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j0kers-light · 3 months

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Y/n being as crazy as Joker.....but can sorta hide it.

Imagine joker sitting at the table, trying to think of a way to carry out a robbery but every plan he thinks of had a fault and it's stressing him out. Without thinking y/n just blurts out a plan that is mind-blowing and perfect. She just says 'it's the voices in my head'.

However the plan goes left because some goon did something stupid. Joker gets caught by the batman and is sitting at the back of the police car in hand cuffs being sent to the asylum. When the police officer talks to him, he recognises the voice and the eyes from the rearview mirror and its his bunny blended in as a cop. Recklessly driving away and ending up in a car chase with many police cars and even a helicopter on their tail.

His Lighthouse: Paint the Town Red (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Paint the Town Red - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

OOOOOOOOOOh my GOSH! Thank you to the moon and back @chelsea-xxx2003 for your patience! This request was a long time coming but I love love love loved writing it! This request is so old it makes me wanna hide in the box of shame!

But anyhoo!!! I hope you enjoy my love! Thank you once again for your patience (omg😭 please don't hate me!!) and if its not to your tastes, let me know! I can try again!🖤✨

Of course the song that inspired the plot 🤭

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

The saying, “You are known by the company you keep” could be misconstrued in so many ways.

For how can someone say they truly know a person?

Joker felt that he knew you both inside and out; his stubborn yet highly intelligent Y/n. He loved you to a toxic degree and he knew the feelings were mutual.

He’d only known you for a year, but he knew the itty bitty details that made you unique. You were quiet when necessary and rowdy at the most inopportune times. Your literary skills were profound at the cost of your social prowess.

J loved how you stumbled your way through conversations and your cute little um’s were to die for! But if given a pen and paper, you could move the masses with your words.

In Joker’s eyes you were just shy of being perfect. Sweet, innocent—you couldn’t harm a fly. He thought he knew his soft-spoken Bunny.

Come to find out: he didn’t know you at all.

Your dining room table was a war zone of stationery and mindless clutter.

Joker had parked himself there early this morning and had not moved since. You brought him breakfast and snacks but he would only grumble a quick, “Thanks Bun” to you before resuming his work. He was so fixated on this new heist idea that nothing else mattered. He couldn’t focus on anything if it wasn’t the blueprints in front of him or his phone that would chime with more reliable intel.

Come to think of it, you didn’t see him take a bathroom break. This robbery couldn’t be that important. You tried to get his attention despite failing every time.

Nothing was getting through to your dark clown, so you stopped trying.

You could tell planning was stressing him out, but once J was in his thinking mode, either he would finish or throw a murderous tantrum until he figured it out. All you had to do was wait for the outcome.

In the meantime, something you loved about Joker was his handwriting. It resembled nothing of the infamous madman. His penmanship was legible and slightly feminine with hints of cursive in unexpected places. Only Joker could get away with writing slaughter in pretty script. You did not expect him to have neat writing. It was a huge contrast to his deranged mental state.

It was soothing to watch J hunch over his notebook plotting out his next heist. There were so many intricate details that ultimately found their way into his notes—and you got to see the magic unfold in real time. You almost missed him groaning at the ceiling. He finally stopped plotting and started mumbling to himself under his breath.

A tantrum was imminent, so you decided to intervene before he went out and started killing innocent people.

“What’s bothering you, J?” You asked him.

His stressed-out green eyes immediately found yours from across the room.

You watched his pupils dilate taking in your beauty. You tried not to let his awe-struck reaction get to your head and instead focused your attention on his response.

“It's nothing to worry that uh.. pretty little head of yours with, Bunny. Am I... bothering you sittin’ here?” He gestured to his mess at the table while raking a hand through his dirty hair.

He needed to wash it but if he was going out, he needed to dye it. You would miss his natural sun kissed strands until the green faded out. A pity he covered up something so beautiful.

You shook your head, walking closer to him. “You are never a bother, J. I just came to see if you needed anything. You know... like a break.”

You made grabby hands at Joker’s hair and waited for him to voice his consent.

With a happy squeal, you carded your fingers through his greasy locs. The texture was a bit unusual, but it was an honor to touch Joker in such an intimate way that you overlooked your own discomfort to establish his.

Joker’s head fell back against your stomach in bliss. Your nails felt so good on his scalp, all his thoughts about the upcoming mission just melted away.

It was crazy how you automatically knew how to calm him down. J purred under your touch and you smiled at the overgrown cat at your mercy. This man worked so hard, he never stopped to take breaks and care for himself. He was blessed to have you around to remind him.

Not much it did with the stubborn clown, but the thought was appreciated.

The snacks you brought J were left untouched except for the sugary treats you added last minute. Joker and his sweet tooth. You rolled your eyes and they landed on his scattered plans.

From your advantage point, you could read everything from over Joker’s shoulder.

The heist was thoroughly thought out even in its rough planning phase.

Joker planned to rob the mob run bank in downtown Gotham, but you noticed there was something missing to tie it all together. He couldn’t seem to figure out how to access the bank’s service panels on the roof. You skimmed over the goons’ hired for the job. They were familiar names from your past and you remembered their individual skill sets. You knew who needed to be where to extract their ultimate usefulness.

The heist was scheduled to be done at the day’s end so that Joker could blend in with the district's school buses that drove by the bank everyday like clockwork.

It was perfect. Too perfect, hence why Joker circled alarm panel three times in red marker at the top of his notes and underlined, eliminate idiots twice.

There were open gaps within his idea. He didn’t know how to fill them.

Your poor clown was overthinking this and his little doodles on the plan’s margins were a sign of his restlessness. The solution was so easy; you couldn’t stop yourself from spelling it out for him.

“Baby.. have John John and Razor zip-line from the adjacent office building down onto the roof. John John can access the alarm panel and disable it. He’s got more situational awareness than Razor, so he’ll regroup with the two idiots you stormed the bank with. Tell them... it's only five shares, they’ll off each other to hoard all the money for themselves. Greed will have them turning their guns on their own accomplices. You won’t have to do a thing but watch. Before the bus gets there, there should be only one guy left. That way...”

You leaned down to kiss Joker’s scarred cheek. “You can kill him and the bus driver and make off with the cash. Easy.”

You resumed stroking his hair as if you didn’t solve his day long conundrum.

It was a mind blowing and perfect plan, one that he could’ve crafted if he weren’t so stressed but coming from his Bunny—it was even more diabolical. It was a glimpse at a darker side of you that he’d never seen before. He honestly didn’t know one existed.

He turned to stare at you in disbelief and you had the audacity to look surprised.

“I’m sorry, did I scratch too hard?”

You were worried about his hair rather than the plan you just orchestrated on the fly. How did you string it together?

He glanced down at his unfinished notes scattered on the table. Frost still had trouble decoding Joker’s long code, it was so complex, but you managed to decipher it and fill in the blanks within minutes.

“Can ya read that doll?” J pointed to his notes.

Were you not supposed to? It was clear as day, but you didn’t want to hurt Joker’s feelings if he didn’t like his own handwriting or something.

Joker stood up slowly, seeing you hesitate. He hoped he was just overthinking this.

There was no way his precious Light was some secret criminal mastermind. You wouldn’t harm a fly, yet he couldn’t ignore how easily you read his coded text. No one was supposed to unless they had previous skill in certain circles.

You sensed a shift in Joker’s demeanor and quickly backtracked.

“Um well, I.... I mean not really, no! The um voices in my head.. kinda filled in the gaps? Perks of being a writer, I guess? We can read anything! You have pretty handwriting if that’s the problem! Haha.. Wow! Would you look at the time? A-Are you hungry? I was thinking lamb stew with some fufu for lunch!”

You laughed and all but sprinted towards the kitchen, leaving a perplexed Joker staring after you.

Perks of being a writer? Was he really supposed to believe that? Although he did blush at the compliment you made towards his penmanship. You somehow managed to talk your way out of his suspicions with your sweet nature.

Joker watched as you washed your hands and forgot about the odd moment altogether. Watching you cook was the perfect way to distract Joker. It must’ve been a fluke for you to be able to read his code.

But why did he have the feeling you were hiding something?

Your plan was so foolproof, Joker didn’t change a single thing.

The day of the hit came, and everything went smoothly as if you personally knew the mindset of his hired goons. They played their part as pawns perfectly and Joker was able to drive the school bus out of the bank with no issues. His Light was secretly a genius!

What neither of you predicted was the loyalty of the bus drivers in front and the one behind Joker’s decoy.

Despite the hush money given, they still snitched to the GCPD, and the authorities had Joker surrounded by the time he broke off from the fleet. He couldn’t put up much of a chase in the worn-down vehicle and was quickly apprehended.

There was nothing Joker could do to get himself out of being hauled back to Arkham by his arch-nemeses, Batman.

J’s triumphant day was instantly a catastrophic failure.

The caped crusader was standing around, giving Jim Gordon the rundown of events as if he did all the work. They were talking for almost an hour now with no end in sight! All Joker could think about in the meantime was how many strings he had to pull to break out of Arkham to get back home to you.

He didn’t want you to worry when the news of him being captured aired. It was an inevitable outcome within the relationship, one that you mentally prepared for; but Joker had always planned on saying goodbye should this situation arise.

Joker hardly gave you a kiss when he snuck out your apartment for this robbery. He was so confident in your plan that he didn’t fathom the possibility of being caught and skipped his traditional goodbye. It was a small mistake that he regretted terribly.

Without a doubt, Joker knew you would sit up all night waiting for him only for a breaking news bulletin to squash your hopes of his return.

Escapes from Arkham took careful planning months in advance and eight times out of ten, they ended in failure. Joker couldn’t survive a day without his Light. Now he would be separated from you for an undisclosed amount of time before he could even begin plotting an escape. He was screwed.

He banged his head against the window in anger. Jim and Batman glanced over at the noise and didn’t notice a rookie cadet snatch the handcuff keys away from Jim’s belt.

Joker’s world was crumbling fast and the voices in his head were making things worse.

What will Bunny think deserting her like this?

She’ll never love you again for leaving without a word.

You’re gonna lose her forever.

No one said anything about the rage filled tantrum Joker was having in the backseat. They could hear his yelling and saw how the car was rocking violently as he flipped out.

Batman spent enough time talking with the Commissioner. It was time to transport Joker before he grew too volatile and risked an escape attempt.

Jim turned around and got the attention of a cop he trusted. “Hey, Cruz! You and the rookie take the clown back to the precinct. We’ll follow after we finish here.”

Cruz nodded and slapped his newly appointed partner’s arm. “Hah! Let’s go rookie. You drive.”

Joker was still fighting against his restraints when he spotted the two cops approaching the vehicle.

He found it odd that Batman wasn’t escorting him straight to Arkham Island. Instead, two average looking police officers were tasked with the job. Much to his amusement, one of the cops stuck another with a needle about halfway to the car.

Cruz crumbled to the ground and was dragged out of view of the surrounding GCPD officers. It wasn’t an unusual sight to see a corrupted cop and for that Joker didn’t raise an eyebrow at the sight.

He grew curious when the rookie hopped into the car and cranked it up.

They didn’t waste any time stepping on the gas pedal and flooring it straight out of the parking lot. It was only after they drove through the police barricade did a fellow cop shout, “HEY!” thus alerting the squadron of the situation.

Shouts rang out in attempts to pierce the tires, but the cruiser was screeching away like a bat out of hell. Joker couldn’t balance himself being handcuffed as he was.

He tumbled roughly into the door and had a mind to complain about it. “Who taught ya how to drive?!”

He was unsure if this person was his savior but his answer came when other GCPD vehicles gave chase. Even more surprisingly, the Batmobile was not in pursuit just yet.

“I know how to drive, thank you very much.” The erratic driver mumbled towards the backseat.

Joker’s head shot up hearing the voice. There was no way.

Despite the fast speeds and harrowing turns, he managed to right his balance and peer through the dividing glass at the driver. Your e/c locked eyes with his shocked green through the rearview mirror.

“Y/n?” Joker was sent headfirst into the passenger side door after you made a sudden turn onto the highway, literally on two wheels. Okay that jerk felt a little intentional.

J shook off the pain and overheard you laughing in the front seat. He was in shock seeing this rare side of you. Was he dreaming?

Joker almost didn’t recognize his Bunny dressed undercover—mainly due to the scarlet red wig you wore. This had to be a dream. Your e/c eyes were wild with excitement and much to his horror, there was a natural ease to you.

You were in your element speeding down the highway with an apprehended criminal in the back seat.

The police cars caught up and opened fire, yet you laughed at their pathetic attempts even as a few gunshots cracked the back windows of your cruiser. The odds were stacked against you, however you continued, swerving in and out of traffic, causing wrecks and utter chaos in your wake.

You spotted a familiar SUV driving parallel to you and waved at the driver. Joker was about to ask if you knew them when they introduced themselves in a bold fashion.

Two men leaned out the backseat windows and returned fire at the police. Their aim was true and hit the police tires, stopping them in their tracks.

Joker was speechless. How was any of this happening?

His brain didn’t have time to process anything when a helicopter highlighted the car from above. You groaned in anger but reached over to grab a walkie talkie.

“Up top! Up top! Up top!” You chimed into the device.

Then it finally clicked to J. Somehow you were in on this daring escape. He didn’t care about his fate; you were the only concern on his mind.

Joker banged his bound hands onto the divider glass to get your attention. “Bunny! This is dangerous! Ya gotta stop!”

All you did was roll your eyes and scoff. “Mm that’s cute coming from you!” You shifted gears when you spotted something up ahead. “Thank God! Our backup has arrived!”

Joker glanced out the window and only saw Gotham civilians trying to get out the way and the all black SUV shooting back at the GCPD. That wasn’t backup? He didn’t understand anything at this point. The spotlight overhead was keeping you and him visible to the authorities so what could you possibly have in mind to escape?

“What are ya talkin’ about doll?! What backup?” Joker saw twin 18 wheelers up ahead open their hatches. His green eyes widened at the heat they were packing.

What he didn’t see was two more SUVs entering the highway, already aiming at the police helicopter with rockets.

In response to his question, all he received was your maniacal laughter as you reached one hundred and twenty miles per hour. From there, everything happened simultaneously.

You spotted the tank Batman called a car fast approaching and radioed to your men. “Light em up, boys.”

Your cruiser whizzed past the two trucks and the now three support SUVs at the precise moment they blocked the highway and unleashed their weaponry on the unsuspecting police.

It was a war zone. News outlets later on reported that the highway sustained so much damage, it would need to be repaved.

A brave civilian caught the battle from the southbound lanes on his cell phone and it was a literal massacre to witness.

The helicopter was shot down and exploded in a fireball onto the first two cop cars leading the chase. Once a wall of fire separated the GCPD from you and Joker’s getaway car, your goons opened fire and brutally murdered the rest of the fleet of police officers.

Batman tried to save the day but his tank suffered heavy structural damage from the RPGs and other arsenal fired at it.

The bat had no other choice but to flee the scene.

The authorities were severely outgunned and quickly outmanned by a few criminals. Jim Gordon was at the end of the chase and his face paled seeing the insignia painted on one of the 18 wheelers.

It was his cue to call out the immediate, fallback orders to his men. But it was already too late.

It had been decades since Jim Gordon had seen the haunting image of a cobra coiling around a bouquet of nightshade.

The Mors Atra Lux Syndicate. Their Latin translation meaning; death is a dark light. They were the deadliest gang in the east, dating back as far as the Great Roman Empire. And now their current leader was making their stand here in Gotham City by allying with The Joker.

The ominous air was palpable. This was the beginning to a very long bloodbath.

But it wasn’t that deep to you.

All you did was call in a favor the second you saw Joker landing himself into trouble during his heist. You were worried about his poor choice of a getaway vehicle right from the beginning. The school bus would help him blend in, but after separating from the yellow procession, he would be vulnerable.

And you couldn’t have been more correct. Through surveillance and radio, you watched Joker be apprehended. It was now or never, and you acted fast.

You called your uncle and exhausted your one-time favor to rescue Joker.

The consequences of your actions would sink in later. You didn’t care that asking for help was your Defacto swearing in ceremony into the gang. There was no way out once you got involved.

None of that mattered as you exited the highway and drove to the predetermined meet up spot. Joker had yet to stop yelling in your ear.

He was giving you a mouthful about the events that were unfolding around him. He too recognized the ancient gang’s insignia and its importance. The Mors Atra Lux Syndicate was the greatest active gang in the world and to have them as an ally was legendary.

His mind was still reeling to discover his Bunny was affiliated!

You screamed whenever there was a bug in the apartment. He shielded you from his own organization due to your intolerance to violence. That’s the Y/n he thought he knew.

His Light wasn’t pure as he thought.

That much was evident when you pulled into an abandoned junk yard, turned off the car, and faced him. “SHUT UP, J! Just.... be quiet, I can’t hear myself think!!” You closed your eyes as Joker stared at you in horror.

You were mumbling to yourself with an eerie smile on your face. Whatever you were discussing was resolved for you quickly composed yourself and grabbed the keys to unlock his handcuffs.

You joined him in the backseat and without hesitation, you grabbed Joker by the neck to kiss him.

He wished it was the interaction mutual but the shock factor of discovering your dark side was hindering his ability to function properly. Just how deep was your affiliation? Should he be intimidated or aroused?

You caught onto Joker’s wary demeanor.

You smoothed down his wind tossed hair, “I’m sorry baby, I’ll explain m-more later but right now? We need to get you somewhere safe.” Your attention wavered after hearing a car door close.

Joker sputtered seeing you pull a gun from your waistline. It even had a silencer on it, he was impressed!

Thankfully you didn’t need it, yet he knew you were a seasoned warrior based on your stance. This wasn’t your first rodeo. You had nothing but murder on the mind and a steady hand.

You recognized your first cousin Flex approaching from his armored SUV and lowered your weapon.

“Bella.” He nodded at you before giving Joker the up down. He wouldn’t judge your choice of a partner. “We’ll take care of him from here.” Flex noted.

Joker was positively mind blown. He waited until you freed his hands to ask. “Uhhhh.. Bella? Is that your err real name, Y/n?”

You and Flex snorted. You hugged your cousin and whispered something in his ear as Joker looked on, growing more and more annoyed by the second.

Finally, you replied to J’s question. “No. Its an honorific in our Syndicate. Flex will take you to your hideout. Don’t. Kill. Him. I won’t be able to save you if you anger the order. I’ll see you at home for dinner, okay J?”

You kissed him one more time and smoothed out his suit, as if you didn’t pull off a highly dangerous recovery mission to free him.

Joker’s head was spinning as you urged him to follow Flex back to the car. Nothing made sense. Everything Joker thought he knew about you was apparently a lie.

You were already destroying the cruiser’s license plate and removing your wig to revert back to your harmless civilian look. You fluffed out your natural curls and then proceeded to coat the cop car in gasoline. The fire started inside the vehicle as Flex cranked up his SUV.

Joker watched you stay behind, staring at the growing flames with that eerie smile on your face. He was staring at a stranger. A devil in disguise. He thought he knew his soft-spoken Bunny.

Come to find out: he didn’t know you at all.

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starlittheory · 4 months

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Thinking about Hazbin Hotel, specifically Alastor’s verse in Finale

The verse starts with the line “This place reeks of death, there’s a chill in the air, and I barely escaped being killed by a hair” At first I thought that Alastor was talking about the smell of death because he is walking through a battlefield of slaughtered angels, but the denizens of Hell would smell death after every extermination, so it wouldn’t be something new to Alastor. In episode 7 Alastor is shown to hang around Cannibal Town which would constantly smell of death which makes the mention of the smell seem out of place for him. Charlie also comments on the smell of Hell during the song "A Happy Day in Hell" with the line “It’s a realm so appealing it beats anywhere, if you don't mind the smell”. I believe that during “Finale”, Alastor brings up the smell because the hotel now reeks of his death. Alastor sees himself as incredibly powerful and fully thought that he was going to be the one to kill Adam, so his view of himself was severely shaken when he was defeated and almost killed. He is grieving his own death because he has never been so close to it before. It’s hard for him to stand in the wreckage of the hotel because the land is now stained with the memory of him almost dying. Which makes being inside his old radio tower feel cold and off putting.

The next line of the song is “Great Alastor, Altruist, died for his friends. Sorry to disappoint, that is not where this ends” and I have seen a ton of people talking about this line. If you watch Hazbin Hotel with the subtitles on you will notice that this is the only one of Alastor's lyrics to be put in quotations, which means that he is not saying it, he is quoting someone else. To me this line reads as a headline for either a newspaper or a radio broadcast. Alastor is predicting what would have been said if Adam killed him. He is saying that other people in hell would see him as an altruist and would assume that the people in the hotel were his friends since he died “protecting” them. But that's not what actually happened because Alastor is not an Altruist. An altruist is someone who is devoted to the wellbeing of other people, but Alastor was fighting Adam to show off his strength. Alastor is very distraught while he sings about being remembered, he runs his hands through his hair and looks around frantically. He does not want to be remembered as an altruist because that would ruin his image as a powerful overlord. Alastor says that this is not where his story ends because he is going to prove that he is not weak or an altruist. I love Alastor and I believe that deep down he likes being surrounded by the members of the hotel, but he definitely does not consider them to be friends.

He then continues saying “I'm hungry for freedom like never before. The constraints of my deal surely have a backdoor”. Being face to face with double death has made Alastor realize that he needs to speed up the process of finding a loophole. If he can get out of his deal and gain his autonomy and power back then he will be less likely to face double death again. Alastor is a demon known to make deals as is shown in the pilot when Vaggie warns Charlie to never make a deal with him (even though they both end up making a deal). Alastor is most likely at the Hotel to either use Charlie’s power to get out of the deal or to fulfill it. During episode 7’s song “Ready for This” Alastor tells Rosie “She's filled with potential that I could guide”telling me that he is definitely interested in her power. I find it hard to believe Alastor would stick around the hotel for pure “entertainment” purposes after he was defeated by Adam, especially after seeing how upset he was during this song.

Finally, his last lyric is “Once I figure out how to unclip my wings. Guess who will be pulling all the strings”. Clipping the wings of birds is a practice done so that they cannot fly away and leave the owner. Later on, the wings can grow back, but by that time the bird would have learned not to leave. It's a means of keeping the bird trapped and reliant on the owner. He is not saying that he had literal wings, he is using a metaphor to demonstrate his tie to whoever has him on a leash. The second half of the line indicates that Alastor will be more powerful after he gets out of his deal. We do not yet know the details of Alastors deal, but I believe that Alastor will be more powerful because he will get his autonomy back. In the show we see Husk and Angel Dust also on leashes and we know that they have lost a good chunk of their free will. In “Loser, Baby”, Husk sings “I sold my sold to save my power” probably because he was down on his luck and had nothing left to gamble but his soul. So far we have not seen Alastor lose as much of his autonomy as Angel and Husk have, except for the fact that he has been gone for 7 years. I cannot wait to find out who Alastor is chained to and the details of his deal.

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #ramblings #alastor #radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor altruist

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azure-cherie · 2 years

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Sylvia Plath for each zodiac

Aries

Burning the Letters

I made a fire; being tired Of the white fists of old Letters and their death rattle When I came too close to the wastebasket. What did they know that I didn’t ? Grain by grain, they unrolled Sands where a dream of clear water Grinned like a getaway car. I am not subtle Love, love, and well, I was tired Of cardboard cartons the color of cement or a dog pack Holding in its hate Dully, under a pack of men in red jackets, And the eyes and times of the postmarks. This fire may lick and fawn, but it is merciless: A glass case My fingers would enter although They melt and sag, they are told Do not touch. And here is an end to the writing, The spry hooks that bend and cringe, and the smiles, the smiles. And at least it will be a good place now, the attic. At least I won’t be strung just under the surface, Dumb fish With one tin eye, Watching for glints, Riding my Arctic Between this wish and that wish.

This fire may lick and fawn, but it is merciless: A glass case My fingers would enter although They melt and sag, they are told Do not touch. And here is an end to the writing, The spry hooks that bend and cringe, and the smiles, the smiles. And at least it will be a good place now, the attic. At least I won’t be strung just under the surface, Dumb fish With one tin eye, Watching for glints, Riding my Arctic Between this wish and that wish.

So I poke at the carbon birds in my housedress. They are more beautiful than my bodiless owl, They console me — Rising and flying, but blinded. They would flutter off, black and glittering, they would be coal angels Only they have nothing to say to anybody. I have seen to that. With the butt of a rake I flake up papers that breathe like people, I fan them out Between the yellow lettuces and the German cabbage Involved in its weird blue dreams, Involved as a foetus. And a name with black edges.

Wilts at my foot, Sinuous orchis In a nest of root-hairs and boredom — Pale eyes, patent-leather gutturals! Warm rain greases my hair, extinguishes nothing. My veins glow like trees. The dogs are tearing a fox. This is what it is like — A red burst and a cry That splits from its ripped bag and does not stop With the dead eye And the stuffed expression, but goes on Dyeing the air, Telling the particles of the clouds, the leaves, the water What immortality is. That it is immortal.

Taurus

Rhyme

I’ve got a stubborn goose whose gut’s Honeycombed with golden eggs, Yet won’t lay one. She, addled in her goose-wit, struts The barnyard like those taloned hags Who ogle men

And crimp their wrinkles in a grin, Jangling their great money bags. While I eat grits She fattens on the finest grain. Now, as I hone my knife, she begs Pardon, and that’s

So humbly done, I’d turn this keen Steel on myself before profit By such a rogue’s Act, but—how those feathers shine!Exit from a smoking slit Her ruby dregs.

Gemini

Two Views of a Cadaver Room

(1)

The day she visited the dissecting room They had four men laid out, black as burnt turkey, Already half unstrung. A vinegary fume Of the death vats clung to them; The white-smocked boys started working. The head of his cadaver had caved in, And she could scarcely make out anything In that rubble of skull plates and old leather. A sallow piece of string held it together.

In their jars the snail-nosed babies moon and glow. He hands her the cut-out heart like a cracked heirloom.

(2)

In Brueghel’s panorama of smoke and slaughter Two people only are blind to the carrion army: He, afloat in the sea of her blue satin Skirts, sings in the direction Of her bare shoulder, while she bends, Fingering a leaflet of music, over him, Both of them deaf to the fiddle in the hands Of the death’s-head shadowing their song. These Flemish lovers flourish; not for long.

Yet desolation, stalled in paint, spares the little country Foolish, delicate, in the lower right hand corner.

Cancer

The Everlasting Monday

Thou shalt have an everlasting Monday and stand in the moon.

The moon’s man stands in his shell, Bent under a bundle Of sticks. The light falls chalk and cold Upon our bedspread. His teeth are chattering among the leprous Peaks and craters of those extinct volcanoes.

He also against black frost Would pick sticks, would not rest Until his own lit room outshone Sunday’s ghost of sun; Now works his hell of Mondays in the moon’s ball, Fireless, seven chill seas chained to his ankle.

Leo

By Candlelight

This is winter, this is night, small love— A sort of black horsehair, A rough, dumb country stuff Steeled with the sheen Of what green stars can make it to our gate. I hold you on my arm. It is very late. The dull bells tongue the hour. The mirror floats us at one candle power.

This is the fluid in which we meet each other, This haloey radiance that seems to breathe And lets our shadows wither Only to blow Them huge again, violent giants on the wall. One match scratch makes you real. At first the candle will not bloom at all — It snuffs its bud To almost nothing, to a dull blue dud.

I hold my breath until you creak to life, Balled hedgehog, Small and cross. The yellow knife Grows tall. You clutch your bars. My singing makes you roar. I rock you like a boat Across the Indian carpet, the cold floor, While the brass man Kneels, back bent, as best he can

Hefting his white pillar with the light That keeps the sky at bay, The sack of black! It is everywhere, tight, tight! He is yours, the little brassy Atlas — Poor heirloom, all you have, At his heels a pile of five brass cannonballs, No child, no wife. Five balls! Five bright brass balls! To juggle with, my love, when the sky falls.

Virgo

Virgin in a tree

How this tart fable instructsAnd mocks! Here's the parody of that moral mousetrapSet in the proverbs stitched on samplersApproving chased girls who get them to a treeAnd put on bark's nun-black

Habit which deflects All amorous arrows. For to sheathe the virgin shapeIn a scabbard of wood baffles pursuers,Whether goat-thighed or god-haloed. Ever since that first DaphneSwitched her incomparable back

For a bay-tree hide, respect'sTwined to her hard limbs like ivy: the puritan lipCries: 'Celebrate Syrinx whose demursWon her the frog-colored skin, pale pith and wateryBed of a reed. Look:

Pine-needle armor protectsPitys from Pan's assault! And though age drop Their leafy crowns, their fame soars,Eclipsing Eva, Cleo and Helen of Troy:For which of those would speak

For a fashion that constrictsWhite bodies in a wooden girdle, root to topUnfaced, unformed, the nipple-flowersShrouded to suckle darkness? Only theyWho keep cool and holy make

A sanctum to attract Green virgins, consecrating limb and lipTo chastity's service: like prophets, like preachers,They descant on the serene and seraphic beautyOf virgins for virginity's sake.'

Be certain some such pact'sBeen struck to keep all glory in the gripOf ugly spinsters and barren sirsAs you etch on the inner window of your eyeThis virgin on her rack:

She, ripe and unplucked, 'sLain splayed too long in the tortuous boughs: overripeNow, dour-faced, her fingers Stiff as twigs, her body woodenly Askew, she'll ache and wake

Though doomsday bud. Neglect'sGiven her lips that lemon-tasting droop:Untongued, all beauty's bright juice sours.Tree-twist will ape this gross anatomyTill irony's bough break.

Libra

Epitaph for Fire and Flower

You might as well haul up This wave’s green peak on wire To prevent fall, or anchor the fluent air In quartz, as crack your skull to keep These two most perishable lovers from the touch That will kindle angels’ envy, scorch and drop Their fond hearts charred as any match.

Seek no stony camera-eye to fix The passing dazzle of each face In black and white, or put on ice Mouth’s instant flare for future looks; Stars shoot their petals, and suns run to seed, However you may sweat to hold such darling wrecks Hived like honey in your head.

Hatched with a claret hogshead to swig He kings it, navel-knit to no groan, But at the price of a pin-stitched skin Fish-tailed girls purchase each white leg.

Mouth’s instant flare for future looks; Stars shoot their petals, and suns run to seed, However you may sweat to hold such darling wrecks Hived like honey in your head.

Now in the crux of their vows hang your ear, Still as a shell: hear what an age of glass These lovers prophesy to lock embrace Secure in museum diamond for the stare Of astounded generations; they wrestle To conquer cinder’s kingdom in the stroke of an hour And hoard faith safe in a fossil.

But though they’d rivet sinews in rock And have every weathercock kiss hang fire As if to outflame a phoenix, the moment’s spur Drives nimble blood too quick For a wish to tether: they ride nightlong In their heartbeats’ blazing wake until red cock Plucks bare that comet’s flowering.

Dawn snuffs out star’s spent wick, Even as love’s dear fools cry evergreen, And a languor of wax congeals the vein No matter how fiercely lit; staunch contracts break And recoil in the altering light: the radiant limb Blows ash in each lover’s eye; the ardent look Blackens flesh to bone and devours them.

Scorpio

November Graveyard

The scene stands stubborn: skinflint trees Hoard last year’s leaves, won’t mourn, wear sackcloth, or turn To elegiac dryads, and dour grass Guards the hard-hearted emerald of its grassiness However the grandiloquent mind may scorn Such poverty. No dead men’s cries

Flower forget-me-nots between the stones Paving this grave ground. Here’s honest rot To unpick the heart, pare bone Free of the Fictive vein. When one stark skeleton Bulks real, all saints’ tongues fall quiet: Flies watch no resurrections in the sun.

At the essential landscape stare, stare Till your eyes foist a vision dazzling on the wind: Whatever lost ghosts flare, Damned, howling in their shrouds across the moor Rave on the leash of the starving mind Which peoples the bare room, the blank, untenanted air.

Saggitarius

Maenad

Once I was ordinary: Sat by my father’s bean tree Eating the fingers of wisdom. The birds made milk. When it thundered I hid under a flat stone.

The mother of mouths didn’t love me. The old man shrank to a doll. O I am too big to go backward: Birdmilk is feathers, The bean leaves are dumb as hands.

This month is fit for little. The dead ripen in the grapeleaves. A red tongue is among us. Mother, keep out of my barnyard, I am becoming another.

Dog-head, devourer: Feed me the berries of dark. The lids won’t shut. Time Unwinds from the great umbilicus of the sun Its endless glitter.

I must swallow it all.

Lady, who are these others in the moon’s vat— Sleepdrunk, their limbs at odds? In this light the blood is black. Tell me my name.

Capricorn

Recantation

‘Tea leaves I’ve given up, And that crooked line On the queen’s palm Is no more my concern. On my black pilgrimage This moon-pocked crystal ball Will break before it help; Rather than croak out What’s to come, My darling ravens are flown.

‘Forswear those freezing tricks of sight And all else I’ve taught Against the flower in the blood: Not wealth nor wisdom stands Above the simple vein, The straight mouth. Go to your greenhorn youth Before time ends And do good With your white hands.’

Aquarius

Insomniac

The night sky is only a sort of carbon paper, Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars Letting in the light, peephole after peephole — A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things. Under the eyes of the stars and the moon’s rictus He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions.

Over and over the old, granular movie Exposes embarrassments—the mizzling days Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams, Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful, A garden of buggy roses that made him cry. His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks. Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars.

He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue— How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening! Those sugary planets whose influence won for him A life baptized in no-life for a while, And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby. Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods. Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good.

His head is a little interior of gray mirrors. Each gesture flees immediately down an alley Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance Drains like water out the hole at the far end. He lives without privacy in a lidless room, The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations.

Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments. Already he can feel daylight, his white disease, Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions. The city is a map of cheerful twitters now, And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank, Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.

Pisces

The Sleepers

No map traces the street Where those two sleepers are. We have lost track of it. They lie as if under water In a blue, unchanging light, The French window ajar

Curtained with yellow lace. Through the narrow crack Odors of wet earth rise. The snail leaves a silver track; Dark thickets hedge the house. We take a backward look.

Among petals pale as death And leaves steadfast in shape They sleep on, mouth to mouth. A white mist is going up. The small green nostrils breathe, And they turn in their sleep.

Ousted from that warm bed We are a dream they dream. Their eyelids keep the shade. No harm can come to them. We cast our skins and slide Into another time.

Thank you 💕

#sylvia plath #sylvia plath poem #zodiac #astro community #astrology #aries zodiac #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #saggitarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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remma-demma · 6 months

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I think I’ve always known this instinctually since playing shadowbringers but going back and reading the lyrics to To the Edge and Shadowbringers really punches you in the gut with “THIS IS A BIBLICAL ALLEGORY” but like, in a fun supernatural esq way. Not even mentioning all of the allusions in Pandaemonium and it’s songs (hell, the name itself)

They literally name drop Paradise Lost in shadowbringers 😔

If you want to hear some examples they’re in the cut below.

From Shadowbringers (in general)

-obsession with sin

-angels being corrupted by light

- Ascians straying from God’s Light ™ (Hydaelyn)

- I guess this makes Hydaelyn God ™, Elidibus Lucifer (bright one), Zodiark Satan and….. the wol Jesus???? I fucking guess?????

- Ascians being Upsetti Spaghetti that Hydaelyn (god) chose humanity over them. (Although there were extenuating circumstances understandably, we Stan Hydaelyn in this household.)

Shadowbringers (Song)

- Here proud angels bathe in their wages of blood (rejoinings)

- This entire part (demons being agents of free will (authors of their own fates), defiance, literally name dropping paradise lost)

- HOOOOOOME (isn’t the whole point of demons that they want to recreate their life before they fell but like. In a way that says fuck god tho)

- We fall (pretty clear allusion)

To the Edge

- Like broken angels, wingless, cast from heavens gate (obvious) (also: no longer shall man have wings to carry him. Henceforth he shall walk)

- We only fly when falling, falling far from grace (also obvious)

- Scions and Sinners

- This (isn’t casting stones a biblical thing? Also lambs being gods children and being led to the slaughter because they have no free will and AT THE MERCY OF THOSE WHO PLY THE SWORD. SUNDERING, BABY!!)

- On hands and knees we pray to gods we’ve never seen (not necessarily a biblical thing except for praying but I would like to point out this is probably about zodiark because they had no idea if it would actually work.)

Bonus: Pandaemonium

(Warning here’s where a lot of the references are things I probably won’t get but I’ll try my best. Also obviously there’s a shit ton of Greek mythology references but I’ll ignore those for now.

- Name, obvious. All Demons, Lucifer’s palace in Paradise Lost / hell’s capitol.

- You go there with Elidibus :3

- Prison for Bad Things (hell)

- some of the arenas are called *blank* purgatory

- When the castle gets teleported to the source in the third tier it’s literally called The Dæmons Nest. Okay. (Also the theme for the gate is called “Where Dæmons Abide”)

- Just. Every lyric from Hic Svnt Leones. Really let’s you know You’re in Hell Now! Enjoy being tortured for eternity! Bye bye now!

- Same goes for Scream. “Fractured will” “With each bite does your sanity die” “say a prayer as the light leaves your eyes. Scream all you like your gods can’t hear you”

- More hell vibes from White Stone Black

- One Amongst the Weary/The Tireless One, false prophets, manipulating the masses, etc etc.

- Fleeting moment… BWAHHHHH. If To the Edge was fighting Lucifer, king of Demons, this is fighting Lucifer, God’s favorite little meow meow. (Hmm.. they both wear white robes…) Something something balance because he’s been both the Most Pure ™ and the Most Corrupted ™. ALSO sorry if I’m mistaken but wasn’t Lucifer described as like the hottest most prettiest most attractive person ever. I mean, look at him. He’s so gender it’s crazy.

Unrelated to biblical stuff but I can’t help but want to make lyrics for that song that are happier than those of To the Edge :( Something about Hope and Balance and “I will never die” (sure buddy keep telling yourself that)

#I am not a biblical scholar or even really religious but I was raised catholic and watched a fuck ton of supernatural #and I’ve heard about paradise lost and what it entails (I know its not biblical canon but it’s culturally canon)#ffxiv #shadowbringers #Elidibus #emet selch #wol #Pandaemonium #endwalker #hydaelyn #venat #Themis #paradise lost #I kissa u #(lidibus)#final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #my post

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only-a-heartbeat-away · 1 year

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day 262 - a song that makes you think of your past

#this was one of my former best friend’s favorite songs and i can’t listen to it anymore without thinking of him and our friendship #we didn’t have a falling out or anything but i’d really rather not get into it #music365 #audio

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sofullofloveicould · 1 year

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march writing challenge 2023 - day 20

a song that makes you believe in love

Even if I had to leave Heaven, I would still fly down to you. Teeth bared, arms open.

You are wretched.

A goddess in red, shattered between my teeth like hard candy. I would look in the mirror, and see the proof of our sin, let it water the gardens of Eden.

I could work your screams like magic, weave them in a tapestry to keep me warm under the stars. I would sleep on the steps to your palace, and wait for my time. There are rings on your fingers, the kind that work around my neck in sleep.

I will slip into you like a blanket, your taste and feel, and it will feel like coming home. I will run from God for it, I will leave my wings for you.

Darling, you’re the devil I know and the angel I love, you’re the love held just behind my heart. I do not need to be loved by you, merely being close is enough. I am filled to the point of bursting with your lonesome.

I have come to be lonesome with you, by day or by night, in a million stolen moments. I would run with you, away from salvation and into your open arms, holding my innocence by the neck. We could choke her out together, and drink her screams like the blood of God.

We would pretend it was more than wine in a chalice, and I could drink it from you instead and have it be real.

I cannot bear to be apart from you, and we will nurse every second from the Mother, and we would die together and live together until the air goes cold. I am the serpent in the apple tree, and we could tear into the sweet flesh, we could taste a forbidden taste, and we could run together, out past the wood and the world, and that fatal picnic could be out last.

A poisoned apple is still a sweet one until the last bite, and you may find it rotted from the core. But it is love, true as the sea, whole as a life with you in it.

Our hands fit together like they were meant to, and our bodies fit in that secret way bodies do, like a sock to a babe’s foot.

We are tragic, a winter storm through the desert, we are a twin pair of birds, a flock of our own, twin bullets arcing through an acid night.

But it cannot be anything but precious, not with your lips so sweet my teeth must be rotting, falling out, and I know you would still love the gummy mess of me, so rich and fattened on your love.

When I have turned my back on sainthood, run from nirvana to the pounding of drums, there will be a spot for me, warmed by your breath, nestled in the corner of your heart.

It is a fleshy, predictable, human thing, and it beats to the same rhythm as mine, one that aches and weeps and begs.

We both know it, and when we fall, we could be as tired as the wind of blowing, but we would find each other again, and again, until the leaves under our feet rot to nothing, and the nightime bleeds into our veins.

Sacrificial lambs to the slaughter, the sky to earth, me to you, we are drawn by an invisible hand, pulled by the same string we will tie ourselves up with, and we will die still together. If there is a sword to which you wish to fall, find me first. You will know where to search for me, I will be where barley sours to beer, where the gardens of Eden hide, for a world without you is not one at all.

#hozier #music #from eden #religion #religious metaphors #there are some metaphors in here #religous themes #if there's one thing about me it's that I love some grotesque body imagery #religious trauma #it's not there but that's the audience for this #30 day writing challenge #my writing #writing challenge #writing #30dwc #writers on tumblr #march writing challenge #Spotify

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greeneyezblackheart · 2 years

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Put your mp3/ipod on shuffle and name the first 5 songs you stumble upon.

how much time a day do you spend listening to music?

Ok, I’m using my trusty iPod classic which has over 15,000 songs on it…

(Shows you how diverse my music tastes are, lol)

Every night, before bed I listen to music. I don’t know what I would do without my Spotify account. I’m usually Izzying as well. That’s what I call my imaginary scenarios that I make up in my head featuring yours truly and Izzy (of course). As in, “I’m about to get in my bed and start my nightly Izzying.” Yes, I’m aware that I’m fucked up in the head. 😬🤷🏻‍♀️ This goes on for a couple hours most nights. And during the day, I listen to music while doing other stuff: cleaning house, driving somewhere, showering, etc. I couldn’t give you an exact amount of time that I spend listening to music, but just know I spend alot of time doing it.

Unusual Music Ask

#kk 😽

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coldstarfishcomputer · 2 years

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My favorite lyrics from each song off Birdie by Slaughter Beach, Dog

Phoenix: And at last, we'd see each other

In the way that we had dreamed to be seen

Gold and Green: Empty milk gallon graveyard, recycling rockstars

Soldiers of the lord

Pretty O.K. : We sat down on his bed; the sunset gave way to the stars

Then, Lewis taught me how to play guitar

Bad Beer: I can't take all these locals, Annie

When all they do is scoff at us

Shapes I Know: Blows her breath out on the window

Use her finger to fill in

The frame with shapes she knows

Sleepwalking: Angeles riddles me this

“¿Por qué completar sus clases?”

Fish Fry: Assessing my thoughts

Completing emotional calculations

Deriving psychological sums and suffering slow

Buttercup: We wait for your ride

With you standing by my side

And you know it ain't me that you need

Friend Song: But I'm often afraid

and anxious that all this is endless

Living inside spaces where all disagreements

are ever-so-briefly suspended

Acolyte: We could fly to Ireland

You know I’m good for the ticket

Try to smirk, but you’re smiling

Know I'll stick with it

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euesworld · 3 years

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"I'll try to walk this lonely road with an angel over my shoulder telling me what is right and wrong, an angels eyes stare back at me in the mirror and I feel it so strong.. fly to the angels under stars bright with the moon, and when we consume all that was lost.. the angels will see our pain so heavenly, bringing all of our dreams from the lost city of Babylon."

Now I'm here and I'm all alone, trying so hard to make you see - eUë

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godsofhumanity · 4 years

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Persephone

Persephone | Heaven awaits your heart and flowers bloom in your name.

#sorry i changed it rip #persephone #silverstonemanor #song: fly to the angels (slaughter)#ask games

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omgitsshrimp · 2 years

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Attack on titan OP 7 - Lyric and Image Interpretation

So I’m going to go through the lyrics for the new op and the accompanying images that played along with the lyrics that I feel have significant meaning or implications.

So here we go:

So two of the very first shots in the op are of a close up of Eren’s feet starting to walk, then before Eren’s foot touches the ground it quickly cuts to the foot of a colossal titan stepping on the ground. This is portraying Eren’s direct involvement with the rumbling. It’s happening because of him and he is responsible for it. He’s not being controlled or manipulated to do this, he chose this path.

All I ever wanted to do was do right things,

I never wanted to be the king, I swear

Eren is affirming that he never wanted anything bad like the rumbling to happen. He always just wanted to do right by his people. He just wanted freedom for himself and those he cares for.

As for the second line, I already made a post about what I think about it here , so you can read my thoughts on that, but basically I feel like Eren and Historia may be married and thats why Eren is referring to himself as a king. I don’t think Eren married Hisu for the sake of being a monarch, but simply because he loves her, and that what I think he means by that line.

He’s basically saying: ‘I just wanted to do good things, live free, marry the person I love without all the BS attached, a simple life, thats it, I swear.

In the op, it shows Eren walking and there are white birds near by, but they aren’t going near him. One bird is shown flying in the opposite direction that Eren is going. The white birds represent good, nonviolence, peace. Eren has chosen a course of action that is the antithesis of that, ie the rumbling.

Eren is shown walking between light and dark. He has a choice of what to do, what path to take. In the next shot he is shown walking but with black birds flying with him in the same direction. Black birds represent a darker path, violence, death. Eren has chosen the darker path.

All I ever wanted to do was save your life,

I never wanted to grab a knife, I swear

Alot of people are interpreting this as Eren referring to that time he killed the kidnappers to save Mikasa, and I don’t entirely disagree. But I do feel like this can also apply to Historia. Eren has expressed multiple times that he refuses to sacrifice Historia and wants to save her from becoming a titan. But he’s also expressing that what he wanted was to save her life, he didn’t want the rumbling.

Eren is desperately trying to affirm that he did not want the violence, he only wanted good. It’s like he’s desperate to convince himself of his morality. Like he’s trying to hold on to his ‘goodness’ in a way.

**(The next images in the op are basically just exposition. It’s just going through all the titans/titan shifters as a sort of role call. So I’m not going to try to interpret those shots.)**

Tearless, fearless, burning, burning

This is describing Eren doing the rumbling I think. He’s not crying, he’s not afraid. The rumbling is burning and trampling everything on earth and he’s sustaining his conviction.

You tell me what have I missed,

Still wandering in the deep mist

I feel like this is referring to the fact that Eren hasn’t seen all the furure memories. He knows things, but maybe not everything. So in a sense he’s still wandering through events, moving toward the end, after the rumbling is completed.

If I lose it all, slip and fall

I will never look away

When the phrase “lose it all” comes up in the song, I think it’s just a way of saying “if I kill all these people”. When he says “slip and fall”, I feel like it might refer to Eren’s fall from grace. He was once a trusted comrade of the scouts and now they’re essentially enemies. He was once fighting for humanity against the titans (in seasons 1, 2 and 3) and now he’s going to use titans to slaughter humanity. It ties into op 4 “like a fallen angel” (Red Swan).

When he says he’ll never look away, I think he’s expressing his resoluteness on doing the rumbling and completing it.

This shot in the op is of Eren/youngEren standing in the sky looking in awe. It also shows an image of someone holding a knife to stab someone. I believe it’s the moment that Eren killed the kidnappers in season 1. That was the first time Eren ever killed anyone. That was the moment he lost his innocence as a child, and I guess they’re drawing parallels between that moment and Eren doing the rumbling. Perhaps this shot illustrates what Eren said to Zeke in paths, “I’ve always been like this...”, when he explained he won’t hesitate to take someone else’s freedom if they’re trying to take his.

As the line “lose it all” repeats, we’re shown shots of the people outside the wall. Basically this is illustrating the meaning of the phrase “lose it all” (as stated earlier). It means, “if I kill everyone”, and the visual tells us who Eren is referring to when this line is heard. Which brings me to the next shot.

If the phrase “lose it all” means “if I kill...”, and the image tells us who he’s referring to, then It’s fair to theorize that this shot implies that he may be of the mindset of sacrificing his friends to complete the rumbling.

Personally, I feel like Eren will end up killing his friends, even Mikasa. In fact I think Mikasa’s death is meant to have an extremely sad impact on us, the audience. That’s why I feel like they focused on her after this shot.

If I lose it all outside the wall,

Live to die another day.

He’s once again talking about killing everyone outside the walls with the rumbling. When he says “live to die another day”, I think this alludes to Eren possibly knowing something about the future that keeps him going. Or it can refer to the fact that if he completes the rumbling paradis will live on, but it doesn’t make sense with the “die another day” part. So that’s what makes me think Eren is aware of something (this is just speculation, maybe he made a deal with Ymir?), that implies a situation where if he completes the rumbling, he will survive and maybe even be rid of the titan curse. This is just a guess tho.

This shot shows the childhood memories Eren has with Armin and Mikasa, but when they’re standing in front of the tree, Armin and Mikasa disappear, leaving Eren standing alone. This could be illustrating that Eren is on his own, his friends aren’t by his side fighting with him anymore, theyre on opposite sides.

It could also allude to Armin and Mikasa dying and Eren being the only one left. Like, if the scenario of Eren killing all his friends happens, story-wise, it would be Armin and Mikasa who would be the last to die because it would be the climax of the conflict, and serve as a huge moment in Eren’s character arc.

I don’t want anything

I’m just here to...

This could be saying that Eren is very focused on his goal, he doesn’t want to do anything else except, complete the rumbling. He can’t be swayed by anyone at this point. He’s just here to kill people and get it over with.

This obviously shows Eren’s pain over the whole situation. He’s also facing the dark, the sun is behind him. In an earlier shot, we saw his friends facing the sun. I think this may show their differing perspectives on the world, and foreshadow the inevitable clash that will ensue between them.

The last shots are of a colossal titan’s foot print with blood, showing someone died. Then it quickly cuts to a human footprint, with a crushed butterfly underneath. So obviously the crushed butterfly represents a person who’s been killed (in the rumbling). These shots tie in full circle to the first shots of the op. Eren is responsible for this and, although he doesn’t want it, he feels compelled to do it for some reason. Like this is the only way forward for whatever his specific end goal is.

My guess is that his goal is freedom, to break the cycle of hate and end it all once and for all because he does not want future generations to have to shoulder these burdens.

And that conlcudes my op 7 interpretation. Feel free to let me know what you think. Be kind, please. Thanks for reading! And please credit me if you refer or use snippets of my work, thanks!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Eren Jaeger #Historia Reiss #eren x historia #aot #snk #levi ackerman #erehisu

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krsonmar · 3 years

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I just realized something that needs to be remedied: Guillermo doesn't have gear. He has his cool vampire-killing getup with the vest and the gloves and whatnot--because practically speaking, you just cannot slaughter an undead horde in the same outfit you've been cleaning the house in (at least not intentionally, although having him have to unexpectedly fend off an invasion of the house siege-style in a sweater and cleaning apron with some plastic gloves would be awesome too)--but he doesn't have an arsenal. He doesn't even have a sweet ride; there's no Batmobile or Mystery Machine, I mean do the vampires even own a car, or is he renting one whenever he needs one?

Although as another quick tangent, I'd suggest the most nondescript, boringly mundane vehicle ever for him because it's all he can afford and maintain. He needs a deep burgundy-red 1990s-era Chrysler minivan and he likes to keep scribbled-on mix CDs that he makes for the ancient sound system. One is a mix of battle music--and yes, it includes Dragula by Rob Zombie and maybe some mid-2000s My Chemical Romance, because we all know the little weirdo makes up fight playlists for himself for fun--and another of stuff that makes him think about Nandor because of course Guillermo himself has a Nandermo playlist.

Basically, he really can't have some sweet ride, practically speaking, because Sean and Charmaine, dumb as they are, and the rest of the neighborhood, will notice if he has a hearse with red LED undercarriage lights always blaring Rob Zombie parked outside, that just draws too much attention, so if he has a slayermobile it needs to be as lame as possible. This just means he needs an arsenal all the more. He needs to be able to have cool toys when there's about to be a big boss fight so we can have a gearing-up-and-hyping-up montage set to AC/DC or something. Here are my ideas:

The minivan has a rosary hanging from the mirror. Everyone thinks it's a regular "don't fly faster than your guardian angel can drive" kind of thing, which is the point; in reality, it's a good way to disguise his car's vampire-proofing system.

He also tried making mix CDs of gospel and Christian contemporary music he can blare out the window of the van with a speaker to scatter crowds or chase them out of the way for a quick getaway. Anything that keeps talking about either God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit or quoting scripture works, but it can’t be any of those songs that sound like they’re about a dating relationship so they’ll get radio play but turn out to secretly be about Jesus, because metaphors don’t irritate vamps enough, you have to directly invoke a specific religious belief or ritual or they won’t start smoking out the ears at all. Beyond this, Guillermo started off trying to figure out the rules of what counts and effectively makes the formerly-living squirm, but he was having to listen to a lot of bad music to figure it out and The Newsboys were actually starting to grow on him, which was annoying, so he simplified the idea and just bought a full CD set at a garage sale of the audiobook version of The Bible as read by James Earl Jones. This works reliably, but just for the flair, right before a big fight, he makes his entrance with an old-school boombox from Goodwill on his shoulder, which causes his soon-to-be-victims to laugh until he hits play on the God's Property cassette loaded into it and starts strafing left and right, stakes flying from under his coat as the vampires writhe and moan to Stomp.

About once a week, he sets aside time to make more wooden stakes and is always scavenging wood for them: "oh hey, lemme see that broken broomstick you're throwing out", "oh golly I wonder if anyone will miss this wooden doorstop wedged in here", ect., ect.. Turns out the Chamber of Curiosities library has whatever texts on vampire-slaying it can house with the reasonable expectation that reading a given text won't kill the reader (it's counter-intelligence, "know thy enemy" stuff), so Guillermo discovers that while any wooden stake will suffice, some woods are better suited to specific purposes, and he develops this odd habit of being good at identifying what kind of wood something is made of.

He’s started growing bulbs of garlic in a corner of the basement. Sometimes instead of using one clove at a time, he’ll just chuck a whole bulb at once like a grenade so that when it hits the ground it bursts open and the cluster of attempted vampire assassins surrounding it hiss in pain as they disintegrate into dust. He just has to be careful not to try to bite off the top leafy part before he throws it like he’s pulling out the pin on a grenade because that tastes gross.

These are mostly kinda lame but I saved the best for last. Every action hero needs their signature weapon. Guillermo’s is a SuperSoaker. He bought the biggest, most mondo-looking SuperSoaker available and modded it to accept soda bottles as extra "cartridges" of ammo, gets water-cooler-sized jugs of holy water that he picks up from a shady priest who doesn't ask questions, and uses that to fill up the SuperSoaker and soda bottles so that once he's blasted a bunch of bloodsuckers until his MaxiSplasher 5000 or whatever runs out of juice, he can screw in a fresh soda bottle of sanctified H2O and keep going. This is his Excalibur, and I am proud of myself for coming up with it.

#headcanon #fanon #wwdits fx #guillermo de la cruz #slayer guillermo

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beneaththebrim · 2 years

Note

anon who asked about the ring here, thank you for such a thorough answer! every bit of lie huo i get to read is such a punch to the gut. I'd love to read a post about relevant lyrics if it would be fun for you to write up? It's always really cool to hear what thoughts are happening when curating a playlist! :)

Okay, here goes (the glosses at the end pretty much turned into throwing in chunks of devastating liehuo quotes ashdflksajdgl;a):

Also, for anyone who's curious, this is the playlist in question: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g2n2lc0zsh321hl7P3jwk?si=bd4fc27ab7c54b2d

Ulver - For the Love of God

Fucking heaven / To kingdom come

Holy war, slaughtering gods—what precedes jiling’s birth, the moment of their being forged together.

Chelsea Wolfe - Twin Fawn

Were you sleeping on the other side / Into frozen, monstrous light / It killed you, a stillbirth, anonymous loss

You cut me open, you lived inside

Heavenly demon and heavenly demon sword in their youth, leaning on each other.

Ulver - Rolling Stone

Poor little sister / I hope you understand / The babe in the woods / Will be taken by a wolf

For the curtain to fall / To wipe the blood / Off the face of the Earth

Jiling’s brutal youth & Sheng Lingyuan’s promise to Aluojin.

Depeche Mode - Precious

Angels with silver wings / Shouldn't know suffering / I wish I could take the pain for you

More of jiling’s youth, how they both wanted to protect each other.

Ulver - Velvet Sunsets (cover of a song by The Music Emporium)

Arm in arm / Soul in soul / Floating on velvet sunsets of summer days

Sudden rain / Cold and free / Exploring the depth of untold pleasure

Now the winds of autumn suggest breaths of doubt to our hearts / Sealed by the oncoming darkness / Torrents wash away summer's warmth / Leaving us shivering

Those last days in Dongchuan before Sheng Lingyuan went out to his fate. A spring dream, a mild autumn day before the weiqi board.

Arca - Anoche

(in translation from Spanish)

Last night I dreamt of you / Your figure and your arms / Last night I yearned for you / Even though I hadn't met you yet

Alone I healed you / The wounds of the wars you’ve fought / Last night I loved you / And you left me shattered

Last night I dreamt / Of our simultaneous death / Last night I cried / Out of happiness, how strange it made me feel

That the love has rinsed me / That your blood warmed / The tissue of my entrails / Last night I dreamt of you / Regardless of you being real or imaginary

Last night I was smiling / Thinking that you were possible / It’s enough for me to know / It’s enough for me to know

Yearning, foreshadowing, Lingyuan’s dreams for xiao-Ji.

Gregory and The Hawk - Boats & Birds

If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky / You can hide underneath me and come out at night / When I turn jet black and you show off your light / I live to let you shine, I live to let you shine / But you can skyrocket away from me / And never come back if you find another galaxy / Far from here with more room to fly / Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

If you'll be my boat, I'll be your sea / A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity / Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze / I live to make you free, I live to make you free / But you can set sail to the west if you want to / And past the horizon, 'til I can't even see you / Far from here where the beaches are wide / Just leave me your wake to remember you by

Lingyuan’s dreams for xiao-Ji, when he thought xiao-Ji would surely outlive him and their love was impossible.

(recc’d by chuck)

SOHN - Artifice

Is it over? / Did it end while I was gone? / 'Cause my shoulders / Couldn't hold that weight for long / And it all just feels the same

Somebody better let me know my name / Before I give myself away / Somebody better show me how I feel / 'Cause I know I'm not at the wheel

The fall of Dongchuan.

Chromatics - Twist the Knife

It’s alright / Twist the knife / It’s alright / Twist the knife

Sheng Lingyuan struggling to shore up power and scheme against Danli.

(I had trouble with this one—I wanted to put it later, when Sheng Lingyuan is being cruel to Xuan Ji, but I also like it as a song about Sheng Lingyuan becoming steadily more ruthless.)

Ulver - Let the Children Go

We hold each other / In the dead of night

When xiao-Ji is all Sheng Lingyuan has left.

Chelsea Wolfe - Offering

Skeletal sand as a lesson that became an offering

The final march against Jiuxun, both Lingyuan and xiao-Ji being overwhelmed by Heavenly Law’s will.

Baths - Broadback

Don't want you to, don't want you to, don't want you to die

Public opinion turns against the heavenly demon sword. Lingyuan realizes all too late that he’s losing xiao-Ji.

Karmina - All the King’s Horses

All the king's horses and all the king's men / Couldn't put me back together again

Xiao-Ji has been shattered; Sheng Lingyuan is broken.

(recc’d by shy)

Bob Moses - The Only Thing We Know

If you won't leave me, then I won't go / And if you can't see me, guess I'm a shadow / If I say sorry, would you let go? / It's the only thing we know

Xiao-Ji looks on invisibly as Sheng Lingyuan goes mad trying to reforge the sword over and over again, begs him to let him go, unheard.

Chelsea Wolfe - Crazy Love

Crazy love, it's not you I fear / You let the devil in, you hold him near

Crazy love, where is our home? / Look at the place we're in, the hell we left it in

Xiao-Ji continues watching Sheng Lingyuan destroy himself, powerless to stop him. He watches Sheng Lingyuan gouging out his own heart, and rushes to catch it and protect it within himself.

Soulsavers - In the Morning

Was there a message / That I’m not getting? / Do you think that I am lost or am I found / Just after midnight / When I woke up sweating / I was dreaming you were right here with me now

Lingyuan’s Trepidation-laced dreams.

The Cure - 39

And the fire is almost out / Almost out, almost out / Almost out, almost out / And there's nothing left to burn

Sheng Lingyuan approaches the last years of his life, the seal on Chiyuan causing his own fire to burn ever lower.

Baths - Earth Death

My men cannot get out of being pulled into the earth / I've been done here, only time keeps me from the demiurge

Sheng Lingyuan ends himself.

Soulsavers - Shadows Fall

I see circles of gold in spite of my eyes / When darkness falls from above / Stay under me, my love / I see circles of gold fading to black / Until the heavens have died / You'll be the thorn in my side

Still I am loathe to gather / All of these bones together

I see circles of gold burned off the sun / When shadows fall from above / Stay close to me, my love

Xiao-Ji gathers Lingyuan’s bones and prepares to pass the aeons in solitude, guarding Chiyuan and nourishing Lingyuan's corpse.

Zola Jesus - Veka

When the words become you / When the story builds you in / Who will find you there?

Who will find you / When all you are, all you are is dust? / Who will find you / In centuries?

Centuries pass, and Sheng Lingyuan’s reputation is cemented in history.

Wax Idols - Lonely You

It was a sorry gilded cage / That bound our hearts together / Now I just want to push the weight / Of you away forever

Xiao-Ji tries and fails to forget Sheng Lingyuan, over and over again.

Moonface - Walk the Circle in the Other Direction

The thought is eating at you / Like a rat that eats the whole heart / And the room you thought was haunted / Is just the room you're always in / Walk the circle in the other direction then / Walk the circle in the other direction

Through countless iterations of the Nirvana Stone, 35 bones broken, xiao-Ji circles himself again and again. At last, he becomes Xuan Ji.

Zola Jesus - Exhumed

In the static you are reborn

Sheng Lingyuan's Tongxincao puppet is summoned back into the mortal world by the Somber Sacrifice.

Susanne Sundfør - Accelerate

Wars erupting like volcanoes / Blood streaming down the walls / It's out of our hands, so baby let go

Sheng Lingyuan & Xuan Ji’s first clashes in the mortal world after three thousand years.

Boy Harsher - Pain

I am gonna follow you tonight / All the way, all the way home / I am gonna find you in the night / All the way, all the way home / You see me you see a stranger / I see you I see danger

Sheng Lingyuan reverts to his original remains after being struck by the Somber Sacrifice’s backlash.

Bel Canto - Summer

The place they were stranded / The traces that they made / All got washed away / The people before us / The fires that they burned / Somehow all want out

Do we all believe in endless summers / Do we all believe in summer?

Revisiting Dongchuan.

TR/ST - Iris

Night holds hope to see each light

Sheng Lingyuan sees the human megacity, a future he never could have imagined.

ACTORS - Crystal

Into the night out in the cold / Yours is the hand no one can hold

Xuan Ji confronts his conflicted feelings toward Sheng Lingyuan, wanting the what he knows is foolish to want.

Salem - Starfall

I've seen that senseless look in your eyes / And I know we've only just met / But I don't want to see you cry

Xuan Ji can’t help but feel soft for Sheng Lingyuan when the latter is vulnerable.

Franz Ferdinand - Walk Away

Said I'm strong now I know that I'm a leaver / I love the sound of you walking away

And I am cold, yes, I'm cold / But not as cold as you are

Xuan Ji watches Sheng Lingyuan dissolve into the crowd.

Soulsavers - Just Try

It gave me more than I deserve / It gave me peace / It gave me everything I love in this world / And now I have to sleep

In Yuyang, on his own terms, Sheng Lingyuan memorializes xiao-Ji with his every action.

Chelsea Wolfe - The Abyss

Watch your thoughts in the dark / They’ll drag you down to the deep blue sea / Stare it down, the abyss / Run away, run away from it

It hurts to love when I remember / We were born unto chaos

Under the waves and into the tomb, Xuan Ji begins to remember his past.

Mitski - I Don’t Smoke

If you need to be mean / Be mean to me / I can take it and put it inside of me

“But him, he’s just a knife.” (62)

TR/ST - Destroyer

I’m the destroyer, of everyone

Sheng Lingyuan twists the knife.

London Grammar - Who Am I

Who am I, who am I to want you now you're leaving? / Who am I, who am I, who am I to judge you now you're leaving?

Xuan Ji’s identity crisis, trying to fight against the deluge of memories that formed him and the yearning along with them.

Bob Moses - Talk

We won't talk about / All the things we need to most / And every time, we're coming close / You pass it off and look the other way / So we won't talk about it

Jiling don’t talk about it.

Depeche Mode - A Pain That I’m Used To

All this running around, well, it's getting me down / Just give me a pain that I'm used to / I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive / You just need to achieve something that rings true

Xuan Ji plays along with Sheng Lingyuan’s 'bone seal spirit' theory and restrains the memories of the heavenly demon sword spirit.

Purity Ring - Stranger Than Earth

There is no lesson in magic / There were untimely dreams / Where I knew / Woken in a fog, don't sweat it / And reckon none of it / Had come from you

Again, again, again, I wasn't thinkin' 'bout you / I wasn't, I wasn't

More repression, on the verge of bursting.

The Soft Moon - Dead Love

I want to breathe you / Inhale your soul / Touch your body / Feel your bones

Don't leave me all alone / Don′t leave me all alone / Don′t leave me all alone / Don't leave me all alone

In and out of helicopters across the country, into an illusion realm, Xuan Ji chases Sheng Lingyuan.

Sharon Van Etten - Your Love is Killing Me

Break my legs so I won't walk to you / Cut my tongue so I can't talk to you / Burn my skin so I can't feel you / Stab my eyes so I can't see

In the heavenly demon illusion realm, Xuan Ji witnesses Sheng Lingyuan’s self-destruction anew.

Chelsea Wolfe - Color of Blood

A hunger never satisfied / I can't keep you off my mind / Dancing, moving, passing time / Lost worlds and endless nights

I held you at a distance then / So I could keep you sacred now / I watched the veins under my skin / Moving, changing from blue to red/ Those colors battle to repent / Fighting some kind of punishment / For loving you

Xuan Ji sinks into his heart demon.

M83 - Don’t Save Us From the Flames

Bleeding all around / Liquid metal through my veins / The radio's burning / A ghost is screaming your name

The heart demon miasma spreads, covering everything. At last, Sheng Lingyuan realizes who Xuan Ji is.

Team Ghost - Broken Devices

I can hear your device / Feed me, with your lies / I look at that sequence / I don’t care about nothing, anymore / Each standing in the other’s lies / Memories are burning / Split screams are dying / What did we do wrong? / What did we do wrong?

A meeting, once again, after millennia.

Giles Corey - Blackest Bile

I open up my heart / And let it all in / And it kills all my love / And hope for everyone

And it hasn't been easy on you / I know that more than most / I am born to be alone / I am just some lonely ghost

Sheng Lingyuan continues to hold Xuan Ji at a distance, knowing he is not long for this world.

(recc’d by chuck)

Dave Gahan & Soulsavers - All of This and Nothing

I'm all of this and nothing / I'm the dirt beneath your feet / I'm the sun that rises while you're sleeping / I'm all you need

Sheng Lingyuan vows to see Xuan Ji off before he goes.

Future Islands - I Knew You

And it was so good to hear / After so many years / Not for the pain / But to hear you say anything real

Well I've been working nights / In and out of fights and flights / Kites in storms / Forgot this war

When I had to run / We didn't leave it all said and done / But will it be tonight? / Something in the cold of your eyes says, "Tonight."

I knew you / I knew you as you were, not as you are / You knew me too / But I'm not the same, it's not the way / The way, you're used to

They talk, but the distance doesn’t disperse.

Glass Animals - Cocoa Hooves

Come on you hermit / You never fight back / Why don’t you play with bows and arrows? / Why don’t you dance like / You’re sick in your mind? / Why don’t you set your wings on fire?

Xuan Ji cracks under the pressure; he dares to break down Sheng Lingyuan’s boundaries.

Future Islands - Ran

And what's a song without you? / When every song I write is about you / When I can't hold myself without you / And I can't change the day I found you

How we lose control, on these roads

Days pass and Xuan Ji keeps trying.

Soulsavers - You Will Miss Me When I Burn

Will you miss me when I burn / And will you eye me with a longing / It is longing that I feel / To be missed or to be real

When you have no one / No one can hurt you

Will you miss me when I burn / And will you close the others' eyes / It would be such a favor / If you would blind them

Sheng Lingyuan tries to maintain the distance.

The Soft Moon - The Pain

How can you love someone like me / How can you touch / Make myself bleed

The pain won't pass away / I take the way I feel to put you down

Sheng Lingyuan tries to break it off, saying the cruelest things he can think of to Xuan Ji.

Franz Ferdinand - Outsiders

I've seen some years, but you're still my Caesar / With everything I feel, I feel you've already been here / Oh, oh / Love'll die and lovers fade, but you still remain here / Squeezing in your fingers what it means for me to be, yeah / Oh, oh / The only difference is what might be / Is now

Sheng Lingyuan is betrayed by jiaoren song and Xuan Ji confronts him.

Chromatics - White Light

White Light / Run Away From Me / I Want To Hold You In My Hand / White Light / Sing Your Love To Me / I Am A Stranger In Your World

Xuan Ji witnesses what Sheng Lingyuan would have done if he could do it all over again.

Ulver - All the Love

The past / The future

The promises

The folly / Of those who died

For nothing

The Heavenly White Jade Palace collapses.

Chelsea Wolfe - Iron Moon

My heart is a tomb / My heart is an empty room / I've given it away / I never want to see it again

And all your words could save me / But keep your love away from me / In all the worlds decaying / Is there place that's safe for us?

After attempting to run away, Sheng Lingyuan agrees to a New Year’s meal with Xuan Ji, and tries to explain soberly why their love is doomed.

Nightmare Fortress - A Life Worth Leaving

What you needed / Was an ending / To a life worth leaving

He pressed both his hands down on the armrests of Sheng Lingyuan’s chair, trapping him on it: “I didn’t say it had to last long.” (108)

Moonface and Siinai - Quickfire, I Tried

And quickfire, I tried to not go crazy / But the winter got inside me anyway

Sheng Lingyuan succumbs to his desires.

Salem - Old Gods

Give me one more chance to set you free / If I want you, I'll wait, I'll wait forever / I'm going, I want you here with me / Give me just one night to make you love me / I met god and asked him what he wants / And silence was the answer til I've gone / Heaven is a place out here with me / So burn those wings and let us all be free

“Ah,” Xuan Ji thought, “His Majesty has pardoned the realm.” (108)

Zola Jesus - Siphon

'Cause we'd rather clean the blood of a living man / We'd rather lean over, hold your warm, warm hand / We'd love to clean the blood of a living man / We'd hate to see you give into those cold, dark nights inside your head, inside your head, inside your head

Won't let you bleed out, can't let you bleed out / Won't let you bleed out, can't let you bleed out

Xuan Ji tricks Sheng Lingyuan and returns his heart. Using jiaoren esoteric speech, he ties his own survival to Sheng Lingyuan's.

King Woman - Hierophant

You're always on my mind / I want you all the time / The pain of tenderness is / A wound of love

“What are you looking at? You take your hollow heart for a storage closet. Before, you loaded it with dozens of jin of broken iron, and now you use it to carry around a lousy wooden carving sold by a ten yuan shop. Your Majesty, why is all this junk worthy of entry, but not me?” (109)

ACTORS - Like Suicide

Oh, it's in your eyes / I can see you now / Cold as ice / You say you're mine / Like suicide / No way out / No way out

“If you are harmed in the future, I will bear the same pain. If you are buried in Chiyuan, we will be buried together.” He lifted up his nonexistent tail in triumph, “You’re mine now.” (109)

Purity Ring - Repetition

Watching me is like watching a fire take your eyes from you / Hope it isn't repetition / Though that's the only thing that keeps and takes you

Xuan Ji gloats and Sheng Lingyuan grits his teeth as they fight side by side at bureau headquarters.

Deep Sea Diver - Thunderbolts

Lightning bolts / they struck us both / In the middle of the day / for a second I was totally blind / I laughed the pain away

Caught up in a vision / we were both giving up / I could not believe it / thought it was another dream / but now I see

Never want to be alone again / never want to be alone / never want to be alone again / our hearts ignite when they beat together / when they beat beat beat together

At last cohesion, fighting together against the green-clad man.

ACTORS - Strangers

I would lie to you / To buy more time / I would die for you / To change your mind

When the night begins to fall / We're strangers after all

…Until Sheng Lingyuan finds out the jiaoren esoteric speech was only one-sided, that xiao-Ji could still die without taking him with.

Frank Ocean - Ivy

I thought that I was dreamin' when you said you love me / The start of nothin' / Had no chance to prepare, couldn't see you comin' / And we started from nothin' / Ooh, I could hate you now / It's alright to hate me now

“I didn’t ask you for an explanation, it’s already all in the past. I’m just saying all this to tell you, stop doing things ‘for my own good’. For a person who can’t even control his own heart, where do you big characters get off always haughtily acting like you can toy around with other people’s feelings!? Do you think I don’t want to get rid of you? I’ve tried fucking everything…” (120)

Violence - Things Fall Apart

You and I are the same / A system bound by the light you emanate / I just wanna break free from the chains. You sent him to bring back my love, but it′s too late

Things fall apart

I give and I give, you take and I- Break / I live and I give, but it′s too late... I fell in love with a- Snake

Things fall apart

Sheng Lingyuan ransacks Xuan Ji’s mind to break the jiaoren esoteric speech, then reverts to uprooting his heart once again.

Zola Jesus - Remains

Do ruins give power / Or do they give proof / That something meant more, something meant more / Than what we, what we lived through?

What remains of us? / What remains of us? / What remains of us? / What remains of us?

Whoever’s heart was returned to whom, whoever’s blood was taken away by whom, the connection between the pair of them that had lasted for millennia like a lover’s goodbye, was now completely severed. Each one was left all alone. (121)

MorMor - Don’t Cry

Eyes covered, took your word / The light dies each time I lose sight / Couldn't take the shame each night / Eyes covered, took your word / The light dies each time I lose sight / Couldn't take the pain each night

You just line me up / What was left unsaid / Quiet's all you had / The future's unfair / If we listen close / We're running out of time / You don't seem to mind / The future sounds fun / The future sounds fun

Don't you cry / Don't you cry / Don’t you cry

Xuan Ji couldn’t help but lose his breath. He had the sudden vague feeling that when he made a scene just then, he’d accidentally cracked open a clam that had been tight-lipped for millennia. If he missed this chance, he’d never again have the opportunity to explore these inner feelings.

In that split second, he decided to milk it, and blurted out: “Lingyuan-gege.”

“Wait for you to grow up, and even if I hadn’t died of old age, I’d probably still have a beard to stroke and graying temples, right?” Sheng Lingyuan seemed to let out a chuckle, “After a while, such beautiful thoughts no longer affected me, and by then they naturally dissolved away, just a spring dream, that’s it, nothing more.”

He had once also had expectations for the future.

His wish was very small… just that, before he died of old age, he might see the blossoming of flowers he’d spent his life exhausting all his heart’s blood to water.

That was it.

“But it’s ominous to think too deeply.” Sheng Lingyuan’s voice was so light it was inaudible, “I wouldn’t dare.” (121)

Zola Jesus - Lawless

In these lawless times / I’ve got nothing left to hide / Give it up for good / You either run or take it / And I know I won’t lose the will to make it out alive

Remember those unbilled days when I bought all / And nobody could tell me I was wrong no / And in my own desire I’d be owed to no one other than myself / We gotta get used to it now

And in those old days oh I get so lonely / And in those old days all I could fit could hold me

But / This land is nobody's / When you fall apart / And I’ll be there / Waiting to claim it up

“The feudal monarchy’s all been buried in the dirt, Your Majesty, so when the hell will you let yourself abdicate?'' The previous night, Xuan Ji had been walking through the ruins of the Anomaly Control Bureau, and the soles of his shoes were dirty. He hadn’t had time to change, so after kicking him, a clear shoe print was left on Sheng Lingyuan’s leg, “I have to just take whatever you give me, and after enduring it, I have to kneel three times and kowtow nine in deep gratitude. Well fuck you, asshole!”

Sheng Lingyuan: “…”

“Chiyuan’s a tinderbox that hasn’t gone dead in ten thousand years and it could go up any second now. The Vermilion Bird clan’s been extinct since the beginning of the great war. It’s only me, this half-person exerting myself to keep it down and guard Chiyuan in the place of an entire clan! Am I not worthy of His Majesty the Human Sovereign? I have no need for you to feed me food and water, and I do not need your validation or pity. Mr. Loner, troubling you to look away from your high and mighty perch over all living things, and take a look at me instead! I am not some housepet or palace concubine, I am your man!”

Those last few sentences didn’t really sound like human words, and Sheng Lingyuan finally came back to his senses and kicked him back.

Xuan Ji took it, feeling neither pain nor itch: “I’ll be impudent! I won’t get out!”

His Majesty’s cursing vocabulary was limited to these two phrases, both of which were utterly thwarted by Xuan Ji. His pitiful skills were all depleted. (122)

Salem - Fires in Heaven

Fires in the sky / Fire fire fire / Fire in the sky / Fire fire fire

Apocalypse descends.

Sharon Van Etten - You Know Me Well

All the skies are fallin' and the sun is movin' up and down / Even when you're in a dark way / Some decisions shield you from the positivity until / You reach out to me / You say why you hate it as you pry your way in / I need another investigative mind / Tell me that you're injured, yourself, and you've been healing / And I will see this through

You know me well / You show me hell when I'm looking / And here you are / Looking

Jiling set off, finally having come to an accord.

London Grammar - Hell to the Liars

Hell to the Liars / Here’s to you and me

Here's to the things you love / Here's to those you fight enough / Hell to the rest of us / Here's to the things you love / Here's to the things you love

Sheng Lingyuan allows himself to grieve his one and only home.

Ulver - Christmas

(lyrics from the poem of the same title by Fernando Pessoa)

A god is born and others die. What is / Has neither come nor gone, but error moves / Today we have exchanged eternities / And what is past no novelty improves

Blind knowledge is working at useless ground / And crazy faith is living the dream of its liturgy / A new god is a word - or the mere sound / Don't seek and don't trust, for all is mystery

The masterminds reveal themselves. A new god is born.

ACTORS - We Don’t Have to Dance

We don’t have to dance / We don't have to talk / We'll just fade into each other / Till we’re gone

Sheng Lingyuan treats Xuan Ji to an illusion realm to rewrite those three thousand years alone.

Chromatics - City Beds

Trapped in wrinkled heads / Caged in city beds

Keep it alive / Keep it alive / Keep it alive / Keep it aLIVE / KEEP IT ALIVE / KEEP IT ALIVE

The illusion breaks, and Xuan Ji finds Sheng Lingyuan with only a fragment of a breath left in him.

Zola Jesus - It’s Not Over

It's not over tonight / It's not over tonight / It goes away now, away now / But it's not over tonight

But a breath is a breath; they both made it through, and humanity forges a path forward.

TORRES - Thirstier

You want someone to worship you / I see you lovin' to watch me risk it all / You think you’re always right, but you love watchin' me try / Provin' you’re wrong

Baby, keep me in your fantasies / Baby, keep your hands all over me / The more you look, the more you'll see / As long as I'm around, I'll be lookin' for a nerve to hit / The more of you I drink, the thirstier I get / Baby, baby

I know I wear you out, I'm never sleepy / I'm sorry for all the times I made you feel / Guilty for sleeping easy / But you get hot when I show you how devout I am / I walk the walk and I show off just how proud I am

Baby, keep me in your fantasies / Baby, even though you live with me / The more I look, the more I see / As long as I'm around, I'll be lookin' for a nerve to hit / The more of you I drink, the thirstier I get

The person accompanying him in the illusion realm was like sweet nectar. When he finished drinking, he felt utterly hydrated and fresh within, and his heart was very tranquil. At the time, Xuan Ji had the feeling that even if his life were to end right then and there, he’d have no regrets—perhaps because the one who made up this beautiful dream was a ‘retired old cadre’ who was only licentious on the outside, but whose passions were relatively limited.

But as it turned out, seeing it was totally different from touching the real thing. The real Sheng Lingyuan was like water with salt mixed in. The more he drank, the thirstier he got. The sounds and tactile sensations all lingered on around the corners of the ceiling and seeped into the cracks of his bones like a curse, refusing to leave. (138)

Future Islands - Glada

New canopies arise / From the crumbling framework / The remnants of fire

And you came as you are / And they said / “Heaven’s a mystery, unless you’re a star.” / “Unless you’ve a crown.”

But they’re wrong / And you can walk this head around and gone / Or we can fly

Who am I? / Do I deserve to see you again? / The slow lapping waves / Bathing my face in light

In the night / Long after summer winds / In the last, diving in / Finding love and a friend / In the dawn

The end, as ever a new beginning.

#ask brim #anon #烈火浇愁 #jiling #playlist #the emperor and his chicken #novel quotes

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huayno · 3 years

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from neon genesis evangelion, vol. 12

The Mysterious Stranger

The Anime, the Manga, and the Mark Twain Novella

"God will provide for this kitten." "What makes you think so?" Ursula's eyes snapped with anger. "Because I know it!" she said. "Not a sparrow falls to the ground without His seeing it." "But it falls, just the same. What good is seeing it fall?"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

There is a short novel by Mark Twain, written near the end of his life and published posthumously, entitled The Mysterious Stranger. The tale is set in a small village in 16th century Austria, where three boys one day meet a young man different from themselves: "he had new and good clothes on, and was handsome and had a winning face and a pleasant voice, and was easy and graceful and unembarrassed, not slouchy and awkward and diffident, like other boys."

The mysterious stranger starts to do small but amazing tricks for them—causing water to turn to ice; conjuring grapes and bread out of air; even making birds that can fly out of clay. At last one boy, the story's narrator, works up the courage to ask the stranger who he is:

"'An angel,' he said, quite simply, and set another bird free and clapped his hands and made it flyaway."

The angel then proceeds to really impress them by making an entire toy castle, complete with five hundred miniature soldiers and workmen that move around by themselves. Naturally the boys get involved with this ultimate playset, making their own knights and cannon and cavalry, and although they get rather nervous again when the angel reveals his name is Satan, he assures them he is not that Satan, but only named after the fallen one.

"We others are still ignorant of sin; we are not able to commit it; we are without blemish, and we shall abide in that estate always." Distracted by two of the miniature workmen, "Satan reached out his hand and crushed the life out of them with his fingers... and went on talking where he had left off: 'We cannot do wrong; neither have we any disposition to do it, for we do not know what it is." Horrified as the other boys are, "he made us drunk with the joy of being with him and of looking into the heaven of his eyes, and of feeling the ecstasy that thrilled along our veins from the touch of his hand.'"

Yes, Kaworu Nagisa made quite an impression on the fans of Neon Genesis Evange/ion, despite the fact that, in the original broadcast version of the TV show (before it got all director's-cutted, box-setted, special-editioned, and platinum-lined) he shows up for only slightly less than thirteen minutes of total screen time, the climax of which being an entire minute where nothing happens at all.

That's what being a beautiful angel will do for you, especially when you make the most of your thirteen minutes on Earth by having a Whirlwind romance with the main character that ends in a lover's quarrel with Prog Knives and finally a voluntary martyrdom at the hand of your boy here. Relationships don't come any more tragic than that of Kaworu Nagisa and Shinji Ikari, and when fans (including this one) first saw it on TV, the affair was so brief and shocking the story logic of it didn't click in until much later.

In the anime, Kaworu is acknowledged as the Final Messenger, and, of all the Angels Shinji has to fight, this is the most ruthless battle, won at the highest possible cost to himself. It took even longer for me to realize that the showdown in episode 24 had also taken us full circle from Shinji's first fight in episodes 1 and 2, which emphasized his personal helplessness against the looming Angel Sachiel. Against Kaworu, it is the Angel who becomes the small, helpless figure, while Shinji is represented only by the gargantuan, frightful helm and arm of his Eva Unit-O1. We never see Shinji's human face once throughout the whole final minute of decision.

So as Col. Trautman would have said instead of Major Katsuragi, "It's over, Shinji! IT'S OVER!" Kaworu v. Shinji (or Kaworu x Shinji, in the doujinshi) was the big final showdown between humanity and the Angels. And with the outcome leaving Shinji at his most wretched ever, wouldn't it be nice if everyone just died—your wish being Eva's command, as it turns out that fortunately humanity hardly ever needed the Angels to slaughter itself.

"I am perishing already—I am failing—I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever...But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

Satan's words near the end of Mark Twain's story also uncannily prefigure the end of the world and the Instrumentality project, both of which follow his death in the TV show in such quick order you picture Anno as a hairnetted fry cook dinging the counter bell. By now you see Sadamoto's handling of Kaworu, and perhaps nothing illustrates the different experiences of the manga and the anime better than his handling of this critical character.

No longer the last Angel to be fought, Kaworu actually becomes an active Eva pilot and fights an Angel—the dude even has the nerve to observe the fight is fixed, based on his knowledge of SEELE's prophecies. Sadamoto of course introduces him at an earlier point in the narrative—at the equivalent of episode 19's end—and then sends him to NERV near the equivalent of episode 22's beginning—before certain important events, to put it mildly, can occur. When one notes this kind of thing, of course, it's important to restate that the Evangelion manga has always been a separate but equal "official" version of Eva, with no particular obligation to align itself with the anime, and indeed it was with Book Five, the first released after The End of Evangelion, that Sadamoto began to truly seem free to go in his own direction.

Nevertheless, as the "other" official version of the Eva story, it is reasonable for fans to view it as an "alternate history" relative to the anime, and the way Kaworu has been introduced makes us realize the manga may end very differently indeed. Despite the fact we know here that Kaworu is an Angel from the very beginning, he appears destined to at least hang around long enough to pick up a few paychecks. It's not clear when your health benefits kick in at NERV, although if Ritsuko is your primary caregiver it might be best to forego them.

Sadamoto's remarks upon visiting the U.S. in 2003 indicated that the Eva manga might (might) be planned as a twelve-volume series in all. There is still plenty of room for speculation, as the slow working pace to which the artist himself often refers has of late become almost relativistic—as of this writing, it has been eight months since Sadamoto has drawn a new installment of Eva in Japan, and hence a Volume Ten is nowhere in sight. It may be small comfort, but those of you reading this are pretty much in the same drifting boat as the Japanese fans.

"An angel's love is sublime, adorable, divine, beyond the imagination of man—infinitely beyond it! But it is limited to his own august order. If it fell upon one of your race for only an instant, it would consume its object to ashes. No, we cannot love men but we can be harmlessly indifferent to them; we can also like them, sometimes."

—from The Mysterious Stranger

And with Book Nine we see the most staggering difference thus far between the manga and the anime; Sadamoto's Shinji doesn't even like Kaworu, much less love him. Of course, you could say the less-ethereal Kaworu of the manga is harder to love. I can't believe Sadamoto had him tell Rei he thought she'd be "heftier." And yet he did.

I don't think any A.T. Fields actually got penetrated in the anime; while I do think Shinji felt sexually attracted to Kaworu, and that you the audience are supposed to feel that he felt it, what Kaworu himself thought was a very different matter. Like Rei, I believe Kaworu to be innocent—coyly, he appears not to be so, because while Rei needed to be reached out to, Kaworu has come to reach out; whereas Rei has spent her existence being observed; Kaworu has come to observe.

Indeed, in the manga, Shinji's irritation about Kaworu's invasion of his personal space seems almost a parody of his attitude in the anime. In the TV show, when Kaworu put his hand on Shinji's, he flinched but did not pull away; whereas in the manga it's easy to imagine Shinji slugging him. Instead he goes to run after Rei, hoping to get closer to her again.

I hardly think the change reflects any phobia on Sadamoto's part (after all, we even get to see Shinji's "Unit One" in the manga), but the fact the manga Shinji is less emotionally bleak and empty, and hence less vulnerable. Shinji's just as negative in the manga, of course, but it's an active variety, rather than the passive negative creep (in the best Nirvana song sense) we know from the anime. We don't have to imagine him slugging Gendo; from the look of surprise on Dad's face in Book Seven he would have smacked the beard off his face if Kaji hadn't stopped him.

Neither is Shinji in a positive emotional situation where we leave him here, either; indeed at this point in the manga there's arguably no one he can turn to—the more brutal fate that befell Toji has cut him off from his school friends, Rei has become hesitant, Kaji is dead, and his perennial self-esteem booster Asuka is going to need to rebuild her internal supply before she can even get back to calling him a loser and idiot.

So, like Misato trying to put her own hand on Shinji's, all I can do for now while we wait for Sadamoto-sensei is to recommend for your winter vacation reading list The Mysterious Stranger, which I can almost guarantee will give you new angles to think about Kaworu, and may even earn you class credit besides. A quick look at the novel's comments on Amazon list a teacher who says fundamentalist students walked out of his class when he taught it; another compares it to The Matrix; those who dislike it call it "sick," "bitter," and "twisted." Sounds like good old Evangelion to me!

—Carl Gustav Horn

[a drawing of Kaworu holding a kitten]

Although The Mysterious Stranger can also be found in a number of print editions, including The Portable Mark Twain from Penguin (haw haw), the story, being from the days when mp3s came on shellacked cylinders, is legally available online at http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/TwaMyst.html. The same site has a book called The Holy Bible, King James Version, which fans of Evangelion might also enjoy, although it's technically "Editor's Choice."

#eva #kaworu nagisa #idec if twain didn't write that shit #i'm all over this

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raamyun-and-rambles · 3 years

Text

Utterly Foolish

Fandom: Genshin Impact Pairing: Xiao x Reader

!! Character death and angst !! *Use of Alatus rather than Xiao*

He won't let himself get too close. Alatus thought.

Your voice was much too precious, too heavenly to lose to the nauseating miasma of death that seeps from his skin like a poisonous haze. Your smile - which sets his heart ablaze - was as bright as the morning sun, warming his heart in the most gentle of ways. Your touch, as he remembers, is often laden with care. Even for a being such as he, you embrace him with a kindness that he's never known until now. Alatus remembers the way your touch seared against his skin, fingers dancing over his bright tattoo, delicately tracing the intricate design as your eyes twinkled in fascination and delight.

(He won't ever admit he found you breathtaking in that moment.)

Alatus is convinced he won't ever forget the way you call his name.

Lilted with a childlike excitement and a joy that he couldn't understand. There was no reason for you to possibly want to be with him now is there? Surely you understand that he was naught but a weapon, a being whose only purpose was to kill and to take while you were anything but. To Alatus you were everything good, everything he wasn't and he was afraid of tarnishing that light with his tainted hands. But for some reason he can't bring himself to tear his eyes away from you as your gaze shifted onto patches of orange and yellow blossoms, an usual bashfulness as you refused to meet his gaze.

The worry in his chest had bubbled and an apology was ready on the tip of his tongue but your hand suddenly shot up and grabbed his sleeve, wrinkling the fabric with your tight grip.

"Because I love you." You muttered to no one but the wind.

But Alatus had heard.

As loud as his heartbeat drumming against his ears and - Alatus figured, in a moment of disbelief - it was the first time he forgot how to breathe.

Oh how foolish he was to forget his own warnings.

Trapped in the sweet poison of the words on your tongue, entranced by your warmth and ensnared by a promise of a morrow that would never come. Alatus had nearly forgotten he was cursed. He has fallen deeper than he initially thought he would, surrounded by the sweet scent of lilacs and a scent that he could only call as yours. He has grown weak, bones weary and heart heavy from the weight of his sins and yet when you are settled around him like this he feels as though he could fly. Your lullabies lull him to a sleep he didn't know an immortal could ever need and it scared him how quickly you seemed to change him yet fitted against him so perfectly as if you've always meant to be there, like a puzzle piece needed to complete himself, Alatus can't ever remember how life had been without your presence. Tomorrow will come and that morrow will bring about more slaughter and sin and he knows it will stretch him apart until he's spread thin, sanity teetering over the edge. But for now he'll indulge in the illusion you've prepared for him, empty promises filling the air as the moon wanes outside the window of your humble home.

Perhaps...Just maybe, he'll allow himself to indulge just once, Alatus thought, muttering the same words you had into the crevice of your neck.

"I love you too."

Foolish. Foolish. Foolish.

It repeats like a mantra in his head as he stands amidst a house burnt to nothing but ash and dust. Alatus scurries over to your side, panicked gaze flitting from your ashen face to the wound on your stomach that gushed blood onto the earth beneath you. He had only been gone for a few hours, summoned by the god to do his bidding, he should have known - he should have been here - any punishment would have been acceptable so long as he knew you were alive and well. He should have- he should have- he should have-

Your breathing was shallow and black speckled your vision and yet despite being in such a state you could still hear how loudly he wails.

Alatus flinches when he feels your hand against his cheek, smearing red against his porcelain skin as you attempted to swipe away his tears. You smile despite yourself, ignoring the pain as you willed yourself to sing.

Perhaps even in your last moments you can bestow upon him a song to drive his nightmares away. You can allow yourself a little wishful thinking.

"Hush... Now my angel, I will always be with you In your pretty smile In a glow of tears I'll be there with you."

"Look how the stars shine.." You trail off, more a whisper than an actual tune as your senses start to numb. Alatus catches your falling hand, scrambling closer to you as he hoarsely cries out your name.

"Know that my love for you will always ring true."

Foolish.

Alatus curses every god in Celestia - curses every heavenly being - as the light left your eyes and your hand grew limp against his own. He doesn't remember what happens next, much of it has become a blur but Alatus remembers screaming and crying until his voice withered away, remembers the way his hand gripped yours tightly in his and shaking you as if you'll rouse from your sleep.

Alatus knows now that he'll never see your eyes shine with the reflection of the stars or gaze upon him with so much love and affection that his heart swells at the mere thought of it. Your voice will never reach him again, whether in jest or in song and it hurts to know that you've been robbed of your lullabies and joyous laughter. Alatus knows he'll never feel your warmth again or your lips on his and the mere thought of spending his remaining days in solitude as he always had before meeting you pricked tears into his eyes.

He regrets not saying he loved you more often when he could or doing more to have made you happy despite claiming his presence alone was enough to make your day.

He had trapped himself in a false security, drunk on the prospect of the happiness that you provided and that ultimately became his sin.

Alatus figures he's being punished.

For trying to obtain something that was never supposed to be within his reach, for dreaming that he too, could one day deserve the happiness he has prayed to countless gods to but have alas fallen onto deaf ears. He laughs, a bitter kind of laugh as he rests his forehead against yours.

How utterly foolish he has been.

#genshin impact #xiao x reader #xiao #genshin impact xiao #reader insert #fanfiction #angst #alatus #reader

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