The Marauders on a road trip:

Sirius driving at 90

James: slow down, mate

Sirius speeds up

Reg: slow down.

Sirius ignores him

Remus: Slow. Down.

Sirius immediately slows down to 50

Sirius: REMUS! I BURNT MY HAND!

Remus: Quick, put it on something cold.

Sirius, putting his hand over Regulus’ heart: Ahh, much better

Regulus: Fuck off

James Potter 🤝 Michael Scott (The Office):

sirius: it’s so nice being held :)

death eater: ??! i’m holding u hostage

sirius: still :) it’s nice to be held

@wolfstarmicrofic | Draught of the Living Death | 685 words

Note: Mature themes and references to sex, nothing explicit

Sirius and Remus are friends. Best friends. Sure, they might hold eye contact longer than necessary. They might be more touchy with each other than with anyone else. Maybe their banter turns flirtatious so quickly they often don’t even realize. But they are just friends. Friends that flirt sometimes.

Sirius is sitting on the couch closest to the fireplace. He is lazily doodling stars and half-crescent moons all around the instructions for the Draught of the Living Death, not paying attention to the homework assignment he’s supposed to be working on with James. James has his Potions book open as well, he is lounging in an armchair, feet resting on the coffee table in front of him. Peter is sitting on the floor, a piece of parchment on the same table, drawing a Mandrake. Sirius looks up to watch Remus who is sitting on the couch with him, book in his lap, back resting against the armrest, legs spread out across the cushions, feet buried under Sirius’ thighs.

James interrupts the comfortable silence: “Do you ever think about our professors having sex?” 

“What the fuck, James?” Peter groans, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, dropping his feather. Sirius starts cackling and Remus just looks at James, slowly shaking his head. Sirius stops laughing: “Hmmm, honestly, can’t say I have, Prongs. Why? Who would you want to shag out of all of them?” Peter drops his forehand onto the table, mumbling something about being too sober for this conversation. James’ answer comes out a little bit too quickly: “Flitwick.” Sirius nods and hums thoughtfully, Peter sighs and picks his feather back up. Remus looks at Sirius now: “Are you thinking about Minnie?” Sirius stares at him in shock: “Oh, absolutely NOT, Moony. That is revolting. I do have mommy issues, but they do not go that far.” Remus chuckles and looks back down at his book.

“I don’t know,” Peter muses, apparently giving into the others’ nonsense, “I think I could show Minnie a good time.” James throws his head back laughing while Remus is chuckling again. “Oh, please,” Sirius replies, “Pete, you probably think the G-spot is where gangs meet up.” Peter glares at him, head turning red like a tomato. But before he can say anything, James interferes: “And what do you know about G-spots, Pads? Aren’t you ‘as gay as they come,’ like you always say?” The usage of air quotes is accompanied by James’ shit-eating grin. Sirius exclaims, clutching his heart in mock-defense: “Hey! I’ll have you know I’ve had sex with women before my gay awakening.” Remus looks up: “That alone does not speak for your G-spot-finding-abilities,” he deadpans. “Oh, and what makes it your forte, Moony? You’ve never even had sex with a woman, as far as I know,” Sirius replies, smirking back at him.

Before Remus can reply, Peter speaks up: “Actually, I think Moony can make anyone feel good.” Sirius tries to retort something sassy but is caught up by images appearing before his inner eye; ways in which Moony could make someone feel good… 

James’ grin widens when he agrees with Pete: “Yeah, Moony can definitely find any and all important spots.” Sirius just scoffs, and feels himself blushing. Remus wiggles his toes that are buried underneath Sirius’ thighs: “See, Pads?” With that grin that makes Sirius’ heart skip a beat. He stares back for a second too long. Flustered, Sirius averts his eyes to his Potions book, trying to think about draughts instead of dicks.

A moment later, he feels Remus shift, sitting up and scooching over to sit next to Sirius, nudging his shoulder: “Awww, Pads, don’t pout.” Remus leans in closer and lowers his voice to speak quiet enough for only Sirius to hear: “Do you need me to make you feel good?”

At that, Sirius gets up very abruptly, snaps his book shut, throws it back at the couch, and stomps over to the staircase. On his way to the dorm, he can practically feel Remus’ eyes on him.

This whole ‘Friends who Flirt-Thing’ was definitely getting out of hand. 

Conversations I’ve had that remind me of marauders characters part. 29

Sirius: do you ever wonder if-

Remus: nope.

Sirius: what-

Remus: no I don’t wonder that.

Sirius: I didn’t even finish what I was saying??

Remus: you don’t have to every time you say “do you ever wonder” it’s followed by the most buffoonery type bullshit ever said in mankind that only you would wonder about.

"i want to buy you something.

But i dont have any money.

No, i dont have any money. . ."

hiya, if you look closely you can see when i gave up trying to do the background and just started doing random lines

in this piece you can see our boy Sirius in the mall, CAUSE SOMEBODY GOT HUNGRY AT F*CKING 2:00 AM, so he and Remus went to the mall (or idk a place that is open 24/7)

yule - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 79

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the Yuletide gay," Lily sang under her breath, knitting a maroon scarf as she perched on an armchair in the Common Room.

"Heh. Gay," Sirius chuckled immaturely, looking up from his Potions homework.

Lily shot him a withering look. "That's a bit rich coming from the bloke who regularly shags his equally male roommate."

Sirius choked on thin air at the jab, reddening slightly.

Lily was learning far took much from Prongs.

Alphard: Are you gonna make sure nobody picks on your brother?

Sirius: Mhmm

Alphard: You're gonna stick up for him?

Sirius: Yeah

Alphard: What does he have? Do you remember what it's called?

Sirius: Auto-Autumn...

Alphard: Autistic?

Sirius: Autistic!

Alphard: And if kids pick on your brother, what are you gonna do?

Sirius: Kill them

Alphard: ...reasonable

Lily hex them and 10 minutes later she receive and owl.....

What a menace this two are.... ILOVETHEM!!!

Can we all just agree that Sirius and Regulus must have shit immune systems? Because let’s face it— they can’t be hot and healthy with those inbred genes.

I just imagine that’s one of the many reasons Remus and James keep such a close eye on him. And heaven forbid if you sneeze in their presence; they would either yeet the person across the room or use both their bodies to shield Sirius and RUN. Remus would be helping nurse Sirius to health, and say that it is honestly more tiring than changing every full moon because it’s like dealing with a drunk Sirius for a week (or more). He can barely breathe, he can’t eat on his own, and seeing as he could barely walk before— Sirius definitely can’t walk in this condition.

Then, because James gets withdrawals, he’ll pretend to be sick just so he can stay with Sirius.

(Also, this being if Sirius and Regulus were close or made up, Reggie would know what a pain in the ass it is so he’d send the Marauders medicine he helped create with Pandora. BUT he’d go nowhere near them cause a bitch ain’t taken chances. If you thought 6 feet was far— think again. Regulus wouldn’t even go near the Gryffindor common room/James’ house.)

Everyone agreed that this was the safest plan of action ofc, because they had all seem Regulus sick. And if you think Sirius would be a nightmare, Regulus is a fucking terror.

sirius and reg teasing each other

sirius: don't worry reg, you'll always be my favorite cousin

regulus: sirius-

james and remus: your favorite WHAT?!

sirius: ops

regulus: *to sirius* the inbreeding really shows with the way your mind works

remus: the WHAT??

james: what have i gotten myself into..

Regulus: I made tea.

Sirius: I don’t want tea.

Regulus: I didn’t make tea for you, this is my tea.

Sirius: Then why are you telling me?

Regulus: It’s a conversation starter.

Sirius: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Regulus: Oh is it? We’re conversing. Checkmate.

James + Pete use a TikTok sound to get Sirius to kiss Remus

JAMES: “4 BEST FRIENDS IN A ROOM—2 MIGHT KISS!” 🎶

PETE: “Yes they will!”🎶 *Hands phone to Sirius*

SIRIUS: Me? Ok Prongs, smooch me!

REMUS: …THIS is my villain origin story.

*in their kitchen*

Sirius *cooking*: hey. hey moony

Remus *reading by the table*: *looks up*

Sirius: *enthusiastically washes a cucumber while holding intense eye contact with him*

Remus:

Remus: *looks back down at book* finish the salad.

Sirius: Hey, do you think I can stuff fifteen cigarettes in my mouth and smoke them at the same time?

Remus: You’re a danger to society.

Remus: And a coward. Do twenty.

James and Peter: guys, nO-