg him on just a little bit.

“Ohhhh, he’s not that bad.”

Kendall pulls back to look at her.

“No?” He asks with just enough humor to keep it low-key. “You don’t see the way that old geezer looks at you? I can’t wait til I don’t need his vote and can fire him Dad-style, whole board watching.”

“Ken,” She stifles a laugh. “That is insane.”

“He was fucking undressing you with his eyes,” he mutters. Rava smiles and presses her chest into him.

“Well, maybe after the reception I’ll let you undress me with your hands.”

“Are you flirting with me?” He brushes his cheek against hers and works all the charm he has. She pretends to think.

“I think I might be.” He feels the warmth come back into his body.

“So, reception for, like, not that long?” He laughs. She laughs along and he takes her hand as they walk toward the reception hall. “Are the kids-?”

“With Connor,” she answers.

“Oh, good. They’ll come back teaching us about fucking- cryogenics and conspiracy theories about French history,” he jokes. “Actually though, I’ve always thought he should be a dad.”

Rava shrugs and grins.

“Maybe he will be. Willa’s not exactly age-appropriate.” He chuckles.

“Yeah. The kids need cousins.” The thought makes him happy and Rava considers what a good job Connor did with his first kid.

……………..

The passive-aggressive toasts that veer toward simply aggressive make Rava shake her head and roll her eyes at Kendall every minute or so, quietly laughing at the pathetic nature of their insults. She’s keeping it light enough that he can ignore most of the jabs in his direction and he’s grateful only to have to listen halfway. It’s hard to distract him when Logan subtly accuses him of ruining the wedding, but he tries to focus on knowing what he’s doing is right. He looks nervously at Roman and is not comforted by his lack of eye contact, which feels purposeful. Kendall can’t decide if he’s being paranoid or not. Next to him, Rava almost catches Gerri's eye, but Gerri deftly avoids looking back. As Rava sips more champagne, her tongue gets more acidic, making him laugh with her sharp comments about everyone’s caustic remarks. He admires how naturally she can lighten a mood, the way she can smooth over the most difficult situations so effortlessly. He’s always wished he had that kind of ease and hopes it somehow soaks into him. During a brief break between toasts, Kendall gets curious about her family politics.

“Hey, how’s everything with your stepdad these days? I know he was kind of being difficult to you around Thanksgiving-“

“And most of the time? You know, he ‘expects my success!’” she imitates. She gives him a twinkle. “But unsurprisingly, he’s been much nicer since I told him we’re back together.” Kendall tries not to let the glow shine through his eyes. He’s unsuccessful and Rava thinks it’s sweet. She knows how much it means to him to get challenging parental approval. “He does love you,” she smiles.

Kendall shrugs in a comically exaggerated way.

“I should be the favorite somewhere, right?”

She takes his hand under the table and chances a look in Logan’s direction. She catches him calmly looking right at Kendall. The vitriol seems to have left his icy blue eyes, and for a second, she could swear he was just a dad wanting to see his son at a family wedding.

“Mmm, I wouldn’t discount being number one here either. Not just yet,” she says.

Kendall decides he likes the premise too much to argue with it, but his stomach twists at the idea that his dad must feel betrayed and furious. He allows himself a millisecond-long glance at his father, who he can see is turning away. He feels a pang of regret and tries to replace it with fortitude, but he’s hit with a wave of desperate wishes to be closer to him, to hear that he’s proud, to get a hug just given out of affection. He thinks about how hard he’s trying to earn his dad’s respect and wonders if he can ever win his love. He remembers Logan smiling at him when he was a little kid and feeling like the world was his every time. What had he done wrong to lose that? He runs through every corporate action he had taken since his dad had bestowed the future title on him a year and a half ago. The late-night strategy sessions they’d had about his ascendence to the throne were some of the only bright spots of the last few years. “When it’s you,” Logan had always started, “I want you to focus in on…” Kendall had always had to try with all his might to hear anything after ‘when it’s you’ in his father’s gruff, strong, self-assured voice. He could have sworn he felt the hot shots of adrenaline and dopamine shooting through his entire body. The few times he’d received praise for doing something right, he had floated home on air. Anxiety floods him at the thought that he might never get another night like those. He’s dying for reassurance.

“I think we should go to your parents’ house when we get back,” he says suddenly. Rava smiles uncertainly.

“Okay.” She squeezes his hand. “You in need of some cookies and compliments?”

He had truly missed his in-laws during their time apart. Rava’s mom and step-dad had always been so kind to him in ways his own parents never were. Rava’s mom Cheryl freely hugged him all the time and always asked the cook to bring him seconds. Their beautiful house always smelled like some delicious baked good, and even into his thirties she would still pat him on the shoulder and tell him he was doing a great job and deserved a break. Rava’s step-dad Robert poured him scotch and talked business in a much more upbeat and excited way than Logan did, once in a while even offering a high-five after hearing about a successful board vote or an acquisition when Kendall managed to save existing jobs while still turning a profit. It was so rare that Kendall got the chance to talk about work with someone who had no financial stake in what happened and just genuinely wanted him to succeed. As a powerful M&A lawyer, Robert had high expectations of Rava and could be hard on her, and Kendall tried to slip in bits about her success too. They went golfing every few months after Robert retired, and Kendall knew it as worth enduring Logan’s disapproval of him having any other family members. One of the most painful casualties of the separation for Kendall was his never-ending worry that his surrogate parents for seventeen years now thought he was a junkie and hated him. But Rava had reminded him throughout their time apart that she would never talk about him that way and that they were also sad about the split.

“Cookies and compliments,” he breaks into a little smile and looks at the table. “Do you know how good that sounds right now?” He almost laughs at himself for how much he needs to be around people who honestly like him in this moment.

“Then we’ll go. For now, how about some cake, and your hair looks nice,” she says with a grin. He reaches up to check his hair in case it was messy and that was a joke. She laughs lightly. “Really? I meant that! It is definitely time to go to my parents’. You need a break.”

“Stewy will love that.”

“He’ll love having you getting things done at full capacity. And Roman- where is Roman?”

“Uh, we don’t know,” he replies uneasily.

“You don’t know?” She repeats.

“He gave his speech, he went somewhere with Tabitha maybe, I don’t see her either now, but… you know- weird timing.”

“Well, yeah,” she agrees. Just as she finishes the word, the DJ returns and turns on the fun music everyone’s been waiting for. Kendall and Rava breathe a sigh of relief at being free from the dangerous speeches and walk out onto the dance floor. Kendall stops for a minute to look around and make sure it’s safe out there. Logan is walking out with Frank and Gerri, Shiv is with Tom at the head table, and Roman has indeed disappeared. He finds that particularly worrisome but decides to push it out of his mind and enjoy the moment. Rava goes ahead to the kids and the three of them start dancing while Kendall hangs back. Classic multicolored uplighting flits across their faces and he takes a moment to absorb the purely happy scene. Rava catches his eye and smiles as she does silly dance moves with the kids. He feels the same flip in his chest as he would when she’d spot him at a party when they were just starting to date. She could always tell that the party king image was an inch deep and that he probably needed encouragement to approach her. Sophie runs over and throws herself into him for one of her sweet enthusiastic hugs that make everything brighter. Rava follows with Iverson and reaches for Kendall’s hand.

“You wanna dance?” She’s bouncing already and he takes her hand and follows her out with a cheerful air. She makes them all into a circle and they swing around, jumping up and down. The kids look positively delighted, and seeing their joyful expressions looking up at him makes him promise himself he’ll do anything it takes to keep them like that forever. He watches Rava giggle and twirls her. She spins close to him and gives him a quick kiss.

“Mom!!” Sophie yells. Rava chuckles and pats her head as she looks back at Kendall and watches him bounce and dance.

“I remember you,” she smiles at him. “You’re fun!” He laughs.

“You’re definitely the only one who’s of that opinion tonight.” But he only needs one. The song slows down and Rava glances at Kendall’s watch.

“Kids, it is way past your bedtime!” She motions to Bianca to come take them to bed. “Bianca is going to help you get ready for bed and then we’ll come kiss you goodnight, okay?” The kids reluctantly agree and Kendall kisses the top of their heads before Bianca leads them out.

“Slow song…” Rava looks at him invitingly. They sway to the music and she looks up at him, placing both her hands on his face and pulling him to her lips. She can’t wait another second to feel his lips, to close her eyes and lean into him. He lets himself relax the way he only ever can with her. After a minute he returns to proper form, but she steps in to close the gap between them, laying her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t remember this part of Cotillion,” he smiles.

“Hmm, well, New York didn’t do it like Connecticut, then,” she smirks.

“Oh, am I married to a bad girl?” He whispers.

“You have no idea.”

“No? You have tricks I haven’t seen?”

She raises her eyebrows and pulls him to her again for a deeper kiss. They’ve both forgotten everyone’s eyes around them.

“Mmmm… that’s good champagne,” he whispers. She laughs silently and puts her forehead on his.

“Stopppp!”

“Yeah, I’m generally not very good at that,” he jokes. He kisses her again, open-mouthed, and she can feel the passion. He’s tasting her. “So good,” he breathes. “Let’s go. Back to the room.”

She giggles and he starts walking with his arm around her. Just at that moment, they clock Roman and Tabitha walking through the door. Rava looks disappointed at the thought of yet another interruption in their day and Kendall notices.

“Hang on just a second,” he says quickly, and she reluctantly lets him go and makes peace with another night of falling asleep by herself. To her surprise, he walks over to Stewy and then straight back to her. “Okay, let’s go.”

“You don’t have to talk to Roman?” Rava asks.

“I told Stewy I think I’ve had enough confrontation for one day. I talked to my dad, I think he can handle my brother.” He smiles at her. “You know what he said, though, and I hadn’t even processed it yet?”

“What?”

“We did it. We’re taking over the fucking company.”

Chapter 12 💗

#1x10 the wedding has been fixed (basically)#chapter spoilers in tags #I started the Alongside Canon Fix-It concept for this fic early on once I realized how this night would have been completely different #if Kendall and Rava had been together for most of S1 #always found it so weird and interesting how jesse said he didn't care much to explore Kendall's addiction because #it literally causes this incredibly central event #and you know #what if he had more support and it didn't???#we see how stable he was and how feeling a sudden lack of support from everyone contributed to the relapse #not that the relationship alone could fix everything #but everything I research emphasizes how important support is to people in recovery #there's a much higher chance of staying sober with a support system #ken basically had no sobriety support canonically but it's so much better when he does! things will be so different 👀#this chapter is special to me because it starts the first plot points that will run parallel to canon in S2!#kendall roy #kenrava #rava roy #kendall x rava #kendall roy fic #succession fic

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amidnight--dreary · 4 months

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Okay so first song I put on the playlist was Black Friday by Tom Odell. There were just certain lines in this song that just stood out to me and reminded me of more so Loki’s pov, like

“It's all in my head, it's all in my mind

I'm so selfish, you're so kind

It's all in my head, baby, I can't breathe”

Idk it just stood out to me and kinda reminded me of their earlier days and also the lyrics “I wanna better body, I want better skin, I wanna be perfect” just gave me Loki vibes too, and then “You look so pretty, Pretty like the wind, Every time you touch me I feel adrenaline” makes me think of Loki’s pov of Tony. BUT THEN the part of this song that really got me was towards the end “It's all in my head, Who do I trust? I thought that you loved me, What is happening to us?” Like not only is it the lyrics but it's like the desperation of how he sings that part just reminds me of Loki’s obsessiveness and possessiveness over Tony and that part just makes me think of their big downfall after Tony’s first escape attempt (and his second attempt too probably). Like the emotion and devastation and betrayal at that point of the song just really made me think of them and their downfall.

Next song! Letter to an old poet by boygenius. This one gave me more Tony pov vibes. Especially during their downfall era. A lot of the lyrics remind me of them like, “I said I think that you're special, You told me once that I'm selfish, And I kissed you hard in the dark In the closet.” This just reminds me of them in general. And then “You think you're a good person because you won't punch me” reminded me of Tony’s thoughts when he found out Loki manipulated him into trying to escape to show he won’t punish him. And then the lyric “And I love you, I don't know why I just do” He loves him… he doesn't know why :( “But you're not special, you're evil, You don't get to tell me to calm down you make me feel like an equal but I'm better than you and you should know that by now” this just really made me think of Tony’s pov of Loki in their dark days before Loki let him go.

Next is Bite the Hand by boygenius. This just reminds me of Tony's pov before Loki let him go or maybe after his escape attempt. “I can't love you how you want me to” just fit really well for them I thought. Loki wanted love so bad he bought it and Tony couldn’t love him the way Loki wants him to :( “Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am? What do you wanna say? What do you think will change? Maybe I'm afraid of you” This just really fit Tony's pov in my opinion. And then the lyric “I'll bite the hand that feeds me” Also fit his pov to me.

Next is Liquid Smooth, I don’t really have a in-depth dive into this one I just added it in because it reminds me of both of their issues with sex.

Next up is tolerate it by taylor swift. This one hurt lol. To me it’s Loki’s pov in those last few years in Asgard where Tony was cold and distant and ignoring him and being a pretty bad dom to him. “I sit and watch you reading with your head low, I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed, I sit and watch you, I notice everything you do or don't do, You're so much older and wiser, and I, I wait by the door like I'm just a kid”

Like c’mon. This reminds me of Loki describing how those last few years in Asgard were for him.

“Use my best colors for your portrait, Lay the table with the fancy shit, And watch you tolerate it”

Reminds me of Loki just trying everything to make Tony happy but it doesn’t matter at that point.

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life”

This one just also…

Next is illicit affairs, This one just overall reminded me of their relationship in Asgard.

Next is Vampire Empire by Big Thief. This one is honestly just a few lyrics that remind me of them. “You lay upon my pillow and you open like a flower, I wanted to see you naked, I wanted to hear you scream, Wanted to kiss your skin and your everything, I wanted to be your woman, I wanted to be your man, I wanted to be the one that you could understand”

This one I feel could go for either of their povs.

“Well, I walked into your dagger for the last time, It's like trying to start a fire with matches in the snow, Where you can't seem to hold me, can't seem to let me go, So I can't find surrender and I can't keep control”

This one just fits both of them.

“You turn me inside out, and then you want me outside in, You spin me all around, and then you ask me not to spin”

This one is probs more Loki pov

Next is im your man by mitski. This one I feel like could be seen from either of their povs. These are some lyrics that made me think of them;

“You're an angel, I'm a dog, Or you're a dog and I'm your man”

“You believe me like a god, I'll destroy you like I am”

And this next one kinda gives me Loki pov.

“I'm sorry I'm the one you love, No one will ever love me like you again, So when you leave me, I should die, I deserve it, don't I?”

Next is i will by Mitski. This one reminds me of Loki’s pov and desperation to not let go of Tony.

And last one is dog days by ethel cain.

“I think of you while you're at work, Out in the fields, tearing up the earth, But I like you best when you're at home, Giving it to me so nice and fucking slow”

Uhh yeah Loki pov lol.

“No one's ever gonna love me, no, not like you do, Every night, I'm crying in my sleep 'cause I'm dreaming about you, And I've tried so hard to quit you like I promised my mama I would, But it's no good, it's no good”

Still Loki pov

And this next one could go for either of them “You walk a fine line between god and animal, You're just a feral dog I worship in bedroom ceremonials”

“Love's never been more than pain, so baby, show me how bad you hurt”

“You're no good, I'm no good, we're no good”

Okay that’s all! Sorry this got so long lol. I’ll probs end up adding more songs to the playlist at some point. also i realized a lot of these songs have dog motifs and dagger symbolism which i think fits pretty well but i did not do it on purpose lol

Oh my god it's so sweet that you took the time to make the playlist and write this much about it! Don't apologize for it being long it literally gives me life. You've made my day!! Okay I'm gonna listen to the songs and respond to your thoughts lol

I love Tom Odell but somehow I hadn't heard Black Friday before?? Shame on me, it's so good, and it fits really well. The "you're so pretty, pretty like the sun" part in the beginning?? Totally Loki about Tony. You're right, it really fits to Loki's possessiveness and like his desperate attempts to convince them both that it can work like this even though it's already clear that it can't. Thanks Mr. Odell for breaking my heart

"You think you're a good person because you won't punch me" is already devastating on it's own but it totally matches what Tony thinks about Loki a lot of times, and also it's just kinda true?? Like for a while Loki totally thinks he's a good person, or at least better at everyone else on Asgard, just because he gives Tony some basic rights rip. I hadn't heard this one before either but I love it! It's so sad!!

You didn't say anything about Younger and Dumber but! it's so good and it's so Tony thinking about life when he was free. "and the love I feel is so very real it'll drag you down"??? Like?? It breaks my heart also

Bite The Hand is so good!! It really makes me think of Tony's helplessness and him not knowing how to fix things and being fucking scared of Loki all the time even though he loves him. Also the switch from feed to need?? 10/10

I love Mitski so much!! Liquid Smooth makes me feel a lot of things rip it's so ominous and heavy somehow

Oh tolerate it always kills me. I listen to it like twice a day and I think it actually kinda inspired me to write about Tony treating Loki like that so I'm really happy that it reminds you of them!! That means I did something right!!! It's so goddamn heartbreaking oh god

I've never thought about illicit affairs in this context but it totally fits! Like maybe not even in the sexual affair sense and more like. Everyone in Asgard thinks of Tony like an object and meanwhile Loki is just head over heels in love with him. So it's more the emotional aspect he has to hide. And the whole d/s stuff lol

I've never heard Vampire Empire before but I love it!!

I'm Your God is?? Perfect?? "You believe me like a god I betray you like a man" like Loki idolizing Tony in a sense, he's good and in love with him and loyal, wanting it all to be perfect, and then just. Ah well there goes my heart

I Will also breaks my heart when I think about it too much. These all break my heart

Oh Dog Days is one of my favs!! It's so good I love it and it fits so well!!

I think I'm just gonna go ahead and add all these to my own FI playlist lol. Again thank you so much!! 💖 This will give me serotonin for like a week

#ask #abby420

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imagineironfalcon · 7 months

Text

*cracks knuckles* Okay, let’s get back in this saddle, yeah?

---

When everyone had dispersed to their rooms in the compound – either returning to old rooms or finding new ones – Sam quietly snuck his way to Tony’s. The door was unlocked, and he gave the usual two quick knocks and waited a few seconds before stepping inside.

Tony was undoing his cuffs, sparing Sam only a brief glance before focusing his gaze back downwards.

Sam walked up to him, hesitating only a moment before gently brushing Tony’s hands aside and taking over the shirt buttons. Tony let him, letting out a deep and slow breath, head tilting back and eyes closing.

“This okay?” Sam asked, voice hushed, as he reached the last button.

“Yeah.”

He pushed the shirt off of Tony’s shoulders, tossing it over towards the hamper, and went to work on the belt. Tony took back over dressing after that, and Sam stripped off his own shirt and jeans. They crawled into bed together, Sam clutching Tony close. He’d missed this. Since everything fell apart, he’d missed this. The physical intimacy.

They’d been exchanging letters since a few months after Steve broke Sam out of The Raft. There’d been accusations and apologies and confessions, fear and guilt and love expressed through words.

Somehow, somehow… they’d managed to work things out between them, to save the relationship they’d had.

Hands shaking, Sam curled himself more into Tony’s chest and closed his eyes tight.

There was one thing they’d never talked about.

Sam had never asked. Tony never offered.

That probably said a lot.

“I know… I know that something went down, in Siberia. Steve won’t talk about it; Barnes was down an arm.” He waited, but Tony said nothing, fingers still stroking through Sam’s short hair in an easy, slow rhythm. “What happened, Tony?”

After what felt like several intense moments of silence, Tony said, “If I tell you, you have to promise me not to make a big deal out of it.”

Sam tensed.

“I’m… mostly over it. Enough so that I can work with them both. I don’t – if things get made a big deal out of, it’ll just make it all fresh again, make it harder for everyone to work together.” He paused. “I don’t know if I’ll ever really be able to forgive Steve, Sam. But I can enough to work with him. To be friendly. But not if we’re reliving that mess again.”

Sighing, Sam said, “Fine. I’ll not make a big deal out of it.”

“Or bother Steve?”

“Or bother Steve. Or Barnes. Not about Siberia, at least.”

“Fair enough,” Tony said, and blew out a bracing breath.

Slowly, Tony recited events from then. Pieces fell into place that Sam had been missing, Steve’s anger and odd guilt, Barnes’ quiet resignation. Sam breathed through the anger – with all three of them, honestly; with Zemo especially – and just listened.

When Tony trailed off, Sam knew he was leaving something out. He pressed a kiss to Tony’s chest, and Tony’s fingers twitched against his back.

“None of us were willing to stop,” Tony said, voice only trembling a little. “Steve… brought the shield….”

Sam realized he wasn’t breathing, that the only sound was Tony’s slightly rough and slightly too fast breathing.

“I got lucky. The suit was totaled, but the metal didn’t tear too badly through the undersuit’s material, and – I mean there was some serious muscle bruising and a few fractures but…. It could have been much worse. My arm was the worst damage, and that was from the airport.”

Eyes closed, Sam struggled to find some calm in the fear and anger burning through him. He grappled for it, because Tony didn’t need his anger, he needed Sam’s calm, Sam’s acceptance.

“I love you,” was all Sam could find it in himself to offer.

Tony squeezed him closer. “I love you, too.”

~*~*~

Sam didn’t “make a big deal out of it”, like Tony had asked of him. He barely even glared at Steve the next morning, in fact.

He spent more time around Tony. That could easily be explained as missing his boyfriend, of course, so no one questioned it. He knew if he tried to hang around Steve just yet, with his anger and frustration and fear still simmering so close in his chest, he’d break his promise to Tony.

Keeping a promise to Tony was more important to him than giving Steve a talking too, like he deserved.

His boyfriend could defend himself if he wanted to. Sam needed to step back.

For now, at least.

Until this whole new mess was taken care of.

Until he was calmer.

Then, maybe, he and Steve would have a talk about “extreme options” and “triggering past trauma” and Sam would make it clear that if Steve wasn’t one of his best friends, and Tony hadn’t made it clear that he was mostly over it (and guilty of being just as vicious in the fight), Sam would not just be talking to Steve.

Then he’d maybe have to figure out a way to hit Steve good for lying to Tony for years, whether or not he’d had good intentions.

#prompts #IronFalcon #Tony Stark #Sam Wilson #TonyxSam #Jules #marvelingjules #anonymous #post Civil War #established relationship

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riverdale-retread · 8 months

Text

Riverdale S7 E 17 (Chapter 134) A Different Kind of Cat

Betty is in her room, angrily typing about how she “can’t hold back any longer,” telling her newsletter readers that she’s been reading their outpourings. She lists the sins that have been committed against her - made to be a cheerleader, put into therapy, had her diaries read, rejected by her mother, and of course, she was also slapped. As vengeance she’s going to release a book, ‘The Collected and Expanded Teenage Mystique.” She’s going to only put out the uncensored truth about being a teenager. She wants to burn the small minded town to the ground.

Alice is a most inconsistent jail keeper by the way because Betty is typing really loudly with her door wide open, and there are a pile of letters from girls on her desk, but Alice isn’t aware of any of THIS going on.

Speaking of goings on - Jeronica are about to make their school debut! They have not figured out how to do a couples look yet - Veronica is wearing a shoulderless cleavage baring ballgown type thing in purple, and Jughead is wearing an orange zigzag sweater. Jughead wants to take it easy on the rest of the Riverdale population - he’s willing to just follow in Veronica’s wake. I love this about him, immediately, because this seems like the correct attitude for a boyfriend of Veronica Lodge’s to have. Veronica will not stand for it. She takes his hand, and they step into the school together. Jughead looks more than a little worried.

The first person they see is Julian, who sees them hold hands and looks peeved. Then Cheryl and Toni pass. Toni is merely interested, but Cheryl is full of contempt. I keep forgetting that Cheryl actively dislikes Veronica in this universe for stealing her rich beautiful girl thunder because they were lowkey in need and in love with each other for so much of Seasons 1-6. The next person to clock them is Betty, who looks like it gives her indigestion. Which is no surprise because Veronica? Veronica! What was all that cosmic kissing talk from the past couple episodes? Betty comes by her discomfort very honestly here. More and more students notice the handholding.

Jughead is happy that the gauntlet is over. He says he’s not used to being stared at by so many people. That can’t possibly be true. You go to school wearing a felt crown. You burst in on the student lounge and yelled at people about milk. You just didn’t INTEND to get stared at until today. Veronica tells him that even she hadn’t ever garnered quite this much attention, not since she wore her “sexy witch costume” to school for Halloween by mistake. Jughead has no idea what she’s talking about, but he is turned on so hard so fast, that she has to ask him directly if he “has a thing for sexy teen witches.”

Jughead is so cute. He looks like he doesn’t know if he should run away to jack off or hurl from nervousness: “Well, yes! Yes I do!” But then he always covers all his reactions to things with a sort of This is About My Art kind of gloss, so he immediately segues into: “I know a boss idea when I hear one.” Veronica will have none of it.

Using her most kittenish voice, she says, “I’m glad to have inspired …[looks directly at his crotch, pauses, then looks back up to his face] .. *something.*” They share a very chaste kiss in the hallway farewell.

Archie is showing his poem to Miss Grundy. Miss Grundy says the poem demonstrates that he “grew up overnight.” She wants to know what happened. He prostituted a woman is what happened. We cut to -WHY? WHY DO WE CUT TO THIS? WE GET IT! STOP SHOWING ME THIS! - Reggie and Archie inside Twyla’s red-lit depressing prostitution room as she closes the door. Archie omits that part and tells his teacher only about the sunrise he watched with Reggie when he was somehow much more fucked out than Reggie.

I hate Archie all over again. I hope Twyla never caught an STD but with fervor I pray that she gave one to Reggie and Archie like the Virgin getting impregnated by the Word.

Grundy, who has no clue, tells him to “keep doing” whatever it is he’s doing.

Archie tells the nastiest sex pun of all time, purely for his own benefit. Can I say again? I hate Archie. They ruined sweet, earnest, stupid S7 Archie for me wholesale by doing this. He says, “I’m definitely going back.” He’s so SLEAZY.

In the other storyline that I hate that I guess they’re keeping, Cheryl and Toni are using school resources to develop raunchy photos of themselves. Fail Lesbians. Terrific.

In a class that Grundy is about to teach about the Enlightenment Period, Jughead, seated immediately behind Cheryl, is drawing a very sexy teen witch that looks just like Veronica Lodge on a broomstick. He’s actually a very competent artist.

In the student lounge, Reggie has told Julian about his recent experience as a man who prostitutes women. Julian refuses to whisper about any of it. “YOU AND ANDREWS?’ he basically hollers, as Reggie cringes. Oh Julian. I was rooting for you, because you can sing and you look cute as the ur-Archie. You ruined this. “You and Reg took a ride on the town bicycle, Twyla Twyst?” Julian basically SHOUTS this at Archie.

Reggie looks very uncomfortable in the background, taking a very large gulp of coke. Dude, why did you feel the need to share any of this with Julian, of all people? “AND YOU’RE GOING BACK FOR SECONDS?”

The first person that Archie, looking like a sleazy deer in headlights that I would gladly run over with my car, makes eye contact with is Betty Cooper, sitting on the couch. She looks more and more like Alice Cooper by the second, wearing her pink and brown check pattern dress like armor.

The things that Betty says though show her in know better light than anybody else. She is no Betty Friedan, regardless of whether she used the word “mystique” for a good book title before her or not. She is peeved that boys get celebrated “for their sexual conquests” and girls get punished for “wanting the same” but this is all manner of fucked up. Prostituting a woman doesn’t mean the same thing as getting a girl to like you enough to want to have sex with you, being a super obvious point that doesn’t need to be said, but I’m going to say it because this is my blog. She’s so disgusted by Julian slow clapping that she packs up all her stuff to exit the lounge. For some reason, she’s the only girl who can hear any of this conversation - the other students in there are entirely deaf to Julian’s shouting.

As she angrily stomps out of the lounge, Betty runs smack into Cheryl, who drops all her photos. In the ensuing scramble, Betty sees one of them. It intrigues her so much she pursues the fleeing Cheryl all the way outside, to the bench, and clearly forces her to talk about the photos. Cheryl is too tired of life to put up much of a fight: “I am going steady with Toni Topaz.” Betty’s reaction - “Oh!” followed by a frown, blinking, followed by a stuttered “Well, that…m.-makes sense…” is further support for my central thesis that Betty Cooper is very, very stupid in S7. Evelyn ALREADY OUTED Cheryl and Toni to Betty in particular in that conversation they were all having about Fangs impregnating Midge. Further, I can tell that Betty doesn’t understand at all how two girls can go together - she’s being very Queen Victoria over here, she doesn’t see how that would work, which is why she says “That makese sense” because it doesn’t make any sense to her whatsoever. She’s so incorrigibly stupid, and on top of being really, really dumb, she’s also really, really vain, because she thinks she can write a book.

Cheryl has never directly come out to anyone before, so she is very worried. For Cheryl Blossom, in every universe, a good defense is the only reliable method of existence, so she double dog dares Betty to try to use it against her.

I don’t think you need to worry, Cheryl. Betty doesn’t actually understand what you’re saying.

Betty does glom on to the fact that Cheryl and Toni being together in some incomprehensible way is a secret, so she comes out with a secret of her own. She is The Girl Next Door, the writer of The Teenage Mystique.

Cheryl makes me lose all hope in life, because she not only says that she loves The Teenage Mystique but also that the Girl Next Door’s “advice is tops.” But Betty is so, so dumb Cheryl. How can she possibly be “tops” as an advisor.

They shake hands, because Cheryl finds it an honor to know The Girl Next Door.

Now they can talk business. Betty wants to know what Cheryl was going to do with the “amazing pictures.” Cheryl was going to come out “in the most unabashed way” by publishing the photos in Femme and In magazine. Um. More like, get whoever was publishing that magazine arrested by Vice for publishing indecent material featuring children, but sure, be reckless, Cheryl.

Plus, I think it’s so cowardly for Cheryl to ‘come out’ by publishing male-gaze appeasing lingerie photos of herself as a minor rather than just tell her parents and go to the crazy girl prison like all the other wayward girls do. This is not empowerment, at all. How famous is Femme and In magazine anyway? How would this even be known in the Blossom household or the circles they run in such that it would have this “blow the lid off their world” impact?

Oh no. Oh. Oh no. Betty has infected Cheryl with the stupid.

Betty immediately sees an opportunity for herself in this desperate act of Cheryl’s. She wants to include Cheryl and Toni’s story - complete with the racy photos - in her upcoming ‘book.’ Cheryl decides immediately that this would somehow be “the perfect forum for” coming out. Okay. Sure.

Betty also wants to have lingerie photos taken of herself. Cheryl is all about this, and she’s gonna get something out of it too - she gets to make another oil painting that all these people are too foolish to commission outright.

That night, someone drives up in a very swanky car, complete with a grey haired white driver, to the Babylonium, which is showing “A Star Is Born.” A sleek someone in very high heels walks into the theater.

Upstairs, Veronica is canoodling with Jughead, who has shown her his sexy teen witch art. She loves it - “this is the bee’s knees!” Jughead has simply named this character Veronica the Teenage Witch. He says that Pep Comics is in desperate need for a new character to improve readership and to get past the new censorship rules. He’s so pleased with himself, his work, and with his new girlfriend.

An extremely elated Clay comes bursting in because someone very important and unbelievable is here.

It’s Josie McCoy!

Josie’s presence is so powerful it turns Veronica right back into the drag queen she sometimes inhabits. She starts to recite Josie’s in-universe resume at her. She’s a famous chanteuse, she founded some important sounding theater company, she’s won a Tony!

Josie McCoy is Eartha Kitt. This actress is doing an AMAZING job. She channels just enough of Kitt’s interesting vocal mannerisms and accent to be a tribute without shading over into being embarrassing or camp. She says that she’s heard good things (a person who “shakes things up”) about Veronica. She’s here because she has a secret (“hush hush”) movie project. She urges Veronica to dismiss her underlings. Veronica has no qualms treating her high school friends as servants - she shoos them away. Clay scampers away with zero dignity whatsoever, but Kevin (Kevin? but yes, Kevin does this one thing correctly) looks both annoyed at this treatment (rightfully) and appears to have things he wants to say to Josie McCoy too.

Turns out this movie that Josie made was a sort of Barbra Streisand making Yentl type thing - she wrote, directed, produced and starred in it. She wants to do a test screening at the Babylonium if it turns out to be “up to her standards.” She needs to do this in Riverdale because it’s Siberia as far as the California movie industry is concerned (Veronica is so starstruck that she doesnt even seem to register this cruel blow) so that there will no risk of some studio executives “second guessing” all the creative choices.

We cut to the screening. Clay in the projection booth is verklempt. Veronica is hypnotized. Kevin has ditched his boyfriend to do all the work in the back room while he creepily has stayed in the theater itself (Hi Hateful Kev, there you are!) to inch closer to Josie. He’s up and giving a standing over before the movie is even over, looking shiftily over at the back of Josie’s head in case she notices him. Veronica however is genuinely moved. She looks like she might cry as she stands to give her own ovation.

When it’s just the two of them in Veronica’s executive suite, Veronica (the teenage witch, natch) offers the grown adult Broadway star alcohol, who accepts it without comment. Veronica of course always manages to think of making things bigger and better. Having seen the film, she now wants to upgrade from a test screening to a full blown red carpet movie premier. (Oh! Or she didn’t not notice the blow about how Riverdale is irrelevant Siberia as far as the movie industry goes from before - she just smelled a business opportunity brewing and held her tongue.)

Josie is very gracious in her refusal of this initial suggestion (“I’m still tinkering.”) Veronica doubles down, calling the movie Perfection. Josie doesn’t disagree but then says that studio executives are skittish creatures. Veronica agrees. “They are fear driven creatures.”

Well, not if the insane stuff that’s allowed to happen on the show Riverdale is any indication but maybe this is supposed to be a wink and a nod about two things - the upcoming Hollywood writers’ strike, and maybe a not so subtle attempt at trying to pacify the Riverdale fandom that surely wasn’t expecting that we would get zero true closure on any of the things that have ever happened before on the six previous seasons, nevermind continuity. (Like, randomly, for example - Reggie and Josie are both entirely new people with old faces and names.)

Josie is being a fear driven creature herself though. After negging Veronica about the town and her theater, she now negs her about Riverdale’s citizenry. Josie, you’re the one who came HERE. Nobody asked you. So why go on about whether the people in this town are ‘hep’ or needing a lay of the land?

Veronica truly loves movies though. She thinks this one is great, so she’s willing to be accommodating to the last. She offers herself and the two minion gays to be tour guides for Josie, starting bright and early at 8 a.m. Josie hoots with laughter (this laugh was fantastically done, pitch perfect, almost sung - bravo! performance is like 10000% brilliant on the alternate universe Eartha Kitt!). She snootily informs Veronica that she wakes up no earlier than 3 p.m.

Oh I wish I could live like that too!

Veronica would never have permitted such condescension from anyone we’ve seen her meet so far, but she will allow it for Josie. And because Veronica, despite having Jughead now, is still very, very lonely, she does what she always does when she has what she thinks might be a receptive person - she invites them to live with her in her big huge apartment.

I wonder also if this is meant to be a bypass of the race issue - would Josie have been able to check into just any hotel? Would she, a black woman traveling apparently alone (or with just a driver, who can hardly be expected to guard her with his life) be safe had she checked into even the most expensive hotel she’d be permitted to stay in?? What was Josie’s plan for accommodation here? Is this another test of Veronica Lodge’s acumen, to put an acceptable, dignified social gloss over uh, American apartheid?

“I like you Ms Lodge. I think we’re going to get on just fine,” Josie says, then puts her very dark sunglasses on at night indoors.

Meanwhile, SIGHHHH, Archie Andrews has brought a bouquet to the red light district (well, hallway) of Riverdale. He tries to loosen his hip flexors. When Twyla opens the door, he wants to says he was “hoping … we could see each other again.” Twyla reject him.

Did she not get paid last time? This question of HOW IS TWYLA GETTING PAID AND BY WHOM is a consistent issue that Riverdale keeps raising from her re-introduction as the prostitute. Was Archie a violent fuck? Did the boys insist on paying her a one person rate, forcing her to accept it?

WHY AM I BEING MADE TO THINK THOUGHTS LIKE THIS ABOUT ARCHIE AND REGGIE, RIVERDALE MAKERS?

I suppose it’s clear enough that Archie wants a freebie (or a series of freebies) from Twyla, which is why she cuts him off at the pass, but that still doesn’t answer the question of why she doesn’t simply ask him for money.

They keep making this direct equivalence between the porny photos the SupreFemme Dykes take and Archie attempting to be a frequent fucker of prostitutes, but I don’t understand why. I also don’t care to be informed.

Cheryl and Toni are shown going into the Cooper house with absolute suitcases full of equipment. Wearing Veronica’s lingerie and her own glasses, Betty poses for photos in her own bedroom. This is not a good way to be a camgirl, to use your actual room you use for sleep but ok. Betty does look exceptionally pretty.

The next day at school, Veronica is minding her own business, reading her book in the student lounge (Behind her are two boys in letter jackets talking to two cheerleaders), when Toni, dragging Fangs behind her like a soggy puppy, marches in (she really marches, arms swinging) to demand her attention. They’ve heard (I assume from Kevin or Clay or both, because of that special lavender double cross relationship they have with Cheryl and Toni) that Josie McCoy is in town. The only place to take her is the Dark Room (because it’s the only place that could ever be described as “hep.” Fangs will be performing, because Toni is still in the business of pretending to give a shit about Midge, the baby on the way, or Fangs’s relationship with Midge. She wants Josie to be entreated to give Fangs a boost in his pathetic attempts at a career. Veronica is willing to accommodate.

Miss Grundy has really pretty clothes this season, by the way. I especially like her embroidered cardigans. Because Twyla told him that MiLFs in town would probably like to take a bite out of a “red delicious” like himself, the poet wannabe who doesn’t know what metaphors are brings an actual red delicious apple to his teacher.

What in the actual fuck is going on with the stuff on this board:

DIVINE COMEDY?

Anti FEMINISM???

ChivalrYYYYYYYYY?

She unfortunately says that Red Delicious apples are her favorite, which, again, wouldn’t be a problem necessarily except Archie is a poet wannabe who doesn’t know what metaphors are and is allergic to subtlety. He invites Mrs Grundy to the Dark Room, to listen to him perform a poem. This is extremely bold, almost egotistical, but Grundy is indulgent. She calls Archie her favorite student, promising him that of course she will attend. He gives her the sleaziest, smuggest, “I’m going to Fuck this lady for free later” smirk before heading out. The apple he leaves glows supernaturally in between them.

As Grundy returns to work, we hear Jughead start to say “She’s bewitching, she casts spells” while we’re still looking at Mrs. Grundy’s face.

We’re in the very overstuffed rooms of Pep Comics. Jughead is trying to explain the concept of Veronica the Teen Witch to his editor. His concept is that Veronica the Teen Witch is an actual witch but “nothing harmful” and anyway she spends her time being a high school student, which to Jughead means “class, homework, romantic trouble.” He wants the whole thing to be “vampy, campy fun.”

You know, like that show Riverdale, before they had Archie Andrews prostitute a woman at half price to lose his virginity!

Jughead is dressed much snazzier than he was when Jeronica was making their debut at the steps of the high school. He’s wearing a navy striped button down shirt, open in a boy cleavage which reveals a dark t shirt underneath and he’s wearing his suspenders. Jughead’s suspenders are basically his push up bra, so we know he’s feeling himself here as he makes this presentation of “boss idea.” I bet you these were clothes Veronica put together for him.

Sadly, his editor, once burned is now twice shy. He feels that even this very wholesome sounding concept is going to have to be watered down, starting with Veronica the Teen Witch losing her cleavage, and her dark hair, and half her witchdom, and her name Veronica! The editor says that the name Veronica to him means Veronica Lake - “too sexy, too dangerous, too curvy.” Except Veronica Lake was blonde, so go figure. He orders something “sweeter and magical.”

We cut to Betty in the photo development room (these are called Dark Rooms, right?) which is in very red lightning (fuckin’ a) with Cheryl. Sweeter and magical being ordered to jump cut to Betty the blonde looking sexy in photos? Very subtle.

Betty looks gorgeous in all the photos, but she’s glum about it. She tells Cheryl that she feels a fraud because she writes about sex without experiencing “anything remotely sexually satisfying myself.”

“What do you mean?” Cheryl asks.

This - THIS IS THE PRIME opportunity, Betty, to talk about how traumatized you are from the sexual abuse (I’m just going to call it how I feel it is now, politically correct lingo be damned) you endured at Kevin’s hands (LITERALLY) for two years that your highly suspect shrink would for sure call FORMATIVE. Heal from it! Talk to another girl about it! Talk to the girl who actually tried her best to put out to her unwitting straight beard for the sake of ethics about what you endured!

But no.

Betty Cooper in S7 is too stupid.

She says only, that she is “the only teenager in the world who can’t seem to find someone to go there with me.”

You’ve tried with exactly two boys, no? One was your gay sexual abuser, and the other one is a prostituter.

Cheryl does often have a very pragmatic streak. She can’t - and doesn’t want to get involved in - finding Betty someone to ‘go there’ so instead she teaches her about masturbation. Betty says she’s heard of the concept of “self pleasure” from that Kinglsey book that she didn’t read very well (she failed to learn about human reproduction from that book) but it didn’t have enough details. Cheryl gives her the manual, which she had just handy, in the form of an article in Femme-and-In magazine. (Which indicates to me this is a zine being put together by like minded dykes, which is why sending teen nudie photos to them is going to get them sent to prison and is therefore a bad idea.)

Femme and In, October 1955 issue has the headline “The only person you need to know how to please is yourself.” Cheryl, because she knows from the How Are Babies Made talk that Betty is very dumb, keeps looking meaningfully at Betty’s crotch as she gives her the precis - get in the bath, in the bathroom, lock the door, and USE YOUR OWN HANDS. Except Cheryl’s hands are tipped with extremely long terrifying talons, so I hope Betty doesn’t think the nail art is a necessity. That should only be reserved for advanced players.

Jughead is with Veronica at her apartment (Is Josie McCoy sleeping in there right now??), and he’s told her that the Veronica Teen Witch idea got axed for being too sexy. She takes it as her due. She very much likes being compared to Veronica Lake. Jughead is worried about what new name would work, so she suggests Sabrina. Jughead really likes it.

Oh.

ohhhhh

[Depressed voice]: Hi RAS

We then cut to the Dark Room, the Whyte Wyrm perversion, where Archie is reciting a poem. I’m so sorry friends but I could not bear to listen to this poem. I tried. Three times. Possibly four. And I could not get past the words “a simple apple.” I just could not. So I fast forwarded. I could see from doing the FFW that it was not well received -not by Grundy, not by any of the other patrons. Grundy just left. Veronica is furious, and Josie is so humiliated at having to be in the same room as this idiot that you can see her soul has left her body altogether. Toni is fully nasty to Archie, shoving him off the stage as she rubs his failure in his face.

Archie deserves it but also Toni has no right to be like this.

Josie says that “if that’s what passes for art in Riverdale,” she can’t besmirch her movie with association with this blighted place. Toni is fully throwing Archie (who also ate an actual apple in his Adam and Eve allegory or whatever that was) under the bus in service of trying to put Fangs in the best light.

I tried to skip this too, but I couldn’t because I think the editors knew I would want to skip this terrible karaoke performance so they interspliced it with Betty’s First Masturbation Session. I foiled them however, and turned the volume all the way down. While Betty jacks off for the first time, Cheryl is painting her, with the aid of a very dark room (??) and dozens of distant candles. I don’t paint, but I thought painters needed to see well when they were working with colors? Oh, and Betty has also lit a lot of candles for her masturbation session as well. Everyone in the Dark Room gives Fangs a standing ovation except Josie, who just sort of smirks at him while she golf claps. We’re made to know Betty has also achieved satisfaction. Okay, so that, I am willing to applaud.

Afterwards, her confidence somewhat restored, Veronica tries to get Josie to agree that Riverdale is “hep.” Josie hated it - Fangs’ music is not her genre, she says, but then she says that Fangs has “star quality.” Veronica fully understood that Josie thinks Fangs’ music (voice, presentation, performance ) are all sub, but tries to perk up at the assessment of his telegenic appeal. Then Josie says something odd: “How is he on the bongos, do you know?”

They’re talking about sex, right? Bongo player is like, ass beater?

But then no, it turns out they literally mean bongos. Fangs is playing bongos in the background as Josie writhes around performing a very Eartha Kitt number about women being kittens or something. God I miss this actress and her wonderful musical numbers. She’s the one professional performer the Dark Room has ever seen, both in universe and on this show. She’s really too good for Riverdale (in every sense).

Veronica asks if Riverdale is good enough for “Going Uptown.” She gets a yes!

Then Toni and Clay invite Josie to a Black Athena meeting. They get a yes too!

Archie is stalking his teacher now, waiting for her in the classroom. Because he’s a creep on top of being a prostituter. He was told by a prostitute a professional sounding opinion on how best to obtain free sex, which unfortunately for Grundy describes her to a T in Archie’s book (like, who the hell else is he gonna go for in this universe? Alice Cooper is a nonstarter, and we lack a Gladys Jones here, Mayor McCoy, like - where have all the MILFs gone?!?). He wants to know why his seduction technique of reciting a terrible poem awkwardly before chomping on an apple didn’t make her stay to talk (and fuck) with him afterwards. Grundy knows now exactly what he’s saying, so she reminds him that she has a husband. Who is an actual poet.

“We need to switch gears,” she says to Archie. Behind her on the blackboard is written: “Figurative Language - metaphor, idiom, symbolism, hyperbole, personification, simile. You know, just in case you don’t get it. She means she’s never going to fuck Archie Andrews. Thank god for that. And THIS figurative language, Archie does understands. He looks upset at his poetry teacher tells him to stop writing love poems at her. She wants him to write about pain. Any sort of pain. “What is my most painful experience?” and write about that. And definitely not the pain of being horny or crushing out on your teacher. She’s brought a lovely gray cardigan with jet black beads embroidered on it.

In the art room, Cheryl is unveiling her oil painting of Betty. Betty loves it. She says it’s beautiful. Cheryl is for the first time I think we’ve seen this entire season, at physical ease with a girl that isn’t her girlfriend (with whom honestly she’s not that at ease either, sadly, unless they’re having sex). She tucks her chin adorably into Betty’s shoulder to say that the painting is beautiful because Betty is. And this is actually my favorite painting ever done by Cheryl.

Love the pink and black color scheme, love the confidence in Betty’s face. I love this warm lovely moment between them. It’s such a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, Jughead has finally achieved success with Sabrina the Teenage Witch concept art! It’s gonna be sent off for review stat! “Congratulations, kid!” Jughead is wearing a blue S shirt with a red collar and his push up bra suspenders over it. I love the color scheme of this outfit too. This has to be Veronica dressing him. Sabrina the Teen Witch is gonna save Pep Comics from the dustbins of obscurity!!

We’re now at at Very Special Session of the Black Athena club. Josie seems to wear nothing but animal prints. The population of black students at Riverdale has either exploded overnight or all these black students thought this club was dumb OR they really disliked Toni and Clay and their obsession with the white cop’s son and the white rich people’s daughter and avoided their ventures. I dunno. It’s full of black students we’ve not seen before, is my point.

Josie is very gracious, loving and warm to the students. Which is pretty adorable, but also makes me feel so worried about her. Is she ok? Oh, and of course, of COURSE, Clay interrupts Josie in the middle of her talk by making a joke, about himself. I hate Clay.

When asked how it is the Black Athena came to be, Toni gives me more reason to hate her from the way she tells the story. That black students needs their own space in 1955 (or really, now) seems indisputable. But she’s leaving out the part where Cheryl funded it, at some risk to herself, because she wanted to do the right thing. Her girlfriend funded it, wanted to sit in once, then graciously, sensibly saw herself out. But Toni doesn’t indicate ANY of those things. It also says something nasty about Toni, again, from the show - Tabitha of 1955 is on a crusade tour to the rest of apartheid america at great risk to herself, but Toni is only going to talk about her race in her white-funded space when it’s absolutely perfectly safe.

Show? Show! Get it together, omg.

In any case, Josie’s attendance of Black Athean inures to Veronica’s benefit, because now Josie wants a full on glam-fest type of movie PREMIERe and not a mere test screening. Josie also tells the story of how she got this movie made. She put every penny of her personal assets into financing it. If the movie doesn’t become a hit, she’ll be ruined for good. She did this because she made the play a hit on Broadway, won a Tony, but then the movie version was going have her written out and replaced by Lana Turner. She started this project out of spite. I think I have to assume this will work out gangbusters then, because spite fueled projects often have a lot of momentum and energy.

Veronica reacts with empathy, and not annoyance, as I would have. Which is why she’s a good businesswoman. Josie didn’t actually mind that both Archie and Fangs sucked ass at the talent night - she needed the test screening to be “in the sticks” in a racially mixed town (which Riverdale supposedly is) so that she could reassure the “fear driven” movie executives the film deserved a profit earning wide distribution. She aggressively put Veronica through the ringer in order to make sure Riverdale was low-brow Middle America enough to be a valid testing ground for this film.

This movie is going to have to “explode like an atomic bomb” because Josie McCoy knows she’s a movie star, she’s made a great movie, and she deserves a fair shake.

This is barely 10 years after Nagasaki and Hiroshim and as a Korean person I admire the discipline of the Japanese for doing business with people like this who nuked them (and only them and because they weren’t white) and then freaked themselves out and introduced phrases like this making light of the entire thing into their own language.

Again, the performance of this monologue is FANTASTIC. This actress is top notch. Where is the Josie tv show, RAS? Can we get Sweet Pea back, RAS? And Valery? Hey? RAS?!

Veronica says that she will throw such an awesome premiere that there will be a bidding war.

Fangs is telling the now visibly pregnant Midge that he’s met the great Josie McCoy who is going to get him hooked up. Midge looks desperate, smiling through misery, and I hate everything about this. I hope she miscarries, was my original evil thought, but she’s too pregnant now and there’s no way these satanic nuns would save her if they thought the baby was gonna die.

Sadly for Jughead, the censorship panel rejected Sabrina. His push up bra suspenders should’ve been in the room to make a case for her. His editor is sadly slumped about it. “You came up with something fun and whimsical and all they saw was witches, Satanism, hocus pocus and human sacrifices.”

I assume this is RAS talking about some portion of the critical and/or hostile reaction to his Sabrina the Teen Witch show. I didn’t watch it and I will not, so I don’t know, but despite a seasoned actor delivering it well, the clunky winky-wink of this line landed like a frozen turd. Jughead is very very crushed. He runs directly to Veronica at her apartment. She offers him an alcoholic drink, which he immediately declines (!!!!). She’s wearing a dress that looks like it’s made of black plastic bags. He’s so sad about what’s going to happen to Pep Comics. He thinks it’s going to sink.

Veronica very kindly lets him off the hook for the premiere. He doesn’t have to come socialize if he’s not in the mood. “Are you kidding? This is probably the only chance I’ll ever be invited to a Hollywood premiere.” They had Cole Sprouse say this on the Riverdale show.

Anyway, Jughead says he definitely wants to go, but he’s worried he doesn’t have the right clothes. My theory that Veronica has been picking out his outfits for him I think gets boosted by her revealing that she had a tuxedo customized to his measurements (When did she have time to measure him without his knowing? Has Veronica lost her virginity to Jughead Jones while we were being tortured with Archie Fucks a Prostitute side plot??). “Nothing but the best for my flutter bum,” she says. He is so grateful, and she gives him a little cheek pinch. I love this dynamic. Why am I getting it only in the last four episodes of the show.

Archie sits down with a photo of his dad to write about his pain. I wish I cared but I don’t.

Josie is laying her hands in cement for the premiere. There’s lots of press and people there. Jughead as the date of the theater owner gets to hang out, leaning while looking snazzy in his custom black suit, while all the other boys (the prostituters Archie and Reggie, and the egomonster gays Clay and Kevin) have to be ushers. Jughead is completely unstarstruck by Josie, whatsoever. He only looks at and listens to Veronica. He’s really there for the movie. There’s a very important movie critic in the house too.

The movie starts.

And then the projection fails as the film melts on screen to a halt.

If they hadn’t bothered showing me that in fact Clay and Kevin did manage to thread the projector and make it work properly for Veronica’s private viewing of the movie I would’ve had something different to say, but this just seems like an accident.

Clay and Kevin are trying to fix it. Veronica freaks out. “You two are the worst projectionists in the world! You’re fired, WE’RE NO LONGER FRIENDS, and -and from now on you’ll be paying full price for movie tickets!”

This is the first time I think I’ve ever seen Veronica act like an actual 17 year old in the past seven years of this show. This is extremely funny. The ‘Oh good god, I forgot you were 17!’ look that Josie gives Veronica about this ‘firing the projectionists in the middle of a premier’ is even funnier. Josie takes control. People start to leave, as Clay tells her that it will take about five minutes. Josie decides to put on a show to save the er, show.

We get another fabulous Eartha Kitt (I assume this is Eartha, but also she’s the only one I know) song performance. Even Jughead looks transported. “I invented myself!” This is quite the lyric. Everything about this is so upscale. Beautifully done. (And in retrospect, what a tawdry sad little show Polly Amorous is putting on nightly. Sad.).

After everyone has gone home, Veronica reports back to Josie about what the Wall St. Journal is going to say about Josie’s very important movie. “An atomic bomb exploded in Riverdale!” is one of the sentences. They keep saying this - radioactive, atomic bomb - in this episode. Please no. Please please please no no no - don’t go there, don’t do this (But I’ve seen the gifsets from American fandom, I know they go there and do that.). The review is such a rave that Josie starts crying.

“I’m not dreaming?” she asks Veronica.

Veronica is so generous and kind. She says it’s already happened, because Josie was always a star. Her bet for her own business also worked out really well. And alpha recognizes alpha because Josie asks if Veronica isn’t just treading water in Riverdale, managing a theater, when what she should be doing (as a 17 year old high school student) is making movies. Veronica’s eyes light up, which Josie sees, and comments on. She wants to work together with Veronica again.

Archie comes home from his exciting night at the movie theater to find that Uncle Frank is reading the poem he was working on about his pain about his father. The poster on Archie’s wall says, “Fly Home Today.” Yeah, seriously, Uncle Frank, fuck off. All that Archie’s poem says is that his dad is dead. For some reason, Frank freaks the fuck out. He rips up the poem after screaming. He forbids Archie from writing about Fred being dead “like that again.” Is this a genetic problem that both Andrews guys have, this inability to comprehend?

#riverdale episode recap #riverdale s7

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