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#that was cringe af and not the moment that marvel thought it was
ivystitches · 2 years
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sometimes i remember how hyped i was for endgame and what a massive disappointment it was and it makes me want to strangle the russo brothers
#it was so bad that it wouldn’t cross the billion dollar or whatever mark by itself#even though it fully should have#being as anticipated as it was after infinity war#and they had to rerelease it with ‘bonus scenes’ to get it to cross the mark#no one could stop talking about how good infinity war was until endgame came out#we joke about how no one remembers the plot of the avatar movie and how it had no cultural impact#endgame was the same!!!!! infinity war absolutely knocked it out of the park and endgame made zero sense in terms of plot#and it was such a step down#that as soon as people watched it the hype was gone#fuck even the new spider-man had more people talking about it for longer than endgame did#steve getting a happy ending wasn’t stupid but the way he got it was just such a regression in his character#considering he was talking about helping people move on in the very same movie#the insult that was the woman team up scene#that was cringe af and not the moment that marvel thought it was#maybe they should’ve used that time to give the only original female avenger a fucking funeral#honestly i’m never not going to be mad about nat’s ending#tony’s ending was perfect i’m not gonna lie#and endgame!thor has my heart#but literally every other aspect of that movie was objectively horrible#forever going to be salty about nat and steve’s endings she should’ve had a funeral and he could’ve just settled down in the present#instead of completely erasing years of character development#are my feelings on this ever going to soften? well it’s been years since i’ve even interacted with the marvel community#and i’m still just as angry about it as i was when i watched the damn movie#so no i’m never getting over it#endgame#avengers endgame#mcu#tony stark#(my beloved)#natasha romanoff
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years
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5 Times
Title: 5 Times
Summary:  4 Times Motley Crue tried to kill themselves, and 1 time they did
Warnings: Suicidal thoughts. Language
1-Nikki
Seventeen years old. No money, no job, no family, no home. That’s exactly the way every kid wants to finish of their childhood, right? Being unloved, broke, and hungry, sitting on the curb outside of a bar and watching the drunks go by.
Frank Feranna, no, Nikki Sixx, would’ve done anything to not be in that situation right then.
He had a knife burning a hole in his pocket. He had cut his arm before. He still had the scar to prove it. How else was he supposed to get away from that mother of his? And he was not about to go back to it. But the only way he could see on getting out of his situation was at the sharp end of a switchblade knife. He pulled the item out of his pocket and stared at it. It almost seemed to glow under the flickering street lights. He closed his eyes, trying to find something in him that wanted to fight, wanted to live.
“Hey kid,” A voice called out from the entrance of the bar right behind Nikki. He turned to see a man standing there. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be at home?”
“I guess,” Nikki grumbled. The man took a step towards him.
“Jesus, you’re a fucking skeleton,” He looked Nikki up and down. “I tell you what. I need an extra hand. The Hollywood Vampires are here tonight and I’m a man down. You help me out, and I’ll let you eat whatever you want when they leave.”
“What?” Nikki asked, a little confused.
“Come on. You look like you could use a burger and I need help. What do you say?”
Nikki looked down at the knife and slid it back into his pocket before getting up and following the man into the Rainbow, where he spent the night serving the Hollywood Vampires and their guests, and eating until he couldn’t eat another bite.
2-Mick
What fucking good is a guitarist with ankylosing spondylitis? No fucking good, in Mick’s opinion. What was he going to do? Sit on a stool and strum while everyone else in his band got to run around and have fun? No fucking way. He wasn’t going to be some invalid.
But the depression that came with the diagnosis was starting to take a toll on him. He could already feel it slowly destroying him. And he honestly wanted to destroy himself before it had a chance to.
Vodka dulled the pain, but only for a little bit. Pills helped, but got the same results. He couldn’t handle the short term pain management anymore. It was starting to get so bad, he decided the best way to handle it was to do both at once. It would either kill him or help him, either he would take right then. He stared at the mound of pills in his hand and the bottle of clear liquid in his hand.
There was a knock at his bedroom door then. He cringed, thinking it was her, but a small voice accompanied the knock.
“Daddy?” Les’s voice could be heard through the door. “Are you awake?”
Mick took a deep breath and deposited the pills back into the bottle before going to the door.
“Hey Les,” Mick crouched down in front of him. “What’s up?”
“Daddy, can you read me a story?” He held the book out to his dad, which caused a smile to spread on Mick’s face.
“Sure thing kid. Want to help me read to Stormy?” Les nodded excitedly and took Mick’s hand, going to his baby sister’s room to help daddy read to her like a good big brother.
3-Vince
He didn’t sleep. The nightmares of what he had done kept him awake. He had killed someone, injured two others. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see Razzle’s mangled body, the twisted metal of the car, he could smell the booze, and it all made him so sick. So he didn’t sleep until his body physically wouldn’t let him go on anymore.
It all came to a head during Theater of Pain. Nikki and Tommy were two busy who could snort the most lines, and Mick was trying to pass off his vodka as water. No one seemed to notice how fake his smiles were, how tired he was. As long as he put on a good fucking show, who cared? The fans sure didn’t, Doc didn’t, the other people in the band didn’t. As long as he belted out the songs right, signed some autographs, and banged a few chicks, no one gave two shits about him.
That’s why he was sitting in his dressing room, staring at the wall. That’s why he was thinking about the ways that he could end it. Because he should’ve died that night. He was the one that was drinking and driving, and he was the only one who walked away from it. How the fuck did he get to live when Razzle died? Beth had left him and taken the kids with her. He had court appointed sobriety tests until his probation was up. And no one fucking cared. They all drank in front of him, smoked and snorted in front of him, and partied it up while he was having to stay sober and sing the same shitty songs over and over again. If it wasn’t for Home Sweet Home, the album would’ve blown hard core.
He held his head in his hands. What was he supposed to do? His marriage was over. His kids only saw him a couple times a month, and the band that he had once loved, he now hated. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, all because of his big fuck up.
“Yo, fucker, it’s time to go!” Tommy called out.
“Come out and play Vinnie!” Nikki’s voice echoed. He was sure that Mick was out there, shaking his head at the two idiots.
“Vince! Come on man let’s go!” Tommy hit the door. Vince sighed and shook his head before getting up and opening the door. “Bout fucking time dude! Let’s go!” Tommy and Nikki took off down the hallway. Mick snagged Vince’s arm.
“I know that look,” He told him. “I know what you’re going through.”
“I’m fine Mick. Promise.” Vince lied. Mick shook his head.
“You know where my dressing room and hotel room is every stop. Don’t go through this alone,” He squeezed Vince’s shoulder before walking after Tommy and Nikki, Vince following up the parade.
Maybe someone did care after all…
4-Tommy
He was twenty-three. At twenty-three, he should’ve been getting drunk, playing music, and having the time of his life. Not standing in a courthouse getting a marriage annulled. He thought all his relationships would end up like his parents did. A proposal within hours of knowing each other, two kids, and a loving, lasting relationship. His parents didn’t fight, they didn’t resent each other.
Why was he so broken that he couldn’t find that?
He honestly thought Eliane was going to be the one. He followed everything exactly how his dad did, yet here he was, just a couple short months after tying the knot with her, he was separating from her.
“Fuck!” Tommy screamed out before he started throwing everything in his hotel room that wasn’t bolted down. Mattress, TV, lamps. It all went as far as he could throw them. He felt like his world was coming to an end. Why had it come to this? Why couldn’t he just have a moment of happiness?
He sank to the floor, surrounded by his mess. He wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. He wanted to just disappear. If he already screwed up marriage by twenty-three, what was he supposed to do next in life?
“T-Bone!” Nikki called as he came through Tommy’s door before stopping dead in his tracks. “Dude, what the fuck happened in here?”
“Go away Nikki,” Tommy mumbled, pulling his legs to his chest.
“Shit, what’s wrong?” Nikki sat on the floor by Tommy. “Hey, it’s me we’re talking about. You can’t hide things from me, you know that, right?” He nudged him with his elbow.
“I’m divorced,” Tommy whispered. “I screwed up and I’m divorced.”
“I don’t think this marriage falling apart was all your fault man,” Nikki told him. “I mean, you guys only knew each other a week, right?”
“My parents only knew each other a day,” Tommy grumbled.
“And you’re not your parents dude,” Nikki stood up and pulled Tommy to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“I don’t want…”
“No. We’re going out and that’s final.” Nikki stated before pulling Tommy to every strip club in town. By the end of the night, Tommy was feeling better. At least, a little bit. He leaned against Nikki as they stumbled back to their hotel.
“Hey Nik?” Tommy slurred.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever let me marry a pornstar again,” To which Nikki just laughed.
5-Motley Crue
White walls, large windows, support groups, therapy. It all fucking sucked. But it was needed. They had taken the role of the Bad Boys of Rock way too far, and it almost cost them. They needed this, despite what Vince said. This was the second time he had gone through it, and it wasn’t any better the second time around. He wouldn’t have gone through with it if Tommy didn’t have to be such a follower. Anything Nikki did, Tommy wanted to do. And Tommy convinced Mick, which left Vince. And he was not about to be the asshole who said no to rehab just because he didn’t want to.
But a couple months after they walked through the doors, bodies tired, hair greasy, and more drugs than blood in their system, they walked back out those doors, leaving behind a heroin addict, a cokehead, and two alcoholics in their wake.
They killed their old selves to start anew, and this was the first time, they all actually went through with it.
Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme
Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva @lesliethegroupie @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-junky @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies
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Text
I Need to Talk About “Avengers: Endgame”
WARNING: THIS WILL BE VERY SPOILER-Y!
PLEASE, IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE, DO NOT READ THE SPOILERS!
IT’S SO HARD TO STAY AWAY WHEN YOU’RE CURIOUS AS HELL, BUT PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT THESE SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE!
SPOILERS WILL BE BELOW THE CUT, SO IF YOU DON’T TURN AWAY NOW, I CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SPOILERS YOU WILL SEE!
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!
OK!
I have an actual metric fuckton of stuff to say about this movie-too much, really. I won’t be able to hold it together for even a part of it, since I cried like a baby throughout 90% of this movie. I have a lot of words and a lot of emotions. Walking into this movie, I had a lot of theories. Some of them were true, and others were not. Some of them, I wished I had been wrong about. I steered clear of all spoilers, dropping off the face of the world once I heard that a leak happened, and I’m somewhat relieved that I can be back. It’s not gonna be the same, though. Never.
I’ve only seen the movie three times so far (I had to edit this twice while writing this reaction, ngl), so I’m definitely still missing some shit. I just haven’t been able to keep myself collected for long enough to write it all. I’m definitely going to see it again tomorrow, which is like opening a gaping wound and pouring salt, vinegar, alcohol, and tears into it. Why do I do this?
So, here it goes. It won’t be in order, but I’m just writing it down as it comes back to me (while listening to the Avengers Theme because I need to cry for a bit longer, I guess).
I was a bit upset that the movie didn’t open with the original Marvel fanfare. I was angry until I cried for the first time in the movie, which happened a mere 3 minutes in.
Clint’s. Fucking. Family.
When he starts running around, yelling for them, I was absolutely gutted. It felt like someone drove a knife into my back.
The Russo Bros.
JESUS. CHRIST. GIVE. THIS. MAN. A. BREAK.
GIVE. ME. A. BREAK.
Tony’s physical state in space was absolutely mind-boggling. I was crushed just seeing him like that, like a little skeleton man. I’m realizing as I write this that I can’t even think about Tony right now. Nope.
No.
Anyway, now that I’m crying, I might as well keep crying.
Nebula lifting Tony up into the seat like he’s a small child. YES, GIVE THIS MAN ALL THE LOVE AND CARE IN THE WORLD! HE DESERVES EVERYTHING GOOD! DON’T TOUCH ME, I’M CRYING!
When that little light hit Tony’s face, I was like, “CAROL! IT’S MY GIRL! WHAT A GODDESS!” and the entire theater erupted with applause. I was so happy I wasn’t stuck with a theater full of people with sticks in places they shouldn’t be.
STEVE SPRINTING UP TO TONY WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL, TOUCHING, WONDERFUL MOMENT, BUT THEN, THESE TWO FUCKERS FIGHT AGAIN LIKE 2 SECONDS LATER! DON’T TAKE MY LITTLE SHREDS OF HAPPINESS AWAY FROM ME, MARVEL, FFS!
“I lost the kid” -Tony, making me want to vomit because of the sheer emotions.
Pepperony reunion was beautiful. I cried. Everyone cried. Not everyone. Me and a few other people.
Tony losing his shit on Steve left me gutted. I just wanted everything to be okay between them, especially since both of them came so close to dying.
“I needed you!” -Tony, 2k19
“I need you two to get along” -Me, 2k19
“Up until this moment, I thought you were a Build-a-Bear” -Tony to Rocket, and the theater erupted in laughter. The Russo’s were trying to butter us up with as much funny shit in the first half as they could because THEY KNEW WHAT WAS COMING, AND NO ONE ELSE DID!
When I saw Carol’s tears in her eyes upon seeing Nick Fury’s picture as one of the vanished, I...ugh. No. I’m feeling a lot again.
She was so ready to kick some purple ass, and I was like “YAAAASSSS, KWEEN! Kill the evil grape!”
The fact that we saw the jump in the reflection of Steve’s eyes, my heart fluttered. What a beautiful...whoa. I was...the EYELASHES?! HeLp!
WHEN THANOS GOT HIS NOGGIN CHOPPED CLEAN OFF, THE WHOLE AUDIENCE LOST IT, BUT WE KNEW IT WOULDN’T BE THE END OF THANOS. The cheers were full of joy and also a bit of fear for what would come.
“I went for the head” -Thor, 2k19
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Even though, I was fully committed to this movie, when the “five years later” faded onto the screen, I couldn’t help but read it in a Spongebob Narrator voice. OOPS!
Steve trying to be a little optimist in the absolute worst circumstances...ugh!
Joe Russo’s cameo. I was like, “yaaaasss, represent the LGBTQ+ audience” but I was also like, “you’re gonna kill me in this movie, aren’t you?” AND THE SECOND TIME I WATCHED IT, WHEN PEOPLE CHEERED BECAUSE OF HIM IN THAT SCENE, I JUST SAT THERE WITH MY ARMS CROSSED LIKE AN ANGRY BABY! I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING! I KNEW THAT HE WAS GOING TO STAB ME STRAIGHT THROUGH MY FUCKING HEART IN A LITTLE WHILE! The second time around, I was more excited to see Jim Starlin in that scene.
CAROL’S HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing Natasha cry over Clint’s disappearance was...rough. 10/10 don’t like seeing my heroes cry because it turns me into an actual blubbering mess. Natasha was a strong, fierce, incredible warrior goddess, and to see her crumble over the stress was both so incredibly realistic but also heart-wrenching. She has done such a good job holding it together in the worst circumstances throughout these movies, but now we get to see her as just as vulnerable as anyone else. Natasha was a gem, and SHE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. I NEED TISSUES. I’M CRYING!
On a side note: I love that new hair she’s rocking, ngl.
“I tell people to move on; some do, but not us” *chills*
I’m upset that the peanut butter sandwich wasn’t credited and had no appearances in the trailer. It played such a pivotal role. First, it was Nat’s. Then, Nat tried to pass it off to Steve. Then, Scott practically fell in love with it.
Scott, looking at that peanut butter sandwich:
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While we’re talking about Scott Lang, I have to say that a lot of us in the theater cried like little tiny babies, when Scott and Cassie finally saw each other again. Five hours passed for him, but his daughter aged five entire years. That was heart-wrenching and also such a happy scene.
TONY STARK FINALLY HAD SOME HAPPINESS! HE MARRIED PEPPER, AND THEY HAD A DAUGHTER, MORGAN! I CAN’T! DON’T TOUCH ME!
Professor Hulk was both really unsettling, really funny, and everything that I wanted. I didn’t really know whether to laugh or cringe a little bit. It was really well done, and it made for some laughs, but ngl, I was a bit...disturbed by it.
The picture scene. Scott is just...the most relatable.
“Take the goddamn phone” -Scott Lang, leaving myself and the rest of the theater in stitches.
“Shit” -Tony Stark, 2k19
“Shit” -Morgan Stark, 2k19
Tony = Parenting Goals, leave me alone.
“I love you 3000” -Morgan Stark being the sweetest little peanut in the history of all things. Someone protect her LIKE THEY SHOULD’VE PROTECTED TONY! HELP, I’M CRYING AGAIN!
“But would you be able to rest?” -PEPPER GODDAMN POTTS, KNOWING THAT WE’RE GONNA EXPERIENCE THE WORST PAIN IN MERE HOURS!
*ahem*
Scott’s transformation between adult, child, old, baby, and back to adult was funny af. Every person in the theater lost their shit during that scene.
“Someone peed my pants” -Scott Lang...legendary
Steven Grant Rogers in THOSE pants. We all know which ones I’m talking about. The ones he wears when he walks outside the facility and is greeted by Tony Stark. I needed an inhaler because it took my breath away. Wow.
TONY GIVING STEVE HIS SHIELD BACK REPAIRED MY SHATTERED HEART AND CLEARED UP MY SKIN.
Scott sitting outside with his little taco, only to have it blown away thanks to Rocket and Nebula, OH LORD HELP ME! I nearly pissed myself, I was laughing so hard. Then, when Professor Hulk walks by and hands him a taco with this big ass green hand, everyone went from “lol” to “awwwww” like he was some giant green puppy!
Nebula throwing serious shade at Scott! LIFE!
“What’s up, Regular-Sized Man?” -Rhodey, coming in for the kill.
Prof. Hulk riding in the back of the truck with his thicc ass, the theater erupted.
VALKYRIE! WHEN IT PANNED OVER TO HER, EVERY SINGLE TIME I’VE SEEN IT, THE THEATER WENT FUCKING BUCK WILD! PEOPLE LOVE HER! I LOVE HER! I WOULD MARRY THIS FUCKING GODDESS!
Thor.
Wow.
Whoa.
Huh.
Like, when it showed him, I laughed because...it’s still the God of a man, Chris Hemsworth. At the same time, though, it made me so goddamn sad. The audience didn’t always know whether it was right to laugh or get a bit emotional about it. He feels like he failed his people and the entire universe. That’s a lot of guilt on his shoulders, and we know where this guilt REALLY belongs.
Peter.
Quill.
STAR
DUDE
HE IS A LORD NO LONGER!
Like, I love you, but this is on you, homeboy.
MEEK AND KORG!
When Prof. Hulk mentions Thanos, and Thor gets really quiet and teary-eyed, I couldn’t help but getting emotional about it. He feels like such a failure, and that’s heartbreaking.
He...is using Stormbreaker...as a bottle opener...wtf, Thor?!
“There’s booze” -Rocket
And that was the line that convinced Thor Odinson, the God of Thunder, the King of Asgard to join up with his team again and kick some ass. Really. I’m not lying. This is the true motivation for my dude, Thor. Wow.
“Jane put her hand in a rock, and the stone put itself into her” -Thor, 2k19
*THE THEATER LOSES IT*
Rhodey motioning what he wanted to do to baby Thanos was one of the funniest bits in the movie. I almost puked, I laughed so hard, and then the reaction he got from the other characters. Oh shit!
“See you in a minute” -Natasha to Steve, and the second time I watched it, I lost my goddamn mind. The people next to me were probably like “wtf is gonna happen?” because they knew I had seen it the previous night during the premiere. So when Nat is doing her little “hahaha, I’ll see you in a second” I was just over there dying, trying to hold back my gross sobs. Like I’m doing right now.
I can’t see the keyboard.
Seeing a different view of the Battle of New York was fucking stellar. I was dead. I knew that this was the moment I would get to see Loki being Loki. Wow. Much anticipation.
Prof. Hulk having to pretend to Hulk out left me shook. I couldn’t hear the movie because of the audience laughter.
Bruce and the Ancient One was a great little duo, and I would honestly pay to see Tilda Swinton just interacting with my favorite heroes all day.
“That suit was doing nothing for your ass” -Tony
“As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s Ass!” -Scott, speaking on behalf of everyone in the universe.
LOKI IMITATING STEVE WAS A BEAUTIFUL CALLBACK TO “THOR: THE DARK WORLD” AND I LOST IT. I LOST IT AND COULDN’T FIND IT FOR A HOT MINUTE! Then, Thor just slaps that Asgardian “shut the fuck up” mouthpiece on him, and I don’t get to hear Tom Hiddleston’s silken waterfall of a voice again throughout the movie. Who approved this? Like, I enjoy knowing that there was a reason behind said mouthpiece, and it was because Loki couldn’t stop running his mouth, but I just...I wanted more of Loki than I got.
Hulk getting mad about taking the stairs. That was a mood and a half.
When Steve got into the elevator, I was low-key hoping for another can of whoopass like in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” but what I got was even. fucking. Better.
Hearing Cap say “Hail Hydra” was just as bone-chilling as when I read it in the Captain America: Steve Rogers issue a while back. It was pretty intense hearing him say it, but I thought it was a cool hint to the comic. It gave me chills, but it was also…
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Alexander Pierce, ugh! Listen, Robert Redford has always been-and will always be-a stone cold fox, but Secretary Pierce is the #worst. No one likes him. Seeing all these “long lost” characters was such a nice send-off for our heroes. This was the end of a decade-long saga, and this truly felt like a fan-service movie with a lot of heartbreaking moments that we didn’t want as well.
Seeing Tony have that cardiac dysrhythmia was not my favorite thing, but it was much easier than seeing...the INCIDENT AT THE END THAT SHATTERED MY UNIVERSE!
Loki’s eyes following the case when Ant-Man kicked it away left me cackling in my seat. Every time I’ve watched it, it was hilarious. Idgaf, every single time Tom Hiddleston is on that screen, he steals the show, even when he can’t speak.
God.
That man.
Help.
Hulk busting out of the stairwell and hitting Tony across the fucking room was hilarious.
Then, this little shit, Loki, picks up the tesseract and yeets himself right outta the movie like he was never there to begin with. We don’t see him another goddamn time. I was low-key hoping that Thor could’ve found a way to be in on the plan to get the tesseract so that he could’ve seen Loki one more time, but whatever. I’m not in charge of anything ever.
Like, we’ve gotten to see him as Loki for like a cumulative 4 minutes in two entire movies. How rude.
STEVE RUNNING INTO STEVE!
AND THAT FIGHT SCENE!
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I was all kinds of whoa.
Me during that scene:
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“That is America’s ass” -Steve Rogers, 2k19 or...2k12…? Help.
Steve and Tony going back in time to the 70’s was all kinds of tears. Like, Tony getting to see his dad got me all choked up. AND HOWARD’S LIKE “THERE’S NOTHING I WOULDN’T DO FOR HIM” AND I’M JUST CONFLICTED BECAUSE TONY SUFFERED BECAUSE OF HIS DAD, BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ANYMORE!
And when I saw Steve grab four of those vials of Pym particles, I was like “HONEY, YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL YOU DON’T NEED THAT MANY! PUT IT BACK! DON’T BE LIKE THIS!” I felt like a mother in the candy aisle with a free range toddler.
Listen.
Now, here’s a question.
HOW.
THE FUCK.
DID PEGGY CARTER.
NOT SEE.
HER MAIN MAN.
STEVE.
AMERICA.
ROGERS.
????????????????????????????
Steve’s there like:
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And my girl, Peggy, is just:
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Completely oblivious.
Whatever.
1970′S JARVIS! FUCK ME UP!
Tony giving this “stranger” a hug after having a quick chat with him on an elevator was hilarious because Howard had no idea what the shit was going on.
Honestly, Nebula’s trip to Morag with Rhodey was nice and all, but I wasn’t as invested in it because I knew that it would tie into Thanos, and it did. I was just sick of seeing this purple nutsack-having face. I was done with him. THEN I HAD TO SEE PETER QUILL AGAIN, AND I WAS READY TO PUNCH A HOLE IN THE SCREEN BECAUSE I’M STILL MAD ABOUT INFINITY WAR! I will blame him for this until I die.
And then we get Nebula 1.0 meeting Nebula 2.0, and I was 10/10 uncomfortable. Not a fan. Not a fan at all. Negative fan.
Thor talking to his mom made me cry. Frigga is the goddess Asgard needed but not the one it deserved. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
When I realized that Steve, Tony, and Scott went to NYC, Nebula and Rhodey went to Morag, Thor and Rocket went to Asgard, I knew. I knew that shit was about to go down on Vormir. I already knew that someone was going to die in order to get the Soul Stone, but I didn’t want to think about who it was going to be. AND WHEN I SAW IT, I WANTED TO FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF THERE. NO THANK YOU!
I knew that Clint and Nat would want to sacrifice their own lives to keep the other from doing it, and they’re two of my favorite characters in the MCU, far above many of the newcomers. They’ve been around since the beginning, and I have an even deeper connection with Nat because I could identify with her as a woman. She didn’t have superpowers, but she wasn’t the damsel in distress, and I found a lot of power in that.
That entire scene had me on the very edge of my seat, and it left everyone else in the theater the same way. Even going back to watch it, I’m still on the edge of my seat, even though I know what happens. The first time around, I didn’t know who it was going to be, who was going to sacrifice themselves for the Soul Stone, and I gasping for air every time one of them made a break for the edge of the cliff thing.
Thinking about that scene still gives me chills. Thinking about how Clint was holding onto her arm as tightly as he could and nat was sitting there, not even trying to hold on. Ugh. It makes me so fucking emotional. I don’t give a fuck. Natasha went out a fucking hero. She sacrificed herself for the greater good, knowingly. I know a lot of people are like, “they did her dirty” but I prefer this death to one at the hands of Thanos. She sacrificed for something she loves: her team, her family. She sacrificed so that Clint wouldn’t have to, so that he could be with his family when they were brought back. The MCU did Natasha dirty by not giving her a movie earlier on, but this death was selfless and heroic, just like Natasha. She died a hero, and no one can change my mind on that.
I’m crying.
Wait.
Ok, so seeing Clint break down and cry was not my favorite thing.
AND THEN THEY GET BACK, AND EVERYONE IS SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT NATASHA’S DEATH! SAME! LET’S BE SAD TOGETHER!
Steve cries: mood.
Hulk throws shit: mood.
So, gauntlet 2.0 is built, and Prof. Hulk puts that shit on and ruins himself. Good job!
Nebula 1.0, who is pretending to be Nebula 2.0, brings Thanos to the future, which is not the best. I was just in shock by the amount of fuckery going on. Like, I didn’t understand any of the time stuff, and if anyone claims they did, they’re lying. Or they’re smart.
Prof. Hulk reverse snaps his fingers, and everything is good again! Birds are chirping, Laura’s calling for Clint, the sun is shining, Thanos’ ship is shooting at the Avengers facility, and he’s being a little prick. Everything’s back to normal.
I was low-key nervous that Hulk, Rocket, and Rhodey were gonna drown under the rubble of the facility, and I was not impressed. But when Scott was like, “yo, I’m on my way,” I was ready for snack-sized Ant-Man to go full on King-Sized Ant-Man again. I was ready.
Thanos sitting outside on a rock, looking like he was ready to kick puppies or some shit. He just wants to be the worst version of himself, I swear to butt!
Thor, Tony, and Steve fighting Thanos was what I signed up for. Like, Clint’s doing the hundred meter dash beneath the facility, and he’s being chased by weight lizard/gorilla/alien hybrids. Then, we have the holy trinity putting Thanos in his place.
Wild.
STEVE.
ROGERS.
CAPTAIN.
AMERICA.
WIELDING.
MJOLNIR.
WAS.
EVERYTHING.
CHANGE.
MY.
MIND.
As soon as that hammer lifted up off the ground, gasps could be heard all throughout the theater. I heard people gasping halfway around the world. People woke up from REM sleep just to gasp. They didn’t know what they were gasping about, but they felt the power of what was happening. I died but was resurrected just to continue gasping.
When Mjolnir was thrown and bounced back only to show that it was thrown by Steve, THE THEATER SCREAMED SO GODDAMN LOUD THAT WE WERE ABOUT TO BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE PLACE. IT WAS LIKE CHRIS EVANS HIMSELF HAD WALTZED IN, PLEDGED TO MARRY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ROOM, AND ALSO GAVE THEM $38 TRILLION A PIECE. IT WAS MONUMENTAL. THE GROUND SHOOK. WE CAUSED THE WHOLE PLANET OF JUPITER TO QUAKE. SOMEONE SHOULD CHECK TO SEE IF IT STILL EXISTS BECAUSE THE CHEERS AND THE SCREAMS WERE ENOUGH TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE PLANET. IT WAS THE WILDEST MOMENT. THE BEST MOMENT. THE MOMENT WE HAD ALL BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE CAP NUDGED THAT FUCKING HAMMER IN AGE OF ULTRON. THIS WAS THE MOMENT!
Then, we get one of the most epic scenes in cinema history.
Steve using Mjolnir and his shield at the same time, summoning lightning and kicking Thanos straight in the dick (figuratively). It was the wildest ride. I swear, people started punting each other across the room because they were so excited. I wanted someone to punch me in the face because I was so hyped. There was just a lot going on.
Then, Steve starts to lose to Thanos, and I was not ready. I was like, “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOPE! I DO NOT LIKE THIS! I WANT TO LEAVE! STOP IT!”
“On your left” - Sam Wilson, 2k14
“On your left” -Sam Wilson, 2k19 or like 2k24 because it’s 5 years in the future. Or is it 2k23 because the 5 year skip came almost right after the events of Infinity War? I don’t know what year it is. Help.
Anyway. Beautiful.
THEN THOSE PORTALS START POPPING UP, AND I WAS LIKE:
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I had goosebumps seeing ALL of these characters on screen. It was bittersweet not having Natasha there, but it was such a beautiful moment. That moment wouldn’t have existed if it wasn’t for her. I will give her credit always!
“AVENGERS...Assemble” -Steve “The Guy With America’s Ass” Rogers with the line we’ve all been waiting for since the beginning. It’s been a long time coming, but we got it...finally. Once again, the theater screamed, jupiter exploded, the farthest star swallowed itself, it was a lot.
Tony and Pepper fighting back to back in their suits.
Give my heart a break.
The all lady team up. I get that it was a bit on the nose. I feel like it would’ve been cooler if no words were spoken but all the female cast members just started to line up behind Captain Marvel. I was more than okay with this, though. That scene was cool as shit to see all my ladies lining up to kick some the purple nutsacks ass.
“I am inevitable” -Thanos, that little punk bitch.
“I am Iron Man” -Iron Man, 2008
“I am Iron Man” -Endgame, 2019
Everyone in the theater opening night was like “WWWWHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! YEAAAAAHHHHH!” including me when Tony snapped those little fingers. It was the best line that could’ve been delivered before that snap, but no one saw what was coming. People continued to lose their shit as Thanos’ army was dusted. It was poetic justice. And when Thanos got dusted, everyone continued to “WWWWWHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YAAAAAAASSSSSS!” including myself. This changed the second night. As the theater erupted, my ass was sitting there like “NO, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN! STOP CHEERING!” as I’m holding back adult sobs!
Then.
The camera found Tony.
The cheering died instantly.
The theater got so fucking quiet.
I could feel my heartbeat in my throat.
I could hear the collective heartbreak around the theater.
We had won.
However, we also lost.
I can’t talk about it. I can’t write about it. I just cannot. Of all the people I thought would go, he was low on the list. I was almost certain that Steve would be ripped away from me, but I never thought that this would happen. I’m not okay. I’m really sad. I’m not smad anymore. I’m just sad as shit. Rhodey, Peter, and Pepper getting their moments with him only hurt my heart even more, and I can’t. I’M CRYING AGAIN! I’M NEVER GONNA STOP!
“You can rest now” -PEPPER POTTS
TONY STARK DESERVED BETTER! HE WENT OUT A HERO, BUT I CANNOT! I WILL NEVER BE OKAY ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
“I love you 3000” -TONY FUCKING STARK’S MESSAGE TO HIS LITTLE DAUGHTER. I’M GONNA PUKE! SOMEONE THROW ME AWAY! I’M DEFECTIVE! HELP!
“Your dad liked cheeseburgers. I’m gonna buy you all the cheeseburgers you want” -Happy to Morgan, fucking my entire world up.
“Proof Tony Stark Has a Heart”
It was so touching to see that every hero was gathered there to pay homage to a hero. It was such a beautiful scene. Seeing everyone there just felt like the twist of the knife in my cold, dying heart. It was great. I loved it.
I’m convinced that the only people who didn’t cry in these scenes were stone cold killers, and I will refuse to believe otherwise until I’m dead and gone. Like, my father cried during these scenes (Nat’s death, Tony’s death, and Tony’s funeral), and it takes...a lot to get tears out of him. I cried the entire ending. Like, the scene with Wanda and Clint. Ugh. I can’t take this anymore. I didn’t stop crying, even as Thor was giving the throne over to Valkyrie (she deserves it, yaaaaaasssss kween), or as he had his moment with the Guardian’s of the Galaxy. I continued to cry when Steve and Bucky had their moment that parallelled “Captain America, The First Avenger”
“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back” - Bucky, CATFA
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you” -Steve, CATFA
“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back” -Steve, AE
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you” -Bucky, AE
I UGLY CRIED AGAIN BECAUSE I JUST FUCKING KNEW WHAT STEVE WAS GONNA DO. HE WAS GONNA USE THE FOURTH VIAL OF PYM PARTICLES TO DO WHAT HE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. HE WAS GONNA GET THAT FUCKING DANCE! AND BUCKY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON!
That’s why this little shit wasn’t surprised to see that Steve hadn’t come back on time.
I was high-key hoping that Bucky would receive the title of Captain America. He’s held the shield in virtually every movie he had the chance to. Both him and Sam Wilson hold the title in the comics, and I felt like this could be a new arc for Bucky. Like, he needed this redemption. It was still gonna be bittersweet no matter what because Steve Rogers has always been the version of Captain America I love the most. When Bucky urged Sam to go see Steve, he knew that Sam was the man for the job.
Old man Steve is a silver fox. Change my mind.
I think it’s partially the voice, ngl.
So, I really don’t understand the time stuff, especially with an old man Steve in the future, so I don’t really get how it didn’t change everything with him being old af during the events of the Avengers, AOU, CATWS, CACW, IW, literally all of it. I just...don’t understand? But I don’t care because at least he got his happily ever after. Steve was a man out of time, and he did his time as a hero. He deserved happiness, and he found that with Peggy. I saw that some people were like “BUT HE ABANDONED HIS FRIENDS!” Steve did his time, and he deserved to have his happily ever after, just like Tony got to do for a while with Pepper and Morgan.
And he finally got his dance.
And the credits.
The fucking credits.
All of the original cast members signed their names.
And of course, RDJ was last.
Everyone cheered, yelled, screamed, and cried. It was another earthquake, Jupitergate, Supernova kind of moment.
And that little sound at the end. Tony making his first Iron Man suit. I have a glimmer of hope that it’s Harley building his own suit to become Iron Lad because why would they put him in this movie if they aren’t going to do anything with him in the future? Each of these movies has had a post-credit scene with a hint as to what will happen in the future of Marvel, and a piece of me is so content if this truly just ended with a callback to the past, to the man who started it all.
I didn’t stop crying until I got in the car with my friends, scream-sobbed, and then had to pull it together in order to drive and not die in a fiery car wreck even though that would’ve been better than going back to the theater again and again to have my heart shattered even more.
I’m never gonna be okay again, but this is it. This marks the end of my childhood, even though I’m in my 20’s now. The comics, the movies, the merch, it all symbolized my childlike wonder. I know that Marvel will continue making movies, but these were the heroes I fell in love with. Before the release of the first Iron Man, I had fallen in love with the comic book personas of these characters. Iron Man, Captain America, Spider-Man, Hulk, Thor, Hawkeye, Black Widow, FUCKING MOON KNIGHT (I need a Moon Knight movie, ngl) were all characters I fell in love with (there’s a lot more, but I’m too emotional to sit here and list every single one of them). Then, actors who felt like they were made for these roles brought my favorite characters to life. With this being the end of the superheroes I loved growing up, it’s essentially marking the end of my childhood. I grew up reading these comics, and I watched the movies as they came out in theaters with my dad. Now, I go with my dad, with friends, with my uncle, my brother. Sometimes I see them alone if it’s the fifth or sixth time seeing it. Still, this marks the end of an era, and I have so much appreciation in my heart for these actors who brought to life my heroes. I have so much love in my heart for Stan Lee, who made my life one filled with superheroes and childlike wonder. This journey has meant the world to me, but every journey has an end. I will continue to watch the movies that have come out and will watch the new movies as they are released, but there will always be a little something missing. Either way, I will continue to support this franchise for all the happiness it has given to me over the years and all the happiness it will continue to give.
RDJ, we love you 3000.
Excelsior!
36 notes · View notes
spideyy-girl · 5 years
Text
Let Me In ~ Winter Soldier!Bucky Barnes
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Request: Hi!!! I was wondering if I could request a song fic with wintersoldier! bucky x reader? The song is called Lily by Alan Walker, K-391, & Emelie Hollow. I’ve been listening to it nonstop lately. Thank you!!
Song: Lily - Alan Walker, K-391, Emelie Hollow
Summary: Bucky feels stuck with hydra always controlling him, and he can’t quite get a grip of himself. One day he escapes and finds someone that could change his life.
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Warnings: Sad Bucky, HYDRA being a bitch (as per usual), sorta sad but fluffy-ish ending
Word Count: 4526 (12.6 pages) long af
Date: March 31, 2019
A/N: thanks anon now I’m obsessed with this song too lol. Also, I didn’t know which character you wanted to be “Lily”, but I feel like it suited Bucky better with the whole locked in his super soldier mindset thingy. Hope it makes sense? Hopefully this is what you wanted, and if it isn’t, I’d be more than happy to rewrite it to better suit you! Also sorry if it sorta sucks I was running out of ideas :/
This takes place a few months after CA: Civil War, with a little bit of Infinity War reference at the end.
Lily was a little girl Afraid of the big wide world She grew up within her castle walls
Bucky laid in his board stiff bed, eyes baring straight up into the ceiling above him, a dull beige colour with pipes running along it. He raked his mind, over and over again, trying to remember anything he could. Hydra was starting to get in his head, and he had started to think of what had happened before hydra made him who he is today.
A monster, a murderer. A soldier.
Now and then she tried to run And then on the night with the setting sun She went in the woods away All afraid, all alone
He always thought the word was quite a stretch, aren’t soldiers supposed to help people? He asked in his head. Although his commander says that what they do is to help others, he didn’t feel like that was truly the case. But he didn’t dare say that, not unless if he wanted to be strapped down in that room again, tortured until his mind was a blank slate with nothing but kill.
He hated it. He couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted out.
From the little things he could remember of his past life, he feels happiness, laughter rings in his ears. There’s one little blonde guy that seems to appear a few times as well. But those are just flashes. He needed answers. And he needed them now.
He sat up from his position on his bed and looked out the window, watching the sun turning from light blue to pastel pinks and oranges. He looked the opposite way, out the open door and into the empty cold hallway. He saw this as his chance. He stood up with haste, grabbing his gun from its place under his bed and shooting the window. As he was climbing out, he heard security screaming the only name he knew.
“Soldier! Get your ass back in here!” He heard his commander yell at him, before hearing the familiar sound of the loading gun. As if second nature, Bucky lifted up his own gun and shot out 3 bullets, hitting his targets with practised perfection, before slipping out and running into the abandoned woods outside of the compound. He was free. Finally free.
They warned her, don’t go there There’s creatures who are hiding in the dark Then something came creeping It told her, don’t you worry
Bucky walked for what felt like days, looking for anything, anyone. Maybe even someone that might help him rediscover his past. The blonde boy from his leftover memories kept flashing through his head. He must know something. So that was Bucky’s new target.
He continued to wander, thoughts running through his head, crowding his brain so much he couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t hear the sound of quickly paced footsteps, he couldn’t see the shining brightness of the nearing lantern.
“Hello?” the girl questioned again, putting the lantern up as she continued to walk closer. “Sir? Are you ok?”
The soft sound of her worrying voice triggered him, taking him out of the depths of his mind and causing him to raise his gun, merely missing the woman and hitting the light beside her, causing it to go out. “Holy shit!” she screamed, dropping the shattered object to the murky woodland ground. The feminine voice startled the man as well, and he quickly lowered his weapon. She looked from the shattered glass on the woodsy floor up to the soldier's weary eyes, seeing many things in only a matter of seconds. 
"Hey, I'm sorry if I scared you," she whispered, trying to get closer to him, trying to help. He looked like he could use some. "I know you must be concerned, lost maybe. I just wanted to help you." Her words were gentle and held an unfamiliar comfort in them, making him let down his guard completely for just a few moments. He nodded, not knowing why, but not questioning his actions either.
"I'm sorry-"
"There's no need for that," she quickly reassured, cutting off his unnecessary apology. She reached out her hand towards him, in a welcoming matter instead of the usual threatening one he received. "Now, I have a little cottage just a bit down. I don't mean to sound... weird or anything, but you're more than welcome to stay the night and I'll get you some food before you continue on whatever journey you're going through at the moment." She said with kindness, a matching smile adorned her beautiful face. He couldn't refuse, so, of course, he didn't.
Follow everywhere I go Top over the mountains or valley low Give you everything you’ve been dreaming of Just let me in, ooh Everything you wantin' gonna be the magic story you've been told And you’ll be safe under my control Just let me in, ooh Just let me in, ooh
Bucky stayed with the girl he met in the woods, whose name he learned was Y/N. She told Bucky that she lived in New York and that she was going back next weekend, and offered for him to stay with her until then. Bucky told her about his blonde friend, and how he was trying to find him. Of course, he refused to tell her about his super soldier past. Bucky felt an odd sense of protection around her. He felt as if he could trust her, like he already knew her for many years.
Bucky sat at the round wooden table, the room was dimly lit by a weak ceiling fan, the only sound coming from the scraping of the metal spoon against the bowl filled with warm soup in front of him. The annoying sound was almost white noise to him as he stared at the girl visible from the other room, presumably the kitchen, preparing for food for him. The girl felt eyes boring into the back of her head, and she smiled and poured out her own cup of soup and took a sit with him. They sat in silence for a while, both enjoying their meals, before the silence was broken by the super soldier.
"It's good," he said, his voice quieter than what he remembered. The girl looked up, a slight hue of red across her cheeks as a smile spread against her innocent looking face. 
"So he speaks," she teased, her bowl completely forgotten about at this point. She put her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands as she observed him in the (not so) better light. "So, you want to talk about what was happening out there? I thought you had to be on something but.. it doesn't look like it." She told him, observing his mannerism or any other signs that might help her find out what a handsome man was doing somewhere like here. Bucky gave her a quick skeptical look but proceeded with explaining the odd circumstances in which they met.
"I'm... I'm looking for a friend," he said in a small voice, avoiding eye contact. "I'm not sure where I am." She sighed, reaching out to grab his hand, trying to comfort him. He flinched back from her touch but let her take his rough palm in her soft, rather small one. 
"Ok, listen," she said, squeezing his hand and rubbing her thumb against the "I can't guarantee that your friend will be in New York, but I may have some friends who can help. I just want to let you know, I'm not trying to hurt you Bucky." She said with a smile. Bucky frowned and took his hand out of her grip.
"How did you know my name?" he said, his free hand gliding down to the hidden knife on his thigh. Y/N giggled, but her eyebrows furrowed.
"You told me, don't you remember?" She said, looking concerned for him. Bucky stopped his movements, shaking his head and offering her an apologetic smile and nodded, looking at the floor. "It's ok, there's probably a lot going on in there. C'mon, I'll show you the spare room, leave you to get comfy. You look like you could use some rest." She got up, the old wooden chairs scratching against the laminate floor, Bucky following in suit going down the hallway and examining his new victorian looking room. He smiled and gave a quick thanks to the girl before closing the door, going to sit on the double bed.
On the other side on the bedroom door and down the narrow hallway, Y/N sat in the small living room, picking up the telephone and dialling a well-remembered number. The familiar deep scruff voice picked up the phone with a 'hello?'. "Steve? I think we found our guy." She stated in a soft voice, so the man she met that day wouldn't hear. "And I think he remembers us."
She knew she was hypnotized And walking on cold thin ice Then it broke, and she awoke again
Bucky woke up to the bright sunlight shining through his window the next morning. He rolled off the bed, his instincts telling him to grab for his gun and get suited up for today's mission, that is until he bumped into the tall dresser, which came tumbling down towards him. Luckily, he caught it, but the insides fell out, creating a large crashing sound. Bucky cringed, before pushing the cabinet back up against the wall and trying to stuff the contents back into it. Suddenly the door opened with Y/N showing on the other side, her hair in a messy bun and an apron wrapped around her waist. She saw the current situation and gave out a small chuckle.
"I make you food and give you a bed to sleep in, and in return you decide to trash my house," Y/N jokes with him, rushing over and helping him clean up. Bucky looked at her with a guilty smile, and she rolled her eyes, her grin only getting wider. "Come on, I made you some breakfast before we head out. I hope you like pancakes?" A confused look came on his face as he put the last of the things away before following the girl outside the room.
"Never had them," he said. As he walked into the dining room he was greeted with the best smell in his life, his stack of pancakes placed neatly on the dining room table. She gasped, before pushing him towards the table and seating him on the chair, placing a fork and knife in front of him. 
"I like to think mine are pretty great," she said excitedly, placing a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see the girl beaming back at them, before nodding to the breakfast food. "They're my favourite. Go on, eat up!" She smiled before patting his shoulder and going back to finish packing her suitcase. Bucky ate as if hasn't in months, more than satisfied with the sweet treat. Y/N giggled as she saw him scarf down the pancakes, grabbing a plate of her own and going to sit beside him, starting on her own.
"So, tell me more about your friend," Y/N said as she set her fork down after finishing her pancake. Bucky looked up at her, before swallowing what pancake he had left in his mouth and beginning to talk. A good sign.
"He's small, blonde, umm..." Bucky started, trying to kick start his memory, anything else he knew. He saw Y/N across the table tilt her head, slightly resembling a lost puppy, he couldn't help but think. "Truth is, I don't know much about him. But I remember him, from my past." Bucky tried to explain.
"Your past?" Y/N questioned further, trying not to sound suspicious. Bucky looks down and nods. "Did something... happen in between?" Bucky looked up at her, being cautious of what his next words would be. He didn't want to scare her off.
"You can call it that," he said in a whisper. "I can't remember much of my last few years." He tried to explain, Y/N nodded in understanding.
"Like long term memory loss?" She kept questioning. He nodded his head, his long hair falling in front of his face. Y/N's face changed, her eyes going soft as she reached over and pushed his hair out of the way, startling the boy. He's never been shown this type of affection. She blushed and took her hand away, mumbling a sorry. The room stayed in silence for another few minutes, before broken by Y/N.
"I'm sure you'll find him, Bucky," she said, offering a hopeful smile towards him. He looked up and gave her a small smile back. Y/N stood up and took their plates and cleaned up a bit as Bucky took the extra time to freshen up a bit, before trying to get some research done on what might've happened to him before. Maybe it will give him a hint as of where to go.
The week went by relatively fast, and Y/N did everything she could to help Bucky find what could've happened to him and his friend before HYDRA took him back and brainwashed him once again. Of course, Bucky didn't reveal that certain detail to Y/N. Soon enough, Friday afternoon had reached and Y/N was packing her small buggy car and the two now closely bonded pair went on their way home. Well, Y/N's home at least, or what he was told was her home.
Then she ran faster than Start screaming, is there someone out there? Please help me Come get me Behind her, she can hear it say
The week went by relatively fast, and Y/N did everything she could to help Bucky find what could've happened to him and his friend before HYDRA took him back and brainwashed him once again. Of course, Bucky didn't reveal that certain detail to Y/N. Soon enough, Friday afternoon had reached and Y/N was packing her small buggy car and the two now closely bonded pair went on their way home. Well, Y/N's home at least, or what he was told was her home.
Y/N was oddly silent throughout the ride. Music played in the background as Bucky kept stealing glances at the girl beside him, she seemed almost nervous. He pushed it off as normal, thinking that he would probably be nervous taking someone he only met a few days prior to his house. But that's wasn't what was running through the Y/H/C's head.
Y/N was starting to wonder if she should maybe turn back, feeling as if she was selling the man off. Of course, she knew what she was doing was for his own good, which is the only reason why she kept on the crowded highway. But she had made a bond with Bucky, and she was hoping this wouldn't ruin anything that's been growing between them. Especially if the said bond would eventually grow into a more than friendship thing. Hopefully, her colleagues would be ok with it.
"You alright?" he asked, looking at the girl in concern. Y/N shook her head, trying to shake her thoughts out of her brain. She put on a smile and gave him a quick nod.
"Yeah, I'm fine. A little bit nervous." She laughed, though it sounded uneasy. The music seemed to get louder in the sudden silence as Bucky slowly put his hand on her leg, not in a very implying way, just as a sign of comfort. He felt her relax under his touch and she turned her head to give him a smile. Within another few minutes she pulled into an underground garage park of a tall glass building, with a bit of a weird structural design, Bucky thought to himself. Y/N took her suitcases out of her trunk, which Bucky quickly took out of her hands, claiming: "a pretty girl doesn't have to carry her own bags. Just let me be a gentleman."
They got into the nice elevator, which had plenty of levels. Y/N pressed a button closer to the top, and the sliding doors closed and it jolted before smoothly going up. AC/DC came through the speakers, of course, considering the building they were in. After a minute or two, the metal box stopped and the doors slid open again. The first thing Bucky realized when he walked out with Y/N, was that they were not alone, and he realized this probably isn't her real apartment.
At the sound of the elevator dinging across the room, Steve Rogers halted his talking with Sam, Wanda, Natasha, and Clint. Everyone's eyes darted towards the two new people who entered the room. Bucky's eyes widened as he saw the one and only Captain America. He looked between him and Y/N, who was walking over to hug Wanda, a close friend of hers.
"Y/N, what the hell is going on," Bucky asked once Y/N broke apart from the Scarlet Witch, grabbing her shoulder and turning her towards him, but not too harshly. Y/N diverted her gaze and sighed, looking down before meeting his gaze. HEr eyes looked like they were starting to water.
"I'm just trying to help, Buck," she said, reaching for his hand. He pulled it away from her, taking a step back. He looked up at Steve, he knew it was his blonde friend from his almost ancient memories, even though he looked extremely different, he could tell. Actually, he recognized everyone in the room. He doesn't know from where, but he can't deny it. He scanned the room again before turning back at Y/N.
"So you did already know my name that night, didn't you?" Bucky jokes to try and ease the tension. Y/N let out a laugh, sounding relieved, before nodding. A small tear ran down her cheek.
"Yeah, you have no idea how scary that was," she smiled, and he gave her one back. He wasn't mad that she had brought him here like she originally thought. If anything he was extremely thankful. For the first time in his life, he felt safe. Y/N spoke again, raising her hand as if to present the other people in the room. "Well, Bucky, meet the Avengers. Or a part of them at least.
Follow everywhere I go Top over the mountains or valley low Give you everything you’ve been dreaming of Just let me in, ooh Everything you wantin' gonna be the magic story you've been told And you’ll be safe under my control Just let me in, ooh Just let me in, ooh
The team went back the large glass table in the back of the room with Y/N and Bucky, to discuss the plan to send Bucky to Wakanda. Steve explained that Y/N would accompany him there, to make sure he stays safe and doesn't go back into Winter Soldier mode again. Bucky was a bit reluctant at first, but with a little bit of convincing from Y/N, he agreed to the plan. The two went to Y/N's room, where she would pack the remaining of her stuff for the trip, and Bucky would pack his new clothes and leftover personal belongings he left there.
"So, you're an Avenger too?" He asked as he neatly folded a t-shirt before placing it in his suitcase. "Got a special power or anything?" Y/N giggled, a sound Bucky had grown accustomed to already.
"Yes I am an avenger," Y/N said, feeling proud. "I can jump through and manipulate space." Bucky looked back at the girl, obviously confused with what she said. She rolled her eyes, a goofy smile coming on her lips. "Basically I can teleport and move objects," she dumbed it down for the 100-year-old man, to which he nodded, an 'ah' coming from his mouth, before looking at her and giving her a smile.
"Sounds pretty badass," he commented, a smirk on his lips as he left his packing for a second to go walk towards her. Y/N laughed at the comment, dropping the jeans she was folding and turning to the taller man as well. She gave a nonchalant shrug.
"I guess so," she said. He smiled down at her, thinking of how cute she was. His hand reached out and grabbed her own, which she gladly accepted with a small squeeze. She glanced at their interlocked hands before looking back up into his brown eyes again, which seemed closer to her than they were a second ago. "I hope you don't mind me going with you to Wakanda. I'm sure you'd rather it be Steve but I'll try and be just as good of a company as he is. I've always wanted to go to Wakanda too, I've heard it's stunning and they've got really amazing technology. I'm sure you'll find it interesting as well. Maybe that might not make up for Steve but-"
Y/N's excessive nervous ramblings were cut off by Bucky, or his mouth did. Bucky's kiss was soft, his hand still caressing the back of her hand as the other one reached up to her jaw. Y/N's hands reached up to his long hair, running her fingers through the surprisingly soft locks. The pulled apart after a few second, foreheads leaning against each other. Y/N kept her eyes closed, but her smile grew slowly more evident on her face. Bucky couldn't help his own grin when he saw this. 
"Trust me, I'm more than happy that I'm going with you," he said in a whisper, but just loud enough for the girl to hear. This only increased the growing smile on her face, so much that her cheeks were starting to hurt. But she didn't mind. "I wouldn't want anyone else."
Everything you wantin' gonna be the magic story you’ve been told (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) And you’ll be safe under my control Just let me in, ooh
*A FEW YEARS LATER*
Bucky awoke from the bright Wakandian sun shining through the large window. He couldn't complain about his new life, as if he never escaped HYDRA he'd be waking up to the same annoying alarms and slaps on the back by upper officers. Bucky stretched his arms over his head, a soft groan passing his lips.
"Good morning sleeping beauty," he heard a raspy voice coo from his chest. There lay his amazing girlfriend of almost 5 years, Y/N, looking up at him in adoration. He smiled and left a kiss on the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her exposed waist as she cuddled into his bare chest again.
"Morning, darling," he whispered, giving her another kiss on the cheek before meeting her lips. He could feel her smile into it. The cute moment was broken by a knock on the bedroom door, followed by a voice.
"Sargeant Barnes, Miss L/N, they're here." Shuri's voice came from behind the giant metal doors. Y/N groaned before sitting up, followed by her boyfriend as they got changed, exchanging in light conversation and a few stolen pecks here and there. The couple walked out together, meeting Okoye, a fierce warrior and the commander of the Dora Milaje, and T'Challa, the king of Wakanda and a new close friend. As they met, the group walked out of the grand doors to be met by big quinjet and an all too familiar group of people. T'Challa talked to the remaining of the Avengers about what seemed like a defence plan.
"You will have my Kingsguard, the Border Tribe, the Dora Molaje, and..." T'Challa stopped speaking and motioned towards the pair walking towards them.
"A semi-stable 100-year-old man," Bucky said as he walked towards them. Y/N kept beside him, Bucky's hand placed on the small of her back. He removed it to go over to hug his old friend, as Y/N took the chance to say hi and give hugs to the rest of her team, her family.
"How you been, guys," Steve said as he hugged Y/N, She happily gave him a tight hug, as Steve was like a brother to her. Y/N returned to Bucky's side as he wrapped his metal arm around her waist protectively 
"Uh, not bad," Bucky said as he looked down to the incredible woman beside him. She looked up at him as well, offering him a smile as she briefly leaned on his shoulder.
"For the end of the world, at least," she finished, causing Bucky to roll his eyes, though a smirk was still on his face, and Steve let out a chuckle. The reunited team head inside to speak of how to get Vision's stone out of his head. Bucky and Y/N soon departed to go with the Kingsguard to speak of a gameplan. Bucky and Y/N suited up, getting ready for probably the biggest battle of their lives.
"You sure you'll be alright?" Bucky asked her, slightly worried as he saw her practising her spatial jumps around the room. Y/N teleported right in front of him, a smirk coming across her lips.
"Might I remind you, I am a former Avenger and all-time badass," she joked, wrapping her arms around his neck, to which he automatically put his around her waist. Bucky laughed.
"You remind me at least twice a day, Y/N," he snapped back. The girl feigned a hurt expression, before letting out a laugh. Bucky let go and reached for his gun and soon, an alarm went off from Y/N' kimoyo bracelet, signalling the threat has finally arrived. Y/N sighed, looking over at her partner, and gave him a soft smile.
"Time to go," she said quietly. Bucky gave her a sad smile, not wanting to think of what might happen to either of them out there. He grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. Y/N quickly responded, her hands going up to his hair and his shoulder. He pulled apart before resting his forehead on hers.
"I love you, Y/N," he whispered to her, his hands still on her jawline. She smiled up at him, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "So much."
"I love you, too, Bucky," she said, a tear slipping from her eye. Bucky wiped it off with his thumb and Y/N sniffed, parting from him as she stood up straighter and grabbed her knives. She grinned at Bucky one last time before the terrible events that happened during the Battle of Wakanda. "Now, let's go kick some alien ass."
Follow everywhere I go Top over the mountains or valley low Give you everything you’ve been dreaming of Just let me in, ooh Then she ran faster than Start screaming, is there someone out there? Please help me Just let me in, ooh
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userdokja · 5 years
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The girl who fell between two worlds 5/?{Avengers x Reader}
summary: y/n only has two days left, and she in those two days she discovers many things from the past, and some forgotten memories.
warning: cringe af, don’t say i didn’t warn you, angst? fluff? ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, not edited.
it’s been two weeks since y/n came in this world, she received a not saying she had 3 weeks and now she only has one and it was easy, easier than she thought it would be, she had fun with the others of course, but she didn’t tell them about the recent letter.
Bruce worked on the memory card while Steve was teaching y/n to control and to fight without using her powers, Peter also helped y/n through school, the bullies apologized because the one and only Tony Stark talked to them in person, When Bruce was finished, Y/n was the first to be called.
“So, What is this?” He scrolled through the number of movies tat as saved.
“Marvel Movies.” She gasped, “This is where I knew you guys, but unfortunately it’s not much of a help since, It’s different here.”
“Would you mind if we watch some?” they looked at each other.. Deciding if they should.
“Sure.”
 a few days later Y/n was finally allowed to go to a mission with Tony, She was happy of course but was told not to do anything reckless, it was another easy mission, according to y/n. 
“What’s the plan again y/n?” Tony asked her Hoping that she remembers everything.
“Uh.. Kick names Take ass.” Nope, she didn’t understand a single thing.
“Just-- Stay close okay?” 
and she did exactly what she’s told, It wasn’t fun burning faces, she apologized every time she does it.
“y/n stop apologizing, they had it coming.” Bucky said.
“Sorry.” She replied and  bucky sighed.
Suddenly, a weird robot came towards Tony and y/n.
“Whoa.” She was surprised but it didn’t show through her mask, She quickly attacked, because Tony was too occupied with the others, The machine charged at her but she quickly dodged his attacks, Soon, she melted his right hand off, When Tony was finished with his fight he helped her with hers, blasting the Giant robot here and there, they defeated it in no time.
Tony continued to bring her on missions, and she agreed every time because she knew she only has a few days left, Bruce and Y/n studied every similarities of the Avengers to the movie, they tried to find out who she was supposed to save, and how, but nothing, nothing helped.
On the last two days, y/n knew that if she failed to save that someone there would be consequences, So before all those she visited all of them, because she didn’t want to miss the opportunity, When she reached the Xavier mansion, she looked for the professor, and when he saw her, he immediately knew.
“Y/n L/n.. It’s a pleasure to see you again.” 
again? she thought.
“yes, A long time ago.. You also came to us. And when before you left you promised to be back, and here you are.” he chuckled. “I guess you want some explanations?” he asked and she nodded.
they went to the professor’s office and she sat down in front of the table.
“It was Cuba, You were there, you were one of the first recruit, you said things about watching a movie about us when you were a teen, you get letters..” he pulled out three orange envelopes and placed it on the table, “I remember the last one scared us all..” he gave her the third letter and she carefully read it.
y/n, 
your mission is over and you unfortunately didn’t succeed,
but knowing that you’ve grown attached to them,
We’ll give you two choices, 
live here, or back there?
but if you choose to be back there you wouldn’t remember anything about this,
if here you won’t remember a thing about living your normal life.
I hope you choose the right one.
“we wanted you to stay, all of us did, but you said it was dangerous, that I couldn’t walk because of you.” 
“why did I say that?” she asked.
“because.. You tried to block the bullet but, I didn’t let you to, and you blamed yourself, I’m sorry, y/n it was all my fault.” Charles apologized and she shook her head,
“No, it wasn’t your fault, I made the choice, Thank you for telling me this.” 
The day ended and you made your way back to the tower, everyone was free and they were having a party, even Nick Fury and agent hill. 
“Y/N! how was your day?” Pepper hugged her.
“It was fine, I visited a few people...” Both of them walked inside and talked with the others, they laughed, played some games, until they were all quiet and sat in the living room, in one bug circle as if they were children playing games.
The hammer was in the middle of the circle and everyone knew what to do.
“So this is some kind of worthiness check?” y/n joked and everyone laughed.
“Who wanna go first?” Peter asked, and everyone looked at him daringly, and his smiled dropped, “Well.. I don’t wanna go... first at least.”
Nick tried first, he gripped the handle and tried to lift it, but no luck.
everyone tried and nothing, when it was peter’s turn everyone cheered, she could hear him talking to himself saying;
“I can do this, phew.” but nope, nothing, he groaned and sat back down frowning.
“y/n its your turn.” Thor said, she sighed and moved closer to the hammer, she held the handle and lifted, gasps filled the room, including hers.
her eyes met Thor’s and said, “whoops.” She dropped the hammer and everyone was silent.
“so, You’re worthy?” Peter asked, and she nodded.
“It was still heavy though, So I think It just lasted for a minute or two.” After that there were more games, and they were happy, smiling, laughing, but y/n’s smile dulled as she remembered she only has one more day left, but she made sure she was going to save who she was supposed to save.
when she woke up, she was laying on the floor of her bed. then a knock echoed through the room.
“yes?” she sat up and rubbed her eyes.
“Uh.. Emergency mission, you need to wake up.” It was Sam, then she yelled back.
“yeah, how much time do I have?” 
“an hour before the meeting.” she groaned and got ready as fast as she could.
A Senator’s daughter was kidnapped and used as bait for the Avengers,so all of them was there except for Thor,Loki, Peter, Bucky Wanda and Vis. But  It wasn’t Hydra, Just some dude who’s asking for the super serum,  
when she heard all this she couldn’t help buy say, “what a Lunatic.” 
“but The Lunatic Has some minions and kidnapped the Senator’s Daughter..” Sam says, “ so Lunatic genius.”
As usual their base was somewhere in the middle of the woods, everyone was in their positions and this time y/n wasn’t anywhere neat Tony.
“Y/n just because we are far away from each other doesn’t mean you’re going to be reckless.. okay?” 
“fine.”
Tony was the one who’s going to fly the girl out of the building, and her job was to make sure no one stops him, but she also made sure to look out for everyone since she was supposed to save one of them.
so far, everyone was at ease, and y/n reached the floor where the Kidnapped girl was, she met Tony on the way and everyone was outside fighting the men who was supposed to be back up, she followed tony into a room and saw a girl strapped with a vest of bombs.
“Did anyone know about this?”y/n asked and Steve Was the first one to reply.
“ The Bomb that’s set to explode for.. 2 minutes..” she said and walked towards the crying girl.
“We don’t have much time to stop this.. “ Tony’s Voice was shaking, Luckily, y/n thought of something, she unstrapped the bomb of the girl and threw it far away from them.
“Fly away with there, and make everyone go to our side.” she said quickly and Tony Nodded, he knew she had a plan, and he trusted her.
when everyone was together, y/n used all her strength to build a wall blocking them and burning the people on the other side, though it looked easy, it wasn’t for y/n the building was tall and she had to make the wall taller, once it was done, she dropped on her knees and sighed. she heard feet shuffling though no one moved, she turned around and saw a man pointing a gun towards her, before he could pull the trigger, she remembered what Tony said.
what if that was the dream and this was the real you?
and in that moment, the same time the trigger was pulled, and no one could do anything.. She realized, she was the one she’s supposed to save, that she was given options the first time because she was meant to stay. 
Tags: @purplekitten30 @grimmlytimelord @independentgirl @-lilacnialler-@just4muggles @baconlover001 @black-angel-bahamut  @vinadee
 so next chapter is the end? or delete all of this before i could continue?
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creideamhgradochas · 6 years
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Thanks to the lovely @whostheblondegirlwriting for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely E, go give her a follow and then show her some love!
These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!
*Disclaimer from E, herself: If you’re looking for some sage-like writery advice...keep lookin’. You won’t find it here. This whole fic writing endeavor is an adventure in “[shrugs] We’ll see what happens”. Behold! An odyssey of half-assed, one line inspo. Marvel at the absolute appalling lack of plotting and vision. Tremble at the underwhelming realization that “Huh. I could do better than that”. In short, at least you don’t pay money for this, right?
1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?
I have no idea, honestly. I signed up for AO3 to actually share it though in September 2015 when I was 36. So we’ll go with that.
2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.
I think I have done more reader inserts than OC, counting all the tumblr oneshots. But you can actually create something substantial with an OC. An OC makes you work. I prefer them.
3) What is your favorite genre to write for?
I don’t know if I’ve done enough variety to have a fav, honestly.
4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?
I wouldn’t. They’re all mine and I’m proud of each of them, no matter how popular (or maybe I should say, unpopular) they are/were.
5) When is your preferred time to write?
Whenever I have the time! I’m not picky, because time is very hard to come by with my job anymore and the fact that my husband doesn’t know I write. Morning, noon, or night for me. It can be hard to sneak it in and still get everything else done.
6) Where do you take your inspiration from?
I don’t have a good answer for this and I’m laughing to myself thinking I should have one. Lol An idea comes up and I write it. That’s it. Shameful, I know.
7) In your Back to One series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?
Oh, damn. Uhhh...I think I liked Sebastian fumbling through his confession to Lily in Montauk. But I also probably had the most fun with the “champagne incident” because it was for my tumblr-lifemate,  @ceebeetumbles.
8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?
Nope. It is what it is. You can’t please everyone and I don’t try. As long as I like it, it’s good enough. It’s not like anyone’s paying me for this, anyway. Lol
9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?
Hmm. Right now, I’d have to say Jack Rollins, because he preoccupies so much of my writing lately. Besides his own fic, he’s also featuring in an AU for Echo that’s in draft. Considering he had two lines in Winter Soldier, I’m very proud of the interest and love my Jack gets.
10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?
Chris Evans, for right now. Only because he has been less than inspirational for some time due to his relative inactivity and, uh, [ahem] some personal choices he made. But I’m optimistic he’ll come back.
11) How did you come up with the title for the Back to One series?
The main character, Lily, goes through some personal and professional ups and downs as an actress. The phrase “back to one” is a direction for actors to go back to their first mark, so I thought it was fitting, as Lily would hopefully get things right, find her best self again, and have a fresh start as she meets different situations and opportunities in her story.
12) How did you come up with the idea for the Back to One series?
I thought I’d write a Sebastian Stan fic and figured a good match for him (and someone to help drive the story) would be an actress. But then I considered an OC like Lily could have more angles to write and it became really an OC fic that features Sebastian Stan. Oops.
13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?
I haven’t ever abandoned a fic. I refuse to give up on A Touch Up and do write a line or two here and there, just nowhere near the volume I need to publish a full chapter like I used to. It ended up on the shelf because Chris Evans got so boring after Civil War premiered and the fic is literally built on what he was doing in his everyday life. I also have a personal distaste for Jenny Slate and I guess you could say his decision to date her made me doubt the version of him I’d created in ATU, which is a problem when your fic is paired so purposefully around the assumptions I/we all had made by that time about him.
14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?
I’m doing it. Echo was my pet project and, though it has my smallest following for a WIP, I had enough demand/interest for the story to be told from another character’s perspective that Jack Rollins and the STRIKE Series were born. There’ll be some unexpected things along the way in that series that I hope those fans/readers enjoy.
15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?
No. I’ve only ended a couple fics (Echo and Kindness). Everything else is still a WIP or open ended series that publishes oneshots every once in awhile. The rest of my work is basically oneshots.
16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?
Don’t laugh at me when I say I admire anyone who puts their work out there, even if it’s just a paragraph long imagine only on tumblr. It takes a lot of nerve, no matter what level your work is at or how big the scope. I’ve seen some good, bad, and ugly fic floating around, but I see value in it all and love seeing experience/determination help the writer evolve.
We ain’t all Hemingways or Shakespeares. And that’s okay. Some of the best writers don’t have thousands of followers and get hundreds of notes (but deserve them). And some of the behemoths out there aren’t necessarily turning out mind blowing fic, either. It’s a crapshoot and fandom can be fickle (if not downright confusing af).
17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?
Not at all. If it posts, I’m happy with it.
18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?
Either is fine. I probably write more in quiet, though, because my husband works 3rd shift, so I’m mindful not to disturb him.
19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?
No. Closest I could say to giving me my own feels was when I wrote The Death of Brock Rumlow (when it existed as part of the original Echo plot).
20) Which part of your Back to One series was the hardest to write?
I’m happy to say I don’t think there’s been a hard part to write for Back To One, or any of my fics. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it!
21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?
Nope. No outlines or plans. I pretty much just sit down and write. If inspiration doesn’t hit, I’ll switch to a different WIP. If I have an idea for a line or scene I might make a note for later (maybe just a few words to point me in the right direction/remind me, or a line or two of dialogue), but once I get to it, I usually just write it out at once.
22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?
How little time I’d have down the road for it. Maybe I wouldn’t have run such long WIPs/fics at a time. It feels like it’s been 100 years since I had time to open requests and I had to abandon a weekly posting schedule for 3 WIPs earlier this year because I just don’t have the time to manage the volume I used to anymore.
23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?
OMG yes! Echo and its companion fic, Jack Rollins (and I’ll probably say the same for the au/the STRIKE series). At this point, I can confidently say the following for Echo didn’t carry over to Jack Rollins, but I knew both were niche fics in the beginning anyway. I’m grateful for the attention Echo got, but it was such a labor of love, I’d have liked to see it do better. I may only have several regular readers for Jack Rollins commenting or reblogging, but those few readers and myself are the ones I wrote it for, and that I’ll keep posting it for until it’s finished, regardless of how tiny the readership because I love it.  
24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?
Not in an “oh, geez. Not that again” way. More like a “oh, stop. I can’t believe you guys like it that much” kind of humbled eye roll.
25) Are any of your characters based on real people?
Obviously the celebrities like Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, technically yeah. I have no doubt that some of my own ticks, experiences, etc have made it into a character or plot, or things from people I know or have come across. Things you don’t necessarily draw lines between on purpose but maybe catch on to later, sure.
26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?
Any of the comments or messages from people who say they cried, laughed out loud in public, got way too giddy, or held their breath because of something I wrote.  They make me so happy, just to see someone got so lost or involved in a moment means I did a good job. Having someone say they reread a fic (or are reading for the X time) is a hell of a compliment, too.
27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?
It was about A touch Up and how I had given the reader insert character, or implied, too much description (ex. noting that POC don’t blush as often as this girl did, when I wrote it as that feeling in the cheeks anyone can experience to convey her nervousness/embarrassment/etc at those points in the story so people maybe shared that sense as they read, not that she frequently ran around with a noticeable flush) and that, although I may not have said it outright, things like that apparently had made her so that she was obviously white. That ruined it for the commenter, despite there not actually being that much said about appearance in the story.
28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?
Rarely. @ceebeetumbles gets a snippet of a chapter thrown at her once in a very blue moon, if I want to be sure something isn’t too cliché or generally awful. Lol But there’s a chance she’s reading along with the fic, so I may not send the whole chapter. I don’t plot per se or collaborate with anyone though.
29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?
Just the lovely people who’ve visited me on Tumblr or AO3.
30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?
It’s a toss up between Frank Grillo’s appearance in A Touch Up and Jack Rollins or Eric Mickelson in Echo. I’m also a little fond of Drew Madison in Back To One.
31) What spurs you on during the writing process?
That I told you I’d post an update to a WIP, promised a drabble, or set a deadline that a request would be done by. So, really just my self-imposed “schedule”.
32) What’s your favorite trope to write?
I don’t really have one.
33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?
Nnnope. Lol
34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?
It’s a toss up between angst and fluff. They both come pretty easily. Honestly, smut is exhausting to write and I do so little of it because I don’t want it to be repetitive. Fluff is always fun. But, man...the possibilities with angst are pretty limitless, so maybe I’d lean a little more that way.
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fancymuffinparty · 6 years
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It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Rating: T; for language and suggestive themes
Pairing: Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Porco Galliard/Pieck
Summary: Embarrassing things always happen at Christmas parties. They just do. (Canonverse. Pokopiku. Reibert. Setting takes place after the Clash of the Titans arc and before the Return to Shiganshina arc.)
Word Count: 2457
A/N: I’m so Christmas AF right now. I’ve had the strong urge to write more pokopiku so I sat down and cranked out this holiday fluff! :) This is also my first time writing Reibert, as I’ve been wanting to do so for a realllllyyyyy long time! I just love the warriors and I’m worried about them so I wrote this to cope with my anxiety :’)
Snk 100 better not kill me, but oops, it might! :)
Side note, I’m not really sure how the peeps in the Snk universe celebrate holidays, but I’d like to think their celebrations at least somewhat resemble ours, i.e, the festival in chapter 98. This is just for funsies anywayyyy.
“You have that look on your face… What are you scheming about now, Reiner?”
Bertolt’s voice is barely above a murmur, unsure how to feel in anticipation for a response. The burly blond at his side sports an all-too familiar smirk, his arms folded across his chest.
He’s wary of the expression Reiner wears rather shamelessly, utterly certain his companion is up to no good. Against his better judgment, Bertolt directs his own sight to follow Reiner’s line of vision and instantly pieces it all together.
He’s looking back and forth between Porco and Pieck.
“It’s not a scheme,” Reiner finally replies, shaking his head. “Just an idea.”
Donning a sly grin, he turns to face Bertolt, marveling at how his visage has completely morphed from the anxiety-ridden ‘Reiner, what are you doing’ to that of the disdainful ‘I’m getting real tired of your shit, Reiner’.
He’s grown to love both looks equally.
“I have this theory…” Reiner begins.
Bertolt suppresses the urge to groan. “Go on.”
“Porco has a thing for Pieck.”
“Uh huh.” Wasn’t that obvious?
“And Pieck has a crush on Porco.”
What a groundbreaking theory, Reiner, Bertolt thinks. Marley ought to give you an award for your deduction skills.
“…okay?” he says instead.
“You see that up there?” Reiner asks, pointing out an obscure object that hangs from the ceiling. Bertolt squints a bit, rolling his eyes upon recognizing the tacky holiday ornament.
“The mistletoe?” Bertolt knows exactly where this is going now, but he keeps up with Reiner’s little guessing game so as not to dishearten the big guy.
Reiner gives a single nod, smiling wide in pure satisfaction. “Curious to see what would happen if they somehow got caught underneath it?”
“Not really,” Bertolt says with a shrug.
Reiner scoffs at Bertolt’s lack of enthusiasm. “Well I am,” he asserts, rubbing his hands together. “So let’s set this plan in motion.”
“What plan?”
“It’s simple,” Reiner insists, stepping aside to allow for clear instruction. “Get Pieck to meet you at the center table. That’ll be close enough to where the mistletoe is hanging. I’ll distract Porco as best I can, but that’ll probably piss him off so he’ll most likely try to walk away- and when he does… it’ll be too late.”
Bertolt cocks a brow, unimpressed. “What exactly are you trying to prove?”
Reiner lets out a deep breath. “How much do you wanna bet that when it comes down to it, Porco won’t be able to go through with kissing her in a room full of people?”
Bertolt huffs, believing the whole conversation to be beneath him; utterly juvenile. “So you’re theorizing that Porco won’t be able to handle the pressure?”
Reiner nods again. “Affirmative.”
One thing’s for sure. The holidays have some sort of fucked up effect on Reiner. It’s obvious his behavior has undergone drastic alterations with the latest news that they’ll be returning to Paradis for the second time after the new year.
Hell, it’s the little things they should enjoy while it lasts. Small moments to cherish in place of all the horrors and torment they’ve been exposed to.
They’re not guaranteed tomorrow, especially not when they’re warriors.
With that in mind, Bertolt realizes he could learn to live a little…
Fine.
For Reiner. He’ll put up with this for Reiner.
“I’ll take you up on that bet,” Bertolt says, dispelling a wistful sigh. I guess.
Reiner’s entire face lights up, his eyes practically as luminous as the decorated Christmas tree hoisted up in the corner of the mess hall.
Before he can brood over his decision, Bertolt articulates a concern. “What are the terms?”
Translation: “What kind of weird stuff are you gonna make me do if I lose?”
Much to his disapproval, Reiner opts to remain evasive. “We can figure that out later, Bert.” His gaze returns to the task at hand, determined to time everything out just right.
The window of opportunity is fast-approaching.
Sights momentarily fixed on Porco’s movements and Pieck’s carefree wandering, Reiner finally nods and gives Bertolt the go-ahead.
“Move out,” he commands in a subdued voice, using a half-assed salute as an unconventional signal of sorts.
At ease, Reiner, Bertolt thinks sarcastically.
He doesn’t quite remember signing up for this when he enlisted in the military. Unless it was written somewhere in fine print on ‘page whatever-billion’ of his records. You know, the thick pile of documents that no one wastes any time to actually read.
Either way, he’s determined to uphold his end of the bargain.
Taking long, slow strides toward Pieck, Bertolt quickly makes up something to say before reaching her.
“Hey, Pieck.” Bertolt pauses to look over his shoulder, instantly pinpointing Reiner’s location. There’s no yelling or cursing yet. That’s a good sign. Anyway… “How’s it going?”
Pieck greets his arrival with a warm smile. “Bertolt! Have you had the chance to try my fruit cake yet?”
Bertolt shudders at the mere thought, turning away to hide the grimace seared onto his face. He’s heard horror stories about her many attempts at baking; an adversity he swore to himself he would not fall victim to.
“Actually, no,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. It’s in that moment that he hatches an idea. He spots the horrendous-looking fruit cake at the center table-  almost exactly where Reiner instructed him to lead her.
Welp, here goes nothing.
Bertolt forces a smile. “But maybe I can try a piece now?” If worse comes to worst, he can spit it out when she’s not looking.
Pieck beams upon hearing his request, overtaken by a sudden wave of exhilaration. Perky as ever, she links her arm into his and tows him along. “Oh you’re going to love it! Zeke helped me out this time, but I did most of the work.”
Bertolt gulps. Zeke is just as useless in the kitchen. If not worse.
Wiping the single bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face, he briefly looks for the mastermind behind this whole charade while still at the mercy of Pieck’s behest. Even with the limited field of vision, he somehow manages to get a feel for the status of the situation on the other side of the room. Reiner is keeping Porco surprisingly calm, devoid of the boisterous theatrics that usually dominate their interactions.
Bertolt wonders what they’re talking about, though it’s evident that Reiner is the one doing most of the talking.
But even so… he knows how this will all play out. He’s seen it happen too many times.
Oh boy, he thinks, cringing to himself. It’s only ‘the calm before the storm’.
Any second now, Reiner’s going to hit a nerve and say something that’s bound to set the young Galliard off. (Sometimes he doesn’t say anything at all and his mere existence is enough to set Porco off. Those are the really bad days…)
Pieck, meanwhile, acquires a small utensil and cuts into the fruit cake, preparing a small sample for the giant in her midst. “I don’t mean to brag or anything,” she says in mid-slice, “but this might be the best fruit cake I’ve ever made. I guess this sort of thing just comes naturally to me.”
Bertolt blinks a few times, falling short of any audible response. Her enlivened demeanor almost reminds him of her panzer unit fanboys; unfathomably cheerful and lovelorn.
Oh, Pieck…
He certainly won’t be the one to criticize her cooking. He simply doesn’t have the heart to.
Finished slicing into the crusty dessert, Pieck lifts her gaze and extends her arm toward him, entreating him to accept the sample.
“Here,” she offers, so sweet and endearing. “Let me know what you think!”
Bertolt inwardly prays for the protection of his sensitive palate. Bringing the questionable holiday treat to his nose, he inhales deeply and closes his eyes in despair.
Help…!
In spite of his circumstances, he tries to be polite. “It looks… so good…” he musters out, desperately stalling for time.
Pieck’s still waiting for him to take the quintessential first bite, eyes glowing with intrigue.
Bertolt’s hand trembles slightly, the fruit cake hovering over his mouth.
Right before he’s about to lower his jaw and force the ominously disfigured excuse-for-food into his mouth, some miraculous form of divine intervention saves his appetite from forever being ruined.
 “Fuck you, Braun!”
 Porco’s finally snapped.
And Bertolt couldn’t be any more grateful!
Pieck heaves a sigh, turning to address the rattled blond. “Pokko, there’s no cursing allowed at the Christmas party,” she chastises, though her voice is tonelessly nonchalant. The endeavor is a futile one.
Porco always ends up cursing at their Christmas parties. It never fails.
Bertolt sees the moment as his cue- and his way out. Leaning down a bit, he whispers into Pieck’s ear. “Maybe this will cheer him up.” He hurriedly presents the dessert nestled in his palm, plotting his escape.
Pieck nods in agreement, only disappointed she hadn’t thought of that herself.
“Pokko!” she calls out. “Come hither and try my fruit cake!”
In mid-storm across the room, Porco comes to a halt, weighing his options. If it were anyone else he’d tell them to fuck off, but Pieck has always been there to calm him down when the going gets tough- or when Reiner grates on his nerves.
The girl is practically half of his impulse control, and he’s in desperate need of her soothing abilities. Grunting indignantly at the look Reiner subsequently shoots him, Porco makes his way over to his petite comrade and sits down.
Bertolt sneakily sets the piece of fruit cake behind an array of candles, ensuring it’s hidden from view. As Pieck begins preparing a sample for Porco, he cautiously slips away and heads over to where Reiner has stationed himself for the next course of action.
Which is to wait…
Soon enough, the others are quick to take notice of the staggering sight before them. A round of giggles and whispers encircle the duo at the center table, prompting Porco to realize he and Pieck are under scrutiny- for amusement.
Reiner struggles to suppress his laughter, while Bertolt contemplates the very real possibility of a heart attack as the result of the erratic thumping against his chest.
If this ends badly, no doubt Porco will kick his ass too.
Having had enough of the idiocy surrounding him, Porco stands to his feet and glares about the room. “What the hell’s so funny?” he spits out.
A smirk plastered on his face, Reiner points up, the gesture providing him with an answer.
An answer in the form of a small green bough with marble-white berries dangling directly above him and Pieck, red ribbon attached to the top.
Porco freezes, in both awe and disbelief.
Pieck on the other hand is rather oblivious. Daintily so, she finishes cutting yet another slice of her prized fruit cake and holds it up for Porco. “Here,” she insists. “You’re probably just hangry.”
When she looks back at him, she’s confused as to why his attention is fixated toward the ceiling, his face appearing as though he’s seen a ghost.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, looking up as well.
Bingo.
“Oh!” Pieck smiles even wider. “Mistletoe!”
Too stunned to speak, Porco slowly tilts his head back down, watching over Pieck as crimson coats his entire face.
The room is silent now, with every attendee waiting on the couple to uphold the holiday tradition and commence the obligatory smooching.
Reiner leans against Bertolt, convinced he has won the bet. “Any moment now, Porco’s going to bolt for the barracks,” he whispers a little too loudly, finding it a challenge to contain his excitement. He’s enjoying this a little too much, and that makes Bertolt a tad uncomfortable.
But Bertolt holds out purely for his optimistic side…
After all, Porco hasn’t budged. Not one bit.
Meanwhile, Pieck has seemingly tuned everyone else out, focused solely on the now bashful boy before her.
“There’s no need to be shy, Pokko,” she teases delicately. “We do this in your room all the time.”
That particular revelation leaves no one in shock.
Still, Porco can’t help but tense up, the red deepening along his cheeks.
Fuck it, he thinks, willing to take a loss on this one. Might as well.
As Pieck leans forward, he reaches for her hands and meets her halfway, enveloping her soft lips with his own. The kiss is an innocent one, vastly different from the makeout sessions they frequently indulge in under more private settings.
But it’s definitely earned the approval of their amassed audience.
The entire room erupts in cheers, a few whistles echoing throughout the crowded space.
They… actually did it!
All but one continue to pour out their love and support for the duo… and that one is none other than a stupefied Reiner Braun.
Bertolt quickly singles him out, nudging the brawny blond on the shoulder.
“Soooooo,” he begins, feigning a cough to jolt him from his trance. “Looks like you lost the bet.”
Reiner avoids eye-contact, exasperated by all the lovey-dovey chants and coos aimed at honoring the darling couple, Porco and Pieck. He’s also reluctant to admit defeat, convinced that Bertolt will take advantage of this victory to the fullest extent.
Alas, he gives in when he remembers that he was the one who started the whole thing.
Fair is fair.
Damnit.
Putting aside his pride, Reiner gives Bertolt his undivided attention.
“Yeah,” he says with a nod, grimacing. “I lost the bet.”
Bertolt can’t help the half-smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth, admiring how adorable Reiner is in this light, his lips forming an irresistible pout.  
The fact that the blond is hopelessly unaware of it only drives Bertolt even crazier than he thought possible.
And he’s seen Reiner shirtless for fuck sake.
A few beats pass before Reiner speaks up again, oblivious to the enamored gaze Bertolt is still holding.
“Well, what’s it gonna be?” Reiner chuckles. “Two birthday presents? Three…? Are you gonna make me do something embarrassing? Just let me know so I can prepare myself for the humiliation…”
Bertolt stops him from droning on and on, wordlessly grabbing him by the hand. He leads them both toward the center table, aiming his sights on the ornament hanging above.
Must be the sudden surge of holiday spirit.
“Bert,” Reiner mumbles, “where- what are we doing?”
Bertolt looks back and offers a firm response. “I’m making good on this bet.” And rightfully so.
It’s not long before Porco and Pieck make way for Bertolt and his plus one.
It’s not long before he and Reiner find themselves underneath the same mistletoe.
 It’s not long before Bertolt finally claims victory- and Reiner’s lips with his own.
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skeletonwoman · 7 years
Text
Mouthy (Draco Malfoy)
Warning: this one is crass af and has some really rude language in it and at the end everyone suddenly get soft af
ask me for a second part if u want one cause i have an idea
“How abouts you take your fugly f*cking bowl cut ass hair and run back to your crumbling little mansion in bum-f*ck nowhere, hey, Malfoy?” You snarl, shoving from your seat at the Slytherin table and storm across the great hall, slumping down beside Ginny.
She stares at you a moment before launching to her feet.
“F*ck you, Malfoy!” She shouts, half standing on the bench seat with a murderous expression and McGonagall stares her down. You note she doesn’t say a word, though, as Ginny plonks back down looking thoroughly disgruntled.
Seconds later, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George all sit down, shoving Ginnys friends down as they crowd the two of you.
“What happened?” They demand and you hesitate before gritting your teeth and shaking your head. It’s not a big deal, it’s over.
Hissing, you throw the handful of herbs into your cauldron, your glare locked to Dracos.
He smacks away Pansys hand when she waves it in his face, only for his glare to dampen and break as he turns his gaze to her. You can see the outraged expression on her face pale as he apologies softly and she nods understandingly.
Then she’s glaring at you and you’re scowling at the two of them.
“Y/N?” Neville asks softly and you blink, returning to cauldron and desk.
“Sorry, I’m here,” you answer, just as softly, and he smiles at you. Returning the expression, you grimace at the recipe and add a lemon seed to the mix. It doesn’t say so but anyone can write a book so who says this person is right.
Even if it is a textbook.
Neville doesn’t comment, stirring at an even pace and you want to hug the non-argumentative sweetheart.
Finishing off the ingredients, you watch Snape slow to a stop over your potion. His eyes are zeroed in on Neville and you wonder if he even see’s you.
“What did you do to this, Longbottom? It’s aw-”
“-wesomely done, sir. See, I added a lemon seed instead of a dash of red dirt,” you say, drawing Snapes eyes to you and you give him a toothy grin.
“Y/N, perhaps you should choose a better partner next time, someone who won’t let you act so wilfully when the assignment is to make essence of sleep- using a dash of red dirt.”
For a second, you’re going to be offended.
“Try some, sir! Unless you’re afraid to?” You chirp and Snape levels you with a dead eyed look. Like normal, but slightly less smiley.
“I won’t, Y/N, as the potion you’ve crafted is a cauldron of starvation, a seventh year potion. Two drops is a lethal dose,” he says before his words stop and his eyes narrow to slits. “But you knew this already, didn’t you, Y/N?”
“I couldn’t know that, sir, I’m a fourth year,” you counter and he sighs through his nose before shooing the two of you away from the cauldron and barring the other students from going near your station.
“You’re pushing it,” Hermione hisses softly and you giggle, leant against the wall beside her station. Across the room, Snape berates Seamus Finnigan.
“He’s the potions teacher, if he actually tried any of it then he’d deserve to starve,” you mutter, biting down hard on your lip so you won’t laugh. “He’s stupid enough, and Merlin if Slytherin doesn’t need a new head of house.”
“I’m going to tell Snape you tried to murder him,” Draco hisses and you laugh outright.
“I think he knows, Malfoy. I asked him to try it.” You scoff and Draco scowls at your blatant disregard. You might be in his house but how the two of you are supposed to be similar is beyond you.
The bells ring and you snatch your bag from your station and hesitate by the full pot.
“Do not touch that,” Snape orders when he spots you and you sigh, rolling your eyes before turning to him.
“I don’t want you leave you with the mess, sir, and it’s my cauldron,” you say, trying to look chastened and he glares at you.
“You can return during your lunch to clean it, then.”
“How about I drive this fork into your hand and watch you shriek like a little pissbaby?” You murmur and Draco hits you with a useless sneer. He would shriek like a pissbaby. He knows it, you know it, even Pansy knows it by the way she’s looking at you.
“Or the two of you could f*ck and give the rest of us a damn break?” Blaise snaps and you freeze, blinking at the boy across from you. You can see the table staring at you and not a single gaze on Draco.
“Blaise,” you hiss, as if admitting guilt and you can see the whole table catch their breath, “I thought you and I were going to f*ck? I can’t sleep with you and Draco!”
Sighs surround you, shoulders slumping, eyes rolling.
Whatever, guys.
“Wait, so we aren’t getting together after all this?” Draco frowns, looking genuine and you’re momentarily unsure. Was- Were the two of you supposed to get together at the end?
Now, the tables interested again.
“You called me a troll not two days ago, Draco,” you remind him and a flush rises in his cheeks as he remembers. “And then said I had no wizarding future and should just pack up to live under a muggle bridge and tell riddles to the unwashed muggle masses?”
“I… Don’t recall?” He says hollowly and you wrinkle your nose in disgust.
“Want me to jog your memory with my response?” You snipe and he shakes his head hurriedly.
“Forgive him, Y/N, he calls Pansy a bulldog all the time and says Theo should quit magic to start a knitting club,” Blaise pipes up with barely concealed delight.
“How about I don’t? And tell you both to get f*cked? He said that to Theo because Theo is a master at mittens, idiot,” you hiss, ignoring the flushed smile Theo sends your way. “And I don’t even know about the Pansy stuff, it’s just rude, Draco.”
His entire face is red and you’re unsure if he’s going to explode or pass out.
“Maybe I should go join the muggles, at least they know how to have a conversation,” you snap when he doesn’t respond and push to your feet. You’re not hungry anymore, stalking from the great hall instead.
You’ve got a cauldron to wash.
Earbuds in, you dance about the room to the sounds of Britney Spears, a relic from your “reformative” semester at a muggle school before you’d entered Hogwarts. Of everything the students had shown you, which they’d delighted in doing, you’d been unable to give up the music. Britney especially.
Millicent appears before you, looking particularly dark and you pull and earbud from your ear expectantly.
“What is that?” Millicent asks, almost accusing, as she stares at the tiny box in your hand.
“It’s Britney, bitch,” you say, only to cringe. “Sorry! I- It’s- Come here.”
Beckoning her, you order her to be still and put the earphone in her ear and restarting the song, For a moment, she’s terrified, and you watch as the fear melts into surprise and curiosity.
“She’s promiscuous,” she observes, still listening and you can’t help snorting.
“It’s my iPod, it’s a muggle device and you can store over a thousand of these songs on it. I have Britney Spears, One Direction, the Jonas Brothers and a bunch of soundtracks to these things called Disney movies.” The song ends and Millicent looks confused all over again, and you pull the earbud from her ear for her. “I could lend it to you one time and then if you want, I could organise to get you one and put music on it?”
You’re momentarily worried that she’ll dob you in when she nods, excitement in the bobble of her head.
“I’d love to, if you have more of this Britney on your rectangle,” she marvels and you nod easily.
“This weekend, after I show you how to use it, you can have it for the entire Saturday,” you smile and she grins, thanking you softly before moving to her bed.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“About Draco,” her voice is soft and tense, and you don’t look up from your trunk as you bury the music player. “He’s going to apologise to you. He’s not going to be good at it but he means it. He never apologises, you know it as well as I do, and I don’t want his lack of practice to ruin it for him.”
You peek at her over your shoulder, spotting her wringing her hands and chewing her lip.
“Thank you, Milli,” you mumble and she smiles hesitantly before skittering back downstairs.
“I’m sorry that you’re so crass and mouthy,” Draco mumbles and it’s amazing. You were expecting worse. “Every time I hear you speak it just flips a switch in my head-” Nice, nice, solid Draco. “-and I’m calling you names or putting you down before I can think. It’s stupid and I’ll try to stop but I’m sorry, for the past and any time in the future.”
You can’t help staring for a moment. Seconds ago, you’d been laughing at the pathetic apology when he just… flips. Apparently like the switch in his head.
“Thank you, I appreciate the apology. And you’re forgiven,” you say, awkward and unsure now that he’s nice.
“And when I made that comment… about us-”
“Oh, no big deal, forget about it.”
“I meant it. I thought we… had some kind of game. It was stupid to assume that, I’m sorry.” He hesitates a moment, his palm on the back of his neck before he straightens and meets your gaze. “And you probably don’t want to hear it right now but I’m hopelessly attracted to you and am in a deep… like…” He grimaces. “So soon, after this has passed and we’re regular friends, I’ll ask you on a date and you can say yes or no and I won’t tease you about it or say you’re awful at magic- even if you are.”
“You had to say it, didn’t you?” You growl and he offers you a ridiculously cheesey smile that is so un-Draco that you’re nearly bowled over.
“What?” he says, playful and innocent and you want to push him into the lake.
“You’re so lucky that you’re on a brand new nice streak and I’m a believer in rewarding good behaviour,” you hiss at him and he bites his lip to keep his smile in check. Bad idea.
Bad idea. Abort, Draco!
“Stop that!” You order, your thumb catching on his chin and pulling enough that his lip slides free. He can’t do that. It’s rude. “Don’t bite your lip.”
“Why?”
There’s a sparkle in his eye and you want to stomp on it.
“It makes you look stupid,” you say without hesitation and he laughs, eyes still sparkling.
“It’s not because you think it’s attractive?” He says, his voice low and quiet and strangely bedroomy.
“No,” you snap out, deadpan, and he nods. He obviously doesn’t believe you which is fair considering you’re a liar, but that’s not the point. The point is that he’s being a twerp. “Look, I have to go. Mostly because I don’t want to be here with you any longer while you unreasonably gloat but also because I have to trip Ron.”
“Can I come?” He asks and you shoot him a dead eyed look.
“Yeah, let’s take Beacon Hair and his beacon hair and his beacon attitude right over to where Potter and Weasley and Granger will be because it’s not like he’s a beacon for their attention,” you say, sarcasm evident and he scowls with pink cheeks.
“It’s not my fault!”
“It’s entirely your fault,” you counter, laughing softly. Backing up a step, you’re unsure how to turn and walk away. You have no idea when, if ever, you’ll get another moment with soft and happy Draco. He said he’d ask you out and so you might meet him again on a date but who knows when that’ll happen?
“Ask me now,” you order, your voice shy and he frowns. “Ask me on a date, Malfoy.”
His grin is intensely bright and he steps forward, taking the two steps to bridge the space between the two of you and interlacing his fingers with yours. Your gaze clashes with his and you’re stuck, lost in his grey eyes.
“Y/N, will you go on a date with me?”
“When?” You ask, instantly and breathlessly and his smile seems to get bigger.
“Tomorrow night, we’ll go to the Astronomy tower with some food.” The words are a weight off your shoulders and you nod, exhaling a relieved sigh. You’ve got a date, you’ll see him like this again. Before you can speak, he presses a soft kiss to your cheek and steps away, giving you some much needed breathing room. “I’ll see you later?”
“Of course, yeah.” You cough, suddenly awkward before remembering your plan. Turning on your heel, you dart up the stairs and leave him behind.
Tomorrow. The Astronomy Tower.
boo! the end
also idk if this is a one off or if you guys will get some more fics soon but we’ll see
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missmarymac817 · 7 years
Note
hooty hoo its me @ the past asks u should do them all b/c im a nosy binch and ur cool. u should answer all 10
1: Describe your first date.
It was around valentine’s Day (before it) and we went to he dollar tree to get gift stuff cuz we were in 7th grade and cringe af and then we went to Starbucks and he payed and then my ‘mom’ (a friend of mine’s mom) saw us and embarrassed me then we went to a music store and I played the piano and then when we were waiting for my dad to come pick me up, he tried to kiss me but he missed and kiSSED MY FREAKING EYE WTF. My friends and I now call him ‘eye-kiss-guy’ 
2: Who was your best friend in 7th grade?
This girl I met on our school bus and I thought she was a gay guy cuz she had her hood up so it covered her hair and she pretended to shoot me with finger guns, saying “"imma shoot you. Pew” and we’ve been best friends since. 
3: Who was your favorite band in 3rd grade?
Taylor friggen swift. Fight me. 
4: How many s/os have you had? Which was the least terrible? Most?
7?? Yeah. Kayla was the best. Is? Idk. We’re complicated rn. But either Jacob or Titus were worst. I can't decide. 
5: Which tooth did you lose first? When?
The big tooth on the left. I was in 3rd grade and a TA pulled it out for me. I stood on the edge of the sand box while he pulled it out. 
6: Who was your first crush? How old were you?
John. Yeah. I was in 1st grade and he was super nice and I saw him everyday cuz our younger siblings were best friends. Yep. 
7: What was the most cringy thing you did as a kiddo (1st-5th grade)?
I brought my baby blanket to school through 4th grade. Like wow. Wtf. 
8: When did you get your first phone? What did it look like?
4th grade. It was a slide up t-mobile phone that you had to press number 7 four times to get the letter S. lol. 
9: Describe the scene/ location of and/or the actions leading up to your first kiss.
It was at a high school basketball. After the game had finished, we managed to find an empty bathroom. Earlier that night, I had stolen her SnapBack marvel hat and she wanted it back. I still had it when we went to the bathroom. She s linked up to me and kissed my cheek. Then I shook my head and I took her cheek and kissed her, except she just wanted a peck on the lips but I wanted an actual kiss so I just kinda ended up eating her lips. 
10: Tell a story about your childhood that was the most cringy.
In 7th grade after Christmas break, a group of girls in my science class were talking about what they got for Christmas and I thought one girl said boobs so I said “"yeah me too. They just started popping up-” and the most popular of the group stopped me and told me that the other girl had said boots. Not boobs. I still stay up at night cringing at this moment. 
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mrmallard · 5 years
Text
A personal post about fans and stans
I just saw a genuine Harry Potter fan post where the OP prefaced it by saying something along the lines of "not to be cringe and post Harry Potter on main, but" - and that really bummed me out. Like maybe I'm taking a self-aware joke a bit too seriously, but I don't like the idea of fans having to acknowledge their fanbase's backlash before making a serious fan post. They should be able to post freely and unironically without the risk of someone being snide to them about it - which is something that Tumblr seems to be sliding into at the moment.
I don't like Harry Potter that much, the fanbase was extremely huge and obnoxious at a point and I totally get the backlash - Harry Potter, and any other massively overblown fandom, is not a personality trait on its own. That's not just me trying to distance myself from the group I'm defending, as I find myself doing often because I'm kind of an asshole like that - I'm saying this as a statement of fact. This is where I stand on this. And yet I'm not happy to see genuine, passionate Harry Potter fans prefacing their genuine, passionate fanposts with a quick self-deprecating one-liner to disarm people and beat any negativity to the punch. It's dumb af.
I feel like this anti-stan veneer that's recently manifested on Tumblr is getting a bit stifling, because it doesn't just target the most dedicated, disruptive fans who take it to an unhealthy level. It's not just cracking down on stans. It's bad for people who really like the thing, having to backpedal about an innocent interest due to the backlash against it. I get not liking a thing and finding it to be obnoxious and over-exposed, but targeting something extreme to the point that smaller, more reasonable fans have to disarm people in their posts before expressing themselves is really, really shitty.
Quick note: that last sentence is about fandom, not politics. Just thought that it could be taken in a really bad way, and I want to pre-empt any receipts accusing me of pushing or dogwhistling for a disingenuous or dangerous political ideology in this post about fans. I'm not.
The current Marvel/MCU backlash comes to mind - MCU fans are definitely getting wild, but people are commenting like "this is so annoying, can we bring cyber-bullying back?" - and I think that's super rude to say about anything. People are using it lightly, but it's a garbage sentiment and I feel like it will enable more and more genuine toxicity over time.
It reminds me of the shencomix backlash about his "bike cuck" comic - at the end of the year he did all of these cool anime-style comics about the year of 201X being a buff shonen character, pummeling Shen in an extended fight sequence. And I saw a comment that said "Wow, I think we bullied Shen into making good art!"
Man, fuck that.
Personally, I think the process of "stanning" something is taking it way too far. Fandom can be an incredibly unhealthy force in someone's life, and it can negatively affect anyone around that sort of activity. I do think we need to get serious about stans and establish some healthy boundaries regarding fandom and when it becomes too much. But can we drop the casual "bullying" rhetoric and let fans be fans sometimes? Can we strike a more positive balance between bitter, cynical "cringe culture" backlash and life-consuming stan culture? Because someone singing the praises of something they enjoy should rarely, if ever, have to come with a crowd-pleasing one-liner like "not to HP stan on main but" before they express themselves online.
In summary - fandom can be an absolute hellhole to witness from the inside or from afar. Fandom can be unhealthy, it can be socially accepted in some circles that one's degree of fandom is akin to a personality trait and I think that's bad. But when the backlash gets bad enough that it shuts down all discourse, or causes a reasonable fan who enjoys stuff for the sum of its parts to go on the defensive before they make any sort of positive post about it - that's shitty.
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years
Text
Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 11 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)
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Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 11
Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.
Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.
(Y/n) left her class the next morning, thinking about heading back home to take a nap when a pair of arms wrapped around her and picked her up.
“Look! You’re still a baby! I can pick you up!” Tommy teased.
“Put me down Thomas!” (Y/n) squirmed.
“Come on I want to talk to you and take you to….” he looked at his watch, “Brunch!”
“Well, I can walk to your car! People are going to think you’re kidnapping me!” (Y/n) struggled.
“Awwww, where the fun in that!” Tommy said as he put her down and pouted. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and got serious. “I need to talk to you, ok?”
“Are you pregnant?” (Y/n) said, smiling at him. “Okay, okay. Let’s go get something to eat. My treat?” She was used to Tommy never having any money, and when they did things, she was usually the one paying, since she had made herself get a job in high school.
Tommy helped her into his car and drove them to a local place that served brunch on the weekdays. Parking the car he helped her out and they were quickly seated when they get inside.
“So…. I haven't been the best big brother have I pipsqueak?” Tommy said as his fingers drummed on the table.
“Not really.” She admitted, twirling her spoon in her fingers like Tommy would do his sticks. “I kinda got used to it though. Like that time you told the kids from school I was a ghost that haunted the halls of our house…
Tommy began to snort, “That was….” she stopped and got serious. “That was very wrong of me and I’m sorry.”
“Forgive and forget.” She said, smiling at him. “Look Tommy, it’s okay. Siblings pick on each other, right? And like you said, I wasn’t a thought all the way through child…”
“But you are smart, and you are pretty and I was looking out for you.” Tommy grabbed the spoon and was playing with it just like she was. “I just don't want you to get treated the way I treat girls ok? I just… I know i’m not perfect but… I am not the poster boy for treating a girl right you know and… I don't want you to get hurt.”
“So, hypothetically, if I started going out with one of your bandmates, like Nikki, do you think he’d hurt me?” (Y/n) asked, leaning forward in her seat.
“Ok… one, NIkki is gaga over some chick and he seems to be into her and being a gentleman and shit… but…. he has his demons,” Tommy sighed.
“Oh, I see.” (Y/n) said. “Well, don’t worry. Vince and Mick aren’t my type and if Nikki’s taken...maybe I could set my eyes on that cutie in that brand new band that’s been playing the strip. Toxin? Venom? Oh! Poison!” She smirked when she saw Tommy’s eyes darken.
“(Y/n) please don’t… I won't be able to take my sweet.. Innocent.. SMART.. baby sister with rag tag groups that are worse than ours.”
They got their food and made small talk. Afterwards, Tommy took her for a walk, doing some window shopping. Not realizing that across the street, Mick and Vince were standing.
“She’s cheating on Nikki with Tommy?” Vince asked.
“Dumb ass, she’s his sister.” Mick groaned.
“Wait, what?” Vince looked at Mick. “I… huh?” Vince took a closer look. “Holy fucking shit!” Vince smacked Mick excitedly. “Tommy is going to flip when he finds out… does Nikki know?”
“I don’t think so.” Mick said. “Why don’t we take bets to see when he does? Whoever gets the closest wins.”
“You’re on!” Vince said shaking Micks hand.
“How long you give him?” Mick asked.
“I give them a month,” Vince shrugged. “How long do you give em?”
“I think Nikki’ll find out in a couple weeks. Tommy, it’ll take a month.” Mick told him.
“You are sooooo on,” Vince smiled. “Oh man this is going to be great to see…. Should we get popcorn?”  
“And beer.” Mick laughed. “Come on. We got a gig tonight.”
“Hey, how many chicks do you think I can score with before we start the show?” he wiggled his eyebrow at Mick.  
“I’m sure you’ll get all of them Vince.” Mick said, shaking his head.
“So, do you have a gig tonight?” (Y/n) asked, knowing the answer.
“OH YEAH! Oh (Y/n) you’ve got to come, and this time I won't ditch you I promise, I’ll introduce you to the guys!” Tommy smiled.
“Oh, I dunno…” (Y/n) said, a little nervous. “Won’t I cramp your style?”
“OK, look,” Tommy sighed. “You are cool, you know why? Because one, you have me for a brother. Two, you listen to awesome music. Three you’re going to school to be a music manager. Four, you play instruments that are really hard and that is cool.” Tommy took a breath. “Any guy who dates you is lucky and I hope they make you happy… or I start cutting off dicks.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll come by.” (Y/n) said. “Nessa might come too. Her, me, and Athena talked about seeing a show tonight. Might as well be yours.” She smirked at him.
“YES!” Tommy smiled. “I’m glad to see you happy though. Man I am way too sober for this. OK, so I’ll take you back to campus.” He looked around. “Anything you want? I have money!” Tommy smiled brightly.
“There’s a first time for everything.” (Y/n) smiled, heading back to campus with Tommy.
*********
The guys were backstage, getting ready for their gig. Nikki finished putting on his war paint while Vince stretched in his leather pants, Mick tuned his guitar, and Tommy drummed in the air.
“Your girlfriend here?” Mick asked Nikki without looking up.
“She said she was going to be here with her friend and sister,” Nikki shrugged. “I hope so… I really want to spend time with her man.” Nikki walked over to the counter and did his line closing his eyes. “Man, we have a meeting with the label and I just hate how they’re yanking our chain man.”
“Wanna know what would make you feel better?” Tommy asked. “If you and your girlfriend spent a little time together jumping on the bed.” Vince looked over at Mick and cringed.
“Maybe soon man,” NIkki smiled. “Just need to find the right place. Far away from you clowns.”
“I’m saying hotel.” Mick shrugged.
“Dude, what’s wrong with the house? You never had a problem with it before.” Tommy said, making Vince cringe again. “Or the backseat of your car.”
“I don't want you clowns interrupting me,” Nikki smacked Tommy. “Besides, my girl is special and deserves something better than our dingy apartment.”
“What is she a virgin or something?” Tommy asked.
“Oh, look what time it is! Time to rock!” Vince yelled out.
“Yeah man, let's start the show,” Mick said as he followed Vince out.
“I’m with the other two clowns,” Nikki grabbed his bass. “And it’s none of your business.”  Tommy just shrugged and followed them out. Nikki saw (Y/n) once the set started. She was smiling up at him as he performed.
“He looks good.” Vanessa told her. (Y/n) nodded, beaming with joy. “Holy shit, Vince is hot! I’m going to have to claw my way through.” she said looking at the girls.
“Oh dear god Nessa.” (Y/n) laughed. “Just come backstage with me after the show.”
“Promise,” she hugged (Y/n) and laughed. “Thena! Come hang with us!” she yelled. Athena waved to them from the guy she was talking to. The concert went on and soon, the guys were done.
Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk
Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @flamencodiva @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321
Nikki Sixx Tags:  @daisystuffsstuff
Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:  @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12
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youreghanamissme · 6 years
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2018, Eat My Harmattan Dust!
We did it! We survived 2017! Hoo-Boy, was it a tough year. It's been a positively transformative experience, but there were chunks of time where I felt like I was drowning in a lasagna of my own anxiety, trauma, and depression. But y'know what? It's a new year, and I have plenty to look forward to. I'm probably the happiest and most content now than I've been in the last two to three years, so Cheers!/ Mabuhay!/ La Chaim! to that!!
I'm off to my COS (Close of Service) conference in a few days, and in a few months, I'll be leaving Ghana. You'll read it across the plethora of PCV blogs that exist on the internet: “two years has flown by.” It sounds a little contrived, but it's one of the truisms of service. Most folks, myself being one of them, don't really hit their stride until the one year mark, and then you're just rollin' rollin' rollin' trying to be as productive as possible while still maintaining your sanity and taking in the beauty of everything—all the cultural nuances, the environmental overhaul, the punchline in the joke—happening around you. Sometimes I feel like I just got off the plane last month. It's hard to accept that this journey is almost finished.
I was re-reading some of my old blog entries, and I was struck at how doe-eyed I was! And how many of the circumstances that perplexed me no longer seem as big of a deal. Here are some of the changes I have witnessed for myself over the past two years:
1. Time. Time is a social construct. We give it value in America. Punctuality is a virtue to possess after all. But in Ghana, time is just time. Things will figure themselves out eventually, so why rush? It's a big deal when I need to catch a tro out of my community or when it's call to prayer, but otherwise, I don't pay much attention to it. I go by the heat of the day or the movement of the sun. That being said, I do feel like my life has been on pause while I've been here. I'm a little uneasy to go back to America where I feel like I'm behind the times culturally and professionally, but things will figure themselves out somehow ;)
2. Little pleasures. Reveling in a smile. A greeting. A goodbye. The sunset. The feel of the ocean against my legs. The kiss of the equatorial sun on my face. A productive day with my community members. The excitement of students. An old friend. A new friend. The breeze. The rain. The smell of wet earth. The buzz from a drink. The euphoria of good company. A platonic “I love you.”
3. Noise. I had a hard time adjusting to the perpetual din in the background (or, sometimes, assaulting me in the face). Much like waiting hours for your tro (bus) to fill, you'll never get completely used to the bangarang, but the rooster crowing at odd hours, the 4:30am call to prayer, someone's repetitive chanting to sell something, etc... they get drowned out a little after a while. Especially if there is a much louder noise accosting you, i.e. honking of a horn around every corner, the vibrating boom of Ghanaian high-life music, or the heart-jolting shot of a musket across the village.
4. Jogging-ish. I mentioned my somehow-running journey a few times in previous posts, but that's because it's had a pretty big impact on my sense of self. Before I came to Ghana, I detested running. Absolutely hated it with vitriol. I still don't love it, but I've learned to enjoy it somehow. It has less to do with weight loss (because I haven't lost any) and more to do with transformation. I presented myself with a challenge, and I succeeded on my own terms. I ran a race in Ghana, and I've adopted a healthy habit. That makes me happy; I'm proud of myself.
5. Wholesome eating. I eat beans, maize, and a way too much oil almost every day in Ghana. And while I gorge on processed candy and biscuits whenever I can, I also crave spinach, cheeses, fresh vegetables and fruits. I'm anticipating the day when I don't have to pay a premium to eat olives or butter! The variety in Ghana is seasonal, and I'd like to maintain that commitment to support local farmers in America. I'm considering joining a CSA and am honestly gleeful at the thought of cooking and prepping most of my meals myself when I go home (but also... Hot Cheetos. They are a non-issue).
6. Friendship. The best kind of ‘ships. Without my friends I wouldn't have made it this far. Some have left the country prematurely, finished up and having a hoot at home, or got lucky and transferred to a bigger community for work, but many are still here, striving and thriving. This year I vow to commit more of myself and my time investing in my friendships. I've realized that my time is the most important and valuable artifact I can offer. If I haven't been a good friend, I'm sorry. I'll do better, be better. But know that I cherish each and every one of you, even if the last time we talked was yesterday or twelve months ago.
7. Adventure-seeking. Traveling the world is a privilege. I know there are many articles on the internet that tout “You Can Easily Travel If You Do These 10 Tips” or something along those lines. That's a load of tone-deaf shit. Not everyone can afford to travel, even if they try to put away a fraction of their paycheck for a year. Some people have responsibilities/ barriers / circumstances that prevent them from taking even a week off to see the world, to feed their soul, and amaze their wonder. Life is hard, and the economy and political climate isn't helping. But life is short, and I want to make it a priority of mine to try to see and experience as much as I can. Ghana isn't the first country I've visited, but it certainly has had a profound impact on my wanderlust. I plan to do a solo COS-trip. I'm a little scared to do it alone, but it's also part of the thrill.
8. Reading. We all read a lot, but I didn't read as many books as I did articles or op-ed's until I came to Ghana and committed to the idea of finishing a book (and then some). I've read many that affected me on more levels than I can articulate; have altered my perception of seeming truths; have educated me; made me laugh, cry, cringe; given me book hangovers. I've rekindled (:P) my love for books, the printed book industry hasn't died, and I can't wait to get my hands on some Ta-Nehisi Coates.
9. Self-understanding. I've alluded to a lot of emo, angsty shit that went down this past year. Yeeeah, I'm not going to deep dive into that on this blog. That being said, life wasn't great for a good while. I was pretty lost and acted out a lot, and I needed a lot of extra emotional support because I couldn't bear all weight on my own. I relied heavily on my friends (My undying gratitude. You lovely humans know who you are) and introspection to climb out of the pit. Sometimes I trip and fall back in, but y'know, that's gonna happen. Since then, I've gotten to know myself a lot better. I've been growing into a fuller version of my best self all the while discovering my wants, goals, bad habits, and how far I can extend beyond what I believed was a limitation. I think this is what the young people call, a “glow up”!
10. Appreciation for this Earth, My Life. I've developed a greater appreciation for our natural resources and my personal circumstances so much more. Clean drinking water, access to education and health services, the beauty in the landscape. I hope to continue reducing my waste and creating positive change in the world. And also call my parents. I'm lucky to have been born and raised in America. They're refugees and naturalized American citizens, but life for them wasn't as peachy-keen. I forget that when I'm all wrapped up in my own life, neglecting that my life is an echo of their life too.
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TBT to A little nugget at the nutrition IST
There were moments in service where I contemplated extending, especially if I landed a position that worked with girls empowerment and youth development... but there were also moments where I screamed to myself, “I need to GTFO of here!” And then I ruminate on the goings on in America: FCC votes against net neutrality (I hope that it gets overturned), the tax reform that will decimate the middle class, the increasing rent and crippling job market in the Bay Area, California, and I wonder: Should I extend? Should I attempt WOOF'ing across South America? Can I just be a vagabond until 2020? The next step is daunting AF.
I'm trying to embrace the strong probability of moving back in with my parents which is utterly—complete and without qualification—soul crushing. When I moved out of the house at seventeen, I never settled back in. I would visit, but I always maintained my own living arrangements, even when I was preparing to move to Ghana. Committing the ultimate millennial move is not beneath me. They're lovely people. We just can't cohabitate. But the one truth is: I'm excited to go back and start some semblance of a career, a decision that will give my mum some relief.
I've somehow committed to the idea of finally applying to nursing school, something I've grappled with for the last three to four years. I'm going to take the plunge... I think! I'm frightened, but that kind of fear is overrated. I'm also excited to...
Do cool things! Like enroll in a class for cooking, Spanish, drawing/painting, pottery, car mechanics, yoga, boxing (I still have those gloves...). It all sounds really expensive, but I want to invest in myself more.
Clear the physical detritus of my life. I have a lot of junk. A good ½  of it was donated to Good Will when I came back for my sister's wedding, but I think I can downsize some more (coughthoseboxingglovescough ??). I'm eager to live minimally.
Move. Living with my ma and pa is a real contender for practicality's sake, but I'm anxious to see more of America. Maybe the east coast? California is a marvelous, endearing, magical bubble filled with the chillest people, the best food, and the diversity and creativity that I need and crave... and that's why I need to leave to thrive (at least for a little bit)
Hike. So many sights to see! I want to be stunned—become weak in the knees, physically and figuratively!—by the natural beauty that I often neglect by living in a city for as long as I have.
Learn how to swim. Because it's a life skill... and because all my friends are hanging over there, in the deep end of the pool :(
Live my best life! That includes continuing to grow, eating good food, reading, learning, hanging out with my favorite people, trying new things, meeting new people, and so much more!
It’s my last Harmattan, hurray!
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years
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Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 8 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)
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Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 8
Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.
Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.
Vanessa sighed as the girls left the latest shop. Nothing in any of the shops they have been to seemed to have the right fit for (Y/n)’s date. With a small groan, Vanessa looked back to Athena and (Y/n).
“Ok, this next shop has to have what you’re looking for,” Vanessa said. “Please god let it have what she is looking for!”
They had just found the perfect pair of jeans for (Y/n), and were looking at shirts when a voice called out across the store.
“Hey shitheads!” Tommy’s voice echoed. (Y/n) cringed.
“Did I just hear our idiot brother?” She asked.
“Unfortunately,” Athena muttered and hid her face. “Maybe if we ignore him he’ll leave us alone?”
“Attention K-Mart shoppers! Blue light special in women’s clothing. My sisters Athena and (Y/n), free to a good home!” Tommy called out.
Athena punched him in his arm, “Shut it shit head! I can’t believe we’re related to you.” she growled angrily. “Bad enough you got (Y/n) thinking she isn’t good enough for the guy she has a date with tomorrow. God you are an asshole!”
“You got a date? No way! Someone’s desperate.” Tommy laughed. “Nikki’s got a date tomorrow night too! He’s been like daydreamin’ of this girl or something. I don’t think she’s even real.”
Athena punched him in his crotch, “Tommy stop being a dick to her! Apologize right now! No wonder she thinks she’s ugly! You have torn her confidence to shreds!”
“S-sorry…” Tommy said, a little breathless, holding his family jewels.
“I think I found the perfect shirt.” (Y/n) said, walking past Tommy towards a rack of clothes.
“YES!” Athena clapped her hands and smiled.
Tommy looked at the shirt as he got his bearings back and shook his head, “No way! It’s too skimpy and they guy can try and take advantage of you and….” Tommy looked at Athena. “What?”
“You’re the reason this is her first real date ever, and you’re the reason that’s she’s still a virgin!” Athena hissed at him.
“Oh yes, let’s just announce that for the whole store to hear.” (Y/n) groaned. She looked at Tommy. “What do you care what I wear? You don’t wear clothes half the time.”
“I… you… because I’m your big brother and I’m trying to look out for you,” Tommy sighed. “I don’t want you with someone like me ok?” Tommy looked down to the floor disappointed with himself. “I just think that you can be better than the girls I see at our shows, you know?” (Y/n) decided to test something.
“What if I decided I wanted to start dating Mick or something?” (Y/n) asked. “You can trust them and you can trust me. And Athena bought me pepper spray.” (Y/n) told him, hugging him.
“Oh no!” Tommy shook his head. “The guys are not coming anywhere near you, trust me aside from Nikki who is gaga over this chick he’s met… I want you far, far, far away from Vince and Mick.” Tommy held her face in his hands. “Vince is a two timer, and Mick’s just weird.”
“Okay, okay. I hear you.” (Y/n) said, glancing over at Vanessa, not realizing that Athena was starting to put things together. “Well, I’m going to check out. No work tomorrow, but I do have class.”
“Tommy?” Athena raised her eyebrow at him. “Are those my pants? And what the fuck did you do?”
“Well, you see, I painted my drums but it wasn’t dry…”
“She’s gonna kill you.” Vanessa whispered in a sing-song voice.
“Damn right I am! Going to cut his balls off and turn him into our older sister!” she growled and reached for him but he was too fast.
“I’m just gonna go steal some of Vince’s or something! Bye!” Tommy ran off then.
Taking a calming breath, Athena turned to Y/N and smiled. “So… Nikki Sixx has a girlfriend?”
“Yeah, I guess he does.” (Y/n) smiled at her, but in her mind, she was celebrating. She didn’t think he’d want her to be his girlfriend, but apparently he did.
“You must be excited to go out with him huh?” Athena said quickly.
“Very!” (Y/n) froze and looked over at Vanessa, who just burst out laughing. She looked at Athena. “I…”
“I am going to keep your secret safe,” Athena wrapped and arm around her shoulder. “One, because you deserve to be happy and is Nikki makes you happy, good. Two, we can keep Tommy in the dark. And three, his face when he finds out.”
“God, that’s gonna be a nightmare.” (Y/n) sighed. “But thanks ‘Thena. I just, I really like him.”
“And he seems to really like you sis,” Athena gave her a reassuring smile.
“Okay, I think I’m ready for my date.” she sighed. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be,” Athena grabbed her shoulders. “From the way Tommy is describing him he’s gaga over you.” she laughed. “You’re going to knock him dead, plus we need a sleep over for you to tell me the details. So, for tomorrow night, stay over at Nessa’s and we can talk on Friday?”
“Sounds good.” (Y/n) said. They headed home, Athena ready for all the details (Y/n) could give her.
****
“Okay Nessa, how do I look?” (Y/n) asked the next evening. Nessa looked up from her magazine she was reading.
Vanessa began clapping her hands enthusiastically, “hot, hot, hot!” she began fanning herself. “He is going to die by just looking at you.”
“I don’t think I’d go that far.” (Y/n) laughed. “It’s almost 6. I’m so nervous.”
“Don’t be, you know he likes you” Vanessa reassured her. “Everything is going to work out. I promise.”
*****
“Where are my keys?” Nikki looked around his room for his car keys. “Vince!?”
“What man?” Vince called back from his room.
“You seen my keys?” Nikki had now gotten on the floor to look under his bed. “I can’t find them.”
“Didn’t Tommy take your car to get some gas for his bike?” Vince asked.
“He’s going to make me late for my date man!” Nikki sighed. “Tommy, you jackass! Where are my keys?!”
“I thought I hung them up dude.” Tommy looked at the key hook by the door. “Oh, don’t see them.”
“If I’m late for my date I’m going to hang you upside down by your toes!” Nikki growled.
“Here.” Mick said, tossing him his keys. “Found ‘em in the sink. Drummer’s an idiot.” Nikki snagged the keys and ran towards the door, stopping to take a look at the clock on the stove. It was after six at this point.
“Fuck!” Nikki smack Tommy on his way out and glared at him. “I’ll deal with you later!”
Rushing to his car, he sped towards (Y/n)’s dorm building. He cursed at Tommy for making him late hoping that (Y/n) wouldn’t think he stood her up.
Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk
Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @flamencodiva @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @motleycrying @arianareirg @the-normal-potato  @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18
Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:  @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years
Text
The Hunters Chapter 4
@rock-n-roller-coasters
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Title: The Hunters Chapter 4
Summary: What happens when four idiots get together? Nikki's looking for his dad. Tommy's trying to get out of his mom's shadow. Vince is along for the ride. And Mick is just trying to keep them alive. Which is harder than it sounds when then Winchesters join the fray.
Warnings: Language, violence, m/m smut, canon divergence, character deaths (temporarily), wincest if you squint (may add more tags as I go)
“I...Athena dared me to go up here and I wanted to see what was in the trunk…” Tommy whispered.
“Thomas Lee Bass! You are never supposed to touch that!” Voula shook her head.
“But it’s so cool!” Tommy was almost bouncing with excitement. “Why do you have it?” Voula sighed. She had honestly hoped he would never ask these questions. She hoped no one would. She had buried that part of her when they had left Athens. Well, she tried to, but old habits die hard.
“Tommy…” Voula sighed and shut the door. “Go sit in that chair.” Tommy went to an old rocking chair in the corner and sat down while Voula uncovered the old trunk. “I think you’re old enough to know about your heritage.”
“I know, I’m half Greek, half American,” Tommy told her. Voula shook her head.
“Not that heritage,” She opened the trunk. “You are a descendant in a long line of heroes. We are members of a group called the Men of Letters. Our mission is to rid the world of evil. But, along with that, we are also descendants of Bellerophon, known killer of monsters. The first hunter.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve never hunted a deer in your life,” Tommy told her. Voula pulled out the sword that Tommy had been talking about earlier.
“This sword has been passed down through the ages,” Voula explained. “It has been blessed to kill the most vile monsters in the world. It was given to me by my mother, who got it from her father, and so on and so forth.”
“Mom, are you high?” Tommy asked.
“Thomas, this is real,” She told him. She held out the sword to him. “Go on. Take it.”
“Mom, you don’t like me playing with dad’s pocket knives…” Tommy told her, but he felt compelled to reach out and take the sword. Voula smiled as Tommy’s hand wrapped around the handle.
“Mom this is so cool I…” Tommy’s vision started to blur then. Flashes of his mom holding the sword came to view. She swung the sword at something hissing with fangs. She took off it’s head right before Tommy’s vision returned to normal and he was on the floor with Voula standing over him.
“What happened?” Tommy asked, wiping at his nose. When he looked at his hand, his eyes widened when he saw blood.
“I think you have second sight, just like your grandmother,” Voula told him, kneeling by him. “How do you feel? What did you see?”
“My head kinda hurts,” Tommy admitted. “And I saw you with the sword. Mom...have you killed a man before?”
“Not a man. A monster,” She told him. She offered a hand to help Tommy up.
“Are you like Van Helsing or something?” Tommy asked. Voula smirked a little.
“Better,” She told him. “Actually, I’m meeting up with a friend this evening to go on a hunt. Your dad has a poker night and Athena is staying the night at her friend Mandy’s. Why don’t you come with me?”
“Mom, monsters aren’t real,” Tommy told her, but Voula could sense a tinge of doubt in his voice. “I mean, I guess I could go with you…”
“Good,” She smiled. “Hold onto the sword. I have my own weapon to use.”
****
“Who’s that?” Tommy asked as Voula pulled her car into Muir woods. There was a man leaning against a car, smoking on a cigar.
“That’s Rufus Turner,” Voula explained. “He’s an amazing hunter.”
“Mom, why are you out hunting with a random guy?” Tommy asked. Voula sighed and got out of the car. Rufus looked up at her and Tommy.
“You brought one of your kids?” He asked without so much as a hello.
“I think it’s time he learned the family business,” Voula explained.
“Alright. It’s your funeral,” Rufus tossed out. Tommy looked at Voula with his eyes wide.
“Are we gonna die?” He asked. Voula shook her head.
“No honey. Rufus just has a...unique sense of humor,” The tousled Tommy’s long hair. “Do you have the sword?”
“Yeah…” Tommy held the sword in his hand.
“Pretty sure it’s a vampire,” Rufus told them, readying his machate. “Ready?”
“Yep,” Voula nodded and looked at Tommy. “Stay close and do what I tell you, okay?” Tommy just nodded. Voula adjusted her flashlight and machate and walked with Rufus, Tommy close behind. He was sure that he was being led out here to be left or killed or something. His mom had to have gone crazy. And what the hell was that thing he saw earlier? He could hear his mom and that guy chatting about cattle mutilations and missing coeds or something.
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up then and he turned around, looking to see if something was behind him, but he didn’t see anything. He turned back around, but Voula and Rufus were not in his view anymore.
“Mom?” Tommy called out. “Mom, where’d you go?”
He heard rustling and expected to see his mom coming through the brush, but instead, he was greeted with two rows of sharp fangs and a really pissed off vampire.
“Ah!” Tommy screamed.
“Get off him!” Rufus yelled as the vampire bore down on Tommy. The vampire turned it’s attention to the older hunter and tossed him into a tree. Voula rushed at him and managed to nick him before it had her pinned to the ground, fangs ready to attack.
“No!” Tommy called out. Adrenaline seemed to take over then as he kicked the vampire in the side, knocking it off his mom, before he swung the sword downwards and sliced his head off his body, just like he had seen his mom do in his vision. He stood there for a moment, breathing heavily.
“Tommy,” Voula’s soft voice barely hit his ears. She got to her feet and made her way over to her son before kneeling in front of him and cupping his face in her hands. “Γλυκό μου αγόρι (my sweet boy).”
“I…” Tommy looked over at the vampire.
“Hot damn! That was fucking amazing!” Rufus called out. “He was a little bit older, I’d buy him a beer. Hell, I think he deserves a shot of whiskey.”
“Mom?” Tommy asked. Voula laughed a little.
“I think you deserve a drink,” She smiled a little. “You’ve got a gift Tommy. We need to work on growing it. You have the potential to be an amazing hunter.” The three headed back to the cars, where Rufus handed Tommy a bottle of Jack Daniels. Tommy was sure a thirteen-year-old shouldn’t be drinking whiskey, but he had also been sure about twenty-four hours ago that vampires were limited to Bela Lugosi and that was it. Tommy took the bottle from Rufus and took a swig, cringing at the way it burned on the way down.
“I’ll take care of the body,” Rufus told them as he took the bottle from Tommy. “You two head on home.”
“Come on,” Voula motioned for Tommy. “I’ll see you later Rufus.” He raised the bottle and took a drink as the two of them headed back to Voula’s car.
“Hey mom?” Tommy asked once they were in the car and heading home. Voula had decided they needed Taco Bell after the night they had had.
“Yeah?” Voula asked as they headed to the place closest to their house.
“I...tell me everything,” Tommy told her. Voula smiled. As much as she thought that her kids would never follow the family tradition, here they were. And honestly, she couldn’t be happier.
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years
Text
Natural Born Killers Chapter 12 (Sam x Dean)
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Title: Natural Born Killers Chapter 12
Summary:  It started as an accident. That’s what it was. But things escalated from there and now the law wants Dean Winchester, one way or another.
Warnings: Language, some hurt!sam and some hurt!dean
Present
“Don’t you think it’s a little weird just staring at him?” Diana asked as she stood by Victor. “Have you even asked him if he needs to use the bathroom?”
“An hour ago. He declined.” Victor said. “And I just want to observe for a little bit. Watch the way he ticks.”
“Man, if you were someone else I’d say you have a crush on him.” Diana laughed. Victor glared at her. “I mean, you stare at him any longer and I’m going to start expecting you to go watch a documentary about Ted Bundy and call him hot.” Victor rolled his eyes. “Okay, well you stand here and watch him like a creep. Call me if you need anything.”
****
2006
“Sam?” Dean said, getting Sam to open his eyes after a vision had tore through him. It was getting a little better each time. Sam didn’t pass out the way he had. Usually he just had to close his eyes for a second to calm down.
“‘M okay.” Sam said, leaning back against the passenger seat.
“What did you see?” Dean asked.
“Headlights.” Sam said. “And twisted metal. That’s about it.”
“Why couldn’t your freaky visions be a little more specific?” Dean asked. Dean took a glance over at Sam. “Sorry. I know you can’t control what you see.”
“It’s okay. I agree. I wish that it was more than just some flashes here and there.” Sam rubbed his eyes. They had been doing hunts on and off, since speaking with Missouri. They had even found one of the other kids that was born psychic, only for him to turn a gun on himself with his own powers.
Then there was Meg. She was a girl Sam had met when him and Dean had had a huge fight. Dean ended up almost getting eaten by a demigod Scarecrow, and Sam had gotten a stalker in the name of Meg Masters. She was determined to kill Dean and get Sam all for herself, and had made a pact with some shadow monsters called Daeva. She started to kill people using them, and would’ve gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for Bobby rushing in and Sam flipping her alter, causing the Daeva to throw her from the window.
Sam had had visions about most of it, but not all. He didn’t see the scarecrow, just Dean in the orchard. He didn’t see Meg, just the Daeva. If only it had told him more. What was the point of having these damn things if it was just going to tell him part of the story?
“Where are we headed?” Sam asked, looking out the window.
“Bobby’s.” Dean said. “After everything that happened with Meg and the Daeva, he thought it would do us some good to relax there.”
“Good idea.” Sam said. But the hairs on the back of his neck seemed to stand on end. He looked around. Something about the scenery seemed familiar.
“Sam?” Dean asked. “You okay?” He glanced over at Sam. Through the darkness, two bright headlights seemed to be the first thing Sam saw.
“NO!” Sam screamed. And that’s when the truck hit them. Screeching tires, flying glass. Sam felt like a rag doll as he was thrown around. The truck stopped though and so did Baby. Dean and Sam’s bodies came to rest in the front seat of the crushed up car. Sam groaned and looked around, trying to figure everything out.
“Shit!” He heard a voice say. They hadn’t been far from Bobby’s, and the sound of the crash had echoed in the empty area. Bobby was there. “Sam, son, can you hear me?” Sam wasn’t sure if he responded or not, but Bobby was calling for help. “Sam, help is on the way.” Sam nodded but closed his eyes to rest for a bit.
The next thing he knew, him and Dean were being loaded into an ambulance.
“De.” Sam said, reaching out for him. “De!”
“Sir, you need to calm down.” The EMT said gently. “You both have been in a serious car accident. We’re taking you to Sioux Fall General. You and your husband are just going to be just fine.”
“What?” Sam asked, unsure if he had just heard right.
“Your husband’s dad told us.” The EMT told Sam. “Don’t worry Sam, we’re going to take care of you.” His eyes were black just as Sam shut his eyes.
****
“Your injuries weren’t that bad.” The doctor told Sam hours later. He hadn’t been able to see Dean the entire time, and he was just itching to be discharged. “I recommend staying for observation though.”
“I’ll be in the hospital, but I’m fine.” Sam said. “I need to get to Dean.”
“His dad is with him right now. You need to rest.” The doctor said, but Sam shook his head. The doctor sighed. “Fine. I’ll get your papers.” He sighed and left to get a nurse to bring Sam his discharge papers. She brought them in later, Sam signed them, and then made his way to where they told him Dean was.
He stood outside the window, watching Dean. Fuck, he looked back. His body looked so broken and Sam wasn’t even sure if he had woken up since he had been brought to the hospital. He didn’t see anyone in Dean’s room, and he wasn’t sure who the dad was they had been talking about. It had to be Bobby. That’s all he could think of.
“It’s okay.” A nurse said, placing her hand on Sam’s shoulder. “You just have to have faith.” She walked away from him, a smirk on his face.
That’s when pain erupted behind Sam’s eyes. He probably had a concussion, and mixing that with this vision was painful. His vision blurred and he braced himself against the wall, holding himself up.
He saw Dean, laying on the bed. Doctors and nurses were surrounding him. Someone was opening his shirt and placing those paddles on his chest. The monitor he was hooked up to showed a straight line. They tried and tried to get his heart started, but nothing worked.
Sam came back to before they called it. Tears were streaming down his face at what he had just seen. Everything else had come true so far. So why wouldn’t this? He looked into Dean’s room one more time. He wanted to go in there, to hold his hand until the end, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he went wandering, finding himself in the chapel.
“I don’t know if anyone is listening,” Sam began as he set in a pew, head bowed. “But Dean means the world to me. I just...don’t take him. Please don’t take him.” He felt someone sit next to him.
“Do you need to talk about it?” A man’s voice said.
“No.” Sam said, not really wanting to open up to a stranger.
“Come on Sam, you can tell me anything.” The man said with a bit of a chuckle. Sam turned to look at him.
And was greeted with yellow eyes.
“You!” Sam yelled, jumping up.
“Lower your voice Sam. We are in the house of the lord after all.” He smiled at Sam. “I believe my son told you my name.”
“Azazel.” Sam said. He nodded.
“You are a smart one Sam.” He said. “And I’ve been looking for you for a long, long time.”
“Just go away.” Sam said, trying to walk away from the demon. But something he said made Sam stop in his tracks.
“I can save him.” Azazel said. Sam stopped and looked at him. “Dean. I can save him. Your vision doesn’t have to come true.”
“And what do you want from me?” Sam asked, his mind starting to consider everything.
“All you have to do is come with me.” Azazel said. “No soul exchanging, no first born children. Just come with me and Dean won’t die.” Sam didn’t even have to think it through. Given his option, it was a no brainer.
“Okay. Now save him.”
****
Dean’s eyes opened slowly. God, his body was sore and his head hurt. And his mouth was dry. He blinked a few times to clear his blurry vision before he took a glance around the room. He didn’t see Sam looming over him, but he did see Bobby. And that’s when his panic started to set in. If Sam wasn’t in here, was he…
“Dean?” Bobby asked.
“B-Bobby.” Dean coughed a little.
“Boy, you got so lucky.” He laughed. “Truck mainly hit the back of the Impala. Barely missed you. Oh, and I’m your dad. It’s the only way they’d let me in to see you.” There was a water bottle on the table by Dean’s bed. Bobby helped him drink some to help his sore throat.
“Where’s Sam?” Dean asked. “You said we weren’t that bad.”
“I don’t know. I’ll go see what I can find out.” Bobby stopped before he headed out. “Oh, you might want this back. They took it off in case your fingers swelled.” He set the black wedding band on the table and walked out. Dean stared at it for a second. He knew Bobby had to have seen the matching one on Sam’s finger. And he wasn’t really ready to lose the only family that cared for them.
Bobby came back a moment later, his face ashen.
“Bobby? What is it?” Dean asked.
“Sam, uh, he’s not here.” Bobby said. “He was discharged awhile ago and he’s gone.”
“What? How?” Dean asked. Bobby brought a piece of paper over to Dean.
“Smell this.” He said. Dean raised an eyebrow and sniffed the paper, cringing back a little. It smelled like…
“Sulfur.” Dean whispered. Bobby nodded. “Oh god, Sammy. What did you do?”
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years
Text
The Day the Music Died Chapter 8
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Title: The Day the Music Died Chapter 8
Summary: In 1959, a plane crash tragically took the lives of three musicians and their pilot. But the mysterious circumstances send the Winchester brothers on an adventure. Now they have a mystery to solve…before one of them joins the other three.
Warnings: None that I can think of.
AN: You might want to watch this video. It’ll make sense later. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQXVHITd1N4&t=1s
1958
November turned to December and Sam was starting to lose hope of ever getting back to his own time. The 50’s weren’t so bad if you could look past all the racism, sexism, wealth gap, homophobia, and everything else. It had a cool aesthetic though. Maria seemed to love being able to grease Sam’s hair back to help him fit in. She really liked spending time with Sam. But Buddy did too. He was trying to teach Sam how to play drums and he was teaching Sam how to take care of the guitars and equipment for when they went on tour in January.
The doomed tour, and Sam would be there to watch it all crash down.
Buddy and Waylon were out, talking with the other members of Buddy’s new band. Sam had been there when he told the Crickets “screw you” and left them behind. So he had convinced Waylon to join him and a couple others on the tour. There was this pretty cool cat from California that was going to be joining them, as well as another fellow Texas boy. Sam and Maria knew exactly who they were and what was going to be happening to them.
So Sam and Maria stayed behind while Buddy and Waylon did their thing. Sam wasn’t sure what to do, so he took to helping Maria with the cooking. There was a small radio plugged in, sitting on the counter. Maria was reading through a cookbook, trying to figure out which recipe would be best for dinner that night. Sam set at the table, reading the week befores copy of Life. Elvis had just played a little bit ago, followed by one of Buddy’s songs. After a few ads and some talking from the DJ, a Connie Francis song came on and Maria couldn’t stop smiling. She turned to look at Sam.
“Stupid cupid you’re a real mean guy.” She sang. Sam glanced up at her. “I’d like to clip your wings so you can’t fly!” She walked over to him, making him look up at her. “I am in love and it’s a crying shame…” She leaned in to kiss him then, but Sam gently pushed her away.
“Maria…” Sam said. The song was still playing in the background and Maria stood there awkwardly.
“I just thought…” She started to say.
“You’re married to Buddy.” Sam told her.
“Yeah, and I love him, but you know what happens.” She said.
“And I care too much about him to hurt him like that.” Sam said. “You’re the one that said you would have rather loved and been in pain than never have loved at all.” Maria nodded and set down, hiding her face. “Maria…”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do.” She looked up at Sam. “What am I supposed to do?” Sam leaned forward.
“You spend as much time with him as you can.” Sam said. “You love him like you’re gonna lose him.” Maria nodded. “I know how hard this is, but it will be okay.” She smiled a little, trying to hold back the tears. “Why don’t we change the subject and forget about what just happened?”
“When are you going to cut your hair?” Maria asked with a laugh. Sam glared some.
“Never.” He stated, matter of factly. Maria laughed.
“Good thing the 60’s is coming up. Though you might get mistaken for a member of the Manson family or something.” She teased.She stood up and went back to the cookbook. “Sam, would you chop some veggies for me?” Sam went right to it, so thankful that they had moved away from what had just happened.
They spent the rest of the afternoon cooking and making small talk. Sam ignored the looks that Maria tossed his way when she thought he wasn’t looking. She knew it had been a mistake to try to kiss him. She tried to just focus on the task at hand, getting ready to put the chicken and veggies in the oven. She put it in then went to do the dishes, but Sam had already gotten to them. Maria started throwing away the packaging when a song came on.
Day-o, day-o.
Maria stopped what she was doing and looked over at Sam, who looked right back at her with a smile on his face.
Daylight come and me wan’ go home.
Maria started miming along with the song.
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Sam and Maria faced each other and slowly started to stand up straighter, moving their arms as the song continued, smiles on their faces.
Work all night on a drink of rum
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Stack banana 'til de mornin' come
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Sam and Maria started mirroring each others movements, touching their head with one hand and their side with the other, switching back and forth between head and side. Sam reached over and grabbed an empty stockpot and flipped it over to use it as a drum while Maria kept dancing.
Lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Sam put the pot down as they stacked their hands, making it look like they were building a tall tower. The song kept playing and they kept dancing until they heard the garage door open, meaning Buddy was home. Maria turned down the music and went to check on her chicken. For a moment there, they both forgot about their situation, living in the moments that laid several decades ahead of them. A movie that Sam watched with Dean at a theater in some little town, and a movie that Maria went with her friends to see because Michael Keaton was just so dreamy.
“Smells good in here.” Buddy said, hanging up his jacket and kissing Maria. “What were you two up to today?”
“Just cooking and listening to the radio.” Sam said. Maria nodded.
“I was listening to see if I heard songs by either of those boys you’ll be touring with next month.” She cringed a little. The pain weighed heavy on her heart, knowing that in a little more than a month, her husband would be long gone.
“Well, Sam and I have some practice to do tomorrow. He’s getting really good with drumming.” Buddy patted his shoulder. “You might have your own band someday. Or you, me, and Waylon can team up and be bigger than Elvis.” Sam just smiled and glanced over at Maria. They both wanted to save him,but they knew that they couldn’t. Maria turned to busy herself with dinner. “Maybe I could convince you to become a singer while we’re at it.”
“That’s more of my brother’s speed, not mine.” Sam laughed. He had mentioned his brother a couple times, but he played it off as he was in the military and not around much. Which was partially true in Sam’s eyes, so he wasn’t lying completely.
“Well, you’ve proven yourself to pretty good on the drums, and you’re picking up guitar pretty quick. So you could probably sing like an angel but think you sound like a walrus.” He laughed. Maria got toast ready for their meal. Roasted chicken with vegetables and toast was one of her favorite comfort foods from her childhood. And today, she was really missing her home and her parents. Hell, she was even missing her little sister. And even though Buddy and Sam were there, chatting away to each other, she felt like she was alone.
“How are you honey?” Buddy asked her then, snapping her out of her moment of loneliness.
“Oh, I’m great.” She said, pasting a smile on her face. “I can’t wait to see you two play together.” She looked over at Sam, trying to hold back the tears. Part of her wanted to leave Buddy, to get away from the pain and possibly get back home. But she had been in love with him since the day she met him. She had even had a bit of a crush on him back in high school when she learned about him in her music appreciation class.
“Well, let’s eat up and then maybe Sam and I can put on a show for you.” He laughed. “I could call Waylon up and have him play with us too.” It was nice having Waylon around sometimes, since Maria and Sam could talk openly about things to him. Sometimes Sam forgot that there have been hunters as long as there had been people, because monsters would never go away and people were always going to need saving.
Maria served the food, just like she always did, even if sometimes Sam would cook instead. Occasionally, they would get something from town, or Maria and Buddy would go out together and Sam would go hang out with Waylon or just fend for himself. Something that he was used to doing. But they had really become a family since Sam fell into this time and part of him didn’t want to leave it.
But Dean was waiting for him.
The food was eaten, dishes were cleaned, and later that evening found Sam and Buddy in the garage with Maria sitting on a crate, watching them play. Sam wasn’t the best drummer in the whole world, and wouldn’t be winning any Grammy’s anytime soon, but he kept pace for Peggy Sue pretty well and even did decent on That’ll Be the Day.
“I think Mr. Winchester was lying to us about being able to play.” Buddy teased. “I might just have to add him to the band.” He patted Sam on the shoulder. “Holly and Winchester could be a good band name.” Sam just had to nod. He knew it would never happen unless he decided to intervene and save Buddy from getting on the plane. But he also knew how just unsinking the Titanic could change everything, down to the smallest details. And he wasn’t going to be responsible for any of that.
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