whatever you do, don't think about 12 year old Sirius Black becoming very suspicious as to why his new friend disappears from school periodically and returns looking exhausted, sometimes with bruises and cuts riddling his body.
don't think about him getting worried when Remus lies, "Oh, it was a family thing".
don't think about him trying to do research on abusive households out of concern that perhaps his friend is living in dire circumstances.
and please don't imagine him coming to the realization that Remus isn't the one in an abusive household... he is.
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Today's @wolfstarmicrofic prompt is a Hospital AU
(503 words.)
CW: Cancer
"Moony!" Sirius shoves the door open with a grin, trying not to flinch at how small Remus looks in the bed today. Remus offers him a sleep filled smile, shifting his weight until he's sitting up. "Check this out." With that, he triumphantly drops a leaflet onto Remus' lap.
Remus picks it up, eyes roving over the page.
"A medical trial," Remus says, and Sirius is so excited he doesn't even notice the trepidation wavering in Remus' voice.
"Yeah! It's actually really fascinating. It's a combination of new medications alongside chemotherapy-"
"Sirius." His voice is quiet, practically inaudible, but Sirius isn't finished.
"It also makes use of a natural environment environment to try to-"
"Sirius," He says firmly.
"Remus, you don't get it." He looks up at Remus with shining eyes, gesturing to the leaflet. "People are going in terminal and coming out perfectly healthy."
"I do get it, Sirius. Let me guess," He sets the leaflet down without opening it, "they're calling it the first real breakthrough in years? That it'll revolutionise cancer care? It almost seems to be a miracle treatment?"
"Yeah. Yeah, they are." He doesn't really see Remus' point.
"Love, I've been a part of countless trials. They all say the same thing, but I'm still here, aren't I?"
"You never know, though. This could be the one!" Sirius tries.
"You know, this is why they took you off my case," Remus says with a smile, reaching out and tangling their fingers together. "You got attached. Isn't that, like, the one thing interns aren't supposed to do?" Sirius huffs an empty laugh, looking at the abandoned leaflet. "Sirius, look at me."
Sirius lifts his head, eyes meeting Remus'. There's an intensity in them that Sirius wasn't expecting, slightly taken aback. His face is gaunt, exhausted by the constant treatment.
"You're beautiful," Sirius says softly, squeezing Remus, hand.
"I'm going to die, Sirius," Remus answers simply, gently.
"No. No, you-"
"Yes, I am. We both knew that going in, my love. You don't have to stay and watch that happen, really you don't, but you- you can't fix this. Nobody can."
For some reason, this is when it finally hits Sirius. Everything that he's been trying to do, the conversations that they've been having. It all finally sinks in.
The tears come with it, breaking down before he has a chance to say anything back. He can barely even register the way Remus tugs at his hand, pulling him onto the bed and wrapping his arms around Sirius. The moment arms are around him, warm and comfortable and safe, he curls up into Remus' side and sobs. He cries until he can't breathe, can't think, can't even cry anymore. He's grieving the life he could have gotten with the man holding him through it.
If only they had met under better circumstances. Like normal people, through friends, or at a party. That way, he'd get to watch as Remus grew old, grown right alongside him.
He fucking hates the universe.
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