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#sorry i just like writing a bunch of shit whenever im angry
yumeyleo · 1 year
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why did my mother think having more than one cat was a good idea oh my FUCKING god
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chuplayswithfire · 7 months
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Im sorry about this i need to rant. I thought things were getting better but Izzy stan Twitter is at it again with their whining, truth bending and self-victimising.
'Do you like OMFD but wish the queer disabled hero didnt die?' IZZY IS NOT THE HERO OF THIS SHOW!!!!! He is at best a reformed antagonist. What an insult to the other disabled characters, and what about the actual heroes of the show??
'We've been betrayed by straight man writing queer stories'. First of all, way to dismiss the other writers. Also, its not his fault you project your personal traumas and mental health on a fictional character on a show with death in the title.
'GB's ending is comphet (?????) because 'we only need eachother' and theyre breaking away from their queer community' ED HAS BEEN WANTING TO LEAVE PIRACY SINCE LAST SEASON!!! also, its progress that Stede was able to resist basic flattery. And David made it clear that they still have work to do. This one truly broke my brain.
Im just sick of all this. Izzy stans have been coddled for the past week, being told its ok to grieve, but theyve crossed multiple lines. I do wish some things had been more explicit in this finale, only because David overestimated the maturity and media literacy of some people.
Sorry for this but i needed to talk to people here. Its beyond annoyance at this point. Im angry and sick of petty crybabies actively working to poison what we've built.
go off anon my inbox is open to your ranting let the rage flow through you [insert palpatine dot gif] but ngl the best thing you can do is just block liberally. block everyone. block left, right, center. do not be merciful. do not hold back. block until the ceiling comes down!!
because like, some of these fans have spent the last 18 months convincing themselves that their little guy was of equal importance to the main characters, the secret third protagonist, and he just got put in a box.
🎶izzy's in a box 🎶izzy's in a box🎶izzy's in a box🎶
izzy was never a hero of this show. he was a villain and then a side character on a rushed arc to redemption for the specific purpose of making him into the kind of man who could apologize to ed for being a shit. but that's hard to swallow for people who were convinced he was always right, so. also let's be honest: they don't give a shit about the other disabled people on this show. a bunch of them were trying to figure out a way for it to be wee john who was killed, and kristian is actually a queer disabled actor. they're just mad it was their little guy who they latched onto.
also yeah like four of the writers are nonbinary people of color, and there's definitely more queer writers on the team, but somehow this was totally the decision of a straight white guy. alright folks come on now to quote your idol pack it in.
gentlebeard's ending is them deciding to give their relationship a go in a more relaxed and sedate environment than the high stress locale of a pirate ship. their friends ARE going to come see them again. just because they don't all live together in the same frat house i mean ship doesn't mean they're suddenly forever alone. also there is nothing comphet about shacking up with your gay lover in a soon to be literal loveshack.
but like you can't expect these folks to care about ed or stede or gentlebeard or anything that doesn't center their white man of choice. the only thing you can do is block because anyone still throwing a fit a week later is simply not worth it.
no need to apologize anon. return to my inbox whenever.
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maxisanangrywell · 21 days
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back on my simon riley with rheumatoid arthritis shit.
so im getting checked out for juvenile RA, (cause if ur under 28 it's considered juvenile i believe) and its making a lot of things really difficult, so imma project on ghostie here for a bit.
TW: Stress, Stress Vomiting
Part One; Lightning
Ghost has good and bad days. On the good days, he gets to take his N-SAID, probably Celebrex, and it actually works. He doesn't get stiff much, and it doesn't feel like his hands are stuck in a really touch slime and he's trying to move them around.
On the bad days? God it sucks.
He cannot do paperwork. Holding the pen in the way he needs to sign off documents or write his own is genuinely painful. He has to force his hand open with the other when he has no choice but to sign the paperwork. (Or sometimes take his glove off and stick his hand under hot water until he can feel the stiffness recede enough to move it.)
He can still use his weapons, but it's a chore on the bad days. It's too dangerous, and so he's benched until he gets an all clear from medical as they're reviewing his x-rays to see how bad it's gotten.
He can't open soda cans anymore. Can't lift the tabs on soups or bean cans. He can't operate a can opener either. He has to get these things called Tab Buddies for the cans, and then if he has to use a can opener, he angrily passes it to Soap. (At that point, his pride is screaming at him to not eat anymore, but he needs to eat.)
They're still waiting on X-rays and he gets more imaging done, just to see truly how bad it's gotten. The positions they make him put his hands in are painful, and he feels tears prickle in his eyes as he clenches his jaw and grinds his teeth.
It keeps getting worse, and Simon quickly finds himself getting angry and depressed. Why him? Why now? He was on the top of his game, he had finally felt just a smidge of happiness, and now he had to dig up the birth certificate he never used and show it to the world the death certificate was simply for his job. To operate safely.
Now he doesn't have a job. His family is a bunch of soldiers who love their job and can continue doing it. He can't do what he loves, bringing terrorists to their knees and making them beg for the mercy they never gave others. The mercy he wouldn't give. Now, he has to confront his trauma and become a civilian. Figure out how to live with such a disability, he cannot preform basic fucking functions anymore.
How the fuck is he going to do this? If it's this bad within three years, and getting worse fast, how fucking bad is it going to be in the next year? Or next eight?
Was he even going to be able to use his hands in the next coming ten years?
Medical comes back with devastating news he knew from the get-go.
"Sorry Lieutenant, you're going to have to be honorably discharged. There's nothing we can do."
He doesn't get angry, he just feels resigned.
So, he gets discharged, and he's holding his head in his hands hyperventilating at 1 in the morning in his flat in Manchester. Crying, sobbing, beside his toilet with his mask across the tiled floor somewhere. The occasional sickness poured from his mouth into the toilet.
Fuck.
He's become everything he didn't want to be. Soon to be homeless, disabled, and how the fuck was he going to find work when fine motor skills is all he knows?
"Fuck me."
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Comment on this Post if you want to be tagged whenever I post this AU!!
Pls like & reblog if you want to see more of this au. :) im really excited about this one, as the 141 are all going to have different chronic ailments. it's a story about hope and perseverance, with a little touch of romance and a shit ton of drama. Also.... Tommy, Beth and Joseph survived the Christmas Massacre, because I said so.
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captainlevisteacup · 3 years
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Oooh, an idea has struck. The brothers reacting to Dom Male!MC reuniting with his childhood bestfriend in the Devildom, only their bestfriend is now a high ranking/powerful incubus who has a fuck ton of influence & money. (Not nearly as powerful as any of the brothers or Diavolo, of course, but you get the point)
And while normally a simple childhood friend wouldn’t be enough to bother the brothers, DM!MC’s Femboy CH!Bestfriend is the optimum of gorgeous, with a lithe & toned body and an “innocent” charm to him.
Spoiler Alert, CH!Bestfriend has been in love with DM!MC since they were kids (though it was just puppy love back then) and is determined to never let him get away from him again, resulting in him being extra clingy and needy.
Another Spoiler Alert, DM!MC’s childhood bestfriend may or may not be a mix of a “Worship” & “Self Sacrifice” Yandere.. (Look up “The Dere Types Wiki” if your confused)
You have some very interesting ideas😂 im so sorry this took so long, I didn't want to post it until I was back up to my full working capacity after getting injured and after breaking up with someone😁
Anyways, without further ado, here ya go😘
The Brother's Reactions to M! MC'S Yandere Childhood Incubus! Friend
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Warnings: Violence, Language, Blood, VERY SLIGHT sexual themes, some non-consentual touching in Levi's section, brief mention of drugging in Beel's
Lucifer
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At first, didn't think twice of MC having a childhood friend
But when he heard the word incubus
He got the smile on his face
You know the one
Lucifer "innocently" is around whenever the incubus is around
Its starts off small
Little poisoned glances from the incubus here and there
But eventually it escalated and turned into him putting a possessive arm around MC's waist
Lucifer snapped
The second the Incubus was alone, Lucifer followed him down an alley
Slammed that fucker against the wall and held him there by the throat
The incubus started laughing, even when Lucifer tightened his grip
"You'll never get rid of me. I have connections to everyone, Fallen Angel. I've loved him since before you even knew he existed, and a prissy peacock like you isnt gonna stop me from making him mine, even if I have to drug and kidnap him"
Lucifer only smiled and released him
The incubus smirked, daintily dusting off his lithe figure
Thinking he won, he shouldered his way past Lucifer
Only to stop short in horror
Deep growls greeted him
Lucifer didn't even bother hiding the screams of the incubus as Cerberus ripped into him
After a while, he signaled Cerberus to stop
As the incubus lies on the ground whimpering, Lucifer calmly says:
"Now that I've shown you just what I'm willing to do to protect MC, I'll make you a deal. MC cares about you, as a FRIEND. But his heart belongs to me and me alone, and mine belongs to him. If you can understand and respect that, I'll allow you near him. But one wrong word, one wrong placement of a hand, and I won't hesitate to finish you off myself. And believe me," he says with a dark chuckle "I won't be as gentle as Cerberus."
Mammon
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This man immediately is on high alert
Someone trying to take what's HIS?
The incubus makes him more greedy than ever
Decides not to leave MC's side for a second
Even when he's sleeping
When Mammon can't help the incu-bitch (his nickname for the childhood friend) being around, he acts sort of like a child, which makes him look like a dick in comparison to the incubus's calm and innocent facade
Mammon tries to tell MC there's something up, but he just chalks it up to Mammon being Mammon
One day, MC randomly receives news from the human world that his mother contracted something contagious and was placed in ICU
The incu-bitch was, of course, right there when MC started tearing up, letting him cry into his shoulder
Mammon sees this and starts to protest
This leads MC to snap and tell Mammon he's being a child
Mammon leaves them be and thinks hard
Comes to the conclusion that maybe MC is right, and he begrudgingly decides to apologize to the incubus
As he approaches him, Mammon catches a glimpse of the Incubus's *expensive* phone
Unable to resist, he throws a coin against the wall in the opposite direction.
When he turns to look at the noise, Mammon snatches the phone and yeets off to his room
When he gets there, he opens the phone- no lock- and is startled by what he sees
A fake texting app, along with the messages telling MC his mother was sick
Mammon was about to run to find MC, when he heard a slight chuckle
Looking up, he saw the incubus...holding a knife
"You just couldn't stay away, could you? You've been a pain in the ass ever since I got here. But no matter, once MC sees how *cruel* you are to his defenseless childhood friend, he'll want nothing to do with you. And he'll be mine to fuck and own as I please."
Mammon gritted his teeth and ground out "Making MC think his mother was gravely ill just to get close to him when he's vulnerable? You're disgusting. I actually care about MC, and I respect them more than you ever will."
The incubus snorted, and raised the knife.
"Oi! What do ya think you're doing with that?" Mammon yelled
He raised the knife....and slashed it across his own arm
He then threw the knife towards Mammon, threw himself to the ground, and yelled out in pain
Suddenly, MC burst into the room
Mammon sputtered out a panicked explanation, but MC cut him off with a stare
He kneeled down next to his friend, who reached up with a bloody hand to cup MC'S face
MC put his hand over the incubus's....and sharply bent it backwards
He leaned down and whispered into his ear: "I heard everything, you little shit. Now, get the FUCK out of my house and away from my boyfriend, and don't even THINK of defiling my life with your presence ever again"
After he left, Mammon cautiously said "boyfriend, huh..?"
"Shut up mammon"
Levi
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Oh, this won't do
Immediately feels threatened and triggered
He is the avatar of Envy, after all
His response?
Prove to MC nobody can know him as well as he can
He does this every single time the incubus is near
"MC, I got you your favorite drink!"
"MC, I ordered you some food. Don't worry, I already know what you like"
Flinches whenever the incu-bitch touches MC. It literally makes him cringe
His suspicions are confirmed when the incubus shoots Levi a malicious glance next time he touches MC
Levi snaps
Challenges the incubus to a video game duel
He surprisingly accepts
He cheats like hell and beats Levi
Levi goes into his demon form and rages
But MC thinks he's just being a sore loser
He tells Levi to back off and to go cool down
Once Levi storms off, the incu-bitch thanks MC for standing up for him
Then, he promptly tries to make a move on MC
He reaches out a hand to unbutton MC'S shirt
MC slaps his hand away, but not before noticing writing on the Incubus's hand
Before he can pull away, MC snatches his hand and sees cheat codes written on them
Gets super upset and tries to get up to apologize to Levi
The incubus pulls him back down by his wrist and pins them to the couch
"MC, don't you realize? You're all I want, all I need. I WORSHIP you, MC. And you're going to be mine. Nobody else can have you. And you're going to love me, whether you realize it right now or not. You'll learn with time to need me just as desperately as I need you"
Starts to take off MC'S clothes in spite of their fighting and protests, the incubus shushing him
"Shhhh, I know you don't see it, but this will make you see."
Levi slams open the door, tail lashing and face white with rage
"Get your normie hands the fuck off of my human. Now."
The incubus nopes the fuck out. He may be a high ranking incubus, but he still isn't as strong as one of the seven demon brothers.
Levi holds MC tightly as they fumble over an apology
"Shhh MC, its okay. I'm here now. Let's watch some anime and calm down together, yea?"
Satan
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Do I even have to explain this one?
Is hostile as soon as MC even MENTIONS a childhood male friend, let alone an INCUBUS
Honestly, the Incubus is a bit scared of Satan
But, he decides he wants MC more than he fears Satan
So, he swallows his fear and patronizes Satan in tiny, unremarkable ways
Ways that would only be noticed by Satan
A stray hand here and there that lingers a LITTLE too long
Wiping a crumb from MC'S lips during a meal
Tucking a stray hair behind MC'S ear
Every last one of these actions makes his blood boil
It gets so bad that Satan is just in a perpetual state of rage, never leaving his demon form
Satan starts passive aggressively insulting the incubus's intelligence
"Oh, you mean you don't know how disestablishmentarianism impacted the overall congruence of Midwest society? Thats odd, its fairly simple. Practically common sense."
Is shocked when MC got livid at him, because he was being condescending for seemingly no reason
Starts to get angry at MC
"Can't you see? He's trying to turn you against me. Just LISTEN, DAMNIT!" He says as he grabs MC'S shoulders
The incubus barges in and shoves Satan away from MC
"Are you ok, MC? Did he hurt you?"
The amount of white hot rage in the room was tangible
He can't do it anymore
Slams the incubus against the wall
Knocks him to the ground
But when he falls down
A bunch of photos fall out of his jacket
Not normal photos
Horrifying ones
One of MC while he showers
One of MC sleeping
One of MC changing
Even one of MC and Satan having a steamy moment
MC goes still...and then SLAPS the shit out of the incubus.
He wordlessly turns to Satan, eyes pleading
"It would be my pleasure, MC" *evil grin*
Cue Satan dragging the incubus off by his hair
Asmo
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P A S S I V E A G R E S S I V E
He sees this lovely incubus with NEARLY perfect hair, a lithe and toned body, and a seemingly innocent attitude, and he just wants him gone
He's been with plenty of Incubi, so he knows what they're like
Because of this, he doesn't want this one anywhere NEAR his darling MC
Comes up with a plan to use all his fashion design connections to outdress the incubus
He knows they're vain by nature, so he comes to the conclusion that this is the best course of action
But there's a problem
"Is that a statement piece from Priya Lacroix? She hasn't even released her collection yet"
Asmo.exe is not responding
He knows that HE is the only one Priya would ever give an early release to
So why does THE INCUBUS have her statement piece?
And WHERE is his phone?
Complains to MC, but MC doesn't take him seriously because he's too busy catching up with his friend
Asmo gets jealous and storms off to do a stress relieving skin routine
As MC and the incubus hang out, the incubus's phone goes off
Only...the ringtone is sinful indulgence
Mammon storms into the room
"AHA! I FOUND YA ASMO, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE- huh?"
"I/N? Why do you have Asmo's phone?"
"MC, you have to understand, I just want you to realize I'm the only right one for you. You NEED to realize you can't be with anyone else. Because you're mine, MC. You always have been."
Screeching could be heard in the distance, then footsteps quickly getting closer and closer
"THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY" Asmo yells as he slams open the door
"As if MC would choose a crusty, obsessive, STEALING, lying, probably STD having Incubus like you over me! Now give me my phone back and get out of here. And while you're at it, take off that Priya piece. There's a reason I'm the only one allowed early access."
Beel
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Honestly doesn't think that much of it at first
He thinks its nice MC reunited with one of his childhood friends, and an Incubus at that
But when he meets the friend, something just feels off
He gets a weird sensation, and its not hunger
Its like his senses are on red alert
The incubus was nice enough to Beel, seemingly charming and genuine
But Beel couldn't help but feel rubbed the wrong way, with a sensation similar to seaweed against legs in the ocean
He doesn't want to mention this to MC, because he's convinced he's just overreacting
He feels a little sad that MC is too busy for him, but he does his best to give them time together
One night, he had made some food in the kitchen and decided to bring MC and I/N some
When he neared the door, he almost dropped the plate
He heard a loud thud, and MC saying "Hey, I said no, okay?"
He gently opened the door and looked at MC, who immediately forced a smile to his face
"Hey MC, I brought you guys some food. Is everything ok?"
"Thanks Beel, that's sweet of you. Everything's fine, I promise"
Beel relaxed a bit, although he still knew something was off.
The incubus excused himself to use the restroom, encouraging MC to eat without him
Beel and MC sat down, and Beel scarfed down his portion
Chuckling, MC offered his plate to Beel, who gladly accepted
The incubus opened the door shortly after with an expectant look on his face, as well as rope and a gag in his hands
Upon laying eyes on MC, a shocked expression came onto his face as his eyes darted between MC and the empty plate
"How are you still conscious?" He blurted
Confusion flashed across MC'S face. "What do you mean, I/N?"
"You drugged it, didn't you?" Beel spoke up.
"I thought it tasted odd," Beel continued "but I never would have guessed you would actually drug MC. I'm guessing you couldn't handle that MC rejected your advances, so you drugged the food while MC was distracted talking to me. Am I right?"
The incubus chuckled. "Guess I was wrong about you. You are more of a threat than you seem. Heh, I guess you're not just a talking stomach after all."
A loud smack could be heard shortly thereafter.
But the devastating blow didn't come from Beel
It came from an enraged MC
"Trying to drug me I could keep my cool over. If thats all you did I would have just told you to stay the hell away from me. But the SECOND you spoke to Beel like that, you signed your own death warrant."
Before he could react, MC summoned the brothers one by one, Beel explaining the situation.
"Well, MC, perfect timing as always. I was just beginning to get bored" Satan drawled
*screams*
Belphie
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It takes a yandere to know one
Belphie doesn't want to alarm MC though, so he decides to outmaneuver the incubus without him noticing
It starts small, with I/N reaching out to put an arm over MC'S shoulder, and Belphie's arm already being there
Eventually, they start glaring daggers at each other the second MC looks away
After a while, Belphie decides to up the ante
Religiously falls asleep on MC when I/N is trying to spend time with him
Goads the incubus so much that he corners Belphie when he snaps and can't take any more
"Listen, I know exactly what you're doing. But if you think that YOU can take him away from me, you're sorely mistaken. MC is mine whether he likes it or not. And if it turns out to be the latter, well, let's just say he won't have much of a choice in the matter, nor will you have any control over it. Got that?"
Belphie does the one thing he knows will get the outcome he had painstakingly built up to the past couple weeks: he laughs
"Ah, you have a good sense of humor, know that? Funny stuff. All kidding aside, MC already belongs to me. So your child's play isn't gonna cut it. Got THAT?"
With a choked cry of fury, the incubus pulls out a knife and stabs Belphie
Belphie, having planned this, falls to the floor just as the door opens to reveal a shocked MC.
"BELPHIE! Shit, please be okay! What the FUCK is wrong with you, I/N?"
The stunned Incubus could only stammer out a couple words
"I- he...was gonna...tried to take what was mine. Tried to take you..."
MC laughed bitterly and shoved him to the floor.
"I don't know what sick world you're living in, but I belong to Belphie. I love him. And I hate YOU. Now I'll leave you be so you can deal with THAT. Ta ta." He says as he scoops up Belphie and heads out the door
"Deal with what?" I/N nervously asks after him, backing up warily
The incubus stops when his back hits something hard.
Gulping, he looks up...
"Hello, I/N, I'm Beel."
"Nice to...meet you? I imagine you're one of the brothers?" He replies shakily
Beel smiles. The light doesn't reach his eyes.
"Yes, I'm one of the brothers. You see, I'm Belphie's twin."
Across the house, Belphie smiles at the faint screams, MC curled up next to him after patching him up.
He succeeded in protecting what was his. He deserves a good nap. Holding MC tighter, he goes back to sleep.
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Prove Me Wrong
M!Reader x Oikawa
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a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!
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anon:
-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳
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YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED
LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?
okayokayokay
so in the request above
this is a m!reader
meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now
you are,,,
distant
and cold
but its mainly just because you were,,,
too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing
between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club
the mans can only do so much
so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno
✨gRaDuaATiOn✨
unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru
why is that a bad thing?
well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,
the screams become 10x bass boosted
then imagine that with your sensitive hearing
now,,
it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave
BUT NOOOOOO
he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings
even then,
the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out
now
you dont hate him
you just genuinely dislike his way of living
and the way he talks
and the way he acts
yea see?
no hate
theres a difference
then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult
they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention
so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon
then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings
your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them
‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’
DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU
this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business
they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you
even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left
LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU
but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying
YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS
the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you
your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them
YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N
the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself
your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him
‘the hell you looking at?’
you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile
‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’
‘HAH?!’
now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?
but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed
‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’
KSDFJLSDKJFS
THE NERVE OF THIS MAN
the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground
maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more
again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable
you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly
then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways
ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming
especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now
as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you
‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’
his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him
‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’
you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps
there he was
smiling and giggling with those girls
all he does is smile and giggle and shit
its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication
it was pathetic and disgusting
poor oikawa :(
now on to baby flatttykawa side,
he was kinda hurt by that
like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?
sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact
but its still something, right?
right?
when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had
his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude
‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’
the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 
‘yep! all good!’
GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
truth be told,
oikawa has always noticed you
not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits
then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees
he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes
then during class, you sat by the window
tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk
others might call you lazy
others might call you a video game all nighter kid
but they dont notice the things you do
the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare
he knew it was creepy to do it
but you were so silent
you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 
thats why nobody knows anything about you
with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?
maybe thats why it drew you to him
all his life he chased, 
but now hes the one chasing?
tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands
tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked
tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox
and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru
the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual
he notices and knows all these things about you
things that people never really even bothered to 
oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch
the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy
oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch
then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off
that made oikawa giggle
he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet
‘oi, oikawa’
makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them
‘hm? so you do notice me!’
iwa glared
‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’
oikawa shot him an offended look
‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’
mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked
‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’
oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad
‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’
makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning
‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’
SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)
oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing
‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’
he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 
iwa sighed
‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’
‘what?! what did i do?!’
iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend
‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’
so thats how oikawa came to terms of it
he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you
and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?
baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar
he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear
but today just wasnt the day
maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life
last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess
to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that
but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep
hehehe single parent working late tingz
ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC
so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep
so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro
the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you
mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation
so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day
‘oi! l/n!’
your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy
‘hey’
you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright
‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’
but you waved your hand
‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’
the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms
‘here. at least take this’
makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile
‘thanks’
you mumbled before wandering off
once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention
‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’
mattsun stopped before nodding
‘yea thats a good idea’
SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS
oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat
the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual
his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun
‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’
okay that made him super worried
totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you
but these fangirls were the first problem
he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush
‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’
like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you
he stood up and walked over to your seat
‘m/n-chan’
he called out, looking down at you
‘m/n-chan’
he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it
‘dont touch me, oikawa’
you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows
‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’
he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand
‘i was until you came over, idiot’
ouch
tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that
he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little
and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 
as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry
now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball
so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now
DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-
okay nevermind
anyways
tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go
thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside
‘M/N-CHAN!’
he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there
and ew bathroom floors is bleh
you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back
tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst
and yep
the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes
‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’
she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed
he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand
his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked
gosh, you really were so cute
your personality just sucked ass
constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot
hmph
not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class
as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone
a certain idiot
‘oi. oikawa, wake up’
you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake
at first, he was confused
looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary
yea it was cute and what about it
then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled
‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’
he asked, leaning close 
but you placed your hand on his face to push him away
‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’
you grumbled and he whined
‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’
he complained and you rolled your eyes
‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’
SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK
oikawa frowned
‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’
you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows
then you chuckled dryly
‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’
wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT
tooru was taken aback
‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’
you blinked at him
‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’
your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm
‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’
‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’
there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his
‘what? i-’
‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’
you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest
‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’
at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes
‘how did you know’
you rolled your eyes
‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’
oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest
so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff
but you continued on your rant
‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’
maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes
‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’
‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’
do you regret it?
i mean,,,
kinda?
but not really?
because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day
you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies
‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’
you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned
you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk
but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool
it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly
‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’
rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru
you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others
makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled
‘god, that kid deserves this’
‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’
IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY
oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too
also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it
‘i dont want you buying me-’
‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’
overtime, 
yea
sure
youve started to like him
youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle
you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins
then he didnt
against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed
even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played
until you couldnt take it anymore
you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall
DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT
oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile
‘m/n-chan, what are you-’
‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’
you deadpanned and tooru looked away
‘im fine’
‘are you lying to me, tooru?’
your voice was even but he could tell you were serious
he gulped before taking in a shakey breath
‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’
he exclaimed and you sighed
‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’
tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 
then he nodded
‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’
you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not
‘because i like you, idiot’
you confessed and swallowed thickly
oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered
‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’
he complained and he cried loudly
not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable
you rushed forward held him close to your chest
‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’
you whispered and pecked his neck 
of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little
you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway
yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming
some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?
what in the wattpad?
yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’
IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY
but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that
YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?
when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub
maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot
before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you
hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous
YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY
but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to
theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter
youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him
:’)
also!! 
your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff
you still call him idiot though
but like affectionately yanno?
and over the years youve turned it down to dummy
and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that
what in the dumbification-
because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao
youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much
while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff
like the one time
he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp
‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’
you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips
‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’
it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face
‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’
‘not if i do it first’
you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it
and as expected with oikawa tooru
‘yea okay sure’
‘i will!’
‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’
‘turn around right now’
oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile
‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’
his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger
your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled
‘i win. now marry me, dummy’
oikawa screamed
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a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid
124 notes · View notes
amphii-writes · 3 years
Text
Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have
these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh
warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing
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Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t
Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know
Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)
Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”
Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!
Aone likes to bake
Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing
daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON
Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry
Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid
Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 
Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage
Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact
Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it
Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane
Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions
Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year
Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown
Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him
Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team
Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out
Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid
Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary
Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on
Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady
There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke
Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible
Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.
80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord
Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)
Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry
Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.
Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him
During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more
mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’
Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why
mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around
For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit
Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto
Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”
Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween
Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion
Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody
Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can
Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid
Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold
Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)
Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting
Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 
KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU
Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.
Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))
Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month
TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID
atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)
tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won
i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.
Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit
Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious
tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them
Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though
Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit
kita knits and crochets with his grandma
Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran
Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn
kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up
Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks
akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice
Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again
Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.
Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know
Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming
Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"
Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off
Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord
Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym
suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest
The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother
Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|
Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray
tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it
Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said
the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"
oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid
yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together
Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"
tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him
Tsukishima had a my little pony phase
you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day
i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true
Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team
Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)
dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 
i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 
ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 
IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 
OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 
Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 
DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"
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34 notes · View notes
savnofilter · 4 years
Note
I think you're hilarious in such a good way and Im new to Tumblr. Your work is amzing and i was wondering if you have any bnha blog recommendations or must read fics?
WARNING! this gets long as SHIT. so im sorry. im on mobile so liek,, also there are shit ton of amazing writers on here but my memory has been terrible as of recently, so sorry about that. all the people mentioned have really good fics so going through their masterlist is the bes option i have on here for you!! also sorry this was so late, i did a lot of username checking and now finally got the balls to post this with their @s cnuidwneovn- also!! be mindful because i was iffy in tagging some because i wasnt too sure if they wrote for bnha anymore. so w/o further adieu!!!now for my fave ao3 fics (with no ranking)~
His Tryanny by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)
au: fantasy
summary: “Deep in a land just like in the fairy tales, lives 4 different kingdoms. But when a hot headed king of one kingdom wants to take over, he seeks for more power. A girl locked away in a tower for her entire life because of her forbidden power, finds a new life when an ash blonde male comes flying through her window. How will their life play out?”
my thoughts: FUCKINGT AMAZING BOOK LIKE I FUCKING STAN. TT its so fucking good! the angst, the tension, angry bloody bakugo?! fucking check! amazing book!! 12/10 will always recommend. mc will say “million reasons” i be like “his tyranny tho, 👀” (and other books but we have to appreciate my highness rq).
completed: yis!
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My Angel by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)
au: greek mythology
summary: “The infamous fallen angel, serving under Hades (AFO), Bakugou Katsuki, was known for constantly wreaking havoc within heaven. Defying against God and other deities, he was blacklisted from Heaven. (l/n) (y/n) being an elite archangel under Athena (Miruko), is set on a mission to rid of Bakugou Katsuki but takes a 180 when you sudden began developing feelings for the crooked angel during the confrontation – him reciprocating the feelings. Though relationships between a worker of God and a demon was the greatest sin, and faced consequences to those who are caught. ~ Having to sneak around and hide your relationship with the fallen angel how would an archangel keep her status under God while simultaneously keeping an accursed romantic affair.(sorry i suck at summaries lmao)”
my thoughts: you know, i just have a craving to live a life in greekish-mythologyish and reading lore of olympus makes it partly redeemed. but this takes the cake. LIKE?! oh my fucking god! absoluetely love and im still reading it cause im slow asf but its so good so far! and she doesnt at all, the summaries are what got me interested!!
completed: neh~
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I’m Broken Too (Shigaraki x Reader x Dabi) by Kikyo851 (quotev; kikyo851/tumblr; @heroes-among-us-all)
au: canon
summary: “What’s a girl to do when she can’t quite make it as a hero? Become a villain, of course.”
my thoughts: okay so youre thinking, “that summary is short asf” but godtdamn the book is motherfucking good dawg. lieke,,, this absolutely fueled my villain spark way back whenever. (you can gladly thank this book and all the dabi fics from @lord-explosion-baku, who also has a book called “thorns” which is also on ao3. i havent read it because im not into that au but it has many good reviews!!)
completed: neh~
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Million Reasons by Chub_Rye (other socials; not listed)
au: future canon (?)
summary: “This is not a happy story, you really wished it was but how can it be when your marriage is falling apart. You truly love your husband, the thing is…he doesn’t seem to feel the same anymore ((Trigger warning: this is a very emotional heavy story, you have been warned.)) Inspiration: Million Reasons by Lady Gaga”
my thoughts: 
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*if i had the time i would edit to: “im fucking sobbing fam”* because this shit hurtedt. like, HURTEDT. this book, this very book is the reason why fucking katsuki fucking bakugo slapped down the damn rankings on my list. didnt fucking like him for like two weeks, just thinking about him made me mad as FUCK. but its written so good i cant be mad?! i… okay moving on before i start crying and listing reasons why katsuki needs to CHOKE in this damn book. also if you dislike deku then this story will change. you.
completed: neh~
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Muted by HecateSG (other socials; not listed)
au: canon
summary: “A collection of short one-shot stories where the reader has lost the ability to speak due to an incident that ranges from accident, to intentional, which now leaves you in the care of at least one of this dashing and intrepid cast of characters. There will be a variety of scenario’s explored and kinks touched upon for all you curious depraved little ones. ~ The only thing these all have in common is that the Reader will remain almost exclusively quiet the entire time ~ The tags will be updated as more chapters are released.”
my thoughts: this is a one-shot book (no cohesive storyline unless chosen) but its so good. so good. i thought shigaraki, dabi and all might in one book was interesting but never the less, super good! i never was interested in the mute concept but its written good? (but thinking about it all the other mute!reader fics are good but they wont nsfw so it didnt interest me-) furthermore, its so good. so pure. so hot. 11/10 would recommend.
completed: neh~
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Nightclub AU by sour_pink29 (tumblr; @heros-amoung-us)
au: well… nightclub
summary: “U.A. is the most prestigious and well known nightclub in the world. It takes a high price and a creditable reputation to attend the club, but only because it makes your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. The workers are the best of the best: the 1A class; with the sexiest dancers, flirtatious waitresses and waiters, master bartenders, and high class security. It’s truly no wonder why the rich and famous travel from all corners of the world to have one special night at U.A. ~ As a waitress at the club, you were used to dealing with rich, handsome, high maintenance bachelors. But when 6 mysterious men enter the club and your life, you feel something different spark between you and them as they turn your life on it’s head. For better or for worse… ~ AU where you and the 1A class (and some other characters) are workers at the club. Kaminari, Kirishima, Katsuki, Shoto, Tetsu, Izuku, and Sero are all competing for your attention. ~ WILL INCLUDE NSFW IN SOME CHAPTERS ;)”
my thoughts: THGIS BOOK FUCKIN SLAPS. HANDS DOWN WOULD TOOT MY ASS UP FOR THIS! (thought about dropping my studies and just fucking doing stripper work-) like wow… its a good book and the writer was prob one of the first wirters i followed on here?! (thats if tumblr didnt fucking remove my damn following like it usually does. ._.) enough about that, its really good. i think about it often.
completed: neh~
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Plus Ultra! One-shots and Requests by MistressPikachu (FinalVolition) [tumblr; @adelheidvonschicksal]
au: varies
summary: “A place to store all my smaller drabbles for BNHA. NSFW and SFW requests CLOSED!”
my thoughts: um so she write for *everything* but not like everything, everything. so sometimes it be like a red flag so make sure you are reading it carefully on the story you click on! personally, since theyre a good asf writer i usually dip my toe in all of them but sometimes i just cant but the ones i can, i read over and over and over again. worth a million reads tbh. 12/10 would recommend if youre nasty like that (and i KNOW you guys are).
completed: neh~
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slutty one shots by cherrykwrites (tumblr; @cherrykwrites)
au: varies
summary: “Collection of some slutty short scenarios. Mostly Bakugo, could include other characters too. ~ Everything will be NSFW in this collection. ~ Themes like non con, underage, alcohol, bdsm, daddy kinks, ect could occur in these writings. ~ These are purely works of fiction and do not reflect reality, I do NOT condone any of the immoral actions written in these.”
my thoughts: so of course i could not leave the og, the real home slice, cherry-mother-k-fuckin-writes- CAN WE CLAP FOR THE QUEEN? so essentially, her shit is good asf. you should read it cause its good asf. shes not around that much but she def is really good! (also has my thinking about writing some tattoo artist!bakugo these days, or even a series for my husbandos…). never thought about sandwhiched between kirishima and bakugo until i came across her fics~
completed: neh~
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Euphoria - NSFW Series by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)
au: varies
summary: “Just a bunch of BNHA characters involved in several different kinks with you. ~ Summary of first chapter: ~ “Katsuki…”That mewl you made was hard to hear but somehow it reached Midoriya’s ears and he gulped as he saw said man standing up from the ground in front of you. A smirk as wide as it can be with his tongue brushing the corners of his mouth as if he just finished eating the best meal of his life.————————- Basically, Midoriya is in for a emotional ride lol”
my thoughts: they are such a good writer. another one-shots book but they will appear once again on the list but this book is just beautiful. and im a perv. so. have fun.
comepleted: neh~
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⚠️okay so this is a series of fics from one writer, but instead of making a shit ton on the list (because if this isnt long already) its by the user QuillMind (tumblr; @quillmind) here are some of my faves:⚠️
Incendiary ~ a/b/o, “Mating season has come yet again. Bakugou has even more trouble controlling it than in previous years… and it’s all your fault.”
Mating Hunt ~ a/b/o, “You and Bakugou have been together for some time. Though you both know you only want each other, your bond won’t truly be permanent and known to all until he claims you during mating season. And as impatient as Bakugou is, as an Alpha, he loves a good chase. You decide to give him one.”
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Story Time - A Reader x BNHA Multific by WhenSarahSmiles (tumblr; @makethiscanon)
au: fairytale/storybook/canon-ish
summary: “Whilst fighting a powerful villain, you find yourself sucked into the world their quirk created with no memories of your old life. Yet, the men you meet along the way have a familiar feel to them. Perhaps they can help you unlock your memories? ~ A Hero Academia/Fairy Tale mash up, there’s plenty of chaos to follow even if you think you know the classic stories well. ~ [Warning: Explicit Content from chapter 3 onwards] ~ [I will warn you which chapter features the non-con]] ~ “
-> Story one: Little Red Riding Hood (Katsuki Bakugou x Reader)-> Story two: The Little Mermaid (Shouto Todoroki x Reader)-> Story three: Jack and the Beanstalk (Eijirou Kirishima x Reader)-> Story four: The Three Little Pigs (Denki Kaminari x Reader)-> Story five: Sleeping Beauty (Shouto Todoroki x Reader x Katsuki Bakugou)-> Story six: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Midoriya, Tokoyami, Sero, Monoma, Ojiro, Shinsou x Reader)
my thoughts: bitch i have no thoughts. i only have THOTS. this is a masterpiece, like ive been lacking, the one im on rn is the kirishima one and it worth the read, and i bet the ones after that have been just as amazing! amazing work 11/10 would recommend.
completed: neh~
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Wolves Among Us (Mini Series) by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)
au: fantasy
summary: “Something about watching him lick your chilled skin was stirring something within you. Your legs started to shiver, but not of the cold that surrounded your slightly exposed body but of a feeling blossoming in the inner regions of your lower stomach. You were getting lost in the rhythm of his pants, wandering in the hazy want of his intense eyes. Your breath began to tremble, and you tried to squeeze your legs together to withstand the odd sensation growing, but he held your leg still and showed no signs of letting go. You were suddenly aware of his hand on your lower thigh, and you noticed that it was the first time a man’s hand had touched there. ~ You were a flower that had yet to bloom in the late of spring. Pure, untouched and suddenly, bombarded with desires. You never shivered in the way a man could make you, and curiosity—maybe naivety, was keeping you from your fear of the beast. —————– Basically, you fall in love with a rude wolf man. ~ Mini series!! Werewolf!Bakugo x Human!Reader, Fantasy AU ~ Inspired by The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter”
my thoughts: i ride this books ASS for updates. my favourite bakugo au’s are fantasy (wit da dragoons) and were!katsuki (haluween). i fucking love it, i love their works. theyre busy with school (like i should be but scholars are all different-) trust me its so good. it has that good spice that make fill my heart with sexy uwuwuwuwuwuwuwus. love it.
completed: neh~
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Katsuki Bakugo Scenario Collection by Hvalross (tumblr; @cutesuki–bakugou)
au: varies
summary: “A collection of oneshots and scenarios I’ve done for Bakugou, both personal works and requests on my blog Cutesuki-Bakugou. ~ Please note that the rating of each story will be in the notes of the chapter. Stories range from TEEN to EXPLICIT.”
my thoughts: oh my god. i reread this one chap over and over and over and over and over and over- and over again. the stories range from cute to just good smut and its so good. so beautifully written. and i cant help but just appreciate it. love it sm. (also sorry if i tagged the wrong tumblr im confsued as to which one you use ahaha)
completed: neh~
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Wish the World Away by hoshigalaxy (other socials; not listed)
au: canon
summary: “bakugou katsuki is the number one hero. but with this title comes a huge target on his back. sometimes it’s better to stay single when you’re a pro hero. there could be accidents. ~ but that’s three years in the past now and bakugou is slowly moving on from what’s happened. that is until he runs into his mysterious new neighbour and things get complicated again.”
my thoughts: ;-; this one hits different. almost like a million reasons type of different. i dont want to spoil it but godt damn man. there is so much to be uncovered but it really hasnt been updated. (cri) its a beautiful book tho. fingers crossed for when it updates next.
completed: neh :
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Up in Smoke. (Soulmate AU) by Grapelimeade (tumblr; @gojirabbit)
au: well,, soulmate
summary: “Bakugou doesn’t want a fucking soulmate.”
my thoughts: may i say…it is such a stark contrast to Million Reasons. it is so fucking captivating i will not shit you. this book, is amazing. im just saying, that midoriya scene tho,, 👀 that kirishima friendship,, 💪🏽 its so good…? got me panting for the next chap (and no not like that weirdos but there is nsfw because when tf do you catch me reading a fic without nsfw…?) but i recommend. mc: million reasons tho me: up in smoke tho-
completed: neh~
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Vermilion by Morgana_Ren (tumblr; @morgana-ren)
au: canon
summary: “Tomura Shigaraki had a goal. It started out simple enough. Kill All Might, and watch the society that revered heroes above all else crumble to dust alongside their idol. However, what originally starts off as a chance encounter with a UA student during the battle of USJ sends him reeling down the crooked path of obsession.”
my thoughts: its just…? my shigaraki thirst was sparked from this very story. it good, supplies my shifty hands needs and it suffices the boiling lust in my clit. wish we’d see more cause i love it already and it blends the story line well. love it. 11/10
completed: neh~
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words hurt [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader] by QueenExplosionMurder (tumblr; @strawberryandspiceandchocolate)
au: canon
summary: “*more tags to be added* ~ when Bakugo Katsuki friendzones the reader, their friendship takes a nose dive off of the face of the earth and he doesn’t hear from her for a while. that is until she is suddenly thrown back into his life, quite literally actually…”
my thoughts: well you think i can go a post without tagging my president? youre fucking wrong. i have actually posted my own prev of her book which you can find here. i am just astonished at well the mood is (because tb when all i would talk about is mood) because mood is just good. it doesnt seem cliche to me. cant wait until the next update.
completed: neh~
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You and Yamada by Jo_Rutherford_Lee (other socials; not listed)
au: varies
summary: “Just a few short Present Mic/Reader PWPs I needed to get out of my head.”
my thoughts:
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i love this book. couldnt find the yamada book i was looking for but i would be lying if this doesnt revive my yamada love every once in awhile. (jk i found the book but this one is really cute and a quick read!!)
completed: yis
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Singed Rose Petals: (Alpha) Dabi x (Omega) Reader by Smutsy (other socials; not listed)
au: a/b/o
summary: ““The villains were always ugly in books and movies. Necessarily so, it seemed. Because if they were attractive - if their looks matched their charm and their cunning - they wouldn’t only be dangerous. They would be irresistible.” - Nenia Campbell”
my thoughts: ohhhh because you guys thought that i’d go through a post without mentioning dabi? LOL so,, this book has brought many many many happy coochie tingles to me. i would murder to be dabi’s omega. and DAS on baby. never was really interested in a/b/o stuff till i read this. love it so much 11/10.
completed: yis
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special mentions:
BNHA Brothel by orphan_account [multiple, unfinished]
Hero Killer’s Charge by VulcanCaptain [stain x reader, unfinished]
Mouth Moods by Koalolive (twitter; renlup) [present mic, unfinished]
and god please dont fucking roast me i had a hawks faze. Birb Office for Birbs by insanityrunsinthe_family
453 notes · View notes
hu4ngs · 4 years
Note
anything for yuta please! he is so hot in the latest comeback i cRI
im having a break currently and BOY im so happy to write for you!!! +++ i’d like to take this opportunity to ask you all to stay safe and healthy!
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yall know what’s gonna happen. yes you’ve guessed it right i’m doing a strangers to lovers au
so let’s assume you look like your twin bc well…. you’re twins
BUT your twin is the popular twin, and you’re mediocre. AND you two go to separate schools
you’re going to an all-girls’ science school because your life is already hectic you don’t wanna make it anymore hectic with men
your sister goes to a nearby art school. so you know what that means; f r a t  b o y s.
also you’ve been knew that your sister is a bit of a player herself
like you’ve had boys coming to your house, crying, begging for your sister to take him back
nonetheless, though, you still love each other and depend on each other a lot
like, whenever you feel like getting a boyfriend, she’d help you out (even though your relationship ends up in flames about 3 months later because the boys you dated are all fratboys that couldn’t appreciate you enough). and in return you’d help her a lot with getting ready for dates or with her studies
so one day
you were in your school, watching a bunch of girls do a practice match of volleyball with another school because you were bored
then you got a text from your sister saying that she needed help and that it was a level-10 threat
i mean,,,, LEVEL 10? that has to be serious
so you dashed tf out of your school
by a few minutes, you’d arrived to your school
your first instinct was to go to her classroom
so you did
and then you saw a bunch of men hogging around your sister’s desk
so you were like?? wtf is going on
“what are you guys doi-”
before you could even finish your sentence, one of them yelled, “there she is!”
and another yelled, “get her!”
you were freaked??? first of all, you actually put in efforts in how you look today, you’re not about to let some crazy men ruin it for you
so you ran for your life
as you were running you wonder what your sister had done for these men to decide to kill her
thanks to your teacher for forcing you to join tons of cross-country runs, you managed to get away from them
you ran into a room and in the midst of panic you knocked onto something, and it all fell apart
you cupped your mouth
from what you can see, you probably knocked over some arts student’s sculpture
there wasn’t anyone, though, so you started looking around to hide before any art student walks in
as you were running towards what looked like a storage room, someone stepped out
he had blonde hair, and was just crazily handsome
but that wasn’t the point
he saw you, and then looked over behind you
“what the- hey! did you do that?” he asked
you weren’t sure if he was angry, or if that’s just his normal face, but eitherway he was really handsome
you looked behind you to the broken sculpture again,  and shrugged hesitantly
“may…..be…..?” your voice squeaked at the end
he gave you a look, before walking past you, “if you haven’t noticed i had been working on this for a very long time, asshole.”
his intonation wasn’t angry, but it still left a sting when he said that
you felt guilty
“i’m sor-”
“oh shut it, yuna, save that sorry for my friends that you’ve fucked.” he scoffed as he started cleaning up your mess
you were confused for a second, before everything clicked
he must’ve mistook you for your sister
you laughed awkwardly
“um, i’m y/n, not yuna” you said
he stopped sweeping, and then shot you a confused glance
“since when did you have a whole identity change?” he asked sarcastically again
you’re usually annoyed when people gave you an attitude, but you weren’t this time. maybe because you deserved it……?
“oh no, yuna is yuna. i’m her twin!” you smiled.
he stopped again, and looked at you
he clicked his tongue, and then stared at you from your head to your toe
“well…. you do have a better fashion sense than your sister.” he said
you didn’t know why, but you felt supeeeeeer happy when he said that
“i didn’t know yuna had a twin?”
“oh i go to the all-girls’ school a few miles away from here.” you told him
by now, he was done cleaning up the mess and was working on another sculpture
you wonder why he wasn’t SO mad at the fact that you literally broke a what seemed like months of hardwork
you walked over to the blonde, but he didn’t give you any reaction
“why aren’t you throwing a tantrum that i broke your masterpiece?” you asked
he gave you a glance before going back to his new sculpture
he shrugged, “i felt like it was ugly anyways.” he casually said
you nodded, and then just watched him work on his clay in silence
“so why are you here?” he asked, breaking the silence
you chuckled, “some boys are chasing my sister. i guess this is what she meant when she was having a level-10 threat.”
the guy chuckled too
“aren’t you gonna help your sister?” he asked
you shook your head, “she can handle this on her own. i’m sure her new jock boyfriend will help her out.”
“oh yea, i’m sure johnny will. everyone’s scared of him” he agrees
“you’re not so bad, y/n. i’m yuta.” he held out his hand - that had so many clay on it
it seems like he knew exactly what he was doing as he gave you a smirk to see if you were gonna shake hands or not
you took this as a friendship test - or something - so you took his hand
he made a playful look of disgust, “ew, can’t believe you took my hand like that.” he laughed
you’re pretty sure that was the first time that you saw him properly smile, and he had a really pretty smile too.
“your smile is so pretty….. i wish mine was like yours. when i smile i look like a goat.” you said as you simultaneously rested your face onto your clay-ed hand
“oh GOD!” you yelled, and made yuta laugh
“dumbass!” he claimed happily, before wiping a finger onto your nose
“HEY!” you yelled, and wiped some onto his face
yuta didn’t flinch, instead he was simply laughing
after a moment of laughter, he sighed softly, and then looked at you
“just between the two of us, you’re the better twin, y/n” he confessed, and  you giggled
he smiled again, and went on with his work
“how do i get these off my face by the way?”
he chuckled again, “you can’t” he joked
but your dumbass, who has never had experience with arts, believed him
so you were panicking
“what the- um… shouldn’t we get these off our faces?” you asked, nudging him
he shook his head, “i like it on mine. it’s a concept of van gogh’s.”
your heart was really gonna sink in your stomach, he didn’t have as much clay on his face as you did!
“that’s nice, but we should get it off our faces”
you said, nudging him even more
then, he burst out laughing again.
“you’re so funny” he told you
“you can’t be this clueless. of course the clay can be removed. just wash it with water later, idiot” he said, and shook his head
“oh” you said, a little bit embarrassed
then, you got a call
you fished your phone out just to see your sister calling
you signaled yuta to be quiet and he nodded
yuta didn’t have to hear your sister’s voice to know that she was furious at you
“wow! thank god, right? hope you don’t break his heart too.” you said sarcastically
yuta laughed at your snarky attitude
“yes i’m at your school, but a bunch of boys started chasing me thinking i was you.” you explained
“you know what? don’t come home if you’re gonna stay angry!”
you ended the call and turned back to yuta
“well, she’s mad.” you told him, and he nodded
“i love her and all, but she’s the most annoying, irritating, picky, selfish person ever when she’s mad.” you scoffed
“you can always sleep in the streets tonight” he joked
you gave him a look, and he looked away, still thinking it was a decent joke
“just lock her out,” he suggested
“i can’t, she has a spare key.”
“that’s tragic”
you nodded in agreement
“you can come over to my house if you’re comfortable enough” he winked when you looked at him
“but i bet you won’t do it, you look like you don’t have the balls to stay a night with a boy” he shrugged casually as he kept his eyes onto his sculpture
“bet.” you said, and he genuinely looked shocked
“what the hell, are- are you serious?” he stammered, which you found funny
“i mean, sure, why not?”
“aren’t you worried that i might be a serial killer?” he asked
you shrugged as you leaned onto the table in front of him
“so you’re my own version of joe goldberg? sign me up” you joked
he laughed, “you’re brave”
you let out a peace sign as a respond
“we should order in some pizzas tonight then, my treat!” he happily exclaimed
you had been staring at his face for so long - since you first met him
and you can’t help but call him handsome in your mind each time too
you weren’t really that much of a believer in love at first sight but come on, now. yuta has the looks, the talents, the personality, the respect, the humour. and to top all of that he’s got a bit of an attitude. he was screaming boyfriend material into your ears at this point
when he realised you weren’t giving out a response to a pizza night, he froze
“are you on a- um- are you on a diet? do you wanna eat something with low calories instead or-”
taken aback you immediately refuse, “oh my god, no, no! pizza is fine for tonight.” you told him
he let out a sigh of relief
“my ex used to freak out whenever i pick something to eat and it’s not up to her standards, sorry.” he explained
you rolled your eyes at the thought, “that’s plain annoying.”
he nodded in agreement, “it’s a different story if she had something to eat in mind, but no. she lets me decide and then throws a tantrum when i suggest something simple, or some shit like that.” he grunted
you chuckled seeing him annoyed
“hey, what time is it, by the way?” he asked
you opened your phone, and showed it to him, it read 7:48 PM.
“you wanna get going? talking about food is making me hungry.” he explained
you nodded, “me too.”
he started cleaning up his desk, and you helped him out
afterwards, the two of you went to wash the clay out of your hands and faces, yuta not forgetting to splash some water onto you while you were at it
the campus was dark and half-empty by then, some students were giving you looks for splashing water at each other, and you had to admit it was a bit embarrassing
“my house is kinda close to the campus, do you wanna walk or do you wanna take the bus?” he asked
you took a while to think, “since we’re gonna get fat tonight, let’s do some exercise beforehand.” you suggested, and he was fine with it
so you two started walking together
it all felt ethereal to you
the weather was great, it was windy in the right ways, the sky still had a hint of purple and pink to it
you had asked yuta a question that had probably excite yuta, because he was talking with full enthusiasts, and you were enjoying yourself seeing him so passionate about something
then, he absentmindedly swung an arm around your shoulder
and you’re just there like ‘OwO’
but you didn’t want to ruin the moment since he was still talking so passionately
so you acted like you didn’t notice it and carried on with the conversation
plus, you were lowkey (or highkey) enjoying his warmth. he’s a very warm person >:(
then, you two reached his apartment, which looked really nice
when you entered his apartment, it was a bit messy, but it was still pretty
you came to a conclusion yuta was a man of STYLE!!!!
“sorry if my place doesn’t live up to your expectations” he said, but you immediately disagree
“this is a really nice place!” you assured
he kinda gave off a playful look before sitting next to you on the sofa, “so if i were to bring you here on a date, would you like it?” he asked
you were taken aback by the question, but that doesn’t mean a smile wasn’t going to form onto your face
you immediately looked away, still having a hard time removing the grin off of your face
“i don’t know, you haven’t asked me on a date to your house yet.” you told him
he laughed, before poking his head onto your shoulder to see your reaction, “so you want me to ask you out on a lazy date?” he asked
you pushed him away, completely embarrassed, “bro like, shut the fuck up” you said playfully, which made yuta burst out laughing
“your reactions to everything are just so cute.” he told you before softly letting a sigh out
“thanks, we’ve been knew that i’m cute.” you joked
yuta made a disgusted face jokingly too, which made you laugh out of embarrassment
both of you took a really long time to finish off your meals becuase both of you were busy criticizing the shitty netflix series that you were watching
by the time both of you were tired, it was already 4 in the morning
neither you nor yuta could believe that both of you had been talking for that long
but it was undeniable that both of you were enjoying each other’s companies so much
at this point you were ready to propose to this man
but OBVIOUSLY you didn’t wtf
also, by now, you were both cuddled up by the sofa while tall girl was playing on the tv
“do you wanna watch another movie after this?” he asked, you nodded absentmindedly even though you were falling asleep
“how are we gonna get to school tomorrow?” you mumbled groggily
yuta was silent for a while and then he said, “let’s just skip tomorrow!” he suggested
you were falling asleep, yes, but the thought of skipping school excites you
you didn’t always skip school, but you wouldn’t turn down an opportunity either
“that’d be great,” you told him, before laying your head back onto his shoulder
“you know what, y/n?” he asked, you hummed as a response
“let’s go out on a date tomorrow.” he whispered, and then lied his head onto yours
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fearfulkittenwrites · 4 years
Text
“Traitor! My cookies!”
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Inspired by @tiny-italian-danger-noodle​ (Link to the amazing post: https://tiny-italian-danger-noodle.tumblr.com/post/624948123561852928/im-sorry-but-i-just-love-the-idea-of-the-rest-of )
Word count: 2261
Notes: Heyy! Quick heads up: I changed some things from the original post. Idk, it just made sense in my head to write it like this. Also, yes, I did made a point in fitting in the batman bingo, because I have a card to fill and it was perfect, so don't yell at me :( I hope you enjoy it! <3
It’s not like there was any kind of conscious effort in it. And yet, Dick was slowly becoming the closest thing the batfamily had to a mom. He hated it, but someone had to tell Damian to not kill his brothers. Or tell Tim to go to bed after 48 hours up. Or tell Jason not to shoot firearms inside the house. Or tell Steph to not prank elderly people (It doesn’t matter that they are homophic Steph, you can’t do that, they’re 80). And if no one else would do it, then, well, he would.
It started after the cookie episode.
Alfred had baked them after Damian requested it. He had been craving those for months, and finally decided to ask for them. But Jason came home before he did, and ended up eating most of them, leaving the smallest two for the boy. Once the kid got home from school and saw what happened, he was fuming.
“Devilspawn, what are you doing in my room?” Jason asked, laying on the bed, face buried in a book.
“You. Ate. My. Cookies.” He said, katana in his hands.
“Okay, and?” Jason answered “I left you some. And I eat stuff from everyone in the house, so that really shouldn’t- You have your sword. Oh my God, why do you have your sword?” He jumped to his feet after the realization, trying to run.
“You will pay!” Damian raised his katana, charging towards his brother.
“Fuck!” Jason yelled, climbing on the bed, trying to get away from the boy.
“I have been waiting for those cookies for ages!” Damian sliced through the air, aiming for the other’s feet. Jason fell from the bed trying to evade the move and ran through the bedroom door.
“Help!” He yelled, running down the halls “Dick, help! Damian wants to kill me! Again!”
“Traitor!” Damian screeched behind him, tiny footsteps growing louder and louder as he approached Jason “My cookies!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” He ran down the stairs, going to the entrance hall “Dick, please! He’s getting closer!”
Damian skipped steps behind him.
“You coward!” He brandished his sword “Face me like a man!”
As they went into the dining room, Damian felt a sudden pull at his uniform’s collar. Dick held him there, as if he was a kitten, and pointed at Jason.
“Don’t move.”
“Okay.” Jason said, backed up against the wall.
“Unhand me Grayson!” He complained, trying to twist himself free “He deserves punishment for his crimes!”
“Give me the katana.” Dick took the weapon from his brother’s hands “Damian, the no kill rule does extend to siblings. Please keep that in mind.”
“I wasn’t going to kill him.” Damian pouted, angry “I was simply going to mutilate or maim. If he died, that would be on him.”
“We don’t mutilate or maim each other in this house, okay?” Dick said, finaly letting go of the kid “Don’t make me repeat that.”
“Fine.”
“And you,” He turned to Jason, crossing his arms “Why did you eat all of his cookies?”
“I left him some.” He mumbled.
“Doesn’t matter.” Dick answered, hardened expression “You should’ve waited for him to get home, and you know it.”
“Yeah, okay.” He scratched his head.
“Now, apologize to each other.”
Both of them looked horrified at the idea. Dick sighed.
“Apologize. Now.” They didn’t budge “Or you’re both banned from patrol for a week.”
“You can’t do that.” Jason said “Can he?” He asked Damian, in a quieter voice. The kid shrugged.
“Don’t test me.” Dick answered.
“Fine.” Jason rolled his eyes “I’m sorry for eating all your cookies.”
“And I’m sorry for trying to mutilate you because of it.”
“Great. Now hug it out.”
“I’m not...”
“You must be...”
“Now!” He stomped his foot, and both of them grumpily hugged each other, clearly uncomfortable way “See? Was that so hard?”
“Yes.” Both of them answered.
“Then think about that before you do some stupid shit again.” Dick answered, leaving the room.
Tim, who was out of sight but within earshot, raised an eyebrow at the scene.
The next week, he knocked on the door of Dick’s room, covered in glue, feathers and glitter.
“He- Woah!” Dick said as he opened the door, finding a very unamused Tim on the other side “Okay, you’re not getting in here like that. What happened?”
“Steph happened.” Tim answered, flat toned and tired.
“I love how that explains so much and so little at the same time.” He sighed, supporting an arm on the door frame “What did she do?”
“Glue bucket on my door. Tripwire, then a bunch of feathers. And finally, a glitter bomb by my bathroom door.”
“Oh God.” He covered his mouth with a hand “Why?”
“Prank war. She took it a little too seriously.”
Dick rested his head on his forearm.
“Steph!” He yelled out “Come here!”
They heard footsteps, and the blonde girl emerged, laughing.
“Oh, man!” She said “This is the best one yet.”
“Steph, why would you do that?” He asked.
“Oh, so he can hack into my computers and change the names of all my files and I can’t play a little physical prank? I sent my teacher a very rude meme because of that. Almost got expelled.” She crossed her arms. Tim snickered.
“What?” Dick asked “Why?”
“Prank war.” Tim shrugged.
“Okay, you know what? No more prank wars until you two learn how to behave.” Dick said and pointed at Steph “You are cleaning all the mess you made in his bedroom. And you,” He pointed at Tim, and twisted his nose “Well, you are going to take a shower, and then you’re going to change back all that you messed with on her computer. And,” He kept going “Both of you are cleaning the batmobile after patrol for a week.”
“What? That’s not fair!” Steph complained.
“You’re right.” Dick said, scratching his chin “Okay then, Steph is cleaning the batmobile for a week and Tim can’t use the batcave before sunset and after three a.m. for a week.”
“What?!” Tim screamed “What do you expect me to do all day then?”
“Learn how to function in a healthy way? Anyways, complain too much, I’ll make it a month.” Dick answered.
“You can’t do that!” Steph complained “You’re not Batman.”
“Try me.” Dick squinted.
“Fine!” She threw her hands up, leaving “I’ll clean the stupid room and the stupid car.”
“Traitor.” Tim hissed, walking away.
Then three weeks after that, Batman came up to him in patrol, and, on top of a building, said:
“I need your assistance.”
“Sure. Who are we up against now?” Nightwing asked.
“Not... That kind of assistance.” Batman looked down “Your brothers keep talking in a weird way. I don’t understand the colloquialisms in their language, and I’m almost sure they are mocking me.”
Dick blinked a little under the mask.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I need you to stop them from doing that while we’re on patrol.”
“B, can’t you... I don’t know, you are their dad, not me!” He pointed out.
“But you are the one who gets them under control.” He shot back. They stared at each other “Please. Just while they are wearing the mask.” Dick sighed.
“Fine. I’ll talk to them.”
Later on, when they got back from patrol, Dick felt a little ridiculous having to explain to a bunch of masked heroes that they have to stop communicating in memes and insulting Batman when on patrol. And why it wasn’t okay even if it was to his face, Steph. Damian, of course, was let off the hook on that one. He had just recently grasped the concept of a meme, having declared on multiple ocasions that they were a stupid waste of internet data. Tim was personally offended by all of those declarations.
It didn’t take long for Dick to start correcting the family’s unhealthy habits after that. He had given Cass a “required socialization day”, to be performed at least once a month, Damian had mandatory off patrol days every two weeks, he dragged Bruce to bed every other night, and regulated Tim’s caffeine intake.
Duke was the best enforcer of his rules in the house. Not because he was brutal or particularly persuasive, but because he could instill guilt into the members of the family.
“Hey, Bruce, didn’t Dick tell you to go upstairs and grab lunch?” He asked, going down to the cave to practice. The man grunted as he set down his gym bag “Okay then. I just don’t know how you’ll deal with his broken heart when he sees you haven’t been taking care of yourself like you said you would. I mean, how can you even break a promise you’ve made to that guy? He worries so much about us, it’s-”
“Okay!” He exclaimed, getting up “Okay, I’ll go get lunch.”
Whenever Tim went to get a cup of coffee after seven p.m., Duke would stare at him until he poured the liquid in the sink. He could convince Jason to give up on any idea by saying ‘But what would Dick say?’, or ‘That would break your brother’s heart you know?’.
Duke’s proudest moment was the one time he managed to build up the courage to do it with Cass.
Dick had been telling her for weeks that she needed to rest. That training so much everyday is bad for her health. That she should try having fun in different ways. The man had been (and still kind of is) on a quest to find her a non-lethal hobby. But when Duke went down to the cave once, to fetch his forgotten water bottle, he found her training, and figured out why Dick had a frow on his face earlier.
“You know,” He started, testing the waters “Training so much can strain your muscles.” Cass shot him a look, but didn’t say anything “I’m just saying,” He put his hands up “Maybe you should listen to Dick. I mean, he’s usually not wrong about these things. And he’s been doing it for longer than we have.”
“What do you want?” She asked, annoyed.
“Me?” He placed his hands on his chest “I don’t want anything. I just think you have been working too hard. You deserve a break.”
“I don’t want a break.”
“Well, maybe you should take a break anyways. It would make Dick so happy.” She stared at him, and Duke kept going “You know, he was very upset earlier. Seeing that you have taken his advice would make him smile so much. He really cares about you, y’know? Sometimes, I think we all take him for granted, not realizing how much of his time he spends trying to-”
“Shut up.” Cass said, pushing him aside to climb up the stairs “I’ll take the break.”
Duke smiled to himself. Dick would most likely ask him how did he do it later. He’d smile and say ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t do anything’.
And he rarely ever got into trouble. Considering that the other five had set multiple rooms on fire, broken several pieces of expensive furniture and ruined the house’s plumbing system many times in the past, there wasn’t much Duke could do to be considered trouble. Dick would vent to him about the others and always asked him to report on their behaviours whenever he had to be away for too long.
Damian envied that. He could give much more detailed reports of incidents than Thomas could, and he was ready to die on that hill. Dick mentioned multiple times that this just wasn’t the point, and that if he could go at least a month without threatening to kill one member of the family then he’d consider asking for Damian’s help.
Damian would then argue that he wouldn’t threaten anyone if they weren’t such useless piles of meat with no functioning braincels and irritatingly deficient fighting skills, and Dick would take away his cellphone for the day.
But the moment they realized how much power he actually had was when Alfred started using him as a threat.
“Master Damian, please stop sharpening your sword in the living room. I’m sure you can do this down at the cave.”
“I’m asserting my dominance, Pennyworth.” Damian replied “Drake can hear this from the kitchen and therefore knows better than to continue his attacks.”
Alfred frowned.
“Master Damian, I’m certain there is a better way to handle the situation. I trust you can find that out by yourself, or should I ask for master Dick’s assistance?”
They got caught up in a staring match for a while. And then, the boy silently got up, and went to the cave. Alfred smiled to himself, before moving on to the kitchen.
“Master Timothy, I do believe you have been told not to tease your younger brother in the past.” Tim raised an eyebrow “If you insist on these antics, I will call master Dick.”
“I- um...” The teen started “Okay.”
Alfred nodded, and turned to Bruce, who was entering the kitchen.
“Ah, master Bruce. Will you be joining us for dinner tonight, or should I ask master Dick to call for you?”
Bruce froze and looked at Tim. The kid made a face.
“I will be joining you.” He answered, hesitant.
“How delightful.” The butler said, making his way out.
“Wha... What just happened?” Bruce asked.
“Alfred knows.” Tim said “We’re fucked.”
“Language.”
“Oh, leave me alone.” He shot back, sipping a freshly made cup of coffee “You’re not Dick.”
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barrendome · 4 years
Text
the 2b2t survival guide
are you planning to play on 2b2t? have you been playing but can’t seem to get out of spawn? or have you been waiting 12 hours in queue to no avail?
in that case, have i got some stuff for you! heres a handy guide about how to actually play, and some tips to help along the way!
step one: preparing
you can just hop right in and go, but it is smart to know a bit beforehand.
know what you're getting into. the server has no rules to it, so you just have to expect a fuckton of disgusting shit, slurs, etc. just kinda accept that, and ignore it.
get a hacked client. sure, you can play on vanilla, but doing that will make your life harder. the best client to use is impact, but if you really need to you can download wurst instead.
make a plan. although this is optional, its smart to do. you can just wing it if you wanna, but it’s helpful to have a goal for what you wanna do in the server.
step two: queue
queue is basically inevitable, but there are a few things you can do to make the wait less painful!
decide if you want priority. priority queue is a godsend, it takes 30 min at MOST to join the server! but on the other hand, its 20 dollars per month. if you’re planning on playing for a long time and dedicating lots of time to playing? get priority. if you just wanna check the server out? don’t worry about buying it.
join when nobody else would. the best times i’ve found are near 1-3am, or on a weekday in early mornings. you’ll still have to wait hours, but not as long as you would otherwise.
pray for a server restart. when it restarts, turn on auto-reconnect (if you have that) or just keep on trying to connect. you’ll get onto the server extremely quick if you’re able to join right after a restart.
do something else. multitasking is the best way to wait. leave queue running in the background and check on it whenever you can, but fill your time with other stuff. i usually draw or watch videos when waiting!
step three: common sense
you gotta use normal common sense, but also server-unique common sense.
remember: there are no rules. people are going to kill you. people are going to grief you. people are going to say gross shit. the worst kinds of people are here on the server, you have to accept that.
what you build is gonna go. no matter how nice it looks, how far out it is, how tiny it is, whatever. its how 2b2t works. when you build, you have to remember that its going to get destroyed one day.
you aren’t safe. no matter how far away you are, or how nice that one person is. don’t get lulled into feeling secure, stay on edge. better safe than sorry.
enderchests are your friend. you’re definitely gonna die, several times, so keep any important things in your enderchest. for more space, put everything into shulker boxes and store the boxes in your enderchest. this is why silk touch pickaxes are something you’ll need: because your enderchest is the only safe place for your items.
signs are the best communication. carry a sign with you, and read all the signs you find. its not important, but its fun to read what people write, and its nice to make your own mark on the world with just a simple sign.
don’t trust anyone. or at least, be cautious of everyone. if you run into someone, expect deaths, and be cautious even if they give you stuff.
you aren’t special. oh, so you watched a bunch of fit videos and know everything about the server? no you don’t, shut up. you’re gonna spam things in chat and grief a bunch of builds to become a notable player? you’re gonna become a minor annoyance, shut up. you read this guide and now know how to become the best 2b2t player ever? my guide is shit, shut up.
everyone hates new players. don’t openly say you’re new. just stick to yourself for the first while of joining.
step four: chat
so you’ve joined, and you connect to see.. the constant spam of chat.
hide the chat. go into settings, and turn chat off. usually chat isn’t worth looking at, except for warning about server restarts. if you wanna keep chat on, just turn down the opacity.
use /ignore. theres bots constantly flooding the chat, so if you wanna keep chat on, spend time quickly ignoring all the bots.
don’t ask for help. you do not wanna let everybody know you’re new, and if you don’t get ignored, people will send gross shit or fake help instead.
if you have a question, ask google. like the point above, asking for help isn’t a good option. search stuff up on google or the 2b2t subreddit before asking chat. and try not to ask obvious questions either.
don’t get into arguments. don’t rile people up or argue, its kinda risky, and again some bad shit will get sent your way. its really not worth it. if you get angry at some gross shit people are saying, just /ignore them, because fighting them will make you just a laughing stock.
step five: escaping spawn
i know what you’re thinking, “tumblr user barrendome! stop rambling and just tell me how to actually PLAY now!”, and yeah yeah, okay, i will.
turn your hacks on. what i’d suggest is turning on storage esp, player esp/tracers, search (search for blocks like melons, crops, wood, etc), and things like that. also keep xray and freecam ready, and make sure you set keybinds for those.
collect, store, die, repeat. i never did this, but my boyfriend did, and it worked incredibly well. he would collect as many resources as he could, store them in an enderchest whenever he saw one, and then either die of hunger or something else. he’d repeat this process until he had enough stuff in his enderchest to get him out of spawn.
save your hunger bar. try not to run, and try not to jump. its hard, but its important. most deaths are from hunger in the first while of playing, so just try not to get hungry. for this exact reason, the main thing you’re looking for is food.
don’t go into the nether right away. spawn nether is impossible to get out of, so travel on the overworld for about 2000 blocks, and then its safe(ish) to go into the nether.
20000 blocks is the safer zone, but its still spawn territory. outside of 50000 blocks is when id consider making a base if you really need to, but try to go much farther if you can. 
step six: just outside of spawn
so you’re out of the major spawn area... now what?
find food, farm food. get as much food as you can, thats the most important thing to do at this moment. make sure you have as much food as you could need, and store some in your enderchest.
make a temporary base. you can make a small house, a hole, or even just a dirt hut. just make sure you have a place to store all your extra stuff, and a place to stay for now. (sidenote, don’t put a nether portal right beside your house.)
find a bed. later on, beds aren’t a big deal, but at first they definitely are. try to find or make a bed, and set your spawn somewhere. i’d suggest hiding the bed somewhere near your temporary base, but don’t make it visible.
get geared up. use your xray and get some diamonds, look through dungeons for enchanted books, make yourself tools, etc. its best to get what you need now that you’re out of spawn.
go fishing. you can get food, enchanted books, xp, etc. going fishing is actually super useful. the autofish hack is your friend right now. but don’t go afk when fishing, you can get kicked for it.
remember the nether highway myth. if you have almost nothing, and are travelling on the nether highways, there’s a good chance a high-level player could stumble upon you, take pity, and give you stuff. remember not to trust anyone right away, they could still end up killing you. but there is still a chance that being on the highways could get you everything youd ever need. again, though, make sure to put everything in your enderchest!
step seven: planning and playing.
im ready! ..what do i do now?
make a goal if you haven’t already. if you wanna be a nomad? plan where you’re gonna wander. if you’re gonna make a huge base? plan where to build it and go out there. if you’re gonna go visit monuments? figure out which ones and their coordinates, and start walking. gonna join a group? figure out which one would be safe and fun to join, and try to get in.
get as far from spawn as possible. unless you wanna stay near spawn, try and get 100,000 blocks away or further. and if you really wanna keep a base intact, don’t stay near any of the major highways.
have fun! as rough this server can be to play on, theres a lot of cool stuff you can find, and its important to find joy in the chaos.
and that’s all for now!
i may have forgotten things, so feel free to send me anything i missed! but i hope that everything i was able to write down will be enough to help anybody that wants to join 2b2t.org, the oldest anarchy server on minecraft!
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horansqueen · 5 years
Text
AM Conversations : chapter 28
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!
- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P
- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(
- note for this chapter: please forgive me
-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!
Chapter 28 : His chapter
NIALL
I was happy to have found my best friend back. It seemed like everything was back to normal, or almost. I split my time between Liv and Maya and I was trying to satisfy both, although Maya demanded more attention than I would have thought at the beginning. We had our occasional disputes, I couldn't lie, and most of them were about my best friend, but I was trying not to think about it and I never mentioned it to Olivia.
"Niall? Are you listening to me?"
"Mm?"
I looked up from my phone to look at my girlfriend. She looked pissed and glanced at the plate in front of me. Most of the time, she preferred to eat out and it sort of bothered me but if it saved us from an argument, I was in.
"You barely ate anything." she pointed out, raising her eyebrows.
I looked at her plate and then back up in her eyes.
"Your plate is pretty full too." I argued, moving my chin a bit as my eyes found my phone again.
I wanted to mention that she barely ate at all but I kept my mouth shut because I knew it was a touchy subject for her. Still, I worried about her and I was surprised she insisted on going out to eat since she barely did in the end. Perhaps it was only to make people believe she ate and not get any question. I felt my phone vibrate and looked down at it, quickly typing an answer to the message I just got. The conversation about food seemed to be over but when I heard her voice again, my heart jumped slightly.
"What's so interesting on your phone, Niall? Can't we just eat together and talk?"
I sighed, maybe a bit too loud, and put my phone back in my pocket, feeling it vibrate again immediately but trying to ignore it.
"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"
Her face changed and she looked down, making me believe that the conversation we were about to have was not a fun one. I breathed in deeply but subtly, trying to remain calm no matter what she'd say but knowing it wouldn't be easy.
Maya was more and more jealous as time went by. It had been a few weeks since Harry and Olivia broke up and since then, she had become a bit possessive and got mad almost every time i'd hang out with my best friend. She'd text me a few times an hour, ask many questions about what we did and said. and one time, she even showed up at Liv's, pretending she was 'in the neighborhood'.  It was not easy and we had that talk a hundred times, but I was starting to think that things would never change.
"I've seen the picture." she let out, making me frown. I was about to ask her what pictures she was talking about but she continued. "Of you and her... kissing."
Once again she put emphasis on the 'her' which is something she always did when it came to Olivia. I couldn't remember the last time she actually pronounced her name.
"What are you..."
I didn't have time to finish, she moved her phone up and showed me a picture from the day before. It was all over google, or it seemed, and I could see a very bad picture from very far away of a supposed and obscure kiss between my best friend and I. The angle was shady and although it was probably not photoshopped, it also was clearly not what was happening for real. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, taking a bite of my cold of pastas.
"You know it's just the angle, right?" I asked with an obvious tone full of judgement.
She breathed in, her facial expression turning into a angry one as she brought her phone closer to her, leaving it on the table. She moved closer to me, leaning against the table a bit, and sighed again.
"I think it is exactly what I see."
With my fork still in hand, i leaned against the table too to talk in a low tone.
"Three or four years ago there was a picture of Harry and I kissing that appeared online with a bunch of different articles titled ridiculous shit like 'Harry Styles' New Squeeze Is His One Direction Bandmate Niall Horan' and I can assure you Harry and I never kissed even if you would doubt it with the picture." I explained roughly but in a whisper. "It's what these people do, it's their job to start bullshit about celebrities. I'm sure you had your fair share. So if I tell you this picture is not real and that I was not kissing Olivia, then you should trust me."
She blinked a few times and shook her head and although I knew I hadn't convinced her of anything, I also knew she didn't have any argument to keep this fight going. Or I thought so.
"So you're not having sex with her?"
I choked on my beer and cleared my throat before swallowing hard. All I could think about was the time I fingered my best friend and how I came all over myself from it. It was very weird to think about it while looking at my girlfriend but I finally sighed. I hadn't touched Liv in that way or cheated on Maya again ever since and even if I couldn't pretend I hadn't thought about it, I had been physically faithful to her. Well, except that one time.
"Why would you even ask that?" I wondered rudely, a bit louder this time. "How many times do I have to tell you that she's just my best friend?"
I felt my heart jump in my chest as if i had just expressed a lie and maybe I had. Can someone really be just a friend if you also have sexual thoughts about them?
"Then why don't you ever make love to me?"
Her tone was rude but her voice was low and it seemed even rougher this way. It felt like a slap in the face and I held my breath, staring at her as the anger showed on my face turned into annoyance and a bit of embarrassment. I could feel my cheeks burn, not because I was not banging regularly a girl like Maya or because she was talking about it in public but simply because of the reason why.
"You know... love is a big thing and.."
"Fine." she cut me. "Why don't we have sex, then? Better?"
I cleared my throat without answering her question and licked my lips before looking up in her eyes. I was not having sex with Maya because I was too horny for someone else. It had never happened to me before but it was the truth. Maya and I fought a lot and argued and whenever it would happen, I clearly was not in the mood to be lovey with her. Even on our good days though, I couldn't do it. I had tried and we had a few times, but most of the time i'd find an excuse. Sometimes, i'd even wait until she was asleep to join her in bed, which resulted in many nights spent on the couch since I would end up falling asleep in the living room instead. The last time I had tried to have sex with Maya, I thought about my best friend and it felt so wrong that I had to stop and pretended I had a migraine. Yes, a fucking migraine. I was pathetic. I had this gorgeous model in my bed and I couldn't think with my cock for just an hour in order to shag her.
"I've just been tired and busy." I let out as if it explained anything. "Are you really mad about that? Seriously?"
She didn't answer but pressed her lips together, staring at me as I shook my head.
"Jealousy doesn't look good on you." I pointed out, playing with my cold food by running my fork a bit too violently in my plate.
"If you're not getting it from me, you're getting it somewhere else. I know how men work, Niall."
I sent her a frown and then scoffed, shaking my head again. I couldn't believe we were having this discussion and it made me feel like shit. Did I really want to go through that all the time? Of course, I didn't imagine Maya and I to get married or anything and if I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn't even see myself dating her in the long run. Perhaps this whole relationship was not worth trying to save after all.
"Really now?" I asked, slightly pissed now. "You know how men work? Well then I hope you saw this coming."
I grabbed the cloth napkin I had placed on my lap and wiped my hands with it before throwing it in my plate a bit roughly and looking up in her eyes. She seemed surprised but I knew she knew exactly what I was doing. I leaned closer to her again and stared at her for a few seconds.
"I'm tired of this. We're done."
With an annoying noise, I pushed my chair back and got up, grabbing my coat and diving both my hands in my pockets as I walked away. I stopped when I met our waiter and gave him two bills of a hundred to make sure everything was covered and to apologize if we disturbed other clients. I just wanted to be far from here as soon as possible and I thanked him before leaving quickly.
I breathed in deeply when I stepped out, the cold winter air reaching my nose and making me feel suddenly lighter. Was it wrong of me to feel so relieved to be single again? Perhaps, but I couldn't help it. I waved for a cab and quickly got in but giving the driver my best friend's address instead of mine. I really needed to see her and I felt like I hadn't seen her in way too long.
                                                       ---
I stood in front of her apartment building, my hands still in my pockets as the cab disappeared behind me. I didn't know if it was a good idea and I knew I was here unannounced but even if it hadn't happened in a while, we used to do that all the time. I wasn't sure she was there as I rang the bell but I decided that if she was not, i'd get inside and wait for her anyway, no matter how long it would take for her to come back.
It took longer than expected for the door to unlock and I put my keys back in my pockets, opening the door and rushing upstairs. When I knocked, the door opened slightly and Liv's face appeared, making my smile grow bigger.
"Hey, sorry I didn't call." I apologized, licking my lips. "Can I come in?"
I was excited to see her, impatient to tell her we'd get to spend more time together and explain that I was single now.
"Uhm, yea, of course."
She took a step behind and I pushed on the door slightly and walked quickly inside.
"So guess wh-" I stopped myself suddenly, my voice stuck in my throat as my smile fell. "Harry?"
My bandmate was there, sitting on her couch with half a blanket on him while the other was moved. She was clearly sitting there before opening the door and I noticed how close they must have been from each other. There was a movie on pause in the background and I tried to make sense of the scene in front of me.
My eyes found her again and I frowned, taken aback by the fact that I had not seen this coming at all. Perhaps I was too busy fighting with Maya to realize Olivia and Harry were hanging out again and I hated it. I hated it more than I could explain.
"Wow, really?" I asked, getting pissed for the second time tonight. "Him? Here?"
She frowned and shook her head a bit before shrugging but I didn't let her talk.
"You didn't even think to tell me that you two were spending time together?" I added, not giving her time to talk. "You didn't think to mention that you wanted to try again with him or that you had feelings for him again? What am I to you? Are we even still best friends?"
"Niall, it's not what you-"
"No, wait." I cut her. "I come here to tell you I dumped Maya and I find you cuddling Harry?"  I shook my head and scoffed, slipping my hand in my hair and turning on my heels so my back was facing her.
"It's really not what you think, Niall."
Hearing Harry's voice pissed me off even more and I shut my eyes tight with a groan. I wanted to tell him to mind his own business but I was scared that this business was now his, too. I missed the days Olivia and I were both single and always together but it seemed like it wouldn't be happening again. At least, not soon. Fucking Harry. I knew I was mad at him for no reason but I couldn't help it.
"He's right." Liv agreed with him, twisting something in my stomach. "And we weren't cuddling."
I turned back to her swiftly, raising my eyebrows as my lips parted.
"Don't lie to me, I have two functioning eyes!"
"Oh my god Niall calm down!"
Her voice took me by surprise and I took a step back as Harry got up from the couch slowly and walked up to her, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. That display of affection made me want to puke.
"I'll leave you two, call me okay?"
She nodded and he smiled before turning to me and giving me a short head movement as a goodbye. His hand slipped from her arm and I watched it, holding my breath the whole time. We waited until the door closed behind him and I breathed in but we stayed silent, just staring at each other. She seemed to glow and I didn't want it to be because of him. She moved two locks of hair behind both her ears and I surprised myself wishing I was the one who pushed them out of her face with more delicateness than the way she had done it.
I thought she'd propose me a drink and that we'd talk sitting on her couch but she just brought her arms closer, crossing them over her chest and bringing her shoulders up.
"Harry and I are just friends, Niall, that's all."
I hated that answer and it reminded me that I gave the exact same one to everyone who asked about me and her. Why did I have such a hard time believing it when it came from her mouth? Perhaps it was because it was hard to believe when it came out of mine.
"I'm not getting back with him, Niall."
I sighed and shook my head, bringing my hands to my hair and pulling on it a bit too hard. I don't know why I was getting so mad but I couldn't help it. It was raising inside me like a volcano near boiling and I closed my eyes, pacing quickly in a small circle and letting out a few groans. I couldn't seem to ease the anger I was feeling and it was making me even angrier.
"You know what? I don't believe you!" I let out.
"Why?" she asked with a frown, taking a step closer. "I won't go back with him!"
"And why wouldn't you go back with him mm?" I asked a bit too loud, throwing my arms in the air in a ridiculous way. "He's perfect, he clearly still has feelings for you and you two didn't really have any reason to break up."
"Because... that's not how it works, Nee." she replied, shaking her head and avoiding my eyes.
I blinked a few times, staring at her, breathing in as my hands formed fists. I could feel my nails digging gently in my palms and the word escaped my mouth in a yell. "WHY?"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU OKAY!?"
Silence. All I could hear was the pace of my heartbeats accelerating in my chest. My muscle loosened and I opened my hands as my shoulders fell.
"What?"
My voice was low, almost inaudible.
"I love you Niall. I'm in love with you." she added, swallowing hard. "I've always been. Since the day I found out what love was, I knew the love of my life was you. I didn't stop loving you, not even half a second. It's always been you, and no one else."
"That makes... no sense." I whispered, shaking my head and taking a step back despite myself.
"Except it makes all the sense in the world, Niall, don't you think?" I watched her tilt her head on the side and it hit me just how vulnerable she looked. "Don't you think we make sense?"
"As best friends, yea." I explained now completely calm. "As.. maybe a bit more than that, sure. We make sense as ambiguous best friends that people question, okay, I get that."
I stared at her, unsure if my heart had stopped or was going too fast for me to feel the beats. Weirdly, I wanted to take her in my arms and beg her to take her words back so everything could go back to normal. Why didn't I see this before? Or did I? Why didn't I want to see this before?
Her emotions changed, her face softening but also turning into a sad expression. I felt like shit, I felt out of place, I felt guilty... and all these feelings couldn't seem to make me find the right words.
"But Olivia, you and I? As a couple?" I shook my head, raising my eyebrows and bringing my shoulders up. "No, it doesn't make sense. It wouldn't work."
I was searching for her eyes but she was avoiding any contact and we remained motionless and in silence for a few minutes. It was awkward and I couldn't put a finger on the last time it was awkward between us.
"Do you love me, Niall?"
Her eyes finally met mine and my lips parted at her question. I pushed my hands deep in my pockets and shook my head slightly.
"You always ask me that question. My answer is still the same."
She took a step closer and my gaze followed her. The closer her body was getting, the harder my heart was beating. Why did this have to happen?
"I mean real love."
She didn't try to add anything else, we both knew what she meant and we both knew I was avoiding the question. She took an other step closer and I looked down in her eyes as her chin moved up. My eyes roamed in her face, trying to memorize every single detail : the way her tin lips were slightly parted, the way her green eyes had an halo of gold around the pupils, the way her button nose moved up delicately when she talked. I brought one of my hands to her cheek, slowly and gently, and ran my thumb on her skin. She looked on the verge to cry and I didn't want to admit that I felt tears coming, too. I was losing my best friend.
"I can't." I just said, taking a step back and feeling my hand slip from her face before letting my arm fall. "I'm sorry."
I sighed and closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to stop my whole body from throbbing and finally just shook my head before turning around.
"Niall..."
I swallowed hard and breathed in without turning back to look at her.
"I'm sorry."
And then I did the worst thing I could have done. I left.
                                                    ----
My whole body was burning and throbbing and I stopped running as soon as I was out of her building, holding myself on my knees with my hands, my eyes closed. It felt horrible, like I was trapped in a closed elevator in-between two levels... like I was stuck in a secluded and locked place without being able to get out. I had a hard time breathing and I tried to concentrate on inhaling and exhaling to get back to normal.
It took a while but when my crisis was over, I moved up again and searched for my phone in my pockets. I realized my hands were shaking when I tried typing a message but I finally hit 'send'. It took me longer than I thought but I eventually found a cab and ended up in bar, sitting on a stool and drinking a beer. I was twisting it in my hands without tasting it, probably warming the liquid with the palm of my hand pressed on the bottle. I felt someone sit next to me but it's only when I heard his voice that I looked up.
"Six tequila shots." Louis ordered, looking at the barman before turning to look at me and then back at the man behind the counter. "No wait, make it eight, please and thank you."
"Oh I'm not getting drunk." I pointed out with a frown.
"Fuck yes you are." Louis chuckled. "I'm seeing your face and you clearly need it. What happened? You broke up with Maya?"
I scoffed and looked back at my beer, taking of sip of it and grimacing slightly.
"That's not why I asked you to meet here, I just needed company."
I was not sure if it was a lie or if it was only half a lie but it didn't matter. Louis knew me too well and when he laughed, I knew he didn't believe anything I said. The barman came back and aligned the eight shots in front of us as Louis handed him a bill and my eyes roamed on the shots slowly.
"Let's drink half of them then you can tell me what the fuck is wrong Neil, okay?"
I rolled my eyes at the nickname and grabbed one, quickly downing it and turning the shots around, putting it back on the counter with a light thud before grabbing the other one and doing the same. My throat was burning because of the alcohol and so were my eyes but there was clearly no link with the shots. I rubbed both my eyes and sighed again but when I turned to Louis, he was waiting.
"Olivia told me she loved me."
Louis blinked a few times and shook his head.
"Okay... and?"
I opened my eyes in surprise. I had expected a different reaction : a loud laughter, a shocked expression, or even a grimace... but indifference? No, I hadn't seen that coming at all.
"And?" I repeated, raising my eyebrows. "She loves me, Louis. She LOVES me."
This time, Louis laughed and shook his head, pushing an other shot on the counter to get it closer to me.
"Because you're gonna tell me you didn't know before she told you?"
He grabbed a shot and brought it to his lips. I watched him as he swallowed the third and the fourth, grimacing and finally turning to look at me. I was not really sure why it was Louis I had called. Probably because he was the first contact I found, or maybe because I knew he was going to tell me things the way he sees them. He was going to tell me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear.
"N-No..."
"Then you're a fooking idiot, Niall."
"Thanks Tommo, that really helps." I let out with sarcasm, raising my nose and drinking my last shots before grabbing my beer again.
"So, you two are dating now?" he asked, taking the cigarette from behind his ear to place it between his lips.
My face twisted in an other grimace and my nose raised up at his words as he took his lighter out of his pockets. I watched as he lighted it up and inhaled a long puff, letting the smoke come out from his nose. I was not even sure it was allowed to smoke in this bar.
"No, of course we're not dating. I don't.. We're not..." It seemed like I couldn't finish my sentence and I sighed a bit too loud.
"Let's face it Niall. The only thing that would change if you two started dating would be holding hands and having sex. It doesn't sound too terrible does it?"
He tapped on his cigarette and the ash fell on his napkin before he licked his lips. I tried to think about having sex with Liv every day and holding her hand... I tried to think about cuddling her at night, dancing with her in the living room, having conversations in the AM all the time. Louis was right, most of those were things we already did.
"But dating means love, it means a steady relationship, it means being faithful and owing your time and heart to someone. it implies a lot more than I can give her. I can't give her that."
"Can't or won't?"
"I hate you, Tommo." I groaned, grabbing my beer again and drinking what was left of it.
"You're scared, that is pretty obvious." Louis said, his lips moving a bit as he shrugged. "But it's time you man up and admit how you feel. Or i'm telling you, mate. You're gonna lose her. And this time, it may be forever."
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onlyjihoons · 7 years
Text
policeman!jihoon pt.2
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a/n; special thanks to bff jupiter @chaeyolks for the pretty pretty moodboard once again,, also! this is a collab w @alliwannado-w1, her installment for woojin is coming up this weekend so do look forward to it^^
policeman!jihoon pt.1//policeman!woojin
warning: slight alcohol mention+slight violence, however characters are written when they are of adult age
“you’re illegal, why are you even a police officer?”
“you’re going to do undercover duty with y/n.”
“again?!”
“unless you want me to–”
“yes sir”
so here he was, groaning at his impeccable luck
he needed to get back at daniel for making him buy that drink LOL
“hello, im inspector park jihoon, please take care of me”
you looked up, being greeted by jihoon, in a light blue button down and ripped jeans
with that lanyard that has his name and picture??
usually staff id pics look like mugshots
but hey his pic deadass looks like a shot of those models for some fashion show
“hello, i’m sergeant y/l/n,” you smiled, sticking out your hand, “i hope we will work well together.”
at that moment jihoon fell for your brown eyes
and dimples when you smile
whatever he said about having zero interest in girls was thrown into the gutter
jihoon was tasked to shadow you for your duties for a month
he was pretty sure he was gonna get sacked for falling for his superior LOL
anyways
your first day of working with jihoon was nothing big, just typing out some reports
it was a little weird because an inspector from the violent crimes department in a street crimes(idk what its called pls forgive me) department? typing out reports of a lost puppy??
anyhow your female colleagues from the other departments will ever more often drop by your desk just to see jihoon
it was getting annoying how theyre actually paying more attention to jihoon
so you asked minhyun to dispatch you for more undercover duties LOL
“i thought you loved writing reports”
“not until the female sergeants from other departments come to my desk to see inspector park??”
“are you jealous?”
ngl you were but you arent gonna let it show
especially in front of minhyun
he would f l i p
“try having 3 colleagues flocking to your table every 2 hours to see your co-worker instead of talking to you, and also distracting you from doing work.”
“fine”
undercover was boring, you would normally drag sergeant!baejin along with you
but this time he wanted to stay in the office because he doesnt want to be the “third wheel”
you and jihoon would go to the same club everyday to do undercover duties
and the both of you manage to bust some sleazy dudes
since the whole thing was already under control the both of you soon don’t need to go to the club
and actually do night patrols
it was fun, because jihoon would entertain you by pulling funny faces and treat you to ice cream
contrary to your expectations, jihoon was actually quite nice to be around with
but then something in your mind went off about him
 you remembered the fuckboy senior that played with girls’ hearts in high school
it was jihoon
you were well aware that you were a position above him despite the 2 year age gap
but you couldn’t let yourself fall for someone who breaks hearts
so you decided to build a invisible wall of friendship to prevent yourself from falling for him
i mean how couldn’t you,, he was good looking, good at his work, and had a faint protective vibe which you liked
like whenever you were feeling only a little chilly at the cool breeze jihoon would not hesitate to drape his jacket over you
and also let you walk on the inside of the pavement
besides, minhyun would fall off his chair at the thought of his sister dating someone from the violent crimes department
but that didn’t stop you from having fun
the both of you would sit at swings and play at the slides
there was once jihoon was stuck at one of the slides and you had to help him LOL
but ended up pulling out one of his Stan Smiths and nearly called the fire brigade
day by day, the both of you got closer
and you told jihoon not to call you “sergeant hwang” bc that sounds rlly formal
one day the both of you were just talking about random stuff and you mentioned that you wanted to pick up martial arts
“i can teach you if you want!^^”
“really? what martial arts do you do?”
“i have a six-don black belt in taekwondo, i do teach little kids in my spare time as well”
so here you are, standing at the back of jihoon’s taekwondo class
you felt very over-aged learning taekwondo with a bunch of white-belt kids
but they were really good, and jihoon told the kids you were his assistant for the time being
yeah, assistant with a white belt
and just saying, jihoon looked rlly rlly hot in that taekwondo uniform
with slightly sweaty bangs and all
when he just stands aside for the kids to practice and adjusts his belt
bOI
ok moving on
you learnt some basic moves and jihoon barely needed to coach you to get them right
so all those years of fighting with minhyun was worthwhile
jihoon would shift you up to a yellow belt in two weeks because you were that good
so one day your eyes obviously wasn’t doing you good
you kept messing up the sequence throughout the lesson, maybe your condition wasn’t good
jihoon could see it and asked you to rest for a while
after the lesson ended, you took your street clothes and accidentally walked into the men’s changing room
and you walked into a topless jihoon
luckily, he was the only one inside
you could see his toned abs, and defined arms
not to mention that killer jawline
and in taekwondo pants????
jihoon noticed you staring slightly and then fumbled to find his taekwondo robe
and you noticed you were in the wrong changing room
“oh shit im so sorry i--i”
just as you were about to get out of the changing room jihoon blocked the door
without his robe
“y/n, did you enter the wrong changing room to see,,,”
“see?”
he pointed to his abs, “this?”
you could only laugh, “i would never do that, i can easily see them on the internet”
he raised his eyebrows, “so you watch porn?”
“no??” you rolled your eyes, offended, “do you think i’m that kind of person, inspector park?”
“n-no--”
“i’m sorry i’m not like those girls you played with back in high school, i’m not after your body--”
“you’re driving me crazy, y/n”
“what?”
“your eyes, your nose, your lips, drive me crazy.” jihoon stared right into your eyes, making you blush
“hey inspector park--”
“why don’t you call me ‘jihoon oppa’ anymore? is our relationship strictly work-related now?”
“i just...” you sighed how something small could escalate to something big like this, “i like you, jihoon-oppa”
you slightly cringed but you continued, 
“but we cant do this. minhyun will get mad, and there goes my job.”
“b-but--”
“sorry, inspector park, i’d have to go.”
you pushed jihoon aside weakly, then going out and into the ladies’ changing room
you felt hot tears trickling down your face, in reality, you just didn’t want your heart to be broken
the next day, you and jihoon went to work like a normal day
just, no patrolling and writing of reports the whole day
the office could sense a tension between the both of you, even your female colleagues stopped coming over
“hey y/n,” baejin stopped by your table and handed over a file, “you gotta go undercover again for that club, the perverts are striking again.”
“again?” you sighed, “okay i’ll go.”
“do you need me to go with you?” baejin leaned against your desk, “ you seem, off, today”
“i-”
“i will go with her, sergeant bae.” jihoon spoke, “it’s my last day here anyway.”
so fast, a month has passed, you thought.
“thanks inspector park. i’ll get going then.”
you skipped dinner, all you did was to write reports continuously throughout the day
until jihoon slammed your laptop shut, and stared straight into your eyes
“we need to go now, sergeant hwang.” his lips stretched into a straight line.
you unwillingly got up from your seat, as you shrugged on your coat and headed out to the carpark to wait for jihoon
the car ride was quiet, with you staring out of the window, not talking to jihoon
though it was jihoon’s last day, and you were sorry he had to spend his last day like that
you had to stop yourself 
though the club was playing upbeat music, all you could do was to stare into blank space
just then, some sleazy dude came up to you
“can i buy this pretty lady a drink?” he winked
“no thanks, im with someone else--”
“ey, that someone else can wait.”
“i really do have someone--”
“i said i will get you a drink alright?!” the man’s rogueish smile appeared, grabbing your wrist, “i know you’re here to do undercover duties, sergeant hwang--”
just then, a fist was sent flying to the man’s cheek, as he stumbled backwards
you saw an angry jihoon, his face was red with anger
“if you ever touch sergeant hwang again, you’ll end up in the hospital.” jihoon growled.
“wow, sergeant, i didn’t know you were into flowery pretty boys like--”
jihoon sent another punch across the man’s face, making him fall to the ground
you had to physically stop jihoon from hitting that sleazy dude, or it would’ve turned into a full fight
“jihoon-oppa,” you held his arm, which weakened at your touch, “let’s stop, minhyun wouldn’t be happy if he saw this.”
jihoon scoffed, putting the dude in handcuffs
“you’re under arrest for sexual harrassment, you have a right to remain silent, unless with witness that will support your innocence.”
after that dude was thrown into jail, jihoon immediately hugged you
“are you okay?” he then took a step back to analyse your frame, “he didn’t hurt you, right? i was so--”
you then cut jihoon off with a kiss, shutting him up effectively.
jihoon kissed you back with more assertion, to make up for the time he didn’t get to talk to you throughout the day
“what was that, y/n?” jihoon smiled, ruffling your hair
“don’t tell minhyun about this”
boyfriend!jihoon in the police station is super sweet, leaving you a sandwich for breakfast, then dragging you out for lunch
minhyun soon found out about it, “i knew the both of you had something going on”
and jihoon wasn’t the asshole you expected him to be
he only had eyes for you, and it was really endearing
the both of you would go on night walks, and then sitting on the swing set, talking about random things
overall, the sweetest crime-busting couple in Gangnam Police Station
“I don’t know how you became a police officer, your looks are illegal, you’re my illegirl”
lowkey stole that from dimple by bts sorry im lame i hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i liked writing this,,my request box is always open, so do send in requests!
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paul-patts-blog · 7 years
Note
all for my boyfriends (why am i not dating any of your women?)
no women for u. 
BERLIOZ 
☾ - sleep headcanon-- berlioz rarely  sleeps in the nude. even after sex, he gets cold and has to grab a shirt and boxers. many times he has managed to sweet talk simba into doing it so he can stay curled in the covers. 
★ - sad headcanon- ugh his entire demeanor?? there r just so many 
☆ - happy headcanon- ber has learned a lot of life skills the past two years, like laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming-- even cooking! tbh he has grown to really like coming over to help nounou prepare dinner since he does that (or did that) with simba. 
☠ - angry/violent headcanon- ber’s anger is cold and sharp. he is not a physical guy but knows how to say like the perfect brutal thing. dem bonfamilles yo. 
✿ - Sex headcanon- ber is nasty. UHHHH. ber never went down on a girl and probably never will lolololol 
■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- as a young broody teen, ber literally made a KEEP OUT sign that he put on his doorknob at all times. it was mostly for marie tbh who terrorized him and his stuff
♡ - romantic headcanon- ber literally can’t look at a rose without thinking of simba and also simba’s aunt who has a rose farm. for the rest of his life, that’s what he’ll think about. 
♥ - family headcanon- hector was the person who bought berlioz his first david bowie album and on the day bowie died-- ber actually texted his dad and they had a CALL about it. it’s one of the only things they have in common. 
☮ - friendship headcanon- ber is literally the best friend u can have ok if u get him on ur side he’s one of those who will ride or die, offer to bury the body, etc. 
♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- he really likes MAPS. whenever he goes to a new city he picks up the city map and keeps it. his desk is like fuuuull of maps. i’m sure lou has gotten him like old, antique maps before that he has in frames. 
☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- likes really long plane rides, longer the better, loves airplane food, loves the whole nine yards /  dislikes any gossip or reality tv show it like literally makes him SO mad like he can’t watch dance moms or keeping up with the kardashians he gets /upset/ bc ppl are so /mean/ and /stupid/ and he hates it 
▼ - childhood headcanon- would wake up early to watch pokemon his one exception to the sleep until noon rule. 
∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- ber will be that old man busting out beautiful piano pieces in random places bc he will have lost all his fucks by then
♒ - cooking/food headcanon- wow can my above one with nounou count-- uhhh he is in charge of cutting veggies. 
☼ - appearance headcanon- ber is the type of boy to never take off his concert wristbands. sometimes he picks at them and they get ripped up and nasty and eventually they fall off. 
ൠ - random headcanon- i am bad at these uuuuuh ber once sang the pina colada song to simba when he was drunk outta his brain and simba probably captured a good 80 percent on video. 
◉ - Any other question of your choosing- idk im uncreative
HADES
☾ - sleep headcanon- hades has discovered that listening ot books on tape helps him get to sleep! 
★ - sad headcanon- uh that his mum didn’t leave a goodbye note 
☆ - happy headcanon- uhhh once opal saved up her money and took hades and persephone out to the movies and then they had ice cream!!! and that was the closet thing to a holiday that hades had as a child oh this god sad again
☠ - angry/violent headcanon- he used his ghost powers on his grandfather to like smash his grandfather’s head into the kitchen counter after he said something Truly Rude and knocked him out and seph was scared and crying and he had to call the ambulance and tbh he was very scared and felt guilty these r all sadder than my sad headcanon
✿ - Sex headcanon- goes down on belle at every opportunity bc he has a control kink (also does fantasize about her going down on him boy just likes oral sex)
■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- hades room is immaculate. he makes his bed every single day and washes his sheets once a week. or he did now he lives in hell and its SO DUSTY and he does all the dusting, 
♡ - romantic headcanon- uh lmao fuck uh. hades version of romance is having belle practice the debate questions with him. 
♥ - family headcanon- opal taught both her kids to read and do arithmetic before their peers and that’s why the acherons r smart alecks 
☮ - friendship headcanon- hades now plays words with friends with belle AND lou. wow. so popular. 
♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- hades organizes the cereals in the pantry by alphabetical order. and the spices. and soups. basically anything that can be organized he likes having systems ok. 
☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- blackjack and really gambling in general tbh he’s real good at it / dislikes- fried food 
▼ - childhood headcanon- walked to school no matter the weather bc people on the bus would torment seph and though he woulda FOUGHT THEM OFF seph just wanted to avoid it so, he walked her to school
∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- hades is honestly going to have trouble giving up immortality. he’s vain and he doesn’t want to grow old tbh. and bc he’s the ambassador he almost doesnt /have/ to ... 
♒ - cooking/food headcanon- hades loves chocolate milk its a sinful indulgence that he probably hid from belle for a long time and tbh he still denies himself chocolate milk a lot like challenges himself to go without chocolate milk for 90 days stupid shit like that everything’s a competition BUT HE LOVES CHOCOLATE MILK SO MUCH 
☼ - appearance headcanon- always immaculate. always. 
ൠ - random headcanon- hades sometimes refolds belle’s clothes that she folds bc its not good enough, sorry hon, 
◉ - Any other question of your choosing-don’t come at me
PAUL 
☾ - sleep headcanon- paul’s sleep schedule has long been outta wack, so he usually can only sleep three or four hours before his body gets himself up. normally he goes and gets a glass of water or if it’s a more restless night, he’ll have to read himself back to sleep. 
★ - sad headcanon- paul was the one who told his mother that lucas died 
☆ - happy headcanon- when the babies were born paul like basically spent the entire day taking pictures of themmm with perdy and he was so so happy and he still has every single picture no matter how terrible the shots 
☠ - angry/violent headcanon- paul has a tiny bit of a violent streak in him that he can mostly control, but he does get into fights with other blokes and has thrown stuff when he gets mad. 
✿ - Sex headcanon- the first time paul had sex his first words were “holy shit” quickly followed by “sorry” quickly followed by him coming. it was not the most impressive first time.
■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- paul and lucas shared a room and they were around the same size and had lots of the same tastes so they shared everything else too, so often that when lucas died, paul couldn’t remember if certain shirts were his, which albums were his, etc. 
♡ - romantic headcanon- paul is the type to write random notes and leave them around the house. he did this for perdy when she was pregnant and some of them had clues that led to OTHERs because he’s extra we know he’s extra 
♥ - family headcanon- the patts family is rarely all in one place, but they always congregate for one thing: football in the spot. unless paul’s mom is having a bad time, even she’ll come down. 
☮ - friendship headcanon- though roger is certainly his best friend, harry is his oldest friend-- knowing him since they were both wee lads in primary school around 6 or 7 years old. they tried out for the football team together. 
♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- paul actually knows how to brew his own beer! he learned his from johnny, who is a beer connoisseur and like makes his own types and swears he’s gonna get rich of them (probably never will) but Paul used to help Johnny with the whole process and they’d organize like ‘tasting’ parties which-- was just a bunch of men getting very drunk and playing card games tbh.  
☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- shopping for new clothes, he always feels so fancy and rich / grocery shopping nothing could be more boring and he usually impulse buys like more beer and sweets than he needs lol 
▼ - childhood headcanon- paul broke his arm when he was 8 after falling out of a tree and into the shrubbery. he was trying to hide from simon who had just got a new paintball gun and wanted to use paul as his target practice !!! 
∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- paul is gonna be the old guy who thinks he’s “cool” and “hip” and will like do the line dances and idk probably pick up a mid-life crisis hobby like SKIING thats dangerous but makes him feel “alive.”
♒ - cooking/food headcanon- his mother makes the most amazing cinnamon hot cocoa. whenever he’s sad, it’s what he craves, to him, sadness tastes and smells like cinnamon. 
☼ - appearance headcanon- paul loves getting ready for events. he and perdy would spend an equal amount deciding on outfits and doing their hair and shit he just-- feels so goddamn fancy. 
ൠ - random headcanon- paul lets edith read all his stories. she is the only one. she still gets emailed drafts. this is because edith hates reading, so if edith likes something, he knows that it’s good.
◉ - Any other question of your choosing
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