#the way this show gives depression metaphors
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#when I find myself in times of trouble, Charlie Kelly comes to me, speaking words of wisdom...
#userbbelcher#cinemapix#cinematv#usersitcom#dailyflicks#userthing#userrobin#usermandie#chewieblog#userstream#useroptional#mediagifs#iasip#filmtvcentral#smallscreensource#underbetelgeuse#im currently in the crevice#the way this show gives depression metaphors#ily#4k
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To Give a Helping Hand | jjk (ch 2)
☆summary: when Jungkook finally approaches you at the gym, he realizes you've been wanting him just as badly as he's been wanting you.
☆pairing: idol!Jungkook x female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)
☆genre: smut, idol!au
☆warnings: unedited, curses, explicit content: mentions of hard drugs (in a metaphor, no character does hard drugs), jerking off, oral sex (male receiving), fantasies about female oral sex (face riding), ball fondling, a tiny bit of marking, exhibitionism (they are in a car?), deep throating ish?, mouth fucking
☆word count: 3.1k
☆a/n: pure unedited sins again bc you guys asked for it and I am far too horny for mr jeon jungkook (thank you, calvin klein). I also wrote this when I was severely depressed and in need of a distraction so my bad if it sucks haha
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Jungkook watches himself in the mirror. His hair clings to the sweat on his forehead as he curls his arms, the strain enough to make him wince. Yet he pushes through, finishes the motion and then goes for another one.
He always trains until failure. Because it’s the best way to grow muscle, yes, but also because he likes the pain of it. Likes the burn, likes to put his body through the worst.
He knows he can take it.
It helps that you’re just a few benches away, doing some Bulgarian split squats. Twenty-five-pound dumbbells in each hand, you’ve been going for twelve reps each time, your focus unfaltering as you stare at a spot on the floor in front of you.
Jungkook wishes you’d look at him.
His next bicep curl ends on failure, and he winces as he lets go of the weights, putting them down on each side of the bench. He grabs his water bottle, taking a long swig of it as he looks at your reflection in the mirror.
You’ve got perfect form, your strong thighs pushing up on what he thinks is your fifth – sixth? – rep on your right leg. Your muscles shift under your skin as you move, and Jungkook forces himself to look away.
He doesn’t want to end up with a boner like he did last time. He’s been ashamed of himself somehow, and he doesn’t want to repeat it.
But it’s like you’re keen on teasing him. On being a walking nightmare, with those same devilish biker shorts that fried his brain that time. He’d told himself that he’d approach you, but so far he hasn’t been successful.
Indeed, you’ve suddenly decided to start coming to the gym with a friend, and though your friend is cute, with dark skin that hints at a perfect skincare routine, Jungkook doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you.
But yes, you’re keen on teasing him, doing squats next to him after he’s moved to do shoulder press on the machine. Indeed, despite all the squat racks being empty in the gym right now, you choose the one right in front of Jungkook, and it’s a battle of will to refrain from looking at your ass each time you’re bending down.
So Jungkook looks up to the ceiling, pushes up, and he clenches his jaw at the strain in his shoulders. It’s a good burn, one he knows will leave him sore, but it’s also one that leaves him thirsty when he finishes his reps. Unfortunately, his water bottle is empty, so he walks to the water station, the music in his earbuds loud.
He’s almost done refilling his bottle when you come up behind him, with your own water bottle in hand. He feels your eyes on his profile and, heart suddenly racing, Jungkook meets your gaze.
You already have a small, knowing smile on your lips when his eyes find yours. Beautiful as ever with your high ponytail, Jungkook finds he gets lost in your gaze, unable to find the exit.
It comes to him when the water in his bottle overflows and he makes a mess on the floor. You chuckle and, despite his cheeks burning, Jungkook faces you fully.
“You come here often?” he asks over the sound of his earbuds, and he quickly takes one out.
If you’re surprised that he’s speaking to you, you don’t let it show. Instead, you raise your water bottle, motioning towards the water station. “Just a couple of times per workout.”
Jungkook feels like an idiot, yet he steps aside to let you fill up your bottle. He doesn’t walk away though, just watches you, and damn if you aren’t even more beautiful from so close.
It isn’t fucking fair.
“I’ve noticed we often come here at the same time,” Jungkook says, scrambling to find something to talk to you about.
You offer him a corner smile as you finish filling up your bottle, twisting the cap back on. “We do.”
He purses his lips, wondering if you can hear the thunder in his chest, and then he says, “I’m Jungkook.”
Your eyes twinkle with mischief, and he wants to curse himself because obviously you know who he is. But you surprise him, replying with your name and a polite bow of your head, and immediately mirrors the motion.
Then he says your name, and he has a feeling it’ll become his favourite word to moan whenever he comes. It’s inevitable – the lust he has for you is clouding his vision even now, as if the rest of the gym is fading out of focus. You don’t disappoint, holding his gaze, lips slightly parted as if you, too, are imagining what it’d be like to be together.
To tangle in bed together, up until the rest of the world cease to exist.
Is it stupid that Jungkook asks for your number next? He doesn’t think so. Especially not as you oblige, putting it into his phone. It feels like a victory – a huge one, one he knows he’ll celebrate in an entirely not appropriate way, yet he can’t stop himself from smiling to you.
It’s like you’ve given him strength to finish his workout grandly. Indeed, he maxes his PR on his next two exercises, and he leaves the gym with a comfortable soreness in his arms and shoulders, right after he’s taken a quick shower.
To his surprise, you’re standing outside, near the building in the dim light of dusk, eyes glued to your phone when he steps out of the gym.
“Need a lift?” he can’t help but ask.
You startle and he does feel bad, up until your features break into a smile that makes his heart race in his chest. “Just waiting for the bus,” you say.
Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, surprised that you can afford this gym yet use public transport. He wonders, are you the kind of girl who cares about the environment to the point that you decided not to get a car? Something about the thought is adorable, and Jungkook toys with his lip piercings for a few seconds.
“I mean, I really don’t mind lifting you if you need to,” he repeats, hoping with everything in his soul that you’ll say yes.
“I don’t want to be a burden,” you insist, scrunching up your nose cutely. “But thanks for offering.”
He takes a few steps towards you so that you don’t have to speak so loud anymore, desperately looking for something else to say. “Where’s your friend?” he asks, thinking he’s a genius for asking.
“Sera?” you answer, as if he has any clue what your friend is called. “Oh, her boyfriend picked her up earlier.”
“He didn’t offer to drive you?” Jungkook says, not bothering to hide the condescendence in his tone.
You wince. “I fear that’s too much to ask of Yeonseok.”
“Then I really must drive you home,” Jungkook insists, offering you the sweetest smile he can convey.
“And what, find out where I live before you’ve even taken me out on a date?”
It’s like the world stops turning, and all Jungkook can see is you, and that twinkle of mischief lighting your gaze.
“You want me to take you out on a date?” he asks, fully aware of that bright pink Kooky plushie swinging from your keychain right now.
“Who wouldn’t?” you tease.
He narrows his gaze, yet can’t help but play along with you.
He’s been going insane for this moment for weeks after all.
“Then let’s say this is our first date,” he says. “We can drive around and if you like it, I’ll drop you at home, if you don’t I’ll drop you somewhere else. Deal?”
You smile, genuine, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Deal.”
And that’s how Jungkook finds himself in his car with you seated next to him, your head bobbing along to the music on the radio. Though you’re quick to turn towards him, your gaze burning on his profile.
“How long have you wanted to talk to me?”
Jungkook chokes on his saliva, and he coughs as he glances at you, the tip of his ears reddening. “What?”
“You think I haven’t noticed you staring at me every time we work out at the same time?” you tease, and you laugh as he shrugs his shoulders.
“You’ve been putting on a show, it’s not my fault.”
“I have?”
He lets out a non-committal sound that makes you laugh, a crystalline laugh that sounds like he’ll get addicted to it far too easily. Like heroin – one hit and he’s a goner.
As you laugh, you rest your hand on his thigh, giving it a quick, playful squeeze.
Insane. He’s fucking insane for you.
“Listen,” you say after a tense silence with your hand on his thigh. “I really am not looking for a relationship right now.”
He hears the underlying truth – you wouldn’t date an idol. He doesn’t blame you.
It’s not like he plans on ever dating you anyway.
“But if you want some fun, then I’m all in.”
His throat feels dry, and Jungkook wets his lips, glancing at you quickly. The mischief has shifted into pure lust, something he wasn’t expecting he’d see right away.
Hell, he’d imagined he’d have to work for it. But you’re offering yourself on a silver platter, and he’d be fucking dumb to let the opportunity slip away.
“You aren’t what I expected,” he says.
No, you are ten times better.
You run your hand up and down his thigh, head tilted to the side as you look at him. It’s hard to focus on the street in front of him, especially as his dick already starts getting hard.
“I hope that’s a good thing,” you let out on a low, breathy tone that makes him truly lose touch with sanity.
“Have you ever seen the city from the mountains?” he asks seemingly out of the blue.
You pout, glancing towards those you can see in the distance. “On hikes, yeah I have. Why?”
“I know a spot.”
He doesn’t actually, but he ends up finding one anyway after you’ve driven around for a little while. Though you can’t see most of the city from here, it’s still beautiful, twinkling lights looking back at you down in the city.
You admire the view, and Jungkook gets lost admiring you. Your profile is delicate, your hair still just as fluffy and unruly around your head. He instinctively pushes a strand behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your cheek as you meet his gaze.
The car fills with electricity, with an intensity that cannot be ignored, and Jungkook dives in, pressing his mouth on yours. You immediately kiss him back, your hand finding his thigh again, and Jungkook pushes his tongue in your mouth, lapping you up, making the kiss far too languid for his own good.
You let out a breathy sound that makes him see stars, and when your hand shifts closer to his dick, he feels all his blood rushing down. His own hand finds the back of your head, and he tilts his to the side to deepen the kiss, right as he softly grunts.
You’re a good kisser. All lips and tongue, and Jungkook wants to pull you on his lap, to keep on kissing you all night long, but it seems you’ve got other plans in mind. Indeed, you pull away from the kiss, leaving him breathing raggedly as he looks at you quizzically, but then you’re quickly pulling your hair back into a ponytail.
His heartrate skyrockets as he understands what will happen next. It’s like he’s stuck in one of his deepest, darkest fantasies, and you’re jumping right in with him.
You truly are devilish, aren’t you?
When your hair is safely tucked in a ponytail, you meet Jungkook’s gaze. Your eyes shine with undiluted lust, and it steals the breath from his lungs.
To be the receiver of such desire…
He’s going to come far too quickly, isn’t he?
You pat his thigh again, leaning in for another kiss. Jungkook immediately obliges, colliding his mouth with the softness of yours. You palm him through his pants the second he pushes his tongue between your lips again, and Jungkook grunts as he instinctively bucks his hips, seeking for more friction.
“You’re a little impatient,” you say as you pull away, and you glance down at where you’re touching him. “Maybe we should get you out of your pants.”
It doesn’t take more than that to convince Jungkook to push his pants down, and he’s soon sitting there, his dick out in his car as if someone can’t just pull up and see.
Yet the thought turns him on, and Jungkook is infinitely thankful that he took a quick shower at the gym when you grab the base of his dick, jerking him off once.
“You’re so big,” you breathe.
All he can do is grunt as you stroke him again, your grip firm. It feels even better than he imagined. Like heaven – your hand fits perfectly around him, and you expertly flick your wrist whenever you near the top.
All that’s missing is lube, but you’re quick to bend down, blowing a breath on the sensitive tip of his dick.
“Shit,” Jungkook lets out.
“You often get sucked in your car?” you ask like the brat you are.
He can’t reply. Not when you wrap your lips around his tip, and he thinks he’s floating out of his body. Your mouth is wet, warm and so, so soft around him he thinks he might just come already.
“No,” he chokes out as you swirl your tongue around him before pushing down on him, up until he hits the back of your throat.
It takes everything in Jungkook not to buck his hips and fuck your mouth. But he wants to be nice, wants to play nice, if only so that he won’t scare you.
He doesn’t want to lose you before he’s even had you.
He reclines his seat, allowing you a better access, and you reward him with a small moan as you can take more of him in, and it’s enough to make his mind spin with addictive bliss.
You pull away, a string of spit connecting your mouth to his dick. “Good boy.”
That’s it. He’s a goner. Especially when you truly get to work, offering him the perfect combination of sucking and tongue, of your hand jerking him off in time with the bobbing of your head. He keeps his moans low, more grunts than anything, but when you moan as he hits the back of your throat, Jungkook curses loudly.
“You like this?” you tease, blinking away tears from the gag reflex you’ve been holding in.
“Holy fuck,” he answers, and you laugh lightly before taking him in your mouth once more.
You’re drooling all over him, sucking his soul out of his body, and Jungkook feels his balls tightening.
Already.
“Wait,” he lets out, and you pull away, breathing heavily as you meet his gaze.
“Uh?”
He wipes the drool on your lips, and you immediately suck on his thumb, tongue teasing the pad of the finger. You’re going to fry his brain before the end of the night, aren’t you?
“If you keep sucking me like this I’ll come.”
You smirk, downright lustful. “Isn’t that the point?”
“I want to fuck you,” he says, and he hates that he sounds so pouty, but he can’t help it.
He wants to live every single one of his dirty fantasies with you, after all.
“And I want to know what your cum tastes like,” you counter, squeezing his dick hard.
Jungkook moans, his eyes fluttering shut, his defiance fully leaving him now. If you want him to come in your mouth, then he’ll happily oblige. And then you’re bending down, going back to work as he murmurs your name.
You’re better than he imagined, so much better, and his dick twitches in your mouth as you moan. He feels the vibrations all along his shaft, and he grabs your ponytail, increasing your rhythm. Pushing your head down on him so that you take more of him, and when you don’t complain, instead moaning again, Jungkook stops holding himself back.
He fucks up in your mouth, and your hand flies to his thigh, your nails digging in his skin. The slight pain sets his nerves alight with desire, and he loses himself in you, in the rocking of his hips as he snaps them up in your mouth.
You take him in, holding the gag reflex in, moaning as he establishes a quick rhythm to chase his orgasm. He thinks he’s in love with your mouth – you’re so good, too good to him. He highly doubts he deserves it.
Not when he hasn’t given you anything in return. And he wants to taste you, wants you to sit on his face until he can’t breathe anymore and he gets drunk to the taste of you. It’s that image that brings him closer to his high, so close he already buzzes with it.
You push him over the edge when you grab his balls, gently squeezing. He moans out your name as he comes, unloading his cum deep in your throat as you take over, bobbing your head up and down slowly to milk his orgasm.
And you do milk his orgasm. You fucking do – he’s truly, fully swimming in bliss by the time his dick stops twitching, his balls fully emptied.
You pull away from him, and he thinks he loves your mouth even more when you push your tongue out to show that you swallowed everything. It’s so hot he’d fool himself into going for another round, but the hour is getting late, and he’s got an early morning tomorrow.
“Holy shit,” he lets out.
You laugh, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “That felt good?”
“Fuck, yeah it did.”
You smirk, tilting your head to the side. “Happy to oblige.”
“I’ll have to repay the favour to you one of these days,” Jungkook says, and he hopes you don’t hear the underlying hope in his tone.
He doesn’t want you to think he’s been dreaming about you, about your body for so long.
You wet your lips. “Your place this weekend?”
And though maybe he should say no, as you’re the fan and he the idol, Jungkook answers with, “Bring a bottle of wine.”
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Yeah this is pure sin. Porn with practically no plot hahah did we like it? Let me know what you thought!
#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fic#jungkook#to give a helping hand ch 2#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fic#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook fic#btswritersclub
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I want to talk a little bit about Daniel in the Interview with the Vampire show, because the new trailer material has me stuck thinking about him, and also I’ve never written about how meaningful he is as disabled character to me before.
I don’t see many people thinking about show!Daniel in these terms, but he’s a canon disabled character. And I think the way he is written is just SO good. The acerbic wit, his relationship to doctors and his medication, his rueful acceptance of the way his disability has changed him. It is all so correct!! It’s really incredibly rare to have not only a disabled character written this well but specifically a chronically ill character written this well. His illness is always present; it doesn’t get forgotten about by the story. It gives Daniel insight into the vampires (more on this in a min), but it also gives Louis and Armand leverage over him. When Louis triggers his Parkinson’s symptoms? Deeply not ok. But that’s what made it such a great scene, and really made Louis feel dangerous and threateningin that moment. Armand and Louis arranging Daniel’s meds is a sign of great care and also great power over Daniel. It’s the perfect way to communicate the complicated power dynamic in their relationship.
I also just fucking love that this show takes place in 2022 and doesn’t erase the pandemic. Covid is a very present concern for Daniel and I cannot describe how validating that is for me as someone who is clinically vulnerable to Covid and who has had to really limit my life and take a lot of precautions because everyone else has decided to stop caring whether they pass on Covid or not. The fact that Daniel gets on a plane to Dubai is a BIG DEAL. He’s risking his life to talk to Louis and Armand before he’s even in the room with them. He really wants to be there. I have to make a similar calculation every time I travel, and trust me, getting on that plane knowing getting sick could spiral you into even worse health or kill you is really hard.
I think making Daniel disabled and including the pandemic is kind of a genius level decision on a thematic level. Of course Daniel is now facing down his mortality, which gives him a whole new lens on the vampires and the fact that he once asked them to turn him. And the pandemic further highlights his fragility, and is also possibly being used as a cover for drama that’s happening in the vampire world. But I think it also really sets Daniel up as a foil to Louis.
There’s a lot of analysis of the vampire chronicles that reads vampirism as a metaphor for queerness. But I would actually propose that it’s a much neater parallel for disability and illness in a lot of ways. So many of Louis’s initial experiences after being turned resonated with me, as someone who became chronically ill in my 20s. My appetite and relationship to food completely changed, much like Louis. My relationship with the outdoors and the sun changed, because of dysautonomia and allergy reasons. I was very mad, and very depressed, and I too have missed out on birthday parties and big life events like Louis did because I was too sick to go. Hell, you can even say that the way that Louis is treated as evil by his family, that the way vampires literally can’t be a part of society during the day, is reminiscent of ableist exclusion and ugly laws. (Ugly laws were laws that forbid disabled people, especially those with visible differences, from being out in public, and they were on the books in many American municipalities until the 1970s.) You can look at Lestat being an out and proud vampire in the first few episodes on the season and imploring Louis to leave his shame behind as a queer thing, but you can also view it as a disabled thing. Disabled people are portrayed as monstrous so often (and in a way that has gone relatively unexamined compared to say, the queer coded villain trope) that sometimes it’s just easier to embrace that label: I’m the monstrous Crip, but at least I’m not ashamed of or disgusted by who I am anymore.
I do think the real strength of this adaptation is that while you can find parallels between queerness or disability or other forms of marginalization with vampirism, ultimately it’s not a one-to-one parallel. It speaks to the real world but ultimately it is a gothic horror story about supernatural monsters. So I don’t mean to say that vampirism directly equals disability, because it does not. But I do think that making Daniel disabled was an intentional choice to help draw out some of those parallels, and I think the text is richer for it.
So Louis and Daniel have had these kind of parallel experiences of uncontrollable and difficult things happening to their bodies. It sets them up perfectly as foils, and even, I would argue, as the A plot and B Plot protagonists. This is one of my favorite ways of kind of examining the structure of a TV show (or maybe it’s that most of my favorite shows seem to be structured this way?). When TV was all episodic, it would be common to refer to the A plot (mystery of the week), B plot (interpersonal drama happening as the mystery gets solved) and C plot (any overarching plot tying the season together) in an episode. Now that stuff is serialized, there’s often a main protagonist, who has the main dramatic question and the most agency, and then there is often a secondary B plot that explores similar themes and mirrors the A plot, or presents a second main character who is the ldifferent side of the same coin” to the main protagonist. (My favorite example of this is Flint and Max in Black Sails, and I’ve also made the argument that Wilhelm and Sara fit this pattern in Young Royals.) In IwtV, Louis is obviously the main protagonist of the show, especially in the A Plot, which is the stuff taking place in New Orleans/Paris. But I would argue that Daniel is the protagonist of the B Plot set in Dubai. At the very least they’re intentionally set up as mirrors of each other:
They are both unreliable narrators, who are struggling with the way memory contorts (through memory erasure, illness, deliberate obfuscations, and just the passage of time). The most recent teaser trailer, where we hear Louis saying “I don’t remember that”, with panic in his voice, further underlined this similarity between Louis and Daniel to me. I don’t know if it means that Louis has also had his memory tampered with, as I’m assuming Daniel has, but I do think it means that Louis is going to be struggling with feeling out of control of his own narrative more in season 2, a thing that was already starting for Daniel in season 1.
They are also both locked into power struggles with people more powerful than they are. The fact that Louis is under Lestat in the flashbacks and above Daniel in the Dubai scenes in terms of power/status makes it all the more interesting. And, if we want to go ahead and assume that the Devils Minion’s years have happened in the past by the time we get to Dubai— it’s possible that both Daniel and Louis are united in being the less powerful partner in their own respective fucked up gothic romances.
They’re also both the audience’s entry point into their respective stories. Louis’s narration guides us into the world of vampires. Daniel’s questioning satisfies our human curiosity in Dubai.
I think one of the things that makes the show so special is the way that these two protagonists interact. In a lot of shows the a plot and the b plot stay pretty separate. I love talking about Black Sails for this because I think it’s such a good example; Flint and Max never exchange dialogue the entire show, even though they’re so clearly affecting each other the whole time. But the way that Louis and Daniel clash in Dubai is so exciting. We see them both wrestling for control of the narrative. It’s thrilling to watch and it just hammers home the theme of how complicated and changeable stories can be.
I am SO excited to see how the Dubai scenes play out in season 2 because of it. I really can’t wait. I’m really hoping we’ll see Daniel and Louis’s relationship evolve in surprising ways, and I’m holding my breath that we’ll get a lot of Armandaniel material to work with. (I have a whole other post drafted that’s much less smart than this one and is just me waxing poetic about Devil Minion’s theories which I may post at some point. You have been warned.)
I do have two wishes for Daniel in the new season, and they’re 1: that he gets to have romance/sex, because disabled (and older!) characters are so often seen as unworthy of being desired, and I would like to see that challenged and 2: that he continues to refuse to be turned/is not offered a vampiric cure for Parkinson’s. The magic cure for a disability or chronic illness is probably my least favorite disability trope, because it serves to erase disabled characters and representation from the narrative, and I want to see my experiences continue to be reflected in Daniel’s. That means that whatever ending Daniel’s story has will probably have at least a bit of tragedy baked into it, but I’m ok with that.
#interview with the vampire amc#interview with the vampire#iwtv#daniel molloy#armandaniel#devils minion#louis de pointe du lac#armand#my meta#my crip media reviews
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I loved all of what Sarah highlighted in her interview today and I'll elaborate a bit especially on the romance part:
In Maas’ fantasy worlds, love interests often exist as fated “mates,” with invisible strings between them that are powerful and often poetic. Readers can see the literary metaphors, like complementary powers between two characters. But other times, there are no metaphors, with their connection initially seeming random.
She's too attached to the mate trope and I like that she gives us different cases and scenarios for it, otherwise it'll be boring.
“Sometimes, I will write a scene with two characters that I’ve planned for them to get together, and then they have no …” She shakes her head slightly at me. “It’s like holding two dolls and being like, now kiss! And they won’t. … And then sometimes a different character will walk in and they will just” — she snaps.
I yelled at this part because it's as if she plucked the scene from Azriel's bonus chapter and used it as an example. Those parallels between Elain and Gwyn are intentional. It doesn't mean Elain is bad it's just their dynamic doesn't work as a couple and it was obvious to the author. I know she didn't specify who this was about but like, come on, who tried to kiss and which character showed up in a bonus chapter after that depressing scene and gave a glimmer of hope?
“It feels like magic in a way where, as much as I tried to plot out things years in advance, I let my characters guide a story. And they usually wind up with the people that they need to be with and who offer them the most growth and joy.”
I love this so much and allow me to speak about my favorite ship and its because the snippets we saw of Az and Gwyn together especially in the bonus chapter brought out a lighter version of Az. His scenes with Gwyn were light-hearted and the bonus chapter ends on a hopeful note for them. It's hard to deny that connection between them whether you theorize she's luring him or they're mates, those theories wouldn't exist if she had no ties to him (she's in his own chapter like come on).
I go the philosophical route with my next question: We’re talking about fate here, but at what point is a character the agent of their own fate? What happens if someone rejects their mate? (Listen, if I were Fae and I didn’t like my mate, whatever God chose for me is not my business.)
People are jumping the gun and assume this example is set to be Elucien but... we have Helion and Lady of Autumn likely being an example of a tragic rejected mates story (if you read ACOWAR and their history it's obvious they're mates). Maybe it's Mor and Eris and that's the secret that ties them to each other. We have other characters from other series too.
For a convincing mate rejection story in my opinion, it needs more than one book or it's a case that we see with side characters where we can see their history and the long-term implications of a rejected bond.
It's too easy of a story to have one person's central conflict be the words "no I reject you" and they're done. Again, this is not exclusive to ACOTAR but also her other series.
“That’s something I find to be very interesting,” she replies. “What if the forces that be put you with the wrong person? Or what if you just decide, eh, I’m not interested. … There’s a lot to explore within the concept of mates and your agency about it.
The concept of agency is something many readers in the fandom discussed especially when it comes to mating bonds and there were arguments on (would Rhys fell for Feyre if she wasn't his mate or would have Cassian fell for Nesta if she wasn't his mate). We know that some mates don't work out but stay together because their dynamic is unhealthy (Rhys's and Tamlin's parents). We got examples of a loveless mating bond already.
We also saw that Nesta didn't immediately accept the term "mate" because it would mean cutting off her last tether with humanity. It's not a matter of "you're my mate" "yes I'll be with you", the dynamic between the mated couple is important to explore.
“I’m not going to say if I am exploring it in future books or not,” she continues, “but it definitely offers a wealth of things to explore with this concept of freewill and what is true love. Is it something that’s destined? Or is it something that you make? Is it both?”
This part aligns with what I think about Elucien. We never had a mated pairing who knew they were mates but are not in love with each other. Every mated couple found out they're mates when they were already in love.
Can a destined love turn into true love? Or do you settle for a destined love without love being in the equation. Love wasn't in the equation for Rhys's parents, but love was the equation for Feysand and Nessian. Elucien was left unexplored for a reason and both Elain and Lucien view each other by label "mate", they didn't have a chance to get to know each other. So it's going to be very interesting to see them navigate their feelings for each other despite the mating bond.
I didn't expect her to elaborate a lot on this but I love that she did and I hope in future interviews she gives us more good bits about her writing and examples of the decisions she took for some characters and couples.
Didn't expect this post to be long but happy reading! I'm still reeling from HOFAS 🥲
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Observation Log Series: Sayaka [III]
Today on: Visual metaphors for depression and the actual “magic of friendship”.
Images are taken from this Magia Record game video on YouTube.
I am pretty sure someone else in the ages past had already covered this bit, so I suppose I will add this to the archives for my own documentation purpose. Or for just anyone who feels like reading it, really.
Sayaka’s magical girl transformation in this sequence is very interesting. There are a lot of jokes about how she’s yeeted everywhere by the Holy Quintet in her own transformation, so here are the notes:
The beginning of her transformation is shot in the sequence of a downward spiral. Sayaka falls through the hoops and into the ocean as her opening, a reference to her descent into madness (keep in mind: the sea as a metaphor for an inescapable expanse of darkness; the abyss) in the main show, as well as her deteriorating mental health. The spiral drawn to resemble piano keys (🎹) is also no coincidence, but they break apart when Sayaka plummets past them, much like music becoming discordant and incoherent.
Right after that, she gets thrown around respectively by her friends, each of whom gets her to the destination of being fully transformed. What is important to notice is that for the majority of this part, you cannot see Sayaka’s face, and she appears completely indifferent and motionless as others pass her around without hassle. You would think someone like Sayaka, who typically exhibits stubborn tendencies, would be resistant to being literally thrown around, but I feel that there are reasons for this:
• Sayaka being shown not as weightless, but rather as something heavy that makes an impact wherever she goes. She’s literally dead weight in the water despite her Witch being a mermaid. There is no attempt whatsoever we see from her where she tries to swim gracefully or float naturally in the sea. She just seems to be…there, being moved rather than performing her transformation by herself like all the other magical girls.
• The Holy Quintet are the essence of friendship that help Sayaka not necessarily out of her depression, but rather giving her a massive boost by flinging her to the next appropriate person. Given she is portrayed as dead weight, she doesn’t transform manually and do fancy dances, instead heavily reliant on the support of the crew to help her get changed. The sequence where she’s thrown onto the bed and lies there before being flung out again is very reminiscent of the tragedy that individuals struggling with mental health problems can barely get out of bed on their own at times, even to the point where it seems they might never leave said bed. Homura has to pick up Sayaka in a bag before tossing her to Kyoko, where it unfurls and it becomes her cape.
It is also interesting to note that the bed is surrounded by mirrors of all sizes and shapes that don’t reflect Sayaka at all, but rather the oceanic creatures and environment. Her self image is nonexistent and replaced by the sea. When she’s thrown to Kyoko, it is only then she is “stopped”, and we finally get to see her face. Her hair is long, unlike the appearance of her short hair that we are used to. Kyoko helps her with the last part of her transformation by putting on the gold hair pin.
Kyoko being the one to not throw Sayaka but rather casually stop said impact is likely symbolic of their relationship. The ocean is stopped by the unmovable rock.
• In the very last part, Sayaka appears standing on a platform that arises from the sea, and only then she seems fully refreshed and ready to go. Once again, instead of swirling out of the water or something, she needs something solid to stand on and raise her to the surface as she is incapable of doing so herself. Her entire transformation seems to highlight that others need to be on standby to support her, or else she will likely just dwindle and sink motionlessly to the bottom of the ocean. By the way she’s posed, it also seems to imply that she has complete trust in her friends, who were there at every turn to assist her transformation.
Something else I thought about as well is the irony that despite being mermaid coded in terms of her own Witch and backstory, Sayaka is almost always portrayed as a sinking vessel the moment she hits the water. A finless mermaid, yet frustratingly a mermaid that cannot even swim or float. I find that this interpretation would fit into the existing narrative that Sayaka and the Incubators view her as useless or inadequate. What good a mermaid who sinks in the sea? What good a magical girl who needs others to help her transform proper? Noting that Sayaka’s transformation always involves her emerging out of water seems to tell us that she has always pulled her weight out of the abyss by herself.
TLDR: It wouldn’t hurt to show that Sayaka requires support from everyone in order to do her best.
#Sayaka Archives#madoka magica#puella magi madoka magica#magical girl#pmmm#pmmm sayaka#sayaka miki#mahou shoujo madoka magica#magia record
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Obsessed with how Sun fits so much of himself into such a tiny space.
I mean first of all, literally.
He’s gonna have to surgically detach his rays from that slide.
And then we have his living space, the Superstar daycare. Big at first but when it’s the only place you can seem to access while others get free roam of half the building or even get to go outside of it? TINY. The outside world is unfathomably HUGE in comparison. And everyone he comes into contact with has basically seen so much more of it than he has. And that must feel so impressive to him but at the same time so strange and …maybe somewhat limiting? Like no matter how hard he tries to relate or understand from his little corner, others have experienced things firsthand that he probably never has. Things he’s read to kids in storybooks and sang songs about but never seen up close.
And we know that in some sense he likes things to be just so. The barrels are aligned. The lights stay on. That’s the only way he feels safe. So I imagine his own limited perspective when he comes face to face with people from the outside world feels kind of scary to him in a way.
And despite the daycare being his domain, people encroach upon his space without warning, and he plays along. All of a sudden there are people and he must deal with them accordingly and he must act in a certain way no matter how he feels about it and how much stress he’s put under (for example, continuing on with playtime despite the whole situation with Moon, perhaps because he has to, or he wants to, or he has nothing else - maybe all of the above).
^ Look at his little room! It makes me sad. I don’t know if Moon ripped up all the bots that are scattered over the floor or if Sun did or if someone else did but the fact is the place looks so depressing compared to most of the Glamrocks’ rooms it’s painful. Here we have two of the most neglected robots in the pizzaplex and they carry on like that doesn’t matter, but we know Sun knows that something is very wrong so even if this is the norm for him and even if he’s used to it, the more broken bits and pieces he encounters the more it must be killing him because every day when he’s done entertaining the kids or pretending someone’s going to show up that day (depending on if the daycare is closed or not) he goes back to a permanent reminder of just how messed up things have become.
And he seems SO HAPPY to see a stranger from outside of that little room. No matter how you look at that, it’s pretty sad. Is he faking his enthusiasm? What a frustrating and stressful situation that must be to be at the beck and call of someone you don’t genuinely want to be around and act like you’re their new best friend. Is he actually excited? What a stressful situation that must be too, only for any semblance of control you had to be abruptly torn from you as you’re forced to switch when the lights go out, clearly horrified by what’s going to happen all the while because you know it won’t be good for anyone.
Does it hurt when he switches? I’m fascinated by Sun’s relationship with Moon. It’s played in so many interesting ways by the fandom. Are they two separate people? Are they like roommates who share a body? Are they two aspects of the same AI? They’re so versatile and I love it. I love all the takes there are on their personalities. Sun? Silly, goofy, playful, ray of sunshine, bundle of nerves, parental, fiery, bossy, strict, the embodiment of anxiety, and so on. Moon? Prankster, gremlin, sleepy, calm, collected, grumpy, silly, catlike, etc. I love it when they get along and I love it when they don’t. I have so many feelings about them both and it’s less that I want to know the truth about them (if there is such a thing) and more I just like exploring every avenue because they’re just really fun and fascinating characters.
And THAT SYMBOLISM. Wow. The sun and moon themes give you so much to play around with. So many metaphors and so many things you can plaster the surfaces of your house or the background of your phone with that make you think of them. The moon’s phases. The way the sun sets earlier in the winter. Would Sun get tired more easily in the winter? Does Moon have a blue moon phase that makes him feel down at the drop of a hat? Because same, guys, same.
Not getting over these guys any time soon I guess.
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RWBY Volume 9 Epilogue: The Five Stages of Grief Again
As @greenteaandtattoos's friend noticed, volume 9 epilogue has its five narrators embody the five stages of grief:
Negation - refusal to aknowledge the truth, while clinging to a preferable reality.
Anger - lashing out on others in an attempt to channel one's pain and frustration.
Bargaining - being ready to negotiate, to give something in order to avoid loss. When death already happened, it is about exploring what ifs scenarios.
Depression - sadness, desperation and refusal to engage with others. It often comes with low energy.
Acceptance - coming to terms with one's loss and finding a new stability.
This isn't surprising, as volume 9 as a whole uses this motif. In particular, Ruby herself goes through the 5 stages twice. First to grieve over Penny and then to face her emotions towards Summer. Finally, RWBYJN reach acceptance (the main theme). Acceptance of death, loss, pain, change and of themselves. All in all, RWBYJ's journey in the Ever after is a metaphor for the process of grieving. Well, the epilogue shows us how the other characters have been dealing with this emotion.
So, here comes NORWQ as the 5 stages of grief:
Nora = anger: tbf she is the most difficult to pintpoint, as she fits the pattern less than others. Still, her section focuses on how Vacuans and Atlesians are both reacting with anger at the new status quo. Vacuans are frustrated that Atlas brought its own problems into their Kingdom. Atlesians are furious nobody came to help them. Nora herself enters into a short confrontation with two angry Vacuans and clearly projects her own past into the conflict. What's wrong with orphans? What's wrong with her?
Oscar = negation: our Little Prince is the only one that believes Ruby and the others might be alive. He even looks for an answers into books (mirroring how RWBYJ is grieving through a fairy tale). On a personal level, he and Ozpin are both fighting the merge, so they are negating a transformation, which is bound to happen.
Ren = bargaining: Lotus boy is trying to replace Jaune as the glue who keeps the team together. He is conscious of everyone's feelings and problems, but is not sure on how to handle them. Moreover, his section deals with how Salem's faction goes through a bargain. Sure, it lost some people in Atlas, but Tyrian and Mercury free the Crown, so that new forces are ready to fight for the Evil Witch of the West.
Winter = depression: our Winter Maiden is dealing very very badly with Penny and Weiss's lost. She blames herself for everything and is far away from accepting Penny's final teaching: "I won't be gone, I will be a part of you". Winter is struggling to honor both Penny and Weiss's legacy. If anything, she feels she isn't the right person to do so. Her section is also the most somber on a macrochosm level. As a matter of fact through her we discover Vale was destroyed by Salem and we see how the refugees are not handling their new situation well.
Qrow = acceptance: Qrow is Winter's opposite, as he is the closest to find acceptance. On a personal level, he shows he has integrated with Clover. He has embraced his friend's optimism and has learnt to love himself through him. This is why his semblance evolved and he is now able to bring both good and bad luck. This new found balance lets him find hope even in the bad situation the world is in. He sees how people are showing kindness and realizes Ruby's message is the first step into uniting Remnant.
Of course, our five narrators all foil each other in different ways. I have discussed Qrow and Winter here, so let's see what to say about Nora, Ren and Oscar.
RENORA = LONELY TOGETHER
Nora and Ren are going through an inversion of their dynamic. Nora is now repressing her feelings and avoiding Ren's attentions and offers of support. Ren instead is grieving openly and is trying to be open with his feelings.
Nora isn't even able to speak directly with the person she lost, but narrates talking to no-one in particular. She mostly speaks about the macrochosm and uses plural forms. "We buried our friends", "I think everyone lost someone that day", "For us it was a relief, but for the Vacuans", ""What if we can't go on, what if we are too scarred?". She is in a sense the embodyment of everyone's grief. At the same time, she is so disconnected from her own trauma, that she can only read it while projecting it on the world:
Ren: Nora, she is putting the world on her shoulders.
Ren instead is the one more focused on the feelings of the people around him. Through his point of view, we discover how the other main characters are doing. We realize Nora is too focused on the macrochosm, while Oscar has trouble with the microchosm (he just isn't himself). Ren is trying to balance out the two dimensions. He is grieving for Jaune and is inheriting his legacy. At the same time, he understands that just like his friends are fighting to overcome anger and pain, so is the world. By doing this, he once again draws a parallel between Nora and the World:
I think the epilogue of volume 9 (or the prologue of volume 10?) sets up Nora as a strong symbolic character in Vacuo. She is Vacuo itself, struggling with pain, grief and anger. She is Atlesian orphans, nameless children too scarred to go on. Ren's role will probably be to step in and remind her how beautiful she is.
OSCAR = STAGNATION
Oscar's conflict permeates both the microchom and the macrochosm. It is synthesized by this phrase:
Oscar: "You always believed in the best. You saw people for who they really were. Some of us don't know anymore."
Here, Oscar is speaking both:
Of himself, who is slowly and painfully merging with Ozpin
Of the world, which finds itself in "uncharted territory"
Oscar is uncertain. Of who he is. Of what to do. So, he looks up to Ruby, who was always certain and could "see the world through better eyes".
At the same time, Oscar's situation strongly suggests he is stagnating. He refuses to accept RWBYJ's death (he is right, but it isn't a healthy reaction). He fights the merge unsuccessfully. He can neither go back to the person he was before nor can he progress towards a better version of himself. Basically, just as Ruby is finding the path back to herself in the Ever After, Oscar is losing himself in Vacuo. This is (just like in Renora's case) an inversion to their previous dynamic. Back in Atlas, Oscar was the one progressing, whereas Ruby was stagnating. Right now, they start their stories in Vacuo in an inversed situation.
OTHER POSSIBLE FOILINGS
Of course, the epilogue/prologue offers several possible foilings that could be explored in volume 10. Here are some (but they aren't all).
Ren and Winter are both talking to the "sibling" they entered a conflict with in volume 8. Both grew distant from Jaune and Weiss, only to reconcile later on. Now, they realize how much Jaune and Weiss did to keep their respective families together. They celebrate their legacies and wonder if they might be able to live up to it. This might also foreshadow some foiling of Jaune and Weiss themselves, once they come back.
Qrow and Oscar are both talking to Ruby (to be fair, Qrow speaks to everyone, but thematically Ruby is her interlocutor). However, Qrow has managed to integrate (with Clover), while Oscar fights integration (with Ozpin (understandably so)). At the same time, Qrow focuses on how Ruby has changed the world, whereas Oscar focuses on how Ruby has changed him.
Nora and Qrow open and end the epilogue. Nora is the one who struggles to grieve the most (she is the only one who never visits the memorial, after the cerimony). She insists she must move on, but also wonders if she will ever be able to. Qrow instead is the one who deals the best with the situation. He finds serenity while at the memorial and grieves in a hopeful way thanks to the murales realized by the community. Both are very involved with helping people and the refugees. Nora is shown helping children and states she wants to help Velvet before eating herself. Qrow keeps going into meetings with Theodore, he spends time with Robyn and the kids and helps the Schnees giving out free food. Still, Nora is clearly wearing herself out, whereas Qrow genuinelly finds hope and energy. Nora is symbolically one of the orphans trying to carry the world. Qrow is instead a mentor, who has learnt he doesn't have to face the world alone.
OTHER THOUGHTS
Happy to see the Crown. I think Jill and Jax have the potential to foil Emercury to an extent, so I am happy to see them (it's them, right?) with Merc. It is also something I had always thought that Tyrian and Mercury's mission to Vacuo might have been to find some new allies there. The Crown were the obvious choice.
I feel neutral about team CFVY appearing so much in the epilogue. My guess is that they are set up to be minor foils to RWBY, kind of like the Happy Huntresses and the Ace Ops were in Atlas. I think the books give them enough set-up to solve their arc in a quick way, while commenting on those of the main characters.
I was surprised about the revelation of Salem attacking Vale. I wonder if she found the crown. I doubt it, so far and I think Glynda missing is clearly set-up as a future plot-point. In any case, we'll see. I am open to everything.
#rwby#rwby volume 9#greenlight volume 10#rwby volume 10#nora valkyrie#oscar pine#lie ren#winter schnee#qrow branwen#rwby meta#my meta
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I guess I'm running the risk of sounding like a broken record at this point, but I don't think I'll ever not be deeply depressed by the way so many people on here talk about Joyce Summers.
I mean, I'm just thinking out loud here, but. Maybe the reason that Giles was much more immediately accepting of Buffy's identity as the Slayer than Joyce was might have something to do with the fact that Giles has been training to be a Watcher for over three decades when he first meets Buffy? That his family sat him down and explained to him that vampires were real when he was a child, and that he's had over thirty years to get used to that fact? And that he is in fact literally paid to train Buffy and mentor her and prepare her for being killed in the Cruciamentum after she turns eighteen and he helps rob her of her powers her destiny?
Whereas Joyce learns about the reality of vampires and Slayers and the supernatural for the very first time while in a state of extreme emotional distress, only hours after discovering that her daughter is wanted by the police for murder, and in circumstances such that Buffy simply has no time to sit her down and explain things in more detail in the manner they would both want? Which is a turn of events that can be attributed in large part to the fact that Giles himself repeatedly told Buffy that she couldn't possibly tell her mother about vampires, even after (1) a vampire attacked her in her own home (in Season 1's Angel) and even after (2) the vampire Buffy had been dating, who had a standing invitation into her house, lost his soul and started going after the people closest to her, people explicitly including Joyce. (And note that Giles never offers a better argument for not sharing this potentially life-saving information than Xander's "the more people who know the secret the more it cheapens it for the rest of us".)
I mean, I know you're all pretty wedded to the popular competing theory that it's because *checks notes* Giles is a perfect dad who Buffy should have been much more grateful and sympathetic towards while Joyce is an evil bitch who never once did a good thing for her daughter (and Buffy must be stupid for ever thinking or saying otherwise), but the problem is that that theory is … uh, bad, actually. Really incredibly cartoonishly bad. And dressing it up in pseudo-progressive language doesn't make it any better.
Wringing your hands over how poorly you think the show writes middle-aged women as if there's simply nothing to be done about it except conclude that they are indeed horrible people (and maybe give them some completely new flaws the show never did), while at the same time you write endless hagiographies and apologia for the show's canonically terrible (and often just as badly under-written) men is definitely a choice though.
And yes, it is definitely true that Giles matters more to the story of Buffy the Vampire Slayer than Joyce does. It is clear that the writers care about him more as a character than they care about Joyce, and that he is consistently used in a metaphorical way that Joyce normally isn't. At best you can perhaps argue that Joyce exists to vocalize and reify Buffy's own lingering desires to be seen as respectable and 'normal', but I don't think this is a reading the show ever commits to in the systematic way it does the Mind/Heart/Spirit reading of Giles/Xander/Willow. But on a less metaphorical level, thinking about the different characters of the show purely as distinct people in their own right, nothing Buffy says or does ever suggests she cares about her relationship with Giles more than her relationship with Joyce. Quite the opposite, in fact.
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Takemichi HC's
A/N ::: Hi all. I haven't written anything for so fucking long and it's depressing tf outta me. Ok, so, I haven't written ON HERE. I have written on stupid notebook paper but that's so bleh. Idk. But today while I was on breaks and lunch, I wrote this. I hope you all like something about it. Enjoy, sweets!!
C/W ::: Spoiling Takemichi. MDNI after the cut. Please & thank you.
Takemichi can't help but enter certain kind of space when you're spoiling him.
But he's sure he doesn't deserve such focused treatment.
And when you convince him to fucking relax and enjoy this, he's immediately asking you if you're buttering him up for something.
When he's fully on board with you giving him all of your attention, that's when things turn noisy.
Takemichi is A MOANER. A WHINER. And sometimes, A CRIER.
And sometimes, it seems like no amount of you telling him what a good boy he's being for you will convince him otherwise.
He tries to lay as still as he can.
To be as patient as his overstimulated dick brain will allow him to be at a time like this.
But oh, how he wants to move.
Needs to move, before he loses his mind.
His eyes flutter shut when you reach over to touch his face, and the warmth of your skin on his cheek is almost too much.
He lets out a whine that's just a little too loud and you chuckle at him in response.
But you're not done with him yet.
Not even close.
You've barely even begun to worship his body, and he's already falling apart.
He wonders if this is what it's like to be worshipped.
And as you continue to touch him, to caress and stroke and nuzzle him, he starts to understand what it means to be adored.
To be cherished.
He doesn't know how much longer he can last.
His breath hitches in his throat, and he feels like he's drowning in pleasure.
In a way, he's been drowning for a long time.
And you've given him a life raft, a reason to float.
To tread this metaphorical water for just a little bit longer.
He never wants this moment to end.
Never wants to feel anything but your hands on him.
Your mouth, your tongue, your lips.
He craves it.
He doesn't want to come back down.
Not yet.
He wants to stay in this bubble of bliss with you.
Just a little bit longer.
He doesn't know how long he lasts.
Seconds? Minutes? Hours?
It feels like an eternity, but he knows it's only a few minutes.
He can barely hold himself together.
And when he finally climaxes, he feels more colorful than a 4th of July fireworks show.
Like he's coming undone.
Like he's completely unraveled.
But you're there to catch him.
To hold him close.
To whisper sweet nothings in his ear and tell him how good he was for you.
How precious and loved and special he is.
How you wish you could keep him like this forever.
You kiss his forehead and rub his back, and he feels like he's king of the world.
Even if it is just your world - that's all he needs.
@trevengersprincess @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82 @viburnt @southside-otaku
#tokyo revengers#tokrev#tokyo rev#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo rev smut#tokrev smut#takemichi smut#takemichi hanagaki#hanagaki takemichi#tokyo revengers takemichi#tokyo revengers x reader#tokrev x reader#tokrev x you#takemichi x reader#takemichi x you#takemichi x y/n#tokyo revengers x you#tokyo revengers x y/n#hanagaki takemichi x reader#takemichi
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Hello, Sunset - 6
AN: This is my longest chapter to date. I really suck at writing dialogue, which is just my real life awkward self presenting in fiction. I would love to hear what people think about this chapter or just the story in general. Need some inspiration as I'm stuck on the next chapter. The writing gods have left me and there's a metaphorical brick wall between my ideas and the blank Google doc ...
PAIRING: Seungcheol x fem!reader
GENRE: exes to lovers, idol verse, angst
WORD COUNT: 4,650
WARNINGS: reader has anxiety and depression, swearing, mentions of alcohol
Text in blue is spoken in Korean.
PREVIOUS / NEXT
1 December 2023 - 6 January 2024
There wasn’t really any time for melancholy, not for Y/N. She wanted to wistfully brood about her 10 days in Asia and play the nostalgic CARAT post concert, but the end of the year was relentless. Y/N travelled back to Tokyo the very next day to catch her flight home to London. She used the weekend to reset her body clock and catch up on her emails before she was back at the office on Monday.
By the time she landed in London, her episode on Amazing Saturday had already aired. She didn’t think the episode would have a huge audience. She had hoped to make an impression on the Korean audience but wasn’t expecting to suddenly be trending on Naver or anything. She had turned off the airplane mode on her phone whilst briskly making her way through the long route from the gate to baggage collection. It was a good thing her phone was silent as suddenly the notifications piled up. She opened up Instagram first as that’s where the most notifications were from and saw that Josua had tagged her on a post.
It was the second time he’d done that since they had met back in September. Then, it had been a picture they had posed together for a magazine at the Marni show. This time, it was a clip of her getting the one shot for getting the most accurate answer for the God of Music quiz. He’d captioned it to say ‘Thank you for answering SVT’s quiz, Y/N’. The post had thousands of likes already, including fellow SEVENTEEN members such as S.Coups, Seungkwan and Vernon. Her followers on Instagram had also increased, she guessed as a natural effect from this interaction. She was following Joshua already so she liked the picture and closed the app, too tired to think about her actions or do anything more.
The click clacks of her heels echoed as she walked the short distance from her cabin to the one of the Global HR Director and her line manager, David. Unlike the confident sounds of her footsteps, Y/N felt timid as she opened the door to his office once he beckoned her to come in through the glass windows of his office. David was not someone to mince his words or beat around the bush, especially as someone as busy and senior as he was in such a huge corporation.
Y/N walked out of his office thirty minutes later with relief. She’d need to talk to Sian and Emma first before she officially accepted his offer but she thought this was the best option for everyone without Y/N having to give up her career in HR completely. Her decision was solidified as she received positive response to her various promotion activities in Korea as they came out on broadcast and YouTube over the next few days. Sian and Emma began to receive interest from Korean shows and entertainment companies. The questions varied from whether she was interested in appearing on more shows to her plans on promoting in Korea and needing a local agency to support her promotions to even writing music for idol groups. Eun Ji was ecstatic at the idea of her living in Seoul and declared that Y/N would live with her. When she ran through her doubts of the move, Joshua reassured her as someone who had taken the same leap. Vernon and Seungkwan, who Y/N kept in touch with regularly since meeting them a few weeks ago, promised to visit her regularly so she wouldn’t be lonely.
By the time her slot at the Jingle Bell Ball was over a week later, Y/N felt fully confident in her decision to resign from her job in the UK and take the consultancy role. It offered her more flexibility whilst still allowing her to keep putting to use the qualification and skills she had developed over the past seven years. Her first focus would be working with regional leads in Japan and South Korea to support the planned restructures and optimise the local operations. She would be assessing the situation, proposing a solution and would oversee the implementation of it when it is accepted but won’t be the person delivering the change. She was actually excited to step out of her comfort zone and expand her experience further by dipping her toes into consultancy whilst putting to use her language skills in another country. It honestly felt like an offer too good to be true. It also gave Y/N time to prepare for her EP release that had been planned for the end of the summer and her European Tour that would kick off in the autumn of 2024. She hoped she would get lots of inspiration to write in the new environment.
Things moved quickly once she accepted David’s offer. A flat in Hannam-dong in Yongsan had been leased under her name by Emma. Whilst her company had offered to organise this for her, she had preferred to find a place that suited her specific needs and had negotiated with David so the company would contribute a fixed amount to the rent instead. David put her negotiation skills to the test but Y/N thought she handled it quite well. She had a decent deal by the end. She spent the next few weeks saying a temporary goodbye to her life in London, catching up with friends in between her end of year performance schedule. She’d gone from the one watching the countdown to NYE on BBC to the one people watched performing as the country counted down to the dawn of a new year. A few days later, she was back on a plane to Incheon, this time on her own. Emma wouldn’t be joining her in Seoul but would be making plenty of visits as needed. W Music had a partner in Seoul who would organise any assistance Y/N needed. Y/N leaned her seat back and gazed out of the window, taking a sip of the red wine the stewardess handed her earlier. She hoped 2024 would be a year to remember.
Current
Y/N had gone to bed immediately after her bath. The fight or flight response in her body had slowly disappeared until all that was left was exhaustion. She had dragged herself from the bathroom to her bedroom, not going through any of her night time routine but falling straight into bed instead. The blackout blinds in her room hid the world from her and equally hid her from the world from her. It was the Bank Holiday Monday so she had allowed herself to lie in and when she checked the digital clock on her bedside table once she arose from her deep slumber, she saw it was close to 11am. She decided it was time to face the world and couldn’t hide any longer.
“Alexa, open the blinds.” The automated blinds came to life and with a soft whirring noise, it let the sunlight into the spacious cream coloured room. Closing her eyes briefly to allow them a relief from the bright rays, she patted around the bed for her phone. When her attempts were fruitless, she sighed in defeat before getting out of bed to look around the room for it. Not seeing it anywhere, she slid her feet onto her soft slippers and moved to the living room. She had success as she found it face up on the sofa. She tapped on the screen to bring it to life but it didn’t work. Letting out a groan, realising the phone had run out of battery, she moved to the kitchen island and planted her phone on top of the wireless charger. Leaving it to collect power so she could turn it on, she used the time to make her morning smoothie.
Ten minutes later, she sat on one of the high stools by her kitchen island with a large glass of avocado and banana smoothie. She turned the phone on, making sure to keep it on the wireless charger. She saw that she had missed calls and clicked on the Phone app to see who had tried to get in touch. Some were older notifications she had dismissed like the missed calls from Sian and Emma. There were also recent missed calls from Rachel, Eun Ji and Joshua. Joshua didn’t normally call so she assumed he was concerned about her non-reply.
As she wondered if it was finally time to grow up and call Joshua, her phone began to ring. It was an unsaved number but Y/N recognised it straight away. It was an incoming call from SEVENTEEN’s main Manager, Shim Jae Hyun. He’d been the first person she’d spoken to after Seungcheol had sent her the text to break up and blocked her number immediately after. Y/N could still remember the pity in his voice as he’d told her that Seungcheol had informed him of the breakup, and had asked that Y/N not contact anyone related to himself. Y/N had responded with a distressed ‘I understand’ and had immediately cut the call.
Since then, she hadn’t spoken to anyone related to Seungcheol, including the members. Some of the members, particularly Vernon and Seungkwan, had tried to speak to her when they became aware of the break up but she’d already blocked them. The only remaining connection was Joshua and even then, she didn’t pick up or answer his calls. They hadn’t spoken since the day before the break up, when Y/N had called him from the airport to confirm she’s boarding and to ask him to check in on Seungcheol. Despite his persistent attempts, Y/N hadn’t spoken to Joshua since that day. He eventually gave up and stopped calling her and would send the occasional texts to see how she was, which she would read but not respond to. Seeing the two ticks to show she was reading it was good enough for him. It’s what he’d pleaded for her to do at the very least.
She assumed Jae Hyun-nim was calling due to the statement that had been published. She let the call go to voicemail and instead took a screenshot with his number displayed and sent it off to Emma and Sian, knowing one of them would contact him. She didn’t want to have a dialogue with PLEDIS or HYBE and Sian had stressed that everything should go through her or Emma. She put the phone back on the charging pad and returned to her room to pack her bag, knowing she had a flight to NYC that evening. Lily, Sian’s first assistant since Emma’s official promotion a year ago, had sent over the flight ticket details as well as some outfit options for Y/N to choose from her various interviews in NYC. Lily would organise it so any of the outfits Y/N selects would be delivered to the JW Marriott Essex House hotel in Upper East Side, where she would be staying this time. Normally, would have a longer visit and so would have gone for one of their long stay apartments but the impromptu plans meant she would be staying in one of Marriott’s hotels instead. The next few hours passed in a blur and Y/N found herself once again on a plane.
25 January 2024
The black Porsche Cayenne lit up as the engine turned on. The car was a Christmas present to herself and she’d be paying it off for the next few years but Y/N was in love. She loved driving and one of the first things she organised was to ship her car to Seoul as soon as she decided on her move and yet, it only arrived a few days ago. Y/N was excited to take the car for a spin, having been taking taxis whenever she needed to leave her flat. She’d spent the first week in Seoul setting up the place whilst staying with Eun Ji and had to then relearn her bearings when she officially moved in. The three weeks since landing in Seoul had been tremendously busy and Y/N was excited to have a night to relax and catch up with a friend. Joshua had returned to the country only a few days ago after wrapping up the last concert of the Follow Tour in Macau. The two had been keeping each other up to date on life but it wasn’t the same as talking in person. Their last meeting hadn’t been the personal catch up they had originally planned for so to have some time together where they could speak more openly was much needed.
Y/N arrived first at the Mexican restaurant in Itaewon and had immediately ordered some nachos for the pair to munch on whilst they caught up and debated what to order. She’d just taken a sip of her virgin Pina Colada when Joshua walked in. Y/N enveloped Joshua in a warm hug, and they stayed in the embrace for a few seconds, soaking in the comfort they gave each other. As they parted, Joshua grasped Y/N’s right hand tightly and shook it in excitement.
“I can’t believe you’re now living in Seoul!”
“Me neither, Joshie!”
He looked at her tenderly before letting go of her hand to ruffle her hair as usual. She’d given up dodging this move, knowing that it was his way of showing affection. She grinned at him, the smile stretching across her face all the way to her eyes which had shrunk to accommodate the happy expression. A waiter arrived with their nachos and the pair took their seats. Joshua ordered a Margarita. They spent the next hour catching up candidly with no inhibitions in between taking sips of their drinks and crunching on the nachos. They’d ordered more drinks and food, Y/N choosing to stay sober as she didn’t trust a stranger to drive her car. It was another thing for her to become accustomed to in time but she wasn’t quite ready for that yet.
Joshua was feeling light, having let off a load from his shoulders. He’d met Y/N at a time when he really needed a friend who was removed from his world but would yet understand his trials. They were less than six months apart in age but often, he felt she was the older one and by many years. Maybe it came from their different life journeys. They’d both had their own challenges to overcome and different demons to fight. She saw him so clearly that he often felt she was his soulmate, like a twin who shared the same heart and mind. Their closeness after such a short period led to misconceptions initially, even from his bandmates. He’d been asked if they were dating, Coups being the latest one to quiz him on this when he’d shared his plans to meet Y/N. Joshua shared this anecdote with Y/N, laughing without restraint at the idea. Y/N looked disgusted at the idea, wondering what was wrong with everyone. She begged Joshua to make sure he set everyone straight.
“Don’t worry, I told him you’re like a sister. Your bias won’t have the wrong idea, so don’t hurt your pea brain worrying.”
She glared at the teasing, huffing at the elder.
“Who’s the pea brain here! I’m not the one who mistranslated that time we were out …”
The banter continued, the two bickering away, fully immersed in their own world. It was nearing 9pm when Joshua received a call.
“Coups-yah. What’s up? Me? I’m in XXX restaurant in Itaewon with Y/N. Oh, you’re nearby?”
Joshua looked at Y/N with a sly smile as he hung up on the phone. Y/N was immediately on alert.
“What have you done, Hong Jisoo?”
“Where are your manners? It’s Jisoo Oppa!”
“Pfft. Manners, my ass. I know you’ve done something that’s about to piss me off. Out with it, Joshie. Don’t test my kindness.”
He shrugged and put on an innocent look, widening his eyes and shaking his head, saying he had no idea what she was talking about. She threw a fry at his face, unfortunately missing the mark widely. This made Joshua crack up in giggles and Y/N reluctantly joined in, unable to hold on to her irritation. Y/N was going to suggest that they call it a night and head home when the bell by the door jingled. Joshua, who was facing the door, stuck his neck out to see who it was and his eyes lit up in recognition. He waved his hand at the newcomer and Y/N twisted in her seat to see who it was. It was S.Coups and with him was Jeonghan.
“Did you miss me that much? You saw me only a few hours ago when we did the Weverse live.”
Joshua said to S.Coups as the 95 liners reunited in front of Y/N. The waitress arrived and relocated them to a bigger table at the back, hiding them away from the rest of the customers. As they all took their new seats, Y/N bowed at Jeonghan and S.Coups and greeted them. She asked after their health and asked if they’d eaten. S.Coups, who was sitting opposite her, nodded whilst Jeonghan responded, “Coups bought me an expensive dinner. I wanted to go home and rest afterwards but this guy-”
Before Jeonghan could finish his sentence, S.Coups began speaking. He asked about her move and if she was properly settled in her flat.
Y/N was surprised he knew the details and it must have shown on her face, as he felt the need to clarify that he’d heard from Shua. When she looked at Joshua, he had a devious smirk on his face.
“I didn’t know you paid so much attention to what I say, Coups-yah. Jeonghan-ah, did you know Coups paid this much attention to me?”
Jeonghan, who suddenly looked wide awake, seemed to have caught on to whatever track Joshua was on and enthusiastically exclaimed, “I didn’t know either, Joshuji. I don’t remember you telling us about Y/N’s move and this is my first time seeing you since you came back.”
Turning to his left, he questioned when S.Coups had heard the news. Y/N was a little perplexed about this entire conversation. She didn’t understand why it was such a big deal but she did realise that the angel, who was really a devil in disguise when he was up to his tricks, and his best friend were on the same page and up to something. It seemed that S.Coups had also sensed the danger and looked panic for a second before saying that it might have been Vernon who mentioned it, he couldn’t remember.
Feeling sorry for the man in front of her as he pouted, she decided to answer his question to move the conversation along.
“I’ve just about settled in and I was saying to Josh earlier that my car finally arrived so I feel like I’m finally set. I’m about to abandon all of it for two weeks though. I’ll be in Japan travelling to Tokyo, Sapporo and Okinawa for work from Monday onwards.”
S.Coups nodded again at her and gave her a thousand watts thankful smile. Y/N felt her heart stutter like her old car used to whenever she’d try to speed and the sem-automatic would whine as it stayed stuck in the lower gear. His smile was too blinding and Y/N had to avert her gaze to her glass, fiddling with the stem of it as she tried her best to calm the flutters.
“Oh, you didn’t tell me you were flying out so soon! We’re on holiday for the next few weeks so I thought I could show you all my favourite places.”
Joshua was disappointed at the missed opportunity. Y/N reassured him they had plenty of time and that she’d be back on the 10th. The group enjoyed a few more drinks and Y/N slowly loosened up as she got used to the presence of the others. She didn’t see Joshua as a member of SEVENTEEN on most days. To her, he’d become family and so she didn’t get the nervousness that she got in the presence of the rest of the members. Yoon Jeonghan was too beautiful to be real and it was intimidating.
And then there was S.Coups. Well, no explanation was really needed here. This was someone she admired and found attractive. It was just a celebrity crush, she’d thought. Although she had her head screwed on and knew what she saw wasn’t a full picture of any celebrity, with S.Coups, so much of it was real. She’d gotten to know him through Joshua and the couple of interactions they did have, she’d felt sparks. She knew it was all one-sided and with time, she’d get over it. But right now, she couldn’t be sensible about it. It was the way he would stare deeply into her eyes when she spoke giving his full attention, or the way he’d poured her a glass of water when he noticed her glass was empty, or even how the corners of his mouth would twitch in amusement whenever he caught her sneaking glances at him as Jeonghan told a funny story. She was deeply attracted to the man in front of her. His tight black t-shirt and rich perfume pulled her in. When she caught herself leaning forward one too many times, she knew it was time to go home. She pulled the typical I’m-going-to-freshen-up-but-really-pay-the-bill act and found herself scolded by a whiny Joshua as they all walked her to her car.
She saw the tired, droopy frame of Jeonghan and told them all to get in, saying she’d drop them off. They tried to refuse the offer but Jeonghan must have been really tired because he got in quickly after thanking Y/N. Joshua sat upfront and inputted the address for the dorm.
“Coups-yah, are you going to stay at the dorm tonight?”
It took a beat for S.Coups to answer and the others realised he’d wanted to return to the place he shared with his brother. He said he’d call a taxi from the dorm.
“I can drop you off, I really don’t mind.”
Y/N turned into the apartment complex that housed SEVENTEEN members. Joshua and Jeonghan got out of the car and S.Coups followed. He seemed to have a non-verbal conversation with Joshua before he turned back to Y/N and asked if she was sure. She nodded and smiled gently in response.
He lightly hugged the members goodnight before getting back in the car, this time in the front seat. Joshua called out for her to text him when she got home safely and then headed in.
“And then there were two.”
“Sorry?”
“Oh, sorry. It’s a phrase in English that people would usually say when a big group would suddenly get smaller.”
She explained as she manoeuvred out of her parking spot. She pulled off and started driving towards the main road as S.Coups set the navigation to direct her to his brother’s place. It was a 20 minute drive and Y/N told herself she can behave for that long. They drove in silence that had started off comfortable but soon became filled with tension till it was stifling. She cleared her throat and suggested that S.Coups put on music if he’d like.
“You can turn on the radio or you can use my Spotify. My phone is connected via Bluetooth.”
She quickly unlocked it with her fingerprint and gestured for him to take it. He’d looked slightly stunned at her nonchalance as she gave him access to her phone. He timidly took the phone from the stand it was resting on and scrolled through the app. In the meantime, it began to play from where she’d left off earlier. Red Velvet described the throes of a crush and the longing to greet them again through the song ‘Hello, Sunset’ and Y/N blushed as she listened on. How fitting that this is the song that plays, she thought. She saw him tap along to the music as he scrolled through her phone. Their journey was elongating thanks to the traffic that was building up as the Saturday night deepened. As the song drew to a close, he tapped on the song he’d searched for and Dino’s voice blasted through the speakers. How cute, she thought as she realised he’d chosen to listen to the maknae’s mixtape, ‘Wait’. He bobbed his head along as they listened. The car had come to a standstill in front of the traffic.
“I really love this song.”
“Yes, maknae did a good job.” The pride in his voice was clear. She hummed in agreement.
“I’m sorry. Because of me, you’re delayed.”
He apologised suddenly and Y/N found herself lost in his intense stare again when she'd looked at him to respond. She inaudibly mumbled that it wasn’t a problem and that she’s going the same way. It was as if her ears had popped, all noise surrounding them dampened whilst the sound of her heartbeat grew thunderous. She couldn’t even blink, worried he’d disappear if she closed her eyes for a second. He lowered his eyes, breaking the hold on her briefly as they dipped down to her lips before returning to arrest her again. He held her breath as a prisoner. Was she imagining it or was the distance between them slowly narrowing? She had no thoughts. Her brain simply wasn’t functioning to think if this was a good idea or not. Their noses were nearly brushing when they jumped apart when the car behind honked its horn. Y/N realised the queue had eased and quickly put the car in motion. S.Coups turned to look outside the side window, his expression hidden from Y/N when she tried to take a glimpse.
They arrived at S.Coups’ place a few minutes later. Tablo’s version of ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’ played in the background as both occupants of the car stalled, not sure whether to mention the moment shared earlier. In the end, both had decided to ignore it. S.Coups thanked Y/N for the lift. He’d gotten out of the car and walked around to her side, leaning down to speak to her. A breeze sent her a whiff of his perfume again.
“Well … thanks again.” Y/N smiled but didn’t say anything.
“I should get going. I mean, you should get going. It’s late.”
She nodded and bowed at him to take leave from the driver’s seat. She was about to roll up her windows when he called her name. With no formalities. The butterflies instantly multiplied.
“Y/N. Text me to say you’ve made it home?” It was a question but it wasn’t. She nodded, slowly then quickly.
“I saved my number on your phone. I, uh, I didn’t send myself your number.”
Who was this shy man? Was he the same person with the deep voice and passionate eyes?
“Sleep well.”
Y/N placed her keys in the enamel dish by the entrance, took off her boots and walked to her room. She texted Joshua to confirm she’d made it and wished him a goodnight. She paused for a second before she searched through her contacts. She found the newly saved number under Coups.
Saturday 27 January
Hi, it’s Y/N.
I made it home safely.
Have a good night.
23:20
Goodnight.
23:21
A week later, Y/N was getting ready for her first date with S.Coups.
#caratsland#seventeen#seventeen fic#seventeen x reader#s.coups#seungcheol x reader#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen fluff#svt#svt x reader#svt imagines#s.coups x reader#s.coups imagines#s.coups scenarios#choi seungcheol#my writing#hello sunset
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|| How to give the Genshin boys affection
Cuz we all need it smh.
Just some fluff hcs. Also my first post ever! Congratulate me by following and giving me validation!
Warnings: Spellchecked by Grammarly
Characters mentioned: Zhongli, Childe, Wanderer, Venti, Albedo
||𝐙𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢 - 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
If ya really like Zhongli, the best way to show it is just by purely listening. When you've seen everything after so many years with no one to talk to about it, sometimes the wounds of what happened never go away. He doesn't really recount the old days with you. He doesn't want to seem as much like a grandpa with his lover, which is understandable. So you kinda have to initiate it first. And that's fairly easy! Just ask a simple question about the history of something random in Teyvat, and he'll tell you everything you asked and much more on the subject. After you get into a routine of him talking and you listening to his stories, you won't even have to ask to hear them. He'll just absent-mindedly tell you about his experiences. Sometimes they're short, sometimes they go on for hours. You don't mind, though. It always feels like you have all the time in the world with Zhongli. Sometimes, he'd go over a sad bit in his stories, and he'd hesitate. If it's too depressing for him, then surely it would be for you as well. To combat this, just simply tell him you want to hear the rest of his story, and he'll fold just like that. He'll end up telling you everything he saw, and maybe a lot more than you expected. Either way, you're there to listen through it all, comforting him occasionally. He'll surprise himself with how much he exposed himself in front of you and after he feels like he talked your ear off enough, he'll excuse himself with an embarrassed look on his face and stop his story time for the day. But as the days pass, you'll learn a bit about Zhongli more than he even thought he knew about himself. And by some strange occurrence, he'll run out of stories from his old archon days, and the two of you will only have the memories you made together to reminisce on.
||𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢 - 𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
Your beloved Venti makes it harder for you to be the affectionate one, really. He's extremely clingy and likes to display that you're his whenever you're around people, often by holding onto your arm and kissing your hand. He's also a major tease and constantly leaves you blushing, whether it be from his kisses or his weird poetic metaphors that no one would get except you and him. So yeah, he has you beat on the affectionate partner. But that doesn't mean you have to give up entirely! In fact, Venti likes to encourage you to try and make him swoon... Although, it usually ends up with you being the embarrassed one and him being amused. And after your few failures at making his heart skip a beat, you figured out the most efficient way to make him blush is by utilizing the element of surprise! Venti least expects affection from you during his time of focus. And that'd be right before one of his public performances. Of course, it's a little bit mean to catch him off guard with a kiss right before he's about to perform, but you find he's the most reactive them. Especially when he's lost in thought beforehand, and you just happen to give him a kiss on the forehead to get his attention. Your sudden boldness may throw him off for a minute, but he'll be fine. In fact, he'll take it as a sign for him to do his best and may expect an even bigger reward from you after his songs. And although he considers the moments when he's the flustered ones to be a reward, he must not like being beat by you as the affectionate one. Because you've found that after your little stunts with him, you always managed to be the one dying from embarrassment afterward because Venti is a fan of payback. He'll give you so many various displays of affection all in one day... and in front of so many people, too. Teasing him may be fun, but in the end, your heart might not be built to handle the consequences of it afterwards.
||𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 - 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞
It's kinda hard to get a strong reaction out of Albedo. It's not like he feels nothing for you of course! He's just naturally composed. So it's a bit hard to pinpoint what makes his heart race. But rest assured, it does. He's just very good at hiding it in order to get the most reactions out of you. After careful observation, you found that most of your methods to woo him were futile. He was just too good at being calm! Frustrated, you just resort back to what you usually do. Sit down near the fire and watch Albedo sketch. You ramble about your day, Albedo showing that he's listening by giving occasional replies or nods. And time just seems to pass like that, the two of you coexisting peacefully. And after some time, you do notice that you have successfully made his heart race when you look up to see a faint blush cover his face. That did seem to be the ultimate form of affection for Albedo. Having you exist with him. The simple moments where you ramble, he listens, or you're both in silence enjoying each other's company. The idea of simply having you by his side forevermore is enough to make him giddy. So do him a favor and set time from your busy schedule to be with Albedo, and you'll have managed to make him the happiest man in the world.
||𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐫 - 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
So you wanna show this lil wander over yonder shortie that you appreciate him? That's gonna be a hard one. Bro's got more emotional baggage than a therapist on an airplane. But in all seriousness, he really isn't the type to show affection or expect to receive any in return, which often makes him seem much more distant than he wants to be. That's kinda why he cherishes the relationship he has with you the most. You give him the time to be able to feel loved, which isn't what many have given him. And although he acts like he doesn't want it, you know that a lot of love is what he needs. You show your affection to him in a lot of small ways and tiny services. He notices it, of course, and every time you do so, you can always see the faintest of blush dusting over his cheeks. Sometimes, he doesn't say much. No playful insults or anything of the sort. And on those days, you find that the best way to show that you love him is through a hug. A hug that he may try to push you away from, but one that you don't let go of until he eventually opens up and lets out the cry that he needs to cry into your shoulder. You'll hold him even after he's done, and he'll always hug you back, and the two of you would stay like that for hours. It doesn't happen much. Or really ever. And that's fine with you. You've learned to deal with his silence when it's needed. But in the end, you know that there will always be a time when he'll truly open up to you. And even though it might be infuriating, your patience with him is something he'll always treasure.
||𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 - 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞
He likes to think he's some sort of a mystery to you, but it'll be the exact opposite between you two. He doesn't like to admit it, but you can read him like a book. Sure, he tends to be the more PDA one in the relationship, but that doesn't mean you're lagging by any means. In fact, only you know ways to get Childe so flustered than he could ever hope to make you. Of course, he can make you blush easily with his honeycoated words, but only you know the thing that he likes to do most in the world (other than fighting people), and that would be bragging! He doesn't realize it, but he's very transparent. After winning a tough battle, the moment he sees you, he'll automatically go into detail about how heroic he was, and exaggerate the danger of it and make it seem far more interesting than it actually was. It's natural for you to give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him how great he is, but one day, you may just get curious and ask Childe to tell you more. This catches him off guard. Maybe he really doesn't have anything else to add, and he's already flaunted enough? Just kidding, there's always something else he's done that sounds cool. After a little bit of observation, you may find that the easiest way to make him turn red is to exaggerate your praise. Of course it's cheesey to anyone else that's normal, but going on and on about how great your boyfriend is and how lucky you are to have such a strong man will easily make him blush hard. And you've found that he's even cuter when he's embarrassed from your compliments. After gaining some of his composure back, he'll go back to bragging. A subtle hint to continue on with your praise. Of course, you know you shouldn't feed too much into his ego. But at the same time, Childe seems to have most of the fun. He's always trying to make you blush in various ways, and he always has a smug look of satisfaction once he's gotten a reaction from you. So there's no harm in making him blush just as hard back, is there? Either way, you're going to have too much fun teasing your harbinger boyfriend.
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x reader#genshin men x reader#gn reader#fluff#albedo#albedo x reader#venti genshin impact#venti x reader#zhongli#zhongli x reader#childe#childe x reader#cute#follow me#headcanon#hcs
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Scratch and Leadership
The season 2 episode premiere ¨The New Paranormal¨ explores the consequences of Season 1 finale ¨The Jig is Up / Molly vs The Ghost World¨. With the original Chairman getting destroyed, the Ghost World needs a new leader to fill the space that got left. Since Scratch is the ghost that ¨defeated¨ the previous ruler, he has to become the new Chairman.
In ¨The New Paranormal¨ Scratch gets tricked by the Ghost Council into becoming the new leader by having to use the chairman robes to scare the frightmares that were in the Mcgees house away. He gives the order to not cause any chaos to the ghost population, since ¨it brings trouble to him and he hates it¨. Scratch makes a deal to work with the Ghost Council considering they know how things work.
In general Scratch doesn't want anything to do with taking charge of his responsibilities in the Ghost World. He would rather do his best to avoid them or quickly be done with them and teleport back to what he was doing previously. He doesn't make much of an effort to learn how the system works nor tries to change it for the better. He feels like it is a role that was unjustly dropped into him without being able to make a choice in it.
A lot of this seems to come from Scratch feeling like he was stuck in a very repetitive job that made him miserable as human (Todd). Once he became a wraith/ghost he lost his morals of taking responsibility since it unconsciously reminded him of his depressive state when he was human. This could explain in part why Scratch avoids most of his chairman duties and responsibilities.
As the creators put it in an interview, Scratch's arc as chairman during season 2 is about this:
One of it was [that] a lot of people want to grow up and be in leadership, and something like want[ing] to be president. But then, to be president is really hard, and it takes a lot of responsibility, and you have to care about what you’re doing. So, it was sort of a little metaphor about [how] leadership is tricky, and it takes a lot of attention and care and thought.
Again, he’s the leader now, right? He’s the guy in charge, and that comes with a whole raft of responsibilities. And we’re going to see, like Bill just said, being a leader is hard, and you got to be intentional about it. And Scratch is not. And that’ll lead to disasters coming down the pike. Many of them.
Source: https://www.nerdsandbeyond.com/2023/04/01/interview-the-ghost-and-molly-mcgee-creators-bill-motz-and-bob-roth-on-what-to-expect-from-season-2/
In multiple episodes we see Scratch making questionable decisions as chairman, like avoiding his duties, making others do the work for him, causing a mess in the workplace and misusing his power.
In ¨Dance Dad Revolution¨ he tricks ghosts into cleaning the Haunty Haunts club by making it look like a fun dance instead of doing it himself. He abuses his power as chairman, ordering others to do his duties as it was a game while he goes to sleep. At the end of the episode a mess is caused that leaves the room all dirty again and he is forced to clean it up himself.
In Season 1 there has been a few episodes that show how Scratch would be pretty authoritative, if not abusive, if he decided to take his role as leader more seriously. These episodes being ¨Goat Your Own Way¨ and ¨The Internship¨. During both occasions he was giving orders because he enjoyed the power that came with it and it was a responsibility.
¨The Ghost IS Molly Mcgee¨ also shows that he could be an effective leader if he put his mind into it when he decided to take Molly's place to be charge of a play. He threatened kids with using a hammer if they didn't follow his orders, making obey him quite quickly. In this example he was doing this to help Molly and for the sake of having fun, demostrating again that he cares about leadership if he sees it as a game.
As much of a disaster Scratch is as chairman, he does make some positive changes to the Ghost World: He doesn't use the Flow of Failed Phantoms as a punishment for ghosts, instead chosing to trap them in things like dolls and canisters if they are causing trouble for others.
He does give Lord Doom, one of the most dangerous ghosts, a second chance after he got cursed to be trapped into a doll. In Necro-comicon episode he is happy that Lord Doom is doing well with his new family. In ¨Unhaunting of Brighton Video¨ he is seen helping the team dealing with Blair and her unfinished business.
He brings down the whole system of forcing ghosts to scare off humans and keep the Ghost World miserable since he doesn't feed off from misery like the original Chairman did. Ghosts now scare for fun like seen in the episode ¨Frightmares On Main Street¨. This allows them to be able to be more friendly with humans. In general he lets ghosts to have fun and be more free under his reign as long as they don't disturb other ghosts or humans.
He seems to have a lot of fans seeing in ¨The Afterlife of The Party¨ and ¨Jinx!¨. Not surprising considering he isn't as authoritative as the past Chairman and he is a lot more approachable. There is a crowd following him in ¨Jinx!¨ asking for his autograph and he gets invited to a popular ghost party in ¨The Afterlife of The Party¨.
In contrast, when the original Chairman showed up in ¨A Very Hungry Ghost¨ in the Mcgees's backyard, all ghosts disappeared, being terrified of the Chairman.
The way ghosts act around Scratch in Season 2 resembles someone meeting a celebrity rather than a leader. Makes sense because Scratch doesn't take his job seriously and uses is for the status and fame that gives him. Still, most seem to like it regardless of that.
In ¨The Afterlife of The Party¨ he lies about being sick to Geoff so he is able to go to an elite ghost party, something he wanted to do all his time as ghost. Before becoming the new chairman he was always pushed around by most of the ghosts. He was happy when he got invited to one of these popular parties for once.
Near the end of the episode he learns that the party was Geoff and Jeff's 100th anniversary of being partners. He apologizes to Geoff for lying to him and Geoff forgives him.
Scratch constanly misuses his chairman powers to throw random curses as a way to fix his problems. He uses curses to help Molly with her fears in ¨FONAA!¨ and to get a perfect day in ¨Perfect Day¨, only for the curse to end up backfiring. In ¨Alaka-Sham¨ it is shown that he used so many curses that the curse cabinet was as its fullest and, because Scratch refuses to do something about it, the cabinet ends up exploding on him and the Ghost Council and has to clean up all the mess.
There is one occasion he used this in a way that was useful: In ¨All In The Mind¨ to find why his spectral body was having bubbles all around. He and Molly went inside his own mind and found a memory that was a childhood friend that Scratch had named Adia.
In ¨All Shark No Bite¨ he learns that he can create ghost creatures using his chairman powers and they obey his commands. He accidentally created a ghost shark that he later adopts as his pet and names him ¨Sharkie¨. Sharkie appears in some episodes after that, either in his small or big form.
In spite of having many followers, there is someone that doesn't see him fit of being a chairman. That is Jinx, who was a huge fan of the previous chairman and wants things to go back the way they used to be before Scratch became the new leader.
Jinx represents someone who doesn't like the idea of losing the power she previously had in the past status quo. She enjoyed being a joy hunter and feels like Scratch stripped that away from her. She doesn't consider Scratch worthy of being the new chairman, thinking that she would be better at it instead.
As petty as Jinx is, she does has a point of Scratch being lazy and irresponsible as leader. Jinx had to explain to him how jinxes worked, something she pointed out it is a thing the chairman should know about. She acts as a constant reminder for Scratch that he isn't a good leader for the Ghost World.
All Scratch's irresponsible behaviour culminates in ¨Jinx VS The Human World¨. This episode starts with Scratch leaving the chairman robe unprotected and unguarded, which Jinx takes advantage of and steals it, using to take over the Ghost World and almost the Human World. Scratch also makes the mistakes of accidentally getting Molly captured by Jinx when they look for her in the Ghost World.
Near the end of the episode Scratch comes up with a plan to stop Jinx. He suggest others to ¨spread out joy¨ and extra feeding the sobgoblins, making them explode as result. Sharkie gets summoned by Scratch and grabs the chairman robes from Jinx. The Chens trap Jinx inside the phantom canister so she can't cause any more trouble.
The ghost celebrate Scratch as their true chairman. This leads to Scratch to reconsider things and to finally admit that he isn't a good example of a leader. He uses his powers one last time to make the chairman robe select the person they consider the ¨most worthy¨ to be the new chairman. The robe fly away, looking for a new leader.
In the end, Scratch's arc as chairman this season gives the lesson that not every person is fit to be a leader and it would be better to step down and give that role for those who would be more responsible. While Scratch did bring some good things to the Ghost World, he was incredibly lazy and didn't take the job seriously, which end up putting both worlds at risk. He gives up his status, knowing someone should be in the position instead of him.
#the ghost and molly mcgee#Tgamm#tgamm analysis#tgamm season 2#scratch mcgee#tgamm jinx#tgamm ghost council#jinx vs the human world#The new paranormal Tgamm#Tgamm Jinx! episode#The ghost IS Molly Mcgee#the afterlife of the party
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How they act in front of their crush (Hogwarts Legacy)
Poppy Sweeting 🦡
It’s not out of character for her to freeze up in the presence of other people, but this is different. Sweaty palms, glowing cheeks, stumbling over her words; it’s like she’s coming down with a bout of the flu.
Beasts trivia is the only topic she can discuss without immediately getting tongue-tied, so she mostly sticks to that for conversation fodder. Will spend a suspicious amount of time talking about mating rituals.
“Did you know that Fwoopers seduce each other with particular mating calls?” *imitates bird noises*
She tries dropping a lot of hints in the form of beast metaphors, but gets increasingly depressed when they fail to notice them. How do they not understand what she meant by Hippogriff love dances?
Natsai Onai 🦁
She doesn’t really get flustered, but she will start acting excessively nice and helpful (one oddity is that the ground suddenly seems to be littered with lost things)
“I believe you dropped this” *smiles whilst pulling out a random quill they have never seen before*
Of course her mother catches on. She will make sure they sit apart during her classes and she’ll call them to attention the minute she sees them even looking at each other, but that doesn’t stop her daughter from trying.
She loves sketching them on random pieces of parchment during other classes. Capturing their features in ink is almost therapeutic to her, allowing her to carry them with her even when they’re not physically present.
Imelda Reyes 🐍
Crushes? Pft. She doesn’t have time for them. It’s absolutely not like she loves the challenge or anything.
She’ll make them sweat buckets just like anyone else during Quidditch training, but in a way that suggests some obvious sexual tension.
“You need a tighter grip on that bat, like this” *aggressively squeezes their club wishing it was her throat*
She likes it when they don’t give in right away. Flirty looks, suggestive comments; she’ll just push them far enough until they finally break and she can devour them whole.
Ominis Gaunt 🐍
He’s usually very skilled at navigating via wand, which makes it all the more odd that he’s constantly brushing up too close against them.
“Pardon, how foolish of me” *bumps into them despite practically having the entire room to himself*
You might call him a bit of an old-fashioned romantic, so he ends up spending a lot of time writing poetry to express his feelings. Finding the right words to describe the way their voice makes him feel is the best way to enhance his ‘experience’ of them.
Sometimes, he just likes to hang back and listen to their conversations with others; he loves the sound of their laughter. (The added benefit being that he might pick up on any hints of mutual interest.)
Sebastian Sallow 🐍
Will definitely try to impress them with reckless stunts or some ominous-sounding incantation he found in an obscure book in the Restricted Section.
“Hey, watch this” *accidentally summons a demon from hell*
He won’t waste any opportunity to show off in their presence, especially during duels. Leander Prewett should be happy he isn’t a stain on the wall of the Defence Against the Dark classroom by the time he’s done.
His urge to act all macho mostly stems from a place of insecurity. Even though he doesn’t admit to it openly, he’s constantly fretting if he’s good enough for them.
Amit Thakkar 🦅
Of course, our good Ravenclaw boy wouldn’t engage in any unbecoming behaviour that would jeopardise his studies.
That said, making an extra effort to help out a fellow classmate doesn’t really count, does it?
“Allow me to help you with that” *blushes heavily when their hands touch as he’s adjusting their telescope*
Is definitely the type to do extensive research on their likes and preferences. Keeps a notebook on the things they do after school and their favourite classes to have a topic of conversation in case he has a chance to talk to them.
#hogwarts legacy#harry potter#poppy sweeting#natsai onai#imelda reyes#ominis gaunt#sebastian sallow#amit thakkar#hogwarts legacy headcanons
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Kiryuu Touga and the cyclical narrative
TW : Discussions of misogyny, emotional manipulation and abuse, sexual abuse and (sexual) child abuse. (Very vague) mention of incest.
First of all, not really as a disclaimer but more as a recommendation, a lot of my thoughts about Touga are shaped by this essay, which is definitely easily one of my favorite pieces of Utena meta. I think I'm going to implicitly or more explicitly reference it sometimes, but you don't need to read it to understand this post.
I have a complex relationship with Touga. He is despicable, yet the more I watch the series, the more I find myself... fascinated by him. This post is a pretty much a synthesis of all these thoughts.
On a purely narrative level, Touga's role is a bit special. He's the antagonist of the first arc. The three duels involving him are all turning points in the series. He's a core character in the development of several other characters (Saionji, Nanami, Utena and Miki on a different level).
Yet, turns out he's only a puppet, just as everyone else is. How surprising. And when it comes down to it, what do we know about Touga ?
He's the Student Council's president. He seemingly can't have a relationship with anyone without manipulating them to his advantage. He sleeps with any girl (and maybe not only girls) who breathe around him in a 1 ft radius. His way of coping with depression is to seal himself in a wide and totally empty room to listen to his own voice on repeat to ponder heavily on his broken hopes and ideals. (Hmm. Hardcore.)
And more importantly, he wants power. A power that would be absolute. But why so ?
And this is the point where it gets complicated.
Touga is barely the main topic of episodes focused on him. He is the center of many obsessions and interests, but it seems we never touch upon him as a person. He can be seen being vaguely vulnerable in eps 11 and 12 and then there's the whole Black Rose arc thing. But where does all this mess steam from ?
Victim status
Eps 35 and 36 are the one going deeper into Touga’s character and yet... we’re barely sure of what’s actually going on in his brain. These episodes always give me a weird feeling because we don’t really get to see Touga express his feelings very clearly or freely... We barely get to hear his thoughts.
Just like Anthy.
Don’t make me say what I didn’t say, though. Touga gets to have way more agency than ever does Anthy, and he certainly doesn't endure the same dehumanization as she does. Anthy does have agency in a way. But she expresses it in hidden, implicit ways : playing tricks, hitting people in their sore spots, sarcasm, empty eyes and fake smiles. She’s manipulative and Touga is, too. These two share many similarities, though they can’t completely blend with each other, of course.
We don’t know much about Touga’s childhood. We know he and Nanami were adopted (or “sold”) to the Kiryuu family at a young age. That’s basically it in the canon of the series. Though, Touga’s backstory in the movie, showing him being sexually abused by his adoptive father, was apparently meant to be included in the series as well :
Although the TV series touched upon Touga’s younger days, the film goes into more details – the wound of Touga that was never directly depicted. In his younger days, Touga was a normal kid who enjoyed happy times with his friend Saionji Kyouichi and his younger sister Nanami. However, he came to know his unfortunate fate from the time he was ordered by his parents to wear his hair long. His parents sold him to the Kiryuu family. Although he was an adopted son on the surface, the instinctive Touga knew what that meant. And in order to protect his younger sister, he accepted his lot. Being sold. We did not go into depicting what Touga’s parents obtained by going as far as selling their son. We would like you to think of it as a kind of metaphor.
And Touga accepted in silence the sexual abuse from his new parents. His personality changed while he made a magnanimous show of enjoying the abuses in order to prevent his personality from splitting. The change took place in a spot so deep in his mind, that even those closest to him did not notice. Saionji and Nanami never noticed out of their innocence. And Touga never told his secret to anyone. It is said that a human being gains whatever he lost in exchange. So what did Touga gain in exchange at that point in time? It was the sense of alienation from being abused every night and seeing his innocent friend and sister during the day. The alienated self.
(Extract of a comment Enokido, one of the writers who worked on Utena, wrote about Touga’s role in the Utena movie.)
Of course, you could argue whether or not the sexual abuse is canon or not in the series. After all, the series and the movie don’t seem to take place in the same canon (even though it is hard to completely disconnect the two). Whatever you choose to believe, I personally think it all makes so much sense.
It makes sense regarding Touga’s general behavior in the series (but this is more touched upon in the essay I linked above) and it makes his goal and his narrative role much clearer.
Being sold like a mere object, knowing a much harsher truth about life Saionji and Nanami don’t know about, showing everyone a stronger facade in order to not completely lose your mind and keep protecting your friend and your sister from this reality and eventually... letting them know in a painfully gendered way, perpetuating everything this system has forced on you.
It has all become part of you.
Keeping the cycle of violence going became part of your blood and flesh. Making clear who is supposed to inflict pain and who is supposed to receive it. Who is supposed to protect and who is supposed to be protected. Who is supposed to act and who is supposed to wait.
And you ? No, you’re never supposed to hurt anymore. You want a way out of this. For you, the easiest way is to simply reclaim the place that was always prepared for you to take.
When Touga and Saionji found Utena in her coffin, it feels like Touga knew something Saionji didn’t. Saionji felt it too, but he wasn’t able to recognize what it was. After all, he was still a child. Touga knew about the same thing Utena learned with her parents’ death : they both had a glimpse of what the “adult world” (Akio’s world) actually looks like, shattering their juvenile knowledge of the world.
A world where people die. A world where the weak lose. A world where the prince should protect the princess.
Touga already had a coffin. Utena just found hers and was about to find a new one. Saionji was just finding his.
It all makes sense regarding how obedient Touga is to Akio and why he seeks his validation, his desire to go up in the hierarchy aside. It makes sense because he is “alienated”. Touga got deprived of everything, he knows the burden of being alive and he’s learned, from his early childhood, to be compliant.
He seems independent during the Student Council arc and a majority of the series, but eps 35 and 36 show he is not the mastermind of it all. He has a privileged position but unlike some other characters, Touga never uses his agency to try to break out of the system ─ he follows its rules and tries to reinforce his dominance.
Why would you break out from a system serving you so well ?
“I want to become like him. I want power like his.”
Touga is alienated to the system and his only goal is to become what it expects of him. After all, why wouldn’t he ? Being a prince is the best position offered by the system. Being a prince means acquiring an absolute power. With such power, one doesn’t die and is forever out of reach and harm and pain. Who wouldn’t want such a thing ?
The prince never saves the princess out of selflessness. He saves her because it gives him a reward in exchange. He saves her because it gives him power and control over her and ultimately, everyone else. And so, the princess becomes a "toy" wannabe princes has to win, to conquer.
Does Touga, even during what seems to be his most “sincere” moment in ep 36, ever wish to protect Utena for something else than possessing her ? When could have he learned to know and appreciate her as a person, rather than a princess ? A reward to conquer ?
When did he stop wishing he could’ve saved Utena just like Akio did ? I believe he might be genuine, yet he acts toward Utena exactly like she acts toward Anthy. He wants to save her for his own sake, regardless of her personal hopes and desires.
It’s truly sad, though. Because all of it is nothing but a childish dream. There was never once a prince in this world. Only boring and abusive adults.
“Are you really happy with that?”
Well, when it comes down to it, probably not. But was it ever about happiness ? Probably not either. The pursuit of power only ever leads to isolation, to a complete lack of meaning ─ after all, friendship is a fool’s thing. No one can reach what’s behind the facade.
Saionji was able to confront Touga with his own lies and paradoxes, get as close to his real self anyone probably could. But it wasn’t enough. Saionji himself didn’t go as far as leaving the system entirely, even when it seemed he had cracked it all. Touga sort of did, too.
As far as I’m concerned, we only heard his own, deep thoughts once.
“Kiryuu Touga, the playboy Student Council President... Is it? "Playboy" sounds old-fashioned.”
Touga weaponized himself. He weaponized his body (sex is only a tool to aim for power). He weaponized his heart (relationships only matter if you use them to your advantage. Those who believe in love and friendship are fools and will be ultimately be used to someone else’s advantage). And for what ?
I really like the symbolism of the poppy flower in ep 35. I feel like it symbolizes Akio’s power, in a way. I’m incredibly bad when it comes to the language of flowers (so everyone is free to correct me) but please bear with me. In the East, red poppy flowers apparently symbolize romantic love and success (what it probably means for the girl confessing to Touga, as well as Akio when he “eats” it in this scene, since Touga and him are talking about Utena) but it can also symbolize “luxurious pleasures and fantastic extravagance”. In the Japanese language of flowers, red poppies can also symbolize someone “fun-loving”. I feel like both of these work with Akio and I believe that for Touga, they are a symbol of luxury and extravagance.
Yet another girl confessed to him. Without even thinking about it, he kissed her. He will never read her confession letter, he probably didn’t even notice it. He will probably simply leave it on the floor, without a care. This pursuit of power isn’t even fulfilling to him, there’s absolutely no thought behind it. Only automatic actions, behaviors working in favor of someone else’s greater scheme. He won’t even get to actually possess Utena.
He will never get what he truly wants. Is there even anything that he truly wants ? Saionji, maybe. In the meantime, he’s just a tool for a system. A system made up by boring adults, based on lies, illusions and unachievable dreams.
Touga is condemned to go in cycles. He’s given everything to overcome what keeps him stuck and trapped, but it doesn’t do anything. He can only revolve around his own coffin, completing the same circle, again and again.
He doesn’t know how to do anything else.
It will never make anything he’s done forgivable. But at least, maybe one day, he’ll realize. Or maybe never.
We can always create new roads, leading to worlds completely unknown to us, where everything needs to be built. Anthy and Utena are here to show the way, who deserves to follow these new roads is only up to you.
On a purely personal standpoint... I was never really able to answer this question.
“No. It's not over until we see it through the very end.”
#this took an eternity (lol) to get done. welp.#i started this in *checks notes* february 2022#the original ramble post that gave birth to this post is way older than this#i felt like this was. too obvious or whatever. but i wanted to finish it for myself ig#posting mediocre meta in order to cope !#does this post make me a touga enjoyer ?? idk. i kinda hate him still#hate him so much i wrote an entire post about him. ahah. im a fool#ive just seen the 'it's because i'm a feminist' screenshot and i genuinely felt like deleting this entire post. he is a clown. i am CLOWN#at this point i should write meta about the movie someday. i should#this post is just a long explanation of the 'touga ; anthy and utena function as a triangle. the triforce of abuse if you will' idea#utena meta#shoujo kakumei utena#revolutionary girl utena#sku#rgu#touga kiryuu#kiryuu touga#er.txt
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Progressed moon part 2
💕Moon in 7th house-many things are related to relationships. You can meet new people, improve your attitude towards others. You can go into a relationship or your relationship takes on a new look (marriage, engagement). Or you decide to end the relationship. This progression is notoriously hard on marriages. You must refresh and restructure the lines of communication with your partner or your closest friends. So speak up. Declare yourself. Hang in there with the process. New people arrive in your life now, often helping, sometimes complicating the situation.
✨Moon in Libra-you are more inclined to want to understand others and relationships with others. You can think a lot about the relationships you have with others. Maybe you can start looking more at fashion and beautiful things. An increased need to be with people, to socialize, and to compromise are featured during this period of life. You may have the need to do all activities with your loved ones so you should be careful not to become too dependent on others. You will long for diplomatic and pleasant discussions.
🌊Moon in 8th house-The 8th house is usually always a dark part of life that you go through. You get to know the truth and life in a profound way. You confront some of the less attractive aspects of your own character. It is not a pleasant process or a breezy one, but if you open yourself, it heals you. You face fears and parts of life that may not be so familiar to you. This lunar progression tells you that those psychic things are brimming over and that it is time to carry out the trash. Quiet yourself now. Here your life changes and you can feel depressed and only as soon as you are alone. We do often feel a deep need for intimacy and bonding with others.
💙Moon in Scorpio-this is an intense period of your life. Your thinking becomes deeper, darker and more obsessive. Scorpio drives you very deeply into yourself, into the mystery of life, and sometimes into its horror. There is no dodging the truth now. Your thinking can be more psychological and tend to analyze things. An awareness of death arises. Oftentimes, this progression suggests an actual confrontation with the death of someone close. You are integrating the unconscious mind into your personality. But you are strong and you have a power. Be careful of losing perspective, though. Don't let your thoughts fool you.
🧚🏼♀️Moon in 9th house - This is where you begin to live life and experience it in a more optimistic, positive way. You begin to see life more joyfully with many opportunities. This is time to live. You could travel a lot more. But the progression doesn't always signify literal travel, but travel is a perfect metaphor. You need to break up old routines and patterns. Take chances. Study something that fascinates you. Philosophize! Speculate about the meaning of life. The best advice here is to go find that old movie and sit through it twice. Go to places that excite you, play lotto, explore.
🌉Sagittarius moon- you become happier, more optimistic, you start to find joy and happiness in yourself. Everything seems more vivid, more real. Senses tingling, you are ready to stretch out into life, seizing opportunities. You need a breath of fresh air in your life. Be ready to change. Risk an adventure. You are learning to break up routines of thought and feeling: You have memorized a mood. Finding the positive is easier here.
🌴Moon in 10th house- here you start to look more at the community. Show yourself and present yourself in your own way. You are starting to stand up for the seriousness of life, stability, career. Maybe more left to fate and some mission. There can also be a lot going on with the parents and maybe the relationship with them can be improved. Gives us a role to play and a sense of belong-ing. With the progressed Moon entering your tenth house, the time has come to scrutinize and restructure your relationship to the community. You might need a new job, or to revamp the old one. You might marry or divorce.
🌙Capricorn moon- Time to get serious. Not heavy, not miserable, not melodramatic- just serious. Look clearly at yourself and the world you've created. You are starting to be more aware of your responsibilities and what you are doing. You are in the mood to accomplish something. You feel a need to be recognized for your accomplishments and for your effectiveness. Too often we create unnecessary loneliness for ourselves under this influence- and with this kind of power available, that's not only painful, it's dangerous. Look more from the positive side, focus on the important things in life and get things done.
💚Moon in 11th house-your focus is on friends and the society that surrounds you. How do you see yourself with them and do you belong there. Maybe you can realize more and more that the company you have now does not suit you or that you feel like you don't belong in it. You can start to perceive friends more emotionally. You are starting to dream a lot and embark on dreams and how to make them come true. Claim what is yours, and most centrally, insist upon your right to be recognized for what you have done. You can take your place now within whatever social stratum you have chosen to make your mark. Set goals. Establish priorities. Think strategically. What is really important to you. What was a feeling then is a reality now.
🧼Aquarius moon- you become more unique, different, rebellious. You are starting to think from a different point of view and more on your own. You don't let others tell you who you are and what you can do. Break the rules with this moon. Your mood needs to be rebellious and free-spirited. Other people have been too successful at telling you what to feel. Don’t be afraid of anyone disapproval. Listen to your voice.
🎨Moon in 12th house-this is time to let go of things. You may feel more emotionally isolated and alienated from others. You have come to the end of a cycle. Accept that. Something within you is failing now, but don't worry once it fails utterly, you will be happier, wiser, and stronger. It is like you are going through a rebirth. But it is in a private way. What was once opportunity now enslaves you. What once tasted sweet has now turned bitter and dry. Recognize those transformations and release the past or you fight a losing battle for your right to retain your slavery and your bitterness. Again, we experience a time of withdrawal. Find the deep center around which the merry-go-round of life orbits. Find it and stay there, where it is safe. Meditate, pray, relax, stare into candle flames-and trust the process that is happening within you.
🧸Pisces moon- Relax, and trust this often surrealistic feeling. Laugh with it, because it will ask you to laugh- but the object of the humor is not your favorite one. It is yourself. Life begins to look like a cartoon now, two-dimensional, stylized and funny. Be dreamy and crazy. Don't let the bad sides of the pisces get you. Be more calm and trust your intuition. This is often a friendly time, but a vague one. By taking ourselves less seriously- and by seeing our own pretenses mirrored in the crystal-clear pretenses of others--we prepare ourselves for the new emotional beginning in Aries.
-Rebekah🎨🧸🌉
#astrology#energy#zodiac signs#planets#astrological houses#moon#progressed moon#progressed chart#progression
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♬ Summary: Having depression is never easy but having a partner that understands you makes things easier
♬ Pairing: Established relationship; Jungkook x reader
♬ Rating: Pg - 14
♬Genre: Established relationship, angst, and fluff
♬ Warnings: Angst and talks about depression
♬ Part of, ‘ His Fan Girl
Note: Been having a depressive episode for awhile now and I thought it would help me to write about it
Life gets too much sometimes and it's worse at night. The moon is supposed to give you comfort with the shimmery silver but instead the only thing you see is the shadows that it produces. Even though the stars shine so bright in the night sky, it never translates. It’s complicated. You feel so happy at moments but then those moments get sucked up and replaced with sadness. As if your body is mourning those happy moments because it knows it's rare to keep them consistent. That’s how it's been for Y/N the past few months.
She lives with the love of her life and is surrounded by people that love her, so why does she feel this nothingness? Every day is too long and it just feels like her life is on repeat. She’s doing everything to make herself feel better, mediating, taking a short walk, and self care but the feeling is still there. She tells her therapist this at every session but she tells her it's okay for recovery to take its course. She just wishes that it can work a little faster.
Feeling lost is the worst feeling especially when you're surrounded by people who care for you. It makes you feel guilty in a way. They love you so much but you can’t even recover, it's sad. It's sad for you and it’s sad for everyone around you because they try to understand you. That’s even worse. When the people around you try to understand your feelings, it makes you feel like a test subject at times or it makes you feel like they pity you. Y/N knows they don’t pity her and they just care and love for her but her brain has always been her saboteur at happiness.
Jungkook sees this and he tries his best to make her feel better. He takes her on small walks with Bam and even has her cook with him but when days are hard, he doesn’t know what to do. There are days where she stays in their bedroom and just lays there. She watches youtube and her shows but she doesn’t really do anything else. She barely eats and even when Jungkook gives her food, she sometimes just eats two bites. She always says sorry to him, sorry that he has to see her like this but he tells her that no matter he loves her. He loves at her lowest and he loves her at his highest, no matter what.
Tonight Jungkook wanted to change things. He actually got her into the car and he drove to their favorite place. He glanced at her and saw her staring out the window with a blank look, something she's been doing more. He frowned at this and turned his head back to the road. Y/N stared at the clouds hiding the stars in the afternoon sky. It was as if the clouds were asking her to play hide and seek and the winner gets to see the bright moon. She was so focused on the sky that she didn’t even notice the care stopping. She snapped at her haze and she saw the beach. She felt her heartbeat get faster and turned towards Jungkook. She let a small smile escape and placed her hand on top of his, “Thank you...”
“Of course, babe.”
Jungkook got out of his side and quickly went to her side. He opened the door and she gently placed her hand into his. He creased the tops of her knuckles and placed a quick kiss on the top of her head. He locked the car and they made their way to the sand. Each step she took her foot was engulfed with the tiny rocks and shells. It felt like a metaphor in her mind. Each step she takes in life, she just gets sucked in and she knows she has to keep going forward but it's so...it's so hard at times. It feels impossible.
They sat far enough from the water but close enough to feel the droplets of the waters. Jungkook wrapped his arm over her shoulder and brought her to him. She tilted her head so it could perfectly fit into him and stared at the ocean. She watched the waves crash into each other and her thoughts started to wander.
The stars always told her stories. Some are sad and some happy. Ever since she got with Jungkook, the stories have been more happy. When they were broken up, watching the stars without him made her soul cry. The stars were there to comfort her no matter what while the sun mocked her for having problems.
“Babe, what are you thinking about?”
She looked up at him and shook her head, “Honestly...I’m not sure.”
“That’s not good. Want to talk about it?”
“I don’t even have a subject to talk about...what’s there to talk about?”
He glanced down at her and it was his turn to shake his head, “There’s always something to talk about. Regardless of the lack of subject, just let your brain do the talking and I’ll listen.”
“Are you sure? It gets pretty dark up there.”
“I’m sure.”
She sighed and turned her head back to the ocean. She closed her eyes and let her brain do the talking, just like Jungkook told her to do, “I used to look at the night sky as this beautiful painting. The darkness never altered my view on it, it was just beautiful to me. Throughout my life I always looked at the sky because it was the only consistent thing in my life. It was also safe. I always knew what I was getting when I glanced up...”
“What about day time?”
“Day time...day time just mocked me. On days when things got hard, the sun would laugh at me. It always felt like the sun would judge me on another sleepless night while night time made me feel at ease. Like the feelings I felt were normal. It’s complicated...”
Jungkook kissed the top of her head and looked out at the crashing waves, “I have time.”
“When night time came, I knew it was okay to cry. It was okay to cry because the darkness around would hide it while the day time highlighted it. I always felt safer in my bedroom...the four walls gave me so much comfort but was it really comfort? It didn’t feel like it because my mind wouldn’t stop, it just kept going. I kept this a secret from my family...they had no idea until it got worse. I asked my mom if I could go into therapy and she of course said yes. She wanted to do anything for me and she never questioned my mental struggle. She just wanted to support me in every way she could...just like how you do.”
“I’ll always be there to support you...I think...nobody taught you how to cry.”
She glanced at him with a confused look as he continued to look at the water, “What do you mean?”
“Sure you cried at night but you were by yourself...the pain and anger you held inside just became too much and you popped. You were taught to lie. You were taught to put this mask on to hide your true feelings and you never were truly vulnerable. Lying made things easier for you as you went through life because if you ever said the truth then it would make things hard. The more you lied, the more complicated things got. All the feelings you don’t show are the reason to let go, regardless of what it is.”
She continued to stare at him with wide eyes as a tear escaped, “Wh-What if I don’t know the feelings I have on the inside?”
“Then we can figure it out together. You have never been free and it sounds like your mind is wanting to experience that now. You're scared.”
“I-I am.”
His arm tightened around her and rubbed her shoulder gently, “That’s okay to be scared. I know it’s going to take a while for you to feel normal. Well, you're normal. I can go on and on about how much I love you and give you comforting words but it’s easier said than done. Don’t rush the healing process.”
“You heard my therapist say that...”
“I did and it's true.”
She bit her lip and looked out towards the ocean as more tears escaped, “I-I don’t want to hold you back.”
“You're not. I can’t imagine my life without you. I’ll be there for you no matter what. Your lowest low will never push me away.”He turned towards her and gently placed his thumb under her chin to turn her head. He let a soft smile appear and he brought his finger to wipe away tears. He leaned forward and placed a longing kiss on her forehead, “One day at a time...I’ll be there for you.”
“You shouldn’t have that responsibility…”
“I don’t see it as that, I just see it as me loving you.”
She brought her hand up and gently touched his cheek. Her thumb caressed his soft skin, “I know that but my brain won’t let me see that. Everyone around me gives me love but my brain stops me from enjoying it. It’s tiring.”
“I know baby but that won’t push me or the guys away. We all love you the way you are.”
Another tear fell and she looked up at him, “Even if I’m broken?”
“I don’t see you as that. We don’t see you as that. We’ll help you through this.”
“One day at a time…”
“One day at a time, babe.”
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