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#they definitely studied before lol and still took them forever
f1-stuff · 2 years
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Austin GP ‘22 // Name the US states
Charles: *excessive praising* “Good apex! I like this, Picasso! Little oversteer, but we like it like that! Beautifuuull! Good rotation in exit...oooh-” Carlos: “Connecticut!”
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starry-stormy-knight · 4 months
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taken me ages but behold archive karecktors
adolin and maya beloved but also the most time consuming because i had to figure out how the hell i was going to do adolin's hair and not hate looking at it, and maya took me forever to figure out the colours lol. looked at so many references trying to figure out what dead vines should look like and what i would like it to look and i couldnt really find what i wanted lol. but what i went for was like really dried out and very very dead looking fibre. that wasnt too bad but trying to figure out her clothes that would look decent before and after she becomes a deadeye was hell for me an amateur colour theory understander lmao
i have drawn shallan before so she wasn't too difficult but i was truly torn about which version of pattern i wanted to show?? so i did a few of them hahah. i did a canon compliant version, alluding a bit to BE NOT AFRAID angel vibes. but im pretty passionate about ferrofluid-looking pattern as thats what i picture in my head (but i couldnt really find a good reference so i couldnt really do it well. it's also like, about the way it moves more than a still frame so extra challenge). and if you've seen my shallan art you know i. asdlkfjh. i originally pictured pattern as a QR code so i was compelled to continue it. @mistbjorn this one's for you because youre so right <3
syl i usually picture similar to kida in disney's atlantis when she merges with the crystal and you can see her scalp beneath her transparent hair, so thats the inspo for her. for the sylspear i designed it to look a bit like a caduceus as homage to kaladin's medical training and his dad, and like it's not that deep but i guess the swirly glowy bits are his duality and being torn between two worlds etc etc or you can just picture spren zipping about if you want lol like i definitely pictured syl was one but the other makes no sense
the kholins i dont have much to say since they were not part of my original plan hahaha but i couldn't help adding them too. i lowkey struggled to make them unique but also similar because family alksdjfhs i was sketching this around a time i did a lot of face studies so it was so whack and the colouring absolutely killed me so it is what it is asldkjaklsdjf
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midnight-on-pluto · 9 months
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Hi. So this is my request.
Tenya Iida x reader where the readers parents kick them out because they want to be a hero and are in UA. Then they just show up at Tenyas door in the pouring rain to ask if they could sleep at his house for a night. And Tenya is just so 😠mad. Protective Tenya activated.
so sorry that this took me ages to get out! I had no motivation for months and am finally attending my drafts and rebranding lol! so here's the first of many to come ♡♡
warnings:  emotional abuse, reader is kicked out by their parents, self-deprecating and unhappy thoughts
SFW, fluff, angst but not really, mostly comfort.
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I should have been a doctor, I thought. My clothes clung to my body, skin prickled with goosebumps as I collapsed onto the ground. The unsigned, now drenched, permission form was bunched in my fist, my nails digging into my skin. 
“Why would we sign this?” My mother’s voice was ringing through my mind as I recalled tonight’s events. “Just so you to go kill yourself for some dream?” 
“Stupid,” I scolded myself. The cold rain only picked up as I began to cry, choked sobs being drowned out by the pouring rain. 
“If you don’t want to give up on this silly dream then leave!” My father slammed his fist down on the table as he spoke. “I don’t want some mediocre hero claiming to be my child. Go play hero somewhere else.”
I took a deep breath, eyes shutting tightly to blink away my tears. “This is pathetic,” I said to nobody. My hands rubbed the tears off my face, replacing it with mud from the ground. 
I stood, legs tired. I didn’t even think to look at where I was going, just running as fast and far as I could. I looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings, the only light coming from the streetlights. I patted around, luckily smacking something hard and rectangular shaped, my phone. 
I pulled it out, 3% battery remaining. Quickly I pulled up my GPS, trying to see where I was and what the closest place to go was. I’d run close to UA, luckily. Perhaps I could see if anyone was still there, although unlikely. 
I tried looking around more, finding a familiar street name. Tenya’s street, I thought. Something inside me sank, dreading just showing up at his doorstep, soaking wet with tears and mud staining my cheeks. But it was the only place to go, and I trusted him more than anyone else in my class. 
The walk wasn’t very long, but it felt like forever. The rain only worsened, I would definitely be getting sick. By the time I got to Iida’s street, my phone died. I continued, walking up the street and stopping at the mailbox reading IIDA. A light was on inside, I could see in the dining room. Tenya sat there with his family, eating dinner. They were smiling, even laughing as his older brother said something, a huge grin on his face. 
I took a deep breath before walking up to their door. I stood for a moment, enjoying the roof over my head before shutting my eyes and raising my fist. 
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
I took a step away from their door. Eyes willing themselves to open and hands behind my back, gripping my wrists tightly in anticipation. 
A few footsteps came from the otherside before their dark blue door swung open. A woman, blue eyes and black hair, answered with a smile. I opened my mouth for a moment but said nothing. As she studied me, I could see her smile fade lightly and her face contorted into confusion. 
Tenya came up behind her, his brother following behind. His blue widened after seeing me, hand going to the woman’s shoulder and leading her out of the way. 
“Tenya,” was all I could manage for now. “Hi.” 
The girl and Tenya’s brother shared confused looks, then left us alone. Tenya stepped out onto the porch, hand immediately flying to my forehead. 
“You’re cold,” he said. “What’re you doing out in this weather?”
“Can I stay here?” I asked him softly, “just for the night.” 
His head tilted, eyes focusing on me. “Sure,” his hand slipped into mine before he used the other to open his door again. He pulled me in, shutting the door behind us. 
“Stay here,” he told me, gesturing to the welcome mat I stood on. I looked at my feet, wet socks leaving dark wet marks on the fabric. Shit, I thought. Forgot shoes.
The woman peaked from the dining room archway. Tenya’s brother tugging on her shirt, “leave them be, mom.” He whispered. I didn’t look over at them, too embarrassed to look. Instead, I studied the inside of his home. The beautiful stairs leading to the second storey, their living room to the left of me, their dining room on my right. Bookshelves lined their walls, golden trimmed books glittering in the light of their entrance chandelier. 
It wasn’t long before Tenya came back, a grey bath towel with him. He put it around my shoulders, telling me to dry off before he disappeared into the dining room. I pulled the warm towel to myself, covering my face with it in embarrassment. My legs started shaking as my thoughts wandered, tears threatening again. 
I could hear light whispering from where Tenya had gone, a woman’s voice questioning, then Tenya’s voice answering. I inhaled sharply, willing my arms to move so I could dry off before he came back. 
Tenya’s footsteps approached, I kept my gaze limited to the floor, my hair blocking the view of anything else, rain lightly dripping down to the mat. I felt my cheeks burning. 
“Come upstairs,” his voice was calm, understanding. “You need to get out of those clothes, take a bath.” 
I only nodded and let his hand grip mine, letting him guide me upstairs, turning a few corners and into his bathroom. 
“I’m going to start a bath, okay?” He waited for my nod before turning on the water.”Feel this, tell me if it’s too hot.”
I stepped towards the bathtub and reached my hand into the water, “it’s good.” 
He sat on the edge of the bathtub while it filled up, hand still in the stream of water to regulate the temperature. 
“Do you wanna tell me why you’re here?” He asked. His voice was soft, not an ounce of annoyance or grievance coming out. 
“I was kicked out,” I spoke. “No more home for me, I guess.” The light chuckle that left my lips turned to a sob and I quickly breathed deep to stop the impending breakdown from happening. 
“What?” His voice now sounded slightly angry, but still filled with kindness. “Why would your parents do this?”
I didn’t say anything, still trying to hold back my tears. I only shrugged my shoulders pathetically as an answer, and he turned the tap off and stood up. 
“Take a quick bath, you can use anything you’d like in here. I’ll wait outside so just knock once you’re done and I’ll bring you some clean clothes, okay?”
I nodded again, then he left. I let the tears fall from my eyes the moment the door shut. The towel fell from my shoulders and I sniffled back as I peeled the clothes off my body. Stepping into the steaming water, skin tingling as it enveloped me, I finally let myself cry. The water smelt of my favourite scent, something I assumed Tenya added while filling the tub. 
I dipped down, fully submerging myself into the water and coming back up for air. I curled into a ball, arms reaching for the bottles of soaps and creams on the tub corners. I started reading what they were through blurry eyes. 
Birch scented shampoo and conditioner, moisturizing body wash, shea butter body scrub. I used the scrub, rubbing it up my arms and silently crying. 
I took a long bath, testing out every product on his bathtub. I heard his brother come to say goodnight to him, asking if I was okay and then leaving once Tenya told him I would be. His mother came to say goodnight with his father, asking what was wrong and asking if I would be here for breakfast tomorrow morning. 
After a while, the water had turned cold and the bathroom smelt like a mix of Tenya. I reached into the tub, pulling its plug and reaching for the towel. I dried my feet off first, stepping onto the tiled floor and then rubbing the rest of my body until it was slightly dry, no longer dripping everywhere. 
I walked up to the door, giving it three light taps. 
“Can I come in for a moment?” Tenya’s voice came. 
“Sure.”
The door handle turned and Tenya walked in, handing me a small pile of warm clothes and then leaving, closing the door shut behind him. 
I dressed myself, then stepped into his hallway. He’d given me dark blue sweatpants and a matching hoodie, both too big for me. I had to pull the drawstring of his sweatpants tightly and tie them into a bow. 
Tenya was waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall dressed in his pajamas. When I stepped out he quickly turned to me, eyes landing on mine as I finally looked up at him. 
“Did you eat dinner?” He asked quietly. I shook my head, no. “Follow me.” He led me down the hall and into his bedroom, which had the bedside lamp on. A mug of hot tea and bowl of soup were placed alongside the lamp, and glass of water with them. He had set up a mattress on the floor of his room, blankets and sheets fitted on it. 
I started to walk towards it, but was caught by Tenya. “No, you take the bed tonight. Have some soup too, please.”
I turned to him. “Tenya, I can’t take your bed. I’ll be fine on the floor.”
“Please,” he begged. I gave in, walking to the bed and gesturing to him that he sit beside me. I sat cross legged as he handed me the bowl of soup. 
“They don’t like me being a hero,” I managed in between spoonfuls of soup. “Not good enough for them.”
He looked at me. “You don’t need to explain if you don’t wish to,” he said.
“It’s okay, that’s really all they said.” I lied. My mother’s shrill scream of, “don’t bother coming back until you can say you’re done disappointing this family,” ringing in the back of my mind. 
I wished I could fool him, but the look in his eye was showing his true disbelief in my lie. His face was left with a frown, teeth chewing on the inside of his lip while he thought. 
“How could you not be good enough for them?” He asked quietly, but not low enough that I missed it. “You’re an excellent student, an even better hero. You save lives, and it’s not good enough for them?” His voice was starting to rise slightly, anger lacing his tone. 
“Iida please,” I tried to get him to lower his voice. “It’s really not a big deal, they just don’t like heroes, that’s all.” 
“A parent is supposed to be a hero, someone who uplifts their kid’s dreams and supports them.” He was at a normal voice level now, his navy eyes locking with mine. “How could they kick you out over your dreams?”
“My parents aren’t like yours,” I whispered to him, “they don’t understand, just please keep it down.” My hand found its place on his before I knew what was happening and he froze slightly, eyes flickering down to his hand before looking back up at me. 
“You’re amazing,” he whispered. “Just know that. I would’ve died a million times if you hadn’t helped me.” 
I smiled at him, “thank you.” 
“Now please finish your soup, it’s late and if you don’t warm up you’ll catch a cold.”
"Okay."
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lowkeychenle · 9 months
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Opposites Attract [ZCL/NJM] (M)
Description: Your relationship with Jaemin started out simple--friends with benefits with zero complications...until there was one. That complication's name is Zhong Chenle, and after Jaemin agrees to expand your exclusivity deal to involve him, there's only one logical thing left to do...
Genre: Smut. That's it. It's literally 4.4k worth of smut.
This was a request! Thank you for requesting what turned into what is most likely the longest sex scene I have ever written LOL (and to the other anon in my inbox, my wonderfully Jaemle-fied brain is coming for you next)
Content Warnings: Explicit, rough, unprotected sex (don't do the unprotected part), Chenle says pretty girl again (not sorry) and also slut because duality (again?), Jaemin says princess and whore once i think? Overstimulation !!! and crying because of that...oh and also threesome? didn't know if that was clear lol
Word Count: 4,392
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader x Na Jaemin (the lack of Jaemle gifs is a literal crime so HERE is a picture I found off the internet)
Juliet's Masterlist | Requests
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Your arrangement is out of the ordinary, sure, but none of you are complaining. It started off fairly simple, with just you and Jaemin having your way with each other whenever you felt like it. You’d been friends with the boys practically forever at this point—you never kept secrets from them, and they never kept them from you, either.
That is…until you and Jaemin agreed to be friends with benefits. You both were much too busy to have anything real, and there honestly wasn’t anyone else you’d trust enough to not blab about it to all the other boys.
Chenle snuck his way in, figuratively and literally. You and Jaemin were normally very, very careful with this. None of the boys even had suspicions.
In group settings, he treats you like he treats the rest of them.
In private? You’re his princess, and he worships the ground you walk on.
That day, Jaemin texted you asking you to come over. It was the middle of the afternoon, and your activities were usually saved for nighttime. Either way, you didn’t hesitate. After almost six months of this arrangement, your body automatically responded to him. He never let you down.
He must’ve been frustrated about something because the two of you didn’t make it past the couch to his bedroom. Both of you were shirtless and he was pressed between your legs when his front door opened. Jaemin immediately pressed his chest to yours to cover you the best he could.
“Six months of everyone being ignorant to this has not been long enough,” Jaemin groaned, looking up at Chenle standing in the doorway.
He blinked rapidly at the two of you, in shock more than anything else. Nobody had even come close to suspecting the two of you.
“Dude,” Jaemin said. “Do you mind turning around so I can make sure she’s decent?”
“Yeah, duh. Shit.” Chenle whipped around to stare at the door, tugging his fingers through his hair.
Jaemin quickly grabbed your shirt and whispered an apology and a promise to make it up to you later. You took a deep breath and sat up on the couch, patting your cheeks to snap yourself out of your Jaemin haze.
“I didn’t know you two were a thing.” Chenle turned back to you, arms crossed over his chest.
You and Jaemin glanced at each other before Jaemin replied, “We’re not.”
“Oh, right. I forget that people who aren’t involved have sex all the time. Which is like…the definition of involved.” Chenle quirked an eyebrow.
“We’re not dating, is what he means.” You tried to explain it without spelling it out for him.
“So, he wouldn’t be mad if I asked you for a turn?” Chenle looked at Jaemin, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’d be perfectly okay with that?”
Jaemin’s jaw tightens. “It’s…Don’t be an idiot. There’s no feelings or dating, but it’s still exclusive.”
“Jaem.” You paused and studied Chenle closely. The way your mind strayed could simply be because you were interrupted right when an indescribable amount of heat flooded your body, but at this point, it didn’t even matter.
“What?”
“Why don’t we let him watch?” You tugged Jaemin closer to you and made brief eye contact with him before you dipped down to leave open-mouthed kisses along his neck.
Jaemin let out a shaky breath. “Is that what you want?”
“Ask him.”
Chenle stood there, watching you with laser focus as your hand moved down to palm Jaemin’s bulge through his jeans. His lips parted, tongue running over the edges of his teeth.
“Well?” Jaemin sighed. “Sit down and watch or get the fuck out.”
Without wasting another second, Chenle sat in the recliner and rested his elbows on his knees while he leaned forward.
You did this for two reasons—one, you’d always been attracted to Chenle. You’d always wondered what it’d be like to screw around with him, too, but that was mostly before things started with Jaemin. Two, having someone watch the two of you meant Jaemin would be going all out. He’d want to turn you into a moaning mess, to show that he was the one who made you feel good.
Jaemin is a tender lover, the type that memorizes every inch of your body and uses it accordingly. He’d be rough with you if you asked him too, but his favorite thing is watching you fall apart over and over again as he takes his time and pays attention to details. He knows when you’re close, the specific way to rub your clit to send you over the edge when his hips rutt against yours.
That day, Chenle did watch you. He didn’t get to do much more than that, but he got to witness the way Jaemin worshiped you. The way every single touch of his was deliberate in bringing you to the utmost peak of your pleasure—you went higher and higher every time you were with Jaemin.
He didn’t just watch, though. Not when Jaemin’s head was buried between your thighs, tongue-fucking you to oblivion. Chenle had taken himself out of his shorts and jerked himself off to the sound of your pleasure. When Jaemin finally slid his thick cock into you, he buried his head in your neck and kissed, licked, nipped, everything you liked. He fucked you with such precision, all while you were spread out wide on his couch, fully naked and on display for Chenle.
Jaemin paid him no attention. Only you. Only ever you.
“You fuck her raw?” Chenle’s voice was strained as his hand matched the pace Jaemin thrusted into you.
“Feels good.” Jaemin nodded, breath hitching when you clench around him. “Such a tight little pussy.”
A moan slipped past Chenle’s lips. The sound had you digging your nails into Jaemin’s shoulders. At that moment, you made eye contact with Chenle, and his hand jerked his cock faster. He started cursing quietly, eyebrows furrowing as he neared his end. Jaemin reached between the two of you and rubbed his perfect circles on your clit, and as your orgasm hit you hard, your back arched and you couldn’t contain your scream of pleasure.
When your vision unblurred, you saw Chenle with ropes of white on his T-shirt and his head dropped against the back of the chair. He gulped, trying his best to calm down. Jaemin groaned in your ear and spilled deep inside you, rocking his hips to help you come down from one of the best orgasms you’d had in a long time.
A week or so later when Jaemin gave you permission to initiate a similar relationship with Chenle, you didn’t hesitate. Luckily for you, Jaemin wasn’t possessive, and as long as you were still equally as interested in him, he didn’t care if you fucked Chenle, too.
The first time you did, you were floored and amazed by the differences between the two. Jaemin was tender, caring, gentle. You were royalty in his eyes, something to be worshiped. Chenle, on the other hand, was rough by default. He called you names that had your toes curling that Jaemin would probably punch him in the face for saying.
From that day forward, you fucked one of the two depending on your mood. They respected it and never questioned you, and the arrangement worked so well. Although the two of them stayed separate—they’d never fucked you at the same time, nor did either of them suggest it.
A shame, really.
And now, here you are—surrounded by your five oblivious friends and your two fuck buddies. What could go wrong?
Jaemin was good at being subtle, but when Chenle wanted to fuck you, you knew. A dark look would form in his eyes and they’d sharpen. Jaemin showed his want in more subtle ways, like when his touch would linger a tad too long on your shoulder, or when he’d move past you and touch your waist.
After the rest of the boys leave, Chenle and Jaemin stay behind. This isn’t unnatural, and honestly, they’ve been closer lately than they’ve been in a long time. You settle between them on the couch, closing your eyes and leaning your head on Chenle’s shoulder.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah.” You nod.
Chenle puts his hand on your thigh, moving it higher and higher until it sits at the edge of your denim shorts. You immediately clench your legs together. Since that first time Chenle watched you and Jaemin, nothing like that had happened again. To have him touching you like this with Jaemin right next to you spurs thoughts in you that you’re unsure if either of them would be down with.
Chenle’s fingers slide beneath your shorts, teasingly rubbing along your skin. You glance over at Jaemin, sucking in a sharp breath when you see his eyes locked where you’re being touched.
“Look at you, Princess.” He clicks his tongue, brushing your hair behind your ear. “He’s barely touching you.”
Wetness pools at your core.
Chenle drags his nails across the hem of your panties. “Always so wet and ready. Bet you’d beg for cock, wouldn’t you?”
“Wouldn’t she look so good stuffed with two?” Jaemin reaches beneath your shirt and tugs your bra down to free your breasts. You gasp when he rolls your nipple.
“Fuck, she’d go crazy with you fucking her pussy and me fucking that pretty mouth.” His moves further, barely brushing against your clothed core. “What do you say, pretty girl? You want us both?”
Between Chenle’s teasing and Jaemin playing with your breasts, you can’t do anything but whine. You’ve dreamed of taking them both since Chenle watched you and Jaemin.
“Of course, she does,” Jaemin coos. “Look at her squirming already. We’ve barely even touched her.”
“Please.” You gasp, lifting your hips to try and get Chenle to apply more pressure.
“Who do you want to stretch you out?” Jaemin asks, pulling your shirt over your head before quickly unclasping your bra. “Don’t be shy, baby. Tell us who you want.”
“Both,” you moan. “Don’t stop touching me, please.”
Jaemin leans down to kiss over your chest while Chenle’s lips connect with your neck. You whimper, toes already curling at the feeling of their tongues leaving wet trails on you.
Chenle pops the button on your shorts, the undeniably simple motion making heat swarm every inch of your body. He tugs them off of you. You’re left in a pair of lace panties, but both of the boys are fully clothed. You pull Jaemin away from your breasts to kiss him hard, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt while Chenle fingers dance down your body to your core.
“God, Jaem, she’s soaked.” Chenle lets out a relaxed sigh. “Perfect little cockslut.”
When a shudder runs through you, Jaemin hums against your lips. “Did you like that, Princess? You like when he touches your pretty pussy while he thinks about fucking you like a whore?”
As the words leave Jaemin’s mouth, Chenle’s thumb presses against your clit through your panties and you slam your thighs together. Holy shit, that really just came out of his mouth. Your legs shake as you squirm.
“Don’t be like that,” Jaemin says, gripping one of your thighs while the other man grabs the other. The two of them wrench them apart so Chenle can continue his work.
“You want me to make you cum?” he asks, lips brushing the tip of your ear. “Gonna make you finish so much today, and you’re gonna take it like the good little slut you are.”
You nod, dropping your head back on the cushions. “Please. Please.”
He moves your soaked panties to the side, sliding two fingers in with ease. His palm presses into your clit with every thrust of his hand, and his tongue licks along your pulse. The two men are much too strong, and any attempts to close your legs is futile.
Jaemin latches on to the other side of your neck, nipping the base of it. You try your best to rock your hips, but the magic happening inside you doesn’t require your help. It never does when it comes to them.
Chenle adds a third, breath shuddering at how easy you take it, how much the wetness gushes around his fingers.
“Look at you,” Jaemin whispers. “So good at taking what we give you.”
You can’t even come up with coherent words. You end up mumbling gibberish at him as the bubble starts to form. It takes one last brush of Chenle’s palm on your sensitive bud to send you flying over the edge, your back arching as a scream leaves your lips.
The three of you sit in silence for a moment, even as Chenle gently thrusts his hand to help you come down from your high. The only sound is your rough breathing.
Jaemin reaches up to caress your face. “Why don’t you go wait in the bedroom? We’ll be in in a second.”
Although the last thing you want to do is separate yourself from them, you stand on shaky legs anyway. Chenle quickly grabs a handful of your ass, squeezing it before giving it a rough smack.
You’re only alone for a couple minutes at most before they follow you in. Having them both in front of you and towering over you is intimidating this way, but you don’t shy away from them.
Chenle grabs a pillow from the bed, tossing it on the floor in front of Jaemin while the latter pulls his shirt over his head and starts undoing his pants. 
“Didn’t want you to hurt your knees while you suck my cock,” Jaemin says, gesturing to the pillow. “Take your panties off and show me why you deserve to get fucked.”
You quickly do what he says, knees sinking into the soft fabric as your mouth waters at the sight of him pulling his pants down. You’re so concentrated on Jaemin, you almost don’t notice Chenle below you. His head rests down on the pillow, his hands already moving to explore the expanse of your legs.
“What are you doing?” Your face burns at the thousands of thoughts racing through you brain.
“None of that.” Jaemin grips your chin and lifts so you have to look at him. “Don’t pay him any attention when I need you like this.”
His shirt is absent from his chest, hard planes of muscle on display for you. You crave to lick him all over. He pushes his jeans and his boxers down his legs, eyes closing when you waste no time. You wrap your hand around his rock hard cock, jerking him slowly while you prepare yourself to take him in your mouth.
You take his tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around. When you feel Chenle’s hands exploring the back of your thighs, you gasp. Jaemin uses the opportunity of your widened mouth to push himself further inside. He gently grips your hair, guiding you since you’re so distracted by what the other man is doing between your legs. You try to breathe through your nose, hollow your cheeks, do anything to aid in Jaemin’s pleasure, but your entire body shudders when Chenle squeezes your ass. You moan, reaching forward to grip Jaemin’s legs. That’s the only way you’ll keep yourself afloat between the both of them.
Your eyes water when Jaemin hits the back of your throat, causing it to constrict around him. He lets out a groan, his grasp tightening slightly. You feel Chenle shift below you, but you’re much too preoccupied to ask or see what he’s doing.
Hands still massaging your ass, Chenle presses a kiss to your throbbing clit. Your whine is barely heard while muffled by the cock thrusting into your mouth. Your knees wobble as Chenle flattens his tongue and licks up your slit, nails digging into your skin.
“That’s it, Princess,” Jaemin coos. “Your mouth is so perfect.”
You take initiative then, bobbing your head and taking him in as deep as you can while you grind down on Chenle’s tongue. Your moans increase in frequency as his lips wrap around your bud and his fingers circle your entrance.
Between the heavy cock on your tongue and the stimulation of your clit, your orgasm builds much faster than you anticipate. You never want this to be over. All you want is to be between them forever, feeling unimaginable pleasure at their hands.
“You’re doing so good,” Jaemin mutters.
You’re building and building and building, and then Chenle curls his fingers, and you scream around Jaemin. His hips buck involuntarily into your face, slamming his tip into the back of your throat. He pulls out of your mouth, chest heaving as he watches you crumble onto the man below you.
Chenle yanks you down until you’re sitting on his face, and he brings you down from your high gently.
“Fuck, that was close,” Jaemin groans, tugging his fingers through his hair. “Let her go now.”
One last lick to your entrance, and Chenle’s sliding out from under you, offering you help in standing up. His face glistens with your arousal, and unbelievably, it sends another wave of heat through your body. You kiss him, sighing at the taste of yourself on his lips.
Jaemin’s hands find your waist, squeezing you gently. “Get on the bed, baby. All fours.”
Your body is tingling from your recent orgasm when you pull away from Chenle to do as Jaemin says. Barely able to hold yourself up, you clench around nothing in excitement when the bed dips behind you.
They’re both out of sight, but you can always tell who’s touching you. Jaemin’s touches were soft and deliberate, and Chenle’s were rough and messy. Two completely different styles, but either way, they had you craving them both somehow.
“You ready for me?” Jaemin whispers, teasing your cunt with his cock. “You’re so fucking soaked.”
You only have to wonder about Chenle briefly, wondering where he’s at, because he climbs on the bed in front of you, the rest of his clothes shed and precum dripping from his tip. Your mouth waters all over again.
“Go easy on me, pretty girl.” Chenle bunches your hair in a ponytail. “I still want to fuck you when he’s done.”
Your eyes widen. Knowing Jaemin, there’s no way he’ll fuck you without making you cum. You’re already weak from the first two orgasms Chenle’s given to you, and the idea of four sounds so far-fetched. No way you’ll make it that many—your body would probably fall apart limb from limb.
Chenle taps the head of his cock against your lips, and you instinctively open your mouth for him. As he pushes in, Jaemin follows suit, both of them moving slowly, deliberately taking their sweet time in stretching you open to the max. Everything about this is perfect. Your wetness drips down your thighs and your toes curl and you feel so hazy and full.
You use your tongue to tease Chenle, stroking the underside of his cock and tracing along the prominent vein. Jaemin feels heavenly, his thick member plunging into you at a steady pace. Your legs and arms shake trying to keep yourself up. The last thing you should’ve done is tease Chenle, because he pushes himself so far into your mouth, he’s down your throat and your nose is against his pelvis.
“You’re too easy on her,” Chenle says to Jaemin, breath shuddering when you gag around him. “She’s just a little slut, begging to get fucked by both of us at the same time.”
Jaemin grips your hips, his working against you in fluid, steady motions. You feel them both everywhere. Even now, getting everything you wanted, you need more. The pleasure makes you delirious, your vision blurry and faded as Jaemin’s cock rubs against your walls in the most satisfying of ways. You lose track of how many sounds are muffled by Chenle. 
“Fuck,” Jaemin murmurs. “She fucking like that. She just got so tight.”
“Told you.” Chenle lets out a short, breathy laugh as he quickens his pace.
Jaemin reaches around you, reaching down to find your clit. He never fails to touch you in a way so perfect, you’re ready to crumble within seconds. Your jaw and arms ache, but it only aids your experience. 
Chenle pulls out of your mouth slowly, watching as a trail of spit stretches from your lips. Then he yanks your head back to make you look at him. The motion is so rough, tears spring into your eyes. You’re finally able to breathe properly, the whines, moans, and screams finally out in the air. He traces over your surely swollen lips with his thumb, gaze dark. Jaemin’s thrusts are met with lewd sounds of your wetness and skin slapping against skin.
“Be a good girl and cum for Jaem, slut.” Chenle tsks, pulling at your lip.
And you shatter, the loudest sound you’ve ever made escaping from you as Jaemin fucks you steady through your third orgasm. You can barely breathe, gasping as you quake. It doesn’t take long for Jaemin to follow suit, two more thrusts before he holds you against him, spilling deep inside you.
“As fun as the show has been,” Chenle begins, letting go of your hair. “I’m gonna need a turn before my balls fucking burst.”
Your arms can no longer keep you up, so your face falls into the mattress. Overstimulation has tears running down your cheeks, but nothing matters to you except finishing what you started.
Jaemin gives himself a second before he pulls out of you. He continues to hold your hips up until Chenle’s able to take his spot. Massaging your ass, he gives you a little bit to calm down.
“Be careful,” Jaemin mutters to Chenle.
You imagine the glare the latter gives in return.
“She’ll tell me if it’s too much.” He traces a finger up your spine. “Wouldn’t you?”
Unable to speak, you nod fervently, pushing back to encourage him. You’ve never been so overwhelmed in your life, but you craved more. A whimper falls from your lips as Chenle prods at your entrance.
“I know, baby,” he murmurs, gently scratching up and down your back. “You’re so fucking sexy, you know that? Wanting my cock when another man’s cum is still leaking out of you.”
You push back further, yearning for the stretch. They’re similar sizes, but Chenle’s thicker just enough for you to notice. No coherent thoughts swirl in your mind as you turn your head to look at Jaemin across the room.
His boxers are back on, and a tiny glimpse of worry spreads across his face. Your eyes roll all the way back as Chenle slides inside, every nerve-ending in your body on fire. He’s surprisingly gentle with you, barely rocking his hips to help you adjust to him and the sensitivity.
Jaemin makes his way over to you. Kneeling by the edge of the bed so he’s right in front of you. Your walls flutter incessantly around Chenle’s cock.
“You take us so well.” He brushes your hair stuck to your forehead from the sweat. “We’ll take care of you, Princess. You just gotta cum one more time, then we’ll take such good care of you.”
You whine at the thought of a fourth orgasm, but you nod. Jaemin’s thumb brushes your cheek, swiping away the tears. His lips meet yours, easily prying yours open so he can slide his tongue in your mouth. A low sound emanates from Chenle as his grip on you tightens. He thrusts faster, desperate for your attention, slamming himself inside you regardless of sensitivity.
You tremble, fisting the sheets as you cry out into Jaemin’s mouth. He stays put, but Chenle picks up his pace, his throbbing cock fucking you open.
“Good girl,” Chenle groans, his voice borderline whiny. Through his steady pace, his balls slap your clit with every thrust. You jolt each time, the sensitivity wreaking havoc on your body the closer you get.
When you explode around him, it’s sudden and quick. You hold onto the back of Jaemin’s neck, whimpering and gasping for air as if you can’t breathe. Chenle stutters, the clamp of your walls making him dig his fingers into your ass.
An elongated moan leaves his mouth as he bursts inside you. He stays inside you for a moment to allow himself to calm down. When he finally pulls out, he guides your practically limp body down to the mattress. Your chest heaves while you try to catch your breath, but the only thing you feel anymore is the overwhelming urge to fall asleep.
“You okay, baby?” Jaemin asks, tilting his head. “You know you look so pretty like this, right? With your lips swollen, eyes red and drooping…To think we made you this way…” he trails off, humming to himself.
When Chenle comes back, he’s got his boxers on and a towel in his hand. He turns you over, moving the cloth between your legs. You whine when it rubs against your sensitive bud, and Chenle whispers an apology to you.
“You should really take a bath or you’ll be sticky all night,” Chenle says as he wipes down your legs.
You shake your head.
Jaemin chuckles, a tiny smile gracing his face as he regards you. “Look how tired she is.”
 Chenle does his best to clean you up, and then he moves over you to give you a gentle kiss. You sigh in content, relishing in one of the rare moments of Chenle’s affection.
When it comes to after any given activity, Chenle always stays with you. He curls up in bed with you and kisses your face until both of you are ready to fall asleep.
Jaemin, on the other hand, is the opposite. At the beginning, it was your mutual understanding that one of you would leave.
Today, Jaemin watches as Chenle settles next to you, intrigued even more so when you curl into his chest and let out a deep breath. He decides he isn’t going to be the odd man out, so he joins.
The three of you sleep with limbs so tangled, you barely know who they belong to anymore.
310 notes · View notes
atlabeth · 11 months
Note
Hey! I saw your requests were open so I was wondering if I could get an angsty/sad Anthony Lockwood x reader? Maybe they're friends or work together, and there's pining? Ending up to you :) Anyways, thank you for your time! Have a wonderful day!
are we too young for this? - anthony lockwood
summary: there was the illusion when you were younger, that you would be together forever. the day you walk back into 35 portland row, you know that illusion is broken.
a/n: thank you for the request! this definitely is angsty and there's not really a happy ending lol. this idea popped into my head as soon as this came into my inbox and i think it's an interesting one so hopefully you all like it. it's like "what if lockwood had any normal non-ghost hunting friends" and the result is sadness. thank you again for the request i hope you like it! title from softcore by the neighborhood
wc: 3.3k
warning(s): childhood friends to lowkey strangers with a hint of very sad possible lovers lmao </3 angst, pining that goes nowhere, not a happy ending it just kind of. ends. mentions/discussions of familial death, some crying, just sad all around. this gif is you all kicking me for writing this
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You couldn’t help the haste with which you hurried down the sidewalk with. Night was steadily falling, your arms ached with the weight of your bags, and you were sure you were going to be late for dinner. Of course, it wasn’t your brightest idea to head out on errands so late, but it also wasn’t your fault that the bus was so late. 
As you continued down the sidewalk at a pace rivaling the slowest of racers, your eyes darted around your surroundings as an instinct. The ghost lamps hadn’t turned on yet, the Ainsworths were walking their dog together, the light was on at 35 Portland Row. 
You almost didn’t even question it, almost continued walking, but then you froze in your steps. 
The light was on at 35 Portland Row? 
You nearly dropped your groceries as you ran up the steps, furiously knocking on the door until it swung open. You weren’t met by Anthony—instead, a boy wearing glasses with dark, messy curls stared at you. 
“Can I help you?” he asked, rather tartly. He looked down at the bag in your hand. “Are you Arif’s girl?” 
You shook your head, though it took you a moment to gather your bearings. “No, I’m not. Um— does Anthony Lockwood still live here?” 
“Did you see the sign outside the door?” he asked, pointing a finger at the fence. 
You blinked. “No.” 
He just stood there, brows raised, and you realized that he wanted you to go down and look. With a sigh, you went down the steps and over to the fence, and your jaw dropped when you read it. 
A.J. Lockwood & Co., Investigators
After dark, ring bell and wait beyond the iron line. 
“He started an agency?” you asked incredulously. 
“You know him?” the boy asked in turn. He seemed incredibly bored with this conversation. 
“Is he in right now?” You paced back up the stairs, trying to peer behind the boy inside the house. “I have to talk to Anthony.” 
The boy studied you for a moment before he sighed and stepped aside. “He’s in the basement. Take a seat wherever—I’ll get him.” 
You nodded thankfully as you walked in, and he shut the door behind you. It had been a while since you’d stepped inside the house, and everything felt different and the same at once. 
It was a lot more of a mess than it used to be. As soon as you stepped in you noticed there were granules of salt scattered near the entrance, telltale signs of salt bombs. A stray rapier laid on the kitchen table, over a large white tablecloth that seemed to have words and symbols scribbled haphazardly all over it. You nearly tripped over a bucket of water, housing boots with glowing green stains on them, and everywhere you looked there seemed to be artifacts of every kind. 
It was as busy as you remembered, as crowded as you remembered, but it was crowded with the mess of underage agents rather than the organized chaos of researchers. 
It really had been a long time. 
“Um— may I ask who you are?” You introduced yourself as a middle ground, offering a slight smile to the boy. 
“George Karim,” he said. “I’m Lockwood’s deputy.” 
Lockwood. Not Anthony— Lockwood. 
You nodded, perhaps a few times too many, and you took a seat on the couch. Your spot, actually, as it always had been whenever you were over at his house. You noticed with delight that the pillow you’d crocheted for his mother still sat against the side. It was your personal thanks to her for letting you spend so many nights at their house, and though the yarn was slightly worn and a few loose ends stuck out, it was in remarkably good shape. Especially considering the state of the rest of the house. 
“What are you here for?” George asked, rather bluntly. “Are you a client?” 
“Not a client,” an achingly familiar voice answered, “a friend.” 
You whirled around, immediately shooting up from your seat and breaking into a smile at the sight of Anthony. “You’re back.” 
“That I am.” He smiled back at you, and though it was like the thousands of times he’d smiled at you before, there was something heavier in it. You couldn’t help but notice the bags under his eyes. 
“She just showed up at the door,” George said. “Asked to see you by name. She wouldn’t leave.” 
“Good.” Anthony quickly closed the distance and pulled you into a hug, one you returned with vigor. It had been far too long since you were in his arms, and it wasn’t long enough when you both pulled away. “What’s brought you here?” 
You laughed shakily. “Um, the sign on your door. Actually, I saw the light was on first, and it hadn’t been on in a while, so I thought I would—” you cleared your throat, your eyes flicking away for a moment. “See if you were here. Still.” 
Understanding passed through Anthony’s eyes, and he nodded. “I finished my grades recently, and I decided it was time to go out on my own.” 
“Your own,” you repeated. 
He nodded again and, a credit to his intelligence, didn’t let you continue in that vein. “Where have you been? I feel like it’s been forever.” 
“It sort of has,” you said with a slight laugh. “I’ve been busy at school. My parents— they sent me to boarding school.” 
“Boarding school?” Both boys spoke at the same time, but where Anthony was surprised, George was almost disgusted. 
You nodded. “Boarding school.” 
“You’ve got no Talent,” George realized. 
You blinked at his bluntness, but he wasn’t wrong. “Guilty.” 
“George,” Anthony said, eyes never leaving your face, “could you give us a moment alone?” 
“Gladly,” he mumbled. George walked off, and then it was just the two of you. 
You, a star pupil at boarding school with the boring aspirations of becoming a solicitor. Anthony, a star seer starting his own agency so he could better march headfirst into death. 
“You’re still alive.” It had been what you wanted to say the moment he walked back into your life, but only now could you find the courage. 
“I’m still alive,” he agreed. 
“You’re starting your own agency.” You looked around, brows slightly creased. A position they’d been stuck in since the moment you read the sign on the railing. “Where are your supervisors? Where— where are the rest of your agents?” 
“It’s just us,” Anthony said. “George and I. Two is really all you need for most cases.” 
“Just you and George?” You continued to look around, gesturing with your hand for no reason at all. “It— it can’t just be you and George. It can’t be just you and George against every ghost in London.” 
“Technically, it’s not every ghost in London,” he said. “Just the ones ailing our clients.” 
“That’s not what I mean, Anthony!” You let out a frustrated sigh, using your gesturing hand to rake it through your hair. “It can’t just be the two of you.” 
“I don’t see why not.” 
“Because entire teams die out in the field, Anthony,” you ground out. “Entire teams, from Fittes and Rotwell and Tendy’s and— and Grimble, they die out in the field. They’ve got adults, they’ve got backup, they’ve got every bloody thing they need at their disposal, and you think—” Your voice broke, and you took a deep breath. “And you think you can do it alone?”
“I’m not alone,” Anthony said. “I’ve got George.” 
“You really don’t get it,” you whispered with a pained laugh, “do you?” 
“Can I get you some tea?” Anthony offered that smile again, and it should’ve been the same but it wasn’t. 
“I don’t want tea, I want you to see what the hell you’re doing!” you exclaimed. “We had this exact same conversation when you went off to do your grades with— with that freelancer. I woke up every morning and wondered if you hadn’t. I went to bed every night and wondered if you hadn’t. It drove me insane, Anthony, and it’s part of the reason my parents sent me so far off for boarding school! I couldn’t stop thinking about you and what you were doing, and now you’re telling me that you’re not only going to be an agent, but you’re doing it with one other boy as young as you are?” 
“I don’t know what else I can tell you except that it’s going to be okay!” Anthony ran a hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I told you I would be okay when I went off with Sykes, and I was. Why can you not just trust in my ability— trust in me?” 
“You know why I can’t just trust,” you uttered. “We’ve both been through this before, Anthony.” 
He opened his mouth to say something, but it just shut as he stared at you with desperation in his eyes. It took him a moment to gather himself. 
“I…” Anthony sighed, looking at you fully. “I thought about you every day that I was gone, same as you. Wondering how you were doing, what I would say when I got back. Because I knew I would come back.” 
You bit your lip. Whereas you’d shrunk into yourself after you lost your brother, Anthony forced himself to be more confident, more sure of anything and everything when he found himself on his own. You supposed he had no other choice. 
And right now, it felt like you didn’t have one either. 
“I have to go,” you murmured absently. “It’s getting late.” 
You picked up your bags from the couch, your lips pressing into a sad excuse for a smile as you walked past him. Anthony said your name, the pleading of it all almost enough to make you stop, but you continued on your way. 
“Have a good night, Anthony,” you said. 
And then you walked out. 
-
Dinner with your parents was hollow. They talked and joked around you, tried to include you in conversation, but you felt none of the usual warmth. 
You couldn’t stop thinking about Anthony and his fated stubbornness, about that stupid sign on the railing and his stupid agency, and try as you might, you couldn’t stop thinking about your brother. 
Your parents were kind enough not to ask any questions behind the cursory ‘are you okay’s, leaving you to your own devices when they retired for the night. You wondered if they knew that Anthony was back, and if so, if they knew all this agency business. 
Maybe they did. Maybe they just thought it would be better to not tell you, because they knew you would act exactly the way you were acting. 
You just sat on the couch, staring at the required reading on your lap as the whir of the washing machine filled your ears, unable to absorb any of the words. 
You grew up next door to Anthony, and it didn’t take long for the two of you to become friends. You bumped into each other on walks with your family, you saw each other at the supermarket, and soon enough you were knocking on each other's doors begging the other’s parents to allow for hangouts. You became the best of friends with the biggest aspirations for life, aspirations that the world was sure to crush. 
Tragedy struck a multitude of times, first in your brother, then his parents, and lastly his sister. You lost count of the nights you spent sleeping over with each other when you couldn’t stand to be alone—in the first few months after his parents, he practically lived at your house—sometimes talking through the late hours, sometimes crying through them. Either way, you did it together.
You did everything together, and then Anthony went where you couldn’t follow. 
After Jessica’s death, he withdrew into himself. It took a while to break through, and it felt like just as you did, Anthony was telling you his decision to go off and study under a freelancer that went by the Gravedigger of all names. You questioned if you would ever see him again, and he assured you with a smile that of course you would. 
How many nights you spent staring at the ceiling questioning why you had been born without talent, you couldn’t remember.
And now Anthony was back, and he was throwing himself even further into his work, into danger, and it was like you were reliving the empty months all over again.
The knock on the door rang out, jarring you from your thoughts, and you knew who it was immediately. You still took a moment of pause before you pushed the book off your lap and walked over to the door, your lips pressing into a thin line when you opened it and saw Anthony. 
“Can we talk?” he asked bluntly.
You stepped aside wordlessly, adjusting the iron charm that hung over the door after you closed it. 
“I like what you’ve done with the place,” Anthony said. 
“I haven’t done any of it,” you said. “I only got back the other day. My parents did all the holiday decorating while I was away.” 
“Ah.” He still smiled. “It looks lovely either way. Very festive.”  
“They’ll be happy to hear it.” 
Anthony sighed, finally turning to look back at you and your crossed arms. “Has it really been that long?” 
You glanced away. “I don’t know what you mean.” 
“Long enough that we’ve been reduced to niceties.” He shrugged. “We’ve always known what each other meant without even having to ask. We could have entire conversations just with eye contact, and now you can hardly even look at me.” 
“I guess it has been that long,” you murmured. “You’ve been off training to become an agent, and I’ve been off doing schoolwork.” 
“That’s never stood in the way before.” Anthony gestured with his hand, his laugh strained. “Remember what we said when we were younger? That we would always be friends, that— that we would always be together.” 
“That was before everything changed,” you said quietly. 
“Before my parents,” he said bluntly. “Before our siblings.” 
You blinked away tears, turning away so he couldn’t see. It had been years and the simple mention of him was still enough to open the wound again. Maybe it never really closed. 
“I just don’t understand how you want to be an agent after everything that’s happened,” you said. 
“I don’t expect you to understand it,” Anthony said. “I just know that it was what I was meant to do.” 
That got you. You turned around, disbelief painted on your face, and you shook your head. “How can it be what you’re meant to do, Anthony? People— children— die every single goddamn day! How can anyone be meant for that?” 
“Because I’m able to help people,” he said. “I’ve got what some people call the best Sight they’ve seen in a long time, and if I can use it to help innocent people be rid of Visitors, I’m going to.” 
“Why does it have to be you?” You gave up trying to hide your emotion, your voice cracking in full force. “Why does it have to be you on your own?” 
“Fittes and Rotwell…” he shook his head. “They’ve lost sight of what this is all meant for. They don’t care. Lockwood and Co will care.” 
“You’re needlessly reckless,” you said. “I mean— you don’t even see it! You’ve been on your own for so long with only ghosts for company that you’ve forgotten there are still people out there that care about you.” You wiped away a loose tear in frustration. “People like me, Anthony.” 
He stayed silent. 
“You will never have any respite,” you continued. “People make errors in their jobs every day and they move on— if you make an error, that’s it. A— am I going to find out you’re dead the same way I found out about all this? I’m going to come home for the holidays, I’m going to see that sign on your fence is gone, someone new has moved into 35 Portland Row, and that’s going to be it.” 
“That’s not going to happen,” he said. 
“And how can you be so sure?” 
“I’m better with a rapier than any agent in London, my Sight has only grown more powerful, and I’ve got connections,” Anthony said. “George used to work with Fittes, he’s an all-rounder, and he is the best researcher I’ve ever seen. We’re going to be fine.” 
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “That’s exactly what my brother told me.” 
Anthony’s face softened, and you felt like you were ten again. Sitting on the floor of the living room with him, watching some old-timey movie your parents had on DVD as you passed a bowl of popcorn between you two. The door rang, you ran over to get it, and you were met by two stone-faced men. 
“Are your parents home, miss?” 
Anthony said your name, but you shook your head. 
“I already lost him,” you said quietly. “I’m not going to sit around and watch as you throw yourself into danger and lose you too.” 
“Then I guess this is it,” Anthony said. 
Your throat burned. “I guess it is.” 
The two of you stared at each other for a good long while—it was like Anthony was trying to call your bluff, trying to see if you were going to fold. But you meant every word. You loved him too much to watch him face death on every job, not when you couldn’t do a single thing about it. 
You let Anthony pull you into a hug, and try as you might you just couldn’t. The dam broke inside of you and you wrapped your arms around him as tight as possible, a silent goodbye that meant everything. 
Perhaps it was selfish, pushing him away on your own terms because you couldn’t stand to watch him meet his fate. Throwing away a decade of friendship all because you were too weak to wait with bated breath every time he went on a job, to go back to staring at pictures of you two together when you were kilometers away at school wondering if he was still alive. 
But you wouldn’t— you couldn’t— go through it again. You had no Talent, so you had no choice but to stand idly by as children better and braver than you went out into the field to keep the streets of London safe. As Anthony risked his name showing up in the obituaries every day. 
You wondered every day if things would have been different had you been different, if you had been able to follow your brother to Grimble. And now, if you were able to join Anthony’s agency to make sure he didn’t lose himself. Your brother had been facing his death without fear for five years until it finally caught up to him, and the darkest part of you couldn’t help but think when it would catch up to Anthony as well. 
He pressed a kiss to your forehead before he pulled away, and you could have dissolved into tears right there. You always wondered if he knew how you felt about him. It was a shame you’d never get to see what could have been. 
“I promise that everything will be okay,” he murmured. “My door will always be open to you.” 
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, you wanted to say. You’re the same age as he was and I can’t stop thinking about it. 
But instead, you just nodded. “Stay alive.” 
There was a glimmer of sadness in his smile. “I couldn’t do anything less with you around.” 
You managed a watery laugh, and you bit down hard on your lip. You couldn’t cry anymore. 
“I’ll see you soon,” Anthony said, stopping in the doorway after he opened it. A promise to himself more than you. 
“I hope so,” was all you could say. 
Anthony bowed his head to you, closed the door behind him, and then he was gone. 
193 notes · View notes
sevlinop · 19 days
Text
20 Fic Questions
Thanks for tagging me @angelosearch! I've tagged a lot of people recently, so instead of tagging anyone specifically I'll just leave this open for whoever's interested!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 36!
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 67,772.
3. What fandoms do you write for? So many. I'd say Final Fantasy, Persona, and Fire Emblem are the big ones though. I'd like to write more Zelda soon!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? -"Nighttime Escapades" (219), "Maya and Tatsuya Offline" (104), "Link Visit's Sidon" (73), "Clumsy Frieren" (66), "A Port In a Storm" (64).
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, always! I love reading them, and they make my day! :) Only exception is occasionally I'll get spam or something.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? "From Up On Her Throne" Is my darkest fic so far. An Ultimecia character study, so not exactly uplifting lol.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of what I write is happy or uplifting. One of my Frieren fics, "Anytime, Anywhere". Is probably my fluffiest happy one.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Almost never, only time was this person (or bot.) who kept posting bible verses on any fics with LGBT pairings. Was mostly annoying because the comments were so damn long it took forever to scroll down to the delete button lol.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? That's most of the fics I've written! At the moment though I'm gravitating away from it, kinda burned out.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? No offense to anyone who likes them but I just really don't care for crossover fics for the most part, hahaha. The most I may do someday is like, a crossover between two FF games or something. Which barely counts in my book.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes!! I recently had my Apothecary Diaries fic, "Nighttime Escapades" translated into Russian. Still so happy about that!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't, closest I've had is a beta reader. I'd be open to trying it though!
14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Zelink or Cloti! Though I'll admit shipping isn't the primary reason I write fics.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Too many to name honestly. I've written plenty of stuff I've never posted, most of what I've posted the past few months I've been back on Ao3 is stuff I wrote a while ago.
16. What are your writing strengths? The big picture part of writing is where I think I shine. Like establishing the main theme of my story, a character's central conflict, interesting broad ideas I want to explore, etc. I'm definitely a discovery writer mores than a planner.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Honestly I struggle with stuff like descriptions, making a scene progress naturally, giving characters unique voices. All the stuff that's more nitty gritty, it doesn't come naturally to me. Oh, and plenty of grammatical mistakes.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I probably would try to avoid it! I only speak English and wouldn't want to just use google translate or something. So unless I know someone who speaks the language, I wouldn't include it.
19. First fandom you wrote for? I think Naruto on FFN years and years ago, or The Legend of Zelda.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written? It's very bold to claim since it's not far along at all, but already love "A Poisoned History."! Though "Maya and Tatsuya Offline" is my best smut fic, since I did a good job with writing the buildup.
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bripops · 4 months
Note
omg I'm so giddy I cannot decide which WIP to ask you about because they all sound flipping amazing but maybe 3 or 6, whichever you feel happiest with rn? (ps first time caller, long time listener -- just wanna say I'm a huge huge fan of all your fics)
AHH OMG I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY ASK ME ANYTHING, YOU GET ALL OF THE ABOVE
3. hopeless, breathless, burning slow [horny dirk gently treatise]
So this one is actually published [ao3 link], but I put it in there because it was published recently and I thought the working title was funny lmao. It was honestly a classic example of this post that's like "yeah bro it's a character study. the 2 thousand words of blowjob is vital to the study of the character" where I wanted to write Dirk getting absolutely railed but I also wanted to talk about why getting absolutely railed is a profound, important thing to him. 5,000 words later, that was the result lol
6. it's dangerous (I'm falling) [megstiel fuckfest]
okay so I've been on the megstiel hype squad forever and got the idea a few years back for a s7 canon divergence AU. the basic plot is that after Cas takes on Sam's madness, he ends up giving his grace to the Winchesters to use as a nuke against the Leviathans, and Meg ends up in the same caretaker role for him because he's not quite human but he's also definitely not an angel and needs to be kept out of the way while they figure it all out. the two of them end up in a shitty apartment trying to figure out where Castiel's limits are, which is of course a deeply satisfying experience for Meg that turns sexual REALLY quickly. they bond over shared trauma, daddy issues, teaching Cas how to smoke a joint, and sexually charged sparring scenes. here's a snippet:
“Tell me about the stars, Clarence,” Meg said lazily, looking up at the sky. The city lights washed out a lot of them, but they could still see a few burning above the haze. 
“What would you like to know?” Castiel asked. 
Meg shrugged. “I dunno,” she said, “weren’t you there when they were created or some shit? Gimme something that’ll come in handy at trivia night.”
“You don’t go to trivia night,” Cas said, “and the stars came before I did. They were part of let there be light. I have no memory of their creation.”
“Make something up then,” Meg said. “What about that one?”
She pointed up, and Castiel was more or less able to follow to the star she was looking at. It was particularly bright, blinking in the night sky and if he focused, he could almost make out the shift in color.
“That’s a binary star,” he explained. “It looks like one point of light, but it’s two stars orbiting around a common center. In a few million years they’ll collide and be destroyed on impact.”
“Well shit,” Meg said, pulling another joint out of her pack of cigarettes. Her lighter flickered in the dark and she inhaled deeply. Wordlessly, not looking away from the sky, she held it out to Cas.
He shook his head first before realizing she wouldn’t see it. “No thank you,” he said, “I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough.” His throat was still raw from coughing his way through the first joint.
“Oh come on,” Meg said, propping herself up on her elbows and looking over at Cas. “I’m sure you have a few more hits in you.”
Castiel shook his head again now that she could see him do it, and enjoyed the way his body hummed with the movement. He was relaxed head to toe, his fingertips tingling and his skin hyper-sensitive to every shift against the blanket, every brush of the breeze on his face.
Meg took another hit, and blew the smoke into Castiel’s face. He grumbled, closing his eyes against the sting, and Meg laughed.
“How about we shotgun it,” she offered.
“I don't see what firearms have to do with this," Cas said, frowning. Now probably wasn't the best time to check if he could still shoot a gun; he hadn't even brought one.
Meg laughed. “Oh my god, you’ve been alive for thousands of years and still act like you were born yesterday. C’mere.”
Cas shifted up so he was propped on his elbows too and looked at Meg curiously.
“When I breathe out, you breathe in, okay?”
“What--” Castiel started to say, but she was already taking a drag.
Cas watched her do it, transfixed by the easy way her lips wrapped around the joint and how her chest rose as she inhaled. When she’d taken enough, Meg leaned in close until she was just a few inches from Castiel’s lips. He wondered, in a fuzzy-minded daze, if he was about to be kissed.
Instead, smoke poured out of her mouth, and remembering to do what he was told, Cas breathed in. He filled his lungs, but it burned less, and he was too distracted by Meg’s closeness to mind much.
“Better?” she asked with a smirk.
Cas exhaled, watching the smoke spiral towards the sky.
“Much,” he said, lying back down. He had a full-body buzz that felt like TV static on his brain, making his limbs heavy and his eyes close. He felt Meg shift next to him, and when Castiel opened his eyes again she was leaning over him, almost nose-to-nose.
It was a testament to the weed that he didn’t startle, just blinked up at her.
“Want another?”
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gallavichthings · 1 year
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Writer’s Spotlight - Mhunter10
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Be honest, y’all thought I had abandoned this series, didn’t you? But I hadn’t! In fact, this interview was done a long time ago, but posting was delayed for several reasons. It’s finally here though, and I’m very excited for you to read this one, because the writer we’re spotlighting today is a fandom veteran and one of our most prolific writers. Enter: Malenah, aka @mhunter10​!
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GT: Ok, first of all, I've got to say, I'm so happy you agreed to talk to me! I missed you! How have you been?
M: Been up and down and dealing with some stuff, but I think I'm okay. I definitely miss writing.
GT: And we miss your writing. Is that why you stopped for a while, life just got in the way?
M: Yes, but also the fandom and show wasn't fun anymore. Tumblr policies got annoying and people weren't finding my stuff....people actively stealing my work and reposting without asking.
GT: Oh, that sucks. 😔 When did you join the fandom? And what made you want to? What was it about Shameless (or Gallavich) that captivated you?
M: Oof maybe 2013ish? 2015ish? Whenever Shameless first season was on. I actually didn't even have Showtime, I would literally sit on Tumblr and wait for someone to recap the episode or link a bootleg clip. I've always been into good queer stories as a queer, and Cam and Noel's dynamic was interesting and the sort of cute that makes you squeal like a little girl. 
GT: They've always had a lot of chemistry. Did you start writing fics right away? What made you want to start?
M: I was actually writing for another fandom/couple for a while way before Shameless. For Gallavich I was mainly just making headcanons that sometimes turned into drabbles. Eventually I wrote longer fics and started posting to AO3. I'd respond to someone else's headcanon or idea with a short fic.
GT: A lot of people still do that nowadays. That was one of my favorite things about your fics, actually, the fact that most of them were short and I could get my quick Gallavich fix without compromising my lack of a long attention span. 😅
M: Haha I was the queen of the drabble.
GT: What fandom were you writing for before, if you don't mind me asking? Was it the first you wrote fics for?
M: A soap opera called As the World Turns😅. I was writing fic when it was still airing new episodes in the middle of the day on CBS. I wrote for Luke and Noah and the fics are archived somewhere on the internet forever.
GT: Was it also the first fandom you read fics for?
M: I think so? Lol that sounds right. I also wrote some fics for Eyewitness, the US version.
GT: Let me backtrack, because we went straight into your experience with fandom, but I want to also know a bit about you. Please tell us a bit about yourself. 
M: Oh Haha well I'm 30. Black, bi, live in Maryland. Have a bachelor's and currently getting my master's. Write, paint, sculpt, collect, read, work… mostly work. Work work work. Fall is my favorite season. Libra. Currently have 8 tattoos. Live with my partner, 3 years together. Umm...I've got arthritis and hip dysplasia so lol....anyone wanting to murder me now has everything they need to know and opportunity.
GT: Hahahaha That was very in-depth, indeed! What's your masters about?
M: Organizational Sciences.
GT: I don't know what that is, but it feels like something I should study. 😅 What is it? And do you already work in that field or are branching out?
M: It's akin to industrial psychology...basically, how workplaces work and how to improve the work environment. Definitely has a lot of intangible skills everyone should have an understanding of if you work. It's very meta sometimes lol. Leadership, communications, change management, negotiation, etc.
GT: Oh, that's interesting! You mention you also paint and sculpt? Talk about a well-rounded artist! What got you into those?
M: I've just always been artsy fartsy crafty.....schmafty. Fun fact: walked out of my pottery class first day cuz the professor rubbed me the wrong way....took ballet instead. I'm mostly a painter but I have a lot of little things I've made out of clay just for fun.
GT: Like what? 
M: Mostly small food 😆. I paint whatever. I was an instructor for about 2 years.
GT: If you feel comfortable, could you maybe share a pic or two?
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GT: They're all beautiful, but the one with the blue-haired woman is GORGEOUS! 😍
GT: Let's talk about Shameless. Do you have a favorite season and/or episode? 
M: Yikes, I honestly don't remember much but definitely before the whole show went off the rails. I think 1-4 are standouts, maybe 5 or 6. I only really stayed for Gallavich. 
GT: I feel you, I actually stopped watching after S5.
M: Trevor was the worst.
GT: Why do you say that?
M: Not the actor ,obviously, but the whole storyline was not done right at all, imo. The whole jesus stuff was stupid. Frank continuing to live was stupid. All the stupid and inconsistent decisions compounded into me not giving a shit anymore.
GT: Did you actually watch all the seasons? Because I myself skipped S6 to S9. What did you think of the ending?
M: The ending I saw was the wedding stuff, but I haven't watched anything after.
GT: Do you intend to or will you just consider the wedding the end and that's it? Either way, what did you think of the wedding? Or the fact that there was one. The early-seasons fan in me was in shock it even happened. Once Mickey came back for 9x06, I figured that was as good as it was going to ever get.
M: I knew they would do it. They baited us, kept us on the hook and reeled us back in with the Gallavich crap. I thought the wedding was fine, didn't understand half the people there. Oh wait I also watched some of the stuff with them in the apartment and trying to adjust to that which was actually pretty interesting. I didn't really keep up after that, just saw some gifs here and there. I think they had sex in an ambulance with a dead person? I don't really understand why they have to keep doing illegal stuff. I refuse to believe Fiona would not even show up or call or check in, but I understand why Emmy wanted to cut full ties with the show
GT: I agree, I never understood why not have Fiona keep in touch, or just have one of them mentioned she called. But it's the same thing they did with Mickey at the end of season 5. Instead of cutting Noel from the show, but still having Mickey be somewhat present through mentions, they decided he'd be arrested AND Ian would break up with him. And then they mentioned things about him that weren't true. That made no sense at all. How would you have written their ending if you got to choose?
M: I've written their ending lol; just a short fic reimagining the day after the wedding. I liked the apartment stuff. I would've written them trying to find Mandy eventually leaving the show due to a positive sign she wanted to reconnect. They need to leave the Southside. But during their search, Mickey goes to school. Maybe some shenanigans ensue, but ultimately he does well enough to graduate. I'd see Ian writing a book.
GT: Ian writing a book? That's something I never thought of. A biography or fiction?
M: Maybe a memoir.
GT: What about other moments of the show? If you could change one thing the show did with them, what would it be? 
M: Everything. Anything I ever had an issue with, I usually turned into some sort of fic in retaliation. I did a fic rewriting their meeting at the docks, and also one where Ian finds Mickey in Mexico. I did one of when Ian came home from the hospital and Mickey is taking care of him, but ends up helping Fiona with some chores. 
GT: Ok, but if you could only choose one? Sophie's choice, I know. Well, reverse Sophie's choice. 😅
M: Idk I'd redo all the stuff with Yevgeny and not make Mickey forget all about him.
GT: Great point. Just one more thing that doesn't make sense in this show. Ok, now let's talk fanfiction. What kind of fics do you write the most? I mean, I know you're the drabble queen, but what else?
M: My fics range from absolute crack fucking with the readers, to gut wrenching, to smut, to whatever passion project I think 2 people will read. I've written some lengthy stuff. Two wips I'm ashamed to admit I forgot where I was going with them as the reason I haven't updated them are White Coats and, by far my most popular fic, The Sugar Daddy. I also have several series going with trans Mickey, fratboy Mickey, geek Mickey, etc.
GT: I can relate, I also have a WIP I don't know how to continue. I have the plot planned, but... I don't quite know how to get there. Do you have a personal favorite among your fics, one that you were especially proud to write?
M: Definitely The Sugar Daddy, but they're all my babies to some extent, even the less popular and early ones. I liked writing pregnant Mickey. And I like some of my fantasy spins, like Mickey meeting Santa lol, and Ian in Oz.
GT: If you had to rewrite a fic you wrote, which one would you choose and how would you change it?
M: I have over 400 fics so I know I myself am forgetting a lot of them lol.
GT: I have way less and I forget mine too, so I can only imagine. 😁
M: When I come across an oldy it's always fun to read it with fresh eyes haha. I don't think I would rewrite any.
GT:  No regrets, huh?
M: Pretty much.
GT: Fair enough. Now, you said it yourself, you have A LOT of fics out there. Where do you get your ideas from?
M: I tend to write in a zone so whatever I put out there is what I wanted out there in the moment. I have an idea and just go with it and see how it comes together
GT: You said you write in a zone. How do you get in that zone? (asking for a friend)
M: I've had somewhere I just could not figure out how to get it out of my head in a way that makes sense so those just never see the light of day or they find their way magically into something else. It's probably an undiagnosed adhd thing but I hit a groove and can keep going as long as I'm excited. That excitement is generated by how much I think what I've written is going to make people shit their pants. I have a fic titled Ian Snaps Mickey's Neck. 
GT: Lol that sounds like a good motivator. So I'm assuming you don't plan your fics much?
M: Not like pages and pages of details before I even begin, but I know major points and how I want to lead up to some of them. That's not to say I'm not just winging it most of the time. Sometimes I'll come up with something better or different based on reactions if it's a multichap. Prompts are a little tricky sometimes cuz the person is expecting the thing so you need to do the thing. 
GT: What about research? Do you do any before or during writing?
M: A little if I want to make sure I'm saying something correctly, either words or phrases. Places sometimes, or if I want to actually describe something specific. For example, in the Sugar Daddy I have a few links to items Ian gets Mickey just to add to the visuals but I'm not expecting everyone reading to care enough about the minutiae of how much it costs to take a bus in Chicago. I stick with what's relevant and if I think people will get the point without me turning in a research paper. 
GT: Do you have a preference for writing from Ian's or Mickey's pov?
M: No preference just whatever the story calls for [whose pov do I write more, it's definitely Mickey].
GT: Do you write other characters aside from Ian and Mickey?
M: I've written a couple fics that include other Shameless characters and definitely some original characters. 
GT: Which Shameless characters do you write more often? Do you write fics just about them or only include them in your Gallavich fics?
M: Ian and Mickey for sure, others as needed for the story but I know I've done a fic from Debbie's perspective a long time ago? Or Carl....
GT: You mentioned you sometimes include OCs. How do you create them? Do you base them on real people?
M: No, definitely not. I mean, if there is any originality in an original character anymore ie. typical archetypes. I at least try to make them their own character and not just an npc.
GT: You write a good deal of mpreg, a trope that a lot of people don't like. What attracts you to it?
M: Hahaha a good deal? I wrote 2 at the most. To me it's just another way of writing something. I've read some weird shit that I definitely would never write myself.
GT: Really? It was more in my mind. 😅 What are some tropes you enjoy writing?
M: I like writing scenarios that actually happen to me sometimes. Makes things feel more real. I guess I subscribe to the usual angsty stuff. But I genuinely like writing fun and sweet, sexy and loving, intimate.
GT: Is there anything you think you could never write?
M: Incest, child stuff, dom/sub, animals.
GT: Do your preferences apply when reading as well? What kind of things do you enjoy reading about?
M: Haha I've stumbled into some fics where I'm not sure if the subject or the writing turned me off more.
GT: Like what? What makes you quickly hit the back button?
M: If it's great writing, I might skip around some bits. Otherwise yeah, I'm not reading anything that I'd have to announce to a room at gunpoint. But that's for my own peace, some things just should not be written.
GT: One more thing, out of curiosity: where does your url come from? I get the M from your name, but why hunter10?
M:  It's my last name and birth month and username for everything because I'm a basic and terrible person 😆.
GT: What are you currently reading?
M: The one where Ian is the reading tutor and has a cat, Paragraphs by @palepinkgoat​. I also like their other stuff and am always extremely jealous, feel free to mention that haha.  Jealous and supportive, but still… lol. And I really do want to finish The Sugar Daddy but for now I'm going to get back into writing slowly with updating some of my series. Before that I was reading Deaf Group by @thevioletjones​, another fav. Unfortunately a lot of my list is orphaned, deleted or no updates since 2015.
GT: Yeah, a lot of people left the fandom around the time, which is sad, but understandable. I understand orphaning your fics, and of course shit happens, so abandoned WIPs are normal, but I don't get the reasoning behind just deleting something you created, unless you later realized it was in poor taste. But well, to each their own. Ok, so I was going to ask you about your plans for more, but you've already said you want to finish The Sugar Daddy. Any other plans? 
M: No other plans really. I always think I'm going to write this idea I've had but I'm not skilled enough to do it
GT: And finally, leave a message for those reading this interview, please.
M: Ehh....hi,this is Malenah and you're watching Disney channel.
Idk. Be careful, be safe, be aware of your surroundings. I love you.
Drink some water and keep going.
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i'm obsessed waiting for the next chapter of SMB 😂❤️
Thank you for the support x
I'm well aware chapter 11 is taking forever to come and I am so grateful for everyone's patience.
There's been alot of creative blockage for me lately (probs cause of priorities) and nothing I've written has satisfied the perfectionist in me or feels right for SMB.
I know everyone would be grateful and supportive no matter what I write, but it's more the characters I'm trying to please than anyone else. They really want their story to be true to THEM.... Even if it puts me in a slump ( the jerks lmao (yes, I'm the type of writer who believes the characters I write are real people with feelings lol))
I recently got a comment on SMB talking about how they would love to read more details about HOW pen felt about her suitors, Colin and his siblings convos etc.
And I honestly have the raw, more in-depth/alternative pre-edited versions of scenes saved, but am refraining from posting because it will defs influence readers understanding of certain characters and I don't want that bias to happen yet.
I'm on my 7th or 8th re-write of Chapter 11 and so far can only feel inspired/attempt writing scenes 1hour per week before hitting another writer slump.
And to be honest it's because this chapter is solely dedicated to Differentiating SMB Polin from Canon Polin.
I've had to deep dive /character study Colin and Penelope and figure out who MY versions of them were. So yeah, Sir Lee and I are still in the early stages of figuring each other out. He's a real tough character to depict because he's so..... Specific.... Very controlling tbh. He's a definite Yandere (btw defs go check out @thekatebridgerton &@daughter-of-sea-and-wisdom because their Au's are serving me during this creative slump 🤩😍🤩)
Someone described Colin as a bit Jekyll & Hyde, which is very accurate (including Penelope tbh). And for Chapter 11, it's a fight between me, Colin and Sir Lee on who's getting screen time and why. Colin's in a sad slump so all his scenes come off very....brooding (think Batman lmao) and Sir Lee is frustrated because he feels leashed by London propiety and the expectations he has to meet as 'Colin Bridgerton'. He doesn't like having to answer to Anthony (even if he's his brother) because Sir Lee is so much MORE than the third brother of a Viscount. But Anthony is his BROTHER, his BLOOD, who's done so much for him and he LOVES him. So he is trying very hard to respect Anthony's position as First Born and head of the family.
Yeah.... Colin/Sir Lee and I are having many therapy sessions lately to try get to the core of their issues and the growth we want to undertake for the future plot of SMB.....its a work in progress lol.
On the other hand.... There's Penelope/Lady Whistledown.
Canonically, JQ didn't write LW as a different character. Take away the anonymity and LW is still Penelope just parts we the readers and the ton weren't aware she had.
LW in SMB serves an equal role for Penelope as Sir Lee does for Colin.
They are Persona's created as coping mechanisms and ways to escape the lackings and restrictions of Penelope & Colin. So there's a definite self-identity issue for Polin in SMB.
The difference is London City is LW's playground (has been for 11years). This is her turf and she's also the puppet master over the ton. So of course she's comfortable asf and not feeling the same frustration as Sir Lee.
And here's a mild spoiler/ hint about Penelope.
She's MORE Lady Whistledown than she is 'Penelope Featherington the Wallflower'. You'll understand what I mean if/when you read more povs from the Featherington family (which is a little in Chp11 and ALOT in chp12).
SMB is the story of Colin and Penelope - how they met and how they end (never forget this). But for Sir Lee & Lady Whistledown it's only the beginning.
I know I took advantage of your ask to go on a rant, but I get a bit insecure about posting about SMB on Tumblr sometimes. Only because I dont want people feeling spammed with all these posts that promise alot but take forever to come.
So truly, Thank you very much for the ask cause it honestly made me smile and inspired about 1750 words since you submitted it 😂🥰✨🙏✨❤️❤️
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notesonartistry · 1 year
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I’m the same way! I remember having to do a case study during lockdown when my class had switched from in person to online - I was stuck at home and didn’t have anything better to do but still wasn’t writing the damn paper. I ended up writing 12 of the 17 pages in the last 12 hours before it was due because of my procrastination lol
It’s very funny to see these same situations in a different context for her! some of my favorite (and some fan favorites) have come out of it. Happiness was my first favorite on evermore. rwylm is a fan favorite. the 1 is a general public favorite!
Yeah, I definitely have similar stories from pretty much every course/degree I've ever done. A few times, I even took advantage of the fact my deadline was in UK time and I was in Oman so I got 4 bonus hours (not a great idea when you're working the next day!). I used to get really annoyed at myself for it, until I realised that even though I wasn't writing the final copy, I spent a lot of time thinking about my arguments (especially while running or driving), rewording them in my head and sometimes writing little notes and that all contributed towards me being able to bash out whatever I needed at the last minute.
I still wish I could get the actual writing done a bit earlier, but I try not to be so hard on myself about it because it's a waste of energy. I even tried setting fake deadlines with myself, but deep down I knew the truth, so it didn't work, lol!
I LOVE the 1, hoax is one of my all-time faves and I like the other two as well - they have amazing lyrics. She was even at this back for Fearless with Forever and Always, so I guess we know Taylor was also a last-minute essay finisher!
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zeevoidlight · 5 months
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Just finished the Talos Principle 2. I have thoughts on it.
I liked it very much :). Is one of those games that will stay with me for quite a while. I like the world building, the robots, the problems and questions that arise from the story. Just like last game.
SPOILERS My ending was that I unintentionally (because i didn't knew it was a choice) pushed for Byron to become mayor. I actually think it was a good outcome and something I wanted ultimately because the city couldn't possibly survive without him in command for the next election. I liked Byron at first because is almost obvious. But as the story progressed in the game I started to see what the others were talking about when referring to him. I do think he is umm... a bit insane, lol, and later in the game i couldn't but see him as a too rash and unhinged at times, just like the other extreme with Hermanubis. He's clearly a Utopist with big ambitions which wouldn't be so bad if they weren't driven by his own trauma, he cannot see past himself using others necessities to justify and prove his personal point into the extreme. That's why I wanted to side with Alcatraz, which to me feels like the safe option, of not being to rash to take a definitive decision in that moment to completely change reality forever and focus only on the immediate problems at hand. He wasn't opposed to the technology, he was just wary of it, which is perfectly understandable. But... I didn't wanted to admit it but the narrative seems to favor Byron in the very end, even leaving Alcatraz completely out of the picture in all endings, and depicting the "theory of everything" as the only one that gives fruit. maybe, Idk exactly but that's my impression after seeing three endings by myself and the special endings on youtube. Although I still don't know the conditions of the special endings and their variants, and also my impression was a bit different, more balanced when i saw the normal endings by myself. Maybe reddit has a way to skew the truth by deciding to find and choose a "true" ending or "canon" ending, maybe the game is actually biased, idk. The ending i got was, like i was saying before i got sidetracked, I got Byron elected, and I wanted to turn off the machine, not destroy it, to maybe take a bit of time to think about it and study it, and Byron in the meantime could move New Jerusalem out of their stagnation into something better than what they had currently. I was my best outcome because they needed the resources and I think they were absolutely exaggerating by saying that they will destroy the planet if they just basically grow any inch. They were already much better the moment the started making plans for expeditions and gathering resources for their immediate needs, and thinking about creating new things, while at the same time not immediately giving the theory of everything power to them as they were right now because Athena's concerns and Alcatraz concerns where very much real. Is the power to change reality itself! Is Teensy and Tot and the Polyhedron all over again! Don't you see the danger they inherent?! (insert Jeff Goldblum here).
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But i feared the game wasn't going to understand me and it was going to give me a bad ending for taking the middle of the road decision, and that's exactly what happened. I took the option to turn off the machine, and apparently that's the worst ending because the mayor is not actually elected, they end up fighting each other, 1K just ends up leaving them to their own and basically exiles himself with Athena and says "fuck this shit I'm out" and leaves them to figure the future out themselves, and the Sphinx tells me that i took a decision that is not a decision. like... *sigh... So, I watched the ending that I think the game wanted me to take in the first place, which is to use the machine to know everything and gain absolute control over reality itself. And i watched it, but to be honest it was still not the good ending, at least for me, even with that Byron super heartfelt dialogue at the end over the scene with 1K creating life in another corner of the universe and the holograms (ghosts? ppl on reddit said it was ghosts) of other AIs and the music and all. I just think that's too much, and as Al and at some point Yaqut said, it felt devoid of meaning, to suddenly have everything and can do anything and know everything, to manipulate life that way. Everything looses purpose. At least that's how i felt.
So, I chose then the other ending where you outright destroy the machine. And I thought the game was going to punish me with something worse than my first ending, complete oblivion. But surprisingly it was the ending i was actually looking for. One where Byron gets elected and he says that he respects my decision without any resentments since he expresses that with respect. I was surprised when he said that! and he was saying in his speech that he was still going to take New Jerusalem to a brighter future worthy of the people that doubt them. It was so much better! And just what i wanted! And then 1K goes into the woods and find a stag, and kneels before it. I don't feel it was in a worshiping way but just in a respectful way. I was just disappointed that I didn't saw Alcatraz in that ending then, because I feel like he would be much more at ease and happy with the results. The only thing he wanted was for Byron to not go crazy, not to stop advancement altogether. But towards the end i feel the narrative started to change Alcatraz into being the opposite of Byron like he was depicted at the very start for you to think that was all his character was. It reverted back into it with little details he says to make you misunderstand what he's saying again...
... I'm happy with that last ending i got being my canon one. Even if it's "the wrong one". Feels like Pathologic all over again. I just cannot win with the choice I thought it was the good one. I hope i'm just tripping and there's actually no bias. But that's why it will stay in the void along with other things as long as the general consensus say there's an actual "canon" ending. At least until the new Talos comes out in a couple of years, if there's another one. Or someone on the team says otherwise. I will have my own canon. And Alcatraz and I can be the forever party poopers.
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umichenginabroad · 9 months
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WEEK 9: Final goodbyes
Dobry den!!
The last blog post- I’ve been dreading this. I really don’t want to leave Prague, it’s been so fun and flew by way too quickly. I’m writing this the day before I leave, and it still doesn’t feel real that I’ll be at the airport tomorrow morning. Quick recap of our last couple days:
On Wednesday, we got our favorite gelato place for the last time: Creme de la creme. It’s soo good and I’ve gotten the same order every time (one scoop of dark chocolate with salted caramel, one scoop of raspberry- the fruit and chocolate combo is unmatched). For the rest of the day, we were packing and studying for our finals, which was very sad and not too fun.
On Thursday, I took my final which was pretty easy. It was so sad walking out of the CEA study center for the last time, but the staff put out some fruit and pastries for us which was nice. They always had tea, coffee, water, and a bowl of cookies set out for us, and my friends and I loved taste testing the cookies after class. One thing I’ll miss from Prague is the Milka cookies- they seriously need to get that brand in America. 
My parents came to Prague on Thursday, and they met my friends and I at Nominanza River Restaurant, which was a super cool casual pizza and drinks spot. It was right on the river and had such a good view of the sunset over the Prague Castle. There were picnic tables and live music, and we enjoyed some cocktails and pizzas. This was definitely one of my favorite nights because it was so great to see my parents after 8 weeks and such a special dinner for my friends’ last night in Prague. 
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After dinner, we had a plan to go to six different bars, which was very ambitious, and we only made it to two lol (our favs- Vzorkovna dog bar and Duplex). It was a very fun night and we stayed out till sunrise so we could watch the sunrise over the Charles bridge, which we had been talking about doing since we first got to Prague. This was such a special memory with my friends that I’ll never forget, and the perfect way to close out our time in Prague. My roommates left for the airport a few hours later, and saying goodbye to them was so hard. I woke up Friday morning alone in the empty apartment, which was very very sad. We had to move out by noon, so I brought all my stuff over to my parents’ hotel and showed them around Prague for the rest of the day.
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I can’t believe I’m leaving tomorrow- where did the time go?? It feels like just yesterday I got here. I’m so sad to leave my roommates because we became so close but we all live in different states and go to different schools. It feels so weird that we basically spent every day together for the last 8 weeks (and went to 7 different countries together!), and now we might never see them again. Alyse and I told our other roommates that they have to come visit us for a Michigan gameday in the fall, so hopefully we can reunite soon!
Reflecting on my time studying abroad, I know I’ve grown so much as a person and student. I have definitely become more independent, confident, worldly, and open-minded. It’s so interesting to see how people from another culture live, and traveling to different countries around Europe is so eye-opening. This experience was so unique, and it has made me want to continue traveling in the future. I grew up traveling a lot with my family, but this was very different. I loved being able to travel with my friends and be more independent as we figured out our own transportation, accommodation, and itineraries. If you are thinking about studying abroad, 100% do it. This was a once in a lifetime experience and probably the best summer I’ve ever had. I met so many amazing people, had so many memorable experiences, and have so many new perspectives of the world. I’m so grateful for this opportunity and I will forever remember my summer in Prague. 
Overall Prague favorites:
Cafe: La Forme
Coffee: Iced salted caramel coconut milk latte from Rose Latte
Restaurant: Pasta Fresca or Manifesto market
Sight: Prague Castle and Wallenstein Palace gardens
Food: Fruit dumplings 
Acivity: paddle boats on the river
Neighborhood: Vinohrady forever <3
Park: Grebovka
Beer Garden: Letna or Riegrovy Sady
Bar: Vzorkovna
Gelato: Creme de la creme
Thank you so much for tuning in for my adventures abroad this summer!! I hope you enjoyed and felt like you were traveling along with me! I had so much fun writing this blog and am so glad I now have a virtual travel journal I can look back on. 
Dekuji!!
Parker Peterson
Industrial and Operations Engineering
Engineering in Prague
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roscgcld · 3 years
Text
RYOMEN SUKUNA || my little flower
anime: jujutsu kaisen
characters: ryomen sukuna
pronouns: she/her 
notes: historical!sukuna x reader, slightly sexual (no smexy time involved lol - maybe another day ;)), quite fluffy towards the end
also - I’ve been reading so many sukuna hcs and imagines of him when he’s in his prime or during the historical era - so like excuse me as I politely simp for the man that is ryomen sukuna >< thank you 
references: https://www.japanese-wiki-corpus.org/literature/Ryomen-sukuna.html 
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Sukuna leans back into the futon with a tired sigh, two of his arms folded behind his head while the other two held you against him securely. His ruby red eyes glanced away from the ceiling to look down at the woman curled up in his embrace, sleeping peacefully against him whilst her own soft arms were wrapped around his muscular torso. He admired your peaceful features at first, but soon his eyes started to travel down your delicate neck and cleavage, your soft skin marked by dark splotches where he had marked you up for the world to see.
Just the sight of the hickeys and bite marks caused Sukuna to smirk once more, the feeling of pride traveling through him at the sight of the hickeys, both new and old, marring your skin. It was a sight he would never get bored of seeing, since it was a constant reminder to you that you were his and no one else’s. 
Many would question just how did this happen - how did a simple human manage to ‘tame’ the infamous Sukuna - the King of Curses, who spreads chaos and bloodshed in his wake? How did you, a mere human woman who looked far too kind hearted and warm, ended up with such a fearsome man? 
Well, how this came to be was actually a cute story.
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You grew up in a small village in Hida province, where many cities treated Sukuna as their patron deity. He was what people would call quite a cold ruler - one who would not hesitate to bring terror and bloodshed down on a town that had angered him. But at the same time, he was quite the generous man as well. He protects the people of the Hida and Mino Provinces, and many towns had florish and grow under his careful guidance.
Your town was one of the may towns that worshipped the Cursed Spirit, preparing offerings on special celebrations and always paying your respects whenever you go up to the ichinomiya on the weekends with your parents. It was because of one of these special celebrations that drew Sukusa to you.
It was one of the many days where offerings were given to him by townspeople, in hopes that they will still continue to get some form of protection from the unknown. He was their patron deity, after all. Even though many times he does all the things he does for his own benefit, it was nice to know that there are some who are gullible enough to think he does it for them. But he it’s one to complain - many of the offerings are things he does not mind indulging in. The best crops from the harvest, women for his ever growing harem, beautifully crafted weapons and clothes are the few he can keep in mind
Many times, he does not care to go through the offerings himself - Uraume goes through all of them and then gives him a general overview of everything. However, as he was walking past one of the neat piles of offerings, a particular garment box caught his eye; causing him to pause before he unwraps it curiously. 
Sitting inside the carefully wrapped package was a beautiful dark blue kinomo made of the finest silk, the fabric so smooth that it almost felt like water slipping through his fingers. Packed along with the kinomo was a beautifully crafted haori, a simple yet beautiful crane woven into the haori in white, the details done so carefully that when worn, the crane moves with the shifting of the fabric. The packet also came with a matching hakama made from the luxurious fabric, and a beautiful kaku obi made from navy blue, white and silver carefully weaved together into in a beautiful talent.
It was because of the level of craftsman ship that had Sukuna curious - who was the mastermind of something so beautiful?
He had went to the town where the garment was from and after some digging about, discovered about you. A daughter to a family of tailors, you were quite well known for your talents in embroidery and your mastery of the loom. Having gotten such talents, you crafted many beautiful pieces, and one of them was gifted to Sukuna himself recently. 
When he first saw you, he was struck by your beauty; how you had such a warm smile no matter who you were referring to. How your movements were graceful yet swift, your needle and threat embroidering the most beautiful depections of animals and flowers without a single mistake. How your voice was so sweet and calming that he can physically feel the tension from his body starting to unwind ever so slightly. If he could, he’d love to listen to your voice forever - which was what he intended to do. 
The first time you two met was actually in the dead of the night; you had stayed up later then usual, carefully embroidering a water lily onto a long fabric for a personal tapestry you wanted to hang in your room. A candle was burning by your work table, casting the engawa of your home in a soft but comforting glow; enough for you to do your work without straining too much. You were so fucsed on your work that you didn’t notice how the flames of your candle started to flicker in the glass holder; even though there was the air was still. Your eyes didn’t trail up from your tapestry even as a large figure quietly entered the hallway you were in; only pausing when you felt a huge presence looming over you.
Your bright eyes flickered upwards and met with four pairs of ruby red ones staring right back at you; all four of them shining in amusement. “You are quite oblivious, little one.” Sukuna hummed out with a soft grin, to which you just gave him a confused look as you tilted your head ever so slightly. “How did you get into my house?” You asked quietly, not even acknowledging how the man before you looked very different from what you’re used to; from the four muscular arms sprouting out from underneath the dark blue haori, the very same one that you had made for him. to the extra pair of eyes he sported on his face. Or how the top of his head was clearly brushing against the simple weed roofing of your family home.
“Is that really the first thing you’re going to ask, little one?”
From that day onwards, things definitely went a lot smoother then Sukuna could have imagined. At first the lack of reaction from you confused him, but he found it quite amusing nonetheless. Even after finding out that he was the same deity that you had heard stories of since you were in diapers, you acted no differently around him. You still talked and laughed with him like he was any other human. which for some reason made his heart feel warm and fuzzy. It makes him want to gather you up in his arms, protecting you from the horrors of the world.
The two of you will continue to meet up in the night like secret lovers; many nights he’d just lean against one of the pillars of your family home, with you perched in his lap as you work on different projects every night; talking about things that happen that day, or the funny stories that the townsfolk would share with you whenever they drop by to mend and purchase clothes, or when they dropped off freshly dyed fabrics. During a few of these nights Sukuna had suggested if you can help him mend a few of his kimonos, which you agreed to without hesitation. Some days you’d ever create new kimonos for him as well, which he would wear quite proudly. 
Soon these innocent nights of talking and laughter, him watching you do your work under the moonlight, to having you gasping and crying out for him as he took you over and over again in his grand bedroom; watching quite gleefully as he corrupted your innocence, ruining you for any other man. Ever since the first night you two shared in his bed, he knew that there was no turning back - there was no one else for him but you. 
And there was no way he was going to let some puny human even try to get in between the both of you.
With that he whisked you away from the somewhat mundane and boring life in your town, making you his entire world. He showered you with the finest gifts and opened the more human side of him to you; one that he thought he had lost the moment he had decided to go down the path he did. But you pulled these emotions out from him with ease, making him realise that he can chase all the power he want till the end of time and that will never satisfy him completely. 
All he needed was you, and everything feels right in the world.
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“I’ve lost you again, haven’t I?”
Sukuna’s eyes snapped towards the direction of your sleepy voice, watching how you gave him the most beautiful yet sleepy smile as you carefully shifted your body so it was pressed against his. He marveled how your naked bodies clicked together seamlessly, even with the clear size difference between the two of you. “You will always have my attention, flower.”
The sound of the simple nickname cause a small smile tug against the corner of your lips, remembering how that nickname came about. You have always love studying flowers, since you enjoyed embroidering different sorts of flora and fauna onto different tapestries that now adorned the walls of the home you two share. You had once told him about your love of flowers, and because of that, you had came home one day to the courtyard in your shared home turned into your private garden; with flowers from all across the country planted at every nook and cranny. 
When you had asked Sukuna about it, he just shrugs and gave you an indulge smile - as if asking were you really shocked by his gift to you. When he realised just how deep your love for nature was, he had started to call you ‘his flower’, and the name has stuck since then. “What a sweet talker.”
A chuckle rumbled deep within his chest as one of his hands found purchase along your back, starting to massage what he was sure were your sore muscles; watching in satisfaction as you melted more into his chest. “Only for you.” He admitted quietly, to which you just gave him a loving smile as you rest your cheek against his chest once more; a soft finger started to trace along the tattoos on his skin. This action caused him to relax further into the futon, sighing softly in content. “Sukuna? Can we take a bath?”
“I’m lazy.” Sukuna stated with a soft groan as he glanced down at you once more, only to be met by the soft pout that you just know gets him to give in. This caused him to scowl as he cupped your face in one of his hands, gently squishing your cheeks between his fingers as he pushes himself up into a seated position. “You little minx.” He growls playfully whilst you just gave him a teasing smile, straddling his lap with your legs on either side of his whilst one of your hands wrapped around his wrist; causing him to loosen his grip on you whilst letting out a loud sigh. “How annoying.”
His arms suddenly wrapped around you before he got up from the comfort of the warm futon, causing you to giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Let’s go, flower.” He sighs dramatically before he walked you both to the bathroom, causing you to perk up before you lean over to press a loving kiss against his cheek; ignoring his soft eyeroll at your act of affection. As if he didn’t enjoy it whenever you do so. “I love you.”
“Of course you do.” He teases before he started to walk you two towards the bathroom, one of his hands skimming down to the small of your pack where a beautiful black tattoo rested against your soft skin; a tattoo that looks similar to the black lines that adorned his own skin. “You’re mine, after all.” He stated simply, causing you to roll your eyes at him playfully as he carefully sat you down on the wooden steps leading to the opening of the ofuro; watching as Sukuna started to prepare the bath for the both of you. “Wouldn’t it kill for you to just be a little nicer to me?”
Your teasing tone clearly didn’t win any points with him, who narrowed his eyes at you and before you know it you were suddenly pinned down against the wooden steps. A soft giggle left your lips at the narrowed eyes that stared back at you, causing Sukuna to scowl softly at your reaction. “Now you’re just asking for it, flower.” He growled before diving down to meet your lips in a passionate kiss; not being able to mask his smile at the sound of your soft laughter just as you wrapped your arms around him once more.
"My little flower..”
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© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform
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moxfirefly · 3 years
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Heyo! I hope you're doing well! For the new NSFW asks, how about 39: "do you have a mommy kink", "no", "do you want one?" with leonardo, I've been waiting for a mommy kink with leonardo so I figured now would be a good time to ask lol 😂
Y’all heathens have to reignite my “Leo Has A Mommy Kink” debate.
So yes of course I can.
Rated Explicit (18+ only)
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There are several aspects about Leo’s life that he quite enjoys keeping private.
You don’t earn the nickname Honor Boy without exactly living up to it. So naturally he doesn’t go about voicing things that needn’t concern his chatty brothers and their abilities for dumb nicknames.
It just doesn’t concern them that he’s, well he’s not the purest of the bunch. So what he likes to blow off steam and said steam requires particular things for it to be blown off. Nobody needs to know how much he’s read up on rope play and shibari (it’s artistic he swears) and nobody needs to know that his own internet history searches could rival that of Donnie.
And nobody needs to know that he may have a slight, tiny, minuscule, itty bitty mommy kink.
He feels his neck already all hot and sweaty when it comes to you, so it was quite uncalled for (in his mind) for you to talk kinks with him one late night in his room. Because contrary to Donnie who isn’t ashamed of his likes, Leo is still working through that. He doesn’t know how exactly to voice it, he isn’t stoked about sitting down with Donnie (who would be the most understanding) because he’s a little repressed to this day.
But you’re much more open, shameless and so nonchalant about it. He quite envies it to be honest, how you can laugh and giggle your way through a list you found online and have been reading to him about kinks.
And yes Leo’s laughed too, some of them sound so bizarre and not in the least bit appealing.
And yes he’s tried not to look too shameful about knowing some that you’ve never heard of.
“People really make a kink for anything, I bet there’s somebody right now inventing a new one” You scrolled on your phone, grinning when you landed on one in particular you knew all too well. You sat up a little straighter on Leo’s bed and cleared your throat.
“Daddy kink? Does is spark joy or not?” You gave your best game show voice and Leo shook his head with a chuckle. “I dunno, not really, there’s better authoritative names” He clears his throat, trying not to allude too much to what would end him if a girl ever said it to him.
“I suppose you’re on to something there, I’m either or, maybe in the heat of the moment who knows” You do notice that some of these have probably hit home for him, he had been a little more talkative before but as the list progressed, the more shy he got.
Something about that makes you so astonishingly delighted.
“Once a guy called me Mommy and I have to say, awakened something in me” You studied his reaction, Leo swallowed and did not in anyways let his eye stray towards you.
Oh boy.
“Do you have a mommy kink?” You flat out asked him, grinning. Leo kept his eyes anywhere but on you.
“No” With just a little more conviction he could’ve made it believable the poor soul.
“Do you want one?” You ask him with every seductive incentive that only serves for Leo to swallow.
You sit up on your knees and rest your hands on his shoulders, Leo can’t really stay with his eyes glued to one of his bonsais forever, so he caves.
Oh god does he cave.
“What’s wrong sweet boy?” You coo at him, hands running up his hot neck and resting on his cheeks. “Is my precious little boy embarrassed?” You caress his cheek, even going so far as to adjust his mask and Leo feels like he’s going to scream because blood rushing to places it shouldn’t right now.
“It’s ok, mommy’s goodest boy doesn’t have to be embarrassed about anything, yeah?” And you have to bite your lip from smiling so much when Leo honest to god shakes his head at your inquiry. You thumb his bottom lip and lean in close enough to feel his warm breath. “Have you been good? Have you been the most good boy for me?” You watch his tongue dart out to lick his dry lips as he nods.
The surge of power that shoots through your veins, it was definitely something you us become a fan of. But Leo’s reaction had been way more entertaining than that of your old flame. Your eyes landed on his lap, clearly this had pulled a very interesting reaction out of him. “Tsk tsk, did I say you could get excited?” You chastised him, tapping his lips with your finger.
How the night shifted to this was beyond Leo, he was lost in the mood, in the heat behind your words and there was no way he could stop his cock from filling up due to it. A part of him wanted to be embarrassed, he considers himself such a strong willed person, not easily cracked but yet here you were making putty out of him with such sweet words. You leaned in, voice a whisper. “Are you okay with this? Want me to stop?” You wanted to check in after all, but you would not continue if this was overstepping any boundaries with him.
Leo took a shuddering breath.
“No...mommy”
You bit the inside of your cheek, that shouldn’t have made you so hot. With a soft fingertip to the middle of his plastron, you followed a path downwards toward his already tenting shorts. You heard him gulp and once your hand was inside you gripped him with every intention of making squirm.
And messy.
Because Leo has to appreciate some messes.
“You’re such a good boy, my good blue boy” You jerked his cock slowly, each pump deliberate with the goal of hearing him struggle to autores a noise. A strong hand found your thigh and gripped it, several choked moans and whines escaping him. Pressing your lips to his cheek you hushed him, you kissed the spot just as you began to speed up your movements. Leo’s hips wanted to buck up into your tight grip, he felt your lips travel towards his ear and a smug tone that only served to make his cock leak. “Who has a mommy kink after all?” Oh he would’ve crawled into a hole and the way you giggled only made the situation worse.
He felt himself cum without warning, which only made the situation even more amusing for you, some of it shot up towards your shirt as you kept pumping. Leo didn’t even know if he could muffle his sounds more by. “Messy messy, you ruined mommy’s shirt” You grinned, still lazily stroking him as he slumped back against the pillows. His soft blue eyes found yours, if he could turn red he would’ve been by, you leaned down and kissed him.
As you pulled away, Leo gently reached for your stained hand and brought it towards his lips.
“May I clean my mess up...mommy?”
You bit down on your bottom lip and nodded.
Oh this would be such a fun new thing for the two of you and even as Leo (embarrassed to high end but still greatly enjoying himself) licked your fingers and palm of his own cum, he knew as well that maybe sharing his likes wouldn’t be so bad after all.
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sleepdeprivedsloth · 3 years
Text
In the Dead of Night
[MHA - Midoriya, Bakugou]
summary: Not wanting to return to a nightmare, Bakugou spends the night alone in the common area. That is, until Midoriya finds him and tries to get his old friend to open up with an effective technique from their childhood. (platonic BakuDeku tickle fic)
potential warnings: swearing, tickling
words: 1.5 k
a/n: ahhh my first fic!! …kinda hoping no one sees this but yeah imma post it anyways haha. hopefully whoever ends up reading this will enjoy it! happy national tickle day guys :D
--
Bakugou stared blankly out of one of the windows in the common area, gazing into the empty void that was the night sky. He rarely ever was awake during the dead of night, but yet here he was. Sleeplessly seated on the couch, long past the time his classmates all retired to their dorms.
He would much rather be asleep, heaven knew he needed the rest, but he was not going to risk returning to his nightmare. The experience felt more like he actually relived the sludge monster incident rather than only a dream. He could never willingly go back to that.
His mind being in its own world, Bakugou didn’t quite catch the faint sound of footsteps that grew closer. He vaguely recognized the familiar noises of the refrigerator door opening and closing before he was brought back from his daze by a hand offering him a bottle of water in front of his eyes.
Bakugou looked up and spotted no other than Izuku freaking Midoriya. He felt his facial features try to form a glare out of a force of habit, but his body was too exhausted to actually comply. Reluctantly, he grabbed the water bottle and took a sip as the green-haired boy wordlessly sat on the opposite end of the couch.
Midoriya, whose brain was still in the waking-up process, had just been awakened a few moments ago with his throat strongly craving for some cold water. Maybe it was due to the fact that his mind was still a bit clouded with sleep, or that the two boys had been sitting in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, but Midoriya actually broke the silence and spoke up.
“What are you doing up at such a late hour?” he asked, turning slightly in his seat so that he could study Bakugou’s reactions. Midoriya didn’t know what he expected as a response, probably a snarky reply or just outright rage, but what he received definitely shocked him.
Bakugou completely ignored him and avoided any chance of eye contact by staring straight ahead. It was as if he didn’t know that his classmate was sitting not even three feet away from him. Midoriya immediately became more attentive and alert, his Kacchan Radar going off like crazy. Bakugou never missed an opportunity to pick a fight with or insult anyone, especially Midoriya.
To his credit, Midoriya took a moment to consider his options. He could go interrogation mode on Bakugou, but he doubted that the blonde would actually open up to him like that. Maybe he could just sit there in silence until Bakugou willingly chose to talk to him, but that could honestly take days. Of course, he could go back to his dorm and leave Bakugou alone, which was probably the option that his classmate would have wanted him to choose, but when was Midoriya even known for actually pleasing Bakugou?
Suddenly Midoriya remembered a technique that had never failed him back when he and Bakugou were younger. A method that they had both been sworn to secrecy about, and hadn’t been used in years.
“Why are you down here so late, Kacchan?” Midoriya asked again, grinning slightly, this time punctuating the other’s name with a poke to his side.
Bakugou let out a quiet yelp, obviously not expecting a small tingling sensation to suddenly shoot through his entire body. He internally cursed himself for showing a reaction and flinching away from the touch.
Still awaiting a response, Midoriya dared to poke again, but before his finger could come in contact with the boy’s body, Bakugou abruptly brought himself to his feet and made a move to leave the common area.
Midoriya quickly and quietly followed suit, walking up behind his unsuspecting classmate. He tasered his index and middle fingers into both of Bakugou’s sides, latching onto them and relentlessly digging in. “C’mon Kacchan, talk to me!”
Bakugou had to squeeze his eyes shut and cover his mouth with one hand to prevent himself from making any noises that could potentially wake up his classmates. He desperately tried to fight off Midoriya’s fingers with his other hand (emphasis on “tried”), but he was too tired physically and mentally to actually get away.
With the advantage of the surprise attack on his side, Midoriya was able to keep the minimally thrashing Bakugou in his grasp. Being the teasing shit that he is, Midoriya taunted, “I bet you wanna laugh, huh Kacchan? Go on, you’ll feel better if you just let it out.”
“N-no I w-won’t!” Bakugou argued from behind his hand, struggling to keep the laughter building up inside of his throat under control. “If we w-weren’t in the dorms right now I would not he-hesitate to blast your ass into nehext week.”
Midoriya gave a playful, over-dramatic gasp. “Did the Kacchan just giggle?” He moved his hands up to Bakugou’s ribs and started scribbling his fingers against them, causing the boy’s weak wall of defense to come crumbling down. As Bakugou’s little laughs started leaking out, Midoriya continued wiggling along the sensitive bones and drilling into the grooves between them. “I am now officially addicted, I must hear mor-”
“Hehehaha Deheheku quirk! Quhuhuhuirk!”
Midoriya immediately recognized the meaning of the word and stopped his tickling, letting his own arms drop to his sides. He watched as Bakugou bent over, arms wrapped tightly around his torso, trying to regain his self-control.
Meanwhile, Midoriya’s head began to flood with memories from his childhood, when the two boys had tickle fights almost on a daily basis. To prevent one of them from pushing the other past their limits, they had decided to use “quirk” as some sort of safeword. Midoriya was a bit surprised that he had immediately understood Bakugou’s intended context of the word, considering that it hadn’t been used for what felt like forever.
A soft, sentimental smile crossed Midoriya's face as he caught a glimpse of Bakugou's face for the first time since tickling him. The blonde’s lips were brought upwards in a reluctant smile and a light blush, most likely from embarrassment, dusted his cheeks. If only Midoriya had a camera to capture the rare moment.
“Did it really tickle so much that you had to call “quirk?”” Midoriya questioned, genuinely curious if he had gone too far.
Being somewhat in control of his own body again, Bakugou stood to his full height and faced his former best friend. If Midoriya noticed that his arms were still wrapped around and protecting his ribs, he didn’t say anything. “Of course it wasn’t that bad, dumbass. I-” Bakugou paused for a moment before looking away from Midoriya and continuing in a whispered voice. “I just didn’t want to risk making too much noise and waking anyone up and…”
He didn’t have to finish his thought for Midoriya to catch on to what he meant. He easily realized that Bakugou didn’t want any of their classmates to find out that he’s ticklish, which was understandable.
Midoriya nodded, showing Bakugou that he didn’t need to further explain. They stood in silence for a moment before the greenette chose to speak up again. “So why are you down here so late at night instead of sleeping in your dorm?”
Bakugou’s body visibly stiffened as he quickly cast his gaze towards the floor. If he hadn’t been exhausted beyond belief and still recovering from those nimble fingers that definitely did not tickle him, he probably would have told Midoriya to screw off and mind his own business. But instead, he answered, “If you really must know, shitty Deku, I had a dream about the damn sludge villain. I didn’t wanna deal with that shit again, so I just came down here to wait out until morning.”
Midoriya knew from experience that Bakugou didn’t want comforting words or pity. That would only make him feel even more vulnerable than he already was, and that wasn’t Midoriya’s intention. So instead, he simply replied in an indifferent tone, “Oh, alright then. Mind if I wait out here too then?”
Not waiting for an answer, Midoriya walked back to the couch and sat back down, spreading out comfortably but still leaving more than enough room for Bakugou. The last thing he wanted was for his former childhood best friend to have to recover from a nightmare alone. But he would never say it out loud, for Bakugou’s sake.
Two minutes passed before Bakugou inevitably decided to walk over and take the seat next to the other boy. Midoriya looked over and caught his classmate’s eye, nodding slightly to him with a small smile before turning back to gaze outside of the window.
Having gone from childhood best friends, to bully and victim, to rivals, to… wherever their relationship stood now, the two boys shared a strong bond that neither of them knew how to describe. But just being in each others’ presence in the dead of night, enjoying the silence between them, was comforting.
However, the pair would definitely not be feeling so relaxed if they hadn’t failed to notice a certain pink-haired alien queen that managed to capture a short, incriminating video before excitedly running off back to her dorm only a few mere moments ago.
--
a/n: thanks for reading, and i hope you guys liked it! i’m still working on that fandom list but yeah MHA will definitely be on there lol. i’ll try to update again soon but until then have a great life y’all!!
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elliesguitarstrings · 3 years
Text
promises, promises || part one: what used to be
masterlist || series masterlist
tom holland x reader
summary: you're crying over someone you haven't seen in two years, tom is straight up depressed, your friends are trying to set you up, and sam is just trying his best to help
warnings: ANGST, language, mentions of sex, little bit of fluff, probably typos
A/N: PART ONE IS HERE!!!! i absolutely love this fic and i hope you guys love it as much as i do :)
p.s. this ended up being really long sooooo i decided to make it into a series instead lol if y'all haven't figured that out
wc: 5k
~~~~~~~~
"I got the part! Holy shit I actually got the part!" Tom throws his computer across the bed in disbelief, almost hitting you.
"Wait, like THE part? Like Spiderman?" you question excitedly.
"YES!!! Check the Marvel Instagram right now!" he crawls over to you as you whip out your phone and quickly search up the account. You scan the page to see a post captioned, "Click the link in our bio to see who the new Spider-Man is!" You quickly find the link and impatiently wait for the page to load. And then you see it, boldface print and giant letters across your phone.
The new Marvel Cinematic Universe Spider-Man will be played by: TOM HOLLAND
"HOLY SHIT TOM! You're fucking Spiderman!" you tackle him with a hug, squeezing him so tightly that he has to fight for breath. "I'm so proud of you, I knew you were gonna do big things." you smile brightly.
"We have to go tell everyone else, come on!" Tom pulls you off of him, dragging you out of his bedroom and down the stairs to give his family the big news.
The rest of the Hollands were already together in the family room, and they immediately took notice of yours and Tom's excitement as the two of you are bounding down the stairs.
Out of breath, Tom sprints to the center of the room. "Attention everyone, I have an extremely important announcement to make!" He pauses for dramatic effect, his family waiting in anticipation. "I'M GONNA BE SPIDERMAN!"
This causes an outburst of cheers and applause from his parents and brothers, each one of them getting up to hug Tom and congratulate him on this huge achievement.
Paddy pipes up, "How did you get the news? Did they call you or something?"
"Um, not exactly. They posted it on their Instagram and on the Marvel website as well, wanna see?" He turns to you, "Y/N, show them your phone!"
You pull out your phone and open the screen you were just looking at, showing the Hollands the Instagram post and article.
"No way, they're totally hacked." Harry remarks, earning disapproving looks from Nikki and Dom. "if you were really gonna be the next Spiderman, they would have called you."
Before Tom has the time to argue back, his phone rings, as if on cue. Tom pulls it out of his back pocket and nervously studies the number across the screen.
"Well, what are you waiting for div, answer it!" Sam chirps impatiently.
The rest of the room is silent while Tom listens intently to the person the other line. You can't make out what they are saying, but the eventual smile on Tom's face completely gives it away.
"Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity," he holds while the other person talks again. "Yeah, I'll be in touch, definitely. Thank you again." Tom ends the call and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was fucking Kevin Feige! I got the part! I actually am gonna be the next Spiderman!"
You and the rest of his family cheered even louder than before, enveloping him in a giant group hug.
"I say we celebrate!" Nikki announces. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?"
Tom smiles, "If I'm honest mum, as nice as that would be, I'd rather just stay in and celebrate here tonight. I like your cooking better than any fancy restaurant anyways."
"Of course honey, I'll make your favorite. We can have a nice big family dinner, how does that sound?"
"Sounds perfect mum, thank you."
She dashes into the kitchen followed by Sam, the aspiring chef of the family, while Dom, Harry, and Paddy go to dress the table.
You take this as your cue to leave, seeing as you don't want to disrupt the rest of Tom's night with his family. "I guess I should get going then," you turn to Tom, hugging him once again. "Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you Tommy." you smile as you head to grab your things before you leave.
"Nonsense! You're staying for dinner too!" Tom stops you.
"Tom, I can't, you should spend this night celebrating with your family." you try to reason with him.
"But I want you here too!" he pouts.
"And you are family!" Nikki pipes in from the kitchen, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the family.
"See, everyone wants you here Y/N, please celebrate with us?" Tom cups your face.
"Are you sure? I really don't want to-"
Nikki cuts you off, piping in once again, "Y/N, I insist you stay for dinner with us. You've been a part of this family for so long, and you know that. So please stay and celebrate with us!" she smiles.
You giggle, "Well, I guess I can't say no to that." Tom smiles, giddily engulfing you in another hug.
After a long and delicious dinner, you and Tom now lay under the stars in the treehouse in his backyard. Dom had built it for you two when you were eight years old, and it's been your special place ever since then. Obviously, it has been upgraded and redecorated since then, now that you and Tom were both eighteen, but it still takes you back to the old days when you were just carefree little kids.
You cuddle into Tom's chest, looking up at the night sky through the small window in the roof of the treehouse. "I wish we could stay here forever," you whisper.
"Me too." Tom pulls you closer, kissing your forehead.
"Everything's gonna change you know. We're graduating in two weeks, and then you leave for America. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you." A small tear rolls down your cheek which doesn't go unnoticed by Tom.
He wipes the tear off your face with his thumb, cupping your chin to make you face him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Things might be changing, but that doesn't mean we have to. I'm only gonna be gone for a few months, and then I'll be back. I love you so much, and a few hundred miles is never going to change that. I will never let anything come between us, ever, okay?"
You smile softly, "You promise?"
"I promise darling. It's you and me forever. I'm never letting you go. Never in a million years." he kisses you lovingly, and you swear you could just live in this moment forever with him, and only him.
That was six years ago. And what Tom said was true, everything had changed. You just wish everything else he had said that night was true too.
Now, Tom is a world-famous actor, living a luxurious life out in Hollywood. You, however, have stayed in England, living only thirty minutes away from your childhood home with your newfound best friends Julia and Finn. You are no longer a part of Tom's life, and he is no longer a part of yours. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten about him.
How could you possibly forget about Tom? Your entire childhood was spent with him. From the ages of two to twenty-two, you were inseparable. To this day, you still remember when you first met, and you think about it often.
"I no wanna go! I stay home and watch princesses!" you cry, defiantly pulling away from your mother's firm grip as she tries to stuff you into shoes that are much too small for your rapidly growing feet.
"I know honey, but we have to go welcome the new neighbors who just moved in across the street. We made them brownies, remember?" she smiles.
You scrunch your face up, " No! I stay home!"
Your dad chimes in, kneeling down to your level. "Listen peanut. How about we make a deal. You come with us and say hello to the new neighbors, and then after we get home you can watch any princess movie you want and maybe even have some ice cream, how does that sound?"
You smile, "Ice cream with rainbow sprinkles?"
He rubs your head, "With rainbow sprinkles."
"Okay. I go then."
Your parents smile, and you hold their hands as you walk across the street to meet the neighbors. Your mom rings the doorbell, and the door opens to reveal a red-headed woman, smiling at you and your parents. Hiding behind her is a small, curly-headed brunette boy about the same height as you.
Your mom introduces herself, "Hi! My name is Y/M/N, this is my husband Y/D/N, and this is my daughter Y/N. We live right across the street, and we just wanted to welcome you into the neighborhood." She outstretches her arms, holding the brownies, "I made these for you as well, I hope you like them!"
The woman smiles, "Oh, wow, thank you so much, you are so sweet! Would you like to come in for a bit?"
"Of course, as long as you'll have us."
She ushers the three of you in and you stay close to your mom, still wary of entering a stranger's home.
As she closes the door behind her, she introduces herself as well, "Sorry, the house is a little messy, we’re still getting settled in. But I'm Nikki, my husband Dominic is unpacking in the kitchen, and this is Tom." She motions to the boy behind her, "Tom, say hello to the nice people!"
He timidly steps forward, waving at you and your parents. "Hello." he says quietly.
"Oh my, he is adorable!" your mom gushes. She walks over to him, "How old are you Tom?"
He holds up two fingers, "This many."
She smiles, "Two years old? Wow, you're so big! Guess what, you know who else is that many?" Tom shakes his head no. "My daughter Y/N!" She motions for you to come, and you shyly walk forward.
You wave at him, and that makes him smile. Nikki taps Tom on the shoulder, "Do you maybe want to show Y/N your toys upstairs?
He nods his head, smiling at you, "Wanna go play?" he asks.
You smile back, looking at your mom for permission. She nods her head and pushes you forward. "Okay, we go." you respond. He takes your hand and pulls you upstairs, seemingly coming out of his shell. You don't know what it is about this boy, but he makes you feel warm, like a hug. It's something your two-year-old brain can't quite comprehend, but suddenly you couldn't care less about watching princess movies or eating ice cream.
Sometimes you wish that day had never happened, that you had never met him. You wish your little two-year-old self had fought harder against your parents so that you wouldn’t have to endure the years of pain he would cause you later in life. But you can’t go back, and in part, you’re glad about that. He was your first friend, your first crush, and your first love. But he was also your first heartbreak, and that’s something you can never forget.
You're snapped out of your thoughts by a sharp knock on your bedroom door. "Hey, are you almost ready? We have to leave in ten or we'll be late!" you hear Julia's muffled voice from the other side of the door. Finn is hosting a gala tonight for his art studio, and being his best friends and roommates, you and Julia are basically required to go.
"Uh, yeah, I'm about done, I'll be out in a minute!" You haven't even started getting ready, but you don't have any more time. You quickly raid your closet and find a short v-neck black dress and matching heels. You wiggle into the dress as you make your way into the bathroom. You had planned on straightening your hair, but you have no time, so instead, you brush it back into a sleek low ponytail and spray it with a bit of hairspray. There's no time for the elaborate makeup look you had planned either, so you quickly throw on some concealer, blush, mascara, eyeliner, a bit of highlight, and you're set. As you walk to the door, you grab your purse and slip on your heels, making sure you have your phone and keys. Finn and Julia are already waiting in the car, both with disapproving looks.
"What the fuck took you so long? We were supposed to leave five minutes ago! You know I can't be late for this thing." Finn complains as you slip into the backseat.
"Sorry, I, uhm, don't feel well. A little nauseous." you lie. You don't feel like telling them that you were actually crying about someone you haven't seen or talked to in two and a half years like you do every other night.
"You're not pregnant are you?" Julia chuckles.
"Oh please, we all know that Y/N hasn't gotten any since he who must not be named." Finn replies for you.
"Thanks Finn, what a great friend." you joke sarcastically.
He's not wrong though. Since you and Tom broke up, you haven’t slept with a single person. You’ve been on a few dates and kissed a few guys, but nothing past that. The closest you got was about a month after Tom broke it off with you. You were looking for someone to take your mind off of him, so you found a random guy named David at a pub and took him back to your place. But as soon as he took off his shirt, you saw a birthmark on his back that looked eerily similar to Tom’s, and you promptly broke down crying.
No matter what you do, you just can’t seem to get him off your mind.
"Alright bitches, we're here." Finn sighs. "Help me bring my stuff in, we don't have much time thanks to someone who took ages to get ready."
You give a halfhearted apology as you grab Finn's paintings from the back of his car. Julia stops you before you follow Finn into the venue, "Babe, are you sure you're doing alright?"
You smile lightly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine."
"Okay, if you say so. And sorry about Finn mentioning... him. It's been two years, he should know better."
"Oh, no. No, don't worry about that. It's okay. I don't care." you lie.
She gives you an encouraging nudge on the shoulder, "Hey, who knows, maybe you'll find a hottie here tonight and finally get back out there! What do you think, huh?"
"Yeah, that would be great, actually. Maybe Finn can introduce me to his friend James, I know he's pretty hot." you say just to get her off your back. You know for a fact that you won't be going home with anyone tonight, but you want to ease her conscience, so you continue to lie.
"That's the spirit! Good luck hun, love you."
"Thanks Jules, love you too." you smile.
Halfway through the gala, you already want to go home. Finn is over at the bar flirting with some guy, probably trying to get him to buy his artwork. Meanwhile, Julia has disappeared into the bathroom with her boyfriend Ollie, who she invited about thirty minutes into the event because she "got bored."
You look at your phone and realize it's already midnight, and you know the event won't be ending anytime soon. You slowly make your way over to Finn through the sea of people and tap him on the shoulder, drawing his attention away from whatever guy he's flirting with.
"Hey Y/N, how's it going with James?" he asks excitedly.
"Oh, um, it didn't work out, thanks for introducing me though. I just wanted to come tell you that I'm still not feeling well, so I think I'm gonna head home, sorry."
"Oh, okay, no problem. You're probably gonna be alone tonight though, just a heads up. Jules is going back to Ollie's for the night, and" he starts to whisper, "I think I might be going home with this hunk."
You laugh, "Okay, thanks Finn, see you tomorrow then."
"Bye babe. Do you have a ride?" he questions.
"Uh, no, I'm just gonna Uber home, it's no problem."
Finn gasps, "Not this late at night you're not! Let me drive you, hottie with a body over here can wait."
"No, no, don't let me ruin your night. I'll just call Sam then."
His eyes widen, "Like... his brother Sam?"
"Yeah, we're friends still, it's not a big deal. Trust me."
"Okay, fine. But text me when you get home, okay?"
"Okay, love you Finn, see you later." you give him a quick hug and walk outside to call Sam.
You aren't lying, you and Sam are still good friends. Back when you and Tom were together, Sam was the brother that you were closest to, and you felt that it would be unfair to cut ties with the rest of the Hollands just because Tom was a dick to you seeing as they were as much of a family to you as your own parents were, maybe even more. He was attending culinary school in the area anyway, so you decide he’s the best person to call.
As expected, he's happy to drive you home, and about ten minutes later he arrives at the venue where you are still standing outside.
"Hey Sam, I'm sorry for calling this late, but thank you so much for picking me up." you smile as you slide into the passenger seat.
"It's no problem, I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. How've you been?"
"Fine, I guess. How about you?"
"C'mon, I know that look. Something's up with you." he pries.
"I told you on the phone, I'm just not feeling well." you lie, hoping he doesn't catch on.
"It's Tom isn't it?"
"How the fuck do you always know?"
He chuckles. "He is my brother, remember? And you're basically my sister too. I've known you both for literally my entire life, so trust me, I know when it's about him."
You sign in defeat, "I don't know why I can't get over him Sam. It's been nearly three years since we broke up, and I haven't seen him since. My roommates think I'm overreacting, and honestly, I'm starting to agree with them. I should be moved on by now, but I just can't stop thinking about him."
"Hey, hey, don't listen to them, you aren't overreacting. You and Tom were literally attached at the hip for twenty two years, and you weren't even dating for most of them. It's completely normal for you to feel like this, trust me. And I know it doesn't help much for me to say this because I've said it a million times before, but Tom's a complete dick for what he did to you. He's my brother, and I love him, but he's a dick."
"Thanks Sam. I just wish I knew why, y'know? Why, after twenty-two fucking years, he just completely cut me out of his life." you feel your eyes brimming with tears.
"I wish I could have an answer for you Y/N, I really do. But I haven't got a clue. Hell, I honestly don't even know if Tom knows why he did it."
You sigh, "Well, he must have had a reason. Plus, he seems to be doing great in Hollywood. He seems perfectly happy without me."
"You've been stalking him on Instagram, haven't you?" Sam chuckles.
You laugh, "Shut up." That's the great thing about Sam. He can always lighten up a situation, no matter how serious or how sad. Tom did the same thing, that was one of the things you liked most about him.
You and Sam sit in silence for a few minutes, until he finally breaks it. "He's not, you know."
"Huh?" you question, confused.
"He's not happy. You said he seems happy without you, but he's not. He's doing terribly, and it's not just from stress or his work. He won't admit it, but he misses you." he pauses, "I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but he asked about you the other day. About how you were doing and shit like that. I think he would take it back if he could."
You want so badly to believe him, belief that Tom actually still cares about you after all this time. But false hope is the last thing you need right now.
"Well, he can't, can he?" you say sharply, tears still threatening to flow out.
You and Sam sit in silence for the last five minutes of the ride back to your apartment. As he slows the car to a stop, Sam looks over at you sympathetically, "Look, I'm sorry if what I said made things worse. I just wanted you to know that your feelings aren't... one-sided I guess."
You know better than to yell at Sam, he was just trying to make you feel better, so instead of spitting out the sarcastic remark that was on your tongue, you manage out a half-hearted, "It's okay, thanks Sam." and shut the car door.
As soon as the door of your apartment closes behind you, all of the emotions come crashing down on you. A mixture of sadness, anger, guilt, and regret crushed your heart, smashing it into a million little pieces. It feels like two and a half years ago, when he first broke up with you, all over again. Everything was fine until Sam brought him up again, and the memories just all flooded back in. You fall to the floor, clutching your chest in pain, wishing someone was here for you. Wishing he was here for you. At the moment, it feels like you have no one. In reality, you do; you have an entire support system of people who love you so much and would do anything to protect you. But you only want him. You need him. He is the only person you have ever wanted, ever needed, and he's gone.
You want to hate him, you really do. He's caused you more pain in the past two and a half years than anyone or anything has ever caused you in your entire life. But you can't. You can never, and will never, hate him. Which makes you hate yourself.
After what feels like hours of crying, you finally calm down. There's no one at home to talk to and it's too late to call anyone at this point, so you flip on the tv. There's nothing good on Netflix or Hulu that you haven't seen yet, so you scroll through the other apps. You remember that you just got a free Apple TV subscription with your new phone, so you check to see what's on there.
And there it is. Cherry.
His face right on the screen in front of you, lighting your dark bedroom red. You know it's a bad idea and you know you'll regret it, but something draws you to watch it. You need him right now, and this is about the closest you're going to get.
It's fine at first. It's actually nice to see his face again after so long. He looks basically the same as the last time you saw him, just a little more mature. You feel good supporting him, even if he doesn't know it.
But then it's not fine. His character had just gotten into a fight with his girlfriend, so she comes to visit him in his apartment. They talk, and eventually he reveals that he joined the army and has to go away for two years.
"It's just a couple years. Just a couple years and a lifetime together." he whispers.
Then it all hits you, and you break down crying once again. You can't help but think back to that night in the treehouse, and how the conversation is so eerily similar. You wonder if Tom was thinking about it too, while he was filming the scene. Obviously, the circumstances were different, but it still makes you wonder.
You quickly shut the TV off, unable to bear it anymore. With nothing else to do, you try to sleep, but your thoughts keep you up. And as much as you try to fight it, your mind drifts back to the day you so badly want to forget. The day that it all ended.
"Hey, Tommy, what's up? I'm excited to see you tonight!" you pick up the phone. Tom is supposed to come back to London after filming his first solo Spiderman movie, and you could not be more excited to see him. It's been almost a full year since he left for America, and you miss him so much.
"Yea, uhm, about that. Plans have, er, changed a bit." you can hear the solemn tone in his voice.
"Oh no, what happened? Did your flight get delayed or something? I know there's some rough weather in Atlanta, but I didn't realize it was that bad."
"No, no, it's not that. I don't really know how to say this," he sighs, "I'm not coming home."
Your heart drops to your stomach. "What?"
"Yeah. I'm, um, I'm staying in America for now. I found a house in LA, it's nice."
"Well when are you coming back then?" you utter in disbelief.
"Not anytime soon. I have work, so it's just easier for me to be in America. I'm sorry." his tone is stiff.
"But what about us? I miss you so much, these past few months have already been hell for me. I don't think I can survive much longer without seeing you."
No response.
"Tom, are you still there? You know I can't move in with you. I'm already enrolled in university here in London, I can't drop everything and come to America if that's what you want."
"That's not what I want." At this point he seems to have no emotion in his voice, as if he's reading directly from a script.
"So then what do you want?" you start to really worry, tears already stinging your eyes.
"I think you can probably figure that out by now, Y/N."
"Tom, no. You seriously can't be thinking-"
"Yeah, I am thinking that. You've already said that these past few months have been hell, and I'm too busy with work, so I think that's the only option."
You plead with him, "Tom, please! We can figure this out, I love you so much. We can't break up Tom, I can't lose you." You're sobbing at this point, scared to lose the one person you need the most.
"No, we can't figure this out. We have to break up, there's no other choice."
"What happened to you and me forever? That- that night in the treehouse you said you wouldn't let anything come between us!"
"We were kids, Y/N! We had no idea what our lives were going to turn out like. That was a stupid thing to say and I never should have said it, okay? You can't keep every promise you make, especially when you're eighteen. But we're mature adults now, and the mature way to handle this is to break up. Understand?" His voice is booming through your phone speaker, and it's nothing you've ever heard come from him before. He was always calm, looking for a way to work things out. But now, he's completely giving up.
"Tom, please, I-"
"No, Y/N, I don't have time for this right now, I'm sorry. Goodbye."
He hung up. He's gone.
That was the last time you spoke to him. You didn't even get to properly say goodbye, let alone see his face before he was gone forever.
Unbeknownst to you, that phone call is still, to this day, Tom's biggest regret. Almost immediately after he hung up, he wished he had never called you in the first place. He was stressed from work, he was angry at his management team for making him stay in America, but most of all he missed you. So he did the only thing he could think of to take it all away - separate himself from you. He thought that if he broke up with you, he would feel better about his career choices and he wouldn’t have to wwc:orry about missing you anymore because it would be over.
He was wrong.
Every day since then, he’s wanted to call you, text, you, or somehow contact you to apologize; explain why he did what he did and how he still loves you, still needs you, still misses you every second of his life. But he knows he can’t. You would never be able to forgive him for breaking it all off so suddenly. There’s no way in hell you could still love him after something like that.
So he’s stayed out of reach from you for good. And he hopes that maybe one day he’ll be able to move on, find someone new like you’ve probably done by now. But deep down he knows he never will.
You’re still unable to sleep, and now that it’s almost four in the morning, you decide that you probably won’t be able to for the rest of the night. Not knowing what else’s to do, you begrudgingly roll out of bed and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As you fill up your mug with warm water, you hear a knock at the door.
Who the fuck would be coming to your apartment this early? You suspect it’s Finn, as he always manages to forget his key. Maybe his night with the mystery bar hunk didn’t go as well as he had planned. You quickly set a tea bag in your mug and walk to open the door.
“Back so soon Fi... what the fuck.” your heart drops to your stomach.
It’s him. The same brown-haired, brown-eyed, British boy that you remember, staring down at you from outside your apartment at four in the morning.
“Hey.”
~~~~~~~~
tags: @pxkajesus @roseke @agentsofparker @lifeasjazzz @damnrancidchicken @tomhoelland01 @iwannabekilledtwice @rafehogwarts @non-eexistent @rosiexx8 @nearlydanger9 @realityisabitch07 @midgardassassins @jbreenr @cap-marvxl @ellesmythe @deepestcolorgiantopera @that-one-person @nevertrustapanda16 @rxmanxff @bubbleskz @quinn-spn58 @idkkkkaaw @aayaissaa @pjmjams @tiredstudenttrinity @isabella-bby @hollandprkr @pure-ghost @ladykxxx08 @white-wolf1940 @runawayolives @geekgirleve @thathurtbrolol @lost-girl24 @justafangirlduh @emistrash @writingrem @hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @mathletemadison @paulaabellag @miraclesoflove @captainamirica @mlmarint @quaksonhehe @laneybobeczko-g @peterspideysense @hollandstanevans @anna-sofia
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