#things i grew up with vs things my mom grew up with and showed me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bleakbluejay · 7 months

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I did one of these. This is still missing a lot of my favorite movies but I think it gets my brain across. I like to laugh. Under the cut I'll talk more about each selection, if you care to read :3

Feel free to do this yourself and tag me! I love to see what my mutuals are thinking.

Favorite Film/Big Personal Impact/Bad Day Cure: Better Off Dead (1985) is my favorite movie ever. It's a dark comedy about a teen boy named Lane Meyer who, devastated after his girlfriend breaks up with him for someone hotter, tries to kill himself. He fails every time. His friends (the French exchange girl Monique and the weirdo who snorts jell-o Charles de Mar) help him build his confidence in himself and get over her. The sense of humor in this movie is impeccable. It's so surrealist in a time long before surreal comedy became as prominent as it is now. Honest to god, if this movie came out today (with a few mild tweaks, given some social sensibilities between now and then having changed) it would be a total fucking hit. 100% chance if you message me saying "hey I'd like to try out Better Off Dead" I will find time to watch it with you. This movie has had insane impact on my sense of humor and how I see the world.

Best Script: I don't know if I've ever heard a script I've really liked or thought was flawless. All my movies actually have a lot of awkwardness in them. The best script I can think of is Forrest Gump, if we're talking overall quality. Script I like the most is a tie between Better Off Dead, The Lost Boys, and Moulin Rouge.

Favorite Movie Poster: This was a very hard one. My knee-jerk reaction was to select Star Wars OT (either ESB or ROTJ), Indiana Jones (the 3rd one), Back to the Future (any of them), or Adventures in Babysitting. I honestly just love old 80s movie posters in general. I settled on The Thing (1982) because I love the eerieness and stark, simple colors and shapes. It's also my favorite horror movie in general, but there' no slots based on individual genres.

I'll Watch It Some Day: Blade Runner (1982) and Sin City (2005) have been on my watch lists for a very, very long time. I want to watch more noir-typed films, especially ones with gimmicks that mess with visuals (cyberpunk in Blade Runner, and comics in Sin City). I'm so, so bad at watching movies, though LMAO

Best Long Movie (3+ hours): I'd rather roll around in a sea of broken glass than watch a 3 hour long movie. 2.5 hours is my limit. I like Forrest Gump (1994) a lot and I watch it every time I catch it on cable. However... if we're counting limited series that could be interpreted as movies... Color of Magic (2008) is really fucking good. It's split into two parts, with the overall runtime reaching 3 hours. But the fact it's split up feels better on my brain.

You Like, But Everyone Else Hates: 50 First Dates (2004)... I know Adam Sandler is bad. I know. I know. But. This movie is a guilty pleasure for me, as are a couple other of his movies. I know if taken literally and in the real world, this movie is creepy. But I like romantic comedies. I think it's sweet he loves her so much and wants to make it work. And I love Drew's character a lot, too. In a way, I also love how this movie challenges relationships that are "meant to be" -- given how Drew's character is only interested sometimes but hates him others. It puts into perspective "right time, right place/wrong time, wrong place". Leave me alone.

You Hate, But Everyone Else Likes: How to Train Your Dragon (2010) isn't necessarily a bad movie. I had the misfortune of being a 12-13 year old who really liked the books this movie steals its name from, and being an amputee myself. Something about how they totally butchered the story I really loved, and something about how they just decided to make Hiccup an amputee just like that, it rubbed me, personally, the whole ass wrong way. I can't bring myself to like this movie. It is what it is.

Underrated: Shaun of the Dead (2004) rocks hard and fast. It's silly and funny and has incredibly fun cinematography and I associate this movie with me and my mom watching it together in our shared room when I lived in the swamp ass of the United States, Missouri, so I'm extra sentimental about it. There's so many really solid jokes. In general, I love Edgar Wright films, and I love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost films, so together it just makes me go yippeeeee!!!

Overrated: Being a horror fan who doesn't like Halloween (1978) kinda sucks sometimes. I think it does beautiful things with lighting and shadow and camera, and I respect how it influenced horror as a whole genre. But I think the movie is boring as hell and isn't really that good as an overall movie. Watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre instead.

"Why do I like this?": My grandfather showed me Robin Hood (1938) while I visited him this summer. I typically hate older movies because my attention span is terrible. But I liked this one. I loved the costuming and the sets and I loved Errol Flynn as Robin Hood and I loved the colors and all of it. I was having the time of my life. I want to emphasize again how much I love the costuming. I love medieval shit so much that I want to throw up, and having the grace to allow medieval costumes to be relatively accurate (with creative liberties) and colorful? Oh my god. The embroidery on the outfits, dude. Ohhh my god.

Great Soundtrack: I watched Valley Girl (1983) for the first time with my mom like last week and I adored it. I grew up listening to the soundtrack, though, because it was one of my mom's favorites. It's really my style. Honorable mentions for this category are also Garden State (2004) (I didnt watch this, my mom just had the soundtrack CD in her car), and Moulin Rouge (2001), which we'll get into shortly.

That Cinematography...: In an effort to avoid mentioning Edgar Wright movies an extra time (Scott Pilgrim, Shaun of the Dead, and Last Night in Soho have very honorable mentions here)... Fight Club (1999) was so fun visually. It was punchy and wicked and it felt like living in a comic book to me. Vamp (1986) is a movie I saw last week with my mom so it's fresher in my head, but I really loved so many of the shots and the lighting choices. Two scenes in particular stand out to me: 1st, when the strip club ghouls are sitting in their dark office, with green light cast from the blinds shining on them; 2nd, when our protagonist is winding back a bow and arrow with which to kill our antagonist in the sewer, and a shaft of light hit the fletching of the arrow, I was hooting and hollering.

Favorite Protagonist: Picking just one was impossible. Lane Meyer from Better Off Dead (1985) is a psychotic, depressed, emotionally imbalanced teenager with an amazing sense of play and lessons to learn. Simon from Dinner in America (2020) is a blunt, feral, possibly autistic punk kid with a love of fire and a love of beating ableist ass. Ellen Ripley from Alien (1979) is played by Sigourney Weaver, which is a plus in itself, but she's a capable, badass woman who is intelligent and cunning. AND she makes sure to save the cat. Honorable mentions include Quentin Smith from Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) for being my specialist boy, Indiana Jones from Indiana Jones (1981-2023) for being a silly guy who inspired me to look into archaeology as a kid and also punches nazis, Donnie Darko from Donnie Darko (2001) for being another psychotic, depressed, emotionally imbalanced teenager with an amazing sense of play and lessons to learn, and Han Solo from Star Wars (1977-2015) for being stupid and cringefail and funny and a true hero against the Empire.

Favorite Trilogy: Asking me to pick between Star Wars the Original Trilogy and Indiana Jones is an impossible task, dude. They occupy the exact same place in my brain. They were both series that I grew up watching since I was old enough to look at a TV screen, and that influenced my whole sense of self. And they both have Harrison Ford, who is one of my favorite actors. They both have adventure and romance and father problems and a call to corruption we must reject and supernatural forces. They just occupy the same part of my brain.

Biggest Letdown: I watched Bram Stroker's Dracula (1992) like two days ago and it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I thought it would be good because it was hyped up, it's full of actors I adore, it's about vampires, it's goth as hell. But other than the beautiful camerawork and special effects and stuff, I just wanted it to end. I was bored at best and disgusted at worst.

Biggest Surprise: When Dinner in America (2020) came out, it didn't find American distribution for a long time. But... I was in a very strong Kyle Gallner phase kickstarted by Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) and Cherry (2010). The idea that he was in a punk love story got my hackles up. Eventually, I was able to see the movie, and it was nothing I thought it would be, but it was perfect for me. I fell in love with it. It's a very surprising movie.

"Not the best, but I'm having fun"/Depressing Movie: Moulin Rouge (2001) had my brain in a twist from ages 12-15. I watched this movie over and over and over, to the point I knew half the script by heart. I was in love with the characters, the movement, the pacing, the story, the music. As I got older, I became more aware that the movie kinda sucks. But I still love it regardless. It's an incredibly fun movie. When it isn't ripping your heart out. I love you Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman. Mwah.

Criminally Overlooked: I love you Lost Boys (1987). I love you SoCal 80s fashion. I love you punk vampires. I love you filthy city aesthetic. I love you grandpa. I love you saxophone man. I love you kids thinking they're badass vampire hunters. I love you milfs.

Favorite Active Director: Edgar Wright rocks lmao. I love his style of scene transitions and camera movement. Nobody does it like him. Any time I'm watching one of his movies, I can fucking tell. I'm a simple guy, you put moving pictures in front of me and it's fun and colorful, I'll clap my hands and holler.

Favorite Animated Movie: This is hard. I picked two. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002) was one of my favorite movies as a kid. It had horses, good music, it's the wild west, and prominent Native protagonists (which were rare when I was a kid...). As an adult, I could recognize more what an awesome movie it was and what a great story about colonialism and fighting back against assimilation it was. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) is one of the most visually beautiful films I've ever seen. I was totally lost in the animation the whole movie. I think when I see the next in the series, undoubtedly even more beautiful, my eyes will melt and my head will explode, as though I were viewing the Ark of the Covenant in Indiana Jones, beholding something that should never be beheld. There's a lot of honorable mentions to possibly put here, like Ice Age (2002), or The Last Unicorn (1982), or Venture Bros: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (2023), or Lilo & Stitch (2002), or Brother Bear (2003), or Over the Hedge (2006), or Balto (1995) or... the list goes on. As a kid, I was disabled and stayed inside most of the time, so I watched a lot of movies and TV, and have a lot of things I liked.

Not Usually My Thing, But...: Phantom of the Opera (1990) is so... different. They took a lot of creative liberties with the stories and the characters in this one, and I really like those creative liberties. I don't really like Phantom of the Opera. But I like this. I watched it because I was in the middle of a Game of Thrones rewatch, and I was really admiring Charles Dance, and my best friend is a Phantom fan, so I compromised between my special interest and theirs. Charles Dance is an incredible Phantom, in my opinion. I like how in this version, he feels like more of an overly supportive gay best friend to Christine than an obsessed stalker lover. I also love the costumes.

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punkeropercyjackson · 4 months

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I cannot fucking get over how the Pjo fandom depunkified(for lack of a better term)Percy.Keyword being 'how'-Because in canon,Percy is an actual punk.He grew up poor,getting bullied for being neurodivergent and with an abusive stepdad due to his birth dad abandoning him so that lead to him developing an attitude as a coping mechanism and hating rich people and other privilged groups because he knows from experience how awful they are most of the time but another thing it did to him was making him incredibly kind to minorities especially and a Team Parent to the ones younger than him(those being Nico and Hazel in his case).And i know for a fact that if Rick didn't hate Perachel almost as much as the fandom does,he would've written him as also going to protests and doing charity work with Rachel

But the fandom dosen't ONLY pretend that none of those are traits of his but also says he's punk for headcanons that are either not canon or straight up contradicted by it.He dosen't want to be a god and finds the thought actively distressing because he's scared of his powers and hates authority.The only reasons he treated Nico badly in Hoo and wasn't the Team Mom of the Seven instead of Hazel was that Rick retconned how much he loved him as a brother in the og series because he wanted to torment his first gay character and to adultify his first darkskin black fem mc.He's not a stereotypical guy,he thinks hypermasculinity is gross and weird(see his descriptions of and interactions with Ares)and has a deep respect for all the different women in the franchise,which includes gnc ones.He dosen't dress grunge,he barely got outfit descriptions in the books and when he did,they were just normal clothes.And he's not even a skater boy,him skating was mentioned exactly once in the entire saga and it was in Sea of Monsters,when he was 13 and that book came out over ten years ago,and Piper saying he looks like one dosen't count for jackshit because she also thought she was straight at the time and it showed in her ideas of gender as shown by the Jasiper vs Jeyna fiasco

How'd y'all take a canon punk protagonist and throw away the traits that make them punk to go 'No,actually,they're punk because of these things i THINK are what punk is because i've never read up on it's history and headcanon them to have!!!'.It's making me go fucking insane,my Percy stan ass who's been exactly like him since i was a kid should ask y'all for reperatitions over this(Also:When i say fake punk traits,i'm including being a Harry Potter/Marauder's Era fan and a Switfie,that's like the basics of Poser Punk)

@desi-pluto @jelmet @jellyjays @leo-thecactus @moonage-gaydream @insomniac-jay @julieemarine @floof-ghostie @honeypotsworld @cottoncandyteeth @biandbored @mik3stuff

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kelseytheballerina · 8 months

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Heyy so Starting by being straight up and admitting that envy is an ugly habit I have. I see people who grew up with money living their best life and I get hurt and mad because I'm working my ass off just trying to get by, or I see an attractive woman and feel like crap. Its something I'm recognizing as a problem and I want to stop. I saw a post where you said something about being inspired and motivated by women who are better off/more successful/prettier/etc instead of comparing and getting jealous. How do you actually put that into practice and acheive that mindset?

totally, so basically I would just look at it as inspiration and proof of an outcome. a lot of our desires can be based on theory. the possibility of having this or going there or excelling in this way. but we don’t technically know if we could pull it off or if it’s ever been done before with a specific set of conditions, so our goals and desires are just a theory. for example, maybe you desire to be a mom-model-actress-ceo under 25 and you see a woman literally become just that. I wouldn’t be like “grrrr how dare she have what I want” I would be happy that I now have proof that what I want is in the realm of possibility and there is a path that has been laid out should I choose to use hers as a blueprint. people will likely be more accepting of me doing the same thing since there’s already been someone who has come before me and been successful. plus, now you could have a potential peer who becomes a potential friend when you are in the same circle. when it comes to beauty, there’s so many girls out there being unapologetically into beauty care so now people won’t be weirded out when I start showing up with nails and hair and cute clothes because they have helped break down the taboo. so it’s more of an appreciation for them trailblazing a path or showing time and time again that something is possible and here’s what it looks like for a 35 year old and a 60 year old and a 19 year old and a white American and a black American and a Nigerian Brit and so on and so forth. it’s inspirational data.

it’s like, I now know I’m not crazy and my aspirations are attainable at least to a degree (factoring in variables like where you’re born and parents you’re born to, etc) so all I have to do is stay on track and I’ll be there too some day. when I’m studying over and over and wondering if this is even real and then I see a classmate got an A, I feel better knowing that I’m not screaming into the void and that the outcome I seek is actually a reality. I no longer feel like I’m rowing in open water of uncharted territory. this land has been conquered before and that’s great! so maybe I won’t get skin exactly like hers but I’ll get close. maybe I won’t get her salary at the same age she did but even if I have to work an extra 5 years I’ll be glad I was inspired by her to keep going. maybe you didn’t consider the possibility of having certain things until you saw that woman with it and now your mindset has been expanded to have more out of life.

I feel like when you’re envious, there’s a part of you deep down that will secretly wish for someone’s downfall, even if you’re friends with them because it’s a “me vs you and there can only be one” mentality. which means you’ll be likely to think everyone else is secretly out to get you too or the world is conspiring against you when it’s nothing of the sort. but when you have an “I’m happy for you and patiently waiting my turn” mentality, you’re more likely to see the blessings happening to you in action, you’re more likely to be a positive person around such women and they’d more likely want to be around you and help you come up with them rather than feeling some sort of repressed hater energy.

I always just remember that none of us are on the same timeline and not everyone peaks at the same age. some are late bloomers, some have more barriers in the way, but that just means you will end up being someone else’s inspiration one day when they find interest in your variables and outcome. let your journey be what it will be and keep your mind open to the wisdom you’re collecting along the way. if it took you 3 years to clear your skin up, you’ll have waaaay more insight on the topic than someone who’s only ever experienced the occasional breakout and let’s say you wanted to turn that into a skincare YouTube channel or something, you’d have more success than someone with nothing to say. what I mean by that is, sometimes the ones with the long journeys that feel unfavorable in the moment end up blooming into an unforeseen opportunity in the future.

envy is never worth it. it just makes the journey more miserable than it needs to be and pushes people away.

#ask

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tyrantisterror · 3 months

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My Personal History with My Good Friend, Satan

My first encounter with The Devil - that I can remember, at least - came when I was about three or so. My mom liked to borrow VHS tapes from libraries to show me and my siblings a lot, and one of the libraries she used was the one at our church. It was a small and obviously very religion-centric collection, but it left a notable mark on me - like, that's where I saw this weird, kinda shitty cartoon version of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe which might be responsible for irreconcilably fucking up my taste in women? I just have this distinct memory of watching the scene where Edmund is tempted by the White Witch and thinking, "Yeah, he's making the right call." If anything I was frustrated that he hesitated - three year old me was already simping for this woman. Just imagine a child channeling Ernie Hudson in Ghostbusters and growling, "When a terrifying and beautiful woman offers you candy and a private sleigh ride, you say YES!" and that's basically me as a kid.

Where was I? Right, Satan. So, the other video from that library I remember was this cartoon retelling of Bible stories, and really I just remember the Adam and Eve part. The temptation scene had this huge, super gnarly-looking demonic red snake in it, and he was so cool and badass and I was already predisposed to like snakes anyway, so of course he was my instant favorite. But, like almost all media featuring reptiles that captured my little child heart, he turned out to be the bad guy - literally The Devil, in this case - and was punished at the end of the story. And that pissed me off.

Sometime shortly thereafter - or at least that's how I remember it, this was over thirty years ago so things might be smushed closer together than they really were by the fog of ages - some of the kids in my preschool chastised me for liking snakes. "Don't you know the devil is a snake? Snakes are evil!" I remembered the movie, and it made me angry.

Because snakes aren't evil, and as a kid I knew that because my parents taught me it. Snakes were just animals, they don't know right from wrong, and to call them evil it to judge them for what they are, not what they do. That experience taught me a very important lesson: The Devil is a tool to make people hate the innocent. And as I'd later learn, snakes were far from the only innocents people would vilify because of a demonic association.

The second time I met the devil came a few years later, when I was six or seven or so. My Grampa and Grams liked to take us up North to Mackinac City and the Upper Peninsula each summer, and I have a lot of fond memories of those trips, but there was one in particular that's relevant to this discussion. We saw a sign for a "laser light show" in the shopping district, and I got to stay up late to see it with my family. The show in question was basically a cartoon projected into the night sky adapting the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia. It was super primitive and hokey and cornball and terrible and I loved every second of it. I was enchanted, absolutely delighted with the spectacle and the silly song where the devil was less a force of evil and more a comically bumbling inept supervillain - one of my favorite archetypes, even back then. So that's the second lesson about the devil I learned: The Devil can be fun sometimes.

Now, Godzilla, one of the few reptile characters I encountered as a kid who didn't end up a villain (at least not in the first movie of his I saw, Godzilla vs. Megalon), had already set me on the path to loving monsters of all stripes and, by extension, horror fiction in general, so as I grew up I had many more encounters with the devil. But while I warmed up quickly to most monster archetypes, like vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc., I always felt dismissive of demons. It kind of coincided with me becoming disillusioned with Christianity as a whole, in fact. A story about fighting evil, Christian-style demons is ultimately an allegory for fighting evil as defined by Christianity, and Christianity's definition of what evil is, well, sucks. It's bad! They got some things right, but some things horribly wrong. The devil is the tool Christianity uses to make you hate the innocent, and I struggled to enjoy a lot of demon stories because of that. Still do with some, in fact.

There were exceptions, of course - I loved The Evil Dead series as soon as I saw it at too-early-of-an-age, but then, the demons in it aren't super Christian. They aren't repelled by holy water or crucifixes or prayer, and in fact God and Jesus barely get mentioned in the series and never come up as a potential solution. They're kind of secular as demons go, and maybe that made them easier to stomach. But overall, demons ranked pretty low in the hierarchy of monsters to me - they were too tainted by the religion that spawned them for me to enjoy.

Until college, anyway. I quietly renounced my faith during my Freshmen year, and then, as if seeking one last chance at redemption in my eyes, the devil came to me again the following year. That's when I had a class on Medieval literature, and was exposed to far older devil stories than I had ever seen before. And Medieval devils kick ass. They have so much more personality and variety than I had come to expect, and some are downright affable, even sympathetic to a degree. It was one of many moments in college when I realized there was much more to a topic I'd previously written off as boring and trite.

This is when I read Dante's The Divine Comedy and Milton's Paradise Lost and Marlowe's Faust and Ben Johnson's The Devil Is An Ass. It's when I read early Gothic Horror novels like Matthew Gregory Lewis's The Monk, and dived into The Twilight Zone, which has more than a few episodes that are updates of medieval-style devil folktales in a more modern (i.e. 1960's) setting. And so many of these works presented the Devil not as a stand-in for everything Christianity hates, but as a person - a deeply flawed person, yes, but a person with actual wants and feelings and thoughts of his own, a person who was interesting and compelling - and sometimes funny, and sometimes charming, and sometimes really sad. There was, dare I say... sympathy for the devil growing in my heart.

In the last year of my undergraduate studies, I attended my college's yearly Medieval Studies Congress, where people from all over the world came to Kalamazoo just to share their research papers on medieval history and literature. One girl's thesis paper was on the subject of "rueful devils," i.e. depictions of demons in literature where they wanted to repent their sins and redeem themselves, which uniformly ended with the devils' hopes being dashed as they could not fully repent. This idea... possessed me. The idea that the devil could repent, or at least try to - that there could be hope even in the most debauched sinner. It was such a good narrative trope in my eyes - why did it die out centuries ago?

Well, because the church didn't like it, you see. If the devil can repent - if the Absolute King of Evil can choose to become a good person - then he's not very useful as a tool to make people hate the innocent anymore. The devil MUST be "pure evil" to work as intended. A rueful devil, a repentant devil, a devil that can be redeemed, forces us to be more forgiving and kind. It forces us to be better. It prevents us from hating people because an old book says so. And some people just couldn't have that, and so the trope died.

...

After I got my bachelor's degree, I entered the job market and, after applying to fifty different places or so, was finally hired as a high school english teacher about two weeks before the school year started. Said school year was the worst year of my life. Like, I've had extreme self loathing issues and suicidal ideation since, like, sixth grade, but holy shit it was NEVER as bad as it was in that nine month stretch between 2012 and 2013. There was this bridge I had to cross on the way to work each morning, and about two months in the job was so stressful that part of my morning routine was thinking, "You know, if I just swerve to the right, this can all be over and I'll never have to worry again." About halfway in I began drastically losing weight despite not changing my diet or getting more exercise and it was so traumatic that to this day whenever my weight starts to drop my initial reaction is dread rather than excitement. I impulse bought the first two Kung-Fu Panda movies and, after watching each for the first time and crying hideously, proceeded to watch them on repeat for an entire weekend while sobbing myself hoarse for reasons I couldn't comprehend at the time.

I was in Hell. And the devil met me there.

I started writing a story during that year. I didn't get very far, just a couple chapters, but it was one of the few things that gave me a sense of accomplishment. Despite all the stress and sadness and misery, I made something. It was a story about demons, and Hell, and trying to make your life better even when the world around you seems deadset on making you suffer as much as possible.

When my bosses called me into their office at the end of that year and told me that I had to quit my job so the assistant principal could take my teaching position and survive the downsizing they'd get next year, and that if I didn't quit they'd give me the lowest teacher evaluation they could and make it supremely difficult for me to get hired elsewhere... I was relieved. I'd been let out of Hell. After a handful of months left to finish out the year, I was free.

And then I went home, with nothing. No job, no desire to pursue the career for which I'd spent five years and an ungodly amount of money getting a degree to pursue, no nest egg, nothing. Nothing except a few chapters of a book.

The years that followed were hard. I did a lot of temp work, it took me a very long time to find something that worked for me. I may have left the worst year of my life, but there was still a lot of misery waiting for me. And through it all, I felt the need to accomplish... something, ANYTHING. I had to make something to prove I had a reason to exist, even if it was something that only had value to me.

With three years of work, those chapters became my first novel, No Sympathies: A Tale of Those Who Trespass Against Us. It was about the devil, and Hell, and finding salvation even when things seem inescapably bleak. It was my first novel, and now, eight years later, it's the first of five.

The devil saved my life. He saw me at my lowest, lifted me up, whispered, "It'll be ok. You have to keep going. I'll be with you, but you have to keep going," and goddammit, he kept me from swerving right.

That's when I learned the greatest truth about the devil, at least to me. The devil is a tool to make people hate the innocent, yes, this is true, but because of that, the devil can be a savior for the broken, the beaten, and the damned. You can feel like you're worthless, wretched, and doomed. But if the devil can rise from Hell, if the devil can choose to change, if people are willing to pray for the one sinner who needs it most - then there's hope for you too, isn't there?

Demons are creatures of rebellion - against God, against nature, against the powers that be, against doom and damnation itself. They were made to be a tool to hurt the innocent, but that's not what they have to be. Devils can lift us up, because no matter how far you fall, no one can say whether it's the end for you except you.

...I would like to point out that I am being figurative here. The devil does not literally exist, at least not in my view of things. He's a fictional character, nothing more. But he's a prolific fictional character, and how we portray him can say so much about us. And, to me, he is a dear friend, despite being imaginary, because the devil was there for me when I was low, and it was on his wings that I rose from doom.

...again, figuratively, not literally.

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chaifootsteps · 2 months

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Ok, I know She-ra reboot wasn't your fandom, but you allowed allows to rant about it in your ask box, which I thank you for.

So, we all come from different cultures and have different beliefs. We can't all collectively agree on what Adora and Catra are to each other. But we will take some facts. So, they were two orphans that grew up in a foster home environment and had the same foster mother, but we all know they saw Shadow Weaver was a literal mother, they just never explicitly called her mom. Now, one thing was is that Catra and Adora were very close as children and growing up, that Adora being the sweetheart she was always tried to include Catra even when Catra pushed her away. Catra is a cat girl so she slept by Adora's feet, they apparently even showered together? (Idk how true that is, I think someone who worked on the show said that, I don't remember it being in or mentioned in the show, if anyone wants to come enlighten me) ok, so we get it. They were very close growing up.

Ok, now here's my gripe with the trope. So ND Stevenson revealed early on that Catradora would be end game. A lot of people had their beef with that, especially since some felt the show didn't show any character growth for their romance. So they end up together at the end, they kiss and credits roll.

So, I looked it up. The trope doesn't exactly have a name? But it's "we were very close as children, got separated for a bit, but we reunited to date now", yeah a mouth full. I wouldn't call it childhood romance tbh. I've seen this trope used in other shows and media. I don't like that trope. More examples are star vs the forces of evil, but you know, we'd had to watch Star and Marco be with other people first. But it's different since they met at 14 and 15 and were roommates for a bit before Star returned to Mewni for a bit and they kissed before the finale.

There's a lot of animes with this trope too. Kizaiver, Your Lie in April, Blue Spring Ride, A Silent Voice. Sorry, just tried naming some popular animes from the top of my head.

Ok, I don't understand this trope. I'm sorry, I just don't find it realistic. When I've seen "real life" examples, turns out they just had history together in 8th grade and sat at different tables never speaking to each other, but met at 26 and got married later. Ok sorry, this is weirdly specific. Just I feel like this trope isn't real or applicable to real life. I feel like some people just want to emphasize and put importance to their relationship in a way that's not true or wasn't there.

So here's how it applies to HB. So Viv really saw some cute fanart and incorporated and changed the story up for it????

Ok???? But like....the ship is still so bad....

It just feels so forced and feels like she went this way cause she saw it a few times in other works.

Ok, sorry for the rant. I just truly feel like some creators pull stuff out of their ass to try making us ship bad ships.

Thanks for the insight into Catradora. I think regardless of how two characters meet, whether they knew each other as kids or not, it's not going to be a good ship if the writing isn't there.

Honestly I think Stolitz was never going to feel natural or sincere -- why none of her canon ships ever really do -- because Vivzie doesn't seem to get why one human being loves another. Her understanding of it stalled early on in her yaoi fic days and never went anywhere beyond that. They're gay, that's enough for Viv.

#Anonymous #actual blog post #viv stuff #stolitz critical

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httyddragonfox · 3 months

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Hazbin Hotel: Christianity slams vs My Defense

Let's get one thing straight first: I'm a fan of the show. It has an awesome person with my own sexuality in the cast (Alastor). It's not a constant string of dark humor and cussing and actually has a well concocted story with well built characters, unlike south park and family guy.

Of course...I am a christian. I've seen so people react to this that say "This is why Christianity is awful!" Ah ha ha...

I feel like I need to defend myself.

Yes, some branches of Christianity are very bigoted, strict, bias, and just horrible. I don't like associating with those people.

First of all: I'm protestant.

There's catholic and protestant.

Catholic believe in the trinity, and strict following of the bible and church going, of course they also believe the pope is someone who's word is god send, and do whatever their priests say will absolve them of their sins and get them and get them into heaven.

Protestants formed because they believed that people don't have the right to judge or absolve us, only god has that power. They are more believers of following religion and being devout on your own terms, that's why everyone has their own bible to read. Praying is more select and can be done whenever, anything to connect us to god.

Now for the sub branch, as some sub-branches of Protestantism are still pretty strict (I'm looking at you, 'god-fearing baptists')

My branch is called 'the United,' formed when several branches merged into one church. It's mainly Presbyterianism with some stuff added on, I still think Presbyterianism can be a bit strict, that's why I like my branch so much.

My branch considers you apart of the community even if you don't go to church all the time. They won't be mad at you if you don't go to sermons. You're allowed to pray at your own leisure and your own preference, I usually just give a dinner prayer every night.

They like it when you ask questions, because our main teaching is that the bible is interpretive. It was written a long time ago by people who had different views than we do today.

Our branch is super accepting of others, we don't even discuss the prospect of going to hell, so I'm starting to think we don't believe in it. If one is suffering, we don't blame them for their own suffering, we teach them god will still be there for them in their darkest moments.

Yes, my church is called the trinity, but I'm not sure how much we believe in it as we don't talk about it much. I grew up thinking Jesus was just God's son, like a demigod. Yeah, Jesus saved us, but we were taught he saved us from the strict society at the time who would kill people for the slightest moral wrong.

I grew up thinking the devil had nothing to do with the fall of man and it was just a snake being a jerk. I grew up thinking the devil and Satan worked for god to test people's faith and thus were not bad.

We don't uphold all the sacraments, just the bread and "wine" and Communion, not to mention baptism (it's not to save us from sin, it's to welcome us into the church. We don't believe in original sin).

My branch is about unconditional love and acceptance, taking religion in your own stride. We are taught to be a good person, that's all that matters. The commandments are an important lesson, (i.e. don't kill, don't steal, no adultery, don't lie, respect your parents and authority, ex).

Yeah my church upheld COVID laws, but that's because they didn't want their congregation getting sick. My mom and dad are pissy about it because they're anti government. I still have faith in them though.

TL;DR, People in the Hazbin hotel community say Christianity is the worst and full of bigoted, bias hypocrites. Don't hate on me please, because my church does preach unconditional love and acceptance.

#hazbin hotel #christianity #jesus #devil #satan #god #Not all Christianity is bad #I can be christian and still like the show #personal defense #religion

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abigail-nicole · 1 month

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DS9 Watch Notes

“Star Trek Deep Space 9: What if the Nazis ran a shopping mall but now they're gone and you have to be in charge of the mall” - my spouse

Season One

I grew up watching Star Trek my entire life. Even like Discovery and Enterprise which no one but my mom liked I’m pretty sure

but somehow my parents, white christian conservatives, didn’t watch DS9……hmmmm

anyway I finally in 2024 started DS9, and we start with an intense hot mess in opposition to every other well-ordered utopian Star Trek

DS9’s instant cast of marginalized characters, a chaotically destroyed space station, Sisko hating Picard??? strong writing choices

“When governments fall, people like me are lined up and shot” -Quark

“Never trust ale from a god-fearing people” - Quark

So DS9 came out in 93-99 … vs 87-94 for TNG, then 95-01 for Voyager. And TNG got all the star trek money because DS9 sure didn’t. Man these special effects are bad

Cool that Sisko and Dax, neither of whom are Bajoran, get to go on a Bajoran spiritual journey. Not weird colonial appropriation vibes at all

Tumblr really wants me to ship garak & bashir and quark & odo…. fine

Julian so excited Garak came and talked to him he went and told all his friends, who all think he’s annoying with no coping skills

I knew Julian was autistic bc tumblr but I wasn’t prepared for how much he’s exactly as annoying as a second year medical student

ACAB includes Odo

You could absolutely do something interesting with the ferengi, because a culture that puts an explicit price on everything and doesn’t believe in the implicit value of things is a great way to do social critique of what a culture implicitly and explicitly values. Too bad Star Trek never does this

For how much there’s Gender in this show, don’t think S1 of DS9 passes the Bechdel test

The best part of DS9 is when the holodeck fantasies come to life and Bashir’s sexy submissive version of Jadzia Dax meets real Dax and she smirks and goes “I understand, I was a young man once”

Odo defines himself in relationship to Quark. what is a cop without his criminal. he wakes up & thinks “what is Quark doing right now.” girl love yourself

I’m really enjoying the cardassians. Aliens on Star Trek tend to be one note. Vulcans love logic, Klingons love honor and battle…. Cardassians are just humans. Plus the cardassians get to be played by good actors and have complex character arcs

The way half the characters say “bazhoran” and “bay-zhor” and half (incl Kira, but not all Bajorans) say Bajor and Bajoran

Jake & Nog friendship is the future liberals (me) want

#star trek deep space nine #ds9 #ds9 liveblog

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neechees · 1 year

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you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to but do you have any tips for learning Cree? also, have you ever run into the problem of learning Cree but your community speaking a different dialect of Cree then what you learned?

Just to get this out of the way so I dont have annoying moniyaws in my notes, Linguists go away & DNI.

You probably know that there's sub dialects even within sub dialects, & might change depending on location or community. My dad's Métis/Cree side of the family speaks Northern Cree (a subdialect of Plains Cree y dialect), vs. My mom's Cree side uses one that's more Southern, so conversations on either side of my family could be different, but I grew up more with my mom's Cree. One of the things I ran into a bit is that the previous dictionary I had used was a more Saskatchewan based dialect of plains Cree, but I'm from Alberta. So sometimes when I would try to use a Cree word, people at home wouldn't always understand me. But since starting school for it we've been using a dictionary that fits our local area. However, we have a saying about Cree, & that's "for every word in Cree, there are 4 different ways to say it". It shouldn't be TOO big of a problem, so don't beat yourself over it, dialectic differences happen even between fluent speakers. Just know that it's something you might run into. Try find dictionaries that use the same dialect as you & are close to your area.

I think this is one of the most important things, but focus on learning the Cree letters & their proper pronunciations first, this'll help you for getting words right. If you know the proper sound each individual letter makes, you'll know how to sound out things a little better in Cree, even if you don't know right off the bat. Also know that the macrons (the little "hats" or symbols you see over the vowels) changes the sound, & can change the entire meaning of the word, so pronounciation is important. For example, Sakahikan means "nail" or "spike". Sâkahikan means "lake". That "â" made all the difference, & they are pronounced a little differently, even if they are spelled virtually the same except for that a with the little hat. Remember the little hats.

Somewhat connected to the above, but if you want to learn syllabics thats cool too, but I don't think it's super necessary. But if you do choose to, learn them while you're studying the sounds.

If you look in the dictionary, you might see words labeled by letters like "VAI" or "VTA-2" or "VTI". Those are verb types, & the label is telling you what kind of verb it is. This is important for when you're going to conjugate that verb into a sentence, and tells you the context of that verb. There are a few verb types in Cree: the V stands for "Verb", a T means "transitive", I means "intransitive" and/or "inanimate", & the A stands for "animate". Usually the sequence goes (Verb)(whether it is transitive or not)(whether it's animate or inanimate). Don't fret over this too much & don't be daunted, you're just a beginner, but if you see those abbreviations, that's what they are. For now if you're just working on expanding your vocabulary a little more and not so much on the grammar, spelling rules, or conjugation, you can focus on that a little later. But I'll put a further explanation under the cut if you wanna know more on how it works & what it means.

Listen to Cree. Find Cree songs, shows, movies, books, anything you can get your hands on. Get Cree dictionaries & grammar books. Also try to find other people who speak Cree, fluent and not fluent, to practice with. You need to hear other people speak in order to get better. I'm gunna make a Cree spotify Playlist for this, so stay tuned.

And keep trying! You got this. More info under the readmore for the verb types. Everything I've given as advice is what I would've told my younger self or that I wish I knew before, so I hope this helps.

So to go back to the verb types, for example Vii means "inanimate intransitive" , and an example would be general observations about the weather, like yôtin ("it is windy"). There is nothing animate involved, and there is no second actor to the verb, it's just a fact. A VTI (transitive inanimate) example would be nipēhtēn, "I hear it": it's transitive because of the "it" (a second actor", there is something else involved), and it's also inanimate because the "it" would indicate it is something inanimate or not alive/living (as far as the hearer knows). If instead it was "I hear you" (aka, something living, thus making it animate & a VTA, a transitive animate verb), it would then become kipêhtâtin. A last example is VAI, animate intransitive, would be something like nimīcison ("I eat"). It's animate because the "I", the speaker, is a person who is alive saying it, but it's intransitive because there is nothing else involved, it's just the speaker generally declaring "I eat" (but not specifying anything that they are eating). Here is a really helpful, simple video about what transitive and intransitive verbs are, it helped me understand more about how they work. A lot of Cree dictionaries might also have an index at the beginning describing these verbs as well that you can look through, and Cree grammar books will go more in depth with them & how to use them when you're ready.

#nehiyawewin #justin translates #long post #anonymous

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bcolfanfic · 1 month

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hi! i have a question for ur young vets au cause i love to discuss the practicality behind things and i’ve been thinking about this LOL. when josie first shows up to buck and bucky, she’s obviously quite young and like u and that anon were discussing she needs to rely on buck and bucky for a lot of things. is it easy for them all to fall into that pattern or is it a bit stilted and awkward at first? buck and bucky have obviously never raised a child before and all of a sudden here’s this little girl who needs to depend on them for a lot. does josie feel comfortable getting their help, or are things like baths and such difficult to deal with at first?

a fun fact about me is that since i was 13/14 ive followed the like- the foster parent niche of mommy blogs. a lot of them i still follow to this day and it’s wild bc they borderline feel like extended members of my family since i essentially *grew up* watching their families growing ie seeing their post about a kids first day and *years* later adoption day posts. i’m working on another phone pov for gale right now and one of his lock screen notifs is a post notif from one of them LOL. *that to say*

from what ive gathered when you’re having children in your home through the foster system- whether you’re just going to be foster parent generally or are only going the waiting-child route you’re required to take a certain amount of classes through the county/the agency you’re working with. (in some places it’s about 60-80 hours of class overall). because yeah it is a bit like ripping the bandaid off having kids through foster care/adoption vs raising a baby from infancy! so they have that.

i know ive said bucky clicks with josie faster/gale takes a little longer to find his footing with everything- and in my head that turn out was a very expectations vs reality thing.

like, bucky was a nervous wreck and gale was the one telling him it was going to be alright. but then when she actually moved in their nervous systems like, swap?

re: josie i think she’s understandably a little nerved out at first. but they aren’t her first placement straight out the situation cps removed her from- so she’s not a stranger to being in the care of strangers (💔).

i think it being a home with two men eases her nervous system a little too since a lot of her history is with her mom/her moms friends. bless her sweet little heart. her social worker tries to explain in 4 year old talk that this is it- they’re going to be her parents forever, no more moving. and understanding that the best she can helps too. ❤️‍🩹

#young vets au

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nodirectionhome-ao3 · 3 months

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Hey, I wanted to ask you if you have any tips in writing Lily and Petunia’s relationship. I’m trying to write a fic about Petunia and Lily’s sisterly relationship and how it started off great but then completely shattered into pieces. I really love the way you characterize each of them, the qualities and personalities. For example, in ksfm, the part where Petunia doesn’t show an ounce of remorse when Lily arrives to her home.

It really shows the differences between both sisters, thing is Lily would forgive Petunia for anything she did to her. But after knowing everything she did to Harry it’s just, the bridge of sisterhood was completely destroyed and for good reason. How did you come up with the scenes/flashbacks when Lily saw the memories of her son being neglected/hurt by her sister and brother in law?

At this point I surpassed “broken record” because ksfm is brilliant I hope you know this. I like that you didn’t shy away from the abuse that Harry went through and the rage that Lily felt. The complexity between Lily and Petunia is so interesting. They grew up in the same family, however they both went down two different paths. Not just magical vs muggle, the dynamic is unique in its own way.

personality wise, Lily is loving, caring and will do anything to protect the ones she loves. While, Petunia is vindictive, filled with jealousy that caused hatred to consume her. Which to be honest it’s something that every family has in real life, you could live in the same house, same parents and raised with the same morals. However, that means absolutely nothing when you go against everything, talking about Petunia here. Do you have any headcanons about these two sisters in particular?

I know, there’s lots of people who shouldn’t be parents, Hell… my sisters are bad parents and it fills me with absolute rage knowing they have children/teenagers when they don’t even love them. Example, one of my eldest sisters let her boyfriend implement “discipline” to her two boys by that it was making them kneel down as they held two thick books (like bibles) in each hand for over an hour during a cold shower, I found out about this after they told me a few years after, they felt trapped (I was only 13 when they told me this) My other sister calls my nieces (ages 9-18) horrid/degrading words everyday and anytime I speak out on that, she always says “your not a mom, but when you are you’ll do this very same thing” which boggles my mind because I would never (this is the same sister who is extremely racist and wants me to baptize her daughter like wth?)

sorry for the rambling but what I’m trying to say is thanks for showing how Harry grew up, because many times people don’t understand how horrid life could be. I feel you did a great job in showing this, yes it’s uncomfortable but it also helps so many people who have been through abuse and/or seen it firsthand.

Sorry for the multiple questions, 😅 I always try to condense my words but I end up adding more(Also, the moment Lily uses crucio on Vernon I listened to Bodies- Drowning Pool, because he deserves every bit of that from Lily.)

Hope you have a good day, friend ❤️

First of all, I just want to say that I'm so sorry for what your nieces and nephews have gone through. My heart aches to hear about that and I hope they're okay. I hope you're okay too, because I can't imagine how difficult that's been for you as well. I know this won't feel like much, but sending lots of love and hugs your way❤️🫂

As for your question, I think Lily and Petunia's relationship is so interesting and has the potential for so much depth. I definitely agree with your character analysis of both of them – it really is so fascinating how two people from the same family can end up so different! I like what you said about their relationship starting out good and then shattering as they grew up – that's definitely the headcanon that I went with in KSFM.

My approach to their backstory in KSFM is to think about their story in terms of two phases: phase one is before Lily (and her family) found out that she's a witch, and phase two is after. I like the idea that in phase one, Lily and Petunia were really close. I don't have a sister, but I do have a brother and all of my cousins are significantly older than me (at least a decade, most of them more), so I know from personal experience what it's like to grow up in a family where only one other person is close to your age. In my case, my brother and I were like partners in crime, fierce allies through it all. We were really close, because quite frankly there was nobody else we wanted to hang out with at family events (when our parents were with the other adults) and all the other various social things our parents would drag us to. That's sort of a tangent haha, but I'm just explaining where I'm coming from in this. I like the idea that Lily and Petunia were really close as little kids, particularly in those years before Lily knew what she was. I also think Lily definitely looked up Petunia growing up, because it's definitely a very natural thing for younger siblings to idolize the older one! Petunia might have even felt protective of Lily in those days, before the jealousy took over. In KSFM, Lily was homeschooled in her pre-Hogwarts days because her parents were so worried about the accidental magic (that they didn't understand) and what could happen to Lily if people found out about it. So Petunia and Snape were the only friends Lily had back then and I think, in those days, they both meant the world to her.

Their relationship started to sour when Lily found out (from Snape) that she was a witch. We obviously know from canon that Petunia was really jealous, and that jealousy was canonically what caused Petunia to become spiteful and (eventually) abusive. I also believe that Snape greatly exacerbated the growing divide between Lily and Petunia during those days. He obviously didn't like Petunia, and I think he wanted to drive a wedge between her and Lily so that he could have Lily for himself (that and the fact that he just clearly didn't like Muggles). I wonder if maybe a big part of Petunia's hatred for magic was Snape and the way he inserted himself into Petunia and Lily's lives. It's possible that if he hadn't done that, Lily and Petunia would've spent more time together as kids and maybe that would have tamed some of Petunia's jealousy. (Emphasis on maybe though because I don't want to let Petunia off the hook, she made her own choices about how she treated others.)

In writing KSFM, I wanted to add some more depth to Lily and Petunia's backstory because I didn't want Petunia to come off as a 3-dimensional villain purely motivated by jealousy. So, in KSFM, there's the added element of their mother's death and everything that came after it. I see that as the incident that fully doomed the sisters' relationship irreparably. It's a very tragic thing, because both of them were deeply hurt by it in different ways. For Lily, her father tried to protect her from the months of pain and didn't tell her that her mother was sick until she was on her deathbed, which is obviously a very horrible thing because Lily never got to say goodbye. I'm sure she also feels a certain level of enduring guilt because she wasn't there for her mother during that time, even though that's obviously not her fault since she wasn't told what was going on. On the other side, Petunia did know because she was there in Cokewoth through all of it, so she lives with the memory of those long months filled with hardship when her mother was in continuous decline. She probably did get to say goodbye, but that doesn't mean the experience was easy. It's just a different kind of pain.

All of this is an extremely long way of saying that Lily & Petunia both experienced a traumatic loss that affected the rest of their lives. Petunia's reaction to that was to externalize that pain and become bitter and spiteful. Lily's reaction was to internalize that pain and do everything she can to not let her loved ones feel it too. Petunia's backstory made her abusive while Lily's made her protective.

I also think you're right in that Lily would've kept trying to make amends with Petunia and likely never would've given up completely on their relationship if it wasn't for Harry. Petunia's treatment of her son makes her irredeemable to Lily. There's just no going back from something like that. It was really tough to write the flashbacks with Harry and the Dursleys because it's such a heartbreaking thing to think about but I knew it was important to the overall story to show it because Harry's childhood definitely affects him profoundly. I don't remember exactly how I approached writing that, but I was very conscious of the fact that even though Vernon was louder about it all, Petunia was just as cruel. If not more so. Treating Harry the way she did was her way of "getting back" at Lily for making Petunia feel so unappreciated and not being there for her during that difficult time with their mother (even though, like I said, none of that was Lily's fault). Petunia's logic is warped and twisted from spite, and Harry, sadly, is the one who suffered the consequences of that.

That's very long-winded (and I'm not sure I phrased it correctly) but I hope that helps? The fun thing from a writing standpoint is that we know very little about how Lily and Petunia grew up, outside of the small snapshots we get from canon, so there's so much freedom to create a dynamic relationship!

I can't wait to hear more about your Lily & Petunia fic. It sounds so interesting and I'm sure it will be brilliant!❤️

As always, thank you so much for your kind words about KSFM! I'm so so happy you're still enjoying it!!! (and sorry that this answer turned into a very long essay😅 Apparently I have a lot of thoughts!!)

Thanks for the ask!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

#kindly stopped for me #lily and petunia #the dursleys #tw: child abuse #character study

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everywishway · 4 months

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My Opinions on the Percy Jackson Show

Short answer: I like it, but I have issues with it to which i am mostly blaming Disney. I grew up with this series for a decade, it was my first fandom and I love the books so much so don't kill me pls. Overall, i prefer the musical to this (maybe im just a tech theatre nerd). I hope the show gets better as it continues. If you want the nitty-gritty of my opinions (why really) continue reading

Ok, issue number one is the pacing. Like, Holy Fucking Gods this was going a mile a minute. Even the movie had better pacing and these first two episodes are the same length as half of the Lightning Thief movie. Why is it running so fast like, baby, slow down, you can let us ruminate and have fun here.

Also, stemming from this is the lack of humor and wit compared to the book? Like, Percy is naturally charismatic, funny, and witty and so is Walker?! Like, he was in The Adam Project with Ryan Renolds and he managed to keep up and sometimes outwit him. like, watch interviews of this kid, he's so fucking funny. there were a few moments "my dad is jesus" and "should i try again" being the ones to stand out but those are few and far between and not even as funny as book percy???

I feel like this was Disney not giving Rick enough time and episodes (I think this season should've been 10 eps if not 12) then Rick going "I'm refusing to let certain things go" which inadvertently made the first two episodes feel dull to me?

If I had my say, the whole first chapter was an episode ending with Percy getting expelled, then episode two was him going home and seeing his mother and the minotaur, then episode 3 at camp with Clarise and maybe capture the flag starting. Episode 4 would be capture the flag, then percy gets claimed, then he gets assigned to go on the quest. Each episode would be a part of the quest (bus and Medusa #5, ST Louis Arch #6 (you could cut this episode), Ares #7, Lotus Hotel #8, Underworld #9&10, Ares VS Percy #11 and Luke's betrayal #12)

Finally, all of the kids don't feel like kids. Like, in The Lightning Thief Percy and Annabeth were bickering the whole time over stupid, petty things and I loved that, where is that here? That's so important for the series, why do they feel so bland?! They are talented actors, what is going on

What do I like though?

Sally Jackson, objectively. She was perfectly casted and she has so much love in her heart for her son, she is my queen, I love her so much

Camp is so pretty! Especially the Hermes cabin, which felt so comfy and warm, I love it. exactly what 12-year-old Blue daydreamed about.

PERCY OFFERING THE BLUE JELLY BEANS TO HIS MOM <3

there is other stuff too but I just wanted to get my opinions off my chest to stop myself from boiling over. Can't wait to see if the series improves from here (but im somehow certain the musical is gonna be better tho imo)

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo #percy jackson show #percy jackson spoilers #percy jackson series #annabeth chase #percy and annabeth #rick riordan #percy jackson tv show #the lightning thief

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gmmtv-bl-tournament-but-evil · 4 months

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i think dbk is honestly overrated, or at least that's how i felt about it. i get why people love it so much, but it left a very sour taste in my mouth. going into 2gether, i had already seen a lot of negativity about it, so i expected it to get bad (it did) but i did expect dbk to be a lot more bearable. i think the show just felt so stagnant in terms of petekao, and while i appreciate what it did with the coming out plot, i feel like petekao as a relationship felt really weak and i didn't really root for them to be together?

i didn't like how we could see how pete's possessive behavior having negative impacts on their relationship, and kao feeling compelled to hide things as a result (like, god. he wanted him to just refuse to tutor the kid cuz hes jealous?) was something that instead of being addressed seemed validated. i like flaws, i loooove when characters have big personality flaws, even. but this felt like it was just being validated. we get the vibe that pete was right, and at the end, kao affirms that he likes that pete is possessive. i feel like this would have landed a lot better if instead of possessiveness that feels detrimental, pete grew into being possessive but also respecting this boyfriend. it just felt. odd.

look. i love established relationship and i also ADORE break ups. i think a good break up -> getting back together can be really interesting. i am an exes to lovers enthusiast. but i also almost had zero care about petekao getting back together (this also happened when i watched kiss me again before dbk. i just did not care that much. as a side note the person who directed 2gether, puppy honey, kiss me again, teenage mom, social death vote, etc is my mortal enemy as a 4 pillars fan who has STRONG opinions on the quality of these???) because the show really just made me feel their relationship was really unstable at its foundation? of course, i know they’re good for each other. for example, pete becomes better because of kao. still? didn’t quite work for me.

then there's non. i have no idea how "18year old with a crush on kao who goes too far" became the main driving force of the entire story, because i think there were a multitude of ways to explore the coming out plot poignantly and non was! not it! and i've never enjoyed how they wrote non in the end. in a show where we sympathize with kao for his fear of coming out, i didn't like how we were pitted against the 18yr old with a shitty parent who was scared of coming out. yeah, he fucked up massively and almost ruined kao's life. i get that. but do i think not addressing the massive "bad parent" motivation elephant in the room felt odd? how is it a happy ending that he's just definitely going to suffer cuz of his goddamn strict dad? do we just not care about non? maybe i'm just overly sensitive about this as someone who sympathizes with people who do things because of the fear of their parents (looking at you, ben from nlmg!) and thought it was insulting to me personally that the show said that "a parent will always know what their children are" (i disagree) also pretty much abandoned non? i get most people just found him annoying, but damn. i felt bad. non is like pete in ways, but even more immature and without the presence of a supportive father

oh our skyy was bizarre to me, by the way. less relevant to my opinions on dbk but the characterization was SO off in it and it just felt unneeded. and i’m a kongart our skyy lover so maybe it’s that i subconsciously compared it (our skyy petekao just feels so markedly Not PeteKao of kiss me again OR dbk!) also this didn’t factor into my voting but the continuity changing between kma our skyy and dbk really annoyed me as someone who watched it in order.

i liked sunmork, but a side couple can never save a show for me. the ost & cinematography was nice as well (i looped the theme song so much!) but unfortunately, the show really didn’t work for me. honestly, dbk vs 2gether was hard for me because, well (i could write a rant of this length on 2gether 😭😭😭 maybe longer actually) yeah. but that’s the fun of the competition!

I agree almost completely with everything you say about DBK. Despite finding Non extremely annoying, it left a terrible taste in my mouth that the reason why he was such a dickhead was never addressed and I agree that he got dealt a terrible hand by the narrative.

As for SunMork, I understand your feelings but I have to say that if it wasn't for them I would have never finished DBK. Although it's also true that I watched Not Me way before DBK which endeared to me Gawin soooo much and was also already extremely in love with Podd. That is to say, I was personally invested.

The only episode from that season of Our Skyy I watched was the Puppy Honey one which I liked better than the entire show, so I can't really say anything on the matter of PeteKao there.

I had a completely different experience when first coming into contact with 2gether too and in fact, part of the reason I hate it so much is that I saw nothing but praise for it before watching it and it made me so fucking mad. All the people hailing 2gether as this fantastic, incredible, amazing, showstopping, revolutionary show made me extremely suspicious and then I watched it and completely hated it, and the suspicion turned into absolute fury. Especially when I see it compared to other, better shows as something they should aspire to be.

I realise I'm coming off as extremely mean about it but it pulls some visceral reactions out of me so I'll just stop here before I cross a line.

I love your message, Anon, but it's not lost on me that you didn't actually say which one you voted for!!!!

#asks #anonymous

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fairycosmos · 2 years

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Opinion: It's so much harder to grow up as an overweight child than as a weird skinny child (both are pretty bad though to be fair). My sister and I grew up in a very broken home; bastard of a dad, crazy but fun mom lol. Lotsa personal things happened that led way to my sister and I to having different eating disorders. Her with bed and I with ana. And I will never ever forget the way adults and children alike acted towards her. It was animalistic and venomous and I've never seen such depravedness until I saw how people interacted with my sister. But you know what, I was fucking babied for being underweight! The worst of it was being frequently being pulled aside by teachers as they questioned about what I ate at home and getting called a bag of bones. I was mainly picked on for being quiet and being poor but boys and girls would defend me for being underweight. So I never felt that it was my thinness making me unlovable and ugly. No one would protect my sister but me and a few other girls. She would come home everyday from being bullied at school to being bullied by neighborhood "friends". Not even 10 years old and she couldn't take a break from anything. Yet she remained a tight suitcase, never let anyone see her cry about it, she turned to food for comfort. Food for us was how we were showed love. Our mom would take us out of the house away from our dad to get MickeyD's or when our dad didn't want to verbally apologize he would get us ice cream. I would refuse to eat but seeing my sister finally be able to breathe and enjoy herself could bring tears to my eyes. My sister and I are both grown now, and she has lost weight and you know what, she's one of the prettiest women I've ever seen. It's funny how that works as her bullies aren't so attractive as adults lmao.

uaghhh, as someone who grew up as a fat kid i'm surprised at your like, level of understanding and self-reflection and genuine honesty regarding your experience vs your sisters. i don't like kind of measuring ppl's pain as x is worse than y but fatphobia really is built into society in a truly structural way and it hurts so fucking much growing up with it like a shadow over you and everything you do lmfao, i swear. my heart just absolutely aches for both you and your sister because you obviously each went through some absolute bullshit, like it's awful on either side. though it just fucks me up so much and takes me back to childhood to hear that ppl would really have it out for your sister and that hardly anyone would defend her whereas you were at least supported in that regard. it was the same for me, like ppl absolutely took pleasure in dehumanising me and scorning me for being overweight - it was literally like i wasn't even a person and i know that sounds dramatic but in the most literal sense of the phrase, it really felt like that at times. just white hot shame following you everywhere, and your peers despising you for it. i think it's interesting how using food as a crutch when raising a kid can have such polar opposite yet equally unhealthy and awful effects on a childs mentality and their perception of body image, but it is so so common for us as people to find comfort and companionship and even a vice in food/hunger. that is definitely used against us in general, esp in the furthering of diet culture, it's a fucking hellscape. i'm wishing nothing but health and stability and self love for both you and your sister in the future - those people who messed with her are fucking demons, idc LOL. i'm so proud of you for working your way through that. sending so much love to you both! x

#tw ed #tw anorexia #tw binging #anon

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starseneyes · 1 year

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Did you like the confession of feelings from 5.08? From Tim and Lucy?

Hey, Anon! Thanks for the message. This is a tricky one.

I tend not to post my negative thoughts much on here. Partly because I understand that so much of a show comes together because of many parties contributing to an overall whole. Showrunners. Writers. Actors. Producers. Networks. Editors. Directors. Directors of Photography. And the list goes on.

There are things that bug me sometimes about any number of areas, but I tend to keep it to myself. It doesn't seem productive to point something out on an episode that's "in the can" and mentioning it does nothing but come off as whining.

So, I'll answer this honestly because you asked directly—I liked it, but didn't love it, simply because I was confused in the middle, and that pulled me out of the moment.

I have a very hard time being "in the moment" with any television show. Let me explain why:

My mother's a hair and makeup artist in the industry. When I was a kid, I was very badly bullied by classmates, teachers, and even guidance counselors. I was slapped, kicked, tripped, punched, threatened, and had my belongings hidden, manure put in my backpack, and zero support at the school level.

My Mom's answer? She would write me a sick note and take me on set. Most of the directors were super nice, and would invite me to sit behind them at the monitors so I could watch everything.

Sometimes I helped at Craft Service. Sometimes I simply sat and watched scenes. Sometimes I was an extra. I even acted a bit way back in the day. Many of the folks would talk to me, tell me about what they did and why.

At night, my mother left her scripts out for me to collate. Sometimes, we'd get dailies or advanced copies of the episodes and I'd get to sit down and see how they compared to the script. Then compare that to the as-aired editions. I was always fascinated by the changes that came down.

I wrote my first script at 13, an episode of Star Trek: Voyager. I was complimented for the dialogue being spot-on, and to this day the biggest compliments I get are on dialogue and character. For whatever reason, that's always come easy.

I grew up in a very strange way as a set kid who also fell in love with how it all worked. I was a Film Minor in college and had a lot of fun getting blood advice from my mother (drop of blue), and I loved editing.

On top of that, one of my first jobs as a kid was doing voice replacement for Anime. And I spent about 20 years as a contract player with Studio Center doing commercials, books on tape, on-hold messages, and whatnot.

All that to say—lots of stuff stands out to me that most people don't care about a lick. I get excited by camera movements and continuity. I marvel at what we can do with drones vs having to hire a helicopter. I think about the lighting and how to motivate directionality depending on the scene.

Lucy and Tim's conversation (wow, I finally found my way back to the plot) is very them.

I've seen the shows where people have big, over-reaching confessions of their love for one another. And it fit. those. characters.

Tim and Lucy have a history of running from their feelings. For Lucy, she thought that Tim rejected her when he encouraged her to go to UC School. For Tim, he thinks that he's her greatest mistake—an almost that never should have been.

So this whole episode, Tim has been trying to encourage Lucy as a friend. He's not looking for anything. He truly is doing what he can for her, because he doesn't think she wants more. He thinks "she wants me to be her friend" and he's going to do it to his utmost.

Lucy's not even thinking about breaking up with Chris until Tim says she deserves someone who's worth the effort. That gets her brain going. Then Tim points out that Chris loves her, and she admits she doesn't love him.

"He's just not—"

You. You. We all know it's YOU. And as she's now reeling, because even if she didn't say it aloud, she thought it. "He's just not you."

And what do you do with that type of realization? That you're comparing this other guy you're actively dating to the guy beside you. So, Lucy Chen finishes out her shift, gets changed, and sets out to talk to Tim about the whole thing.

She goes into that conversation with the motivation that she wants to talk about them. But Tim's still in friend-mode, so he doesn't see the signals.

That's why it burst out of her. And I don't mind that. I don't mind it at all.

But Tim not acknowledging the change of conversational direction has always bothered me. Especially when it looks like they cut a line from him that very well may have been, "If we do this."

We skipped straight to, "No, you're right." And the first time through, I was super confused, I'll admit. The lack of acknowledgement from Tim just threw me.

There are probably a lot of people out there who weren't bothered at all. But watching Tim's body language indicate a line that was cut really confused me, and then his lack of acknowledgement of the change of direction puzzled me.

Again, you asked my thoughts directly, so I'm giving them openly. But I can hear a bunch of people rolling their eyes at me. Yes, I know I'm odd and what bothers me in a scene is odd.

Because, I don't have beef that Lucy blurted out what was really going on between them because she got impassioned by Tim's assertions about her fear and answered unthinkingly.

I think that's completely in character, especially considering her entire motivation in this scene was to feel that out with Tim. And Tim's surprise and trying to process is in-character, too, but I really missed that conversational transition the first time through. And it still stands out to me on every re-watch.

I know some people wanted a big, emotional love confession... but that's not Tim and Lucy. Neither of them is big about making speeches.

Tim talks often in two or three word sentences (see "Unless it is"). Lucy speaks rapidly, sometimes, but not in an overly elloquent fashion littered with metaphors and emotional revelations. They both tend to be fairly to-the-point in how they communicate.

If we were to get something flowery and flowy from Lucy, I'd expect it in her wedding vows, when she's had time to sit and compose something. She'll attack it like she does her UC work—thoroughly.

And Tim will find ways to show Lucy how he feels. He's more of a show guy, remember? Words aren't his forté, and if they suddenly were, it would be out of character.

Lucy speaks Tim. So, she'll know by his actions how much he loves and cherishes her.

And much as Lucy uses her words, I'd expect more pet-names and short bursts of affection (like telling him he'd do great on his first day) combined with the pranking and awkward photos that have been prevalent throughout their relationship, no matter the phase.

So, did I like the confession? Yes. It was very in-character. Did I love it? No. I had a bit of a hangup, but that's just me. I bet nobody else even noticed, or if they did, they didn't care.

I'm not here to criticize the Writers. I know the care that goes into crafting these characters and their relationships. The hours spent working together to break story, drafts, network notes, and so on. There are so many layers before we even get on-set to start shooting the darn thing.

I think a grand confession from either of them would have felt forced, heavy-handed, wildly out-of-character, and out of the character of the show as a whole. It wouldn't make sense to compromise the integrity of The Rookie for the sake of Chenford.

I do hope that answers your question (and makes a modicum of sense). It's entirely just my opinion! Everyone's mileage may vary, and that's part of what makes fandom fun. Thanks for the message!!

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #The Rookie

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redjadethewriter · 5 days

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My Critique of a Blog About Cold People

This morning while having my cup of coffee I came across a blog in my feed, “8 Traits of a Cold Person and 4 Effective Ways to Handle Them” written by Sarah Jensen. After reading it, I have an urge to share my perspective on it.

Just so you’re aware, I’m a cold personality type. It’s my analysis of myself, regardless of what people may assume. I also understand this personality trait is not my true nature, it is just something I developed through childhood from the environment and as a coping mechanism. I guess we are talking about “Nature vs Nurture”. Cold personality traits, in my honest opinion, are strictly based on nurture. Only in the past decade people realized the effects of trauma, environmental influences and unfortunately, not so great parenting. Let’s just say, even when I was a child, my mom was worried about how I don’t warm up to people easily and I can appear cold. So, this is not only me self-analyzing. Now there are some things I agree with in this blog and there are things I don’t, but definitely the 4 ways to handle someone such as myself I agree with. Which these behaviors in the first place, in my opinion, stem from C-PTSD. But either way, let’s get into it.

#1. Emotional Indifference. “A cold person may exhibit a lack of empathy and emotional expression (Jensen, 2024).” With the emotional expression I agree with, I developed a stoic mask to hide my emotions. Like playing poker with life, I showed little facial expression to things. Even in crisis, I used to have a dead-calm face. Even some friends, they admit who suffered from childhood trauma, developed a way to suppress their emotional responses and actually, could respond with absolute clarity when shit happened around them. But, by no means, we lack empathy. It’s quite the opposite. We have an exceptional amount of empathy and compassion, but we dissociate most of the time. I think this person is referring to someone who developed sociopathy or narcism. That’s a whole different turnaround in terms of mental disorders which, yet again, externally influenced.

#2. Formal Communication. “Cold people prefer a formal way of speaking and might maintain physical and emotional distance, even in a close relationship. They often avoid physical contact and may be stiff or unapproachable (Jensen, 2024).” Not entirely accurate or false. First, you might have to consider that people on the Autistic spectrum, especially the ones undiagnosed, are not comfortable with random affection. Not all cultures are physically or emotionally affectionate. Formal way of speaking, lol. If you grew up in a household that emphasized speaking formally over casually, you would also speak formally most of the time. Working jobs, I had to always speak formally and watch what I say because so many issues can occur. But with friends and family members, I don’t speak formally. Actually, people have told me I have a sailor’s tongue. With random people or just acquaintances, I will speak formally until I sense that it’s ok to speak casually or freely with them enough to let my jokester-self out. It’s a matter of respect. And physical boundaries matter too, especially if you have experienced physical abuse in your life. You wouldn’t want just anyone crossing your personal boundaries. It’s a fight flight response. So, there are a variety of things to consider here. Think of culture, whether they are ASD, or if they have C-ptsd or Ptsd. Each approach will be different.

#3. High Autonomy. “Cold people are highly independent. They prefer solitary work, and may shun collaboration, valuing personal space, and solitude, which helps them recharge (Jensen, 2024).” Ok, if they are introverted, yes, they will need solitude to rest. But this falls back to the contradiction of #1. of lack of empathy. A cold person is highly empathic and can take in more than the average, so they will isolate more, especially if they work jobs that require them to be around many people all the time. Also, high independency, in my opinion, comes from having to become an adult early and set aside childhood. Yet again, this falls under someone who suffers from C-PTSD, which imposter syndrome stems from as well. It can come from becoming the parent to your parents. Also, people who have PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), they don’t want anyone telling them what to do. So, people with PDA pursue self-employment and become entrepreneurs. By the way, I don’t shun collaboration, but sometimes I end up taking the leadership role if I’m the one with the most skill to get things done in an efficient manner. If you're an artist or in any creative field, you're gonna value personal space and some solitude, how else will work get done? So, yet again, there are many things to consider.

#4. Realistic Outlook. “Cold people often approach life with a realistic and detached perspective. They are pragmatic, solving problems logically rather than emotionally, which sometimes appears as skepticism or cynicism (Jensen, 2024).” Yet again, only my opinion, this is still referring to someone with complex trauma. Becoming cynical can come from chronic burnout. It’s actually one of many symptoms of burnout. Because someone who developed hyper independence, it means they are doing everything on their own and can’t rely on help, because they never got any help as a child and had to do everything they can to be self-sufficient at all costs. This is a survival mindset versus a thriving mindset. Someone with complex trauma or ptsd, it’s a challenge to thrive or be connected to emotions again. Alexithymia is common in CPTSD, PTSD, ASD, ADHD, get what I’m saying. We don’t have access to our full spectrum of emotions because of unresolved internal issues.

#5. Reserved Nature. “People who are cold are typically private and rarely share personal details and feelings. They value discretion, observe rather than take part, and might seem secretive or overly private (Jensen, 2024).” Uhh… this yet again requires figuring the reasons. Some people on the Autistic spectrum can’t process group conversations well, there are some like me who observe the conversation and then calculate a response. Not everyone has the best social skills as well. And some who values privacy is because it’s a matter of vulnerability. How safe does the person feel to let down their guard? For me, it’s a lot to consider before I let anyone know about personal details of me, or anything, even revolving around the things I do. I’ve had issues where I let people get close and they weaponized it for their egos. It’s painful as hell to become vulnerable with someone, only to have them betray your trust. That’s a major insecurity that a lot people suffer from. Many people have issues with rejection and abandonment issues. Listen, I rarely meet people who are brave enough to showcase their true selves or even say what they want or how they feel. Becoming overly private, there’s a valid reason behind it. If you come across a person like that and you want them to open up more. Make it clear through actions to make sure you are a safe person to share themselves with. And that can be taxing because it requires so much work and persistency, but if you want to connect with that person and consider it worth the effort, I guarantee the person will stealthily appreciate it. Because subconsciously, they want you to give up. They expect you to give up, but you have to prove them wrong.

#6. Self-control and Discipline. “A cold person will often display impeccable self-control and personal discipline, which can manifest as a lack of spontaneity. Their controlled nature helps them manage their emotions tightly, but it can hinder their emotional expression (Jensen, 2024).” You know, I noticed and I’m not the only one who thinks this, people who have suffered countless traumas. Childhood, shit in life… they use discipline as a distraction. A lot of us become obsessed with productivity. Some of us get into extreme activities, dangerous ones. They become addicted to exercising. Some things that people might consider as good habits are really just them using it to have control over the chaos brewing inside them. Because the moment that unleashes, it’s messy. Listen, I don’t lack spontaneity as a cold person. People with ADHD like myself have an impulse control issues. So, when I say messy, if I let my emotions rule and succumb to that itch for stimulus, oh my gosh. Over time, I learned to accept I have to change things up in life and not always stick to a routine. Individuals with ASD find comfort in routine, which can be seen as discipline when in reality they need the stability to not become overwhelmed. The stability helps with their nervous system. I even have to do a lot of things to help regulate my nervous system or I’ll go crazy as fuck and my body will break down because of it. Therefore, really critically think first on the reasons. Some cold people can be stealthily spontaneous as hell. Outside people are just not going to witness it.

#7. Skepticism and Distrust. “Deep-seated skepticism or distrust toward other’s intentions, which can make them seem guarded or overly cautious (Jensen, 2024).” Anyone with trauma, especially the ones who survived horrendous situations at home, or with someone they trust, is always going to question the intentions of others. Trust must be earned, not given, at this point. Those of us who are survivors will say this, prove your intentions, and let us decide if we consider you a safe person to let into our life. That’s all I have to say about that.

# 8. Reflective and Introspective. “Despite their distant nature, cold people often engage deeply in self-reflection and contemplation, making them insightful and thoughtful, though perhaps overly analytical (Jensen, 2024).” I think people don’t self-reflect enough. To be honest, sometimes being over analytical is because of insecurities. I have to analyze to predict an outcome because I don’t enjoy being surprised in life by anything. I even have a deep insecurity about the future because I want to know, I want the safety of knowing. There’s a sense of wanting control, especially towards my well being. Some of my ex friends would re-run situations repeatedly, especially conversations with people. Trauma can also cause some of us to become people pleasers, especially if we had a narcissistic parent or lived in an abusive household. Personally, I want the path of least friction for my own mental well-being. It’s exhausting. But because I spend a lot of time in solitude because of my artistic personality and empathic nature, I spend a good portion of it reflecting on my mistakes and gain insight to improve. But this, yet again, stems from trauma and a lot of normalized bullshit.

Now about the methods of dealing with someone with a cold personality.

#1. Have An Empathetic and Respectful Approach. That needs to be toward anyone. “Respect their need for space. Listen actively, and engage thoughtfully, showing interest without being overbearing (Jensen, 2024).” This I totally agree with. I said it before, taking actions and actual interest in that person, and keep consistent, it matters. That person has to see first if they can trust you or even rely on you.

#2. Clear and Direct Communication. Oh my gosh, I don’t like it when people are passive with their words and not upfront. I understand some people developed a habit of not saying what they want for certain reasons, such as not being able to ask for things out of fear of being denied it. Also, there’s a fear of rejection and being thought differently of, meaning acceptance. However, I appreciate anyone who gets to the point with me and says what they want, because it gives me the sign to do the same. And I agree with the blogger that it helps build trust and have less misunderstanding. Because believe me, miscommunication sucks.

#3. Recognize and Value Their Independence. “Appreciate their self-sufficiency. Allow them the autonomy they need in tasks and decisions without making them feel isolated or unsupported (Jensen, 2024).” I am gonna be honest; I have issues with receiving help. It’s not something I ask for or expect receiving. As much as self-sufficiency can be a good thing, I understand now because I’ve been working on the root of my cold tendencies to realize it’s exhausting doing things alone. I cultivated self-sufficiency so I wouldn’t feel like I would owe someone. Because with my environment and what I grew up experiencing, most things came at a price, including help. To me, when I ask for help, it’s the equivalent of selling my soul. That’s how much it bothers me. But someone who appreciates the things I do, or even acknowledges that I work hard. I’m going to tell you the truth. At first I didn’t know how to process it. I didn’t even know how to respond to it. Think of it as a foreign concept for someone like me. It’s going to take a while. So, expect them to not react to any compliments at first, but it will slowly chip away, and maybe they will accept it as truth. I know it took me a while to accept the good things people would say about me. Compliments and all.

#4. Build Trust Gradually. “Foster a trustworthy environment (Jensen, 2024).” Oh my gosh, beautiful. “Be consistent and reliable in your actions and commitments(Jensen, 2024).” I one hundred percent agree. That’s all we want. That’s what I want. A safe environment, and we want to trust. Believe me, we deeply want to trust someone. No matter what anyone says, deep down, this is the goal. This is my paradise. “Demonstrate integrity through actions rather than just words (Jensen, 2024).” All of this would thaw out my heart at some point. For me, yes, because I recognized trauma is the root of my cold tendencies. I’ve separated that this is not my nature, and the real me is somewhere under a thick layer of darkness. And only healing and creating a safe environment filled with trusting people will bring that out.

Thank you!

Link to article:

https://www.wecb.fm/8-traits-of-a-cold-person-and-4-effective-ways-to-handle-them/

#lgbt author #life blogging #writers on tumblr #mental health #childhood trauma #ptsd #complex ptsd #building trust #emotional health #self reflection #self awareness #healing trauma #neurodivergent #assimilation #masking #asd #adhd

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fandom-imagination-ss · 8 months

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Imagine: bring lunch to Derek, and you trying to convince Scott that what he was doing was a bad Idea. Derek had to step in between the two of you when it got too heated.

It was pretty typical for Derek to forget his lunch, even those they had a small fridge full of somewhat decent food. you always had the time to go deliver him, Lunch. you secretly think he "forgets" just so he could see you mid-day. you were debuting on just telling him to stop packing his lunch bag that you would make something for him. but He does try to remember he makes the lunch the night before, pulls it out of the fridge in the morning next to Eli's Lunch Kit. then he kisses you goodbye and then just gets distracted. Is he forget or does he pull this Move so he could see you Mid Day? he's always in a better mood once he sees you. you choose to live in the romantic fantasy that he just misses you and wants to see you mid-day. vs the fact he has a million things going on in his head and he just simply forgets.

getting to the garage you notice Derek under a truck shirtless as you whistled. at him. he chuckled softly he knew it was you from the scent but hearing you whistle. eh couldn't believe even after all these years of marriage you still cat call him. "Hey sexy Man, can I be your mechanic? Because I am want to go under you and get dirty?" Derek chuckled pulling himself out of under the truck as you smiled holding his lunch. he chuckled getting up as he spoke, 'that was awful. Not one of your better ones." you chuckled softly, "I heard you laugh." he smiled stepping over kissing your lips softly 'thanks for bringing me my lunch."

you smiled softly, "Any time baby."

he smiled at that as you spoke, 'but where is your shirt?"

"got caught under a ridge in the truck and is ripped., and my spare is a good shirt so I'll get cleaned up before coming home." you nodded your head touching his abs. softly. he smiled weakly. the tender moment was over when Scott and Alison Rolled up in his Half taped Car. your thoughts changed completely seeing Scott. and he's vintage car.. covered in green painters tape. "what the hell is he doing?" you both walked out. to see the mayham closer.

you and Scott use to be close friends, best of friends in high school and you were best friends with Alison in high school, but then she died, and you all grew up. and Scott- in your words 'was the most useless Alpha in the history of the world" your opinion of him only got worst when Alison returned and instead of being the almost 30 year old man. Scott decided to Take Alison from her dad.. and they were dating... Alison being a sixteen year old girl. vs. the now old scott. It was Icky. and you just. bare it. because Derek said the situation was complicated. it was a sore topic. you k new they were in town getting a car from Scott's mom but to see it was the Alpaca you were stunned hs mom was giving it to Scott.

"what's with the tape?'" you asked as Scott got out as he spoke, 'oh im taking the car to a car show down in La and I wanted the paint to be in perfect condition.."

"I gotta go to the washroom.." Alison said out loud as Derek showed her. as you spoke, "wouldn't the painter tape.. Ruin it? how many rolls did you go thru?"

"20. but it's not going to ruin it! trust me."

your mouth fell slightly hearing that as you spoke, "it's the cheap painter tape. that leaks.. the Sun and the sticky part on the tape.. Scott.. that doesn't sounds like a good idea."

Scott just rolled his eyes at you as Derek asked about the Car show. trying to defuse the tension. your mind was just playing over all the horrible things the Tape will do to you Alpha. you loved that car.

for a short time after graduation when Scott was pretending to be a great alpha and stuck around town. to help with Liam and the pack. you stuck around too. Not for the pack. your gran needed help and you took a year off school to help her. back when you were best friends with Scott. you use to hang out every day.

you were leaning against his Car waiting for Scott to come back from the coffee shop he was getting you both hot chocolate and were going to go over what to do with Liam who just got caught in wolf form by the mayor and was putting out a huge reward to "catch the beast." 10 thousand dollars. you almost debuted taking a wolf selfie of yourself in the woods. just to collect the money for your gran. Scott was furious at Liam. you however remembered ALL the times you screwed up, Scott screwed up.. like the time when you thought it was a good idea. to jump at Derek and kiss him. before he threw you across the lacrosse field. it was near the full Moon. your first one. and you were wildly unprepared for your body to feel like it being pricked by live wires.

Did you think about that Hot kiss for WEEKS? afterwards? Yes you did.

Derek called you a idiot and promised you that you and him would NEVER happen!

It Only made sense and was fair that when Derek arrived that cold winter day while Scott was inside the Cafe that he came walking over to you. and not giving you any warning before he grabbed your face and softly pushed you back against the Car and gave you kiss that made your knees go weak and your toes curl. unlike Derek when you kissed him years ago. you didn't pull back you wrapped your arms around him. and you stayed like that for several minutes until Scott screamed to get off the car.

you loved that Car. Derek asked you out while you were leaning against the car catching your breath. So to see it Now.. Covered. completely in green tape.. you felt a ping of sadness.. you weren't a Mechanic, Nor were you a genius but the Hot Summer Sun, Plus that tape hitting the Hot metal car.. it wasn't going to end well.

Scott and Alison soon left. after you tried again to reason with Scott saying what he was doing was a bad idea. but he refused to listen. you turned to Derek as he spoke, "let it go."

"Am I crazy? Derek? That screams like a stupid idea."

"your right- he's going to destroy the car."

"Then Why didn't you say anything? you love that car. we made out against that car hundreds of times."

Derek sighed heavily rubbing his face stepping over pulling you into a side hug as he spoke, " Scott said to butt out, so I did.. Scott needs to learn to listen to his pack. this is a lesson."

you simply rolled your eyes as Derek offered to make out against is truck to make you feel better you laughed shoving him away as you promised to meet him at home. Where Derek can get all Dirty there.. with Finishing the gardening. he promised to finish yesterday.

Alison called a few days later. as you answered.

"hey Y/N, does Derek do paint jobs?'

"No why?"

"The Car-.. the Sun or the heat must of combined between the Sun and the heat from the car itself. it lifted almost all of the paint right off. Scott is furious."

'I told him that would happen."

"yea- he's not in the funny haha told you so yet. he's furious."

"God.. aren't custom paint jobs. thousands? of dollars?"

"DOES DEREK KNOW SOMEONE WHO'S CHEAP TO DO IT?"

hearing scott screaming in the background you turned to Derek as he shook his head, "No. he's shaking his head no."

then the line went dead.. you put your phone down till a photo appeared to see the damage of the car. you showed it to Derek as he said he deserved that for being scott. you chuckled softly agreeing as you went on your day..

now learning a valuable lesson. dont put painter's tape on your Car in the middle of summer, during a heat wave.

#"#derek hale #derek hale imagine #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #imagine #fandom imagine #scott mccall #scott mccall imagine #TW imagine #tw

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