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#they agree they have a lot in common and can empathize with each other
hotdogdynamitezzz · 2 years
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Tough Placements that Indicate a Hard Life | 1
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Disclaimer: having these placements does not automatically make your life hard, these are common placement patterns dedicated to each SPECIFIC area of life. The Financial and Identity sections are now available in PART 2!
MASTERLIST
These are split into two sections! In part two there will be more sections :) Enjoy.
1. Home life and Emotions.
2. Enemies.
Family Life & Emotionality:
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Sun in 8th House: Usually these people have a strained relationship with their dad or the father figure in the family. Often times the dad is powerful and has gained mounts of success and respect, however, the dad usually has moments where he loses himself, can’t remain reliable, is mean towards the family, and is an indicator of a dad who wastes the families income yet they are seen as a hero or alpha by other males due to the sun’s glorious or even famous disposition. However, the 8th house hides the dad’s problems through a heroic image and gives the child trust issues because their dad is nothing like people claim to know. It’s also an indicator of health problems and the death of the father early on in the child's life.
Moon in the 6th House: This one I ignored before until I dug deeper. The effects of the moon here can grant a turbulent daily life full of emotional ups and downs, yet they are trained to hide it just as well as 8th house moons because their mother figures were insanely critical of them and didn’t accept any sign of emotions or expression. I feel bad for those who are neurodivergent and have this placement because the maternal figure probably expected perfection and conformity in how the child acts and thinks. Or else, I've seen these moms act like they don’t even know their kids unless they achieved an outstanding goal. Basically, a lot of internalized pain with this placement, and often you encounter emotionally unstable people in public or have faced a painful animal death in your family. Watch out for health problems and depression as Mercury rules over Virgo/6th house, and the moon combined with mercurial energy tends to suffer a lot with their mental health. 
Moon in Scorpio: A classic hard family life placement. I’ve never met a Scorpio moon who didn’t suffer from family problems, specifically the mother figure. Their mother tried to gaslight, compete, or even withhold these moon signs from their friends or hobbies simply because the mother never viewed these things of worth or would become suspicious of new people. Blackmail is common, and so are some financial issues within the family. You’re probably the detective in your family and have a natural talent to locate hidden items. These people just want to feel accepted by their mom or family no matter how much they rebel or fight it. They crave true family love and stability.
Moon opposite/conjunct Neptune: I’ve met some people and I hate to say this...but delusional rings a bell. They want to believe they are loved by others and that people have the best intentions for them because that answer was often unclear in their home life. So as a result of an incredible amount of manipulation from the family, this person really does think toxic love could be healthy, or that whatever someone labels them as they internalize it and see themselves as a reflection of what others want. There could’ve been an issue of substance abuse within the family, or just indulgence in anything. Toxic religious views or purity culture may have been forced onto you as Neptune is associated with the higher realm and religion. They do love to connect with others but usually miss the red flags. Don’t get caught up in gossip or labels because you have a tendency to agree with most irrational reasonings as moon - neptune people can empathize with all sides of a situation. Please take time to accept yourself first before seeking it out in groups.
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Moon conjunct/square Pluto: Power struggles in the family are very common with this aspect, I’ve also met some people who are very explosive. I’d say they have such intense emotions overwhelming them to the point where they actually can’t even hide them. They also similar to a Scorpio moon spend a great deal of their time trying to be accepted by the mom or family but end up feeling resentment and jealousy. The difference is I repeatedly see the same pattern with this aspect and not even having a physical or emotional home. It’s destroyed literally or figuratively, they crave an actual home the most and are prone to always moving and never having a stable home life. They are paranoid about any intruder or loss in the home, and their birth was very intense that may have almost resulted in the mother dying too. To end this, I know most people think this aspect hides their emotions but I’ve seen the opposite with the conjunction and square as if they just explode and go ice cold periodically. 
Pluto in the 2nd/4th House: Pluto in the 2nd accounts for broken confidence and never feeling good enough, a fear of failure and loss overcomes them and usually they were withheld physical possessions they found important for their mental health as a child like a teddy bear to sleep. People try to target their valuables and money, often being the center of scandals because they want to ruin this individual’s worth on every level. Jealousy runs high as it’s associated with venus and gifted resources. Pluto in 4th could honestly manifest as literal homelessness or an extremely powerful yet deceitful family. It reminds me of the royal family where they have this image of being perfect and elegant but on the inside, there’s tremendous amounts of backstabbing, lies, and very strict training or parenting. Usually, it’s always held together or torn apart by money and public affairs too interestingly.
Saturn in the 4th House: Strict parents, a very pushy family who always tried to control what you do and never let you have much freedom to figure out what YOU really want to do with your life. Parents are overprotective and hover over the child nonstop. You’re sheltered but also harshly taught and expected to perform without fail. You really do crave that emotional freedom to just laugh, be stupid, and have fun in your childhood. But, that was usually restricted as Saturn is cold and restrictive in nature. There could’ve been the death of the dad within the family or a very karmic lesson centered around the dad they must learn for the family’s benefit. 
Lilith in 4th House: It’s giving evil stepmom vibes I’m sorry. The mother could’ve sought to make your family hate you and spread lies, or even separate you from the family entirely. There’s a big theme of jealousy, resentment, and rumours with this. Expect to be the center of family gossip and feel betrayed by mother figures. Good luck bbys...
Lilith in the 8th House: Similar to the 4th house alternatively, but also entirely different. Basically, Lilith here brings some sort of dark feminine trauma into your life. I’ve known people whose moms always humiliated them, were too open or restrictive about intimacy and sex, or even shamed the child for their family members’ death. it’s just so much dark energy present in the individual’s life that made them want to hide and feel ashamed of themselves when everything is out of their control and they’re usually innocent. It’s powerful but way too much to handle for the individual.
Enemies:
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Pluto in the 6th House: This is extremely difficult as your health might fail you sometimes. You are prone to getting sick more than the rest and your daily life is filled with unfortunate events or random enemies popping up when you’re just minding your business sheesh. Sometimes you don’t trust healthcare or have negative experiences with hospitals because they could’ve messed up before. Sticking to a daily routine is hard because you are forced to constantly restructure yourself and your life as nothing can really manage or predict the things you go through. I have Pluto transiting my 6th house right now and lemme tell you it’s a bitch. Lowkey you witness random shady events that occur in public too, I call this the undercover cop placement.
Pluto in the 10th House: It holds a lot of power but you always face people trying to tear you down out of spite because of your success. This is a very influential placement that exposes you to the public and your reputation is polarizing due to rumours spread and power dynamics in your relationship with your public image and career. Usually, these rumours are wrong too, and people purposely target you because they see your influence and innovative ways as a threat. You want to hide from the public but you just can’t. You have a wide audience of people watching you and sometimes it feels like you never get a break. At the end of the day, no matter how much you’re torn down I always see this placement make it big with whatever they choose to do.
Uranus in the 8th House: Spiritual hauntings or predictive dreams are common here. You could have spirits in your home that are loud and like to cause a ruckus just to scare you. There’s also a sensitivity to energies and people can sense this. People seek to expose your secrets online or you randomly find yourself going viral for something horribly embarrassing lol. Either way, this placement gets their secrets, identity, and income leaked online at some point due to enemies that randomly dislike you out of the blue. Honestly, you may not feel safe talking to people about anything because you always feel judged and critiqued for your own inquisitive thoughts or creative ideas. People don’t want to see you sparkle and stand out so they try to make you seem weird.  
Neptune in the 10th House: People don’t really know who you are, they project their insecurities onto you and make it seem like you’re an awful or godsent person. Often time and time again your words are taken heavily out of context and twisted into phrases that don’t reflect who you are. It can feel impossible to connect with people or simply just speak up about anything due to this twisted nature that is present in your workspace dynamic. I see superiors trying to take advantage of your work and claiming it as their own so be careful and self-preserve your creations a bit. You don’t have to constantly help people to the point of your downfall.
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Saturn in the 1st House: Lessons are taught in self-expression and structuring your identity. Through these lessons, people can treat you harsher than usual and look down on you. There’s often either an intimidated or condescending tone in people’s voices when they interact with you. Usually, these people are quite lonely for some time as others don’t readily accept them and view them as mean when they’re very nice people. Because the 1st house deals with how we perceive the world, you experience it through a lonely and hurt lens. It’s important to know once you prove your enemies wrong you cannot look down on others as Saturn brings karma here.
8th House ruler in the 6th House: the amount of crazy shit that goes on is undeniable. It’s a bit like Pluto in the 6th house except all the aspects of your 8th house are placed into your daily life. You could very well encounter dangerous people, face weird circumstances, or even work in the occult somehow. Look at the sign in your 8th house and that often encompasses your experiences.
Chiron/Pluto in the 11th House: friends and the internet become your wounded healer. You probably felt like the third wheel in a lot of friendships and most of them talked behind your back. I can definitely see this placement wanting to isolate themselves but hurting from the loneliness. Your ideas were never taken seriously no matter the work and originality you put in but once someone else does it, suddenly it’s accepted and normalized.
Lilith in the 7th House: Whenever you crush on someone or commit to a romantic relationship there’s ALWAYS a third party that is jealous of you and wants to destroy your relationship. Or, the person you’re involved with hides secrets from you and tears down your confidence. Usually, feminine individuals are your enemies as Lilith is in a venus-ruled house. Rumours are frequent here too as this is the house of rumours and open enemies. Lilith rules over what you are and not what you are seen as unless it is aspecting the ascendant, so this combination creates a persona of underlying mischief or intentions other people see in you as a threat even if you’re just a baddie going through their day.
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anneapocalypse · 1 year
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Why Anders and Fenris can't be friends (in the game)
Recently I made a short post that was supposed to stay that way, but instead it took over my brain for several days so I'm going to expand on it. In that post, I said:
"Why can't Fenris and Anders get along? Why can't they see what they have in common?" Because it's a story about how people can be practically and philosophically correct about a specific thing, and also get so mired in their own pain and trauma that they can't relate to people whose pain and trauma comes from a different source and who are right about something else, especially if trying to reconcile those two things would threaten their sense of self. And that is, imo, both more interesting and more true to the human experience than if they simply looked past all that without any difficulty.
So, with that as our starting point, why don't Anders and Fenris find common ground by the end of the game? Wouldn't that be a strong character arc for both of them, and aren't both characters lesser for not getting there? Is this an oversight, rushed development, bad writing?
I think the answer to these questions lies in the journeys that Anders and Fenris are each on over the course of the game, and in this post I'm going to explore both of their arcs a bit, where they’re both going and why their paths are divergent in the game. Specifically I mean to argue here that they cannot find common ground during the game because Fenris spends the game finding safety, while Anders spends the game becoming progressively less safe.
Disclaimer time! This post is not meant as a refutation of anyone’s ships or headcanons! You do you. What I hope to explore here is why things go the way they do in the game itself.
I’m also aware that this game has been out for over a decade, that there is nothing new under the sun, that both of these characters provoke strong feelings in a lot of us, and that some fans are just tired of hearing about them in general. If the latter is you, please feel free to scroll right on by; no need to inform me.
This analysis will necessarily involve discussing both characters’ flaws as well as their strengths (as well as those of some other characters), but it’s coming from a place of love and appreciation for these characters as complex and multi-faceted. Please refrain from expressing character hate on this post.
Content warnings: discussion of slavery, the Chantry explosion, abuse and trauma generally.
Anders' Journey
It has been said that Anders' character arc in DA2 is a downward spiral while Fenris is on a slow road to recovery. And I basically agree with that, but I don't think of it as a downward spiral in terms of negative character growth, precisely. While I do think there are ways in which Anders becomes less able and willing to empathize with others over the course of the game, I consider that more of a side effect of what's happening to him than a sign of him being on some kind of moral downturn.
To me, the downward spiral is that Anders spends the entire game losing hope.
As an apostate in Kirkwall (and a possessed one at that), I think it is important to recognize that Anders is never truly safe. It seems likely to me that the only reason he remains free for so long is because he happens to befriend some very powerful and influential people in Kirkwall—most notably, Varric Tethras, who is known to pay people off to keep his friends safe from the city's various criminal organizations, and I don't think it's unlikely that he's payed off templars as well.
Even in his closest circle of friends, Anders isn't completely safe. And it isn't Fenris who poses the greatest danger to him! The one character who actively suggests they turn in Anders (and Merrill) to the templars is Sebastian in Act III—and it's Fenris who brushes him off, telling him to "work it out with Hawke." I don't think Fenris would lose any sleep if it happened, but he actively declines to be a part of it. While Fenris is not above turning in mages generally (he will rat out Emile de Launcet to the Knight-Commander if brought along for “On the Loose”), there's no evidence that Fenris has ever made an active attempt to turn Hawke's mage companions over to the templars; if nothing else, he has too much respect for Hawke.
There's another companion who we know has turned mages in. Aveline and Anders get off to a pretty sour start right in Act I when Aveline asks if she can "consult" with him, and Anders guesses (rightly, it seems) that she just wants information on how to fight and kill mages. Needless to say, he is not forthcoming with help. Their Act II banter begins with Anders pointing out that she isn't a particularly mage-friendly Captain of the Guard, where Aveline counters that she’s only turned “a handful” over to the templars. Between Act II and Act III, there is a mounting tension between the two of them, with Anders in the final act doing his best to nudge Aveline away from defending the templars. Not even ideologically—he knows that's a losing battle with Aveline—but by bringing up Meredith's overreach and the fact that even Donnic doesn't agree with the Knight-Commander. When explaining to Hawke why he hasn't included them in the Mage Underground, Anders cites Hawke's connections to the nobility and to the Guard. It's no mystery who he's talking about.
There are people among Hawke's companions who pose an actual danger to Anders—and Fenris is not at the top of that list, no matter how much they may despise each other. And I think Anders' interactions with Fenris are especially vitriolic, not in spite of that fact, but because of it. I'd say similar of Merrill, the other companion Anders arguably has the most acrimony with. Neither Fenris nor Merrill poses any true threat to Anders. They are both elves who do not benefit from drawing attention to themselves; Merrill is a blood mage and Fenris an escaped former slave. While both of them hold views that make them philosophically or potentially dangerous, neither has ever actually acted against Anders.
Now, Anders does argue with Aveline and Sebastian. Repeatedly. He's not shy about stating his opinions and questioning theirs. But notice how the way he argues differs with each character. With Aveline, he appeals to her sense of order and propriety. With Sebastian, he appeals to his sense of righteousness. We see this particularly in Act III, once things have gotten especially dire. And he does start out similarly with Fenris, trying to draw a comparison between mages in the Circles and slaves in Tevinter—a tactic which utterly fails to move Fenris, and Anders drops it pretty quickly.
I think Anders' dialogue with Fenris gets especially nasty a) because Fenris is a rival against whom Anders can afford to vent his anger with less restraint, and b) because Fenris's existence makes Anders feel threatened in an entirely different way than Aveline and Sebastian. Anders knows that the Captain of the Guard and the noble-turned-Chantry-brother are not on his side, and it is in his best interest to be persuasive toward them, but also philosophically they're opposed to him in a way that he finds easy to refute. He is very firm in his convictions that the Circles are unjust and that they are a corruption of what Andraste taught and fought for. He may have little chance of actually persuading Aveline and Sebastian, but he's also in no danger of being persuaded by them. In other words, they may threaten his physical safety and that of other mages, but they do not challenge his core beliefs, his sense of self.
But Fenris does.
Anders has spent most of his life locked up for being a mage, running away and being caught, and subject to profound abuses. Since his final escape and joining with Justice, he has found purpose and hope in fighting for the cause of mage freedom. If his cause is just, then it is worth living for and fighting for, what he has lost he can endure, and what he’s had to do for that cause is justified. If he admits to himself that magic is itself a power that can be abused, that magic has anything to do with the atrocities Tevinter, that calls his purpose into question. If the unchecked use of magic has the potential to create a society just as unjust as the one he knows, that unravels his present idea of justice, which is quite literally part of his identity!
And maybe if this were a different story, Anders' arc would be about confronting those challenges and deciding how to move forward with them. But this isn't that story, because this is a story set in Kirkwall, where the templars' abuses of power over mages are happening right now, right in front of him, and every effort he makes to change that is systematically crushed.
This is really critical to Anders' arc! He is not a character who has spent the whole game achieving his goals and then escalating those goals. Almost everything he has tried to do has failed. And it's really not due to any strategic failing on his part; the Circle is just too powerful. His attempt to save Karl introduces this theme right at the beginning. Anders does his best; he does everything he can. But he is up against forces he cannot stop. Karl is doomed by the narrative so that we can understand what Anders is facing.
And it does not get any better! There's another tumblr post out there about how every companion quest for Anders is basically you go to see how he's doing, and he's doing bad. And it's true! Because things just keep getting worse. His Act II quest "Dissent" gives us a firsthand glimpse of the abuses taking place inside the Circle. "Dissent" is sometimes read as an example of Anders' paranoia, because both the Knight-Commander and the Grand Cleric had rejected Ser Alrik's plan to make all mages tranquil. I don't fully agree with that reading. Anders knows that such a proposal has been drawn up, and he is absolutely correct about that. He just doesn't know it’s been rejected, and frankly from where he’s standing, he has every reason to worry it might not be. Furthermore, Anders tells Hawke that there are templars within the Circle, most notoriously Ser Alrik, who are misusing the Rite of Tranquility even by Circle standards and who enjoy torturing and abusing mages—and then we see exactly that firsthand with Alrik and Ella, so Anders was entirely correct in that case.
By Act III, the Mage Underground has been completely dismantled, the Knight-Commander has openly seized control of Kirkwall, and half of Anders' own social group will still barely admit there's a problem. His ambient dialogue as early as the end of Act II is "I can't go on like this." It's hard not to feel the sheer despair radiating off Anders by the third Act.
His attack on the Chantry is not something he was always planning and working toward. It's a last resort he undertakes because every other avenue has failed. In seven years, he has helped to free individual mages, but he has made no progress toward dismantling or frankly even improving the Circle as a whole; in fact, it's only gotten worse. Now the lives of every mage in the Circle are threatened as Meredith seeks the Right of Annulment for little more than suspicions of blood magic. Individual rescues are not a solution. His written appeals to the public have had little practical effect. If he wants to save Kirkwall's mages, he has very few options left.
And if you listen to the way Anders speaks—if you look at his face after the explosion as he waits for Hawke's response—he is not happy about this. He is not dancing on the ashes. In fact, he looks heartbroken. There is collateral damage from the Chantry explosion and Anders knows there will be and he does not take that lightly. This is foreshadowed very well in a piece of banter with Isabela:
Anders: There is justice in the world. Isabela: Is there? You want to free the mages. Let's say you do, but to get there, you kill a bunch of innocent people. Isabela: What about them? Don't they then deserve justice? Anders: Yes.
Anders accepts this justice. He leaves Hawke out of his plans regardless of whether Hawke would have supported him because he means to accept the consequences for himself. He accepts whatever sentence he is given without resistance.
Regardless of how you feel about Anders' attack on the Chantry (and I'd prefer not to fight with anyone about that here), I recount all of this to make the point that his arc in the game is a long slide into despair and desperation, and for what I think are very understandable reasons. And over these seven years, it's pretty clear that Anders feels increasingly alone in his efforts. He feels like everyone is against him. There are things he feels he cannot tell even Hawke, no matter how supportive Hawke may be, because of Hawke's connections.
These are basically the worst possible conditions for a person to be able to extend patience and empathy to someone of very different experience with whom they are ideologically at odds.
Anders straight up doesn't have any energy, or emotional bandwidth, or whatever you want to call it, left for that. When he says, "I am the cause of mages. There is nothing else inside me," he means it. He is drained—emotionally, spiritually, probably physically, in all possible ways. He is particularly caustic in the back half of the game, and at times says some truly mean and petty things to and about other characters and I will not defend those things, but it is so understandable to me why he gets like this, stretched absolutely to the breaking point and ready to snap.
Anders' journey in Dragon Age II is a tragedy. Depending on the choices Hawke makes, it may not be the end of his story; there is still the possibility that he lives to see a changing world in which he himself can begin, after all these years, to breathe easier, to heal. I think that's going to be a long process, but it is absolutely possible.
Within the timeframe of the game itself, I don't think it is possible for Anders to go on the journey he's on and also figure out how to get along with Fenris. In fact I think those two things are antithetical to each other. Post-game, the world is wide with possibility. But not in the game itself. "Learn how to play well with others" (especially others who are diametrically opposed to everything he believes in) is so emphatically not the story being told with Anders in this game, and the entire climax of the game is built on top of the story it's been telling us with Anders. Because of that, I cannot see "Anders and Fenris become friends" as what could have been or what should have been. It's not just an add-on in this case; it's a change that rewrites the whole story.
Fenris's Journey
Upon arriving in Kirkwall, Fenris's history does at first glance share a lot of commonalities with Anders: he is an escapee who's managed to evade his captors for a few years now, and in Kirkwall he finds reason to settle down, though he is not out of danger yet.
But their paths start to diverge pretty much immediately.
First, let's just acknowledge that Kirkwall is, objectively, a safer city for Fenris than it is for Anders. That's not to say it is truly safe; Danarius is still hunting for Fenris and has connections in Kirkwall, and no human city is particularly safe for elves. Fenris finds himself pursued at some point in every act, culminating with Danarius himself in Act III.
Fenris is, however, much more able to defend himself against hired mobs of slavers operating illegally in the south than a lone apostate is able to defend him against an army of templars who have the backing of the city guard should they decide to actually come for him. Fenris's pursuers do not rule Kirkwall, and they don't have the guard on their side; they do not have a base of operations just a short boat ride away, and they are not sending troops to daily patrol the streets and look for a person of his description.
Had Fenris stayed in Tevinter, that would be exactly his situation, and if Anders had fled north, the templars tracking him would likely have faced more difficulty apprehending him. But this story doesn't take place in Tevinter, it takes place in Kirkwall, and Fenris has some advantage here just by nature of have escaped to the south.
Is Fenris truly safe in Kirkwall? No, and that's the setup for his whole character arc. The critical difference is that Fenris's arc is toward finding safety, while Anders' is not.
Let us note also that there is no one in Hawke's immediate friend group actively threatening to sell Fenris back into slavery. The Captain of the Guard, while she needles him about squatting in Hightown, also does not take the side of slavers. Even the pirate is against the trafficking of people. The only one in that group who has the potential to do such a thing to Fenris is Hawke, and only if Hawke decides to recruit Fenris, pretend to be his friend for seven years (even rivalries are still fundamentally friendships, just more challenging and complicated ones), before selling him out for, at most, a sum that should frankly be an insult to Hawke at that point in their career.
Hawke’s mage companions feel like threats to Fenris, yes, because his life experience has led him to conclude that no mage is truly safe. Anders and Merrill in particular represent the additional dangers of abominations and blood mages, respectively. But Anders’ core convictions pose a particular challenge not only to Fenris’ worldview, but to the very sense of safety he has only just begun to have.
Fenris spent most of his life enslaved and subjected to profound abuses. Since his escape to the south, he has found a sense of safety in the black-and-white concept that mages are dangerous and only non-mages can be trusted. If this is true, it means that in a world where mages are locked up, he can be safe. If what happened to him is, even in a broad sense, not unique to a land ruled by mages, then it could happen anywhere. (And unfortunately, that’s true. The slave trade is alive and well in the south, illegal though it may be, as we see in our many encounters with slavers.) If he admits to himself that many mages are just like him–subject to profound abuse and deserving of freedom—that sense of safety he is building for himself as a free man in the south is shattered. While he is still on the run, actively evading capture, this is not a possibility he is emotionally able to entertain.
It may be said that Fenris’s arc is about learning to let go of his anger; I disagree with that reading, or at least I think it is a very incomplete one. For one thing, it misses the very important point that the person his anger is for is still alive and actively pursuing him for most of the game. It’s easy to take Flemeth’s remark to Fenris, “The chains are broken, but are are you truly free?” as like, a philosophical statement, but no! He literally is not truly free so long as he still has to live as a fugitive, always looking over his shoulder, always waiting for the inevitable. He tells this to Hawke right in Act I: he will never truly be free until Danarius is dead, and if Danarius doesn’t show up eventually, Fenris will go hunt him down himself.
He is angry about this. He carries a deep rage not only for what has been done to him, what has been stolen from him, but also that even now Danarius is still taking from him and fucking up his life. Listen to the fury with which he says, “I was a fool to think I was free,” during “A Bitter Pill” in Act II.
And he needs that anger. Right now, that anger is still protecting him. It gives him the courage, as he says, to “turn and face the tiger.” His hatred of Hadriana compels him to seek her out and kill her rather than running again. And killing Hadriana is absolutely the right decision! There is nothing to be gained from leaving her alive, she certainly doesn’t deserve his mercy, and taking her out of the picture eliminates one more tool Danarius can use against him.
Where this scene shows Fenris’s need for growth is when he then lashes out at Hawke, regardless of their response. His anger isn’t the problem; his anger is valid and necessary. The problem is that it sometimes targets the wrong people: mages generally and his own friends in specific. But until Danarius is dead, Fenris cannot let go of that anger because it is necessary for his survival.
If you’re a Fenris fan, you know that moment in Act III in the Hanged Man, when he’s come to meet Varania and he sees Danarius. The expression on his face when the camera zooms in is nothing like the way he looks at Hadriana, with unfettered rage. The look when he sees Danarius is pure horror. He’s been waiting for this confrontation for ten years, but I think in that moment we realize he has also been terrified of it. He remembers what happened the last time he had a taste of freedom and Danarius came for him, and though he knows he has grown since then, those emotions are still there—the horror of having turned on the people who sheltered him, the shame of realizing how deep his conditioning was, the revulsion at what Danarius had made him. Anger has kept those feelings at a distance, but now, with Danarius before him at last, he must confront them all over again. Only this time, with friends at his back, he will fight.
With Danarius dead, it’s finally over. And whether Fenris chose to kill or spare his sister, he is now forced to confront the person he’s had to be to survive until this point.
The point of Fenris’s restlessness and dissatisfaction following his victory isn’t that killing Danarius was wrong or pointless. On the contrary: we have seen throughout the entire game that there was no other way for him to truly find freedom. At the risk of getting too clinical here, trauma (which includes long periods of unrelenting high stress) tends to leave people with emotions and coping mechanisms that were necessary for their survival at the time but become maladaptive once they are away from their trauma stressors. We have already seen this with Fenris, in the way his anger sometimes targets the wrong people, and Fenris himself is aware of this, at least in his interpersonal relationships: on his own initiative he seeks Hawke out to apologize after lashing out at them. In Act II, I think we even see the early stages of Fenris beginning to extend his circle of empathy after “Dissent,” when instead of calling Anders a monster, he suggests that Anders realize his limitations, adding that it was a suggestion, not a condemnation. I think it helps in that moment that Anders seems to take responsibility for what he did, or almost did, to Ella, even if he understandably does not react well to Fenris’s “suggestion.”
And now that Danarius is dead, Fenris is beginning to realize that while his fight for freedom is over, his path to healing has really just begun. There’s a reason he isn’t ready for a romantic relationship with Hawke until Act III, and it isn’t just that intimacy was triggering or the brief recovery of his memories upsetting. Until Danarius is dead, Fenris’s emotional growth really can only go so far, because he is still at least partly stuck in survival mode, and the anger and the blanket concept of “mages dangerous” are coping mechanisms he has developed in order to survive.
With Danarius dead, now Fenris can begin to let go. Now he can go further in examining who deserves his anger and who does not. Now he can begin to truly heal. And can he learn to sympathize with mages one day and stop seeing magic as the ultimate evil? I actually do think the answer is yes. But that’s at least a five-step plan, and his arc in the game is mainly concerned with accomplishing step 2. Step 1 was “Get out of Tevinter.” Step 2 was “make Danarius dead.” The next few steps are a lot less cut and dry, involving a lot of difficult emotional work. He has begun that process, but it’s a work in progress.
With friends to support his journey, I do think Fenris can still come a long way. I just don’t think he could possibly have gotten there before Act III.
Conclusions
Fenris and Anders are on very different journeys over the course of Dragon Age II. They cannot be friends or sympathize with one another in the timeframe of the game, not because they have nothing in common, but because neither of them are in a position to let their guard down in the ways they would have to in order to connect with each other. Neither of them have reached the level of healing they would need in order to do that, and it’s not possible for either of them to reach that point in the journeys they’re on during the game, with the stories the game is telling.
That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s not possible for them to reach that point in the future. Under the right circumstances, both of them may have the rest of their lives to heal and to grow.
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🌟🌹💖DATING ADVICE FOR GIRLS OR FEMENINE ENERGY💖🌹🌟
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Hello! The other day I had a very interesting discussion about dating life with my friends, we were sharing a lot of interesting opinions but there was one friend who is currently in a relationship who told us something that made us silent and side eyeing each other (in a concerned way, not in a bitchy way).
That's why I decided to make a post with dating and relationship advice, I noticed that these type of things is better learn them before getting in a relationship because when there's already an emotional connection people usually tend to deny that is toxic behaviour.
We were talking about the most important things to look for in a man or someone with masculine energy and we agreed that patience and respect are non-negotiables, even when tense arguing.
We were agreeing saying things like: I could never be with someone who screams, insults or is not empathic. And this friend said: gosh I wish I had your peaceful nature, X and I always scream and spit venom (insult) to each other when arguing.
That's when we were surprised in a concerned way, we tried to talk to her very calmly telling her that type of behaviour is not healthy neither for his part or hers. Screaming and insults while arguing are a type of DISRESPECT. But she was like: nah it's alright it's completely normal we always do it, we could never be like you say. Then she refused to listen anymore and changed the subject. (we still are concerned 'cause she talks about it like it's totally normal and no big deal)
Without furder ado... Here are my dating and relationship advice:
Pay attention to the red flags! 👀 Don't expect someone to change and girl... don't even think about changing them. You deserve a whole and already grown up man.
Don't 👏 chase 👏 him 👏. If he really wants you he'll do the pursuing. If he doesn't, that means he doesn't really want you and just enjoys the attention you give him for his own benefit. Let him pursue you, let him call you, let him take the iniciative... If he doesn't, HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CHASE SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE IT'S PATHETIC. The only thing you can do is let him know in a subtle way that you like him and then step back and see if he acts on it.
Be clear about what do you want💍: do you want marriage? do you want kids? do you want to live in the city or country side? Your special person has to share those things in common with you, otherwise you'll have conflict about those things and it will lead to break up. BELIEVE ME. If you want marriage but he doesn't, DO NOT try to convince him or wait him to change, because you only have to options: he'll marry you out of pressure which eventually will make him to resent you or you'll wait forever for something that is not going to come. Remember those are the type of things you want to discover on the first dates and if you don't want the same things in life, then stop there: "Thank you for the good time, but we're looking for different things and it's better to go on separate ways in order to find someone who fits what we're looking for. It's been wonderful meeting you and I'm pretty sure you'll find someone who shares the same goals as you."
Set boundaries and apply them 👑. For example: I do not like to be texted or called while I'm with friends, at work or whatever I'm busy with (except for emergencies obv). I mean, he can text me asking to meet me later and I'll answer whenever I can but I hate when people try to start a conversation while I'm busy. He can expect the same from me, I'm not going to text or call him if he's busy. OF COURSE I let him know if I'm busy and I expect the same from him, I used tell him this: "I'm letting you know that I'm going to be busy with work/with friends for the next x hours, so if I don't answer it's because I'm busy not because I do not want to talk to you. But I'll call you once I'm finished!" It's a personal example of one of my boundaries. You set yours.
This may be controversial but make him wait. Don't have sex with him on the first dates. Get to know him and let trust grow first, make sure that he's someone worthy of having an intimate moment. Sex is a beautiful and intimate moment which you shouldn't give it to anyone. I didn't have sex until we were official and talked about our likes or dislikes (if he talks about sex on the first dates🚩). I talked about this topic with some male friends and they all said that if they really like the girl they don't care about the waiting. They even told me that when they really like the girl at first they don't even see her in a sexual way. So if you feel that you have to have sex to make him like you, girl he's not the one.
Choose someone who could handle kids even if you don't want to. It's a really good tip that made me realize that if someone treats me always with love, patience, respect and empathy, will treat the same way to an innocent life like a kid or an animal. If he loses his temper while arguing then I can't trust him nor with kids or animals.
Relationships require time and patience to build trust, getting to know him, etc. So be aware of love bombing😈, you can't love someone you don't know.
I personally would never forgive cheating and I advice the same for everyone. Never forgive cheating.❌❌❌❌
3 MONTHS RULE: if he doesn't make it official after 3 months, DROP HIM. 🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅 (and I think 3 months it's too much, I used set my limit at 2).
Never date a man who recently has been through a break up. He's most likely to ghost👻 you or use you as a rebound🤡. I usually advice that he has to be in no contact with her ex and at least half of the relationship single. For example: if he was in a relationship of 2 years, he must have been at least 1 year single.
DON'T BE A COOL PICK ME GIRL. If you present yourself as a cool girl who doesn't need gifts, flowers, blablablabla, he'll never do it. He'll be confused as hell when you expect him to. Don't be afraid to show your expectations even if it sounds corny.
These may be controversial too but these are the redflags from my experience: 🚩doesn't pay the first date🚩, 🚩doesn't have a good job🚩, 🚩not ambitious🚩,🚩if he doesn't pick you up or take you back to your doorstep🚩. Don't get me wrong, someone can be a full time student or being on a temporarily job while looking for a better one. But the fact that he is working on a job he hates and is not actively looking for the better job is a redflag for me. That's why I think it goes hand by hand with being ambitious. I have studied and worked my ass off to have the future I desired, I want someone who can keep up with me.
If he disrespects you once it's his fault, he does it twice it's your fault.
I can't think of anything more right now, but if I come up with something I'll add it. If you need any personal advice feel free to tell me, you can dm me or ask me in anonymous.
You can disagree with me but do it from a respectful place or I'll block you. 🤭
BE SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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euphor1a · 1 year
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The thing about btxt is, the mutual respect, admiration and love they hold for each other is very emotionally moving. Even if you don’t follow them as artists, you can never deny that. Both teams have went through a lot of struggles, and even if the struggles were a bit different, they still empathize. And they do that in a way it makes a normal person totally out of their world like me feel included.
BTS are very good and commendable seniors in general, and seeing yoongi acknowledge how txt weren’t exactly training under the best environment or had it easy just because of them (some very common prejudices against txt) makes me feel very emotional. But I also absolutely adore how respectful and admiring txt are because they constantly compliment and talk about bts all while admitting the pressure that is on them as a team who are direct juniors to them. That’s exactly how you know they have a close and comfortable relationship enough to talk about things not everyone will.
Tubatu have made it very clear on multiple occasions how much they admire, love and respect bangtan as not only seniors, but also as older brothers who have been looking out for them since the beginning. And then there’s bangtan, who see the reflection of their own past in tubatu, and taehyun saying their goal is to make the 7 of them proud is just so 🥺
You can agree or disagree all you want, but I’m so glad that they can count on each other outside of their own team members.
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funkymbtifiction · 2 years
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A rant from a very annoyed type 4
I recently watched this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHqjaF4pBZs it's a skit where the 9 types explain their worst jobs (5 mins long) and she said the worst job for a type 4 would be a 911 operator because 4s are so empathic and feel other people's emotions and it's horrible, all that sadness influences them... no that is a type 9. And I'm exhausted that there is never anyone who gets type 4 right. The people on reddit/forums don't get type 4 either, and 95% of people (not exaggerating) who claim to be 4s and agree with this in the comments or post on forums are never 4s. 
And I'm just very annoyed at people wanting to be 4s because they think it's quirky and unique and empathic or whatever and then go say "yeah but I'm really healthy so I don't relate to the lower health levels/I'm the sunny sp 4!". That's not what a 4 is. And it's affecting people's perception of what a type 4 is because there are more people online mistyped as type 4s than there are actual 4s making 4s look like something else entirely. "I don't relate to the mean descriptions of the type 4 but I'm a 4" Then you're not a 4. Period. Because of this there is this belief on reddit 'cause it gets posted like every 2 days that 4s are drawn to 8s like we find 8s so irresistible "I'm a 4 and I am sooo attracted to 8s they are so magnetic and dreamy". No. You're not a 4. 4s and 8s usually don't get along. Statistically, as a 4, you are going to be drawn to other 4s and 9s. But who is attracted to 8s? 9s, 6s, 2s. All the types most common to mistype as 4s. The 4 and the 8 will tear each other apart and we will not be going with what the 8 wants causing discord and fights for the upper hand in the relationship.
I need people to realize type 4 is selfish. And we don't feel guilty about being selfish. At all. We are not self sacrificial, other people's emotions don't overflow us and "make us sad :(", we are not the shy, empathic babies that get taken advantage of and who are masochistically submissive. We are the selfish melodramatic divas and pain parasites. We can be emotional manipulators, we will manipulate you by weaponing our emotions. Depending on the fixes/instincts, we can be aggressive and and domineering.
{...] We are not looking for our peace or our place in the world, we are looking to get high on emotions and on life. We will never be happy, and that is our life's curse. Because nothing will ever makes us happy because we keep moving the goalpost subconsciously and we can't help it or stop it.
TL;DR: 4s aren't your cute artsy shy and empathic beans. Nor are we just "depressed". We're the melodramatic divas and parasites. If you think you know a shy cutie 4 who is sad :( and feels a lot, you don't know a 4, you know a 9 going through a difficult time. 
Mod: I know it's frustrating to have Nota4's online misrepresenting your type, but most 4s are not as extreme as what you described, so I took out the more offensive sections (I assume you are sx/8 fixed?). But your point remains valid, that 4s are unapologetic in their selfishness, they can be self-destructive, they are not empathetic by nature, and they are perpetually frustrated. Actually, the most empathetic "I feel your feelings" combo is Fe + 9/2. Also, the next time I meet a "sunny" 4w5, I'm gonna ask, "Oh, like Severus Snape?" ;)
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baldurspeen69420 · 9 months
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Follow-up question about Byron, your dashing sailor! How does he feel about his new traveling companions? How do they fit into his grand new adventure?
You're awesome, thank you for facilitating my nerd-out session.
Byron is going to be traveling with Shadowheart, Lae'zel, and Astarion for his adventure (I like to keep one consistent group, Gale, Wyll, and Karlach are going to be my squad for playthrough 2 though!).
After growing up with infernal heritage and spending years with various crews and shipmates, I think Byron has a soft spot for outcasts and misfits.
He respects Lae'zel for guiding them through the Nautiloid and can see past her brusque demeanor (he worked with /sailors/ after all, not always polite company). He knows people have a lot more to them than what meets the eye, but also woman who swing sword good is always a valuable asset to a team. That being said, while there are some things he can overlook, he won't take all of her shit talk. I'm hoping they'll reach a mutual respect and friendship over the course of their journey!
After saving Shadowheart on the ship, the two already have a decent foundation of respect. You watch out for me, I'll watch out for you. He minds her privacy and values her input. The Shar reveal was a bit of a shock, but fuck it, they've come this far together and Byron has seen stranger things. Her faith is her own and they're working towards a common goal, welcome aboard. While he doesn't get the Shar allegiance thing, he's open to understanding Shadowheart and perhaps eventually show her she has other options, people who care for her besides a Goddess who wants to plunge the world into darkness. Basically, he'll be there for her when things fall apart as a shoulder to lean on. She's crew, and loyalty is everything.
Astarion's the wild card here, of all people. I think Byron can't quite get a beat on him like Shadow or Lae and that intrigues him. He's also a man who values freedom and independence, so when Astarion reveals his *tragic past* Byron empathizes strongly and that's what seals the deal. Astarion's part of his team and he owes it to him to see Cazador brought down. The two butt heads at times about personal philosophy. Byron isn't a fan of using the tadpole but understands why Astarion wants to, just as he understands why Astarion sees the acquisition of power as a virtue (though he vehemently disagrees). He also keeps his vampire spawn friend's most chaotic impulses in check, unless the situation calls for a less measured approach. I like to think they understand each other even if they don't always agree, and Byron genuinely thinks Astarion is very funny so that helps. The casual flirting doesn't hurt his ego either . . . And Astarion isn't exactly a bad looking man by any stretch. Why turn down a "night of fun", really? Where that night goes is yet to be seen.
Basically, I want to take this ragtag group of weirdos and show them the world and its people can be good and decent. I do worry about Byron's bend toward heroism alienating them in the beginning, but I think I can do party politics well enough to keep everyone on board. I love these three because I'm so excited to see their plotlines develop them for the better and I think they make such an entertaining group together.
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glitternightingale · 2 years
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Encanto Headcanons
@hotdiggitydammit sent me. I tried to put the asks in order and commented on some.
Have fun reading!
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Mirabel HCs
Mirabel got her looks from her mother, but almost everything else asides from her very motherly, empathic side is totally Agustin (not that he isn’t, but it’s clearly something Julieta and Mirabel have in common, maybe even something Mirabel learned from modeling after her Mama).
We only have to look at Mirabel when she was five years old. The bow, the curly dark hair, her calming hand gestures-- just like a young Julieta.
Pepa HCs
Pepa (general)
A lot of people tend to hc Pepa has having slept around when she was a teen and I wholeheartedly agree because almost as soon as we were given her second line of dialogue arguing with Alma I diagnosed her with being a daddy’s girl and then immediately followed that with ‘but she’s a daddy’s girl with no daddy :(‘. Idk I think she suffers more from the absence of a father figure than her siblings. Those are the vibes anyway.
Oh, yes, I agree. I see her the same way because Félix appears to be her other half, her crutch almost, differently than who Agustín is to Julieta. Pepa only wants to be understood, especially during her wacky teens when control over emotions is pretty difficult (not to mention topped with her weather powers). I think it was a desperate search for an anchor that has probably led to some disagreement and concern from her family.
In relation to the daddy issues I diagnose Pepa with, any modern AU of her would be a wasted opportunity if she didn’t have some kind of an e-girl vibe going on, no matter how bright the colors she wears.
Unpopular hc, but I don’t COMPLETELY think Pepa doesn’t know how to cook. I say Pepa is a fairly good baker because I can see her as a sugar junkie as a kid and without Julieta to make her fave desserts all the time due to work, Julieta teaches her to make them herself and she does pretty well. Cooking savory foods on the other hand is just a big fat NOPE
Pepa and romance
As a hopeless romantic, Pepa writes a lot of poetry. Whether it’s good or not is up for debate.
I imagine her prose is always very passionate and full of imagery!
Pepa thinks Mariano is too dumb and shallow for Dolores. He’ll have to work pretty hard to gain her approval. Felix is cool with him though because he trusts Dolores more to pick someone good for her.
Pepa has a knack for wanting to maintain control, over herself and her more introverted children. *looks at Alma*
Pepa and family
Do you have any hcs for Pepa and Luisa bonding?
They're both great at playing darts and like to be on the same team. They also meet up for silent reading sessions in the living room.
Julieta is best at ches(s), Pepa is best at checkers, Bruno is best at virtually any card game.
I can also picture Julieta being evenly matched with Bruno at chess. Their games can last hours, and Pepa tries to break their concentration when they bore her (throwing pillows, dancing loudly in the background, blowing over the pieces with a well-timed gust of wind).
Pepa probably had a mini identity crisis when she was old enough to be concerned about how different she looked from the rest of her family. It took a long time for those worries and self-image issues to go away, or at least be more manageable and less of a pain to wonder about. So when she has Dolores and when/if she goes through a similar issue with feeling inadequate about not looking like her mother, Pepa knows just what to say to reassure her daughter and make her feel better.
I can see Pepa and Julieta during their puberty or even mid-late teen years being envious of each other’s breasts. Pepa is pretty clearly as flat as her back and would be jealous of Julieta’s impressive breast size along with her more womanly curves. But Julieta, who has to stand in the kitchen and stand at her stall to distribute food all the time, would wish she had a smaller chest to relieve the back pain.
Pepa and Bruno probably had many self-confidence issues when they were young. But Pepa conquered them when she got older and became a mother, while Bruno still has them to this day.
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hmbdyyy · 6 months
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Week 10
Discuss the seven weekly topics as a whole
To summarize the whole seven weeks of CTS A, I would still say have been the most beneficial and crucial set of skills anyone with common sense should be equipped with, it basically describes having to manage and process things in a proper and logical manner which I believe is the wisest way, and it correlates with my values. The topics that were touched on teach us a sense of openness in our mindsets to look at things not only from our own perspective but others' as well. Emotional Intelligence is important, and I think a lot of people lack it as they just prioritize intelligence, which to me is just being blatantly ignorant. Through emotional intelligence, we learn to be self-aware and regulate our emotions, as well as have the ability to empathize and understand different perspectives. My experience throughout the lessons has always been interesting and eye-opening, I get to see through the minds of others in their works and mind maps, seeing their thoughts and creativity in their drawings, always boggles me as it never crossed my mind to have thought of drawing or creating something in those ways. I never get tired of seeing how different and creative everyone is every single week.
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Working in a group setting can be really fun and insightful, it brings in people with different minds, walks of life, personalities & perspectives all together. From there we can learn a lot from one another as we are constantly facing different answers from each person which is interesting to hear, from there we can also understand their thought processes. Personally, I take this as an opportunity to grow, be more creative, and not stick to our own sets of mindsets/thinking/beliefs all the time and take the time to explore new ways of thinking. I think it is a win-win situation as we can share with others our own set of skills/knowledge as well as listen & learn from others. Working with others is more efficient as the responsibilities are spread out equally, we can all agree and focus on working on what we are each good at, working with other people also allows us to receive and give support and motivation to others while working on tasks.
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What I wish I could do better would definitely be more versatile in my styles and explore more mediums, I definitely like trying and exploring different things but once I try them and the results don’t meet my own standards I easily get discouraged and stick to the way I do things. I also wished I was more creative in all aspects, be it the way I think or the way I process and work on my craft, less uptight and burned out so I could live life to my fullest potential.
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historyhermann · 10 months
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Skip and Loafer Spoiler-Filled Review
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Skip and Loafer is romantic comedy and slice-of-life anime, written and directed by Kotomi Deai. It is based on an ongoing manga series of the same name written and illustrated by Misaki Takamatsu. This animated series was produced by P.A. Works, known for series such as Canaan, Kuromukuro, Akiba Maid War, and Aquatope on the White Sand.
Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs and Wayback Machine. This was the fortieth article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on July 16, 2023.
This series has a simple storyline. A girl named Mitsumi Iwakura (voiced by Tomoyo Kurosawa) goes to Tsubame West High School, a school in Tokyo, with the goal of becoming a rural planner in her hometown. She leaves her friends, such as Fumino "Fumi" Toyama (voiced by Sumire Morohoshi), behind. While walking to school, Mitsumi believes everything is going her way, but gets lost. She is helped by another student, Sōsuke Shima (voiced by Akinori Egoshi). Somehow, they both get to the opening ceremony just in time, allowing her to give a speech to the incoming class. However, thanks to their fast running, she throws up onto her teacher, earning her the nickname of "barf girl". And that's only the first episode.
Admittedly, I had not originally planned to watch Skip and Loafer. Reading Alex Henderson's review of the first episode for Anime Feminist, convinced me otherwise. This view was reinforced by the spring premiere digest on the same site. It described the series as a "sweet coming-of-age story" with an anxious, driven, and endearing female protagonist. The review also said the series had a "positively depicted trans guardian" named Nao (voiced by Mitsuki Saiga). After watching all twelve episodes of the first season, I have to agree with their assessment. However, there is a lot more to the show than the assessment by these reviewers.
There are hilarious moments in each episode. This is especially the case when it comes to Mitsumi's antics, or when the reality of people is hidden. This humor is not based off any tropes or common stereotypes. Even so, it makes you empathize with the characters, endear them you, and make you interested in learning more about them as people.
Unlike other anime I've reviewed this year, Skip and Loafer gives its characters depth. In the fourth episode, Mitsumi is told by slacker teacher Hanazono that student council treasurer Tokiko Takamine (voiced by Minami Tsuda) is an organized person. She is impressed and connects with her almost instantly, seeing her as a senpai. Takamine even tells her how to use her time more efficiently.
However, Takamine has anxiety hidden below the surface. She is barely holding it together and even has nightmares about missing the bus or train. I liked that Takamine learns from Mitsumi to not panic if things don't go her way, to accept what is around her, and not be tense all the time. This is something which many people can resonate with.
Somehow, Mitsumi inadvertently causes Takamine's nightmares to disappear. She even influences her to admit that everyone should have their own path and way to use their time. Overall, Takamine is very relatable, as she is generally very organized. In some ways, she reminds me of my own personal organizational habits.
The interactions between Mitsumi and Sōsuke are at the center of Skip and Loafer. They learn more about each other and cheer up one another, if one of them feels down. While there are some romantic feelings between them, they are undoubtedly good friends who support each other, even if times get tough. That is part of the great storytelling in this anime.
I further liked the series because it isn't as dramatic like Kaguya-sama: Love Is War or Yuri is My Job!. Nor is it idolish like Alice Gear Aegis Expansion and Kizuna no Allele. Instead, it has a similar same pace, and feel, to Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear or iyashikei series like Adachi and Shimamura and Laid-Back Camp. It reminds me a bit of K-On! and My Roommate Is a Cat for the same reason. However, it isn't an iyashikei series. There is a focus on the plot, characters, and worldbuilding. But there isn't an immersive visual setting, meaning that it does not fit the definition of this anime sub-genre.
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Slice-of-life series are some of my favorite anime. I still remember fondly watching, apart from those already named, Azumanga Daioh, Squid Girl, YuruYuri, Kin-iro Mosaic, and Teasing Master Takagi-san. However, Skip and Loafer isn't exactly like those anime. Not is it like Let's Make a Mug Too, Akebi's Sailor Uniform, Sasaki and Miyano, Gabriel DropOut, or Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop. In some ways, this series gives me the same vibes as the first cour of The Aquatope on White Sand, a series also produced by P.A. Works. The second cour of that series had a different tone, as it showed the brutal reality of the workplace and how it can wear you down to nothing.
Skip and Loafer stands out because of the casual queerness shown in the series. This is especially exemplified by Mitsumi's aunt, Nao. I hadn't picked up that she was trans, because it is relatively subtle, until reading some articles about it. After that, I could recognize it being mentioned throughout the series. Nao appears to be accepted and no one bats an eye about it.
The fact that Nao is trans is as subtle, in some ways, as May Marigold stating openly that she is trans in a Volume 8 episode of RWBY, without specifically using the word "trans". There is some danger in subtlety, as everyone may not recognize it. Some series have done it better than others. I would say that Skip and Loafer does a good job of this, although it would be great to have additional LGBTQ characters.
There is more than casual queerness in Skip and Loafer. It is represented by characters that lean into "common archetypes." Nao experiences transmisogyny and Mitsumi supports her. She cares for Mitsumi deeply. She goes undercover as an "uncle", and is joined by Egashira (voiced by Yuka Terasaki). The latter thinks Sosuke is a "clout-chaser," during Mitsumi's date with Sosuke in the eighth episode. The reality is that Egashira has a crush on him and is jealous.
In that same episode, Mitsumi and her friends come over for a summer outing, a sleepover, allowing them to get even closer than they had before. She tells her friends that Nao is "biologically male" (i.e., trans), to not cause a panic. Thanks to Nao, she knows some make-up language, which gives her a leg up in their conversations. Later, when Egoshira tries to leave, Nao convinces her to stay, again showing her role in keeping Mitsumi's friends together.
The bond between Egashira and Nao is strong. In one Skip and Loafer episode, Egashira is sad that she can't talk to her at the school festival. This is after both, as noted earlier, bonded when they were spying on Sosuke and Mitsumi, during their date. Hopefully, a second season will expand on their friendship.
One of the most popular ships among fans is between Mitsumi's two schoolmates, Yuzuki Murashige (voiced by Maaya Uchida) and Makoto Kurume (voiced by Megumi Han), who are opposites from one another. Mitsumi brings them closer together, with fans praising their romantic "chemistry", including cute interactions.
The implied romantic feelings between Makoto and Yuzuki reaches a high point in the show's 11th episode. Yuzuki puts off a guy who is hitting on her and says that she dislikes it when people praise her art without looking at it deeply. Of course, Makoto does the opposite, praising the art, and makes Yuzuki blush in response.
While some may say their interactions are  "yuri-baiting", referring to series which show romantic relationships between girls/women without having that "relationship come to fruition," it is more fair to call it yuri subtext. For one, Makoto and Yuzuki have unresolved feelings for one another and aren't a couple. Their feelings have not been realized. Yuri subtext is all over the place in anime, from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha to Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica. It differs from more directly-shown love like that between Anis and Euphie in MagiRevo or one-sided love shown in Alice Gear Aegis Expansion.
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Mitsumi is a sympathetic character because she isn't good at athletics, similar to Mako's worries about athletic events. This serves as a way for Mitsumi to bond deeper with Sosuke, who accepts her for who she is. Sports, and their emphasis, are a major part of Japanese culture, like it is in the U.S. Those who don't conform to the "norm" to be ridiculed. In this series, the difference from the norm is portrayed as acceptable. It is fine to be less social, quiet, and not like sports.
One of the best parts of Skip and Loafer is how Mitsumi connects with her classmates, either Sosuke, Yuzuki, Makoto, or Mika Egashira. The latter is nervous, at first, at interactions with nasty male classmates. She even has a mental list of those who are mean to her and vows revenge on them for what they did to her.
As a result of their friendship, Egashira's attitudes change. Her crush on Sosuke strengthens, even as she feels left behind as Sosuke appears closer to Mitsumi than her. She is hiding inner conflicts and trauma, implying she has low self-worth.
Her desire to go through schooling, to help her hometown of Ikajima, is admirable. Throughout the series, she has a connection to Ikajima since her childhood friend, Fumi still lives in the town. She doesn't have many lines in the series and so few, that no one even bothered to add her to the show's Wikipedia page. She is someone that Mitsumi can vent and talk to. This all comes to a head in the ninth episode when she visits Ikajima and has a fun time with her middle school friends.
The romantic comedy themes of Skip and Loafer shine through in the show's sixth episode. Mitsumi begins believing rumors about Sosuke, thinking he is a "bad boy" who skipped school and faked being sick. After he tells her to not believe the rumors, she realizes that she is in love with him, and tells Fumi she feels the same way about Sosuke as Fumi did about her friend as well.
This plot is interlaced with Mitsumi's work in the school's student council. She becomes the student council secretary alongside Takamine. She encourages the latter to work with the new president-elect, Hiroto Kazakami (voiced by Junya Enoki), telling her that all we can do is hope it pays off some day. This is diametrically opposed to what is shown in Ippon Again!, that hard work can lead to success. This idea has been questioned in recent years.
Not everything is puppies and roses in this series. This is made clear when Ririka Saijou (voiced by Minako Kotobuki) comes out of nowhere at the end of the seventh episode. She is said to be a "childhood friend" of Sosuke. Ririka is more than that. She is a model who sneers at Mitsumi, calling her a "circus act". She even declares that he can't have a high school life because of an incident four years before in which he, apparently, showed bad judgment. In essence, she blackmails him.
This doesn't stop the growing romance between Mitsumi and Sosuke, however. In fact, in the ninth episode, she expresses her enthusiasm, and gives him three squid crackers from her hometown, because she feels bad for him. Although he feels he doesn't "deserve anything", their interaction brings a smile to his face. As such, Skip and Loafer is saying that rather than beating ourselves up over our mistakes, we should take chances instead.
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The last three episodes are some of the strongest in the entire series. While the preparation for a school festival is not a new plot in anime, the play is pertinent in today's world that reactionaries are stronger than ever. It is about a person who falls in love with fascists and joins them because of romance, even turning on his own family!
Some Jewish fans have even stated that anime has a "Nazi problem" and is anti-Semitic due to Attack on Titan, Angel Cop, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hellsing, and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, and Hetalia: Axis Powers characters. These views remain controversial, with the argument that Western viewers are misinterpreting plotlines through a distorted lens.
Back to Skip and Loafer, Sosuke's role as a friend shines through. He cheers up Mitsumi, thinking back to his bad childhood, and tries to make sure Mitsumi doesn't hurt herself. They end up talking and having a fun time together. Understandably, Mitsumi feels bad that she allowed Sosuke to be picked for the play. After all, he didn't want an acting role. Again, this shows the power of peer pressure and "need" to be socially accepted. In fact, Sosuke worries that people only see him one way and he can't do anything to "ruin" that perception.
Sosuke ends up shining through, in the 11th episode. He does an amazing performance, impressing his half-brother Keiri and his mother. He ends up enjoying himself. The series says that he should be grateful to his brother, who has been considerate of him, rather than dismissive. However, Ririka's arrival threatens to destroy it all!
The Skip and Loafer series finale brings this to a head. In an act of intimidation, Ririka falsely accuses Sosuke's mother of making Sosuke act for her again. This causes Sosuke's mother, and Keiri, to leave. Even so, Mitsumi bravely defends Sosuke from Ririke, standing between them both, like an anteater. As a result, Sosuke realizes he can act for himself, rather than doing it for others. He is comforted when he forgets his lines at the end of the school play.
In one of the most powerful scenes in the entire series, Sosuke stands up for himself. He says that he can't make up for what he did to Ririka. Even so, he refuses to follow the same self-destructive path as her, noting that he is enjoying school life. As an olive branch, he offers to do anything to help her move on. Predictably, Ririka is infuriated.
She lashes out, declaring that Sosuke is selfish and narcissistic, and says the same about his mother. She doesn't want him to get his life back and wants to continue manipulating him. As a result, she pushes him away, arguing that Sosuke and his mother can do what they want, but to not show his face to her again. After he thanks her, this shocks her to the core.
Although the series finale might be beginning the "redemption" of Ririka, she is not a sympathetic character. Her pity crying and admission that the scandal, and losing her job, was partially her fault (rather than Sosuke), makes her toxicity that much worse. She is an awful character who treats others poorly. Even her friend, Chris Fukunaga (voiced by Yuusuke Nagano), tells her to not guilt-trip Sosuke. He adds that it is her sole fault her grades sucked. Whether she reforms herself, takes responsibility for her actions, understands her harm, and doesn't cause any further harm, or not, hopefully she is out of Sosuke's life for good.
The Skip and Loafer series finale wraps up loose ends. President Hiroto gets more depth. He tells Takamine that he was expected to be the best from an early age. His family had high standards for success. This causes Takamine to develop a crush. As the school festival ends, there is a touching scene in which Sosuke and Mitsumi realize how much they mean to one another. Mitsumi is undoubtedly more in love with him than ever. She closes out the episode, encapsulating her story of wanting to become a government official in her hometown, and how she got there.
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The show's colorful and vibrant animation really sticks with you. Some series are flat and don't have expressive animation. Skip and Loafer is the exact opposite of that and has a distinct art style. As such, the series is that much more appealing.
The same can be said for the series' voice actors. The voices of Mitsumi, Sumi, Sosuke, and Nao, who are Tomoyo Kurosawa, Sumire Morohoshi, Akinori Egoshi, and Mitsuki Saiga respectfully, are talented. Kurosawa is known for her roles in Cutie Honey Universe, Astra Lost in Space, BanG Dream!, and Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina. 
Murohoshi lent her voice to characters in series such as Princess Jellyfish, Little Witch Academia, and Violet Evergarden. Egoshi has voiced characters in Shirobako, Kino's Journey: The Beautiful World, Fruits Basket, and many others. Saiga is known for roles in Cowboy Bebop, R.O.D the TV, Maria Watches Over Us, Ouran High School Host Club, and Yurikuma Arashi.
Minami Tsuda, Yuka Terasaki, Maaya Uchida, and Megumi Han, who voice Takamine, Egashira, Yuzuki, and Makoto, have done many recognizable roles. Tsuda voiced Mei Aihara in the ever-controversial Citrus, Terasaki voiced Babel in Gargantia and Akari Hyūga in Bloom Into You, and Uchida lent her voice to Sharo Kirima in Is the Order a Rabbit?, Catarina Claes in My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!, and countless others.
Han has voiced characters in series such as Komi Can't Communicate, RWBY: Ice Queendom, The Dangers in My Heart, and Oshi no Ko. Junya Enoki and Minako Kotobuki, the voices of Hiroto and Ririka, are known for roles in anime such as Heroines Run the Show, Wandering Son, and Your Lie in April.
The last frame of the final Skip and Loafer episode says, "see you tomorrow", implying a possible continuation. If a second season for the series was ordered, which is unlikely, romance between Sosuke and Mitsumi will blossom. The same may be the case for the bond between Makoto and Yuzuki, possible growing feelings that Takamine has for Hiroto, and other relationships between characters. In the process, Mitsumi's trans aunt, Nao, will likely have a significant role.
Skip and Loafer can be streamed on Crunchyroll and is available for purchase on Prime Video.
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© 2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.
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recentanimenews · 2 years
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FEATURE: A Mom's Guide To Anime — You Get It From Your Mama
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  May is one of my favorite times of the year! It’s this beautiful time of transition as the weather is more pleasant and the flowers begin to bloom … Who am I kidding? Mother’s Day is in May! This is when my family adorns me with compliments on being a good mother and pseudo-celebrity. Should they do this every day? Absolutely. Motherhood has allowed me to find myself and reconnect with my inner child. I can’t imagine my life as anything but Ian’s mom. Parenthood also gives us a unique insight into our mothers. As kids, they seem to be this mysterious figure whose thinking you don’t understand. Once you have a child of your own, it just clicks and you suddenly realize you have much more in common with your mom. In this month’s guide, we will celebrate the strong women in our lives who helped sculpt us into the parents we are today. Whether you want to admit it or not, some things you get from your mama or the women in your life. If you’re a mom, a mom-to-be, a fun auntie, or a mentor, your kids will get it from you too. 
Brains, Brawns, And Beauty From The Moms Of Dragon Ball
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    Chichi, Bulma, Eighteen, and Vidal are not only amazing mothers but sensational women in their own right. Each woman offers a unique skill to the Z fighters and is the literal definition of “ride or die.” Especially you, Chichi. 
  These supermoms take care of their homes, raise and train children, and are CEOs of companies, royalty, and championship fighters. The female cast of Dragon Ball showcases the versatility of moms and how they are an integral part of not just the franchised but IRL. You may not get everything from the strong women in your life, but you do get a lot from them.
  RELATED: Celebrate Mother's Day With 9 Of The Greatest Moms In Anime!
  Freedom To Grow From The Moms Of BORUTO: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS
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      The BORUTO: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS series is known to stir a debate or two. However, most agree that the grown-up Naruto characters have strong character development. Significantly, the characters that are now the moms of the next generation. Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Tamari, and others all know what it is like to be a young ninja who must balance school, work-life, growing up, and the overall threats to their way of life. They were legit child soldiers. 
The moms of the new generation can empathize with their children’s experiences. This is seen throughout the series when they often wish for the children to focus more on school and friendship than on missions. They are still ninjas, and so the mothers allow their children the freedom to not only grow as people but as ninjas too. As parents, we often think it would be easier if we shielded them from hardship in every aspect of their lives. That is not only detrimental to the children but to us too. Allow your children to discover who they are and remind them you’re always there for them.   
A Sense Of Adventure Like Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?   
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    When you become a parent, there is this immediate assumption that you become boring. That you’re supposed to double down on adulting in order to be a proper role model. NEWSFLASH: Just because we are mothers doesn’t make us boring! Mamako is a great example of a mom who still enjoys adventures, especially with her son. Even if he likes to pretend it’s annoying. 
Throughout the series, Mamako’s son starts to realize that a lot of his strengths — curiosity, compassion, and zest for life — come from his mother. There are times in parenting when other responsibilities take precedence, but kids should never forget that we weren’t always parents. So when you have a moment, share the stories of your adventures as a kid. I bet you’ll gain major cool points with your children.  RELATED: SPY x FAMILY's Yor Ranks in Top 5 of BookLive's Most Desirable Mother/Wife Character Poll  
Love, Loyalty, And Kindness Like Kaasan Mom’s Life
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    What are you doing if you’re a parent and you aren’t watching Kaasan Mom’s Life? The series is “semi-autobiographical” based on the creator Rieko Saibara’s life. The main character is named Rieko, after all.  Reiko is a wife and mother who works as a cartoonist. Rieko does her best to balance deadlines, cheeky children, a laidback husband, and a mother-in-law with too much time on her hands throughout this hilarious series. As you can imagine, Rieko is often stressed out. Same, honestly. Despite having many bad days, Rieko has no shortage of love and kindness for her family. 
Honesty Like From RADIANT
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      Radiant does not get the flowers it deserves. Since flowers are the most common gift received on Mother’s Day, I’m giving Radiant its flowers today! Radiant has a fantastic cast of strong female characters. Each provides Seth with the support and skill he’ll need to become a great sorcerer. However, his guardian Alma is always there to dish out a hot plate of tough love. No matter what the circumstances are, Alma ALWAYS tells Seth the truth. She knows that a lie is far worse than the villainous Nemesis monsters, even if it's a hard truth that could potentially hurt his feelings. Can you be named Nemesis and not be the villain? 
  There is the old saying, “honesty is the best policy,” and there are times when it feels like the worst policy. And I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that parents often tell “white lies.” REGARDLESS, the lesson we are trying to teach is that when you are honest, it's a show of good faith, morals, and care. As your children grow, you’ll want to create a clear line for open and honest communication.  
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  Many of us get our nurturing side from our moms, grandmas, aunts, and other kind women in our lives. Like Rieko, we develop a deep sense of loyalty and do whatever we can for the people we care about, even when those very people get on your last remaining nerve. I type as I stare directly at my younger brother, who is sitting not too far from me. Love, loyalty, and kindness are part of a strong foundation for relationships. You’ll want to provide the same foundation for your children to continue a pattern of positivity.  
I wish you a Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, sisters, aunts, grandmas, guardians, and mentors who provide unconditional love and unlimited support. To my mom, who often doesn’t read these, thank you for always being there through health challenges, a teen pregnancy, and that time I tried to cut my hair. Because of you, I can be the anime-mom I am today. I love you. 
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      Hey, I'm Yali! When I'm not being your friendly neighborhood single mom, I'm also a producer! Kids ain't cheap and mama has to get the bag. I'm a producer for the DB4L Podcast. It's a podcast that breaks down the Dragon Ball Manga but in a real way. It's like barbershop talk but without having to tell the barber you don't like the haircut. Give it a listen.  Dragon Ball 4 Life - Fandom Spotlite | Podcast on Spotify
By: Yali Perez
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lovebecomeshim · 3 years
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hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?
Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.
*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!
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This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.
I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)
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The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.
And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.
(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)
The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.
First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.
The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.
(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)
They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.
(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)
Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)
Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.
Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.
Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—
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And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.
Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.
There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:
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There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.
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Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).
Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.
Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.
The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.
And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.
tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.
So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.
youtube
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polyamoryfacts · 3 years
Text
Polyamory writing tropes
Because I forgot that tumblr dot hell’s solution to spam bots is straight up hiding replies with too many links, here is a manual repost of my certainly incomplete list of polyamory tropes.
(I had originally posted it as a reply to an ask that was posted to @writingquestionsanswered - you should check them out!)
I will assume that A is into B, B is into A and C, and C is into B. B and A are not into each other. Furthermore, I will assume that everyone has agreed to being part of the arrangement as described. If B is dating A behind C’s back, that’s not polyamory, that’s cheating.
This constellation is commonly called a V or vee, because if you draw it, it kinda looks like a V. The partner “in the middle” B is called the hinge.
A and C are metamours to each other (meta + amour). They share a partner.
The most common trope with polyamory is the topic of jealousy. In fact, you will be hard pressed to find a story which does not focus on it, to the point that I would say it has been done to death, plus you can find plenty of guides how to write it, so I am not going to focus on that.
Instead, there are other interesting tropes specific to polyamory you can use:
Compersion is a word for a warm feeling of fuzziness you get when your metamour makes your partner happy. Imagine that, like, I am A, and B is really into underwater basket weaving. I, on the other hand, do not care for underwater basket weaving at all, and while I can empathize with B’s enthusiasm for it, ultimately I am not a good person to discuss underwater basket weaving with. But then, one day, B meets C! And C is also into underwater basket weaving! Now B can discuss water currents and sprig flexibility with C and is elated! And B being happy with C makes me happy! (In fact, it may be that I was getting a bit tired of the topic, so it benefits me as well. Cue crisis about whether I am a good person or if “dropping” B on C is selfish! So much delightful angst potential!)
One side effect might be that when B is out on a date with C, I finally have time for myself and my favorite hobby of chocolate teapot sculpting, which B somehow never seems interested in :/
Of course, depending on the person, this feeling might extend to more intimate topics and activities. It does not have to be limited to things A does not enjoy – A might just be happy that B has an additional person to do these things with.
However, it can also lead to establishing new couple activities. The common cliché is of the polyamorous person who is fine with their partner having sex with someone else – but don’t you dare watching “our” Netflix series with someone else.
The flip side of this is B being happy when A and C get along. As far as I know, we don’t have a specific word for that (we really should, though).
When metamours get along, they might delight in scheming to do something nice for their hinge together. For example, they might plan a surprise birthday party for B together (cue all shenanigans associated with surprise party and birthday party). They might also become great friends and share vulnerabilities with each other that they don’t even share with their mutual partner.
A might have actively pushed B to get with C. In this case, feel free to pull all the ShipperOnDeck tropes.
A and C might have felt apprehension towards meeting each other. B might have felt apprehension towards them meeting each other. What if they don’t get along!? You can borrow from the “meeting the parents” tropes here.
A and C might also get together over time. This might cause unexpected jealousy in B because of the change in relationship dynamics. It can be all the anxiety you get when your partner has a new partner… but multiplied by the fact you get it from both sides.
Incidentally, polyamorous people get to observe this “my loved one is freshly in love” theme often enough we have our own name for that “I have butterflies in the stomach and the world is made of gingerbread rainbows” feeling B gets – NRE or New Relationship Energy.
Ideally, A, B and C have all discussed what their relationship dynamics are to be. For example, whether it is okay to take on other partners or if there is the expectancy that A and C will remain exclusive to B. Also, if B is allowed to start further relationships with D, E and so on. (If it is to stay at the A/B/C constellation, it is called a closed relationship or possibly a closed triad.) And they hopefully have discussed how much everyone wants to know about the details of the other relationship and how much they get to know. They also have hopefully discussed how out they are to their social circles. (If people have conflicting needs on that, there may be some tension.)
In practice, I believe the most common setup is not a closed relationship (I have only personal anecdotes, though). It is more commonly like this (listed are everyone’s partners):
A: B
B: C, D
C: B, E
D: B, F
E: C
F: D
The set of all people in this network is called a polycule (a portmanteau of poly and molecule). In the above scenario, F might not even know about E. F is with D, D is with B, B is with C, C is with E. If this was a familial relationship, they would be something akin to distant cousins, with comparable dynamics – they might find it an amusing bit of trivia, but ultimately it doesn’t affect their lives much. They might, however, be in the same circle of friends, or even roommates. Which leads to amusing shenanigans like
B: C, I know you are visiting E [your partner] and F tonight?
C: Yeah?
B: D asked me to pass along this thing F forgot at D’s place [because D and F are partners]. Could you give it to F [because you are visiting F’s roommate]?
C: I think F is not at home tonight, but I will give the thing to E!
This can be somewhat confusing to the reader, because it gets you a large cast. If you ever find out how to solve this, let me know.
Also, Long Distance Relationships. So many Long Distance Relationships.
Of course, there are some people who will go to great lengths to chart their polycule, with the same diligence someone might employ while researching their ancestry.
Because marrying multiple people is not possible in most places, people may employ a similar ritual for a particular partner. Their are hand-fastening ceremonies, for example. Or other rituals - I know a person who texts all of their partners goodnight before going to bed.
There are some clichés about the polyamorous community. Polyamory is said to enable you to always have a group ready for board game night, for example. Or Dungeons and Dragons night – I reference this in my most shared post which apparently people can relate to.
Also, we are really good at scheduling. Shared calendars are frequently employed.
And we really talk a lot about our feelings. Which is… somewhat inconvenient for writing drama.
And we love large beds. Some of us don’t. (I feel too hot with even one other person in the bed. How some people deal with three is an utter mystery to me).
If you have made it this far, congrats! Thanks for researching our community! Seconding the recommendation for @polyamorouscultureis for more.
If you wish to check out my blog, you will find a list of helpful resources, and will get a mix of
me assuring people they are valid like this
polyamory memes like this
polyamory shitposts disguised as facts (which are not to be taken seriously for the purposes of research) like this
and general polyamorous tomfoolery.
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mochegato · 3 years
Text
Hope on Board
Chapter 13 - Round and Round We Go
Chapter 1     Chapter 12
“And this was his idea?” Adrien confirmed again.
Marinette rolled her eyes and pulled him along.  “We worked on the details together, but yes, it was his idea to spend more time together.  He knows you don’t trust him and he wants to try to earn your trust.”
“It isn’t that I don’t trust him…” Adrien pouted.
“Yes it is.” Marinette gave him a pointed look.
“I’m sure he’s great.” Adrien said politely.  “He seems to make you very happy.”
Marinette stopped and brought Adrien’s eyes to hers.  “Yes, he does.  And he knows you’re both going to be very prominent in our,” she placed her hand over the baby bump, “lives so he wants to make friends.  He wants everyone in our baby’s life to like each other.”  She sighed.  “He wants the baby to be completely surrounded by love if he can. That means you two have to get along and Damian and I have to get along.”
Adrien nodded and continued walking.  “And do you think that’s possible?”
Marinette shrugged.  “I think he’s going to be at least a little suspicious of me until the blood test and there’s nothing I can do about that.  But I can push for our interactions to at least be amicable until then.  I like him. You always know exactly where you are with him.  He’s like some mad combination of Max and Alix.  As analytical as Max and fiercely protective as Alix.  Unaware of social convention like Max and painfully blunt like Alix.
“And I don’t think he hates me, he’s just vastly overprotective of his family, you know?  I just need to keep that in mind.  Approach it like if Alix didn’t know me and thought I did something to Kim.  And, he doesn’t think I’m worthy of his brother, which I understand and kind of agree with.”  She shoved Adrien before he could say anything.  “I don’t want to hear it.  I’m not maligning myself, I’m complimenting him.”
He rolled his eyes, “Fine.”
“And I think you two might have a lot in common, you and Damian.  From what I’ve gathered from scattered comments here and there, Damian grew up in a really harsh environment.  Lots of criticism, not a lot of love.  Lots of expectations with little praise for him. Perfection expected, anything less punished.”
“Sounds rough,” Adrien nodded.  He could empathize.  That sounded familiar.
“Yeah. That was before Bruce took him. But things like that, they leave a mark, you know.”
“Yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I really do.”
“Dick!” Marinette called out and waved to him.  
Adrien smiled and waved politely.  He was being ridiculous and he knew it.  He had been ecstatic when they first discovered who the father was.  He had only heard good things about Dick, which calmed him significantly.  But as time passed, he had the chance to start thinking, or rather overthinking and worrying, panicking in other words.  He didn’t know him, not really, just the public perception, but Chloe and Alya both said he seemed a bit too perfect.  He seemed to be hiding something, but nobody could figure out what it was.  And from Adrien’s experience, every time something seemed too perfect, it was. Every.  Time.
Dick smiled back and waved before returning his focus to Damian.  He laid a heavy hand on Damian’s shoulder and leaned close to him.  “You will be respectful.  Understood? She is the mother of your niece or nephew…”
Damian scoffed, “Tt.”
“Like that.  That is not okay.  She’s already agreed to a blood test, purely for you.  I like her, Damian.  You don’t need to, but you do need to be civil.”
Damian pushed Dick’s hand off his shoulder.  “I can be civil with the grimalkin.”
Dick yanked Damian back toward him.  “You will not speak that way about Marinette, understand?  Even if she wasn’t the mother of my child, she wouldn’t deserve it.  But she is the mother of my child, whether you believe it or not.  I do.  That is my child.  That is my girlfriend.  They are both going to be your family and you will not disrespect them like that if you want to be in our lives.”
Damian’s eyes flashed with a hurt expression before returning to a practiced coldness.  “Understood,” he answered curtly.
Dick turned just in time to welcome Marinette with a hug and a kiss before extending a hand for Adrien.  “Are you guys ready?  Have you been to the arcade already?”
“No, but has Marinette wowed you guys with her gaming skills yet?” Adrien asked with a sly grin.
“No,” Dick’s smile grew as he turned to Marinette.  “She mentioned being good at one game, I’ve forgotten the name of, but I didn’t know it was an overall skill.  Been holding out on me?”
Marinette giggled and rolled her eyes.  “Well there goes my chance to hustle you.  You’ll think you’re ready for it now.”
“Think?” Dick raised an eyebrow at her.
“Oh, you’ll never be prepared,” she grinned cheekily and bopped him on the nose before walking away laughing.
“And I suppose you find that charming instead of condescending?” Damian asked stiffly.
“I think I’m in love,” Dick swooned chasing after her.
Damian scoffed.  “If I’d said that, he’d have lectured me for an hour,” he muttered under his breath.
“It’s all in the delivery and the attitude,” Adrien commented falling into step beside him. Damian did a double take, not having expected Adrien to still be there or to have heard him.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Damian growled.
“I’m not offering,” Adrien answered casually.
“How about starting with a shooting game?” Dick offered.  Damian perked up but deflated quickly seeing him standing next to a basketball themed game.
“I haven’t played basketball in years, that would be fun,” Adrien offered.
“You played basketball too?  So did I,” Dick grinned at him.  “Let’s see what you remember.”  
The game was close but Dick just edged him out with a few more baskets.  Adrien shrugged good-naturedly.  “Eh, fencing was always more my speed anyway.  I bet Marinette would kill at this though.”
Dick turned to Marinette with an excited smile and got the game set up for her. “You played basketball?”
“No, not even for fun,” she chuckled with a slight blush.
“Oh… did you want to still try?” The excitement in his voice was impossible to resist.  He was so desperate for all of them to get along and have fun and she was going to do everything she could to help him achieve that.
“Absolutely.”  The game wasn’t even close.  Marinette destroyed him.  “In your face!” She grinned up at him and cupped his face.  “And such a pretty face it is.”  
Dick pretended to pout at her before waggling his eyebrows.  “You think my face is pretty?”
“So, you lied” Damian commented with narrowed eyes.
Marinette patted Dick’s cheek.  “Not just pretty, gorgeous.” And turned to Damian, shaking her head.  “No.  I just have really good hand-eye coordination.  Lots of practice with that.  But I never played any sports outside of gym.”
“You should see her fence,” Adrien spoke up.  “I gave her a few lessons and so did another of our friends and she was already really good.  But, if she actually tried, she’d be amazing.”
Marinette scoffed.  “Decent maybe.  But not at Adrien or Kagami’s level.  They are both really good.  Adrien could have made the national team if he had wanted,” Marinette bragged. “Kagami did.”
“Damian does sword fighting!” Dick offered.  “Maybe he could practice with you guys sometime.”
“Sword fighting is very different from fencing,” Damian deferred.
Adrien nodded.  “It really is.  Completely different skills.  He would probably destroy me at sword fighting.”
“I could probably destroy you at fencing as well,” Damian responded calmly.
“Okay. Well then, bring it on little man,” Adrien chuckled.  “I’d love to get the epee out again.”
Damian narrowed his eyes at him in response and Marinette laughed at the reaction causing him to switch his focus to her.  “Your turn Damian.  What do you want to play?”
Damian huffed and looked around.  He really didn’t want to share his favorite games with them.  But he did want to put them in their place, which meant destroying them in games, and his best chance of doing that was in the games he was best at. It was a Catch 22.  Finally Dick made the decision for him.  “Let’s play Cheese Viking.  Damian is a wiz at that.  I think he has all the high scores.”
“Oh, you must be amazing at that!” Marinette cooed.
After a few hours of playing different games, Damian trying to destroy them at each one, sometimes succeeding, sometimes not, they decided to get something to eat and take a walk around.
“Ooh, a carousel!  Let’s go for a ride,” Marinette exclaimed excitedly.
Dick grinned and started heading to get in line.  “That sounds like a lot of fun.  You coming Damian?”
Damian scoffed at him and crossed his arms over his chest.  “I’m not a child.  I’m not immature enough to engage in such trivialities.”  He gave Marinette a condescending look.
Dick gave Damian a dark look, but Marinette shrugged with a smile.  “I am.”  She turned to Dick with an unaffected smile.  “You want to come or stay with Damian?”
“I’ll stay with him,” Adrien spoke up from behind Damian.  “You guys go ahead.”
They watched as Marinette pulled Dick onto the carousel and found a pink unicorn to ride.  Dick helped her get on it and stepped close so his arms were around her and the pole. The ride started with a jerk and Marinette let out a loud, light laugh that Dick quickly matched.  They watched them go around a few times, seeing them staring into each other’s eyes with adoring smiles along with loving caresses.
Adrien finally spoke up gently.  “I know you want to protect your family, but she doesn’t deserve the hostility.  And I know you won’t listen to me, but as one overprotective brother to another, she isn’t your enemy.”
“She is just another undeserving, unworthy, desperate, pathetic person.  Nothing I’ve seen so far has changed my mind.” Damian spoke plainly, not bothering to look back at Adrien.
Adrien’s whole body stiffened.  When he finally spoke there was a base hostility and coldness in his voice he hadn’t used since he last spoke with his father.  “You can’t even comprehend her life so far.”  
Damian scoffed at him.  Like this person could understand what Damian had been through.
“I don’t care if you’re Batman himself.  I don’t care if you lost everything.  I know you’ve gone through a lot.  I don’t know what and neither does Marinette, just that you’ve had to go through unfair shit, too,” he hurried to correct seeing Damian’s reaction.  “But you still can’t comprehend everything she’s done and risked for even strangers let alone the people she loves.  How many times she stood between an akuma and someone who was too weak to protect themselves.  How many times she got hurt.  How many times she died.  Hell, she doesn’t even remember.  All to protect complete strangers who had nobody else.  She’s a goddamned hero and quite frankly too good for your family,” he growled.  
“Is there anyone this angel of yours isn’t too good for?” Damian taunted.
“No,” Adrien responded without hesitation.
“Why aren’t you dating her then?”
“Realizing someone is amazing and too good for this world doesn’t mean you would work in a romantic relationship.  She’s more important to me than just a romance.  She is my family.  So is that baby.  And now so is your brother.  Just like she’s now yours.  You need to come to terms with that.”  He switched his focus to Marinette and Dick lost in their own world on the Carousel, eyes for each other only.  The smile on her lips was the most joyful and carefree one he’d seen in years.  He prayed it stayed that way.
“You don’t know what Dick’s had to go through, how much he’s suffered, how much he takes on.  He’s too good for her.” Damian answered quietly.
Adrien nodded.  “You’re right I don’t know.  That’s why I’m giving him a chance.”
“I won’t let her hurt him,” Damian stated lowly.
Adrien nodded.  “Nor him, her.  Glad we could come to an understanding.”  Damian glared at him but looked over to Dick as he and Marinette walked back over.
“Damn it!” Dick groaned as his phone sounded a distinctive ring.
“Maybe it isn’t bad?” Marinette tried.
“It’s always bad.  When has it ever meant anything other than I had to leave?” He frowned as he answered the phone and walked a bit away from the group.
“Something up?” Adrien asked.
Marinette nodded with a sigh.  “Night’s over.  That’s work. He’ll have to go in for at least a few hours.  Want us to take you home, Damian?”
Damian looked away with a frown.  It wasn’t a scowl or a pointed comment, so Marinette was taking it as a win.  “I’ll have Alfred come pick me up.”
Marinette nodded with an understanding smile that rubbed Damian the wrong way. Why did she have to be so understanding? “Okay.  We’ll wait with you until he arrives.”
“That is not necessary, I assure you.” Damian responded coldly.  “I can take care of myself.”
“Maybe but it isn’t only about you.  I’m sure you can take care of yourself, but it’s a family’s job to worry about each other. It’s more for them than for you.” Marinette explained.  “So they aren’t worried.”
Damian nodded curtly, accepting her explanation.
“Does this happen a lot?” Adrien asked.
“Dick having to go into work?” She asked with a surprised look.  Adrien nodded.  Marinette looked over to where he was talking to consider her answer. “I guess… yeah.  It’s happening more frequently lately, I think.  But then again, we’re together more now so maybe I’m just now noticing.  But he tries to get back as soon as he can.  Nothing you can do about emergencies.  At least he doesn’t zone out at work and forget we have a date until he comes and gets me, like I have.” She shrugged.
Adrien frowned at her explanation.  It was starting to sound all too familiar.  A parent working all the time, leaving in the middle of family time, or not even showing up for it because they were too busy with something more important.  He prayed he was wrong.  Dick did seem to really be invested in Marinette and their baby… but then again so had his Dad.
Chapter 14
Tags:
@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123
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bestworstcase · 3 years
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On the subject of the last ask, do you think Cap was a good dad to Cass? I've seen argument her actions in s3 were not justified because she had a good parental figure so she was just being a child about the whole ordeal of not receiving a mother's affection but even though I agree her motivations were tainted I'm not sure I agree Cap was such a good dad she wouldn't want to be seeking for parent approval
w well
i think in general there’s probably no hope for the sort of people who reduce cassandra’s motivations down to “mommy issues” because my feeling there is you can’t really reason with people who are determined not to empathize with female characters no matter what - and i really do think you have to be, at the least, pretty emotionally removed from cassandra’s perspective to not see how unhealthy her relationship with her dad really was, because it. whoo. s1 did not pull punches in this regard. *waves vaguely at the linked post*
there is also i think an element of, idk, we see this phenomenon in the fandom with quirin and frederic where they are both Not Great dads who toe right up to the line of emotional abuse and imo in fred’s case step over it in SOTS, and the tts fandom has a tendency to take that and go ok these men are horribly abusive in every imaginable way! because nuance is dead.
and the captain by and large does not get that treatment except in like, very occasional cassunzel fics where he is used as the homophobic hammer with which to forge some extra angst - and i think, in a way, this combines with the common fanon Unrelentingly Terrible Dad characterizations of quirin and fred to kind of… inure the general fandom to the unhealthy way cap treats cassandra; his fanon characterization looks so much better by comparison to the Abusive Monsters quirin and especially frederic get twisted into that i think a lot of folks straight up forget that in canon all three of them kind of equally suck in s1 and all three of them have (admittedly very half-assed lol) arcs about getting better in s3. and this then gets translated to cassandra with but she had a good dad so why does she care about gothel which also, frankly, is a gross misunderstanding of the myriad ways early childhood neglect and abuse and parental abandonment and adoption can all be traumatic in and of themselves, and in combination with each other will absolutely fuck someone up for life even in the idealest circumstance.
i have also seen the variant of “well cass grew up in a palace she has all this privilege so how dare she say she has nothing and rapunzel got everything” which ignores how absolutely conditional every privilege cassandra has was, and how it was clearly drilled into her that it was conditional and temporary and could be taken away at whim. she is privileged to have grown up economically comfortable and with enough status to get away with being quietly, privately gnc in a country where that is obviously Not Okay - but that privilege could have spun around and stabbed her in the back at a drop of a hat and she knew that. hell, we SEE it spin around to stab her in the back at the end of s1, when the captain makes good on his threat to force her into a convent. everything cassandra had before taking the moonstone was absolutely dependent on her dancing to corona’s exacting tune and it could be snatched away at the whim of her father or literally any person in the coronan court with enough power to force his hand. even her *best friend* being the princess was not enough to keep her place in corona secure. like, she’s better off than, say, lady caine—but barely.
kshdkd i could rant for literal hours about this but like to wrap around back to what you actually ASKED - in s1 cassandra’s desire to be a guard is so so so clearly based in wanting to earn her father’s approval and trust, like, him letting her be a guard is the ultimate symbol of that and every time he says no she is basically hearing “you’re not good enough for me” and quite apart from his parenting and how her trauma influenced how she perceived his feelings towards her, the Fact Is cassandra worked herself to the BONE trying to earn her father’s approval and love and she, crucially, left corona feeling like she hadn’t. and i think it’s important to read her utter DESPERATION for a scrap of true, open, unearned affection from gothel with that fact in mind, because at the end of the day gothel is someone cassandra didn’t know and she can cling to gothel as an ideal, of a sort - as well i know she was an awful person but maybe she loved me anyway, maybe i was her daughter and that mattered to her deep down, because cassandra spent eighteen YEARS trying to earn her dad’s love and she feels like she never, ever measured up, which in a horrible trauma fueled way does actually make gothel the better option here, in that at this point gothel is An Idea and not an actual person.
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primergon · 3 years
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Hello! I’m Vic and I was wondering about a possible matchup!
I’m 24, afab non-binary, ENFP, 5’11, and straight (I think lmao)
Personality wise, I’d definitely describe myself as very chaotic and all over the place-don’t give me any logistic-heavy jobs, or we’ll both have a bad time. I’m an artist and I take great pleasure in telling stories and creating, especially if what I make can brighten someone’s day.
I value kindness very highly and I’m fiercely protective of the people I love, sometimes at the cost of my well being (but I’m working on that) I’ve been told that I have a very strong moral compass, but that can turn into black and white thinking at times. I’m definitely a work in progress as a person, but that’s okay! I’m definitely a very emotional person, and sometimes my feelings control me more than I control them.
Other than art, I love many topics, such as zoology, natural history, science communication, and translation with a dash of linguistics sprinkled in. I love spending time with both animals and the humans I love, but I’m not opposed to a quiet evening in. I’d generally describe myself as an ambivert. I really value active listeners and people who return the energy I give to them. I love when the person I’m talking to and I can bounce ideas off of each other. Also, I’m very physically affectionate, give me a chance and I WILL smother you with hugs. I hope this is enough to go off of!! Thank you!
Hello Vic! I hope you're well :) Thanks for asking and sorry for the wait ! Sadly I didn't finish cyberverse and so I'm not well acquainted with their characters. So I hope you don't mind if I give you two IDW matchups to make up for it <3 I think I'll match you up with Prowl and Rung from IDW / MTMTE!
PROWL IDW
01| Opposites attract is a questionable phrase. That was until Prowl met you. There was this natural curiosity that drew him to you, no matter how much he tries to deny it. Finally, Prowl gave in and realised that you both complete one another. All this time Prowl's been looking for a sense of balance, and he found it in the way you smiled at him.
02| Prowl is rational to the point of what most would call cruel. He's overly critical of everything and this thinking pattern can sometimes frustrate him. You were like a way out of a very dark room, and even if he doesn't say it often, he appreciates your creative and empathic way of thinking. While his focus is singular: intense and deep, yours is broad: extending to numerous possibilities that allow him to better achieve his goals. He thinks highly of you, knowing that even if he won't say it out loud, he has a lot to learn from you.
03| One of the things that he loves about you is your kindness. The idea that your generosity extends to someone like him, warms his spark. He knows he's difficult. In the early stages of your relationship, Prowl struggled to understand what’s going on and how to behave. Yet you made him want to try, and Primus knows he did. Prowl may be subtle about his affections, but you know he cares. From the way, you'd always wake up from your accidental nap by your desk with a blanket around you to the way Prowl always insists on taking you everywhere in his cab.
04| While you help Prowl be kinder to those around him, he helps you learn how to be kinder to yourself. He knows your generosity can sometimes drain you, especially when you're still learning how to put yourself first. If you don't have the strength to say no, Prowl is always more than happy and ready to say it for you. One time you were overwhelmed by the crowd trying to talk with you at Maccadams. It's late and your social battery was running low. You desperately needed a way out of Blurr's ecstatic chatter. Prowl had immediately whisked you away and drove you home, not before scolding the others for bothering his partner. It was endearing, even if everyone showed up at your bar the next day to apologize.
05| Arguments would sometimes arise between you and Prowl and whenever it does, it's usually because you don't agree to his methods. Your heart knows it's not right, yet nearly everything Prowl does is morally questionable. It takes time to find a common ground, especially between two people who are respectively sentimental and detached. Yet you always do. Always. It's because as arrogant and hard-headed Prowl is, he's also versatile and persevering. He doesn't care if it'll take you days or even weeks to find a win-win solution. For the first time in a long time, Prowl is making room for another person in his life. These days it's never about what he wants, it's rather about what you both want. As difficult as it can get, he has never felt happier.
06| Prowl is very dense when it comes to physical affection. One time you hold your hand out to him and he placed a data pad on top of it. He's not big on public displays of affection, Primus knows the moment Prowl hugs you at work is the day Unicron decides to wake up from his millennia-old nap. Yet in private, your affection is infectious enough to make him almost clingy. He would spoon you while you sleep or even hold your hand when he's having his morning Energon. You never question him about it knowing he'll deny even liking it, but it's nice to see someone who flips tables for a living be this gentle with you.
IDW RUNG
01| The first person to truly welcome you aboard the Lost Light was Rung. In the beginning, he was hesitant to let your relationship blossom into anything other than professional. Yet he can't deny his attraction. Lately, he loves watching you throw your head back to laugh at one of Swerve's jokes, and he finds himself wondering how your hands would feel against his. For the first time in a while, Rung wants to be a little selfish. Surely, it won't hurt to ask you out for dinner in his quarters. Looking back, he thinks it's one of the best decisions he's ever made.
02| He was moved by the fierce love you had for your friends. Rung fell in love with your courage in defending those you care about( you were ready to fight Sunder head-on for him.) While your kindness was admirable, he reminds you to take care of yourself better. He helps you put yourself first. " You won't be any good to anyone hurt my dear."
03| Rung is sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefers relationships that help him grow and develop. He seeks deep and meaningful connections and strives to understand what drives the people he cares about and help them be their best selves. Even if it takes a little longer for Rung to warm up and let someone in, he is very focused on building that emotional connection with you. While he helps you keep your emotions in check you gave him an outlet to express his.
04| Your relationship has great potential for a close and caring connection. You and Rung share many commonalities in how you think and approach life. You both have a compassionate and idealistic nature, and even if you disagree on some things, you'll likely feel that when it comes to the important stuff, you're on the same page. It makes conversations interesting and never boring, and it keeps arguments to a minimum. When it comes to Rung as a partner, there's always a solution to everything.
05 | Rung respects your personal space and understands that you need time for yourself. Often he'll let you into his office so you can lounge on his couch while he assembles his latest model of ships, the silence was more than comforting for the two of you. He'd listen fondly to your work and engage in conversations, taking genuine in your story. Rung finds it endearing when you ramble on about science and communication, jumping from one topic to one another, your excitement is enough to make him fall for you all over again.
06 | Affection is something Rung desperately needs. Often people only come to him because they need something. He was a giver who never asks for anything in return, and sometimes, it gets lonely. Therefore he appreciates how expressive you are with your love. He gets flustered from all the kisses and hugs you give him, and he feels giddy like a young mech whenever you go to hold his hand in public. ( Whirl would always joke about " no pre-marital hand-holding " which would fluster him even more. ) Rung's faceplates would always heat up, his bashful expression enough to make you want to smother him even more. He retaliates by opening his glasses to reveal his optics, it's safe to say that you were always stunned silent at their beauty.
I hope you enjoyed this Vic ! xx
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wangxianficrecs · 3 years
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Hi Mojo, I also wanted to share my thoughts on this concrit and commenting discussion, particularly the etiquette of asking permission before identifying racism part. I think there are two conversations here: the concrit and comment etiquette on fics, and POC being able to speak up without having to adhere to etiquette. Of course you can stop reading this message if you would like to as I’m mindful of your argument that you should ask permission first. But if you could read this (not even publish!) then that would be appreciated.
I am a Chinese diaspora. As a Chinese diaspora your comments affected me rather more than I expected them to. I’m being really careful about my own tone right now - because I’m worried that if I come across as angry or even remotely impolite, that my message might get dismissed by a reader thinking I’m just angry and reactive. I’m coming from a personal perspective on this, but I can’t not make it personal as this is something that affects me, and my friends and family, as people.
With your message to be kind in all interactions with authors, all that runs through my mind is the implication that as a POC person, is is MY job to be kind and understanding and polite, and it MY job to willingly teach another person of how their actions and words have impacted me. That if I am angry or offended and speak in a less than nice tone, that somehow this is a petty tit-for-tat move on my part? Of course in an ideal situation we should not react emotionally - but I can’t be expected to stay unemotional in the face of micro aggression and racism, even if it was not meant to be malicious. I’m sure your intention wasn’t this but then the idea that WE must then kindly educate the racist party (accidentally or otherwise) is a huge emotional and mental burden that we can’t be expected to partake in every time.
I know I cannot say ‘us’ in this situation, but this isn’t an issue that only affects an individual. I KNOW I am only one person. I know I may not be the ‘mouthpiece’, as you said, for everyone who is Chinese diaspora. But I can say for certain that I share the same lived experiences of at least some who will agree with me. I’m challenging the idea that an individual can’t be somewhat reflective of a population - otherwise it would be ridiculous to suggest that all people of a similar background must agree on everything and have a spokesperson.
I’m also sure you didn’t mean to or I could be wrong, but I get the sense that you are considering this issue predominately from the perspective of a non-POC (non-Chinese, in this case) author and how we should try not to upset them. It feels that we must consider that the author is coming from a place of no bad intentions or malice and must therefore speak to them in that way - but that is a very idealistic process that POCs and marginalised people can’t always rely on. Ignorance - especially wilful - can be just as harmful and hurtful as direct aggression.
Luckily my experiences in this fandom has demonstrated that authors who are non-Chinese or POC almost always start their fics with an apology and a reassurance that they are receptive to corrections of any cultural inaccuracies they may have. And I think that this is the crux of the etiquette issue that we shouldn’t offer unsolicited criticism without first asking permission. These authors have acknowledged their different background and own potential shortcomings and are open to criticism in this aspect. In these more common cases, there is of course no need to ask for permission - the author has already anticipated conversation around this.
The etiquette issue is when an author has not prefaced their work with this sort of disclaimer - and I am aware it may be unfair to expect this of all fic writers. That’s where this issue of etiquette comes up. The author hasn’t appeared to welcome comments on cultural insensitivity - so I have to think about if I now need to ask nicely for permission to speak. As a reader, specially as a Chinese diaspora, if cultural insensitivity or discrepancies appear without the disclaimer of ‘please let me know if there are any inaccuracies’ then the implication may be that the author simply didn’t care or bother about offending anyone. If they do, then I know it’s just a mistake and that they haven’t been dismissive or uncaring. Without it, the authors intentions become much more ambiguous.
Even worse is when an author blatantly says they’ve made mistakes or haven’t researched and don’t care for feedback. My culture and heritage isn’t a playground for you, and I don’t think fic writers should be exempt from being respectful for the sake of a quick fic.
Like I said earlier, this is not a hypothetical exercise for POC. We’re faced with microaggressions constantly in our real lives, so our patience for this sort of situation runs a bit thin and it is difficult not to react with emotion. I also dislike the idea that I need to ask permission to speak about something that impacts me so profoundly.
A message to prefaces a written piece of work saying that the author is not of that ethnicity or culture and that they welcome comments to fix it always helps. Then the lines of communication aren’t blurred and the onus doesn’t fall on the marginalised or POC to become a teacher.
Mojo, this is actually the second draft of a message to you. I have spent over an hour and a half of my time crafting this message - trying to get the tone right, trying not to come across angry or impolite, trying to say everything I want to say. Your replies to the blogger in the replies of one of the last anons was what really sparked this huge essay- I came away from reading them really effected, and not knowing why I was upset by it. I think you really missed the point that they were trying to say - that obviously, unsolicited criticism can be hurtful and unnecessary, but valid criticism of hurtful practices should not be shut down. Instead, you explained (and I know interpreting tone through text is difficult but I could not read it in a non-patronising way) that in short, if I am mean because they’ve been (allegedly accidentally) mean first then I shouldn’t expect them to listen to any of my concerns or understand why I was upset. Because I was mean back. For me, this felt like a dismissal of something that is profoundly more complex - that it wasn’t a conversation about etiquette anymore, but somehow became one about silencing marginalised people and coddling fragile white egos.
Mojo, I’ve followed you for ages and love all the content and hard work you put out and am infinitely and considerably grateful for your achievements. You are truly a wonderful person with such great ideas and intentions. The fandom would suffer greatly without your dedication. It’s just that on this occasion I think you may have missed the mark a little and had to say something. Others may not agree with me, I know, but I hope you have at least read this.
Lots of love, from a follower
Let me start by saying that I’m very sorry you felt you had to moderate your tone so much in order to be heard.  I really do strive to make my blog a welcoming environment for everybody, and I regret that you’ve felt excluded:  that was never my intention. I am always interested in everyone's point of view.
You've got some really great and specific points here that I think will be helpful to all authors in this fandom -- like ways to introduce your fic and/or be respectful as well as small things that come across as offensive.
The conversation this morning veered way off track from bookmarks to racism, and like I said then, I am not qualified to talk about that. I do not have your history or your experiences: all I can do is listen and empathize and learn. Which I try to do!
What I am qualified to discuss is how writers might respond to comments: I've had lots of experience with that! So my point is: if you approach an author with anger, they are very likely to close themselves off to you. I'm not attaching a value judgement to that, to say that they are right or wrong to do so... it's just a statement based on my observations over many years.
I can imagine how easily a lifetime of tiny (and large) insults and slights would build up and spill over in anger, frustration and resentment. That's very human. Please don't think that I am belittling or denying your experience or your right to feel this way, because I am not.
I respect you. I respect your experience. I respect your right to be angry and to talk about it. Period. I really, really do. I think it's important for your voice to be heard: this is how you feel valid as a person with your feelings, and it's how other people learn!
So let's go back to reading a fic where you find portions (or all) of it racist or insensitive or culturally tone deaf. What is your goal? I ask this just as a student of psychology (and also a parent). Do you want to educate them, or to shame them? Again, I'm not attaching a value judgement to either response. The way you introduce your topic will affect how the author will react. It's not about 'white fragility'... there's no way for you to know who penned that story, just as there is no way for the author to know anything about you when you comment. This is just about humans and how they interact with each other.
This is tough. This is thorny. THIS IS NOT A SIMPLE MATTER. There are always, always going to exceptions, gray areas and straw men: you (and any reader) should always use your judgement. Are you saying this to someone who is hateful and bigoted and cruel with it? Or are you saying it to a 12-year-old girl from corn fields in Nebraska? Are you unsure?
So this isn't about silencing your voice, not at all. It's about judging who you're speaking to and whether or not they'll hear you.
I absolutely do not think that unsolicited or angry fic comments (or bookmarks) are a productive forum for educating people... if that is your goal. And it may not be, which is fine. As you pointed out, the burden of educating people should not rest solely on you, it shouldn't be your responsibility.
I will say again that a place like this, right here - this very letter which I am answering and publishing - IS a great way to educate people. Use it freely, speak loudly, say your piece and share your experiences. Arrgh, I really hope that doesn't come across as condescending. I'm being utterly sincere. I am nearly 50. I've seen a lot of change happening. This is how it happens.
I do not want to silence your voice - or anyone's voice! I want to hear everyone's opinions and thoughts because that ultimately makes me a more well-rounded and considerate person and the world a better place.
I do however, passionately believe that positive change can be affected best through positive interaction. It's not a rule everyone is required to follow, not at all. But is the one that I speak of, and the one that I try to adhere to.
I could never speak for any minority, to say what you should or shouldn't do - as individuals or as a group. But I can speak from the experiences and feelings of a fic author. That's it, that's the limit of my ability. And you may do with that whatever you feel is right.
Let me wrap this up by saying that I really appreciated this letter and Nonny - you were very brave to throw this out into the forum, thank you! You had some extremely useful and important points that I am very happy to share. I am sorry my comments hurt you, and I hope that you feel a little better now.
Having said all this, I would really not like to start a huge discussion on racism in the fandom. I am the wrong person to conduct that conversation: I don't know enough about it, nor do i have the proper experiences or point of view.
With that, I must go, and I'll see you all tomorrow!
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