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lees-chaotic-brain · 4 days

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You and I by richard hadley and the death ramps, toji, fluff if possible but anything else is great too!!

WC: 2.4k

CW: sorry anon i threw a tad bit of hurt/comfort into the fluff, NOT beta read, editing what's that?, reader referred to as a biker girl, swearing, toji being a bad partner (dw he pulls it together), possibly very ooc idk i've never written for him before, plz don't ask how this got so long i honestly have no idea

taglist: @arlerts-angel @ponderingmoonlight @m0k0k0

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There was something off about you. It left him unable to keep his eyes off you, but he didn't have the faintest idea of what it could be.

Was it the emotion in your music? No, that couldn’t be it because there almost always was some musician or another at the diner. And they were normally pretty decent. Maybe it was the motorcycle helmet and keys sitting next to your bag behind you. But he had been around biker girls before, so that didn’t make sense. What was it?

He always goes to this particular diner for lunch when he could, but today as he sat there examining you the place felt different. The smudges and signatures inked on the walls seemed to add to the atmosphere instead of being an eyesore, and the smell of grease and fast food almost comforting. The atmosphere seemed different today, and he felt like it had something to do with you.

Caught up in his musing, he didn’t even notice he was staring at you until you shot him a cheeky smile and a wink as you sang. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he refocused on his neglected lunch, shoveling it down to try and forget what your gaze had done to him. For some reason, he found himself wishing you would look at him again, that feeling lingering throughout the rest of the day and into the next.

I like the way you look at me baby

Toji Fushiguro doesn’t make mistakes. Not because he was born perfect, but because the reality of his life was that one mistake meant death. In a world where cursed energy was deemed necessary to fight curses he made do with brute strength alone. Which worked. Normally.

See, for his way of doing things to work, he needed to have his head in the game. To be one hundred and ten percent focused on the fight at hand. So why the fuck was he thinking about you? And why the actual fuck was the thought of you enough to throw him off his game??

These were all things running through his head as he finished off the curse before slumping to the ground beside it, one large hand pressed against the wound on his ribs as blood seeped out through his fingers.

He couldn’t afford to lose focus. One moment of distraction and this had happened. If it weren’t for his quick reflexes he would be dead right now. So he had no choice. He had to get to the bottom of this. He had to go back and see you again, if only to see what made you so special. All so that he could focus on his job, of course.

At least that’s what he told himself as he returned to the diner, hoping to see you again.

I act as if I'm not going crazy

Girl I'm in a muddle tonight

Packing up your stuff after a long gig at your local diner, you couldn’t wait to get home. Caught up in your fantasies of a hot bath and a pack of instant ramen, you didn’t notice the man approaching you until he stopped in front of you, his shadow blocking the light.

“Sorry, they’re closed, I'm just headed out now.” You look up, vaguely recognizing the hunk of muscle that stood in front of you. Oh, that’s right. He’s the guy who was staring at you during your performance the other day. You wondered what he needed.

“Give me your number.”

“Excuse me?” Of all the things you expected him to say, demanding your number was not one of them. “May I ask why you need it?”

“Just cause.” He folds his beefy arms across his chest, not wavering as you narrow your eyes and scrutinize him, unsure if he’s being serious. Unfortunately, you think he is.

“Listen.” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’ve had a long day. I’m tired. I want to go home. If you want my number, you have to give me something more to work with here, buddy.”

“Buddy?” He quirks an eyebrow, a smirk stretching the small scar at the corner of his mouth. “Do I look like a “buddy” to you?”

You make a show of examining him closely before straightening. “No, you’re right. You look like the guy who ate my buddy. Which is exactly why I don’t think I should give you my number.”

And with that, you sling your bag over your shoulder and leave, climbing on your bike and speeding away. Assuming that would be the last you saw of him, you were surprised when you arrived for your next performance and found him waiting there for you.

“Didn’t get enough of me, huh.” You snark, breezing by him. “At least leave a nice tip this time, ‘kay?”

“No.” His deep voice rumbles from behind you, and you spin to see him staring at you with a stupidly sexy grin on his stupidly hot face.

“Why not?”

“Cause I’m broke.”

You’re unable to hold your snort in, surprised and amused by his unashamed bluntness. Still laughing to yourself, you turn around and pat his bicep.

“Sorry, buddy.” His mouth quirks at your emphasis on the offensive word. “Now you’re definitely not getting my number.”

With that, you walk inside, leaving him outside on the sidewalk with a sneaking suspicion that he just fell in love with you.

Would you tell me where you're gonna take it

If I had a heart you're the one who should break it

Two years later and he has successfully obtained your number, and the two of you are now in a semi-serious relationship. Surprisingly, you were the one to initiate the relationship, despite repeatedly rejecting him when you first met.

At first things had been really nice, as close to perfect as things could be, in your opinion. He was by no means a gentleman, or good with his words, but his dry humor and actions were enough to convey his affection towards you. And that was enough.

Or, at least it was, until he stopped showing up. About a year or so into your relationship he started standing you up occasionally due to work. Honestly, you weren’t entirely sure what his job was, only that it required him to travel and stay in good shape.

The first few times it happened, you brushed it off. After all you were both adults with jobs and lives outside of each other. Of course you would be busy. But then it started happening more and more, and the periods of time he was gone became longer and longer.

The breaking point came around your two year anniversary. You had received a job offer that would require you to move, and as much as you wanted to take it you knew you had to talk it over with him first. There was just one problem. You hadn’t seen him in over a month.

With your two year anniversary approaching, you really wanted to try and reconnect because you hadn’t felt close to him in awhile, and with this job opportunity on the horizon you had to think about whether or not continuing your relationship was worth it.

So you told him that you really wanted to celebrate your two year anniversary with him, and that you had something important to tell him. Not ready to give up on your relationship yet, you put a lot of effort into the night, buying a new dress and cooking a nice dinner for the two of you to share.

But just as you finish setting the table and tidying up the house because he’s due to arrive any second, your phone dings.

Toji <3: Sorry. Won’t be able to make it tonight. Took another job. I’ll be back next week.

The engines running, can't decide if I should ride away

Tired and sore from the last job he had accepted, Toji heads back to your shared apartment, eager to see you again. He didn’t particularly enjoy taking on new jobs, but money didn’t grow on trees so he didn’t really have a choice. He did miss your cooking and affection when he was gone though.

Fumbling with his keys, he finally manages to get the door open and steps inside, only to be greeted by a dark apartment. That was strange. Normally you were home by now. The thought crosses his mind that something could have happened to you, and he slips into the living room, panic stirring in his stomach.

Moving with an amount of stealth unexpected of someone his size, he checks the entire apartment, only to find it empty, with no sign of…anything, really. Realizing that you could just be out with friends, he flicks on the lights and plops down on the couch with a sigh.

Stretching his arms above his head and yawning, a piece of paper sitting innocently on the coffee table with his name on it catches his attention. Absentmindedly cracking his neck, he reaches down and grabs it, gently unfolding it.

His heart sinks as he scans it, your familiar handwriting suddenly illegible. Because there’s no way he’s reading this right. There’s no way you left. There was no reason for you to. Things were great between the two of you. At least, that’s what he had thought, but according to the letter in his hands you didn’t feel the same way.

The next few minutes pass in a blur of tearing open dresser drawers and frantically searching closets for a sign that you hadn’t packed up all of your belongings and left. But all he found was empty space, the smell of your perfume still lingering in the air, despite it being devoid of your presence.

Finally taking a moment to stop and process, he finds himself wondering what he’s so worked up about. So what if you left? It’s not like he needs you or anything. He didn’t even do anything to warrant you leaving! Sure he missed your anniversary, but he planned to make it up to you when he got back! And maybe it wasn’t even the first time he had stood you up like that on an important date, but if you were willing to leave over something as miniscule as that, were you even worth keeping?

At least that’s what he kept telling himself as he went on with his life pretending there wasn't a gaping hole in his life that you used to fill.

Too stubborn to be the first person to reach out when he still felt he hadn’t done anything, a month went by without any contact between the two of you. In the beginning it didn’t bother him that much, because the reality hadn’t fully set in yet. But slowly as the weeks wore on, so too did the absence of all the little things he hadn’t realized he took for granted.

Like the way your quiet humming brought life to the otherwise dull apartment. Or the way your things scattered around on various surfaces had been a constant reassurance of your presence. He missed you scolding him and telling him he needed to take a break, he missed your laughter, he missed your kisses, he-fuck.

He missed you so much. What was he doing?

I had a woman, she went away

And now I'm lonely, fuck it

It’s now been a month since you left in a storm of hurt feelings and anger, but you still hadn’t heard from him. Deep down, you hadn’t expected to actually break up. You figured you would leave and time to cool down. Then when he got back and realized you left it would be a major wake up call for him and he would come running to you with an apology and then he would change.

Instead you got radio silence. You weren’t too concerned the first week because you knew Toji was as stubborn as you were and probably didn’t want to be the first one to reach out and admit he was wrong.

So you waited (semi) patiently, but when a second, then a third week went by without a word, you were faced with the possibility that he wouldn’t ever call. That the two of you truly were over.

Which is why when you were awoken from your nap on the couch by loud knocking at three in the afternoon, you shouted informing them that you would be there in a second as you adjusted your clothes assuming that someone just needed you to sign for a package or something like that.

What you were definitely not expecting to see was your kinda ex-boyfriend standing stiffly in your doorway, staring steadfastly at something over your head.

“Um. Hello?” You lean against the door frame and tuck your hands into your pockets, hoping to conceal their trembling. “You need something?”

“Yes. Actually. I do.” His eyes met yours, and you were shocked by the raw emotions swirling in them. “I need us. Together. You with me. Me with you. The way things are meant to be. I know I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes-”

You snort and raise your eyebrows. “Well, a lot of the time.” He amended, rolling his eyes.

“But, I do really care about you and while I’m not the greatest with my words, or the brightest guy you’ll ever meet, I promise that if you call me out on my bullshit I’ll listen and do my best to change.”

You pretend to think it over, as if the two of you getting back together wasn’t inevitable the second you saw him standing in your doorway. “Let me see…oh wait. One second.”

Pulling out your phone you tap away for a couple of seconds before sliding it into your back pocket. “Sorry ‘bout that. I just accepted this job. Let me get back to you in a week.” With that snarky comment and a smug wink, you shut the door firmly in his face and he hears the sound of the deadbolt clicking into place seconds later.

For a moment he stands there, unsure what to do before he starts laughing. There was the feisty person he had fallen in love with and missed so desperately. And when he heard your quiet chuckles coming from the other side of the door, he knew the two of you would be okay.

The two of you were able to laugh and be together. Just the way you belong.

You and I

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iminthetunnels · 10 months

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i mean this respectfully! How do you provide for yourself + your son w/ no income? Do you have help? My job keeps us financially comfortable but it is sucking the life out of me ignoring and (what feels like) emotionally neglecting my child for a meaningless office job 40+ hrs/wk. IDK if it's worth it anymore but i am terrified of not being able to provide. TY if you answer ❤️❤️❤️

i really like this question bc i constantly want to speak about it on my blog LMAO

i struggle hard. i get about $240 in child support a month, and if u total everything together, my car, my car insurance, gas, diapers, wipes, food after my food stamps run out, it doesn’t last long and i basically have no savings. while saying all this, before anyone attacks me for being poor and having children despite being poor, i wasn’t poor before domestic violence, and i chose my child over everything. i have always taken care of myself and my family, and now i can’t. many such cases. nothing is ever as black and white.

i will say i but my wipes and diapers from target, with a target account, so i earn money back, and whenever i earn enough back, i pick out small little toys. like he has a gardening set from target and a little car, bought entirely with points from buying diapers.

also, i have amazing friends. a little while ago, when my house flooded, a mutual sent me a large sum of money, with that money i was able to shop secondhand and purchase a lot of 2-4t clothes, meat, and things like oats, fruit i can freeze, and i’m still living off that. i do take advantage of the churches food banks (but i only take whole, real foods, never in cans or packages unless they’re like plain no seed oil raisins) not too long ago, i was able to pick out free clothes from a ministry, so i was able to get clothes that actually fit me:)

i relied on my tax return a lot for extra stuff like getting clothes, more activity sets that i don’t have to makeshift (i don’t mind doing this, like using cardboard for a little hands on activity set) but i have been “randomly selected for screening” by the IRS. LOL many such cases. i haven’t gotten my taxes at all.

basically, i struggle, and some times i get scared bc my car is old. i have amazing friends, lin, rayce, my mom LMFAOOO she’ll buy my child’s milk some times and some snacks that she knows i approve of. most importantly, i pray. and i put lots of faith in god to take care of us. i have a water dispenser, where i fill up water for around $5, three 5 gallon water containers last me around a month or so. i make my own laundry detergent, i have a costco card where i buy bulk toilet paper, use flour sacs as paper towels. i literally just try my best and it always ends up working out. i have debt for sure, like i have my car debt. but i don’t worry too much about it. i’m almost finished paying it off. i should really get into selling my precious moments figurines because i have hundreds.

thank u for such a good question. at the end of the day, i know we go without a LOT of things. but i know that gods earth is totally free, we can walk around the park and run for hours, and that’s our entertainment. i would much rather be with my child than put him in some state funded daycare and work for a dead end job that actually doesn’t care about me. i don’t pay attention to what we don’t have, but rather appreciate what we do have and love my sweet baby with all my being. i just want to be present for him. i don’t know if i’m making sense LOL. i’m sorry. but if i had to be honest, i would say, fuck a job, i’d rather be here with my son. i have been looking at farming positions, and maybe helping someone on their farm in the early mornings, i’d want to bring my child with. and at home positions (as crazy as this sounds) aren’t that much better. constantly in front of a computer would drive me absolutely batshit insane… and would still take time away from my baby. i’m just letting go and letting god. i hope this isn’t too crazy sounding :( i could rly ramble on about this topic!!!

#thank u to everyone who has ever helped me. you have saved my child and me in ways beyond explanation. thank u everyone

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babyjakes · 2 years

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forever and a day | 28. he's my friend.

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summary | a story in which america’s favorite captain gives a new life and family to a five-year-old girl who has suffered well beyond her years at the hands of hydra.

characters | dad!steve rogers, girl/willa rogers (original character)

warnings | AU similar enough to OU to include spoilers to many Marvel movies (Age of Ultron and beyond). action and fight scenes with violence and killing. injuries/mild gore. mature themes related to and semi-graphic depictions of child abuse/neglect, past CSA and CSM, and their aftermath (emaciation, wounds, scarring, etc). medical abuse and experimentation. ptsd/trauma symptoms in a child (developmental discrepancies, de-humanized behavior, detachment, extreme fears). medical treatment of CSM and other aftermath of abuse.trauma-informed therapeutic treatment of ECT. somewhat evil!Tony Stark (eventually).

[Steve]

“…he said his name was Bucky.”

Ever since Willa spoke those words yesterday, I’ve been unable to shake them from my mind. In the moment, I decided not to tell the little girl that I knew the only other person in the world she’s ever loved, that he was my best friend, and that I knew exactly why he turned evil. Even though my first instinct was to defend Buck and tell her that he didn’t choose to betray her, something within myself stopped me. It had already been such an eventful day for her, for all of us. Starting on about Bucky felt like a whole new can of worms that I didn’t think I could open in that moment. Bruce had sent me a look of surprise in regards to my silence. Thankfully, though, he didn’t push anything further than that.

Glancing at the clock, I see that it’s only a few minutes past 7:00am. Sitting on the edge of my bed as the warmth of the rising sun falls on my back through the window behind me, I pick up my cellphone from my nightstand, unlocking it with my thumb and swiping it open. I pull up my contacts list, and he’s the very first name, right at the top.

Bucky.

Before I can change my mind, I’ve tapped his number, hitting the call button. As I raise the phone gently to the side of my face, it only rings once before he answers, his voice sounding rough. “Steve?”

“Hey Buck,” I say softly, not knowing how to start the conversation. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“It’s alright. I don’t do much sleeping anymore,” he admits, his soft smile audile through his voice.

“Yeah, I guess I don’t either,” I chuckle lightly. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know. I’ve been… managing.” We both know there’s so much more underneath that statement, but I don’t want to push him. When he needs to talk, he comes to me. When he wants to say more, he knows he can. In the meantime, I know that prying just feels overbearing to him. So I take his answer of ‘managing.’ Even though I know it’s probably the whole story.

“That’s good, I’m glad,” I tell him, trying to look past his avoidance. “Hey, listen. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. I’m sorry we haven’t talked in the past few weeks. Things have just been really- I don’t know… crazy.”

“Don’t worry about it; I’m sure being an Avenger doesn’t leave much room in your schedule for phone dates,” the man laughs it off. “What’s been going on?”

“Well- god. I don’t even know where to start,” I groan as I run a hand over my face. “Our last big mission was to Seoul. We raided another Hydra base, took down a lot of big guys.” Bucky hums in approval at this. “We also rescued several prisoners. The usual; people Hydra had used to-… people they had trained.” I know that Bucky can handle the words I’m saying to him; I’ve said them to him many times before. It just always feels hard to talk about these things with him, knowing what he went through. “And we… we found one prisoner in particular. A little girl. And she was… in really bad shape.” Bucky is quiet, patiently waiting as I try to pull myself together. “We were able to find out a lot about her on the ship. She’s five, had lived with Hydra her whole life. She has a special set of healing powers they were particularly interested in.”

“Steve,” Bucky interrupts quietly, signaling that the recognition must have hit him sooner than I thought it might. “Oh my god. Are you… are you talking about the girl?”

“We call her Willa now,” I breathe, smiling through the tears that’ve built up in my eyes. “We figured it was only right to give her a name. She’s been with us ever since we rescued her weeks ago. As soon as I found her, I- I knew she belonged with us. With me. I took over guardianship, Buck,” I reveal, relieved to finally be getting this all off of my chest.

“Willa,” he repeats the name after me, the love and emotion audible in his voice. “You found her; I can’t believe it. I thought I’d never see her again,” he can be heard shaking his head through the phone. “She’s one of the only memories I have of being with Hydra but still being myself. I used to sneak in and bandage her up whenever I could. Then one day, I- I don’t know. The Winter Soldier took over for good… I never saw her again.” Bucky sighs, the feelings all of this is bringing for the both of us lingering heavily in the silent air. “That little girl… I can’t believe it,” he repeats himself. “I still dream of her all the time. Those big green eyes; I could never forget them.”

“She loved you, Buck,” I whisper, a lump forming in my throat.

“Loved me?” he asks incredulously. “Why do you think that?”

“She told me,” I tell him. “But when the Winter Soldier came, things changed. Do you remember what happened with her?”

“No,” he admits coldly. “I think that’s one of the few memories that’s too painful for my brain to let me access. Can I- Steve, can I see her? I want to see her. I know she’s probably scared of me; I-I can’t imagine what she must’ve thought when suddenly I turned into a monster, but I have to see her. Please, Steve. Now that she’s safe, now that you’re taking care of her. It’s like… it’s like it’s fate.”

“She’s- Bucky,” I try, “she’s terrified of you.” At my painful words, I can almost hear my friend’s heart breaking straight down the middle. Bucky takes a deep breath, not saying anything for a moment.

“Then I have to fix it,” are his words after a long pause, his voice much smaller now. I sigh, unsure of what to do or say. I know that Willa’s experience with the Winter Soldier was undoubtedly traumatic. She hasn’t explained what exactly went down, but I know enough about Bucky’s darker persona to conclude that whatever took place must’ve scared the life out of her. But at the same time, I come back to the same thought that always prevails when thinking about what happened to my friend: it wasn’t his fault. He deserves redemption in every area of his life; I truly believe that. I always will. And if he wants to amend things with Willa, I don’t feel it would be right to stop him from doing so. Especially given how passionate he seems about this.

“Okay Buck,” I give in. “You can come see her. I need to talk to her first, but how about you stop by later today? Not much is going on at the tower.”

“Thank you, Steve. Thank you,” the man replies, his relief evident in his voice. “I’ll see you later, okay? Thank you,” he says again.

“Sure thing, pal,” I respond, and the line goes dead. Taking a deep breath, I do my best to brace myself for the day. Hopefully I haven’t gotten myself into anything too deep to dig back out of.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I greet Willa as I walk into the kitchen, spotting her sat at the table with a yellow sippy-cup of what appears to be juice in front of her.

“Sun-shine,” she repeats, causing me to smile at her warmly. Peter must’ve helped her get ready today; I can tell due to her hair being brushed out nicely, something that he’s started to do for her, which everyone’s found to be nothing short of adorable. Every morning, the pair have their little routine, the cheerful boy always so eager to help his friend in any way he can, even if it means turning into her own personal stylist.

“Hey, we’re matching,” I point out, nodding to the child’s white plaid flannel before motioning to my own blue one. Willa grins as I make my way over to her, sitting down in the chair to her left.

“Matching,” she echoes, pointing to her shirt, then mine.

“Maybe we’ll have to take a picture after breakfast.” The little girl picks up her cup and takes a sip, nodding. “How are you feeling?” I ask gently.

“Tired,” she replies simply.

“Yeah? You, Peter, and Thor were up a little late last night, huh?” I ask teasingly. After everything went down following the meeting, Peter decided he and Willa should have a movie night. Somehow, Thor joined in; I must admit, I was rather impressed with how brave the Willa was to hang out with the god. He was intent on watching horror movies, but Peter and I convinced him that something more age-appropriate needed to be chosen, so after much deliberation, they all settled on Disney movies.

“Mo-a-na,” Willa sounds out happily in response. “Willa liked it!”

“I’m glad, sweetie,” I tell her with a smile, “I’m sure you did.” Then, a thought pops into my head. Bruce and I have talked about it a few times, but I’ve never followed up with Willa until now about it. “Hey doll?” I ask. “You know how you just said 'Willa liked it’?” The girl nods. “How come you talk about yourself using your name? Why not use the words 'I,’ or 'me’?”

The child thinks for a few moments, appearing to be formulating an answer to the question carefully. “Willa was… Girl, before,” she tells me. I nod, not exactly seeing where this is going. “They called her that. Didn’t want her to have a name. D-didn’t…” She thinks harder, unable to find the correct words to say.

Turning a bit more to face the sweet girl, I reach out, rubbing up and down along her arm soothingly. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” I encourage. “I think I see what you’re saying. They called you the girl because they didn’t want you to have a name, like an identity?”

“I-den-ti-ty,” she ponders; then, she nods. “Not a person,” she continues. “Just… powers. Girl didn’t matter.” I grow saddened as she says this, now fairly certain I know what she’s trying to convey.

“So, you didn’t talk about yourself like a person because they didn’t want you to?” The girl nods again. “Well, you never have to think that way again, doll. You are a person, with a name and everything; no one here will get you in trouble for talking like one,” I point out. “So, you could use those words if you wanted to.”

“Is… am… a-allowed to?” Willa asks, struggling between the two points of view.

“Of course you are,” I smile kindly, making sure to look her in the eyes so she knows I mean it.

The child nods, blinking several times and taking a deep breath in as she appears to be preparing to say something. “I-I-” her voice falters and she flinches, a moment of fear striking her. Soon, though, it passes, and she bravely opens her mouth again, stuttering, “-I-I-… I’m Willa.”

“That’s right; way to go, sweetheart,” I cheer, wrapping my arms around the little girl and lifting her up onto my lap. She snuggles into me close as I stroke up and down her back, overcome with pride.

“I-I’m Willa. That’s Steve,” she says a bit more confidently, poking my chest.

“You know it, kiddo,” I affirm, giving her a little squeeze.

“I-I love Steve,” she mumbles, her voice suddenly so soft I have to lean down a bit to hear it. Her words melt my heart, causing me to bend and plant a kiss on the top of her head.

“I love you too, doll. I’m so proud of you.”

“P'oud,” she repeats, her voice cracking a little as she begins to smile. “P-p'oud of me.”

“I sure am,” I grin, opening my mouth to say more, but before I can go any further, the elevator dings and Tony Stark’s loud voice can be heard as the doors slide open. Turning over, I look to see that he’s with a person- or, wait. Is that a person? My eyes widen in shock.

“Bruce isn’t gonna believe this. I mean, I can’t really believe this, still. And you’re like- right in front of me,” Tony enthuses to the… thing. It looks like a person. Its body is shaped like a person. Similar height to Tony, similar build, too. It’s wearing clothes. But… its skin is red. And… there’s a glowing yellow spot on its forehead.

“Well, I can assure you, I am real, sir,” the form responds, and the minute I hear the familiar voice of Jarvis, everything comes together. At least… kind of.

“Hey you two,” Tony greets Willa and I, a hint of uneasiness still in his tone from the events of yesterday. “I’d like you to meet someone. This,” he motions, “is Vision. Well, it’s really Jarvis. But… now Jarvis has a body. And… is kind of an entirely new person. As in… he’s literally a person. So, yeah. Decided a new name would do nicely,” he rambles. The being - or, Vision, - greets us with a nod.

“Captain. Willa. It’s nice to… meet you,” the strange creature says. “My consciousness has been transferred to a physical form through the work of Mr. Stark, along with the help of Dr. Helen Cho.”

“This is weird,” I blurt.

“Yeah… I’m hoping the weirdness will go away with time. Have you seen Bruce?” Tony asks, waving off my comment.

“I think he went out somewhere,” I respond, still eyeing the red man stood beside the scientist.

“Alright. Hey Vis, let’s go scare the shit out of Peter,” Tony muses.

“I’m not sure if that’s the wisest idea, sir. Mr. Parker is currently asleep,” Vision warns.

“Oh good, even better,” Tony cheers, and before anyone can say anything more, they’ve disappeared down the hallway.

Sighing, I turn my attention back to the little girl down in my lap, who’s now staring off in the direction in which the two men disappeared. “Vision,” she says aloud incredulously.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I agree with her. “Tony’s talked before about creating human forms for his AI’s, but I never thought-… though, I guess that was my mistake. You can never write anything off if Tony’s involved,” I admit.

“It’s… a guy?” the child asks innocently.

“Well, not exactly,” I chuckle, unsure of how I’m gonna explain this one. “It’s a… computer Tony made. It just looks like a human.”

Willa’s eyebrows furrow in concern, but she says nothing more about it, seeming just as perplexed as I am.

“Hey sweetie?” I ask, shifting slightly in the chair uneasily. Willa looks up at me, her green eyes locking with mine. “I need to tell you something, okay?” The girl nods, a flash of hesitancy appearing on her face, but soon dissolving. “Remember yesterday when we talked downstairs with Bruce, and you told us you used to love someone named Bucky?” Willa nods again, wariness growing in her eyes. “Well, sweetheart… I’ve known Bucky for a really long time, as well. We actually grew up together, way back before I went in the ice. And I-… I loved him, too, honey. I still love him, very much. He’s my friend.” At this, I can feel Willa’s whole body beginning to tense, almost as if she can sense what I’m about to tell her.

“Bucky had a really bad experience with Hydra, just like you. They hurt him a lot, and he didn’t ever want to hurt you. It’s a long story, and I can tell you all about it if you’re interested, but what I’m trying to say is… I talked with him this morning. He remembered you, and he asked if he could see you again. He’s coming over later today, doll. He just wants to make things right with you.”

At this, Willa’s face drops, and tears begin trailing down her cheeks so quickly that it catches me by surprise. My heart breaks as violent sobs start flashing through her body, the poor thing beginning to plead, “Please, please- don’t bring him here to hurt me.”

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#faad #faad: he's my friend #eun's writing #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers series #steve rogers au #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #hurt/comfort #steve rogers x child!oc #dad!steve rogers #the avengers #avengers fanfiction #mcu #mcu fanfiction #captain america #captain america fanfiction

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homeofrodeoapplejack · 1 year

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What's Coming Up?

OOC//

Hi guys! I dunno how many people actually read this blog HOWEVER here's a bit of an update.

It's been a few weeks since the last Reins update. If you follow me on Twitter, you'd know that I had to take a break from like... EVERYTHING because college was kicking my ass, and then I had family over during the break and I've just been trying to feel like a person again.

College starts back up for me again on Tuesday (I don't have classes on Monday) and strangely my motivation to write came back with it. I've just hit 100k words on the Reins document which is crazy, and I'm trying to finish up this chapter so I have two ready to post. I'm excited that we're finally moving forward in the story after sixty thousand words (yes, sixty thousand) of Applejack being either in a hospital or in a rehab centre.

What have I been writing? Lots of dialogue, lots of Applejack being angry, lots of Applejack being kind of sad and pensive, and... Some arguing. Typical Reins stuff.

There are horse things, there are family things, there are Strawberry things, there are Thistle things...

Sometimes, I feel like this story kind of has a mind of its own. Despite me having most things at least roughly planned out, there's a lot of blank space that I kind of just fill in as I'm writing it and sometimes the story surprises even me.

This day in the Reins universe has kind of been dragging on for multiple chapters, but it's kind of a big thing. I actually really like how this part of the story has been working out. I don't think it's my strongest writing, not at all, but I think it's something that's been getting put down in a way I'm happy with.

Sometimes I find it hard to feel confident in my writing, but sometimes I have people tell me they like the story and that really helps. So to those of you leaving me nice comments or even messaging me and saying you like the story, I want to give you thanks. I don't think I would have ever gotten this far in the story without you. To those of you who sent in questions to this blog, thanks as well. Hopefully, when I get back to more regular uploads I'll have more to put on this blog.

In terms of art, I have been extremely burnt out. I haven't been drawing almost anything. I did start drawing a bunch of busts of Reins characters for fun and just for me to have someplace to look at 'em for reference. Maybe I'll post that. Is that something that might interest anybody? Or maybe just even tell me what character you wanna see and I'll draw them. I know I've drawn some, but there is definitely a lot I've neglected.

There are some things in my personal life I'm trying to deal with. Falling back into bad habits isn't great, but it's something that I've been going through. It makes it hard to want to do anything but luckily Reins is something I love and that I actually enjoy doing. That's why I'm so thankful that people are enjoying it. It's not a huge smash hit on FimFiction, but that's okay. It's like our little corner of the site. A little secret place.

I'll hopefully have something to post on the site soon in terms of the next chapter. Like I said before, I have the next one done, I just want to have two done. So I guess I do have something to post, but you know what I mean.

For those of you who like to make roll credits jokes, I did accidentally write the words "letting go of the reins" in the narration. I thought it was funny. I kept it. You'll see. Maybe even chuckle. Point a finger and go "haha title drop".

Anyway, I'm sorry for my absence. For those of you that I was having a conversation with that I suddenly disappeared from, I'm sorry. If you still want to talk feel free to hit me up again I just forgot how to talk to people, to be honest.

More content soon. I promise. If there's anything you'd like to see or hear about, you know the drill.

#OOC #mod post #update

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trulyjulisblog · 1 year

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March 5, 2023

Hi, if you're reading this, I just want to apologize in advance for wasting your time. I have absolutely no idea how any of this works or if I'll even continue doing... whatever this is, but I made a big promise. An enormous, terrifying, kind-of-stupid promise to myself. You see, for five years now, I lost myself to the robotic rhythm of life. I woke up, went to school, stressed over A+ grades, became an adult, worked 9 to 5 part-time, and became more and more obsessed with achieving that "perfect life" everyone talks about. It was like, one random day, I snapped out of a fantasy and into reality. My fifteen-year-old self was left behind in the dust, screaming at me to come back. But I couldn't, I wouldn't, I shouldn't. I had to blend in with the crowd, follow what everyone else did, and become the successful daughter people hoped of me. The fire inside my heart had been smothered, and I felt zombie-like. I didn't recognize my face in the mirror. I barely enjoyed living. Somewhere back in time, I lost the ability to love.

To care.

But I think I'm back now...? I'm not sure. I'm still trying to regain my awareness, floating endlessly in a muddled sea. My soul has been longing for what I neglected five years ago, when I used to write pages upon pages of fantastical, imaginary worlds, staying awake past midnight with only the gentle click clack noises of my keyboard keeping me company. I miss sitting in front of my old piano, fingers spread across the white and black keys, a tangle of melodies and lyrics coming to life inside my head. I can't even remember when I last grabbed a pencil and paper, tracing lines and shapes until they became real-world reflections of my forgotten memories. I'm sure I sound crazy or probably don't make any sense.

But to those who understand, I'm sorry. I'm here. You're not alone.

I'm being a big girl and taking the first few steps in rekindling my creativity using this blog. I have dreams I want to accomplish, even if my fingertips fail to grasp them. I want to write a book, create a song, draw a painting, and literally everything else!

I want to be myself again. But don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy. I'm very grateful for my life. I'm the luckiest person in the world.

I just miss, well, me. And no one can help me except, well, me. So, even if no one ever reads this, or if you've already scrolled past this nonsense (which I get), thank you for ensuring I don't break my big, enormous, terrifying, kind-of-stupid, and very important promise.

— Juli 🐢

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fragilewiththefountain · 11 months

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Oregon

I've made my decision. I don't really know why even. I just want to collapse and not think anymore. I can't even be upset or stiff or cryptic like in my last posts, I don't have the fucking energy!

At least the trees are the same here, except the way the light bounces off them is different. Funny how I notice that. We've already moved in and Dad's already back and the library :/ At least he comes home every night now. Sometimes I WISH it was an affair or something -- not that that matters anymore -- but I think he's just crazy and actually does just go to the library. Crazy old dad.

He still cares for me at least. He got me a therapist, and she's alright. She wants me to be "more open with myself" which doesn't make sense because I have a whole blog... But I don't mind it. Her suggestion was to film some places around me, create a little video diary. If Dad keeps neglecting me like this, I might :-)

Weirdly, some new life has been breathed into me. Sorry for the emotional rollercoaster.

#new home

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susantbraithwaite · 1 year

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My Unexpected Six-Month Break

Hi there!

Thanks for coming back to the blog after my unexpected six-month break. It’s crazy to think it’s been that long since my last writing-related post!

So, you’re probably wondering what the hell happened. Especially after everything was going so well. A quick recap of what was going so great: I’d finished writing Running the Asset way ahead of schedule, racking up insane daily word counts, and then I decided to dive straight into the editing stage.

Yeah, you’ve probably guessed what happened. If you followed my daily updates, you could probably see it coming.

Me, nope… well… even if I did, I ignored it.

The Dreaded Burnout

Until I burnt out hard, even though I didn’t want to admit it at the time. I’d pushed myself so hard during the final stretch of writing and editing that my body gave out. I had a major Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) flare-up that made it impossible for me to even look at my planner, let alone do any work. But, eventually, the flare-up subsided…

But I still couldn’t get the work done. No matter how the guilt of not getting any writing done ate at me, I couldn’t make myself write. Instead, I sank all my energies (the same level of energy I’d put into finishing the manuscript early) into the household things I’d put off or ignored when I’d been focused on writing. I was convinced that once I’d caught up on all the household chores I’d been neglecting, I’d be itching to get back to work.

But that didn’t exactly go according to plan.

The Worst Flu Ever and Etsy

My body had other ideas… enter the flu. I’d never felt so terrible in my life as I did during that bout of the flu. I decided that the best way to get better, faster, was to keep myself occupied for the month I was sick. I’ve always enjoyed using Canva (a graphic design app from Australia), so I played around with that… and might have gone a bit daft with it.

My Timing Sucks!

As much as I enjoyed working on the shop, my characters were calling to me.

I’d ask Siri to play music, and then bam, songs from the soundtrack to Running the Asset would fill the room. Teasing me. (Yes, I’ve got a soundtrack for the book. And, yes, it’s fucking awesome—if you love hard rock, metal, and a wee dash of alternative rock.) Or, I’d be looking for some lost notebook and find Adam’s character sheet staring back at me.

That was it.

I was finally mentally ready to get back to work.

I’d had enough time away from the story.

That’s what I’d needed, wasn’t it?

It was great. For the first time in years, I could leave work behind and focus on enjoying the scenery and the sound of the waves lapping the shore as we walked for miles each day.

The Worstestest Flu Ever

And then, just as I thought things were finally turning around, I got hit with the flu again. This time it was the kind that made that ‘worst flu ever’ seem like a mild cold. I lost all sense of smell and taste, and my hearing went with them. No amount of testing said that it was COVID, but I’ve avoided being near others.

I’m happy to report that I’m on my way out of it now. I can taste things with a strong flavour, and if something is shoved under my nose, I can smell it in one nostril, and my hearing is starting to clear up.

The Break is Over. I'm Ready!

During this time, I’ve come to believe the universe was telling me to slow down and take a physical break. That just changing where I unleash my crazy laser focus isn’t how to take a rest. So, instead of diving into a full schedule of rewrites and edits, I’m easing back into working on Running the Asset--allowing myself a bit longer to get each stage done and taking days off to physically and mentally relax and recharge.

Thank You

I’m going to end this post with a big thank you for your messages asking how I was while I was AWOL. They really meant a lot, and hopefully, I’ve responded to you all personally by now, but if I haven’t (I’m sorry), thank you for your messages.

I’ll be back with a new post on Monday. Remember to hit the follow button to get updates and to see my posts in your Reader feed.

Until then, have a great day! Susan.

This blog was originally posted on https://susantbraithwaite.com/2023/01/04/my-unexpected-break/

#burnout #crps #kirkcaldy #running the asset

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mindyoboboabuisness · 2 years

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I guess I don’t really know what to write. Nor how to even use this thing. I literally googled “collage,” and then “blog,” for two different purposes and then came across Tumblr. Seems pretty cool so far. I don’t think it’s what I’m looking for exactly. But I’m going to go with it. I deleted my social media accounts. My blogging on there soon turned to drama that I could never seem to get away from no matter how hard I tried to look away. I honestly just want a writing place I can just talk and freely. To no one really. Except the sorry soul that comes across my writings. The blessings of this: I don’t have to add anyone and you’d have to try pretty hard to find me so hey. I guess it’s a win-win for someone who wants to talk straight into the world. But to not directly anyone yet to everyone

Okay and as I’m writing this I do remember coming across tumblr in my day. Though, I didn’t know it at the time. I had been dating someone and she uses Tumblr. Well then I didn’t know what it was and the logo or something looks different but I remember a post that said this “my girlfriend broke up with me again today.” And I had remembered seeing a notification and clicking on it and then quickly shutting it once I saw that she was talking about it. I was mortified at the time. Because I thought she was publicly speaking on it. Well I mean she was. But now that I see what tumblr is, I’m not sure if I’m more hurt I didn’t know about it and apart of hers, or If I’m more hurt it was public. Whatever tho. Right. That’s just another mark I have. Another scar. Let’s just add it into the MANY reasons I wanted to start a blog.

One- to speak my freaking mind- to get out of my mind

Whether that be me “being crazy,” and totally ranting and writing for all or none to see/read

I just want to write every single day and just about anything. Mainly right now my topics of motivation are of exs and being triggered. Closure- or lack there of. — the word hate- yet learning forgiveness- not in others but within myself. Lies- manipulating- on all parties. Self love and self neglect.

How I’ve spent five years of life into one small year. Time a time machine took be forward and back and twice more. So much has happened it’s unbelievable and I’ll never know where to begin when I write. I know for certain I’ll trail off. I’ll rant. I’ll go in circles. I’ll vent. Sound selfish. I’ll be selfish. Caring. Angry. I’m going to be so many things on this site because all I want to do is sit and write. Every day it’s to write. If it’s not head phones on my head. Drinking an iced coffee. Taking care of my kids and animals then all I want to do is lay in a field and write. And that’s what I spend most my days doing. Usually it’s with pen and paper and in my Journals. But I’m over that. I’m over talking to myself over and over again with my shit and feeling unheard. Feeling like I haven’t changed or made a difference with my writings. Not that, that is my main goal here—- because my main goal with my writing to oblivion is to find healing. But with writing I may be able to make that change or have someone relate to me in some way or feel maybe I’ll be heard or like I can go back and look on things. To see if I sound the same when I speak. To see the growth. See my patterns. My triggers. I tend to want to write the most when I’m frustrated. I’ve lost my interest a couple years ago in my creative writing . I lost it during the same time as the above mentioned person wrote on tumblr. Now that’s just ironic. That has nothing to do with why. Our relationship did, however. The misery i put myself in. The lies I allowed. Told. Did. And lies I received and blinded by her reality and manipulating me. Breaking me down to build me up to leave me. To have their own mother against me. To try and justify her pains and hurts done by her. Finding ways to throw the past in my face like it dictates my future or who I truly am as a person

You know a person when you lay in bed with them. Just just know them. You can’t fake something with someone in the bedroom. You can’t fake the look in someone’s eyes . You can’t fake a chemistry. You can’t fake sparks. But what you can fake is the definition of your love , loyalty , sparks or whatever makes you happy. You can’t fake the truth or the toxicity of yourself. You can mask it. Bandaid it. Sugar coat it. And best sell it. Love bombing as you will. Oh how I have been love bombed so many times in my day.

It’s why I’m sitting here writing this entirely way to long of a post about bs. Cuz it’s clear I’m still not over it. I never will be. Truly. I know my soul. And I think it’ll take me until later in life before I can wrap my head around this or accept it or understand it. And quite frankly forgive it. It’s why I mentioned above the words hate. Because I don’t like to use that word. At all. It’s so strong. But there’s a few strong individuals that I hate. I just do. And that’s where the forgiveness comes into play. Not the. But me. For my mistakes. My lies. My parts. Not theres. We all do things for reasons that make sense to us. Regardless if it does to someone else and regardless if it hurts them. Some ppl doing because they’re selfish and don’t want to hurt the other person but it’s truly only about their guilt. They don’t want to hurt the other person because of how they feel not how it makes the other person feel. What I’m talking about is when ppl hurt others or lie to protect them . It’s completely different. Yet that doesn’t make it right.

I’ll get more into depth with all of this later in my blogs I’m sure because like I said I’m not over any of it. I still hurt daily and obsess . It isn’t healthy at all. And we’ll therapy tells me that. Okay I get it. But how do you get over something you want your side heard so bad. But that side doesn’t matter no matter what

Because for one. This person had been wanting to end it for so long that I just didn’t let her. I never did. I wouldn’t accept when she’d end it so many times. She’d want out all the time but I was so selfish I begged her to stay. I mistaked a desperation to be loved as love. She didn’t know what true love was or how to properly love someone. She’s never been shown a healthy relationship by her parents nor has she been in one. And neither have I. I have no healthy one to base it off of. But because she was outwardly nice I took it as true love and acceptance when all along she’s the worse of them all. The darkest of all the snakes

I opened up and told some of my deepest things and was honest to my own fault. To my own fault. Even to my own self destructive behaviors. Feeling helpless lost and worthless without the other person. It’s funny how two toxic ppl can come together and bring out the worst in you. Or the best right . Because when it’s good it’s good. What sucks tho… is when you’re so raw but they’re so fake. Fake about everything except in that bedroom or the way they lay with you. And make you feel safe. When you lay on that persons chest and hear that heart beat. It’s real. It’s just scary to know what’s in the mind. Action and words don’t add up to what’s in that bedroom or in your ear as you lay on that chest

It fools you. It blinds you. It makes you trust too easily. Too quickly and even to the wrong ones. Even to the ones you thought were different. But are actually worse because they use ammo against you to get back at you in any form they can and then you do it too. It’s just a vicious game. Hurt ppl hurt ppl. And most relationships that are messy are because of how much passion is there or hate. Or both. Can’t have one without the other right ?

Still a year later and I want to go and track her down and try and explain my side but what’s it even matter. A narrative has already been made. Diluted. ran with. And I have to stay quiet and not say too much in the sake of saving my entire dignity , name, life and I have others to think about. Ppl try to use “withholding,” information as lies. Yet when you tell them all the truth it backfires just as hard anyhow. You lose either way so I say go along with whatever story and narrative you want and you owe it to NO ONE to tell your truth to. Not even someone you lay in bed with. Because they snake you. Fake you. Lie. Cheat and justify. So to owe it to them to tell them things that happened decade before y’all knew each other or how it changed your life narrative isn’t up to them to judge or discriminate. Especially when you told them all the info that was needed to be told. And no one is the judge on how much truth should be told. To anyone. No matter the circumstances. Especially if your life could change depending on it. And especially if you haven’t been with the person for at least a few years. I’m saying that because speaking from experience I told someone right away my shit and I got left. So the next time I told 100 percent everything to except one thing that I left out and kept and was going to wait until my heart told me it’s time they deserve to know. That my heart was ready to accept the fate of withholding things. It’s my life. My mistakes. Ppl come and ppl go. And no love partner deserves to know anymore then they tell you regardless if they look at as mistrust or lies or manipulating. It isn’t. It’s simply telling you one thing and never filling in the blanks and letting whatever the system say let it say.

I knew one day I’d be confronted because I decided early on this was a woman I wasn’t going to tell. But like everything in life, it comes up. One way or another . I would of preferred a little more loyalty before I had decided I wanted to tell her. She would of been the first. I got that close to trusting someone. But of course she found out in her own little toxic delusional way. And ran with it. Got the information and narrative she needed and ran with it. And by golly I found out my reputation and record is worse then I ever knew. Yep that’s how that works. A little investigation on myself . Oh the irony of my names and having two of me and good ol trina. Like for real. Good times. I’m baffled at the daftness of it all. But still pained. By the betrayer. The one person I trusted finally in my life to the point I let them meet my family . That’s a first.

And just isn’t worth ignoring that intuition. I’m glad I never ever let someone meet my family before because now this person is a poster child of self absorbency and lies and manipulating ppl. And being so selfish to complain in a state you’re visiting someone’s family. All the red flags of selfishness is just really making me angry most days

But it’s because I’m angry with myself . I’m angry I wasn’t all the way truthful at first. Told her it all upfront. Because it would of been accepted. She would of accepted me. She wouldn’t of left me for any of it. Tho her angle at the end is to try and use that all and say I built a web of lies or tried using her. Saying I didn’t love her I only used her. Tho I have all of my own my money. House. Car etc. that woman didn’t provide me anything to use. Not even emotionally. I fought for her attention I didn’t use her. It hurts to be told that. After hours of crying and in pain over her and her self absorption and her life goals and her mom. Yet she only took my toxicity and ran with it and used it against in. In every form. Even my own mental illness. When she’s the definition of mentally ill. Tho In extreme in denial and legit denies any medical diagnosis or help. It’s truly sad because I don’t think she’s truly going to ever comprehend what the gravity of her actions have caused mentally for ppl. Not just one but many

And all over what? Because you believe I withheld or lied bout my career or this or that or this or that. Yet you already had your mind up and met someone prior . Knew I cried for you like a child. Like a baby I cried while this person was on deployment while their mom text me daily telling me to leave their daughter alone and give her space and that it’ll be okay. All mean while filling her daughters head with more ammo. Her and the A girl I’ll call her, to go and look me up. Do it prior to dating someone not during especially when a person has already told you everything you need to know

Nothing that happened prior to me meeting you doesn’t matter. What matters is our relationship and to be told I was a bad person or treated someone badly hurts because I live my life to make my partners happy. And that’s been my whole problem. If they’re crying or upset or anything in their life, they absolutely come first . My relationship expectations were diluted but as a person I was so incredibly kind and uplifting. Supportive and wanted the best. Would of gone broke to uplift them and their life in any way. Even if that meant putting their job/family first.

Someone nearing 30 years old that plays mind games is so scary because one thing I I didn’t do with her was play mind games. I got drunk . I got stupid but I was honest. I put out my boundaries and expectations and never veered. I just got crazier as the years went on and unmediated and not getting the therapy I needed for my brain and life. But now that I’ve had a year of sobriety and a year of mental health treatment I can say im thinking clearly. Tho im still burying a lot of wounds

Wounds I thought I could bounce back from. But this time it’s just a little harder. I was delusional and truly thought when she got back from deployment we’d start a life together a real one and one day she’d be my wife and she’d know everything and we’d learn and cope together. Not against each other. I never imagined out of anyone in my life that I ever came across that this person would be a wolf in sheeps clothing. True definition in all its forms.

It’s scary how they mold to who they’re around. How they flip a switch on and off as quickly as they do. Within one week you’re they’re everything to absolutely nothing like you’re trash

Though you told them everything right

I mistaked telling someone my all in bed, for love and trust . Which it wasn’t . It was vulnerability and manipulating. It’s amazing what ppl do to “feel good.” Until the next person comes along

The grass is never greener. And I know that now. I know that because I use to think it was the person that made me unhappy or that I found my true love

And that’s not true. I found someone I could love easier and healthier doesn’t mean it was love or real. Just means I was capable and I’m still trying to learn from it

Though every day I have so many triggers of her and us and that relationship that it hurts something deep

But I know it’s not her I hurt over. It’s what I’ve done . It’s what’s inside of me. My guilt and mistakes my shame and my wanting to better and never live that life nor never make someone feel how I’ve made her or anyone else feel. It’s about loyalty to myself. Honesty to myself and happiness without. Love within. And then to others. I never truly loved her. I just tried to love myself through her.

I will heal. Even if it’s ten years from now

I have so many other hurts prior and after this particular situation that I’m navigation and making apart of my recovery but life doesn’t sit still .

As much as I love writing and hurt over it I still spend most my days busier then I’d ever like them. Everything I do is a full time job. I don’t complain but I am exhausted so I don’t have time to process or think. And when I do—- I realize I’m still stuck back a year ago when it comes to emotions

So I’m tucking it away and I’ll just keep writing until it’s out of my system and I can say the words I don’t care and actually mean them

Because right now I do and that’s the problem . That isn’t fair to me. And that isn’t fair the current life I built for myself in this last year. And back with the one person who’s never failed me in my life. That knows more than anything yet here he is. And that will bring me to end this blog post because talking about him deserves a whole post in itself. And a million more after that

There’s never enough words to ever describe or talk about my hardworking, faithful , loving man. I love Gilbert with the true definition of love and selflessness. For better or for worse is truly real and I’m so blessed God opened my soul to see the ability of love im able to give and be loyal and open. And care about someone on a level deeper then sex and truly comprehend that sex isn’t needed to be in pure joy and happiness. In its rawest form.

When you’re left with nothing but two options- life or death- you literally see life differently and nothing matters like what other petty ppl think. You can’t let it go because your focus is the main goal. Life. Living. Simple As that. And that’s what a terminal illness does. It shows you what’s important. That’s your partner and your family. Nothing else. Because you might not wake up tomorrow. The grass isnt greener. Nurture what you have. Respect and learn with what you have. Because otherwise years will pass and so will multiple partners before you finally realize . Or you won’t ever. But will you truly be able to find pure happiness out of the small things in life and be more then a pessimist?

Can you look at a sunset and scream it and get pure joy from it? I know I do. I always have. But now I look at clouds and their beauty to me is even more beautiful then a sunset and that’s because of their own stories they tell and how each one is just as different as we are people.

Anyways it’s late. And I should go to sleep. Well I should say at least try to —- considering my little Goldie baby boy is snoring away like a grown man child that’s human. I have to preface that because he’s a dog hahahahah he shouldn’t be snoring this loudly hahaha

Love all of you (who are you? I dunno—- but I love you) xoxoox Oxo

#TeamBon

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qyllenhaal · 2 years

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Good Wives Club [9]

Lee Bodecker x Reader. 3rd POV. Word Count: 7.3k

Spin-off to American Pie

Chapter Eight ✾ Chapter Ten

Summary: It’s been more than a year since she’s escaped the ghost of her past but life is never fair to a girl like her. Lee doesn’t care that she has a husband, a nice house, and sugary fake friends, he wants what’s rightfully his.

Content (this chapter): Infidelity, toxic relationships, mentions of loss, mentions of neglect, angst, smut, oral, unprotected sex, cumshot. MINORS, AGELESS BLOGS, AND BLANK BLOGS DNI, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates! I was taking a break from writing in January then I broke my laptop and had to get it fixed. Everything is fine now but I had to catch up on some other things before I could get back to this series! I look forward to continuing it, and maybe even extending it...

"She's leaving him. There is no other way to put it besides that. No woman who isn't fed up goes back home to her parents house! Especially not a grown woman!"

“Florence wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave him. He’s the sheriff, he makes good money, and he has her in that nice, big house. All she ever did was talk about wanting kids and if she leaves Lee…well…then she can throw that dream away.”

Susie felt frozen as she held the box of noodles in her hand. So much idle gossip she has heard in her years of being a married woman in Brewer Heights (and so much that she has participated in herself), and it was hard to hear about someone she is close to being on the receiving end of it. She wants to stick up for Florence, she really does. She wants to tell off the two older women who stand at the aisle, blocking the way for others, that they don’t know what they’re talking about and should keep their mouths shut. But, they’re not wrong.

There is no telling how the rumor got out this time, but it should not be that surprising to see how people are always watching. Everyone has nosy neighbors. Susie tried to remind Florence of that when she brought up the possibility of Lee cheating again. Unless he was picking up some whore outside of the county, then he wouldn’t be able to get away with cheating on her with a woman in Brewer Heights. She tried to remind her friend of this, constantly giving Florence the validation she needs, but it did not help her paranoid friend.

In the meantime, while dealing with Florence, Susie could feel a drift between her and the other women she would consider friends. Her main loyalty is to Florence, but she feels like she’s going to go crazy constantly having to talk to Florence every night and affirm her feelings that Lee loves her. It’s not Susie’s job, but she feels obligated to do so.

The two women clear the aisle, but Susie is still bothered by the gossip as if it was about her. She’s worried about Florence and her reputation around town. She’s not exactly genuinely loved by everyone in town, but she is respected and that’s important. It’s been a day since she has talked to Florence who is staying with her parents. How those women found out Florence was there is beyond her, but it’s not the important issue at hand.

Terry was busy with a sick child, and Beth seemed to be dodging her calls. Susie ran down the list of so-called friends of hers to call before she got to Y/n. It’s been a while since she has talked to Y/n. She heard about the passing of her mother-in-law through Florence and decided it was best to give her space, but she feels like enough time has passed. She selfishly disregards however Y/n may be feeling and gives her a call. Much to her surprise, Y/n seemed eager to meet up with her. She was the one to suggest that she come over to Susie’s while their husbands were both at work. It made Susie breathe easier about her intentions being a little bit murky.

“I’m glad you could come. Did Lou drop you off before heading to work.”

“Yea,” Y/n didn’t look her in the eye as she lied. Lou was not going to work today. Instead he had a newish hire supervising for the week. If Susie had paid attention she would see that there aren’t any fresh tire marks in the light snow in the driveway, but footprints instead.

“Have you talked to Florence lately?”

“No. Why?”

It’s been a while since she has seen Florence in person. Florence did call to check up on her after the funeral but that’s it. She has seen Lee more than she has Florence, but even then it’s been a week since she saw him. Guilt bubbles up inside of her at the mention of Florence’s name. It was easy to force herself to forget about the lady when she wasn’t being strong-armed to hangout or go to some store with her.

Susie was hesitant to tell Florence’s business, but it was just Y/n. There is no reason for the blonde to believe that the young girl in front of her would go around telling Florence’s business. And right now she is the only person who will listen to her.

“Well, Florence has gone to stay with her parents for some time. They live near Cleveland so she’s not that far away.”

“What? Why?” The panic in Y/n’s voice was interrupted as concern to Susie.

“I don’t know, I guess her and Lee are having problems. She never talks to me in a coherent sentence whenever she brings it up. I don’t think she’s drinking, she’s never been one to have more than a glass of wine. However, when she gets to talking about her marriage she sounds like she’s been drinking the same shit Lee used to years ago. She goes on these long paranoid rants talking about Lee cheating on her. She’s accusin’ her close friends of eyeing Lee up. She even suggested that he has a secret family. I don’t know what she’s getting at or where she’s comin’ up with this shit but she calls me almost every night talking about it and asking me about Lee! I don’t know what to tell her! I have nothing to tell her!”

Y/n has never seen Susie so stressed. She always took what Florence dished at her, but the façade was beginning to crack. She looked worn thin by the current state of her friendship with Florence. Y/n felt so bad because this is inexplicitly. Florence isn’t wrong, her husband is cheating on her with someone close to her.

She feels bad, yet Y/n isn’t going to admit that, especially not knowing when she feels like her selfish feelings are justified. Lee has affirmed her selfishness, but she’s not innocent either. Her own relationship is falling apart right in front of her eyes too but that doesn’t mean she is allowed to seek comfort in another woman’s husband. When it was 3, 4 years ago and she had no clue what Florence looked like she felt like she wasn’t the one to blame. It was Lee stepping out on his wife. But now that she has smiled in Florence’s face and has gone on outings with the woman, she has a big scarlet letter pinned to her that she sees every time she looks in the mirror. Y/n would never call herself a great person, but she feels like she has lost a part of herself in this and something nasty has arisen.

“Why would she think Lee is cheating on her? Doesn’t he just go to work and come home?”

“Yes. Yes he does, or that’s at least what Florence tells me. I just get so confused because one moment everything is perfect and now she claims she’s always had this sinking suspicion that her husband was cheating on her. I don’t think Lee is perfect — he’s far from it — but I think Florence is overreacting. Even if he has stepped out on her in the past, is she really going to leave behind the good life that she has?”

Susie takes a seat on the couch without offering Y/n a spot to sit. She massages the bridge of her nose in frustration. She considers Florence her best friend, but god is she one difficult woman to deal with.

“Will Florence be back?” Y/n asks as she takes the initiative to sit on the love seat opposite of Susie.

“I don’t know. I truly don’t,” she pauses for a moment. The cogs of her brain turn and she churns out multiple outcomes this can lead to. One thing she knows for sure is that Florence will get her way, whatever that is. “Florence is a woman who stands in her convictions. She’s a little bit fake, but if she says she’s going to do something then she will. She hasn’t mentioned the D-word, but she did say multiple times she never wants to see his face again. I just can’t imagine Florence running away without getting some sort of vindication. She never runs away, just usually smiles her way out of things. What I know for sure is that Lee fucked up.”

“It’s possible that she would divorce him, right?”

“I doubt it. Her parents wouldn’t approve — staunch Catholics. Florence is a grown woman, but she wouldn’t go against her parents. Hell, she lied about Lee coming from a protestant family, but that was easy to cover up since his mother was dead by then and that weird sister of his didn’t attend. This, the obvious rift in their marriage, ain’t so easy to cover up.”

Y/n kept her mouth shut in fear of accidentally telling on herself. She doesn’t know why Susie called her over in the first place. She’s sure she was the second or third choice. The woman just needed to rant. She was stressed out by Florence’s drama and it doesn’t even have anything to do with her. She looks everywhere but at Y/n’s face.

She knows how Florence feels through Susie’s retelling of (part of) the story, but she wonders how Lee feels. Is that why he hasn’t been calling her? She misses him so damn much and it’s becoming more unbearable dealing with Lou and his emotional outbursts. Lee is her solace from the cloud of impending violence in her own home. Knowing that Florence is out of the county makes her feel a little bit relieved, but paranoia of extra eyes being on Lee replaces the past worry.

“Lee, that bastard,” Susie’s sharp voice cuts through the silence, “he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I know Florence is stubborn but if he would just give her a damn baby like he promised then no one would be in this situation. I don’t know if he’s really cheating on her or not, but he’s a man; I wouldn’t be surprised if he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Florence had so many suitors back then it was ridiculous. She saw the potential in Lee — it was like she was able to see into the future and see that he was going to have the power he does today. They both enjoy having power and people begin to be somewhat scared of them. Match made in heaven.”

The most ironic part about Florence’s accusations is that she is completely right, but she just has the timeline wrong. The “constant late nights” she accused Lee of going to see some whore were just long work shifts. He stopped going to bars to cheat once Y/n left Tecumseh, and ultimately stopped going period. He would just drink in his cruiser before going home to pass out in bed next to his unsuspecting wife.

Lee felt blindsided by the sudden accusations because he thought he kept his tracks pretty clean. He just fucked Y/n the other night, and he refuses the believe that she somehow knows about that. She would’ve scalped Y/n instead of leaving town if she knew definitively that Lee fucked her so-called friend.

He couldn’t help but laugh when Florence left the house that day. She had threatened to go stay with her parents in the past, but never did that red Chevy pull into their driveway. Lee’s face fell when he saw his father-in-law in the driveway with the windows rolled up. He wasn’t going to come up to Lee and say shit but it was the pure audacity to meddle in his marriage that made Lee’s blood boil. He watched from the window as the car peeled away and headed up north. He couldn’t believe it and that’s why he had to laugh. Florence is too stupid for her own good, he believes. Her leaving doesn’t make him think about his actions because he had plans to call Y/n up that night she left, but work had gotten in the way and ruined his plans. If Florence was really concerned about her husband sleeping with “every whore in town” then she would keep an eye on him, not let the dog off the leash.

Lee does not care for the dramatics of his wife and he doesn’t like to be tested. Why Florence wanted to be a strong woman now is beyond him when he knows she’s weak and has always been that way. If this were the beginning of their marriage, hell if it was even a year or two ago, she would’ve stayed. She would’ve gotten on that phone and cried to her mother only to be told to stay. Patti didn’t leave when her husband, Florence’s careless father, cheated on her with a string of young women. Lee always thought women who grew up with mothers like that turned into them, but maybe Florence is defiant just like his sister Sandy. His mother did her absolute best to raise them by herself, but instead of inheriting the hard worker trait, she just wanted to, in her own words, “have fun.” Lee wonders if she made it to California like she said her and Carl were going to do or if he killed her yet. Lee may not like how Florence acts from time to time, but at least he respects her unlike Carl with his sister. That man has looked at his sister with pure contempt multiple times but she stays, which is the most un-Sandy thing ever; to stay tied down to one person and one place.

The women in Lee’s life are complex, with Florence being the most complicated. He can’t help but feel like he’s had a hand in her behavior at times, sometimes even acting just like her, but when was the last time Lee Bodecker took responsibility for his own actions?

Lee feels himself to be a simple man who likes simple things and in his eyes, Y/n is a simple woman too. She has all the makings of a walking disaster (no one who works a Tecumseh or frequents there comes out of that building “okay”), yet she still has the air of sweet innocence around her and it never goes away no matter how many times he defiled her. It’s no surprise that she’s married a man so shut off. Lee is probably the only man who has ever given her any kind of warmth. And while he will admit that most of their nights together he treated her like his personal sex toy, he would talk to her like a human from time to time. He could tell that she needed. Lee limits the number of times he allows himself to vulnerable, but he isn’t emotionally stupid; a man doesn’t become the sheriff off of pure luck. It was written all over Y/n’s 19 year old face that she needed a man to be nice to her and that’s what he did. It was a very simple thing to do, and that’s what Lee likes.

He wishes he hadn’t come down to this, but is it a blessing in disguise? He can’t quite decide if it truly is or not but he feels that way. The two of them are having problems in their own marriage, and like clockwork, at the first sign of real trouble, Y/n came running back to him. He figured it would’ve happened sooner or later but sooner is better than later.

“C’mon…pick up the phone.”

Y/n turns around to peek over her shoulder and make sure her husband isn’t anywhere near. She can hear his feet against the wooden floors, the creaking a reminder that he could catch her at any moment. Y/n felt too on edge to function these days.

“Hello?”

“Lee?” She whispers into the phone.

He picks up on the urgency in her voice which makes him sit up taller in his seat. He hasn’t heard from her in days and this was not the way he wanted to be reunited with her.

“Are you alright?”

“What did you do?”

Lee pauses for a moment. It’s painfully obvious what she’s referring to, the news about Florence was bound to become fodder for the town’s biggest gossipers.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Does she find out about us? Does she know about the other night? I’m scared people will find out and they’ll be mean to me. I can’t handle that Lee, you know I can’t. I can’t deal with that, especially not right now.”

“Calm down,” he tries to reassure her but her breathing picks up on the other side of the phone. She’s going to stress herself out over nothing. “I’m coming to get you-“

“No!” As soon as the words leave her mouth she turns around again to make sure Lou isn’t near. She puts the phone back on her ear once she feels safe to do so. “You can’t. Lou’s home and I don’t know when he’s leaving.”

“Then come over here. I doubt he knows about Florence being gone.”

“I-I don’t think I should do that either.”

“Then why did you call me if you didn’t want anything? Ya know you left me high and dry after fucking me in my car. Didn’t hear a single thing from you — you know I’m vulnerable right now.”

“It’s not like that Lee! I can’t just up and leave! My husband is still here, and things have been tough since his mother died. I’m doing my best.”

“Doing your best by sleeping with another man?”

Lee waits for her answer but instead hears the disconnect tone instead of her voice. He laughs to himself as he puts the phone back on the hook. He’s constantly getting into trouble with the women in his life but he can’t act like he doesn’t instigate most of those situations just for a little bit of one-sided fun.

Y/n wasn’t expecting Lee to be exactly loving and patient with her but she at least expected some sort of kindness after their night together. Maybe it was a little mean to not reach out to Lee in any sort of capacity but she’s just so scared. She’s scared of what her bitter life with her husband has become and she’s scared of Florence. Lee could reassure her all he wants but that doesn’t stop her from being so paranoid. Y/n has never had to worry about her reputation, she’s always been on the bottom rung of the social hierarchy, but things are different here.

She scurried back into the living room where the TV was playing The Andy Griffith Show. Y/n sat on the couch and kept her eyes glued to the TV. It was a distraction for her and she found herself mindlessly watching hours of TV over the last few days. Lou never bothers her or accuses her of being overbearing when she’s just sitting there being an idle wife. She cooks breakfast and dinner for him and that’s it. He doesn’t ask for anything more because he barely talks to her. She’s suffering this loss too but instead of grieving with her husband she keeps her mouth shut in fear of him having an outburst. He can’t control his anger these days so it’s best not to talk to him at all.

Lou finally appears, but he’s gone out the front door in a second. Y/n isn’t sure where he goes for hours and hours, but when he does come back he passes out immediately once he makes it to their bed. She can smell the alcohol on him, but one thing she can’t smell is perfume or the familiar smell of Tecumseh. She wonders where he goes. It would be ironic if he was leaving the house to go cheat on her. She doesn’t think she’d be able to bring herself to care if he was cheating on her. Surely whatever woman he’s seeing isn’t getting the best of him because that never existed. Y/n constantly wonders if she got played or if Lou feels like he got played into believing Y/n was the model wife (which would have been a wrong assumption on his part as Y/n never went out of her way to deceive him like she felt he did her).

The moment he’s out the door, she’s thinking about Lee again. She’s always thinking about him, but after speaking with him today she feels tempted to see him again. She touched herself in the shower two nights ago thinking about how she rode him in the car. She rarely got to ride him before and having the control of being on top was everything. She had felt powerful in that moment despite being emotionally emptied. Lee was a bastard but at the end of the day he’s her bastard. And she doesn’t want to share with him. She had no choice before, but she does now.

Y/n is at the phone again, pressing the buttons to spell out Lee’s house number and pressing the call button. Her mood has done a complete 180 and she feels giddy to call Lee this time around. She feels slightly unstable when a surge of happiness hits her. She’s never been so excited about getting fucked in her life.

“Hello?”

“Lee, it’s me.”

He furrows his brow when he hears her voice again. As much as he likes that she can’t stay away, she leaves him feeling confused. But, she is calling him, he isn’t going to ruin the moments simply because he can’t figure her out.

“Calling to say sorry?”

She feels a sense of relief when she hears that familiar joking tone instead of being questioned for being so hasty earlier and hanging up on him.

“No I’m not. I know better than to give a man like you an apology,” she jokes back with him. “I’m at home…alone…and I want to see you.”

“Oh, so now you want me to come over?”

“I can always walk back the offer.”

“No, no, I’ll be over,” he says quickly. She makes him feel like a teenage boy walking on eggshells to be able to bed the prettiest girl in school. “What time can I come?”

“Two hours.”

“See you then, sweetheart.”

Y/n beautified herself for Lee like she has done for no other man. Lee has seen her (and fucked her) after long, grueling shifts, so it wouldn’t really matter what she looked like. But she needed to dress up for someone. She’s been in the house these last few days, rarely getting out and hardly caring about her appearance. She needed a reason to feel pretty again.

Lee pulls up in the driveway with his headlights off. Lou’s car is notably absent which does not come as a shock to him; he knew something had to happen to turn Y/n’s mood around so quickly. A few lights are on in the house, one which Lee concludes is Y/n and her husband’s bedroom. He can see her silhouette in the window through the thin curtains. He feels himself hardening already.

Y/n heard the sound of the engine cutting off and the sound of feet crunching the snow. She felt nervous and slightly embarrassed because of their last night together. She didn’t mean to tell him as much as she did, but she couldn’t stop herself. She had called him for a reason; she wanted to get out of the house, yes, but she needed someone to listen to her. She wasn’t even in search of words that could wrap around her like a warm hug, but to just be heard.

“Where’s that husband of yours?” Lee asks as she opens the door for him, the porch light noticeably off.

“Out.”

Lee hums. He knows that, but the lack of location tells him that Y/n isn’t sure exactly where he is. Lee asked partially to be nosy, but to also know how much time they have together.

“He won’t interrupt us,” Y/n quips. It’s like she was able to read Lee’s mind. “I made soup if you want some,” she continues as she turns towards the kitchen and disappears. Lee follows right behind her, but he struggles with how to act around her. He’s walking on eggshells now and he can’t remember a time where he had to do that with Y/n. She notices how stand-offish he is when she takes a seat, bowl of soup in front of her on the kitchen table, yet he’s still standing there. “Well, are you going to join me?”

He grabs the back of the chair and pulls it out before sitting. “Not hungry,” he reassures her. The last thing he wants to do is make it seem like he’s trying to ice her out when that’s not his intention. He’s just waiting for the moment she brings up that topic. It almost makes him anxious. He doesn’t want the conversation to steer out of his control which is why he brings it up instead of letting her do it.

“She doesn’t know about us. She doesn’t know anything. I promise.”

“I know Lee — you told me this on the phone.”

“Florence is just mad. I don’t think she particularly likes you and it’s has nothin’ to deal with us. Florence isn’t a nice person.”

“But, she was nice to me. She was very nice to me.”

Y/n does not sound confident in her own words as they leave her mouth. She acts as if Lee doesn’t know about the ways Florence loves to nitpick at people. She will find something small and keep chipping away at it until it becomes someone’s biggest insecurity. Florence is nice on the surface, sure, but she’s a deeply insecure woman. She has made Y/n feel bad about her appearance, yet that doesn’t compare to the ultimate sin of fucking the lady’s husband and then smiling in her face. Granted, Y/n didn’t know life would bring her to this point, but she has more control over the events of her life than she thinks.

“I don’t believe you believe that, Y/n.”

“She tried to help me-“

“That morning I came over and you told me your mother-in-law died, I was bringing over those shoes Florence wanted to give you. They were purposely too small. They were from when she was a young girl. She was going to give you shoes only a 13 year old could fit.”

“So?”

“So she’s not nice. All she has for you is half-baked kindness.”

“You’ve been mean to me Lee and yet I still let you in my house.”

Lee felt is cock softening in his pants. He thought they were going to get straight to fucking, but he should have kept his mouth shut.

“I’m no meaner than your husband. At least I actually like you.”

Y/n felt herself folding despite wanting to keep up this back and forth with Lee. It has been days since she’s had any interaction beyond the very few words Lou says to her. Even conflict feels like something. However she doesn’t have it in her to put up a good fight. Lee will never see things her way, nor will he ever understand, so it’s best to let him feel like he’s right.

“You didn’t call me over here to argue, I hope not.” Lee wants to turn the mood around so he can just fuck her already. He can’t help but smirk when he sees her roll her eyes and try not to smile at his joke. His hand is cutting out for him and he wants to have Y/n on top of him again.

“No…no I didn’t,” her face felt warm as she spoke. She was slightly ashamed that she called him over because she wants to have sex with him. She looks very pretty sitting across from him and tonight she just wants to pretend that she got dressed up all nice for her husband who was coming home from a long day of work. Lee being in uniform would’ve helped complete the fantasy sure, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“Do you want to show me why you called me over here when it’s only time for bed?”

She can’t look him in the eyes, but she nods her head. Lee stands up tall and grabs her hand. He walks her through the house as if this is his home and as if he knows where he’s going. It doesn’t take him much searching to find her bedroom. It doesn’t feel lived in his bedroom at home; there aren't all the necessities a woman needs nor are there house shoes scattered on the floor. The bed is perfectly made and Lee has two thoughts: one, Y/n and her husband have not slept in this room in days, and two, he wants to mess up the perfection. Y/n herself looks so perfect, a display of everything she has learned from Florence and The Girls. But her visage was different because underneath Lee can still see that nervous 19 year-old from that nasty bar.

“Do you put on blush and mascara every night you go to bed, or is that just for me?”

“Just for you.”

Lee inhales sharply hearing her whisper her words like that. Her nightgown is almost see through and he can perfectly see the outline of her breast. Her nipples poke through the thin material. His hand brushes against her waist, moving upwards until he takes one breast in his hand and lifts his other hand to cup both. He has the urge to bend over and stick his face between her breasts and motorboat her. He used to do it to her all the time back in the day when he wanted to be frisky, but right now it feels too dirty to do that. He wants to take his time with something so sweet like her. She got all dressed up for him and it would be a shame for him to ruin all of that already.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that right?” He says earnestly and almost desperately. Y/n is unable to answer him. She can’t truly recall that last time someone has told her she looks beautiful, and she really can’t recall if Lee has ever called her that or not. It doesn’t matter because he’s touching her so softly

His thumbs run over her nipples, feeling just how hard they are. His mouth is almost watering but he is showing an incredible amount of restraint. It disgusts him to admit it, but now he is able to understand why Carl likes taking dirty photos so much. Y/n looks like one of those innocent girls in those smut magazines Lee continues to confiscate from the teenagers who like to hangout in the abandoned buildings.’

“I want you to fuck me Lee,” she looks up at him, batting her lashes for him. She’s not used to him taking his sweet time with her. Anytime they fuck it’s rough and fast. There is always a sense of urgency in his touch, but not tonight. He moves as if he has all the time in the world, as if neither of them are unsure when Y/n’s husband is coming back.

“I know,” he leans down to kiss her cheek, feeling her warm skin against his lips, “but you have to be patient for me, okay?” She nods her head much to his satisfaction. “Good girl.”

The bed creaks as he guides her to sit on it. His knees dig into the rug on the floor and his large hands push up the bottom of her dress and run across her thighs. “Smell so good,” he whispers to himself. She smelled like fresh linen and berries. Lee found himself feeling dizzy from the smell and from being turned on by her so much. She’s so gorgeous.

He keeps pushing her dress up, expecting to find her panties but when he tries to pull down the elastic, he catches nothing but bare skin. She wasn’t wearing any panties; she figured Lee would want to hurry up and fuck her so she did them both a favor. Lee would normally tease her about the lack of underwear, but he’s just feeling grateful right now.

Her dress is all the way up now and her sex is exposed. Y/n shivers a little bit feeling the cooler air hit her sensitive thighs. She begins to part her legs wider for him until he’s pushing her all the way open. She gasps feeling his rough hands digging into her thighs. They’ve never had the luxury of fucking in the comfort of a bed; they were always cramped in a car or fucking behind Tecumseh but this is so different.

Lee feels totally surrounded by her warmth as he places his face between her thighs. He has missed this, he has missed this so much. It energizes him to between her legs again. His fingers are digging too harshly into her skin but he’s so dazed to even notice. Y/n winces at the slight pain of his nail but Lee doesn’t let up on her. But he does look up at Y/n once the noise escapes her lips. His eyes are trained on her face as he makes his descent lower between her legs, his personal heaven.

He does remove his harsh grip from her thighs only to slide them underneath her and grab a handful of her ass to dig his fingers into her flesh once again. He lifts her hips and kisses her bare thighs. Y/n whimpers at how he handles her body so roughly yet with so much care at the same time. He whispers something against her skin but she can’t make out any of his words. It feels as if the sound of her blood pumping has filled her ears. She’s close to begging for him to do something already, but she’s at a loss for words.

Finally his tongue slides against her sex, tasting her directly for the first time in a long time. He groans loudly when he gets the full taste of her, so sweet and fresh like he remembered. He licks her hard and slowly again to savor her taste. She’s more potent than any of his favorite beers.”

“Lee,” she whines, her voice finally appearing. Her body wants to move around, but Lee’s tough grip on her makes it hard. She’s at his mercy and he’s not making it easier for her. He stops giving her those slow licks and goes faster and faster. His tongue rolls right over the hood of her clit and it’s overwhelming. Y/n grabs the bed beneath her body and stares at the ceiling. It feels so incredible and she’s wondered if she’s died and gone to heaven; everything feels so saccharine as Lee takes her body under.

The sounds of his tongue against her sex, how sloppy he’s making her with his saliva that mixes with her arousal fills the room. His lips and tongue smack against her as he enjoys the ripeness of her flesh. Y/n feels adored even it’s just sexually, but how could someone who puts this much attention in her not love her? She’s not a silly girl and doesn’t want to associate sex with love, but she can’t help herself right now.

Her heels dig into the bed as Lee spoils her cunt. Her arousal covers his chin and it makes his face become a bit messy. His eyes close as he enjoys his time but he occasionally looks up at her to see the pleasure all over her face. It makes him happy to know that he is the only man to make her feel this way.

Y/n hands paw at his head when he sucks directly on her clit. It’s too much for her to handle when she hasn’t been licked out in a while. Her body was so deprived and hungry for something more than a quick fuck. She wanted her pleasure was prioritized for the first time. His lips feel so soft and plush around her clit that it makes her legs shake. He still has the strength to hold her hips up and devour her like a sweet pastry.

“Lee! I’m gonna cum!”

She thought those words would help her reach her high, but they have the opposite effect. Instead Lee pulls away, his face glistening and hunger in his eyes.

“Take that off,” he says roughly as he points to her night gown. Y/n pulls it over her head, exposing herself completely to him. He’s able to take in the sight of her with the right amount of lighting. He wishes he had done this sooner because it was exactly what he needed. It confuses him but also affirms passing questions he had in the past.

Lee is still fully clothed while Y/n is completely bare. Lee fumbles with his belt before getting it off and tossing it onto the floor. He pulls himself out, keeping himself dressed but it didn’t bother Y/n at all. She knew he would become insatiable and he wouldn’t be able to take his time with her; Lee is not a patient man.

He places himself on top of her, her body sinking into the bed with his weight. Y/n’s legs spread wide for him and wrap around his waist as her arms go around her neck, holding onto him for dear life. She feels the head of his cock poking at her entrance before he sinks in.

“Fuck,” he groans as her warmth engulfs him. He places his face in her neck and starts to move his hips, humping her while she holds onto him.

Lee is deeper inside of her than he was the other night. This position leaves them both vulnerable, but god does it give them the best pleasure. Y/n gasps every time the tip of his cock brushes against her cervix. He’s so big and she can only take so much.

“Lee,” she whines out his name, it feels so good but she’s still not used to the size of him after all of these years. Lee was girthy and the stretch gave her a delicious burn.

“You can take it…you can take it,” he moans against her neck. He knew what that whine meant and he was going to have her give up on him. He pulls away from her neck and kisses her for the first time tonight. “You can take all of me,” he coos when he pulls away.

Y/n nods her head, feeling sure of herself although her pussy feels much more sensitive tonight. Her body has been tender these last few days and irrational thoughts filled her head. There was no way she was pregnant with Lee’s child with no symptoms and it being too soon to tell. But, she’s fucking him again and he’s in her bare. There is no way he’ll fuck her with condoms again, so they’re both taking the risk.

Lee was fucking her to his heart’s content. He has been so bored, and lonely, these past few days and to be inside of Y/n again felt like a gift. Her pussy is so warm and wet, tightening around his cock so much. He kisses her again so she can taste herself on his lips. There were things he did with her he would never do with his wife. He became raw and hedonistic with her, and while it made Y/n feel like a filthy whore for years, it made him feel vulnerable. Lee didn’t have to hold back or to adhere to Florence’s strict rules, he could do whatever he wanted with Y/n and with that power he often pushed the both of them to their limits.

“C’mon,” he growls, the rumbling in his throat can be felt against Y/n’s chest, “keep it tight for me,” he begs.

Y/n gasps at his demand but obeys him. She feels the ridges of his cock so much more now. She angles her hips so Lee’s cock rubs against that spot that makes her whimper and cry out for him. She can feel her eyes beginning to water and blur her vision. She can’t explain just how different this time feels different. It’s both sweet and rough which reflects the current situation of his life.

Lee sits up tall, still fucking into her sensitive pussy. He looks so brooding looking down at her, watching her tits jiggle as he fucks her harder and faster. She comes undone beneath him. His clothed stomach bumping against her body, the soft ‘pat’ of her skin meeting his pants, and his heavy gaze on her leaves her feeling dazed. Her cum drenches his cock and she tightens up so much that he’s about to blow.

“W-Where do you want me to cum?” He asks. He doesn’t care where he cums, whether it’s inside of her or on her body. He has never given her this option which is why she hesitates, but she sees him getting close and blurts something out before he can cum.

“On my face.”

Lee pulls out of her and grabs the back of her head. He’s rough as he pulls her up but she forgives his urgency since she’s about to cum. She watches him close his eyes, throw his head back, and moan her name before his cum sputters out of the head of his cock and lands right on her face. She’s forced to close one eye but she keeps the other locked on him, growing obsessed with how weak and vulnerable he is right now. Everything looks surreal in the light, almost as if this is not really happening. But, the continual drops of cum on her face remind her that this is reality.

When Lee finally opens his eyes he looks down at her and sees some of that makeup she put on to look pretty had been ruined by tears and his cum.

“You look so fucking beautiful,” he says while trying to catch his breath. She’s sure she looks an absolute mess but she believes him and feels that she looks beautiful to him.

Lee grunts as he lays down on the bed next to her as if this his bed. Y/n is almost surprised by the audacity of him; how he kicks his feet up and rests his head against the pillow like he’s used to this bed. She shouldn’t be surprised by his behavior at this point.

He wraps an arm around her and pulls her close to his chest. It’s an intimate gesture, one that he has only done with wife, but he feels that it’s appropriate tonight. Florence would usually talk to him about what was going on in town when they finished having sex. She would talk his ear off and ask him what he thought about something asinine. Lee always indulged her but he much prefer the silence after sex. Whether Y/n doesn’t know what to say or if she’s too tired, he’s grateful for her silence. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be here, but he’ll at least stay until Y/n falls asleep. He doesn’t want to leave, but he knows he will have to.

#lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker smut #lee bodecker x you #lee bodecker x ofc #sheriff lee bodecker #the devil all the time #lee bodecker x y/n #sebastian stan characters #smut #fic #dark fic

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imagines-mha · 3 years

Text

💋brutally honest advice based on who you kin / your favourite hq character 💋

💌 i’ve been MIA from this blog for so long lmao 😭 happy summer kiddos

Daichi- sometimes its okay to take breaks and enjoy yourself!! I know you are the reliable friend and i know you love to think your life has linear direction but baby!! You are young!! Enjoy yourself and go fucking crazy every once in a while!! you dont need to be mature 24/7!!

Suga- bro as a suga kinnie im so fucking sorry. You know you’re hot- im so glad you do, but start treating yourself like it!! Its one thing to be sweet to everyone and lift them up but another to do it in place of caring for yourself! Its unsexy to neglect your own needs. Drink some water. I love u.

Asahi- are you in therapy? No? Maybe you should look into that… please stop being afraid of taking up space. U are an angel and everything you say is 100% worthy, interesting and valid. Its alright to be anxious and stay inside sometimes too- do what makes YOU happy, but take care of yourself too okay

Noya- YES i love ur energy but PLEASE STOP NEGLECTING RESPONSIBILITY!!! I mean this from a place of sweetness in my HEART i love you so much and i know youre gonna regret not making that phonecall/doing that essay in the long run. The sooner you do it the sooner its over.

Tanaka- being the comic relief friend is not a full time job my love. Its okay to have your off days- if you were happy 24/7 you would be a robot. Are u a robot? No u arent. I love u. Also please drink some water

Ennoshita- yes i know gifted kid burnout shit is hard i know but do you know how proud everyone is of you? Sometimes you need to take a little step back from life and just inhale, and then exhale again. You dont have to be productive to be successful. I love u

Kageyama- stop clenching your jaw/ tensing your eyebrows right now. Also relax your shoulders. You arent going anywhere bby. I know you hate it when people look at you, but it doesnt always mean theyre out to get you. You are loved, and you have the potential to be loved by everyone- rbf or not

Hinata- i think nows the time you start to stand up for yourself when people call you annoying/ ignore your ideas. I know you just wanna do what makes everyone happy ,and you dont mind when people use you as the butt of the joke, but you deserve sm more than that. Also have a good cry every once in a while

Tsukki- bro its okay to show emotion do you know that? I rlly hope you know that. I know you were raised in an environment that stunted that for you. Now its okay to breathe and its okay to love and its okay to cry. You dont have to feel guilty for it. You dont have a limited stock of tears. I know you like to be chill all the time but youre neglecting ur emotional needs bb

Yamaguchi- you need to look at yourself and say im proud of you. Also, stop comparing yourself to your friends. I know you feel like you’ll always be behind your peers because of your younger years but the only person you need to focus on is you. You’re the only person you’ve got for the rest of your life- so love yourself <3

Kuroo- i know you love to pick your friends up, i really do. You’re an angel and youre the friend everyone loves and needs. But you run away from your own issues way too much. You probably have like 3538 hobbies and thats great!! But you need a self care day, and maybe to confront your demons so they dont outrun you. Love u

kenma - open your curtains and let some sunlight in. also drink water. The sanctity of your bed s lovely, i know, but its okay to sit outside and just take in your surroundings every once in a while. Its also okay to have “childish” hobbies. Stuffed animals? Animal crossing? Thats fucking hot babe dont feel embarrassed for it

Lev- write things down. Literally make reminders on your phone and stop being late to everything. I know you dont mean it and i know you hate taking responsibility for your actions but PLEASE itll save you sm stress. Also stop feeling bad because you lack common sense. Its sexy.

Bokuto- validation from friends is really fun but sometimes its even better to validate yourself!! Instead of asking what people would think of you, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a fucking hot bitch. also , never stop validating your friends. They love it, even if they pretend they dont

Akaashi- the weight of the world is not yours to bear my love. I love the way you romanticise the little things in life like books and music, but remember that its okay to have lazy days too. You dont always have to be aesthetically pleasing to survive. Also, accept affection from your friends. They adore you.

Konoha- bb u need to breathe. You dont have a time limit to do everything on your bucketlist. You dont have to go out every night to have a good social life. You constantly feel like you need to have the cookie cutter teenage life, ad beat yourself up when you miss the mark. But honestly? Noone has that life. Its a societal construct. Work at ur own pace

Oikawa- go to therapy. I dont know how many times you need to hear this but you dont need to be perfect all the time. I know you dont believe me but im so serious. Also, not everyones out to hurt you. You dont need to prove youre better than people- theres room at the top for everyone. Just prove that you’re good enough for yourself

Iwa- showing affection doesnt make you weak!! Also, you should take up a hobby to deal with those anger issues you may or may not have. You bottle your emotions up then act surprised when they explode. This is not healthy behaviour bb, remember that you are loved even if you show love through eye-rolls and playful smacking

Mattsun- first of all if you kin mattsun DM me immediately and ill sort the wedding. Second of all, your life isnt gonna write itself bb. I know you love to “go with the flow of things” but sometimes you gotta steer the wheel yourself to get that perfect life youre trying to manifest. Also, please dont do drugs. I know you want to, but please dont. I love u

Makki- stop joking about yur unresolved traumas and face them like a bad bitch, i know your cool, i know your hot and i know your fashion sense is off the fucking charts but oh my GOD you need to confront your issues ASAP before they throw you into a breakdown

Kunimi- i know you thought you’d be dead by now and you’re living life on autopilot bc you have no idea what to do with it but babe. You made it this far. Look at you. Im so proud of you and you should be so proud of you too. Youve got this more than anyone. Dont give up now and stay safe

Futakuchi- you are so sexy i know but you are literally 1 step away from turning into a train wreck. I know adrenaline is hot and i know you like to pretend you dont care about life but oh my god. Please dont text your ex. Please dont do that dangerous thing that could get you in trouble. breATHE BABE

Aone - you are a strong believer that a hug from this man could cure your depression. Me too. Maybe invest in a djungelsnog bear from ikea. Surround yourself with stuffed animals and soft things and never stop being kind to people.

Koganegawa- never stop trying to befriend people!! If people think you’re weird for it then that just shows how close minded they are. You are so approachable and people appreciate you so much. Also, the most trustworthy person in the world. Treat yourself to chicken nuggets every once in a while.

Ushijima- its okay to take breaks. Yes you’re deadset on your goals and yes you’re successful as hell, but sometimes a night off with a friend or family is all you need. You close yourself off and noone really knows what to say to you bc of it. Its okay to share your personality- it doesnt make you weak

Tendou- people who look at you weird are cowards. Youre hot. You show support to your friends to make up for the lack of support people showed you when you were younger. I know you think you’ve never moved on from your past but i swear you have. Such a cool person. I love u

Semi- add my number and date me. Tumblr 2014 is your comfort zone and you probably developed serious issues cus of it. Please stop romanticising your sadness and going back to that time period everytime you need a coping mechanism.

Goshiki- ik you have a praise kink but you need to praise urself baby. You are doing a good job!! Your hard work is enough, even if it doesnt pay off! Youre so resilient and you try so hard, it makes you the best person to be around. You have nothing to prove to anyone, i swear

Atsumu- stop trying to be funny it doesnt work no im jk. Who cares if people dont like you? Who cares if you embarrass yourself in public/? YOU SHOULDNT. You dont have to be a pillar of friendship or reliability for everyone, and you dont have to wear a happy mask all the time. Let yourself fall down sometimes

Osamu- you like to be taken care of and you deserve it so much. Sometimes you have no motivation for anything at all and thats okay!! People grow at different rates- let your independence guide you to where you need to be. Dont take shit from anyone

Kita- your soul is literally like a lake on a summers day. You are so kind, so patient, so peaceful and so supportive… to everyone but yourself. You need to treat yourself like you treat everyone else, and stop letting people walk all over you because you see the good in them smh

Suna- its okay to be soft. Being soft is strong as hell sometimes babe. You love to laugh at your friends and act unbothered about things concerning you, but sometimes you cry in the middle of the night. Thats cool. Thats fine. Do something that thrills you- like a rollercoaster or going out at night. Feel that dopamine rush baby 😎

Terushima- let down your walls babe. I know youre flirty and hot, but you also wanna be held and thats cool too. Also maybe make a to do list. Having fun is all you need, but sometimes you want a deep talk at 2am on a rooftop. You are complex. That is okay. That is hot

Sakusa- you overthink everything and worry that what you said or did to someone wasnt enough, or was hurtful in any way. People love you for how you are- quirks and everything. You excite hot energy and like to do things alone. Thats hot. Who cares if you get judged?

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imagineredwood · 3 years

Text

1. “Out of everyone, I really didn’t think you would do this to me.” “I didn’t!” - Angel Reyes

Summary: Adelita is pregnant, and with how unreliable Angel has been lately, that’s more than suspicious.

Pairing: Angel Reyes x female reader

Warnings: Angst, emotional hurt/comfort, mention of cheating, arguing

Word count: 1.1K

A/N: Y’all know I’m a slut for hurting my own feelings as well as yours lmao 🥺🥺 Angst through the mf roof, but I know we all like that shit 🥴

“Leave me alone, Angel. I told you to give me some fucking space.”

“No! I didn’t even do anything. Just fucking talk to me!”

The Mayan was exasperated and terrified, the crease between his brows deeper than you had ever seen it as he watched you pack your things into a bag. You ignored him, continuing to shovel clothing into it, Angel’s hands suddenly gripping your wrists and yanking them away from the tote. He held them in his hands tightly, forcing you to turn and face him. He dipped down to put himself at eye perfect level with you, trying to give you no choice but to look him in the panicked eyes. His voice was gentler this time when he spoke in hopes that it would maybe be enough to get a reason out of you.

“What the fuck is going on? Talk to me mami, please. What did I do? Tell me what I did so I can fix it. Please.”

You shook your head, growing more and more frustrated by the second.

“I’m over it, Angel.”

“Over what? Me going on runs? Me staying at the clubhouse late? Me forgetting to call you back sometimes? What is it?”

“I know that she’s pregnant.”

“Who’s pregnant?”

“Adelita!”

Your voice trembled despite you trying to keep it together, your heart sinking deeper and deeper into your stomach by the second. Angel’s eyes were narrowed into slits now as confusion obscured his face, his head shaking side to side as he tried to understand.

“And? What the fuck does that have to do with me?”

You sighed and shook your head, trying to move yourself out of his grip before he could see the tears that were flooding your eyes. Angel was not allowing it.

“What, you think I’m the one that got her pregnant?!”

Managing to free them from his grasp, you tossed your arms out to the side and stared at him head on, not bothering to hide the tears that streaked down your cheeks.

“You spend more time with her than you do me. You cancel our dates because you’re out in the desert with her or off somewhere else. You always seem to be able to make time for her, but what about me? You drop whatever plans you have with me whenever she needs you. Doesn’t matter how far in advance I tell you or how important they are to me. You’ll move mountains to please her and you couldn’t give a fuck less how I feel or what I want. You run around out there with her in secret and now she’s pregnant out of the blue. What am I supposed to think?”

Angel shook his head, genuinely shocked that you believed he would do that to you. Sure, he hadn’t been the best boyfriend he could be, unreliable at best and neglectful at worst, but he would never cheat on you, much less be heartless and foolish enough to have a child with someone else in the process.

“I’ve never cheated on you, especially not with her. I know I haven’t been the best man that I can be for you but give me some credit.”

“Out of everyone, I really didn’t think you would do this to me.”

“I didn’t!”

It stung him to know that you thought he would be unfaithful, but it hurt even more to know that was how much he had made you doubt yourself. His distance had convinced you that you were no longer important to him, and that couldn’t have been further from the truth. You sniffled and wiped at your eyes, the sight breaking Angel’s heart.

“So it’s just a crazy coincidence then, huh.”

Angel sighed, standing up straight as he tried to make sure not to raise his voice.

“I don’t know who got her pregnant. Maybe it was her right hand, maybe it was Galindo, I don’t fuckin’ know who it was, and I don’t care, because it wasn’t me. All I’m trying to do is save my club. Make things safer so I can give you a better life. That’s all I want. She’s just a piece of the puzzle to make that happen. Nothing else. I swear to you. I would never do that to you. You’re my world, you can’t just leave.”

His voice cracked at the end, his own eyes watering as worry overwhelmed him at the thought that he could lose you over a misunderstanding. You were everything to him, and your pain was his pain. He could see that you were calming down, your chest no longer rising and falling as quickly in anger and despair, and he hoped that meant you would be more receptive. Reaching forward gently, he took your face in his hands, cradling your cheeks tenderly as his eyes locked with yours, his gaze unwavering.

“I didn’t cheat. I never have. I never will. I promised you that in the very beginning and I meant that shit. I struck gold with you, mi vida. I’m never going to ruin us.”

He felt the tension beginning to drain from your body and he continued, hoping that he was getting his point across.

“I know it's not fair that I cancel our dates or come home late when you spend the whole evening cooking me my favorite meal. You’re always there for me and I’m not there for you. That’s wrong and I know it, and I gotta do better. I fuck up a lot, but I’ve never fucked up like that and I won’t, I promise.”

He could see that he had broken through the wall you had put up, convincing you of the truth that he had never been unfaithful, and he tugged you into his chest holding onto you tightly as if you would slip away if he didn’t. He left kiss after kiss to your hair, speaking against it quietly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel special enough.”

You nodded against his chest, pulling away after a moment to offer your own apology.

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

Angel shook his head quickly.

“I didn’t give you enough reason to believe me. That’s my fault. I’ll do better, ok?”

You nodded as you looked up at him, Angel using his thumbs to brush away the leftover tears that had gathered in your lashes. You reached up yourself to wipe away the one on his cheek. Leaving a soft kiss on your forehead, he pulled you with him.

“Come on, let’s go order something for dinner and watch some movies.”

Looking up at him, you inquired about the plans he had told you he had.

“I thought you had to do something with EZ and Coco tonight?”

Angel waved his hand dismissively and began walking with you out of the bedroom and into the living room, hands holding onto your waist affectionately.

“They can handle it themselves. I’m staying in with my baby tonight.”

General taglist @piccasoe @ateliefloresdaprimavera @gemini0410 @woahitslucyylu @my-rosegold-soul @that-chick212 @everyhowlmarksthedead @glimmerglittergirl @elcococruz @fanaticfangurl21 @encounterthepast @iambabyharry @svintsandghosts @starrynite7114 @saturnsaree @multiyfandomgirl40 @destynelseclipsa @sadeyesgf @queenbeered

Mayans taglist @dazzledamazon @abunnykisses @briana-mishell24 @angelreyesgirl @wrcn9fvlcver @peaches009 @capt-canadian @thesandbeneathmytoes @krysiewithak @bisexual-space-slut @appropriate-writers-name @cind-in-real-life @blessedboo @montanaraed @kkim120 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @blowmymbackout

Angel taglist @cardenasarmy

#angel reyes #angel reyes x reader #Mayans MC #drabble #mayans imagine #mayans fx #angel reyes x latina!reader #angel reyes imagine

428 notes · View notes

btsqualityy · 2 years

Note

First time requesting for Drabble Day and I love your blog so much already! I think I’m still in time to send one. I like so much the kids as adults so can I get pretty please a double date between Kade-Ava and Carson and his wife? Sorry I don’t remember all the names :( seeing them catching up with life and going somewhere without the kids would be fun. Also Carson’s s/o is always pregnant in your asks so maybe them spoiling one of her three pregnancies? I’m already dying at Kade’s face ahahah sorry if this is long ☺️

"Hey hyung, we're over here!" Carson called out and Kaiden looked over, smiling and leading Ava over to the table where Carson and Min-seo were sitting.

"Hi, sorry we're late," Kaiden apologized, quickly hugging his brother and then pressing a kiss to his sister-in-law's cheek.

"I was filming something and we ended up getting behind schedule and finishing much later than planned," Ava explained apologetically.

“Is my Noona filming something spectacular again?” Carson wondered before pressing a kiss to Ava’s cheek.

“You’ll find out soon,” she giggled, sitting down after Kaiden pulled her chair out for her. “Seo, hi! It feels like forever since we’ve seen each other!”

“Well, I’ve been kind of busy running behind Kai and Ash,” Min-seo chuckled.

“And how are my nephews?” Kaiden wondered as he took his seat next to Ava.

“They’re good, growing like crazy,” Carson replied. “How are the girls?”

“Driving us crazy, as usual,” Kaiden laughed. “But they’re good. They miss you though.”

“Aw, we’re gonna have to get them for a weekend soon Car,” Min-seo said, turning to look at her husband. “They probably think we’re neglecting them.”

“You literally send them a delivery of ice cream earlier this week Seo,” Carson reminded her with a smile. “Trust me, I don’t they feel like that.”

“Well, just in case,” Min-seo shrugged.

“Anyways, have you guys ordered yet?” Ava asked. “I’m starving.”

“Nope, we just got here like 10 minutes before you guys did,” Min-seo said.

“Let’s start with drinks then because I could really fucking use one,” Ava huffed, lifting her hand and motioning to a waiter that they were ready to order.

“What would you all like?” The waiter asked.

“I’ll just have a Kloud,” Kaiden said.

“I’ll have the same,” Carson nodded.

“I’ll take a glass of the best red wine that you guys have on hand,” Ava smiled.

“Uh, I’ll just take a water, thank you,” Min-seo said and the waiter nodded, taking all of the drink menus off of the table before walking away.

“You’re not drinking tonight Seo?” Ava wondered. “Usually, we have to pry your hands off of a good glass of wine.”

“I know but I actually can’t drink right now.”

“Why?” Kaiden wondered. “Are you alright?”

“I’m great, don’t worry,” she assured him, looking over at Carson for permission and waiting until he had nodded his head before looking back at them. “I’m pregnant.”

“Are you serious?” Ava squealed.

“Are you serious?” Kaiden gasped.

“Yep, she’s 12 weeks today,” Carson stated proudly.

“Ah, this is amazing!” Ava grinned. “Maybe you’ll finally get your girl this time!”

“I hope so because this is definitely going to be the last one,” Min-seo giggled.

“Dude, I literally give you a box of 200 condoms every year at Christmas!” Kaiden whispered. “Did you not use them?”

“Dude, did you really think 200 condoms were going to last me for a whole year?” Carson smirked, yelping when Min-seo reached over and smacked his thigh.

“Don’t be crude,” she told him.

“Oh come on hyung,” Carson smiled. “You might finally get your niece.”

“Yeah whatever. Seo, congratulations. But you,” Kaiden said as he pointed at his younger brother. “Learn how to keep it in your pants, you hear me?”

“Yes hyung,” Carson replied dutifully.

“You really just scolded him for making love to his wife as if we weren’t doing the same thing in the car and that’s the real reason why we were late,” Ava muttered.

“Ava!” Kaiden exclaimed, making Carson and Min-seo crack up laughing.

#btsqualityy drabbles #drabble day #adult carson

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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years

Note

Hi, how are you? Your blog is amazing and your recommendations have already allowed me to read wonderful stories, so thank you so much! I wonder if you could suggest me any cherik fics of them as detectives? I remember reading one a long time ago, but unfortunately I don't know the name and even less the synopsis. Thank you in advance for your help.

Thank you so much @remember5novemberv for your kind words. I'm so sorry this took me so long but I hope you enjoy this list. There are some excellent detective AUs in this fandom so you're in for a treat.

Cherik Detective AUs

Their Mouths Always Lie – keire_ke

Summary: Charles adheres to most police protocols like they are a personal code of conduct. Erik gets things done and over with, for better or worse. Raven knows what she's doing, most of the time. The serial killer kills, regardless. Police AU.

Guilty by Association – Reagan

Summary: While investigating the homicide of a John Doe who he suspects might've been murdered while working the streets as a prostitute, Detective Erik Lehnsherr finds an unexpected ally in a hooker named Charles who seems as determined as he to solve the case. As they become more deeply involved both with the case and each other, there's just one thing that Charles neglects to mention -- that he's really an investigative journalist, one quickly convinced that what they're dealing with is more than simple murder. cop!Erik, fake-hooker-slash-reporter!Charles, Modern AU.

Incy Wincy Spider – Tawabids

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a renowned homicide detective, with his husband Charles at home and his partner on the job, Moira MacTaggert. When a twisted serial killer starts targeting mutants, Erik and Moira are the perfect team for the job, especially since Erik himself is the mutant poster-boy of an NYPD trying to improve their image.

But what they don't yet know is that the serial killer is an old soul out of Erik's past, and his next move is to pull Charles into his web.

The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea

Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.

“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"

“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”

Charles’ Killer – luchia

Summary: When detective Charles Xavier finds himself hunting down a vendetta-driven serial killer, it doesn't take long for him to realize he's in over his head. It only takes a little longer for him to realize his killer is, too.

Demoted – JayPendragon

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadn’t been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel – if he doesn’t die of boredom first.

One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.

Watching the Detectives – Clocks

Summary: Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are good friends and colleagues. However, when they go undercover at a Christmas party to nab a prime suspect, Erik keeps reminding himself to stay professional and ignore feelings of unexpected jealousy.

Oh, Sinnerman (Where you gonna run to?) – TintagelCastle (orphan–account)

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is one of the best homicide detectives in New York. From small time stabbings to high end mob hits, Erik (and his equally scary partner Logan) makes sure all the bad guys get caught, searching for the final clue to nail his mother's killer. As a string of murders draws the net ever tighter on Erik's life's work, he needs to catch the nightmare of his past whilst continuing to be the darling of the Force...

And so what if he's completely in love with the British guy on Forensics? Who's he ever going to tell?

Wrap up my bones – waifornight

Summary: Damaged detective Erik Lehnsherr is grimly searching for a serial killer whose victims all have extraordinary gifts. But without any clues or leads he and his partner Logan are in the dark. Until Charles Xavier, abducted by the killer, escapes. Together Erik and Charles must confront something far darker than either of them had ever imagined.

Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.

I’ll see your heart (and I’ll race you mine) – sirona

Summary: For Kriminalhauptkommissar Erik Lehnsherr, this case will change everything.

Paralyzer – Yahtzee

Summary: In 1965, Erik Lehnsherr has infiltrated the NYPD for his own purposes -- but his powers make him a brilliant detective. Yet that's not why FBI agent Charles Xavier has sought him out. It's because the mysterious killer they're both trying to find is murdering people like them: other mutants.

Their search for a madman binds them together. Their inner demons may tear them apart. But the greatest danger comes when the killer they're looking for looks back.

Wrap up my bones – waifornight

Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.

The Long Bright Dark – lachatblanche

Summary: Ten years ago Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr closed the case on a grotesque series of murders that continue to haunt them even in the present day. When they are pulled in for questioning a decade later, they finally have confirmation of something that they have both suspected for a very long time - that there is unfinished business for them to take care of and that the case they thought they had closed so very long ago is in reality still all too open.

A True Detective AU.

Finding North – ClarkeStetler, Goosenik

Summary: Charles and Erik are (loosely) friends with benefits. They don't share personal details, last names, or anything concrete about their lives. This is ruined rather spectacularly when Charles gets recruited by the Mutant Apprehension Division of the FBI. Surprised is a bit of an understatement for their reaction to finding themselves partnered up and sent out on cases with the team.

Closer (to God) – dsrobertson

Summary: Se7en/The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo AU-ish.

Political journalist and editor, Erik Lehnsherr, has just lost £150,000 in a libel case against businessman, Kurt Marko. Down on his luck and in need of money, Erik is approached by the Metropolitan Police’s Detective Inspector Charles Xavier. Well-known for his investigative journalism, Erik is asked to help in the search for a serial killer in return for £200,000 if the killer is caught.

Wrapped up in murder, religion, and sex, Erik gets more than he bargained for.

Homo Sacer – unveiled

Summary: In a not too distant future, Detective Erik Lehnsherr meets Charles Xavier: street magician, former academician, and telepath.

One Good Day – troll_under_the_bridge

Summary: One case which is going to turn Charles' world upside down, while he struggles to pacify his boss, investigate murders and come to terms with the mess his life has become.

Playing With Fire – professor

Summary: Charles is a detective determined to catch a serial killer.

If the serial killer doesn't catch him first.

Hold on or let go – aesc, pearl_o

Summary: Teenage telepath Charles Xavier takes a job as a consultant, working with prickly police detective Erik Lehnsherr. Charles is used to being on his own and taking care of himself; he has no reason to think that his relationship with this stern, icy man is going to change any of that. (Also known as: Tough Little Baby Telepath.)

MCIS: First Case – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr considers himself a great MCIS agent, and he puts up with a lot from his boss - Moira MacTaggart - in the name of solving crimes against mutants, but he's not so sure about this new empath, Charles Xavier. Their first case together will test Erik's patience, but doubtless be the beginning of a brilliant friendship.

MCIS: Fathers, Sons, and Brothers – Pookaseraph

Summary: Alex Summers has a single case that he has obsessed about ever since coming to MCIS two years ago: Su-M-94-0708-0034, the murder of Christopher and Katherine Summers, and the presumed kidnapping and possible murder of Scott Summers. Very little evidence was found at the time, but hopefully a new team - and new leads - can shed light on the case that left Alex an orphan.

When the Crazies come to town – Chinchillaatthedisc0

Summary: Erik is a surly detective with zero people skills who has just been assigned the murder case of Kurt Marko. Prime suspect? Charles xavier. Who's no where to be found.

My old man is a bad man – faerie_ground

Summary: Sebastian Shaw dies at two am in the morning with a dagger embedded in his forehead. Detective Erik Lehnsherr is on the case, and the number one suspect is the recently widowed Dr Charles Xavier, Sebastian Shaw's husband.

Deep Cover – Subtilior

Summary: Omegas in heat? The perfect whores. Sebastian Shaw? The bastard who kidnaps them for his Hellfire Club. Erik Lehnsherr? A hard-boiled detective who's been on the Hellfire case for months. The catastrophe that unfolds when he goes in on retrieval and finds Charles Xavier still writhing in a Hellfire bed? .... Deep Cover.

A Murder of Ravens – AbandonedWorld

Summary:Charles Xavier is wrongfully accused. Erik Lehnsherr is a top-notch homicide Lieutenant who stumbles upon the case of a lifetime: a serial killer targeting mutants–and only mutants. Charles bides his incarceration waiting on a miracle, reciting Poe's timeless gem in effort to retain his sanity...

Note: Unfinished

#cherik #cherik fic recs #fic recs #detective au #asks #earnestly answers #long post

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